#that when i mean tradgey

[lord-westley]

Just dropping this here 👉👈

[volatilechemicalz]

elaborating on my bad end theater blakeworth au more because its driving me insane a little bit . spoilers for both bad end theater [kinda?? barely] and vtsom . also long [like seriously I was not expecting 2 write this much about it] ft. my writing of questionable quality

So victor n vincent's incidents happen on the same day here for plot convenience , I haven't really figured it out yet so . shrugs . anyway victor gets taken somewhere 2 get his prosthetics n vincent goes 2 the basement n gets turned into a cyborg like usual but the thing is vincent is gone for a whileee . Like half a year ish . n victor has no idea where the hell he is so after staying at the mansion n waiting 4 vincent 2 come back 4 a while he goes out to look for him because he doesn't believe [or doesn't want 2 believe] that vincent is dead [he's right not 2] . so he doesn't come back for a bit . in that time vincent comes back to the mansion n has a huge what the fuck moment because he has no idea how long he was gone since there wasn't a calendar or anything in the basement obviously so he was expecting victor 2 be there so now its his turn to freak out . but he doesn't wait at all n immediately leaves to try n find him since he assumed something happened . oh also neither of them know about eachother's incidents .

Anyway both of them r panicking n looking 4 eachother all the time with no luck @ all . vincent is still plotting his revenge against myers but he knows he needs some1 2 help him [cough cough victor] 2 fully carry out his plans . So that's kinda put on pause temporarily . anyway theater time :]

I haven't fully figured out why vincent makes the theater yet because it doesn't fully make sense but it's like . partly because its something 2 do so he doesn't fucking lose it [escapism] partly because he's a cyborg n needs human flesh 2 survive n this would lure people in [also possibly victor might come here but that's a maybe 2 him] n partly because he was probably a theater kid you can't convince me otherwise . Anyway the stories play out a little differently 2 be metaphors 4 what happened @ myers but the characters n stuff still have the same roles n every story still has a bad ending . He doesn't wanna get recognized because his involvement in the g4 cyborg incident is all he would hear about n he did this to escape not be reminded of all that shit . So he goes by Tragedy n wears a mask to conceal his face [hey wow just like tragedy in bad end theater . see what I did there]

Eventually victor goes to the theater n as soon as vincent starts speaking he recognizes his voice but isn't sure + this guy doesn't really act like vincent [stage personality] so he'll wait n see . Also I'm aware that vincent can't lie to victor 4 shit but the mask also conveniently covers any sort of telling facial expression . Anyway at first vincent wants 2 just go out n say that it's him n all that but also he's afraid how victor will react to what happened 2 him n the things hes done 2 sustain himself if he finds out . Also he's surprised at seeing that victor has robotic arms/eyes now since he still doesn't know what happened 2 him in the time gap . He wants 2 question him soooo bad but he'll wait . Mostly because if he questions victor that means he'll be questioned in return n that is the absolute last thing he wants .

Everything would play out as it does in bad end theater [going through all the different storylines n fighting Tradgey] except when the mask breaks some of vincent's cyborg parts[??] are visible since as seen in chapter 4 it looks like his body deteriorates pretty easily under stress n it's painfully obvious what he is now . But he's still him , so all of that is basically ignored when victor realizes that he was right and this is vincent and holy fuck he is alive n right here in front of me ‼️ so uh . reunion yayyyy . Questions come later which isn't fun for either of them but it doesn't matter because oh my god they're together again n alive . anyway reunion stuff .

They hug . a lot . for wayyy too long . but when it's been over a year since you've seen the best person in your entire life you're gonna b a little clingy . Not much is different about their relationship after all of this they just do not want 2 leave eachother alone 4 a while because . well . widely gestures to The Everything . After that they just sit in the empty seats [absolutely nobody else is there] n talk . it's pretty casual 4 now , neither of them r in the mood 4 anything else . Vincent explains that he's closing the theater down after this . he doesn't want it anymore n people don't come here anyway so it would b a waste . He wants everything 2 go back 2 how it was before . victor suggests that they go home n vincent says they should . They probably kiss r whatever @ some point as a treat its been 2 long . Also sometime later they have a conversation about being stuck in the past n everything since victor obviously noticed the glaringly obvious parallels between their experiences n the characters' . vincent explains that he had this whole revenge thing planned out but maybe this is okay [4 now @ least] . Holy fuck pixle writes a happy ending it's a miracle [it's more bittersweet but . shhhshush]

Hi if you somehow read all of this congrats . here's some extra little details

-the parallels between vincent n tragedy r the main inspiration 4 this since they're both hyperfocused on the past n their partner is more focused on moving on/the future it makes me ill

-the theater isn't around for long, maybe like a month or two ?? A little more ??? This timeline is really fucked. shrugs

-also nobody really comes there, only a few once in a while n half the time vince has 2 kill them anyway because yk . the whole eating flesh thing . so he doesn't have many regulars . not that he really cares about this much anyways . also he wonders what victor would think of it allll the time .

-the cats r fine b4 any1 asks victor took them with him n before then they probably have automatic feeders n water stuff [also vincent is extremely happy 2 see them again]

-vincent is extra bitter towards myers because of the whole separation thing

-night terrors after they get back . Soooo many 4 both of them it's not fun

-draco still exists because vincent already kind of started his plans with winston but he didn't have any memories 2 use n didn't want 2 use winston's since he doesn't really know what's in there so eventually he convinces victor 2 lend some because its kind of awkward 2 have a lifeless cyborg/clone just lying around + I just wanted him 2 be here because he's 1 of my favorites . sue me [don't . I do not have money]

-The plot of vtsom doesn't happen after this because vincent decides that it isn't worth it 2 go after myers n he's tired of all this shit n he has victor again so that's all that matters + victor convinces him not 2 during their conversation when leaving the theater . that doesn't mean he won't murder a few of the core members though teehee . I cannot write anything w/o murder sorry its a condition <3

-when albert calls vincent in one of the endings in twdak [don't remember the number but yk the 1 .] he doesn't answer because he's not there but eventually he calls back after a bit because why not n they talk . not entirely important just something i thought about . also they still hate eachother obviously nothing has changed about that .

-not a detail but I do plan 2 make a playlist 4 this eventually , if/when I do I'll just link it here or post it separately idk . [update I did that check reblogs if you want it] also I do have a tragedy vince somewhere that i need 2 post . victor looks basically the same I think idk what I would change

-also I'm calling this cyborg theater for brevity not sure if I'll keep that name or not but we'll see

[onegoosemad]

I want you to know, that I think a lot about your trigun AU. I want to know more, I want to consume it like a fine wine.

Oh god oh jeez oh man someone's asking about preacher au uh oh get READY FOR AN ESSAY.

Vash's story is pretty much the same, wandering peaceful gunslinger chased by a violent shadow, blew up a city once by accident and that guilt keeps him awake at night. Wolfwood... That's where we deviate, obviously. He's still a little forgotten ditch baby taken in by the orphanage and then trained by eye of michael/chapel, with the skills of an assassin and gifted that bigass punisher, but he manages to escape it before he's set on the path to chase Vash and sort of just... Rolls around on his own for a while trying to find a purpose. He ends up finding more struggling kids than he can hold and learns that if he plays up the priest part people treat him better, so by bringing these two things together he can build his own little pocket of the world where these kids can get some stability.

He ends up in a bordertown called Red River, not for the existence of a rare and mythical body of water nearby but because of a big tradgey decades ago which cursed the town to be poor and rough, the only spot he can afford to set up in- and he builds a pretty good community there, starting first with an orphanage and then building the church around it as he learns people help out more when he dangles divine reckoning over their heads. The town's divided by how they feel about him because he's jovial and approachable and a priest, but he also gets into fistfights at the bar a lot and once shot a guy (the sheriff, nonetheless) in the leg. He's known to be friendly and a lil rough.

I am working on a comic based around the AU but like all my project it's mostly staring at a canvas and hoping things appear there.

Then one day Vash the Stampede tumbles though town. He's got bandits on his tail chasing him for the bounty, they get a few good shots off on him and he's forced to take refuge instead of running and crashes into the church, intending to disappear in the pews and clutter and meets our priest who begrudgingly lets him hide in the confessional. Wolfwood scares the outlaws off with promises about the Lords judgement and the look of someone who would very much shoot these guys if they don't listen. With Vash injured, he stays in Wolfwoods company to lick his wounds and repay the favour for shelter by helping out with odd repairs and entertaining the kids (he is their jungle gym). They have a drink together, and realise pretty fast that they're BFFs from the start.

Everyone in town hates Vash, he showed up in a firefight, full of bullets and covered in blood, they're certain he's here for malicious reasons and is taking advantage of free hospitality. They find sneaky ways to try and drive him out of town, mostly by bullying him and being just generally mean. He gets punched a few times, but unfortunately for them pacifist Vash won't react in a way that'd warrant his ass getting kicked out of town, and Wolfwood's ready to throw hands any time he catches someone being cruel to him.

Eventually the anxiety of sitting in one spot for too long catches up to Vash and he moves on, but he returns at random to catch up for a drink, staying only long enough to avoid the danger nipping at his heels. Wolfwood gets letters signed by VTS, each one with a cute little bird trinket the outlaws found on his travels. He's getting a collection.

It's a surprisingly big AU despite the fairly simple setting, we've got a lot of characters involved who hassle Vash/love WW, nearing 150k of words in planning... Vash has suspicions about who Wolfwood really is in his past and why the man carries a pistol beneath his cassock, he knows that big cross has a mysterious story to it from the way Wolfwood detests it. Wolfwood still doesn't believe Vash is the legendary outlaw, and things might just turn sour as they uncover each others secrets...

That's the extent of it without me breaking out the charts and concept board 😂 we're really engrained in this AU at the moment, Wolfwood being a Mostly Good Boy trying to make the world better in his crappy little way, and Vash stumbling through the centre of it with no intention to make chaos but it finding him anyway. Plus! Wolfwood is really fun to draw in a cassock... Here's a gift of some more sketches.

and THANK YOU for asking!! I love asks and I love that you're interested in this au!!

[willow-writer-ivy]

The Story of us

So here is the first official chapter of TSOU please enjoy the next chapter is due next sat also face claim for Ophlia is Olivia Holt :)

The story of us look like a tradgey now.

Every story has a beginning, middle and ending. However, my story starts when we were 9 and it's still ongoing. Will it end? I mean we just have to find out.  

“He shoots, he scores,” Jamie shouts as he kicks the ball into the goal only to pout when the ball didn't get in, “Lia, you're supposed to let me score,” he whined. Lia laughed as she picked up the ball. 

“Im a goalie im suppose to save the goal,” 

“But, it's me, your friend. Whatever kick it back to me,” 

Lia smiled as she kicked the ball; she watched as it hit Jamie straight in the face. “Crap! MUM aunt Georgie!” Lia screamed before running over to Jamiee, who was trying not to cry. 

“I'm so sorry,” she says

“It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt.” Lia watched as Georgie ran over to them both, “Im sorry,” she cried; she could feel her mother pull her into a hug, whispering it was not her fault, “Don't be silly darling, just a nose. bleed come on, dinner is ready,”

“So I take it you're not becoming a footballer, then?” Jamie asks as he lies down next to Lia, who shakes her head, “Nope, think I'm going to stick to dancing; less chance of hurting anyone,”

“Shame, I would be awesome. Jamie Tarrt's best friend is another footballer; we both be famous,” 

“Really, keep dreaming,” Lia mumbles. 

“Oh, come think about I’ll be a famous footballer, and you be a famous dancer; we make quite a pair,” 

“Keep dreaming; what if I don't wanna be a dancer or you don't want to be a footballer?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be a footballer? What am I good at?” he asked, slightly upset.

“I mean, we are  9; what if by the time we're old, we doing totally different things,” 

“Not me, I'm a footballer, just watch. I’ll be playing besides Roy Kent and you, well, you be an amazing dancer on Broadway, who will come to my games obviously,” 

“And why is that? What if I don't want to be a dancer, or I'm not even your friend by then?” Jamie glanced at Ophelia, “Where is all of this coming from?” he asked as he turned on his stomach.

“You might not see it, but close your eyes and imagine it. I do; when I'm at home in my bed, I close my eyes and think, "I mean, can't you imagine it,” Jamie glanced over at Lia, who had her eyes closed; a slight smile could be seen. “We can make it,” he whispered. 

That was Jamie all over even from a young age he knew what he wanted to be, stubborn from the day he was born, that what georgie use to say about him, and i can see why most of us at the age of 9 don't even know what we want to play with but Jamie, he knew and that what i remember about him once he gets an idea he stick at it no matter how embarrassing, silly or hard it is. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5 years and nothing has changed well not for Jamie at least he is still trying to be a footballer, and he is pretty good, I mean he Jamie he is currently playing on a u16 team and he will get scouted. I mean look at him.

“So how did this happen again?” Coach Adams says as he glares at the teenagers sitting in his office, his eyes landing on the only non-injured person. “Tarrt, explain,” 

“Well, it was an open game, meaning anyone could play, so this girl asked to play with us, and we all agreed except Connor, who said girls are weak, but we ignored him and let her play. She has a mean kick; once she scored a goal, she turned to Connor and said it was embarrassing that someone who plays football defeated a girl. The next time she had a ball, he did a dirty tackle, causing her to fly across the pitch,” He says, looking over at the girl; she seemed very familiar. “So, how did Connor get a busted nose?” Adams asked. 

“Because after he tackled me, I went to be the goalkeeper, stopped Connor from scoring, and then kicked the ball, hitting him in the face, which was an accident. I have a habit of kicking the ball into people's faces. Just ask my mum,”  

“Connor, is this true?” Adam asked, 

“No sir, they're lying. Tartt is jealous that I'm better than him and got this bitch to attack me!” he says. 

“Call me a bitch and see what happens,” the girl says, standing up and facing him, causing Jamie to stand between them.

“Well, Connor, according to the camera, their story adds up. Miss, I'm sorry. What is your name?” Adam asks. 

“Ophelia, Hart,” 

Jamie froze; no, this is not her, “Well, Miss Hart, the under-16 woman, is looking for a new player,” 

“Sorry, sir, but football is not really my thing,” 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I'm more for dancing. I'm only here cause my mum was picking me up with an old friend,” 

“Well, that's a shame if dancing doesn't work out; you know where to find me. As for you, Connor, I think two weeks of being benched and helping the girl's team would do you some good. Tarot, well done for not causing trouble this time,”

Jamie watched as Connor stormed off, not before glaring at them both, “Well, that went well,” Lia said,  looking at her phone. “Nice seeing you again, Tarrt; I am slightly offended that you didn't remember me. i thought that kick would make you remember she mumbles. 

“Shit Lia, my Lia who used to live next to me,” Jamie says. “Fuck, your hot,” “shit, I mean,” Jamie shut his mouth before he could make things worse; he noticed Lia laughing at him.

I loved being his Lia. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9 years old. 

When Jamie found out Lia was leaving, they ran away, more like hiding in the treehouse Lia's dad built for them, “We could stay here, you know,” Jamiee says as he stares up at the ceiling.  “Or me mum can have ya; she always said you were a daughter she always wanted,” 

“I tried, no luck; mum showed me where we will live. It's nice, but it means I won't see you,” she says. “I mean, were J&L the famous footballer and the dancer,” 

“Thought you said it was a silly dream,” 

“It's not silly, it's nice something to dream about, and as to quote snow white, if you dream it more than once, it will come true so,”

“I've got you something. Had to beg me mum, but here,” Jamie dropped a little box into Lia's hand. Lia smiled when she opened the box, “It's a football necklace, so you can wear it whenever you miss me.” 

That was the end of us, I mean I thought it was you know how it is at 9 the littlest thing is the end of the world, but moving away from your best friend is definitely the worst thing, if only she knew the worst is yet to come.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present. 

“I see you still dreaming of being a famous footballer?” Lia asked as she sat on the steps of the sports centre 

“Of course, and what about you? Are you still my dancer?” he asked, sitting beside her.

“Yeah, actually, there is this audition to join a dance team,”

“You smash it when is it?” 

“I already had it; it's why I came here. Mum said she would pick me up after she had a catch-up with someone,” 

“So, how long have you been back?” he asked. 

“2 years ago, we lived in Sheffield and then moved back here a few months ago.” Just then, there was a beep; the couple looked to see Emma and Georgie in the car, “Lia, what happened!” Emma says as she jumps out of the car. 

“Relax, mum, it's fine,” Lia says.

“It's true, Emma; you should see the other guy,” Jamie watched as Emma stared at him.

“Jamiee,” Emma says, pulling him into a hug; he watches as Georgie does the same to Ophelia. “Oh, how you guys have grown,”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 years later. 

It's strange, being friends with someone, I mean we knew each other since we were 9 and watching them grow, however it was hard, watching seeing the person you once knew change and not for the best, Jamie was changing, he knew he was good. 

“Tarrt scores another goal, making it 3-1,” Ophelia smiles as Jamie runs around the pitch, cheering with his teammates; she noticed that Adams was talking to someone she knew Jamie was being scouted for. 

When the games ended, everyone stood up cheering; Opheila watched as Jamie ran over and pulled her into a kiss, causing his teammates to whoop and cheer. Ophelia watched as Jamiee dragged her over to his teammates, “I see you have met my gorgeous girlfriend,”

“So what did you think?” Jamie asked as he gave Opheila his jacket.

“You were good,” she says looking up at him, “So what did Andrew want to talk to you about?” 

“Oh, I'm being scouted, for man city, there is an over 16 junior football team and  he says i have potential but i need to play really well in my next few games so hopefully i'll be playing professionally next year.”

And he did, when Jamie got told the news we had a massive party, his team, me my mum his mum and step dad, it was one of the best memories we had, i remember he pulled me away from the party, and we shared a moment just the two of us, if only i knew 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 years later. 

“What do you mean we're done?” Ophelia asks.

“Well, since im big time now, i think i should date someone you know in my league, i mean, im Jamie fucking Tarrt. Besides, you haven't been a good girlfriend. i mean, ever since i got signed, you haven't been to any of the games. Do you know how embarrassing it is,”

“Are you fucking kidding me, i have a life, new flash; the world doesn't revolve around you, i have a life alright, and your right, i haven't been  a girlfriend, but you've been a shit boyfriend, tell me do you know what day it is?”

“No, if it's so important, I wouldn't have forgotten,” Jamie watched as Ophelia flipped him off; only then did he notice the suitcase. “Are you seriously leaving me, babe? No one leaves me?”

“I am, happy fucking 5 years anniversary to us,” 

There we are the story done, from childhood friends, to lover to strangers all the memories we shared that's all we had, you know how it is we split up went our different ways, and so that was it the end of us, well i thought it was but apparently life loves to throw a spanner into the works.

[quillandrapier]

Posting here because posting any trans stuff on twitter these days is asking to be harrased.

Tw// trans death, transphobia, hate crimes, child death, racism, anti-black death, knife crime. //

I need to get this out but...

I'm honestly really devestated Brianna Ghey death. The pain truly hit when I realised she was born in 2007. She was so young.

But if i express this despair in front of peo, ple I know as a young Londoner I can already feel the apathy and confusion over my pain.

I've heard stories of children dying for years due to knife crime and I feel the pain and sadness then. I feel people I know will point to that and diminish the tradgey that has taken place. Why care about her, nobody cares about us. Which yes is an issue but we can care about multiply things. Also the trans community is a dispersed and connected despite not knowing each other in person. And I know for a fact when a black person is killed for being black the community mobilises. I grew up in the shadow of Stephen Lawrence, the New Cross Fire, Mark Duggan, Belly Mujinga and more. I know we move when our own face injustice, can't you see trans people are doing the same?

Despite what the police say, this was a hate crime. And even it it wasn't, Brianna will face indignity in death due to being misgendered by the state and media. Trans people who talk about it will be harrassed, attacked online and treated like shit.

Yet I feel even now cis people I know will agree that its sad but will not care more than that. It will be just dagger reminding me how little cis people care about the injustice trans people are currently facing.

I hope that I am wrong, however I doubt I will be.

I need more people to fight for trans rights, not just support them as they are under attack right now and trans children are being caught up in the crosshairs.

Being part of multiple minority groups means you'll constantly be dismiss by one group and treated as a traitor by another.

I'm just tired and heartbroken and wish only love and protection for trans people right now and those who loved and knew Brianna in life.

[theballadofdrjekyll]

Ramble about PV and his trauma below

No one tends to talk about him and his trauma enough and the consequences of such trauma and how they’d affect him.

I’ve seen a couple of people portray him as completely selfish and angry and harsh, as a result of everything. And while yes, trauma effects everyone differently! I disagree. I believe that his kindness is the only thing he feels he has left, that despite everything he can continue to keep a smile.

Lets look at his character, from the first time we see him.

We first see him as a flashback alongside White Lily, they’re both said to be incredibly bright. White Lily more so but still they’re both the top of their class. We see him treat WL with respect, he’s happy, he’s wellliked. He doesn’t stop talking to her despite her distant personality (she can barely believe he wants to be friends) and he doesn’t get put off by her aroma, he sees past that and sees people for who they are. Their personality and heart. Even when he warns her against the ethical bounds of what she does, hes worried for her.

So it’s interesting to see how despite what unfolds at the academy, PV is happy to see WL at the founding of the Vanilla Kingdom, although mentions of her repenting seem to be like a sore topic. He greets her happily though, despite the fact the last time they met was at the academy. He feels awkward when she brings her repenting up and simply states how glad he is that she could be here with him. She states how he is the only cookie to accept her back, once again showing how loving and kind he can be.

These are attributes that will continue throughout his reign as king and beyond that, he’s happy, wise, wellliked. Unlike Golden Cheese (no slander i love her), he is humble, despite being a king.

The war ensues, and he sacrifices himself to seal White Lily- or rather, Dark Enchantress away. I see some people disagreeing with this, calling him a hypocrite- yet I disagree. Dark Enchantress is a danger to the entire world, I don’t see why he shouldn’t seal her away in hopes that something would change.

Now, we get to after he awakens again. Of course he’s currently an amnesiac, struggling with memories and known as Healer to the raisin village. He sees himself as a failure, useless, he is burdened by memories of the past and his failures. He seems to be stuck in the past(ironically the bandages across his eyes can symbolise that he was blind to the past too), DE’s tricks and echoes of the past show that. Despite her trickery, he speaks to her rather equally, even referring to the garden as “our garden”, when speaking to her. He truly still sees her as White Lily, despite the new name and appearance.

Anyhow, she calls him a hypocrite. He speaks that any loss of life is an unnecessary tradgey, to which she speaks on how he sacrificed himself (“and the entire kingdom”- which I disagree pretty sure she destroyed the kingdom anyway/lh) to imprison her. She calls him a hypocrite. He doesn’t say much in turn, apologising to the starter gang that they had to be dragged into a war that wasn’t theirs to fight.

He sees the vision of his friends being captured, immediately blaming himself after Pomegranate and Dark Choco blame him. He breaks down, and he is captured by the CoFD. He abdicates the throne; speaking how he wants the kingdom to be for everyone.

Something else I want to touch open is when Clotted brings the truth out in the council, PV is seen quite literally possibly having a mental breakdown as his two closest (sorry golden cheese-), friends, turn against him once more and run off from anger. Comparing him to White Lily and not trusting him, those words must’ve stabbed him hard. He had constantly thought about bringing his friends back together and he admits how he was scared to admit the truth. And I mean.. who wouldn’t be? It’s such heavy news, it’s not something easy to say.

Anyway, this is all just rambling about his trauma. How would this affect him?

Well.

Not only would he have countless memories of the war, and all the different outcomes. He would likely continue to have memories involving White Lily, being full of regret and guilt that he didn’t act sooner, that he didn’t stop her. Given by the “I was able to protect everyone.. this time” by PV, it’s also clear that he blames himself for not being able to protect his kingdom and the other heroes. (Fortunately they survive though)

I believe it’s likely he has depression and possibly a form of PTSD. These memories are something that continuously flood over him, they control him more than he controls them. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was still dealing with partial amnesia, his memories still slowly returning to him. He has always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and he continues to do that, he is relied on as the “leader” of the heroes, which I can only imagine the stress that puts on his shoulders. The fear that he will fail them all once again and it’ll be his fault if they get hurt.

So no, I don’t think he turns into some massive asshole who lashes out. Because he cannot risk that, he physically cannot risk being like that. Nor do I think it’s in his nature, I believe he’s more likely to become more reclusive, staying in his room and gardens more often. After all we do see in Odyssey how he cares for his gardens and isn’t really 100% himself. I believe he also wants to make others happy, as a sort of.. to make up for his past mistakes, if he cannot make himself happy, that is okay. He will make up for it by helping others.

I agree that trauma can affect people in all sorts of ways, but, for someone like PV to turn from being all loving and kind to a harsh, cruel, individual? It doesn’t make sense, it’s not in his nature. It goes against his morale and his ideals. And that’s all he has left, his morale and ideals. Why would he ruin that? He has his friends, he needs to stay himself for them.

Anyway yea ramble over I just think he’s a sad sad man give him a hug

[thanatosisactuallythanatoes]

Consider: Iida Edition 1

So, we all know the idea that Tensei is close to Aizawa, Mic, and Midnight. There is some fanfiction about it, but consider:

They babysat. A lot. Everyone adored little baby Tenya. The still adore Tenya.

No one, and I mean NO ONE passes a chance to fuck with Tenya. Be it with weird class rules, stuff they know, and other stuff

The students are so confused, What was the Stick Incident and why is Iida laughing so hard about it.

Iida has a lot of powerpoints, most of them are blackmail and others are random bullshit his bother handed him and he never ended up getting rid of.

When everyone graduates, they demand a randomly selected Iida powerpoint™ they get it, but it’s one of the ones his brother sent so it’s a 100 slide powerpoint about how Marilyn Monroe was actually a siren or fae.

They narrowly missed the powerpoint filled with the spreads of all of Tenya and Tensei’s photoshoots (something I shall talk about in a different rant)

The other powerpoint was a theory about the door to Not Narnia, and why The Ditch™ is important to the functioning of the friend group.

Kaminari swears he saw Tenya hit the woah the 3am in the kitchen. Not a single soul belived that Iida knows meme

Iida isn’t actually all uptight, it was a bet with his brother. He gets 10,000 yen if he wins.

The bet was if he could pretend to be an uptight, pretentious, person with the flavor of  flour, he’d get 10,000 yen. 

Iida has a weird spotify playlist. He leeches off of his brother, so when someone stole his phone to figure out what he listens to they got his brother playlist which include, but is not limited to: WAP, Yaru-chin Bitch Club theme song, Anaconda, Baby got Back, Instanbul Not Constantinople, Du Hast, Soilder Poet King, Bird Song, ect.

Along with the Yaruchin Bitch Club theme, when their parent weren’t home Tensei read it out loud like a old English tradgey, he got 10/10 yelp reviews.

Iida actually has to worse sleep schedule of all of Class 1-A, he’s just really good at hiding sleep deperavation.

Everyone still wants to know what the Stick Incident was. Like, explain??? Please.

Iida was once overheard on the phone with his brother and what has was saying was, “I never liked the taste, but I may just be baised because they make me unalived,”

Once Iida accidently called Mic Yama Yama in class, he was tease mercilessly about it from Midnight and Tensei about it.

At one point in a fight against Aizawa, (think exams, but 2nd year) and was mad at him for some reason, he of couse hadn’t slept in about 85 hours and was tired. Done™ he snapped, and just wen ton a rant about how he shouldn’t have to answer to the person behind Not Narnia.

That adds to the list of conspircies on the Bullshit Board.

The Bullshit Board isn’t to be confused with the Bullshit Binder (which is yet another rant) which is something completly different and way more problmatic. 

Mic once dropped the Bullshit binder on Iida’s desk in class, it was weird, seeing him just look at it in pure horror, because he got the completed version of January 1st every year, and it’s disturbing.

Once questioned about it, he started to read the first page out loud,

“I solemly swear to only put the best of bullshit in the Bullshit Binder, and hoep that once the year is up, our bullshitting may be put to good use in causing the chaos of the centuries.”

This contunies on for about 3 paragraphs, before drifting off and talking about brain trauma for another 7 paragraphs.

[sacks-of-kittans]

I fucked hated Rhea, what did you think of her? She doesn’t do shit for a majority of the routes post time skip.

Oh I don’t hate Rhea .

She had some raw ass lines in Crimeson flower that made me fall for the voice actor (Cherami something...Sailor Venus)

Her whole character is funny to me. This million year dragon lady, lost her mother, and someone made a sword out of her mother’s spine, so she’s suffering and clearly time did not heal all wounds. Then she wants to bring her mom back from the dead and ends up with like fake people, one who has enough freedom to go get married and gets pregnant

Lowkey theory that might have been proven, the blood Rhea put in Jeralt’s blood made him love for a very long time which is why he forgot his age and he doesn’t age. (Someone probably has made a better long post about it

But then she loses her relationship with Jeralt when her fake human daughter gives birth to a silent baby. But he still loves his baby and goes into hiding. All you done for that mullet braid man, extending his life, making his wife, and appointing him to being the leader of the best knight group. Just went up and left. Felt like Rhea was having that Schitts Creek moment where David is saying fuck on his wedding day.

So then 21 years later, Jeralt gets found by the three leaders of the continent. Which by the way one hates her guts, one lowkey wants her gone but isn’t gonna do anything and the other is stale bread (listen pre time skip Dimitri made me wanna be a student and bully his ass)

Jeralt straight up lies to her saying the kid who clearly is the silent baby isn’t the silent baby. Like look at that face, look at how Byleth just stands there and doesn’t have a million questions. How you know my dad? He dated a nun? My dad can’t flirt, look at that mullet braid! Why does this Leonie girl know my dad???? No Byleth is like oh I’m a teacher now okay. Like who just does that?? Byleth has the social skills of a fucking stick but leave them with the most important people on the continent.

My favorite thing is Rhea’s lowkey enemy is a teenage girl who is a bit socially awkward

Western church arc also funny. I know no one knows about Rhea being serios. But she makes a religion based around her mom and then these western church fucks wanna say they know more than her! Also! Wouldn’t people be suspicious Rhea is ageless and has been the pope for how long?? She knows the canon of the Bible more than them.

“Yeah go kill Sylvain’s stupid brother he’s being annoying” and then y’all do it, and if you’re sick like me, I always bring Sylvain alone to kill his brother.

I also like how she has a fan club like the students lowkey do. Cathrine and Cyril loving Rhea as much as they do. I mean it’s understandable, but Byleth just exists and Cathrine is like “hey Rhea likes you, but I should be number one is Rhea’s book you plain ass fish net wearing bag of flour.” Byleth just fucking takes that. Rhea did help them, but why did she let so many people live in abyss but didn’t make Cathrine?

Now that Rhea has her perfect grandchild her (brother?) Seteth is giving her shit cause she was trying to resurrect her mother and ended up with a silent kid. Seteth also is doing some fucking snooping which only annoys her cause she should have thought of that first but was so busy with so much shit happening and now she has her annoying ass little brother bothering her.

Haven’t finished Golden deer route but now the slithers in the dark people are getting a little more cocky and really being annoying and she’s gotta take care of that too but can’t do a full assault. I wanna know why Uncle Ardunal(? Who cares he’s evil) Patricia, and those who slither in the dark are connected. What did the gain from the tradgey of Duscur. They probably chose the empire to torture the royal children because there was like 10 of them and had a cocubine system, but the kingdom had only one kid as a possible future leader so it’s like they gotta be sneaky. They probably did think of the alliance but they didn’t have any future leader kids at the time .

She runs the knights, she runs a school full of brat kids, she runs a religion, what can’t she do? (Bring her mom back from the dead)

Now Rhea probably left the nobility in charge because the people to have crests in the first place were the dragon people (they start with the letter N) and got with humans which led to like certain families having crests right (?). She won the war against nemesis, so I guess that’s what your allowed to do once you win a war, start a government, appoint people in charge of smaller portions of the land. Almost 2,000 years later tho it back fires with a small group of people who believe in nemesis and experiment on noble kids to put 2 crests in them. Rhea had other priorities. She just got the chance of the life time to be a grandma.

My interapatation on Rhea reuniting with Byleth is nicer than what other people think. Some people think she’s so happy to get her vessel back and her mother is coming home. I kinda saw it as Rhea making up for lost time of her grand baby and genuinely loved that blank stare Byleth had. I mean she gives Byleth a job with better social interaction than staying with Jeralt mercanery band. Rhea made sure Byleth is fed, adjusting, and is overly caring but whatever she’s just happy. Telling Byleth everything at once might scare the poor kid. She loved Byleth up until Byleth betrays her for that snarky little teenager that keeps talking about wanting to change the god damn world she has been in charge of for HOW MANY YEARS. “You think you can do a better job than ME! I’ve been doing this job for 2,000 year girly!” And Edelgard is like lol watch this I’m about to ruin this woman’s career. After that shit Rhea regrets a shit ton and just wants the crest stone back so she can start over and make a fake human name better Byleth 2.0 last name won’t betray Rhea.

I just think she shouldn’t have made Byleth a teacher right out the gate. Byleth’s never been inside of a school, can they read or write(?) they thought Jeralt’s handwriting was too neat, has the same level of social skills as Geralt the Witcher whose two lines are grunt and fuck, and has not one lock of knowledge of the church, but make them a god damn professor. You put a 21 year old in a position where they gotta win the respect of some bratty rich kids, a girl who thinks your dorky dad is the coolest person ever, some shut ins, and others, I bet Byleth tried to win them over with alchol, cause no way all those kids saw socially awkward Byleth being strong and that being enough to win them over, they would just clap Byleth a freak or a monster.

Rhea goes through a lot and it’s fair she’s mostly the way she is. I also think with all the shit Edelgard goes through she also has a right to be angry. Looking at Rhea through mostly pre-time skip is fucking funny, and I don’t think she’s bad but the game really did the whole here’s your cake you’re not allowed to enjoy with her character.

#let Rhea say fuck

[nessaiscute]

what’s so great about ash/meghan?

Im very very glad you asked. Here i go

For starters, its clear they both care for each other. Ash despite the odds has said time and time again. that Meghan is important to him, even to the point where shes worth betraying his queen and mother just to keep her safe. He helped her save his brother and as much as he tries to act like he doesn’t care bout her his heart ends up betraying him and he does something to keep her safe.

Meghan loves Ash, this is clear as hell. she peferes him over her own best friend who has feelings for her. even now, Meghan is concerned for Ash when she isn’t suppose to. also meghan just wants Ash to be happy. thats something to respect, to just want a person to be happy.

also they are a very affectionate couple, they kiss quiet a few times and later Ash is very very sweet and gentle with her. they hug do all of that good stuff.

and to be blunt, even at its worst ash/meghan are a thousand times better to deal with then some of the bull with the pjo fandom. I mean, this is a lot more entertaining then bol with the percabeth stuff and I love this a thousand times more then the whole Nico debacle, yes Meghan and Ash have their moments where i just want to scream cause their idiot dorks. but thats fun, whats not fun is me changing my entire opinion cause person b, decides to be a huge jerk to a person that to be honest i felt a huge connection to. also, Meghan and Ash are no where near as over rated as Nico Will and Reyna. 

But back to the matter at hand.  the point is, these two deeply love and care for one another, it might end in tradgey it might not. but its not like i had any other options in the pjo fandom. Jasiper broke up soooo im going to deal with angst no matter what. I might as well get into something that I actually enjoy

[babyleesha]

So me and my first love officially broke up on monday. I just realized that it really is over....there is no more “good morning my love”or “goodnight sweet cheeks” just like it’s gone, literally nothing after 2 years we are left with not talking to each other. My heart literally has never felt a pain like this before and I don’t mean like heart problems or whatever you want to compare pain too. I mean like a part of me died when we said goodbye to each other I literally know what death while being alive feels like. But we loved each other, we really did and the fact that I lost my person make me mad, hurt, broken but I have to thank him for some reason because I got a chance to experience real love. My parents got divorced when I was 7 and I thought about love in the worst way and how if I ever meet someone and marry them they would just leave but not my ryan he suffered almost the same tradgeies as me and that’s why I fell in love with him he helped me feel beautiful and loved even on my most dark days he was the fucking light that helped me stay alive so I thank him. Sorry for ranting but I needed to write this down lol. 💛

[thoughtfulfangirling]

@scorpysue​ replied to this post:

Does the show need to tell you he’s the bad guy for you to believe he is?

I mean… obviously I think so. Others might not. But since the show presents his purpose, without challenging it (aka Madoka only changes the terms of the game not stops it), as a necessary evil, I think there’s a lot of room for people to shrug off his actions as also necessary. I feel like since he never even acknowledges the horror of his actions, there should be room in there to be explicit that he isn’t right. 

Kyubey is the mouthpiece of the show in a way no one else is. He presents us with all the pieces of the world building and the structure, etc. It’s only through him that we know why the whole cycle is necessary, etc. He’s the tool the show uses to explain itself. Down to ‘what Kyubey is doing is simply what we do to cattle’ which sounds like an excusing of his behaviors so we find him no worse than humans (not that humans can’t be bad). So when it doesn’t turn that tool around at any point and condemn it, I’m left feeling like the show believes in him and his mission. He didn’t have the power to do what Madoka did by himself, so it’s not his fault things have been the way they are.  

I only put this in the tags of my last post, but there’s just something about watching a series of girl children being brutalized over and over again and then seeing the barest tradgey turned back at the person who put those girls in the situations where they endured this brutalization. 

I don’t know. It feels down the ally of: people are more likely to take away what you show them, not what you tell them, all Fight Club style. In Fight Club we see toxic male behavior being ‘cool’ for so much of the show, that even though the end of it is used to say ‘this is toxic and wrong,’ it’s not what people walk away with. That’s how I feel about Kyubey. Easily the message is there that everything he is, is cruel and horrific, but we see the show using him as a mouthpiece and proving his words right time and time again, that I can’t say I feel like a casual viewer will walk away feeling like he was a villain instead of simply a pawn in a game he couldn’t control his actions in. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Just my take. 

[ruginite]

 Fidelis ad mortem 

Faithful unto death. I made a'oath t'this city, when I earned this job. Rule number nine: Y'give sum'one yer word, y'fuckin' keep it. N'I mean to.

Bastian has almost always known what he wanted to do with his life. Become a officer of the law. His father being an FBI agent for most of Bastian's childhood before he retired, a constant reminder. But while his goal was not set quite that high, it was high enough. He, as well as his best friend, Derrick Saltman, had their eyes set on ESU. Willing to put in the hours and the grind to get there no matter what it took.

Once they graduated highschool. They moved straight on to college. Gathering the credit hours they needed in order to apply. They jumped through every hoop together. Took every test, every exam. Survived every interview. Filled out every bit of paper work. And waited. And waited. And waited. Ran every morning. Set routines to keep themselves in as top physical shape as they could be. While working in a local car shop to make up the time, after classes both continued to take beyond the minimal required credit hours.

And then finally their acceptance calls came in. And they both headed off to the Academy a few weeks after college graduation. The same as they had done everything nearly all their lives. Together. Six months of not so much of a vacation later, they were standing right where they'd wanted to be. Graduatingand becoming part of the NYPD.

From there they were split up for awhile. Though in the same precinct. Keeping each other from giving up. Bastian more so than his friend. Especially after the tradgey that saw Derrick FTO's gunned down in front of him during a routine traffic stop. Derrick wanted to quit, but Bastian talked him down. Talked him into seeing it through. And soon enough they had passed their probation period.

It would be two more years before they accepted into the ESU training program. Having passed all the prerequist testing. A year shorter than was average. The going gossip it was Bastian's father that had pulled strings with the higher ups. Something that bothered Derrick more than it did Baz.

Both now twenty-five they were on the younger side of the other trainees. But where many washed out, Bastian and Derrick perceviered. The pushed through. And were rewarded for their efforts. Becoming full fledged ESU officers.

Once again they were separated. Placed on different teams for over a year. Learning their place and the way things were done. And then the real deal came in reach. The Apprehension Tatical Team or A-Team were recruiting.

Of the thirteen applicants both Bastian and Derrick and three ours were selected. Run through further training. More tests and pyschological Evals. That washed out everyone but the duo and four others. Split into three set they were assigned their tatical teams. And by some miracle (or the sheer fact of how well they worked together) they were placed together.

they would spend the next three years working the job they had been after since they were kids. Being the proverbial calvary. The heavy hand when the city had need of it. But nothing good can last forever. And no one is untouchable.

They should have known things were going to go south. The warehouse a tatical nightmare. But the threat was viable, and it was their job. They were given point. The tip of the blade to cut through the unknown. But somewhere behind them a mistake was made. A wire improperly handled. And hell broke loose.

Blown clear of the intial explosion, they were cut off from the rest of their unit. Working together through the chaos to find themselves an exit. And they almost made it.

It happened in slow motion but at the same time entirely to quickly. Bastian laying down cover fire. His ammo dangerously depleted. And Derrick waited a beat to long to move. Caught in a rain of enemy fire the moment Bastian ran out. And he was forced to watch helplessly as his friend fell.

Pure instinct moved him. Popping a a canister of tear gas, to blind the enemey he crawled his way to his fallen friend. Dragging him back behind proper cover. Derrick more dead than alive, Bastian did everything he could to slow the bleeding. But it was a lost cause. Derrick died moments later. Moments just before the their exit was blown wide open by the team mates they'd been separated from.

It's been two years since Bastian buried his friend. Two years since he lost the other half of himself. He's adjusted. Better than his parents, team mates, and superiors thought he would. But the truth is he just puts up a good front. He knows deep down, Derrick's death wasn't his fault. And yet if he'd never talked him into staying years before. If he'd let Derrick wash out...maybe he'd still be alive? It's a question he'll never have answered, and it's something he's marginally come to terms with.

But outwardly he's still the same. Driven. Committed. There to get the job done. And done right the first time. Because there is no room for error. Errors get people killed. Innocents and officers alike.

Notes:

Call sign : Mads - It short for Mad Baz. Because of the fact Bastian shares a similiarity to the cinamatic character in that neither talk very much.

[cyberspacecats]

Waste Your Time With Me

I have often found myself thinking so highly of you. I very often find myself looking for you in places that I know you’ll never come to. I fiddle with the memories you have gifted me. I cry at the sight of you. My stomach does somersaults in every direction when you speak. It’s strange that my frustration has turned into mixed emotions and yet, I found myself sobbing because I cannot help but forgive those who have harmed me. 

To the girl who I trusted my issues and complications, I have learned to accept that I do not like you. I will never trust you again. I, for some reason, hope that it means something to you. That it eats you. I found that I wish for it because whatever you did, whatever you said, always ate me. You were reckless and unstable. I am not perfect in any way but what you did was shit. So I ask do noy waste your time on or with me.

I have learned that the boy who preached kindness to me, doesn’t mean much either because he will always obess over a girl who will never care. She tried so hard with others yet with you, there’s not much. Awkward mumbles and cheap movie dates. Oh friend, I hope you see the truth before you spiral in love with someone who giggles at you for fun. Someone will shatter you if she does not herself take action. I hope it is not I who has to commit such tradgey for you. How bittersweet your friendship tastes.

To the boy whom I cannot seem to leave alone in my dreams. What a mystery we are. I crave the good memories. I am forever missing you. I dream and dream of what was and what will you be. The delicate and deep double bass will always remind me of your smirk. I will always remember the notes you sang to me. The times you held me when no one else seemed to understand. I see now that you didn’t either but you held onto me because you had nothing else. I had nothing more except my anchor. You were the pretty sunset and the tramutizing storm all together. You were the punch that felt so fucking sweet. I long for you more than ever. Highschool Sweetheart,

Waste Your Time With Me.

[toomanyselfships]

The Two-Headed Calf

N - The title means literally nothing without context. My inspiration was sparked after reading the poem and it felt right, even if this has literally nothing to do with the poem other than it making me want to write something bittersweet.

Also I go into a mindframe of "hey! Write something that sounds poetic!" As soon as I read a poem that makes me feel things even though I'm not poetic in the slightest. This is honestly just inspiration vomit.

X

She's smiling, and its odd.

Its odd to think, in her dimension, she'd be nothing but an infant in 1999, but here, in this moment, she's never felt more like a woman.

Its almost like she's forgotten what she is, that the future will bring realization and those who find them will drag her off to whatever her fate my be in this dimension. He'll let her go, she knows he will, because he doesn't know yet.

He doesn't know that the lips he's kissing are tainted. He doesn't know what she is.

When he does, he'll regret this. She's sure of it. He's good; much too good for her and the claws that lie just out of sight beneath her fingertips - fingertips that trace his skin with meticulous awe.

He's much too good for a girl made of sharp edges and fangs.

She breaths in the same air as him, oxygen polluted with the scent of death that lingers around them and tarnished farther by her very prescence. Its not something she's used to. The contact is forbidden most nights, something she would never give for fear of losing herself in the thoughts of what could've been.

If only she wasn't what she was.

Tonight she relents, though, allowing herself the touch of a human.

Tonight, she is human.

They'll parade her discovery when she's caught. In the days before she escapes, her captors will proudly flaunt the captivity of a monster. Newspapers will honor them in the shadow of the tradgey that she helped a good man survive, no mention of her actions will be found.

That's fine.

Because, tonight, she's here and his lips are against her own and she's alive in a way she's never been before. Life had become so much about others, she'd forgotten what indulgence felt like.

The concrete jungle is silent, the stench of death surrounds them, and they're both bleeding, but tonight is perfect.

And as she stares into his eyes, there's twice as much hope inside her heart as usual.

[lerin1024-blog]

Top 20 Movies (in my opinion) from Jan-June 2017, first half of the year!

1. GOLD - (Stephen Gaghan) Starring Matthew McConaughey. The release date of this was December 30, 2016. But, I couldn’t help but put this on my list. A true story of the biggest gold mining scam in history, with the mystery surrounding who was involved and who is actually still alive today. Very intriguing all the way through. Such a touchy subject to touch base on! The way McConaughey warps into each and every one of his characters is something so incredible and memorable. This is a must see.

2. MEAN DREAMS - (Nathan Morlando) Starring Bill Paxton, Sophie Nelisse, & Josh Wiggins

Bill Paxton’s last movie released after his unfortunate passing earlier this year. Mean Dreams was an adventure. Sophie & Josh worked so well together in this film, which is why it really worked so well for me. On a mission to run away from her father who is a dirty cop, this combination of young actors really ran away with the show! I hope to see them work together in a future film.

3. THE DISCOVERY - (Charlie McDowell) Starring Robert Redford, Jason Segel, & Rooney Mara

We all have questions of what happens when we die. Is there an afterlife, and if so...what is it like? The Discovery attempts to explain a scientific finding and I think it’s findings were pleasant enough to make me enjoy this movie, as well as shed a few tears. It’s moving and incapsulating...even sentimental to say the least. It never bored nor confused, as many movies will when this is the topic. Easily memorable with no frustrated questioning afterwards. Charlie McDowell also co-wrote this with Justin Lader. Two thumbs up guys. 

4. GIFTED - (Marc Webb) Starring Chris Evans, Mckenna Grace, & Jenny Slate

Raising a child prodigy isn’t easy. Especially when you are the uncle and your niece is so intellegent you would move the earth to help her, protect her, and keep her challened and safe. But what IS best for little Mary? I absolutley adored this movie and I know you will too. An emotional and heartfelt drama.

5. KING ARTHUR LEGEND OF THE SWORD (Guy Richie) Starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Astrid Berges-Frisbey & Eric Bana

Growing up in a sweltering city and brothels unknowing his own birthright brought this movie to life, as so many Arthurian movies have been made, this is my first look at one, and I was impressed. Very impressed with the way that Guy Richie made this action packed film. The sound effects and music were outstanding and really got it moving. Saw it twice, back to back. The sword coming out of the stone and wall like butter and Hunnam’s extrordinary acting abilities really made this truly the “one and only” Arthur movie, I believe. It opened my eyes to a whole other genre of films I’ve probably been missing!

6. THE SHACK - (Stuart Hazeldine) Starring Sam Worthington & Octavia Spencer

A story about a family tradgey, which leads a father to question his faith. This sends him on a mission to find answers. And answers he gets, and maybe even more than that. A kind of myseterious movie that surprises you mid-way through with picturesque beauty and underlying emotion. Tip: Grab a box of tissue and stay with it. You’ll be glad you did,

7. GET OUT - (Jordan Peele Writer & Director) Starring Daniel Kaluuya & Allison Williams 

I have never seen a movie quite like this before! Peele deserves much acknowledgement from this. During a trip to visit the parents of his girlfriend Rose, Chris is in for the shock and awe of his life. I don’t want to spoil anything here, but this is a must see and I wouldn’t necessarily consider this a “horror” film as it suggests, but certainly a strong thriller. Parts played by all were spot on and flowed well throughout this nail biter. OR should I say nightmare? (But in an entertaining way...) 

8. A DOGS PURPOSE - (Lasse Hallstrom) Starring Josh Gad & Dennis Quaid

A dog who is looking for his real purpose in life. He experiences his life and death reincarnated five times. A movie with so much soul, it is not easily forgotten. A nice one for the family to see together. It’s a tear-jerker for sure, but during the happy times as well as the sad. Josh Gad does a great voice for the dog in all the phases of his lives. A wonderful book to movie adaptation. 

9. BLACK BUTTERFLY - (Brian Goodman) Starring Antonio Banderas & Jonathan Rhys Meyers

“A Killer Story with a Twist”....Now who doesn’t love that type of movie! I know I do! This was a thrill to watch, more so because I didn’t read about it first, not even the cover. So, I was really happy with the storyline. I will admit, Meyers performance didn’t match up equally to Banderas, but that comes with eons of experience! Or, perhaps I just wasn’t use to the way he talks. Don’t get me wrong, this story was GREAT. Make sure you stay with it though. It also had the potential to be so many other things as well, but for what it was, I think it was a great watch and would recommend this to anyone!

BEAUTIFUL 10 - (Mark Pellington) Starring Shirley Maclaine & Amanda Seyfried 

Shirley does it again, and this should be in my number one spot, but this isn’t in any specific order. Harriet’s character was wonderful and powerful as Shirley’s characters always are...Strong, Independent, Wise, and Indifferent. This incredible movie teaches you to treat each day as a challenge to yourself. “Have an honest day”, Harriet will say. The risks she would take in her life would define her and she deeply wanted to be remembered, not forgotten. “Make mistakes because that’s living...” This was an honest movie, with a grest cast, storyline, music was SUPURB! And the vocabulary of basically every sentence written was perfect. Thank you Stuart Ross Fink! Many life learning messages throughout this movie, which I loved. It will not EVER be forgotten as one of the best movies I have ever seen.

11. EXTORTION - (Phil Volken) Starring Eion Bailey, Barkhad Abdi, & Danny Glover

A man in a desperate situation, without the time or the resources he needs to save his family while on vacation in another country. These things really happen, and in a world that can be uncertain at times, this movie really tuggs at the heartstrings for this man...and for the viewers! Brilliantly played by who I thought was Michael Fassbender...So sorry to Eion Bailey, who did a remarable job! I am one of your newest fans! Thriller for sure, so if you settle in with popcorn...get ready for one fast paced movie that will make time pass so fast, you won’t know it until it happens! I dare you to fall asleep during this! I’m so glad this is a nominee. Much respect.

12. THE SPACE BETWEEN US - (Peter Chelsom) Starring Asa Butterfield, Britt Robertson, Gary Oldman, & Carla Gugino

Men are from Mars & Women are from EARTH. That’s the story. But don’t be fooled by the online reviews by others. Yes, it’s a “coming-of-age” movie, but it certainly has a big spark inside of it’s whole. Born on the planet Mars, “Gardener” wants nothing but to go down to earth and live a normal life. This has consequences to his health, obviously. Undetermined, yet, even by the astronauts and medical staff astronauts, and life itself on earth...things seem pretty clear...until they aren’t. Upon finding out and missing out...the end of this movie was great...it didn’t leave me hanging (I hate that!). So, take a chance on this one and see it for yourself.

13. BRAIN ON FIRE - (Gerard Barrett) Starring Chloe Grace Moretz

She was a professional reporter, living her dream in the big city, when something goes unexplainably wrong within her. This a true story, so it stood out to me in a huge way. No spolier’s here. Although, it’s an amazing movie! So many people with this same undiagnosed conditioned have been saved because of this woman’s parents never giving up to find answers. Enough said.

14. THE LOST CITY OF Z - (James Gray) Starring Charlie Hunnam & Robert Pattinson

Based on a true “legend” of a story.... A persumed lost city in the Amazonian rain forest. British research and map explorer Persy Fawsett travels into the deep debths of the rainforest to find the truth. Is there another civilization? And if so, can he proove it? Can he even get back home alive, or at all? What is the sacrifice worth? Watch this stellar movie, which is at it’s best, although it may leave you to find the true meaning of it all for yourself.

15. I DONT FEEL AT HOME IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE - (Macon Blair) Starring Melanie Lynskey & Elijah Wood

After a home invasion, Ruth shows the normalcy of how sometimes theres just nothing the police can do. Irritated with rude people, its clever that she enlists the help of her abnoxious neighbor, Tony to help her find her computer through her GPS laptop finder on her phone. This is a dark comedy, to me...I loved every part of it. But it also moves into the suspense catagory as well, making it even better. This is Sundance! Nice to see it got the Jury award this year. Much deserved.

16. HIDDEN FIGURES - (Theodore Melfi) Starring Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer & Janelle Monae...and Kevin Costner.

An untold true story of the launch of astronaut John Glenn into space. Back when African American women weren’t treated equally, these three brilliant woman’s minds go to work everyday at NASA and are the real (competent and confident) brains behind the whole operation. This story was powerful, and got much appreciation and respect from me and many others who have seen it. 

17. BEFORE I FALL - (Ry Russo-Young) Starring Zoey Deutch & Kian Lawley

How can the power of one single day have an impact on your whole life? Based on this best selling novel by Maria Maggenti. Sam seems to have the perfect life, but she wakes up living the same exact day over and over again, tring to change things and figure out what it all means. It’s a fun watch and the book is amazing! So, give this one a shot if you want to see something teenager-ish with big twists. I have a girl teen myself, and we enjoyed watching this together! It just had to make my “Top 20″.

18. COLOSSAL - (Nacho Vigalondo) Starring Anne Hathaway & Jason Sudeikis

Now this was just FUN. Not usually my style (Monster’s)... but this was the exception because of the story and the amazing cast. A Rivalry, between two friends happens to be a very dangerous one! I enjoyed not just the cast, but how grounded it was. An easy watch, and like I said...pretty fun, and quite original in itself. 

19. SPLIT - (M. Night Shyamalan Writer & Director) Starring James McAvoy

Split personalities come out to play around in a kidnapping of 3 teenage girls in this deep seated thriller. One they leave a surprise, although each and every one is played brilliantly by McAvoy and told in a clever way by Shyamalan. All of his movies are great, in my opinion with this one taking a top spot in my mind. I loved how darkly insanely crazy this was, watching each character emerge on screen. And just knowing that the final personality took over 15 years to create. Wow! 

20. LIFE - (Daniel Espinosa) Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson

On board the International Space Station, astronauts go on a mission to brig back proof if there is life on Mars. Extraterrestrial Life. And their findings proove to be very dangerous and life threating to everyone on board. Clever, and suspenseful, I would watch this one again. It’s interesting and the cast is great. There may or may not be a few twists! 

Honorable Mention: THE BELKO EXPERIMENT, where “Office Space” meets “Battle Royale”. A disturbing game insues inside of a huge titanium or crazy metal impenetrable building full of office workers. Very blood thirsty & a thriller that does have its twist, which of course, I’m all into. Not for everyone, thats for certain, but if you like “games” like these on the screen, this is a great new one to see! 

[mentalrubikzcube-blog]

~Guide Me~ Ch. 1

A STORY I’M ACTUALLY CURRENTLY WORKING ON FOR MY BOOK CALLED GUIDE ME. LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THIN :) ~Shae xoxo

Chapter One Rissa I sit here. In this dark, depressing, dimly lit cell. Thinking back to the events that had just transpired. How could this have happned? I had been so good at hiding it. So good at keeping it a secret. But then out of no where, my whole world was just ripped away from me. And now I sit here awaiting my death. Sitting here, hot tears streaming down my face. I knew what my fate was. But what was the fate of my lover, the fate of my dear friends, the fate of my only son? What would happen to them? Would I ever see them again? Would they ever see each other again? Finally the grief comsumed me and I just cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I slowly drifted off into a restless sleep. I could see it. I could see his face. My little Xavier. So young and so happy. So precious. He was held by his father, my lover, Nathan Felix, who went by Six. The only man I ever truly loved. They both stood under a blossoming dogwood tree.  The air was cool and fresh. The sky was painted with blues, purples, and oranges as the sun was setting. The grass underfoot was lightly damp.  I was rushing through the field to get to the two of them. I wanted nothing more then to kiss Felix and to hold Xavier. However, as I got closer, they got further away. So I began to run and as I picked up speed, they continued to get farther and farther away. But I did finally get close enough to reach my hand out to Xavier and as I did, so did he, but sadly right before our fingers could touch, a lightening bolt struck right between us. Scaring both of us. He drew back his tiny hand and  tucked his head into his father's shoulder and sobbed, likewise I snatched my hand back and as I did they both faded away. It was as if they blew away with the wind. I looked all around myself for them. But nothing. All I saw was lightning, all I heard was thunder, and the sky was completely pitch black. Then it began to rain, a complete down pour. I was so sad. All I could do was fall to the ground. Crying and sobbing hysterically. They were really gone. I would never see them again. Just then I heard a voice saying, "Are you Rissa?" I couldnt tell if it was in the dream world or if it was in the real world, until I heard it again more vividly this time. "Wake up, we only have a few minutes, you are Rissa Taylor, right?" Indeed I am. But more on this a little later. I want to explain how I ended up where I did, so you can better understand my predicament and why this dream was so hellish to me. It all began several years ago, when I was only 18. I was helping my father, who was a doorkeeper. He would go around helping people clear trash out of their homes and fields. Collecting things no one wanted and taking them back to my mothers shop. She sold repurposed things. It was a very lovely little store. New and Old right alongside each other. The only issue was, we were all constantly in danger because my mother ran a Reading Circle out of the back of the store. A Reading Circle is a place where people could come and discuss religious things and read from their Holy Books. In the world that we no lived in, freedom of speech and freedom of religion no longer exsisted. They did at one time but because people didn't protect their rights, they were stripped away from us. My mother stood behind her descision to have her Reading Circle even though it was very dangerous and could get us all executed. Though the idea did scare me at times, I supported my mother 100% and so did my father. We even joined in sometimes, if we didn't have that much garbage to clear that day. But one particular day we werent there while she hosted the Reading Circle and it was raided. Someone had tipped of The Head, our now government officals, and they sent Raiders to raid the shop and see if the rumors were true. They murdered everyone inside, leaving no survivors and the whole shop torn to pieces. When my father and I arrived back home after a long day the neighbors explained to us what had happened and even helped us clean up the shop and prepare a funeral for the fallen believers. I still couldn't believe that I had lost my mother. But I had to at some point move foreward and continue my job with dad and make sure that we could support our home without mom. There was another day that I was out picking up trash and debrie, this time I was all by myself. I was on my own because I wanted dad to sleep in and have a day off. Mom's death hit him even harder then me, and I would never truly know why until several years later. But on this particualr day I was loading the cart when a boy, NO, a man, walked past me and nearly took my breath away. He was goregous. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. He had beautiful blue eyes and flowing brownish black hair. He wore a shirt that showed off his upper body very well. As he walked away, he looked over his shoulder at me and ran his strong hand through his luscious hair. I dropped the bag I was holding and trash went everywhere. As I was picking it up a shadow was cast over me and when I looked up, it was the same guy. "Want some help?" he asked "Sure." I said, standing up quickly and brushing myself off "I'm Nathan, but you can call me Six." he said looking deep into my soul with his pulsing blue eyes. He threw the rest of the trash into the cart and then finished with a question, "Whats your name?" I stood there a moment, bewitched by his eyes, becoming lost in the blueness, like a ship lost at sea, but then suddenly snapped out of it and stuttered an answer, "Rrr-issa Rissa Taylor." "Oh." he replied, looking down at the ground I was confused by this, what was that suppose to mean. I had never done anything to tarnish my name or my family name, so why would he all of a sudden become closed off. "Oh?" I enquired, I had to know more "Sorry. When I heard your name, I remembered the article I read a couple days ago about the Circle Raid that happened in Unit 44. I'm sorry for your loss." he said, again looking at the ground I was shocked! I didnt know there had been an article. What did it say? Why was it written? Probably to heed people from Circle Readings. Trying to push forward their communist agenda through the tradgey of a lost life in a small family. I snapped back to the conversation and asked, "What all did it say?" "It just warned against illegal meetings and how people should only be reading materials The Head has distriputed. It went on to say that the loss of this woman, left behind a young girl and her father. The names were listed as Stephan Taylor and his daughter Clarissa "Rissa" Taylor. Thats how I knew who you were. Again I'm so sorry." The waeight of it all hit me right then and there. My mother was gone and it was all because of The Head and their stupid rules. If it hadnt been for all the laws, my mother could have done her Reading Circle without fear of death. But no The All Powerful Head couoldnt have that. She wasnt hurting anyone, she wasnt doing anything wrong. But no, they decided that she was too much of a threat, along with the others that had chosen to gather with her. Why was our world like this? I remembered peaceful days where my mother read to me out of her prayer book and we would sing songs and have a great time praising our Creator. But the only person we were to praise now was The Head. The same person who took my mother away and my father and I had to pick up the pieces of a raid that should have never happened. Not to mention the trauma it enflicted on both of us. My father was so heartbroken he could barely get out of bed and do his daily tasks. Even getting coffee in the morning had become a chore, because mother and him always use to share a cup so that the rations would last longer. This government had taken my freedom, my liberty, my rights, my pride, and now my mother! with tears welling up in my eyes I shouted, "No! No! No!" The man was a bit taken aback and asked, "Are you okay?" "No, they've taken everything from me, but they won't get away with it." I said, trying to wipe my eyes and compose myself before I completly lost it. "You hate The Head too?" he inquired, his eyes glued to me for my answer Oh crap! What if he was an undercover officer working for The Head, going around using his looks to by pass the walls built up by young girls to see who was for and against The Head and take them out without any big commotion coming from it. Had I just signed my death certificate? Honestly I didnt care if I had or hadnt, I was so fed up with this government and what they thought they could get away with. This was my life and I was going to live it how I saw fit. So I straightened myself up, wiped my eyes, looked him square in the face and stated confidently and boldly, "I hate The Head with every fiber of my being, and God willing I will take each and everyone of them down. And in so doing, make them feel the same agonizing pain I have felt for the last 18 years of my life." there was a moment of silence, if felt like that moment lasted a a thousand years, then out of no where a smirk spread across his face and he said, "Good. We need more like you if were ever gonna take these sons of whores down." and with that he pulled out a cigarrette and lit it, even offered it to me. And since that day I have never loved a man more then my dear Nathan Felix.