#that was my dream….seven years ago 😅

[seiya-starsniper]

"Oh I'm dreaming of you again. If I wouldn't be dreaming and if you would be really here, then I would tell you I love you."

*slides $5 across the table* dreamling. you know what must be done.

Ayyyy I FINALLY got around to doing this one! 😅😅 Starting my birthday off right with a present for you! 💖💖

[AO3 Link Here]

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When war comes to the Endless Empire, Ser Robert Gadling, known simply as Hob to his men, is on the front lines of the defense effort, fighting for his monarch and the love of his life. The second title is a secret he keeps close to his breast, for there are no scenarios in which a Knight would be deemed the type of lover fit for a King. 

The war is long and brutal. The Morningstar Kingdom had timed their invasion well, choosing to strike in the heat of summer, ideal conditions for soldiers who were born and raised in lands far hotter and more unforgiving than Hob had ever known. Their forces are fierce, but Hob’s are fiercer, for they have something to protect, mothers and wives, sons and daughters.

Hob only has his King. Orphaned at a young age, Hob was recruited as a foot soldier into the royal army as soon as he was of age, and his quick thinking and heroics on the battlefield earned him a coveted place in the royal court, right as the Endless family had established themselves as monarchs of the realm. 

Try as he did to be polite, Hob did not fit easily into a life of court politics. He could not hide his brusque mannerisms, his frank manner of speech, and it was that attitude that endeared him to King Morpheus years ago, establishing a unique friendship most other nobles would sneer at.

Hob never cared for noble opinions before King Morpheus, and to this day he still did not. It is his king’s face that he sees in his mind’s eye as he cuts down the Morningstar’s soldiers, pushing their forces further back. It is his king’s voice that rings in his ears as he and his men march through the pouring rain, caked in mud, blood, and sweat. It is his king’s eyes that Hob sees in the moments after an arrow pierces through his armor, knocking him off his horse and rendering him unconscious.

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When King Morpheus receives word that the battalion Hob was leading had fallen in battle with no known survivors, he nods solemnly and dismisses the messenger, along with the rest of his court to give those who had lost a son, brother, or lover, time to mourn.

What his court does not know, however, is that once the throne room is empty, Morpheus collapses to the floor and weeps. He weeps for his fallen people, for the lives that this pointless war has cost his kingdom, but in particular he weeps for Robert—no, Hob Gadling, his oldest and most treasured friend.

Hob had been one of the only members of Morpheus’s court that did not treat him like the outsider he was when he was appointed king. When the Endless came to power, they divided the small municipalities into their own kingdoms, placing each of their seven children as the reigning monarch. Dream had suffered many cutting remarks and passive aggressive attacks, but Hob had been open and honest with him, even if their relationship did not start off in the most positive manner.

To know now that Morpheus would no longer hear Hob’s laugh, would never again be able to break bread and share stories over a warm open fire with him, that he would never feel the warm touch of the other man’s hand upon his shoulder, was more than the king could bear. He retires early to his bed, and spends the next days alone in bedchambers, claiming a sudden illness, but in truth, he is mourning for what could have been, what he was too cowardly to reach for, what he could have had, if only he’d been brave enough to confess how he felt.

And now, it was too late. 

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When Hob finally escapes his imprisonment behind enemy lines, he leaves a trail of bodies in his wake, including the head of the Morningstar King. He steals a horse and rides away into the night, desperate to return to his men and tell them that everything is over. The war is over. The Morningstar and their warriors will trouble them no longer.  

When he comes across the nearest army camp flying the Endless flag, he heads immediately for the general’s tent. But instead of finding his second-in-command, he finds King Morpheus there, sprawled across what was once Hob’s bedroll, a cup of some unknown liquid in his hand. When he sees Hob enter, he freezes and drops the cup immediately, and the smell of cheap liquor fills the air between them.

“Oh,” King Morpheus whispers in a broken tone that absolutely breaks Hob’s heart. “I'm dreaming of you again.” As Hob steps further into the tent, he can see the king’s brilliant blue eyes are stained red from crying, and his cheeks too are covered in tear tracks that criss-cross along his face. It is breathtaking and beautiful, agonizing and unbearable, all at once.

“I am no dream,” Hob says softly as he approaches his king. Had he put those tears on his lord’s face? Had Morpheus thought him dead the entire time he’d been imprisoned?

“Oh but you are, for why else would a dead man stand before me and haunt my grieving heart so?” Morpheus replies, his breath hitching now as his body threatens to start sobbing anew. “Why else would I see you, if not as a reminder for every unspoken word, every regret I hold for not confessing to you you my deepest desires?"

Now it is Hob’s turn to gasp, his heart beating wildly in his breast. Surely there was no way that Morpheus was alluding to sharing the same desires as Hob. But then, why else would his king be here, in Hob’s tent, laying amongst Hob’s things, acting as a grieving widow, if he didn’t not feel like one himself? 

Hob takes another step closer, and though Morpheus startles, he does not flinch back from him. Hob then kneels down in front of his king so that they are eye to eye, and steels his nerves for what he plans to say next. 

“What would tell me, my liege, were you not caught in the thrall of a dream?” Hob asks. “What words do you hold in your heart that you could tell me before?”

Morpheus chuckles, and it sounds like shattered glass. 

“If I were not dreaming?” he asks. “If I wouldn't be dreaming and if you would be really here, then I would tell you I love you, Robert Gadling.”

Hob he gives up all semblance of self control and brings his hands to his king’s face. Morpheus gasps at the touch and Hob wants to kiss him, wants to pull this beautiful, wonderful man into his arms and never let him go.

“You’re—” Morpheus breathes, his eyes filled with tears once more. “You’re alive.”

Hob nods. “It is not a dream,” he says. “Touch me, and feel that I am real.”

Morpheus lunges towards him and seals their lips together in a kiss. Hob kisses him back, uncaring of the fact that any random soldier could walk in at any moment. All that matters to him now is that he and Morpheus are reunited, that he is alive, and in love with someone who loves him back. That is all that matters, for tonight.

[paintbrushnebula]

Have you ever thought about making a Ghostflower Tangled AU? Because I can't stop thinking about Miles with 70 feet of blonde dreads, and Gwen's failed smolder and begrudgingly guiding Miles to see the lanterns. It just works so well in my brain.

Hi! YOU! YES YOU! You've got my number! Because I LIVE for Ghostflower x New Dream. Gosh, I live for Spider-Verse x Tangled, period! I've had it rotating in my brain for about a year now, although I guess I've never really talked at length about it or shared any of my ideas for a proper Spider-Verse x Tangled AU, have I?

I was a little embarrassed before, if I'm being honest 😅. But if y'all wanna indulge me, THEN HYYYES IMMA WAX POETICALLY ABOUT THIS AU TILL THE END OF TIME AND SPACE.

Rapunzel - Miles Morales Eugene Fitzherbert/Flynn Rider - Gwen Stacy/Ghost Spider Mother Gothel - Olivia Octavius Captain of the Guard - George Stacy King Frederic - Jeff Morales/King Jefferson Queen Arianna - Rio Morales/Queen Rio The Stabbington Brothers - Tombstone and Ben Reilly/Scarlet Spider Maximus - Widow (Web-Slinger’s horse) The Snuggly Duckling Pub Thugs - The Sinister Six (they’re soft-confirmed to appear in Beyond the Spider-Verse after all) Pascal - isn’t in this AU.

So the overall plot of Tangled remains relatively the same, with the cast of Spider-Verse implemented into it, of course.

18 years ago, King Jefferson used the sundrop flower to heal the dying pregnant Queen Rio of Corona. Prince Miles is born with golden, ultra kinky 4c hair and magical healing powers, gets kidnapped by Mother Olivia, locked away in a tower deep in the woods, the whole shebang.

Now, Gwen Stacy is the secret identity of masked legendary thief Ghost Spider, currently a respected, high-ranking member of the Spider Society, a crime syndicate run by The Kingpin in the neighboring kingdom of Vardaros, the most powerful in the Seven Kingdoms due to its members' all wearing masks that hide their faces, rendering their identities completely unknown to anyone and impossible for any law enforcement to track them down. Recently, Ghost Spider has been commissioned by The Kingpin to steal the Lost Prince of Corona's crown from the palace.

So Ghost Spider has been on the run for years from the Captain of the Coronan Guard, Captain George Stacy, her father, who has no idea the masked thief he's hunting is his own daughter.

And don’t think I haven’t thought about the TV series exclusive characters!

Cassandra - Lyla (you have no idea how happy I was when I came up with that) Lance Strongbow - Hobie Brown/Rebel Spider Kiera and Catalina - Peni Parker and Margo Kess (they’re not kids in this though) Uncle Monty - Aunt May Varian - Miles G. Quirin - Aaron Davis Adira - Jessica Drew Hector - Miguel O’Hara The Baron - Kingpin (obv) Anthony the Weasel - Web-Slinger Baron’s Henchmen - Spider Society Lord Demanitus - Peter B. Parker King Edmund - Spider-Noir/King Benjamin Hamuel - Spider-Ham/Hamuel (he’s not called “Spider-Ham” ofc but he is still a talking anthropomorphic pig in this) Zhan Tiri - The Spot

Your concepts about Miles with golden dreads, Gwen's smolder, her taking him to see the LANTERNS OOHHHHHHH yeah imma just have to draw all that, sorry. Talking about it aint enough. Expect a buncha Tangled x Spiderverse fanart to be flooding my blog soon XD

[the-little-moment]

Nice to meet you! 😊

Hi there! You can call me Lil. I'm in my early 30s and my pronouns are she/her. This blog is dedicated to Star Wars content, mostly Clone Wars/The Bad Batch.

About Me

I majored in traditional art in college and have recently started learning digital art as well.

I love anything to do with flowers, plants, and gardening.

I enjoy reading and writing poetry. A lot of the inspo for my art and writing comes from poetry.

I'm a painful perfectionist when it comes to my projects. 😬

I'm married to a huge Star Wars fan whose knowledge, esp. for EU/Legends stuff, far exceeds my own. He's the one who got me to watch The Clone Wars years ago when I said the animation was too ugly. 😅 (It still is in those early seasons; I'm sorry.)

I'd love to make friends on Tumblr, so always feel free to leave asks, comments, or message me.

Masterlist

My art is all tagged as "#the little moment art".

The tag I use for my writing, which is also being added periodically to My Ao3, is "#the little moment writes".

I'm currently working on two main fics:

"Not Just the Carcass, But the Spark", which is an Echo fic,

Part One - Home

Part Two - Regrets

Part Three - Consequence

Part Four - Lost

Part Five - Dreams

Part Six - Heat

Part Seven - Free

Part Eight - Fragile

Part Nine - Hurt

Here's art for "Carcass" too: There's Never Been a Time

And

"Only What Burns You Back", which is an AU of "Carcass" that focuses on Crosshair.

Part One - Out From Under Our Feet

Part Two - Loss

Part Three - Changed

Part Four - Only Smoke

Part Five - The Sniper and the Surgeon

Part Six - Memories

Part Seven - Through the Heart

Part Eight - Choices

Part Nine - The Hardest Love

Part Ten - Missing

Part Eleven - The Search

Part Twelve - A Strange Peace

Part Thirteen - Second Chances

Part Fourteen - Rosemary

Both fics feature my OC, Senna, who is my profile pic. You can click "#dr divehdi" below to see everything related to her, including art.

Febuwhump 2024

Day 6: Broken Promises

Day 8: Love Sees Not with the Eyes

Angstpril 2024

Masterlist

Other Works

Lunch with Clone Command (Senna meets with some of her friends from the first clone command class. It doesn't take long for things to turn ugly.)

The Quiet Part (An injury brings Crosshair back to Kamino, where he says more than he means to.)

A Small Visit (Four years after she was first hired as part of the Republic's secret cloning project on Kamino, Dr. Senna Divehdi is surprised by a late night visit from one of her favorite cadets.)

A Tender Memorial (Dr. Senna Divehdi, Chief Medical Officer of the GAR, reflects on her time with the clone soldiers of the Republic.)

In Another Life (Crosshair can't face his family after all they've been through, especially what happened to Tech on Eriadu. Even though his brother is now recovered from his injuries and living happily with his fiancée on Pabu, Crosshair's guilt forces him away from the others. In an attempt to maintain their life-long connection, Senna moves away from the rest of their family, knowing it's the only way she can still see Crosshair. This fic is an AU of "Carcass".)

The Dress (Echo has never had an opinion on flowers, never even really noticed them, until now.)

Braided Together (A collection of hair stories featuring OC Senna and the Bad Batch.)

The Embers at the End (Eleven years after the end of the Clone Wars, Sergeant Char, one of the last remaining Imperial clone troopers, is forced to trust a traitor when he and his brother have nowhere else to turn. This fic takes place in a possible future of "Not Just the Carcass, but the Spark".)

[dwarrowdelf]

o my brother

Seven drabbles for @maedhrosmaglorweek which I’m definitely not two entire weeks late for 😅 You can also read them on AO3 with any relevant author’s notes, but I’m posting them there in batches.

one: childhood/growing up

Of the brothers, Maedhros and Maglor were closest in age. They spent nearly their entire childhoods as a family of four, roaming the cultivated wildlands of Aman. Tirion upheld them as darlings, once the crown prince returned to the city: bright-haired, quick-witted Maitimo and sweet-voiced, silver-tongued Macalaurë, ever together. Two shining jewels to adorn any debate parlor, concert hall, or royal party. There were the other brilliant princes, and of course the beloved princesses, but the eldest house was ever the most brilliant and most beloved by the Noldor, in the days before Morgoth spread his discord to peaceful Valinor.

two: the oath

Maglor had not, as many suspected in later years, helped to craft the oath. Fëanor was a great orator and wordsmith in his own right without his second son’s help.

Their father had stood in the square under the Mindon and spoken his oath fiercely and without forethought. And what a rousing oath it was! The younger sons had been quick to follow. Maglor had looked to Maedhros and found him already looking back. Neither of them had wanted to swear it, but they had agreed, with that look, not to abandon their little brothers.

Funny how that worked out.

three: the long peace

“I cannot believe the audacity of that boy!”

“‘That boy’ is the Lord of Nargothrond,” Maedhros says, amused.

Maglor whirls on him, finger pointed in a hilarious mirror of their mother at her most high tempered. “He’s our little shit of a cousin who abandoned us on a hunting trip that he planned and then found the Secondborn! Without us! No, don’t look at me in that tone of voice, I’m very cross!”

Maedhros’s tremulous hold on his expression cracks, and he breaks into laughter. Maglor smiles to himself, relieved to see the tension finally slipping from his brother’s shoulders.

four: nirnaeth arnoediad, reputation

Maedhros’s well-earned reputation precedes him. Orcs would sooner run than face him, fearsome as he is; even trolls and wargs are wary.

Maglor’s reputation precedes him too, carefully crafted. The kind brother, the soft brother, nevermind that softness alone could never hold the least defensible line of the leaguer. But it is good to be underestimated, good to let everyone forget that he was the one Maedhros trained against when relearning the sword.

That soft reputation is why Ulfang’s eyes are wide with shock in the head that Maglor cleaves from his body for the crime of betraying his brother.

five: change and loss of self

Being burnt by the Silmaril did not break Maglor as it broke his brother, though losing him nearly did. What broke Maglor, in the end, was realizing that the burn would never heal such that he could play any two-handed instrument again.

He contemplated, then, following in the footsteps of his brother or grandmother.

But many years ago, when Maedhros still could not leave his sickbed, they had picked apart the Oath. It seemed fit to kill them all, but they thought if just one of them lived, perhaps the rest might have a chance, however small.

So Maglor lives.

six: alienation and isolation, AUs and fix-its

Maglor dreams, sometimes: a voice telling him it is time to come home. His mother telling him not to stay out too late, his father calling that dinner is ready. Maedhros as he had been, slinging an arm around his shoulders and telling him he’s done enough and to stop hiding in his room before they all forget what he looks like.

Sometimes he wakes up after those dreams at dawn or dusk, and a red-orange sky tricks him a moment longer.

He confesses all of this to a stranger near Mithlond, and finds himself on a boat sailing West.

seven: fate

Maglor never came to the timeless halls, and Maedhros feared. The only tapestry he could find of his brother was a vast stretch of shore with one figure, alone, walking. Anyone who might have news, he asked.

Lost, faded, disappeared, they all said, some even with pity.

Maedhros reembodies last of his brothers, and there, there is Maglor. Maedhros folds himself without thought into supplication older than Valinor, begs forgiveness from the one he most wronged.

Two scarred hands deign to cradle his face. “There is no need. Only do not leave me again, I beg you.”

“Never,” Maedhros swears.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

The day that Prince Steven Harrington turns twenty is the first sunny spring day after a seemingly endless spell of heavy rain that left the castle grounds drowning in mud and its inhabitants freezing and miserable in the inescapable dampness of everything.

But that is not why he will remember it so vividly for the rest of his life.

It is also the day that his father, King Richard, chooses to ride off into war with great fanfare, to strengthen the glory of Hawkins and expand its wealth and territory.

But this also isn’t why the day will be forever ingrained in his memory.

No, the actual reason Steve knows that he will not forget his twentieth birthday until the moment his heart stops beating and his eyes close forever is an entirely different one.

It is the day he finds the dragon.

I wrote these lines exactly one year ago today, very naively thinking it would be the start of a moderately short fic that I just needed to get out of my system.

That was the first time this story defied all my wildest expectations. 😅

I posted the first chapter on January 16th, then went to bed. When I got up the next morning, my AO3, discord and tumblr were on fire. 😳 It began to dawn on me then that this fic would be something bigger.

It turned out to be an almost 100k long beast. It took me seven months to finish. I still daydream about it. It has made rec lists. It has fanart. It has kindled the most precious of fandom friendships for me. It is everything I dreamed of and more when I imagined posting my own fics and was too shy to do so.

I'm a bit in my feels about it today. 🥹

Thanks to you all for your love and support and happy birthday to Hic sunt dracones. 🐉❤️

[singsweetmelodies]

hullo everyone 👋❤️ it's me again, hi, and i'm back with yet another too-long, probably too-sentimental post. this one is also about a f1 rpf milestone of mine, because of course it is, but this time it's about YOU as well.

allow me to set the scene a little first: a few weeks ago, i was double-checking the date on my first ever f1 rpf fic so i could make my sappy "i can't believe it's been a year you guys" post at the right time. i was going through my AO3 stats, and in so doing i happened to glance over at my little user subscriptions count - and proceeded to nearly fall out of my seat, because that counter was at 98. WHAT.

now, i'm not usually the kind of person who makes a big deal about amounts of followers, or whatnot. that's not really why i'm in fandom. but there is one exception, and that exception is: AO3 user subscriptions. because an AO3 user subscription is like... you're pretty much saying "i like this person's writing so much that i want to get a fucking EMAIL when they post a new work." to me, that's one of the biggest compliments ever. (maybe it's just because i personally am very stingy about my AO3 user subscriptions, lmao - i think i have about twelve, currently, if it's even that much. so the fact that 98 of you liked my writing enough to want that? and it's only barely been a year since i posted my first fic to this account? that blew my fucking mind, in the best way ever.)

i remember thinking to myself, "ohhh, if i get a few more in a couple of months' time, i need to do a phoebe and have some sort of a fic giveaway to celebrate the big 100 <333"

well, today i checked again, and there are a hundred and seven user subscriptions to my AO3. a hundred and seven. and THAT is just... well fuck me, i don't think i even have the words to express how much that means to me. over a hundred of you ACTUALLY LIKE MY WRITING THAT MUCH??? i can't quite reconcile it in my head, but... it means everything. it really does. i am so, so honoured - and also mildly teary-eyed, and definitely about to say a whole bunch of way-too-sappy things. this fandom is just so incredible, and supportive, and... AAAHHH, i love you all so so much. thank you so much for loving me back ❤️❤️❤️ unlike the monaco gp and charles SORRY, i had to do it. ouch. i had to 🥲🙈❤️

anyways! i did promise a fic giveaway, even if it was just to myself, so GIVEAWAY TIME IT IS!! you have all given me so much - endless support, smiles and love - so this is me officially opening up my writing folder to give something back to you, in turn ❤️

how this is going to work is:

step 1: you have to interact with this post in some way. (and by that i mean either reblog or comment, not just a like. it doesn't have to be a complicated comment or anything - just a ❤️, if you want. but just something so i know you're not a bot, lmao.) you have until Friday the 23rd of June - which is to say, 16 days from now. yes, sixteen. of COURSE. <3

step 2: i collect the names/URLs of everyone who interacted, and put them into a random name picker thingy. i will then use that to - randomly! - pick a P1, P2 and P3. (the emphasis on "random" is because I KNOW there are going to be some of my friends accusing me of fixing the results. I'M NOT GOING TO, GUYS. smh smh smh. it's going to be completely random, i swear it on my honour as a piarles shipper. 🙏)

step 3: PRIZES 😍🏆

for P1, what i'm offering is the following: an afternoon of unlimited access to the entirety of my WIP folder (including longfics, snippets, ideas and dreams and everything in various states of completion.) you then get to choose any WIP/snippet/idea you like the most, and i will write that in full and dedicate it to you. <3

for P2: also an afternoon of access to my WIPs folder, but excluding the longfic ideas - because i love you guys, i do, but i'm only human. i can't write all my longfic ideas at once, much as i wish i could 😅 bar longfics, though, everything else is on the table - you get to go through it all and pick whatever you like the most, and it'll be yours.

and for P3: pretty much the same as P2 - your choice of whichever of WIP idea (bar longfics) that you like the most, fully written and dedicated to you :D

why am i doing it like this and not offering a "prompt me whatever you'd like" type thing? well, if you really want, i can do that. the thing is just - i have way, WAY too many WIP ideas, and i'll probably never get to writing even a quarter of them if i don't give myself some form of accountability. and i feel pretty safe in saying i have enough WIP ideas that there's probably something in there for everyone. so it's a two birds one stone type of thing - a gift fic for you, and assurance that i will actually write at least some of my WIP ideas for me. (also idk about you, but i always adore hearing about other writers' ideas and seeing the ways their brains work 👀)

if you guys would prefer a prompt thing, though, then we can absolutely do it like that too! after all, at the end of the day, this is for you. i want you to like it, and think it's a cool idea, and celebrate this one with me <333

because this is, from the bottom of my heart, a thank you. thank you to each and every one of you who hit that "subscribe" button on AO3, and helped me reach a fandom milestone i didn't think i would achieve for a long while yet. thank you for the endless support and enthusiasm and love. thank you, thank you, thank you. and i love you all ❤️❤️❤️

[melis-writes]

Ensnared [Carlito Brigante x Reader, 18+ Smut] Oneshot.

Read on AO3. | Fanfic Masterlist | Fic and Prompt Requests Info.

18+, explicit smut oneshot.

“And whose cock is in my mouth right now? Don’t tell me you’re jealous." / “. I wouldn’t show you my face if I wasn’t a changed man ready, to tell the truth.”

Five years has passed since your fiancé Carlito was imprisoned, leaving your engagement hanging onto fate and your heartache. Fighting between what you love and know, feeling lied to and betrayed from Carlito as your heart yearns for him, you refuse to take off the very engagement ring he gave you as a sign of commitment. In bitter attempts to move on, its unbeknownst to you that Carlito's been released with only one priority in mind–finding you and convincing his fiancée that Carlito's a changed man and wants nothing but the future he promised to you before. While Gail seeking out Carlito's company too, you find yourself in a shocking position to suddenly see your fiancé once again and deny everything until Carlito ensnares you all over again with the truth and closure your heart begged for.

[WARNINGS]: Mentions of prison/jail time / Mentions of drug dealing / Alcohol consumption / Heavy smut / Rough sex / Oral sex / Blowjob / Touching & foreplay / Dirty talking / Fingering / Orgasm control / Spit kink.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]: The Carlito Brigante x Reader smut fic we've all been waiting for is finally here!! 😩🙏🏻 Better late than never. 😅 My very first Carlito fic would be incomplete without angst + comfort, intimate fluff and much needed rough, sloppy sex. 🥵🥵 Carlito's more than eager to finally be with you after five years apart and won't relent to show you badly he wants you either. Our reader's name in this fic is Evelyn Whittaker and you'll see how you/she has felt for Carlito over the years and that it'll take a lot more than promises to mend a broken heart, but truth and closure. ❤

[ April 1993 ]

‘Friday…’ You let out a soft sigh, resting your chin over the palm of your hand as you sit at your favorite window side spot at your local café, wondering to yourself how many more times you can aimlessly stir your steaming cappuccino before letting your mind wander off even farther.

Ordering the same coffee, drinking from the same style cups, and sitting at the same table for the past six years at your café makes you realize you’re more of a creature of habit than you admit.

A lot of your own favorite things and places were also favorites of Carlito’s—just another reason why you enjoy them as much as he did.

The very café you sit at alone as the rest of the afternoon dwindles by is the very same one you and Carlito had your first date in back in 1986—seven years ago now.

Back then you’d laugh at the idea of coming here alone without Carlito’s presence, especially after the two of you memorized each other’s favorite orders; Carlito always knew you loved a classic cappuccino, and you knew his order would always be a black Americano.

In the same café at the same seat where you and Carlito laughed, joked, and had two hour-long conversations with richly delicious coffee and various sweet treats passing your lips, you were now alone, single, and had been for the past five years since Carlito was imprisoned.

Five years ago you were giddy, planning out your dream wedding day with the man you claim to be the love of your life to now sitting glumly by the window wondering when your heart will stop searching for Carlito in places you know he’ll never be in.

The initial fresh sting and pain of heartache aren’t there anymore and life has found other ways to preoccupy and distract you, but your mind’s never failed to wander and hurt you just by thinking of everything you and Carlito had from beginning to end if you didn’t make an active effort to stop thinking about it all the time.

The first two years were without a doubt absolutely unbearable; you’d barely be able to use your napkin for anything else except let it completely soak through with your tears, crying in public and always leaving your cappuccino half finished.

The pain’s never left you entirely, but there’s a familiar numbness that’s gotten you used to everything—you didn’t have a choice about that. You’d feel every ache in your heart whether you wanted to or not.

You gaze down at the engagement ring Carlito gave you upon your ring finger glumly; a two-karat pear-shaped diamond, glistening at every angle.

With your refusal within the last five years to take off the ring and last night spent crying over it until your eyes felt numb and you physically couldn’t anymore, the engagement ring now serves as a reminder for as long as you keep it on your finger, you won’t give up on Carlito entirely.

At the same time the ache in your heart tells you that such a beautiful ring over your finger is a result of Carlito’s criminality; how else would Carlito or any other person afford a two-karat diamond just like that?

‘Drug money.’ Carlito, his heroin heists, and the massive drug ring he ran in East Harlem got you this engagement ring and secured your future with Carlito, but also was a reminder as to why Carlito was in jail.

‘Five years. Twenty-five more to go.’ You feel your bottom lip trembling just thinking about the thirty-year sentence Carlito’s going to be serving, and it doesn’t look like anything’s gotten in the way to change it now.

Nothing can help Carlito or change his sentence now—at least not to you with any reasonable explanation and justification you can come up with on the spot.

You know there’s simply too much evidence that proves Carlito did everything and everything. The thirty-year sentence in a way is very much deserved when it comes to the list of Carlito’s proven charges since everyone in the courtroom including Dave—Carlito’s lawyer and close friend you can hardly stand—knew Carlito was fucked because there was little to no defense to be said against such incriminating, hard evidence.

You unfortunately remember it all so perfectly from the moment you took your seat in court until the very end when you barely had the energy left inside of you to step out.

You had never sobbed so hard in your life, silencing your tears and cries by keeping a napkin constantly pressed up to your face.

You remembered staring in horror at the judge as Carlito’s final sentence was read out and that your anxiety only doubled to cause deep nausea inside of you to watch your fiancé rise to his feet only to be handcuffed.

You remembered how right then and there Carlito had turned his head to look at you and only you; giving you a smile with a calm, content look on his face as if nothing was happening—the complete opposite from your bloodshot, teary eyes and shaky hands.

“Don’t worry, baby. Everything’s gonna be alright. Don’t you worry about me.” Were Carlito’s last words to you before the police began to escort him away and the tears pooling in your eyes blurred your vision once more.

30 years without Carlito—you didn’t have a clue as to how you’d go on, knowing you’d be almost sixty years old by the time Carlito’s set to be released.

Still, the question is the same now and will be the same every day for as long as you think of Carlito and keep the engagement ring on your finger; not to mention his belongings that are still in your apartment.

You don’t think you’ll ever recover from the fact your fiancée was a drug lord for years in East Harlem, making millions with the heroin trade and lying about all of it to you throughout the years.

The lie Carlito told you about how he made his money and what he did for a living was that Carlito bought and sold vintage, luxury cars and was also a co-owner of a diamond business on the side; all very believable knowing his stellar reputation and ability to prove it all to you when you came down to see him.

While it may have been true Carlito bought and sold expensive cars and made quite the profit off of selling diamonds, he didn’t mention the storage rooms filled with heroin; processed, refined, and smuggled out there by Carlito and his few, trusted men.

Nonetheless Carlito’s “living” was a good lie that you believed in, but a lie you also believed would sustain your marriage and lifestyle as well as the future lives of your children with Carlito too.

It was because of all of Carlito’s lies that you were ultimately confused when Carlito was arrested and went to court, simply out of being completely clueless about everything.

Even Dave didn’t tell you anything since he believed it was for Carlito and Carlito alone to tell you, but Carlito would never have the time or opportunity to—especially after he got arrested.

It didn’t take you long to realize in the courtroom what had just happened; the lies, the drugs, and Carlito’s criminality—just to name a few.

None of that stood a chance against your feelings and love for Carlito, but you only lost your fiancé that day—not your common sense.

Carlito was influential, powerful, and feared in the streets of East Harlem and kept up the same lies to you since you two met in 1985, but when he was gone, he was gone, and you had to figure out quickly for yourself as to what you would do next.

Would you go see Carlito in prison for the next thirty years as regularly as you could? Would you cut off any contact with Carlito entirely and let Dave know you’re done?

You didn’t decide on either of those—not exactly. After all, nobody ever got in the middle of your relationship with Carlito nor did they even try.

Dave had no intention of helping you; he was considered infamous in the world of law after Carlito’s case and earned the title “mobster lawyer” after the media caught a whiff of just who Dave constantly kept representing in court.

Dave could be whatever the hell he wanted to be—you don’t care about him, but the last thing you’d ever want to think Carlito as is a mobster.

You had to sit there and watch your fiancé get handcuffed and taken away from you, starting a thirty-year prison sentence.

Carlito saw the pain, heartache, and betrayal in your eyes as he was pulled away from you after his trial ended because Carlito knew alone that he was the one who fucked up your relationship, held everything back, and lied to you.

Carlito knew too that the trial would have the most lasting impact on you; he knew he was going to jail, but he didn’t know how you’d react taking in all of this at once which is why Carlito expected you to come to visit him in prison so he could explain everything to you, but he also knew deep down you wouldn’t come and you shouldn’t either.

You were the world to Carlito and he knew then more than ever that he didn’t deserve you. Even if you hated Carlito, moved on, or found someone else, Carlito would come to find you thirty years later just to say sorry and explain what happened all that time ago simply because you deserved to hear the truth one way or another. Carlito owed you the truth, but you owed him nothing.

After everything and all those revelations, you weren’t going to let your heartache and emotions get the better of you; should you go see a liar in prison and risk being lied to some more? Visit a heroin dealer? Talk to a mobster?

There’s simply too much to mention, a lot to say, many questions without answers or ways to get them, and you’d never bother trying to get any reassurance from Dave who didn’t tell you a damn thing about Carlito’s case from the very beginning.

Carlito never called you or wrote letters on the other hand not because he didn’t want to, but because he wasn’t allowed; you believed the former.

‘I don’t care.’ What you aren’t going to do is run after Carlito and have him believe whatever he was doing was right.

You love Carlito to death which is more than enough of an explanation as to why you refuse to take off your engagement ring. You’re not living in denial, but you’re still madly in love with Carlito.

Your heart belongs to Carlito but vice versa holds true too. Thirty years won’t change that for either of you even if the other doesn’t know how one feels.

‘As long as I live… I know I’ll always love him.’ Knowing you, maybe you’ll still yearn and love Carlito in thirty years’ time with no care what all that passing time does to either of you.

For now, Carlito’s engagement remains over your finger perhaps as just another bittersweet reminder. Maybe one day you’ll be ready to take it off or replace it with someone else’s ring.

‘No. No, no..’ You know you could never do that—never want that.

‘Stop.’ Brushing the thought off of your mind immediately, you take a small sip of your cappuccino. ‘Stop thinking about this shit—not again.’

Today is Friday after all and you have the rest of the afternoon to yourself to relax after work; tonight is a planned girl’s night with your best friends—ready to drink and dance the night away at a club to welcome the weekend like you all regularly did.

It’s not the end of the world after all, even though some nights had you drowning in your own tears from missing Carlito and pretending he was lying next to you in bed.

Someway, somehow, sometime, you’ll have to move on eventually and that’s exactly what you thought you could have done about six months ago.

With much insistency and influence from your friends, you went on your first blind date and if you said you weren’t interested, it would have been a lie.

The guy you met up with that night for your date was fairly attractive and cute, and because of the jewelry you wore with several rings on your finger at the time, your date neither noticed nor questioned the diamond engagement ring on your finger.

Your date was fascinated and interested in you too much to look anywhere else, trying to make the best of the night you both had together.

As you two made conversation, you learned your date worked for a law firm and the two of you got along well from the beginning of the date to the end.

When the date ended, you refused any kissing or hugs—not that it was offered because you pulled away so quickly and you didn’t want him to drive you home either no matter how much he politely insisted.

Once you got into the back of your taxi, you were already in tears. Nothing wrong had happened during the date nor was it unpleasant in any way but you were adamant you would never do these silly blind dates again or even call this guy back.

Everything felt wrong like you were explicitly cheating on Carlito. No matter how many blind dates you went on and cuter guys you met, they would never be Carlito or anywhere close to the man you truly love.

Once you got home that night, you threw off every ring and piece of jewelry except for your engagement ring.

You still hate how after five years the pain can be so fresh at times, rushing to you all at once even when the topic of love is brought up in a conversation for example.

Your heart was set in stone knowing you would never love anyone else the way you loved Carlito; he left that much of a hole in your heart but ensnared you with his love in return.

You still believe Carlito’s your soulmate, but he’s a soulmate you refuse to see and speak to even if you wanted to.

To reach Carlito in the prison he was being held in was one tricky thing, but getting to and from there was dangerous enough, not to mention being constantly watched and searched by the prison guards if you even got there.

Carlito and Dave both knew how difficult the prison made it for visitors of any kind to come, but Carlito was willing to split mountains in two and make anything work so as long as you wanted to come to see him.

But for Carlito to know for sure you’d like to come to see visit him and speak with him in prison, he would have to ask you through Dave first.

[ 1988, 3 months after Carlito’s sentence ]

Sitting in Dave’s office with tears stinging in your eyes, holding down your bitter anger and keeping your gaze off of that “asshole with a law degree”, you’re here and only here because there’s something about Carlito.

‘Bastard made Carlito look like a mobster in front of everyone, but he forgets who he is. He’s a mobster’s favorite lawyer. He represents crooks, the corrupt, murderers, and every bit of filth in this town if it means he gets his five minutes of fame. Carlito is none of those things. He deserved better, point blank.’

Dave notices how you sit on the very edge of the couch, wanting to be as far away from his presence in Dave’s own office.

He gives you a welcoming smile, but you return a scowl, causing Dave to sigh softly in defeat and adjust his posture in his seat. “Evelyn, listen… I won’t take up too much of your time because I already know you can’t stand me.”

“That’s right.” You say back, staring at the carpet beneath your heels.

“Okay,” Dave sighs again, rubbing his temples. “I understand your frustration and—”

“I don’t want your sympathy.” You glare at the floor, forcing yourself not to look up at him. “What happened, happened, and you called me last night to tell me you had something about Carlito, so just talk already.”

Dave nods at you, holding his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, fair enough. It’s just a simple question really but uh—Carlito wanted me to ask you in person.”

You raise your eyes up from the ground for the first time in ten minutes, staring at Dave and waiting for him to get to the point already.

“Do you want to see Carlito?” Dave asks you.

“What kind of question is that?” You ask back, already feeling your heart begin to ache in your chest.

“I mean like in prison.” Dave clarifies, “do you want to visit him every now and then?”

“He’s the one asking?” You raise your brows.

“Well, yes.” Dave nods, confirming. “He wanted an answer for himself.”

“And I want the answers to a lot of things too, boo hoo.” You say back sarcastically, getting up from your seat before your emotions get the better of you. “Like why you kept Carlito’s case away from me, why Carlito lied to me about almost everything—”

“Evelyn, please.” Dave quickly rises up from his seat in an attempt to reassure you. “All of what I could have told you is and was confidential! You know I can’t tell you these things, or anyone—”

“You’re just as bad as him.” You point an accusing finger at Dave. “No, by the way. No, I don’t want to see Carlito again and you can tell him that. Don’t ever ask me this again!” You throw open the door to Dave’s office, gritting your teeth out of frustration.

“And don’t call me again either, do you understand?! I only tolerated you because Carlito called you his friend, whatever good that did him. Carlito isn’t here anymore and yes, I do blame you for much of that. I want nothing to do with you, Dave. Nothing! I don’t care if you’re New York’s next hotshot lawyer, you’re nothing to me just as you did nothing worthwhile for Carlito!” Just like that, you make your exit by slamming Dave’s office door shut behind you.

Dave grimaces, staring down at his office desk glumly before his eyes wander down to the hidden telephone on call under his desk that you aren’t aware of.

As Dave can no longer hear your footsteps or anybody’s presence around his office for that matter, he leans down to pick up the telephone and put it back on the corner of his desk. “Did you hear that?”

“Yes, I did,” Carlito answers on the other end. “She’s upset, Dave. It’s normal. I expected this much.”

“Yeah, me too. Dave murmurs. “She’s…something.”

“Everything’s already gone to hell.” Carlito sighs deeply. “I don’t want Evelyn to hate me, but it might be too late for that.”

“So, what do you want me to do?” Dave slouches back down in his office seat.

“Get someone to her,” Carlito suggests. “You know what I’m talking about. I want protection for Evelyn, however, you can get it and I want that someone doing so being the most reliable, subtle guy you’ve got. Keep an eye on her, see who she’s with and where she is. I just want her to be safe, happy, and healthy but don’t get me wrong when I say this—I don’t want my lady stalked, do you understand me?”

“Yeah man, I get it. That’s a good idea actually.” Dave nods to himself.

“I care for her.” Carlito continues, “and I don’t give a damn how many years the judge said I gotta rot in here for, I just want to know if my baby’s gonna be alright. Long as I know that it’s gonna keep me sane in here.”

~

Since that day and not at all to your knowledge, Carlito had one of his men follow and track your every move.

Just as Carlito wished, it wasn’t that you were “stalked” but that one of Carlito’s bodyguards who had worked with Carlito and known him for years in the ‘business’ just kept a watchful eye on you and nothing else.

You were followed from afar at an appropriate distance and Carlito’s bodyguard changed cars very often so as not to give away his identity or have you notice him in the slightest.

As a result, it was impossible for you to tell in any way that someone was following and watching you, and at the same time, you didn’t feel that way either.

Carlito’s bodyguard had one job and only job only: keep an eye on you, see who you were with, where you were and if you were safe. Anything notable was to be mentioned like for example if you fell ill and went to see a doctor so Carlito would be notified of everything.

This way, Carlito felt that he could still be with you knowing what was going on in your life and when you’d come home for the night, the bodyguard would park with another associate outside—taking turns during the night keeping watch.

More than anything, you were just protected ever since, because it had nothing to do with a lack of trust for you or suspicion but that Carlito cared for you deeply, and knowing he couldn’t see you physically or even hear your voice over the phone was agonizing enough and in prison, Carlito had very few reasons to be happy.

As long as you—Carlito’s girl—whom Carlito still considered his fiancée—was happy and safe, then all could and would be considered alright in Carlito’s world.

Today, however, everything’s different because Carlito’s a free man—something you personally don’t know, but Carlito will make sure you come to find out before anything else.

Carlito’s not a free man today because he had a strong, credible alibi or that he appealed his sentence only to provide full proof and evidence clearing his name, but Dave exploited Carlito’s sentence on a legal technicality.

If it was one thing Dave did well in his cases, it was exploiting the fuck out of them to make sure his clients no matter how corrupt, guilty, or murderous they were, got out one way or another.

Carlito’s a free man and nothing else matters, including Dave’s unorthodox and immortal ways.

While you spent your morning routine earlier today getting ready for work, Carlito was back in court with a very displeased judge sitting in front of him not buying the “I changed” bullshit speech Carlito was telling him.

Still, today’s Carlito’s day, and nobody else stands a chance; all have no choice but to finally hear Carlito out.

Carlito didn’t care who believed what he said or what others thought of him now. Carlito knows he’s a changed man and he had to be, especially if he wants to get his old life back without crime and be a better man for you above all things.

Having a lot of truthful explaining to do to you is a priority to Carlito and it’s not something to be taken lightly and done over a phone call or a letter.

Carlito knows he needs to see you in person as soon as possible and without Dave being there. Carlito wants to make it all happen tonight on his first day out—all business and all truth finally settled for good.

After five years of dreaming about your face and touching you in his dreams, Carlito’s not going to wait a day longer when he knows now it’s in his control to finally see you.

Still, released out of prison or not today, that doesn’t mean Dave intends on breaking his word with you. Dave still refuses to talk to you about Carlito or tell you anything about him just as you asked, but it’s Carlito’s ex-girlfriend before you—Gail—whose been constantly calling and visiting Dave’s office wanting updates and just about anything she could get out of Dave about Carlito recently.

You knew who Gail was but not very well—bumping into her on the street after her dance lessons when Carlito was by your side a few years ago.

Gail knew then that you were Carlito’s girlfriend and she didn’t do anything to interfere or protest that fact, nor did she actively seek out Carlito’s comfort.

The only thing Dave let slip out of his mouth to Gail was that you and Carlito technically weren’t together anymore since Carlito was in jail, and Gail was just the perfect naïve type to believe Carlito would not only be out sooner than the thirty-year sentence he was served but that she could have a chance to rekindle her relationship with Carlito too.

Carlito would have never thought Gail would assume or want such things, but he did know one thing: Carlito’s answer was and always is going to be “no” unless it had something to do with you.

If it’s one thing Carlito has an abundance of still and without any doubts is money. Everything Carlito owned before he went to jail was all very legal in property and investments, and Dave had assured Carlito it would all be there.

Nobody could tell Carlito otherwise when it comes to his bars and clubs that he knows he’ll be coming to see one by one over the next few weeks to pick up his revenue and keep an eye on things as Carlito’s life returns to a steady normal.

The only thing that changed tonight was that on his last watch, Carlito’s bodyguard let him know you and your girlfriends were planning on going to a specific club Carlito owns tonight at 10 PM.

It’s the very nightclub Carlito co-owns with that gambling addict Saso, and if anything you’re completely unaware Carlito owns the club let alone has anything to do with it; just another thing Carlito needs to explain to you once he finally gets to see and talk to you.

Carlito’s mind is set: he’s going to see you tonight and will be at the club before you.

“Ten PM,” Carlito confirms, tapping his finger against his watch. “Evelyn will be there without a doubt.”

“Finally going to go see her, eh?” Dave pours two half cups of whiskey on the other side of his office. “And not a minute too soon.”

“She’s the only person I’ve wanted to see for the past five years.” Carlito lets out a drawn-out sigh, rising from his seat. “I’m not doing that shit on the streets no more and you know, I know it,” Carlito points at his chest. “And for Evelyn, I gotta start tonight. She won’t believe a word I say now, and I can’t blame her.”

“You’ll figure it out, man.” Dave hands Carlito a glass of whiskey, holding his. “You always do, but you’ve got other things to worry about too.”

“Yeah?” Carlito takes the glass of whiskey from Dave, raising curious brows before drinking it.

“Gail.” Dave points out, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“What about her?” Carlito licks off a drop of whiskey from his lips.

“That pretty little thing,” Dave chuckles, knowing he’s attracted to Carlito’s ex-girlfriend a little too much.

“What about her?” Carlito asks again, clearly unphased by Dave’s behavior.

“She knows your back in town,” Dave points out, “and she’ll definitely want to see you. I’m only surprised Gail hasn’t called me a hundred more times to ask where you’ll be. What do you want me to tell her? You know she’ll come knocking any day now.”

“Gail…” Carlito murmurs, a little irritated by her constant insistence to see and hear from him. “I’ll see her again sometime but differently. On my terms, and as friends. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but…” Carlito glances inside his whiskey glass, taking another sip. “I don’t wanna lead her on because there is no Gail and me, Dave.”

“Mhmm.” Dave nods, pressing his lips together. “Guess whatever was going on, went on in the past, huh?”

“Just that,” Carlito confirms, finishing his drink and setting the empty glass down. “Whatever she wants to call it now, I’m really not interested. She’s just an old friend to me now so—” Carlito walks towards Dave’s office door, gesturing to his phone. “Maybe keep her wondering where I am for now. I’m busy tonight.”

“Yeah man, don’t worry.” Dave begins to head back to his office desk. “Enjoy yourself tonight. You’re a free man after all, and you deserve it.”

“I appreciate it.” Carlito gives Dave a small wave before exiting his office.

Carlito Brigante didn’t say the words “I changed” in front of his appeal trial to appease the jury or the judge, but because he believes it himself to his very core.

Five years locked up inside has changed Carlito and for the better, reminding him that he’s going to do nothing dishonest, forget the streets, and clear his name no matter what reputation he holds now and you’ll be the first to hear about it all—truthfully.

~

Getting ready for tonight before you meet up with your girls and carpool to the club wanting to do nothing but drink and dance for the rest of the evening, you stand in front of your full-body mirror across from the foot of your bed and admire your sultry outfit for tonight.

Dressed in a mini, sequin, strapless black dress, you smoothen out the sides of your outfit and turn around before the mirror, admiring the way the sequin pieces sparkle as light reflects over it.

It’s the perfect, sexy outfit to wear tonight hugging you in all the right places but providing the perfect amount of comfort to sit and dance in a crowd all night; sleek, sexy, and effortless.

You reach down, adjusting your new, black platform heels over your feet and beginning to appreciate how wearing heels over the years to practically any occasion you could get away with has taught you how to comfortably dance in six or even seven-inch heels if you wanted to.

Moving back to your vanity table, you add another layer of mascara over your lashes but ultimately keep your makeup light for tonight, knowing you’ll practically sweat it off dancing anyways.

Checking the time on your night table and knowing the cab will pull up in front of your apartment any minute now, you grab your matching black sequin purse and sling it over your shoulder—ready to start your Friday night.

Purposefully arriving before you, Carlito steps out of his cab, and without bothering to take a look around him or waste another moment, Carlito walks directly inside his club.

Saso may have run this place (surprisingly not to the ground) when Carlito couldn’t for the past five years but nothing changes, and certainly not the ownership as Carlito’s come to collect and see just how honest his favorite gambling addict’s really been during his absence.

Dressed in a three-piece black suit with a muted shade of purple for a dress shirt and without a tie, the rest of Carlito’s semi-formal look for tonight is topped off with his signature all-gold jewelry; an 18k gold chain link bracelet, a matching wristwatch, and a pinky ring set in a square with a black stone.

If you don’t see Carlito coming, you can certainly pick up on the scent of his expensive cologne bound to raise the attention of some curious eyes passing by.

The packed club blaring with loud dance music as servers desperately try not to get their tray of expensive drinks knocked over and make it to tables in one piece to serve their patrons aside is one of the first things Carlito sees upon entering.

With everything looking relatively normal and routine, Carlito knows the club will carry on this way until at least 4 AM.

“Hey, boss!” Pachanga—one of Carlito’s most trusted bodyguards—calls out. “Ah, man, there you are.” Pachanga grins, standing before Carlito and patting his shoulder. “Came early just to see you bossman when I heard you were comin’ out.”

Things like rekindling or reminiscing over the past are far beyond Carlito who knew he’d come back to have everything under his control and ownership get right back to him—men and bodyguards included.

“Where’s Saso?” Carlito asks, shutting down any further opportunity for small talk.

“Over there, boss.” Pachanga points upstairs to the second level of the club, just towards the office.

Saso adjusts his tie in front of one of the mirrors on the wall, getting some much-needed space from the sweaty crowds around him.

“What do you think?” Carlito’s eyes dart from the sight of Saso back to Pachanga. “Think the old fuck’s gambled away all my money?”

“Not if he values his life, boss.” Pachanga chuckles, beginning to crack his knuckles. “But lemme know because I ain’t come empty-handed. Maybe we can cut it out of him.”

“We’ll see,” Carlito murmurs, beginning to head up the stairs to get to Saso.

Just as Carlito makes it upstairs and is a mere few steps behind Saso, Saso can make out his old boss’ reflection in the mirror he’s looking in which causes him to gasp and stumble back before turning around to face Carlito.

“So you already know what this is about.” Carlito raises both of his brows at the terrified-looking Saso before him. “No welcome back party for me or anything? Where’s my money, Saso?”

“I told you I wouldn’t spend it, boss.” Saso shakes his head frantically, “a-and I didn’t! I didn’t!” Saso points to the office door behind Carlito. “I kept it in the safe after all this time, y-you know! I only took a little bit to keep things smooth and running, b-but nothing else, I promise!”

“Why so scared then, old man?” Pachanga smirks, purposefully dragging the handle of his switchblade against the staircase railing as he walks up.

Saso’s terrified expression is now equally shared towards Carlito and Pachanga. “W-well, last time you come in here, you threaten to cut my liver out in front of e-everybody! Here!” Saso pulls out the office keys from the pocket of his trousers, handing them to Carlito shakily.

“That was five years ago,” Carlito points out, quick to take the keys away from Saso.

“N-no way you’ll change your mind now that you’re back, then.” Saso swallows hard.

“It’s better off this way.” Carlito rolls his eyes before pointing a finger at Saso. “Now, I’m gonna go into my office and take a look at my money. If anything’s missing or I see you skimmed off too much, I’m gonna cut the rest of your organs out with your liver, do you understand me?”

“Y-yes,” Saso stutters.

“Good.” Carlito narrows his eyes, gesturing to Pachanga. “Watch him. I don’t want the old fuck out of my sight if things go wrong. He might bolt.”

“Got it, boss.” Pachanga grins back at Saso, taking a few steps up to get closer. “Let’s spend some quality time together, huh?”

Carlito turns on his heel, approaching the office door and unlocking it. Once he steps inside and flicks on the lights, he sees nothing’s changed; not the furniture or even its arrangement—everything’s left the exact same way it was.

Carlito locks the office door behind him and moves to close the blinds of the office windows first.

Because of how well-kept and clean the office appears, Carlito already assumes Saso hasn’t stepped foot in here for five years either.

Keeping quiet and focused, Carlito uses the same combination to the safe before popping it open. Inside, Carlito notices massive stacks of cash just as he expected, and simply from eyeballing it, Carlito estimates there’s possibly about half a million dollars in here.

Only impressed by the amount, Carlito reaches in and takes out two stacks of cash—running his fingers through the money and counting it.

‘All hundreds. Solid, banded up.’ Carlito notes before putting the money back inside the safe and shutting it tight.

Carlito begins to change the combination on the safe; this is his money, always will be, and always has been.

Now that Carlito’s around to oversee the club’s operations and earnings, the cash will come to his hands before it ever reaches a safe.

The money inside the case is all for you and Carlito; the future he wants to settle on and have with you after all.

“Hey, boss!” Pachanga knocks on the office door, calling out.

“Yeah, what is it?” Carlito says back, still busy with changing the combination.

“I’m keeping our friend Saso here company but I just wanted to let ya know, your lady friend is here with some girls!”

Carlito pauses, staring at the numbers on the combination lock. Of course, he knows you’re coming tonight but now that you’re actually here, it’s a different story altogether.

“Where is she?” Carlito asks, finishing up with the combination.

“Just downstairs on the dancefloor, boss! Uhhh, she has a corner seat and waved to me when she got here.”

‘Evelyn waved at you…?’ Carlito furrows his brows, brushing off his hands. “I’ll deal with it.”

“And is Saso good to go, boss? Or is liver on the menu tonight?” Pachanga snickers.

“Yeah, let the old man go but not before reminding him whose office and money this is now. I don’t wanna see his face again tonight.” Carlito orders, moving towards the windows of the office.

“Will do, boss. Will do!” Pachanga moves away from the office door and back towards Saso.

‘Who…?’ Carlito peeks through the closed blinds, looking towards the center of the dancefloor, then to the corner seat Pachanga directed to.

Instead of seeing you sitting there much to Carlito’s anticipation, he instead sees Gail sitting next to Stephanie and another girl that Carlito doesn’t recognize; friends of Gail’s nonetheless.

A deep sense of disappointment hits Carlito at seeing Gail sitting there instead of you, but he can’t exactly ignore Gail here either.

You’re still on your way to the club with your friends but Carlito knows you’re not here yet and that’s enough for him.

Carlito sighs deeply, adjusting his tie before unlocking his office door and stepping out. He gives Pachanga an acknowledging nod before Carlito walks down the stairs and to where Gail sits.

Carlito knows the club of all places isn’t the best place to answer Gail’s incessant questions he knows will come, but Carlito may just be able to have Gail finally take a hint about how he feels about her.

Within a few minutes, your cab finally pulls up to the front of the club where you arrive with your girlfriends.

All of you can already see how packed the club is from the outside alone, leaving no room to look around and get distracted by the scenery.

Staying close to all of your friends, you three make your way straight to the bar to start with some drinks and warm up before hitting the dancefloor for the rest of the night.

Neither you nor Carlito sees one another in the club, but the two of you aren’t far from each other either.

“Hi ladies, what can I get for you all tonight?” The bartender asks as you all take a seat on the stools next to each other.

“One round of tequila for me, please!”

“Bloody Mary, please. God, I’ve always wanted to try one of those!”

“And for you, miss?” The bartender turns to you with a smile.

You lean your elbows onto the bar table, smiling back politely. “I’ll take a cosmopolitan.”

Over on the other side of the club, as the bartender prepares you and your friends’ drinks, Carlito stands before Gail’s table who is more than ecstatic to look up and see him.

“Charlie!” Gail exclaims happily, practically jumping up from her seat to embrace Carlito.

“Gail, hey.” Carlito smiles, putting his hands over her shoulders gently.

Gail giggles, cupping Carlito’s cheeks. “I knew you’d be here!”

“Did Dave tell you?” Carlito chuckles.

“Yes,” Gail nods back excitedly, “but only because I asked and asked and asked until he couldn’t keep quiet anymore ‘cause are you kidding me? You’re finally out and I get to see you, Charlie! How could I not come?”

“My first day already and it seems like everyone wants to see me.” Carlito places both of his hands on top of Gail’s, taking her hands off of his cheeks but squeezing them gently.

“I’m here for you and you only.” Gail tugs on Carlito’s arm to lead him to her table. “Food and drinks on the table, come! Come join me! I’ve got my friends here too but oh, they’d love to meet you. You’re all I’ve been talking about! Oh, you’ve no idea how much I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too honey, but now’s not a good time, you know?” Carlito doesn’t move from his spot.

“Why not?” Gail looks back at Carlito over her shoulder. “You didn’t go see your girlfriend first, so I just thought…” Gail looks towards the bar, watching you sip your cocktail next to your friends. “I thought Evelyn saw me at least, but she didn’t even come to say hi.”

Carlito’s eyes widen as he spots you by the bar, but Gail attempts to grab his attention again.

“Well, come on.” Gail beams, hugging Carlito’s arm. “At least stay with us for a while. Evelyn’s not going anywhere, is she?”

It’s right then and there that you turn your head to the side while relaxing with your cocktail that you spot Carlito and Gail across the bar, staring back at you.

‘Carlito!?’ You almost drop your cocktail from the shock of seeing Carlito there alone, and your heart instantly races in your chest in response. ‘No… But he’s in jail, right? Or was he ever?’

Carlito most certainly doesn’t look like a man who's gotten out of prison at all.

Shocked and frozen in spot, your environment blurs around you and you can no longer feel the heat of the crowd packed around you or even hear the music blaring around you.

The tips of your ears and the nape of your neck burn and prickle from the shock, but from a betrayed-like feeling and confusion—all trying to make sense as to how Carlito is here.

Carlito makes eye contact with you for only a split second before you put down your cocktail and immediately disappear into the crowd.

“Evelyn!? Girl, where are you going?” You can hear your friends calling out from behind you, but you ignore them, ducking and moving through the crowd until you get to the women’s washroom.

You duck right before you get near the women’s washroom, making it look like you’ve gone in to hide.

In reality, you’re holding your tears back and rushing to the very end of the club right up until you feel someone grab you by both of your hips, stopping you.

You squeal, feeling the firm pair of hands turning you around. You spin to see Carlito holding onto you, staring at you with wide eyes filled with anticipation. “Evelyn!”

“What are you—” In shock, you attempt to pull away from Carlito.

“Where are you going? I’ve been looking for you all night—” Carlito only tightens his grip on you.

“All night?” You breathe, instantly feeling a rush of anger come over you as tears sting your eyes. “Welcome back, Carlito. Was I going to be the first to find out you’re out of jail?! Or were you not going to bother to come to me until I saw you with Gail there—huh?!”

“Is that all that you saw?” Carlito sighs, “baby, don’t be like this—”

“Don’t call me baby!” You cry out, swatting Carlito’s hands off of you. “You’re a liar! I can’t even believe you’re here right now! Oh my God. When did you get out and why didn’t you tell me—”

“I got out TODAY!” Carlito emphasizes, trying to convince and reassure you.

“You got out today and you’re at a club?” You scoff, unconvinced. “You expect me to believe that bullshit?”

“Yes, because I also expect you to believe that this is my club. I own it.” Carlito stares at you, waiting for a response.

“What?” You mumble, furrowing your brows in confusion.

“This?” Carlito extends out his arms, gesturing around the packed nightclub. “This is all mine. I own this club, legally. I’m too old to come up here dancing and drinking and you know that. Now, will you please come with me?”

“Where?” You feel your throat tightening and a sense of guilt beginning to hit you.

“To my office, upstairs.” Carlito points up. “Come on, come with me, please. I have so much to tell you.”

On the verge of tears, your hands begin to tremble. “Carlito…” You still can’t register to yourself that your fiancée is here right here and now, having no idea what’s going on yet at the same time feeling like you’re about to have a nervous breakdown.

Carlito gently wraps an arm around your waist as you nod at him glumly, looking away. He pulls you through the crowds and leads you upstairs without having a single person bump into you.

Gail looks up from where she sits wither friends, watching Carlito’s protective and loving hand remain over your hips as he guides you to his office—leaving her all alone tonight.

Gail frowns but pretends it doesn’t bother her, looking away. She’ll get through the evening by continuing to eat and drink as she said to Carlito she would.

As you come upstairs, you see Pachanga—one of Carlito’s old bodyguards or more so known to you as just a “good friend” or “Carlito’s assistant”—smiling at you like he’s been waiting to see you all night too.

You really begin to believe now that you’re not having some sort of fever dream but that everything’s about to make sense—or at least you desperately hope so—on Carlito’s behalf tonight.

Carlito opens his office door and you practically stumble inside, still staring at him in disbelief as he locks the door behind you—leaving the two of you alone from the heat of the club face to face for the first time in five years.

Carlito turns around, letting out a soft sigh. In your eyes, he sees hate, betrayal, and a million questions—nothing relieved or reassured whatsoever but it’s what Carlito’s been expecting from you for the past five years, righteously. Carlito’s presence means nothing now without answers.

“Baby, listen.” Carlito puts his hands up, taking a step towards you.

You immediately step back, raising both of your brows at him. “Who are you referring to—me or Gail? The first person you really went to see as soon as you got out of prison, Carlito like I’m still supposed to believe all of this.”

“You think I’d lie to you?” Carlito frowns. “What do I have to do to—” But Carlito catches himself on how ridiculous that question would sound now considering he did lie to you almost religiously for years on end.

“Because you’re a liar!” You scowl, crossing your arms. “Because you lied to me for years and will do so again so I don’t believe a goddamn word that comes out of your mouth nor will I again.”

“Then why did you come up here with me?” Carlito raises a brow, asking you.

You stare back at Carlito, feeling tears pooling up in the corners of your eyes before you shake your head. “Goddamn you, Carlito.”

“What are you really upset about, Evelyn?” Carlito begins to approach you again slowly and this time you don’t back away—tears streaming down your cheeks. “Because if you ask me, the only fucking thing I care about is you, not whoever else decides to approach me at the club because they pestered my lawyer to find out where I was. I know you didn’t want to hear anything about me, Evelyn, but how could I get to you in another way?”

“If you’re out…” You swallow hard, “then why wouldn’t call me or come to my apartment today?”

“Because you’re here.” Carlito points to the ground.

“How did you know that?” You squint your eyes at him, growing suspicious.

“That’s not important.” Carlito shakes his head. “What’s important is that—”

“No!” You push Carlito’s hand away from you again. “Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me, okay? You owe me too many answers and apologies before you can even think of laying a finger on me.”

“Okay, okay, honey.” Carlito shows you his hands, moving back and respecting your space. “At least hear me out, please. I know that’s the only damn thing you’ve wanted to do for five years now and I was fuckin’ dying to talk to you too.”

“Yeah?” You sniffle, looking at Carlito with teary eyes and only feeling all the worse for cutting off all contact related to him.

“But like I said…” Carlito paces around his office before opening up the mini fridge near the corner of the room. “I knew you were upset and angry with me. You have all the right to be, I won’t tell you how to feel or what to do.” Carlito takes out a bottle of coke and whiskey, setting it down on the counter.

“Right…” You bat away your tears, watching him.

“I know it.” Carlito shuts the mini fridge door, standing back up and taking the two liquor glasses on the counter, beginning to prepare drinks throughout his conversation. “Firstly… There’s nothing between Gail and me. She called and wrote to me in prison but what good did that do her? Or better yet—” Carlito opens the can of coke, adding an equal amount to both cups. “What did it change? Nothing. Her coming to see me tonight is a surprise, considering I told Dave to keep his mouth shut because I knew this would happen but there is nothing between Gail and me, baby.” Carlito looks back over at you, “and there will be nothing. You know how she gets.”

You watch as Carlito adds the whiskey over top of the coke, giving the drinks a quick stir before holding both glasses in his hands and turning to you. “But like I said, this place? I own it. It’s my club. She knows that too, but it’s public knowledge. You can look it up for yourself too, you don’t have to take my word for it.”

“Maybe I wasn’t planning on it,” you murmur, keeping your arms crossed.

“I think you were.” Carlito walks over to you, handing you a drink.

“How would you know?” Curious as to how Carlito will answer this one, you take the drink from him.

“Because of this.” Carlito points to your engagement ring, causing your cheeks to flare up scarlet from blush and embarrassment. “You know I haven’t forgotten about that either. That I don’t consider it any other way.”

“You still think I’m your fiancée?” You’re surprised you can even get that sentence out without breaking down into tears again.

“Yes actually, I do.” Carlito reaffirms. “Now or in thirty years, I still do.”

“You actually expect me to believe that too, don’t you?” Another tear slides down your cheek, and you’ve never been more relieved for wearing waterproof makeup tonight.

“I do.” Carlito extends out his free hand for you to take. “Because I know damn well you wouldn’t have stood in here for a second with me if you didn’t believe me. You wouldn’t wear that ring knowing what it means to both of us and our relationship and because you know I’m here for you with nothing else standing in the way of what we had and what we have. Nobody’s ruining that for me. Not tonight, not ever.” Carlito notices your eyes widening as you listen to him. “Whatever damage I caused between us was my doing, Evelyn. I wouldn’t show you my face if I wasn’t a changed man ready, to tell the truth. I don’t have the right to beg for your forgiveness but I am begging you to hear me out, baby. Please.”

You take Carlito’s hand, squeezing it and nodding in understanding. “O-okay.”

“Come here, baby.” Carlito leads you to the seats in his office, gesturing for you to sit.

You take your seat on an armchair next to his, taking a shaky sip of your drink to ease your nerves.

Carlito gets comfortable in his seat, putting his drink down on the coffee table in front of the two of you.

You squeeze your eyes shut and give out a little sigh before you begin to speak. “You were gone.” You force yourself not to cry any further. “Just like that, you were gone and everything we had was gone too. Drugs, Carlito. Really?” You open your eyes again, staring at Carlito in disappointment. “The streets run red with blood because of these things and yet you lied to me about everything you did.”

“Not everything.” Carlito corrects you. “I told you everything I could but at the end of the day, I was living the fast life before we even met. You know more than Gail would ever know, even in the past. I wanted you to know more—trust me—but you know that kind of lifestyle—”

“The fast life.” You repeat.

“Not for me.” Carlito takes his drink off the coffee table, sipping it as he leans back into his seat.

Just the look in Carlito’s eyes to you now is filled with nothing but desire—yearning and dying to touch you but Carlito can still feel the cold distance between the two of you, upsetting Carlito more than you could know.

“I know.” You nod slowly. “Even though that asshole attorney of yours wouldn’t tell me anything, I figured enough for myself. That’s not you, Carlito.”

“I’m done,” Carlito tells you with more than enough belief in his own words. “I’m done and I don’t care whether the judge bought what I said or not because it’s the truth. I changed. I’m a changed man, I’m not getting caught up in this shit anymore. You can see it for yourself, baby. I’m retired. What I have now is what. This is enough for me.” Carlito swallows down another sip of his drink, looking at you with anticipation next. “And I want to start over again with you, however you want it.”

“You don’t have to start over.” You put your drink down, rising up from your seat and standing in front of Carlito.

For a moment there, Carlito believes you’re about to leave his office just like that, but you don’t.

You remain in front of him waiting, and you notice how Carlito begins to gaze up and down your sequin dress and body. “I missed you so much, Evelyn.” Carlito takes your hand in his, lacing his fingers in between yours. “Just understand this: I would do whatever to have you and me back the way we were before all of this. Anything. It’s all on me.”

“I don’t want to start over with you, Carlito.” You let out a shaky breath, feeling nothing but love, trust, lust, affection, and everything you ever felt for Carlito in these past five years rush back to you.

“You’re still my fiancée.” Carlito reminds you, running his finger over your engagement ring. “Come here, please. Let me touch you. Let me show you how much I’ve missed you.”

Holding back more tears, you toss your purse off of your shoulder and back to the armchair before getting on Carlito’s lap—letting your thighs rest over the arms of the seat.

Carlito embraces you tightly as the two of you hug one another and you lose the battle between your tears, bursting out into sobs over Carlito’s shoulder instantly. “I missed you so fucking much, you have no idea.”

“Oh, baby…” Carlito murmurs, rubbing up and down your back tenderly. “Believe me, I know. Locked up for five damn years without you.” Carlito pulls you back gently, cupping your cheeks with both hands before planting gentle kisses on both cheeks and then kissing your lips.

Your eyes flutter shut in response as you kiss Carlito back deeply, both of you tasting whiskey off of each other’s lips.

“Will you come home with me?” You ask softly once you pull away from the kiss.

“Yes, of course, baby.” Carlito nods. “You know I’m not spending another moment here I don’t need to without you. I came here for you, you know.”

“Mmm…” You peek down to watch as Carlito rubs your palms up and down with his; your eyes admiring his gold link bracelet and the ring over his pinky finger. “Still can’t believe it.”

“I’m here for you baby, I’m here,” Carlito reassures you, keeping his voice low and soft. “And I’ll prove it to you as much as you want me to.”

“Just…” You hiccup, your bottom lip trembling. “Can you just hold me, please? I haven’t held you for so long that n-none of this feels real. I j-just—” You shake your head, clutching onto Carlito’s shoulders. “I just can’t believe so please just—just hold me.”

“Yeah baby, yeah.” Carlito pulls you tightly in his embrace as you rest your head over his shoulder, refusing to let go. “You know, I could hardly believe it myself when I got the hell out of there. You were all I thought about every single day.” Carlito rubs you back in lazy circles, kissing the side of your neck gently. “I dreamt and fantasized about this day for years.”

“God, Carlito…” You whimper, feeling the warmth and safety of your fiancée down to the heavenly scent of his cologne that all remind you you’re not dreaming but that Carlito is here with you.

“We have a lot to talk about, baby.” Carlito strokes your hair gently. “I wanna talk to you and nobody but you. I wanna hear more about you than me.”

“Come home with me.” You slowly pull back, pulling on Carlito’s hand.

“I don’t wanna be here anymore, just come home with me.”

“Alright, baby.” Carlito agrees. “Let’s go then.” He pushes a curtain of your hair behind your ear. “Come out the back exit with me, I don’t want anyone else bothering us for the rest of the evening. We’ll just go home—”

“And stay home.” You insist.

‘Not just for you to spend the night with me only to disappear in the morning.’

“I’m yours anyways, Evelyn,” Carlito tells you. “I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.”

~

Despite being able to leave from the back entrance of the club unseen and without any unwarranted attention, everything still feels dream-like and a blur to you.

Pachanga drives you and Carlito home and the car ride is filled with nothing but silence—Carlito holding your hand and you continuing to take in his presence next to you.

Your mind continues to buzz with questions and although you love Carlito without a doubt, there are still so many questions unanswered and unresolved that it makes you all the more anxious and uneasy not knowing what just happened to your fiancée.

Throughout the car ride, you know your mind isn’t going to figure out what it wants until you get back to your apartment at least.

When you step out of the car, your legs feel like concrete as you unlock the apartment lobby door and lead Carlito up to your suite.

Carlito can still tell you’re visibly upset just by watching your body language, but he neither stops you nor says anything.

Both of you know the two you need to be home with all the privacy you can have to be transparent and honest with each other further, but it’s different.

From the very moment you both get into your apartment, it’s not a matter of sighing and getting drinks to sit down and have a few hours long of serious conversation but as soon as you both step in, take off your shoes and you set your purse aside, you both turn around to face each other by the door.

“Carlito,” you let out a shaky breath, placing your hand over his chest.

Dying to touch you, talk to you, be with you again, and hating himself for everything else aside, Carlito’s drawn to you like a magnet.

You both find yourselves in each other’s embrace once again, kissing feverishly as if it’ll be the last time you do so.

Your lips ache and throb to feel Carlito’s over them again and again—desperate and still in love.

“Carlito,” you manage to whimper throughout the kiss as Carlito picks you up effortlessly, wrapping your thighs around his waist and giving your ass a squeeze before taking you to your bedroom.

Carlito doesn’t take his eyes, lips, or hands off of you as he does so and you’re just as insistent as him by the way you squeeze your thighs around Carlito’s waist.

Carlito lays you down on your bed without moving off of you, tugging off your sequin dress as you continue to lose yourself in the haze of the kiss you both share.

Before you know it, clothes are quickly being thrown off and there’s a sense of lustful aggressiveness in the bedroom until Carlito’s fully naked and throwing off your dress and panties to the side like nothing.

“Carlito…” You gasp, snapping back to reality as your breasts jiggle and spring free, leaving you and Carlito naked and completely vulnerable with each other.

You both look into each other’s eyes, breathing heavily as Carlito places both of his hands over your hips. “You don’t know anything…” Carlito begins to run his hands up and down the sides of your body. “How I feel for you, how everything I do has always been for you.”

You run your hands through Carlito’s dark, silky hair before cupping his cheeks. “You have a lot to make up to me, you know that…?” You breathe hotly over Carlito’s lips.

“Yeah?” Carlito whispers, growing further aroused by the passing second.

“You can start now.” You pull Carlito in closer to him, pressing your lips against his in a wet, full-mouthed kiss.

Your body yearns and begs for every bit of Carlito’s touch, obsessed with the way his hands work to arouse, tease and please you.

Through half-open, lazy eyes distracted by arousal and the scent of sex filling the room, you see Carlito pumping his cock to prepare himself to make up for missing your intimacy these past five years—only scratching the surface tonight.

Panting and quivering through arousal as both of your bodies collide with one another, you tug and pull on Carlito’s hair—letting your hands roam down his shoulders and muscular back.

“You’re mine…” Carlito smacks both of your thighs, firmly squeezing them before his hands find your ass.

“Mm! Yes!” You breathe out, feeling that spark of arousal and passionate fire light inside of you just at the sight of Carlito kissing up and down your body, adoring every inch of your skin.

“Fuck,” Carlito hisses out, the sexual tension only continues to rage between the two of you as his lips close in for another kiss over yours.

Your pussy throbs in response to the shaft of his cock slicking up against it and your arousal only doubles throughout the teasing foreplay.

Keeping eye contact, Carlito slowly slips to fingers inside your mouth and watches as you eagerly suck and wet them.

‘Oh my God, please.’ You watch as Carlito pops his fingers out of your mouth before moving his hand down and rubbing them gingerly over your clit before swirling them around your entrance.

You surprise yourself by moaning as loud as you have, gyrating your hips forward to Carlito as he applies just enough pressure to make you squirm.

Carlito licks off his fingers eagerly before beginning to press his thumbs down on the creases of your inner thigh, spreading your pussy open slowly before he presses his fingers against your entrance once more.

“More, m-more, more,” you moan breathily as you feel Carlito slowly snake a finger inside of you, curling it inward. “Oh God, yes…”

As Carlito begins to finger you, he hovers over your body and grazes his tongue against your bottom lip, feeling you writher in pleasure underneath him.

Carlito uses his thumb to lazily circle over your dewy clit while continuing to finger you, keeping his free hand tangled in your hair to exert dominance over you.

Whimpering back in Carlito’s mouth, you feel him gently bite at your bottom lip and slowly pull it towards him before he re-enters your mouth with his tongue, kissing you again.

But before you can even get enough of the heated kiss, Carlito’s quick to pull away and keep you waiting.

Stunned and confused, you watch as Carlito pulls his fingers out of you and cups your ass to raise your thighs up only to bury his face immediately onto your pussy, slobbering all over it.

“Ohhhh my God!” You shriek, clutching the bedsheets so tightly that your knuckles strain white.

You can feel all of Carlito’s tongue pressed up against the folds of your pussy, licking and slurping upwards to your clit.

“Carlito! YES, YES!” Moaning louder and louder, you feel an orgasm beginning to grow in your gut as your body aches and begs for more.

Shaky little moans come out of your mouth as your muscles tense up and relax again and again from the sensation of pleasure flowing through you.

Carlito’s spit easily mixes in and gets lost within your pussy’s wetness and he doesn’t relent as he slides his tongue all over your clit, focusing solely on it.

Carlito laps up your sweetness, causing you to curl your toes from how his beard brushes up against your clit and stimulates it further.

From the sloppy, messy way Carlito eats your pussy and from how dangerously aroused you’ve become, all of Carlito’s spit and your pussy juices begin to trickle down your ass and inner thighs.

Your pussy contracts from the pleasure and you almost hate yourself for how badly you crave Carlito now, feeling his lips suckling sweetly over your clit.

“Oh, baby.” Carlito pants as he raises his head up from between your legs, breathing heavily. “You’re ready for me.”

Carlito’s husky, sexy voice coupled with the way his hair has tousled already paints the perfect picture of erotica to you.

Keeping his eyes on yours, Carlito takes your right thigh and moves your body to the side as he curls up behind you—both of you laying on your sides.

“P-please, please, please, fuck me—” You clasp a hand over your mouth, rolling your eyes back in pleasure as Carlito continues to keep your thigh raised upward, pushing the tip of his cock inside of you to fuck you from the side.

“Oh baby, you feel so fucking good, you know that? Shit…” The curve of Carlito’s cock hits every weak spot inside of you from the first thrust alone and Carlito can already feel your pussy contracting against his cock, begging to be fucked.

Thrusting in an upwards angle, Carlito presses his naked body against yours and lets his hands wander over your breasts while he continuously presses wet kisses down your shoulders. “So fucking tight…”

From the way Carlito rocks your body back and forth, beginning to thrust deeply until you feel every inch of him entering you again and again to the way his thumbs toy with your hardened nipples, you almost feel intoxicated with arousal and pleasure.

You lazily glance over your shoulder at Carlito who returns the gaze, breathing against your skin and letting out a deep groan. “D-don’t you dare stop…” You squeeze your eyes shut, whimpering and letting yourself moan as loud as need be from the way Carlito fucks you.

“Not until you’re screaming my name, baby.” Carlito can practically feel his cock pulsating inside of you. Keeping his thrusts steady and deep, giving your breasts a smack before trailing his fingers back down to your clit.

Both sensations of pleasure draw the filthiest moans out of you yet and you can barely keep still on the bed from the way your thighs begin to shake from your orgasm dangerously approaching.

Carlito has complete control over your orgasm but is eager to have you cum before himself, watching the way your body reacts against his.

“Yeah, baby, just like that…” Carlito watches his cock easily sliding in and out of you at a quickened pace, causing your ass to redden from how fast and hard Carlito’s hips come into contact with yours.

“Yes, yes, yesssss!” You push your hips back against Carlito’s, only feeling his thrusts grow all the more forceful. “F-fuck me, Carlito! Fuck—fuck me! HARDER!”

Carlito’s kisses over your back harshen just as his thrusts do, filling the room with the sloppy sounds of your pussy sloshing against Carlito’s cock with every thrust.

“You gonna cum for me baby? Hmm?” Carlito squeezes your raised thigh, noticing how you can barely come out with a coherent sentence now from the way Carlito begins to approach thrusting to your G-spot, hitting it when you least expect it.

“Y-yes! I’m—ohhhh! Yes, I’m cumming! Cumming, I’m cumming!” You shriek out, unable to hold your orgasm back as it finally releases out of you.

Creaming over Carlito’s cock from orgasm, the euphoric sensation washes over you like waves in a current from head to toe while Carlito only continues to keep up his ruthless pace of thrusting as you cum.

Carlito slams his hips upward into yours once more, holding you tightly against his chest to see your eyes snap open in surprise from feeling spurts of hot, sticky cum shooting up inside of you.

“O-oh my God,” you pant, unable to stop your thighs from quivering. “Carlito…”

“God…” Carlito pants against your shoulder, holding your thighs steadily before slowly beginning to pull his cock out of you.

“Ooh!” You let out a soft gasp as the feeling of fullness leaves you and Carlito’s cum begins to slowly ooze out of your pussy.

Carlito circles his thumb against your pussy’s entrance, smearing and pushing his cum into you. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve missed fucking you like this…”

“Mmmmm, C-Carlito,” you barely have the energy to flip over and face him—nothing but a flustered and freshly fucked mess in Carlito’s grasp.

Slowly turning to face Carlito, you swallow hard—still recovering from the aftermath and hypersensitivity over your body.

Carlito chuckles, stealing a kiss from your lips and giving your cheek a gentle caress as both of you still feel the tingling sensation of your recent orgasms.

Still, after five years of sleeping alone to the thought of Carlito in tears, you don’t intend on letting your first night with him after all that time end so soon.

You match Carlito’s passion, taking him by pleasant surprise as you kiss around the outline of his jawline—simply unable to get enough of your fiancé.

“Baby…” Carlito nudges the blankets on your bed away from him to get closer to you before you move down his body, gripping his still erect cock in your hand. “Fuck,” Carlito grunts, bucking his hips up in response and leaning up on the bed upon his elbows.

You lay down on your stomach, popping Carlito’s cock in your mouth and licking upwards quickly before saying, “I missed you too, you know.”

“Not as much as I thought.” Carlito chuckles breathily, moving your hair out of your face as you begin to graze your tongue alongside the tip of his cock.

“Mm? What do you mean?” You wrap your tongue around Carlito’s tip.

“You asked me how I knew you’d be at the club tonight.” Carlito’s breath hitches.

“Mhmm…” Your mouth remains in perfect rhythm against his cock, drooling all over it as you let your tongue do the work. “Is there anything you can’t do? I know how you know…”

“Oh, yeah,” Carlito hisses, watching you suck him off. “I figured. You’re a smart woman.”

“So you know anything and everything, huh?” You smirk up at Carlito before swirling your tongue around his shaft and tasting yourself off of his cock. “I’m impressed… I didn’t figure out a thing until you told me you knew I’d be at the club tonight.”

“I didn’t want you to be bothered, baby.” Carlito groans quietly, “you know I didn’t pay someone to ‘stalk’ you—just wanted you to be safe and happy.”

“You have your reasons, huh?” Your lick Carlito’s precum off of your lips. “Tonight if anything, has always been about your reasons.”

“I want to know your reasons, baby.” Carlito watches you bob your head up and down on his cock. ”That guy, for one. Mm…”

“Mm?” You stare up at Carlito, continuing to suck him off.

“You know I don’t like sharing what’s mine, Evelyn.” Carlito grips your hair, guiding your mouth down on his cock further. “Never have, never will…but I know about that date.”

You roll your eyes, popping Carlito’s cock out of your mouth. “Oh please, you know it was nothing.”

“Nothing?” Carlito’s eyes dart over yours. “Date with a new guy doesn’t sound like nothing to me.”

“And whose cock is in my mouth right now? Don’t tell me you’re jealous.” Turned on by his jealousy, you take Carlito’s cock back into your mouth like candy.

“And if I am?” Carlito groans softly.

“There’s only you for me.” You hum against Carlito’s cock. “I didn’t take my ring off at that date either but mmm… I bet your little spy didn’t tell you that much.”

“My spy,” Carlito repeats, chuckling quietly. “You know I believe you.”

You slurp up your spit off Carlito’s cock, swallowing before leaning back up to him. “I believe you too.”

“I still have much to make up to you, baby.” Carlito moves over, tilting your chin up to face him. “Open your mouth, baby.”

You do as he says eagerly, waiting.

Carlito spits in your mouth, taking you by surprise as you whimper—turned on and aroused instantly by his actions all over again as you swallow down his spit.

“’Atta girl,” Carlito smirks at you. “Say ‘thank you, sir’.”

“Thank you, sir.” You breathe back, seeing that the old Carlito you love, know, and fucked is most definitely back.

[little-peril-stories]

Seven Silly Questions

I mean, I don't think they're that silly! They're cute. Thanks @starlit-hopes-and-dreams for the tag (post here) and @i-can-even-burn-salad for crafting them (post here).

Gently tagging: @keeper-of-all-the-random-things / @gala1981

First messaging app: MSN, baby! And if you think TPOT's song lyric chapter titles aren't directly a result of my MSN days, you're mistaken. Many a Fall Out Boy song lyric ended up in my name, changing at least once a week, with music note emojis and inappropriate punctuation marks...see below for an example. 😂

🎶 .k.a.t.e. ~ am I more than you bargained for yet? ~ 🎶

bonus points if you had the actual letters replaced with symbols that sort of looked like those letters? 🙄

seriously, kids these days will never know 😅

Pickles yes or no: Yes, no question.

Favorite mythical creature: Fairies, I guess? Tinker Bell sized ones. With sparkly gossamer wings and who might live in the hollow of a tree, or between two stones near a babbling brook. Or who ride around on bumblebees like Prince Cornelius.

Longest book series you've read: In full? Probably 7 books. You know the one. But I read a lot of Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Babysitter's Club, and Sweet Valley books when I was a kid, and those series are HUGE, though I definitely haven't read every single one.

Playstation, xbox, or nintendo controller layout: I don't know. I once owned a PS2, many years ago. So, uh, that.

Best time to get out of bed: With enough time to get out of bed and enjoy a coffee before you have to leave/actually do things. Early wake-ups are good for quiet morning time! But if I had to seriously pick one time, I'd say...7:30. 8 if you're real sleepy.

Did you ever have a tamagotchi: I...am not sure. If I did, I forgot, so I guess it didn't leave much of an impression. (sorry Tamagotchi fans! I do remember the craze, so I was definitely around for it.)

Template under the cut

First messaging app:

Pickles yes or no:

Favorite mythical creature:

Longest book series you've read:

Playstation, xbox, or nintendo controller layout:

Best time to get out of bed:

Did you ever have a tamagotchi:

[esther-dot]

What do you think of the Dunk and Egg series on HBO? Would it be worth to watch?

I refused to watch HotD because I can’t stand those targies and their lizards 🐉

I’m not a good person to ask about this! I haven’t read the supplemental books, and I swore off the spin-offs after the GoT finale. But the pilot for the Dunk & Egg show was written by a HOTD writer, so I suppose, for some fans, that’s reassuring? And the nature of the stories, if HBO is willing, could allow for a new tone in their GoT-verse?

Personally, I was a little dismayed by the news. I know this is exciting for Martin, HOTD and Dunk & Egg are the shows he wanted, and a lot of people have decided he already gave up on finishing ASOIAF, so getting shows is all they can hope for, but the shows are such a contradiction to the values Martin had written into his works…it isn’t a substitute to me. We all knew we weren’t getting ADOS, but I truly thought we’d be getting TWOW soon, except, considering how many shows he’s consulting on now, I’m beginning to worry:

Way back in the summer of 2016, when HBO first started thinking about GAME OF THRONES spinoffs, I pitched them two ideas: the Dance of the Dragons, which in due time became HOUSE OF THE DRAGON… and Dunk & Egg. That was seven years ago. (I can hardly believe it myself). The lesson there is that development takes time. I see all these stories on the net about other spinoffs being killed or abandoned… no idea where they get this stuff… and it just makes me shake my head. The Nymeria show is still in development. So is the Sea Snake show. Just had a great week on that one, working with writers. And there are others, both live action and animated

Again, this is what he wanted, so I’m happy for him, but I want Sansa. I want to read about her going home. Even if I never get to know-know, her ending, I want to read about her in the North again. But he has all of those shows + HOTD, the Snow show, and now D&E. 😳

He also said this about his writing schedule:

If THE HEDGE KNIGHT turns out as well as we hope it will, our hope would be to go on and adapt THE SWORN SWORD and THE MYSTERY KNIGHT as well. That will take a few years. Then comes the hard part. Before we reach the end of the published stories, I will need to find time to write all the other Dunk & Egg novellas that I have planned. There are… gulp… more of them than I had once thought. There’s “The Village Hero” and the Winterfell story, the one with the She-Wolves, and maybe I need to write that Dornish adventure too to slip in between “The Hedge Knight” and “The Sworn Sword,” and after that there are… ah… more. I just need to finish THE WINDS OF WINTER, and then do either A DREAM OF SPRING or volume two of FIRE & BLOOD, and slip in a new Dunk & Egg between each of those in my copious spare time… and that will keep me ahead of Ira and his merry crew… for a few more years. (link)

It’s very strange to me that he willingly delays the main event for sideshows, knowing it will mean he may never get to it. Also, that last part is very reminiscent of how he talked about staying ahead of D&D. 😅

[thirtysixsavefiles]

Tagged by @ginjones (approximately a million years ago oops)!Thank you for the tag!! I love a meme

🎶✨when you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, publish, then send this ask/tag 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨

Saw someone else do this with fic-related songs, so I'm going to do that too — here are five songs that inspire (mostly as-yet-unwritten) fic feelings for me

A Good Song Never Dies — Saint Motel

If I ever manage to get the right angle on Dream/Lucifer, this is the vibe

Overcome — Nothing But Thieves

This list is going to be vibe heavy — something about the chords here speak to me about the conclusion of Wild Magic

Out Of The Woods - Taylor Swift

This is the thesis statement for Romanceland, which I still have a huge soft spot for, but it turns out this concept brings to the forefront one of my writing weaknesses, which is scenes with more than two people in them 😅

Seven Devils — Florence + The Machine

This one is Dream's vibe at the beginning of The Sun and the Moon. I do want to come back to this eventually but I keep piling up other projects oops

Shut Off The Lights — Bastille

And finally, this song was instrumental in getting just find the feeling, pass it on written, and is the thesis for Dream and Hob's relationship in that fic

At this point I don't know who's been tagged or not! 😅 So I'm tagging @scootsaboot, @ssealdog, @lelelego, @nothingbutchaff, @fleurdeliser, @frequentlybees, @mobydickering, @freilie, @rhysiana, @flyingwide

[guardian-angle22]

Oversharing on the Internet [okay so I had this saved in my drafts from over a week ago and completely forgot about it until @ambiguouspenny tagged me recently. I don't remember who originally tagged me when I first put this in the drafts, but I think it was @welcometololaland ? I think? 😅]

ONE: Are you named after anyone?

First name, no. Middle name is the same as an aunt's middle name.

TWO: When was the last time you cried?

Probably three weeks ago at my best friend's wedding: they had lavender blackberry cupcakes and they were so good I almost started to re-think my stance on marriage just so I could marry whoever baked them. A few tears came to my eyes at how perfect they tasted.

THREE: Do you have kids?

Never.

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

More-so just any type of humor to deflect and avoid things I don't want to talk about. See: my answer about crying.

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play?

I played a year of basketball in junior high and then two years of "cheerleading" in high school (I put it in quotes because I went to a fundamentalist christian school where the cheerleaders were not allowed to move our hips or do flips/tumbling because those aren't modest. so they basically removed all the sport out of it).

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people?

I don't know how to describe it other than their ~vibe? but working in customer service for as long as I have, I just notice people's moods or demeanor more than any other part of them first. Probably as a defense mechanism so I can prepare myself for angry people.

SEVEN: What's your eye color?

Blue/Grey

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, but... not sappy, completely unrealistic ones.

NINE: Any special talents?

um- no I can't think of a single actual thing.

TEN: Where were you born?

From what I recall being told, it was in some birthing facility place that was close to a hospital in case something went wrong. Unclear if anything went wrong tbh.

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies?

Reading, hiking, attempting to do random crafts/home decor or repair projects, and whatever it is I do on the internet I guess.

TWELVE: Do you have any pets?

One cat. She's adorable but also a creature of hell.

THIRTEEN: How tall are you?

5'2" if I'm not slouching like I usually do throughout the day.

FOURTEEN: Favorite subject in school?

Math. also sign language. I wish I had stuck with learning more of both of them.

FIFTEEN: Dream job

I don't dream of jobs but I get the question so... Unrealistic dream would be film editing, home design, or getting paid to read books. A more realistic dream (but requires schooling which I absolutely despise) would be a work from home job in IT/Tech within the company I currently work for. Honestly, anything within my current company but not customer facing would be absolutely fabulous. My company is very inclusive and actively encourages us to use work time to volunteer within our community and the benefits/pay is decent, but I'm just fucking tired of people, man. I'm over it. Customer service is rough.

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @andromedaexists! It's cool your names have connections to family and saints, and that you've tried so many things/sports. Your cats sound adorable (though this goes without saying for cats perhaps).

As for myself:

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes! My mom wanted to give me a "hippie" name like Freedom or Windsong or something, but my dad would have none of it. In one of their rare instances of compromise, they settled on naming me after a folk/pop singer who was big in the 70s. If I decide to change it at some point, I'll probably choose something very similar in spelling/sound.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like two days ago while thinking about a scene where a character experiences Gender Thoughts (positive). And the day before that while listening to talks on medieval history about humans being humans. Then last weekend, while watching Puss In Boots with my partner. Look, it's not outright sobbing and tears, but I do mist up a lot, okay? For someone who had to numb their emotions to survive much of their childhood and teen years, I appreciate this actually. That despite whatever pain I've experienced it couldn't stop me from recognizing and overflowing at the pleasure and beauty all around me.

3. Do you have kids? No, and no plans to. I'm content with my affection for the children of others in my life.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I think so? I definitely used to, though I think I've cut back on it significantly.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? The way they speak and how they communicate in general. Accents, idioms, whether they're confident (and if that confidence is bravado or well-founded), is their choice of words vibe-based or definition-based, etc. I'll recognize someone's voice before their face tbh. 😅

6. What’s your eye color? Brown. I get compliments on them.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Both? Depends on my mood. I always love a "hard-earned happy ending", though. Those Situations really did a number on my blorbos, but they kept on keeping on. That sort of thing.

8. Any special talents? Defying expectations, I guess? I often apply for jobs/sign up for experiences where the people in charge just go, Um, are you sure you're supposed to be here? And I'm like, Sure, why not, let's go. Then I do pretty well at whatever it is and they're impressed, mostly because they thought I couldn't/wouldn't stick around. People also seem to generally like my baking.

9. Where were you born? Northern California, USA.

10. What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, little art projects, video games, gardening, baking, thinking too much, harassing various invertebrates, sea creatures, and neighborhood animals with my affection/fascination

11. Have you any pets? A cat named Mimi! She was a stray I agreed to adopt from a friend on Discord while drunk. This remains my best decision made while under the influence.

12. What sports do you play/have played? I did martial arts for the last seven years, including fighting in like 4 tournaments. I put it aside since college takes a lot of my energy now. Also, training is expensive, and the culture around it sucks pretty often. I'd like to get back into it one day, just with people who value it for reasons similar to mine.

13. How tall are you? 5' 8". I'm too American to be measured in cm (joke joke this is a joke the metric system and I are buds).

14. Favorite subject in school? Before college, lit/reading. As an adult, I really enjoy history and anthropology related stuff too.

15. Dream job? Making a living off my silly little gay vampire stories. But I'd settle for translating fiction between Spanish and English.

Copy/Paste for mobile users: 1. Are you named after anyone? 2. When was the last time you cried? 3. Do you have kids? 4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? 6. What’s your eye color? 7. Scary movies or happy endings? 8. Any special talents? 9. Where were you born? 10. What are your hobbies? 11. Have you any pets? 12. What sports do you play/have played? 12. What sports do you play/have played? 13. How tall are you? 14. Favorite subject in school? 15. Dream job?

No pressure tags (and no pressure to answer any questions you don't want to ofc) @vacantgodling @korblez @space-cadead @afoolandathief @cljordan-imperium @late-to-the-fandom @thecyrulik @blind-the-winds @muddshadow @theskeletonprior @rosieartsie @letsmakeitwrite @k--havok @likegemstone @thatndginger

[jessy-the-martian-girl]

Share 5-10 facts about the OC most on your mind right now

Thank you, Kass 🥰 You're amazing 🤗

As for OC facts - right now my other Jessy occupies my mind, the one that came seven years ago for my first AU fic after about ten years of not writing.

So, here's something about Jessy Jones, RE4 Original Game:

She has some kind of precognition, nothing too mystic, basically just a gut feeling that goes "this is gonna be SO wrong, do something NOW", and if she succeeds in turning the course of events, next night she gets a pretty vivid and detailed dream of "how it could have gone without interference" (she refused to let Luis go after the plaga-pills alone, and the night when they finally got out, they've got a shared nightmare of canonical "Saddler impales Luis" scene).

Her first meeting with Luis was in Madrid, seven years prior to game events, when he was a cop on night patrol (only a few weeks in and he was already considering leaving the force for science career) - Jess was down after a break up with her bf (it was supposed to be a romantic vacation, yet all has gone awry and he ended up with another girl).

First time they've met Luis saved her from being a victim to hit-and-run accident, yet she was a bit hurt (nothing broken, just some bruises, sore skin and one of her shoes was destroyed) and he helped her to get back to the hotel.

She is a bit careless at times and can act childish&reckless (usually when it comes to the questions of her own health and safety), but still capable enough for solo trips and hikes.

She is afraid of heights, rejection and becoming mindless puppet, but can act brave for the sake of those whom she feels an urge to protect. (she was scared senseless of Krauser, yet she stood in front of Ashley, not letting him take that girl as a bargain chip for obtaining Master Plaga sample, and she was almost ready to sacrifice her own life to prevent the exchange, but failed)

Her family disowned Jess when she refused to follow the path they wanted for her and she doesn't like to talk about that.

She has a great willpower and can be pretty stubborn: when they got out of Salazar's Castle for the second time while Luis stayed behind when the castle went up in explosion, she refused to go to evac point without the man she loves or, at the very least, without his body, so Leon literally had to knock her out and carry her away (Luis actually asked him to do so in advance, fearing that something in this mission can go wrong).

She's "not ready for children" type too, but when they had an "oops, it broke" accident with Luis, she realized that she not just "doesn't mind" having children from&with him, but is really looking forward to it.

So, after a year of initial game events Jess and Luis are happily married, and have a daughter, Melinda (daughter came first, then they tied the knot).

She's also pretty secretive about herself (unintentionally), so the only other person who knows enough about her past is her Luis as she trusts him and lets down her guard around him (I guess, as of now he knows even more about her than I do 😅)

[la-galaxie-langblr]

that game sounds so fun oml where was that when i was in high school!?

absolutely, i think we all have a different definition of the absolute meaning of life but yeah i totally agree, being a good person day-to-day and putting out good vibes and karma into the universe is why we’re here for such a long time, it’s a long process with the smallest details and the biggest impacts.

what books do i like reading? recently i read seven husbands of evelyn hugo and i just bawled my way through it, it was divine. i’ve also been discovering some classics or “must be read at some point in a lifetime books that have made their way onto my tbr. daisy jones and the six was also a great read.

my current read is lucky by a woman who’s name i can’t remember 😅 it’s about a criminal on the run who wins the lottery but can’t cash her ticket in bc she will be jailed for all of her crimes. i’m only 8 chapters in at the moment but it’s pretty good so far.

seven titles on my tbr that i’m looking forward to read are the grapes of wrath, if beale street could talk, sharp objects, american psycho, mrs bridge, midnight library, and i’m glad my mom died which i know will break me when i get around to it haha.

do i have a wip? absolutely, for the past year or so i’ve been trying to write a book i’ve currently titled “ourselves” and it’s about five female friends who live in melbourne, australia who try to save a beloved family diner from breaking point and shutting down. i have a few other ideas for when i hopefully get ourselves written and on the bestseller list 😅 gonna be hard to do that seeing as i’ve only written one chapter of the book so far, but we take things slowly bc it’s a journey, it doesn’t need to be rushed. all the best things take time, right? rome wasn’t built in a day.

i’ll leave you with three questions tonight;

are there any quotes that you try to live your life by?

three things you would ask for if a witch showed up while you were on a desert island?

where would you like to be in life in 10 years?

stay cool, bud! - k :)

(once again, long answer)

You have good taste in books, I love Evelyn Hugo :D

Also I'm obsessed with your WIP, I love family diners, I will buy a copy the second it exists!! And exactly, no need to rush, everything happens in its own time.

1. Quotes I try to live my life by? Oooooooh that's a tricky one, I had to go back to the Pinterest board I made when I was 14 to jog my memory 😅

> "If you're ever worried about not being a good person, remember that bad people don't care about improving" and that helps me be a little kinder to myself when I'm reflecting on my flaws and stuff like that,

> a quote from a Great British Bake Off series several years ago, "Always do your best, and everyone's best is different. You can't always be the best, but you can always do your best."

2. To be saved within the next 24 hours, adequate shelter and something to pass the time with :D

3. I can't even imagine life in 7 months from now where I'll be starting university 😅 but I guess I'd like to have a job I enjoy, enough disposable income, time and energy on the weekends to engage in my hobbies and do fun things and be in a steady long-term relationship, if not already engaged or married, some lofty dreams there but above all I hope I'm happy and less busy :)

Thank you once again for the asks, do you have any short/medium/long term goals that you're working towards? (idk I'll just say that short = within a year's time, medium = 2-5 years' tine and long = 5+ years' time)

Have a nice evening!!

[jack-is-lost]

🌙

From this Ask Game 🌙Do you have a dream you have never forgotten?

I have three, actually. One of which occurred during my childhood, under the age of 10, the second in my mid-teens, and the third one roughly about thirteen years or so ago when I was officially living on my own. I'll briefly go over them😅

Mind you, these are basically nightmares so some content in these might be unsettling to others — please stop reading if you start to feel uncomfortable. Look after yourself😣

I'll put this under a "keep reading" line.

1)I grew up watching a lot of talking animal films like All Dogs Go To Heaven, Homeward Bound, Balto, Lady & The Tramp, The Lion King, Oliver and Company, Fluke, etc. And we also had a lot of animals as pets; three dogs and four cats. So I'm not too surprised that my dreams sort of revolved around such aspects, ya'know? Keep in mind that I'm about seven or eight. In this particular dream, I am a stray dog running around with other stray animal friends. Just havin' a blast, being carefree, and very much communicating like a Disney or Don Bluth movie when suddenly a man starts yelling at us. We were on his property and he didn't like that one bit.

I started panicking due to his body language, flailing arms and overly shadowed features, but I had friends to protect so I stood my ground. Then he, very Fox and the Hound style, grabbed a big gun and aimed it at me. I heard the BANG and felt the ground shift beneath me before realizing it was me that had moved — I hit the ground hard. I had been shot. The pain was absolutely frightening. I woke up the moment my mind registered this, of course, and sat up in bed rubbing my chest. I could still feel the pain and I believe that is why this dream has stayed with me all these years.

2) This one is a bit silly, honestly, but still dark in some aspects. I think I was about thirteen or maybe on the cusp of fifteen — hard to remember. In this dream, I was in a car full of friends and we were driving somewhere to camp when suddenly the car jerked off the road — tumbling along the hillside and slamming into a tree. I stumble out of the car dazed, head bleeding, and turn to find everyone is missing. I'm all alone. I start walking along the pavement, calling out their names as I search for them. That's when an old lady walking a small dog in a field catches my attention. Something is off about her. She doesn't look right — her clothes are messy, her body is distorted in a very uncomfortable way, and she is standing motionless. So very, very still while directly looking at me. Without a word from her, the leash is dropped and the dog starts barreling at me at top speed — snarling and yapping. I made a run for it, darting into the adjacent treeline, and trying to outrun the little beast. Seriously, with each glance back the dog looked more monstrous, undead — as if it were transforming with each stride. Imagine Resident Evil Doberman dogs but it is pomeranian size.

I manage to avoid it as I stumble into what appears to be a circus tent. Believe me, dream me is just as confused. However, what I thought might be a safe haven ended up being a cluster of zombies. Imagine every performer and audience member at an event just stumbling around in a daze before shuffling to a stop, turning to face you, and staring. That unease from before, with the old lady, hitting you 10x harder before the whole crowd starts running at you. I try to escape but... ultimately... I'm outnumbered and, eventually, I'm swarmed. I wake up with the lingering sensation of being smothered, crushed, and out of breath.

3) Last one! I'm about seventeen when I had this dream. I recently moved into a new, yet very small, place with very little to my name. I am quite literally sleeping on the floor in the living room, just to give you an idea. In this dream, I'm in a huge unending house. No matter how many doors I open, what hallways I run down, or flights of stairs I fly down I cannot find a way out. All the while, I am being chased by someone.

His voice is taunting me from behind, laughter echoing along the walls, and sometimes he just appears ahead of me no matter which way I turn. In his hand is a huge, Michael Myers huge, knife. He is going on-and-on-and-on about how much he loves me, needs me, and that I am only his. His face and voice are unrecognizable — I don't know WHO this man is or why he is so enamored with me. Eventually, after what literally feels like an eternity of running through a house-shaped maze, he tackles me to the ground — pinning me there. I start begging, crying, hyperventilating, and then I play along. Anything to appease. Anything to avoid being killed. This does make him falter. Tears start to fall from his face as he mutters how much he loves me, but that this is the only way to keep me — so that no one else can steal me. Then, like a brick slamming against my chest, the blade pierces me. I can feel, as unrealistic as we know a dream can be, every layer of tissue and muscle being torn through. I feel him break through bone and drive the knife straight into my heart. I wake up, again, with chest pain — rubbing my sternum to ease the sensation away.

Sorry, this was a bit of a read 😅 And it touched on, probably, dark psychological stuff. Hey, good for the spooky season I suppose???

[achoonihaachu]

Hi! Can I request a fic where F!Mc was brought into the exchange programme at the age of 11-13 the brothers loved her (platonic) and cared deeply about her but then the exchange programme comes to an end and F!Mc goes back to the human world but then around 5/6 years later the brothers go to the human world and they see F!Mc but this time she was around 17 and they all got quiet emotional and they were all proud of how much she had grown?

You doing have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable! 😅

See U Later

a/n: it's been a while >_< school has literally been so rough and i'm pretty sure my soul's 45% up the stairs of heaven by now. anyways! i've had this request sitting in my messages for a little while and i've found it to be such an interesting storyline so i couldn't help myself soooo i decided to make it into a series! :>> it'll be a lot shorter than my god must hate me series but i hope you still enjoy :D i missed writing so this was nice ilya <33 (ALSO PLEASE SHOW LUKE'S VA ALL THE LOVE WHEN THE SONG AND THE AUDIO DRAMA DROP!!) (i wasn't able to do this for dia and barb so im starting now >:(()

warnings: none as of this part!, oh and not proof read (again)

pairings: ALL THE SHIPS IN THIS FIC ARE PLATONIC! the boys are all brotherly (even fatherly at some points lmao)

“Do you promise to visit?”

“We’ll never be too far, sweetheart.”

Figures out of focus dance around in your memories; Shadows– mere wisps of the essence of someone you used to hold dear in your heart. They plague every dream and soothe every nightmare but you could never make out a face.

Seven faces you used to caress in hopes of burning the very image of them into your mind. You’d memorize every curve and sharp angle on their faces, every curl in their hair, every crinkle by their eyes when they smiled. It’s a shame, really.

They were your hearth and home.

The locket around your neck was the only thing you had left of them, whoever they were. It felt like they were merely just a part of a grand fever dream you desperately tried revisiting every single night..

It started 6 years ago.

A tall building was lit up by corridor torches that each held an ethereal fire. The night sky seemed painted on; the stars gleamed silently, their light peering down on the people below curiously. You’d expect silence yet the buzz of demonic cicadas filled the otherwise dead quiet of the night. These stars were special, for they gleamed white one moment, then blood red the next. An enchanting sight, it looked like a scene you’d rip straight out of a fairytale. Every column lit the walls up, shadows of people that weren’t there painted in contrast to the old cobblestone, they told of the tales that have long occurred since. Rumors went that if you stayed in the gardens at the Devil’s Hour, you’d be lulled into a sense of peace so otherworldly, you’d be turned to stone by day break.

Of course, no one but the younglings believed such a tale. Why, in the land of the demonic, would you believe something so silly?

The otherwise peaceful building shook as hushed figures held their late meeting in one of the many, many offices.

It was an awkward meeting; the crowned demon Prince had plans. Great plans, honestly. He was to bring in a human to live in their realm for a year. To solidify relations between the three realms— it was quite ironic to see that the one regarded as the highest form of evil personified, was also the one to suggest something so… kind.

Diavolo was used to pushing the boundaries, though.

Now, you see, he was supposed to find an older exchange student but for some reason, paperwork got mixed up, his contacts were an absolute mess on Earth, scrambling around to collect as much information on eligible exchange students but nothing went his way and now, he was stuck in a three-hour argument with Lucifer about the fact that the originally 19-year-old exchange student had been replaced with a 12-year-old child.

In truth, the issue wasn’t difficult to remedy; He could’ve postponed the exchange program by a week or two, he could’ve found a new human to bring down to the Devildom… had he not found out that you were an orphan.

Your profile was bleak and contained but a single page that could be summarized in about 7 sentences. Your parents left you on the doorstep of a church, a note attached to your tiny bonnet that basically said that your young mother was not yet ready to take care of a child and your father was still in school. They left you in a small wicker basket and you’d been a child in the foster system since.

You were nothing short of a troublemaker. An angel in the light, sure, but your shadow had little devil horns. You never meant any harm, obviously, but you were deemed the “handful” and you were passed around on an almost monthly basis. House after house, family after family, their faces blurred and blended and they soon all just became familiar strangers when they got fed up.

You had nothing to your name, you lived for the day but there was something about you– perhaps it was the defiant light that shone in your eyes, perhaps it was the simple fact that Diavolo wanted to give you a taste of love–

He couldn’t stand in the sidelines when your file fell on his desk.

After bargaining with the devil himself, Diavolo and Lucifer finally came to an agreement. You had 1 year in the Devildom. No more, no less. The fallen Morningstar was sure that you’d be nothing but another mess he had to clean up after and he didn’t want to deal with you for longer than he had to.

If it isn’t obvious, he’s a man who loves to talk big and act like if not obeyed, the world would be obliterated with a single flick of his wrist. When you peel back the layers of faux intimidation though, he’s more like a clingy little house cat who adores his family.

That fateful night was like every other night; Your foster parents at the time hugged you and patted your back, albeit a tad forced and pretentiously, before they made you march off to your room by the back of the house. Your pajamas were worn out old things; you donned on a once nice pair of blue and white striped bottoms, what once was silky smooth had small tears and the stitching was stretched out due to years of usage. Your top was a ratty old baseball tee, there were stains of unidentifiable condiments at the bottom but you never complained.

You were just glad that they still fit after 4 years.

The night swallowed your tiny room whole, leaving no corner or spot lit up and for some strange reason, you couldn’t fall asleep. Your heart beat wildly against your ribcage as you felt the room grow smaller and smaller and smaller.

You screwed your eyes shut tight, your knuckles ghostly white as you fisted the thin blanket that covered your body.

“Little one… Breathe.”

Fear, anxiety, absolute dread filled you to the brim, your eyes watering with tears like salty sea brine and you held your breath. A beat passes, then two, then your body is lifted ever so casually. You couldn’t remember a time before then when you felt comfort so pure; In the arms of… someone… A blank slate of a face that was being drawn in with watercolor of the highest quality as each feature is touched by a magnificent light. He coddles you in your flimsy blanket as he walks through an arched doorway.

He looked so pretty.

Dual colored hair, an ombre of black to green and a calm smile that made you feel secure. You crack an eye open wider, your hands still balled up in defense as you look around secretly. Who was this man and where did he take you? A gloved hand holds you from under your knees while another hand gently holds you by the small of your back. You felt like a newborn— so delicately held.

His eyes were like sharp emeralds; they held a power beyond your own comprehension. They fluttered close every so often but upon closer inspection, he looked to have small dark circles under his pretty gem-like eyes. He was tired.

His eyes dart down to stare at your petite frame and before you could even react, you two make eye contact. It was too late to go back to pretending. He stops walking for a moment, standing in the middle of an open, well-lit corridor.

“I see that you’re finally awake, Miss.”

You slowly blink and look up at him— he was mighty pretty. A strong jaw, sharp features and cat-like eyes. Was he your guardian angel? This all is definitely just some sort of stupid dream, right?

“Who are you?” Your voice was hoarse, crying has never been your favorite activity. You coughed awkwardly into your blanket before you eyed him ,”Why did you bring me here?”

The strange man simply smiled and shook his head, “I’m afraid I’m not the one you must ask this question to. I am just here to take you to my Master.”

You nod and squirm a little against his chest. “I’d much rather meet him on my feet than in your arms.”

He shot you a serene smile before crouching down to let you place your feet on the speckless marble floor. Squinting, you glare at the bright light fixture before waddling off after the primly dressed man.

You found yourself winding through corridors and ancient looking hallways, it looked like that one school in the popular teen novel series that revolved around wizards and witches. You shiver as your feet beat against the flooring, you knew you should’ve worn socks to bed. Not to worry though, you’d wake up from your dream soon enough.

A door or two later, the stranger stops in front of a gorgeous double doorway, the wood had etchings in a language you had no understanding of and the handle seemed to have been made from pure gold. His fist raps against the door, the sound crisp yet gentle, before he reaches for the handle and twists it.

“If you ever need me, I’ll be around to aid you in your journey here.”

He pushes the door open and motions for you to walk in. The air in the room was different, previously humid like dewy petrichor now felt like soft, newly pressed linen on your nose. It was fresh and invigorating but the shift in the air wasn’t what had you stopping mid-step through the door.

Your small toes curl as the marble flooring is replaced with plush carpet. From where you stood, you got a good look of the space and to your left there was a platform, a small rise in the flooring more like, and on it were seven throne-like chairs lined up side by side. Banners hung from the roof with intricate paintings detailing different creatures and you couldn’t help but gawk. Too caught up in marveling, you fail to notice the small group stood a little ways beyond the chairs.

“Welcome to the Devildom!”

The voice was loud, bellowing yet in some ways held this charisma that had you tense up in anticipation. Your eyes dart towards the source of the noise and they grow wide at the sight of a man in all red, posed in a way a politician would stand for photo ops. Hands raised high, palms facing outwards with a bright, confident smile plastered on his face.

Stood behind the loud redhead were a group of 5 other males.

Introductions were exchanged, obviously, and that was when you realized that this was, in fact, not a dream. You were told that the man who brought you here was Barbatos, the Devil Prince’s butler. You timidly shook hands with Lord Diavolo, the aforementioned Prince of all Hell, and for a moment, you cowered in fear as Lucifer eyed you down.

Lucifer Morningstar, what an aura he held.

When you stare at him, you’re reminded of your current foster father. You purse your lips as you recall how he managed the house with an iron fist and how he’d always smell of coffee and your backyard garden. The man that stood before you was kind of scary but you couldn’t even focus on his intimidation.

You had just been taken from your foster home. By a bunch of strange… creatures.

A part of you felt that it would only be logical to start crying and screaming, demanding that they take you back home, but as they introduced themselves one by one, you couldn’t help but feel intrigued. Their names were a little heavy on the tongue, perhaps it was the fact that it sounded like you were reciting an incantation when you mentioned them, but your head spun when you were told that the 5 brothers were still incomplete.

The eldest of the Avatars told you that you were only to stay with them for a year for a program they had implemented.

You had a small scowl on your lips for a moment and Diavolo, being ever the keen one, noted how you’d nod and furrow your brows whenever Lucifer asked you to recite their names one by one to ensure that you could remember.

You’d glance at them slowly and say back what they told you. Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub. Five out of the seven. A miniscule part of you was already upset that you’d have to forget them one day… You were only there for their own little experiment.

You put your feelings aside and blinked up at the Prince,

“I like your coat.”