#thank you studio bones for not letting us down with this one once again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wishesunderthestars · 3 years

Text

Eunoia // Ch. 14

eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness

Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader

Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognition, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness ins’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut

Word Count: 15k+

Warnings: Abuse and violence, past sexual abuse, derogetory language, sexual harassment

Masterlist

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

It has been a long time, I know. Thanks for being patient with me. This was supposed to be the last chapter of Yoongi and Hoseok’s part but I just couldn’t fit everything that needed to happen inside or it would turn into a 30k chapter and be even more late, so I divided it into two.

The taglist is now closed.

Four days felt like a much smaller amount of time than when you had first been informed of your break. When you heard the alarm the morning you had to go back to work, you were tempted to ignore it and cover your head with the sheets. This was strange for two reasons. You always woke up before your alarm and it was impossible for you to fall asleep again after waking up, even when you were exhausted. But your eyes were heavy and sleep was clinging to your bones.

You reached for your phone and turned off the alarm. The hybrids were waiting for you in the kitchen, breakfast already served. You thanked Seokjin, who looked the most awake. Jimin and Jungkook were leaning against each other with their eyes half closed, small yawns escaping them every few minutes. It was a little earlier than the time you usually left but you had to do some work in the company building before you could go to the studios. Hoseok's injuries were much better, you didn't need to check on them twice a day anymore so you avoided going to their room and waking them up.

The fox hybrid had been opening up more and he looked more at ease with his surroundings. After eating dinner with you on the first night of your break, he had timidly asked if they could join you again. His whole face lit up when you told him they would always be welcome. Dinners had turned into lunches too, claiming that way you didn't have to carry the trays to their room every day.

You weren't surprised at how well he got along with Jimin. His heart-shaped smile had even charmed Namjoon. He was fascinated with every little thing and you made use of your break to show him around the house. It could be a little overwhelming, so you stuck to the basics at first. The kitchen, the upstairs living room, the library (where at least one of you could be found most times) and the cinema room. He looked at everything in wonder, his red tail wagging behind him. Yoongi trailed after you, the bored expression on his face slipping at how happy and excited Hoseok was.

The second day of your break Jimin announced that you would all be watching a movie. He would accept no complaints, not that there were any. You made enough popcorn for a whole movie theater while Seokjin and Jungkook made pizza. You strictly forbade them from putting on one of your movies. You were so deeply involved and connected with them you had trouble watching them without overthinking every scene, line and camera angle. Jimin pouted, joined by Jungkook and a more subtle Hoseok. But you didn’t budge. Jimin huffed and selected a comedy with an actor Seokjin liked.

It was the third day of your break and Jimin had dragged you with him to the guest suite, saying he needed his daily cuddles. You were laying together in his bed as you played with his blond strands. His hair was growing longer and he was complaining that it was falling in his eyes but you loved running your hands through it, your fingers getting lost inside. Jimin snuggled into your side, his tail wrapped around your waist.

“You are very affectionate today,” you said. Jimin let out an unsatisfied noise when you stopped massaging his scalp, so you moved your hand upwards, scratching behind his cat ears, eliciting a small moan from him.

“I am always affectionate,” he said, nuzzling against your collarbones. “You’re just not here and you’re tired when you come back.”

You placed a kiss on the crown of his head. “Sorry.” It was your job. You shouldn’t feel guilty. And yet…

Jimin raised his head, your hand falling from his hair to rest on his cheek. “Don’t be. I just wish you were here more. With us. But your job is important.”

“I guess,” you said caressing his cheek, the cat hybrid leaning into your touch. “I’ll try to get some more time off when I go back to work.” It would be difficult but not impossible. There were often breaks for a couple of days in the filming schedule but you usually spent those revising scripts or reviewing the work of the various departments or attending meetings. Many of those things weren’t actually your responsibilities, they weren’t in your contract, you did them because you wanted everything to be perfect. You could take a step back for once and make up for it later.

Jimin leaned against you, purring happily at the prospect of spending more time with you. He had been clinging to you in the past days after your week-long absence. The first night after making up with Jungkook he had slept with him in their room and you’d thought he would sleep there from now on. But the next night you had come out of the shower to find him laying in your bed.

A talk show was playing on the TV, filling the comfortable silence of the room. Jimin whispering your name had you looking away from the screen. “Hoseok is doing better, right?”

“He is. He’s recovering fast. Why are you asking?” you asked, worried that he had noticed something you hadn’t. Hybrids had much more developed senses than humans that could have detected something you had missed.

“He’s nice,” he said, playing with the fake buttons of your shirt. “He looks so happy all the time and he’s so energetic.”

“He is. See? He’s really getting better.” That didn’t seem to satisfy Jimin.

“What if they want to leave now that he’s better?”

You cooed at him, pulling him closer. “Is that what’s brought this on? If they want to leave we can’t stop them. The door is always open if they don’t want to be here anymore. They only came here because Hoseok was injured and he couldn’t go to the hospital.”

“But can they stay?” His eyes were shining as he looked up at you. “Please.”

“They can stay for as long as they want. But I can’t force them to stay.”

Jimin didn’t say anything more, hiding into your side. Last night at dinner, Jimin had been quiet and withdrawn, glancing at Yoongi every few minutes. There was history between them, one that ran deep and cut just as hard. From little clues and pieces and what Jimin himself had told you, you had pieced together an image of Jimin’s past but you had trouble finding where exactly Yoongi fit.

You hadn’t forgotten Jimin’s words in your office the day you had invited the two hybrids in your house. Yoongi once belonged to the same man Jimin did. They had done something to him and Jimin had been left to the adoption center he had escaped from. Yoongi had been left somewhere else, you guessed a less savory place. But you couldn’t figure out what they could have done to be kicked out. Something Jimin still felt guilty about. Betrayal was a strong and sticky word and it was hard to associate it with sweet Jimin, even when that man deserved that and more.

Yoongi was a mystery surrounded by several brick walls. Only a wrecking ball could break them down. You were the kind of person to knock on a wall and wait for it to crumble by itself when it came to people. At work, if the only way to get through an obstacle was a wrecking ball, you would bring a wrecking ball.

Surprises weren’t uncommon for you (see: Virginia earthquake), you had learnt to face them head on and control the consequences. But that hadn’t prepared you for the string of surprises during your break and the days after that.

The first surprise came with how well Hoseok was getting along with the other hybrids. His endearing excitement about anything and everything didn’t fail to amuse them. He would curl up on the grass, bathing in sunlight, often joined by Jimin who had developed the same habit when spring first arrived. He was curious about everything, asking question after question with his red fluffy tail wagging behind him like an overexcited puppy. All of you couldn’t help but humor him and try to answer his questions to the best of your abilities.

The second surprise shocked you more than the first. It was the third night the two hybrids were eating dinner with you in the backyard. Yoongi usually didn’t talk, opting to focus on his food while observing the progression of the meal. Thus when he spoke, everyone fell silent. He didn’t say much, it only took him a couple of seconds to compliment Jin’s cooking then become quiet again. Jin stuttered through his thanks, flustered at the unexpected compliment. The panther hybrid didn’t talk again for the rest of the meal.

The third surprise was seeing Yoongi and Jimin sitting next to each other, sometimes in silence and sometimes talking. Being pulled to each other like a moth to the flame. It made Hoseok all too happy to spend time with both of them.

The fourth surprise came in the form of a text from a contact you hadn’t interacted with since Christmas. You laid back on your bed, staring at the paragraphs-long text and forgetting about anything else. You stared and stared as if the letters would rearrange themselves, or better yet disappear if you stared long enough.

You didn’t notice how much time you had spent there unmoving until there was a knock on the door.

“Open,” you called.

The door was pushed open and Namjoon walked into the room, his gray hair falling in his face. In the mornings he looked younger. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Yeah,” you said, not moving. They never had to call you for breakfast. Your schedules had become so in sync you arrived for breakfast the moment it was ready or a few minutes early.

“What happened?” Namjoon asked. He approached, sitting down next to you on the bed.

“Nothing happened, I guess. It’s an invitation.” The text had been sent late last night but you had missed it, leaving your phone to charge upon coming back home and not looking at it again. “It’s from my parents. For a gala.”

“Your parents?” The surprise was evident in his face. You didn’t talk much about your parents, those were conversations you didn’t tend to enjoy. Your parents were a topic you weren’t well-versed in and your lack of confidence was irritating.

You looked at the text again, black letters surrounded by gray. “They invited me to a fashion gala. They would really appreciate it if I could attend.” Reading the text again, you wondered if your mother had asked someone else to write it before deeming it persuasive enough to send. “It’s held in Beverly Hills.”

“When?” Namjoon asked.

“Saturday. In less than a week.” It was Tuesday.

Namjoon glanced at your phone. “Do you want to go?”

The answer was more complicated than you would have liked. You didn’t feel like buying a new gown (god forbid if you wore a dress you had worn before at such an event), having your makeup and hair done and plastering a smile on your face while exchanging pleasantries with people you didn’t know for the whole night. But it wasn’t that easy. You hadn’t attended the Christmas event your mother had organized, using work as an excuse, not feeling like showing up at an event in the mindset you had fallen into. Although she didn’t show it, your mother had been offended.

You couldn’t skip another event.

You threw an arm over your eyes, groaning. “I can’t not go. My mother organized the gala, it will look bad if I’m not there.”

“I could come with you,” Namjoon offered.

It would be nice having someone there with you. Namjoon had a way of calming you down and settling your worries but actually remembering those galas made you change your mind. The rich and mighty loved showing off their wealth and power and hybrids were part of that allure. You wouldn’t subject Namjoon to that. You weren’t sure how he would react. You didn’t want to subject him to your parents’ scrutiny either.

“It would be better if I went alone,” you said. Namjoon threaded his fingers with yours in understanding. He pulled on your hand until you were sitting up on the bed, facing him.

“If you don’t want to go, you shouldn’t.”

Only that it wasn’t so simple. Or it was just your human nature making this overcomplicated.

“My mother will be really disappointed if I don’t go. I didn’t go to her last event, either. It will look bad if I don’t go to this one too.” Namjoon squeezed your hand, urging you to continue. “I’m just tired of them. Galas, events, they are all the same and not in a good way. Sure, there are some people worth talking too. I’ve had some great conversations there, but those are far and few in between. Most people are just trying to outshine the one next to them. And my mother only wants me there to complete the picture.”

The powerful and influential couple with their successful daughter. It was an image that haunted you. Most times you tried to ignore it because it wasn’t fair of you to judge your parents like that. They never made you attend those events, they didn’t get angry when you couldn’t make it. But it left a sour taste in your mouth when those events were the only times you saw them anymore.

“You don’t have to be alone there.” Namjoon brought your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss in the middle of your palm. “I’m always here if you change your mind. It would feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want you there. I do,” you said. “But that isn’t a world you want to be a part of, it isn’t really my world either. There, hybrids are just expensive accessories and I don’t want people to look at you like that. Like you are something to be had.”

Namjoon’s eyes were soft on you as he cupped your cheek with the hand that wasn’t holding yours. “That’s how most people look at us. It isn’t something new. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m used to it.”

“But it isn’t right.” You sounded like a five-year-old complaining that the world wasn’t fair because her parents didn’t buy her ice cream but you couldn’t help it. “And it isn’t just the other people, the guests. I’m not sure about my parents either. They don’t know I’ve adopted you. Actually, they don’t know about anything that has happened in my life this year.”

“I understand if you don’t want them to know about us.”

“It isn’t that,” you said. “Not exactly. I don’t want them involved in my business and judging my choices. They- They are my parents and I guess they care about me in their own way but I won’t be able to stay calm if they look at you like they are estimating your price tag.”

Namjoon leaned closer, bringing your foreheads together. You closed your eyes, surrounded by his warmth. “All I care about is for you to feel comfortable and if my presence there will make things worse then I won’t come with you. But if you change your mind, I’ll be right here. Whatever you want, I’m here.”

You tilted your head, waiting for his lips to touch yours. You shared a sweet kiss before there was another knock at the door.

“Namjoon! Did you wake her up?” Seokjin shouted from the other side of the door. “The breakfast is getting cold! I woke up at the crack of dawn to make it!”

You giggled as you separated.

“Let’s go before he decides we don’t deserve food,” Namjoon said.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

You had to readjust your schedule for the gala. There were many things you had to do in the five days leading up to it. Your mother was so pleased you accepted the invitation she called you the very next day to tell you how happy she was you would be attending. She hadn’t organized a fashion gala in years and it meant a lot that you would be there to support her. The gala was all about the importance of fashion and the unique interpretations of old and new big names in the industry. It would be one of the grandest events of the year, even if your mother was as clueless about fashion as she was about your life. She enjoyed watching the glorious parts and giving compliments, but rarely got more involved than that.

She had arranged for you to meet with one of the designers featured at the event. You could choose a dress from his collection that would be showcased at the gala. Your mother reassured you that they would do everything so your dress would be fitted to your exact measurements and ready for you to wear on time. You didn’t complain. It would be otherwise impossible to find a dress of the caliber your mother expected in such a short time.

The designer came to your house himself with his assistants. He was a nice young man with a tilted accent revealing that he wasn’t originally from the United States. You made small talk about the different kinds of art characterizing your jobs. They took your measurements and presented you with a few options the designer had selected for you. Some were more eccentric than others but all of them were beautiful.

After discussing with him and listening to his opinions, you selected a piece with gold and red embroidery and a flowy skirt. He was very pleased with your choice, going on and on about how good it would look on you. You felt fluttered at how excited he was for you to wear his design.

You had to meet him again a few days later for the first fitting. He offered to come to your house again but it would be easier for the alterations to be at his studio, where all of his tools were.

Jimin had seen the opportunity to spend more time with you and put on his most convincing puppy eyes asking you to take him with you to the fashion studio. You had no reason to refuse, you wanted to spend more time with him too. Somehow Jimin roped Seokjin into coming with you as well. They waited for you outside until the alterations were done. You couldn’t resist spoiling them while you were out so you took them for waffles. From Seokjin’s stuffed face it was safe to say he enjoyed them.

You had to go back to work after the fitting but Jimin was clinging to you not letting you go, which was how you ended up with the two of them at the final table-reading for the first episode of the Raven Cycle. They both quietly watched the actors delivering their lines. Jimin leaned forward in his seat as he got more and more invested in the scenes, snapping out of it whenever one scene ended and you discussed corrections and suggestions.

The atmosphere was light and friendly. You were professionals and you believed in maintaining a healthy environment of communication and mutual respect that left space for jokes and friendships to develop. The chemistry between the actors was important and you found that when they were friends and had a bond in real life too, it showed.

“Okay, that was great. I liked Ronan’s extra lines, we should keep that in.” The writer next to you wrote it down. “It’s getting late so let’s take a small break for a few minutes and move on to scene fifteen and sixteen and we’re completely done with episode one.” Everyone agreed with you and soon chatter was filling the room. You stretched your arms behind you, your body was complaining after sitting for too many hours.

The snacks and refreshments on the table against the wall were dwindling as the table-reading went on. All the important people in the project were there; the executive producers, the writers, the heads of the various departments and of course all the main actors of the first episode. The room with the large table and the many couches and chairs was large enough for everyone.

Three more days of table reading, which was mainly for revisions, and you would be done, leaving around a week before filming was scheduled to start. Just on time. Despite unfortunate surprises and earthquakes, you were on time. Next week you would be back in the studios standing behind the cameras watching years of work and planning coming to life. The first moments of filming in every movie or TV show whispered to you in silver and gold lines that you couldn’t describe as anything else than magic.

You picked up a bottle of water and a sandwich from the snack table, getting caught up in a short conversation with one of the producers. Your scalp was beginning to hurt from the tight ponytail your hair was trapped in. With a pat on your shoulder, the producer left to find the head of the costume department.

Jimin and Jin were sitting on the smallest couch, away from the table in the middle of the room. Jimin’s ears twitched as you settled on the armrest. You handed him the sandwich.

“For me?”

“You have been looking at it as much as you have been looking at the actors.”

Jimin still didn’t take a bite. “I already ate two.”

“And now you will eat one more.” You nudged the sandwich closer to his face. “They are quite small. I think Will has eaten seven since we started.” You glanced at your assistant, he was talking with two of the actors.

Jimin smiled at you like you were sharing a secret before diving into his sandwich. You opened your water bottle and gulped down half of it in seconds.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go? It’s past eight and it will take at least one more hour to finish the last two scenes and wrap everything up.” You had asked them if they wanted to leave three times since you’d arrived and the answer had been the same each time.

“It’s eight?” Jin asked, pulling out his phone from his pocket. You leaned over Jimin to peek at the screen seeing a few texts from Namjoon and Jungkook and notifications from the various apps Jin used. You had texted Namjoon earlier so he wouldn’t worry that Jin and Jimin hadn’t returned home.

“And it will be at least nine by the time I’m done,” you said.

“We’ve been here for three hours. We can wait for you one more.” Jin opened the messages app reading the texts, a smile appearing on his face.

Jimin had eaten more than half of the sandwich, crumbs sticking at the sides of his mouth. “I want to see what happens at the end. Pretty please?”

“We will wait for you,” Jin said. “We don’t have anything better to do,” he added, to which Jimin agreed enthusiastically. You scratched the cat hybrid's ears while he devoured the rest of the sandwich.

What you hadn’t considered before taking them with you was that the table reading would give away many spoilers for the show. Spoilers were the bane of your existence. Not everyone minded them but you disliked them with passion. You had almost strangled Zayn when he had told you a spoiler he had seen on Twitter for the ending of Avengers: Infinity War, minutes before the movie started. Zayn had been very lucky the lights hadn’t gone out yet. The suspense was one of your favorite parts and that was ruined for you when you knew what would happen.

At least it was the first episode but there was a lot of discussion on how certain parts or pieces of dialogue would connect with later episodes. The fact that it was an adaptation also changed things. You had been adamant about staying true to the original story and keeping in as many scenes from the book as you could. Your additions revolved around character development, the relationships between the characters, and some conflicts that hadn’t been in the book but you had discussed in length with Maggie. In this case, you didn’t know exactly how to define spoilers.

As expected, you finished the table reading twenty minutes past nine. Gathering all your folders from the table, the scripts, and various notes from the writers and producers, you hid them all away in your backpack. Henrietta and the magical forest were coming to life from their voices alone. You could already imagine how captivating it would be on screen.

Jimin was laying his head on Jin’s shoulder with his arm wrapped around the older’s waist. It had taken some time for them to relax in the room full of strangers, some of who hadn’t been subtle about staring. One look from you and their gazes had darted away. It still wasn’t common to have a hybrid, much less three, but you didn’t care how curious they were if they were making Jimin and Jin uncomfortable.

During the first break, early at the table reading, you had been roped into a debate about a possible change in one of the scenes. The two hybrids had kept to themselves, staying quiet and watching. The actress playing Blue had walked up to them with a wide smile and introduced herself. The remaining tension in them was released when she struck up a conversation with them.

“Time to get going,” you said. Jimin looked up at you, blinking drowsily. “Should I tell John to carry you to the car?”

“We’re leaving?” he asked, rubbing at his eyes.

“Thankfully yes so you need to get up.” You had wrapped everything up, saying goodbye to everyone and you were ready to go.

Jin kissed Jimin’s blond curls. “Let’s go and get you into an actual bed.” He got up and pulled Jimin with him, the younger hybrid was clinging to his back like a koala from the hallway where you met up with John to the parking lot.

In the car, you looked at them through the rear-view mirror. Jimin’s eyes were closed, laying his head on Jin’s shoulder.

“Hard day?” John asked, moving the gear shift to the left and then up.

“I’m a little afraid that my scenario might be a little boring,” you said glancing behind you. “It’s too early for him to be falling asleep.”

The car started moving, leaving the dimly lit parking lot behind. “He’s not used to being out for that long,” Jin said smoothing down Jimin’s hair with care. Jin cared for you with everything he had, you tried to do the same but it was close to impossible with how busy you were.

“If it’s my scenario though, I need to rewrite that thing from beginning to end.”

John chuckled. “Good luck telling that to the writers and the producers. They’ll love it.”

They’d love it as much as cats loved swimming.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

You took the day of the gala off. If you went to the gala tired after work, you wouldn’t be able to put a smile on your face and keep it there. It wasn’t so much that the galas were awful but that you felt out of place in them. Your mother had many connections and she would invite the “best” of her world. Some faces had become familiar, a steady fixture in your mother’s guest lists. Some faces you should be able to recognize but you didn’t, resulting in interactions based on pretending.

At the after-parties of award shows and premieres, you were more at ease. The designer dresses and suits were the same, worn by rich and influential people, but it was people you knew and respected. Your skin wasn’t prickling at the tension, lost somewhere between remembering a name or a company and ignoring the jabs at other guests or the rumors spreading like vines.

The last event you had attended was in New York last September, it had been the event of the year according to your mother. Jacob had accompanied you, hugging your mother and shaking hands with your father. He had stayed next to you from the moment you stepped into the place to the moment you got into the car to leave. You had to somewhat agree with your mother. A lot of interesting people were in attendance, famous writers and journalists, and you succeeded in ignoring the less favorable situations.

Your parents had changed a lot, or maybe it was just the circumstances that had changed and the different perspective you had as an adult. You used to cast them as the absentee parents, an overused trope you didn't find much merit in. It was too simple, too straightforward. They didn't disappear from one day to the next, cutting all contact with you. It was more like the times they were there grew fewer and fewer until they had moved permanently to New York by the time you were eight. Your father had been offered a position he couldn't refuse and your mother loved him too much to leave him alone there. She tried, she tried to stay for you but she had been trying to find a reason to leave your hometown since she was a teenager. The penthouses and neat offices fit her far better than the beaches and town squares ever did.

It started as a few weeks at first. Your father would be staying in the city for some meetings and your mother wanted to join him. His job involved a lot of traveling and in most of your memories, he was holding a suitcase. A few weeks turned into a month the next time, then into a few months you had to stay with your aunt and your cousins. After you turned eight, they were coming back only for a few weeks every year.

When you were ten you stopped answering their calls and refused to talk to them. Your mother still tried, even traveled back to be with you. Instead of staying at your house with her, you stayed with your aunt. Your mother left defeated. It took a year for you to speak to them again. Childish, but you couldn't blame your past self. The cracks in your relationship with your parents were still there. As an attempt to prevent them from widening and growing, you at least tried to attend the events your mother invited you to.

Another one to add to the list.

"Does the duck look ready to you?" you asked Jin. Roasted duck wasn't a dish you had experience with but that wasn't the only reason you called for Jin. Being home for the day you had offered to help Jin cook lunch. Cooking helped take your mind off, focusing on the recipe and chatting with Jin.

Jin left the lettuce he was washing in the bowl and dried his hands in a towel. His steps were careful and measured, one of his hands holding on the counter.

"It looks good," he said. "You can take it out."

You opened the oven, pulling back last minute so the heat wouldn't burn your face. "It smells incredible! I think I got ten times hungrier just smelling this."

Jin chuckled but it was strained. "I'm too good at this." He was still holding onto the counter.

"You won't catch me complaining."

He went back to the lettuce in the sink, his bangs falling into his face and covering his eyes. You wrapped the chicken breasts in foil and let them rest for a few minutes. The figs were caramelized and the potatoes fried until golden. That was about it for the main dish.

Jin was cutting the lettuce so you occupied yourself with making the salad dressing. You worked in silence. It wasn't for the lack of anything to say but a flinch from Jin earlier, while you had been talking, had you lowering your voice and then closing your mouth when you were finished with that sentence. It was only for a moment before he turned away, but it was enough for you to notice. You had asked him if he was alright twice and both times the answer had been the same. After that, it was clear he wouldn't tell you anything else regardless of how many times you asked.

A thud echoed in the room followed, not a second after, by the sound of metal clattering on wood. The spoon you used to mix the ingredients of the salad dressing stilled in your hand. Jin had fallen to his knees on the floor, holding the counted with one hand and his head with the other. The knife laid abandoned on the cutting board next to the lettuce.

For a moment your surroundings blurred from the surprise before coming into crystal clear focus. You rushed to Jin's side, who was trying to pull himself back up to his feet.

"I'm alright. I slipped," he said.

"You slipped? Seriously?" You had one arm around his waist and it stayed there as he leaned back against the counter. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just a little dizzy," Jin muttered. That close to him, only a breath away, you could see how pale he was, the dark circles under his eyes standing out against the white of his skin.

"You haven't been alright since we started cooking. You aren't just a little dizzy, that's not how someone is when they're a little dizzy."

Jin turned his head to the side, avoiding your gaze. "Let it go, please. Only the salad is left. I'll rest after we eat."

"Jin, that's not..." Clueless about how to continue, you pressed your palm to his forehead. In winter your hands were always freezing cold, it didn't matter if the temperature wasn't that low they would turn into popsicles mere seconds after going outside. Only that it wasn’t winter but spring and your hands were as warm as they could be, that’s why it was that much more concerning that his forehead was warmer than it should be under your touch. “You’re burning up. How are you still standing?”

“It isn’t that bad,” Jin said. He wasn’t looking at you.

“It isn’t that bad?” you repeated in disbelief. “Forget about the salad, I’m taking you to your room.”

You were about to turn around when Jin gripped your elbow weakly. “You don’t need to, really, I can finish up here, it isn’t the first time. I can do it.” The sweat that was gathering on his forehead and his tired eyes told a different story.

“You have been cooking while feeling sick?” you asked. Being out of the house almost all day it wouldn’t have been hard to miss and when you came back at night you weren’t that aware of your surroundings, but the other hybrids would have been able to see past Jin’s pretenses.

“Not here,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

That’s something you should have expected. You had never met his previous owners but you couldn’t stop yourself from hating them for what they had done to him. Hate was too strong of a word but you didn’t have any other name for the burning in your chest whenever you witnessed how insecure and self-conscious Jin had become of them.

You cupped his cheek in your palm turning his head to face you and you rested your forehead against his, your noses bumping. At the touch his shoulders slumped, his back muscles unraveling under your hand. Jin joked that it was weird that his scent glands weren’t in the same places as other hybrids’ but in strange places like his forehead. You couldn’t agree with him because standing there with your foreheads touching it was just as intimate.

The walk to his room was silent. You opened the door for him and watched him hide under the covers, between the countless pillows and stuffed animals. Before leaving, you placed a kiss on his forehead your lips warming up because of his fever. You wanted to stay there with him and with the way he was holding your hand he wanted the same but the lettuce was waiting for you back in the kitchen and there were five hybrids you had to feed.

Finishing up the meal was a matter of minutes. The dressing for the salad had been made and you only had to finish cutting the lettuce and a few fresh tomatoes before mixing everything in a large bowl. You unwrapped the foil from around the duck breasts and arranged them in plates, adding the figs with the pan juices and the fried potatoes. It looked like something you would order at a five-star restaurant, most of Jin’s cooking did.

The mouth-watering aroma must have drifted downstairs because as you were putting the last touches on the plates two sets of feet were running up the staircase. Jimin looked like he had been lured into the kitchen by some magical force, transfixed on the plates on the counter. He sniffed, making tiny happy noises.

“This smells so good. I’m hungry!” he whined.

Jungkook followed behind, taking a look at the plates and turning to you with pleading eyes. “When are we eating?”

You shook your head at their antics. “I just finished up, you can take them down if you want so stop looking at me like that.”

Jimin pouted, his shoulders raising. “Looking at you like what?”

“Stop that, I know what you’re doing.”

Jimin continued on, batting his eyelashes at you. “What am I doing? Am I not doing good?”

You pinched his cheek, making him giggle. “I thought you were hungry but apparently you aren’t hungry enough if you’re still here instead of taking the food down.” At that Jungkook was quick to take out the large trays and fill them with the plates and bowls.

Jimin went to help before pausing. “Where is Jinnie?”

Jin was always in the kitchen before meals, helping the two youngest carry the trays to the backyard. You didn’t want to worry Jimin, he was very sensitive to how others were feeling. His emotional walls were so thin that your blues and grays bled into his yellow. “He’s in his room resting, he’s feeling a little under the weather today.”

“But…How didn’t we notice anything?” Jimin asked.

You patted his shoulder. “I didn’t either until we were cooking lunch. He just needs to rest and he will be better in no time.” Jimin gazed at the food like it could give him the answers he was looking for, you continued. “The duck is his recipe, he only went to his room after the food was ready.” You didn’t mention how he had collapsed while cutting the lettuce, a knife in his hand and way too many grievous possibilities.

Jungkook picked up the nicest plate, you had made it last and having used the previous six ones as practice it had come out looking the best. “Can I take it to him?” It was well-known that he had a soft spot for Jin, sneaking into his room the nights he was running away chased by guilt. Jin had been the only one he had let in then. But again, they all had a soft spot for each other, it may translate differently into actions but it was the same at the core.

You pulled out a smaller bowl from the cupboard. Let me put some salad in this first.” This was one of the only salads everyone liked, even Jimin who was firmly against eating most greens (Namjoon didn’t like them much either but at least he was trying). You filled a glass with water as well and placed it on the smaller tray Jungkook had prepared. “Don’t wake him up if he’s sleeping, he looked really tired.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Jungkook promised picking up the tray and leaving for Jin’s room.

Jimin went back to arranging the plates on the trays. “He’ll be alright soon, right?”

“Of course he will,” you reassured him. “In no time he will be shouting at Jungkook for eating his ingredients and having fights with any insects that find their way to the garden. Now, let’s take these down because having the food right in front of me and not eating it is killing me.”

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

Jin had a terrible headache, that’s where everything had started. He had woken up and instantly wanted to roll to his other side and fall asleep again covering his head with the blanket. His eyes refused to stay open and everything around him was like he was in a fog. His body wasn’t his own, it was like watching someone else execute each move he commanded, like he had lost parts of his senses. Everything was duller.

Powering through, he got up and made his bed, throwing the blankets over it with less precision than usual and arranging his stuffed animals against the pillows. It was your day off because of the gala and he had to make breakfast for you and the other hybrids.

It was enough that he got a few more hours of sleep as a result of the lack of your morning schedule. He could deal with the world being a little blurry at the edges and his body not cooperating every few minutes.

He made an easy breakfast for the day, which was a little disappointing when you were able to sit and enjoy it for once, but he was physically unable to do anything more. Sitting down would help. After breakfast, he would lay down on the couch and he would be better in no time.

Breakfast came and went and in a few hours, he had to start making lunch. Your offer to help was a godsend with his feet feeling like jelly. He thought he had it under control, that he could get through lunch then go to his room and hide under the covers where no one could see him. Until his legs gave up on him.

The knife slipped out of his hand and he watched its slow descent to the cutting board. In a blink he was on his knees, he blinked again and you were next to him helping him up. Hybrids weren’t supposed to get sick, scientists had engineered their whole being down to the color of their hair and eyes, they could strengthen their immune system as well. His past owners used to say that it was in his head because he was living with humans, that if he got sick the center must have given them a problematic hybrid and that couldn’t be true. He had paid a lot for Jin.

The door opened just enough for you to poke your head in. “Jin?” you whispered, quiet enough to not wake him up if he had been sleeping but loud enough for his hearing to pick up while awake. He lowered the blankets from his face. “Hey, did you finish with your food?”

“Yeah, it’s…” He pointed to the tray on the nightstand, he didn’t have enough strength to take it to the desk. You didn’t comment on the food that was left on the plates.

“Are you feeling any better?” you asked. His head still hurt and the heaviness of his body didn’t subside, but it was much better than when he had been standing so he nodded. “Do you need anything else? I brought some medicine if you want, I read that it’s alright for hybrids to take.” Despite the pain and the weariness of his body, he smiled at you and your research. The way you cared about them was endearing. You pulled out a packet from your back pocket.

“I think I’ll take one.” The constant drumming behind his temples and the back of his head was getting too much. It was so bad it wouldn’t let him sleep.

“I’ll go get some water for you.” You left the packet on the nightstand and picked up the tray with the leftovers.

Jin rolled to his back staring at the ceiling. He didn’t get sick often and he hated how his body was betraying him. You returned with a glass filled with water in one hand and a jug in the other.

“There you go,” you said handing him the glass. You opened the medicine packet and pressed a white tablet out. It was light in his palm, almost as if it wasn’t there. He put it in his mouth and washed it down with water. “You’ll feel better in no time.” You stroked his hair and he had to hold himself back from purring. Being sick he craved affection more than ever before.

“Don’t come too close, you’ll get sick too.”

You didn’t pull back. “Then I’ll have a reason to stay at home. It doesn’t sound so bad.” You tugged at the blanket. “Fancy some company?” Jin scooted to the side, letting you slip in next to him. Something inside him rejoiced at having you in his nest with him. It was ridiculous, having the need to nest was ridiculous, but he couldn’t suppress it. You turned around to face him, your head on a light blue pillow you had picked up from the pile. “Do you mind if I stay here for a bit?”

In the absence of words, he nodded his head. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You weren’t wearing makeup today in anticipation of the heavy makeup you would have to wear for the gala. The shadows under your eyes, concealed any other day, were threatening to spill over the rest of your face. The late nights had been many in the past few days, making up for the breaks you were taking. More and more he came to realize that work was your life and you were like a fish escaping water pushing it back.

You didn’t speak, basking in the silent company of each other. Jin let his worries go and, thanks to the medicine, his headache got duller until he couldn’t feel it. He didn’t notice when he fell asleep, waking up to voices.

“…feeling better, the medicine must have kicked in. His temperature has gone back to normal too,” you whispered.

“Okay, that’s good. Our Jinnie is strong,” the other voice said and heat traveled up to the top of Jin’s ears. The voice was unmistakably Namjoon’s and it was so warm Jin wanted to wrap it around himself and never let go. “I think we woke him up.”

“Oh no,” you complained, still whispering. “Jin?”

He opened his eyes, abandoning the comfort of the familiar darkness. You leaning on your forearm peering at him. His heart was beating faster.

“We woke you up, didn’t we?” you asked, looking guilty.

“It’s alright.” He could hear how rough his voice was from sleep. “What time is it?”

“Five,” you said.

He had been sleeping for more than three hours.

Namjoon took a step forward from the door. “I brought you some tea and biscuits,” he said, placing the tray on the now-empty nightstand.

Jin sat up on the bed with his back against the headboard. “Thank you. Can you…?” You picked up the steaming mug and handed it to him, holding it carefully so he wouldn’t burn himself. The plate of biscuits was placed on his lap over the blankets. It was a warm day but the air-conditioning was on in Jin’s room, the weight of the blankets over him promised safety and he didn’t want to be sweating from the heat.

“I’ll be going then,” Namjoon said with a small smile, the two of you exchanging a look.

“Wait.” Namjoon stopped in his tracks. Jin blamed his impulsiveness on the part of him that was controlled by the sugar-glider’s nature. Namjoon shouldn’t be leaving. Namjoon was pack and he should be with him when he wasn’t well, he should be taking care of Jin. One followed the other and it didn’t listen to logic. But he was tired and although the headache was gone, his head was still hazy, so he gave in. “Can you stay?”

The soft smile on Namjoon’s face was enough to wipe away any of his lingering doubts. “Of course I can.” Jin pulled up the blankets inviting him in. Namjoon pulled him closer bringing his forehead to his. The mug shook in Jin’s hold, you covered his hand with yours steading it. Jin realized it wasn’t only his hands shaking as Namjoon scented him tenderly. He felt so weak between the two of you.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

The makeup artist asked you to close your eyes again to finish your eyeliner. Your makeup had to compliment your dress, like you were a model on the runway and your purpose was to sell the design. You had to admit that it looked beautiful so far, the gold eyeshadow and the dramatic eyeliner. She completed the look with a matte red lipstick while the hairstylist was releasing the last loose curl from the curling wand. You looked like someone out of a movie and tonight you would have to own that.

They helped you put on the dress like you were incapable of doing it on your own. In these cases, everything had to be perfect, including the most mundane of things. The jewelry was modest as not to take the attention away from the dress but enhance the look. A golden necklace with a ruby surrounded by tiny diamonds to decorate the skin the plunging neckline left bare, small diamond earrings, and golden bracelets.

Half an hour left before the gala and you were ready. The charm was arriving a little late so you had to wait before leaving. The stylists took their leave but you stayed at the fitting room/styling section of the closet, which was right under the actual master closet.

The dress fit you like a glove, bringing attention to all the right areas and burying any imperfections. It was the kind of Cinderella transformation the protagonists in older movies used to go through before getting the guy, but it happened all the time to you. A spy in an action movie, a confident heroine knowing how to use her looks, a girl going to a party to have fun and get drunk, that’s more along the lines of the characters you liked to imagine yourself as. You were far from being any of those characters but it was fun to daydream sometimes.

One last look in the mirror and you climbed up the spiral staircase to your closet, turning off the lights behind you. The designer you had met had been pleasant and your conversations hadn’t been awkward. If the rest of the guests, or at least the majority, were like him then the night could be fun.

The hybrids were all in the living room, even Hoseok and Yoongi. Yoongi wasn’t sitting far from them, in a separate sphere, but next to Jimin who was pointing at something in a book. They all looked at you when you came in, the back of the dress sweeping the floor behind you.

“How does it look?” you asked, doing a twirl. The response was delayed by a few moments.

Namjoon snapped out of it first, coming closer to you and taking your hand. “You look beautiful.” He leaned in for your neck before his face scrunched up in displeasure.

“What?” you asked.

He sniffed at the air. “You…”

“Oh, oh,” you said in realization. “It’s the perfume, it’s quite strong, isn’t it? It’s a Christmas gift from my mother, she said she really liked it so I thought I would wear it for her.”

Namjoon tamed his expression but the frown didn’t disappear. “It’s a little overwhelming. It overpowers everything else.” The perfume was too much for you too, it wasn’t surprising that it was too much for the keen noses of the hybrids. The perfume you wore day to day in spring was a lot lighter and you didn’t put on a lot. You had never stopped to think about how perfumes would affect the hybrids.

“I’ll be sure to not wear it again then,” you said, giving his hand a squeeze.

“That isn’t what I meant.” Namjoon scratched the back of his neck. “You can wear it if you like it. It’s just a little much.”

“Well,” you looked at him and the other hybrids conspiratorially, “it isn’t my favorite, either, and if it affects you like that why would I keep wearing it?” Namjoon’s face smoothed out and you noticed Hoseok looking at you with amazement.

You opened the leather clutch and put in your phone and your keys. Your lipstick and powder were already inside along with a pack of tissues. It didn’t fit any more things.

“I’ll be going now. I’m fashionably late enough.” Before going, Jungkook and Jimin kissed you on each cheek careful not to ruin your makeup. Jin had fallen asleep again and none of you were willing to wake him up.

The night could become difficult so you ignored Yoongi’s eyes on you. You didn’t need any more people judging you.

A limousine was waiting for you outside, limousines were practically part of the dress code in these events. John wasn’t with you this time, you had given him the night off. These kinds of events starred in his nightmares, standing in the corner all night not saying a word. That’s how they kept up the illusion. Regardless of how many times you told him you didn’t care about it, he would follow what was expected of him.

The bright lights blinded you when you arrived. Everyone seemed to want to take a look at you. Your heels sunk into the red carpet at the entrance hall, large paintings in golden frames hanging from the walls. You were led up a grand staircase to the hall the gala was taking place. And so the night began…

You listened through speeches about fashion and the vision of the fashion industry and each individual designer. A few parts were quite interesting, but most of them failed to do anything more than repeat the same old ideas again and again. However, the champagne did make everything a little more tolerable. Your mother had been very happy to see you there and she had told you at least three times how beautiful you were. Your father smiled at you, a smile that looked way too political to be for his daughter, the same smile he would put on when greeting the president.

After the speeches were finished, your mother linked your elbows. It was time for the introductions. You put on your camera smile and shook more hands than you ever did at work. The compliments on your work were many, which ones were genuine was a mystery. But it did feel good when the daughter of one of your father’s associates told you how much she loved the finale of season 4 of Paper Hearts and asked you about Six of Crows.

You said goodbye to an older couple and your mother led you to the buffet. A sculpture of a man pinning fabrics on a mannequin stood proudly in the middle, surrounded by plates of food so perfect that it looked more fake than the decorative food pieces you used on set.

Your mother took another flute of champagne from a waiter. “Mr. Jones will be retiring soon but his son doesn’t want to take over the company. It causes a lot of family drama. I heard they only exchange a few words when they meet but Mr. Jones isn’t backing down.” You had no idea what company they had or who their son was but you nodded. “Ah, I wanted to ask you. You didn’t say anything about adopting hybrids.”

Your hand stilled before you could taste the hors d' oeuvres that looked like a sandwich but was too fancy to call it that. “Hybrids?” you repeated.

“I didn’t know you were interested in them,” your mother continued, unaware of how tense you had become. “Certainly not interested enough to adopt four. Are you making a collection?” She laughed at her joke but you only felt ill.

“No, I wouldn’t say that.” You took a bite of the food, trying to swallow it down. You had lost your appetite.

Your mother sipped on her champagne. “That would be a unique one, it could be showcased.” The churning in your stomach got worse. You left the piece that looked like a sandwich aside.

“How did you learn of it?”

“Don’t you read any magazines? It was front-page news.” You had expected that the information would be published sooner or later, you hadn’t been exactly hiding it, but sooner or later was in the future not now. “You should have told me, I would have looked for some high-quality places to buy them from. There are some very beautiful exotic pieces I have seen. Mrs. Anderson, do you remember her? She couldn’t make it this time but she was at the charity event last September.” You didn’t remember her but you nodded again. “She has such a cute chinchilla hybrid and he’s so well-trained too. I hope yours were trained well, I heard it’s difficult to train them yourself. Where did you adopt them from?”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat. “An adoption center in Los Angeles,” you lied easily. Spending hours and hours every day with actors, instructing them about how each scene would seem more natural, you had picked up a few tricks. “I just really liked them and they were already a pack, I didn’t want to break them up.”

Your mother arched a single perfectly-drawn eyebrow, a skill you had sadly not inherited. “A pack? Does that actually exist? Dear, the center must have been trying to give you four hybrids instead of one. Pack,” she tried out the word and she didn’t particularly like the results. “That certainly sounds like some kind of con. What are they? Are all of them wolves?”

“No, they aren’t all wolves. And it was three hybrids, I adopted the other one later from Tennessee with Taylor.”

Taylor’s name brought a spark to your mother. “Oh, how is Taylor? Such a sweet girl, I should have invited her. I will next time.” Your mother had met Taylor exactly once during one of the few of your movie premieres she had actually attended. “Which one did you adopt from there?”

You gritted your teeth, debating how much information was wise to give your mother. “Jin, he’s a sugar glider hybrid.”

That seemed to please her. “Sugar glider? That sounds fancy. I would like to see him up close.” Like you would ever allow that to happen. “He must be a rare breed.”

“He is.”

“Of course, I should have expected that my daughter would decide on a rare breed,” she said as if she was congratulating herself. “I insist you bring him to the next event. I was never that interested in hybrids, too much work, but one would look good in photos.”

“Yeah, I guess he would.” You took a deep breath, it wasn’t the time to throw a tantrum like you were five years old again or puke all over your expensive dress and shoes.

The expression on your mother’s face grew somber. “But four hybrids are a lot, I don’t think I know anyone who owns that many.” She twirled the flute in her hand, waves of the golden liquor hitting the glass and bubbles rising to the surface. “After what happened with Jacob I understand you have been feeling lonely, but hybrids aren’t good substitutes for human company, dear. You can’t rely on them as you relied on him or another man.”

A waiter offered you a glass of champagne from a golden tray. You couldn’t drink too much and risk your tongue loosening but you could allow yourself one more glass to get through this. “I’m not trying to replace him. They aren’t some kind of rebound.”

By her pinched expression, she didn’t believe you. “It’s alright to look for company somewhere else when you feel lonely. I don’t want you to think I’m judging your choices, you are an adult and free to make your own decisions but I’m your mother and I’m worried. You and Jacob were together for so long, we were sure he was the one for you. He was so nice and he took care of you. Your father and I were so happy for you.”

“Not all good relationships last. People change, they grow apart.”

“That’s true. It’s difficult getting out of a relationship after being together for so many years and getting back to your feet. That’s why I understand. I understand that you don’t want to be alone right now but don’t put all of your energy into hybrids. It just isn’t the same. Whatever some people like to say, hybrids are hybrids. They are different from us, they are on a different level. You can’t have the same connection with someone you own.”

Her words continued ringing in your mind for the rest of the night. Your father soon called you to introduce you to one of his colleagues, a successful businessman and politician you had never heard of. The glass of champagne was replaced by another one. You promised yourself it was the last. The owner of a luxurious brand talked with your mother about his plan to expand to more countries and the rehearsed and repeated vision to connect the world through fashion.

You peered at the other guests, all mingling, talking, and laughing. A man only a few feet away from you slapped a girl’s ass. You couldn’t believe your eyes, stuff like that didn’t happen at an event like this. You expected a scene, shouting and screaming and everything in between. Nothing happened. The man that had his arm around her waist only laughed. That’s when you noticed the black fluffy ears on top of her head, they were the same color as her hair and easy to miss. She didn’t have a tail. A silver collar with blue stones the same shade as her dress was secured around her neck. Her shoulders were tense and her head lowered.

In any other situation, any other time, you would have done something. You would have walked up to them and said something, anything you could think of on the spot, even talked to her, made a few minutes more tolerable. You did none of those things. Your parents were there and you had avoided embarrassing them all your life.

The guilt was eating you up, wrapping around all your organs and squeezing, hissing, and calling for your attention, not letting you forget. You had done nothing. If someone had touched your hybrids like that you would have cut their hands off. But that hadn’t been your hybrid, it hadn’t been your place. It hadn’t been your place like it hadn’t been your place to adopt Jin and go against his owner, like it hadn’t been your place to get involved with Namjoon’s pack or Yoongi and Hoseok for that matter. Maybe you had been tricking yourself all along, hiding your selfishness and fear behind the pretense of “not my place”.

Your mother was wrong, you hadn’t been looking for company when you and Jacob broke up. On the contrary, you disregarded everything except work, distancing yourself from all of your friends. It was easy with how busy you were at the time. You would have continued hiding in the Castle and spent your break alone if you hadn’t asked John to stop the car that night. They were what you didn’t know you needed. You had to stop being alone first to realize how lonely you had been.

You couldn’t go back to living like that, waking up and returning to an empty house, having no warm meal and warmer hugs waiting for you. That’s what your life had been like for the longest time and you wondered how you used to live like that. The hybrids were so tangled up in your life you couldn’t find where each thread ended or started. They merged and divided, connecting you all in ways you couldn’t describe.

Taylor had asked you about any crushes when you had been in Virginia, everyone was expecting you to find a new boyfriend after six months or at least start dating but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. No one had piqued your interest and it wasn’t for lack of meeting new people. It would feel wrong going on a date with someone when the hybrids were waiting for you back home. And that’s where the problem was; it shouldn’t feel wrong. Many people who had hybrids went on dates, couples adopted hybrids together and it should be like that for you. But it wasn’t.

Overthinking was one of your talents and you had avoided like you were being chased by wild dogs. You weren’t one to simply go with the flow but Namjoon’s lips on your own had changed your mind. You were too afraid of losing that that you hadn’t allowed yourself to analyze what you were doing, what that meant for you. Namjoon was your hybrid, you may not act like it or think of him like that but you were his owner in the papers. And it wasn’t only Namjoon, the way you cared about the hybrids was different from the way you felt about anyone else. It was all-consuming and too bright. You felt more for them than you had ever felt about Jacob and that was dangerous.

You excused yourself from the event as soon as it was proper for you to do so. Tomorrow morning you had to wake up early for work and you couldn’t stay late into the night. It was true but not the reason you left. Your mother hugged you and thanked you for coming, inviting you once again to their house in New York. She had been inviting you every time you met and you hadn’t once been to their house.

The window of the limousine was cold against your cheek, your foundation staining the glass. Maybe your mother wasn’t that wrong. You didn’t dare put a name to your feelings but you couldn’t deny that they were there. Were you really that lonely that your mind was playing tricks on you? Groaning, you knocked your head against the glass, hard enough to hear a small thud. You shouldn’t be thinking of them like that, it was wrong, so wrong.

Was it the way the world viewed hybrids messing with you, bleeding into your subconscious? They were presented as the answer to any and all desires, transformed into wet dreams. The media had the power to influence behaviors and thoughts little by little without the person noticing. You had thought you were too clever to fall victim to their molded reality. You knocked your head against the glass again, the driver must have been thinking you were crazy.

The limousine parked in front of the Castle. On other nights the lights would have been turned off by now but tonight they were all shinning, welcoming you home. You fished your keys out of your bag and unlocked the door. The lights were on in the living room in the lowest setting.

“Welcome.” You jumped, almost tumbling to the floor at being startled while taking off your heels.

“Every. Single. Time.” Namjoon laughed quietly. “How do you do this every single time?”

“I was already here, I couldn’t make any more noise.” He got up from the couch, extending a hand to you. You took it and he guided you to the couch. “Did you have a good time?”

The dress wrinkled as you pulled one foot under you but you couldn’t care less. “It was… bearable. I didn’t-” You let your head fall on the back of the couch. Seeing Namjoon up close after the night you had, looking at you with soft eyes like you held the sky in the palm of your hand, everything was coming back. What were you doing here? Your heart shouldn’t be racing like that when you were thinking about the wolf hybrid, your hands shouldn’t be itching to touch him.

“You’re here now, you can relax,” he said trailing his hand from your arm to your shoulder and up your neck. Goosebumps raised on your bare skin. “You’re home.” His breath tickled your face, his lips were so close and you wanted, you wanted… You pushed him back.

“I should go take off my makeup. I’m exhausted.”

Namjoon frowned but he didn’t question you. “Okay,” he said softly. “Your bed must be calling your name.”

“It is,” you said slipping away from him. The absence of his touch left a void inside you. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

You went to your room with a heavy heart, leaving Namjoon alone in the living room.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

You found the offending magazine in a store close to the studios. Copies of it filled a whole stand. The cover was a photo of you with Jin and Jimin in front of the waffle place the day you had taken them with you to the table-reading. It really was front-page news.

In A Stunning Display of Power And Wealth Y/N Y/L/N Adopts Four Hybrids

Straight to the point, every word chosen precisely to attract attention. A display of power and wealth. Of course, that’s what sold copies. That’s what people wanted to read; how one of the richest and most famous directors of your generation was showing off their wealth and power. Hybrids continued to be a sign of money. To adopt four hybrids meant you were crazy rich, but people already knew that when similar headlines had swept all tabloids just a year ago, brought on by the outrageous purchase of the Castle.

Four pages were dedicated to you and your hybrids, completed with more photos of the same day and quotes from “insider sources”. You closed the magazine and went to the counter. The cashier scanned it without glancing at your face, which saved you some trouble. You almost thought you would have to re-enact the comedic scene of the cashier looking at the magazine, then at you, then back at the magazine, then back at you like a robot that had stopped working. You shoved the magazine in your bag, self-conscious of anyone seeing it on you, and went back to the studios.

Filming would begin very soon, which meant you were swamped with work. Everything had to be perfect because that’s the kind of director you were. A perfectionist. If it also gave you an excuse not to think about the hybrids and all of the implications of the flutter of your heart when you were with them, you weren’t complaining. And if you were a little more distant, that could easily be attributed to your work too.

Sleepless nights became too common, your head was too loud and Jimin laying next to you only made it louder.

Filming started and your schedule changed. Most days you still woke up early and returned late at night, but because each scene required a specific time of the day there were nights you came back hours after midnight. You had promised the hybrids you would take them with you on set but every morning you got in the car alone.

Fourth day of filming and unexpected rain forced you to cancel the outside shooting. You only had outside filming that day. You rushed to make adjustments and switch to scenes that could be filmed inside the studios. The crew would need time to prepare everything for the filming so you had been left with the morning off.

You unlocked the door, hiding inside the house from the rain. It hadn’t rained like that in a long time. The heavens had opened up and the rain refused to stop coming down like it was determined to turn Los Angeles into a gigantic lake. Your shoes left puddles wherever you stepped, you would have to mop the floors later. You took them off and placed them by the door. They had suffered the most, the rest of yourself was relatively dry with the exception of the lower part of your pants.

No one was attacking you with hugs as you closed the umbrella someone from the staff had handed you, the hybrids mustn’t have heard you coming in. If they had heard you, you would have had an armful of Jimin and Jungkook by now.

“Oh, hey Yoongi,” you greeted the panther hybrid coming out of the kitchen. Your tactic with Yoongi was to act like you were talking to someone who didn’t strongly dislike you. The scowls and the sneers had decreased turning into a plastic sort of indifference and that’s what made you pause. His scowl could cut you like a knife. “Are you alright?”

Yoongi stalked past you. “What are doing back?” he asked harshly.

You were taken aback for a moment. He hadn’t spoken like that to you since before you had left for Virginia. “I have the morning off because of the rain. Did something happen here?”

“Why do you care?” Yoongi stood by the staircase, his black tail unmoving behind him.

“Why would I not care?” you shot back. The rain had already ruined your plans for the day and caused you enough stress to last you for a few more, you didn’t have enough energy to deal with Yoongi. “Seriously, what happened? Is Hoseok alright?”

A low growl vibrated through the room, you almost took a step back at the threatening sound. “Don’t you speak his name. Was caring for him another way to make you feel powerful? Is this some kind of sick way for you to gain power over someone?”

You were too tired to handle this delicately as you should, you recognized that and proceeded to ignore it. “What the hell is this about? I just came back from work.”

Yoongi scoffed, it was an ugly sound. “Because you have brainwashed everyone else, don’t think I don’t see you for who you are. Have you sold our story yet? About how you saved Hoseok and nursed him back to health? I am sure that will sell many magazines. Show them all how all-powerful you are.”

Through the haze of the day, the words started to click. “You found the magazine.”

“You didn’t try to hide it.” You couldn’t remember where you had left it, it had probably ended up in the stack of magazines under the living room table. “I knew no one would take four hybrids in out of the goodness of their hearts. Did it work? Was it worth it or are you already getting bored? Maybe you should adopt a couple more. Make more headlines.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” you gritted out.

“That’s what you’d like to think,” Yoongi sneered. “All of you are the same. Hiding in your mansions and looking for the next chance to brandish your name. It’s a constant chase of power and standing, isn’t it? And you’ll use anyone you’ll find in your way to climb higher. I know how it is. You can’t fool me. I’ve been dealing with people like you for years!”

Your pants and your wet socks were sticking uncomfortably to your skin. Your head was buzzing. It hurt because that’s everything you had been trying to avoid. Everything you had promised yourself not to become. Everything you had criticized your parents and their circle for. You weren’t like them. You had never been like them.

“You don’t know me, don’t pretend you do,” you said forcefully. “Do you really think that’s how magazines work? I just call them and tell them I want them to write about me? Put me on the front cover? That’s not it. Even if it was, why would I do that? I couldn’t care less about the power-plays you’re talking about. I’m a director and my work speaks for itself. I don’t need magazines to brandish my name because my movies and my shows are more than enough. The paparazzi saw the chance and they took it. Their goal is to sell and their headlines showcase exactly that; what people would buy. I never hid the fact that I adopted hybrids but I wasn’t flaunting it to the media either.”

“Why should I believe you?” Yoongi growled.

You sighed, a sound full of frustration. “Frankly, I don’t see what else I could do to make you believe me! I tended to Hoseok. I didn’t ask any questions. I tried hard not to cross any boundaries and to make you feel welcome. What more do you want me to do?”

“Nothing,” Yoongi said simply. “Nothing you do can change my mind.”

It was like a stone dropped in the pit of your stomach. You shouldn’t have expected anything else. Yoongi had been through a lot, that much was clear, but it was unfair that he was taking out everything on you. You were paying for the scars other humans had inflicted on him.

“I’m not who you think I am.”

“You don’t know what I think.”

“It’s pretty clear,” you muttered. “Alright, I can’t change your mind, I won’t even try. I know how to pick my battles. But if you really despise me so much then why bother? Nothing you say will change anything. Are you trying to uncover some hidden truth about me and how evil I am? Then what?”

The fur on Yoongi’s tail and ears stood on end. “I don’t care. I don’t care about you, about what you have done and what you will do as long as we’re gone from here. I don’t care for your charity or your pity. Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted to be here in the first place?”

You swallowed, willing your heart rate to calm down. “Then tell Hoseok and Jimin yourself. The keys are by the door.”

You didn’t wait for Yoongi to say anything else, turning around and locking yourself in your room. You laid down on your bed, your hands gripping your hair. The exhaustion this time was beyond physical, beyond mental. Your hands retreated from your hair, sliding down your cheeks. Your fingers were wet.

Later when Jimin and Jungkook knocked on the door, you had to open the door or risk worrying them. They jumped on the bed and snuggled close to you. You held your phone waiting for the call to go to the studios.

You didn’t face any new problems with filming. The actors were all incredible, seemingly one with their characters. You did a lot of filming at 300 Fox Way, the psychic’s house with its mystic aura and weirdly compelling assortment of objects. You instructed the actors, talked with the crew, and analyzed the script down to each comma. Focusing on anything other than Yoongi’s words and your hybrids had turned into an art form.

The sleepless nights didn’t cease, you and the moonlight had become good friends. Jimin’s visits to your room thinned out. He had noticed you pulling away. You didn’t hug him anymore or kissed his forehead before falling asleep, you couldn’t come to terms with doing that after everything that had happened. You had thought that maybe you would sleep better alone but that had been proved false soon after.

You got out of bed for the fourth night in a row. Every position was uncomfortable. Keeping your steps light you left the room. The large house was eerie at night, the living room area with its glass walls looked endless, combining the actual living room, the dining room, and what the real estate agents had called the family room that was really just another living room.

You couldn’t stay in your room on nights like these, it was too contained. The night air on your skin sent shivers down your frame as you walked out on the balcony. It was two days before the full moon and its glow illuminated the world.

What had you gotten yourself into? You wished you could go back to that morning and decline your mother’s invitation to the gala. Maybe, just maybe, then you would be able to sleep, your head wouldn’t be fighting you at every turn, at every chance.

Little pieces of moonlight shimmered and danced on the lake. The calmness of the world was a stark contrast to the mess in your head. You remembered how Jungkook had looked at the lake in awe that very first night, you had noticed then that he looked at Jimin the same way. You wondered how you looked at them and if anyone had noticed.

The moon had no answers for you.

Two golden eyes were looking up at you from the garden, they shone like the fires that had been extinguished earlier. Namjoon tilted his head, inviting you down. A weird sense of deja vu took over. You had lived something very similar before, a night that had changed so much.

You shouldn’t go. You should stay where you were, alone and safe, away from fluttering heartbeats and dangerous warmth. But the night had its way of calling out the risky nature of people. The thrill was so much more enticing when darkness ruled.

Climbing down the stairs, you kept your steps quiet. You never knew which sound would wake up the hybrids. Namjoon was standing by the flower bushes close to the curtain of vines that lead into the forest. He was wearing a dark blue pair of pajama pants and a simple black T-shirt.

“What are you doing awake so late?” you whispered, like everything around you had ears.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

You shook your head. “I have trouble sleeping, remember?”

Namjoon had caught you a few times wandering the house at night, he was the only one who knew that a lot of nights sleep didn’t come to you willingly. His own nightly adventures were more complicated.

“Why are you awake?” you asked him again. “Please don’t tell me you smelled distress or something again or I’ll freak.”

Namjoon chuckled, you had missed it. Keeping your distance meant you only saw them for barely two hours every day. They all tried to not make too much noise with you in the constant mood of ‘tired and gloomy’.

“No, that’s not it.” He looked up, over the trees. “It’s the full moon.”

“You have to be kidding me. Do you turn into a wolf too?”

Namjoon raised his hands in surrender, his dimples on full display. “I’m joking, I’m joking. I couldn’t sleep either and I like being outside at night like this. It’s peaceful.”

You couldn’t disagree with that. There was something alluring about the quiet of the night. You would describe yourself more as a morning person than a night owl but both of them were true, waking up early for work then staying up late for it too.

“Are you alright?” The smile had fallen from his lips.

You squirmed under the intensity of his gaze. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Filming takes a lot out of me.”

Namjoon sighed. “Are you sure that’s all there is? You have been acting differently, did you think we wouldn’t notice?”

You knew they would notice but you had hoped they would think it was because of your work. Work did take a lot out of you but it also used to be the reason you were so much happier returning home.

“It has been going on for too long. You don’t spend any time outside your room or your office if it isn’t to eat. You are avoiding us. Jimin and Jungkook stopped scenting you because they think they’re making you uncomfortable.”

“It isn’t- They aren’t making me uncomfortable. I’m just tired from work and I don’t-” you tried to deny it but you fell short of excuses.

“You were working before too, but it wasn’t like this,” he pointed out. “You were tired then too. Some nights you came back and I could smell the exhaustion around you like a disease. But you smiled when Jimin and Jungkook ran up to you and didn’t let you go, you laughed at Jin laughing at his own jokes. You came to me when it got too loud here.” He pointed to your head.

“We weren’t filming then.” It was a weak attempt but you had to make it.

Namjoon regarded you carefully. Beams of moonlight got tangled in his gray hair turning it silver. He looked at home right there at that moment, close to the trees with the moon shining on him. He was every bit of magic you had ever witnessed.

“This started before filming did. I knew there was something wrong when you came back from the gala. Something happened there,” Namjoon concluded. “I should have come with you.”

You shook your head vigorously. Imagining him next to you while your mother spoke about hybrids like that was torture. “No, you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have been with me.” You paused to compose yourself. “It wasn’t good, it was really bad actually. It wasn’t the gala itself, there some interesting people and… My mother…” You took a deep breath. “I don’t think I like my parents very much,” you admitted.

It was hard to say after years of half-hearted attempts at mending your relationship with them. All those years apart you had become very different people. You had trouble remembering what they were like before they left you in your aunt’s care. You couldn’t see any traces of them in yourself, you didn’t enjoy what they enjoyed, your interests and priorities, the way you viewed the world were very different.

In the past few days, you had grown to hate your mother’s voice in your head but you had a feeling that it had been much longer than that. The only difference was that before, you had been able to ignore it.

Namjoon came closer, his hand touching your palm waiting for you to make the first move. You took his hand in yours, laying your head on his chest. “That’s alright. You don’t have to like them, no one is forcing you to.”

“But they are my parents.”

He stroked your back gently. “It doesn’t matter, that isn’t enough of a reason.”

“They aren’t bad people.”

“They don’t need to be bad people for you to dislike them.”

You stayed like that for a few moments, taking in his presence. You had missed being in his arms so much, like an ache that couldn’t go away.

He stopped stroking your back, cupping your cheek and pulling back so you were facing each other. “I’m always here for you. I don’t care about anything else but seeing you happy. I’m here.”

“I missed you,” you admitted like it was a secret.

Namjoon smiled softly. “I missed you too.” His thumb caressed your lower lip. There was a tingling sensation all over your skin. “Can I?” he asked just like the very first time.

You let out a shuddering breath. “Should we be doing this?”

“Do you want to?” he asked carefully.

You bit your lip before nodding. He leaned down connecting your lips. It was soft and careful, all the longing and hurt of the past days poured into the kiss. You pulled him closer and he came willingly. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

An awful laugh cut through the night. You pulled away from Namjoon like you had been burnt. Yoongi was one with the night, dark like a shadow.

“So this is it? Is this why you adopted them all? So you can have your pick when you’re in the mood?” The expression on his face was cruel, twisted up in disgust.

Namjoon growled, his sharp canines shinning in the moonlight. In that moment, Namjoon looked more dangerous than ever before. “Shut your mouth.”

“I see she has turned you into her dog. How long did it take to tame you?”

You held Namjoon back before he could lunge at the panther. You were afraid that if you let him go, there would blood on their clothes. “Don’t.”

Yoongi took a tense step forward. “That’s right, listen to your owner. Is that what she has turned all of you into? Her toys? Just for a roof over your head and food?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Namjoon growled. “Don’t you dare talk about her like that. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

Yoongi clenched his fists. There was anger and something else you couldn’t see in the night amidst your panic. “I knew it. I knew no one did what you did without any kind of agenda. Seems like the magazine was right, at least in part. You can’t fool me, even if you managed to fool everyone else.”

With that he was gone, like he was never there.

You couldn’t breathe. Your hand was still wrapped around Namjoon’s wrist and you couldn’t breathe. You counted in your head. One, two, three…

When Namjoon tried to touch your shoulder, you pulled away. “I’m going back to my room,” you said. Your voice sounded shaky to your own ears. Namjoon called out to you but you didn’t stop. He didn’t try to touch you again.

Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing

#btscreatorscorner #castlebangtan #bts #bts hybrid au #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jimin x reader #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #taehyung x reader #poly!bts #poly!bts x reader #bts poly au #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts hurt/comfort

2K notes · View notes

finelinevogue · 3 years

Note

hiii idk if ur comfortable doing this but im recovering from one and it would mean the world but could you do one where the reader has/had an eating disorder and when eating harry just kinda comforts her because he knows its harder to eat etc (i hope u get what i mean :( )

hi! hope you’re having a lovely day! first of all i am really proud of you and you in turn should be really proud of yourself! this one is especially for you, for me and for anyone who is going through or recovering from an ED. please read whenever you feel comfortable in doing so and that’s okay if today is not that day <333 love you

It was a bad day.

Not very often do you have them anymore, but when you do have them you feel as though you will never be good enough and that things will never get better.

When you were younger you developed an eating disorder, but never used to see it as being a problem. It started off as not snacking as often as you used to, specifically cutting out sugar and fat from your diet completely. Over time it grew to not having lunch, breakfast or dinner and then all three altogether. Your stomach shrunk and you kept your stomach tide over with water - at least that had no calories. The pains in your stomach became normal, but the pain against your heart was so much worse.

Because people began to notice.

It would be a small comment like “you look like you’ve lost weight” or “you’re all but skin and bone”, but it would make you realise, just for a minute, that maybe what you were doing to yourself was more significant than you first thought. But you continued, because you had to be enough. You wanted that flat stomach. You wanted that thigh gap. You wanted to be the skinny girl that could be picked up. You wanted to fit in clothes less than a size 10. You wanted to be able to be confident in showing more skin. You just wanted to feel beautiful - be pretty.

It wasn’t until Harry came into your life that things started to change. He didn’t make any comments about your weight, ever, but only encouraged you to do what felt right to you. When you asked him to help you find a therapist, because you finally had someone to support you through it all, he was ready with his laptop and notebook. When you asked him to make a slightly bigger portion for you today, he would make his the same size so you didn’t feel like you were being greedy. He was your equal. When you asked him whether he loved you he never responded with words, but actions. Kisses. Sex. Chocolate. Flowers. Soapy baths. Nail painting. Hand holding. Cuddling. It was a surprise each time as to what he would do, but it showed you how much he really did love you.

Since being with Harry he had guided you through putting on weight, with the aid of your therapist and your fitness coach too. You had come so far, even with still a long way to go, and for that Harry was forever proud of you.

Harry is proud of you.

Some days it was hard to believe that though. Some days you slipped. Some days that dark cloud reminded you of all the negative things you once believed about yourself. Some days were like today.

“Y/N i’m home!” Harry called through your shared apartment.

You were still in bed. He’d left you this morning to go record some stuff in the studio, silently kissing your forehead goodbye as you slept still. Today was a day where you reminded yourself of all the bad thoughts you used to think about secondly. Today you couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed and go eat, but scroll through models instagrams and pick out all the things you wished you had instead of them. Kendall Jenners figure. Kaia Gerber’s youth. Gigi Hadid’s eyes. The list was endless.

The only time you’d gotten yourself of bed had been to go to the toilet. You had thought about intentionally making yourself sick, a deadly habit that you’d worked hard to overcome, but with much strain, tears and a shout at yourself in the mirror you managed to walk away.

“Baby?” Harry called out again, but your throat was so dry that he hadn’t heard you call out that you were in the bedroom.

When he walked through the bedroom he instantly knew it had been a bad day. You were tucked up underneath all the covers, with tear marks staining your face and the hood, of his Green Bay Packers hoodie, pulled up over your head. You chewed on the strings of his hoodie, a sign that you were physically hungry but your brain wasn’t allowing you to process that you were.

“Harry?” Your voiced rasped out, turning to see his beautiful, glowing, face.

“It’s alright lovie, let it out. I’m right here, you’re okay.” He cooed, immediately climbing into bed next to you so that he was facing you. He took the strings out of your mouth and traced his finger over your bottom lip, leaning in for a quick kiss. It was his way of letting you know he was here with you.

“I-i’m sorry.” You whimpered, your bottom lip trembling.

“Wait one minute lovie,” Harry shot up out of bed, leaving you confused as to what he was doing, but when he came back with a tall glass of water your eyes watered over with admiration for him, “just sit up and take a sip of this for me baby.”

You nodded wearily and took a few gulps of the water, finding pleasure in the way it quenched the thirst in the back of your throat.

“Thank you.” You smiled, handing him back the glass half-full.

“And thank you.” He replied, kissing your forehead softly. “Was it a tough day?”

Harry leaned back against the headboard and brought you to lay on top of him, your head against his chest. It was comforting to hear his heart beat the same rhythm as yours. He pulled the hood down so he could tangle his fingers through your hair - a comforting method he’d come to know you loved.

“Just felt really bad this morning and then I wanted to so badly go make myself sick,” you felt Harry tense up a little at your words, “but I didn’t and now I feel really angry and frustrated about it. I just… oh I don’t know H.” Your words deflated.

“Baby listen to me, you made it through the day! That may not seem like an achievement but is fucking is! You did so great and I couldn’t be prouder of you. Really truly.”

You moved your head to look up at him, a glimmer of hope in his eyes that he was breaking through to you.

“Just didn’t feel good enough today to eat.” You swallowed the lump back in your throat.

“That’s okay if you didn’t eat, but I won’t let you a second more of today thinking you aren’t good enough because you are worth so much more than that. You are worth the stars and more. I love you more and more every day and i’m proud to have you mine.” His words were the most comforting you’d heard yet.

“Stars?” You questioned for some silly reason.

“And moons and planets and galaxies. I wish you could see that, baby.” He kissed you on your forehead again, letting his lips linger a little longer this time. “You don’t have to feel bad or apologise for today, because I know you’ll love yourself tomorrow.”

“How?”

“Because you’re stronger than you know. Today isn’t defeat, it’s just a pause for what tomorrow is going to be.” He hugged you tighter, squishing you to make you feel his love.

“And what is tomorrow going to be?”

“Better.”

And that was exactly it. Tomorrow didn’t have to be perfect, and today didn’t have to either, just as long as it was better. Not best; better. It was all about small steps and learning that it’s not all about leaps of faith. It was about learning to love yourself, by yourself. It was about being okay with the bad days, because you know you’ll have fucking amazing days to make up for it. It’s just about making those days that bit more amazing - that bit better.

513 notes · View notes

yunopouts · 3 years

Text

photograph - n. jaemin

gif does not belong to me!

-> era: boom era! jaemin

-> pairing: photography major!jaemin x college-student girlfriend!reader

-> genre: PWP (if you squint)

-> warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f and m receiving), jaemin takes pictures while he's fucking you :P, praise kink, overstimulation, creampie, cum eating

-> word count: 2.56k

-> a/n: gonna say this AGAIN because it's important!!! everything that goes down in this fic is consensual between the reader and jaemin. it would be terrifying if it weren’t. please, whenever you are having sex, make sure that you and your partner have consented to everything that goes on in the bedroom; if something has happened that was not, please report it to someone, an authoritative figure, your best friend. just tell someone, because you are not alone and you do not have to go through that alone.

-> tags: @idkwhattotypeinhere (because you commented)

THANKS FOR 823 FOLLOWERS LOL, HERE'S YOUR PRESENT

“You’re willing to pose nude for me?” Jaemin asked a little too loudly for your liking.

“Lower your voice, will you?” you hissed, glancing around the crowded library.

“Sorry,” he whispered, his lip jutting out to form the tiniest pout- but it was gone as fast as it came. “You really wanna pose nude for me?” he wiggled his brows, his leg grazing yours from under the table.

“Only if you’re okay with it.” You sat back in the hard plastic chair, kind of regretting that you brought it up.

You love Jaemin with all your heart, and you have no problem being his model. You found it endearing whenever he asks, quite honestly. But knowing how much of a horn dog he becomes if he gets even a glance at you in a bikini- you have some hesitation saying yes.

“Of course I’m okay with it! I love seeing you naked.” He said with a loving smile. You coughed as you sipped your water, but his expression remained the same. “What? I do.” He shrugged lightly before taking a drink from his own water.

“Okay, just tell me when you decide the time and where you’re doing this. I don’t wanna do it at home, that’d be weird.” you shuddered.

Jaemin’s stomach did flips as excitement coursed through his veins. He’d been wanting to do this with you for a while- and now that he finally got an ‘abstract’ assignment from his photography class, he figured this was the perfect time to ask. His mind flashed him images of you that were definitely not family friendly, but they absolutely made him even more eager to start this ‘project’.

You watched the different emotions swirl around his irises while he stared at you with great intent. His dark eyes settled on a bone chilling look as he leaned forward, taking your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, the way princes do when they greet their princess. The sudden atmosphere change made your head spin, every move the male made grew more sensual than the ones prior.

“Tomorrow; my studio;” he spoke slowly, the way he does when he’s planning on doing something lustful to you. You tried to pull your hand away, worrying about the other students around you, but with just one sharp glance from Jaemin, your hand relaxed- ultimately submitting to him. “Why don’t we do an evening shoot, get that glowing effect of the sun right before it sets. Maybe have a cute little midnight date?” he tilted his head, giving you time to answer.

Your slow nod earned a sly grin from Jaemin, who was twirling the rings on your fingers.

“Good, see you around… let’s say, seven-thirty?” you stayed silent and nodded once again. Gently putting your hand down, Jaemin stood out of his chair and leaned over the table to kiss you quickly on the cheek. “Oh and y/n?” You looked up at the boy who was adjusting the camera bag that slung over his shoulder. “I’ll be using that reward tomorrow.” he stated before casually walking out of the library.

Your body stilled and your mouth went dry.

That reward.

It took you five minutes- five whole minutes just to recuperate from that one sentence. And the way he said it, it really irked you. Not in a bad way- it just left you feeling slightly unsettled.

‘I’ll be using that reward tomorrow.’

“I thought he’d forget.” you muttered to yourself as you bent down to tie your shoelace.

But alas, Jaemin never forgets anything- especially when it comes to sex. That man is like a giant picture album but with an index that tells you the exact place, date, time and the position he had you in when he was fucking you.

Shaking your head to rid it of its dirty thoughts, you looked at yourself in the mirror before you walked out of your dorm. Checking the time, you had just over forty minutes to get to a destination that was only fifteen minutes away, you decided to walk over- which helped you avoid the traffic that you were presented with when you walked out the condo’s main entrance.

It took all your brain power not to think about the reward, but it was inevitable. You imagined the way he would stand above you, snapping a picture of you while one of your fingers slipped into your panties to feel your arousal. Zooming the lense in as you plunged a finger or two into your hole.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice pulled you out of your trance. You were greeted by a smiling Jaemin, who was carrying a few bags overflowing with what looked like bed sheets. “You’re a little early, aren’t you?” you stepped inwards, giving him a small peck on his lips.

“Just wanted to help set everything up.” you took a bag, looking back at Jaemin, who was still behind you.

“Oh, well thanks.” he bumped your hip before jogging up to the doors and unlocking it. You giggled at his childish antic as you caught up with him between the open doors. The metal pieces were loud as they clanged behind you, swinging shut since they lost the force of Jaemin holding them open.

Your boyfriend led you around a corner before opening another door, which brought you into the studio.

It was large, filled with windows and had black wooden floors. There was a long plastic table in the back with a few monitors on it, wires flying everywhere from behind them. The white background was already set up with a mattress in front of it. There were no sheets on it yet, which explained the bag full of them.

“Babe, could you grab that.” the boy pointed to a stand, most likely for the strobe. When you handed it to him, your hand lingered a little longer than it should’ve. Gulping, you stared at his enclosed hand while he stared at you. “Sweetheart, you gotta let go of the stand so I can set up the strobe.” You mumbled a soft ‘sorry’ and awkwardly retracted your hand off the metal pole. “Don’t be so nervous, I’ve seen you naked plenty of times.”

“You’re not helping.”

You heard your boyfriend let out a sigh and steps stalking towards you. You slowly turned to face him when he placed his hand on your hips.

“You, little missy, are so beautiful.” he pressed his index finger into the centre of your chest. “Your body is so gorgeous. And if you’re worried about people recognizing you? Don’t worry, I can fix that. I’m a photography major after all, aren’t I?” His last words made you chuckle as he pulled you in for a soft kiss.

“Now go get ready, hm?” he winked before leaving you to finish with the technical things. There was already a small curtain that you could change behind and you did just that, calling out to your boyfriend once you’d finished.

He threw a silk sheet at you and told you to wrap it around your body. You walked out with the thin fabric and sat down on the now sheeted mattress.

“Could you move up a little, for me?” you followed his instruction and adjusted the silk as well. It covered your breasts and your heat, but that didn’t stop Jaemin’s imagination from running wild.

With every click of the camera, he imagined sharply thrusting his cock deep into you, far enough to reach your cervix. Your moans filled his head as he moved around to different angles, directing you to move the sheet over to cover other parts of the magnificent body that was going to be writhing under him soon enough.

Time passed and with a painfully hard dick, Jaemin had finally had the perfect amount of photos of his favourite thing on earth. Standing up straight, he set the camera down before stretching his upper body. Checking the watch on his wrist, the time now was ten thirty. The time had finally come.

“Y/n.” he turned towards you.

Just like yesterday, his aura changed within seconds. His happy, fairy like mood swarmed into a dark, and monstrous one. His authoritative tone made you want to sink deep into the mattress, but you knew that couldn’t happen- so you waited for his next moves. He appeared in front of you, gripping his phone tightly. Your hands flew to the button of his pants, but he stopped you.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? We don’t have to go through with it if you don’t want to.” Jaemin tilted your chin up with one of his fingers.

“I’m the one who came up with the idea.” your boyfriend scoffed and let you go, allowing you full access to his jeans. You stared at the tent in his pants, a large dark spot that was off to the side catching your eye. Leaning forward, you place a soft kiss to his clothed tip. It was the smallest action and yet a loud groan still escaped from Jaemin’s mouth.

Your fingers hooked around the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down, along with pants. He stepped out of them and you cast them aside somewhere before focusing your attention back on to the throbbing cock in front of you.

Gently taking it in your hands, you licked the tip, tasting the precum. As you wrapped your lips around his dick, Jaemin guided you with one of his hands on the back of your head as the other angled his phone above you, clicking the button. It was strange, but you felt something leak down the side of your thigh.

“Just like that, fuck, you look so hot.” his voice became strained as you took him even deeper into your throat. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked harder to the point where the male felt like he had a suction cup around his dick. “Fuck, you’re doing so well, baby.” he growled. Whatever else of his length you couldn’t take in your mouth, your hands worked on- moving in circular motions. Your pace grew faster and Jaemin knotted his fingers in your hair, pulling back as his body jerked, cumming in your mouth. The warmth of his seed traveled down your throat as you swallowed everything he gave you.

“What a good girl you are.” Jaemin hummed, pulling you off him and pushing you down on the plush mattress. “You even ate my cum; don’t you think you deserve a reward too?” you nodded silently, but your boyfriend didn’t accept the answer. “Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Y-yes please.” you mumbled, looking away from him. Chuckling, Jaemin hovered over you and placed a light kiss on your ear; then on your jaw and then down your neck. He continued pecking and biting at your skin while he teased you, the tip of his cock sliding up and down your slit. “Jaemin,” you whined, bucking your hips to meet his cock better.

“Well if you want it that badly;” Jaemin stood on his knees, and pushed into you with a sharp thrust that had you screaming. The male’s head fell back, your pussy extra tight since neither you or him had fingered your hole. He let you adjust to him, trying hard not to move; but when you gave him the green light, the boy bottomed out, forcing you to gasp.

His first few movements were slow, until they gradually became faster. You grabbed at anything and everything, Jaemin’s forearms, his neck, his cheeks, his back- any available space you could claw your nails into, you did. In your mind you apologized for the marks you gave him, but in reality, Jaemin didn’t mind. He liked the scratches on his face cause it reminds him how good of a fucking he gave you.

“You’re pussy’s so wet and it’s all for me.” he purred. His shaggy blond hair fell in front of his eyes, blocking your view of him and you from his. You pushed his hair back and pulled him to you, enveloping your lips in a kiss as he fucked deeply into you. It was messy, teeth biting at each other’s lips, tongues swirling around in each other’s mouths.

Jaemin cursed loudly, making his way on to his knees again and bent your legs over his shoulder. “You’re doing so well, taking my cock- and especially in this position.” his wet lips grazed the skin on your calf, the cold saliva sending shivers down your spine. “Fuck, I don’t know how you do it. Your pussy is so fucking tight.”

“Jaem, gonna… shit!” your words were broken but he got the message, his hips moved faster to get the both of you to reach your orgasms. His cum painted the walls of your heat white as he came inside you. You clenched around him as his cock twitched for the second time. “More…” you said a few seconds later, coming down from your high. “more.” you whined, getting up and switching your positions, so that you could look down on him.

With a cheshire grin, Jaemin watched as you sunk down on his [still very hard] cock, enjoying how the cum dripped out and down from your pussy and on to his dick. He giggled to himself as he placed his thumb on your clit, earning a jumble of swear words from you. With his other hand, he swiped his phone open and clicked the button. You moaned loudly when you heard the shutter of the camera, turning you on even more- if that were possible.

“Somebody really likes being photographed.” Jaemin bit his lip. “Wanna be my own model? Want me to take pictures of you every time we fuck? Wanna remember how my cum drips out of your tight little pussy?” you let out an incoherent whine as you bounced on his dick. More pictures were taken as his thumb continued to ruin your clit. The pressure of Jaemin’s finger and the tightness of your clenched pussy made you both cum instantly.

“Babe,” Jaemin sighed tiredly. “You’re gonna break my dick.” you let out a breathless laugh, apologizing for how you flopped backwards without getting off of him.

For the last time, Jaemin switched his position and sat with his nose inches away from your clit.

“What are you doing- oh shit.” you cried as you felt a warm tongue on your abused nub. “Fuck Jaemin that feels so good.” you felt tears prick your dry eyes as you squeezed them shut, squirming around under your boyfriend's touch. Your folds were slick with a mixture of his cum and yours, and now his saliva as he ate you out like it was his last meal.

As his tongue darted in and out of your hole, pleasure rolled over your body as you came for the third time that night. Your chest heaved up and down, trying to catch your breath as Jaemin crawled up to tower above you. When he kissed you, you could taste his cum on his tongue, and you practically sucked it off.

“I think we just discovered a shared kink of ours.” he huffed from beside you.

“Shut up.” you lazily hit him in the chest and began laughing, Jaemin joining in too.

#jaemin smut #jaemin x reader #nct smut #nct dream smut #na jaemin #nct #nct dream

962 notes · View notes

blu-joons · 3 years

Text

When They Come Home And Find You Asleep On The Sofa ~ The Boyz Reaction

Sangyeon:

As soon as he saw you laid out across the sofa, Sangyeon’s serious side came out, approaching you quickly to try and move your body into a more comfortable position.

“You’re going to regret this in the morning,” he frowned, relaxing your limbs so they sat properly.

Under Sangyeon’s movement, your inquisitive eyes soon opened to see what was going on. “What are you doing?” You asked as his hands moved your leg up to the sofa.

“I’m taking care of you,” he smiled widely, tapping against your leg before letting go. “I can already predict that you’re going to be crying out for a massage in the morning.”

“What about now? My back feels like it’s been kicked to pieces.”

As angry as he was, Sangyeon couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why do you always do this to yourself?”

“I wanted to see you,” you mused, turning so that you were laying on your back, only to feel Sangyeon’s hands began to attack the small of it. “I was only joking about the massage.”

His head shook, ignoring what you had to say, “I know your back is hurting you, your face always gives it a way. Just a quick one, and then I’ll take you to actual bed.”

“You’re too good to me,” you complimented, pursing your lips together at the relief you felt under Sangyeon’s touch, running gently along the length of your back.

“You tried to stay up for me, this is the least I could do.”

Jacob:

The moment his eyes fell on you, his heart stopped, covering his mouth with his hand as a soft coo escaped at the way you snuggled up to one of the sofa cushions.

“Well, this is quite the dilemma,” he muttered, trying to figure out what to do with you on the sofa.

Jacob took a few steps forwards, moving a second cushion to your side for you to rest on. “I know how horrible you get whenever you get woken up from a nap.”

“But on the other hand, I know you’ll be angry at me tomorrow when all your bones hurt,” he sighed, “you’ve really left me in the middle of a losing battle.”

“Your too sleepy to even care about that though, aren’t you?”

His eyes looked to you once he’d finished rearranging. “Before you hate me, just know I love you.”

“Actually, I do love you a lot,” he continued to mumble, deciding to take a seat on the floor just beside your head. “I proper don’t tell you that enough really.”

His hand then moved across to run over the top of your head, “I hate seeing you sleep, because your so quiet, but it’s god to know that you’re getting rest too.”

“I should probably rest too,” he continued to chatter, staring at your sleeping figure, “but now I face the dilemma of deciding where to sleep too.”

“Jacob, do you plan on letting me get any sleep tonight?”

Younghoon:

His arms swept you up in an instant as Younghoon walked in to find you asleep on the sofa, keen to get you comfortable in bed as quickly as he possibly could.

“I keep telling you not to wait up for me,” he scolded, carrying you carefully up the stairs to bed.

As he reached the final step, your body slowly began to stir in his hold. “Hoon?” You muttered, moving your hand to rest against his chest, confirming it was him.

“Don’t worry, go back to sleep,” he simply assured you as he turned into your bedroom, “I wish you would’ve come straight up here when you started to get tired down there.”

“I wanted to stay up and see you, make sure you were alright.”

A gentle chuckle escaped him, “I’m alright, glad to be home and back with you at least now.”

“Tell me about your day,” you requested as you felt him lay your figure down on the bed, still unable to bring your eyes to open. “I want to hear all about it.”

Once he was sure you were settled, Younghoon stepped away, changing his shirt. “I promise I’ll tell you all about it in the morning when you’re a little more awake and attentive.”

“Give me a minute and I can wake up,” you called out, but the feeling of the duvet being thrown over your body quickly silenced you once again.

“Sleep, my stories can wait until tomorrow.”

Hyunjae:

As he knelt beside your face, Jaehyun couldn’t help but pull his phone out, knowing this was the perfect weapon to use against you at some point when he needed it.

“So cute,” he whispered as he opened up his camera, hearing you yelp as he pressed to snap.

Your hands covered your eyes as Jaehyun’s flash went off, noticing his wide eyes as he realised what had happened. “Please tell me you didn’t just take a photo of me.”

“I thought you looked cute, but also thought my flash wasn’t on either,” he confessed, quickly hiding his phone out of your reach, “your awake now anyway.”

“If I wasn’t so tired right now, I would beat you up for that.”

His head shook, resting his hand over yours. “How come you couldn’t stay up tonight for me?”

“I’m knackered,” you confessed, not even trying to be subtle. “My boss had been running around doing so much paperwork, if I even see a book, I’m going to lose my mind.”

He leant forwards pressing a kiss against the tip of your nose, “shall I carry you up to bed? At least you can get some proper rest up there?”

“As long as you do everything, I’m far too tired to move,” you requested of him, “and that includes deleting that picture that you just tried to take of me too.”

“Damn, I was hoping that would go in the payback album.”

Juyeon:

His heart skipped a beat as he walked in to see the ending screen of the stream of the concert still on your phone, with it dropped to the floor by the sofa.

“How did I know you’d be watching,” he smiled, picking your phone up and checking over it.

His hand pressed against your forehead, brushing the hair out of your face. As he did, a small hum came from you in response to his presence in the room with you.

“How are you doing?” He asked as you slowly came round, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. “I hope you didn’t fall asleep before our stage came on?”

“No, I managed to stay awake to at least watch that bit.”

His head shook at how exhausted you were, “shall I ask what you thought, or are you too tired?”

“It’s fine,” you whispered, slowly sitting yourself up to make room for Juyeon to sit beside you. “But you know that I’m always a big fan of all your shows anyway, that never changes.”

He carefully sat down, giving you the space that you needed to wake yourself up properly. “I’m glad you enjoyed the stage; you didn’t need to watch it though.”

“It doesn’t matter how tired I get, I always want to stay up and watch you perform,” you quickly assured him, “I am your biggest fan after all, remember?”

“Of course, how could I ever forget that?”

Kevin:

His smile grew as soon as he spotted you with your head resting into his jumper that he’d thrown on the sofa just before he left the house earlier that day.

“I knew you’d try and steal it,” he joked, taking a few steps closer to see you were in fact asleep.

He couldn’t believe it, sitting down beside your figure. “Your too stubborn for your own good,” he scolded, falling silent as your body shuffled and your eyes slowly opened.

“How dare you,” you spoke up, letting him know that you’d heard every word that he had to say to you. “I thought I’d be nice and stay up, and this is the thanks I get.”

“Well, you’ve hardly stayed up, have you? You were fast asleep.”

Your hand reached out to push gently against his chest, “it’s the thought that counts, so be quiet.”

“Now that I’m home, and your awake, shall we head up to bed?” Kevin suggested, but your head shook, gripping tighter onto his comfortable jumper that you’d been using for some time.”

Your hand hit him yet again as his eyes rolled. “You must be exhausted too, maybe we should just camp out on the sofa for the night,” you proposed, “you look a state.”

“Thanks a lot,” he teased, knowing that you were messing with him, “do I at least get my jumper to sleep with in case I get a little bit cold through the night.”

“No, this is mine now, you’re going to have to find another.”

New:

His arm snaked around your waist as Chanhee made himself comfortable behind your figure on the sofa. For a few moments, he managed to sleep, until you began to wake up.

“Chan?” You whispered, waiting until he hummed to know he was awake. “You can’t sleep here>”

His head shook back at you, “I can. You looked far too peaceful to even try and disturb you, and there was no way I was going to sleep upstairs knowing you were here.”

“But your body,” you whined, feeling the grip that he had wrapped around you tighten. “You’ll be in pieces tomorrow, and that’ll be all my fault too.”

“I decided to sleep on the sofa Y/N, none of this is your fault.”

Your eyes rolled at how argumentative he was, “let’s go up to bed at least now we’re both awake.”

“No,” he chuckled, making sure that you stayed where you were. “You’re comfortable, and so the last thing I want to do right now is even try and move you up from the sofa.”

Another groan escaped from you, “just know, when you show up at the studio tomorrow morning all sore, I am taking zero responsibility for all your aches and pains.”

“Deal,” he teased, pressing a kiss against the back of your head. “Now, close your eyes back up and get some rest, you need your beauty sleep for tomorrow.”

“As long as you get some rest too, and try not to hurt too much tomorrow.”

Just as Changmin took a step back, convinced that he’d managed to get you up to bed without waking you up, your eyes fluttered open, surprised as to where you were.

“What are you doing?” You questioned, just about managing to register that Changmin was there.

He moved back towards you, taking a tight hold of your hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, I just knew how mad you’d be if I left you on the sofa all night long.”

“I’m glad you moved me,” you assured him, moving along the bed to make space for him to sit beside you. “I’m just sorry that I didn’t stay awake to greet you.”

“I did notice the coffee mugs on the table, you must’ve tried hard.”

Your head nodded back at him, “you’re lucky I’m not on cloud nine right now with all that caffeine.”

“If you stay awake for much longer, you just might be,” he warned you, “go back to sleep if you want, I just need to wash up and then I’ll come and join you to rest.”

Your head nodded, reluctantly letting your hand slip out of yours. “Don’t be too long though, I don’t want to fall asleep on you again without saying goodnight.”

“You won’t even know I’m gone,” he grinned, rushing across into the adjoining bathroom whilst you made yourself more comfortable in bed.

“I can already feel myself getting sleepy, get a wriggle on.”

Juhaknyeon:

He couldn’t believe what he saw before him as he walked into the apartment, spotting your figure curled up into a ball on the sofa, light snores escaping.

“How?” Was all Haknyeon could say as he walked further in, inspecting just how sleepy you were.

After texting just fifteen minutes ago to let you know that he was on his way home, you’d somehow managed to drift off to sleep, unaware of him even entering the house.

“Y/N,” he whispered, gently shaking your shoulder to try and wake you up. As you stirred, his voice spoke up once again, “I thought you’d be excited to have me home.”

“I was, I am, I told myself I’d only shut my eyes for thirty seconds.”

Your voice was groggy, widening the smile on his face. “You shouldn’t have waited in that case.”

“I promised when you left the house this morning that I’d wait up for,” you sighed, quickly covering your mouth as a yawn escaped, “I kind of kept to that promise too.”

His eyes rolled, stepping forwards to press a kiss to the top of your head, “you tried your best, and I appreciate that, even though you didn’t need to in this state.”

“I’m not that tired,” you whined, trying to sit yourself up, only for your body to fall straight back down, “but can we go to bed, because you probably need the rest?”

“Of course, but secretly, I know you need the rest too.”

Sunwoo:

Tired arms wrapped around your tired figure, careful with every movement as Sunwoo carried you off of the sofa, glancing across at the clock with a sigh.

“If you didn’t look so cute, I’d be mad right now,” he giggled to himself, admiring your sleeping face.

Yet, as he went to spin away from the sofa, the sound of your voice broke him from his thoughts. “Your home?” You questioned, instantly picking up on Sunwoo’s voice.

“I’m home,” he established, carrying on with his walk towards your bedroom. “Go back to sleep, I promise I’ll have you laying back down in a minute, back with your dreams.”

“You broke my dream; I was dreaming of you and I as well.”

Sunwoo was thankful you couldn’t see the red glow on his cheeks, “I’m sure you can go back to it.”

“Why?” You whispered, snuggling tightly into his chest as he walked, “I have you here now, I don’t need to dream about you anymore.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at your tired voice, “you can have the real thing tomorrow, but your tired, and as hard as it is to say no to you, I know that rest is the most important thing right now.”

“I guess I’ll dream of you for now instead,” you responded, scrunching your eyes tightly shut. Sunwoo’s head nodded, smile wide at your expression.

“I’m sure you’ll have plenty of sweet dreams of me.”

Eric:

As he walked into your apartment to hear the television still playing, Youngjae was excited to see you, until he noticed you fast asleep, laid out on the sofa.

“One day you won’t fall asleep watching this drama,” he chuckled, grabbing the remote to pause it.

As the room fell silent, he reached across to pull a blanket off the back of the sofa. “At least look after yourself if you’re going to fall asleep before I get home too.”

“I was watching that,” your voice suddenly mumbled, stirring at the feeling of the material draped over your body. “Why did you turn it off, it was getting to a good bit.”

“Don’t even try and convince me that you were awake then.”

Your eyes slowly opened, staring up at Youngjae. “I closed my eyes for a couple of minutes, I swear.”

“Such a liar,” he scoffed, refusing to believe a word that you said. “If I asked you to tell me one thing that happened in that episode, would you be able to tell me?”

You paused for a moment, but as you thought back, your memory failed you. “Alright, so maybe I was asleep for a while, but only because I was waiting for you.”

“Which I always tell you not to do,” he smiled, kneeling down beside you, “you’ll hurt yourself one day falling asleep on the sofa like this, waiting up all night.”

“It would be worth it though to see you.”

---

Masterlist

720 notes · View notes

inkedtae · 3 years

Text

a lover’s howl ⇾ kth. [M]

⟶ inspired by Howl’s Moving Castle and part of The Ghibli Series

⌁ pairing; howl!taehyung x reader (f.)

⌁ genre/rating; studio ghibli au, howl’s moving castle au, smut, a dash of fluff, a bit of angst, 18+

⌁ summary; an unforsaken spell blesses you with his presence again

⌁ word count; 4.1k

⌁ warnings; howl!taehyung, blonde!taehyung, bigdicc!taehyung, dom!taehyung, sub!reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, praise kink, dirty talk, oral (f. receiving), fingering, body worshipping, basically a moving amount of filth~

⚘ happy birthday juno ♡ (@onherwings)~

⚘ a huge thanks to my beta readers, @kkulmoon, @nottodayjjk and @uhgood-dooghu, for taking the time to read this over and fix it up for me. it means a lot and i don’t think i will ever be able to thank you enough. also a special thanks @yeoldontknow for letting me talk at her, giving me ideas and always supporting me. I owe this fic being finished on time to you.

The rumble of the train trembles the walls of your workshop. Black fumes cloud the moonlight. Your candles flicker atop your desk, threatening to diminish and leave you sewing in the dark. Weaving feathers in and out of a black hat, you’re too preoccupied with thoughts of him to be fazed by the sound. He writes often, enclosing a black feather with every letter, but doesn’t visit as much. You’re not sure what of this “important business” is so dangerous that you can’t come along as well. You have survived much worse, witnessed his near death and helped him rebuild his castle afterall. And though you told yourself countless times that there’s no good dwelling on the past, you can’t seem to stop wondering what exactly changed his mind.

A prick of your thumb stings you out of your thoughts. In a jolt, you drop the needle and hat to shoot out of your seat with a hiss. You lick the wound before it bleeds then press your fingertip upon it. You hope the pressure subsides the wound long enough for you to fetch a bandage from the first aid kit.

Now, where did Taehyung say it was? Something about a library... or was it a living room? You make your way up to the attic, hoping he did in fact mention the library. All you can really remember from that conversation was how handsome he looked in that pink coat you stitched up for him. It just frames his broad shoulder so well only to narrow around his thin waist. And then there was that knowing look in his eyes that told you he knew just how much you weren’t listening at all.

“Baby,” he had whispered, cupping your chin. “Are you listening?” And once you had found the mental capacity to resist the urge to kiss him and slowly nod, he had smirked and repeated, “The kit is in-”

The library flickers to life when you enter. Dust settles upon every inch and you begin to wonder why he had forbade you from entering before as you scan the shelves for the kit. Leather bound books and tightly rolled scrolls reside on every surface. Trinkets of his journey clutter around as well. You had thought you talked to him about the importance of organization, but it seems that he prefers this mess best.

Your attention settles on the desk, sitting in front of a large window. Presuming it’s probably in one of the desk drawers, you make your way over with the intention of rifling through them and nothing more. You’ve learned from past experience that it’s best to never tinker with his things. However, once you stand before it, a red, leather bound book catches your eye. The imprinted title is written in an unreadable script and seems to be floating off the cover. How could that dance off the surface like that? Against your better judgement, curiosity hovers your fingers over the font.

Slamming open, the book flips and flicks through various pages only to suddenly stop. Rose coloured font apperates into view in that unreadable script again. You furrow your brows, attempting to read it anyways, until the strokes of ink shift around the pages. They rearrange themselves into a script you can decipher.

A Lover’s Howl.

Yearning of heart and

Tethers of soul.

I wish to end my misery

And the distance apart

Together unruly and-

The tremors of the train erupt every wall of the attic, pulling you out of your thoughts. Startled, you glance out the window to find that it is not the train at all you owe this rukkus to, but the upset clouds. Flashes of lightning burn the sky alight as rain beats down the busy street.

You turn back to the desk and shut the book. That’s enough snooping for a night. You still have that first aid kit to find. Rummage through the drawers, you finally find a little tin of bandages under a box of rose and emerald ink pots. Teeth between the thin paper, you rip open the little bandage and wrap it around your thumb. However, it seems like once one wound is taken care of, another flames.

Aching, your heart sits heavy in your chest. You take a deep breath, hands too shaky to return the kit back beneath the ink pots. The action seems to push the numb pain to your gut. A little whimper escapes you. You lean on the edge of the desk, inhaling sharply. You’re still breathing, you try to remind yourself. And that should be a comforting fact if your pussy didn’t begin aching as well. With a shaky gasp, you press your thighs together and wonder why the thought of being bent over this very desk seems to be unfathomably appealing right now.

Your fingers hover over the pearl buttons of your dress; it suddenly seems awfully tight in this hot room. Wait- when did the room get so ho- “Agh,” you whine as another pang of pain makes you needier.

The newfound heat suffocates skin, hands moving fast to push that blue dress off your shoulders. It doesn’t hit the ground before you start to discard your bra and panties as well. Still, your body burns with a desire to be overtaken. It’s as if you’ve been edged all day, left half finished and ready to finally unravel. Desperate to feel just that, you slide a hand down to your aching pussy. It clenches emptily, yearning for Taehyung's huge cock. God, it’s been too long since he last stretched you out. Nothing can ever quite compare to his size, your fingers and vibrator a weak excuse for anything besides clitoral pleasure.

Rubbing at your clit, you try to soothe the craving for him now. However, the pain only seems to intensify. It’s as if your body knows it’s not your own hand you crave, but Taehyung’s. And where is he now to graze your folds between his fingers and tease with little praises? You can just see him peeking up from between your legs, tongue poking out of his lips and breath fanning over your heat. And you’d push yourself up into him. So, he’d smirk and chuckle, and tell you to be patient or he won’t do anything at all. You can even hear him now, taunting at your desperate, half-naked state in the very section of the house he told you to never enter.

“What did I say about looking through my things?”

Hand cupping your heat, your attention snaps to the door. Taehyung leans against the doorframe, the candlelight sculpting his features sharply. His name leaves you in a whisper as you begin to wonder how desperate you are to have resorted to hallucinations? Maybe you should really call him if your mind’s gone this far. But, as you attempt to move around the desk, another shot of pain holds you back. You gasp a quiet cry and harshly rub circles around your clit.

Concern colours Taehyung’s features. “Sweetheart,” he calls, rushing over to you. You’re about to pride your mind on such a vivid and accurate imagination when you feel his large hands settle on your arms. Soft and cold, he holds you tight and guides your hunched over frame onto the desk. Shrugging his coat off, he drapes it over your shoulders and asks, “What’ve you done to yourself?”

“You’re here?”

“I’m here,” he smiles.

A breathless chuckle bubbles out of you as your hands wrap around his neck. Your arousal slicked hands stain his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to mind, pulling you into a tighter hug. “You shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters between peppering little kisses in the crook of your neck.

His vanilla cedar scent coddles your heart and aches your bones. You whimper into his shoulder at how quickly the pain intensifies from a single whiff. Taehyung pulls half an inch away, concerned and confused. With his forehead resting against yours, he licks his lips and you can’t think of a better use for that tongue if not to lick at your pussy. The pain shoots at you again just as your thoughts become interesting. You swallow your whimpers as he brushes your hair out of your face.

His gaze falls to your bare chest before lingering around your pussy. Suddenly aware of your nakedness, you shyly press your thighs together. Every inch of you just wants to beg him for his cock already, no matter if you're bent on his desk or pressed against the window. You just need him on you, in you, touching every part of you.

The courage to ask for what you want finally presents itself when he shifts his gaze to something behind you. You sneak a glance over your shoulder to find that open book. A little sigh escapes him and he returns his attention to you with a little smirk. “You missed me this much,” he teases, caressing your cheek, “that you just had to cast a mating spell, hmm?”

Is that what that was? You weren’t even sure you could read it before it rearranged. You’re about to apologize when the pain cinches your words in your throat. Doubling over, you rest your head against his shoulder and whine, “Ah, Tae!”

He wraps his arms around you, further engulfing you in his scent and you don’t think you can take much more of this. Whatever this mating spell is, you’re sure it’s not supposed to be tearing you apart. Clutching on the collar of his shirt, you mumble, “I need you, Tae. I need your mouth and fingers and- I just need you so bad.”

You wish you can say you hate the way his eyes glisten with power. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he knew exactly how you were feeling and was just waiting for you to say it. He’s told you before that the sight of you so needy always awakes something dark within him. He loves to watch you whine and quiver.

His hold on your face tightens as his fingers dig into your skin. You swallow thickly, another whine escaping from the mere thought of those fingers deep in you. He licks his lips before asking, “What do you need me to do so bad, sweetheart?”

He trails his fingers down your neck, past your collarbone and the valley of your breasts; waiting, watching. When all you can muster is his name in a little mewl, he whispers, peppermint breath fanning over your face, “Do you want to start on your knees?”

“Anything,” you gasp, tugging on his shirt. You just need him close, need him now. “We can do it anyway you want, just please fuck me already.”

Surprise alights his eyes for a moment. Never have you spoken this crassly, without his cock already deep in you that is. He chuckles, on the verge of teasing you about it when another pained whimper escapes you. Taehyung settles his large hands on your thighs. Leaning in, he brushes his nose against yours then places a soft kiss upon the corner of your lips. “I know it hurts, sweetheart, but I can’t do much if you don’t tell me exactly what you want.”

You pause for a moment, wondering how much clearer you could be. Usually, a declaration to be riled is enough to set him off. You’re never the one guiding him as he always insists on guiding you. He says it's because he loves how obedient you suddenly become when his dick is involved. And though you have tried to fight him on it in the past, there’s not much you can deny now. So, you bite back a whine until you have enough strength to order just above a whisper, “I need your mouth, Tae. You’re fingers too. Honestly, anything will do just as long as you're tasting me.”

He bites back a chuckle as he lowers himself to his knees. Spreading your legs, he urges you to lean back a bit. The gesture pushes a variety of books and pens to the floor. Neither of you can be too bothered, however, with his face inches away from your pussy.

Holding your gaze, Taehyung dives in. You expect him to lick a long strip up your pussy to start, as he always does, only to have him suction his lips around your clit. Either way, you’re sure the pain withers away. A relieved gasp echoes in the small room as you throw your head back. You can barely even feel the previous ache when he releases your clit to lap up your wetness. All you can focus on is how you missed his warm tongue.

“Oh fuck, just like that,” you moan, eyes fluttering shut. Your hips roll up to meet his tongue, body craving more of him.

“Keep talking to me, baby,” he mutters around a mouthful of pussy. “How fast do you want it?”

You run a hand through his hair and hold on tight. “Fast!” Taehyung groans against you, making your heart flutter enough for you to forget what more you wanted to say. Until a small ache pokes at your gut again. With a whine, you reply, “I need your fingers. I need you to shove them in me and lick me and make me cum. Fuck, Tae, just please make me cum.”

Taehyung circles two fingers around your tight, little hole, muttering, “About time you remembered your manners.”

Not much strength lives in you to tell him that you’ll remember your manners when he finally lets you come along with him to whatever “important business” that’s taken him this long. And even if you could speak, all you can really think about is how you missed his fucking fingers. So long and slender, they slide into you so far and curl just right.The pain dissipates and you throw your head back with a loud moan. You’re not sure what this spell was, but you’re thankful for it if it means bringing Taehyung back home.

You attempt to ride his face again only to have him remove his lips. He smirks up at you, amused gaze peeking through his blonde bangs. His fingers quicken and bash just where you need them.

“Taehyung,” you sigh. Voice breathless, strained with the return of that painful, greedy desire to unravel, you whine, “I need your mouth.”

He chuckles. You shudder. Has he been gone so long that you’ve genuinely forgotten just how much you adored that laugh? You’ve never been able to process the duality of it, the cheerful tone sounding so deep and dark.

“And what do you want me to do about that?”

Oh, right. The spell. It only seems to let him follow your orders. You make a mental note to tease him about it later, the gnawing ache of your gut begging to be eased. Still, under your breath, you mumble, “Must I hold your hand through this?”

Taehyung clenches his jaw. His eyes blink cold, hard and darken into vexation. If he could, he’d smack your pussy, bend you over for a spanking only to edge you thrice before finally letting you cum. At least, that’s what he did the last time you talked back. Instead, he resorts to glares and little reminders to “behave” since “the spell will break before the night is over.”

You shiver with every moan as you sit up. A few more scrolls roll to the ground from the shift of your position, but you pay them no mind. As the thunder roars beyond the little library, you cup Taehyung’s wet smeared chin and guide him back onto his feet.

“All I can ever think about,” you start, attempting to speak through your moans, “is all the time lost not getting fucked in that moving castle.”

“It’s d-”

“Dangerous,” you finish. “More dangerous than a mating spell? Than this stupid libr- fuck, I think I’m close.” You fall forward to rest your head against his shoulders. Taehyung scoffs and you don’t need to glance at his handsome face to know he’s smirking. You can hear it.

Hand shooting to his wrist, you stop his fingers mid-thrust. The spell’s pain lingers around your pussy, tightening your walls around him. It threatens its return as your orgasm slowly disappears. He whispers your name, but you only meet his gaze when you’ve bitten every needy whine back long enough to say, “I just want you to fuck me like you want me.”

“What makes you think I don’t want you?”

A little whine slips past your lips. Taehyung’s expression softens and he shifts in place, likely feeling helpless when you don’t allow him to ease the ache. “You left, Tae,” you sigh. “You left me here. I want you to fuck me like you never did. I want you to replace your fingers with your cock and touch me like you love me.”

Taehyung pauses. “You think I don’t love you?”

Though the answer is on the tip of your tongue, you know better than to tell him it now. Taehyung is no fun to fuck when he’s genuinealy upset. And if you are going to be rid of this unforsaken curse, you know that you’ll need to keep the rest of your thoughts to yourself. So you let go of his wrist and the spell compels his actions once more.

Taehyung removes his fingers then rids himself of his clothes. You can’t seem to keep your hands from wandering over his chest and clutching onto his shoulders. He smiles at you and, though it’s small, that smile of his makes you wonder if perhaps you’ve ruined the entire mood and now he’ll only fuck you because he wants simply to help.

Then he seizes your hips. You’re pulled forward until the length of his cock presses between your folds. He strokes his nose along your cheek, wet lips whispering, “I think the real issue is how you have trouble following orders.” Rolling his hips against yours, Taehyung groans into the crook of your neck. “It looks like I have to show you how it’s done.”

You lose your fingers in his hair, clutching onto his bicep with your other hand. You missed how much he loved to tease. Lips biting into your collarbone, Taehyung reaches a hand between your bodies to align himself. A gentle push in and you’re exchanging praises. He’s definitely been gone too long if you’ve forgotten just how big he is. His mere tip stretches you enough to lose all words, incoherent affirmations taking their place instead. Eyes rolling back, you thrust up to try meeting his hips halfway, but Taehyung grounds you in place.

A specific speed never left your lips and you just now realized that fast is in fact Taehyung’s default setting when it comes to fucking you into submission. All the pain you thought was returning feels as though it never arrived at all. You’re about to tell him to thrust harder when he clutches onto your neck.

He stares into your desperate eyes, his own looking needier than usual - a fact he has never enjoyed admitting. “Do you know how many times I almost used this fucking spell?” he hisses as his thrusts become harsher. “Every night, I stare at that fucking page and think about how pretty you’d look when you’re full of my cock.” He growls a curse under his breath. The hand around your neck tightens just to let go. As it trails down your body to cup one of your bouncing breasts, he groans, “You look even more beautiful when you’re desperate for it. Did you know that?”

You let out a shaky moan. Hands sweaty, you try to maintain your grip on his shoulders as he plays with your body like a passtime. He thumbs your nipple, gazing down at how you arch your back and push yourself further against him. Breathless from the sheer sight, he picks up his pace. The desk scratches at the floor with every thrust. Your moans drown its sharp creaks as Taehyung buries his face between your breasts. Licking and biting, he feasts on you like he never left, like he does this every night and still can’t believe he has you.

Cradling his head closer, you feel that once painful ache in your gut tighten, twist and slowly begin to beg for a chance to release. And you know he can feel you inching closer as well, little praises pouring out of him between his appreciation of your chest.

“That’s my girl,” he rasps. “Taking my cock so well.”

True, you’re annoyed it took a fucking spell to bring him back, but you’d be lying if his insistence of you being such a good girl didn’t just replace all your anger with affection. “Taehyung!” you cry.

You’re about to ask for permission when you recall the fickle detail that you are the one calling the shots this time. Even still, you try to subside your urge to cum long enough to ask, “I-it’s okay to cum, right?”

Taehyung laughs against your skin. He trails quick kisses back up to your lips, only to mutter moments later, much to your constant whining, “You don’t need to ask this time, sweetheart.”

Like being doused with cold water, you allow yourself to come undone. Fingers digging into his skin, eyes rolling back, you scream out his name over and over again with the rhythm of his hips. Every new thrust adds to the quaking of your body. It breaks in your voice as you cry out for him.

“Does that feel better?” he teases, voice husky and strained. If that isn’t enough indication that he’s close, the little twitch of his cock gives it away. “Is my dick enough or do you want me to cum too?”

Nails imprinting into his skin, you try to meet his gaze. “If you don’t cum in me right now,” you start, breathless and desperate, “I swear I’ll cry.”

Taehyung nudges his nose against yours before pressing his lips to yours. He lets you swallow all his moans as he pulls you close by your ass and holds you tight. Then, he bites your lip and fills you until you’re stuffed with more than just his giant cock.

A few more rushed kisses and sloppy thrusts are offered before Taehyung ceases all movement. He rests his head on your shoulder, fingers still sunk into the curves of your ass. Sweaty, heaving exhaustion overwhelms your senses. Pussy pulsing, you find that the longer Taehyung remains in you, the more twinges of that pain return. You know you should tell him that, only you’re worried that he’d go the moment he pulls out. He has served the purpose of the spell after all.

Taehyung stands straighter now that his breath has returned to him. He shifts his hands from your ass to your hips and gently pulls out. A hiss escapes him. You feel empty all over again.

Crossing your legs, you softly push his hands off your hips. It might just be best to make this easier on both of you, you wonder, and give him a chance to go. Maybe that way it won’t feel as though he’s abandoning you.

“I guess you have to get back then,” you say as you hop off the desk.

You both know he can sense your discomfort. “I can stay for a little while.”

Grabbing your dress off the ground, you ignore the emotion in his words. “Lucky me,” you mutter, turning back to find him inches away.

Eyes locked, Taehyung maintains his sincerity. He tentatively wraps his arms around your waist and, when you don’t interject, presses you against his chest. “I’m- I-” he stutters for a moment before the words come together once more. “I thought leaving alone would be the safest. I didn’t think it would take this long.”

You shake your head. He’s missing the point. It shouldn’t take a spell to compel him to return. He shouldn’t have left you alone. “It shouldn’t matter how long it takes. I should always be there.”

Taehyung falls silent. Guilt flashes in his eyes as he reverts them to the floor. Swallowing thickly, he meets your gaze again to mutter, “I just can’t risk losing you again.”

“Then don’t leave me alone,” you whisper.

Taehyung pulls you into a warm hug. A tearful apology is mumbled into your shoulder. You’re not very interested in it though. All you want is him; with or without a lover’s howl.

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission.

#bangtansorciere #bangtanhq #networkbangtan #taehyung smut #kim taehyung smut #bts smut #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #kim taehyung angst #taehyung ghibli au

1K notes · View notes

jerzwriter · 2 years

Text

Chapter 31 - All that glitters...

Book: Open Heart 3 (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Rating: Chapter: Teen

Summary: Extended Series WIP – Love Triangle. In this chapter – Casey begins to inform all the players about her decision to remain behind in Boston, and she copes with her own feelings as each response; Ethan begins to see healing takes more than he thought, and he has a friendly shoulder to help him through; Tobias & Casey each make a discovery, and wonder if they can truly trust each other.

Category: Extended Series (WIP)

Warnings: Some cursing.

A/N: This is a repeat, but it’s going to be 35 chapters. But it is REALLY going to be 35, no more extensions, the bones of the remaining chapters are already done. As I said last time, I’m not stressing over it, the story just needs to be told right. Expect Chapter 32 within the next week. I’m committed to keeping this going without many delays. This is the last “set up” chapter, the action is about to flow. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

SERIES MASTERLIST

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

Casey’s eyes went to the door the second she heard it open; she knew it would be Ethan. He smiled warmly walked over to her. Too warmly. He looked like her parents had, in the past, when an acceptance letter arrived. She could see the nervous tension but also the unmistakable pride on his face. For all they had been through together, he always knew her future was unlimited, and telling him that she was turning it down was something she did not relish.

“Hello,” he grinned, pointing to the table. “What’s all this?”

“I went ahead and ordered for us. I hope it wasn’t too presumptuous, but I do know what you like.”

“You do, but you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know. But I also know if I waited until you got here, there is no way you would have let me treat, so I beat you to the punch.”

“You always did know how to one-up me, MacTavish.”

“It’s one of my charms,” she grinned.

“One of many.”

“Shut up and eat your croissant,” she said, tossing a flaky treat his way.

“So, will I be missing our meetings here soon?”

“You cut right to the chase, don’t you.”

“Yes,” he leaned back confidently. “You’ve made me wait long enough.”

“What if I just wanted to enjoy breakfast first?”

He shrugged. “We can do that.”

Casey sighed and tossed her muffin down onto her plate. She didn’t have much of an appetite anyway.

“What’s the point? It’s not as if I’m going to enjoy it anyway.”

A perplexed look spread on his face. “Why?”

“Because regardless of my choice, there was always going to be good or bad. There wasn’t one correct answer, there were two, and each came with its own price tag. Each one would please some and disappoint others. And I hate that.”

He leaned on his elbows and looked over at her with a tenderness that made her recall earlier days when this was “their” place, and he could whisk away her fears with a smile and the touch of his hand. She wished times were that simple once again.

“Casey, ‘others’ don’t matter in this equation as much as you do, you know that, right?”

“Sure,” she lied.

“And you’ve given this serious thought. You’ve really weighed the pros and cons, right?”

“I did.”

“Then you’ve made the right choice. Now,” he straightened up and spread jam on his croissant, “you can tell me that answer now or later. As long as you tell me before we leave because I’ve been patient enough.”

“I’ve decided to stay at Edenbrook,” she spit out. She immediately brought her teacup to her lips, lowering her eyes to escape the disapproving look she knew would come. But that did not protect her from hearing the tone of his voice.

“You’re… serious?”

“Yes,” she answered, clearly annoyed, “and I’m telling you the same thing I told Tobias last night. There were only two answers; it was always fifty-fifty, so I don’t know why everyone is so shocked.”

“I guess… it just wasn’t what I expected to hear. Are you certain?” he whispered, his voice so low it was barely audible. “Casey, this is the opportunity of a lifetime.”

“I’m certain,” she answered with a voice so confident that the average person would have believed her, but Ethan knew her too well.

“Case… what… what were your pros and cons?”

“What happened to it’s my choice, and you trust that I weighed the options thoroughly?”

“But with everything you told me, how could anything tip the scales?”

“Ethan, sometimes you can have a list that is miles long, but just one reason on the other side can be big enough that none of the rest matters.”

His face fell. “Tobias.”

“That’s not my only reason,” she lied.

“It’s plain as day,” he objected as his exasperation growing.

“So what it if is,” she snapped. “I’m not you, Ethan! My career has never been my one and only end all! The people I love matter to me.”

She regretted saying the words the moment they fell off her tongue. His jaw clenched, and she wasn’t sure if she saw anger, regret, or sorrow in his eyes, and it was, in fact, all three.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Ethan, that was uncalled for. I’m just being defensive.”

“Then perhaps you should consider why you are. If you were so certain, you wouldn’t need to be. I know I’ve made my mistakes, and I know I’ve been foolish in not honoring those I have loved the most. But I’ve learned some, and now… a partner shouldn’t limit someone, Casey. I hate that he asked this of you.”

“He didn’t ask anything of me. I made my choice on my own.”

“After he gave you an ultimatum!”

“He never gave me an ultimatum!”

“He said if you left, your relationship is over. How is that not an ultimatum?”

Casey’s eyes darted around the café, and she saw other patrons beginning to look their way.

“My relationship with Tobias is none of your business,” she whispered.

“You’re right. But I care about you, and your career is my business. It has been since the day I reviewed your residency application. I’ve never taken my responsibility lightly, and I don’t want to see you toss it all away.”

“I’m the youngest member on one of the most renowned diagnostic teams in the world. Your diagnostic team. Isn’t impressive enough? I’m still going to have a brilliant career. I’m just choosing my path, and I am happy with my decision. Please, have enough faith in me to believe I’m capable of doing that.”

“Of course I have faith in you, he sighed,” I just hope you won’t regret this.”

She nervously popped a bit of her corn muffin into her mouth and smiled.

“Plus, you still get to meet me for breakfast this way.”

“Well, I suppose there is some silver lining,” he answered with a wry smile.

“Thank you, Ethan. Please, trust me.”

He nodded, but his silence left her with doubts.

Now I should go. I need to call William and inform him of my decision. Knowing him, this should be fun.”

“No doubt it will be,” he grinned, “But before you go. We finalized arrangements for Naveen’s party. It’s going to be on the Cape in two weeks, and I can assure you will have the day off. Will you and Tobias be able to join us?”

“Of course,” she smiled, “nothing could keep me away.”

_____

Casey sought out a vacant conference room the moment she entered Edenbrook, eager to get this unpleasant task out of the way. But, subconsciously, she probably wanted to do it before there was any chance of changing her mind. William’s secretary announced her call, and she answered within seconds. He was disappointed when Casey said, though the offer was one she couldn’t have imagined, she had to turn it down.

There was marked silence on his end, and as it dragged out, Casey grew increasingly uncomfortable.

“Have you given this sufficient thought? I don’t mind waiting a bit longer.”

“I have, and my decision is final.”

“May I offer some advice?”

“Of course.”

“I hope that you’re not doing this solely for the sake of my nephew.”

Casey was incredulous. “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying….”

“I heard what you said,” she interrupted firmly. “ But you have a wife, correct? Are you telling me that you don’t take her into account when you’re making life-changing decisions?”

“Of course I do. But she’s my wife, Casey. Now, from what I understand, Tobias loves you an awful lot. Maybe enough that you will be his forever, but what if you are not? How will you feel then? I’m not trying to be cruel. I have daughters your age, and I’m going to give you the same advice I would give them. Opportunities like this do not come by every day. Do you want to throw it away for a maybe? You’re a brilliant young woman, perhaps you should put yourself first… especially….”

“Especially what?”

“Especially given my nephew’s track record with women.”

“You know, you barely him, and you barely know me. I know who he was, but I also know who he is, and I know how he feels about me.”

“Casey,” William sighed, then he spoke with kindness in his voice, “he’s my nephew. I love him, and this puts me in an awkward situation. But, I really like you, and I see what you can achieve and, selfishly, what you can bring to my institution. So, again, if you were my daughter, I would say, if he’s that devoted to you, then why was he unwilling to bend for you.”

“William, I’ve decided not to accept the offer. And I think our conversation is over.”

“Well, I’m disappointed, but I understand. But my offer stands.”

“What?”

“If you should ever change your mind, call me. I doubt I’ll be able to give you the same offer, but we’d always be delighted to have someone like you at GW.”

“Well, thank you for that, though….”

“I know, it’s unlikely. I wish you the best, Casey. With everything.”

Casey hung up, happy it was over. But, the relief and the happiness she expected to feel never came.

She began walking to the team’s office when she ran into someone who immediately made her smile.

“Well, look who it is! Are you counting down the days until you’re out of here, Naveen?”

Naveen smiled brightly. He was always happy to run into his grand-mentee.

“Oh, my lovely girl, you know that it is a mixed bag for me. I’m eager to explore other areas of life, but I also cannot imagine not being here every day.”

“Well, I hope that as you explore your life, that feeling will melt away.”

“That’s my hope as well! And how are you? It’s been too long since we’ve chatted.”

“I’m OK.”

“Just OK?”

“I just turned down an offer to go to GWU.”

“Ethan had told me about your offer. It sounded like a wonderful opportunity.”

“It was. But it wasn’t what I wanted right now.”

“Well, I trust you to make the decision that is best for you.”

“I’m glad someone does. But, Naveen,” she asked with a voice that sounded more desperate than she expected, “can I ask your opinion?”

“Always.”

“You’ve spoken to me about your regret in making work the sole focus of your life. Well,” she said with some degree of embarrassment, “I made my decision because work is not the sole purpose of my life. Do you… do you think that was a mistake?”

“My child, only you can answer that. From my perspective, it could go either way. Your career, especially at your age, is of great importance, and you have so much to offer. On the other hand, there is so much more to life. I would never fault you, and it isn’t as if you won’t have a stellar career either way.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Of course, I am also of the belief that if someone loves you, they would be willing to make the sacrifice to stay by your side, and you may want to take that into account.”

“But he has his reasons, valid reasons. I can’t really blame him.”

“Well, as I said, I have faith in you. All that matters is that this is the right decision for you.”

Casey clasped his hand, and she smiled weakly.

“I can always count on you for good advice.”

“Always. Even when I am no longer here. Oh, I understand Ethan is throwing a big, unnecessary affair to celebrate my new beginning. I’m hoping I will see you there?”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

_____

Ethan was so caught up in his conversation with Casey he lost track of time and ended up running late for his session with Dr. Fernandez. He was never late for anything, so he was angry with himself. When he opened the door and entered the empty waiting room, it dawned on him, not being called the wrong name by a certain pain in the ass had become a routine, and he missed it.

His session was more emotional than usual, and that said a lot. He addressed why Casey’s decision weighed so heavily on him and began to understand why it shouldn’t. It was also becoming clear that his path to healing lay in digging up the past, to bury it again, the proper way this time. He had been unearthing for months now, bringing long-suppressed feelings to the surface. Beginning to understand how all the puzzle pieces came into place. It had been both exhausting and painful, but he thought the worst was now behind him.

But now, he was beginning to see that burying these things meant letting go. He wanted to release the pain that defined and sought to destroy him for so long. But the familiarity of that pain made letting it go feel like losing an appendage, losing who he was. Letting go meant giving up on hopes and dreams that still lived on in his heart, no matter how unrealistic. It meant forgiving, not just others, but, most difficultly, himself. He now realized that the glass-covered road he had crawled upon to get to where he is now was just the beginning; the steepest challenges still lay ahead. He only hoped that the reward everyone promised was on the other side would have been worth it.

He leaned against the back of the elevator as soon as he stepped inside, and only then did he realize he was not alone.

“Sonia, I didn’t see… how long were you in the hallway with me?”

“Uhm, I was there before you.”

“You were?”

“I was,” she chuckled.

“I’m sorry, I… why didn’t you say something? It’s not like you to be quiet.”

“Really?” she said, shooting him a look. “I know I’m chatty, but I can tell when someone is in though and needs to be left alone, and I respect that.”

“Well, thank you,” he smiled.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

“I’m actually glad I got to see you. I missed your wiseassery more than I realized.”

“Awww. I’m honored! But I hope the lack of it didn’t impede your session.”

“Ah, today’s was difficult regardless.”

“That’s necessary, Ethan. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Excuse me? What is my name?”

“Eduardo,” She grinned.

“Hey, would you like to grab coffee? I wouldn’t mind discussing how this therapy shit works again.”

“Well, I’ve been at it long enough. I am a semi-pro by now. But… I don’t have time to go to Derry’s, and my shift starts in 40 minutes, so we’d have to go there.”

She points to a Starbucks.

“STARBUCKS?! Are you kidding me? Don’t you have anything better down here?”

“I guess? But it wouldn’t give me enough time to get to work. Now, do you want to have coffee with me, or do you want to show the world what a java snob you are by yourself?”

“I want to have coffee with you.”

“Good. Then shut up, and let’s go to Starbuck’s.”

“I should make you pay.”

“Fine by me,” shrugs.

“I’m only kidding.”

“Suit yourself.”

They enjoyed their time together, Ethan appreciated her explaining that healing is a lifelong process, but setbacks don’t mean you head back to zero. You notice you are sliding back at 70% and you do what you need to do. When he complained that it sounded exhausting, she asked him how well letting the demons control his life worked. She laughed victoriously when his response was, “Shut up.”

But Sonia’s favorite part of their encounter was watching Ethan drink his coffee.

“You look as if you are being assaulted!” She laughed.

“That’s because I AM!” he replied. “This is an assault on my taste buds.”

Sonia rolled her eyes, “You are such a prima donna! It’s not that bad.”

“I’m disappointed in you, Sonia. If I hadn’t introduced you to real coffee, it would be one thing, but I have. So I am disappointed.”

“Oh, how will I continue with my life now,” she chuckled, “You’re so lucky I put up with you.”

“You know what,” he laughed, “I am….”

Sonia smirked but diverted her eyes and looked away.

“Hey, are you free two weeks from Saturday, by any chance?”

“I’d have to check my schedule. Why?”

“I’m throwing a party for Dr. Banerji. Are you familiar with him?”

“Everyone is familiar with Dr. Banjeri. Plus, I know he’s your mentor.”

“How do you know?”

“Everyone knows.”

“You are such a wise ass.”

“I’m aware. Self-awareness is key.”

He shook his head, smiling. “Anyway, wiseass, would you like to go to his party?”

Sonia scrunched her nose, a bit surprised at the request. “Like, as a date?”

“Well, we don’t have to call it a date. We can call it, I’m going to be surrounded by people who, as much as I love them, all bring a certain level of stress. I’d like a friendly face who is there solely because they like spending time with me.”

“First, you’re assuming I like spending time with you. Second, I’m assuming there will be free food and adult beverages. Buddy, if I go, you will be far from the sole reason.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I will check the new schedule when I get to work. But if I’m free, yes,” she smiled, “I’d love to join you.”

____________________

Dusk was falling, and back at Edenbrook, Casey and Harper were wrapping up a conversation.

“Well, I, for one, am glad you are staying.”

“Thank you, Harper. It’s good to know someone is not disappointed in me.”

“Someone? Do you mean Ethan J. Ramsey? Because, as far as I can see,” she tilted her neck toward Tobias, who just entered the office, “most are likely glad you’re staying.”

Harper tapped Casey on the shoulder before heading out of the office.

“Hey, kid,” Tobias smiled then kissed Casey on the top of her head.

“Affection at work?” she smirked.

“Affection in the office while we’re all alone. You’re lucky we’re not doing more.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you OK? You look exhausted.”

“I am. I barely slept last night.

“Really?” Casey asked, surprised, “I thought you would have finally slept well.”

“So did I. Hopefully, I will tonight.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Ethan said, entering the office.”

“You’re not interrupting at all,” Tobias answered.

“Good. Do the two of you have a moment to go over a couple cases.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Casey answered. “I have a consult with Dr. Cho in ten minutes. Nicole Carpasso was admitted again this morning. I was asked to step in on the case, and it’s Dr. Cho’s only free time today.”

“Of course, it can wait,” Ethan answered, shooing her away. “Go, go.”

Tobias squeezed her hand as she walked out the door, sharing a lingering look. Casey then turned back to Ethan, smiling when their eyes met.

“I’ll see you at quitting time,” she said to Tobias and left.

“So, it looks like I still have an intact team,” Ethan said, never taking his eyes off his laptop.

“Yeah, it does. I guess you were expecting otherwise.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s still a little surprising, if I’m being honest. It was a hell of an opportunity she threw away.”

“I don’t disagree, but being here is a big deal too. She’ll still excel.”

“Mmm. I’m sure you’re pleased.” Ethan tried to contain the disapproval in his voice, but it came through.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ethan folded his laptop and leaned back in his chair.

“Tobias, do you truly believe she stayed because of her opportunities here?”

“Gee, I don't know. When did being on one of the most prestigious medical teams in the hemisphere start being a bad thing? Because maybe I need to get my resume in order.”

“It’s not. But she had the chance to go to the next level.”

“And she decided she didn’t want to. That’s her choice.”

“You don’t think you had undue influence on her?”

“Whoa, slow down. I never told her what to do, and she made her choices on this alone.”

“And maybe she shouldn’t have. Perhaps you should have worked on that choice together, like a couple.”

Tobias’s eyes went wide. “Pardon?”

“You could have tried, and you could have attempted to come to a decision together. All you did is let her know choosing the position meant losing you.”

“Well, that’s a gross oversimplification of the situation. But thanks, Ethan. Next time I need relationship advice, I know where to go.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know damn well what it means. My relationship with her is my relationship with her. Her ex, who really didn’t do right by her, is not the one who should be offering advice. I’ve always been honest with her. What was I to do? Wait until she decided and thought we’d be shopping for a house in DuPont Circle together before telling her I can’t move back there? In any case, her decision wasn’t based on me alone.”

“Yeah, I’d love to know what the other factors are.”

“Ethan, this conversation is closed.”

“Fine. I just hope you’re both happy.”

“Me too. And since we’re discussing things, my happiness is less likely to be impeded if my girlfriend isn’t turning to you when she needs to make a major life decision. Do you want to talk about impropriety? How about suggesting she talk me when she comes to you with such matters.”

“I can’t determine who she turns to.”

“But you don’t see anything wrong with this picture? How do you think I liked hearing her talking to you about her choice before she talked to me.”

“The same way I liked her talking to you about matters that involved me when we were together.”

Thoughts flashed back in Tobias’s mind; Ethan was right; he had no retort.

“Besides,” Ethan continued, “she never told me, she... wait… you were listening to us that night? Tobias, that's pathetic.”

“Nothing is pathetic when you're worried about losing the woman you love.”

Ethan sat quietly and swiveled in his chair. “Yea, I know all about that. But you were mistaken. She didn’t tell me a decision, she was just telling me about the offer. She hadn’t made up her mind.”

“Well, it sure sounded like she did at the time,” Tobias said sadly, though he softened toward Ethan.

“Why didn’t you at least try? I know I’m no one to speak, given my history with Casey. But don’t you see, I don’t want yours to be the same. I know what it’s like to lose her; trust me, you don’t want to do it. Could you have tried to come up with a solution?”

“You have no idea what I did or didn’t do. I was in the process.”

“Does she know that?”

“No, it's moot now she decided to stay.”

“She decided to stay without all of the information that was available to her! You should tell her. Even now.”

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he snapped.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, shaking his head. “I know our history is… complicated… but you matter to me, so does she. I’m glad we’re working toward being friends again….”

“We are friends, Ethan. We may be working toward making it less… complicated… But given everything, we’re doing a good job.”

Ethan nodded in acknowledgment.

“But understand, I would never do anything to hurt Casey.”

“It’s not always intentional,” said softly. “Anyway, more pleasant topics. Are you looking forward to Naveen’s party?”

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it. Do you need us to drive anyone down?”

“No one that I’m aware of. But I’d check on Casey’s gaggle of friends.”

“Hey, that’s my gaggle too!”

“Do I hear gagging in her?” Floria said, entering the office.

“See, Flor, you have to stop saying things like that. This is how rumors get started,” Tobias chuckled, surprising all.

“Well, I’ll make sure to quash that rumor. Anyway, did I hear travel arrangements for the party being made?”

“Yes, you did,” Tobias answered.

“Well, I’d rather not make the drive alone. Can I grab a ride with you, Ethan?”

“Of course, you’re more than welcome to come down with us.”

“Us?”

Tobias’s brow raised as he looked over at a dumfounded Floria.

“I asked Sonia to come along.”

“Sonia, from the coffee shop, Sonia?” Floria asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh, I hadn’t realized. Uhm, let me give it some thought.”

“Fair enough,” Ethan replied. As Floria quickly retreated from the office.

“Sonia?” Tobias inquired, “Who is this Sonia of whom I have not been made aware?”

“Relax. She’s a friend.”

“A friend? How many friends have you asked to Naveen’s party? Tell me about Sonia.”

“You're being incorrigible.”

“Which one of you is being incorrigible right now,” Casey asked, entering the room.”

“It’s Tobias’s turn,” Ethan deadpanned.

“Hmm, good to know. Ready to head home, T.”

“Well, I’d rather stay here and get more information about this Sonia person that Ethan is bringing to the party.”

“You’re bringing Sonia?” Casey asked, shocked.

“Yes, but it’s not a date.”

“It’s not?”

“Oh, for the love of God, will you two go home! As your boss, I demand it. Get out.”

____________________

“Tobias? Tobias?” Casey nudged him after he fell asleep on the elevator to the parking garage.

“Hmm… Oh? What?”

“Hand over the keys, buddy.”

“What, I haven’t been drinking,” he smirked.

“No, but you’re completely exhausted. Come on, let me drive home tonight. You know it’s not safe to drive this tired.”

“You’re right,” he said, tossing her the keys.

“So,” she said, adjusting the driver’s seat, “why don’t you shower and head right to bed when we get home.”

“Maybe,” he yawned.

“I barely ate today, so eating is in order first. Then, a shower and bed sound good. But only if you join me.”

“I’ll see. I’d really like to do some research on Ms. Carpasso’s condition tonight, but I could always go to sleep with you and just get up early.”

“Mmmm,” he said with his head against the window, “sleep with me. I always like you... sleep with…”

And he was out. Casey smiled tenderly at him as they were stopped at the red light.

I don’t care what anyone says, she thought, gently stroking his hand. I made the right choice.

After a quick supper and a playful shower together, they both slipped under the covers. Tobias’s nuzzled his head against her bosom and was asleep within minutes. Sleep did not come to her, but contentment certainly did. She stroked the top of his head and kissed it tenderly as he slept. After a while, Casey gingerly slipped out of bed and went to the living room, intent on doing some research, but she could not focus. She was becoming more at peace with her decision to stay in Boston. She was eager to put this difficult patch with Tobias behind them. She looked at the clock. It was just 10:00 o’clock, still early enough to call her parents; she had filled them in on her decision but wasn’t able to get into the details. After explaining, they had some concerns but understood and supported her choice in the end.

“After all,” she told them, “it was growing up in our family that made me feel this way. You know I’d never be happy with a successful career and no happy personal life. I want what we had when I was a child. A loving relationship of my own, if I’m lucky, maybe a child or two running underfoot, it’s the right choice.”

“And do you believe Tobias is the one that you’ll have that life with, sweetheart?” Her father asked.

Casey smiled and tugged her robe closer. “I do, Dad. I really love him, and I know he really loves me, and I know we can have a beautiful life together.”

“I believe that too, Case,” he agreed.

“Mom,” Casey said after a moment, “you’re awfully quiet. Do you have anything to say about this?”

“I’m happy for you, baby. I’m proud that you’ve made such strides, that you’re in such a wonderful position, you were offered another, and you have the head on your shoulders to know why you made the choice that you did. That takes so much.”

“I sense a but,” Casey replied with a nervous smile.

“There is no but, per se. I love you, of course, and I love Tobias too. I think you’re a wonderful couple. My only concern is that,” she sighed, “I think the two of you could have handled this situation a little better, and it has me concerned.”

“Rose, it wasn’t handled badly,” David interjected.

“No, it wasn’t,” Rose said, gathering her thoughts. “You’re still a relatively new couple, Casey, and I don’t dismiss that like others would. Even the strongest couples, like your Dad and I, started off as a new couple too, right? And we both knew very early on that this was for good.”

“Yes, we did,” her father agreed.

“But you’re still learning how you will operate as a couple together, and I think you should access where things could have been better. Do you see any places it could have, for either of you?”

“We could have communicated better. There was already tension brewing when we started to talk about a potential move and everything else. On my part, I should have discussed it more with him, even though I knew it was a sensitive topic.”

“Yes,” Rose concurred, “because he obviously knew it was taking place. Talking about it would have been hard, but not talking about it probably just planted more seeds of doubt into his mind.”

“True,” Casey answered quietly, “and I suppose….”

“Suppose what?” Rose asked.

“I should probably talk to him now. Because, even though I’m happy with my decision, I do wish there had been more discussion about a possible solution if I had taken the job. I mean, would he really want to throw us away like that without even trying?”

“I don’t necessarily disagree,” David stated.

“I understand his reasons, and I may even agree with them. But, if I want a future together, we will both have to sacrifice at times. But… did he really attempt that here?”

“Honey, if you really feel he didn't, then that….”

“No, Dad, let me clarify. Just encouraging me to look into the opportunity, knowing the impact it could have on us was a sacrifice, but… we should have talked more, and that’s on me too.”

“Good job, baby,” Rose said proudly. “Just talk. You two have a good thing, and that’s how you learn.”

“OK. I love you guys.”

Giving up on sleeping right away or doing any research, Casey turned on the TV and inadvertently fell asleep on the couch. She only woke when she heard her phone ring at 1:00 AM. Jumping to answer, she found that it never rang at all. Perplexed, when she heard the ring again, she noticed Tobias’s phone. He was so tired, he must have forgotten to bring it to bed. She picked it up to turn the sound off when a text message came through… from Angelica.

Tobias, please call me. I understand that your girl is sticking around after all, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead with what we discussed. I still want you, and I still think this could be a good thing. Just… call me. OK?

Casey swallowed, and her blood went cold. She trusted Tobias implicitly, but… this was two nights… at this hour… and why was he so evasive when Casey asked who she was? She tried to stay calm, but she could feel her heart racing. She was going to heed her parent's advice. She and Tobias were going to have a talk, and soon. She was so anxious that she contemplated waking him when her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Ethan. I hate to call at this hour, but Ms. Carpasso went into cardiac arrest. I’m heading to the hospital and….”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“Case, wait, you don’t’ have to….”

“No, I do. This is my patient, and I’m invested in this case. I’m coming.”

“OK. Then I’ll pick you up. Can you be ready in fifteen minutes?”

“I can be ready in ten.”

Casey got dressed, hastily grabbed a folder from her bag, and scribbled a note on top.

T. Emergent issue with Ms. Carpasso, it’s 1:15 AM, heading into work with Ethan, I’ll be in touch. Love you, Casey.

And with that, she was out the door.

____________________

Tobias woke the following morning and headed to the kitchen, assuming Casey was already up. He saw the note on her folder and frowned. He hated when he started the day without her, but they were doctors, and it was all part of the job.

He was shocked that he slept so well without Casey by his side, but he had been exhausted. While he was feeling much better, he hadn’t had that first cup of coffee yet, and the morning grog was still in control. As he grabbed over the counter for his mug, he accidentally knocked Casey’s folder to the floor.

“Crap.”

He put the mug back down and leaned over to gather the papers that had scattered across the floor. As he straightened them out to tuck them back into the folder, one of the pages caught his eye.

Pros … Cons

Wait, something is off… she said she had many reasons…

He turned on the kitchen lights. He was still tired and needed to make sure he was seeing this straight. He was.

She said there were many… that I wasn’t the only…

“I’m the only reason she’s staying,” he gasped out loud, “she told me… she lied to me?”

They were going to need to talk.

Permatags: @a-crepusculo @animesuck3r @annoyingmillenialnewbie @anonymousrookie @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @danijimenezv @darkswagamerpiratecowboyclown @differenttyphoonwerewolf @dorisz @everybodyscreamsposts @genevievemd @icecoffee90 @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kachrisberry @kalinahonore @kingliam2019 @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @mainstreetreader @mia143 @mjlbwork @mm2305 @parisa-kh @peonierose @phoenixrising308 @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rosebudde @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @shygirl4295 @sillydg @spookycolorpeanut @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @trappedinfanfiction @txemrn @writer-ish @youlookappropriate @zahrachoices

ADDITIONAL TAGS IN REBLOG

#delaying the inevitable #ethan ramsey #tobias carrick #tobias carrick x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #choices fanfic #open heart fanfic #chocies fanfic

68 notes · View notes

live-the-fangirl-life · 3 years

Text

It's Only Temporary

Feyre Archeron x Rhys - Tattoo Artist Oneshot

After losing a bet, Rhys gets a new tattoo

Masterlist | Read on Ao3

Warnings: Language, Tattoos

2492 words

*******

“Fey!” Cassian’s voice boomed through the glass door as he grinned and waved to get her attention.

Looking up from her sketchbook, Feyre watched as Cassian tried to open the locked door again, shaking the wood so hard the bell hanging above it started chiming frantically.

She rolled her eyes and walked out from behind the counter she’d been working at, quickly getting to the door before his enthusiasm ripped it from its hinges. Feyre had barely flipped the lock when Cassian swung it open and immediately wrapped her in a bone crushing hug, lifting her off the ground as she laughed before setting her back down and ruffling her hair. Then he strutted through the dim lobby of her tattoo parlor taking his time to survey the walls of designs, the colorful crushed velvet couches, and the small rack of t-shirts and stickers she had for sale with the shop’s logo printed on them.

The Rainbow was Feyre’s baby. She’d saved almost every penny from the time she’d gotten her first job in order to afford her shop. After studying art in school and apprenticing for a few years, she’d finally been able to buy a small storefront in Velaris and built her business from the ground up.

It didn’t hurt that most of her friends liked tattoos and were always happy to be her canvases and subsequent advertising.

Shaking her head at Cassian who’d made himself at home near her front counter, Feyre returned to her spot with her sketchbook, now open to display a howling water wolf, and raised a brow, “Can’t you read? I’m closed.”

He scoffed, grinning, and leaned his forearms on the counter. “Not for me, Archeron.”

She rolled her eyes again but couldn’t help her smirk when she told him, “It late and I’m busy. Care to tell me why you’re here?” Feyre looked at him expectantly.

Cassian just grinned. “Do I need a reason to visit my very successful, very talented friend?”

“Wow, such flattery, Cassian. What exactly are you trying to get me to agree to?” She raised an eyebrow, trying to reign in a smirk.

He flashed her a wolfish grin. “Convince your sister to go out with me.”

Feyre snorted. “I don’t think you’re Elain’s type.”

“You’re hilarious, Archeron.” Cassian deadpanned and rolled his eyes, “Come on, Fey. Talk me up to Nesta.”

Feyre sighed, closing her sketchbook, and resigning herself to not getting anymore work done tonight. “Cass, I’ve done all I can on that front, believe me. You’ll have to win her over all on your own.”

“Been trying that for years.” He grumbled then ran a hand through his hair.

“I know that isn’t why you’re here,” Feyre insisted, “you ask me to do that literally every time you see me, so I know you didn’t seek me out for that. What’s up?”

He shot her a grin that made his single dimple stand out as he glanced at the door to the parlor. “Az is on his way over with Rhys and we were hoping you would do us a favor.”

“A favor?” she asked skeptically.

Cassian kept grinning. “You see, baby Arche,” Feyre snorted at the nickname. “your idiot boyfriend made a bet that he never stood a chance of winning, and he lost. Horribly.”

“Okay…” she rubbed at her face, trying to steel herself for whatever she was about to hear. Cassian’s shit-eating grin wasn’t making Feyre feel any better.

“Az and I want you to tattoo a little something special on Rhys for us.”

She paused, halting her shuffling of her sketches and furrowed her brows. “You want me to tattoo something on Rhys…because he lost a bet?”

“Yes.”

“Does Rhys know this?”

A slow smirk spread across Cass’s face, “He knows he’s coming to see you.”

Feyre rolled her eyes. “Cassian, why would I agree to tattoo something—you haven’t even said what it is, by the way—onto my boyfriend when he obviously doesn’t even know what’s happening?”

“Well,” Cass pointed out, “I’d hope he’d realize what was happening once you sat him in the chair and got your needles and ink out.”

She snorted, “You know what I mean.”

“Because, Fey,” He sighed dramatically, “Little Rhysie is a punk and lost a bet so now he has to get a tattoo of our choice. And who better to do it, than his wonderful tattoo artist of a girlfriend?” his grin came back, wider than before.

Feyre said nothing for a moment as she stared Cassian down. Then she asked, “How drunk is he?”

Cassian chuckled, “Very.”

Feyre smiled slowly, “And how drunk are you?”

He narrowed his eyes at her but lifted his fingers to show a small space between his thumb and pointer finger. “Just a little bit.”

“So, a lot.” Feyre corrected

Cassian was silent a moment before grinning, “Rhys bet that he could outdrink me.”

Feyre blinked, then clutched the counter as she bent over laughing. She heard Cassian’s loud chortles next to her a moment later. When she stood back up, she wiped a tear from her eye and shook her head.

“Oh, my gods,” She was still chuckling, trying to picture Rhys go shot for shot with the mass of a man standing in front of her. “I love him, but sometimes he’s such an idiot.”

“I think you mean all the time.”

Just then, the bell on the door jingled again and Azriel held it open with one arm as he gripped a stumbling Rhys with the other.

“Hi, Feyre.” Azriel nodded at her as the door shut behind him.

“Hey, Az” She chuckled and walked towards the pair. “Can you lock that? Thanks.”

“Feyre, darling!” Rhys suddenly beamed and stumbled towards her, stepping close enough that she could smell every shot he’d taken on his breath. He used both hands to gently cup her face, squishing her cheeks in little and pressing a sloppy but sweet kiss to her lips. “I missed you.”

She smiled at him but stepped back to avoid his breath. “I saw you a few hours ago.”

He pouted, “That’s too long. I’ve had to look at those two ugly faces all night when I could’ve been looking at your dazzling one.”

“Why does he have to insult us when he compliments her?” Cass grumbled to Azriel who looked mildly amused.

He snorted. “Perspective.”

Feyre removed herself from Rhys’ grip only for him to wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her into his side. She leaned into his touch, and helped keep him standing, as she rested her head on his shoulder as she faced Azriel.

“Az, can you fill me in? Cassian tried, but I don’t know how much I trust his story.”

Cassian feigned hurt and shook his head. “Fey, I am wounded that you doubt me.”

Azriel’s explanation had been essentially the same as Cassian’s with a few more details and a little less slurring of words. She’d rolled her eyes but told them to wait in the lobby while she took Rhys back to her studio.

Feyre had no intention of actually tattooing her very intoxicated boyfriend just because he and his brothers had made a stupid bet. He’d have to be completely sober before she agreed to that.

Guiding Rhys into her back room, she waited until he was sitting on the edge of her large, leather chair before moving to stand between his spread legs. His hands instantly found her waist and she rested her palms on his thighs.

Quirking a brow at her boyfriend, Feyre asked, “Did you actually think you could out drink Cassian?”

Rhys scoffed, “I’m just as big as he is, why shouldn’t I have been able to do it?”

Feyre smirked as Rhys pouted. “Babe, you may be fit,” she huffed a laugh at his raised brow, “okay, fine, extremely fit, but Cass is a tank. And he’s a bartender. There’s no possible way you could’ve won that bet.”

Rhys kept pouting, flexing his fingers over her hips, “You’re supposed to be on my side, Darling.”

She laughed and pecked him on the cheek. “I am, always.” She kissed his lips for good measure. “But I’m going to tease you when you’re being an idiot.”

He used his grip on her hips to pull her towards him for an actual kiss. Feyre stayed wrapped in his arms for as long as she could stand his horrid tequila-drenched breath. Letting her arms loop around his neck and her fingers tangle in his hair, Feyre pulled back.

Rhys let his forehead droop onto her chest and Feyre had the distinct feeling that it was less about the warm comfort of her skin and more about an excuse for Rhys to press his face into her breasts.

“I don’t hear any needles buzzing back there, Fey!” Cassian bellowed from the lobby area. She snorted at the clear sound of a hand hitting someone’s head and the following curse.

She rolled her eyes but kept playing with Rhys’ hair as he mumbled something too muffled for her to understand.

“What was that?” she asked.

Raising his face, he looked at her and winced. “Are you actually going to tattoo me?”

She snickered at the disdain on his features.

“Maybe I should,” she teased, “to teach you a lesson making ridiculous bets.”

Rhys winked. “you can teach me a lesson anytime, Darling.”

Feyre rolled her eyes and was about to retort back when Cassian yelled again, “Baby Arche! We’re not paying you to make out back there!”

She snorted and hollered, “You’re not paying me at all! I’m getting there, don’t rush me.”

Azriel’s voice came next, “We didn’t bring your intoxicated man-child here so the two of you could get it on in the back parlor.”

Rhys snorted and replied back, “You say that like it’s never happened.”

“Rhys.” She hissed, smacking his arm as he chuckled.

“Gross,” two voices audibly gagged from the other room. “You’d better sanitize back there!”

A pause, then a disgusted Cassian said, “You’ve tattooed me on that chair, I don’t want to know what you sickos have done to it.”

Feyre and Rhys snickered before she said, “You might want to avoid the front couch then, too.”

Rhys, still grinning, added, “And the check-out counter—”

“—and the bathroom sink!” Feyre finished.

“Heathens.” Azriel muttered.

Rhys and Feyre laughed at their friends’ obvious disgust.

“I don’t need to hear any more of this,” Cassian insisted. “Ever.”

Feyre rolled her eyes and turned on her machine, allowing the steady buzz of the needle to flow into the waiting area; Cassian’s loud whoop telling her the sound was loud enough.

She carefully set the device on her counter and let the buzz echo through the room as she turned towards a small drawer and pulled out a colorful packet.

Rhys raised an eyebrow at the needle she clearly wasn’t prepping to use on him and watched as she flipped through the pages of whatever she was holding.

She paused on a page and grinned, flipping it around for him to see.

“Do you want a flying bat or one that’s hanging upside down?”

Rhys blinked. Twice. He slowly grinned back at his clever girlfriend as she handed him the sheet of temporary, press-on tattoos.

They were cartoonish-looking designs; the ones made for children that you could use a wet cloth to press onto your skin. He flipped through the rest of the pages to see a variety of other animals and plants, all ready to be cut out and used.

“Is my only choice a bat?” He grinned, looking back up at Feyre to see her already grabbing a scissor and paper towel.

She snorted. “That was what your brothers insisted on.” She took back the packet and carefully cut out the two bats. “They may be drunk enough to think a press-on is a real tattoo, but I don’t know if they’d accept anything else.”

When she held up both bat options for him, he nodded towards the one with outstretched wings. Feyre wet the paper towels and pushed his sleeve up to reveal his toned forearm. After making sure his skin was clean and dry, she gently pressed the bat onto his skin and covered the design with the wet paper towel, allying pressure to keep the image steady.

Rhys reached over with his free hand and grabbed the packet again. “Why do you have these? Besides for saving your boyfriend from a stupid bet?” he finished with a wide grin.

She laughed, still pressing firmly on the tattoo. “I keep them for the kids.”

At his raised brow she rolled her eyes. “Sometimes my clients can’t help but have their kids with them, so I keep the press-ons for those who see their parents and insist they get a tattoo, too.” She snorted at some memory. “I used to have washable markers for them to use but then a few of them would walk out of here looking like some avant-garde painting, so I switched to these. It’s adorable when they hold their cartoon dragon next to their parent’s actual ink.”

Rhys chuckled and Feyre lifted her hand, slowly peeling back the sticky paper to reveal a cute, flying bat.

He flexed his arm, grinning as the movement made the bat’s wings look as if they were flying. “How do I look?”

She leaned in to inspect the bat, making a show of darting between the cartoon and his real tattoos trailing down his arm. “Hmm, I think maybe when you’re sober, I should actually ink this onto you.”

Her grin made him laugh. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss next to the bat, careful not to brush it, and he smiled as she looked back at him.

“How’s it going?” Az’s low voice carried from the front room, making Feyre chuckle and Rhys huff.

She leaned over and expertly turned off the still-buzzing needle before calling back, “Just finished!”

Rhys brought his arm up and laughed again at the small, cheery bat placed between his darker swirls of years-old markings. He locked eyes with Feyre again as she put her supplies away and moved to stand once again between his legs. “You think they’ll buy it?”

She snorted, “Probably not.” She laughed again at his sullen expression. “But I don’t think the bet ever specified the tattoo having to be real.”

Rhys’ grin returned in full force as he brought his hands to Feyre’s face and guided her lips towards his. “You, Darling, are spectacular.”

Laughing again, Feyre leaned out of his reach. “And you, babe, still have horrible breath.”

Rhys rolled his eyes but loosened his grip as she stepped out of his arms, taking her hand as she led them back towards the front lobby.

“Come on,” she said over her shoulder, winking, “let’s show them your new tattoo.”

*****

Taglist:

@acourtofsnakes @allthebooksunderthemoon @astra-ad-mare @becarefuloflove @booklover41802 @charlizeed @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @danibutterr @doubt-less @emily-gsh @enormousbooklover @foughtconquered @fromthelibraryofemilyj @hakunamatatazz @i-have-but-one-brain-cell @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jorjy-jo @lemonade-coolattas @mariamuses @mayhemories @midsizewitch @miserablesmusings @morganofthewildfire @nehemikkele @rowaelinismyotp @rowansfirebringer @sayosdreams @sheharahu @sleeping-and-books @stardelia @story-scribbler @superspiritfestival @surielandiareendgame @swankii-art-teacher @tomtenadia @westofmoon @whimsicallyreading @moodymelanist @angelic-voice-1997 @realbookloverproblems @gracie-rosee @julemmaes @yesdreamblog @the-regal-warrior @rowanaelinn @thestoriesyoutell @autumnbabylon @sunflowermoonshinewrites @maastrash

194 notes · View notes

cheer-deforest-kelley · 3 years

Text

This is the amazing day I met DeForest Kelley on the set of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

My boss was friends with a woman who worked on a few of the Star Trek movies. He introduced us and told her of my love for DeForest and she invited me to the set when De was filming.

I could not take photos as it was a closed set, but it didn’t matter as everything I saw was burned into my soul.

In late December 1988, I drove through the gates of Paramount Studios and parked right by the Star Trek Production trailer (Trailer 12). My head spun as I walked inside and was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the making of a Star Trek movie. While sitting in my friend’s office, a voice on the walkie-talkie said that Bill and De were in their dressing rooms. My head exploded.

My friend walked me to the stage that was the Enterprise bridge and I got to sit in Captain Kirk’s chair (my feet didn’t touch the ground—literally and figuratively). I saw Director’s chairs with the names William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelley embroidered on the backs. I would have loved to sit in De’s chair, but all I could do was touch the arm as we walked by.

The Stage Manager told us that Bill was on the New York street set, so we left the stage and walked to an outside set with a high stage. When we arrived, Bill was being strapped into a harness (which fit around his torso, waist and crotch and which would allow him to be lifted into the air). His legs were bare and very white (he was wearing gym shorts). He was making jokes and talking in a very high pitched voice as they tightened the straps around his nether region.

I forgot all about Bill when I heard a voice on a walkie-talkie say that De was stepping out of his trailer and would arrive in a moment. My heart started pounding and I started feeling very warm (it was 49 degrees outside— which by the way, is considered freezing for Southern California). I turned around and saw DeForest Kelley ambling towards me. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a dark green sweatshirt, a light blue jean jacket with a fleece collar, black cowboy boots and a multicolored scarf around his neck.

Tears welled up in my eyes. De said hello to a few people, hugged my friend and she then walked him over to me. She told him my name and said where I worked. De shook my hand for a very long time (eventually just holding my hand rather than shaking it) and called me a spy because I worked at different studio than Paramount. He commented on how cold it was and lifted his sweatshirt up to his chin to show us a fleece-lined shirt that a fan from Seattle made him. He was very charming and chatty; I said a few sentences but was mostly mute (just call me Gem).

After a few minutes, he said it was great to meet me, shook my hand again and went to talk to Bill (who was now wearing sweatpants with yellow stripes and a blue uniform tunic that was unlike their usual uniforms). They talked for a while, laughed a lot and then hugged goodbye. Bill (being the Director) had to leave to watch a previously filmed scene— he was driven away. Suddenly all the commotion on the set just stopped and much of the crew left, however De stayed.

He came over to talk to us again (OMG!!) and said “It’s always hurry up and wait.” I responded “That’s showbiz.” He laughed (thank God) and said “That’s right, you know it!” I found my voice this time when he asked about my job. We talked for at least 10 minutes— discussing the cold weather again, his being a little sad that production on the film was almost done (You’re sad De? Let me hug and console you.) and what we were respectively doing for New Year’s Eve. For De, it was was “Absolutely nothing except kiss my wife before midnight since we don’t stay up that late.”

A man holding a humungous binder came over and said he needed De. De said “Bye now” and left (sob!!). Of course I kept my eyes glued on him. After he conversed with the binder guy, he talked to some crew members, but when they left, he stood alone for about 5 minutes, during which he smoked two cigarettes (he had a very nice lighter). He looked around and found a random Director’s chair and plunked down in it (he first pounded the chair with his fist, to make sure it was sturdy-- it was an old looking chair).

Bill was gone for over an hour (lucky me). I was free to wander around the set, but I mostly stayed close and kept an eye on De; he talked to the crew, left once (potty break?), read a magazine and smoked-- sad to say he constantly smoked. He once looked over at me and gave me a big smile.

When Bill returned, they were ready to film the scene when Kirk falls from Yosemite’s El Capitan and McCoy berates him. There was a publicity photographer taking pictures of everything, including this scene (which happened to be printed in a magazine and is my first picture posted here).

The Assistant Director called for De, who stood up and unbuttoned his jacket. A woman appeared and De closed his eyes as she touched up his make-up and combed his hair (I wanted to comb his soft hair). Two big burly men then lifted De (by his outstretched arms and butt) onto the elevated stage; they lifted him so high and hard, he literally flew into the air before landing on the stage on one foot-- he caught his balance and then turned back to them laughing with his eyes wide. They both laughed nervously and said “Sorry De.” He told them they were very strong.

On the stage was the bottom part of El Capitan made out of fiberglass. At the time, not knowing anything about the story, it just looked like a huge rock surrounded by dirt, boulders and trees. There were screens surrounding the stage that looked like blue sky with clouds.

They connected wires to Bill’s body harness. He was lifted just off the ground and then quickly hung upside down where he swung around loosely. De came over and bent down with his face very close to the upside down Bill and they spoke quietly between themselves; De then stepped back and Bill called “Action!” Kirk said “Hi Bones, mind if we drop in for dinner?” and laughed like he was a little drunk. De took a step forward, bent down and McCoy started yelling at the slightly twirling Kirk. Kirk patted McCoy’s ears and squeezed his cheeks, laughing and making little noises. They quickly filmed the scene twice. The first time went fine, but the second time, they both began laughing and De said to the upside down Bill, “Kiss me.” They quickly kissed on the lips (I know, I know!!) and the entire crew cracked up. Bill called “Cut!” and someone else yelled “Lunch—45 minutes.” De said goodbye to the crew, got into a car, lit a cigarette and was driven away.

I had to get back to work. I walked (floated actually) to my car and drove out of the studio gate, ecstatic that one of my wildest dreams had come true.

A month later, my friend gave me my very own Final Frontier cast & crew jacket (similar to the one McCoy wore in the campfire scene), a photo of the cast & crew (Leonard’s and De’s smiles are absolutely adorable), some Star Trek notecards and a cast publicity photo.

Sorry this is so long. It’s taken from a note I typed up when I got back the the office that day. I didn’t want to forget a thing.

#deforest kelley #dr. mccoy #star trek #captain kirk #william shatner #Star Trek movie #star trek v: the final frontier #behind the scenes #watching Star Trek being filmed #de in person #I have DeForest Kelley’s DNA on me #bucket list item checked off

459 notes · View notes

ichigopanhpff · 2 years

Text

Someday... Chapter 2: When Everything Was Lost

[Last Chapter] -- [Masterlist]-- [Next Chapter]

🎵 BGM: Tonun "Luv Key"

Warning: Light alcohol consumption.

“You come back to Japan and you don’t even contact your old friends?” Chifuyu playfully scolded (Y/N) after taking a gulp of his beer and bit into his chicken scallion skewer. “You’ve become quite the cold woman.”

“I literally just landed this morning and I’m jetlagged as hell,” she exhaustively huffed out laced with annoyance. The tips of her fingers rested on her temple rubbing in small circles. “Cut me some slack…”

“She does look like she’s ready to pass out any second,” Draken noted based on her pale complexion and eye bags. “We won’t keep you too long, but at least eat somethin’.” He loaded a few skewers on her plate, to which she quietly thanked him for. “Been a while since we hung out.”

“The agency loaded me with a bunch of jobs when my work made it on the most popular photo books list,” she elaborated and bit into her beef skewer. “I barely had time to breathe, let alone keep in touch.”

“Clearly,” Chifuyu pointed out. “After all we did for you…”

“No need to rub it in, ‘Fuyu,” she grimaced with a frown. “I know I’m a terrible human being for not texting you two and an even worse one for making my ex’s friends lie,” she admitted and rolled her eyes and inhaled the chicken skewer before sipping her beer.

“Why don’t you just talk with him?” the tall pony tailed boy advised. “So you both can get some closure…”

“I got my closure when I saw him with that other girl at his studio,” (Y/N) bitterly scoffed and gulped down the golden fizzy beverage. “Not to mention those flirty texts I accidentally glanced on his phone…”

“You still love him, don’t you?”

She quietly set her glass down, looking pensive and lightly sighed.

“Do you still love Emma-chan?” she questioned back with an unintentional bite, rendering Draken silent. Suddenly not feeling hungry any more, she reached into her bag and placed down a 5,000 yen bill from her wallet to cover part of dinner before standing. “And about Mitsuya… I’m just trying to heal a day at a time.”

Before opening the restaurant door, she turned back at her friends again.

“By the way, your disguises suck. I spotted you both a mile away.”

After getting a few days off to recover from jetlag, she woke up feeling refreshed for the first time in months. Having traveled nonstop from one city to another for work, it felt nice to wake up in her own bed for once and not in a hotel or AirBNB.

Seeing Chifuyu and Draken for the first time in three years was comforting. They changed, but it felt nothing did at the same time. She looked around her room with a towering of stacked empty cardboard boxes that need to be flattened and disposed of, with a few more still yet to be opened in another corner.

It took a while for her to feel settled; she just recently got used to sleeping alone again in a full sized bed.

Stretching her arms out with a muffled crack of her bones, she changed into a sports bra and loose joggers to do her workout routine. Throwing a YouTube video up on her laptop, she started with warm-ups before jumping into a 20 minute full body HIIT routine and then cooling down with stretches.

Even when in her teenage years, her half brother’s friend Jun drilled into her that morning workouts are important to keep the body loose and active, be it in fights or the day to day activities. It's helped her with endurance and stamina when shooting at remote locations that required climbing and lots of walking. While Japanese girls preferred to constantly diet to lose weight even though there’s nothing else to lose, (Y/N) preferred to maintain her physique with exercise. Beauty standards from fashion magazines be damned.

Hopping into the shower to wash away the sweat of her efforts, she emerged a short moment later in a fresh set of loose clothes to make breakfast, consisting of a cup of milk tea, fried eggs and toast. (Y/N) decided to start checking her phone for work messages mid-sip of her tea and frowned.

“Forty new emails after four days off… You gotta be shitting me,” she groaned and scanned each one with disinterest before perking up suddenly at a debut fall/winter photo shoot gig three days from now for an up and coming designer. No matter how long she’s been shooting, she’s always liked working with rising stars; they were so much easier to talk to with low egos. Sending a text to her coworker to let him know she’ll take the job, she set her phone down to finish the rest of her breakfast before unpacking the remaining personal effects.

It took a few months, but she was officially moved into her apartment in Edogawa. Not wanting to use Pah-chin’s agency out of fear of Peh-yan accidentally blurting out to Mitsuya they saw her, she asked around for other reputable agents to find her a place. It was small for a one bedroom, but less surface area for her to clean. Opening the last sealed box, she looked at the contents fondly; it was her photo albums. Taking one out, she thumbed through one that was given to her when she was last in Sendai from her deceased half-brother, Onuma Hisashi. She reached for another after setting the first one to the side; her eyes shifting to a bittersweet expression.

It was the album of Toman she put together. Pictures of their youth forever captured on a simple 4x6 sheet of film paper. She turned the page, revealing a photo of herself, Hina and Emma all smiles from when they were making chocolates for Valentine’s Day; another of the Toman captains getting obligatory chocolates from her, blushing madly. Smiley’s face, however, was much more elated than usual and held his bag of confectionery up over his head like it was an offering to him. The photo below that would forever remain one of her favourites: Emma giving Draken her share of chocolates in private, making the vice commander bashful. Unfortunately, certain idiots from the first and second division along with the commander peeking behind a tree in the background ruined the shot. Other shots in it were candids before and after meetings.

Her eyes scanned through the pages before reaching the last page. She immediately closed the album; it was of Mitsuya in his uniform standing with her in front of Impulse, embracing each other with wide smiles. Heaving a long sigh, she unpacked the remaining albums from the box, leaving two to the side to put away elsewhere.

Those were the memories she wasn’t ready to revisit yet.

–

After an hour’s train ride to Yoyogi, (Y/N) wiped the sweat from her forehead with her arm to catch her breath once they neared the photo shoot area in the park.

“How is it this warm already when it’s only May?” she huffed and fanned herself with her hand. Her sunglasses were slipping from her nose bridge due to the built up condensation.

“You know doing that only makes yourself hotter,” Ryota noted and dabbed himself off with a handkerchief. “I’m gonna go get us some cold drinks.”

“See, this is why I love you,” she grinned at her coworker.

Adjusting her equipment bags on her shoulders, she made her way to the site and greeted the crew setting up the lights and pitched tents for shade and areas. Moments later, a crew member announced the models’ arrival and exchanged greetings. For the industry, it was a standard handshake procedure; for her, it was a way to get to know them better through conversation so she could capture their personality along with the clothing. Having set up her work station, she got to testing the lighting with a light meter and did some scenery test shots while the models were in makeup and wardrobe.

“(Y L/N)-san, the designer’s here,” one of the crew members announced. “He said he wanted to meet you.”

Securing her camera on the tripod, she followed the member to greet them. Just as she got close enough, her feet immediately froze in place and breathed shallowly the moment she saw a familiar set of lilac streaks with black hair peeking underneath wearing a short sleeve collared navy blue jumpsuit.

“It’s been a while.”

The up and coming designer she was shooting for today was Mitsuya Takashi.

Shit. Why didn’t she ask who the designer was before saying yes, she thought and ostracized herself for this misstep.

Gathering herself, she took a breath to reset before walking up to him. This was a job she willingly took. Personal feelings had no room here.

“Eh? You two know each other?” the crew member asked with surprise.

“We went to the same middle and high school,” she replied with a neutral smile and faced him. “Thank you for requesting my services for today’s shoot,” she politely greeted with a bow. “I’ll do my best to highlight the charm points of your debut line, Mitsuya-san. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask any of the crew members.”

Before he could say anything back, she’d already turned to walk back to her work station to get ready. She knew they’d eventually meet, but not this soon after coming back from overseas. Letting out a defeated sigh, the best she could do was power through the gig and leave. The first model stepped onto the outdoor set, getting last minute fixes on her hair and makeup. At a glance, she wore a loosely fitted cashmere sweater with leather leggings and white stiletto ankle boots.

“If it gets too hot at any point, let me know and we can take a break, Yukari-san,” (Y/N) told the model.

“I think I’ll be fine. They stuck a bunch of cooling sheets on my back.”

“They treat the models better than me…” the photographer jokingly grumbled, making the model chuckle. (Y/N) then turned to her staff. “Someone get me a cooling sheet and stick it on my neck! I’m dying over here!”

“They’re for the models only!” Ryota heckled from the makeup tent. “Suffer for your art, Ms. Photographer.”

“You’re all terrible! This is abuse!” she bantered back, making everyone loudly cackle. “I’m letting the agency know ‘bout these horrid work conditions.”

After loosening up the crew, (Y/N) got to working her magic. Mitsuya watched from the wardrobe area to make sure the clothing fitted today’s models right while admiring her concentration. Having worked as a studio assistant part time in high school, he was with her the whole way as she struggled through the frustrations of her own style, failures in photo competitions and successes of her hard work. He remembered her saying her dream was to hold a solo photo exhibition one day, like the one they went to for their first date.

He’d heard from Draken her dream came true, but not in the form he expected. When “Wander” got released, he was one of the few who managed to get a copy of the limited print after searching for it at various book shops. Even though they weren’t together any more, he wanted to support her in whatever way he could.

However, he never once opened the book; he was too scared of what he’d see.

It sat on his studio shelf, collecting dust with the shrink wrap still on it. If he were to sell it now, he’d make a pretty penny off of it as it’s reached close to cult status. All he can do now is continue watching her from a distance with a look of longing. The walls she built around her heart felt impenetrable.

“So, Yukari-san. How’d you get into modeling?” the photographer asked and pressed down on the shutter button.

“I got scouted in Shibuya when I was out with my mom while in high school,” she answered and changed poses. “I thought it was super sketchy at first. You’ve heard those stories, right?”

“Those scouting scams were kinda crazy for a bit… One tried approaching me when I was around Shibuya. They were so annoying.”

“Eh?! How’d you respond?”

“I put on my best yakuza impression to scare them away,” she flatly replied. The truth was she threatened to break every bone in their body if they approached her or any high school girls in the area. Yukari belly laughed, trying not to cry as she snapped away with her camera.

“That’s so crazy, (Y/N)-san!” she said between her giggles. “I’d never be able to do that!”

“Anything’s possible if you have some guts,” she noted with a smirk. “So, what happened after you got scouted?”

“After my parents and I did some research, they came with me to the agency to negotiate my contract so I wouldn’t get exploited. Three years later, here we are.”

To get a better idea of the model’s thought process, she then shifted the conversation to Mitsuya’s clothing.

“This is a strange question to ask since it’s so hot out here…” (Y/N) began and wiped her under her eye from the sensation of sweat from using the viewer. “But what do you think and feel about what you’re wearing?”

“Hm…” Yukari thought for a beat as she took more shots of her from various angles. “The clothes feel very natural, like a comfortable embrace from a loved one.”

“That’s oddly specific.”

“Is it weird?”

“It’s… interesting,” the photographer replied with a thin smile and took a few more photos.

“It’s like…” the model searched her thoughts a little more with a look of wonder, as if she was listening to the faint whispers of each thread. “Every stitch on here was sewn on with the wearer in mind, like it was tailor made for you. You can feel the care and imprint of the designer.”

She let out a wondering hum, her mind briefly wandering back to whenever she hovered over Takashi while he drafted out some pieces. When she felt him getting frustrated, she’d just hug him from behind to help him decompress for a moment and reset himself.

“Sweaters?” she asked with her eyes looking over one of his sketches behind him, with him nodding. Her arms were loosely wrapped around his shoulders while her head rested on top of her left arm.

“Knitting these by hand’ll take a while,” he mulled over and rested his chin in his left palm. He let out a concerned grunt and pouted at the design.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to get cashmere fabric instead?”

“I thought about that, but I really want this to stand out…” He pointed to the cable and seed stitch patterns.

“Always a stickler for the little things…” she chuckled and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“The devil’s in the details.”

“I do love your sweaters,” she said with a toothy grin and pressed her lips to his neck. “They feel like your hugs.”

Shaking herself out of the thought, she wrapped up the session and took a break before the next model came out.

“Reset your head. Don’t think of anything unnecessary. It’ll show in the pictures.”

After a five hour photo shoot, they were able to wrap up around 8pm. Mitsuya searched frantically for (Y/N) around the park, feeling the day’s humidity stick to the clamminess of his skin and finally found her packing up her equipment nearby the wardrobe tent.

“H-Hey…” he huffed out and wiped the sweat forming on his head with his forearm. “There you are. Good work today.”

She slowly turned to meet those familiar lavender eyes she once loved looking into.

“You as well. Is there something you need, Mitsuya-san?” she asked in a neutral manner.

“We’re on a last name basis now?” he jabbed with a hint of pain in his voice.

“It’s work, after all,” she answered with a distant tone, her stare bordering on cold. “It’d be unprofessional of me to address you as anything else.”

He stood stiffly at the entrance of the tent as she continued to tend to her belongings, not knowing what to say. She felt like a complete stranger to him.

“W-What are you doing after this?” he mustered up the courage to ask. “Wanna grab a bite together?”

“I already have a previous engagement I need to get to,” (Y/N) briskly replied and threw her equipment bag over her shoulder. “I’ll be taking my leave now. Please get home safe.”

She politely bowed at him and walked out of the tent without sparing a second glance. Every step she took to walk away from him was like a painful pang in her heart.

This is fine. This was the choice I made for his happiness, she thought to herself.

Meeting up with Ryota not long after, they got on the train and headed to dinner at a curry house in Meguro.

“(Y/N)-chan, you’re terrible,” Ryota chided and sipped his beer. “He went through all that trouble to meet you n’ you turn him down without batting an eyelash.”

“Your point being?” she flatly replied and took a bite of her chicken katsu curry rice, annoying her work friend. “Were you expecting us to have a fairy tale tearful reunion as we dramatically run into each other’s embraces?”

“Yes.”

She dryly laughed with a light snort and sipped her beer after chewing.

“As much as you may deny it, it’s fate.” Her work friend pointed at her from across the table with his spoon in hand. “You two are meant to be together.”

(Y/N) bitterly scoffed and rolled her eyes. “We’re in a field where fashion designers cross our paths everyday. They help keep the agency’s lights on, our rent paid and stomachs filled. It’s not fate, it’s work,” she spoke after swallowing her food.

“My point is, he had his pick of photographers, but he chose you. You also didn’t tell me he was that hot!” he berated with a mocking tone of hurt. “You sure like to skim on the details.”

“He is your type, after all. And what does it matter anyway?” she shot back with her co-worker’s persistent prodding. “I’ll never see him again after this campaign’s over. He’ll have his name out there and a long list of people wanting to schmooze and bang him.”

“What makes you so sure of that?”

“Ryota, I’ve seen my share of small-time designers blow up overnight and they’ll suddenly forget the people who supported ‘em when they were starting out,” she pointed out with disappointment dripping over her words. “All the bright lights, high profile attention and superficial support make ‘em all forget. They only realize this after crashing and burning, riddled with debt; the veil of their now deflated ego lifted from their clouded vision.”

“So why do you still do fashion shoots then?”

“Maybe…” she thought for a moment and sighed through her nose. “Maybe I’m trying to find someone to prove me wrong.”

“You’re not as jaded I thought you were, (Y/N)-chan.”

“Do I come off that way?” she chuckled wryly and took another bite of food.

“I have a feeling Mitsuya-san’s gonna be the one to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Prove you wrong.”

–

“So I finally saw her today,” Mitsuya revealed and sipped his sake. “She was shooting my debut line.”

“You two talk?” Draken asked.

“I tried to…” he sighed and rested his elbows on the table. “But she gave me the cold shoulder. I could still feel the walls she put up on me.” He deeply frowned, still feeling the lingering tinge of pain in his chest.

“I’m sure she did it with you in mind,” Chifuyu reasoned. “Think about it: her exhibition’s a hot topic right now. What if someone walked by and eavesdropped on you two? It’d be a whole scandal.”

“I guess…” the lilac haired man pouted, fiddling with his ceramic sake cup before sipping it again. Part of him regretted not being insistent enough for her to talk to him. When did he become this pliant?

“Speakin’ of the exhibition,” Draken perked up. “Have you seen it yet?”

“No…” he trailed off and looked to the side apprehensively. “Can you summarize it for me?”

“Ain’t for us to do,” the dragon tattooed boy directly answered.

“You should go,” the pet shop owner encouraged. “She left a message for you.”

“What is it?”

“Not for us to say,” they both responded much to the designer’s annoyance.

“But y’know, Mitsuya…” Draken continued. “She’s still thinking ‘bout you.”

He bitterly scoffed. “Her attitude toward me today said otherwise.”

“It has been three years… Lots has happened to all of us,” Chifuyu sympathetically expressed.

“When she left…” Mitsuya uttered out. “She left me a note, saying I was happier with Eri-san than with her…”

“The social climber who cheated on you?” Draken unabashedly pointed out and bit into his piece of okonomiyaki, making his friend inwardly grimace.

“Were you though?” Chifuyu wondered.

“I think… I used her as a distraction from properly facing (Y/N),” he realized.

“So you ran away, just like her,” the tall tattooed man summarized. “Man, you two suck.”

“She left first, okay?” he corrected irritably. “I wanted to talk it out.”

“Do you still?” Draken asked Mitsuya.

“Of course!” he declared and downed the remaining spirit in his carafe. “I’m not gonna let her go again. Not this time.” He looked up with a determined look in his lavender orbs. “I’ll make it so she stays.”

Taglist: @mor-pheus @netzukochannn @moodyhuesworld2 @someone4414

#mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi #tokyo revengers #mitsuya x fem!reader #mitsuya x y/n #mitsuya x you #ryuguji ken #ken ryuguji #matsuno chifuyu #kazutora hanemiya #hanemiya kazutora #tokrev x reader #tokrev x you #tokrev x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x you

28 notes · View notes

help-im-a-gay-fish · 3 years

Text

Round And Round Till We All Fall Down

Studio Nightkiller story. Part 3.

Part 2,

Part 1

In a way a follow up to KillerNight(s) however you don’t need to read KillerNight(s) to read this one.

Synopsis: Nightmare and Killer’s relationship has been going round and round for years. With feelings becoming undeniable, will they fall together or, as always, fall apart? This is again before Ccino has entered their lives.

P3: after a truly chaotic confession, Nightmare and Killer are finally together. However, it wouldn’t all be smooth sailing. After it ended, Killer looks back on the highs and lows...

Warning, contains some mature themes

Credits

Studio verse by @zu-is-here

Based off of headcannons both me and @jann-the-bean came up with, thank you so much for all your help Jan.

Original nightmare by jokublog

Original killer belongs to rahafwabas

Killer had been walking away from Nightmare's flat with such frustration, that he didn't even stop to see where he was going. Other then making sure to avoid the road, and the back alleys peppered with muggers, it didn’t really matter where he ended up. It was a big city, there were many places to go, yet it almost seemed completely alien to him in that moment. It just didn't matter...

All Killer knew was that he wanted to get away from him.

Killer was used to verbal abuse. Killer was used to verbal abuse from Nightmare. But right now Killer was cut to the core.

After a long time of walking he finally stopped, finding himself unable to go further. The glass screen of the smashed phone cut his hand, as he tense his fingers and he looked down at it. The small amount of marrow running from his palm, was no concern of his. He could hardly feel it.

"......"

Of course Night would do something like that, the arrogant bastard often acted like a child when he didn’t get his way.

Slipping the trashed electronic from his hand into his pocket, he sighed bitterly.

He lent his back against the nearest wall and pulled a slightly crushed box of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. It had been months since the last, but he could forgive himself this time. It wouldn’t be the last one he’d probably smoke today.

He lit it up and took a long deep breath in, letting the toxic smoke fill him. Fill every, nook and cranny and drenching his bones in much needed warmth. The taste was disgusting, but it gave him a sense of calm.

He'd breathed out, casting a cloud of smoke above his head. He watched as the shape twisted and flowed above his head before disappearing. There was something strangely beautiful about it, in its own way.

Much better......

For a moment he was able to draw his thoughts into a coherent line and it stung.

"I know I messed up.... But how could he..."

Nightmare had never been one to shy from insults. He’d been spouting, what most would consider cruel words, daily. So much so that it was something that ran off Killer’s bones like water droplets.

But how did they end up like this?

Things had started off so good. They had so much going for them, everyone had said so. so...why?

If he'd been asked at the time, Killer would have said he liked being in a normal relationship for once.

There was something fulfilling about having something more stable in your life and Killer had to admit he enjoyed treating is boyfriend too romance.

Giving him roses, buying him balloons and leaving flower petals in a path leading to the bed. All these little things easily flustered Nightmare and Killer loved to see the purple hue on his cheeks each time.

Nightmare on the other hand, had been on cloud 9 in a sense. He may not have shown a lot of his happiness outwardly, but he definitely felt it on the inside.

A boyfriend, finally. It wasn't just Dream anymore. They could actually spend time with each other, without Nightmare feeling angry at the idea of his brother’s lover, for the most part anyway.

It was truly better then he’d been hoping, when it came to finally date the ex-playboy. Sleepover’s had become an almost nightly occurrence, and of course caused both of them plenty of enjoyment. But it wasn’t just in the physical way any more. Just the morning spent waking up in each other’s beds in a close embrace, were enough to make Night’s heart flutter. He certainty didn’t miss sleeping alone, that was for sure.

His boyfriend still irritated the purple eyed skeleton to no end, but it was all worth it for the good stuff. Nightmare had always known that Killer was a charmer, but he hadn’t realised how much until that point. Killer was definitely a romantic when he wanted to be, that was clear, and Nightmare liked this side of him.

Nighty was a lot less tease, and had been more open to spending time outside in the city. Killer had truly loved to see him more relaxed. Introducing him more to his world had been all over the place. Nightmare had hated clubs, and despised the strong smell of cigarettes in some of Killer’s favourite bars. But Killer had greatly enjoyed the sight of Nightmare drunkenly singing karaoke, and had really really enjoyed sending the video of him to Dream and Cross.

However, his absolute favourite memory of that time had been sharing a kiss from the outdoor viewing platform of a tall sky scraper. They had been standing at the railing and the two had just been drawn together.

The kiss had been lacking all the lust and frustration they normally had. Instead, it had been warm and fulfilling. At least it had been until the high wind had blown off the hat Night had been wearing, and blown it over the side. Killer’s hysterical laughter, and Nightmare yelling at him for it, had definitely killed the mood. But Killer had still counted it as an amazing kiss at the time.

Though it felt a lot less so looking back on it now.

News of their relationship had spread fast in the media. Every tabloid, every pop up news article, every interview. Constant messages from fans saying "I knew it!". So many different congratulations, and of course the paparazzi chasing them everywhere they went.

Killer grimaced, as he breathed out another cloud of smoke.

He wondered what the fans would have to say about this. It would be all over the news in no time, no matter how well either of them tried to hide it. The rumours where sure to start within a week and the outrage after the truth would shared was going to be a huge headache. Perhaps the fans would pick sides....

What about Cross and Dream?

"....."

The last thing killer wanted was to cause any further problems in Cross' relationship. Dragging him down along side him wouldn’t have made him feel better in the slightest.

Then again, Cross hadn't said a word to him in a long time. The two hadn’t spoken since their last chat a few days ago...so it seemed Cross had already picked a side.

No doubt that Lil Light would be upset by this, and Killer's relationship with Dream was unstable as is. Perhaps Dream was keeping them apart...maybe it was Cross’ choice.

Cross had always made relationships look so easy, even the fights looked easy. Maybe asking Cross for advice in the coffee shop, those mouths back, had been the stupid idea. He should have known Cross was biased now that he spent half the day as a love sick puppy and would tell him to ‘follow his heart’ and all that crap.

Then again Killer couldn't blame him, Dream was a very attractive man for many reasons. In another life Killer was sure he'd have found a way to get with him.

"j-j-just.... He.... Everyone always wants him!"

"No matter w-what I do!! ......I'm just.. Dream's brother.."

"......"

"Nightmare..... Look at me"

"......"

"no matter what happens between us.... Dream and I will never be anything more then friends.... And probably not even that"

"...."

"you’re the only twin I want"

Killer scoffed, he was a fool when he made that promise and he was fool now.

Dream was a babe, anyone could see that. Long legs, pretty eyes, soft voice. No wonder Cross was such a sap.

Perhaps he'd picked the wrong twin that time long back.... Because he may not know too much about the golden eyed one, but he was certain that he'd never treat him like Nightmare did.

The relationship had been so good.... But Killer couldn't understand why Nightmare ruined it. It had all started in the second month.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer had been starting to settle into the idea of a potentially long term relationship.

He’d called off his arrangements with other men, and erased all the photos in his private catalogue. It was a bit strange to do so, almost like erasing a part of his life all together. But it was what people in a committed relationship did right? And its not like there was no eye candy in the streets, even if not on his phone anymore. It was just an easy and simple change...at least that’s what he’d thought.

But oh no....

That had clearly not been good enough.

It had started on an normal night.

A night where Killer had met Nightmare after his rehearsal and presented him with a large bunch of red roses. An action that caused a blush to spread all the way to Nightmare's shoulders, and he was just thankful that no one else had seen it.

The prideful skeleton had taken them and tried to hide his face behind them, not wanting to give Killer the satisfaction of his flushed face. They were the deepest, most enchanting red, yet their thorns where still attached. They were beautiful...and sooo embarrassing.

"what's all this..... You just trying to get in my trousers?"

With a chuckle, the dark-eyed skeleton swept his hand behind his companion and placed it on his back.

"oh Nightingale.... would I do a thing like that?" he purred, flashing a cheeky grin that heated Night to the core.

"I just wanna spoil my pretty little boy~"

For that, Killer got a bunch of roses shoved in his face.

"ahgrr.. Killer you're so.."

"romantic?" the tall skeleton said, plucking a rose and putting it between his teeth.

Nightmare's blush deepened.

"idiot...."

Killer simply hummed and removed the flower from his teeth, but the smile never left his face, showing his much more playful mood.

He tutted and pretended to think.

"hmmm I suppose I should tried harder... Perhaps sing and ballad or recite sonnet..."

"don't you dar-

" oh fair Nightmare, shall I compare thee to a summers Night? Tho art more lovely and colder and moody"

"shut upppp!" nightmare said, shoving Killer with his free arm. Though try as he might, Nightmare couldn't hide his smile and he laughed.

His rare laughter made Killer's soul thump for a second and a light blush formed on his face. He smiled too.

Night had been working a lot recently, so it was really good to see him relaxed.

"now... May I take you out for dinner, Fair Moonpie?" he asked, offering his arm to Nightmare.

The purple eyed skeleton sighed and hooked his arm with Killer's.

"sounds lovely"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The restaurant was quite lovely. A high end French place which was designed to kill a bank account. Being actors with growing success, Night and Killer could have afforded to eat here every day if they so wished, but it was un common that Nightmare ever had a dinner companion, when he dined in places like this.

Killer much preferred cheep and messy fast food meals and pub grub. Not to mention the many ready meals and packet food's around his kitchen.

Killer's cats however, ate a diet of only the finest cuts of fish and other meats. If he fed them canned food, it was always the top of the range brand and he would never settle for less.

His boyfriend's love for cats had only been enhanced by the addition of Cheese, the new squashed ginger thing, who had made it his mission to interrupt them every time they were in bed together. Nothing was worse then when Killer was finally giving him the touches that he craved, then when a light mewing was heard.

Killer always paused for them, and he knew that Killer loved how mad Night got when he did.

At lest tonight Killer was treating him and paying him his full attention. Perhaps he could convince him to come to his place and the two of them would finally get some private time...

“you good Moonpie?” asked his dinner companion, from across the table, and it was at that moment Nightmare realised he’d been staring slightly.

“oh...yeah...fine” he muttered, his eyes looking back at his menu. But it wasn’t long till he found himself looking at Killer again.. and then at Killer’s mouth.

“You can kiss me...if you want” He said, setting his menu to the side.

“oh, does his lord permit me to do such an act?” Killer snarked, sniggering like a school boy.

It was embarrassing how quickly it made purple heat colour Night’s cheeks.

“forget it!” he snapped.

Killer chuckled, as Nightmare hissed under his breath.

“Oh no...you cant take back your offer” he said, taking hold of Night’s cheek and pulling him over the table till their mouths met.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The food at this place, was simply delicious. It actually took quite a while for Nightmare to choose what it wanted. In the end it went with Bouillabaisse with a starter of Concombre a la Menthe.

Killer on the other hand spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out which dish would be the most filling for the price. It often irritated Nightmare when Killer completely missed the point of fine dinning...especially when he complained about portion sizes. He even had a habit of joking that the chef was cheap and trying to stave him, which often made his boyfriend mortified.

Sometimes Night just felt like ordering for him, it really wasn’t that hard to choose something to eat! His boyfriend’s lack of class...was frustrating.

But it was just a part of Killer, and it was something he was going to need to get used to...

In the end Killer finally made a selection, and ordered a bottle of wine for the table. The sly way he’d winked at Nightmare as he said “and one of your finest wines as a treat for my handsome boyfriend~” had drawn a slight smile out of him for a second, before his blush took it’s place.

Dam Killer and his stupid charming face....

it was wonderful to be with him.

Killer loved to take Night out on dates like this and he’d been trying to get more used to the things he liked. Fancy cooking wasn’t really his thing and plays and opera were very boring to him. Going to art shows and museums made him want to sleep, but he was getting used to it. He just liked making Moonpie happy and that’s what was important.

It wasn't long after the starters arrived, that a pare of young women approached the table. The 2 looked bashful and a little nervous, holding napkins in their hands sheepishly.

"um... Excuse me.." the first one said, swallowing nervously, as the two skeletons looked up.

"are you Killer Fwabas?"

The dark eyed skeleton leaned back in his seat with a smile spreading across his face..

"the one and only sweet heart"

He'd gestured to nightmare. "and my handsome companion-

" Nightmare Oku!" piped up one the second girl in the back.

Nightmare groaned and put his hand over his face.

" I'm not here "

He hated this part of his job. He came here to have a meal with his boyfriend, not be stared at like a zoo animal. Unfortunately for him, it seemed like Killer was going to indulge them, rather then turning them away. It frustrated him mildly, since they were on a date, but it couldn’t be helped....Killer would have his attention back on where it should be soon.

Killer sighed and shook his head. He didn't like a it when a lot of people were always coming at him, but he didn't mind indulging the occasional fan. It would take a lot for some of these people to talk to him, so the least he could do is chat for a few moments. Sometimes, nothing was better then making someone's day with a signature on a piece of paper.

" Nightlight is a little shy... " he said, cocking his head "but we can take a picture of you like?"

The group excitedly nodded their heads and the girl in front took out her phone.

After snapping a few photos, as Nightmare stared at the 3 of them from across the table, before he ignoredthe scene to eat his food, Killer took out and pen and sighed a napkin for them.

"to the most beautiful lady's in the restaurant~" he said with a wink.

Now that had brought Night's attention back.

Nightmare sat up a bit. He was flirting....

Of course he was only flirting with the fans... So it didn't mean anything... Killer was a flirty and lewd guy, Nighty had known that long before they’d even slept together for the first time. It was just who Killer was.... It’s not like he’d ever act on it...

But if he could flirt with them, who else could he flirt with?

No no Nightmare...you’re over thinking it...that's all...

"it's not every day I meet such gorgeous fans, If only I swung for the other team.."

The girls giggled amongst themselves, as Killer handed them the napkin and smiled. Nightmare shrank down in his chair, suddenly feeling like an awkward 3rd wheel.

It didn't mean anything.... It doesn't mean anything!

"..... "

He sipped his wine, desperately fighting against the little voice in his head, but to no luck, he felt sick...and Killer was too busy flirting to notice..

In an effort to attract his partners attention, Nightmare cleared his throat.

Killer gave him a glance before looking back at his fans.

Nightmare glared.

" now, I'm afraid my boyfriend seems to be feeling left out... So I should probably deal with him if I want any hope of getting laid tonight" he said with a wink.

"you ladies have a wonderful evening" he said, waving at them as they left, laughing and talking happily among themselves. before turning back to Nightmare.

Nightmare said nothing to him and wasn't even looking at him. His eyes were directed down at his plate, as he pushed his barely eaten starter around it.

“was my little moonbeam feeling left out, awww” he teased, gently running his foot against Night’s leg, under the table.

“tonight I'm going to be giving you a lot of attention...so don’t you worry..”

The flirtation of that comment, would normally have caused Nightmare’s face to burn brightly.

But it didn’t...he seemed like he hadn’t even been listening at all.

"....."

"nighty?"

He still said nothing, and just continued to play with his food.

This was odd...was he feeling ok? this wasn’t like him. His eye’s locked on the piece of vegetable that he was pushing around his plate.

"..... You know this whole meal is gonna cost me upwards of 2 to 3 hundred, the least you could do is eat it..."

Nightmare stabbed a peace of food with his fork violently, making Killer jump slightly.

"well the least you can do is not flirt with other people right in front of me."

Killer stiffened and glanced in the direction the two girls walked in. Was Nightmare serious? He couldn't be. Not only was that just the same casual flirting he did with everyone, but he was gay. He was very gay. Night had no reason to be jealous over girls, that was just ridiculous. He must have been joking.

He forced out a light chuckle.

"are.. Are you kidding me? They're just my fans Night, it's just harmless, I do it all the time"

Nightmare's fork clanged against the plate, as he dropped it and glared across the table.

"you have a boyfriend Killer" he hissed.

Confusion ran across Killer's face.

"so...?"

Nightmare continued to give him a hard stare, before going back to eat his food. Killer couldn't resist could he? He just had to flirt with anything that moved. Did he even know what commitment meant?! It frustrated him...

"do I really have to spell it out for you?!"

Killer blinked.

"so... That means no more flirting. With. Anyone. Ever."

The taller skeleton's eye sockets widened slightly, but his boyfriend’s stayed narrowed and cold as ice.

Flirting was harmless, he just did it for fun. Surely there wasn't anything wrong with it. Nightmare hated being flirted with anyway....His soul gave a twist.

"what? Night I was just messin-

"Ever!" Nightmare snapped.

Now it was Killer's turn to pick at his food, as he sheepishly looked down at his plate.

Right.... OK... It made sense he guessed... Nightmare was his boyfriend now so that obviously meant no more flirting... That was fine. Killer felt like an idiot for not thinking about that before.

Nightmare was the one who had wanted commitment in the first place, so he must have known more about these things work. It only made sense that he should go along with what he said. He did want this after all... This was what he wanted..

"......"

"sorry babe...."

The rest of the meal was eaten in near silence. Every possible conversion starter, felt extremely forced and always fizzled out quickly. Nothing either of them could do would make this less tense. Nothing they could say would turn the night round.

Killer had just wanted to do something nice...

Later the two split. All plans of later bedroom activities where long forgotten, as they went their separate ways home. No good night kiss, no good night text. It was cold. Ice cold and frosty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After getting home, Nightmare once again sub-came to his desires to drink wine until he passed out and could hopefully forget the ruined meal.

Was it fair what he'd said?

"...."

As he reached the bottom of the 4th glass of red, he pondered if he'd over reacted. Killer was an obnoxious flirt and always had been. From their first kiss till now Nightmare had been on the receiving end of many flirtatious comments. It was a part of Killer...

However, through all of this he'd come to feel like he was the only one who heard remarks like that... It was easy to get wrapped up in the play boy and basically forget the rest of the world exists. He was sweet... Sexual.... Romantic...

But his behaviour at dinner...

All of that had forcefully pulled Nightmare out of a romantic fantasy, even as he stared at the slightly crumpled flowers on his table, he just didn’t feel the same anymore. This whole night reminded him of their relationship's origins. The fights, the constant back and forth, the one sided desires on his part, and all the constant reminders he wasn’t Killer’s one.

It brought him back to the night he'd found another man in Killer's apartment...

He'd over reacted yes, but it wasn't too much to ask for Killer's focus to be on him right?

He considered apologising for his behaviour.... But how else would be get his point across. How else would he have Killer become the boyfriend he wanted?

If Killer stopped being so.... Then it would be a good thing right?

He finished his 5th glass.

It was a good thing.....

Killer just needed to be reminded who he was committed to.... Nightmare would help with that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next month came and went. Life carried on. The relationship carried on.

It was nothing particularly remarkable... Not as exciting as it was at the beginning, but that just meant that things were settling down to the new normal.

In order to make up for his behaviour with the fans, Killer took Nightmare out to an art show in the city, which Nightmare had to admit was sweet of him. He knew just how much Killer hated things like that, so he appreciated it quite a lot.

Killer's flirtatious habits still continued though. Of course it would take a bit of time, Nightmare didn't know what he expected, but he was there to help Killer stay focused.

Other then that problem, Nightmare was happy... He enjoyed being around Killer and being with Killer.

But...

Killer wasn't acting like he liked being around Nightmare.

Nightmare had tried not to let little thing bother him, but tiny nicks and chips where being taken out of his core.

Of course it as silly, and Night had made an effort to entertain him, but all the smiles creeped around the line of not looking genuine to him.

He’d tried to take part in things that he knew Killer enjoyed, such as taking him to a particularly loud and feral club. The whole environment had made Nightmare feel extremely uncomfortable.

The many strangers everywhere, the music pounding louder and faster then he could think, the smell of sweat and booze dripping off every inch of the place.... It was all to much, he would have given anything to be at home reading a book, to have Killer spoon him as they watched a movie in bed...just for Killer to be with him.

But Killer had disappeared into the crowd shortly after the two arrived, the sea of drunk strangers had swept him away into the middle of the party, as Nightmare felt battered from all sides. In the end he’d sat stood by the corner, just waiting for his boyfriend to come over, so they could leave.

But he didn’t...not for hours.

This whole night had caused Nightmare to blow up, yelling at a very drunk Killer for everything.

The fight hadn’t ended well, and it only caused Nightmare to worry more about Killer growing bored of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the end of the second month, Night’s nagging doubts still refused to leave him. His mind forcefully pushed the incompatibilities to the front of his mind, and that wasn’t all that was bothering him.

Outside of sex... Killer wasn't all that affectionate.. At least not a lot of the time. Of course Nightmare despised PDA, but he was getting a little lonely sometimes.

Sometimes he even felt he was walking around with a stranger next to him. It was during a double date with his brother and Cross he'd first noticed, and once he’d noticed, it had become impossible to ignore.

Dream would rest his head against Cross' shoulder. Cross would gently place his hand on Dream’s on the table. The two would sit close together and seemed to always be in some kind of physical contact. They would sometimes just look into each other’s eyes and share a peck on the mouth.

Killer and him... Well..

It was the little things that were killing him. All he wanted was for Killer to send him a good morning text. To check in. To hold his hand during an interview. To notice him.

Just a gentle hand on his shoulder, Killer catching his eye with a smile, a soft Kiss good night when they parted.

All things he could use to quiet the nagging voice inside. All things that reminded him that Killer cared.

But sometimes Killer didn’t even seem to notice he was there...

Instead he was two busy looking at other people.... He was clearly losing focus and feeling tempted to start sleeping around again. That was the only explanation.

Nightmare felt stronger and stronger that he needed to remind him he was there, to remind him that he had commitments.

He wanted some attention. He didn't wanna be treated this way. It wasn't fair.

It wasn’t right for Killer to act like this for no reason. He just wanted reassuring from time to time and for Killer to keep his attention on him.

Surely that wasn't much to ask for?

He had to become for direct with his methods perhaps?

Killer wasn't telling him anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer felt like he was struggling a little.

The relationship felt a little.... Uncomfortable..

The feeling started off small at first. Just a little thought... An inch in the back of your mind, one you brush off at first.

It was harder then being with someone no strings attached.... He’d known it would be going into it, it was a completely different situation with completely different rules. He had to constantly think about Nightmare and his feelings and had to make sure to keep in contact. Texts, calls, constant activity planning. That was fine, it was fine. Always being around one person. fine....

He’d been going to more of Nightlight’s shows and museums, recently. His boyfriend always talked enthusiastically about art and history, and the words would sometimes just roll off his tounge. It was endearing how elegant and well spoken the small skeleton was, and for the most part Killer loved to zone out to the sound of Night talking about something he didn’t understand. The way Night’s eyes lit up when he was talking about a passion made him smile.

But....it was all the time now.

When their relationship was confined to late night, desperate calls, and bursts of passion in a dressing room after filming, there was less time for talks like this, or Killer could listen to him as sleep crept over him.

But now..?

It was every day...and Nightmare demanded his full attention. If he so much as glanced around the room, his boyfriend would hiss at him. He was so needy, it was tiring.

Killer had spent a lot more time and effort in coming up with excuses to spend time alone, and found himself putting off answering texts.

Nightmare liked to text him every single day....

Every morning without fail, there was a message wishing him a good day. At first it had never failed to bring a smile to his face, but over time it felt like a daily chore he had to complete.

Half assing a simple “morning” was becoming increasingly boring to him and it was just silly. Why did he have to say good morning everyday? what was Nightmare looking for from him? Killer just didn’t see the point.

But if Killer was to ignore him? Oh boy..

Nightmare went cold as ice, distant, sad. However Nightmare was trying to manipulate him, he didn’t like it.

He was an attention seeker.

Killer couldn't as so much look at another guy without Nightmare hissing that he had a boyfriend now and needed to focus on that.

Just Nightmare now.

But did he have to be staring at him constantly?

Could he not check out a hotty on the street? go to a strip club? flirt for a free drink? Just things that gave him a sense of individuality...things he found fun?

But no, just art shows now.

“.....”

It was normal to feel this way right? It was normal to feel almost.... Scared...

This relationship was good for him, that's what everyone said. He couldn't keep sleeping around forever and he knew that. It was a simple fact that everyone needed to settle for one person in the end right? and just one.

Everyone was so happy that they were together. Cross was happy. Nightmare was happy. The fan base was happy. So he was happy. He didn't feel like he had clingfilm wrapped around his face at all. He didn't feel like everything was choking him.

He liked Nightmare and enjoyed being with Nightmare. He was happy with Nightmare.

But....

If this relationship went well, he'd only ever kiss Nightmare again...

He'd only ever sleep with Nightmare again....

It would only ever be Nightmare.

For some reason he didn't like that thought.

What was wrong with him? That was a stupid thought. It's not like he wanted to be with anyone else.

But... Something was missing.

Almost as if he wanted someone else to spend time with Night so he didn’t have to all the time.

But Nightmare was his boyfriend, his responsibility.

The idea of being with just one person forever made his non existent stomach twist in knots. He found himself staring at other guys, and having dirty thoughts about people other then Nightmare. Strong needs to run around grabbing a peace of every guy, having a taste of everything... To flirt, to kiss, to touch.

But that was normal right? All about adjusting.

Surely he'd get used to his new life... No more random strangers.... He'd just have to get used to it.... He wouldn’t miss his old ways soon. he’d grow to like this!

The same old thing... Over and over and over-

"Killer are you even listening to me!?"

“huh?”

A groan followed, coming from across the table. Nightmare had his eyes narrowed, his seemingly permanent scowl on his face.

"don't tell me you are drooling over the other men in here again!"

He said, snapping his fingers in Killer's face a few times.

“....”

"huh?" Killer repeated, coming out of his thoughts.

Nightmare scoffed "Killer..... I was talking to you"

"uh....right" Killer said, looking down at the table "what is it babe?"

Nightmare sipped his drink, his eyes still narrowed "I was just asking what you wanted to do for dinner? There's a new restaurant on main that I've been wanting to try and-

There it went. Planning for dinner. Just normal couple activities. He guessed this would be his life now, every date with one person.... No new experiences.... He'd just have to put up with Nightmare and his snobbery forever.

"....."

It was normal to feel sick right?

Nightmare sighed, as he noticed Killer wasn't paying attention to him again. This wasn’t uncommon and it made Nightmare feel small whenever he noticed it. His normal response to this, had been anger up to this point, but that had been less affective lately.

Maybe something was bothering him.

"Kills...is everything alright? You've been acting off...."

"...."

"it's fine.. I'd love to go there for dinner... Can you text me the name of it? I'll meet you" he said standing up.

"but aren't we going to do something for the rest of the day?"

"dam it Nightmare! Do I have to spend every waking minute with you? The taller snapped.

The purple eyed skeleton startled slightly, and let out a frustrated sigh, "fine"

Killer left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And for a while, things came too a stand still. Looking back on it, a month or so later, it was no wonder to him that things ended up like this.

If he’d been smart, he would have ended his relationship at this point, but he wasn’t. He was an idiot, who had been too sentimental and attached to Night, to let the toxic bastard go.

He tapped his cig with his finger a few times, watching the ash float softly to the ground near his feet.

Pointless.

At the time, if he’d known, he wouldn’t have bothered trying to fix things.

He wouldn’t have gone to Cross that same afternoon for advice...

He was starting to really question why it was Cross he felt himself turning to.

Sure, they were close but Cross’ advice hadn’t really proved to be helpful at this point. Killer had been starting to feel like all Cross was, was a walking advertisement to commitment, and the flex of how well his relationship was going, was to much sometimes.

But...he was a good listener.

Maybe that was why.

Whatever the reason, he’d found himself heading straight to Cross’ flat that day.

Dream and Cross had actually chosen quiet a nice area to rent in, not to far from a lot of restaurants and shops, as well as having a nice park near by for Cross’ pups to run around in. At the time that they had been looking at flats, Killer hadn’t understood why they had taken such a long time to find one. But, as he’d seen glimpses of them living their domestic lives....it was nice..

Their flat was about a 20 minute walk from where he’d left Nightmare, and despite having the money to pay for a lift, he’d chosen Just to walk it.

Spending time alone to think was something he’d been missing. So taking a walk to people watch, had been pleasant to him.

“....”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He made his way to Cross and Dream's flat, not bothering to text before hand. There was no time for that, he just really needed his buddy.

How was it that Cross and Dream's relationship was so different to his and Night's? When two people got together they were supposed to be happy weren't they?

Well.... He was happy... Of course he was. It just wasn't what he'd expected from years of listening to Cross go on and on about love, aghh.

Love was not a factor in his relationship with Nightmare, that was clear to him, and he was sure he was clear to people on the outside.

Him and Night weren’t in love, they weren’t falling in love and they weren't trying to. They were just dating, because they liked each other, that's all.

But then again...surely love was the goal right..

Nope...nope nope. That was a dangerous train of thought to go down.

He was glad when he reached the door and had an excuse to think about something other then love.

He knocked.

At first there was no answer, but there was a sound of small feet quickly running up to the door. One of the members of Cross' little pack it seemed.

Now it was always possible that they just weren’t home, but Killer had seen Cross’ car parked in the apartment parking space, and since he could hear his dogs, he had reason to believe he probably was.

No to mention it was about 9:30 currently, so where would they be anyway?

He knocked again.

Still no one answered the door.

However, whatever member of the wolf pack it was on the other side, started to bark at him through the wood. Now Killer wasn’t at all concerned about that, Cross’ puppers wouldn’t hurt a fly and were nothing but affectionate and sweet. Of course, Killer was still a huge cat person, but spending time with his mate’s fur children had increased his liking for them.

“Pancake, settle down, there’s a good boy” Killer heard, coming slightly muffled from the other side.

Bingo.

“Cross, it’s me, can I come in please.”

Silence.

He knocked again, a little frustrated, after hearing confirmation that he was there.

"Cross! Mate.. Its me, I need a buddy to complain to...." he wined through the door, sagging his body weight against it.

There was silence again.

Now Killer knew that it had been a slight dick move to just show up. But Cross had told him many times that he’s always be there for him, found brothers and all. Perhaps though, he should take the hint that maybe he didn’t want to talk in that moment.

He was just about to leave when he heard the sound of foot steps approaching from the other side, and the lock being clicked.

Hah, he knew his homie wouldn’t let him down.

Cross slowly opened the door and looked around it. He seemed a little annoyed about Killer being there, but Killer didn't pay much mind to it. It was fair, after he’d kind of just shown up.

"Killer.... This isn't a good time..." he said.

Killer just sighed deeply "well I need to talk! I'm having relationship drama...."

In an instant Cross' face of frustration changed to a look of concern. This wasn't the first time Killer had needed to talk to him about Nightmare. The two of them had been having quite a few problems early on, at least from Killer's point of view.

It had been quite a lot harder then either of them had originally anticipated, for Killer to adjust to being in a relationship. Which Nightmare didn't seem to have a lot of patience for.

There was a part of Cross that worried about the long time stability of their relationship, but after he'd pushed Killer to admit his feelings for so long, he didn’t want to admit that. He didn’t really have a right to try and impose after he’d been part of the cause of it. Not to mention, he had given up on a lot of his past relationships quite fast, so maybe he was wrong, and because of that, he felt like he had to do his best to support it.

"oh.... Then... I guess I can hear ya out mate"

He had been in the middle of something, but he could probably take a few minutes outside to hear him out.. Dream would understand.

But before he could step out, he felt Killer push past him into the flat. Clearly he’d taken Cross’ words as a sign to go in.

"what a morning! I just can't believe Night sometimes!"

"wait Killer-

" he's such a nag! I can't get five minutes too myself!" he continued, making his way into the living room.

" sometimes I don't know why i-

"....."

But all words left him, as he entered the living room.

Oh... Shit...

He was met with the sight of Dream, sat on the sofa, as they normally would. But the petite skeleton looked abnormally bashful, seeming to only be wearing Cross' hoodie, which was big enough on him to down just above the knee. He had a face of someone caught doing something they shouldn’t off, and their eye’s never left Killer’s for a second

The blank eyed skeleton was completely frozen on the spot, mortified, as all the pieces slid into place for him. It wasn’t long before Cross came in after him, slightly frazzled and looking a little angry.

"Killer!"

"ehh.. You found Dream..."

The scattered clothes on the floor and Cross' clearly hastily thrown on, back to front T-shirt, that Killer had just noticed, confirmed to Killer the reason why Cross hadn't answered right away.

Oopsy...that should have been obvious.

"oh..."

"oh goodness I'm so sorry! Looks like I interrupted something..."

‘Oh Killer you utter utter moron’ He thought, locking his eyes to the ground. Maybe if he stared at it long enough, it would crack open and swallow him whole.

He half expected Cross to grab him by the collar of his shirt and drag him out, telling him to never come back. There was a part of him that wished he would, he’d feel less embarrassed without the stone cold silence.

But just as he felt like sprinting from the place and never returning, the golden eyed Skeleton broke into a fit of giggles.

"it's ok! Really"

Relief washed over him, like being plunged in a hot bath. Oh thank goodness, he wasn’t upset, Killer felt like laughing himself, as the anxiety dispersed. Well, that was one way to take his mind off Night.

Cross grumbled, stepping out from behind Killer and walking to the sofa. There was an angry blush was spreading across his cheeks, one Killer could recognise from a mile away.

"we were.... Doing yoga"

Killer's expression of horror, slowly shifted into one of smug satisfaction at those words. Oh come on, Cross was just baiting him now.

"oh really mate? So early?"

"good for you~"

Perhaps, after such a close call, he should have behaved himself, but he couldn’t resist a little fun.

"shut up!" Cross barked, an embarrassed anger in his eyes. "you are not to say one more word about this!"

Sensing Cross getting angry, Dream got to his feet and quickly walked over, placing a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"it's ok honey, really, take a breath"

"but he!"

"Crossy...." Dream said softly, making his eyes wide in a puppy-dog fashion.

The purple blush on Cross' face spread, but his shoulders un-tensed a bit. His slight anger issues were getting better, and Killer wouldn't blame him for being mad in this moment. It was nice to see that, with Dream's support, it was getting easier to calm himself.

Killer smiled slightly, seeing in person how much better Cross was coping, But his smile wavered when it came with the knowledge that Cross' relationship was so much more stable.

"OK sunshine..." he mumbled, moving his hand to try and pull the hoodie further down to cover Dream's legs.

Killer chuckled slightly and turned his face away from them. The sour look that Cross was giving him, was a pretty clear indication that he didn't like Killer looking at his boyfriend while in a compromising outfit.

As much as he knew Cross cared a lot for him, this situation was clearly making his friend irritated by his presence. But who could blame him? Killer couldn't. He'd have acted the same way of Cross had interrupted something like that.

In an attempt to sooth the tension in the atmosphere, he hummed to himself a bit and rocked back and forth on his heels.

"This has been fun... but maybe I should get goin' and talk to ya later...."

"well...." Cross started, but Dream gave his arm a squeeze.

"Killer.... You are obviously upset.... And it sounds like it's with my brother..."

"maybe I can help you! Since you're already here"

Maybe stunned would be a strong word for how Killer felt at that statement, but he was decently surprised. Dream was calm, and seemingly caring more about Killer’s feeling then his own at this moment.

He was so so different to Nightmare....

As Killer turned his gaze back to the two of them, he kept his eyes locked with Dream's, to avoid any issues.

"really?... This isn't the best time for you..."

Dream simply nodded. "it's fineeee, we hadn't even fully started the yoga anyway"

A smile found it's way onto Killer's face. Dream was certainly an odd ball. Anyone else would have wanted Killer out as soon as possible, but it seemed that Dream was anything other than prude, and felt no issues in talking to Killer in his current state.

Cross on the other hand was clearly bothered by it, but wasn't going to say anything if Dream wasn't uncomfortable. He did however move behind him and wrap his arms gently around their waist. A soft gesture for Dream and a clear message for Killer.

"just don't....hang out to long...." the gold eyed skeleton said, leaning back against Cross a bit, who grumbled.

"are you sure guys?..." Killer asked, glancing at his found brother "you guys are busy after all..."

His brother gave a long, irritated sigh.

"just talk mate...."

He rested his chin on his small boyfriends head and took a breath.

"You're unhappy..." he said, with a softened tone.

Killer nodded

"that's one way to put it...."

Unhappy was probably the wrong word, maybe more.... Uncomfortable?

He wasn’t really sure...but if they really wanted to listen, then it wouldn’t hurt to vent some of his feelings right?

At first Killer tried to condense his words into simple explanations, not wanting to over stay his already frosty welcome. But pretty soon it became clear that it wouldn’t be that easy. Once he’s started, it became harder and harder to stop, almost feeling like a plug being pulled, like he'd been holding his breath for a long time without realising.

He started to run through his problems in a fast, unbroken stream of ranting and pent up frustration. He went on and on about Nightmare being so clingy, and needing to text him everyday, and how he couldn't get 5 minutes to himself and his fur babies any more.

Cross and Dream just listened. Nodding every so often to indicate they were listening.

"sometimes I just wanna stay at home, alone, and watch a sappy rom com with my fluffy children. Is that so much to ask?? Can't I just watch a cheesy movie without someone pointing out all the plot and character flaws?!"

"Did you know Nighty hates my babies as well!? I feel like I haven't got to spend proper time with them since going into this relationship! Because we just need to be together all the time-

-have you tried talking to him?"

"huh?"

Dream had been so quiet the whole time he was talking, that it almost startled him to hear their voice.

"have you tired talking to him?" Dream repeated, tilting his head to the side.

Killer was certain that he must have looked like on idiot, as all he could manage was.

"uhh"

His mouth slightly open, just staring blankly at Dream. That was a good point.... But he'd talked to Night about this plenty.

"of course I have! He just doesn't listen"

"Doesn't he?" Dream asked again, a little too sweetly for Killer’s liking. A kind of sickly sweet, borderline condescending tone. It made Killer's blood boil slightly, but he knew better then to snap at him, with Cross watching him like a guard dog.

"Look. He just gets mad when I tell him to leave me alone. Or I don't answer my phone for a few days because I need space! He just blows up..."

"Well.... I can understand why he'd be upset if you just ghost him without warning" Little Light continued, fiddling with the ends of his sleeves. "even if I also understand why you are"

"And to me... it... just sounds like Night wants to spend time with you..." Cross finally interjected "it's an important part of being in a relationship with someone"

A long sigh left Killer's mouth.

"I didn't know it would be so much work..."

Killer liked a lot of things about the relationship life, he liked being able to spoil Night and treat him. He liked having someone to eat breakfast with in the morning, and tease from the other side of the table. It was nice to have dates that didn’t only end in sleep overs, because he enjoyed the company to an extent.

But despite all the good parts, he was really missing a lot of things about the single life.

He missed being able to just waste time shopping for new cat toys. He missed being able to just choose too have a duvet day without having to get permission. He missed just being able to get food, or go out for a night without needing to consider anyone else.

He was even starting to miss having his bed to himself.

These all had started as tiny thoughts in the back of his mind, barely even there. But as time had gone on, they'd gotten louder and louder, battering him and banging around in his head constantly like cymbals.

"I just don't want him there all the time! I feel like I'm walking on egg shells"

"I can't flirt with anyone, or talk to any attractive men without him over reacting"

"You have no idea the crap he'd give me if he knew I was talking to you dressed like that."

A light blush coloured Dream's cheeks, and Cross' hand once again pulled the hoodie down a bit. The simple acts of protectiveness and affection made Killer’s soul twist in his chest, and sadness follow after.

"well.... I know my brother has always had a tendency to over exaggerate...." Dream said, sighing deeply. There was sadness in their eyes for a moment, probably a reflection of the still partly strained nature of their relationship.

"And I know it's uh... In your nature to flirt? And your charisma is what attracted my brother to you in the first place"

"But... I can understand why he's upset.... It wouldn't be nice to hear your partner talking about others all the time..."

Like the good whipped dog he was, Cross nodded in agreement.

"I wouldn't like it if Dreamboat flirted with others...."

The grip he had on Dream tightened slightly, and Dream gently placed a hand across his in response.

Killer narrowed his eyes and inwardly groaned. Of course they agreed with Night. Of course they were blaming him. It was alllllways his fault after all. He was the screw up, the bad boy, the idiot. He'd heard it all before at lest 100 times, and at least 90 of those times were Night.

Sometimes.... He wondered if he was just... A bad person.

"....."

It was so frustrating.

"Oh for crying out loud! You two sound just like him!" he snapped, causing Dream to flinch a little. Killer though, either didn't notice, or didn't care. He was suddenly feeling mad.

"Because it's always my fault isn't it!"

"You can't bare the thought of your precious brother being the one in the wrong for a change!"

He basically hissed and ran his hand down the front of his face.

"You know, I 'flirted' with some girls a while back and he completely flipped out! I'm gay! He knows I'm gay! I have no intention of anything with any woman"

"But nooooooo I was still obviously lookin' for a hook up cuz I have noooo control over myself! I'm a bloody animal and Nightmare is sooo smart and justified right?!"

"Killer that's enough." Cross said, near growling as he drew Dream's small frame closer to his chest.

"You know I love ya mate, but I won't have you speaking like that..."

His expression softened again, "take a breath, this isn't like you"

Killer paused for a moment, taking time to stare at the floor, and still his racing soul.

He was right.... This wasn't like him. He never really yelled at anyone, other then Nightmare. He didn't consider himself to be someone who got angry easily... At least not anymore.

Weird...

"....."

"Sorry..."

Dream's eyes became soft with sympathy, and after squeezing Cross' hand lightly, they stepped out of his embrace.

"Killer... You know I agree with you"

"It sounds like Nightmare over reacted about those girls"

Gently, he placed a hand on Killer's shoulder.

"And for your information.... I don't believe my brother can do no wrong... Quite the opposite really"

"But... I just think these things are normal"

"...."

Why had he come here... What had he been hoping for? Perhaps just someone to listen, someone to tell him that this wasn't how he was meant to feel, his non-existent stomach was twisting in knots. It felt like he'd been on a roller coaster non stop for hours and been suddenly made to get off.

"Is it?...."

"I guess I don't have a lot of experience to go off..."

Maybe he was just selfish for wanting time to himself. Perhaps he'd been cruel the whole time.

"......Killer...."

The hand on his shoulder moved away.

"I meant that it's normal that you feel like this"

"You've been single for a long time, it's a lot of change and I get it, it's completely fair"

Huh...

So maybe Night was wrong then...

"But..."

Of course... There was a but...

The golden skeleton walked back over to his partner, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Part of being in a relationship, is being with that person"

"That doesn't mean that getting your own time isn't important though" Cross clarified, placing a hand on Dream's arm:

"I walk my pups every afternoon alone for one, and Dream likes to go to Zumba without me"

"But... If you don't wanna be around them, then why be with them?"

"Maybe Night's not clingy, it's just that you are not used to it"

"......"

Maybe... Maybe they were right. Perhaps his inexperience had caused him to exaggerate Nightmare's behaviour, it probably wasn't that clingy. It was probably just all baby steps and his feelings of doubt were just him getting used to things. Yeah, yeah that made sense.

Why was it that he was placing so much hostility on Nightmare anyway? He was his boyfriend, it's not like he didn't like him, and didn't feel happy when they had their soft moments. Some of the spark had been dwindling for alittle, but that was fine.

Dam...He really needed to correct himself before he did something stupid. If he just stuck to it and forced himself to focus more, he'd get used to it eventually.

-alking about bounderys.... "

"huh?" killer said, looking up. He'd clearly zoned out for a moment and completely missed what Lil-light had been saying.

Dream just blinked and shook his head.

"Just...."

"No I get what you mean Dream" Killer said, reapplying his classic smile.

Dream raised a non-existent eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.

“Just need more practise, that’s all”

Dream sighed and shock their head.

"You are doing a good job you know" the golden eyed skeleton said, smiling wide "Night sent me a pic of those roses and a very long text gushing about how much he liked them"

Dream giggled.

"It was like talking to a teenager about their crush"

Colour flooded to Killer's cheeks, along with a real smile. Moonpie really liked them huh? A soft warmth spread through him remembering the way he'd smiled, the happiness in his eyes, the violet blush... It had been wonderful.

"He really did huh?...."

"yep! You make him really really happy killer!”

“And he makes you happy too right!?"

Killer found himself looking at the wall for a moment, before back at them.

"............ Yeah... Yeah he does"

"Then that's your answer!" Dream said, beaming, before, not so subtlety, pushing Cross back a bit so he'd fall back to sitting on the sofa.

"You two are good together, and in the end you'll be good for each other"

Killer glanced at Cross, and then back at Dream. The small skeleton was about as subtle as a bright pink sparkly hat with that message, and judging by the purple blush spreading across his mates face, he’d gotten it to.

It was time that Killer took his leave.

He chuckled "thanks guys... I appreciate it"

"No problem!" Dream replied, gently sitting himself in Cross' lap with a smile "You can talk anytime!"

"Call first though....." Cross muttered, almost completely transfixed by his partner.

With a final laugh, Killer turned his back on them.

"Enjoy your yoga guys"

"Don't strain your back Crossyyyy" he said, walking out of the living room.

"Killer!"

~~~~~~~~~~

As the day went on, after Killer had left him, Nightmare had started feeling more and more unsure about things. He wasn’t sure what had caused Killer to snap at him that morning, but it hadn’t left his mind since.

Just as he’d been asked, he’d texted Killer the name of the place and a time to meet for dinner, but it was starting to feel more and more likely that he’d be dining alone... again.

Nightmare’s phone lay silent on the table in front of him. Killer still hadn't responded.

What was happening to them? Things had been so much less awkward when this had all began.

Nightmare had considered asking his brother for advice... But the voice inside his head had told him repeatedly not to bother. It whispered that Dream would only use it as an opportunity to wave his relationship with Cross around. To tell Nightmare everything he was doing wrong. How he was a bad partner. How he didn't deserve love.

Or maybe that was all what Nightmare was just telling himself already...

"....."

Of course Dream wouldn't actually say that... But he still didn't wanna talk to him and admit how badly things were going. Especially since Dream’s relationship was only on the up rise and he knew how disappointed his brother would be to hear about it all.

Everyone treated their relationship like the perfect celebrity romance. A passionate affair that had shifted into a deep and honest connection. Like the two of them where meant to be. Like it was going to last...

But Night couldn’t see it anymore. The fairy-tale ending was supposed to come now, he’d finally admitted is feelings to Killer.

But no...it just didn’t feel right, and he just didn’t know what to do anymore.

"...."

What did his feelings even mean anymore?

Killer had been so attentive at the start....

“.....”

He sighed and reached for the glass of Rosé on the table in front of him.

Nightmare had been drinking a lot more wine recently.

Of course there was no reason to be worried about the glass or two he used to have with dinner every so often. But it was becoming a new bottle every few days. He hadn't really noticed himself drinking it more. He'd just noticed needing to restock more often.

Again, it was fine though, he had just been trying a lot more different kinds, and going through them faster. He figured that it might have partly been due to the stress of his sinking relationship as well, that had caused him to feel the need to unwind with it more. He didn't really have many other ways to let out built up stress. Other then-

And then it hit him.

They hadn't slept together in a while... A long while. A few weeks at lest.

Huh...

Nightmare knew that he shouldn't let that worry him and that he didn’t need anything else to over think about. But now that he’d realised, it was taking up his full thought pattern.

He tried not to dwell on that, as he waited for Killer in the restaurant...But he couldn’t help it.

It really shouldn't have been a big deal. Couples went through dry spells! It was completely normal and understandable.

But then again...Killer never went a few days without flirty comments and touches. Nightmare had practically spent the first few months of their relationship with a constantly sore back and legs. But now? Nothing.

How had he never noticed it before?

He poured himself another glass from the wine he'd ordered for the table. It was alright. They were having a romantic meal tonight, surely he'd show up and Night would be brought back to Killer's flat for a good time. Killer would say something. He had to-

"Hey Nighty"

The purple eyed skeleton jumped, slightly too much, splashing wine on himself.

"Killer!"

As he looked up, he was shocked to find himself presented with a single pink rose.

"Hey... I'm sorry about earlier... I was in a bad mood"

Oh be still his beating heart. He could do nothing but stare at the rose, then up at his partner who was giving him a soft smile. The kind of smile that melted your soul and left you hugging your pillow at night. The kind of smile that he always longed to see from the flirty jerk.

It was embarrassing how long he was staring at him and those deep... Beautiful eyes...

"Killer...."

His cheeks flushed vibrant purple, as he noticed himself staring and snapped his gaze to his glass.

"Oh... Its..."

He let himself smile, as he meet Killer's enchanting gaze again.

"It's fine...Really"

He took the rose. "thank you..."

Killer's classic grin returned, as he sat himself across from his partner.

"No its not.. I shouldn't have snapped at you" he sighed and pulled off his hoodie, setting it on the arm of the chair.

"I think I've just been stressed with work... I've just been asked to be in a short film... And my agent is being all... "

He flapped his hands and made a hissy noise.

"You know"

Night chuckled. He did know, his agent could get as feral as a vulture around roles to play. It's not like Nightmare didn't have people wanting him to be in things, he was becoming more famous by the day.

"Yep I know alright" he shook his head, setting the rose down on the table "what's the film about?"

Killer shrugged "I don't know the full story... Something about Killer meeting Colour and escaping the clutches of evil blah blah"

Nightmare kept his smile on his face and set his glass of wine down. Clearly, he'd just been getting all worked up over nothing. Killer was here, with him, and they were fine. He was being his charming and sweet self, there was no need to bring up his concerns and ruin the moment. Everything was going to be alright.

"Either way babe... I'm sorry for getting snippy, I'll make it up to you tonight I promise"

The purple flush on Night's face deepened, as a bolt of heat rushed to his core. He looked away, trying to rein in his sudden excitement. But it was hard to when he let his mind wonder a little.

"Really?"

Saliva gathered on his tounge, as he felt a strong desire to kiss the skeleton in front of him.

Killer smiled

"Yep! And I'm gonna start by paying for this meal... You can get anything you want"

"Oh I know what I want" he replied without thinking and sheepishly directed his eyes back at the menu.

Dam... He guessed it was just the idea of things between then going back to normal that was making him feel so eager. It seemed like him and Killer had hit a little bump in the last month, but things were getting back on track.

He smiled again, before neutralising his face again. It was sure to be a lovely evening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meal was quite nice. Though the two didn't talk about much. It was still a little awkward in spots, but for the most part, it past by without a hitch.

After dinner, Killer had walked Nightmare home, rather then taxi. The two had enjoyed a simple walk and talk, enjoying the sound of the city buzzing around them. Very subtly and gently, intertwining their hands together.

Now, Night wasn’t much for showing their relationship off in a public way, but tonight had felt a little different. He felt like he’d wanted to try.

This, out of character, action didn’t go unnoticed by Killer, who chose to lightly squeeze his hand, rather then tease him about it. Though a part of him felt slightly less genuine about it, he still enjoyed the gesture.

The kiss was short, as Night didn’t feel like he had long too linger on it. He’d found himself unlocking some kind of desperate desire within him that made his face burn to think of.

It wasn't long after he'd invited him in, that Night sat Killer down on the sofa and kissed him. It was true that he hated public displays of affection, but now they were alone he could do everything that he’d wanted to at the restaurant.

Realising how long at had been, drove him further and further away from the voice in his head that shamed him, He couldn’t be bothered to listen to it now.

Once they had gotten back to his apartment, Night had wasted no time inviting him for coffee. He didn't even feel like dwelling on being subtle right now, he wanted to move along, so they could reunite their bodies and reunite theirselves.

Killer was probably going to tease the heck out of him for acting this way, but he didn’t care, he just wanted him.

Nightmare hummed and nuzzled his face against Killer's neck gently. He thought the timid, cat-like approach could get Killer in the mood. It had worked in the past and, to be fair, doing less had worked in the past.

His boyfriend always loved to focus on his neck bones for a while, planting it with soft kisses and often leaving embarrassing marks. Night had a collection of long scarfs under his bed for this reason. Killer could be such a jerk...but he’d missed him. He’d missed this.

In spending so much time worrying about Killer looking at other men, Night had been starting to miss the point of being around him.

He wouldn’t miss it tonight.

However as Nightmare planted a soft kiss against his neck, Killer stiffened.

Night was trying to start something? Now that was rare.

His boyfriend was the type to like to act like he had no base desires, and that he had no need to take part in carnal activities. It was a mask that Killer had loved to pull down, and expose what lay underneath. It is what had driven them together and had continued to drive the blank eyed skeleton crazy for years.

It was not often that he'd let even the slightest hint of desire escape him, let alone want to start something out right. It made Killer's cheeks tint and soul beat. Dam.... He must have been desperate... Killer loved that.

Or well... Killer normally loved that.

On any other day, this would have done wonders for Killer. It would have driven him, like an animal in heat, to enjoy every inch of the small skeleton, But... Tonight lust didn't strike.

After being a very.....active person for most of his life, it made feelings of want in himself easy to recognise. He knew those feelings all too well and tonight he wasn't getting it. There didn’t seem to be any reason in particular why, more just something holding him back. A nagging feeling of built up frustration and longing in this head, acting as a strong blocker.

He felt bad for a second. It probably took a lot for Nightmare to make a move on him. He knew it was something that he always struggled with.

But he couldn't force himself to feel it. He couldn't make himself do it. He'd long since promised himself he'd never feel like he had to again.

Not tonight.... He wasn't in the mood.

He gently placed his hand against Night's chest and pushed him back.

"not in the mood babe"

But... Since when was Killer not in the mood.

Now....if it had been someone else, Nightmare wouldn’t have said a single word more on the matter. But...Killer?

The burn, the roughness.... The passion. Craving for Killer desperately. Wanting to be touched and kissed and enjoyed. Treated like he was desirable and attractive. No matter how much he acted like he hated when Killer flirted or expressed his inner carnal feelings, he didn't. He never had.

Killer had the libido to rival a rabbit in breeding season. Something that had left Nightmare sore and aching in the past. It was a feeling he'd used to detest. But since in the resent weeks he hadn't had it, now he was finding himself longing for satisfying pain.

He'd never had someone make him feel so wanted.

Nightmare felt dread drop in his soul fast, as his fears were seemingly confirmed.

But now... It was gone.

"you.... Aren't?"

"nope"

It was probably bad how frustrated Nightmare felt. It was wrong to be angry that someone didn't want to do the deed. He knew it was wrong, but yet the frustration bubbled. The stream hissed and burnt him. Then the sadness and dread fell on him like ice cold rain.

Killer made Nightmare feel a lot of things, angry, tried, irritated. But the blank eyed skeleton had never made him feel so.... Unwanted..

"oh...."

He stiffened, and propped his back up against the sofa backing. He didn't want Killer to see the pain in his eyes and tried to hide it in his voice. He couldn’t let himself look weak and pathetic.

Killer glanced at him, noticing the near visible wilt Night was displaying, after being rejected.

He felt bad again, when he saw him. Maybe he was being a bit cruel... How long had it been since they last had? Surely it wouldn't be a lot of effort to be respiratory.

But almost as soon as that thought crossed his mind, something cut across it, sharp as a knife.

Why should I feel bad for not wanting it.?

He shouldn't! That's right! No! It was wrong of Nightmare to make him feel bad. It was his body and his choice now. He could say no. Nightmare had no right at all! He wasn’t going to fall for this crap...it was just another thing for Nightmare to start complaining about.

And even if it had been a while since the last time, so what? It wasn't all his fault. It was hard to get excited for something that he'd gotten so use to. It was always the same with nightmare anyway.

"A bit out of character for you" Night said to himself glumly.

A sigh of annoyance came from Killer, as the anger licked against his bones.

"I'm just not interested babe."

"But you always....I don't understand why you-"

"If you'd had nothing but spaghetti for every meal, you'd not want to eat it again would ya?" killer snapped.

"I don't want you, so you can't make me! Drop it and grow up"

"So.........I'm boring... That's what you're saying?"

Dread and insecurity flooded into him and sent his soul spinning.

He felt numb, lost, empty. He was suddenly back in secondary school, being invisible to every other student, being shoulder checked in the hallways and eating lunch alone. He...he was lonely...

Nightmare froze, feeling suddenly quite sick. Maybe Killer hadn't meant that to sound the way it did, but then again what else could he have meant?

Killer let out a long sigh, as if every word was draining or extremely hard work.

"I didn't mean it like that"

"....."

But then again... What had he meant by that? As he replayed his words in his head, he could instantly understand why Nightmare responded that way. He had half a mind of say something to take it back, but he said nothing.

"Yeah...you did.."

"Say it... You're bored"

His non-existent throat felt tight, as a hurricane of emotions swept him up. He had really said that. It all made sense now.. Killer was acting this way because he was bored... He was gonna leave him... He wasn't good enough. He couldn't tie him down. He’d only been used as a play thing, a toy getting thrown out of the pram. He was all used up.

"Y-you jerk! You frick boy, you're bored"

Not to mention it wasn't his fault anyway! It wasn't up to him to make Nightmare more interesting.

Oh here we go, he was over reacting again. Killer hadn't used to notice just how frustratingly reactive Nightmare was. Mostly because he'd always enjoyed pissing him of in some way or another. But now? This wasn't a big deal at all! And Night was blowing up over nothing.

"Well what do you want me to say huh?" he asked, snapping a look in Night's direction.

Killer threw his arms in the air in an exaggerated fashion.

"You're easy too read?... Predictable?... One or the other"

"I wanna do it, you act like you don't and make me work for it, I tease, and touch, and flirt, until you beg"

He sighed again, and pinched the bridge of his noise.

"It's always the same, and it's hard work, so maybe it makes it boring sometimes" he admitted.

"If you want it, then maybe you could try spicing it up or something? Maybe initiate?"

Nightmare stared at him, his eyes slightly widened. What the heck?? how was that his fault, Killer had never once acted like he didn’t enjoy the way they were with each other. How was Nightmare suppose to read his mind?! And he’d just tried to do something different by starting it himself!! so what was the jack-ass going on about!?

"Spice.....Spice it up!! What do you want me to do!?"

"All I can ever do it lay there, because you havvvvvvve to be on top allll the time or you get pathetic and shivery"

How dare he.....he had no idea how hard that was. The struggle it had been for Killer to give himself to him. No idea! The selfish snob couldn't even pretend to care....

Killer never should have let him have his way with him that night. In that moment, he’d never felt more embarrassed.

"You....."

Killer's face burned red with shame. So he was really going to throw that in his face!? That wasn't fair in the slightest.

He clenched his jaw and swallowed down his frustration at that comment, but it couldn't mask the anger for the rest of it.

"You really need it spelled put for you?! Put in more effort?? Seriously..."

Night's purple eyes burned bright. The blue, seeping into the violet, as an outer reflection of his inner anger. Oh how he hated him in that moment. How dare the asshole blame him for this. Killer never told him anything! ANYTHING!

" WELL YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING!" he yelled.

"How I'm I supposed to know you are having problems if you don't talk to me?!! It's not my fault you are tight lipped unless you wanna flirt with some rando"

So... He was still mad about that? That was a month ago. Was he serious?

Killer forced a laugh.

"You're still mad about those women in the restaurant aren't ya? Seriously I had no idea you were such a petty sod"

Maybe he should have seen this coming. After all, Nightmare had held onto a pointless grudge with his brother, over the actions of other people from their childhood. He'd been bitter over Killer's cats interrupting a make out session once, and demanded that they be shut out of the bedroom when he slept over from then on.

"Petty! How dare you! You-

"Oh here we go" Killer said, cutting in sharp as a knife "it's always my fault isn't it!? Every argument and problem is my fault!"

"You never talk to me either! You stuck up hypocrite"

Nightmare just stared at him, his thoughts running all over the place. His cheeks flushed, his eyes tinted blue, his hands balled.

"Well Killer.... Unlike you! Sex is not all I think about."

"I think about more important things"

"Ha!"

Ha?... Did Killer just...

"That's a laugh Night!"

That asshole!

"Excuse me!" he hissed.

"You heard me!" he snapped "you self righteous ass...."

"You know... That's your problem Night....

Killer's eyes no longer looked beautiful. They were no longer deep and magical as the night sky. They looked dark and foreboding, hollow and cruel. For the first time in his life, Nightmare couldn't bare to look at them. He was frozen and shocked for a second, nearly frightened by the difference he saw.

"You look down your noise at everyone, and can't take even the slightest of criticisms before you get pissed"

As Killer looked directly at him, his eyes were different.

"....." Nightmare looked to the floor, anything to avoid those eyes and the purely spiteful way Killer was looking at him.

He wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t cry...he wouldn’t.

"WELL THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE IF I'M SUCH A HUGE BORE?!" he snapped. "IF IT'S SO HORRIBLE, THEN LEAVE! I DON'T NEED TO TAKE YOUR CRAP"

He wouldn't...he w-wouldn't.

"I swear, you are driving me crazy-

Silence.

"I don't wanna be around you 24/7! It's always such a huge effort!"

Neither skeleton said a word, as all the loud noise in the room faded away into the loudest of silences. Nightmare's throat burned, ragged from the fast breathes and loud shouting. Still, he couldn't look Killer in the eyes. It was a stranger in front of him. It wasn't the beautiful eyed playboy he'd fallen in lov-

"......."

Dam.... What a moment to realise that....

Did he?...

No, no, he was hopped up on adrenaline, of course he didn’t. He didn’t know what he was thinking anymore.

Killer sighed deeply, his glaze falling on his smaller boyfriend once more.

".....Yeah... Why am I here..."

Nightmare looked up, but Killer looked away. He walked back to the sofa, and picked up his jacket, slinging it over his shoulder.

"I'm goin' out... Don't wait up, I Don't know when I'll be back"

It was a horrible feeling. Night's soul twisted and wrenched, fighting with itself over the desire to hug Killer and beg him to stay, and to shove him and tell him to leave. His mouth was dry, as Killer walked to the door.

"You.... Don't you go out and start flirting wit-

"Oh screw you Nightmare!!"

"....."

And a second later, he was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well he'd tried. He'd dam well tired. But again it wasn't good enough.

What the bloody hell was he supposed to do? All his boyfriend ever did was complain about something, complain about him. If Nightmare really hated him that much, then why bother with trying?

Killer sighed and slammed a 20 down on the bar top in front of him. He knew this bar well, it had used to be his favourite place to detox and relax, and find new...... friends.

Because of this, the bar tender knew his tastes very well and presented him with a beautiful fruity, cocktail, which instantly made him feel better, when he looked at it.

He'd missed this place.

He really missed this place...

It had been a long time since he’d even been out by himself. Nightmare had gotten uncomfortable about Killer going out drinking in bars alone, but even after Killer had offered to take him with, it hadn’t been enough. Night told him that bars weren't worth it, and that it was better to drink at home or in a restaurant. Killer knew that was bull shit.

"thanks" He said, nodding to the tender, who slid his change across the bar counter.

Nothing, but because not everything on the menu costed an arm and a leg, it wasn’t good enough for Nightmare.

Killer didn’t really enjoy the kind of fancy, uptight establishments that his boyfriend liked to go to. He often felt extremely out of place when there, trying to figure out what fork was for what, drinking nasty wines older then him and dealing with sitting in ‘proper’ clothes. Seriously, what was wrong with a nice relaxed cocktail bar?

It short, it was completely ridiculous.

Nightmare's real reason for keeping him away from this place, was his relentless jealousy and snobbish behaviour.

He took a long drink from his glass, letting the sweet, yet bitter flavour of the booze, wash over his whole mouth and wrap carefully around his tounge.

"mmmm.."

Dam that was good.

He sighed, closing his eyes, and leaning back a bit, licking the rest off the taste from his teeth.

Killer already felt some kind of weight lifted, in a sense. There was something really, really satisfying about finally being alone and back in his old hang out.

To his credit, Nightmare had come too one with him once before, but he had clearly not even been willing to give it so much as a try. All he’d done is sit over in the corner like a loser, and decided to yell at Killer for getting drunk! It’s not Killer’s fault that his boyfriend had chosen to have a tantrum in the corner, rather the come and find him.

If he had to always put up with Nightmare’s boring hobbies, then why couldn’t Night come with him to a club?

He took a long breath in and sighed, rising the glass back to his mouth to take another sip.

It felt unfair to him that he was still always expected to be dragged along to the fanciest restaurants and most stuck up wine clubs.

It wasn’t really healthy for him to keep thinking about Nightmare right now, it made him too angry too rationally think about things.

He decided to clear his mind and focus on enjoying his drink instead.

For a while, he felt better. But it didn’t last, as he became aware, of someone sitting down in the spot next to him. Which was confirmed when he heard.

"Can I buy you a drink handsome?"

"......."

A line that Killer had both heard, and spoke many times.

He was startled for a second, before setting his glass down, and turning in the direction of the voice.

A human who appeared to be in his late 20s. Hmm...

Something deep in Killer seemed to purr slightly at the sight. An animal licking his chops, as prey came into view. He ignored it and said nothing, only continuing to stare at this stranger for a few moments.

"You talkin' to me?"

He sipped his drink again.

The man smirked, and drummed his fingers on the bar top.

He looked familiar.... In some kind of way.

"Of course Killer.... Are there any other gorgeous skeletons such as yourself in here?"

Ah, so it seemed that he might have known him them. He racked his brain, trying to remember. A fan maybe? Someone he slept with in the past? He didn't realise he was staring, until they laughed.

"You don't recognise me? And here I was thinking we had something special..." he wined in a fake sadness, before smirking and snapping his fingers at the bar tender to order a shot.

Hmmm.......the pieces were lining up now. An old buddy he figured... He'd had many in the past, so at one point they mostly blurred together.

"........ We've slept together, haven't we?"

The man took his shot and smiled.

"So he remembers hmmm?"

"It was just one night, club in New York"

Oh! He remembered now, he'd been up there for a meet and great around a year and half ago. It had been one hell of a night after a long day of seeing fans, him and Nightmare had been just hooking up at the time.

Dam... That kind of life felt almost alien to him now. So different to what he had now....Almost like thinking about a different person all together, a stranger, who partied, slept around and had no ties too anything. He couldn't stop thinking about it.

The drinking, the partying... The men.....all the men... It had been like an all you can eat buffet....but now he just stood in the corner, eating the same bread roll. Over and over and over.

"So how about that drink huh?"

"......"

"Sorry mate.... I have a boyfriend now, we are committed" he said, crossing and uncrossing his fingers "we are like that."

A hearty chuckle came from his companion.

"Oh and that means you can't have a drink with an old friend? You gone soft?"

"Or, is he a controlling pain in the ass?"

Killer hissed, and his eyes became a dark and deadly glare.

At first Killer's instinct was to turn the man down and defend Nighty.

Sight that it wasn't like that, and say he was very committed and happy.

But for some reason he didn't.

Frustration was drawn up through him, at the idea of defending Night's behaviour, since it was said behaviour that felt very draining to him. But the frustration dissipated, when he realised he was just too tired to argue.

Since when had he been so tightly wound up, that a simple comment like that would make him mad?

This wasn't like him at all......

His expression softened. It had been a long time since he'd acted this way, and thoughts of his torturous youth sprung to mind. If he'd gripped the glass any harder, he was sure it would break.

He took a long deep breath and turned to the guy once more.

"......"

There was nothing wrong with a free drink.... Right? He definitely needed one.....

"Alright...." he said smoothly "I suppose that would be fine..."

"Are you drooling over the other men in here again?!" Came his boyfriend's words echoing in his head, and it stirred anger in his core.

He always had to jump to that conclusion, even if it was beyond far from the truth...

Perhaps Nightmare just wanted an excuse to be angry? Well if that was the case, he’d give him what he wanted.

He still didn't really understand the problem, and now Nightmare wasn't around, he could have a little fun doing something he missed.

This was a dangerous game to play, but again it was harmless, that's why it was just a game. Games never hurt anyone. Memories of long nights spent scoping out the new talent and trading pick up lines back and forth came to him. So much fun that he’d been missing..

Just a little flirting..... He used to do this for fun all the time.

Just have some harmless fun perhaps... Just so he'd feel less angry..... He didn't want to feel like he did in the past. He wanted to feel charming and care free...

As the guy ordered the drink and paid, Killer smiled.

It was time to take a break from things.

"Thanks Hun.....I'm afraid I don't even remember your name...."

Dam he sounded rusty.... That was embarrassing. He sighed again and finished off his drink. Should he really be doing this? the doubt crossed his mind, reminding him that this was against Night’s wishes.

But what he didn’t know, wouldn’t kill him right? and this guy knew he had a boyfriend anyway, so nothing would come from it.

Time to turn on the sliver tounge.

"But I wonder, what did I ever do to be graced with such a handsome man in the past?" he said, and it wasn't to long later, that the bar tender gave him a second drink. "surely someone like you has better standards..."

The guy casually placed his hand on the bar.

"Well you looked lonely...and I suppose I thought a babe like you should have some company..."

"And tonight you looked realllly lonely again.."

Mmmm classic lines... Killer forgot how much fun this was. He felt a bit better already.

He tilted his head and uncrossed legs.

"Yeah.... But a free drink?"

The guy shrugged "you can pay for it if you want..."

"I guess.... You'll want me to find some way to pay you back?" Killer said with a smirk, running his finger around the rim of his new drink.

“Surely it would be more fun to.....come up with a creative payment..."

"......"

His eyes sockets remained fixed on the dark liquid, and that's when he got an idea.

The guy watched his fingers intently, as Killer dipped one into the booze and then licked it off, making sure to run his tounge around his mouth afterwards.

Got him.

"Well.... What did you have in mind?" the man said blushing slightly.

"....."

"Keep the drinks coming and I'll tell you…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did it feel nice?

He really hadn't realised how tense and stressed he'd been, until he was finally able to let lose a bit again. This guy was a wonderful drinking companion, and fun to bounce flirts off of. It was just fun, just casual. Just... Nice.

He was finally free to vent all he wanted about his boyfriend without Cross’ ‘but love is great’ speech, or Dream seemingly dismissing every problem as just him fault to fix. He was getting tired of all three of them, and the new guy gave him a fresh point of view. He was fair, and the environment felt like home.

As the night continued, Killer could feel his stress easily go down.

It was just free of the judgmental and snobbish way his boyfriend acted. It was free of the rules and strict dress codes. The pointless fancy food, and staff that looked down there noises at you. It was just normal and relaxed and it all felt nice.

At least it did until the guy, leaned forward and rested his hand on Killer's leg.

"....."

Woah there,...

"....."

Killer found himself staring at the hand for a moment, as if almost transfixed by the sight and feeling of it. At first glance, it was a purely innocent gesture, something that had no dangerous undertones behind it. But this...this was far from it underneath.

Heat flushed his bones red and glowing. That was a clear sign.... A non-verbal proposal. A suggestion.

Perhaps the alcohol was messing with his perceptions of things, but he felt a flush of excitement in his core, growing into a low heat through his bones. He let his legs fall open slightly more, before he realised what he was doing.

".... What's that for....." he asked, moving his leg a little from left to right.

"Well..... What do you think..." the man said.

"......"

“my.....my boy- Nightmare I..”

As fun as this was, this was clearly starting to push it, and guys intentions were clear. He didn’t care that Killer was taken, he still wanted him, committed or not. It was so, naughty...wild...and in a sense, new.

This man was being direct, and in the past, Killer would have loved it.

But now it froze him on the spot.

People say that there are several points in life where you'll reach a crossroad, something which could send you down two extremely different paths. One simple choice, left or right, but once you make it, there is no going back.

Killer had encountered several of these kinds of choices in his life, and he'd found himself taking the wrong path many times before. He'd trekked across sharp stones and up steep hills. His life had never been easy, and his choices had never made it easier...

The choice was an easy one to make. He should stop this straight away, leave and go home to Nightmare....

But then again....

If Nightmare smelt alcohol on his breath, he'd start questioning where he was, and if he started questioning, Nightmare wouldn't let it go.

In the end, if Killer told Night he was at a gay bar, then the purple eyed skeleton would yell at him and ask him who he was looking to sleep with, and if Killer said non one Night would just scoff and tell him he wasn't allowed at this bar anymore.

Back to rules...

Back to his relationship....

The guy started to run his fingers along the inside of Killer's thigh.

“don’t worry about him, what is it you want too do?”

No no.....come on... He didn't know what he was thinking, it was the right thing to do, to stop it and go home.

Time to put a stop to it.

......

Time to take the right path.

"Oh... Well I have a few ideas.... But I can't say them out loud in public~"

What was he doing?!

The stranger seemed very interested in the prospect, and his eyes landed on Killer's mouth. It didn't take a genius to figure out what came next.

As the guy leaned forward to kiss him, Killer had plenty of time to pull away, more then enough. He made no movement towards the man, but he didn’t pull back. All he did was stare and watch as he came closer. He could have turned his face away...But he didn't.... He didn't stop it...and before he knew it, their mouths were together.

Oh man....

That kiss sealed his fate.

Something flipped in Killer's soul, something hot, something hungry. A fire that he'd not felt in a long time, and it burned everything inch of him. This must have been wrong.... This was wrong... But oh.... It felt so good.

Sure, Killer could have stopped it. But he didn't. He didn't want to. He wanted to chase this feeling he missed. The heat was a driving force, the sensation of running his tounge around another's mouth, having new flavours and new feelings.

His heart screamed at him to stop. Yelled at him to think about his commitments, to remember Nightmare.

But his brain and body silenced it. They only told him to keep going. To lean in further and taste deeper.

If that meant feeling such heat and passion.... Then he wasn't going to argue.

It was a blur what happened next. Killer's thought's could hardly comprehend what he was doing, buzzing and fizzing around his head, not stopping for a second to breathe. It wasn't logical, it was physical only. It was carnal and unplanned. Spontaneous and messed up.

It was heaven.

It wasn't long until he was in a hotel room making the bed rock. The head board banging the wall with intense force, and the sound leaving a lasting memory in Killer's mind.

He may not remember this guys name, but he could remember a lot more important things about that night.

He took him for everything he had. The whole time he didn't think of Nightmare once.

The act it's self was nothing to write home about. He'd been with better, he'd been with worse. It gave him no physical sensation that he hadn't felt one million times over. However, it was the emotional feelings that got him so invigorated.

As he lay in the bed afterwards, as the man slept with his back turned next to him, he felt extreme relief. It was like all the water in his non-existent lungs had disappeared and he could finally breathe again.

An unmistakable sense of freedom..... Something he hadn't realised he'd missed. No longer was he being constricted by Nightmare's rules, and nagging, and yelling. He finally felt.... Himself again.

He was Killer, flirty, fun and desirable...just like he’d always been.

Switching his phone to silent, Killer decided to ignore it and go to sleep. Whatever it was he'd deal with it in the morning.

It was only when he heard it that he started to question his decision, the more he thought about it, the less he seemed to care.

After all his repetitive nagging and jealousy, Killer had finally given Night what he’d wanted. He’d labelled Killer, as a no good cheater since this relationship began, so much he’d be happy to know that he was right, just as he’d insisted. Not that Killer was going to tell him.

~~~~~~~~

He smiled, but his euphoria didn't last, as his phone started to ping. Nightmare obviously...

Nightmare, on the other hand, was feeling a bit on edge. He was his 5th glass of wine in and sipped it, as he started at his phone screen. Killer wasn't answering...

The purple eyed skeleton sighed. He really hadn't meant to go off on Killer like that.... Killer just had a way of making him feel like he wasn't all that interested in his these days. It was probably just his insecurity playing up. So many years of being second best to his brother, had driven him into this state. He hadn't meant it... Really...

He sighed and put his phone down again, before finishing the wine in the glass. His head was aching now, and he was feeling a bit giddy. Probably best to just head too bed and deal with it in the morning. Surely Killer would be ready to talk by then?

Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Killer thought back on his actions that night, a month prior, he'd never felt more selfish in his life.

Killer liked to think he was a good person, but he often found himself questioning that these days. At the time, he'd had no idea where this path would lead. But he hadn't felt more pain in a long time.

Regret flooded him, but not in the way you'd expect it to. He didn't regret what he'd done, he regretted not doing it sooner.

Perhaps he should feel guilty, at first he did, but after the stunt Nightmare had just pulled, he didn't. He couldn't.

The city seemed to fall silent around him. Cars no longer zoomed past, people were no longer walking on the street.

At least that was what he felt, twisting the cigarette in his fingers, allowing the heat to lightly tickle his bones.

He didn't feel like smoking anymore....

He flicked the cig onto the pavement, and walked home in a trance. If he'd been in one of his movies, it would have started raining, and a sad song would have played. But this wasn't a movie. He couldn't just run to the changing room and wipe off the make up and fake tears. This was real...all real.

At lest he was free now.... He could go sleep with anyone he wanted...

Perhaps he’d re-download grinder, Or dig up some of his old contacts for a late night call. He could go to the bar and do shots, and dance on the tables, stripping his shirt, as the other’s cheered. He could be with a new guy, or even two....He could take anyone he wanted to a bathroom stall. He could do anything he wanted. No more rules, no more nagging, no more Nighty.

No more...Nightmare....

It’s fine, he’d find a new Nightmare. All he’d even been was a man who used Killer to explore his sexuality, that's all, nothing out of the normal. Nightmare hated him anyway, he always had, Killer was a piece of gum on his shoe, something small and meaningless.

It had been pure hatred from day one.

It didn’t matter now.

Nightmare was nothing to him now..

“.......”

Suddenly he didn’t really feel like going out anymore...remembering their last fight...

“No...it’s not important” he mumbled. He didn’t wanna think about it right now, the wound was to fresh too press.

“.....”

He was suddenly feeling quite sick...

"....."

He should probably just go home, he could go out tomorrow.

As he made it home, his flat was silent. As if it knew what happened and wanted to be respectful of him...

It was so strange to be in a place so quiet. And so empty. Even his cats were absent and quiet. Crackers had avoided greeting him at the door, but Killer didn't blame either of them. The baggage he was carrying was heavy.

It felt.... Good.. To be back though. Finally alone at last.

"....."

Alone... just like he’d wanted.

He sat down on the sofa and stated at the wall in front on him. He was trying not to think about the fall out.... He was trying hard not to dwell on it...

But how could he not....

Again a special thanks to @jann-the-bean ans @yuriyuruandyuraart for all your support with this series.

76 notes · View notes