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#thank you to everyone who has read it
aces-and-angels · 2 years
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Wrote a Connor x Devon fic/side story- but since it's, uh, mature- I had to slap a community label on it😓
Anyways if anyone wants to read it, you'll need to change your content settings to allow for mature content to be shown- the fic should be pinned on my blog- stay classy y'all ❤
~~UPDATE~~ fic is no longer pinned, but you can still find it on my masterlist in my bio
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justdontaskme · 2 years
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About to start a Changes Hurt fan club
This is like one of the best things I've ever seen! Like it really touched my heart to see people like you enjoying this fic. Honestly, I did not expect all these reactions I've gotten
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inkly-heart · 19 days
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
🌱
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otrtbs · 6 months
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here’s the thing. the absolute joy and wonder i feel whenever someone tells me they came across ahb! and are now taking an art history course / majoring in art next year / went to their local art museum for the first time in ages is exponential. when yall send me your favorite artworks and tell me about them or tell me you went to x museum to see x painting mentioned in ahb??? it’s just so so wonderful. because never did i think something i wrote out of love for art and love for art history would lead anyone else to research art or talk about it or seek it out for themselves and that’s so much more than i could ever imagine would come out of a very timid first attempt at creative writing/fandom involvement.
i wrote it out of love and y’all have all reciprocated that love tenfold and ran with it to talk about art and explore it and share it with me and those around you. and it’s just been a very special incredible thing that makes me emosh. :,)
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dreamlandiasims · 2 months
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An updated cover in honor of PLA turning one year old :')
Read the story from the beginning here!
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ymechi · 4 months
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Who is the real Creator?
Hello! I have a bit of an announcement to make I don't think everyone has seen the previous post but an anon asked me if I will continue the series and to be honest I don't think I will. This series was made on a whim and was really fun to write except I hit a roadblock. I am unsure where to continue with this I feel like I have written enough and not sure where to go from here story wise, that is why I decided to discontinue the story. Thank you everyone who commented and liked I enjoyed seeing your guys reactions. For now this is the last chapter. If I ever decide to continue this or make a new series I look forward to seeing you guys there!
-TW: cult au, yandere, impostor au, mentions of being hunted down, mentions of trauma, self harm (nothing major), OOC character
-Gn reader and darling (please tell me if I mess this up message me and I will fix it)
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, this is part 6
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The beat of their heart was as loud as a drum. Reader could even feel their head vibrate in tandem with the marching drums they had heard before when they were younger. Their vision felt blurry and their head was light. The fading sun outside the windows caught their eye. Reader felt nauseous.
They were such a coward they had left Nahida and Wanderer to clean up after them as they ran away. Reader wanted to help her not add more trouble yet here they were weak and unable to speak.
Distantly they heard a gasp.
"Reader! Are you okay? Oh no- Traveller come quick!"
Two blurry figures came closer to Reader. They idly noted one of the figures was floating. . . Ohh, it was Paimon and Aether.
Seeing the two somehow calmed them down and they tried to take deep breaths. With a calmer and clearer mind, they noticed that both stared at Reader with worried expressions.
Reader gave a wry smile.
"Hi Paimon, hi Traveller."
The two said nothing staring at Reader and then at each other coming to an agreement of some sort.
"Paimon thinks you should sit down first," she said, trailing off and looking down.
Reader also noticed Aether was looking down as well to the side, it was then it dawned on Reader they were looking at their sliced palm. They subconsciously tried to hide it but stopped midway bringing it forward towards the duo.
"I guess you two were also summoned but were late haha," they said with a flat laugh.
Traveler continued to look at them with a worried frown and Paimon who usually had a positive expression looked even more worried. Reader's wry smile seemed not to work sadly.
"P-Paimon is still not sure what is going on but Paimon thinks you should sit down first. . ."
"I agree let's get you somewhere to rest first."
Aether reached his hand out as an invite and Reader felt too weak to reject him. He took their hand and guided them further down the hall towards a seating area where guests could sit. There Reader was able to sit down and calm down.
"Thanks, I do feel better."
Aether smiled and nodded while Paimon's eyes sifted from looking at them and then at a wall.
"Uhm- so Paimon has been wondering. . ."
It was obvious what she was referring to. They held the sliced palm with the other hand almost cradling it.
"Sorry, I did not mean to keep it from you guys. . . I just found out recently as well, I-I hope you are not mad."
"What! Why would we be mad? You are the creator- Oh no should we bow?" Paimon said looking at Reader then around as if someone would pop up and admonish her.
Traveler shook his head at his companion's antics and gave Reader a sad smile.
"I hope you can forgive out-"
"Oh no stop there!"
Reader jumped out quickly from their seat causing the duo to step back (the other to float back) in shock. Reader stepped forward and looked at them with a serious expression.
"I don't care if I am some creator or whatever and I don't care about that formal shit, especially when you two are my friends!"
Reader was not sure where this outburst came from. Was it because of the stressful day? Was it having to see people you did not like or was it because of having to watch Wanderer act subservient for so long?
"So no your grace or bowing!"
The two still looked aback. Suddenly Reader felt embarrassed shouting at them when they were concerned about her.
"W-well uhm, sorry, yeah I should not have shouted. . ."
Reader wrung their hands together but stopped when they noticed the sliced palm. They looked down at their shoes.
"Paimon. . . Paimon thinks of you as a friend too," she said and her cheeks turned red.
Reader smiled at her and Traveller sighed but gave the floating girl a smile.
"If that is what you wish for then who are we to say no?"
He sounded a tad bit too formal for Reader but it would have to do for now.
"None of that now, how have the two of you been?"
Paimon opened her mouth about to answer Reader's question but she was interrupted unexpectedly.
"Your Grace-"
Reader's heart skipped a beat and not the good kind. The calm they experienced before was gone and their body froze again. The one who spoke was unmistakably the retired geo Archon. He looked frazzled and looked at Reader in a way they could not decipher.
"Your grace I. . ."
"That is enough I had already told you they were not ready to talk to you yet."
Nahida came afterward it looks like she rushed over to where they were. Her face was stern and it looked so out of place compared to her more relaxed and curious features. Reader's stomach clenched. Zhongli looked as if he wanted to argue with her. His face took on a harsher stance as he looked at her.
No.
They would not let him.
"Whatever it is you want to say it's with me leave her out of this."
Their hands were shaking but they held them together. Nahida looked surprised at them and Reader wanted to reassure her it was going to be alright. Aether from his side approached them and stood between the Archon and Reader. The implication that he was willing to defend them from one of the strongest beings in Teyvat was not lost on Reader. They did feel safer by having him on their side and Paimon as well.
"Your grace I," Zhongli paused his gaze on Reader with a guilty look that made them feel uncomfortable, "If I had known if only. . ."
"That does not matter anymore," Reader interrupted him.
He looked at them and flinched.
"Save your what 'ifs’, you did what you did and I won't forget it."
The unexpected venom that came out of Reader surprised even them. Zhongli had taken to look down he looked ashamed, how dare he? Now he wants to act all guilty. Reader scoffed.
"You have done enough damage for today, I suggest you leave neither me or the Dendro Archon are in a mood to deal with you," Reader said and crossed their arms.
They idly wondered if the meeting had gone awry for her to come here. Nahida looked thoroughly surprised.
Zhongli opened his mouth to speak but Reader beat him to it.
"That is all I have nothing more to say."
"I think I will take it over here with Mr. Zhongli and the rest."
They nodded at Nahida. Reader tugged at Aether's scarf for him to follow them.
.
.
.
They entered Reader's new room and their muscles went lax. It felt though as if they had carried a heavy boulder. They threw decorum away and sat on their desk stool.
"Sorry, I think I need a bit of rest."
"It's okay Paimon doesn't think anyone would handle talking to a guy that tried to kill as well as you did."
Aether glared at Paimon and she jumped up in the air while still floating.
"Maybe Paimon should not have said that. . ."
Reader looked at her and shook their head with a smile.
"It's okay, you sort of reminded me I did something pretty cool huh?"
Paimon's expression eased and she nodded.
"While Zhongli is our friend what he did to you was unforgivable so Paimon thinks he ought to get kicked around for what he did."
"Heh, it seems like you can speak some sense from time to time."
It was Wanderer who had entered when the door was still unopened. Paimon did look angry at his remark.
"You! What do you mean Paimon always says things that make sense!"
"Yeah sure," he said with a mocking smile and crossed his arms.
"You came early did something happen?" Reader spoke.
Wanderer uncrossed his arms and shook his head.
"No Lesser Lord Kusanali came back with the funeral consultant and told me to look out for you."
Ohh, Reader's heart melted a bit. They really had a good friend, next time they should make her something as thanks.
"Paimon has a question are you planning to announce it to everyone that you are the creator?"
Aether looked at Reader more intently as well. It seemed he was interested in the topic.
"No, I rather not, we decided to let the acolytes know for now their words hold some sway if they could calm the public down after the 'fake' left."
Aether had a thoughtful expression and nodded at Reader's answer. Perhaps he guessed Reader was not in the mood to talk about this particular topic and left it a that. Reader was once again thankful for their friend's thoughtfulness.
"Sorry for all the drama today take a seat what have you two been up to?"
Aether smiled and sat down while Wanderer ever the polite one bought fruits and left to get some tea. The Traveler and his companion told them of the many new adventures they had and the people they met. After Wanderer came back with the tea all of them sat down and listened as Paimon did a dramatic retelling of a recent commission they took on.
"I see everyone is having a fun time."
"Nahida!" Reader went out of their seat to check on the Archon.
"I hope there was not too much trouble are all right? Did something happen?"
"No worries I am fine and nothing happened it took a while to convince some to leave, there were acolytes who wanted to meet you."
Reader grimaced.
"Yeah sorry, next time I won't run away like that."
Nahida shook her head.
"No, it is part of my duty, there is no need for you to do it if you don't feel like it."
"You shouldn't have to shoulder this," Reader argued.
"Lesser Lord Kusanali is right if you are not ready it might do more damage to your health," Wandered interjected.
At that Reader could only be silent. They felt so helpless.
"For now let Nahida handle it you can be there and see how much you can handle," Wanderer said after sighing.
Reader wrung their hands together and looked at Nahida with a guilty look.
"If it's okay with you could I?"
"Only if you think you can handle it."
For now that would be their solution.
Reader ushered Nahida to take a seat and poured her some tea. Paimon took it upon herself to start over her tale once again since Nahida was there and the Wanderer scoffed at her which caused them to bicker for a few seconds. Reader could only laugh behind their hand. The rest of the day was spent comfortably talking.
"It is getting late Paimon doesn't want to intrude any longer."
The Traveller nodded as well.
"Wait you both could stay in my room?"
Traveller and Paimon looked surprised.
"We don't want to interrupt your resting time there is also only one bed."
"The bed is big enough for all of us we can have a sleepover?"
Reader wrung their hands together. It was just, they did not want to sleep alone today.
Traveller and Paimon looked at each other they must have had a silent conversation.
"If you are okay with it Reader."
"Yeah it would be nice I haven't had a sleepover in a long while Nahida and Wanderer you could join in if you want to." They said with a smile.
"I've never had one before but I would love to try it out."
Wanderer was silent for a while before he quietly answered.
"I will join then. . ."
Reader smiled it almost hurt their face. They gathered a lot of pillows and extra blankets just in case. Reader took the middle while Nahida was to the right and Paimon to the left. Respectievly Aether took Paimon's side and Wanderer slept next to Nahida. It really did feel like a huge sleepover. Reader slept soundly that night sourrended in warmth.
Extra:
Reader felt warm and fuzzy images of Christmas lights surrounding their vision. the lights were blurry and smudged. Gentle snow started to fall blanketing the ground in white. The blanket that surrounded them kept them warm and they snuggled closer to it.
The stars above twinkled and They watched with interest as they changed shape and colour. Then a star started to fall, no it was a snowflake. A huge giant snowflake was falling towards Reader and they tried to struggle but it was in vain as the blanket held them in place. With horror they watched as the snowflake landed on their head.
It was rather soft and it did not hurt but the snowflake was beginning to limit their breathing. Reader tried to open their mouth to breathe in more air.
With a gasp, they woke up.
The thing smothering their face was not a snowflake or anything nefarious but rather Paimon herself. Somehow she had ended up on their face. They struggled to shake her off and after a few seconds of prying she rolled off to the side.
She was still asleep her mouth open and she mumbled something about food no doubt.
Reader sighed.
They blinked a few times as they looked out to the window where the sun was shining. It was already morning.
Reader was rather in a bind, literally. Nahida had curled up in her chest, she looked so small and cute Reader’s heart melted and they wanted to pat her head. Their feet somehow got tangled up with Wanderer’s and to the side Aether was hugging their arm.
They could not get up.
”If I was in a different room I would still be able to hear your squirms.”
It was wanderer who woke up. His voice was hoarse. Now that they thought about it Reader had no idea if he could sleep or if he even needed to.
”Sorry,” they said whispering.
Wanderer sighed and came closer towards Reader shutting his eyes.
Wait, was he not going to get up at all?
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Taglist: @resident-cryptid @probablynoposts @esthelily @mitsukashi @charming-mage @chaoticfivesworld @irisxiel @dulcedelechenginamo @yu-ulda @samohxt2-0 @pinkpainc @vianitry @dreamlessnight @kurayamioterasu @fantasyhopperhea @victoria1676 @liansh3ng @game-savvy @uchihaeirin @awelygirl @klemen-time @synthe4u @deadgirldreaming @quacking-simp
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dawn-the-rithmatist · 2 years
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Obsessed with authors like Naomi Novik whose books always seem to say “no, fuck that, there is another way than cruelty, and we do have a choice to be decent, and not choosing it isn’t a burden but a cop out.”
Authors like Neil Gaiman whose books seem to say “we are all simply human, and that is so valuable. This world is worth more because we are in it, when we choose to notice and care”
Authors like Brandon Sanderson whose books say “We are all a little broken, and there is strength in not turning away from us, and there is pain in healing but there is also strength and hope.”
Seriously, these folks do more for my faith and hope in this life than any religion ever has. I don’t have the words to describe it yet but just. Warm cup of apple cider held close to the chest on cold autumn night?? That’s the best I got
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kastillia · 17 days
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fairy-hub · 2 months
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I hope you are taking care of yourself, if you are having a hard time I’m sorry you are dealing with that bullshit, and I’m proud of you for dealing with it the best you can
Be kind to yourself you deserve it, drink some water your body deserves it, and tell yourself how wonderful you are instead of insulting yourself, you deserve it.
You deserve better than you get and you need to remember that
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ariadne-mouse · 4 months
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just a little FLIRting, (Forward Looking InfraRed)
a scene from the fire kept closest (burns most of all), aka Volcaleb, a spooky shadowgast AU
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suddencolds · 7 months
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Foreign Home | [1/1]
hello!! I am back after 8 months of not-really-writing with an 8k word fic (which I cut down from 9k words). this is another OC fic w/ Vincent and Yves, who were introduced here!
anyways, this is very character-centric and establishes some things I wanted to establish about them / their world... I hope the little detour into character-development territory is okay.
Summary: Yves has told all of his friends that he's dating Vincent, so it's going to look increasingly suspicious if Vincent never shows up. Good thing Vincent is compellingly good at lying. Anyways, what could go wrong at a housewarming party? (ft. banter, fake dating, cat allergies)
Yves spends three weeks turning down invitations.
It’s lucky, he thinks, that he’s been able to stay in contact with so many friends from university—that so many of them have settled here, in New York. It’s less lucky considering his current circumstances:
Out of the people who made it to Margot’s New Year’s party, almost all of them remember Vincent. And—even more inconveniently—many of them seem set on inviting Yves and Vincent places.
Yves thinks up a dozen excuses. No, Vincent can’t join on our coffee outing—he’s got an important, un-reschedulable meeting with a client that Saturday. Sunday? His Sunday’s booked through until 5pm. I know, busy season is the worst to plan around. Or, I think Vincent’s going to be out for a business conference that weekend. The 22nd? I can check with him, but he’s taking a redeye flight the night before—I think he’ll be jet lagged.
The number of excuses he is capable of coming up with is unfortunately finite. Perhaps sorry, I think Vincent has an optometrist’s appointment that afternoon isn’t Yves’s best work, but he has to say something.
Really, it’s just more work to invite Vincent elsewhere—to explain that they’ve played their role as a couple a little too convincingly. That his friends all want to meet Vincent, now.
Back during his days of rowing crew, Yves has given out his fair share of relationship advice to the underclassmen, which has unfortunately—according to Margot—“cultivated an air of mystery about his personal love life.” It was always him and Erika, until it wasn’t. (Ex-matchmaker Yves and his mysterious, highly coveted new boyfriend, Leon says, when Yves complains, which is how Yves decides he will no longer be consulting Leon on the matter.)
“My friends really like you,” Yves says to Vincent, offhandedly, when he runs into him on the way back from lunch.
Vincent blinks at him. 
“You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.”
“They really like you,” Yves says. “They want to meet you. They think we’re an interesting couple, and they keep pestering me for double dates and inviting you out to a whole bunch of events. I’m running out of excuses as to why you can’t come.”
“Oh,” Vincent says, deadpan, but there’s a slight twitch to his lips, as if he’s trying not to laugh.
“I’m dead serious,” Yves says. “I told Nora that you couldn’t make it to dinner because of an eye appointment. Now if I want to keep this up I’ll need to photoshop you with new glasses.”
“I am a little overdue for new glasses,” Vincent says.
“Not the point. Regardless, I need to keep this up until we stage a breakup.”
“A breakup?”
“A fake breakup. To our fake relationship.”
“Is there someone else you’re interested in?”
“No,” Yves says. “But I’m preemptively saving you the stress.”
“The stress of playing your boyfriend?” Vincent says. “Last time, that just entailed going to a well-organized New Year’s party. I wouldn’t consider that exceptionally stressful.”
“That’s just the beginning. Don’t tell me you want to be dragged along to every dinner party and every downtown outing and every birthday I go to in the foreseeable future,” Yves says. “On top of working 60 hours a week, you’ll have to say goodbye to your weekends.”
“So that’s why you’re plotting our breakup.”
“Yes,” Yves says. “I’d need to explain to everyone how I dropped the ball.”
“I’m sure those new glasses must’ve been the dealbreaker.”
Yves laughs. Truthfully, Vincent could wear the most terrible, unflattering glasses in the world and still manage to look like someone whom Yves wouldn’t bat an eye at upon spotting at a photoshoot. The fact that his current glasses actually complement him very well, and the fact that he knows how to dress himself is just salt to the wound. “Yes, that’s the entire reason why I dated you in the first place. The glasses.”
“If you wanted to keep our false relationship up for a couple months,” Vincent says, “I wouldn’t mind.”
Yves—who, until now, has been walking in the opposite direction of the floor on which he works—stops walking. “Pardon?”
“I like your friends,” Vincent says. “And more importantly, I don’t think it proves a point to Erika if you’ve just gotten into a relationship you couldn’t keep. So if you wanted to keep this arrangement for a little longer, I would be fine with it.”
Yves considers this.
He’s asked more than enough of Vincent already. But Vincent is right. He’s sure Erika must have her fair share of doubts about all of this—about Vincent, about their fake relationship, about its longevity. She seemed skeptical, when he’d last seen her, that Yves could’ve moved on so quickly. The worst thing about it is that he can’t blame her for that doubt. The worst thing about it is that he’d spent so much time accounting for his future with Erika that he hadn’t seen her start to slip away, hadn’t noticed the first sign of inadequacy, the first time her gaze lingered on someone else, the first time he ceased to be all that she wanted. He hadn’t steeled himself for a future without her, and now, half the time, it feels like he’s still playing catch-up.
If he wants to commit to this fake relationship, he’ll need more than one outing to show for it.
And, despite all odds, Vincent is offering just that.
“Okay,” Yves says, before he can think about how bad of an idea this is. It is really, really inadvisable. He’s sure if he weighs his options for more than a few seconds, he will come to the conclusion that he should be shutting his mouth. “If you’re sure—and only if you’re actually sure—what are your plans after work next Tuesday evening?”
“Nothing as of now,” Vincent says. 
“Great. If you can make it, there’s a potluck. Joel’s hosting. He recently finished moving into a new apartment, so I think it’s something of a housewarming party. He lives a little North, past the stadium, so I think I’ll head there right after work—I can drive you.” 
“That works,” Vincent says. “What kind of food does he like?”
“I’m not actually too sure,” Yves says. “I think he’s a fan of spicy food. But honestly, I think he’ll be grateful if you bring anything at all—which you don’t have to, by the way. You’re the esteemed guest, here.”
“I’m sure Joel’s new apartment is technically the esteemed guest,” Vincent says. “But I’ll be there.”
“Okay,” Yves says. “It’s a date. I’ll make it up to you in any way you want, by the way—if there’s ever an instance where you need me to lie for you, I’ll do it.”
“Duly noted,” Vincent says. For what Vincent would ever have to lie about, Yves can’t guess.
More importantly, he has a date for next Tuesday. Something about it is more exciting, even in its dishonesty, than it has any right to be.
It’s only a few moments after Yves presses the doorbell that Vincent emerges, holding a couple plates covered meticulously with aluminum foil.
“I haven’t cooked for anyone in awhile,” he says, a little sheepishly. “I hope this doesn’t make a bad impression on your friends.” “Are you kidding? It smells really good,” Yves says, and it does—from the doorway, he can make out the scent of sesame oil, roasted garlic, ginger. “They’ll definitely like it.”
Vincent looks off to the side. “We’ll see.” It takes a moment for Yves to properly parse his expression for what it is.
It never occurred to Yves that Vincent might actually be nervous. At work, it’s rare to see Vincent even remotely out of his element—he always volunteers to take on their more difficult clients, and even on the rare occasion that something falls out of his expertise, he picks things up quickly. Yves has seen him give presentations at conferences without a sweat, articulate as ever. 
If Vincent had been nervous, those times—over prestigious conferences, over negotiations with major clients, over other difficult points of contention—it hadn’t shown. Either he wasn’t nervous at all, or he was just good at hiding it. But he’s nervous now, Yves realizes, which means— 
Vincent wants to make a good impression on his friends. It won’t be his first time meeting Joel, but it’ll be his first time talking to Cherie, Joel’s fiancé, or Giselle, one of Cherie’s friends from work. Mikhail and Nora will be there too. All in all, it’s a decently sized group, but Vincent has talked to larger groups of people before without so much as a shaky voice.
Something about it—about the seriousness with which Vincent regards this whole arrangement—is strangely endearing.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Yves says, and means it in more ways than one.
Joel’s new apartment, as it turns out, is already decently furnished, even though Joel had sent out the invitation with the disclaimer that everything is a mess, please bear with us.
“When you said everything would be a mess,” Yves says, leaving his shoes in a line at the door, “I thought your apartment would actually be something other than spotlessly clean and well arranged.”
“It’s easy to make things look neat if you move all of the clutter into the closets,” Joel says.
“It’s just a few boxes,” Cherie says. “But it was tricky to figure out how to place things. It’s a lot more spacious than the apartment we had in college.”
“No kidding,” Yves says. “It’s a seriously nice place.” Back in their last two years of university, Joel and Cherie had gotten an apartment just a few buildings down from the apartment which Yves picked out with Mikhail—they had similar floor plans. Yves distinctly remembers the space: creaky floorboards, space heaters lined up against the walls to last them the winter; decent natural lighting, and never enough kitchen space.
Back then, he and Mikhail had had separate rooms, so their apartment became a spot in which Erika became a frequent visitor, and then, at one point, stopped visiting at all. 
But that’s not the point. The point is, the apartment Joel and Cherie have picked out is much nicer than the one they’d had in college—for one, it’s more spacious, and the entire building has nice facilities and looks newer—and Cherie’s eye for interior design has only helped their cause.
“I’m glad you were able to come!” Cherie says, turning to Vincent. “Yves is always telling me about how busy you are with work.”
“He’s the one putting out all the fires,” Yves says. 
Vincent smiles, extending a hand for her to shake. “Cherie, right? It’s nice to meet you. And you’re—” He turns to Joel, with a slight sniffle. “Joel. I think we met last time.”
Cherie squeezes his hand. Joel laughs and says, “I’m surprised you remember my name.”
“He’s good with names,” Yves says. An acquired skill from all the hours of networking, probably.
“That’s a useful skill to have, especially if you’re dating Yves,” Joel says. “I swear he knows everyone.” He goes on to tell a story about how, back in university, Yves almost accidentally got elected as vice president for a business club he’d only shown up to once.
At some point into the conversation, Yves ducks into the kitchen to help with setup. He sets out the dish he’s brought—salmon sliders with mango salsa—and the beef skewers that Vincent made earlier (he’s not sure why Vincent was worried in the first place, because the skewers look very competently made). After that, he busies himself with finding a way to keep everything temporarily covered until they eat.
Something soft and fuzzy winds around his ankles.
He looks down, and the soft and fuzzy thing looks back at him with pointy triangular ears. This is news to Yves.
“You guys have a cat?!” He shouts from the kitchen, vaguely in the direction where Joel and Cherie should still be standing. “Since when?”
“Since a month ago,” Joel shouts back.
“Her name is Gingersnap,” Cherie adds. “Gin for short.”
“Oh,” Yves says, kneeling down to scratch her behind the ears. His hands are a little calloused from all the snow he’s been shoveling lately, but Gingersnap purrs anyways, evidently unbothered. “What the hell, guys, now I’m never going to be able to leave your apartment. Consider me a permanent resident.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Cherie says.
At some point, Gingersnap gets up, mewing, and heads out of the kitchen, and Yves resumes life as an active contributor to the potluck’s success. When he finishes reheating everything up, setting the table, arranging the dishes, and filling up two pitchers with iced water, he wanders back out into the living room. Vincent is there, alone, except he’s not really alone, because…
Oh.
God.
He’s kneeling down, unmoving, speaking to Gingersnap in a soft, low voice, holding out a hand for her.
She approaches him, a little tentatively, and then nuzzles her orange head into the crook of his hand. Vincent smiles—a soft, private smile. “Hi, Gin,” he says.
There’s the low, lawnmower hum of a purr as Gingersnap rolls onto the ground to let Vincent continue petting her. It’s a heartwarming sight—Vincent, from the office, crouched down to pet a cat that’s smaller than his hand. Yves thinks he might cry.
Then Vincent withdraws his hand, reaches up with an arm to swipe at his eyes. Something jolts through his shoulders, a tremor so slight that Yves wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t already been watching—
“—nGkt-!”
Gingersnap mews at him, perplexed but undeterred. “Sorry,” Vincent says to her, quietly, “I’m not trying— to—” It’s all he can get out before he’s veering away again, this time with both hands tightly steepled over his nose for—
“hhIH’—GKKtt-!”
He sniffles softly, though the sniffle is immediately followed by a small, quiet cough. He reaches up with one hand to rub his nose. Yves watches his expression draw uneven, his eyebrows furrowing. 
“hhIH…”
Whatever sneeze he’s fighting seems terribly indecisive—but terribly irritating—for the way he rubs his nose again, his eyes squeezing shut in ticklish anticipation.
“HhIH… hh… HH-hhH-hHIHh—”
 He cups a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, and not a moment too early—
“—hIHh’iiIKKTSHh-!”His shoulders jolt forwards with the force of it, though it gives him barely a moment’s reprieve before his breath hitches again, sharply, urgently. “IiI’DSZCHuuhh-!”
“Bless you,” Yves says.
Vincent turns to blink at him. His eyes are a little red-rimmed and watering. There’s a thin flush over the bridge of his nose.
“You didn’t tell me you were allergic to cats,” Yves says, rounding the corner to close the distance between them.
“Slightly allergic,” Vincent admits, turning aside with a liquid sniffle. “It’s ndot - hhIHH-! - a big deal.”
“I didn’t know Joel and Cherie had a cat,” Yves says. “I’m sorry. I would’ve told you if they did.”
“It’s fine,” Vincent says, with a laugh. “I like her.”
“You might like her, but your body doesn’t seem to be a fan.”
“It’s a good thing that I have a consciousness, so I can codtinue petting her.” Vincent sniffles again, lifting one hand to rub his nose with his index finger. Yves does not know how to even begin to tell him what an inadvisable idea that is, but either way, he doesn’t have a chance to before Vincent’s eyes graze shut, and he turns to face away from Gingersnap before he jerks forward, catching a muffled - “Hh’GKK-t!” - into a clenched fist.
“Bless you,” Yves says. “You know, you’re really not going to make the situation any better if you keep on—”
“nNGKT-!!”
“—bless you!”
“hh—hHhih’iiKKsHHhUH!” The last sneeze is noticeably harsher than the others—it sounds loud enough to scrape against his throat, which seems to be further evidenced by the small cough that succeeds it.
“I’ll ask Joel if he has any antihistamines,” Yves says. 
“It’s fide,” Vincent says. 
“If you insist on spending time with Gingersnap, wouldn’t it be better to spend it without having to sneeze?”
“I would still have to sdeeze,” Vincent says, as if he’s already experienced in the matter—briefly, Yves wonders how many cats he inadvisably plays with on a frequent basis. “Just less.”
“That would be an improvement.”
Vincent looks away. “Antihistamines mbake me tired,” he says, after a little hesitation. 
“It’s a good time to be tired,” Yves says. “It’s not like you have any pressing work to get done.”
“I want to make a good ibpression on your friends,” Vincent says, wiping at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. “That’s ndot going to happen if I fall asleep halfway through dinner.”
“If you did, I’m sure no one would fault you for it.”
“I’ll take something after we finish eating,” Vincent says. “If things haved’t improved by then. ”
“Okay,” Yves relents, and—since it doesn’t seem like Vincent is leaving anytime soon—takes a seat next to him on the rug. It’s a compromise he can accept.
Nora gets there next, followed by Mikhail and then Giselle. It’s Yves’s first time formally meeting Giselle, who turns out to be very tall and a little intimidating—she’s come straight from work, so she’s dressed accordingly, and she talks with the sort of quiet authority that Yves knows is usually indicative of years of experience. Right before they sit down for dinner, Vincent ducks out into the bathroom—‘I need to look at least marginally presentable,’ he’d said, seeming like he was in a rush—so Yves saves him a seat at the table. 
“Yves,” Giselle says, taking another salmon slider. “You made these entirely from scratch? This is delicious.” 
“Thanks,” Yves says. “To be honest, it was a bit of a gamble. I wasn’t sure if the sauce was going to pair well with it.”
“Yves is really good at cooking,” Mikhail says. “That’s half the reason why I roomed with him in college.”
“So what’s the other half?” Cherie says. 
“The other half is that he lets me eat his food,” Mikhail says.
Yves laughs. “For a second, I thought you’d have something nice to say about my personality.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Mikhail says. 
“Yves is very good at cooking,” Vincent says, emerging from the hallway. Yves blinks at him. Whatever he’d done in the bathroom has done wonders—he looks remarkably put together. Not a strand of his hair is out of place. His eyes are dry, not red, not teary, not irritated, his collar crisply upright, his voice devoid of congestion. The only telltale sign about his ailment is the slight bit of redness to his nose, but it’s winter—that could easily be chalked up to the cold.
He slips easily into the seat next to Yves, his posture impeccable. Yves does everything in his power not to stare. 
“I think he’s responsible for some of the best hot chocolate I’ve had,” Vincent continues. That remark is surprising, too—repurposed from a memory as it is, it seems almost like something that could be genuine.
But Yves remembers how easily Vincent had lied, back on New Year’s—how easily he’d drawn the fictitious threads between them, almost thoughtlessly, as if they had always existed. 
I could make better hot chocolate, Yves thinks, before he can stop himself. I could really make the best hot chocolate you’ve ever tasted, if I just had time. It’s an absurd thought, and one that he doesn’t have much grounds for. He had been pressed for time, back then—he hadn’t known when Vincent’s ride was going to be arriving—but even if he’d really, properly tried, even if he’d succeeded in making the best hot chocolate he’s capable of making, there’s no guarantee that Vincent would’ve liked it.
He’s surprised by the pang in his chest, now, the desire to make true something that he knows to be false, to be worthy of the compliments that Vincent’s so easily spoken about.
“That’s definitely an exaggeration,” Yves says. “Technically, Mikhail didn’t even know that I knew how to cook when we signed the lease. The real reason why we roomed together is much more interesting.”
It’s a story he’s told before, though Cherie and Giselle haven’t heard it before. It’s easy to fall into it again: Mikhail and Yves met in their first year, over a group project in an intro to finance class. The two other members of their team had been dead weight, and at the time, Yves had thought—incorrectly—that Mikhail was just as bad as the rest of them.
It’s practically a comedy of errors—a series of miscommunications had led them to each finish the project independently. Yves remembers the all-nighters he’d pulled for that, nervous and over-caffeinated, until the day before the presentation, where he found that Mikhail had not—unlike the other members of their group—spent the last few weeks slacking off. 
Beside him, Vincent goes still.
When Yves chances a quick look at him, he sees: a slight, almost imperceptible ripple to his expression, before it smooths out again.
He nearly backtracks—his first thought is that perhaps something he’s said is the source of Vincent’s irritation—but then Vincent turns his face away. There’s the slightest disturbance to the line of his shoulders, and then—
“—gkT-!”
The sneeze is barely audible, stifled as it is into a half-closed palm, though the gesture is subtle, too—easily mistaken as Vincent simply looking away, resting his chin on his hand.
“I can’t believe you guys are still friends after all of that,” Nora says.
“Right,” Yves says. “I was so ready to never talk to him again. But obviously, we still had to give the presentation.”
He talks about how, in a half-asleep effort to salvage the project work, he and Mikhail had found some way to relate their findings to each other, to loosely bind the disparate subjects into a coherent thesis. Mikhail talks, too, about how they’d manipulated their presentation to get their combined work to seem sufficiently on topic.
Mikhail is halfway through his story when Yves sees Vincent jolt forward beside him.
He looks up just in time to catch the tail end of a sneeze—expertly stifled, just like the others—into a clenched fist. This one’s a little more forceful, even in its quietness—it leaves Vincent hunched over for just a moment, his shoulders slightly slumped, before he straightens again, covertly lowering his hand.
There’s a slightly hazy, distant look to his features, as if whatever’s been bothering him hasn’t begun to let up yet.
Yves nudges him with his arm. Vincent doesn’t exactly jump at the contact, but he does freeze, his shoulders stiffening.
“Hey,” Yves says, quietly enough that he doesn’t think anyone else should be able to hear. “You okay?”
Vincent nods.
“You sure you don’t want to take anything?”
Another nod. 
“I can’t tell you how little either of us proofread that paper,” Mikhail is saying.
“I reread it three months later,” Yves admits. “And he’s right. We really didn’t proofread it.” 
But it was a winning proposal, even though they’d both been too tired to realize it then. And still, Mikhail had still managed to hold a grudge against him for two long months. And then Mikhail had run into last-minute problems with his upcoming lease arrangement, and Yves had happened to find a decently priced two-bedroom apartment with no roommate, and he’d reached out half as a joke.
“You know those friends who say they can never room together?” Mikhail is saying. “Like, they hang out all the time, or they’ve been friends for years, or they trust each other with their lives, or whatever. But the second you put their living habits in close proximity, everything goes to shit? I think we were the opposite.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just because you two never had a good enough relationship to ruin in the first place?” Nora says jokingly.
She has a point. Yves is starting to think that all of the formative relationships in his life have all happened by accident.
Vincent and Giselle get along very well, Yves notes, listening to the two of them talk. Halfway through dinner, they get into a heated discussion about the more outward-facing expectations at work, as Joel and Cherie exchange knowing glances. Giselle talks about feeling accountable for the team she manages—for knowing that if they don’t perform, she’ll take the fall for them; for being careful not to disperse the stress from higher ups unevenly, for constantly feeling her way through how much work is reasonable to expect of them. Vincent talks about the stress of apportioning work to others—the knowledge in his own competence and the knowledge gap when it comes to how others will handle things, the desire to take on more work alone to make sure everything is accounted for.
Nora, who’d had an internship at a different firm after each year in college, weighs in too on the management styles she’d been under, to what extent the expectations from leadership affected the dynamic between her coworkers.
It’s interesting, Yves thinks, that they all have their own subset of worries, even when they come across as people who are so certain of themselves.
As the others speak, Vincent stops periodically to rub his nose with the knuckle of his index finger—an action that always seems to keep the irritation at bay, but never seems to mitigate it entirely. For a moment, his expression goes hazy, his eyes watering ever so slightly, but it always lasts only a moment.
When Mikhail cracks a joke that has the entire table laughing, Vincent takes the opportunity to cough quietly into an upheld fist. When Cherie talks about her and Joel’s extremely mathematical efforts to fit everything into the car before moving, Vincent turns aside, raising a napkin to his face with a quiet, well-contained sniffle.
It’s difficult to tell, at first. But his attempts to keep quiet, to succumb to his symptoms as inconspicuously as possible, take their toll on him. Every time he jerks forward with a near-silent stifle, Yves can tell, by Vincent’s expression when he emerges, that it’s just short of relieving.  Every sniffle seems to only add on to the mounting congestion, in the long run. It’s a slow, almost imperceptible unraveling.
And yet, when Yves asks about it—when he offers to ask the others for antihistamines, or when he offers to make the drive to a convenience store himself; when he suggests that they go out to get some fresh air—he’s always faced with the same nonanswer, the same dismissive, I’ll be fine. The same persistent, Don’t worry about it.
So Yves doesn’t worry about it, for now—at least, not outwardly.
At some point after dinner, they disperse. Yves talks to Joel and Cherie about the apartment, about the pains of moving in, about the other places they’d considered and about why this one had been at the top of the list. Then about the cat— “we had been talking about getting one,” Cherie says. “And then one day Joel was wandering around downtown, and one of the pet shops there was holding an adoption event, and then when I got home there was a cat in the living room.”
“He didn’t call you to come pick out a cat with him?”
“Have you ever heard of ‘ask for forgiveness, not permission?’” Joel says. 
“He texted me before he brought her home,” Cherie says, and scrolls through her phone until she finds a text that says: Would you kill me if I brought home a cat. Just asking for a friend. And hypothetically if we extended this thought experiment it would be an orange cat that’s 2 months old.
“That sounds like a text from someone who’s absolutely decided already,” Yves says. “Ask for forgiveness, huh? So how’s the forgiveness going?”
“I let her name her,” Joel says.
“He’s on litter box duty for the next six months,” Cherie says.
On the other side of the room, Mikhail and Vincent are having a conversation—it could be because Vincent is the person in the room that Mikhail has talked to least, to date, but Yves has a feeling that it’s so that Mikhail can gain embarrassing intel on what Yves has been doing for the past few months.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Vincent turn away, his eyebrows drawing together, raising both his hands to his face to catch a sneeze into steepled hands. Then, not a moment later, his shoulders shudder forward with another.
“Totally off topic,” Yves says, to Joel and Cherie. “Do you guys have any antihistamines?”
“I think we have some Benadryl,” Cherie says. “It should be in the bathroom cabinet, behind the mirror.”
He does find it there, eventually—next to a box of band-aids and a small cylindrical container of cotton swabs. Perhaps he’ll hand it to Vincent, discreetly, when he’s done talking to Mikhail. Vincent had said antihistamines made him tired, but now that dinner is over, it shouldn’t be an issue—Yves suspects people will start heading out soon, and he’ll be the one driving, anyways.
When he steps out into the hallway, Mikhail and Vincent are in the middle of a conversation. It’s a conversation Yves has every intention of interrupting, and no intention of eavesdropping on, until he overhears—
“So,” Mikhail says, “When you first started dating Yves, what was it that you saw in him?”
Yves winces. That’s certainly not an easy question to answer—he and Vincent don’t know each other all that well, and any planning they have done on the basis of their fake relationship has been almost entirely centered around logistics—events, important dates, flagship moments in the relationship, trivia-worthy personal details. Not… this.
But Vincent just laughs, seemingly unfazed. “Honestly, if I told you everything I liked about Yves, you’d want to date him too.”
“That’s a tall claim,” Mikhail says. Yves is positively certain that no permutation of words in the universe could make Mikhail want to date him. “You can’t just say that and not give any examples.”
“I guess Yves is a very considerate person,” Vincent says, with a sniffle. “It actually confused me, at first. When I was growing up, after I moved here from Korea, I was brought up in the sort of environment where there was always an expectation for self-sufficiency. It didn’t matter how young I was, I guess—there were certain things I was expected to know, and certain things I was expected to teach myself.”
Something about his expression looks wistful, if not a little sad. But perhaps this is a trick of the light; perhaps his eyes are just watering from earlier. “My parents trusted me with a lot of things, but it was the kind of trust where they weren’t planning on filling in the gaps for me if I fell short.” 
“I know what you mean,” Mikhail says. “That must’ve been difficult.”
“It wasn’t easy,” Vincent says. “But I’m not telling you this because it was a burden to me, or anything. Back then, it was all that I had ever known. It was normal to me, then, because it was inevitable.”
“Yves is a very different person than I am,” Vincent says. “At times, when I was growing up, it felt like kindness was always something that had to be calculated.”
He pauses, sniffling again, before he raises his arm to his face with a forceful—
“hIhh’GKT-! Hh… hh-HHih’NGKktshH!”
“Bless you,” Mikhail says reflexively.
“Thadk you,” Vincent says, sniffling. He lowers his arm. “I was always taught that if you lend a hand to someone else, you have to make sure their success is not the thing that robs you of your spot—that sort of thing. But Yves is kind even without thinking about it. He’s kind even when there’s nothing in it for him.”
“So that was what made you develop feelings for him?” Mikhail asks.
“Eventually, yes,” Vincent says. “At first, I thought that we were irreconcilably different.”
“What changed?”
“Yves is an easy person to like, romantically or otherwise,” Vincent says. “It’s a little disarming to be on the receiving end of his type of kindness. And I think that’s ultimately what made me start liking him. He’s just the sort of selfless person you can’t help but admire, if that makes sense. It’s like—when someone does so much for you out of sheer selflessness, at some point, you start wanting to be a part of their happiness too.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Yves sees a small orange blur—mostly fluff, on four short white legs, with two pointy ears—bound from the kitchen into the living room.
“I get it,” Mikhail says. “That’s an interesting answer. It makes me hopeful that Yves might’ve stumbled into a relationship that will be very good for him.”
That’s a statement he’ll have to revise, Yves thinks wryly, in a few months, whenever it stops being practical for Vincent to keep up this act.
“Oh,” Vincent says, blinking. “What makes you say that?”
“When he and Erika broke up, he was—” Mikhail pauses, briefly, and Yves is thinking about the many embarrassing—but completely, verifiably true—ways he could finish off that sentence. “—he was pretty upset,” Mikhail says, instead, which Yves decides is suitably merciful.
“Look, what’s between them is between them—I’m not going to claim I know all the ins and outs of their relationship. But given that Yves was living with me for much of the time that he and Erika were dating, I’ve seen them interact more times than I can count.”
“I don’t think Erika is a bad person,” he continues. “She’s very ambitious, which I think was good for Yves back when they first started dating. But I don’t think she recognized those things about him—how much he cares for others, how much he gives people the benefit of the doubt, how much he… well, frankly, how much bullshit he’s willing to endure on his end. I think she took his kindness for granted, a little bit, and she certainly didn’t go out of her way to reciprocate.”
“What I’m saying is, I’m glad he met you,” Mikhail says. Beside him, something small and orange hops onto the couch they’re standing next to. “I can tell that what you said was sincere.” 
If even Mikhail thought he was being sincere, perhaps Vincent is a little too good of an actor.
“Obviously, it’s early for me to be saying this, so you can take it with a grain of salt,” Mikhail continues. “But I think you could be kind to him in the way he deserves.”
The sentence feels like a punch to the stomach.
And—well.
I’m glad he met you. I think you could be kind to him in the way he deserves.
Yves has really dug himself into this hole, hasn’t he?
Mikhail thinks that Vincent is good for him—Mikhail, one of Yves’s closest friends, someone who is by no means quick to express his approval over whoever Yves is seeing—which means that when they inevitably stage their breakup, Yves is never going to hear the end of it.
Is it cruel to be taking Vincent to all of these events, to be introducing him to all of his friends, when—after the impending breakup—Vincent might never see any of them again? Is it cruel that Mikhail likes Vincent enough to be hopeful that this is going to last?
Yves doesn’t have time to contemplate it more when three things happen.
One—Gingersnap, who is still perched at the very top of the couch, nudges her face against Vincent’s arm and mews softly at him.
Two—Vincent stops what he’s doing to reach out slowly, cautiously, to scratch gently at the fur under her chin. Gingersnap purrs, leaning her head into his hand.
Three—Vincent withdraws his hand, suddenly, as if he’s been burned, twisting away reflexively. He lifts his hand—the same hand he’s been petting Gingersnap with (probably inadvisably) to his face, to cover a resounding—
“hh—hiHH-hHihh’iIZSChHH-uhh! snf-!”
The sneeze sounds ticklish and barely relieving, as if he’s been holding it in all afternoon. 
It’s only a few moments later that Vincent’s jerking forward with another ticklish, wrenching, “hh… hhiHH… NgKT-!—hh’hiiIIIK’TSCHhuhH! snf-! hiIh… hIIIH-IITSCHh’yyue!”
“Oh,” Mikhail says, finally comprehending. “You’re allergic to cats?”
“Just slightly— hIh… hH- Hiih—hhH’nNGkT-!” Vincent sniffles wetly, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “Sorry to - hh-! - cut our codversatiod short - hH… I… hhiHh’IiKSHhuh! Excuse mbe… hH… Hhh-! I’mb going to rund to the bathroom… hh… hhiIh… hh-HIih’iiIK’SHhUHhh!”
Yves ducks out into the kitchen before Vincent has a chance to head his way. He busies himself with removing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water, Somewhere behind him, he hears the bathroom door click shut, hears the slightly muffled sound of a sneeze, then another.
He shuts his eyes.
Vincent had said that it was fine. Should Yves have insisted? It’s Yves’s fault, again, that Vincent is in this situation, but then again, he couldn’t have known—both that Joel and Cherie would have a cat, and that Vincent would like her so much. Either way, Yves can’t help but feel partially responsible.
But would it be strange, now, to offer Vincent something to take for it, to openly acknowledge his affliction? Should he have done something earlier? Or should he wait to acknowledge it after they leave?
Against all doubt, he finds himself outside of the bathroom door.
Yves knocks.
There’s the sound of water running, inside, and then the sound of the faucet being turned to shut. Then there’s a brief pause. Yves is contemplating knocking again when the door opens just a crack.
There, Vincent stands, his eyes a little watery still, his nose just slightly redder than usual, his hair slightly out of place—he’s just washed his face, then.
“Yves,” Vincent says.
“Um,” Yves says, holding out the glass of water and, next to it, the bottle of Benadryl. “Thought you could use these.”
Vincent takes the cup, a little hesitantly, and sets it on the bathroom counter. Then he takes the bottle of allergy medicine, unscrews the cap, and removes two small pink pills.
“Thank you,” he says. Yves thinks he’s about to take a sip when he twists to the side suddenly, his eyes squeezing shut, snapping forward with a loud—
“hIIH’IIKKSHh’hUh!”
The hand he’s holding the cup with trembles a bit with the action, but the water inside doesn’t spill. 
“Bless you,” Yves says, taking the cup from him, before—
“hIHH… hh-Hhih’iISCHhh’Uhh!”
“Bless you!”
The only acknowledgment Vincent gives him is to take the cup back from him, sniffling, and down the pills in one quick, decisive sip.
“They’ll take some time to take effect,” Yves says, though he’s sure that Vincent knows that already, for the way he knew to take two, even without reading the label on the bottle. “Are you okay?”
“It’s been awhile since my last edcounter with a cat,” Vincent says, sniffling. 
“You forgot how bad it was?”
“It gets better with exposure,” he says. And worse without.
Yves says, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I really didn’t know they’d have a cat.”
“Even if you’d known, I ndever told you I was allergic,” Vincent says. “It’s fine.”
“I should’ve thought to check. Seriously, a housewarming party—”
“I told you, snf, I like cats,” Vincent says, clearing his throat. “So it’s fine.”
Yves looks around—at the bathroom, which looks just as pristine as he’d left it earlier, except that the tissue box on the bathroom counter is a little askew. At the slight tiredness to Vincent’s posture, even as he looks off to the side, tilting his glasses up to his forehead to swipe at his eyes with his sleeve.
“Do you want to get out of here?“ Yves says.
“I cad stay,” Vincent says, as if he really is willing to, despite the side effects. “Do you want to stay longer?”
I want you to be comfortable, Yves wants to say. 
Instead, he says, “I think I’ve just about caught up with everyone. Besides, we have work tomorrow, and I think Cherie and Joel do too, so I don’t want to stay too late, you know?”
“Okay,” Vincent says. 
“I’m happy you came,” Yves says, stepping past Vincent to put the bottle of Benadryl back into its original spot, where he found it. He snags the glass from the counter on his way out.
“Your friends are a fun crowd,” Vincent says, following him out.
Yves laughs. “I think just between you and me, Mikhail has been dying to interrogate you about this relationship.”
“He did idterrogate me,” Vincent says. “How much of it did you overhear?”
“What?”
“When you were standing out in the hallway.”
Oh. Well, perhaps he hadn’t been as discreet about eavesdropping as he’d thought. Yves says, “Okay, you got me. I heard a good amount.”
“I don’t think Mikhail noticed you there, if you’re worried,” Vincent says. “In any case, it doesd’t matter if you overheard. It was just the same story.”
They step out into the hallway. Giselle has left, already, to be home in time for a cross-timezone call with a team that works somewhere halfway across the world. Yves bids everyone else a goodbye (Cherie and Joel thank him for coming, and Cherie hugs him and Vincent both on the way out; Nora asks Vincent to send her a recipe to his beef skewers, to which Vincent admits sheepishly that he stole from a cookbook, to which Nora says “making it successfully is half the work;” Mikhail says, “If you and Vincent get a place too, I want to be invited to your housewarming party.”)
On the way out, Yves grabs both of their coats off from where they’re hanging in a closet next to the front door, and hands Vincent’s coat to him. There’s never much street parking by the apartment, so the car is parked a couple blocks down, and it’s cold enough to be worth bundling up.
“You’re very good at lying,” Yves says, when he’s sure that the door is shut behind them.
Outside, it’s snowing just a little. Snow falls from the sky in thick white flakes. Vincent pulls his hood over his shoulders, sniffling a little—though whether that’s from the cold or from the allergies, Yves can’t be sure. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“Definitely a compliment. I just mean, you play the part really well.”
“So instead of being a good boyfriend, I’m a good fake boyfriend,” Vincent says, lifting his sleeve to his face to muffle a cough into it. “Somehow, that seems much less impressive.”
“It’s arguably more impressive,” Yves says. “It definitely requires a different subset of skills.”
Vincent is quiet for a moment. When Yves looks over, he sees Vincent raise both hands to his face, steepling them over his nose, his eyes fluttering shut.
“hHh… hHh’iiiIKKSshh’uhh!”
“Bless you,” Yves says. 
“Ndot— hh… hHh… done — hH-hhIh’nGKKTsHuuh! hHh-hH’IIZSCHHhhuh!”
“Bless you! Cats, huh?”
Vincent hums. It’s snowed all through dinner—the snow under their feet coats the sidewalk, powdery and untouched. Their shoes sink into it while they walk.
“I didn’t know you used to live in Korea,” Yves says.
“It’s not a secret, snf-!,” Vincent says. “But I ndever found an occasion to bring it up.” 
Yves can think of a hundred things to say—how it’s strange only learning this information secondhand; it’s strange to play the part of someone who knows Vincent and knows him intimately, and to know so little about him, at the core of it. Isn’t it like that, with coworkers? The only window he has to Vincent’s life is made up of the things Vincent has chosen to share with him—over small talk in the break room, or conversationally over their outings, or during longer drives.
He knows an assortment of trivia, like Vincent’s favorite color (green) or Vincent’s birthday (March 15th) or the number of siblings Vincent has (one), or when he had his first kiss (during his first year in university) or his least favorite chore (vacuuming) or how he spends his weekends (generally at the library downtown, catching up on work or working on his personal projects). But even that was only for the sake of having something to say if his friends asked him—of having a basic understanding of his supposed partner that Vincent could later corroborate.
“Was it very different there?”
“I moved here when I was pretty young,” Vincent says. “But it was very different.”
When Yves looks over, there’s something complicated to Vincent’s expression that gives him pause. “Back then, I was young enough that everything was new to me. So the cultural shift wasn’t as pronounced for me as it was for the rest of the family. I think that’s why they moved back, eventually.”
“Did that happen recently?”
“They moved back just six years after we came here,” he says. “I was in high school at the time, so I stayed with my aunt to continue my education here.”
“Was it difficult living here on your own?”
“Is this useful to you?”
Yves blinks, taken aback. “Sorry?”
“Is this information useful to you?” Vincent says, looking over at him. His glasses have fogged up a little in the cold.  “Do you think your friends are going to ask about it?”
“It’s—not exactly useful in that sense,” Yves says, backtracking. “I just wanted to know. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
That’s right, he reminds himself—he and Vincent are only doing this for appearances’ sake. 
“I got used to it,” Vincent says, finally, which isn’t exactly an answer. “It’s hard to say if—hold on, I— hh-!”
Yves sees him duck off to the side, raising his arm to his face.
“Bless you—!”
“hh-Hhiih’IIZSCHh’uhH!”
The sneeze is muffled slightly into his sleeve. Vincent sniffles, keeping his arm clamped to his face for a moment, in trepidation, before dropping it to his side.
“Apologies, snf-!,” he says, as if he has anything to apologize for. “It’s hard to say if things would’ve been better if I’d gone back with them to Korea. I just know things would’ve been different.”
Yves doesn’t know what to say to that. It feels like something that Vincent has thought about for years, something that Yves couldn’t even begin to comprehend—growing up here, alone. Away from his family, in a country foreign to him, with his family all the way on the other side of the Pacific ocean; staying with a stranger. To say that it had to have been difficult would be a vast understatement. 
Had he doubted himself, then? Had it been his idea to stay here, in the States? Had his parents told him it was for the best? Had he argued with them on the subject? Had they listened?
“Do you think you’re happy enough now to justify that decision?” Yves asks.
Vincent is quiet for a bit. Around them, the snow continues to fall, silent and slow, listing upwards on every updrift. “Sometimes,” he says.
When they get back to the car, Vincent is quiet. The car is frigid, the window panes cold enough to fog up when Yves puts his hand on them—he puts the heaters on to the highest setting. If anything, being out of the cold seems to make Vincent’s nose run even more—a fact which he carefully obscures, resting his face on the palm of his hand with a few muffled sniffles.
“Thanks again for coming,” Yves says. “I know I—and everyone else—already said that to you like a hundred times. But I mean it.”
“It’s ndo problem, snf,” Vincent says. “I’ll be sure to avoid putting you into contact with cats in the future,” Yves says.
“There’s ndo need for that.”
“While we’re at it, is there anything else you’re allergic to?”
“Not much,” Vincent says. “Unless you pland on getting rid of the entire season of spring.”
“That’s secretly why you chose an office job,” Yves says. “So you could avoid all the pollen by staying inside all day.”
“Busy season was - snf-! - idvented solely for that purpose,” Vincent says.
It’s barely a couple minutes into the drive when Vincent stifles a yawn into his fist.
“Are you tired?” Yves asks. “I mean, you did say that thing about antihistamines making you tired.”
“Wide awake,” Vincent says, before—moments later—hiding another yawn behind a cupped hand.
“Evidently,” Yves says, which earns him a quiet laugh.
“Tell me if you ndeed me,” Vincent says, leaning his head lightly on the passenger seat window. As if this is work, or something. As if Yves could have any conceivable reason to need him during the drive home.
“Not at all,” Yves says. “As a matter of fact, it’d probably be a good thing if you close your eyes. You wouldn’t have to look at all this traffic.” It’s a little past rush hour, but traffic is only just starting to clear up, and driving in the city at any hour has never been a particularly pleasant experience.
Vincent opens his eyes. “Do you wadt me to help navigate?”
“I want you to sleep,” Yves says. “I’m an expert at handling traffic.”
It’s as if all this time, Vincent was merely waiting for permission. Yves isn’t certain if he’s asleep, but he certainly looks to be—when Yves sneaks a glance at him, his eyes are shut, his shoulders slack, and his breathing has evened out. It’s an image Yves wants to thoroughly take in—the slow rise of his chest, his eyelashes fanned out over his cheeks. 
Instead, he drives. Instead, he stares hard at the rows and rows of cars before him, at every traffic light, and tries not to think about—
Vincent, at the housewarming party, kneeling down to pet a cat smaller than his hand, despite being well aware of the consequences.
Vincent, calling Yves kind even without thinking about it, talking about him—about his best qualities—with near-artful dishonesty.
Vincent, walking beside him in the snow, talking candidly about growing up here; the unspoken understanding between them about how much he must’ve given up.
That Vincent, the same Vincent from work, asleep in Yves’s passenger seat, while Yves drives him home.
Yves can’t help but think that if he caught feelings for someone like Vincent, Erika would be the least of his problems.
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nightfayre · 11 months
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Jealousy isn’t quite what Guan Shan felt when Jian Yi returned.
When he’d gotten Zheng Xi’s text — a mere ‘Jian Yi’s back.’, as if Zheng Xi wasn’t rendered half-mute when Guan Shan called him immediately afterward — the feeling had started deep in Guan Shan’s chest, clawing outwards as if rediscovering the world after a period of dormancy. It didn’t hurt, but it took hold of something he forgot existed within him, rattling it back to life despite him believing it was dead.
To his defense, it had spent seven years in the grave. Guan Shan had thrown a fistful of soil atop its polished casket — then another, and another, until it was secured six feet under and he could stand on top of the mound and press his shoe prints into the wet earth and pretend like that meant he’d overcome it. Like he’d gotten the last word.
“I don’t know what I should do,” Zheng Xi had said on the phone, his voice strange. Guan Shan couldn’t tell if he was crying or angry or both. “I don’t know if I’ll let him inside next time. It was a mess. He was so—”
There was a long pause.
“Did you fight?” Guan Shan asked.
Another pause. “No. We didn’t… yell. But he was upset that I was upset that he’s just appeared and I— I didn’t know what to tell him.” He sighed, and Guan Shan could see him with his head in a hand, staring at the floor. “I told him to leave, and he did.”
Guan Shan knew Zheng Xi well enough to recognize that any advice at that moment would fall on deaf ears. The first year of Jian Yi’s disappearance had a violent impact on Zheng Xi, and Guan Shan quickly learned that quiet company was the best medicine. If and when Zheng Xi wanted to talk, Guan Shan would be there. So he said, “I can catch the train.”
Zheng Xi hesitated. “It’s late.”
“I can be there in an hour.”
After a long moment: “Okay.”
They hung up and, pulling on his shoes, Guan Shan ignored the tremble of his hands. He thought of He Tian for the first time in months.
He wondered if it was possible for jealousy to feel like a ghost standing in the corner of the room.
———
continue reading on AO3!
(reblogs greatly appreciated!! <3)
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hella1975 · 8 months
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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annaholak · 2 years
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"No Gytha, you are not buying the gargoyle! You have enough garden gnomes already!!"
Inktober 2022 - Day 1: Gargoyle
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youssefguedira · 9 months
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luca marinelli character FIGHT: FINALE
thank you all for coming along on this ride with me i've been having a great time.
in first place, our winner is (entirely unsurprisingly):
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nicolò di genova! by a not insignificant margin (view the polls here and here)
and of course, in second place:
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primo nizzuto! he almost made it.
tied for third are martin eden and fabio cannizzaro!
thank you all for playing this game with me! but it's not over yet: starting tomorrow we'll begin with the Bonus Rounds, i.e. matchups suggested to me by You, or ones i thought would be funny. not all suggestions made it to keep from dragging this tournament out forever. there WILL be another post with some extra statistics from this tournament tomorrow, but that concludes this Luca Marinelli Character FIGHT, and i'll see you all in the bonus rounds
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basketobread · 6 months
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i was getting tattooed yesterday and the artist and i were talking abt baldur's gate 3 bc we're huge nerd friends and i showed him some of your art and we spent like 10 minutes scrolling through and laughing TY for making your art it brings joy 2 so many :^)
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oh WOW well if this isnt just the most heartwarming message EVER... 😭😭😭❤❤❤ you have no idea how happy this made me to hear HAHAHA it's such a weird thought to know that like... my silly art is being perceived by others? and enjoyed? if that makes sense at all LOL
like i'm just very happy to be here and help people laugh man it's a big honor honestly 😭🙏❤❤❤ thank you SO much for the kind words and MAKE SURE TO TELL YOUR TATTOO ARTIST FRIEND I SAID HELLO AND THANKS FOR LAUGHING ALONG WITH MY ART TOO ❤❤❤
have a lovely day!! this message made my entire night IDSUFHDFIU
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