#that title is so funny and out of place without context lol

[empty-dream]

Don't let God take certain things from you, such as control of your emotions and your reason to live.

Orb: On the Movements of the Earth episode 17. I could make a lot of money with this book… maybe

[corviiids]

companion write-up to the fic i just posted, 'call me by', which is a lawlight bodyswap fic inspired by your name / kimi no na wa.

don't read this post without reading the fic lol it is not going to make any sense!! im posting this because i think the fic is (well, sort of intentionally) a little vague and it might be fun to provide more context for anyone interested.

you obviously can read the fic without reading this though. this is just a thought dump. :)

this is technically an au, but i wrote it to be theoretically canon compliant if you squeeze things around and close your eyes a bit (as long as you don't think about timeframes lol and how many days are lapsing). i did fudge their ages a bit because otherwise light would be about 15, and i wanted him to be 17-18 because i think that makes more sense for him at this stage in his life lol. otherwise, i think it's actually kind of fun to imagine this happening alongside canon.

light leaves notes in L's home when he's in L's body and vice versa. generally they leave notes at regular intervals. longer paragraph breaks means a longer period between.

the mechanics of the bodyswap for the purposes of this fic:

like in your name, a swap starts when they wake up and finishes when they go to sleep.

once they swap back, they can't remember the names or faces (or any other identifying information, like career titles or voices) of people they personally encountered.

this includes themselves (i.e. if light in L's body encounters himself, he will not recognise it as himself and won't remember himself when he's back in his own body) and other familiar people (i.e. light won't remember that L works with his father, light wouldn't recognise L if he met him in his own time)

but if a person could be identified with public information, then they can retain their memory of that person (i.e. L doesn't struggle to remember ryuga hideki).

light is two years before L. i loosely used the anime timeline, so the kira investigation kicks off in about 2006-7, which is when L is. light is in 2004.

light nicknames himself asahi for no particular reason and nicknames L ryuga hideki after his sister's favourite idol. LABB confirms that L likes to take his pseudonyms from his past, so i thought it would be funny if the reason why L named light&soichiro 'asahi' and himself 'ryuga hideki' in canon is because light-of-the-past came up with those names already. (in canon that means that light would recognise those names immediately of course.)

when light's dresser catches fire as a result of L's meddling, it's not exactly the same trap as the one light sets in canon, but i think it's something similar because that's the way light's brain works. it does minimal damage but he still gets in trouble haha.

L figures out who light is pretty early on, which is why he's so careful and reluctant when light persists in trying to connect with L outside of the swapping. he also (unbeknownst to light) starts concealing information about the investigation from light because he believes light will later become kira and doesn't want to give him an edge.

light knows that L is a famous detective, and might get a vaaague inkling, but i don't think it fully clicks for him.

the body-swapping stops right before the yotsuba sting in the helicopter. after it stops, light doesn't open L's note for a long time because he is hoping they will swap again.

after light opens the note, he realises that L had known perfectly well who he was and struggles to understand why L didn't tell him + why L emphasised so hard not to open that note until after they'd stopped swapping. he figures, or fears, that the reason they stopped swapping is because L died, which is more or less the truth.

the last note takes place in 2006 after light picks up the death note and finally puts the pieces together that he was the kira suspect that L had been investigating. at this point he realises that he has been given the chance he'd been hoping for to save L's life by choosing not to become kira. his choice whether or not to take it, but........

[yuseirra]

Thanks for keeping quiet about the spoilers if you've been aware of them~ it (being spoiled)had been happening for me over and over for the past month and it had been getting painful, I'd have blocked people who sent that to me at this rate. I was able to.. see it for myself in peace this time hehe

I've seen the full...spoilers (like the whole ch 162)

here's my raw thoughts on that.

I'm honestly not amused... not so surprised either though...

I do hope there's something more to this because there are things that I feel are SO left unexplored, there's a lot I don't like, but if this is all there is to it, it could be, I guess.

I still think.. Fatal is Kamiki's song. That song's vibes IS TRULY what he does feel about Ai, but in a pretty obsessive way I guess... it's not what Aqua would hold towards Ai (or others, like Ruby), that much is made clear in this chapter I feel? and?? Mephisto too?? That HAS to be his song? because it's about wanting to reach out to someone and wanting to meet that person who's already deceased, rather than drifting further apart by sacrificing for their sake. Ruby is alive, and Aqua's in this for her sake, right? And if Kamiki wants to do something about Ai, it should be about him trying to "feel her" or "get closer to her". Aqua and Kamiki's doing the opposite thing here and I feel what Kamiki's doing matches that song more.

at least, that's how I feel about it.

The rest is in the read more:

(I jotted this down as soon as I saw the chapter, in another language~)

I saw spoilers, and seriously???

How do you even "help" someone like this…

I don’t really understand this kind of thought structure or logic…

Wouldn't it be better without the movie arc? If so, I wouldn’t have been so confused either…

If it’s any comfort, I was right about Aqua’s emotions—Aqua really does live for Ruby. I wrote that in an analysis I made earlier(JUST A SINGLE DAY AGO)

(I wrote: Back to the title topic—It’s really obvious that Fatal is Kamiki’s song because,

Though Ai is someone very special and important to Aqua, I think at this point, Ruby is even more precious to him. Aqua still has people around him who are alive, and he has to live for them. Living for the dead is exhausting and hard. There’s so much for him to look forward to (which is, in a way, the essence of what Kamiki says to Aqua in chapter 161). Aqua has Ruby. Ruby is incredibly important to him. He also has Kana and Akane. He’s not at the point where he lives solely for Ai, nor should he be.

Kamiki doesn’t have people like that. Ai is his only reason. To die, to live- whatever he's doing, I feel he's in it for what he THINKS is for her sake.)

I got this part EXACTLY right, didn't I?

For Aqua, Ruby is definitely the most precious person. It’s true that the balance of his life has shifted from Ai to Ruby…

But this is kind of funny… even though it’s a pretty common trope!! I seriously already drew a scene just like this??? The context is different, but still.

In this comic!

What the heck? LOL, so now I feel weird.

THOSE ARE HANDS. IT'S SKETCHY, BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR WHEN I DREW HIM BEING DRAGGED AWAY

I was honestly surprised. I drew this back in September 21st? LOL.

Right now, the story feels a bit disconnected,

Because it makes me feel like Ai’s video or her request… wasn’t really necessary.

If the twins’ reincarnation was really just for Ruby, then Ai was just… there to play the role of the mother? To carry Aqua and Ruby as a vessel..?;

Did it really need to be Ai’s child?

Also, does that mean Aqua’s mission was just to die in Ruby’s place?;;?

It could’ve been phrased like 'Take down Kamiki who's grown evil.' It seems like he’s really deteriorated. How does someone end up like that…

Doesn’t Kamiki need some sort of exorcism at this point? The way he talks, it’s like he’s possessed by an evil spirit.

If in this chapter, there was a scene where he says he wants to see or feel Ai and then manipulates people and kills them, I would’ve accepted it immediately, like, 'Yeah, this guy has to die here.' But there’s still nothing about what happened with Yura or if he killed anyone… there’s no clear image. It's about him saying he can’t die yet, and it’s still just about him wanting to see Ai forever. (And that phrase—doesn’t it overlap with the song IDOL, TV VER, where someone in the chorus goes:

(You're my savior)

(My true savior)

(My saving grace)

(I'm with you forever)

(By your side, forever)?

He's the guy who talks about forever when it comes to Ai, I guess?

The glitch effect and the white star turning into a black star… It really looks like he’s the black star. Or maybe a corrupted white star.

So, what’s he been doing all this time?

If he’s this wicked, why don’t they show us any evidence to back it up? Even as background material, wouldn’t that make sense? It feels like it’s not just laziness in drawing… we should be shown what he’s been up to during this time.

I guess it’s true he tried to kill Ruby oh my god…what kind of guy did Ai date.. I can't believe it. If he dies here, he won’t be able to go to the same place as Ai, but he should at least get smacked by her in hell for what he’s done. What was that even supposed to be…

The story is hard to understand because, when he looked at Ruby and his eyes lit up, why was it a white star? Does killing Ruby mean he can see Ai forever?

Honestly… I still don’t really understand the whole 'shine forever' thing, so it doesn’t emotionally resonate with me.

It feels like this isn’t everything.

Is he really just split between two personalities? What is this guy’s deal? If he’s broken this badly, when did it start? Did he deteriorate right after they broke up and then turn into this person obsessed with Ai being the most important thing in the world?

Aqua won’t die.

If Ai’s will has even the slightest meaning, Kamiki shouldn’t end here, either.

If he’s truly irredeemable, then sure, it makes sense for him to die now. But if the songs are some kind of foreshadowing in ANY way, something might have driven him to become this twisted.

I just don’t see the point of turning him into a completely senseless madman…;;

He really seems to have fallen, but shouldn’t there be more to him having become this way than just having been dumped? Being dumped can turn a "noble" soul into this mess? I don't think so.

I feel like something's gotten him to become this way but who knows? If the author wants to explore it, they will, if they want to wrap it up like this, they would..

well, for Kamiki fans, I bet this will be the LOWEST point he'll ever be (or maybe that we find more dead bodies he hid on the news and go 'wow.. so he DID that' and it'd get even worse) so on the bright side, there's only something..you'll feel you can look forward to. Ai's wish is our only hope, why IS that thrown in there? They didn't have to make her say that, so I'm still bothered because i feel that arc somehow.. is a buildup that's led us to recognize saving him is what Ai's wanted.

It's not too long ago since that was addressed, so would they really make it go to waste, I wonder. Because if this guy isn't helped, it's not just about Kamiki as a character but; it's about leaving what Ai wanted as a lost cause.

That guy has seriously gone nuts though, I'm kind of worried not for the manga's sake but for his... what made him like that?? Is it really only him that's brought that upon himself because, I feel he used to be a really kind soul? Or did I just misinterpret him all along? He doesn't seem sane now... I wonder if I'll be able to pity him or not, it'll really depend - whether if he's what he's chosen to be or was possessed/against his will that he became like this.

is it hiatus next week? I hope not, right?

I guess I can.. just sit down and watch whatever they throw at me now. The art was pretty good! I don't like the chapter! but I also feel like regardless of where the story heads (may this chapter be all there is to it or having more twists to it later), this chapter WAS something that was planned. That's why I'm not that surprised.

[thebardbullseye]

Darkness with a Hint of Light

something that's probably only of interest to me is that i've been writing a (music) piece inspired by the Man in Black/ King of Night/ Arc 4. I discovered something funny about it that unintentionally references ep 46

(wip audio clip at the bottom of the post)

The piece is written using something called "dorian mode", which just means that it describes the nature of the relationships between the notes (i.e., it's really similar to a minor scale except the sixth note in the scale is different).

Anyway I've been working on this for several months now (off and on- I think since around mid-August 2024). The way my music writing process works is I typically have some tune or melody just kind of appear in my brain? It's not really writing at first, more like a musical idea? (IDK it's really myopic to me but that's what happens, almost like the muses of greece). And then I build/write the full piece around it. I'm not formally educated in composition but have a good grasp of theory, notation, and form, which helps. (Also as a side note, I've never written "fan fiction" in the popular sense of the term-- I think my version of "fan fiction" is writing music, which is something I'm more familiar with the conventions, stylings, and storytelling of than I am "creative writing.")

Ok so anyway I "wrote" this little ditty, which just happened to be in dorian mode. I had been trying to figure out how to set it to words/lyrics (something about night and roads idk; it's in 3/4 time which to me makes the meter/rhythm difficult), but nothing was really sticking.

So I pivoted to an orchestral piece (which is threatening to balloon beyond its scope... trying to reign in ideas/instrument choice).

In the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about what makes something Great and how to apply that to my creative process. (Abstractly, the gist is that you need some kind of understanding, a way to communicate that understanding, and by way of understanding, also be able to analyze its parts and wholes for deeper understanding). Like I said, I've been Thinking a lot. And ep 46 was also centered on this idea thematically, so that was good timing lol. A lot of stuff clicked into place on Tuesday.

I swear I'm getting to the funny thing but needed to give context first. I revisited the WIP piece yesterday because we learned a lot more about the Man in Black. And, because I'm trying to be more thoughtful, analytical, and intentional with writing (music and words), I googled dorian mode to research basic theory and emotions it evokes.

I found this awesome, well-written, and surprisingly comprehensive yet high-level blog post: https://composercode.com/the-dorian-mode-darkness-with-a-hint-of-light/

I'm sorry, "Darkness with a Hint of Light?!" Where the fuck have I heard that before?! You mean like the exact characterization of the King of Night, the Pilgrim Under Stars???

[In the style of Lucy talking to Schroeder about Jingle Bells from A Charlie Brown Christmas: "Can you play music for the Man in Black? You know, the Man in Black, the King of Night, the Pilgrim Under Stars, the Stranger, Lucio's Ferry? One of the Spirits Three? Darkness, roads, and fireflies and all that stuff? The one who doesn't breathe? And inky blackness dotted with stars and shimmering light? 🎶 THAT'S IT!!!"]

Anyway, the article is an interesting read (even if you're not a musician). And, if you read this far, you can listen to it (as of March 7, I haven't exported the newest version yet). The main melody comes in around 1:50 by the oboe.

There's other things I could elaborate on, like the instrumentation throughout, the working title being Reverie (daydream/wandering) long before Eioghorain's speech about dreaming, or that I added the marimba as a reference to the ticking of the watch (I had bass drum in a earlier version that's going to get added back for reference to the ferry).

[sameteeth]

anyways, i do think its really interesting that chuuya figures out that dazai was putting pieces into place to get him ousted from the sheep like a month ahead of time... its also really interesting to consider WHY dazai did it and the implications it carries. dazai watches shirase and yuan pressure and guilt chuuya about "doing his part" for the sheep as a person with an ability, then immediately takes action to relieve pressure from chuuya

which is kinda funny bc dazai at least in the short term is following what shirase is saying - dazai has the ability to help save the hostages, and he does lol. demon prodigy indeed. MORE IMPORTANTLY though. dazai recognizes that chuuya is being controlled by the sheep even though he is the leader. chuuya and mori make good comparisons here - this arc starts with mori bemoaning his responsibility as the boss of the port mafia, and we see chuuya consistently failing to do his responsibility as the leader of the sheep. he even denies the title of king, stating that it's only his ability that puts him above the rest. to digress a bit, i think this is partly why when chuuya joins the port mafia he so quickly submits to them - he is no longer the sole ability user, and thus the responsibility doesnt rely entirely on him to protect the group. something to be said here about the way bsd almost never touches on the ability user vs non-ability user dichotomy but ill save that. back to the main point. dazai takes it upon himself to free chuuya from the sheep. he acknowledges the limitations chuuya has to function under as the leader of the sheep and the weight of the responsibility he bears for no reason other than his ability

but then! dazai forces chuuya into the port mafia to save him from the sheep ! doesnt that seem contradictory??? isnt that hypocritical? chuuya seems pissed about it!

granted, I'd be pissed too if my friends stabbed me with a switch covered in rat poison then tried to gun me down. regardless, chuuya can see how dazai set him up to be outcast from the sheep without having to break the tie himself. chuuya is loyal to the sheep, even when they distrust him. But! this gives chuuya a chance to escape, even if it's to the port mafia. i think the important thing to focus on here is that the port mafia is an Actual organization made up of adults. the sheep are a bunch of kids, ones that are easily led. the limited pieces we see of them are shirase and yuan, who throw temper tantrums and try to clumsily manipulate chuuya when he doesn't listen to them. they admit to stealing alcohol from mafia-adjacent territory and just generally seem immature... because theyre kids. but what we see of the mafia is much different. mori is a strong leader because he is smart and rational. he thinks ahead. he, unlike chuuya, is the leader because he wants to protect yokohama, and understands the sacrifice necessary to do so. chuuya is the leader because no one could beat him in a fight. the port mafia offers a chance for growth (ignoring that these are children in the mafia ok play with me here) as a fighter and as a leader - chuuya becomes an exec when he's still a teenager i think (theres not a specific age anywhere i can find) and is a much more calm and smart fighter once he joins.

so it's good (play with me) that chuuya is able to join the port mafia. BUT he would never have been able to leave if dazai had not forced his hand. this paradox - the idea that chuuya obtains freedom from being forced to leave something he doesn't want to - is SUPER interesting to consider !! here i will dissolve into rambles. i learned about this paradox in the context of mary wollstonecraft and the vindication of the rights of women - wollstonecraft believed only educated people could truly be free, as they were not only free of oppression but also no longer slaves to their emotions, and were able to have opportunities and use their education for their own betterment. the situation with chuuya reminded me of this, because with the sheep chuuya had no one to rely on or to teach him, limiting his capacity for growth and ultimately his freedom. the sheep were reliant on him for protection, and feared him, but chuuya had everything to lose if he were to try and leave the sheep. he had nothing without them, and they needed him for his power. but they were beholden to their emotions, immature and uncertain how to actually get power. their primary motivators for action are retaliation - dazai mentions this when chuuya attacks him, and shirase and yuan mention this when they are urging chuuya to help them. but when chuuya talks to mori and koyo (<3) about their actions, both of them are much more forward thinking than that. mori is very cunning and sly, and koyo tells chuuya that even if things go south in the meeting she's taking him to to, they know how to move forward. chuuya's world has expanded beyond the sheep's limited gaze.

of course, he's still trapped in the port mafia, but if you REALLY want to discuss free will..... we'll be here all fucking night. free will is really hard to pin down and i always have to talk about determinism and its a lot to wrap ur head around and i just like drawing connections between stuff i like

[stalebagels]

I recently have been playing Rimworld a lot and so I made a colony and based all of them on the Strike Force. It is a miracle they've survived as long as they have. Here's some of the stuff that's happened since the birth of this clusterfuck because I can't resist sharing it;

(long wall of text below that'll make more sense if you've played the game lol - could be funny out of context though)

- Jon has gotten mauled by mad animals at least fifteen times including by; a rabbit, a pack of nine yorkies, an ibex, and three wolves. Has lost his left eye to an arctic wolf and gotten the plague twice. Has also been shot numerous times and had a lightning strike set both his bedroom and himself on fire. He is a danger magnet and every time I turn around he's downed again. Tamed a rat called Lumpy and a bunch of Megascarabs. Incapable of socializing and honestly same. Saved a muffalo that got struck by lightning and was abandoned by it's trade caravan. Yes he's our animal guy.

- Stephen keeps getting food poisoning and vomiting everywhere - literally the only colonist to get food poisoning four times over in a short period. Got shot once and had his left lung collapse entirely (he's still alive though). Like Jon, a bit of a misfortune magnet but I can leave him unattended for at least a few minutes until he gets food poisoning again. He's also constantly on the verge of starvation. He's primarily the one we use to recruit prisoners aside from Seth.

- Kimmel got his left thumb shot off at some point. The resident chef that for some reason has a rivalry with a child they rescued from the three arctic wolves that took Jon's eyeball and the newest colonist they rescued from the nine crazy yorkies. Considered changing the 7-year-old's name from Maverick to Matt Damon. Unclear if he's the one causing the food poisoning incidents but it seems unlikely.

- Fallon is useless on most counts. Can't do hauling, never cleans, incapable of violence, and his room is a disaster. Someone else has to clean up after him most of the time but hey at least he's teaching that kid we rescued about naughty words. Ironically one of the only ones who hasn't been horribly injured at some point. He does help with cooking sometimes and I would not be surprised at all if it's his fault Stephen's always sick.

- Conan is the other one who hasn't been horrifically injured as of yet. Spends a lot of time researching and is the go-to guy for when traders or visitors come around. Once told Fallon at a binge party that the world would be a better place without him out of absolutely nowhere despite having a friendly relationship and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Best friends with a colony recruit named Buckley and now they're our two fastest builders. Makes up for the fact that he's incapable of violence.

- Craig is our marksman and has also unfortunately been maimed by several animals but somehow not as many times as Jon has. He's usually out front during raids because he got his hands on an assault rifle. Has gotten a Yeoman title from some kingdom because he sheltered a lady being chased by a crazy rabbit (not the same one that put Jon in the hospital) so now he has a psylink ability and has to meditate a lot. Probably one of the most productive members because he can pretty much do a little of everything.

- John hasn't been injured either, he's also technically our doctor because he has the highest medical skill out of everyone. This poor guy has had to rescue everyone so many times I don't blame him for being constantly on the verge of a mental break. When Conan is unavailable he's the second go-to for trading and interacting with visitors. He really hated a guy called Robert Thompson that we had to take in for 21 days as part of a quest that didn't work or anything and kept getting injured/sick so John had to take care of him most of the time. This poor guy is the sole reason they're all still alive. The colony child Maverick loves him.

- Seth has the second highest medical skill out of them all so he helps John out with the hospital a lot. He's also great at recruiting prisoners, and so when we have them he's our second warden along with Stephen. He's also "physically appealing" and people are predisposed to liking him so that probably helps with the recruiting thing. He also for some reason has a high shooting skill and after that Robert Thompson quest he got his hands on a mini gun and now he's our most dangerous fighter. Once when he was in the hospital recovering from a raid a power conduit exploded and set his hospital bed on fire.

On a positive note, Jon and Stephen got married and they're all still alive as of right now! Jon did die once to a mechanoid in one hit and I got so upset I reloaded the game shhhh

[chungwoohell]

ep: 463

RTD arc part 3

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-Please, please tell me the route to putting Lee Sejin in a straitjacket. It was in the music video or something, Please I don’t know how.

-The comedy ending where Cha Eugene escapes alone is so funny, I laughed out loud while filming Chakitty

-Wow, when Baese got his wallet stolen on the way to work, it was actually Chungwoo who stole it Lol the scene is shown in the jailer version!! (gameplay recording)

Good content after content and more content.

Originally, after the music video was released during the comeback, there was a gap of a few days between the appearance on music broadcast.

Usually, this period was spent in anticipation, looking at social media news, previews, and small content. Or watching the music video over and over again while anxiously waiting for the broadcast to air…

-Ahhhh, Eugene finally put on the guard uniform ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ wtf I’m so happy, I can barely breathe. Wear your uniform loosely, my baby.

It’s completely changed.

The fan community and SNS were flooded with all kinds of spoilers, strategies, videos, and screenshots, it was truly a celebration.

(t/n: “it was truly a celebration”: I didn’t know whether to change it to “it felt like Christmas” because in this context it felt like fans were getting so much content/fanservice similar to the feeling of getting lots of gifts on Christmas.)

TeSTAR placed a lenient rule that the ‘normal ending’ and ‘bad ending can only be streamed.

The reason for such an unconventional attempt in the first place was to spread the word of mouth and because it’s a promotional opportunity that couldn’t be missed.

Besides, if you wanted to experience it for yourself, you have to buy the album anyway.

The ‘code’ on the photocard, which opens the locked door at the ending, belongs to one account, so pirates couldn’t see the ending!

-LOL you’re a bitch.

-But I’m worried that it’ll be pirated soon because they’re good at making all kinds of cracks ㅠㅠㅠ

-However, it seems like the sales are doing okay since it’s released. Oh, it’s great that the USB is counted by album sales.

-it’s really a new worldview, fun fun

In addition, the lyrics, music, and concept photos that can be downloaded from the game title received favorable reviews for the unique emotions they provide when looking back after playing the game.

-The game deepens the narrative of the album… Fuck I hated the worldview so much. I can’t believe they made me say that.

Overall, it was a unique attempt.

And it was completely unexpected.

First of all, it means that aggro was drawn properly.

[TeSTAR put a real game in the album]

[<127 Section> Ruined Factory production team releases new work: Testa Album (no joke)]

[TeSTAR’s crazy live-action gameplay status haha]

The astonishment of fans who had no idea that the MV expansion version was actually a game spread everywhere, and naturally, Internet users came across the news.

-The MV was an introduction to the game.

-What’s going on lol

-TeSTAR, you really do everything. I really respect you. From a magical boy to the one road of Otaku

-I want to try this too. What's going on with the quality? Can I just buy the album? What should I buy?

On WeTube, several gamer streamers who couldn’t miss this piece of gold were already playing it.

It was because of Lee Sejin’s shocking prologue that it was easy to get reactions and the WeTube scene came out well, so it was a win-win.

Of course, there were fights and noises as tastes and evaluations went back and forth, but even that was a hot topic.

It was a promotion that I couldn’t ask for.

-If I order now from the official website, will it arrive tomorrow?? I took the bus to the store, and it was sold out.

-What version should I start with?

-TeSTAR, this title game is an OST? Hey?? Why is everyone so upset?

Thanks to this, album sales were soaring tremendously. Simple components such as a USB, recycled paper box, and photocard, lower the barrier to entry by allowing users to purchase the album without burden.

This was just the beginning of all this typhoon-like activity.

“Whoa.”

Homma was playing the game like crazy.

The balance of thrill with a cinematic live-action structure, interactive choices, and luck elements that do not require much control… It did a great job appealing to the people.

Thanks to this, she was devoting all her free time to playing.

“The scene of Moondae is really pretty…”

Currently, I was replaying the VER 2 album, which mainly features Prisoner Moondae. When playing as a prisoner through the VER 2 USB album, the chapter started from the past perspective of Park Moondae and Cha Eugene.

-Oh, the two of them are having a heated argument in the lab, but I’m scared of them all.

ㄴ?? Wasn’t it very sad and pitiful?

ㄴ?? What choice did you have?

ㄴ Exactly your choice.

Also, in the latter half of the episode, there was an event where the thieves wore prison uniforms when they were caught, and an event where they overpowered the guards and made them wear prison uniforms.

-Moondae throwing his prison uniform at Keunse seems to have personal feelings, but it’s not acting, it’s like they’re really friends.

ㄴ LOL

During the playthrough, I was able to find out a little bit about the identity of the experiments the prisoners were being subjected to.

[⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛  10ml administration: Detect objects 100m away

-Complaints of dizziness, hallucinations, and headaches.]

'Hmm, psychic? Is this an experiment to create something similar?'

For some reason, it felt like an American sensibility... It was definitely a bit weird and creepy that way.

Anyway, Cha Eugene seemed to have an extraordinary mind and a very developed sixth sense, and Moondae seemed to be able to use telekinesis!

‘……Although he vomited blood.’

After recreating the scene in the music video where the surveillance camera explodes and seeing the bad ending where the gate collapses, she sealed away her telekinetic powers.......

Album VER 2's prisoner POV playthrough felt like that.

A story similar to the Phantom Thieves POV, but more desolate and focused on facilities.

However, the VER 3 album was a little different.

In the case of this camp of guards, we took a slightly special structure....

It was a play that started from Lee Sejin's perspective and cooperated with the phantom thieves.

-Shh.

-…!

-Be quiet and follow me.

‘Omg.’

It’s like he’s sick of the facility and pretend not to show it… It seemed like he was a guard on our side. Of course, the truth is, I was planning to catch them all at last minute, so they don’t steal them.

Is what Lee Sejin said while humming to himself.

-It’s nice~ They come on their own and break the rules…

‘Evil!’

VER 1, the first experience with the intensity of the prologue made it powerful!

Thanks to this, VER 3 has a strange structure which made the players dizzy wondering when they will get back stabbed.

‘Hmm, was this because I played as a Phantom Thief first?’

“Uh, wait. Come to think of it.”

Was the order really intentional?

Homma suddenly have an idea.

They key shape in the music video… it’s the same of the USB in the VER 1 album.

The other two look slightly different from the music video.

When selling, it was shown on the product page. People who were only going to buy one album would obviously buy VER 1.

Before that, I bought the album reservation without any information knowing that it would come in a set.

‘And those who bought all 3 must’ve played VER 1 first since it was in the music video.’

Don’t you think it was strange?

That means that the players will experience playing as phantom thieves before exploring the story of the prisoners and camp guard.

After experiencing the first version, you can continue discovering new things while maintaining the thrill in the other versions.

‘And.’

Homma gapped.

She was unable to process the detailed structured to prevent multiple playthroughs being boring. Even if she didn’t know the game well, it was very touching.

‘Oh my god,’

Anyways, let’s talk about it.

In VER 3, the phantom thieves were able to accompany Lee Sejin and wore blue navy unforms!

There was no longer an option to hide from the guards.

Instead, an event occurs where you can access the facility's documents or find more information.

-Keep It Safe, hence 'KIS'.... What do you mean by “keeping safe”?

-Um, the people outside?

-…From what?

-From all danger? Hey, I don't know either~ How would the employees know that?

Fortunately, Lee Sejin's values become slightly shaken when the phantom thieves cooperate with the prisoners and build some friendships with them.

This is because we learn that the two prisoners were imprisoned even though they had not broken any rules.

-I was kidnapped.

-Me too.

-……Hmm.

And through various events, he comes to accept Ryu Chungwoo's proposal to join as a phantom thief.

-Is that so?

-…!

-It’s almost time for me to change jobs since my annual leave is coming to an end.

“Oh oh!

This way, he was succeeded in seducing many TeSTARs, including the guard, Lee Sejin…

She watched only the normal ending to the end.

‘Why!?’

Although I was exposed to spoilers for Moondae’s syringe options, I made the right choice and saw the phantom thief’s uniform… It was in the normal ending back then too.

“What…?’

About Ahyeon… Is It because you’re so scared that you couldn’t approach Ahyeon or seduce him.

[We left this damn facility.]

It’s like this every time and the ending credits roll with after content!

Anyways, all that’s left is Park Moondae’s amazing thighs… That’s it.

So, this time she was really prepared.

“Let’s do this…”

Homma looked up a strategy while avoiding spoilers as much as possible and sat down in front of the computer again, clenching both hands.

Found it! The True Ending conditions!

‘First if all, you have to play VER 1 first…’

She clicked on the game icon and quicky played through it.

Now for the strategy.

-No matter which faction you are in, make everyone except Seon Ahyeon your comrades and then meet Ahyeon in front of the final gate!

‘I guess the dice came up when I was hiding was a hint!’

That wasn’t entirely the ‘right’ option.

If you meet without recruiting all your friends, it’s game over, but if you meet with all your friends, a true ending event will occur!

‘Good.’

Then the fateful moment.

-If you just turn there…

Homma closed her eyes tightly and ignored the ‘hide’ option.

Finally…

Tap, tap.

Bae Sejin, who had put the key in the lock pad, flinched and looked back.

From around the corner, a blonde guard in a navy-blue uniform came out, starting with military boots.

The screen froze.

“Whoa.”

Homma clenched her fists and…

-……

The background music flowed into emptiness.

Seon Ahyeon stared at the key Bae Sejin was holding.

Next, he glances at the six people standing around, dressed in the same style.

After alternating shots and breathtaking close-up scenes…

The guard opened his mouth.

-There it is.

-…!

-The jewel.

Homma covered her mouth.

‘Omg!’

Yes!

A gem that the phantom thieves tried to find, but ultimately concluded it was false information spread by this facility to capture test subjects.

Tutaculum really exists… Seon Ahyeon informed me.

Then, he turned around and started walking away again without shaking.

Tap, tap.

On the screen, Bae Sejin swallowed his saliva.

-…What should I do?

[Follow. -Trust]

[Ignore.  -Disbelief]

“……After,”

This is unconditional.

If you follow along and fail here, there's no way you'll get the true ending!

Homma quickly clicked 'Follow', and naturally the characters on the screen followed Seon Ahyeon.

Seon Ahyeon passed the outskirts of the complex facility several times, moving at a speed that was not very considerate.

Down, down.

Overcome a couple of light dice decisions....

Jiiiing-

-…Where?

We arrived in front of a small iron gate.

Next to it is a locking pad like the entrance.

With modern organ BGM playing, Seon Ahyeon stood next to the iron gate.

The six members with the keys approached the lock pad.

Only then did the blonde guard open his mouth.

-Obverse.

'... obverse?'

Homma was embarrassed.

I'm entering the code and suddenly what does the front side mean?

'Is there anything on the front of the photocard?'

However, no matter how much I looked, there was no hint in the photo of Kim Raebin with the awl in his mouth.

'On the back is this....'

[AW23-5DQ2-B25E]

This code.

Just as she was about to panic, fortunately Bae Sejin's narration came out.

-The code is... Among the dummy data in the key, it was written on the back of the man's photo. It's not facing the front.

'I know yeah!'

-But facing front? Why are you saying the opposite?

-……Wait, the opposite?

"...!!"

At that moment, Homma also realized.

If you think of the letters on the back as being viewed from the front.

'... It looks backwards, in the opposite direction!'

If so, the code is....

Crash.

She started tapping on the keyboard.

[AW23-5DQ2-B25E]

this.

[E52B-2QD5-32WA]

Then it should be like this!

“…Okay!”

The moment you press enter,

Uuuuuung-!

With a bright light, the iron door began to open.

My toes felt tingly.

'Wow....'

And after the light subsides.

In the screen, in the very center of a small room with iron walls on all sides.

Inside the hexagonal glass tube was a beautiful, green-colored gem.

An ecstatic BGM was played.

'The props are really cool...’

The camera slowly approached the jewel....

A gloved hand reached out. and....

[Catch the jewel.]

[Ask a question.]

“……”

A choice appeared.

‘Hmm,’

Homma crossed her arms.

This game had no save and load feature.

It is possible to skip events that have already been seen, but this means that once a choice has been made, it’s impossible to go back to the previous moment.

But.

‘…The truth must be revealed.’

My friends on social media said that’s the meaning of the true ending!

Feeling like a detective, Homma swallowed and pressed down.

[Ask a question.]

On the screen, Bae Sejin withdrew his hand. Then he turned his head to Seon Ahyeon.

-…Why did you bring us here?

-……

-What is your purpose? Why are you giving us the jewel, the Tutaculum?

It was then.

-…! Wait for a sec,

Someone intervened.

…Prisoner Park Moondae, who was dressed in a phantom thief-style leather suit, asked quickly in a low voice.

-What do you mean “Tutaculum”?

Bae Sejin responded.

-This gem is the Tutaculum.

Park Moondae’s face turned pale.

-No, that’s… This is the drug administered to the prisoners managed here.

-…!!

-It’s not a gem. Tutaculum is… Here, it’s a code word meaning drug.

Wow, crazy.

‘The drug that creates superpowers…’

No, now that I think about it, it seemed like it was green too. Homma covered her mouth again and stared at the screen with a twist.

“…”

The camera slowly turns.

Ryu Chungwoo asked while looking at the blonde guard.

-Then,

-What is this gem?

That moment.

The screen turned off.

"...?!"

Only then did Seon Ahyeon’s voice rang softly from the black screen.

- The guard mysterious and scary with the black baton did not open his mouth.

-But at the end of that gaze... There was a prisoner.

With calm BGM, the screen became bright again.

And what is revealed... It was an attic.

TeSTAR sat on the floor between the warm lamp light and a board game in the middle.

That scene from the teaser.

"...??"

Homma is in confusion!

However, Sun Ahyeon’s calm voice continued.

-It’s the players’ turn.

Cha Eugene and Park Moondae, who were sitting comfortably, twitched their eyebrows at the same time. They were two people who played the role of prisoners.

Ryu Chungwoo, who was resting his chin, spoke thoughtfully.

-You said you saw the prisoner. Did he want to give the jewel to the prisoner? As Compensation?

-There’s no psychopath, so it's probably like that.

After Cha Eugene grumbled, Park Moondae opened his mouth, rubbing his chin.

-…Well, if a hacker is able convince several people to the same side in such a short period of time, it seems like he will become a threat in the future. Isn’t he trying to give me the real jewels and send them back? It’s cheating.

-Ah~ Don’t have any regrets.

Lee Sejin nodded and smiled cheerfully.

-Good! Then I will say this.

Then, the screen was sucked in, the background returned to the secret facility.

In that scene, Lee Sejin, dressed as a phantom thief, spoke.

-I also have a question~

-“Keep It Safe”. Speaking of the slogan… Actually, it’s not “Safe”, it’s Sacrifice, right? Chief jailer. What are we keeping safe?

-I thought there were rules, but now I see that they don’t really follow them~

After that, a truth battle continues using the secrets of the facility discovered while playing the game.

And the conclusion is…

-It’s not a prison… It was a research institute.

This facility was an institution conducting research to completely control Tutaculum, a drug that gives strange abilities!

'Ooh.'

It was quite exciting to see the information collected so far being connected.

-Really?

I still don't know why the scenery returns to the attic as if I'm being sucked in again.

It was nice to hear Seon Ahyeon’s soft voice.

-But the blonde guard was neither agitated nor answered.

-Oooooh!

-Should we fight?

-Let’s fight, I’ll roll the dice.

In response to the combative members’ reactions, Seon Ahyeon, who was holding a book, smiled and nodded.

-Yes, then… Who will fight?

-Of course, the strongest person should do it, right?

-……

Raebin Kim clicked his tongue and held up the dice as if he didn't feel like it and Seon Ahyeon also picked up the dice.

-I'm going to roll a cube. The maximum number is 6. Players are left with a dodecahedron, with a maximum number of 10. That's a big difference.

-Still, if the player's dodecahedron number is smaller, the player can defeat the warden.

Some might jeer at this as it is a ridiculous scam, but everyone is just nodding their heads as if they are very immersed in it.

Homma did the same, but soon realized the reality.

'Uh oh, can I really do it?'

And that premonition was correct.

'omg!’

As the dice appeared on the screen, Homma was almost screaming internally as she calculated the odds... Finally, I put my hand on the mouse again.

And pressed,

"evil."

Degurrrrr....

The ten-sided dice rolls... Rolling... The numbers....

[5]

‘…Oh, no.'

It’s too big!

Homma felt her blood run cold and swallowed her saliva without realizing it as she looked at the screen.

The game was in progress.

Sun Ahyeon was throwing the dice inside his book, so the numbers were not visible.

Over Seon Ahyeon's face, an expressionless guard in a navy-blue uniform briefly overlaps.

'uh?'

But after a while.

Seon Ahyeon smiled brightly and put the book away.

The number shown by the black die is....

[6]

-I was defeated.

-Oh my God!

-Oh~

Cheers erupt.

-So, you guys…

Seon Ahyeon smiled and closed the book.

-You obtained the jewel and successfully escaped from ‘KIS’ foundation.

-I was your game master.

Applause erupted.

-Ah~ It was fun!

-Thank you for calling me. It was fun to try.

-Oh, no…

Seon Ahyeon smiled softly and put the paper book he was holding. As he said before, he seems to be in charge of hosting this board game.

‘Oh, I think I saw something like this on TV?’

It came out like this because it was an American teen concept!

Homma nodded.

‘Ahyeon played a key role!’

Still, Ahyeon's fans may be a bit disappointed that the amount of content he has is small. That thought passed by without me thinking, but anyway, I was absorbed in the cute appearance and development of TeSTAR on the screen.

-You seem like a nerd, you made a fuss about not liking it, but surprisingly you enjoyed it~?

-I know that if anyone talks about what happened today at school, I won't leave them alone.

-Look at this guy!

While Cha Eugene and Lee Sejin are grumbling, Kim Raebin is rubbing his chin. A rather violent silver accessory was shaking.

-The setting was 2025. They say the world will fall in 1999, but in a later era, I will have a stronger role.......

-You're better than me, who was a kidnapped test subject.

-Being a test subject would be better.

Kim Raebin responded grimly, but Park Moondae just chuckled and Seon Ahyeon also laughed when he saw that.

In that wholesome scene, Bae Sejin smiled and put down his dice.

The narration continued.

-Secret confinement facilities, experiments with psychics, hackers and phantom thieves, and even a thrilling escape. It was a great journey.

In the board game, jewel tokens were shown close-up on the screen.

-The secret we discovered was surprising, but there may be another story hidden there.

-No, I think it would be fun to tell the same story again.

The camera show TeSTAR in the attic, bathed in soft lamp light.

-…I hope to come back to play again someday.

The camera moves up to capture a harmonious image of TeSTAR sitting in a circle.

Along with the gently arranged sub-songs of this album, a subtitle came to mind.

[True Ending]

~In the tutáculum. (은신처에서)

(t/n: 은신처에서/in the hiding place, it’s in parentheses for the ones who don’t know English.)

It was the true ending.

“Ha…”

She leaned back in her chair.

So, this game is like the American teen TeSTAR from the 80s playing a board game... That was the concept.

'So, repackage album........'

It was all connected....

Homma felt an indescribable overwhelming emotion and watched the ending credits roll again.

The scenes I had seen so far passed through my mind, the scenes in the attic, and the character details.

“…..”

The dopamine was constantly increasing.

(t/n: homma said some slang word for a dr*g LMAO but there’s no way she actually did them…)

I was very curious about the stage, but I still had to wait to see the stage.

So that was why.

‘I’ll play again!’

***

After taking care of the urgent matters, she clicked the icon again and reconnected to the game.

This time it was a different version.

‘The warden!'

The main subject of Moondae was postponed for the grand finale!

In order to see the true ending one more time, I continued pressing the skip button.

'Ah, this is really fun.'

My heart was pounding. What new things will be shown in this version?

When the TeSTARs wearing guard uniforms side by side finally reached the point where they pressed the code!

"Good!"

[E52B-2QD5-32WA]

'Great!'

And that was the moment I pressed enter.

'Now the door opens and the jewel....'

It definitely had to be that way.

[%EA%B8%B0%EB%8B%A4%EB%A0%B8%EC%96%B4]

Instead.

The blonde guard looked back at the camera.

Seon Ahyeon.

'...Uh?'

-I pressed the wrong button.

“...??"

-It's a different version of the code.

Seon Ahyeon, who is in uniform in the game, smiled. It was his first time smiling as a jailer.

-You’re okay.

-But... I made a mistake with this.

Cotton gloves grabbed the camera.

-It means you played a lot.

"...?!"

Just now... “Play”?

-Correct? So, by chance, you ended up making a mistake by writing the code written on the card, not exactly as it was, but in the opposite direction... It means you did a lot.

The BGM has disappeared.

No, before I knew it... The angle of the screen also changed.

In the game world, were the other members were invisible, only Seon Ahyeon was visible.

That moment.

-Let's keep playing.

The hidden route has begun.

[entryno17]

in your opinion, how important do you think gaster will be in the plot line of deltarune? :)

OH BOY AN EXCUSE TO INFODUMP!!!

short answer: VERY.

long answer: VERY,

VERY.

i mean... gaster is the first character that appears in the game—as in, he appears seconds after you boot it up. after asking if he's "CONNECTED" he guides you along the whole gonermaker segment; not only does he serve as the introduction to deltarune, he's literally the person who announced the game itself! that seems... kinda important.

of course there's also the easter egg with smile.ogg playing while trying to use the phone in the dark world, and the weird door that plays smile.ogg slowed down by 666%... gaster is the one who asks if you want to try again when you get a game over, and he narrates the main menu before you beat the game...

there's also the fact that, like, the entire dark world itself seems to be in direct reference to gaster??

gaster had 11 lines in all of undertale, and 4/11 of those were him rambling insanely about 'darkness'. darkness as a concept is at least somewhat important to this guy, and themes of parallels between light/darkness are... pretty prominent in deltarune, to say the least. i can't go into this any further without just reciting the entirety of the plot.

OH! AND! don't forget (haha) deltarune's ending theme.

i'll set aside lyrical analysis of this song for now (just trust me it's also extremely related to gaster), and instead take the time to remind you not to forget about that funny little note in sans's garage:

it's never stated directly, but it's heavily implied that gaster was "forgotten" about. between goner kid's weird spiel about non-existence and the fact that gaster barely seems to exist at all to anyone but his followers, it's safe to assume that gaster being shattered across time and space effectively erased him from reality, thus causing him to be 'forgotten'.

don't forget is the main leitmotif throughout deltarune, appearing in 9 different songs in the ost. if it is related to gaster like i assume it is, that's another point for gaster being extremely important lol.

BUT! his influence in the game goes even deeper than that, believe it or not!! this is a bit hard to explain so bear with me, but gaster is directly present throughout the inner workings of the game. i'll be quoting some stuff from tcrf.net because it explains this better way than i can lol.

The window captions used throughout the game use upper and title case variously, to denote context; the 'light world' sections use title case (eg. "The Beginning", "The Return") and the 'dark world' sections, along with everything else, use upper-case (eg. "THE DARK", "CONTACT", "DELTARUNE").

Internally, most of the game's assets are named using a similar though distinct convention of upper/lower case. Unlike the window captions, the "Dark World" assets, like the "Light World" assets, use lower case, abbreviated prefixes (in Undertale, these were the only prefixes used). Allcaps prefixes/names are only used in the following contexts:

• CONTACT and everything associated with it • The logo screen and main menu (both versions of it) • The game over ("FAILURE") screen • The dogcheck room • UNUSED

These are effectively all of the "out-of-bounds" sections of the game, as it were, with the exception of the ending credits.

okay so... we already know that gaster directly appears in the CONTACT sequence, the main menu, and the game over screen. as for the dogcheck room and 'UNUSED'—both of those can only be accessed through hacking/datamining, and gaster's connection to unused/datamined content in general makes this VERY relevant to him.

anyway, here's a table of these prefixes:

Variable names within allcaps objects also follow this convention, mostly being in allcaps as well, in addition to sometimes utilizing slightly more verbose terminology. One notable counterpart for a common local variable is EVENT, used in place of con (condition).

someone that speaks in all caps and often uses stilted, somewhat verbose vocabulary... sounds familiar, right?

HE CALLS DOGCHECK "SONG_THAT_EMERGES_FROM_A_SLEEPING_DOG". this is not relevant to the point i'm trying to make at all but i need as many people to know this fact as possible.

that's not the only place gaster is hiding, though! there's also some weird, unused rhyming text that seems to describe the mystery man sprite!! basically, gaster's presence is weaved throughout the game and he undoubtedly plays a major role in deltarune—inside and out.

let me loop back to the start of all this. it's pretty widely agreed upon that gaster is/was in cahoots with chara, and their partnership led to the creation of deltarune's world; we're obviously missing a lot of information about this since we've only played the first chapter, but this seems to be what's going on.

chara speaks repeatedly about the creation/destruction of different worlds at the end of no mercy, and deltarune is pretty clearly a separate world based on undertale's world. at the moment, it's anyone's guess what exactly they're trying to accomplish together—chara is also implied to be the person who 'discards' your vessel, so their motives probably don't align in some way. the point is, the world in deltarune was created.

considering all of this... i'm pretty confident that the "SURVEY_PROGRAM" we played is gaster's 'experiment'. as in, literally all of deltarune seems to be at least partially his doing.

... I THINK THAT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT!

[crowtrinkets]

Like a Sailor’s

Turns out when Asra was rehabilitating his apprentice, he may or may not have neglected to teach them a few words. Gender Neutral Apprentice

ALT TITLE: You kiss your mother with that mouth? I don't remember my mom?

Lots of swearing lol, short fic cause I thought the prompt was funny.

Word Count: 1,623

---

The first time I heard the word it was met with a gasp from a mother who whisked her child away from the market. A man was yelling about the price of rice and when he uttered the word it seemed to come as a shock. I couldn't speak at the time so I could never ask Asra what it meant at the time. The man's outburst didn't seem to phase Asra as he continued to peruse the pendulum stand without disturbance. I decided to leave it be at the time.

The next time I was at the docks and a sailor was laughing with his friends, I couldn’t very well have gone up and asked the stranger since it seemed everyone knew what it meant. But I still wanted to know. But again I let my question fall to the back of my mind.

As my life went on I continued to hear the word over and over, still never with an explanation, and with a multitude of contexts. Which further confused me about its meaning.

One day Asra and I had Julian and Muriel over for some tea and it quickly turned into a game of cards. Julian is exceptionally bad at cards, his poker face is terrible. Asra always cheats but Muriel and I know him well enough to call him out when we discover it. At one point Julian uttered it. The Word. The word that has plagued my thoughts with its potential meaning, I decided I was in comfortable enough company and I took the plunge with my question.

“What does that mean?” I turn towards Julian. My question seems to be shocking because Julian gazes at me in astonishment, and Asra looks embarrassed. Even Muriel looks shocked.

“Asra! This is a question for you,” Julian looks uncomfortable trying to shift my genuine question to Asra as he takes another sip of his tea.

“I uh… well I guess I never did teach you everything,” he laughs nervously. Muriel lets out a chuckle. “But maybe it’s best if we talked about this later”

“Asra please!” I reach across the table a grip his hands. “Just tell me” I can see a flush form on Asra’s face. Julian looks to Muriel as they both chuckle, Julian more than Muriel.

“Asra, what does fuck mean?” I plead. Julian starts howling with laughter, nearly spilling his drink. Muriel lets out a snort. This is the most emotion I’ve seen him express ever. I can’t help feeling embarrassed that I'm the only one who doesn’t know. Asra lets out a sigh.

“Well uh, remember when I had to explain some swear words to you? It's like that but it’s a little harsher than other words,”

“Well, what does it mean,”

“Depends on the context my friend,” Julian waggles his eyebrows at me. Asra elbows him in the ribs earning a wince from the redhead.

“Well um, how do I explain it? You use it in multiple ways,”

“Such as?”

“Well, you can use it as an insult?”

“Like ass?” I know that one.

“Y-yes” Asra clears his throat and looks down into his teacup. Julian continues to chuckle as Asra and I go back and forth.

“Oh, you could use it for more than just an insult,” Julian leans in eyes shifting between Asra and me.

“Ilya!” Asra says through his teeth.

“Asra, you have to tell them,” Muriel chimes in.

“Well you can use it as an exclamation,” Asra seems more and more uncomfortable by the second but I can't understand why.

“Like Julian did just now? Cause he got a bad card?”

“Uh yea like that, but I would avoid using it,” Asra reaches for his tea and takes a sip. “You know what we need more tea I'm gonna go make some,” Asra gets up and heads in the completely opposite direction of where the tea is stashed. My gaze shifts to Julian.

“Julian, please tell me what it means,” another snort escapes Muriel and Julian flushes.

“Oh uhh well it can also be used to describe um… activities…” He avoids my eyes as he speaks. suddenly flustered under the pressure of my apparently loaded question. 

“Activities?”

"Er yes… you know activities?" Julian gestures like he's trying to get me to finish the sentence.

"I'm not following,"

"You said you heard the word before?" Muriel cuts in.

"Yes, I've heard it used a lot by the docks, and sometimes Julian says it but I never knew what it meant,"

"Well then just use it in that context," Muriel shrugs and then gets up to go wherever Asra is hiding. Feeling defeated I decide that these three won't answer my question.

"Fine, I'll ask someone else, someone who I know will answer my question,"

"And who might that be?" Julian questions, leaning back in his chair.

"Portia," in an instant I whip around and head downstairs towards the door of my shop. I hear a distinctive "NO" from Julian as I run. I slam the door behind me and head for the palace.

--

I wave hello to the guards as I walk over the bridge into the palace. Portia said she was unable to come over today because she's working. I'm sure me asking a little question couldn't hurt. I poke my head into the kitchen but I don't spot Portia anywhere. I check the ballroom, the library, the verandas, the drawing room. Just about everywhere. I'm starting to loose hope of my search until I quite literally run into a pile of boxes.

"Woah there!" the person carrying to boxes stumbles backwards but then steadies themselves.

"Portia? Is that you behind those boxes?" a tuft of red hair just barely pokes on the side of the boxes. Yup that's definitely Portia.

"Oh hi MC! Yea Milady wanted these boxes moved, and I was the only one available,"

"Would you like some help?"

"Oh thanks but I've gottem! You can help me by opening that door though!" She points her foot at a door a few feet away, to which I walk over and open. Portia places the boxes into the small closet and then dusts off her hands.

"So, not that I don't want you here, but why are you here? I thought everyone was at your shop?" Portia's smile is warm and inviting, but I still shift my weight out of embarrassment. 

"They are, but I wanted to ask you a question," Portia gives me an encouraging nod. I wring my hands together and finally speak.

"What does fuck mean?" Portia's smile falls and her eyes go wide. She then bursts out laughing. Not the reaction I expected but better than avoidance. She stops laughing when she notices my lack of laughter.

"Oh! Oh you're serious!" I give her a nod. "Well uh... You can use it a lot of ways,"

"Like as an insult?"

"Yea exactly, but also you can use it to describe an action,"

"What kind of action,"

"Oh, hrm well you can use it like "let's get fucked up" like when you get drunk with friends," I nod quickly, noting the phrase into my memory. 

"What else?"

"Oh uh... well um... when two people love each other very much-"

"Pasha!" a voice cuts in. We turn to see Julian, Asra, and Muriel turning the corner towards us.

”Why did your run off like that?” Asra asks me.

“No one was answering my questions!” I shift my glare between the three standing in front of me. They all cringe with embarrassment.

"Oh my, I was not expecting guests today," Nadia makes her way around the corner and stops when she sees all five of us.

"Oh milady! I wasn't expecting them either I apologize," Portia chimes in.

"No need for apologies Portia, my friends are always welcome, but what are you all doing here?" 

"Well you see-"

"We were just-" Asra and Julian speak at the same time. Muriel lets out a huff and approaches Nadia. He signals for her to lean in and whispers something in her ear. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise and her gaze shifts to me.

"Oh my," she says bringing a hand to her chest in shock, composed, but she still seems surprised. Muriel nods in response as he rights himself. "Well I feel I can resolve this situation," Nadia gestures for me to approach her and she leans to whisper in my ear. What she tells me answers the question I've been asking all day. I flush a little in embarrassment but I guess it makes sense.

"That was it!?" my eyes snap to Asra and Julian who are trying to look around innocently.

"My these er, moldings on the ceilings are quite nice, can't say I noticed them before," Julian tries to change the subject.

"Asra, c'mon it wasn't that serious," I say, folding my arms.

"Ah, yea I guess so, sorry for driving you to find other sources,"

"It's ok, sorry for running off," Asra and I exchange warm smiles. Nadia clears her throat.

"Well since were all here why don't we all relax on the veranda?"

"Yknow, all this running around has probably made us all quite thirsty," Julian's signature smug smile plasters itself on his face.

"Well I suppose some indulgence couldn't hurt," Nadia smiles back.

"I'll grab some bottles!" Portia says.

"I'll go with you," Muriel mumbles. The two of them walk off towards the kitchen. Nadia puts her hand on my shoulder.

"You will be joining us yes?" I give her a nod. I look Asra straight in the eyes and try to laugh as I watch the blood drain from his face with what I say next.

"Let's get fucked up,"

[gaybarbiegirl]

top 5 ludmila moments please <33

Ok so I'm gonna take a page from your book here and just go with the first five moments that come to mind without thinking too much about it, so these are in no specific order.

A) This scene in early s2 where Ludmila is trying to insult DJ and gives him a whole lecture about meteors in the process

I don't even remember the full context of this, I just remember Naty and Ludmila go into the music room when DJ is using it and Ludmila starts going off on him about how he's a meteor and she's a supernova, and in her attempt to insult him she gives him like, a full lesson on what meteors and supernovas are and the point of what she's saying gets so completely lost and it's so funny. The reason this scene means so much to me is because it's the first time I fully realised just how much Ludmila cares about astronomy, and her love of astronomy is honestly one of my favorite things about her. Maybe this sounds silly, but this was really a pivotal moment in getting me to start liking her character.

B) Another early s2 scene where Ludmila is rehearsing Destinada A Brillar but then she thinks about Violetta and starts crying

This one I actually remember the context of pretty well. It happens right after Ludmila finds out that UMix offered Violetta the chance to be their star, and Ludmila is clearly upset about it but she's trying to put up a strong front, you know? In the beggining of the scene, she tells Naty she just needs to remind everyone who the most talented person in the Studio is, but then she starts rehearsing and just starts crying mid song. It's such a powerful moment I think, it really shows you just how performative her whole diva attitude is and how underneath it she's really just scared of not being good enough. It was a moment that really humanised her character for me, and it was another pivotal moment in getting me to like her.

C) When Ludmila says "the tour has been great, mostly because of me"

This one is pretty much just what it says in the title lol. It's in the very first episode of s3, they're doing that opening sequence where they show how everybody's lives have been like during the tour, and then she just says that. It's such a small moment but I love it so much because that was what made me realise how much my opinion of her had changed. Like this is exactly the type of comment that would have made me roll my eyes in s1, but instead it just made me chuckle like 'yeah that's Ludmila :D' and it was such a nice feeling.

D) That scene where she's watching a romcom with German and Violetta and they get into a popcorn fight

I just love to see Ludmila being happy and having a supportive family so much!! And that was such a funny scene too, like Violetta's offended little 'she just told me the ending' when Ludmila said that the two romcom leads were obviously gonna end up together is just so good, and I love how Ludmila was being so snarky throughout the whole scene but still clearly having fun. This moment just lives in my heart.

E) When she confronts Federico about not believing her when Priscila accused her of pushing Violetta down the stairs

Ok listen. I usually just jokingly call this scene 'the scene where Ludmila tells her canon love interest that she can't date him because she needs to be with someone like Naty' because I mean, that does happen, but there's also so much more to this scene than that. It's such an amazing moment of her stating what exactly she needs from a relationship going forward, now that she's really trying to be better, and it's just so good. Like, her overall point was 'you fell in love with me when I was in the best place I had been in a while, but I can't promise to be the best version of myself all the time, I'm going to slip up and do bad things sometimes, and I need someone who's gonna trust me through my mistakes too' and I got emotional just typing that right now because it's such a powerful sentiment and it's so intelligent and mature and really shows how much she grew. I know I said I wasn't ranking these and for the most part it's true, I'm not, but if I was this scene would be number 1.

Thank you so much for your ask!!

[adultswim2021]

Ephemera Week (2002)

Mission Hill (originally aired on WB, 1999-2000)

Mission Hill was a perfectly good animated series from former Simpsons show-runners Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. It was a sitcom about cool young people in a cool young people city. Andy French is an aspiring cartoonist, intended to be a Matt Groening type who would (over the course of many many seasons) eventually find success and get his own super-successful animated series called THE SIMPSONS: SEASONS 1-8.

The premise of the show was that Andy’s parents retire and sell the childhood home, displacing his nerdy high-school aged younger brother Kevin. Kevin moves in with Andy and learns how to be a cool city style guy, you know, the kind that’s always “walkin here!” and sucking off Bob Balaban in the men’s room and whatnot.

The show is at least better than the bad seasons of the Simpsons, and has a cool alt-comics style that suits the show really well. Not to damn it with faint praise, it’s a good show. There are a handful of GREAT episodes and plenty of strong jokes. There's news of a revival in the works focusing on Gus and Wally, the older gay couple in the show. It's supposed to take place in the same era the show originally aired in, which is just great.

Like Baby Blues and Home Movies before it, I did catch this show randomly on it's network of origin. I saw one or two of the final episodes to air on WB. I liked it! I was glad to see it get revived for a run on Adult Swim. I've wanted more episodes ever since.

I don't think the show is available for streaming anywhere, which is too bad. It came out on DVD with special features. That DVD set was reissued on DVD-R without special features, so... buyer? be wary. There's also a number of music replacements that ruin some of the scenes. At one point I had a bootleg set where somebody took the DVD video and replaced the audio with the as-broadcast version of of the show. Good luck finding it.

Here's an episode guide showing their debuts on Adult Swim. Bold episodes were originally unaired, making their debut on the channel. Also note: episodes had an innocuous title and a spicier in-house title in parentheses. It’s real Police Squad! shit.

12AM Monday Morning:

May 20: Pilot (or The Douchebag Aspect) May 27: Andy Joins the PTA (or Great Sexpectations) June 3: Kevin's Problem (or Porno for Pyro) June 10: Andy vs. The Real World (or The Big-Ass Viacom Lawsuit) June 17: Andy and Kevin Make a Friend (or One Bang for Two Brothers) June 24: Andy Gets a Promotion (or How to Get Head in Business Without Really Trying) July 1: Kevin vs. the SAT (or Nocturnal Admissions) July 8: Unemployment Part 1 (or Brother's Big Boner) July 15: Unemployment Part 2 (or Theory of the Leisure Ass) July 22: Kevin Finds Love (or Hot for Weirdie) July 29: Stories of Hope and Forgiveness (or Day of the Jackass)

11PM Sunday Night:

August 4: Happy Birthday, Kevin (or Happy Birthday, Douchebag) August 11: Plan 9 from Mission Hill (or I Married a Gay Man from Outer Space)

ALSO NOTE: There are about five episodes that were in early-stages of production and if you poke around you can find scripts for these episodes ( here as of this writing). A full animatic and table read for “Crap Gets In Your Eyes” exists if you search for it. 

MAIL BAG

London Arbuckle ASKS! or, states! sorry I’m writing this lead-in without having read the whole message yet.

Another confusing Baffler Meal thing: the deleted cold open that's on the DVD. It gets called back to in the actual episode ("Between two steamed buns", "Nine dollars!? For what?") and provides crucial context, BUT it also gets contradicted in the actual episode (SG sells out for "one serious speaker" instead of owing a restaurant money). Also I remember all the ads for this episode used a clip from the cold open! It always kinda bothered me that they cut it but boys (matt & dave) will be boys!

I do think the cold open is nice and I always make a point to watch it with the episode. In my mind they are as essential as watching that boring Terry Gilliam short before Meaning of Life. The next step is pointlessly editing them together using Nero. Yeah, that’s the ticket

Here’s ANONYMOUS, baby!

It's summertime and we are talking about Adult Swim and I gotta ask when's the last time you've been to a pool. Have you ever in your adult life enjoyed the benefits of an adult swim. Tell us just how much you like splash around. Yes, that would be quite illuminating I'm sure (rolleyes).

Man, when was the last time I went into a pool? It’s been literally years. I think the last time I swam I did a bad job. I am definitely am getting “bad job” vibes off my hazy memories. Man, my memories used to be precious. Damn!

do you think theyll ever work with george lowe again in any major capacity or do you think he's just bad news.

I was about to say “isn’t he on American Dad” based on him name-checking American Dad as one of his many credits but I just looked it up and he was only in one episode. Damn. Somebody give George work he seems nice.

beakman's world, anyone? The wild and wacky world of Paul Zaloom? Hmm? Anyone?

lol you wish...

Baby Blues really was my everything back in the early 2000s, it may not have head the punk rock cred you clearly seem to crave it was a soothing balm for myself as a new father in a scary world (9/11 and all that, terrible stuff).

you raise a good point, that you’re a huge dork “with child” and I’m cool and laughed at 9/11 because it was funny to me, actually

Just read your Baby Blues "take down" and I gotta say: In the immortal words of Mike Francesca, "You're a fool. ho-kay? A total fool."

Uh huh. Yeah okay. Mike Francesca hordes pot bellied pigs in his apartment and lives in filth. He stinks, and so do youd

Baby Blue is like every animation nerd's wet dream. What if they made the rugrats with only the parents part. And here it is. Be careful what you wish for, chunky.

Yeah and it’s too bad because judging from the previous mail bags my audience is primarily made up of BABIES.

[zalrb]

tv rewatch: gg edition s2e1

LOL the recap of the last season is so DRAMATIC

i like how they start with nate making out in a car and all you see is blonde hair so you’re supposed to be like, is it serena??? no just an adult who should know better.

and now she’s betty’s mom on riverdale because ofc she is. 

i don’t know of any reading where the author isn’t immediately talking to the people who came to hear them read. the bookstore sets you up with a table at the back of the room with a pile of your books and a pen because authors need MONEY. 

“i told him it was good as your story in the new yorker” you mean his diary entry?

penn bulked up a bit in season 2 tho.

i get that they’re trying to show jenny is interning in a hostile work environment but if her superior is just talking about how everyone needs to do twice as much and jenny is already done, she wouldn’t deride her for already being done, she just would be dismissive and give her more work to do.

dan, you can start a story without a date being the title.

“blair will never forgive you for you did to her” it turns out that blair, in fact, forgives a lot of shit that chuck does to her. #truelove 

lmao like they really would take the jitney. blair waldorf would not do buses.

“the only thing lamer than dating dan humphrey, is mourning dan humphrey.” lol blair.

i didn’t realize that robots got jealous, did they update your software while i was away? now, that line would be some terrible dialogue about patriarchy with a wooden delivery.

“well, if you call a different girl every night dating.” yes, jenny, that is literally what dating is.

ok i’ve studied with some harsh writers in the past but if dan is genuinely having writer’s block then his mentor would do something to help, like if he isn’t the type to actually talk about what it is that’s blocking dan then a free writing exercise or a prompt, a book recommendation.

honestly, nate’s makeouts/sex scenes with mrs. robinson 2.0 do not look hot.

“how well do you know blair waldorf is kinda boring for those of us who actually know blair waldorf.” “not to mention, transparent.” drag him. 

chair angst! “see you at school” sounds better than nate’s “good catching up.” 

i remember when i watched in real time when blair took the pin back i was like YAAASSSSSSSSSSSS oh teenage zal, you didn’t know then that chair would become one of your notps. lol.

“i don’t even like james!” “thank you i was waiting for that.” lol serena is nicer than me, i remember when initiumseries didn’t like a dude and she finally said it and i was like so are you done now? like are you done?

“besides, it’s tourist season in the city, easy pickings.” wow chuck are you ever not predatory? 

you know, it’s interesting, rewatching gg and blair and chuck because in season 1, we see how chuck falls for blair, we see him view her in a way nate didn’t, we see him jealous, we see him enamored but really, post limo save for texting each other when she was at nate’s fitting and that one soft moment on her birthday, we don’t really see how blair views chuck because she’s so caught up with trying to work things out with nate. i mean, yeah, shippers are going to say she didn’t want to admit that chuck means anything to her, she felt guilty for sleeping with him so she threw herself into being with nate, but because chuck is blackmailing her and she’s stressed out the entire time by the time we get to the finale when they’re kissing on the dance floor and even now, it’s like hmm, i think i needed to see a bit more of what blair misses with chuck when she isn’t with chuck in season 1. we needed a little more of those texting moments where she’s happy and giddy while with chuck or a bit more of what happens in season 2 where she’s fantasizing about him and then stops herself. i just bring this up because when she’s talking about how she didn’t want chuck to know how badly he hurt her and stuff i’m like i get it, i’ll go with it but i think there needed to be more.

but dan’s writer block is stupid.  just ... write something ELSE. at least TRY.

“I know that face, that face is not your friend!” lol eric.

nate is just so ... basic. lmao. 

the hamptons is the richest they ever look actually.

“thanks for giving me another chance.” “thanks for being worthy of it.” what has jenny done to be worthy of it tho? 

“trying to ruin my marriage?” you’re a grown ass woman. 

cece just looks like she’s hitting on dan, it’s uncomfortable

i’m your biggest fan i’ll follow you until you looooooooooooooove me. 

that kiss also isn’t as hot as it’s supposed to be, i guess because it’s supposed to look hot since it’s performative. 

i actually liked serena’s dress. or well, i think it’s OK.

so finally rewatching the derena scene where dan sees the serenate kiss has me like, is dan an ass because he’d been two-timing girls throughout the summer? yes. is he wrong for being frustrated that serena is kissing nate to make someone jealous and she can’t tell him who or why? no, not when he says that it’s the same drama different city because this is exactly what broke them up in the first place, she can’t be honest with him about things that are happening even though those things find a way of getting involved in his life somehow. but this is the point of derena and the two people from different worlds context but instead of it being a class difference it’s mostly that serena always finds herself in some kind of drama involving the same people and dan will never understand why the drama has to exist at all but they love each other anyway, so it’s basically this 

which is also supposed to be chair in a different way.

what’s funny though is that those girls are mad that dan was making out with one of them when he was supposed to be meeting someone else but the girl he was making out with brought a date without telling dan so, i mean. all they had to do was change ‘date’ to ‘friend’ to make him appear more of a sleaze.

blair’s face when marcus speaks in his english accent is HILARIOUS.

lmao why would nate and betty’s mom leave TOGETHER? 

aww three words, eight letters... the way blair leans forward and holds her breath just trying to urge the words out, if there’s anything i can say about chair it’s their chemistry.

i feel like it’s unrealistic to think that dan knows how to build a fire.

also sex on the beach is like ... sand, man, sand EVERYWHERE.

xoxo zalrb

[carnivallsarchive]

prev anon here! qua just means in regard to 😅 that might just be a thing in my native language lol, but if ur asking for specifics! um, go wild!! (but your character dynamics are so 👀👀👀👀)

oh ok! blonde moment confirmed and validated <3 also, since we’re talking about character dynamics… lately ive really been thinking about lev and asya from terras town.

asya, along with matty, is one of lev’s best friends — and also, as fate would have it, her ex. these two things are closer linked than you’d think. we won’t see many of their interactions in canon, past the first two chapters and references lev makes throughout the book, but i like to think it’s enough to at least get across the gist of their dynamic 😼

lately ive just been thinking a lot of how their breakup, of all things, is what brings them together. about how lev was all set out to be one of asya’s little flings until asya broke it off, but somehow managed to reverse this by breaking it first. not to mention that the reason lev leaves asya is the same one that people fall for her: she’s too perfect.

when they were dating, asya did nothing wrong. she was sweet and polite and funny, ticked all the boxes right off. and even more boxes, as time went on: like she was shifting to exactly what lev wanted in a partner. though asya’s exes had all loved that, or maybe not noticed in the first place, lev actually started to feel uneasy by it - like something didn’t line up in their relationship, like there was a hollowness in everything asya did. like she’d rehearsed exactly who to be on the surface, but if you reached down inside her, you’d just find icy nothing.

so they broke up, lev feeling a bit dumb for citing “we didn’t click” as a reason when asya had literally been a dream come true. and asya was fascinated! bc lev was the first person to leave her instead of vice versa, and especially for that reason.

thus, lev lost the title of asya’s girlfriend, but ended up getting the title of asya’s friend instead: lev’s best, and asya’s only.

the context on their relationship past that… aah!

like i mentioned earlier, everyone loves asya. asya however doesn’t love any of them in return. lev came the closest to seeing that, and as a ‘reward’ asya developed an indulgent interest towards her, not quite as equals but a bit elevated from her usual attitude towards people. (it also helps that she thinks lev is hot.) showing lev that she doesn’t actually care about her is paradoxically also how asya does care: she’s trusting lev enough to drop a mask she’s worked on for almost eighteen years.

lev in turn accepts asya’s weird form of friendship, and does care about her, as infuriating as she can be sometimes. but there really is something to be said in the fact that for a lot of her life, the girl who calls herself lev’s best friend doesn’t actually feel much, if anything, towards her. and that this knowledge is what lev has to take as friendship.

not to mention that her other best friend, matty… jesus christ. where asya is too little, matty is so much, all the time. and matty is sitting there resenting lev for ‘stealing’ asya from him, like he ever had a chance to start with - or like asya could even feel those feelings at all. and as matty gets worse and worse growing up, trying to stay the same as he always was and trying to drag lev down with him, does asya intervene? does she help? of course not. she indulged matty only because lev wanted her to, and she’s interested by lev. the minute lev tells her to stop taking advantage of matty’s feelings/stop stringing him along, she obligingly, and without explanation, cuts all ties with him.

(what? why wouldn’t she? she never cared about matty. what do you mean that strains lev and matty’s relationship even more? then maybe lev should leave matty too. she did it. it wasn’t hard. how is this her problem?)

anyway, my point is, i just love that lev’s friendships back home were a constant mediation she had to go through alone. i love that she grew up with a friendship marked by the lack of what that meant. and if we want to talk relevance to her fall in terras town a little: i love that everything that pushed her away from asya is exactly what will draw her to eve. asya seems like she cares but actually feels nothing at all? eve seems like she doesn’t, but deep down does, so much. etc, etc.

here’s a little snippet of asya & lev to conclude with:

[vaguely-gestures-to-the-void]

Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)

Welcome back! Spoilers below!

I need to clarify that I watch Loki purely as an escape. I've got a biased perspective in that regard because I don’t actively try to find fault with the show, though there are definitely things I’m not so inclined to. This is more of what I noticed and think things mean and it’s something I’m doing for fun. Anyways, here's my thoughts on episode 2 my loves.

Episode 2: THE VARIANT

Pre-title scene

Miss Minutes’ monologue in the recap is different to the one last ep.

1985 Oshkosh, Wisconsin

C-20!

“Today’s guest performances” on a board. Don’t really know if it means anything tho.

The Iconic (TM) I Need A Hero scene.

Pony.

The green tent - the lair of Loki.

I know not everyone’s a fan of the lighting, but it made sense to me. They’re still in the dark about who Sylvie is.

Why does C-20 take off her helmet? For the drama?

I hope Sylvie cleaned her blade. Narnia taught me well.

The Time Samsung (I can’t remember what it’s called right now) says that the date’s 04/12/1985.

Loki’s first mission (?)

‘Volume 26’ - how many of these does Mobius have?? #giveMobiusajetski

“ONLY at your LOCAL AUTHORIZED DEALER” - subtext about the TVA being control freaks? Jet ski safety?

I googled Wake Magazine. They’re up to volume 20 from what I saw, whilst Loki is reading volume 26, so I guess that’s something

Loki and Miss Minutes lmaooo.

Behind Loki’s elbow is the taxidermy something from the last episode. Also confirms that Loki threatened Casey at Mobius’ desk lol.

The thing has an egg?? What the hell is Mobius collecting? (He’s a Harry Hart variant lmao).

There are little twitches in Miss Minnutes’ hands. That’s so cool!

The egg timer’s a nice easter egg (I’m a comedian).

Mobius! B-15! :)

Is it just me or do the minutemen look similar, but not exactly the same. Makes sense if they’re variants.

I just realised the lights are built into the ceiling. Whoops.

What’s Mobius’ favourite?

Couple of things:

The racks full of identical uniforms/ones just hung up on doors.

The music has started to pick up the pace, but not in the way we see later on in the episode.

There’s a sign saying ‘FARE THEE WELL’ on it. Google tells me that it’s ‘used to express good wishes on parting’. Dang that was some good foreshadowing!

The person that looks like Agatha is still present.

I wonder whether it was supposed to be colder or whether the weather was just like that when they filmed.

The pony’s still around.

I think B-15 certainty that “a Loki couldn’t have gotten the jump of C-20” comes from her experience with them. She constantly tries to make it clear that because she’s not a variant, she’d know Loki better than he would, which (personally) makes the revelation that she’s a variant feel more devastating.

Again with the lighting, they’re still in partial darkness, constantly moving in and out of the light. Whilst what Loki says about the variant setting a trap is true, it isn’t in the context that he says it. Sylvie whoops their asses later.

The black and red-orange flags remind me of tomb markers. It’s a stretch, ik.

B-15 only has tally marks on one side of her helmet.

Mobius has fake pockets in his suit jacket. They’re the worst.

The ticking increasing in tempo as they approach red line - great for setting up tension.

I believe that Loki uses personal space like a weapon - slowly approaching them from the front, and then going behind Mobius’ back when he wants his way. It would make anyone uncomfortable, especially on a subconscious level because there’s a threat behind you.

Or maybe it’s that I have different personal space boundaries, not everyone likes being approached from behind. Loki’s movement felt intentional at least.

Getting Mobius to physically turn his way because of that might have been very subtle manipulation?

Loki looking back and forth trying to judge their reactions lol.

I liked the music in this scene, it sets up tension for Loki’s first attempt at betraying Mobius but then doesn’t completely dismiss it when it’s resolved.

Ravonna Renslayer’s office

The music here is 18 morceaux, Op. 72, No. 2. Berceuse. 18 morceaux, Op. 72: No. 2, Berceuse (Arr. For Theremin and piano) by Clara Rockmore for anyone that’s curious. I found out through Natalie Holt’s Twitter (I think).

The score is, and always will be, perfection.

Mobius’ small talk amuses me.

“Why do you get to keep all the trophies from my cases in here, you don’t think I’d love having that roller skate?” Mobius, what about the thing on the shelf behind your desk????

Ravonna seems like she’s answered these questions before, but she has a fondness for him that makes me think they’re good friends.

Also does Ravonna have multiple complete collections of the Encyclopaedia Britannica in her office? What are those books??

“I hope it’s a double.” Me too Mobius, me too (drink responsibly).

I don’t get how people think Mobius doesn’t remember leaving the stains. It sounded like Ravonna was chiding him for a bad habit and Mobius just made up a remark, not confusion.

Although he does place the cup at a different spot to the rings.

The ship flying past in the windows is a wonderful detail.

“The variant likes to stall for time.” It's very satisfying to me how everything stays relevant. Every detail advances the plot/contributes to it.

“Look, I know you have a soft spot for broken things.”

“I don’t think so-”

“Yes you do.”

Both Mobius and Ravonna only look at the middle figure when referring to the time Keepers. Either the other two are side-lined or don’t contribute at all.

“I’ll delete him myself.” At this point in time, I think Mobius is serious. As the episode progresses, his status may have changed, especially after the Jet Ski philosophy session.

Ravonna’s sash on the peg reminds me of the ones the people talking to Casey were wearing in episode 1.

Man those doors are so cool.

Peak sitting outside the principal’s office energy.

Mobius whistles at Loki as opposed to talking to him like he does later.

Any screen shot from the following scene is pristine chaotic disaster bi Loki energy featuring tired-of-your-tomfoolery Mobius.

“Isn’t that precisely why I’m here?” This marked a change in Loki to me. Up until that point, he’d tried to use what he’d known, who he’d been by scheming his way to the Time Keepers. By admitting he wasn’t sure of his purpose, we’re back with the person at the end of the last episode. It’s very Loki to try all avenues to get what he wants, and after having his world turned upside-down a few times in a short period, maybe he just wanted the familiarity of his old tricks, who he thinks he is.

Loki tensing up and then trying to assert control again reaffirms what I just said.

Man, give Mobius a holiday after all of this. Loki really tested him, huh?

Loki definitely likes validation on some level.

TVA archives (a.k.a the Salad Scene)

I can’t believe that place really exists. The looks combined with the music are just *chef kisses*.

I’m not sure if I’m thinking of the right progression, but the music reminds me of a plagal cadence. Google examples and play it side-by-side, you’ll get what I mean, maybe someone knows what it really is?

On either side of the elevators near the Time Keeper statues are the signs TVA archives.

The symmetry pleases my goblin brain.

I believe the entire show was just flexing the skills of the Loki crew and I couldn’t be happier.

“Pretend your life depends on it. I’m gonna get a snack.” This was so funny in the trailers but Mobius is dead serious (delete him myself comment). And he couldn’t even enjoy his salad.

Love that the end of credits takes from some of the scenes in episode 2.

The archivist has neat glasses.

I want some TVA stationary y’all.

It’s that moment fam.

I can’t be the only one curious by the ‘DISPLACED by 000:000:002:162’. Is that in Units? It would explain why the time line looks slightly bendy whenever we see it, especially if Apocalypses are so frequent.

IT’S THE SALAD LADS!

Mobius is reading the magazine that Loki was looking at earlier. Jet skis are Mobius’ comfort character.

“Don’t set fire to the palace.”

Tom Hiddleston has so much energy, he can move so fast.

“Oh God.” - Mobius, Null Time Zone

“YOU.” - Casey, Null Time Zone

Casey!

No thoughts, head empty, the Salad (TM).

But seriously, people only seem to be at their tables with others that work in a similar section. Not hunters and analysts eating in tandem to me, folks.

Oh Casey. Please don’t hurt him.

Aw, Mobius’ little giggle warmed my heart. Owen Wilson’s giving me whiplash with Mobius. My heart can’t take this y’all.

79 AD Pompeii, Italy

They’re both so giddy, Your Honour, I love them.

Mobius snuck them out lol.

“Bird noises?”

“BE FREE MY HORNED FRIENDS, BE FREE!” The post wouldn’t be complete without this.

Loki just throwing food at people and telling them “...enjoy your last meal while you can” is top tier comedy to me.

This is the first time we see Loki openly say nothing matters. I feel like the case file on the destruction of Asgard really pushed him to treat fate as unchangeable.

LXXIX is 79. Nice one Loki crew!

Mobius’ eye twitching as he checks the variance is a nice touch.

Loki throws away the stick that was holding the goat pen closed at the end.

TVA Archives, TVA cafeteria

Mobius picked up those files so smoothly I had to re-watch it.

Their position reflected what they were talking about - when Loki thinks it’s his individual contribution, he’s walking separately to Mobius, but they meet up when working together. I loved the blocking in that little moment.

I seriously thought that Loki was unconscious when I first saw him asleep around Mobius. I’ll admit it, it felt out-of-character for someone with such bad trust issues. Both of them seem pretty tired tho.

It’s the Jet Ski conversation comrades!

I’m beaming. Mobius talking about Jet Skis was the only time I’ve really remembered it’s Owen Wilson talking. It’s such a fun line to think about!

Loki’s smile. Adorable.

Just go watch the scene, it’ll give you good brain juices.

Mobius does it all for the Jet Skis and nothing else. I don’t make the rules, the Time Keepers do.

“My own glorious purpose.” This is a recurring theme in the season. Ultimately, I think that Loki is going to run for as long as it brings in money/until Loki gets killed again. However, I do like to think that in following seasons we’ll move beyond setting up Phase 4 Marvel stuff and just get deep dives into Loki’s character, though it may happen in the later eps or not be as interesting. Part of what made this show so interesting is the new setting in the Marvel universe but it’s hard to make predictions as to whether it will last in a show featuring the God of Mischief. Whatever happens, I’m happy that we got to see Loki’s existential crisis together, lads.

The music picks up, signalling that this quiet moment is about to end.

“No one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is every truly good.”

“Scared little boy.”

These lines mean a lot to me. Loki perceives Mobius as an equal, similar to himself but not completely identical. The TVA’s whole aesthetic is Kafkaesque (Disney+ used that word), the imperfections keeping the place from looking mechanical and orderly like what the TVA promotes itself to be. Loki wants Mobius to acknowledge it, but Mobius is in the past, not addressing what’s right in front of him, surrounding him. That’s probably because Mobius doesn’t believe, he accepts what he’s been told though Loki wants to change that. He’s still focused on his job, the variant. I don’t think Mobius will struggle against change in the ‘belief’ part as long as things are rational.

Kate Herron (director) said that the Kablooie scene was improv which makes me wish we had more B roll of Owen and Tom. They seem so professional, invested and fun on set.

“No wonder you’re so bitter.” I’m sorry Mobius you sound as salty as your salad.

‘Artificially flavoured chewing gum’ Has something happened causing artificial flavouring to be preferred?

‘Blue’ has canonically changed to ‘Bloo’ by 2050 in America in the MCU. I blame capitalism.

Why does Mobius look so tiny? I say that like Owen Wilson wouldn’t look like a giant next to me lol.

Owen Wilson is 3.5 inches (9 centimetres) shorter than Tom Hiddleston. Yet he is dwarfed as Mobius. I need to stop talking about this and move on.

There’s no ‘variance energy detected’ line in the report.

“You’re gonna take my job if I’m not careful.” Loki looks so chuffed.

One day, I’ll properly address my thoughts on the shipping. Until then, I just want no one to die.

“Yeah, he’s doing great.” Mobius is so hyped. Good for him.

Owen Wilson has dimples.

Ravonna’s screen doesn’t show the timeline like it does later.

Ravonna is the done mom friend. Sane, undeserving of this, please give her a jet ski moment.

Buckle up folks because the last twenty minutes of this episode are my favourite so far.

At 34 minutes in, we get the music fading in with “Okay. But Mobius...” and a transition to my favourite composition so far. Natalie Holt outdid herself. The soundtrack is nearly constant, there’s no break for a moment of clarity anymore. The progression of events is inevitable, tying the bow on a plot line created in an hour and a half. The little embellishment from the strings (possibly) as Mobius and Loki exit is perfect. Combined with Loki’s raised fist leading to a pan to the ceiling, it prepared the audience for everything being turned upside down.

The changing camera angles and shot lengths (the continuous shot when B-15 takes the knives, the circling behind as the briefing occurs) keep viewers on their toes. The continuous shot is fluid, B-15 doesn’t look at Loki or Mobius, her reaction is natural and that just proves that the timing on that scene was impeccable. The circling behind reminded me of Loki positioning himself behind Mobius as he did earlier, but now he’s on the same side, part of the team though he continues to distinguish between himself and the variant. The building sensation that change is coming is met by the incredible swell in the music as we watch the picturesque Haven Hills get destroyed by modern technology and face the terrifying reality that is the Roxxcart store. There’s a close up on the Roxxcart storefront with school buses with the words ‘Evacuation shuttle’ in the background as we see the TVA’s minutemen come out reinforcing that even when the end is nigh, large corporations will loom over. A storm is raging with worse to come. I can go on and on, but you get the point.

2050 Roxxcart Disaster

I love that y’all are calling this the Alabama supermarket breakup. Makes me chuckle, that’s for sure.

I too hate when people can hear my footsteps. Someone that gets the struggle.

Sylvie places the TVA Samsung over a Roxxcart Security manual. She’s overridden both and is in control.

The date is 03/15/2050.

I think that the way the Hunters and minutemen hold their baton things is so that they don’t get yeeted. Neat.

As always, the beats are slick yo.

I hope the Azaleas guy gets some Azaleas wherever he ended up.

I love the way Loki says “In this storm.” It’s so satisfying for no real reason.

The wonderful Wunmi Mosaku does not get the recognition she deserves for this scene. She switched from B-15 to Sylvie so effortlessly. They’re two distinct characters, her facial expressions, body language everything changed in that instant. Even from the one line, “No, they usually survive,” her delivery had changed in a way that was noticeable. It’s uncanny, exactly what was needed when facing a foe that remained unseen. And the smile? It’s before we know the variant as Sylvie, so naturally it’s that signature Loki smile with a hint of malice we associate with the variant. Damn y’all, Wunmi’s incredible! I really hope she’s recognised for being so talented in this series, if not in all her other work!

Mobius really cares about those people. I really want his redemption (?) arc.

It’s been pointed out that even in those conditions, Roxxcart were selling blankets and water. I think it means that by 2050, cash would be defunct. If only electronic payment existed, as long as there’s electricity they can run a business. Chew on that.

If the man they speak to is 50 to 60, he was a 90s kid.

There must be a difference in the reprogramming or kind of variant selected to be a hunter as compared to an analyst. The Hunters look after their own, but the analysts (or Mobius) go as far as empathising with variants.

C-20 is sitting in front of safety standards.

“A bit amateurish.” Loki knows that the variant isn’t as skilled with magic as he is.

As Loki and the possessed people walk, the lighting becomes brighter. He’s moving out of the shadows.

Me too Loki, I’m worried about B-15 too.

Sylvie unironically saying bless is hilarious.

Randy must be hella tall.

There’s a low angle shot as Loki and Randy face off with the flickering light above with a sign hanging above them like a sword of Damocles and a physical separation. Terror is nearly constant in Loki's life now, but he responds by letting go of his drive to survive.

The subtle swells in the music just add to my rising blood pressure.

C-20’s voice over is sad lads.

“I wanna go home,” we know she’s not referring to the TVA.

Mobius seems like a caring person.

When B-15 sits up and searches the room, I think it’s her realisation. Her shiver was from fear and shock, the music wasn’t about her not seeing Loki, it was about the TVA and what had happened to her.

The head snap and the score timing matching. So satisfying.

“I would never treat me like this. Hi.” I think that’s Loki realising that his foe is not willing to talk their way through conflict.

This fight scene contradicts all the magic we see later ik, but if he didn’t want to hurt anyone and was trying to draw out the real enemy it made sense.

Some of Sylvie’s powers must come into the people she possesses. The guy punched a glass screen and didn’t even bleed.

“I have shit to do.” Sylvie wasn’t raised with court etiquette (from what we know) and her lexical choice reflects that.

Dell computers survive into 2050 in the MCU. So do those robot dogs and Roombas. I am only happy about the Roombas. Where did the real dogs go? :(

“Mobius.”

“Where is he?”

“I lost him.”

“What happened?”

“I...”

Until now, B-15’s delivery has felt slightly rhythmic, like she was used to having the same arguments, particularly with Mobius. When she trails off however, I think it’s her trying to rationalise what she’s been through with Sylvie’s possession. Her devotion to the TVA was rooted in the fact that she wasn’t a variant, her life had a purpose and it was intentional. This must have rocked her, I’m invested in where she’ll go.

THE CUT TO BLACK OH GOOD GOSH.

Sylvie, my queen. I’d roll off a cliff for her.

The person with the moustache (you know the one) has pure fear on his face.

Ravonna knows what’s up.

And so do you, yes it’s the music, go listen to it.

THE RED LIGHTING

The zoom out to that incredible hallway shot and then stopping behind the time door. It was never about him after all, he was in the background of her plans.

Sylvie’s wave in Roxxcart vs. Loki’s on the train. Discuss.

The blackout, thunder and Loki’s pause under the flickering red and white light, do y’all really want me to talk about the s y m b o l i s m????

He’s conflicted, you know it, I know it, Mobius knows it.

Speaking of Mobius, there he is, we cut back to Loki and see him make his decision, zooming back in on him.

And with that final flourish in the score, we are done with episode 2!

Cue the most amazing end credits score you’ll ever hear.

Do yourself a favour, listen to all of it, including the part after the main credits, both are Works. Of. Art.

Ep 2 review

In case you didn’t notice, this is my favourite episode so far. There are parts I didn’t take to as much, but details from the previous episode being used in the plot as well as others being explained by Sylvie in episode 3. Rewatching it was easier than episode 1 though it left me wanting more. It will get more interesting from here, but until then, that was a fun romp.

See y'all next time. I hope whoever's reading this has a wonderful day!

Part 1, Episode 1 extend review link:

[bigskydreaming]

You said the other day that you don't really like Talon stories. Do you mind saying why?

LOL they’re just not really what I’m here for? Idk, I think people tend to make a bigger deal out of this than it actually is even in my head, maybe because Talon stories have so quickly become such a staple of fics that it just seems weird not to like them? And its not like I’ve never liked one or been intrigued by a premise, I have, though specific recs elude me at the moment, there’s one I was reading on ff.net I really enjoyed, it was YJ verse.....

But honestly its really just that a recurring theme of Dick’s stories in canon - and one of the things I turn to fanfic for in the first place, to get away from, to read something ELSE about him - is dehumanization. Reducing his sense of self, brainwashing or controlling him, making him other than he usually is, even just in temporary ways....it gets old. I come to fanfic hoping to read and write stuff beyond that, and Talon fics are so often even heavier on the dehumanizing him aspect of things, like making him even more mindless than most Talons in canon are ever portrayed, and don’t get me started on how often they just flat out refer to Talon Dick as ‘it’.....its just a no thanks from me. Just not what I’m looking for.

Add to that other incidentals, like, its completely understandable in context of these narratives that the Batfam feel they have to restrain Dick while he’s a Talon and in the Batcave, but again, its just not something I’m looking to read? Because for example, another big theme of mine is how uncomfortable and unwelcome I think Dick’s come to feel in Wayne Manor over the years, given the many times Bruce has essentially kicked him out and how little effort he’s made to make it into a home for him again (like I think there are more reasons than just grief that Dick lived in the penthouse rather than the Manor when Bruce was believed dead and Dick was in charge of his estate)....so when you look at things from that angle, which I’m just kinda predisposed towards doing, the imprisonment angle of Talon fics (and the attitudes of a lot of the Batcharacters as they go about it, like they’re just being pragmatic, Dick will understand - yeah he might understand but that doesn’t mean there won’t be mental and emotional undercurrents of resentment and hurt to that understanding)....like, its just one more way/reason for Dick’s childhood home to be turned against him and made a place where he feels or will remember feeling explicitly unwelcome. I’m not saying its WRONG to take that angle in fics, lol, I’m just saying....its not for me. Its just not what I’m looking for.

Also its a bit of a pet peeve to see Talon abilities viewed as an upgrade rather than something inflicted on him by his tormentors and at BEST somethting Dick would have very conflicting views on - and tbh this isn’t limited to just him, I have similar thoughts about how Cass might feel about her own abilities and how even now that she can communicate well with others, she still feels somewhat different or removed from most people because of this ‘superpower’ that had to be ABUSED into her and that she would have traded for her father’s actual love any day - but I mean, there’s a thing in a lot of Talon fics where alongside the dehumanization angle, which Dick isn’t even just expected to just ‘get over’ once he’s back to his regular mental awareness, because its usually never even delved into, how he feels about the fact that for awhile there, he was nothing more than an ‘it’ even in his family’s eyes, and IMO he’s like, funny, I’m pretty sure I’m still the only person in this body all along, so if it was just an it to you, where exactly did you think I was? But aside from the angst I feel he SHOULD have from thinking about how easily he was viewed as just a mindless tool and pawn and thing by people, there’s a tendency to hop, skip and jump to him being okay with his Talon ‘upgrades’ because they make him so much more effective....and there’s just a WAY this is usually gone about that like, for me, glosses over how effective he was without them, and the fact that none of his family members seem to need or think they need them themselves to be effective....and somewhere in all that, it seems to get lost that the whole reason the Court even WANTS Dick so badly is because of how effective he is even already.

Plus - there’s my personal annoyance with how characters with super-fast healing are treated in narratives across the board. In comics, books, movies, shows, fics, everywhere - I ranted about this a TON in Teen Wolf fandom, its a complaint I have with Wolverine and his family in Marvel comics, etc....I vastly dislike how often its just treated as assumed that just because a character heals rapidly, like....the actual trauma and pain of injuries inflicted might as well not even matter. Like, that’s not how it works IMO? When I think about a time I broke an arm, I’m not thinking about ‘oh it barely matters because it only took a couple months to heal and when I view that in the context of my whole lifespan that’s barely anything, it was so fast’....like no, I’m thinking about what it felt like when I actually BROKE it. There’s a tendency, I feel, when characters get an ability to make an injury disappear out of sight out of mind rapidly, to just view the emotional and mental consequences of injury being inflicted as negligible, and not really mattering anymore, and I heavily disagree with that logic. IMO, these characters throwing themselves headfirst in front of everyone else as a human shield, while practical in one sense of the word, is also like, begging to be examined as oh I see, so basically you’re saying that now that you no longer need to be treated with care because you’re invulnerable, you’re worthless and the pain that goes along with all those injuries you get 100x more of now, that’s like...meaningless and fake news.

I mean, even if you make an argument for Dick no longer having pain receptors (which I’d also be heavily against because uh, if you go that route you’re also inadvertently suggesting things about his sensory input and ability to feel varying degrees of touch across the board and again its more the lack of examination of that as much as anything else that’s things that make me go mmmm no thanks)....the injuries are still being inflicted and there’s still gonna be psychological damage inflicted from processing that no one seems significantly bothered by him being ‘family niche - human pincushion for the prevention of others saying oww’ without so much as commentary.

And lastly, did I mention, I just really really reeeeeeally dislike the dehumanization angle that tends to go hand in hand with these fics.

But for the record, like, I honestly do like the Court of Owls and what they bring to Dick’s stories because all of this, ironically is precisely why they DO play so well into his core themes of autonomy and independence and self-determinism. Its just, I’m here for fics where Dick triumphs over them and their attempts to hijack him and his life for their own agendas, and I feel like a lot of the time we see a Pyrrhic victory at best, when going the Talon route, and a lot of THAT time its not even regarded or treated as such, but rather a full victory with no real examination of how Dick’s life is different now, how he’s changed not just by what was done to him but by how he was treated by BOTH sides WHILE it was done to him? 

And the other element here is like....the Court and their presence in his fics doesn’t HAVE to equal making him a full on Talon along the way, just like it never has in canon. I don’t view the fulfillment of what’s inherently a THREAT to his character as an improvement UPON his character. *shrugs* But also there’s just so many avenues for angst or emotional tangles when it comes to the Court even without making Dick a Talon himself.....just have him picturing or having nightmares of imagining his parents turned into Talons and how horrifying he’d find that, or worry in the wake of revelations about the Court that his family is now looking at him differently, imagining the threat HE could be when he hasn’t even done anything. Or there’s the angle of Bruce knowing but not telling him to try and protect him but that causing conflict OR you could go a route I’ve never seen done before, and like, have Dick and Bruce come into conflict with the Court before any of the others come along and like, save Dick from ever being made a full Talon but the point is years later the Court resurfaces and they and their plans for Dick are a complete revelation to his siblings and there’s perfectly understandable conflict because of that even if the reason is as simple and equally as understandable as Bruce didn’t feel it was his to share if Dick didn’t want to, as long as they honestly thought the Court had been neutralized, and he respected that its a painful topic to Dick that he wasn’t trying to hide, he just flat out didn’t want to talk about so it never came up.

There’s a lot that can be done with the Court, but usually they’re just utilized as a prelude to Talon Dick Grayson and bottom line is that’s just not somewhere I’m usually looking to go, personally.

BUT in the spirit of me being completely contradictory as always, again its like I said, there are some here and there that I really get into, there’s a YJ one that really delves deep into Dick’s emotions on all of this and has a prequel set during Jason’s Robin days, when they first encounter the Court, I forget the title but someone feel free to drop it in the notes if you know what I’m talking about, and @dustorange always does interesting things with the Court and Talons that’s different each time and I’m sure I’m forgetting more, so its not like.....a blanket across the board nope thing. Its just I have particular reservations about HOW a lot of Talon and Court fics play out that I’m just....not the right audience for simply because its not what I’m looking for in fics, personally.

[sunriseintropicisle]

Things that makes me happier

I gave up posting number in front of my post title, initially it was to mark whether I reach the goal of posting a writing every week, which made me had to post 52 writings for the year of 2021, and by this point I am pretty sure I am not gonna reach that number so yes, we can forget it. 

So I personally feel like recently I am in a better state of being, and have lots of idea coming up in my head. While I still religiously write on my handwritten journal, I feel like writing, in case my nonexistent reader would like to know, or give some inspirations. Lol, like who you are. 

No, really, I am just really believe in sharing, and I would love to know if my mundane knowledge or experience be insightful even to only one other person. Because I myself found multiple times that a knowledge/sharing that someone posted online impacted me greatly - hence I am just thinking about the other me who may be seeking the things I am about to say/share. 

Things that makes me happier are:

Intermittent Fasting

I have been doing IF for 2 weeks now, and yeah, it makes me feel good. I started initially because, duh, like everyone else, I wanted to lose weight. Some might want to kick me in the ass for saying such thing, and assure me that I have normal body and yada yada. And, as straight forward as it is - I just want to be as skinny as possible. Hahaha. Maybe it is something to do with me very sold into the standard beauty, or maybe it’s got to do with something in the past - I was quite cheeky. 

However, even though I always say that I want to lose weight, over the years I have never really made the effort. Some days I took it hard some days it just a normal day, me eating this and that and whatnot. But then I have noted the intention of  me wanting to be so skinny, on top of those beauty standard I believe have huge impact in me and a quite hard time in the past for being cheeky is because it simply makes me feel lighter, not holding anything within my body. Because for the context and some TMI, I have a not so good digestion, so yeah. There was a period of the time that I often I feel stuffed and bloated - which felt so uncomfortable, that I can’t stand working while sitting because I felt my stomach is getting on my way.

I tried IF a while back, and it worked for me, so now I decided to try it again now. Intention achieved. I believe it was because the time window for eating that pool all the food I eat in a day to be only consumed for certain times (I do 7 hours, my best convenience). I used to eat on times where, looking back, I was not really hungry, you know. Like breakfast - turned out (I don’t know why I forget about this) that I am not a breakfast person. All through high school I don’t remember myself sitting, eating breakfast in my uniform. 

But then I just picked up a habit of eating breakfast while my stomach is actually not really ready for it, which end up making me feel bloated that last long all through lunch and pretty much for the day - and then without me knowing the new day has begin, and the cycle starts all over. 

So yeah, IF had helped me to be to schedule my eating time which made my digestion works better I guess, and no more me having a bloated stomach constantly.

Quitting Social Media

Finally I succeed in cutting myself with social media. This, I also had tried in the beginning of the pandemic I guess - went on without social media for weeks and at that time I really felt the benefit and all, until I came back to social media and can not disconnect ever since. Even though I have been wanting to detox myself, but at the same time I felt really dependent on it.

It took me one lows moment of life to finally be able to went cold turkey about disconnecting. It was when I felt frustrated on Twitter news where every day it seems like there were a bad news - people died, people lost jobs, people complaining, the news about our incompetent and corrupt government and so on. Without me realizing, it took a toll on myself. Other than that was me who checking in Linkedin constantly at the time and seeing my friends’ profile whose climbing up the corporate ladder, while I was unsure and questioning whether I am in the right place (sounds like the problem of these days youth who lives in their own bubble, yeah?). 

So one Friday where I had one of my breakdown, I went MIA for the weekend to the people who are close to me, as well as to my social media. It’s only been 2 weeks now, but it is safe to say that I can reclaim myself within these times, suddenly lots of thinking came up to me, as if all these times the bad news maybe somewhat oppress it or something. And, I also feel more certain about what is going on my mind/heart. 

I believe quitting social media has its downside as well, as like I really am not having an update on the news (90% of my news source is Twitter - how sad yet could not be truer for most of us), I completely blind on our Covid update I even think that Covid is slowing down in the territory. Yeah, as expected you lose win some as well as you lose some, but for now at leas, I decided to win for myself. 

Olympic 2020

I have never watched Olympic before, as far as I remember. Nor that I care about it. But this time is different. I believe the fact that we are on privilege to be in the safety of home have a huge part in me having the opportunity to watch the Olympic - thanks for that. For almost two weeks I was hooked to my TV, even one time I was on my TV from 6am to 10pm and watched all the games they aired. 

To have the company to watch was a big advantage as well. As now I have my sibling in the house, I teamed up with my sister to watch the Olympic, we both did not know that we enjoyed it so much that we invested in each game we watched. We cheered for athletics, we scream for badminton, we gasped for weightlifting. It was a very fun experience. For almost two weeks I change my work station in front of the TV and so did my sister. 

On top of that, what made Olympic special and very intrigued me was the diversity of the athletes. I guess I just did not exposed to such diversity as it was presented in the Olympic. I was presented with some very foreign countries whose name I hardly heard, or the people whose features were different one another. 

Questions like why some sports dominated my a certain race while other sports dominated by others also popped out in my head. And not to mention my awed to each of these Olympian athletes when they perform their sports, I always wonder what it takes for them to be there right now - how many years of training, how much tears were sacrificed and relationships had to be let go. There were just so many elements of the Olympics that made me really drawn and invested in it. 

Youtube

Surprise, surprise. 

Well, my attraction to Youtube recently was different because of the previous para - Olympic. Because of getting really drawn into the Olympic athlete, I was searching lots of reference videos. And as we all know how we are being spied and we are mere a number for these big tech companies, they get to know me better know and present me with more content that I love (or else I had never discovered). 

I am not sure what I searched previously, but Youtube chose that I now an avid cultural researcher, jk. Yeah, I watched a lot about something culture-related on Youtube because it is funny, looking back, I was once really attracted to be a global citizen and what not (what a flavor of youth!!), traveling the world, meeting people from other countries, make impact in the NGO (before long I know the NGOs are mostly funded by big corporations as well, heart breaking reality for me). 

What I am saying is that the savvy man-made tech of Youtube has made me rediscover my old interest about culture! And I just actually learn that you can learn a lot from Youtube’s comment section, which debates often open up you to things which are (1) people can comment based on data and have every intention to educate other people; and (2) people more often be ignorant, and how much you are on the right stance, with the wrong people, you can still be, yeah wrong. 

Somehow the lesson I gained in the Youtube’s comment section was really grounding to me to realize these polar of people, and in the end what you can do is only simply be you because after all, people really will hold on to their own opinion and belief. 

Jigsaw Puzzle 

RECCOMENDED 100/100. Damn, wasn’t it a good choice when one day I decided to try out jigsaw puzzle to entertained myself while waiting my partner to reply my chat message? 

On the one of the breakdown moment I mentioned I believe that I had to have distraction and I thought of either a puzzle or a coloring book. I ended up buying both, but I am positive that I am more drawn to jigsaw puzzle. I first ordered a 1500 piece puzzle and when it first came, I kind of secretly afraid that I will give up. Also my mother being my mother and she was pessimist that I would finish the puzzle. 

But one time I was just playing by myself, not expecting anything or even asked anyone to help me (afraid that I put too much task on other people), yet my sister helped me out, and a while after my mom helped we out as well. Resulting in the puzzle finished in 3 days. Soon after I order new puzzle, and so did my sister. Her order came first and it was a 1000 pieces puzzle, which we finished in 2 hours (boo, it turned out to be too easy), and now we are opening up our 3rd puzzle and tried to work on it. 

I am just really happy that I discovered it, it is really great way to bond and filling time. And every time I successfully put the pieces together - that just very satisfying feelings! I believe I will have more and more puzzle to come in the near future. 

--

I hope one of the thing above will work out for you and make you happier as well as it had affected me. 🤗