#that's what you get for setting my friend on fire

[writeaboutit]

Donation Boot

How firefighter Abby and Reader met

Hello hello it’s been a bit so sorry but I had this idea for a series of sorts following firefighter Abby x Reader through life. I have ideas for a couple more stories but if you have any suggestions leave them in my inbox for sure 🤍

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: none just fluff

You heard her key jingle in the lock from the kitchen. The metal on metal scratching noise was like music to your ears despite it being like nails on a chalkboard to others.

That noise meant your wife was finally home. All day you had been waiting for her to come home, missing her warm cuddles. She left for the station before you had even woken up.

Usually you stirred awake for the briefest of moments in those early hours when you heard the shower start, you made it a point to stay awake just long enough to say an I love you as you sent her off to do her work. You never knew when it might be your last so you didn’t chance it.

But last night the melatonin must have hit you extra hard because you didn’t even register Abby’s movements when she leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to your brow bone before clunking out of the room in her steel toed boots.

You regretted not waking up; no more melatonin for you.

The front door creaked open and you heard your dog’s collar jingle as she ran to greet your wife.

Abby must have been following the dogs lead to your presence in the kitchen because you heard her mutter, “Come on, where’s your momma?”

Your heart was instantly a mushy puddle on the tile floor following the comment. Just as you finished drying your hands the love of your life rounded the corner.

She was wearing her normal uniform. Not the big, bulky, fireproof suit but the fitted jeans and the navy blue t-shirt with the station’s logo over her breast.

You were such a sucker for a woman in uniform, it’s how she caught your attention in the first place. But what kept you around was that blinding smile she had plastered across her face that first day.

You and your friends decided to visit your local farmers market during second year of college. It was a fluke really, you weren’t even planning to go with them but after days of them whining that you could spare a couple of hours away from the text books and come have fun you agreed.

The local fire station had a booth set up collecting donations and the truck open for kids to climb in and take pictures.

One of your friends thought a fire fighter was hot and insisted on getting a picture with him by the truck (her very obvious way of flirting). You couldn’t blame her though because you had your eye on one of the younger trainees.

She was working the booth, tracking donation levels and you knew you would hate yourself for the rest of your life if you ignored your gut.

So, despite you being 19 and a broke college student you approached. They were collecting cash donations in one of the big fire suit boots.

You slipped the only cash you had on you into the dark depths of the boot, ten dollars, and were planning to make your way back to your friends, chickening out of talking to her, when all of the sudden you heard, “Hey, wait!”

You turned around and there she was. She had gotten up from her perch and made her way around the table. It was a bit jarring at first. She was tall, muscular, that tight ponytail made her look very sever, and here she was leaning over you with an expectant look.

“Yes?” you asked hesitantly.

“Don’t you want your coupons?” she asked suddenly realizing that she was close and backing up a step.

“Sorry?”

The confusion must have been written on your face because she immediately explained in a sort of rambily but very cute way, “When you donate you get a coupon to the local grocery store… and some other stores but honestly there all the old lady stores in the mall. The grocery ones the only one worth it.”

You just smiled softly at her over explanation. You expected her to be this over confident, maybe slightly douchy character from the way she approached before but really you could see her nerves peaking through now.

It only made you more attracted to her in all honesty.

“Oh right, yeah thanks.” you took the coupon sheet from her and after a moment of tense silence between the pair of you, you both went your separate ways.

It wasn’t until later that night when you went to cut out the grocery coupon and throw out the rest that you realized she had messily scribbled her name and number onto the think colorful price of paper.

You squealed, your roommate asked what was wrong and then you both quickly plotted on what you should text her.

It was simple really just a quick hey this is so n’ so, how are you?

Your phone only sat face down for a total of three minutes before you heard the chime of her reply and the rest is history.

Now seven years later your wife, the nervous fire fighter with the tight ponytail, was coming home to you. You would share a meal, a shower, a bed. It was the life you always wanted and all because you went to a farmers market on a random Sunday seven years ago.

That blinding smile that caught your attention all those years ago was plastered across her face now in the small kitchen of your small house.

Her setting her bag down on the island brings you out of your memory.

“Hey honey,” you greet, making your way to her.

“Hi baby, what were you thinking about just now?” she wraps her arms loosely around your waist.

“Hmm nothing much just your pretty smile,” she rolls her eyes, never one to take a compliment, “Speaking of which, that smile usually means you’re plotting something. What is it?”

She looks down at you and smiles, “You know me too well. I was plotting on what we are going to do over the next three days that I have off of work.”

That gets you excited. It’s not often that she gets time off of work. Sometimes you don’t even see her for days at a time when she has to sleep at the station. Three days off in a row is practically unheard of.

“Really?”

“Swear,” she kisses your forehead.

“Eek, so what were you planning?”

She chuckles and belts her arms just under your thighs, lifting you into the air, “Oh I think you know exactly what i have planned.”

Her voice turned seductive and husky. You squealed as you became level with her face. You both laughed into a soft kiss, one that was definitely going to lead to a forgotten dinner on the stove and a closed bedroom door.

[ak319]

Weird Yan Cousin x reader (Platonic)

//Warnings: Mentions of prostitution, human trafficking, kidnapping, weird behaviour but not incest, gore)

Your life had taken such a twisted turn for the worse this year, leaving you wondering if you were cursed. First, your parents died tragically in a fire that destroyed their home. Then, you found out your partner had been unfaithful. Since you shared an apartment, you had to move out, but they stayed, and the two of you were still arguing about selling it to split the money.

As if that wasn’t enough, you lost your job just three days after the breakup--allegedly for poor performance, which was completely untrue. None of this was your fault, yet everything seemed to be spiralling out of control. You were teetering on the edge when you received a strange phone call.

It was from someone claiming to be a distant cousin, Nova Salem. The name struck a chord--she was from your father’s side, the daughter of your uncle Ralph. But you had never met her or any of that side of the family. Your father had severed ties with them long ago. Ralph was only his half-brother, born from your second grandfather, Edmund Salem, whom you’d also never met.

Her sudden call made you feel uneasy, but you were desperate for help, and she offered it without hesitation. Pushing aside all the questions swirling in your mind--about your family dynamics, her abrupt contact, and the series of unfortunate events that felt like a row of dominoes crashing--you packed your bag. The next day, Nova's chauffeuse, Robyn, picked you up from your friend's place.

Robyn was an odd one, giving you mostly one-word, cryptic answers to anything you asked. What really threw you, though, was the route she took. You’d assumed Nova lived somewhere in the city, but Robyn just kept driving... and driving.

Now, here you were, standing in front of a massive estate in the middle of nowhere. You nearly jumped out of your skin when Robyn suddenly spoke from behind you.

"Let's get you inside, ma'am." Robyn's voice cut through the eerie silence as you gripped the strap of your bag, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Um, are you sure this is--"

"Yes, it's the Salem estate."

You glanced around, trying to keep your nerves in check. It could easily pass as a horror movie set, noting the distant tree line, the stormy skies, and the endless dirt road behind. Was this even the right choice? Panic started to creep in. What if she's not my cousin and just stalked my family tree to lure me here?! I am so stupid!

"Welcome, cousin."

Your eyes snapped forward to see a tall figure standing in the entrance, finally registering. Nova, no doubt. She stood taller than you, with short, thick black hair neatly styled, wearing a black turtleneck beneath a long cloak-like robe, paired with black pants...and bare feet?

Before you could even react, she closed the distance and pulled you into a tight hug, muffling your greeting and leaving you a bit breathless from the unexpected embrace.

"I can't believe you're finally here! You see this, Robyn?!" Nova exclaimed, her large hand gripping your head and shaking it playfully. "My little sister is here at last!"

Robyn merely nodded and silently took your other suitcase inside, leaving just the two of you.

"S-sister?" you stammered, taken aback. Her eyes gleamed even brighter, if that was possible, the intensity in her gaze at odds with her composed appearance.

"Indeed, my soror," she affirmed, her hands now firmly grasping your shoulders. "I never got the chance to feel the love of siblings, and with all the family drama and stuff, I was always left out. I never had the chance to have any real connection with family. You’re the only cousin I have."

Her words tugged at your heart, though you couldn’t shake the underlying suspicion.

"No other cousins at all?" you asked, cautiously.

"Nope. My mother was an only child. Anyway, let's get you inside." Nova kept her hold on you, gently steering you toward the entrance. Just before stepping in, she paused, making sure you took off your shoes in the porch. "Enter humbly," she said with a strange conviction. "We are born of the earth, and to the earth, we will return. It’s only right that we honour our origin, for soil should never fear soil."

What? The statement left you puzzled, but you decided to go along with it, stepping inside the dimly lit hallway.

Candles? Really?

"Um, why are the lights off?" you asked, your voice slightly shaky.

"Electricity? Oh, I forgot--you’re a city girl," Nova replied, her tone almost teasing. "I'll ask Robyn to have the switch on for your room--the fan, the lights---but the rest of the house operates without it."

"Why, though? In this day and age? Like, nothing at all?"

Instead of answering, she simply let out a low, eerie chuckle, leaving your nervous laugh hanging awkwardly in the heavy air.

"Let me show you your room." Nova's voice echoed down the dimly lit corridor, where candle flames flickered against the walls, casting long, dancing shadows. The mansion’s interior had an unmistakably gothic feel, with dark wood panelling, high arched ceilings and classic, aged furnishings. The air was thick with an old-world charm as if you had stepped into a place frozen in time. The paintings on the walls, though faded with age, exuded an eerie beauty, depicting somber figures mostly of a woman--always the same portrait of her--and forgotten landscapes

You stepped inside the room, expecting more of the same gloomy charm, only to freeze in disbelief.

What the hell is going on?

"Why is it… all… pink?" you asked, blinking at the sight before you. The walls were plastered with Barbie stickers that looked as vintage as the rest of the house. The bed was oversized and covered in frilly pink bedding, surrounded by plush toys that had seen better days.

"Isn't this what girls love?" Nova said with a wide, innocent smile. "Like little sisters?"

You spun around, trying to process everything. "Hold up. I just met you for the first time ever, so can you please stop calling me your little sister? We're cousins and barely even know each other." Your voice rose as you gestured at the pink explosion around you. "Also, do you think I’m 12?!" The moment the words left your mouth, you felt a pang of regret. Nova’s smile faded, and she looked taken aback. Guilt set in as you realized how harshly you had reacted. She had offered you a place to stay during a rough time. Maybe you could have been more understanding and patient, especially considering she provided you with a bed and a roof over your head.

"Oh my God..." For Nova, that was the most adorable thing she had ever witnessed.

"Um... I--"

"ROBYN! ROBYN!" Nova’s voice cut through the air, making you back away nervously. Her gaze remained fixed on you as she continued to shout.

"Yes, ma'am? How may I assist you?"

"(Y/n)..." Nova grabbed Robyn by the collar, shaking her with surprising force. "My sister--sorry, soon-to-be sister--just had her first tantrum! All thanks to you, Robyn, you absolute genius!"

What in the world--is she being excited or just passive-aggressive? You couldn’t tell.

"It’s okay! I mean, I like it... It’s good."

"You do? You don’t want another room?"

"Um, if... it’s available th--"

"No, it isn’t."

"...this is it then... I guess."

"Robyn, get the food ready. My cousin needs her evening nourishment."

"Aye."

They left you standing in the room, utterly dumbfounded. Everything about this day--and about her--was making you feel dizzy. The way she carries herself, the way she speaks--it’s all becoming a blur. Something in your heart warns that this is going to be a nightmare.

But at least you’re not in some serial killer’s clutches, as you feared before entering. Being an only child and living in such a large mansion might have messed with her mental health, but you hoped it hadn’t gotten worse than this.

The sudden flicker of the lights jolted you from your thoughts, making your soul feel like it had left your body. The room’s colour was now painfully vivid, almost too much to bear. Honestly, the dim glow of the candles was easier on the eyes.

You soon found yourself dining with Nova in the grand dining hall, the two of you beginning to learn about each other. Mostly, you listened to her recounting her adventures. It was impressive how many languages she knew and the places she had visited, though she seemed completely oblivious to modern slang and anything related to media, which you found a bit amusing.

"Anthropologist, huh? Isn't it boring?"

"Boring?" She cackled, her laughter echoing through the vast room. "Absolutely not! I get to travel, explore, and find fascinating things." Judging by the eclectic items scattered around the room, she was certainly telling the truth.

"You seem to have a fondness for skulls."

"Oh! Haha! Aren't they so symbolic in their own way? They are empty, yet their hollow eyes seem to gaze into the essence of mortality itself. Each one holds the silent echoes of a life once lived, a reminder of our own fleeting existence and the stories that we leave behind."

"Are they real?"

"I leave that to the admirer to decide. What do you think?"

"Fake or maybe both, judging by how much you’ve explored."

"You think I’d bring skulls from my adventures?"

"Umm..."

Her laugh interrupted you again. "You’re so naive, (Y/N)."

Just as I suspected.

"Anyway, what about your love life?"

"I don't feel attracted to the idea of being subjected to bodily fluids, particularly in moments of passion. " You felt your appetite slip away.

That’s a rather...unique way to say you’re asexual and single...?

"Cool. But doesn’t it get lonely here?"

"Loneliness isn’t something I mind. Besides, I’m not alone--I have Robyn and now you. A little-"

"Cousin."

"Indeed, a little cousin." You picked up your phone and then realized something. "Oh, I need the Wi-Fi password."

"Sorry, but that might not be possible."

"What?! Don’t tell me you don’t use Wi-Fi! That’s atrocious."

"You see, this technology that the youth have become so attached to has many malevolent effects. I cannot let you be subjected to that."

"What do you mean?! I need to find a job! And how do you do your own work?" Her calm demeanour remained unshaken as Robyn appeared behind you, slamming a newspaper down in front of you. The suddenness startled you. What is it with these people and their jump scares?

"This is today’s paper and your source for finding work."

"Are you kidding me? I need Wi-Fi for my job. I do half of my work online!"

"I’ll need to observe the signs this week. If they are favorable, you might get access. Farewell, cousin. Have a good sleep. Robyn, please escort her to her chambers." You clenched your jaw as she walked away. "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! WHAT SIGNS?! SO YOU DO HAVE WI-FI?!"

God, what is going on? Is this a fever dream?

You were absolutely enraged in the following days. Apparently, the signs were negative, which meant you were stuck with no FUCKING Wi-Fi!

"Maybe the signs will be positive next month."

Whatever that means. In the meantime, you faced a series of bizarre occurrences that only deepened the unsettling feeling about your stay here and made you question reality. Despite her insistence on not using electricity, the candles lit themselves as if by some hidden mechanism. You were certain she used Wi-Fi--how else would she manage her research and extensive travels?

Her behavior was equally bewildering. She walked barefoot, even in the muddy grass outside during the rain, and would spend hours out there.

Some events left you sleepless for nights.

You once saw her talking to a pillar in the lawn from your bedroom window at night. At first, you thought she might be on a call, but no. She was facing the pillar the entire time. And then there was the incident where she literally smelled your... period.

"Eat this," she said, offering you a bowl of literal pickles. You swatted it away.

"What the fuck, dude?!"

"It’s to relieve menstrual pains. Although not scientifically proven, it is a good remedy."

"I’m fine. AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT AGAIN?!"

"Just a matter of having good senses."

In the evenings, she always visited you for tea, bringing her two black hounds along. Despite your protests, she continued to bring them inside. You hated how they always seemed to sniff under the bed, her dark, void-like eyes trained on them as if she wanted them to find something.

Wouldn't want her cousin hiding something, would she? Perhaps thinking she could slip away, unnoticed, back to her old life?

Due to the lack of Wi-Fi, you spent most of your time reading books and exploring the mansion, trying out the strange array of activities Nova had set up for you. She instructed Robyn to teach you various skills like shooting, wrestling, and knife throwing....? You enjoyed it though but yes, you were shocked to discover that Robyn wasn’t just a driver, chef, or butler but seemed to be some sort of retired hitwoman. She never confirmed nor spoke about herself, adding to the mystery.

Despite the chaos and strangeness, you found yourself adapting to this bizarre new routine, almost treating it like a vacation and unexpectedly lifting you out of your depression.

You tried finding jobs but with no success. Every time you found a promising ad, something mysteriously went wrong with the car. It always seemed to break down, as if on cue. The phone in the estate barely worked, with your friend's voice garbled into unintelligible fragments or the call cutting off entirely before you could get a full sentence in. It was as if the house itself refused to let any connection to the outside world slip through.

One day, you had had enough of watching Nova work on her COMPUTER in her study while you languished in boredom.

"Look, I appreciate your hospitality, but it seems I’ve actually found a job, and it's time for me to-"

"You haven’t," Nova said, her voice smooth but chilling as she stepped closer, her face half-hidden in the shadows. "Don’t lie. I despise liars."

"Nova, I’ve had enough of this. I’m sorry, but living here is overwhelming with all the bizarre restrictions, the eerie silence, and the lack of contact with anyone! I can’t stay here. I need to go out and find a job! I didn’t come here to live permanently."

"And you think you have a say in that, cousin?"

"Wha-" Before you could finish, a cloth soaked in a strong, suffocating chemical was pressed against your face. The world around you blurred and faded as you struggled to breathe, slipping into unconsciousness.

"You are not going anywhere, Duif." (dove, in Dutch)

You woke up to the unsettling sound of floorboards creaking and the ominous clinking of metal against metal. Your body felt unnervingly cold, and you soon realized you were bound to a chair with ropes.

"Awake, (Y/N)?" Nova's voice, as smooth and chilling as velvet, made your blood run cold. You shivered uncontrollably as you saw her standing a few feet away. Robyn was in another corner, methodically sharpening a row of gleaming knives.

God, no. This can't be happening...

"Please... Nova, what is happening?! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! Please!" You didn’t care that you were pleading and sobbing in front of this lunatic. Fear clutched at your heart, twisting it painfully. You regretted everything that had led you to this point. You’d already lost your parents, your partner, your job--was your life now slipping through your fingers as well?

"Shush. Don't be scared. I just want you to listen to me. And carefully." Nova said as she grabbed a stool and sat in front of you. Where are we even? Is this some hidden room? Your eyes darted around frantically, taking in the grim surroundings, chains hanging from the bloody walls, a nailed coffin standing ominously in the corner, a table cluttered with various torture tools that Robyn stood beside, and, bizarrely, a fucking jacuzzi in the corner.

"Listen, it's time I tell you the things you need to know. About me, this family and even yours. You see (Y/N), my father, Ralph Salem, he wasn't a good man. He was involved in all types of bad things. Especially regarding...women. I was a teen when I found out he was involved in trafficking girls, the reason he fucked around with lots of women and... young girls, simultaneously abusing my mother mentally and physically. When he caught her leaving with me, he killed her... in front of me. Imagine that, I couldn't do anything." She paused with a dry scoff, "You have seen that pillar right? The devil buried her under it. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to die but he kept me alive because I was his heir, with his fucking disgusting blood inside of me. So I waited, I became the perfect heir for him only so that I could kill him in the most brutal way...which I did," You whimpered at her dark chuckle as she wiped your tears.

"Do you know where you come in?" Nova's voice was icy as she continued. "I began researching you the moment I discovered your existence. I wanted some form of familial love, even after I convinced myself I didn’t need anyone." Abruptly, she rose and moved to Robyn, taking a freshly sharpened knife from her hands.

"Guess what I found? Your parents were my father's business partners at one point. You see these skeletons here?" She gestured to the grim collection. "These are the people I hunt, (Y/N)--the ones my father worked with, those entangled in this... industry. And I continue hunting them. So I did to your parents what I did to all of them. Robyn, show her."

The butler pulled a lever, causing a hidden closet to open. Inside, the bodies of your parents were revealed--half burned, half slashed, with their limbs gone, only torsos-making you scream in horror.

"The bodies at the crime scene weren’t theirs. I used my connections to save them for you--along with another surprise," Nova said, her voice dripping with cold satisfaction as she slid the door open further. There, your partner’s corpse was revealed, grotesquely nailed to the wall like a butterfly, their chest open and hollow, blood eagle...which Nova once told you about. Without warning, you threw up to the side, your legs trembling uncontrollably. You could barely breathe, each gulp of air shallow and shaky, and you felt the world closing in. Please just let this be a nightmare. Wake up (Y/n), wake up!

"Did I mention that I eliminate bad partners too? How could I let them live after what they did to my dear...cousin?" She stepped closer, the knife gleaming in her hand. You shook your head desperately, unable to form coherent words. With a swift motion, she cut the ropes binding you, forcing you to stand. Her gaze was fierce, unyielding.

"You, however , were innocent, unaware of your parent's past. So from now on, you are a Salem. You will live here, as you are meant to." Her gaze darkened. "This is your place, your family. And I won’t have you trying to run away."

You slammed the trunk door shut and turned to Nova, who was meticulously removing her gloves.

"He was quite the noisy one," she remarked with a nod. "Indeed, sestra. Though you did a commendable job tracking him, little nerd. Now, let’s head back. My favourite part awaits in the mansion."

Ah, yes, it was Wednesday--skinning day.

From a software engineer to an assistant to a serial killer cousin with an intriguing butler, you found yourself strangely enthralled by this new life.

‘I want this world to be rid of those like my father, who mirror him in even the slightest way, together with you, my dear cousin.’

(AN: I realised that Nova might have put her own childhood plushies in the reader's room, which tugs my heart😭my baby)

[daggerspare-standingby]

THE CHASE - Part 8 | Hangman X Reader

I’m so sorry for the long wait on this part. There’s been a lot happening for me the last little while. I turned 30 yesterday and it was a bittersweet day for me. Lots of tears this whole week.

As always, thank you so much for the support and love on this story and in general! It means the world to me. Picking up where we left off and getting a little spicy! Thanks @dizzybee03 for helping me through my plot block!

Warnings; teasing, dry humping, I don’t think there’s anything else but I’m posting from my phone so maybe? Let me know if there’s something I missed!

PART 8

“Well then, what are you waiting for Seresin? Kiss me.” Jake’s brain must have short circuited. Looking at you standing in front of him, in that adorable looking sundress, the half drank beer bottle hanging from your fingers, asking him to kiss you. He stood up, the glow of the flames flickering across both of your faces, as your eyes searched his face, he searched yours. He lifted his hand to brush his knuckles against the apples of your cheeks, warm from the sun and the fire. “Are you sure Darlin? Once we do this, there isn’t any going back.” You met his gaze head on, the flames from the bonfire reflecting in your intense stare. Jake cupped your cheek and pulled you closer to him, his other hand snaking around your waist as his lips slanted against yours in a soft kiss. You brought your arms up around his neck and held yourself closer to him, kissing back.

Neither of you heard any of the whistles, cheers and “told you so’s” that were emanating from the group, you were so wrapped up in the feel of each other. You feeling the warmth of Jake’s body against your front and the heat of the fire against your back, the softness of his lips on yours as he maintained a PDA safe kiss, the smell of wood burning, mixed with his signature cinnamon and sandalwood scent and combined with coconut and salt from the lotion you’d both applied throughout the day. It was perfect in your mind. When he pulled away from you slowly, your eyes fluttered open, meeting his sincere gaze “guess there’s no going back now Darlin’” You smiled and shook your head “guess not”. You both turned to face your friends, hands intertwined. Bradley was grinning ear to ear, Natasha who looked partially disgusted because “Bagman?! Really?” You rolled your eyes with a smile that she returned before glaring at Jake and poking him in his ridiculously solid chest “be good to her Bagman, if Penny loses another bartender, she’ll kill you. But this one’s actually our friend too so if you break her heart I’ll break you.” You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at her threat and gave her a hug “thanks for having my back Nat.” Javy was the only one who was grinning like the cat that got the cream, as he approached Jake and gave him a strong slap on the shoulder and then pulled him into a hug and said quietly into his ear “I’m proud of you, man.” He then pulled you into a hug too, lifting you up off the ground “finally!” You laughed and patted his back “thanks Javy.” Jake smirked “get your hands off my girlfriend, Machado.” Javy grinned at him and set you back down, “you have no idea how long he’s been waiting to say that.” You looked at Jake whose cheeks were tinted pink and you leaned into his side, relishing in the warmth from his body heat and the fire. You two returned to your seats by the fire and the rest of the squad joined you, breaking off into their own conversations.

This was not what you had expected to happen on your day off. In less than 12 hours you got asked out by a friend, a new boyfriend, and all your friends had found out about the relationship. After a whirlwind day and the blazing heat on the beach, being sat next to a roaring fire and Jake’s warm body beside you, you began dozing off. Only when the warm beer was removed from your slackening grip and a pair of even warmer arms were wrapped around you and you were lifted up did you start to rouse briefly, before the warm smell of sandalwood and cinnamon, smokiness and coconut sunscreen lulled you back under. “I’ll get her home, thanks Phoenix.” Jake’s tone was hushed, as to not wake you as he lifted you easily into his arms, Coyote had grabbed both of your bags and walked ahead of him to the truck to open the passenger door for him to set you inside. Once he had you buckled in, he closed the door and gave Javi a bro hug before climbing in himself and pulling out of the parking lot towards your place.

You felt it as soon as his truck stopped in front of your place, but you kept your eyes closed to relish in the feeling of his warm embrace. You heard him rustling around and when he got out of the truck but it took longer than it should have for him to come around to your side, you almost opened your eyes to check, but as you were about to you heard him on the opposite side of the door, opening it and reaching in to unbuckle you. “Come on sunshine” he scooped you into his arms easily, as if you weighed nothing and carried you right up the front steps and into the house. He kicked the door closed and that's when you realized he must have gone to open the door before coming to get you. He brought you into your bedroom and you squeaked when he tossed you onto the bed not so gracefully. Your eyes shot open and you were met with his shit eating grin “you snore Darlin’.” Your mouth dropped in mock shock but didn’t stay that way long as you began giggling “sorry, the heat must have knocked me out” You sat up on your knees and moved towards him, almost eye to eye with him while you were kneeling on the bed and he was standing, it sent shivers up your spine. “I should get going…” He didn’t look convinced at his own words, in fact you were sure it wouldn’t take anything to get him to stay. His hands were stuffed deep in his pockets and he was looking at you with such tenderness that it made your heart ache a little. You brushed your fingers along his cheek softly as your eyes met his and you said quietly “stay…” You saw his resolve crumbling behind the green of his eyes and you moved a little closer to him, letting your other hand rest against his chest “please?”

Jake was a goner. He was so hooked on you that you could probably ask him to do any number of things that would get him kicked out of the Navy and he’d happily do it just to see the smile on your face. When you asked him to stay and added the small please after, coupled with your hands on him, he nearly let the moan that was buried deep in his chest escape. Instead he slipped his hands out of his pockets and around your waist, as he pulled you the rest of the way in for a breathtaking kiss, figuring that if his mouth was busy he wouldn’t say something stupid like ‘I love you’ or ‘will you marry me’ both of which were bouncing around in his primitive brain because he knew deep in his bones that he wanted to make you his forever. But he couldn’t scare you. So he kissed you, with everything in his body that he could muster. It was so forceful that you fell back on the bed, pulling him on top of you and giggling, as he chased your lips with his. You ran your hands through his sun kissed tresses and he instantly felt the tension ease out of his body and you couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped you at the feel of his weight on you, even though he was careful not to crush you. At that sound, a sound that of course went straight south, he pulled away, sitting back on his knees looking at you spread out below him, chest heaving, dress slightly askew, eyes wild and cheeks pink. He wanted to burn this image into his mind forever. You reached back up for him, your hand running down his chest over his t-shirt before your fingers slipped underneath it brushing against his abs. He inhaled sharply “Darlin’”

The look you gave him should have struck him dead if he was anyone else, but he was Jake, and he was a little turned on when a girl was mean to him. “Don’t you Darlin’ me Seresin.” You sat up, legs still mostly pinned between his thighs. “We are both consenting adults, and I’m positive I don’t have to explain to you that there are a number of things that we can do without having sex.” He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. God he was obsessed with you. He cupped your face tenderly as he leaned down to capture your lips in a soft kiss that was very much Jake and not Hangman at all. “I just wanted to make sure you were sure of what you wanted to do.” You looked up at him with an eyebrow raised, before you pushed up his shirt and took it off him before tossing it somewhere in your room “I’m sure, so so sure.” Your hands found their way to his shoulders as you pulled him back down on top of you, lips finding their way together like magnets.

Jake was positive there would be no other feeling better than your lips on his, and the way your waist was seemingly molded to his hands like it was carved out just for him. Your entire body just fit with his like a puzzle piece and the sounds you made as he let his hands roam your form made him never want to stop touching you. Somehow, you had rolled the two of you so he was pressed against your mattress and you were atop him, straddling his hips. He knew you could feel his erection and he was about to pull away to adjust when you pressed yourself with more force and let a breathless moan slip from your lips. He tensed under you, causing you to pull further away to look at him as you continued to slightly move your hips against him, essentially dry riding his erection. The wink you shot him before letting your head tip back told him you knew exactly what you were doing and doing it on purpose. His hands slipped down your waist to your hips as he helped to guide you, mesmerized by the way your body was moving, lost in the way you knew what you wanted, and the way you took it while still honoring the fact that he wanted to wait a little longer before actually sleeping with you. And when you finally came undone, with all your clothes on, he was able to see exactly how your body reacted; the sheen of sweat along your chest and neck, the way your hands had cupped your tits just before you came, the way your eyes closed and mouth opened in a silent o, and he felt your thigh muscles tighten around his waist and then immediately relax as soon as you came. He filed that away in his memory bank for next time because he wanted to make sure you always had that reaction with him. He was so caught up in watching you he didn’t feel his own release building up until it was too late. “Oh shit.”

Your body was wound so tightly, everything about him surrounded your senses and that alone was almost enough to make you cum. The way he helped guide your hips as you dry humped him, the small squeeze he gave to your thighs at random moments when he probably thought you weren’t going to notice, the way his green eyes never left your face for a moment, and of course the way his length was hard as a rock beneath you, everything coupled together made for a perfect storm and with another swirl of your hips you came for him, soaking your swimsuit bottoms and likely his too.

Your body shook with spasms of aftershocks as Jake pulled you down against his chest, hands immediately running up and down your back and muttered praises into your ear. “Shh I’ve got you baby, such a good girl, I’ve got you.” You let out a small whimper at the “good girl” and then went nearly boneless on top of him. “M’sorry, gimme a minute” you mumbled into his neck as he just continued rubbing your back and let out a soft chuckle “when you’re ready”. He was still semi-hard between your legs and another shiver ran through you at the thought of his stamina. After a few minutes, you pushed yourself up slightly with your hands on his chest, and pressed your lips to his lightly. It seemed he read your mind because before you could move your hands lower on his chest and mutter “your turn”, he grabbed your wrists and held your palms flat on his pecs “this is about you Darlin’. I’m good.” As you were about to protest he silenced you with a kiss “really, I’m good to just lay here with you.” You just about melted into a puddle at his words “but-” He shook his head “no buts.” You realized you weren’t going to win any argument with him, so you settled for climbing off his lap “I’m going to go shower and brush my teeth… I’ll leave an extra toothbrush for you” He nodded and watched as you made your way into the ensuite bathroom and left the door a tiny bit open as an invitation.

Once you were in the bathroom Jake relaxed into the pillows and ran his hands over his face and through his hair. How did he just cum in his shorts like a fucking teenager. When he heard the water turn on in the shower, he stood up and removed his soaked swim trunks, he couldn’t tell what was yours and what was his and it was low key hot as fuck. As he was about to grab a fresh pair of boxer briefs from his duffel, he paused, eyes moving to the bathroom door that you left partially open. He stood up straight and before his brain could talk him out of it, walked into the bathroom with as much confidence as he could muster to join you in the shower.

You were humming along to a tune in your head and Jake watched your shadow on the curtain for a brief moment as you brought your hands up to run them through your hair. You looked like you had your back to the curtain, face under the spray, so he took advantage and pulled back the curtain and stepped in behind you, pulling the curtain closed again. His hands immediately found their way to your waist and he gave himself a little distance between your bodies, as much as he could being in a confined shower stall. He was mesmerized by the way the water trailed down your back and your ass was a lot cuter naked than it was in any piece of clothing he’d seen you in. Jake’s hands found their way to your waist, leaving goosebumps in their wake as you brought your hands down to meet his before you looked at him over your shoulder, fighting the urge to cast your glance downwards “I’m glad you joined me”. He pressed a small kiss to your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him as he reached for the loofah with one hand, soaping it up and beginning to run it across your back and shoulders “i’m glad I did too, you have a really cute butt.” You giggled “Jake Seresin, are you an ass man?” He shrugged “only for you.” He continued sudsing you up and you let your body relax into it, enjoying the comfortable silence. He guided your body under the warm spray again to rinse off and you turned to face him, arms wrapping around his neck and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Will you stay tonight?” He wanted to laugh, as if he could leave you now. He would stay with you even if it meant getting up at 4 am to be on base at 6. He pressed his lips against your again “of course, Darlin. I think you’re going to have a hard time gettin’ rid of me now that you let me in.” You giggled and ran your hands along his shoulders, marveling at how normally you were hardened against men’s advances, but with Jake here in your house, touching you so gently, you turned into a puddle. You were a bit surprised he hadn’t turned the touching into anything even remotely sexual and you hadn’t even looked, but you could feel, and even soft he was impressive. Jake tilted your chin up to meet your eyes with his “not tonight, go towel off and get into bed. I’m right behind you Darlin’” You sank your teeth into your bottom lip as you stepped out of the shower and into the cooler bathroom air, skin prickling with goosebumps. You wrapped yourself in your fluffy towel and grabbed one for Jake as well, before going about your nightly routine

Jake turned off the water and wrapped the towel around his waist, before joining you next to the sink, not missing the way your eyes followed a water droplet that trailed down the middle of his chest and into the towel. He took the extra toothbrush you offered and began brushing alongside you and when he finished rinsing he pressed his lips to your cheek and left the bathroom so you could finish your routine. He slipped on his boxer briefs and ran the towel through his hair a few times, before checking the route to base from your house and setting his alarm. Then he lay in bed waiting for you. He admired, with a soft smile on his face, as you came out of the bathroom still wrapped in your towel and grabbed yourself panties and something to sleep in, before slipping back into the bathroom. When you emerged the next time you were wearing a satin short set, with your hair braided and you crawled into bed next to him.

Both of you turned to face each other, your hand finding its way to his chest even in the darkness, trailing soft patterns with your nails and the next thing he knew, your hair was lightly tickling him as you rested your head on his chest. His heartbeat already lulling you to sleep and you knew that you’d probably never get another good nights rest without him beside you. Your blood pounded in your ears as you began to panic at how fast and how hard you realized you actually were falling for Jake. And as quickly as the panic came, it faded with each light stroke of Jake’s fingertips on your back. “You’re in control Darlin’. We can talk about it if you want to.” You shook your head lightly and whispered quietly, not wanting to break the stillness “not now, we can talk about it later.” You felt him give you a small squeeze and then continue tracing his fingertips up and down your back. That was how, combined with the steady beat of his heart, you fell into one of the best sleeps you’ve ever had.

—

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[justanotherhh]

What characters from helluva boss would the hazbin characters get on best with. I've seen fizz suggested for Angel and Millie for Alastor, but I've seen surprisingly little discussion of it.

Ooh yeah, funnily enough I don't know if I think that Millie would get on with Alastor that much -- I think his old-school Southern Charm might tickle her, but also lowkey she'd think he was.... kinda creepy (which, he is). Alastor would be charmed by her for sure! Her go-gettem take-no-shit attitude, her effortless sweetness, yeah. I think while I say "not get on" I don't mean necessarily in a bad way, just... cautious. Alastor has an ever-growing girl-gang around him, I could see Millie as part of it, but not like. the super friendliest

Fizz and Angel is such a no-brainer, seen a bunch of art and read some fic, these two have so much in common (showbiz! performance! abusive bosses! sex appeal! etcetc) I can't imagine them not getting on, and there's a bunch of scenarios where I think Fizz would want to help Angel out of a bad situation. yeah. there's not much more for me to say on this one that hasn't already been said

I think Cherri (who we don't know too much about in terms of various dynamics at the hotel yet, but I want her and Al to get on so badly....) and Millie would get on like a house on fire. and... set houses on fire. I also think Loona would be in awe of Cherri's whole Everything and Cherri would be kind of touched by the whole idea of "oh I'm a motherfucking Mentor now!!!!" (and they'd set houses on fire) -- but I think there could be a downside in that Loona has some anxieties around partying and drinking and while Cherri might be very helpful with the first in terms of confidence, I think the latter could go badly. but yeah. Cherri and Millie take out Loona. Millie keeps more of a watchful eye on her -- now I've written all of this, I think Millie would initially be quite taken with Cherri, but Millie is in the end a more caretaking person (not of herself, we've seen her and her sister out and about!) + as far as I can tell not super into drugs, so there could be friction there if Loona was in the mix. But it'd be a friction that ultimately works itself out

Verosika, I think, is another character who could get on with Cherri. Gosh I'm just building a Mean Girls extraordinaire group here. I think because both Cherri and Verosika are very Trash Pop Girlies (and I mean that only as a compliment) they'd have so much fun on the dance floor, they'd do karaoke together, lament shitty exes -- Angel would be there also, I cannot take Cherri out to the town and not include Angel. you know he's emo about Verosika's music + again, the showbiz connection there. Verosika so so drunk and so so earnestly telling Angel she's gotten off to his movies and he's incredibly flattered. Those three have a dream team feel to them. but watch out! (nobody to say when to stop)

Also I've written a bunch about Alastor and Striker getting on. that's my pet headcanon. aroace4aroace, both of them aplatonic and loveless, both of them with such an outsiders view of the world around them that they just... end up hanging out. they're not friends, gross, they're just people who understand the inherent terribleness of existence together over a drink every Tuesday

Charlie's difficult because she's at odds with so much of the jadedness that the characters feel in HB, but... I mean she and Moxxie and musicals is right there! I think it'd have the potential to be a very cute friendship that also provides an outlet for two very very nerdy people who frequently get judged by their peers for being rambly and overly sincere. Charlie would fuckin eat up Les Mis

Also I do like the idea that Asmodeus babysat Charlie when she was younger. nothing much to add here, just think that's Neat

Niffty! D'you know I think Niffty and Millie also? (Millie is also a Creechur) and maybe even moreso, Niffty and Sallie May? I think these sisters would be taken by the oddity that is Niffty and also feel a little protective over her. I think Niffty's habit of crawling on people she likes would be well-accepted by them and they'd encourage her hobbies. they might be a little surprised by her puppet shows, but all three of them enjoy sadomasochism

Stolas... I've seen some Stolas and Angel also, which I think would be interesting. They're both characters who are quite dissociated from their own bodily needs/wants and trying to learn about them (possibly for the first time), they've both experienced some identity-based punishment around being gay men, they've both got Style, albeit differently inspired. I think Angel might be taken by Stolas' overt constant sincerity, while Stolas... I mean firstly Stolas has also watched a couple of Angel's movies ofc, and so starts off being quite starstruck (they maybe both have this, considering Stolas is a prince) and Angel has a sweet side that takes ever less prodding to get out and I think faced with Stolas he'd take down his mask pretty quickly

Vaggie! I mean Vaggie is sooooooo difficult to get under the armour of. I think perhaps Sallie May would want to (hit that) know more about her/be quite intrigued and I think Vaggie would be pretty shy but taken with her forthrightness and once she's more comfortable Sallie May takes her hunting or something suitably violent like that. I choose in this scenario to forgo jealousy tropes, and go with Charlie is just super happy that Vaggie is making friends with similar interests!!! (the exclamation marks are Charlie).

Blitzo. Blitzooooooooooooooo. It depends on where in his journey he is I gueeess, but. Okay but what if Blitzo and Husk though, because they're both done-with-this-shit alcoholics who wouldn't need to talk, but also Blitzo is a drunk-talker and Husk knows how to get people to open up, because he's a bartender and Husk kinda feels for the guy, Blitzo's having the worst time and that sure is saying something considering Husk is literally enslaved by a deal. so Now I'm almost imagining this as one of Husk's good deeds, he talks to Charlie and the hotel takes Blitzo out for a good time

but honestly so many Blitzo dynamics would be fun here -- Blitzo and Charlie (unlikely besties, where Charlie's irrepressible optimism meets Blitzo's unstoppable depression and nihilism and he finds that he genuinely is trying not to swear around her out of politeness and it Unnerves him, but hey, you can't disappoint a kid who does puppy-dog eyes like that + her daddy's the king of hell), Blitzo and Niffty (there's a lil undercurrent of brother-gotta-protect vibes in both these shows and Niffty, for all her competency, is a Lil Creechur and Blitzo wouldn't want her to get hurt), Blitzo and Vaggie (fuck this afterlife), Blitzo and Angel (BLITZO HAS ALSO WATCHED HIS MOVIES, YES EVERYONE HAS WATCHED AND ENJOYED ANGEL'S MOVIES, and Blitzo wants to make a good impression... here comes my One Night Stand Blitzo And Angel Sudden HC. I think they would)

gosh there's still characters I haven't mentioned o-kay, knuckle down!

Sir Pentious and Moxxie -- both like machinery, both nerrrds, both dress similarly, both tinkerers, both prefer weaponry to hands-on fighting, both underestimated a lot, both very polite Gentlemen, both dating total Baddies Cherri and Millie (oh wait, there's an episode in this that ties to Cherri and Millie going out, where while the latter have a whole Arc, SP and Moxxie are just chilling so hard the entire time). Vibesssss

Octavia is another one I can see in a lot of configurations. Octavia and Charlie kind of a good one, princesses hanging out, I think initially there'd be a bit of personality friction, but I think Via could benefit from a Charlie in her life + they both have daddy issues. Via would also get on really really well with Vaggie I think, so if we've got a Cherri+Millie+Loona constellation, then we've got a parallel Charlie+Vaggie+Via one, where Vaggie kinda balances out the two very intensely in different directions energies and the three of them have a much quieter night, ultimately, than the other three (why is this all ending up as one big headcanon where everyone meets up and it's a party and some people go out and others stay in and there's a bunch of character development?)

Fizzie btw could go either way in this scenario. he has a foot in both worlds, but I read him as more of a homebody than a partygoer. he's just a very flamboyant homebody, so I think he'd prefer to do his nails with Charlie and Vaggie and Via than to go dancing/burning shit up with Cherri and Angel and Millie and Verosika and Loona. Stolas, I just realised, also hanging out and doing nails and the like, I think also good bonding time for him and Via + he and Charlie would bond over bursting into song and yearning

dyou think Alastor would be incredibly charming with Verosika also and she'd be a lil flustered by it? I want that too. like he kisses her knuckles and says he admires her work and it's a lil, oh boy oh boy (and then she asks Angel and Cherri what Al's deal is, like is he gay or what because she's been flirting with him all evening and nothing, and they're like *shrug* whatever his deal is, it ain't sex that's for sure and she sighs and says all the good guys are too busy committing atrocities, and Angel and Cherri squint, because her taste in men... clearly missing some Red Flags for her to respond to)

Octavia would be fascinated by Niffty also -- Niffty generally has the energy of that gina linetti meme in b99 where all the psychologists are hunkered around her desperate to study her:

whomst am I missing. Kinda skipping the sins+Lucifer, also the villains (minus Striker), and most of the tertiary characters. I think that's it then? *wipes brow*

feel free to add more thoughts/dynamics!

[hunnyswift]

prologue: i died on the altar

summary: this was supposed to be the most wonderful day of your life; you were marrying the man you wanted to spend forever with. that was until you were standing at the altar , hand in hand with bradley , that he decided to make this day the worst of your life instead.

cw: profanity , accusing bradley of cheating ( he would never! ) , being left at the altar , mentions of canon death of a character , mean!reader , and i think that’s it!

casting: chace crawford as danny , michael b. jordan as harrison , zac efron as casey , jamie chung as cierra , and bianca santos as liv

18+ minors dni

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟

you were standing in your childhood bedroom , looking out the window into the backyard that had been transformed into your dream wedding. there were flowers , friends , and family scattered all around. it couldn’t be more perfect weather , sun shining bright but not so much to where you’d be sweating through your white dress.

the only other person in the room with you was your mother. until you heard a knock on the door , you rush to it , opening it wide and smiling when you saw your best friend. “danny! i thought you were going to be late!” you laughed , yanking the man into a hug, “i’m completely ready and you’re just now getting here?”

danny walked into the room , kissing your mother on the cheek. “connie forgot the rings , so i had to run to mom and dad’s before the ceremony. sorry for taking so long,” he explained , sitting down on the edge of your bed and taking you in. your hair was done , makeup perfected , and the dress “wow , you look sublime , squirt.” you blushed , swishing around the bottom of your dress for effect.

“oh ya know , just getting married. gotta try and look good so he doesn’t run,” you joked , sitting down next to him, “mom , give us a minute?”

your mother smiled sweetly , nodding at the two of you before taking her exit from the room. danny could feel the nerves coming off of you. it was making him nervous , and he wasn’t the one getting hitched. “i think bradley is cheating on me.” you blurted , your hand flying up to cover your mouth. it wasn’t supposed to come out like that.

“what the hell are you talking about?” danny catechized you , eyes going wide as your mouth.

“he’s been acting weird. not normal wedding coming up jitters weird. like standoffish and elusive and secretive. and i think he’s cheating,” you rambled on , breathing coming quicker than before, “and even case and harrison have been off. i just feel like there’s this big secret i’m not in on , and it’s that bradley’s cheating.”

danny grabbed your hand and looked you in the eyes. “trust me , bradley isn’t cheating on you. there’s no way. he’s probably just got a surprise for you as a wedding gift or something,” he’d explained , trying his best to calm your nerves, “look , it’s five til , he’s on his way downstairs any minute , and you’re going to walk down the aisle to him and get married , y/n. this is just nerves.”

you take a deep breath with danny , closing your eyes and breathing out slowly. “you’re right,” you decided. bradley wasn’t cheating on you. you were nervous and coming up with disasters in your head to fuel the fire in your stomach. “okay , okay. go! i’m gonna wait for my dad to walk me and then get married.”

“atta girl!” danny cheered , hopping up from the bed and kissing your temple before rushing out the room and down to his position.

as the door clicked behind your man of honor , you stood in the mirror , checking over everything. your hair was done , your makeup was set , your dress was perfect , and most importantly , your fiancé was downstairs waiting to marry you. your eyes flicker to the ceiling for a moment , “thank you , carole and nick. we love you,” you whispered , holding onto the necklace bradley’s mother left for you.

they’d be so happy to know you and bradley did in fact end up together.

a knock at the door pulled you from your moment of silence. “princess? time to get hitched,” your dad smile came from behind the door , peeking his head around the corner.

just like bradley’s mother , your father was just as adamant about you two getting together. he helped raised bradley , knew he was a good man. he let him into the family with no problems , always hoping you’d fall for bradley like he had. ron loved bradley like his own. it almost seemed like he was more excited for the marriage than you two were.

“i’m ready , daddy,” you beamed , leaving the room with your arm in his, “brad waiting for me down there right?” you laughed lightly.

your father let out a hearty chuckle with you , helping you down the stairs. “i might just have to kill him if he wasn’t.”

he was.

as the song started playing , you and your dad made your way to the bunches of flowers set up behind your groom. there he was , standing with his hands behind his back , tears in his eyes , and the biggest smile on his face.

you finally reached him , your smile matching his , practically blinding your friends as family as they watched the two of you almost kiss out of instinct.

“you look perfect,” you whispered , tears coming to your eyes, “everything is perfect.”

“you’re perfect,” bradley sighed , holding your hands in his. god , he hated himself right now. you were perfect , the exact person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with , but he knew in that moment it wouldn’t be long enough. convinced he was destined to have the same fate as his father , bradley couldn’t leave you alone that way.

there was a moment of silence as you both took each other in and everyone settled in their seats. “can we —“ bradley cleared his throat , his words coming out far weaker than he expected, “can we talk really quick? in private?” he asked , eyes pleading and watery.

“honey , we’ll have plenty of time for that after we get married. time and place,” you giggled , thinking he wanted to take a few moments for a quickie upstairs. while that was true , you looked beautiful and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander and think about how amazing the night could end.

“no , we need to talk first,” he reassured you , hands squeezing yours far too tight.

your eyes darted around , looking at casey and harrison behind your groom before meeting bradley’s gaze again. “okay?” you mumble a quick sorry to the pastor and start to walk back down the aisle with bradley , whispering you’ll be right back to your guests.

once you get into the house , bradley lets out a deep breath , like he’d been holding it in all morning. “are you okay? what’s going on?” his back was to you , hands planted on the kitchen island as he focused on his breathing. “bradley thomas , what is going on?”

he finally turned to look at you , the tears running down his face far different than a few minutes ago. these ones were filled with regret , a deep seeded sadness that you’d only seen once or twice before. “i can’t marry you.”

you didn’t hear anything after that.

you were right. you told danny you had a gut feeling. you knew something would go wrong. you knew it. after years of being together , today was supposed to be a dream and with just four words it’s your worst nightmare.

“what?” you choked out , tears filling your eyes once again, “what do you mean?”

“i can’t — i can’t marry you,” he repeated , looking down at his feet. how could he possibly say all of this and not look at you?

“look at me and say it again,” you demanded , chest rising and falling quicker with your uneven breaths. it took a moment , but his brown eyes met yours and he repeated the words , softer this time , but just as clear. “why not?” he turned away from you again. “why the hell not , bradley?” your voice was louder now , anger seeping through your words just as much as the hurt and confusion.

“i don’t want to,” he lied, “i don’t want to get married anymore ; i don’t want to be with you.” if you didn’t kill him , he thought he should maybe do the job for you.

“so…” your turn to take a deep breath, “after eleven years together , you’ve decided in what? the last twenty-four hours you’re over it? you’re just willing to throw everything away for what?” you were trying to figure it out , but bradley wasn’t giving you anything. he stood silent , eyes fallen on the floor once again , where he stared at your heels that carole wore on her wedding day.

“i’ve gotta focus on my career right now , honey,” bradley groaned at the lie, “getting married just isn’t what i need to do.”

“oh , my god! are you kidding?” you laughed , hands resting on your hips as you look to the sky in disbelief, “are you hearing this?”

“i’m sor—“

“shut the hell up,” you barked , finger pointing at bradley like a gun, “your — wow , your parents would hate to see you right now,” you scoffed , shaking your head violently.

“excuse me?” both of your tears had dried , exasperation and hurt flowing between you two in words now.

“you want me to repeat it? your parents would be disappointed , bradley. i mean , can you imagine having to go home and tell that what you’re doing to me right now?” it was mean , cruel even. you knew that , but you couldn’t stop the words from coming out.

“okay,” bradley hummed , taking a few steps away from you.

the silence was killing you , and him. a knock on the back door pulled the two of you out of whatever was going on. “hey,” casey peeked his head in the house, “slider’s asking what’s taking so long?”

“shut up and go back outside before i kill you , casey,” you growl , head turning to him quickly. yes , your anger was slightly displaced , but it’s not like he had no idea what was happening. the red eyes bradley adorned were clear , and your makeup was mussed up from your own tears.

casey’s eyes glanced between his best friends , turning to look outside at the waiting crowd. “i know , but people are getting impatient?”

“tell them she’ll be out in a second,” bradley spoke up , voice uneven as ever. your friend nodded , closing the door quietly behind him. you both watched as he went up front and explained to the guests you two were taking a moment to yourselves. “i think that’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to me,” he stated , going back to your conversation before the interruption.

“you saying you can’t marry me is the worst thing you’ve said to me,” you replied, “guess we’re both hitting lows today.”

“guess so.” it almost came out as a laugh. truly , the situation wasn’t funny , not to bradley and not to you. “i’m gonna get my stuff,” he announced , pointing over his shoulder to the guest room he was set up in for the day.

your face was still hot , breathing shallow. “bradley?” a whisper left your lips , getting him to stop and look back to you again. he took a step toward you again , scanning your face for any idea of what you might say to him now. “if you do this , there is no fixing us. you leave and we are over.”

“baby , we’re arguing in the kitchen we grew up in on our wedding day with all of our friends and family watching from the windows,” he sighed, “we’re already over.”

your eyes wandered to the backyard seeing that bradley was right. everyone was looking , trying to decipher what was happening to the happy couple. thankfully , your yelling wasn’t heard , but the tears were seen.

bradley began his way up the stairs to pack up , but you follow closely behind. “tell me about the moment you knew you wanted to marry me,” you requested , wringing your hands together as you stood behind him packing his bag.

“y/n , please don’t make this harder than it already is. please,” bradley begged , pausing only for a moment before resuming his getaway.

“please , bradley? one last time?” you hoped he would tell you the story.

it was one of those weekends that danny had managed to come out to your college campus. it was a surprise ; he just showed up to the house you all lived in with a bag packed and ready to party. you , bradley , danny , harrison , his girlfriend cierraa , casey , and casey’s new girlfriend liv were all pregaming at the house before heading to the bars.

“you know , i don’t think i’ve ever seen squirt say yes to a free beer and not bring it to you,” harrison laughed , watching you making your way through the crowd back to the boys with liv and cierra behind you. you all had beers in your hands , all of them meant for your boys. you carried two and laughed harder than the other girls.

“i’m gonna marry that girl,” bradley smiled , eyeing the way you moved around everyone else on your way back to him like always.

“it was as simple as that,” bradley shrugged , sitting on the bed now, “i mean , i always knew , but that moment in time i knew.” your eyes were flooded with tears once again as you stood in front of bradley.

“so what’s changed?” you asked , lowering to your knees as you tried to find bradley’s eyes again, “why don’t you know anymore?”

“all i know is that i can’t marry you , squirt,” he answered with another shrug, “oh , i want to. i really do , but honey , i can’t.”

his hands found your face , swiping at the tears that were running through your makeup as you sniffled. “why? i just don’t understand why,” you cried , holding onto his wrists tightly.

“i can’t,” bradley simply said. he couldn’t marry you , and he couldn’t tell you why , and he couldn’t bear to watch you cry any longer. “go , baby. they’re all waiting for you,” he tried to smile , nodding his head in the general direction of the wedding to not be.

“i don’t want to without you,” you sighed , getting more comfortable on your knees. you didn’t plan on leaving this room unless it was hand in hand with your fiancé. “i love you , bradley.”

“oh , god. i love you too,” he replied softly , pressing a kiss on your lips so soft you don’t think your brain even recognized it until it was over. you chased him , leaning in for another which he gladly gave you. “i love you enough to let you go , so go. please.”

your eyes stayed closed , but you felt bradley shifting and standing up to continuing grabbing his things. it took you a minute to stand. you dusted your dress off and turned around not saying another word as you left the room and headed back outside.

at that point , everyone was mingling again as they waited for the wedding to go on. the second you opened the back doors , all eyes were on you. one look at your face and everyone’s gaze turned empathetic rather excited.

“everyone—“ your voice cracked, “you can all go home. the wedding’s off,” you announced. the only person you could bring yourself to look at was your father. in a flash , slider was rushing past you and running on the stairs to find bradley— to kill bradley.

danny , cierra , and liv all came to your side , pulling you around the front away from the prying eyes of your guests. “c’mon , babe,” cierra whispered , wrapping you in her arms.

you could hear the yelling from upstairs all the way outside. it was your dad. bradley was silent. “where do you want to go?” liv asked , looking around the small group just as casey and harrison found you all.

“what happened? what’s going on?” harrison questioned ; he had no clue. casey was quiet. danny was on the phone , texting your mom small updates as your friends all talked.

“bradley left me,” you deadpan , your face now void of emotions just like your voice, “we’re done. it’s all over.”

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟

yallllll it’s finally out. it’s a long one , but i wanted to fit it all in for chapter one. lmk what you think<3

[kpopmultistanfanficarchive]

PART 1/2

WORD COUNT: 2.3K

RATING: Teen and Up

A/N: Listen...ever since that GoSe episode, I have been having Seventeen zombie apocalypse AU brain rot. I can't help myself.

Synopsis: A world in chaos. Walkers closing in from every side. You're alone, hardened by weeks of survival in the forest, until two city boys—Mingyu and Wonwoo—stumble into your life, clumsy, scared, and woefully unprepared.

You waited with baited breath to see if you’d been followed. Although you were fairly confident you hadn’t been, the smaller ones were sometimes difficult to hear approaching until they were dangerously close. Cautiously, you hid yourself behind a tree, your knife at the ready.

Your breath hitched as rustling neared you through the trees. You smeared mud across your body to dampen your scent, and readied your knife, prepared for the worst, but hoping that the small hoard that you’d seen in this corner of the woods from time to time would simply stumble past as it normally did. In hoards of two to three like the one you’d grown accustomed to seeing, they were generally less of a threat, as long as you stayed quiet and out of the way.

The rustling turned to pounding footsteps. You hoisted yourself several branches up the nearest tree to get a better view or what lay ahead in the forest.

Luckily, it wasn’t the walkers.

Unluckily, it appeared to be a clumsy set of boys, one weighing heavily on the other as they fought through the brush, the taller one at the lead, looking frantically over his shoulder while gripping tightly to the other, who followed only a half step behind, seemingly being led.

They were clearly running from something. Which led you to believe that your less-than-friendly neighborhood walkers were also in the vicinity.

Against your better judgment you jumped out from your hiding place, causing the taller of the two to jump and scream. The other stumbled, his grip on the taller faltering as he staggered forward, clutching tightly to the baseball bat that he had over his shoulder.

“G-get back,” the taller shouted, dragging the other boy behind himself as he leveled a knife at you. Even with his weapon at the ready, there was a fear in his eyes that told you he wasn’t prepared to act, “w-we don’t want any trouble. We’re just passing through.”

Taking your chancea, you reached past the weapon in the taller boy’s hand and grab his wrist. “Shut up and follow me,” you grumble, leading both of them in a clumsy chain to your hideout - a small indent right on the waters’ edge that served as a decent enough shelter for the time being.

You came to a stop at your makeshift camp, dropping your pack and turning to face the two panting boys. “Drop your weapons,” you instructed in a hushed tone, pulling your own knife from its place at your side and looking between the two of them. “Now. quickly.”

“But-i-we-”

“I’m not going to have either of you stabbing me in the back now that you know where my stash is. Drop your weapons or I'm about to get a whole lot less pleasant.”

“This is pleasant?” the taller remarked, causing the smaller to shove an elbow into his side.

“Shut up, Mingyu,” the shorter of the two snapped under his breath, tripping over your fire pit only a second later.

Mingyu. You stored that away for later.

“Are either of you bitten?”

“N-no,” the shorter of the two said, rolling up the sleeves of his jacket to prove himself. The arms and hands were the most frequently bitten areas - held up in defense in a last-ditch effort to save oneself. Seeing that they were clean of any wounds brought you relief.

Mingyu mimicked his friend’s actions before rolling his sleeves back down to protect from the brisk autumn chill.

“I can tell you’re from the city,” you said, putting a hand on your hip. “Your strong hold in the city became overrun or you ran out of food, and you decided to run for the hills. You haven’t been out here that long or you would know better than to go stomping around the forest the way that you were. The walkers can’t see, but they can smell and hear for miles. You didn’t know that. I’m betting there’s plenty of other things you don’t know. So, if you want to stay alive your best bet is to stay with me. But if you don’t want to, that’s fine. Just stay quiet as you’re making your way off of my turf. You may want to roll around in the mud on the bank before you go. Covers up the human smell.”

The two exchanged a look before they both relinquished their weapons, dropping them in a pile at your feet. “Thank you,” you said, collecting them and stuffing them into your pack for safe keeping, “do you have any supplies? Food?” you asked, pulling out your empty bottles and turning to the creek to begin replenishing your water stores.

“We, um,” Mingyu let his own backpack fall from his shoulders before pulling out a single water bottle and joining you at the waterfront, “we left in a hurry. Didn’t have time to grab much, so…we’re running pretty low.”

You looked between the two boys. Ideally, it would be better for you in the long run to be alone. Quiet was better when avoiding the walkers, and these two clowns seemed to be anything but. They seemed utterly helpless. They weren’t hardened from weeks on the run like you were. Still, though, you reasoned with yourself…they were at least big. You were confident that they wouldn’t be much help against the walkers, but at the very least having two big men in your vicinity may be enough to ward off any marauders in search of supplies. At least that was something.

“Well…for as long as our interests are aligned…you’ve got my help if you want it,” you said, offering a hand for Mingyu to shake which he gratefully reciprocated. “I’m going to catch us something to eat. Do you know how to build a fire?”

“I’m sure i can work something out,” he said with a weak smile, slapping his knees as he pushed himself back to standing, setting to work finding firewood.

To your surprise, Mingyu did end up being entirely serviceable in building the fire. And after you’d caught several fish, he’d insisted on cleaning and cooking them himself, using your tin can cooking setup to heat up some rice along with the fish and doling it out to the three of you in even portions.

You ate in silence, huddled around the remnants of the fire as the water babbled just feet away. You had yet to hear a single word from the smaller of the two men since your chance encounter, and he seemed far more hesitant toward the entire situation than Mingyu did. 

“What’s his deal?” you asked, waving your tin of rice in the boy’s direction where he ate quietly by the waterfront.

“That’s Wonwoo, he’s just a quiet guy. There’s no deal,"Mingyu said simply. “He lost his glasses while we were escaping the city. He can barely see a foot in front of his face. It’s been…unsettling for him.”

You hummed noncommittally. “How long have the two of you been out here?” you asked, shivering as the sun sank below the skyline, leaving you with nothing but the dim glow of the fire to light the small area surrounding your camp. “Can’t have been out here too long if you’re both still alive. No offense.”

“None taken. We’re hopeless,"Mingyu agreed with a sad little smile, “our apartment was right in the middle of the city, so when the breakout first happened, we thought it would be safest to hunker down and wait it out inside. We figured the military would arrive eventually to evacuate the city, but…they never did. We barricaded ourselves in our living room - it’s what the health administration was telling everyone to do on day one - and then…we just waited. We only left a couple of days ago when we finally ran out of water. By the time we decided it was time to leave…the city was just crawling with walkers. I didn’t think we were going to make it to the lobby of our building much less out of town. We thought that was it when we encountered a hoard of them this deep in the woods. We’re lucky we ran into you when we did.”

You pursed your lips, unable to put words together to express how their story made you feel. You’d never had the chance or the option to hunker down at home like they had. When the outbreak began, you’d been at work, on the edge of the city. As soon as you saw things going to shit, you grabbed whatever you could carry on your person and ran, hid until the initial surge had passed, and then broke into a convenience store to stock up on supplies before heading for the mountains on foot. You’d survived since then scavenging abandoned encampments, staying close to the water, and remaining out of sight. It’d served you well up to this point.

“It gets really cold out here at night. We’re going to have to find the two of you something heavier to wear. It’s only fall; the denim isn’t going to cut it in the winter.”

“Well hopefully by the winter we’ll have all made it to Tongyeong, yeah?” Mingyu mumbled with a hopeful glint in his eye. “That’s where we’re headed. I…assumed you were headed that way, too.”

“To Tongyeong? That’s…a really long way on foot, Mingyu. Why - what’s there?” you asked, suddenly intrigued.

The look of shock on his face took you by surprise. “There’s…a colony of survivors out on the sea. We heard about it on another camp’s radio our first night in the forest. The walkers can’t cross through deep water like that, so…they took out fishing boats and yachts and…you didn’t know?”

“I…had no idea,” you remarked, your gut clenching at the thought of there perhaps being some semblance of hope on the horizon. You hadn’t let yourself feel anything close to hope in weeks. Your only goal had been to survive until you couldn’t.

“Then what was your plan?” Wonwoo asked from his perch by the water, clearly having been listening in on your conversation from afar.

“Didn’t have one,” you conceded, “I was just trying not to die.”

A heavy silence filled the valley then.

“Well, I guess it’s lucky that you ran into us then,” Mingyu finally piped up, clearly unwilling to sit with the silence any longer.

“I guess we’re all just as lucky as three suckers can be during the end of the world,” you said. “Tomorrow, you’re going to continue heading south?”

“That was the plan.”

“And you’re okay with me coming with the two of you?”

“We’d very much prefer it,” Mingyu scoffed, “you’ve been out here longer. I don’t think there’s a scenario where we’ll make it without you.”

“So…I guess we’re a team, then.”

“I guess we are,” Mingyu said, a look crossing his face that you found difficult to read.

“That’s his I’ve got the hots for a girl look; be careful,” Wonwoo called with a tinge of amusement in his voice.

“You can’t even see me, asshole,” Mingyu barked.

“Yeah but I can hear it from here,” he snarked back, “just do me a favor and don’t make any moves until we’re safe. There will be no forest breakups making things awkward.”

Turning to you with undoubtedly flushed cheeks, Mingyu murmured, “Do you think I could kick his ass quietly enough to not draw attention?”

“No,” you snorted into your tin, “but once we get to the coast, you’ll be home free.”

“I think that’s the encouragement I needed to keep pushing on, believe it or not,” Mingyu chuckled, shaking his head and sobering quickly.

“Well…we should get some sleep. If we’re going, I want to be out of here at daybreak so that we can cover as much ground as possible tomorrow.”

“Do you want to go in shifts? I can go first if you want to get some shut eye," Mingyu offered.

The idea struck you.

You hadn’t been able to sleep more than an hour straight since the beginning of the outbreak. Alone in the forest, facing both the living dead and marauders in search of supplies and food, you had to be on high alert at every second. 

And now you have the option to get a decent night’s sleep.

You weren’t entirely sure you’d be able to sleep a solid night, no matter how much you needed it.

“Why don’t you two go first? I want to catch more fish for us to take. We don’t know when the next time we’ll find a food source will be and we’re days away from Tongyeong if we make quick work of it.”

“Okay,” Mingyu nodded, exhaustion visibly taking him over. He didn’t argue. “I’ll turn in then. Wonwoo?”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” he agreed with an exhausted yawn, making his way into the small excuse for a cave that you’d been using as your temporary home.

“There’s an emergency blanket in my pack if you two want it,” you said, heading toward the waters’ edge with your fishing line in hand.

Things quieted again as the two roommates got settled and you looked out over the water again. Finally, you felt a swell in your gut, something that you hadn’t in nearly a month.

You had a glimmer of hope.

[newkatzkafe2023]

Ok after reading that

Now I want a meet up with their team/friends XD

HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO SEEING BOTH QUEEN OF THE MONSTERS AND QUEEN OF THE APES ARE WUKONG'S WIVES??????

WHAT IS THE MONKEY KING DOING ON HIS FREE TIME?!?!?!??!🤣😧🤯

(Lmk Wukong) The panic the public feels is so bad it reached two other realms😥🫣. Everyone was either Filming or getting ready to evaluate Megaspolis as both Goddesszilla and Queen kong show up in the city today. Tang saw from outside pigsy's restaurant and his soul totally left his body at this and everyone ran outside to see the Chaos. Mk, Mei, and Redson were stuck between being Scared and being amazed upon seeing you and Queen Kong.

(Wukong) HEY GUYS I WANTED YOU TO MEET GODDESSZILLA AND QUEEN KONG MY 2 WIVES!!!!!🥰🥰

Mk and Mei were loosing it all over the place with stars in their eyes🤩

Redson was literally praying, I kid you, not he was praying as he hid in the men's bathroom. He called his parents, saying his potentially final good byes and that he always loved them😱

Sandy waved and welcomed you both, as he was very happy to meet you both.

Pigsy had to calm down a screaming Tang as the Scholar totally loses his mind😨

Elsewhere the Spider queen was discussing with her family/minions about moving out of the city Feeling like they were the ones in danger now😱

DBK and PIF share a look of shock as they listen Redson's semi-tearful rambling as the can see Goddesszilla and Queen kong from out their window

The Brotherhood absolutely moved out of the city as they don't want any of the ancient radiation heat from both of you😬

The Mayor's Whole body was so pale that People mistaken him as a ghost😱 and wants to join lady bone demon in her gravesite😨🥶

Jin and Yin were fanboying all over the place, throwing themselves as party as they asked you both for autographs🤩

A fearful Nezha spread the word to all of heaven, well it wasn't news, It was a clearly very much a warning, a warning that flipped the heavens on their heads for a good few centuries to come😬😬😬

And finally,Macaque😰 is really missing being dead right about now, as he feels you and your sisters glare on him😠

(MKR Wukong) The monk had a really bad stroke upon seeing you and your sister queen kong😂🤣. He and Pigsy noticed that he was in a better mood lately, and more Reasonable to deal with and immediately something was up. Sandy was just happy the death threats Wukong would give him occasionally stopped. Then one morning the pilgrims were asleep until the ground shook like their was an earthquake. This made pigsy Shat and piss his pants as he paled and scream like a girl upon what he saw, it was you and Queen kong, and Sandy straight up pale like seriously he was ash at that point. Then Finally the monk who had a heart attack and Stroke at the same time, as the saw you and Queen kong. Finally, Wukong showed up and excitedly introduced you both as his 2 beautiful wives. That's right. He absolutely got married behind the monk and heavens back, and if they know what's good for them, they better not do anything😈.

(NR Wukong) Li felt a serious mingrain form upon meeting Wukong's 2 wives, aka you and your sister Queen kong. Meanwhile, everybody was willing out and had so many questions for both of you, Li and Su's friend group. Welcome you both with open arms. Queen Kong was so happy to make new friends as she talked to everyone about practically everything, and shared stories about when you both were younger. You, of course didn't join the conversations, but that doesn't mean you weren't listening as you were just laying next to Wukong, but you were very happy that your sister had come out of her shell and made friends.

Meanwhile, the Ao Bing and his father went into hiding, because well.....between you and me, it turns the dragon king of the east actually owes you money And You're somehow scarier than a regular lone shark, and Queen kong has beef with Ao bing because the little Bastard set fire to part of her home and she's still mad about it this day. So they both better stay out of our line of sight😈👿

(HIB Wukong) He's kinda embarrassed, but not in a bad way. It's more like he's huffing while getting scolded by Queen Kong about not making you both aware that he was a single father. You both loved Silly Girl and Luier in an instant. Like Wukong, you would sometimes get annoyed with Luier's motor mouth and never ending questions, but your both saved by Queen king's godly Patience with him And answered every question to the best of her ability. Meanwhile, you took a liking to Silly Girl because she seems like a fighter to you, and with a bit of self defense Training She could be a force to be Reckon with, plus you always wanted a daughter🥰. Pigsy knew better to try both of you, as you could both totally Crush him under your thumb. But overall Luier and Silly girl love you both and already accepted you both as mother figures.

(Netflix Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear here we go. So you should know by now how annoying heaven found Wukong to be, but you should also know about how hard they shat and pissed themselves and went into a PTSD level state of panic when they found out about you both. Now they did hear the rumor that the monkey That was pestering them getting hitched, Which is probably why he wasn't bothering them for a while, but they had Absolutely no idea That he got married to not one but two wives, AND IT'S BOTH THE QUEEN OF THE MONSTERS AND THE QUEEN OF THE GORILLAS!!!!!!!! this has to be a dream. A incredibly traumatizing dream And if you think the heavens were suffering with this information you can imagine how the dragon king felt about this😬. HE messed with the husband of the Queens and lived to tell other people about it, He felt like this was the end he felt like this His final moments As he writes as will, Preparing To take his medicine and punishment.

Meanwhile You and Queen kong fawned over Lin like the daughter Neither view ever had. Spoiling her with food, treasures, and clothes as you both learned from Wukong that she was alone for most of her life. Well That's clearly about to change as you both welcome and adopted her as your daughter🥰🥰🥰

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[roundandroundandroundandroundan]

I got bored waiting for my laundry to laundry, so I started rolling an incorrect quotes generator with various dominion smp characters.

(AS PER USUAL TO THOSE OF YOU WHO I KNOW ARE ON THIS WEBBED SITE I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ANY HORRID MANGLING OF CHARACTERS)

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Sneve, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Legundo. Legundo: How did you do that without turning around? Sneve: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

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Sneve: I can explain. Legundo: Can you? Sneve: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

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Viking: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Legundo: Oh, I’m always running Legundo: The question is from what

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Legundo: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Sneve: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

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Legundo: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Viking: Go the heck to sleep Legundo: What gif I don't want to? Viking: No.

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Legundo: Where are you going? Viking: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

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Legundo: Violence isn't the answer. Viking: You’re right. Legundo: *sighs in relief* Viking: Violence is the question. Legundo: What? Viking, bolting away: And the answer is yes. Legundo, running after them: NO-

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Sneve: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

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Sneve: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

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Viking: Goodnight moon. Viking: Goodnight tree. Viking: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

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Sneve: I think we're missing something. Legundo: Teamwork? Shadow: Cohesion? Joy: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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Sneve: Is stabbing someone immoral? Legundo: Not if they consent to it. Shadow: Depends who you’re stabbing. Joy: YES?!?

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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Sneve: Sh*t. Joy: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Shadow: OH MY GOD LEGUNDO FELL OFF!!!

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Legundo: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Sneve: Put spaghetti in it. Legundo: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Shadow: Put spaghetti in it. Legundo: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Joy: Put spaghetti in it. Legundo: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

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Legundo: How did none of you hear what I just said? Joy: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Shadow: I got distracted about halfway through. Sneve: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Sneve: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Legundo: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Shadow? Shadow: Probably “road work ahead”. Joy: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

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Sneve, setting down a card: Ace of spades Legundo, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Joy, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Shadow, trembling: What are we playing

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Sneve: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Legundo: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Sneve: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Shadow: Actually I did the math, Legundo would have $225, not $0.15. Legundo: Fam I’m right here.... Joy: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Sneve: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Joy: Sorry I only have a dollar Sneve: :( Shadow: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Legundo would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Joy: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Shadow: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Taneesha: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice Shadow: Apply juice to what Viking: Directly to the forehead Legundo: Great chat everyone

-

*The squad right before Legundo's wedding* Sneve: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Shadow: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Viking: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Taneesha: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Joy, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

-

Legundo: I CAN'T DO IT! Sneve, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Legundo: I CANT DO IT ANYMORE Shadow: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Legundo: Legundo: I appreciate it, Legundo: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Joy: Legundo- Legundo: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Taneesha: Legundo we gotta- Legundo: YOU GOTTA DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Legundo: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Legundo, motioning to Viking: NOT THIS

-

Sneve: Rules are made to be broken. Legundo: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Shadow: Uh, piñatas. Joy: Glow sticks. Taneesha: Karate boards. Viking: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Sneve: Rules. Legundo:

-

Sneve: Dumbest scar stories, go! Legundo: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Shadow: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Joy: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Taneesha: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Viking: Viking: I have emotional scars.

-

Legundo, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Viking: Hey. Shadow: Hi. Joy: Hello. Taneesha: Hey! Legundo: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Sneve: We were out of Doritos.

-

Sneve: Time for plan G. Taneesha: Don’t you mean plan B? Sneve: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Shadow: What about plan D? Sneve: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Joy: What about plan E? Sneve: I’m hoping not to use it. Legundo dies in plan E. Viking: I like plan E.

-

Sneve: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Legundo: Have everyone stand. Shadow: Bring three more chairs! Joy: The most important ones can sit down. Viking: Kill three.

[live-laugh-legolas]

Hiii first off I just wanna say I love your writing and i’ve binge-read all your work thank you for keeping me fed 😩😩 <3

I was wondering if you could I could request some cheeky Boromir content? Just headcanons on his habits and his nature, like the little quirks about him. Also potentially how they tie in to an ‘x reader’ style, whatever suits you the best!

Thank you so much!! :))

Thank you! I’m glad to provide some sustenance. I’d die for this man

Boromir headcanons

-I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll restate it here; he is surprisingly socially awkward

-He’s a confident guy don’t get that wrong, especially when discussing strategy, diplomatics, etc

-But casual small talk makes him squirm a bit

-He gives the best hugs and you can’t change my mind

-He runs hot so he is like a heater; cats love him for this reason

-But he is also allergic to said cats but he won’t move them if they sit on him

-I can’t remember who but I saw someone else say that he is dyslexic and I’m fully in board with that

-He is great with kids but horrible with babies

-He talks about his brother constantly; he just loves him so much and is so proud of him

-Decent at drawing but doesn’t do it much

-Maybe only to illustrate a letter to Faramir

-A total lightweight and overly outgoing and friendly when drunk

-He’s kinda a picky eater; he always has been

-He will try other things and will eat what is served if he’s isn’t home but in general he much prefers simple dishes he grew up with

-I think he would be more interested in being an uncle than a father

-Not that he doesn’t want kids; but he would be so excited to find out he was going to be an uncle

-He cannot sit still; his leg always bounces

-He also can’t work sitting down; like if he’s going to write a letter he will be standing even if that means he is awkwardly leaning down to the desk

-Very big on comfort and self-care; he has a silk robe and will lounge in the bath with a glass of wine

-In modern day he would wear Hawaiian shirts

-And shorts in the winter

-He cannot sing; doesn’t stop him though

-He is a passionate and loyal ally to LBGTQ+

-He’s a very good swimmer

-Absolutely loves taking his friends to a secret pond to swim in

-He has no problem with nudity either; so yes they are skinny dipping

-He is very skeptical of magic; like he knows it’s real but he doesn’t really trust it

-He cannot roast marshmallows nicely; he always sets them on fire

-But he likes them completely blackened

-He is very dramatic when he gets sick but will walk off any injury (well almost every injury…)

-He really likes donkeys

-He will always genuinely laugh at dad jokes

-He can braid hair but not his own hair

[any-will-wood-lyric]

Eughj

[tempestmothstorm]

Ok since Monika still has her admin powers in the side stories you think she could just discover them accidentally or use them without realizing

Anyways au where Monika and friends discover her admin powers but dont know about the wider context of what it means. So they just go around thinking Monika has magic and try practicing with a bunch of silly fun shenanigans because they figure it’s some chosen one bloodline stuff and not like. A product of their reality being a constricted digital science experiment.

This au will not end well

[imminent-danger-came]

I'll never get over the fact that MK trades his friends for power to save his friends. What's wrong with him

[redemptiionss]

I genuinely think that Felix is the only one with some backbone when it comes to Dimitri but it’s also sad that he just doesn’t know how to help him. All he can do is to insult him and call him a boar and other stuff BUT I guess at least he’s the only one who acknowledges that he is literally Not Well right now

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Dorian Pavus

[magentagalaxies]

vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend and first off these are for you (🍸🫂) X 1000. Second just wow, I clearly underestimated the depth of KR's pettiness and apparent loathing for the fanbase. I'm not one to say you have to or should cater to the fans wishes, but some things really do seem to be done out of spite since they are clearly not done because its good or even sensible storytelling. Third, it truly takes some kind of "talent" to so completely ruin the messages and storytelling of an entire show so completely in one season (and no, I am not just referring to Buddie, pretty much every character suffered from the great S6 KR retcon), it takes even more to say to yourself "yeah, this is the way it should end". I can say with some assurance that if KR is still around for S7, I won't be.

And no I'm not forgetting Tim in all this, he calls the final shots and distracted or not he still signed off on the undoing of his own storytelling. At this point I think he has a 3 season limit to his abilities, and after that get ready to be disappointed.

All the hugs, wine, and eventual hot chocolate for you bestie. I may be caught up in episodes, but I haven't spent the same amount of time and hope you and many others did on this show, to feel all that promise and watch it slowly start to fade (it was already on its way down by the time I got involved). I truly don't have words for this.

"great S6 KR retcon" please! 🤣🤣🤣 I am literally like...speechless. I was prepared for maybe some Marisol mention but not *that* and I was prepared for the couch to be about Buck making a choice for himself, but Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ even MY pessimistic ass didn't see THAT coming. I am just....WTF was that?! Legitimately, we got Bathena FINALLY getting the honeymoon, we got Henren getting a baby girl, we got Madney planning their wedding, and then Buck and Eddie got shoehorned in with random women just to make sure if the show was going off the air that everyone knew that KR would rather flush seasons of storytelling and character arcs out the window rather than allow anyone to interpret the finale as anything other than Buck and Eddie being straight and ending the show paired up with LITERALLY ANY WOMAN so long as people couldn't draw Buddie conclusions?! Even Buddie aside they knew all season this was coming but they couldn't risk fandom tuning out and not hyping up the show so they would rather tell a poorly done half-assed story rather than show their hand early that they have only ever been using fandom to hype the show up. (Also, was Ravi even in the end montage?! KR taking a parting shot in what would be the series finale to erase him again.)

ANYWAY.

I would like to send YOU a thousand drinks and hugs and a MILLION apologies for dragging you into this show only to watch it go down in flames. From the bottom of my heart, my bad. And I will not hold it against you for dipping out for season 7, and thanks for always being my inbox bestie. We'll find things to talk about and if we're all very lucky, ABC will do the right thing and make some changes. If not, it's been a fun ride with you!

Sorry to everyone else in my inbox, I am going to go read some fluffy Buddie fic while trying to block the last 10 minutes of the episode from my brain and then I'm going to sleep. I am...tired.

So one last time tonight and said with my whole entire chest, ABC FIRE KR.