#that said I’m just going to tell myself that means everybody gets paid fairly

[boneless-mika]

Looking at Espresso House’s app and genuinely love that one of the customizations you can make is “less flavor”

[simonthechaste]

Shoe smooching successfully completed

Thank you everybody for commenting on my question of whether I should kiss my cute co-worker's shoes. As you can read from the title, I did as all of you suggested and gave both a good kiss. And it felt so good.

I did wait a bit before doing so, though. This week was a bit rough, work wise so I thought to myself, what a better way to reward myself, than doing it only after the week was over, right before I left the workplace on Friday.

It did feel a bit curious going to the filthy toilet during the week though. I had done my decision now and I knew I would get to kiss them, or would have to kiss them, however one likes to look at it, because I had made the whole thing public.

And I swear, the calling of the shoes laying on the disgusting toilet floor got louder and louder all through the week. Almost as if they had known my predicament and were taunting me. It was so weird, I can tell you.

On Friday, after the day was done, I finally stepped stepped into the toilet, took the shoes into my hand and gave each one a long, long kiss with my eyes closed and thinking of my colleague.

I could have never believed how good it would feel. It was almost as if she was still wearing the shoes, or at least was present, watching me do it. I don't think I have ever felt being so close to her.

Only recently I realized this also mean me losing the shoe kissing virginity. At least I am fairly certain this was the first time I got to do it.

The story continues, though. The thing is, on Friday I managed also to talk myself an extra shift on Saturday with my colleague. Naturally I won't be paid for that time either, and it also meant my weekend will be one day long, but I must say it was totally worth it.

The day was great. It was busy, sure, and we were working our asses off, as the saying goes. But at the same time we were constantly kidding with each other, and the day just flew by. If every day was like that I would feel guilty if I got paid.

The reason I took the extra shift was in fact a comment I got on chat, that I must do my best not to constantly stare at her feet the next time I see her. And since we don't normally work together I felt an extra shift with her was needed,

And I did manage not to stare at her feet, I'm proud to say. When the Saturday shift was over and we were both getting our things she finally headed to toilet, saying something like: "And I will get my shoes now, before any of you get to idea of start sniffing them."

"Oh man, wouldn't that be something", I replied to her jokingly. "Yes, but now it's too late, muahhahaha!", she continued in equally joking manner, and I replied: "Bummer!" You should have seen the smile I had on my face afterwards when she wasn't looking.

In the back of my mind I did regret I hadn't think of smelling the shoes as well, when I had the chance. Then again, kissing the shoes is just as intimate and humiliating as smelling them, perhaps even more so?

So, it's been quite a week. Thinking back, I could go as far as to say that the whole shoe kissing escapade was the most erotic and sexual thing that has happened to me in the course of past five years or so.

It's hard to say what my colleague would think if she knew about all this. As far as I know, she is kinky, even though more on the submissive side. Knowing her though, I feel the most I think she would have done would have been an eye roll and a chuckle.

However, as I said earlier, I don't want her to know, because the last thing I want is for her to do is to think of me as yet another stalker. She has had those, and she has to deal with unwanted attention daily. She is now a happy relationship and I want nothing but best for her.

Unfortunately, like all good things have a habit of doing at some point, my time at the workplace is soon coming to an end. However, I am super thankful of the time I have been allowed to spend with her. I really am.

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Can’t get over her

Word count: 5010     

Genre: A little angst with a little fluff

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader 

Warnings: Little bit of swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Summary: Reader has always had a bit of a crush on Natasha but it’s unrequited. She lets Tony and Wanda take her to a club and Nat starts acting differently.

A/N: This is not a request, I just felt like writing this story. I’m super nervous about this because I’m not sure if it’s very good but I thought I would post it in case anyone is interested. This is my first x reader fic and first Natasha/Marvel fic so I wasn’t sure how to write it. That being said I hope you enjoy, and if you do, I’m always open to take requests! Btw this is completely unimportant but even though this fic is a medium length, it’s the longest story I’ve actually completed so I feel proud of myself for that!

“Y/n!” A voice rang out loudly disrupting your sleep. 

“Ughhhh,” you groaned, “what do you want?” Instead of an answer the door to your room gets thrown open loudly, allowing all the light to come in. You bury yourself under the blankets, partly to stop your eyes from seeing the light and partly to hide the fact that you were wearing Avengers themed pyjamas. 

“Rise and shine sweetheart!” You hear Tony’s voice mock. Reluctantly you poke your head out of the blankets just enough so you can see and squint at your best friend/mentor just in time to see him rush off, probably to wake up another unfortunate avenger. When you first joined you never expected to like Tony at all, much less consider him your best friend or look up to him. You had heard rumors of him being inappropriate with women and while his jokes most certainly were and you did occasionally catch him staring at your boobs he never did anything creepy to make you uncomfortable and inside he was a good man, way more so than you expected.

All that in mind you decide to get out of bed to see why Tony woke you up because he (probably) wouldn’t wake you up for no reason. Taking a minute to change out of the avenger pyjamas and into some clothes as well as brush your hair you wander downstairs. On the way down you bump into Clint who unlike you has made absolutely no effort to look presentable and looks like he just rolled out of bed. You say a quick hello but he just grunts in return, not even looking at you. Inwardly laughing about how much Clint hates to be awake in the morning you continue downstairs to meet up with the rest of the avengers who are varying degrees of awake. Most seemed to be like you; awake and fairly alert but not happy about it. Clint was probably the most asleep and Tony the most awake considering he was practically bouncing off the walls. Looking around you see everyone except for Thor and Natasha. Thor wasn’t there very often because he wasn’t from earth and Natasha usually avoided group activities at all costs to your displeasure since you had a secret (not very secret) crush on the assassin. 

“So why did you wake us up, at an ungodly hour may I add, and bring us down here?” You ask Tony, curious.

“That information is above your clearance level.” He replies somewhat sarcastically. 

“Does anybody else know what is going on?” you ask. “Or did Tony wake me up for no reason, in which case I’m going back to bed.” They all shift guiltily on their feet except for Clint who seems to be still too tired to pay attention leading you to believe they are all up to something you wouldn’t like. Nobody answers your question so you glare around the room, your eyes landing on Steve. He almost squirms under your gaze and eventually seems to give in.

“I’m sorry Y/N, this wasn’t my idea and thinking back on it we probably shouldn’t-”

“We are giving you a makeover and finding you a date.” Tony cuts Steve off.

“Seriously??!??!??” You half shout. “What makes you think I want to go on some random date you guys set up? If I want to go on a date I can find one myself.”

“Y/N…” Wanda says softly, reminding you to stay calm.

“Don’t Y/n me,” you say, still angrily yet quieter, “I can find my own dates, thank you very much.” Tony gives a small snort of laughter in response to this.

“Sure you can kid. I mean it’s not like you haven’t been on a date in over two years. Or that you’re harboring a crush for our resident scary assassin that prevents you from dating others.” You glare at him but stay silent because all of what he said is true. In your head you excuse the not dating off as being busy because you are a hero yet almost everybody on the team is dating someone and it all seems to be working out fine.

“Look Y/n,” Tony says softly which is a rarity for him, “I know you wish something could happen between you and Romanoff but it hasn’t happened yet and likely never will. You need to get over her and back out there. Besides we weren’t planning on choosing your date for you, we were just planning to go clubbing later with you.”

“Ok,” you agree begrudgingly, “I’ll do it, I just don’t see the need to wake me up at 7 in the morning if we aren’t going out until tonight. Also does everybody need to be here right now?” 

“I second that,” Clint says in a voice still rough from sleep, “just because I helped planning a little bit does not mean I had to wake up early to have this conversation. I’m going back to bed.” 

Wanda rolls her eyes at him before turning to you, “No not everyone has to be here right now, Tony just got a little over excited. As for you, as we said we are giving you a makeover which means we have to go to the hair appointment I set up plus I was thinking we could go shopping since we almost never have time to. Besides Natasha gets back from her solo mission sometime later today, so we wanted to talk with you when she wasn’t around.”

“Ok,” you respond with a little bit of excitement, “when do we leave?”

“Right now! We can have brunch while we’re out!” 

“Yes and then we can go get our nails done and gossip!” Tony says in a fake voice. Both you and Wanda turn to look at him exasperated. “Ok fine, maybe not but I am coming and we are gossiping. Also I need to find a good birthday present for Pepper’s birthday next week.”

“Well that’s good you’re coming because unless you want the same reaction as last year, you’re going to need a lot of help.” Wanda replies. You laugh a little as the three of you leave the tower, Wanda and Tony continuing their mock argument about Tony’s gift giving skills. 

Five hours later and you severely regretted going along with their plan. You were already exhausted and still had so much to do before going clubbing. You had already bought an outfit plus a few others which wouldn’t be so bad except Wanda and Tony made you try on what you believed to be the whole store before they seemed satisfied with your look. You had also gotten your nails done and were currently finishing up a lovely brunch which consisted of waffles, maple syrup and some fruits. That would have been enjoyable if not for the fact that Tony and Wanda alternated between nagging you about not chipping a nail and teasing you about your pathetic love life. It was a well known fact in the tower that while they didn’t hate each other, Tony and Wanda didn’t usually get along well but that was probably for the best since together they were ruthless. They seemed to have decided that the time for brunch was over so sighing you followed them out of the restaurant after Tony paid the bill. That’s the one positive at least, all of it was free for you thanks to Tony. 

Another five hours later and you could honestly say you were looking forward to the night more than you thought you would. You were currently looking in the mirror in your room and although usually you tended to be indifferent towards your body, sometimes even insecure, you had to admit that you looked pretty hot. The dress was in the perfect colour to bring out your eyes according to Wanda and although it was the perfect balance between classy and slutty, revealing a bit of skin and showing off your assets while still leaving it to the imagination. You also were carrying a black purse which matched your nails and shoes. Your makeup was perfectly done, naturally showing you beauty but adding a little extra glimmer. The thing you were most proud of however and the most noticeable change you had made was your hair. Before you had hair that when completely straight could reach your waist but now it was barely long enough to tuck behind your ears. When you first got to the hair salon you were planning on just trimming it and straightening in it but when you got in the chair something came over you and you just decided to chop it all off. 

BANG! The door to your room barges open and Wanda comes flying in. 

“Damn girl! You look hot as fuck!” You blush profusely at her words managing to stammer out a thank you. You have never been good at taking compliments because you always get a little shy and awkward. 

Tony pokes his head around the doorframe and gives a whistle. “You are smoking hot Y/n, I mean if I didn’t have Pepper I would be all over you. You ready to go?” Not waiting for an answer he turns and starts towards the elevator. You follow but not before exchanging an eye roll with Wanda about Tony’s words. The elevator ride is short and smooth thanks to Tony’s engineering so you don’t have enough time to succumb to the urge of placing your hands on the bars and pushing while lifting your feet. The elevator beeps, Jarvis informing  you that you’ve reached the ground level and the doors open. You step out ready to get on with your night but the sight of Natasha just back from a mission freezes you in your tracks. 

“Hi,” you say lamely, “I thought you were supposed to get back earlier today?”

“We had some intel that wasn’t fully correct but luckily it didn’t take too long to fix. You look different, where are you heading off to?”

You glance at Tony and Wanda for help because for some reason you feel awkward telling her but they don’t seem to know what you want so you answer anyways. “We’re going clubbing, I’m kinda nervous since I haven’t been in awhile but Wanda helped me get ready-”

“Hey I helped too!”

You ignore Tony’s protest and continue to speak. “-and I think it should be fun. Also there will for sure be hot girls there which is always a plus.”  

“Seems like it should be fun,” she responds in her monotone ‘I don’t care’ voice that you hate, “Good luck with the girls though, because your hair looked better long, I don’t like it like this.” You don’t usually get offended easily but you feel tears spring to your eyes at her comment. The only good part is that she doesn’t notice because she’s already walking away, swaying her hips, either not knowing or caring that she hurt you.

Tony and Wanda rush over to you. “Oh sweetie,” Wanda comforts while wrapping an arm around you, “don’t listen to her, that’s not true at all!”

“Then why would she say it?” You ask, careful to keep your voice from cracking because you hated showing when you were upset.

“I don’t know and honestly I don’t give a fuck.” Tony replies. “Just don’t think about it too much, the whole point of this night is to get over her anyways.” You give him a small smile at that. Tony is good with words which translates into being good at comforting people. You know he’s right so although the comment is still upsetting you do your best to push it out of your mind. Locking arms with both Tony and Wanda you pull them towards the door and into the waiting limo. You couldn’t help but smile at the way Tony ruffled your hair as you stepped in or how Wanda kept running her fingers over her arm in an attempt to be reassuring. You had the best friends. 

The ride over seemed way shorter than it was supposed to be and before you knew it the limo was stopped to let the three of you out. You take a deep breath and wipe your sweaty palms on your dress before smiling and stepping out after Tony and Wanda. Nobody seems to have noticed the three of you yet which was a good thing. Being Avengers Tony and Wanda were pretty much celebrities and often got swarmed by groups of fans. Technically you were an avenger as well but like Natasha and Clint it was only because you were a Shield so while you did get recognized it wasn’t as often and only tended to happen if you were with other avengers. You make your way inside, splitting from Tony and Wanda at the door. The plan was for them to go to the bar and look over you from there while you went straight to the dance floor because you preferred to be anonymous tonight and they would ruin that and also you didn’t feel like getting drunk. That was the plan at least but you suspected that they would get too drunk to continue watching over you because it had been stressful lately with a lot of paperwork and they needed to unwind. Wanda had practically confirmed that fact when she gave you permission to leave without them. 

You step over to the dance floor glancing around to see if there looked to be any single women already there. The reason you had chosen this club was because although it wasn’t lgbtq+ exclusive, it was open to everybody and therefore frequented by many members of the community. 

Just as you were glancing around you felt a tap on your shoulder. “Wanna dance?” You spin around to find the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen, apart from Natasha. It bothers you that you’re using Natasha as your standard and comparing other girls to her but you brush that off. 

“I would love to!” At your response she takes your hand, pulling you into the crowd and starts to dance. You dance as well and slowly you lose track of time as you loosen up and your dancing with the girl becomes less and less innocent. You can feel yourself caring less about what Natasha thought although as great as this girl seemed to be you knew you weren’t ready for a relationship so you hoped she wasn’t looking for one. After what could be a couple of hours because you’ve completely lost track of time, you and the girl whose name you still don’t know head over to a corner of the room and take a seat on two of the stools that were provided. 

“Hi, I feel like I should know your name by now, I’m Y/n.” You introduce yourself. 

“Wait I thought you looked familiar!” She exclaims. “You’re the Y/n that’s a part of the avengers right?” 

You awkwardly give a nod and gesture towards the bar where you can see Tony and Wanda who have obviously had at least a few drinks each. “Tony and Wanda came with me. They are just over there but I didn’t particularly want the spotlight tonight so I split from them at the door.” 

“I understand, I must admit I have no desire to be famous. I’m Jamie by the way” She says with a cute little giggle before her mood seems to be more solemn. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to a literal avenger and if my friends find out they are going to kill me but I’m sorry if you’re looking for a relationship but I just got out of a serious relationship and am not ready for another one quite yet.” 

You let out a relieved sigh. “I’m not looking for a relationship either, because I’m trying to get over my feelings for a friend.” 

“Phew!” She replies. “But tell me more about this ‘friend’ of yours.” You take a minute to think before deciding that Jamie could be trusted. You begin to spill all about your feelings for Natasha and how she didn’t seem interested and what she said to you on your way here. Jamie listens sympathetically the entire time before telling you all about how she thought her ex was the one but it turns out she was emotionally abusive. Even though you just met you talk like old friends, offering advice on serious topics but also chatting about random things. You have 3 more drinks each and after every drink your barriers crumble more and more. Eventually you exchange numbers so you can meet up again although you both agreed it would be a platonic meetup. Just as you were giggling about a joke you couldn’t even remember, you saw Jamie tense up and a second later you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turn your head in anger expecting it to be some creepy guy trying to hit on you but it turns to confusion when you see Natasha. 

“Can we talk?” She asks, giving Jamie a dirty look. “At the tower. Without her.” 

“Why?” You ask. “I’m having fun here Nat.” You specifically say her name as you speak so Jamie knows who you’re talking to. 

“Just come home.” She says not answering your question, instead tugging at your wrist lightly. You sigh not knowing what to do so you glance at Jamie for help. 

She shrugs and then says, “I have a ride home planned if you want to leave, but I wouldn’t mind staying longer if that’s what you want.”

You make a quick decision in your head before responding, “Ok, we’ll go back to the tower but there better be a good reason.” You then turn to Jamie, “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe, and then we can figure out when to hang out.”

“Of course,” she agrees leaning forwards to hug you while whispering in your ear, “good luck but remember not to let her treat you badly just because you’re in love with her.” You pull back from the hug and smile at her as Natasha’s hand moves down to your own as she starts walking, pulling you along with her. You can barely think straight, you have no idea what is going on with Natasha or why she’s acting so weirdly. You glance over to Tony and Wanda to see if they’ve noticed what’s going on but just as you suspected they were drunk out of their minds. If they were normal friends you would have worried about them but you knew Tony’s drivers would get them home safe because although Tony was more responsible with Pepper around this was not the first time they’ve had to haul his drunk ass back to the tower. 

Natasha continues to pull you out the door and over to her parked motorcycle where she hands you a helmet and one of her leather jackets. Still not speaking she hops on and motions for you to get on behind her. You swing your leg over the side somewhat awkwardly and scoot forwards so you can grab onto her waist. Once she’s sure you’re secured properly she hits the gas, the motorcycle roaring as it starts. You’ve never been on her motorcycle before so at first you are a bit nervous but after a couple of minutes you start to feel more comfortable. At this point your only nerves come from holding Natasha and wondering what she wants to talk to you about and not the motorcycle ride. Compared to the ride over to the club, this ride feels like it’s taking forever as you start to go over all the important reasons Nat would want to talk to you. You still didn’t know how to feel about everything because she insulted you earlier and now is making you feel important. To protect your feelings you tell yourself that there is probably a mission or a meeting that came up last minute and this isn’t just Natasha wanting to talk. It’s improbable because if that was the case she would have outright said so but you can’t think of any more plausible reasons off the top of your head. Luckily before you can analyze her strange behavior anymore you reach the tower and after parking underground you follow Natasha upstairs into the main living area which is obviously deserted as it is now between 3 and 4 am. 

“So why did you want to talk?” You ask, breaking the silence as you take a seat on the couch. 

“Why did you go to a club?” She asks, also sitting down on the other end of the couch, avoiding your question. 

A surge of anger floods through you and while you don’t shout, you raise your voice a little. “Answer the fucking question Nat. Or did you bring me all the way back just to ask that?” 

She looks somewhat surprised that you raised your voice but she keeps hers even. “I just wanted to know. It looked like you were having fun with whoever that girl is.” 

“Yeah I was.” You respond, still confused. “But how do you know that?” 

Natasha avoids eye contact looking everywhere but you. “I was watching you.” 

“YOU WERE WHAT?” You shout before lowering your voice to avoid waking up the whole tower. “Why the fuck were you spying on me?”  

“I- I wasn’t.” She replies seemingly caught off guard by your tone of voice. “I wanted to make sure you were safe.” 

“Tony and Wanda were with me.” You respond confused. There’s something she’s not telling you that’s making her act weird. She knew you could handle yourself so she obviously was not telling the truth, or at least omitting details. She hasn’t responded to your last statement, instead choosing to look at you in the weird way she does that makes you feel like you’re being interrogated. You decide that if she isn’t going to talk, you won’t either so you pull your phone out of your jacket to check it. You see a text from Jamie saying she got home ok with a little smiley face at the end that causes you to smile. You type back a quick reply, just saying you’re glad she’s safe and that you were with Natasha right now and were probably going to bed soon so you’d text her tomorrow. She wished you luck and goodnight with another little smiley face that made you smile again. Putting your phone away you look back up at Natasha only to find out she’s glaring at you. 

Unsure of what could have changed her attitude towards you, you ask, “What?”

“Who were you talking to?” She asks ignoring your question for the second time tonight. 

You sigh, “I don’t see how it’s any of your business but if you really must know I was just saying goodnight to the girl from the club, Jamie.”

“So that’s her name.” She says wrinkling her nose. Now you’re really confused as to what Natasha is thinking. You couldn’t tell on normal days but usually she acted rationally and never was like this. 

“Why do you say it like that?” You ask. 

“I don’t like her.”

“Why don’t you like her?” 

“I just don’t.” She answers, offering no explanation. Although you do want to find out why Natasha doesn’t like her you’re too tired to spend the time asking questions so you stand up to go to bed. 

“Where are you going?” She demands. 

You sigh for what feels like the thousandth time of the night. “I’m going to bed. You wanted to talk to me but won’t actually talk, and when I ask you questions, instead of responding you insult my new friend.”

“Friend?” She questions.

“Jamie.” You say confused because you thought the answer was obvious. 

“Oh.” She responds, “I’m sorry, please stay.” You think about it for a second, deciding to stay so you go to sit down again, but before you do Natasha scoots over to your end of the couch pulling you down into her side. Your entire body freezes up because you’re so unsure of what to do. Natasha never initiated physical contact of any kind but now she was practically hugging you. Seeming to realize how uncomfortable you were, she quickly moves away.

“Sorry,” she mutters, “That was stupid.”

“No, no, it’s fine, you can come back.” You respond quickly. As much as you were uncomfortable, it felt really nice to have her by your side. She somewhat shyly shifts back over to you but this time instead of wrapping her arm around your shoulders she nuzzles into your side, maneuvering your arms so they wrap around her. You have no idea what’s going on right now but you can’t help but smile as you look down at her. She looks cute and relaxed, with her hair covering parts of her face. Thinking about her hair reminds you of her opinion of your new haircut. You bite your lip nervously as you debate asking her about that or not. You definitely don’t want to ruin the cuddly mood that she’s in now but the comment still bothers you, not to mention you never actually found out why she took you home from the club.

“Um Natasha?” You ask in a timid voice. “Is my haircut really that bad?” 

“Of course not, I think it suits you.” She responds smoothly. “I lied to you earlier.”

You smile at that. “Thank you but why?”

She takes a deep shaky breath before speaking. “Promise this won’t change anything between us first, that we will stay friends.” 

“Ok,” You respond, earnest but confused, “I promise.”

“I didn’t like the idea of you going clubbing and coming home with some one night stand or even worse a girlfriend because I have feelings for you. So I was childish and took out my frustrations on you by pretending I didn’t like you. I’m sorry.” She’s looking up at you now, the most nervous you’ve ever seen her. Your mind is exploding with this new information and your heart feels so happy you can’t even believe what is going on. 

“Is that why you were watching me with Jamie at the club and then told me you had to talk to me?”

“Yeah”

After a few more seconds of shocked silence that feels like hours to Natasha you finally speak. “I know I promised that this wouldn’t change anything between us but I don’t think it can be the same.” She starts to pull away from your side but before she can you lean over and press your lips against hers. At first you are hesitant but once she starts kissing back you gain confidence, the kiss getting more heated. After a minute or two you both pull away to catch your breath, smiling at each other. 

Natasha lightly swats you on the arm. “You’re evil.” You giggle a little in response. “I was so worried for a second there, I thought you would be weirded out by that.” She continues also giggling slightly. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t know that I had feelings for you,” you confess to her, “it was actually Tony and Wanda’s idea for me to go out because we all thought you didn’t like me so they thought it was a good idea to get over you.”

“Well that plan failed,” she says smirking, “I guess you can’t get over me.” 

You look at her and yawn. “No I guess I can’t.” 

At your yawn she glances at the clock. “We better get you to bed, it’s almost the time Steve wakes up for training.” You would like to spend more time with Natasha but you’re too tired to argue so you just nod and follow her as she pulls you up and leads you to your room, holding your hand the whole way. Inside your room she sits on your bed while you change, politely looking away. Once you’re in pyjamas you hold a pair out to her and she looks at you confused. 

“Do you want to stay the night?” You ask her. She eagerly nods, accepting the pyjamas as you open your covers and crawl into bed. As soon as she’s done she turns off the lights and hops in behind you, spooning you. You sigh as you feel her plant a kiss on the back of your head. You can barely keep your eyes open and although you still haven’t talked about exactly what your new relationship with Natasha was yet, you were excited for what was to come. Your last thought before you drifted off to sleep was complete bliss as Natasha kept planting soft kisses on the back of your neck, head and shoulders. 

The next morning you hear a loud pounding at your door. You groan and slowly gain consciousness, smiling as you remember last night and the redhead still cuddling you. Just like yesterday Tony doesn’t bother to wait for you to answer and instead barges straight in. His eyes widen when he sees the two of you spooning and he starts to splutter. You laugh at him with Natasha until he shouts for the other avengers to come. Multiple pairs of footsteps make your way to your bedroom and you see the shocked faces of a few of the other avengers, including Wanda, Steve and Clint. 

“What,” Natasha says speaking up, “can’t a girl cuddle with her girlfriend in peace?” Steve immediately apologizes, ushering everyone out of the room and closing the door. 

You raise your eyebrow. “Girlfriends?”

“I assumed so, if you want.” She responds. 

“I like the sound of that...girlfriend.” You both smile at each other. You definitely did not complete your goal of getting over Natasha and instead fell further in love but you were totally ok with that.

[7-wonders]

Circling the Drain

Summary: It's a race against time...wait, why do people say that? It's not a race against some outside force, it's a race against a crazed back-from-the-dead mafioso with a vengeance.

Word Count: 3454

A/N: I tried something a little different for this chapter in terms of formatting, mainly because there was so much I wanted to fit in different POVS. Uhhhhh let me know your thoughts and like, comments and reblogs make my world go round. ALSO that second gif is exactly how I imagine a certain scene (you'll know it when you read it).

Warnings: Very torture heavy chapter. Blood, torture methods, guns, knives, kidnappings, talk of death. You should probably go pet some puppies or kittens after you read this.

Previous chapters of Memento Mori: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Duncan

It’s difficult to know how much time has passed since Duncan was last outside of this small concrete room. There’s no windows to let light in, no clocks to denote the hour, and no sort of schedule that he can catch on to. Although, even if there were a schedule, he would be too delirious from sleep deprivation to realize that there was one. The only thing that Duncan can count on is the unending torture at the hands of his uncle.

All of the crisis training in the world wouldn’t have prepared him for the physical and mental torture that he’s been put through. Though he doesn’t know it, it’s been almost seventy-two hours of this absolute hell, of Bill beating him black and blue, taunting him, slowly ripping out fingernails one by one (somehow, he still has six, though one of the six is just barely hanging on), refusing to let him sleep, and tasing him back to consciousness whenever he tries to close his eyes. This most recent time, the throbbing of his head had begged him enough to where he finally closed his eyes, only to be jolted up with a rush of electricity running through his body and seizing his muscles.

“You still think you’re getting out of it that easy, huh? That you can fall asleep and bide your time until you’re ‘rescued?’” Bill chuckles. “No, it’s not that easy.”

“Just kill me already, if that’s what you’re planning on,” Duncan says through clenched teeth, glaring up at Bill through the one eye that’s not completely swollen shut.

“Is that what you want? You want me to kill you?” His obviously-fake concern would enough to make bile rise in Duncan’s throat, if he had actually had anything left in his stomach.

“You want me to beg for it, don’t you?”

“I guess I underestimated you. Turns out you do have some sort of critical thinking skills.”

Duncan defiantly turns his head, refusing to give Bill what he wants. Realizing this, Bill begins to walk towards the door. As he does, going to flick off the single light bulb in this place, Duncan’s chest tightens in anticipation of the claustrophobia he’ll surely begin to feel (most likely a side-effect of what he’s gone through, considering he’s never been scared of dark spaces before) and he scrambles to stall him. “So why are you keeping me alive?”

Bill stops for a moment before slowly turning around. “I already told you.”

“No, I know that you want revenge. But what’s your plan? Why waste your time? Surely you’ll at least give me the honor of knowing what I’m dying for?”

His jaw clenches, not pleased with that last question, but he doesn’t hit Duncan. Yet. “I’m taking back what’s mine, and then some.”

“And you think Mom’s going to be okay with that?”

“Your poor mother is going to be more than okay with that when she finds out that the Coven killed her only child.”

Slowly, it dawns on Duncan. “You’re the one that’s been killing people in the Coven���s style and leaving them in our territory?”

“Of course I am!” Bill holds his arms out as if to say ‘tah-dah!’ “Cordelia Goode would never be so bold as to do that! But after I kill you, drain you of your blood, cut your tongue out, dump you in the Potomac, and reappear into society, people won’t care about that little fact. Especially after I reveal that it was the Coven that prompted me to fake my own death and go into hiding for years.”

“How long were you planning this?”

“About a year before you stabbed me, when I realized that you were far too…” he grits his teeth, “charismatic to not end up with the family business eventually. That’s why I always made sure that the police and paramedics were well-paid, just in case the day ever came that I needed them to lie on my behalf.”

“You have it all planned then, so why not just do it and kill me now?”

“Well, there are a couple of minor issues I still need to work out.” Bill glances at Duncan slyly. “Such as what to do with that girlfriend of yours.”

In a flash, Duncan sees red. He lunges, forgetting the fact that he’s chained to the radiator and can only go so far until his ankle is jerked violently and he falls back to the ground. “You leave her alone, she’s done nothing wrong!”

“You’re right, she hasn’t, but (Y/N) knows too much.”

Duncan’s heart skips a beat when he realizes that Bill (predictably) knows more than he should.

“I’m thinking a suicide? It’s very believable, what with the grieving girlfriend and all.” Bill steps forward and, ever so slowly, places his foot on one of Duncan’s hands. “Maybe she slits her wrists in the bath? It’s very easy to overpower someone when they’re vulnerable. Or perhaps she overdoses? That’s not my preferred method, though, far too much room for someone to survive an overdose. Tell me, Duncan, how would you prefer that she die?” With each possible method, Bill continues to lay more pressure on Duncan’s hand until Duncan is moaning in pain.

“Don’t...hurt her,” Duncan pants.

Bill finally removes his foot, giving Duncan a moment to breathe before he stomps on his hand, digging the toe of his shoe in until Duncan is screaming and Bill is sure his hand is broken. “I think she’ll jump into the Potomac with a weight tied around her ankle. The poeticism--her drowning in the same river that your body will be found in--is something that’s just too good to pass up.”

“I’ll kill you. I swear to God, I’ll kill you again and make sure that it sticks this time.” Tears are streaming down Duncan’s face, though whether that’s from the physical or emotional agony he’s in, he can’t be sure.

“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” Bill smiles, walking to the light switch and flicking it off. “I’ll be back in a bit, and then our final act can finally begin.”

This time, Duncan doesn’t stop him before he leaves, barely letting the door close before his willpower crumbles and he begins to sob. Cradling his injured hand, he has to force himself to look at the now-mangled fingers. He gasps, attempting to straighten them out, but they refuse to even twitch in response. It’s now that Duncan realizes that the true torture is waiting. His mind and body shattered, he now has to be at the mercy of Bill Shepherd before he can finally die. He’s never wished for death before, but now, he feels a pang in his heart for every one of his victims that have had to wait, broken and bruised, for Duncan to kill them.

You

“Does this location have any significance to you?” Cordelia asks Annette, pointing to an address hastily written down on a scrap of paper. The address corresponds to a building, fairly nondescript, but obviously holding some sort of significance.

“No, it doesn’t.” Annette shakes her head.

“That’s because this is the location of the first school that I opened here in D.C. Bastard’s really going all in on trying to frame me for everything he’s done.”

(Y/N), who had previously been dozing off on Langdon’s lap (Langdon had already made her swear not to tell anybody or else he would kill her in her dreams like Freddy Kreuger), sits straight up at this moment. “What makes you think he’s there?” she asks.

“This car.” Cordelia pulls another paper out from the folder she had brought with her, this one a picture of a Mercedes E-Class. “It’s been back and forth from Umbra to the old school numerous times in the past two days. License plates are registered back to Umbra.”

“So it’s definitely Bill, then.”

“I’m not typically a betting woman, but I would put money on this. Surveillance indicates that this car has been parked in front of the Goode Academy for six straight hours now.”

(Y/N) doesn’t know much about hostage situations, but she has to assume that Bill being where Duncan is held captive for an extended amount of time means nothing good.

“We need to move now, then,” Annette says. There’s no question behind her voice; she’s going to get her son.

“Yes. Your team?”

“Myself, Langdon, and (Y/N).”

Cordelia glances warily at (Y/N). “Do you have combat experience?”

“Duncan trained me to fight, and also did some weapons training with me,” (Y/N) says.

“That’s good enough.” (Y/N) tries not to be offended. “I have myself, Madison, Misty, and Mallory.”

“We’re going?” Mallory, a brunette wearing a gold headband, says.

“I need my best girls, and you three have proven yourselves.”

“Alright then, let’s go.” Annette grabs a key from around her neck and unlocks what you thought to be a closet door, opening it to reveal a weapons cache large enough to rival a small government’s. “Stock up.”

“Which gun are you most comfortable with?” Langdon asks (Y/N), the two standing side-by-side after everybody else has had their turn.

“Uh, I don’t really know the names. It’s a handgun, and it’s black.”

“Probably a Springfield, then.” Langdon hands (Y/N) a gun that looks similar to ones that she’s handled before. “It’s already loaded.”

“Thanks.” She glances at Langdon after holstering her own weapon, watching as he selects numerous guns of different sizes. “What if we’re too late?”

“We won’t be.”

“But you heard what Cordelia said. Bill’s been there for six straight hours now. He could have--”

“You’re right, he could have,” Langdon interrupts. “But we can’t go in there assuming that the worst outcome has come true. We have to have hope. If nothing else, there’s always hope.”

“I have hope.”

“Good, because I do, too.” Langdon grabs a knife from the weapons closet, twirling the tip of the blade on his index finger. “Now let’s go get Duncan back.”

Duncan

Bill stands before Duncan, twirling the tip of a knife on his index finger. “I’ve held onto this for six years now. Do you recognize it?”

Of course Duncan recognizes the knife that he stabbed his uncle with. In his dreams, he can still feel the cool leather handle gripped tightly in his palm.

“It’s something of a treasure to me, although it certainly didn’t seem like it at first. I’ve come to recognize the significance of holding the thing that almost killed me, and I like to keep it as a reminder.” Bill holds the knife out to Duncan, knowing he’s too weak to fight him for it. “See that on the blade? Why don’t you read it for me?”

Cursive lettering is engraved on the blade, though it was not there when the knife had been in Duncan’s possession. “Memento mori,” Duncan mutters, trying to remember his Latin lessons from high school.

“It was an extremely popular phrase during the medieval period, specifically when it came to funerals. ‘Remember you must die.’ It’s a warning, a reminder. That’s what this knife has become to me, a reminder of the inevitability of death. It also reminds me that I’ve survived death before, and I’ll surely survive it again.”

“Quite the sense of humor,” Duncan remarks dryly.

Bill shrugs, bending down to Duncan’s level. “A little gauche, perhaps, but I enjoy the significance of the phrase.”

Duncan’s about to ask him what the point of this is when Bill shows him by shoving the knife into his abdomen. Duncan grunts in pain, gritting his teeth and glaring at him. “Of course you’re going to stab me just like I stabbed you.”

“Do you know how I managed to survive?” Bill asks.

“I’ve tried not to think about it much.”

“I survived,” Bill continues, “because you were too stupid to realize that you needed to pull the knife out. What do all of the medical professionals say when training civilians on dealing with stabbings? ‘Don’t remove the weapon.’ That’s the only thing keeping them from bleeding out, and it’s what kept me from bleeding out.”

“I had assumed I severed your abdominal aorta, what with all the blood.”

“Exactly, ‘assumed.’” Bill digs the knife around to watch the way that Duncan tries not to scream before pulling it out and watching as blood begins to pour out of the wound. For every beat of Duncan’s frantic heart, trying to pump blood to the source of the injury in an attempt to clot it, more blood pulses out. “Never assume things, my boy.”

Though his head is starting to spin, Duncan finds just enough rage to spit at Bill. “Go to hell.”

“From the looks of it, you’ll be there long before me,” he says almost gleefully before pulling out a gun and shooting him in the thigh. This time, Duncan openly screams. “Just wanted to make sure you actually die, if the stabbing wasn’t enough.” Bill’s extremely nonchalant, as if he’s discussing the nuances of the Nationals rather than talking about murder.

Bill grabs a key and unlocks the chain from around Duncan’s leg, knowing that he won’t have the strength to escape. “I’ll be back in half an hour to check on you.”

“Fuck you,” Duncan responds, but Bill’s already gone.

Duncan moans in pain as he stares at his wounds, feeling the stickiness of blood beginning to pool under him. Lifting a shaky hand, he presses it to his abdomen to try and slow the bleeding. As he swallows deeply, realizing that he very likely is going to die shortly, he thinks about a number of things, mainly regrets.

He wishes that he had realized earlier that his mom was just as much Bill’s victim as he was.

He wishes that he appreciated Michael more for the brother he had been to him.

He wishes that he had told (Y/N) that he loved her more often.

But most especially, Duncan wishes that he had just put a bullet in Bill’s head that night instead of stabbing him. Then, he wouldn’t be feeling this intense cold begin to settle in his bones as he’s forced to slowly die on the concrete floor of a basement. Facing the Grim Reaper head-on is not nearly as dramatic as he thought it would be.

You

Watching the Coven, Langdon, and Annette taking out the defectors is not nearly as dramatic as (Y/N) thought it would be. Wisely, they had requested that she stay behind until the perimeter was secured. It’s much quieter, and a lot less bloody; as it turns out, members of organized crime do have consciences, and chose to subdue those not directly a threat. After Langdon finishes tying those who had remained loyal to Bill together, Cordelia motions for (Y/N) to follow the group into the old school.

The proud sign that once declared this building the Goode Academy now lies in the dirt of the overgrown lawn. The doors are open, solely because the rusted hinges make it impossible for them to remain closed against a gentle breeze. The further that they make it inside, the more frantic (Y/N) is. She knows that they’re close to Duncan, she just doesn’t know what state they’ll find Duncan in. Before they can make it too far with Cordelia as their guide, Bill appears. Instead of holding a machine gun, which is kind of what (Y/N) had expected, he has a concerned look on his face.

“Annette, thank god you’re here! I know this must be confusing to you, but when I heard that Duncan was missing, I knew that I needed to save him from the bitches that had sent me into hiding years ago.”

Confusion blankets (Y/N)’s mind as she tries to figure out what’s going on, but Annette doesn’t feel the same. “Cut the shit, Bill. I know what you’ve been doing.”

Bill laughs. “You’re going to let Cordelia Goode manipulate you into believing her, after she tried to kill me?”

“You’re an idiot. You think I don’t smell the blood in the air?” Annette laughs viciously, a verbal slap in the face. “Where’s my son?”

Like a switch was flipped, the worry on Bill’s face falls into contempt. “You’ve always been too emotional for your own good, Annette.”

“‘Family over everything,’” Annette quotes. “Remember that? What happened to that?”

“That died the day that that--that mistake came back from boarding school and decided that our business, the empire we built from the ground up, was his birthright.”

“You never were good at sharing, were you?”

The siblings stare at each other for a moment before Bill sighs. “You could have just been complicit, but no. Guess I’ll have to think on the fly, then.” He pulls out a gun and cocks the hammer back.

Before he can fire, Madison and Mallory appear from behind him, having snuck into the back. Madison knocks the gun out of his hand, the weapon firing into the ceiling, as Mallory socks him in the face and drives him to his knees. Both women force his hands behind him, holding him still as Cordelia walks up to him.

“The door to the basement is in the kitchen, hidden behind the left wall of the pantry,” Cordelia says to the group.

(Y/N)’s off, moving as fast as she can while maneuvering through the unfamiliar house. “Wait, you can’t do this. Annette, you aren’t really going to let the Coven, of all people, do this to me?” Bill pleads.

“I can actually, and I will. After all,” Annette turns to Cordelia, “we have a deal.”

In the kitchen, (Y/N) throws open the pantry door, pushing and shoving and pulling at the left wall before it finally opens to reveal a set of stairs.

“Girls?” Annette calls just before she reaches the door. “Make it painful.”

(Y/N) runs down the stairs, hands scrambling along the wall until she comes across a light switch. Flicking it on, her eyes look around the room until she sees a lifeless figure on the floor that’s surrounded by a pool of blood. A cry is ripped from her chest as she falls to her knees beside Duncan, hands hovering above him as she tries to figure out what to do first.

He’s pale, scarily so, and he’s breathing so shallowly that she can’t tell he’s breathing at first. Somehow, with all the blood, he’s still breathing. All (Y/N) can focus on is the fact that he’s still alive (later, she’ll wonder how she didn’t even flinch at all of the injuries and the blood, oh, the blood) as she rips her shirt off and presses it firmly against the wound on his stomach, calling his name over and over again in increasing levels of desperation.

From behind her, she can hear Annette scream and yell for Langdon to call an ambulance. She can feel the presence of somebody next to her as they catalogue where Duncan’s hurt, but she can’t bring herself to look away from Duncan’s face. His perfect face, that she’s kissed over and over a thousand times and has taken immense pleasure in watching a blush rise to the surface. His perfect face that she’s now slapping to try and get him to at least show some sort of response.

“You don’t get to die like this,” she tells him, hoping that he’ll somehow manage to hear her. “You said that you didn’t want to be the reason I suffered, but look at you now, making me suffer. Don’t keep me suffering like this!”

Slowly, and just barely, his eyes crack open just enough that (Y/N) can see a hint of blue. His lips move, saying something without audible sound, and she brings her head down to his to try and catch what he’s saying.

“An angel.” She finally makes out what his reverent whisper is over the wail of the incoming ambulances, and laughs brokenly as her head falls onto his chest in relief.

//

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[ziracona]

hoh I'm really sorry friend but you got Talbot's backstory kinda muddled. Some things you stated that he did, he didn't actually do for the reasons you stated. He didn't experiment on killers just for fun -- he ran from them. they hunted him. he experimented on them to find a dosage right for himself. he also didn't experiment on an animal for fun. it was dead. Vigo apparently talked about escaping and it had to do with serum. Its why he injected himself after tests. He wanted a way out.

I’m going to answer this in two parts since it’s stated in two. First, friend, I am going to have to operate on the assumption that you have very very strong feelings about Talbot and assume everything said against him is pretty much the same after a glance or something like it, because I never once said he experiments on the killers for fun. I said the Entity I think lets Talbot experiment on other killers now that he is one too as “punishment for them and fun research times for Talbot,” not that Talbot experiments on them for fun. I think he does enjoy doing his scientific research, but that aside, the above is just a description of the Entity’s reasoning in letting him do that/its POV.  I certainly never said he does it ‘just for fun’. In fact, I explicitly stated his motivation for becoming a killer was to attempt to protect himself. I have to assume you didn’t really read my post at all, or perhaps got it confused with another. I know my shit. I read up. Though it is true I say ‘animals’ when, while he canonically experiments on both rats and crows, only the one rat happened for sure before he moved on to the Trapper. Although, that’s kind of worse... Again though, I never once said he did any of this for fun. I know he injected people to see what the serum would do, in a very reckless and poorly thought attempt to escape the realm. I explicitly mention this. Perhaps you are confused because I describe him as torturing people, and he’s not just doing pain for fun--this is because torture is not limited to only pain inflicted on someone out of cruelty or a desire to manipulate them. The dictionary definition of the verb, to torture, is “To cause intense suffering. To torment”. And he absolutely tortures killers, survivors, and reanimated realm animals alike as a means to his own ends. Also, the Entity has not erased all his memories--I know the archives has some memory deterioration lore added, but much of what he did to others happened well before any of that began, and explicitly some of his own addons mention things he explicitly remembers. The Entity did of course leave him to suffer in the void, with is a form of torture, and used the medical affects of blight itself to help manipulate him. Unfortunately, being hurt yourself doesn’t excuse you from the responsibility of what horrors you inflict on other people.

For part two, I am sure my answer is coming off as a bit abrasive. I appreciate the apology, but yes, it is rather rude. Even without the lack of attention to detail. Let me try to say this more fairly though, because I don’t know you at all, and in all likelihood, you’re a very nice and decent person who doesn’t mean anything by this, and simply has deep feelings about this character. Also, this isn’t all directed just at you, but to some degree at everybody who has sent me one of these in the past, or will in the future, which I am very tired of. I am going to quit answering most of them from here on.

First of all, I understand feeling deeply about a character or topic. I understand being frustrated or even hurt when you see opinions that distress you, or seem unjust compared to what you believe. That’s natural, and even sweet. And I am all for talking about how you feel and think and why, and leaving that in the tags so other people might hear what you have to say. Even for messaging people to see if they want to have a discussion with you. It’s endearing when people love things and want to fight for them. I only describe Talbot as more interesting than many of the others, because I was not asked specifically about my sympathy level, and it doesn’t factor high in importance to me where he is concerned, but you’re not wrong that Talbot is more sympathetic--or, at least, depending on interpretation, much more capable of being written sympathetic while adhering to canon--than many of the other killers. That said, he’s also--completely in line with canon--interpretable as pretty monstrous. I don’t think I necessarily paint him heavily either direction. Simply I personally feel fairly little sympathy for someone who commits the kinds of dehumanizing acts of scientific research torture on war prisoners without a second thought, ignores the consequences of his actions, and so quickly casts his humanity aside when in tribulation. He devolves from someone who could have changed and been good, to a man who is a horrific monster and cares only for him self, with no lines he will not cross (his own words, and pre-killer even). And to some people, that is tragic. To me, I feel little kinship for the man he was before, and am simply disappointed in him for failing so easily and completely. I can see why someone might interpret his character quite differently, but my take is just as valid in line with canon, and it’s mine. 

I don’t mind people telling me their thoughts, and I don’t mind reading takes in the tags. And again, I very much understand the desire to stand up for something you care about if you feel it is wronged. But that’s not really what you’ve done here, messaging me on anonymous. To the best of my knowledge, I have never even interacted with you before. You didn’t open a discussion with me; you talked down to me, and you decided to argue with me about a topic I did not invite anyone into debate with myself. I am not an opinion blog, or a discussion blog. I am a personal blog. But still, you were discontent to not go into my space and try to scold me about my own opinions as a stranger. And you did all of it on anonymous, where there is no tag attaching anything you said even to your online persona, and no way for me to even be assured of you seeing an answer, or entering any dialogue with me. Which means that the goal, subconsciously probably since I know nothing at all about you and have no reason at all to think you’re anything but a decent person who is a bit carried away today with love for Talbot Grimes, but still the goal, was never to have a dialogue with me in the hopes maybe I would see and like your reasoning and we could talk about something we both have an interest in. It was that you felt so entitled to dictate someone you don’t know’s opinion about something they disagree with you on, that you felt compelled to leave a missive instructing me to correct my wrongs in my inbox. 

Which, well, is rude.

This is probably a bit more, uh, ‘icy’? Than is totally necessary. I really am not angry at all; I understand you probably had no real ill will towards me doing this. I just have this happen a lot, and I am tired of it, so I want an easy frame of reference to link back to for why I find this behavior rude and cowardly and an unasked for nuisance--badly intentioned consciously or not. I truly am sorry if this makes you feel bad or distressed to read, especially if you’re a younger fan. I truly am not mad at you--and I do not at all think or mean to imply you are a bad person. Everybody is occasionally thoughtless. It’s not remotely representative of character. But please don’t keep doing this to people who aren’t interested in a debate. And if you believe in something enough you want to take the discussion to someone else, sign your name to it. If you feel enough conviction to make something someone else’s problem, make it your problem for real too. I’m truly not mad though, and wish you the best.

(and my ‘if you are annoyed by this or any of my other personal opinions and desperately want me to read your thoughts on anon about that’ requirements below the cut)

It’s literally not worth my time to read anon hate or people upset I don’t like a serial killer, so if you for some wild incomprehensible reason really feel a need to see me read that and answer to you instead of just delete and/or block without a look, then either leave my $5 on my Kofi, or get used to knowing I didn’t even read it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have to actually get paid to not file that shit under ‘I’m not paid enough to deal with this’. 

[monkey-network]

My Issues with Butch Hartman

Call this the sequel to my post on Mr. Enter. But honestly compared to Enter, Butch Hartman has made himself look far worse in so little time. Not only with how he uses his influence, but he basically showed his true colors not long after he left Nickelodeon. With Enter, the worst you can say about him is his opinions on media and his politics. With Hartman, there is a surprisingly lot more under his belt that made the hate towards him .

To preface this, while I’m gonna shit on this dude, I’m not shaming anyone who still likes his past content. With that said, bibbity Boppity boopity. Let’s look at the fucking scoopity.

The Telltale Oaxis

This really takes the cake as the scummiest thing Butch has done. Words and opinions can be one thing, but using your platform to basically trick some people out of their money for a project you abandoned for the most part grinds me gears a lot more. As bad as his marketing strategy was, at least Enter provided effort in his indiegogo project beforehand for god’s sake. Oaxis is one of the most pitiable crowdfunded projects I’ve seen.

It’s nearly two years since Butch got Oaxis funded and what have gotten beyond pure dead silence. Nearly two years and little to no significant updates for Oaxis’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, his Youtube, or the site’s official account. No wait, that last part’s kind of a lie. They had monthly updates on the official site up until September 2019. Could’ve posted this on their social medias but you take what you can get. 

The major takeaway from the updates, in all fairness, was that the kickstarter wasn’t enough and they still need to raise more funds for the service. The “capital-building” stage he calls it where he’s looking for more investors in addition to getting actual programs onto the service. That and Oaxis is a big vision for Butch and his wife in spite of not only giving up the monthly updates and basically secluding any mention of Oaxis from any place else. That’s basically it and I legit feel sorry for everyone that couldn’t get their refund back.

This isn’t HBO Max or Disney+ where you just expect them to have something together after their initial announcement because they’re already media conglomerates, this is an independent project. One that people, your fans included Butch, put over 200K thinking you would at least give people something. But beyond a “sizzle reel” that said nothing aside from Oaxis going to be a thing, you have presented jack after two years. I don’t expect the ins and outs of every business meeting with executives, but staying silent about everything except for monthly newsletters that offer very little encouraging progress and hasn’t updated since September of last year is not a good sign. And I’m especially hard on this topic, Butch, because this is the biggest point where it is seriously hard to trust you. It’s not criticizing your ego when after having too many cracks in your story, you really haven’t put your money where your mouth is.

I don’t wanna presume the guy’s given up on it, hoping everybody would forget it after a while, but he’s really put the effort in to make Oaxis feel like a afterthought. I’m not an expert in business, but even I can believe that after his non-apology for not being upfront with his initial intentions, that he’d try to provide updates on the project to not come off as the scam artist people have accused him as. Even with his Youtube channel that I’ll get to later, I don’t think it’s hard consistently posting about your so called vision if you have that much faith in its success. You’ve already gotten thousands of bucks initially with the crowdfund, people deserve more than your pitiful wishful platitudes and I unfortunately can’t believe you’ll have anything after a few years. It’s not that everyone forgot about it, but you mostly took the money and ran. If Butch pops up with something if he sees this somehow, I’ll eat that crow, but I sincerely doubt it after this long. Like at least post something on the Twitter, I get depressed just looking at it; that account is the textbook definition of famine.

The Childhood Reposter

I’ve brought up Butch’s youtube channel a couple times, and it’s when every time I look at it, it’s a little sad. When it comes to major creators, I typically think that after finishing their projects they’d move to newer things. People like Lauren Faust, Mike Judge, CH Greenblatt are all continuing to make new works under differing studios while new creators are getting the spotlight. Butch though? I mean, he has a new cartoon that I swear you’ve never heard about but other than that, the dude looks like he has little to say for himself nowadays beyond the 2 shows he’s famous for, Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom. I would’ve added TUFF Puppy and Bunsen is a Beast but I can see that those two aren’t his major players seeing as how they’re rarely ever mentioned on the channel.

If it’s not some watchmojo level meme video, almost every other video is about either two of those shows in some varied fashion. I get that he “created your childhood” and made credulous bank from Nickelodeon, but it’s like Danny Phantom is all that stands between him and having an audience. That and drawing anime characters in his style which is... y’know, I’ll leave that to you. It’s like he retired and yet goes on about the good old days like a fluctuating ego. He’s still making a cartoon but to him that’s hardly a factor compared to his known successes.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to just be known as the guy who made two of your countless beloved cartoons. Not that that’s all he talks about, but it’s the insistence of his legacy that unfortunately gives me Bojack Horseman vibes. He no doubt has a good thing going but I believe that this isn’t gonna last. Just saying, dude has 850K subscribers and unless it’s a real hook like with the recent Danny Phantom/Jake Long death battle, he’s hardly getting a good fraction of views anymore. There’s only so many times you can milk Danny Phantom as your masterpiece before everyone moves on.

The Holy Boast

I wanna make this short because I’m not a huge talker of religion, but I stand to say that you should NOT, under any circumstance, believe BPD, PTSD, autism, fucking heart & kidney failure can be “cured” or “healed” through sermons of prayer. This here? This is genuinely something else.

https://www.healingjourneys.today/

For clarity, this was a gospel conference hosted by Butch and his wife and yes, they openly proclaim that BPD, austism, and heart disease can be cured through prayer of holy worship.

Now, I’m gonna give a full disclosure right here because this most certainly biases my point here, like I’m gonna own this. But my grandpa was a religious man that suffer from health problems. He notably prayed to carry on, yes, but at the same time he sought medical help. Even he told me that prayers wasn’t gonna keep the pacemaker going, he went to the doctors and actually did more than read the bible to improve himself. He unfortunately passed, but he was in his 70s and I honestly couldn’t believe, as hard as I try, that he was gonna live forever. My grandpa would’ve no doubt died far earlier if he followed this conference’s logic.

My point is that this is personally unsettling. I seriously cannot believe this is how autism and religion works and it blows my mind that him and his wife thought this conference was a suitable idea. I’m not bashing them as christians, but thinking mental disorders and bodily diseases can be done away with motivational seminars because that’s basically what they are is a legit slap to the face. And the seedling idea that they’ve done this before blows my mind.

The Financial Flaker

This is very recent and everything is generally explained in the 12 minute video but long story short: Butch hired an artist and never paid them for their work. The artist in question, Kuro, describes what happened between him and Butch in this video and provides receipts. Can’t really add anything to this myself beyond this just builds to the idea that Butch cannot be trusted as a professional business maker. I believe he still has people working for him but from this video, it tells me that Hartman will gladly use those lower than him in favorable pursuits and will gladly throw ignorance when he wants to because his cartoon veteran status presents that shield from thinking he can do no wrong, which can mean throttling his hires.  Let’s end this.

The Conclusion

When I get down to it, Butch is almost a Machiavellian character in a way. It’s amazing how much the trust people have had with Hartman have evaporated in less than a couple years. It’s amazing how much his ego has truly shown after he stopped being a namestay in Nickelodeon. Haven’t even mentioned the times he arrogantly deflected criticism because he was a namestay at Nick and how a couple who’ve worked with are well aware of his ego. I can’t help but believe that even after everything, he claims ignorance to his fall from grace and keeps going. Even when more and more are knowing his true self, he’s mostly just doing what he’s been doing for the past few years.

It’s respectable in a way, but shows that the world will move on without him. Again, if you like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, I won’t judge you for it nor say you should be ashamed. This isn’t about cancelling Butch, or get him to stop spreading whatever wacky things he believes in. It’s my personal take of how this man whom I once respected because of what he made before has lost every bit of that from me. It really feels like he grew up with that “I Created Your Childhood” mentality being a 4 time showrunner for almost a couple decades. And when he finally left Nickelodeon, I guess the chance to be that stand out self-made success got to his head and he finally showed his true colors. I now find it hard to believe Butch cares about the little guy that were his fans as much as he rides off his success and others who tolerate him. As such, like JK Rowling, more are seeing this side of him and leaving him behind. Meanwhile Butch is gonna chug on until he just loses steam. It’s kinda like Icarus where the guy will make every effort to fly to the sun. But sooner or later, he’s gonna fall, and in the end I doubt anyone’s gonna care to see it. I know he won’t.

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 12

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

~~

‘Hey! You’ve been pretty busy lately and I think it’s time we head out to Johann’s place today :) you down?’

Emilia texted me as I was still lying down in bed, not really planning on going out and just staying in bed… until now, that is. I haven’t seen my group of friends, besides Yoandri, in a little while. My time has been spent with someone and my thoughts have been.. elsewhere.

I’m just wanting to tell everyone and get this weight off of my chest, but at the same time, I can’t. If (Y/N) ever meets the boys, Richard won’t recognize her, right? He’s only seen her for a few seconds at that party we were at. It’s not like he’ll even remember what she looks like.

I know Chris is dying to meet her, having only heard the little stories I’ve told about her to him. He’s been patient, understanding that I wanna keep it private for a while, but it’s obvious that he’s excited and wants to know who she is.

‘Hell yeah I’m in! What time?’

~~

We all were kind of lounged around Johann’s kitchen while we ate some Chinese food that we ordered. It felt good to see my friends again. We were laughing and talking about the things we’ve been up to lately while I thought about Emilia and (Y/N). Two similar, but totally different girls.

Something’s changed though. I don’t see myself gravitating towards Emilia as much anymore, not like I used to at least. I feel like I’ve been lost in my thoughts recently. I need to get back into the conversation.

“So, Joel, you’ve been pretty busy lately. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever haha.” Emilia smiled. “What are you and the guys up to?”

“We’re just getting ready to release the new album and working on tour dates.” I took a sip from my drink. “We’ve all been pretty busy, so I’m happy that we’ve got some time off.”

“Last time we saw you was at a party with some of the boys from your band.” Johann spoke. “You left fairly early, bro. We didn’t get to talk as much.”

“Oh, yeah uh sorry about that. Something came up and I had to leave.”

“Was it about that girl you were talking to that night?” Emilia smirked and took a bite of her food as Yoandri looked my way with a knowing look on his face. “Wait, what girl?” Johann asked. “Um.. I don’t..” I could feel my face heating up. “Oh come on! She’s the real reason why you’ve been super busy, right?” I didn’t speak. I didn’t say it was true, but I didn’t deny it either. “Oh my God haha you ditched us for a girl?” Johann laughed.

“Hey, she’s not some girl.” I said. “I’m just stating the facts!” He smiled and leaned on his elbows that rested on the table. “What does she look like?”

“Guys, she’s so pretty and she’s actually real.” Yoandri laughed as Johann looked over at him. “You’ve seen her already?” He nodded as I bit my lip. “Let me see her. I can’t believe you never told me about her.” I took out my phone, going straight to photos and I scrolled until I found a recent photo we took together. He took my phone in his hands and observed the photo as Emilia stood behind him, looking as well. “She’s cute..” He scrolled a few more photos before handing me back my phone.

“Oh my God, Joel! She’s so pretty!” She smiled as I blushed slightly at the thought of (Y/N). “She is, isn’t she?” I glanced down at the photo of when we went to the carnival together and smiled at the memory. “We’ve been seeing each other for a little while now.”

“Well, hey! Let’s celebrate.” Johann lifted up his drink and spoke. “A toast to new relationships and finding love in the most unexpected places.” If I had been paying attention, I would’ve noticed that it almost sounded sarcastic.

At the end of the day, we helped him pick up the place and left on our merry way back to own our houses. I decided to stay behind and talk more with my friend while Yoandri and Emilia had left. It was nice getting to catch up with my friends, it’s definitely been a while. I was currently washing the dishes as Johann popped up behind me. “So… what’s really going on?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on, Joel. I’m not stupid.” He placed a plate inside the sink and stood beside me. “You were in love with Emilia a few months back and ready to do almost anything for her… what happened?” I shrugged my shoulders and continued washing the plates and cups. “I met someone new and well.. here I am.”

“That quick?” He asked as I stayed silent. I can trust him… right? “It’s not a big deal.” I laughed it off as I finished rinsing the utensils and put them on the clean side of the sink. “Not a big deal? Joel, come on.. is this thing legit?” I washed my hands as I sighed, deciding to come clean to one person I trust. He’s been my friend for a while and I can tell him anything, right? He wouldn’t judge me and I can maybe start to feel some sort of relief by getting this off my chest.

“Can you keep a secret?”

He nodded and waited for me to spill the beans to him. “You can tell me anything, Joel. I’m your friend.” I have to say something. I’m tired of feeling guilty and holding this in. I have to tell one person, at least. “I’m gonna be honest here.. I… I only used (Y/N) to get Emilia jealous in the beginning. That was the only reason why I talked to her in the first place.”

“Ahh see? I knew you were still in love with her.” Johann smiled as I continued. “No, listen. Yes, it was bad intentions at the start and I was head over heels with Emilia, but dude… once I got to know her, I was hooked. She’s really amazing.” I smiled. “She’s so genuine and smart.. she makes me laugh and – ”

“Aanndd that was enough to get you over Emilia?”

“I’ll always love her, yes. She’s my friend but..” I bit my lip. “Whenever I’m with (Y/N), it just feels like it’s just us two and nothing else matters at that moment.” He stayed silent. “Johann, you have to promise me that you won’t tell her or anyone about this. What I did.. I don’t want anyone knowing, especially her. I don’t want to lose what I have with her.”

“Hey, dude relax.” He chuckled. “No te preocupes, you can trust me.”

~~

This guilt is starting to eat me out alive.

I should never have done this in the first place. I should’ve just listened to Richard and leave her be at that party.

But then you never would’ve known how wonderful she really is.

“All things happen for a reason” she said. Maybe… I was supposed to find her. If I never did this, then I would’ve missed out on such a great person… but this is wrong. How this all started was wrong and it’s all my fault. How am I ever going tell her about this? Will I ever tell her? I don’t want to lose her. What we have is amazing and I don’t want to throw that all away. Will she ever talk to me again if she were to find out?

No.. I can’t tell her. I just can’t.

I fucked this whole thing up. I don’t want anybody else. I want her, only her.

I’m not any different from her ex. In fact, I think I’m worse. Using her just to try to get somebody jealous? Yeah, I’m a complete dick. I just didn’t expect for me to... actually really.. really.. like her. What have I gotten myself into? I wanted to tell her that night about everything. To just be able to come clean and hope that she’ll forgive me, but then she brought up her ex and I just couldn’t bring myself to break her heart even more.

I’m happy that I told Johann, though. Everybody else had left and he was there.. it just seemed right? I don’t know, I just really needed to get some relief. Saying it out loud made me feel a little better, I guess.

(Y/N) and I were currently in my car, looking for something to eat until we found a Ricobene’s near by, so we walked in and the sweet scent of food filled our noses. We ordered what we wanted to eat and found a spot we could sit at while we waited for them to call out our name. Her cheeks were rosy from all of the laughter we shared today and I honestly felt like we were on our way to being a happy couple. Like things are looking up for us, despite my biggest secret.

I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be in the presence of this girl.

“Hey uh I wanted to ask you something real quick.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“So, a couple of my friends and I are planning on having a little cookout in like a week. It’s just us coming together and having a good time.. and my bandmates will be there too. Well um.. I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come along? If you’re busy, I totally understand and it’s not – ”

“I would love to.” She cut me off. “Really?” I asked as she nodded. “Is it okay with you if I bring a friend or two? I’d like to have somebody there with me that I know besides you.” I laughed. “Of course. The more the merrier.”

I feel a little safe now to finally show her off to my friends. I mean, what’s the harm now? I doubt Richard will know who she is, Johann promised me that he wouldn’t tell anyone and the ones who know are excited to meet her. This is gonna be great, I know it.

It may have started off with me wanting to get with Emilia, but I found someone better and I don’t want to let her go.

“I’ll send you the details then.” I smiled as I saw her get up. “Oh! Hold that thought, they just called our name. Let’s go get our food! I’m hungry.” She laughed as she started walking away, me slowly following after her. I can’t wait to show her off now that I feel less guilty and everyone wanting to meet her. This is gonna be good, I know it.

After we had picked up our food, we had walked out and went back to my car and I drove us to a Drive – In movie theatre. (Y/N) has told me in the past that she hasn’t gone to one of these things in such a long time and wanted to go before they close it. I paid for our tickets and drove us to where there’s not a lot of people parked beside us. We both got out of the car as I opened the trunk, setting up the blankets and pillows I had brought with me. 

“We’re all set.” I smiled as she climbed up, me following after her. “The movie should start any minute now, so we came just in time.” 

She placed one of the pillows behind her back and sat up, reaching over for the food we had just bought earlier. “What? I’m hungry.” She laughed and reached inside the bag, taking out the breaded steak sandwiches. “Hey, I didn’t say anything.” She handed me mine and got herself comfortable.

People were grilling, many brought chairs to sit outside their cars and others were waiting in line to go and buy some snacks. This is such an old school type of date and honestly I am living for it. Soon enough, ‘Spider – Man: Into the Spider – Verse’ started playing on the big screen as people were now getting themselves ready to see the movie.

“I used to come to the Drive – In every once in a while with my family when I was younger.” She spoke. “Really?” I asked as she nodded. “I loved it. There was one time.. haha me and my dad had brought chairs, and these were the type where you could lie back and look up at the sky. We sat outside of the car while the rest of my family stayed inside. In the middle of the movie, I guess my dad must’ve gotten way too comfortable because the next thing I knew, I could hear him snoring next to me.” She laughed. “I tried to wake him up because the people who were next to us could hear him and he just told me that we’re never gonna see those people again and went back to sleep.”

“Oh my God..” I laughed as she leaned against me. “Yeah, that’s my dad for you.” Having her here in my arms.. I couldn’t wish for anything better. It honestly feels like we’re the only two people here even those there’s a little over a hundred of us here.

At some point during the movie, we had completely forgotten about it and just ended up lying down next to each other, sharing stories and stealing kisses. Honestly, tell me… what could be better than this? My index finger and thumb lifted up her chin so she could look directly at me as I leaned in for another kiss. I placed one of my hands on her waist, running my fingers up and down her side. I brought her a little closer to me as she pulled her lips away from my own and giggled. “I’m ticklish there..”

I raised my eyebrow and smirked. “Oh, really? Do you mean.. here?” I tickled the side of her stomach as she let out a laugh. “Joel! S – Stop! Hahaha!” She tried to push me away from her, but I held her in place as I continued, wanting to hear her laugh once more. “Joel! People – hahaha! – People are g – gonna be looking at us – ssss!” I stopped my movements as I let her breathe for a few moments.

“Oh my.. hahaha! Pinche Joel!” She chuckled and moved away as I lifted up my hands again. “N – No!”

“Relax!” I laughed. “I was just gonna do this..” I moved a strand of her hair away as I placed my lips on hers, giving her a quick kiss. “Did you think I was gonna tickle you again?” I smirked as she nodded. “I mean, I can always – ”

“No! Please!” We laughed as I leaned against my elbow, hoisting me up a bit as I looked at her. Her cheeks were rosy from smiling so much and her hair was all over the place… she was breathtaking. I got closer, leaning in as my lips hovered over hers for a few seconds. I could feel her breath against mine as I looked into her eyes. She’s so beautiful…

“Are you gonna kiss me or not?” She asked as I chuckled, leaning down and placing a sweet kiss onto her lips.

Another perfect date. I can’t wait for many more…

Next Chapter

~~

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[chocochar]

ᴍʏ ɪᴅᴏʟ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ | ɪᴅᴏʟ!ꜱʜᴏᴜᴛᴏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | Part 1

Part 2: TBA

(AN: I'm excited af to do this, and yet I've never written for Shouto before and I don't know how well this will do. XD But here we are! 

Quick Notes:

Everyone is 3 years older than canon, so like Shouto, Izuku, etc are all 18, Natsuo is 22, Fuyumi is 26-27, etc.

This is a no quirks AU.

(F/n) = First name

(L/n) = Last name

(C/n) = Cousin's name

With almost every chapter I'm going to include fake tweets or texts/DMs that the characters make during the chapters. Just mentioning this so they don't seem out of place, I thought it'd be an interesting idea... (＃⌒∇⌒＃)ゞ

I think that's it, so let's jump in, yeah? (๑´ω`๑) )

[(F/n)'s POV]

        It's a day that, for the most part, is like any other. I wake up at around 10 AM, shower, and get dressed before having something for breakfast and sitting on my couch. Living in a small apartment not too far from my college my walls hold pictures of me and my friends and family, some shelves with things I like to decorate my little home with, and posters of my favorite shows as well as my favorite idol group: DYNAMITE.

        In this day and age Japanese and Korean idol groups are the big things people talk about; social media is flooded with posts and profiles dedicated to these celebrities, from the girl groups to the boys. The top two, though, are undeniably H3R0 and DYNAMITE. While I'm a huge fan of the latter most of my friends and my cousin are big into H3R0. Given the groups rivalry we've discussed which is better and who would win in a 'singing and dance battle' between the two, that's supposedly been rumored about, but I've always tried to stay out of arguments involving which is better. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but most of the time I escape the situation.

        Not saying I don't like H3R0, they've got great music and the members are all gorgeous, I mean I follow them all on Twitter, I just prefer DYNAMITE. Checking my phone and Twitter I see the three boys of H3R0 all posted within the last hour, talking about their concert tonight... 

        ...Which I'm being dragged to. By (C/n). Having today and tomorrow off of work at my family's restaurant and currently on a break from school I was going to relax the days away, probably be glued to my laptop or TV, but last night she decided to call me begging I go with her tonight.

        "(F/n), pleeeeeeaaaasssse!! Suki fell through and Erika has work, please come with me!!"

        "Why me? You know I'm more of a DYNAMITE fan, plus I don't know how I feel being your last resort," I replied, in the middle of making dinner.

        "I'll give you all my DYNAMITE stuff if you do! And you were my first thought but obviously I didn't ask you right away since, y'know, you being a fan of their enemies and all," she said, and I nearly told her no, but then again staying home for 2 straight days might get a little lonely... And I wanted that merch.

        Checking the time after a couple of hours watching TV and playing around on my phone I see it's after 1 and knowing she'll be here around 4 to get me so we can get there early I stand with a groan and go to do any makeup I feel like doing as well as brushing my hair.

        By the time (C/n) shows up I'm all ready and I comment,"I thought you said 4, it's only 3:15."

        "Well it doesn't hurt to get there as early as possible! I want as much merch as I can get," she replies, crossing her arms. I grab my jacket and follow her out, replying,"They're not going to run out of merch just because we're behind a few dozen people."

        The drive there is as expected, busy and we get in nearly two accidents because she's driving like a crazy person. Parking she almost doesn't wait for me as she runs to get in line, the two of us getting a decent spot at least right before the mobs show up. Looking around I feel awkward; so many excited and screaming people, I feel sort of out of place knowing I'm like an enemy invading their territory. I scratch the back of my head looking up at the large screens on the outside of the venue, the trio all displayed with their names and their group's title in front of them. The place is huge, and even as they start filing us in after an hour and a half of waiting it still feels crowded; I get my foot stepped on her bumped into more than once, and I hold my phone and wallet tightly in my jacket pockets not knowing who might try to take them.

        "Okay, (F/n), what do you want?" (C/n) asks me once we reach the stands to buy merch and I look at everything provided. All in all, I really don't know what to get, but shrugging I figure a t-shirt won't hurt. Telling the woman behind the table she nods, takes my money, then grabs the one I want and hands it to me. "That's all you want?" my cousin asks, to which I nod.

        "Well I gotta save room for the DYNAMITE stuff you promised me," I remind her with a 'sweet' smile, and she averts her eyes, mumbling while pouting her lips something like,"Psh, lame..." before getting everything she wants (which I get stuck helping her hold, how does she have this much money?!) then we leave to go find our seats.

        The place is packed, again I feel way out of place here, and even as they start doing a countdown the boys coming out I stay quiet while the stadium fills with thousands of voices counting down. (C/n) and I aren't too far from the stage, hell we're in the third row in the front of it! I wonder how much she paid for these... Suddenly everyone stands and starts screaming so I jump to my feet and look up to watch as one by one the boys come running out. First is Izuku, waving his hands and holding the big, sweet grin everyone adores; next to come out is Iida, also waving his hand, who comes across as the middle man of the group, a bright personality but still fairly level headed and bookish; last is Shouto walking out smiling, who I've always thought was the best looking of the trio. He's won a lot of fans over with his more reserved, blunt attitude, a lot considering him so mature for his age. They're all dressed in outfits that, while different, still go together with Izuku in a green shirt with no sleeves, Iida in a long sleeved white shirt, and Shouto in a black hoodie over a blue shirt, all wearing black jeans and different types of sneakers.

        "Hey everybody, how're you all doing tonight?!" Izuku exclaims, the fans cheering in excitement.

        "Are you all ready?" Iida follows, the crowd somehow getting even louder and I cover my ears as Shouto adds,"I can't hear you, are you guys ready?" while pointing out to the crowd. I keep my ears covered over the piercing cries and I watch as the boys all shout,"Let's go!!"

        The concert starts, and while it's not the one I would normally want to go to the boys are pretty good! Their moves and voices in sync, I clap after every song and even sing along a bit when they do one I like or have heard over a dozen times thanks to (C/n) or my friends. The one I'm most mesmerized by is Shouto, his melodic voice enrapturing me as well as the smoothness of his dance moves, my eyes hardly leave him for more than a few moments when one of the other two is singing or taking center stage. If I was as big into this group as everyone else here I'm sure I'd be one of his thousands of fan-girls.

        As it seems to get closer to the end I say to (C/n),"Hey I'll be back, I'm going to go look for a bathroom!"

        Managing to squirm my way out of the masses of people I'm almost to the exit when suddenly people start rushing down the aisles as the boy's come down to the front rows to give hugs and high five or touch the hands of the fans, a barrier and the 'guards' being set up around the ground floor rows so the people in seats higher up can't come pouring down to crowd the trio more than they already are. I start getting pushed around, squished, but I push on until I find an exit and I rush out of it. It's not like the other exit doors, and I see a few doors lining the wall. When I walk further down I start to get confused, mumbling,"Uh... Where did I..." I don't see anyone, the stage crews and security all out making sure the boys aren't getting mobbed, and I freeze when I reach stairs to my right... leading up to the stage. My eyes widen, and I'm about to turn around and run out when the music ends and the boys are back on saying their thank yous.

        "We're so lucky to have fans like you! Seeing all your faces here tonight..."

        "... it makes us feel fantastic! If it weren't for all of you..."

        ".... We wouldn't be here, so..."

        "Thank you everyone!" They call out in unison, waving as screams erupt in the large room. I jolt when hearing someone coming and looking around I quickly duck into the nearest room. It looks like a dressing room... "Oh no..." I don't have time to dwell on that as I shut the door just as I hear the boys exiting the stage and I run to the couch against the opposite wall. Hopping behind it I hide and cover my mouth, waiting. I can hear my heart beating in my ears so loudly, which makes it difficult to hear if anyone is coming. When the door opens the noisy organ jumps into my throat and I hope I wasn't noticed slipping in. If I'm caught I have no idea what they'll do, and I also have no idea how to get out of here!! The person steps in and shuts the door; it's silent for a moment, and I almost wonder what he's doing.

        "I know someone else is in here, come out before I get security." 

        'Oh hell no, is that...?!' I think immediately, gulping. Do I get out or risk him going to get security?? Is that really Shouto?! Did he see me??! When I don't come out, being too lost in my panic to think straight, he sighs and I hear his feet shift as he adds,"Fine, have it your way."

        "W-Wait!" I exclaim, popping up from my hiding spot holding out my hand with a frantic expression. "Please, I swear I wasn't trying to sneak into any of your rooms!!"

        He looks surprised at first, like he wasn't expecting me to just show myself, before he grows immediately suspicious while looking ready to run out the moment I even move. "Then what were you doing here? How did you even get past security?"

        I scratch the back of my head and can't seem to find the words. Being in the presence of one of the biggest idol stars in Japan right now, it's a weird feeling, like I feel smaller than normal while also a bit anxious. Although that's mostly from being caught unintentionally sneaking into his dressing room. But I can see now is not the time to hesitate so holding up my hands to show I'm not holding a weapon or anything I reply,"Uh, well, you see, there wasn't anyone in the hall, I think they all either went elsewhere or were keeping you guys safe when you left the stage. B-But again, it wasn't my intention at all to sneak in here, I was only looking for a bathroom but the crowds basically forced me through the door leading here! I mean you can frisk me right now, I don't even have my phone on me!!" 

        His eyes narrow as he watches me, probably looking for any sign I'm lying, but fortunately he seems to loosen the stiffness of his body a bit as he says,"... Alright, I'll believe you." Letting out a sigh of relief I didn't realize I was holding I climb over the couch and I get a better look at him; He looks pretty exhausted, which I'm not surprised by, but his eyes don't look at bright like they normally do in pictures and interviews. I don't think much of it, maybe he's just really tired from the concert, but I do still feel bad for him. He's still watching me, and smiling at him I try to be as friendly as I can.

        "Sorry again about this, I'm sure you were pretty startled! Ummm... Oh, here, do you have a pen?" When he provides me with one I ask for his hand and I write down an address on the back of it, Shouto looking puzzled. "As repayment for giving you a scare that's the address of my family's restaurant. The place isn't very well known and small, but the food is 5 stars! If you and your group ever want a good meal come over and I'll treat you guys!... Even though I'm sure this is nothing for you guys, huh?" I nearly forget I'm still holding his hand and letting go my face heats up with embarrassment and I take a step back, scratching my cheek. "A-Anyways, uh... Can you help me sneak outta here? I don't really want to get busted and arrested..."

        He's quiet for a minute staring at his hand before he meets my eyes with his own heterochromia and nods. "Sure, let me look before we go out," he tells me, stepping past me and opening the door to see if anyone is outside. I sneak up behind him and peek out too, able to see a few people out there talking; one or two look like stage hands and security, while the other 3 are a chubby, sweet looking woman who looks quite a bit like Izuku, a rather muscled blonde man whose hair is slicked back, a man with black hair who looks a bit like Iida, and another muscled man with short, messy red hair and a beard and mustache. Shutting it he runs his hand through his red and white locks and faces me, saying,"Unfortunately, I think they're discussing some things with our managers so we'll have to wait until they leave."

        "Well... what about you go and distract them while I sneak out like a ninja?" I ask, somewhat joking although he cocks a brow. "Sorry, um, so what about that?"

        "I could try but they'll most likely only tell me to get some rest and brush me off," he admits, turning and walking over to his couch while slipping his jacket off. I rub my neck trying to think of something else but nothing comes to mind and I follow him, plopping down next to him. "They should only be there a few minutes."

        "Well then I hope you don't mind me sticking around until they leave," I say, smiling at him although awkwardness immediately settles around us. For a few moments I chew my lip trying to come up with some way to break the ice, and turning to face him I see he's on his phone. He doesn't seem too stiff like me, I'm sure he's realized by now I'm not a threat although I'm pretty sure he's not thrilled having a stranger in his room when he's supposed to be changing and relaxing, I'm guessing. So to make it at least a smidge less awkward I say,"So, uh, my name is (F/n) (L/n), although it's a really weird situation it's nice to meet you." 

        He looks at me before nodding, locking his phone and replying,"You too, I'm actually pretty glad it wasn't someone trying to steal my things or take my picture again. That's happened way too many times to count." He shakes his head, before asking,"You seem pretty calm, though. Have you done this before?"

        "Me? No, no this is my first time even being in the same room as someone famous. I guess..." I hum, trying to think about why I'm not freaking out over sitting next to a celebrity. Even though inwardly I'm still a little shocked by all of this. "I guess it's cause you seem pretty normal to me? Like you're a big idol, you've got millions of fans worldwide, I won't lie I am kinda starstruck, but I can tell you're a regular guy under all that spotlight." I go pink after saying this and I laugh, adding,"That was cheesy, huh?"

        He stares at me before turning his head away and giving a soft, tired looking smile as he says,"No, it's the first time I've heard something like that, thank you." He turns his head to look at me again, the smile gone but he adds,"You seem pretty nice, (L/n)-san."

        "Really? Thanks, I'm glad you think so," I grin, resting my chin on my palms and deciding to continue the conversation  we start chatting, asking each other different questions like our hobbies or silly stuff like that. I decide to ask,"So, how is showbiz like?" and I catch the way his face falls and he looks away, me now regretting asking since it seems personal.

        While he doesn't outright say it, I can tell he's not keen on talking about it, his words sounding like they hide bitterness underneath as he explains,"It's... Fine. It seems glamorous on the outside, but it isn't all like that. While having so many fans and making so many friends of big names is nice sometimes it feels a little lonely, that and all the lessons and the little rest some of us get wears us out when we have big shows like this." I feel sympathy for him hearing this; it sounds like he's been through or seen the darker side of the red carpet life, and now I wonder if that's why his eyes look a little lifeless. "Sometimes some of us just want to run away from it..."

        I watch him stare at the floor after mumbling this, sounding like he was talking to himself there. 

        "So, why don't you?" I ask. It seems to catch him off guard and he looks back up at me surprised.

        "What...?"

        I shrug and cross one of my leg over the other as I sit back, continuing,"Why don't you try to leave, or at least go on a break for a bit to get yourself in order? If you're an adult, even if you're on a contract, if you're wiped out you need to take some time for yourself. Granted I don't live in your world so I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, but maybe you or whoever is to that point, you just need to think of your own needs for a change."

        He stares at me speechless, eyes wide and his lips slightly parted. I'm guessing he's never been told that before. Noticing it's been at least 10 minutes it feels like, I stand and walk over to the door, peeking out and telling him in a whisper,"Oh, they're gone! C'mon, my cousin is probably waiting." He seems lost in thought so I walk over and poke his forehead, his heterochromia orbs blinking as he focuses on me. "You said you'd help me out, remember?"

        "Oh, right," he says, standing and following me to the door. He steps out, nobody luckily nearby or looking as he hurries me out. We take another way out where no one can see us, and it leads outside. Taking in the fresh air once out the door I face him, the night air causing a chill throughout my body as I hope my cousin didn't forget my jacket, phone, and t-shirt.

        "Thanks Shouto, and again, sorry for all that but it was nice meeting you," I say, getting ready to leave but I freeze when he grabs my hand. Looking at him I'm confused, seeing he has something on his mind.

        "Did you really mean what you said earlier, about doing what's better for yourself? Even if it means leaving?" He asks, leaving me more puzzled since he still seems stuck on this. He can't really be thinking about running away right?

        "Y-Yeah, I meant it all," I reply, tilting my head. I slip my hand out of his grip and start to walk away, calling back,"You should probably get inside before someone sees you, and remember to come visit the restaurant sometime!" With that I hurry and run off to find (C/n), glancing back to find he's gone back inside.

[X][X][X]

        I thought that was going to be the only encounter with the idol, so if you told me I'd run into him again a few hours later when he shows up at my family's restaurant as they're closing up looking for me I wouldn't believe you. Getting a call as I'm laying on my couch watching TV I'm confused about why my mom is calling me this late and answering I ask,"Hello? What is it mom?"

        "(F/n), sorry if I woke you up, but there's a young man here looking for you. He said he's your friend, I think his name was Shou... Shouta... Something like that," she tells me. I sit up right away, wide eyed and my phone nearly falling out of my hand. What the hell- I meant to visit when it's in the day time, when I'm actually there! But it sounds like it's just him...?

        "Mom, I'll be there soon," I say as I quickly get my shoes and jacket on and grab my keys as well as my wallet. Hanging up and essential items in my pockets I hurry out of my apartment.

        Getting there by taxi I rush in and look to find my mom talking to someone, who I can only guess is Shouto. He's wearing the hood of his jacket up, a beanie to hide his hair, and sunglasses. A bag rests on the floor beside him and when my mom looks at me he does too, my expression one of confusion and shock as he stands and takes off his sunglasses; he meets my eyes and lifting his bag onto his shoulder he walks up to me and says,"I know this is strange, but... I felt like you could help me."

        "... Huh?"

        "I took your advice, and I ran away."

        ".... Huh?!"

(AN: THAT WAS SO MUCH TO WRITE. And it wasn't even supposed to be this long, I just couldn't stop writing... (〃￣ω￣〃)ゞ 

Sorry about how long it is, later chapters won't be over 10 pages... Unless you guys prefer that?? But I hope you guys enjoy it, I'm going to try to regularly update it every few days or once a week, I guess the more response it gets the sooner the updates? 

Also I am looking for ideas for future chapters, since I'm planning some chapters dedicated to cute moments between (F/n) and Shouto along with the main story so if you have any ideas feel free to leave them in the comments! Hope you like it, let me know if you did?)

[violetsystems]

#personal

I can’t really tell if my mood is better or worse on Sunday mornings rather than the typical Saturday.  Things have reached a point where it’s just not worth explaining how awful life can be.  My life story at this point is slightly more convoluted than a side job in Cyberpunk 2077.  It’s also seemingly just as insignificant.  That is until I realize I’ve been writing here weekly for over two years at this point.  I’ve been posting on this platform for what seems like over a decade.  The value of this kind of journaling has been impossible to gauge.  I just paid a full year for LinkedIn to keep my career contacts alive.  I post in the hashtag cybersecurity almost every day.  I have a solid list of five contacts that follow my company.  I post the zero day news as it happens.  I promote my brand and employability.  As if this is the only thing that is valuable.  A twenty year resume with management experience that gets picked over by AI and human just the same.  I also forget sometimes I’m a musician.  I was reminded last night when I posted the RP Boo “Bangin’ on King Drive” video.  I was at that video shoot.  Years ago I would just run into Bu in the street with his wife randomly.  I appear nowhere in that video as I was edited out much like I was the only artist edited out of a Pitchfork review for a footwork compilation from Japan that protested Nuclear proliferation.  If there were any more alarming trend for me it’s that most of what I try to succeed at is locked beyond a brick wall.  I sit here from week to week trying to figure out ways to keep myself from disappearing.  I worry about where I can actually pivot and when.  I lay awake at night alone in my bed calculating what my runway for cash positivity is before I have to leave this city altogether.  It sometimes feels completely futile and useless.  Everybody in America is winner take all when there’s nothing left to take.  It’s cutthroat and we’re all in this together at the same time.  The amount of bullying I have to process per day has left me broken down and angry ninety percent of the time.  And yet angry is a shitty look for me.  I lose at video games all the time.  And lately I feel as if I’m living in one.  To explain that any further gets into some territory of oversharing.  I’ve written paragraphs upon paragraphs about my life here.  And yet nobody seems to acknowledge I exist other than here.  Which leads me to believe a very few amount of people actually have the reading comprehension over 140 characters to look deeper into someone’s life, liberty and value therein.  I think sometimes that it shouldn’t be this hard.  That something is very wrong and deeply troubled about it all.  And there’s not much I can really do about the things I’m up against when it’s only me fighting it from day to day out here.  So I’ve fallen back to what I know.  We are still very much in the middle of a pandemic.  I’m happy the relief bill has passed.  I’m waiting to pay my taxes until it’s official.  Which puts me back in the same mood I’ve been in the last eight months.  A complete state of abandon.  This nefarious field of people watching you every day waiting to pin something on you.  It never comes because I know better than to fall back into that trap as much as I can these days.  

The worst of this mindfuck is over for me.  I don’t actually really care too deeply about how wrong things are.  Mostly because I’ve done my best to make due under impossible circumstances.  You’d think someone like me after all these years would have something to celebrate.  I kind of do.  My birthday didn’t matter to anyone really out here much last month.  It was a clear indicator that I had no real peers out here anymore.  As evidenced as how everyone in footwork I helped back in 2014 has literally just ghosted like the rest of my professional network.  I had a couple of things to fall back on.  But it’s impossible to fall back onto anything when people would rather pretend you didn’t exist.  I’m always supposed to read into these psychotic projections by society because somehow I’m supposed to realize more is expected out of me.  I can’t figure this out completely.  Like I brought all this upon myself.  That’s the vibe I get from day to day.  That because I don’t share my plans, agenda, or strategy with the real world I’m shit out of luck.  The irony is that I do share it verbatim.  Week to week.  In a very coy, oblique way this is true.  But I am also a writer.  This is another talent I’ve been taught by society that has no value.  I wrote emails for my bosses for years on my days off.  On my birthday even.  This doesn’t mean it is worthless.  The audience is out there.  If it weren’t I would have quit sharing my feelings a long time ago.  I’m fairly aware at some point I’m going to have to put this all behind me.  Hopefully when the world wakes up and returns to normal like nothing ever happened.  That’s going on as we speak and I don’t even have a vaccine in my arm.  It’s a constant state of fear and missing out projected back at you.  That the reason I’m not happy is totally because of what I choose to take on in my life.  And I’m supposed to get the message when people don’t actually communicate.  I had this strange realization yesterday when I discovered all my videos were closed captioned.  I watch movies with subtitles all the time simply because I love to read.  My videos barely get ten views if that.  I often think content is content.  If you put it out there someone will eventually find it and wonder about it’s value.  In the age of semi-spiritual machines it’s true that the algorithms seem to be the only curators out there listening.  Everything I say out loud is transcribed and mothballed somewhere on Siri’s or Alexa’s servers.  When I take a screen shot of the things I say off the top of my head, I’m often aware that something acknowledges I actually said them.  It’s just nobody human really wants to pay attention. They are hardcoded over my videos as proof of the value of my words.  Not like you can sell the speculative value of it yet.  The first tweet is being auctioned off as a NFT and you wonder how worthless I have to feel at this point.  I’m sure we all feel a little of this deep down.  Disconnected and in some sort of weird emotional exile.  I think it just makes me realize more of what I am connected to.  A history of authenticity.  A life that trades the catwalk for the streets as brutal and unforgiving as they are.  Nobody can stop talking shit about me.  But it’s almost always a hallucination.  For a person who puts it all out there, I must be a shitty fucking writer.  I can spend week to week writing the same thing.  That I’m completely abandoned and ghosted out here on my own.  And how it’s less unsafe and more simply a degraded quality of life when it comes to my rights as a human being to be happy.  I’m supposed to get the message when nobody can bother to read mine.  The writing is on the wall I guess.

So instead of pining on and on about it which I just did for two paragraphs, I still look for solutions.  I still broadcast weekly to let people know I’m still alive.  I make funny jokes to myself and screencap them to mask deep emotional scarring that is no fault of my own.  I literally feel trapped and under duress almost all of the time.  And yet, I don’t really have the luxury of taking the shit when I’ve had the hope choked out of me until I can’t breathe.  If the answer is to keep ignoring the problem, it’s hard to be me.  Because nobody can leave me alone.  No one seems to have any sense of dignity as to what I’ve been through.  I never claimed to be a victim.  That’s not really me.  I’ve survived and been resilient.  I can see that working a six figure corporate job in New York or China is probably more worth my time in the not so distant future.  I can also see that I’m worth more than what people sell me short for.  I know we are in a dangerous time of confidence tricks.  I don’t really have much to lose other than cash positivity.  I can wait this out until the end of the summer for sure.  And then I start to think about spending another winter being hunted and shunned at the same time.  Mentally I can’t fuck with this city after what it’s done to me alone.  I can’t keep being a superhero for people who can’t be bothered to understand how painful it is to be taken for granted after all these years.  I just give up on everything in the past that isn’t working and move forward as best as I can.  Just like they threw the entire contents of my office in the trash I can let it go.  There is a very real emotional exhaustion I have to deal with from day to day.  The level of psychological torture and abuse I’ve witnessed first hand in this city is at a level that is unlawful and unhealthy.  I know too much about what it’s all connected to.  And I know I’m better than all of this.  I don’t know how to proceed.  And this is a very real and dangerous situation that I am stuck in the middle of a shark tank feeding frenzy of well meaning but rabid idiots and the pricks that prod them with a sharp stick.  I don’t have a future here in this city.  I don’t have a future in this state or country if you wanted me to be real about.  And yet I have so much potential if I just hold on for one more year.  For one more decade.  For another forty years when they turn my blog into a NFT after my death like I’m the next Van Gogh.  Everybody will talk about how they knew me and how tortured an artist I was.  I was so misunderstood and it was beautiful.  They’ll fund a school with the proceeds that kicked me out the door because I was a blight on their payroll and budget.  And I’ll be a digital ghost just the same.  I feel like that very ghost now every waking fucking moment.  It is a pain I cannot describe in words.  It is a suffering that is goaded on in the worst syndicate driven way.  I have nothing good to say about any of this shit anymore.  I have no more room to break down and make things worse for myself.  I just have to adjust my schedule and manage my emotions with it all because it’s my fault.  This is the message I keep hearing in my head projected by silent looks as I picked up my prescriptions on foot avoiding everyone who wants to see if it’s true.  If I really am the bogeyman.  The source of the problem.  Someone to blame.  The scapegoat for everything that is wrong with the world.  Convenient but ultimately not worth my time to humor.  Which is why I don’t really know what to do anymore other than to stay inside and wait for justice.  If there’s anything poetic about it, it’s that it runs pretty seamlessly at 1440p.  Much clearer resolution than what this city wants to offer me after what it’s put me through.  <3 Tim

[daquanfromthetrap]

Sebastian x Reader(Ch. 2)

You walked in silence alongside Sebastian as the two of you made your way to the gardens. He spoke of the design of the mansion, the architecture, and the decor; but you paid his words no mind. You were hell-bent on figuring out what it is about this butler that intrigued you. Just as the two of you had made it outside, you were surprised by a rather loud disturbance further into the gardens.

*BOOM!* You and Sebastian stumbled a bit as the ground shook. You looked over at him in confusion as he held out his hands to steady you.

Sebastian squeezed the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh of irritation before excusing himself. “Do excuse me, my lady. It seems that there is a... problem, I must see to at this instance. I will rejoin you once all is well, Madame.”

You paused a bit, watching after him as he hurriedly made his way in the direction of the commotion. Well, I have nothing else to do at this dreadful party. You laughed to yourself as you began in the same direction that Sebastian had so hastily walked off in.

Walking deeper into the gardens, you could hear a nasally, high-pitched voice. “Oh we are sorry, Sebastian, sir. Yes we are!”

You heard another voice. “We was only trying to trim the trees, Sebastian. You know, staying out of sight like you said we should.”

“I was just tryna trim them a bit faster.” A third voice mutters.

You continued walking until you came upon a rather puzzling site; Sebastian with three other servants, surrounding a fallen tree that was partially burnt. The servants were covered in what seemed like soot, one of them holding a flamethrower.

“Are you lot alright?” you asked, stifling a laugh at the scene that laid before you.

“My lady! Please forgive us for the disturbance. We, of Phantomhive manor, strive for perfection in order to maintain the estate in pristine and orderly condition. Such are the orders of our master. Our deepest apologies for the disarray. ” Sebastian bows, clearing his throat and throwing a dangerous look towards the other three servants.

The three of them follow suit in Sebastian’s apology as they clumsily take their own bows. “Ah yes, milady we are sorry!!!”

They have a tremendous amount of respect for him... mixed with a bit of fear. You took note, watching the interaction between the butler and these other servants.

“My lady, if you would just follow me this way please. It is far too dangerous for a young woman such as yourself to be near such a ghastly site. I would be happy to escort you to another area of the grounds that would be more suitable for you.”

I have a feeling he’s not talking about the tree.You giggled. “It’s quite alright, Sebastian. Really it is. The tree has already fallen.”  You glanced over at the burnt tree then back at the group of servants before you. “And who might you three be?”

“Pleased to meet you, milady. The name’s Baldroy. I’m the cook of the Phantomhive household.”

“Hardly.” Sebastian mutters under his breath, loud enough for the rest of us to hear.

Before Baldroy could say anything else, you quickly replied, “Ah, so it was you who made the exquisite spread we had for the ball tonight. I commend you on your cooking skills, chef.”

“She said, ‘chef’!” Baldroy gushed as he practically melted into a puddle of tears from his own excitement.

You turned to the servant next to him; the maid. “And what is your name?”

“My name’s Mey-Rin, milady. Yes it is.” she answered clumsily.

“Mey-Rin. What a pretty name.” You smiled at her, causing a deep blush to appear on her cheeks. “That’s a foreign name, yes? Chinese?” You asked, to which she nodded in reply. You reached out to touch her hair. “Such beautiful hair you have. You must tell me your secret.” You whispered your last words, giving her a playful wink before moving on to the last servant.

“I-I’m Finnian, milady. But everybody just calls me Finny. I make sure the grounds of the estate are in tip-top shape for the master”, the young boy said shyly.

“So you’re the one responsible for the beauty that surrounds us right now, is it? I’m excited to see what else you’ve done with the grounds. I’m sure it gets better than this.” You look around you before looking back at the young boy, taking your handkerchief and wiping the soot off his cheek. He gasps, staring back at you in awe, finding it hard to reply to you coherently.

Sebastian just stands back, watching you intently. Interesting, he thought to himself as he noticed the effect you have on others; or rather the effect you have on humans. Although, it could very well just be these simpletons, he thought again, staring at the three servants with disdain. Weak. You show a human a fragment of kindness, and they’ll be eating out of your hand. Pathetic.

You felt Sebastian’s eyes bore into the side of your skull, watching your exchange with these servants. Trying to get a read on me, eh? You then spoke up, “My goodness, it seems I’ve lost track of the time. I should be heading back to the ball or my father will go mad searching for me.” You nodded to the servants, “Pleased to meet the three of you. I wish you luck on your tree trimming.”

“Thank you, milady”, they answered simultaneously.

You then turned to Sebastian, “If it’s not too much trouble, Sebastian, may you accompany me on the way back to the manor. I’m afraid I might get lost if I go by myself.”

“Why, it would be my pleasure, madame.”

After parting with the others, the two of you quietly began your walk back to the manor until Sebastian finally broke the silence. “It seems that the Phantomhive servants are quite enamored of you, milady.”

“Oh? And does that include you as well, Sebastian?” You questioned, raising a brow at him.

“Well I must admit, Madame, you are rather intriguing.” He answered you, saying the last word in a sultry tone.

He’s trying to test me; but little does he know, I like to play this game too. You smiled to yourself, steadily watching the ground you walked on. “And I can say the same for you as well as your master.” You replied calmly, blatantly ignoring the tone in his previous words. “No doubt, my father and your master will need to discuss some things once we get to the manor.”

Hmph. This might be a bit harder than I thought. I’d usually have her practically begging me to eat out of my palms by now. Ah well, I do love a challenge. Sebastian thought to himself.  “Ah yes. The Queen’s Spider and Watchdog have much that need to be discussed.” He paused a bit before continuing, “and where might that leave you, milady?” He asked slyly with a small grin.

“Whatever do you mean, Sebastian?” You let his name playfully roll off your tongue before gently placing your gloved hand on his forearm. 

Another strange sensation emitted from the contact between you and Sebastian. This time, you both jumped away from each other, not knowing what to do. You just silently stared at each other in bewilderment, each of you not knowing how to react or what to say. 

What the hell is this? I’ve never experience such a strange interaction. You were trying to organize all the thoughts going through your head while trying to regain your composure. 

Sebastian stood opposite of you, looking just as puzzled. Who... or what, is she? What kind of creature is capable of causing such a reaction from myself? 

The two of you stood there in silence for a bit longer before you cleared your throat, attempting to take control of the situation. “Come now, Sebastian, I suspect my father and your master will be wondering where we are right about now.”

He stared back at you in a daze; he then straightened himself and obliged to your request as he began walking ahead of you. You continued the rest of the walk in complete silence. Although neither of you dared to say a word to each other, the air was thick with tension. It may have made anyone else feel incredibly uncomfortable but the two of you were consumed by your own thoughts. Both of you only looked up occasionally; eyeing the other suspiciously. 

She doesn’t smell like a human. She’s not a divine being either. She also doesn’t appear to be a threat to myself or the young master but her presence does seem to strike up a rather interesting reaction within myself. In fact, she too was taken back by surprise when we made contact. Sebastian pondered, trying to make an assessment of what it was about you that could cause such a spontaneous response from him.

You were doing some thinking of your own, until the two of you were finally near the manor. It was evident that the party was coming to an end as you saw many guests calling upon their carriages to depart. You and Sebastian were able to locate your father and Lord Phantomhive fairly quickly. Upon your arrival, you were warmly greeted by your father. “Ah, there you are, Darling! I was beginning to wonder where it was you managed to slip off to.”

“I was only admiring the grounds of your lovely estate, Lord Phantomhive. Sebastian was kind enough to accompany me.” You stated, slightly turning away from Sebastian but still keeping your eye on him.

“The Phantomhive household is honored to have you grace our grounds, milady.” Lord Phantomhive smiled. “Now that you are both here, I believe there are some forms of business that we all must discuss.” 

The four of us made our way to Lord Phantomhive’s study for a more private conversation. Before we even sat down, Sebastian was already wheeling an assortment of fresh pastries and freshly brewed tea. He poured the tea for his master, your father and you, occasionally stealing glances at you. You eyed him warily before tuning into the conversation between your father and Lord Phantomhive. 

“It seems that we have received instructions from The Queen.” Lord Phantomhive states to your father. “I admit this is a bit unusual for her to ask us to work so closely together like this, seeing that the Spider usually begins his work after I have finished mine.”

“Yes, my lord. But according to our research, there has been a case not unlike this one in the past.” He then turned to you, “Darling, if you would be so kind as to inform the young lord of this past matter.”

You nodded to you father, handing Sebastian the files you have compiled about the case, being careful not to touch his hands. As he placed the documents on his master’s desk, you began, “It is a rare occurrence when the Queen’s Watchdog and The Spider are ordered to work together. Their work goes hand in hand to fulfill their duties to The Queen, yet, they seldom cross paths during a job. Notably, these are the cases that require the most attention, seeing that they have an alarmingly increasing mortality rate. It seems that Her Majesty has become rather upset by the amount of mysterious deaths and disappearances happening in London recently. The victims have all been families of three. The mother and father are found dead; their eyes completely burned out and with no trace of the child.” 

“No trace of the child?”, Lord Phantomhive inquired, looking through the file.

“Yes my lord. The parents are found dead and the children go missing. They have yet to be found; dead or alive.” You paused for a bit to sip your tea before continuing, “Apparently, this is not the first time this has happened. There was a case many years ago in which families of three were found in the same manner. The parents with their eyes burnt out of their sockets and the child gone missing. According to previous accounts of the murders, it was thought that the murderer watched the families for weeks, stalking his prey before the final blow. This all came to an abrupt end before the killer was even caught. Six couples were found dead. Their children were never recovered.”

“I see.” The young lord replied, slowly sipping on his tea.

“Her Majesty has entrusted us with the task of dealing with this problem, discreetly. She instructs that we find the culprit and retrieve the children, preferably unharmed.” Your father adds.

As your father and Lord Phantomhive continue to converse about how to deal with this particular problem, you take a moment to glance at Sebastian as he stood by his master behind his desk. His eyes were trained on the papers his master was given as he intently listens in to the conversation. Your brow furrows while you sit there, studying the butler that stood beside his master. Since he was so enwrapped in the case that lay before him and his master, you took this as an opportunity to take a different approach to finding out just who Sebastian was. If I can just see him through a different set of eyes, maybe I’ll know. Although you were usually able to sense things without any extra help, you knew that seeing things through the eyes of your mother would allow you to see far more than with your human eyes. You closed your eyes for a moment before clandestinely reopening them, hiding the now glowing, purple-red tint of your eyes. Then everything became apparent to you. You observed the dark shadow encasing Lord Phantomhive that was being emitted from Sebastian; tight dark threads connecting them to each other. 

A demon! Your eyes widened ever so slightly as you now can clearly see why Sebastian’s presence was so intriguing to you. And his master. You looked over at the young boy by his side. You quickly reverted your eyes back to their usual (Y/E/C) shade and took another glance at Lord Phantomhive with knowing eyes before tuning back into the conversation. 

“...I believe I have a plan my Lord Phantomhive, if you don’t mind”, at these words that your father spoke, you all turned your undivided attention towards him. He cleared his throat, “All the victims were families of three, yes? The parents and one child?”

“Yes father”, you answered, waiting for your father to finish presenting his idea.

“It’s simple really. We must coax our culprit into coming out by using bait. From where I’m sitting, I see a couple and a child.” 

“WHAT?!”, the rest of you yelped in surprise, all looking at one another.

Your father sipped his tea calmly before resuming, “We can only get so far with questioning and snooping. I’m sure you’re quite familiar with using yourself as bait in this line of work, my lord. Besides, time is of the essence, we’ll be sure to catch our suspect much faster by luring him out. I assure you, my daughter is quite capable; as is your butler. You will be very well protected should there be any problems, my lord.” Your father finishes, setting his tea cup back on the table.

The three of you take a moment to consider the proposal. “I’d have to agree with this idea. It is pretty efficient, my lord.” Sebastian states, rubbing his chin. 

Lord Phantomhive lets out a sigh, “Ah, very well. We will begin preparations as soon as possible. I hope you are up for this mission, my lady.” He says, looking at you.

You nodded, “If you’ll have me, my lord.” 

Your father spoke up again, “Alright so that settles it then. We will find out all we can about the killings and use you three as bait so that we may catch the murderer. Sebastian and (Y/N) will act as a loving young couple looking for a new home with their child which will be played by you, my lord.”

After a few more minutes of discussion, your father decided it was time to take leave. You were seen out by the young lord and his servants. Upon arriving outside, you let out a sigh, considering the amount of work ahead of you all. Lord Phantomhive and Sebastian followed you and your father to your carriage. After waving your goodbyes to the rest of the Phantomhive household, you then turned to the earl and his butler. The young lord gave your father a firm handshake before turning to bid you farewell. 

Sebastian first assisted your father and Adira into the carriage. You eyed him knowingly as he held out his hand, watching you through his lashes. You took his hand, trying hard to ignore what each of you were feeling and gave his hand a quick squeeze before taking a seat next to Adira. Sebastian’s eyes widened in shock at the sudden pressure, but this was quickly covered up with a sly smile. Interesting reaction. You noted to yourself. 

“We look forward to working with you my Lord.” Your father tipped his hat to the young earl, bidding his last farewells. 

Ciel and Sebastian watched as your carriage drove away. “I look forward to working with you too, Lord Herbert.” Ciel says to himself. He then turns his attention to Sebastian, “What is it with you and that girl anyway? I notice your initial reaction to her.” The young master begins to make his way back into the manor. “And what did he mean by saying she was very ‘capable’?”

“I’m keen on finding out.” Sebastian says more to himself than his master, still watching the carriage shrinking off into the distance.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author’s note:

Hope you guys liked it!! Don’t worry, there’s definitely more to come! If you guys have any requests or questions, feel free to message me!! In the future we will delve deeper into the reader’s origins so don’t fret!! Let me know what you guys think!! :) <3

[razieltwelve]

Company (RWBY AU Snippet)

Weiss fought to open her eyes, but it was so much harder than it should have been. The last time she’d gotten a visitor, it had been her father. The less she thought about how his visit had gone, the better. She supposed she should be grateful that he was still paying her medical bills although she doubted affection had anything to do it with. It was all about appearances and upholding their family name. A dead daughter would have been unbecoming of such a prestigious family.

“Hey.”

Finally, Weiss got a look at her visitor. Silver eyes and a warm smile greeted her. “Who… who are you?”

“I just thought you could use a visitor.” The dark-haired woman put down the newspaper she’d been reading. “I come here every day, but I’ve never seen you get any visitors. I mean… there was that one guy who visited about a week ago, but he didn’t seem very nice.”

“He… my father.” It was hard to speak. Weiss wondered how many drugs were running through her veins. Knowing her father, he’d ordered the doctors to make sure she couldn’t finish what she’d started. 

“Your father, huh?” The woman frowned faintly. “Is he always like that?”

Despite the situation, Weiss couldn’t help but give a short bark of laughter. “Yes. Yes, he is.”

“I take it you don’t like him very much.”

“No, I don’t.” Weiss coughed. “The only thing he cares about is our family’s image. He doesn’t give a damn about me or anyone else.” She had no idea why she was saying so much to some random person who’d snuck into her hospital room, but now that she’d started, the words just wouldn’t stop. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to make him proud, but he never said a single kind thing to me. He never once told me he loved me or that he was proud of me. And when I… when I…”

“Your mistake,” the woman said. “Was cutting across your wrists instead of up.”

Weiss closed her eyes. She would have rolled onto her side if she could. Her father’s words along with all the pain and shame she’d felt welled up again.

“It’s okay.” The silver-eyed woman reached out and patted Weiss’s shoulder. Gently, very gently, she picked up one of Weiss’s hands and traced the bandages running along her wrist. “The world can be a very cruel place, and there are times when it seems like the only option is to just… go away.”

Tears prickled at the corner of Weiss’s eyes.

“I’ve seen it happen so many times,” the woman murmured. “And people have all sorts of reasons for doing it. I’m not here to judge you or to tell you that you’re silly or foolish or stupid or anything like that.”

“Then why are you here?” Weiss mumbled.

“I’m here to tell you that I care.” The woman rubbed circles on the back of Weiss’s hand. “Even if it seems like nobody else cares. I do.”

“But you don’t even know me.”

The woman smiled. “Well, perhaps I should introduce myself. Hi. I’m Ruby.” She closed her hand around Weiss’s. “And it’s very nice to meet you.”

“I’m… I’m Weiss.”

X     X     X

Hour by hour. Day by day. Week by week. That was what Ruby had told her to focus on. It was hard, but it was a little bit easier now that she had company.

“Forget your father,” Ruby said. They were sitting on a bench in one of the hospital’s courtyards. Weiss was fairly sure that at least one of the other people in the courtyard had been paid specifically to keep an eye on her. After all, the cover story of a ‘tragic accident’ wouldn’t hold up to scrutiny if something else happened.

“I don’t know if I can.” Weiss shivered despite the warm weather. “If I get better, it’ll be just the same as it always was. He’ll win, and I’ll be right back where I started. I’ll be just another piece on the board that he gets to move around.”

“Then go.” Ruby leaned back and gestured vaguely at the sky. “The world is a big place, Weiss. And it’s beautiful one. Say, have you ever seen the sunrise from the top of the Mistral Mountains, Weiss?”

“No… I haven’t.”

“Well, it’s beautiful. Maybe one of the most beautiful things in the world.” Ruby grinned. “You’re a smart woman, Weiss. Your father likes to play the game, so play. Let him think he’s won, and then go.”

“Go?”

“Take as much money as you can and just… go.” Ruby chuckled. “Think of all the places you could see, all the people you could meet. You said your life felt like a gilded cage, so why not leave the cage behind?”

“He’d find me.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not. You’re smart, Weiss, and it’ll be months before you can leave here. Plan. Prepare. Be ready. And when the moment comes…”

“Just go…” Weiss breathed. Was it possible? Could she do it? Slowly, she turned to Ruby. “Who are you really? You come by every day, and the nurses and doctors never stop you or anything. Do you work at the hospital?”

“Sort of,” Ruby said. “I spend a lot of time here. I guess, people just get used to me. I try to help, but it’s not always easy.”

“So… you’re like a councillor or something?”

“Or something.” Ruby patted Weiss’s leg. “The funny thing about helping people, Weiss, is that no matter how hard you try, you can’t save everybody. The trick is to remember not only the ones you couldn’t save but also the ones you could.”

“And which one am I?”

“I think you’re one of the ones I save, Weiss. But, really, it’s all up to you.”

X     X     X

Weiss got better. It took months, but she got better. Her father, of course, assumed that he’d finally won, that she’d finally come around to seeing the world his way. She bit her tongue and let him keep thinking that. When he finally deigned to visit her again, she just smiled and nodded like the obedient, little doll he expected her to be.

It hurt, but it was worth it. Now that he thought he’d won, he let her see Winter again. Her sister was the only person in her family she could trust. Haltingly, she explained to her sister what she wanted to do.

“I’m sorry,” Winter whispered after Weiss had explained. “I… I joined the military, but I left you behind with our father.”

“It’s okay,” Weiss said. “What he did to me… he was doing to you. I don’t blame you. But I need your help.”

“And you will have it.” Winter nodded fiercely. “Anything you need.”

“Thank you.”

X     X     X

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Ruby asked.

Weiss looked down at her wrists, to where the scars should have been. Of course, they weren’t there. Her father had organised surgery to remove them. It wouldn’t do for anyone to even suspect what had really happened. “Yes. I’m ready.”

“And you’ve got everything?”

“I do.” Weiss smiled viciously. “Dummy accounts with enough money to last me a lifetime, a fake identity just waiting for me, and everything I need to change my appearance and let me disappear.” She took a deep breath. “Thank you, Ruby, for helping me.”

“Don’t mention it.” Ruby patted Weiss’s hand. “It’s been nice getting to know you, Weiss, and it’s been nice knowing I made a difference.”

“You did make a difference,” Weiss replied. “If you hadn’t come to visit me that day…” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“If you want to thank me, then live a good, long, happy life, Weiss.” Ruby chuckled. “And maybe, one day, go visit the Mistral Mountains. Watch the sunrise from up there. Trust me, the view is worth it.”

“I’ll do it.” Weiss swallowed thickly. “I promise I will.” She paused. “I… is there a number I can reach you at or something?”

Ruby gave Weiss a heartbreaking smile. “Oh, Weiss, you’re leaving everything behind, and that’s for the best. I help people when I can, but I think, I hope, that you don’t need my help anymore.”

Weiss nodded slowly. “I understand.” She stood up. “I’m leaving tomorrow, Ruby. Thank you so much.”

Ruby stood up. “You’re welcome.”

X     X     X

Weiss left the next day, and pandemonium erupted. 

The Schnee Heiress had disappeared with more than a hundred million lien. It was an absolute scandal, and it was in all the papers. On her way out, Weiss made sure to send several letters and recordings to certain publications detailing the real reason she’d been in hospital. It was glorious.

And Weiss was already far, far away by the time her father even realised what had happened.

Winter had come through for her. As a specialist working for the government, Winter had contacts, and she’d called on them to craft Weiss a new identity that would stand up to even the most stringent scrutiny.

And so Weiss vanished.

She spent her money frugally, spending a year or two at a time in one place before moving on. She saw the world, and it was beautiful. She loved too, and that was beautiful as well even if she never did settle down. Still, she made friends, real friends, and the years passed filled with warmth and affection. Her past life, the life she’d left behind, felt more and more like a bad dream that she’d finally woken up from.

And then one day, she looked into the mirror and she saw an old woman staring back at her, an old woman with laugh lines and a megawatt smile. And then she remembered one place she hadn’t visited yet, a place she’d promised to go.

So she went. 

And just before sunrise on a cold, windy morning, Weiss stood alone at the top of the Mistral Mountains. The sun rose, and Weiss’s breath caught. It was so beautiful. Faint strands of golden light spilled across the horizon, illuminating the deep, tranquil forest. In the distance, the shimmer of the sea was just barely visible, a glitter, almost like glass, that served as a perfect counterpoint to the endless ocean of green that lay before her.

“Ruby was right,” Weiss whispered as she sank onto her haunches on a rock. The climb had taken far more out of her than she’d thought, and she wasn’t a young woman any more. In fact, she’d just celebrated her eightieth birthday with some of the locals she’d befriended while learning how to make her way up the mountains. They’d called her crazy for wanting to make the climb on her own, but she’d insisted. 

“I usually am.”

Weiss gave a cry of alarm and turned, only to find Ruby standing there. “Ruby?” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “You haven’t aged a day.”

Ruby smiled. She looked exactly the way she’d looked all those years ago. She sat down next to Weiss and put one arm around her. “It’s been a while, Weiss.”

“It… it has.” Weiss leaned against Ruby. She felt cold all of a sudden, and breathing seemed just a little bit harder than it should be. “Why do you look the same?”

“Before i answer that, can I ask you a question?” Ruby said. “Are you happy with the life you’ve led?”

Weiss thought about the life she’d led. It hadn’t always been easy. Starting over after leaving had been scary, but it had been worth it. The things she’d seen, the people she’d met, what she’d gotten to do it… she wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. “I am.”

“Good.” Ruby grinned. “One more question, and then I’ll answer yours. If your life ended now, Weiss, how would you feel?”

Weiss considered the question carefully. “I… I think I’d be okay with that.” She chuckled. “We all have to die someday, right? And this…” Her gaze drifted back to the view in front of them. “This isn’t such a bad place to go.”

“No. No, it’s not, Weiss.” Ruby ran one hand through Weiss’s hair. “You want to know why I still look the same, right?” Weiss nodded. “Aren’t you curious about how I got up here, or how I knew you’d be here too?”

Weiss eased away from Ruby and looked into her eyes. Twin pools of silver greeted her, as deep and implacable as the ocean. “I asked the wrong question, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have asked why you still look the same. I should have asked you who you are.”

“Yes.” Ruby’s lips twitched. “But I think you can guess.”

One by one, the pieces fell into place. Nobody had ever reacted to Ruby at the hospital, but Ruby had talked about always being there. And Ruby was somehow here, on top of the mountain, looking exactly the same as she always had.

“You’re…” Weiss breathed the last word. “Death.”

“Yes.” Death smiled back at Weiss.

“I thought Death was supposed to be scary,” Weiss replied.

“I can be… for some people. But a good person who has lived a good, long, happy life has nothing to fear from me. All things must pass, and a life well-lived is no different. But it is a gentle passing, like the wind rustling through the trees on a warm spring day.”

“Why did you help me?” Weiss asked. “Why… why just me?”

“I try to help as many as I can,” Death replied. “But not everyone accepts my help. You wanted help, Weiss. In those moments, as you lingered between life and death, you begged for help. I answered. And here we are. I think it’s safe to say that I made the right decision.”

“Are… are you here for me now?” Weiss shivered. “Will… will it hurt to die?”

“Oh, Weiss. You died two minutes ago.”

Weiss blinked, and she suddenly realised that she was no longer sitting on Ruby’s right side. Instead, she was sitting to Ruby’s left. On the other side of Ruby was her body. “Oh.” She stared at her body. There was a smile on her lips, and she could almost have been sleeping. “So what now?”

Ruby got up and extended one hand. A door opened up beside her. “Now, you start the next part of your journey.”

“Where will I go?”

“That’s not for me to decide, but I think you’ll like it.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

I wrote this in about an hour after visualising the initial scene with Weiss in the hospital and wondering where it would go. It was written in one sitting without being redrafted, so I apologise if it’s a bit rough. Every now and then I get an idea that just demands to be written, and this was was one of those.

Hopefully, you enjoyed it. Sure, it’s not fluff, but not everything can be fluff.

And if you are struggling, just remember, you’re not alone. There are people who care.

[believerindaydreams]

displacement activity

...the next one after Angel Eyes’ annoying friend Baker shows up, so Blondie’s barely out the door at this point.

"Have fun cooking," Susan says, juggling her purse and a casserole dish with difficulty. Angel Eyes barely manages to lift a keyring off the latter, before she charges off.

Baker stares at them dubiously. "You need your bodyguard to help you make soup."

"Yes."

"Angel, you never let anybody help you make soup. It's your thing! It's what you do!"

"He's the one who knows the recipe," Angel Eyes says, slamming the door hard in Baker's face. There are an unusual number of locks and fasteners on it, more than you'd necessarily expect for a kitchen; and Angel takes care to deploy every last one before he speaks again. "That was largely to get him to go away, he knows I don't ever let anybody help me cook in the field. Although if you have any notions on the subject, feel free to mention."

"Maybe I don't know how to make a good soup," Tuco ventures, taking two tries to pull himself on the heavy steel table. This room is huge, big enough to butcher an ox and cook it afterwards; he wonders if the house came this way or if it was something Angel installed. "I mean, not like a man like you would want to eat."

"I might surprise you."

That grim smile, it's Angel Eyes all over, but also they are alone and the door is locked and he might be forgiven for constructing it as flirtatious. Thank god for Blondie. Having the man between them means nothing can happen, not of too much consequence...

if he passes it off lightly, maybe Angel will take it the same way. "If you need something nice, how about minestrone? Minestrone is easy, anybody can make that."

"Could work, although I do have recipes for that. Mea culpa..."

Tuco snorts. "Your fault for what?" It's nice that Angel Eyes will stop to explain himself, when asked to translate, but that bit of Latin everybody knows.

Though maybe not in Angel's circles. The man looks just a little surprised (mischievous, almost, that expression is only ever fleeting but it makes him feel more at home). "For thinking you'd have something more exotic up your sleeve. I shouldn't have assumed that, or that I was entitled to it if you did- I can see how it might feel too much like your hustle."

"Nobody is going to ask me for the recipe for menudo over a poker game, that's more Spanish than they want to know. You want a recipe for chili that'll make you very sick, I can give you that. Kidney beans without enough soaking...it used to make Blondie mad," Tuco says, absently rubbing his mustache. "He said it was enough to take a mark's money. I said, if they were dumb enough to ask the man they were trying to con for a recipe, they deserved what they got. But I guess we're not in a poker game now..."

He trails off, waiting for Angel Eyes to respond, but the man's hunting through a bookcase now. "You're like Blondie sometimes, you know that? I talk all the time, but when I stop, maybe you still don't say anything."

"I'm listening," Angel Eyes says simply.

His partner also listens to him, so what's the difference here? "Menudo is terrible. All that tripe, I think it was the forfeit for a drunken bet...no, I make decent albondigas but I won't cook that today. Baker's here."

"Not necessarily a sticking point. We could always fob him off with a can of Campbell's."

Tuco trusts Angel enough now, to give him the side-eye when that seems right. "Funny idea of hospitality you have, eh?"

"You've met Baker."

Good point. He switches topics. "And why do you even have canned soup, eh? That doesn't seem much like the Angel Eyes I know-" and stops himself just in time. Damnit, he is not talking to Blondie and ought to remember that.

"Susan uses the kitchen for her own cooking before she goes home, and she says it's a requirement for making genuine hotdish. Naturally I think that's a travesty, but it's worth conceding the point when she feels so strongly about it. Treating the help badly can get a man killed."

Ah, ah- that explains it. All the politeness, the willingness to indulge him. "And you think I'm Blondie's help, eh?"

"If Blondie would just explain himself once in a while," Angel Eyes says, "I might have an answer for that. As it is, I don't know and I'm not guessing."

"Uh-huh- well, I'm not. We're partners." It feels good, to be able to say that out loud. Most anywhere else, it'd be dangerous to even hint what the two of them are to each other. "But you must really not like Baker- the first night we were here, we had the best mole I've ever tasted."

Angel Eyes looks at him quizzically, while dumping an armful of books on the table. "Is that what it was? I'd forgotten."

How you forget a thing like that, well, maybe that's what being rich does to you. "Sure. We parked the station wagon outside, came into this huge house. I thought, this is when he tells me to leave, but you didn't. You even let me pick the supper."

That's a slightly edited version- he remembers lingering at the door while Angel and Blondie had been getting vigorously reacquainted in the hall. Wondering if he should go back to the car, until Angel had opened the door again and told him to come inside already. Maybe Angel doesn't remember that part either, but he's still grateful for it.

"Well, it was never any good asking Blondie what he wanted," Angel Eyes remarks; which is so perfectly true that it makes Tuco laugh.

"But you could have...I don't know. Kept him, thrown me out."

"I wasn't taking chances, after what went wrong the first time. If he needed you to be with him to stay, I was willing to accept that- only that doesn't seem to have worked either. I do seem to keep asking you the wrong questions."

"How's that?"

"You might have told me that Blondie's in the habit of running off."

"Sure. If you'd asked."

"For someone who talks all the time, you're very good at not giving away more than you want known," Angel muses. He's studying the cookbooks now. Clean as if they've never been used, but the spines are cracked and pages torn. They must be in fairly frequent rotation, Tuco decides.

"You knew what I was, when I showed up...well, maybe you didn't. I remember seeing Susan and thinking, no way can that Valkyrie cook anything Mexican. I was wrong about that."

"Brought up in Mexico City," Angel Eyes says at length. "Then she moved north and took up turkey hunting. I gave her some tips on the subject, before hiring her."

Tuco's not sure, whether it's Susan or the glossy pictures of chicken soup that are making Angel smile like that. He's not even very fond of chicken soup and that print would make him smile.

"But you're right. Assumptions are dangerous things, to my way of thinking." Angel Eyes hasn't even taken the gloves off yet, has been flipping through pages mercilessly. "And I seem to have been making too many of them about Blondie. As for you...sub silentio, that's a phrase that might suit you. In silence, that which is implied but never stated."

That'll be something to put on his next postcard. Hey, brother, I met a crazy millionaire who gifted me a Latin phrase, all my own. Maybe you know it...

"More than Blondie, it's difficult to catch you in an actual lie. I have a certain respect for that. Enough to avoid pressing you about anything you'd prefer not to tell- though I have made a few guesses."

It's not that an enthusiasm for poker has taught him, how to sit here calmly swinging his legs and not breaking into a sweat; it's that having the talent made poker an obvious use for it. "Guess all you like. Back to confessions again, eh? Well, I gave you one last night."

"And I haven't given you mine yet," Angel Eyes agrees. "Having something taken away from me- I had a mentor who used to do that, quite often." His smile could be used to flavour a meringue, Tuco thinks; all sour and yet a little sweet. "You might call her a self-help expert. She'd hide my possessions when I wasn't looking, to drill in the point that I shouldn't put my faith in any specific material object."

"You paid her good money for that? If all you want is to have somebody pocket things when you aren't looking, I'll do it for half the price," Tuco jokes.

"That debt's been paid long since," Angel says, somewhat tiredly. Baker is a wearying man to have around the place, Tuco decides; he should do something about that. "Her efforts succeeded."

"...you mean you have all this, wealth and everything, and you don't enjoy it? What's the use of that?"

"Sometimes I ask myself that same question."

Tuco shakes his head. "It'd be different if you'd been poor, like me. If I was rich enough to buy a whole state, there'd still be things I liked better than anything else."

"Like that pack?"

"Like the pack." He considers for a moment, whether to tell the story about how he got it. Decides to hold off (if they're buying and selling stories now, that makes information precious.) "Or the St Christopher's medal my brother gave me, I wouldn't lose that for anything. Some other things, too." It's strangely tempting to mention the jute winding, the one that Blondie begs for at nights, but Angel Eyes must know about that already; and he'd feel wrong mentioning it out loud. Maybe he should, though. It might make Angel Eyes feel less cut off, to find common ground...no, no, that won't work with Blondie away.

He's suddenly aware how lonely this is. Normally when his partner splits he'll go off to find a girl, someone who's soft and dark and won't want anything but kindness and maybe some help with her rent. That doesn't seem like an option this time though, given the current delicate arrangement- damn it, he'd better stop even thinking along those lines. Angel's in much too close proximity, leaning over the table like that.

"Hmm," Angel Eyes says. "This pork egg drop looks promising. And if it doesn't go well, we might have a worse test subject to try it on than our dinner guest."

"At least you like something," Tuco says with relief. "You like soup."

"You say that as if liking is a positive virtue."

"Live with Blondie long enough, you'll decide the same thing just in self-defense. Not that it does him any good- you know I've had just this one bag, for years and years. Cost a lot of money, but it's lasted me. Now he goes and gets a duffle from the Salvation Army every year, and it's cheap and there's holes in it, or the strap's broken or something, not a quarter so good as mine. And he says that's less worldly than loving a pack the way I do- now does that make any sense?"

"There's something to be said for both points of view," Angel Eyes says imperturbably. Tuco rolls his eyes, as he hoists himself off the table.

"How long does making a soup take you, then?"

"Oh. A few hours, generally...it'll be a fine excuse to avoid Baker for a while."

"That's not very polite for a guest," Tuco says gravely. "I'll go talk to him, keep him amused."

"You might not want to do that," Angel says. "Believe me. He's more violent than he looks."

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't need you treating me like the help, either. You want to give me orders, you better put me on a salary first."

For a minute he can see that Angel's actually considering it, hard thought and a note of concern, and it reminds him of this morning's mistrust. This isn't the best idea he's ever had, to be sure.

"I don't know that I could look Blondie in the face when he gets back, if I did that," Angel Eyes says eventually. "Buying you off, I think you'd both consider that an insult."

"True." An insult he might want to take up one of these days, but he's getting a sense of what stakes Blondie's playing for, and they're too good for him to fold just at present.

"So just- be careful. You know where to find me. And tell Baker if he tells me that story about Santa Fe again, I'll serve him up his own head for dinner."

"Done."

Angel Eyes is precise; a few hours means at least two. Baker's been hanging around all day, ignoring every hint to go with the enthusiasm of the truly desperate- or the enamored.

So obviously it's not right for either of them, but maybe a little hospitality will slake both their problems at once...

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Barbie: Princess and the Popstar REVIEW:

 Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and I hate myself. Barbie.

 The Direct-to-DVD Barbie movies aren't something that I, and I assume many of you reading this, ever really thought about to much. They we're always that movie that you would see in the Wal-mart "five dollar" DVD racks. Or maybe you'd see a snip-it of one airing on Nickelodeon at like, twelve o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. Compared to, say, the direct-to-DVD Scooby-Doo movies the Barbie movies seem to be a lot less attention. Which is why it came to such a shock to me that there are SO MANY!  Thirty-six. As of the time of me writing this review there are thirty-six direct-to-DVD Barbie movies. And not only that, but they are divided into several different continuities and "seasons" as Wikipedia list it. The Barbie movies are a massive franchise! I just can't wait until their next film. Barbie: Infinity War. That one will make all the money!  So in order to honor such a long lasting franchise, I figured it was about time somebody gave Barbie the respect she deserves. The movie we're going to be talking about today, Barbie: Princess and the Popstar is the twenty-third entry in what I have titled the Barbie: Cinematic Universe. I had actually seen this one a couple of years ago on Nickelodeon. And it is, as of the writing of this review, the only Barbie movie that I have seen. Why did I choose to watch this movie oh so many years ago do you ask? Well, it was because of the title. Princess and the Popstar. Most Barbie movies have kinda dumb overly girly titles, but this one takes the cake. Princess and the Popstar! Somebody was PAID to come up with this!  And you wanna know the really crazy thing? This isn't even the first Barbie movie to be an adaptation of Mark Twain's "The Prince and the Pauper." There was another, I'm assuming more straight forward, adaptation in 2004. But I guess marketing decided that Mark Twain's classic novel just...didn't have enough pop stars to meet "Girls between the ages of 2-7" demographic.  But hey, maybe the film won't be so bad. I mean the film is directed by Zeke Norton, who directed both Scary Godmother films. And those films...exist. Anyway, no more stalling. Let's dive head first to Barbie: Princess and the Popstar.

 The movie begins with a pop concert. And honestly, I can't imagine it starting any other way.  Famous pop star Keira (voiced by Ashleigh Ball.) is preforming a music tour in the fictional kingdom of Meribella, in celebration of the 500th anniversary of the countries founding. We see her preform her set. We then cut away the kingdoms princess, Princess Tori (voiced by Kelly Sheridan.) standing outside her castle's balcony, listening to the event from a distance.  And if those voice actresses names sound at all familiar to you that's because our two heroines are voiced by Applejack and Starlight Shimmer, respectively, from My Little Pony.

UGH! As if I didn't already have enough reason to hate Starlight Shimmer! ... Starlight Shimmer is the one that everybody hates, right?  Princess Tori wants to go down to the concert, but she is stopped by her Aunt, Dutchess Amelia. And I want you to guess, purely from her design, what her personality is.

If you said, stuffy old authority figure who's too focused on tradition and doesn't get the joke, than congratulations! You can predict a Barbie movie!  Princess Tori wants to go to the concert, but her Aunt forbids it because Tori has to write and preform a speech for the kingdoms five hundredth anniversary event. And she hasn't even started writing it yet. But Princess Tori isn't one for all this "traditional, princess stuff." She's goofy, mischievous, and a bit of a prankster. She's just too much of a rebellious free spirit for all this noise. Like all princesses in animation she dreams of something more. She dreams of being able to live her own life, free from all the rules and restrictions that being royalty presents. But, y'know, she still wants all the riches and glamour. Cause hey, that shit is sweet!  Meanwhile, Keira is busy dealing with all of her pop star duties. She's headstrong, and a bit of a workaholic. She runs every part of her tour, from lighting, costumes, to TV broadcast all herself. She doesn't even let her manager, Seymour Crider, do any of the work and ignores all of his advice. Keira is under pressure from her record label to write a new album. She says she's working on it, but with all the workload of running the music tour she just isn't feeling very inspired. And Crider is the one who has to deal with all the heat from the higher ups. Keira is just tired of all the pressure from the studio, and wishes she could not have all the responsibility of being a pop star. But, y'know, she still wants all the riches and glamour. Because, as we previously stated, that shit is sweet!  I can relate with Keira. The constant stress of deadlines and work on other projects can make ANYBODY feel uninspired. Sometimes people will become so desperate that they'll be willing to do any half-ass project in order to to stay ahead of deadlines. Like doing a lazy Q&A, or reviewing a Barbie movie.  ...  Wait....  So as you may have noticed by now, none of the characters in this movie are named Barbie! So already, this movie is clickbait. As it turns out, a lot of these Barbie movies don't actually star Barbie. Rather they star "characters portrayed by Barbie" which is all sorts of confusing. But hey, it could be worse I guess. They could be portrayed by Amy Schumer. But luckily we still got a few years before that happens.   Oh, by the way, magic exist in this world. Yeah, I know I bring that up pretty suddenly, but so does the film. Princess Tori has a magic hairbrush that changes her hair, and Keira has a magical microphone that changes her outfit. And nothing is really brought up about this. Like the characters in the film say that it's magic, but nothing else is really elaborated upon. Because outside of the magic, the world the film presents seems to more or less be the same as our world. It's not like it's some fairy tale kingdom or anything, it's set in contemporary times. It's never brought up where the magic comes from, it's just there. And it's even weirder because all they use there magic for is for changing there hair and outfit. Y'know, THINGS YOU CAN DO WITHOUT MAGIC!

Either that dress has a very large pocket, or this scene about to get a lot more uncomfortable.    Anyway, the studio blames Keira's manager Crider for not having the album done already. Because like in the real world, pop stars don't have to suffer any responsibility for there actions. Crider is by far the best character in this movie. He is the most over the top, foppish gay man you've ever did see. We learn a bit about his backstory, as he was once a child star himself on this universes version of Alvin and the Chipmunks. But when puberty hit he fell from the lime light faster than Macaulay Culkin. So naturally he is not only bitter at Keira for having to be blamed for all her actions, but also because he is jealous of her fame. He's a great villain not just because of how over the top flamboyant he is, but also because he gives a refreshing breath of cynicism and bitterness that the movie is otherwise lacking. Also he's voiced by Rolf from Ed Edd'n Eddy. He doesn't sound like Rolf, like at all. But simply knowing that makes the whole film a lot more enjoyable.  He tells his bumbling sidekick Rupert (Because why wouldn't he have a bumbling sidekick? I mean have you seen the type of movie this is?) that he plans on meeting Princess Tori's Aunt Amelia during a PR event, wooing her, and then inheriting all her money when she eventually passes away.

 Crider, Rupert, and Keira arrive at the castle the next day and Crider begins his plot to woo the duchess. Meanwhile, Princess Tori and Keira and immediately hit it off. They are both huge fans of the other, and become fast friends. Tori offers to give Keira a tour of the castle. They begin talking about the problems that they are both going through. This is where they hatch the idea to switch places, and do so using there magic hairbrush and microphone, in order to make themselves look exactly like the other.  Oh, and they also each have a dog. Because hey, little girls like dogs. There are some brief scenes we see between the dogs where they talk to each other in "animal language." but overall they don't contribute much to the plot, other than added marketability. Interesting side note, in the 2004 Barbie: Princess and the Pauper film they both had cats instead. Again, I guess dogs were just deemed more marketable.  Keira and Tori, now disguised as each other, continue there tour of the castle. This is when Tori decides to show Keira, the person she literally just met, the castles most valuable secret. A secret that only members of the royal family are permitted to know about. And this is where the movies gets WEIRD!  Okay, so they activates a secret passage and find a tree. And this tree, which only blooms once every five years, is a magic tree. That is guarded and cared for by a group of magically fairies. And the tree grows diamonds, which Tori says royal family uses the money from these diamonds to help the people! Though the fairies still give a diamond each to our protagonist. Again, it's weird because the world they create in this films universe SEEMS fairly real to our own. But then they just add random magical elements to it with no explanation. They could of at least included some backstory on where this tree came from. It feels like there just trying to check stuff off there "pandering to little girls" bingo sheet.

AH! BINGO! I GOT BINGO!  

Unfortunately for our heroines, Tori FORGOT TO CLOSE THE SECRET DOOR PANEL BEHIND HER and Aunt Amelia ends up finding the two snooping around the secret garden. AND SHE DOESN'T CLOSE THE DOOR EITHER! How the heck has this secret been kept for five hundred years? She get's mad at Keira (Who's still disguised as Tori) and the three leave the chamber. But unbeknownst to them, since Aunt Ameila DIDN'T CLOSE THE FRICKIN' SECRET PASSAGEWAY Crider finds out about the diamond tree. And now he decides to change his plan from marrying into money, to just stealing all the diamonds for himself. But that conflict can wait, because we have pop songs to preform.

 This movie has a lot of pop songs. Like, about a third of the movie is pop songs. And I have to say...there actually really good. If you're into that kinda pop punk type of music that is. The voice actresses each have a separate singing voice in the form of Jennifer Waris (Tori) and Tiffany Giardina (Keira) and both singers really knock it out of the part. Not only that but there is also some really well done choreography. Not only that, but the film also really takes advantage of the CG medium, with some impressive camera angles and panning shots. I mean it's not the greatest thing ever or anything, but for a direct-to-DVD Barbie movie, I was pleasantly surprised. I feel like this is where the passion was when it came to making this movie. Like the story was second to the music.

 However, I would be lying if I said that the music didn't drag on a bit. Just due to how much is in the special. Not only that but several songs are used more than once, which isn't that bad because they sound really good, but it does make it feel a bit repetitive. That said though, I was suppressed by how good this aspect of the film was.

 So Tori and Keira both begin trying to fulfill the role of the others. However, the both seem to have a bit of trouble living up to the expectations of there new roles. Typical stuff you would expect from a

"Prince and the Pauper"

adaptation. Tori, now being disguised as a low class...world famous pop star....decided to take this opportunity to explore her kingdom beyond her castle without escorts.

(Because, yeah, a pop star TOTALLY wouldn't have escorts with her when she's walking through the slums of a foreign nation.)

And Tori ends up coming across something she's never seen before. Poor people!

 More specifically two poor little girls, who are taken a back by "Keira's" presence. We learn that, despite how glamorous the castle life is for the royal family, the kingdom itself is actually suffering. A major drought had occurred in the kingdom the year prior, and while the wealthy nobility we're not effected much the poor people are still suffering, and Princess Tori was completely oblivious to what was going on the entire time.

 So now that Princess Tori has finally

 Checked

 HER

CIS

 WHITE

PRIVILEGE!!!

 -she decides to try to do right for the people by holding a free concert for all the underprivileged children. (Since the kids she met weren't able to afford to go to the concert at the beginning of the movie.) Not only that, but the whole royal family would be in attendance, and the concert would be broadcast live on TV to help raise awareness for the issue. Though Tori and Keira agree that they need to make sure they swap back before the concert starts.

 Keira (disguised as Tori) begins to finally be able to relax without all of her pop star-ly duties. She begins to play and have fun with Tori's two little sisters, (who quickly figures out who she is.) And as it turns out, this break from all the stress of preforming and recording is what Keira needs in order to get re-inspired.

 The day of the concert arrives, and Keira tries to meet up with Tori to swap places before the show begins. But rut-row, Aunt Amelia shows up and finds that "Tori" never ended up writing her speech. And because of this, Amelia refuses to let "Tori" go to the concert and locks her in her room. I do like that Keira actually does try to tell Amelia about the body swap ploy, in order to get her to let her out of the room. But Aunt Amelia doesn't believe her, and heads out for the concert.

 As this is all happening, Crider and Rupert begin there plan to steal the diamond tree. They walk back into the castle claiming that the duchess sent them, and because plot the guards just let them in unsupervised.

 Meanwhile at the concert, the crowd begins to get restless, and Tori is forced to go on stage and preform as Keira. She get's onstage, and is nervous. She begins to preform, badly. But then, with the power of "doing it her way"...whatever the hell that's suppose to mean, she is able to give a performance good enough that nobody is able to tell who she is in a pop song performance that last a total of five minutes straight in this seventy minute film!

 The concert is a success. But wait, Crider and Rupert have successfully broken into the castles secret garden and have to face off against the fairies. Hey look, it's fairy vs fairy!

 ...

 Am I allowed to make that joke?

  Also Rupert brought bug spray to kill the fairies, which is pretty horrific for the villains bumbling side kick. Especially when you realize that this would be a Barbie movie that would have one of the villains using chemical weapons on his opponents. Granted, this doesn't happen, because Rupert accidentally bough hair spray instead, but still. It was his INTENT to use bug spray! Also, of course the villains of a Barbie movies use hair spray as a weapon.  

 Crider cuts the roots of the diamond tree all of the trees in the surrounding area begin to die. To which I have to ask....why? Is it like a redwood thing, where all the trees are actually just a part of this one organism? If that's the case than why don't all the tree's grow diamonds? Or is this a magic thing? Prior to this scene the tree was never implied to have any magical abilities besides growing diamonds. Was a jewel heist just not deemed an exciting enough climax, so they felt the need to raise the stakes here?

 Keira, with the help of Tori's dog, are able to find a secret passage way out of the room and she and Tori both notice the dying trees and run to stop Crider from escaping with the tree. They also switch back into there real identity, and I just now realize as I'm writing this that Crider does not question this very much. HE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE WHOLE IDENTITY SWAPPING THING.

 Also, let me talk about something that bothers me. There was this character earlier named Prince Liam who's "potrayed by Ken." He had a few scenes early on with Keira (who was disguised as Tori at the time.) I didn't bring him up because he honestly didn't really do anything that was important to the plot. But then, suddenly in the climax, he shows up like he was a main character or something. And he's annoying. He feels really tacked on, like the producers realized that there wasn't a romance element to this film and decided at the hour mark that there needed to be one. Except that doesn't even work because he doesn't even end up with either girls. With I admit was a pleasant surprise, that neither girls in the movie end up with a love interest. But it makes Liam's existence even more worthless. Also he's kinda misogynistic, talking about saving the "damsels in distress." even though they save themselves. All Liam does is take down Crider's sidekick.

 Crider runs to his limo, but is blocked by the dogs. Cause y'know, a pug and a King Charles spaniel just COMPLETELY BLOCK THE ENTIRE PATH!  So he ends up be stealing a horse drawn carriage in order to make his escape. Tori get's into Crider's limo and we get a kinda fun car/horse drawn carriage chase striped right out of the end of Ouran High School Host Club.  How is it that I've reviewed two things with that very weird and specific climax?  Anyway, they cut off Crider's carriage, but he has an ace up his sleeve. Turns out his leopard print tuxedo is also a GLIDE SUIT and he jumps off a cliff to make his dramatic escape! And that's why Crider the best character in this movie.  But then Keira just zaps him with her magic microphone and turns his suit into a dress. And Tori zaps his hair to make it look more feminine.    The villain is defeated, but the tree is still dead. But Tori has an idea. They suspect that maybe the diamonds that grew off the tree could act as the trees seeds. They go back to the garden and take the diamonds that the fairies gave them earlier and plant them into the ground. The fairies use there magic and at first it doesn't look like it'll work. But then, the tree begin to regrow and all the life returns to all the other trees all over the castle. This is actually a clever twist, except for the fact that the tree still has diamonds on it, even though they specifically say that it takes five years for the diamond to bloom.  BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT, WE HAVE A CONCERT TO FINISH! Yeah, Tori kinda just bailed in the middle of that. Tori and Keira both show up on stage, and preform together. Tori writes her speech and and talks about making changes to the kingdom's irrigation and social serves system to help the people harmed by the drought. Tori learns about responsibility and Keira kinda learns to relax...I guess? And the movie ends on a pop song. Y'know, a good book end.

Puffy Ami Yumi?...  So that was Barbie: Princess and the Popstar! Overall what do I think of it?  Well, to be honest, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda checking the time while watching it. Heck, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't even a little bit tired of thinking about it while writing this review. The main problem is the basic premises. Princess and the pop star. The whole point of "The Prince and the Pauper." is that it's a rich person with a lot of responsibility and a poor person with no responsibility changing places. But here, it's a rich person with some responsibility swapping roles with....another rich person with some responsibility. There's no real contrast, and because of that we only get the bare basics of character development or an actual moral. The overall animation is...okay. You can see there's ambition, but the lack of budget really makes it look like a Sims 3 machinima. The main villain is fun, but the rest of the characters are pretty basic. And the pop songs, while being extremely catchy and well choreographed take up somewhere between a third and a half of the film. And I feel like if the film used more of that time on more important things than maybe it would of been better.  If you want a movie with some so bad it's good elements (some actual good elements worked in) you MIGHT enjoy this film. But you  have to have the patience to get through some of the more tedious bits. Also I feel like a REALLY little girl might like this. I know people say "Kids deserve good things too." and there not wrong. But it's important to remember that kids have different taste than we do. When I was a kid I loved the Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! anime, so that should be evidence of that. But if you want a GOOD girl power type of show or movie....there's plenty better out there. Steven Universe, My Little Pony, Star vs, Hanizuki, the list goes on and on. Those shows are girly AND can be legitimately enjoyed by anybody, young or old. This really can't.  That was my review of Barbie: Princess and the Popstar. If you've seen the movie by some...odd chance...tell me what you think of it in the comments down bellow. I would love to start a conversation. Anyway, see you next time for hopefully something better. Have a great day. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Barbie-Princess-and-the-Popstar-REVIEW-744926224 DA Link

[panda-noosh]

Hiraeth {part two} {demigod!Lance x reader}

Words: 7k

Summary: Your life changed forever that day in the forest. The day the voices got too much. The day that single word brought you to what felt like the very brink of death - that was until Lance McClain, son of Poseidon, arrived to take you home.

Genre: percyjackson!au - angst

Notes: part 1 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8 - part 9 - epilogue -yeehaw, the drama has started. 

-----

Hiraeth - (n) a homesickness for a place you can’t return to, or that never was.

Chapter 2

  Lance stayed by your side when the two of you were finally called for dinner by a most uncertain sounding camper. The girl – Lance later informed you that she was a child of Apollo – had been ordered to merely poke her head inside of the Hades cabin and tell you and Lance that dinner was ready; she had done so, but not before giving you a look that told you she was about to burst into tears simply by stepping foot inside of the cabin.

  Lance's jokes died down. He didn't try and make light of the situation, didn't try and take away any of the shock you were feeling as you walked beside him towards the feasting area of the camp. Your hands were trembling, and you plunged them into the pockets of your coat in any attempt to hide them from prying eyes; what would people around you think if they saw how terrified you were right now?

  Because that was truly the only word you could think of to describe the feelings coursing through you right now, the only logical explanation for the feeling of pure weakness slamming into you. You had lived your life on the streets, had almost been kidnapped on multiple occasions, had been forced to sleep on the cold brambles of a forest almost everyday for the past few years – but this was by far the most mortified you had ever been.

  Lance led you over to the Hades table once the two of you finally reached the feasting hall. Twelve other tables were lined up, filled with chattering people, all of whom paused their conversations to look at you and Lance when you entered.

  Lance placed a hand on the small of your back, pushed you through the gawking crowd a little quicker. “Just ignore them. They do this every time I walk in.”

  You nodded slowly and allowed Lance to lead you over to an empty table on the far side of the hall. It was a direct contrast to the other tables which were spread out before you; they were packed full, some people even being forced to drag extra chairs over just to fight for a space upon the bench. The table you sat down at, though, held no such privilege, as it was completely empty.

  Lance winced as he sat down next to you. “I really shouldn't be sitting here, you know. My table is over there.” He nodded towards another empty table set beside your own.

  “You can go and sit over there if you want,” you mumbled. “I don't mind.”

  “No. No, it's alright. I like the company.” He nudged your arm gently, but you paid him no attention. “Besides, it gets a little lonely. I'm sure Chiron won't mind if I give our newcomer a bit of a run-down on how meal times work.”

 “I'm not really all that hungry.”

  Lance frowned. You could feel his worried gaze pouring into the side of your face, could tell he wanted nothing more than to tell you to suck it up, because every single person in this camp had been through the exact same experience you had just been through; being told the deadbeat parents they always believed they would never figure out the identity to was actually an Olympic god.

  And it still felt so surreal, even though you had pinched yourself a thousand times just to confirm it wasn't a dream – a nightmare.

  Lance didn't say much after that. He simply stood up, went over to the buffet and stacked two plates full of food. He placed one in front of you, sat down, and started eating from his own.

  “I scraped a little bit into the sacrifice fire for you,” he told you through a mouthful of rice. “That might entice Hades to come forward a little sooner.”

  You raised a brow, head shooting over to look at him. He didn't seem to realise what he had just said, as he continued to stuff rice into his mouth, curiously glancing around at the campers.

  “Come forward?” you repeated. “What are you talking about?”

  “The claiming,” said Lance, as if it was obvious. He glanced over at you, noticed your confused expression and sighed, setting his fork down and turning his full attention to you now. “A claiming is basically whenever a god finally – well, claims their child. It's a big deal around here, and it's not usually very subtle.”

  “Have you had yours?”

  He nodded, but seemed to almost wince at the memory. “Mine was awful. Dad must have thought he was being a prankster or something – trying to keep up with the kids, you know? He ended up doing it whenever I was doing my introduction speech to the camp. Nobody knew who I belonged to – I was just the five year old who walked in with bruises, not knowing where he was. Chiron ended up making me introduce myself to everyone, and it was then that good old Poseidon decided to inform him of my parentage – it was traumatic.”

   You narrowed your eyes. “What happened?”

  “This massive trident thing started glowing above my head,” he explained. “Obviously, everybody else knew what it was but me, and they all started freaking out. 'A child of one of the Big Three!' You could have sworn I'd just spontaneously combusted in front of them all with how panicked they got.”

  He scoffed and shook his head, diving back into the rice he was eating with a casual aura glaring off of him – you continued to stare at him, hand trembling. How had he gotten over such a thing? How could he sit beside you now and talk about such a moment with little care in his voice at all? You were certain that if something like that were to happen to you, you would be traumatised forever.

  You swallowed thickly and turned back to the plate in front of you – there would be no point in dwelling on it now. No point at all. What was done was done, and you couldn't help who your father was. You would just have to try and push through, just like Lance had been doing all these years.

  Dinner continued. Conversation from the other tables was loud and boisterous, but you and Lance were fairly quiet. Every now and then Lance would nudge your elbow and point out something he believed to be humourous, and you would put on a fake little laugh just to make him happy – in reality, all you wanted to do was curl up and sleep, forget this day had even happened. Maybe you would wake up back in the brambles, a headache still splitting through your skull. Maybe this was a dream, and you were just struggling to get out of it.

  As dinner drew to a close and the sun slowly started to descend behind the mountains, Chiron stood up from the table that was placed at the front of the hall. You hadn't even noticed him sitting up there until now, though now that he had made himself known, you were unsure how you could have missed him at all. Sitting next to him was a shorter man in a Hawaiian shirt, a greying beard and curly dark hair – he seemed to be scowling up at the centaur before him, taking frequent sips out of the wooden mug he had.

  “Half-Bloods!” Chiron suddenly cried, making you jump. The camp immediately went quiet and directed their attention to the centaur. “I hope you all ate plenty, for training will continue tomorrow and you will need all of your energy for next weeks game of Capture the Flag.”

    Howls erupted from the Ares table, a boy standing up on the chair and yelling, “We're gonna destroy you!” to nobody in particular.

  Lance leaned in and whispered, “The Ares kids get a little bit excited about Capture the Flag.”

  You dumbly nodded.

  Chiron continued. “Alright Sebastian, settle down, settle down. Although Capture the Flag is a big topic of conversation lately, there is something else I know you are all extremely curious about – our newest camper.”

  You clenched your jaw as heads span around to look at you. A few people even went as far as to stand up on their seats in an attempt to get a better look at you.

  “This is Y/N L/N, an unclaimed Half-Blood who came upon us today thanks to Lance McClain, son of Poseidon.” Lance grinned, waved as if he was waving to a crowd of fans. “You will all treat her with the utmost respect and I hope you can all find it in your hearts to welcome her with open arms – we all know what it feels like to join Camp Half-Blood for the first time, and it is nothing short of a scary experience.”

  “How can you expect us to welcome a child of Hades?” a voice yelled out over the crowd. Immediately a bursting symphony of agreement fled over the hall, enticing an entire conversation that blocked out Chiron's speech.

  You wanted to disappear.

  You huddled your arms into your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible as the protests continued. Lance placed a gentle hand on your arm before ruining the gentle moment by swinging his head over his shoulder and yelling at a Hephaestus kid to mind his own business.

  “Everyone! Everyone!” Chiron barked, slamming his hoof against the wooden ledge he was seated upon. “Y/N is unclaimed as of right now, meaning none of us have a right to claim her to be the child of the Underworld ruler – but if that is the case-” He knew full rightly that was the case. “-then we will continue to treat her with just as much respect as we would treat anybody else. This is not up for debate! You all know better than to judge a person based off of their parents actions!”

  “She can raise the dead, Chiron!” someone yelled. “I don't mess with that kind of black magic!”

  Your eyes widened. You weren't sure where the panic stemmed from, but it burst within you at a moments notice and there was no catching it. Lance's hand tightened on your arm as the exclamation settled – he had clearly meant to tell you that little nugget of information later on.

  You span around on the bench to face him with wide eyes as Chiron continued trying to settle the crowd down.

  “Raise the dead?” you hissed.

  Lance winced, tried to cover it by awkwardly smiling at you. “Surprise?”

  You tugged your arm out of his grip. You felt like water was rising above you, slowly dragging you under, slowly clawing away at your oxygen supply until there was nothing left. You stood up from the bench before you could stop yourself, before you could realise that you were currently standing amongst a group of demigods who could so easily put you down with a simple flick of their wrist.

  “Y/N, please-” Lance started, reaching up to grab you.

  You stumbled away from him, and the crowd grew quiet, turned to see what you were doing. You didn't care. You looked up at Chiron just the once, dared him to say anything, before you were spinning on your heel and marching away from the dinner hall.

  You got as far as the Athena table before your head started to hurt.

  It might very well have been the worst pain you had ever felt in your life. Blinding, white hot, as if somebody was continuously splashing flames against your forehead. You cried out, gripped your temples tightly in any attempt to ease the pain that was coursing through you, but it was no use. It continued to fight against your grip, forcing you to your knees. Despite the camps previous protestations against you, you were surprised to find a few of them rushing to your aid, calling out for somebody to get a medic.

  “Let the Apollo kids through! Let them through!”

  But it was Lance who crumbled to your side. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugged you into him and started whispering soothing words in your ear; you could hear him. You could hear him, you realised, because there were no voices. It was just pain. Just pure, unfiltered pain and you had no idea where it had come from.

  An Apollo kid kneeled down on your other side and gently took your head in her hands. She ran her fingers along your forehead, concentrating, tongue peaking out of her mouth. You had an urge to pull away, to tell her to leave you alone, but you had to admit that the touch she currently wielded upon your skin was bringing you some form of relief.

  But then her blue eyes widened, and her hands were falling from your face. She stumbled back, very nearly trampling over the shoes of the people circling you. Even Lance's grip seemed to falter across your shoulders, but he made no attempt to pull away from you.

  “Oh gods,” the Apollo girl whispered.

  “What? What's wrong?” you asked, before another strike of pain darted through your forehead, causing you to keel over. Lance tried to hold you up, but his grip was weaker now and it was clear he was feeling the same sense of shock as everybody else surrounding you. “What is it?” you cried. “What is happening?”

  Lance's hands zoomed up from your shoulders and to your jaw; he tilted your head upwards, forcing you to look at the blinding light above you – it wasn't the sun. It had definitely not been there before.

  Through the prickle of tears, you could just barely make out the symbol glowing, big and bright, above your head – a skull and crossbones.

   Chiron stepped down from the dais. Everybody fell silent, but you could still hear the pantings of scared campers.

  “You have been claimed,” the centaur said, a slight hint of disappointment evident in his voice. “Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, daughter of Hades – god of the Underworld.”

  ---

  You didn't sleep well that night.

  All alone, curled up in the Hades cabin with the covers draped over your head. You were trying to block out the noise of the draft wafting in from the under the door, the sharp scream of the wind outside; Lance had told you that the weather was controlled entirely by Chiron, and you had half a mind to get out of bed and tell Chiron to stop making it so drafty.

  But you didn't, because you felt as if you could barely move.

  Your stomach was made of lead, it seemed like. Your legs were still weak from the pain that had coursed through you only a few hours prior, and, quite honestly, you just didn't want to leave the confines of the cabin. That meant facing people – people who very clearly didn't want to see you.

  The next morning, you didn't leave your cabin until a few hours after you had awoken. You could hear the other campers filing out of their cabins, making their way to the breakfast buffet which you had hastily decided to skip – you would get something later on, whenever the dining hall was less packed full of people who thought you were going to kill them.

  It was only whenever the darkness of the cabin started to gnaw at you did you finally get out of bed, get dressed into the orange shirt and trousers that had been left for you, and head outside.

  The camp was in full spirits. People were sword fighting to your left, people were messing with the elements to your right. Chiron was wading between people, grinning and giving them pointers on how to hold a gods damned spear.

  You nearly guffawed, very nearly stumbled over your own feet at such a bizarre sight – these people couldn't have been older than eighteen, and yet they were marching around with weaponry in their hands, slicing at the air as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

  “Shocking, huh?”

  You span around, nearly slamming into Lance. How he had snuck up behind you without making a noise was beyond you, but you decided not to question it. Instead, you folded your arms over your chest and ran your eyes down his figure.

  He was dressed in an orange shirt that matched yours, his blue jacket draped over his shoulders. He was eating a churro, and holding a still fully-intact churro in his other hand.

  He noticed you staring at it and quickly thrust it in your direction. “I noticed you didn't come down for breakfast this morning.”

   You gratefully took the churro from him and nibbled on it as you watched the campers fighting in the fenced off area in the middle of the camp.

  “You're gonna have to start doing that eventually, you know,” Lance said.

  You scoffed. “I'm okay, thanks. I don't think I'd work well with a sword in my hand.”

  “Well, it doesn't have to be a sword,” he said. “You could have a dagger, or a spear, or a trident, or a -”

   “Or a pitchfork. Those are most commonly seen as symbols of death.”

  Lance pursed his lips, immediately making you feel guilty for bringing the mood down; you shouldn't be speaking to him in this way, with so much hostility. He was one of the only people in this camp who were truly still supporting you, who didn't shiver every time you looked in their direction.

   You sighed and nudged him gently, similar to the way he always nudged you. “Sorry. I'm still a bit . . . Shook up over what happened yesterday.”

  “At dinner?”

  You nodded. “I just don't understand why it had to happen there. Surely Hades – my – my dad – has a bit more kindness towards his kids than that.”

   “My dad did the same thing. They're very strong gods, Y/N, meaning they make very strong children.”

  “I must have got more of my mothers genes-”

  Lance suddenly grabbed your elbow, forcing you to look at him. His face had morphed into a stern expression, his sharp jaw clenched and the veins in his neck protruding from the tanned skin. “Don't say that. I know this is weird for you, but this is your life now – this is who you are. There's a reason people are so scared of the children of the Big Three. We're powerful. Once we lodge ourselves into our powers properly-”

  You shrugged your arm out of his grip. “I don't want to lodge into my powers. From what I've heard, I have the ability to raise the dead, and that doesn't sound like something I'm particularly excited to do.”

  “They were being dramatic whenever they said you could raise the dead,” Lance mumbled, sheepishly taking another bite of his churro. “You can control the dead – you're not making them come back to life or anything. It's skeletons who are under your control.”

   Your mouth ran dry. You fought off the urge to laugh at him, because you knew he was telling the truth. That was all he had been doing since the day he met you – just because it sounded unbelievable, didn't make it a lie.

  “The sooner you start training, the better,” continued Lance. “How about me and you go down to the lake after lunch today and see what you can do?”

   “I can't do anything,” you replied. “I didn't even know I had powers until yesterday.”

  “Well then we'll start you off.” He smiled down at you, as if the idea of your life changing forever was something that amused him. “I'm a good teacher, I promise.”   ---

  The lake glistened. At the moment, it was the only comfort you were being given as you nervously waited for Lance to make his appearance.

  You had agreed. Foolishly agreed to let him train you in the art of godly powers. Lunch had just ended, and you had spent the time pacing the camp nervously, not having the confidence to show your face amongst the other campers just yet – you weren't sure if you ever would.

  They had every reason to be terrified of you, of course. You knew that. Apparently you held a power that they could only dream of, and because of your parentage, they were terrified of you. Again, you couldn't blame them. If you were in their position, you would be scared as well.

  You folded your arms and stood over the edge of the lake, half tempted to slip your shoes off and dip your toes in. You could see the tiny little fish swimming around, darting to the surface every now and then before splashing back amongst the soft waves with a splash.

  You smiled. It was peaceful. There was nobody here to disturb you, nobody who was terrified of you. It was just the fish, and the moon, and the soft sway of the-

  Your thoughts were cut off as the lake suddenly exploded.

  You cried out, stumbling back so hastily that you ended up tripping over your own feet and crashing onto your backside in the dirt. The water exploded up around you, rained down on your head until – for the second time in two days – your hair was draped over your eyes in soaked sheets.

  After the water had splashed back into the lake, you could make out the sound of Lance's hysterical laughter behind you.

  “I had to!” he exclaimed. You scrambled back onto your feet, turned to face him with a glare. He was doubled over, one arm looped around his middle, one hand pressed against his knee. “I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay? I just – The opportunity was too perfect to miss!”

   You grumbled under your breath, slamming your hands into his shoulders. He chuckled at the action, slowly straightening himself back up and giving you an apologetic smile that you merely scowled at in response.

  “Alright, alright. Let's get started,” he said, a hint of humour still evident with every word. “We should probably start by doing nice stretches.”

  You raised a brow. “Stretches?”

  He paused, looking at you curiously. “I don't really know what powers you were granted when you came out of the womb, meaning we have to be prepared for anything. You could very well injure yourself if we're not careful. Now, this is a stretch I like to call the Cockroach-”

  “Can we not just – I don't know – mess around with some tactics and see which one works?”

  Lance frowned, pausing in the odd pose he had taken up. Upon seeing that you hadn't been following his instructions, he quickly scrambled up and ran his hands down his blue jacket, coughing awkwardly. “Right. Yeah. That sounds like the best option.”

  “Show me how you work your powers,” you said, stepping away from the lake and allowing Lance to take centre stage. He shot you a wary glance before stepping forward, and you could make out the soft hue of pink that was slowly crawling up his neck.

  You hid your amused smile behind your hand, watching him closely.

  You had to admit that Lance was powerful. He worked the water so well, as if it was made for him, as if he had formed every lake in the universe and knew exactly how each of them worked. He had closed his eyes, took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders back – and then he started.

  It was like watching a water show at the zoo or something. It oddly brought you back to childhood, and you realised that it wasn't entirely down to the water that was currently forming shapes around you – it was Lance as well. It was the energy he gave off, the pure and raw joy he seemed to radiate at all times, but now more than ever. He was always smiling, always telling little jokes to make people laugh, but you had never seen the man look so. . . at home.

  He moved his hands fluidly in front of him, and the water rose up into the air. It was in sheets at first, before he crossed his hands over his chest and the droplets crashed together, forming the shape of a dolphin leaping out of the water. The figure wiggled in the air for a moment before Lance put his hands back to his side and it delved back into the lake, disappearing for good.

  And then he was creating more shapes – wolves grazing through mountains, a kitten playing with a ball of yarn, a centaur that looked suspiciously like Chiron – that one made you laugh, a real laugh that you hadn't heard from yourself in a very, very long time.

  But Lance kept his eyes closed, and you were too in awe to stop him. Your fingers were itching to do the same, to work the water even though you knew you couldn't – whilst Lance had the beautiful abilities of manipulating the water into gorgeous shapes, you would soon find yourself doing the complete opposite.

  Your powers were ugly, and his glistened.

  It took a few minutes for Lance to finally come back to earth. His eyes popped open and he let his hands fall to his sides, the water dropping from the air and landing with a splash back into the lake. He turned to look at you, nervously scratched the back of his neck and gave you a sheepish smile that told you he very rarely showed off his powers to people – you had no doubt in your mind that nobody ever really asked.

  You started clapping, slow and truthfully. Lance flushed a deep red colour, waved his hand in front of his face as if telling you it wasn't a big deal, but you couldn't stop the smile from arising on your cheeks.

  “That was incredible,” you said. “You're incredible.”

  Lance grunted. “It was nothing. That's not gonna help me if I'm under attack.” He turned back to the water, clicked his fingers, and immediately the water started swirling around at a speed you could barely comprehend. It blew your hair out of your face, sent tiny droplets of water spraying across your skin. You could taste the salt water, crinkled your nose up but continued to watch with curiosity nonetheless.

  “A whirlpool,” Lance explained. “I know you have those in the mortal world, and they're very dangerous.” He clicked his fingers again and the whirlpool froze. “I don't do that often. Chiron warned me it wasn't the best for my reputation to start showing people the height of my strengths.”

   “He isn't exactly wrong.” You stepped forward, craned your neck to get a better look at the water. “I think it was beautiful, though.”

   Lance was silent for a moment. You continued to look down into the water, curiosity getting the better of you. It was funny how you could change mood so quickly, how you had once been dreading the idea of working your own powers, but now that you had seen Lance do it so well, you suddenly craved to feel the same way.

  Lance coughed, breaking the silence in his usual, awkward way. “Alright then. Let's get started with you, shall we? Stand in front of me and don't break eye contact. Whatever you do, keep your eyes on me.”

   You nodded, unsure as to what he was doing but refusing to question it. You stood in front of him, let your eyes burn into his blue ones. He narrowed his own, raised a brow, tilted his head – testing you to make sure you never once broke the eye contact.

  You giggled as he quickly zoomed to the left. Your eyes followed him and he grinned.

  “Good. Now, what I want you to do is conjure up an image that makes you angry – any image at all. A memory, a person's face – think of Keith, for example. Keith Kogane. The guy with the ugly hair and the red jacket.”

  “I don't know who that is.”

  “Lucky you,” mumbled Lance, before shaking his head and getting back to business. “I need you to think of something that just infuriates you. Strong emotions are key for bringing up somebody's powers.”

  There was plenty that made you angry, you realised. You thought long and hard, the different experiences you had been through in life flashing through your mind, reminding you of all the times you could have very easily slammed your fist into a wall.

  But there was one memory that was immediately brought to the forefront, a memory that immediately made true anger swell in your very being.

  It was the one memory you had left of your mother – the memory of her drinking as your young self stood in the doorway, begging for her to make dinner. She had acted like she hadn't even heard you, continued to take a swig of her drink, before she had turned to you and spat, “You aren't my daughter. I didn't give birth to a mutant.”

  Lance must have noticed the flash in your eyes. He nodded slowly to himself, placing his hands on your shoulders as he continued to give instructions. “Now I need you to channel that anger all throughout your body. It might sound confusing, but I know you can do it. You'll feel it – all of us Half-Bloods do. It's strong, unlike any human emotion. Do you understand?”

   You nodded. You understood perfectly. The memory you had chosen was dancing on the brink of your brain, and you understood, even though it was nothing you had ever experienced before. You clenched your fists, felt the anger spearing through you, trickling through your very system like the water Lance had just manipulated.

   Mutant. Mutant. Mutant.

  Your stomach clenched. You gritted your teeth. You had never let your anger go on for so long, so harshly. You were usually so adamant to stop it, never wanting trouble that was unnecessary.

  But now it was being let free, and you thought about your mother and the shit she had put you through purely because of your father.

  It was her fault you had been alone your entire life. It was her fault you had never known who you were, where you came from, where you belonged. Because as you stood on the edge of this lake now, with anger spearing through you and Lance nodding enthusiastically in front of you, you realised that this very place was where you should have been the entire time. With people like you. Proving to them that you could be an equal, even though your father was a god who provoked such fear in people.

  And then something popped.

  You heard it dimly in the back of your head, and it immediately startled you back to reality. Your fingertips tingled, every bone in your body vibrating beneath your flesh.

  You backed out of Lance's grip, suddenly afraid of hurting him somehow, even though you were completely oblivious to what you had done. Lance was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes twinkling.

  You continued to back up, back up, back up, until your heel crashed against something and you fell backwards with a yell.

  You crumbled to the floor, eyes immediately darting to the thing you had fallen over – and what you saw made your heart fall to your stomach.

  It was a single bone, sticking up out of the mud. It looked to be the bone of a finger, as if a skeleton had tried crawling out of the ground but had gotten stuck just as they reached the surface.

  “No,” you croaked out. “No, no, no. I didn't do that, did I? That was here when we got here, wasn't it?” Your eyes snapped up to Lance, who was looking at you in shock, as if he had fully expected you to love the idea of yourself causing skeletons to crawl up out of the floor. “Lance, please tell me-”

    “I told you it was dark magic!”

  Your eyes snapped up to the path that led out of the lake. Standing there was a tall man with long, white hair tied up in a ponytail. He wore a purple jacket and the same orange shirt underneath, a fairly well-beaded necklace strung around his neck.

  He was looking at the bone at your feet, half in horror and half in amusement.

  Lance was immediately standing in front of you, kicking the bone back into the mud and covering it with soil. You watched him do it, feeling horrible –  was that truly the hand of a dead person? Lance had just kicked it back into the dirt as if had been nothing.

  “Get back up to camp, Lotor,” Lance growled. “There's nothing to see here.”

   “Well clearly that's a lie,” 'Lotor' sneered. “She's just tried bringing the dead back up! When Mr D finds out about this, he's going to be-”

   “Mr D knows that Y/N needs to train. He isn't going to do anything.” Lance smiled then. “He already thinks you at the Ares cabin are pretty wimpy anyway. Wouldn't want to throw your siblings under the bus any more than they already are, would you?”

  Lotor's lips curled into a snarl as he kept his eyes firm on Lance – Lance knew he was stronger, and Lotor knew that too. Although he had yet to back down, he had yet to make a move, either.

  Finally, Lotor scoffed and swung his head back, the stray strand of white hair being pushed back by the movement. “You should watch who you spend your time with, Lance. This might very easily come back to bite you in the ass, and we both know your father isn't too keen on protecting his off-spring.”

  With one final glare in Lance's direction, Lotor turned on his heel and headed back up the path.

  You leaned forward and pressed your head in your hands. “They all think I'm doing dark magic.”

  Lance sighed. You heard him kneel down beside you, felt his skinny arm once again wrapping around your shoulders. “Don't listen to Lotor. He's just angry because his dad isn't one of the Big Three and he doesn't feel special – Ares sleeps around with mortal women all the time, which means Lotor is one amongst many. He's just angry that Chiron doesn't pay him as much attention as he does to us.”

  You nodded slowly, trying to understand what Lance was saying but failing to do so. Lotor didn't seem like the type of man who was just pushed off to the side – he had a sense of authority radiating off of him that had almost stunned you when he first appeared, very nearly made you feel as if you were about to be told off by a superior.

  “You did a good job today, though,” said Lance softly. You looked up and gave him a grateful smile, despite the horror you still felt at the idea of you unearthing a dead, decomposed body. “Not many demigods are able to grab onto their powers so early. You must have been really angry.”

  He chuckled nervously. You gave him the benefit of the doubt and laughed along with him, even though you didn't feel humourous or joyful in the slightest.

  “I think we should wait until later on until we do anything else,” you said. “At least until the other campers have gone to sleep.”

   “You don't really care about what they think, do you?” Lance asked, helping you up as he did so. “Y/N, you have every right to train with your powers – just as they do. They can't stop you.”

   “I know that. I know.” You ran a hand through your hair. “I just don't want the campers to be any more afraid of me. Whilst I have a right to train, they also have a right to not live in fear, you know? I've only been here a day – I'm trying to make a decent first impression.”

  Lance pursed his lips and continued to stare at the back of your head as the two of you descended from the lake.

  ---

  Lance all but forced you to join him for dinner the previous day.

  You had been avoiding his training sessions all day, instead busying yourself with trying to rack up a few more clothes from the other cabins – the campers had been too afraid of you to say no, and had given you everything you needed upon you asking for it.

  But now, you sat beside Lance at the Poseidon table, trying your hardest to avoid the glares being sent to the back of your head by Lotor and his friends over at the Ares table, which was always the loudest at dinner.

  Lance chewed on a piece of steak, letting out soft 'mm's' of appreciation. You picked away at your own meal, finding it too difficult to eat anything that you had to chew – you felt as if your throat had closed up completely.

  Lance stuck his fork in your face, a piece of steak pierced through the tongs. “Want a bite?”

  You pushed his arm away. “I'm good.”

   “You have to eat something.” Lance groaned, set his own fork down and picked up yours. You watched on in amusement as he pierced a piece of asparagus and brought it to your lips – you couldn't hold back your giggle, giving Lance the perfect opportunity to slip the asparagus into your mouth.

  You chewed on it, shaking your head. “I'm not a baby.”

  “Until you start acting like an adult, that's how I'm gonna treat you.” He roughly bit at his steak again, gravy spewing down his chin. “I did not travel for four days straight to find you, just for you to arrive at Camp Half-Blood and starve to death. It's not happening.”

  “You must feel real good knowing you've basically saved my life.”

   Lance shot a glare in your direction, mouth still full of steak. “I don't appreciate the sarcasm.”

  You giggled, but continued to eat your dinner – he was right. At the end of the day, eating was the best thing you could do. Years of malnutrition should have had you mauling the food in front of you – you had a chance to repair your damaged body, and you needed to take it.

  Dinner went on. You and Lance continued to joke around, him finishing his meal and immediately beginning to complain about how he would have had more if he wasn't forced to scrape half of his meal into the sacrifice fire up at the front.

  You listened to his complaining until they were drowned out by the screaming.

  Your head snapped up, fear slamming through you instinctively. It seemed as if the rest of the camp didn't have those natural moments of debate, as almost immediately, Lance and the rest of the campers were jumping out of their seats and barrelling down the hill towards the noise.

  You swallowed thickly before following close behind them; they were all heading down to the lake.

  “What's going on?”

   “Is anyone hurt?”

   “Let the Apollo cabin go first, just in case!”

  You lagged behind, standing on your tippy-toes at the back of the crowd in your attempts to see what all the hassle was about.

  The gasps confirmed something for you – this was not a false alarm.

  A girl in a green jacket suddenly threw herself forward into a man in yellows arms, gasping for air. Tears were streaming down her face, and as soon as the man in yellow wrapped his arms around her, she broke down. She buried her face in his shoulder and started wailing, too overwhelmed to describe what she had just witnessed.

  You risked stepping forward, and immediately regretted it.

  Because laying by the edge of the river was a dead body.

  Dead in a way you had never seen before, and you had seen plenty of dead bodies in your time. Living on the streets made it difficult to avoid seeing dead bodies, hidden behind alleyways, bodies of your friends who had gone one day too long without food. But this was unlike anything you had ever seen.

  It was the body of a man with ginger hair and a ginger, curled moustache. He was sprawled out in the dirt, and there were black veins crawling up his body, attacking his arms and his neck until his face almost looked inhuman. His mouth was open as if he had been screaming, his eyes wide and the glasses on the edge of his nose shattered.

  Chiron pushed forward. “Coran.”

  “What happened to him?” Pidge, the girl in green, wailed. “I was just – I was walking down here to go and feed the serpents, and he was just there!”

  “Who is responsible for this?” Chiron bellowed, as if he genuinely expected an answer. “This was not an accidental death! The gods will have seen the culprit-”

  “We don't need the gods help.”

  All eyes snapped over to Lotor, who took a big and bold step forward into the spotlight. Lance reached out and grabbed your hand – you hadn't even realised he had come to your side.

  Lotor turned and faced the crowd. “This was the work of dark magic – we all know there's only one person here who has the ability to kill, whose father prides himself on death – this was the work of Y/N L/N, daughter of Hades.”

    “Shut your fucking mouth!” Lance suddenly yelled, and for the first time, it was you who had to tangle your hands with his own, tugging him back before he could throw himself towards Lotor. “Chiron, you don't believe a word he says, do you? That douchebag has had it out for the kids of the Big Three since he stepped foot inside of this gods damned camp!”

  “Stop yelling, Mr McClain.”

   “Not until he admits he's just being a jealous little prick!”

  “Lance!” you exclaimed, tugging him back roughly. Lance stumbled into your chest, his breathing heavy. He never once took his angered glare off of Lotor, who was simply shaking his head in faux disappointment.

  “You see, Chiron?” he said. The centaur had his head bowed, looking down at the dead body at his hooves. “The children of the Big Three are as we always suspected – uncontrollable, dangerous. Lance loses his temper and starts yelling to the heavens almost as soon as somebody disagrees with him. Is it really that big of a stretch to think that the daughter of Hades has the same temper, that perhaps she took things a little too far?”

  “She hasn't even known she's a Half-Blood for more than two days,” Hunk, the man in yellow, spoke up. “I find it hard to believe she's already capable of killing a man.”

   Lotor grinned now. “Funny you say that, Hunk. I happen to have bore witness to her unearthing a skeleton only yesterday afternoon – she's a lot more powerful than we've given her credit for.”

  Chiron's head snapped up. Your body froze, horror flooding through you – oh gods he was right.

  “Is this true, Miss L/N?” Chiron asked, voice wavering.

  You swallowed the golf ball sized lump in your throat, head snapping left and right, as if begging the other campers to step in and help you – you didn't know what to say. Did you confess and make yourself seem powerful, or did you lie and make yourself seem guilty?

  It was Lance who eventually answered for you. “Pointing your fingers at the new girl purely because she's powerful is a bullys move. You know that, Chiron. You're better than that.”

   Chiron whinnied. “I don't know what to think right now, Lance.”

    “You need to start looking into the real evidence!” Lance barked. “Hunk was right – Y/N hasn't even known she's a demigod for that long. She had a strike of luck yesterday with her powers, but even then she was only able to unearth a finger from a skeleton – she's most definitely not at the level to kill someone!”     “This coming from another child of a Big Three god,” Lotor sneered. “You protect each other because you're both outsiders. It's obvious to see.”

   “If you don't shut your gods damned mouth, Lotor-”

   “Enough!” Chiron barked, holding up a hand to silence the arguing demigods. “I will look into this. Until I can rule out the suspects, Y/N is at the top of my list.”

  “Chiron-” Lance wailed, but you stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. He inhaled deeply, stepped back and bit down into his bottom lip, clearly trying to hold back his temper.

  Chiron shot you an apologetic glance, the last piece of hope he was going to give you that he didn't truly believe Lotor's claims – but you couldn't blame him for keeping you under close eye. You were the new arrival, had the power to kill if you so wanted to. Even though you had yet to learn such a skill, would never want to learn such a skill, it made sense why Chiron would think of you as the lead suspect.

  “Everyone back to their cabins for the night. Training is cancelled until tomorrow morning,” said Chiron. “Somebody help me move this body.”

[lacrosselifestyle]

An Insight into Endicott Lacrosse with Matt DiLorenzo

Hailing from the city of Monroe, New York, Matthew DiLorenzo now plays lacrosse at Endicott College, a small college located on the North Shore of Massachusetts, in a quaint town called Beverly. DiLorenzo, or as his teammates call him, DiLo, is a six foot tall, 170 pound, long stick defender, which means he plays defense right in front of the goal with a longer stick than an offensive player uses. While he might be tall and slim, DiLorenzo is not one to underestimate on the field, as he was the 2019 Don Bosco Prep MVP. DiLorenzo went to Don Bosco Prep in New Jersey for high school, where he played lacrosse all four years. DiLorenzo wears number 30, the same number he wore throughout his high school career. At Endicott, DiLorenzo is majoring in exercise science, and wants to go into athletic training when he is older, as helping people out is one of his many passions. DiLorenzo is also a part of the Exercise Science Club at Endicott, where he hones his skills in the field he is going into. Even though DiLorenzo has not gotten to play much yet because of the Covid-19 Pandemic, he is an integral part of the team and helps out in more ways than most. He is especially helpful in coaching up the younger players, as he is very knowledgeable about the sport of lacrosse. Outside of lacrosse, DiLorenzo is a great guy to hang out with and a friend to many. Now, here is a deeper insight into DiLorenzo.

How did you get started with lacrosse?

I played football growing up, and one of the kids on my team, who I was pretty good friends with, had a dad who coached lacrosse. So I talked to him about it with my dad and my dad said I should give it a try since we had never heard of lacrosse. I ended up trying it and I thought it was really fun. I liked it because it’s kind of like football but with a stick.

How was the commitment process for college?

It was definitely difficult because my high school coach didn’t really help at all so I pretty much had to do it by myself. My parents really helped a lot too, but it was mostly about filling out a lot of paperwork and making highlight tapes and a lot of tedious work that you have to do over and over again to get in front of a lot of coaches, but in the end it paid off. It was also a lot about finding out what coaches you do and don’t like and finding out where you fit in and what kind of players the coaches are looking for.

What other choices did you have for schools to go to besides Endicott?

I had a good amount of other options for school, but my top ones were: Springfield College in Massachusetts, Washington College in Maryland, The University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, and Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey. I also probably could have walked on at a lot of colleges if I decided to go somewhere else.

Why did you choose Endicott?

I chose Endicott for a lot of reasons, but the main reason was the internship program, I mean obviously lacrosse was a big factor too, but after hearing about the internship program it really set Endicott apart from all of the other schools I was looking at.

What are your goals now that you’re on a college team?

My biggest goal is to be an All-American, but that’s what pretty much everyone else’s goal is too. Some smaller goals would be to start for sure or just to get some playing time in general. Maybe even scoring a goal, like at least one would be cool for me, but that’s more of a hope really. Obviously as a team goal I want to win the CCC Championship, but besides that there’s not really anything else.

What is your favorite part about playing defense, as opposed to another position?

To begin with I don’t really get hit as much and I get to do the hitting which is a lot less pain for me and helps me get my anger out a little bit. I don’t have to run too much either anymore which is nice because I played some LSM in high school and I would always be winded after doing that so I don’t really want to do that again unless I have to. There is the occasion that I have to step in front of a shot and get hit but I don’t really mind that too much anymore.

How is playing your position different from playing LSM?

So now I play close defense which is like just the guys that play right in front of the goal. LSM stands for long stick midfield, which basically means I have the same stick which is longer than offensive players' sticks, but I run a lot more and have to play some offense sometimes.

How would you describe your playing style?

Definitely faced paced. I’m not really too much of a flashy or take away player, but I’m more of a team player in the sense that I don’t often get beat by the guy I’m guarding and I’ll do everything I can to get in his face and just play solid defense, and hopefully he either drops the ball and I’m in the position to make a play. I’m more of an IQ player too, like I know all the plays and where everyone should be standing and stuff like that.

What do you look for in a coach and what do you like about the Endicott Coaches?

I like a coach that is hard on you and tells you if you’re doing something wrong because they actually want you to be better, but doesn’t just yell at you to be a jerk or anything. As far as our coaches, they are really good guys and care about us and want us to be better men off of the lacrosse field as well as on the field. 

What about your playstyle helps you stand out against other players on the team?

I have a very high lacrosse IQ and I know what I am doing on the field, like I am never lost on defense and I always know where to go and what to do while playing. I also help the younger guys on the team out and help tell them where they need to be on the field in certain situations and just help them out in general. 

What about helping the younger guys do you enjoy?

I just like helping out the team anyway I can. I just figure later down the road they’ll be playing at some point and I would rather have someone playing with me that knows what they're doing because It helps out both me and the rest of the team. Also seeing them fix their mistakes in practice and get better is really rewarding to see. 

What other sports are you a fan of and what other athletes do you admire?

I’m a big football fan and it’s really the only other sport that I like to watch. As for athletes I admire, I love Eli Manning, not just because I’m a Giants fan, but because he’s a really great person too. He does a lot of charity work which I admire a lot and he also won the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award. Another thing I like about him is that he is really humble which is always good.

Do you try to emulate any of that with the way you play lacrosse?

Yeah I try to be humble for sure and not be too cocky or anything like that. I just try to play my game and not get distracted too which is something he does well, and I also try to just be a good person in general and play fairly.

What is one of the weaknesses in your game that you think you need to improve on?

Definitely opening my mouth more. I’m a pretty quiet individual so I always have to think about communicating with my teammates because that is a huge part of having success at this level.  I think I’m pretty strong skill wise but my communication is not as good just cause I’m not a super talkative person.

Do you have any other hobbies?

Yeah I like playing video games and watching T.V. when I’m not busy. I like cooking a lot too. That’s one of my favorite hobbies for sure because I like good food and I like eating, which I guess is another hobby.

What video games do you play?

I haven’t played in a while, but I like Call of Duty, the Star Wars video game called Fallen Order, and the P.G.A. Tour game is really fun too. I’m not a huge sports game guy though because they just piss me off too much. Mortal Combat is really good too though, I love that game.

Do you have any rituals or superstitions you do before a game?

Sometimes if I play well in a game I’ll wear the same pair of socks or underwear in the next game. Obviously I wash them just so everybody knows. Or if I play well with a certain eye black style I’ll just keep wearing that style for a while. Maybe I’ll try to eat a certain breakfast a lot if I play well after eating something specific. I’m a big pasta dinner the night before a game too cause you gotta be ready for the game and have enough energy, but that’s about it.

[kaikeidou-backstage-blog]

Kaikeidou Ibun: M.c.s. - Tale of Sea Searching, Conclusion Part 1

"W-Wait, me?! Become the Kaikeidou's shrine maiden?! "

 Our scene opens in the Kaikeidou, deep at the bottom of the ocean. One thing led to another, and I've managed to secure a complete victory over Kyouga-san, the eldest of the six Kai sisters living here. I'm currently standing in the Kaikeidou's VIP reception hall, surrounded by those very sisters, as both they and I listen to Kyouga-san explain what's been going on. Halfway through her explanation, I give an embarrassing yelp, as some very unexpected information is introduced.

"Precisely. Ah, we'll be just so fortunate to have someone as qualified as you, Miss Tsukushi. Our jobs will be so much more satisfying with a darling lass such as yer'self around..."

"H-Hang on a moment! I mean, never mind how... 'darling' I am. I haven't even given a reponse yet..."

 Kyouga-san goes on to explain her family's circumstances to me, while leisurely reclining on the alcove of the reception room we're in. To sum things up, their sea-dwelling "Great Mother" decided to build a new shrine to reside in, and created the Kai sextuplets to guard said shrine. And their role here, in turn, was to invite in a human who would be capable of overseeing the shrine building down here in the sea.

"And since you earned a victory against my sisters an' I, that makes it official-- you're the Kaikeidou's new shrine maiden, lassie! No complaints from us!"

 She ends her explanation with a jolly laugh. No, wait, hang on here, I literally only just got informed of all this... to say nothing of the fact that I already serve Lord Nakatsu-Watatsumi.

"I-I'm still the Awakihara clan's incarnate god, you know. Whatever your mother's circumstances may be, I can't just... abandon that, well... that role..."

 I couldn't think of anything else to say after that.

 ...Well, more accurately... I couldn't actually bring myself to say 'no' to their proposal.

"Y'seem rather out of sorts, dear. ...Is there something 'bout them Awakiharas that's been on your mind? "

 Kyouga-san speaks softly, but meaningfully, with her elbow propped on her knee. My back stiffens; she hit the bull's-eye when it comes to the anxiety I've been having. Whether she can tell what I'm thinking or not, though, she pats her knee and puts the subject aside.

"...Well, that god of yours shouldn't be any problem. Ain't that right, Lady Mikoto?"

 I turn around in reponse, and see a humanoid figure smoothly fade into view from thin air.

 A woman with black hair stands there, clad in beautiful azure robes. The design on her long skirt resembles a dragon, and the ornament in her hair looks just like a crown. Every part of her expression... her eyes gazing out from under her beautifully-parted hair, her gentle smile... seems colored with love and affection.

Beautiful and Clear Form of the Sea God Mikoto Yaobi

"...It's very nice to meet you, miss shrine maiden of Nakatsu-Watatsumi-no-Kami."

"P-Pleasure to make your acquaintance...!"

 Her voice is as gentle as a harp; there's no hint of anything that could put a listener on edge. For a moment, I find myself at a loss for words.

"My name is Mikoto Yaobi. I am a sea goddess, and the head of the Kaikeidou that we stand in right now."

"Wait, a sea goddess... so, does that mean you're related to Lord Nakatsu-Watatsumi...!?"

"Yes. I'm an offshoot of another Watatsumi god, who shares the same origin as yours. Perhaps you could call me... a descendant of theirs?"

 I'm still captivated by Lady Mikoto's voice, drifting along as light as silk, but I pay attention to her explanation. It makes perfect sense. A deep-sea palace, devoted to the worship of an ocean goddess... it's only natural that they set their sights on me, since I'm connected to the Watatsumi gods myself.

"The Watatsumi god watchin' over you is, in a manner of speaking, Lady Mikoto's ancestor. With someone like that serving as our shrine maiden, we'd basically be guaranteed success. That's what Lady Mikoto... and our eternal guest, Lady Otohime Kanpukugu, proposed to us."

 First a Dragon Palace, and now Otohime...? Heh. If we're comparing this to "Urashima Tarou, carried on a turtle's back," I suppose that makes me "Urashima Hanako, carrying a god on her back."

"I see. I understand your situation now... but, even with all that said, I'm still a member of the Awakihara clan. I am a vessel for Lord Nakatsu-Watatsumi-no-Kami, so... no matter what the circumstances are, I can't just... ignore the rest of my family..."

".....Even as your Awakihara relatives are threatening all that you hold dear...?"

"Wh...?"

 My breath stops in my chest for a moment. Mikoto-san's face, after saying that, looks terribly sad.

----...Our valued guest, Lady Otohime, told me this. Though the Awakiharas were overjoyed at the birth of their clan's one and only incarnate god, they also wanted to claim that power for themselves... and the clan has gradually become a den of creatures that one would hardly even think of as human. Leaving a divine being and a poor young girl all alone, in such a small and ugly corner of the world, would be... foolish, to say the least.

"...That's what she said."

 As she tells me this, I can feel the strength draining from my shoulders.

"...So. You already know everything, then."

"Well, no... Neither I nor Lady Otohime herself know all the details. According to her, she only did a cursory investigation of the few sources she had available. ...I know that this may pain you, Tsukushi-san, but... if you can manage it, could you please tell us what sort of things happened with your family?"

"......."

 It's a story that's gloomier than a rainstorm at midnight, honestly.

 Before I was old enough to really understand what was going on around me, I started practising various rituals as part of our family's tradition. I didn't think anything of it; I was just going through the motions, really. But as I started to get the hang of it, strange things would begin to happen. Water would form into droplets and hang in midair, and when I prayed to the sea, the waves would ripple and part just like in the story of Moses. That was the power that Lord Nakatsu-Watatsumi had granted to me as a descendant of the Awakihara clan.

 When my parents discovered this, they told the head of the main Awakihara line right away. Every member of our extended family came together all at once, from the main line to the various branch families, just to see me. Innocent as I was, I showed off all the miracles I could perform, and everybody rejoiced at the birth of their incarnate god. I remember my grandfather-- the head of the family at the time-- patting me on the head, with the widest, kindest smile I'd ever seen.

 That was the last time I can remember any of those people being nice to me.

 I never used my powers outside of the Awakihara clan, so I never had any trouble with my friends at school or anything, but... compared to some of the things I had to deal with, that might've been preferable. As far as dark situations go, at least that one would've been fairly bright.

 At times, there were things who tried to win me over with presents and flattery, back when I was still little.

 At times, there were things who would come up to my parents talking about adoption, or bartering, or so on, like they thought less of their own child than a piece of furniture.

 At times, there were things who would break into the house when I was home alone, grab me by the arm, and try to abduct me. ...Plain and simple.

 At times, there were things who would stalk me even to places where I was spending time with other kids my age, without caring one whit about harming those other kids in the process...

 My one stroke of good luck was that even with all these awful things going on, Lord Nakatsu-Watatsumi tried their hardest to drive it away from me. This one time, when I asked them about it, they said that protecting the human they dwell with is as important a part of a god's job as any other.

 The tide didn't stop, though. They weren't even people, just-- things, with human skin stretched over something too dark for little me to fully understand. They would attack me, my parents, everyone I spent time with... for years and years, right up until I was almost the age I am now...

"...Even my own parents started to become alienated from me, because of all this. At one point-- it was just the one, but they said-- they said that maybe we'd have all been better off if I hadn't been born. And I mean, they... they were right, really. If I'd been a normal girl back then, then I could've just had a regular life, as a regular descendant of the family."

 Eventually-- after we'd spent so many years surrounded by those things that we started to lose track of how long it'd been-- my grandfather paid us a visit. The same grandfather who'd smiled and patted me on the head, back on that day at the Awakiharas' head household. He told my parents that he'd found all the extended relatives who'd been stalking me, and given them severe punishments. And, perhaps more importantly, he'd managed to find us a place where we could safely escape from the family in secret. We agreed, and so that's where we're living now. That marked the end of it. ...And once everything was settled, my parents knelt down and apologized, from the bottom of their hearts, for what they'd said to me.

"And... that's it. The life I have now is all there is to me."

 As I finish my recollection, Lady Mikoto and all the Kai sisters fell silent.

"This place... this little town by the sea... it's the one place where I can live peacefully. It took us so long, but I've finally found it. It's the safe haven that my grandfather prepared for us, and that Lord Watatsumi is working hard to protect. So... I want to stay there. That's... my choice....."

 Even as I'm speaking now, I can tell that my voice is trembling.

 Even as I'm talking, I can tell that my vision is getting blurry.

"Tsukushi-san....."

 I can feel something awful welling up in me at the sound of Mikoto-san's soft voice.

 I know. I... I know.

 If I want to live a decent life up on the surface, as a regular human, then even that town isn't guaranteed to be safe forever. Once there's a new head in charge of the Awakihara family, they'll probably contact me eventually. I might be pulled back into that darkness again. Or worse, those things might discover this town I secretly moved to, and I'll have to confront them again. I've had enough of that terrifying life... I just...

 I've had enough.

 I don't... want to go back.

".....on't want to."

".....I don't want to. Shouldn't that be obvious?"

".....I don't want to go back there. I just want... to keep living peacefully, with Mom, and Dad, and Lord Watatsumi, who saved me so many times. That's... that's all."