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kasagia · 5 months

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❄️️Warm my heart pt. 7❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: The truth sets you free… sometimes even if you don't want it to. (Belated) Merry Christmas!! There is a one last part left to this story... Word Count: 4,3 k Taglist:@aoi-targaryen @budugu @flostvs1508 @chelseyyouraverageluigi ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova’s Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 6 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 8 ~•♤♤♤•~

"Leave me alone, Fedyor!" you shout at the heartrender, who somehow managed to find you in the crowded city. Christmas was in a few days, and the residents of Os Alta took to the streets to buy the rest of the gifts at the last minute.

Tomorrow, you would have probably been among them too, picking up a gift for the general, if it weren't for the conversation with that old witch who tormented you in your youth when she was your mentor and trainer.

"C'mon, Y/N. We need to go back to the Little Palace."

Fedyor grabs your arm, trying to pull you away from the bar. But you don't let yourself be distracted from your place. Instead, you pour him a glass of alcohol and hand it to him, clinking your glass against his.

"How is it that the guy I like always turns out to be a red flag? Is it because of our keftas? Do we always end up with a man fitting our outfit?"

"Oh, saints... I thought you were a little more sober." he sighs and downs his drink, sitting down next to you. You lean against him, nuzzling into his shoulder as you continue your drunken accusations and complaints.

"I am sober! I am finally sober, Freddy!"

"Fedyor." he corrects you, smiling in amusement at your cute drunken state.

"Whatever." you say and drink a shot. "The point is... that men suck." you speak in a very serious tone, as if revealing a great secret to him.

"Hey!" he says, acting indignant and playfully pushing away from you. This makes you lose your balance a bit, and you grab the wooden bar counter with all your strength.

"Not you! I mean, not gays. Well, Ivan too, since you both argued, but… Ugh! You know what I mean." you lean on his shoulder as he tries to lead you out of the bar without you noticing.

"Yeah, I can imagine." he obediently agrees and puts your cloak on you before leading you out into the streets of Os Alta.

"What I want to say is that I am finally sober from my stupid feelings, crushes, and everything I was feeling since I've started to work with that damn bastard."

"Who the hell made you hate him so much?"

"Myself. And woman. A really wise woman. We should listen to women more!" you shout, hugging him tight as you lose your balance in a rush of emotions.

"Y/N. Let's get home. Before you fall and smash your head on the ground."

"I should've taken Zoya with me. She knows how to have fun. Not like others. And she also hates him! Alina probably too. We can start a club! The club: 'I hate the Darkling." you mumble in your drunken state, holding on to Fedyor for dear life as he leads you to the Little Palace.

He thanks all the saints above for not noticing that you two are passing through the gates of the palace.

"You don't hate him. You are just hurt for some reason. I can't tell why, but I guess you should go and talk with him about anything that happened."

"You have the right!" you agree with him enthusiastically, and he frowns in surprise. From the combative and defiant way you expressed your sudden aversion and hatred for the general in the bar, he expected you to fight him at all costs. "Let's go!" his eyes widen at your words, in realisation that you weren't on a peaceful path to reconciliation at all.

You push away from him and stagger towards the general's chambers.

"No! Y/N! Wait! Not now." he says panicked and runs after you. He grabs you by the collar and pulls you back before you hit the wall.

He sighs, realising that it won't be that easy for him to convince you to go to your own chambers instead of going and arguing with Kirigan.

Aleksander was returning from a meeting with the king, to which Ivan had dragged him. He was angry at this old fool for interfering in the affairs of him and the Little Palace. Or, actually, he was so angry that he had to leave your warm arms and soft lips to deal with this royal asshole for three hours.

All he wanted was to come back to you. He secretly hoped that maybe he would find you completely naked in his bed or in his warm bathtub, waiting for him.

But when he reached his chambers, he didn't find you at all.

"Y/N?" he asks as he comes inside. He walks past the war room and kncoks on the table in case you didn't hear him walking inisde. "Y/N?"

He looks into his library, his dressing room, his bedroom, and even his bathroom (yes, he was a fool who never gave up hope), but you are nowhere to be found.

"Y/N?!" he shouts, returning to the war room. His heartbeat sped up dramatically. You weren't here. You were supposed to wait for him.

Aleksander had to find you. You wouldn't just leave without leaving a note—nothing. On the other hand, he didn't notice any signs of a fight or a skirmish in his chambers. You simply vanished. You disappeared. Like you've never been here. Like all the moments he shared with you, they were only an imagination of his mad mind. For a moment, he felt like he had lost all his common sense.

He put on the kefta again, which he threw off as soon as he arrived. He was adjusting his collar when he stopped, alarmed, hearing a noise in the corridor.

Just in case, he summons his shadows and leaves the chamber with his black shadows dancing around his fingers. He leaned out slightly, scanning the corridor, ready to cut in half whoever dared to take you from him again. He sighs in relief when he sees you on Fedyor's shoulder as you say something to him.

For a moment, he was terrified. That they came for you again, that someone took you from him again, that something happened to you again and he wasn't there in time to save you... or that you wanted to run away from him and leave him like so many others.

Like Luda or Ulla.

"Y/N." he sighs with relief. Your eyes widen as you see him.

He was walking towards you, but he stopped when he saw betrayal, bitterness, and rage shining in your eyes instead of the loving gaze he used to receive.

But that wasn't what worried him most. That was your look—the same look he got from many people in his youth when they found out he was a shadow summoner. Except that your disgusted, angry look hurt him more than any of the people's glances at him, his mother's scoldings and taunts, or the wound from the blades they tried to kill him with.

He sees how you tense up at the sight of him, watching his every little move carefully. He felt anxious, a shiver running through him as he was greeted with your hostility instead of the sweet smile with which you said goodbye to him. And he had no idea where your change in attitude had come from.

Something was wrong…

"There it is! The liar! The bastard! The walking devil himself!" you shout, walking towards him.

You trip over your feet, and he automatically takes a few steps forward to catch you in his arms before you land on the floor. He looks at you carefully, and by the strong smell of alcohol coming from you and your flushed cheeks, he perceives your condition.

He completely forgot about your hostility. For now, his priority was keeping you safe and comfortable. Firstly, he just needed to understand the reason for your drunkenness. When it turns out that nothing terrible has happened (such as the sudden death of one of your family members), then he can cope with that sinister glint in your eyes that appears each time your gaze meets his.

"Is she just drunk or something bad happened?" he asks Fedyor, confused, as he finally get together enough to say something.

"YOU! That's what happened! You are the worst fucking man I have ever felt in love with." his heart skips a beat at your drunken confession. He wanted to hear it; he had secretly craved it for some time, but certainly not under these circumstances...

"C'mon, milaya. Let's take you to bed." he whispers, nodding at Fedyor to leave. Heartrender bows to him and heads towards his chambers, leaving you two alone. He gently hugs you and leads you back to his chambers.

You lean on him, and for a moment, everything seems okay as he sits you down on his bed and kneels in front of you to untie your shoes. But when your eyes meet his face again, you go into a kind of fury, kicking him and moving away from him as far as possible.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"What happened to you?!" he asks, bursting out. He doesn't understand your sudden hostility, how your attitude towards him changed in a matter of minutes—hours, actually—and how suddenly all your love and affection just... stopped existing for him.

"You!" you shout, pointing your finger at him. You wobble on your feet, and at the last moment, he comes over to catch you. This time, you let him place you on his bed and take care of you.

"More details, please." he sighs in anguish, making sure you're comfortable for the rest of the night. Whatever wrong you think he's done, no matter how mad you are at him, he won't let you escape his watchful eye like this. He would keep you safe even if you pointed a damn shotgun at him.

"I had a really nice conversation with Baghra." he freezes, halfway through unbuttoning your coat. Baghra talked to you. His mother, who hated his insides. Various scenarios and stories that she could have told you run through his head. He's glad you're telling him that when you're drunk. At least this will give him time to prepare his counter-speech until you sober up and can have a serious conversation. He just hopes that Baghra hasn't had time to make you completely hate him and to turn you against him in the few hours he's been gone. "That's it, you lying traitor! I know everything!"

"Y/N... it's not what it looks like..."

"Of course! Yes! How was I so blind to fall for your lying tongue?! I believed your sad stories and cute, puppy-like eyes, like some stupid, naive girl. Ugh! I stayed with you for damn Christmas, so that you don't feel lonely and could enjoy the holidays for probably the first time in your damn life instead of visiting my little brother!"

He doesn't respond to your words. He just holds your hand and strokes it gently as you continue to drunkenly mutter whatever's on your mind. And he listens carefully, focusing his attention on all the noteworthy words that will help him understand at least a little about how you feel and how he can fix the mess that this mad witch called his mother has gotten him into.

"I just thought you would turn out to be a better man." you whisper disappointedly, snuggling into his pillow. He finds the sight both endearing and heartbreaking.

He sighs and presses a kiss on your forehead, running his hand through your hair as you sleep deeply.

He won't lose you. Many people turned away from him; he let many of them go; he also lost many, but you won't be one of them. He may be selfish, but he's fed up with loneliness, and with you... with you, he feels like a completely different person. Someone he was before centuries of life shaped him into the man he is now. A general who was supposed to take care only of his Grisha, no matter what. A man who knew that power was something that had to be tamed, something that could not be allowed to go uncontrolled, and with you, he had lost too much of that control lately.

He had to fix everything.

And the sight of your tears drying on your cheek and neck, where he had placed tender kisses hours earlier, made him realise where he needed to start.

"You're already crawling here? I thought you'd be chasing your precious little heart first." his mother said this as he stood at the entrance to her cottage. She was finishing packing. A few years ago, he would have thanked the Saints for finally getting rid of her, but now he was glad he had made it before she left.

"Did you think I would just let you leave? That I'll let you escape and hide in a hole while I put out the fires you start?"

"I don't need anyone's permission. Besides, I doubt you'll be able to put out this fire. This little girl is quite a gasoline. She didn't need much to understand what she got herself into. Or to run away." he laughs mockingly as he steps inside. He leaves the door open to get on her nerves.

"Then, with great pleasure, I am here to say that she is back and sleeping peacefully in my bed."

"Stupid girl." she mutters under her breath and closes her bag. She throws it over her shoulder and finally turns to face him. "And what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be keeping an eye on her? After all, she can tell your little secret to the Sun Summoner. And then your plans…"

"I trust her." he says confidently, staring defiantly at his mother. "She won't do anything against me." he adds, feeling the necklace you gave him under his kefta and remembering the countless times you stood by his side, the countless times you showed him your devotion and affection.

"She trusted Kirigan. Not Aleksander." she notices. Aleksander feels bile rising in his throat and uncertainty, but he quickly shakes off the feeling, knowing that causing it is the purpose of his mother's words. And he learned better than to continue listening to her poison.

"She will trust the real me too."

They both stare at each other, waiting to see who will give in and whose defence will be low enough to strike a blow. This was mainly how conversations with his mother went. Eternal strategies, planning the next step, careful observation, and most importantly, keeping a mask and not expressing any real feelings and thoughts.

Maybe if he hadn't created the fold, things would have been different between them. But it wasn't. And he didn't know what hurt him more—that he had lost his only support over the centuries or that he couldn't just let her go or hate her completely as she deserved.

"After you lied to her? I doubt it. Remember what I told you? That greedy man may be terrible, but..."

"But there is nothing like a mad woman." he finishes for her, rolling his eyes at her poor attempt to make him doubt or dislike you in any way. "I have nothing to worry about."

"Then you should watch out for her. She may be Grisha, but she's as dead as we are, as is Miss Starkov. It's easy for something to happen to your precious little second-in-command."

"Be careful with your words." he growls menacingly, taking a step towards her. He glares at her with his evil gaze, but it does nothing for her. He knows he won't hurt her, just as she won't attack him... at least not yet. "If you put her in harm's way... think about what I might do..." an unspoken threat hangs between them.

"You were pathetic. You are pathetic. And you will always be pathetic, Aleksander."

He almost flinches at her remark. The eternal dispute between them. About Aleksander's attachment to people. Even the most fragile and weak ones, when Baghra abandoned her own children when they were not strong enough... Like she did with Ulla.

"Just like you'll always be alone, mother." he points this out and is happy to see the slight change in her facial expression as her mocking smirk disappears from her face for a moment. His small victory.

Baghra doesn't respond to his words. Shadows engulf the cabin, and before he knows it, she is gone, leaving him alone inside. He clenches his fists and spreads the shadows with a sweeping movement of his hand. He sighs, wondering how much Baghra told you was true about him and how much she made up to paint him as a power-hungry monster in your eyes.

He returns to the Little Palace in the morning. He's waiting for you to wake up, trying to read some reports and finish writing orders, but he can't bring himself to do it. All he thinks about is you, what he will tell you, how you will react, and whether you will hate him like his mother wanted you to.

When you finally wake up, he feels both delighted that his torment is over and concerned that he will have to talk to you soon. He walks up to you and hands you a cup of water and some hangover medicine.

But you don't accept it from him. Instead, you stare at him uncertainly, distrust shining brightly in your eyes, piercing his heart. He swallows, trying to get rid of the feeling of pain.

"You are aware I am the same man I was 24 hours ago?" he asks jokingly, setting the glass and medications on the nightstand next to you. He doesn't sit on the bed; he stands next to it, giving you some space. He must act methodically and carefully. Approaching you like a deer… or stag.

"No, you are not." you say it stubbornly, glancing at the things he left on the bedside table.

You raise a glass and look at the drugs carefully. Fortunately, he refrains from snorting, disbelieving that Baghra only needed a few hours of conversation to turn you against him. YOU. The only person he showed the parts of Aleksander hidden deeply in the darkest parts of himself from the world.

"Y/N... please. I just want to talk."

"About what? How have you been lying to me?" she asks him hostilely, looking at him defiantly. He knows that look and attitude. He had seen you like this more than once, when you were interrogating the Fjerdans they had captured. He never wanted to be at their place. And there he was.

"About how can I fix the way you think about me because of my mother, who isn't as much of my fan as you can guess now?"

"Well, at least now I know who you inherited this attitude from." you huff, getting out of bed. You reach for your folded kefta on the chair he left for you and start to put it on yourself.

"I beg your pardon? I am nothing like her."

"You even wrinkle your nose in the same way when something irritates or annoys you." you point it out, and he chuckles bitterly, shaking his head as he walks over to you. It's not too close, though. After yesterday, he knows better than to try to treat you with the same tenderness as before. Even if he desperately wants to.

"It's been many years since I thought of us as being anything remotely similar... of course, instead of being shadow summoners, immortals, and Morozovas."

"Wait, Morozova? Like... like the stag of Morozova?"

"Yes. Like the stag of my grandfather." he admits, shocking you even more. He watches the gears in your head turn as you uncover the hidden truth, connecting the lies Baghra told you with what he managed to reveal to you about himself.

"So not only are you… a Black Heretic, but you're also Morozova's grandson?"

"Y/N... I know it can seem complicated for you..."

"No! No. Nothing is complicated. You... you created the fold. And now you chase the stag to get its bones so you can amplify your and Alina's power to have full control of the fold. To take control of Ravka and call yourself a king."

"That's... not exactly the truth." he says, taking a step towards you. You automatically move away from him, and he clenches his jaw in frustration and anger at his mother and you for so easily believing Baghra's words.

"And what should I've believed in? You've been lying to me all this time!"

"Telling you half a story is not the same as lying." he defends himself, now staring at you with an equally obstinate gaze as you both stubbornly stick to your opinion.

"Maybe in your point of view, but not in mine." he sighs at your words, running a hand through his hair. You see his shadows hovering in the corners of his chambers as he stares at you in annoyance.

"I do not understand your behaviour. Nothing happened. You know that I was slowly revealing pieces of myself and my past. I guess you didn't expect me to tell you right away that I am... a Black Heretic. That I had lived a hundred lives, that I had to be reborn each time as somebody else to keep my existence in hiding. What other choice did I have?"

"That's the problem, Aleksander, you don't see any other solutions. You go with what is easiest for you." he huffs furiously and walks over to you. You fall back, bumping into a wall.

"Yes, because fawning over the king for hundreds of years to keep my Grisha safe is the easiest thing to do. You have no idea what I went through to give my people what we have now. If it weren't for me, you would be running away from Ravkans, Fjerdans, Shu Hans, and other beasts that want us dead or experiment on us. You don't know what it's like to go hungry, to have no roof over your head, to fear every day for your life and the lives of your loved ones, to see them die, and to bury every single person you have ever cared about. And do you know why? Because thanks to me, Grisha are now treated better than animals." he's now standing exactly a step away from you, breathing heavily with anger as he glares at you defiantly. He doesn't touch you, but you feel his heavy breath on your cheek.

"Creating a golden cage from the fold will not make us safe. You cannot isolate yourself from all evil and danger. You have to fight it. I never thought you were a coward, Aleksander. Don't make me believe you're really someone else."

You manage to push him past so you can walk towards the exit. He grabs your elbow, stopping you from leaving. Not hard enough to bruise, but enough to make you stop right there.

"What are you going to do?" he asks after a moment of heavy silence between the two of you, staring intensely at the back of your head, waiting for any movement from you.

"Nothing. You are still my general. Besides, I doubt anyone would believe me if I tried to tell the world who you really are. And don't worry. I won't tell Alina that you want to claim her power to yourself."

"It's not like that at all…"

"DON'T." you say furiously and sharply, turning to him slowly to meet his gaze. It takes all of your strength to hold back your tears that are also shining in his eyes. “Don't lie to me anymore.”

"Milaya..." he whispers desperatly, trembling as he is reaching to cup your cheek in his hand, but you pull away from him before his fingertips can touch your skin.

"If you want to prove that Baghra lied, that you weren't pretending to be a boy hurt by the world just because you were looking for some sick feeling of comfort or normality from me... if you want to prove that I'm not another Luda for you, someone who only reminds you of your great love, then prove it to me. Prove that you are a better man than Baghra taught you to be and describes you."

"The world needs a monster to change, Y/N, not a saint or hero."

"You are good, Aleksander." you say, taking a step towards him and cupping his cheeks with both of your hands. His beard tickles you a little, but you don't mind as you stroke his skin with your thumbs, keeping those dark, teary irises focused entirely on you. "I see it every time. In your patience with the little Grisha, in your concern for the well-being of each of us, in how sweet and protective you are around the people you care about... in the fact that despite hundreds of years, you still have a fragment of humanity preserved. You don't have to be rough. You don't have to be evil and ruthless. Baghra taught you that you won't survive by showing weakness and taking care of the people you outlive, but you are not like her. You are not a monster. Please don't prove me wrong. Don't prove to me that you don't care who suffers, Ravkans, Fjerdans, or others, as long as you win and achieve your goal, however honourable and glorious it may seem." you whisper the last sentence shakily and tilt his head, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. You close your eyes for a moment, absorbing his warmth and scent and memorising it.

You finally pull away from him and leave his chambers without looking back. He gives you a longing look and closes his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. His eyes land on the plans spread out on his war table.

And he can't help but wonder: Is everything he has worked for all these centuries worth standing utterly alone at the end of his glorious purpose?

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shini--chan · 4 months

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Can i req yandere sheet: attributes,flight, punisment for canada and russia?

Yandere Character Sheet I

1p Russia - Ivan Braginski

This is probably something I should have said before, but better late than never. Some of you might be inclined to voice your political opinions - with this I politely ask you to refrain from doing so. This has nothing to do with my own political stances and everything to do with this not being a politics blog. If somebody does decide to air their political opinions in the comments or ask box, it will be deleted without prior warning or further ado. Freedom of expression also means freedom to not express my opinions which is why politics will never be discussed on this blog.

Also, only whole Character Sheets may be requested!

Trigger warning: isolation, hyperthermia, hunting (with you as the prey), murder, disposal of corpses, controlling behaviour, manipulation, hints of survival horror, neglect, implied physical abuse

Attributes - What sort of Yandere is he/she?

Ivan is ultimately possessive. He has been lonely for so long, unable to connect with other people on a deep emotional level for so long. Therefore, when he has you in his grasp, you can be assured that he'll never let you go. Why should he, when you are his happiness? In the end, it isn't very important to him to know everything there is to you, as long as you are at his side (Though, that doesn't mean that he isn't curious about you).

If there is one defining thing about him, it is that he is unpredictable. He is a land of contradictions, the ultra rich live close to the dirt poor, with warm summers and hellishly cold winters - it is something that also reflects in his demeanour. He can be cultured - leading you out to theatre plays and ballets, visiting art museums and cuddling on the sofa at night and reading the classics with you. Or he could drag you along on a hunting trip, where the two of you have to live off the land for a few weeks. The ballroom or the heavy metal concert in the cellar of an old factory. It thus extends to his more unhealthy behaviour where he can maintain a stoic appearance for long, only for the emotions to concentrate into something more intense and then bubble over. It could often catch you unawares.

This is only amplified by the fact that he tends to humour the misconceptions that many people have about him. After all, if they base their actions on stereotypes and fantasies, then it means they'll underestimate him, and he'll have the upper hand and wipe the floor with them.

Aside from that, he is also very persistent. Russian winters are long and harsh, and additionally, Ivan has learned through his own history that nothing good ever comes easily. As such, he definitely wouldn't be dissuaded if you'd throw obstacles in his path. If anything, he would find it amusing that you think him so weak. So, no matter how far you run, no matter how much time passes, he won't forget you; all you can hope is that he'll lose interest or something else will take up the majority of his attention for a lengthy amount of time.

He can also be surprisingly astute and attentive to you, and this can be to your advantage as much as it can be to your disadvantage. Advantageous in that be can be very considerate - offering his jacket, or buying you presents that you like. It is also where his obsessive nuances would come to the fore and he would be so eager to please and pamper you.

The flip side of this coin is tied in with his paranoia. Having lived under countless occupations, regimes and suffered through rebellions and revolutions, plagues and famines, he would constantly be on the lookout for signs of betrayal. He is the sort to always look at his bedroom door before turning in and take keen note of people on the edges of his vision. Applied to you, that means he'll keep a very close eye on you if he thinks that you are being … disagreeable. There is the temptation to keep you under lock and key, but he knows that he has the best chance of catching you if it is in the middle of the act and if you are completely unaware of his suspicions.

There is also the matter that he has the proclivity to be very harsh. After the life he has lived, the bloodshed he has witnessed and even partook in at times, it is difficult to faze him. Thus, his interpretation of what is hurtful or even traumatising is severely different than that of other people, thanks to his blood soaked frame of reference. While he is aware of this, it still would often happen that he would scoff and label you or other people fragile when tears are shed about genuinely hurtful things. Naturally, this further influences how he treats you - varying from being too harsh with his punishments to then treating you like a fragile doll that would need toughening up before being allowed out without supervision.

Ivan is also patronising. Not to the extent Yao is, but still to an overtly noticeable degree. The main difference is that he bases it not at all on seniority but on having lived through interesting times aplenty. He has had to claw his way to his current position with nearly nothing given easily and everything painstakingly defended over and over again (at least that is how it is in his mind). Can you even claim to have suffered through a fraction of the tragedies he has? So heed his word since he is a more knowing and experienced person than you.

Cornering - How would they get you?

Ivan would much prefer you come to him willing. Perhaps you are charmed by his appreciation of the arts and literature - then he'll try to woo you by playing the gentleman or the daring young hussar. Maybe you met him as an attendee of heavy metal concerts, as a hunter in the steps and the woods - he'll indulge you so as well, showcasing the more savage part of himself. The point is that he'll try to pinpoint an angle from which he can hook you in, and then pull you closer.

But soon enough, conventenal wooing wouldn't be enough for him - his "passion" would only overcome his patience and he would want to haul you in quicker. Perhaps he would orchestrate circumstances so that you would be forced to move in, or he would manipulate events that you would have to rely heavily on him. He would dissuade you from seeking out friends and family, depicting them as parasitic and unhelpful. Whatever fears and doubts you have about your other chosen company. If he has to stand against the world, then he wants it to be with you at his side.

Though, it can just as well be that he'll have to resort to more permanent and extreme measures. At his core, he is a hunter and like any accomplished hunter, he doesn't automatically go after the weak or old - rather, it is the prized pelts of the strongest creatures he wants. The more you prevail against him, the more it will excite him. To him, catching you will be more of a game than anything else, a game of cat and mouse. If he were angry with you, it would also serve as a moral lesson.

Then there is the matter that he likes to manipulate events so that you end up in his arms - he is calling in favours, or gently nudging circumstances to play out in his favour. When it is required, he can be very patient and act with a lot of thought. He is more the sort to plan for the long term, even if he does have bouts of impulsivity.

Expectations - What do they expect of you?

He holds a certain ideal in his head, that he wishes you to fulfil. If you aren't really there yet, it is still fine - diamonds have to be cut and polished as well in order to achieve their brilliance. Why shouldn’t it be the same with you? Nevertheless, he has some expectations that you have to fulfil, in his eyes.

Politeness is one of them. This doesn’t mean that he wishes you to be unfailingly appeasing and gentle and kind all the time, all no. In his eyes, it is perfectly worthy of praise and encouragement if you have sharp edges. It is simply that you have to have tact and not make any scenes in public, and know how to act appropriately in any given moment. And that when you don’t really know how you should act, or are exceptionally jittery, that you don’t make a fool of yourself. What Ivan expects is that politeness that comes from having lessons on diplomacy or etiquette, or even just a good upbringing, and not that that stems from being a doormat.

Topping that, he wants you to be both cultured and witty. Ivan is of the opinion that you have to have a good balance of both - those that are only book smart and not street smart can be painfully entitled and self-righteous. That is something that dives into that sort of idealism that makes Ivan physically ill. He would rather not have a missionary for a spouse - they can be so hard set in their way, no room for budging and certainly no reverse gear once they start to escalate. And they are certainly of the sort that will always place any blame on him. Street smart because he would love it if you can give your own input on social situations, and relieve some of the burden from him. So that he doesn’t have to guide you through interactions, and doesn’t have to clean up any mistakes that you make. So that he can let you out of the house without having to worry. But not too street smart please, and not just that - he needs you to be able to converse on higher topics that gossip and psychology and bread prices. Book smart because it often means cultured and he wants somebody that he can share his passions with - going to the theatre, reading books on stormy nights, going on long walks and appreciating nature.

Related to that in a way, he would loath it if you are lazy. Participate in some sort of sport, preferably of the sort that isn’t of the team variant and allows you to shine on your own. Figure skating, fencing, chess, swimming … either one, maybe even all of it. Mind and body are connected so ensuring you have a healthy body through physical exertion should help prevent your mind spiralling down to insanity while at his mercy. Be the sort that doesn't procrastinate on chores and puts effort in running a good household.

Additionally, Russia likes people that are ambitious, be it in the practical sense of building and acting, or in the manner that poets and philosophers are. Have more intentions than to just stare at a screen and give out money. Have passion, dare to dream and crave more than what you have. Life in the weather extremes of his domain don't favour those without fire in their souls, and steel in their spines. Sink or swim, and if you don't have the discipline to cling to your dreams and not give up, then you won't survive him.

Though, don't forget him amidst all your calls and desires. He wants you to care for him, to sooth his paranoia and worries. Run him hot baths and cook the meals. Come New Year's lay all the homemade biscuits and cakes and salads on the table for a feast. Be family to him and he'll be family to him. Be caring and affectionate and playful (but carefully so) behind closed doors and stoic and proper in public.

Faded - Would they let go of you in any way?

Maybe, when engaging in his favourite pastime of existential dread, he would come to the conclusion that he isn't good for you; he would let you go or even deliver you to your preferred person. At times, the self-hatred does come to the fore, and makes him conclude that the wisest course of action is the one he detests the most.

Aside from that he has dreams that are bigger than his relationship with you. If you were to threaten his dreams of empire and the securities tied with it, then he would choose his dreams over you. While he would die for you (given that he will revive) he would never sacrifice himself for you.

Or, you could evolve into the sort of person that he detests. Of course, he would attempt to take control over the wheel and righting the course, but a lost cause is a lost cause. He would reluctantly let you go and cherish the memories he has. Though he'll do everything in his power to avoid such a scenario.

Punishment - How would they proceed if you do something they disapprove of?

This is the case where he doesn't really pull any punches - though he wouldn't beat you. That is something he considers himself above and besides, common punches and kicks wouldn't even teach a dog right from wrong, so how would such methods be suited for his partner.

Ivan views punishments as a form of re-education and it would be useless if he doesn't make it clear what lesson he is trying to impart, or if you don't learn it over the course of your chastisement. Besides, he doesn't see you as his enemy or an unruly subordinate, so why should he treat you as such?

Thus you'll usually receive a long lecture on your misdoings - what exactly was wrong, why and how he will deal with it. And then the actual correctional actions would commence.

In winter, he may leave you out in the cold for a few minutes, stripped of your clothing until you develop hyperthermia. Then you are forced to lay your life and wellbeing in his hands as he nurses you back to health. Besides, isn't it so romantic to have somebody save you from death's door?

In the warmer months, he would tie your hands and feet to weights and anchor you to the shoreline of a river or lake. You would be up to the chest or hips in water and he'll have you wearing either something short-sleeved or just leave you there in your underwear. That way, you would be at the mercy of the mosquitoes and insects and the creatures in the water. And at risk of getting a nasty sunburn, if you are prone to it. He would leave you for hours out there, so don't think it would be a walk in the park. If he is feeling particularly provocative, then he'll start a BBQ or do some fishing. And no, you're not getting anything to eat or drink. If you end up getting sick from drinking the water you're standing in, or eating some water plant, then he'll pump out your stomach.

Of course there are other punishments, all along the vein of the carrot and the stick. Ivan will give you your own room during the first few years, and have it fitted to your tastes. Though, you'll only be allowed to have these if you behave yourself. The same goes for good food and beverages other than water. Should you start rebelling, then he'll start stripping away the luxuries that he has given you until only the basic necessities remain. People have had to survive on less than overcooked food and plain water, so you will just be fine.

And don't presume that you can argue that you'll only give him respect if he shows you respect in the first place. While at his mercy, you're on the shorter end of the stick, powerless in relation to him, so you'll have to make careful and very good arguments. Also, don't even try to play at being a fixer-upper. He is not some broken clock that needs repairing, so don't try to "fix" him. Attempting to do so will push him very close to wringing your neck as one would a turkey on Christmas.

Though, above all, this isn't a poker game where he'll take bluffs and slights of hand and hollow promises with a mere scowl and some harsh words. Play him for a fool, make promises you have no intention of keeping, prove yourself to be utterly untrustworthy, then he'll make you feel sorry. Either, it will be solitary confinement for a week or two, or he'll dump you in the middle of nowhere, weeks away from any other human being. Perhaps he'll have to confine you to a sick bed afterwards.

Reaction - How would they react to you escaping?

His first reaction is anger, though not of the screaming and breaking things. Rather, it is that ice cold anger that makes his blood freeze and his mind razor sharp in its focus. There is part of this wrath that is due to the disrespect you show him through running away. A good relationship relies on good communication, so why did you have to run away? Why didn't you just talk about your problems with him? Why do I have to behave like a sugar-addled brat? Perhaps he should lay you over his knee, and give you a good hiding.

The other side to this coin is anger born out of worry. In terms of chinks in his armour, you can be considered one, and Ivan know of a great many people that would ruthlessly exploit it. And those people would care about honour, propriety or even so-called rights, not when ignoring that can get them what they want. Aside from that, you are so fragile and helpless compared to him - just how can you hope to survive the big, bad world out there? But don't worry, he knows how you feel, having been in a similar position a few times, so he'll be quick to come to the rescue.

Should it be possible, Russia will endeavour to retrieve you without the help. It is a private matter after all, and he does feel some second-hand embarrassment due to your antics. In the case he does involve some agents or other people, he'll be as vague about the true nature of your relationship. Just don't think that you can really use this against him - it will end up harming you more than him.

However, there could be a scenario where he would even anticipate and hunger for this. A mind game, perhaps, one designed to break your hope of escaping and flaunting his power and skill to you. In his bid to make a lasting impression on you, he is willing to declare open season on you. If he is feeling particularly vindictive, he'll draw all of this out, play with you, like a leopard toying with a baby impala before ultimately killing and eating it. Beware, for he can empathise and think like you, and thus deduce your movements and ultimately track you down. You are the prey and he is the hunter and he is willing to let you think you have the upper hand, only to crush those fantasies underfoot when the time is right.

Turnabout - Scenario: You have the upper hand? What would be different from their usual MO?

He isn't the sort to take defeat lying down, given since past events have taught that that only leads to subjugation and misery. Each time he could think about giving up, about surrendering even just a fraction of the control that he has over himself, all the times he did so before flash before his eyes, especially the 90s of the past century, of Alfred imposing his shock therapy on him and the apocalyptic circumstances it spawned. All because he was naive enough to believe an enemy would show him mercy. Why should you be any different? So if he has to go down, then you'll go down with him - he burn the cities, salt the fields and flood the mines. If he has to die, then you can ride to hell with him.

If it doesn't come to that, if the turn of events is born due to betrayal and false expectations, then he'll proceed slowly. Gradually he'll undermine your actions, or at least nudge the course of events to suit his needs. His goals don't have to be diametrically opposed to yours, or seem like things worthy of your attention. If you are ignorant in some category, then he won't hesitate to use it against you. He does intend on repaying you for everything you've inflicted upon him, and that with interest, compound interest if you are not cautious.

Should you be kind and considerate, he'll be more open to such an arrangement, as long as you pay a lot of attention to him. Ivan will still find ways to influence you, and while things will be quiet for a while, it will eventuell end like the events described above in the second paragraph. He'll make it clear to you that it is nothing personal and just business.

Vengeance - What would they do in the face of competition?

Quiet like a tiger would act if somebody steals/tries to steal his meat. At first, he is content with threats and displays of powers, puffing himself up in order to appear bigger. Cold expressions and even colder words towards any other potential suitors. Commonly, he carries himself with such authority and purpose that he scares away most of those that stand in his way.

If that is not enough, he might send some boys to knock the opponent around a bit. Or maybe stick out a leg at work to trip the other. A small message, a swipe with his claws - back off. Just a tiny incident to show the concurrence that he is serious.

But if that isn't enough, then matters get dark. Perhaps the other has his reputation ruined, with illicit material of that person posted online. Maybe he'll warn everybody to stay away from that person, a recipe for insanity. Or if the man/woman dares hurt you, or worse, then that person will end up chopped up and rendered to pig food. Anything to keep you safe, after all.

Art is not mine: from Irina Vinnik and other artists

Info an the Yandere Character Sheets

#yandere hetalia #yandere x reader #yandere russia #yandere character sheet #x reader #yandere

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 11 months

Text

Shopping trip (What is cosplay?)

Self-Aware! Nikolai Gogol x GN! Reader x Self-Aware! Doppo Kunikida

Description: Set after BSD gang got into your world.

Your new friends/roommates love exploring your world. You keep them company. One day, you and Kunikida decide to go to the mall. Gogol wants to accompany you two. The problem is... He doesn't want to disguise himself. He wants to go in his normal attire.

...

Maybe, everything will be alright, right?

Fluff (for the most part). Everyone thinks that Gogol is a cosplayer. He is ready to throw hands. But he is holding for your sake. People can't mind their own business, they have to discuss, how terrible anime fans are. Karen. Kunikida, as a former teacher, has something to say about looking after the kids.

Prequel to Surprise

Warning: OOC. Rude people. Annoying people. Karen. Rowdy unsupervised kids. One person try to touch Gogol's thighs. But not on your watch. Unintentional lockdown joke. English is my second language.

BSD cast love exploring your world. They love going for a walks. They love visiting cafés. They love going to the festivals. They love to be in places, where they can see other people.

You understand, why they doing it. If one day you woke up and find out, that streets are empty, and then lived in this environment for a few month (even, if you life with few other people), when streets became bisy again, you also would spend all your free time outside. With other people.

You accompany your new friends as much as you can. So many new good memories.

The mall became one of the most visited places. All this shops, cafés, people... For BSD cast, this place seems perfect.

Each time you and someone from BSD cast visit the mall, it became an interesting experience.

You visit the mall not only to have fun, but also to buy necessary things.

Today was 'necessary shopping trip day'.

________________________

Doppo was sitting on the sofa and rechecking the shopping list for a third time. He wanted to make sure, that everything is going to be according to plan. You lazily stretched out and sit near Doppo.

"Hey, Kunikida," greeted you. Man smiles at you and nodded.

"Good morning, [Y/N], Hope, you are ready. We will go to the mall in thirty minutes. The shopping list is complete and has been re-checked a few times."

You hum, showing, that you have heard him. You take a quick glance at the list.

"I see, Thank you, K..." You saw Kunikida's expression. He was waiting for something. You take a breath and spoke again. "Thank you, Doppo"

It was a little bit hard, calling BSD gang by their first names. It feels strange, to call Dazai 'Osamu', Goncharov 'Ivan', Poe 'Edgar' and so on. But, cast want you to call them by their first names. Slowly but surely you were getting used to it.

Doppo nodded, he seems pleased.

"Don't mention it. Be ready in half an hour. We three are going to..."

"Wait!" Interrupted you. "Three? Who is going with us?"

Kunikida's gaze became irritated.

"Nikolai Gogol."

Kolya, of course. He was one of the weirdest of your friends.

And by weird, you mean, your friendship with him start weird.

_______________________

It's been a week, since BSD gang got into your world. That day all of you held the meeting. You wanted to discuss, what they are going to do now, when they got into your world.

Meeting was normal, for the most part. But, Gogol decided to start talking about his freedom and that he will do anything to reach it.

"What I mean, Little Bird, if I want to break the law, I will break the law," Gogol leaned towards you. He looked smug. Like he was challenging you to say something.

You didn't look amused. You noticed Fyodor's expression during Gogol's speech. Dostoevsky looked annoyed by Gogol... Actually, everyone looked annoyed at Gogol. Well, you won't let him win.

Your idea was... weird. But, to be fair, the whole situation with characters from your favorite anime/manga been self-aware and in your home already was bizarre.

"So, you really value freedom, right?"

Asked you, looking Gogol right in the eyes. He grinned and nodded.

"Well, in that case," you booped his nose. "I also value my freedom. And right now, for me, freedom means booping your nose."

Gogol blinked. He opens his mouth. You booped him again. Gogol tried to say something again. You booped him again. This time, you left your finger pressed against Gogol's nose. He squinted his eyes. "[Y/N], what are you doing?"

You tried your best to mimic Gogol's voice.

"What I mean, Big Bird, if I want to boop you, I will boop you"

The room was silent. Everyone was looking at you and Gogol. Suddenly, you saw a golden glow near your stomach. Before you can react, Gogol used "The Overcoat" and trapped you in his embrace. Gogol was laughing. Gogol jumped towards Fyodor, still holding you in his arms.

"Fedya, Fedya, their reaction was priceless!"

Fyodor took a breath.

"I still don't understand, why did you decide to test them. You never planned to cause trouble here."

Gogol only grins. He looked at you. He looked much friendlier, than before.

"You are my new friend now, we will eat something tasty later"

For the rest of the meeting, you were in Gogol's embrace. It took combine efforts of Fyodor, Sigma and Fukichi to pry him off you.

____________________

You smile at the memory.

"Well, with his help we could buy more things. Don't you agree?"

Kunikida grumbles something, but nodded at agreement.

"I guess so. Anyway, we should start preparations."

______________________

In thirty minutes, both of you were ready to go to the mall and were standing near the front door, waiting for Nikolai.

You changed into suitable clothes for today's hot weather.

Instead of his normal clothes, Kunikida was wearing a green t-shirt, dark-brown shorts and flip-flops. He decides to keep his hair as it normally was.

Kunikida started to become impatient. Gogol was late.

"This clown... He himself wanted to go, and now he is late" grumble Kunikida. You put your hand on his shoulder and squeeze it.

"Easy, Doppo, it's not that bad. Maybe, he is trying to disguise himself better. His looks are quite recognizable.

It was one of the first things you taught to BSD gang. They were recognizable. That's why they should wear different clothes, when they are going somewhere. If they don't want to deal with people staring at them.

Kunikida grimaced. He doesn't like unplanned events. And Gogol was an embodiment of chaos. Kunikida turn towards you.

"I know, but still, he should be ready"

You pet Kunikida's shoulder.

You heard the sound of steps coming towards two of you. Gogol, with a few empty shopping bags in his hands, walked towards you two.

You were glad, that Kunikida didn't see Gogol right now.

Nikolai Gogol was standing there, in his normal attire and hairstyle.

You are a patient person. But, right now, you wanted to attack Kolya.

To lose some steam, you decide to indirectly quote O. Henry.

"Doppo, there isn't any heart disease in your family, is there?"(1)

Doppo looked at you, puzzled.

"I don't think so... Why?"

You looked at him. Your gaze was a mix of pity and anger.

"Then you might turn around, and have a look behind you."(1)

Kunikida looked around and saw Gogol.

Kunikida closes and opens his mouth. He looked like he was ready to combust.

To help him, you asked Gogol.

"Gogol, why aren't you ready? It's time to go."

Gogol smirked.

"Birdy, I am already ready. You know why? Right, I want the rest of the free world to accept free me! My clothes also part of my freedom."

Kunikida hissed.

"Do you forget, what Our Guiding Light told us? We are recognizable in our normal clothes! Everyone will stare at you!"

You nodded

"Doppo is right, we would attract unwanted attention."

Gogol waves his hand.

"Oh, don't worry, it can't be that bad. Everything will be fine."

You signed and try again.

"Gogol, please, you need to listen to me. Please, wear a disguise."

Gogol grimaced.

"[Y/N], please, stop it. I tell you I want to go in my normal clothes."

You facepalmed. Before Kunikida can start shouting at Gogol, you raised your hand.

"Fine. You can go in that. But don't blame me, for what's going to happen."

Kunikida wanted to protect, but, after noticing your gaze, changed his mind. Gogol looked triumphant.

You open the door.

"Be ready to be called cosplayer, Gogol."

You heard Gogol's quiet "What is 'cosplay'?", but you ignored him.

Hopefully, people at the streets won't be that annoying.

__________________

You jinxed it.

You haven't reached the mall yet, but twenty people has already annoyed Gogol into taking pictures with him.

The five-minute walk from home to the mall became a fifteen-minute walk.

You had a feeling, that everyone wants to have a photo with"cool cosplayer".

At first, Gogol was fine with having his photos taken.

But then you run into a group of rowdy fans.

They crowded around Gogol, pushing you and Doppo from their way.

"You looked like a real one!"

"Cool costume, dude!"

"The scar looks so real!"

"How much have you paid for the costume?"

"Do you want to read my smut fanfic about Fyolai?"

"Can I grab your things?"

Doppo's eyebrow twitched.

"[Y/N]... Is this normal behavior of 'BSD fans'?" Spited Doppo. You shake your head.

"No, of course not. This people are just jerks."

Gogol looked annoyed. He agreed to take some pictures, so the group will leave him alone.

Unfortunately, the group wasn't satisfied with simple pictures.

They started to demand him to make poses. Dubious poses... They clearly made Gogol uncomfortable. You noticed, that Gogol was holding himself back from attacking the annoying people. You decide, that it's time to intervene.

"Okay, everyone, move away from our friend, stop making him uncomfortable! No poses, no pictures."

You and Doppo squeezed through the crowd and stood near Gogol, like two bodyguards. The crowd try to protect, but one heavy look from Kunikida make them shut up.

You and Kunikida tried to take Gogol from the crowd. With the conner of your eye, you noticed, that the same person, who asked if they can grab Gogol's thighs, were trying to touch Gogol's thighs. Immideatly, you turn towards the jerk and hit him in the face with all of your might.

"Hands off, parasite!" Growl you.

The Creep fell down, sobbing. His friends tried to attack you in return. But, before any of them they can take a step towards you, Doppo dealed with them.

Never underestimate Fukuzawa's trainee.

All group members were lying on the ground, groaning in pain.

You three left the Creep and their friends behind.

___________________

When you finally reached the mall, you signed.

"Okay... It was something. Is everyone alright?"

Kunikida adjusted his glasses.

"I am fine"

Nikolai stay quiet. The look in his eyes was dangerous. You feel chills running down your spine. He was angry. Then he spoke.

"I am not. I want to hurt them. But," Gogol looked at you. His gaze soften. "But, for your sake, I won't do it. I don't want you to get into trouble."

You squeeze his shoulder.

"We can find a quiet place for you to stay, while Doppo and I are going shopping."

Gogol shake his head.

"No, don't worry, I will be fine."

Kunikida huffs and take the shopping list from his pocket.

"We have lost quite some time. We need to split up, so we can buy everything faster. I will go find cleaning supplies. [Y/N], can you and Gogol buy meat, fish and fruits?"

You nodded.

______________________

Good news, you haven't run into anime fans anymore.

Bad news, you run into people who hate anime.

You and Gogol were choosing fresh fish, when you heard their conversation.

"Look at this weirdo. Does the Freak thinks he can wear this clown costume in public like this?"

"Yea. He must be a screw loose."

"All the anime fans are perverts. I have heard, all of them likes little girls. Really likes"

"Bro, you will make me puke!"

Gogol's eye twitched. You quickly grabbed his hand. You whisper.

"Nikolai, please, stay calm."

Gogol squeezed your hand.

You have noticed a golden glow in one of the fish tanks. In this tank there were alive crabs. Five of them.

You blinked. All crabs disappeared.

The sound of something falling. Shocked cries of "Where did crabs come from?" The pained whines of the company that was talking about Gogol.

Crabs didn't like their new company.

____________________

After you finally buy everything you need, all of you decide to have some coffee, before you go home. The day was hard, all of you need some rest.

All of you were sitting at the same table, drinking coffee.

But, it seems, that today trouble didn't want to let you go.

At first, you heard a loud scream.

Then something ran near your table.

Two six-year-old kids. Boy and girl.

They were running around the café, screaming and grabbing everything they can see.

Their mother wasn't paying attention to them. She was talking to someone on her phone.

You three tried to ignore all this noise. Kunikida finished his coffee and put the empty cup back on the saucer with a loud clatter.

"This kids... Why parents didn't do their job? At first, parents forget about parenting, then this 'parents' have the audacity to blame teachers for their kid's terrible behavior."

You looked at Doppo with a soft look.

"Have you remembered your teaching days?"

Doppo nodded.

Gogol let out a loud yelp. Then the kids noticed Nikolai's braid and start pulling it. He turned around and growl at kids.

"Back off, you brats!"

And mother finally decided to do the parenting. By starting yelling at Gogol.

"You creep, don't you dare yell at my children!"

To be fair, Gogol tried to stay civil.

"Mam, your kids were pulling my hair! I shouted at them to make them stop."

Women glares at Gogol.

"You could let them do it! They are just kids! They are allowed to do anything they want! Wait... You... What are you wearing... Is that... one of this anime characters?"

Without letting Gogol answer, she hit him with her shopping bad.

"SATANIST! You are a satanist who is watching Chinese porn cartoons. Useless member of society!"

You had enough for today.

"Miss, watch your..." You didn't finish your phrase, when mom hit you with a shopping bag.

"Shut up! Don't interfere!"

Kunikida snapped.

"If you watched your kids..."

And Kunikida was also hit with a shopping bag.

And security finally escorted the woman and her kids from the café.

You feel, that the day was ruined.

_______________

You finally were home. After putting your bags in the kitchen, three of you sit on the couch in the living room. You're in the middle, Doppo on the right and Kolya on the left.

All three of you were silent. Gogol was the first who spoke.

"It's all my fault. You warned me. I didn't listen. I am sorry."

You stay silent. Then you whisper.

"I am also sorry. I should have tried harder to make you change your mind."

Gogol chuckled.

"[Y/N], don't blame yourself. I am also an adult, I should understand the consequences of my actions."

You take a look around the room. There must be something that can make them feel better.

You had a plan.... Maybe, it will work.

You called.

"Hey, Kolya, Doppo"

Gogol's eyes light up. It was the first time you called him by the short version of his name. He looked at you.

Doppo turn his head towards you.

"Want to have a movie night? Choose anything you want to watch, I will make snacks. How does is sounds?"

Both guys agree.

____________________

Three of you were covered in blankets. Doppo was carefully petting your head, while Nikolai was tracing lines along your hand. The movie was on. The snacks were on the table. You were snuggled between Doppo Kunikida and Nikolai Gogol.

At least this time, everything was right. Everything was better.

__________

A/N: (1) Changed quote from "The Ransom of Red Chief" by O. Henry.

#bungou stray dogs au #self-awareau #self-awarebsd #bsd #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungou stray dogs #gender neutral reader #bsd anime #gogol x reader #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd gogol #bsd kunikida #bungou stray dogs kunikida #kunikida x reader #doppo kunikida x reader #Self-Aware Doppo Kunikida #Self-Aware Nikolai Gogol

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yantalia545 · 10 months

Text

So the darling escapes and is recaptured again. How would the Allies restrain their darling so they can’t escape again?

Russia: bird cage

If you were so content with trying to fly away from him, then maybe it would be fitting to put you in a cage too. Russia will even change your nickname to his little songbird to suit you better for your new setting.

Russia was known for being a violent man without even meaning to. He’s deathly afraid of hurting you, even when heartbroken by your escape attempt, and felt the need to put you somewhere where even he couldn’t hurt you. Which was what led you to being placed in a large gilded bird cage that even he didn’t have the key to.

You’ll never see the light of day again and you will eventually lose your ability to walk with how little your able to use your legs. However, you’ll never go hungry or be without clean clothes and a bath. Even if it is a sponge bath. You will always be dressed in warm and beautiful dresses; Mostly brightly colored and flowy. Russia loves the sight of you popping out in his dark basement, but would never want you to freeze. Unless you tried to somehow escape again. Then the cold will serve as your punishment.

Russia will make sure to personally bring you three meals a day and always take the time to spend time with you at every meal. Though most times it’s just him running his hands through you hair while he talks about his day as you eat silently. If he was really mad with you that day for either trying to escape again or just being disrespectful of him, then Russia will cut you off from any food. Since he is also the only person you’re allowed to see, you’ll also have no one to visit you. You’ll be forced to starve in his cold, dark basements all by yourself.

Even if you never speak about running away again or try to act nicely towards Russia, he’ll never let you out. Ivan never trusts a person after they’ve betrayed him. He won’t fall for any discrepancies again. You included.

If anyone else takes pity on you and try to help you then Russia will have fun in torturing them right in front of you. He’ll take amusement in toying with them for hours on end. Their screams echoing in your mind forever as you can only watch in absolute horror from the safety of your cage.

China: tracker

Unlike Russia, China does want to interact with you and have as close to a normal relationship as he can. After all, it’s not healthy to be locked in one place for the rest of your life. You need sunlight and physical excursive but he can’t have you running away from him. In his mind, you’re a lost soul in need or his guidance and protection, without it, you would be vulnerable to this greedy world.

You may not understand now, but you need him just as much as he needs you.

He doesn’t want anything that would jeopardize your beauty and health, in fact, he’d like nothing more than to amplify your beauty and have you reach to your fullest potential. Just as long as it’s by his side of course and what better way to do that than with extravagant jewels? All things mighty and holly wear valerate pendants of silver and gold so why should you be any different?

It will of course, do more than just track where you are. China will have full, 24/7, access to your health and wellness too with this little device. All so he can configure your diet and activities to your daily needs. Or maybe so he can find more ways to belittle you and laugh as he seems to pop out of seemingly just the right place at just right time in your failed future escape attempts.

P.S you can’t just take the darn thing off either since it’ll dig into your skin and alert him if you try, and believe me, you do not want to know what kind of punishments he’ll dish out for that pitiful stunt.

America: Dollhouse

Don’t you see he just wanted to live a wonderful dream with you? Life together would have been so perfect for the two of you. You’d be sitting at the top of the world and you wouldn't have needed to even lift a finger to have it. All you needed to do was love him, and you couldn’t do that simple thing. Now he has to take matters into his own hand.

If you want to be like everyone else then he can always condition you. Just like he’s done for all the others that wanted to disobey him.

This wouldn’t be after just your first attempt. Oh no, he’s passed that point long ago and had tried much softer, tamer, ways to coax you to be his perfect wife but you insisted on being so stubborn. America is all out of sympathy at this point and will make that apparent.

The best way to describe your situation would be three movie sets stacked together to create a bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. Although there is no leaving since there would a thick glass wall at the end of each set. Like an opened dollhouse with a screen to protect anything inside. You could try to break the glass but not even bullets could get through them. America made sure of that.

There will also be no concept of time to make it harder to escape. (If you had any chance of leaving at all). The illusion of daylight will be provided by artificial lights made to reenact sunlight and clocks that change time randomly.

When you wake the conditioning can begin.

He’ll force you to act out scenes to show you exactly what he wants and how he wants you to behave. Watching with, dead, love sick eyes on the other side of the glass as you fulfil his every desire. Act out, or deny his request and he’ll shock you with just a push of a button. Careful though, with each push the shock will become more intense, so you better behave yourself.

Unlike the others though, America will let you out eventually but only when he knows your perfectly conditioned for him.

Britain: Labrinth

I’d imagine he would only use this kind of method if the time of his obsession with you was during a time of war. His work would need too much of his attention to fully deal with you so he’ll use his magic to compensate for his lack of time.

He’ll create a world just for you with a door that only he can enter. There would be no escaping. Hell, you wouldn’t even know where you are or what in the world has happened to you. Recalling the events before you awoke here resulted in a feeling of haze until you reawake again, so it was pointless to try. All you could do was push forward in hopes of stumbling across an exit that doesn’t exists in your sense of reality.

It was a strange place to say the least. It was if your entire world with a series of brilliant paintings all jumbled into one place. The grass may be green and the flowers may bloom gracefully in one area, but then next would be the inside of an ancient coliseum. Nothing seemed to match or make much since here. Just a collection of beautiful creations and you were the climatic point of it all.

In the small snippets of time that England manages to seize, he adores watching you explore his creations he’s created just for you. You were always such a curious darling. Always asking questions and searching for answers in places that could get a little thing like you in serious danger. According to England, this was the perfect place for you; A place to channel your never ending curiosities without ever needed to leave him and potentially hurt yourself.

When England does finally decide to show himself to you again he won’t display himself as he’d done before. He’ll illustrate a new image of himself for you. One of total authority, love, and respect; Like a god. Even though he loves you dearly, England is still kind of a narcist. You will praise him and learn how to properly appease him. After all, he did create you world (even if he did trap you there..), it’s the least you can do to show your appreciation. If you fail to do so or don’t comply then he can always give you the not to pleasant sides of his creations.

With just a snap of his fingers he can turn this world of paradise into a hellish nightmare, so you best be carful. Awful disobedience will get you nowhere.

France: Tower

He didn’t want to do this to you, but the world is so dangerous that he has to do whatever he has to do to keep his darling rose safe. France would never believe that you would have left him out of your own free will. You love him dearly, don’t you? The two of you were meant to be together bounded by souls.

In his this twisted fantasy France had string together in his mind, he is only to assume that there is someone forcing you to run away from him but he just doesn’t know who it is yet. So, being your daring prince charming that he is, France will have no choice but to create a space where you can be safe from all eyes.

France would never even dare treat his precious rose with such disrespect by locking you in a dusty basements or risk scaring your delicate skin with harsh chains, so he’ll have you safely locked away in the tallest tower that he can construct.

Much like Mother Gospel in Rapunzel, France will make sure you have everything you could ever need and want without having you to leave your tower. It’s very rare for France to come up to your chambers and not have a gift for you.

Don’t bother trying to scream for help out the one window in the tower. You’re much too high up for anyone to hear and there’s no other rooms in the tower besides yours either. Jumping out is suicide and the only other way out is through a door that only opens with a doorknob that France makes sure to use to get inside before neatly tucking it away from your reach.

It’ll be almost as maddening as France's feelings for you to spend the rest of your life looking out at a world that you’d never be able to interact with again. Well, with nothing else besides what France brings you that is.

Canada: Drugs

This would be a snapping point for Canada.

This was his last resort. You just couldn’t grasp how deathly the cold really is in the middle of nowhere no matter how hard he tried. That, and how dangerous the world is. This wouldn’t have been your first time escaping him but it most certainly will be your last. Canada is done playing around.

He takes your safety very seriously. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you some how got yourself hurt. Which was why he brought you to an isolated part of the mountains in the first place. You were an endangerment to yourself and you need him to protect you.

Canada is a very patient man. More than anyone else listed here. He was content with waiting for you to come around but that all gets thrown out the window when you hit him over the head and ran out into the freezing night with no jacket or boots on.

He’s dealt with this before. You’ve tired running outdoors without him before and it didn’t end well. You slid down a slippery hill when running and smashed your head on your way down. You were in bed for a week with a concussion and a cold, and that was when you had warm clothes on! Lord only knows what would happen if you were left out there with nothing to protect you against his harsh winters!

This will hurt him way more than it will hurt you. Mostly because you will be too numb to comprehend much of what’s happening since you’ll constantly have a drug in your system. It’ll eat away at Canada every time he has to inject you. He’ll even cry often about how he’s sorry that things had to come to this.

It’s a shame really. All Canada ever wanted was for someone to notice him; To love him. You were the only person to give him the time of day and gave him life. He was so deathly scared to lose this feeling of love that he’d erase your entire personality just to preserve his own selfish desires. If this is the only way he can truly have you then he’ll do it.

You need to forget about the outside world now. It’s dead, and nothing out there will ever hurt the two of you ever again. Nothing to abandon you. Nothing to stab you in the back and leave you for dead. Nothing to spread lies of fear. Just the two of you together. Living comfortable and alone while the rest of the world rots.

#hetalia #yandere hetalia #yandere allies #yandere england #yandere russia #yandere france #yandere america #yandere canada #yandere china #hetalia x reader #hetalia x you

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marvelmusing · 1 year

Note

Keep Your Judgement is another masterpiece in the making, and it’s helping me immensely with the stages of my grief 🥲

This tho, I saw and thought…. What if years after marriage, IAL Aleksander has had many conversations about the Reader’s world, including what men of that world wore. For an anniversary, he has Fabrikators create what he understood to be the approximation of said fashion and, voila… i mean, he meant well and all 😅☺️

I’m so in love with every piece of bts content we get, seeing the actors just chilling or messing around while in costume is one of my favourite things

anyways, here’s a little something for you...

New Wardrobe

Featuring IAL!Aleksander x Reader

For a solid five seconds you stare at your husband, not quite comprehending what you are seeing. Whatever words had been half out of your mouth are now forgotten as you stand at the threshold of the former war room after wandering through your bedroom in search of him.

Once your body settles on a reaction, you find yourself pressing your palm to your mouth to stifle your laughter.

“Are- are those sunglasses?” you ask.

Aleksander turns to look at you from where he’s seated at his desk, a pair of shaded glasses perched on his nose as he flashes you a wide smile. At that, you can’t help but turn away to laugh.

With every day you spend living in Ravka, everything here becomes more and more real to you. What was once fantasy is now your normality. But seeing the Darkling wearing sunglasses - indoors - is too amusing and absurd for you to remember that he is also your husband.

A hand against the door frame steadies your folded body as you bend over with your laughter. Every time you push back the amusement, you turn to look at Aleksander, only to continue laughing.

Only when you see him pouting, pushing his chair back to leave, do you manage to somewhat stop yourself.

“No Sasha, love, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you,” you tell him. Moving quickly towards him, you wrap your arms around his middle as you press your forehead against his back. “I promise. You just surprised me, that’s all.”

“Surprised you?” he repeats drily.

“I wasn’t expecting it.” After a small pause, you ask tentatively, “Why are you wearing them inside?”

“I heard you coming and just wanted to show you them.”

“What if I was actually Ivan?” you ask teasingly, imagining the heartrenders face attempting to remain neutral at the sight of Aleksander wearing sunglasses - a previously unheard of accessory in Ravka.

“Ivan would knock on the door, not walk through our bedroom.”

Aleksander pulls the glasses away from his eyes as he turns to face you, finding a fond expression on your face though the amusement still sparkles in your eyes as he places them down on his desk.

Then your gaze falls down to the rest of his outfit. He’s wearing his summer kefta, a lighter fabric than the thick wool of its winter counterpart, and his thin black tunic. The cut of the neckline for both of these articles of clothing is quite low cut, something you particularly enjoy.

But today you spot something underneath, black fabric with a rounded neckline, almost like a t-shirt. Frowning, you look at the rest of him.

“Are you wearing sweatpants?”

He looks away almost sheepishly, brows pulling together slightly in resignation, as if he knows his answer will give you even more entertainment than the sunglasses.

“Perhaps.”

Instead of laughing, you suppress the twitch at the corner of your mouth and slowly slide your hands under the lapels of his kefta, slipping it from his shoulders. He tilts his head aside, watching you as his kefta is draped over the back of his chair by your careful hands.

Unclasping the hidden hooks of his tunic, you reveal the full ensemble he has created. Black t-shirt and black sweatpants. The smile on your face widens, which makes Aleksander sigh as he narrows his eyes at you in warning.

“Still surprised?” he teases, but a pretty pink is dusting its way over his cheekbones.

Seeing Aleksander wearing clothing that had once been so ordinary for you, instead of ornate keftas of silk and wool, sends a thrill through you.

He looks just as handsome as ever and you can’t stop yourself from imagining him in your old world, a charming stranger that you run into one sunny day in a park. Perhaps that’s how you meet in some other reality.

Standing on tiptoe, you place the sunglasses back on his face, smile softening as you press a kiss to his cheek.

“Very surprised.”

#in another life au #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #the darkling au #the darkling x reader #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone x reader #my mutuals (affectionate)#thanks for the ask!#answered asks

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rose-sophia-isabella-rogers · 4 months

Text

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter II - As Fragile as Glass

Chapter Summary: You and Kirigan slowly get closer. You show him your vulnerable side and he opens up to you. When a threat comes at you two, you realise that he's no longer just your supervisor anymore.

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Fedyor Kaminsky, Ivan

Word Count: 4092

A/N: oprichniki – the Darkling's personal guards, elite soldiers Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089952351/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798541/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089924746/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089949564/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089797843/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798504/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089786928/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089797583/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089786915/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798533/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089798502/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

The letter from General was not a way of messing around with you. The day after that you show up outside his chambers and knock hesitantly. When you enter after getting permission, you're met with a tea ready and Kirigan waiting for you by his table. He can tell you are surprised that it wasn't a joke, but does not comment on it. So, you sit down and have a bizarre tea with your supervisor.

Your teas continue. Like he promised, you have it every day. Soon, you stop becoming uncomfortable during them and find yourself relaxing. You blame it on General's charming personality. You're sure if he wanted to, he could have a rock swooning for him. It makes you anxious a bit. But you don't want your teas and conversations to stop.

One day, you don't come. Not because you don't want to, but because you don't notice what time it is, so engrossed in your work. You notice that something is amiss, when the Grisha that have just returned from their work become awfully quiet. Slowly, you raise your head and look around. You stiffen when your eyes fall on the door.

There stands General Kirigan. His arms are crossed and there's a scowl on his face. You shiver. Uh-oh…

'Tell me, Miss [L/N], did I not make myself clear?' he asks, slowly walking toward you. You gulp.

'I didn't do it on purpose,' you say, realising you're late to your tea. 'I just… lost track of time. It happens to me all the time.'

General stops in front of you and sighs heavily. You're really nervous but you immediately relax seeing an amused glint in his eyes, which is now familiar to you. Strange, how you can tell his real moods now…

'Does it now?' he asks. 'I guess that means I'll just have to come and collect you by myself at such times.'

You can't help but smile slightly. Kirigan gives you a pointed look and you quickly clear your station, then leave with him for you every day tea. Needless to say, now everyone is aware of those events and treat you with a bit more respect, knowing you somehow got General's favour.

And every day you feel you two are getting closer. You think you can call him your… friend. Kirigan feels it as well. But he also can tell you're holding yourself back. Every time he gets closer to you, you take a few steps back, closing yourself from him. It frustrates him. He's already stopped fighting the pull he feels toward you. So, why can't you stop doing the same?

One day changes everything. One day he returns from the Grand Palace, frustrated once again because of the fool of the king. He walks quickly, angrily. Everyone who are in his way quickly get out of it, cowering with fear. But at some point, he turns a corner and bumps into someone.

'Off!' this person says. 'Sorry!'

Kirigan is about to snap at them, but then he realises it's you. Immediately, his anger seems to vaporise. That is, until he sees the state you are in.

'General,' you say, looking down. 'I'm sorry. I should have been more attentive to my surroundings.'

Kirigan tilts your chin up to get a better look at your face and the evidence of a fight. He delicately thumbs away the streak of blood by your mouth, saying nothing as he examines it. After a brief pause, your heart skips a nervous beat as he looks you dead in the eyes.

'Who did this to you?' he asks, his voice quiet and tense, his anger barely restrained.

'That… It's nothing,' you say and attempt to walk past him. But he grabs your arm. Tightly.

'Who. Did. This. To. You?' he repeats, every word emphasised. You shiver.

'Don't worry about it,' you say, forcing a smile for him. 'I'm fine. I always am.'

'You're strong,' he says after a moment, only slightly loosening his grip on you. You sigh with relief.

'Yes,' you confirm, nodding. 'So…'

Once again you try to walk away. But General doesn't let you go. You look at him with confusion. He stares at you with such intensity that you're at a loss of words for a moment.

'That's the problem with being the strong one,' he says and you can swear there's a hint of sadness in his voice. 'No one offers you a hand.'

You stiffen at those words. Because they're true. Damn it, they're true. No one has ever offered you a hand. Not even your mother. She's always repeated you that you're strong and you can endure it.

Your mouth tremble from stopping the sob that threatens to come out of your throat. Kirigan's eyes soften. Same as his grip on you.

'Come with me,' he says gently and takes you with him to his chambers. He dismisses people waiting for him there and sits you on his chair. You're confused at first, but then you're surprised, when he starts to treat your beaten and cut face by his own. He could have easily called a Healer.

'It was my fault really, I should have just kept quiet,' you say after a moment of silence. Kirigan looks at you curiously. He sits down next to you.

'I usually do, but…' you say and sigh, '… I was just so tired.'

'Of what?' General asks quietly. You don't answer.

'Remember how I told you about my father?' you ask after a moment instead and he nods. 'I told you how his anger and my mother's joy fight inside me. My father had the kind of anger all fathers do. Loud and terrible. It lingers for your whole life. So, sometimes I can't win with it and I snap.'

'What caused you to snap today?' Kirigan asks, taking your hands to clean them from blood he's just noticed on them.

'One of the Alkemi told me that the only reason you're interested in me is because I'm making your skiffs,' you answer, causing General to stiffen. 'That you think charming me will make me more productive and they're going to be finished sooner.'

'And what did you tell them?' Kirigan asks, forcing his shadows not to reveal themselves to you because of his anger. You shrug.

'That he's probably right,' you answer and General looks at you with wide eyes, baffled. 'But while you may be using me, you're still a nicer company than most of them.'

'And he hit you,' Kirigan guesses.

'No, he hit me after I hit him,' you correct him. General raises his eyebrows.

'And why did you hit him?' he asks. You don't answer. Kirigan looks at you and is surprised to see your cheeks slightly pink.

'That you must be using me, because if you're spending time with me just because of my company, then you must be really dumb,' you answer after getting a stern look from General. He pauses.

'You hit him…' he says slowly, '… because he called me dumb?'

'Yes,' you sigh. 'And then he hit me. And he had a ring on his finger, hence the cuts. Because it turned into a fight. David and another Durast had to separate us. David sent me to cool my head and have my face looked after.'

General hums. He gently caresses your face. You shiver.

'I'm not using you, you know,' he says. 'You must believe that.'

You frown at him. He looks at you with such sincerity you haven't seen in his eyes yet.

'It really bothers you that much?' you ask. 'That I may think you're using me?'

'Yes,' Kirigan answers. 'I consider you my friend. Even if you close yourself off from me.'

He gives you a pointed look. You look down. You start playing with your hands.

'I'm sorry that I have trust issues, but you give someone everything and they treat it like nothing, something inside of you really breaks,' you say quietly. General's eyes soften.

'Your father,' he guesses. You nod. You blink away the tears.

'I can't tell you how many times I did something to get his approval, a kind word from him,' you whisper. 'I tried to act like a boy, did all the things boys did. In vain. I failed.'

Tears fall down your cheeks. Kirigan cups your face and makes you look at him. Your sad eyes meet his soft ones.

'No, you did not,' he says strongly. 'A daughter should not have to beg her daughter for a relationship. He should have loved you for who you are, not hate you for who you are not.'

You whimper. You close your eyes and lean to his touch. His heart breaks for you.

'I saw how glad he was when he was giving me away to the Little Palace,' you say and your voice becomes bitter. 'He disposed of me like I was just a thing for him. A thing that was just taking place in the house and his money.'

Kirigan does not hesitate. He takes you in his arms and presses you to his chest.

'He didn't deserve you,' he murmurs. 'He didn't. And you deserve someone who isn't okay with losing you.'

You can't help it. You cry in his kefta, grasping it. He puts a hand on the back of your head and murmurs words of comfort. Eventually, the tears stop. You pull away and sniffle.

'I'm sorry,' you say softly, looking at his wet clothes. Kirigan shakes his head and hands you his handkerchief.

'Don't worry about it,' he says. You blow your nose and hide the handkerchief to your pocket, intending to wash and return it. You look at the map table next to you wistfully.

'I hated it at first in the Little Palace,' you say. 'I hated being a Grisha. Do you know when that changed?'

'When?' General asks, drying the tears from your face. You look at him. He freezes seeing a certain light in your eyes.

'When I realised what I can do with my powers,' you explain. 'What kind of good I can bring do this world. I decided then that I will give my future children a world where they will never need to question if they are loved. Where they are safe.'

Kirigan looks at you, stunned. Something stirs in his heart. He squashes it, but the damage is done.

'You truly are an amazing person,' he says. 'Not just a Grisha. I hope you know that. And that I value you as both. I'm not using you. I swear.'

'Even if you were, I wouldn't stop coming to our teas,' you say with a smile and hum wistfully. 'Strange. I never craved anyone's attention, until I tasted yours.'

Kirigan gulps. He wants to say something but you stand up. He follows you suit.

'Thank you, General,' you say and bow your head to him. You turn to leave. Kirigan hesitates. But you bore your soul so much to him today. He feels he owes you the same.

'Call me Aleksander,' he says. You stop and turn to him, surprised.

'We're friends, aren't we?' he asks. 'So, call me by my name.'

'Only if you're going to call me [Y/N],' you say, smiling slightly. Aleksander smiles back.

'It's a deal, then,' he says and clears his throat. 'I'll see you at seventeen o'clock, [Y/N].'

'Until then… Aleksander,' you say and leave. When you're gone, Kirigan exhales slowly. He's not sure whether he did right by telling you his real name. But strangely… he doesn't care.

It feels strange. Calling Kirigan your friend. And calling him by his name. That especially. You keep addressing him as 'sir' or 'general'. He corrects you every time, either with a stern look or an amused smile.

You both realise both things have finally sink in for you, when one day you storm over to him while he's on the courtyard. He raises eyebrows at the scowl on your face. He stops Ivan's report with a raised hand.

'Kirigan, why, for Saints' sake, did you send away my best Alkemi to the front?' you demand and throw your hands in the air. 'Why did you send him there at all? Materialki don't go to war!'

You stop in front of him and put hands on your hips. You glare at him. Aleksander can't help it. He thinks you look adorable. It costs him everything not to smile.

'Because I noticed one thing about him,' he says instead calmly.

'And that would be?' you ask, irritated. He leans down to your ear.

'He's the only Alkemi that wears a ring,' he whispers. You stiffen. Oh. You did let that detail that day, didn't you?

'Really?' you ask quietly, turning your head to meet Aleksander's eyes. 'You punished him because he hit me after I started the fight?'

'I punished him, because he disrespected you, his supervisor,' Kirigan corrects you. 'Because he doubted my friendship with you and hurt you, my friend. If I can't protect the ones I care about, how can I do that for the whole country?'

Your look softens. General looks at you with that softness reserved only for you.

'Thank you, Aleksander,' you whisper so only he could hear and take a step back. You stiffen suddenly. Kirigan looks around, curious about the sudden change in your posture. The reason turns out to be all Grisha around you staring at you two with wide eyes. Because not only did you call General by his surname, with no title, but you also told him off. In public.

'That is so humiliating,' you say, horrified, your cheeks becoming red. 'David is never going to let me live it down.'

You touch your burning cheeks and shake your head. Aleksander laughs and pats your shoulder.

'If anyone can treat me like that, it would be my best friend, don't you think?' he asks, with a teasing glint in his eyes. You grin. You try to ignore how your heart skipped a bit when he called you his best friend. But you know that it's in that moment that you've finally accepted that you two indeed are friends.

Around a month later you realise that Aleksander is indeed your best friend. It happens during another of your teas. You come a bit later, because you had to finish something. Kirigan's already sitting by the table, his tea in his cup.

'I am so sorry,' you apologise, sitting down with an exhale, because you were rushing here. 'I really couldn't get away from that.'

'It's alright,' Aleksander assures you, pouring you your tea. 'I'm glad that this time I didn't have to drag you out, at least.'

You huff a laugh and shake your head. Kirigan winks at you and takes a sip of his tea. You don't drink yours, because while Aleksander prefers his really hot, you prefer yours to cool down a bit. Later, you think this may be what saved you both.

You're actually about to raise your cup with tea, when suddenly General starts coughing. He can't seem to stop. You look at him with worry, your hand frozen next to your cup.

'Aleksander?' you ask, frowning. 'Is everything alright?'

'Sorry… I just…' he says and coughs violently. 'I feel odd…'

He stands up. He wobbles suddenly. He barely manages to grab the edge of the table, but he hits it with his leg and sends your cup flying. You have to stand up, to avoid being burnt.

'Aleksander!' you cry out, startled. He leans on the table, panting heavily. You see he's sweating and is incredibly pale. You're deeply worried now.

You sense it more than seeing it. You jump to the side, your head barely missing a dagger aimed at it. You fall on your butt and you stare at the blade with wide eyes.

'Skerden Fjerda!' a man cries out, jumping from behind a curtain. How did you two didn't notice him, you have no idea. Besides, you don't exactly have time to wonder about it, since he throws himself at Aleksander. Who tries to fight the Fjerdan off, but whatever is happening to him, has made him weaker and has blunted his reflexes.

You panic. You should call for help. But Aleksander has called his oprichniki off, as he always does during your tea time. So, there's no one around. Your eyes fall on the dagger lodged in the wall next to you. Later, you think you were stupid not to even think about using your powers and stop him thanks to iron in his blood. Or simply throw the dagger at the man with your powers.

Instead, you force the blade out of the wall with your hands and throw yourself at the Fjerdan with a battle cry. You jump on his back and start stabbing him. Eventually, the man gurgles, blood falling from his mouth. You have to slide off him, so not to stumble down with him. He ends up on the floor, not moving.

Silence fills the room. Aleksander, who's kneeling because of the Fjerdan, stares at you with wide eyes. Slowly, he presses his hand to the man's neck.

'He's… he's dead,' he says, shocked, and pulls his hand away.

'He was trying to hurt you,' you defend yourself.

'I… I know,' Aleksander says, slowly standing up.

'I had to do it,' you say, panicking again. 'I can't- I can't let anything happen to you. You're my best friend. I had to-'

You're about to hyperventilate. Kirigan understands that and quickly throws himself to you.

'Hey, hey!' he interrupts you, cupping your face. 'Look at me. I know, okay? That scum was going to kill me. You saved me. I'm just… I'm just shocked, I guess?'

'But not scared?' you ask, looking at him with fear in your eyes.

'Of you?' Aleksander asks and kisses your forehead. 'Never.'

You lose strength in your legs and you both fall on your knees. Kirigan takes you in his arms and presses you to himself tightly. You start crying, or maybe rather sobbing. It takes General a second to understand your reaction.

You told him that weeks ago. You've never killed. You didn't want to kill. And yet you just did it. Without hesitation. For him. To save him.

'I've got you,' he murmurs in your ear. 'I've got you, [Y/N].'

'I was so scared,' you whisper. 'I thought you're going to die. And I didn't want that. At all. It scared me so much. Why? Why am I so afraid to lose you, when you are not even mine?'

'I am,' Aleksander says quietly. 'I am your best friend. And you're mine.'

He hugs you tighter. You sob again, hiding your face more in his kefta. Eventually, you pull away, drying your face. You laugh nervously.

'I'm sorry,' you apologise. 'I seem to cry a lot in your presence. You must think I'm so weak.'

'Never apologise for crying,' Aleksander says, surprising you with his seriousness, and caresses your cheek. 'Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.'

You stare at him in awe. He looks back at you with that intense stare of his. You open your mouth to say something, when you hear rapid footsteps. Apparently, someone has heard your battle cry.

It's Ivan who bursts into the room. He stops quickly dead in his tracks, however. The usually stoic Heartrender looks at the sight in front of him with wide eyes.

'Why is there blood everywhere?!' he asks, shocked.

'I may have… aggressively poked someone with a dagger,' you explain sheepishly. Aleksander snorts. Ivan, however, looks at you with even greater shocked.

'You stabbed someone?!' he asks.

'No, no,' you deny, the tone of your voice serious. 'Aggressively poked him with a dagger.'

Aleksander can't help it and bursts out laughing. While Ivan finally sees the dead body next to you. You're pretty sure he's about to have a heart attack.

'A Fjerdan?' he asks, baffled. Kirigan calms down and pulls slightly away from you.

'Yes, Ivan, be so good and find out how he found himself not only in the Little Palace, but also in my chambers,' he says. 'And how he managed to spike my tea.'

'Spike?' you ask, curious. Aleksander nods.

'I'm sure that's the reason why I was feeling so odd,' he explains. 'Good thing you haven't drunk it yet. Ah, Ivan, call someone to clean this mess, as well.'

You look at the bloody floor. Ivan quickly regains his composure and bows to the General.

'It shall be done, sir,' he says. He gives you a respectful nod and hurries out of the room.

'We should get that drug out of your system,' you say, turning to Kirigan. He shakes his head.

'It's not poison, it will pass by itself,' he says. You frown.

'It may have other dangerous properties,' you say and bring your hands together. 'Let me.'

The Darkling hesitates. You straighten up.

'I'll be fine,' you say. 'I'm one of your most skilled Durast.'

'I know that,' Aleksander says quietly. 'But you're also my dearest friend. But very well.'

You nod and press your hands to his chest. He winces, feeling you manipulating the drug in his body. He wants to pull away when he sees your hands shaking and sweat forming on your forehead. But before he can act on it, you let your hands drop and smile at him.

'All done,' you say. 'How are you feeling?'

Aleksander takes a deep breath in. He smiles at you.

'Much better, thank you,' he answers and helps you up. Weakened by what you did, you have to lean on him.

'Oh,' you say, noticing blood on your clothes. 'I have to clean myself up as well.'

'So do I,' Aleksander sighs and looks at you apologetically. 'I'm sorry our tea time was so rudely interrupted.'

'Oh, don't be sorry, it was worth it,' you say. He looks at you, baffled.

'I'm sorry?' he asks, confused. You nod seriously.

'It got me Ivan's respect,' you explain. 'And that's my greatest accomplishment in life. I'm not going to do anything greater. Ever.'

Aleksander stares at you for a moment. Then, he bursts out laughing. You grin.

'I'm glad you can see some positives in this situation,' he says. Just then you hear rushed footsteps again. A second later Fedyor rushes in.

'General, are you alright?!' he asks. He stops and his mouth form in an 'o', when he sees lots of blood and the dead body.

'Well, he's definitely not,' he says after a moment. 'What happened?'

'He tried to kill Kirigan', you explain. 'So, I poked him with a dagger.'

'You… poked him,' Fedyor repeats slowly. Aleksander's shoulders shake from stifling laughter. He's saved from another burst of it by Ivan showing up. He puts his hands behinds his back and reports:

'Everything is already taken care of, General. I've also requested for a bath for you, [Y/N].'

'Hot bath?' you ask, your eyes lighting up. Ivan nods seriously.

'With bubbles,' he adds. You look at him, touched. Then, you turn to Aleksander.

'I think he's my new best friend,' you inform him. He looks offended at that.

'I beg your pardon?' he asks with disbelief.

'Shh,' you hush him, placing a finger on his lips. 'At least today. Thank you, Ivan.'

'Of course,' the Heartrender says and offers you his arm. 'Here, let me help you.'

'Oh, you're too good for me,' you say and glance back at Aleksander. 'I'll see you later?'

'Yes, later,' Kirigan sighs and watches as you leave with Ivan. Silence feels the room.

'Did… Ivan just called [Y/N] by her name?' Fedyor asks slowly. 'Although he refused to acknowledge her existence for weeks?'

'Yes,' Aleksander confirms grimly.

'And he ordered a hot bath for her?' the Heartrender makes sure.

'Yes,' Kirigan yet again confirms. Fedyor looks at him, puzzled.

'How did that happen?' he asks, at a loss. General shrugs.

'[Y/N] poked someone aggressively with a dagger,' he explains. Fedyor gives him a look. Aleksander just smiles.

'Well, I'm just glad you two are okay,' the Heartrender sighs.

'Alive, but not really okay,' Aleksander corrects him. '[Y/N] killed someone for the first time.'

'That changes people,' Fedyor sighs.

'Indeed,' Kirigan confirms thoughtfully, already wondering who you are going to become.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/133437991

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karamazovposting · 3 months

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On Ivan and bipolar disorder (part two)

Before continuing from where I left off in part one I have to say something: I go over some heavier stuff in here. Nothing that isn't already present in the book and that I haven't seen mentioned in other people's metas, but I still want to give you a heads up: the main focus of part two is suicide/suicidal ideation and childhood trauma. I mean, this is a The Brothers Karamazov meta about a bipolar coded character so I think you all already knew these things were going to be in here, but I think that if you have bipolar disorder or are close to someone who has it some things could be upsetting or remind you of some unpleasant (to put it mildly) experiences. Writing certain things hits me at least (though not in a triggering way), but I think it's important to touch certain topics as they are core topics when it comes to bipolar disorder and it's impossible to talk about it without going over the ugly stuff. I've also been on meds and in therapy for years and I'm doing fairly well in life now so that's all in the past. Anyway don't worry, this is the only part of this essay that includes these topics.

This said, here's what I'll go over in this post: mostly what Ivan says in The brothers get acquainted, Rebellion, and The Grand Inquisitor, focusing more on the former two than the latter, as I personally find a particular passage of The brothers get acquainted to be one of the most beautiful and bipolar things I've ever read and we need to talk about Rebellion to further understand Ivan's inner world. The Grand Inquisitor isn't really that useful in this case but there's one thing that caught my attention.

As I already said in part one, The brothers get acquainted is the chapter that made me decide that Ivan is bipolar coded. I've even written a specific part of it down and read it to my therapist because I am, in fact, clinically insane. At this point I don't think I can hide how biased I am anymore, not that I ever really tried anyway, so I'll start by saying that this is my favorite part of the whole book. It may seem strange because it seems like such a small and simple chapter: it's not The Grand Inquisitor, it doesn't have the dreamlike atmosphere of Cana of Galilee or the chaotic passion of Delirium; it's not the courtroom scene or the epilogue. No one's getting murdered or hallucinating the devil or getting falsely accused, just Ivan talking about himself and letting us see his humanity like we had never before. We get to know him in the same way and at the same time his own brother does.

Why is this, in my opinion, the most crucial passage? What does it tell us? This is the first window on Ivan's inner world we get and the first thing it tells us, through Alyosha, is that there's a significant gap between how other people see Ivan and how he actually is. I mean, we already had a glimpse of that in the previous chapters through Miusov, Dmitri and even Fyodor, but Ivan was never there. The difference here is not only that Ivan is present, but also that Alyosha managed to see right through him in a way the others didn't, and it's telling that Alyosha asks Ivan if he'll get angry and feel insulted after hearing what he picked up on, considering that it's just that Ivan is after all a regular twenty-three year old. Alyosha even tells him he's nice! The thing is that Alyosha thinks that to Ivan the offense wouldn't be in what he managed to see in him, but in the fact that he managed to see it in the first place. I think I'll go over this and the other characters' perception of Ivan in part three because it doesn't really fit with this part's themes and also I have a feeling this post will get long even without it (sorry!).

Ivan is not angry at all though, he's amused and he takes this opportunity to open up; after all he did say he wanted Alyosha to get to know him (and viceversa!). I think it's important to note that he ends up pretty much monologuing for three chapters straight, almost as if he's used to bottling up his feelings and keeping his thoughts to himself (I'm pretty sure it's actually stated somewhere that he does, I had some little notes I wrote in my phone mentioning something like that but my notes app crashed before I could save them and I can't for the life of me find it in the book, but I swear it's there).

Here we get to see Ivan's rather unusual attitude towards life: he's not actively suicidal in that moment, but he doesn't exclude the possibility of suicide later in life, and not only this is a very bipolar feeling on its own, but the origin of this feeling and the way he explains his reasons also are. Ivan is very tired, both physically and mentally, it's stated multiple times through the novel, but he doesn't necessarily hate life even though he has mixed feelings towards it; on one hand he says there is no kind of misery, no matter how deep, capable of making him want to stop living (after all, bipolar disorder is all about bouncing back up no matter what), but on the other hand he's repulsed by life and that's why he describes his lust for it as inconvenient and against logic. He wants to live but he hates that he wants to live and he knows he'll eventually get tired of it and just quit, and it's something he feels very strongly, all of it. The thing that really sticks out to me and that struck me is that his passive suicidal ideation is very thought out (unlike Dmitri's which feels more impulsive to me but that's another story for another post), like he's gone through miserable periods of his life several times (I mean, the narrator does also say it) and he came to the conclusion that yes, this is bearable, but only for a limited number of years. He says he asked himself a thousand times if it's worth it and after a thousand times he gave himself the illusion of choice: I will kill myself but I won't succumb to my misery, I'll just be too tired to keep living, it will be my choice. With Ivan (just like with bipolar disorder in general) it's all about control and it's something that hits very close to home to me to the point I had to stop reading to stare at the wall and go he gets it. He really does, this is a very common sentiment and experience among people with bipolar disorder and that's why it's sadly one of the mental disorders with the highest suicide rate (and most historical figures with bipolar disorder I know about actually did die by suicide). The constant up and down is exhausting and that's exactly the feeling Ivan's words gave me, he describes the bipolar experience so well I was genuinely impressed considering The Brothers Karamazov was written and is set in the second half of the 1800s, when psychiatry and psychology were just starting to be born. I think it's also important to mention that he doesn't really give himself much time either: he's only twenty-three and he set his own life to end at thirty. It's only seven years, but seven years can seem like an infinite amount of time when you have to deal with what we have to, especially if we consider my interpretation of Ivan and his childhood. What do I mean by that? I mean that this is about to get interesting (and kind of personal).

Now, in the past almost two-hundred years, no one has still figured out the exact cause of bipolar disorder as the exact mechanism behind it is still unclear (to the point we don't even know why the meds used to treat it work, we just know that for some reason they do) but it mostly comes down to two factors: genetic and environmental. It's usually a mix of the two and it's most likely that once again it varies between individuals, but a very common bipolar experience is the one of a traumatic and overwhelming childhood: many of us had to deal with a mentally ill parent growing up due to the genetic factor and many of us went through so much stress and trauma that the end result could be nothing but bipolar disorder. And this is where Ivan's character stumbles in: I think his protectiveness towards children and his impossibility to accept their suffering stem from his impossibility to accept his own traumatic childhood. Let's be clear, all four brothers had a traumatic childhood, but Ivan seems to be the one who's most impacted by it. Dmitri was abandoned by his mother at the age of three and his father forgot about him (just like he forgot about Ivan and Ivan also seems deeply affected by that considering how he reacts when Fyodor doesn't remember Aleksej's mother was also his own), Pavel never got to know his due to her death in childbirth, and Aleksej's only memories of his mother are fuzzy and dreamlike, which leaves Ivan as the only one who actually has clear memories of his mother: an ill woman who probably couldn't take care of him and his little brother properly because of that and who died young (very traumatic for a child); he probably still remembers her screams. There's a very well written post about how each brother was affected by their respective missing mother figure so I won't go into that because there's no need and it doesn't really fit in here, but I think this is a very important part of Ivan's life that also obviously reflects in his adulthood (again, I'll talk about it in the future), and that we have to take into consideration as an example of what kind of pain a child has to go through to turn out a certain way.

But why am I saying this? I'll be honest with you: mere projection. Ivan's words on the injustice of children's suffering resonated with me so much, especially in relation to his refusal to accept God's existence in a world that allows such things to happen. As you probably figured, I'm an atheist myself and I am for the same reasons he is. There's a quote by Sylvia Plath, who also had bipolar disorder: I talk to God but the sky is empty. I won't elaborate because I don't feel like this is the place, but I relate to it a lot and I think it's applicable to Ivan as well. Mind you that I'm not here to talk about religion, I mean no disrespect and I wouldn't have mentioned my atheism if it hadn't been relevant, so please don't say anything unnecessary about that.

My projection went even further when I realised that Ivan is young (we're the same age actually!), what business does he have to be talking like that? Why does he talk like that but his brothers don't? But I also talk like that so here's that and here's connecting the dots, as I started doing a couple paragraphs ago.

Symptoms of bipolar disorder on average start manifesting during early adulthood, which checks out because Ivan is twenty-three. But he already seems to have a lot of experience "on the field" and it's unusual for someone that age, so it got me thinking a lot, mostly about my own experience. I was "lucky" enough (I still haven't figured out if I'm being sarcastic or not, as it can be both a blessing and a curse, how ironic) to develop symptoms way earlier than the usual onset age of twenty-five, which led me to being diagnosed and starting treatment as a teenager (blessing, the earlier you start treatment the more effective it is on the long run), but which also means I was a terrified child fighting for my life on a daily basis (curse, for obvious reasons) and I thought that maybe Ivan's background could be similar to mine considering what I said earlier about his very strong feelings towards the suffering of children; it's still projection but at least it makes sense. I genuinely don't know how common this experience is, apparently cases like mine are quite rare (I've had this disorder for most of my life), so I guess I also take some sort of comfort in Ivan's character due to this.

And with that, we're done with both The brothers get acquainted and Rebellion, so where does this leave The Grand Inquisitor? As I said earlier, there isn't much to say about it in my opinion when it comes to the point I'm trying to make, but there is one particular thing that I noticed: Ivan thanks Alyosha for listening to him, he thanks him for caring. I found it very sweet but also quite sad and I think it's useful insight about how Ivan lives his life and his relationships with other people. If everything goes as planned, part three should be mostly focused on that and Ivan's particular (and partially self-inflicted) loneliness (which is also tied to how other people perceive him, I already mentioned that, I know) so I won't talk about it now. I also want to highlight that Ivan makes a joke! It's not the usual kind of joke he makes though, as we previously see that Ivan's humor consists mostly of taking the piss out of people he doesn't particularly like or agree with, this time he makes a lighthearted joke about his poem that isn't at the expense of anyone ("that's plagiarism") and he's even described as being delighted in that moment. I personally found that cute and I think we don't talk about this side of Ivan enough.

I'll stop here because I think I covered everything I wanted to regarding these particular parts of the book. I'm not completely satisfied with this, but I got stuck for days because it was a little hard for me to write this part, I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible because I had to treat matters I'm sensitive about (hence the slight change of tone between this and my other posts, I noticed and I hope it wasn't too depressing, I tried throwing in some humor here and there), so I wrote in as little sittings as possible and I barely gave this a couple rereads, sorry. It feels more emotional than part one, which is something I am not a fan of but I'm not surprised and there isn't much I can do about it (other than fix my own discomfort with human emotions I guess but I'm working on it). I wanted to write this but at the same time I didn't but there was no way for me to completely exclude my personal experience as it's the main reason why I saw what I saw in Ivan and I'm writing this essay in the first place, but please don't dwell too much on it. I managed to edit most of it out anyway but still.

I wanted to go over Ivan's implied problem with alcohol as well and also the comparison with Dmitri (I mentioned him at the beginning for this reason) because I see the two of them as being two sides of the same coin, but I didn't really know how to include them (I think I'll briefly talk about the former in one of the next parts but I'm not sure how or when) and then I realised these topics can be treated together (as I think they're related) in a separate and more elaborate post that is not part of this essay, so look forward to that (and the rest of this long ass thing).

#writing this was a pain in the ass because I had to Expose Myself to a certain degree and I hate doing that #but now that I'm done I can finally move on to the other parts of the essay that don't make me think about my own life #the brothers karamazov #ivan karamazov #bipolar ivan karamazov agenda #thoughts #mine

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icebear4president · 4 months

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Fluffy Omegaverse RusAme wip :)

His omega wants him here.

His omega trusts him.

“Okay, sunflower," he coos, kissing Alfred's cheek as he stood up, earning him a small happy purr. "What do you need? Anything you want."

“Just lay with me.”

Ivan immediately lowers himself onto the couch, but Alfred shakes his head, gesturing towards the bedroom. "Nest."

"Nest?" Ivan repeats, not sure he heard right. The omega is welcoming him in his nest. There are three people in the world he knows for a fact are welcome in Alfred's nest-Arthur, Matthew, and Kiku-and he had never imagined that he himself could ever be among those ranks.

Alfred nods, managing a little smile for him. "You can go in, just don't mess anything up too bad," he says, and if Ivan ever thought he understood what it was to love before, it was nothing compared to now.

Alfred had already plopped down on his bed, and was waiting expectantly for Ivan to join him. Ivan still hesitated, afraid this was a trick to make him put down his defenses. "Are you sure? Because it won't be my fault if you change your mind and decide to jump me."

Now that he thinks about it, it wouldn't be that bad if Alfred tried to attack him. It was a little hot, actually.

With an annoyed roll of his eyes, Alfred opened his arms for a wide embrace. "Yes, I'm sure. Now come cuddle me."

That sounded as good as a yes as any to Ivan, and he climbed in a little too eagerly. He pulls the omega gently to his chest, and he strokes his back and kisses his damp hair. His heart beats quickly, excitedly, but his alpha is calm telling him that this is where he belongs, what he is meant to be doing. He is meant to be here, with this omega. He loves him. He loves him. He loves him.

Alfred is still hot and feverish, but he still shivers gently in Ivan's arms. Seeing the usually energy-filled man so still, was uncomfortable for Ivan. "How are you feeling?" He asks in a quiet, comforting voice.

"Not good," Alfred mumbles into his chest. He doesn't look that good either. Poor, sweet omega. Ivan wants to find the asshole that caused this, and put him in the ground.

He vaguely wonders what people who would think of him if they say him, him who was usually so scary and notorious, snuggled up in a nest with his needy omega. He smiles to himself, not quite knowing why, but he decides it's just Alfred. Because even sick, the other man makes him smile.

When they had been silent for almost half an hour, Ivan thinks Alfred is asleep, until he feels a tugging on his sleeve. "Give me this," Alfred says, continuing to pull at it. "What's that?" Ivan asks, smiling in amusement. "You want my jacket, little omega?"

Alfred responds with another tug, this time baring his fangs slightly. "Give. Me. It." He demands.

Ivan chuckles and slides it off handing it to Alfred who snatched it away quickly. After careful consideration, the omega tucks it into his nest, right at the head, in the place of honor.

"There," Alfred preens, proud of his work. He curls back up again and closes his eyes, purring in content.

Ivan wraps him up tighter in his arms, determined not to let go. His omega wants him. His omega accepts him. He never wanted to leave.

#hws america #hws russia #rusame #amerus #hetalia

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crotchety-old-emu · 1 month

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OLITDP chapter 24 references

as i mentioned in my author's notes of the chapter, there's a few references that i would like to share with those who are interested in them. you don't need to know about them to understand what's going on in the story, obviously, but perhaps it's nice to have some visual aids to go with some of the things that are happening.

if you haven't read the latest chapter yet, and you want to remain spoiler free, it's best to skip this post (or perhaps come back to it later). you can find chapter 24 of our love is these days' piano here!

so here's a short list of things that might be interesting - but definitely not necessary - to know about chapter 24:

penelope's dress at the trowbridge ball is a silvery sea green. the one i had in mind was kind of like this one, from the season three behind the scenes pics. nicola looks stunning in green, especially with the red hair. i found beatrice knight's regency color compendium, a stunning overview of all the fashionable colours of fabric in the regency era, with some fantastic descriptions of how they were made and when they were worn. the willow/sea green colour shown on this page is exactly the hue i was picturing while writing.

lady trowbridge's decorations: i spent days and days researching how lady trowbridge might showcase her wealth and peculiar tastes during this ball, but honestly, i didn't find much info about ballroom decorations and i didn't want to make up things that definitely could not have happened. so i settled on things that i was already fairly certain of were pretty decadent for the era: pineapples and ice cream. after reading up on ice cream in regency times through several sources, i came across the website of ivan day, who is a food historian and has worked on some bbc regency costume dramas. he had a very insightful youtube video on how ice cream was made in those days. in it, he makes one of the ice cream pineapples i mention in the story. ivan day's actual website is under construction, but i found a photo of moulded ice groups, as they were presented in regency times, on another page which was taken from his. it includes ice cream shaped like a swan (which may have been parmesan flavoured, which apparently was a popular ice cream flavour back then).

another food decoration that both eloise and penelope mention is a flummery solomon's temple. i found out about these through watching the bbc documentary pride and prejudice - having a ball, which talks about accurate representation of balls during regency times on television. the part of the doc i'm linking to is the part where ivan day reveals a solomon's temple and explains that this would be a staple on all upper-class tables in those days. the white bits, if i'm not mistaken, are milk-flavoured, the brown is chocolate and/or coffee, the pink is coloured with cochineal.

he also has a page on solomon's temples on his blog, which has a very amusing short clip of how exactly these jellies moved. if you watch it (highly recommend), i'm sure you'll understand why eloise would think it was a good thing to comment on. ivan day himself describes it as:

Because it is made of flummery, which is a kind of opaque milk jelly, the central obelisk wobbles and cavorts in a most entertaining manner, while the four little cones shake, rattle and roll in a very naughty way.

the dance: i must have watched at least fifty different dances that were popular at the time - shoutout to regencydances.org, which not only has a very extensive list of dances, but also a youtube channel and animations showing what the dances would have looked like. i based penelope and anthony's dance on the northdown waltz - which granted, only became a thing from 1820 onwards, so it's technically an anachronism for them to be dancing it. it simply was the only dance that best fit with how i wanted the scene to go. you can find an instruction video on the northdown waltz here. anthony, in this case, would be the red rectangle, penelope the green ellipsis. here's a clip of actual people performing the dance, so you can kind of imagine what it would have looked like. i always knew anthony's confession would happen during a dance, my main inspiration for that was this scene from becoming jane. if you've seen the film, you undoubtedly know exactly which scene i'm talking about without even clicking the link. i remember that when i first saw this part of the film, i stopped breathing for a minute, because it was just such an intense moment, which was exactly what i wanted for anthony's big moment.

there you go, some insight into the tiny things mentioned in the latest chapter that you might perhaps enjoy knowing more about. hope at least some of you found it interesting!

also, i want to mention: i am not a historian, i don't claim that my fic is historically accurate, not in the very least. i try to stick to period-appropriate things, which i do as much research for as i can. but some mistakes will have slipped in there, i am very much aware. so if this is a particular pet peeve for some of the history buffs among you, i apologise.

#olitdp #our love is these days' piano #regency era #regency research #bridgerton fanfic #penthony #my writing #anthony bridgerton #penelope featherington

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clumsiestgiantess · 30 days

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Chapter 22 of The Other-world Universe; it’s villain time, baby! >:)

all chapters listed here

[Round two: Knockout]

A blaring horn woke me with an awful cacophony of noise. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep, but I was sure that there wasn’t an alarm clock for me in the other-world. “Ahh! What’s going on!?” I yelped, sitting up in an instant with my hands over my ears. “Finally, she’s awake,” an exasperated voice grumbled nearby. Looking to my left, I found a truck parked right beside where my head lay a moment ago. No wonder its horn had been so loud.

"Wh- Why are you here?" I asked Mr. Stoll as he paced a bit further away from me, "I thought you said I could have some time off." "Well, that was before I knew about this," he grumbled, messing with something in the truck. "We received a radio broadcast this morning. At first we thought it was more refugees, and in a way I guess it is, but.. well.. If I could just get this thing to-" I saw another figure inside the truck do something to the machine Marcus was messing with, and soon a harsh voice played out over a speaker system inside.

This is Nicholaus Albane, head overseer of the Inter-reality Multiuniversal Research Division. We know a human of our own size is with you. She has displayed extraordinary power. Unfortunately, it has been used against my scientists and has hindered my progress towards our goal. I cannot allow that to happen again.

There was a brief pause as static rippled over the radio. Anxiety built in my stomach, making me nauseous. If she is not present at our camp, or you fail to bring her to us at 34.5 degrees latitude and 28.4 degrees longitude… Terrified cries suddenly burst through the speakers — too faint to be anything but other-worldian. Everyone in this town will die. Then it will be your turn.

My message to the unnaturally-powered human: Do not resist. You can not overpower the twenty or so staff present here. Your tricks are amusing, but this isn't a game; no one's laughing. There are lives at stake. Come within the hour and the people here will be spared. If you don't show up, I can personally guarantee that after every one of those little creatures dies, you’ll be next. There was a sudden click, then the radio cut to static.

My stomach churned awfully as I realized what the scientist was saying. They were holding an entire town hostage just to capture me. If I came, they would undoubtedly drag me through a portal and lock me away somewhere, but if I fled, thousands would suffer the consequences. Before either of the other-world people could say anything, I promptly rushed into the woods behind me and threw up. There was too much going on, and way too suddenly; I was terrified. Everyone’s lives depended on me. But you already knew that. Their lives already have depended on you.

I desperately didn’t want to turn myself in. I.. can just.. leave. All I had to do was concentrate on a thought and I’d be home — far far away from anything here. The people from the portal wouldn’t be able to find me to punish me for not coming. But what would happen if I really left? I'd be leaving so many people to die if I did. I couldn’t do that. What kind of awful coward of a person would that make me? Not the kind I’m willing to be.

Eventually, I returned to the field where Mr. Stoll stood, slightly startled. The other person cautiously stepped out of the truck and looked up at me pityingly. It took me a moment to recognize it was Ivan. “We have no choice,” Mr. Stoll began, “We have to send you to their camp. Not to comply with their orders, of course. You’ll go there to fight them off with your gun, and whatever you need him for,” he said, nodding towards Ivan.

That’s right, with Ivan here I’ll have intangibility. I can escape with that. I took a shaky breath of air to calm myself and think straight. I have to at least try to help them. I don’t want anyone to die on my behalf. But if worst comes to worst, being intangible can help me avoid getting hurt or captured. “Alright,” I agreed solemnly, my voice shaking slightly. “I’ll go.”

Mr. Stoll immediately shoved a paper of sorts at Ivan and said something along the lines of ‘don’t screw this up’ to him. “This map has the camp’s location and the route there plotted on it already. The kid will take you.” “Wait, we’re leaving now?” I asked, confused. “I haven’t gotten ready. Erica isn’t here, and-” “They said come within the hour. Forget about her and get going,” Mr. Stoll growled the same time Ivan said “We don’t have time; we have to leave now.” I guess they were both right; I had to get there before it was too late, but I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of longing. I wanted Erica there. Her presence would be one small comfort in the midst of all the chaos, but there was no time.

Carefully, I let Ivan settle onto my hands before lifting him up to give me directions. I strode with as quick a pace as I dared with my small companion. Every once and a while he would give me new instructions. Otherwise, the trip was deathly silent. Fear and anxiety kept a capsule of quietness in the air at all times, only further increasing the tension.

My heart broke a little as I left sight of the Cavern Town. My magnetic sixth sense was pulling me back the direction I'd come. It was a somber trip, just me and Ivan wandering towards the faint smell of machinery and upturned earth that grew stronger with each step. The moment the scientist's camp appeared on the horizon, I hid nervously with my invisibility. If there had once been a town there, it was impossible to tell. The entire area had been cleared to stake the base of the scientist's tents.

What will they do to me if I’m taken? If this is how they treat defenseless strangers who aren’t even taller than their hands, I don’t want to know what might happen to me — the person who can possibly stop them from doing it. "Hey," Ivan said softly, looking up at the empty space where I'd been a moment prior. "I'm really sorry about all this. I don't think it's right for these people or mine to put this much pressure on you. The only reason I'm here is, well.. Ok, Mr. Stoll forced me to come to the field, but I came with you because I knew you would want your intangibility. Unfortunately for me, that means I need to tag along." Though I couldn't hear it, I felt him chuckle lightly, "In all honesty, I wanted you to have at least one reliable getaway plan, because I knew you'd be a lot more scared without one."

Despite our dire situation, I managed a small smile. Ivan actually cared about me; he wasn't here simply because Mr. Stoll or the overseeing scientist had frazzled him with the threat of annihilation. His presence guaranteed a small piece of safety for me, even if it was at the expense of his own.

I tried to calm my breathing like Erica had told me the last time I got scared by the scientists. "So, do we have a plan?" Ivan asked hesitantly. "Let me see if I can scout things out a bit closer. I am invisible, after all." “But I’m not...” he replied nervously. I thought for a moment, “I’ll have to stash you in my pocket, but I’ll be sure to let you out before I go intangible, alright?” Ivan nodded slowly, looking like he already regretted his decision to come along.

Slowly, I slid him into my pants pocket and headed silently towards the scientists’ camp. This one was a lot bigger than the previous setup I’d walked into when I first introduced myself. There were three large tents about 20 feet long set up in a row along a small river. On the other side was a huge tarp structure that looked like a circus tent, only it was a dead grayish-white color and seemed much more foreboding. As I slunk into the edges of the campground, I peeked under tent flaps as people walked between them.

The first tent held a plethora of strange machinery. There were towering sets of humming boxes that flashed with blinding light every so often, and racks of glowing tablets lined the back wall. Some things were still fairly recognizable, like a water dispenser and monitors showing the charted region of the land the scientists had discovered. I held back a shocked gasp and waited a moment for someone else to walk through to give me another look at the monitor. The amount of land pictured on the screen was worrying. Is that a map of the land they’ve discovered, or the land they’ve already taken for themselves? I hoped it was the former.

Moving on to the next tent, I found some sort of storage room piled high with crates. It was empty of people. These tents didn't seem all that impressive. If I wanted to find out what was really happening, I'd have to get over to the large tent on the other side of the river. I call it a river only because it would be that size to the other-world inhabitants. To me, it was easily traversable. The scientists hadn't even bothered to build a real bridge across. A few slabs of rubbery plastic material were thrown across it to form a path just wide enough for one person to walk over.

I couldn't go over the makeshift passage, though. If someone were to walk across at the same time, they'd probably bump into me, and there were people crossing it constantly. Workers zipped in and out of all the tents across the field. They weren't even donning the 'hazmat giant' attire, just plain clothing — like they were simply going about a normal job.

Once I made my way over the river with a large step, I crept up to the main tent's entrance. The tent flaps were held wide open, but I couldn't see much of what was happening inside. I waited until the coast was clear, then slipped through the empty opening. My mouth dropped open in shock as I took in the massive space. I thought they'd flattened the town that was here — cast it aside to make room for this camp — but that wasn't the case. The entire town was corralled in the large space beneath the tarp ceiling. It looked like a model train exhibition, or something similarly fake. I mean, who would corral a real city full of people behind a glass pen built for displaying things?

One quick glance around the gigantic room and I spotted eight or nine scientists working on various projects involving the town, which was fenced in on all sides by thick waist-high glass panes. There were divots for people to step into the town, and clearings where scientists could examine the buildings more closely. However, the barriers around the openings were still far too high for any other-worldians to even dream of getting over them.

I stepped over one of these openings and knelt down inside. I'd assumed the other-world people were caged up somewhere, lying in wait as bait for me. However, as I peered at the tiny town, I could see small figures dash by windows, boarding them up in an attempt to keep the giants out. Everyone and everything was left pristinely untouched by the scientists. I doubted it was out of kindness. They wanted a perfect replica to study, and that was all. The moment they finished whatever it was they were doing here, everything would probably either be torn down or taken away through a portal somewhere, never to be seen again. I shuddered at the images that drifted through my mind.

While I knelt there, one of the scientists wheeled a machine over and hooked it to a track that sat on the rim of the glass wall. After a few moments, it flared to life and began making a slow circle around the entire ring. What is that thing? I didn't have a clue what most of the scientists’ machinery did, but as the flat metal piece drifted in my direction, it let off a blaring alarm.

The scientist who'd placed it on the track examined it for a moment, then looked directly at me. I hesitantly stood up, unsure if I'd been spotted. They then called over a few of the others in the room, and soon everyone was staring at the invisible spot where I stood, looking back and forth between me and the machine. My pulse quickened; I could feel it in my chest. Easing my hand into my pocket, I slid Ivan out and hid him behind one of the buildings as soundlessly as I could. I had a feeling that I was going to need my intangibility soon. Suddenly, one of the scientists cried out. "It's her! The anomaly is here! Get the overseer!"

I slid into intangibility and raced out of the enclosure to an empty part of the tent as everyone stampeded out. As much as I didn’t want to get any closer to where the scientists would be, I really didn’t want to stay in the little town. I could all too easily flatten it trying to fight or run from the portal ‘giants’.

Just as quickly as the scientists fled, a new team of 'giants' appeared. This group wore distinctly armored clothing. A few were equipped with futuristic weapons that looked somewhat similar to rifles. There were a lot more people here than I thought. I turned hesitantly to visibility, but clung tightly to intangibility — latching onto Ivan so desperately I would’ve been clinging to him if he were still physically with me. The crowd parted, revealing a tall, thin man with taunt muscles and eyes that were unmistakably golden-yellow.

He sized me up for a moment, then smiled almost welcomingly. "I see you got my message," he observed, gesturing to my arrival. His voice was undoubtedly the same one I'd heard over the radio. The overseer looked between me and the captured town for a moment, then laughed haughtily. "You were trying to save these tiny creatures? How sad.." he mused, "That's just not going to happen. But you'll be joining them on their trip through the portal very soon." I tried to shake off his subtle threats and focus on what I came there to do. I had to put a stop to this.

I made my way in front of the captured town in a slow, decisive march, planting myself between the group of ‘giants’ and the glass walls behind me. “This isn’t right,” I announced to the crowd, “Trust me, I’ve been in denial myself. I didn’t even believe this world was real. But I know better now; these are real people, these are real lives you’re destroying. It has to stop. It’s not right for you to do th-” “That’s where you’re wrong,” the man from the radio cut in, putting a hand up to silence me.

“We have every right to be here. We discovered this world, so why shouldn’t we take it for ourselves?” I huffed, “But there are already people living here!” “Too bad for them,” he replied nonchalantly. “Do your people know the expression ’survival of the fittest’? Surrender or die? Kill or be killed? Don’t your people also claim land from others for themselves?” “Well.. yes,” I stuttered. “That’s all we’re doing,” he explained calmly. “So pick a side. Before we decide for you.” “But that’s not-!” “Pick. A. Side.”

I know who I’m going to stand with. I have to help the people of the other-world. But if this becomes an all-out war over land, am I ready to stand in the middle of it? I inhaled a deep breath to calm my nerves, steadying my position in front of the town. “I’ve already made my decision,” I remarked coldly. The cruel overseer only sneered. He turned swiftly on his heel and stepped to the threshold of the tent. “Capture her,” he ordered, “and slaughter the town.”

The tent became a blur of motion as the group fanned out. Some people headed into the town through the glass openings, while others advanced towards me. I pulled out of intangibility and grabbed my new weapon — immediately firing at the people who tried to attack the captured town. Dodging the oncoming shots, I rushed around the side of the glass barrier. I flinched as bullets of glowing hot metal stuck fast in the glass. Thankfully, the enclosure barrier seemed thick enough to protect me.

As the three people with weapons reloaded, I quickly switched to multi-shot mode and decimated one side of the glass wall to allow everyone from the other-world a potential escape. Turning on my pursuers, I fired off another round and they all scrambled out of the way as explosions tore open the sides of the tent. The other ‘giants’ clearly hadn’t anticipated that I could fight back with a weapon of my own.

Someone gave a signal and those without weapons disappeared out of the torn opening. As I held off the rest of the group, a flood of other-world townspeople made their way out the shattered hole in the barrier. Tearing open the side of the tent with a few explosive shots of my gun, I followed the group from behind, still facing my oncoming attackers.

Once everyone evacuated outside, the ‘giants’ tried to surround us, but I stopped them with a shield smoke bomb. By the time the haze cleared, I’d cast a protective dome over the whole group, trapping them inside. Just as I turned back to the other-world civilians, a keening noise split the air — sounding like a higher-pitched gunshot. I flinched expecting to be hit, but nothing happened. Then, a shocked cry echoed inside the barrier.

Turning back around, I saw one of the people lying on the ground inside. They’d tried to shoot the barrier to escape with a smaller firing weapon, but the bullet, or whatever the weapon shot, had ricocheted off the wall and hit him instead. The others inside began panicking as they realized that there was no way out. Before I could address either of my problems, another one emerged.

The group that had left earlier returned, armed with lightweight shields and more of those strange futuristic guns. I fired off a few quick blasts as the new group charged me, shields raised. My light bullets seemed to have no effect on the shield material. The force of the multi-shot explosion caused my attackers to falter, but that was all.

I put the gun away and went intangible and invisible. Come on Alexis, think! What else can you do to- Oh! Of course, my abilities! Racing forwards, I began taking them out one by one, using invisibility to attack unexpectedly and intangibility to dodge anything they threw at me. I was doing fairly well until one of the ‘giants’ figured out my strategy. He slid past my invisible arm as I aimed my weapon, grabbed it, and threw me to the ground, knocking it out of my hands. I lay there stunned, shock chasing away the powers I'd clung to a moment prior. The force had knocked all the air from my lungs and all the thoughts from my head.

Gasping for breath, I couldn’t stop two of them from hoisting me up to drag me off. When they did, I was able to see the group of other-world people I’d saved, giving me some much-needed encouragement. The Cavern Town truck fleet had arrived. All of the survivors were being loaded onto the vehicles, headed safely back to the protected town in the valley. Despite my dire situation, I’d managed to save them.

My body surged with new life once I realized that my job was complete. I slid into intangibility so I could escape the men's grasp. However, they still held me fast. What’s worse, they’d also seen the other-world civilians escaping. I tried again to switch over to intangibility, but I realized that I had been dragged too far away from Ivan or anyone else I could latch on to; I had no way to get out. Panicked, I jabbed one of them in the ribs as hard as I could. He let out a surprised yelp of pain, and I tried to writhe my way out of the second person’s grasp, but it was no use. The second man stuck his leg out beneath me just as I broke away, and I fell face first into the ground.

Blood dribbled out of my nose, but before I could do so much as wipe it away, I was dragged upwards again. I thrashed in their grasp, but it only earned me a violent kick to the stomach, sending me right back into the dirt. My fight to escape became a desperate animalistic struggle. After a few more escape attempts where I was immediately thrown back to the ground, the butt of one of the men’s rifle-like weapons struck the side of my head — ending my struggles. I was still half conscious, but my vision had gone black for a few minutes as the men continued dragging me off.

Once I could see and think again, I glanced back over my shoulder to see the other-world people. The caravan was speeding away. I'd distracted everyone enough that they no longer cared about them, but I noticed with a pang of terror that I'd almost been dragged all the way to the river crossing. One of the tents on the other side had a portal inside it.

Digging my heels into the ground, I tried desperately to get away. If I could just find anyone to latch onto, I could escape. However, I could barely stand anymore. All I could do was try to slow my captors down, but that was starting to annoy them. Finally, after my fourth or fifth attempt to get free, the man I’d hit turned on me. His hands suddenly wrapped around my neck with a crushing grip on my throat. I gasped fearfully, clawing at his fingers. Faintly, I heard the other person comment: “We’re supposed to bring her back alive, Rowan.” “I’m just putting her to sleep,” he growled in reply as more pressure forced my windpipe closed. Seconds away from passing out, I thought ruefully of my family back home — how they’d never know I died here. The force on my throat vanished, and I fell onto carpeted flooring.

It took me a long while to recover enough to figure out what happened. My thoughts had taken me home. The house was empty. I vaguely remembered my family planning to go somewhere without me after I turned them down.

I sobbed in relief, hesitantly sitting up from my spot on the floor. How am I so stupid? I chided myself internally, I could’ve escaped to my world any time I wanted! Laughing numbly at my mistake, I yelped at the pain it caused me. I couldn't make a single noise without my throat closing up or burning like it had been rubbed raw. Slowly, I got up, nearly stumbling back down to the ground, but I grabbed a nearby chair for support. I made my way to the basement kitchenette and gulped down water. It hurt my throat, but I was desperately thirsty. After my more primal needs had been taken care of, my adrenaline high wore off, and I quickly spiraled into fearful recognition.

The scientists, the townspeople, the hostages — it was all too much. I had barely escaped with my life even with my gun and my powers. The people from the portal world attacked in a group too big for me to handle; I couldn’t defend myself from all of them at once. My first fight was a fluke. I only won because the scientists hadn’t expected me. This time, they called me there. This time, they wanted me to fight them. I should’ve known that they’d figured out a way to subdue me. I’d only escaped because I remembered I could return to my own world with a thought. If it had taken any longer, I would’ve been choked unconscious — stolen away to the scientists’ world. And Erica had to watch everything happen.

I saw her out of the corner of my eye after getting thrown painfully onto my back during the fight. She stood in the middle of the field, closer to me than the group of fleeing other-worldians but still far enough away that none of the soldiers could easily get her — staring in horror as I was thrown down again and again. Weak and barely able to stand, I fell onto the couch feeling like I was dying. Maybe I am dying. I would disappear from the other-world never to be seen again. Everyone would think I abandoned them, but in reality, I was just dead.

For a few hours, I lay on the couch in agony, finally managing to get up for some pain reliever across the room before heading right back to lay down some more. I can’t fight the people from the portal. I have no choice but to leave. I’ll run away and never go back. The other-world residents can’t convince me to return if they can’t get to me. My stomach sunk with guilt, but I reasoned that if I went back to fight, I would either get kidnapped, end up dead, or both.

Wait, I can’t leave Erica! I’d already made the mistake of abandoning her along with the other-world. I’ll have to separate the two… I’ll have to take her with me. Surely she’ll also want to get away from her apocalyptic world. Especially now that the 'giants' are on the path of destruction. I moved to lay on my side, staring at the empty spot where the table once stood. The noises of my family returning home sounded from the floor above me. My dad came down to see me, so I hurriedly covered as much of myself as I could with a blanket, trying to hide all my injuries. I made an excuse that I wasn't feeling well, and he left me alone. I was internally shocked at how sick I actually sounded. My throat was still rugged after the forced attempt to squeeze it shut.

Several hours later, after the pain subsided to something more tolerable, I returned to the Cavern Town. Well, a cutoff of the valley near the Cavern Town. I couldn’t bear to go back there and be expected to keep protecting it.

Sitting there in subtle secrecy, I thought through what I would say to Erica once she undoubtedly found me. My brain kept thinking in circles from I can’t leave to I have to leave over and over again. About a half-hour later, I felt Erica’s presence begin to get closer. Sure enough, a lone truck turned down the cutoff to face me, stopping just short of where I sat. Erica stepped out and looked me over, agony distorting her features. Both of us faced eachother in silence before she finally spoke.

“Alexis, I’m so sorry…” I shook my head, stopping her from saying much else. “Don’t apologize Erica, none of this is your fault. It’s neither of ours.” “You-” “I’m leaving.” “What?!” She blanched, stepping towards me slightly, almost pained. “I- I mean I understand why, but.. You’re really leaving?” "Yes. I can't keep living here like this. I'm leaving, and I'm taking you with me." Erica suddenly halted in her gentle approach. "Wait, but.. this is my world, my home. I don't know if I can just.. run away with you."

"Of course you can! It's not like you have anything left here to care about. Just come with me, then we'll both be safe!" I begged. Erica's expression clouded over in a mixture of emotions that passed so quickly I couldn't read them. "And what then?" she asked tiredly, "I can't live in a world that's at least thirty times my size. You get to go back to your normal life, but what about me?" I flinched as I heard more trucks heading down the cutoff. "Please, we’ll figure it out later, but we have to go now." I reached out to scoop Erica up, but she sidestepped my outstretched hand and backed away. "No! Stop it! You can't just grab me and take me off to your world, that's kidnapping!" Clouds of dust sprawled out near the entrance to my little ravine. The trucks were almost there, I had to run before they forced me to stay. Anxious to flee the world and its people, I cornered Erica with both hands and held her tight — disappearing quickly into the air just as the trucks came into view. The next thing I knew, I was kneeling in the basement, Erica still trapped in my hands.

#Alexis… you poor thing #she has no clue how to fight #weapons and powers can only get her so far #have fun with the cliffhanger :)#g/t #giant/tiny #other-world universe

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waffles-are-nice · 1 year

Text

Childhood dreams I have yet to outgrow.

“I’m going to marry you!” The young boy shouted, the boy short black hair and black eyes that reflected the night-sky was absolutely smitten for the boy in-front of him.

Till paused in-front of Ivan his eyes widening and a harsh blush filling his face. His eyes started to looked around before speaking up, “Me..?” Till knew there was no one else around but he couldn’t believe what he was hearing come out of Ivan’s mouth. Ivan nodded quickly before running up to Till and grabbing his cheeks the pulling them.

“S-Stop it you bastard” Till whined putting his hands on Ivan’s wrists pulling on them trying to loosen Ivan’s grip. In return Ivan wrapped his free hand around Tills waist and pulled him closer “who else would I have been talking to. I will never stop this either it’s way too fun” Ivan laughed finding Tills reaction to be more than amusing.

If only things had stayed as simple as that with the passing of time. Such a simple memory from Ivan’s childhood that stuck out.

‘If only we could’ve stayed 5 forever’ Ivan thought to himself. He stood behind a tree watching Till closely wondering what he was doing. Then watching Till turn towards him and outstretch his hand made Ivan’s heart skip a beat. Ivan grabbed Tills hand and intertwined their fingers together, he studied Tills face carefully when doing this wanting to savor every moment he had with Till.

Ivan watching as Tills short white hair moved against the wind, how his teal eyes widened as Ivan held his hand. All Ivan wanted was to make Till his, he felt nothing but pure adoration and desire for Till. A soft smile started to form on Ivan’s face as he watched Till look at Ivan with confusion then annoyance.

“Why do you always watch me, you know you could just walk up to me” Till stated in an annoyed voice as he retracted his hand away from Ivan. Ivan then pinched Tills cheek “Because I love you” Ivan said muttering under his breath, a solemn look spreading across his face.

“Huh?”

“Nothing” Ivan then took his hand off Till, stepping back he looked around for a moment wondering what he could possibly say to make this situation more interesting. As Ivan was lost deep in thought he just had a look of endearment as he happened to be staring at Till.

“Why are you staring at me like that? It’s weird.” Despite Ivan being this way since they were kids Till couldn’t help but find it odd. Till has always been blissfully unaware of the fact Ivan still had feelings for him 12 years later.

Till has always been considered to be sensitive and timid by the people he knew but in Ivan’s eyes Till was a creative and hotheaded person. This was quite the contrast in how Till was seen which too many others would think the thought of Till being hotheaded was impossible.

Ivan finally snapped back to reality and his look of endearment turned into one of confusion “What do you mean? I wasn’t staring at you but… if you want me to I can” Ivan got closer to Till and leaned towards him. Till put his hand on Ivan’s face and pushed him away.

Ivan let out a overdramatic groan and grabbed Tills wrist pulling Tills hand off his face and to the side. “You know you can be real mean to me sometimes.” Ivan stated in a plain voice as he pulled his body away from Till.

Till looked away from Ivan that annoyed look on his face having yet to change. The feeling of Ivan grabbing Tills wrists made him flustered. Ivan took immediate notice of Tills flustered face and grinned. Ivan then squeezed Tills wrist a little making Till jump.

“What are you doing? Let go of me.” Tills voice became agitated, it was clear he was getting more and more tired of Ivan’s teasing behavior.

“What if I don’t want to?” Ivan said in a singsong like voice, he took great pleasure in teasing Till even if it was just to get a reaction out of him. Sure it wasn’t the nicest thing to do but they’ve known each other for years so surely it’s not that bad.

“Ivan seriously I need to work this isn’t funny.” Till whined once more pull his wrists away from Ivan which in turn made Ivan tighten his grip around Tills wrists. Ivan’s face dropped from being happy to an almost flat expression but there was still the faintest smile on Ivan’s face. Ivan’s voice became strident as he spoke “and? I want to spend time with you. Work is unimportant.” Ivan then pushed Till onto the ground, hovering above him, his face only a few inches away from Tills as he placed his hands on each side of Tills body.

Till found Ivan’s behavior to be incredulous, this wasn’t something Ivan usually would do. Till knew all of Ivan’s odd behaviors such as watching him, having no concept of personal space, and being overly protective of him but this? This was new. Till let out a small gasp as his body hit the floor, he grabbed onto Ivan’s shirt sleeve and pulled on it.

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Till basically screamed at Ivan, he didn’t appreciate the fact Ivan did this at all. Ivan’s pushiness had always been something that annoyed Till but it had never been this bad.

“What do you think? If you can’t move then I get to stay with you.” Ivan’s voice became more rough as he held Till down. Ivan was desperate for Tills attention due to Till being preoccupied the past couple of days.

“Are you seriously that desperate right now? This is ridiculous Ivan. I need to finish my composition by tomorrow. I’ve been cramming the past couple days for this. Can you just let go of me?” Till got visibly angry by this point, his eyes darting around to find some way to get Ivan off him.

“Make a deal with me? I get to stay with you and then you get to work. How about that?” Ivan’s voice became less harsh and more clear as he spoke. He slowly got off Till.

“Fine” Till sighed defeatedly, he knew that saying no would just worsen the situation and Till would’ve still been trapped between Ivan’s arms if he disagreed.

Time had passed after that interaction and they were at Tills house. Ivan had been sitting across the room watching Till strum away on his guitar trying to make some sort of melody that didn’t sound like a disaster.

Ivan was lost in thought as he watched Till. He couldn’t help but think of old times between them. Every moment that Ivan was with Till he felt his heartbeat stronger and stronger as of his chest was about to burst open.

Ivan wanted Till so much but knowing it was unlikely Till felt the same way especially since that fateful night so many years ago.

Reminiscing on the night when Ivan and Till decided to run away from their so called home as children. Remembering the way Tills eyes lit up under the night sky as the meteors fell into the atmosphere and burned up. These memories filled Ivan’s heart with love even though it was so long ago. Yet at the same time he couldn’t help but feel heartbroken remembering the same fateful night.

The memory of Tills hand slipping from Ivan’s as they ran through the field, the look of doubt and worry that has filled Tills face in that moment as he turned and ran back not wanting to leave the girl he had a crush on as child behind.

Ever since then Ivan hasn’t tried to tell his feelings to Till, all could do was hope that one day Till would notice Ivan’s feelings on his own accord.

Ivan hadn’t notice that he had started crying due to how he was so lost in thought that the world around him had might aswell not been there at all. Till noticed thought he looked up from his guitar with worry that clouded his face.

“Ivan… are you okay?” Till spoke in a gentle tone as if he was comforting a child even though he didn’t view Ivan as a child seeing him cry did remind him of one. Till hasn’t often seen Ivan cry so it did take him by surprise. Till stretched out his hand and put on Ivan’s shoulder.

Ivan looked up at Till not noticing he was still crying he put his hand on his cheek feeling his dampened face. Ivan was particularly sad but did know that if he pushed a bit he could probably get Tills affection. “I’m fine I guess I was just thinking too hard about some things.” Ivan’s voice was quiet and solemn. He smiled a tiny bit as he looked into Tills eyes.

“Oh what were you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing but may I sit next to you?”

“Sure.”

Ivan stood up and then sat on the bed next to Till, he leaned over and placed his head on Tills shoulder as a couple more tears fell down his face. Till just smiled softly as he felt a strange warmth in his chest for the first time in his life.

Till went back to silently strumming away on his guitar and occasionally looking at Ivan to make sure he was okay. Ivan had closed his eyes as he slumped a bit more against Tills body, for Ivan being this close to Till meant the world to him.

He could only hope a moment like this would last forever.

“I still want to marry you” Ivan whispered as he fell asleep next to Till.

Till heard his words and felt his body go haywire, he just stopped everything he was doing and looked at Ivan, his eyes widening and a blush completely covering his face. All Till could manage to do was like out the faintest ‘huh’

Even 12 years later Ivan wanted to marry Till. Till remembered how since they were 5 all the way until they were 8 about how Ivan would go on and on about how he wanted to marry Till.

‘How could I forget that?’ Till thought to himself as he placed his guitar beside him and wrapped his arms around Ivan in a warm embrace.

“Goodnight Ivan…”

#alien stage #alien stage till #alien stage ivan #fanfic #otp #my brain feels like mush

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maestro04yayyy · 1 month

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Here is a little one shot i just finished writing while on the train!!!! (There might be some grammar error or misspell since I wrote on my phone)

Chloe opened the door of her classroom with a yawm.

Maybe spending the night playing pokemon had been a bad idea but she had bet with juleka that she would have a complete shiny living dex before the end of the year, and she WILL win this, the reward was just too good to fail.

And sleep is for the weak anyway, so Chloe slowly walked toward her seat and as soon as she was sat she took out her nintendo from her purse and started playing again before class started.

Sabrina gave a curious look so Chloe nodded her head toward Juleka, who was chatting with Rose and Ivan at her desk at the end of the room, while restarted the fight against against oh-oh for the 3 thousand two hundred seventeenth times, yes she is keeping count, also yes finding shiny legendaries is ridiculously hard.

The redhead nodded in understanding and started to watch her friends fail again and again to find a digital animal with a slightly different color with an amused smile.

"What's the bat and the reward this time?" Sabrina asked.

Chloe restarted the fight again while answering," have a shiny living dex before the end of the year, as for the reward it's a week long sleepover/date at the liberty" chloe's voice got more excited on the last part.

Sabrina tilted her head in confusion, "Don't you live there already basically?"

Chloe pouted, " yes, but every two or three days I have to go back and sleep at the hotel otherwise daddy would get worried"

Sabrina laughed," like you actually sleep, i a.pretty sure you have sugar and coffe instead of blood now"

Chloe laughed too.

Ms. Bustier arrived and a moment later dupain-cheng and class started, Chloe managed to play pokemon even during class but got caught when she finally catched the shiny bird and cheered loudly.

That's why she is now alone in the classroom, she got detention, she could have avoided it but was in a good mood and arguing with her ridiculous teacher would have spoiler it, but it was worth it and she saved the game before bustier took her console.

Chloe heard footsteps and the door opening, revealing her girlfriend.

She immediatelly jumped to her feet and rushed to her.

"JUJU!!!" She cheered right before hugging her.

"Chlobear" juleka laughed as she hugs her princess back, "what got you so excited in class?" She asked while starting to run her finger in the golden hair of the shorter girl, caressing them and her head.

Chloe delighted by the touch smiled even more rubbing her head a little against the goth's chest and a happy squeal escaped from her throat.

"I found a shiny oh ho!!!!! I am on my way to victory now" she said triomphaly.

Juleka chuckled softly, it was quiet and easy to miss but chloe loved it more than her own life.

"Yes you are chlobear" she said gently with a little smile before walking toward a desk amd sat down, it was a little hard walking with chloe clued to her and demanding her all of her attention, like the excited and spoiled puppy she was, but she as long since mastered that skill.

So now that juleka sat chloe made sure to snuggle herself on her legs, back agaisnt her chest while she tried to look up at her and rest head on her shoulder.

Juleka chuckled again and petted her girl.

"You are a good girl" juleka whispered softly to her ears before kissing her head.

Chloe could feel herself melt at this word and just smiled happily in her girlfreinds arms, too tired and content to do anything but enjoy the attention.

"You are the best girl, chlobear" juleka said again and this time kissed her just next to the lips making chloe whine a little.

She laughed softly again and then kissed her lips while whispering

"I love you".

#miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #juleka couffaine #chloleka #also i wanted it to end with bustier entering the room #with an embarrassed juleka #and a chloe demanding more kisses #but i couldn't not stop at the i love you #but if you want to can imagine that little extra scene #it's your homework from me #also pretty please tell me if it's good or bad #i am don't know

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kanerallels · 6 months

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I promised @laughingphoenixleader that I would post this, so have a little story, beloved friend! Featuring a new OC that my girl @accidental-spice came up with!

“Kyle, DARLING!”

Kyle managed, shockingly, not to flinch at the ominously familiar, sing-song voice. Looking up briefly from his paperwork, his worst suspicions were confirmed at the sight of a tall woman, elegantly dressed, her hair dyed in vibrant streaks of blue and pink.

“Gloria,” he said evenly. “How was Belgium?”

Gloria Bartlett— undercover agent extraordinaire when she wasn’t Kyle’s partner— took a seat on the corner of Kyle’s desk, smiling widely. “Fabulous. Tried some waffles, took a tour of a few churches, and shot some people. How’s home been?”

“It’s been fine,” Kyle said, redirecting his attention to the paperwork in front of him.

“Really? Just fine? Honestly, Kyle, you never give me any proper descriptions of things. What all happened? Is Andersen eating properly? Did Maryeme’s youngest get that part in the play? And what’s Ivan been up to?”

Without looking up, Kyle said, “More or less, yes, and he’s still single.”

“Rude,” Gloria huffed with annoyance. Kyle ignored it— everyone knew that Gloria and Ivan were head over heels for each other. With, of course, the exception of Gloria and Ivan. Kyle had long since elected to stay out of it. “Well, are there any cases I should know about?”

Kyle opened his mouth to tell her no— and then stopped. Because she was one of Andersen’s top agents, and his partner. So, technically, if anyone should know about this, it was her.

But he really, really didn’t want to tell her about it. And by it, he meant Kate.

Unfortunately, Gloria caught his hesitation, and arched an eyebrow at him. “Something you’d like to share?”

“We found an informant on Alban.”

Gloria’s eyes widened.

She’d been there, right next to him, when Andersen had found his family dead by Derek Alban’s hand. His wife and two daughters, killed brutally. Kyle shuddered internally at the memory. They both knew what catching Alban meant to Andersen.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Tell me as much as you can.”

Kyle paused, collecting his thoughts. “Kate Davis. She’s a thief who was in a relationship with him. But he abandoned her after we caught her robbing one of the local senators.”

Nodding, Gloria said, “Good for her.”

“Not exactly,” Kyle said, “but I’m not going to argue that point with you right now. She’s given us a lot of intel on some of his previous crimes, and his hideouts. It’s turned out pretty well for us. We haven’t caught him yet, but we’ve brought in several of his men, caught a mole in the department, and we’re close to catching up with him.”

Gloria grinned. “That’s fabulous news. Then why so hesitant?”

She would notice that. “Um. It’s complicated. Kate is— that is, I—”

“Good afternoon, Gloria.”

Andersen’s mild voice cut through Kyle’s stammering, and they both looked up to see their boss holding a mug of tea. “I take it Kyle’s giving you his news?”

“He’s trying to,” Gloria said, side-eyeing Kyle.

Chuckling, Andersen said, “Cut him some slack. Telling you he got married while you were gone can’t be easy.”

Oh boy. Kyle winced as Gloria’s jaw dropped.

“You did WHAT? Wait— oh, wow. Oh, stars. Kyle, did you fall in love with a criminal?”

“No,” Kyle said, his voice sharper than it should have been. “It’s not like that, she needed help.”

“So you married her?” Gloria said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “So logical.”

“It’s not—” Kyle cut himself off, taking a deep breath. “Okay. I’m going to explain this to you in three sentences, and then you’re going to go away and let me finish my paperwork.”

“I will make no such promise. But give it a shot.”

“She’s pregnant with Derek Alban’s child.” Kyle saw Gloria’s eyes go wide, and continued. “She didn’t want him to find out and use the baby as leverage, so I offered to pretend to be the baby’s father, and marrying her is what I would do if it was real. Now please go away.”

Gloria stared at him, her mouth open, for a long moment. Then, hopping to her feet, she said, “I see where this is going. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go ask Ivan and Maryeme for the tea about this situation. Later.”

“Gloria—” Kyle groaned as she sailed away, looking delighted. Well, that can’t possibly go badly.

#kyvis #kyle chambers #gloria barlett #my ocs #writing stories is a kind of magic too

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spaceflower07 · 10 months

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a moment in their lovestory! honestly i dont have a too solid story for them yet😭 like,,, there's so many options. BUT SO FAR:

Ivan's the prince. He led an extremely hard life (he started out as a middle child with two parents, but now is an only child with just a father💀) Alfred is a peasant, not even a middle class peasant he's one of those who live in the slums. He led a similar life to Ivan until their village was raided. The children were scattered, so a now-orphan Alfred had to raise Matthew AND support them. Afred turned to a life of assassination to make money along with doing several odd jobs (which is why he's so insanely strong, even tho he doesnt rlly look it) One day Al is hired to assassinate the prince, but Ivan spotted him and they got into a huge brawl, which ended in Alfred setting off a smoke bomb and running away. He had actually landed a hit on Ivan, which surprised the prince so no one had been able to do that for years. Ivan, not knowing how to be a normal human being, became really interested in this person who tried to kill him. So far, his life has been really boring. It was just studying and training over and over since the day he was born. Alfred had shaken up his life so he became interested, but not in the romantic way, he was just amused by him. Alfred, on the other hand, hated him. During the fight Ivan had taunted him sadistically, and that made Alfred furious. He had only run away bc he was called back to headquarters. Ivan thought about Alfred for a while when, out of nowhere, the boy was placed in the palace.

Apparently, Alfred had a new mission, which was to assassinate the King instead because they got info that the King was planning to invade Hearts. Back then, Spades was one of the weakest Kingdoms, so they would definitely get crushed by Hearts and it would cause a lot of casualties along with a very unnecessary war. So Alfred had to work in the palace as Ivan's 'bodyguard' which Ivan enjoyed tremendously because now he got to annoy him even more and as a plus, get to be his boss. Alfred extremely hated this, and wanted to get the mission done with asap so he could get away from Ivan. But the more they spent time together, they started to hate each other less and less to the point that Ivan fell in love with him. After finding out that Alfred still worked jobs outside the palace for Matthew's tuition (which is the picture above) Ivan offered to pay for it instead. Alfred tried to refuse but Ivan didn't budge. Alfred was in love with him too but was in absolute denial. Plus, he couldn't afford to have feelings for him, bc once he killed the King Alfred would stop working at the palace and be taken back to Krasny. Keeping this in mind, Alfred had to reject Ivan when he confessed. He couldn't explain that he was an assassin since it was supposed to be secret, so he said, "I just can't."

Alfred's boss keeps tabs on him, so when he found out that the prince had confessed to Alfred he told him to distance himself from Ivan because it was starting to become a distraction, and to start focusing on his mission because the deadline was a few weeks away (thats when the King is planning to invade). The King never makes any sort of appearance, and is holed up in his chamber 24/7, the only time he'll come out is when he announces his plan to the Kingdom. Alfred had considered sneaking into his chamber and killing him there, but the security was extremely tight and it would be completely impossible for Alfred to sneak inside. Ivan had also been working to stop his father, as he had found the documents about his plan. Alfred's goal is to kill him, while Ivan's goal is just to stop him. So while Alfred is sneaking around trying to find any weak spots in their security, Ivan is sneaking around gathering information about the plan. Alfred's sneaking around had not gone unnoticed by the ever-observant Yao, who confronted him about it. Not in a I'm-going-to-kick-you-out way but in the curious way bc Yao also hates the King. When Alfred gave up and told him his real purpose for being here, Yao started helping him gather information and had supplied the most important one of all; the King had been building a bomb that was enough to wipe out at least half of the Hearts Island. Ivan had seen the documents already so he knew about the bomb as well, he had tried to stop the making of it but to get inside the room requires his father's physical identification.

The three of them were anxious and lost on how to go about doing this. The only way to stop the making of the bomb at this point is to kill the King, but by the time the King comes out of his chamber, the bomb and the war is ready to go. The deadline was ticking closer, and the pain of the confession was still eating up Alfred and Ivan which made them feel even worse. Then Yao told them that he overheard the guards saying the King is leaving his quarters to go somewhere 'private'. The two went to follow the King, who was wearing a hood. They followed him all the way to the middle of a forest. Right before he was going to enter a cave, both Alfred and Ivan jumped at him, ready to kill, shocking each other and causing them to collide into the King. They pointed at each other accusingly but they were speechless and unable to say anything, then Alfred noticed that the King was crawling away so he abandoned the 'conversation' and grabbed him, but in doing so, the hood came off and revealed a completely different person, definitely not Ivan's father. The two of them were shocked, and Alfred shook him violently "Who are you!?" Apparently he was a guard that was ordered to just wander off as far as possible. The two of them were confused, then Ivan's phone rang. Yao was hysterical, he told them to come back because it was a fake-out and that wasn't the real King, then he gets cut off with a muffling sound, a crash sound, a static noise, then the call stops completely.

The two of them look at each other then bolt back into the forest; while they were running Alfred explained that he was an assassin and that's why he was after the King. Before Ivan could say anything, Alfred spoke first, "But nevermind that, there are more important things right now." so Ivan just stayed quiet. They get back to the palace, and Ivan's gut tells him to go somewhere specific, so he leads them to the bomb room, which was suspiciously open. They rushed inside, ending up in a control room. The King was standing at the window, where there was a massive bomb. Next to him, Yao looked like he could barely stay conscious and his wrists were bound.

The King reveals that he knew all along what the two of them were up to, and that he was tired of them meddling in his plan. Because of their high-alert sneaking around, the King couldn't properly execute his plan so he had to lure them away, which didn't work either because Yao is "such a blabbermouth" but he told them it didn't matter anymore, because while they were gone he had finally completed the bomb and was going to eject it now. Alfred asked what about the announcement, and the King said he was never going to announce anything, it was another fake-out so that whoever is planning to stop him will wait until his 'announcement' but by then they would be too late, which would've worked (again) if it weren't for Yao. Ivan asked why he was doing all this, why he was suddenly wanting to invade Hearts. The King said that the Kingdom was bankrupt because he had been pocketing so much money and that money was gone now too, so he was going to invade Hearts to raid them. Ivan was baffled at how stupid his plan sounded and said that would never work because even if they got their hands on their money/resources they would hardly be able to use it before Hearts destroys them. The King told him to shut up, at this point he had a crazy expression. He said he was going to do this and there was nothing they could do to stop him then he pressed a button, which activated the timer for five minutes.

While he had been monologuing, the drug he used on Yao was wearing off, so he was now lucid. After piecing together what was happening, Yao stepped on the king's foot, causing him to yelp and let go of Yao. Yao, despite his size, was very strong, so he managed to hold down the King and gag him. He then yelled at the two to go find a way to deactivate the bomb before the timer went off. The two of them rushed out of the control room, they circled the bomb, trying to find its panel, but they took too long and the timer went off. Panicking, the two of them held onto the bomb as it flew away. While onboard the bomb, Alfred discovers a panel that changes the course of the bomb. He quickly works to alter the course, and while Ivan watches he suddenly asks that if Alfred is an assassin sent to kill his father, then was getting close to Ivan all part of his plan? Alfred is shocked and says no, and that it wasnt part of his plan at all. Alfred admits that he didn't want to reject Ivan, but he had to bc if he said yes it would just hurt the both of them more, because whether or not the assassination succeeds, they would still end up not seeing each other again. Ivan is surprised and asks (for clarification) why he didn't want to reject him. Alfred says its because he's in love with him, and that in these past few months he's never been happier. Ivan says 'Then, if we get out of this alive, would you go out with me?' Alfred says, "Are you kidding me? Of course! But first, we should make sure we do get out of this alive."

Alfred finishes successfully changing the course, making it head towards a volcano. He said they have to jump now unless they wanted to explode alongside the bomb. They jumped down into the ocean and watched as the bomb dropped into a volcano and exploded. Yao, who had put trackers on them before they went to follow the fake King, tracked them down in a helicopter and picked them up. Once they got back they are told that the King will be held in a mental asylum and that the Jack, General Winter (the person who had actually raised Ivan), would rule the Kingdom as a regent until they were of age. Currently, the two of them are 15 (Alfred) and 16 (Ivan). They spend the next three years getting closer and training together to be the new King and Queen.

#pov ur too scared to render so you do black and white #cardverse #hws america #hws russia #rusame #hetalia #canva has like no proper speech bubble #i was trying to find those spiky ones #but they dont have em so i have to settle for this atrocious one #yao is the mvp fr #where would they be without him #IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT THIS IS ALREADY THE EXTREMELY SUMMED UP VERSION #if i shortened it any more id leave out details

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