#the Sads are hitting real hard this morning

[noobsoconfusing]

‘domesticated dawg’.. domestic!hamzah

contains reader insert! and nsfw kinda at the end

- for his whole damn life, everything hamzah wanted was a home

- sure, he had one before, but to be honest, it was just a house. no meaning behind it other than his family living there with him.

- so when he eventually moved out, loneliness began hitting like a truck..

- he found himself alone. constantly trying to fit into everything mandy and martin did, but he understood his friends also wanted privacy

- although hamzah wished he could just live with his friends, everything seemed funner with them. mandy was nice, always sharing martin with him, letting him interrupt their conversations to add comments, making jokes about whatever and they even had a group chat!

- but still, that life was not his, it was martin’s. it was mandy’s. not hamzah’s.

- god, he so craved a relationship as beautiful as his friends. it made him so sad knowing that the only girl he pulled ever was in elementary school :(

- so when you stumbled upon his hectic life, he knew he was NOT letting u go. ever. never ever.

- and mother of god, you were just so so so perfect? how could you? like, for real, he asks himself everyday what the hell did he ever do to deserve such a beautiful human by his side

- as the relationship develops, he finds himself doing stuff he only dreamed about

- he enjoys every single little thing you guys do together, cherishes every moment with you, even when you’re not around he keeps your id picture in his wallet

- makes sure you don’t have to move a finger!!!

- dishes? he does em! the bed? he makes it! clean the cats litterbox? on it!

- sometimes you wake up to the faint smell of something burning, and you’ve gotten used to it by now it’s even comforting .

“sweetheart….” he’d whisper not to disturb your peaceful slumber, however the noisy rattling of the dishes and the blender going off earlier had you already awake.

“hmm?” you murmured slowly opening your eyes, his big eyes stared at you like a squished bug, it made you giggle how eager he was to serve breakfast in bed.

“you are never gonna believe what i just prepared!” he excitedly said.

you smiled, sometimes hamzah was like an excited toddler showing you everything he did or found.

“so like, last night i was on facebook and found this super cool french toast recipe and tried to make it today for you but uh… we didn’t have eggs… or bread.” he paused and you tilted your head. “so i also tried to make pancakes with water and the mix but uh.. you never really showed me how to lower the flame so uh, they’re bricks now…” he nervously scratched his head

he was so cute, or so you thought.

“it’s okay, hamzah, what did you make then?” you asked, invested heavily. he always managed to surprise you somehow.

quickly, he got up the bed where he was straddling you, and ran to the counter where he had left the plate.

“anyway, cereal!” he smiled so big waiting for your reaction of approval.

“wooooow! my favourite!” you smiled too.

“i know right!”

- hamzah tries SO hard to please you :(

- actually tries to spend every single hour of the day with you, due to his job he finds himself being at martin’s often, so he brings you with him each time!

- late night editing with him, where you two are just snuggled together under the covers, hamzah has his blue light glasses on, and you think, man, what a sight to see!

- hamzah actually thinks you guys are married..

- not to be intense or anything, but to him, being with you means for life. you guys are going serious. no escaping from this man now. no backing down now.

- you and the cats are his little family. he has found a home in you and is willing to keep it forever <3

- every moment with you counts to him.

- in the mornings you two brush your teeth together, sometimes he spits toothpaste on your hand to make you mad, which doesn’t really work because you do the same to him and then it all ends in a laughing fit

- HE HAS NO SENSE OF PRIVACY T_T

- you could be taking a shower and he’s right outside of the shower curtain taking a shit and talking about whatever was on his mind

- when you’re using the bathroom he would burst the door open to grab something he left inside, unapologetically look at you and smile innocently

- since your little house –apartment– is rather small, whenever you use the kitchen together he has to constantly guide you around in order to not bump into each other

- grabs your waist to prevent you from slipping if he spills milk or water..

- literally just an excuse to touch you, though.

- sometimes you’re cooking and he just sneaks behind you to give you a back hug. rests his chin on top of your head and stays there for a while

- needs you constantly ngl

- if there’s something wrong with the house, such as a leak or a burnt bulb, he would try his best to fix it himself to prove you he’s capable of everything

- usually ends badly and you have to call someone else to fix it but hey! he tried!

- since you both are not very extroverted, house dates are perfect.

- movie nights under the dim lights of the apartment that lead to make out sessions..

“h-hold…” you tried to say between sloppy kisses being planted on your neck. “hold on!” you laughed out loud when the hickey he was giving you tickled your collarbone.

“mhmm, why?” you could feel his warm breath as he murmured against your skin.

“movie…”

“rather do you, though.” he replied.

- ordering take out that just ends up on hamzah and you racing to see who can eat more

- he loves to see you wearing his clothes <3 like, it actually makes him physically happy and super fucking proud

- loves how his hoodies are undeniably big on you, and how his shirts falls down to your thighs, covering you up so perfectly. knowing you enjoy wearing his clothes just makes him realise how much you both need each other pretty much always

- hamzah has mentioned –to you– before his desire to actually grow your family a bit more, no more cats though, no dogs either. a baby, maybe. or two. three?

- and he was super blunt and serious about it, also. like he was being DEAD SERIOUS. he loves you, dude. this man is a family man.

“we are very serious, right?” he asked you out of the blue.

“yeah, of course.” you replied looking at his direction. the bed sheets covered his body so you could only see his face peeking out. it was funny.

“no but like, im super serious about you, about us… i love you a lot and i feel so deeply about you, is that alright? do you not feel weird about me? like, do you actually like me or…?” he rambled, and you knew how self conscious he could get sometimes ;(

“hamzah, i am so very serious about us too, i love being with you, why would you doubt that?” it made you sad, but you had to constantly reassure him.

he leaned in to kiss you, so soft and desperate at the same time, like he was trying not to break down.

“serious, right?” he asked again as he broke the kiss

“yeah, very serious, hamzah.”

a moment of silence. he played with your hair, then subtly touched your face in the dark, tracing your features.

“okay but speaking super fucking seriously, i wanna impregnate you and i wanna raise our children and live until we’re super fucking old, that alright?”

he deadpanned. and you never felt so loved, even if his ways were… odd. you knew he cared, and you did too!

“yeah. that alright.”

- morning sex hits hard w hamzah btw. so when you’re still tired and wanna be together you opt for this one as an excuse to get up until the evening

- this man needs you so much that he actually for real wants to merge your souls together

- but as he cannot do that yet, he settles for your bodies..

- sometimes when he’s working he just :( needs you and your warmth and your embrace and your presence and you you you you

- he’s obsessed with you to say the least

- yeah so cockwarming.. where he just begs for it, and you cant say no to that wet dog face :c though you know he wont even last a minute without moving cuz he’s needy like that.

- his hands are grasping at your waist for mercy, keeping you down and linked to his own body. he tries his best to keep still, though you wouldn’t mind if he actually started thrusting

- loves how warm you’re always :c it’s almost embarrassing how pathetic this man is for you

“mmm, im… oh, god! f-fuck, im sorry, can i…?” he whimpers, his eyes shut and his work long forgotten on the desk

and god, yeah. you need it too. he’s been inside for what felt like fucking hours. you were just as needy and desperate but didn’t wanna say anything :(

“yeah j-just…yeah..” you managed to say, your face buried in his neck, inhaling his cologne.

it was so damn intoxicating, you felt so drunk on him.

- big on aftercare. he wants to make you comfortable and loved, which yeah you feel like that around him. tho he also needs aftercare from you sometimes..

- hamzah thinks, you found him to save him. save him from his loneliness, his misfortune, everything. he is so glad that you exist and decide to share your existence with him.

- hamzah now doesn’t have to look for a home in other places. he doesn’t have to look out for love, for company somewhere else. he has you, you’re his home now. now and forever

- you’re a home that’s not taken. a home that’s not temporary. a home that waits for him everyday. a home that provides love and care. a home that he doesn’t feel he’s intruding..

- a home he doesn’t wanna run away from. not ever

>_<

down bad for this kinda hamzah bruv anyway hope some1 likes dis

[charonte-simi]

"No news is good news" has been my mantra this week regarding the job offer

But I do wish I could just skip to the receiving actual good news part 🙃

[meateater-rabbit]

[fireflyinks]

good boy ⭒

reader x peeta mellark smut

a/n : i’m actually screaming this was so fun to write, pls repost if ya like it!! 💗

contains : sub peeta mellark, soft dom reader, praise kink, multiple rounds, peeta and the reader own a bakery, pinv, talk of having kids, no protection, riding

MATURE 18+

Peeta Mellark was a hard worker. Partly because that’s just who he was as an individual, but mainly because of his upbringing. The need to impress ran through his body as if it were his own blood. He craved praise, feened off of it as if it were a sweet, sweet nectar.

This notion was very present in his every day life. When he’d accidently burn a loaf or spill a bag of flour, his face would turn a rosey pink shade out of shame and he’s scramble to fix his mistake. His puppy dog eyes would shoot over to me, as if to scream “I’m sorry! I’m so very sorry! Please don’t hurt me!”, only to be met with a peck on the cheek and a whisper of “It’s okay, you’re fine”. His eyes would soften, and his hands would become less clammy, brow less furrowed, and cheeks even rosier.

If I dared to give him a slight compliment in the morning, the blonde’s head would be in the clouds for the rest of the day, almost in a trance from the mere thought of his special girl thinking he was admirable.

At first, I thought this whole ordeal was sort of sad, I mean depressing even. Peeta was just so love starved.

But then I learned how to use it to my advantage.

There he was, on top of me, trying his very best to impress me. His cock pistoned in and out vigorously, each one of my moans encouraging him. My back arched off of the sheets as I wrapped my legs around his waist, trying to get him deeper.

He understood this rather quickly, trading speed for force and plunging himself directly into my core.

“Good boy.” I moaned out, almost automatically. His pace faltered for a moment, starstruck.

“Say that again.” He whimpered.

“Say what baby?” I questioned, confused as to why he’d stopped.

“Uh, please can you um call me a good boy again?” He mumbled. Something in his eyes had shifted, he looked almost helpless.

“Well…” I decided to tease him, rile him up more. “I can only do that if you act like one, so if you fuck me real good, yeah, you can be my good boy.”

Peeta nodded, beginning to thrust into me once again, determined to be a good boy.

“That’s it, there’s a good boy.” I cooed, gazing up at him with major ‘fuck me’ eyes.

His jaw slacked and he moaned deeply. “You’re so- fuck, you’re so hot.”

I giggled at the love drunk expression on his face. “Thank you, my handsome boy.”

I felt his cock twitch inside of me. God, praise really did have an effect on him.

“I- oh baby I’m gonna come.”

I moaned as he fucked me deeply, hitting my g-spot with each thrust.

“Go ahead, come inside of me like a good boy.”

His eyes rolled back into his head as he came with his new found permission. He pulled out immediately, connecting our lips before lying down beside me.

“That was- fuck, amazing.” He sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

There was silence for a few moments before he realized.

He sprung into apology immediately.

“Holy shit baby, you didn’t come, did you? I’m so sorry love, I’ll do whatever you want, eat you out, fuck you again, whatever you want. I’m so stupid, I don’t know how I-“

I pressed my lips to his to shut him up as I climbed on top of him.

“No baby, you don’t have to ride me, I’m the one who messed up. Let me-“

“Peeta, I want you to be a good boy and listen to me.”

I angled his wet cock upward before sinking down onto it. I began working my hips.

“You are not stupid, you are so smart.” I bounced on him as I spoke, “you’re so good to me, everybody makes mistakes and that’s ok. You have gotten me off a million times before. You’re such a good fucking boy.”

He began to look away as blush creeped into his face. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look me in my eyes.

“You’re so handsome baby, ah fuck- you’re such a hard worker, and you’ll make an amazing father one day.”

My legs began to shake as I released on his lap, my cum flowing down his cock. I continued to ride him throughout my high.

“Now say it to me.” I ordered.

“You’re so beauti-“

I shook my head, “No, tell me about how much of a good boy you are.”

His face contorted, clearly too shy to say such things.

I touched his face lightly, “Peeta, good boys do what they’re told. Be a good boy.”

He nodded, “Um- I’m a good boy.” He whimpered, unsure of himself.

“I don’t believe you. Say it like you mean it.”

He cleared his throat, looking into my eyes. “I’m a good boy. I made a mistake and that’s ok. I’m so handsome and will make a really good father. Fuck- I’m gonna come.”

He released inside of me, painting my spongy walls white. His voice filled the room with pornographic noises. After letting him catch his breath, I crawled off of him. Peeta walked into the bathroom for a moment and came back with a damp rag and a smile on his face.

He began to slowly clean me up. I looked in between my thighs and laughed at the amount of semen that had collected.

“Jeez, if we don’t start being more careful, you might be an amazing father sooner than we’d imagined.”

He chuckled, pressing his lips onto mine. “I’d be ok with that.”

[opalici0us]

Closer to You | Satoru Gojo

| pairings- Gojo x fem!reader

synopsis- When your ex-boyfriend just can't seem to leave you alone

content- 18+ MNDI, SMUT, porn with some plot, p in v sex, unprotected sex, oral(f!receiving), breeding kinda (Gojo cums inside), angst (tinybit!), praise, swearing, Gojo is a little cocky, toxic relationship

wc- 1.5k

"Push and pull again to get closer..."

Gojo broke up with you two months ago and during these two months, every time you finally felt like you were moving on he’d show up, right outside your apartment door. Using his sweet words to lure you in. Gojo always knew how to make you crumble for him. You could never tell if he really did miss you and was still in love with you or just horny and you were the easiest girl he could get. He’d always love you when you were barely holding onto him. 

Tonight wasn’t any different. It was a quarter till one in the morning. There was a knock on your door, and reluctantly you went to check, already having an idea who it was. Checking through the peephole, you see Gojo and his bright blue eyes staring back at you. You sigh heavily and open the door. His eyes wandered your body, taking note you’re wearing one of his old t-shirts. You noticed this, clearing your throat to change his line of attention off your body.

“Satoru, you need to stop coming here.” You said, your voice coming out in a weak quiver.

“I know…I just miss you, is that alright?” He raised his hand to push a single strand of hair behind your ear, “Couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Gojo traced your jawline with his fingers down to your neck and snaked his hand to the nape, lightly massaging it. 

And that's all he had to say before your nails were digging into the sheets, tears spilling from your eyes, and his head buried in between your thighs. 

His tongue was teasingly lapping circles around your little bud, his large hand pushing your thighs apart.“F-fuck Toru! Stop teasing,” You whined and subconsciously pressed your cunt up onto his face.

“So needy for me,” Gojo chuckled. “Stop teasing,” he mimicked your whining. Before you could reply with something snarky he harshly sucked your clit, his tongue lapping up and down, going from flicking your little nub to digging his tongue into your little hole. He took two fingers to spread your folds to give him better access to assault your clit. He took it into his mouth, vigorously sucking on it, shaking his head back and forth.

“Shittt, slow down. I-I’m gonna cum.” You whined and clenched your thighs around his head, your fingers releasing the sheets to tug on his white locks. Loud muffled groans escape from his throat as he eats you, drunk on your taste.

“Then cum, do it, baby. Give it to me,” He slipped two fingers inside of you, curling into your g-spot “Make a mess on my fingers Y/N.” He latched back onto your clit, flicking it vigorously with his tongue. “Oh m-my goddd” You elongated, the pleasure was so intense. You felt your orgasm build up, leaving your body shaking in anticipation. “G-gonna cum Toru” You choked out.

“Mmmm yeah? Then just fucking come Y/N.” Gojo cooed. He went from sucking to flicking it, and back again. Your hips bucked up as his finger repeatedly hit your g-spot. You blurted out ‘Oh my gods’ and ‘So good Toru’, you felt your legs shake with pleasure as your walls pulsated around his long fingers. 

“Fuck you’re so fuckin’ tight around my fingers,” Gojo teased you, his cock twitched at the feeling, and he brought his hand down to palm himself over his sweats to bring some relief because of how painfully hard he was. “Bet you’re wishin’ it was my cock instead,” he was also so vulgar, and you loved it.

He chuckled feeling your cunt squeeze his finger even tighter, he pulled them out making you whimper. “Awww don’t be sad, gonna fuck you real good, yeah?” Gojo licked his fingers clean before sliding his sweatpants down, along with his boxers. Gojo’s massive length springs free, slapping against his toned stomach, making him groan. He slid his tip up and down your folds.

“J-just give it to me Toru.” You whined

“Getting impatient, huh?” He laughed “Your little hole is clenching around nothing, bet you’re real desperate to get my dick wet, aren’t ya?” He teased your hole with his angry tip. “I think you should beg for it, what do you think?”

You rolled your eyes at him, but of course, you gave in. “Please Toru, wanna feel you deep, need to feel it, been such a good girl.” You whined for him.

A smug look etched onto his face, “Yeah, you have been such a good girl, haven’t you, might just give you what you want.” He lifted your legs and placed each on his shoulders, he slowly stuck his tip into your warmth, making your eyes roll back.

“Fuuckk, you’re s’tight” Gojo sucked the air between his teeth, clenching his jaw. Your eyes rolled back into your head feeling him fully push himself inside you, making you squeal.

“Feels s’ full,” You whimpered out. “Missed this, missed you.” You mumbled out. Gojo pressed your knees to your chest, he fully pulled himself out before slamming back in creating a loud squelch, “Oh fuck!” You squealed. He smirked repeating the action, his balls slapping against you. “Mhm oh my goddd Toru!” You dug your nails into his shoulders, looking down to see where you two were connected. 

He moved his hips in slow circular motion before thrusting roughly inside you, “J-just like that Toru, you’re so deep” You moved your hands to hold onto the back of your thighs allowing him to go deeper. He brought his hand down to your stomach to feel himself move inside you, making your walls squeeze around his cock.

“F-fuck! Pussy trying to milk me dry ahaha,” He tipped his back, showing how his adams apple bobbed up and down, before looking back down at your fucked out face. “You’re so hot.” He groaned.

He pulled out again, thrusting back in, hitting your g spot just right with his cockhead. “R-right fuckin’ there Toru, shiittt!” You babbled out feeling him thrust into your sensitive spot over and over again.

“You wanna cum?” Gojo said and brought his hand to rub circles on your clit, making you go dumb.

“Y-yes Toru, so close. M-make me cum on your cock.” You whined.

“If you insist, wanna fuck you real good.” With no warning he flipped you onto your hands and knees, pushing your head down into the mattress, hitting you deeper than before. “T-toru too deep fu–goddd!” He snaked his hand around to rub circles around your clit, making your whole body go limp. “Ha, always go dumb f’me, oh fuckkk.” He takes his hand off your hip to tangle his fingers into your hair, pulling you back into a harsh arch, your hands squeezing your breasts, stimulating your nipples. “Kiss me, baby, yeah?” Gojo slid his tongue into your mouth, sloppily kissing you. 

“I’m” kiss “s-so” kiss “close.” You said muffled between kisses, he sucked on your tongue before pulling away with a string of spit. Your walls pulsated around him, feeling your orgasm near.

“Shhitt squeezin' me so tight, good fuckin’ girl.” He bit down on your bottom lip momentarily. “Want me to cum inside, hmm? Fill you up?” Your gummy walls involuntarily squeeze around him after hearing his vulgar words. “Fuck yeah! You like that aha, feel the way you squeezin’ me tight when I say that.” He picks up the pace of his thrusts and his fingers on your clit. 

“Shhhit yes yes, gonna c-cum Satoru!” You whimpered out, your mouth falling into an ‘o’ as your orgasm washes over you. 

“Good girl, good fuckin’ girl, m’ gonna cum, fill you up. Just how you like it.” His thrusts turned sloppy as he fucks his seed into you. He released his tight grip on you, you landed on your face while your ass remained up in the air. You moaned in satisfaction feeling his hot release drip down you as he pulled out. He brought his fingers up to catch it and shove it back in, making you squirm. “You’re always so good.” Gojo laughed and moved to lay beside you. 

You lay beside one another, not saying anything, just staring into each other's eyes. You tried to figure out the look on his face. Satisfaction? Regret? Love? With Gojo, it was always hard telling. You sigh knowing it's probably to just tell him to leave, like you always do. “Satoru you sho-” he cuts you off

“I love you.” He spoke in a soft tone, those blue eyes piercing your heart. 

You bite your bottom lip. Unsure what to do now. You stare at each other again for a few more seconds before Gojo breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, I should go.” He said and crawled out of the bed, not looking back at you.

“Yeah…you should.” You said quietly and watched as he got dressed. Before he walked out of your room, he looked back at you one last time, knowing he’d probably never see you again. He gave you a small nod and finally walked out, not wanting you to see the tears that were brimming in his eyes. 

You sighed and rolled over onto your back. You made a mental note to pick up a plan b tomorrow morning. You blocked him on everything shortly after, hopefully putting an end to this cycle.

"We're not meant to blend in..."

© opalici0us | All writings belong to me, do not copy, translate, or modify my works

[queuestarter]

mirrors

(finnick odair x reader)

cw: mentions of sexual abuse and prostitution, talks of self hatred, ambiguous ending

→ reader comforts finnick when he's having a rough morning

open to submissions/asks !!

You know what kind of day it’s going to be as soon as you wake up.

Finnick’s not in bed anymore, which is unusual for him. He usually likes to stay in bed until well after you both have woken up. He likes to hold you against his chest, likes to whisper in your ear about everything and nothing. He likes knowing you’re there.

So when you wake up during sunrise and don’t see him next to you in bed, you can instantly tell something is wrong. You’re not worried or hesitant, you are more upset than anything.

Both you and Finnick have experienced the Hunger Games, so you’re no stranger to the nightmares that stem from it and bud out into real life. But when Finnick has nightmares, he tends to want to stay in bed rather than leave it, so you know that his terrors must not be what woke him up.

You sigh, getting up from the bed yourself. You smooth out the sheets and the duvet before grabbing your and Finnick’s mugs with old tea dregs in it to deposit in the kitchen sink. A pang of sadness hits you when you don’t spot Finnick at all during that time.

After throwing on one of Finnick’s knit sweaters and making two fresh mugs of tea, you set out to find your boyfriend, once and for all. It doesn’t take much looking- you find him sitting on the back deck overlooking the water.

“Finnick,” you say quietly so as not to startle him. “I brought you some tea.”

He doesn’t turn to look at you but by the way he flinches you know he heard you. You frown at his subtle action. 

“Go back inside. It’s too cold out here for you,” he eventually says after a long moment of silence. “I’ll be in soon.”

You don’t listen, instead choosing to sit on the step directly next to him, placing his mug on the table in front of you. “The tea will warm us both up.”

He finally turns his head to look at you. You try not to stare at the sight of the bags under his eyes or the way his frown has left a crease on his cheek. 

“What are you even doing here?” He asks, catching you off guard.

You don’t let the question faze you for too long before you respond easily, trying not to set him off. “I wanted to see you.”

He shakes his head before returning his gaze back to the water. “Not here, here. What are you doing with me?”

This question does cause you to raise your eyebrows. You set your mug of tea down next to his. “I’m here because I love you. You are the most perfect man in the world to me.”

You catch the way his face seems to melt at your words, how tears immediately come pouring from his eyes. Despite how hard it is, you don’t comfort him in fear of making his breakdown worse.

“I’m not. There’s nothing perfect about me. I’m dirty and used up.” He buries his face into his hands.

You’re speechless. You and Finnick have been together for a long time, and while he’s had moments where he feels like he’s not enough or that what the Capitol put him through made him less than, he’s never said anything like this. After a moment of processing his words, you try to soothe him by rubbing a hand up and down his back.

“Everything about you is perfect to me, Finn. And you are not dirty,” you say vehemently. “What they’re putting you through has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”

With his face still buried, Finnick cries out, “then why am I like this? Why can’t I live with it?”

You grimace. Every word he says resonates with you. While you were never sought after in the Capitol after your games in the same way Finnick is, you’ve seen the aftermath of the attention. You can’t do anything to change the past or what’s to come, but you can try to make things more bearable for him.

Afterall, he’s done so much for you.

“Can you tell me what happened, honey?” You dare to ask, hoping he’ll let you in.

He lifts his head up and turns back to face you. Your heart breaks at the sight of his watery eyes and red cheeks. “I just… looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I hate my face for what it’s caused me.”

At this point you can’t help your own tears. “Finn,” you whisper. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your face, or your personality, or anything about you. Those people are the ones that are wrong. The people in the Capitol who are too evil to see the hurt that they’re causing.”

He nods. “Yeah.”

Not knowing what else to do, you wrap your arm around his shoulder and hold him until he tells you to stop. And when he does want to get up and go inside, you still say nothing as you make oatmeal for the two of you.

There’s nothing you can do or say to stop his torment. All you can do is promise to always be by his side.

-

[moshpitgamma]

My Sunflower|| John Dory x Fiancé!Reader

Warnings:Angst+Fluff

(This is my first real fanfic so Plss don’t be TOO harsh)

YALL ITS LONG OK😭

——————————————————————

“John! I’m home!” Said the exhausted troll walking through the door of their shared apartment. “Huh? Damn it’s 9pm.” Y/n said checking the time. “Hun, You here?” They screamed again wondering why their fiancé wasn’t answering. When they didn’t get a response they started to get anxious, but convinced themselves he went to either the studio or to hang out with his brothers.

The clock finally hits 11:03pm and still there isn’t a sign of JD. “Why isn’t he answering his phone?” You said with worry laced in your voice. His brothers also didn’t answer their phones for god knows what. Now you’re in full panic mode pacing back and forth in the dining room blowing UP his phone with messages and calls. After your many failed attempts of contacting him you finally decided to call the only person you KNEW that was gonna pick up. So you called his grandma.

Once she answered you tried to hide your anxiousness and your panicked voice, but she caught on to it quickly. “Hi Mrs. Rosie, do you know where John is? I haven’t spoke to him since this morning before I went to work.” You asked frantically hoping that she would cure the pulsating adrenaline going through your body. When you finished your nauseating questions the silence you both held was fueling it like you were going to burst. When the never ending silence finally came to an end a sigh was heard. "Hun Bun….JD left hours ago after their embarrassing show fail." she told you with reassurance and empathy. She then continued to tell you how and what happened between the brothers. The last thing you ever heard from her was “Sweetie just give it time.” So you waited…

And waited….

And waited….

Until 20 years have passed and still no sign of John. You were invited to the royal wedding of King Grisel and Bridget and was currently trying to find a dress. While rampaging you closet like a mad woman you come across and unfamiliar bagged dress. When you took it out you stared at it with tears welling up in your eyes. It was your dress he proposed to you in. It was admired in jewels and yellow sunflower like petals and soft like satin and silk. It was one of a kind. Your debating stopped instantly and you proceeded to put on the dress.

FAST FORWARD TO WEDDING :>

“We are gathered here today t-.” “STOP THE WEDDING!” A random voice yelled…

You felt like your heart was going to jump out your chest from all the adrenaline rushing. Trying to force your tears down you finally built enough courage to turn around and look to where everyone else was looking. When you finally saw who it was your tears finally escaped their haunted and sorrowful chamber. He was there……

Standing in front of Branch?

Trying to pick him up?

You didn’t wanna get noticed in this state so you turned to leave but you felt a hand grab your flushed smaller ones. It was Branch..”Are you ok?”he asked knowing you weren’t. “I’m ok.” You said quickly dismissing his attempts of comfort. Before you could leave you heard a nickname you never knew you would hear again. “My sunflower?” He must’ve felt the tension he created so he hurried to you and begged you too listen to his explanations and excuses. You couldn’t do nothing, BUT listen so you gave him 3 minutes. “The reason I left was because Brozone was turning into a disaster and I needed to just space myself away for a while!”

You didn’t know whether to be mad or sad or HELL even glad but you knew he was trying to get you to understand. “But did you have to go?” Tears welling up..

Silence…….

“Did you have to leave me alone without telling me ANYTHING?!!?”

“I-“ you didn’t let him finish before you started walking off letting the emotions and realization sink in. He knew he fucked up… He couldn’t let you leave…. He needed his flower…He ran up to you and hugged you as hard as he could to prevent you from leaving and cried like hell was dragging him away from the heaven he created with you. “Sunflower PLEASE, I promise I’ll never leave you again!!” He repeated like his life depended on it. You slowly started to give in and soothed him. “Please Hun, I promise I’ll pro-“ He couldn’t even get done with his sentence before feeling the feeling he oh so missed….

Your lips…

“Please Don’t leave me again.” You said barely above a whisper and your teary E/C eyes looked at him.

He smiled warmly and responded with nothing but sincerity..”Of course not my sunflower.”

THE ENDDDDDDD☺️🫶🏿

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Broken headsets

- Chan

Warning: A lot of Angst, slight violence?

Pairing: BangChan x reader.

Summary: where he snaps at you while working.

!Not proofread!

(This is just a trail story, I lost my first story that was actually good ☠️I’m probably going to delete this)

**

“Channie?” I call for him. My hands gently rubbing his back while playing with his hair. So soft and messy.

“Mhm” he replies softly. The sound of his fingers typing against the keyboard as his headsets sat around his neck. His brown curls fluffy and everywhere.

His silver hoops sitting perfectly on both his ears and his black shirt tight around his muscle making him look delicious.

“Baby you need to eat something. You’ve been on that computer ever since you got home.” I plead with him.

He needed to eat, he hadn’t eaten all day due to the busy schedule and lack of time on his plate. The mangers were on him 24/7 due to their comeback in a few weeks.

Comeback season meant no time for anything, no time for dates, no time for sitting around, no time for spending time with one another and I hated it. I hate it so much. It made me angry.

“Baby this is really important, I’ll be there in a second.” He quickly says not even bothering to look up.

“Chan you’ve been at it for the past 2 hours, you haven’t even looked at me.” I complain. Yes I wanted attention, shoot me!

“I’ll give you all the attention you want my love, just please let me finish this.”

Sadness fills my heart as I silently put the clothes inside the closet.

A ringing sound in my ear and a tight feeling in my throat.

I was trying not to cry. I refused to cry.

Chan was a workaholic, no doubt in that. His days consisted of waking up early in the morning to head to the JYP building and coming home very late only to do more work. Some nights he wouldn’t come home at all and he knew I didn’t like it so to make my happy, he sometimes would bring me with him to the studio but that was when he thought he wouldn’t be coming home.

Our conversations in the studio normally contained:

“Just 30 more minutes my love”

Or

“I’m almost done”

Or

“I promise this is the last thing.”

He loves his job and he puts 110% in it but that makes him lack in other areas. His health.

Some nights he doesn’t sleep, some days he forgets meals and other days his mental health is the worst but still he doesn’t care because he loves his Job. He loves the boys. He loves Stay.

“Fine.” I sigh. One minute meant 1 hours at this point. I quietly leave the room closing the door behind me. Leaving him in his little world.

The cold tiles sending a shiver up my spine as I walked down the corridor.

“What am I going to do with you Channie?” I whisper to myself while packing up the food.

The dishes in the sink waiting for me to touch them while the laundry basket sat in the living room waiting for me to fold the messy clothes in them.

The house was quiet. The A.C hitting my skin with cold air as I sit on the floor and start folding the clothes one by one.

Berry by my side watching me.

Our apartment wasn’t big but it was huge for two people.

Some days it was a real big hustle to keep everything clean especially when they boys stay over but other days it wasn’t hard to maintain with the help of Chan.

“What am I going to do with your dad Berry?” I sigh again looking at the dog who seemed to be care free.

I grabbed the last set of clothes and walked over to the room. Chan’s back facing me. Not even noticing me in the room.

“Baby..” I call for him as I set down the clothes and start to load them into the closet.

“What Y/n?” He says a little harsh. I roll my eyes, frustration starting to build in my chest but I decide to be the bigger person and ignore his little attitude.

“Baby do you know what we’ll be doing for our 2 year anniversary?” I asked him trying to atleast have a conversation with him.

“I don’t know Y/n. You deal with it I don’t have time. Just tell me how much it is and when it is.”

“When it is?” I ask him obviously taken back.

“Ugh I didn’t mean when it is, I mean when you wanna do it.” He quickly corrects himself and rubs his temples with his fingers.

“Atleast act like you care Chan.” I tell him honestly.

“I’m not starting an argument with you right now so please can I get back to my work?”

“Chan why are you being like this?” Ignoring his request I decide to push because honestly I was tired of it.

“I’m not acting like anything I just want to finish my work in peace.”

“Chan you’re acting so selfish right now!” I say now slightly raising my voice.

“Y/n” he says firm and glaring over at me. What’s the worse he could possibly do?

“Just listen-“ I beg before I’m cut off.

“Y/n i said leave me alone!” His voice booms and the sound of breaking glass fills the room. My body freezes. Hands shaking.

The now broken headsets and mirror laying on the ground.

“Did you just throw that at me?” I ask him in disbelief.

“Babe-“ his body was stood up now and he was reaching out for me. His face filled with panic and guilt.

“Don’t.” I say getting away from his touch. The clothes that were once folded no scattered on the ground. Words refusing to come out of my mouth until I force myself to get up from the floor.

“I-I’m going to leave…” I say softly. My heart hurt and I hope he knew that. I felt the tears that were all built up from frustration, anger and hurt all start to flow down my cheeks.

When would he realize that being with him was starting to slowly ruin me?

**

Pt 2 ⬇️

[christinebloodwrittings]

To hunt or be hunted #7

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader x Lucifer Summary: A moment of weakness, or perhaps of caring? Warnings: SMUT kids scram!.

Hazbin Taglist: @sakuraluna2468 @boogiemansbitch @mysterypotatoink @sibsteria @cherry-cola-100 @readergirlstuff @phoenixica24 @martinys-world @alientee @jellyroom2 @jewelsrules @ladyzaunis

Sorry for the updating problems, now it's finished :3

"Then...make me your reason" your laughter was unexpected, but then again, he wasn’t expecting for you to say yes right away.

"Why? And don't sell me the cow that in less than three months you fell for me, 'cause it's not possible, besides you're married" the brightness that surrounded him, upset your stomach, it was a reminder.

Her. His story, the fall, his and her promises of never stopping loving each other. What could happen between them to break such a love story? What if she never came back?

Could you live long enough to make him happy? Will you suffice?

"Well, I grew fond of our talks, it will be really sad if I lost my cuddle buddy" He wasn't sure what he was saying, just the fact that not seeing you was not an option, "And, I've noticed you take good care of Charlie" it hurt him, a lot, but seeing his own daughter being taken care of in any way possible, but not by him, was like a direct stab to his heart.

Your weirded out face made him explain:

"You make sure she eats, in the mornings it's you who gives her vitamins, you remind her of her appointments, bandage her when she gets hurt, I've even heard her rant to you and take your advice at heart. You've taken care of my daughter as if she was yours" Lucifer’s heart ached with every word.

A lightning bolt hit your entire body, figuratively. Eight years of taking care of her, it was as natural as breathing. Did you perhaps reflect the stolen need for motherhood in her? If so, her real mother is going to annihilate you.

"What if that was your reason?" he had his hope on the line, "I'm not her mother, the real deal will kill me if she hears me, but though she's being unbelievably irresponsible, I cannot take this from her” you took notice on his hands again, he had them on each side of your head it was hard not to notice.

Subtle scratches, horizontal, messy and weirdly even, the depression medication. Oh you prayed she never get back, he would never forgive you if her head was on the other end of your axe, but you won’t have him getting hurt by her again, and if it could be at the expense of your life, even better.  

"I think, deep down, she knows that. I'm not excluded in that" he lowered himself again, at least you wouldn’t look him in the eyes when you spoke, it hurt seeing his ‘at the verge of tears’ look.

"You know, I think if you tell your daughter of your depression, she will stop resenting your absence" he pulled himself up again, his red cheeks went so down you thought they would reach the underside of his chin "She does what?" anguish, pure at that.

"What did you think she rants about? Partially you, mainly why her hotel isn't working” he sighed, listening to you made him understand why Charlie stook around you, which was the other way around mostly, but still. He took your hand from his shoulder, kissed your knuckles with his eyes closed, then muttered a very heartfelt "Thank you for taking care of her” before leaning against your palm.  

"With time it became my pleasure, at first I wanted to kill her" you chuckled, he came down on your neck, inhaling the remanent smell on his shampoo. What an intimate thing, Lilith wouldn’t be caught dead wearing some other thing than her rose smelling antique perfume and products.

“Good thing you didn't” he muttered, “And face you? I ain't stupid" you only realized what you said when he started laughing at you, a soundly one with one or two occasional snorts, "Shut up" you rolled on your side with him still on you, which was pretty easy.

"Make us your reason, stay" if you were sober you would’ve coward in your old morals for the intimate position, crotch to crotch, but it was so close and warm.

“I'm just leaving that option on the table, if you still want to die, we'll miss you dearly, heck, I think even that son of bitch of Alastor will” you shook your head softly, attempting not to laugh, the alcohol doing all the funny work in your brain.

“You enjoy being in between my tits, huh?” his snake smile was too much when you dropped that, “I've been here through all this conversation, didn't heard you complaining” his hand went up and down your back.

“You have her in your mind when we do this” your happiness went away, your limbs went limp, so did your mind for a moment.

“No, not so much” his smile dropped, gosh you wished you could sew it up, “I wasn't asking, I just want to know if you're aware of who I’m not”.

“I am” he assured.

“Do I disappoint you, when you open your eyes and realize she's still not here?” he was, his hesitation told you everything.

"Thing is, I can't make you or Charlie my reason, I will not be a replacement, I'm sure you understand"

"And what if Alastor asked you that? Will you?".

"No, he’s two different people, one with me and another in public, and he despises physical touch and PDA on a daily basis, and I need that" you saw his shadow slip from under the door, drawing a finger along his neck and an ok hand gesture.

“But he did me a solid tonight, a huge one, if he asked me for a kiss tomorrow I would give him some sugar” the shadow winked then slipped under again.

“And if I did? Would you?” you knew what he was asking, but instead you just played something random in your head in hopes for him to let you sleep a bit, “Give you a kiss? My, my, your majesty, how forward”.

“You're a prude” he moved away from your neck, “I'm simply old fashioned”.

His hand rested on your cheek, gently moving towards your neck, not squeezing or pressing, just holding it. Your tail wrapped around your leg, at the same time you closed your eyes as her face approached, slowly. A kiss, calm, soft, near the corner of your lips.

"Is that okay?" you weren’t listening, you wanted to relish on the loveliness of his gesture, it made you all bubbly and lovely. You hummed, there was nothing else you could utter, not when his breath went back to your neck.  

A mental ‘fuck it’ later, had you yanking his head away from your neck and pressing your lips on his, "Remind me of this when I'm sober" as soon as you were done you pulled him back against you, "Will do" a loved sick king he was, reminded him when he just had met Lilith.

"And Y/n…if you gave me a chance and some time, you wouldn't be a replacement” after a second of thought and a heavy sigh, “Can I keep that option and sleep on it for a while?" he smiled then nuzzled into your warmth, as did you, "Sure thing, like I said, the option is there".

The way Lucifer saw it, an abstract void in which he was trapped, willingly so.

How can he put seven years of pain behind him? It is as if he is sitting in the dark, while the world moves around him, he doesn’t know if he falls or rises, he only feels the movement and how it leaves him behind in a certain way. He sees you, far away in the shadows, your body wrapped in them, covering everything except your face, to him it looks like you are drowning, in the center of your chest a white, empty hole.

Your tired eyes without more tears to shed, even without strength they managed to stay away from the shadows, how? He alone clinging to hope and denial kept the cold of loneliness and despair at bay.

Contrary from him, you maintained yourself above the darkness, standing, strong despite being tired out of your mind. He longed to know what drove you to keep walking despite everything. Reach you in some way, save you from the hands of pain that tried to drag you into oblivion.

What were you reaching for? Your arm was out stretched, towards the sky, was it heaven? Someone to help you? He wanted to, he wanted to move, why he couldn’t?

“Fuck, Y/n! Wait for me, please, I’ll find a way, I promise!” he yelled into the void, not getting your attention despite how many times he did, or how loud he was.

Specks of lights made you fade from view, “No, please, not you too, I can be better!” His knees shook, so he used his claws against the ground to try to move towards you, tearing the skin under his nails from the strength he put into it.

“Please, don’t leave!” he yelled one more time. And then, he felt how his agitated breathing dried his throat, the light from his room almost blinded his eyes when he opened them. It took him a few seconds to realize that it was a dream.

It was still pretty early, the sky was still dark, the only light that illuminated the room was the one from the bathroom.

You were kneeling near the toilet, head down, he guessed the alcohol caught up on you and moved away from him to vomit. Silently he picked up your hair from your face, gently holding all the soft strands in his hand, as the other caressed your back softly.  

Still, not a single word being uttered, he materialized you a toothbrush, then he waited for you to come back to bed, his arms open. This time he positioned himself behind your back, one arm under your neck and the other across your waist, avoiding pressing too hard.

You wondered, what made him treat you so sweetly? You touched with your index softly along the scratches on his wrist, “How can someone ethereal like you, be troubled by things so earth bound?” you realized you said it out loud when the hand that was on your waist moved to intertwine it with yours.  

“I’m far from ethereal” his hot breath was on your ear, the twitching made him smile. “You were an angel, how can someone like you feel so much pain?” It was difficult for him to analyze your question, were you perhaps questioning that angels did not feel emotions? “How? I feel, you like you” you shook your head, “That’s not what I mean” collecting your thoughts seemed impossible, it was a mental mess.

“You wonder why I feel pain?” you hummed in response, “I feel like at the beginning, helpless, useless, I took away her chance to go to heaven, believing I could make her happy, but it wasn’t enough” he then added “I wasn’t enough” hurt was an understatement, there was a whole set of words yo describe how his voice sounded, but his sadness overall brought a few tears to fall off your eyes.

“I may have felt the same way… still do” he hugged you even tighter, “We are two broken souls, a bunch of messy pieces” you leaned your face to the marks on his wrist, placing a subtle kiss as you joked “Scrap books”, making him smile and let out a small laugh, “You’re so cute”.

🍎📻

"Alastor, is me, open up" you leaned against the door frame, your headache killing your head and your stomach on the verge of jumping off your body. That and the tiredness for waking up in the middle of the night made your voice a bit raspy and slurred.

"Good morning mon chérie, how was your night?" either he was being a sunshine to piss you off, or he was in a sincere good mood…or both.

“I am never drinking again” he laughed a little, watching you push the silver ‘room service’ cart inside his room, setting it on a near corner.

“I assumed as much” he reached his bookshelf and pulled a couple pills out of a few boxes, “You're amazing” he got all kind of tingles when you took the pills off his hand, he relished on how unbelievably soft your skin was.

"I must say that about you, quite the entertainment your ex resulted to be" With his cup of tea he sat in a single red sofa chair, with his free hand he pat the black one on his side. You flopped on the seat with your cup of coffee.

“Is he dead?” he couldn’t tell by your already sour tone if you were being sarcastic or you really cared, "Barely alive, but healing, I will tore him apart again tonight" the little smile he got from you was delightful.

"Darling, I have some information for you" if the ass of your ex told him anything, you didn’t needed to know, curiosity burned your insides though. “What will it cost me?” he hummed pensative, “A kiss” that was odd coming from him, but then again you remembered telling him, or his shadow, that.

“The intel first, to see if it's worth it” you tried to laugh your urge to kill someone, “I know the name of the man your daughter got sold to, he's down here" he took a sip of his tea, "He's in the mafia district, I know where his base of operations is".

"I… want to see him first, hear from him what he did with my daughter, even if it hurts" he hummed in understanding, reaching your hand, giving you a reassurance squeeze.

"Again, thank you Alastor, you...have no idea how much I appreciate this" he smiled, the shadows that conformed the chair you sat on elevated you and with a swift movement you fell gently on Alastor’s lap. "Show me” ‘fucking narcissist’ you thought, bringing your hand to cup his cheek.

When your lips merged with his, time didn’t mattered, it in fact went a lot slower. He embraced your waist with one arm, bringing you closer if that was possible, his other one secured your back and neck in place, grasping a fistful of your hair once or twice.

He sensed his mental sanity left his body when he felt your hand on the back of his head, caressing ever so lightly, going down to the rim of his shirt, respecting the limit he wanted to eliminate.

He felt a little brave, comfortable with the interaction, the white shirt carefully tucked into your pants was lifted, allowing Alastor’s hand to roam around your back, feeling the corset laces, playing with them.

"Don't do that if you're not going to do something about it" you warned, your forehead in touch with his. Alastor’s smile softened, “I’m not partial to physical touch” he started, “You’ve made that clear” you giggled, pecking his cheek, earning a content sigh from him.

“Somehow you… how to put it? Make me desire it, to have you nearer than I accustom” you blinked a few times, your hand went back to his cheek, softly making your way to his hair, “I don’t understand why, nor this feeling, would you help me dearest?” He had closed his eyes when your hand touched him again, but at the end of his question he opened them.

Having known well the desire faces of countless men, you knew that what Alastor was begging for was not any sexual impulse, but closeness, warmth, softness. The pleasure that only a person who burns for another can deliver.

You weren't sure if you could provide him with such a feeling, however the guilt of having denied him your sympathy for fear of becoming too attached dissipated for a second.

His face got close once again, his eyes asking for permission, without wasting any more time you let him introduce his tongue into your mouth, a passion that ignited a flame of desire that ran through your entire body.

He pulled apart, “May I?” He referred to the bulletproof corset you were wearing. After nodding your head, he deftly undid the slats that held your torso together, as well as unbuttoned your shirt and removed the leather straps over your shoulders.

He seemed to pay no attention to the snake tattoo clutching your arm, making its way to in between your breast.

Exposed from the waist up, but that wasn't going to be uneven. You asked the same thing, your hands playing with the hem of his shirt, occasionally touching his Adam's apple to rile him up.

You knew he was unsure, but he nodded nonetheless. He kissed you again as he felt you letting his coat fall from his shoulders, as well as the leather cross that adorned his chest, and then one button at a time his shirt opened, until you had a clear view once again of the scars. under his fine fur, the already healed battle wound and his thin but strong torso.

His hands then touched a series of indentations on your skin, long and repetitive, almost all of the same length, spreading across your skin to a little below your shoulders. When he wanted to stop kissing you to take a look, you held his face against the back of the chair, "Don't make me feel like damaged goods, don't pay attention to what you're touching, okay?" You didn't want to see him feel sorry for you, for once you wanted to enjoy the attention without thinking about your past.

He obeyed your wishes. Standing up from the chair, with you up with him, in a flash of green, he laid you down on a dark red fabric, he had materialized a bed on his room.

His hands caressed from your shoulders to your breasts, perhaps admiring the shape or the softness, but more than anything, what made Alastor make sighs of pleasure was leaving small kisses and bites from your neck to the space between your breast.

The small electric sensations made you cling to his shoulders, fighting any urge to accidentally scratch him. Purposedly, returning to your face level, he pressed his groin against your core, a yelp escaped your throat, a sound that to his ears was heavenly.

“Take the cover off” He knew you used a dental cover over your fangs, mostly to avoid cutting your tongue or lips, “You want me to bite you?” he chuckled, his face adorned with a lustful glint, “I want you to devour me, chérie” with a snap of his fingers, he made it go away, leaving it on a tiny box on the shelf on top of the fireplace.

He left his collarbone exposed and free for you, raising his body a little higher, taking the opportunity to lick the sensitive edge of your ear. His breath caught as your teeth embedded in the curve where his shoulder and neck meet. When he was able to breathe again he exhaled shakily, causing your cervix to tingle.

Ecstasy, that was the word that came to Alastor's mind after trying to rationalize. His knees trembled, but he felt strong enough to lift your body and move you from the edge of the bed, towards the center, your head resting on one of the pillows.

Something that he could not do in life, but because it never occurred to him that he would need it, try the pleasures of skin. He moved down your body, hands on your belt, he again asked for your permission and with a smile you nodded. His constant questioning was refreshing, no one was interested in asking you if you wanted to be defiled, however, he was different.

Like the show man he is, he traveled down to your feet, pulling one up his shoulder, as he unzip your boots and felt all undergarments discarded on the edge of the bed. Never breaking eye contact as he did.

He also undid his pants, allowing you to see the red streak of hair that went down his bellybutton to the groomed part over his groin. He was big, the color of his skin matching the cream hue on his face, only lighter.

“I’ve never done this before” he confessed, ears to his sides, “You want me to take the lead?” you asked, not mocking but trying assure him it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about, “Tell me how can I pleasure you” your own ears went down embarrassed, “You don’t have to go down on me, but the path has to be opened, you can do it with your fingers”.

He hummed, burring his face in your neck as his hand went down your stomach, passing over your clit to go in between your folds, finding your wet entrance. You gasped, he rid of his claws as he introduced one finger.

Your hands flew to his back, alarming him a little, “It’s okay, it just…been a while, I kind of forgot the feeling” your face was flushed, too embarrassed to look at him in the eye. He continued a soft pumping motion, nipping on your neck as he did. Relishing on the gasps and moans that left your throat. He continued that way until he was able to add three fingers, and by the then your insides squeezed him tightly, then your back arched as you emitted a loud high gasp.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t hold it anymore, it felt so good, I’m sorry” he kissed your tears away, “I’m actually quite flattered I was able to pleasure you to the point of finishing just with my fingers” he made you laugh, “Al, please, I need you inside” your whole body was shaking as he touched you.

“With pleasure, ma belle vie” He positioned the tip on the edge, sending shivers up his spine. Little by little he pushed himself inside, all the way to the rim.

He waited for some kind of confirmation despite his urge to move, although he found your hips grinding on his was enough of a clue to continue.

His pace started off slow and gentle, when you pulled his face back for a kiss, something inside of him snaped. “Y/n” He brought your knees higher on his sides, making you press against his skin.

His eyes went black, his antlers and body increased in size, and so did his dick as he was still inside you. Not enough to rip you apart, but considerably bigger than at the beginning.

Alastor's mind suddenly switched off, wandering in darkness for a few seconds, “Alastor! Ah!” before your loud whine brought him to clarity again.

He looked down on you, "Are you alright?" On the inside he was worried out of his mind, but he tried to seem - in his own words- cool, as he asked.

Tears ran down your eyes, your skin was sweaty and flushed, you were panting and moaning as you tried to make up an answer. He felt your legs trembling against his skin. “Something like that” you said out of breath, a week smile on your face.

"Please don't stop now, I'm very close" he wanted to please you, but when he looked down at in between your legs, as he decreased in size, his dick was now soft and leaking.

"I think it won't be possible dearest" you shook your head with a soft smile, "Don't you worry, come here" he didn't noticed how much of his strength his orgasm took away, until he relaxed his body nuzzling into yours.

“Are you sure it’s enough?” since you had already came twice, you felt that you didn’t need to be greedy, after all, it was his first time. “I’m sure” to your eyes he truly seemed happy.

It warmed your heart when he hid his face on the crook of your neck, looping his arms around your waist and legs intertwined with yours. "I suppose after this you won’t be allowing me to touch you for a week” he sighed, “Most likely” you felt comfortable, happy, his was another type of warmth, “Y/n” he spoke, kissing the red marks he left on your skin.

“I’m sorry for what I said, I really am” spotting his ear, you seized the opportunity to nip at it, gently but with a little force that caused him to dig his nails on your hips, and let out a whine.

“What was that for?” he pushed himself off to hover on top of you, not necessarily angry but bothered and hot, “To piss you off” he groaned at your amused expression, not having any fun with it despite his permanent smile, “You’re more than forgiven, will you accompany me to pay the mobster a visit?” he sighed, lowering himself to kiss your lips before whispering against them, “It will be my pleasure, darling”.

You two agreed to stay a little bit more time in bed before attempting to shower, despite his wish to take a bath with you, he felt too overstimulated to allow any more touch, which you respected.  

Little did you know, that the king found himself making a mess inside his pants, as he had watched the whole thing from the rim of the door. With the aid of his wings he scurried back to his room, his hand going up and down his dick in an attempt to soothe the aching.

“Y/n” he repeated, panting. In his mind he saw himself taking hold of your hips, your hair, hands, breast. Holding your whole being against him. He thought he knew angelic chorus sounds, until your moans proved him wrong.

His breath hitched cumming a second time into his hand, “Fucking bell hop, fucking bastard” he hit the back of his head against the wall he was leaning in.

The painting of his wife on the wall made him feel guilty about what he had done. Masturbate thinking about someone else? he had never thought about it when she was away. He didn't even have the strength to do it anyway.

At the end of a mental torture, he concluded that the kiss you gave him last night was not enough, he was going to make sure he didn’t lost you to Alastor, he just had to figure how to convince you to want to live.

-----------------------------------

Stay tuned ;3.

Part 8

[suuuupernovaaa]

tìsraw seyki

tìsraw seyki [tɪ.ˈsɾaw sɛj.ˈk·i] vtr. hurt (someone or something)

Anonymous Request: I was wondering if you could do a fic with reader and Neteyam having an argument with Neteyam calling the reader clingy? She’s known for being quiet and reserved and was shy at the start of their relationship, and it took a while for her to open up, so it hits her pretty hard. They make up and stuff but reader keeps her distance bcos she took his comment seriously, and Neteyam isn’t aware of how much his words hurt her.

1,560 words

I dismounted 'Rrta, my Iran, and gave her a loving hug before ensuring the saddle was tight and bidding her a farewell for now.

My riding partner, Neteyam, was already walking away when I turned to join him.

"Wait up," I called, scaling rocks to reach him. I reached out, grabbing his shoulder, but for the first time since I'd known him, Neteyam shrugged off my hand.

I stopped in my tracks, and felt my body tense all over.

"Neteyam?" I asked.

"I need a little space, Y/N. Stop clinging to me. I'll see you later."

He didn't even do me the courtesy of turning around when he said it. He simply stalked away, down the mountain and into the forest, leaving me there alone.

I waited for a long time before moving, to ensure I wouldn't catch up with him, and all the while I wondered what I could have possibly done wrong.

Stop clinging to me.

Was that something I was doing? Neteyam and I spent a lot of our time together, that was to be sure... but I thought he enjoyed spending time with me. In fact, he had taken great pains to ensure I thought that. I was naturally pretty reserved, and not very trusting, and Neteyam had worked hard over months and months to convince me his feelings were genuine, to show me how much he cared for me.

So why this change now? What had changed his mind about me? Had he just gotten to know me better and realized I was annoying, clingy, and not fun to be around?

He could have at least told me that.

It was nearly dark when I returned home, and tucked myself in my hammock to cry myself to sleep.

--

Neteyam found me the next morning, setting out for a hunt, by myself.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I raised my brow at him. "Hunt. See you later."

Turning, I strapped my bow over my chest, and made to take off, but Neteyam grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry, about yesterday. I was annoyed at Lo'ak and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that."

He seemed genuine, and he looked sorry... so I nodded. "It's okay. I'll see you later."

His apology was not enough to cover the damage that his words the day before had done. I didn't believe him - if he was annoyed at Lo'ak, there was no need to ask me for space or call me clingy. It felt like an excuse, and I wasn't ready to dig deeper and hear the real reason he'd said it.

So, I turned and ran, and he didn't follow.

--

"She's just been... weird," Neteyam said to his sister, Kiri, a few days later. The two were walking together, back from a long ride, and Neteyam was concerned.

Ever since their fight, which Neteyam had thought was so small, Y/N had been distant with him. She had accepted his apology, but he'd hardly seen her since, and when he had, something had seemed so strange about her.

She barely touched him. Her smile didn't meet her eyes. She just seemed... really sad.

"Has she said anything to you?"

Kiri shook her head. "Didn't you say you had a fight?"

"Yeah, but, I thought we got past it." Neteyam pushed a large leaf out of his way, and held it for his sister. "I said I was sorry, and she said it was okay."

"What was the fight?" Kiri asked.

"Well, you remember that day that Lo'ak was a huge pain in the ass?"

Kiri rolled her eyes. "Every day."

Neteyam laughed. "Right but, it was particularly bad, and I got my ass chewed for it. And then Y/N wanted to go on a ride but, I just wasn't in the mood. She insisted though, because we hadn't seen each other all day. So I went but, afterwards, I told her I wanted to be alone."

Kiri pursed her lips as they walked through the muggy jungle. "Is that all you said?"

"I said she had been clinging to me."

Kiri stopped in her tracks. "You did not."

"What? Was that bad?"

Kiri put her face in her hands and sighed. "Neteyam, you moron. Do you really not see what the problem is?"

Arms outstretched, Neteyam shook his head. "No!"

"You moron!" Kiri repeated. "Y/N is so shy, and so quiet, and it took you so long to get her to open up to you! You complained for months about how she probably didn't like you because she was so nervous and shy, and I told you so many times she was just having a hard time trusting you. And you finally get her to trust you, and you do this? You make her think that you think she's annoying?"

Neteyam's mouth full open and he leaned back, the realization washing over him. "Shit."

"So she probably thinks you don't like her anymore, and she's so hurt she can't even be around you. And you're here complaining to me about it instead of groveling at her feet! Do you love her or not?"

Neteyam felt like a hand was squeezing his heart. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Y/N, and he couldn't believe how stupid and careless his words had been. He didn't think she was clingy, he had just lashed out in frustration after a really bad day, instead of letting her be there for him.

He had shown her what a bad made he would be. He had disappointed her, and himself.

He took off without another word, running as fast as he could to find his woman.

--

It had been such a hot day, a swim in a cool spring was exactly what I needed. I scrubbed myself from head to toe, undoing my braids and scrubbing my scalp, until I felt fresh and brand new.

I lay in the water now, only my face above the surface, so I didn't hear him at first when he approached.

He was entering the water when I opened my eyes and saw him. A few days ago, I would have felt nothing but excitement upon seeing Neteyam - now, I felt dread. Would this be the time he would tell me he was no longer interested?

I'd been avoiding him for this very reason. I wasn't ready for it to end.

"Neteyam," I said, sitting up so the water came almost to my shoulders, and pulled my knees to my chest.

"Y/N! I have been searching for hours. We need to talk."

I bit my lip and turned away, trying to force the tears from spilling over. "Okay."

Neteyam knelt in front of me. "I owe you an apology, Y/N. I can't... I can't believe how careless I was with my words, and I can't believe I didn't realize how much I'd hurt you until today. I've been wondering why you've been distant but, I didn't even think..." He shook his head, and reached under the water, grabbing my hands. "I should have thought before I spoke. Y/N, I don't think you cling to me... well, you do, but it's something that I like. These past few days without you have been the worst of my life. I'd rather be tortured. I was in a bad mood, and it wasn't your fault, but I took it out on you. I know I destroyed the trust we worked so hard together to build up. I'm willing to do all that work again, to show you how much I love you."

I had failed - the tears had spilled over, but they weren't born of sadness. I leaned forward and got up onto my knees, so that I was more level with Neteyam, and pressed my head into his chest.

Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him, creating a ripple of waves around us.

The relief I felt was overwhelming. Going from being so sure I was going to lose the best thing in my life to even more sure I was going to get to keep it, it was like whiplash.

I cried and Neteyam held me tightly while I did, whispering reassurances in my ear all the while.

Eventually, we stood up and got out of the water, and Neteyam helped me get dressed.

"Neteyam," I said as he fastened my beaded necklace, "I forgive you. And I'm sorry, too. I should have told you what was bothering me, but I was so scared that you had changed your mind, I was just, um, avoiding you so you couldn't break up with me."

Neteyam shook his head violently. "Bah! Never." He took my face gently into his hands, bringing it closely to his. "You are to be my mate, Y/N. I will never leave you. You can always trust me, and you can always tell me when I've hurt you. Apparently, I'm too dumb to figure it out alone."

I smiled. "Kiri had to tell you?"

He laughed. "She did."

He kissed me then, holding me tight. It seemed we both owed Kiri a thank you. I knew it wasn't the first time she had talked sense into one of her brothers, nor would it be the last.

[strongheartneteyam]

I wet you like water but she stained you like blood.

Pairing: widowed!dilf!jake sully x younger!female!human!reader

CW: slight sexual language, can be triggering to some, heartbreak, age gap kink, hurt/no comfort, age gap relationship problems, angst, reader reminiscing (pls tell me if I missed anything) 

So, yeah... I never know when I'm gonna come back with another writing. My hiatus n working periods are all a bit unpredictable lol sorry. Anyways... I literally spent the whole night awake n I was struck by a sudden lightning of creativity early in the morning and I edited this chapter n wrote a bit more, but I still haven't slept at all, so, I apologize if some parts of this make no sense at all. I'll fix it when I can. Hope you guys like it <3 ily guys a whole lot :)) obs: this chapter is a shorter one.

Slightly proofread.

Chapter 4 𓆩♡𓆪

They say all's well that ends well

But I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine

And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

All Too Well - 10 minutes Version (Taylor Swift)

𓆩♡𓆪

It had been 1 year since the last time you saw Jacob Sully. Or Jakey, like you used to call him. The wound never healed. It still throbbed and bled every time you remembered the words he told you that dreadful day. "I think we should stop seeing each other." It felt like you would never get over him. How can one get over such an overpowering, raw feeling? He marked you forever, like a bruise that seemed to never disappear from your skin.

The flashback came like thunder in a storm, haunting your thoughts with a loud pain that echoed through your mind. What you told Jake that night.

“The truth is I love you. The truth is I can't take this anymore. I'm giving you my everything but you don't seem to be doing the same. You're still guarded.” There was a tense period of silence “Jake… I love you. But I don't think you feel the same.”

Maybe you shouldn't have said anything. Maybe if you had kept your mouth shut, he would still be with you.

Ugh!! Stop that, now, (y/n)! Some self love, please? You're better than this. You deserve better.

You tried to convince yourself of that, at least.

The pain was unbearable at times and almost easy to conceal at other times. It depended on how distracted with work or your studies you were. These days you ran to any distraction that could ease the perpetual angst that squeezed your heart inside its hands all the fucking time. It had been like that ever since Jake left you. What were you expecting anyway? You should have known you were never truly loved by Jake. The love of his life was Neytiri and it would always be, alive and walking through Pandora or dead and with Eywa.

It felt beyond weird to have to hear people talking about Jake and have to pretend he was a stranger to you, someone you barely knew, when he had actually left a mark so strong on you, a memory ingrained in your brain, a feeling, a pain buried inside your heart that made you want to scream and hit your head against a wall. That's how much it hurt.

You would never have his body against yours again, warming you up when it was cold, after you spent the whole day in that damn lab, studying Pandoran plants but all you could really concentrate on was how much you missed his reassuring, protective presence. He made you feel safe for the first time in your life. But now he is gone. Just like every single good thing you ever had in your life. But you know what? Maybe your mother was right, maybe love wasn't really something that could ever last forever.

Did Jake ever really make a real effort to be with you? Thinking back, it was extremely easy for him to just come to you and fuck you anytime he felt sad and lonely. What if you had just been a naive, dumb girl all this time? Were you mourning a love that never actually existed? It was always so hard to talk to him about his feelings for you, he never actually let you in, to be honest. All the time you two spent together, you were never able to know if he ever saw you as a partner or just a fuck buddy. 

Oh, but the high… it was worth all the lows. The butterflies in your stomach every time you guys were almost caught fucking in the back of your work room by Norm. Eventually you guys had to tell him about your situationship because, oh well… he already knew what was going on, really. Norm is not a fool or a child. He could add 2 plus 2.

The adrenaline was worth all the tears. And, fuck… you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

𓆩♡𓆪

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[damiansgoodgirll]

HI!!! Hi hi! I must say! Big fan, literally found your account the other day and have been reading like crazy. I was wondering if I could request a soft Damian like maybe waking up with him or cuddling with him. Just anything fluffy and sweet to do with him. Thank you so much!!

thank you so much for the support!🫶🏻

damian priest x reader

soft for you

you were the only one to 100% know damian. he had this personality with other people where he would show his hard look and he would never show his feelings but with you, he was a completely different person.

making you happy was his priority in life. he wanted to protect you from the bad things of the world, he wanted to show you what real love felt like, he was the one you always went when you had problems, even way before you started dating.

he took things slowly with you. he wanted you to feel special and he didn’t want to screw it all up. he didn’t care if it would take months to win your heart, he wanted everything to be perfect just for you.

what people didn’t know was that damian was probably the most clingy and cuddly person ever. every morning you would wake up in his arms and he would never leave you - not even if you had to pee.

but there were specific mornings where for no reason he wanted to leave the bed. and this morning was one of those.

you slowly opened your eyes, expecting the sun to lighting up the room, instead you were met with a dark atmosphere. you thought that maybe it was still nighttime but when you saw the alarm signing that it was actually 8.30 am you realised that it was a really sad and grey day.

you loved days like that. clouds, soft rain hitting your windows, a few thunders in background. you just loved it and you couldn’t help but relax a little more into damian’s arms.

“good morning…” he whispered into your neck. he slowly opened his eyes and when he realised it was raining, he couldn’t help the smile forming on his face.

“what’s that smile mr priest?” you teased him.

“it’s raining…” he pointed out.

“yes, i see that” you whispered back.

“that means we’re not leaving this bed…we’re gonna stay here and sleep a few more hours, then you’ll stay here while i make some lunch and for last we’re gonna eat a lot of delicious food while watching some movies…and i won’t take a no, this is gonna be our day” he said moving a little so he could face you. his eyes showing you how much he cared for you and how bad he wanted this day to go the way he planned.

“that sounds perfect…” you smiled.

your hair all over your face, you probably looked the worst but damian’s eyes were on your face, admiring how pretty you were in the morning.

“you’re so beautiful amor” he whispered, leaning towards you and kissing your head. he was a softy, especially in the morning.

“i look a mess” you joked “no one looks pretty in the morning”

“you do…” he whispered and moved to kiss your lips softly. his hand moving to your cheek and his thumb gently caressing your face.

you melted every single time he kissed you.

“i wanna feel you closer…” he whispered. there was nothing sexual - you exactly knew what he meant. feeling your skin on his was one of the ways he showed you how much he loved you.

he laid on the bed, helping you over his naked chest. his hands went to move your t-shirt up, not to leave you naked, just to show a little bit of skin so you could lay on top of him. your legs between his bigger ones and his hands went to softly stroke your bare back.

“go back to sleep hermosa, i’ll be here when you wake up” he whispered when he saw you slowly closing your eyes.

damian might have been a scary for some people but you knew he had a soft spot for you and you only.

[asunsetgrace16]

Died of a Broken Heart ⎥ NM29

Pairing: Nathan MacKinnon x fem!reader

Summary: It turns out that it is possible to die of a broken heart

Warnings: sad sad sad, swearing,

Notes: I take it back. Kind of. I don't think my groove is entirely back, or maybe it was just the fics I was working on. I wrote this in four hours around midnight and this is my first attempt at writing something sad. I will say that it was hard to not cry writing this, so hopefully 🤞 you guys feel some emotions too. There isn't much dialogue in the beginning. Also, broken heart syndrome is in fact a real thing

masterlist ⎥ navigation

Word Count: 3.7k

Nate is numb. He’s been numb since about 10:30 last night, when the police knocked on his door. He had been home for 20 minutes max, having just gotten back from Cale’s house, supper with him and Gabe and Mikko. Tracey was up in Calgary for a few days. Y/N had dinner plans with her work friends, it was Shannon’s birthday. The world tilted on its axis as he was told that Y/N was killed. They soberly tell him what happened forty-five minutes ago. Hit-and-run…they are looking for the driver…happened in the restaurant parking lot…no, she was the only one. Nate’s pretty sure he stops breathing, because he feels a firm hand on his elbow guiding him back into his house, coaxing him to take deep breaths. Blood rushes in his ears, and he thinks, Australia, their honeymoon. He lifts a hand to wipe his face. When did he start crying? 

The police stay for a while, watching him carefully until they are sure he won’t spiral into a panic attack, ironic all things considered. When he is semi-into it, they explain everything again. 

Ok,” Nate says, “would you...you mind, um, coming back in the morning? I need to hear this once some of the shock wears off.” His voice is quiet and strained. He doesn’t fight the tears silently rolling down his cheeks. They agree to his request, leaving with a handshake and squeeze on the shoulder, hints of agony shining through their masks of professionalism.

Nate stays sitting at his kitchen table, head in his hands. Sobs shake his body, uncontrollable and awful. He cries so hard he thinks he might cry himself sick. Eventually, he leans back, face twisted with emotion and damp with tears. Slowly, he heads to bed. Each movement is mechanical. He tosses and turns, his sleep is plagued by once-sweet memories of Y/N turned into cruel reminders that she was ripped from him.

Eventually he gives up and moves to the guest bedroom. He cries more, more than he ever has. He wants Y/N, he wants to kiss her, and hold her, and take her to games and-.

-

Next thing Nate knows, he is waking up to the sun streaming through the curtains. He is confused at first, the stiffness of the bed isn't what his bed feels like. As he opens his eyes, last night comes rushing back. He doesn’t want to believe it. They had just started their life together, with promises of love and kids and 60 more years. The tears start again, slower than the previous night but no less gut-wrenching. Reluctantly he heads to the bathroom. He looks worse than imagined. Red and puffy eyes that unfortunately make the blue pop, pale skin and chapped lips. Nate’s hands shake as he splashes water on his face. 

Taking a deep breath, he tries to get some semblance of a list to make sense in his mind. He shoots off a vague text to Bedsy, letting him know that he might be late for practice, not knowing how long the police will take. 

It turns out that it only takes half an hour. The same officers from the night before knock on Nate’s door at 7:30, introducing themselves and Parker and Walker. They recount the night before in more detail. Y/N was killed at 9:48 pm, during a hit-and-run in the restaurant parking lot. She was the only one, none of her friends were even injured. They tell Nate that it was an instant death, painless…that she didn’t suffer. Nate is frozen in his chair, back ramrod straight and hands clasped tightly. Walker leaves a copy of his first report, and his phone number in case Nate has questions. He walks them out, shaking their hands and thanking them for coming over again.

Returning to the kitchen, he pulls out a notepad and pen. Nate lists off the things he needs to do. Call his parents. Call Y/N’s parents. Call the funeral home. Talk to C-Mac and Bedsy and the team. Get through practice. 

He decides to wait on calling his parents, saving that for the afternoon. Same with the funeral home. He is in a daze the whole time he prepares for practice. He makes his usual protein drink, but he thinks that he used orange juice instead of water. Nate’s not sure. He also isn’t entirely sure how he made it to the arena without running a red light.

His whole walk to Bedsy’s office is stressful. He dreads the thought of having to have this conversation more than once. He knocks on the open door, seeing C-Mac there as well. 

“Hey Nate, I got your text.” Bedsy starts, looking at Nate, concerned, “You ok? Respectfully, you look like shit.”

“Feel like it too. Can uh, both of you come down to the dressing room? Like now? I have some, some uh,” Nate stops, swallowing, “some news, and I want to say it as few times as possible.”

“Sure, all right.” Bednar and C-Mac glance at each other, worried. They’ve seen Nate be not ok before, but this is new. Nate is silent during their trek to the dressing room, still holding his orange juice and green protein powder monstrosity. Bedsy opens the door, gesturing for Nate to go through first.

“Hey Nate, you forgot your jacket at mine last night. You didn’t pick up when I called.” Cale tells him. Nate is standing where Bedsy usually stands.

“Uh…ok thanks, Cale. I was um…I was a little preoccupied last night. Sorry” He responds. His voice is shaking, his hands are shaking, Bedsy and C-Mac are getting increasingly concerned and Nate feels on the verge of a panic attack.

Cale grins suggestively at him, “Ohhh, I see, I see how it is. Getting a little lovin’ on with Y/N I s-”

Nate interrupts abruptly, cutting straight to the chase, “Y/N is dead. She’s dead.”

The whole locker room freezes. Cale’s jaw drops. Someone's water bottle hits the floor.

“Holy shit-” 

“Oh my god.”

“Nate, you need to sit down.”

The voices swirl and blend around him. Nate’s vision loses focus, and cotton balls are stuffed in his ears. Hands find his elbows, easing him into a stall. Someone kneels in front of him. Nate stares, glassy eyes unseeing. 

Slowly, he comes back. His throat is raw and scratchy and he needs water. Mikko tosses over a water bottle and a clean, damp towel.

“Start from the beginning, Nate.” Jo urges softly.

So Nate recounts the story. The entire team is close around him as he repeats what he was told this morning and last night. Their faces reflect the horror and agony Nate feels. Tears fall when he says that her death was instant. He hears sniffles from somewhere, and everyone else is crying now, too.

“It’s good,” he says, “knowing that she wasn’t in pain, but it is awful knowing that there was no chance of saving her.” His voice breaks, he covers his mouth with a hand sobs as quietly as he can. Cale hugs one side and Jo’s on the other. Once the tears slow, he takes the towel that Mikko’s holding. 

“Practice is canceled, today and tomorrow.” Bednar says, “I don’t want Nate to be left alone. Cale, Jo, Mikko, go with him and grab Gabe too. I will talk to the league, see about rescheduling the game tomorrow. I will have to tell them, Nate.”

“No, you guys play. Say I’m out day to day or something. A practice muscle strain.” Nate objects.

“Nate, your wife died less than twelve hours ago. We will not be playing hockey. I’ll phone in and say we forfeit. I will tell Bettman that the news doesn’t go out until you, me, and C-Mac give an interview.”

“Ok.”

-

The afternoon follows a similar pattern. Cale drives Nate home, Jo phones Gabe. Mel brings soup when she comes with Gabe. She folds Nate into a hug as he cries. He makes the excruciating phone call to his parents and hers. Cale smartly suggests doing a triple call so there’s only one conversation. 

“Where should I bury her?” Nate asks, “Here, or should she be back home?”

“Nate, her home has been with you for years. Keep her close to you.” Y/N’s dad tells him. Nate nods forgetting that they can’t actually see him. Gabe takes notes while they discuss the funeral over the phone. Granite headstone, brown casket, service at St. Andrew’s and burial in the graveyard nearby. The reception will be held in the hall near Nate’s house. He doesn’t want people in his house. The date is set for March 5th. 

The media has a field day upon the announcement that the Avs have forfeited their game against the Stars. Sid calls him within a minute.

Nate forces the team to play their next game three days later on February 28th. It’s at home against Buffalo. They lose in an uncharacteristic fashion, so much so that the Buffalo players notice something is really wrong.

Gabe takes care of most of the funeral arrangements, and Nate is forever grateful. He meets with the funeral director, sending with him the clothes he picked out for Y/N to be buried in. Before he leaves, he hands Nate a box.

Opening it, Nate finds her purse. Her phone. A box with her wedding rings. Jo finds him with shaking shoulders and his head in his hands.

On March 2nd, a week after Y/N died, Nate asks for a press conference. The Avs lost both games they played in that week, with Nate a very conspicuous absence. Bedsy asks over and over if Nate is sure that he wants to go through with it.

“I’m sure. It won’t be a secret for much longer.” Nate says. Bedsy just nods. The trio of Nate, Bedsy, and C-Mac file into the media room.

Nate starts, wanting to get this over with as fast as possible. “I’m aware you all have been wondering where I have been this past week.”

The reporters nod. Nate takes a deep breath.

“On February 23rd, I received news. News that my wife was killed in a hit and run accident. It happened in a restaurant parking lot as she was heading to her car.” He stops as hands fly up. C-Mac picks someone.

“Nate, I am very sorry for your loss. Is this why the game was forfeited last week?”

“Yes, it was. It was a shock to all of us, and none of us were in any condition or mental state to play.”

“How is this going to affect the rest of your season?”

Nate scoffs quietly. His wife is dead and they are concerned with hockey. “I have decided to take an extended leave of absence from the team. I won’t be playing in the game tomorrow night, nor will I be for the rest of the season. My life was completely torn apart a week ago, I have more important things right now. I do ask that I be left alone right now, no reporters at my house or on the street. I want privacy.”

With that, Nate walks out. Cale is waiting to drive him home and he takes one look at Nate and pulls him in for a hug. He is tired of crying and tired of people saying they are sorry and tired of missing Y/N and tired of being tired.

-

No. 1 

February 24, 9:09 pm

Nate: Hey guys, I have some news.  Davo: Period at the end of the sentence. This won’t be good Nate: Y/N was killed last night, hit and run Sid: Oh my god, Nate Sid: Are you ok? Were you hurt? Davo: Oh shit Nate: I’m fine, but I guess that’s relative right now Nate: I wasn’t there. She went to dinner with friends. It happened in the parking lot Auston: I am so sorry, man. I realize that that is probably not what you want or need to hear, but I don’t know what else to say Nate: No no, it's ok. I appreciate it. I think I’m still in shock, so not much room for anything other that devastated right now Ryan: Is there anything we can do? Nate: No, not right now. Funeral’s on the 5th, if anyone wants to come. My place is full, but any of the guys would let you stay with them Sid: Of course we want to come, it's just a matter of whether we can Ryan: Even if any of us play, once the news is out most teams will probably want a player there for support Davo: I checked and it's in the middle of a break for us. Ryan and I will be there, Leon too probably Jack: We’re out west on a road trip, but I could try and pull some strings to come. Nico will try to be there too Owen: We are at the end of a homestand that day, but I’ll probably get to come. Can’t do much worse than we already are Owen: That was bad, sorry. Lame-ass excuse for a joke Nate: Don’t be. It almost made me not frown. Thank you Juraj: I’ll be there. We are in LA the day before. Newy will want to come Baby Connor: I’ve got a break before our trip down there. I’ll be there. Dammit why am I baby Connor again? Nate: Cause you are a baby. I really appreciate it, guys. Thank you Baby Connor: Dude obviously. You can’t just drop the worst news of your life and not expect your number 1 buddies to rally the troops and support you Nate: The kid’s gonna kill us all. I didn’t need to cry again but everything makes me cry now, I guess Baby Connor: Oh my god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to Nate: I know, just messing with you

-

The funeral goes perfectly. Nate’s and Y/N’s parents arrived a few days ago and have been staying with him. It’s a comfort to have them there, though most days he feels like he’s wading through quicksand. There is usually a teammate there, or two. Sid flies in the day before, same with all the guys from the groupchat. Naz comes from Calgary. EJ and Tyson come, and other Tyson and Bo make the trip out with Owen. Alex comes with Juraj. Nate spends the day crying silent tears and hugging more people than he cares to remember. Mikko, Cale, EJ, Jo, Tyson, and Sid are pallbearers at the funeral. He gives a speech, short as he can get away with. His voice breaks and wavers the whole time. Y/N’s parents and Nate’s say a few words, and the priest reads the eulogy. 

The weather is mild for the burial, Nate almost wishes it was miserable. The day passes in a daze, making awkward small talk with people he barely knows, Thankfully they leave within an hour. The rest of the people there manage to lift the mood a little and Nate moves from crying to barely frowning. Connor Bedard sticks close to him most of the time. Nate is grateful for him, he’s a good kid with a good heart. He hugs Connor extra hard before he leaves to catch his flight to Utah.

-

“Nate!” Cale calls, knocking on his door again. He’s normally never late, but things still aren’t normal. Nate was the one who suggested that they go skate, not practice, but just to skate. A change of scenery. Cale finally gives up and digs his key out of his pocket. He’s a little confused when he sees that none of the lights are on. Nate hasn’t been himself, but this is weird. Nate’s dog Aspen appears from the hallway. 

“Hey buddy, where’s Nate?” Cale asks him. Aspen circles Cale once before heading back towards Nate’s bedroom. Cale follows him. Nate’s door is shut tight and Aspen has his nose shoved in the corner. Opening the door, Aspen bounds to Nate’s side, where he looks to be still asleep. He whines, getting his nose under Nate’s hand.

“Oh my god.” Cale whispers. Nate is a shade of gray no living person should ever be. “Oh my god.” He moves to the bed. Nate is cool when Cale touches his wrist. He fumbles for his phone, dialing 911 when he doesn’t find a pulse.

-

“Sid…” Kathy calls up the stairs, “Get down here, you have to see this.”

Sidney hustles down at the tone of her voice. Kathy is standing behind the couch, remote gripped in one hand. He stands behind her, hand on her waist. Her hand drops the remote, coming up to cover her mouth as they hear the news.

"... and now we have saddening news coming from Denver, Colorado. It is with our deepest condolences that we announce the death of NHL star, Nathan MacKinnon. He was found early this morning after failing to meet teammate Cale Makar, for morning skate. Makar called 911 when he found MacKinnon in bed after he didn’t answer the door. According to law enforcement agencies, MacKinnon died peacefully at home overnight, but suddenly, with no chance of resuscitation once they arrived on the scene. His death comes just weeks after the death of his wife, Y/N. What this means for the Avalanche and the rest of the season, we don’t know. More, after the break.” 

Sid thumbs open his phone to the news app. Every headline is the same variation of announcing Nate’s death. Tears fall on the screen.

Colorado Avalanche teammates of Nathan MacKinnon, coach Jared Bednar, yet to speak on the star’s sudden death.

Breaking News: NHL Superstar Nathan MacKinnon, dead at 29. What does this mean for the Avalanche?

“The NHL offers its deepest sympathies and condolences to Nathan and Y/N MacKinnon’s families during this time of tragedy.”

“Nathan MacKinnon, announced dead this morning weeks after his wife, Y/N MacKinnon, was tragically killed…”

Details about Nathan MacKinnon’s death are expected soon.

-

THE COLORADO SUN

Details emerge on the death of Colorado Avalanche star Nathan MacKinnon

J.P Burrow, 12:00 pm March 30th, 2025

Four weeks ago, the hockey world was shocked when Nathan MacKinnon, 29, appeared in a press conference after being notably and unusually absent from two home games, both lost in depressing fashion to weaker teams. What he revealed that day was the furthest thing from what anybody expected.

We were told that a week prior, MacKinnon’s wife Y/N, 27, was killed in a hit-and-run car accident. Her funeral was three days later. Understandably, MacKinnon withdrew from the public. His teammates were a constant source of support, but that only goes so far when grieving your spouse. He decided to take the rest of the season off.

MacKinnon and Y/N were married for three years, and together for nearly ten. They were fan-favorites throughout the league, despite them being notoriously private. MacKinnon never smiled as much as he did when he was talking about his wife. 

Now, thirteen days ago, the world was rocked again when it was announced that MacKinnon was dead. Details surrounding his death have been revealed after an autopsy. The report revealed that his heart sustained damage after Y/N’s death, caused by a sudden, constant surge of adrenaline in the days following. This causes a disruption of blood flow in the heart, similar to a heart attack. It is fittingly called Broken heart syndrome, where the death of a loved one can trigger the condition. Death is rare, but it happens.

We reached out to friends of MacKinnon’s across the league, his own teammates commented in a press conference earlier today.

Connor Bedard: Nate was a close friend of mine, he helped me a lot when I first got into the league. I looked up to him a lot. Once I got to know him outside of hockey, I learned just how amazing of a person he is– was. I was shocked to learn that he died. We had just landed in Denver for our game against them when Cale [Makar] called me.

Sidney Crosby: It was a lot for all of us, the whole month. I’ve been close with Nate for ten years, he's my best friend, so to say that I’m going to miss him is an understatement. I saw how much Y/N dying crushed him, they were made for each other. Hockey was his first love, but Y/N was his true love.

Gabe Landeskog: The season changed for all of us after Y/N died and Nate took time off. There will be no replacing Nate, his skill, his passion…it left a hole. I’m not going to sugarcoat things. This will be really difficult to come back from. It won’t be this season, maybe not even next season, but we are going to fight, for Nate. He would want us to.

-

“He really died of a broken heart.” Cale says before turning to bury his face in his wife’s hair, crying silently. He hasn’t been the same since finding Nate, taking his own leave from the team.

For the second time in a month, the Avalanche and company are reunited, standing in black around a grave beside the one they stood around three and a half weeks earlier, but another person short. Y/N’s headstone will be put in the same day as Nate’s. EJ is holding Aspen’s leash, who took him in when Nate died. He’s retiring, he told everybody when they gathered the second time. The past month reminded him that life is short. He is moving back to Denver to take over Nate’s house. They had found a notebook in his bedside table that had the beginnings of a will written in it. He wanted EJ to have Aspen, and the house if he wanted it. Pictures, his suits, and Y/N's wedding dress were to go to his parents, donate his and Y/N's clothes, and box away his Avalanche gear and ship it to Sid in Nova Scotia. Their wedding rings go to Sid too.

“But now they are together again.” Jo says, smiling through his tears. The thought brings some comfort to them, knowing that Nate has been reunited with the love of his life, and won’t spend the rest of his life missing Y/N.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Right after bob’s death, stevo stays at your place because staying at his was too much. Basically just the reader loving on stevo is all. Their relationship doesn’t really matter as long as its clear that they are soulmates in some capacity. I think stevo just needs to let himself be loved. Grief and depression is horrible to go through alone so its great to have someone who gets it with you as you heal you know?

𝒪𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓎ℴ𝓊

A/n: This was kinda hard to write, but I definitely needed to

Taglist: @abriefnirvana

Warnings: death, angst to fluff, grief

He wiped the tears away as he got into his car, he breathed a shaky breath as he looked at himself in the car mirror. He was disheveled, with a tangled mop of hair and wrinkled clothes.

Stevo's mind raced with thoughts of where to spend the night. And then it hit him - you were the only other person he wanted to be with right now. You would know what to do now.

Without a second thought, he stepped on the gas pedal and raced towards you as fast as his old car could go.

As he rushed towards your apartment, no matter how hard he tried to stop them, the tears streamed down his cheeks while Bad Religion blared on the radio.

He found himself thinking about Bob. Was he a bad friend for leaving him like that? He felt horrible, but he wasn’t sure about what else to do.

The image stayed in his mind, almost causing a crash as his thoughts raced, his hands acting faster than his head.

Finally, after what felt like the longest drive in history, he reached your place. He looked at a bottle of beer on the side of his door, drinking it as if he was a college kid who had just been dared to. He would need it tonight. Then he laid his eyes on someone outside.

As you were taking out the trash, you saw a small baby cat nearby and smiled. You knelt, and the cat shyly approached you. It rubbed against your leg as you looked into its curious eyes and pet it with care.

He stumbled out of his car door, the sound making you turn your head and the cat also turn its head to him.

“Stevo?” you mumbled to yourself. You recognized the blue hair quickly, and he looked at you. He was…crying?

"Stevo," you said, as you dropped your trash on the floor and hurried towards him. He was crying uncontrollably, and when he saw you, he wrapped his arms around you. You were taken aback by the sudden embrace, but you rubbed his back to give him some sort of comfort. "Oh, Stevo," you whispered softly.

He cried, tears staining your shirt as he buried his head in your shoulder. People came outside when they heard the cries.

“You're the only one I have left.” he cried into your shoulder.

“C’mon, let's go inside, okay?” you weren't sure what had happened, but it made your heart break.

You had been lifelong friends since middle school and stuck together like glue. Despite your longstanding feelings for him, you never told him how you felt in fear of him not having the same feelings.

He thought you were too sweet to him, too nice in this cruel, unjust world.

The little cat watched as you both walked up the stairs. Stevo looked back at its copper eyes and black fur, following his moves like a lucky cat in a store.

You led him inside, his sobs became more quiet and slowed down as he rubbed his eyes with his hand and sat down on a chair at your table. He felt like a loser, a poser. But you were one of the only people he knew wouldn’t judge him.

You shut the door and turned to him. It was silent for a moment while you both stared at each other.

“What happened?” you asked softly, making your way to the chair next to him.

He looked down at the ground while he explained what happened this morning. Bob had died of an overdose, your eyes widened as you listened and looked at him with sadness.

“I’m.. so sorry. Steven.. that’s horrible.” You said once he finished.

Steven. You hadn’t used his real name in ages.

He didn’t know how to respond, he simply just looked down.

“Uhm… you want me to call for you? So you don’t have to? I can tell them what happened so he can get buried, and everything else…”

He looked up now. “You’d do that?”

You nodded and smiled at him.

"Stevo, I am here for you, whether you need anything or want to talk. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.” he mumbled, feeling himself about to cry again.

You went over to him, he stood up and hugged you again, when you both pulled away you smiled softly and wiped his tears away.

"You can stay for as long as you need, okay?" you spoke softly.

You led him into your room, telling him to chill in there for a second while you called the police. They said they had to question you, but you did not mention Stevo at all, so as long as he didn’t have to, you were fine with it.

You hung up and sighed, rubbing your forehead. You felt horrible for Stevo, who had to see his best friend and roommates dead body in front of him, crying for him.

You entered the room for and climbed into the bed beside him. He gazed at you with red, tired eyes, and wrapped his arms around your body. You reciprocated the gesture, holding him close and not wanting to let go, playing with his hair as he rested his head on your chest.

You kissed the top of his head, and in any situation, he would've questioned the action. But right now it was just what he needed.

He fell asleep quickly in your arms, his eyes heavy. You wished it happened under better circumstances.

[strangetheedreamer]

beneath the willow tree

pairing: jake kiszka x gn! reader

summary: you’ve been in love with Jake Kiszka for as long as you can remember, the only question is: does he feel the same?

a/n: this is a short lil blurb based off of a real dream that i had, if you find it as devastating as I did- well blame my subconscious not me :)

there are no warnings for this lil

blurb, it’s actually all fluff!

Some would ask how long you have been in love with Jake Kiszka.

You would argue that the easier question to answer would be was there ever a time that you weren’t? Because the answer to that question is simple: no.

You met Jake Kiszka when you were nine and he was eleven at the neighborhood playground. Specifically? It was a hot summer afternoon in August and you were with your friend Maddie trying to see who could jump the farthest off the swings. A dangerous game, but you were old enough to be without parental supervision and drunk with the power of it. It was the most fun you’d had all summer until you landed too hard off a jump and your ankle rolled painfully as soon as you hit the mulch. You had cried out and fallen to the ground, clutching your wounded ankle and trying to blink back the tears that were blurring your vision.

Then, an angel appeared.

You had looked up at the sound of your name from your slowly swelling ankle to meet warm brown eyes and though you were arguably too young for love at first sight or to even know anything about it, your heart had plummeted into your stomach the moment you met those eyes and the boy attached to them. He’d asked if you were okay and all you could manage in return was a wordless sob, your ankle pulsing with pain now. That fateful afternoon, Jake Kiszka had slung your arm around his skinny shoulders and helped you limp the two blocks home while his brother wheeled your bike behind you.

You were hopelessly gone from that afternoon onward.

The strings of your fates seemed to be irreversibly tangled. Small neighborhoods are just like that perhaps, the community close knit enough that it would make sense for you to be at the same summer barbeques and new years parties as you got older. But the hopeless romantic in you dreamed that it was because Jake Kiszka was your destiny. It was the worst of schoolchildren crushes. You doodled yours and Jake’s names in hearts in all your school notebooks in middle school. And in high school you could be found hiding under the bleachers at every soccer game or gazing across the chemistry lab, moony eyed, at who you were sure was your future husband.

The crush inevitably faded to background noise when you both graduated and left your hometown, him to follow his dreams of being a rockstar and you to attend college. But, you never quite got over him. It seemed you couldn’t help but compare every boy you let take you out to him. Sure, maybe the boy bought you a nice dinner or an ice cream, but did he dissect the frog in Biology so you didn’t have to? Sure the boy had pretty eyes or soft lips, but could they even compare to the ones you’d dreamed of for so long? It was torture, honestly. And very annoying.

It didn’t help that Jake’s dreams had come true. You would never forget the moment you were perusing the magazines at a bookstore and saw him on the cover of a guitar mag, looking just as beautiful as you remembered- maybe even more so. It filled your heart up to the brim that it had worked out for him, but a certain sadness clawed at your chest too. At that point, you were just a waitress in Nashville working two jobs to try and afford graduate school. Maybe your fates were so tangled together after all.

Then, Josh Kiszka sat down at the cafe you served at in the mornings and your whole world turned on its axis. He’d recognized you immediately, crowing your name and leaping up from his chair to embrace you. God, he hadn’t changed a bit. He still radiated warmth and kindness and pure, unadulterated joy. Josh had always been the sun to Jake’s moon. And it seemed they hadn’t grown out of that comparison.

“Hey! It’s my birthday this Saturday, I’m having a little celebration! You should come, I think the other guys would love to see you. Sam always had a bit of a crush on you, you know.” He’d left you those words, a kiss on the cheek, and with his address scribbled onto a napkin and pressed into your palm.

You debated all week if you should go. Josh had seemed so happy to see you, had told you that you were like a little slice of home. But you were nervous. You hadn’t seen Jake not on your phone or laptop screen in years. What if he didn’t remember you? Or worse: what if he didn’t care to?

In the end, you decided to go. And you walked up to Josh’s house out in the country with as few expectations as possible.

Nothing could have prepared you to see Jake in person again. He did a double take across the backyard when Josh led you out to it and from the moment your eyes met his again for the first time in what felt like eons, you audibly let out an “Oh no.” Because his eyes were the same. Even after all these years and all this time, those brown eyes were still the same. And you felt your heart plummet into your stomach again- just like it had when you were nine.

You were twenty five years old. And in a heartbeat, you were nine again.

And that’s how it felt every time you saw Jake after that. Like you were a moonstruck child who didn’t even know what love was yet.

Josh and Sam and Danny invited you into their lives like it was nothing and you found that each of them had grown into kind, lovely young men. But with Jake? Oh, it was perfect. He was everything you ever wanted. When you went out to dinner together and it began to rain, he’d give you his jacket to hold over your head while he brought the car around to you. He made you a playlist full of songs that reminded him of you or that he thought you’d like. You cooked together, giggling and dancing around one of your kitchens. He calls you “Bugs”, just like he did in high school after you saved a lady bug from a cruel classmate’s shoe. All of this and yet…

It was starting to break your heart. Eventually, you decided it was time.

Sitting in your best dress in Josh’s lovely backyard at his beautiful outdoor wedding, looking at Jake in his suit with his hair actually brushed you decided it was time.

The reception was small and lovely, but it still felt suffocating as you watched Jake twirl a girl around the makeshift dance floor. You felt a presence next to you and when you glanced over you found it was Josh, “I’m really glad you came,” he tells you, nudging your shoulder with his and you smile at him.

“Thank you for inviting me. What a beautiful night for this.” You try, but you can’t keep the melancholy out of your voice and you can’t pull your gaze from where Jake dips the girl down toward the floor and she throws back her head and laughs.

“You look lovely.” Josh’s words barely resonate and you shrug, shaking your head listlessly. Not to the only one that matters. Josh nudges you again, gently, his words just as soft, “He thinks so too.”

You grit your teeth, irritation and frustration bubbling in your stomach, and you shake your head again, “Don’t do that. Don’t say that.”

“You know, I always say that where this is love we must live on,” Josh ventures softly and you smile at the words, remembering watching the performance where he said them on your laptop in your college dorm room, desperate for even the slightest tidbit of Jake.

“And where this is not love, we must provide it,” You finish and you see him smile out of the corner of your eye. You’re a little confused as to the direction of this conversation and you’re about to ask what he’s talking about when he speaks again.

“Luckily, there is already love here.” And when you pivot to face him fully, he’s gone, leaving you with his confusing words.

Needing a moment to yourself, you retreat to your favorite piece of Josh’s property. A spot with a massive, beautiful weeping willow tree and a tire swing slung on one of the low branches. You’re sitting on the swing, staring at your hands when a branch breaks and a voice pulls your attention away from your hangnail.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Jake comes to a stop a few feet in front of you and stuffs his hands in his pockets, smiles softly. You can’t return his smile though and his brows furrow, he takes another step toward you. “What is it, bugs? Where’s that pretty smile I love so much?”

You know he doesn’t mean to make you cry, but tears well up at the corners of your downturned eyes anyway. How can he say everything right and it still not be enough? “Just needed a minute, I guess.” Your words are a whisper and even you can hear them break in the middle. You let the tire swing turn so you’re not facing him, not wanting him to see the tears that have begun to streak down your face.

He doesn’t give that easily unfortunately, you hear the leaves and the twigs crunch under his feet as he comes around so you’re facing each other again, this time kneeling in front of you and taking your hands in his. “Why the tears, bugs? What happened?”

You shake your head, but the words come out before you can stop them, “Do you remember when we were little and I rolled my ankle? And you walked me home?” You glance up at him after they’ve come out and his brows furrow in confusion, his lips parting.

“Do I remember when we met? Of course I do, bugs. You were trying not to cry just like you are right now. Tell me what’s wrong, please. Tell me so I can fix it.” His words only make it worse and you try to spin away from him again, but he holds the tire in his hand to stop the movement. You can feel his searching gaze on yours, hear the soft desperation in his voice when he whispers, “Bugs?”

“I have loved you ever since I’ve known you, Jake. Loved you so much it hurts. And I just don’t think I can do it anymore.” Your words are barely a whisper again, but you’re proud to hear that they don’t tremble or shake. They’re strong. And now they’re out there, with nothing for you to do but wait.

Jake is silent for several moments, long enough that you chance a glance up at him. His hands stay wrapped around yours and he’s watching you like he’s seeing you for the first time, “Oh bugs…” You turn your head, desperately afraid that he’s about to split your heart right down the middle when he speaks again, his words soft but full of feeling, “I’ve loved you from the moment you wouldn’t let James Booker crush that ladybug. I loved you then and every moment since. And I love you right now, sitting on this swing in front of me with tears in your eyes because you’re afraid I don’t feel for you exactly what you feel for me.”

You gasp softly, your head swinging back to face him. You search his eyes, desperate to see if he’s messing with you. Then you sob once and throw your arms around him, falling from the swing to kneel in front of him just as he had kneeled to confess to you. You hear him whisper your name, your real name, into your hair and you pull back just enough to press your lips to his, kissing him after more than fifteen years of loving him.

And finally, when the time comes, your notebook doodles and your teenage dreams come true. Jake Kiszka is yours, til death do you part.

[tsvitmar]

It's been 2 years since the full-scale invasion in Ukraine has started. The war is still going.

Rest in peace to all the heroes that fought bravely for their home country. 💔

r*ussia has been trying to erase our culture for a long time, way before this war has started.

From my own experience, which I have shared before, but will share again. At first, I did not believe the rumors that r*ussia would start a war. I lived quite calmly, planning my future. But my life turned upside down on February 24. The first siren is forever etched in my memory. I woke up in the morning and saw my parents watching the news excitedly. First of all, we were worried about my grandparents, who were in a more dangerous zone. The first months of the war felt like they were in a blur, I couldn't believe what was happening. I hoped that it was just a bad dream. Constant running to the shelter, sleepless nights, sirens, distant explosions - everything hit my mental health hard, without even realizing it at first.

And then I had to leave everything behind. My family and friends are still in Ukraine, and I don't know when I will be able to see them with my own eyes. My plans fell apart, and I am still lost. I do not feel at home.

As sad as it is, I have hope that things will get better. I want to see my real home in peace. Long live Ukraine.