#that shit isnt love. its fucking obligation

[vagueiish]

...i just want someone to love me for me. to look at me and see all my nonsense and willingly be like 'huh. that's my human, even with the bullshit'. platonically or romantically or whatever, man, i just...

i want to be loved by choice. not out of obligation

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

[aliaology]

hi!! could i request a social media au where hughes!sister is a type of gracie abrams type singer and then she releases ‘dear john’ and i hate to say it but the non taylor’s version JUST for the fact that taylor’s voice is younger👍

but yeah if you can please do that it would be great but if you can’t that’s okay🫶🏻🫶🏻

btw your new quinn fic ATE😁😁

ofc babe!! and ty 🤭🤭🤭

this is not apart of my older sister!hughes au! this is all younger sister 🤍

do stream taylors version, but for this we are using the old one just for her young voice!!

hughes.yn

liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras and 387,736 others

hughes.yn hi everyone!! over the past few months, ive been radio silent to everyone, including my own family, and all for personal reasons that i felt i had to go through on my own. here right now, is the first time anyone has heard from me for awhile now. im here to announce that ive made another song! and its currently out now on all streaming platforms!

the song is called ‘dear john’ and i honestly put all of my raw emotions into it. i went through a lot these past months and singing, producing and overall making this song has helped me immensely.

i love you all. especially my brothers and my parents, all to the moon and back.

p.s im sorry this song isnt like my other ones. i took the even sadder root and dug to my core for this one.

comments

user OH MY GOD??

user her voice is HEAVENLY.

user LITERALLY

trevorzegras LIL HUGHES OH MY GOD.

trevorzegras im actually in shock cut it out

trevorzegras look at lil hughes go 🥹🥹

user no bc this song so perfectly shows how denial feels. how she immediately felt like whoever the boy was, was her soulmate, but ultimately wasn’t but she kept denying it. how shes finally accepting everything after realizing it wasn’t real.

user bro made it even MORE sad.

jackhughes come home please

jackhughes and tell me who tf did this shit

jackhughes i’ll literally bust his fucking face in ❤️

user protective jack 🔛🔝

user THIS IS SO SAD NOOOOOOO

user this is so lyrically genius for a nineteen year old, im actually in shock

gracieabrams gorgeous girl this is so good 🤍

user YOU ARE AN EXPERT AT SORRY AND KEEPING LINES BLURRY

lhughes_06 bub come home and tell us who did this

_quinnhughes ❤️❤️ proud of you kid

hughes.yn

liked by markestapa, edwards.73 and 276,287 others

hughes.yn you burnt me out, but he lit my flame right back up 🤍

comments

user WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY

user it should be me… holding your hand 😞

user dramatic ass

jackhughes happy ur happy sissy 🤍

user why does she not reply to comments?

user is she obligated to or sumn? hop off her dick

lhughes_06 still so upset abt this

edwards.73 you lied and you know it

lhughes_06 i know 😞

markestapa ❤️

user MARk?

user shes happy… so im happy… 🥹😭

_quinnhughes great, now come to vancouver!

user he paints her skies blue and keeps them clear 🥹🥹

liked by author, markestapa and 726 others

elblue6 so proud of you sweet girl 🤍

user i love the entire hughes family.

user SHES MINE NOOOOOO

okay so idk how i feel abt it but i hope u like pookie

tags (perm!) @hockeyboysarehot (text or wtvr if u wanna be added babes!)

[helloiamunwell]

okay can everyone stop being so goddamn fucking negative for five minutes please

just because the show didn't end in the way you wrote in your fanfics or imagined with your hc's does not make it bad!

just because it isnt how you would have ended it does not make it bad!

this show means a lot to so many people and the tags are just flooded with people shitting on it completely

its fine if you didn't like it, but ive seen some really nasty posts, insulting the writers, insulting the cast, insulting the production crew, and insulting the fans who have enjoyed the episode

the writers of this show are under no obligation to write it in a way that this subsection of fans who are determined to find issues and ruin everyone elses enjoyment, want it to be written

i just really don't understand this mentality of choosing to hate something just because it wasn't how you imagined it. and it is a choice. a lot of people are expecting the writers and the show in general to cover every single social issue, to include every single type of queer relationship, to have all the characters constantly be engaging with therapy speak and sounding nothing like real human beings

these are pirates. pirates who murder and maim and did not grow up in the 21st century and should not be held to the standard of modern people. the show is based around ed and stede, david jenkins has said it plenty of times. the writers do not owe you anything else, and one of the reasons this show is so bloody good in the first place is that the characters feel real, they make real mistakes, they don't always say the right thing- because who in real life actually does???

im just so shocked that people are so willing to turn their backs on something that has brought so much enjoyment, something that is such an important show to queer people. this show has so much love and representation, and for some reason that just isn't enough for people.

im begging people to gain some perspective. its a television show. its not a therapy session, its not the answer to all of society's problems and it's completely unreasonable to expect it to be

you're perfectly welcome to not like it, just stop insulting real people and the real work and time and effort that went into making it

[turnstechgodhead]

ok to the anon thats talkin w me about mental eelness and bro and the "knight of time" line:

id post your entire ask but its Very Long and im struggling to answer all of it in a way that isnt fucking with my head and anxiety so im going to answer with only the character analysis stuff HERE on this post my apologies

for the record i dont even remotely know how to begin tagging this mess down here and i really think itd be better suited for my nsfw blog but yall aint asking about this on that blog which is fair take care of yourselves

JSYK it's stuff about brocal/intrusive thoughts about inc st and c s a SO kids please avert your eyes for my comfort thank YOU

i dont personally have ocd afaik but as someone who Has intrusive thoughts (actual horrifying ones that dirk, gabe and i have to beat back with a stick, not the ones kids think are intrusive thoughts today)

i definitely think that's how bro approaches raising dave; overcompensating for the accusations from his mind and cal[iborn] leading to total icing him out

okay same anon who was asking abt the “i was raising the knight of time” line. you saying “caliborn made [bro] believe that platonic affection is in fact not platonic at all and is instead sexual[the implications when bro is constantly carrying around cal with his arms around his neck btw. insane.]” is fascinating. is this based off the fact that caliborn thinks even hugging or a kiss on the cheek is “filthy?” it makes me think about ocd/bipolar disorder/misc mental illnesses and intrusive thoughts. i have bipolar and im a huge softie for kids but my intrusive thoughts sometimes try to convince me that my affection is somehow sinister.

YES very much

i need to describe to you my thoughts on brocal really quick bc i think that'll help put it in perspective and idk how else to talk about it;

heres the thing

cal is both bro's boyfriend and his fucking family okay

imagine you're a kid and you have this puppet friend that speaks to you using silly words and tells you that you should eat glass maybe :) or cut your fingers off or tear off your own head and hes the only thing thats taking care of you as a person even if hes mean

he tells you that people touching is inappropriate and vulgar and he cant believe theyre doing that in public (but its okay if we hug and cuddle you know?)

but also as you grow up this puppet starts calling you weird shit like stud or hunky or what the hell ever and maybe. youre going to kiss him

this puppet is the only thing you care about because hes the only thing that cares about you youve been with him for years and years and he talks to you and hes all that matters and now youre obsessed with him and you dont know when that happened but you have an obsessive personality anyway

youll do anything for him. (let me kill for you)

hes the only person you love because you dont love roxy this way (consuming, overwhelming, obligating to do what he wants, because he's all you have)

and well shit

if cals telling you that youre a freak for wanting to cuddle on the baby like you did that once (call it the knight it helps keep your distance) then i guess you're a fucking freak because its not even your right to treat it as family anyway; it's bigger than you. it's more than you will ever be and you need to make sure it doesn't fucking die and apparently that involves at least a little bit of affection cal please understand(what a disgusting species)

[terraliensvent]

Not a vent’ asking a question. Out of genuine curiosity do you actually like Terraliens as a species? A majority of CS vent blogs seemingly want the species to die or fail as an end result.

Isn’t the whole point of vent blogs to give people a space to actively point out problems to make the community better as a whole. Reblog to make it die faster or run out of the community feels conflicting to what the blog is actually supposed to achieve. Do you want it to get better? It seems like you do. Or are you actually hoping it gets worse to increase engagement.

So general question would be do you hate Terraliens? What’s the end goal for you? 🤔

this is a loaded question for me at the moment haha

personally, ive been in terras since april 2023, so basically since the start. ive seen every controversy pretty much first hand, was an avid reader of the terra blogs previous to mine, and terras was the first species i put my whole heart in and tried to interact with the community in. initially i really wanted the species to get better, when they had the suggestion threads i was an avid poster

then over and over again mods just kept failing in the simplest of ways. this blog was made february of 2024, a few months after the first psa and ownership change. i still thought terras could be good but there were just too many blockers, esp from coy and civ after learning some behind the scenes info from the psa

then the Reckoning came and i hoped it really would go down, if only that meant making the species totally open

when tycho became owner i really was hopeful considering the facts that previous mods completely disavowed vent blogs like mine, but shortly before he became owner tycho reached out to ask my thoughts on stuff around the species (you can see that in my post about The Reckoning), when the species fell in his lap i honestly thought there was going to be big change. for a while there was, like new assets in the item channels, feedback forms, etc. but then there were also the nagging issues that never went away from before, like hiring friends for staff, weird unspoken rules, and a horrible approval process

for the past few days ive been thinking, man this really doesnt seem like its worth it. the same issues are starting to pop up again, and the mods currently just twist and turn making up their justifications for moving the goalpost. i dont like a lot of the new designs, dont really have any myos i want to make, and im not pulled in by the new events.

my end goal initially when making this blog was that i wanted terras to get better and make the easy changes everyone wanted, but now i think the better course of action would be for it to die. make it an open species and just let people run with it, because over the 2 and a half years of this species there has never once been such an attitude of unity and happiness among terra community than on that one night in april where the species WAS open.

honestly? im days away from voiding all my terras and fucking all the way off (ill still stay in the server though, i couldnt imagine anyone else running this blog and i think its become a necessary place for everyone. i imagine there would be at least some outcry if i were to shut it down, lol). once i finish my current obligations, im trading all my shit. its exhausting to have been doing this back and forth for improvement for over 2 years now, and its just so much more effort than its worth when i could be putting my whole heart into other up-and-coming projects. it hurts when a thing you really loved and found happiness in just has too many glaring issues to ignore

i think its a bad look when most of your oldest members who have been there since near day 1 decide this shit isnt worth it anymore and want to be done with it. its a bad look when someone who cared so much to make full essays about this species on an entire blog dedicated to it decides that its just not worth trying to "fix" anymore.

and i kind of hope a lot of other members come to that same conclusion and cause it to die.

[seth-burroughs]

mdarc chapter 1 rewatch part 4 let's goooooo gamersss

halara is here. "i have no obligation to help others, but i work sincerely according to the payment i receive" "to believe in another is the shallowest concept one can uphold" yes halara as you should. striking them with the npd hammer

ok so i stopped doing this for like a week or two because lammergeiers swarmed my apartment and started tearing out my bones and eating them in front of me. really sad story. anyway i heard seth literally appears just next scene aint that something huh

watching the sidequests needless to say yomi brain is very uncomfortable rn

seh

why the fuck did he bring flowers. somebody make a 40 paragraph essay on why he showed up with a fucking bouquette at his house

i missed the jp pronunciation of their names. sezu barozu. yomi herusumairu. suwaro electro. halara nightomero

everybody else in the game either has some sort of odd unusual name combos and then theres seth burroughs of the british isles

awkward and bitter exes forced to look at each other for the first time since the divorce in which yakou took the kids and then lost them at castorama shortly after

i might have been joking but why the fuck do they talk like exes. hey what the fuck is this scene

return of the megaphone. i forgot he has a megaphone because my memory is comparable to the warrior cats writing team

that was the loudest crunchiest fucking sigh i ever heard i am wheezing. everybody stop whatever youre doing go search for the jp dub mdarc playthrough of this scene you need to listen to this shit

i love seth's shit eating grin. i wish for nothing more than to smash his skull against the wall repeatedly in a romantic sense

"this flower... its beautiful, isnt it?" there is something deeply wrong with you. find jesus

i cannot with this fucking exchange. i cannot. i cannot. this is fucked. seth is a fucked up character. i am so fucking scared. wiki help me

this laugh is so fucked up too. also through this entire conversation i feel like a child that is forced to witness their parents fighting in the living room

bye seth that was an ethereal experience and i will now go to sleep aware that i am from this moment on apparently sexually attracted to all Makoto, Fake Zilch, Martina and Seth now and I got no idea on what to do about it to be honest i shall uhh make up a strategy in my bed gettinh all cozy and shit or something

My biggest accomplishment of today was to stand up for a few minutes to get zoomies then resume being too tired to function

[tianhai03]

Can you stop being such a cunt, tranny. "I have a job and barely any free time anymore. who are you to tell me what to do. go learn some manners before you say anything under my art again" You sell prints, when you didn't pay the artist for the characters or their time, and want to talk, bitch. maybe stop selling other people's characters, and acting like a beggar, constantly giving out your inprnt store. Tell you what, since you value your time so much I value Capcom's time, and am reporting your inprnt account. Shut the fuck up, you stupid, degenerate loser. Your art sucks.

wow, it's my first time being called a slur! isnt that a big accomplishment. thanks for wasting your time coming all the way to here from twitter just to hide behind anon and say vile shit to me. why didnt you just comment on my tweet? you couldve saved a couple of minutes doing that. or is someone too scared to say shit to me directly to my face?

as for the inprnt thing, i never begged anyone to buy my stuff. i literally started selling my prints because people have been asking it for years, and ive stated MULTIPLE TIMES that no one should feel obligated to buy anything from me because its not my main income and its just a side extra thing i do. PEOPLE WANTED PRINTS OF MY ART, THEY ASKED FOR IT FOR LITERAL YEARS, AND IM JUST GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT. if youve ever seen me beg people to buy my art please let me know because i sure as fuck dont remember doing it. the only reason why i post my inprnt stuff so often is because the site has sitewide sales often, and if i have a way to let people pay less for my art if they want to im going to give them exactly that.

i know selling stuff with other people's IPs isnt exactly legal, its a big grey area that has no 100% rights or wrongs. but im not actively harming anyone just because i made art of a character and sold it online. the big companies arent losing any money because of me, you can always take the money youre paying for my prints and just buy official merch. i dont care. im going to repeat myself again and tell you that im only selling prints FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT IT AND CAN AFFORD IT. IF YOU DONT WANT IT THEN ITS NOT FOR YOU.

if you think selling fanart is so wrong, think back to all the times youve seen a voice actor for a show or a video game commissioning artists to draw the characters they voice. according to your logic, even though theyve spend their own time and effort on a crucial part of the character, theyre still not allowed to commission stuff of that character because they dont own the rights to them. does that mean youre going to report them too? are you gonna go to capcom and tell them "HEY MR. NICK COMMISSIONED SOMEONE TO DRAW A BUNCH OF RESIDENT EVIL CHARACTERS FOR HIS STREAMS AND HE DIDNT PAY BACK THE ENTIRE RE TEAM FOR THEIR TIME AND EFFORT MAKING THE GAME. THE ONLY THING HE DID IS VOICE LEON YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP HIM"? of course not, you'll look like a fucking idiot. i might not own the characters either, but ive spent my own time and the drawing skills ive developed over the past decade to draw those prints. i own the rights to my drawings and i should be allowed to do anything i want with them as long as im not harming anyone.

clearly you cant stand me or anything i do but youre still following me for some reason. please for the love of god block me right now, leave me alone and live your own life. you'll be happier that way. and also stop being transphobic its literally 2023.

[l4byr1nthz1]

literally begging everyone to reblog art and writing. please.

i can not fucking stand the fact that my art averages like. 20 reblogs max meanwhile a low effort shitpost i pull outta my ass ends up getting 100.

it fucking hurts. its a slap in the face when the dashboard tells you that your drawing isnt worth dick. and yeah ok no ones obligated to reblog my shit but if you're just dropping a like and bouncing? like yeah occasionally its gonna be something you like but dont want on your blog, but it should Not be a 1:3 ratio of reblogs to likes.

like people are like 'make art for yourself dont place value in what other people think of your art' i love my art!! i just dont fucking share it on tumblr anymore bc no one else seems to fucking care about art on here!!! i want to share my art with my community. but it chokes and dies on the sparse amount of reblogs drowned out by likes.

i want to share my art. thats all.

[opal-owl-flight]

alright i know it a bit off topic to what you are doing right now. but is angst really necessary for a character. all it does it make me feel so horrible for them. just saying

This is tumblr, the rule for this is to block me/the angst arc tags and move on. If you are who I think you are, Im going to take the step myself for both our sakes.

This is my story. Youre not obligated to read it, youre not obligated to keep up. If the content upsets you, you dont force the writer to change the story they want to write. You leave for the sake of your emotional state. I wont take offense to that as we all have our tolerance for upsetting topics/stories. (God knows I have my own.)

As for angst being necessary?

Have you seen the shit these characters go through in canon?

You can make the argument for everything being cartoon violence but DO REMEMBER that Hal Labs themself has made final bosses scream in pain while youre in the process of giving them a soul-smashing beatdown. And in the case of True Arena for Mags -- you can hear him begging for help in the bg as you fight. (Epilogue also has a lot of angst. Fucks sake one of Mags' "taunt" animations has him crying.)

Im not exactly adding angst where there isnt. It is simply an extension of canon.

Or do you speak of my more painful arcs, like False Paradise or Back to Zero?

Again, they are simply extensions (in my interp) of whats given in canon. I take the canon stuff seriously in my writing, thats just how I do. Those events have lasting effects on the characters. You cant say someone gets possessed and theyre all hunky dory the next time you see em. Wasnt Dedede implied -- no. Straight up SAID by Hal --- to have had trauma from Fecto Forgo? So for my way of writing things, Whos to say the others didnt as well?

In terms of the relationships for those two arcs. (+Nova Incident too what the hell.) Magolor wasnt the best person. He still isnt, sometimes. Healing from what hes done while he was lashing out, for all parties involved, is not going to be smooth sailing. Sometimes things start to look up but and then go nasty in the middle. Thats just the way things are.

BtZ's basis is touching on how puppy love/crushes tend to die the longer you know a person. You find things you dont like about the fellow you admired. And that breaks them apart. Its very fortunate in rhe end of this arc though that both parties see their mistakes/flaws and learn to accept and grow with them, and thats why they got back together.

Angst makes good payoff.

And about excessive angst? Thats subjective. And I always resolve them in the end. (Hell, even Legacy has a good ending now...mostly bc I nuked it after the rewrites). Im not really good with ending things badly, so my stuff always wraps up on a happy note. (I should probably post more of the fluff stuff tbh, but its impact is heavily reduced without the angstier context.)

Tldr, in my interp/writing style, angst is indeed necessary for the character. One, a lot of it is already canon anyway. Two, this is my way of exploring/extending the character and their themes (Mags leans heavy on trust and forgiveness). Three, all of this makes for more satisfying closure/payoff.

[steddieyes]

Chapter three: And Who Said Love Was Dead? I Sure Didn't.

(Part 2)

Ao3 @Arloooh

Gasping and clutching where her own heart once was, Bryce drops to her knees, putting an arm out to keep herself up. What the fuck was Bobby doing here, he's supposed to be... 

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!" Bobby all but screetches, in a tone bryce had never heard before... Is he.. crying-? Whatever- I can worry about that later, my fucking hearts exploding here. 

There's maybe twenty people around her, maybe a hundred, hell if she knows. 

Gasping and coughing, she keeps her head hung low as arms grapple at her sides and arms. She's wheezing by the time Bobby gets to her, not knowing how he'd suddenly appeared right infront of her when being a football pitch away just moment before. Or maybe it has been long, she doesn't know, her fucking heart is failing. 

Well wasn't this a way to go out, I finally made it to graduation only for this stupid heart to fail after seeing him again. Who said love was dead? 

-

"I SAID, /OFF!/" Bobby yells, yanking prying arms and hands off of Bryce as if she was his to hold. He kneels down as fast as he can, not knowing what the fucks going on but he needs to fix it, and quick. Internally cursing "what the fuck whatthefuckwhatthefuck-" on repeat with staggered breaths, Bobby grabs on to Bryce's shoulder to help her up and off of her knees only for her to groan in pain now lying on her side. When did her face get so pale? When- when the fuck did her eyebags get so dark? Is she a fucking vampi-

"Bobby.." she says clawing a hand across the floor. He looks to her with baited breath, wait this isn't how it's supposed to happen, not like this- THIS ISNT HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO END- "one of you dickbags help me up, and don't fuck up this hair-" she says with that 1960's tone, the sound of authority in her voice that the men around can't help but oblige, but not without Bobby clawing at them to get back while yelling about how "this isn't how it's supposed to end, I'm not- IT ISN'T FAIR!"

And, oh- they're EMT'S. They've been here the whole time trying to pry him off of Bryce. 

"Sir, you need to- stop- sir, you need to calm down-" 

"YOU CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY FROM HER! SHES NOT- I'VE WAITED SO LONG-" He yells as arms surround his and lock under his armpits, trying to keep him still so he can be dragged away kicking and screaming with marks all over his arms from the EMT'S efforts. He can see at least a good ten people surrounding Bryce as she groans for "you to get off me, prick! Fix this, asshole!" But that doesn't ease Bobby, if not make him want to get back over to her even more. 

But he's being dragged away for his wounds. 

"No. You need to calm down and /sit/" the stern, albeit soft, voice of the EMT says, pushing him down onto a bench nearby with the slow fall of two other paramedics lowering him down to sit. Bobby looks to him with furrowed brows and a scowl "..YOU CANT JUST-" His efforts for fighting back are quickly shut down as another puts a hand over his mouth, proffesional, right? Effectively shutting him up. He gives an stern look to the EMT infront of him and slowly licks his hand to give him his freedom back, a devilish smile on his face for just a split second as the man wipes his hand away. But Bobby's soon back to the same attitude.

"Tell me what the fuck is happening with Bryce or I swear to shit I WILL GIVE YOU A FUCKING SEX CHANGE!" he yells, teeth bare and sharp as he tries his best to move and kick out of the paremedics grasp, but before one could get a word in, he frees himself out of their joint grasp after biting ones arm enough to draw blood. What? He was too close. 

Bobby allbeit bolts to Bryces side where she's being loaded onto a stretcher into the back of an ambulance. It wasn't hard to find her when anyone within a 10 mile radius can hear her yelling. The only people by her side are paremedics, not a parent to be found. 

Before he can reach for her, there's multiple men tackling him to the ground before he can get away.

*

Location: 'whatever the fucks' local hospital. 

Bryce is rushed into the loading dock and wheeled through the corridors and doorways, Bobby soon following behind as he sticks to the back of a paramedic, hoping to get in and through to Bryce. He doesn't know what the fucks going on and he can't lose her, not again. He's waitied almost ten years and isn't going to have Bryce ripped away from him again.

But he's soon ushered into a waiting room.. cell? He falls to the hard, cold floor and is met with shutting doors. Scrambeling to get to his feet, he's already yelling and screaming, pulling at the bars of this cage. 

"Calm your ass down. Lady got you down, kid?" A stern voice calls. And glaring to the side he spots an, officer? Something of the sort. Broad and tall, definitely the build of authority. 

Before yelling back, Bobby scowls with an angry expression, one knowing that he won't win this fight. With gritted teeth he gets out "No lady's got me down, and I'm not a fucking kid, shitbag. Why am I here." There's an uneasy rage to his voice that no doubtlessly registers to the officer. 

"Well then what's got you down, son? Mama got hurt?" The man asks with a gruff voice, looking way too interested in what Bobby's got to say that it actually irritates his soul. You're not /supposed/ to care about me. No one does. 

"No.. my fucking GIRLFREINDS HAD SOME SORT OF FUCKING HEARTATTACK-SEISURE SHIT AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON, SO STOP /CARING/ ABOUT ME AND LET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING CELL!" He screams as his balls fist up while clutching the bars, voice going higher in the way it always has when he screams. Not noticing what he'd said in the heat of the moment, but before he knows it he's being berugantly let out of his cell by a scared looking man. 

- 

Squinting her bleary eyes, Bryce opens her eyes to a bright light and the smell of sanitation. Y'know, I didn’t think hell would be this nice. And then there's a flashing light. 

"-ust? Ms. Tankthrust? Ma'am, we know you're awake." A nurse instructs with the click of a flashlight. Okay, so not hell, but close. 

"What 'd fuck..." she slurs, her signature tone lost to the anesthetic. 

"Bryce, you've had surgery. We had to get a second party to approve your form with your mother denying to pay a fee. Do you know of a Bobby Worst? ..ma'am?" 

Bryce stares up to the nurse with a blank expression, save for her furrowed brow. Since when did Bobby change his name to wors-? "Wuh, I-... I'm sorry, you said a Bobby Worst?" she asks, voice in awe, but now more awake and aware. Her now signature tone present. "Yes. He's here to see you actually if-" 

"Bryce.."

[goremet-chef]

one thing that always confuses me when it comes to gender identity and like. letting my family know that 'hey, i am trans' roight is

i guess i just dont get it? how you can completely value someone on the basis of their gender identity. cuz like. im not my gender identity. im dom. past whether im a guy or a girl, im me. im a person and i like things, i dislike things, etc

i just dont get the whole "ohh woe is me, my daughter is dead now" thing that parents go thru, because like.. isnt there more about me that you liked? maybe in my case, no, since i tend to be pretty closed off from my family, but like..

i have friends and i love my friends. more than anything, i love my friends. i love THEM. as people. i dont care what pronouns they go by, what they identify as. i see them as they are, which is my friends. thats why like.. for me its so fucking EASY to go with different pronouns and name and all that, my older brother came out as trans to me a couple years after i was out and despite knowing him all my life as a different name with different pronouns, i have to very intentionally make sure not to call him by he and by his name in front of my mom cuz hes not out to her yet, ITS A STRUGGLE to revert back to a name that he isnt anymore, you feel me?

it just seems so shallow to me, like.. idk MAYBE it has something to do with my funny autism brain cuz i really just dont get most sort of society role type shit but how does your love for someone stop when they decide to go by a different name? i think thats crazy cuz thats the VERYLIKE. SURFACE LEVEL SHIT and still its somehow too hard for them

ive tried to explain to my mom like. i find it very easy because im able to see the people i love past their gender and their physical appearance and WHATEVER. i see them as them, as their heart their mind their soul. if someone comes out to me and tells me oh i dont feel like a boy right, the first reaction i have is not "oh so you want me to call you a girl? and you want she pronouns?" which seems to be a very common parent response im noticing. my first thought is "okay, my friend is opening up to me about a change in their identity, so my job as a friend is to change how i see them" because its true! its so important in my opinion past like. okay fine ill call you what you wanna be called, like no!!!

i dont want you to call me a boy just cuz you think its what i want, i want you to respect me as a person enough to see that im presenting a change to you, and take it upon yourself to accept that change. i dont wanna be called dom out of obligation. i want them to love me so much that they would have no problem switching what they see me as. because im not just a girl, or a boy. im dominic, im me. im my own person past what you see on the outside. thats the cool part about friends and family is that you get to let them see whats inside and theyre supposed to love you for you

maybe thats not what i get with a lot of my family, but i definitely get it from my friends and im so grateful for that

[ascendandt]

i know everyone is talking about utena right now but for fucking real. it is obvious that tge person who made that post watched less than half the show... i dont blame them or anything its heavy material and i dont think youre like legally obligated to like or be comfortable with ANYTHING. but like almost every point made is refuted explicitly by the text itself by the end. under a readmore cuz it got long oops

like, first off. the only person sexually abusing anthy in any way is akio. everyone else in the show wants to "win her" in duels because with that comes the power to change the world. in fact anthy in the duelists eyes is reduced to a symbol (inb4 this is criticized by the text.).

second. the character design argument is all a bit silly. utena is the main character of course her outfit stands out. it is still also masculine compared to what she is Supposed to be wearing so the point of it still comes across.

third, in regards to the way the underage girls are treated. i wont say it isnt uncomfortable but it serves a purpose. it isnt in any way meant to be titillating, its in service to the larger theme of patriarchy and how it objectifies and sexualizes young girls. again not saying you have to endure it if it turns you away but personally, saying that because uncomfortable dareisay fucked up content exists, it is a signal of shit writing is reductive.

fourth, calling utenanthy s-class is insane to me bcause utena and anthy literally make out in the film. and by the end of the show itself it is abundantly clear that they are mutually and romantically interested in each other. again this is a product of the poster only watching to episode 14.

fifth. juri is not uniquely tormented by her lesbianism. her and shioris problems, like everyone elses on the show, come from the fact that she is a fucked up person, and also from the fact that she fell in love with a homophobic girl and refuses to acknowledge it to herself.

sixth, and very importantly, they claim that the statement "all girls are like the rose bride" fails becsuse anthy is the only girl who is a rose bride. the third arc of the show is literally about the girls of the show taking on the explicit role of rose bride, and how this hurts them. they wear anthys outfit even, its not exactly subtle. even utena.

seventh. the claim that utena is "supposed" to save anthy on a textual level. this is astonishingly wrong like holy shit. spoilers i suppose but in the last 2 episodes utena tries several times and fails at saving anthy from her situation, and is literally removed from reality for it. the only person who can save anthy is herself, by also leaving the reality constructed by akio. the thesis of the show is that being a prince is bad to oneself and others. EXPLICITLY!!! its examined in fairly high detail actually.

i wont say that there isnt racism in the show i am not stupid. but acting like the show is utterly morally reprehensible because you only watched the setup of misogyny and homophobia in the homophobia and misogyny are bad show is just, i dont know. silly.

[physicsfox7]

Okay.

I dont really want to post depressing shit anymore. Every interaction from it feels forced, and its just a strain for me.

But I need to vent. I need to pretend that people read the words and care. I need to pretend that this is a safe place to word vomit without judgement. If I dont, I'm going to have to make an anonymous alt.

So if thats not your thing, just go. I'm not saying it to be hurtful, I'm saying it to spare you the frustration. I'm hard for me to deal with, frankly I dont understand why anyone who has a choice chooses to deal with me.

Kenna calls it white knight syndrome. Sometimes it feels like I'm playing the martyr. I want to help people, I want them to be happy. Even at my own expense. Maybe if I make enough people happy, I can be happy. I will give my everything to my friends, and I will do it happily. And I will never take from you. Be it your time or your care. Because I am fragile. And I have been rejected too many times.

I have had people tell me I am too whiney, too needy, too much. People I had considered a friend for years. I have had people invite me along to events, again thinking they were my friend, only to doscover after the fact that I was invited because they felt obligated.

I was the kid no one wanted at their birthday party. I was the teenager surrounded by people at school, but my entire personality was surface and I would go home and be alone for hours and days. I was the young adult who never develops friendships because I had been so cold for so long, it was easier for me to pretend I didnt care about other peoples lives. I am the mid 30s stunted adult who is so desperate for friendship, companionship, an actual best friend who will come to me and I can go to them, that I overcompensate and put more stock into friendships than I should.

I have this. To a degree. Its hard at this stage of our lives, given we have significant others, to rely on someone who isnt your partner. It doesnt help that I spent so many years hungry for friendship outside of romance (pretty sure I'm at least a little aro) that I'm trying to speed run it. I know these things take time.

This is my rant, deal with the inconsistencies.

I didnt have a final summary point. I didnt have a plan for where this is going. I am simply writing what my heart says.

I love my friends, they mean more to me than anything. I would do anything for them, and I dont think they believe me. Fuck around and find out. I will continue to sacrifice everything about myself to support you, to boost you, to make your life better. But once in a while, push a little harder to remind me you care about me. Because lately, I feel like I'm losing everyone who is most important to me. I dont think I can handle that again.

[tears-of-boredom]

how do you deal when someones not on a base level a bad person, but they're so god damn judgemental, while acting like its just a silly quirky thing. I just. im so frustrated listening to my mom complain about her work and school stuff, because so often it stops being just general "work tiring, school annoying", and starts being "our schooling group today had some, lets say, more special students", "one of the students had never used a laptop before, can you believe it!" and just, every complaint seems to be directed at a singular person.

and god, sometimes when im in the backseat of our car and my eldest sibling and mom are at the front, it is just so fucking obvious how they are feeding into each other judgey-ness. one will point out a random pedestrian for like, wearing a fedora, and then they both just kind of laugh about it like fucking high schoolers. and I don't want to say anything, because anytime i do, it has had no effect at all, and plus,, if thats what it takes for my sibling to have an alright relationship with a parent figure, i cant bring myself to make it more difficult. but like, 1. i feel really shitty having to listen to their judgemental comments, and 2. i feel like im kind of obligated to keeo trying to get through to them, cuz im probably one of the people that both of them might listen to,,, but even that would probs be just because they feel guilty for making specifically me feel bad,,, cuz they probably both see me as the sensitive baby of the family.

also my mom uses english too much. shes like the typical usa suburban white mom, with all the "live laugh love" shit. and its all in english. and for some reason it really fucking annoys me. because she literally herself has said that she isnt the best at the language. so why are you using it for things like, the random bag next to the laundry machine that has "rags" written on it. and she just has a weird relationship with english anyways, always flaunting to people that "in our house english is kind of like a second language", when that is just not true. none of us use english in speech like, ever. its only used to either mockingly do a yank accent, or when the finnish language literally doesnt have an equivalent word for something. but it is in no way used frequently enough to be considered a second language of the house. for me and my brother individually? maybe. but for both of us the usage is very much limited to online spaces and the media we consume.

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Umineko, again

episode 1, part 7

i am not entering the Danger Zone where i want to see fanart of natsuhi but i cannot look her up bc i need my mind to be absolutely unblemished. if i saw a spoiler now, that would ruin everything. i actually care about this enough to actively avoid and fear spoilers. thats how serious it is getting. usually i really dont care.

so. back to the story.

eva suggests the servants did this together and its obvious she also fears what they could do, should they find out she knows. this makes sense superficially. perhaps it was even done under the directions of kinzo or natsuhi. man eva really fucking hates her. except why would the servants do this and why would shannon be a victim, too? and why would they draw that weird summoning circle on the sheds door? perhaps the closest theory that makes sense is that kinzo was behind it all and possibly got help from genji but even so... getting rid of his children and doing weird black magic shit might make sense but again, why shannon?

if this was an ace attorney game, we would now collect evidence. but it isnt and we cant because its dangerous. that would be too easy and umineko really loves to take its time before it presents you with conclusions.

never heard of her

concerningly, maria has entered her joker arc now. i cannot say whether this is her or beatrice using her as a vessel, much like i think she did during the reading of the letter. i just highly suspect shes doing that. ehhhh, not sure this needed three different cg's that get creepier each time. you're overdoing it man. its creepier if theres just a Little off about maria's face. this is my personal subjective criticism.

in general, i personally dislike the creepy child portrayal they started doing with maria. mostly bc i think its corny and instead of making things More Scary and creating tension, its just ruining the built up atmosphere. for me.

later on there is discussion whether her behaviour can be written off as Purely roleplay but i am not quite buying this. there has got to be more to it. then again if there is One thing that can change a childs speech pattern like this and influence their entire body language and behaviour.... it gotta be a witch hyperfixation and urge to roleplay.

so what does all of that mean!!!! huh!!!!!! it seems important to me that breaking free off bonds is a topic in this. everyone dead seems to at least share this common burden. some sort of social obligation to bound them. who doesnt!! but this seems to be an important topic in this game.

battler's personal resolution haver theme is really good. he is so funny. he is not buying any of this. from a rational standpoint it is correct of his to keep his guard up and suspect the worst of his questionable relative. from a meta standpoint it is extremely funny and bizarre he would rather blame a relative than escape into the more calming belief that a magical being could be causing all of this. even when the servants all straight up tell him beatrice is a person.

battler said NO escapism. i accuse my aunt of murder like a man. and then he also threatened the servants into talking, i guess. well, let him be mean, he has lost so much....

it seems battler specifically was just born with the inability to see or talk to her. skill issue. so she has to communicate with him through others? AND THE THING IS he is right. there is no reason to believe in a witch. he might look silly to others but i get him though.

is this beatrice in the room with us right now

servants of course accept beatrice as the culprit no problem and they seem to just straight up know that the six dead people were choosen by chance. interesting. so thats just one of the normal game rules? i guess? i had been wondering.

also i had not expected my comment about how natsuhi living reminded me of a game of werewolf to be this accurate. so maria's charm actually did it's due. wtf my questions are actually getting answered.

ALSO

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF THEM ALL

natsuhi with a gun

the lore for that gun is so fucking funny. grandpas western culture love is so unserious if you Are the western culture reading this