#that the two girls end up having a romantic entanglement

[fourthousandbooks]

I’m probably about halfway through The Privilege of the Sword now, and some plot threads are starting to tangle together, as well as I have received confirmation that my otp from the previous book are doing about as well at relationship as they were before (so not at all) but they’re still madly in love with each other, so all is well.

Also Katherine and the other focal character, Lady Artemisia finally met again after having met right at the beginning and then not at all and now I’m encouraging Katherine to go and sweep Artemisia off her feet and away from all these terrible men around her. You two clearly have similar romantic sensibilities, and Katherine could be so much a better boyfriend than your current beau, Artemisia. Just risk everything and elope with the cute swordswoman!

[seravphs]

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — YUTA x FEM READER 

You’ve been trying to get a boyfriend to get over your one sided crush, but being known as Yuta’s girl across campus is a major cockblock for your romantic endeavours. The worst part? You’re not even dating.

wc — 4.8k

tags — pining, childhood friends to lovers, jealous Yuta, possessiveness, college au, Getou #1 wingman Suguru but only cause he gets a kick out of watching Yuta suffer, Yuta and you are so delusional, some suggestive content

♫: cologne — beabadoobee

This is the fifth boy that’s turned you down so far. You’re starting to wonder if something’s wrong with you. 

As with all of your woes, it ends with you at Yuta’s apartment. Is it pathetic to be comforted for your failed attempts at flirting by the boy you’re in love with? Very. Do you trust anyone else but Yuta not to make fun of you? No. 

“Yuta,” you whine into his stomach. He’s sitting on the couch with his legs tucked neatly together to form a cushion for your head. “Am I ugly?” 

He drops his controller instantly, muttering a quick sorry to Inumaki who’s suddenly left single handedly defending their team against the enslaught of monsters. “Why would you say that?” 

He pinches your cheeks between two fingers, squishing your face until your lips form an ‘o’. “You’re the prettiest girl in the world! Anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

Clearly not, or Yuta would have you. He’s just saying that because he has to. He’s your best friend.

“Did someone say something to you?” He asks. 

“So you do think I’m ugly!” 

Yuta grabs you by the wrists and hauls you upright so you’re face to face on the couch, knees uncomfortably entangled with his as you’re forced to sit up. He’s too earnest, too eager as he presses your hands together in his grip and says, “Everything about you is pretty! I never want to hear you say that again. Don’t disparage the eyes and lips and nose that I love.” 

This is the reason why you can never get over him. How can you when he says things like that? If you hadn’t known Yuta since you were five, you would say he was leading you on. But because you’ve grown up together, you know it’s just the way he is, like the sky is blue or the sun is warm. Yuta just loves you - but not like that. Not in the way you want. 

Never in the way you want. 

It’s been difficult. You and Yuta have no secrets between you, or at least you used to. It’s a side effect of growing up practically out of the same womb. What’s his is yours and vice versa. When you share everything with each other, it goes against your very nature to hold things back. Your secret strains at your lips, climbing up your throat, constantly begging to be set free even as you suppress it. 

“You’re making me sad,” he says, poking at your cheek at your silence. He’s trying to provoke you. “Why can’t you see yourself the way I do?” 

Normally he can get a smile out of you under any circumstance, so it distresses him not to be able to cheer you up instantly. He’s your best friend, the only one you have. You’ve been together your entire lives. Would telling him really change everything? 

You want to trust him more than the fear that he would reject you. Even if he can’t love you back the way that you want him to, at least this nightmare would be over. You could learn to accept what he was willing to give you, in time. Isn’t it a slight against the love you share to doubt him like this? 

But you’re scared. A childhood friend is irreplaceable. You can make new friends, but you can never get another Yuta. You’ll never be able to replicate the way he’s shared all of the bumps and bruises of your childhood with someone else. His mother has a box of your baby teeth that she keeps with her mementoes of his childhood. Who else can you say that about? You can’t risk it. 

“Yuta. Stop flirting and get your ass back in the game before we die!” 

Inumaki’s normally quiet voice hits a volume so loud it echoes through the headset. Yuta winces. Sorry, he mouthes at you. Talk later. 

God damn it, Inumaki. You were so close. 

“It’s not my fault,” he says through a mouthful of rice at lunch the next day. “How was I supposed to know that’s what you guys were talking about? I thought you guys were making your usual goo goo eyes at each other, not making breakthroughs.” 

“To be fair,” Panda says. “We never thought you were going to make a breakthrough, so it can’t be Inumaki’s fault.” 

“Ouch,” you rest your head against the cool linoleum of the table. “Way to let me down easy, guys.” 

“Come on,” Inumaki pushes his miso soup at you in a show of contrition. “You know we’re just joking.” 

“I know, I’m just annoyed cause you’re right - keep your mouth shut, Inumaki. He’s never going to see me that way.” 

“Didn’t you just jump from friend to potentially attractive friend? Sounds like a win to me,” Inumaki says. 

“For anyone else, yeah. For Yuta, it probably just means he’s going to start setting me up with his friends so I realize I’m pretty.” 

Inumaki and Panda share a look. You know the look. It means they think you’re being dumb. 

You steal Panda’s soup too as payback. 

Inumaki and Panda are easy to talk to about Yuta. More often than not, they’re the ones who bring up your relationship woes first because Inumaki loves teasing you and Panda secretly loves rom coms.

It’s a complete contrast from your other best friend. You’re too scared to tell Maki about the latest development in your relationship because she hates hearing about it. She’s a good friend who cares about you and your feelings, or so she claims, but she can’t stand watching you drag your feet. 

“Just confess already,” she hisses, using her textbook to shield her face from the professor. 

“I can’t! It’ll ruin everything!” 

“Don’t be a baby,” she snaps back, unaware of the professor walking towards her. You try to gesture at her to shut up, but she’s too focused on saying her piece. 

“Ladies. Would you like to continue your riveting discussion outside?” 

Even getting kicked out of class isn’t a deterrent for Maki. “Fine. You won’t confess to Yuta. What about your other plan?”

“No one will talk to me because they think I’m dating Yuta,” you wail as quietly as possible. 

“You serious?” She squints at you. “I’m telling you, just confess at that point.”

You shake your head vehemently. 

“Fine! Ignore me if you want to, but you see that guy coming our way? Try it one more time so I can see.” 

Maki pushes you down the path towards him before you can say no. You have an inkling how this is going to go based off the five previous times you’ve tried this, but Maki’s stare is drilling holes into the back of your head. 

“Hey,” you smile. 

“No thanks,” he says immediately. “Just save yourself the trouble. No one’s stupid enough to go after Yuta’s girl.” 

“Yuta’s girl? What does Yuta have to do with anything? Why does everyone keep saying that to me?!” 

“Bark up the right tree enough times and eventually you’ll find the devil.” 

“…I think the saying is ‘if you knock on enough doors, the devil will answer.’ How did you even come up with that?” 

“I’m just saying! Feels like the answer’s obvious to me, Yuta’s girl.” 

“Argh!” You march back to Maki, who’s giggling to herself. You just hope that at least she’ll be able to help you after that embarrassing little display. “So? What’s your advice?”

“Huh? Oh, I didn’t have advice. I just wanted to see it happen in real time.” 

Maki’s no help, either. 

The problem with being in love with Yuta is he doesn’t even allow you the grace of trying to get over him. No one will touch with you a ten foot pole until Getou. 

Getou is two years your senior, thinks of Yuta as this cute little puppy that follows Gojo around, and looks just right for your purposes. He’s not a carbon copy of Yuta. He just shares features with him. If anything, he could be his older brother. He has long black hair instead of short, but the same haunted eyes. 

It’s better that way, easier to not cut too deep. You know exactly how far you can go before the pleasure of pain tips too far into the wrong side. If he looks like him just enough, then you can slip in between lucid dreams. Yuta’s face comes to you in flashes rather than consistently when you’re together with Getou. 

He’s a smart man. He picks up on it almost instantly. 

Another reason Getou’s perfect for you? 

He simply doesn’t care. It’s not his problem what his darling little underclassmen get up to as long as it doesn’t interfere with his life. If you just want to have a good time, he’s down for that too. 

If you weren’t so hung up on Yuta, you think Getou might be fun. Fun could turn into love, perhaps. But those were only what ifs that were useless to you. It’s Yuta, it’s always been. He’s the only one for you. 

You can’t lose him. 

But you want him in ways he isn’t willing to give you. Incessantly, he haunts you at odd hours. You’re doing homework at one in the morning when your thoughts wander and you’re thinking of him. The way he’d coach you through this problem. The sure, strong strokes of his handwriting, as familiar as your mother’s voice. 

It’s hopeless. Every part of you has already been attuned to Yuta since childhood. You can’t extricate yourself. You can only hope to outlast the growth, and cling on as long as you are able. The only concessions you can allow yourself are small ones. 

Yuta’s a good student who sleeps early, but he’ll pick up for you. He always does. You’re his childhood best friend after all, and that leaves a sour taste in your mouth even as you begrudge yourself your own greediness. 

“Hello?” His voice is thick with sleep, husky and low in a way that you know doesn’t belong to you. You savor it anyways, these small intimacies you get to keep until he finds a girl of his own and doesn’t need you anymore. 

“Hello?” He says again. “Are you drunk? Do you need me to pick you up?” 

“Just bored,” you reply, playing with your pen. “Sorry, were you asleep?” 

“Don’t play with my feelings like that,” he laughs. “We both know you knew I was. Want me to stay up with you?” 

“Nah. I’m sorry for waking you up.” 

“You know I’d want you to, anytime. Are you working on the paper from English?” 

“Yeah. Go back to sleep,” you say, letting the smallest of smiles grace your lips. Alone in your room, you can allow yourself these small weaknesses. 

“Mm, but I wanna stay up with you,” he says, even as his voice grows softer and softer. You can almost picture him, hair sleep tousled and eyes half lidded. It’s a sight out of your dreams. 

“I’ll hang up when I’m done. Go to bed, Yu.” 

By the time you finish, you can hear his breathing evening out through the speakers. He’s a light sleeper, so you tip toe around as you finish getting ready for bed. When you have to hang up, you’re almost tempted to leave him on speakerphone so his soft breaths can lull you to sleep. 

You banish that unwelcome thought to the deepest, darkest, most remote time out corner of your brain and immediately text Getou to meet up the next day. You need to get a hold of yourself. 

“You know,” Getou drawls, “keep calling me out like this and I might get the wrong idea.” 

“If you fall for a girl that only talks to you about how much she likes her crush, that’s your own fault.” 

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “So what is it this time?” 

“I called him at night and his voice was so sleepy-“

“I meant,” Getou says, a finger running over the rim of his coffee cup as he looks at you. “What do you want me to do about it?” 

“Please make me forget him.” 

Getou smiles at you. “What a coincidence. I needed to blow off some steam today.” 

If you close your eyes, you can imagine someone else when Getou kisses you. One thing leads to another and he ends up taking you home. 

The thing about your relationship with Getou is it’s so ridiculously easy. There’s no strings attached for either of you, so when you wake up to his peaceful face in bed the next day, there’s no regrets. 

Well, except one. 

Getou’s a gentle lover in every way, but he’s a biter. There’s a trail of dark bruises blooming over your neck and collarbones. 

“Pretty, isn’t it?” He calls from the bed as you admire yourself in the mirror. 

“You’re an asshole,” you tell him. “I have to get breakfast with Yuta today.” 

He grins. “That’s the point.” 

You barely have time to messily apply concealer before you’re almost late to your appointment with Yuta. He’s waiting at the place he and you claimed as your own the very first day you arrived on campus. The nice granny who runs this diner has a soft spot for the two of you and often gives you free desserts. 

You slide into the seat across from him just as he’s wrapping up one of his readings for that day. He barely looks up when he feels you come closer, just lifts his arm wordlessly so he can tuck you into his side like a baby bird under its mother’s wings. He turns his head to the side even as his eyes are following the words on the page to press a light kiss to your temple, his breath stirring your hair as he rests his head against yours for a brief moment before returning to his textbook. He flips a page. 

Would he still allow you these gentle, nonchalant touches if he knew how you really felt? Your stomach drops at the intrusive fear that he might be disgusted by you afterwards, withdrawing the easy skinship he shares with you that he thinks nothing of, but you savor. You’re hyper aware of every brush of his hand against your shoulder as he lets his arm hand loosely around you. 

“I’m done,” he announces, stretching out so his lanky body is pressed flat to the table for a second before he straightens. He must be sore from hunching over his textbook all morning. In sympathy, you lightly rub at his shoulders. 

“Did you eat yet?” He asks. “Want me to order you something?” 

“No-“ You’re in the middle of replying when his face is suddenly far too close to you. 

“Hey there,” you laugh nervously. “What are you doing?” 

Yuta pulls back, but there’s a minute crease in his expression. 

“There’s something on your neck.” He says. 

“What?” 

His hand curls around the base of your neck. It doesn’t hurt. There’s a complete lack of pressure in his grip, fingers loose and curled. He’s just holding you. You inhale sharply, a recoil aborted. 

“Sorry,” he says, easy smile and gentle demeanor that doesn’t reach his eyes. They’re a little shadowed today, harried. He wears his emotions all over his face. You know he has a final today, that he likely didn’t sleep last night. It must be why he’s acting weird. 

His fingertips ghost over your neck, light tap-tap-tapping that makes you shiver. “What’s this?” 

You pull out your phone to check yourself in the camera. The concealer you put on this morning has sweated off, leaving streaks on your shirt. Underneath the smudges, the blurry outline of the marks Getou left on you last night are visible. 

Your face burns with mortification. 

“Yuta! You shouldn’t ask people stuff like that!” 

It’s not like he’s a child. You know he knows what a hickey is. He’s just pointing it out so you know he knows. 

He shrugs. “I mean, yeah, I’d be more careful about what I was saying if it was anyone else, but it’s you. What the hell happened? It looks like you had a tryst with a vampire.”

Gingerly, he touches your neck again, his fingers cold from holding his iced latte. You need him to stop doing that before you do something stupid. 

“Does it hurt?” He asks. 

“It felt good-“ 

“Stop! I didn’t need to know that,” he says, face turning red. 

Defensively, you retort, “Well, you asked!” 

“Forget it,” he sighs. “I’m sorry I spent all of breakfast studying. What are you doing later?” 

“Hanging out with Getou, probably. He said he wants to go to this new restaurant that just opened up.” 

“He’s the one that gave you all those love bites?” 

At your nod, Yuta rolls his eyes. He’s certainly in a mood today. Poor thing. He’s been working really hard lately. Not just today, but every day this past week, he’s been studying non stop. You should reward him. 

“Don’t go with him,” Yuta coaxes. “Hang out with your best friend instead. We can have another sleepover. Don’t you want to game all night?

The decision is made before Yuta even offers you a choice. You text Getou a quick apology, to which he replies with a lazy ‘lol. Loverboy?’

You’re happy Yuta asked you to come over. You’ve spent so much time fearing how he’d react if he knew that you’d forgotten how nice it felt to just hang out with him. 

You’re cuddling with Yuta on his couch as you watch a movie. He opted for a quiet night instead of gaming, so he broke out the snacks and remotes instead of controllers. You wish there was a way to push him away without explaining what’s going on. You and Yuta have always been touchy like this, comfortable with each other in a way that superseded even the closest of friends. 

It was never abnormal until now, when new love has redefined every aspect of your relationship with him. It makes it awkward to touch him, to be this close. But you always want to be this close. It’s hard, fighting a war with yourself. 

You snuggle into the hoodie he lent you, trying to hide your face. Your eyes dart to him, watching him instead of the movie. His hair has a faint blue sheen from the screen. He’s enraptured, staring open mouthed at the action sequence. 

Your heart beats double time, as it always does around him, prey instincts going into fight or flight. Yuta just does that to you, makes your body sing like it’s in the most exquisite agony possible. Like a runner’s high, you’re addicted to the pain of having him but not having him. Even the scraps of romance you can get are worth more than a lifetime of other lovers. 

You hope he can’t tell. Yuta has always had weirdly sensitive senses. 

Yuta’s line of sight shifts from the TV to you. You feel like a deer in headlights, trapped in the yawning black void of his gaze as he looks back, watching you as you have been watching him. 

‘Hey,’ he mouthes at you, the corners of his mouth lifting into a soft smile. 

‘Hey back,’ you mouth in return, wanting him, loving him, missing him. 

You rarely bring clothes when you’re staying the night at Yuta’s. Either he has some for you in a dresser he’s saved for your use, or you can just borrow his. You always end up changing into his clothes, anyways, so big and comfortable they swallow you up. 

He’s lying on his belly on the bed when you come out of the bathroom freshly showered and in his T-shirt. He looks up when he hears you. 

“Oh,” he says. He blinks once, hard. “Come here, please.” 

Self conscious, you cross the room to him. Your crush makes you miserable, coloring your every action. The fear that your desires are written across your face shadow every step you take. Are you that transparent? Can he tell? 

He reaches up to touch your face, reverent.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathes, then he pulls you down onto the bed next to him. 

“Don’t tease,” you tell him. 

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, embracing you. Even this feels too much. His skin against yours feels like a thousand colts of electricity. Where his nose brushes against your nape is so sensitive you squirm in his grasp, kicking uselessly in his hold. 

“I only say things that are true,” he tells you solemnly. “You are pretty.” 

You don’t know how you’re supposed to sleep after that. 

In the morning, you’re finally back in your own set of clothes to head out and face the day. You and Yuta get ready together, running through your morning routines. You brush your teeth and eat breakfast side by side. 

Before he leaves for work, he spritzes himself with the cologne he leaves on the dresser. When you reach for the perfume you keep in his apartment, a twinning his and hers set you had gotten together one day during the holidays, he pins your hand down. With an appeasing glance over you, he spritzes his cologne on you instead. 

He leans in and sniffs experimentally. 

“You smell nice,” he says. 

You lift your wrist to your nose and inhale. 

“I smell like you,” you say, laughing. He smells like a crisp winter morning, a hint of pine and frost. 

“Well, yeah,” he says. “I wouldn’t have picked this scent if I didn’t like it.” 

It’s true. Nothing Yuta does is unintentional.

“What the hell,” Getou says as soon as he opens the door to you. “You reek.” 

Your face burns. 

Getou roars with laughter when you tell him why you smell the way you do. “What a brat,” he says. 

“Hey!” You feel the compulsion to defend Yuta against even the smallest of slights. It’s instinctual, even though you know Getou doesn’t really mean it. 

He shakes his head at you. “I really pity you, you know? You’re so whipped.”  

Hanging out with Getou doesn’t end in anything physical tonight. He injured himself playing volleyball with Gojo and he’s not interested in anything but good company. You don’t know if you’d be interested, either. It’s always easier to pretend you don’t want him after a little bit of distance. Trying anything right after seeing Yuta would only tear your heart apart. You and Getou pass the time in amicable silence, working on your separate assignments in the same room. 

Your phone buzzes three hours in. 

Yuta 4:15 You busy? 

You 4:24 With Getou Working on homework  Why?

Yuta 4:24  Come over  I miss you 

You 4:24  I saw you this morning 

Yuta 4:24  …

Yuta 4:25 …

Yuta 4:25  I always miss you when you’re not here 

Getou cackles. You jolt, startled. You had honestly forgotten where you were. 

“Is that loverboy?” He says, trying to grab the phone out of your hand so he can see the message. “You look so lovestruck.” 

You yank it back from him. “I gotta go.” 

“Abandoning me again?” He shakes his head in mock sadness. “I’m really just a toy to you, huh?”

That makes you hesitate, even though you do want to see Yuta. 

He ruffles your hair. “Ah, youth. So gullible. I’m fine, sweetheart. Go see your beau. And send him my regards,” he says with a devious smile as he walks you to the door. His eyes light up when he sees the forgotten garment he had discarded on his coat rack. 

You look at him quizzically. It’s not strange for him to be a gentlemen, but it is strange for him to offer you his letterman before you leave. He loves that jacket. He wears it so often that his name emblazoned across the back has been worn down into a soft cream instead of eggshell white. 

“What’s this for?”

“Just wear it. And tell me how Yuta reacts.” 

With that, he pushes you out of the door. 

Yuta wrinkles his nose at you in a display of badly disguised contempt. He was so excited to see you when you walked through the door, but as soon as he saw what you were wearing, his smile dropped off his face. 

“What’s with that guy?” He grumbles. “It’s so weird that he’s giving you his letterman. Isn’t that almost like a claim in the sports world?” 

For some reason, it pisses you off. On most days, Yuta could commit a crime and you’d help him cover it up, but this time you seriously can’t tell where he gets off acting like this. He’s not dating you. He’s not interested in you. He doesn’t even see you as a potential partner. 

You jab your finger into his chest, punctuating every word you speak by prodding him. “Why do you think you can judge Getou? You don’t even know him.” 

“I know that he’s going after a taken girl.” 

“We’re just friends, Yuta.” The admission stings. No matter what anyone else thinks of your relationship with Yuta, that’s all you will be. 

“Yeah, but no one else thinks so.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Is it so bad to be seen with me?”

“It is if I’m trying to get a boyfriend! You’re the reason no one wants to date me!” 

“Do you need to date someone?” he says. Every word out of his mouth only makes you’re more incensed. He’s being condescending without meaning to, but it doesn’t soften the blow. 

“I want to!” 

“And if I don’t want you to?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

Your head is spinning. “That’s not funny.” 

“I don’t want you to be with Getou,” he says. “I want you to be with me. You’re right, it’s not fair, but I get this ugly feeling in my chest when you’re together and now I know why. I can be so much better for you than he is.”

“This isn’t about who’s better! You’re always-“ You’re on the brink of tears. “Ugh! You’re so frustrating, Yuta! I’m trying to get over you and you think you’re being noble by dating me because you want to keep me safe? Why would I ever want that?” 

“That’s not what I meant,” he says, so soft it makes you want to run into his arms and run away from him at the same time. Then he frowns. “Did you say you’re trying to get over me?” 

You glance at him, then the door. The calculations you run in your head say you can make it outside before he catches you. You turn so fast on your ankle the floor makes a despairing screech beneath the soles of your shoes as you beat a hasty exit.

The calculations in your head are wrong. He loops his arms around your waist and picks you up, throwing you effortlessly over his shoulder so he can carry you to the couch. You’re deposited with a soft grunt as he climbs over you and pins you down so you can’t even think of escaping. You thrash, regardless. 

“Let me go, Yuta!”

“I thought you called me Yu,” he teases. 

“You aren’t being cute!”

“Is it him?”

“Him?”

“I’ve been trying to get you to look at me that way this whole time,” Yuta says despairingly. “I didn’t want to scare you away, but I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. But before I even got a chance, this asshole steals you away?” 

“Yuta, what are you talking about?”

“Are you in love with Getou?” 

“Are you stupid?” You can feel hot tears well up in your eyes. It’s frustrating to be crying so easily because you’re embarrassed and angry. “I said I was trying to get over you! Just say what you have to say, don’t torture me like this.” 

“Did it work? Are you over me?”

“I’ll never be over you,” you sniffle. You just want him to leave you alone now so you can wallow in your own patheticness.

“I’m glad,” Yuta says, and then he cups your face in his hands so delicately, like he’s holding the most precious treasure in the world, and kisses you like he’s trying to steal the breath from you. 

Your knees crumble underneath you. He catches you easily and hoists you up, letting you settle with your legs wrapped around his waist. He holds you up with just one arm as he presses you harder against the wall, cushioning your head carefully. You’re pinned between his body and the wall. You moan against him, pleased and warm and disgustingly in love with him. All your senses are full of him as you cling to him.. 

Distantly, as if through water, you hear your phone buzz.

Getou 6:01 You owe me for that, by the way. 

[winterarmyy]

Thin Walls, Thin Lines

What will happen if a fuckboy falls in love with a hopeless romantic?

Summary: Modern society surely had corrupted the mind of the hundred-something year old man, Bucky Barnes, when he seemed to have forgotten the art of courting a lady. Lost in lust and pleasure, he had been indulging with endless array of different girls on his bed almost every night. And the opposite side of that thin walls of his room, lives a hopeless romantic who he was madly in love with.

Navigation: Original Version || Deleted Scene* (alt. ending)

Pairing: fuckboy!bucky x female!reader

Words: 4.9k++

Warnings: avenger au, explicit language/contents, angst, lil bit of drama, fluff, please bare with the fuckery of bucky barnes, reader is sensitive yet quite fiesty too. i can't backup steve on this one, he is on his own.

A/N: As you can see from the navigation bar, we have two different endings for this fic, because I am greedy and indecisive. The original version ended with fluff and the deleted scene (alternate ending) ended with absolute filth of a smut. So... enjoy! 💕

P/S: And this is also my submission for @jessybarnes 's writing challenge. I have chosen "Kiss me again" from the prompt list and I hope you like the way I used it in this fic!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Y/N has always been a hopeless romantic. She dreams of a love like the ones she read in books. She craved someone who loves her so deeply that she could never find peace in anyone else but him. She wanted all the love songs and poetry to be reminders of him; his beauty, his charms.

Fresh flowers, stargazing, coffee dates, kisses that tastes of cotton candy, warm cuddles, and every little things in between; she longed for it all. She dreams of a love that is so consuming until all that's left in that small bubble of infatuation is their entangled soul mending each other to the bone.

That's what makes her a hopeless romantic.

And very much the opposite of her was Bucky. He is an infuriating flirt. There's not a day goes by that he doesn't call her with sickeningly sweet nicknames; doll, gorgeous, princess, darling, you name it. He will definitely drop some suggestive lines at any given chance and most of the time when she least expected.

He can charm anyone just by his presence, and if you're lucky enough to get one of his infamous smile; then you best believe that you won't be going home alone that night, or able to walk proper the next morning. He is the typical playboy you know and hate; very often she'll see different girl in his arms or on his bed. And that man seemed to not know when to stop. Sometimes, she do wonder if he ever got tired of sex. Because she knows for certain that he can go on and on for hours, daily.

"Fuck,, that's it. Spread your legs for me. Yeah, 'atta girl."

Speaking of the devil.

This has been recurring for months now. It seems like the man never sleep because his voice would always wake her up. She couldn't decide what was worse; between being forced to hear the sounds of the skin slapping, the bed creaking, him groaning and her squealing or being a super light sleeper that even a whisper in her room would jolt her awake.

Y/N let out an annoyed grunt when she swoop her head under the pillow, hoping to silenced the noises even just a little bit. Surprise; it didn't help at all. Her body cringed and her face contorted into a squint when she hear the other woman announcing her release as the headboard hits the wall a little harder, a little faster.

Bucky Barnes sure is a fuckboy but unfortunately for her, he is also the man she fell in love with.

She refused to show it, but lord knows how much her heart simply swell to the sight of his smile. Despite the flirtatious tendencies of his, there was something about him that attracted her like a magnet; or like a moth to a flame.

Maybe it was his old soul, or maybe because she saw glimpses of timeless charm in him; the way he moves, the way he gazes, and the way treated her. Nevertheless, it was such a devastating thing for someone like her to fall for someone like him.

The last thing she wanted in a man, is to look at her like she was just a good fuck and nothing more. She just couldn't imagine herself to be tied with someone like that. And Bucky was exactly that someone.

Y/N haven't been able to get more than 2 hours of sleep for months now. The lack of it had caused her to drastically lose physical strength and lately fatigue has been a constant presence as well.

So she decided to go the medbay to consult Dr. Cho about it. After running some tests, she sat her down for some Camomile tea as she went through the results, "It seemed like the severe lack of sleep had took a really heavy toll on you."

Y/N sighed as she place the tea cup on the back on the table, "Yes, I am well aware of that. That is precisely why I am here."

"Nightmares?" Dr. Cho speculated.

If the definition of nightmare is 'the moans of the man, that she had a crush on, fucking someone else next door' then, yes. She was having long and nearly endless nightmares for months now.

"Something like that." She lied.

"Then, I have some medication that I can prescribe to you. You should take it daily after dinner and..." Before Dr. Cho managed to finish her instructions, Y/N quickly asked, "Is it possible to fix me without meds?"

Dr. Cho frowned curiously, "Why wouldn't take meds? That's the quickest way to help for your situation, as far as I know." she asked.

This was not her first rodeo; she had troubles sleeping back when she was merely teenager. And the last time tried using meds, she ended up almost overdosed herself from it, "It's just... I prefer not to." she evaded.

Dr. Cho nodded understandingly before clarifying the current situation, "Well then, I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do for you. Though some research suggested that meditation routine before sleep can help. Or putting up some natural ambience like the sound of rain or waves--"

Y/N wasn't really listening after the first sentence. Because all she could thought of was how much longer she can bare with this and what will it take for her to finally snap.

Y/N was dying. At least it felt like it.

With her deprivation of sleep and the intense combat training she had to go through today, her patience was reaching it's limit. After visiting the medbay 2 weeks ago, she had tried to approach Bucky about it but he always took it lightly.

There was series of insincere apology followed by a cheeky promise to 'keep the tone down' for her. But nothing changed. She asked him again and again; days gone by he didn't live up to the end of his bargain.

For those past week, Y/N had resorted to sleep in the living room for most of the nights. How she dreaded to leave her comfy bed but she could no longer tolerate the sounds coming from the other side on the wall. Though she still jolted awake from time to time due to how uncomfortable it was sleeping on a couch, but at least she got more than 2 hours of sleep if she was to compare to the nights she slept in her own room.

It's not she didn't notice it at all; she knew exactly how and why it happened. The habit of microsleeping that she developed during the course of this training. The slowed reaction time, the lack of energy, she can feel it. But, there was nothing she can do about it.

The only cure for this was to get some rest. A proper rest. And that can't happened, not without Bucky's cooperation.

When Y/N was marching towards the sargent who was sitting way across the gym; she could see how his eyes undress every piece of her clothing, how his tongue rolled out and his teeth sunk into his lips.

She wasn't even wearing anything remotely provocative but here he was lusting over the way her hips sway especially when he was the one she's walking towards.

The moment she stood in front of him, his mouth lifted into a smirk, "Yes, princess. How may I be of your service?" His voice was sultry and the way he towers over made her slightly nervous for no reason.

Her heart fluttered, yet her lips refused to form a smile, "Don't call me princess."

"I apologize, my queen." Bucky gave her a cheeky smile.

Y/N didn't want to drag this any longer than she should, so she quicky jump into it and said, "So you know how I’m like-"

"-absolutely embarrassingly in love with me? Yes, I'm familiar go on." Bucky cuts in. If panic ever rose in her chest, then she was doing an incredible job of hiding it, "Can you just shut up for a second and take me seriously?"

His eyes glint with flirtaous mischief when he replied, "Doll, you know the fastest way to shut me up is to kiss me."

Y/N simply sighed before she began to rant, "I really don't have the mood for this banter with you, Barnes. I just want you tone down your nightly routine. It is because of you I've been having trouble sleeping and--"

He quickly stopped her before she nags even more than she already did, "Okay, okay I get it. We've been through this, doll." Bucky's face lit up when he suggested, "How about I help you sleep, hmm? I may know a thing or two about tiring someone out." There was surely something unholy in those steel blue eyes of his.

And Y/N picked it up rather quick, but considering the amount of times he had insinuate something more than just a friendly banter, then of course she knew exactly what he was suggesting, so she simply replied, "No offense, Barnes. But, I don't do one night stand or no strings attached thing. And with a manwhore like you? No, thank you." sassy was her answer.

Bucky's head tilted back as he laughed, then when he spoke his voice was like a devil luring an angel to sin, "Oh babydoll, if I were to be a whore, it'll only be for you." He stepped closer so that only she can hear his confession.

His masculine scent hits her nose, mixture of the citrus cologne and his natural odour was just perfect. Annoyingly alluring; but perfect. And it took all her will to hold it together and blatantly rejects him, "Still not interested."

Bucky groaned in protest, "Come on, princess. You can't keep dreaming for some prince charming to court you, do you? You know that's probably never going to happen right?"

Surely he meant only to tease her; that it was less likely that an actual prince to romance her. Not that she did not deserve the world; she does. And Bucky was more than will to burn it to the ground if that's what she wanted.

But, Y/N didn't see it that way. She thought that Bucky meant that she is not worthy enough for a decent man to court her with respect and chilvary; that she was just a toy fit for fucking and nothing more. And the fact that her "insomia" had affected her usually high patience and reduced it to almost paper thin, it was only fair for her to finally snap.

She can tolerate his endless flirtation but she can't simple turn a blind eye for his insult.

Bucky was caught by surprise why Y/N harshly grabbed him by the collar, pushing him back and nearly stumbled; her eyes was pure fire when she growled, "Don't you dare mock the way I value relationship, Barnes." Her nose flared with anger and the commotion has attracted some prying eyes towards the two.

"Just because you enjoy fucking anything that breathes, that doesn't mean that everyone else does." She seethed, "The only cock that will be wrecking my pussy would belong to someone I love and if you have a problem with that, you can fuck right off." She forcefully pushed him until his ass landed on the bench behind him.

Her feet stomped all throughout her exit out of the gym, leaving Bucky in a blinking confusion.

He knew it was wrong.

It felt good. It felt right.

But, it was so fucking wrong.

To keep moaning Y/N's name when he railed those strangers to heaven; when he came so hard into the thin layer of condom. And it was always a soft and slow type of whimper, right in those girls' ears. So intimate, so careful not to let his secret out; knowing how thin the walls between him and the love of his life.

But, he certainly didn't care about the girl he was fucking. If it wasn't for his heavy body pinning her from behind, she would've elbowed him right in the guts for moaning another woman's name. Unfortunately for him, she quickly ditched and see herself out after the first round.

Now, he laid there; naked and bare. Thinking of how he simply couldn't help it. How could he not think of Y/N all the times? Not when he was deeply, helplessly in love with her. But, he knew she wouldn't bat an eye at him now that he had the reputation of a "fuckboy", as the young ones describes it. She especially made it clear today at the gym. She's never going to give him a chance now.

Not when she's a hopeless romantic. And the fact that he too was once the same was just aggravating to him. He was such a gentleman decades ago; before Hydra, before the war, when he was but a young man living Brooklyn.

His Ma had really shaped him into the perfect gentleman; every parents in the neighbourhood wanted him as their son-in-law. They claimed he would make the perfect husband for their daughters. But, things are different now. And he knew that the man he was before was long forgotten.

It was just curiosity at first; about how sex works in the 21st century. However, Bucky quickly fall into the promises of lust and pleasure; changing girls like changing clothes. He let himself dosed in ecstasy, as if it was a drug to silenced the dark and haunting memories of his past, like it was a quick escape from reality, from the Winter Soldier.

Then, Y/N happened.

Bucky never saw it coming; but, he fell. Hard.

They were colleague for years and had been a good friend he can rely on besides Steve. She was so sweet and pretty. Probably the most gorgeous woman he ever laid his eyes on, in the hundred something year old life of his. Most importantly, she was kind and patient and strong and fierce yet so unforgivingly selfless. 

But that didn't matter now, does it? Especially when she despise him. And it was all because of the unholy title he held.

At first Bucky didn't notice it, but now that he stepped closer into the living room, he heard it again. The rustling fabric, the quiet whimper coming from the sofa. His steps were as careful as a wolf on a hunt, stalking a hiding prey in between the trees.

If Bucky were to guess what he would find on a late night trip to the kitchen, he would've probably said 'ice cream' and not 'Y/N sleeping in the living room'. His eyes briefly raked her sleeping figure, curling uncomfortably into the pastel purple blanket. Then at the scattered pillows on the floor around her.

Why was she sleeping in the living room?

Another whine passed her lips and his attention was locked on her frowning face; it seemed like she was having a bad dream. Bucky carefully crouch next to her, and ravel in her beauty. Such delicate features, long lashes, pretty freckles across her nose, and those soft looking lips; he would kill just to taste her them, to sink his teeth in between them.

It worried him though; to see her sleeping here. She was clearly uncomfortable, it was a mystery that she managed to even fall asleep in the first place. Bucky suspected she simply passed out due to today's training. It was particularly hard, even for him. Let alone a normal human being like Y/N.

Not to mention the fight that they had.

Then, it clicked. The complains about how she had trouble sleeping. It wasn't just to make fun of him or tease him in any way. It was a plead. She needed to be heard and he completely blew her off with jest and jokes.

"Was it because of... me?" Bucky thought to himself. It all made sense now, "Shit." A curse rang in his mind when he bit the insides of his cheek. He was mad at himself. How could he be so insensitive? And he claimed to love her? Please. What an absolute piece of shit he was.

When Y/N began to toss and turn, her blanket fell from her body. Even in her sleep, the cold managed to catch her. She instinctively curled towards herself, seeking warmth but was no avail.

She look so small and Bucky felt a surge of need to cuddle her close, keeping her safe, keeping her warm in his arms. But if he does that, he'd probably get kicked in the nuts. So instead, he picked up the fallen blanket lay it back across her whole body; carefully not to disturb her sleep.

Bucky smiled softly when she snuggled into the fabric and before he walked away, he swore to stop this corrupting habit of his and apologize for being such a douchebag to her. And if he's lucky, maybe he could even properly court her.

But for now, he just needed to go through tommorrow's mission. So does everyone one else in the team.

"Do you realized what you have done?" Not matter how hard he tried to hold it back, everyone in the Quinjet can see how Steve was seething.

Y/N's lost of sleep had took a toll on her more than she realized now that it had affected her performance in mission. She tried to ignore the way she was basically seeing Steve's feet multiply by the second, and continued to look down in shame, "I'm sorry, Captain."

"Don't apologize to me. Nat's the one who got shot because of you!" He yelled as he pointed at the red haired woman at the side of the plane.

No matter how much she wanted to blame Bucky on this; how he literally robbed her from fulfilling her human needs to rest at night, but she just couldn't. It was her fault that Natasha got hurt. If she was more alert, she would've seen the enemy standing right in front of her. If she was awake enough, then Natasha wouldn't get hurt.

Tears threatened to form when she looked over at her dear friend, bleeding at the side, "I'm so sorry, Nat. I really am. I didn't know what came to me and I--"

"Oh please, I'd take a bullet for you any day of the week, honey." Natasha swiftly cuts into her apology, in attempt to diffuse the heated situation.

But, Steve totally disagree with her, "Don't make this 'okay', Nat. You almost died because for her carelessness. Being inadequate shouldn't be okay for any agent to do. It is extremely reckless and downright stupid."

There was a sound of a distant gasp from the pilot pit, "Language!" Tony was clearly trying to lighten up the mood but it failed rather miserably when no one reacted.

Steve had every right to be mad, especially when his girlfriend was injured because of this, but oh does it hurt to hear his stabbing words. It hurts more when it comes from the Captain America himself.

God, she was extremely tired.

Physically, mentally and that's what happens when a person is lack of sleep. Then when she thought about all her hardwork and struggles to train amongst the superhero themselves, she couldn't help but to crack; and the tears that was building up in her eyes finally fell.

When Steve saw it, he lost it completely, "Oh, you're gonna cry now? WOW. Real mature, y/n. You can't disappoint me more can you?" At that point, he was being a little too mean for anyone's liking.

Especially Bucky.

So Bucky slowly pulled Y/N back, and shielded her body behind his as he went on face to face with his bestfriend, "That's enough, Steve." He warned but Steve doesn't seem to get the idea, "No, Buck. Do you see--"

Bucky took one step closer, his menacing glare went right through Steve's soul, "I said... that's enough." He repeated his words. This time the message went through.

Steve gulped and cleared his throat as he waved a dismissing hand, "I expect a full report and a letter of apology from you when we get back, y/n." He ended his sentence with his back turned and then walked away towards his girl.

When Bucky turned around to face Y/N, she was but a crying mess. Tears kept streaming down and her lips quivered in so much sadness. Now, that she was in the light, Bucky could see the darker shades on the bag of her eyes.

This was his fault. If he just stopped goofing around and listen to what she had to say yesterday, she wouldn't need to go through this, "Oh sweetheart..." though he meant to call her in his mind, it might just slipped through his lips.

Y/N glared up at him, "This was none of your concern, Barnes." She spat.

He shrugged, "Well, lucky for you, I don't care whose it is. What I know is I care about you. Now, let's get that wound patch up." Bucky simply said, and that was when she realized that her ribs were slashed open, bleeding and torn. Maybe it was not too deep, that was why she didn't notice it.

But it is an injury nonetheless, and it was a surprise to her that Bucky noticed it. "I don't want your help." She frowned yet continued to sniffle.

"Yeah, but you need it." He replied as he carefully tucked the loose strand of her hair behind her ears.

Unable to think of any comebacks, she let her fatigue win over. Her lips shut tightly and her chest shuddered for breaths. And when Bucky took her hand in his and lead the way, her body instantly responded by gripping him tight.

Bucky's heart soared at the touch of her small hand in his, while fire was burning in hers.

She hates him. She hates how caring he can be. She hates how soft he was when handling her. And she hates how easy it was for him to make her fall for him even more.

Y/N's body quickly went on auto pilot; she let him undress the blood soaking top and patch her wounds. And Bucky let her cry her heart out on his shoulder all the way back home to New York.

That night when everyone had settled back to their own rooms, Y/N was prepping to sleep outside again. It was like a schedule for Bucky to always fuck whatever his frustrations out when they finished a mission.

And she doesn't want to hear any of it. Not tonight.

Thankfully, her wounds were mostly healed thanks to Dr. Cho and her ingenious of a machine, Cradle. That thing fixed the teared tissue right up with its regenerative  functions.

Now, Y/N just needs to endure the bruises but those are bearable. What she couldn't bear is the lack of energy and goodnight's sleep. She wished to just pass out for days and not wake up even if a prince came to kiss her to wake.

And she knew that sleeping in her room won't give her that.

Y/N piled her pillows and blanket on top of another before scanning the room one last time to make sure she didn't leave anything behind. Because she was not planning to step foot in her room until dawn comes, hoping the sounds from the other side of the room died down by then.

When she was walking pass Bucky's, she noticed how awfully quiet his room was, but she didn't think about it too much. She waited for the elevator to open its door only to reveal the man himself, "Barnes."

He eyed how Y/N's figure almost hidden behind the piles of pillow in her hold. He stepped out as he asked, "Where do you think you're going?" Bucky knew exactly where but he was not having any of that.

It was weird to her that she didn't see any sign or Bucky's hook-up in his arms, but she bet that there will be one after she's gone downstairs, "Away from you, that's for sure." She said, taking a step into the elevator but instantly stopped the moment Bucky blocked her path.

Bucky lips flatten against each other; he didn't say anything, he only frowned down at her then simply grabbed her wrist and dragged her back to her room.

Utterly confused, "What are you doing? Hey, let go of me." She twisted her wrist in his hold, while trying to balance the pillows from falling. A useless trial it was; because who could even escape that metal grip of his.

Bucky quickly respond, "No. You're not sleeping on that shitty sofa tonight." He stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned to her, "You're injured, y/n. You need on a proper rest on a proper bed." He coaxed.

How did he know that she had been sleeping on the coach? She thought before saying out loud, "I'm fine, Barnes. It's not even that deep of a wound, the Cradle fixed it clean. So, can you just... let go of my hand?" She sighed.

But Bucky refused to even spare her a glance, he silently tug her and stomp his way towards her room. There waa retaliation on her side, but his lack of response had lead Y/N to her defeat. She begrudgingly followed his long strides until she they stood by her bed.

He snatched each of the pillows and blankets off her hands, while Y/N simply blinked speechlessly as she watched Bucky started set up her bed like he had been doing it everyday.

Weirdly, at times like this, she found him extremely lovely. There was no corny and flirty comment about her, or his annoying habit of teasing every little thing she does.

There was just a comfortable silence and a kind gesture; the type that pulled the red strings of her heart just enough to make her want to dream of him.

Fucking hell, she can't believe that he managed to do that again! Making her fall for his antics. He really needs to stop doing that, it's simply rude.

Y/N broke from her love struck trance when she felt his cold metal laced around her hand again, he pulled her closer, "Now hop on, bunny. You need to rest." He lead her under the blanket and she grumbled curses under her breath, something about he need stop calling her weird nicknames like that.

When she was well tucked in and comfortable, Bucky sat at the edge of the bed by her side and spoke, "I'm sorry. For not trying to listen to you at the gym yesterday. I was a jerk."

His apology was so sincere that Y/N caught herself in a shock. Who is this man? What has he done to Bucky Barnes?

His eyes lingered to the wall behind her bed as if he was trying to find the right words to address it, "About the noises..." he trailed, "...it'll stop from now on."

Oh. Nevermind. She liked this Bucky. She wants to keep him forever, "Really? You mean it?" There weren't any effort put to hide her excitement when her voice nearly squeaked.

Bucky chuckled amusingly at her reaction, "Really, doll. But, you gotta promise not to sleep on the couch again."

Sparks of joy filled her chest when he confirmed his decision. Sure, it was such a small favour to do to anyone. But, she appreciate his efforts to make amends. "Hmm, I promise." She hummed happily, blinking slow as the comfort of her bed lured her into a drowsy state.

"Thanks, Bucky." Her mentioned his name.

Thank god for the super sensitive hearing ability, cause Bucky surely love the sound of her voice whispering his name so softly, "For apologizing or for tucking you to sleep?" He jest.

It only made her eyes rolled to the side and a smile spread across her face, "Both." she said. "And for what you did on the jet."

Bucky simply shrugged as if it was a normal thing to do. But, it wasn't. It was rare for him to challenge Steve like he did. And he did it for her, "Really, I owe you one." She said assuringly.

A playful smirk pulled on Bucky's lips when he spoke "Doll, you shouldn't be saying that so carelessly. Who knows I might use it for despicable things." Surely, he love to be the cause to bloom those red shades on her cheeks.

But it didn't happened when she asked quietly, "Will you?"

And the silence that came after was heavy with tenderness while their eyes spoke the truth to one another. As the thin lines in between got blurry, for once, there was just streams of genuine feelings pouring out of them, leaking through and contaminating the air with its magic.

Would he? Take advantage of her?

How could he though? He loved her too much to even think of purposely hurting her. "No." Bucky replied as he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead, "Sleep well, princess." He mumbled against her skin.

And he pulled back, he grinned a cheeky smile. There it was; the pink blush on her face, wide surprise of her eyes and her slightly parted lips. She looked so adorable. He swore couldn't get enough of it.

"Kiss me again..." she nearly growled, but her blushing on her face didn't indicate anger, "...and I will choke you in your sleep." Though it was an attempt to threaten but typical of Bucky to just love to turn things around, "Hmm, is that an invitation, princess?" He purred and stole another kiss; this time, on her cheek. "Then, I will be looking forward to it." He whispered as quickly as he removed himself from the scene.

When he found his own bed, he couldn't help but to laugh at the muffled scream coming from the opposite side of the thin walls, "James. Fucking. Barnes!!!"

End.

Alternate ending (smut edition): Deleted Scene >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: I hope you drop some thoughts behind before going to the deleted scene. Which I know you will. See you on the other side 👀

[runaeveena]

Your dashboard if you were in a d&d fantasy world still involved in fictional erotica discourse part 2

⛰️ berenicesblade Follow

now that the new Mountain Angel volume has come out can we please tag spoilers, some of us are still waiting for our pigeon mail

🦚 faeynadaughter Follow

you can access the volume in full on TomePlane!

🎭 bardcampistrash Follow

until TomePlane acknowledges that its interplanar storage is made possible by binding aboleths to the plane and killing them then we are going to continue not using that platform, thanks

🦚 faeynadaughter Follow

aboleths killed my cousin who was a royal cleric. ill never understand why theres a whole movement to protect abyssal creatures when theyve caused so much damage to our kingdoms. and disliking a pocket dimension which provides thousands of people access to books? your attitude reeks of anti literaturism and mal-aligned virtue signaling and im not sure which is worse

🫒 tenthday237 Follow

Aliizya gets pregnant on page 62

⛰️ berenicesblade Follow

banished

620 Notes

🏰 finchtruther Follow

okay but the way that faelor finch writes every song that perfectly fits pennbiel liiike its giving closet fangirl

🧭 waywardwarlock

seriouslyy!! like what else is "give me your unmarked hand / in the shadowfell we won't be a secret" supposed to be about if not pennipher and corabiel

16 Notes

🌫️ cloudgiant-snailboy Follow

yall please dont fill up the unseen servant tag with your super fucking weird smut posts im just looking for tips on how to find my unseen servant

🪡 scç-writer

the search function on tomeblr does need to be updated but we dont have to kinkshame :)

🌫️ cloudgiant-snailboy Follow

the site is being overrun by virgin degenerates

🍯 treebarkhookhandwagondoor

sounds like you need Wilam the Wizard with Wandering Hands to help you summon the unseen stick in your ass

290 Notes

🗝️ crypt-princess Follow

so whose going to be the first to commission a painting of that scene with Aliizya and the beholder 👀

🍎 bloodmaledickening Follow

i already asked my local artisan he said he's gotten two other commissions for the same scene lmao

🐁 softbarbarian

girl i commissioned a tapestry

45 Notes

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

friendly reminder that devil deals are a real thing that a lot of people fall victim too and that demons are malicious and do destroy peoples lives if theyre not careful so please be careful when consuming works like Hellionfinity which romanticizes devil deals and fiendish soul contracts

🌾entangled-farmer Follow

imo any work of fiction that involves a romance between any type of fiend is not just problematic but harmful

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

i used to be indifferent to books that had devil romance interests because like thats their whole thing theyre seducing people to get their souls and the mc overcomes it, but reading through the replies i see that Hellionfinity actually ends with the devil character as the main romantic lead which is super problematic in terms of power imbalance and the fact that he has a redemption arc is so out of touch especially since our military is finally recovering from the azgurian assault

🧚🏻‍♂️arms-of-faelor

helliofinity also has a scene where the main character uses a soul coin that an imprisoned mortal gave him and he uses it to bring the devil out of avernus so he doesnt fully die and no one in the book mentions it or talks about how messed up it is to use soul coins and we never see the now bound to hell prisoner ever again

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

hellionfinity officially cancelled on my end!

88 Notes

☘️ celest-ial Follow

moment of silence for all the customers waiting on drink orders while the tavern wench gets her back blown out by a new guy every night ✊😔

🦁 king-killa Follow

the gods work hard but Girthy Gladys gets worked harder

57,022 Notes

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

paladin and warlock romances are OUT! cleric and necromancer romances are IN!

🪭 royalcoinpurse Follow

the only thing a cleric should do to a necromancer is beat him to death so she can revive him and kill him again

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

❇️ arch-dryad Follow

i think we need to analyze why we're so quick to place women in categories of devious seductress or healer in romance novels as if that hasnt been the pervasive trope that holds magic-touched women back in our actual society

🍯 treebarkhookhandwagondoor

why do you assume these fictional tropes are mf couples only? can a gay cleric not beat his gay necromancer boyfriend to death?

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

and off! beat him off cmon guys

5,275 Notes

🧀 weremouse Follow

yall ever be talking or whatnot and feel like no one understands you

🪨 sebrenenogdon Follow

ᛄᚠ ᛡᚢ ᚳᚪᚾ ᚱᛁᛞ ᚦᛄᛋ ᛡᚢ ᚺᚪᚠ ᛏᚢ ᚱᛁᛒᛚᚪᚷ ᚦᛄᛋ

🧀 weremouse Follow

say that shit fr (<- looking around clueless)

🪨 sebrenenogdon Follow

ᛋᛁᚱᛁᚪᛋᛚᛁ

60 Notes

🌠 crownofstars

remember when that person made a call out post for the author of ilairepeler for using a ghost writer and it turned out the author was an actual ghost. writing. like a literal ghost writer. like.

🍄gnomestool Follow

arent you the dwarf that fucked a slaad

🌠 crownofstars

how would you like to become a ghost so you can write more witty comments like this for eternity

301 Notes

[kerrslvr]

reward // mary earps

summary; in which, after she wins SPOTY, you give mary a reward like no other.

warnings; dom!mary, sub!reader, cocky mary, cunninlingus, fingering, mary loves to manipulate reader into saying i love you, strap-ons, grind pads, reverse cowgirl, spanking, daddy kink (blink and you'll miss it), nipple stimulation, fluff at the end. probably missed some warnings and probably made typos, sorry. also… take this as a christmas present. merry christmas u filthy lesbians x

pairing(s): romantic mary earps x scott!reader, platonic jill scott x sister!reader (r is about 24/25 in this… mary & jill are their current ages at the time of writing - 30 & 36 respectively)

based on this request x

"this is live on the BBC and you're wearing a dress with a slit that deep?"

the frown in jill's voice was clear as you stepped out of the taxi and into the chill of the manchester air, the immediate swarm of camera flashes turned your way.

"can tell you're getting old," you replied as you adjusted the skirt of your dress, "you're starting to sound like mum."

your oldest sister was not amused by her likening to your mother. shelly couldn't make it to the spoty ceremony, and seeing as most of jill's friends were going anyway, she'd invited you. originally, you'd been invited by the company you work for, but being a sports journalist in-training, they'd found someone more qualified than you to do the job; and jill didn't like that.

"just make sure your dress doesn't malfunction and cause headlines tomorrow," she said, waiting patiently for you to catch up as you scurried along beside her, "otherwise mam'll have a breakdown."

you shrugged your shoulders at your sisters worry, you weren't wearing the dress for her, or the cameras. there was only one person you were wearing it for, and you could see her in your peripheral vision, stepping out of her vehicle, dressed to the nines in what can only be described as a revenge dress on you.

she spotted you instantly, your pretty hair and your not-so-innocent eyes and the way they twinkled as they met hers across the carpet. your dresses almost matched, the gaping neckline, the peeks of skin through the lacy mesh, the long black skirt.

you had to fight your jaw so it didn't drop to the floor, and it seemed like everyone else around you also had to fight their urges. people screamed mary's name and you struggled to keep your composure as you and jill eagerly waltzed over to see her.

"i'm so proud of you," jill sqeaked eagerly as she wrapped her arms around mary's shoulders. the look she gave you when your sister wasn't looking almost let your knees give way. "and you look lovely."

"very similar to your sister, come to think of it, jill," mary pointed at your dress and scanned you up and down, "minus the obscenely high split."

you cursed mary with a knowing look before jill turned to compare. if she found out you and mary were frequent flyers in each others beds she would probably wring you out herself, let alone your mother.

"i was just about to compliment you, earps," you shrugged off her devilish eyes and knowing smirk, "but i think i'll just keep my mouth closed."

the two of them did press for a little while, and you watched from the sidelines, admiring mary's demeanor. you couldn't remember how long ago everything started between you and mary, although the euro's final was the first night you spent entangled between her sheets. you didn't even know you were into girls - let alone mary - when you first started sleeping together, and at first, that's all it was, until it wasn't.

she started picking you up from the station, inviting you to games, date night after date night, after date night. one morning things changed and you both realised there were painfully strong feelings of love underlying, but she was thirty and you were twenty five, and she was your sisters best friend, and you were a sports journalist. you both knew how bad it looked.

but, the feelings of love outweighed the feelings of lust, and that was the worst part.

"don't you fancy asking me some questions then, love?"

mary's voice lulled you from your daydream, and she met you in a less crowded corner of the carpet. you could see jill mingling with leah and jen, the three of them chatting politely while they waited for mary to finish up with her interviews - at least, thats what she told them.

"surely you've had enough of questions, mary."

she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and let her hand rest on your shoulder. the heat from her skin on yours sent burning flashbacks rushing through your brain.

"maybe i have," she leaned down and tilted up your chin with her fingers. even without her heels on she towered over you, but with her heels on she was even taller, nearing six foot, and it made you squirm. "but i've not had a single question from the person i want to speak to."

you couldn't help but let a smile come to your face, and mary admired your fluttering eyelids, "and who might that be, earps?"

mary's thumb traced your lip, and you couldn't help but pucker your lips. "i think you know exactly who it is, princess," she laughed, and for a moment, she thought about kissing you, but she wanted to have her fun tonight, "you can unpucker those lips and ask me your first question."

you sighed and looked at her with soft eyes - of course she was in one of those moods tonight. mary got off on you when she put you in these situations, it drove her absolutely insane. "don't you want to kiss me in public?"

mary rolled her eyes and leaned in, her lips pressing against yours softly as the breeze of manchester air blew across the two of your bodies. a storm was coming, and the chill sent goosebumps across your skin, mary's too, but she was much better at composing herself.

you wanted to deepen the kiss, to outstretch your arms and pull her closer, to guide her hand up into the slit of your dress, but you knew better than to draw attention to your escapades.

mary was first to pull away, and the pink hue of your lipgloss had tainted her light brown. it was a sight to behold.

"better?"

"hm," you shrugged, "what do you plan on doing if you win the award tonight?"

"finally a question i can answer without lying," mary hummed, "if i win tonight i'm going to be taking my girlfriend back to my hotel room, and doing many, many inappropriate things with her."

you shivered at her words, and had to fight the urges running rife inside your bloodstream.

"oh, really?" you questioned, a raised eyebrow. jill noticed you two were standing together in a quiet corner, "and what do you plan on doing if you don't win?"

"oh, well, lets see," mary faked a thought, and you spotted jill walking towards you both with an excited grin, "oh, yes, i'll be taking my girlfriend back to my hotel room and doing many, many appropriate things with her."

you couldn't help but blush, and you opened your mouth to reply but jill stood in your way. "ceremony's gonna start soon, we really should think about going in, Y/N," she gave you a questioning look, silently asking if you were okay, and you nodded. "they want you for a few more pictures, mary, we'll see you in there."

jill was quiet as the two of you walked behind leah and esme, and you were petrified she would bring up the question and ask you what's going on between you and her best friend, and you didn't have an answer.

"she's your type," she said after a while, nudging you with her shoulder, "mary, i mean, not the girl you were telling me about in the car earlier. mary's the best, hilarious, good with her hands -"

"okay, jilly, thanks," you hit her on the shoulder, "i don't need you to play matchmaker, especially not with mary earps, now c'mon, my heels are killing me."

*

mary couldn't quite believe she'd won the award, and as the night lingered on, her body consistently kept gravitating towards yours. you didn't mind, it seemed everybody in the room kept themselves occupied, if they weren't pulling mary away for five minutes, they were mingling with each other.

jill noticed you and mary spending more time with one another than what she thought acceptable as two people who don't know one another all that well, and she knew she ought to bring it up, but when you began to say your goodbyes approximately ten minutes after mary did at almost midnight, her intuition kicked in.

"leaving already?" she asked, coming up to you before you could show up in front of her, "you and leah are almost always the last two on the dancefloor singing shania twain, or... do you have something better to do?"

you knew that look, the look she was giving you. it was the look she always gave you when she was disappointed you didn't tell her things, like when you failed your driving test and told her you'd passed just so she'd let you drive her new car, or when she'd swung open your bedroom door when you were nineteen to find you in bed with your first boyfriend, much to her disgust.

"if you're galivanting off to sleep with mary, i don't mind," she said, brushing the hair out of your face, "i've watched the way she's looked at you all evening, i noticed the brush of her hand on your thigh and the way you look up at her. i don't mind, y/n, really, i don't."

you knew mary would be on her way to the hotel by now, if not, already there, waiting for your arrival. as much as you wanted to spill your two and a half years worth of secrets to jill, you couldn't bring yourself to do it in this moment.

"then why do you sound so disappointed?"

"i'm not disappointed, i just wish you'd tell me," she ruffled your hair and kissed your cheek, "i'll see you at the buffet for breakfast, and please, for the love of god, stick a do not disturb sign on mary's door."

you slipped into a taxi, and within fifteen minutes you were knocking at mary's hotel room door, and the time it took her to answer the door felt like forever. she swung it open, only so you could see her from the neck up, but you could tell by the angle in which she was standing that she was hiding something.

"took you long enough, love."

"i could say the same for you," you replied, watching mary as her eyes trailed right down to your exposed leg, the slit higher than she remembered, "what're you doing in there?"

she smirked, simply allowing the door to swing open, and when it did your knees almost buckled again. your eyes weren't really sure where to look, it seemed the lace top of her dress was detachable from the long black skirt, and there she stood before you in a lacy bodysuit which made your mind reel.

this was far from the mary you knew, usually with her hair in a messy pony, more often than not, a face with faint green stains of grass, and the familiar smell of either the pitch or the training room, her dominance unrelenting.

although she was in a lacy black bodysuit, the latter statement about her dominance still stayed the same.

"are you just going to stand there gawking, or are you going to come in and let me get my reward?"

you stuttered, struggling to get the words to travel from your brain to your mouth. it was too late for you to answer, though. mary had lost her patience, and she pulled you in and - for lack of a better word - you slammed into the nearest wall.

mary kicked the door and her lips devoured you as if she hadn't kissed you for months, her hands struggling to find a place to rest. your hands settled on resting around her shoulders, your heels giving you just enough of a height boost to be able to stand in that position comfortably, your lips moving together in perfect harmony.

mary's hands found a place to rest on your hips, but she wasted no time in parting the split in your dress and letting her hand explore. a blush crept its way onto your cheeks when she clocked that you weren't wearing underwear.

"oh, sweetheart, really?" she pulled her lips away from yours and gave you that look, the one that accompanied the 'you're not smart, so don't act like it' talk, and you gave her your best innocent eyes, "no underwear, sweetheart, why's that?"

"because you told me not to," your voice was shaking as you spoke, "last week, you told me i couldn't, y-you told me if i did that you wouldn't be very happy."

mary pushed the split in the dress apart and the fresh air touched your cold pussy, sending goosebumps across your skin. it was even worse for you when she knelt down, the heat from her breath juxtaposing the goosebumps and sending your skin into overdrive.

"have i ever told you how pretty of a pussy you have, darling?"

"once or twice," you pushed the hair from her face so it didn't tickle your skin and push the goosebumps further, "but you can tell me again if you - oh."

mary couldn't help herself, her eager tongue needed to taste you. she licked along your slit as you spoke, and reduced your words to a slur of moans. she parted your legs further and scooted closer to your body until you were practically sitting on top of her face, her tongue slipping further and further into your folds.

"i should be the one d-doing this to you, surely," you hummed, hoisting your dress across your hips and allowing her much easier access to your pussy, "you have just won the best award in your career to date."

mary pulled away and you could see her chin glistening with your wetness, causing her makeup to go patchy. her fingers traced the space that her tongue had just been, circling your hole teasingly in only the way she could.

"yes, i have, and you can keep stroking my ego by telling me that again as you take off your dress," she raised an eyebrow, halting the movements of her finger until you did as she asked, "but, your pussy is my reward and i expect to get as much of a reward as possible this evening, do i make myself clear?"

"y-yes," you nodded, allowing your dress to slip straight down your frame until it pooled at your ankles, showing your naked frame to the woman kneeling before you, "i understand."

mary's finger slipped inside of you, albeit ridiculously slow and with nowhere near enough friction to make you cum, but it felt great nonetheless.

"you're such a good little girl for me, aren't you, y/n?" she asked, stretching you out with another finger and curling her fingers in an excruciatingly slow come hither motion, "leaving the afterparty like i asked you to, following me back to my hotel room so i could look at this pretty pussy and hear those innocent little moans all night," she kissed your clit softly and it sent a fluttery feeling scattering through your stomach, "anyone would think you love me, darling."

you opened your mouth to speak, and right as a word began do leave it, mary added a third finger. the stretch was painful, but delicious at the same time and you bunched a hand in her hair, fighting all your urges to cum all over her fingers. she smirked, "cat got your tongue, sweetie?"

"oh, fuck," you hissed, "fuck mary your fingers feel unbelievable."

"that's not what i was looking for you to say, angel, but i'll take it."

she smirked again, this time her lips pursing around your clit and causing a long, breathy moan to tumble from your mouth. the feeling bubbling away in your stomach grew with each flick of her tongue, each curl of her fingers, and it left you a wriggling mess.

you knew what she was waiting for you to say, her body was practically fizzing with the anticipation of hearing you tell her you loved her. it was her new favourite sound of yours to get off to, and she had plenty; but something about your voice was so soft, so subtle.

neither of you ever anticipated it would turn into this, loving each other, you weren't even sure how to love somebody. you both thought that hiding the relationship would be much harder, but it was significantly easier than you realised, less pressure, less worry. and mary didn't ever want you to stop saying it.

"you know you're not allowed to cum until you say it, darling, so you might as well get it over with."

"i love you, mary," every single time you said it, the words slipped out of your mouth easier than any other words ever did, and you hated how much it affected you both. "i love you, now, please - f-fuck - make me cum."

the smirk on mary's lips was unfathomable, and her fingers stretched you out deliciously as she continued to fuck you with them, desperate to stretch you out so she could slide her cock inside you. she stood up, her free hand wrapping itself around your neck instinctively, temporarily halting the bloodflow to your lungs as she squeezed in rhythm to her thrusting fingers.

"you really wanna cum that badly, huh?" she asked, lips scraping your ear with every word, "said you loved me twice in one sentence."

you were unsure whether mary was in a mood nice enough to let you cum now, and while you craved it desperately, you were there for her pleasure this evening, not the other way around.

"god, m-mary, please just let me cum, p-please," you choked, "i-i know you're gonna want my pussy nice 'nd wet, so p-please let me cum."

the noise mary made was akin to a growl, and she sped up the movement of her fingers, moving the angle so her thumb was rubbing your clit frantically. your legs threatened to buckle and you locked your hands around mary's neck, a moan tumbling from your mouth as a trail of her spit lingered on your bottom lip.

"god, not so fuckin' innocent now, are you? can't believe i found myself such a naughty little girl," her teeth nipped at your earlobe and she noticed the bead of sweat trickling down your forehead. "are you going to stand there moaning or are you going to cum for me, little one?"

the use of your favourite petname sent your head spiralling, and with that, your legs shook and your entire core tensed as your orgasm peaked. mary's name fell from your lips and she couldn't help but groan as your wetness flooded her fingers, trickling down her knuckles and the palm of her hand, and the sound of your release was music to her ears.

as mary pulled her fingers out of you, she gave you time to breathe, despite the look of disapproval on your face now that you weren't full. you watched her tongue slide across the skin of her palm and it made you feel dizzy.

"look at those little puppy eyes, my love," she held her fingers out in front of your mouth and let you suck them clean, "how could i ever say no to that face?"

your eyelids fluttered as you tasted yourself on mary's fingers, and when you licked them clean they pulled out of your mouth with a pop. she slipped her arms out of her bodysuit and you watched with eager, desperate eyes as it fell down her hips and to the floor. your eyes almost bulged out of your head at the sight of mary naked, it never felt real.

"what do you want, sweetheart?"

"hmm?"

"i know that look, it's the look you give me when you want to ask a question," she gave you the smirk again, "so, ask me the question."

"i, uh," you straightened yourself up, "i thought as your reward you could let me ride you."

mary leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, "oh, my darling girl, you can't ever be without my dick inside you, can you?"

you shook your head sheepishly, and mary said nothing as she walked to the bed around the corner of the room. there, on the corner of the bed, lay mary's favourite toys. a strap and its harness, lube and her grind pad, which was a lifesaver when she fucked you. it meant she could feel every sensation, and cum when you did.

"why don't you get my pussy nice 'n wet, darling, hm?" she tucked a curl of hair behind your ear, "and then we'll think about letting you ride my cock, okay?"

nodding, you sunk to your knees and steadied yourself between her legs. she was already preparing the strap harness, fiddling with the grind pad and waiting in anticipation for you to taste her.

she shivered when your tongue made contact with her clit, allowing herself to soak up the feeling by pausing her movements and letting a hand rest on your head.

you did exactly as you were told, getting her pussy nice and wet by smearing your spit all across her clit. she pulled you off, your enjoyment of eating her out short lived, but mary knew if she let you carry on a minute longer she would cave to her instincts and let you eat her.

"if i don't fuck you within the next five minutes, i think i'm going to die," mary hummed, "so please, my love, wait patiently for my cock."

as you sat and waited, you reached down to take off your stiletto's, but mary stopped you.

"don't you dare," she stood up, tightening the loops on her harness and leaning down, "you know how much i love fucking you in heels."

she sat back down on the bed, pulling you down - not completely, just so you were leaning over her frame with your hands on her thighs - and pulling you in for a kiss. it was hot, searing, and your hand instinctively pumped at the lube until you got enough to stroke the strap up and down, soaking it in the liquid so your descent would be easier.

mary groaned as if she could feel the friction through the strap-on, and it made you whimper.

"do you want me to face front or back?" you asked, pulling away for air. the answer was clear when mary's hand came down hard on your arse, the sting brutal but desperately needed. she rubbed the spot she slapped before repeating the action sequence multiple times.

"as much as i love looking at your pretty face, and that insane rack," mary chuckled, "you know i'm an arse girl, love."

you hummed, shifting your body and allowing her to get into position on her back. a whimper left your mouth when you saw her pumping the cock with her hand. she patted her upper thighs, a silent signal for you to lower yourself down, and as you got into a comfortable position, you threw your head over your shoulder and gripped the base of her cock with one hand.

the noises you made as you sunk yourself down on her cock were like music to mary's ears. the grind pad gave her the perfect friction, and as she grunted while you rocked to get comfortable, it felt as if the whole notion of you riding her dick were real.

"c'mon love," she pinched your hip, "don't have all night to waste rockin' back and forth on my cock, you know what i wanna see you doing."

"mhm," you slowly began to pull your hips up from the base of her cock, "yes daddy."

your reply earned you a slap to the bum as you sunk back down, and a sharp moan left your lips. "say it again, love, just once."

"y-yes, daddy."

slap.

"one more time," she stroked the reddening cheek with the palm of her hand, "for daddy's sake."

"yes, daddy."

slap.

mary let out a deep grunt, throwing her head back as you began to bounce up and down to a solidified rhythm, your knees already beginning to ache but this was your reward for mary, and she was not going to take over unless you collapsed from an orgasm; but with her grind pad in use, it was only a matter of time until mary's orgasm crept up on her anyway.

with every bounce of your hips, the pad stroked at mary's clit with a perfect amount of pressure, and a perfect angle, that everytime you pulled up she would whimper, or draw a sigh of relief that her orgasm hadn't hit her yet.

"fuckin' hell, love," she slapped the other cheek this time, "you really do have the most perfect arse, don't you?"

she couldn't help herself, her fingernails digging into the skin of your hips as she began to raise her own off of the bed, fucking up into you and watching your arse ripple with each thrust of her hips. your moans grew louder, unable to control your noise as you gripped onto mary's ankles.

she bent her legs at the knee to help take the weight off of your legs, allowing you to rest on her thighs a bit more. the change in angle of mary's legs changed the deepness of her cock, and it was so deep inside you now it almost made you feel sick.

she reached her hand around your waist so her fingertips brushed your stomach, "can you feel my cock in your stomach, baby? hm?" she waited for you to nod, and her fingers lowered to your clit, "want you to make yourself cum all over my cock, darlin', can you do that for me?"

"not gonna last much longer, mary?" you questioned with the little sarcasm you had left in you. a loud smack echoed the bedroom, and you immediately regretted your question.

"say something stupid like that again and you won't cum at all tonight," she pinched your stinging bum, "understood?"

"yes, mary."

she sat herself up now, so your back was pressed flush against her stomach, and instinctively you wrapped your arms around her neck. the angle of her legs changed again, spread out ever so slightly on the bed so she could hold her balance within her core.

with this angle, mary's fingers were able to pinch at your nipples, and you were so caught up in the feeling of rocking back and forth, and the sound of mary's moaning that you completely forgot you were supposed to be rubbing your clit.

"don't see much going on with your fingers, love," she teased, "please don't make me pull out of this tight little cunt now, and just do as i say, hm?"

you nodded, your index and middle fingers immediately circling the bud of nerves that had you whimpering immediately. mary's lips traced your neck, and without even giving you time to complain, her teeth sunk into the skin and softly nibbled. mary's tongue soothed the burn of her teeth on your neck right as she dragged her fingers under your nipples, making you yearn for an orgasm.

you could tell she was close, her core was beginning to become lose and her legs were beginning to twitch, and your orgasm was on the cusp.

"m-mary-"

"-wait," she breathed, her lips trailing back up to your ear, "wait for me, love, 'nd we'll cum together."

"i-i don't know if i can hold -"

"-you can, and you will," she pinched your nipples, "i'm close, but the longer you talk, the longer this will take."

you nodded, biting down on your lip to fight the urges of begging. a few more rocks of your hips and mary would be toppling over the edge.

"oh, fuck, Y/N," she hissed, "ready to cum all over my cock?"

you nodded aggressively, a feeble 'yes' tumbling from your mouth in a desperate attempt to cum. mary stilled when her orgasm arrived, allowing your hips to do the friction work against her clit, your name falling from her mouth in a desperate groan.

her noises triggered your orgasm, and as much as you tried to ride your way through it, your hips stilled and your fingers on your clit carried you the rest of the way through. you didn't even clock that mary had moved her hands to your hips so she could steady you, and her lips kissed soft lines along your shoulders.

"i'm never going to get over that sound," she said, her hands moving from your hips to around your waist, hugging your body close to her, "i can't believe you're mine."

you managed to wriggle from her grip and lay down against the pillows, with mary following suite. her body cocooned you from the cold air, and her hands resumed their position across your waist.

"i can't believe you're mine," you repeated her words, and turned your neck to the side so you could kiss her nose, "but, i, uh, i think jill knows about us."

the look on mary's face didn't change. in fact, she was relieved she didn't have to hide you anymore. she wanted to show you off, and she was thankful it was almost out in the open now.

"i don't care," she hummed, "maybe it's a good idea for us to get it out in the open now, we've been doing it long enough."

"i like that idea," you spun your whole body around in her embrace at this point, and the smile on your face told her all she needed to know. "i'm so proud of you, maz, nobody deserved to win tonight more than you, i love you."

a heartwarming smile came to mary's face, and you relished in the way you still made her cheeks blush.

"i love you too, darling," she kissed your nose and nuzzled her head into your neck.

"now please, lets get under the covers because i'm freezing my tits off."

[leilanihours]

🗝️22 with nika 🫶🏻

# THIS LOVE CAME BACK TO ME

pairing: nika muhl x reader

word count: 675

warnings: paige being a salty third wheel lmao

prompt: "i missed you"

⭑ from lani: promised yall i would still post the celly reqs so here we go td is dedicated to that ! - also not proofread..

celly masterlist !

main masterlist !

“SHE DOESN’T SUSPECT anything, right?” you ask paige for what seems like the billionth time.

“y/n, ima give you the same answer i gave you two hours ago: no, she doesn’t suspect anything,” paige rolls her eyes playfully.

“sorry,” you apologize as you grab your suitcase from the conveyor belt in front of you, “i just really want this to go perfectly.”

“dude,” she says, “it will. she won’t admit it to the public but nika is a hopeless romantic, she’ll love literally anything you do because you’re you.”

you laugh at paige’s exhausted tone as she tries to comfort you, “sounds like someone’s not very excited to be an honorary third wheel this week.”

“hell no i’m not excited,” she agrees with a dramatic shake of her head as you both begin making your way to the front of the airport, “y’all got me fucked up with your corny ass shit.”

“please,” you scoff, “you’re just mad azzi couldn’t make it here.”

“and what about it?”

you each laugh as you approach the sliding doors leading to the pick-up and drop-off area. paige specifically asked nika to pick her up there rather than at the gate so you could mentally prepare yourself (per your request). 

“alright she just texted me saying she’s two minutes away,” paige reads from her phone, “you ready?”

you nod happily before not-so-sneakily hiding behind the pillar paige is standing next to. you lean against the concrete pole, smiling to yourself at the thought of finally getting to see your girlfriend.

two minutes goes by quickly, and you hear nika squeal, presumably at the sight of paige.

“my twin!!” you hear her familiar voice cheer.

“what’s good, nika?” paige replies as she goes to hug the brunette.

“was the flight okay? did you end up sitting next to some stranger?”

“yeah, the girl that was sitting next to me was actually a huge fan of you, she could not stop blabbing about seeing you today,” paige lies playfully.

“who-“ 

“okay first of all, rude,” you say to paige as you reveal yourself, “second of all, hi, baby,” you grin at your girlfriend.

“no fucking way,” nika laughs as she immediately pulls you into her arms, “what are you doing here? i thought you had summer classes??”

“do you really think i would pass up a chance to see my favorite girl and annoy the shit out of paige?” you mumble into her shirt as you nuzzle your face into her shoulder.

the girl’s grip on you was almost bone-crushing, you could feel it in the way her hands found their way under the hem of your sweater, brushing against your soft skin in delicate circles. she placed light kisses on your hair repeatedly, as if she was trying to confirm that you were there.

“i missed you so much,” she whispers into your hair.

“i can tell,” you joke, causing her to lift you from her embrace to deadpan at you, “i missed you too, nik.”

“yeah that’s what i thought,” she nods, pulling you back in for another hug.

it feels like the two of you were entangled for hours, and paige felt the same way with how she was awkwardly standing to the side waiting.

“uh..” she interjects, “not to be rude but we got two king-size beds waiting for us at the hotel and i’m hella jetlagged so let’s wrap it up here, yeah?”

you groan at the blonde’s comment before pulling yourself out of nika’s grasp, but lacing your fingers with hers as you let her guide the group to her car.

you begin chatting endlessly about various things that have happened in the past few days, feeling joyous to be able to talk face-to-face with your girlfriend. nika listens intently, savoring the pure sound of your voice that she had missed so dearly. 

sure, you guys facetimed every day, but nothing compared to being able to converse from within the comfort of each other’s physical presence. nothing compared to being with each other, period.

—   leilani  signing  off  !  📁

[piftamere]

part twenty-three - something stupid (wc : 0.4k)

“what do you want to eat?” maki asks you, as you both stand in front of the colorful food stall.

“um let me think,” you reply, tapping your chin while examining your options as if you were making a life-threatening decision, “how about candied strawberries?” you finally suggest, your face lighting up.

maki seems to ponder for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly before a small smile appears onto her face,“yeah, that sounds good.”

you hand over the money to the vendor and receive two sticks of shiny, ruby-red candied strawberries.

“i don’t think we’re gonna have a good view of the fireworks from here.” you say as you inspect your surroundings, sounding a little disappointed.

she looks around and then back at you with a determined expression. “let’s look for a better spot then, hurry they’re gonna start soon,” she grabs your hand firmly, “i won’t loose you this time.” threading her fingers through yours and leading you into the crowd.

you trail behind her, focused on trying not to stumble as you match her pace, though the feeling of her warm skin on yours is a little distracting.

finally, you find a perfect spot with a clear view of the sky. settling down on the grass next to her, still holding hands.

“i’m glad you and megumi are cousins” you mutter matter-of-factly, as you hand maki her candied strawberries.

she looks at you with a puzzled smile. “that’s a bit random, but ok.”

you chuckle, “i meant that i’m happy you and megumi are cousins because that way i got to know you. i’m really glad i met you.”

her face softens as she gazes into your eyes. “i’m really glad i met you too.”

you sit in silence before maki speaks up hesitantly. “can i confess something?”

“sure go ahead” you turn to her, your curiosity peaked.

“i never really liked strawberries…” she admits, barely above a whisper.

you stare at her, then at the strawberries in your hands. “why didn’t you say so?? i would’ve bought something else! or we could’ve eaten different things!!”

she looks down at the snack, a small smile on her lips. “you seemed so excited, and i wanted to share with you… turns out strawberries aren’t as bad as i remembered them to be.”

you bump your shoulder into hers, laughing lightly “you’ve gotten soft maki.”

she bumps you back, but she doesn’t move away, instead resting her head on your shoulder and sighing contentedly as the first fireworks light up the sky. “i guess i have.”

[tl:dr : you buy snacks, run through a crowd to get to a spot with a better view while holding hands, and watch the fireworks]

fun facts

maki and y/n rented their yukatas after spending all afternoon the day before the festival trying different ones on, in the end maki picked y/n's and y/n picked maki's

kugisaki didn't comment on y/n's "possible feelings" since y/n's feeling down but she's taking notes, and pulling her hair out at their stupidity

the song maki mentioned was written by y/n alone about how confused she's been feeling lately, especially because of her feelings and relationships

author's note

megumi needs to grow up fr

can you tell i like holding hands? i feel like i always end up incorporating it lol

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ tugging on heartstrings ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

as an aspiring solo artist, you dream of making it big in the music industry. With your talent and unwavering determination, you find yourself entangled in a web of romantic pursuits amidst rumors and betrayal. Will you emerge unscathed and manage to navigate your love life in the chaos of fame?

Part twenty-three - Next

rbs and interactions are highly appreciated <3

taglist : closed :) to be added leave a comment on the masterlist of the smau

@lysaray @swissy23 @d6za1 @minzxec @sleepy-waffle @saturn-alone @dreamxiing @selysixn @reiluvr @lavender-hvze @mellozhi @cre8inghavoc @ichorstainedskin @inosfavgf @k4sss133 @taelattecookie @cheese-enjoyer9471 @wateronlyhaha @sonicsolos @bkgs-girl @colortheoryrocks @kinkybandages @woahguy278 @cuteandohsodeadly @weewooooweew @peqch-pie @myguumi @r0ckst4rjk @jun1p3rlol @juliiizh @seikamuzu @theweirdfloatything @h3xi2g0n3 @xbarrjallenx @0range-juiceee @xenop0p @reagan707 @eyes-ofhell @fyodorisbbg @theresmeaninginthat @emlient @danhengswifey @cherrypieyourface @bitchycloudstrawberry @ofherchaos @shanye1112 @eusaevi @fuyuzemi @cupkiki @lvtilzs

if you're name is crossed out i couldn't tag you, if it's not fixed in a week i'll remove you sorry :(

[wileys-russo]

a date to remember II m.earps x reader

kinda love this, kinda hate this? but there is an appaling lack of love and fics for my girl mearps, shes fit as fk and i will take no slander

a date to remember II m.earps

4.17K words

mary's eyes slowly fluttered open as the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted around the bedroom. with a stretch and a grunt the woman swung herself out of bed, quickly noticing you were no longer soundly asleep beside her, your side of the bed cold where your body had once laid entangled with her own.

stepping into her slippers the brunette quietly padded downstairs, blinking tiredly and wrapping her arms around herself at the chilly autumn morning. she wasn't sure what the time actually was but it had to be early given the bitter frost speckled across the windows of her manchester flat.

her nose guiding her she made a beeline right for the kitchen, craving a coffee to try and kick start her out of her half asleep state. rounding the corner the keeper paused in the doorway of the kitchen, admiring for a moment as you stood at the stove facing away from her. 

her last name stretched across your shoulder blades you'd as usual worn an old jersey of hers to bed, the sleeves a few inches too long you'd now rolled them up to your elbows, always careful not to damage your girlfriends kits when she let you wear them when you stole them.

seeing you wearing her last name had always done something to mary even when the two of you were only friends and you'd come to her games to cheer her on, cheekily buying an earps jersey before the game without telling her.

she was both flattered and impressed at the sneaky surprise as she'd spotted you sat with the rest of her friends and family, and for mary that was the beginning of where she'd had the abrupt realization that she didn't care for you as simply just a friend.

but fast forward to now seeing you wander around the kitchen with earps spread proudly across your back only made her mind drift to the ring that sat hidden in her kit bag, the one place she knew you'd never go snooping, forever claiming it smelled like damp gloves and sweat you steered well clear, making it the ideal hiding spot.

alessia had gone with her to help to pick the ring out weeks ago, rachel and millie assisted via facetime, and ever since it had felt like everyone had been pestering mary insistently about when she was going to actually use the ring.

there wasn't a single doubt in mary's mind that she wanted you as her wife, that wasn't the cause for her hesitation by any means. entering her thirties now she knew she wanted to settle down and having been head over heels in love with you for years she knew you were her one.

so it wasn't and wouldn't ever be doubt or cold feet which held her up from popping the question.

what it was, was having seen for almost the entirety of knowing you just how much of a hopeless romantic sap you were, forever swooning over love stories in books and movies, rambling wildly about boom boxes and love letters and john hughes films. 

it meant mary wanted you to get your fairy tale ending and for the moment she asked you to be hers forever to be perfect, and so far she unfortunately hadn't been able to seek that out.

"good morning my love." mary was quick to attach herself to you, cold hands creeping up your top craving your body heat as you squealed at the icy invasion. "god your hands are freezing, go put some gloves on or something!" you teased with a smile, turning in her hold and pressing a gentle kiss to the taller woman's lips, murmuring good morning as you pulled away.

"oh she's got goal keeping jokes about gloves how original!" the english keeper rolled her eyes sarcastically with a slow clap before grabbing at you again and fondly leaving sloppy kisses all over your face, you playfully pushing her off with a laugh as she stepped away to make herself a coffee.

"what's cookin good lookin?" the woman asked with a grin, sipping on the hot beverage with a sigh of pleasure already feeling herself begin to wake more as the caffeine started to pump through her veins.

"well I'm having french toast...don't know what you're having." you shrugged, the hints of a cheeky smile tugging at the corner of your mouth as mary hummed and inched closer, backing you into the counter as she placed her hands either side of you, trapping your body against hers.

"so we want to play the mine and yours game, do we?" the keeper tutted as you innocently shrugged. "well if you want to be like that then this is mine, should I take it off you?" mary tugged teasingly at the jersey covering your top half with a smug smile.

"have i ever been one to complain when you've taken my clothes off?" you quipped back smoothly, mary raising an eyebrow somewhat impressed at the quick response. "if you want to be like that then these are mine, shall i take them off?" you mocked, a single finger tracing teasingly along the inside of the waistband of the nike tracksuit pants she wore which did technically belong to you.

"have i ever been one to complain when i've got no pants on round you?" mary grinned leaning in closer, her breath hitching as you teasingly dipped your hand a little lower into her tracksuit bottoms. 

"yes well it was kind of stupid of you to even bother wearing them in the first place." you grinned as she dipped down to kiss you, though no sooner had she captured your lips in hers was the smell of coffee replaced with the smell of something burning.

"shit my toast!" you realized and shoved her off, darting back towards the stove and moving the pan away, staring sadly down at your now blackened breakfast. "would it help if i said i actually wasn't in the mood for french toast?" mary tried as her eyes met yours over the top of her coffee mug, the woman sipping on the last dregs of her coffee and sending you a guilty smile.

"this happens all the time mary you're the worst distraction! get out of my kitchen." you ordered sternly, a wooden spoon poking your girlfriend firmly in the chest in warning as she attempted to step forward and wrap you in a hug. "hey! that's gonna bruise." the keeper pouted rubbing at her sternum as you rolled your eyes, shooing her away and grabbing the ingredients out to make a new batch.

~

"mary you're gonna be late if you don't shift it like right now!" you shouted out in warning, sighing and tapping your foot impatiently, head thudding softly against the front door as you twirled the keys in your hand. 

"you know if i didn't know any better i'd think you were rushing me out of here so you get the place all to yourself." your girlfriend finally appeared, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

"yeah i am, cause my other girlfriends coming over for dinner." you grinned, grabbing your girlfriends suitcase for her as she slung her kit bag over her free shoulder. "watch it, cheeky." the taller woman pulled you into a searing kiss before you ran her through her usual checklist, mary confirming she had everything as you both stepped outside.

"you wish!" mary snatched the keys from your hands after she'd loaded her bags into the back, the two of you headed off to st georges park so you could drop her off for camp for the euros. 

"wasn't the entire point of this for me to drop you off? why can't i drive i'll be driving home anyway!" you reached for the keys as the taller woman held them easily out of your reach, something which infuriated you to no end. your girlfriend was forever finding it funny to put things away just out of your reach and watch you struggle, giving you no choice but to play right into her ego and have to ask her to get them for you.

"i'm gonna miss you so much baby, but i'll make sure you're well taken care of." mary murmured with a soft smile and your frown melted away. until you realised she was talking to her car and  you punched her in the arm with an annoyed huff only causing her smile to widen, going as far as to cheekily tap you on the bum as you booked it around her to the passenger door.

"acting as if you aren't a self confessed passenger princess baby. now stop frowning or you'll get wrinkles." mary teased, leaning over the console to press a few kisses to your cheek as you rolled your eyes, biting your lip to stop the smile which was fighting hard to consume your face.

"can you text tooney and less for me please? tell them we'll be there in ten." mary asked, slinging an arm across the back of your chair and turning to watch over her shoulder as she reversed out of the driveway, a simple action you found wildly attractive.

moments later after much bickering back and forth and a few games of luggage tetris to fit everything in, you'd picked up the two younger girls and the four of you were headed off toward st georges park. "what are you gonna do without us now? you'll be bored out of your mind." ella grinned, leaning forward and draping her arms around you, poking at your cheeks as you smacked her hands away.

"i'm going to catch up on sleep and every single show and movie i missed out on seeing from spending all my free time babysitting the two of you!" you shot back with a smirk, the blonde and brunette gasping at the accusation as mary let out a loud belt of laughter. 

"babysitting?!" alessia scoffed, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest. "yes i feel like a mother of two at twenty eight, i will miss my little babies, off to their first home euros!" you cried dramatically, wiping away some fake tears as ella leant forward again and sharply pinched you for the comment.

"ow tooney!" you stretched back and tried to slap her as alessia blocked the shot, the two of them teaming up against you, ella flicking repeatedly at your ear and squeezing your cheeks with mocking words as alessia held your hands in hers, rendering you unable to defend yourself.

"oi cut it out you three, act your ages!" mary yelled sternly over your combined chattering, alessia letting you go as you quickly slapped at her leg with a loud crack and darted back into your seat before she could grab you again, flipping ella off who returned the gesture with a grin.

"i'm the one who babysits!" mary grumbled to herself as you smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek and murmur how much you loved her in her ear, ella and alessia gagging in the back at your words. 

some sing alongs and genuine goodbyes later you were scooped up into a joint bear hug by the younger girls who admittedly you did look at like your own, the two frequently coming to yourself and mary for advice about everything and anything.

promising you'd see them soon and shooing them off you turned toward your girlfriend who was leant against her car, arms crossed and sunglasses on, patiently awaiting your attention. "i love you." you smiled as you wrapped your arms around her, glancing around to make sure there weren't any cameras on the two of you and craning your neck so your lips met with hers.

the two of you were out to the public, mary having thrown herself at you for many victorious kisses after matches won and you were forever dragged against your will into her tiktoks, but neither of you were overly fussed about having the more intimate moments of your relationship broadcast on a huge public platform like the lionesses social media.

you'd both already said your proper goodbyes last night over a very lovely dinner together, with tears shed between tender kisses and sweet words of affirmation afterwards as you lay wrapped up together in the comfort of your bedroom. 

mary leaving for camp wasn't anything new, and you would be at every single match with her family cheering for her loudly and proudly, so it wasn't really a moment that needed a goodbye, more of a see you soon.

"you're the best in the business baby, don't you dare ever doubt it." your hands landed on the brunettes cheeks, thumbs gently tracing the curve of her lips as she nodded, sweetly kissing the pad of your finger. "how could i with you in my corner forever reminding me? i'd be lost without you." mary smiled, swallowing back the tears which threatened to fall.

the keeper was always overcome with emotions when she thought back to the countless nights you'd spent sat on the floor with her as she'd cried her heart out, yelling about how she was going to quit because she was spent, having thought she'd gave football her all and just not been good enough.

as much as you assured her it wasn't the case she knew she owed you a great debt, she could hardly be the most reasonable or kind person when in that sort of head space, having lashed out and taken her emotions out on you when under pressure more times than she could count. but having known her long before anything turned romantic you knew exactly the response she needed from you each time. you were the anchor of mary's life, forever a steady point to call home she knew would keep her grounded for the rest of her life.

which is exactly the reason she knew she wanted to marry you, heart yearning for nothing more than to be there for you even half as much as you were there for her, she loved you with every fiber of her being and planned to spend the rest of your shared life together making sure you felt it.

"go away before you make me cry, we promised we wouldn't!" you wiped away a stray tear after she'd whispered into your hair how much you meant to her, stealing one last kiss and snatching the keys from her grasp, playfully shoving her taller form away.

"i'll see you at old trafford." you smiled softly, blowing her a kiss and sliding into the drivers seat of her car, flipping her off as she yelled out to drive carefully. knowing her well enough to know she wouldn't move until you'd driven out of sight you wound down the window and revved the car, only doing it again to drown her out as she told you off, winking with a grin at her look of displeasure at your antics.

and true to her word with another i love you and an air kiss, she stood watching until you'd booked it out around the corner of the driveway, disappearing from sight.

~

"they did it, they really did it." marys mum julie pulled you into a tight hug, whispering in disbelief as the crowd roared, the whistle having sounded to announce englands win over germany.

they'd done it, they'd won the euros.

your girlfriend was a champion of europe and you thought your body might explode with pride, having been on the edge of your seat with every minute passed, the girls putting in the work and the love of your life the unbeatable brick wall you knew she would be.

marys eyes met yours and she beamed, waving her gloved hands at you as you mouthed how much you loved her, signing out MVP with your fingers causing her grin to widen, Leah shoving her and making a few teasing comments in her ear where she watched on beside her.

having been given their medals and lifting the trophy, a few power slides through confetti and crashed interviews later, mary found herself finally alone with her team, dancing around the solitude of the change rooms as her ears rang with the thundering boom of their chants of victory.

slipping her gloves into her bag so she was able to hold her drink a little easier, marys eyes dropped to see the small velvet box tucked into her slides. grabbing it and sitting down on the bench she ran her fingers over your initials she'd had placed atop the box, a million thoughts racing through her head, only snapped back into reality as a hand landed on her shoulder.

"you alright mate?" leah asked, slightly concerned for her friend who seemed to have mentally checked out of their celebrations. "i think its time." mary answered, opening her hand and showing the box clasped tightly in her grasp as leahs eyes widened. "yeah?" the captain squeezed her shoulders tighter as mary nodded, every single shred of doubt disappearing as your face beaming with pride flashed through her mind.

"yeah, its time."

with a nod mary was quick to stand, sprinting out of the change rooms and ignoring her team mates confused calls after her, dodging and weaving through staff and family members who littered the tunnel, sending appreciative smiles to the compliments thrown her way but not stopping.

only as her feet hit the pitch did eventually her eyes find you, sat down on the edge of the barrier beside her brother and laughing at something ella's dad had said, quite close with all of the families of her united team mates.

she heard someone behind her call for her attention but she had other priorities right now as she made a beeline for you, only stopping to hug her family, unable to deny them her attention as her mum wrapped her in a tight hug.

whispering in her ear what she was about to do julie's head snapped back and she looked at her daughter first in shock, then her features softened and her eyes welled up with tears of joy, nodding wordlessly and stepping away, grabbing at mary's father and brother to stop them interrupting.

"mary!" you laughed as your girlfriend was quick to take your hand, uttering a hasty apology to those who had you engaged in conversation and tugging you away, ignoring your protests as she dragged you down the tunnel, only letting go of your hand once she'd pulled you into the kit room.

"okay i love you and i am so so fucking proud of you, but i don't think victory sex in a closet is really-" you started as mary rolled her eyes, cutting you off with a quick kiss and placing a finger to your lips, silencing you.

you opened your mouth to continue once she'd stepped back but your throat dried up and the words died as the keeper got down on one knee, eyes widening you froze, feet rooted in place as mary took a deep breath.

"my love. i cannot even begin to express how much you mean to me, or even imagine how to put into words how much you've changed my life. not only do you make me a better person every single day, but you make me want to be a better person, for you, because you only deserve the best. i wouldn't be here today without you, without you picking me up off the kitchen floor and wiping my tears, assuring me over and over that i wasn't done and that i couldn't give up yet." mary paused and looked up to the roof, swallowing her tears and clearing her throat as your hands moved to your face, covering your mouth in shock.

"you give me purpose and drive and motivation to want to do better, because you believed in me that i could be better and have spent every moment since making sure i know i am better. there isn't a single moment in life when i'm with you that i wish i was anywhere else, every second spent by your side or in your thoughts is a blessing and i promise to never ever take you, your love and your unwavering support for granted. i am far from perfect but as both a friend and a partner you've never expected me to be. you're the grounding point in my life and i know that with you in my corner i'll never need to feel lost again." mary paused again to pull the small velvet box from her sock as you choked back a combined sob and a laugh at the hiding place, wondering how you'd not noticed it before.

"there's so much more i could say about how much i love and adore you and all of the little things that make you you, but if you do me the honour of saying yes then i vow to spend the rest of our lives making sure you feel it. so, will you marry me?" mary finished, stomach knotted tightly with nerves the keeper felt both like she could pass out or throw up at any given time, the adrenaline of her spontaneous decision now starting to wear off as reality set in.

"are you sure you want to ask me today? today should be about you and your achievements, because i know you're fucking brilliant but you deserve a day to yourself and for yourself that commemorates that." you bit down on your lip and mary's heart practically burst out of her chest that of all the concerns you could have right now it was simply that she felt assured and celebrated.

"i've never been more sure of anything. i'll already remember today for the rest of my life and i want nothing more than to share that with you, if you'll let me." mary promised with a firm nod, popping open the box as your eyes somehow widened more at the ring, it was perfect.

"yes." you agreed instantly, mary looking at you both in shock and admiration. "yes?" she asked to confirm and you nodded, practically tackling her onto the ground in a hug. "yes!" you laughed, tears now streaming down both of your faces as your lips met hers, the kiss nothing short of euphoric as with shaky hands mary slid the ring onto your finger.

"oh my god mary!" you scrambled to grip onto the back of her jersey as she practically threw you over her shoulder, barreling out of the kit room and charging into the change rooms, leah cutting off the music as soon as she spotted her.

"SHE SAID YES!" mary boomed with a cheer, her team mates swarming the two of you as you held up your hand, eyes still welling up with tears as congratulations poured down on you. "oh god thats lovely, what good taste in rings you've got mary!" rachel teased as millie grabbed your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"is this why you were making me try your rings on!?" you smacked at alessias shoulder with a laugh as mary finally let you down, pulled to the floor and dog piled on by half her team as the younger blonde yanked you into a very tight hug.

"yeah tooney and i really didn't think that would work but you didn't question it." alessia grinned and you didn't have a moment to respond before a body barreled into you, ella taking you down to the ground in a tight hug as mary was quick to push her team mates off, checking if you were okay and breathing a small sigh of relief when you let out a laugh and shoved her off you.

after many more congratulations you left the team to continue to celebrate their win not wanting to take away from a moment they had well and truly earned. stepping around the back to the bathrooms where no one was, pausing for a moment and sinking down against the wall, eyes scrunched tightly closed.

taking a deep breath you looked down to the ring on your hand, covering your mouth again in shock as you let out a strangled sound which was half laugh half sob, your now fiance rounding the corner in a desperate search to find you.

"there you are, thought you got cold feet and ran off." she teased, dropping down beside you and grabbing your ring clad hand, pressing a gentle kiss to the warm skin as you swooned. "it's no boom box on a lawn mower in the rain like a john huges film, but i promise i'll spend the rest of my life loving you like you deserve." mary whispered in promise and you nodded firmly, too choked up to get your words out.

and true to her word, she did exactly that.

[fiftysevenacademics]

The four main clans each have a distinct style of romantic attachment that somewhat contradicts the way they formally present themselves.

Lan Clan of Gusu: Ethically rigid, morally pure, righteous rule-followers who partner up with morally grey or even bad, slightly unhinged people.

Qinghen-jun: Had two kids with the woman who murdered his teacher, then devoted the rest of his life to keeping her a prisoner in Cloud Recesses. She might have had a serious mental illness.

Lan Xichen: Was doing OK with Nie Mingjue until Jin Guangyao swept him off his feet, and he just HAD to turn it into a messy polycule that gave Jin Guangyao many ways to manipulate him.

Lan Wangji: Alters his entire life trajectory and betrays numerous Lan principles for a chaotic demonic cultivator.

Jin Clan of Lanling: The richest, most prestigious clan has the messiest, most embarrassing and venal romantic liaisons.

Jin Guangshan: Famously can't keep it in his pants.

Jin Zixuan: Has an off-and-on again relationship with Jiang Yanli, breaking her heart before making her happy in the end. He's the least messed up in his family, though.

Jin Guangyao: Even though he genuinely loves Lan Xichen, he uses him to exact revenge on his ex, Nie Mingjue. May have agreed to a three-way relationship just for that purpose. Fell in love with and married his half-sister and had a baby with her even after he knew.

Mo Xuanyu: Expelled from Jin disciple school for sexually harassing men. Real reason was possibly an intimate relationship with Jin Guangyao that went south when he started poking around in the treasure room.

Nie Clan of Qinghe: The ultimate jocks and macho men, Nie men think they're power bottoms when in reality they're being used and bossed around by someone far more devious than they can imagine.

Nie Mingjue: Thinks he can replicate the healthy thing he has going on with Lan Xichen in his relationship with Jin Guangyao but boy, was he ever wrong about that. Nonetheless, he allows himself to be pushed into a polycule that brings him quickly to his doom.

Nie Huaisang: OK, I gotta hand it to Nie Huaisang. He's a power bottom, just like it says on the label. We never see him in any romantic relationships but he knows how to cry, faint, and complain in a way that makes everyone fall neatly in line with his plans.

Jiang Clan of Yunmeng: Like their motto, "attempt the impossible," the Jiangs fall for people who are unattainable or out of their league.

Jiang Fengmian: His one true love, Cangse Sanren, was a more powerful cultivator who chose a servant over him and left. Married a woman from a richer, higher status family and has a rocky marriage as a result.

Jiang Yanli: A sweet, simple girl in love with a vain, proud man who doesn't think she's beautiful or talented enough for him. Somehow it works out in her favor, though.

Wei Wuxian: Literally attempts the impossible, can't follow a single rule, but falls head over heels for the jianghu's gold medalist in rule-following, Lan Wangji. This ends tragically and is only redeemed when he's resurrected with a little more humility and respect for the social order (just a little, though).

Jiang Cheng: In MDZS canon, Jiang Cheng has no romantic entanglements or even friendships outside of his family. He might be aromantic or maybe his parents' toxic relationship has made him want to never partner up. In Untamed canon, he follows the family pattern and crushes on a member of the very clan that murdered his parents.

[words-and-threads]

I actually love how Harrow and Gideon's...whole thing doesn't feel necessarily romantic, at least as of the first book and the beginning of the second. It's not necessarily platonic either, but it's nothing like Gideon's girl-crazy crushes or Harrow's worshipful longing.

It's bigger and deeper and older and more complicated than a mere romance. These two grew up together, were each other's only peer, friend, rival. The only other person who Gets It. Even if they were completely romantically incompatible they'd still be entangled.

It feels (and don't get weird about this) like family, a bond that no breakup could change because they have already shaped each other in fundamental ways. They know too much and are too known to ever feel fully safe from each other. They don't have to love or even like each other any more than two stars orbiting each other do.

It doesn't matter if by the end if the story they're sisters, lovers, partners, enemies, co-conspirators. It doesn't matter if they part ways and never see each other again. They will never truly escape each other.

Calling all THAT a love story seems woefully inadequate. It's certainly a story with love in it...along with every other human emotion.

I just think it's neat.

[starbylers]

Nothing is more headache-inducing than when people say ‘Give me a single piece of evidence that Mike likes Will romantically’ because you just know what they’re looking for is simple, easily summed up and understood statements like overt flirting and obvious verbal hints etc. But this is a friends—best friends—to lovers story. Set in a completely different time period. It’s obviously going to be more nuanced than that?

The other couples on this show did not start from the same basis as Byler. Byler have been best friends since they were tiny. They’re also both boys. It’s also the 80s. Lumax, Jancy and Jopper were pretty much obviously romantically entangled from the minute their stories intertwined. (They are friends to lovers, yes, but the platonic side of their relationships was not hugely explored before their romantic interest became obvious, although they were still all friends before dating/kissing which is why they work). They are also all heterosexual couples.

Is it not obvious that Byler is probably going to look a little different in terms of its build up? Is it not obvious that it’s not as simple as ‘Mike likes Will and is 100% aware of it and cool with it and therefore treats him exactly as he would a girl he fancies’? Can people not consider context such as hmm if Byler was going to happen as they say, that means Mike would like boys, in the 80s, which would probably be a pretty difficult thing to navigate and come to terms with so maybe his feelings for Will aren’t going to be as in your face and overtly romantic as I might expect from the other pairings. And is it also not obvious that given M*leven is a canon couple, Byler happening would have to be intended as a plot twist, a twist which would be redundant if they gave obvious hints that Mike is in love?

But even keeping that in mind, Jancy, Lumax and Jopper have behaved in very similar ways to how Mike and Will have consistently done aka intimate heart to hearts, confiding in each other about their problems and fears, really emotional scenes that build the bond between them. And even aside from those glaring similarities that go right over peoples heads:

Mike confides in Will in a way he just doesn’t with El, there’s a deep sense of trust there

Mike pays extremely close attention and takes care of Will hinted in s1 and shoved in our faces in s2, a desire to protect that rises way above the rest of their friends

He treats Will with miles more maturity and compassion than he does El in s4, and is in fact made to look and feel really happy by Will’s literal (disguised) feelings in the van

And those are just a few examples of how strong and close their bond is on Mike’s end. People just brush this stuff off as platonic because well, yeah…they are friends. But it’s friends to lovers!! And a slowburn plot twist at that! Their relationship for the entire show builds the foundation for a realisation that the perfect person has been right in front of him the whole time! We might not see Mike giving Will apologetic M&Ms or calling him pretty, but what we do see over and over is how the two of them work really well together, as a team. A million times better than Mike does with his own girlfriend.

The only real difference with Byler and the other couples is that the obvious romantic vibes for those couples began way early on. Because they could. Because there was nothing really preventing them from realising and acting on their feelings other than ‘we’re attracted to each other but oh I’m dating someone else or oh we’re scared to take that next step’. When it comes to Byler, Mike and Will and Mike specifically have much bigger barriers to contend with. Mike may not understand what he feels for Will is actually love. Mike may not even realise he likes boys, he’s had a gf this whole time after all. Mike may be really scared to even subtly act on his feelings if he is aware. And these people expect Mike to be smiling all lovesick at Will, staring into his eyes, saying romantically coded things? (The biggest joke of all is of course that these things actually have happened but when they do? It’s oh they’re just good friends stop being delusional!!)

Byler is just a very complex and nuanced relationship, you can’t take the same approach to analysing it as you would M*leven like oh proof Mike likes El? That one scene where he called her pretty. He said he was scared she’d leave him. He said he loved her. It’s very easy to cherry pick and point to these moments, but to understand Byler you have to look at the bigger picture and not everyone’s willing to take the time to do that I guess 🤷🏽‍♀️

[redgoldsparks]

November 2023 Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Frankisstein by Jeanette Winterson read by John Sackville and Perdita Weeks

This book has three different story lines, one of which is much stronger than the other two, which is making it hard for me to figure out how I want to rate the book. The opening story line, and my favorite, is about Mary Shelley during the period in which she wrote Frankenstein. These scenes especially in the audiobook are beautifully read and atmospheric, damp, melancholy, introspective, with engaging characterizations of Byron, Percy Shelley, and the other guests of the house. The second story line is about Ry Shelley, a trans doctor living in post-Brexit Britain who becomes entangled romantically and criminally with Victor Stein, a researcher focused on AI, cryogenic preservation and reanimation, and training robots to detect human diseases. Ry is fairly genderfluid, and is often described as both a man and a woman, or a boy who is a girl who is a boy. I appreciated having a trans POV character in this book, but wished Ry had more of his own ambitions and plot- he seemed to exist primarily to have conversations and sex with Victor, who insisted over and over that he wasn't gay even after falling for and sleeping with Ry. Ry also interviews and then is repeatedly misgendered by Ron Lord, a Welsh entrepreneur in the sex robot industry- there is a lot in this book about sex bots, including huge chunks of uninterrupted dialogue by Ron Lord that got fairly repetitive in audio. Ry is also the victim of a bathroom sexual assault near the end of the book that felt thematically unnecessary and punishing. I can imagine a different version of this book where Ry was the one conducting the research that Victor does in this book, and his love interest is a modern version of Percy, which might have interested me more. There's also a third partial story line about Mary Shelley meeting a man named Victor Frankenstein who claims to be the character from her book; these didn't add anything for me. Would I recommend this? Hard to say. It's a complicated queer remix of Frankenstein and I was engaged while listening to the majority of it but there were also pieces that fell short of my expectations.

The Hills of Estrella Roja by Ashley Robin Franklin 

High school senior Mari is woken from a nightmare about voices calling to her from a pit in a cave to learn that her grandmother is dead. Mari, her mom, and her little sister drive back to Estrella Roja, their small mysterious Texas hometown. Meanwhile, Kat, a college freshman who runs a podcast about the paranormal with her best friend, receives an anonymous email tip about the "devil lights" of Estrella Roja and decides to solo road trip to investigate it over her spring break. Kat can't find anyone in town willing to to talk to her... except Mari, who is both sad and bored, and can't seem to connect with any of her close-mouthed relatives. The two stumble across something in the desert that was spooky enough to make me wonder if I should be reading the book before bedtime. This story weaves a queer meet-cute with a dark family history into a very effective YA horror tale. The inking and coloring are absolutely gorgeous. Scary, but not too scary for me, a known scaredy cat!

The Dyslexic Advantage by Brock L Eide and Fernette F Eide 

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has dyslexia, is parenting a young person with dyslexia, works in education at any level or is just in general interested in how differing brain structures effect things such as working memory, 3D visualization, problem solving, and other areas of cognition. I've known I was dyslexic since I was about 8 years old, but I had never picked up a book on the topic. I found this very interesting and very easy to read (its printed in a san-serif font with large page margins, and also short well-structured chapters). It contains many real-life stories of people with dyslexia rising to the very pinnacle of their chosen fields as well as a good section of layperson's neuroscience of brain structure and some of the latest research on memory formation. The authors do an excellent job highlighting how so many of the things that are cast as weaknesses or drawbacks in dyslexic students' early education are often reshaped into strengths later in life. Multiple times the authors emphasized that while dyslexic students should receive extra instruction in reading in early childhood, that they probably won't catch up their peers until later in life, often in high school or beyond and that one of the most important things is never letting the dyslexic student give up on their own ability to learn, thrive, and succeed. Most dyslexics are late bloomers, but as the book says, "time is on your side."

Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross read by Alex Wingfield and Rebecca Norfolk

Set in a kind of fantasy WWI, this story follows Iris, a young woman who had to drop out of high school after her brother enlisted and her only other relative, her mother, fell into depression and alcoholism and lost her job. Iris begins working at a newspaper, vying for a regular columnist position against her office rival, handsome and wealthy Roman Kitt. Iris has a magical typewriter, and she writes letters to her brother regularly, even though she's never received one back from him. She slips these letters under the door of her wardrobe and in the morning they are gone. What she doesn't know is that the letters are making their way into the bedroom of Roman, who also has a magic typewriter. They begin a correspondence and a budding friendship. But a series of misfortunes befall Iris and she decides to enlist at the front as a wartime journalist. Will Roman follow the woman he's beginning to fall for? Will he ever tell Iris than he is her penpal confidant? This story was fast paced and interesting throughout, but at the end I was left with some critiques. Primarily, the way the book simplifies war by making the cause of war a divine conflict outside of mortal responsibility. It felt like an extremely watered down version of a wartime romance, with none of the political questions that would have plagued the characters had the book been set in actual WWI or WWII. The book also has a cliffhanger ending, and sets up a plot twist that will probably delight some readers but which unfortunately falls into one of my LEAST fantasy favorite romance tropes. So I will not be reading the second one unless someone else reads it first and spoils some of the plot for me!

Land of Milk and Honey by C Pam Zhang read by Eunice Wong

What a delicious book, in many senses of that word! The unnamed main character is a Chinese-American chef from Los Angeles who is stranded in London by natural disaster. A toxic gray smog envelopes the majority of the world, killing most crops and animals. Countries close their borders as their populations being to starve. The chef is offered an unbelievable job in a billionaire's small private country, a mountaintop in Italy which still has access to some sunlight and caters to a set of unbelievably wealthy residents who bought their way in. The chef lies on her resume, padding it out a fictional degree from a French culinary school and experience at closed Micheline start restaurant. The chef is granted access to the country for a probation period and re-encounters a lush array of ingredients she thought were extinct from the world: fresh berries and greens, rich cream and butter, unpreserved meats and fish. Under the cold eye of her cruel employer and his charismatic and ambitious daughter the chef tries to prove she can cook dishes that will astonish the 1%. Little does she know she was hired as much for her skill in lying as her ability to cook well. This book had more queerness, more speculative elements, and more hope for a world destroyed by human greed than I was expecting. The descriptions of food, flavors, textures, and the intersection of appetite with pleasure are rich, powerful and evocative. I really enjoyed this and I particularly recommend the audiobook.

The Mysteries by Bill Watterson and John Kascht 

Watterson's first offering in many years is a strange little picture book. This fable opens with a kingdom surrounded by a deep dark forest. The people are fearful of mysteries which live in the forest, so the king sends his knights into the forest to capture a mystery. Most return empty handed, or do not return at all. One knight captures a mystery and it is not what the people expected. The art is quite elegant, black and white photographs of dolls posed in blurry but evocative settings. The story is very slight, and I'm not sure it delivered on the depth it seemed to be reaching for. Maybe check this one out from the library rather than buying it.

Everything is Beautiful and I Am Not Afraid by Yao Xiao 

I've been following Yao Xiao's work online for several years and I'm really glad I finally made time to read the collection! The brightly colored pages are full of small, poem-like comics that circle and return to multiple themes: self-esteem, coming out as queer, being a Chinese American immigrant living in the US, trust, taking up space, trusting in one's own strength and the love of friends and community. The artist draws themself as a small character with orange hair and a black elf hat and moves like a spite through urban landscapes, clouds, dreams, gardens, hopes, fears and other elements of the unconscious. There's no overarching narrative, but the many small experiences add up to a greater sum than their parts.

Fool’s Errand by Robin Hobb read by Nick Taylor

This book begins 15 years after the end of the Farseer trilogy. Fitz, the bastard son of royalty, trained as an assassin, who survived torture, a war, a coup, multiple attempts on his life, a long dangerous journey, deadly magic, and the death of his king and close friend, has retired to a small cottage near the sea. He lives a small peaceful life there with his old wolf, Nighteyes, his adopted son Hap, a pony, some chickens, and a garden. He's working on his memoirs. Then the world turns up at his door again, demanding as much of himself as he has to give, again. Kettricken's son, the Farseer heir, is missing and no one knows if he was kidnapped or ran away or something more sinister. This story was EVERYTHING I WANTED AND MORE! One of the best books I've read this year, a rich, emotional, satisfying return to the Farseer world. I love how this book deepened and complicated Fitz's relationships from the previous book: with Chade, Starling, Nighteyes and most especially with the Fool who is once again living at court in a completely new guise. Every character in this series feels so real, so grounded, so impacted by the events of the world, and the consequences of their own choices. I've been disappointed by a lot of the fantasy I've read this year, but this one not only met but exceeded my expectations- especially because I read this book once before, when I was 16, and didn't love it then. Now I am obsessed with it. I think I just wasn't ready to read a book about adults and the uncaring passage of time as a teenager. Literally thirty minutes after finished the audiobook of this book I started the sequel because I couldn't wait to find out what happened next!

[wishingforatypewriter]

Most hurtful thing Zolt has ever said to Lin and vice versa? What do their arguments look like ?

Hi there! Thanks for the ask! Let me tell you, I've been thinking about this one for a while.

Zolt knows that even though Lin is tougher than steel, she's sensitive and has a long memory, so he tends to be careful about what he says to her. Lin has less of a filter, especially when she's mad, but she knows him and there are certain lines she tries not to cross. Typically, they don't argue so much as have political/philosophical debates about world affairs and the state of Republic City. They challenge each other intellectually and they generally enjoy these conversations.

All that being said, towards the end of their romantic entanglement in their 20s they got into a few big fights. The Triple Threats were gaining strength in the Republic City underground, Lin was rising through the ranks of the police department, and the whole situation was becoming untenable. They were both grumpy and stressed because they knew they had to break up, but would have greatly preferred not to.

During one of these arguments, Zolt called Lin an out of touch rich girl who didn't understand how the world worked. This was in response to Lin asking why he didn't just quit the triads and get a normal job. The comment really got under Lin's skin because Toph always said that she was sheltered and naive and she hated it.

During that same argument, Lin said that Zolt was so morally bankrupt that he didn't care how many of his friends he had to bury as long as he got his nice clothes and imported cigars. This wounded him deeply because months earlier he had opened up to her about how he felt responsible for two of his friends getting killed during a turf war.

[kuroshika]

hello! i have just stumbled upon your page and i have to say i love ur work! i was wondering if u are familiar with the theory of Will's romantic pursuits representing the 5 stages of grief for him? and if so would you care to share your opinion on it? :3

giggling because all i thought about was

but besides that! i have heard the theory, and i wrote my own little spin on that myself, so here you go!

so, will has had four romantically-coded relationships during the course of the show. molly, alana, margot (barely), and hannibal. the five stages of grief (because i can't remember them for the fucking life of me) are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. i absolutely believe his romantic development can be a mirror of that.

denial would be molly. will married molly after hannibal went to jail, after the famous overdramatic breakup between him and hannibal. so your mortal-enemy-slash-gay-lover-slash-psychiatrist is in jail. what do you do from here? you won't let yourself confront your emotions about him, and you sure as hell aren't going to say there was anything between you— in marrying molly, it felt like an unconscious act of denial on will's part. he's denying hannibal has changed him, he's denying that hannibal still has power over him, even locked up (which refers to me previous post about will wanting hannibal to need him and hannibal needing will to want him). in marrying molly, he's trying to prove to himself that he doesn't want hannibal anymore, that he can love and have a normal life.

anger is obviously hannibal, pre season 2b. their relationship is so convoluted with anger and dependency, of both sides trying to find themselves in the other. hannibal's ache to consume, to blur with will until they couldn't survive without each other, and will's urge to keep himself repressed and unchanged. the tension sparked a lot of deep-rooted anger in will, which hannibal enjoyed stoking all too much. in closing himself off from hannibal and condemning/sabotaging their relationship since the very beginning, establishing that anger before he finds his reckoning, he opens the entryway to hannibal seeing the perceived worst of himself before the mask comes off.

alana is bargaining. even though their relationship is in the beginning, he still carries that sort of flame for her all the way until the end of season 2— and, honestly, i don't really think it ever dies out entirely. will is trying to push off all of this new information he's being given, both about himself and the people around him, by pushing that projection of himself further. he goes after alana, a woman whom he has hardly been in a room alone with up until this point, who knows the bare minimum about him and sees him as a professional enigma, because he has gone through a very traumatic ordeal and she was one of the few people there for him (besides hannibal). what i likely believe happened was that will trauma-bonded with her and decided that she was who he should want; in any other story, doesn't the guy go for the strong girl who helps him emotionally? that's what he should be going after, right? he can't begin to broach whatever relationship he has with hannibal, whatever pseudo/psychosexual tension they've got going on, and instead opts for the option he believes he should want.

margot is depression. when will sleeps with her in s2, there's a lot of shit going down. margot is using him to get pregnant, will barely registers that she's even seducing him and is just using it as an emotional outlet, yet he still finds himself picturing alana bloom, and by extension, hannibal lecter. two people he's had romantic entanglements with thus far— alana by his projection and hannibal by what lays underneath his mask. hannibal, it seems, no longer needs him and alana doesn't want him. he's been left (in his eyes) by the two people he cares about most. i don't even think there's really an emotional connection between the two of them (there isn't, but she's still a love interest, so), which only furthers her place as his depression stage.

and, of course, hannibal "i wanted to be seen by you" lecter is acceptance. their earlier anger has simmered down but not disappeared— their romance will always be bloody and angry, feral in all aspects. will is coming to terms with that, he's making his choice in choosing hannibal. in turning him in, in telling him that the fbi knows, in pushing the two of them over the cliff. one cannot exist without the other, nor can they coexist. hannibal wants to permeate every fiber of his being with will's and will wants hannibal to see every part of him and ache for it. when will asks bedelia if hannibal loves him, this is when he starts to accept it. throughout this whole series, not one person that has loved him has been constant. but hannibal has stuck by his side through all of this mess, and still loved him, beyond what normal projection he showed. will does indeed ache for hannibal, he aches for his attention, to be wanted and needed and seen by him. he wants hannibal to need to have him, he wants to be desired and sought over. and he accepts that with hannibal in TWOTL, when he makes the choice to follow hannibal to their deaths.

@lesbian-hannibal @7x16pm @shatteredlesbian

[not-available-for-comment]

Sleep deprived and rambling about yuri today apparently

Keepers:

The Two of Them Are Pretty Much Like This by Takashi Ikeda - Gentle slice of life about two semi-closeted women in the anime industry: a young up-and-coming voice actor and a slightly older writer. (Early 20s and right around 30, respectively.) Established relationship, any conflict is minor and of the typical "learning to live together" sort. Occasional, usually post-coital, nudity.

A White Rose in Bloom by Asumiko Nakamura - Vaguely gothic English boarding school romantic entanglement between a pretty and emotionally frank underclassman (underclasswoman?) and the icily reserved but secretly kind Balkan refugee upperclass…woman. Nothing racier than kissing so far, fucking gorgeous art, seems to be improving as it goes on.

SHWD by sono.N - Absolutely bonkers horror/yuri crossover in which a trio of women built like bodybuilders fight big gloopy psyche-destroying monsters, lounge around naked in the baths after, and occasionally engage in homoerotically charged sparring matches. Plenty of nudity, no sex yet (have only read volume 1, which is the only one released in hardcopy).

Doughnuts Under A Crescent Moon by Shio Usui - I avoided this one for a while because it *does* have a treacly name, and it's turned out to have a very lesbi-ace approach, which I can't imagine will help its reputation much (yes I've seen the tumblr post). But it's also a really beautifully written examination of the process of coming out to yourself as an adult (albeit a young one), and both the core relationship and the secondary characters are very well-written. I think I'm only missing the last volume, and I'm looking forward to completing the story.

To Try:

Asumi-chan is Interested in Lesbian Brothels! by Kuro Itsuki - A girl hears her first crush is working at a local brothel and resolves to visit them all until she finds her. Sounds like sudsy fun and I’m interested to see what the erotic sensibility will be since my other encounter with lesbian sex workers in Japan is in My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness. Which on the one hand has one of the most profound meditations on sex I’ve read and on the other hand has a ~very different sensibility~.

Our Teachers Are Dating! by Pikachi Ohi - I mean, to be honest I'm always going to at least consider a series that's about adults. But this one has good reviews for the main couple's chemistry, and apparently they are loved and supported by their community, which I enjoy in any romance but especially in a queer one. Plus apparently it gets spicy! 👀

My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou - A beautiful kept boyfriend and his hardworking girlfriend. I like my men pretty and my het/het-passing relationships nontraditional. Will definitely at least try the first volume.

On The Fence:

Love Me For Who I Am by Kata Konayama - Lonely nonbinary teen finds community and maybe love at a nontraditional maid cafe. Honestly the blurb sounds like something I'd adore, but considering the main character is in tears on the cover of volume 2 I'm afraid of it turning out to be melodrama farming rather than a good story.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden by Pepperco - Reading between the lines of the blurb, a Japanese novelist ends up broke in Victorian England and takes a job as a maid, only for her new [probably lesbian] mistress to ask her to kill her. Instead, they kindle a relationship. I mean... sounds lugubrious. But reviews are actually good. I'll think about it.

Ditch:

Days of Love At Seagull Villa by Kodama Naoko - I want to like Kodama's writing (I've also read her one-shot, I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up!) because her premises are often engaging. But her pacing is usually incoherent and she tends to over-rely on boob jokes and under-develop her emotional arcs. It's probably unfair to tap out of a series for being under-developed at Volume 1, but I just don't see improvement from the one-shot and there are better ways to spend my money.

[lefemmerougewriter]

Some of my favorite fics

This will replace my last pinned post, for High Guardian Space series, which has ended. This featured many recent fics, all of which I wrote:

Crossovers

Claire and Rae Meet the Aang Gang

(ILTV / ATLA crossover)

Rae and Claire finally get a chance for a respite. Unexpectedly, they encounter an emotionally-driven waterbender, a blind earthbender, an emotionally unstable firebender, and a master of all the elements (Water, Earth, Fire, and Air) known as the "Avatar." Intrigue, romantic entanglement (in some ways), and demonstrations of their bending (and magical abilities) await them all, with an encounter which will influence them for days, months, and years to come.

A Responsibility to Prevent Genocide?: Royalty, Revolution, and Bloody Zionists

(many series)

One bright morning, Daphne Blake serves as the guest host of C-SPAN's Washington Journal, and she brings in two guests (Princess Rapunzel, CEO of the Corona Foundation and Mara, chief weapons specialist for Renegade Services) to talk about the brutal Israeli bombing of Gaza. While some callers are openly hostile toward the guests, others are more favorable, with Daphne, Rapunzel, and Mara having to find their way through the morass and make their viewpoints heard, even if they don't always agree with what each other has to say.

When You Put Out Love, You'll Get Love Back: Lunella's Visit to Hansberry Heights

(Karma's World / Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur crossover)

One day, Karma meets a girl, only a few years older than her, with a unique style at a local diner in her neighborhood, who acts very generous to the chef. She is taken by her. When she tries to track down this cool kid, she can't find her, until she comes across Moon Girl, a superhero from the Lower East Side...

From Angry Zionists to International Popstars: Meet the Mess Discusses the Gaza War

(many series)

Nristen Snelker had only recently become a host of Meet the Mess, with the network glad they had chosen someone who was a woman of color, rather than a White man (who had been hosts for over 50 years). She faced with one of the toughest discussions of her career about Israel's brutal and genocidal assault in Gaza, complete with angry Zionists, international popstars, and legal analysts. Can she hold it together or will it all fall apart?

Cassandra and the Catgirl from the Sky

(Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure / She-Ra and the Princesses of Power crossover)

A young woman, trying to make amends for the errors of the past, and the harm she caused, comes across a catgirl who fell from the sky in an escape pod. She isn’t sure what to expect. Both become closer than either one had intended. As a result, this young woman, a former lady-in-waiting, begins to have some romantic feelings for this mysterious catgirl, while the catgirl hopes to get in contact with her blond-haired girlfriend after her radio gets busted.

A Red Moonstone Shines Brightly

(Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure / Carmen Sandiego crossover)

Cass thought about her past as she walked across the rolling hills on the edge of the last kingdom in the Ever Realm she hadn’t visited yet, Enchancia. Suddenly, a wormhole opened in front of her. She walked through without realizing it... In a new world, Cass finds an unlikely companion, a former (and well-known) international thief. Both bond with one another even though they come from vastly different circumstances.

Rise of the Scarlet Wildcat

(She-Ra and the Princesses of Power / Carmen Sandiego / Steven Universe crossover)

Catra tells Adora to break-up with Pearl and it goes badly. She gets thrown out. Adora tries to search for Catra, with the assistance of friends, and is unsuccessful. One day, everything changes for the wildcat when she meets someone, dressed in a red trench-coat and fedora, that... she never expected. They have a much deeper connection than either had originally anticipated.

Joabana and the Specter of Doofatanian Intervention

(many series)

Tensions in Joabana are peaking. Two women, Elena Castillo Flores and Adora Eros, have come together to debate this issue on public access television on a program hosted by a Latina woman, Amanda Lopez. Can they both keep their cool and debate this civilly, or will it descend into pandemonium? Furthermore, are Elena and Adora really foes of each other…or do they have a secret life they aren’t telling their viewers…is this all just for show?

One-shots

Korra and Asami's Swim in Manarola's Natural Harbor

Korra and Asami take a break from their duties in Republic City and have a nice time in the natural harbor of Manarola. They arrive in Manarola after to hitching a inter-dimensional ride on some robots with a funky flow. They enjoy each other's company more than expected and receive unexpected relaxation, something both of them sorely need.

Greta, Saga, and a Cheek Kiss Which Changed Everything

Saga has been trying to cheer herself up after the departure of snow fairy, Sugar, following the blooming of her flowers, and the two other fairies (Salt and Pepper) leaving as well. Saga knew this would happen, she still felt a bit lonely. Even so, she remained grateful to her friends and her classmate Greta, who tried to bring her mother’s piano to her house in an ill-fated plan. All the while, Greta has been thinking about Saga a lot, more than a "rival" is supposed to do...

Wyverna Dretch, Archives on the Dimensional Plane, and Typical Drudgery

One day, Wyverna Dretch, the resident demon teacher at High Guardian Academy, and an archivist (among other responsibilities) decides to show her ethics class about the school’s archives. After some class discussion, she brings them to this hallowed institution in a glass elevator, showing them what she does, while Snap and Rose are drawn closer together, either by purpose or accident, and Snap is curious about the "transition magic" section.

A Firenze Gelateria and Carmen's Delight

Carmen has a nice time in Firenze (Florence), Italy, enjoying her stracciatella gelato, while Ivy eats a pizza that tastes like cardboard, and Player is jealous of Carmen's gelato, in this short, but sweet, slice-of-life story.

The Manarola Hike of a Lifetime

Le Chevre and El Topo go on a hike on a rocky trail near Manarola, Italy, and it is tougher than they expected.

Comrade Sandiego and the Zimbabwean Dream

Carmen Sandiego changes the course of the Zimbabwean liberation war, with reverberations for the present. ACME is tasked with reversing it, but Ivy refuses to go along, accusing her brother of having a "colonial mindset." Later that night, she meets a mysterious woman, her confidential informant, who often wears red-colored clothing. She is more attracted to this woman, than she originally thought, and considers whether the past was changed… for the better.

Final chapters of short series

He's got a way that makes me tremble

Hailey wakes up in a hospital after her fall in the woods and tries to recover from her injuries. She resolves to apologize and make amends for what she did with Sanjay, breaking the friendship with Scott, and pushing away Beta, and the list. However, things will not be the same as before. Hailey goes through this awkwardness, with help from Scott, who is more than happy to re-begin their friendship, and tries to figure out how she really feels about Scott, and how to balance working on the list with being able to do her own things in her life. In the process, Beta accidentally reveals the list's existence to Hailey and Scott's parents, resulting in them getting involved, in some way, in completion of the list. Through it all, Hailey has to figure out what she and Scott are together (friends? lovers?), how she can juggle her responsibilities to item item completion and what else she wants to do, and her family, and deal with the feelings that people, other than Scott, have for her.

You only told me lies, only phony alibies

Sugar confronts Elder and the other high fairies about the barrier between humans and fairies. After her request to see Saga one last time isn't granted, she accidentally causes the barrier between these two worlds to be broken, and sees Saga again... but things are more complicated than she guessed. Can she restore the barrier before it is too late? Will Saga think she is real? Or just a figment of her imagination? This fic, one of the few for this series, will answer those questions and more.