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#that's how i've always pictured her
the-hawkeyes · 2 months
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"Sitting all alone by yourself, handsome?"
Thancred turned then, not at all surprised to see Katie sauntering up to him, some sort of fruity drink in her hand. She had favored those since arriving in Tural, if his info was correct.
"Not anymore, it seems, my dear." He replied, taking the woman into her lap. Or, more accurately, helped her settle down. She always was one to do what she wished.
"It's a shame, don't you think? That we never had the proper opportunity to test each others mettle. The only thin we really got to do was you closing that cave path in our face. Which was rude, by the way. I still say you owe me something for that." Katie teased, poking his bare chest, wrapping an arm around those strong shoulders.
"Oh? I owe *you* something? Rather rich, don't you think? You and I both know that if we were to have come to blows, I would have been the victor." Thancred smirked.
That smirk. That damn smirk. Even after all these years it caused Katie's cheeks to flush, causing her to turn away to look at the set sun, the rays in the sky it still cast.
"You think so? You are talking to *the* Warrior of Light. Hydaelyn's Champion, savior of the star, killer of the Endsinger. You've seen me." Katie retorted.
"But who, if you recall, ultimately gave you the realm in which to fight said Endsinger? Hm?" Thancred smirked again, cocking his head.
Katie couldn't contest that. Without his strength at their arrival to Ultima Thule, none of them probably would have survived. A blush of arousal turned to one of embarrassment. He was right. He knew it. She knew it.
"Oh, shut up." She sealed with a kiss, both content with letting that particular hang up die there and enjoying the company of the other in the evening.
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Books of 2024: July Wrap-Up.
This month, I picked my knitting back up with a vengeance, started a Three Sentences Writing Challenge, AND participated in several work-adjacent Social Events (who am I, even), On Top Of accidentally nerfing myself with several brick-like books, so! This little stack isn't half bad. Photos and/or reviews linked below:
ORDINARY MONSTERS - ★★ This was a miss for me, y'all, AND it was a brick, so it took a hot minute to read. I wanted it to be better than it was, but it rambled and wandered Too Much (which, coming from me, you KNOW is bad). Salty also-rambly 1.5k review linked.
IF FOUND, RETURN TO HELL - ★★★½ Way cuter than I was expecting!! I had a good time with the second person. Hugely relatable (which. wild. all things considered.).
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE - ★★★½ Funnier than anticipated, and very readable for something out of the '50s! I see why it's a cornerstone of the (sub)genre. Glad I have a copy on hand now.
THE ACTOR AND THE TARGET - ★★★★★ This Rewired My Brain. It took me three (3) weeks to get through. It was so good. If you're a writer, definitely check this out, 10/10 recommend.
WHEN AMONG CROWS - ★★★½ I checked this out from the library because hardback novellas are Expensive if you're not sure you vibe with the author's style, but I had a good time! Witcher fans should descend on this, I think.
ALWAYS COMING HOME - 76*/618 pages read; will report back later. I asked the People about this one, and the People have Spoken (read: this won my What Do I Read Next Poll), but I may or may not have miscalcuated how many brain cells I have available lately between work and writing, so I may or may not be cutting this with library books. I'll finish it. Eventually. (*asterisk because she keeps referencing Other Pages In Line, and every time she does I jump ahead to read those pages instead and then come back to where I was. I'm dual wielding bookmarks through this tome, it's an Experience™ so far!)
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of this month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
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milky-aeons · 7 months
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oh i am so in love with this!!!! never shutting up about this!!!
i would like to say thank you to the wonderfully talented @wiispywitch for drawing Gojo and my OC, from Hope is The Thing With Feathers. also, huge, huge thank you to @arlerts-angel for hosting the giveaway and gifting me with such a lovely present 🥰
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sysig · 10 months
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Some possible* Tala stickers :D (Patreon)
#My art#Original#Tala#*I'm more just playing around with the idea of making some - personal stickers!#I mean I'm the biggest Tala fan anyway it's fine if it's for an audience of one lol#I finally got my hands on some sticker paper a bit back now it's just a matter of getting them the size I want and finding a good printer!#Ours is uh....well just don't look too closely at some of the greyscale pages I've posted they leave a bit to be desired lol#And that's just black and white I'm a little concerned what it'd do to pictures! :'D#Though I say that but it did print the art from Roundabout quite nicely so hmm! Maybe! But I do have other avenues if I want them :)#It's nice to have options!#For the time being they're just cute little guys of one of my cute little guys! :D In her doggy form and specifically her plush puppy form ♪#I really have been enjoying adding to her physical accessories haha - she's always got her little gold stitch/scar#And then her first accessory being the bracelet - and then her face mask - and now her ribbon! :D It's all very cute she's very cute#She's also good feral practice since I'm still not very good at drawing dogs or cats or the like :'D#I used references for that first one! Wowie!#I'm a fan of how she turned out overall :) I can still see some work I'd like to improve for her back legs but other than that :D#Baring her little teefsies hehe she's so scary ♥#My love of drawing plushies rears its head again - she is added to the list! No soft shading or lighting like MewTwo tho that's alright#The stitches are the really important part :) I like them!#I wish she could sit like that irl haha she's actually very stable to stand! A little awkward to sit#And finally a cutesy cartoony one :D She doesn't have paw beans irl either but come on I had to!#I debated whether they'd be pink or brown but I think I'm happiest keeping her palette simple :)#She's so cute <3
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kerryweaverlesbian · 8 days
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It does annoy me to see those shippy posts that are like lists of activities "that we do platonically" (with the implication that it's not platonic). But actions aren't ever inherently romantic. I could sleep in the same bed with someone and brush their hair and kiss them and have sex with them and hold their hand when we walk and snuggle on the sofa with them and make them packed lunches with cute little notes of how I hope they're having a good day and get a cat together and plan a life together. And they could be my best friend with no romantic attachment required. It's about intent and what you decide together that your relationship is, right?
Which is not to say "them in the [fictional media] aren't gay stop making everything about that they could be Just FriendsTM", because in the fictional media there is (probably) framing of the actions in a romantic light demonstrating romantic intention and feeling. And if not in the media itself, whatever fan works are being created for them would. But merely listing actions as romantic without that framing...it's not the same and to me it reads as devaluing platonic relationships as a whole. Which I'm sure is not the intent!!
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It's way past my bedtime ans my cat is sleeping-purring next to me but I thought I'd post the process of the @ailani-reillata Ailaniversary art I made today just to talk a bit more about it
Disclaimer: doing traditional art is cool until you need to scan it or post a picture of it 😂 also kinda long post below so ofc no obligation at all to read it!
Phase one: Sketching the Idea
My inspiration for the posture was a Yara Flor comic strip I found on Pinterest. Yara looks over her shoulder and her hair falls on the side of her face, and I loved the way it framed her face and thought it would look great with Ailani's hair.
I drew a little doodle on the page to help me visualize how the hair would be divided, and focused on 3 main parts (the lines, the bubbles, the empty space) which would - supposedly- help me during the lineart stage. Below are images of the final sketch.
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I was hesitant on adding details to her arms, such as the folds of a dress, but I was so anxious about ruining the drawing I abandonzd that idea. I was considering adding her tattoos and was still not decided at this stage of the drawing.
Phase 2: Line-ing the Art
Is that even a real word? Idk, I'm too tired to English properly so we will say it is. Following the sketching phase was naturalle the lineart phase, which is one of my favorite stage when drawing. I bought new inking pens too so I was able to test them out, and it went quite well!
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As you can see, the ribbons, outline of the skin and facial features have been done with my new pens, and i was quite happy with the result! It gives a more natural look to the whole drawing in my opinion.
At this stage I decided not to add her arm tattoos and consider this version of Ailani as the one you would find in the early chapters of Begged and Borrowed Time, so before she would get her tattoos.
Phase 2.5: Line-ing the Hair
This stage has it's own part because it was really fun to do! The inspiration for the way I draw hair comes from @/ssavaart (aka Scott Christian Sava on Youtube). I've been following him for a while now and I'm trying to push my art beyond my comfort zone and try new stuff thanks to him, and having fun with drawing hair is one of these things!
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Look how beautiful these curls are. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm really proud of the drawing at this stage 😂 it's the perfect moment where the inking went well and I have not yet ridked myself with the watercolours - so I always take a long sight (and tons of pictures) to celebrate reaching this stage without incidents.
Phase 3: Watercolours
Here comes the difficult part. It always makes me nervous because I always fear ruining my drawing and all the efforts I put into it by doing the watercolours. But I love the medium too much and if I want to get better I need to practice. So, testing the waters, I finally dive head first into this crucial stage.
The watercolouring goes well, I'm overall satisfied enough to take some pictures and even try to scan it, with the hope that the scanned rendering will be better than the usual "photographing and editing" I do with my phone.
Spoiler alert: the scan was NOT better than the pictures, and no amount of editing could change that. (Or maybe I am just very bad at editing.) So, back to my "photographing and editing" habits, I somehow managed to get a good enough result:
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I still feel unsatisfied as I find these digital versions do not properly render the visuals I have on paper, IRL. With the digital versionsw the hair is either so dark we don't see the details, or too bright, the colours are too warm and light... And while Ailani looks light-skinned, the paper version has these visible brown tones that I struggled to find on the digital version, even when editing the pictures. The closest I got is the tone you see on the first picture, but the image is not lighted enough so the overall quality of the picture is a bit lessened by that.
Still, I won't complain too much, because overall it was a very fun drawing to do, I enjoyed every stage of it and I would love to do another piece like this! But for now I will go to sleep because it is Way Past My Bedtime 😂
If you've made it this far, thank you for your attention, feel free to let me know which stage is your favorite and what you liked most (or disliked most) about this drawing!
I for one really had fun doing Ailani's lips, as well as filling her hair, and colouring her eyes! 😊
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ana-bananya · 5 months
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I NEED IT I NEED IT I NEED IT I NEED IT I NEED IT
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alsaurus-loves-dean · 11 months
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#last month i wrote some tags about how i needed to leave my nails alone because i was getting extensions#in the hopes that i would finally stop biting my nails after doing it almost my whole life#well it FUCKING WORKED#i got gel x tips and i loved them sooooo much#but they kept coming off because i have to do so much with my hands especially in water lol#and i have tiny fingers too so the sizes she had weren't quite right#she redid the ones that came off for free for the whole three weeks i wore them!#so i bought her some new tips in tiny person sizes as a thank you lol#for her to use on other clients tho because she recommended this gel overlay system she likes#I've been wearing it for like a week and a half and they are still FLAWLESS#so I'm never going back to anything else lol i'm going to keep getting these pretty much forevwr#but anyway the important part is. that i no longer put my fingers in my mouth to destroy my nails and cuticles#i have real grownup hands now and it's AMAZING#my nail plate is reattaching to my nail bed!!!! like the bed is getting longer#they'll eventually reach the actual tips of my fingers the way theyre supposed to 😍#and the gel keeps the nails hard and almost fucking unbreakable#i had to replace my compulsion to bite/chew with the compulsion to apply cuticle oil lol but it's SO WORTH IT#i look at pictures of how my hands used to look just two months ago and i cant fucking believe i lived that way for DECADES#and i guess this is especially significant for me because my hands have always been a source of shame#not just because my nails were fucking gross and fucked up. but because i have TINY HANDS#like really small hands. not proportionate to my body. AT ALL#especially when i put my hands near my head because i have a slightly larger than average head lmaooo#and my fingers are very thin and just. i have small hands. very weak.#i cant even snap my fingers and make a sound#(do NOT instruct me. i know how to do it. i have been trying my whole life. its not physically possible for my fingers to make that sound)#so having nice nails really fucking helps me 🥹#like i can be proud of my hands even if theyre small#and i dont feel the need to hide them anymore
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sudokuplayer · 4 months
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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daydreamerdrew · 1 year
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The Incredible Hulk (1968) #267
#I've previously been a bit frustrated with this arc for what I felt was a simplistic approach to the ethics of curing Bruce of the Hulk#this is the beginning of us getting a little more nuance as Rick recognizes that they are tricking the Hulk#all this talk about freeing Bruce from the Hulk and freeing the Hulk from Bruce#when really they’re trying to ‘free Bruce Banner all right- by bamfing the Hulk outta the picture!’#also the fact that Rick knows that this is going to hurt the Hulk and assumes that Betty does too but she’s actually forgotten#while Rick isn’t necessarily contradicting the idea that Bruce and the Hulk are one he is framing his participation as loyalty to Bruce#obviously Betty is more loyal to Bruce and less so to the Hulk too#but I like that idea that Rick has a bit more of an awareness of what they’re really doing#while Betty is more singlemindedly focused on Bruce and so isn't really thinking the other side of it through#not that I'd doubt she wouldn't still prioritize Bruce over the Hulk if she did#but I don't think she's consciously taking advantage of the Hulk's trust in her#I’m thinking of how in the 1996 Hulk cartoon when Bruce and the Hulk were briefly separated#she had always previously tried desperately to stop her father from going after the Hulk and convince him that he had misjudged the Hulk#and while she was aware that her father was still going after the Hulk she stayed focused on Bruce and just assumed the Hulk would be fine#she didn't say that she doesn’t care about the Hulk without Bruce as a part of him#but she really didn't care about the Hulk when Bruce wasn't a part of him#which makes sense for her considering her experiences#whereas Rick I think looking back on the very early days has been terrorized by the Hulk more directly than Betty has#but his life hasn't overall been as dominated as he's been off in other books doing things with other superheroes#and I think it makes sense for him to have more appreciation for the Hulk as a person#the issue after this parallels Rick's upbringing with the Hulk's life#marvel#bruce banner#rick jones#betty ross#my posts#comic panels
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uroborosymphony · 1 year
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𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 & 𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆. Venor. Vincere aut mori. ft. @velvetineblue
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neuromantis · 1 year
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my main issue with pill is that she can't decide either.
it is either "i am her" or she'll listen to me blather on and on and on and say "have you considered it's not true?"
so what is it? would you accept you are Her, and that telling me that made me so much worse on topic of Her? (better in some ways, but still utterly helpless)
or are you going to give me a reality check and try and fix my brain because it's hurting you too?
if you genuinely do not want me in that way, then stop agreeing with my delusions? are you Her? are you not?
why would you spend time and effort convincing me you are, just to flip-flop endlessly?? i am not sane. i need clear conclusions.
the time we genuinely tore each other to shreds was when i spoke about what i Feel and what i Think. because there are things that Feel right to me, logical, clear as day. but when i Think about it for long enough, it's really nothing besides schizophrenic delusions. i can still differentiate. but that's what hurts. i want to succumb fully or cut it all away. i can't be ambivalent HERE.
i will be happier if i succumb. i will be healthier if i cut away. i am neither currently. it all hurts so much.
"it really can't be possible", tells me my logic. "but it all perfectly lines up and makes so much sense", tells me my insanity. i am not the one to decide.
we talked about dissociation and voices too. and we're both unusual in that regard. so she must know how this feels. to be forever suspended in unknowing. to rely on others to show you a way to live.
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relicsongmel · 8 months
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9 year-old Melanie 🤝 24 year-old Melanie
Being Mentally Unwell about the Mamma Mia soundtrack
#mel's musings#mamma mia#THE BROADWAY ONE. not the movie one (although i like a lot of those renditions too)#but yeah i was raised on that soundtrack from an extremely young age despite not being allowed to see the show/movie for years#i had a pink ipod nano in 3rd-4th grade and that shit was ALL i listened to#and because i knew almost nothing about the plot at the time#little autistic mel tried incorporating her barbie 12 dancing princesses hyperfixation into the songs. somehow#(do NOT ask me how the fuck that worked. i don't have an answer for you. ANYWAY)#i had a shirt with the words “dancing queen” on it as a little girl. that is MY song and always will be#and as an adult i've discovered the name of the game is also a me song. as well as a sylvia song#i used to skip over slipping through my fingers as a kid since it made me cry. even though i never really paid attention to the lyrics then#but NOW??? i still cry. because i think of my mom. and the fact that she's the reason i'm so attached to these songs in the first place ;_;#and i have learned absolutely nothing from when i was nine because i am STILL tying my hyperfixations to these songs#and i assure you i am normal about narumitsu singing take a chance on me. i am SO normal i swear#and while it doesn't QUITE match up with how i picture the timeline of their relationship#the idea of phoenix having a mamma mia moment when miles comes back in jfa is fucking hilarious to me#GO LISTEN TO MAMMA MIA. come be feral with me it's beautiful here#music nerd shit
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running-in-the-dark · 9 months
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today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)
I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).
first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.
when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!
#like I know alllll about her other friends and their shitty behaviour#and just. it's exhausting#it's also exhausting telling her over and over again that she is too nice. yes being nice is good and all but she lets people walk all over#her and afterwards she goes 'oh well I guess it was probably just because [they had a bad day/other thing that happened/I said the wrong#thing]'. I do that too! but it's just EVERYTHING. always. even when someone is CLEARLY being shitty to her. like her shitty friends. she#will still excuse their behaviour#it just makes me sad man.#buuut#like come on maybe let me talk about my stupid tv show for 5 minutes and try to seem a little interested? I know it's irrelevant I know no#one cares but damn you really can't pretend?? I've mentioned it before a couple times on the phone and she's always just vaguely like 'ah#that sounds interesting' WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IT'S ABOUT. but she doesn't ask what it's about so. I just stop#talking about it and we change topics.#like. yeah I know it's a bit weird that I'm in my 30s and that is one of the most important things in my life rn but. that's how I am. it's#always been that way. and my other friends care (or at least pretend to because they care about *me*)#so it feels pretty shitty!#like if I can look at 15 pictures of how big her fucking plants and herbs are getting. idk maybe ask one question about my show.#or like. even things like our new apartment and stuff. she listened and everything. but it's just. there's no interest there really. just#live 'oh that's nice :)' and we move on to the next topic again#idk man it makes me a bit sad (and I know it's ironic because I say she needs to acknowledge that people don't treat her well but. I mean I#do know this isn't great. and I limit my communication with her to a level that doesn't feel too exhausting. so. idk I feel like it's#different or whatever. buut really I just don't have many friends and I get lonely and it's better to listen to someone talk about#themselves all the time than not talking at all)#okay I'm gonna shut up now#and anyway I'm just exhausted and it's all very fresh rn and I'm incredibly tired so I'm very grumpy. usually it's really not that bad.#I just needed to vent I guess#okay bye and goodnight and I will stop talking now I swear#personal
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kittlyns · 2 years
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Coming to the realization that I'm never going to be a fun aunt to my friends' babies because I always feel like I'm losing more than I'm gaining
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idrawsometimes · 2 years
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Linktober Day 24: Dream
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