#that they’ll be able to come home to someone who loves them

[comfymoth]

woke up thinking. about spiderbit. they r making me so sick and ill i’m gonna puke

[boldlyvoid]

Little White Lies

18+ Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Summary: Readers sister is having an Engagement/Christmas party this year and her cousin will be there. With her new fiance. Who is reader's ex. The only logical thing to do is to show up with her own new boyfriend... who isn't really her boyfriend. He's her boss.

Warnings: fake dating, mutual pining, idiots in love, flirting, teasing, there's only one bed, love confessions, getting together, oral sex (fem receiving), condom use, p in v smut, meeting readers family

Word Count: 5.3k

She sits in the corner of the jet, facing Aaron in the two-person seat near the entrance to the cockpit. She’s sat there with him on almost every trip for the past 3 years. He’s good company, not too talkative, he gets her drinks and he gives her little smiles every so often. It’s relaxing to sit with him… however, tonight, she’s not in a good mood and he can tell. 

He looks at her all concerned and then looks around at the others to assure they’re all busy. “Are you alright?” He whispers. Keeping her business between them. 

She shrugs, “My sister’s been texting me. Her engagement party is coming up and I promised I’d go but I just found out that my cousin and her fiancé are going to be there…” 

“Do you not like her?” 

She shakes her head, “it’s complicated.” 

“I’m all ears?” He reminds her. 

She sighs, “Her fiancé is my ex-boyfriend. She slept with him while we were still together… I was in the academy and he was apparently lonely all by himself and didn’t have the time to travel here to see me so he fell into her bed instead.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Hotch says, concern all over his face and disbelief in his voice. “That’s awful, why would your sister invite her?” 

“Because my parents are paying for it and all the family gets to go, no matter what,” she scoffs. “It’s to show off, nothing more.” 

“You know…” he tilts his head to the side and his brows go up as he thinks, a pondering look on his face that’s quite amusing. “You could bring someone with you, someone to prove to him that you’ve moved on and you’re in a much better place now?” He suggests. 

“Yeah, like who? Morgan?” She teases, laughing slightly. 

“Or me?” He offers. His brows were still raised but the softest, most sincere look on his face. She’s never seen him look so… so affectionate. So careful. Unless he’s with Jack. This is his ‘I love you like family I’ll do whatever you need me to’ look. 

“Yeah,” she gives in. “That would be nice… it’s December 22nd. Would you be able to take time away from Jack that close to Christmas?” 

“Where is it?” 

“they’re having it in New York, that’s where my sister lives now,” she explains. “I’m taking the train up the night before, I have a hotel room booked but I could stay with my sister and you could have the room for the night?” 

“Could we switch to a double queen?” He suggests. 

She shrugs, “I can call and find out?” 

“Okay,” he nods. “Jack’s with Haley this Christmas, I see him boxing day till New Year's Day and then he goes back to her.” 

“We’ll have to bring him home something,” she suggests. “We can even go a bit early or stay later if you want to go shopping a bit in the city?” 

“He’s always said he wants M&M’s with his face on them,” he teases. “It’ll be fun.” 

“I’ll tell my sister to expect another person,” she says as she pulls her phone out. “Do I tell her you’re my boyfriend?” 

He nods, “Whatever you want to call me, I’ll be it for the weekend.” 

—

She tells him to pack a suit and obviously an overcoat to stay warm in the cold New York air. The party they’re going to is going to be on the top floor of this really expensive restaurant, they’ll have rooftop access and there’s free drinks. It’ll be the fanciest non-FBI party he’s ever been invited to. 

The team doesn’t know they’re going together, everyone has the next two weeks off unless there’s something serious like terrorism or multiple bodies dropping, or a kid going missing. But it’s not often their Christmas breaks get disrupted. So they pack up on the 20th, everyone takes the elevators down to the garage together and they say goodbye before their vacations. 

He meets her at the train station the next day at 11am, their train leaves at 11:20, and he comes with snacks and coffee. Always in dad mode, he knows what it’s like to go on a long trip with someone who’s hungry, it’s not always fun. They have a little booth together, the trains are mostly empty this close to Christmas. Everyone’s either where they want to be already or taking last-minute flights. So it’s quiet, they get to look out the window together and she shares an earbud with him, with her phone on shuffle, exposing him to a whole bunch of new music. 

And she has a nap, head on his shoulder and wrapped around his arm. It’s not the first time this has happened, he’s let her sleep on him on the Jet and they’ve had to share beds in hotels before. He’s hugged her after rough cases and when she’s just sad… she’s his family. Everyone on the team is. He just feels it a little stronger for her. 

He rests his cheek on her head, looking out the window with a smile on his face. Excited to pretend to be her boyfriend for the next 2 days. To have her hang off his arm, to dance with her… maybe even steal a kiss or two to really sell it. And he can’t wait to see her dress, or how she does her hair or if she’s going to wear makeup? She doesn’t get all dolled up for work, but he’s seen her dress up for the bar and events for the bureau and he thinks she is so, so beautiful. Always, but especially when she puts on lipstick and her good perfume. 

He’s been harbouring this little crush on her for so long that he’s not really sure how much longer it can stay a secret. 

They arrive in New York at 6pm. The hotel they’re staying at has a restaurant and Y/N, being the genius she is, booked a reservation for 6:30. They have enough time to put their bags in their room and head back downstairs, but their room is wrong. 

“They told me they could switch to two queens?” She complains as she sees just one bed. A King bed. 

“Did you specifically say two queens or a double queen?” He teases. “Cause a double queen might make them think you want a bigger bed…” 

She groans, holding her hands over her face, “Oh god, I fucked up.” 

He gently rubs his hand on her back, “Hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind sharing for 2 nights, there’s lots of room in there. Plus… it might be good for playing pretend.” 

She smirks, “my boyfriend would sleep in the same bed as me.” 

“and enjoy it,” he pulls her in for a hug and rests his chin on her head while she snuggles into his chest where she feels safest. 

—

After dinner, they walk around the city a bit. She still has to get her sister something and she has a registry at some fancy store nearby. They get hot chocolates and stand close together as they walk, hands brushing each other but not holding, no matter how much she wants to hold his hand. So she rubs her knuckles against his and waits for him to be the one to finally give in. 

It takes a while, they walk down the block and explore two stores but he finally takes her hand in his, fingers interlocked, as they cross the street. And he doesn’t let go once they’re safely back on the sidewalk. He simply guides her towards the store her sister is registered at and they head inside, closer than ever before. 

“Hi, can I help you with anything?” One of the workers asks with a genuine smile on her face. 

“my sister has a registry here,” Y/N explains. “It should be under Lindsay and Connor Higgins?” 

She’s taken to the register and handed a list, everything they want is on it. Some crossed out as they’ve already been purchased, but a decent amount of things are still there. A lot of it is pointless, fancy shit but she likes to think she knows her sister well. She knows what would actually be used by her and what would just be a decoration to prove she had good taste. 

Her sister works really hard at a very important publishing company, she’s gone to work by 6am and home no later than 8pm most nights. She lives on coffee and wine to wake her up in the mornings and relax her at night. So she gets her an espresso maker and some crystal wine glasses. But when she goes to pay for them, Aaron reaches out and pulls the wine glasses towards himself. “I’ll get these, I can’t go without a gift.” 

She smiles, “you don’t have to.” 

“I want to,” he assures her. 

They pay, they get a decorative gift bag each and head back outside to the cold. He reaches for her hand again and she lets him, smiling over at him. “You’re taking this assignment very seriously.” 

“Have you ever known me to slack on the job?” He teases. 

She bumps her shoulder against his, “No, I guess not… and I guess this is helping, it’ll look more real in front of everyone tomorrow.” 

“It won’t be that hard,” he assures her.

“Why, 'cause I’m so loveable?” She jokes, not believing the words that leave her mouth. 

“Yes, actually,” he nods, smiling over at her. 

She just laughs, not thinking he means it as anything other than familial. “Thanks. You’re pretty great too when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

“I don’t boss you around that much,” he laughs too. “Dave teases me all the time about how much nicer I am to you than the others.” 

“Well, I am your best agent,” she shrugs with a proud smirk. “You wanna go back to the hotel or is there anything you want to do tonight?” 

“We can go back,” he agrees, leading them in the direction of the hotel already. “I’m going to need some good beauty sleep to make your ex jealous tomorrow.” 

“Ha!” She laughs, raising her hand that’s carrying the bag to cover her mouth as she giggles. “Yeah, no you don’t. You’re like a million times hotter than him, it’s not a fair fight at all.” 

“Yeah, okay,” he shakes his head in disbelief. 

“What?” She looks at him like he’s crazy. “Do you not think you’re hot?” 

“Not exactly…” 

“I knew you were funny but that’s hilarious,” she jokes. “You’re very, very hot. One of the hottest men I’ve ever seen in my life, like People magazine should be reaching out to you for sexiest man of the year. You’ve been on the news enough times, surely the public will agree.” 

He laughs at the compliment, “Thank you, I guess… I guess I should trust your judgement here the way I do everywhere else.” 

“Yes, 'cause I’m never wrong,” she reminds him. 

They keep joking around, teasing each other until they get back to the hotel. Up the elevator and into their room. They leave their gifts by the door and Aaron lets her take the first turn in the bathroom to get ready for the night. 

She takes off her makeup, she washes her face and does her skincare routine and he knocks, “Are you okay in there?” 

“Yeah, you can come in,” she announces, still fully dressed. 

He opens the door slowly, “You’ve been in here 10 minutes already I thought you were just changing?” 

“Nope, skincare is important,” she smiles at him, massaging the moisturizer into her face. “Want some?” 

He smiles, “Sure, why not?” 

“Wash your face first, get a new face cloth over there,” she points and steps out of the way of the sink. “My face wash is right there.” 

She watches him wash his face carefully, smiling at him through the mirror with so much affection behind her eyes. He’s so cute when he gets soft like this, she could easily see them having a life like this together. Getting ready for bed together, doing their nighttime routines and falling into the same bed. Night after night. Forever. 

Once his face is washed he looks to her, “How much moisturizer do I use?” 

“Want me to do it?” She offers. 

He nods, “please?” 

“Sit down on the toilet lid,” she instructs and he moves over there quickly. 

She opens the jar again and takes a decent-sized amount onto her fingers, she puts the jar down and smiles at him, “It might be cold.” She dabs it on his forehead, cheeks, nose and chin and then starts to rub it in for him. He closes his eyes and sighs as he leans into it. “Like it?” 

He hums, nodding slightly, not wanting to talk incase he accidentally got cream in his mouth. She just smiles, adoringly, loving that she gets to have moments like this with him. “You’re so cute…” she whispers. 

He chuckles, finally looking at her again. She cups his face in her hands, “all done.” 

“You’re cuter.” 

“What is happening here?” She asks, completely serious. “Are you just a good actor or—

“I was in a few plays,” he teases. “But no, I’m not acting.” 

“Do you have a thing for me?” She lights right up. “Oh my god, you do?” 

“And you call yourself a profiler,” he shakes his head. “Yes, okay? I like you. I think you’re wonderful and beautiful and everything I want— is that what you wanted me to say?” 

“Get up,” she says, pulling at him. 

“Why?” He asks as he stands. 

“So you can be taller than me when I kiss you,” she teases. Grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him in. 

The kiss is soft at first, cute and sweet… but then they get needy. Years of close proximity and bubbling feelings and “what ifs” all coming to the surface. He cups the back of her head with one hand and holds her lower back with the other, holding her flush to his chest as his tongue makes her acquaintance. 

She accidentally moans as his hand goes down to cup her ass and he smiles against her. He pulls back slightly, noses brushing. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to do that.” 

“Really?” She can’t believe it. 

He smiles before he steals another kiss, and another and another and before they know it he’s backed her out of the bathroom and all the way to their king bed. He has her on the mattress, hand on her back and the nape of her neck as he cradles her and hovers over her. His tongue on hers, their chests pressed together, and her hands on his back with her nails desperately clinging to the cotton. 

He eagerly moves to kiss her neck and while it feels so good, she’s worried about what is about to go down. Sure, she hoped for this. She thought maybe they’d have a few drinks at the party tomorrow and stumble home and fall into bed together and regret it in the morning but this… admitting to liking each other while completely sober, was not on her mind at all. 

“Aaron,” she whispers, hesitation in her voice. 

He pulls back, “something wrong?” 

“Are we going to regret this?” She worries. 

He cups her face gently, his body weight still on top of her, it’s oddly comforting to feel so trapped under him. “I know I won’t, but if you will, then we stop. I never want you to regret your time with me. I never want you to be uncomfortable with me. I never want to lose what we have… so if that means we never have more than a friendship, I'm perfectly okay with that.” 

“I have tried so hard not to love you for the last year and a bit that we’ve been friends,” she admits. “If we go further and you change your mind, I’ll never recover.” 

“I won’t change my mind,” he says, confident as ever. “I want you to love me as much as I already love you.” 

His thumb caresses her cheek while he talks, he looks at her with the most affectionate look she’s ever seen on him. He’s so handsome all the time, but this look. The softness, his big brown eyes, the way he smelled like her face cream and he kept looking down at her lips like he was dying to taste them again… she’s always believed him when he speaks, but this is different. He’s opened his chest and handed her his heart and he wants her to hold it and keep it safe... forever. 

“I love you,” she admits, tearing up because this is so unreal. “I love you so much, Aaron.” 

He kisses her again, so gently, breathing her in and savouring every moment. Sure, it’s not their first kiss, that happened 10 minutes ago, but this is the first kiss they’ll have being openly in love with each other. 

She kisses him again and again, never wanting this to end. She wraps her legs around him, she holds him closer than ever and he lightly moans against her. She starts to work at his shirt, unbuttoning it so she can get her hands under it. She wraps her arms around him, touching his hot skin as he breaks the kiss and moves down her neck. 

“I love you, so much,” he reminds her again. 

“Show me how much?” she whispers right into his ear. 

He pulls back, delicately looking into her eyes, “are you sure?” 

She nods, “more than I’ve ever been before.” 

He gets his shirt off, and he pulls her forward to pull hers off too. Through kisses and rolling around, his pants are off, then her’s. Behind her, he kisses her spine while he unclips her bra, pushing each strap off her arms with kisses to her shoulders, he cups her breasts and kisses up to her ear again, “lay down.” 

She listens, he gets between her legs and peels her underwear off. Raising her right leg, he kisses her knee and down her thigh, as he gets on his stomach, he looks up at her for permission and all she can do is nod because this seems unreal. His big beautiful brown eyes are looking at her from between her legs as he kisses the most intimate part of her body and she’s in heaven. 

She’s died and gone to heaven. The train must’ve crashed and she’s in her own personalized forever with the man of her dreams…. But it didn’t. This is real and happening and she should be enjoying it. 

She grips his hair, and her back arches as she moans into the contact, he’s so fucking good with his mouth because of course he is? Is there anything this man can’t do?

Full of love and zero expectations or worry, she feels herself getting closer to an orgasm so much faster than she has with anyone else ever. Not even herself. Normally she’s so in her head, so nervous and worried or barely being taken care of… this one just sneaks up on her, trembling through her, she grips his hair a little tighter and moans out his name, “Oh, oh I’m cumming, I’m— oh!” 

He laps up every last drop as she rides it out, overstimulating her slightly, and he can tell. He pulls back with a grin, proud of himself and enjoying the way she looks so fucked out like this. 

He kisses back up her tummy, between her boobs and then hovers over her while she’s still catching her breath, “hi…” 

She smiles, “Hi?” 

“Ready for me to show you the rest?” 

“There’s more?” She teases, “You love me more than that?”

He laughs, “Yeah, that was just a taste…” 

She pulls him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his lips. “Mm, a good taste.” 

“You’re telling me,” he growls. “I could do that every day for the rest of my life.” 

“And I’d let you…” 

He kisses her again, cause if he doesn’t, she won’t stop teasing him. 

Kissing him while coming down from her high, feels unreal. She’s floating on a cloud, and might as well be on drugs— it feels too good, she moans against him, legs wrapped around him, she never wants to let him go. He kisses the side of her mouth, “baby—

She hums, pulling him back in for another kiss. 

He pulls back, “I can’t fuck you with my boxers still on.” 

She sighs, pretending it’s more work than it is, “Fine, take ‘em off.” 

He shakes his head with a smile as she lets him go and he’s able to push his boxers off. “And I need to grab a condom—

“did you bring condoms?” She sounds shocked. 

He nods, “yeah… I didn’t expect anything, I just always have some in my toiletries bag.” 

She watches his cute ass jiggle as he walks towards his bag, he squats to undo the zipper and she tries not to laugh at the view of his balls dangling but it’s so endearing somehow? He’s real and there and he’s about to rock her world. 

He’s quick to grab what he wants, he rips the condom open with his teeth and tosses the wrapper to the floor as he rolls it on right beside the bed. She watches carefully, eyes scanning his whole body. She hasn’t really had a good look at him while naked yet, he’s been pressed against the bed or on top of her. But damn. 

“Jesus,” she whispers under her breath. 

He smirks, “what?” 

She waves her hand around in his general direction, “You just walk around with all that under your suits every day?” 

He shakes his head again, “I could say the same thing about you.” 

He crawls back onto the bed, between her legs again, one hand on the bed as he hovers over her, “you okay with this position?” 

She nods, “perfectly okay with it. It’s a very underrated position.” 

“Mhm,” he agrees, leaning in to kiss her again. One hand on her hip, he grinds himself against her, “Ready?” 

She nodded, watching as he lets go of her hip to grip himself at the base, she spreads her legs a bit more and he taps her clit once just for fun but it makes her whine, “Don’t tease me.” 

“But you can tease me?” He asks, head right at her entrance, about to push in… she nods and that’s when he does it. Watching her head tip back with a silent moan. “Now I know how to get you quiet.” 

He goes back to rest his hand on her hip but she reaches for them and interlocks their fingers, instead. He bottomed out and dropped to hover over her once more, bringing their interlocked hands over her head. 

She reached up to kiss him, but Aaron pushed into the kiss and made her settle into the pillow once again. It honestly felt like a movie scene, the first time between two star-crossed lovers. He pulled out ever so slightly before thrusting in again, she gasped against his mouth. Aaron trusted more while she pushed her hips into it as well, an offbeat rhythm developed in pure ecstasy. She let go of Aaron’s hands to snake them around his waist, to run her fingers over the soft and slightly chilled skin of his back. Feeling the bump of his spine Aaron ducked into the crook of her neck, placing kisses along her collarbone.

He changed the position of his thrust as he wrapped his arms under her, arching her back ever so slightly to reach the bundle of nerves that left her a quivering mess. She, in response to the added pleasure, ran her sharp nails down Aaron’s back and he groaned at the feeling, “do that again.” he requested.

“Like that?” She asked, dragging his nails down him once more.

“Yeah,” Aaron moaned, dark and deep. “Mark me… where no one can see it, only you know tomorrow.”

So she does, she runs her nails over his back with more intent, knowing there will be 8 red lines spread down his back in the morning. Just then, he starts to kiss lower, down to her boobs, where he sucks a mark that shouldn't be visible in her dress tomorrow… he wanted to mark her just as bad. But his kisses quickly return to her neck and lower ear. 

“Aaron,” she moans out. “Go a little faster?” 

He does as she asks, keeping that loving feeling but picking up the pace. The feeling of pure bliss overtook her body with each thrust, warm chills ran through him with each brush of his thumb on her clit. Every kiss to her neck and squeeze around her waist made her feel like she was on fire. The hairs on her arms stood up, and goosebumps formed along his forearms. Aaron kissed from her neck to her nipple and took the hard nib into his mouth causing her to moan like she never had before.

“Aaron,” she panted, pulling Aaron’s face back up to his.

His eyes were absolutely blown out in pleasure, those chocolate wonders he used to stare into were now replaced solely by the pupils. She ran her thumb across Aaron’s cheek before reaching to the nape of his neck to pull him into another kiss. Open mouths pressed together, hot air on each other’s faces as they panted to the pleasure.

She was in heaven.

Her orgasm bubbled in her stomach, “are you close?” Aaron whispered right beside her mouth, kissing her cheek lightly after.

She hummed, unable to speak with the mass amount of pleasure coursing through her body. Aaron fucked into her a bit harder, a tiny bit faster, hitting her G-spot dead on each time to the point the nerves in her thighs were quaking uncontrollably.

She was so close, Aaron used 3 fingers to quickly rub over her clit before she threw her head back with a shout. Cumming with her eyes pressed shut, pleasure coursed through her body stronger than she’s ever felt before.

Nothing had ever made her cum that hard, ripping through her like her soul was leaving her body. She dug her nails deep into Aaron’s skin holding him close to his body while he kept thrusting.

A high-pitched gasp left his lips, close to her ear as his hips sputtered into hers one last time. She still hadn’t opened her eyes, her breath rigid, she felt winded. Aaron had stilled as he came inside of her and then collapsed into her, deadweight lying on her.

But she didn’t mind. Not in the slightest. She wrapped herself around him even tighter and kissed the side of his head, “I love you, too.” 

He kisses her neck, “I can’t believe I was afraid to tell you…” 

“Silly man, we could’ve been doing that the whole time,” she teases him again the first chance she gets. 

He huffs a little laugh out of his nose, smiling against her. “We can do this all the time now.” 

“Mhm,” she squeezes him a little tighter. “I hope you know this means we’re dating now. I don’t just fuck anyone. Especially not my boss…” 

He manages to push himself up to look at her, and the look on his face says it all. “Yeah, I know… and I’ll handle the paperwork when we get back.” 

—

They get all dolled up together, between kisses and flirting and teasing… they end up fully dressed, presents in hand, on their way to the party. They hold hands the whole cab ride over, up the elevator and into the booming restaurant. 

It’s entirely booked out for her sister’s party, on the top floor of a fancy building. It’s completely catered, there are fancy waiters walking around with trays of hors d’oeuvres and expensive champagne. They have their gifts taken from their hands upon arrival and their hands are instantly filled with a drink. She looks around, looking for the first person she knows well and spots her mom and dad over on the other side of the room. 

“Come with me, I have some people I want you to meet…” she says as she leads him through the crowd. 

He’s nervous but more excited. She gets to show him off and this isn’t a lie. He really is her boyfriend and they are in love and happy and this is everything he’s ever wanted. With his hand around her waist the whole time, shoulder to shoulder, he meets her parents and her sister. He shakes hands with her dad and her new brother-in-law, he gets hugs from the mom and sister, they’re looking at her with eyes that he can hear. They’re saying how much of an improvement he is to the last guy, they’re amazed at how handsome he is, and he blushes slightly in response. 

“So how long has this been going on?” Her dad asks. 

She looks up at him and smiles, “Not long, but we’re really happy.” 

“The happiest,” he agrees, stealing a quick kiss from her that makes the women swoon. 

“You know, this is fantastic,” her sister announces. “I was worried you’d be upset to see Brad and Cameron here together but now you have Aaron and they’re not even coming anymore. Something happened… I don’t even think they’re together anymore.” 

“Oh?” She’s completely shocked to hear that. 

“Once a cheater always a cheater,” her brother-in-law says under his breath with the roll of his eyes. 

“We see it all the time at work,” Aaron agrees. “It’s pathological. They crave attention so intensely that they’ll do anything to get it, to the detriment of the people they love. They cheat because for a moment they’re the most important person, they’re attractive enough to get who they want and powerful enough to get away with it. And even when it blows up in their face they can play the ‘you wouldn’t be this mad if you weren’t so obsessed with me’ card.” 

“That’s Brad,” her dad agrees. “Good riddance, honestly.” 

“Let’s just leave it there,” her mom announces. “We’re here for Lindsay and Connor.” 

“It’s been lovely to meet you Aaron, but we have a lot of people to mingle with,” Lindsay announces and Connor sighs. “We’ll talk again later?” 

“Sounds good,” Y/N lets them head off and then she’s just with her parents. “Um, I’m hungry… Aaron, did you want to go raid the snacks?” 

“I’d love to,” he agrees. “It was lovely to meet you both.” 

“We hope to see you again regularly?” Her mother throws in. 

“I don’t plan on going anywhere,” he assures, “you should get used to me.” 

She manages to pull him away from them, a little overwhelmed and so in love with him. She gets him to an empty corner and looks up at him like he’s crazy, “did you seriously say that?” 

He nods, “What part of last night didn’t you understand? I’m madly in love with you. I would marry you tomorrow if it wouldn’t take the attention off your sister.” 

She just laughs, shocked and amazed that he just said that. “Really?” 

“Yes. Really.” 

She shakes her head in disbelief, “o-okay… but you still have to ask me. I don’t need anything big and extravagant and I’d like to maybe pick the ring out with you if you want but—

“You want to?” 

She nods, that teasing smirk he loves so much plastered on her face, “I don’t just want to be your work wife, Aaron.” 

“We’ll revisit this in the new year… I need Jack to know about this and be okay with it before I spring a step-mom on him,” he explains. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

[zriasstuff]

First impressions- Lorenzo Berkshire x reader

Lorenzo Berkshire behaves like the perfect gentleman towards you, but what’s underneath that perfect facade? First impressions don’t last forever…

go to pt.2—> Second chances?

“Look, this one’s sooo pretty!”, your friend Jenny on your right hand side squealed excitedly.

“Oh my god, I have to get this dress”, Anya, your other friend, gushed while already holding five different ones in her hands.

You were also roaming through the countless racks, searching for a new and mature looking dress. In Hogsmeade, a new boutique had just opened and soon enough all the girls stormed inside to get the most beautiful pieces.

Inside the boutique everything was laced with delicacy, elegance and maturity. Three things you wanted more than anything to be a part of yourself. It was about time that you changed your appearance and became a young woman. After all, you were in your fifth year at Hogwarts already.

Not being able to decide between all the gorgeous clothing pieces you picked up, you took all ten of them to try on. Ten was definitely too many though, so some would have to be eliminated. The trying on process sadly didn’t do much for you, you still loved every single piece. Eventually, you come out of the fitting room, upset due to your inability to decide.

“Just buy all of them then”, Anya encourages you, “if you don’t they’ll be sold out and you will never get to try them on again”

That was easy for her to say. She was born into generational wealth and could buy all the clothes, or anything at all, that she fancied. On the other hand, you couldn’t just take home whatever you pleased. Still, you felt lucky that you had the money to buy one or two, so you eyed each piece you grabbed carefully.

“Ugh, they all would look so beautiful on me”, you groan, not wanting to give up even one of them.

When you turn around again to get your friends’ advice, they are nowhere to be seen.

Scanning the area for them, you unexpectedly make eye contact with someone who seemed to have been eying you. You stop looking for your friends, and take a moment to glance into this mysterious persons piercing blue eyes, perhaps for a little too long. He, whoever he was, appears to have taken an interest and started inching towards you.

Suddenly, after not having been able to place him, you recognize who he was. He was one of the guys who always hung around Draco Malfoy, who was a year above you. Even though you were in the same house, you have barely even made contact.

“You’re right”, he approaches you, looking you up and down.

“About what?”, you ask, finding it strange why one would approach you in this way. And as a guy, why would he be in this particular boutique. Was he perhaps shopping for his girlfriend or sister, you wonder.

“They would all indeed look very beautiful on you”, he compliments you charmingly, towering over you, a warm smile on his face as he said that. Sounds like he overheard your little dilemma. Surprised that he was so straight forward, you feel your cheeks heating up a little. While you’re smiling nervously, you manage to mumble out a thank you.

“It would be such a shame, if you had to leave them here”, this guy, whose name didn't even come to your mind, continued the sudden conversation. This guy surely had something planned, with the way he was leading it.

“Yeah, sometimes I wish I could just go shopping limitlessly”, you truthfully admit.

“So what’s your name, darling?”

“Y/n”, you answer while a thousand thoughts circled your mind. Such as how you managed to have caught the attention of this gorgeous, older guy— he surely must’ve approached you because he found you pretty right? And he just called you “darling” in such a heartwarming tone.

You didn’t like where your mind was wandering. All those thoughts, simply because a guy paid you the slightest amount of attention.

How long has it been since a guy had shown the slightest interest in you again? As if the exact time mattered, it had been too long anyway. You start doubting that you were maybe reading too much into his behavior—that your feelings were the ones of a silly little girl who just received some candy. So he called you darling, that doesn’t have to mean anything.

“Pretty”, he notes, “I’m Lorenzo by the way, but you can call me Enzo”.

Alright, you rethink, surely you weren’t reading too much into it. He just complimented you again, the second time within five minutes.

“May I?”, he gently asks, disrupting your small talk. Before you could even respond, he takes the clothes out of your hands. You weren’t sure what to make of this, so you threw him a questioning look. “Let me”, he says, afterwards smoothly grabbing your hand. “Let me what?”, you try to understand his behavior as you’re being led by him.

“Let me spoil you with what you deserve”, he responds so genuinely, but also as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You couldn’t even believe it. He had to be an angel fallen from heaven, with the way he was treating you.

This Enzo, whom you just properly met, was willing to spoil you like a literal princess. This is what teenage romance that your favorite authors write about must feel like.

“Are you kidding?”, you ask in utter disbelief. Not that you were complaining, but it simply felt too unreal, that someone would do this for you without even knowing you.

At the counter, you finally catch your friends, who have become victims of a giggle attack. They kept pointing their fingers at Enzo, maybe demanding some sort of explanation, but you yourself didn’t even know what to make of this.

All you knew was that within the next five minutes, he had paid for all ten pieces you picked out and was carrying the bags for you, like a true gentleman.

“I don’t even know how to thank you for this”, you tell him at the exit of the store, hoping he wouldn’t regret what he just did. What if he demanded you to reimburse him? No, he wouldn’t do that right?

“You wearing one of those would be enough of a thank you.” You can’t help but blush at his words, not believing your luck, that you met a guy this sweet. He was truly everything a girl could ask for.

Generous, handsome, tall, and caring—the whole package.

You saw your friends waving you over to them, so you excuse yourself. As he hands you the bags, his hand lingers on yours for a moment, before you let go and go over to your friends.

On your way you hear Enzo’s voice, causing you to turn around briefly.

“Meet me after dinner tonight, yeah?”

“Of course”, you happily obliged. You couldn’t wait to tell your friends about this perfect guy, and they couldn’t wait to hear the story either.

…

During dinner you kept turning your head to the right, hoping to catch a few glimpses of Enzo, who was sitting only a few seats away from you. You became rather disappointed when he didn’t notice you. Instead, he was laughing with all his friends.

“Y/n, what do you think?”, you hear all of a sudden, pulling you out of your admiration for Enzo. Totally in and out of your head, you try to remember what your friend asked you about. You also wondered whether Enzo had told all his friends about you yet, hopefully in a positive manner.

“Are you so in love with this guy you met four hours ago, that you can’t even focus on your real friends anymore”, she jokes, totally calling you out in your lovestruck behavior. The way you were infatuated with him, one could believe that he snuck you a love potion. But no, he was the first guy that you had ever felt this enchanted by.

In the last remaining minutes of dinner, you were mentally counting down the minutes. Only a little longer, you told yourself, then you could meet with him. Talk with him. Get to know him further. And eventually you would both lean in for a kiss and then…

“Dinner is finished, please go back to your respective common rooms”, Dumbledore's voice echoes through the dining hall, interrupting your daydream. As you’re getting up slowly, you tell your friends to go ahead. When everyone walked out, you saw Enzo separating from his friends to make his way to you. You could barely wait, having anticipated talking with him throughout the entire dinner.

“Hey”, he says, coming up to you.

You say nothing, replying with a simple smile. Deep down you were kind of scared of sounding overly excited, which could possibly scare him off.

“How’s it going?”

“Pretty good, how about you?”, you play your feelings down. You were better than “pretty good”, you were floating on cloud nine. If paradise existed, you were pretty sure that you were there already.

“I see you’re wearing a new dress, you look stunning”, Enzo says while looking you up and down, yet again. Your heart skipped a beat, overjoyed that he took notice. He really did pay attention to you.

“I’m glad.” Little did you know, and he did too, that you only wore this for him to see. It made you happy to know that your efforts weren’t in vain.

“Listen, how about we meet in my dorm?”, he suggested, “have us a little quiet place.” You instantly agreed, but told him that you would come by a little later because you wanted to refresh yourself in your own dorm first.

After all, you wanted everything to be perfect for your first date— wait, you stop your train of thought. Was it even a proper date? You weren’t sure, you’ve never been on one. Either way, you hurriedly skipped off to your dorm, informing all your girlfriends on your meeting.

Being the supportive girlfriends they were, they help you and give you pointers on your hair and makeup.

“I cannot believe that you’re going to be Enzo’s girlfriend”

“I’m so jealous, I wish an older guy would ask me out too”, they rave over your incredible luck.

“Well, I don’t even know if I’m really going to be his girlfriend”, you confess. He did seem interested, but after all you two were on completely different levels. What gave you comfort was that he seemed to be one of the nicer guys.

After one more glance in the mirror, you take off and ask everyone to wish you luck. You tried to be as quick as possible, not wanting to miss out on moments that you could’ve spent with Enzo.

Carefully, you sneak over to the boys’s dorms and you realize that you didn’t know which one Enzo slept in. So, you wander door to door, abruptly stopping when you recognize Enzo’s voice. His dorm door was open by a slit, so you lean in a little to listen. You knew it was sneaky, but you just couldn’t fight off your curiosity…

At first you couldn’t make out their indistinct words, but suddenly Enzo got a little louder. He sounded completely different from when you talked with him earlier.

“Fuck no!”, he scoffed loudly. You didn’t know what he rejected so angrily, but it only piqued your curiosity. You guessed that he was in the process of kicking his friends out to spend some time with you.

“Do you honestly think I care about her?” Enzo threw the question around. Upon hearing that you felt your heart standing still. Who was he talking about?

“Ok but if you don’t actually like her, then why go through the effort of chasing her down in that boutique”, Draco’s voice hollered all the way to you. After hearing that, even the tiniest hope—that he didn’t mean you, diminished within seconds.

“Yeah, you could literally have any girl you want, without spending a coin”, Blaise stated so painfully blatantly.

“You guys don’t get it”, Enzo defended his questionable, and apparently exaggerated, efforts to get you.

“My purchase barely cost me anything in terms of money, I have enough of that. But in return, I get a young, stupid and attractive girl who’ll do anything for me, because subconsciously she thinks she owes me”

Never in your entire life have you heard such a disgusting thing. For him you turned out to just be eye candy. A mere investment if you were being completely cynical.

Without wanting to hear more of what he had to say, you ran off back to your own dorm. His words rung in your head, stinging harder than you could have imagined. Back at your dorm, you barge in and burst into tears in front of all your friends. You’ve been holding them in ever since you heard his hurtful words.

After jumping on your bed, you instantly sink your head into a pillow. The darkness helped a little in blocking out everything. How could he have been so manipulative, and how stupid were you to have actually fallen for that?

His words may have been disgusting, but what was worse, was that they were true. Perhaps you would’ve really done anything he asked for in his dorm, had you not overheard their conversation.

With your makeup ruined and mascara running down your cheeks, you finally look up to answer to your friends’ concerns. All of them huddled around you, already comforting you even though they didn’t even know what happened. As you’re retelling what you overheard, you’re barely able to look them in their eyes. That’s how embarrassed you were.

When you were done, none of them could believe how sick and twisted Lorenzo Berkshire really was. Under that nice guy facade, hid a ugly and cunning playboy. At least Draco was open in showing what an asshole he was, this way he couldn’t really surprise you. But with Enzo, his first impressions were deceitful, which was way worse.

But under all your anger for Enzo, you were scared. Scared of the fact that Enzo was the first guy you’ve ever had real feelings for. Of course you only felt that way because he schemed and you fell right into his trap.

Still, a little part of your heart shattered upon the cruel reality. You didn’t want to believe it. A tiny guilt feeling part of you wanted so badly to walk up to his dorm again and to pretend nothing happened. It’d be easier than accepting his true intentions.

A sharp knock suddenly catches all of your attention. You must’ve been bawling out your eyes for a while now. You realize that Enzo had no idea about what happened and was still waiting for you.

“Can I come in”, you all hear him say from the other side of the door.

“FUCK Y-”, Anya begins yelling, before you immediately cover her mouth with your hand. You know she only meant the best, but you did it for a reason.

Everyone looked at you confused, trying to make out what you were thinking.

“Don’t let him know yet”, you whisper decisively, hoping he couldn’t hear you through the door.

They all ask why not, and truthfully you also weren’t too sure. But it felt more secure at the moment to not reveal your cards yet. Who knew how you could utilize the information you had. Ironically you learned that from Enzo in the past ten minutes.

“Is everything okay?”, he asks through the door, unsure of what was happening. What an amazing actor, pretending to genuinely care. How could one be so shamelessly two faced.

“You know what Enzo, I’m feeling a little sick”, you lie, trying to sound composed and calm. You couldn’t face him just yet.

“I'm sorry to hear that, I could-”

“I think it’s best if we just talk tomorrow”, you stop him before he could go on with more of his bullshit. In all honesty, talking to him was the last thing you wanted, but you had to sound believably fine.

“If you say so. Good night then”, and with that you heard his leaving footsteps.

“What are you doing?” Jenny asks you with a puzzled expression.

You explain to all of them that you need some peace right now to deal with your emotions and thoughts. The whole Enzo thing needed some time to be dealt with.

Since you were obviously in a bad headspace, they understand and leave you alone.

When lying in bed and processing your emotions from before, all the sadness, anger, embarrassment and fear—you suddenly feel something else too. You deeply wanted him to feel as foolish as you did too. You wanted him to regret his stupid little plan forever. You seeked for more than simply forgiving and forgetting, you wanted revenge.

[cyb0rs]

Astrology Observations

♡ Aries / 1st house placements individuals can barely hold a grudge esp when it comes to the people they love it breaks my heart how pure they are they can hurt you or be hurt by you and may get riled up in the heat of the moment but will forget it immediately esp once they’ve been able to communicate it with whomever they had such encounter with

♡ Also aries placements after any minor inconvenience:

♡people with gemini + 1st house or aries placements i’m praying for you and your restless asses rn. Everything about those people who have those placements in their chart at the same time is restless mind body heart and soul. Truly exhausting.

♡one thing that i personally find negative about 8th house synastry and it’s something that i don’t see anybody really talking about is how much you can forgive those who have their planets in you 8th house no matter what especially if it’s a platonic/familial relationship. Especially if it’s their moon.

♡i don’t see people talk about familial/platonic 8th house synastry because it’s just?????? It’s very confusing but i will say that it’s very deep it makes you usually love the person so much that you forgive all their mistakes and whatever they did just because you love them that much

♡libra placements can be ridiculously superficial. They’re also the type of people whose feeling are very much fleeting they can be so in love with someone and then when they’re done they can easily get up and move on and in some cases i have seen they’re incapable of having in sort of depth to them and i don’t think that it’s a very bad thing because for someone who has so many cancer placements in their chart i crave that kind of carefreeness so to say.

♡something i have noticed in intercepted charts is that the native can demonstrate all the traits for for both houses it lies in for some reason. Take for example someone that has a 29 degrees cancer rising and cancer is placed in both the 12th and the 1st house or in the 12th house only and the native also has mars in in cancer however the website calculated it in a way where the mars placement is placed in the 12th house in an early cancer degree, here the native can have both the traits of mars in the 12th house and some traits of mars in the 1st house. That’s why i sometime ditch the whole sign system.

♡Neptunian/12th house influence in a chart esp when it’s heavy makes me so sad:( they see the world in a rose tinted glass to the point where they give people the benefit of the doubt way too much even when they don’t deserve it. The world is so hazy to them sooooo so so so hazy. Praying for them fr. No matter what they’ll still be a lil confused and still living in dreamland.

♡pisces placements men except pisces sun men are adorable oh my god. Aries cancer and pisces placements men especially when they’re together in a chart creates the most adorable endearing sweetest men ever when they’re developed. Like i could cry rn:( not to mention that they’re usually soooo easy on the eye. Pretty boys typa thing ♥️

♡if anyone wants to see how an 8th house synastry can play out just watch the movie damage (1992) the guy was literally sick to his stomach and almost lost his mind. their connection was a bit taboo.

♡leo in your chart shows where you’re envied the most. Example: if you have leo in the 2nd house people may envy you because of your belongings and anything that you own basically be it clothes jewelry properties whatever. Leo in the 4th house people can envy you because of how great your family is or your home or home life in general and so on.

♡been seening so many scorpio girls that are mean girls wannabes. It’s not working babes:( it’s ok that you’re empathetic bc at the end of the day you’re a water sign. It takes lots of nonchalance for it to be a thing for you and you’re anything but nonchalant.

♡venusian risings + cancer risings are the most beautiful in my opinion. cancer is an honorable venus baby bc of how beautiful they can be.

♡forever in love with saturnians’ bone structure esp cap risings and saturn on the asc natives<3

♡aries stellium/1st house stellium natives are not to be fucked with. When they’re developed, they’re warm blooded animals they don’t need validation bc they’re internally stable and their opinion of themselves IS what matters most yet they receive attention like it’s nobody’s business and are intimidating as hell.

♡sometimes I genuinely feel bad for people with virgo placements i can’t imagine how hard they are on themselves. You’re doing better than you think you’re doing cut yourself some slack and breathe. Sometimes it’s totally fine to do nothing and not feel bad for it. It’s also fine if you’re not perfect and yes you will be loved. And also nobody judges you or think less of you than you do to yourself.

♡sagittarius placements people esp suns are just so interesting to me. you know that scene of gina linetti from brooklyn 99 where the psychologists were evaluating her at a party? that’s literally how i feel about sags. Love yall random asses mwah.

♡also in my perfectly sound opinion i believe that most fire placements have amazing hair not only leos. The same thing applies to water signs’ eyes.

♡pisces suns show that they care more than they actually do lol they’re about just as two faced, changeable, inconsistent as geminis.

♡pisces and sag suns are seriously the two sun signs that i feel like can move on from anything pretty quickly. even if they pretend that they’re sad it’s just for show and attention. They’re like the air signs of their respective elements haha.

♡just saw kim kardashian’s chart and noticed that she has pluto and saturn in the 10th house it could be why the world is so divided on their opinion of her and why everyone has such a strong opinion of her. It’s either they love her or deeply hate her and are annoyed by her. Either way people are talking about her. She’s also a libra with a pisces moon and a sag rising talk about fickle. I will stop here bc i could literally make this whole post about her. I might actually make another celeb birth chart reading about her.

♡idk anyone with an aries moon but i imagine it’s literally like having some sort of an unhinged mother. Literally just typing this made me feel uneasy like the energy changed immediately. Was she angry? Was she loud or domineering in the household? Did that make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around her? I also think that this applies to ppl who have moon-mars and maybe even moon-pluto as well. Ugh it feels yucky writing this one bc if that’s the case for you the by all means cut her off completely.

♡i also feel like that people who have pisces moon can feel very bad for their mother maybe bc they’ve seen her go through some shit. And it’s bad for pisces moons bc they could sympathize with her to their detriment the way the look at the world from a hazy spectacle bc the mom could be abusive and yall would still feel sorry for her and making excuses for her action towards you. Grow some balls and get the fuck out of there or in your case eyeballs idk.

If you liked this post and want a reading with me you can check my pinned post to book your reading 🐩 I do natal and synastry readings for now <3

[oct0bra1ns]

Familial Concern

Synopsis: It's only natural to worry about your child Pairing: Yandere Parents (platonic) + Yandere boyfriend reader Tw: manipulation, mentions of bringing harm to others, yanderes , yandere homies trying to fight! notes:i have big brain, i promise reblogs and comments are appreciated!

Yandere Family! who sheltered you from the world at the beginning worried the world would taint you and feed you lies and make you go down the wrong path.

Yandere Father! Who’s obsession with his wife extended to you as well, after all you were the product of their love and devotion to each other and not a single soul should taint his precious child.

Yandere Mother! Who at first was hesitant to get with your father but soon came to see just how much he was willing to do for her and hopes one day you’ll be able to find someone who’s always there for you.

Yandere Family! Who finally lets you attend actual school as opposed to being homeschooled on the word of your Mother who was concerned with how quiet you were.

Yandere Family! Who demands you call them when you reach school and when you finish, you don’t need to go out with friends, you have them, they’ll take you anywhere and give you anything.

Yandere Family! Who’s entire house is filled with all your achievements and they make sure you're always appreciated. 

Yandere Mother! Who makes you warm meals everyday when you come home and for any of your friends who come over. Father doesn’t like them one bit but for the sake of his wife and child, he’ll tolerate their presence.

Yandere Family! Who’ll make sure anyone who hurts you will regret everything they did to you. The very next day the person ends up apologising and then ends up switching schools.

Yandere Family! Who were beyond stunned when you told them about Yandere Boyfriend!. Never had you seen your Father’s eyes turn so cold, so fast. For the next hour or so, they ask you a lot of questions.

Yandere Father! Who digs up all of Yandere boyfriend’s files! Any and all the data he can collect and Yandere Mother! Who befriends his parents making sure they’re a good family for you.

Yandere Family! Who invites him over for breakfast. Your mother treats him well while your Father is practically grilling Yandere boyfriend! About his intentions and why he should allow him to date their child.

Yandere Mother who’s reminded of how her relationship with your father started when she looks at the two of you, it’s quite nostalgic for her. Yandere Father! On the other hand wants nothing more than to rip him to shreds.

Yandere boyfriend! Who doesn’t give a shit about the opinion of your parents but for your sake, he’ll put in an effort.

Yandere boyfriend! Who gets pissed off at some point and tries to fight your father, gaining a little of his respect in the fight.

Yandere boyfriend! Who joins your family in keeping you away from the horrors of the world.

Yandere boyfriend! Who goes to your father asking him for tips, who hangs out with your mother learning how to make your favourite dishes.

Yandere boyfriend! Who’s willing to do anything for you, you want to work, go ahead, you want to stay at home, fine by him, he can do all the work.

Yandere boyfriend! And Yandere family! Who become the only people you need in your life.

[callsign-rogueone]

what was I made for? - g.t.

Garrick Tavis x Marked!Pacifist!Reader (continuation of keep her safe) The aftermath of War Games has you questioning your purpose, and what your signet truly is. wc: 4.4k 🏷: FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME SPOILERS (I have 50 pages left, but I just can’t do it. send help.) canon-level violence, injury, canon character death, self doubt, anxiety. oops, I made Dain tolerable again. angst, then happy, then more angst. I also skipped over a smut scene / just made a reference to it happening, so if anyone wants that as a separate post, lmk and I can make it happen 👀 thank you to everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on part 1! it means a lot to me 🫶

Riorson House is more your home than Basgiath ever has been, but it’s become foreign to you in the three years you’d spent at the college. It feels like you’re hallucinating as you wander the halls.

Maybe everything that’s happened in the last few days has been a hallucination -- it wouldn't be the first time Varrish or Carr had pushed you to delirium with the amount of pain you’d taken for others.

Maybe it’s a dream. That’s it. A really bad dream. Any moment now, you’re going to wake up in Garrick’s bed and get ready for morning formation, and you’ll forget the sight of Liam dying by breakfast, when you’re sitting across from him at the table like you always do. Violet’s screams of pain will stop playing in your ears, replaced by her laughter at one of Ridoc’s jokes.

But no matter how much you pinch at your skin, you aren’t waking up. This is reality.

“I hear you’re a mender, too,” someone says in a gentle voice, bringing you out of your daze. Violet’s brother, Brennan.

“Does it ever get easier?” You ask quietly. “Does it always hurt this much?”

“Mending becomes easier. Seeing that kind of stuff every day doesn’t,” he replies, and the exhausted look on his face tells you he’s being honest. “But it shouldn’t hurt. Tell me more about that.”

“The second person I mended was a scribe who’d fallen from a ladder in the library and broken her leg. I did everything right, the bone set properly, but my leg hurt for a week, right where she’d broken hers.”

Brennan is silent, letting you continue.

“They broke Garrick’s arm in RSC. I was able to fix it for him, and I took the pain, but they broke it again two hours later. I mended him and Xaden over and over until I collapsed. I didn’t wake for two days. They both still think it was just exhausting for me. They don’t know about the pain.”

The tears are coming openly now, dripping down your cheeks, and you bring a hand up to wipe them away with the sleeve of your flight jacket. “But it isn’t all bad. I couldn’t save Liam, but I was able to make him more comfortable in the end. I took his pain away, and let him go in peace.”

You don’t tell him what death feels like. No description you could give could adequately prepare anyone for the cold sensation that still lingers in your chest. It will likely remain there for the next few days.

“Hey,” he says softly, “We’ll figure this out, I promise. For now, just try to get some rest.” 

You nod quietly, looking back up at him. “Can someone please tell Garrick that I’m okay?” You ask in a small voice, folding your hands in your lap. You’d been heartbroken to realize that the rest of the squad had left for Basgiath before you woke, leaving you here alone.

You didn’t get to say goodbye to any of them, and you don’t know when you’ll see them again. Or if you’ll see them, you think, but you push the thought away quickly. They’ll survive. They have to.

Brennan cracks a smile - everyone in the rebel cause is aware of how deeply Garrick loves you. “Of course.”

———————————————————————

“Cadet Mairi died alongside his dragon, who was attacked by a drift of Gryphon riders. Cadet Avan attempted to mend them, and died trying,” Xaden says levelly, staring down the group of professors on the dais. “They both died honorable, but preventable deaths.”

Garrick knows Xaden is lying, knows you aren’t dead — or you hadn’t been when they left for Basgiath, at least, but his friend’s words have him on edge. Have you woken up yet? 

Chradh speaks into his mind, sending a wave of hot rage through him. “Relax.”

“Relax?” He echoes, irate. “You’re telling me to relax right now, when-”

Chradh doesn’t bother to argue with him. “She is safe under the care of the silver one’s brother, where she will remain until the moment is right. It is better this way. She won’t be in pain anymore.”

Chradh doesn’t elaborate further. Fucking dragons and their constant need to speak in riddles.

The rest of the quadrant spends the night drinking and congratulating themselves on surviving, but Garrick doesn’t touch a drop of alcohol. The three of you were supposed to do this together. It wouldn’t be right to celebrate without you.

———————————————————————

“We’re gonna start from square one, with something that can’t hurt you,” Brennan says, placing two halves of a cracked plate on the table in front of you.

It’s simple enough to make the pieces rise into the air, using the same magic required to make a pen write for you. You concentrate, willing the halves to fuse together. They touch, and you think you’ve done it, your heart leaping, only to fall as they crash back down to the table again, splitting into even more pieces.

Brennan touches one of the shards, and they glue themselves back together perfectly; no cracks, no trace of the plate ever having been broken. “That’s what I thought.”

“Let me keep trying,” you begin, heart pounding. Brennan can’t think you’re a failure, not this early.

“You could sit here with this plate all day and it wouldn’t change,” he says gently, confirming what you know deep down. “I don’t think you’re a mender. I think you’re something else entirely.”

You sit with the information for a moment.

“Signets take the form of our base need as a person,” he says. “We need to find out what that is for you.”

You already know. “I wake up every day grateful that Xaden bargained for our lives, but I have done too much harm in my time at Basgiath. The crown has done too much harm to Tyrrendor. All I’ve ever wished for is to fix that, to undo the pain.”

“To undo the pain, or to help move forward and grow?” He asks gently.

You aren’t sure.

———————————————————————

You go through your morning stretches, as always, focusing on your breath to distract from the pain in your side. 

“Your mate has returned.” Tab says, interrupting. “Thought you’d like to know.”

You bolt upright, running through the house toward the gates, bypassing Xaden to sprint straight toward Garrick.

He wraps you in a warm embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head. You still fit together like puzzle pieces, even after months apart.

“You’re alive,” you breathe. “Nobody would tell me anything, I was worried sick,”

“Of course I’m alive, angel. Had to come back to you.”

You trace the Lieutenant’s patch across his collarbone, memorizing the shape. It looks natural on him, like it’s always been there. It sounds good, too. Lieutenant Garrick Tavis.

“I need to tell you something,” you say quietly, “I haven’t been entirely honest with you about-“

Footsteps approach. “Sorry to break up the reunion,” Felix says, “but Avan, we need you.”

There’s something in his tone that has your heart pounding. Which of your friends is it going to be this time?

“Tell me later,” Garrick says. “Go. Do what you were made to do.”

You know he means well, but his words tie your stomach in a knot. What you were made to do. Were you truly made to endure the suffering of others?

———————————————————————

Every muscle in your body feels like it’s on fire as you slump into a chair, sitting down for the first time that day. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to get some sleep before you’re needed again.

“There you are. I didn’t see you in battle brief.” Garrick says, relieved.

“Haven’t been going,” you mumble. “They need me here. Bren’s teaching now, so s’ just me and one other mender.”

He realizes no healers had come with the riot from Basgiath. You likely haven’t left the infirmary since they’d arrived.

“Come to bed,” he coaxes softly. “You need sleep. You can't pour from an empty cup.”

Yes, you can. You have been for months.

He takes your hand, not giving you a choice. You lean into him as he leads you up the grand staircase to a room near Xaden’s. Your muscles protest every step, but you keep quiet.

You haven’t been in here for years, not since you’d left for Basgiath as candidates, but it’s exactly the same as you remember; dark drapery, bookshelves, a neat display of the knives that he hadn’t taken to school with him.

The sight has you in tears.

“Whoa, hey,” he says softly, pulling you closer, and you whimper in pain at the pressure against your ribs. He lets go immediately. “Angel, I’m sorry — are you hurt?”

You sob, the dam finally breaking and grief flooding out of you. You haven’t seen each other since that horrible day, you haven’t seen anyone from the squad you went with to Resson, haven’t had anyone to talk about it with, until now. 

You shake your head, tears dripping down your cheeks. “I couldn’t save Liam. I tried, I really did. All I could do was take his pain away.”

So Xaden had told Basgiath the truth, to some degree: you tried to fix Liam, and couldn’t. The boy’s death had hurt you badly enough that Xaden wouldn’t let you return to the school.

“There was nothing else you could do. Nobody could save him, not after Deigh…”

“I know that, but it wasn’t just him. Everyone I’ve ever… fixed, I’ve taken the pain from their body into mine, and I can’t get rid of it for days.”

Garrick’s heart breaks. So that’s what Chradh meant when he said you wouldn’t be in pain anymore if you left Basgiath. Those eight-hour days of mending infantry may as well have been torture for you. 

Torture. RSC. You’d healed his wounds, Xaden’s, Bodhi’s, Violet’s, time and time again without complaint, and he knew it took a lot out of you, but not that it hurt. “Angel, why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known…”

“I wanted to,” you sniffle, “I wanted to tell you a year ago when it started happening. I thought it was normal, that I was just weak, until Brennan told me that this doesn’t happen to him. He just gets tired, like everyone else does when they use their signets too much.”

You try to steady your breathing, but the pain in your not-broken ribs is too overwhelming. “I’ve spent hours practicing and I can’t even fix a broken plate. I’m not a mender. I don’t know what I am. Nobody does, not even the professors. Brennan thinks it’s getting better, but I don’t have it in me to tell him that it isn’t.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. He wants to pull you into an embrace, wants to stroke your hair and tell you it’ll be okay, but he doesn’t want to hurt you any more than he already has.

“S’ not your fault.” You sniff.

“But it’s not yours, either,” he reminds you gently. “You’re so strong, angel. You crossed the parapet, ran the gauntlet, you bonded a dragon, and you’ve endured everything else. Please don’t ever think for a second that you’re weak.”

He takes your hand in his, watching your face carefully, but you don’t wince at the touch. “We’ll talk to Brennan tomorrow, together. For now, I just want you to get some sleep, okay?”

You nod silently, having run out of tears.

“Attagirl.”

As you settle into bed next to him, freshly showered and wearing one of his warm sweaters, you swear the pain has dimmed.

———————————————————————

When Garrick takes you to see Brennan the next morning, he isn’t alone. Your professors are seated beside him, along with some of the Tyrrish elders.

Devera speaks first. “We owe you an apology, Cadet Avan. The faculty was unaware that Carr and Varrish were using your signet as a method of punishment, or that it pains you to use it.”

“And I owe you an apology,” you say quietly. “I should have come back after the War Games.”

“That was my decision,” Xaden says firmly, “and I stand by it. She was in no condition to return to the school, much less to graduate and be stationed at an outpost across the continent from her support system, while still feeling the coldness of Cadet Mairi’s death.”

How does he know that you could feel it? Had you told him in your delirium? Had Brennan told him? Had you even told Brennan? 

“Your friends have effectively plead your case, and we agree that you have satisfied all the requirements for graduation from the Rider’s Quadrant.” Emeterrio says. “Congratulations, Lieutenant.”

Garrick slips your flight jacket onto your shoulders, and you notice the Lieutenant insignia has already been sewn on, to match his. When did he…? 

You accept the handshake Devera offers you, still a little dazed, but there’s one more order of business to address.

“May I rejoin my old squad?” You ask the table of professors quietly. “They are family to me. I would like to ride with them again, and aid them however I can.”

They exchange hesitant looks, and your heart sinks. Do they not think you’re good enough?

“I don’t see why not,” Brennan says firmly enough for everyone else to agree — he outranks the professors with the years he’s been part of the movement.

You exhale in relief.

Garrick cheers. “The dream team is back, baby!” He pulls you into a gentle embrace, knowing you’re still in pain, but wanting to hold you close.

You laugh, not minding the ache in your ribs.

Xaden is unimpressed. “When have we ever once called ourselves the dream team?”

“We haven’t, but I’m starting now. It’ll stick. I’ll have it embroidered on your flight jacket, Xay.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Xaden replies, setting off a brotherly argument behind you.

You look to the leadership once more, bowing your head in respect. “Thank you. For everything.”

Devera gives you a warm smile. “I am glad to see you have found your place here, Lieutenant. Remember that your empathy is a gift, even in times of war.”

Empathy.

“Am I dismissed?” You ask.

“Yes, Lieutenants, you are all dismissed,” Emeterrio answers dryly, looking over your shoulder at Garrick and Xaden. The latter has the former in a playful headlock, messing up his hair. 

“Human boys,” Tab says, exasperated. You laugh in agreement, leaving them in the Assembly room to sort themselves out.

It’s easy enough to find who you’re looking for — he’s the only person sitting completely alone in the mess, a textbook open in front of him that he isn’t reading. He’s gazing into the distance, eyes unfocused, but he looks up when he realizes you’re standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, “about what I saw in Varrish’s office. I had no idea how much you all have endured. What we are taught in Navarre is only one side of the story, but you showed me the other.”

“I’m glad I could help change your mind.”

He reaches into the pocket of his flight jacket and extends a hand. Your protection rune sits in his palm, complete with a new leather cord. “A peace offering. I stole it back from Varrish, and Brennan mended it.”

You smile, taking it from him and slipping it back over your head. “You’re turning into quite the rule-breaker, Aetos. But thank you. It means a lot to me.”

You’re about to leave, but something compels you to impart a piece of advice. “I know how it feels when people don’t want to trust you because of your family history. It’ll take a while for some of them to warm up to you, but you can make it go a lot faster if you keep yourself out of trouble.”

———————————————————————

Your first flight back with your squad is supposed to be easy, a surveying flight with a small riot, just to check their perimeters, but you can’t seem to quell your anxiety as you take off.

“We will be fine, gentle one. We’re in strong company,” Tab reassures. He stays close to Chradh, knowing Garrick’s proximity will calm you. “How does it feel to be back?”

“Good. I’ve missed this.”

“You have always enjoyed being up this high,” he agrees. “Shall we review some of our basic maneuvers?”

“Sure.”  Maybe that will settle your nerves.

“Hold on.” Tab dips, practicing all the angles — banking right, left, up, down.

“Something is wrong,” you blurt, and Tab straightens his path immediately, falling back into the formation. Every nerve in your body pulses with a sensation you’ve never felt before, standing on end. “Something really bad is going to happen.”

You’re right.

“Wyvern,” Tab warns just as they come into your line of sight. They charge straight at the front of the riot, where Sgaeyl leads the pack. 

You’re outmatched, nearly two dozen of them and only ten of you. You’re going to die here. At least you’ll be with your best friends.

“That kind of thinking isn’t helpful!” Tab scolds, tightening the formation. 

One gets too close for comfort, spewing blue flame, and Chradh banks hard - too hard. You gasp in horror as Garrick is thrown from his seat down to the ground below.

“Dive!” You yell, and Tab follows without hesitation, making a near-vertical drop.

You’ve never been so grateful for the running landing they’d taught you last year. It had been excruciating to execute on top of the pain of unbroken bones, but it’s just manageable now after a few days off from the infirmary.

Clutching Failsafe for dear life, your only defense, you sprint toward Garrick’s limp body, ripping off your goggles.

His heart still beats, but multiple bones look broken, his breathing labored. Touching him is almost unbearable, which tells you he won’t last much longer if you don’t do something.

Deep breaths, like Brennan had taught you, to accept their pain as it entered your body, holding it before batting it away like a fly.

You still haven’t figured out how to make that work.

Hot tears roll down your cheeks, and you start to berate yourself; Why can’t you do this? Compose yourself. Garrick is going to die if you can’t pull it together. Garrick is going to die, just like Liam did, because you aren’t strong enough to fix a fucking plate.

Anger overcomes you for the first time since you’d watched your parents die six years ago. You scream, a sound like nothing you’ve ever heard before splitting the air. The pain dissipates almost instantly. For the first time in two years, your body isn’t aching, and you sob in relief.

Garrick bolts upright, gasping for breath as spring blooms across the snowy plain, trees with bare branches suddenly teeming with green leaves.

Tab roars in pride and the rest of the riot joins in, the cliffs shaking from the volume of their celebration. 

“Lifebringer!” He thunders into your mind. 

Your head snaps upward, and you realize that the ground is littered with motionless wyvern.

Garrick pulls you to your feet, brushing the tears from your cheeks. “Come on, angel,” he says, grinning, “we have a war to win.”

You’re still dazed as Tab brings you back to Riorson house, Garrick helping you dismount and leading you inside.

“We have a weapon,” Xaden says, actually smiling as he faces the assembly. “Something, someone, that can destroy wyvern in their tracks.”

Garrick keeps you glued to his side as Xaden tells the elders what happened, but it’s all in one ear, out the other.

You’re dismissed after a few minutes, heading back out to the mess, where your friends gather around one of the large tables in the library.

“Tab called me lifebringer,” you say, confused. “What is that?”

“I thought it was just folklore,” Violet says from a few rows down, scanning the shelves, and everyone turns to her, listening. “Lifebringers are said to influence healing and growth. In some cultures, they’ve been credited with ending famines by rejuvenating harvests, and saving the innocent from the grasp of Malek and his Death.”

“Wicked,” Ridoc appraises quietly.

“Aha.” Violet produces a thin volume, cracking it open to the right page. The illustration there looks uncannily like you.

“Only the purest of heart can be lifebringers, those who hold no malice toward their fellow man. The weapons they carry are sharp, but unused,” she reads aloud. “Garrick gave you Failsafe as just that — a failsafe. You never drew blood with it. You never hurt anyone except in challenges, when it was kill or be killed, and even then you held back.”

Bodhi speaks next. “With most signets, the stronger the wielder’s emotion, the more powerful the ability becomes. You feel empathy for the wounded, so you can fix them and ease their pain, but when you thought Garrick was going to die, that was another level of distress, and I guess it was enough to overcome the dark magic.” 

Garrick squeezes your shoulder in reassurance that he’s still very much alive beside you.

Violet closes the book, setting it down.

“I’m not in pain anymore,” you whisper, still dazed. You’ve almost forgotten what that feels like, having spent the last three years holding both your own and that of all your friends.

“You needed an outlet,” Xaden says. “Pain makes it harder to channel, and you were in pain 24/7, which is why the professors thought your signet was underdeveloped. Getting angry, and getting that energy out of your body allowed you to use the full extent of your power.”

“If I had known this earlier, do you think I could have…” you don’t finish the sentence. Everyone in this room knows how hard you’d tried to save Liam.

“Maybe,” Violet says quietly, “but that is not a path you want to go down. Trust me.”

———————————————————————

“Do you want to explain why the hallway was full of sunflowers when I went to bed last night?” Xaden asks slyly, dropping into a seat in front of you with a plate of eggs and bacon.

You burn with embarrassment.

Bodhi grins. “You see, cousin, when a man and a woman love each other very much, - ow, fuck!” He exclaims, rubbing the back of his head where Garrick had whacked him.

“At least they didn’t set the vale on fire,” another of your squadmates says, looking at Xaden and Violet pointedly. “You still owe me for putting that out, by the way.”

Your eyes widen as you connect the dots. “So all that dry lightning last year was you two…”

“Okay, changing the subject!” Brennan says loudly, not liking the way this conversation is headed. “We need to figure out how to use your signet without endangering Tavis’s life again.”

“Well, it sounds like they already found another way,” Ridoc says, grinning, but he squeaks out an apology as Garrick begins to rise from his chair.

You tug your boyfriend back into his seat by the sleeve, looking past him at Brennan. “I think I need to work a few days in the infirmary between flights,” you propose. “If I build up enough pain, I could probably-“

“NO,” the whole squad says at once, Tab included.

“Your healing is only to be used when absolutely necessary,” Xaden orders, and even though you’re on equal footing now, both newly-minted Lieutenants, you agree quietly without protest.

“See, that’s your problem,” Sloane says, and all eyes turn to her. “You defer to literally everyone. You’re an officer now. Act like it.”

“Pardon?” You ask, looking at her in disbelief.

“That’s exactly what she’s talking about,” Imogen cuts in. “Pardon? You can’t even discipline a first-year cadet. Do you really think any veteran rider will ever listen to what you have to say?”

“Enough,” you say firmly, your nails digging into the wood.

None of your friends intervene, not even Brennan. This has to be another nightmare. There’s no way they'd hang you out to dry like this. Right?

Sloane isn’t finished. “It’s a miracle you made it out of Basgiath alive. You’re too soft. If you won’t kill anyone, what are you going to do when it’s between your life or someone else’s? Their life or his?”

The mention of Garrick is your last straw. “That is enough from both of you, Cadets,” you reprimand. Thorny vines burst from the seams of the table, whipping out toward them, and they stagger back to avoid being cut.

You startle, your heart pounding against your ribs as you realize what you’ve done.

Sloane is the first to apologize. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean any of it. I just thought that provoking you might…” she doesn’t finish the sentence, looking down at the still-twitching vines covering the tabletop.

“We definitely took it too far,” Imogen adds, sounding genuinely remorseful. “That was a really fucked up thing for me to say. I’m sorry.”

Bodhi waves a hand, and the vines slither back into the table, as if they were never there. 

Your eyes widen at the blood on his cheeks — he’d been caught in the crossfire. You touch his face with a shaky hand, only brushing your fingertips across the skin, and the scratches disappear instantly, leaving no trace of the harm you’d done.

Somehow that makes you feel worse.

“Well,” Garrick says in his section-leader voice, “that was certainly informative, but none of you are to ever disrespect her like that again. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” both girls answer quietly, heads lowered in shame.

Your breathing has steadied enough to speak. “I understand why you did that, but I’m not going to tell you that it was okay, because it wasn’t.”

With that, you take your plate and leave. Nobody follows you.

———————————————————————

The balcony door slides open, soft footsteps approaching.

“I want to be alone, Gare,” you say quietly. 

“Not Garrick,” Xaden replies, settling down next to you on the stone floor, “and you may want to be alone right now, but you probably shouldn’t be.”

“I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Xay. You know that,” you whisper. You don’t move your gaze from the potted plant in front of you, as if you’re worried it will lash out at you — or him — if you turn away.

“I know, angel. I know.” He exhales deeply, a gentle cloud forming with the warmth of his breath. 

There’s a moment of quiet before he speaks again, just the sound of the cold wind over the valley and the distant footsteps of cadets running on the trail below. “Working through this is not going to be easy, but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

You’ve come to hate that notion, everyone’s insistence that the pain you’ve been through has primed you for more pain, different pain. Why can’t it ever end?

[eavee-ry]

i actually have some questions regarding island of the slaughter as I'm wanting to do a sequel/spinoff fanfic but I want to make sure not to mess up your vision.

Are the spirits trapped to certain parts of the island unable to move about or are they able to move about the island freely (they just can't get off)

Are they hostile and bloodthirsty towards everyone that enters the island now like the man that killed them or was McLean just marked for death because he was the one that caused the whole situation in the first place?

(to kind of go with the above) if say a castaway were to end up on the island would they need to follow the rules to avoid risking the spirts' wrath or was that all essentially and elaborate prank to mess with Chris's head before doing him in in?

Are there any canon Island of the slaughtered ships I need to keep in mind?

Could someone in theory repair the spirits?(unsew Owen give Heather a body al la reverse headless horseman ect.)

Sorry for all the questions I just want to make sure I get this right. 😅

Okay you really are invested with IOTS TYSMM

1. The spirits are able to move around freely, but their designated places are like their home (or spawn point idk😭)

2. The campers weren’t familiar with Alejandro nor Sierra, but still, they may come as hostile if they feel threatened— so yeah, pretty much anyone who would enter the island would be at risk of dying in the campers’ hands if they break their boundaries (Chris is their #1 target though)

3. Same answer as #2!

4. There aren’t any ships canon in IOTS but Duncan and Courtney! I’m quite fond of NoCo in the story though, but it can be viewed as a friendship or more.

5. No i like bullying them

6. I know IOTS is “all over the place” since it was just a thing I made for fun, and I understand if people get confused! I just really like it when viewers can interpret some of the open-ended stuff

also I love the theories that you guys made! they’ll never be confirmed though since I gave up on the series now😥

also i’ve seen people say Alejandro and Sierra were the killers even though they first arrived on the island with Chris (you can make AUs of it dw, just don’t claim it’s true😭)

[shirefantasies]

How Many Kids Do They Want? LoTR Edition

This is just a headcanon set I like to think about because I love little ones & think all of the characters would make great parents in their own way 🥰 I definitely am going to expand on this in the future but for now enjoy!

Aragorn

He wants to bring a life into the world, but only under good circumstances. When the time comes, he favors a small family he can focus on- one child is enough for him. As much attention as he can possibly give goes to his little one that way, no resentment, no competition, all of the time in Aragorn’s world to spend with those dearest. Despite the pressure to have a son, he is happy to have either a son or a daughter as long as they are happy and healthy and provided for. Aragorn’s child will grow up with an amazing guide to do what is right and care for their friends and family, not to mention learning Elvish and many skills to survive outdoors if need ever arises.

Legolas

Open-minded for sure, but I think he actually leans toward a larger family. No extreme amount, but four or five sounds good to him! Legolas is very caring, patient, and even has a playful side that all lend well to spending time with wee ones. No strong preference on sons or daughters, Legolas cares more for smiling faces and fair hearts. He pretends to be competitive with his children to motivate them, but always caves and lets them win in the end! They’ll all become amazing archers if he has anything to say about it.

Boromir

Having a big family warms Boromir's heart. He wants to be different from his father, carve out space for each and every child individually. Having a big family shows in his mind how much he loves his spouse and can provide for everyone, too. Boromir is definitely the type of dad whose children just come barreling toward the door upon his return home, rocketing into his arms as he manages to catch them all! If you ask him, Boromir's ideal family size would be four or five children. He loves the idea of having a son or sons to train up, but really doesn't want to miss out on having beautiful daughters too, so his hope is for a mix of both. Constantly encouraging his sons and praising every achievement at their passions. The girls are ladies of Gondor and nothing shall take that from them, least of all their father, who is always joining their tea parties and letting them take turns as queens knighting him and each other.

Gimli

Dwarves tend to have smaller families, whether that is by choice or happenstance. Gimli enjoys the idea of having three children, a moderate amount, and of course he really would love a son. He wants a mini-me as they say, a small reflection of himself to share all his favorite things with and teach to defend all that is important to him. Daughters are less common among his people, thus of course they are of great value and would be a blessing were he to have any as well. Gimli would constantly be hyping them up and reminding them that they are worth so much, any man in their life had better treat them so or else!

Frodo

If he were to have children, Frodo favors a smaller family. Growing up, it was just him and his uncle for as long as he remembered, and he likes the idea of being able to focus more on his child. Thus, his perfect family size if you ask is simply one or two children. In his mind there’s something about having a son, perhaps a mirror to his own youth or someone to impart his lessons into in the sense that feels most traditional to his family dynamic, but the idea of having one of each makes him so happy- Frodo’s little girl would have him wrapped around her finger!

Sam

I know I said at one point Sam only wants like three but that’s because I didn’t realize he canonically has so many forgive me. We all know Sam loves the idea of having a big family! Canonically he’s even down to have thirteen children, but of course he is fine with a smaller number too. Just definitely more than one, at least three or four. Sam has so much love to give and he adores bringing life into the world and nurturing it more than anything. Every little one is their own unique person he loves to foster and dote on. He wants some of each of course, but just loves the idea of having little girls especially!

Merry

Really wants one of each. His family will feel like a full package that way and he wants every type of experience he can have, walking a daughter down to her wedding and letting her dress him up and playing games with his son. Teaching both of them how to stand up and fight for themselves, of course! Merry is so the type who wants a mini version of both him and his spouse if he can have it. Would make so many jokes about the little clones and just melt for the child who looks like his partner. Regardless of who she looks like, his little girl has his exact smile and you'll always catch them making it at each other before the next moment of teasing and mischief!

Pippin

Wants so many kids. Five to ten, no problem. Numbers aren’t his concern so long as he can be involved with each and every one of them. Just the type who wants his family to be a small army! Definitely wants to experience having sons and daughters, but statistically he’s going to anyway at his rate! So good at getting down to their level and having the greatest time with them, but also showering them with love and calming words and learning their needs by actually listening. Just Pippin and his little army of fellow neurodivergent sweethearts all with different passions and gifts and special interests.

Faramir

Willing to concede to his partner especially if that’s who actually bears the children. Faramir adores the idea of having a family, of doing everything differently than he experienced, of pouring true love and respect into a little soul doing their best, and that is where his happiness truly lies. A part of him likes the idea of having two sons as full atonement for his and Boromir’s difficult childhood, but even one would make him happy. He is so patient at explaining things to a young mind and his optimism comes out all the more when spending time with a little one- all the world’s beauty is that much brighter!

Eomer

Big family! More than a number he dreams of a boisterous, active home where no one is ever lonely. A warm hearth and the voices of children nearly ever-present. His heart swells as he imagines having one in each hand and plenty more all around him. Eomer, for whatever reason, has the number six in his head. Of course he wants sons, sons to train as fine riders and fighters, but his sister has proved to him that that future is not lost on Rohan’s maid either. He would be so much softer, gentler with his daughter(s), still showing her things like how to shoot an arrow or how he sharpens his blades but with greater care. Gathering everyone for story time is one of Eomer’s greatest delights.

Haldir

For much of his life, Haldir did not think about children, was uncertain that was a future he would even attain. Thus, as the time approaches for consideration he realizes he simply feels blessed by the prospect and is very willing to listen to his partner about their wishes. Granted, he does not wish to live beyond his means or in a way that he could not provide for all he needs to, but in general he is open. The beauty of Lothlórien grows with every new addition, every fair member of elfkind so he is happy with boy(s) or girl(s). He would teach his daughter(s) to walk with grace and uphold their ancient strength and remind his son(s) that honor and respect must center all their actions.

Eowyn

Traditional housewife ‘duties’ were never her desire. Thus, she does not want a large family, though the idea of raising a little life with her partner makes her happy. She only wants one child, maybe two so they can play together, and her family will feel complete. Any child(ren) of hers will surely be active, so she and her spouse will have their hands full with whoever! Strength is a matter of the heart, and Eowyn will raise a strong family no matter if they are male or female. She loves the idea of having a daughter or daughters to share her stories and triumphs with, though- future Shieldmaidens of Rohan!

Arwen

She wants to be able to focus on her family, so ideally not a huge one. Carrying on her legacy and having someone to care for with her partner, a living breathing proof of their love and commitment, is the most important part. She has never been too particular about if the child is a boy or a girl, just that she wants to be there for them and a calming, loving presence in their life as much as possible. So good at holding and reassuring them it’s like magic.

Elrond

Elrond is patient, steady, and he likes to take his time both with his children and between having them. He is happy with a smaller or average-sized family, two or three children. That way he can spend his time, care, wisdom, on them all and lavish Rivendell’s resources on them in different ways. Perhaps they are interested in the rich history, the weapons of old, the art, textiles, the sheer natural beauty of the location. Whatever it may be, he will offer it to them so long as they use it well and with respect. It appeals to him to have one of each, but we all know he would have a soft spot for his daughter!

Lindir

All I can picture is twin dad Lindir. Don’t ask me why, all I know is this man elf has his hands full with a baby on each side. Exasperated but lovingly shaking his head as the two identical little elves/half-elves try to convince him they are their sibling again! Or even having one of each on one fell swoop, teaching them both their favored instrument and singing with them! Lindir doesn't mind so much whether he is to have sons, daughters, each, so long as his children have the finest things in life and know that he shall always give them what he can.

Taglist: @kilibaggins @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart | Reply/Message/Ask to join!

[jackfrostsisterssisterinlaw]

MHA random guys x Y/N

I am so sorry to the person who requested this over a year ago, I suddenly disappeared and forgot requests were a thing when I got back. This one’s a little rushed because I’m having exams these days but I’ve made you wait over a year so I had to get it done.

The random guys include Deku, Bakugou, Monoma, Shinso and Amajiki.

word count : 987

Warning : IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT AMAJIKI 🤬 I’ve got my eye on you.

as usual can’t take any credit for the pictures.

Deku 

Let’s be honest you probably don’t deserve him. No matter how much you do for him he’s going to somehow be doing more for you. It’s not that he treats love as a competition, it’s just that it’s in his nature to put his two hundred percent to everything and that includes his relationship. And if he chose you as the one that’s really something. He loves just staring at you and absorbing every single detail. He notices the smallest change in your appearance and can always tell when you’re feeling down. He hates it when you don’t communicate and share your pain and eventually manages to get it out of you by playing the victim. Try to give back at least 50% of what he’s doing for you because that would be a normal person’s 100%. He’s very possessive although he doesn’t tell you directly. He’s going to be super grumpy if you hang out with other people more than you spend time with him. Also here’s a secret. He loves it when you ruffle his hair and give him forehead kisses so keep doing what you’re doing :)

Bakugou

I don’t know how you did it. HOW DO YOU PUT UP WITH THE GUY? He appreciates you for it more than you know. He knows about his anger issues and how his inconsistency can make him a difficult person to love, but when he saw you loving him unconditionally and always being there, he realized what a difference that made in his life. It hurts his pride to tell you his problems and he finds it far easier to just burn the furniture but he really tries. He hasn’t been burning much furniture lately right? He’s opening up to you more and more every day and wants to become the same cushion for you. He wants you to be able to trust him as much as he trusts you. If another person looks at you for a second too long or makes you laugh, he is going to be jealous as hell. Trust me the moment he drops you home after a date or is out of your sight, he is going to track them down and give them the scariest warning in their life. It’ll be so scary they’ll refuse to see anyone in a romantic way anymore incase there are more bastards like Bakugou. He loves it when you try to be rough with him and that one time you pinned him against the wall..yeah I think he wants you to do it again.

Monoma

If you’re with Monoma that speaks a lot about you too. Because from a surface level I don’t think anyone can stand Monoma. He looks like he’s arrogant and obnoxious and gloats thinking he’s above everyone. His slicked hair and the way he sneers like he knows he’s good looking. There’s a lot of things to dislike. But you chose to stay and dug deeper. You were able to see the insecurities he tries to mask with his persona and the internal bruises he covers beneath his tuxedo. He adores you for knowing him so well and relies on you a lot. It’s sometimes hard for him because he hates depending on someone but you always comfort him and tell him that you’ve found your calling. He kisses you then, multiple times all around your face finally ending at your lips. Verbal affirmations aren’t really his thing because somehow stuff he says still comes out as self absorbed and arrogant. But with you by his side he’s improving every day. He gets really irritated when people hang around you but he tries to convince himself that you’ll be loyal and he doesn’t have to worry. He’s not stupid he hears what everyone says about how you could do better. But you chose him in the end and that’s what’s important.

Shinso

You like the silent mysterious type don’t you? Absolutely nothing wrong with that because he is a total green flag. To be honest I don’t think he knows exactly how to be romantic and sometimes his gestures of love can be a little weird. Like sometimes when he sees you in a crowd even if you smile and wave he’s just gonna stand there looking at you with no expression. He forgets he has a mouth and eyes that can be used to express one’s emotions. He also has no understanding of social cues so please bear with him. Also I’m sorry that your pickup lines hit a blank wall. Except that one time you made a star-wars pickup line and said yoda only one for me. You fell even harder for him when you realized he was a geek too and he fell harder because he finally understood all the nonsense you were yapping about and meant them romantically. Bear with him, I know he sucks at showing it but he really likes you. Have you seen the way he grits his teeth and glares if someone so much as looks at you. You like him being possessive don’t you? He loves it when you have deep conversations with him and he’ll listen to you talking endlessly.

Amajiki

LOOK AT MY POOKIE MWAH

I’m sorry but Amajiki is mine. Go find your own cinnamon roll. I’m gate keeping all his character traits and love languages. I’ll just word drop so that you get jealous.

He’s super depressed and moody if I leave him and talk to someone else.

The moment he sees me in a crowded room, he walks up to me and attaches himself to me and eventually convinces me to leave so that we can hang out together.

He’s biggest fear is actually losing me, he doesn’t mean that as a joke.

He loves it when I cuddle him and tell him how much I love him.

Which I do on a regular basis so back off. :3

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 5

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader, Word Count: 5.6K

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: Oh my word guys!!! I'm so sorry this took so long but I was truly so stuck for some reason!! Anyway as always, I'm having so much fun with you guys. Idk why it sometimes feels like we're at a sleepover, anyone else? Also thank you so much to everyone who is sending in requests, I promise I'll get to them!! Have an amazing day, sending all my love!! - Mo

You could have killed him. You really could have. Truly. Truly you could have.

The ‘small apartment’ Alfie described was in fact a gorgeous row house about a block away from his own home, and two blocks away from the office. It had a beautiful garden in the back, with a dark red oak door in the front. Three stories. With enough room for each couple to have their own room, and Eli could finally have his own room instead of sleeping on the floor in the parlor. The home came fully furnished, and Alfie made sure that previous customers knew where to find your father and uncle, so the business could continue while the shop was being repaired.

And if he couldn’t have been more incorrigible, “someone” had “donated” three new dolls for Esther, which were perfectly placed on her new bed in the room you and her would share.

As your family walked around in awe of the rich space, you hung back, tight lipped. It was far too much. It was an enormous expense. And he acted as if he had nothing to do with it and it was nothing. You really could kill him.

“Alfie… how much does this cost you?”, you murmur to him, refusing to look at him.

“That’s none of your concern sweet heart.”

“It absolutely is. I balance the book.”

“And I correct your math.”

“Alfie this is far too-“

“It is exactly what is needed. I’m not about to argue with you in front of your parents.”

“We’ll never be able to repay you Alfie. It isn’t fair to you.”

“Woman the agreement is already made and it was a good agreement. Now I have someone who will fix my shirts since you refuse to.”

“Because I’m your secretary not your wife.”

Alfie scoffed and rolled his eyes, “You’re the source for every new ulcer, that’s what you are. Secretary is supposed to make my life better and she makes my life a living hell.”

You couldn’t help but smile. You let your eyes wander to him, to see that he was already staring at you, “What?”

He taps his cane against your ankle, “You like it?”

You nod, pressing your lips together. The cane touching your ankle and his body coming closer making your neck hot.

Alfie knew that he shouldn’t get closer. But your family was upstairs, no one would be a witness. He needed to be closer. You were barely whispering. He needed to get closer to you, “My house isn’t far. I’ll always be able to come. If you need me.”

“You said you would have someone outside every night.”

“They ain’t as good as me though yeah?”

“No.”

Your eyes needed to break from his gaze. It was becoming so warm in the house. His knuckles press your chin to look up at him, “I’ll always come. Understand?”

You nod again, unable to look away from his deep blue eyes, “Yes Alfie.”

The silence envelops you, and you feel something is about to be confessed, when Esther comes charging through, “Sissy! Sissy! Look at my new dollys! Mr. Solomons got me new dollys!”

She jumped into your arms, so ecstatic about her new treasures. They were beautiful, with silky hair and darling cotton dresses. She couldn’t have yearned for anything finer, “They are lovely my sweet girl! Have you thanked Mr. Solomons for the presents?”

Esther, ever the little spitfire, threw herself from your arms and into Alfie’s, causing him to drop the cane in the process to catch her, “Thank you Mr. Solomons! I really love them!”

Alfie thankfully got his footing right, boosting Esther more on his good hip, “Hush now chicken it had nothing to do with me! But I’m happy you like them. They’ll have a riot with you yeah?”

She nodded ferociously, “Mr. Solomons will you stay for our tea party?”

Your face flushed with slight embarrassment, Alfie Solomons has probably never been asked to a tea party in his life. Much less an Esther tea party. Which involved lengthy backstories and horridly torrid affairs for each doll. A party could last a whole afternoon. But Alfie Solomons merely chuckled, patting down the soft curls on Esther’s head, “Well chicken while that sounds absolutely lovely yeah, I unfortunately cannot make it today. You will have to let your guests know, and give them my apologies.”

Esther pouted, “Why not?”

He began to explain when you heard your mother call out, “Mr. Solomons! I hope you are not leaving already!”

You shut your eyes, hoping that this was a bad dream that you were going to wake up from soon. Up until this morning, you had managed to keep your life with Alfie and your life with your family separate. Both lovely and warm but incompatible in your mind. Your mother could not be seriously about to ask him to stay.

Alfie slowly set Esther down, mussing her short hair, “I’m afraid I must Mrs. Abraham. There’s business I must attend to and I don’t want to overstay.”

Your mother merely grabbed a hold of your father’s arm, “Mr. Solomons you have not eaten yet! It’s late afternoon and you must be exhausted as we are. Please let us make something, nothing too fancy but you should sit and let us make lunch for everyone.”

“Now really Mrs. Abraham I-“

“Mr. Solomons I know you are a big man but I really cannot let you leave without a meal. Now please sit down at this beautiful table you have gifted us and let us make you lunch.”

It was in that moment that Alfie noticed that you and your mother got the same look in your eyes when determined. The corner of your lip crooked the same. You surely didn’t notice, and Alfie would never tell you, but it was as though Alfie saw an image of you 20 years from now. Alfie smiled, “Alright alright if you insist. Mr. Abraham I hope I’m not inconveniencing yeah?”

Your father shook his head, “Not at all Mr. Solomons. Please, let’s get acquainted with this table together.”

Your mother said a simple lunch. But it turned into a whole affair. Alfie also failed to mention that the kitchen was stocked enough for a whole week. Your mother went above and beyond with you and your aunt and grandmother to make one of the most healing meals you had ever had. Roasted chicken and vegetables. Hot bread. Strong tea. You had even made a fresh apple tart for dessert, which Alfie helped himself to three slices.

You had never imagined this happening. But yet it was. Alfie was at your family’s dinner table. Laughing. Telling stories. Listening to others. Serving your grandmother and grandfather. If there wasn’t the base lie of you being under his employ, this would have felt so natural. Your mother sat him next to you, and your mind went miles and miles ahead. What it would be like if there wasn’t the lie there. If Alfie was there not as an employer but as a regular man. As someone who was sweet on you and wanting to be a part of this family. You yearned to reach your hand to his under the table, weaving your fingers together and feeling the callouses and scars of his knuckles.

Little did you know, Alfie’s thoughts were parallel to yours. You never noticed, but his eyes never left you. Watching the way you teased your family, doted on Esther, argued with Eli, laughing in that way that shook the walls. It made his heart race just watching you, seeing you be so free.

As the lunch turned into dinner and turned into evening, your father then asked, “Dearest, how far is your office from here do you think? Do you and Eli need to see what the walk will look like?”

Before you could answer, Alfie saved you from stammering, “Mr. Abraham, her boss is actually located right next to my bakery. If you’d permit me, I’d be happy to walk her to work and back. Just to make sure she’s safe?”

Your mother perked up,”oh would you Mr. Solomons? I hate to see her walking alone down the street.”

You raised your eyes at your mother, “Mama! Please I can walk myself to work!”

Your mother raised her hands, “This is a new neighborhood and you don’t know the way! Why would you dispose of a blessing??”

“Mama Mr. Solomons is very busy he does not need to trouble himself with me.”

You and your mother proceeded to volley back and forth. A common occurrence between you two, which no one cared to come between. It wasn’t until Alfie put his hand between the two of you that you settled, “Now now please Miss Abraham, your mother is quite right. It’s a new part of Camden for you, and you just experienced a terrible accident. I will not push it eh, you can make your own decision. But it will not be a trouble at all for me. And I’m sure your boss will be very invested in making sure that his nice secretary makes it to and from the office safely yeah?”

Alfie tried to hide his smirk as your nostrils flared, a habit that he noticed during one of your first arguments with him. He loved it almost as much as he loved your laughter. You finally relented after 3 beats, “If you believe it is best Mama, yes Mr. Solomons… I would be grateful for an escort to work.”

Alfie clapped his hands together, “Lovely. I will be here promptly at 7:30 tomorrow morning. Mr and Mrs Abraham, this was an absolute treat. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so well. Ishmael will be downstairs keeping watch over the gate tonight. Shalom everyone, sleep well!”

Everyone gave their goodbyes, until your mother spoke up, “Dear please walk Mr. Solomons to the gate.”

You gave your mother a look, which she quickly reciprocated with more fervor. Inhaling deep you acquiesce, walking Alfie out to the gate, as if he would ever get lost.

Alfie chuckled as you opened the gate, “Thank you very much sweetie, I would never have found my way out.”

“I am so sorry for their behavior Mr. Solomons. I promise you will never have to endure that again.”

“Oh yes because I would never want to endure that again. A hot meal. People surrounding me that don’t want to kill me.”

“An impromptu tea party?”

“It was lovely actually. Esther is a very gracious hostess, you could take some tips.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “oh I’m sure I could.”

You find that your eyes meet more and more now. And nothing makes you want to look away. You feel the bite of the cold wind on your shoulder, and you become keenly aware of the cold metal of the gate your rest your hand on. Alfie presses his lips together, and puts his hand on top of yours, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. You barely hear the gravely murmur, “Get inside little viper. You’ll catch cold”

“I’m not cold.”

“Well your mother will worry.”

“It’s fine.”

He chuckles, “God you’re difficult…Shalom sweet heart. I’ll be here tomorrow.”

You nod, “Shalom Alfie.”

Your hand drags away from his, as you walk backwards back into the home. His eyes never leave your form until you cross the threshold.

As you lay in bed that night, all you can think about are those dark blue eyes. Those full lips shrouded by a coarse and wild beard. Those rough hands against yours. Your mind replayed the feeling of his hands on yours, memorizing the tough callouses and tender touch of his fingers. You told yourself that you couldn’t let your mind go and explore those secret desires. Those secret desires where he wouldn’t just touch your fingers. He’d hold your hand, letting everyone know that you were his. Those imaginings where he wasn’t just your boss, but yours and yours alone. Any moment you weren’t with him, you missed him. You wish that he could stay. Stay for the night. Stay for the morning. That you wouldn’t just give tea at his desk but at his breakfast table. Where he wouldn’t just let his hand hover over your jaw, but caress it. Where you could finally feel that god awful beard on your cheek. Your heart ached terribly. Wishing and wishing that it could be that way. That you could have him. And that he could have you. You tossed and turned, watching the moon make its way across the sky from the window in your room. Your hands clasped by your heart, still feeling the tingle of where his hands were.

Alfie in fact made it to the house at 7:15 the next morning. He emphasized that it was because he just wanted to make sure you weren’t left waiting, but he looked all too smug and comfortable drinking tea with your grandmother, having some of the fresh jam she had made just that morning.

As soon as you were out of window view of your house, you felt like you could finally breathe and speak freely. You were worried to a certain extent that Alfie would treat the relationship you had differently. As if you were some sort of charity case, or if you were a helpless bird needing attending to. But those fears were unnecessary, as Alfie jumped right into the agenda for the day. Rambling and cursing the names he had to meet with today. Though you would typically scold him for inviting bad luck onto business dealings, you couldn’t help but smile and laugh along with him. This was the thing that brought back equilibrium. Alfie made things normal, and made you feel like a normal person. Not someone who had just lost a childhood home. Not someone who was being targeted.

As you walked in together, many of the men who had already begun work said their hellos, and gave their sympathies. Alfie grumbled beside you, wanting to keep walking into yours and his little corner. It shouldn’t have bothered him. He knew it shouldn’t. You really didn’t belong to him. But he found that it was all too easy for the flame of jealousy to rise when he saw you give that smile of yours to anyone else. He loved that smile. He yearned for it and saw it as a previous jewel that he coveted and aimed for. And for anyone else to gain it, it felt like a quick stab to his chest. But he kept himself relatively quiet, trying to behave in front of his men. Not letting himself appear as soft, or compromised.

Finally you are able to make it to your desk, and Alfie hands you your calendar. As you touch it, you notice that he’s definitely refiled through it.

“You went through my calendar?”

“Well it is my calendar actually.”

You put the notebook down and turn to him quickly, “well it’s my notes! And I have personal notes in there too, it’s not just about you.”

“Well don’t worry darling your handwriting is so tiny it’s not even legible. I did see your little cartoons though. Very cute that is. But seriously yeah. I bought the calendar. It’s mine. It’s my business in there. And if you hadn’t left right? If you hadn’t left I wouldn’t have had to pilfer through it.”

You just put your head down. There really wasn’t much more to say. But Alfie knows exactly how to fill the silence doesn’t he? “Darling. Come into my office real quick yeah?”

You take your seat in front of him. Alfie at his desk. Still early enough in the morning where his shirt buttons haven’t been ripped off yet in anger. And his hair is set without raking his thick fingers through yet. He considers you for a long moment. Just studying your face. Noticing how you don’t fidget under his eyes anymore. Your breathing even and your back relaxed into the back of the chair.

He sighs, leaning forward on the desk, muscular arms holding himself up. “Treacle… treacle darling I think we need to talk about your place in the business.”

Your heart stopped… did he really just bring you to the office to fire you? “Alfie you are not firing me.”

His head jerked back, “What the… what the fuck are you talking about? Just.. shh be quiet. Shit treacle just let me speak!”

You settle back as you both readjust. Shaking his head he continues, “No no treacle. Listen… I’ve been thinking about last night. How much my… way of communicating scared you. And I just want us to… communicate… expectations.”

You nod slowly. Truthfully, no man has ever talked to you like this. He nodded back, “Alright. Well… darling. Shit how do people do this.”

He rubbed his face as if scrubbing it would bring out the words to the surface, “Ugh treacle listen to me. I am… a bad man. Ok? I have killed people. I have. I have tortured men. I have knocked out half of the men in London. And I love to be on the top. My life, is violent. Ok? I don’t want us to pretend that violence is not a part of this job. Are you with me?”

After assenting, he only continued, “Now, I cannot guarantee you that you will never see violence ever. But, I can guarantee you that I will do my very best to make sure that you see as little as possible. Does that work with you?”

You nodded, “I can agree to that.”

He nodded back, brows furrowed, and letting go of a breath he didn’t know he was even holding. “Excellent. Good good.”

Leaning back, finally relaxing, Alfie continues with his racing thoughts, “I’ve also been thinking treacle… that you need to be shown the other parts of the business yeah? Give you a little more responsibility around here. Let you in more on my other dealings.”

“Other dealings?”

“Well sweetheart you didn’t think the bakery talk was just for show did you? There is in fact a bakery next door. And we got the jewelry shop upstairs. I want you in on it, familiar with everything.”

Alfie begins to rise up out of his seat again, motioning to you, “Come on. Let’s take a trip darling.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you went down to the bakery. When he mentioned bakery you pictured… a shack. Something run down with stale bread pilfered from other shops.

But it wasn’t. It was a legitimate bakery. The air warm and full with the smell of hot loaves and cinnamon and sugar. Older grandmotherly women worked behind the counter, smiling and glowing. Alfie tipped his hat towards them, “Morning ladies. Looking wonderful this morning as always.”

They jeered and laughed at their rugged boss, calling him over to test out the newest recipes created. He gave limited critique for the women, sandwiched between loving praise for their work. You were given a loaf as well, told to come in any time you wished.

You then walked into the jewelry shop above the office, and you couldn’t help but feel out of place.

Wall to wall, glass cases of absolutely finery surrounded you. Perhaps it was to keep the sin of coveting at bay, but you tried to not look at jewelry. You tried to not think of yourself as a girl who longed for jewelry. But looking at the glittering jewels and chains, you couldn’t help but feel a thrill run through you. They were beautiful.

You hear Alfie laugh before you realize that your mouth had been gaping open, “Well go on then. Take a look around.”

Your fingers danced along the glass casing, staring at the fine pieces. Like glittering flowers on delicate flower beds, you couldn’t believe it. Long thick golden chains. Silvers bracelets. A diamond tiara even. It wasn’t until the end of the line did you see something that made your heart pause in your chest.

A small golden locket. Heart shaped, with engraved ivy around the edges. Holding it along was a delicate gold chain. It looked so soft, beautiful, and something you had always wanted to wear. You were so entranced by its simple beauty, you jumped when Alfie came behind you.

“You want to try it on?”

You shook your head vigorously, “Oh no no it’s ok.”

“C’mon you want to I know you do.”

“I can’t try on the merchandise!”

“I think I decide who can try on the jewelry yeah? C’mon just try it on. It’s been waiting for someone.”

You smiled, suddenly very shy, “Well… ok. Just for a second.”

Alfie unlocked the case, pulling it out gently, carrying it as though it was the diamond tiara in the case over. He motioned for you to hold your hair away, to let him clasp it around your neck. It was so silent, you being the only two in the shop. All that could be heard was your pounding heart and the sound of Alfie’s breath brushing against your ear. You felt the cool weight against your chest, with Alfie’s warm and heavy hands on your shoulders. He gently positioned you in front a mirror, letting you see it on yourself.

You looked beautiful. It looked like it always belonged to you. As though it was made for you and you alone. The scent of your soap and perfume filled Alfie’s nose, and he wished that all the air in the world was replaced by your smell. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He leaned into you, bringing his face to the side of yours. Cheek to cheek, letting his hands run up and down your arms. Feeling the shiver that ran up your spine. “It’s beautiful.” You whisper, suddenly feeling as though you couldn’t catch your breath.

Alfie pressed his lips to your hair, mumbling into you, “It was made for you.”

You feel yourself melt into him, your back falling into his chest, with his strong arms wrapping around you. You heart was pounding, and you could’ve sworn you felt his heart knocking into your back. Your chest was so tight, you felt like your whole body was on fire. Alfie couldn’t stop now. He pressed kisses to your temple, “Tell me to stop.”

You gave no response as you leaned into his touch, him never stopping, trying to restrain himself as he pressed his passion to your temples and cheeks, “Tell me to stop. I’ll never ask anything of you. Tell me you feel nothing for me.”

You gasped, it was too much, but you just wanted to press him closer to you. Wrapping his arms tighter around you, “Alfie..” you whispered.

He turned you around, whispering your name as he pulled you to his chest.

“Alfie?”, Ollie knocked on the door frame of the jewelry shop, concern, shame, and confusion thick in his throat.

Alfie shut his eyes tightly, and you feel the grip on your waist strengthen, “WHAT OLLIE?” He barked out, causing you to snort.

Ollie begins to stammer, “I- I’m sorry Alfie! It’s just uh… Mr. Shelby… he’s here.”

Alfie put his head onto your forehead muttering, “I’m going to fucking shoot him.”

Alfie guides you out of the door, and you can barely make out Alfie telling Ollie to start searching for another job.

Mr. Shelby looks incredibly comfortable in Alfie’s office. Before you can say hello to the man, Alfie butts in, “What the fuck do you want Tommy. You interrupted a very important meeting.”

Tommy smiled at you softly, then turning to Alfie, “Sorry Alfie, but this is about our club. I think you can make a little exception for me eh?”

Alfie just grumbled as he threw himself into his seat, using his pointer finger to direct you and Tommy to your seats. Tommy continued once he settled into his seat, “We’ve got an issue Alfie. Apparently, someone is not too happy about our little arrangement. And evidently… according to some sources… you roughed someone up last night. Which allegedly resulted in someone’s home going up in smoke.”

At this admission Tommy turned to look at you, “My condolences darling. Hope everyone is ok yeah?”

“Don’t look at my secretary. What the fuck are you talking about?” Alfie barks out.

Before turning back to Alfie, Tommy rolls his eyes and breathes in slowly, “Alfie. My men have gotten information that you, in all your wisdom, beat the living daylights out of some idiot. And that idiot, is the nephew of our good friend Mr. Sabini. Now, Mr. Sabini, was not just hurt that you nearly killed his nephew, but he was also hurt that your lovely secretary denied his nephew, and that we are working together, in direct competition with a bar he owns on the same street.”

Alfie felt his stomach drop.

He knew. He knew that it was somehow his fault. Because this is what happens isn’t it? Anytime he allows himself a small comfort or a small glimmer of a dream of something different, it hurts all those around him. It destroys them. It kills them. This time, he hoped it would have been different. That God maybe would have had mercy on him. Allowed him this tenderness. Found him worthy of you.

"Alfie?", you prodded gently. You had risen from your seat on the plush velvet couch to touch his shoulder. His whole body had tensed up at Tommy's admission of evidence. The admission was scary enough, to know that you put your family in danger for simply denying a man. But it wasn't Alfie's to feel guilt for. And you knew he was holding himself responsible. Because that's what he does. He carries the weight of everyone on his own shoulders. Under your touch you feel his muscle tighten and relax immediately. Alfie raised his eyes to stare back at Tommy, whose typically impassible face had the shadow of regret and concern underneath those cold eyes.

"Tommy. I'm not going to let this pass."

"I know you're not Alfie. I think the time has come for Sabini to be removed."

Alfie leans back into his seat, hands folded across his stomach. You removed yourself back to your seat, the real business needed air.

You had never met Mr. Sabini. But you had certainly heard of him. All the girls in your classes spoke about their own encounters with him. How he would corner them and say vulgar things, hoping to get an evening with them. You'd seen him in town on your laundry deliveries with Eli, and you always felt as though you needed to bathe after you locked eyes with him. Eli always walked in front of you, as if to announce that you weren't alone to be approached. And to know that his nephew was much of the same, and went as far as to punish those the way he did for denying him was a shock. The Sabinis had made themselves clear that they weren't above killing for disrespect.

And yet you feared more for the Sabini family than you did your own in this moment. You had seen Alfie be ruthless and loud. You had seen him scream to the point of men wetting themselves, and you had seen Alfie beat a man near death. But this Alfie... this Alfie made your blood run cold. Made you sweat underneath the lamp in the corner. He looked larger than normal. The muscles in his neck and arm twitching every so often. He was near silent. And when he did speak, it was low but rumbling. As if the plates of the earth were moving to the sound of his voice. This wasn't a meeting you took notes for. This was a meeting where the words soaked into your skin, into your bones as you listened to the methodical destruction of the Sabini company.

"Miss Abraham. Come here dear." Alfie called to you finally.

When you got to him, he brought you down to your level, whispering, "I want you to go with Ollie, and he is going to take you home. Go be with your family for the day, draw up some ideas for the gaming club for me alright?"

The way he whispered it so lowly, it was accepting no arguments, despite the fact it had not even reached lunch time yet. You nodded in assent, and he simply responded, "Good girl. I will see you tomorrow."

When you walked into the house, your mother was the only one home, placing the finishing touches on a dress to be picked up in the evening, "Oh darling! You're home early! You feeling alright? You look pale."

You shook your head, suddenly feeling a bit weak, "No mama I'm fine. My boss just heard about what happened and wanted me to go home."

"Mmm, well why don't you sit with me anyway."

You took a seat on the floor across from your mom. You had been sitting like this since you were a child. From playing dolls, to reading to her, to helping sew loose buttons on your family's shirts with her. It was where you gave your mother all your thoughts. All your fears and secrets. It was the confessional and threshing floor of all your worries.

Without looking up from her needlework your mother smoothly spoke, "That's quite a beautiful necklace darling. Did Mr. Solomons send you home with that as well?"

Your stomach dropped, and your hand flew to your chest.

You hadn't taken it off.

"Mama I-"

"My love how long did you think you were going to be able to keep up this ruse? You and I both know that lying is not your strong suit."

Your hands covered your face in embarrassment. "How long have you known?"

Your mother smiled, still not looking up from her work, "Oh since about the fourth week. You looked a little too giddy coming home the night before, so I assumed your boss was incredibly handsome. So I peeked out the window and saw him. I mean really darling did you even try?"

"Ugh... does Papa know?"

"Mmhmm. He was very cross for about two days, but I spoke with him."

"Are you still cross with me?"

It was only now that she stopped her steady work, "I'm only upset that you didn't feel as though you could trust me and your father. I understand darling, you wanted your independence and to figure things out for yourself. But we love you darling, and we want to know these things so we can just know you are ok."

You got closer to your mother, laying your head on her knees, "I just didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to feel as though I was a burden."

"Oh hush." She said, smoothing out the hairs on your head, "You have never been a burden. And your troubles are never a burden. You need to believe that darling, you are not a burden to us. You don't need to shoulder everything on your own. Not when you have us."

You nodded, feeling the tears pool and gather on your mother's dress. The stress of the past 48 hours finally overcoming you. And you told her everything. About the day to day job. About the gaming club. About the fire. About Alfie. About what he made you feel.... you laid it all bare for your mother, who nodded and received it all. And you finally felt the weight of 1000 stones finally lift off your chest.

Back at the office, the room is full of smoke and two bottles of whiskey slowly depleting. Tommy and Alfie have drawn up a master plan of an offensive, a war to end it all. For 2 years they have dealt separately with Sabini. But to Alfie, this was a step too far. He targeted an innocent girl. His secretary. For what? To protect the 'honor' of a boy? It would not stand.

After the construction, Alfie and Tommy slumped in their chairs, mulling over the day. Thinking of everything to come.

"You love her don't you."

Alfie's eyes flicked to him, Tommy's cold eyes never shifting away , piercing him through the smokey haze. "None of your fucking business mate. She's just a good secretary. And a good girl. Doesn't deserve this."

"No. No a good secretary gets a raise every so often. A good secretary doesn't come into meetings and give advice. A good secretary doesn't get this protection Alfie."

Alfie didn't respond. Because if he did respond it would become real. It wouldn't just be something he could bury anymore. Once he said it, it would change everything. Tommy put out his cigarette, "You love that girl Alfie. That adds a whole new element to this game we are playing with."

"She is not a fucking pawn Tommy."

"Well to Sabini she is. Try as you might Alfie, that's what happens to men like us. Those we love turn into game pieces. This whole city is a fucking chess board."

"You are talking as if you're a god Tommy."

"And you are talking as if there is one to protect you, As if there is something to protect that girl."

"There is something to protect her you shit. It's me. I'll kill all of London before a single hair on her head is touched. That includes you mate, so don't talk to me about game pieces, or protection, or people dying alright? Because no matter what Sabini throws at us, not matter if this sick plan of our fails, no matter if all of London burns, I will make sure that she is safe!"

Tommy just smiles in the wake of Alfie's fury, lighting up another smoke, "And that is why I know we will not fail."

Taglist: @jokersqueenofchaos @hoodeddreams13 @satur9-saturnalia @autumnleaves1991-blog @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @character---obsessed @solomons-finest-rum @cookiez56-blog

[katsukismrs]

i wish i were heather.

platonic!katsuki bakugou x reader

a/n: if you can’t tell i’m not in the best mental state rn💀 inspired by Heather by Conan Gray. this isn’t my best piece but meh

warnings: y/n ran away from home due to abusive family, was left out a lot by friends, bakugou’s sort of the exception???

—

“You’re rich, Y/N! Literally if i were you, i’d be spending money everywhere!” Denki exclaimed in disappointment “And you don’t do anything with your money!”

“That’s called not being wise with money, Kaminari!” Ida disagreed wholeheartedly with Denki’s statement. “Y/N’s being completely reasonable with her money.”

Truth is, it isn’t that you can’t find a reason to spend your money, you donate to charity each month and take yourself and friends on shopping sprees. It’s just that the money feels.. empty. It has always been.

It was widely known that you spent the last years of your childhood and your first years of being a teenager in an orphanage, since you strongly disapproved of going back to that hell of a place your family calls home. You were 10 when you ran away from there, the day that marked your freedom.

But you can’t help but feel.. lonely.

Walking around in parks, malls, or any open space makes you see the life you can only dream of having. Children being pampered and loved by their parents can only make you feel like your skin doesn’t fit right over your bones, makes your legs eager to run somewhere far away to scream.

And unfortunately that has gotten to your UA classmates, too. Seeing Midoriya with his mother, seeing Bakugou with his parents, seeing everyone living the life you could never have. But they want to be you. It’s stupid to think about how they’ll trade a life full of security, love, support and happiness for having money and fame. but the grass on the other side is always greener, isn’t it?

There’s a side of you, that envies your classmates so much it could kill them, kill them for the life they potentially stole from you, but you know that isn’t the case and never will be.

And it isn’t with those in UA, either. But all your friends have something in common: they leave you, just like your parents did, just like everyone will.

Your friends left you for others, your best friends were never ‘forever’ as they say, and you hated that, and you hated yourself for it.

—

You sit in Katsuki’s dorm.

In silence.

With your thoughts. Disgusting, disgusting thoughts.

“I wish i were you, or anybody else.” You abruptly spoke.

“Hm?” He looked at you, perplexed. “What’d ya say?”

“i don’t want to be myself anymore.” you spoke.

“Who do you wanna be then? me?” He joked.

“I want to be anybody else but me.”

He turned to face you. “Because?”

“Everyone thinks i have it perfect because i have money.”

Katsuki stared at you, waiting for you to get to your point.

“But rectangular pieces of paper can’t love like a human can.” you spoke with a monotonous tone.

He waited for you to get to your point, staying silent.

I wish i were Jiro, who has supportive parents.

I wish i were Ochako, whom regardless of financial situation, her parents still love her anyways.

I wish i were Ida, whose brother adores him.

I wish i were Mina, who can make friends anywhere and everywhere.

I wish i were Kirishima, able to make friends stay.

I wish i were Shoto, whose father is trying to make up for the damage he caused him.

But all you can muster out is “I don’t want to be myself, i don’t want to be here as me, i want to be someone else, anybody.”

Katsuki looked at you. “You think you can have it your way every time in life, huh?” He laughed.

You looked up at him, tears threatening to fall as your throat begins tying itself into a knot.

Katsuki sighed “Listen, I’m not the type to come to for this verbal shit, but you’re pretty fuckin’ awesome as is.”

You didn’t believe him, you couldn’t believe him.

but maybe you could someday, but for now?

you wish you were Heather, or someone else who isn’t you.

—

[bird-inacage]

Love in the Air: Sky’s Desire to be Loved

Sky is already breaking my heart. What I really picked up on in this episode is despite the pain, disappointment and trauma Sky carries with him, he still ultimately just wants to be loved.

At the race, when he first realises Prapai is staring at him, he looks slightly taken aback in a pleasantly surprised sort of way. Like ‘oh, he noticed me’. It’s evident that Sky finds Prapai very attractive, and so when Prapai takes him aside, you can tell that Sky is shy, nervous even. That’s the sort of reaction you only have in front of someone you potentially like. However, as soon as Prapai comes out with his proposition, Sky’s impression of him immediately does a 180. You can tell how hurt he is by this revelation. It’s not simply ‘oh this guy is an asshole too’, but more so, ‘why is this happening to me again?’

The fact that Sky agrees to their one night stand is more than just about repaying a favour or rising to the challenge. To me this is a sign of self-destructive behaviour. I think he resorts to his usual defence mechanism which is playing nonchalant. Maybe if he pretends to be unaffected and somehow detached from this emotionally, he won’t be hurt when it dawns on him all over again that this was purely a physical transaction. But he goes into this knowing that he’s hurt, hurting and will be hurt further by it.

I think Sky feels better when he has control and is taking the initiative. Because then something at least is on his terms, and he can convince himself he’s okay that it is just sex.

So Sky chooses to give in purely to lust, and to allow that to sweep him away. He is able to enjoy their night together simply on a physical level. However, immediately afterward you can tell Sky is unhappy, empty and regretful. He feels like nothing but an object of desire. His attempt to detach himself emotionally wasn’t successful. So he reaches for Prapai again for that momentary high. The brief comfort that comes from connecting with someone during sex is only temporary.

People who have experienced abusive or toxic relationships, desperately want the other person to love them equally, and are therefore willing to compromise their own discomfort, their own boundaries and concede to more and more to please that person.

I do also think that some people who are desperately seeking love, sometimes mistake any form of intimacy as a substitute. They’ll take what is offered to them, even if it makes them feel bad about themselves. Which is why I believe Sky continued to engage with Prapai that night, because he probably tried to convince himself that it was enough, which clearly backfired.

Then we see Sky leave the hotel, looking so dejected, small and alone. What kills me about these scenes is the quiet resignation in Sky’s acceptance of the situation. He just looks like he’s thinking ‘how could you be so stupid?’ And when he says “you’re also an asshole” - he sounds genuinely disappointed. Like he was really hoping Prapai would be different and prove him wrong.

Sky then returns home where he clearly wants to cry but holds it in. I think Sky believes that if he truly broke down in that moment, then he would have truly admitted defeat. That it would be affirmation that he has allowed this to get to him and hurt him, when he was so determined not to let that happen again.

“Shitty things always happen to me”. When bad things happen repeatedly to someone, it’s easy to internalise that as if it is somehow your fault because the common denominator is you.

Later in the episode, there are multiple scenes where Sky reiterates that he doesn’t think Prapai would ever truly be interested in him. That Prapai’s interest in pursuing him is just for sex.

When he answers Prapai’s call for the first time, he doesn’t yet know who it is, and yet Prapai crosses his mind. This shows that Prapai did leave an impression on him. Sky has not completely erased him from his mind.

The other important detail to note here is that even though Sky deems Prapai an ‘asshole’, he doesn’t at any point say he’s not attracted to him. He’s always commenting on how he feels Prapai wouldn’t be attracted to him. This demonstrates that Sky does genuinely believe (despite all his negative impressions) that Prapai is out of his league and would never take real notice of him. He would not be having these thoughts if he didn’t like Prapai on some level. And he hates himself for that, because he feels he should know better.

It’s because he’s attracted to Prapai that he can’t help feeling taken by Prapai’s advances. He even peers out of the window to see if Prapai is still there. He repeatedly tells himself to shake out of it, knowing he shouldn’t entertain these delusions.

In the last scene where Sky receives the sunflowers, he’s taken aback for a moment when Prapai tells him why he sent them. “Cause sunflowers face the sky, I can’t be the sun for you but whenever you see sunflowers, remember that this wind’s watching over the sky”.

Sky is aware that Prapai is sweet talking. But he can’t help himself from being genuinely touched for a moment, like his brain is going ‘see, someone is doing this for you, that must mean something right?’.

At this stage Prapai doesn’t fully mean it. Not really. The man has no idea what his own feelings for Sky are. But this was still surprisingly heartfelt and sweet. A passing comment which meant a whole lot to Sky in that moment because it was so nice to just hear someone try and sweet talk him for once - regardless of how genuine it was.

Sky is clearly conflicted over his feelings around Prapai. He knows he should be staying well away, but at the same time he can’t help but want to be the object of someone’s attentions. Little does he know how deeply Prapai will come to love him.

[paperstorm]

The argument/make-up in 2x04 is really one of my favourite Tarlos stories because I just love when conflict in fiction is the direct result of two people’s individual traumas bumping up against each other, rather than someone being a villain.

Both of them in this episode are coming from a place of having a large trauma in their past that the other doesn’t know all the details of. Carlos hasn’t told TK anything, at this point, about how his coming out went and how much pain he is in every single day because he feels like his parents don’t fully accept him being gay. He avoids the topic of his parents at Owen’s party when TK brings it up because he’s in a honeymoon phase with TK and he’s never had that before with anyone. He believes – like he says at the end when they make up – that he might never be able to have a real relationship. And he does likely know that at some point they’ll have to discuss his parents but he has never been as happy with anyone as he is with TK (insert season four context of he felt broken until the day they met) and he isn’t ready just yet for the dreamy bubble they’re in to be burst by reality.

So he deflects, in what will become a signature personality trait of Carlos’s – chronic avoidance and making jokes to get out of conversations he isn't ready to have. And then by accident they run into Gabriel and Andrea, and Carlos, still not ready to do this, panics and introduces TK as his friend. He knows he shouldn’t have done that, but trauma, so he acts like he doesn’t understand why TK is upset and he makes a joke out of it. He’s been anxious this whole time about how TK, who is so out and loud and proud, is going to react when he finds out Carlos is still half in the closet, and this is the very reaction he was so afraid of and why he avoided it for so long.

None of it is done with malintent, it’s all self-preservation and learned coping mechanisms from things in his past that have left such deep scars, but TK doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

TK, meanwhile, is still pretty fresh off of getting his heart broken so badly that he tried to kill himself. He went to Austin in a truly horrendous state of pain and trauma and heartache. He wasn’t planning on meeting his soulmate so soon, he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate because of how much his heart was still in tatters, which is why we get him being so wishy-washy in season one. By early season two he’s also very much in that honeymoon phase, but that doesn’t mean his wounds are fully healed yet. He asks Carlos about his parents, it feels implied in the party scene that it isn’t the first time he’s asking about them. He’s given Carlos the opportunity to have the conversation that they need to have, but Carlos has changed the subject.

Then they run into them. TK is so happy to meet them, and then so instantly crushed when Carlos introduces him as a friend. He’s upset all the way home, and Carlos – for reasons TK doesn’t understand yet – is acting like it’s not a big deal. TK storms out because that’s how he copes with things at this stage in his emotional development, and leaves some hurtful words for Carlos as a parting gift. Not a mature way to handle things, but in a later scene with Owen and Gwyn it’s revealed how hurt TK really is. “I wanted him to tell them who I was and what I mean to him,” TK says, all dejected. “Maybe he did. Maybe we are just friends.” Because Alex also told TK "I love you", and then cheated on him. TK’s lingering Alex trauma bubbles back up; fuck not again, not another man who says ‘I love you’ to my face but then hides me and doesn’t really want forever with me, even though that isn’t really what’s happening with Carlos.

If it wasn’t for Alex, TK probably wouldn’t have been half as upset by any of this and would have been more receptive to hearing an explanation, but Carlos doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.

It’s just such good conflict. They’re both right, and they’re both wrong. They’re both operating from places of extreme hurt that isn’t the other person’s fault, and they’re both operating from places of not understanding the extent of what the other is going through. And in the scene where they make up you can see how much love there is and how much they both really want to understand the other better. It’s such a beautiful way to love someone, to say to each other “let me meet you where you are and love you the way you need to be loved, even if it’s different from how I need to be loved.”

[shootingstar-scuderia]

tomorrow never knows

summary: oscar knows a lot of things but when logan seat gets taken from him it turns out that oscar really doesn't know anything at all

(or my brain is still stuck on australia 24 and one (1) line from taylor swift and phoebe bridger's nothing new )

Oscar knows it before the news even breaks. He’s hanging around the garage, antsy, waiting for one of his engineers to get back to him about the data they were going over earlier.

He’s been on edge all day really, anxiety chewing on him in ways that don’t make sense. He’s at his home race, surrounded by fans who love him, who are excited to see him race and somehow that’s not the part he’s nervous about.

He’s nervous about Logan. Worried about whatever is happening behind closed doors at Williams. There hasn’t been any official statement yet, but the writing is on the wall. 

There have been whispers of it all over the paddock, murmurs of “that’s tough luck” or “what a shit thing to do to your driver” throughout the McLaren garage. No one is too worried about it really, Logan’s not their driver, but Oscar can still feel something still hangs thick in the air. It’s the knowing he thinks, the waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And then the other shoe does drop.

The other shoe drops and it’s like nothing has even happened. Everyone in the garage is still going about their jobs, unaffected by the news. Head down, it’s not your team, it’s not McLaren. And Oscar thinks that he would be the same way too, if it was someone else and not logan. He thinks he’d be able to get by on a shared look with Lando and a murmured “horrible.”

But it’s not. It’s Logan. And Oscar is with a rage that simmers under the profound sadness he feels. Because he knows what this means for Logan and he knows what this means for them.

It’s almost unconscious the way his feet move. One moment he’s in the McLaren garage and the next he's in Williams trying to find Logan. Trying not to think about the way his eyes water when he’s distraught. The way he shifts his feet from side to side, when he’s antsy and desperate to be anywhere but where he is right now.

When Oscar does see him it’s not a pretty sight. He can see the panic in Logan’s body, torn between fight or flight, surrounded by his team in a way that Oscar knows is suffocating rather than comforting. 

He breaks through the little circle that’s formed and grabs Logan by the shoulder to pull him away from everyone. Oscar doesn’t even care that people try to stop them, single mindedly focused on corralling Logan down the corridor and into his driver’s room.

“Osc, what are you- they still- I’m so,” Logan’s neck cranes to look behind him, but his feet keep the marching pace Oscar has set.

Oscar gives Logan a quick squeeze, “I know,” he says. “I know. They can wait.”

He sits Logan down on the little massage table that’s been set up and settles down next to him, pulling him close. “Come ‘ere.”

And that all it takes for Logan to throw his arms over Oscar’s shoulders and bury himself into him.

“It’s so unfair.”

“I know Logs, it’s not fair at all.”

“I know.” It seems to be all Oscar can say and he hates it. Because it’s not really true is it? He doesn’t really know, does he? He doesn't know how it feels, he doesn't know why Williams did it, he doesn’t know anything at all.

“What’s worse is that I think I could have done it. I could have gotten us points.”

And the only thing Oscar can do is pull Logan even closer to him, “they’re making a mistake, you would have gotten points. I know it.”

Logan doesn’t cry, he just lets out a shuddering breath, his body sagging against Oscar’s.

“No you don’t,” Logan says his voice wavering, “you don’t know that.”

And Oscar knows he’s right. He knows that they’ll never get the chance to know if Logan could have gotten points this weekend. That they were robbed of it before they even could figure it out.

“And I know what people will say,” he continues, “I know they’ll be saying that it makes sense from a points perspective, that they did what they had to do. And they’ll say that I’d be better suited in Indy, at something else.” 

Logan sighs, his whole body collapsing in on itself. “But I don’t want to be better at something else, I want to be better at this.”

And Oscar knows that too. Because he knows Logan, because he knows that it was always the dream. That it was supposed to be the two of them, on the podium together, winning championships.

It feels impossible to know if this holds true now. A couple years ago, when they were moving from F3 to F2 and winning, they knew there was a chance. But when they were younger, they knew this without a doubt. They knew that it would be Logan and Oscar, Oscar and Logan, racing each other until time itself stopped.

How could they have known everything at 15 and 16, but nothing at 22 and 23?

He’ll come with Logan to the track tomorrow Oscar thinks, hide him away in McLaren for a little bit until he has to go and play nice with everyone for the cameras. And he’ll hold Logan close tonight and stop him from thinking of the future, of the cliffside of legacy they’re teetering on the edge of. That much he knows and that’s enough for tomorrow. And for the day after that, and for the day after that. 

Oscar knows that Williams didn’t make the right choice, but they made a choice and they’ll continue to make choices. Choices about Logan’s future in F1, choices that will shape his image as a driver. Choices that they can’t control and ones they won’t know about but will have to face together.

Oscar can only hope that when the time comes they’ll make the right choices.

[small-sinclair]

More Band!Au Sinclair HCs that no one asked for:

Au belongs to: @arkunder

Bo and Lester had a drinking contest on stage. Vincent was so disappointed.

They play rock-paper-scissors if one of them has to do an interview.

Ask Vincent about his hidden goldfish snacks! He has them hidden everywhere. He’ll just pull a little bag out of nowhere sometimes.

Bo is, indeed, in therapy. Not for drinking but for mental health.

They once live streamed Bo and Vincent playing chess for a charity event. They are both really good at playing.

Lester went off stage for a moment and came back with nachos. He didn’t play the drums for a set, so the twins did the heavy lifting.

The three brothers had the world’s hottest soup to see who can eat more. No one was surprised when Lester won.

They actually love playing catch! They have baseball gloves and a ball they bring. Before a show, they play catch and chill.

Vincent has a base that looks like a mermaid tail.

They went to a nursing home and played for an elder fan. She was 97 year old and loved heavy metal music. She died a few days after later. In honor of her, Vickey wrote a song and named it after her: “Lilith”.

One time, someone passed a fiddle to the stage and Bo took it. He opened up the case and started tearing into it. The crowd went nuts.

They have sibling tattoos. Bo has a sun, Vincent has a moon, and Lester has a star. It’s on their back.

Bo once sung in French during a song out of boredom. The girls and the gays went nuts.

Vincent likes smoking lavender cigarettes.

A kid placed a flower crown on Lester’s head. He nearly cried.

During a meet and greet at a convention, Bo held a crying baby and calmed them down to let the staff member take a little break.

Whenever they go to award shows, Bo wears his black suit and tie; Vincent wears a three piece suit with a Vincent von Gough themed tie; and Lester is in his finest blue jeans, shiny cowboy boots, a nice plaid, and wears his Luisiana belt buckle.

During an outside show, Lester came on stage with an opossum in his arms. Where did it come from? No one knows.

Whenever Vincent goes out to do charity work and Bo comes with him, the twins like to have fun! They’ll color and play with the kids, let them draw on their arms, and put things in their hair. At the end of the day, they do a group photo with everyone they spent time with and hang the photo in the bus. Vincent puts one in his base case.

Bo has an emotional support stuffie named Snuffles. It’s an alligator.

Vincent stopped the show and hopped off stage. Someone brought their cat and he wanted to pet it.

Speaking of cats, whenever they do an outdoor show, Vincent found a kitten stuck in the sound system under the stage. He crawled under the stage and brought them out. Shes named Soundwave and is loved by Jonesy and the fans.

Bo loves playing the piano before the show starts. He’ll come out in his heavy metal outfit and sits next to the keyboard and play classical music like Mozart.

On Saturdays during the summer, they take the day to go to farmer markets and pop-up sales in the little towns by the city. They wear ‘disguises’ when they go. Some people are able to figure them out, some don’t.

When Louisiana flooded, the boys went back home and helped cleaned up the town (I’m assuming Ambrose is still an alive town). Bo helps rebuild houses and sheds, Lester helps cleaning the mud and the muck along with returning any loose critters to the DNR for recovery, and Vincent cooks d and pass out food at a crisis center. If they have to, they’ll give blood.

SIDE NOTE:

Whenever they go home to Ambrose, everyone treats them normal as if they’re not famous. It gives them some space to breathe.

They don’t stay for too long, maybe a weekend or a week. If they stay longer, Bo is down at the garage, Vincent is in the art and hobby store, and Lester cleans up the roads and road kill. They also take this time to help their next door neighbor, Mr. and Mrs. Lane. They’re like grandparents to them.

They live in their own house while Trudy and their father are in the house from the movie. Because Trudy doesn’t approve of them doing this, she doesn’t visit them, and Victor ignores them.

[starseed-twenty]

Venus Signs and their romantic ways

Made this thread on Twitter @starseedtwenty (follow for all my updates) and thought I’d share it here.

🌹 Aries Venus 🌹

- They love in a way: That is loud, proud and full of passion. They don't think twice or get indecisive or play cat & mouse when they are interested in you. They give what they can from the jump, and try to make you theirs in whatever way they can, BUT if you play weird as time goes they *shake their head* and just move on from you w/o you even knowing it.

- What they seek: A love that is sure, steady and wholesome. They want to know and feel that you are their person and are not scared to show that. They want a love that is active (in bed, in life, in any situation) and not something that's boring. A love where you guys can be direct and open with each other.

- Things not to do with them: Don't play games or play hard to get for too long (just enough to lure them in, after you get them, be softer). Don't contemplate too much or wonder too much if you should do, be, have, say, etc, anything with them (just let yourself be, because with them you can be comfortable). And don't love them more than you love yourself (they are loveable beings, but if you give too much, it slightly shows a lack of self-respect which turns them off very quickly).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn.

🌹 Taurus Venus 🌹

- They love in a way: That is honest, dependable and very supportive. Their love is a perfect mix of poetic and traditional (making them husband/wifey material, even if they don't wanna admit it). They know how to stick by your side through thick and thin, unless you truly, truly hurt them, then they have no choice but to leave. But on the down low, they really don't mind spending forever with you when they love you.

- What they seek: A love that is genuine, stable and long-term, a love that they can write a story about and tell to their grandchildren while they both sit in the nursery home holding hands, a love that contains devotion, support, and pleasure. Their partner must also be able to please all five sense and give all five love languages [because they know how to please & give them all as well].

- Things not to do with them: Don't be flaky or hard to ground (they can sense that easily and it will turn them off) because their love is patient and grounded. Do not rush them, do not rush what you want with them (let them be and they'll come around if they really like you, but do make sure to show your love). And do not be aggressive, no matter what.

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Taurus, Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces.

🌹 Gemini Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is fun, open-minded and stimulating. Their love is pretty much something out of the movies, an experience for books. You can't say you're bored with them cause they make you laugh, think, and feel like you can be weird with them. They love in a way that just makes you feel like 'as long as I've got you, life's a breeze' because rough situations become lighter, and happy times become a more enjoyable experience.

- What they seek: A love that's full of memories, laughter, joy and great experiences. They want you to be their best friend as well as their partner in one. They want to feel like they can share their dumbest thoughts as well as their deepest secrets with you. They want someone who they can laugh out loud with and be open to their ideas of things to do, as well as someone who can hug them and cry with when they're sad and won't make them feel weird, just always be there with them.

- Things not to do with them: Don't dumb them down and make them feel incompetent, feel bad or feel weird or as if they're a bore (like them for who they are or move along). Do not be too serious or boring, because they will get bored rather quick (be fun and comfortable to be around, if they have an idea, be open to it). And don't pressure them to make decisions or plans or anything like that (they like it when it's a joint decision that's cool for both of you guys).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius.

🌹 Cancer Venus 🌹

- Love in a way that: That is caring, gentle and sensitive to your needs. They are pretty sweet and tender when they love you a lot and hope that you are to. They are also rather shy and coy though, so they aren't very assertive with their love, but hope that you can sense them and that they can sense you as well and give you the love that you need. Either way, their love is just one that is soft and feels like a warm hug in a cold day.

- What they seek: A love that is pure, consistent and feels like home. Sometimes their emotions (with Cancer being ruled by the moon) can fluctuate and they can run to their shell when they're feeling sad or just not feeling up to much, so they seek someone who's able to stick with their moods sometimes, and love them wholly for who they are. They want a love that overall kind, nurturing and emotionally supportive.

- Things not to do with them: Do not be cold or insensitive to them (they don't take it lightly, and will cut you off). Don't be superficial or aloof (have depth and authenticity, that's a huge tick for them). Don't be laidback and relaxed in your efforts to get them, they are already pretty shy so if you're also shy or laidback it does nothing (show them that you want them and be serious, but don't be aggressive, do it in a gentle manner).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Pisces.

🌹 Leo Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is warm, youthful, and confident. [Since Leo is ruled by the Sun] They let their love shine to you and hit the rays to everyone, enough to make people envious of how much they love their partner. They don't mind grand gestures and also like the little gestures of love (in giving and in receiving). Their love is basically 'power couple' mixed with 'two little kids who like each other and end up being sweethearts til old age'.

- What they seek: A love that's wholesome, fun and cool. A love that's childlike enough where you guys can run/race on the sand at the beach on a sunny day and play outdoor games, as well as mature enough where you guys can handle adulthood together and talk about deep stuff in a way where it's not weird. A love where people are jealous of what you guys have.

- Things not to do with them: Don't hide your feelings or act weird with them if you like them (be honest, open, confident and warm). Don't pick at their faults or insecurities (look at the good sides, not the bad sides). And don't humiliate them ever. EVER (be respectful and honorable).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius.

🌹 Virgo Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is kind, attentive and a little unpredictable. They have versatility, so some moments they will show their love, and other moments they will become shy or just fall back. It's just something they do, doesn't mean they love you less, (ac if you still love them through their weird moments, they love you more). They also love in a way where they sense you and feel like they should know what to do or say, making them pretty intuitive.

- What they seek: A love that is compassionate, steady, and a love that seems perfect. It doesn't even have to be, but if it feels like it then it's fine. They want something where they feel loved and understood. Because they love in a way that is steady (like in a way, they're always ready to give you love and be compassionate in their actions) they want something that's reciprocated like that as well.

- Things not to do with them: Don't be dramatic or wild or extreme with things you do (that turns them off pretty quickly, because "why are you embarrassing me/yourself?" is their question). Don't look like a mess who can't take care of themselves (a clean, independent, well-spoken person is a big turn on for them). Don't look for things deeply when it's all simple (be logical and smart and realistic).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn.

🌹 Libra Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is assertive, sensual, and giving. They love as if they are writing a romantic novel and they are the main character. They love in a way where they are very much able to share and see you as a companion, and give what they can to the relationship. They are able to prioritize you as their partner, as well as prioritize themselves and see themselves as the coolest beings, which is how they are able to be assertive. But they get butthurt if you don't appreciate them.

- What they seek: A love that is balanced, aesthetical and romantic. The keyword here is balanced. They want a fusion of everything. Something deep and also lighthearted. Something fiery and also relaxed. Something adventurous and also homey. Something traditional and also modern/futuristic. Something routine-like and also unpredictable. They want it all, and they want to experience it with someone who wants it like this just as much as they do.

- Things not to do with them: Do not be extreme or go overboard in the way you do things [with them] (have a balance and give just enough). Do not be to shy or laidback/lame either (that turns them off as well because they don't want to give too much either, they want to be met halfway). And don't rush them or pressure them in a way (they will get turned off so quick).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Gemini, Leo, Libra, Aquarius.

🌹 Scorpio Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is  deep, intense, and fulfilling. They love so deep that sometimes it hurts them, they just have this ocean of love inside of them and they want to pour it out so bad, yet they get scared or overthink and end up just holding back or giving little drops. If they were to give the love they have, it would be overwhelming to some, which is why they hold back sometimes. For some though, who love something deep and sensual, then a Scorpio venus is perfect for them.

- What they seek: A love that is genuine, and emotional, and transformational. One that makes them feel that there is a lot going on. A load of emotions, a load of thoughts, a load of memories, a load of experiences, and all of it is authentic and true, something that cannot be faked or found anywhere else. Something like a thrill but deeper and more long-term, and they feel comfortable enough to let out all that they feel for you, and you will still stick by them forever.

- Things not to do with them: Don't be fake or superficial (they don't care about the 'outer' things, they love the inner things). Don't hide or keep stuff from them ('honesty is the best policy' is the biggest note to keep if you're dealing them. Even if it hurts them, they want what's real). And don't be seasonal (stick with them through the dark and the light, not just when you feel like it).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.

🌹 Sagittarius Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is enticing, philosophical, and very enthusiastic. They love in a way that's enthusiastic/dramatic because they are living for the moment and they like to give their all (being ruled by Jupiter) when they can. In some ways they are also pretty philosophical, so their love can be one where you give and gain knowledge with them or just generally expand your mind through their thoughts and actions. Which is why travelling is something they love.

- What they seek: A love that is liberating, fiery, and about the bigger things. A love that is a breathe of fresh air where they feel understood and they can learn a lot from you and you from them. A love where you make them think, make them laugh, and make them feel free & cool. Just a love where you can go on adventures for a lifetime with them.

- Things not to do with them: Don't ever be a nag or someone who's highly opinionated or likes to criticize all the time (major turn off for them). Do not try to pin them down or force them to commit to something (they probably might if they like you, but secretly check out if they feel like you're caging their freedom). Don't be repetitive, especially with something that's boring. 

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius.

🌹 Capricorn Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That has self-control and is respectful and mature. They love with a lot of maturity, my goodness. They know how to be serious about what they have with you when they truly love you, and with them, they'd hate to loose you (especially after establishing a solid foundation) which makes breaking up a far-fetched idea if they love you. But well, if you hurt them or act immature or become unfaithful to them, they can and will leave you, after much consideration.

- What they seek: A love that is serious, secure and long-term. A patient love that doesn't stress them or make them feel shaky, as if it's something for fun or short-term. They obvs want something fun, but something *for fun* is not that interesting to them, they won't see you as 'a keeper' if there's that vibe. They want a serious and more committed love has faith and dedication to the connection, this comforts them a lot.

- Things not to do with them: Do not be aggressive or dramatic or whine too much (maturity turns them on more than anything). Don't act immature and be too flaky or playful or indecisive (it gives them an 'unserious' vibe which they don't like). Don't be overly sensitive or emotional (cause they won't know what to do or say, since they're chilled/mature with their emotions).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn.

🌹 Aquarius Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is quirky, transparent and very cool. Aquarius are masters of making things seem cool (or at least try to), and so with Venus being there, so is their love. A cool, vibrant, funny, quirky love, that is quite transparent. They have not much to hide, if they love you, they'll show you, if they don't, then there's nothing to show. They are also chilled and generous with their love, so they show it to everyone, and may show you that same side they show to another person/stranger.

- What they seek: A love that is interesting, communicative, and down to earth. An interesting love to them is one that keeps them feeling refreshed and free to be their weird selves (as well as see your cool, weird side) and not conjoined or 'caged' in something boring. They want to think and communicate funny and cool stuff with you, and for you to be the same. They want something worth giving their shy feelings to, something warm and comfortable, but not overwhelming or possessive.

- Things not to do with them: Do not be possessive or clingy or overwhelming with your emotions to them (it rubs them off lol). Don't be fake or pretentious (keep it real with them, in a chilled way. they appreciate honesty a lot). Don't be arrogant and loud, especially in a negative way (be humble, but love yourself and show it).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Aries, Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.

🌹 Pisces Venus 🌹

- Love in a way: That is dreamy, devoted and never-ending. When they love, they loooove. They don't give just the hand or half an arm, they give their entire body, and they love with their whole heart, unlike any other sign. It's amazing. They are also very forgiving. But with all of this, they are also very sensitive, so they get hurt easily and the more you hurt them, the more closed-off they become, without you even noticing. Other than that, their love is also almost movie-like because of how dreamy and unrealistic they want it to be.

- What they seek: A love that is comfortable, faithful and kind. What they want it someone who is compassionate, someone who is also spiritual or believes in fateful/universal energies, and someone who makes them feel understood with their crazy little mind that can overthink. Their hearts can also overlove, so they want someone who can be the cup for them to pour their love into, and not someone who will run away or play games with their love. They are also ready to receive and be a cup to your love if it's as caring and dedicated as theirs, though their love can sometimes seem hidden or unspoken, but they feel it.

- Things not to do with them: Do not be rough or cold (be gentle in a stern way). Don't take them for granted (idk how many times I've seen Pisceans not being loved enough when they're there, but cried for when they're gone. you will regret it if you don't appreciate what they have to give). And don't be too honest/blunt or boring (things must be funnier and sweeter than they are. they like the dream/movie/fantasy state of things, you stating the reality bores them).

- Most Compatible with: Venus in Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces.

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P.S - It's all just from the vibes, not down to the specifics. you as a person are unique.