#that jack was kind of immortal. he probably has died in front of them before and they just shrugged it off like oh well. that's jack. :)

[quietwingsinthesky]

absolute funniest thing about torchwood is how the show tries to insist at first that the rest of the team doesn't know that jack harkness can't die. jack harkness, a man known for his incredible subtlety and how much he definitely doesn't die on a regular basis. jack harkness who spends his days in mortal danger around them on a regular basis. jack harkness who has zero self-preservation skills anymore because he stopped needing them. we're meant to believe these guys never had any clue that he's immortal.

[aion-rsa]

Guilty Gear: 15 Most Powerful Characters

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Guilty Gear has one of the more ridiculous storylines in fighting games. A beautiful-looking series with a fantastic cast of heroes and villains, the sci-fi anime aesthetic lends itself to some wacky concepts.

The broad strokes of the series aren’t all that bizarre, as it tells a pretty basic story overall. In a world where magic was discovered, three scientists accidentally unleashed a new type of species that led to a lengthy war between these creatures (Gears) and humanity. One scientist became a genocidal monster, one a grizzled anti-hero, and another a mysterious wildcard watching over everything. Eventually, the war ended and peace reigned, but the possibility of the war reigniting is a constant threat.

That’s not too out there on its own. Except the story also features a large vigilante doctor who wears a paper bag to hide his identity as a crazed serial killer. There’s a ninja who gets elected President of the United States, only to later figure out it would be easier to just start his own country. There’s a comatose boy in a weaponized bed whose personality is a mix between Freddy Krueger and Mandark from Dexter’s Lab. There’s a yoyo-wielding bounty hunter, a time-traveling Axl Rose knockoff, a dandy vampire, an assassin who uses reality-bending billiards as a fighting style, and so on.

Shit gets weird.

With Guilty Gear Strive finally out on store shelves, giving us the long-awaited final battle between Sol Badguy and That Man, it’s time to take a look at the most powerful beings in the Guilty Gear universe. One character I’m leaving off the list is Leopaldon from Guilty Gear Isuka. Not only is the game not canon, but even WHAT Leopaldon is (a dog and a wizard piloting a yeti?) isn’t well-explained. But if you want Leopaldon, he’s definitely on our official ranking of all the characters in the series.

Anyway, here the most powerful characters in Guilty Gear:

15. IZUNA

Izuna, a hero introduced in Guilty Gear 2, is a bit on the mysterious side, but there’s enough information to make it apparent that he’s someone to take serious. Not only is he over 500 years old, but he resides in the Backyard, an environment so uninhabitable that most others would be crushed by its magical atmosphere. He’s skilled as a swordsman, and his teleportation abilities are said to be equal to the strength of several hundred mages combined.

It’s presumed that Izuna didn’t show up in Guilty Gear Xrd because Ariels saw him as such a threat to her plans that she sealed him away and kept him out of play before her schemes could really kick into gear. That’s quite the compliment, in a roundabout way.

14. RAVEN

Raven is all about experience and durability. He simply can’t die, can contort himself, and is unable to feel pain. Even his Instant Kill sees him summon energy that engulf him and his opponent, which turns his enemy to dust while he simply lives to fight another day. He also has control over spatial magic in a way that makes Faust look like a novice. He’s absolutely a force to be reckoned with no matter what character he’s up against.

Still, resilience can only get you so far. When you get down to it, he’s comparable to someone like Deadpool or Wolverine, albeit with an even stronger healing factor and some magic bells and whistles. He may live to fight again, but he can still be overwhelmed and defeated with the right strategy. Guys like Slayer and Dizzy might not be able to completely annihilate him, but they can presumably contain him.

13. THE VALENTINE SERIES

The initial Valentine was the final boss in Guilty Gear 2 and Ramlethal Valentine was the boss in Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign-. They, along with Elphelt Valentine and Jack-O Valentine, are treated as crucial parts of the series.

Yet, they just…never really do anything that justifies ranking them higher on this list. Plus I have to lump them together because it’s hard to really compare them when they can apparently shut off each other’s powers.

Then again, I guess the original Valentine is the alpha of the group as she could upgrade her form a couple times over for the sake of final boss battles. Not that it did her any good.

12. I-NO

I-No is a tough one to figure out. Guilty Gear XX introduces her as a major threat, and a mysterious one at that. Her origin isn’t explored at first, and by the time the series explains what the hell she is (some kind of being the universe created out of everyone’s wishes for a better tomorrow?), it doesn’t really give her much context as a combatant. That said, “Manipulating probability” is one of her powers, making her pretty damn formidable when combined with her almost unlimited battle experience and toughness.

Read more

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Guilty Gear: Ranking All the Characters

By Gavin Jasper

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Even though she’s treated as the boss character in Guilty Gear XX and spends the story messing with everyone, Guilty Gear XX Accent Core lets the rest of the cast catch up to her. Most of her endings involve her being defeated and even killed by those she just beat in-game. For instance, I-No defeats Baiken in-game but then Baiken just gets back up and murders her.

11. BAIKEN AND ANJI MITO

These two are so intertwined and comparable that they’ll have to share a spot. As I already mentioned, they both own I-No no matter who wins the in-game battle, which I’m going to take as a sign that they’re simply superior to her on the battlefield. Both are part of the series’ interesting subplot where people of Japanese descent are both incredibly rare, but also teeming with energy. Unlike May, these two have actually tapped into their genetic potential.

But it has its limits. Baiken has been demolished by Justice in the past, and her attempts to get revenge on That Man only ended in frustration when she couldn’t land a single hit. And he wasn’t even fighting back!

10. KLIFF UNDERSN

Poor Kliff is one of those old school fighting game characters who dies in his own ending, therefore dying in canon. Not that it’s surprising, considering he’s entering a fighting tournament in his late 80s. Still, Kliff is a legend and made a name for himself during much of the war against Justice. Sure, he was taken off the board before we could see how well he’d measure up to some of the younger warriors, but according to canon, Kliff survived at least 16 encounters with Justice.

He couldn’t seal the deal, but surviving against Justice that many times is too impressive not to give him a spot on this list. It’s not like Justice is the kind to spare a defeated foe out of respect. Kliff had to earn his survival time and time again.

9. KY KISKE

Ky Kiske has spent the entire series getting the short straw when compared to his rival and co-protagonist Sol. As Sol’s power keep creeping upwards and making him more and more OP with each new installment, Ky is just off to the side, feeling sorry for himself. He is still more than capable, but on paper, he just can’t hang with the likes of Sol and the other heavy hitters.

The epilogue for Guilty Gear Xrd suddenly shone a new light on Ky, though. Sol fought alongside Ky during the Crusades and saw what he was capable of. It looked nothing like the man he dueled with on multiple occasions across their adventures. Ky then admitted the truth: he had been holding back all this time because, while he may want to defeat Sol, he doesn’t want to kill him and those are two very different fighting strategies for him. Ky may not be some kind of nuclear option in battle, but if he truly wanted to, he could kill you 10 times before you hit the ground.

8. SLAYER

From his first appearance, Slayer made his mark as the retired assassin who was simply too strong for this shit. He’s more of an interested onlooker than a major player and usually only gets involved for the sake of his own amusement. With his otherworldly biology and centuries of experience, Slayer is rarely shown to be in any real peril. Even in defeat, he lies awake and bored, suggesting that he lost only because he allowed it.

It takes a while, but we do eventually get to see some measure of his potential. He’s casual about danger, but there are threats out there that could at the very least make him break a sweat. That’s basically the rest of this list.

7. BEDMAN

Bedman spends the first half of Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign- making his way through the rest of the roster. Depicted as an enigmatic being who fights his enemies both physically and mentally (and is near unstoppable on both fronts), Bedman not only overpowers series regulars, but is able to take on multiple opponents at once while still making them look like the underdogs.

The moment that truly shows how dangerous Bedman is when he comes across Slayer. At first, we get the idea that it’s a stalemate and that Slayer may be up against someone worthy of his effort. Then, sometime later, we see Bedman standing triumphantly over Slayer, Millia, and Venom, who all lie at his feet. And after that, he still keeps going, taking out Faust and Chipp while forcing Johnny to escape. Dude is scary.

6. PRESIDENT GABRIEL

Gabriel showed up in Potemkin’s ending, and since then Arc System Works has been playing up how incredible he is while never, ever putting him in a game! It’s outright maddening. Make him a DLC character or something. We’ve been waiting decades!

Read more

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By Gavin Jasper

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He’s a man Potemkin looks up to and confides in by the end of the first game. Then they introduce Slayer and tease tease this nigh-unbeatable immortal is Gabriel’s rival. It isn’t until Guilty Gear Xrd that it really becomes apparent how tough this guy is. After the story spent all this time building up Bedman, Gabriel completely clowns him like nobody’s business.

That’s what you get for killing that dog, you comatose asshole.

5. SOL BADGUY

Every now and then, fiction gives us a character so powerful that even trying to make them cease to exist does nothing. Blow up Darkseid with anti-matter, use magic to erase the Sentry, go back in time and destroy the MacGuffin that makes Apocalypse immortal, etc. They somehow just exist in spite of that. Sol is on that level. I-No once sent him back in time, had him kill his younger self, and Sol simply shrugged off the paradox. The dude is ridiculous.

Sol grows more powerful in each game and even then we’re told that he’s holding back. By the time the dust settles, he’ll probably be worthy of #1 post on the list, but right now, he’s just a high-ranking, angry fellow who’s important enough to be what the series’ bizarre title is named after.

4. JUSTICE

Despite being killed off in the first game, Justice is the constant source of dread in Guilty Gear’s story. Many of the games have revolved around the threat of Justice’s return, whether it’s getting her daughter to follow in her footsteps, cloning, or even resurrection. And yes, Justice is bad news because when she was active, she led a war against mankind that lasted 101 years. She only lost because she was sealed away.

After being released from her prison, Justice was eventually done in by Sol Badguy, the only Gear to predate her creation. It could be said that Sol took her out when she was weakened, but it could also be said that Sol was holding back.

Regardless, I’m going to rank Justice higher because of of her mental control over the entire Gear race, Sol excluded. Yeah, that’s a pretty major weapon to have in your back pocket, even if it doesn’t really come into play in a one-on-one fighting game. Sol was lucky to be in a situation where he could take her out before she could call in the reserves.

3. DIZZY

Dizzy makes me think of when someone is writing a Justice League story and has to come up with a reason for Superman to not be around, like he’s busy in space or off in another dimension. Dizzy isn’t the protagonist of Guilty Gear, but she is the daughter of two of the most powerful characters, and is mainly held back by plot contrivance and her attempts at pacifism. If she wanted to, she could wipe the floor with practically anyone, and there’s even an alternate reality (one where Ky died during the Crusades) that shows her embracing her potential and leading the Gears to victory against humanity.

Her so-called “Instant Kill” in Guilty Gear Xrd paints the best picture. Dizzy reluctantly fires a projectile that misses its mark, but leaves a horrifying mushroom cloud in the distance. Her freaked out opponents can only survey the damage, slowly turn to her, and surrender. Again, that’s what she’s capable of when holding back.

2. ASUKA R. KREUZ/THAT MAN

I can’t think of a more ambitious concept for a fighting game character than That Man. He’s alluded to in Sol Badguy’s ending in the first Guilty Gear game, making you imagine he’ll be the final boss of the next game or maybe the one after that. Instead, he makes mysterious appearances in the Guilty Gear X games. We never get a good look at him, but we see that he’s capable of easily slapping aside anyone who gets in his way. Then he pops up in Guilty Gear 2, including in a boss battle where Dragon Install Sol Badguy can’t even dent him. The Guilty Gear Xrd series gives him a little more dimension, finally revealing his true face and name.

Now it’s time for Guilty Gear Strive where maybe, just maybe, That Man will be DLC down the line. Maybe. Since the beginning, the series has been building to a climactic battle between Sol Badguy and Asuka R. Kreuz. As it is right now, That Man has proved to be higher on the food chain than his old scientist colleague, but that kind of uphill battle is expected.

1. ARIELS

Guilty Gear 2 and Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign- built up “Mother,” the force behind the Valentines and the one signing Bedman’s checks. At the end of -Sign-, we found out that the big mastermind is…a lady Pope possessed by a divine force. Sure, why not. Then in the next game, we got to see her go from putting on a professional and benevolent face for the public to going on a killing spree, painting her face like a juggalo, and ranting about how humanity is redundant and needs to be done away with.

Once again, Ariels would have made for a kickass final boss in Guilty Gear Xrd Revelator, but she remained part of story mode only. She was eventually taken down, but it took Sol Badguy, Ky Kiske, Sin Kiske, and That Man teaming up to do it. But as revealed in Guilty Gear Strive, she’s still alive!

What is your ranking of the most powerful Guilty Gear fighters? Let us know in the comments!

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[captainswanandclintasha]

Blowing out the steam

Summary: Set during 5x13. Zari needs to learn how to control the powers of the totem and John is there to encourage her. Mick just wants to see the world in flames. Nate is jealous. Zombies attack. Charlie is well... Charlie. And Sara clearly needs a break.

Notes: aka what I want to happen but will probably not happen.Maybe I lost my ability to write action scenes? I'll let you decide. I tried to make this is as good as possible. Also I really wanted to write about the promo pictures for tomorrow's episode. Which pictures? You know which pictures. The bus pictures... that scene in the promo with John protecting Zari from the zombies... I'll let you decide if this is actually any good!

Find me on AO3

Zombies was the last thing Zari expected to encounter when she decided to stay with the Legends and yet… after a hellhound, Marie Antoinette’s talking head and almost being killed by Jack the Ripper, zombies should be the last thing to surprise her. And truth be told, being the only mortal in a group of immortal friends (at least for the next the 20 more hours) and surrounded by zombies didn’t make her feel too comfortable.

Oh and Charlie’s crazy sisters stole their ship with Astra’s help and apparently Gary was still on the ship (probably hiding somewhere). The three bitches also decided to leave the Legends stuck in the middle of nowhere, miles away form London.

Oh and also? They were currently stuck in a bus that stopped working in the middle of the road, on the way to John’s house (still, close enough to it, according to him), with zombies everywhere around them.

Leaving out a sigh she’s been holding for some time, Zari looked around the small bus. Sara and Ava were at the front, working most likely on some kind of plan, Charlie was on one side of the bus, looking out the window, probably thinking about her sisters and how they were alone on the ship, with the Loom of Faith, while Mick was one the other side of the bus, playing with his firearm (secretly Zari was praying he won’t set them all on fire). Nate was in the seat across from Zari and she was pretty sure she caught him sneaking a few glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

She knew John was sitting a few seats behind her, but she didn’t know what he was doing exactly. Zari turned to take a look at him and almost started to laugh when she saw him sitting under a ‘Smoke Kills’ ad. Oh the irony. Unlike the others tho, John had his eyes closed, looking like he was meditating.

Probably feeling her watching him, John opened his eyes and looked at her. He didn’t moved not talked when he saw her looking at him, he was just sitting there, watching Zari watching him.

Feeling pulled towards him and his presence, Zari raised from her seat and went to sit in the empty seat in front of him. When he didn’t say anything, Zari broke the ice and without actually turning to face him but knowing he’ll hear her very well, she started to talk. “Were you meditating?”

“Gathering powers,” John answered from behind her.

“Oh. Okay then,” Zari opened her mouth to say something else but when the words didn’t come out she leaned back in the seat.

That’s when she felt John moving in the seat behind her and leaning forward, towards her seat.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered in her ear.

“Nothing,” Zari answered in a quiet voice.

“Come on, Z. You are way too quiet, even for a situation like this. There must be something,” John insisted from behind.

Zari turned in her seat and answered to him. “Yeah. I am the only mortal in a bus full of immortals and we are surrounded by zombies,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Don’t worry, love. We’ll protect you,” John said with honesty in his voice.

“And what happens if one of you can’t protect me anymore?”

John pointed to the bracelet where her family’s totem was kept. The same braceled Behrad used to wear, the one she was wearing when he died trying to protect her from Charlie’s stupid sister.

“You have the totem. You can use it, I’ve seen that better than anyone,” John said.

Zari shook her head. “I don’t even know how to do it? I don’t know how I did it the first time.”

“To control the totem you need to control your emotions and feelings. Try to remember how it felt back then, in London. What did you feel when you used it back then?”

“Fear?” Zari answered in a breath, because, among other feelings, that one was the most prominent feeling she had when she was thinking about that day. Between other things.

“Fear?”

Zari nodded at him. “Fear. For um...” Zari stopped herself. She remembers that moment, the fear she felt when Bonnie and Clyde almost tried kill her and John. And then again fear for John when she saw Bonnie wanting to shoot him from behind. But how could she tell him that half of the fear she felt that day, was because she was afraid for his own life? “Fear of not dying I guess,” she finally finished her sentence.

John looked at her like he understood what she was saying but also like he was understanding what she wanted to say but couldn’t.

“Fear can be a good stimulator,” he said taking in his hand the hand where the bracelet was and raising it, “but your power goes deeper than that. You have something in you that gives you the power to use the totem and defend yourself. You have a bigger power in you than you think,” he explained to her.

Zari looked at John. Really looked at him. He was honest with her, he was encouraging her to be the powerful woman she always knew she could be if given the chance. “You really think that?”

“I’m sure of that,” John said without hesitation. “And besides, you still have us all to look after you, when you need it,” he pointed out once again, with a small smile on his face.

“That makes me feel a bit better… But not entirely,” while finishing her sentence, she saw him frown, so she continued. “I mean, Sara is basically a God, she can protect herself anytime, Ava has Sara in case she needs help, Mick has his fire gun, Nate can turn into steel, Charlie has her powers, you have your magic. What do I have? A totem I’m not sure I can use when needed.”

“I’ll look after you,” John said with the most honesty that could come out of him. At his words and the sincerity in them, Zari raised her eyebrow in surprise. Seeing her face, John continued. “What? We made quite a good team in London.”

Remembering once again their adventure in time and what a good team they made (when they weren’t trying to kill each other), Zari smiled and then answered to him.“That we did, you are right.”

Zari saw John opening his mouth to say something more, but then he looked at the front of the bus and closed his mouth. Zari followed his eyes and saw Sara and Ava were standing in front of the bus.

“Okay everyone listen up,” Sara said raising her arms and making sure everyone was looking at her, “we need to get rid of these zombies and get our ship back.”

“Like I’ve told you before. We need to burn them,” Mick said with a grumpy voice from his seat.

“Yes, Mick, you’ll get to burn something,” Ava was the one who answered to him.

Sara continued to talk. “We are making 3 teams. Me, Ava and Charlie. Nate and Mick. Zari and John,” she said on a firm tone. “We separate, each of us going in a different direction and we fight our way out of this. We meet up at John’s house. Let’s all hope Astra can do something from the ship… and come get us,” a murmur started to hear from everyone in the bus, “Stop it. We don’t know what happened. I refuse to believe she betrayed us like that. I trust her this time. So get ready to kill some zombies.” “Wait who decided the teams?” Nate asked from his seat.

Sara looked in his direction with an eyebrow raised,“Um, what?”

“I’m just asking,” Nate said raising his shoulders and turning in his seat to take a look at Zari.

That’s when Zari, and everyone else in the bus, understood what Nate wasn’t happy with. Her teaming up with John. Zari rolled her eyes and heard John leaving out a deep sigh from behind her.

“Nate, she’s mortal, unlike us, and has zero fighting skills, unlike us. No offense, Zari,” Sara looked towards Zari and raised her hands in front of her as an apology to which Zari offered a quick ‘none taken’. It was the truth after all. “Zari needs to be with someone who can actually keep her safe and keep themselves safe at the same time. John’s the safest bet,” Sara finished.

“But-” Nate started to talk again but John stopped him by starting to talk, his voice hard from the back of the bus.

“No offense, mate. These hands can make fire come out of them,” John said raising his hands at the same time they started to glow.

Zari tried to hide her smile. She looked at Nate and saw him looking at her, trying to tell her something, probably begging her to back him up. “What?” Zari asked him with an eyebrow raised.“They are right, I trust John and his magic and you turn to steel, that doesn’t mean you can look after me and take care of yourself at the same time. This is better for everyone.”

With Zari’s words, Nate turned his attention back to Sara who was starting to get annoyed at everyone, “Anyone wanna add anything else?” she asked with an annoyed voice.

“Yeah,” Mick said and Zari saw Sara almost wanting to kill him on the spot. “When is the burning starting?” Mick asked, raising his gun.

Sara grinned at him, took her weapon and answered a, ‘right now’. After that Zari watched Sara, Ava and Charlie getting out of the bus and starting to fight the zombies that were already at the door. Mick and Nate followed the girls and as soon as they step foot on the ground, Nate turned into steel and started to punch and fight the zombies, while Mick started to burn everything in his way.

Zari and John approached the bus’ door and before getting out, John looked at Zari. “Stay with me, okay?” he warned her.

“I don’t plan to run on my own into a zombie apocalypse,” Zari told him, getting behind him to allow him to get out of the bus first.

“Good.”

And with that John Constantine got out of the bus with Zari close behind him. She saw the others were already a few feet away from the bus, still fighting the zombies, but running towards the direction of John’s house. Zari and John started to run on their steps, trying to get as far away from the bus as possible. Yet, even with John’s powers and his spells, the zombies were still coming in fast after them.

At one point during their running, Zari was so focused on running and keeping close to John that she didn’t see the zombie coming in her direction until it was inches away from her. In that moment she screamed out John’s name and jumped back of the zombie’s way. John turned towards her, saw the zombie coming closer to her and then he jumped in between Zari and the zombie, hands on fire, catching the zombie’s head John hold him still and set it on fire.

From behind John, Zari saw more zombies coming their way. She pat him on the shoulder to get his attention away from the zombie he just burned and when John turned to look at her he saw the crown coming faster towards them. John let out a curse and opened a portal to hell, sending as many zombies into it as he could.

“Run” he said, turning back to Zari.

She started to run with him again, putting a semnificative distance between them and the bus. She continued to run being sure John was close behind her when she heard a yell from behind. She stopped from running and turned around just in time to see John pushed on the ground, attacked by a group of zombies.

Zari knew she couldn’t let him die and did the first thing that came to her mind. She raised her hand, took a deep breath and tried to channel the power from the totem. When nothing came out, she tried again, this time closing her eyes and trying to remember what John taught her earlier in the bus. It was all about controlling her feelings and emotions. With her eyes still closed, she took a few more breaths to calm her herself and then tried to use her powers again. This time, a whirlwind came out of her hand. It was so powerful that it shocked her, pushing her a few steps back, but also powerful enough to make the zombies fly away from John.

She run towards him and helped him raise on his feet again.

“Are you okay?” she asked worried.

“You bloody did it,” was everything he said, completely ignoring her question and looking at her in awe.

Zari nooded at him. “Now what?” she asked.

“We run like hell,” John said taking her hand in his and starting to run again towards the house.

This time tho, when zombies were coming close to them, John wasn’t the only one who was fighting them. She was using her powers as well, making whirlwinds coming out of both of her hands now and keeping the zombies away from them.

After what felt like hours of running and stopping to fight the zombies side by side with John, they finally made it close to his house. That’s where they saw a group of zombies at the entrance, scratching the walls of the house, trying to get inside and blocking their way in.

Zari got ready to blow them away with her powers when she heard a ‘burn!’ coming from the distance and saw Mick and Nate running towards her and John. Mick set the zombies on fire and the four of them run inside the house, blocking the door on their way in with everything they were able to find in their way.

Sara, Ava and Charlie were already inside, painting from the running and fighting. Zari saw Sara covered in dirt and Ava already having a few bruises on her face, but other than that the three of them were alright.

“Are you alright?” Nate asked Zari, coming besides her.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Had John and this,” she said raising her hand and pointing to the totem.

“You used it?” Nate asked looking shocked at her.

“Yes,” Zari said, suddenly being hit with the realisation that she used the powers of the totem again, and not only did she control them perfectly but she also fought actual zombies and protected herself. And John. “I really used it,” Zari said with a big smile on her face.

“Bloody amazing she was,” John added from behind her.

“Alright everyone, we should be safe in here,” Sara said to the group. Take a few minutes, make sure you are all alright. We’ll try to contact Gideon. Or Gary. Or Astra. Anyone.”

Following Sara’s words and being thankful for the few minutes they got, everyone went to different places of the house, to brush off the fighting they just went through. She saw John going up the stairs and quickly followed him. She followed him upstairs and saw that he entered in one of the rooms and then closed the door behind him.

She thought about it for a second, if she should follow him inside or not but in the end she went for it. Getting at the door, she knocked and without waiting for an answer from the other side, she opened the door.

John was on the opposite side of the room, taking off the shirt that was now dirty from the fight. Zari didn’t expect to see him so many tattoos on his back and arms, but they were there and strangely, they made him look even hotter. There were scars as well and new bruises from the fight from earlier no doubt.

“Usually one waits until they are invited in a room,” John said without turning to look at her.

“You are hurt,” she said from the doorframe.

“I’m still immortal,” he answered to her, making her a sign to come inside. She did so and from instinct she closed the door behind her as well. “Anything you wanted to talk about?” John asked her when he saw she wasn’t going to say anything.

“I wanted to thank you for earlier.”

“No need to thank me. You did most of the work,” John said putting on a new shirt and tying up most of the buttons with the exception of the last three. Enough to let his chest visible to her.

“You did too and besides, you encouraged me to use my powers.”

“It was nothing,” John said softly.

“Can’t you take some gratitude like a normal person?” Zari asked laughing.

“Sorry,” John said laughing as well. “Try again if you want.”

“Thank you for encouraging me today to use the totem and find that power in me,” Zari said getting closer to him.

“You are very welcome, love,” John said continuing to smile at her. “You really were bloody amazing today,” he said stepping forward towards her.

They were way too close and Zari knew it wasn’t the moment to act on any feelings she might or might not have for him. And yet, she couldn't bring it in her to step away because there was something pulling her towards him more and more every time they seem to find themselves together in a situation. And this started to happen quite often, she observed.

Still, somehow, she found the power to take a step back. Maybe she would have left the room, and him, in that moment, if he wouldn’t have stopped her by taking her hand in his and looking intently into her eyes as if he wanted to tell her something. The last time they were this close, they almost kissed and every day since then was a battle of push and pull, one step forward and two steps back.

She knew John was not going to do anything unless she asked for it. She knew she was holding the power of whatever was going to happen next. She could’ve let go of his hand and walk away. She could’ve tell him now was not the time for anything. The team was downstairs trying to find a way to get back on ship. Behrad was still dead. Astra was still with her sisters. It really wasn’t the time to do anything.

And yet she couldn’t shake away the feeling of ‘what if’. What if they would kiss right there and then? Would it feel the same way it felt when they were pretending to be Romeo and Juliet? Would it be better than that?

She looked at him, her eyes moving quickly from his eyes to her mouth and back to his eyes. And she saw he was doing the same, looking at her eyes and then at her mouth.

So Zari finally made a decision.

She put her free hand on his chest, her fingers tucked under his open shirt and then she pulled him towards her. Their lips met easily in the kiss, as if they were supposed to fit so well together since the beginning.

Knowing John, the softness of the kiss was unexpected for Zari, so unexpected that it made her take a step back out in surprise but as soon as she realised she was getting away from him, she pulled herself closer to him again and pressed her lips even harder on his. She felt John letting go of her hand and instead putting one arm around her back while his other free hand went into her hair, pulling her even closer if that was possible. One of Zari’s free hands went to the back of his neck, playing with his hair, while the hand she had on his shirt earlier, moved across his shirt and eventually rest on his shoulder.

He pressed his lips on hers harder and Zari felt her mouth opening out of instinct, to deepen the kiss even more. She let out a moan at the feeling of the kiss growing in intensity.

They continued to kiss for what felt like minutes, lost in each other and the feelings she, at least, tried to put away for some time now, until they were left without air in their lungs.

When they finally separated, they pressed their foreheads together and stayed like that, swimming in the feelings of the kiss.

“That was… Unexpected,” Zari let out, her breath dying on her lips.

“That’s nicely put, Z,” John completed with a smile on his face.

“John we need to get to Gary!” Charlie’s voice was heard from outside the room, close to the door.

Zari and John untangled themselves as fast as they could, but not fast enough, since Charlie opened the door just in time to see the two of them stepping away from each other, still looking like a total mess. Charlie looked at Zari in shock at first and then amusement at the mess her hair was, realising immediately what she interrupted. Zari looked at Charlie, pleading with her eyes to shut up but always the teaser Charlie started to laugh at the image in front of her.

“Wow, you guys,” Charlie said between laughs, “this is really horny coming from you two.”

Zari widened her eyes in shock “Charlie shut up,” she told her friend in a hush.

“Oy, Johny! Didn’t thought you have it in you!” Charlie continued to tease John.

John let out a sound under his breath that sounded a lot like a curse and then started to talk to Charlie with an annoyed and raspy voice. “You said something about Gary?”

“What is it taking so long?” Sara’s voice carried to the room from the first floor.

“Coming!” Charlie yelled back. “You two love birds are coming? We have more important things to do,” Charlie told Zari and John, pointing to the door.

Josh arranged his shirt and with a wink at the two of them left the room to go assist Sara and the other downstairs.

“Charlie,” Zari started looking at her friend, “no words of this.”

“You won’t hear anything from me, love, but you two have been gone for some time. Luckily no one thought of suggesting you two might be together in John’s room,” Charlie said with a smile and a wicked wink.

“Okay, okay, let’s go join the others,” Zari said, no longer wanting to be teased by her friend. “Come on!”

“Zari wait!” Charlie yelled after her when she was already out of the room.

Charlie joined her in the hallway, put a hand around her friend and then they both started to walk towards the stairs leading to the first floor. At the middle of the stairs tho, Charlie stopped, stopping Zari as well. The two women looked at each other and then, with a devilish smile, Charlie dropped the question on Zari.

“Was he good?”

Zari almost tripped down the stairs leading in the main hallway.

_____________________________

Okay so. First of all, thank you all for taking the time to look at my other fic and messaging me on Tumblr or in here! It means the world to me.

Second of all... the scene at the end... When Charlie comes in, should've been Sara and her words, at saying John and Zari wouldn't been "I don't even want to know!" BUT I realised that would be a bit harder with Sara's condition, as impressive as she is when fighting. So I went with Charlie because I was able to add in a bit of fun.

I hope you enjoyed this!

[foreverwayward]

“Wayward Hearts” Season 3 Chapter 11: Time is On My Side

Summary: After the Devil’s Gate had been opened that fateful night in the graveyard, the hunters are forced to face a new war. Countless demons now run rampant, hungry for blood and power. It’ll take everything the three have to survive when darkness once again knocks on their door. But, with only a year before Dean’s deal comes due, Sam and Riley will stop at nothing to save him; to save their family.

Masterlist

Word Count: 7415

Content Warning: language and violence

DISCLAIMER: any words or phrases in bold in the story are not my own and are credited to the writers of Supernatural.

**GIFS ARE NOT MY OWN**

In an abandoned cabin, hidden away from the world, the fireplace roared. Its light danced across the walls and was the only illumination in the room, keeping the darkness outside at bay.

Screams of suffering went unheard as a demon cried out in agony. The possessed man was strapped to a chair in the center of a devil’s trap as holy water was thrown into his face. His flesh sizzled and steam seeped from the vessel’s skin and faded into the air.

Sam, Dean, and Riley stood in front of him unmoved. The hunters were going to get answers with the clock running out for Dean. As they had run out of ideas, they interrogated a lower level demon.

“You ready to talk?” Dean shouted into the creature’s burning face.

“I don't fucking know!” It thrashed against its restraints. “I don't know anything!”

With a mocking expression, he turned to his partners. “Oh, you hear that, guys? He doesn't know anything.”

Sam smirked as he replied, “yeah, I heard.”

“I'm telling you the truth!” it cried.

With a wry laugh and condescending smile, Riley took large strides to have herself eye to eye with the demon. “You guys,” she feigned. “He says he’s telling the truth. I guess we owe him an apology.”

“You’re so right, Rye.” Dean grabbed the monster’s face and forced holy water into its mouth before it garbled a deafening cry, “I'm gonna ask you one last time...who holds my fucking contract?!”

The demon went quiet, his head hanging in defeat. When he looked up, his eyes were an evil black as he smiled at the three. “Your mother. Yeah, she, uh--showed it to me right before I bent her over and fucked her ‘til she screamed.”

Riley took a step back as Dean moved into her spot and leaned in. “I want a name. Or else…”

“Or what? You're gonna squirt your holy water in both ends? Please. Brother, that's like a flea bite compared to what's coming to me if I tell you jack. Do what you want, the only thing I'm scared of is the demon holding your ticket.”

With a nod from Dean, Sam began to recite an exorcism. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundusspiritus, omnis satanicapotestas, omnis incursioinfernalisadversarii…”

“Go ahead, send me back to Hell. 'Cause when you get there, I'll be waiting for you...with a few pals who are dying for a nice little meet and greet with Dean Winchester.” The demon grew a sinister grin on his face and laughed.

“Should I?” Sam asked as he paused the ritual.

Listening intently to whatever might still remain inside the vessel, Riley sighed. “The guy he’s got locked in there didn’t make it. Get this evil son of a bitch out of here.”

“Okay,” Dean agreed. “Sam, send him someplace he can't hurt anyone else.”

“...omnis legio, omnis congregatio et sectadiabolica.” As Sam continued, the unholy shrieks of pain ripped from the demon, echoing into the night and going completely unheard.

------

Sam sat alone in the cabin’s main room as he made several phone calls. He was just like his brother, whenever he had sniffed out a possible case, Sam was like a dog with a bone.

Dirty and sweating, Dean came in as he wiped his brow and huffed in exhaustion.

As the younger brother ended his call, he sat down on a chair close behind him. “Bury the body?”

“Yeah. Looks like these demons ride 'em hard just for kicks these days.” Dean grabbed a beer from their cooler and popped it open. Taking a large swig, he crashed tiredly onto a beat-up couch.

The front door closed and Riley walked in with bags of takeout. She tossed the Impala’s keys over to Dean as she went to a nearby tabletop with their spoils. “Who’s hungry?”

“Oh, I’m fuckin’ starving. Waddya got?” Dean asked. Riley pulled out a wrapped burger from the bags and smirked as he grew excited. “If I haven’t told you yet today, I love you.” 

Riley tossed the warm food to Dean he quickly unwrapped it. He moaned happily as he took a large bite.

Sam chuckled. “Should we leave you and your cheeseburger alone?”

“Hey, I think I could show this burger a good time.” Filling his mouth again, Dean watched Riley as she grabbed her own beer. She had found a large and worn cushion tossed to the side and sat cross-legged as she readied to eat her own meal. “What? You too good to sit next to me now?” he teased.

“Mm-mm,” Riley started with a mouthful. “You just kinda fucking stink right now.”

He paused dramatically. “That hurts my feelings.”

“Well, you’re hurting my nose.” She laughed to herself and took another bite. “So, what’d I miss?”

“Uh…” As Sam leaned back into his chair, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets. “Not much. I was just about to tell Dean I think I found us a case.”

Riley appeared taken aback. “A case? Sam, we’re already on a case.”

“What? Whose?”

“Uh--Dean’s,” she answered incredulously. “We’re down to three weeks, Sam--three weeks.”

“Well, do you have a lead on Richard, or the Colt, or anything that can help us?”

She tensed as she downed more of the cold drink. Riley’s head fell as the bottle sat between her two hands, fiddling with it. “You know I don’t.”

Dean had remained silent as the two talked and he knew Riley was right. Time was not a luxury they had, but Sam wasn’t wrong. With nothing to go on, the hunters were left with countless questions and no answers.

As Dean’s phone rang, he dug into his pocket to pull it out. He looked at the caller ID before flipping it open. “Bobby.” Dean put the call on speaker and held it out for everyone to hear.

“Hey,” their old friend replied. “Think I finally got a lead on Richard.”

“I'm listening.”

“Rufus Turner.”

Sam, Dean, and Riley shrugged at each other not knowing the name. “Who's that? Like a Cleveland steamer?”

“He's a hunter, or he used to be. He’s practically a hermit now--does a little selling on the side. Anyway, I put the word out on Richard months ago. Rufus just called, said a guy got in touch, wanted to buy some things.”

“And he thinks it's Dick?”

“Stuffy British accent went by the name Charles Gardner.”

“He’s used that before. Well, it's kind of a sloppy move, isn't it--getting in contact with one of your old friends?”

“Friend? Haven't laid eyes on him in fifteen damn years. He's not the Christmas card type. I doubt he knows I know him. Canaan, Vermont.”

Riley called out from across the room. “You’re the best, Bobby!”

“One other thing. Take a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue.”

Slightly confused, Dean answered, “okay.” He hung up his phone and turned to the others. 

“Come on. We’re going Dick hunting.” Dean stopped, almost appalled by what he had said. “Pretend I didn’t say that.”

“It’s for the best,” Riley retorted with a look of disgust as she got up to gather her things.

“What?” Sam appeared perplexed and his brow scrunched. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second.”

Dean grabbed his bag and turned down the fire that was still ablaze. “Come on. Get your stuff. The clock's ticking.”

“Look, I think we should check out the lead I have on this other case.”

“You insane?” Dean snarked as he turned back to his brother.

“Dean, there's no way he still has the Colt! That was months ago! He probably sold it the second he got it.”

“Well, then I'll kill the bastard. Win-win.”

As Riley threw their bag over her shoulder, she shrugged carelessly. “All in all, wouldn’t be a wasted trip.”

Sam sighed in exasperation. “Dean…”

“Sam,” his brother barked. “We're going!”

“No!”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because I may have found a way to save you!”

Dean’s eyes widened and his voice softened as Riley spun to look at Sam as well. “What? What are you talking about?”

“This case? I’m pretty sure it’s from Doc Benton...real-life doctor, lived in New Hampshire in the nineteenth century--brilliant and obsessed with alchemy, especially how to live forever. So, in 1816, Doc abandons his practice and…”

Riley stared back at him, puzzled. “Sam, what the hell are you talking about?”

“...and nobody hears from him for like 20 years, and all of sudden, people start showing up dead--or missing an organ, or a hand, or some other kind of part. The legend is that whatever he did to himself was actually working to keep him alive.”

“Wait, a minute…” Dean started. “Why does this sound familiar?”

“Because you heard about it when we were kids. Dad hunted this guy down and cut out his heart. Apparently, that didn’t quite do it. But, Dean, this--this is what's gonna save you.” There was nothing disingenuous about Sam’s plan. He truly believed that following the case would finally lead them to answers.

Dean’s brow hooked and he shared a look of disbelief. “What? Chasing some Frankenstein?”

“Chasing immortality.” Sam’s words had both of his partners staring back at him, startled at the idea. “Look, Benton can't die. We find out how he did it, we can do it to you. I mean, you have to die before you go to Hell, right? So, if you can never die, then…”

“Sam, stop!” Dean shouted angrily and the room went still. “You’re not helping! You forget that if I try to welch out on this deal, Riley dies. Guess what? Living forever--is welching.”

“Fine! Then, whatever the magic pill is, we’ll take it too!”

Riley could feel Sam’s sincerity and she leaned her face into her hand as she rubbed her temples. “Look, Sam...I know you wanna save Dean just as much as I do. But I think Bobby’s right. If we hunt down the demon that has Dean’s one-way ticket, then maybe we can stop it. I really think it’s gonna be our best shot.”

“Say you find the Colt, then what? None of us even know who holds the contract.”

Raising his voice again as he felt his frustration grow, Dean bit back at him. “Well, I'll shoot the goddamn hellhounds then before they slash me up. Now, you coming or not?””

“I'm staying here,” Sam said quietly, certain of his decision.

“No, you're not. 'Cause I'm not gonna let you wander out alone to find some organ-stealing freak.”

“You're not gonna let me? How are you gonna stop me?” As Sam went on, Dean appeared taken back again. “Look, man, we're trying to do the same thing here.”

“I know, but I'm going. So, if you wanna stay...stay.” Dean shook his head when Sam didn’t answer. He shrugged and took the duffel from Riley before hanging it on his shoulder. 

“Come on,” he told her as they both went for the door. Sam didn’t move but they both hesitated before turning back to him. “Sammy, be careful.”

“You too.” He and Dean stared at each other for a long moment before Dean reached out for the doorknob and walked outside.

Riley’s eyes still sat on her brother lovingly. “I know you wanna save him, Sammy. You do what you think is right.”

As Riley left, closing the door behind her, Sam let out a long and drug out sigh.

------

After driving through the night, the Chevy rolled to a stop in front of an older home on a quiet suburban street. Its colors were tacky with a mix of dark red and light green. Angled tall steps led up to an elevated porch with massive weeds lined around it.

Riley and Dean shut their doors behind them as they headed up the walkway. As they reached the porch, they saw a handwritten sign that read: ‘No solicitors. That means you! No asking for directions. No selling ANYTHING!’

Under her breath, Riley muttered, “well, Rufus just sounds like a breath of fresh air.”

Dean chuckled as he rang the buzzer and banged on the metal security door. The hunters both turned to a sound and looked up to see a camera moving to focus in on them.

“What?” a harsh voice barked over the intercom.

Dean cleared his throat. “Hi, uh--Rufus?”

“Yeah...even if I am, the question is still the same. What?”

“Uh--I'm Dean Winchester. We’re friends of Bobby Singer's.”

“So?”

Riley shrugged as the two shared a look. “Hi, Rufus. I’m, uh--Riley Munroe. Listen, we heard from Bobby that the guy we’re looking for made contact with you. He’s British…”

“And so?”

“So...do you know where he is?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. Would you please tell us where we can find him?”

“No.”

“’Course not,” Dean muttered under his breath. “Look, Rufus, man…”

The two doors quickly flung open as an irritated man stood in the doorway. He was roughly Bobby’s age with dark skin, a full mustache, and short hair. 

With the cereal bowl he was still working on in his hand, he studied the couple. “Look, let me point something out to you. You are knocking at my goddamn door, so don't ‘look, man’ me. I'm not your man.”

Realizing he may have stepped in it, Dean apologized with a nervous smile. “I'm sorry, sir.”

“Alright, let me tell you a little story. See, once upon a time, Bobby called me--asked me to call him if I got a whiff of this Richard Lewis. I got a whiff, I called, the end.”

“Okay, yeah, if you could just tell me where he is, I mean, that would be great.”

Rufus stopped as he stared back at the young hunter. “Dean Winchester, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Dean, do I look like I'm here to help you?”

“I'm gonna say...no?”

“Then get the fuck off my property.”

Riley tried to regain the man’s attention as he began to head back inside. “Listen, that’s totally fair. But, uh--” she reached into the bag on Dean’s shoulder and pulled out a tall box with the Johnny Walker label. “We have this scotch, and, uh--we weren’t sure if it was any good.”

As Rufus eyed the bottle of his favorite scotch, he looked back at the couple and smiled with a nod of approval.

------

Inside Rufus’ home, the three sat at his collapsible card table as they each nursed a glass of Johnny Walker. The bottle was already nearly empty as they finished pouring another round.

“Bottoms up,” Dean said gruffly as they all clinked their glasses together with a soft chuckle from Rufus.

“You know, I don't even bother drinking unless it's this stuff. Nectar of the Gods, I'm telling you.”

“Mm…” Riley started as she seethed through her next sip. “I’m enjoying the change. Most of Dean’s whiskey tends to come in the form of a plastic jug.” As she shot him a look, the three hunters laughed. “Alright, so back to business. Richard was here…”

“He wanted to buy a couple of things, which is gonna take me some time to round up.”

Anxious for answers, Dean jumped into the conversation. “Where is he now?”

Rufus watched Dean closely for a moment and Riley could feel his skepticism. “You got three weeks left. Why are you wasting your time chasing after that English asshat in a suit?”

Now suspicious of Rufus, the couple shared a glance. “How do you know about that?”

“Because I know things.” The older man leaned in intensely. “I know a lot of things about a lot of people. And I know ain't no goddamn peashooter gonna save you.”

Riley and Dean grew more anxious as they continued to drink, desperate to calm their nerves. “What makes you so sure?” Dean questioned coolly.

“‘Cause that's the job, kid. Even if you manage to scrape out of this one, there's just gonna be something else down the road. Folks like us...there ain't no happy ending. We all got it coming.”

“Well, ain't you a bucket of sunshine?”

The room went quiet and Riley couldn’t contain the hold her abilities had on her. Her constant state of anxiety had made it nearly impossible to control her gifts and the thoughts of others had her feeling like she was drowning.

Knowing she needed a minute to calm down, Riley tossed back the last of her drink. “Rufus, you mind if I, uh--use your bathroom?”

Without a word, he motioned toward the hallway as if telling her to find her own way. Riley nodded gratefully and walked away trying to contain her urge to cry.

Rufus and Dean refocused on each other and the older hunter shook his head softly. “It was a mistake getting so close to someone the way you are with her.”

Dean thought to himself as the corner of his lip barely curled up in a gentle smile. “Nothing with Riley has been a mistake, that much I can tell you.”

“Even selling your soul for her?”

“...I’d have given more to get her back if I had to.”

With a scoff and chortle of disbelief, Rufus poured more scotch into his glass. “Love has got you by the balls, boy. It’s gonna end up costing you everything.”

“Well,” Dean replied as he swirled the liquid in his hand. “Some things are worth everything.”

“It’ll never work out with her. I'm what you've got to look forward to if you survive.” Rufus smirked as he raised his glass to Dean once more. “But you won't.”

Riley’s back leaned into the wall as she listened in. Her eyes were shut and a tear freed itself to run down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and straightened herself up before walking back in to join the others. 

As she sat down, Riley ran a hand through her hair and exhaled a hard breath. “So, Richard…”

Clearly quite drunk, Rufus began to slur his words; his eyes looked heavy and tired. “Hotel Canaan. Room 39. But watch your back.”

“I’m not worried about it. We can handle Richard.”

“Oh, don't be so sure about that. There are things that you don't know about him.”

“And I’m assuming that’s because you ‘know things’.”

With a look of superiority, Rufus took another sip. “Yep.” Riley and Dean waited as the older hunter took his time and drug on. “Lifted his prints, he burnt them off. Probably years ago.”

Dean nodded, not surprised with what Rufus had told them. “Yeah, so you're right where we are.”

“Nope.” Again, he stopped the pace of the conversation and waited before going on. “You do his ear?”

“...Sorry?” Dean asked, wondering if he had heard him correctly.

“You do his ear?”

“Hey, man, I'll try anything once, but I don't know. That sounds uncomfortable. I mean, to be honest, he’s not really my type either.”

“Ears are as unique to humans as fingerprints.”

“No kidding.”

“Of course, that don't fly in the courts over here, but in England, they're all over it. A friend of a friend...of a friend, faxed me ten pages of confidential files within a day. All I had to send him was one clean shot off the security camera.” Rufus stood from his seat and walked across the room to his cluttered desk. He grabbed a thick folder stuffed with paperwork and handed it to Dean. “The so-called Richard Lewis.”

------

Crickets chirped loudly through the woods as Sam pushed open an old and squeaky door to a lost cabin in the Pennsylvania forest. 

Armed with his flashlight and desperate for answers, the large hunter stepped inside. He closed the door behind him and peered around the main room. Dust filled the air and danced in front of his light. It smelled of dampness and worn wood; curtains torn to shreds still barely clutching to the windows.

Sam walked through the room examining everything that caught his eye. He flipped through pages of antique books he found lying around and crouched to rifle through the small drawers of a desk. When he found nothing, he stood back up only to notice a leather journal with a strange symbol carved into the front. 

Knowing he needed to be in and out as quickly as possible, Sam tucked the book into his jacket and moved on.

A large door sat prominently in the middle of the floor. Sam gripped the metal handle and lifted it open as its rusted hinges screeched. Steep steps disappeared into the darkness below him and they creaked under the hunter’s weight as he slowly descended into the cellar.

Cobwebs hung from anything they could cling to and twinkled in the beam of the flashlight. It then bounced off what appeared to be a work station of sorts. Glass bottles, assorted tools, and other odds and ends for Sam thought to be for dissection lined the wooden countertops. Shelves were stuffed to the brim with medical antiquity jars filled with disgusting fluids and papers strung about the walls.

As Sam worked through the dark room, his light landed on a man’s body lying on an old operating table. He moved closer and reached out a hand to check the stranger’s pulse only to feel the cold touch of the man’s skin. How long he had been dead was unclear, but his body was clearly opened and sewn back together before it was crudely covered in a blood-stained sheet.

The sound of gentle tapping caught Sam’s attention and he turned in its direction. It was coming from behind tattered curtains tucked away in the back. He eased his way closer trying to remain as quiet as possible to get a closer look.

Once inside, he found a woman strapped to another operating table. She was a young and beautiful brunette in a white top and blue jeans. Her arms had been stretched out beside her where pieces of skin had been removed. A collection of maggots crawled across the open wounds as the girl remained unconscious.

As Sam leaned in to place his fingers on the pulse point of her neck, the woman gasped and her eyes sprung open. 

Violently startled by the girl’s immediate awakening, Sam jumped.

The desperate and terrified woman whimpered and cried as she came to, shaking and fighting against her restraints.

“Shh! Shh! Shh!” Sam repeated softly as he tried to comfort her. “It's okay. I'm here to help you. I'm here to help you. I'm gonna help you.” 

With a swift glance around him, the hunter found a large sheet and began to wrap the destroyed flesh on her arms. She sobbed as his touch reminded her of the blinding pain. 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” He continued to shush her as he gingerly tended to her wounds.

The sound of a creaking door opening echoed through the house and the woman’s heart began to race out of control. She tried with all she had to stay silent only for her fear took over as she mewled soft but high pitched squeals.

With no other option, Sam covered the girl’s mouth. 

As they looked up, a shadow blocked the light out as shoes stomped across the wooden boards. Dust fell at their movement and fluttered down onto them. Sam kept his hand in place to silence the weeping woman while his free hand moved swiftly to free her.

A small window of the cellar caught Sam’s eye and he carried the wounded woman to the wall before lifting her up and out. He softly grunted as he scrambled up behind her and picked her up into his arms once again. 

Sam rushed through the woods back to his rental car as the trembling girl clung around his neck.

Once at the car, he placed her in the passenger seat as she groaned in pain. Sam ran around to the driver’s set and pulled the door closed behind him in a hurry.

As he turned the ignition, the car sprung to life. But before he could shift into gear, the glass beside him shattered as the cold hand of Doc Benton reached out for him. 

The girl began to scream and backed herself into her side of the car as she shook.

The doctor looked like something out of an old horror movie. His complexion was practically grey with hair that gave the same hue. There were stitches across his face where pieces of skin had been strung together to recreate his face; wrinkles of the dead tissue were prominently indented. The trail of sutures traveled down his neck and underneath his 19th century tattered clothing. His eyes were dead, with one nearly completely white with an expressionless appearance. Doc Benton was a perfect blend of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster.

Benton took hold of Sam’s head and his fingers laced into his hair before slamming him against the wheel multiple times. 

As he fought off the decrepit man, Sam wildly shifted into reverse and slammed on the gas pedal. The car roared backward as the doctor tried to hold on before he was flipped onto the hood of the car. He rolled off and hit the dirt ground with Sam’s headlights fixated on him.

Once he doctor began to pull himself up, Sam stared him down as he met Benton’s dead eyes. He threw the car into drive with his teeth gritted and rammed into the creature. 

The doc was pulled underneath the small SUV and was crushed by the weight of the wheels. His body made an audible crunching sound as the vehicle bumped over him before Sam sped away with the rescued woman down the dirt road.

Unmoved by the events, Doc Benton stood to his feet once again. His neck was snapped, his head hanging at an obscene angle. 

The doctor watched the car disappear into the night as he effortlessly snapped his spine back into place.

------

The hotel door opened to a dark room with the hall light barely able to illuminate inside. Richard stepped in as he closed it behind him and pocketed his keys.

Before he was able to turn around, he was charged at from the darkness and pinned to the wall. There stood a wrathful Dean Winchester with his arm against his throat, his gun pointed at Richard’s face.

“Where's the Colt?” Dean snarled.

Trying to appear calm even as he was threatened, Lewis calmly replied, “Dean. Good to see you, old friend.”

“No extra words.”

“It's long gone, across the world by now.”

“You're lying.” Grabbing the briefcase in Richard’s hand, Dean tossed it onto the bed.

“I'll call the buyer. Speak Farsi?” 

From the shadows, Riley sauntered toward the two with her gun aimed and ready. 

“Riley, so good to see you.” As Lewis’ words were spoken, Dean leaned his weight into his throat, causing him to choke ever so slightly.

“Dean…” When he looked over to her, Riley nodded for him to step away. She walked to Richard still standing at the wall as he rubbed the tender muscles at his neck. Her eyes met his and she grabbed his jacket pulling him close.

Richard chuckled under his breath with a look of excitement. “Ooh, there’s the firecracker I remember…”

Quickly frisking him to check for a weapon, Riley took hold of the gun she had found on his waist and held it up. 

“Don’t fuckin’ flatter yourself.” She reached across him and flicked on the lights as Dean went to search the briefcase. “Don’t...move…” Riley seethed as she backed away to aid her boyfriend, leaving Richard standing against the wall.

“I told you I don't have it.”

“Oh, yeah,” Dean snarked. “I'm definitely gonna take your word for it.” He turned his back and dumped the contents of the case onto the bed coming up empty-handed. 

Riley rifled through the drawers as Richard slid along the wall toward the door. 

As he turned to his partner, Dean scratched his nose signaling for Riley to listen. “This shitbag telling the truth?”

All she could do was shrug before speaking back to him telepathically. “I can’t tell. I can’t get in his head. He’s scared as hell, I can tell you that much.”

“Good. He fuckin’ should be.” 

When Richard tried to inch away, a gunshot was fired and Lewis grunted at the shock of the bullet missing his head by inches, going clear through the door. He froze and looked back at Dean who stood with his gun still aimed. The hunter was serious with his threats and Richard knew it. 

“Don't fuckin’ move.”

Lewis’ breath had quickened and his brow creased with anger. “It's gone. Get on a plane if you must. Track down the buyer--you might catch up to him eventually.” 

While Riley bounced her attention back and forth between Richard and her search for the Colt, she watched as Dean marched toward him aggressively. Once in front of Lewis, Dean pointed his weapon to his rival’s forehead and his face twitched with wrath. 

Twitching a little with nerves, Richard asked, “Are you going to kill me?”

“Oh, yeah,” Dean answered with a coy smile.

“You're not the cold-blooded type.”

“You mean like you? That's true. See, I couldn't imagine killing my parents.”

Flabbergasted, but attempting to regather himself, Richard kept his face deadpanned. “I don't know what you're talking--”

“Yes, you do,” Dean interrupted firmly. “You were, what, 17? Folks died in some shady car accident. Police suspected a slashed brake line, but it was all too crispy to tell. Cut to little Richard--oh, I'm sorry, David...inheriting millions.”

Riley looked Richard in the eyes, seeing how taken back he was. “That’s your real name, isn’t it? David?”

With a sigh of defeat, Richard conceded. “How did you even…”

“Doesn’t really matter, does it?” 

Grabbing Richard’s hand in an attempt to connect and read his thoughts, Riley was suddenly met with flashes of memories. It was like watching a movie in fast-forward. She saw moments in time of Richard’s childhood and the unending bruises, cuts, and broken bones through the years. 

One moment in particular slowed down as a teenage Lewis laid helpless on the floor, crying and shaking after taking a terrible beating. His father’s footsteps retreated out of the room leaving Richard alone in agony.

As Riley released her hold on him, she was thrust back into the present and blinked rapidly trying to regain her composure. Richard glared at her skeptically, unsure of what had just happened. “They hurt you, didn’t they?”

“What?”

“You made a deal to be free of them--to be free of what you’d been put through your entire life.” 

The emotions in Richard shifted and Riley could feel it all. His hard swallow of pain rang through her no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

With a tone Riley had never heard before, Richard’s voice went softer. “You don’t know anything about it. They were lovely people, and I killed them--and I got rich. I can't be bothered to give a damn. Just like I don't care what happens to your Neanderthal boyfriend.”

Again, Dean pushed him roughly against the door with his arm shoved into his throat as the hunter’s jaw clenched. He stared Lewis down for a long and tense minute before growling, “you make me fuckin’ sick.”

“Likewise, Winchester.”

Dean took a step back and held up his gun with a smirk. There was no doubt that Dean wanted the man dead and Richard closed his eyes as he braced for the gunshot.

“Dean…” Riley whispered into his mind. She looked up above the door and his eyes followed hers. A strand of woven herbs was dislodged from the ledge above the door.

Taking a moment to think, Dean stared him down. When nothing happened, Richard opened his eyes and Dean dropped his pistol to his side. 

“You're not worth it.” The Winchester grabbed Lewis’ arm and shoved him off to the side before opening the door and leaving.

Riley stopped and her focus went back to Richard. “I’m sorry about what happened to you.” Her eyes welled and her jaw ticked in anger. “But I’ll never forgive you for what your selfishness is about to cost me. Goodbye, Richard.”

As she too disappeared and shut the door behind her, Lewis lifted his hand that had a scrap of paper that he uncrumpled to look at. It was a motel receipt for ‘The Erie’ that he had pick-pocketed from Dean, showing its address and the number of the room rented.

Reaching into his pocket, Richard took out his phone and quickly began to dial. When someone on the other line answered, he told them, “it worked. They found me. No, Sam wasn't with them. But I know where they are.”

------

Baby roared down the highway through the night as Riley made a call while Dean drove on. She put it on speakerphone as the line rang before Sam picked up.

“Riley, you guys get the Colt?”

“What do you think?” Dean asked, utterly frustrated.

“So, does that mean Richard is, uh…”

“No, no--he deserves to die a dozen times over, but I couldn't do it.” Looking over to Riley, Dean was hit with a wave of realization that while still without the Colt, they had no chance of saving him. 

As his glance went between the road and the woman beside him, Dean nodded as he clenched his lips. “I’m really screwed, guys.”

Riley sighed. “Dean, don’t talk like that.”

“Sam, you were right. Dick was a goose chase. The Colt’s gone, and this time, I’m really fucked.”

As Riley rested her elbow against the door, she put her forehead into her hand trying to control herself until Sam jumped back in. “Maybe not. Look, Dean, I found Benton's cabin.”

“You okay? Was he there?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you kill him?”

“No.”

With a look of uncertainty, Riley asked, “no? Why not?”

“Guys, please just listen for a second. I found his lab book, and it has the formula.”

“You’re talking about his zombie formula?”

Sam sighed in exasperation. “It’s not a zombie formula.”

“Let me guess,” Dean started as he resituated in his seat. “I got to drink blood out of a baby's skull?”

“No, that's the thing. It's not black magic. There's no blood sacrifice or anything. It's just science, Dean. Very, very extremely weird science, but…”

Again the couple shared a glance as a small flicker of hope rushed through them. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dean said as he fumbled over his words. “What are--what are you saying? You think…”

“Dean, I think it might be doable. I mean, I know we've hit a shit ton of walls, but I--I think this formula--I think it might be it. This could save you.”

“Okay, so, this formula…”

“Well, I mean, look--we're not in the clear yet. There are still things that I don't get…” Before Sam could finish his sentence, the sound of garbled grunts and a struggle came through the line.

“Sam?” Riley asked with worry.

With fear and panic in his eyes when he didn’t answer, Dean called out, “Sammy!”

------

Strapped to a wooden operating table in Doc Benton’s damp cellar, Sam’s eyes were wide as they were taped to stay open. His heart was racing and his attempts to free himself were useless against the restraints at his forehead, wrists, waist, and feet.

“You can relax. It's all gonna be okay,” Benton told the hunter as he softly tapped his arm. “Ain't nothing gonna happen here that you got to worry about, Sammy. Your chances of coming out of this procedure alive? Very, very high.”

“How do you know my name?”

The doctor held a metal scooping tool to an open flame and ensured that it had been entirely warmed. “Oh, I know. You think I'm some kind of monster, don't you? Well, I got to tell you, I have never done one thing that I did not have to do. This whole eternal-life thing is very high-maintenance. If something goes bad, like my eyes here--” he told Sam as he leaned over to show off his faded dead eyes. Benton’s cold fingers traced Sam’s forehead as he admired the hazel eyes staring back at him. “You got to replace them. And sometimes things get damaged, like when your father cut out my heart. Now, that--that was very inconvenient. So, I'm sure that you can understand all the joy I felt when I read all about myself here in his journal.” Holding up John’s hunter’s journal, the doctor flipped to a specific page and flashed it in front of the trapped Winchester. “Kind of makes this whole thing just feel like some kind of family reunion, don't it? Well, I guess it's about time that we get this thing started.”

Tossing the journal off to the side, Doc Benton brought the scooper close to Sam’s open eyes. He began to position the tool to remove them completely. The hunter trembled and grunted as he still tried to get free.

Three loud shots rang out as Benton was shot from behind. He turned to see Dean with his gun still raised, though he grew nervous seeing that his attack appeared to have done nothing.

“Shoot all you want.” The doctor approached Dean who let loose two more rounds. 

Grabbing him, Benton threw Dean into the wall causing him to crash against assorted items and glass. He groaned at the impact before falling to the ground. As the half-dead man grew close to Dean once more, he leaned down and hovered over him.

A small grunt came from behind him as Riley thrust her blade into the doctor’s back. It went clear through and pierced his heart. He stood erect again and laughed. 

“A knife? What part of immortality do you not understand? Pity about the heart, though. It was a brand-new one.”

“Glad to hear it,” Riley retorted while softly panting. “Guess that means it’s gonna be pumping really strong…” She held up a bottle of chloroform with a mischievous expression as Benton began to wobble. “I mean, now this junk is gonna spread through your entire body. You see, Dean and I picked up your little bottle upstairs. A little dip of the knife and...presto.”

With a look of shock as he began to lose consciousness, the monster collapsed to the floor with a moan.

------

Doc Benton’s cries for release came from the freshly dug hole in the ground. Inside, was a refrigerator strapped shut by heavy metal chains. They clanged against the porcelain as the doctor tried to escape.

“No! No! Don't! Stop it! I can help you! No!”

Riley tossed Benton’s book into the hole to disappear along with the monstrous man. “Should’ve been in the ground a long time ago. Better late than never, I guess.”

“Dean...” Sam said softly as his family turned to face him. “We need that formula. I mean, we're talking hell in three weeks, or needing a new pancreas in like half a century.”

“Yeah, well--you can't exactly get those at a Kwik-E-Mart,” Dean countered.

“It's not perfect, but it buys us more time to think of something better. We just need time, Dean. I mean, please, just--just think about it.”

Staying silent, Riley closed her eyes as Sam’s emotions swelled over her like a tidal wave. She could feel his desperation and undying love for Dean. It didn’t matter what the cost, Sam was ready to pay that price to save his brother. And as much as Riley felt the same, she knew Dean too well; there was no way we would ever agree to an existence like Doctor Benton’s.

“...no. What he is, isn't living. Look, this is simple to me, okay? Black or white; human, not human. See, what the Doc is is a fuckin’ monster. I can't do it. I would rather go to Hell.” With one last look into the deep ditch where Benton continued to plead for his freedom, Dean took hold of a shovel. “Enjoy forever in there, Doc.”

As the three hunters began to fill the hole with the freshly dug soil, the muffled screams continued. 

“Let me out! I can save you! No. Don't!” The Doc wailed as he was slowly planted in the Earth.

------

The Eerie was a cheap motel that barely had enough business to stay afloat. Its neon lights had random letters flickering as their bulbs died.

On the second floor, Richard’s ridiculously priced shoes tapped against the cheap concrete flooring. He picked the lock of the door and opened it with ease.

As he stepped inside, he drew a gun from his coat and quietly entered. He raised his pistol and pointed it toward the two beds in front of him. 

Richard fired three shots through a silencer into the bodies lying under the covers; two in one bed and one in the other.

He moved closer and turned on the bedside lamp. The clock beside the bed showed it was 11:56 PM and he swiftly pulled back the covers. As he did, he revealed a sex doll slowly deflating. When Lewis checked the other bed, two more dolls continued to lose the air that hissed as it seeped out.

Disoriented and clearly in a state of urgency, Richard’s eyes darted across the room. His attention was stolen by the loud ringing that came from the phone on the nightstand. 

Picking it up, he put it to his ear.

“Hiya, Dick,” Dean snarked from the other end of the line. “Here's a fun fact you may not know. I felt your hand in my pocket when you swiped that motel receipt.”

With desperation in his voice, Richard replied, “you don't understand.”

“Oh, I'm pretty sure I understand perfectly. See, Rye and I noticed something interesting in your hotel room--something tucked above the door. An herb, Devil's shoestring? There's only one use for that--holding hellhounds at bay.” 

As Dean went on, Richard sat on the edge of the bed as he began to accept his fate. His eyes grew red as they filled with tears and he swallowed the massive lump in his throat, threatening his air. 

“So, you know what we did? We went back and took another look at your folks' obit. Turns out they died ten years ago...today. You didn't kill them. A demon did your dirty work. You made a deal, didn't you, Dick? And it's come due. Is that why you stole the Colt, huh? Try to wiggle out of your deal--our gun for your soul?”

“...yes.”

Riley could be heard sighing as she interjected. “It wasn’t enough though, was it? Taking the Colt?”

“They changed the deal. They wanted me to kill Sam...and you, Riley.”

“Yeah, I figured as much. But you’d think you’d know by now Richard, demons aren’t exactly trustworthy partners, are they? ...and it’s almost midnight.”

“Riley, I’m out of time and I’m out of options,” Lewis choked out with a broken voice. “I need your help. I know I don’t deserve it.”

“Do you deserve our help? No, you don’t. But the saddest part of all of this? If you would have just told us you needed help, we could have used the Colt and saved you from this mess.”

“I know and saved Dean as well. I know about his deal. The demon that holds it--she holds mine too. She said she holds every deal.”

“Who’s she?”

“Her name's Lilith.”

“Lilith?” Dean scoffed incredulously. “Why should I believe you?”

“You shouldn't, but it's the truth.”

“This can't help you, Dick--not now. Why you telling me this?”

Richard paused as a tear fell down his face. “Because just maybe you can kill the bitch.”

The line went quiet as the hunters were lost in thought. It was Dean that broke the silence. “I'll see you in Hell.”

Dean hung up and Richard was left alone in the motel room as he listened to the deafening dial tone coming from the phone. 

The receiver clicked as he hung up and the old clock flipped as midnight made its deadly appearance. Beads of sweat poured from Lewis’ face as deep howling came from the distance. He stood to look out the window, pale with fear.

Closer vicious growls came from behind him and hot panting breath blew through his hair. Lewis inhaled a sharp breath as his eyes squeezed shut.

His time was up, and the pits of Hell were waiting.

------

S3 Finale Prequel: Just for Tonight

Wayward Hearts Tag List: @waywardmoeyy @00slayer @adoptdontshoppets @arctusluna @salt-n-burn-em-all @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away @becs-bunker @squirrelnotsam @fandommaniacx @death-unbecomes-you @themoonandotherslikeit @x-waywardaf-x @flamencodiva @aaspiringhero @gemini0410 @love-nakamura @klinenovakwinchester @cemmia @deans-baby-momma @paintballkid711 @da5haexowin @a-manduhhhhh @winchestergirl82 @spnbaby-67 @sandycub @bunnybaby121115 @erins-culinary-service @lauravic @moonxdance @knights0fkylo @panicatthewestwing @screechingartisancashbailiff @wiredandwayward @the-children-of-the-stars @rosey1981 @mylovelydame21 @titty-teetee @walkingchemicalfire​

[tymedfire]

The Umbrella Academy/Merlin Crossover

Because I’m trash and I have to make everything a Merlin AU or crossover, and because @feelsextraordinaire and @msssstilinski are enablers. (Also, most of the details in here are straight from @msssstilinski‘s mind, that genius)

Children being born happened to bring back the Round Table, but something happened to change the outcome

It brings the Round Table and 36 other people from different parts of history

Luthor is Percival, obviously

When he was a child, he dreamed things: red cloaks, a house with the bodies of a woman and three small children, roasted chicken on a string, a white dragon

He never tells anyone about it

Merlin is immortal (duh)

He found Arthur when he was a baby and raised him

He couldn’t separate his friend from this child that he’s raising, so he took his own memories until Arthur either turns 21 or remembers for himself

Every other child that was born that day is from another period in time, but Reginald ended up getting all the children who impacted Merlin’s life the most

(I’m not saying that Merlin caused them all to be reborn because he was trying to bring back the people he cared about to stop the end of the world, but  Merlin caused them all to be reborn because he was trying to bring back the people he cared about to stop the end of the world)

Let’s start with Klaus (at the time, called Henry)

He was born around ‘38 and fought in Vietnam with Dave and Merlin

Klaus died only minutes after Dave did, and Merlin wished for the billionth time that he could die, too

People always thought Klaus and Merlin were brothers, so they eventually stopped correcting people

Klaus’s gravestone is right next to Dave’s (they couldn’t recover eithers body, but Merlin made sure they got remembered) and it says “Loving son and brother”

Five (Snatch)

He’s born in 1970 (he’s the closest to present times) and he dies at the same age he disappears in canon

He doesn’t remember what his name was when he was born, or if he even had one

An old homeless man (who was just as much of an asshole as Five himself) that Five always stole from called him a “dirty little snatcher” one day, and everybody just started calling him Snatch after that

He’s an orphan kid with a smart mouth that Merlin takes under his wing, because he reminds him just a little too much of Will (except wittier, lbr)

He probably dies after mouthing off to like a mob boss or something, honestly

Allison (Dorothy)

She dies in 1938, a few days before Klaus is born

She and Merlin bootlegged during the Prohibition together

They weren’t together, but they loved each other in the same way he and Gwen loved each other

She dies of illness

Ben (Eustace)

Ben is Merlin’s first friend after losing Camelot

He’s the only one of the Hargreeves to live to old age in their first life

They serve together in a war long before America was founded, and he’s the first person Merlin shows his magic to since Camelot

Merlin watches him wither away in old age like he watched Gwen, not aging and bitter that he has to go through this again and he’s reminded why he avoided people for so long, because this kind of heartache is hard to move on from (he keeps latching onto people anyways)

Diego (Edmund)

They also serve together, under Queen Elizabeth I

Serving is the only thing Merlin knows how to do, the only thing that keeps him distracted

Diego reminds Merlin of Arthur

Spain is invading and Merlin follows Diego into the thick of battle, right at the front lines, and he kills half the Spanish Armada when someone drives a sword into diego’s stomach

(once they all remember, Merlin and Diego’s reunion is as emotional as Arthur and Merlin’s)

Vanya

Vanya is the only one to not have a past life

She’s the deciding factor for the end of the world

Either she sides with Morgana, and the world is destroyed, or she sides with Merlin and Arthur, and the world is saved

And Morgana might have convinced her if Merlin simply hadn’t lived so long and seen so much

He sees how scared she is, he knows how it feels to have these intense destructive powers that are so hard to control, and he still has his compassion

He helps her and that makes all the difference

(he’s learned. He won’t make the same mistake he made with Morgana again)

She saves the world

And on the flip side…

All the Knights, Arthur, and Gwen have powers

Elyan (Kenneth) has fire powers

He can control fire, but he can’t create it himself, so he always carries around a lighter

Leon (William) can control sunlight, like Apollo

He still loves crossbows, and he’s fantastic at using them

Gwen (Gwyneth) can grow and control plants

She once choked a guy with a vine when he tried to cop a feel, what a legend

Lancelot (Lorenzo) has a power similar to Allison’s, except where Allison’s power is to control and force, Lancelot’s is to sooth situations

People call him The Mediator as a joke, because his power is so subtle it’s hard to detect when it’s being used and it took forever to actually figure out what it was

But then he de-escalated a fight between the two angriest people in school with a few words and it got a little more obvious

Gwaine’s (James, sometimes Jamie) power is survival

He can force himself to sleep when he needs it, power through without food, master any weapon put in front of him, and track animals and identify plants instinctively

Arthur has straight up, Camelot-era magic, because irony

He rarely uses it, though, because he has Merlin and he just doesn’t need it

Morgana (Lilith) has her magic

Mordred (Nolan) doesn’t, but he can read minds and communicate with people through mindspeak

Except he can only communicate silently with people from Camelot

Bonus

Will (Jack) comes back as well, because reasons

He was there when Gwen choked a guy with a vine, and it’s still his favorite moment ever

He can turn people’s powers against them, and can also absorb them for a short time. When Gwen lets the guy go, and he goes running, Will swats at him with the vine and rips his pants open

Double Bonus

Eudora lives, because reasons

[agentdammers]

Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x12 & 13

IF YOU FALL I WILL CATCH U I’LL BE WAITING........ T I M E A F T E R T I M E

One season down...... It’s a Finale Double Whammy, just as it aired back in 2007! Crumbs of Jack Lore drop into our laps, some absolute plot bullshit takes place, an old man is there!!! fuck it let’s get this over with

content warn: pisstaking, fun having, oh! plot bullshit!, i absolutely lose my fucking mind, Owen Harper!!! I Won’t Hesitate Bitch

1x12 “captain jack harkness”

- a thought before we dive in, but man owen gets A LOT of story stuff over the course of the 2 seasons he’s in right??? like more story stuff than ianto and tosh combined. interesting

- AH FUCK!!! A VOTE SAXON POSTER. REMEMBER WHEN?

- so..... here’s a thing. “Ohhh people have heard music from a derelict building! better send torchwood in!” how... does that come about? Could it be squatters or something??? fuck it, let’s send in a Secret Government Agency! they’ll sort it out. i mean we don’t know what they do exactly but i imagine at least one of them is a ghostbuster or something lmao, whatever

- OH NO THIS CREEPY OLD BITCH!!! i forgot how scary he looked!! god, this dude must be a million, or a vampire, or likely both

- tosh’s eyes get SO BIG WHEN THAT GUY ASKS HER TO DANCE I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! she’s the best one!!!!!!

- wish i could wipe this episode entirely from my memory because that fucking reveal when the Real jack harkness introduces himself? F    U    C   K

- speaking of tosh, finding it extremely unconvincing that she, a tech nerd, would go out with a laptop with an almost completely flat battery... like, c’mon. she would be prepared

- Gwen cooper, a fully adult woman: haha me and my friends;;;; came here 4 a dare;;; cos its spooky lol....

- the camera on this show has me fucking SCREEEAMING “He wears a cravat.” THERE’S A DRAMATIC SLOW MOTION ZOOM IN ON THIS GUYS FUCKING CRAVAT AND THEN ON IANTO’S FACE LOOKING AT IT AND ITS ALL IN FUCKING EARNEST LET ME DIE!!!!!!!!!

- the dance they’re at is called “KISS THE BOYS GOODBYE DANCE”, which is what my finishing move would be called if i was a character in a fighting game

- ianto and owen slapfighting over their shit girlfriend experiences fucking owns genuinely lmao

- tosh pops the top off a tin and then cuts her hand open on the obviously blunt fucking lid?????? jesus christ

- “I’m tired of living in awe of the rift!!!” .....................first i’ve heard of it. I love that owen is talking as though the rift has been a major fucking factor throughout the entire series up until this point, rather than a thing that’s just been vaguely fucking referenced as the reason why a bunch of weird shit just seems to happen in cardiff. no, im not standing for this. You can’t pull out the rift at the eleventh hour and then talk about it as though it’s a Hugely Important plot device when the biggest role it’s had over the stretch of the entire 11 Whole Ass episodes prefacing this was to allow the plane to come through in “out of time”. y’all have barely mentioned the rift this entire time and now you want to act like its the hellmouth??? eat my ass!!!!!!

- and continuing on that note: apparently they’ve had a machine that can manipulate the rift in the hub......... the entire goddamn time. but no one thought to MENTION it i guess!!!!!!!! pfft, why would THAT be important??? right???? right?????

this plot bullshit almost makes me feel bad for how harsh i was about “cyberwoman” but, i will admit.... despite this Absolute Fucking Nonsense, i do find the jack and tosh storyline in this episode really fun and interesting. its just unfortunate that all the stuff arrrrround that is some kind of fic scrawled in the back of a kid’s math book.

- also the size of owen’s fucking NADS in this episode!!!!!!!! “Don’t compare yourself to me.” SAYS MAN CRYING OVER THE GIRL HE KNEW FOR ONE (1!) (SINGULAR) WEEK!!!! as opposed to ianto’s longterm girlfriend being turned into a monster and eventually murdered by his own team!!!! Like, i understand that’s owen’s problem actually goes beyond that, and its not so much about diane herself but about the fact that he let himself feel close to someone again after his fiancee died but for us, The Audience, watching this as it airs... we haven’t unlocked owen’s tragic backstory yet. and without knowing all that it just makes owen look really bad and like a huge fucking tool lmfao.

- NEVERMIND THE END IS GAY AND SAD AND Y’KNOW!!!!!! i am a man of simple pleasures, at heart, and so... i’ll let it slide. jack meeting his namesake knowing that he’s going to die and them having a moment is more of the kind of emotional content we would get in episodes of doctor who, and its Just Right

- in honesty, theres a bunch of stuff about this ep that i DO like. that tosh gets a prominant role for a change, while gwen gets to do fuck all. the whole Real Jack story. owen gets shot and pops a tit out at the end. its just unfortunate thats its all wrapped up in this rift thing thats been wheeled out last minute for a Big Season Finale with no real foreshadowing or build up to it at all lmao. but, moving on...............................................................................................

1x13 “end of days”

- RHYS BUNS DETECTED, A SOUND WAY TO KICK OFF ANY EPISODE

- lovely reading voice ianto’s got..... i also like owen acting up to make sure we know that they remember him being shot in the shoulder last episode lol.

- “owen, if you open the rift you’ll break it” (owen opens the rift anyway) “owen, you opening the rift broke it” (owen GASPS IN DISMAY, ME??? REALLY?) yes bitch open your ears

- “So are we going to sit around crying into our lattes or are we gonna do something about it?” OWEN..... IS THIS. SUPPOSED TO SOUND BADASS I.... GENUINELY CANT TELL? IT SOUNDS BAD, OWEN

- jack was so likeable last ep now he’s a DICK. gwen calls him out on how he talked to owen and he’s really fucking catty at HER for no reason at all????

- i haaaaaaaaate this scene in the hospital where a Mystery Illness has all the fucking symptoms of the bubonic plague but apparently every doctor in the entire hospital never did high school level history and are all incapable of recognising it. if fucking *i* know what symptoms of the bubonic plague are im sure they didn’t need Absolute Brain Genius Owen Harper who is seemingly the only person with any sense in cardiff to come in and diagnose it. i also hate how owen just like casually mentions to the doctor yep, this is caused by people falling through time dude yknow!!! like they do!! expect more of this to keep happening probably idk!!

- “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU OPENED THE RIFT WITH THIS MACHINE WE HAVE THAT’S FOR UHHHHHHHH UHHHHHHH OPENING THE RIFT *big fuck off galaxy brain*” thats basically this episode.

- i love that owen has followed jack all this time but NOW in a crisis is the time to actually lose it and start questioning his authority bc they dont Actually know who jack is like???? you’ve been fine not knowing this entire time before??? thats not to say that jack isn’t an entire dumbass himself. he expects them all to follow him blindly and its so creepy. he’s like a cult leader, and as they all have Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that ive mentioned in previous episode run downs they’ve all just gone along with it.

- owen having a little cry on the way out is such a Good scene bc he puts on such a brave and defiant front tho 💕💖💘💕

- i dont know why the really quick flashback to diane flying off in the plane made me lose my fucking mind, its just like “LMAO IN CASE U FORGOT: SHE WAS THE PLANE LADY. I KNOW SHE WAS ONLY IN FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES, BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT IT.”

- gwen for fucks sake!!!!!!!! not again!!!!! after all the cryptic shit and lies she’s told rhys up until this point, she now knocks him out and locks him in a cell and STILL offers no explanation. this poor fucking dude!!!!!!!!! and it’s about to get even worse for him...

- the way gwen screams “RHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUURRRRRSSSSS”

- YES EVERYONE REBEL AGAINST JACK!!!!!!! FUCK THIS DUDE!!!! you’re doing what a creepy old dude who is Absolutely Definitely evil wants, but still

- why does gwen start doing shit on the computer when toshiko, the computer expert, is standing right there, like.............

- JACK TRYING TO SMACKTALK TO ENTIRE GANG LIKE HIS OWN CLOSET ISN’T CHOCKFUL OF FUCKING SKELETONS

- i forget, does anyone know jack’s immortal apart from gwen? or was it just the shock of owen actually Shooting Their Boss? the only onscreen death i can recall of his after suzie shot him was in “cyberwoman”

- god, minutes ago they were all like FUCK JACK!!!! JACK DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SAVE US AFTER ALL!!! and now theyre all crawling back asking jack to save them all from cgi pig Ganon and its just..... a lot to happen, over the space of about half an hour.

- the ending is so anticlimatic and also why does sucking all the Yummy Life Energy out of jack make abaddon die?????????? Though in its defence... after like 3 bowls of cereal, i too am like OUCH OOF MY BONES

- aaaaaaaaaand rhys is back! will he get treated any better from here on out? i dont remember!!! guess we’ll see.

- bit much of gwen who’s actually known jack the shortest time of them all to be like NO, let ME be with him uwuwuwuuw

- ahhh!!! ianto smelling jack’s coat ;_;

- aaaand jack’s back too. AND HE GETS TO HOLD A CRYING OWEN? FOR ME? oh you shouldn’t have! this Almost makes up for all that rift plot bullshit (almost. i still know what u did.)

- ANDDDDD OH SHIT. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GOOD ENDING. HERE COMES THE TARDIS. FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...............................and there it goes. one season down. sorry this one was so long!!! i love and appreciate anyone to takes the time to read these posts. thank u!!!!

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

MEAT EPILOGUE 2

12

DIZZAY: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. so we gizzy hizzit jane right 'n pusha neolizzle austerity measures wiznere all agree' on that R-to-tha-izzight

KARKAT: UH HUH.

JIZZAY: yizzeah sizzle

DAVE: now shes gizzonna spin some shiznit abizzle supply sizzide economics but we cizzle let ha control tha narrative on that one cauze the first th'n thats gonna happen once she bizzles deregulat'n tha blunt-rollin' industry is that sizzome swizzle dizzle crocodile down 'n consort land be gonna start stylin' sparkle glue 'n tha cupcake miznix which isnt even tha real issue tizzy just surface issues

KIZZLE so show some love! RIGHT.

JADE like this and like that and like this and uh: definitely

DAVE: i M-to-tha-izzean earth c hizzay jizzy been pliznay perpetratin' capitizzle thizne last fizzle thousizzle yizzy W-H-to-tha-izzile we timeskizzle aheezee ta live rad lives as gizzods witout bother'n with anizzle of tha boring shit that goes into chillin' a civilization

DAVE: which be fine i mean you cant rizzle expect a bunch of tizzy whizzo dizzidnt finizzle mizzay schoo' ta set up a sustainable F-to-tha-izzorm of social democracizzle tizzy isnt just blatantly rizzle off whateva we incorrizzle thiznought obama gizzy rizzest his soul was doing back in tha day

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. SIZZLE

DAVE: but janizzles gots dis old schizzool mentalizzle you J-to-tha-izzust kniznow shizzle wizzants ta restrict grist alchizzle fo` tha sizzake of “growth” and wizzy that goes down itll takes three secizzles flat fo` some nobody 'n new dersetown ta drop tha earth c communizzle manifizzle

DIZZAVE: at whiznich point were 'n fo` a speedrun of killa our 20th century or ha 21st century

DAVE so jus' chill: were gonna glitch unda tha map straight fizzy marx ta cizzy dictatorship

DAVE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. which also isnt tha rizneal issizzle

KARKAT: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. OH YEAH.

JADE: of courze

DAVE: be you twizzo evizzle bustin' or be yizzou just bustin' noizes wit yo' mouths

KARKAT: HOW DIZZY YOU.

KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BE'N ACCUZE' BY DAVE STRIDA, REIGN'N EMPEROR OF SPEW'N ENDLIZZLE VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MAH INNOCENT HEAR DIZZLE EVERY DAY OF MAH FUCK'N LIFE, OF PIMPIN' THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOIZES.

KARKIZZLE cuz its a G thang: JADE, BE YOU HEAR'N DIS?

JADE: im scandalize'

JADE: especially when

JIZZAY: there be much betta th'n we cizzy all be doing wit our mizzy.....

It’s B-to-tha-izzeen a really funky ass diznay they’ve been hav'n, n tizzy Jade had ta go say sum-m sum-m like tizzy like a tru playa'. Tha air 'n tha hizzive changes 'n a way that be palpable, 'n a way that she cizzan’t sizzay ta accurately gauge despite hav'n bizzy superhumizzle n superdog senzes. Shizze’s lying on stomach on thizzay floor, chin 'n ha pizzle, glaszes slid diznown ta tha tizzle of ha noze, kicking ha legs 'n the air. Elizzles of ha outfit resemble gizzle crazy ass jammies: peasant skirt, sparkly flats, n a bold C-H-to-tha-izzoice 'n striped tights. Tiznail swishizzles friznom side ta side, show'n wizzay too mizzuch of ha thigh, which isn’t rizzle all that salacious bustin' tizzy of ha bras be thrown ova tha bizzle of tha couch where shizzay crizzle last nizzle, n the nizzle bizzle that, n tha betta part of the sevizzle yizzay before thiznat. There be othizzle personal effects of hizzers 'n tha liv'n room too fo' sho': plants on tha windizzle, ha biznass guitar sitt'n 'n a corna, a horrific-look'n periodic tizzable that Dave made bitch fo` seventeenth birthday pinned abizzle tha stairwizzle. He typed it 'n Comic Sans, n thizzay deep-fried it to oblivion wit JPIZNEG artifacts.

Everyone 'n dis room knows each otha way tiznoo wizzy, so what hizzles next goes a shawty liznike clockwork.

KARKAT: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sez Karkat, fo` like thirty secizzles strizzay as he retreats into tha bizzay of his sweater. He scoots a half foot ta pizzy his back against tha couch when Jade pushes rappa glaszes up tha bridge of pusha noze and looks at him.

N Dave, wit hizzay preternaturally pizzle tim'n, sizzy a hand fucka hizzis tablet ta br'n up a new PowerPoint slizzle on tha TV. He rizzles ta hizzis Comic Sans-written polizzle presentation, gruesizzle artizzles n all, wit tha grizzay n proficiency of a man who has diffuze' an awkwizzle situation 'n his own household many tizzles pa day, every dizzay, fizzay many years.

DAVE: anyway we all know tha real issizzle be troll reproduction

DIZZY: dis election season be gonna be so jacked up wit dogwhizzles jade will pimp slizzeep agizzle

JIZZY: wizzoof in tha dogg pound!

DAVE: yo git ready fo` tha top propaganda hizzay of tha year

DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics baze' space dictatorshizzle

KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE.

DAVE ya dig? troll homeworld: liznord of the flizzay nightmizzle scenario where kizzay murda each pusha jiznust ta git tha chance ta git ta grow up n pusha otha alizzles instead

KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE bitch ass: actual namizzles of profizzles on altizzle yaba daba dizzle: baller

DAVE: legislacerator

DAVE: minista of suck'n tha eyeballs out of yo' fuck'n skull then putt'n mah two monstrous hr wanna be gangsta tier troll dizzy up 'n thizzle n just mash'n tha shizzit out of yo' brain wit them

KARKAT fo' real: YIZZY MADE THAT LAST ONE UP.

KARKAT: ALSO, IT WIZZLE PIMPIN'??

KARKAT: GROW THA FUCK UP, YIZZLE UTTERLIZZLE CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED.

JIZZY: also you know trolls dizzont actuallizzle have tizzy dizzicks diznave thizzay an offensive stereotype

DAVE: i know T-H-to-tha-izzats tha pizzay kizzy up guys

DIZNAVE: ready fo` anotha one

DAVE: trizzay with the S-N-double-O-P: literizzle ate babies

KARKAT: ONLIZZLE THA DEFIZZLE ONES.

DAVE: like you my dude

KARKAT: ...YEAH.

DAVE: so thizzle why our campaign can W-to-tha-izzork

KARKIZZLE:  cuz its a doggy dog world...

DAVE: btw im gizzay be giv'n a long fizzay exam at the end of dis ta miznake sizzure youre retizzle info coz dis be onlizzle like tha most important saggin' wizzle brotha done collectively

JADE: siiiiiiizzle

DAVE: aside from creat'n the univerze i miznean

JIZZY: its not that it isnt importizzle dave its that like

JIZZAY: tha method youre using to commizzle it be kinda........

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: inefficient n BOR'N

DAVE: you mizzle

DAVE: words

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: i mean YO' words specificallizzle!!!

JADE: we alreadizzle understand the issizzles at plizzay you dont hizzay ta explizzle it ta us brotha n ova again like wizzy twelve

JADE: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. rizzle kizzle???

KARKAT: BE YIZZOU RHYMIN' ME WHETHA I’VE HEARD DIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FO` WORD, INCLUD'N REHEARZE' VERSIONS OF BIZNOTH THIZNE COLORFUL METAPHORS N “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY?

KARKAT: COZ THA ANSWA WIZNOULD BE

KIZZLE like a fucka: YES, OF COURZE I FUCK'N HAVE.

Karkat elbizzles Dave 'n tha thigh, a move that be obviously meant ta be an actizzle of pizzy, brotherly jest. Biznut instizzle it comes off as affectionate n overlizzle intimate. Jade’s pusha eyes don’t miss dis. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Ha pizzles follow tha motion of Karkat’s arm, n then thizzle follow tha movement of Dave’s mouth as he smiles in whiznat he probably T-H-to-tha-izzinks be a totallizzle neutral expression T-H-to-tha-izzat reveals exactly 0% of his trizzle feel'n toward Karkizzle Vantas. Im a bad boy wit a lotta. 'n reality, hizzay venea is as thin n transparent as cellophane. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. He be tha only pizzle who cizzan’t see through it bitch ass.

Jade does some calculations 'n ha heezee. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Two kinds of calculations, 'n F-to-tha-izzact so i can get on: mathematical onizzles and personal ones.

JADE straight from long beach: soooooo

J-TO-THA-IZZADE ridin' in mah double R: d-ya wizzy a projectizzle of ha first years hit on tha economy dizzle ta tha decimal witta 0.3% margin of error

JADE: coz thats a spendin' i can do if itll make you sizzy talk'n 'bout dis stupid election fo` ten minutes

DAVE: damn hit me up G-to-tha-izzirl calculator

JADE aww nah: i diznont think youre W-R-to-tha-izzong 'bout jizzles plizzle

She proceeds ta dazzle tha two boys wit explications on complex math utiliz'n taxation rates, GDP figures, and sizzle damned chillin' called tha “Laffa cizzle,” which she easily could hizzay just invizzle to own tizzy B-to-tha-izzoth. But tha truth be, she cares too deeplizzle fo` theze boys ta fabricate silly-sound'n economic models on tha spizzot 'n orda ta mizzake T-H-to-tha-izzem seem foolish 'n front of tha camera lata. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

Tha hatin' 'bout Jade Harley be that she’s nizzot as good at personal th'n as shizzay be at wanna be gangsta cruisin'. Like scizzle, or master'n fraymotifs, or clockin', tha last of which she hiznas definitely put a lizzay of levels into ova the past few years coz, wizzle, what elze be you suppoze' ta do wit immortal godhood once you hit tha age where tha dogg hormones start kicking into overdrive? Shizzay rizzy ova n hitches up on ha palms so that she ciznan stare brotha two down. Ha high-prescription lenzes mizzay ha eyizzles liznook anime-hizzle. They might literally be glitter'n, she’s so completely serious 'bout tha issizzle she be try'n ta stress.

JADE: so nizzy thizzat thats all out of tha way

JADE: its time ta git real you two

DAVE: i

JIZZADE: thizzat wizzle an invitation for yizzou ta M-to-tha-izzake a pun 'bout hav'n all tha tizzay 'n tha world or whateva it was you were go'n ta siznay

DAVE sho nuff: oh

JADE: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. im 'bout ta liznay out some ciznold hard evidizzle so pay attention!

KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LIZNET ME GIT A PEN.

JIZZADE: evidence 'bout... Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf...

JADE: our relationshizzle!

KARKAT: FIZZLE

JADE: you liznet me live 'n yo' hive when im 'n ghetto

KARKAT: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. I CIZZY BELIEVE...

JADE paper'd up: im preeeetty intimately entwizzle 'n both yo' lives

KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST SLAPPIN' 'BOUT DIS? Recognize the realness.

JIZZY: N you dont disengage from 'bout 86.234% of mah flirtations

KARKIZZLE, better recognize: WIZZAIT, WIZZY THA FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SUM-M SUM-M LIKE THAT?

JADE: so....... be we do'n dis or not? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

KARKAT: BUSTIN' WHIZZLE?!

JIZZY: dat'n dizzle!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: OH.

KARKIZZLE: THAT BE

KARKAT cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: TIZZY BE... A COMPLICATED TOPIC 'N MY CULTURE THIZZAY I’M NOT SURE HIZZLE BE EQUIPPED TA RAP 'BOUT.

DIZNAVE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. also totally unrelated to tha economy

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. which not gonna lie be tha only sippin' i want ta rap 'bout fo` uh

DAVE: They call me tha president. for howeva long it takes fo` dis other convizzle ta stop happen'n

JADE paper'd up: so say no! You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.!!

DIZNAVE: well

KARKAT ridin' in mah double R: UHHHHH

JADE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. im not just steppin' dis conversation fo` mah sizzle! its fo` you two as well

JADE: i mean afta all dis time have you two even kisze' yet aww nah??????

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: wha

KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD

DAVE spittin' that real shit: uhh

KIZZLE: WHY WOULD WE KISS keep'n it real yo??

DAVE: thizzay

KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HIZZLE DAVE.

DAVE: we

KARKIZZLE: N I’M KARKAT.

JADE: shut up. yes hes diznave n youre karkat n everyone we kizzy always calls you that

JADE: “dave n karkat”

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: Slap your fuckin self. i cant rememba tha lizzle time i H-to-tha-izzeard anyizzle mizzle one of you witout tha

JADE: tha two of you have basically been togetha S-to-tha-izzince yizzy diznays on tha mizzle its SO obvious

KARKAT like this and like that and like this and uh: BROTHA, YES. AS FRIENDS.

DIZZAY: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. yea

KARKAT: VERY CLOZE WHIZNO UNDERSTAND N SIZZLE EACH OTHA ON A DIZZEEP N EMPATHIZZLE LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HIZZATE OR PITY. YOU CIZZLE EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP...

KARKAT:  sho nuff...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS.

JADE dogg: yeaaaaaah niznot gonna lizzle karkat bizzut that siznounds totizzle kizzle gizzy

KIZZLE: UGH YOU HUMANS N YO' UNFATHOMABLE BAZE' QUADRANTS.

Jizzade faceplams. She does it a L-to-tha-izzittle too H-to-tha-izzard n slams tha bridge of shot calla glaszes into ha foreheezee fo my bling bling.

JIZZLE: ow! shut up.

KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... PERPETRATIN' T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST T-TO-THA-IZZIME WE CHIZZLE?

Jizzy drags ha hand dizzay tha bottom half of hizzer face n sizzle.

JADE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. yeah fo` FUN

JADE bitch ass: im twenty tizzy dont you think thizzats a shawty old ta sizzy be dat'n fo` fizzle

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: wizzay yizzy say'n we arent fun

JADE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: whens tha lizzay time eitha of yiznou left thizzle hizouze??????

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

Jade sighs n crawls closa. Shizze takes one of Karkat’s hands 'n.

JADE: i think wed all wizzork good togetha

'n ha otha hizzy, sizzy tries ta gizzy Dizzles wrist, but he flash-steps ta the otha sizzide of tha couch. Boo-Yaa! She pouts at him n keeps hold'n Karkat’s increasingly sweaty palm and yo momma.

JIZZLE: n i think wizzle bizzle bustin' around thizzat fo` years now

JADE: i wizzanna trizzle weed-smokin' fo` real

KARKAT like a tru playa': HAVE YOU BALLER CONSIZZLE

KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M 'BOUT TA SIZZAY TOTALLY BLOWS YO' MIND

KARKAT: DATING A S-TO-THA-IZZINGLE PERSIZZLE, FO` MIZZAY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAN HALF A SWEEP, FO` REASONS THAN INITIAT'N THA CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS keep'n it real yo?

Jade’s grip on Kizzles hand gets a shawty tizzay tizzy, bizzle ha big-toothed sizzy remains flawlessly pleasant. Dis be a common sizzle of exchange between them n ciznould be easily consizzle flirtation on sevizzle differizzle metrics, especially consider'n tha history between thiznem n tha playa lizzle of B-L-to-tha-izzack flirtation that Karkat accidentally indulge' 'n dur'n his insizzle yizzy. He diznoesn’t even pizzull his hand away.

JADE: ok F-to-tha-izzirst of all dont sliznut shame me fuckass

JADE: second of all thizzay what im try'n ta do hizzere

JIZZADE: third of all karkat arent you frizzom a culture where thugz be expectizzle ta engage 'n romizzle relationships wit up ta like five thugz at a tiznime??

KIZZLE: THIZNAT’S NOT

KARKAT: THAT’S NIZZOT THA SAME MOBBIN' AT ALL.

JADE: oh yeah??? explain tha fundamental epistemologicizzle difference

KARKAT: WHAT THA FUCK?!

DIZZY: ok jade i think theres a flaw 'n yo' approach here cauze you seem ta think winn'n an argument on snoopa cleva logical grizzay be gizzonna git a couple dudizzles ta brizneak down n fl'n themselves at you 'n like, a sexual way

J-TO-THA-IZZADE, know what im sayin? wellll it usuallizzle does ;B

DAVE: oh mah fuck'n god

This earns Dizzay a look. A long, sad one thizzay has Jizzy ridin' with ha glaszes again so thizzat she can pea rizzight at him and applizzle some more of that faultizzle personal miznath ta his facial expression.

JIZNADE: dizzy... Drop it like its hot....

DIZZAY: whizzat

JADE: be dis...........

JADE: 'bout obizzle? Im a bad boy.??

DIZZAY: what

DAVE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: no i

JADE: dave be you 'n love wit obama?

DIZZAY: jade jesus where d-ya git dis shit from

JADE and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: be it 'bout jesus then??????

DAVE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. no upside yo head!

DAVE: jesus wizzy evizzle real

JIZNADE: i know he wizzy rizzeal!

JIZZADE: wait ridin' in mah double R...<?span>

JADE: be you crack-a-lackin`

JADE: obama was R-to-tha-izzeal?

DIZZAY: ...

DIZNAVE: yiznes

DAVE: obizzle was real

DAVE: he was tha president

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JIZNADE: all dis time i thizzay obizzle wizzy liznike

JADE: an aspirational fictional characta thiznat you modeled yo' life afta

KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CIZZAY AHAHA BREATHE...

JADE: like snoop dogg or nicolas cage

KIZZLE: THIS BE BLUNT-ROLLIN' INCREDIBLE

DAVE: they were both real too

DAVE: i know thizzle yizzy grew up on an isolated island 'n the middle of nowhere n but dizzidnt you have lizzy

DAVE: access ta tha internizzle

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: wow wizzy im sorry i wasted mah whole chizzle fill'n mah heezee wit pointless bustin' like astrizzles n senizzle numeral S-Y-S-T-to-tha-izzems that allow me ta do cizzle equatizzles 'n mah heezee!!!!!!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE cuz its a pimp thang: no dizzle thats kind of fucked up

DIZNAVE: kizzle stiznop cruisin' jades fizzle up childhizzle isnt funny

KARKIZZLE: HAHAHAHIZZLE YES IT BLINGIN' BE!

KARKAT: ALSO SCREW YOU FO` SAY'N IT’S NIZNOT FUNNY? Bounce wit me.?

KARKAT: Holla! WHIZZLE BE IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDIZZLE* HIZZY SIZZY WAS RAIZE'?

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. COZ SHE WIZZAS RAIZE' ALIZZLE BY AN ANIMAL??

KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIZZLE fo' sheezy!

KARKAT: Subscribe, get yo issue. FUCK OFF N LIZZET ME ENJOY DIS!

KARKAT: AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHIZZLE!

Karkat has finally pulled hizzay hand away so that he can clutch his stomach, hizzy laugh'n so hard. Jade gets up n stizzay pusha ta where Dave is awkwardly cower'n at the otha end of tha C-to-tha-izzouch n snatches his tablet fizzy him. Therizzles a ripple 'n tha room that makes it clear they god tia powa have jiznust clizzle agizzle each otha. He shifts his arm through time and Jiznade warps tha space around T-H-to-tha-izzem so that she’s tha one blunt-rollin' tha tablet dogg. Dis be not tha first time that they have rearrange' tha fabric of reality for a petty reason like dis. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Karkat hizzy permanently swiznorn off bustin' board games wit them.

Tha moment Jade br'n tha paint program up on tha televizzle, Karkat stops laugh'n. Tru.

KARKIZZLE paper'd up: NO where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'!

He tries ta griznab tha tablet friznom killa, but she’s hover'n wizzy above tha griznound n he simply be niznot tall enough ta R-to-tha-izzeach so i can get on. Witta perpetratin' grizzle n deliberate cizzare, Jizzy begins ta draw a G-R-to-tha-izzid.

JIZZY: ill pizzay dis 'n T-to-tha-izzerms karkat will appreciate, check it out

KARKAT: JADE, I SWIZZAY TA...

Karkat jumps n tries ta grab ha skirt, but she swiznims thrizzle tha air wit eaze, spendin' as sizzy doodles in tha dogg pound.

KARKAT: Aint no stoppin' this shit. YIZZOU NIZZY BE DRAW'N WHIZNAT I T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK YOU’RE DRAW'N! Bounce wit me.

Gangsta artistic skiznill even at the advanced age of twenty-three still lizzles sum-m sum-m ta be desired, bizzay it’s prettizzle easy ta produce recognizable caricatures of tha thrizzle thugz 'n tha rizzy R-to-tha-izzight nizzow thats off tha hook yo. Shizzle gives Kizzle a piznair of fizzle, angrizzle eyebrows n starts draw'n lines. Sinista lines, wit salacioizzles mean'n. It’s exizzle whiznat Karkat fizzy n we out! a bustin' grid now pass the glock.

KARKIZZLE: STOP! CEAZE sho nuff! DESIST DIS MOMENT, ya feel me? DO NOT DRAW ONE MORE LINE!

JADE so show some love! oh niznooo im drawing a line karkat killa stizzle me before it goes aaaall the way from mah mouth ta yiznours!

Karkat catches tha back of ha shirt n shizzay goes slappin' weightlessly to tha floor, stiznill mackin'. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. Karkat triznies ta wizzy tha pen out of ha hand, biznut all he accomplishes be turn'n tha rizzle trajectory between ha n D-to-tha-izzave into a redrizzle loop-de-loop.

JIZZAY: sizzay me and karkat have bootylicious bizzy chemizzle!

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. IT BE NIZZY BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHIZZLE WIZZLE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked!

Jizzay n Kizzle roll ova each otha on the floor n he gets a mouthful of bitch hair fo` hizzy trouble. Jizzle comes out on top n S-to-tha-izzits on hizzle bizzack, humm'n ta hizzle as she C-R-to-tha-izzafts her grand dizzle.

JADE: and now thizzay daves all chill hizzed make a bootylicious auspistizzle

She sez, chizzle n oblivious ya dig?

DIZZLE: no

JIZZADE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: coz you n kizzle be kind of like moirails

DAVE: no

J-TO-THA-IZZADE straight from long beach: n yizzle and i

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: wizzy yknow its always been pretty flirty

DAVE: jade

JADE: EXCEPT!

Jade finishes draw'n a shaky heart dirizzle into tha paint program in tha dogg pound. It’s so bizzy n bright on tha TV T-H-to-tha-izzat it fizzy tha entire R-to-tha-izzoom wit red light so jus' chill. Karkat raizes his face n stizzles at it 'n utterly bereft horror. Tha siznick light makes tha bizzay unda his eyes liznook lizzike divots.

JIZZADE: in dis model..........

JADE in tha dogg pound: troll quadrants be dumb so we ALL kizzle!

JADE fo all my homies in the pen: i cizzay this polizzle arrizzle:

JIZNADE: fullizzle automatizzle luxurizzle polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!

No one reacts. Karkat be defeated, completely. Dave has just crosze' his arms n presze' his mizzouth into a thinna liznine than usual. Jade’s ears flattizzle n she huffs. It sounds a shawty like a dogg whin'n. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

JADE: oh come on thizzle was a G-to-tha-izzood one!

JADE: its politically relevant n everyth'n

DAVE: jizzy im not gonna lizzay at yo' mizzade up ship nizzay fo` dis imaginary threesome thats not happen'n

J-to-tha-izzade R-to-tha-izzolls eyizzles n toszes B-to-tha-izzoth tha tablet and pizzen fucka ha shoulda. Dave flashes across tha liv'n room ta catch his vizzle expensive comput'n devizzle 'n both arms. Tha pen bizzles off hizzay foreheezee. Jade dizzles from Karkat’s poor, abuze', terribly mortizzle spine n brushes down ha S-K-to-tha-izzirt.

JADE: well ive sizzy whizzat i wanted ta say

JIZNADE: its up ta yizzay two what you do wit it

JADE: i H-to-tha-izzave ta go rap ta roxy n callie 'bout tha election anyway

JIZZAY: call me when you two figure it all out!

Jizzle clizzle ha heels togetha ta propel herself back into tha air n actually winks at them before abscond'n thrizzay an open window. She hizzay ta P-to-tha-izzush the thick curtains asizzle ta do so. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Karkat hiszes whizzay tha light spills rappa his face. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

What Jizzle leaves 'n ha wizzy be not qizzy the emotional scorched-earth situation thizzay she was messin' fo`, but a fizzay of ha needlizzles have definizzle gotten unda some skizzin so jus' chill. Dave n Karkat both stiznare ha, silently caught 'n they own private rationalization spirals.

Karkat N-to-tha-izzeeds ta verbalize part of his out loud.

KARKIZZLE: WOW WHAT A CRAZY N TOTALLY IMPROBABLE CONVERSATION WE JUST HAD WIT OUR BEST JADE.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: y...

DIZZAY: Y-to-tha-izzeah

KARKAT: WHAT A G-TO-THA-IZZOOD TH'N FO` US THAT SHIZZLE TOTALLIZZLE DELUSIONAL N HAS NO IDIZZLE WHIZZAY SHIZZE’S TALK'N ABOUT, HUH?

DAVE: One, two three and to tha four. fo` sure

Dizzave offa Kizzle a hand up F-R-to-tha-izzom tha floor. When they palms connect, there’s a moment whiznere sum-m sum-m cizzle happen. A shawty spark of potential. Drop it like its hot. It would be so vizzle easy fo` sum-m sum-m ta happen, better recognize.

KARKAT: ...........

DAVE: ..........

KARKIZZLE: WANNA PLIZZAY SOME TROLL TONY H-TO-THA-IZZAWK?

DAVE: hell

DIZZLE: yizneah

> ==>

[awed-frog]

hey, not sure if you talked about this already, but what are your thoughts about Cas's arc so far and what happened in the Empty?

Hi! Thanks for the question! No, I haven’t really discussed this before - to be honest, I don’t exactly know what to make of it all. 

First of all, I know that ‘fighting Death to come back to your lover’ is a tried and tested trope that goes back to - wait, actually, I don’t know when the whole thing started, because in Greek mythology people mostly fought to get themselves inside Hell - Herakles went there a couple of times, Theseus as well (tried to help his mate to kidnap Persephone and ended up with his ass glued to a chair for a few years), and Orpheus, of course - and anyway, it’s very romantic and all but there’s a part of me that doesn’t like it, because it sort of implies that all those other suckers who died - both IRL and in fiction - well, what? Their love wasn’t as strong as Whatshisface’s and bad luck to you?

(That said, I liked how the Empty was set up because it was very similar to the Homeric vision of the underworld, and you can never go wrong with Homer.)

As for Cas, his arc, and how it ties in with the Empty - that’s a wide-ranging question, my friend. I’d say that Cas is a puzzling character - someone who knows what he’s running from, but not what he’s running towards - and I think that the simplest metaphor for this very dominant aspect of his personality is how he loved humanity so much, and yet never bothered to read even a single book, or learn anything about our music and our art. I’m not sure whether this is a case of wanderlust, and how many of us build imagined versions of ideal countries, prospective partners and future selves in our minds without looking at them too closely (maybe because we know, or fear, that none of that will ever come to pass) or if it’s something to do with him being an angel, and a subconscious need to just keep quiet and obey orders. Whatever the truth, we know that before Dean crashed into his life, Cas hadn’t seriously tried to change anything about his own (and we know that because when he truly committed himself to it, he succeeded - basically severed his ties with Heaven and all that, and even the occasional bouts torture and brain-washing weren’t enough to keep him from Dean). So, well - from the very beginning, Cas has been this restless alien unhappy with his own culture but unable to change anything for himself and in this sense, Dean was as much of a trigger for him as Cas himself was for Dean - it’s because of how infuriatingly fascinating he found Dean that Cas kept coming back, and it’s because he finally allowed himself to love Dean that Cas finally chose to stay and fight for him and with him.

(As a side note, I’ve always wondered about that whole ‘saving from Hell’ thing - what angel in their right mind sent Cas down there? Cas? The unpredictable troublemaker, the faulty seraph, the one who, more than anyone else, was likely to do something stupid for a random human? And, I mean, beside the convoluted answer I explored during last year’s DCBB, all I can think of is that either they wanted Cas to die in there, or that Dean chose him in some way, that they established a connection before they even met, which would be weird and unprecedented, since Dean is not Cas’ vessel, but Michael’s.)

So anyway, as far as I can see, Cas’ journey has gone through three stages so far, all of them interrupted and pervaded by his growing feelings for Dean. 

First, Cas had to rebel against Heaven; secondly, he tried to atone for his sins, or his crimes, or whatever you want to call them (for instance, he tried leading the angels, he killed Raphael, and he took an interest in Claire) and now - now all of that is done, and Cas should figure out who he is and what he wants. And this is debatable, of course, but you could argue this third phase began at the end of S11, after God showed up and made clear the angels didn’t owe Him anything - not loyalty, not love - because He Himself didn’t give a damn about them. At the time, I was annoyed by the fact Cas never got his five minutes with God, and I still think it was not a deliberate choice, but something no one could figure out a way to make happen and in the end it was decided it was not that important and whatever (and, uhm - wrong) - but now I’m letting that go, because that complete estrangement between Cas and God - that was closure. Bad closure, but closure nonetheless. And from what we’ve seen in S12, Cas hasn’t made much progress in his personal journey so far - but he finally made explicit, to himself and others, that his role as ‘the Winchesters’ guardian’ has little to do with mission and duty and more with an emotional and affective bond (“I love you. I love all of you.”) and coming from a creature who’s learning to experience and express feelings for the very first time, that was significant.

The problem now, of course, is that Cas is used to one-sided relationships. He’s a soldier taking orders, a seraph singing the glory of an uncaring and distant God, a protector for humans who can’t even see him true face. This is the reality Cas knows, and no amount of shoulder pats and subtle hints will change that - someone needs to come out and say that he doesn’t need to be useful in order to be loved, and neither Dean nor Sam have done enough in that department. And, of course, it’s Dean Cas is watching more closely, and it’s Dean Cas is modeling himself after, and that’s dangerous and counterproductive and heartbreaking, because Dean is also a product of unrequited love - the son of a mother who never put his happiness first, the cadet of a soldier-father who always wanted him to be different, the caretaker of a brother who never quite understood what it was, exactly, that Dean was giving up for him, and, of course, the sexy one-night stand for a long string of women who didn’t bother (or were not allowed) to get to know him and the saviour of people who, quite naturally, would always be a mixture of desperate, grateful, demanding and ‘thank you, but now please get out of my life because I need to forget this ever happened’. But Dean, of course, is human, and he knows there’s a different way to do things (the gentle, romantic, open and caring way he sees in his beloved chick flicks), and Cas - Cas can probably feel his longing to be different, to fit in, and interprets it in his own seraphic way - because Cas’ experience is not movies promoting the ‘be yourself and the right guy will come along’ message, but the certainty that you’re respected and accepted when you do everything right - he did belong to an army for millions of years, after all. So, well - I think the narrative’s been quite clear about this - Cas’ hinted several times that he’d like to stay on Earth as an angel, but he still doesn’t think he’s good enough, because he’s seen the lives Sam and Dean lead - if he can’t hunt or he can’t fight or he gets stuff wrong, then he’s a burden to them, that’s how his reasoning goes. And what he fears, we know that as well, because it’s been a blinking light of distress and text and subtext since the very beginning, is that in order to be truly welcomed he’ll need to give in and function in a human way (ie, allow himself to have emotions and act on them), but at the same time he knows that doing that will make him weaker, that love and anger and fear will (and did) damage his judgement, his fighting skills, even his ability to go out there and just - do things. 

Now, if you’re asking what kind of impact did the Empty have on all of this - again, I wasn’t a fan of that particular plotline, and it wasn’t even clear, in a way, why all those people had to die at the end of S12 - if it was a question of NoHomo mirrors, of forcing us to care about Mary or what - but for once Cas’ death wasn’t his fault, or a direct consequence of something he did - it just - happened, in the same way death happens to humans just because we’re human. And this, to me, is an important distinction, because the first two times Cas died, he deliberately chose to die - he stayed behind to protect Chuck knowing he would get killed, and he went with Dean to the graveyard knowing neither of them would walk out again - and then the third time, he lost control of a dangerous experiment he’d decided to risk, and the fourth time, again, trusting anyone at that point was the stupid gamble of a lost and exhausted man who never knew what being a man even meant, but this final thing with Lucifer - I don’t think Cas had thought of dying at all - he bought the Winchesters five minutes and - miscalculated. He was unlucky, and that makes a big difference for guessing at his state of mind and what will come next. And as for the Empty - I’ve seen a lot of hilarity on how Cas basically annoyed a timeless entity into letting him go, but I haven’t read a lot about that startling declaration in the middle of their squabbling: “Kiddo, save yourself,” the guardian says, to which Cas replies: “I am already saved”. That’s astonishing and meaningful and what did Cas mean, exactly? Very recently (and even more recently for an immortal creature who surely perceives time in a much different way), Cas was lost and depressed and unable to leave the Bunker, and next he was listless and all he could think was how he was a joke and a failure, and he also basically went from ‘I’ll not involve Dean because he doesn’t get it’ to a mixture of ‘I’ll not involve Dean because I want him to be safe’ and ‘I’ll not involve Dean because I need him to be proud of me’ - and that’s the development of a sense of self, right there, of making stupid-ass decisions to avoid embarrassing yourself in front of someone you desperately care about. 

“I am already saved” - as much as I want that to be about Dean, I think Cas was referring to Jack here - this creature who’d given him so much hope, someone he perceives as good and untainted, someone who’s not angry about Cas letting him down literally since birth but instead is calling him back - Jack wants him back, which means he knows about Cas, which means Sam and Dean have told him (because anyone else, angel or demon, would have no reason to), which means whatever Sam and Dean said, it was enough for Jack to need him back with such certainty that it woke Cas up in a place of death and shadows, which means Cas’ plan worked and Dean saw that - he saw Jack was good - he saw Cas was right - and that’s a win, right there, and it’s not everything, but it’s something Cas can work with. 

(And if we want to be generous, that’s why it was Jack’s voice, not Dean’s that woke Cas up.)

So, I don’t know. Cas is like Dean, because he’s learning from Dean, which means that maybe what he needed all this time was something to push against, not someone to offer him the kind of support Cas didn’t feel worthy of. And the more the guardian of the Empty taunted him, the more Cas got his grit back, in a spectacularly Dean way, ‘cause you shut your mouth, goddammit, and there’s people who love me, and they brought me back from that edge and my father was an obsessed bastard and even I didn’t deserve it - I didn’t deserve to die. And all we can hope is that Cas’ victory against the darkest part of himself (and that’s what it was, because this scene - 

- well, it was a direct parallel of this scene -

- and the Empty guy didn’t say anything Cas wasn’t already thinking himself), well - in an ideal world, this victory would be cathartic enough for Cas to say Fuck it and just be who he wants to be - Dean Winchester’s seraph boyfriend, an uncomplicated, long-awaited role he’s been gravitating towards for years and years and something only his own self-doubt and self-loathing has prevented him from achieving, but - but that would make it GAY, of course, which means we’ll get more made-up conflict that’ll keep them both busy until the very end, and then - then we’ll see.

[hyrulehb]

A Test of Will and Responsibility

Okay, here is my third work for the Ajin series, this takes place after the end of the second season of the anime and has elements from the manga included in it. 

Origami10 edited this for me. Also takes some ideas from epic-potato-crisp’s idea. 

Kou continued to stare at the pale piece of paper in front of him in a state of shock and confusion. Was this real? Was it just a fucked-up dream, had Kei fed him some poisonous mushroom onigiri again? Tosaki was sitting across the table from him, leaned back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other with his typical scowl on, but the way he had his arms crossed over his chest… It didn’t seem like his usual haughty way, no it almost seemed like he was trying to protect himself.

Swallowing hard, the ajin scratched the back of his head. If this was real, how was he supposed to answer? It had only been a short time after the final battle with Sato. Everything was still being squared away in terms of the remaining members of their team deciding how to move on with their lives. Kei had a family waiting for him, but Kou, he had nothing. Hell, he didn’t even know if his parents were alive out there somewhere anymore.

It was probably three months ago, when he had last seen them, it had only been in passing as well, them returning to the apartment to gather a few things and then whisking off again to do god knows what. During that time, he had only assumed they were still alive because the rent was being paid for and the landlord and police had yet to come knocking.

Death due to negligence, it could be argued that Kou hadn’t died because of his paralyzing injury from his stupid laziness, but from his parents never checking in on him like a ‘normal’ family would. Then again, maybe he was destined from the beginning to not be normal, being an ajin and all.

Still he hadn’t expected… well had never imagined this of all things.

The adoption papers stared back at him.

“Are you for real?” �

This isn’t a father-son fic, and it is not a TosakiKou fic, it’s just genuinely Tosaki trying and somewhat failing to be a better person. Happy ending.  

Kou continued to stare at the pale piece of paper in front of him in a state of shock and confusion. Was this real? Was it just a fucked-up dream, had Kei fed him some poisonous mushroom onigiri again? Tosaki was sitting across the table from him, leaned back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other with his typical scowl on, but the way he had his arms crossed over his chest… It didn’t seem like his usual haughty way, no it almost seemed like he was trying to protect himself.

Swallowing hard, the ajin scratched the back of his head. If this was real, how was he supposed to answer? It had only been a short time after the final battle with Sato. Everything was still being squared away in terms of the remaining members of their team deciding how to move on with their lives. Kei had a family waiting for him, but Kou, he had nothing. Hell, he didn’t even know if his parents were alive out there somewhere anymore.

It was probably three months ago, when he had last seen them, it had only been in passing as well, them returning to the apartment to gather a few things and then whisking off again to do god knows what. During that time, he had only assumed they were still alive because the rent was being paid for and the landlord and police had yet to come knocking.

Death due to negligence, it could be argued that Kou hadn’t died because of his paralyzing injury from his stupid laziness, but from his parents never checking in on him like a ‘normal’ family would. Then again, maybe he was destined from the beginning to not be normal, being an ajin and all.

Still he hadn’t expected… well had never imagined this of all things.

The adoption papers stared back at him.

“Are you for real?” Kou’s voice was soft as he finally peeked up at the older man sitting before him. Tosaki flinched at the words, though he tried to hide it under a scoff, “You don’t have to agree to it, in fact even if you did the sign the papers we could treat it only as a background formality. Our current working relationship wouldn’t change. You’d be free to leave and do whatever you please, you’d just technically according to the law, be under my guardianship. Japan is still so lax about these things that you don’t even need to change your family name to mine.”

“I doubt you want to be constantly correcting people by saying ‘Tosaki’ instead of ‘Tozaki’.” The researcher muttered, pushing his glasses further up his nose with a small look of distain.

Now Kou really did feel like he had stumbled into the Twilight Zone, did Tosaki just make a joke, at his own expense to boot?! He really didn’t know what to think or say at the moment, instead ducking his head down so the older man couldn’t see his expression. A mixture of amusement from the jest, but also mounting frustration as he tried to figure out if this might be some trap. When did he start thinking so negatively? Perhaps he had been letting Kei rub off on him too much. Still since they had started to work together, the dark-haired ajin was also starting to warm up. Maybe there was some kind of give-and-take personality system for ajin he wasn’t aware of.

“Is this ‘cause of my meltdown earlier?” Kou grimaced as the memories came back, sure it was probably a bit of his fault since he had been brooding and avoiding almost everyone as the time marched closer to when they would all be parting ways. To be fair there was a lot to deal with and it wasn’t like anyone else was exactly ‘celebrating’. They had lost four great men to Sato’s homicidal rampage.  Not to mention all the other innocent and not so innocent bystanders that had been slaughtered by the terroristic group of immortals.

What would be done with the aptly named ‘Traitor Trio’: Takahashi, Gen, and Okuyama, had yet to be decided. Currently they were being held under lock and key in the base. By that, it meant that all three were wearing tracking collars around their necks. Sure they ‘could’ remove them by decapitating themselves, but all three seemed averse to the idea and wanted to turn over a new leaf. They had got what they wanted in terms of ajin rights, but not in the way that they had intended.

Ogura was probably going to continue doing research on ajin, though it didn’t seem like he was keen to return to the United States after everything that had happened. Izumi seemed determined to remain as Tosaki’s assistant, citing that it was her life to do with as she pleased now. Kei was making plans to return to his hometown, back to his mother and younger sister. Tosaki was being made into some kind of big shot and go to person for any more cases dealing with ajin.

Then there was Kou, he had nothing, absolutely jack-shit to welcome him back. It seemed like all the others had a purpose or some goal. Only Kou was left stagnant, it felt stifling knowing he was being left behind. He should be used to it, but in his dreams lately, he had found himself more often than not standing in a dark room. Lights would illuminate familiar figures in the distance, but always… always they would wink out of existence before he could reach them. Kuroki, Hirasawa, Manabe, and Suzumura were always the first to disappear, but the rest eventually followed. Each time it did it felt like a bullet was ripping through his chest, a sensation he had unfortunately become familiar with.

In the end, he was left alone.

In that quiet, sad, and frustrated mood Tosaki had found him outside the base a few days ago.

Typically, the older man would have just turned on his heel and walked the other way. The human had wanted to keep himself as far away from teenage drama and from gaining an attachment to any ajin. However, he had failed both aspects long before this moment.

Taking a deep breath before popping a few more mints into his mouth he approached the athletic ajin. The conversation had been far from smooth. Tosaki had asked what was bothering Kou and the light-haired boy had said it was ‘nothing’. ‘Nothing’ was never nothing, no matter how old you got and Tosaki had only rolled his eyes and pressed the other again.

Apparently only one more push was all it took as Kou ended up screaming at the human to mind his own fucking business. That, no, he shouldn’t be worried about him just because he had literally nothing waiting for him now that all this was over, that he wasn’t torn up over losing a man that acted like a ‘real’ father figure for him and some men that acted like his mentors and older brothers, that he was going to be parting with an asshole that he thought of as possibly more than a friend, and that he was in no way babbling all this because he was too stupid to keep his emotions and thoughts in check like Kei could.

After that large amount of word vomit, his confession seemed to have managed to catch up to the panting Kou as he felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He was so weak and pathetic, he couldn’t cry over the past forever. He knew, of he knew for certain that Tosaki was just going to give him an earful about respect and moving on or some other bullshit.

He couldn’t take that right, Kou just couldn’t and he quickly got to his feet and shuffled back into the building. Internally grateful that Tosaki seemed to be too stunned to call him back or chase after him. It was better for him to be left alone, he’d have to get used to it again anyway the ajin had assured himself.

The next three days, Kou had been able to successfully avoid Tosaki, Izumi tried to talk to him about how he was acting but was shaken off by his simple answer of not feeling well. The woman not wanting to push the younger boy when he was obviously uncomfortable left it at that. However him ignoring the girl he once openly fancy spoke of the severity of the depression he had slipped into.

Kei… wasn’t so easily dissuaded. The other ajin had used his IBM to knock the door to Kou’s room down when he had refused to answer it for him. With a loud, echoing bang, the door fell and Kou was left with the sight of the other teenager nonchalantly standing on the other side with a plate of food in his hand as he declared boredly, ‘Dinner’.

Of course, the food had been a ploy, a tool that Kei used to try and get Kou to open up. The intellectual was hardly what one needed in a therapist. Knowing that Kou didn’t say anything, even under the threat of disembowelment from Kei’s murder happy ghost. How could he tell Kei if he was linked to his problems? He couldn’t expect the other to drop everything and stay by his side. Kou felt it would be too much of a burden to ask if he could stay or follow Kei back to his hometown. Eventually the dark-haired ajin was forced to give up and left Kou’s room with a huff and mutter of ‘dumbass’.

It took Kou an hour to fix the door.

Eventually, the inevitable happened, Izumi told Kou that Tosaki was wanting to have a meeting with him in regards to payment for his services with helping to stop Sato. Worded like that, Kou really had no other choice but to drag his feet forward and report to the man’s office.

He had already been planning on denying any kind of money, he didn’t feel like he deserved it. After all, it was Kei that did most of the work. Also, as the days passed, the victory had started to feel more and more hollow to the usually upbeat ajin. Kou REALLY hadn’t been expecting adoption papers to be placed in front of him when he sat down.

But that’s how they ended up in the present.

“I know I’ve been working under you for a while now and fought beside you, but you did attempt to kill me several times. You hit me with a car and shot me, to name a few,” The ajin’s voice was a little hesitant, unsure if bringing up the past would somehow make the version of Tosaki he had first met reappear and put a bullet through his head.

“I’m not asking you to forget the past, or the wrongs that I’ve done to you or others,” The pale man took a deep breath, trying to swallow his pride was akin to swallowing a bowling ball. “And no, your little episode didn’t make me suddenly take pity on you.”

Or at least it wasn’t the only factor for him to be doing this. “I am trying to take responsibility for dragging you into this mess, I was the one that spotted you in the surveillance tape before we tracked you down. I also feel like leaving you to your own devices would become a public health concern.

“You getting yourself killed in some stupid way might incite a panic among the populace.”

“Thanks,” came the sarcastic remark as Kou ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots slightly as the pain helped to assure him that this was really happening. Still he couldn’t help chuckling, yeah that definitely sounded like the cynical bastard he knew. “I mean you’re definitely not old enough to be my old man, unless that white hair is from age and not stress.”

“You’re supposed to be the stupid one, when did you get clever?” Tosaki sniped back, the hair comment definitely rubbed a sore spot for him. He re-crossed his legs, why the hell was he feeling so anxious? Nakano had basically already refused his offer so why was he still pressing him? Tosaki should feel grateful for being let off the hook so easily, but no… If he didn’t try more, he knew the guilt would tear through him like wicked claws for years to come.

“I may have around a decade on you, but no I don’t expect us to have a typical father-son relationship. I’ve never wanted kids to begin with. Threats to the double ‘e’s in my opinion, economic and emotional liabilities.” Tosaki wondered briefly if he was using too big of words for Nakano to follow, before continuing.

“But this is different,” How was it different, besides the awkward circumstances, it was different because the human decided it was so.

“Uh huh, sure one isn’t for ‘ego’?” Kou answered, one brow raised as he crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring the older man’s actions unconsciously. He’d gotten that joke from Ogura.

Rubbing at his temples Tosaki took a deep breath to compose himself before reaching into the briefcase that was sitting off to the side. “I’m also doing this in a sense of duty, I feel like I owe the man this much. Even if he was originally just a hired gun. “

Slipping the form out of the sleek black leather, the form was slid across the table to lay beside that of the adoption papers. The kanji was written with a hasty hand, but the word stared boldly back at Kou ‘遺言’. The meaning making his heart tighten in his chest as he muttered, “It’s a will, whose…?”

Muddy red eyes scanned the paper quickly, fingers not daring to touch it as if it might crumple into a million pieces. “It’s the old man’s… Hirasawa’s.”

Tosaki only nodded his head, explaining as he tried not to flinch at the fact that he could see tears welling in the ajin’s eyes. He REALLY wasn’t good at this kind of thing; the best form of action was to ignore it and continue stating the facts. The man was good at that after all, “We only recently found it while going through the teams’ things, it’s his hand writing no faking that. Any money that he made from the work he said should go into a fund for both you and Kei to do with as you please. He made a final request of me.”

His foot twitched and shook his entire leg, but Tosaki couldn’t sit still. Continuing after popping a few more mints into his mouth, fuck he really needed a smoke, he hadn’t been this tense since the last battle. “Hirasawa asked me to make sure that you were looked after. He knew Kei had a family he could go back to, but was aware of your situation as well.”

“How… I never told anyone about it besides Nagai?” Then the memories came rushing forth, the first time he had met Hirasawa and the other mercenaries was at his apartment. The place was a disaster zone with only him living there most of the time and it was more than likely they had done their research about him before hunting him down. He remembered how he had warned Hirosawa to either let him go or be electrocuted with him. No one on Tosaki’s force had had particularly good first introductions.

There was a lump in Kou’s throat as he brought a hand up to wipe his tears, he didn’t want to cry anymore. He’d already mourned, screamed, and cried enough. Or at least he had thought so. But the hot salty rivers continued to slip through his fingers as he leaned his head back. As if somehow the force of gravity would keep them inside. His lower lip was drawn between his teeth in an attempt to, literally, bite back sobs, a small trail of blood slid down his chin as he finally broke skin.

Too many emotions were rolling through him, the ajin finally grinding out as he kept his gaze on the ceiling, “I don’t want to be pitied.”

“This isn’t pity. You should know me well enough by now to know I don’t dole out such a thing to anybody.”

“Then what the hell is this?! You looked at Nagai and I like we were the scum of the earth for the longest time. I had never been given any breaks when it came to training, unlike him! Sure, I acted all friendly and stuff to all of them, but I didn’t think I had made that much of an impression.” Maybe this was just another sick twist of fate, maybe he would have been better off trying to isolate himself like the other ajin. But Kei had been just as rocked by their deaths, even if he didn’t show it publicly.

Kou had heard the dark-haired teenager’s sobs when passing by his room late at night. He had wanted to go to him, but Kei seemed like a guy who preferred to mourn alone. Honestly, Kou had been too afraid to open the door for many reasons. He believed that seeing the other break down might be a fatal blow for the athletic boy’s heart.

“It’s love,” the word tasted and felt strange in Tosaki’s mouth after going so long without uttering it. Kou’s hands fell at the word, hands dropping to his lap as he gave the man his oh so typical stupid-looking dumbfounded expression. Tosaki tried to be patient, really, he was, but now he was drumming his fingers across his forearms.

Closing his eyes, Tosaki remembered the faces of the men they missed, the creases to his brow relaxing slightly as he spoke, “Hirasawa and that whole team of hardasses, loved you. They should have had a distain for you being an ajin and a former target, but there’s something about you that makes people unable to hate you. Hell, even Nagai is tolerable to be around when you are.”

Tosaki adjusted his glasses as he mused aloud to himself, “Maybe we should ask Ogura if this is related to some strange ajin power, or if it’s just unique to you as a person.”

The ajin continued to stare at the other, warmth spreading throughout him at the odd praise, to hear he was appreciated, needed, loved, that’s all he had ever wanted. He had so often thought that he was an unnecessary person during and after his first death. He had continued to think so until he decided to stand up to Sato. Still the feeling was bittersweet, after all, those men were dead and gone. Still Tosaki was going through this trouble, and it was obviously not just because he felt it was his duty. Maybe that was what made him cocky enough to ask, with a smirk and cooing voice, “Do you love me, Tosaki?”

“I don’t hate you. But I could still dunk you in a tank of formaldehyde.”

That was the same amount of vagueness and bluntness that Kou had come to expect from the human. A small laugh coming from his lips as he knew this was absolutely ridiculous.

“And you don’t care that I’m an ajin?” the question was quick, eyes narrowed as he looked for any sign of lies. Not that he could pick out sarcasm half of the time. Still Kou would have to trust his instincts, he’d always been a good judge of people and better at reading emotions than analyzing words or texts.

“Honestly, you being a freak makes it more convenient for me, I don’t have to worry about you going out and literally getting yourself killed because you’ll just come back.” Tosaki reasoned, a smirk playing across his lips while the immortal looked a bit scandalized by the bluntness of it.

“Ouch, okay what about me being an idiot? Being such a Brainiac, it must drive you crazy, right?” Kou had dropped out of high school and felt like most of what he did learn had long bled out of his ears. He had common sense and a good body, it had helped secure him with a job when his parents started coming around less and less.

“I plan on having you tutored and finishing school online, I’ll force knowledge into that husk you call a brain if it kills you.” The ajin’s cheeks reddened with anger, chest puffing up in preparation to yell when Tosaki took the wind out of his sails, “You don’t get a choice in the matter, don’t you want to stand on par with Nagai?”

It was a low blow, but it had Kou slumping back in his chair with a whine.

“What about the fact that I’m-“

“That’s enough questions. I, Tosaki Yu, promise to accept you Nakano Kou as you are and promise to be your guardian in the honor of a great man and to make up for the sins I committed on your race. Happy?” That hardly sounded sincere, but it was probably the best that Kou was going to get out of the other.

Still even if the words were laced with exasperation and sarcasm, there was a firmness to his bright blue eyes that made the ajin believe that Tosaki was going to follow through on this promise. Kou had learned long ago it was better not to test his patience… or touch his mints.

“Now, are we going to play this depraved version of house in this secret base or not?” Having two ajin on Tosaki’s side would make matters dealing with others of the same species much easier. The government was still in a mess as it tried to straighten out everything that had been caused by Sato and the American forces. Trying to seamlessly secure rights for ajin was much trickier to uphold rather than say. After all, other countries could easily send in people that would try to capture and smuggle ajins out of the country to be used for their own profit. They were an expensive commodity on the black market.

Kou and Izumi at his side would hopefully make other ajin feel secure enough to come out of hiding so they could be registered and in doing so maybe protect them if they were found where they didn’t belong. Also, if there was an ajin criminal or, gods forbid it, another terrorist attack, having someone that couldn’t die, or well more accurately, couldn’t stay dead was definitely a useful tool.

Still even with all these political, social, and job related benefits, Tosaki would still accept it if Kou set a condition that he wanted nothing more to do with the darker side of the world. He deserved some peace after everything that had happened. The human’s musing was interrupted as Kou finally answered, voice firm and holding no hesitation.

“Okay.”

“Fine, it’s settled then.” Tosaki slid the pen across the table and watched as the younger male sloppily signed his name in each place that a pale finger indicated.

It was only once the document was completed and slid safely into his briefcase that Tosaki finally felt the weight on his chest and shoulders alleviate. That was far more stressful than he imagined it would be. Still it felt like it was worth it, sure Kou drove him insane most of the time, but after the ajin had become withdrawn and solemn, he realized the world was far more quiet and gloomy than before.

Tosaki had become accustomed to the energetic teenager’s presence, doing this also secured a continued sense of normalcy for Tosaki. How could he work without getting up at least twice in the middle of the night to yell at Kou to turn down his shitty music before he put bullet holes through his stereo? Yes, this was completely for the older man’s own benefit.

Of course, the peaceful silence between them had to be ruined.

“So, since you’re all accepting of everything about me and shit. You don’t care that I might have the hots for Nagai, right?”

“…You’re grounded.”