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#thankfully im here to make sure you get better :D
kebriones · 2 years
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Alcibiades: I am confused.
Socrates: Do you know why? I hate to say it, but it's because you're stupid.
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angels-fantasy · 6 months
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Girl let me just say your fics are superb and thanks for the quirkless child one I requested with Bakugou! I promise I’ll leave you be for a bit in a second, but… post final war; everyone who has came out alive clearly is suffering from injuries, health issues, and trauma (both physical trauma and mental trauma) no? So how about a Bakugou x Reader with a reader who was essentially Bubbly, Firery and Energetic, to after the war who is exhausted, is often having nightmares over Bakugou cause well he nearly died, sleep deprived and basically depressed because I can guarantee nobody should be sane after a war, especially not children like our lovely highschoolers. Please make it angst to comfort, because seeing how Bakugou also has developed I’m sure as sad as he would be he would also be understanding and try to be comforting (despite his awkwardness). I’d appreciate if you could get this done to be as close as possible (and maybe just a little long than the one I requested last time- no pressure) BUT if anything you find in my request may be too triggering or something feel free to make it less triggering and change it, I just ask if you can keep the same vibe and theme with the reader who changed drastically after the wars and is getting comforted by Bakugou, Angst to comfort (duh), thank you so much, and I hope I’m not troubling you too much! — An anon who enjoys suffering, angst, and comfort ((SAC) Anon); (get it? Suffering, Angst, Comfort, SAC, wait that has a good ring to it, damn I have a new alias, I’ll shut up now)
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I'm Okay, As Long as He's Here (Request)
Katsuki Bakugou x Reader
Details/Warnings: reader has a panic attack and nightmares!! pls be weary of this. angst to fluff, well, my attempt at angst lol
Word Count: 1k
thank you for your request and the support :D it means a lot to me 🩷 btw don't ever feel like you're bothering me or like you need to leave me alone! i like talking to everyone :) also this is a good little plot, but im not the best at writing angst but this is helping me improve i think, so please tell me how i did! i really hope you like it SAC anon hahah
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Before the war, you were a different person. Looking at you now, no one would ever guess you were once a bubbly, out going person. But Katsuki knew you were, and sometimes, he missed the old you.
It was hard to watch you wake up crying in the middle of the night from your horrible nightmares of the war. Some being about his near death experience, and others being about him dying in other ways.
Some nights, you didn't sleep at all, and it was really showing.
"Hey, keep your head up. I don't want you to fall asleep." Katsuki said. It was already months after the war, so you were all back at school, but you were one of the few students that was struggling the most.
He definitely has his struggles too, but he knew he had to be there for you, because yours were much worse.
You opened your eyes wider, trying your best to stay awake. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep last night."
"You havin' nightmares again?"
You nodded, he sighed.
"Come sleep in my dorm tonight. You sleep better with me and you know it."
You agreed and continued trying your best to stay awake for the rest of the day. Occasionally, Katsuki would have to wake you up or remind you to stay awake. The lack of sleep made it hard to focus, especially in Hero Training. Thankfully, Mr. Aizawa and the rest of the teachers were understanding of the students who were struggling.
Once school was over it felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You knew you had homework to do, but right now you'd rather sleep. Or at least attempt to. Since you were going to be with Katsuki tonight, you were probably only going to have one nightmare. Plus, he'd be there to comfort you.
Following your boyfriend to his dorm room, you immediately changed into some of your clothes that he had there for you, and then laid down on his bed.
For a while, you just silently watched him as he sat at his desk and did his homework, something you should also be doing.
"What're you starin' at?"
You smiled, but not as brightly as before, "I'm just admiring you."
He huffed, "Good, I'm awesome."
Rolling your eyes, you said, "And there he is."
He laughed and continued doing his homework. You just continued watching him, because it was something that comforted you. It was a reminder that he was okay and alive.
Knowing he was safe right in front of you, you fell asleep.
...
You didn't know what time it was, but it must've been late since the room you were in was dark.
You clutched your chest as you sat up in bed and breathed heavily, feeling tears prick your eyes.
Of course, you had another nightmare again. This one in particular was about Katsuki, and he was in the arms of Shigaraki. You saw the villain use his Decay quirk on him, and your boyfriend began to crumble away but you were paralyzed in your dream. There was nothing you could do.
The nightmare felt so real and so scary, like they usually do. You felt so helpless and scared. The evil that emitted from Shigaraki and All For One was something you'd always remember.
You subconsciously began to rock yourself back and forth and made self soothing noises as you continued to have a panic attack. They never got easier, or less scary as time went on. It always felt like you were going to die.
Your panic must've woke Katsuki up, because you suddenly heard his voice calling out to you.
"Hey, hey! Breathe baby, you gotta breathe." He said.
You shook your head, "I-I can't! It hurts. I'm scared, I'm gonna die!"
He carefully grabbed your hands and held them in his. He took one of them and brought it to his chest near his heart so you could feel it beat.
"What is my heart doing right now?" He asked. This was a method he used to ground you during these situations, especially because he knew how you felt about him and his safety.
You looked at his chest, "Beating. Your heart is beating."
"Right. Now what do you feel here?" He asked, now placing a hand on the blanket that was on top of you guys.
"The blanket."
"What does it feel like?"
"It's soft and fluffy."
As he continued distracting you from your panic, you eventually calmed down. You were still crying a bit, but he held you in his arms as you let it out.
"He killed you Katsuki. I was so scared, and I couldn't do anything!" You cried into his chest.
He rubbed your back, "You know that shit isn't real, no matter how real it feels. I'm right here living and breathing. I'm safe, okay?"
You nodded and sniffed, "Okay." You placed a hand on his chest over his heart and felt it beat, the steady rhythm of it comforting you.
Katsuki grabbed that hand and kissed the palm of it, "Love you. I'll be here all night, 'kay?"
"I love you too. Thank you."
"It's no problem."
The next morning, you felt more rested than usual. It must've been because you only had one nightmare, which was an improvement.
You noticed you woke up before your boyfriend, so you just let him sleep a little longer while you got on with your morning routine. You had a lot of your own things in his room, including an extra toothbrush which you were thankful for.
When he eventually woke up, he walked over to you and hugged you tightly.
"You feelin' okay?" He asked.
You nodded as best as you could in his tight grip, "Mhm."
"Be honest."
"I am! I feel a lot better than last night." You insisted as you pulled away slightly, still keeping your arms around him.
He hummed and kissed the top of your head, "Mkay. Wanna sleep with me again tonight?"
"Yeah, I'll bring more clothes later."
He smiled, "'Kay. Let's go to class." He said and threw an arm over your shoulder, making you smile up at him.
Yeah, you knew things would be okay as long as he was around.
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authors note
i hope you liked it! i'm sorry it was kinda short, i've been in a little writing stump but im trying to get out of it!
love ya 🩷
tags for bakugou fics: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot
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jinx-on-mars-19xx · 5 months
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Make Wishes Come True
🩸Previous Parts Here🩸
Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)
Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, cursing, hurt/comfort, d/s undertones, fight for control, weapons, mentions of knife play, gun play (seriously it gets weird), threats, teasing, accidental proposals, simulated blowjob (on a gun), needy boys, name calling, fingering, improper use of a weapon, spitting, biting/marking, dirty talk, controlled sex, messy orgasms, piss kink/omorashi, accidental kink play, cum marking, mentions of docking, body worship, foreskin play, joking with each other, happy boys, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: explicit af
All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤
It was a long ass day getting everyone settled, they'd ordered beds for one of the apartments to house the omegas and made another one into an office for The Doctor. At first Blain had seemed worried he'd be staying with the others but after getting food for them all they took him upstairs, giving him a bedroom across from Tom's. The flat was starting to get cramped and Colson was surprisingly happy about that. He always wanted a big family he just hadn't expected to end up the mother of the group. The title still didn't feel like it fit.
They'd spent so long focused on their people they hadn't even discussed what to do about Megan. It was a constant fear in the back of his mind but by the time night fell he was far too tired to worry about it. That was a Monday Kells problem and it was still thankfully Sunday. At least for a few hours more. “I gave Blain one of the company credit cards and an iPad. Told him to order whatever clothes and shit he wants for his room.” The omega sighed as he came out of his quick shower and found his mate sitting on their bed. Dom smiled up at him and held out his hand.
“Tha's sweet tha’. You sure you ready for ‘is? I mean we bout to be parents anyways but… a teenager?” Dom whispered as he pulled his lover close and took the man's towel to dry his skin for him.
“You mean a second one? You're barely older than him, babe. I'm not worried. Rook was about that age when we took him in.” Col shrugged, sighing happily at the feel of his partner massaging and drying his thighs.
“I feel older. He's just so ‘urt. I don't bloody get ‘ow he ended up ‘ere. I want to ask but I don't want ‘im feeling interrogated.”
“We got this. I'm way more ready to take in a pissed off teenager than pop out a kid. A teenager can defend himself, dude proved that today. I can break our baby just picking it up wrong for fucks sake.” He hadn't voiced a lot of his fears but as always it felt safest in the dark in their room. Dom always reassured him and kept them safe.
“You'll be amazing. You already are.” The Alpha soothed, kissing over Colson's belly after he dried it gently. Thankfully their little one was settled for a while and the omega hoped that meant he could get some real sleep.
“You're not changing your mind are you?” He asked softly, carding his fingers through wild hair. He just needed to keep his mate as close as possible.
“Course not. Jus' felt guilty. Already moved me and Tom into ya flat and now wiv the baby I worried you was jus' saying yes to Blain for me.” Dom rested his chin on the swell of their child. Colson was mostly dry but he kept his hands rubbing knots out of the older man's lower back, his fingers occasionally teasing the top of his ass. He wasn't sure what the mood was so he left the option there.
“Nah. I adopt strays and Tom likes me better anyway. You, however…” The omega teased but the pout his partner gave him was enough to stop him from going further. He could tell when there was a hint of real emotion and the boy obviously needed to feel loved. “You're my family. Full stop.” He tried to mock the Alpha's accent. “So are they and so can he be. I take people in if you haven't noticed.”
“I know. Fank you. You me family too.”
“Duh.” Col teased as he crawled into his mate's lap. With his belly between them it was getting harder but Dom kept him balanced. Their lips met gently as he reached under the killer's shirt, his touch ghosting over the other's skin.
“Should marry yas.” The Alpha purred when Colson pulled off his tee, it was an offhanded thought but one he knew in his heart was right.
“Pfft. You should. I'm fucking awesome.” Kells wasn't really paying attention, not anymore, at least not to the conversation at hand. He'd had a stressful fucking day and he wanted his bitch nude. He wasn't sure what they would do after but that was the first step.
“No Cols- fuck. Alright, never mind.” Dom finally gave up when the older man started pawing at his pants. Both their fingers reached for the buttons and got tangled, making the process even slower. After a moment he huffed softly and swat Col’s hands away which seemed to make the other man even more aggressive. Instead of fighting for his zipper the omega tangled his touch in his psycho's hair and yanked his head back till his throat was a long line to explore with his teeth and tongue. “Shite, it's like tha' is it?” The boy hissed, getting a growl in return. “Can't get out me pants wiv you like tha'.”
Kells grumbled, pushing Dom back onto the bed roughly before crawling off to stand in front of him. “Get them the fuck off then. Hurry. You know you already pissed me off today. Ruined one of my favorite hoodies. Took my kill. I should kick your ass instead of letting you have mine.”
Dominic obeyed his lover but whimpered internally. He'd hoped they'd get to be a little soft together but his mate obviously needed an outlet for the rage that filled him all day and the nervous energy of losing control of a situation. He could be a good bitch though as long as he got to feel loved after. “Wha’ ya want? You talking a lot but not saying nuffin. I'd give you me arse but it ain't like you can use it.”
Col’s eyes went wide. The way his partner back-talked him felt like their first time together. He normally enjoyed Dom pushing back but he still wasn't sure what he needed. “You think I can't fuck you?”
“Not wiv tha' belly in the way. But I fink you got a big mouf for such a pretty lil omega.”
The omega in question had left his gun on the bedside table instead of the safe with all they were going through and in the next moment he was moving to grab for it and turning it on his mate. Of course he wouldn't shoot him but he could still threaten and the way it made his lover look at him always got him wet. “That's fucking it. You think I've got a big mouth? Bitch, have you seen you? Maybe you just say you hate these things because you really like them too much. Is that it? I mean you say you hate Alphas but you're just begging to be topped. Fell in love with me didn't you? Starting to make me wonder here.”
Dom swallowed hard when the weapon’s barrel slid up over his throat to tap against his lips. He arched a brow but opened, teasing his tongue over the cold metal. He trusted his man and he knew it was perfectly clean. Colson felt warmth rush straight to his core at the sight of the boy's lips wrapping around his gun. Sometimes it truly was an extension of himself and he'd never thought it could look so overwhelmingly erotic.
“I could fuck you with it. You'd let me, wouldn't you? You like being my sweet little whore so fucking much you'd bend over and let me shove it up your ass.” He didn't know where the words were coming from and he knew he probably shouldn't say them. When Dom whimpered he knew they were crossing a new line together and they couldn't come back. Not that they'd want to. He pulled the barrel free and pointed it at Dom’s temple before he tossed it back where he picked it up. “But nah, you fucking hate those things.”
Whatever noise Dominic made was barely human but he couldn't swallow it down. The exhilaration of the moment didn't die even when the weapon moved. They'd played around with knives but never really that and while he wasn't really sure of his answer he was glad not to actually need one, with Colson he'd almost always say yes. Whatever had happened it seemed to be over, the omega needed dominance and he had it in spades. “Use me, whatever you need. M’yours.” He vowed, his hands shaking as he pushed off his slacks completely and curled his palm around his aching dick. He was hard before but now he was throbbing- his cockhead shiny with precum and his knot already pulsing, ready for whatever the hell was next.
Kells stood back and watched his good boy squirm for him. He didn't know what he wanted but he was almost scared to touch. Dom was the sociopath but he had self control problems. He'd already backhanded him twice, bit, and shot him, and now he'd threatened his ass with a gun. Literally. He wouldn't kill him but there was a part of him that needed to own him so completely there would never be a question in the killer's mind. The boy had stalked him but sometimes he felt insane in the way he loved him. As if he could devour him. One bite at a time. The Alpha already had a few scars to prove it.
“Did I do summat?”
“No, shut your mouth. I just haven't decided what to do with you yet. Did I say you could speak?”
“No but ya didn't say I couldn't. You know me mouf. Only one way to shut me up.” Dom sighed, flicking his tongue out to wet his plush lips.
“Oh yeah?” The man's voice went raspy. He really loved his mate's mouth. He had to clench his thighs to try and keep his slick from dripping on the floor but he knew it was a lost cause. “I should jack off and make you watch for that.”
“Yeah alright. But wha’ a waste of a good whore.” The normally good boy was being a right bitch and he damn well knew it. He needed to be touched even if it was with a rough hand.
Colson’s eyes flashed gold and narrowed, his lover was trying so hard to push his buttons that it gave him an idea. One that would keep him from worrying about what he might do in the heat of the moment. “You know what? No. You want me so fucking bad? I get to be the doll tonight and you take what you want.”
That stopped Dom in his tracks and he knew his eyes were crimson and wide as a deer's as he stared back at his omega. The man had to know something like that would worry him, it felt too much like being one of the Alpha's he hated. His pulse raced in his chest and sweat broke out over his skin. He accidentally squeezed his own dick too hard and had to let himself go. “Wha’?”
“You heard. Get off the fucking bed.”
Dom stumbled off the mattress and Kells took his place, letting himself spread out and stretch, arching his back just like he knew the boy liked. “Five.” He sighed as he relaxed again, folding his arms under his head and letting his thighs open. “Four.”
“Fuck.”
“You might want to touch me. Three.”
Dominic growled under his breath and fit himself between the man's legs. He waited for the next number to be uttered with a nervous smile on his face. He knew the other understood his plans but it was still something he couldn't pass up.
“Twooh fuck-” He stopped counting when his mate buried two fingers inside his drenched walls. He wouldn't torture his bitch completely but they both knew they needed more. He didn't really even want to start with foreplay, he wanted to be ruined. He wanted to feel like they took a part of each other for keeps.
“Dripping for me. Look at ya. Such a pretty wet cunt.” The Alpha didn't normally dirty talk, he left that up to his more experienced dominant but for once he let himself use his mouth for more than pleasure. “So tight for me. Can't never fuck ya open, can I? Feel like a virgin every bloody time. Sometimes ya do even bleed for me.”
Colson shivered at the darkness in his lover's tone, he wasn't used to him talking like that and the more Dom focused on his core the wetter he felt. Every thrust of his touch squelched.
“Kept me leashed all day, shoved a gun in me mouf, keep bragging bout fucking me but can't. Now ya jus' wanna lie back and get fucked? Fink you deserve tha'? Fink ya pussy tha’ good?” Dom swallowed hard, the scent of Col’s slick was heavy on the back of his tongue and it was starting to hit him; he could do whatever he wanted. Part of him wanted to eat his lover out but he knew that wasn't what they both needed. “Ain't knotting yas. Ya too close.” He huffed, pressing a surprisingly gentle kiss to his baby mumma's belly. That more than anything seemed to aggravate the man but somehow Colson kept his mouth shut. “I'll fuck you, I'll slip me dick right ‘ere and pound ya pretty cunt until you squirt for me. But right before I pop?” He paused, scissoring open his fingers and slipping them free just to suck them between his lips and lick them clean.
The Alpha moaned around the taste of him and made a filthy show of getting clean. When he finally pulled the digits free it was with a sloppy wet pop. “Right before, Imma pull out and soak you in me cum. Rub it in. Claim all of yas.” Before pulling back he pursed his lips and spit over Col’s pink folds, grinning when he could see him clench.
Dom let himself play, his fingers teasing from his base to his tip where he eased his foreskin over his cockhead and back. He knew it fascinated the other man, sometimes he woke up to Colson’s hand in his shorts just sliding it back and forth. He let himself be vocal, every time something made his nerves tingle he'd moan or whimper. If his mate wanted him to fuck he would.
The first press inside was a fucking joke. Colson knew his bitch was playing with him. The boy kept hold of himself and pushed his tip between Col’s drenched folds and slipped just inside before pulling back out. Kells refused to react, he had to prove he could keep control of at least himself but it was torture not to move. His lip rolled between his teeth and he bit down until he tasted blood. Of course Dom licked up every trace and suckled at the wound like the perfect freak he was but he just kept teasing. The omega would go mad before the kid kept his promise and made him squirt.
“Ready luv?” The Alpha purred, kissing softly against lax lips. The only answer he received was an over dramatic eye roll.
He planted his elbows on either side of Col’s head and inched inside him like he was drilling for oil- Kells supposed it wasn't so different but he knew he could take him hard. Every buck forward he sunk a little deeper, circling his hips as if in a dance. If Colson were talking he'd throw out a few playful insults, ask if the killer was taking up belly dancing. Not that he'd complain. Shit that might actually be hot.
A growl rumbled in Dom's chest, the sound joining the messy wet squelch of his dick fucking deeper and deeper inside Col’s vise like spasming walls. If not for the way his pussy reacted the Alpha wouldn't think he was wanted. He knew Col was messing with him but he needed some noise. Some bloody reaction. Sweat dripped from his hair to the other man's inked chest as their eyes met. That golden stare felt somehow needy and passive at the same time.
When the omega finally felt his lover's plush thighs against his and he knew the other's cock was deep in his guts, something in him relaxed but his need for control still reigned. Dom must have felt the change but misunderstood the reason because his next thrust was rough enough to raise Col’s ass off the bed. Hands pressed under his back as the Alpha molded their bodies together. He was careful around the belly but he obviously needed to feel and be felt in return. His beautiful face buried against the older man's neck and his fangs nipped over Colson's racing pulse. When he swallowed excess saliva he knew the boy had to feel it.
“Feel me? ‘Ow deep am I Cols? Feel me deep in ya? You can fake it all ya want but I can feel ya needy cunt. Ya can't completely ‘ide wha' I do to ya. Never could. I'm the only one who could bring ‘is outta you and I'm the only one who ever will. Every inch of you is mine from the inside-” He paused long enough to slam his cock home, hammering over Col’s spot. “-out. Ya might act like a doll but I can feel ‘ow I drive ya wild. Ya wet as fuck, squeezing me so ‘ard I can barely pull out, and ya pretty dick is making a mess of me skin.”
Colson swallowed again, his eyes blinking fast. He wasn't exactly surprised his virgin boy could be so filthy but the pride was something new and hot. It made him want to present even though he was already getting fucked. It was a war inside him. Did he give in and let his lover win this one time? Dom was obviously desperate for touch. Reaction. To see Col’s desire. Which was more important? His own need for control or his mate?
One long leg wrapped around the Alpha's back while the other planted against the mattress to meet him thrust for thrust. Fingers carded into his hair and kept their faces close and the killer grinned and almost cried. “All for you.” The omega whimpered against his lips. “All yours. Gonna prove it?”
“Fuck yeah.” The Alpha promised, happiness and pleasure warming him from the inside out. It was a strange moment of fighting back tears because his mate was trying to show him how important he was but they were also falling into each other and chasing release. Their lips met until they weren't kissing so much as breathing each other's air and he tried to slow the roll of his body to angle his hips just so. Kells fought against every measured thrust and tried to meet flesh to flesh but Dom knew what he was doing. “Let me make ya feel good.”
Colson tried not to grumble because his boy truly seemed to think he knew the omega's body and for once he was trying to give up and let his bitch lead. It was a fight to make himself still but when he let his focus fall to the way his lover felt, all his nerves seemed alive. The Alpha was gentle but sure, every move had his crown massaging Col’s spot. The fucker was so big and angled so well it felt like he was putting pressure on both his pleasure centers. It didn't help that Dom's stomach kept rubbing over his dick. The killer’s cocksure attitude was right, he was making Kells see heaven.
The coil pulled tighter with every thrust, the pressure building. For once they both fell mostly silent, just their bodies making all the noise. Their panted breaths and racing pulses felt deafening in their ears but Dom rolled his lip between his fangs and worked to make his mate break first. He wouldn't press deeper, he knew if he did he wouldn't be able to stop and though his knot was threatening, he couldn't let them lock together. A soft moan broke free from Col's lips before another. Another.
“T-there-ohfuck!” Dom tried not to smirk as his mate shattered below him, his core clenching tight as he gushed hot and messy. The Alpha never stopped moving, keeping his thrusts exact even when Col trembled and scored the skin of his neck and back.
Colson didn't know what sounds escaped him when his orgasm hit, he was floating too high. He barely noticed as his boy pushed himself up to watch until the pressure release seemed to… switch inside him.
Dominic’s heavy crimson gaze tracked Col’s cock as he came, and when pearly white became a golden stream he arched a brow but didn't stop. He'd never shame his baby mumma for letting go completely and it honestly made his hind brain proud. He'd fucked his omega so good Kells lost control. The man who needed to be so in charge of everything had broken for him. From him. It pushed him even closer to that edge.
“Jus' like tha'. Fuck. So ‘ot Daddy.” He rasped, watching the golden stream wash Col’s tats clean of his spend and drip down to soak himself and darken the sheets below. It tickled his shaft, over his balls, and dripped hot down his thighs. It was never a kink he'd thought about though it was one Colson had mentioned off hand. He hadn't even wondered about it but he found himself fascinated. In a way he felt claimed.
“Yeah?” The omega gasped. The man was fighting back embarrassment but he wouldn't apologize. Not with how his bitch was staring at his piss drenched belly. When he'd offered this up before this wasn't how he thought it would end up but fuck he couldn't say it wasn't hot. The release itself was so intense he wasn't even sure if he was still cumming or it was just aftershocks and pressure relief.
“Fuck yes.” The Alpha couldn't take it anymore, not with the fucked out sight of his mate. He thrust deep once more to soak himself in slick before pulling out and curling his palm around his cock. Kells reached to help, his fingertips teasing his tip but he was so close already it only took a few strokes to spill a mess of white heat over his target. His rapture hit so hard some of it landed on Col’s chest but he couldn't look away from the way it mixed with the other man's piss. His legs shook under him, his arm trembling where he held himself up, but until his dick twitched from overstimulation he kept stripping himself just to watch the sticky mess combine.
When Dom finally couldn't hold himself up anymore he fell next to his lover as they came down together. Both their hands found their way to Col’s belly to do exactly what he vowed. The boy smiled as he caught his breath, his fingers tracking the mess up and over the other's chest, even stopping to tweak his mate's sensitive nipples. Kells rolled on his side and wiped his palm over Dom's pink tinged skin. It wasn't fair that he was the only one filthy.
They didn't need to talk about their possible new kink, they never exactly negotiated so much as explored and discovered what worked between them. Dominic wasn't shaming him but enjoying the mess. It didn't stop the Alpha from boasting a little though and Col was proud of him for it. It was nice to see the normally quiet boy so prideful. “Look wha' I made ya do.” He purred. The smile he gave Kells made his core clench again.
“You and the parasite you gave me laying on my bladder.” Just because he loved the pride didn't mean Colson could let it go without a small playful fight. He'd given up too much control and he wasn't sure if he was okay with it. It terrified him sometimes how safe he felt with his mate.
“Bollocks. I read about it. It ain't jus' the baby. Made ya cum so ‘ard you couldn't stop ya'self.”
Col narrowed his gaze and tried not to laugh. “You read about it, huh? You googling how to get me off?” Nerdy precious fuck.
“Course. Ended up down a ‘ole after trying to find out wha’ the fuck docking were.” Kells flushed hot at his words. Docking was something he'd suggested. His boy's foreskin fascinated him and he wanted to try everything they could together. “So bloody ‘ot.” He sighed again, his palm sliding through the cooling mess on Col’s skin. The omega watched as his jade eyes flashed red again and his pupils started to blow.
“Don't even. It's bedtime.” Kells huffed, not at all surprised when Dom pouted at him. “Don't get it up again, seriously. You have to change the sheets while I rinse off. This mattress was a custom order and I'm not letting it soak in.”
“Why do I gotta change it?” The boy teasingly grumbled as he pushed himself up to help his lover out of bed. Of course he would do it but part of him wanted to sleep in the scents. He was kind of glad Colson would leave him be for a few minutes because he was desperate to roll in it.
When Col was finally standing and looking back from the bathroom door he stuck his tongue out at his bratty boy. “Didn't you cause it? You were just saying ‘look what I made you do’, didn't you mean that? It's your mess, cocky bitch. Clean it up. Then you can meet me in the shower.”
“I fhought it were the parasite’s fault.” The Alpha joked back.
“Yeah well I can't make Punk fix the bed. Don't call our baby a parasite. Fuck is wrong with you?” At Col’s teasing words Dom flipped him off but flopped onto the messy bed and wiggled in the wet spot.
“I saw that.”
“Oi! Bollocks ya did. You ain't seen me wanking the day we met and ya can't see me now.” Dominic held up both middle fingers in the direction of the treated glass wall. You could vaguely make out shadows from the other side but his omega was lying about being able to see exactly what he was doing. Kells just wanted to seem omniscient and it hadn't been hard to figure out what he did that first day since he left a mess on Col’s pillow but the man always tried to bring it up to make a point.
“You're a fucking freak. Get out of the wet spot and clean the fucking bed. If you hurry we can try that thing you looked up.”
“Luv, tha's summat you want. ‘Ow is tha' a reward for me?”
“I didn't say it was, just that I might still be horny.”
The Alpha didn't respond but he laughed to himself as he set to work changing the sheets. He never would have thought that first day that he'd end up having a family with the man let alone being so fucking in love he'd tried to propose. He'd give it time because he knew his lover heard him but eventually he'd ask again in the right way. He didn't mind that they were doing everything backwards, it worked for them. Besides, they had a long ass day and he just wanted to pamper his mate.
Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤
So this was a lot of smut 🫣 and a LOT of exploration. Let me know what you think about some of it and we can see about more in the future. I thought I'd give you a big smut chapter because we're about to hit massive plot again. I hope you're enjoying it! 💣🖤
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goldenempyrean · 2 years
Note
"I know, sweetie, but you have to take it so your fever goes down.." “That medicine tastes gross.” With sick Natasha
Eggs Need Love Too
〚 Notes - This idea was really cute! I’ve received so many reqs too (seriously im at like 30 atm) so tysm for them all! Im hoping to get some stuff written tomorrow too :D 〛
〚 Summary - Nat’s sick and doesn’t want to take her medicine. 〛
〚 Wordcount - 720 〛
〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙
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“Oh sweetie, no. You shouldn’t be up.” You voiced your concerns as your sick girlfriend padded into the room, the main duvet from your bed wrapped snugly around her.
Natasha only replied with a thick sniffle as she came to nestle beside you, cuddling into your side as she got comfy.
“Shouldn’t you be tucked up in bed baby? I thought you were meant to be sleeping.”
“Cant sleep, too hot an’ mm’ missed you.” Natasha’s words were slightly slurred as she spoke, prompting you to raised your hand to cup her cheek, and you could feel the heat coursing through her. You don't need a medical license to know that she was running a hell of a fever but that didn’t really come as a surprise, the crimson flush settled across her cheeks was an almost certain giveaway.
“Baby, your temps up again. Im gonna have to go get you some more of that medicine again.” You sighed as you kissed her forehead.
“Nooo,” Natasha whined as she buried her face down against your shoulder, “That medicine tastes gross.”
“I know, sweetie, but you have to take it so your fever goes down. Otherwise that big, smart brain of yours will become a poached egg and we don’t want that, do we?”
“No,” She sniffled, rubbing the blanket against her nose before she began mumbling outloud, “but sometimes eggs are good, many eggs are under-appreciated by society. Eggs need love too.”
“Yes Natty, eggs need love too. Now stay here my little chicken.” You pressed another kiss down to the clearly delirious assassin’s forehead before taking the opportunity to gently slide out from her hold as you went over to retrieve some of the medicine.
You made sure to grab her a cold bottle of water too from the fridge, tucking it under your arm as you poured out the correct dosage into a small shot glass. To be fair to her, this particular medicine wasn’t known for its amazing taste, you knew it was gross, even the smell alone never failed to make your stomach churn, but it really was the best kind afterall. Anyway, all you had to do now was get her to take it. A task easier said then done..
Coming back to the sofa, you retook your original position and you could feel Natasha shivering against you as you drew out the medicine, whining like a fussy toddler as you held it out to her.
“C’mom please take it, here, I even got you some water too,” You went to hand it to her but stopped just before she took it. Instead you raised the cool bottle to her overheated forehead, the action earning a sigh of relief from Nat.
“That feels good, hm?”
She nodded against you.
“Do you wanna feel like that all the time?”
She nodded again.
“Well sweetie, if you take this medicine, it’ll help you feel much better I promise. It should make you sleepy too so you can go back up to bed and help your body fight off that yucky bug, wouldn’t that be good?”
And thankfully after a little more fussing and some gentle coaxing, Natasha caves and gulps down the shot of medicine like a true champion, her expression instantly turning sour as she held back a gag, “That was disgusting.”
“I know baby, but you did amazing,” You then handed her the water which you’d still been holding to her forehead, “there you go, that should wash away that icky taste.”
Natasha didn’t hesitate to gulp down the water, and the bottle was almost empty in a shockingly short amount of time and before long she was nuzzling back up against you.
You both stayed quiet for some time, content to be still as you held her. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the effects of the meds started to kick in. Natasha yawned widely against you, her eyes growing heavier by the minute.
Soon enough, you felt her body relax against your own and you looked down to see Nat’s soft, pale lips parting as she drifted into sleep. And though her condition is anything but pleasant, her sleepiness is downright adorable. "You did a wonderful job, baby." You whispered down into her hair as you gently lifted her into your arms, “now lets get you back to bed.”
〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@sayah13 @mahalkitanova @romanoffskisser @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @shin-conan-kun @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson
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buggerzz · 9 months
Text
Was thinking about @shapeshiftersinc 's binders and wanted to review them on here :D
Im gonna be fully honest because. Why the hell would i lie???
Overview-
They are a great binder company. I fully reccomend buying from them- they have the best chest binders ive been able to find and are extremely inclusive and helpful. If you have the money to get one and are worrying it wont be worth it. Trust me. It is.
Pros-
Extremely comfortable.
I mean it. I have sensory issues- other binders ive had have been way too itchy and uncomfortable for me to wear regularly. Id always have issues with the tags- even after i cut them out, it always bothers me.
Shapeshifters have been WAY better. I dont know if it's the materials, the construction, or what but they are wonderful to wear. Ive had the occasional issue with the tag, but its small and pretty ignorable. Plus, I'm about 90% sure you could ask them to just not add it to avoid it entirely. Ive had no issues with scratchiness. Their mesh is breathable, not itchy, and stretchy :D half the time i can completely forget that im even wearing a binder, which says a LOT.
Fit & Bind-
Shapeshifters. Amazing once again. Theyre custom sized to your measurements, which avoids unnecessary tightness in the ribs, gaping at the top, or inconsistent/nonexistent binding. Im a 38DD-40DDD depending on brand, and literally no other binders have had anywhere near this level of bind. Obviously it doesnt get completely flat- but it gets as close as possible. Id say its about the same prominence as laying on your back with no bra- maybe a bit bigger. That being said, thats a HUGE improvement from every other brand ive tried.
Plus, if you have issues with things digging in anywhere or not fitting how you want, they do free alterations. WHICH IS INSANELY HELPFUL BY THE WAY.
Variety-
They have many different patterns and styles and types of binders. It's a lot of different options- undergarments to normal tops, gothic to pastel to flat colors. If youre somewhere hot they have purely mesh binders for extra ventilation, etc.
Plus, if you want a specific pattern you can custom order your own fabric design! Im doing this for my new one and am very excited. (Its the same pattern i have as my banner :>
Customer Service-
Actually wonderful. Eli has been the one talking with me on both of my binders, so i think theyre the main (English) customer service worker! Theyre wonderful and very helpful- straight to the point, speedy, and patient.
I had no clue I needed to upload my pattern to spoonflower and proof it, and they helped me with that even though I could've just. Read the product description 😭
Lots of love to Eli. Also Im so sorry im stupid???? Youre wonderful.
Ease of use-
Im disabled- big shoulder issues. If i angle it the wrong way it dislocates. Bit uncomfy. That being said, most binders are literally painful for me to put on. Especially to take off. It hurts and is a whole mess. However. Shapeshifter's stretchier fabrics make it easier to take on and off. Putting it on is usually completely fine. Taking it off can be an issue. But its way easier than other brands thankfully.
HOWEVER. shapeshifters offers zippers to be built in. Which seems bad because of uneven pressure, but they have stiff inserts in all zipper binders to evenly distribute the bind. When I ordered my 1st binder, i for some reason got the zipper on the side of my bad shoulder?? I usually only use the zipper to take it off, so its fine, but zipping it on is a nightmare. But thats on me because i ordered it stupidly. That being said, zipping it off is actually amazing. If theres any discomfort from the binder, I can just zip it down for a bit. Or i can fully take it off so much easier. 2nd binder from them, i havent ordered the zipper because its not that difficult for me personally to take it off without, but i would recommend it if you need that extra ease!
Durability-
An old binder had tearing stitching after 2 months of semi-regular wear. Bad. My shapeshifter binder ive been wearing up to 5 days a week for up to 8 hours a day. The only signs of wear it has is some deodorant stains. Need I say more. It also hasnt stretched at all- it has the same bind and comfort and fit as it did the day I got it.
CAN YOU SEE WHY I LOVE THESE.
CONS NOW!!
Time
They do take a while to be made and arrive. Because theyre custom made by a small team, it takes a couple months to get one. I ordered one in July and got it in August, for example. I personally do not care about this one because it is such a high quality binder.
Price
Once again, small team making high quality custom products. It gets pricey. My first one was $116 including shipping, taxes, etc. Its important to note that i got a zipper (+$20) and a lot of customization options not everyone will need or want! Once again, i think its worth it as it will probably last me a WHILE. Also they gotta pay their team fairly. WE LOVE PAYING PEOPLE LIVABLE WAGES!
Overall, I do reccomend. In fact I've gotten a friend to get themselves one aswell lmao
Theyre actually an amazing team and i wish them lots of love, appreciation, and success!! Cant wait to get my new binder >:D
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muma-kitty · 1 year
Text
i was tagged by @illusionaryneil to list 8 shows to get to know me better so here they are:
1. Powerpuff Girls- this show was my entire personality as a child and i count it as my first special interest. buttercup was my idol and i wanted to be just like her. and yes, i am very disappointed in the remake and am adamant the original is vastly superior.
2. Ed, Edd, n Eddy- not as influential as the first show on this list but definitely an important part of my childhood. being the lonely kid i was i fantasized about having a ragtag group of friends to cause mischief with, especially regarding the construction of weirdly complex stuff like the eds were known for. i also think the kanker sisters were the coolest, especially marie. also, is it just me or did everyone i know think that double d was a girl at first?
3. Death Note- jumping ahead to my middle school years we have this absolute classic, and the beginning of my interest in anime, basically required reading/watching for any fan of japanese media. i have fond memories of spending weekends with the friend who introduced me to this show and staying up until 4 am watching adult swim for this to come on. now i know i probably should not have been watching adult swim in the 6th grade but you know, kids hit 13 and think theyre grown. also this is nowhere near the worst thing you could show to a young teen.
4. Code Geass- this is the other defining show of my middle school years, and this one stuck with me for far longer. also something i really shouldnt have been watching at that age, and i really didnt even understand the political themes of the plot, i just wanted to watch the main character blow shit up. watching it again as an adult is a much different experience and i have developed more of an appreciation for it over time.
5. Hetalia- now i know what youre thinking: "oh god a hetalia fan *blockblockblockblockblock-*" listen, im not going to defend this series and im sure as hell not going to defend its fandom. i dont associate myself with those fascist-fetishizing yaoi-addicted freaks but this show was still a big part of my high school years and long story short i may have never created the fursona i have today without it. (no i am not joking)
6. Villainous- this is a brand new very recent show that is far from being finished but definitely ticks off a lot of my interests so im definitely excited for the day it finally comes out dubbed in english. makes my inner edgy teenager happy. definitely want to go out and wreck shit with demencia.
7. Invader Zim- now i know im a bit late to the party on this one but unlike most people my age i didnt watch a lot of nickelodeon growing up and in my adulthood i decided to revisit the things i slept on while they were popular. its true what they say, queer and neurodivergent culture really is just spending your 20s being the teenager you always wanted to be. and i wanted to be a scene kid.
8. Making Fiends- much like the above, i didnt really watch this until recently. unlike the above, its a tragically short series that never aired more than a handful of episodes before getting canned. even worse, the creator cant do anything else with it bc nickelodeon still holds the rights, even though they never do anything with it besides air reruns every october. thankfully the whole series can be easily found on youtube, including the original webisodes. also, if i had a nickel for every angry little green girl i found relatable id have 2 nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened twice.
Bonus: Dan vs.- another tragically short show. its great. just go watch it.
im passing this on to @hangatyr and @thechthonicmother and whoever else is interested. idk who else i know who hasnt been tagged already.
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headcanons-n-shit · 3 years
Note
Can we have NSFW headcannons of sidurgu, aymeric and haurchefant +bonus character zenos please :3.
Im gonna throw in Urianger here too so we have the full set >:3c
Urianger
Now this is a man who understands the benefits of a good experiment. He's helped you try out every kink you can think of and then some you never could have imagined. Ropes, potions, toys-- its a good thing no one's ever thought to root through his room because theyd be absolutely scandalized.
Surprisingly possessive, but not in the way you’d maybe expect. He likes it when people look at you. He even likes it when they come up and flirt with you, when you flirt back even. Because he knows, at the end of the day, he has you on his leash, however long. It makes him inordinately pleased to know that no matter what offer is on the table, you’ll always come back to him. Some days he even indulges in the thought that he’s spoiled you, so much that no one else can compare, and he resolves to do even better.
Main kinks: wax play, exhibitionism, might be easier to list what he ISN’T into tbh.
Aymeric
An extremely deliberate man with extremely deliberate plans. He has a normal if a bit high sex drive, but you can always tell when he wants to seek you out to... deal with it, instead of just jerking it out and moving on. He’ll always set aside the whole evening for you, to wine and dine and charm you into his bed, no matter how long you’ve been doing this. 
His favorite activities are unsurprisingly ones that take a bit of time and effort. Rope play-- he likes to have you completely immobilized, the deep blue silk is quite fetching against your skin. Edging until you’re messy and desperate and begging. He especially likes the combination of the two, trussing you up and pushing you to the edge, then sitting you on his lap and making you work for your pleasure.
Main kinks: rope play, edging, d/s.
Haurchefant
You feel his eyes on you every time you run around Camp Dragonhead, all the time. Just watching. You know that if you want him, you’ve gotta go to him. You’ve gotta ask. And he knows that you’ll come to him every time, fold yourself down on your knees on that plush cushion he keeps for you in front of the fire, and you’ll ask.
A very deliberate man. Every touch, every word, is perfectly calculated to take you apart underneath him. He enjoys it most when you put up a little bit of a fight for him, ruin his perfect facade and his perfect game, just for a little bit. Getting you under control, finally getting you out of your own head, is deeply pleasing for the both of you. Not terribly fond of toys, though-- a collar and a leash, maybe, if he is feeling particularly indulgent, but otherwise he’s sure his hands and mouth and cock will be more than enough and he’s right.
Main kinks: pet play, brat taming, praise kink.
Sidurgu
Being coparents, its understandably a little difficult for the two of you to get some alone time for a little hankie pankie. Thankfully you have good friends who would be more than happy to dote on rielle and myste for an evening.
He prefers that this be soft. Let this be the one place the two of you shed no blood and do no hurt. Tell him what to do, tell him what feels good, but also let him explore, let him figure out what you hadn’t even thought would feel good. Just talk to him, really. He likes to hear your voice, and he especially likes to hear your voice when it rides that dark edge, you and Fray bleeding together with your love for him. 
main kinks: voice kink, mutual masturbation.
BONUS
Zenos
Someone Please Top This Man
This is not a joke. He’s one of those people who feels the need to be absolutely and totally in control in his day to day life, who’s had that expectation pressed on him from every side. He wants to lose control for a little while, but there is no one who he’d place his trust in. No one but you-- you’ve made him bleed, you’ve made his blood burn and his heart race. No one else can bring him to his knees. No one else is worthy.
Being Crown Prince, he’s no doubt had a lot of offers, with the expectation that he take none of them, so he’s not terribly experienced. Prepare to teach him a lot, including boundaries and safewords. He might be prideful and stubborn, but he will (eventually) thank you for it when you inevitably stumble across something he doesn’t like at all.
Main kinks: d/s, primal play, knife/blood play.
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Note
that vampire react was OUCHIE! would you consider continuing it? sole finally giving in and taking their blood. thankfully sole was able to hold back and didnt drain them, but now they have to treat and take care of their friend until their all better?
My goldfish brain wasn't sure if you meant sole comforting thr companions, or the companions comforting sole so I did both. We've had the hurt here comes the comfort
For those who didn't read part 1 here it is.
Maccready
"I'm so glad your okay. I don't know what I'd do without you... you and Duncan are my whole world"
They'd be rocking him back and forth in their arms while playing with his hair. He felt like shit, but that didn't matter they were okay so he'd be fine. And if he wasn't he knew it would all be fine in the end. In the upcoming days sole insisted on him laying in bed all day. Which suited him absolutely fine. He'd take this time to snuggle with them and Duncan and read comics all day long... he could get used to lazy days like these
Hancock
"That's it sole. Glad you finally came to your senses.... Im not sure what I would've done if you hadn't...."
The last sentence was barely a whisper on his scared lips... He knew what he would've done with out them, that's what scared him. He makes a lot of jokes about going feral, or being a monster, but he fears what would've happened if he spiraled into that darkness. Although truth be told he only ever truly was a monster to himself, but cognitive thoughts and logic rarely make there way into the deep fears that inhabitant our inner psyche. In the following days he and sole would spend most of their time in goodneighbor remedying the pain the only way Hancock knew how, loads of chems and booze. The few hours he spent sober he relayed the events over and over in his brain... He would never let sole know how much it all had really messed him up, but he'd be damned if he ever left the house without a blood pack again. He'd lost himself before sure, plenty of times, but the thing about losing yourself is you can always find or create a new version of yourself... what almost happened with sole was.... too permanent and it would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his freakishly long life, but for now he'd take comfort in the fact the the one person he loved so dearly was still by his side... thats all that mattered.. all that ever matters
Cait
"I'm glad you decided not to be a complete idiot. Never, and I mean never, do that to me again ya hear?"
She was so grateful that this fool was still alive and kicking. She felt like shite and her head was pounding, but she'd make it and most importantly they'd make it. She'd never leave home with a blood pack again... Afterwards Sole would insist on her staying in bed, which Cait though was pretty fuckin stupid in all honesty, but she'd listen. Only for like the first two days though, because honesty she's had worse and she'd rather put this whole thing behind them.
Danse
"I honestly didn't think that would work...."
He's suprised he's still alive... He's not disappointed, just confused. If he could've lived through the whole ordeal why were they even arguing in the first place? During his recovery he wouldn't want sole to leave his sights, he'd be especially clingy and needy after almost losing them.
Curie
I am... so glad you are okay...."
She'd find it hard to speak from the intense pain that was clouding her mind, but her words were still the most genuine that shed ever spoken. She wasn't used to even scrapes which made her pain tolerance low, but this? It was all a bit to much, but she'd happily do it again. She'd be very thorough in telling sole how to take care of her in the following weeks/days. She would opt to stay in the diamond City clinic or at least at home plate should anything go wrong. Truth be told she was just glad to still have sole. The whole ordeal still had her a bit shaken, but given enough time she'd overcome the left over fear.
Deacon
"Do I get a little sticker?... they give you those after donating blood right?"
Despite him cracking jokes his mindset is still very grim. He can't believe he almost lost the only friend he's ever had and more importantly he only narrowly avoided it. He needed to do better in the future to make sure that sole had been taking care of themselves. In the following days he'd stay mostly quiet opting to read books, and have long philosophical conversations with sole to fill the time of his mandatory time off.
Piper
"Thank god blue.... You had me really worried there for a second.... woah my head... I think I'm just gonna sit down for a sec...."
She'd pass out. Unfortunately for her she's a bit woozy around blood... especially her own. She'd wake up in her diamond city home. Sole had brought her fancy lad cakes and nuka cola both of which were sitting on the nightstand next to her. She'd carefully climb out of bed wincing in pain as she took her first step out of the small room. Her whole body ached, but she was to worried about sole to focus on that right now. She was so glad when she finally saw sole asleep on her couch. She'd crawl onto the couch careful not to wake them. Shed gently wrap her arms around their torso and cuddle into their side... at least this way she might actually get some sleep and stop worrying.
Nick
"Well would you look at us.... guess we get to cheat death for a little while longer...."
it's times like these that he cursed the institute for making him able to feel pain. Physical and mental that is. Nick wouldn't say he wanted to die, because of course there's always more for him to do, but the idea of dying for a friend did sound like a pretty nobel way for things to end.... but it didn't and he'd be damned if he wasted the chances life keeps throwing at him. Nick believes wholeheartedly in fate and if he's still alive and kicking there's a reason. He'd brush off Soles requests for him to stay quiet much to their dismay though after taking a fee wobbly steps out the door he decided maybe sitting and looking over old case files wasn't the worst idea...
Preston
"Thank god your okay General.... not sure what the minutemen... hell I'm not sure what I'd do without you"
He'd let them lead him back to the nearest settlement and for once the Neverending work load wouldn't come first, because right now was about sole. They were alive and they were here and for a while even that wasn't certain so Prestin would be damned if he didn't tell them everything he had ever felt about them. Wheather it be romantic interest, platonic admiration or perhaps a bit of both he'd lay his feelings out plain and clear because no way was he letting anything happen to either of them without making his thoughts known.
X6-88
"Thank you for finally seeing reason. I'm a machine. You are of value, I am not."
He would be seriously shocked when he felt arms wrap around his neck and a head hit his shoulder. He'd stay like that for a few moments to stunned to move. That is until he felt the wet of tears hitting his clothed shoulder and the sound of quiet sobs hitting his ears
"You are not just a machine.... not to me"
Their shaky voice spoke muffled slightly by his shoulder, but still loud enough for him to hear. He didn't know what to say to that, so instead he opted to wrap his arms around their back awkwardly... He was a machine, but damn if he didn't feel true emotions in that moment
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mikeyinnit · 3 years
Note
hii!! im on my alt so don’t mind the user. i’m ftm (he/it/xe) and fortunately have the worst cramps rn. and feel so weir. ( if this makes you uncomfortable feel free to ignore ofc) maybe some fluff (about anything) with wilbur or p!bench trio? :D also hi i love your page!!
Hi!! I delivered with fluff with both because I totally get it. And thank you so much!
Pairing: Wilbur x M!Reader, P!Bench Trio x M!Reader
Summary: When you feel like hell, your favorite boys are there to help you through it
Word Count: 0.6k words
Notes: I'm very sorry if the dialogue seems weird I'll be honest I wrote almost this entire story without dialogue cause i forgot and tried my best to organically weave a little in.
Tagging: N/A
Sometimes, you were really lucky to have Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo in your life. They were your rock on numerous occasions, like today. You felt like hell had decided to move residences into your body and while you were ready to just curl up and die silently by yourself, they didn’t seem to agree since as soon as you said you weren’t feeling up to going out to see them today you heard a knock at your door and were being greeted by four boys.
“Y/N,” Tommy whined out, “let us in.”
And you did, clearly, they wanted to bring the fun to you.
Wilbur was the best boyfriend you could ever ask for; it really didn’t surprise you that he came by. Whenever you weren’t feeling well, whether you were sick or just in pain, he usually showed up. The other three were a little more surprising because you were sure they would rather be off doing something chaotic, but it was really nice to have all of them here. Even though they were all vastly different in how they help make you feel better.
Ranboo was the most normal. Occasionally he would make a joke about you dying but for the most part he was acting like it was a normal day. Actually, making jokes about death was a normal day. Which was honestly needed compared to how the rest of your company acted when you weren’t feeling well.
Tubbo was good at comforting. When he was on his own. Tommy and Ranboo being added to the mix meant he was a little more amped up than normal. He tried to still comfort you, he did, he checked in with you throughout the night and asked if you needed anything, but you would also hear noises from another room in the house and you were sure that when you checked tomorrow, you would find something broken and a bad attempt at repairing it.
“I swear that I’ll fix it, I’m so sorry Y/N.”
“It’s okay, Tubbo, just...be careful next time?”
Tommy was...well, Tommy. Loud and obnoxious. If you had a headache, it would have put you through more hell than you were already in, but thankfully you didn’t. He would try doing things for you, but it would keep going wrong somehow, food for you would burn or he’d take your blanket from you because he was cold. “But, Y/N, I’m the guest and I’m cold.” It was slightly annoying but, as is part of Tommy’s charm, it was endearing.
Wilbur was the complete opposite. He was so worried about you, and it showed in everything he did. Unlike Tommy, things typically went right when Wilbur tried it. Though, it was a tad overbearing. The minute he stepped foot in your home, you no longer needed to lift a finger. Hungry? He’ll cook something for you. Cold? He would say a quick and stern, “Tommy give that blanket back to him you fucking raccoon.” It was nice to get a heating pad quickly or have someone try to reign in Tommy and Tubbo but it was slightly annoying.
Still, you appreciated them all. Even though the pain didn’t necessarily go away, they were a nice distraction.
The best part of the night was at the end, everyone was getting sleepy, so Tommy had finally calmed down a tad and the four of you were on your couch. Well, you and Wilbur were on your couch, the three boys had decided to sprawl out on the floor in front of your couch, blankets and pillows everywhere the eye could see. You put on a movie and cuddled up with your boyfriend, your head on his shoulder, as the three younger ones slowly fell asleep.
“Thank you,” you started, having to pause when a yawn escaped your lips, “for coming over. You didn’t have to.”
“Of course I did, the best boyfriend needs the best care.” He gave you a soft kiss on the top of your head as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep. Surrounded by your favorite people in the world.
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mrs-march-ahs · 3 years
Note
hii so I just cannot get this idea out of my head. so I know that jpm hates religion but the idea of a james march priest au! is so... im so desperate for anyone to write it😭
Forgive Me Daddy For I Have Sinned (James March Priest AU)
First, headcannons, and then very juicy smut, enjoy :)
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-His investing and money wouldn’t go smoothly enough for him to accomplish his dream of opening his own hotel -He had just finished his architecture degree and designed his perfect murder castle, but just didn’t have the money to have it built -The economy crashing during the Wall Street Crash (later in his life) affected his business deals and all of the money he put towards his coal and oil -Because his father was a religious man and worked in the church, it was pretty easy for James to become a priest -He made his father very proud, which he was actually not happy about -He didn’t like his father enough, the last thing he wanted was to make him proud -But it was the only place he could work -Working in the church was tiring to him, having to be around people who in his eyes, refused any pleasures and acted fake and untrue to themselves -He looooved to listen to peoples sins however during confessions -He would always ask as many questions as he could, wanting to hear the nitty gritty stuff -If somebody every confessed to murder, oh god -It would be the best day of his life -Listening to somebody describe the blood and gore would excite him -He would feel tingly listening to it, and despite being a priest and not having the proper means to murder safely (without his hotel), he would still try it -He would murder particularly sinful people -His justification was that after their death, they would be in their respectful place, either in Hell or with God -He was speeding up the process of them joining God, which is what they wanted anyway, so in his eyes he was doing them a favour -He would frame their murder as best as he could, as suicide -When the people of his church, a larger church in Boston or Exeter (NH), found out about the ‘suicide’, he would do a long speech about being kinder to people and loving thy neighbour -He would very slyly remind people that suicide is a sin -His father would come to every single mass to watch his son speak -His accent and formalness made people trust him and what he said
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When you first came to church, it was during the 1920s, hoping to confess something that had been bothering you. After taking a few minutes collecting your thoughts, you kneeled in the confessional and looked at the cross. Assuming you need to speak first, you looked at the cross and spoke with faux confidence.
“It is a venial sin, but it still haunts me”. You weren’t sure how to start, never having done this before, but wanting to do it right. You looked up some of the terminology beforehand, and learned that what you had done wasn’t a grave matter, but a venial sin. Minor, per say.
“This is a safe space, you can share anything with me”. Priest James said this as convincingly as he could, before looking at his watch. As you were about to begin, James corrected you.
“This must be your first time, child, for that is not how we begin confessions”
You look around the confessional nervously, trying to remember anything from Sunday school. You looked at the cross and felt as though God was sitting on your shoulders, crushing you, and you nervously tried your best to do better.
“Forgive me, uh, Daddy… I was bad”
James looks down and holds back a smirk, playing with his robe.
“Close enough, darling, confess to me”
“I sinned, but I don’t feel guilty, and I think I should, in fact… I feel great”
The second James heard that you came in with a sin that involved no blood or death, he was bored. But hearing the way you talked around it without saying anything up front made him excited.
“What did you?”, he says completely intrigued.
“It’s not what I did, it’s what I do, a-a lot”
“I can only help you if you describe it to me”
You nod and put your hands on your thighs, trying to remain calm, knowing there should be no judgement here.
“I touched myself… and not just did, I d-do”
James took a deep breath listening to you, having never heard a confession this juicy, your confession was currently in tied place for excitement with graphic murder.
“Describe it to me”, he whispers.
“It’s always at night, I lay in bed”, you begin, trying to be clear, assuming that describing your sin takes the weight off your shoulders. “I get naked, fully, and touch my body”
Where the blood in a normal Priest may go to the cheeks, all the blood in James body rushed to his crotch, not at all fighting the urge to be aroused.
“Where?”
“My chest… and then my thighs, between them”, you pause. “Even inside”, you whisper.
“My child”. James no longer holds back anything. His smirk plasters his face proudly and the confident in his words are key for you to feel like you’re in safe hands. “You were bad indeed”. James mocks your words, thriving on your innocence.
“Do you wish to be cleansed?”. Although you assumed the correct answer, you chose to answer honestly.
“I’m not sure”
James furrows his eyebrows, baffled by your reasoning to confess.
“You are not sure?”
“I know I did bad but, if it’s so bad”. You can’t bare to make out the words, knowing you will be judged. James thankfully helps you out.
“Why does it feel good?”. You knew he couldn’t see you, but you nod nevertheless, glad that he understood.
“Does it, feel good?”, he asks.
“Yes”, you answer without missing a beat. “Oh yes”
“How good?”
“Incredible, ecstatic”
“Does the feeling you bring yourself, feel better than being clean in the eyes of God?”
This is exactly what James wanted to see. People being true to themselves, being dependent on themselves to full fill their own needs, not on a mystical being. He was instantly attracted to you, your voice, the previous hesitation in your voice and the confidence with which you spoke now.
“Honestly?”
“Of course”
“I think so”
Hearing those words come out of your mouth made James feel alive, feel as though he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed giving into his urges, homicidal and sexual. It was as though he found another human being who enjoyed the pleasure in living.
“You are somebody who is willing to do bad, to do good”
With that sentence, an idea came into James’ mind, making him sit up straight.
“I know a way to heal you, to repent your sins”
You smile widely, getting more out of this visit than you expected to get.
“Come round to this side, darling”
You were utterly confused, but trusted in Priest James’ good intentions and knowledge. Not thinking too much, you crawled off the pillow you were kneeled on and shuffled over to your priest. Looking up at him made you blush. Your cheeks reddened at how handsome he was before you, and at the compromising position you were in. But when you put your hands on his thighs to stand up, he put his larger hands over yours and leaned in closer to you.
“Nonsense, darling. In order to cleanse your sins, you must remain on your knees”
━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━
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mindofharry · 3 years
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In which it’s your husbands birthday and you have the perfect gift.
SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR CHRIS! IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS TO READ THIS!!!! I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS SMALL BLURB. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHRIS, MY BELOVED! REBLOG, FEEDBACK IS WELCOME AS ALWAYS!!! HAPPY READING :D
mentions of ivf! other than that, a whole lot of fluff!! <3
You found out were pregnant a few days ago. It was unexpected, but you were thrilled. You cried and cried on the bathroom floor, taking test after test with your sister leaning against the door her eyes widening in shock every time the test came back positive. It was no shock that you and chris wanted kids. Even more meeting each other you both knew kids were for you, from a very young age you knew you wanted to be a mom. You would play the mom in every game, your siblings can vouch that you were like a second mother to them - very bossy, but they loved you for that. Chris was the exact same, and he was so unbelievably good with kids. At the family gatherings kids would just surround him, wanting to play with him and get carried everywhere he went. This role was just made for the both of you.
While you sat on the bathroom floor, looking at these tests you became so overwhelmed. You and chris hadn’t been trying, you tried very early on in your marriage and nothing seemed to happen. You really thought something was wrong with you. You tried ivf, all of those treatments, hacks you found on the internet. Nothing seemed to happen. Chris was the most supportive and kind person through it all, and he never once blamed you for this even though you very much blamed yourself. But you both got through it and decided you’d try again soon or maybe adopt in the future. You both wanted kids so badly, but maybe the time just wasn’t right.
You had found out were pregnant a week before chris’ birthday. You wanted him to know so bad, to be here with you. But he was on a trip for some work and you didn’t want to tell him this over a phone call - and hey, you hadn’t gotten him a main present yet. So this will have to do! You just know chris will be over the moon. As of right now, you, your sister and the doctor you visited after taking the test are the only people that know of your pregnancy. Of course you wanted chris to be there with you for the first ultrasound, but you were just so shocked that you needed a professional to confirm the tests.
You and your sister are definitely the worst people at keeping secrets. It was what you guys were known for in the family. You were both bursting at the seems to tell everyone and anything the news. Your sister agreed with you on keeping this a secret until chris’ birthday, she knew he would be even more surprised. And it would be so much better if you did it in person. He gets home late on the saturday, so it’s the perfect time to do it.
You had it all sorted out.
You wake up early, prepare pancakes and some coffee for chris to eat in bed. A little cuddle and kiss, before you’d sneak off to the closet to grab all of his presents. You had bought him clothes, a new watch, some of his favourite candy and a a romantic night away in a fancy hotel next month. In a small, white bag would be the positive pregnancy test and a baby grow with the words ‘Can’t wait to meet you daddy!’ plastered on the front.
The next couple of days were tough to say the least. You were throwing up non stop, and you were in bed sleeping all day for most of the week. You had told chris, that you looked after your mom when she got a stomach bug and must of passed it on to you so you were just taking it easy. He seemed to believe it and you were able to convince him to stay on his trip.
You can’t wait to see him.
You missed his kisses and cuddles a lot. That’s basically what got you through the week, knowing the chris would be home and ready to kiss and cuddle you on sunday.
By saturday, you were feeling a little better. The morning sickness was still there, but you weren’t getting sick every two seconds so that was a plus. You prayed that this wouldn’t stick, you hate getting sick.
“Baby?” Chris whispered as he walked into the bedroom. You were fast asleep panned out on the bed, your book on your stomach and glasses still over your eyes. Chris laughed to himself, taking your glasses and book away and on to your bedside table. You looked beautiful, even asleep. He hated being away from you for so long, but it was the best feeling in the world to finally snuggle with each other again. Chris was definitely a sucker for cuddles. Even when you two were still get to know each other, you knew he was a cuddler and very handsy. He just loves being around you, and mostly on top of you - he means that in more ways than one.
His birthday is always so special with you. When you were dating he didn’t really expect much, just a cake and a few gifts. But you always went all out and so did your family. He was forever grateful for you and the new family you brought with you.
Chris tucked you into the bed, kissed the side of your head and got ready for bed himself. He brushed his teeth, then stripped down and hopped into bed. You immediately rolled over and cuddled yourself into him, chris sighed in content as you buried your head into his neck. He missed you so much and he was so fucking glad to be home.
You woke up bright and early, all on your own surprisingly. You looked over and saw chris laying on his stomach sprawled out on the bed. You giggled to yourself before kissing his shoulder and getting out of bed quietly and slowly.
Making the food was probably the hardest thing to do. The scents and the fridge smell was making you want to puke and never eat anything ever again. Thankfully, you got through it not getting sick once. When you went upstairs with the food, chris was still fast asleep. You think he was messing because he jumped up about 20 seconds after you entered the room. You smiled, amused at the little performance but quickly moved over to sit on the side of the bed and give chris his food.
“Honey….” He trailed off taking a bite of the pancake. You pecked his cheek, a blush forming on his cheek. “Amazing” He said gulping down his orange juice.
“I love you, happy birthday” You said grabbing the gifts from the closet. Chris shook his head sighing.
“You got me so many things. You know i don’t need all of these” He said and you pouted kissing his lips. “No, but you deserve them” You said and chris smiled opening up his presents.
Then came the last present. Your heart was beating so quickly and you’re sure chris could hear it. You were so nervous, but so excited for his reaction. Would he cry? Laugh? just smile? So many thought ran through your mind. You’ve both wanted this for so long and now it’s finally here, you just don’t know how he’ll react and it’s making you beyond nervous. You think you might actually get sick now.
Chris puts his hand in the bag taking out the baby grow first.
“Babe, dodger will not fit in this” Chris said and you laughed turning the baby grow around and then taking out the pregnancy test. Chris looked at the writing on the baby grow and then to the positive pregnancy test. He looked up at you, tears in his eyes and he immediately placed his lips on yours. You were surprised, but kissed back immediately.
He pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours sniffling a little. You placed your hands on his cheeks.
“You’re pregnant?” He asked and you nodded.
“10 weeks. I’ve known all week, wanted to surprise you” You replied and chris shook his head looking down at the baby grow.
“I love you” He said and you grinned.
“I love you, too. Baby loves you so much already” You said placing a hand on your stomach. Chris bit back a sob putting his hand on yours.
“We’re going to be parents, baby. What the fuck” He said and you laughed sitting down on his lap.
“Yeah, but we’re gonna be pretty fucking cool parents”
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sleepy-dreamers-inc · 4 years
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Dadza with GN! Reader who has sleeping issues|| ♥️
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irl / in-game
Genre| fluff
d r a b b l e||
Sypnosis|
Y/N has always had trouble sleeping, but after moving in with (they’re once internet dad) adoptive dad, Philza, the sleep schedule only gets worse. Thankfully, Dadza is here to help!
Artist| VMelodyta on twitter!
warnings: fluff. Pure cuteness.
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The moon shone bright, as stars glimmered in the sky. The neighborhood sat quiet, the only sound that could be heard were the faint sounds of wind chimes swaying and and leaves carried by the wind.
Y/N laid awake, though. Everyone else in the area were fast asleep, snuggled up beaneath warm blankets and fluffy pillows.
Y/N always had issues with sleeping, it was normal for them to stay up late into the night doing whatever, playing games, watching videos, anything to keep them entertained really. Although lately is was a little worse. Y/N knew why, but didn’t want to say, afraid it would hurt they’re new family.
Y/N sighed, flipping the covers off they’re body and standing up, they stretched they’re limbs and slowly shuffled they’re way past their parents door and into the kitchen. Y/N rummaged around in the kitchen, finding a glass cup and pooring themselves a glass of milk.
“Hopefully this’ll help me sleep.” Y/N muttered, taking a sip while leaning on the bar.
“Hey Kiddo, what are you doing up so late?” Phil said, turning on the kitchen light was yawning, he simply made his way to his kid and propped himself against another counter, so that he was facing Y/N. They simply stared, not knowing what to say. All Y/N did was put their glass on the counter and low they’re head, rubbing they’re hand on they’re arm, refusing to make eye contact.
“Kiddo...?” Phil mumbled, shifting over to his kid, they simply jumped and looked at him with tearful and tired eyes. “Oh my god Y/N are you okay? Why are you crying?” The man asked frantically, putting his hands on Y/N’s shoulders at they stared at him, Y/N simply sighed while looking down.
“I just.... i cant sleep, Dadza. I’ve had this issue my whole life and it- it brings me so much pain, im never rested, im tired all the time, and the new environment doesn’t help either, its not your fault tho-“ Y/N got cut off when Phil simply hugged them, his head on theirs as he rocked both of they’re bodies back and forth. He rubbed Y/N’s head, while saying quiet “shhhhhh’s” to calm Y/N down.
Y/N hugged they’re dad back, pressing they’re face into his chest, trying so desperately not to cry. Phil moved his head and looked down, before smiling fondly. “C’mon kiddo.” Phil said, walking away but grabbing Y/N’s hand, he walked his way over to their couch, Y/N simply following not far behind. Phil plopped down onto the couch, looking up at his confused kid. All he did was pat his chest, but Y/N got the signal.
Hesitantly, Y/N climbed on and laid on they’re dad, head on his chest as they simply enjoyed the warmth they’re dad produced. He ruffled they’re hair a bit, smiling, then laying his head against the sofa’s arm rest.
“Oh, kiddo, by the way,” Phil said, looking back down to see Y/N shift they’re head and look up at him. Phil simply smiled, he couldn’t help but find his kid adorable, who wouldn’t?
“Just call me dad.” Phil smiled, moving some hair out of Y/N’s face as they smiled and simply nodded, they laid they’re head back down and Phil did the same.
Silently, the two slowly drifted off to sleep, basking in eachothers company. The morning sun would come soon, but that was simply a problem for later.
BONUS:
Kristin yawned, sitting up while stretching. She looked around her ahared bedroom, seeing Phil no where. She simply questioned where he was before shuffling out of her room and into the living room, only to see 2 figures happily asleep on the couch, Phil’s hand resting on Y/N’s head as Y/N snored slightly, they’re head on Phil’s chest as they (both) we’re sound asleep.
Kristin ‘awwed’, taking out her phone and quietly snapping a photo, as much as she wanted to keep it to herself,
What would Twitter think?
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a/n: hello its been awhile!!! Sorry for being so inactive these past couple days, my internet has been down and tumblr has been bugging out and deleting my drafts, it happened in this one actually :(
I would’ve made this longer and better, but i have lots of requests and I didn’t want the whole thing to get deleted again. But, i hope i did this one justice even if its kinda short and bad.
But, i hope you all have a lovely day and make sure to use your twitch primes on Wilbur Soot :)
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wonwoonlight · 3 years
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📣: boyfriend!jeonghan // slice of life // fluff // 1001 words
A/N: one more upload today bc why not 😎 it’s almost midnight here now but wherever u r, if you’re having a long day, i hope this jeonghan will be able to help you a little ^^ thanks for the request, anon!
 find the rest of requested drabble here
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[17:23] Jeonghan: i think im getting off early today
[17:23] Jeonghan: in like 30 mins?
[17:24] Jeonghan: should i pick u up?
[17:31] You: yes plssssss D:
[17:47] Jeonghan: see u bby c:
You sigh from your table, stretching a little after a long day. One report down, another to go.
“Oh, you’re still here?” Seungkwan greets you, having just gone back from a meeting. There’s a big event coming up later this month and it’s been much too busy in the office. You’re pretty sure almost everyone’s working overtime.
You nod sadly, glancing at the clock on your computer. If your calculation is correct and Jeonghan is on time, he should be here in 10 more minutes or so. “Why can’t these reports finish themselves, really?”
“That would be the dream, wouldn’t it?” Seungkwan laughs, cracking his fingers. “Have you even got time to spend with your boyfriend?”
“No,” you pout, your fingers busy typing in data so you have an early start tomorrow. “He’s been busy with work, too. His office is merging or something.”
“No wonder you’ve been extra lethargic these days,” your friend says, feeling bad for you. You’re fairly new to the team, having only worked there for 4 or 5 months at most. Seungkwan remembers the first time he managed his first big event; it must’ve been stressful for you if not more.
You only give him a shrug, it’s true that these days have felt more tiring—most likely because you haven’t even had time to spend with Jeonghan or yourself. It’s fun job, thankfully, but you really wish you could’ve taken a break and just lay around all day in your bed with your boyfriend.
“You’re not leaving?” Minghao asks from the door as he notices you’re still in your cubicle. “I saw your boyfriend in the lobby.”
“Oh?” you turn to him quickly, checking your phone to see the notification from Jeonghan’s text is marked from just a few minutes ago. You quickly finish up, turning off your computer and gathering your stuffs together. Before you even realize, you’re already waving to the few workers still left in the office.
At times like this, you’re glad your office building is rather small, because it means you can just go down one floor and you’re already at the lobby.
“Hi, Han!” you call him, seeing Jeonghan sitting down by himself in the small sitting area. He looks up to you, a grin already on his face at the sight of you. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Missed you too, baby.” Jeonghan stands up to receive your hug, holding you there just for a few seconds before letting go. “Let’s go home?”
You nod, saying bye to the security guard near the door as you walk out with Jeonghan. The sky is already dark now, but Jeonghan’s presence beside you is enough to make you feel better.
“How’s work?” he asks, swinging your hand in his back and forth. “Or should we talk about something else?”
“The latter,” you say quickly, not wanting to discuss works. “How’s Shua?”
“Still nagging me to fold my clothes,” he grins, amused at the thought of his roommate. “It’s not like he comes to my room, so I don’t know why he’s so adamant that I fold my clothes neatly.”
You laugh at that, letting go of his hand so you can hug his arm instead, leaning on his shoulder as you walk to the train station. “He probably would’ve folded them for you if he’s not too busy himself.”
“True, true,” he agrees. Funny how such a tiring day immediately feels better with you in his side. “You been eating well?”
You hum a little, remembering the rushed lunch and a lot of forgotten breakfasts. “Except for morning, yeah, it’s pretty okay.”
Jeonghan frowns at that, he knows how you can be when you’re stacked with works; eating becomes less important because you’re a slow eater and it’d be better to just skip meals altogether.
“I’m gonna tell Seungkwan to nag you to eat,” he replies. That’s the least that he can do, he thinks. Seungkwan is a good friend of you both, and Jeonghan knows the guy well enough to know he’s probably nagging you already.
You stop walking, whining at Jeonghan. “Nooooo. He’s nagging me enough already!”
Your boyfriend chuckles, his hand goes up to ruffle your hair before he pulls you to start walking again. “No good in working this hard if you’re gonna be sick later because you’re not taking care of yourself.”
“Okay, okay,” you tell him, knowing that Jeonghan means good. You do tend to skip meals, after all.
There’s a comfortable silence enveloping the both of you after that, just you and Jeonghan walking through the busy street full buzzing with people talking to each other. This is such mundane stuff, but your heart warms at the thought that you’re doing this with Jeonghan. How long has it been since you have the time to do mundane stuffs with Jeonghan?
The past few weeks are mostly filled with video calls when the day ends, some days you’re too tired to even call him. You’re glad you and Jeonghan have never been someone who gets mad over forgotten phone calls. You both are busy adults, after all.
“Hey,” he calls to you, spotting a tteokbokki stall on the street. “Should we get some before we go back?”
“Sure,” you nod, following Jeonghan’s steps. The both of you stand there, eating the rice cakes as you talk in between, telling each other funny episodes from work.
Jeonghan sniffs a little as the air around him gets colder, turning to you to see if you’re also cold. You seem fine, but he reaches out to wipe the sauce off the side of your lips. “You shooting a drama or something?”
He laughs at your words, wiping his thumb with a tissue. “What, you’re complaining?”
“Never when it comes to you.”
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agustdakasuga · 4 years
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A Place Called Home | Chapter 21
Genre: Hybrid!AU, Poly!AU?, Soulmate AU, romance, fluff, humour
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Characters: vet!reader, Arcticfox!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Goldenretriever!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Calicocat!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Rabbit!Jungkook
Summary: Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.
You push on, trying your best to remain strong to be there for your hybrids. All hope is lost and you’re just trying to live your remaining days. But the boss has one more plan up his sleeve to break you. 
Chapter warning(s): This might be a heavy chapter for some readers. Angry cursing, needle/drug abuse, violence, slight gore, killing, death, mentions of sexual assault. Please read at your own discretion!
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You would never admit it but deep down you knew, you were slowly giving up. Whatever small slither of hope you held onto was slowly slipping from your hands. Maybe it was better to die here then keep on dreaming of your release with your boys.
“Time to earn your keep, fox.”
“No, please. Not Jin!” You pressed yourself against the bars in whatever frugal attempt to stop Boss Im and his men from taking Jin away.
“Back away, Namjoon.” The man warned and Namjoon growled but made no move to step forward. He knew the hybrids would do his bidding just to keep you safe. Jin choked as he was tugged out of his cell by his collar.
“You should be there too! To experience his first fight.” You were grabbed next. You already knew the way to your viewing area.
The strong smell of iron and dirt was something you have grown accustomed to. How many hybrids have you watched Yoongi and Namjoon kill in that concrete ring? It was like you were numb to it. But you were on your toes when you knew it was Jin’s first time fighting. They were going to inject him and make him feral.
Your gentle boy, Jin.
“Everyone! We have a debut fight tonight! An arctic fox hybrid’s first fight!” The announcer stepped out and everyone jeered.
“I know! I know! Foxes don’t make an interesting fight! But we have him against our own snow leopard.” From the smirk on the announcer and Boss Im’s face, you knew what this was. They were deliberately trying to make Jin lose.
You should have known why Jin was having his first fight before Taehyung, even if Taehyung was the one with more ‘potential’.
“Why are you doing this? Jin can’t fight!” You struggled.
“Exactly. But let’s see what really makes him go crazy.” Boss Im smirked, waving his hand at the announcer to start the match. You gulped, half of you not even wanting to watch this fight unfold while the other half wanted you to continue watching to make sure Jin would be alright.
“Let’s fight!” The announcer ran out of the ring. Jin was thrown in, falling to the ground. He swayed slightly, the drugs taking effect in his system.
“This is going to be easy.” The snow leopard smiled and charged at Jin, knocking him down.
The crowd jeered while you cried silently. Jin was trying his best to fight the snow leopard off but he couldn’t. His opponent was just too strong. He only managed to get a few good punches and kicks at him.
“Jin!” You screamed until your throat went raw.
“Please. I’m begging you! Please! Don’t let him die!” You shook your head as you cried and kneeled to Boss Im. You had your pride and dignity but if seeing you submit was what you needed to do to save Jin, you will do it. Boss Im stood up, laughing.
“Unfortunately, I don’t sway with pleads and begs.” He chuckled.
“You’re heartless.”
“So I’ve been told.” He shrugged. Looking on, he already knew Jin had no chance against the snow leopard, who was well trained and a lot stronger.
“Fox! You better win that fight!” Boss Im shouted at Jin. Through his unbruised eye, Jin saw Boss Im take his gun out and press it against your temple with a mocking smile. Jin growled.
“You lose, your precious mate dies!” He threatened. Jin continued to growl, foam seeping from his teeth. With all his strength, he kicked the snow leopard off him, running at him and head-butting him. The snow leopard fell back with a groan but Jin didn’t falter and pounced on top of him. The hybrid on the ground swiped at Jin but Jin bit down into his arm.
The snow leopard yelped in pain as he gripped onto his bleeding arm. Blood leaked from the corner of Jin’s lips.
“I don’t lose.” The snow leopard charged at Jin again.
Jin jumped up and landed on the leopard’s back, making him fall forward. He placed his foot on the back of the leopard’s neck. If he wanted to, he could kill the leopard just like that. Half the crowd jeered at their loss while the other half cheered for Jin’s sudden upper hand.
“Separate them. The fox wins.” Boss Im told his men and they ran forward to take Jin away before he could stomp on the snow leopard’s neck.
“Once again, you’ve proven to be quite the asset, doctor.” Boss Im smirked, turning to look at you. With a wave of his hand, someone grasped your forearm to bring you back to your cell.
“W-Wait! Let me treat Jin, please! Your team won’t be able to handle his injuries.” You begged.
“Fine. Bring her to the medical suite.” Boss Im shooed you off. You were shoved forward, making you stumble. Jin’s face was badly beaten up but you could tell he was still conscious. You held his hand as his whole body shook, tears escaping his eyes.
“I’m... sorry.” He forced out.
“Don’t apologise. It’s okay, Jinnie. I’ve got you.” You hushed him and began to treat his injuries. Jin was so shaken by the whole experience.
“That’s enough.” You were wrenched away from Jin and both carried back to your cells. Before they could push you in, you walked in yourself, making them mutter a ‘b*tch’ under their breaths.
“Hyung!” All the hybrids were appalled at Jin’s state. Namjoon picked the elder up from where the henchman had tossed him in and laid him on the mattress.
“Hyung, can you hear me?” Namjoon leaned down.
“He’s traumatised, Joon.” You gulped.
“Jin didn’t want to fight. He was losing against his opponent and fighting the effects of the drug. The boss threatened to shoot me if Jin didn’t win. He manipulated Jin and forced him to fight, causing him to go feral. But thankfully, the other hybrid made it out alive. They were separated before anything could happen.” You explained.
“Poor hyung...” Jimin whimpered.
“Hyung, what will happen to me?” You heard Taehyung ask Yoongi behind you. It made you feel sick to think Taehyung would be like Jin. The cell gate opened again and you all turned your heads.
“What?” You frowned at the man.
“We’re not here for you.” They walked past you and grabbed Jimin and Hoseok. Jimin screeched, letting out hisses as a man leashed his collar. Hoseok growled warningly.
“Hey, what are you doing with them?!” You tried to stop the men but they easily flung you aside.
“Boss requested for them.” He smirked. Jimin whimpered and reached out for you but you were held away. Hoseok shouted and thrashed around. The other hybrids in their cells made a fuss.
“I swear, you hurt them and I will rip your heads off!” Namjoon growled.
“Let them go!” Yoongi shouted.
“One more thing, the boss said to let you know you’re fighting tomorrow.” The men pointed at Taehyung, who jumped and cowered behind Yoongi. Yoongi growled, flashing his canines at them, his black ears twitching. They laughed and just pulled the two hybrids with them.
“No, let them go! You’re hurting them!” You tried to grab Hoseok and Jimin.
“No!” You screamed and cried.
“Kitten, kitten.” Yoongi managed to grab your ankle and pull you to him. He and Taehyung held you, comforting you. Yoongi whispered sweet nothings into your ear while Taehyung stroked the back of your head.
“Chim... Hobi... This is all my fault.” You shook your head.
“No, it’s not, jagi.” Taehyung kissed your head.
“It is! Boss Im gave me an offer. I could leave with Jimin and Hoseok but I’ll have to leave all of you behind. I immediately declined, I’m not leaving any of you behind but now, this happened. If I just let them go, they wouldn’t be dragged out like that. Who knows what torture they are being put through.” You confessed and cried.
“Y-You were given a chance to leave? And bring Hoseok and Jimin with you?” Yoongi asked. You nodded your head.
“But I can’t leave knowing the 4 of you are still here.” You sobbed.
“Jagi...” Taehyung didn’t know what to say. Were they supposed to feel touched that you stayed for them? Or were you dumb for not taking the offer and rescuing yourself and two of them?
You didn’t know how long passed when the cell door opened again. You stood up from the mattress and rushed over to greet Jimin and Hoseok. Hoseok was beaten up while Jimin was having a full meltdown, shivering.
“Hoseok?” You stroked the hair away from his face. He coughed a little before opening his eyes.
“I-I’m okay... Chim...” He choked.
“Chim, Chim.” You slowly approached the calico cat.
“No! D-Don’t touch me!... Please...” Jimin hid his face in his arms, shaking his head as he balled himself up. You retracted your hand immediately, not wanting to agitate him even more. But you noticed that he was breathing so hard was turning blue.
“Alright, sweetie. I won’t touch you. But you need to breathe or you’ll pass out. Follow my breathing, Chim.” You said softly.
“H-Hold me?” He looked up at you, absolutely broken. You nodded and slowly moved towards him. Cautiously, you wrapped your arms around him and he flinched but let you draw his head to your chest.
“I’ve got you now.” You whispered.
“T-They... T-They touched m-me.” He sobbed. Your heart broke and you heard the other hybrids let out growls of anger, hearing Jimin’s words.
You remembered what you had first learnt about how ring masters treat their pets from Yoongi. Jimin must have had to relive that entire experience from his old owner. Whatever memories that he managed to forget or dissolved came rushing back to him, just like that.
“Shh. It’s over.” You knew whatever amount of comfort that you had to offer would not pull Jimin out of this trauma. He may not be as beaten up as Hoseok but he was definitely more traumatised.
“Come here, Hoseok.” You said and Hoseok moved over, laying his head in your lap as he closed his eyes to rest.
“They made me bait for the new training hybrids.” He said softly. You gently ran your hands through his hair in an effort to make him feel better. At the same time, you kissed the top of Jimin’s head. Yoongi was busy comforting Taehyung as well. The tiger was hurt seeing his best friend like that and he was afraid of his fight tomorrow.
“You’ll be fine, Tae.” Yoongi told the younger.
Turning your head, you met eyes with Yoongi. He stared at you and you blinked your tears away. He was thinking the same thing as you.
Just when will this torture end?
That night, Jimin’s nightmares were bad. You were woken up by his screaming and him scratching at his arms and legs. 
“Get them off! Don’t touch me!” He thrashed around. 
“Shh, Chim. It’s me. You had a nightmare. Don’t worry, I’m here.” You hugged him and rubbed his back. When the men brought in the meals for the day, you didn’t even let them look at Jimin as you hid him behind your back. They snickered and nudged each other playfully. 
“Put it down and leave.” You frowned. 
“What makes you think we will listen to you?” One of them crossed his arms. You glared at them. 
“Hey. Boss called for you.” A voice said and the men immediately bowed their heads to their boss’ wife, running off. You let out a sigh of relief. You haven’t seen her since the day the hybrids were brought in. 
“It’s okay, Chim.” You ignored her presence, comforting Jimin. 
“I’m sorry, I really tried my best to keep them away.” You knew she was referring to trying to stop your hybrids from being captured here. Of course, you knew it wasn’t her fault but from all the mental fatigue that you have been facing during your time here, your brain just needed someone to blame. And it had to be her. 
“I’m sorry.” She whispered again and left. Sighing, you brought the bowls of food over to Hoseok and Jimin. Hoseok ate slowly while you fed Jimin and yourself. 
Looking over, you saw Yoongi trying to convince a nervous Taehyung at least eat a little and Namjoon was slowly feeding a still battered Jin. 
“Hey, Jinnie. Are you feeling okay?” You asked. 
“I can’t believe... I... I almost.” He seized up. You grasped his hand. 
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Jinnie. It’s alright. You know what that drug does to you. You weren’t in the right mind. You were manipulated, you didn’t have control over your own actions and the snow leopard is alive.” You comforted him to stop him from having an anxiety attack. 
-
It was right after dinner when Taehyung was dragged out. Yoongi tried his best to stop them from taking him as Taehyung struggled and growled against the leash’s pull. 
“Yoongi!” You gasped when they hit him with the barrel of their guns. Yoongi fell to the side with a groan, blood dripping from his temple. Taehyung thrashed around but they still managed to pull him away. Soon, you knew that they would come for you soon. 
“Ladies and gentlemen! Another debut fight! A tiger versus a lion!” The announcer said. Even if it was happening right before your eyes, you felt like it was mile away. Your eyes only focused on the door. 
“Why so glum?” Boss Im tilted his head mockingly, lifting your chin. 
“I hope you rot in hell when all this is over.” You spat at him. He glared at you, slapping your cheek. 
“It’s nice to hear you still hold onto ‘hope’.” He chuckled, wiping your saliva off his face and sitting back down in his throne chair. 
“It’s not too late to place your bets!” The announcer told the crowd. Your stomach churned as the door opened and Taehyung was pushed forward. The lion hybrid jumped out. 
Everyone cheered as it let out a loud growl. Taehyung’s eyes were dilated and red as he smirked at the lion. 
“Tae...” You whispered. 
The drug had taken over his system entirely. Taehyung didn’t even wait for the announcer to ring the bell as he rushed forward and pounced at the lion. The lion wasn’t too scarred though as he wrestled around with Taehyung. Taehyung didn’t have fighting experience but being circus trained made him pretty agile and smooth. 
“That all you got?” Taehyung laughed. 
“I’m just warming up, cub.” The lion wiped his lips and they charged at each other again. You looked away as you heard a crack of bones. 
“Call me that again.” Taehyung growled loudly and jumped on top of the lion. The lion slammed him against the wall, making his groan. Blood dripped down his temple like Yoongi earlier. 
“Please, Tae.” You prayed silently. 
“Sir-”
“Let him kill the lion.” Boss Im waved lazily, obviously not caring about the other fighter. He had a glint in his eyes, as if excited for blood to be spilt. Taehyung and the lion got some good hits at each other. Taehyung grabbed the lion by the leg and broke it. You winced and the crowd cheered as the lion yelped. 
“Finish him!” Boss Im commanded. The look in Taehyung’s eyes were unreadable. With one last pounce, he bit into the jugular vein of the lion. It was like Yoongi’s comeback fight. 
“Good show!” The boss stood up and clapped. 
“We have a new favourite in our hands.” He said to his men, who bowed their heads, nodding in agreement. 
You just focused on Taehyung still growled at the lion’s body, blood all over his body while he watched the lion fade out. The lion slowly bled out in front of Taehyung while Taehyung smirked deliriously. 
“Reward my new little monster with meat. And take her away.” You just let yourself be dragged like a sack of rice. Even as they shoved you back into your cell, your eyes were distant and dead. You couldn’t believe you just witnessed Taehyung do that. Your sweet, innocent, harmless Taehyung smiling at the body of a hybrid he just killed. 
“Snowflake?” Jin called but it fell deaf on your ears. 
“What’s wrong with her?” Yoongi frowned. 
“Yah! Idiot, where’s Taehyung?!” Namjoon asked the guy that brought you in and was about to leave. 
“Boss wants to treat his new little monster.” He smirked and left. Namjoon and Yoongi knew what happened. Taehyung’s fight must have been successful for Boss Im but horrible for you. You ran over to the bucket in the corner, emptying the contents of your stomach. 
“It’s okay, (y/n).” Hoseok rubbed your back. You couldn’t erase the image of the blood from your head. 
“My love/ Kitten/ Snowflake.” The others couldn’t reach you to comfort you but tried their best to do it with their voices and words of comfort. 
“(y/n).” Jimin whimpered by your side. 
“I-I’m sorry. I... I just need a m-moment.” You shivered. 
“It’s alright. Take all the time you need, my love.” Namjoon replied, leaning against the bars. You leaned back in Hoseok’s hold, putting your head against his chest. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head as darkness washed over you. 
You woken up when someone knocked on the bars. You sat up, feeling the mattress below you. The cells were all empty, the boys were gone. You were alone.
“Where are the boys?” You asked. 
“Taking them to you now.” The person entered your cell, grabbing your arm and hauling you out of there. You tripped over your feet as you tried to follow him. It was scary not knowing where you were going. 
“Go.” You were shoved forward. Standing up, you realised that you were in the middle of the empty ring. 
“Hello, doctor. Sleep well?” Boss Im sat at his throne, looking down at you. 
“Where are the boys? What did you do with them?” You shouted at him. You didn’t like the smug smile he had on his face. It made your heart race as you were worried that he would do something to them. After all, you passed out before you could see Taehyung. Did he return to the cell after his fight? What about Jimin? Was he being tortured again? 
“Don’t worry, you’ll see them.” He shrugged. 
“What do you want?!” 
“Just conducting a little experiment. You’ll be helping.” He laughed. Before you could say anything, he sat back down. The lights dimmed and your eyebrows furrowed, just what was he getting at? 
“Hello?” You called. There was growling to your left. 
“Who’s there?” You stepped back but there was another hiss behind you, making you turn around. Eyes stared back at you. 
“N-Namjoon? Hobi?” You called. 
“No...” You gasped as the figures stepped into the light. It was them.
Your boys. 
They all growled and hissed at you. Their eyes dilated and red, just like Taehyung had been when he was fighting last night. You didn’t know where to go, you were surrounded by them. It was obvious they didn’t recognise you, they were completely drug induced and delirious. 
“Y-Yoongi.” You tried to call out to him but he just smirked at you, making you step back. You bumped into someone. 
“Jinnie.” You whimpered as he shoved you forward, making you fall to the ground. It would be impossible to fight them off. You were a human and they were 6 hybrids. 
“Boys, please. It’s me!” You constantly tried to break them out of the drug trance. They were circling you as you sat in the middle of the ring, like you were the prey and they were the predator. Fear coursed through your veins. 
“Snap out of it! Please, you’re scaring me!” You begged, watching them close in on you. Even Jimin and Hoseok were under the trance.
“Chim...” You reached out to him but he jumped forward, biting into your arm. Crying out in pain, you wrenched your arm from his mouth, cradling it against your chest, feeling your blood seep out from your deep wound. These weren’t your boys, they have gone completely feral. 
Taehyung growled and pounced forward, his palms digging your shoulders into the ground with a sickening crack. 
“Tae... Baby...” You cried in pain as you struggled to get out from his grip. 
He didn’t reply as he sniffed your blood. You cried as you tried to get out of the ring. You banged on the doors but no one would come. The boys all attacked you at once. You just took it, not being able to fight them off on your own. 
You didn’t want to fight them either, they were your boys. And they still are. You didn’t want to hurt them, you couldn’t bring yourself to.
Soon, the pain in your body turned to numbness. And yet, you couldn’t blame the boys. You knew this was out of their control. 
“Experiment success.” 
As you laid on the ground in your own blood, consciousness slowly slipping from you, you watched Boss Im stand up to leave. Yoongi wrapped his hand around your throat as they all looked down at you. You met eyes with each of them before you finally looked into Yoongi’s emotionless ones. You choked as you felt yourself get light headed from the lack of oxygen. 
“I’ll always... love you all.” You whispered as you mustered your last smile before your eyes fell shut.
~~
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stevesharrlngtons · 4 years
Text
picking out the stitches.
roman godfrey x reader 
summary: after letha’s death; peter’s departure; shelley’s disappearance; and a brutal fight with subsequent break up with roman; you escape to the empire state for college and a fresh start. though, after thinking you have been given the space to move on with your life, your father’s unexpected death sends you back to hemlock grove. there, you are forced to confront the reason for your pained departure.
word count: 14.1k (oopies)
warning: mentions of an abusive father
a/n: this is a long bitch, with a possible part two (?) if this is enjoyed by you all! (: i hope the length of this makes up for it taking so long lol. also prob ooc roman bc i love him just being soft 
please if you read this and like it, know that feedback is greatly appreciated and i’d love to hear any thoughts you have!! also im bad at editing 
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Tuna, turkey and swiss, BLT. 
No option offered sounded particularly tasty. You had come in search of egg salad sandwich, a surprising delicacy from the Hemlock Grove Grocery Deli that you had been craving since your departure months ago. It felt like comfort food, a way to make being back in town bearable. 
But the stockboys seemed to be sending you a message: there was no good reason to be back in town, and no sandwich was going to remedy your pain. 
“(Y/N)?” 
You flinched at the sound of your name as sweat prickled the back of your neck. The last fucking thing you wanted was to be recognized the second you got back into town. Being forced to interact with any of the waspy bitches or rednecks that attended your high school, especially now, seemed like a personal affront punishable with only your meanest of glares and most backhanded of compliments. 
But, who you found had called your name was not only a surprise, but a pleasant one. Not a bitch or mouth breather in sight. 
“Peter?” Your eyebrows perked up as you said his name, no doubt unable to hide your complete shock at his sudden appearance. 
“In the flesh.” He smiled. That same boyish smile that he always gave especially when you needed to see it. 
Your body worked on it’s own violation as you shot yourself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug. He thankfully returned the gesture, gripping the fabric of your dress in his fingers to keep you close. Peter pressed his nose to your temple and you buried yourself deep into the crook of his neck. It wasn’t until a voice cleared behind you that the two of you pulled apart. 
“Excuse me,” A man holding a wire basket interpreted, seeming less than pleased to have been forced to witness your reunion. 
“Sure, after you, sir.” Peter said, theatrically waving the man past. 
“Stupid fucker, couldn’t even go through another aisle.” He watched the man leave with a scowl.
“Shut up about inconiquestional people and tell me what the hell you’re doing back in town!” You said with a wide smile while slapping his chest playfully. 
“I think that’s a better question suited for me to you, don’t you think? Last I heard you fucked off to N-Y-C.” Peter said, leaning against the display of sandwiches. 
“Yeah? And who told you that?” 
“Destiny.” 
You smirked and rested your shoulder against the display, “She’s got a big mouth.” 
“Big mouth? Who cares if she does! New York is a big deal. NYU, even bigger.” 
You roll your eyes at the compliment. 
“Hey, no, I’m serious! You always were the scholar out of us. Fucking valedictorian while Roman and I barely managed C’s.” He continued. 
At the mention of Roman, you sucked in a sharp breath through your nose, eyes breaking from Peter’s only long enough for him to see your pain at his name. 
“You still haven't answered my question, you know?” You said, trying to seamlessly change the subject, fiddling with the ends of your hair to keep your hands busy. 
“Yeah, well, it isn’t a happy answer.” 
“Enlighten me anyway.” 
Peter gives a heaving sigh, a signature of his, “Lynda got pinched for some shit and was transferred out here... I followed.” 
Your heart sank. Lynda had always been exponentially kind and understanding. To you, Shelley and even Roman. 
“Shit, Peter. I’m so sorry. How’re you holding up?” You placed a comforting hand on his forearm. 
“As well as I can given the circumstances. I’m staying with D, so at least that’s good.” He gives a forced smile. 
“I’m glad you’re with family at a time like this.” You drop your hand and slouch against the display, matching his relaxed posture. 
There was a brief pause between the two of you, before Peter spoke again. 
“Usually, when one party enlightens the other, they are obligated to do the same.” He leans in ever so slightly to emphasize his point. 
“That is usually the deal, yes.” 
“So?”
“My dad croaked a few days ago. Heart attack.” 
“Holy shit, (Y/N/N),” Peter interrupted, face falling into a concerned frown. 
“No, no. It’s fine. He was a piece of shit,” You shrug. 
“Still, he was your dad.” 
“Yeah, he was my dad who hit me and my mom and loved booze more than either of us.” 
“He still was your dad, (Y/N).” He reiterated. 
You purse your lips and sigh.
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to be all fucking weepy about the whole thing.” You say, grabbing a turkey and swiss from the display and pushing off to walk toward the register. 
“No one said you had to be,” Peter appealed as he followed behind you, “But don’t let everything get all clogged up in there.” 
He motioned to his chest and you roll your eyes, setting your sandwich on the conveyor belt for the cashier. 
“I promise you, the moment he is six feet under I will let all my emotions out. Mainly rejoice and relief.” You sent Peter a smile as your sandwich rang up. 
“Four forty, even.”
You reach into your purse, but Peter beats you to it. He hands the cashier a crumpled up five dollar bill. 
You give him a glare, “You didn’t have to do that.” 
“Of course I did. It’s gonna be my lunch too.” He snatched the sandwich from the bagging area and saunters to the exit, leaving you to gather the nickels and dimes. 
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Parked in a gravel parking lot looking over the lake, you and Peter sat in the cab of his tow truck. Both eating a half of the mediocre turkey and swiss while sharing a warm cherry Coke from the center console in silence. After a brief session of catch up on your lives over the past few months, you were both happy enough to just sit quietly in each other's company. Simply enjoying the comfort of being in the presence of someone you love. 
“You ever hear from him?” Peter spoke up, mouth full of bread and slimy meat. 
“Who?” You at least have the decency to cover your mouth as you spoke. 
“You know who. Don’t make me say his name, you got all squirly last time.” 
You sighed as you finish chewing the food in your mouth, savoring what you could of the cheap flavors as you avoided Peter’s gaze. Once you swallowed, you took a long gulp from the Coke can before answering. 
“No. He’s been out of my life since that night. Really prefer to keep it that way, too.” You replied clippedly, not wanting to talk about him any more than necessary. 
Peter belows a raspberry in response. 
You looked over to glare at him, “What?” 
“I just find that hard to believe.”
“That I don’t want to see the man who broke my heart?” You snap. 
“No, that Roman has been able to keep his distance from you.” 
“I thought we weren’t saying his name.” You abruptly look away and out the windshield once more. 
“Apologies.”
“You don’t have to sound so sincere about it.” You scoff. 
“What happened between you two, anyway? Before I left I could practically hear wedding bells.” 
“Destiny didn’t tell you?” You press your lips together firmly, hoping Destiny had just made up a lie on your behalf to tell her cousin. 
“All she said was that you and Roman supposedly got into this huge fight and you left a few days after. Nothing more, nothing less.” He explained. 
“Yeah, well huge fight is an understatement.” 
“Then what happened?” 
You sigh deeply, reclining against the headrest and wrapping your arms around your middle for some misplaced search for security. 
“It happened a few days after you skipped town. It was his birthday…” 
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Music echoed around you as you placed gentle kisses along the expanse of Roman’s neck. You ran your fingers through his hair gently, collecting grease and pomade on your fingertips and under your nails as you did. He had an arm securing you tightly to his side, the other had been holding you too, but he had retrieved it to light a cigarette. 
After the traumatic week you two had undergone, you didn’t fight Roman much when he insisted all he wanted to do for his eighteenth birthday was drink, watch a movie and have you sleep over. You were happy he at least let you buy him a cupcake to commemorate the day, but wouldn’t see to any more festivities. He told you that now more than ever wasn’t a time to be merry. You didn’t blame him, no matter how much you wanted to celebrate him today. 
So, you let him share his birthday cupcake with you in the bottom of an empty swimming pool and hold you in an uncomfortable lounge chair for as long as he wanted. Fortunately, this was as calm as you’d seen him in days and you hoped that continued; at least until midnight. 
Roman lulled his head on top of yours and placed his hand on your hip, making sure every part of you that could be touching was. 
The sound of a door opening resounded in the distance and the distinct tap of heels on tile followed. You felt Roman deflate next to you as you both recognized who the sound belonged to. 
In sauntered Olivia, in a beautiful floor length gown with a sparkler in hand, painting patterns in the dark with the fire illuminating her wicked smile. 
“Happy Birthday, my darling.” She chimed, looking down at the both of you. 
You and Roman both shifted under her unwelcome gaze, neither responding. You turned further into Roman’s neck and you felt his fingers press harder into the flesh of your hip. 
“It can’t be a party with just the two of you, can it?” Olivia said, dropping the sparkler to lay by her side. 
“Well, three’s a crowd. So if you’ll excuse us.” Roman waved his hand that held his cigarette dismissively.
“One is the loneliest number, but two can be just as bad.” Olivia replied in a musical lit. 
Again, neither of you respond. You busy yourself fiddling with the collar of Roman’s tank top.
“(Y/N), darling, you do look beautiful tonight.” She turns her attention to you after the silence she received. Something Olivia knew Roman disapproved of her doing. 
“Thank you, Mrs. Godfrey.” You reply politely, glancing at her briefly before going back to Roman’s shirt. 
“Is that the dress Roman bought you some time back? I remember hearing you tell Shelley about it over dinner.” Olivia continued. 
“What is it that you want, again?” Roman snapped, making you flinch at his volume increase. 
“I have a surprise for you. In the attic.” She gestured using what’s left of the dying sparkler at the ceiling. 
“Can’t it wait?” Roman said, wholly disinterested. 
“No, it cannot, Roman. It is your birthday surprise and I would like to give it to you now.” Her voice became more stern by the word. 
Roman moves to look at you and you do the same. His eyes are inviting you to a conversation Olivia isn’t privy too. An almost psychic communication you’ve had together since the day you first met. 
Do we go with her? Or wait her out until she leaves? 
Just see what she wants. Once she’s shown you we can get back to doing whatever you want. 
Roman pursed his lips before letting out a dramatic sigh, “Fine.” 
He got up from the chair before offering you his hand to help you up. 
Olivia watched as you both climb the ladder out of the empty pool and onto the landing. 
“Let’s get this over with.” Roman gave his mother a firm glare. 
He placed a hand on the small of your back and started for the door when Olivia stopped him. 
“I’m afraid, this gift is for Godfrey eyes only.” She looked at you with weakly masked distaste. 
You felt Roman’s fingers once again probe into your skin, “She is a Godfrey.” 
“Not in name or blood.”
“But she will be so it doesn’t matter.” Roman retorted, harshly. 
This wasn’t the first time he had alluded to your future together, and at the time, you didn’t think it would be the last. 
“Well, she isn’t yet, is she? When she is, then she will be welcome to engage in all Godfrey birthday present exchanges.” Olivia sneered.
“There is nothing you could show me that she can’t-” You placed a gentle hand on Roman’s chest before he could continue. 
This fight certainly wasn’t worth it. Especially not over a fucking birthday present. 
“It’s fine. I’ll wait in your room.” You offered. 
“Off the premise.” Olivia chimed in curtly. 
“Excuse me?” Roman spat. 
“(Y/N) can go home and see you tomorrow. This gift needs much explanation and discussion.” 
“This is beyond fucking ridiculous!” 
“Ro, it’s OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You smile up at him. 
You didn’t want to leave him. Not now, not ever, but never with Olivia. 
“I’ll see you later tonight.” Roman stressed.
“Tomorrow would be-” 
“Let’s just call it a see-you-soon, then?” You cut off Olivia, never taking your eyes off Roman. 
He just tightens his jaw, so tight you’re afraid he might crack a filling. But he nods. 
“Fine. I’ll call you.” He says. And he says it with such sincerity that you know without a doubt he will, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He kisses your forehead and you kiss his cheek, not overly keen on giving him the proper goodbye kiss you wanted to infront of Olivia. As you walk away, you spare Olivia a last glance and the look on her smug face is one so self satisfied it made your stomach churn. 
Roman never called you that night, or even the next morning. The calls you gave him were left unanswered; texts and voicemails the same. 
You would have called Peter, Shelley or Letha to see if they’d heard from Roman at a time like this, but all were depressingly dead ends. 
Under the circumstances that you left under the night before, you took it upon yourself to drive to the Godfrey residence and find out what the hell was going on yourself. You didn’t trust Olivia as far as you could throw her, and you didn’t put any heinous act past her. 
Your worry beat out any common sense you had to stay away and wait for Roman to come to you. 
When you arrived and knocked on the door, several times to be exact, it seemed no one was home. Though, both cars were in the driveway and you knew neither Roman or Olivia would take a cab anywhere. With balled fists you slammed against the wood of the door, kicking your foot against it as well for good measure. You had been in your knocking rhythm so long, when the door finally opened you stumbled forward. 
You caught yourself on the knob and looked up to see who answered. 
Roman stood above you with expressionless features and down turned lips. 
“What?” He asked. 
“Don’t ‘what’ me! ‘What’ you! You never called and you haven’t been answering.” You said, straightening yourself out. 
“You’re not my fucking keeper,” Roman scoffed and turned his back to walk down the hallway. 
Your face screwed up in confusion as you stepped over the threshold into the mansion and slammed the door, then followed him through the house. 
“Excuse me? What is up with you?” You exclaimed. 
Roman had stopped in the kitchen, rummaging through the refrigerator while trying his best to seem unbothered with tense shoulders. 
“Nothing is up. I just didn’t want to call you.” He spoke into the crisper drawer. 
“Since when?” 
“Since now.” 
“What the fuck did Olivia show you? Must have been really messed up for you to be acting like this.” You let a humorless laugh through your nose. 
“Or maybe I was just happy to be rid of you and now that you’re back, I am pissed.” He slammed the door to the fridge, its contents rattling inside. 
Your surprised expression hadn’t wavered as Roman glared at you, his eyes dull and unfamiliar. 
“Ok, so, yesterday you’re talking about marrying me, and today I am some parasite you’re happy to be rid of? Is that right?” You took a step toward him. 
“I was never going to marry you, you delusional whore.” His first real hit, chipping away at your weak armour. The armour he had weakened himself with his love and care for years. 
“If I’m whore, I’d hate to know what that makes you.” You spat. 
“It makes me the fucking billionaire who mistakenly kept around some boring girl with a mediocre cunt.” His second hit. 
“Wow. You’re right, Roman. I am a whore, but I must be an idiot too! To stay with such a man who calls my pussy mediocre when he can’t even fuck me right.” You provoked. 
“Fuck you.” 
“Yeah? Why don’t you? Because for as long as I can remember I’ve been faking my orgasms just to get your pathetic little prick out of me. Is that why you cry after Roman? Because you know about that weak excuse of a dick between your legs?” 
You were being cruel and frankly, spinning lies. But he was hurting you and you wanted to hurt him back. 
“No, I cry thinking about all the other guys you let between your legs. Maybe that’s why daddy hits you, huh? Hoping that one day he hits you hard enough to rattle that whore brain so hard it kills you? So he won’t have to live with the shame? Or maybe he hopes if he hits you enough you’ll finally drop to your knees and show him that head everyone in town talks about.” The last hit, and the one that broke you. 
You close the last few steps between you and strike him as hard as you can muster across the face, cranking Roman’s head to the side with the impact. The slap rings loudly through the room, so do your sniffles. 
“How can you be so cruel? How could you ever say that to me?” You scream through tears. 
“Just speaking the truth.” Roman said smoothly, his head still rotated. 
“What is going on with you? What happened last night?” 
“I came to my senses, that’s what happened. I realized that I was sick of wasting all my time on a miserable little bitch when I could be out fucking real women.” He says through gritted teeth, “Real women who don’t need so much tedious validation from me.” 
“Are you done?” You snapped, your throat thick with tears. 
“With you. Yes.” 
You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Malicious words spun in your head, ready to fire off your tongue and tear him apart, but you knew you would never be able to get them out in one piece. You would stutter and sob and shake and it would give Roman even more satisfaction at seeing you crumble. So, you turned on your heel as fast as you could, holding your hand over your mouth to silence your cries and fled the Godfrey home. 
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“Shee-it.” Peter said, looking sick. 
“Shee-it, indeed.” You nod. 
“So, that was it?” 
“That was it. I was there barely five minutes when it was all said and done… then I went home, cried my stupid eyes out and packed my shit. It was always the plan for me to do online courses and stay here with him, but, y’know, things changed... So, I left.” 
“I know that feeling.” Peter says, giving the river a thousand mile stare. 
“I know you do. Let’s not forget you abandoned me, too.” You said, far more harshly than intended. The topic of the break up having brought old wounds to the surface. 
A pained expression crossed his face, “(Y/N)... Fuck, I’m sorry. I am. I just… after Letha,” 
“You don’t have to explain. I’m sorry I snapped. I forgave you the minute you left, for the most part, anyway.” You shrugged. 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” You sigh and look over at him, “If I had been in your shoes I would have hightailed it the second I could have.” 
He offers you a sad smile, “But you needed me, and I left.” 
“It’s really OK. Because you’re here now. And it all worked out.” 
“New York that good, then?” 
“Better than good. I’m alone and broke-.” 
“And that’s better than good?” He chuckles.
“Surprisingly, yeah. I’m learning and figuring things out on my own. I’m finding things that make me happy without having to worry about anything else. It’s just nice.” You smile as you speak. 
“That makes me happy. Man, it really does. All I ever wanted for you was happiness. I thought I had left you with the silver you had left of it.” Peter says, resting his temple to the head rest. 
“You did what you had too and so did I. I’m sure Roman did too, in his own twisted way,” You reply, “I don’t want to focus on the past anymore. I am purley looking forward to the future from now on.” 
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Peter dropped you off at home after hours of milling around the streets of Hemlock Grove in his truck. You kept asking if he had to go back to work, but he would dismiss your concern each time. Telling you that he was spending time with you and he’d worry about towing later. As much as you knew you should pressure him to take you home, you were happy for the company, especially when that company was Peter. 
His reappearance in your life was unexpected, but wholly accepted and appreciated. You didn’t know the next time you’d be able to see him again, so you were going to enjoy his companionship while you had it. 
Hopping out of the truck and brushing residual crumbs from the turkey sandwich from your dress, you shut the door. The window rolled down and Peter leaned over the console to look at you.   
“Don’t be a stranger.” He smiles at you and you can’t help but return it. 
“Never again.” 
“If you have time, come by Destiny’s before you head back up north. I know she’d love to have dinner.” He proposes and your smile widens. 
“I’d love that, I’ll keep you posted.” You start to back up toward your front door. 
“And let me know if you need anything, anything at all. I know losing someone is tough.” His smile falls slightly as the funeral is mentioned again. 
You knew Peter was worried about you and he had good intentions, but he didn’t know your father like you did. You were going to this thing for appearances and to make your grandmother happy, if you had had a choice you would have rather stayed at school. 
“Got it. Thank you, Peter.” 
You wave him off and you watch as he double takes to look at you until he is out of sight, only then did you enter your house. 
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The house isn’t much and it wasn’t the home you grew up in. When your mother finally left your father, she promptly moved you both into a smaller place on the west side of Hemlock Grove that was better suited for your new family dynamic. 
It was a dated burgundy one story, with bland beige carpets and no overhead lighting in the bedrooms, but with two bathrooms. That was helpful down the line when your mother began dating again and her multiple suitors would stay for weeks at a time. You never wanted to be alone with any of them, so that meant crossing the boundary into her room to use the en suite was always out of the question. 
Your bedroom was somewhere you always found solace and comfort, even now it felt more like home than anywhere in the world. It had a small excuse of a bay window that looked out over a small and shallow creek. One of your mother’s more involved boyfriends had built you a window bench years before underneath it, upholstered in red velvet. You had run your fingers over the soft fabric so many times, certain places were now rubbed raw and threadbear. 
Roman used to sit on your bed while you sat on the bench, reading to him from a litany of novels, some for pleasure and some for assignments. He’d look at you and tell you the light from the window haloed you like an angel. You’d tell him he was just talking out of his ass to get you to stop reading and fool around. Then Roman would smirk and shrug, like he wasn’t sure who was more right. His memory seemed to be etched into every detail of your bedroom, unfortunately. 
There was the small heart he had carved into your headboard with an unclicked pen, your initials carved around it. There was your small Ikea vanity, that was stained with nail polish from the time Roman insisted he could do your nails better than you could. There was your closet, just big enough to hold you both inside; where you would steal kisses when you first started to sneak him into your room at night. There was the faded paint on the wall in the shape of a rectangle, where a picture frame of you and Roman at your first homecoming together had once been. There was your fucking duvet cover, that you and Roman would hide underneath on bright mornings. Where he’d hold you and kiss you softly, whispering sweet affections until the muggy air between you became thick and he’d push your noses up over the edge of the blanket to take in giggling gulps of breath. 
Roman Godfrey had left painful reminders of himself everywhere. There were too many for you to erase fully. His memory was like a Hydra, repress a recollection of his and two more would pop into your mind in its place.
Now, all the bench held your small suitcase that you had packed early this morning for your short trip down to Pennsylvania. Just some toiletries, a few changes of clothes, a black cocktail dress and a few textbooks. Just because your father died didn’t mean your school work would lighten because of it. 
While it wasn’t very late, you had been up early to catch your train and hadn’t expected to be out all day with Peter. You excused your premature exhaustion and decided it was best to take a shower, have a snack and then go to bed. Tomorrow was to no doubt try your nerves, so a full night's rest was likely your best option. 
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After your shower, you slipped into a pair of pajamas and went down the hall to see if your mother had left you any suitable food. She was still on vacation with her current boyfriend and wouldn’t be able to make it back until Monday, a full day after you were set to leave. So, all you could hope was that there was something edible left in the pantry. 
Tussling your damp hair in your hands, you padded through the kitchen to try and make something with the odds and ends your mother had in stock. 
As you settled on a half eaten bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa, there was a knock at the door. Your mother’s car was missing from the driveway and anyone who would drop by unannounced knew she was out of town. Assuming it was a solicitor or a package delivery, you ignored it and continued on with your pre-bed snack. But the knocking didn’t let up. 
Begrudgingly, you made your way to the door in the hopes of shooing off whoever was bothering you. Though, when you opened it, you debated simply closing the door like it nothing had happened. To just shut the door tight and pretend that you hadn’t seen who was standing on your doorstep. All six feet four inches of him. 
With his back to you and a large bouquet of roses in hand, Roman glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open. He looked about as startled as you felt when he laid eyes on you. 
“(Y/N).” He blurted out, his body swiveling like an owl to face the same direction as his head. 
“Roman.” You gave him a forced smile, cursing that you had lost your opportunity to run and hide.
“I, uh, well, wow. I, these are for your mother,” Roman whipped out the bouquet from behind him, “I heard about your dad. I just wanted to see how she was holding up. I know they aren’t close or anything, but y’know, it’s still the father of her child.” 
You took the flowers from him carefully, making sure to avoid where his fingers lay on the stems. 
“She’s not here, but thanks. I’ll make sure to let her know you stopped by.” You continued your kind facade before moving to shut the door. 
But Roman was quicker as he placed a large hand on the wood to keep it ajar. 
“I’m sorry for you too, you know? I know how it feels to lose a father. So, I’m sorry.” He said, like he was trying to keep you in his company as long as possible. 
“Wish my dad would have eaten a bullet when I was a kid. You got lucky.” You joke, once more trying to shut the door. 
And Roman continued to keep it open. 
“Well, I know things ended… bad- But! I’m still here if you need me. For anything. Have all the preparations been taken care of?” He asked. 
“Yeah, my grandma and grandpa took care of it. Nothing to worry about. But thanks, Roman.”
Roman’s eyes widened and his mouth puckered, the way he always did when he had a million things to say and no idea how to say them. 
You began to notice his attire as he loomed over you, with no seeming intention of leaving you or your front stoop alone. 
He wore a thick winter coat over a black three piece suit, tailored to perfection. His hair was parted on the right and smoothed down with gel. It certainly wasn’t your favorite look on him, but your input hardly mattered anymore. He wore Oxford dress shoes that were spotless and without a crease. You realized just then that he must have come right from The White Tower to bring the flowers to your mother, and these were his work clothes. These were the clothes and fifty dollar haircut of a fresh faced CEO.
You had known that he was set to secede the throne of Godfrey Industries once he turned eighteen, but you never gave it much thought after you moved to New York. The Roman who haunted your dreams and took residence in your thoughts was always your Roman. The boy who wanted to smoke and dance and kiss and laugh. Not a business tycoon out for blood. 
“I didn’t know you would be in town. I would have stopped by.” He said, finally finding words to give him a reason to stay. 
“You already have.” 
“I know, but I would have made it more deliberate. More to see you and not to just give my condolences to you mother.” Roman explained, his hand still on the door. 
You snort, “Yeah, well I don’t know why you’re giving her flowers anyway. She doesn’t like you. Not after I told her everything.” 
“Yeah, uh, I didn’t know that.” He laughs uncomfortably, finally taking a step away and relieving your door of his hostage. 
“Well, it was nice of you to come by. I’ll see you around, Roman.” It was clear from your tone that this incommodious conversation was over. 
Though, Roman still was outwardly ignoring your brusque attitude, “Could I come in? I would love to catch up for a moment? For old times sake?” 
“I don’t know if that is such a good idea.” 
“I won’t be long, I promise.” He bargained
You watched him for a long moment, debating on what to do. On one hand, you craved his presence. You craved him after just one sighting and wanted him to come in, to talk, to listen, to heal. Because like you said to Peter in the car earlier, you did believe that Roman had done what he had for a reason, it was just no doubt a fucked up and selfish one. You couldn’t hate him forever, you didn’t want to. It would destroy you before it did any good. 
On the other, all you could do was hear his voice echoing in your mind, explaining his disgust for you. 
But, you wanted to look to the future. You wanted to free yourself of the burden of grudges and hatred. You wanted to forgive Roman, the best you could, and leave him and his faults to fester in the past while you moved on with your life. 
So, you pushed the door open wider with the tips of your fingers and walked back to the kitchen, while Roman eagerly followed. 
“I’ll have to find every vase in the house for these,” You quietly joked.
“I could buy a big vase to hold them tomorrow and send it over if you’d like?” He was following closer than you would have liked as you searched the cabinets for vases and empty jars. 
“No, it’s alright. I think I’ll like how eclectic they’ll look in mismatched glasses.” You said, “And then I could put them all around the house. It’ll be a nice surprise for my mom when she gets home.” 
You undid the thick satin ribbon holding the bouquet together and found a pair of scissors to cut off the ends.
“Want me to fill these with water?” Roman asked, nodding to the empty vases.
“If you don’t mind.” 
Roman nodded, shedding his wool jacket and blazer, depositing it on a chair. Then, rounding the island to stand next to you to begin filling each receptacle from the sink. 
He was closer to you now than he had been in months. You could smell his woody cologne that clung to his skin, mixed with cigarette smoke and the night air. He must have been driving with the top down. You hated that only his scent could send your heart into somersaults and make your hands quiver with need. All you could think about with him in such a proximity was looking up into his green eyes and him looking down into your (Y/E/C) ones. Looking down at you with that stupid fucking smirk. Then with that smirk, Roman would place a hand on your cheek and gently press it to your lips and you would be in heaven. 
Anything Roman did to you was heaven. 
Expect when he was hurting you. Which you had to remind yourself, he very much did. 
“So, where’s your mom?” Roman asked, placing a mason jar next to faux crystal vase.
“In Florida with her new boyfriend.” You commented. 
“Yeah, I heard she was seeing someone.” 
“You know if he’s any good?” 
“Nah, just that she was seeing someone. I keep an ear to the ground to make sure she’s doing alright.” Another glass filled. 
“You don’t have to do that, Roman.” You paused cutting stems for a moment to glance up at him. 
He was already looking at you. 
“I know. I want to. It’s the least I can do.”     
You hold eye contact for a few beats, Roman’s eyes boring into yours in that hyponic way that always left you weak in the knees. 
“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” And you both went back to your tasks at hand. 
It was obvious that you were more than willing to work in silence, and it was clear that Roman wasn’t. 
“So… how’s NYU?” He prompts. 
“Good. I really like it.” 
“Enjoying your studies?” 
“Very much.” 
“And the city? Is it treating you alright?” 
“Yes, I think after I graduate I’ll stay for a while.” 
Roman only hums in reply. Like that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
“Well, I’m happy to hear that you’re doing well.” 
“Thank you.”
The conversation lulls as the sound of water and sheers fill the room. 
Roman is chewing his cheek and bobbing his head, and you know he won’t let up his chatter anytime soon. 
“I’ve been working at The Tower. I took over a few months ago.” He says, eyes darting to you like he was looking for praise. 
“Oh,” You reply like you hadn’t already figured it out, “How’s that going?” 
“Fine. I mean, it’s a lot of work. A lot of stress, but I’m glad I’m doing it.” He sounds unconvincing as he rambles on about Godfrey Industries and Pryce’s lab while you focus on the flowers. 
“Do you ever wonder what you would be doing if you hadn’t been told your entire life that you would take over Godfrey?” You ask, somewhat out of the blue.
Roman stops talking abruptly, his hands pausing under the tap. 
“Not really.” 
“Isn’t there anything else you would have wanted to do? Like in a dream scenario in a perfect world?” You elaborate. 
Roman seems unsettled by your questioning, like these were things no one had ever asked him. Things he had never even asked himself. 
“I think in a dream scenario, I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams. And I already am, so why waste time dreaming?” You can tell he isn’t even satisfied with his answer.
You don’t reply, leaving the subject where it lay in the air to go back to working in silence. 
“So...” Roman begins again, refusing to let the conversation die down.
“You seeing anyone?” Roman tries to sound blase, but you know this question lays heavy on him. 
You barely withhold a scoff as you set your scissors down to look at him once more.
He double takes in your direction, not wanting to look at you for fear of your answer, “What?” 
“I’m just surprised you held off this long without asking the question we both know you wanted to ask the second you saw me.” 
“Not really an answer…” he murmurs. 
“Not really your business.” You counter. 
“So there is someone?” You could hear a twinge of anger in his voice. 
“Not that it is any of your business, because I want to stress that it really isn’t, but no. I am not seeing anyone.” 
“Oh.” Roman’s lip twitches into a smile that he tries to conceal from you. 
“Yeah, oh.” You roll your eyes and finish with your clippings and begin to arrange the rose into glasses. 
“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Roman, with his work now over, turns to look down at you, a smirk on his lips. 
“Ask you what?” 
“If I’m seeing anyone.” 
“I don’t care, Roman.” 
“Really?” He leans closer to you.
“Well, what constitutes seeing someone, to you? A one night stand? A hooker? An actual multiple date relationship? What is your definition?” You jeer. 
“How would you define it?” 
“Different from you.” 
“Oh come on,” He pokes, “Tell me.”
He was becoming far too chummy with you for your taste.
“I guess I would define it as multiple dates.” 
“By that definition, then no. I’m not seeing anyone.” 
“But if I defined it by hookers and one night stands?” You inquired. 
Roman doesn’t answer. 
You can’t help but laugh, “And you said I was a whore.” 
The air between you changes, then. It was calm, if not slightly awkward before then, but now it felt tense and uncomfortable.
“(Y/N), I…” 
“Don’t.” You reply before he can say anything else. 
“But I want to say this, I need to.” Roman persists, reaching out to grab your shoulder. 
You shrug off his advance quickly and take a few steps back from him. Roses and vases completely forgotten. 
“I need to apologize to you.”
“You need to apologize to me for what, Roman?”
“For that night, what I said-!” Roman starts. 
“No. What I mean is, are you apologizing because you’re actually sorry? Because you think that’s what you’re supposed to say to me? Or because you want what you did off your conscious?” You raise a single eyebrow. 
“Are you kidding? I’m saying this because I am fucking sorry! I hate what I said to you, it fucking eats me up!” Roman throws his hand in the air as he yells. 
“So it is option C.” You replied. 
“Jesus fucking- no! It’s not! It’s A! It’s fucking A. You think I wanted to do what I did? Huh? You think I wanted you to leave?” 
“Yes, I did. I do.”
“Then fuck you if you think that. Fuck you if you think that I wanted to say all those things. Maybe you don’t really know me at all.” Roman sneers. 
“I already concluded that.” 
He scoffs.
“Is this why you wanted to come in? Force me into conversation? Ask me if I’m dating anyone, give me a half assed apology and insult me?” You crossed your arms. 
“No! No, that’s not why I asked to come in.” Roman shot back. 
“Then why?” 
“Because I fucking missed you, alright? I fucking missed you and I needed to be near you, even if only for a moment.” 
Roman’s voice echoed in the kitchen, his words hanging in the air and ringing in your ears. You could hear them dance in your mind and slide down your back with a chill, taunting you and making your emotions tear in a million different directions.
“Roman, I think it’s time for you to leave.” You say, running your tongue over your teeth. 
“No! I’m not fucking leaving. Tell me you don’t miss me too.” Roman took a step toward you as he ran a hand through his slicked down hair, ruining it’s perfection. 
“I have to get up early, so I just really think you should go.” 
“(Y/N), tell me you don’t miss me and I’ll leave right now. You’ll never see me again, I swear.” 
You don’t respond, just cross your arms over your chest. You rub your hands over the skin of your arms, peaking your fingers beneath your shirtsleeves and gripping the fabric tightly. 
“Just tell me.”
You meet his gaze as Roman closes the gap between the two of you. He was close enough for you to feel his breath on your skin and the warmth he radiated. An unwarranted chill set through you. 
All hope of forgetting the past and moving on was gone, you didn’t care anymore. All you wanted was for Roman to leave. You wanted him to leave so you could wrap yourself in blankets and cry until you couldn’t see anymore.
“Roman, just go.” You whispered, your vocal chords straining to even do that. 
“It’s because you can’t say that you don’t.” Roman raised a hand a single finger tracing the features of your face and causing your eyes to drift shut. 
He traced your orbital bone and the angle of your nose and your eyebrow and ear. He traced your jaw and your chin and the shape of your ear and stopped to caress your lips. 
With each swoop of his finger tip, he was erasing hurt and anguish and pain. He was soothing you and giving you an old form of intimacy that you had craved. He was regaining his sense of self in your mind, reminding you that he could act like he had before that night. He was twining his roots back into your mind.
When his finger finally stopped, you opened your eyes and saw tears had gathered in Roman’s. They were threatening to breech from his lash line as he stared at you with a drumming heart. 
“Tell me why you hurt me first.” 
And Roman dropped his hand and said nothing for a long moment. 
“It’s a long story.” He replies, sniffling loudly through his nose. 
“I’ve got time.” 
“It’s not pretty.” 
“I don’t care.”
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You had moved to the dining room for Roman’s story. You both sat on opposite ends of your mother’s old mosaic table that you had both eaten many meals at. It was covered in vintage tiles and you picked at the surrounding grout as you listened to him. You ground your fingernails between the titles, filing them into powder as Roman told you about his birthday and everything that had happened since the night you left him. 
Of Letha. Of the child. Of the razor blades embedded into his arms. Of his mother’s tongue. Of the bloodlust. 
Of the loss.
“This is some fucking Twilight bullshit.” You said once Roman had gone quiet.
“This isn’t fucking funny, (Y/N).” Roman replied, bouncing his knee and pinching his chin. 
“No, it’s not fucking funny at all, Roman. Not even a bit, but it is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life.” You snort a laugh from your nose. 
“You don’t believe me?” 
“Oh, I believe you. After all that shit with Peter, of course I believe you. Doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.” 
Roman raises his eyebrows in understanding with a slight nod. 
“So, what? You saying all that shit to me was because you thought you were going to suck me dry, or something?” 
“Stop making jokes.” He growled. 
“I’m being fucking serious, Roman! What was it?” You stood from your chair to impose over him. 
“You deserved better. It would have been too much for you.” 
“Oh, don’t be such a martyr, Roman!” You fumed, “Since when have you ever got to decide what was good and what was bad for me?” 
“You don’t understand!” Roman pushed up from his chair with such force it tumbled to the floor, “I could barley fucking handle this, OK? I had been living a lie, I had become a monster overnight! I was fucking scared for you- scared for me. What I could do-” 
His voice began to quiver and his palms shook as he wiped his clammy palms on his slacks. 
“You would either have left me or I would have killed you. I don’t doubt that for a second, and I couldn’t lose anyone else. Not after Letha, not after Peter and Shelley. I just couldn’t.” 
“So, pushing me away was the answer?” You asked. 
“At the time, yes.”
You just shook your head, and collapsed back into your chair.
“I did it because I loved you.” Roman said, tears streaking his flushed cheeks. 
“Stop, Roman...” 
“I fucking loved you so much so I made you leave. I fucking love you more than anything.”
He spoke like he was taking his last breath and collapsed to his knees like a dying man, his bones smacking loudly against the linoleum as he crawled to you, tears still leaking from his eyes. 
“You have to believe that I’m sorry. I am, I am, I am.” 
Roman rested his head on your lap as he wept, his hands clutching your calves. 
You felt like you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think or speak. All your mind could comprehend was Roman’s deep and encompassing sadness and his wayward soul. 
You could barely grasp the story he told, so it was unimaginable to you how it must have felt to live it. Your heart ached for him so profoundly. 
Of course you didn’t agree with what he had done to you, not for a moment. He had resorted to cruelty out of fear and you hated it. It was inexcusable. 
But, you folded yourself in half and covered his body with yours anyway, and let Roman cry in your lap. You let him cry out the fear and sadness and the exhaustion he had felt these past months. 
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You had let Roman cry himself dry before escorting him to the door. He held your hand on the way and you didn’t stop him. When you reached the door, Roman was the one to open it and step out into the cold Pennsylvania night. Though, his hand stayed intertwined with your own as he walked out onto your porch.  
“What time is the funeral?” He asked. 
“10 AM.” You replied. 
His skin seemed to glow against the night sky, his milky complexion contrasting beautifully to the dark nature behind him. 
“I’ll be there.” 
You shook your head, but squeezed his hand, “You don’t have to, really. It’s going to be long and boring.” 
“(Y/N),” He looked at you with a crisp sincerity, “I’ll be there.” 
You didn’t know what to say, because you weren’t entirely sure what you should say. You wanted to beg him not to come and make a spectacle at his attendance. You wanted to beg him to come and hold your hand and ward off the demons your father had sewn into your psyche. 
“Please, Roman, it’s not a big deal. I swear. I’m sure you have better things to do.” 
He pursed his lips back at you, like he was deciding if arguing with you on the matter was really worth it. Or if he would win or not. In the end, he said nothing. Just nodded and glanced over to his bright red Jaguar in the driveway. 
When Roman looked back to you, you both knew a goodbye wasn’t needed. Your love-telepathy coming back just for a moment to bid each other adidu for the night. An intimacy you didn’t even know you missed until now. 
Roman was the first to step away, pulling your hands apart as he did. You felt each finger detangle from his own, until your pinkies were the only things tethering you to each other. When they detached, your hand fell listlessly to your side and Roman watched you intently as he walked to his car, got in, and pulled from your drive away. Only looking away when he finally drove into the night. 
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You smoothed the dress over your hips as you smiled politely at guests entering the church. They offered you watery smiles and condolences as they spread out into the pews.
You wanted to spit in their faces and scream. Scream and sink your nails into your skin and tell them that he had painted bruises on your skin and installed his hatred for you into your heart before you were old enough to know it was wrong. 
He wasn’t a good man. He was far from it. 
But no one who was crying tears for him and shaking your hand knew this, and if they did they didn’t care. He was good at hiding what he did, what he had become. 
You felt like your head was in a fish bowl with the more people who entered. Their faces blurring and distorting before you, their words muffled and useless. You began just nodding at everyone’s words, refusing to listen to anything else they had to say about Heaven and God’s good will. You wished you had a good excuse to leave and never come back. 
It wasn’t until someone wheeled in the casket that you found your escape from the line of mourners and made your way outside. Because the second you laid eyes on the box of shiny mahogany, your stomach dropped to your feet and bile threatened to spill from your lips. 
The man you had hated your entire life, the one who had hurt you, the one who struck you, the one who had belittled you, the man who hurt your mother. That man was dead. He was in that fucking box, seperated from you and the living by a few inches of wood.
That man was your father and he was supposed to love you and now he was filled with stuffing and had waxy skin covered in blush and a heart that would never beat again. A mouth that was sewn shut and would never speak again. To never yell, to laugh, to tell you he loved you. 
It was over. 
Then why were you so sad? 
Maybe Peter was right... maybe you’d even tell him. 
As you made your way outside, you sucked in as much fresh air as your lungs could take. You let the cold air chill your exposed skin and the grey skies calm your overstimulated senses. While gulping in the breeze and pressing your fingernails to your palms to ground yourself, you gazed out over the parking lot. It was then, that you shed your first tears of the day.
Because there, all in black leaning against his car was Roman Godfrey, looking right back at you.
He’d come. 
Because he cared. 
Because he loved you. 
You didn’t think twice as he ran down the church steps as fast as your heels could take you to him, needing to feel him. Roman did the same, rushing across the asfalte to you, wrapping you in his arms immediately as you collided with his chest. 
“You came,” You sobbed into his button down, “You came, you came, you came.” 
“Of course I did.” He cooed, nuzzling close to you. 
“I needed you and you knew and you came.” 
“I’ll always come, even when you don’t call.” 
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As you both went back to the church, Roman stood with you to greet people coming in. His hand on your lower back and his grandiose stature and expression keeping people from dawdling too long to speak with you. 
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The service was bleak and full of lies, but you mustered through it without a scoff or outburst for your grandparents sake. Roman sat next to you the entire time, his arm over your shoulder and his temple resting against your head. He’d occasionally place a gentle kiss to your hairline or stroke his fingers over your arm as a reminder that he was with you. 
And you loved him for it.
When it was all over and your father’s casket was being rolled away, everyone dispersed. Some to follow the hearse to the graveyard, some to just go home. You and Roman stayed in your seats. You had decided you didn’t want to see your father put in the ground. Not because he didn’t deserve it, but because you couldn’t handle it. You weren’t sure exactly all the reasons why, maybe Peter would know the answer to that, too.
You both waited until no one was left in the church, just watching the sun gleam through the stained glass windows at the ceiling and enjoying each other's company. 
“You alright?” Roman asked once he was sure everyone was gone. 
“I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out, I guess.” You said with a half hearted shrug. 
“It’s OK. You have time.” 
You gave a nod before leaning closer to him, resting your head underneath his own, letting Roman sit his chin on your crown. 
“I thought I would be overjoyed when this day finally came… but I’m not. I’m not really happy and I’m not really sad. I’m just here.”
“I think that’s just fine.” Roman replied, rubbing gentle up and down your arm. 
“Thank you for being here.” You remove yourself from under his chin to look at him, “It would have been so much worse without you.” 
Roman offered you a soft smile and placed his unoccupied hand on your cheek. 
You placed your own hand over his and shut your eyes, reveling in his soft touch. 
It was so quiet and all you could hear was the sound of your heart in your ears and Roman’s rhythmic breathing.
“What now?” 
“I’m not sure,” You open your eyes to see he’s already looking at you, “Where are you going?” 
“Wherever you are.” 
You smile, “Then take me there.” 
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As you walked through Roman’s front door, you tried to hide a frown. The old Godfrey mansion had been so intricate and full of character. With crown molding and warm golds and rich browns, and history in every nook and cranny. Roman’s new home… it was sterile and bland and grey. It felt cold even with the hum of the radiator. It felt large and imposing, much like it’s owner. It was the type of home that echoed with loneliness.   
“So, what do you think?” Roman asked from where he stood close behind you. 
“I like it,” You said, “It’s very…” 
“You hate it.” 
You turned to face him and he was looking at you fondly. 
“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” 
He nods and takes a step forward, “Yeah, I sort of knew you wouldn’t like it.” 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You always loved the old house. Said it felt like you were in a  victorian novel.” 
Your heart fluttered in your chest at his memory, “And you always hated it.” 
“I wouldn’t say hate. Just, not my style.” He grins at you and you can’t help but smile back at him. 
“So, you decided when you moved out you’d make your new place the antithesis of it?” 
“Something like that. Anything to erase the memory of my mother.” Roman says this with the cadence of a joke, but his eyes darken at the mention of Olivia. 
“I can’t say I blame you.” You reply before he quickly changes the subject. 
“Have a seat and I’ll make us both a drink,” He says, gesturing toward his large loveseat in the living room. 
You do so, and as you sit down, you admire him standing over the wet bar. He had shed his blazer from his suit on the kitchen table, and through the fabric of his button down (an expensive silk blend from the looks of it) you could so the movement of his broad shoulders and the expanse of the muscles in his back. 
The memory of running your hands across the peaks and valleys of his back stuck you. The memory of his smooth skin under your palms made your fingers burn with yearning and twitch with need to reacquaint yourself with the velvet that was Roman Godfrey’s skin.  
Roman had finished making your drinks. Both crimson in crystal tumblers. He walked to you and handed you the beverage, which you accepted with a thank you. As you took your first sip of your drink, you couldn't help but smile as Roman sat down next to you on his couch. 
“Vodka cranberry?” 
“Like I’d forget your favorite drink,” He says, smiling against the rim of his tumbler, “Well, second favorite. I don’t really have the ingredients for a Long Island iced tea.” 
“I think this works better under the circumstances, anyway. Drinking a Long Island iced tea after a funeral feels a little morbid.” 
“Yeah, but your dad would’ve hated that you were drinking one.” Roman pointed out. 
You chuckled, because he was right. Your father hated drinks where the alcohol was masked by chasers and sugar. He deemed them feminine and embarrassing for anyone to drink, ridiculing anyone (no matter their gender) if they ordered one. 
“That is true,” You take a pull from your glass, “He would have hated that you went to his funeral, too. Because, well he hated you.” 
Roman gives a wide smirk, “I can’t say that doesn't bring me some joy.” 
You could count on one hand the number of times your father met Roman during the years you dated. Though, everytime he had, he made his distinct dislike for your boyfriend overwhelmingly obvious. He thought of Roman like most other people in town did. A spoiled, rich, entitled, sauve asshole. But, for your father, he felt like he had a personal stake in hating Roman. He masqueraded like he didn’t like Roman simply for dating his daughter, but he didn’t give a shit about you or your well being. Your father, the pathetic drunk that he was, was threatened by Roman more than any man you had ever met. He was the one person who he couldn’t intimidate and feel superior too, because Roman didn’t feel intimidated or lesser to anyone in the world. 
“Me too.” 
You both drink in silence for a moment, and you pretend not to notice Roman as he inched closer to you on the cushions. 
“Do you remember,” Roman says, swallowing a gulp of his drink, “that time we snuck into that club in Philadelphia? And you and Letha, just got, like absolutely abliderated on Long Island iced teas?” 
You smiled at the memory, your lips parting with glee the more you remembered about the night. 
“Yes! Oh my God, I had totally forgot about that.”
Roman had paid off some bouncer to let the three of you into some club downtown and it had been a spectacular night. You and Letha were guzzling drinks like it was the end of the world. Roman was only encouraging your recklessness with jokes and bankrolling the bottomless teas. Letha had danced on the bar top while singing you an off key Elton John song while you drunkenly squealed with glee in a hysterical Roman’s arms. You had never seen Roman laugh so much until that night. 
You all danced and drank and laughed and smiled. You had all hid in a corner as you had fished out cocaine from a baggy with your pinky nail, and held it to each Godfrey’s nose like you were giving them communion, before blessing yourself. 
You distinctly remember hanging off Roman like a kola most of the night. Giving him sloppy kisses and groping him in the crowd with whispered promises of more when you were alone. You remember him smiling down at you and always having a hand on your ass. You remember Letha’s happy screams and giggles and how she was twirling so much on the dance floor she tumbled. 
“That was a really good night.” You said. 
Roman nodded, “It was. It was one of those rare times I could get Letha out of her shell.” 
The mood dipped from happy memories to grief as his cousin's untimely death was remembered. It was written clear as day on Roman’s face that he was far from healed from her passing.
“I miss her, too.” You placed a hand on his. 
“Yeah. Life isn’t far, huh?” You saw he was trying to ward off a wash of emotion, not wanting to wallow in her death, because it wasn’t an easy pit to push himself out of. 
“No, it really isn’t.” 
If life was fair, Olivia would have been long deceased. Roman wouldn’t have ever been coerced to do any heinous acts. Letha would be alive. Shelley would have never vanished. 
You didn’t dare bring up his missing sister to Roman, because that pain was almost worse than the wound Letha’s death had inflicted. For the both of you. 
You had learned from Peter the previous day that Shelley was still missing with no leads in finding her. You had nodded but said nothing else and he had let you. 
You had always been close with Shelley. She was so kind and sweet, and incredibly understanding and thoughtful. You were the only two women Roman truly loved and that bonded you in a way, to be the only ones to have his unfettered devotion. The thought of Shelley, out in the world alone, scared and labeled a fugitive made you sick. You couldn’t think about it for long without your nausea sparking and tears forming in your eyes. 
“What I said to you… that night? That wasn’t fair either. It wasn’t fair of me to hurt you like that.” Roman says, his eyes cast down. 
“Roman, we don’t have to do this again. It’s fine, no worries.” You said as casually as possible. 
“No, but it really wasn’t,” Roman shakes his head and rotates his body toward you. 
“I said those things because I was scared, not because they were true. You have to know that.” 
You swallow thickly and nod. Rationally, you knew that was true. After Roman had explained to you yesterday the reason for his vicious one-eighty toward you, you knew that he was only being cruel to push you away. But the words still hurt, they were still brutal enough to feel like there was an ounce of truth to them. 
“I was wrong, I can see that now, yknow? I was really wrong for all of that,” Roman lamented, “I fucked up.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N). That’s what I really want to say, what I really want you to know. And you know me, probably better than anyone in the world, maybe even more than I know myself,” He huffed a laugh, “And you know that I don’t apologize. Because I’m not wrong. I’m just not. I don’t say I’m sorry, not to anyone… but this, I gotta own up to. Because I was wrong for hurting you, pushing you away.”
You listened to Roman with baited breath. 
“You were the only person who ever really saw me. Looked into my eyes and saw past the bullshit and accepted me, loved me… and the idea of you hating me forever killed me, fucking killed me so much. But it was better than you sticking around and seeing that all that bullshit was true, and maybe I was even worse.” 
“Roman,” You rasped, gripping his hand tighter, your fingernails biting into his skin. 
“I promised to never hurt you, to protect you, keep you safe. And I failed.” 
Roman had always been protective of his loved ones. He hoarded them like a dragon with gold, prowling in front of them with bared teeth and spitting fury. You still remember the first time he pledged his devotion to you, his undying protection and loyalty. 
It was after the first time he had met your father. A dinner at the Godfrey mansion with your parents, Olivia, Shelley, yourself and Roman. It was an evening requested by Olivia to meet the parents of the girl who had bewitched her son. 
She had been her typical elitist self, turning her nose up at your middle class parents with joy. You were sure she was vibrating in her seat with happiness that she could feel so superior to your average parents. Likely hoping Roman would see this too, and kick you to the curb. 
You mother had been aimable, mostly quiet. You always thought of your mother as a very charming woman, who could talk to anyone no matter the circumstance. But, Olivia would barely let her get a word in, so she took the hint. Though, you could tell Shelley liked her, and that warmed your heart. 
The night’s conversation was dominated by Olivia for the most part, regaling the Godfrey wealth and stories of her privileged life. When she wasn’t boasting about herself, your father would be the one to chime in. Either with an offensive comment or with his poor table manners. It was like having a wild boar in the Shangri La and you felt your face heat with consistent humiliation. You could see your mother twitch uncomfortably across from you whenever he would act, and you knew she was in the same boat. 
You were already planning your apology to Roman when your father spoke up. You had been too busy stewing in your mortification to follow the conversation being had at the time. 
“Well, I tell you something, Roman. This one over here,” Your father stuck his fork over to you, “Isn’t gonna be a good little wife, not like your mother is.” 
Your father threw a smarmy grin to Olivia.
“You’re gonna have to wipe her into shape. Always wants to back talk and cross her damn arms and stomp her damn feet at you.”
Your father laughs and nuges your mother with his elbow, like he had made a joke. Like he thought this joke about you as Roman’s meek little wife would please Olivia and your boyfriend. 
Olivia laughed along and made a comment about her predisposition to wifehood because of her upbring, while Roman seethed. You could see his jaw flexing and hear the sound of his ragged breaths through his nose. You discreetly placed your hand on his lap, doing your best to calm him, but it did nothing as your father continued to make comments about your disrespectful personality, all with the cadence of a joke. 
“Why don’t you go out for a smoke?” Roman said to your father through gritted teeth. 
“Excuse me?” You father said, stopping mid sentence and glaring at Roman. 
“I said, why don’t you go out for a smoke and cool off? And when you come back, be a little fucking nicer?” 
Roman’s eyes bore into your father’s as he spoke. Your father looked furious at this teenage boy’s demand, and you were sure there was going to be a fight. Both men were incredibly hot headed, that this evening might even end in a physical altercation. But, your father just pushed up from the table and left the five of you in awkward silence. Roman relaxed once your father was gone, taking your hand from his lap and intertwining your fingers together on the tabletop. Your mother soon struck up a conversation with Olivia about the antique chaise lounge in the living room. 
Roman held your hand for the rest of the night. When your father returned, he stayed silent. 
When it was time for your parents to leave, Roman offered to drive you home. Though, the minute both you were out of sight of his home and your parents, he pulled over.
“Roman, I am so sorry about-” You began, but Roman stopped you by placing his hands firmly on your cheeks. 
“Don’t apologize. Not for that fucking man.” He said, his tone turning venomous when he mentioned your father. 
“The fucking nerve of him,” Roman spat, his hands tightening on your face, “The fucking nerve of him to speak like that about you. And to me! To me in my fucking home. I’m going to kill him, I’ll fucking kill him.” 
Roman spoke sincerely and you wondered for a moment if you asked him to kill your father, would he? 
“He’s not worth it, he’s not even worth your anger.” You sighed, placing your hand on his wrist and stroking his skin with your thumb. 
“He isn’t worth shit. That fucking cunt.” 
You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched your boyfriend speak obscenities. 
“What?” 
“You look very sexy when you’re this mad.” 
You could see Roman’s face visibly relax. You knew he was still angry, but your comment had placated him.     
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” You grinned at him and began to lean in for a kiss when Roman stopped you. 
You looked into his eyes again and you saw this serious demoaner was back. 
“I will never let him say anything like what he said tonight to you again, OK? Never. I’ll never let him fucking touch you again,” Roman came to rest his forehead to yours, “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I will keep you safe forever.” 
And you believed him. You believed him more than you had ever believed a single person in your life. There wasn’t an ounce of you in that moment that could argue with him. You trusted him fully. 
“Ok.” Was all you could say with the emotion that was brewing from his confession, before he finally pulled you to his lips. 
It was the first time you realized you loved him. 
“All I have ever wanted is to keep you safe.” He said it with the same vigor and sincerity that he had in his original vow to you in his car on the side of the road. 
And again, you couldn’t help but believe him. 
“I forgive you.” You really did. 
He was swathing you with the salve of love and honesty, healing the wounds he carved into your skin with his earnest. 
“You were scared, you had just had your life turned upside down… I get it. It’s OK. I’m not blameless either. I said some nasty things.” 
Roman looks up from where your hands are connected and gives you a signature fierce stare.
The weight of his gaze on you feels heavy as he leans forward to set his glass on the coffee table. His eyes never leave yours as he does. As he moves back to the couch, he uses his movement to his advantage to seamlessly reach out to cup your jaw, as he settled back next to you, much closer than before. 
Goosebumps bit across your flesh as the feeling of his broad palm engulfed your face and his breath began to fan across your lips. Roman was smooth, he was graceful and agile in everything he did. Everything including the set up to a kiss, especially a long awaited and important one. 
Roman glides his middle and forefinger up to cradle your ear, to anchor himself to you before using his thumb on the underside of your jaw to tilt your chin. You blood was rushing loudly through your ears and all you could think of was him as Roman’s other arm came to rest across the back of the sofa and ecase you in his arms. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip before he descended for yours. 
And you felt euphoric. A warmth in the pit of your stomach that only Roman would kindle.
Roman nuzzled his lips against your mouth, the tip of his nose brushing your own. Your hands migrated to lay purchase on his shoulders as you let Roman pull you impossibly close to his body. You could feel his heated cheeks against your face and you could feel his racing pulse beneath your fingers as he tipped your face up and opened his mouth into the kiss. His tongue dipped past your lips and you accepted him with a soft whimper. 
Your sound of pleasure surged Roman on as he began to kiss you harder. Sweeter. Messier. Hotter. Just like he always had. 
Soon, you were flat against the couch cushions, Roman above you as his hands explored your body. Your legs bracketed his hips, pushing the heels of your feet against the tops of his thighs to keep him snug against you. Your hands clutched his back tightly, the very same back you had been craving to get your hands on since you walked through the door. 
Roman’s lips detached from your own to drift to your cheeks, your jaw and your neck. To bite, to suck and lick with his sinful tongue. You keened and moaned at his attentions, your back arching into him. The spit he left in his wake met the air in a chilling exchange that cooled your fiery skin. 
“My baby,” He said to your skin. 
“My girl,” He groaned. 
“Mine,” He bit the junction of your neck and shoulder. 
“Mine, mine, mine,” 
You didn’t want to be present while listening to his possessions. You wanted to let them grip you and own you and continue to make your stomach flutter. You didn’t want to have to tell Roman right now that you didn’t know if you could be his again…
“You’re mine, always, always, always,” Roman moaned against you, his voice pornographically seductive. 
“Yes, please,” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but you just knew you didn’t want the feeling of Roman to stop. 
“It’s me and you, we’re together again, it’ll all be OK now,” He says before giving you another sloppy kiss. 
“Be with me, be here. We can make it work.” 
Roman goes back to attacking your neck with his petal soft lips, but you were finally snapped from your the haze of pleasure he had accosted you with. 
“Roman, hold on,” You pushed your hands on his shoulder, “Stop.” 
“What?” He pulled away from you quickly, chest heaving as he looked down at you. 
He looked so boyishly innocent. His lips flush from kissing and his once perfect hair askew from your ministrations. Eyes wide and questioning. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. 
“I,” You took a pause, “I can’t stay here, Roman. I just can’t.” 
He looked like you’ve shocked him, stuck his finger in an electrical socket and watched. Roman pushed himself further up, but still hovered over you. 
“What do you mean you can’t stay?” He says your words back to you like they were a personal affront. 
“I live in New York now, that’s where my life is. I can’t just leave.” 
Roman’s jaw flexes and you watch him swallow. 
“What? So, this means nothing?” He gestures between your bodies. 
“No, of course not. Of course it means something.” You replied hastily. 
But, Roman was already getting up off of you and started to pace the length of his kitchen. You pushed up to watch him with concern. 
“I don’t know what you want me to do, I said I was sorry and I am. I really, truly am! So, why can’t you just stay with me? Be with me?” He argued. 
“I know you are! I do, but just because I know you’re sorry doesn’t change the fact that I have a life somewhere else now, Ro. I can’t just abandon it.” 
“Why can’t you? Just come home!” Roman threw his arms up in anger. 
“I don’t want to abandon it, Roman. I don’t want to leave. I like it there.” You move yourself onto your knees as you speak. 
“Jesus fucking-” Roman looked away from you and tugs at his hair, “I can’t believe you right now!” 
“Roman,” You sigh. 
“No! You know what? I have been declaring my fucking love for you for the past two days and that just means nothing to you? Because it doesn’t mean nothing to me.” 
“It means something-!” You begin, but Roman talks over you. 
“And that, that on the couch, that fucking meant something to me! Because you mean something to me, (Y/N). You always have and you always will.” He’s shouting now, if he had any neighbors you’re sure they would be able to hear. 
Your eyes filmed with tears as you watch him. 
“And fuck, while I’ve been going on like a bitch about how I love you, how I’m devoted to you, and you haven’t said shit! Not a word.” Roman’s eyes are beginning to wet as well. 
“Is that what this is? You don’t fucking love me?” His anger cracks as his voice quivers. 
“Roman, no!” You spring from where you knelt on the couch and rush to him, “I do, you know I do. I love you! I love you so much I ache.” 
You cry freely now as you try to clutch his face, but Roman brushes you off. 
“I love you, I have always loved you Roman. I always will. But,” 
“But what? How is that not enough!”
“I need you to love me enough to know there is nothing for me here.”
“Not even me?” His lip quivers. 
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Your hands shake and so does your breath, “I mean there is not real life for me here. You have The Tower and that’s you life, but what about me? What could I possibly do here that would make me happy?”
Roman says nothing, just swallows a hiccup that threatened to burst from his throat.
“I need you to love me enough to let me leave.”
Roman’s face crumbles into a drastic frown as he fights tears, “I can’t. I can’t do that, not again, I can’t. I can’t let you leave again.” 
“Baby,” You choke out. 
“No! I can’t, I love you. So, please, just love me enough to stay. I’ll give you everything you could ever want, anything you could ever dream of to make it better here.”
“Roman, I love you. I do, I always will. But, maybe this will be good for us. Have time apart to be our own people. I think it might even be healthy?” You say your last words with a watery smile that Roman doesn’t return. 
“I don’t want to have time apart. I had time apart from you and I was fucking miserable.” He states. 
The thought of Roman all alone in this house, heartbroken and stewing in pity and anger makes your heart convulse with pain. You thought of all the nights you slept in your dorm room, silent tears streaking your cheeks as you held your hand over your mouth in hopes to not wake your roommate. You wondered if on the nights you cried for him, if Roman had cried for you? Had he cried at all? Or while you were pouring yourself into your studies to forget him, he was fucking whores to forget you?
“Roman, please just… I love you, just please,” Again, you had no idea what you were begging for. For him to let you leave? For him to convince you to stay? All you knew was that this day had been so catosphroticlly emotionally draining and all you wanted was to fall into his arms for comfort.
“Do you want to be apart from me?” He asked bluntly. 
“Roman, just-” 
“Answer me. Do you want to be apart from me anymore?” 
Your mouth was thick with discarded tears and phlegm. All you could do was look at him and hope he understood you. To tell him you didn’t. 
His eyes softened and you knew your mental tether was still intact. 
Roman takes a step toward you and moves his head to be level with your own, “Then we’ll make this work. I’ll convince NYU to let you take online classes from here, OK? I’ll build them some new buildings - hell! A new campus. I’ll be their new biggest donor, their new favorite fucking person. I’ll give them whatever they want as long as they give me you in return.” 
“I can’t ask you to do that, Roman.” You look down at your feet. 
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” 
You pierce your teeth into your bottom lip and look back up at him. Back at Roman with his pink, glossy eyes and hopeful gaze. 
“I love the city…” 
“Then we’ll fly up every weekend, no exceptions. I’ll buy us a loft in the heart of Manhattan.You can design it to your heart’s content. Make it will feel warm and old and us. The opposite of this place.” Roman says quickly like he knew that would be your next rebuttal. 
You gasp a sob and close your eyes tight. You feel Roman close the distance between you both and cup your face in his large hands. 
“And we will figure the rest out, whatever else is holding you back. We’ll find you your dream job or your passion or whatever you want.” 
You crack your pulsing eyes, to see Roman’s face now streaked with tears. 
“Just tell me you’ll stay.”
You knew this was a risk. You knew he was a risk. You knew leaving New York and NYU sounded naive and utterly foolish to someone on the outside of your and Roman’s relationship. You knew that you would fight with him, that you would get angry with him, that he’d work too much and that he would have to reschedule trips to the city. You knew you would get irritated with each other and you’d say something snarky and Roman would say something mean. You knew there would be nights you went to bed angry and days where you gave each other the silent treatment. You knew it would be hard. Most things involving Roman were. Expect loving him.
You knew that even with all the bad that came with a relationship with Roman, it was eons better than being without him for a moment longer now that you had him again. 
You had wanted to look to the future, to forget the past and forge a new way for yourself. Truthfully, you still did. But maybe you could start over with Roman by your side? Wash away the pain of his indiscretions and learn and grow and heal together? You hoped you could. You hope you weren’t letting your overwhelming love for the man in front of you cloud your judgements. 
So, you placed your hands on his neck and watched his face turn hopeful and said: 
“Ok.”
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i really wish i could say i loved this, but i am really on the fence about if this story is even good at all? it was better in my head. but! i hope you enjoyed it anyway and pllsss if you did, gimme some feedback <3 it makes me happy :-)
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sukirichi · 3 years
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Sukiiii here’s layk my part two-ish well something of the sort HAHAHAHA
How are yaaa?? Fine and well, I hope since people, family and friends are getting sick here—left and right, btw You play genshin? I PLAY GENSHIN TOO!! Yes Asia server, Imma send u my UID tmrw since Im alr lying down as I type this HAHAHAHA okay setting that aside
OKAY I’VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP and Read both chapter two and three and Prince Kiyoomi 🥰🥰🥰🥰 OKAY BUT I LOVE HOW each prince have their own secret/problem. Just waiting for Akaashi’s and Ushijima’s 🤭🤭🤭🤭 but alas to be Airi in your story rn ahahahaha—:”D screw being a lady of a high status lemme be a maid who falls for Prince Kita and have a forbidden love story 😍😍😍😍 HAHAHAHA
I mean Kiyoomi, I love you but Shinsuke, I love more HAHAHAHAHA okay but can we talk about why an arranged marriage usually happens and why a girl (yeah cursing her will take too much and the other readers are alr doing it HAHAHAHAHA) like Iris is married to Kiyoomi whom she doesn’t deserve btw—I smell a scandal that can disrupt the not so peaceful royal family even more. I alr have my theories and suspicions but Imma keep them at bay first and read a few more chapters or atleast before the reason is revealed.
OKEI THEN Do I see a sprout or a Seed Planted for YN’s Char. Development at Chapter 3? Like when she smiled and Suna couldn’t read it, is that a sign or like a foreshadowing of her slowly just slowly like superr slowly growing—It’s too early-ish for an actual growth but I smell a foreshadow or a little sprout but at this point I think Im just sprouting nonesense—haha—get it? Lame? Yeah ik but I still laugh HAHAHAHA
I have no words for suna—laykkkk—nada, it’s just too much rage and whatnot cuz laykk—Oh so you’re just gonna promise to care for YN in exchange for using her and breaking her heart??? Ano yon pang palubag-loob kay YN?.? (To Make her feel better in English to anyone else actually interested in reading this long ass ask)
I feel bad for Princess Maiko though—she reminds me of the main character of Empress Ki except she isn’t a maid nor does she lose her fam (Idk if she gonna grow but hey Im rooting for her just don’t do anything stupid to help and plot to hurt YN or else screw u HAHAHAHA) and as the saying goes (Honestly idk I prolly just made it up) “The Royal Harem/Family is not for weak-willed/hearted or for the innocent, else you suffer” and Princess Maiko is layk the living example of this
BUT I DO NOT feel anything LIKE NOTHING at all—not a single shred or an ounce of sympathy for Iris—no girl and when you said we’re gonna hate her more? Let me guess—she does one of these or all of these; annoy YN or embarrass YN or taunt or even take Suna away or well fk him during their honeymoon (wouldn’t be surprised—Im sure Suna will find some stupid excuse to disappear anyways)
OKAY THAT is all for this super duper long ask—Always stay safe and keep urself healthy, hydrated well fed and well rested!! amd ofc always Take Careee!!
With lots of love,
-🎧
HEADPHONES ANON AHSJKA I WAS GONNA ANSWER THIS A WHILE BACK BUT IM SORRY I REPLIED LATE :<< also, yes, I’m fine! lots of family friends here are also getting sick, but thankfully I’m safe from covid rn and I hope you are too! YES BESTIE I PLAY GENSHIN DROP YOUR UID LET’S GO PLAY! I’m excited to play with you omg (but heads up that I’m not great at it, I’m a newbie and I might be slower in keeping up. aka I get lost a lot and my game loves to glitch and freeze so it’s a fun experience to coop with me <33)
YES TO BE AIRI. IMAGINE BEING THE BEST PRINCE’S LOVE OF HIS LIFE. LIKE WOW. how to be airi rn. and hmm yes, there’s definitely…something behind Kiyoomi and Iris’ marriage that’ll be revealed soon. also theories? yes yes, I’m listening if you ever wanna share! HELP THE SPROUTING NONSENSE PUN AHSJAA but yeah, it’s foreshadowing! I agree it’s too early to make her grow that fast and at this rate, like I’m going to break her completely first, and we’re not at the stage yet where she totally breaks down. but yeah, the part about her smiling and rintaro not knowing what it means, it was foreshadowing that she’s getting better at hiding her feelings…and mayhaps even being manipulative towards rintaro… omg yeah, pampalubag loob for YN like no thank you, Rintaro. but at the same time, the truth hurts a lot, I kind of understand why we stick to the great fantasy even if it’s a lie. YN hurts less when she just lets herself be happy in his arms and decide to overlook the fact he has someone else in his heart sobs
oooh for Iris being more hateable in the future, you guys will definitely just what she does! or more like, what is rintaro gonna do that involves iris. HEHEHEH. omg take care too, have a nice day / night <33
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