#that's kinda what my journey was internally anyways

[deoidesign]

Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?

Thank you so much!

To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.

It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!

(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)

What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!

However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)

So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)

1: Separate study from application

I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:

If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring

It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time

Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time

Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!

I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.

When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!

2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"

This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.

If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!

The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!

My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.

But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)

Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!

I hope this helps!

[doobea]

DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE

synopsis: Being a college student sucks. Having a crush on your best friend also sucks. Your best friend having a crush on your other best friend is . . . kinda the worst. In which, Reo is hopelessly in love with you but you’re hard crushing on Nagi.

-> MASTERLIST. -> PLAYLIST.

contents: second lead syndrome feat. fem!reader & reo, heavy narration in the beginning as per usual whoops, also in an au where bluelock never happened LOL, grandparental meeting, reo x stardew valley vibes, of course y/n and reo get together duh, nagi's been shipping them together since high school word count: 3.9K a/n: FINAL PART OUT YAY :3 thank you for joining me on this journey hehe this was also my first time attempt of writing reo so hopefully his characterization went ok ;-;

VEGA -> prev.

You get the feeling that Nagi is up to something, after a while.

Well, Nagi is always up to something — gaming and dozing off, to be exact. This time, though, all of his attention seems to be fixated on you.

“That’s not your sweater,” he says, pointedly, one day, when you waltz into their apartment with a handful of pastries. You decided to make a detour trip to a local bakery earlier in the morning, carefully curating the palettes of the two males because —well— after that happened you felt like a small offering would be needed in a way. 

Like how many others delegate, the kiss was rather… confusing to all. Nagi doesn’t bring it up when you three all return back to festival grounds, nor does he bring it up to Reo when you finally go home. Reo’s been texting you like all things are normal, and you guess it’s because he doesn’t really know what to do either. Though, he’s been more endearing than usual over text, which you take as a sign that something is progressing.

Let’s just say that it’ll be weird for you to wake up without a ‘good morning, did you eat yet?’ text from a certain billionaire’s son.

Backstory aside, Nagi’s not lounging around for once. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter with a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hands from a brand you’re not familiar with. Judging by its fine print font and pastel color scheme, you assumed that Nana stopped by not too long ago. And his gaze isn’t leaving your sweater. Whatever, you’re probably not wearing it correctly anyway. Stupid rich people problems.

“It’s Reo’s,” you say, lightly, and scoot by him to place down the baked goods. “He accidentally gave me his sweater when he returned my things, that’s all.” 

It wasn’t an accident. Reo had made sure to spray that sweater with all the cologne he had. The sweater is warm, comfortable, and smells just like him. It’s nice.

Nagi gives you a look. It’s not a strong look, but it’s obvious enough to make your cheeks heat up. “Uh huh,” he deadpans before giving you a full up-down. “You’re wearing it, though.”

“Yeah, I am,” you shrug it off, trying to pretend that you don’t understand what the big deal was. 

Okay, yeah, your best friend suddenly kisses you and now you’re rethinking about your life choices since high school because you were so sure that you liked his other friend. And the fact that you kissed back? Was that supposed to happen? And you didn’t wear this sweater today in hopes of Reo seeing you, nope that’s not it. Reo doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy because this sweater does all of that. It’s a comfort thing and Reo doesn’t bring you comfort… right?

You apparently have some cheesy expression written all over your face, though, and that causes Nagi to pinch your cheek to snap you back to reality. “Suits you,” Nagi decides to end the topic before shifting to the main subject. “Reo’s out this morning.”

“I wasn’t trying to see him,” you grumble out, eyes narrowing as you fix yourself a latte and adding way too many shots of espresso to fight off your internal turmoil. You add a large serving of caramel syrup to balance out the bitterness and then top it off with a heavy serving of whipped cream, sighing happily as you get a mouthful of the sugary concoction within the first sip.

Nagi simply shakes his head and drains the rest of his drink in one go. “Well, he’s been talking about you nonstop, if that makes—” Nagi stops in his tracks when he watches your ears perk up. “—you happy…”

At this point, Nagi probably thinks everyone is in on a poorly executed inside joke, except for him. He doesn’t like it, but what can he do? His two best friends are now awkwardly pinning each other and neither of them are sparing him any details. Then again, he’s not sure if he wants all the details. So, instead of poking a dead fish around, he exits to the living room and throws on a weekly series that he’s been meaning to catch up on. These past two months have been quite tiring.

You eventually join him on the couch, body now running on full blast of caffeine and loads of caramel. “Sei, tell me everything that he’s said, please?” and you throw out your best attempt at puppy eyes because you know that Nagi has always been horrible at saying no to these kinds of things.

But maybe getting a girlfriend has changed him, somewhat.

“You’ll hear it from him, eventually,” Nagi simply answers, smiling.

Of course, regardless of how many times you repeat yourself, Nagi would spit back the same response. Since when did he start caring for Reo’s secrecy all of a sudden? Pretty lame. You zone out when an action sequence comes on the screen and begin texting Reo.

‘where are you’ You text over a character monologue in the background.

‘At some stores, picking up last minute gifts for later.’ Reo replies back with a series of emojis.

By ‘stores’, you would only guess it’s nothing but high-end designer stuff. ‘Gifts’ implying that he’s buying multiple for your family and relatives. ‘Later’ is when the two of you will depart on visiting your hometown for the weekend because it turns out Reo was actually serious about taking up your off-handed comment.

‘i told you not to get anything!!’ You send an angry emoji right after. 

Nagi is absolutely reading over your shoulder, too, and if looks could kill, you’re pretty sure you’d be in a million pieces, burning to bits on the floor. “Got a hot date with Reo, huh?”

“Well, you didn’t want to come and we’re not dating…” you huff before pushing him away. “And stop reading my texts!”

“Don’t text while I’m watching my show, it’s distracting.” Nagi shoots back, and you don’t really have an argument for that.

Though, you just glare at him until he eventually backs off and you go back to texting Reo, a bit more subtly, talking about various expensive gifts that he can get instead of showing up to your family doorsteps with diamonds and silk robes. You haven’t had anyone from the city come visit your hometown, so you’re a little nervous to say the least. Especially since someone accompanying you is several tax brackets ahead…though Reo wouldn’t judge you differently. Because he likes you, in more ways than one. Fuck.

You’re ignoring a lot of things happening right now, and bringing him over to meet your family is making you feel weird. Ugh, whatever.

In the end, Reo ends up returning half of his purchases because apparently designer bags and jewelry won't serve your grandparents that well in their everyday lives. So he opts to buy them expensive fruits instead. Fruits are already expensive in the country, so when Reo showed up with boxed grapes that costed more than your current outfit, you could've sworn your eyes were about to pop out of your sockets.

Reo should’ve known better than to wear anything remotely formal when he agreed to come visit your hometown. Tailored suits are expensive and difficult to replace and, from what he’s experienced within the past hour, the mud that’s been splattered all over his dress shoes and pants haven’t gone away no matter how much cleaning reagent he’s used so far. But complaints are off the table, no matter how much he absolutely wants to point out the sweltering heat and the lack of air conditioning in your home. 

The plane ride over wasn’t any better. You blatantly refused to use his credit card for first-class seating upgrades regardless how many times he’d begged you.

“It’ll only be a two hour flight, Reo. Plus, economy isn’t that bad.” You reasoned. 

Oh, but it was.

He’s a gentleman and gentlemen should always let others pick which seat they want first. Window seat was a non negotiable for you, and he didn’t really mind. What he did mind was the random stranger seated to his right.

Screen brightness — max.

Volume settings — max.

Chewing noises — sadly, also max.

It’s a miracle that he didn’t flag down an attendant and leave you for first class. Well, flight aside, landing happens and, inevitably, comes the next part.

“Are you enjoying your stay so far?”

Your grandmother comes into view, coming to Reo’s rescue with a sunhat and a bottle of water, and the basket next to her was already filled to the brim with all types of vegetable assortments from the garden. Reo graciously takes the hat and sips of the water before glancing down at his own basket, which is very much barren. He thought offering to help with harvesting will win him some brownie points, but he should’ve known how dirty it would get.

“It’s definitely different from what I’m used to, but it’s nice here.” He’s honest about the last part. 

The city doesn’t offer much in terms of parks and recreational activities and, despite the fact he’s pretty sure his button up is practically attached to his skin and that there’s probably a centipede (or two) crawling in his shoes, the whole nature thing is pretty serene. Your parents’ old home is a cozy cottage right off the side of the country road, surrounded by rice paddy fields with a wide range of mountains in the backdrop. Occasionally, Reo would see truck drivers making pit stops out in the front to either pick up a small shipment or make small talk with your grandfather — it’s completely foreign to him given that he’s so used to the stuffy business world. Seeing all of this makes Reo understand why some would enjoy a life of simple living and solitude. 

Your grandmother laughs. “We were afraid that you wouldn’t like it here.”

To this, Reo digs his hands back into the soil and pulls out a set of carrots in hands. “Sorry, did I give off that impression?” Says the boy who’s currently dressed head to toe in formal wear. Idiot. 

“Our granddaughter has been…” she trails off for a moment, finger pursed to her lips and head tilted, before finishing. “She’s been blowing up the family group chat about this trip for a while now. Safe to say she’s been worried.” 

Oh. That’s news.

Reo wipes off the puddle of sweat from his face and straightens his back. “It’s beautiful and peaceful here, you wouldn’t be able to get this back in the city. Everyone’s been really nice and the food,” he points down to the field. “You wouldn’t be able to get these without them costing an arm and a leg for the sake of being ‘organic’.”

“Sounds like you want to move here.”

And for the sake of earning those brownie points, “Yeah, I can see myself doing that one day.”

“Imagine that. Can’t stay away from our granddaughter, right?” she teases, and it causes him to do a double take.

“W-What?”

She ignores Reo’s stammering and hands him a pair of gloves and a metal bucket. “Once you finish picking the rest, come meet me by the farmhouse, the cows need some attention.”

Reo might have to rethink his career path after this trip.

“Can you tell your cousins to knock it off, please?” Your best friend is grumbling and hiding behind you for all things safety related.

One thing you forgot to mention, outside of the laborious work, is that your little cousins are an absolute menace to outsiders. The youngest one has been non stop terrorizing Reo around the house with a live grasshopper while the older one keeps throwing him glares and middle fingers. This has been going on right after dinner and Reo’s getting really sick of them and their chattering about how they hate seeing you with someone that needs ‘pampering’.

You huff and roll your eyes playfully. “You think I haven’t tried shutting them up?”

“Good point,” Reo groans from behind. He’s gripping your shoulders as if he’s on life support, shaking every time the youngest one raises the grasshopper closer. “Can’t you just give them an iPad or anything?”

“And what? So they can turn into those kids who stare at a screen all day? No thank you.” You tease, but you give your cousins a final stern look before getting to their eye level. 

Reo watches, silent but amused, as you pluck the insect out of the boy’s grasp and pinch his cheek with a light tug, not enough to shed tears but enough to cause him to yelp. You motion the older one over, who just grumbles under his breath but obeys anyway.

“Big sis, we swear we’re just playing together—” the older one starts, and you simply respond with a hard head shake.

“That’s not how we treat guests in our home. Last time I checked, you guys didn’t like it when I made you clean out the pig pen for fun,” you retort with a casual grin. “Time to head back to auntie’s place anyway, it’s way past your bedtimes.”

Both of them sigh in defeat, but that doesn’t stop them from throwing up a pair of middle fingers at Reo. Hey, down with the rich — they’re on the right track in life. And you know deep down they’re just looking out for you ever since your experience in high school, even if the hatred towards city folks is on the extreme side.

You’re stifling a laugh as the pair leave the house. Reo loosens his grip on your shoulders when they are out of ear shot and nudges your sides because you still have that damn grasshopper in your hands.

“Puke or cry in my house and I’m making you sleep with the cows tonight.” The threat is spoken casually, with a bit of affection to it, but Reo knows damn well it’s a valid threat.

“I’m not going to puke or cry,” he replies, haughtily. “And, for the record, I helped the cows earlier today so I’m practically their mother.”

“Oh yeah, thanks for that, you didn’t have to.” You gently toss the grasshopper out the kitchen window, making sure it landed on a patch of soft grass. “Grandma was constantly raving about you after you finished. Saying something about planning the next weekend trip together.”

“Yeah, might as well help around, you know?” Reo weakly chuckles and briefly looks down at his hands. What he doesn’t add is that his hands are going to be sore for the next few days and that maybe your grandparents think he’s going to move in with them in the future. Something of that sort.

“It’s not the worst idea,” You grin. The sun is down, and the stars in the sky are starting to poke through. You catch Reo trying to get a good look before an idea pops up. “My room has a pretty good view of everything, if you want to head up?” You would offer to lay outside but, considering that the ecosystem here offers much bigger bugs, you decided against it.

Unsurprisingly, Reo takes up on the suggestion.

Your old bedroom is sparsely furnished, and that’s intentional. Most of your personal belongings are currently at your college apartment. All that’s left is a full sized bed, an old boxy television with an equally old boxy stand, a couple of bookshelves stuffed full of children's books, and one of those large colorful beanbags by the window sill. 

It’s a nice bedroom, for all things considered. A lot more vibrant and has more character than Reo’s old bedroom growing up. From what he’s shown you before, his bedroom was almost a black and white minimalist’s wet dream. 

“It’s a bit dusty, hope you don’t mind.”

Your bedroom window has a nice view of the mountain side, and Reo’s quickly distracted by the swarm of fireflies and night stars as he quickly shoves his suitcase into the corner and settles on your bed without a second thought. 

“I like it,” He replies, in a careful, casual voice. And maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear, your best friend sounds both anxious and excited, and maybe there’s a hint of nerves in there, too. Whatever it is, your stomach is back to doing those weird flips.

You try to think. You’re aware of several things right now. First, your best friend is making himself very comfortable in your bed. Second, he’s giving you a look, one that just screams some sort of smug superiority. Third, despite it being humid and warm in your room, you really just want to bury your face into his shoulder. Maybe you should climb in with him, look at the stars together, curled up and snuggling, maybe even run your fingers through his hair, and—

“So,” Reo interrupts and snaps you out of your strange reverie. “You’re sleeping on the floor, right?”

“Huh?” your voice is bleary, and your thoughts are kinda far off. Reo shuffles his way under your sheets and suddenly you put two and two together. “I saved you from those little demons and this is the thanks I get?” 

“I deserve it since I worked,” Reo sighs, dramatically, when you finally find the courage to sit down on the ends of the mattress. “Or did you want to share it together?” Tease oozes into his tone.

That last bit makes your heart skip a couple of beats. Alcohol wasn’t in the dinner mix and, even if it was, Reo would never be this bold in front of you. Perhaps there’s something floating in the summer air.

“Stop pretending that you live here,” but you eventually settle yourself underneath the blankets too, just on the other side to put some good inches in between.

Reo’s smiling, and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t bother you when he manages to hog all the blankets and the limited amount of pillows. He’s a gentleman, but also has his needy side that he’s not afraid of showing. Not to mention that he looks good in the dim lighting, even though he’s only been wearing one of your grandpa’s old t-shirts after working in the field. It finally makes the strange fluttering in your stomach calm into a steady, present warmth, and that’s maybe more problematic, but you don’t give it any real thought.

Reo speaks up after a few passing heartbeats. “Can I… say something?” 

You swallow thickly. “Go for it.”

It can’t be just your imagination, the way Reo’s mouth parts, just a little, the way his tongue is dating out to wet his lips. You’re leaning forward, hand reaching down between. You can’t stop looking at him. 

“I want…” Reo tries to say, but his throat is a giant lump.

“Reo,” You breathe out in response, head tipping, “If you keep looking at me like that, then…”

It comes in swift moments, with Reo pressed close, with both of your hips bumping together, with arms slung over the other’s shoulder. There’s been those moments of laughter, where it feels as if the whole world has faded away in a blur beyond the gaze of your best friend. It’s cliche and dumb, but you feel, in a way, that you’ve been looking at Reo for your life. And you have, really, because he’s always been there for you.

There’s a lot of things that Reo could say. They’re burning on his tongue, building in his throat, getting stuck there. He should just push them out, just say it. Or, maybe, he should say nothing at all, because that wonder and those answers are all reflected in your gaze.

Both of you are so close that he can make out every strand of your lashes. He can see the subtle shift of color in your eyes, the dark band increasing around your pupils, that slight nervous glimmer there. It’s got Reo’s heart pounding in his chest, hammering to be freed. He’s got one hand pressed into the small of your back, stroking there, slow and affectionate. His other hand is trembling, just a little, and he steadies himself bracing it against your cheek.

It’s got you shivering, and Reo realizes that you’re both a bit terrified.

“I want to be yours,” Reo might be nervous as hell, but he steels his voice, and brushes your lips together, he’s so close, when he talks. “I can’t think about anything else when I’m with you. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but—”

“Reo,” you take the initiative here, shifting closer, and settling your lips close to his neck. “It’s okay. I want you too.”

You take another inch forward and Reo allows it. Maybe you’re both getting more comfortable with each other. Maybe getting brave and feeling more grown up. Likely, it’s a combination of everything, and a good dose of ‘fuck it’s, from being young, and dumb, despite it all.

You’re not sure who leans in first but, before it even fully registers, his lips glide over yours. There’s some awkward teeth clacking involved, probably from the fact both of you are way too full of nerves over this, but Reo fixes it and begins to trace his tongue over the small opening of your lips. You move your hands straight to his locks, still damp from the earlier shower he took and the scent of lemongrass and citrus invades your nostrils.

Reo's kissing you as if he wants to swallow you whole. It's hungry, desperate, and intimate in a way that made your heart swell triple in size. The sounds of your beating chest floods your ears as he's pouring his emotions into the kiss, making sure that he's leaving behind evidence that his soul is yours to claim. The heat radiating off his body pulls you in, like an invitation, and you sink further into his touch.

After a moment, you pull back, hands still entangled in his hair.

“Your parents, aren’t you worried about—”

“I don’t pay mind to that type of stuff,” he presses a firm kiss on your forehead. “And you shouldn't have to either. That’s a future thing to worry about.”

That sounds good, you agree, but you’re growing too sleepy to voice it. Instead, you shut your eyes, reaching over blindly to find the edges of the blankets, tugging it up over you two. There’s really no way to move, without cramming at the edge of the mattress. You don’t care, and Reo doesn’t seem to, either.

“Hey, Reo?” You mumble as you both slip into silence.

“Yeah?” He’s tried, but awake enough to shake past the exhaustion, enough to form vague words. “What is it?”

You sit up, just a little, and it’s enough to inspire Reo to force his eyes open. You’re watching him, eyes intent, shining bright with emotion. It’s almost — just almost — enough to have Reo saying those three special little words. They’re right there, on the tip of his tongue, and only then he realizes that he’s terribly in love with you. He’s hopelessly in love. It’s way too early to say it, but he is.

You laugh, burying your face in Reo’s neck again, pressing a kiss there. “I’m glad that you’re here with me.”

Reo has hesitated a lot, during the past months. It’s taken him a while to get here. For once, though, awake or dreaming, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t hesitate. 

“I’m glad too,” he mumbles, and then, he’s dreaming, of endless what if’s and possibilities with you now in his life.

© 2023 DOOBEA. do not copy any of my writing and translate/repost.

additional note: idk why it took me over a month to pump this out LMAO but i hope you guys like the ending bc i was mulling over this chapter so many times before deciding to end it as such... anyways, I WILL BE BACK INTO MY BLLK FIC GROOVE HEHE gotta focus on my milestone fics + that ice skating rin series next :3 i love you guys and thanks again for being patient with me ;3

TAGLIST -CLOSED

@celestair @kitorin @popponn @yoisami @anurst @katsukiiishoe @yuzurins @vitaniangel-blog @kunikame @miwafei @astruoise @faeroow @wooasecret @limerence-lu @jaynawayna @iloveblogging2 @futuristicxie @rinlvr @au-ghosttype @wavetokio @yuusami @phtogravi @funnibunneh @idontevenknow129 @startaee @darthvada @livelaughloveisagiyoichi

[heraldofcrow]

Ok, so Crest’s new video on the internal data names for Dark Souls 2 is out and wow. This game. Wtf.

—

First off, this name makes perfect sense for Shanalotte, aka the “I’m part dragon because of experiments” girl that is somehow the game’s firekeeper but also…not? She’s really interesting to me when in comparison to the other Souls bonfire maidens, and there’s this odd bit of story separation with her. She seems really independent of us in little ways, and maybe her motives with wanting us to link the fire are tied strictly to her own personal beliefs, not just because it’s her duty. Also, it seems like her name could be more accurately translated to “Dragon Priestess” which is…even more fascinating. Her mystery will never not engage me.

Pate is Patches. Dark Souls 2 always had Patches and we all knew it. Even if he doesn’t have the same VA, we just know the archetype is there. Even his “mild-mannered” and silver-tongued persuasion is accurate to the general character. Personally, I think it’s pretty funny that they still found a way to insert the conniving bastard into this game.

He’s apparently just Ornstein….which is obvious, but admittedly it’s confusing as hell. In my eyes, this is Ornstein mid-journey and on his way to find NK. We get to fight him in-game for fun, but in the “time is convoluted” world of Dark Souls, that never actually happened. Ornstein went on his way just fine. Alternative interpretations are always welcome though.

SEA SOLAIRE!! LUCATIEL IS THE SOLAIRE OF DS2 AND WE ALL KNEW IT!! This honestly makes me emotional, because she really did get us all in the feels the way Solaire did, and the theme of slow decay/hollowing and the desperation to stop it is so poignant for both characters. They’re uniquely written too, which I appreciate because even though it’s the same archetype, Lucatiel and Solaire both stand out as individuals as well. My beautiful and sad blorbos </3

Ok, so Creighton and Benhart are/were apparently father and son…which is kinda cool? It’s too bad the final game didn’t cement any connection besides their crest sigils, but I’d still accept it as canon, personally.

She’s just like me fr

Lucatiel’s older brother! This is the first time I’ve seen him unmasked and it’s kinda sad. He was just a normal lad.

Agdayne is a Jojo reference, guys. It’s true. Darklurker is his stand 💀

(In all seriousness, I wonder what the actual connection here was? It’s fascinating).

And finally, to absolutely nobody’s surprise! I hate this so much lmaoooo. I also can’t get it out of my head now that Dark Souls 2 is full of random Star Wars references and that’s what gives it such a unique and alien vibe compared to the other games 💀 (I mean, even the Desert Sorceresses look a bit like Leia’s slave getup in Return of the Jedi skdjdksks).

—

Anyway, this was bizarre and as usual, I can see the verge, or the vague image of how complex DS2 was originally meant to be. There’s just so much going on here, but it doesn’t seem like they put the time into really finishing it. I still love this game, flaws and all, but I do wish they would have…actually finished it.

[blitzyn]

Can i get alhaitham with male reader. Haitham is jealous because reader have spent too much time with travelers. But one day haitham find reader getting hard and that there was a traveler picture there. Jealous + non con (but at the end reader like it) basically haitham being jealous and doing it rough.

my turn

alhaitham x m!reader

Synopsis: Alhaitham decides to avert your attention to him instead of the Traveler for once.

a/n -> I waited like an hour to finish the end and idk why. anyways sorry if its shit

wc -> 2.3ᴋ

cw -> non-con to dub-con, anal fingering, anal sex, jealous sex, ooc character???, idk tbh but hes kinda possessive i guess, not beta read

Alhaitham hadn’t seen you around your shared house as often as you used to. At first, he ruled it off as you being extremely busy with a project for the Akademiya, but as time went on and on, he began to suspect otherwise. His suspicions proved to be correct when he saw you fooling around (you really weren’t) with the famed Traveler. How you managed to befriend each other, he still doesn’t know. He didn’t mind it at first; after all, it meant peace and quiet, but it soon grew to bother him.

He knows he always seemed so annoyed with your constant bickering with either him or Kaveh, but the two of you have been friends for a while now. It irritated him to think that he spent quite a while dealing with your overly friendly attitude (that he’s beginning to enjoy, but he would never admit that) and now you’re throwing all your effort away for someone who’s going to leave Sumeru for who knows how long?

He sighed annoyedly, entering his shared home as he’s met with silence. It was something he’d always longed for now that you and Kaveh moved in, but he secretly wanted to hear a “hello” or something of the like from you. The blond was going to be out for a while as he went on another one of his journeys for creative inspiration, and you were most likely spending your time with the Traveler.

He instinctively thought back to the book he was currently reading as he quietly walked down the hallway towards his room. He suddenly stopped in front of your door when he heard a noise from behind it. He moved one side of his headphones off of his ear to listen closer, noticing more frequent but quieter sounds. Placing it back over his ear, he stared at the floor in contemplation. He could either walk in and pretend that he didn’t know what you were doing, or he could move onwards into his room.

He sighed. He hadn’t seen you in a while. He wasn’t sure when he would get another opportunity.

“Hey, I need you to-” He cut himself off, feigning surprise as he watched you panic on your bed.

“Knock next time you asshole!” You quickly placed a pillow over your crotch, legs curling defensively. Alhaitham noticed that you held a picture frame upside down on the pillow, and while he briefly wondered what was on it, he subconsciously had a feeling he knew who it was.

You swallowed nervously when he simply stared at you with an unreadable expression, face burning shamefully. He was at a loss at what to do now that he barged in your room. He internally scolded himself - he was never acting in the moment again. He bit the inside of his cheek. He might as well continue forward.

Your eyes widened in surprise when you watched as he closed the door behind him and walked towards you, still not saying a thing.

“H-Hey! Get out!” you exclaimed, clutching the pillow tighter against you.

“You know, it’s been a while since you last talked to me,” he said, resting a knee on the bed. He towered over you, and you had the mind to hide under your blankets.

“What?” You were very confused. “I thought you didn’t like it when I did?”

“O-okay, whatever,” you stammered, voice rising in discomfort and nervousness. “Can’t we talk about this a different time?”

“No, and I don’t like it when you speak. Your voice gives me a headache, but since you’ve been here for so long, it’s already become routine to hear you. And I don’t prefer it when my routines are interrupted.” 

You blinked owlishly, despite your predicament. Did he just… say that he wanted you around in his not-very-straightforward way? Well, he should’ve told you that before you started hanging out with the Traveler. Maybe then you’d given him more of your attention.

“Hey–what are you–get off!” you exclaimed as he tore the pillow away from your hands, revealing your semi-hard dick. You tried to cover yourself with your hands, but he simply restrained them with one of his. As you struggled, you couldn’t believe his strength. A mere Scribe, my ass!

“Don’t you think it’s my turn for you to give me a part of your day?” he questioned rhetorically, sliding you down the bed so he had enough room to pin your hands above your head.

“What do they have that interests you so much?” he asked, his free hand gently stroking your cock back to hardness. “Their looks? Their strength? How they saved Sumeru?”

“I helped out too, you know.” What has gotten into him?! First, he admits that he actually wants you around him, and now he’s trying to flaunt his contribution to the nation’s safety? This wasn’t the Alhaitham you knew! “If it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t have gotten half as far as they did.”

“Get off of–” You gagged when he suddenly shoved his index and middle fingers down your throat, silencing you. You shook your head in an attempt to get him away from you, but he simply held you by your cheeks with the remainder of his fingers.

He admired the way you choked and sputtered on his fingers, rubbing your tongue up and down. He moved them so that he was able to pull on your tongue a little, before spitting directly into your mouth. You looked shocked and a bit disgusted, but you couldn’t deny the way it made your dick twitch. He pushed your jaw closed.

“Swallow.” His voice held such an intensity to it you were unable to do anything but comply, watching as a faint smile formed on his face as he felt your throat bob up and down. He pried your thighs open with his legs, shoving a hand down your pants. You tensed when you felt one of his fingers prod at your hole, flinching when he pushed them inside.

You squirmed helplessly, uncomfortable with the way they so slowly moved inside you. You could feel him stretch you a little every so often, but it seemed as if he were searching for something. Suddenly, with a well-placed curl of his fingers, you arched your back and moaned.

“There, huh?” He continued to press against the spot over and over again, subconsciously speeding up as he watched your face contort in ecstasy. He committed the sight and sounds to memory, engrossed in every little twitch of your body. His cock throbbed in his pants, and he couldn’t help but imagine how good you’d feel once he pushed himself inside you. How your eyes would roll back, how you’d cry out for him so prettily. He groaned to himself.

He pulled his fingers out of you before you could cum and yanked your pants down. He flipped you onto your hands and knees. Your sensitive dick brushed against the covers of your bed and you were unable to hold back a pleased groan, nearly deciding to grind against the mattress. It was shameful how quickly he was able to stupefy you with merely a few strokes to your insides.

But you panicked as soon as he began to line himself up against your hole, reaching back to place a hand on his hip in an attempt to push him away.

“Wait–not there!” you cried out. “Y-You can use my mouth… or something…”

He looked at you with indifference in his expression. “Why not?”

“I’ve never… y’know…” you sheepishly trailed off, face burning in embarrassment.

“So why not lose your virginity now?” He couldn’t care less that you were practically melting on the spot, and, quite frankly, he was getting impatient.

“I’m not a virgin. I just wanted to…”

He stared at the back of your head intently, watching you tilt it forward to cover your face even if he already couldn’t see you. You refused to speak properly, but you had unintentionally given him your wordless answer. His eyes narrowed.

Even now, you were still thinking of the Traveler?

He sighed and rolled his eyes, annoyed. He swiftly reached for the picture frame he had accidentally tossed to the floor and leaned over you, placing a hand on your head. He pushed your face into the mattress as he propped the picture up right in front of you, gripping your hair tightly to pull you up enough so you would be able to see it. Your eyes widened as they were met with the photo of you and your blond(e) friend, and Alhaitham’s faint reflection in the glass.

“You wanted them to fuck you instead?” You tried to peer at him through the corners of your eyes. “I guess that’s a shame. This is the best you’re getting.”

You struggled to get up as he finally began to push inside you, though his hand firmly anchored you in place. You let out a muffled, strained groan as his cock spread you open, a burn accompanying the uncomfortable feeling. Tears pricked your eyes. It was hard to breathe, but as he buried himself deep within you, you fought from whining and moaning more than you already have. He reached spots you couldn't've gotten to on your own. You felt full.

You tightly held onto the bed sheets to ground yourself, swallowing nervously when the man behind you began gently rocking himself against you. You felt him pull out almost all the way before shoving himself back inside with a snap of his hips. He had one hand on the back of your head while the other one held your hip, digging his nails into your skin. He jolted you forward with every thrust and yanked you back to him, scratching you.

“You’re imagining them instead, huh?” He leaned forward, pressing himself harder against you. It was an unfamiliar feeling, jealousy. He supposed the only way he could describe it was the sensation of longing fueling the inferno that was anger and bitterness. He hadn't had the chance to find out what it felt like, since he preferred a simpler life. But ever since you and Kaveh moved in, he was given (forced, more like) the opportunity to feel something other than the peaceful monotony he so preferred. “But, let’s be real here.”

The fire of ecstasy burned intensely in your abdomen, his cockhead brushing up against your prostate. “Do you really,“ He groaned, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the most heavenly sound you’d ever heard. “think they’d have the time for you? You think they’d be able to make you feel good?”

You tried to speak, but he refused to allow it, pushing the lower half of your face into the mattress just a bit harder. You realized that even if he did give you the chance to talk, you wouldn’t have anything to defend yourself with. The Traveler was well-versed in battle, everyone knew that. Consequently, that  boundless knowledge sacrificed their time for anything intimate. You stared at the picture rocking back and forth in front of you. Alhaitham was right.

“I know what you like.” The tip of his dick pressed against your prostate fervently as the hand on your hip jerked you off in time with his relentless thrusts. “I know what you don’t like.” He slowed down, denying you of the addicting sensation of your orgasm.

He suddenly raised your head by your hair. You winced, your scalp stinging. “Do they even know your favorite color?”

You froze, trying to recollect a memory where you mentioned such a statement. Although that hesitancy gave him all the information he needed.

“Didn’t think so.”

He released his grip on your hair to place both of his hands on your hips, resuming his pace from before. Satisfaction filled his chest as he forced you to your revelation, watching your body tremble. He felt a faint smile lift his face when you finally started to let your moans out.

Skin slapping skin and moans filled the room, creating an erotic melody that would forever be ingrained in both of your minds. He held you tight enough to ensure bruises, but neither cared at the moment. His labored breaths mixed with your nearly shameless noises. He noticed you peering back at him over your shoulder, and the two of you stared at each other for a few moments before he leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss. It was messy and hasty, your drool smearing over yours and his lips even further.

He swiftly broke the kiss to litter bites and marks over your shoulders, wrapping a hand over your aching cock. He jerked you off in time with his thrusts, and you felt ready to burst right then and there. You fucked yourself back against his dick, trying to hasten your orgasm’s approach.

“Oh, fuuuck,” you drawled. “‘Haitham, I’m gonna… oh, god!”

You tightened around him as you came, your cum spurting over the bed and his fingers, staining the sheets. He lightly grunted and sighed in contentment as he followed soon after, hips slowing down and gently thrusting to ride out his high. He groaned into your ear which sent shivers down your spine, body trembling.

You stayed together for a few more seconds before he decided to pull out to clean the both of you. You laid on your side, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of your cum on your skin.

“Don’t leave, yet…” you muttered tiredly, watching as he shuffled around to briefly clean himself. He looked at you in question.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He sat on the bed. “But you need to clean yourself.”

“I’ll do it later…” you mumbled, closing your eyes.

“Don’t lay in your-” A slight grimace crossed his face before he sighed. He properly laid beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and back to bring you close to him. He had nearly forgotten how stubborn you were, but he knew that it was one of the very things that he liked about you, despite how much it annoys him. He momentarily wondered if you had any plans with the Traveler today, but quickly brushed the thought away with the reminder that they wouldn’t matter anymore.

He closed his eyes. Now you could redirect your focus onto him instead.

cross-posted on ao3

[leopardom]

because it’s gonna be 12 months from the start of this fandom (kinda mostly here anyway), would you like to give me a fav moment from every month so far (can be fandom related, can be only jo related)? if that’s something you’re in the mood rn 🩷

absolutely 🤩

welcome to the ✨Joker Out Chronicles (May 2023 - March 2024)✨ as viewed by user leopardom

this is gonna be a list of fav moments from every month so far and since i couldn't choose, it's gonna be both band related and fandom related

this is gonna be long so more under the cut

May 2023

band: the whole eurovision journey from befriending all the contestants to Bojan's date and eventual engagement with Käärijä to the band giving condoms to everyone and their mom to the rehearsals to the iconic turqoise carpet to the Käärijä sauna to the voting promo to the qualification to the finals to Bojan licking the camera and to Joker Out becoming pretty much esc legends despite finishing 21st in the final. the beginning of everything, absolutely chaotic but i wouldn't imagine it any other way

fandom: the formation this sounds cliche yes but i was here since April 2023 and it was... very silent. the non-esc related jo stuff were limited and people were still discovering them so yeah i was sitting here hoping that after esc people would stick around so we can scream together about the band as a band and not only as esc contestants. and thankfully people did that and here we are now 🥹

June 2023

band: first international gigs the gigs in Dublin are one thing but then came the announcements of the Nordic tour, the Warsaw gigs, the headline gigs in Novi Sad and Zagreb... honourable mention to Stožice going sold out

fandom: Tavastia 1.0 there's absolutely no way i will even forget how the jo, ka and esc fandoms had a collective meltdown when Bojan casually showed up in Helsinki and then joined Käärijä on stage on both his Tavastia gigs (mind you both as a singer and as a dancer lmao). no wonder why this moment still has a chokehold on all of us. 9th of June 2023, you will always be famous

July 2023

band: the appearance of Demoni scream i know that festivals and the first UK run were important and gave us some iconic moments too (like some slay outfits and Jan's sparklative confusion), but the damn Demoni scream is so dear to me it kinda tops it all. it's so good to see how Bojan embraced it after that first time (2/7/23 in Škofja Loka) and now there can't be Demoni without the scream/growl/whatever you wanna call it

fandom: the Jance wedding on stage iirc the Jance brainrot had started spawning before 29/7 but that Saturday night was the cherry on top. so glad we got to experience this live as well since there was a livestream going on that night and we saw Jan putting the veil on Nace himself <3

August 2023

band: the Koper gig i wasn't even there okay but judging from the content and people's comments on it, it was probably one of the most iconic jo gigs. also my favourite jo video in existence is coming from that night (here) side note: i've been to Slovenia once in my life, 11 years ago, and funnily enough we were staying in Koper and i recognised the place they had the concert. anyway, visit Slovenia and Koper, it's a very nice small seaside town and it's worth the visit <3

fandom: the collective screaming about things to be completely honest i don't remember much from that month in terms of fandom, but i kinda remember how most of us had started diving into the band's past more and more and “new” old content was posted almost every day. videos, photos, gifs, interviews, the amazing @jokeroutsubs translating more old content...

September 2023

band: Nordic tour i won't even start talking about this because you'll never hear the end of it. we all know what the Nordic tour was. even the release of SSOL, the first single after esc, can't top this whole thing, sorry

fandom: google drive content and *shocked gasp* Nordic tour another collective meltdown for the fandom. first being bombarder with backstage videos on a damn google drive folder (that ended up being a frequent occurence in the following months) to the whole run of the Nordic tour. do i need to say more? i feel like i can't. only this: Nordic tour, you will always be famous

October 2023

band: Stožice not much to say here either. they sold out a whole arena months prior to the actual concert date. it was their moment. a milestone (probably their biggest to date). and it was amazing to witness this in any possible way, whether it was by attending the concert or watching an ig livestream or keeping track of the photos and videos of that night

fandom: Stožice and Halloween outfits the chokehold both the Stožice and the Halloween (aka pilots and flight attendands) outfits had on the whole fandom... also love how we collectively agreed that Kris' Stožice outfit was his version of Princess Diana's revenge dress and how the Halloween outfits sent the fandom into a spiral in means of creations (fanart, fanfics etc)

November 2023

band: the whole touring well they did have a number of gigs during November and they seemed to be having so much fun 🥰 so much that at the end of November they announced their first proper european tour

fandom: collective screaming about things once again i mean all the gigs were feeding us well. the outfits alternating or not, Jance/Bokris moments, Bonace getting more spotlight (Bojan was and still is going through something during Demoni and Ona like wtf was he doing to Nace was it the serbian lyrics waking up something wild in him 😭😭😭). there was a lot going on back in November… honourable mentions: this Bokris moment, cvjetits (x x) and Kris riding Jure

December 2023

band: the whole Munich experience there's a good chance jo don't remember their whole stay in Munich for the first time as one of the best ones ever, especially if they think about the 1,5k euro taxi they paid as part of making it to The Hague in time for the next gig. but if anything, i feel like this captures their whole vibe as a band; ✨purely chaotic✨

fandom: european tour vlog and Bojan with the bi flag we waited for a long time for a Nordic tour vlog. maybe we didn't get it as an individual video but even as part of the whole tour vlog it was great and definitely worth the wait. also it was a great xmas gift let's be real 😌 now Bojan with the bi flag was probably not a very huge fandom moment and my bi ass may be biased here (this rhymed lol), but seeing him wrap himself with the bi flag followed by that speech before Barve Oceana in Barcelona will always be such a precious moment to me and i'll cherish it forever 💖 note: when i saw them last month in Munich i immediately started crying when i heard the first notes of Barve Oceana live; not only because i love the song and i finally heard it live, but also because i instantly thought of that moment of Bojan with the bi flag and the speech)

January 2024

band: Joker Out cooking livestreams London era my beloved (i never thought i'd say this about a city in the UK out of all places). their whole stay in London was an Experience both for the band and the fandom but well they got their chance to show the world they can cook besides playing music and they did. now let's not get into the kind of cooking they did, but the livestreams were very entertaining and bless them for doing them 😅

fandom: death by Damon Baker's photos yeah no i don't think i need to say more here, i'm still not over those photoshoots and i still can't quite believe they actually happened. like?????????? jo???? photographed individually or not by Damon fucking Baker???? ugh 😫 on that note i want to add that i loved and still love how those photos sparked the creativity in this fandom. from analyses of each photo to fanfics to fanart to creating anything in general. one of my favourite moments of the fandom <3

February 2024

band: release of Everybody's Waiting the whole road to the release of this single was Something with the band continuing the usual shenanigans and with Damon still releasing unseen photos of them. the release of it may have gotten us divided because of its language or the path they chose to take music-wise (it's not everyone's cup of tea and that's more than fine), but personally i like this for them. it's different, it showed a different side of them which they wanted to explored; they got a chances to do it and they did it. and you know what? it's so good live

fandom: death by Damon Baker's photos, Jure edition this could be merged with my fave fandom moment of January 2024 but this one is special because we just saw another Jure like WTF WAS THAT 😭 anyway i loved how we all kind of lost it when his photos dropped note: the moment Damon posted Jure's photos i was on my way to meet my friends in Dresden of all places and i was so shocked by what i saw i almost ran into a lighting column on the street 💀💀💀

March 2024

band: Jan and Bojan playing the piano at every gig of the tour i could've said the whole tour is my favourite thing from this March and it's not like it's not, this is a big moment for the band. it's just that once again i'm a bit biased here. many people, my pianist ass included, wished there would be a piano or some keyboard on stage during the tour because come on if Jan plays the keys for Everybody's Waiting studio version then why not do it live too? and you know what's better? not only there was a piano on stage for the whole tour, but not only Jan but also Bojan played it. however, Bojan playing it for Everybody's Waiting and Jan playing it for Padam, Metulji and the cases where they had special guests (like in Estonia with Alika, Lithuania with Monika and Belgium with Gustaph)... those were not on my bingo card and they were the most pleasant surprise ever 😌

fandom: meeting each other at the gigs when the tour started and even though i knew i would go to at least two gigs, i was extremely nervous because this meant i'd probably come across other fans from here and social media in general. as a person with anxiety, one of my worries was how i'd be perceived and how i'd manage to not come across as a snob person because i'm shy and scared to talk to people i don't know. as the tour went on and i saw people meeting each other irl after only knowing each other via tumblr/twitter/instagram, i got more nervous but also had a warm feeling in my chest because seeing people meet, bond over things they like and have fun at gigs together is actually very wholesome 🫶 i hoped i would get to experience this too at the italian gigs but i was still nervous. and then, around the middle of March, i made the spontaneous decision to do the Munich gig too, but instead of getting even more nervous i just got myself on autopilot. and i'm glad i did because if i hadn't i wouldn't have met some of you neither in Munich nor in Milan or Padua. i wouldn't get to trade stuff and joke about things and talk about fandom stuff or even about fanfics lmao 😂 anyway, point is that i most probably was worried about nothing. i got to meet so many people at the gigs and i had so much fun despite the inconveniences that may had showed up in the way (i don't wanna talk about it tbh) and everyone was so welcome and lovely i'll never shut up about it 😭 also i’m taking this opportunity to say that if we attended the same gigs but didn't get to meet, i'm so sorry about it really but we will do it at some point i'm telling you! and i also wish i get to meet more of you from in here so we can yap about things outside of tumblr too. btw i still have stickers to give away and i will make more whenever the time comes again <3

[zepskies]

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader Summary: In which Sam is thoroughly done with motels, and you and Dean continue to make his life miserable.

Set during season 5, when the angels want Dean to be Michael’s vessel. For, you know, the Apocalypse.  

Word Count: 800 Warnings: Implied sex

Around one in the morning, Sam wakes up to someone banging on the wall closest to him.

Loudly, like someone fell, and there's a cry of pain that follows. When he remembers that it's you and his brother in the motel room next to him, his internal alarm system propels him to sit up.

Because for a brief moment he thinks the angels found them again and are trying to take Dean.

And for the first time since you and Dean started dating, Sam thinks:

Thank God these walls are paper-thin.

He tosses the blankets aside and he's halfway out of bed when he hears a low, but feminine moan. He pauses.

"Hmm…wow. Color me impressed," he hears, though it's muffled.

"That's okay then?" Sam hears next, and he knows that's Dean.

Another low, satisfied hum answers the question, and Sam deflates. Embarrassment sets his face aflame and makes him close his eyes, dragging both hands over his face. He sits back down on the bed, heavily.

"Feels nice."

"Yeah?"

"Slow down…"

Sam raises the covers high over his head in an attempt to drown out the noises, but it only serves to muffle it a little.

"Yeah…all the way d—ow!"

"Sorry, it snagged."

"Yeah, I kinda felt it."

"Just relax."

There's a feminine sigh and Sam has to hold a pillow over his head before it all fades away enough to let him fall back to sleep.

Dean comes into his room the next morning with a cup of instant coffee and a wake-up call.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!"

He sets the cup loud enough on the bedside table that it makes Sam jump, but he's awake now, and glad that there's no Asia playing.

"You look like shit," Dean comments. One of his trademark smirks is in place too fucking early today, and Sam glances up at him witheringly.

"Yeah well, it was kind of hard to sleep," Sam says. His voice is hoarse, and he's probably got bags under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping that great anyway, with the end of the world being nigh and all that.

"Why's that?" Dean asks. Sam really doesn't want to get into this before he's even brushed his teeth.

"The walls are thin. Dean. Sound travels."

Dean's face scrunches a little in confusion, though there's something in his eyes that Sam doesn't miss.

"What do you mean? We didn't do anything."

Sam raises incredulous brows.

"Dean, you woke me up. I heard half an hour more than I ever wanted or needed to hear."

"Dude, seriously," Dean says, with his "for real" face, though Sam can tell he's hiding something. "Last night was rated E for Everyone."

Sam rolls his eyes.

"Know what? Whatever…I'm gonna take a shower," he says, because he really doesn't feel like going through this song and dance when he's barely even conscious.

"Hey, don't use up all the hot water," Dean says, and closes the door behind him on his way out.

Breakfast is slightly awkward between the brothers as they both eat cereal in Dean's room, since it actually has a kitchen and a couch in the "living room."

"Dean, have you seen my brush?" you ask. You’re finally out of the bathroom, changed from your pajamas into a pair of jeans and a Journey shirt.

"What?" Dean says belatedly around a mouthful of cheerios. You come up behind him and lay a hand on his shoulder.

"My hairbrush, I can't find it since—"

"I dunno," Dean says, but he does glance over his shoulder at you. "Have you checked—"

"Found it," you say triumphantly after lifting the bottom corners of the bed sheets. "Wonder how it got in there…"

You shove the brush into your bag before heading into the kitchen. You come out a couple of minutes later with your own bowl of cereal, and Dean gives you his seat because he's done with breakfast.

You and Sam eat in a somewhat companionable silence once Dean leaves the room, and when the faucet in the kitchen sink turns on, you look over at Sam.

"He just wanted to brush my hair."

Sam blinks, taken off guard. He looks over at you, puzzled, until he realizes what you mean.

"…What?" he still asks, because he can't picture his brother initiating that scenario. You shrug, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"Your brother's a dork sometimes," you say, but it's with a warmth and fondness that Sam recognizes.

He quirks a brow. "So…that was…"

"He was very gentle.” You wink at him, and it makes Sam flush with embarrassment.

You then lean toward him conspiringly. "But you didn't hear that from me."

Sam nods and smiles a little.

If this isn’t future ammunition, he doesn't know what is.

Dean Winchester One-Shots

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Encounters Her First Full GMMTV Upfronts Experience: A Personal Journey Into GMMTV2024

LOL, I don't mean to be dramatic -- I was around a little bit (?) last November for the GMMTV2023 upfronts, and I honestly did not know what was going on, except to scream about Cherry Magic Thailand. Back then, I was much more of a Japanese BL gal (see: Cherry Magic), but now I'm down with the GMMTV scene, as it were, through my Old GMMTV Challenge project, and I'm ready to wax on deez trailers.

One huge overall note: YES TO DUDES NOT BEING IN BRANDED PAIRS. Your Gawins, your Ohms, your Thors, your Joss-es. YES. This is an exciting line-up to me to see the dudes getting mixed up. As much as I loved Be My Favorite, I don't need to see GawinKrist again.

I am stealing the formats of the wonderful @bengiyo and @neuroticbookworm to offer my thoughts on the trailers! (My list is literally gonna look like everyone else's list, LMAO).

FUCK YES

My Golden Blood: Joss, Gawin, Mond, Neo. Vampires. Blood. Baseball bats. LSKDJFLSJDFLKSJDGLKJSDLGKJSLDKGJLDSKF. The SFX are gonna be SO BAD. Joss sucking Gawin's blood will be SO FUCKING GOOD. I AM STILL SCREAMING. OBVIOUSLY.

Kidnap: Ohm Pawat's next BL. While he had previously said that he wanted Bad Buddy to be his last BL, the bullying scandal that he encountered this past year makes this decision a sensible one to get back on the brand engagement train. His co-star, Leng Thanaphon, is gorgeous looks like he's making a strong debut. I am very happy for Ohm, but I think I am a bit spoiled by knowing his previous non-GMMTV oeuvre so well (Make It Right, Dew, He's Coming To Me), and I'm feeling like GMMTV isn't pushing his acting chops as much as they used to. (Meaning.... I'd be okay if he left GMMTV one day to do more movies.) Time will tell, but I am happy for him -- he is a king of BL, the most prevalent actor on the OGMMTVC list, and this'll let him rebuild his career. He deserves it, and is a personal fave of mine.

Wandee Goodday: YO. So obviously this looks intriguing! But like -- I'd expect Golf Tanwarin to be doing this for another network. Full-frontal, heavy (HEAVY!) sex talk, smoochin' everywhere. I'm impressed GMMTV is going here. It's perhaps because I have Domundi on the mind heavily with my recent ZeeNunew education, but I have been feeling as of late that GMMTV has been choosing fluff and/or crap romance (SEE: DANGEROUS ROMANCE -_-) over... pure sex, as it were, and this is getting closer to a Domundi-style show than even where Only Friends went. I LOVE THOR. I LOVE THOR!!!! I'm excited for this, and me likey the looks of Inn.

On Sale: I am LOVING this new we're-not-in-school-we-are-just-insane TayNew era. And Jan is a FAVE FAVE FAVE of mine, and looks like she's gonna level this show the FUCK up. I'm SO INTO THIS.

Pluto: For sure I am watching this for Film (oh, and hi, Thor and Arm!). I'm not the biggest Namtan fan? I wasn't the biggest fan of her acting in Midnight Museum or UMG. Kinda flat. But she's at the top of the popular actress list at GMMTV, and it's great that someone of her prominence is flirting in the QL space. Film, though -- Film has CHOPPPPPPPPPPS and will likely eat this role. We might never get EarnPear, but this might be close.

My Precious: For NanonFilm, anything. But this is just the movie with more scenes, right? I don't know if it was ever going to get international distribution as a movie anyway. K. I'll buy it!

The Trainee: Tell me where I've seen OffGun do movie shit before -- and I don't mind the slight theme repeat. KapookPiploy, huh? I have not seen Vice Versa, but I really enjoyed Sea Tawinan in that. Gun crying, not surprising, but I officially stan OffGun because of Not Me, and I'll stand by this one.

UMMMM

My Love Mix-Up: See here for my initial thoughts. I came to Thai BLs from Japanese BLs. Kieta Hatsukoi was one of the first JBLs I discovered specifically through Tumblr. Japanese BLs are so varied -- and I think, when one is watching JBLs, to have a gentle/general sense of how sex is perceived/managed/dealt with in Japanese culture. I'm not gonna get into this too much here, but the ways in which Japanese and Thai societies deal with sex is very different. Anyway. I think my own mental dissonance on this conversation is coloring my thoughts on My Love Mix-Up Thailand/Kieta Hatsukoi Thailand. Pairs are not repeated in Japan (unless you have second seasons of the same show), and to have an established branded pair in GemFourth in Ida and Aoki's roles -- I'm just, I'm not sure. I don't want the show to feel pressured to go to a place it wouldn't go to without a branded pair. Will Thailand pay homage to Ida's unique and inquisitive demi identity? Can the branded ship economy manage that? I dunno. Let's wait and find out.

Summer Night: I'm going to be gentle on this one. I like that Phuwin takes on various het roles. I happened to LOVE HIM in The Warp Effect. And I like Bimbeam in here -- she actually showed some firm chops in 55:15 Never Too Late. Only if the schedule allows will I take this one, but I actually like the smell of it a bit.

Ossan's Love: What in the EarthMix. Ossan's Love was often cited as queerbaiting material for early Japanese BLs (EDITING TO ADD: just want to clarify that that statement literally came from my early days in JBLs reading Twitter; thank you to @twig-tea and @nieves-de-sugui for the clarifications in the comments!); I have never watched it, but understand its importance in the Japanese BL repertoire. I'm gonna remain sus on this until we find out more. (Although, I'm VERY EXCITED to see a channel like TV Asahi break out of the Japanese paradigm of not collaborating with other countries to get this on Thai TV air. TV Asahi and TV Tokyo for Cherry Magic are real groundbreakers, and I do dig that.)

Only Boo: When I was talking about this show with friends, and @neuroticbookworm said "Book's in this," I WAS LIKE, WHO'S BOOK? LMAO. Let me see Book away from Force for a GOD DAMN SECOND. I know we don't know anyone in here, but the actors actually seem strong! This was a fun preview.

We Are: Lots of couples. PondPhuwin, MarcPawin, WinnySatang, Aou and that other dude. What is this, a New Siwaj show? I might have enough to watch next year without needing to watch ANOTHER school drama. We'll see.

LIKELY NOT

Enigma 2: Not a fan of Win Metawin, and didn't watch the trailer.

High School Frenemy: I understand this is a K-drama remake of School 2013, which I haven't seen. I... am trying to understand the story here, but happy for View/June/Mark/Prom to be in a show together, and I'll pay more attention when the show's closer to airing.

HARD PASS

Ploy's Yearbook: Did not watch the trailer. I understand there's a storyline with Joong's character romancing his adopted sister. HARD. NO.

[the-s1lly-corner]

spot that meets a autistic reader, that is talkative to themselves, but has poor social skills because (lack of good parenting + bullys, but is very smart and loves art and engineering, and dreams to be a scientist one day.. it could began as the reader first feared him over an awkward moment? to opening up about themselves and the reader's obsessive fascination over him. two very talented ppl that only wants to be appreciated, respected and loved...💔

idk is it to much?? bruh I'm trying to be creative😭 I'd be happy with whatever happens!. aNd TaKe yO tiME!! On irl things and beloved spotty <3

Spot w/ an autistic reader!

Rubs my autistic little hands

Feeling a lil drowsy but I wanna chuck this out before I fall asleep for (possibly) the next 7 hours :3

Not proof read we die like Peter Parker <\\3 we are sleepy and tumblr wont let me save drafts for asks <\3

Obligatory "I like this character so I'm hcing him to be ND like me" touch

He gets it

Anyways

I think to help make the whole thing less jarring, or whatever, is that you may have known each other vaguely before the collider incident

You weren't a scientist at alchemax, more like.

Well shoot I just forgot the term but like, you work there, but you dont do hands on experiments, not experienced enough yet

Intern?

Maybe, idk

Obviously you don't work there anymore after the collider blowing up, so... you're looking for a new job

You knew about Jonathan, but you weren't friends

You had also heard rumors about what happened to him but you kinda dismissed it as cruel rumors surrounding his death.. I mean no one could've survived that explosion.. right?

So imagine your surprise when you end up almost getting robbed by spot

Can you blame him? He hasnt found another job since the accident and hes probably living off of pity handouts; likely homeless

Now hand over the wallet!!/j

No but on the semi likely chance that you manage to defuse the situation, given Spot sucks as a criminal, you just bluntly ask if the whole

Rumor thing is true

I mean obviously it is but confirmation is important

After a few more chance encounters, you guys both finally decide to properly sit down and talk

Its tense and awkward at first since 1. How does one even act around someone like spot? He's vulnerable but also trying to do the whole. Revenge thing... And 2. Hes desperate for human interaction and it SHOWS, it's almost uncomfortable actually

But you both trudge past it and make it work

One meet up turns into two then three; then you discover how much hes struggling and

Now you're roomates

Oh my god they were roommates/ref

Anyways, that's the set up!! It kinda felt wrong to just. Jump into it without some explanation on how yall end up in the same area consistently

Doesnt mind that you mumble to yourself, he probably does the same thing. From muttering things to keep his train of thought to having a personal monologue, I wholeheartedly believe he does the same thing

Hs understands how it feels to be. Not treated very good, he likely wasnt the most respected in alchemax so it's not uncommon for the two of you to have vent sessions where you both let it all out

You ask him about his journey to becoming a scientist and not so subtly ask for advice on how to get into the field; and touching onto the whole human interaction thing, hes more than willing to talk your ear off about his entire career history

On the chance you dont want to do physics stuff, and you wanna do another branch of science he's all ears on listening to you ramble, may even lend a hand in getting you to where you need to be career wise

Yall do at home experiments as bonding stuff

Look if spot can make a mini collider in some building then I can only imagine the type of shit yall get up to at home

Oh? You're still curious about.. him? Of all things, him?

He never thought anyone would look at him with interest; usually its disgust or fear, or both

Hes hesitant at first because what if you discover something that'll totally change your view of him?

Takes (some, a little) coaxing

Bro caves fast, he misses physical touch

"So like, these holes-" you proceed to just. Dip your entire fist into a hole and watch said fist pop out from another hole

The demons are telling me to make reader like

Make it a game to try to throw stuff through his holes but I feel like that would be really mean, no one likes stuff getting thrown at them

Please dont throw stuff through his holes :(

Random but like

Idk if this happens with yall but

If someone stims do yall. Like stim back

Like I have vocal stims and mess with my hands; and sometimes my friend will be prompted to stim if I stim??

Idk but yall do that

OHOH before I post this if you're both comfy with physical touch please please please hold him, it's been so so long since someone has hugged him and he really really needs it :(

[bookwyrminspiration]

i do not remember a single thing in legacy aside from the bronte moments. literally that's it i couldn't even tell you what the plot is. boring ass book.

It was the "I'm unmatchable I need to find my bio parents and destroy my relationship over this" book. Which. I am being a little mean, fully admit that, I'm being bitchy and unfair about it. I simply have very little patience for wading through Sophie's reaction. Sure, I understand why she reacts that way and its contributions to the story, but it's also incredibly annoying. so

I suppose we could make a comparison that Sophie has internalized amatonormativity, and we could say it's part of her personal journey and I shouldn't be so exasperated at someone who's growing and learning.

but even still, that doesn't make it fun to read through what she says about how being unmatchable is super important and going to ruin her entire life. that the council is going to kick her out of the nobility and everyone's going to chase her with pitchforks screaming "burn the unmatchable girl". sophie you are clearly catastrophizing and making this into a way bigger deal than it has to be. we've all been there, but can we come back to this once you've had your learning arc I don't feel like accompanying you on it

I think it's just that I have such different reactions than she does. she's horrified and I'm like I wouldn't have even gone to the matchmakers in the first place girl why did we take this plot detour we were doing so strong. and I think it's at least partly because I'm aro and don't give a shit about belonging through my relationship

and this doesn't even get into how sophitz was treated, which is ANOTHER thing I have several gripes with!

anyway. am i being kinda mean to her about something she's very genuinely distressed about that's important to her? yes. but she's not real and my annoyance is. and I can set this aside and acknowledge why it was done and its importance, so I think I've earned the right to be grumpy about it sometimes too

[sideblogdotjpeg]

hello unfortunately i thought even more about sol + swag as an analogy for being asian and it is . making me unwell. i am putting it under the cut for the main reason that it is stupid beyond belief

OK. so. hear me out .

STUPID REASONS WHY SOL IS ASIAN:

(and hint: this is all me projecting 100%)

1) moist frog who immediately turns off when it gets too cold. SOUTHEASTASIAN BOY AS FUCK (to me). guy who thinks thirty degrees celsius is pleasant temperature. guy who thinks that anything below 25C is sweater weather. guy who is soo sweaty and moist all the time (the humidity) and that is not only a natural state, but a preferrable state. 20 degrees is too cold. anything below 0 is actually not functional.

anyway. sol bufo. keepin it warm and gross. if its too cold and dry he immediately hibernates. king

2) idk if anyone reading this has seen shaolin soccer. but sol bufo. could clump shaolin soccer. essentially what im saying is sol bufo is like a buff asian jock. which is kinda goofy and goodnatured and loud and also very obnoxious. i cannot articulate this very well. but. what can i say except a human version of sol bufo was delivered to me in a dream and it was every buff chinese classmate ive ever met.

3) (you will notice the reasons get progressively more stupid and more deeply specific)

sol bufo would love milo. omg. like. chocolate drink in a juice box container that is branded as a sports/energy drink and also green. also the guy on the front of the packet milo. sol bufo coded. tbh

anyway. milo isnt strictly southeast asian..? but. yes it is actually.

4) the whole monk class is extremely steeped in asian 'aesthetics' anyway. i mean. ki. so whatever i can claim this monk for me thats my right

NONSTUPID BUT STILL KIND OF SILLY REASONS:

and this is also me projecting 100%. obviously all delusion. so i guess see this as a for-fun reading of the sol/swag storyline through the lens of a very specific of asianness

okay so. swag right. his journey is about leaving his home where he was comfortable and safe but also very confined. mothership lures him to ezry w the promise of opportunity & seeing the world, making something of himself. he ends up being exploited for his body and skills. and he runs away, but his blood still oils up the mothership cogs.

so anyway. i think its pretty clear how that cld map onto like . an immigrant experience? leaving home because of the need to find urself, but simultaneously, the threat of exploitation at the hands of ppl who see you as a potential profit to be mined. this is the first part

the part that is more crazy to me is his experience in irondeep. like, when he left moonstone he left his entire community. now hes alone ... and he cant go back. (he is stranded physically, emotionally). and at this low point, of true and utter loneliness and purposelessness, comes along bronzebeard industries. they offer him a job - but more importantly, they offer him connections.

like. thinking about how were introduced to swag. its not at his job, its his downtime, its when hes hanging out with his coworkers, when hes surrounded by 'friends'. w people who think hes cool, and the people who think hes a "sucker".

idk! but i think this also relates rlly strongly to a common experience of being international? like. when you know you are permenantly lost from home. what you want more than anything is to feel the same community and sense of belonging you used to have. and it is very easy for that desire to ge manipulated. (like - im just gonna mention the one specific instance that ive seen. which is like. international students on college campuses getting targeted a lot by christian groups. because they know those people are lonely and want a feeling of shared tradition and practice. anyway. this is one specific example but also this is literally what happens to lyddie and sister rosaline :-| )

anyway so in summary: swags story of hope/idealism, exploitation, and loneliness leading him to be a very good pawn. i think that is something that could potentially be read as the experiences of ppl dislocated internationally from their home. and im saying its asian because I Want To.

... and sol! okay. i think very simply: sol is super white-washed. total banana. and thats part of his character. he is a moonstone bullywug who never knew his own home, and still, has never even seen moonstone with his own eyes. he does not know his own history. (and kinda tangent, the place where he spends the majority of his life is in launchpad, a sanitized corporate version of reality. and i mean, the whole 'boy wizard and frog pal' is very clearly alluding to harry potter. like. its white.) but ignoring that, the essence of his character is like. this is a guy who does not know where he came from

and currently? a large part of his arc is about trying to unravel his identity by figuring out where (who) he came from. swag daniels is his one link to a community hes just now found out he has. that is a part of why hes trying so hard to save swag. swag is his family - specifically the parts about family you cant choose. that is hard, complicated and how you understand where the parts of yourself track back to.

like. i think a lot about how the pivotal moments of connection between swag and sol are all about swag... showing sol what moonstone is like. in a dream, he lets sol experience what that place is like. that place is a muggy swamp. idk. swag is taking sol back home. that fucks me up a lot

... anyway digression aside. i think one of the most painful things gg on rn w sols arc rn is. how its looking right now. sol is going to lose swag. sol is going to have to come to terms w losing swag. sol for the first time, yearns to know who he is and who he came from. but by the time he went looking it was too late. his time is up. that moment of connection was brief and gone. there are so many questions about their history that sol will never know now

so obviously this kind of dips a bit into metaphor at the end. swag represents connection to cultural history and heritage and identity. and in that lens, it reads to ME as a story abt being asian and disconnected from ur roots. but anyway. even without that lens i think sols story is still v much abt cultural estrangement

(i also have a very loose and unformed thought: which is that sols journey from wanting to stand out/be special to wanting to find a place of belonging. is ALSO INCREDIBLY RESONANT to the experience of being whitewashed asian... ESPECIALLY for ppl who do come from asia. and how that also relates to the tragedy of wanting to understand ur roots when its already too late. but . i dont rlly know if that is a common experience so. itll be noodling in my head for now)

anyway. my essay. and yes this is all make believe in my head . TLDR: i think swags an immigrant sols a banana and i am fucking insane thanks everyone

also if u read this all and want to know what part of this long ramble actly answers the question of why i think theyre asian. well. you know what.

[11queensupreme11]

Your favorite and least favorite things about ror and pjo?

PJO

favorite things:

pretty much the entirety of the first series!

i love how rick was able to perfectly (imo) entertwine the ancient greek world with the modern world

i especially love how most of percy's journey was similar to the ancient greek heroes' journeys in the myths

THE FACT THAT PERCY REJECTED GODHOOD TO TRY AND GIVE DEMIGODS AND MINOR GODS A BETTER LIFE HE'S SO SWEET I LOVE HIM OMG

no seriously, i LOVE how instead of being selfish and becoming a god, he tried to actually fix the root of the problem so no other child would ever go through the same things his generation of demigods went through THATS HOW YOU END AN OPPRESSIVE REGIME, I'M PROUD OF YOU PERCY

everything about the last olympian. he writes war and battle SO well, my heart was literally pounding throughout the whole book!!!

the character deaths.... they gutted me, but they were executed so well

least favorite things:

the gods weren't very similar to the mythical counterpart.... like how pjo!poseidon was a chill, mostly nice guy whereas in the myths he was a rapist psycho.... and how pjo!ares was implied to be abusive towards clarisse whereas in the myths ares respects women and killed his daughter's rapist (tho i get why he couldn't do that since this is a kid's book)

the entirety of heroes of olympus 💀

no seriously, i didn't like any of it

the lost hero and the son of neptune were okay, but after that things started getting messy. probably because of how many main characters he had to write about

the plot was very very.... weird??? especially around the part where they were looking for the physician's cure. a side quest took up a major chunk of the book

BLOOD OF OLYMPUS WAS SHITTY OMG

the final battle against gaea was so lame!!!! the seven weren't even fighting here, only a few of them were!!! the fact that piper was able to put her to sleep too even though rick literally wrote a list of ways charmspeak would fail AND GAEA CHECKED EVERY ONE OF THEM???? yet piper succeeded anyway???

no seriously, i was expecting the last olympian kinda shit in blood of olympus, but i got NOTHING

rick's shitty view of 'feminism' wasn't feminism at all, it was more misandry (the hunt) and piper ESPECIALLY had some glaring internalized misogyny

i get he was trying to make her a feminist icon, but he really failed with piper. piper clearly hated femininity and looked down feminine girls AND SHE WAS PROVEN RIGHT because 99% of her enemies (major or minor) were girls that were comfortable with their femininity and rick had her triumph over them every time

rick's favoritism over piper. her charmspeak worked on opponents that it shouldn't have worked on (gaea and khione), every other female character suddenly gets downgraded whenever she's around (drew, aphrodite, annabeth, the entire fucking aphrodite cabin, etc), none of her actual flaws were called out (this is mostly because rick never intended for her internalized misogyny and obsessiveness to be her flaws, they were created by accident and noticed by the readers).... and you get the point

ROR

favorite things:

the character designs are sooooo 🤤

99% of the characters have 8 pack abs OR MORE

THE GORE!!!! WOOHOO I LOVE THE VIOLENCE (in the manga at least.... the anime censored it smh 🤦‍♀️)

there isn't really much worldbuilding yet but i love what we've been given so far!!!!

the fact that the mangaka was able to create a universe where ALL the gods of ALL the pantheons are in it and it doesn't look like a hot mess??? much respect!

THE FACT THAT FAMOUS HUMANS ARE FIGHTING TOO!!!

THE MATCHUPS ARE AMAZING LIKE IMAGINE BEING TOLD NIKOLA TESLA WAS FIGHTING THE DEVIL

the death scenes!!! yes they're tragic, but they're so well done!!!! the way lu bu's men rallied up to join him in niflhel, the way every human grieved when adam, their father, died, how tesla's last words were to give hope to humanity, I LOVED IT ALL 😭😭😭

least favorite things:

i really need them to explain wtf a demigod is cuz i get how humans are considered demigods (they're humans with the strength of a god) BUT I REALLY NEED AN EXPLANATION ON HOW THE VALKYRIES ARE CONSIDERED DEMIGODS 💀

the gods were.... kinda underwhelming. they seemed more like superhumans than actual gods. poseidon didn't use his water powers? hades didn't summon the dead? no lightning from zeus? most of the gods were fighting physically and not using their actual powers which was kinda...... meh

the list of fighters for both humans and gods.... the gods literally have 5 greeks and 3 norse gods whereas the humans have 4 japanese fighters 🫤 i'd like a lil more diversity

the way the fight scenes are animated in the anime..... they are so bad..... like SO bad 😭😭 my jaw dropped when i watched them

the censoring of the violence and gore in the anime 😔

[toomuchracket]

BABYMOON/ first holiday with baby. Matty holding baby in the pool 🥹

oh my god!! yes. i'm imagining the baba being around eighteen months old (walking and kinda talking and eating solid food) when you take them abroad for the first time (although i think, like, uk city breaks with the baby when they're really little would be so cute, just weekends here and there. although god help you trying to get a pram around, say, edinburgh!). they've been teething non-stop for the past 6 months, and all three of you are a little bit stressed and emotional, and maybe you and matty are watching tv one night after the baby's gone to sleep and there's like a holiday/flight company ad (not the fucking jet2 one though i fucking HATE IT lol), and matty just turns to you and says "let's go on holiday". you don't even need convincing - even the THOUGHT of sunshine and sea air and just warmth has you feeling more relaxed already, so you book it then and there. i think you'd pick somewhere that's not too long a flight from london for you and the baby, so maybe you do two weeks in spain - malaga, perhaps? and obv baba is none the wiser, but you and matty are so excited for your first international family holiday. just like he did before they were born, matty almost goes a bit insane with the clothes shopping - he's buying cute little t-shirts and shorts and swimwear for the baby, a pair of tiny little docs sandals (cutest things on earth btw), little sunhats and baseball caps to protect their scalp in the sun (he defo cries at the tiny hats in the shops don't @ me), and even a pair of baby ray-bans that match his :')) and i think matty would totally spoil you with new clothes too! like, this is the first big thing that's happened to you all since the baby was born, and he just wants to treat and appreciate you, love of his life and mother of his child. and matty knows you so well at this point, like he's so attuned to what kind of clothes you like most and feel your best in, so everything he buys you - mostly pretty sundresses/maxi skirts and swimsuits - is something you'll absolutely love.

anyway, onto the actual holiday. the flight itself is alright - baby sleeps for part of it, then looks at a couple of picture books, and the cabin crew are BESOTTED with them - and so is the journey to your villa (i think you'd probs hire a car, just for ease with the little one). and it's incredible - very private, but in a nice area that you can walk around with the baby, which you do most days. i think you definitely go to the beach at least once - baba is NOT vibing with walking on the sand without their sandals on at first, at which you turn to matty and go "that's your genetics, definitely", but they're fine with it after you convince them to do a bit of paddling in the sea and play the game where you jump over the tiny waves. like they literally will not stop giggling and going "more, mummy!" until they're (and you're) exhausted, and then matty builds sandcastles with them while you sit and read your book, looking up sporadically and awww-ing at the sight of their curly heads bowed intently as they create their masterpiece (you take a sneaky pic, which soon becomes your lockscreen). most days, though, you just spend lazing about in the villa, playing in the garden or in the pool and just enjoying the sun - baba's a bit reluctant towards the sunscreen application process, though, and the only way they'll sit through it is if they see you putting it on matty and vice versa. naturally, matty loves this, because it means he gets to touch up his bikini-clad wife multiple times a day - and that's before the proper touching begins after baby goes to bed at night. anyway, back to daytime; truly your favourite thing about the holiday is watching matty and the baba in the pool, the two of them constantly giggling and splashing about. i think matty genuinely tries to teach the little one to swim, like has their little armbands on and some floaties, but most of the time he just holds them as he floats and walks about the pool, talking and singing and playing games. baba's favourite pool game, though, is one you're involved in too, and it came about by accident - you were standing fanning yourself at the poolside one day, and baba was like "mummy hot?", and matty just looked you up and down smirking and went "oh, mummy's hot alright", and you like rolled your eyes and matty laughed and went "come in with us and cool down" and you were like "yeah ok but don't splash me", so obviously matty held the baby and scooted over to you humming the jaws theme and splashed you and you were like "OI" and baba found the whole thing hilarious, so now you have to let the two of them splash you every time you go into the pool. but you don't mind, obvs - they're your family and you love them and you just all have the best time relaxing and having fun <3

[redstrewn]

I feel like the reason they canceled the poly route is cause it really kinda doesn't make sense. Like even with character development that's basically par for the course in a game like this, their personalities will mostly stay the same and that won't work with a poly route cause they'd fucking kill each other

Admittedly idk anything about poly relationships so i cant really speak on it. However I do think about how the plot kind of makes me think of the hero's/heroine's journey. That is, it can kind of reflect someone's personal journey of transformation/development.

So like, I kind of see how the LIs can stand for the "monster" within yourself too. Facing that monster instead of shunning it or denying it. And being transformed by that experience. Idk I'm kind of talking out of my ass, I'm not completely knowledgeable on the hero's/heroine's journey.

Anyway I mention this because that would make sense with the answer that RSS gave regarding the question of poly routes: they said that there's a certain level of "intimate" that it's not really made to fit for (paraphrasing here, but they did use the word "intimate" or some form of it). By considering the Touchstarved plot as something that could reflect one's personal journey in facing "the other/shunned" within yourself, that one-on-one focus makes sense. I hope I'm making sense lol.

But anyway. I'll use this opportunity to kind of explore the hero's/heroine's journey and Touchstarved since it was always on my mind anyway.

The illusion of the perfect world

The ignorant bliss that MC was in before they set off on their journey. Pre-betrayal and all. Happiness in their temple/with their partner in crime/with their teacher.

2. Betrayal/disillusionment

Traveling mage reveals the true nature of the Unnamed's curse. Partner betrays the Hound. The Alchemist realizing they're being used as a test subject.

3. The awakening & preparing for the journey

MC leaves home. Knows they can no longer stay. They look outside themselves for solutions: the Senobium at Eridia becomes their goal.

4. The descent: passing the gates of judgment

Doubts/fears/shame about their identity and new lifestyle. To move on they must give up their preconceived solution (Senobium, a cure) and doubts holding them back. "This stage can be moved around the journey."

I think it's clear they will have to accept their identity as a monster.

5. The eye of the storm

"A small taste of success brings a false sense of security. They relax and take a chance they shouldn't take."

"Similar to Boon of Success, they triumph for a short period of time. However, this victory serves as a false calm. This stage can be moved around throughout the journey."

Wonder if MC will experience False Security Part 2, Electric Bogaloo. Probably will. There'll probably be a time where everything seems to be going well with their LI. It all goes to shit though. RSS wants to emotionally wreck us after all (that's so based of them).

6. All is lost/death

"Things get worse. There is no hope. They failed and accept defeat."

Yeah I'm pretty sure this tragic ass story will get here.

7. Support

"The hero(ine) accepts the help of the supporter and comes to understand that 'being alone is never enough.' This stage can be moved around throughout the journey."

The LIs could help them or cause their demise.

8. Rebirth/moment of truth

They find their strength/resolve/courage/hope from support. "They fully understand their place in the world and how they will face her doubts." They "awaken" and sees the world and their role in it differently. Faces fear with compassion.

I think whether directly or indirectly, the LIs will teach MC about accepting the monster within themselves.

9. Return to a new world

They see the world for what it really is. They understand themselves better and this changes the way they live from then on. "This change is more spiritual and internally driven than external."

They understand their curse isn't to be cured. They know to live accepting themselves for who they are. They understand their place in this world. Their identity as a monster.

---

I only have passing wikipedia/online blog surface knowledge about hero/heroine's journey, so any clarifications or additional thoughts from anyone would be appreciated.

Edit: I realize after writing this I didn't exactly elaborate on how the LIs themselves can reflect the monster within MC (not just their curse). Idk my mind scattered rn but I guess it's bc MC's curse is purely physical whereas the LIs have set themes that one can relate to. Right now, MC is a blank slate meant to fit anybody. Someone who seems to lack a fully fleshed out theme. Choosing which route to take feels like choosing which monster (and their theme) calls out to you, tbh. The monster within yourself. Idk i project a lot on these characters but I'm not entirely alone. I see a lot of people get attached to the LIs because of recognizing themselves in them.

Edit2: i think it's bc the hero's journey gets compared to like "facing the shadow" and stuff like that. The shadow being "the other." Now Jung is a can of worms when it comes to western-centric beliefs and psychology stuff about this get heavily gendered, but the narrative structure of the journey being personal development and facing what one denies/struggles to face in oneself is pretty relevant methinks.

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

Every publishing milestone, my team sends a little postcard like this one, and honestly if it wasn't for these notes, I wouldn't take the time to actual realize and celebrate these accomplishments along my publishing journey. Some of my favorites include when the postcard I got when my manuscript moved from developmental editing to copyediting because that's when things start to get a little real for me. Another is when we move onto formatting and I have this moment when I kinda of just "blank screen" and realize....that tangled mess that's been floating around in my head for months that I've just spent many more months untangling thanks to the help and guidance of my amazing and wonderful editors is actually going to be made into a book🤯🎉

Anyway, in case you haven't heard yet: IT'S EMBERS OF ETERNITY'S RELEASE DAY!

(Details about Embers of Eternity's release below the cut)

Grab the FREE e-book of Embers of Eternity at bit.ly/heirs02 (international link) and start reading today!

Plus, Fire & Flight is only $0.99/£0.99 in the US and UK until 7/22!

If you like books with...

Magic

Adventure

Mystery

High-stakes danger

An evil sorceress

Original myths & legends

Hidden history coming to light

SLOW burns

and a life-changing decision

...check out Embers of Eternity at bit.ly/heirs02 or shop physical copies at books2read.com/eoe

Full book blurb:

The spirits of the Shadow Forest are waking up.

Hidden in the centuries-old legends of the forest is the history forgotten by the country of Tenebris. But for seventeen-year-old Nyla, the 600-year-old history has become her present. Struggling to break the curse binding her to the Woodlane Manor, she and her companions must race against time to find and defeat Dinora, the evil sorceress of legend, before she can destroy their homeland. With the help of Xander and Shamira, Nyla searches for a way to break the curse that won’t require a hefty sacrifice.

But even as their small victories swell their hope, the real battle is only just beginning. With the trio forced to confront their pasts, they must overcome their present trials and prepare to face the impending future. But what if Dinora raises her army before Nyla and Xander can gather the forces necessary to defeat her? Will they lose everything they had only just begun to dream of?

Return to Tenebris in Embers of Eternity, the stunning sequel to Brianna R. Shaffery’s epic young adult fantasy series, the Heirs of Tenebris.

[opuestocomplementario]

Ugh, I 👏 am 👏 so 👏 fucking 👏 tired 👏 of 👏 people.

Why can't we never have nice things when it comes to BLs?

I am complaining here because this is the only space where people have their brains working or they don't care about it. So basically there was some fan project for Ping and Nut in that place in Bangkok (Pavel and Pooh had one too at the beginning) and there are some videos and moments and all the stuff (they even had like two big ass bouquets of roses). But ofc people can't shut up and enjoy things for once. So I saw some comments on how Nut isn't as "babygirl" and "touchy" and now seems to be uncomfortable with the whole ship.

Can I just repeat what I say before about pairings? I don't necessarily hate the pairings, the actors or the company in itself when it comes to this, I just hate the fans and what they do. And half of them are international which makes me more mad for some reason.

Like, I saw the clips, and I didn't think Nut was being any different than he always is, and he doesn't need to act madly in love and be over the top with Ping at all for this thing. Yes, ofc, the project was for them as a couple (which I will talk about it later) but they were just vibing with it and making jokes with the fans. Just because Nut has said he finds Ping attractive and their characters have some tension and story going on doesn't mean he is obligated to perform a certain way.

This leads me to my other concern with the Pit Babe pairings. So, as we know in Boys Journey, the production kinda, and I mean this as in a implicit way, sold the cast as pairs. The ost of the show is sang and dance in pairs, half of the characters in EP12 were presented as working in two if they weren't explicitly meant to be romantic, they usually made groups with the same people. Even before the show was "well established" they had magazine photoshoots (like Benz and Garfield in a Kazz inteview with PavelPooh and SailubPon). And now, some pairings have events. I mean implicit because until they make something on screen I will not buy any duo.

This looks like that Domundi situation where pairs where very well known but had 0 shows. Like, I remember liking NetJames before they were Bed Friend but then think it was weird how I and many other people were more attached to the performances in real life of these people than the ones on screen.

What's my issue? Pit Babe cast is mainly out of older actors and people who have gone and go out of different shows without fixing it with one person. Making them a fix unit like GMMTV, for me, is a waste of time. They are so talented, so good and they can go in so much stuff alone or with others than marketing this whole thing as it is is just... Idk.

Not everyone needs a couple, not everyone needs to work forever in pairs. Some clearly want to do it (Pavel with Pooh) while others said they want to have many partners (Nut).

Anyway............I hope all of the people in this cast who wants to keep working get to have many events, shootings, scripts and stuff happen to them and people who shit on them get fucked 😊.

Pd: Go watch OneNightStand with Pon, Ping and Lee on Youtube

[hanniejji]

ANGST IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maple is now extremely strong because all of that training and stuff. So Kokomi thaugh that Maple could really help in a battle. Ayato didn't let Maple, because after all, Maple is just a kid. But Maple took this opportunity to see how strong they are rn. So Maple told Ayato that they will go see Yoimiya or smth.

AND

Now Maple is fighting, everything is going well for now. But then Maple saw someone familiar.

"Kazuha...?" They kinda freezed at the spot and didn't notice that a soldier was shooting them with arrow.

NOOOWWWW😋😋😋YK what happeneds UwU

Anyways happy ending:

maple wakes up in hospital or whatever, in bed with Kazuha sleeping on the end of bed. (YK YK LIKE HE IS ON HIS KNEES AND HIS HEAD IS ON BED YK YK)

-🍑

i dread the moment i see peach anon in my inbox because they always bring angst to me and i don't know whether i should be grateful or not

KOKOMI WHAT IN THE WORLD MADE YOU THINK THAT BRINGING A CHILD TO A WAR IS A GOOD IDEA?

so yes i really think it would be just them sneaking out and trying to prove to ayato and internally they want kazuha to know of their strength too that they're capable of taking care of their own

and yes i prefer the happy ending goddammit

seeing kazuha beside them would turn the events so fucking much. imagine hating your brother for a year and seeing them in battle and beside your hospital bed when all this time you thought they didn't care about you? maple's conflicted and is emotionally overwhelmed. they don't know whether to be happy or not. deep inside though, they know they're happy to see him. no matter how much they deny it, they miss him terribly. but they're also still upset and frustrated and confused to the point that they just end up bursting into tears.

this would wake kazuha, who snaps to sit up the moment he hears their cries after a year of not seeing them.

when he tries to comfort them, this is when maple just... explodes on him. they yell at him—something they hadn't done before—everything they bottled up just pours out and into kazuha's trembling hands. they curse him while telling him how horrible it was to be separated from him, tells him they hate him but complains about how painful training was but they persevered because they wanted to be good enough for him, tells him that they don't want him back and that they don't need him but whimpers how lonely it was and to "stay, please, i don't know what to do without you."

in the middle of this, they hadn't noticed that kazuha had taken them in his arms and they have been hugging him tightly. they'd panic, trying to push him away and crying harder because they hurt him and he'll never want to be with them anymore.

but kazuha keeps them against his chest—they suddenly notice how fast his heartbeat was and the tears at the side of their head, his tears.

contrast to their yelling, kazuha speaks in the softest voice—a little shaky because of his tears—and admits how it was foolish of him to think that they'd have a better life in the care of the kamisato and that they won't suffer as much if he doesn't take them with him. he admits that he wanted to go back and bring them with him, but we feared that the tempest of storms will hurt them in their journey. he tells them of nights that he'd see them in his sleep, ten years from now, cursing him and hating him. tells them of the nights he'd cry himself to sleep because he missed having them in his arms and that maybe they're feeling cold without him too. he keeps apologizing, "i'm sorry, i'm terribly sorry, i'm sorry."

maple whispers that they too felt cold, the whole year they had been separated from him.

and for once, maple forgot everything and held their brother in a tight hug.

kazuha would later ask kokomi for help with the ache around his torso.