#that's just how I'm making it unsearchable

[gloriousmonsters]

subjective opinions if people enjoyed it and got something out of it I'm glad I know my reaction is very much colored by personal feelings etc etc, but it's still such a shock to see people cite mon:strous regim/ent as a great pratchett novel for Queer Reasons or say they like it for that because when I read it I liked the anti-war bits but it's still my least favorite di/scworld book ever because of how all the gender stuff is played. like. so much of it just felt like 'yes, the only reason girls would be would be masculine IS to Escape Femininity, and the only reason you'd STAY 'a man' is because you'd be a failure as a woman'. also the contrast between the commonly labeled transfem narrative of the dwarves being 'they were female all along and are fighting to express it' vs the commonly-labeled transmasc MR being being at least on paper about Women Pretending To Be Men... feels bad yknow

[spockandawe]

Oh my god, y'all. Forgive me if I'm being redundant, but I think i may have forgotten to post one of my BIG projects?? I just tried to look for this in my archives, and it should have gone up around March 17, but I... can't find it, it's not in my mdzs tag, it doesnt show up when i search yapp, and I was, uh. Arguably very distracted because I made this as emergency distraction material right before a big family funeral! SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO. My first take on single volume Mo Dao Zu Shi

One main goal: rigid yapp edges. Some people may quibble about whether that's the right name if they're rigid, but shhhh shh shh, bookbinding already has reached a critical volume of unsearchable key terms, like 'square' and 'shoulder,' I deserve this one, and not the unbearably generic term that slides right off my brain. And resources on how to do any edge overhangs are... thin on the ground, so hell yeah, let's smash em together.

Like one person online, a Finnish poet bookbinder or something, had an example of crisp rigid edges like these, but no clues on the how-to other than that 'yapp' term. I was only a baby bookbinder. I'm not even sure I was backing books yet when I saw it. But i REMEMBERED. And after figuring out boxes a little bit, i felt confident enough to go for it! I used guidance from one of my box making books for how to cover the edges nicely, and heyyyy, it worked!

Now.... mistakes were made. I was looking for trimming alternatives for chunky books that weren't chisels or sanding. Trying to fit different halves of my book into the guillotine then sand the sin out of it was... not the answer. Faux suede was also a mistake. I love it to bits, but it is possibly the LEAST forgiving material in the world for glue squishing onto the nice side of your material, and I sure picked some complex surfaces to cover with it. And also, the yapp edges are a little large. A little intrusive! I wanted them to be proportional with the thickness, and neglected proportional with my hands XD

It's no biggie, this whole thing was something I chose as a learning project, and man, I learned a LOT. I do love it a lot too! The faux suede feels great, the endpapers are great, and red foil on maroon fabric worked out super cool. I'm not going to repeat myself, which is why new mdzs is partially re-typeset, the binding will be different, and my next yapp edge project will be something new. But I'm so fond of this silly thing! Especially the surprise skeleton hands on the back, ahahahaha

[atthebell]

do people understand that your reblog tags on a post do not impact whether or not a post goes into the main tag. like it does not matter how many times people in my notes tag a post of mine with "qsmp" or whatever the tag is, it's not going into that main tag; that's not how browsing tags work. the ONLY way a post goes into a browsible tag is by OP putting the tags on the original post.

relatedly, do people understand that tag blocking functions the opposite way-- if someone tags "discourse" on a post at any time, it is immediately blocked for anyone who has "discourse" on their filtered tags list. does not matter what op tagged, does not matter who puts it on your dash from that point forward, the tag is on the post so it's going to be filtered. this is how i end up not seeing a lot of those big "tag a piece of media that--" posts; it's because i have a lot of things blocked, so anytime a single person tags any of them on a post, i have the whole post blocked. [and i use xkit rewritten, which means i don't even see the post at all]

also related-- there is a difference between actually browsing a tag and searching a phrase-- tumblr has made it kind of strange to tell the exact difference, so i'll demonstrate:

so when i type in "qsmp fanart", it gives me a couple of options.

first, i can click "Go to #qsmp fanart", which will take me to the tag "qsmp fanart":

rad, exactly what i'm looking for, i'll scroll through latest to see what people have posted in the last couple hours.

however, secondly, it gives me the option "[search] qsmp fanart", which is NOT the same thing as opening the tag itself. it will open the search function and look up "qsmp fanart," meaning it grabs whatever assortment of posts tumblr's broken search engine has decided mention "qsmp fanart":

[most of said posts are, in fact, qsmp fanart, as the way tumblr's search indexing works does include searching tags, but it also searches post content. i'm censoring because posting screenshots of people's art feels iffy to me, not because i have any issue with the art itself.]

these two things are NOT the same. one of these takes you do the actual tag, the other makes you search for those terms mentioned on a post. which, like i said, means it indexes not just the tags but the post content itself-- this means any mention of said search term on a post means it could be seen in this search (unless OP has their blog marked unsearchable). for a while, as well, tumblr made this the default whenever you pressed enter rather than manually clicking an option, meaning people would think they were opening the tag to browse it but instead were searching for whatever they entered. i believe they've fixed that now, or at least one of my extensions has; regardless, clicking the # option will get you to the right place.

this is, in part, how i think we get people going "you put neg in the main tag!!!" which, while it does happen often, is not always the issue; what actually happened is tumblr actually had them search for the term mentioned in the tag rather than going into the tag itself. regardless of this issue, though, i think it's just good for people to understand the difference between when they're searching posts (not very helpful at times, doesn't get you much of what you're probably looking for depending on the search term, drags up every single post (that tumblr can actually index properly) that mentions the term) versus when they're opening the tag (OPs here clearly actually want you to see their posts).

[heterophobicdyke]

how do you feel about the whole crushes on fictional characters being relevant to your sexuality thing? like animated or drawn characters not characters played by real people or super realistic video game characters. i’ve had women tell me they are bisexual because they like quote unquote anime titties but hate the idea of engaging sexually or romantically with a real woman and im like hmm you are heterosexual

i think some people can get some pavlovian horny response to porn queues (like big perky pornified unrealistic anime breasts on childlike figures wearing school uniforms) without actually being interested in the bio sex it's associated with. like how so many TIMs are anime addicts who want to see themselves as their own personal porn moodboard. bc so much of anime is extremely objectifying and reductive and quite honestly pedophilic

it's also kinda like how so many bisexuals assumed they were lesbian and start identifying as one while they were coming of age during covid. bc there wasn't any male or female actual bodies around to test their actual body reaction to lmao. it was all hypothetical and ofc men fkn suck so they assumed their feminist hatred of men (positive) was a sign they weren't attracted to them (not true). so many young "lesbians" then came out as bi when they made it out of their covid bunker into the real world and realised that no amount of man-hate can stop ur body reacting to male bodies if u are attracted to them. it's not all comphet

i'm just gonna address the kittyit shit here because it's all kinda combined, on the topic of comphet:

now this is gonna be controversial af but..... i think a lot of actual attraction to men is chalked up to comphet on radblr (and off radblr tbh, that masterdoc done fucked us). like at the time kittyit essentially admitted she was polilez yeaaaaars ago (posts unsearchable/deleted for obv reasons) she was also making/reblogging many posts about OUT LESBIANS still being lesbians despite fucking men bc it can be a comphet response or some shit:

maybe these women have complicated feelings about men and don't want to be attracted to them but are? like why is it always assumed that "lesbians" who keep fucking men despite identifying as lesbian are actually lesbian??? im not talking about women who forced themselves to fuck men to "try it" or due to heteronormativity, before consciously acknowledging their lesbianism, that is a different story, but like no i'm sorry. lesbians don't feel some compulsion to fuck men (how do u separate that from actually wanting to? many traumatised women DO still wanna fuck men?) and not all of those desires are extreme mental illness and trauma... some are actual attraction. i think there's such shame about this (perhaps very minimal!) attraction to men (the shame is the trauma speaking) that they'd rather convince themselves they're lesbian with trauma-induced compulsions to fuck men than actually be attracted to them? sounds mean but yea nah

but i'm always suss of ppl who identify as a "lesbian feminist" (not just a lesbian who is a feminist but an actual Lesbian Feminist) because

and the whole "born this way is simply saying we are genetically flawed" is straight outta sheila jeffrey's mouth (sorry it's pink the user @regina-geourge has since deleted the post - she had a whole post with screens where kittyit said she believes lesbianism is a trauma response and chalks up her actual attraction to men as socially constructed: https://regina-geourge.tumblr.com/post/190883567207/first-ive-heard-of-kittyit-being-a-polilez-do-u). this is only part of the post:

this (too pink) post from kittyit says: "it's just so crazy to me how when a lesbian questions the "born this way" narrative, even if done carefully, briefly and thoughtfully, there are a bunch of other lesbians there to say immediately & outright that she must not be a lesbian. certainly those who oppose political identifications with sexuality must know that's not how sexuality works, that a political opinion can't change your sexuality. there are conservative lesbians, lesbians who support & endorse cotton ceiling, lesbians who are anti-abortion, white-supremacist lesbians, lesbians who hold all manner of beliefs from horrifically offensive & oppressive to bizarre & upsetting to me personally. it doesn't change that any of them are lesbians, women who date/love/fuck women." [ME: bisexual women can also date/love/fuck women, lesbianism is defined by the lack of male attraction not by WHO you date/love/fuck - or else lesbians stuck in a forced/arranged het marriage wouldn't be real lesbians]

"[contd] personally, i believed i was born this way as a lesbian child living in an abusive, conservative christian household. before i hit an age of double digits i was on my knees crying & pleading with the christian god to explain to me why i was made this way. and now that i've grown up, i don't know! i don't know if there's a biological component to lesbianism. i don't know what's nature, what's nurture, if i live with a birth defect that has been diagnosed by torturing, murdering male medical providers as homosexuality, which, of course, is a diagnosis we now reclaim."

HOMOSEXUALITY EXISTED, ALBEIT WITHOUT A NAME, BEFORE IT WAS "DIAGNOSED AS A DEFECT." it looks like the christian god still isn't outside her head because the only way it makes sense to see born-this-way homosexuality as first and foremostly a "defect" is to trust the words of those male leaders, doctors and gods, over what we know to be true - that there is nothing wrong or holding us back (science/biologically wise) by being homosexual. why would there be?

this is the exact argument sheila jeffreys makes when she says she would rather "choose" to be a lesbian, something she sees to be a powerful feminist opportunity, rather than be born "defected." jeffreys also hates gay men because they further prove that there is a class of people, both male and female, who were born only interested in the same sex since birth for whatever reason (there are many evolutionary reasons when the world is not short of those who can reproduce lmao and we've evolved beyond needing piv for that but anywaaaaay). jeffreys' theory that lesbianism is a feminist choice rather than an innate trait (value-neutral) translates to gay men as "men choosing men, therefore woman-hating and debauched."

it's just classic homophobia: "lesbians are traumatised man-haters, that's why they "choose women," and gay men are overly male-identified (despite being gnc af and not out there raping women) and therefore are sick and perverted sexist freaks." there are many sources out there for sheila pretty much saying this straight up

sick of self-hating bisexuals tbh

[scenetocause]

hiii i was just wondering if it was you that wrote the max/ lando/ luisa fic where they changed genders? and max like stays a girl? i’ve been back reading nortrell and absolutely loved reading this one the first time. i can’t find the fic anymore and if it was you that wrote it, did you delete it?

it was me! it is here. also your other ask led to me looking at it and being like on what planet did i rate this mature it's got like, several dp scenes haha what.

for something that was pure whimsy cus someone on a discord server was like lol there should be mandinha sex swap fic it's one of my favourites. in retrospect it probably should have been clearer to me that i am not at all cis earlier on lol.

here's a little drabble to make up for making my own fic completely fucking unsearchable with my bizarro rating assessments. ("nsfw i guess" there)

It's not exactly news that Lando likes tits. Especially Max's. So she could've thought through wearing a bikini a bit more thoroughly but Lando's been away for weeks and Luisa's been on Strictly or whatever and there frankly hasn't been nearly enough attention on her from either of them.

And it's the first sunny day in London for ages. She'd definitely have her top off if she was a boy right now, so she can lie on the sofa in a sunbeam soaking up the warmth if she wants.

Until Lando's blocking the light, anyway, eyes crinkled with glee. "Maxy, oh my god."

"What? Get out of the sunbeam, mate, you're in the way."

Lando ignores her but does at least crouch down so he can trail his hand up Max's waist, cup his stupidly massive palm over her tit. "You're so hot."

"I'm fucking freezing actually, it was nice in the sun but some bloke's fucked that up."

Lando just rolls his eyes, picks Max up off the sofa with an ease she's still not sure if she's jealous of or can't help enjoying. It takes her breath away a little bit, sometimes, that the guy so tiny he had to be velcro-ed into a fucking kart could throw her around, now.

Even if the way her body changed was different (sudden, all at once, no years of carving muscle in the gym) it's crazy to think how much they've grown, still with each other. Makes her a bit soppy about it, maybe, so she has to hide her face in Lando's hoodie while he's putting her down on the bed and then tucking her in.

"Warm now?" He's a fucking weapon, this guy. Lying on top of the duvet, on Max, so she's basically pinned down.

"Be warmer if you got in, Bob." She's missed him. Got to into her own head while he was off driving laps of Bahrain and making heart-eyes at a more successful ex-Renault junior.

Lando relents easily because she's going to let him fuck her. Might even be up for anal, if he wants that. Sometimes they like it, as a throwback to how they used to fuck and Lando's dick feels pretty good anywhere.

Under the duvet his hands get everywhere, undoing the ties on Max's (well, Luisa's) bikini and slipping it off her, down into the foot of the bed somewhere.

"God. Your tits are so great." Lando's doing something with his mouth, between them, that's really not very far off motorboating and Max would object but it's the weird attention she's been craving. All Lando shit, unfocussed and a bit mental.

"D'you think you could do F1 Academy?" Obviously that's the kind of mad thing Lando asks when they're about to fuck.

"Bob, no. I don't know? Maybe." Callum could probably ask. She might, just to race again. Maybe. Maybe she could actually take a fight to Doriane. Or, mortifyingly, find herself massively off the pace. It's a big gamble.

"Could be the Silverstone wildcard. Be all sexy, we can both win." Alright, Mr confidence.

"Don't think they're racing there." Max kisses him, tries to get Lando's brain back on the job at hand by stroking his dick through his joggers. "C'mon, make me come and then I'll show you what Connor's done to his hair."

[fantasyfantasygames]

Timebreakers

Timebreakers, Uwe Jones, 2017

A lot of time travel games involve you effectively playing the time cops. You're putting things back "the way they should be". Timebreakers is not that kind of game. Timebreakers is a time-travel heist game where you seek to disrupt very specific events in very specific ways.

See, you can't just go around murdering people. That's going to cause too much change. All sorts of unrelated things go out of wack when big important people, events, or objects ("keystones") go missing. You have goals that involve keeping the good parts of the world in place. You need to be in just the right place, at just the right time, to make the small change that snowballs into the perfect effect. Well, maybe not perfect, but better anyway.

The mechanics for the game are fairly typical for a modern-day expert-level game. You have seven mental / physical / social stats, some skills, and advantages. (No disadvantages in this one.) They're rated 1-20. The system is roll-under, blackjack style. Failures on Stress Rolls (rolls made in combat or under life-or-death situations) cause Stress conditions, which penalize your attributes in specific ways. For instance, the moderate-level Sprained Leg condition penalizes all your attributes in the short term, and your Speed in the long term. There's a bit of a death spiral. There are also Juncture points, which let you do dramatic editing. You build those up by making changes to the timeline.

The mechanics of time travel involve an "operator" in the future pulling you back and forth. It's very Matrix-feeling. The GM always plays the operator, which kind of feels like a missed opportunity. There's often static on the line, and your communications device has to be either in your ear (which means people can spot it) or built into your clothing (which means someone might damage it or take it away), so you can't always jump. It's mostly a mercy-of-the-dice thing. You don't track things as carefully as Continuum does, but it's not as anything-goes as Time Liner.

The art is thin-line drawings of time travelers doing things in the past, sometimes with a chain of them all doing the same thing or reversing it back and forth. Part modern comics, part art nouveau. I think it might be a very-well-employed vector graphics bundle, but I'm not 100% sure. It's very sparse - there are only six pieces throughout the book. The layout is not great. It uses a single column across a full-sized page, which is hard to read.

The book has an antagonist section, with 19th-century stats and directions for how to alter them for previous eras. There are, naturally, time cops to deal with, but one of the potential paths you can take is to neuter them first. The GMs section gives about a dozen different "chains of coincidence" you can meddle with and that's one of them. Meddle with it wrong and you end up having to time-cop yourselves!

Timebreakers is hidden away on DriveThru. There's a typo in the name that makes it unsearchable due to a non-ASCII character.

[ellorypurebloodculture]

Hey!

I really like your works. Your magic and traditions lore is magnificent. I hope inspiration is always stays with you and writing process won't trouble you.

I would like to make a request. Can you, please, start adding character name tags of main pairing to the work's summary going forward?

It's fine if it's by design somehow or you don't wanna. It's just... It delights me to no ends how many amazing works you have that I can read and reread, but trying to find works with specific character is arduous as profile filters are unsearchable. I won't bother you with a request to retroactively change descriptions is definitely too much to ask, but I hope a few tags in newly written work is something workable.

Sorry for the bother. This ask is a mess. I hope you don't mind. I am big fan of well defined internally consistent lore and find you very inspiring.

💜💜

Hi Anon!

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoy my stories.

I put the pairings in the tags only. You can search the tags for that specific pairing on my profile by filtering them if you want to narrow them down. 😊

I'm not one to do summaries styled as:

Summary. Draco x Female Harry. etc.

[decepti-thots]

I wonder if age/generation has a lot of bearing on the decrease of fandom meta; like, the age of understood concepts/etiquette like “don’t like don’t read” or simply choosing not to interact w interpretations you don’t like aren’t really a thing anymore. People in general seem to have gotten way more aggro with conflicting ideas/interpretations and specific “fanon” tends to get established very decisively. Not to mention the larger internet culture has changed to be so, idk, personal? like sometimes i just see how younger people behave/interact on twitter or tiktok and they can be SO aggressive and eager to make someone out in the worst light possible, stuff like that, idk if this makes sense but yeah. culture changes, I guess

Oh, I have to disagree with you anon. "Don't like don't read" started because people had to be told that, told it often, told it frequently. The flamewars back in the day about things as innocuous as "who tops" were once legendary, after all. My experiences on LJ were full of constant drama, much of it nasty as fuuuuuck. Back in my day, making someone's beloved blorbo gay could get you death threats.

I don't think what has changed is any of that as much as the delivery mechanism. What did used to be easier, IME, was choosing how and where to interact to minimize unwanted contact with the people having those bad faith arguments, and the way those arguments were confined to static spaces once upon a time. Web 2.0 didn't make people act worse, but it did make sure that folks acting badly were algorithmically boosted on basically every platform. It's the reblog thing again, isn't it? A stupid take on a forum or a personal blog or even a community might get linked around (who else was there for fandom_wank, shout out), but it didn't get endlessly reproduced. I am wary of arguments fandom culture got "more toxic" in the abstract because I think it obfuscates the role that centralized platforms and especially the corporate idea of "user content" as something to be treated as a kind of resource to be exploited play in our current... situation? Twitter needs a main character to boost engagement to sell ads in a way that web 1.0 spaces just couldn't dream of. And the end result for everyone is that by design, avoiding the nobodies with rancid takes and ongoing drama is simply not possible now. No closed ecosystems. There's a reason the very common request for Tumblr to implement a "make this post unsearchable" function is unlikely to happen. (I'm still astonished they gave in on reblog controls, frankly.)

[bleedingcoffee42]

Yep, both is good.

But for sure you can't not have feelings about him, because he really is fascinating and very human (his tvpersona and the real guy).

For me he was like an onion. I didn't expect to like him at the beginning (another typical sociopath soldier bot) but then I realized it was a layer he put on himself and it hepled him to do his job and there were more layers and the dude was complexed as hell. Plus as I love the bigass events (Foy, finding that surgeon) but what always got me, were the lil things, like sending Shifty home, holding Chuck's hand or staying for the boys in the army to the end. Or trying and failing to steal Perconte's lighter. Honey....

Lol, Easy was like, ok we thought he was the toughest sonofabitch in the army, in reality he is but also is a weirdo with questionable hobbies and poor social skills, so let's play along to keep his mighty reputation. And then someone says something bad about him and the company is after that folk's blood, because, as you said, he was their Captain (ok, that's may be my headcanon).

Matheson sounds like a dude who would not fit in modern times. While Sparky probably would thrive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I'm amazed how well they created him in the show with such small screentime. A big cheer for Matt too, because HOT DAMN, the role of his life.

He is!! And I'm just impressed as hell with the fact he never really said anything to correct any of the information, just rolled with it. Yet he's outraged when two lines are inaccurate about his ex-wife. Even with info from some family and records, interviews, I see so much conflicting info. And going through the BoB boxes I have seen so much gossip about guys they actually like, makes you wonder how much things spiraled with someone who was a ghost story.

I do like that most of the guys who were present for stuff are on the "I'm not giving details, but he did it, but he was still an amazing CO and that's that." It threw Ambrose for a loop because he didn't get how you could have both. Lol.

Matheson's comments were so definitive and weird. 'His problem was WOMEN.' okay? Elaborate. 'he's been married four times'. That's it? That's your problem? It means is it weird he kept tabs on him after the war? I know he ran into/away from him when he spotted him in DC in the 60's. (it's early I hope I'm not getting him mixed up w/someone else.)

I also like how he transitions from writing his full name to 'Sparky' in letters to Dick as their pen pal relationship spirals into 'Dick, you're a pain in the ass'. He's got a nickname for the guy they knew, and uses it. Even to the point of telling them to leave him out of the BoB stuff because they just are going to find someone to play 'Sparky'. Not Ron, who is holding his 'World's best Grandpa' mug and throwing the letter in the mailbox before hanging out with his grandkids.

IDK, a lot of the focus over the years has been 'OMG did he really kill those people' and not 'Sparky, what level of intelligence were you involved in when you were with Battalion?'. You don't just pick some random officer to serve at Spandlau prison. Even if he took language courses to apply for the job. Not when you're hoping he can get some info out of the Russians too. His Hospital admission cards are [Blank] in Fold3, unsearchable by name. Service number on other records not what is on the copies of Docs from the National Archives on the Speirs website. Only that number will land you on his WW2 Hospital cards. Not to throw out conspiracies, but WTF.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurahi When They Cry Ch. 1 Onikakushi part 5

In which things really start popping off.

I wonder if there's going to be any real narrative pay off for why Mion calls herself "this old man." Or if it's just a choice they made translating it.

I get the feeling if this were made today there would've been a single jumpscare screen where Mion's eye is seen in an extreme close up through the door.

My how scandalous, that's what they did to Tomitake?

Can I just say that I extremely dislike when anyone decides they need to censor kill, die, dead, etc.? I try to not complain about it happening on twitter, or youtube, or what have you. People have this notion that you can't say these things for fear of the fickle spirit of the internet machine silencing your posts or videos or whatever, and making them basically unviewable or unsearchable. But to engage in this level of silly self-censorship in your Mature rated game that is in theory being marketed towards adults is just such a bizarre thing to do. Especially since earlier in the game you have characters talking in earnest about bloody dismemberments, and other types of death including clawing out ones own throat. Doubly especially since in this very chapter detective Ooishi and Keiichi talk about Tomitake's death and use the words kill, and dead.

In the other post I mentioned that I couldn't remember if Mion had a gun in the anime version of Higurashi. I'm fairly confident she did, so in that case did they just erase her gun when they did the new art when they brought the game to GOG and Steam? Is this in fact the dread spectre of censorship? I'm not trying to beat my chest and harrumph and decry those darned monsters at mangagamer for censoring my beloved visual novels or anything of the sort. It just strikes me as utterly pointless to suddenly now, ten hours into the VN decide that the word killed is the worst thing the reader could read.

I admire the sheer dogged tenacity VN protags have to willfully and completely act like terrifying situations didn't just happen to them.

The will to try to self-deceive only goes so far. Eventually you must face reality. They're trying to kill you man! At the very least send you a message about shutting your damn trap!

I think things are going to be okay for young Keiichi Maebara!

[finalshaper]

about the pro shipping post you are so fucking right. when i was 16 i had proship dni on an aesthetic blog that i ran and i had multiple people harassing me for it over months. i've also had them call me ableist and homophobic slurs and sexually harass me when i was 16-18 for untagged unsearchable posts that they had to have scrolled back months in my blog to find. i was in a fandom at the time that had a LOT of people like that and there were many other people who got worse and had proshippers being wildly racist to them. they say curate your online experience and then throw a fit when you actually do.

Hi i'm sorry I didn't respond to this sooner! I was most likely absorbed entirely in skyrim Once Again.

Yeah, the proship movement has a tendency to harbor the absolute worst people in fandom circles and when you say "Hey if your movement is Truly Safe for victims/people of color /disabled folks/kids/etc then why the fresh sam hill fuck are you harboring Actual Racists, Actual Pedophiles, And Actual Horrible People" they take it as "kys lol go die" and not a request to Actually examine how their stances on something as terminally online as shipping discourse and the culture that it founded has sheltered these types of people.

And it's this inaction and refusal to address it in favour of perceiving it as a siege in a war that isn't actually happening (for lack of a better way to word it, no, people aren't out to get you they're asking you to examine your fucking community and WHY so many people feel unsafe around it aside from other reasons) is why I, and so many others, are in dislike of proshipping culture aside from. well. gestures wildly to the rest of it.

They take it as a blow to their egos rather than a genuine honest "Hey if what you ship Truly Is Inconsequential why does the culture you cultivate harbor, say, Actual Offending Pedophiles or Those Pedophiles That Label Themselves As "No-Contact" For Some Reason As If That Makes It Less Bad that are utilizing fandom space and proship culture as a quick and easy way to get targets within their reach?"

Side tangent/note here: Over the years many people have said that I cannot be pro-dark media and anti-proship. These things are not mutually exclusive and many, and I mean MANY people in circles focussing on dark and transgressive media are FULLY AWARE of the connection between reality and fiction (and how they both affect one another, the best way I can word it is that if you focus on one color pallet soon your world will be monochromatic, you gotta learn to focus on all the colors. If you saturate your life with too much "dark" or distressing content it will color your worldview and that is not what life is about) and often emphasize the importance of this distinction.

They also do not go out of their way to overly-romanticize the content they read (the public perception/general society's consumption of Lolita [vladimir nobokov] has been a disaster for the human race. if u think lolita is supposed to be a cute romance story you're misinterpreting the book and need to step back and examine just why you think that way and actually sit down and analyze the book and humbert as a character dear god stop turning it into a cutesy coquette aesthetic, shanespeare has a fucking amazing video talking about it and as an added bonus it's shorter than the typical 4+ hour video essays I often indulge in) as they often know better to do so and shun the people who do, ESPECIALLY when you're talking about books like The Slob (Aron Beauregard, even though that novel is essentially misogyny, homophobia, gore porn, a lot of fatphobia and shit like that and is all-around poorly written)

proshipping culture also relies a lot on a fanfic/fanart medium which is a VASTLY inappropriate place to explore these things (on top of, well, the type of people the culture has a tendency to attract n shit vs transgressive/dark media corners) and People Do Not Want To See Headcanons About Their Favourite Characters Being Rapists And Shit Like That I Promise You You Aren't "Coping" You're Just Making (some not all) People Around You Uncomfortable And Fucking Miserable Because You Decided That Their Comfort Character Is A Shotacon Or Some Shit (and that is before I get into how unless that character is canonically a piece of shit, making x character into a freak is a gross mischaracterization).

People come into fandoms for escapism, or to enjoy characters and stories with people and, yes I am speaking from personal experience here not only as ex-proship but also someone who's been 'round the block when it comes to fandoms.

There is a difference between transgressive lit i.e Lolita and someone writing a fanfic about a father/daughter relationship and not in the wholesome familial way we all know and love. That is knowing your place, understanding that fandom is a WILDLY inappropriate place to explore these things (seriously people, just write an original book! you got it in you clearly! i believe in you and maybe if you do it right you'll write something that's very touching and profound and opens up a lot of conversations!) and that fiction and reality do in fact impact and shape each other in more ways than you'd initially assume.

anyways rant/tangent over, sorry I went on for so long, I'm Very passionate about this discussion despite everything that's happened to me at the hands of it.

[casinoroyale]

“Sapnap? Karl?” 

There’s no answer, only the sound of his own wavering voice echoing back. The other, weirder Karl was right. Nothing remains. Quackity’s hand finds his axe, clutching it tight to his chest as he treads further into Kinoko Kingdom. Each step sends shockwaves of dread throughout every nerve in his body. 

He stops at what can only be the pond weird Karl—yeah, he’ll just call him weird Karl from now on—was referencing. It’s barren, just like everything else. Fuck, there’s a lot of work to be done here. Between the houses in disarray, the dried-out mushrooms, and nature creeping in to reclaim the land- Quackity has his hands full. It’s not exactly prime real estate anymore, but a promise is a promise. He’s now, according to weird Karl, the owner of Kinoko Kingdom. Though he can’t imagine it as a suburb, or anything other than what it was, the least he can do is clean up the place. Opening his inventory stuffed with buckets, he sets off for the nearest water source. 

Bucket by bucket, he fills Karl’s pond until water laps at the edges. It’s a blur of repetitive movement, and Quackity blurs with it, drifting in and out of the task. He finishes as the sun dips closer to the horizon, soaked clothes clinging to his frame. 

Once the last bucket is emptied he collapses down by it, face hovering over the pond. Quackity watches his own rippled reflection open and close its mouth as if it wants to speak. What would that do, anyway? It’s not like Karl can hear him. It’s not like anyone can.

“Karl… I’m sorry.” But that too means nothing. It’s not weird Karl he should be apologizing to, and especially not to a fucking pond. His reflection carries on. “I’ll take care of Kinoko Kingdom. If you come back-” He won’t. Quackity won’t bet on them coming back. “-it’s gonna look better than it did.”

For a while he rests there, finally regaining the willpower to stand. His legs carry him up and down the desolate streets, though he’s not sure why. Quackity drifts through each building until the sky is a smear of dark purples and blues. There’s nothing of interest left, save a particularly unnerving library, and most of the houses have started crumbling in on themselves. Bits and pieces of shrooms are scattered across every surface. 

Eventually, only one house remains unsearched, the one he’s sure Sapnap used to sleep in. He coughs as the door swings open, spores and dust flying through the air. A chill runs down Quackity’s spine, not from the snow starting to drift down, but from the emptiness inside. The floor creaks underneath his boots as he makes his way to Sapnap’s room. It’s in a tumultuous state, as if he was in a hurry to leave- drawers left ajar, bedsheets flung to the side. There’s no sign of their rings, no sign of anything important. 

Quackity can’t help the way he hovers over the bed. It doesn’t smell like them anymore. Nothing does. In another life, he’s sandwiched between them here, tangled together in the sheets. The fabric burns in his hand, his eyes burn, everything burns. He has to go. Now. Quackity backs away, ready to turn tail and flee, but something catches his eye. 

There’s a note left out in the fading sunlight, paper yellowing and crumpled. Weird Karl must’ve missed it in his hungover state. Swallowing hard, he picks it up from the bedside table.

Quackity, Karl,

If you find this stay put. If you’re alive I'll find you. I'm looking for you. 

Love, 

Sapnap

His hands shake as he folds the note. It weighs heavy in his pocket. There’s no way to tell how long it’s been since Sapnap left, but if he’d sought out Quackity when Las Nevadas was empty, when he went searching for Charlie… Sapnap might not know he’s alive. He might not know Karl is dea- stuck. To Sapnap, he might be servers away and starting over. And if Sapnap is still alive, and actively searching, he could show up in Las Nevadas at any moment. 

He settles down on the edge of the bed, the urge to flee dissolving, hand resting over the note in his pocket. The sheets are still soft. Not as soft as the ones he shares with Wilbur, but soft all the same. What would they say, if they could see him now? Would they be proud, like weird Karl is? Would they be pissed that he moved on? That he’s happy with Wilbur? 

Questions, all unanswerable, buzz around in Quackity’s head. Outside the world continues on, without his ex-fiances. The snow continues to fall; the stars continue to brighten overhead. He can only do the same, feet carrying him out the door and away from the life he was never meant to live.

[cemeterylaned]

brain not want to write so bullet points

- simon meets monalisa like right before he decides to make abouthat

- or beginning of senior year but probably before

- monalisa new student at school and it's so weird she is virtually unsearchable and it makes him insane. no pictures of her online, and the only ones that do exist she doesn't even look at the camera or they're blurry. she has an instagram @monalikethepainting

- she moved from northern california! she's in a band! she plays electric guitar! she's artistic! she paints, writes, draws, sings, dances, yearbook! she's like all the muses in one!!

- simon knows she's coming and looks!! and digs anything he can about her but he's mad. he can't find anything!! only school journals about a band with her in it named hopeless romantics and it's so annoying he complains to janae and janae is like leave her alone she's good and simon is like no she has to be shitty everyone is. also what kind of name is monalisa like she's a fucking painting

- but he meets her and they have lunch together because he wants to know clues to look for her but she's so. nice and offers her lunch and they talk about having a peanut allergy "is that peanut butter? thanks but i'm okay" "it's not. i actually have a billion allergies" "oh okay. weird you'd offer me your lunch" . also okay maybe she is a painting. whatever. shut up

- either she knows absolutely nothing or she hears things and is like oh well. i don't know i've known you for like five minutes i think you're okay i guess . i do hear you're an asshole though but i don't think so

- they have journalism together and they talk sometimes. it's sickening now nice she is but it's such a genuine change of pace to have someone so disconnected from the 'typical high school experience' of being online

- but simon is horribly depressed and has been. janae knows this and also thinks it's annoying how bright and sunshiney mona is but simon was somehow less insufferable after journalism sometimes. and janae feels like she has been talking him off the edge for years

- "i literally can't find anything about her. it pisses me off" "why can't you fathom every nice person isn't fake" "because it just can't be right"

- mona invites him to poetry reads or to hang out at her house and usually no one is home because they work. they watch movies or she teaches him to play music or they write. she absolutely insists she isn't in love with him but she is. her sister is a senior and her boyfriend also hates simon (threatens to kick in his teeth regularly) (her sister's name is ginerva. monalisas full name is monalisa demoiselle hughes. humiliating)

- she is his biggest cheerleader and hates that she makes him think. (abouthat route) asking him why he does it and why it matters so much because high school is so small and trivial but he hasn't known anything else. he was never popular but when he wrote people hated him. and he's been so mentally unwell. and then there's her. but he can't fathom the idea of admitting it out loud

- he abandons abouthat partially mostly because his time is. occupied with her and he isn't around other people (in the route he does keep it or do it)

- people bug him about not writing anymore and he says he's busy. he picks up guitar and sings with her and their little band is just the romantics. he says because he doesn't feel hopeless with her. they're just """"good friends""""" . she tells him she felt the same way at a point where he wanted to die like he did. it makes them both really unwell and. it makes him mostly unwell because living past high school feels surreal and now its summer.

- summer to san franciso. mona apologizes in advance because its gross but they go to san jose and santa cruz and meet her other bandmates. weird. he feels out of place but in the right place at the same time. everything feels right!!!???

- simon and mona senior year. homecoming. janae clowns on simon because they match. janae warms up to mona but only because they're polar opposites. she never wears darker colors but they wear dark green and people are like god who is this guy. is this not the same guy that leaked the post about everyone cheating on each other or started fights . homecoming just as friends. it's getting harder now.

- simon mona talent show with their little band. simon mona spending more and more time at each others houses. mona's sister's boyfriend no longer wants to kick his teeth in (most of the time). they're so grossly comfortable with each other it's second nature to follow each other home but more often than not they're at her house because his house feels cold and unwelcoming . he sleeps on their couch because her sister would blow up a building if they shared a bed

- janae is like dude. are you okay and he's like no oh my god i have not felt love or compassion from anyone except you and you're gay. this girl is ruining my life and i can't make it stop because she makes me wanna throw up and delete social media and never touch it again and lay in the sun and think of nothing else and i can't imagine killing myself now because i don't know how i can think of leaving her and our little band and heaven knows i'm miserable now because she's all i can think of

- janae clowns on him. edgelord . please tell her you like her. he's like no that's the problem i am in love with her and it makes me nauseated

- no. i'm good. what the fuck do you mean you're good you are not well simon.

- abouthat (if that's the route) gets wiped off the face of the earth and he like clears his entire social media and it's similar to mona's. no notifications. he doesn't bother with anyone's business. people still beef with him. but. he's like yeah that was douchey. i thought it was better to have people know the truth rather than not and i didn't approach it right. (i also think this would be the apology tour if he kept it a secret that he wrote for abouthat and she found out but this is his enlightened apology tour)

- mona simon applying to colleges together. haha what if we went to the same one. haha i would be so happy. haha. ha.

- senior trip to disneyland!!!! ahahah!! janae is like not thrilled to third wheel but . she's like just tell her. oh my god you both make me sick.

- simon says no thank you. fireworks with mona before they go. i'm really glad i met you. i'm glad i met you too. they both feel it but no one will take the plunge. they fall asleep on each other on the bus

- prom prom prom. they know theyre going to the same college. they opened their acceptance letters at the same time. prom!! she convinces him to wear florals and they look so cute together. janae can come too. she wants to throw up. cheesy prom pictures. she keeps asking when is the time right and he's like i don't know.

- they drop janae home late as hell and he comes to drop her off and shes like. just stay. it'll be like any of our other sleepovers. but it really isn't and they share her bed and fall asleep face to face holding hands. wake up. oh my god

- he leaves because he's like dude fuck this is too close. graduation is soon. we have exams and i cannot admit to her i like her. she wakes up really sad because she can't admit to him because it'll ruin their friendship. things are weird. janae is like why are you being emo again dude what the fuck

- i slept at her house and held hands and fell asleep talking about our feelings but i don't want to fuck it up. bro you are fucking it up right now

- finals and exams. nervous glances in journalism looking at each other. she is SAD. sad. like she cried sad. she cries easily and he knows that from movies and talks but she looks like she had been crying for days. janae bullies his ass again. go fix this or i'm gonna put my foot up your ass. ok fuck

- meet me at our spot. cafe bookstore called writers block. she doesn't answer he just shows up snd hopes she comes. he waits. and waits. granted he was early. she comes and she just looks sick. hey. hey. are you okay? i don't know. why did you leave? i was scared. scared of what? waking up there with me? no. then what simon. what. i don't know. i have never felt cared about the way you and your scary ass sister snd her boyfriend care about me. there's janae but you know. yes she's gay. i know simon.

- okay well. you make things not hopeless and i really do think i was going to kill myself and now i don't or can't imagine doing it now. and it's weird if you told freshman me i'd be in some two person band or picking colleges and going to dances i'd tell you you're fucking insane and that isn't who i am because everyone is fake and nobody can be honest. but you were. you were honest. and nice. and shared your stupid edamame with me and told me you were allergic to peanuts. our epipens looked the same. i thought you were too good to be true and i think i love you

- i love you. i hate that you left and i've been waiting for over a year to tell you i liked you or loved you because i didn't want you to think of me differently if you didn't like me that way. i was sick to my stomach you left without a word.

- i know. i'm sorry. i love you.

- i love you.

- graduation and college!!!!!

[dervampireprince]

just letting you know, "trans man x male" is an extremely gross way to put that.

and as a trans man i am aware of this, but when i post things i am using pre-existing tags that have already been made by the gwa subreddits i post the audios on and i can't deviate from that, and i use the same tags when i post audios on here and youtube because that's what tags are already known and used. of course i'd rather it be trans male x cis male, but i'm a trans man using tagging systems made by cis people and if i start putting TM4CM they will either be unsearchable, or on some subreddits won't even be allowed. as a trans man trying to make money that i need to live off of this please tell me how else i can do this because sadly i can't just start my own way of tagging things and hope people follow suite because no one else will copy me, i'm not well known.

do you think it doesn't make feel sick every time i use these tags? of course it does. i'm a trans man and i know that the word 'male' includes trans and cis men. do you think i enjoy using these tags? and i know if i used M4M and then boom surprise one of them is trans i would get so many transphobic comments from people who came expecting two cis male characters, i already get transphobic comments all the time.

any disgust towards this tagging system would be better aimed at the people who made it rather than the trans people who have to conform to it.

i'm sorry to anyone who disagrees with how i tag things with these tags i didn't create, and i'm very sorry for any trans people who are hurt by these tags. if i was in some position of authority online to change them and magically make every asmr and audio creator across reddit and youtube change them, then i would, but as i can't do that i'll continue to use them. i don't know what i can do to make these tags not upset people but also like... make a living? because these audios are a chunk of my income and i struggle to get other work for multiple reasons part of which is being trans so like i can't change the way i tag things or i literally will struggle to pay rent. that's the actual realness of it. as stupid and chronically online as that sounds. and maybe that makes me selfish, okay. so be it.

but please at least know and realise i'm not using these tags out of transphobia, but am using them as a trans man who doesn't have the clout to change things and is too worried about losing followers and income if i no longer use the standard audio tagging system that is used everywhere across different websites. and if you think that's wrong of me, okay. but know that i also think it's a gross way to put things and that i'm a trans content creator and not a transphobe.

this was probably too long of a response. but if anyone asks this again, as it has been asked before, i'm just going to link back to this ask. i hope people understand my reasons for using the tags, even if you don't like that i use them.

[goldenworldsabound]

Also also imagine a world where I'm not the only one making Clayman fanart

Imagine how feral I would be

I go to his tag here and on ao3 and it's literally just me. Twt is unsearchable though I did find an artist and a fan! But naturally they ship him in all sorts of absurd ships (including with Laplace which I'm like technically they maybe aren't literally brothers but they are brothers to me so no wlsvsjgd) 😓

I love him though 🥺 so I'll make the content

[swampgallows]

Hello! Could I please ask you to not add / into tags, if I filter 'body horror' tag and you add the /, I'm still gonna see the post. Or if I could ask what's the trend with the slash anyway because I do see a lot of people doing in and I'm just curious like why so

hi!! first i want to apologize that it wasnt being filtered, im extremely sorry for that. i will tag body horror in complete now.

as for why i do it: this is a custom from before tumblr had its own filtering system and users relied on addons. i still use xkit rewritten for my blacklist since it's been imported from other addons over the years, and im primarily a desktop tumblr user.

the slash and other keysmashes ("body horror /", "body horror slkjfslkfjsd") are used with the intention that the post will be filtered, but not appear in a blog's own tags or the tumblr tags.

for example: i post stuff about teeth a lot. i have a "teeth" tag which is for cool teeth images, and a "dentistry" tag for dental info as ive been interested in a dental career. if i post about how my teeth are bugging me again, i might tag it "dentistry /" or "teeth /", as it will be filtered by a blacklist, but it won't show up in the tags on my own blog for "teeth" or "dentistry"; those will stay as just pics and info. for anyone following the tag "dentistry" on tumblr, they won't see a random post of me complaining when they're trying to find actual info. (also, in the past it was said people might purposefully trigger themselves by browsing a blog's tag, so adding extra characters or slashes would filter it on the dash but make it 'unsearchable'.)

however, tumblr's search and tagging system has changed over time, and browsing blogs is usually done within tumblr as part of the dashboard instead of opening in a new tab as an external site. so now when people search a blog it "searches" the entire post instead of just the tags like it used to, so this kind of tagging is specific to filtering the dash and tidying up the external site.

for tumblr's filters, i would recommend adding the phrase "body horror" into the blacklist POST filter, not just tags. that way it will search the entire post, including the tags, for the phrase. i dunno if their blacklist has a wildcard option like the addons do, but filters like "spider*" would catch spider, spiders, spider tw, spiders tw, spiderman, spiderweb, etc. more info on tumblr's filter system here.