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2.43 S1 Chapter 1.4 - Young Yunichika

4. MISCONDUCT

Translation Notes

1. Bon refers to a young man from a well-to-do family

2. These are lyrics from the opening theme for the famous volleyball anime, Attack No.1

3. I know nothing about Attack No.1 so I have no idea what this is referring to. The original line is “ヒロイン訛ってるって”. If you know anything about this, let me know

4. The kanji for Meisei is 銘誠. 銘 from 座右の銘 (means favorite motto) and 誠 is pronounced makoto by itself

5. Meisei-chuu as in Meisei Middle School

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Haijima Kimichika was an idiot. No, his grades overall weren’t that bad. He was slightly above middling for his third semester finals. However, Kuroba was dumbfounded when he saw the breakdown of that “slightly above middling.”

In regards to math and social studies, he was well above the average, and in fact, he was at the top of the class in his grade. Math, ninety-five. Social studies, ninety-nine—that was the first time he ever saw ninety-nine on an exam paper. He was taken aback by the brilliance of the two 9’s next to each other.

But, things didn’t look good from there. Science, seventy-three. English, sixty. His marks around here were so normal that it made you wonder what his high marks in math and social studies were. Apparently, his strong areas were unusually inclined towards calculation and memorization.

Japanese,

Thirty points.

…They really were unusually inclined.

“Ooh, there’s a whole row of x’s here. What a nice view.”

It was a question about close reading a novel. The answers to “What are the emotional states of the characters”-type questions were continuously absurd, and the way the x’s were written was becoming increasingly desperate, as if to represent his Japanese teacher’s emotional state.

“For the question ‘Please answer in eighty words or less why you think the king forgives Melos,’ you answered, ‘Melos was naked the cow,’. I can see the signs of suffering from trying to write a little more, but not being able to write a sentence and getting frustrated. …Cow?”

“Shut up. You’re always joking about people’s exam answers.”

“Ow ow ow!”

Kuroba groaned as he fell prostrate on the exam papers spread out between his legs with a weight pressed tightly against his back. The other club members laughed at the two stretching as a pair.

“You shouldn’t laugh at other people, Yuni. You got forty-two in math and fifty-five in social studies.”

“Hey, don’t read it aloud. This is an invasion of privacy.”

“Japanese…oh? Eighty-seven. Not bad.”

“For real?”

His back lightened with Haijima’s upset-sounding voice. He lifted his body with a self-satisfied look that said “Fufufu. Japanese is the only thing this guy’s good at,” but Haijima, who snatched and returned Kuroba’s Japanese exam paper, once again pressed down on his back tightly with his entire upper body while staring at his answers with a slightly displeased look on his face. Kuroba grumbled “Ow ow ow” while facing the floor in an open-legged forward bending position.

“Why did you answer the cow question like this? I don’t get it at all.”

“First, let go of the cow…I think the first issue is that no cows appear in the story. I’m getting worried about whether or not you can get into high school.”

He briefly wondered if one could get into school through a volleyball recommendation, but even if one could, it didn’t matter because there was no chance of their weak club reaching the point where they could get noticed in a big tournament. If Haijima was in his previous middle school, recommendations might come, however—he hadn’t asked Haijima himself, but there was no doubt that he had been in a fairly strong volleyball club with a decent coach. He had no idea what a full-scale stretching regimen was until he started practicing with Haijima. Next, Kuroba laid on his back as Haijima took his legs and thoroughly stretched them.

I thought that since Haijima would have nothing left if you took volleyball away from him, it would be his greatest desire to go to a strong volleyball school, but…

Haijima Kimichika was a volleyball fanatic.

The ban on club activities, which had been suspended a week before finals, had been lifted, and they held a practice day at once. With people turning up once they knew it was active, the boys’ volleyball team, which used to be as good as non-existent, had more or less taken on the appearance of club activities recently. With just barely six people, they still haven’t been in a match yet.

It was when they stood up and stretched their backs after finishing their brief stretching session.

“Kuroba, how tall are you now?”

Haijima said while looking up at his hair whorl.

“Hmm? Didn’t I say I was one-seventy-three?”

“When did you measure that?”

“Um…in fall, I think…November?”

He tamped down his hair whorl, but his bed hair bobbed back up. He felt depressed when he wondered if he had been exposing this hair to people all day since morning.

There was a scale on the door frame of the gym equipment room that could be used to measure height, and was used to compare heights for fun during club activities and gym class. It was probably the work of students from decades ago. It was the culmination of very precise work, with each millimeter being carved out from one-fifty to one-eighty centimeters with a utility knife.

“One-seventy-five-point-zero.”

Putting an empty powdered drink box to the top of Kuroba’s head, Haijima read the scale out loud.

“Ooh, I grew two centimeters?”

“My turn.”

They exchanged places and now it was Haijima with his back to the scale.

“Don’t raise your heels. Um, one-seventy-two-point…seven.”

“Ah. I grew too.”

But, Haijima didn’t seem too happy about it. With a sullen face, he left the scale and grumbled “Two centimeters off.”

“Two-point-three centimeters off. Don’t round it down. You’re a setter, so you don’t have to be so worried about your height, right?”

“I have a favorite player. It’s Abe, who was selected for the national team. He’s a setter, but he’s one-ninety-one. Even for setters, the bigger you are, the better you block and the faster you set. And, Abe’s ambidextrous, and he has a good left dump.”

“Huh? That reminds me, do you also…”

Haijima served with his left hand. But which hand did he hit with outside of those times...he didn’t have a clear impression. He felt like he recalled him hitting with his left and with his right.

“Use both hands?”

“I do,” He said carelessly, but was that something so easy to do? “There’s still an eighteen-centimeter difference, huh… But Abe can’t hit jump serves, so once my height catches up, I’ll be better.”

When it came to the subject of volleyball, Haijima became more talkative than usual. The way he spoke was basically like cutting short the front part of the context and throwing away the back end, but he came to be able to speak fairly long lines in a polite manner. He must love it a lot, he thought in half amazement and half admiration.

“I’m not sure if you have way too much confidence in yourself or is just an idiot…but I never thought you’d compare yourself to a member of the national team.”

He forced a smile, and got glared at with resentful eyes. He got scared, wondering if he said something that made him angry. He still wasn’t very good at knowing what set Haijima off.

“Kuroba, at the practice game, you see blocks and differentiate between hitting the ball cross and straight, right?”

“Cross-court and straight…oh, straight is where you hit the ball right down the middle, and cross is where you twist a little and hit it outside.”

“It’s the other way around, dumbass.”

He had answered with hand gestures while tilting his head to the side in confusion, but was completely denied with an insult.

“A cross is a spike that passes through the court at an angle. A straight is a spike that goes straight and parallel to the sidelines. When you’re hitting on the front row, you tend to step towards the center in front of the net a lot, so if you hit it straight on, it becomes a cross, and if you hit it with the intention to twist it outside, it will be straight.”

“So complicated…”

“It’s not that complicated, but…oh well. I’ll teach you step by step.”

He thought “Teach me?” every time, but why was he naturally acting like he was above him?

“Even if you don’t understand it with your head, you have good eyes, so you can deal with blocks. Being able to naturally rotate your trunk midair, the length of your time in the air, the suppleness of your shoulders…those are qualities you’ve probably always had. You will get good. It’ll be in no time if you do it properly. You’ll be taller, too.”

“…? Do you have a fever?”

He stared at Haijima’s face suspiciously and got a suspicious look in return.

“What. Did I say something weird?”

“No, it’s just that you’re always so self-important, so I thought you were someone who wouldn’t praise or acknowledge people in that way.”

“If there’s something to acknowledge, then of course I’m gonna acknowledge it. But, there’s no way to acknowledge what’s not there.”

Haijima stated, pouting and seeming truly upset.

Haijima never flattered. He wasn’t humble. He couldn’t hold himself back. Indeed, he might be sincere and straightforward in a sense. …But, he thought it was probably a tough way to live. Most people didn’t want to be told the truth right to their faces.

“You will get good.”

Afterwards, slowly but steadily, a ticklish feeling welled up in the depths of his body. It was uncool to take someone at their word, so he purposely looked indifferent and said,

“I have a talent for volleyball, huh. It won’t make me all that popular though.”

He feigned ignorance and talked big. Unlike Haijima, he felt like he had been drifting through life frivolously, with a bunch of façades lined up in front of him, obscuring reality.

***

The days have become longer, and the chill had subsided considerably. It was now often possible to sneak peeks at patches of blue in the sky which had been covered by depressing snow-laden clouds in midwinter. The sun had completely set when he nearly ran over Haijima in front of that karaoke box in February, but by mid-March, there was still some faint light left in the sky at that same time of day. A rusty copper sunset fringed the ridgelines of Mount Nokude in the distance.

Since their houses were in the same direction, he ended up going home with Haijima on days they had club activities. Their enamel bags, slung over their shoulders, rattled, and they tread on the rugged road in their snow boots. Although the snow on the road melted during the day and was close to becoming sherbet, it had begun to freeze again in the shape of punched-through car ruts and footprints. During the snowfall season from December to March, elementary and middle school students were prohibited from cycling to school, so it took forty minutes to get there on foot. There was no doubt that they would starve before they reached home, so the two stuffed their cheeks with sweet bread as they walked. Incidentally, he stuffed himself with two pieces of bread before club and of course he was going to eat dinner when he got home. At any rate, he was hungry. And at any rate, he was sleepy.

Until one or two months ago, he would have wanted to skip over middle school and become a high school student as soon as possible, but come to think of it, he had stopped thinking about that recently. He had no time to think about superfluous things because after he finished club activities, went home, ate, and took a bath, he immediately went to bed. He fell asleep feeling like he was sinking into the floor with his futon, and then when he woke up, it was next morning.

Finals were over, and now it was time to neglect everything and go into spring break. And whether he left it alone or made a fuss, once the break ended, he would become a third-year. The word examinee still didn’t really strike home for him.

“Haijima, what are you gonna do for high school? Are you taking it here?”

He finally broached the subject that actually wanted to ask him about during club, but hesitated over.

“Well, I was thinking of taking it here, but…”

He got stuck on how Haijima trailed off at the end of his sentence, which was unusual for him.

“But? Is there a condition or something?”

He once again asked Haijima’s profile, which was bulged out with the bread he stuffed in his mouth. He wasn’t wearing his glasses right now. Haijima always followed the procedure of putting in contact lenses and taping his hands before club started. If he taped first, he wouldn’t be able to handle his contacts. When club activities were finished, he followed that procedure in reverse, but there were days when he went home as he was, perhaps because he couldn’t be bothered. From the point of view of Kuroba, whose vision had never fell below 20/20 and whose fingernails and bones seemed healthy and strong, he had a difficult constitution.

“More importantly, new first-years will come in April.”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. Skilled guys would get picked up by the other clubs, so it’s better not to get your hopes up, but maybe we can get one or two people.” More importantly? He had a feeling he was changing the subject, but the timing to repeat the question escaped him.

“If we get more members, I wanna go to a tournament. I don’t know the tournament schedule here, but there should be a prefectural tournament before the summer inter-school.”

“Tournament, huh. But even if we can be in it, I don’t think we can win at our level…”

“It’s no fun if you don’t play a game. I wanna be in a match. I’m gonna train you all to be presentable enough by summer. I’ll take care of the rest.” Once again, he said that he was gonna train us without hesitation. Is he treating us like performing monkeys or something?

Ah, there it was. The sparkle in his eyes like that of a dinosaur-loving elementary schooler. Though he was just being arrogant and saying something self-centered, when he had that look in his eyes, he couldn’t help but feel that it was as though it was being secretly switched with something of pure purpose. Kuroba realized that he couldn’t oppose those eyes at all.

“Ooookay, got it. We need an advisor to be in a tournament or it’s no good, right? Let’s ask tomorrow.”

When he said that with a sigh, a crude voice called out to them from the side of the road.

“Hey, isn’t that the head house’s bon walking there?” (1)

It came from in front of the signboard of the aforementioned “Karaoke Box Monshiro”. Was this the only place to hang out? Well, it probably was. There were three men. Two 125cc motorbikes and one moped. Each of them was sitting astride their seats and hanging their butts on their tandem grips, smoking cigarettes as they tucked their chins inside their collars of their jackets, looking cold. They had the appearances of what countryside delinquents should be.

“Oh, Yori-chan!”

Kuroba called out to him with a smile, but Yorimichi only took a glance at his appearance and looked away.

The other two were Yorimichi’s senpais, both from the neighborhood. When someone other than his relatives called him the “head house’s bon”, it was probably filled with ridicule, but since he was used to it, he didn’t react to it every single time, and Kuroba greeted them in a friendly manner as well.

“’Sup. It’s been a while. I didn’t know you guys are back.”

“It’s spring break in uni too. Bon, how much you got today?”

“Oh…I only have some coins. I’ve been doing club activities lately so there’s a lot of times when I’d be leaving my bag alone.”

“’Club activities’?”

The two repeated it with a rising inflection that contained laughter.

“Oh, is that what Yorimichi was talking about?”

Smirking, they eyed Kuroba from the top of his head to his feet. He uncomfortably let his gaze escape to Haijima, who was waiting next to him. When he looked at Haijima, he could see his own appearance like he was looking into a mirror, or rather, he was just copying Haijima, but—he was wearing a knee-length padded coat over his jersey with his rectangular enamel sports bag slung over his shoulder, and he really did look like he was coming back from a sports club. In regards to the padded coat, Kuroba saw Haijima’s and also bought one recently.

“You do receives or something, how did that go again? We didn’t do it in gym in high school, so I completely forgot.”

The two had mean smiles on their faces, pointing their chins. Either the smoke of their cigarettes or the whiteness of their breath from the cold made their stubbled mouths misty.

“Um, it’s like this, I guess…?”

Kuroba had no choice but to drop his hips on the spot and did the posture for an underhand pass, and the two cackled and applauded.

“Wow, looking pretty good, aren’t you? I know, it’s that thing, Attack No.1, right?”

“That old manga? It’s that ‘I won’t cry, I’m just a girl’ thing, right?” (2)

“The heroine spoke in dialect. Gyahahaha!” (3)

“Haha…”

When Kuroba forced a smile while feeling his face turning hot, his bag was suddenly pulled on. The strap was biting into the pit of his stomach. “Gueh,” he groaned as he turned around.

“Haijima?”

“You’re just getting looked down on. We’re not playing around. Don’t keep them company.”

Like he was pulling on the leash of a not particularly disciplined dog, Haijima primly started walking while gripping the strap. “Okay, okay, don’t pull me. It’s dan…” Right when he twisted his body around and rushed to follow him,

“You’re hanging out with us, right, Yuni?”

Yorimichi called out to his back.

Haijima turned around, not even trying to hide his annoyance. Kuroba also followed his gaze while feeling lost. Turning away and smoking his cigarette, Yorimichi snorted sarcastically.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting’ influenced by Fighting Spirit Chika-chan, are ya? You’re the one who’s gonna be embarrassed later.”

“Hey…oh, hey Yori-chan, are you mad at me? Sorry for not hanging out with you lately. We’ll do stuff together during spring break.”

“Kuroba, we’re practicing during spring break too.”

Haijima’s dissatisfied sounding voice pierced the back of his ear. “We can’t practice everyday, right?” When he turned around with a half-smile, his face seemed to say, As a matter of fact, of course we are. “If we’re going to the summer tournament, we’ll still never make it in time even with that.” “Are you serious…” He was of course ready to have fun and relax during spring break, so when he was told to be prepared to completely spend that time on club activities… I underestimated this guy’s volleyball obsession.

“Yuuuuni. You understand, right? It’s no good for you. It’d be less embarrassing if you stop playing around. I ain’t patient either, so I can’t wait too long for you.”

“Hey, even Yori-chan’s being mean? You’re not serious, right?”

He looked at Yorimichi again with a twitching smile. “Oh, you’re pretty popular, Bon. If you pick one, you have to cut off the other. This is a real mess.” The two university students irresponsibly jeered and aggravated the situation.

“You, you get it, right? I have the same blood in my veins as you, so we get fired up and cooled off easily. I’ll probably get bored halfway, right?”

He ended up prioritizing putting Yorimichi in a good mood with a joking tone. A cold sweat ran down the nape of his neck as he felt Haijima’s burning gaze scorching it.

He knew that he was playing it safe. He was still afraid now that Yorimichi would throw him away. He wanted to secure the warm place he could always return to if things got tough. Don’t put me together with you, he grumbled in his mind. Haijima, who didn’t have an ounce of doubt about himself doing volleyball, probably wouldn’t understand, but for us until just now, guys who went hardcore for club activities were just something to be watched from a distance and gawked at.

Yorimichi bared his teeth and grinned.

“Haha, that’s right. You’re the same as me.”

Relieved, Kuroba also slackened his cheeks.

And, the heat wave of Haijima’s gaze that was burning the back of his neck also abruptly disappeared. The strap was released to send him flying.

“Then quit now.”

Haijima said it bluntly in a cold voice, a complete reversal from the heat of earlier.

“Hey, no need to go that far…”

“I don’t want to the tournament to get messed up.”

“Messed up…”

He immediately guessed that he was talking about scandals that would result in a suspension. Kuroba himself didn’t smoke or drink, but he overlooked Yorimichi doing it. It wasn’t illegal to ride double on a bike, but having only one helmet was probably not allowed. It wasn’t a good look to sneak into karaoke bars either. He didn’t really care about it until now, but it was somewhat understandable that school sports were sensitive to those kinds of issues.

Haijima’s concern was reasonable, and perhaps this was where he should be sorry. But on the contrary, antagonism reared its head. So, from the beginning, he wasn’t worried about whether or not Kuroba would continue to do volleyball or not, but about that?

“You showed your true colors, eh!”

Yorimichi’s loud voice suddenly rang out. Haijima glared suspiciously at him and Kuroba was also confused. Peeling his lips back in a vicious grin that made him draw back a little, Yorimichi continued to speak in a theatrical way.

“The infamous ‘Genius Setter’ of Meisei Middle School only thinks about satisfying his own desires, right?”

“Yori-chan? What are you talking about?”

“You were the one who wanted to know, Yuni. You asked why he came back here. That’s why I investigated.”

Haijima’s sharp gaze immediately moved to Kuroba. He did voice his doubts, but he thought the conversation ended there, so to think that Yorimichi would investigate it…

“Oops, you’re barking up the wrong tree if you’re blaming Yuni. It’s that ‘you reap what you sow’ kind of thing, right?”

Yorimichi came down from his bike and stepped on his cigarette to put it out. He thrust his hands into the pockets of his down jacket and approached him with bowlegs and swinging shoulders, looking particularly vulgar. “Move, Yuni,” he said, pushing Kuroba aside and standing before Haijima.

“I could have easily gotten the name of your school from your grandpa through mine. Well, I used Itoko though, since I’ve been given up on by Gramps. So when I quickly searched the net…oh look, there’s slander of the ‘Genius Setter’ who reigned over Meisei Middle until last year. The net sure is terrifyin’. Everything’s on there. Well, I guess it means you’re not liked very much.”

The more Yorimichi talked, the stiffer Haijima’s expression became. The color disappeared from Haijima’s face that seemed to embody the world’s arrogance and fearlessness, and his gaze dropped downwards. The shadow of Yorimichi, who was a size bigger in height and width, hung over the head of Haijima, who was looking down and biting his lower lip. “Oi oi, look at the poor guy, Yorimichi. Don’t bully middle schoolers. You’ll make him cry.” The two university students saying insincere things were completely taking the role of spectators.

“Yuni.”

“Huh? Y-yeah.”

Kuroba reflexively responded, unable to catch up with the conversation very well. Yorimichi’s face changed from that of someone tormenting a dying animal, and when he turned around, he was no longer smiling. It was an extremely serious expression.

“I don’t have anything against Chika, but I don’t really care. I think it’s petty to talk about other people behind their backs online. It’s all for you. Don’t get too absorbed in it. After all there was apparently someone who attempted suicide because of this guy——”

An instant later, Haijima barked something that couldn’t be expressed in words and grabbed Yorimichi. “Oh?” Although Yorimichi staggered a little, their physiques and amount of fight experiences were different. He grabbed Haijima’s face and thrust it aside, just like he was grabbing a ball—a dodgeball instead of a volleyball—with one hand and throwing it violently. Haijima was lightly blown off two or three meters away, the side of his face crashing into the muddy snow-covered road.

Because it was the first time he heard Haijima’s enraged voice, Kuroba was temporarily distracted by that. He hurriedly broke into Yorimichi’s path.

“Yo-Yori-chan, stop! Violence is no good!”

“He was the one who charged at me. Ah, it’d be no good for a sports boy to be violent, right? Didn’t you say that yourself? I’m being kind by ending it with just knocking him down.”

Yorimichi threw mocking jeers at Haijima over Kuroba’s shoulder. Kuroba turned around and ran up to Haijima, who was crouching and holding his hand to his face. “Oi, you’re alive…” he knelt down and was about to touch his shoulder, but what Yorimichi said flashed across his mind and he stopped his hand.

…Attempted suicide…?

“Let’s go back. My ass is frozen.”

Urging the two university students, Yorimichi returned to his bike.

“Yuni, get over here.”

Summoned, Kuroba looked up at the chin of Yorimichi, who was sitting astride his bike, but hesitated and returned his gaze to Haijima. His earlobe, which was poking out from the gaps between his hair, were terrifyingly white. No way, is he actually dead? He thought, but he saw a fist clenching the snow underneath his face pressed against the ground. Mud soaked into his white taping and stained it brown.

He couldn’t leave him here and go home.

“Even if you say go home, you won’t let me ride double anyways. I’ll send him home, okay?”

“Well, whatever.”

Yorimichi backed down easily with just a shrug of his shoulders. The sneering had already disappeared and he returned to his normal self.

“Don’t forget. Wash your hands of him as soon as possible. From his reaction, it doesn’t seem like those are groundless rumors. Be careful on your way home. I’m talking about the snowy roads and your teammate next to you.”

Perhaps Yorimichi also felt that he went a bit too far. He awkwardly turned his face away, made his engine roar its usual crude and vulgar sounds, and departed on the Komashi-gou.

***

“Mei from zayuu no mei and makoto, Meisei. (4) It’s called Meisei Private Academy Middle School. It’s a middle and high school in one, and their sports clubs are pretty strong. Apparently the distribution map of famous private schools is common knowledge among Kanto kids. You can’t really experience it here, can you? There aren’t enough schools to choose from. Hey, everyone’s gonna hang out in the city after the end-of term ceremony, so do you wanna come with us? I wonder if Haijima would come if we invited him. You guys have been getting along well lately.”

“Um, oh, yeah. If that’s all I can ask then I’m good for now. Thanks.”

He hung up first because it seemed like the conversation would never end if he left it alone.

Itoko said “Everyone”, so the group probably included girls. To tell the truth, he was really jealous of this merry spring break-like event. Normally he wouldn’t be able to refuse. But, it was only today that he couldn’t get into the mood at all. He was willing to bet that Haijima would never come either.

He put the phone handset next to the desk and turned towards the computer again. Since he had an agreement to not own a cell phone until high school, the only place he could access the Internet at home was the laptop in his dad’s study. When he tried to convert Meisei-chuu (5), he realized he didn’t know the kanji for it, and since Yorimichi said he learned it by way of Itoko, he called to ask her directly. Based on the current feeling, Yorimichi had really only gotten the school name, and it seemed he didn’t tell Itoko more than that. He felt relieved about that.

A school with a strong athletic department. If this school was that famous, then it might not be strange for there to be a rumor or two to float around the Internet. After all, there was even a message board titled “[Monshiro Town] Old Man Kuroba [Yokai]”—Yorimichi thought it was hilarious and told him about it, but Kuroba never searched for it because he was scared of learning the contents.

“Tokyo meisei academy middle school boys volleyball club attempted suicide”

He entered the search words, and just when he was about to click the search button, his finger stopped. He couldn’t easily press the key. Of course he was unbearably curious. But, he was afraid to find out the contents for that more than Grandpa’s message board.

“Yuni? Where are you?”

His mother’s voice came from somewhere on the other side of the sliding screen door. He twisted himself around on the tatami chair and raised his voice.

“In here! The study!”

“Why are you there? Aren’t you going to take a bath?”

“Okay!”

After thinking about it a little bit, he ended up pressing the backspace key to delete everything he typed in. Once he did so, he completely gave up, closed the computer and stood up.

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#2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu #2.43 book 1 #2.43 translation

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datawyrms · 4 years

Text

More Than Lost (2/2)

Dannymay day 9, Glow. A continuation of this, but you can get the gist without if needbe :v

Danny’s hazmat suit wasn’t simply misplaced, it was missing. Despite checking every reasonable place in the lab, and several nonsensical places, the suit did not turn up. Danny never used it, he had almost seemed embarrassed about it, much like Jazz was. How had it just up and vanished? It wasn’t even a reasonable thing to steal, not many scrawny fourteen year olds were in the market for hazmat. Even if a ghost had decided to try and steal some Fenton tech, taking Danny’s suit and ONLY Danny’s really wouldn’t help. Though ghosts could be completely erratic it still didn’t feel like the correct answer. Surely if a ghost had stolen it, they would have flaunted their ‘win’ over the ghost hunting couple, much like how Phantom casually used a stolen thermos with zero remorse daily, to going as far as stealing the Ecto-Skeleton and defacing it with it’s own ghostly attributes.

A human wouldn’t bother stealing it, and if a ghost had, they would know by now. So why was it missing? Her eyes rested on the Boooomerang, the choking weight of concern setting back on her chest. She couldn’t be certain if the ghost had meant it to be a small taunt or credible threat. At the bare minimum it showed the specter was back in the human would, and didn’t care if the ghost hunters knew it. Was it so cocky to think they were no threat to it? Or was it a reminder that it knew exactly where their children lived if they angered the beast again?

Thankfully Jack could always be trusted to drive such concerns away with loud bravado and strong embraces, even if he might be a tad too optimistic in this case.

“Don’t worry Mads, that ectoplasmic punk’s got another thing coming if it thinks it can threaten the Fentons! The house will know if it sets one slimy foot inside!”

“I know Jack, something just doesn’t feel right. What if it already did something?” her hands fiddled with a pen, unable to write down any reasonable actions the ghost might have taken, or relate anything to the missing hazmat.

“Oooh! I can take the Fenton Environmental Ectoplasmic Entity Detector for a spin! I think I’ve managed to have it filter out the standard amount in our house. All thanks to your calculations!” his grin was infectious.

“Aww, I know implementing them was all you sweetheart.” Still, having Jack do a quick sweep of the house would be comforting. Knowing the pesky pretend ‘hero’ ghost had not approached their children might quiet the strange dread she couldn’t shake from last night.

Jack accepted a peck on the cheek before racing off to finish re-assembling the device while she busied herself with going over the ghost shield schematics. Phantom had a nasty habit of appearing inside areas protected by the green domes, and the sooner she figured out what flaw the terror was using to get through, the better. If she could tune it to reject any quantity of ectoplasm, she would. Unfortunately with the portal, and that whole little problem with the entire town getting dragged into the ghost zone almost everyone in Amity had some level of contamination. Nothing worrisome, but enough that it could harm humans if she wasn’t careful in accounting for that. Maybe a mode for full deflection at night?

The paper was soon filled with calculations and tiny sketches so that Jack could have a helpful visual, completely losing track of time.

“Maddie?” Jack’s lack of joviality was more worrisome than anything else, her attention towards her work gone in an instant.

“The scan wasn’t good?” she asked, privately hoping he simply had failed to get the invention working completely.

“Er well. It definitely tracked a ghost leaving the portal.” he rubbed the back of his neck, showing his wife the glowing trail the ghostly intruder left highlighted on the small screen of the device. “The problem is it completely loses it after it goes upstairs-”

“Into Danny’s room?” she finishes, heart in her throat. If that thing had done anything to their son…

Jack nods, managing to keep his voice steady. “It can’t still be in there, but it doesn’t pick up anymore shed ectoplasm after that. Maybe I over compensated and the ghost was just moving too fast to shed enough ambient ectoplasm?”

“Or that monster has a way to suppress expelling ectoplasm for brief periods. It is in our world far more often than most ghosts manage.” She tried to focus on the possible solution instead of the horror of where the ghost had been. At least it had not gone after Jazz as well, it had likely planned to but ran out of time. “We’ll just have to give the kids a good check after school.”

“And some spector deflectors! You think they might complain less about wearing them if they look like a watch?” Jack was pacing, hands moving as if he was already planning on cobbling the idea together. “Is the belt too ‘uncool’ for the kids?”

“When it comes to their safety, we don’t care how uncool it is. It’s a good idea though, Jazz might prefer it.”

“Alright! Operation: Hands off My Kids, Ghost Scum! Is underway!” Jack seemed a bit more at ease with an actual plan of attack, sprinting off to the lab without barely a second glance. They’d just have a big dinner to make up for all the meal skipping, it was fine.

She knew Danny had always been a bit leery of their inventions, and had expected some pushback from the boy, but she hadn’t expected Jazz to be so vocally opposed.

“Mom this is the fifth time you’ve accused me of being a ghost! Your obsession with them is making you see symptoms that don’t exist!” she pointed an accusing finger at the both of them before grabbing her brother by the shoulders. “Come on Danny, we don’t have time for this.”

“It’s not like that Jazzy-pants! We know you aren’t a ghost, but one of those putrid piles of protoplasm might have done something to you two.” Jack insisted, blocking the exit to the room, barely managing to weather the teenager’s glare.

“We’re much better at detecting ghosts now sweetie. No blasts or goop, no invasive checks. It’ll only take a few moments, then you two can get going, okay?”

“Absolutely not! We are not indulging in your paranoia, I know I’m fine, and I know Danny’s fine, and that should be enough for you.” she almost seemed to be shielding her little brother as she went on. “Your inventions fail all the time, and you’re trusting that over us?”

Danny was remaining strangely silent throughout the argument, as if he was hoping he could become invisible if he scrunched in on himself enough. He was rather timid, but he’d usually have some sort of complaint by this point.

“Well, okay. I guess you’d know if your brother was possessed.” Jack admitted. “Just to make sure you two stay that way, I got you some Fenton Watches! It tells the ghosts that it’s never time to try to touch you!” He held the green and silver timepieces proudly, not noticing how Danny visibly recoiled more firmly into his sister’s grip.

“Oh and become complete social pariahs? Danny has enough trouble connecting with his peers and you’re going to try and force that on him? Honestly.”

That finally got a reaction from her son, the boy glaring at his sister. “Hey! I have friends!”

Jazz gave him the patented sibling ‘Shut Up’ look before going back to glaring at their parents. “I’ll let you know if we start acting out parts of the Exorcist. Until then, all of this? Paranoia, and we’re not indulging it.” With that the redhead forced her way past her father, brother in tow.

“Maybe the ghost did get to Jazz.” Jack muttered, glancing at the stairs the two went up.

“It might have. That’s okay, we can use the EctoIlluminator at dinner. When she understands ghosts are a real threat she might stop protesting so much.” Maddie clutched the flashlight-looking device firmly, trying to keep calm. Something was definitely up with the two of them, now that she was looking more closely. Has this ghost problem been a long term one? They had tried to stop assuming any oddness was ghost related after the incidents Jazz mentioned, but perhaps they had been wrong to do so.

Jazz was still putting up the defensive front, eyeing their served meal before touching it. “If this has any sort of magic ‘ghost detector sauce’ I’m tossing it and ordering something.”

“It’s just food dear.” Maddie started eating her own meal, feigning casualness as she watched the two picked at their food, Jazz eyeing every bite as if it was going to jump up and do something, while Danny just looked too tired to eat with any speed.

“So how was school?” Jack prompted, apparently bothered by the silence.

“Long.” Danny muttered, still chasing a pea with his fork instead of using his knife to help pick the vegetable up.

“Maybe he’d have more to say if you asked about his interests. Or anything that wasn’t school and ghosts.”

“Jazz.”

“What? It’s true! If they actually wanted to have some family time they could at least try to be interested in us as people.” Jazz crossed her arms, apparently satisfied by the wince Jack made.

“Jazz.” Danny repeated, a frustrated edge in his tone.

“You’re right Jazz. We’ve been so busy with the portal and all the ghosts that we may have been a little more distant than you would like.” Maddie felt a pang of guilt, Jazz’s accusation mirroring her own worries. If they had paid more attention, would they have caught that something was wrong sooner?

“When I was a teenager I never wanted to see my folks! Thought you guys might be the same as your old man.” Jack apologized, and Jazz actually smiled at him.

“No, I take after dad. Can I go now?” Danny asked, already half pushing out of his chair.

“We haven’t even had dessert, hold your horses kiddo.”

The boy slumped back into his seat, glaring at Jazz. “Whatever.”

Jazz ignored it, going off on a tangent about her day and future plans, Jack nodding and adding comments about his time in high school as Danny continued to do his best to melt into the chair. Other than a few glances at each exit of the room, the teenager seemed to be incredibly bored.

Everyone seemed distracted enough to run the quick test, slipping the EctoIlluminator out of the cupboard along with the box of cookies that was being used to hide it from view.

The beam of light passed over Jazz with no reaction other than her own, a furious “MOM, we JUST talked about this!” as she got to her feet and moved surprisingly quickly in the direction of her brother, but Maddie’s wrist was faster.

The half awake teenager grunted at the bright light, eyes narrowing to block the worst of it. Yet the glowing green that replaced his normal blue hue and shined back at her confirmed their worst fears.

The ghost using Danny as a meat puppet didn’t seem to notice the change, shielding himself with an arm. It was strange, as if there was an entire separate layer hiding under his skin, almost like a glove. Had their son been possessed so long that the ghost was everywhere, not just in his mind?

“Can you not flash light in my eyes mom?” the ghost asked, blind to their reactions.

“I knew it.” Maddie nearly growled, weapon out in seconds as Jack got to his feet.

Danny’s body swallowed, trying to look at both of them at once. “Knew what? You’re kinda freaking me out here.”

“You think we didn’t notice your threat last night?”

“I haven’t threatened anyone?” the fake insisted, looking to Jazz for support. “Did mom and dad get overshadowed or am I missing something?”

“You’re hopeless.” Jazz said as she stood protectively between her parents and the thing she thought was her brother. “Your gadgets always pick Danny up, stop threatening my brother.”

“Overshadowed, huh? Is that the word you used when you threatened my son?” she ignored Jazz’s outburst, it was for the best that it was solved now. “Sounded nicer than possessing him?”

The ghost frowned, confusion clear on Danny’s face. “Mom, I’m not overshadowed.”

“Humans don’t have glowing green eyes. I don’t know what you did to Jazz to make her defend you, but you’ll pay for it.”

That got it’s attention. He froze for a moment before actively hiding more behind Jazz. “I swear I’m not overshadowed, I can explain-” he was struggling to find words,

“He’s not. Danny is still Danny, green eyes or not.” Jazz insisted, still keeping her position between them and the sputtering ghost.

“Jazz, I know he seems normal, but it’s a ghost impersonating him. Just let us save your brother, okay? Jack lowered his weapon slightly as he tried to appeal to Jazz.

Their daughter just continued to look furious. “I’m doing enough of that, seeing as you’d be shooting at him!” She only spared a moment to glance back at her brother. “You need to tell them.”

“I can’t, look how bad they’re taking it already!” he hissed back

“Either you do or I do.”

“It’s not like they’ll believe me!”

Their argument only made Maddie’s heart hurt. Somehow this ghost had been around long enough to convince Jazz having some ghostly bodysnatcher around was a good thing?

“Mom. Danny isn’t overshadowed, or possessed, or anything else. Put the weapon down.” she squared her shoulders, showing the famous family stubbornness. “He’s just more ecto-contaminated than other people, you know that. He sets everything off.”

“I know you mean well, but the ghost hiding behind you is not your brother.”

“Yes, he is! Listen to me! He’s no different today than from last week! It’s not my fault you can’t see that!” she only had eyes for her mother, not noticing how her large father could be surprisingly quiet when he had to be.

“It might be a very good mimic, Jazz, but ectocontamination wouldn’t make his eyes glow like a cat’s. We know what we’re talking about.” This was agonizing, her own daughter being tricked into defending some filthy ghost so strongly.

Jack managed to hit the thing squarely in the shoulder, knocking it away from Jazz as it yelped and clutched at Danny’s arm, trembling slightly as he got back to his feet. No ghost emerged from the boy, but she spotted as his eyes flared green again, if only for a second.

“Can I go to my room now?” the ghost asked through gritted teeth.

Jack instantly looked apologetic, looking as if he’d run to the boy’s side to bandage any wound he may have gotten.

“Don’t fall for it Jack, it just has a strong grip on Danny. I saw it.”

“No you didn’t! You just shot Danny, no ghost, and you’re still going there’s a ghost? You need to stop this, right now Mom.” Jazz was in her mother’s face, trying to snatch the weapon away. “You need help. You’re seeing things.”

“Fine.” Maddie let Jazz fumble the gun away, keeping a sharp eye on the ghost pretending to be her child. “You said you could explain, so do it.”

Danny swallowed, apparently hoping that she would have forgotten that stammered excuse. “Um. Well. You know that ghost flu everyone had? I’m like that but all the time? Kinda?” he kept rubbing at his arm. “And not sick! I’m fine, really.”

That was quite some time ago now, and a terrible excuse. It almost pained her to address this ghost as her son, but she had to play along with Jazz long enough to get something stronger to cure Danny with. “Danny, the amount of ectoplasm created by that illness would have killed any human exposed to it for more than two weeks.”

“Well I’m not sick! I just...glow sometimes, okay? I knew you guys would freak out, but Jazz saw it and well-” he cut himself off, noting how Maddie’s face didn’t shift an inch. “You don’t believe me, do you.”

“No, I don’t.”

He seemed to be struggling to say something, needing to glance at Jazz before finally sputtering out, “I’ve been like this since the accident, okay?”

Suddenly her boy being possessed didn’t seem like such a bad thing. If he had been ‘like this’ since the accident, could it possibly mean that- “I’m listening.” she managed to force out, hoping she didn’t sound faint.

“After that I uh. Could do weird things. Like the eye glowing thing. I’ve pretty much figured it out, but I was scared to tell you so...I didn’t.” he was mumbling, looking down at his shoes.

Maddie managed to catch Jack’s eye, able to tell he had the same thought, and it broke her heart. How had they completely failed to notice? She crouched down a little, trying to be a little less intimidating. “I’m sorry we scared you sweetie.” she could barely hold the tears back, struggling how to even ask for forgiveness properly. How did you ask your child to forgive you for causing their death and not even noticing?

Jack seemed to have similar problems. “You died in the accident?” the horror in his voice might have been funny if it wasn’t a true statement.

“What? No! I’m fine, heartbeat and everything.” Danny insisted, grabbing at both of their hands so they could feel the slow yet steady pulse. “I’m just a bit. Weird now.”

He didn’t even know he was dead. He must put all his time and energy into looking human, not to fool the world but to fool himself. It would explain why he seemed so tired all the time, burning so much energy to fake a pulse and warmth while barely getting any back from the surrounding air, seeing as how he likely never stepped foot in the ghost zone to replenish himself.

“We’re very proud you haven’t misused that weirdness.” she said, trying to think of a way to ease her son into realizing the truth of the matter.

“Mom! That’s just rude.” Jazz still had a bunch of opinions, apparently buying that Danny wasn’t dead. Of course she would, she wouldn’t want her little brother to be dead.

Jack looked at her oddly, but didn’t argue, deciding she must have a plan. If Danny was a ghost now, that didn’t mean they didn’t love him, but he couldn’t go on pretending to be something he wasn’t.

“...Yeah. Okay, now you know, I have homework so-” he fidgeted.

“Danny, can you just answer something for me before you go?”

“Sure?” his anxiety was contagious, it practically wanted to make her start pacing around the room.

“Did you wear your hazmat suit on the day of the accident?”

“I did. Why?”

“Do you know where it is now?” It would be easier to lead him to the truth by making him realize it himself. “It’s not in the lab.” His mouth slammed shut again, apparently that was going to be his answer.

He continued to struggle over what he wanted to say before finally sighing. “Not really.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this Danny,” she pushed her goggles up so she could look him in the eyes. “The suit is on your body. You lost it when you died.”

“I’m not dead!” his insistence was confident, not the silent acceptance she had hoped for. “I didn’t lose it. It’s just gone.”

Jazz elbowed her dead brother, who gave a bit of a scowl.

“Danny, hazmat suits don’t just vanish. We still love you, even if you’re a ghost.” Jack added his approval and love of his son, but the ghost still seemed obstinate on this point.

“Okay, fine! I know where it is.” he groaned, shooting Jazz another look. “I’m not dead. It just looks a bit different.”

The Fenton parents weren’t expecting that, wondering if Danny had made himself a very long and complicated reason to keep denying his death. “Where is it then?”

“You saw it. Last night. Actually you see it a lot.” the boy rocked on his heels, still looking unsure about something.

“Just spit it out Danny, before they start planning your funeral.” Jazz snorted.

“I’m trying okay! It’s still kind of hard to ignore the being torn apart threats okay?” he said with a huff.

No wonder he’d denied it so long, he must have been scared senseless that they would have treated him like one of those ghost blobs instead of as their son. “We haven’t seen it anywhere.”

Danny let out a long sigh, resting his forehead on his knuckles for a second. “Yes you have. You promise not to shoot?”

“Of course we won’t!” she wasn’t sure what he was planning on showing them, but that was an easy enough promise to make.

“No, he’s totally right to make you promise first.” Jazz muttered, glaring pointedly at her brother’s singed shoulder.

“Yeeeah about that…” Danny looked at them for a while longer before apparently deciding they were genuine. A bright flash, brighter than the flashlight had been summoned two rings of light at around the boy’s midsection before sweeping over him.

He changed from a very human looking boy to what was unmistakably a ghost. A ghost they knew and had fought countless times.

“I guess the ghost zone thought I looked better inverted?” Phantom said, a weak grin accompanying the ghostly green eyes and stark white hair, his frosty glow making the whole room feel frigid. “I really was lost last night.”

All they could do was hold Danny close in a choking hug, tears falling as they struggled to let their poor boy know how sorry they were without words, as their minds couldn’t even begin to think of where to start.

#dannymay2020 #Danny Phantom #Maddie Fenton #Jack Fenton #jazz fenton #my stuff #this got too long #my goodness #also it's super obvious but w/e #i had fun

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passionate-reply · 4 years

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THE HUMAN LEAGUE - “ROCK ‘N’ ROLL”

So, was anybody going to tell me that the Human League covered Gary Glitter’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll,” or was I supposed to just find that out for myself?!

Originally released in 1971, Glitter’s most famous tune is a simple paean to the genre in question, both lauding its golden age “in those far-off days” as well as trumpeting its timeless, classic cool into the present. Nowadays, “Rock ‘N’ Roll,” specifically its second portion, is strongly associated with sports stadiums, though that’s always been a fairly arbitrary selection process. I mean, if “Go West,” a song blatantly about gay migration to the West Coast, could successfully be adopted by football hooligans, then surely the actual subject matter of the original song is pretty irrelevant. That, and it was also semi-sampled in the KLF’s rather tawdry 1988 novelty hit “Doctorin’ the TARDIS.” Of course, you may already know Gary Glitter as a disgraced sexual predator, perhaps even better than you know any of his particular songs. I certainly did, long before ever hearing any of his music. It won’t surprise you that “Rock ‘N’ Roll,” and “Doctorin’ the TARDIS” for that matter, have been rather deliberately memory holed over the ensuing years.

That aside, the entrance of the Human League is where this really gets interesting. This track is from the earlier portion of their career, before founding members Ian Craig Marsh and Martyn Ware formed Heaven 17, continuing this counter-cultural, quasi-industrial sound, and frontman Phil Oakey transformed the Human League into dangerously palatable pop. Recorded in 1980, the original song, from roughly a decade earlier, would have been seen as rather out and uncool to begin with, and the harsh and sinister electronic soundscape here makes a dark parody of the song’s original sentiment. The lyrics harp on the immortality and invulnerability of rock music--an idea that still seems to fester in the minds of many music critics--but the twitching machinery expands behind them like the barren landscape of the lifeless Moon.

In a way, they were right--Phil Oakey and “Don’t You Want Me” kind of did kill rock music. The antiquarians who mourn and lament the death of rock understand that the freewheeling spirit of pop, and the accessibility and crystalline perfection of the synthesiser, go hand in hand. Electronics have won this culture war with force of arms, like an invasion from Mars whose vapourizing lasers are peerless compared to terrestrial weaponry...and the pop charts of today are a kind of colony populated by Martians who don’t play the guitar. Oakey and company weren’t necessarily rewarded for their prophetic vision, though--despite a timely performance on Top of the Pops, the single release of “Rock ‘N’ Roll” never gained much traction in the charts.

#human league #the human league #music #new wave

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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819

what is a food that you’d hate to be allergic to?: Omg SEAFOOD. Can’t live without it. If I was allergic to it I’d be that person who brings tons of antihistamines everywhere I go so I can power through when eating crabs and mussels and shrimp. I just can’t live a life of being forced to watch others eat seafood while I can’t lol.

what color was the last towel you used?: Light blue.

would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? Same height or a tad bit taller is fine; I’m not super particular when it comes to height.

when was the last time your nose bled? My nose has never bled before and I dread the day it happens for the first time, because I’m totally unprepared and blood freaks me out and I will highkey probably pass out for a bit hahaha.

how old are you turning this year?: I already turned 22 last April. Considering the circumstances, my birthday had surprisingly gone really well too.

what is your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie?: French fries from Potato Corner. My go-to bucket size is Mega and I will typically request my order to be 1/2 barbecue and 1/2 cheese fries. I’ll feel super uneasy if I don’t have that exact order when watching a movie at the cinema.

swimming pool or hot tub?: So I had to look up hot tub because I wanted to know how it’s different from a jacuzzi, and holyyyyy crap I’ve learned something new - Jacuzzi is a brand of hot tubs, wtfreak my life has been a lie I thought it was a word!!! Hahaha in any case, I do prefer hot tubs more. I’ve always felt dirty hanging around in swimming pools.

can you swim well? I’m not able to perform any of the strokes like an Olympic athlete, but I can tread well and for a good amount of time.

what body part do you wash first in the shower?: Not really a part of the body per se but I’ve always washed my hair first.

who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? No thanks, I find that too invasive.

what kind of first impression do you think you make? Cold and a little aloof, which isn’t too far off from the truth especially if I’m not approached first. If someone does talk to me for the first time, it’ll depend on their body language whether I’ll choose to continue to be reserved, or if I’d want to be bubbly and vibrant around them.

name your last reason for using a camera? My dad honked his horn as he parked in the carport to let us know he was home, and my dog ran up the screen door and sat patiently to wait for him to come inside, his tail wagging the whole time.

where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Sometimes I’ll line up our dining chairs together so it can turn to some sort of bed, and I’ve been falling asleep on that often lately.

what are you excited about? To drink the rest of this milk tea my dad bought me :) He went out to run some errands and I guess he’s been hearing me talk about how I miss having milk tea, so he went out of his way to go to a Chatime and get drinks for me and my sister.

seven days from now, will you be in a relationship? Yes.

are you a happy person? My emotions are always all over the place. I’m never consistently in a certain mood.

when was the last time you laughed really hard & why? I was bored and missing normal life last night so I went through my uploaded photos on Twitter so I can see what I used to do before everything went downhill...and by doing that, I realized that I’m quite good at tweeting HAHAHA most of my captions made me laugh and my content/photos weren’t all that bland or bad either. Idk, this is one instance where I can confidently say that I’m funny hahaha.

what are you wearing? A UP shirt and a pair of shorts.

what do you want? For my college to post the official list of graduating students for this school year so that I can finally partake in the tradition of changing my Facebook DP to my senior photo. I REALLY love how my portrait turned out and I can’t wait for my loved ones to see it.

did you enjoy your weekend? It was okay I guess. My mom was annoyingly cranky throughout Saturday for no reason, but it mellowed out by the next day and that’s good enough for me. Other than that, it was just as uneventful as the last three months have been.

do you regret anything you’ve done recently? Just little stuff that I get over quickly like, “oh I regret making this coffee at 11 PM because it’s now 3 AM and I’m jumpy as fuck.” But no big regrets recently.

is there anybody you wish you could see? For fucking sure. I don’t even have to tell y’all who it is.

have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j or m? Nope. I almost went out with an M, though.

how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2 3/4 lol. I trust Andrew 110%...and I mooooostly trust my dad. Not with every single topic under the sun, but I still trust him a whole lot nonetheless.

do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? I hope I will be by then.

what makes you mad most about girls? Definitely wanna avoid generalizing in this question but the way some girls will fawn over men is super hypocritical and that bugs me to no end. Girls shaming other girls for a range of things is also annoying, whether it’s over wearing too much makeup, not wearing makeup, choosing to abort, physical appearances, their diet, etc. Some really need to mind their own fucking business.

have you ever been given roses? Yes.

do you even like getting flowers? I love receiving stems or bouquets but I’m not obsessed with them in that I wanna get them regularly. Giving me flowers for Valentine’s Day or on our anniversary is more than enough for me.

what’s your favorite flowers? Peonies.

could you go out in public looking like you do now? No. I’d change my shorts.

who’s the first person you texted today? I haven’t texted anyone today.

would you move to another state to be with the person you loved? That’s a toughie...it would depend on the opportunities I have wherever I live in the present, and whether there are better ones where my partner is. I’m young and still building up my career, so realistically I’d wanna look out for myself first instead of clumsily jumping in headfirst for love lol.

how’s the weather today? It’s strangely warm and humid and uncomfortable, which is annoyinggggg. News has said that the wet/rainy season already begun, so I don’t know why the sun is still hanging around and being, again, annoying.

what color are your eyes? Really dark brown, almost black.

do you like poptarts? In my country we only get the same five flavors but my favorite out of all of them is chocolate fudge. I really wish we had a wider selection though :(

where will you be 12 hours frm now? Getting ready for bed most likely.

is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated? No. I’m usually the one who involuntarily makes others feel intimidated, oops.

do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Not exactly but it’s definitely gonna be one of the several tops and shorts I’ve just been repeatedly wearing at home since March.

are you on a desktop or laptop? Laptop. I haven’t used a desktop in ages.

does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure one or two people do, but I genuinely can’t care less.

what are you planning to do today? Finish my milk tea, maybe take another survey or two, eat the salted egg chips that my dad bought, and, if it cools down later in the day, take a quick nap.

play an instrument? I can play the recorder. I also memorize several songs on the piano, but the key word there is memorize lmao. I just know which keys to press due to watching covers over and over; but I can’t read notes, I don’t know which letters match which keys, have no idea what major and minor is, and I basically know absolutely nothing about using a piano.

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Just to get closure from certain people or events. If I can go back in time I’d spend more time with my late grandpa, for one.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? I’ve already forgotten.

have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an r? No. I’m an R though, heh.

have you ever passed out? Yeah numerous times. I’m a big fainter, which just sounds so uncool lmfao.

are you easily confused? Yes I feel lost quite easily. I’m often the butt of my friends’ jokes because of this, but I don’t mind hahaha.

do you think you would make a good wife/husband? I like to think that I would be, but I dunno. I’m still insanely young and I know I’ll be a completely different person with different priorities, mindset, attitude, etc., by the time I get married. It’s too early to tell.

what’s your favorite kind of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Queso real is also a really good flavor and it was my favorite for some time before my taste shifted to cookies and cream.

do you like coffee? Love coffee.

do you like summer? I like it when I get to go to the beach or when my family books trips out of town or the country, but I reeeeeally could do without the hot and sticky weather. It’s definitely not my favorite period of the year.

where were you at 8am this morning? I was asleep for half of it, then by 8:30 I was up and scrolling through Facebook.

do you fall for people easily? No. That is one thing I can’t do as a demisexual haha.

everything happens for a reason? This is usually my mindset, yes. It helps me process and accept circumstances better and much more quickly.

have you ever dated someone more than once? Yup, Gab and I have broken up before.

who have you texted in the last 24 hours? No one. Not really big on texting these days as I’ve been using Messenger to contact people throughout the quarantine.

what color nail polish is on your toes? My toes are never painted.

do you find members of the preferred sex confusing? People of any gender have the potential to be confusing. < This.

what are you listening to right now? Right now all I can hear is the work being done for the new house that’s being constructed in front of ours, so I’ll hear the occasional shoveling of stones and trucks coming in and out of the construction zone. The last music I listened to was the Presto from Summer of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons because Portrait of a Lady on Fire always makes me feel things.

how has the week been? It hasn’t been horrible, I’ll give it that. I’ve been revisiting my old fandoms out of boredom but it’s turned out to be a lot of fun; my mom brought home cupcakes at the start of the week; I had milk tea today; and we just had Kimi groomed this afternoon so his fur is all gone and now he looks like a giant rat.

is there something you wish you could tell someone but can’t? I wish I could have respectful debates with my Duterte- and/or Trump-supporting relatives, but I know that’s impossible.

what are your biggest turn offs? People who: can only hold shallow conversations, are disrespectful to those in the service industry; are casually homophobic, racist, sexist, transphobic, and/or fatphobic; take their religion way too seriously; and neglect their pets.

favorite shirt to wear? My CM Punk Best in the World shirt, without a doubt. I’ve been wearing it semi-regularly for nine years and have absolutely no intention of throwing it out.

favorite drink? Depends on my mood and the occasion. If I’m studying I’d wanna have coffee with me, if I’m casually dining at a restaurant I’d be happy with iced water, etc.

last person to say ‘i love you’ to you? Gab.

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah, but when that’s gonna happen again I still have no idea...

what’s your favorite color gummy bear? I always find myself reaching for the red ones.

what is the nicest part of the opposite sex’s body? I don’t consistently stare at a certain part of a guy’s body.

have you ever run into a dishwasher? No, those aren’t common here.

ever had a song sung about/for you? Nope.

is there a baby in the room with you right now? No, not technically. But I do consider my pets to be my babies. < Same. Kimi, now a giant rodent, is walking around the living room at the moment but he never strays too far from me.

where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other? CAAAAAAAAAR. This is a big reason why I miss driving, I haven’t been able to belt out in a while.

what is your favorite thing that is green? I don’t own a lot of green stuff since it’s my least favorite color...buuuuut I do have a printed flowy dress that I just love to wear, and it’s mostly olive green.

what did your last text message say? It’s an automated text from a vet clinic I went to last December telling me that I should bring Kimi back for a checkup. I appreciate the gesture but I’m not going back there after how condescending the vet was acting towards me.

what is the way to your heart? Acts of service has been my love language for the longest time.

what do you smell like? I smell nothing off of me now but I do know that I don’t smell unpleasant, because if I did I would’ve noticed it immediately and would feel more conscious.

what’s in your pocket? I don’t have any.

anything in your mouth? Not right now but I’ve been sipping milk tea with pearls all afternoon.

ever hurt yourself playing wii? Only after my first day of playing Wii Sports. It was like a workout for my tiny 10 year old body and I woke up all sore the next morning.

do you have freckles? No, not a common feature here.

what’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Knives Out.

ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on? Noooooooooo. I feel like that’s super uncomfortable; I’ve always entered pools with a swimsuit or bikini. My glare is usually enough for people to understand that I wouldn’t appreciate being thrown into a pool while I still had clothes on.

are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday? Technically. I took a shower in the evening and changed into the clothes I’m wearing now, but that was in the evening so it’s not like I wore them all day yesterday.

name a song that you know all the words to: Every single Paramore song. Guaranteed.

what’s the last thing you watched on tv? If we’re really going with a physical TV, the last thing I watched was Descendants of the Sun when I used the Netflix app on our TV. The last series I watched in general was Friends.

what can you hear right now? Two fans whirring in the living room.

did you feel better or worse or the same yesterday? I’m slightly better today. I’m glad Kimi has finally been groomed since his fur had knotted up in the last couple of weeks. Plus I also have milk tea today, and that’s always a winner :)))

are you close to your siblings? With my sister, but we treat each other like buddies and are more of the tough-love type. We banter more than anything and we don’t hold heart to heart talks.

do you bite your nails? No we have a nail cutter at home that I use. If I’m going through a period of heightened anxiety I will bite my nails though.

do you like your feet? Uh, I guess. I’m not complaining about them? but I’m also not attracted to feet. Mine are just there and I’m fine with them.

do you sleep well at night? For the most part.

#survey #surveys

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girlbookwrm · 6 years

Text

i DO recommend these fics, but this ISN’T actually a rec list

a while ago i did a meta about Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier and Hydra and the headcanons I put in The Terror of Knowing, and I mentioned that I wanted to compile a long-ass list of fics that inspired The Hundred Year Playlist and ppl (hi @conlatio and @marveluc) asked about it SO HERE, AT LONG FUCKING LAST, IT IS.

Fanfiction, like every other art form that has ever existed in the history of ever, is all about synthesis: combining pre-existing elements to make something new. It’s the making something new thing that’s exciting. (If you’re not making something new with your found material, that’s called plaigiarism and it’s distinctly uncool.)

When I was in college and grad school, if we used material from other scholars to make a new idea, we made sure to include a bibliography.

Now this is fic, so like. Everyone knows that we’re using found material. We put the fandom in the tags and everything. But there’s a lot of unseen inspiration, because it’s harder to tag all the fics and metas you read that gave you ideas and inspiration along the way.

I’m... making an attempt.

These are some, SOME of the fics that inspired the headcanons and characterizations and whatnot that then got incorporated into THYP. I’ve been reading MCU fic since 2014 (possibly earlier) and I didn’t even start thinking about THYP until 2017, so there’s probably a lot of stuff that went into my subconscious that I’ve forgotten about. I’m @ing the authors and sources when I know them, but if any of yall want me to like, un-@you (is that a thing??) or if any of you know of authors who have tumblrs that I DIDN’T @ but should have, pls let me knoooowwww

A (Probably Incomplete, but at least Attempted) Fanfic Bibliography for The Hundred Year Playlist

by Seriously I Don’t Have More Important Things To Do? Astonishing.

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS IN THE FICS THEMSELVES. THYP may be rated T for Teen (and even that I debate about tbh, given all the swears and violence) but most of these fics are very emphatically not. some of them will probably squick you out, some of them might be triggering, so take care of yourselves.

I’ve divided the list into sections by the story they inspired, but all of these stories inspired all the parts of THYP, this is a very very very rough categorization. Think of it as my fanfic n headcanon spice rack. some stories are going to have more or less of one spice or another.

Dreamers With Empty Hands

All the Angels and the Saints by @cesperanza

"You're a brutal person, you know that? You're always rummaging through my guts with your bare hands!" and then Bucky turned away, his long, muscled back curving as he sat on the edge of the bed, hunched and struggling for breath. Steve wanted to draw him, and he also wanted to blot the image from his memory: this picture of Bucky in despair.

Speranza’s Socialist Steve is deeply flawed in a way that people don’t usually write him and i love it so much??? He’s angry, and egotistical, and righteous in a way that’s hard on the people around him and I was like YESGOOD MORE PLS. It’s also a masterful example of how to write a story that’s ostensibly Steve-POV but still manages to make Bucky not only a main player, but a driving force. It’s about Steve, on the surface, sure. But it’s also about Bucky, because Steve is about Bucky and I just *clenches fist* love it.

cascades.

This fic. THIS FIC. Hngh. Okay so this fic is good on so many levels, but for THYP, the takeaway was me very gently lifting the Bucky-Steve-Barnes Family dynamic and then adding more swears to get to my take on the Bucky-Steve-Barnes Family Dynamic. Namely:

“Steve was a bit of a Barnes, too, wasn’t he,” she says.

“He was ours,” says Rebecca, shrugging. “We were his.”

i crie???

More Man Than You

“You’re very pretty,” she said, and Steve tensed up.

“I’m not a fairy.”

“No, you’re not, are you?”

this fic has a study guide. and that’s literally all I feel I need to say about it. It’s an exploration of queer culture and masculinity in the 30s and 40s, thinly veiled as stucky fanfiction. (It’s also pretty brutal so I’ll reiterate that you need to heed the goddamn warnings)

Also, lest yall think I came up with Billy Thompson in a vacuum, I didn’t. In this fic, there’s a violent mob runner called Duke, and Steve comes up with a plan to take him down, and Bucky makes sure that there’s a Different plan that Steve doesn’t know about. It’s all executed a little differently in this fic, but the idea lodged in my brain and got reused in THYP, and kind of became a central theme.

Good Morning Heartache, What’s New?

The Night War by @praximeter

IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. This is... honestly, just one of the finest pieces of fiction i just

HNNNNGH

I don’t know that I can point to any specific part of this fic and say “this gave me that idea” it was more the... the feel of it. The way the Normandy invasion is written and the way the trauma is handled and the way Steve is just slightly to the left of being a real soldier and especially this:

He asked me with a smile on his face what goes through my mind when I line up my shot—God and country? Pearl Harbor? Uncle Sam? —and I stared at him struck dumb from the question so long that I think he thought I was just plain stupid. The fact is that it is none of those things—not even close. It is sick, numb fear and careful, barely breathing so that I don’t miss. I must never miss. And then when I shoot, an awful thought curls up from my trigger finger to my heart “how many mothers must be praying I will miss?”

The Thirteen Letters

oh you didn’t really think that Not Easily Conquered wasn’t going to be on this list, didja? OF COURSE IT’S ON THE LIST. But possibly not for the reason you might think. That fic is legen-fucking-dary of course, and the scene where Steve gets stabbed was obviously very inspirational for that bit in GMHWN where Steve gets shot in the thigh, but the scene that really got teeth into my brain and Would Not Let Go was the one where the Howlies meet the Winged Victory of Samothrace and

Bucky knows the truth now. It is a deep and insurmountable truth. She has no face. Like the operative whose head he beat in, like the boy who he killed one month into active duty, even like Bucky himself, Nike is faceless. Bucky feels unprepared, or like he should have brought an offering.

Beside him Steve quakes before the oldest and the only god.

look my fixation with statues didn’t come from nowhere is what i’m saying ok

Sincerely, Your Pal

This fic haunts me because i hate the ending. not because it’s not good (It IS good) or because it’s not the right ending for the story (it IS the right ending for the story) but just because i h a t e i t. I just like happy endings is all, and resolutions, and this fic is why THYP will have a happy ending.

But also, I really liked the way this fic dealt with Bucky in Basic and lines like this really caught in my brain:

And of course I want to kill some Nazis I guess but not because they’re people. Not because I actually want people to die because I don’t.

And that sentiment definitely fed into how I write Bucky especially.

The Terror of Knowing

there must have been a moment by @redstarwhitestar (magdaliny’s marvel sideblog)

Listen, I’ve been trying to make sure that there’s a good spread of writers on this list but magdaliny is the exception. Magdaliny is the exception for a lot of things and there must have been a moment when we could have said no is always the first fic I think of when I think of a fic about Bucky’s time as the Soldier. Which is ironic, because it’s very much about his time after that, but that first chapter made uhhhhhhhhhhh an impression.

The fractured nature of the narrative, the way that the reader can piece together a coherent timeline but the main character can’t... that was very influential on TTOK. example:

“Kill him,” the officer says.

The subject says: “Why?”

☙

“Kill him,” the officer says.

The subject makes a mess.

☙

“Kill him cleanly,” the officer says. “Good! Good lad.”

I’ll build a house inside of you

Another magdaliny G I F T, an AU where Nat is much younger and Bucky is her dad, and if you think that didn’t affect the way I write Bucky and Nat’s relationship in THYP, then you are dreaming.

Past the praises of the handlers, above the hot wet smell of cordite and blood, Natalia can hear crashing and shouting down the hall.

“—goddamn animals, they're little girls, they're just kids, you fucking—”

Her father screams in English, in Mandarin, in Russian, and then he just screams.

I know that’s a super sad excerpt but listen and hear me when I say this fic is actually really good and wholesome and it’s got A+++ OCs and All The Widows and it’s just really good ok

Memory

Bucky is hard AF to write and very few people write him half so well as magdaliny but one of those people is emilyenrose and this fic is M A S T E R F U L. Bittersweet and achingly perfect. It contains this beautiful moment that really stuck with me, where Steve is comparing the post WS “James” to the Pre War “Bucky” and realizes...

He truly hadn't known James all that well. James hadn't let him. Hadn't wanted him to. Hadn't wanted anyone near him, ever—

—the way Bucky went, when he was miserable, when he was angry...

and that, to me, was kind of key when I went on to write the Soldier, because the Soldier IS Bucky, even when he isn’t.

Fool For Sacrifice

Dona Nobis Pacem

THIS GODDAMN FIC came to me outta FUCKING NOWHERE, I’d already written the first draft for FFS, I’d already started posting it, for crying out loud. And then all of a sudden I stumble upon THIS and i just

It’s already fading, just hours after the skirmish. And the wounds Sam stitched will heal without a mark. And the welts on Steve’s chest will disappear. Like all of it never happened.

Fuck the serum. He keeps thinking it, saying it. Maybe if there were some goddamn scars, it’d be easier to process the damage.

This fic is heavy af, it’s like the 65k word version of That Chapter in FFS Where Steve Hits Rock Bottom. This was the fic I read when I was ramping myself up to tackle That Moment

three white horses

This is the other fic I read to ramp up for That Scene, and I think that probably shows in the way I wrote it. It is also is a Strong Contender for the title of Heavyweight Fic That Convinced Me Buck Is Jewish. Honestly I cannot praise this fic enough.

I think the thing that stuck hardest about the Steve in three white horses is the way he feels ghostly himself, like he’s only drifting through the present, and somehow most of his living happens in the past. It’s very beautifully done, and very subtly done, and it’s my go to fic if I am in Dire Need of a Good Clean Crie.

It’s getting an extra long excerpt because This Is My List And Neither God Nor Man Can Stop Me.

Steve's fingers touch metal when he reaches into the second-to-last box, and he feels the blood drain out of his face even before he's looked down. He knows the feel of it too well. He'd know it blind, a hundred years from now. It's Bucky's not-a-medal.

It'd been Bucky's grandfather's, or maybe his great-grandfather's, made of the kind of sterling silver that tarnishes if you look at it funny, so Bucky had always been polishing it; he'd traded cigarettes to the mess staff for baking soda and vinegar, during the war, but the thing was still soot-black half the time, like it is now. It'd been a fool's errand, wearing a thing like that in Axis territory, but Bucky'd worn it on his chain like the rest of the guys wore their Christophers and Michaels, and HYDRA'd ignored it. It was a subtle thing, though: nothing like wearing a Magen David, or the implacable H on Bucky's tags, just a thin slice of metal with a stylized branch and an oblique squiggle Steve only knows is the Hebrew word for life because Bucky told him so.

Bucky'd had a curious mix of reverence and irreverence about it, the same mixture that seemed to colour the whole of his religious life. He'd teased Steve sometimes, saying, “No, wait, you gotta kiss it before you enter the building, you schmuck, what are you, some kinda heathen?” with his legs around Steve's waist. Bucky hadn't complained when Steve had carried on with an inch of silver between his teeth, but Steve had offhandedly called it Bucky's good luck charm once, and Bucky'd blown up; it's not a superstition, he said, it's not a fucking amulet. He'd apologized later, and he'd explained, and said it was a touchy subject, just ingrained. Jews weren't supposed to believe in luck. Bucky'd thought maybe it was the opposite: maybe luck didn't believe in Jews.

Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches

AH YES, THE FIC THAT TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIL AUDREY JOKES. SIPPY CUPS OF SUPERBOOZE! A ROBOT CALLED SHITCAN!! WHAT MORE COULD YOU NEED IN A FIC??? I really like the way it addresses Steve being in the future is all

This one could probably also fall into the list of fics that inspired DWEH, in part because of This, which stuck with me Hard and heavily influenced the opening:

“...You ever have scarlet fever?"

Sam shakes his head.

"It starts in your throat, like an itch, and as your fever starts to climb, your tongue swells up and turns white and that's when they know, really, even before the rash, that it's scarlet fever. You can't swallow, it hurts so much. You're freezing and your joints ache and your fever keeps spiking and you start to hallucinate. I, uh, I thought things were crawling on me and there were voices that I didn't recognize whispering things that didn't make any sense. My mom had to fight me just to get me to drink broth, but I threw it up most of the time, anyway. Then I got pneumonia from being so worn down from the scarlet fever and I was so lucky, Sam. Nobody seems to understand how I lucky I was to make it through. Talking to people today, to make them understand I'd have to tell them I survived bird flu only to fall sick with Ebola."

listen. For reasons I can’t fully explain, I really wanted to read that happening so i wrote it, and this is what being a writer is All About.

Actually, on a second thought, I might be able to explain it: it’s because an experience like that is Capital F Formative, and I really wanted to explore how there’s a tiny sick kid rattling around inside Captain Beefcake’s souped up bod.

(And an additional shoutout to Steve Rogers’ American Captain, a webcomic that now exists only in the Wayback Machine, but which was L O V E L Y and I sincerely hope that the artist knows that)

No Hope for the Weary

Strays

This fic? is so fluffy?? Like literally so fluffy. But this fic (and, obviously, Infinite Coffee) were very much behind the inclusion of the God Damn Starbucks, and also the source of a lot of my headcanons about Barnes & Rogers: Secret Millennials. For Example: Bucky’s Notes on How To Be A Millennial:

- Lots of coffee. Travel mugs or paper cups from Starbucks place. Often looks guilty for drinking, obv derive pleasure from doing so. Unknown as to why. Investigate further? Why is there one every two blocks if no one wants it there?

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail

This is another fandom classic that needs very little introduction. A+ characterization, A+ OCs, Utterly Charming from start to finish, and the originator of a very distinct way of talking that got very strongly coded in my brain as Winter Soldier Bucky.

He passes within 4 m of Barnes on his way back to his building. The mission imperative achieves a Doppler effect.

contactContactCONTACTContactcontact

Aw.

If They Haven’t Learned Your Name by @silentwalrus1

If I had to point to one (1) fic and say “Blame This Fic for THYP” it would be this one: the Fic that my roommate and The Gal Pal know as “The One With the USS Motherfucker.” This might seem like an odd statement, because if you’ve read them both, I don’t think you’d necessarily put them in the same class. silentwalrus is a genius of hilarity and THYP is a big pile of The Sads. ITHLYN is delightfully unassuming and I’m sometimes embarrassed by how pretentious THYP ended up being.

I would technically put this under the list of fics that heavily influenced NHFTW on account of the way it portrays Bucky going by gradual degrees from murderbot to mostly human person, but listen I could never write Cryptid!Bucky the way Silentwalrus has. It’s magnificent. And TBH the level of Intensity in ITHLYN’s Steve has is something I aspire to, and the Sam Characterization is On Point, and both those things influenced FFS, 112%. Nat’s Chaotic Slav Energy in this fic is OFF THE GODDAMN CHARTS and I LOVE IT. Every single side character, down to the spaceship is given the kind of care, attention, and characterization that just... it cannot be beat, my dudes.

16/10 highest recommendation. I could not possibly pick a single paragraph from this behemoth but uhhhhh

Two minutes in there’s a grunt and a slippery, gritty noise somewhere to her left, and then the Soldier barrels past at breakneck speed, vanishing down another tunnel. A second later Steve careens around the corner, bounces off the opposite wall and crashes away after him, so fast he’s nearly a blur. Natasha’s brain, entirely of its own accord, provides her with the utterly unhelpful accompaniment of a Yakety Sax soundtrack.

that’s it. that’s the fic.

Also, this fic is Stoutly To Blame for the playlist aspect of the hundred year playlist? Silentwalrus really got me good with Grounds for Divorce by Elbow, one of my all time favorite songs, which was then paired with one of my all time favorite chapters. By the time Caravan Palace’s Lone Digger made an appearance, I was sunk. This fic introduced me to Lyube, and gave me a new appreciation(?) for dubstep. So many of the songs ITHLYN used ended up in my Very Long Stucky Playlist, though I think the only one that then went on to become part of the Hundred Year Playlist: Upside Down and Inside Out by OK GO.

And Finally, the Coup De What The Fuck Ever:

Ain’t No Grave by @spitandvinegar

yet another fandom classic... I wasn’t sure where to put this fic, but I couldn’t NOT include it in the list. Spitandvinegar’s Steve is charming and so? Sweet? and the ANG Bucky is a delightful foulmouthed mess of a person, and the Sam/Claire pairing is something I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED, BUT I VERY MUCH NEEDED IT and I don’t know that I can point to a single thing and be like: Ah Yes, This Bit, but this is definitely one of my faves:

Imagine you live in this country, right? And there's a brutal war, and you witness and maybe participate in a horrific amount of violence, and you lose absolutely everyone you care about. Then you end up in this other country, where the culture and ways of doing things are completely foreign to you, and random assholes make fun of you for how you dress and act and talk while you're still coming to grips with the fact that everyone you love is gone and you can never go home again. Meanwhile, everyone around you is like "smile, motherfucker, you're in the Land of Plenty now, where there's a Starbucks on every corner and 500 channels on TV. You should be grateful! Why aren't you acting more grateful?" So you have to pretend to be grateful while you're dying inside. Sound like an traumatized, orphaned refugee? Also sounds like Steve fucking Rogers, Captain Goddamn America. Except that most refugees were part of a community of other people who were going through the same thing. Steve is all alone, the last damn unicorn, if the last unicorn had horrible screaming nightmares about the time when it helped to liberate Buchenwald.

Usually this explanation yields a "huh." People don't want Sad Refugee Steve: they want Captain America, Indestructible Defender of Freedom. But that doesn't mean that Sam isn't right, because he is right, goddamnit. So yeah, Sam's a little protective of Steve. And if the last unicorn finds out that its best damn unicorn friend in the whole world is actually alive, then damn straight, Sam's heading out with a tranq gun and bringing that damn unicorn in and starting a goddamn unicorn wildlife refuge in his backyard. Or something like that: at a certain point the metaphor kind of gets away from him.

Til The End of the Timeline

I’ve recced this so many times you’ve probably all gotten sick of hearing about it, but it’s an invaluable goddamn resource and you should all check it out.

A Shit Ton of Metas and Blogs, some of which are tagged with THYP Research but especially @steve-rogers-new-york and @hansbekhart‘s How To Brooklyn and @historicallyaccuratesteve

and last but certainly not least

LITERALLY EVERYTHING @quietnighty READS HOLY SHIT

If you’re looking for a common thread through all the above recs, it’s that almost all of them have podfics, and the vast majority of those podfics are by Quietnight. I am, and always have been, an audio learner. I read my writing aloud when I’m editing, I listen to audiobooks when I’m commuting, and when I’m cleaning, and when I’m playing computer games, because I like stories, and I especially like listening to stories. Quietnight’s podfics are Of The Highest Quality, and her taste in fic is Impeccable.

hooooly shit this post is long wow okay. I can’t promise I won’t add more to this later, but I’m leaving it for now because goddamn. it’s as complete as I can make it at this time. I’ve added a “THYP Fanfic Bibliography” tag in my bookmarks, and incidentally I really need to make sure I’ve gone through and kudosed all of these because goddamn.

#i don't know how to tag this #thyp research #?#fic rec #??#stucky fic rec #???

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lycanhood · 6 years

Text

Supergirl 4x06 “Call To Arms” Liveblog

SPOLIERS!!!! obviously

Oh no, what asshole trained this dog to dislike aliens? Not cool

I’m all for the team up with Manchester Black

Lena, baby, you look incredible but what are you doing? Also where is your lab coat and safety gear? Give me Lena in a lab coat, you cowards!!!!

Um what? She booked James on the show? What the fuck is she his secretary? Does she make his doctor appointments too? Pick up his dry cleaning? Wtf is this bullshit?

Aw, she still trying to cure cancer :( Sidebar: did Lionel die of cancer in this universe?

If the Colonel thinks she can stop Kara Zor-El from answering a cry for help she’s better fucking check herself. I don’t care what neighborhood it’s in

There’s a cafeteria at the DEO?!??

10/10 Harry Potter references

Good job, Brainy, you keep doing you

Oh SHIT! She actually picked up his dry cleaning????? Ooooo I’m salty

Ugh, I did not come here for this Lames drama. I DON’T CARE!

Uh I will admit tho I like when Lena goes from friend/girlfriend to Boss Ass Bitch in like 2 seconds flat. That shit is hot

I am 100% here for J’onn & Manchester’s friendship. I am 65% here for the torture of this bigot

It was definitely uncool for Lena to book that interview without telling him.

Haha two episodes in a row someone has pointed out that Lena is right almost always

Somebody get that baby a Redbull

If she had narcolepsy wouldn’t she know that it’s ya know called narcolepsy? I’m wondering if Nia is aware of her abilities and just hasn’t come to terms with them or explored them yet.

Brainy is a master of deception. I love him

A white guy in a black van? Seems legit

Question...what kinda hearts are these? And where does she get them? Are they artificial or animal hearts maybe?

Hahaha Eve: “I don’t like them that much anyway.”

What’s the treatment for narcolepsy? Medication?

YASS!! Nia for thanksgiving!!

Aw Nia and Kara are an adorable duo. I don’t stand that close to people when I give pep-talks or gently touch their hair but you know whatever. Kara’s hair does look great, as usual

Oh fuck NO UGH I’ve never been so annoyed to see Sam Witwer’s face

I would just like to point out that actual cockroaches are also living breathing beings.

It’s really hard for me to accept that this dog might be anything other than a good boy

Pointing out that there have been Alien Attacks/Invasions that have resulted in human casualties is really sort of ironic when you account for human terrorist groups and movements throughout history that have resulted in human casualties. How are hostile aliens any different?

I’m not sure how pointing out the hypocrisy of thanksgiving is really doing anything to help your cause, my man.

Yay! The Thanksgiving scene!!!! LENA IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhh! The found family keeps growing and I love it SO fucking much

Yeah Nia is definitely lying about the narcolepsy. She pulled that out of her ass to cover for her abilities

Damn, Lames is chilly on this November day

Go ahead, Lena, talk about how strong Supergirl is some more hehe

Alex: “They’d be playing God.” -> Lena internally: “But that’s my favorite game.”

There are so many geniuses in the room

Um, I’m sorry but didn’t they literally mark Jewish homes and businesses with the star of David during the Holocaust? Or right before the Holocaust. Disgusting

Right, Kara, somebody better call Supergirl *wink wink*

Oh good Lames is fighting again. This is so enjoyable. Oh and now Lena is heartbroken, even better. That was sarcasm btw Ugh, why would I want any of this?

What’s with these pop star hoodies tho?

Oh YASS Brainy, get them! Awesome to see him fight (sorta)

OH. MY. GOD. These bigoted goons are carrying actually FUCKING TIKI TORCHES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The CW is calling out neo nazis SO hard on this one . Wow

OOOOOOH SHIT! Yes SPIKE! GET THEM!!! Holy mother of god what a lizard

Kara, please don’t hurt Spike! He’s the real MVP here

“Ok, Melissa, today we need you to act like you’re holding a dragon by the tail, and you are mildly inconvenienced by it, cool?”

You were a GOOD BOY, Spike!!! A damn good boy

Omg did Kara just canon confirm that there were dragons on Krypton? We are truly blessed

She’s definitely going to disobey direct orders again.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Not a platform

Neato, Eliza’s life sounds kinda lit

I sometimes forget Alex and her mom are both Doctors. Do they bond over that? Talk about nerdy science things? I bet Lena would be interested in the inter-terrestrial genetic whatcha-ma-call-it Eliza is working on

Whoa Lena is wearing a collared shirt buttoned up all the way. A Queen

Lena, no

James, no

Lames, NOOOOO

What is James even doing in that promo? Is he acting to gain there trust? Alex is gonna be pissed when Kara gets abducted

Um, where Russian!Kara at tho? I miss her beautiful serious face and skin tight jumpsuit

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spirit-shroud · 5 years

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Do your antagonist characters tend to be more like yourself, or more like the opposite of yourself?

honestly everything i write is, in full, a piece of myself, which of course also includes the bad guys. they tend to be the parts of me that i dont like or i think could be a lot better about myself but like... with that Uncool Thing being the majority of their basis.

for example, i recognize i have some issues with attachment and getting like. overly attached / reading too deep into the habits of people and one of my bad guys that reflects that trait is Eske Rainsorrow. who, he’s had several reiterations from being a WoW character to being a playable chapter section in WT to even having a standalone story i never got around to writing more than three chapters of.

so eske, aside from being. ykno. an SK. a serial killer, which i am not one, had a lot going on, but the biggest thing he did and his defining trait as a Bad Guy is how invasive he is. He studies people really closely and seems upfront like just a worried, too-personal guy, but then again he’s the assistant to the town’s best doctor. worrying is just part of his persona. after he got an idea of people’s usual haunts and ticks he’d more or less influence (read: force) them into unhealthy social situations under the guise he knew them Very Well and it would help them in [some part of their life they needed help with] despite the fact he. really just wanted people to Need Him. some people he manipulated this way would end up killed by him and he’d magically get all their earthly belongings to help fund his extravagant lifestyle and Rhismal’s (who, he knew this was happening but decided he was safe enough to not get swept up in it), and others he’d just keep as friends or pawns for if he needed something done.

obviously, all that is Abhorrent and not how any of this manifests in me At All, but i mean, it’s pretty easy to take something as interesting and wild as post traumatic growth and people watching and make it upsetting and scary

some other examples include Mortimer from Star/Out, having issues with greed, albeit on a massive scale (as poverty is one hell of a drug), King Silvara from WT (who’s control issues spread so far he grew paranoid and wanted Nobody to be able to ursurp him), The Producer from Wheel Turn (who saw all these horrible things happening to the party and still just watched it unfold, never acting on the knowledge he had on hand) and, depending on how you view the plot of Ataraxis, Coda falls under this category (though their issue is just. they’re a nebulous, robotic cloud of my chronic illnesses/disabilities)

tldr, my antagonists are always pieces of me, just in a twisted, much more direct form than how i actually experience these things

#kc takes questions #ill gladly talk about all the writing things i mentioned in here also bc i dont remember if i ever talked abt Wheel Turn or much about Rhis

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thexfilescully · 5 years

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The Silence of the Lambs, It, The Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the Thirteenth, Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Ring, Saw, Scream, Dr. Giggles, The Amityville Horror, Silent Hill, The Conjuring, Insidious, Cooties, The Babadook, Annabelle, Black Christmas, Hellraiser, Silent Night, Bloody Night, Children of the Corn, Carrie, Cloverfield, Halloween, The Haunting, Paranormal Activity, Evil Dead, The Exorcist. [ ♡♡♡ ]

Oh wow!! Thank you so much for asking!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[The Silence of the Lambs: What was something that you used to be afraid of that you aren’t afraid of anymore?] Bridges! I used to have nightmares where my mom drove off a bridge and died (which was very not cool)

[It: What do you believe in?] If this means religion, then I’m a norse pagan! If it’s supernatural things in general; I do believe in fairies, ghosts, etc.

[The Nightmare on Elm Street: Have you ever had problems sleeping? Any nightmares?] Yea, I can’t sleep probably when it’s warm outside. As for nightmares, sometimes yes, usually something about insects coming out of my body. (Very uncool, brain.)

[Friday the Thirteenth: What would you do for those you love?] I really don’t know hjkgkjdfghjdf

[Psycho: What was your childhood like?] It was okay, I mostly remember playing with my toys by myself and talking to myself. School was hell, but that’s nothing new lol.

[Texas Chainsaw Massacre: If you could go into the past and change anything, what would you change?] I wouldn’t change anything, since I believe that the outcome of the thing you changed would be way worse.

[The Ring: What’s your favorite tv show? What do you think about the effect of media on people?] Probably Vikings (Only the first 2 seasons) and Peaky Blinders. Media can and does effect people, in good and bad ways alike. (insert essay here)

[Saw: If you were given only one week to live, how would you spend it?] Oof I’d love to travel to Ireland and then stay in a little cottage here and die alone hgjkdfhgjkfdgf

[Scream: Are you excited for the future?] Absolutely not, I really don’t want to work lmao but here’s to hoping we will all be fine!

[Dr. Giggles: If you had to lose a body part, which one would you choose and why?] My feet and/or legs. Because feet are disgusting and I have a phobia of them hjdskhfjds

[The Amityville Horror: Why do you like your favorite book as much as you do?] Hmm. My favourite books are The Witcher series and Heartless by Marissa Meyer. I suppose the worldbuilding and characters in the Witcher just feel very real to me? As for Heartless, I love suffering and Alice in Wonderland, soooo (also the writing in both are excellent)

[Silent Hill: If you could go anywhere without worrying about money, where would you go? Where are some places that reality feels distorted for you?] OOO definitely Ireland (I just wanna go there okay hjdshjgks). Oh this one’s fun, autobahn at night, parking lots at night, just anywhere in my ugly german town at night.

[The Conjuring: If you could learn any new skill, what would you learn?] Embroidery or something other handcrafty!!

[Insidious: When you were a child, what job did you want when you got older? What job do you have now? Do you like it? Why or why not? If you could have any job, what would it be?] I wanted to be a paleontologist from age 3 to like 12??? I don’t have a job rn, but we’re gonna have some rehab interviews soon! I would love to be an author though jkfghdjkf

[Cooties: How well do you protect against germs? Do you get sick often?] I don’t really hgjkdfhgjd, I do get colds a lot, which is annoying.

[The Babadook: What is something keeping you from truly being happy?] Capitalism!

[Annabelle: What did you do for fun as a child?] Playing Uno against myself.

[Black Christmas: What’s your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite? What are some good memories you have with it?] HALLOWEEEEEN!!! It’s just great, I get to watch horror movies without feeling weird!! I get to tell people about the actual history of it!!! (people being: my mom). I watch all my fave horror films every year through the night, which is great!

[Hellraiser: Are some lives worth more than others?] Not really

[Silent Night, Bloody Night: What’s your least favorite holiday? Why is it your least favorite?] I hate Easter a lot hgjkhgjfkd It’s just christian nonsense (that they stole but whatever).

[Children of the Corn: Do you believe in a higher power?] I believe in Norse gods, but I don’t really think of them as higher powers? They’re just friendly dudes that don’t really have any actual power in MIdgard. (Odin, if you’re listening, don’t kill me for this hgjfkdghjkdf)

[Carrie: Have you ever been told something you didn’t want to be/gotten news you didn’t want to?] I don’t really know, I guess every time my mother tells me about dead babies and animals jklsjgdsfs

[Cloverfield: If you were in the zombie apocalypse/alien invasion, would you hide, and if so, where would you hide? What group of people would you want with you through this?] I honestly don’t know if I would hide, I think I’d try to kill some zombies and talk to aliens hjkhjdfsjkgds Also since I don’t have any friends irl I would try to stay in contact with my tumblr friends

[Halloween: What is your favorite thing to wear (example: jacket, hat, gloves, a specific shirt)] When it’s cold outside: leggings, black skirt, tank top + crop sweater (that says “witch” on it). When it’s warm and I’m sweating my tiddies off (like right now): blue skirt (or the black one, depends on my mood), white shirt, and white sneakers.

[The Haunting: Have you ever been convinced that your house is haunted or that a ghost or other villain was after you?] I do think there is 1 ghost in my room that steals my water bottles and other tiny things. (Or maybe it’s a fairy. I don’t know.)

[Paranormal Activity: Do you believe in the supernatural?] Yes!

[Evil Dead: Who is someone you look up to and why?] I don’t look up to anyone specifically? So, idk

[The Exorcist: What’s your relationship with your parents?] Me and my dad are kinda distant, because I’m too awkward to talk to him and he’s too stupid. Me and my mom are cool with each other, unless we talk about politics, soooo

#ronan.ask #sunny-adorkable #long post

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friend-o-dorothy · 5 years

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i hope this isn’t too weird or invasive (feel free to delete if you don’t want to answer) but i read smth where you said you were in a sorority and i wondered how that experience was for you. i’m considering rushing my first year of college, but i’m a lesbian and a rad-leaning feminist, and i’m concerned the environment will be unfriendly to me.

Not invasive at all. I can say the experience was incredible for me. My sorority sisters were the first people I came out to, actually! And many of them helped me navigate my feelings about sexuality and feminism. That being said, like most things, it varies drastically based on the Greek community at your school. I was never hazed or belittled or pressured into activities I didn’t want to do.

Rather I started off college with 50 new, female friends, a really cool service project that we did every year that made me feel fulfilled and good about myself, regular activities to keep me from feeling lonely, academic support, and people to protect me in risky settings like parties. But I know my experience isn’t the same as everyone’s.

I’d suggest rushing! And be aware that the first several nights of rush are going to feel really superficial, because they don’t have much time to get to know you. After nights like that they mostly make cuts on things like grades, not your interactions with them.

Just trust your instincts. If you feel like you’re being subjected to something uncool walk the fuck out and shut them down by reporting it. If there’s too much focus on “looking classy” (code for wear makeup or else), or pressure to engage with fraternities (institutions that are pretty inherntly bad) never be afraid to leave. It’s never too late. But sororities—done right—can absolutely be feminist institutions. If the focus is on sisterhood, support, service, and academics like they’re supposed to be.

#greek life #asks #anon #anonymous

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upslapmeal · 6 years

Text

Arachnids in the UK

I really should stop leaving these reviews so late that I forget what my notes I made while I was watching were talking about huh

I can’t believe next ep we’ll be halfway through? only having 10 eps does definitely mean we lose something

I know RTD’s stuff only had 9/10 stories per series but having more eps just gave some of them more room

and gave us more time with the characters

which we definitely need since there are so many of them this time

I don’t think having three companions is necessarily the best in terms of room for development but I do love their dynamic and it does allow for more splitting up and everyone doing their own thing (Rosa did that best)

ok I’ve seen lots of responses to this ep ranging from terrible to too political (but like. badly unlike Rosa) to educational (about spiders?? I guess?) to scary

def sth to be said for all the points but idk I just.....I just thought it was fun

it wasn’t an ep that wanted you to have to think which was perfect to follow Rosa with

I know lots didn’t make sense but it’s the kind of not making sense that is fine you just ignore it and have a good time

(except one thing but I’ll get to that later)

I know I saw someone (? several people maybe?) say it was series 11′s Victory of the Daleks but for me it was more.......its Robot of Sherwood

like I just found a lot of it funny

after The Ghost Monument I said I was still waiting for eps that either dealt with difficult stuff or that just had good fun with the kind of ridiculousness this show allows for

and honestly Rosa and Arachnids gave me both of these

ok right

the episode

the time vortex!! it looked so cool

like somewhere you could genuinely get lost

it’s fun getting to see scenes I recognise from from dwsr especially bc there was so little dwsr this year

BUMBAG

(also do all the the people calling it a fanny pack....do they Know?)

tea at Yaz’s

I love the ~getting to know the family~ vibe

plus it’s good having Yaz be more central again

‘I don't think so’ felt as though Thirteen was like ‘I can see you but I feel like that wasn't what she meant’

she wants a SOFA

(genuinely though her tardis needs somewhere to sit)

v relatable failure with small talk

Graham going back to the house :(((

you just want to give him a massive hug

Grace :((((((

Chibbs is really good at emotional character stuff I know I’ve said it before but it’s def better than his Actual Scifi Writing

RYAN’S SHADOW PUPPETS

‘hey 👍🏻 you're that bloke’

I get that people complained about Trump-lite being a caricature but it wasn’t the ep for subtle and nuanced side characters

it was the ep for Businessmen That Don’t Care Bad

surprised they actually mentioned Trump though

ED SHEERAN

Thirteen was v unimpressed

that bit where you can see a spider scuttling down the corridor and hear Graham say ‘I don't like this'? yeah for a moment I thought it was like....a voiceover with the spider’s thoughts

Twelve approves of Thirteen calling people dude

THE MUSIC

RYAN’S EXCITED FACE

‘you’re so uncool right now’

‘I can't believe they're actually moving towards that music’ lmao I feel ya Graham grime is not my thing

ok here’s the thing though

all those massive spiders trapped in a fairly small room seems like a pretty horrific fate

especially since they’ll just keep on growing

are they just going to be left there??

even if they were taken to another planet or sth they’d just keep growing until they couldn’t breathe like the ballroom spider

I hate to side with Trump-lite (and I know this wasn’t his reasoning) but a quick and painless death is much better than suffocation

never expected to feel sad about a massive spider so that’s something

whatshisname shooting the spider kinda gave me Christmas Invasion Harriet Jones vibes

I loved that they all came together to decide they wanted to carry on travelling

Graham wanting to be a different person when he comes back :(

hate to single out the white guy from that cast but Bradley’s really good

now that we’ve had the ‘it will be dangerous’ talk hopefully we can get Dangerous Situations with Genuinely High Stakes

Thirteen: I can’t guarantee you’ll be safe description for the next episode: ‘injured and stranded.....’

#thirteenth doctor #doctor who #arachnids in the uk #ramblings

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freekymonstr · 2 years

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If this is a topic you are not comfortable answering for I will totally understand, and I don’t want to cause a trigger for anyone else who might read it either. If you are alright with doing an ask on this: How would the droids be with self harm?

————-

I have a very unhealthy perspective on making mistakes, and I feel the need to punish myself for inconveniencing people. I don’t have the guts to actually c/ut myself, but I do mark up my wrist with scratches from my thumbnail - I’m actively working on this compulsion with someone I trust, and hope it’s something I one day don’t feel the urge to do. :)

Before I start I want to say I'm proud of you for working towards healing and finding someone you trust to help with this process. It'll be a long one and sometimes difficult, but it's more than possible.

Don't get discouraged if, after you feel you've healed, you have the urge or end up doing it again. Healing isn't linear and while it may seem like you ruined your hard work from the past, please believe me that you didn't. I only say this because I've seen too many people give up when they were so, so close to making it through. One tiny setback does not negate everything you've done prior, please remember this.

You will come out of this feeling alive in a new way and the world will look and feel much different. It doesn't seem like something that will have such a drastic change in your life, but it does. Everything will be a little brighter, the grass a little greener, the sky a little bluer. I'm excited. I can't for you to get there <3

Since this post is already getting a bit long (sorry) I'll go ahead and put the droid stuff under a read more

Alpha would find it counterproductive no matter the severity. Humans couldn't just be fixed like robots can. Why cause yourself harm over a simple mistake? But he'd come to realize that maybe you two weren't so different. Rather, maybe robots; who he'd previously held to be superior to humans; weren't so different from their creators. The apple never falls far from the tree. Alpha found his own hypocrisy laughable as someone who essentially did the same thing to himself over mistakes and failures, or took his grievances out on the others. The various scars or marks from previous injuries were still visible on his synthetic skin. "This isn't healthy," he'd grumble, but he would still take you to the bathroom to put medicine on it. He may argue that it was simply to prevent any possibility of infection as that could get bad very quick and he didn't want to deal with it. If he were to really think about it though he was yet again closing the distance between the human race and himself. "If you feel a need to do this again in the future, for whatever idiotic reason, come find me instead."

Beta knew what that felt like. He knew the anger and disappointment in yourself at any failure or mistake. They knew the feeling of knowing nothing else to do except take it out on yourself. Alpha never helped but he didn't blame him. He struggled with his own problems as well. Beta would take you to get it cleaned up, quiet and gentle as ever, until finally he'd ask, "Do you have anything else you could do instead?" If you didn't know, or maybe hadn't thought about it, they would do their best to offer solutions. "If you're at home you could hit a pillow instead, or maybe keep a little toy with you? We have lots of things around here that several of us use to destress. Let's go find one you like to keep with you."

The first time Bing saw any semblance of an injury he'd be anxious, main goal to fix you up, but secondary being finding out what had happened. "Did you do this to yourself?" They'd ask, analyzing the wounds while cleaning them. Certainly inflicted by a human being, angle and trajectory indicating by the self. "Sorry. That was, like, a really invasive and uncool thing to ask." His otherwise silence was uncharacteristic, deep in thought, clearly worried over you. "If you ever need to talk or anything or just, like, I don't know- get the energy out- I'm always here, bro. Just shoot me a message or come find me, okay? I don't wanna see you hurting, even if it's up here," he'd give a small smile and poke you in the forehead.

Upsilon, like Beta, was well aware the self hatred an individual was capable of. Always holding himself to a standard impossibly high, even for a robot, he took his shortcomings harshly. It was normal for him to be quiet, but this wouldn't be the comfortable silence you were used to as he cleaned up the wounds. When all was said and done he'd lean back in his chair. "This is a common occurance, I assume?" He'd ask. His irritation would not be out of malice, but that he hadn't realized sooner how you felt and that you were struggling. "Just... Be careful, please." As you'd be leaving, he'd get your attention. "And next time you feel the need to do something like that, come to me instead."

Delta would worry about you often, especially if he noticed you were feeling a bit off that day. There weren't many things he felt he could do to help other than be there for you, so he tried his best to do so. "I know you probably don't like this. I'm not exactly happy about it either." He'd say after finding out. "I don't mean that I'm, like, mad at you or anything. I'm just," a sigh. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help. But... From now on you let me know, okay? We'll go do something, or if you want we can just chill at the house together."

Gamma would be quick to notice when something's wrong, whether it's a difference in the way you're standing or carry yourself, or even subtly covering or touching what had been done. "Lemme see," he'd demand and hold his hand out. She wouldn't act like it was a big deal, no need to make you feel any worse about it than you probably already did. "Okay, let's get you cleaned up." It would be quick but careful, and topped off with a colorful bandaid should it be needed. "You wanna go get some ice cream or something? Ooh, or Starbucks. Or... Anything, actually. Let's just go somewhere."

#asks #anon #oc: droids #gamma or beta would probably be the best in this situation #gamma especially because of her purpose #at least imo bc i prefer ppl being nonchalant about it and not acting like im gonna explode 💀

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