#that’s what’s goin thru my mind rn..

[jrwiyuri]

"net zero information gained" is actually a phrase that can be used to describe literally all of johnny's sections in house of leaves. tell me nothing king!! and what you do tell me is graphic descriptions of vaginas or blatant lies!!

YEAHHHH!!! New favorite guy ever unlocked!!

[brighttears]

Dusk

Joel Miller x f!reader

No physical description, no use of y/n 

Summary:  Not long after you, Joel and Ellie arrive in Jackson. You and Joel are instantly drawn to each other, not able to get the other off your minds before you’ve even spoken.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: mentions of drinking

A/n: my brain is soggy rn but here is the first chapter idec if it flops the second chapter is almost done i am seeing this one thru i have like a whole document for planning shit. this will be a slow burn btw

—

“these hands that kill, these hands that slaughter the marrow of life, these hands which are capable of so much tenderness, which is where love lies, i do not know how to contain these contradictions, within you, within us”

—

You don’t smile, don’t move your face at all, just kind of… observe him, head cocked, half hiding behind a post about thirty feet away from him in the Tipsy Bison. Usually, Joel would glare his glariest glare and it’d do the trick, but you don’t look like you’d even be phased, and you’re also making him nervous and self conscious and all he can think is don’t blush don’t blush don’t blush don’t blush. Not knowing how to handle this, Joel folds his arms, glances at you and then away, at the floor, clears his throat, shifts, and looks back up and past you as if he doesn't notice you at all. It’s a little creepy, but your shameless intensity intrigues him more than anything has in a long time. Also, you are fucking stunning. Joel tries to subtly puff his chest but then decides against it halfway through. In his peripheral, he may have seen the corner of your lip curl. When he turns to look, he only catches you eyeing him one more time as you turn and walk somewhere behind him, past the corner he leans against. He catches himself before rubbernecking and instead lets you disappear. 

Then Tommy comes up from the other side of him, startling Joel so much that he flinches and almost chokes. “God damn it, Tommy.”

His brother only laughs, nudging him with a knuckle in his shoulder. “Am I goin’ crazy or did that chick over there just make you blush?”

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Joel grumbles, looking around to see who else may have caught him.

“Ah, come on. It’s cute.”

“Shut the fuck up Tommy.” he grumbles tongue-in-cheek, nudging his brother back. “Fuck do you want, anyway?” he smirks.

“Well, I came over to ask if you wanted a drink, but I can tell you her name if you want.”

“Whose name?” Joel very poorly feigns obliviousness and it makes Tommy laugh.

“Aw, come on. Look… I know you haven’t been here long, but,” he cocks his head until Joel looks back at him, “you can relax, you know,” he chuckles, but Joel isn’t amused. Tommy has had this talk with him a few times now and he does not like hearing it. ‘Relax’ sounds like such a ridiculous suggestion. When he’s mulled it over after past conversations, he only becomes more frustrated by the contradiction of his heart and gut—the pull of desire towards the concept of relaxation and the alarms going off at the same time. Joel has always felt intensely and it jabs at him as Tommy speaks. “I mean, we’ve got a bar, Joel, you can ask her out.” 

So that’s what he’s been getting at this time. Joel scoffs overdramatically. 

“Well, when Maria finds out about this she will be settin’ you up with her.” Tommy smirks.

“You will not tell Maria.” Joel snaps quietly, turning his body towards a still wildly smirking Tommy. He quickly tries to correct himself, “There’s nothin’ to tell.” but Tommy ignores it.

“Hey,” he shrugs his shoulders, “who says I’m tellin’ her? If she finds out she finds out.”

“Tommy, I swear to god…” Tommy cackles, Joel shakes his head and lets himself chuckle. Then Tommy leans on the wall next to his brother and they just appreciate each other's company. 

After a few moments of silence, Joel asks, trying to keep his voice casual, “What—what’d you say her name was again?” 

Tommy laughs again, “You’re just gonna have to go ask her yourself.” Joel gives him a mostly fake glare. “Aw, come on. Lemme pour ya’a drink, loverboy.”

“Loverboy?” Joel follows his brother to the bar.

—

A couple hours later, Joel sits at the edge of his bed, elbows resting on spread out knees, eyes closed and face resting on clasped hands like he’s praying. He’s more cursing himself though, trying desperately to tug at the flap that will roll the projector screen back up where images of you flick over it on a loop. 

He’s seen you a few times but has yet to make actual eye contact with you for more than two seconds. 

The first time he saw you you were eating alone at dinner, all the way across the room from him in the Bison. He stole glances, which was more like a diet stare, until you caught him. When he dared look back up, you were staring back at him while chewing. He did not look up from his plate again that night.

The next time he saw you you were on horseback, squinting against the sunset as you rode in from a patrol shift. Your rolling hips popped into his head and spooked him several times the next day. He definitely did not let the film roll at night. 

The last time he’d seen you before today you had caught him staring again at breakfast. After counting to ten, he looked back up, but you hadn’t looked away, barely containing a laugh with food in your mouth. Were you laughing at him? At the fact that he couldn’t stop looking at you? Were you making fun of him inside your head? It made Joel blush and he once again became very interested in the food on his plate for the rest of the meal. 

You are annoying the fuck out of Joel because you make him fucking blush, his mind wanders to you far too often throughout the day, and he is too fucking nervous to talk to you. He feels juvenile. He considers asking Maria to either put him on a shift with you or never put him on shift with you, but either way he’d be letting the cat out of the bag and she would never let it go, and then Ellie would find out and would never let him hear the end of it. 

It was in that moment, realizing he was just at the edge of losing sleep over you, that Joel knew he was fucked. 

— 

Before Joel and his little friend Ellie, you were the newest person to Jackson by far. Meaning, everyone was already all settled in and it left you feeling distanced and insecure. You still jump at every noise, hunch over your plate as if to protect from someone snatching it from under you, and are in general not very hospitable. It isn’t really anything against anyone, mostly just habits you’ve picked up from the road. The people here are nice, but that isn’t comforting these days; it can be more frightening than someone who’s upfront about being malicious because at least then you know what to expect. Arriving here, you didn't know what fuck was going on. You are so far removed. Some nights you pack up all of your belongings and consider taking a horse and bolting, but when you start thinking about where you’d go, you understand again why you hadn’t done it last time. It’s a bit nerve wracking here, but out there is walking around in a nightmare. 

Maria was the one who’d vouched for you when she and the rest of the horseback crew found you lying in the snow not far away from their settlement. You had collapsed from exhaustion, malnourished and lucky you still had all your toes when you woke up. You’re also lucky that they didn’t kick you right back out when you did wake up, since you’d basically trashed one of the rooms in their mini hospital in a wild panic. Despite that, Maria took a liking to you; she told you she liked your spirit and how gentle you were when some of the kids ran up to you—the shiny new toy—later that day while you were eating your first actual meal in the Bison. She and Tommy basically weaseled their way in from there and remain your only real friends, which you like. 

You saw Joel and Ellie ride in a couple months later and as soon as you got Tommy and Maria alone you questioned them about why they liked these two so much. Tommy told you that Joel is his brother who had come all the way from Boston to find him, having taken care of this kid, Ellie, the whole way there. You were impressed and wildly intrigued. 

What makes them stand out in your mind more is that you saw yourself in their eyes when they first rode into town—more than anything it was bewilderment. Because of this, no matter how curious, you know you’ll have to wait for them, like stray cats, to come up to you first. 

Ellie barely registered you though and you didn’t think Joel did either until you caught him staring. It was threatening until you noticed he was blushing. Then, it was fun, because you were making the big tough pretty boy blush without even smiling at him. 

You happened to be cleaning your saddle one day at the stables when Joel walked in with Tommy to grab horses for patrol. They weren’t having any kind of private conversation, just talking about the weather really, so you indulged yourself by inching a little closer to the doorframe to get a listen of his voice. Gruff, twanged, sweet. Tommy made him belly laugh, and that was the moment you knew you were fucked. 

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman (cont.)

im gonna make another post bc i have a feeling im close to hitting the text limit on my other one but we're still on the first movie!! im gonna try and get thru this movie soon bc i HAVE to get to the second ones before my demons get me

okay where we are rn ben just died and peters in his evil era tryin to find the guy who did it

like hes just goin up to random dudes and beating them up bc he thinks its The Guy when its not

and every time i watch this movie i forget if they find him or if the plot point is abandoned bc peter has bigger problems by then KJGSHLKGJHSKH guess we'll remember together

peter falls thru a roof and these guys just let him go. like they leave him there. to be fair what were they supposed to do but still.

this is where we get the inspo to make a suit!! he sees a wrestling poster and is like "that could be me =D"

agh i wanna look like him so BAD bro i wish that were me

shoutout to him STEALING FROM OSCORP to make his web fluid thats so funny

this handstand moment is apparently judged by a lot of fans as him becoming spiderman but theyre SO wrong that doesnt happen until later in the film in my opinion

like thats just my opinion but other ppl can be wrong ig /lh

also how did he get this police radio. how do any of the spidermans get their radios. did they take them from officers. can u buy them. whats goin on here.

omggggg its captain stacyyyyy he'll be important later

like. incredibly important. GKJHSGKJSHGKJ we'll get to him in a minute.

"spandex.....spandex.......everything.......spandex......" i love peter so much

HE'S MAKIN THE SUITTTTT HES GOT THE SUIT NOW!!!!! THE SUIT OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!

i love this suit sooooo much its so textured and i love the logo its so fun

this car thief scene is rlly the scene of all time i love it

so many good peter lines from this scene

"seriously? u rlly think im a cop? a cop in a skin tight red and blue suit? yknow, u have got the mind of a true scholar, sir" PETER PLEASE BE NORMAL

this head tilt. the peter head tilt. in this context its kinda menacing but hes so me coded bc i also do the head tilt thing KHGSKJDHGKJ

the first time i saw this scene and for a while after i thought he told the cop "i just TOOK 80% of ur job" after he took the gun but he actually says "i just DID 80% of ur job" bc he webbed the criminal and i was so disappointed bc i rlly thought he was making a solid dig at the police force but hes just being petty KJGHSKJGHKSJ

ugh him talking to may here makes me sooooo sad. "u dont have to wait up for me, yknow" "yes i do" SHE LOVES HER NEPHEW PLEASEEEE

shes so worried for her nephew. seeing him hurt just destroys her. this boy is all she has. she lost her husband, her brother, her sister in law, and seeing her nephew come home at god knows what time just beat up and wounded must be so heartwrenching and she cant do anything bc he wont talk to her. i love tasm may shes so interesting.

"aunt may please, please go to sleep." "i cant sleep! dont u understand? i cant sleep! peter, listen to me. secrets have a cost, theyre not for free. not now, not ever." SOOOOO TRUE QUEEN. I SENSE A THEME.

AND THEN HE JUST WALKS OFF. LEAVES HER THERE. AJHGJSKGJAGFSJHF

oh yeah they're pushing curt to start human trials when they cure isnt ready, oscorp is so incredibly corrupt and its done so well in both films

"people die. even norman osborn." AKJGHKJSAGH SOOOOOO TRUE. YES. I HATE NORMAN SO MUCH.

also sorry for just quoting this movie so much it has so many good lines that i could talk about for the rest of my life

oh yeahhhhh this guy wants to start human trials??? at the veterans hospital?????

ugh theyre talking about plot that we dont learn until like the second film so its not important yet but its such a cool thing later on

PETER AND GWENNNNN I LOVE THEM

she really cares about him and it makes me so happy

shes inviting him to dinner!!!! with her family!!!!! its a family hes never met eating a meal hes never heard of but still its with the girl he really likes so hes gonna just deal with it and show up anyway

ugh normans doing things /neg

hes doing human trials. on himself. lets see how this goes HGKJSDHGKJL

oh hi peter. dinner date time.

he brought gwens mother flowers???? KWHGKSJGHSKJHGK theyre a little messed up bc they were in his bag while he was swinging but still!!! he brought flowers for this girls mom hes so sweet

"you must be peter" "dad this is. peter." thank u gwen

oh yeah i failed to mention that the captain of the police department is gwens dad if u didnt catch that from his last name

curt has his arm back!!! the cure worked!!!! hoping and praying that nothing bad happens and he just gets to live a normal life and be happy from now on

he has to go catch the one guy that i forgot the name of (edit its dr ratha) from going to the veteran hospital but the cure is backfiring so hes like. goin thru it. lizard moment.

anyway peter cant cut fish corrcctly

hes never had a fancy meal like this!! hes a little dumb!!!

uh ohhhh theyre talking about spidermannnnn yikes

this is what it feels like to talk politics with relatives

"if i wanted the car thief off the street, he wouldve been off the street" "so why wasnt he then?" PETER. CHILL. UR TRYING TO DATE HIS DAUGHTER PLS BE NICE

"its called strategy, im sure ur aware of the term strategy? maybe u learned about that in school?" MR STACY U ARE ALSO NOT HELPINGGGG

"i think he stands for what u stand for, sir. protecting innocent people from bad guys." banger line right there skajfhksjd

peter still apologized and said that he didnt mean to insult mr stacy but still ksajdfhkjsd cmon peter be nice

BIG PLOT HOLE HERE. peter webs gwen and pulls her closer and she goes "youre spiderman?" before he kisses her. HE HASNT GOTTEN THAT NAME YET. NO ONES CALLING HIM SPIDERMAN YET. WHERE DID SHE GET THAT.

ugh it gets me every time like where did that come frommmm

peter pulling away completely and turning around when her mother catches them is so funny hes trying to be respectful

uh oh crime time

HE JUST JUMPS OFF THE ROOF. BYE.

so yeah curt connors is now a giant lizard monster thing trying to find dr ratha and?? kill him???? okay yeah kill him he just threw his car off the bridge

peter has this moment of either going after lizard or helping save this mans son and he goes to save the kid and i love peter so much

hes also very very good with kids. he convinces this little boy that his mask has special powers to help the kid get out of the car safe and its so sweet

like this kid is terrified and honestly so is peter but hes staying calm and convincing this kid that this mask will make him stronger so he can save him. THIS is the moment i was talking about. this is when peter becomes spiderman.

the moment he gave that kid back to his father alive and safe is when he became a superhero. thats also when he coins the name. but this exact moment is what made him into the actual hero rather than just having the name. he gets home and he stares at his mask bc now he knows he has an immense responsibility to save peoples lives and keep them safe.

i love this movie

oh yeah mr stacy issued an arrest warrant for spiderman after the bridge attack thats so silly of him.

more petergwen lets goooo

"does it scare you? what you can do?" "no." "...youve got to lay low." "no, cant do that." "youve got to. i mean, why?" "because of last night. those people on the bridge. whatever was attacking them wouldve killed them. so i gotta go after it." "thats not your job." "maybe it is." SUCHHHHH A GOOD CONVERSATION. UGH.

OKAY IM GONNA. LEAVE THIS ONE HERE. ive finally got motivation so im gonna keep it going in a reblog like right away but im gonna stop this post here before it gets too long skjhfksjd

[de-jaku]

DEJA'S RULES !

COME CLEAN OFF MY PAGE if you're homophobic, transphobic, sexist 'n misogynistic, a zionist or just a general weirdo. especially if you show any anti-blackness of any kind.

in terms of gender, my default would either be a fem reader or afab reader. mostly fem because that is my comfort zone at this point in time. not to say that i am uncomfortable with writing for a male audience, but it is just not my style and i write what i prefer. do not take this personally, it is not aimed.

for the love of god, this is a drama-free zone. i don't really wanna be having any discourse on a blog that's supposed to be fun and lighthearted. so try to keep things chill please.

when requesting pls specify what you would like me to write for you. stating your ideal character and kink or prompt is okay, but it's easier if you gave a brief description of your request. if it's too vague i might not even write it—the chances of me misunderstanding you are high. also—if I don't write your request, please don't take it to heart, I'm a self-indulgent writer.

i write when I feel like it or when I have something that's burning in my mind. i may not even have the time, since i am a student.

i write

fluff

angst rarely, since i like peace 😭

and smut predominantly

matter of fact let's just talk about this since we on the topic.

the reason I write smut at this age is because of the immense increase in desire im going thru rn. all throughout my adolescence ive been experiencing these things but never actually doing anything about it. so in my personal opinion, i've reached an appropriate age to openly talk & write about these things

where i live, im at the legal age of consent anyways

+ SOO many people around my age are already sleeping with people and goin off doin they own thing and thats fine, that's what they wanna do. but personally, 'tis a scary world we live in ladies and gentlemen and not everybody has good intentions.

hope that made sense, that literally looks like word vomit lmfao

BUT ANYWAY— heres stuff i will write

breeding,

overstim

sub!char

dom!char

wlw

some food play

poly (ill only ever write mlm when reader is involved)

age gap (both gotta be legal)

milf n dilf reader/char (again, both must be legal)

somno

dacry

LIGHT blood play (menstruation included.)

anal

will most likely add more

aaaand stuff i won't.

any under age characters

alpha and omegaverse

scat

piss

watersports

non-con and anything where the lines of consent are blurred. consent isn't just hot, it's fucking mandatory??

incest

yandere anything just no

daddy kink

again, I will probably add to this list if something bamboozles me, but if unsure about anything or if you wanna request/thirst something that's not on the list, please ask me.

[chelzone]

PNGtuber Video Plans (12/09/22)

i need to get on myself an plan out stuff more for the future set of videos, as well as think about what's goin on currently so ummmm

im still in the middle of my Night in the Woods playthru rn. later tonight ill record part 12, an i think i still have like,, at LEAST six or seven more recordings to get thru before the game is finished proper,,

next main game (most likely mid-to-late December) ill be recording for daily is either gonna be Dear Esther (if i want a lighter experience) or Kentucky Route Zero (if i feel insane and wanna go all in). like 3-4 days ago i fixed recording issues with both so either is possible now thankfully. ive played the former in full before but its been yeaaaars. ive played thru act 3 for the latter, and thats ALSO been many years since then

HL2 beta map exploration will still continue, as next time i will go thru the 2nd half of non-story-focused maps set during the early 2001 era. expect that part 5 video later this month, as i like to space out videos focusing on this 'series'.

Garry's Mod map stuff will continue but im unsure if i wanna do a generic themed one SOON or if i wanna wait til its closer to xmas and do the xmas / winter-themed maps then. i could do both! just need to see how im feeling. there's a bundle of themes i have downloaded currently so im prepared either way

there's still more HL1 mods i wanna play thru over the next year or so. these currently include Half-Life Echoes, USS Darkstar, TWHL 2, Residual Life, and uhhh im blanking on the others i may or may not have installed. that's only a small bit of great half life mods at that!

i really really still wanna play The Nameless Mod someday in my videos (a deus ex mod) but im still iffy if i wanna play the original release (was from like 2009 or so) OR still wait for the team to finish the 2.0 version in the coming years (later 2020s upcoming release)

Deltarune playthru might be on hold for a long time. while i COULD play chap 1 an 2 in the meantime, idk im feeling more so that i wanna wait for the eventual full release of the game later this decade

my mind is yelling at me to work on writing now so that's it for planning an shit for the moment. there's a lotta other games ive got downloaded from itchio and steam that i havent mentioned yet in these posts, so sorta maybe expect surprises in the coming months an what have u!

[karmaphone]

hey this is a reminder that conditions other than ad(h)d get rejection sensitive dysphoria

[hualicn]

*

[the-closested-bisexual-himbo]

Been neglecting this acct for posting lately sorry! But I got an idea today as I’m stuck baby sitting my three nephews and they don’t have an ac and it got to the 90s aaand my middle nephew has a habit of taking screens off so we had to child lock all the windows so they were barley open an inch.

My point being. I got inspired in my heat induced crashes thru the day and one of rn as they’re finally are all asleep and I’m sitting on the couch dying (I opened their windows once they fell asleep) but I got the idea..

Okay so it’s for Billy being a prideful little fucker, he gets kicked out of Neils in a heated argument when he finds some mags he was hiding that were gay. “Shouldn’t have been goin thru my room in the first place”-

“This is MY room MY house- blah blah blah- DONT LIKE IT LEAVE F-“

“Fine.”

And he does buuut it’s close to summer aaaand he didn’t have money saved up so maybe he has no place to sleep but his car and then the dead of Summer comes and he ends up with heat stroke or something around Steve and because Steve’s a trained lifeguard too, of course he knows proper measures and takes them. Helps him out, to which Billy is grateful but embarrassed about.

“Musta jus been low blood sugar or somethin.. mixed with the heat”

“Low blood sugar?.. if you have issues with that sort of thing you should keep something on you-“

“Ugh- no, I don’t- I just- well- never mind, thanks”

“Well then, what do you mean”

“Forget it, I don’t wanna get into it all, and of all people, with you. I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day”

“How is getting heat stroke embarrassing- or low blood sugar for that matter” Steve laughs

Billy hums, “iwknow.. just is.”

“Well, it shouldn’t be..” Steve adds not knowing what to say (was he trying to comfort Billy, even?..)

Billy only swallows, awkwardly, sighing, still lost to the heat, feeling sleepy, too much so to feel anything else as he lets his head just rest to the side on the head rest. Looking up to Steve.

“Come on, man.. what’s up? You good?” Steve asks, a little concerned, cause Billy still wasn’t lookin great.

Billy thinks for a moment, or, well, pauses as his head thrums, before he sighs again. “Got kicked out. Haven’t had enough money for gas let alone food or a motel for some damn ac.”

“Oh.. I see.” Steve says “well…. Fuck, that sucks, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Billy rocks his head to turn away from him and forward for the sake of comfort.

Steve gulps, muttering to himself a quick “fuck me- can’t believe-“…. He clears his throat, speaking up, “ugh.. listen, man, if- if you need a place to stay for a while my parents are out of town for business trips a lot- wouldn’t even notice. Ac, food.. a guest bed.. I mean, no pressure, I’m jus sayin-“

“Fuck- Harrington, y-you serious?!.. “ he asks finding energy to perk up at this.

“Well.. yeah, I mean, I’m not a dick.. i can’t just leave ya like this.. so-“

“Y- hell yeah! Fuck man- you- wow- really?.. thank you! I’ll find a place to stay w-“

“It’s not even that serious, dude.. really.. it’ll be nice actually, to not teeter between the silence of being alone or rager parties.. so.. yeah, jus follow me” he taps the top of the car and turns to go to his own.

(Ima maybe write a one shot with this idk lol I always lose the posts tbh)

[ramzawrites]

Hey, so I'm having a really rough time rn (dealing with bs from my friend group, we have to take my really old dog to the vet today bc we found blood in her pee and we're scared that she won't make it this time, I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just kinda goin thru it rn ig) so I would love a comfort fic with the sbi maybe with the reader as their sibling where the reader is the one that always comforts the fam, but hides their emotions until (1/2, very sorry about splitting it)

(2/2) something happens that makes the reader have a full on breakdown? I'll leave the rest to you, it can be a good or bad ending, headcanons or one shots, anything. You can ignore this request if you want/if it makes you uncomfortable. Please don't feel pressured/guilt tripped to write anything from this, your mental health comes first and I'm sure you're already really busy. Reminder to eat something today if you haven't yet and get a drink of water <3

We are family - Reader and SBI!Brothers

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, (mentioned) Niki, (mentioned) Schlatt

Warnings: n/a

Series: a request <3

Summary: Y/N came back from an errand and surprises their brothers with their weird behavior. Trying to put on their usual smile, trying to hide away their real emotions but their brothers know them better than they inititally suspected. They could immediately tell that something must have happened.

Words count: 2060

Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope you and your dog are doing better! 💙 I wish I could give you more than words of encouragement and that I managed to get faster to this request, I apologize Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? Take time for yourself to deal with the stress and anxiety! Make sure to stay hydrated and remember to eat! Even if it’s just something small!

Once again I apologize for the long wait, I felt really bad already and then I kinda put it off because I felt bad.

adhd hit hard again and haven’t checked for typos yet, but will get on it as soon as I can o7

On another note if you want to read another comfort fic; I have a small series called “A Painful Reminder” which is more angsty but the 2nd part is more about the comfort, if that is something for you 

Living in the SMP was chaotic, turbulent and at times downright painful.

Most people tended to gravitate to one cause or other people to deal with this. Holding on to something so they don’t get pulled under. Get buried beneath the chaos and the violence.

So having people like Y/N around was like a godsend. They were one of the few people that seemed to be able to withstand the constant waves of misfortune and stand strong. Be the rock to hold onto when everything got too overwhelming.

Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy loved their sibling for it.

After Wilbur and Tommy got exiled with Y/N out of L’Manberg, they were there and cheered both of their siblings up. Immediately making plans on how to set up a safe home and collecting ideas on how to get back. They were the one who managed to get a message out to Technoblade and asked him to visit them. Maybe help them.

Wilbur often jokingly said that Y/N was the glue that held the family together, to which they would always reply with the warmest of smiles “I’m glad.”

And what he said was true. Whenever the family fell on hard times and they began to drift apart it was Y/N who pulled all of them back. Pulling them back to reality and giving solutions for their problems if needed.

Sitting down with Wilbur when things got to much. Listening to his thoughts and worries, letting his emotion run freely without judgement. While they looked worried for him, their comforting smile never faltered. Offering him solutions to problems if he wanted it, otherwise they gave him the chance to just air his own thoughts out. To be angry with him. Sad with him.

Working with Tommy on his own projects. Listening to his ideas and giving him a different perspective that could improve some things but also respecting it when Tommy wanted to do this his way. And while he liked to brag and pretend that some things didn’t hit him that hard, they were still patiently listening to him as he spoke about his own pain in a more roundabout way. Telling him that he was not alone and making him feel heard.

Talking to Technoblade whenever the voices got too loud or out of hand again. He would just walk over to them and nudge them away, asking them to talk about something, no matter what. He just needed to hear their voice and be able to concentrate on it. Tune out the garbled voices in his head with a familiar sound that calmed him down no matter what. Leaning against them, slowly falling asleep as Y/N told all about how they were happily working on their own farm and what shenanigans they got up to.

Y/N really was like the warm sun on a cold day. Warming them up and protecting them.

Yes, Y/N was strong. So strong that even Technoblade considered them stronger than him. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.

A clanging of metal rung through the cave. Techno was training with Wilbur while Tommy was just watching. Cheering on Techno.

It wasn’t an unusual situation and something Y/N expected to see as they made their way down the staircase. Wilbur in full iron armor and weapon while Techno just fought back with his own iron sword.

“Hey, Y/N! Welcome back!” Wilbur breathed out. Sweat running down the side of his face as he stopped attacking his brother.

The three men looked happily over to their sibling who slowly walked towards them but soon their expressions fell. Something was off about Y/N and it confused the three.

Their smile was as always plastered on their face but it looked strained. Their eyes wide open, trying to look sincere and loving but the glassy look of them gave off a different picture.

“Y/N? You okay?” Tommy asked as he stood up from the ground. Taking a step closer to them which made them in return stop in their tracks.

Y/N was hugging themself, shakily opening up their mouth to answer but nothing came out. It was then when Techno got very aware of how they were shaking in general.

This all seemed so wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. It just didn’t seem to register fully inside their minds.

Wilbur made sure to get rid off his sword and armor as fast as he could, walking over to his sibling, trying to get a better look at them but they just avoided his gaze.

Staring at the ground, slowly shaking their head “It’s- It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. You really aren’t. What happened? Did they find you?” Techno asked, his voice full with worry. A bit of anger hidden as well.

Y/N had their own little farm in order to support Pogtopia. The potatoes from Techno were great but variety is important after all. Though they also had an abundance of wheat they usually tried to smuggle into Manberg for Niki. Trying to help her out as much as possible with her taxes and work.

This time Y/N nodded “They did… It’s fine though. I’m fine. I’m not hurt. It’s all good.”

Wilbur’s frown deepened “Usually when people have to be so adamant about being okay something isn’t alright.”

Tommy nodded, supporting his statement only to whisper to himself “Adamant? What does-“

But Wilbur continued “We are your family, talk to us.”

Y/N licked their chapped lips “I’m-“

The tears finally escaped their eyes and begun streaming down their face. Sobbing they fell down on the ground. Wilbur immediately followed suit, laying his arm around them and pulling them against his chest. His hand flew up to their head and begun going through their hair, trying to calm them down. Humming a soft tune from their childhood.

It was the first time in their lives they saw Y/N break down like that and it was quite frankly shocking.

Unsure what to do with himself Tommy squatted down “Um, uh, what- what happened?”

Techno was still gripping the iron sword in his hand. Pacing up and down. Manberg found them? What the hell did they do to make Y/N break down like that? His own sibling! Whatever it was he would make sure to pay it back a thousand times over.

“Tommy can you grab them some water?” Wilbur laid his chin on top of Y/N’s head, rubbing circles now on their back.

He didn’t even hesitate, jumping up to run towards one of the chests with food items that Y/N had always ready for them. Grabbing a water bottle and running back over. Happy that he could do something else besides staring.

Tommy then pushed the bottle towards Y/N who gratefully took it, putting some space between them and Wilbur as they drank some of the cold liquid which helped them to calm down.

“You ready to tell us what happened?” Techno stopped pacing around. His gaze purely trained on his crying sibling. Anger still rising in him just like the voices.

Screaming things like “Technosib! How dare they hurt them! Protect them! I love Y/N so much! Why would anyone hurt Y/N! They always help us! Let’s help them for a change! Technosib! Let’s go out and fight them! Yeah! Blood for the Blood God and Y/N!”

Y/N’s voice was still wavering and a bit scratchy from their sobbing as they begun speaking “Hey, hey! Techno don’t concentrate on the voices. Listen to me. It’s all good.”

This somehow made Techno angry. He threw the sword away and finally knelt down next to them as well so his face was on the same eye level as theirs “Stop. Please. Stop thinking about us for one second. Stop trying to not make us uncomfortable or worried! Tell us what happened! Please.”

He was basically begging at the last part. All his worry packed into it.

“Yeah, honestly you trying to make sure everything is okay for us makes us even more worried.” It surprised the others a bit that this came from Tommy but he was correct.

Tears fell down their face again “I- I was just delivering more wheat to Niki and someone must have followed me. They followed me back to my farm and- and- they burned my fields down. There were explosions. I- it was just my farm. I did not harm. Just, why does it always have to end like this. Why do all the good things always end like this. Why can’t this place let something be. There is always something.”

The farm was so important to Y/N. It was their little project they put so much sweat, love and work into. It was their home away from home. A place to retreat and enjoy some peace. This obviously was devastating. It was their one thing they had for themself. The one thing that wasn’t there for anyone else but them.

It was also clear that this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and it broke the three a bit that they only now seemed to notice this. That it took that long and their whole farm being destroyed for the realize this was heartbreaking.

“Who?” Techno urged but Y/N shook their head.

“I don’t know. Everything went so fast and I tried to save as much as I could but- but it’s all gone. It’s all gone.” Their voice jumped up an octave at the end, burying their face against Wilbur’s shoulder again. Silently sobbing.

It should have been impossible but Wilbur’s frown deepened and his expression turned more grim “Don’t worry. We will get back at them. We will get our revenge. They will see firsthand what they did to you, I promise.”

Shocked Y/N looked up, their red and puffy eyes wide open “Wil, that’s not what I- no revenge. There is already too much misery going around I just want this to stop. I just want all of us being able to live in peace.”

Wilbur should have known that Y/N was too good natured for that but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so angry. Angry at Schlatt and Manberg. That they went for him was one thing but to go out of their way to treat Y/N like this? Let’s just say he put it on the list in bold letters with reasonings on why he will get back at the Manberg faction.

“Listen Y/N.” Techno begun, his voice now calm again “Stop it. Just for once think about yourself. Stop thinking about others for once. You are also worthy of the same care you give us. Let us at least help rebuild your farm. You always help us with our projects, let us help you with yours.”

Tommy seemed to lit up at that “That sounds like a good idea! We could build towers around your new farm and make sure no one gets in! We could put down traps and all!”

He really wasn’t sure how to react but that was at least something he could do for them. As the past General’s right hand man, this should be something he can do. If he couldn’t protect his sibling how could he ever hope to get L’Manberg back.

Wilbur seemed to think about it for a bit but agreed “Yeah, how does that sound?” Though the dark glint in his eyes stayed. The cogs in head still running off with his own thoughts.

“You guys would? Since when can you guys build?” a dry laugh escaped them but it was a laugh nonetheless.

Both Tommy and Wilbur looked almost appalled at that claim while Techno just shrugged and nodded. Just looking around Pogtopia was more functioning than good looking after all. Y/N tried to pretty it up a bit but usually something always happened around here.

“Also Y/N, please talk to us more. Don’t bottle everything up. Please. We worry a lot about you and we love you. You always do so much for us, let us do the same.” Wilbur pushed Y/N a bit off of him and looked them deep into their eyes, hoping that this would really hammer in that this was a genuine plea.

As a respone Y/N wiped the tears off their face “I understand. I’ll try to remember that.”

“Don’t try just do it.”

[hinako-supremacy]

howdy! whats goin thru your mind at the moemt? make sure you're dirnkin water:3

im am thinmking about my great grandma rn

also ill go gets some watr

[stephaniedola]

fine i knew it would eventually come to this

OFMD as TMA avatars

Stede, of the Lonely -- obviously, Ed helps him work through a lot of this but he was literally a blacked out ghost in his own former life. weirdly, going out to sea is how he finds community and himself

Ed, of the Hunt -- hear me out: obviously theres a lot of hot controversy about the Ed/Blackbeard distinction, but you can't tell me this motherfucker aint goin thru a Daisy arc rn

Izzy, of the Slaughter -- the hands that kill. but why? why? hes not even sure he knows anymore. when did i lose all the parts that weren't anger?

Buttons, of the Flesh -- you know that theres anything that can sustain you. the ship stores are full, the oceans full of fish. yet when you look around, theres nothing more delectable than the taste of your own crew's flesh. that, or the mushrooms you grow in the lower decks are kicking in

Frenchie, of the Dark -- superstition helps fill in the gaps where naïve eyes cannot see. what lurks in the darkness if not something fearsome, like blackbeard, or worse, a black cat?

Oluwande, of the Buried -- i feel like theres a lot we don't know about Olu. a lot he hides, keeps inside. without Jim to keep him afloat, he feels as though he is drowning. in his own mind? in the sea? we just don't know

Jim, of the Stranger -- this face you see is not my own. i wear many faces. i wear the face of man, the face of woman, but these faces are not my own. i would forget my own face, were it not for the way you smiled at me.

Lucius, of the Eye -- this man has always been too nosy for his own good. curiosity killed the cat i suppose. also this bitch can read. i thought abt eye for frenchie too tho lol

Black Pete, of the Web -- never afraid to lie for his own benefit. clings to the people he loves with silk strong as steel

Roach, of the Corruption -- need i say more i mean come on

The Swede, of the Vast -- his siren song drags you across oceans to die, but you didn't even realize you'd drifted so far from shore in the first place. where is the shore?

Spanish Jackie, of the End -- all good things must come to an end. revenge? that extends your life indefinitely. for a price. how old do you think I am, Jimenez?

Fang & Ivan, of the Spiral -- working for Ed and Izzy will drive a man insane, that's for sure

Calico Jack, of the Desolation -- some men just want to watch the world burn

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

look idek what warning to put here, but there's like, a novel and a half below the cut that's just... 6 hours of me going on tangents i never finish or clarify. no proofreading. no organization. it's absolutely not worth your time. but... i literally spent so long writing it that if i don't hit post it'll somehow be even more pointless?!?

basically there are no positive outcomes in any scenario with this post but the only remaining tragedy achievement is me writing all this and then deleting it. what proof will i have that i wrote nonsense for HOURS to avoid my research because i double dosed my meds and had too much caffeine?!? i gotta save this for the memories because no one will believe me if i tell them i live a fucking crazy life and use this as an example.

also for the record i'm goin thru it psychologically at the time of writing this. like, mania-turned-psychotic-episode, overstimulated, disassociated, exhausted, and currently procrastinating a LOT of serious things which only adds to my stress and scatterbrained gibberish. so like... please be kind but also don't get all freaked out either; i have enough psychological control rn to assure you i'm fine and this is just how i am sometimes... but i usually don't make extensive posts online during my more unstable periods. i gotta use the internet rn anyways tho so who's gonna stop me from hyperfocusing on the WRONG tasks?!? 🤪

okay, just had to say all that, and if you think my disclaimer is long? honey... you don't even have a big storm coming just keep scrolling and don't look back. don't click read more. it's not just "read more" like, it's MORE. a LOT more. too much. and like, there's literally nothing valuable there it isn't like my usual longposts that have a point or vague coherence. it was simply a huge waste of my time and it'll be an even bigger loss for you.

i can't even recommend mental stability as armour or a requirement since taking that away from you will make me feel bad, so if you're healthy please don't damage yourself with this.

ADMISSION REQUIREMENT: freaks, executive dysfunction regulars, people in boring classes, insomniacs, and sadists can proceed. and i'm STILL sorry to y'all because i didn't enjoy this either.

... so tell me why social media discourse takes itself more seriously than these people.

i've had profs with multiple doctorates and influential publications that changed academic discussions forever who like, roleplay deltarune characters on discord with students to avoid marking papers or cancel the last 2 weeks of class because they don't want to do 9 am lectures and know that we're all busy and probably gonna skip anyways. profs who change their mind and take assignments out of the syllabus since no one wants to do them and they don't wanna mark them. profs who forget their own publication deadlines because they were reading fanfiction, profs who hate the university administration more than you do, profs with mental health issues, queer profs, profs who play video games, or have tumblr, or make spotify playlists for every lecture and think the grading system is stupid, profs who hand out extensions if you ask because they weren't going to mark them all at once anyways, and profs who assign weekly pdf articles instead of big books and 300 dollar textbooks— even their own— because they're exhausting to read and super overpriced.

so many instructors in english literature are shifting away from academic essays and towards multimedia creations and fun writing prompts. "i don't want to read a 30 page research essay when i can read a brief informal paragraph explaining how this video game has the same vibes as this anonymous poem!" and "you can record a podcast or paint a picture or write fanfiction or do a minecraft letsplay as a character or honestly? do whatever you want as long as there's passion with coherent thoughts behind it!" and "word limits are stupid because adding nonsense to drag out your argument makes the paper worse: write whatever comes naturally as long as you sufficiently explain your argument but please don't make me read 70 pages in a 200 level course this is supposed to be easy on everyone"

i'll be real with you: academics are fucking bored. the content is stale. students dismiss profs because they seem like pretentious assholes who don't care about who/what they teach, but 99.9% of the time profs only seem dry and unapproachable because no one reciprocated their enthusiasm, and it was super awkward during classes, so they stopped trying.

some younger profs haven't stopped trying because they understand and haven't gone numb to their own content yet, and it's so painful to watch them put out good vibes and get ghosted by hostile students too focused on marks or checking things off their to-do list when the profs themselves would prefer conversations over the stupid assignments they're required to give you.

we talk about gamers, artists, other freelancers, musicians, thespians, dancers, and so many other career paths that require sacrifices, risks, and prejudice THAT I AM NOT DISMISSING but at least there are people acknowledging the isolation, instability, mental and physical health issues, social-wide neglect, and resilience of these people. to some extent anyways. people who break free from the mold and do something they love in spite of the consequences?

well, haha, if you voluntarily pay a fuckton of money and spend the duration of your 20's in school when everyone around you is actually earning money from jobs or at least enjoying their friday nights THERE IS SOMETHING DEEPLY WRONG WITH YOU!!! even if you get placement, if you don't have tenure (hard to get) the faculty is gonna dump extra shit on you that needs to be perfect or say goodbye to your crappily paid job. do you know how many publications and conferences and deadlines and actual work goes into that crap?!? you're supposed to answer questions no one in your field gives a FUCK about with no guidance or support or outline even though everyone is demanding you get your research done and then they're never happy with it. the elders in your field hate you (a cycle that hasn't been broken yet because those older esteemed people with tenure were in your boat once too) and i have a feeling no one outside the academic world likes you either since you're too hard to understand, pretentious, have no life, etc...

oh and on top of that? you gotta teach a bunch of people who don't wanna be in your class, hate the content because a) another instructor ruined it for them or b) it's a degree requirement and tbh you probably didn't have a choice either since 9/10 times this isn't what you wanted to teach and/or the faculty admin made you include it anyways. all that other work? well now you have to grade shit that a bunch of people didn't wanna write: even if profs have TA's to help with grading they're still required to handle a chunk of it and also deal with TA questions/concerns/regradings/pissed students/policies they're confused about that you're ALSO confused about. oh and a bunch of stupid questions since people don't read instructions and decide blame you for that?

also... do you know HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO TEACH??? you have to like, triple understand it and predict/plan for every fucking misunderstanding/question/problem that you can think of. including stupid questions. you'll also get a lot of people who ask things you either don't have the answer for or have the answer for but someone doesn't like it. and even if you're a flawless instructor who can handle every academic/behind the scenes/personal/basic human responsibilities or task (unlikely but i know profs who come close for at least 2 of those) someone is gonna be a dick about it.

... that dick is probably a student who is pissed they had to actually go to at least one lecture, semi pay attention, and read assignment instructions to get a good mark.

... brats who get mad about deadlines because they have other responsibilities and need extensions who go batshit insane when marks aren't released yet

... some y'all aren't gonna like this one: disabled students who say academia is ableist and profs are always evil if they don't accommodate and show sympathy because mental/physical health hinders their performance... but the thought that their prof might be disabled never crosses their mind. just like how you don't need to disclose that information, they don't either! profs can be neurodivergent. they can have conditions you aren't aware of. suffer from chronic pain. are battling an illness you don't know about. they can have mental illnesses. trauma. so many other examples, and this isn't a disability per say but THEY CAN HAVE PERSONAL EMERGENCIES TOO. maybe it's menstrual cramps, executive disfunction, someone close to them died, they relapsed on SH or addiction, are being abused or have been abused in the past, forgot their meds that day, cried all night, couldn't get out of bed, their favourite/comfort character died so they're feeling sick and can't focus on the lesson, didn't have time to eat because a loved one needs them, got triggered by the subject matter and don't know how to teach it, have a surgery next weekend and are worried about giving extensions since they won't he able to grade/put your marks in before THEIR deadline, had a bad interaction or just woke up feeling like crap so they're crossing their fingers the lecture runs smoothly, only to get shitty emails or bullied on rmp?

and y'know what? i don't care if your prof seems like a dick, because we're open minded about those appearing to be rude who are actually victims that didn't receive enough support to to their personal experiences and/or generational/ethical conditioning... until they're a 60 year old white guy who rolls his eyes when someone slyly ask a question or counters something he said to "school him" and "prove he's an overpaid, outdated, problematic bigot." maybe it seems really badass to people who are 2 weeks into the course... but he's been correcting that crappy misinformation for 30 years and your "okay boomer" attitude couldn't be more misplaced; this guy has probably been in the field longer than your parents have been alive and you think he missed this obvious oversight after teaching this course for decades?

if you think for a second that someone like my imaginary prof has it easy because of gender/race/sexuality/religion/ableness there are so many flaws to you logic because a) you can't confirm any of that shit and b) do you think extensions, accommodations, and other resources were available when they were getting their degree or even during most of their lifetime? i mean shit, we're all about helping meemaw understand what pronouns are and how they're used until it's your prof who was beat by his dad and classmates because "university is for devil worshipping snobs and faggots! if you think you're too good for the family business you're dead to me" and thinks this is normal. it doesn't matter if his peers/instructors were all "cishet white men" (since no one else counted as a person and they couldn't be anything else anyways) because if they were all forcefed toxic masculinity and misinformation that literally no one else could correct, embracing the privilege was their only move.

yeah yeah this isn't limited to profs since it's a sloppy and reductive commentary on entire generations that i'm not putting enough effort into, so take it with a grain of salt and try to hear me out in good faith since i'm improvising as i write this in a very unstable state with no intentions of proofreading or ensuring my point is clear. basically, the privileges we acknowledge in others are not the only ones out there because WE have privileges they don't. if you want "privileged people who benefit from the prejudiced foundation of a society that oppresses and profits off of suffering minorities" feat. more social media hot take discourse buzzwords etc etc etc.

"fuck reductive labels because they're inaccurate and build on outdated western mentalities, but also i'm gonna continue to judge someone based on labels i give them because i 100% know a person's race/gender/sexuality/ableness/psyche/religion/other things i consider to be privilege better than they do because they don't know what these things are and if they do it's wrong!!!"

okay, maybe YOU can pick and choose queer content based on if a contributor has a "your fave is problematic" entry or if the representation is approved by the community, take "am i gay?" quizzes in middle school, overcome internal prejudices through social media discourse, learn ethics through fandom trial and error, see enough cancellations to understand what NOT to do, or get enough adhd tiktoks on your fyp to self diagnose/get a formal diagnosis/access medical support/read articles and understand the medical side of things to validate your experiences/practice coping mechanisms and google tips/talk to other people with adhd/work on accepting you aren't a defect who didn't try hard enough/receive accommodations/know you aren't alone even if your current environment doesn't accept you because other places and people do. maybe this segment is too long but you at least has the time and ability to read it, on an electronic device, which you can access almost any time btw, and it'll give you access to endless content (which is somehow even more endless if you download a vpn and switch regions: yeah, infinity plus infinity level shit. oh and that's like 1% of the internet we're using all the maths in this parentheses tangent that's within a tangent within a tangent multiplied by a billion more regressed all inside a whopping procrastination activity. yay me! ok no more meta shit i already forgot where this fragment/sentence/paragraph/section/rant was going 7 times now)

okay. maybe you got this far and are totally lost, and i have no way of knowing how extensive the psychological damage is because I'M not even reading this post, so the real conversation is between you and the words on your screen, i have nothing to do with this experience. my fingers may have typed everything so far but my brain has been playing shrek 2 the entire time, so this is your mental health check since there is no thesis or sense of direction but i'm exhausted despite not being mentally present unlike you. i am just typing words as they appear based on writing patterns and routine from when i'm awake.

^^^ that's not a joke or shitpost btw so even if i've led you to believe it is at some point, so i am gonna be fully transparent in the caplocked paragraph below. it is as close as you're getting to me, bitter-sweet-coffee or whatever name you know me by, being aware and in control of my actions for the entirety of this derailed rant:

OKAY, BEFORE WE RESUME OUR SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING, I AM FORCING MYSELF BACK INTO MY BODY AND STEALING BACK MY SENSE OF SELF JUST TO EMPHASIZE WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY, SO YOU KNOW I AM BEING HONEST. BABES, I AM REGAINING CONTROL OF MY PSYCHE TO ENSURE THAT AMIDST ALL THIS DISASSOCIATED WORDVOMIT, YOU CAN TRUST SOMETHING 100% THAT I ACTUALLY MEAN. A MOMENT IN THIS BITCH THAT MY LESS UNSTABLE SELF WILL ALSO AGREE WITH. CLARITY BURIED IN THE 11TH HOUR OF THIS NEVER-ENDING STREAM-OF-CONSCIOUSNESS WALL OF TEXT. MY DARLINGS, i have no fucking clue what this post is supposed to be. there was probably an outline or vague concept 3ish hours ago when i started, but good luck asking me what it is now! some parts read like a viral tumblr psa but there are way too many rushed ideas that branch into tangents and unanswered questions. yeah i know there's no fucking coherence, but even though i'm aware everything i'm putting online this week is extremely concerning, it doesn't make anyone feel better if i say i know or put disclaimers because instability makes people uncomfortable. yeah we like freaks on the internet and y'all expect this shit from me by now, but even this is too much for my shitposting reputation, because at least i typically have enough control over my brain to proofread or follow a train of thought. i mean shit, not even i'm following this and it's my writing, which isn't even the most confusing thing i'm able to decipher, so unless you're god or extremely unstable this is probably the most incoherent thing you've ever read or at least since beowulf... or like, french. or russian cursive. or doctor-handwriting. or flat earth conspiracies. or the code to sonic 06 because NO ONE knows what the fuck happened there. actually, if you've used wattpad or twitter there's a chance you can make sense of this, but if you use either of those apps enough to comprehend their contents you're probably not fluent enough in actual recognized languages to successfully open tumblr and get here in the first place. okay, i can't think of anymore jokes that aren't even good so let's move on! basically, i love y'all, and even if i know this post is a train-wreck of a mistake that will worry people, it ain't gonna stop me. sure i might be goofy, unstable, informal, and hard to understand, but i also have credentials as an academic, well-spoken, published, articulate, accomplished, REPUTABLE person when i need to be in formal settings offline. FOR THE RECORD that's not a flex: we know i don't do labels or ego stroking beyond semi-satirical rarepair supremacy jokes and sonic lore flexes. my genuine intelligence has been my saving grace because i just KNOW if people thought i was some american teen from tiktok with no formal education or career accomplishments who regurgitates misinformation they saw on twitter y'all would REPORT ME!!! I WOULD BE BULLIED OFFLINE! "who's this cunt with the bad takes?!?" followed by "no no dw it's just another bsc moment on tumblr" is so important to bring up rn because it's not supposed to be a brag guys, my educational reputation is all i have to justify the stupid shit i post on here 😭 if i didn't remind people i am smart and accomplished when i need to be you'd think this is all i'm capable of and conclude that my stupidity is my full potential... THIS ISNT EVEN MY FINAL FORM! gah, i'm getting imposter syndrome and this was supposed to be the shorter heart-to-heart in a "brief" intermission that turned into another derailment. alright, even if there are glimmers of big brain theses buried anywhere that just needed an author from a healthier time and place, we know damn well i'd procrastinate/overthink/forget them if i deleted or drafted this monstrosity for another day... also i'm on mobile we know tumblr won't fucking save this LMAO IF THIS DELETES OR THE APP CRASHES (if you're reading this it obviously didn't, so idk why i'm @ ing a nonexist target) I'M GONNA BE SO MAD EVEN THOUGH THIS IS GARBAGE, SO A GLITCH FROM TUMBLR WOULD DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR. ITS MY GARBAGE THAT I WASTED VALUABLE TIME AND ENERGY ON!!!

wow. i discovered the text-block limit, that's embarrassing. at least it forced me to finish a thought (kinda) and complete my moral takeaway from like, 3-5 thousand words ago. SO LET'S GET BACK INTO IT!

okay look, i'm not suggesting it's everyone's job to be a doormat to mean old professors. that was where this was going, right? because even though spent a really long time on privilege and how older generations that are stuck in their ways deserve more compassion, you shouldn't let some dude hatecrime people and torture students. generally speaking, you shouldn't write off bad behaviour as a trauma response because even though i believe everyone is a good person if they have enough support, compassion, resources, and are encouraged to want to change... bitch this isn't a fucking utopia we're living in a fucking death circus. the last thing on people's minds is giving harvey fucking weinstein a redemption arc even if that would fix some shit because awful people learning to be good people teaches growth and self awareness that leads to more accountability and prevents more bad people from hurting others because resources and normalized support and systemic causes for bad people blah blah blah even I'M sick of my own tangents.

actually... this proves my point— the most recent unfinished one that is. YEAH, WE CAN UNPACK THE MORALITY AND PROGRESSIVE IDEAL COURSES OF ACTION AND UTOPIAN TAKEAWAYS FOR EVERY FUCKING SITUATION. NOT EVERYTHING IS BLACK AND WHITE. NOTHING YOU SAY CAN EVER BE ALL-ENCOMPASSING BECAUSE WORDS ARE HUMAN INVENTIONS THAT ARE NOT DESIGNED TO ACCOMMODATE EVERY SCENARIO. YAY, MISQUOTED NIHILISTIC DERRIDIAN HOT TAKES FOR MY GAY SONIC BLOG, RIGHT?!?

we all get it (probably). everything has an exception. but, as i stare anxiously at my clock and try to calculate how many hours i've been typing for instead of working on my actual work that matters, it's kinda obvious:

we don't have the fucking time or energy to do in depth discussions for every conceivable thing. no position will ever be enough, no words will capture truth in its rawest form because humans... have no clue what the FUCK they're doing. language, arts, the scientific method: the tools we use to express ourselves, the very resources we rely on as we try to pinpoint something undeniable, something constant, the way we go about actually PROVING something??? we can't even fucking agree on those! we made maths and sciences and words and arts but we can't even trust them because... well. if WE fuck up a lot and established ways to not fuck up... they're also fucked up.

sure we programmed computers and say they make perfect numbers but girl,,, WE made the computer and the numbers. sure it finishes our formulas better than we do but did the guy making the formula do a good job? maybe, but how do we know it hasn't been warped over time to an unrecognizable degree. there are billions of languages with endless dialects and regional variations for each one. WHO GENDERED THE FUCKING NOUNS IN FRENCH??? YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE ARE WORDS THAT ONLY EXIST IN ONE LANGUAGE? LIKE, THERE ARE NO TRANSLATIONS??? okay, so what the FUCK does that mean if we're the ones inventing translations in the first place? don't make me think about all the dead languages and their secrets or all the lost texts and stories... aight now i'm just sad

sceptic prompts aside, i hope you understand what i mean when i say we're never gonna do a perfect job of explaining shit. that's probably why i started so many things here and got distracted because i predict "what if's" and feel the need to sub-explain every ambiguity. that's not a valid excuse for this literary hatecrime but it's a bit of context i suppose.

where was this going? see my point?!? okay this was supposed to be the quick return to my pre-intermission thoughts that fixes shit, but nah it caused more problems. adding to the never-ending pile of jibberish.

RIGHT THE CRAPPY PROFS. yeah you have bigger things to worry about just don't be a dick and treat academia with a petty attitude but then demand acceptance and understanding because peace and love and social justice mantras. the diversity you're advocating for should extend to those who didn't have it, even if those people are shitty and misinformed as a result of their less progressive upbringing.

BASICALLY, EVEN THE PEOPLE YOU DONT THINK HAVE IT HARD DESERVE THE COMPASSION I WAS PUSHING EARLIER. the sobstory profs and the absolute cunts you want to strangle are both dealing with shit and i don't expect you to "fix them" but if i see people using bad prof anecdotes to justify hating all/some educators i'll eat your skin like it's kfc or something. idk, apparently people LOVE chicken skin! insert a featherless biped joke here if you want and if it'll make sense for you, i just wanted a threat that wasn't gonna be too mean because reading to this point is punishment enough even if you deserve worse lmao. the "privileged" profs still went through hell and the last thing we need are more generalizations based on profiling. mean profs could have been nice once so maybe power through the rbf and dryness by continuing to be nice and attentive: you might just save someone! and future students! and your gpa!

okay, no more lectures. here's some crap i wrote at the beginning that kept getting pushed lower and lower as i went on a billion tangents. it's probably more academic advice and silliness but i'm not gonna bother checking so uh, take it away past me...? yikes, good luck:

so, you don't wanna do that assignment? well, the prof doesn't wanna read it, neither does the TA. same shit new term, no one benefits, and they're marking a LOT more essays than you'll ever have to write

so, you didn't understand the reading and are afraid to say something in lecture in case you don't know what you're talking about? chances are your prof is either in the same boat and has no coherent plan for the lecture and also doesn't know wtf is going on, or this is their special interest they dedicated their career to and they'd rather just infodump the whole class anyways.

"i'm scared to go to office hours" these guys either have no social life and/or family, or they do and none of them understand what the fuck they're saying. do you know how hard it is to have normal conversations or make small talk when 99% of your brain is shit no one but maybe 4 other scholars in the world give a shit about?!? EXAMPLE FOR YOU FANDOM FOLK: IT'S NOT JUST INTERACTING WITH NORMAL PEOPLE, IT'S TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS IN A DEAD FANDOM WHEN YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IS A NOBODY AND YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP HAS NO CONTENT BESIDES YOUR OWN, EXCEPT FOR MAYBE 2 OTHER PEOPLE WHO YOU'RE TOO AWKWARD TO INTERACT WITH BEYOND FRIENDLY TAGS WHEN YOU REBLOG THEIR ART.

short answer to that ^^^ go to office hours. especially humanities profs or weird science profs, not just because you will do a LOT better on assignments but because they're lonely and appreciate it. when i go to office hours my profs are either trauma dumping or incoherently rambling about blorbos from their manuscript or batshit crazy theories no one wants to write/hear about.

like, think about how you feel when you get asks or nice tags or comments on your fanfic/art/videos. even questions about your au or opinions! hot takes maybe?

what about when new people follow you or ask questions about the fandom you've been in for years: when someone asks a silly question about the lore are you more likely to see red and fucking kill them, or use this as an excuse to infodump and excitedly point them towards secondary content and inform/motivate them, even splashing in your own personal theories? i know it's the second one don't lie to me or yourself.

at the end of the day, i just want people to know that the stimulating debates people have online in the 21st century are the fucking green forums, while the "scholars" and esteemed academics that so many people write off as pretentious or too serious are fucking losers. they're freaks. i want every academic to have tumblr because they're SO FUNNY OH MY GOD!!!

when i see y'all talk about blorbo from your shows all i can think is "damn this is more coherent than when i ask my prof a question and she excitedly rambles for 20 minutes without actually answering anything because she's so overjoyed someone finally asked" and am reminded of all the special interest/hyperfixation positivity. researchers are just people paid to get lost in their own thoughts and words because their niche is their universe and it gets lonely when no one else bothers to check in.

oh, and if they're dedicating their entire life to something no one gives a shit about and worker their ass off to make it profitable... they're one of us. probably into fandoms. assigns music to their work. make memes about their theories because no one takes them seriously anyways. absolute fucking LEGENDS

TLDR which i know y'all need:

profs are based as hell fjdksldldlds go talk to your instructors they're lonely like you are and listening goes a long way. the internet is way too serious now to the point our "serious" communities that we believe are more strict are actually the most lax places.

so like... when we talk about tumblr being the worst place ever and brought up it's cursed reputation for YEARS but then actually witness 2022 and go "nevermind.... this is the only fucking place online to exist safely" because what the FUCK are those other places doing???

yeah. that's academia. the tumblr of conversations (aka full of freaks but the fun kind: WAY LESS THREATENING AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING than the "silly sites" which have evolved into... no i don't even have a metaphor or joke for this one. it's just awful lmao)

cool idk how to end this after wasting 1/4 of a day making no sense, here's george:

[firebuug]

for the weird questions for writers thing: obligatory 6 9 4 and 20 bc funny. but for like actual questions 17 and 18

do not test me i will answer them all. my answers r below the cut LOL

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

tbh? that people read it and go “oh. uh. this is uh. cringe” or that they totally read it thru the wrong lens. like if someone looked at a piece where i poured my inner anxieties and feelings into and they went “wow so they just wanted this character to be whiny for a sec huh.” bc tbh in the end ya thats what it is its a silly character saying funny thing but also like i never ever do that. if i do that and SHOW U that writing then i am trusting you with my life and my cringe and my life essence a—

also just being obviously inexperienced lol. i dont write professionally and dont intend to its just for funzies but am still self conscious anywayz

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

yes ever since i was little i tried to let any ghost who may live in my house know i am its friend by sticking my foot out before bed and promising i wouldnt tell anyone if they could read my mind. my aunts had a haunted house and they went full investigator mode and somehow came to the conclusion it was their relative who wanted a last birthday party, so they threw a party for the ghost and all poltergeist activity stopped in their house

also related to writing but my friend’s WIP rn is literally titled He Doesn’t Believe In Ghosts

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

ive been writing the word Prestidigitation a lot bcuz dnd and i fucking HATE THAT WORD i cant even pronounce it i hate it die die die. also medival or mideival or whateve rthe fuck its spelled i hate that word

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

. ok so im not a big writer so the only wips ive got goin on are a self indulgent band au psychoanalysis piece, a hypothetical comic con murder mystery and the forever cancelled zombie apocalypse story i wrote from elementary to middle school w my ocs. and tbh i would kill to see the comic con murder mystery completed just to read it myself so i would take that offer. but also it isnt a WIP but if i could have that witch rewrite the juggernaut event for me as the epic cinematic arpg video and writing combination thing i pictured it as id give her my life

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

UM um well. i dont have any plot for murder mystery and my band au is just. oc story that i can ramble about whenever but . my zombie apocalypse was the funniest shit. i played this for serious and i love how apeshit my imagination was back then. the lore was that a zombie virus happened bc the ceo of an evil company’s fail brother locked himself underground on accident and in the period which he was stuck in there tried to make himself a friend. but it corrupted and became a zombie and killed him and escaped. and the world got so bad that the scientists found a planet and named it Earth 2 and everyone got on there except for a bunch of everyday average people including our cast. and now. they r forced to survive. i published it frequently on deviantart journals and still have it on my google drive, sometimes i used to read it to get inspired to make apeshit stories for fun, but i havent in a while

8. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

does. does this mean like a snippet from my own writing? UHH a lot of my writing is oc stuff that i work into their stories but let me try and pull up something old that actually has a chance of having backstory to it HAHAJK

ok all i found was this from a Splatoon writing which i thot was funny because of the context of Buggy seeing a totally abandoned, empty subway station and still INSISTING on not hopping the ticket scanner or whatever. help. like i dont have any commentary i just wanted u to see this. :

“Just hop over it,” he remembered Skuggy telling him, “nobody cares.” Buggy felt too bad about it, though, and got him to lend him his old card anyways. He reached into his pockets for the said card and stuck it into the slot. The little dusty screen on top of the gate showed a little spinny loading circle before a light shone green and he was let in.

whatever. anyways instead ill spit fun fax about the juggernaut story writing event arpg thing bc i um. i um. i . i. i . @im-hiding22 its bad compared to my writing now but it was sillyfun

- i did not actually intend for buggy to kill farrow i intended for it to be a fake-out and for farrow to scramble to life right when the juggernaut approached or whatevs. but when all my friends went insane like he did die i thought “wouldnt it be funny if he died fr”

- i was intending on mendel to be the first death under the jugg’s hands because itd be cool for the creation to get revenge in its creator and for the story to be everyone trying to fix mendel’s mistakes themselves and possibly bring him back. but i could not imagine anything thatd reverse his mistakes in a satisfying way so i scrapped and rewrote it

- literally only wrote the stupid loredump radio broadcast cuz i had finished reading the nightvale novel

- 80% of the most fun i had from that and the most story-impacting decisions came from my friends sending asks, and seeing my friends actively wanting to participate and speculate on something i was writing was literally the most touching thing i have ever felt in my life. im reliving that high by running a dnd campaign in which now i can focus on telling my friends’ stories and intertwining them with my own

ok bye. this was 3 years long, im giving you a brownie if you read this far because youre incredible! all of the old writing i posted here can be found under the ;writing hashtag which will be tagged here :D if u. ever wanna see cringe splatoon or town of salem oc fanfic LOLL

[jrueships]

This is basically what happens in my brain

After the dunk contest they are in shambles (gup more than green) and jalen is like “hm how do I make my f r i e n d feel better” because real friends do that (coughs)

Anyways they’re at like a hotel bc y’know all star events and it’s all kinda awkward because they were pretty bad and I think gup is like depressed?? And then jalen is lowkey like “why he kinda 👀 in those pants tho” and thinks abt his lips bc of course he does

Okay and then I guess (transition) they’re like “haha why not fuck” and then do the thing. And like jalen is trying to get the pants off bc it’s tight and he says something kinda suggestive abt the shirt

Does gup cry idk up to ur imagination 😭 maybe from having his prostate stimulated in some way 🤔 tbh I didn’t think too much abt like the actual… fucking… but it’s probs involves penetration of the anal nature 🧍

Uh the ending uh they probs say something cheesy and are like “oh hey yeah I like you actually” and it’s sappy and shit

I hope you enjoyed this ask bc while I was looking at gup’s Twitter I saw him retweet this and ???? (Forgot that hyperlinks existed on tumblr bless tbh) but yeah they sus keep scrolling 😎😎

GAY PEOPLE Y e. A S !!!!!!

more thoughts under.. the Cut 😈

FIRST OF ALL this sounds SO cute and in character AWWW gup feeling all upset at himself for 'embarrassing' Jalen (even tho jalen started the tragedy by pulling out that ugly ass nftnecklace like idk what to tell u buddy...) and jalen wanting to 'make his "Friend" ' feel better, who happens to be a boy, who happens to be his wife. WE LOVE TO SEE IT !!!!!!

A hotel fuck 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁?????? OOOOKAY! i SEE it! i LIKE it i LISTEN to it!

Things being awkward... gup being depressed.. and jalen being horny on the low LOL 😭 gups goin thru it and jalen is just watching from a dank desolate corner of the room thinking 'hmmm Yes. Pathetic people are H O T !!!!!!

Jalen's mind ^^^. Celebrating the w he is about to score off the floor because he can't score one on it 😭 while gup is going through the 7 Stages of Grief. gup may be feelin bad in the head but jalen thinks hes feelin pretty bad in the Behiiind 😋😋😋😋. ALSO thinking about his LIPS??? NAUGHTY WACKUS BONKUS !!!!!!!!!!! wonder WHY hes thinkin about them HMMM 🤔? <- evil man who knows why but just wants an example for funsies

Jalen trying to tug off Josh's tight ass pants 😭 cutting off his circulation. So cute <3 love the role these pants play. Academy award supporting cast !!!!!! ALSO i wanna know WHAT he said about the SHIRT !!! WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT REAL FRIENDS?? THE PUBLIC (me) NEEDS TO k N O W !!!!!!!!!!!!

THE SCIENTIFIC DESCRIPTIONS HeLP ?????? still 🤭 tho... overstimulation 🤭🤭 crying.. we love 2 see it

THANK U for these details you are doing your TUMBLRINA COMMUNITY a great SERVICE !!!!!!!!! YOUR EFFORTS ARE APPRECIATED AND VALIANT ! perhaps one day when the fic is posted .... and felons are fed.. you shall be awarded The H*rny Heart . Who knows 😋 !

ALSO

Gup reposted this pic to his insta.... and ure showing me he rted it on Twitter TOO?? their 30 POINT GAME ?????? GAY ! ( in cowboy yeehaw adlib ) they are so close to kissing.. gup doin a little jump into jalens chest like he isn't smaller than him. Gayass. Green doin his shy little seashell girl knee touch stance like he isn't a terrible menace... okay jalen.. okay.. they are so sappy.... p*rn with feelings > Thomas edison

[bookish-mind]

I read the dream thieves, buckle up this one is a train wreck:

*spoilers*

RONAN POV RONAN POV RONAN POV

WHAT IS HIS SECOND SECRET THAT HE CANT ADMIT TO HIMSELF

Is it that he’s, y’know.. is he gonna have an oh moment..?

Also, he’s a FARM BOYYY WHAT

“Ronan Lynch, keeper of secrets, fighter of men, devil of a boy” my god this Ronan content is >>

Blue saying Adam is kinda an outsider now.. wow that shit hurts

“In that moment Blue was a little in love with all of them” ME TOO BLUE ME TOO

Wait wait wait isn’t ronan the greywaren ?? Whatever that means ?? Anyway, the gray man can fuck off

Gansey: am I in your dreams ?

Ronan: *loses his mind for a minute*

Me: hmm that’s not a very heterosexual response my friend

Tf since when is the Camaro ‘red-orange’ ? it was just ‘orange’ before (yes this is important)

What is this with kavinsky and ronan 👀

Why can’t blue just tell Adam that she can’t kiss anyone oml

“Fix me” *sigh* my boy Adam is rlly goin thru it

ADJKSGSJKFG NOAH AND THE GLITTER MY PRECIOUS BOY

“If Adam was stupid about his pride, Gansey was stupid about Adam” ...no thoughts.. only adansey..

Noah knows Ronan’s secret and I think I do too

Ronan threw Noah out the window I- 😂💀💀

“I’m losing him to Cabeswater” WELL U BETTER GET YOUR BOY BACK GANSEY

Cabeswater isn’t a place it’s a state of mind

Broooo waaaiittt did kavinsky dream Ronan’s bracelets ?

Matthew lynch has been in one (1) scene and I’d already die for him

Adam is not a train wreck ! (well maybe a little, but you don’t need to tell him that)

For the love of- Maura pls stop flirting with the gray man

PLS THE WAY ADAM AND GANSEY BECAME FRIENDS IS SO PURE

Adam chapters have no mercy I just be sitting here like 😩

CABESWATER IS GONE WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CRYING

That dream about Adam- And then the nightmare creature following Ronan out of the dream- And gansey realizing that ronan never tried to kill himself- And the two of them killing the nightmare- We don’t have time to unpack all that

Noah and Ronan are a certified brotp,, I love their shenanigans

LOL blue seeing gansey in jeans and a tshirt for the first time has the same energy as Simon snow seeing baz pitch in jeans for the first time

“Poverty Twins” I-

My name is ronan lynch I like fast cars, adrenaline, the taste of gasoline, talking with my fists, and holding little baby field mice up to my cheek to feel their little baby heartbeats

Real friends are the ones who will bury a body with u 🥰

CABESWATER ISN’T A STATE OF MIND IT’S A DREAM

Noooo ! Don’t u dare touch the miniature Henrietta ! Anything but that !

You’d think gansey would’ve bought some sort of security system or something smh

There’s like 50 types of tension in this boat rn

Gansey is absolutely smitten with blue

Oh god Noah reenacts his death.. is that really necessary

Omfg they’re at the fairgrounds,, Gansey boyyy who are you ??

Ronan chapters are actually so poetic I love it

Gansey and Adam are gonna be in DC for like two days and everyone is acting like it’s the end of the world.. the separation anxiety is real

Ronan’s dream.. about Adam and kavinsky.. I-

This blue and Noah bonding time was so heartwarming and then it turned depressing real fast I was so not prepared to be sobbing over a Noah/Blue kiss

Holy shit Ronan almost died and the camaro is fucked,, he’s gonna dream a new one isn’t he?

Oh dear, must my boys fight?? My adansey heart aches

A d a m i s m i s s i n g

Gansey said “dream me the world” and then Ronan rlly learned how to dream the world

The gray man be like “yeah I kill ppl but I draw the line at kidnapping” tf??

“I am unknowable” absolutely broke me

WAIT Adam just pulled The Magician card and I realized that the tarot symbols correspond to each of them: coin = gansey, cup = blue, sword = Ronan, wand = Adam !! tell me I’m wrong

Ronan tells kavinsky “it was never gonna be you and me” Blue tells Adam “it’s not gonna be you” Adam tells himself “it was just going to be him and cabeswater” idk man these parallels just made me feel somethn

“Who has he ever had to love him? Ever?” You gansey, Adam has you and blue and Ronan and Noah. maybe instead of going on a forbidden romantic night drive with blue you could go make sure your best friend knows that he is loved

holy shit did- did kavinsky rlly kill proko and then dream another one into existence ??

“You didn’t say you don’t swing that way” “No, I didn’t” ronaaan finalllly I’m so prouuud

That’s it Persephone and Adam are my favorite power duo

Nevermind the greywaren and the magician are my favorite power duo

“Dying’s a boring side effect” damn kavinsky’s death hit me harder than I would’ve expected

The way the epilogue mirrors the prologue has me feeling so many things,, full circle

Ronan being unafraid, no longer hating himself, knowing who he is, knowing what he is, no longer feeling alone, taking control of his nightmares by coming to terms with the parts of himself he couldn’t face, laughing and smiling and dreaming the world and waking his mother and hugging his brother and going home. I cannot express how much this beautiful Ronan arc means to me, let me go cryyy

“Ronan’s second secret was Adam Parrish” I SCREAMED

Give me pynch I’m so ready

(this post got very long and there’s still so much more I could’ve said, thanks for reading my ramblings if you made it this far! Lemme know if you want one for book 3)

[jaxcns]

y’all know this mans? yuh.. really gets ya thinkin that men might deserve rights after all huh? i mean they dont but it makes ya think! anyway.. i’m urayai ( uri for short ), eighteen, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa over in the est timezone. we livin in a winter wonderland over here rn issa nightmare :) if ya feelin the vibe now then check out my statistics page yuh maybe i went the extra mile MXDDDN! anyway if ya poppin ya p*ssi to nct, love wastin time playin the sims, or are prayin for both taes scalps then smash that heart! we need validation in order to live in this economy laid ease!

basic details

( wong yukhei, cismale, he/him ) — meet jaxon wu, the nineteen year old sophomore at washington state university. i heard that the hedonist is a literature major who spends most of their time either practicing on the soccer field or interning at dorrance publishing two days a week. if you ask around, you’ll find out that the scorpio was born on october 28th, that the last song they listened to was uncomfortable by chase atlantic, and that they currently live in the kappa zeta nu fraternity house. ever since the death of carter hayes though, the only thing anyone can seem to recall when it comes to them is that they used to share a room with him at the frat house.

+ smoke-filled lungs, constellations in his eyes, denim jackets, disappearing acts that rival houdini, heart-shaped boxes, thumb rings, lazy grins, broken promises, and rainy mornings.

full sleeve on his right arm plus a chest piece in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

on an athletic scholarship for soccer but he loves hockey more so its #emohours

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden ja feel

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient as hell like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original amirite

gets super obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

bisexual / bitter / bilingual

mom is a bank tell and dad is a professor at boston u

not very close to his older brother since hes off gettin his doctorates degree

very close to his little sister tho they’ve always been best friends

enjoys goin on hikes to clear his head

other than writing he also enjoys all other things creative like painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, etc

he attends a weekly art class in the city

he def dabbles in drugs so if ya lookin he can probs hook ya up

he was carters roommate 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shitttttt like fr. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — if i could’ve picked an alternate label for him then it woulda been the bellwether. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, you’ll never find a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hair is messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck so jot that down!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after the fact but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get dat coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is jax thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and with his shiny new fake id y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with more to come i’m sure!

plot ideas

MUSE — pretty self explanatory i think? this person just ignites fuckin inspiration for him whether it be thru takin pictures of them, writing about them, filmin them, drawin them, etc etc. jax always knows that when hes in a slump he can find them and that shit will come back as quick as flippin on a light switch!

RIDE OR DIE(S) — y’all already know wtf it is! we love those friends who just talk shit with each other, those that’ll go to bat for one another, but also arent afraid to be like “yo step back ur gettin a lil outta line” ja feel? literally gimme all that!

ANGST — i live for anything angsty tbh like im one of those bitches that gets bored when things are goin too well for my chara so i need someone to fuck that shit up fam!

RELATIONSHIPS — im here for it all! im talkin enemies, friends, rommates, party buddies, smokin buddies, fwb, exes, partners in crime, etc etc! im here and ready to snatch em all up!

TEAMMATES — jax plays hockey, soccer, and baseball so if ur chara does too then? uhhhh we def gotta plot cause we could go any way with the teammates thing like imagine teammates who hate each other and purposely try to hurt one another durin practices.. ugh we love pettiness!

ADVENTURE BUDDIES — hiking, goin to abandoned / haunted places, spontaneous road trips, etc! need someone or multiple people who’re down to just drop everything and go. doesnt even matter where tbh they’re just always up for a lil adventure.

SEESAW — lemme be basic for a sec ok just hol on! i rlly want a plot based off of yoongis song seesaw where maybe the two of them were together and at first it was great but then they just fell out for wtvr reason and obvs didnt wanna be together anymore. neither of them wanted to let go tho maybe it was like a comfort thing? so they just kept repeatin their same old shit and actin like everything was cool until one of them finally took the step and ended it just.. ik there’d be angst ik it and i need it!

PARADISE — the new song by chase atlantic! bitch! i felt it in my soul maybe i cried? jax dabbles in literally everything hes truly a mess so havin someone who just checks on him would rip my soul in half? someone who gives him a call randomly in the middle of a sunday night and is just like “hey ya been ok? not fallin back on bad habits are u?” shit like that. it would def be a thing where he falls a lil bit in love with them because its smth hes not used to tho that def doesnt mean at all that they feel that way about him! it can unrequited i dont rlly care tbh.

ik i forgot sum shit and ik this is a damn m e s s but if ya wanna plot then just lms and i’ll hit ya up! we can brainstorm or pick from one of our wcs idc just give this h*e sum plots i’ll literally die without em? im def the type whos down to prettymuch™ fill anything so if ya got a plot that ur rlly wantin but no one seems to be takin then give it to me i’ll 100% take it lmao! ya im desperate what about it?