#the amount of garlic listed in a recipe

[theia-eos]

What is Lehran's relation to the Heron Royals?

Just a lot of thoughts on the Heron Royal Family and Lehran's possible relation to it based on canon information. I have English Literature and Creative Writing degrees. No amount of lack of information in the source material can stop my hyperfixation!

Rambling and spoilers below the cut, as always. The rambling is more dis-jointed than usual.

Lehran

The first thing I wantwe will need to contend with is Lehran's relation to the heron royal family:

Reyson: We, that is, the descendants of Lehran, we have a gift...Through the power of the slumber galdr, we have the ability to suppress the chaotic energies of the dark god in the medallion. Chapter 25, Strange Lands, Path of Radiance

Lehran had children with Altina, lost his powers of galdr and transformation, and was stated to have died shortly thereafter. Are the heron royals really his descendants?

Well, to answer that, we need to know which word Reyson was using in the Japanese script. Now, as I have said many times before, I'm a fair bit too dyslexic to learn to read Japanese properly, but I can muddle around with google translate and work done by fans with actual Japanese reading comprehension.

私たちエルランの末裔は…… (Google Translate says: We, the descendants of Erlan...)

Reyson here is using the word "末裔" or Matsuei. To read a more in-depth explanation about matsuei and how it applies to Priam/Ike and Marth/Anri, please check out this amazing analysis by XKAN of Kantopia, the tl;dr is that matsuei implies that they are of the same bloodline, but given the fact that Intelligent Systems uses matsuei and shison (another word for descendant that seems to imply direct lineal descent) rather interchangeably with Priam, and uses shison on Marth being Anri's descendant despite the fact Marth is directly descended from Anri's brother Marcelus rather than Anri himself, there is absolutely no clarity to be gained here as to how they are related, but they are almost definitely related...somehow. Pls no discussions on Ike/Priam. We are not here to have a debate on that. Thank you.

The other clue we get is from when Rafiel talks to SephiranLehran in the endgame of Radiant Dawn:

Rafiel: It is you… Now that I’ve seen your face… I know that you once went by another name. Sephiran: You are mistaken. I am known as Sephiran, and nothing else. Rafiel: You have closed your heart. Why? Sephiran: …I have nothing more to say. Nothing. Chapter 4-F-4, Rebirth, Radiant Dawn

Rafiel seems to have some recognition of Lehran. I don't know why. By all accounts, Rafiel should have never met Lehran before. So then why? Well, the herons and the dragons are both said to be able to sense the state of their loved ones from far away.

Reyson: It's not your fault. Please don't apologize. I know Leanne is alive. These battlefields are filled with chaotic energy, but I can still sense her… It's faint, but I know it's Leanne. Tibarn: Which is all the more reason for us to hurry. There may be other ways to finish this, but crushing Daein is the surest. Reyson: Agreed. Ike: Reyson, is this mysterious power that you use to sense Leanne something only herons possess? Tibarn: It's not something any of the hawk clans have! That is a certainty! Reyson: That's not true, Tibarn. The power may differ in potency between us, but all laguz possess it to some degree. Tibarn: Ah, so it's just that my sense isn't developed, is that it? Reyson: The power is distributed something like this…Among the bird tribes, it's very strong in the heron clan. Among the beast tribes, I've heard it's most developed in the cat clan, though not as strongly as in the herons. As for the dragon tribes… It's said they may be equal to, or even surpass, the strength of the herons. Chapter 26, Clash!, Path of Radiance

Ena: We dragons have the power to sense the presence of our allies. If that ally is someone we care for very much, then we can communicate telepathically. With the sending stone, we can use this telepathy across extreme distances. Chapter 3-F, From Pain, Awakening, Radiant Dawn

Even more interesting is what Ena says in the Extended Scripts, available on Serenes Forest.

Ena: Yes. We dragons have the power to sense the presence of our own kind. In particular, if we share blood ties with someone… or care for them very much, we can know their condition… as well as understand their thoughts, even across extreme distances. Ike: When Nasir felt your presence at Crimea… and when Reyson could sense Leanne’s presence, it was because of this ability? Ena: That’s right. The heron clan… possess that same ability. With the sending stone, we can increase the natural strength of this ability, so that no matter how far apart we are, we can communicate using telepathy. Chapter 3-F, From Pain, Awakening, Radiant Dawn, Extended Scripts

So even if they don't know the person well, if they share blood ties, they're likely able to sense them. Thus, when Rafiel sees Lehran's face, he's able to tell that this man is someone else. Or he saw a portrait of Lehran somewhere. Idk. I don't make the rules. I'm only explaining my headcanons here and showing the canon evidence I'm using to support myself.

So, if they are related, how so? Did Lehran have a wife before Altina? Did she die in the Flood?

I think it's more like the devs are doing the whole "descendants, but not like literal descendants" thing again like they did with Marth/Anri, in that Lehran is likely their uncle/grand uncle/great-grand uncle/great*whatever many times*grand uncle. And yes, the technically correct term is grand uncle and not the "great uncle" that is used colloquially. If you use great uncle, I will never correct you. I don't have the energy and I use great uncle when speaking so people know wtf I'm saying, but I'm trying to pretend to have standards here.

So which one is it? Great question. This is the father of the herons we see in game and King of Serenes, Lorazieh:

My moderate guess for his apparent age is 60ish, maybe 50ish. Based on my previous work on laguz aging, Lorazieh could be anywhere from about 400-700! What a range!

The Great Flood happened about 803 years prior to Radiant Dawn, and the pact was formed about 780 years prior to Radiant Dawn, and the war against Yune happened a little before the pact forming. Therefore, Lorazieh would not remember those events. However, since Reyson is using the variation of descendants that implies a more distant relation, I wouldn't think Lorazieh and Lehran were brothers. I think Lehran would at the very least be Lorazieh's grand uncle.

My take is that around the time of the war against Yune, Lehran had a younger sibling that was a child still, and their parents died in the flood. I believe that this sibling is someone who, when Lehran has a child twenty-ish years later and is going insane, is too young still to help console Lehran at all, someone young enough that Dheginsea, Soan, and Altina can convince that Lehran died and had no child, or otherwise convince them to go along with the lie that Lehran died and had no child.

I would then need to fix Lorazieh's age to determine how many generations could have passed between Lorazieh and Lehran's younger sibling. I'm going to fix Lorazieh's age to 497 years old in Radiant Dawn, looking 58 or so and born in the year 151.

I'm not touching Lehran's age in this post (because that's complicated, I am also not touching his appearance of black hair/black wings here where the heron royals have white wings and blonde hair because that's another theory), but with the Great Flood happening in the year -155, I'll say the younger sibling was born in the year -161, making them 6 when the flood happens, 30 when the war against Yune happens, and about 40ish when Lehran's child is born. So they would be about 6-14 in apparent age.

So that's about 300 years between the two of them. With the way herons age, that could be Lorazieh's parent or great-great-great grandparent. I will pick the most distant option just for space's sake. But did Lehran have a younger sister or younger brother? That brings me to my next point.

Naming Conventions of the Royal Family

There seems to be a theme of heron royal family names. Lehran and Lorazieh start with "L." The sisters of the current generation also have "L" names: Lillia and Leanne. The brothers have "R" names: Rafiel and Reyson. I should note that there is no "R" or "L" in Japanese, the sound the language uses exists somewhere in between those two letters, but the character representing the sound is most commonly translated as an "R." That said, Japanese game developers often know what they want it to be in English, and the Japanese versions of the Tellius Recollections books have the names spelled out in the English alphabet using L or R, so we'll consider the differentiation between "L" and "R" to be completely and wholly distinct for the herons. I just want you to know I considered that angle.

In Japan, there's a tradition (iirc, it's an older, more archaic one) of taking a portion of the parent's or parents' name(s) and giving it to the child (Japanese names being formed from one or more kanji, so one or more kanji are taken from the parent(s) names and given to the child). While the Fire Emblem games are supposed to be sort of equivalent to medieval Europe, Japanese values and traditions show up as at least a subconscious bias in the writing of the games (see: Three House's dowries that work the exact opposite of European dowries, but function in the way Japanese dowries did), so it wouldn't be too surprising to me if the names of the heron royals worked in a similar fashion, in this case taking the first letter of one of the parents. I would assume that the daughters inherit the first letter of the father and the sons the first letter of the mother.

Given that Lehran has the letter "L," then, I would assume the younger sibling then was a brother, who had a daughter, who had a son, who had a daughter, who had a son named Lorazieh.

Since the princes of the current generation start with the letter "R," then, it would be safe to assume that the mother had a name beginning with "R" if were going with my above deductions. (We dont have to, but I am.)

As Rafiel is listed as the first prince, Reyson the third prince, Lillia the third princess, and Leanne the fourth princess, we know that the current generation had at least 7 children. More over, when Reyson is describing the family he lost he says:

My mother, my brother, my elder sisters… Even my infant sister, Leanne! Chapter 17 Part 4, Day Breaks, Path of Radiance

In Japanese, he says:

母…兄…姉たち……そして…小さな私の妹リアーネ…

He uses the word 姉たち, anetachi, which Google says is elder sisters, while 兄, ani, seems to be either generic "brother" or "older brother" according to Google. Since we know Reyson is the third prince and Rafiel, the first prince, was not in Serenes during the massacre, we know the second prince was likely there and therefore it is safe to believe that Reyson has no other, younger, brothers. Reyson describes Leanne as "小さな私の妹" seeming to use the words "小さな" (small) and "妹" (sister/little sister). I don't know if "infant sister" as in "my literally infant sister" is the vibe of that phrase, and given that Leanne is described as Naesala's "childhood friend" and he jokes about being as handsome as always with her and Tibarn asks her if she remembers him, I don't think she was literally an infant during the massacre. I think at most it was meant as "my baby sister" as when I describe my little sister as my baby sister, despite her being old enough to drink (which should be illegal. She cannot be that old), but I am not familiar enough with Japanese to determine the correct translation. I will simply hold fast to the point that I doubt Leanne was meant to literally be a toddler/infant during the massacre given the way she is described and talks to the other characters upon waking. Either way, it's a safe bet that Reyson is the second youngest of the family and Leanne is the youngest.

Given that Rafiel is designed with an apparent age of 24, Reyson an apparent age of 22, and Leanne an apparent age of 18, making them approximately 115, 95, and 65 respectively, I don't feel like there's enough room for Rafiel to be old enough to have four other siblings within twenty years, given that there's thirty years between Reyson and Leanne, and I will do what I want with the approximate ages.

The Most Recent Generation of the Heron Royal Family

Using all of the above, this is what I view as the most recent generation of the royal family. Did Lorazieh have siblings? Perhaps. However, Serenes founded itself as a kingdom in protest of the war Begnion was waging against Kilvas and Daein in 470. There are a lot of wars waged by Begnion whenever a new country forms. (Timeline translated by VincentASM on Kantopia)

So I imagine that one way or another, Lorazieh is the last one of the white winged herons left until he marries his wife and has Rafiel, thus making the white winged herons the royals of Serenes. If you look at the below, you can see that I have written that Rafiel is born shortly after the kingdom is established, and I imagine Lorazieh married shortly after forming the kingdom of Serenes. I also don't know why I decided to throw twins in there, for some reason I had it in my head that if Leanne and Naesala have an A support, they have twin children (and twins appear if there is a history of twins), but upon re-examining the epilogue, that does not appear to be stated as clearly as my head had tricked me into believing. But I'll still stick by Leanne having twins and having twins as older siblings as a head-canon.

Lorazieh - King, born 150 (495/498) apparent age 58 Rheanna - Queen, born 167 (458 at death, 478/481 if alive) apparent age 54 (56) Rafiel - First Prince, born 474 (171/174) apparent age 30 Laila - First Princess, born 490 (135 at death, 155/158 if alive) apparent age 24 (28) Rosaire - Second Prince, born 502 (123 at death, 143/146 if alive) apparent age 25 (27) Lorelle - Second Princess, born 502 (123 at death, 143/146 if alive) apparent age 24 (26) Lillia - Third Princess, born 517 (109 at death, 128/131 if alive) apparent age 23 (25) Reyson - Third Prince, born 548 (97/100) apparent age 22 Leanne - Fourth Princess, born 564 (71/74) apparent age 19

Also, for Reyson, one of the wikis states that he's 97 in POR and 100 in RD, but there's no evidence to support those ages that I can find. However, it fits in well enough with his apparent age based on my aging chart, so I'm just going with it. If anyone knows where that comes from, I'll be happy to have that information, but I couldn't find anything to support it from official sources.

The Heron Royal Family Tree

Without further ado, here is my take on the heron family tree from Lehran's parents to the current generation of heron royals. I am including my headcanons on the spouses, so Rafiel married Nailah (though that's more or less official), Reyson married Tibarn, and Leanne married Naesala and had two children with him (twins, b/c I've been believing that since 2007 by mistake and I am not able to get rid of that image now).

Pretty much every date there is made up by me.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! Welcome to chapter 2! We're going to be attempting a nice lil fruit-focused quiche/frittata/pie thing. And yes, tomatoes are fruits.

Who says you cant eat totally normal things in a dungeon with definitely no monsters in them? 

You know what that means; Man-Eating Plant Tart!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Man-Eating Plant Tart?” YOU MIGHT ASKThe way its prepared in the show is akin to a frittata, but the crust is borrowed from quiche world.

Eggs

Whole milk

Bell peppers

Persimmons

Cherry tomatoes

Pitted green olives

Thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

In the show they use leftover hotpot stock, slime, and mashed up fruit as the batter ingredients. Fruit mush is easy to work with but I couldn't find any stand-in for slime that would cook correctly into what they made in the show, and the hotpot stock is just not thick enough to carry the base. It is too many watery ingredients at once. Needing a thickening agent, both gelatin and agar agar were tried. It was edible but the texture was… gelatinous. Regular egg and milk will serve for our purposes.

The next complication was the crust- so in the show its made with the skins of fruit, straightforward yeah? Well. You see it also has to be 1. Thick enough to bake without burning 2. Harden through cooking to be sliced and held and 3. Inedible. Lotus leaves? Plantain leaves? Really thin gourds? I couldnt find any historical basis for a savory food cooked in this method, or similar method, with an intentionally inedible crust. I could find a few dishes which used leaves as their crust, but none that hardened during cooking and even less that used fruit skin. I chose sweet potato skin for its visual match and texture. It is edible, and it is not a fruit.

I hope youll forgive me for these 2 major deviations as i wanted to keep it looking how it does in the show while also ensuring it tastes good.

AND, “what does a Man-Eating Plant Tart taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKFluffy, airy, savory, salty.

The density of the eggs is offset by the crisp fruits

And the saltiness doesnt overpower the remnant fruit-sweetness

(If you eat the crust) the sweet potato brings this nice muted, smokey, flavor

Spongecake-esque in consistency

Would pair well with cranberry or strawberry juice

Would also pair well with a mellow hot sauce?

. You can use heavy cream instead of milk for a creamier batter . Roast the fruit longer to remove more liquid if too wet (and vice versa if too dry) . Smoked paprika, pepper flakes, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder would taste good in the mixture

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"A mixture of mashed up and cut up Man-Eating Plant fruit, slime and scorpion soup is poured into a pan lined with the flattened peel of the fruit and cooked before garnishing with some more fruit. Described as salty by the group."

From start to finish this recipe took 3-ish hours? Shredding the potatoes took the longest, so if you get them bagged itd be cut down. A very filling recipe and a good way to sneak veggies/fruits in if you have a hard time getting enough of those essential nutrients. The best advice i can give is to add salt/seasonings at every stage of the process, to build up layers. It makes a difference flavor-wise (even if its just salt). I advise against reheating if possible. The filling will make the crust soggy over time.

If you want to be closer to the cooking of the show, you could double the fruit amounts and mash them together while halving the amount of egg and milk. I hadnt tried due to budget reasons, but it should work with some finangling. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys with how todays recipe turned out <333

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do better, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

3 Eggs

13oz whole milk

2 bell peppers

2 small persimmons

140oz cherry tomatoes

12oz pitted green olives

34oz thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

Method:

Heat oven to 420f and grease a 9-inch pie pan.

Thinly slice (or shred) your sweet potatoes and squeeze out any excess moisture. Coat in olive oil, salt and pepper.

Press sweet potato mixture evenly into and up the sides of the pie pan.

Blind bake for roughly 25 minutes or until lightly golden-brown. No worries if the edges get crisp.

Remove pie pan from oven and set aside.

Core and chop up your bell peppers and persimmons. Coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Line out on a baking sheet, evenly spaced, and roast for roughly 20 minutes or until softened. (you can do this at the same time on a separate rack from the pie crust if you have room)

Remove the stems from your cherry tomatoes, and drain/dry your green olives if canned.

Bring a frying pan to medium heat with olive oil. Add the green olives and sautee until their skin texture starts dimpling. Add the cherry tomatoes and continue sauteeing for about 5 minutes or until lightly browned.

Once the bell peppers, persimmons, cherry tomatoes, and green olives are all done, set aside to cool until just above room temp.

Lower the oven temperature to 350f.

In a mixing bowl combine your eggs and milk, add salt to taste. If you want other seasonings nows a good time!

Once uniform in color and texture, add your cooked fruit. Stir until evenly distributed.

Pour mixture into the potato pie crust.

Bake for roughly 40 minutes. The filling should be mostly firm, but wiggle *slightly* when you shake the pan.

Remove from oven and let rest for roughly 15 minutes before serving.

[hayakawalove]

I'll Get My Way

Summary: Suguru wants to punish you for being a brat, but Satoru has other plans.

A/N: I need them both to fuck me up. I thought I posted this here already, but I can't find it anywhere. More poly Satosugu for you guys.

TW: Brat taming, Cunnilingus, Sex Toys, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Gay Sex, Dacryphilia, Teasing, Oral Sex, Polyamory, D/S Dynamics, Female Reader, AFAB reader, Praise Kink, Vaginal Penetration

W/C: 5,326

Most of the time, you never caused trouble. Causing trouble was something reserved for Satoru. Suguru was grateful for it. He didn’t think he could handle two trouble makers if he was being honest. It was hard enough to keep a tight leash on Satoru, there was no way he could keep you in line as well.

That didn’t mean you never acted out, though. Most of the time you were Suguru’s angel. His princess. Key word being: most of the time. And it so happened this week you decided you wanted to rebel. 

It all started with grocery shopping at the beginning of the week. Suguru believed it was an honest mistake, really. He sent you out to pick up specific things for dinner. There was even a list clutched tightly in your hands when you left. He didn’t need a lot for the recipe as you already had some of it at home. But there were key ingredients written down that he did need. Ground beef, garlic, eggs, among other things. It was a dinner Suguru had been waiting to try for a long time, and he was really excited to see what your and Satoru’s reactions would be. Except when you came home you didn’t have ground beef, garlic, or eggs. You didn’t have anything on the list in fact. The bags were filled with random food items that looked good to you around the store. Definitely not something Suguru could make into a decent dinner. 

It was an honest mistake, he was sure of it. But the second you saw his eye twitch, there was something that went off in your eyes. It was like the brat inside you was suddenly awoken after being dormant for so long. 

You began to see how much you could get away with before he snapped. Your next stunt was directed towards Satoru. 

The two men had gone out for the day and Satoru was beginning to get antsy. He got like that if he didn’t have his usual amount of sugar. Lucky for him, there was one piece of chocolate cake waiting for him at home. Satoru whipped the door open and saw you sitting on the couch, the only remnants of his cake was frosting that laid on your lips. 

After Satoru had a melt down, Suguru caught your eye and he noticed a gleam in it. Daring him to do something. He decided it would be more torture for you if he didn’t do anything, so that was his plan. 

That was his plan, at least. The final nail in the coffin happened on a bright Saturday afternoon. It was cleaning day for everyone, but you were nowhere in sight. Suguru noticed the sink full of dishes and the unmopped floor and he let out a sigh. He looked everywhere in the house, and finally found you spread out on the bed. Your phone was in your hand while you idly scrolled. 

Suguru stops in the room and breathes out your name. 

Your eyes flick up then return to your screen. 

“Why aren’t you cleaning?” 

You adjust yourself on the bed. 

“Didn't feel like it.” 

Suguru felt heat begin to radiate through his body. He wasn’t really mad at you, but every time you or Satoru was defiant just for the sake of it, he could feel every hair on his body stand on edge. 

“Didn't feel like it?” He repeats and you nod lazily. 

Before you can do anything else on your phone you feel a large warm hand wrap around your ankle, yanking you down the bed. You let out a yelp, your phone flying away from you. 

The reaction you were looking for all week was right in front of you. Suguru leans over the bed, one of your ankles tightly in his grasp. His brows furrow in concentration, his eyes dancing across your face. You feel your skin break out in goosebumps, a low roll of excitement burning in your stomach. 

“That’s what I said.” You counter, not backing down from his eyes, no matter how much your brain begged you to. 

Suguru grabs ahold of your chin and you feel your stomach drop. He stares you down waiting for you to waver but you never do. 

“You’ve been a brat lately.”

“Have I?” 

Your lips twitch in a small smile. Suguru leans down closer to your face, towering over you. You couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. Black bangs fall down, careful caressing your face. His eyes drop to your lips and back up. Sometimes it was scary not knowing what was going through Suguru’s head. For the most part it never bothered you, but he could be so calculating. His lips lightly trace over yours, not pressing down hard enough to be considered a kiss. 

“You know what happens to brats, don’t you?” 

You spread your legs inviting him in. His hand slides down, guiding down your body. You can already feel the desire for him begin to pool in your stomach. 

“No, what happens?” You say. 

Suguru’s hand lands itself in between your legs, his palm pressing down over your shorts. If you wiggle your hips just right, you can feel it relieve some of your ache. 

He listens as you try to press up into him harder, a pathetic sight. 

He tears his hand away and looks up to see your reaction. He can see a quick flash of desperation cross your face before it quickly leaves. 

“Okay.” You try to play it off. 

He knows you want a reaction. You want him to punish you. Lose control. But brats don’t get what they want, do they? 

Suguru stands up and leaves, leaving you laying dazed and confused on the bed. He comes back shortly though, with your other boyfriend dragging beside him. 

“Suguru! I was-“ Satoru complains but instantly gets cut off. 

Suguru pulls him to the front of the bed and smashes his lips against Satoru’s. Satoru moans softly and stiffens up, before melting into the touch and reaching out to hold Suguru. 

You can’t pull your eyes away. The view in front of you was irresistible. Their lips were locked, hard bodies pressed against each other. Tongues tangle together and you can faintly hear Satoru panting. You weren’t sure what Suguru was getting at, but you couldn’t complain at the view. 

Satoru reaches a hand out blindly, grabbing around until he reaches around your ankle. It was sweet, you thought. Satoru always did something like that when he was getting attention from Suguru. He never wanted you to feel left out. 

You lean into his touch, your body filling up with need. Suguru reaches out and pulls Satoru’s hand back from your leg, interlocking his fingers with Satoru and pulling both of their hands to their bodies. 

Before Satoru can question anything, Suguru breaks the kiss. Their foreheads touch while looking into each other's eyes. 

“Don’t you think she’s been a bad girl lately?” Suguru murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear. 

Satoru’s eyes flick over to yours briefly before colliding with Suguru’s once more. 

“She has, hasn’t she?” 

You feel your heart drop. Usually Satoru was defiant, never one to jump on the bandwagon. It was bad enough when Suguru punished you, but when it was both of them it was insurmountable. They worked in tandem so well, always leaving you dizzy. 

Suguru hums, his lips brushing against Satoru. If you weren’t eyeing them so closely, you would’ve missed the shiver than ran up Satoru’s spine. 

“I’m thinking maybe she should sit this one out.” Suguru continues. 

Satoru pulls his head back and turns it to look fully at you. You weren’t aware of how desperate you already looked. Hair a mess from being dragged across the sheets, wide eyes, and a heaving chest. 

“Don’t you agree, Satoru?” Suguru says. 

The way Suguru says Satoru’s name makes your mind blank. It was filled with so much lust, you could barely take it. 

Satoru cracks a grin, his eyes slowly tracing your figure. He turns back toward Suguru and nods, pressing his lips against his once more. 

You want to pout and complain but you knew they wouldn’t pay any attention to you. Once they both put their mind to something, all you could do was enjoy the ride. 

Satoru was more ravenous this second time around. His hands frantically pull Suguru closer to his body. Satoru presses a hand against his cheek while the other winds tightly against his waist. Suguru tangles his fingers in Satoru’s hair while the other hand slides down his body. 

The room felt increasingly hot and all you could do was wriggle on the bed, impatient and needy. 

Soft moans fill the room along with lips smacking. Your mouth felt dry as you watched them. Your hips wiggle from side to side subconsciously. You had two of the most beautiful men in front of you and it left you breathless. They rip each other's shirts off, pressing their toned bodies together. Suguru’s nipple piercings drag against Satoru’s body, and you can see Satoru’s brows furrow in response, his body shuddering in pleasure. 

Satoru’s hand trails down and unbuckles Suguru’s pants. The two quickly shove the garment down, allowing Suguru’s cock to jump free. The sight made your mouth water. Not only were their faces beautiful and their bodies irresistible, their cocks were something sculpted by the gods themselves, you were sure of it. Your hands shook with the need to reach out. 

Satoru tries to pull away from the kiss, Suguru’s lips following his. His teeth latch onto Satoru’s bottom lip, pulling it before letting go. Satoru groans, opening his eyes to reveal a hazy look. 

He looks up at Suguru while sinking to his knees. Your eyes follow his body, watching his hands roam Suguru’s legs and stomach. 

“You gonna play nice today?” Suguru questions, idly running his hand through Satoru’s hair. 

“Figured I might give it a try for once.” Satoru says. 

His tongue sticks out, laying flat against Suguru’s tip. You liked watching Satoru give Suguru head. He was really good at it. It made you think about what their sex life might’ve been like before you. 

Satoru stares up at Suguru while licking his cock. His hands drag up Suguru’s body, running past Suguru’s belly ring. He grabs onto his waist and pulls him in closer to his mouth. 

Satoru wraps his lips around the head of Suguru’s cock, slowly taking in more. Suguru’s breath hitches as he watches his cock envelope into Satoru’s warm mouth. It only takes him several seconds before Satoru’s nose is buried deep in Suguru’s pelvis. If the light caught perfectly, you could see the spit shining on Satoru’s chin. 

Neither paid you any mind, your heavy breathing going unnoticed or ignored. Your legs shuffled against each other, your elbows propping you up. 

If they wanted to, they could go at it for hours like this. You weren’t sure how evil they were feeling today. 

Satoru groans, feeling Suguru’s cock hit the back of his throat. He gags a little before pulling back, all the while his tongue strokes against Suguru’s cock. 

“Okay guys, I get it, you can s-“ You begin. 

Your words die in your throat once you see Satoru’s lips release Suguru completely. Strings of spit connect the two, a sight so lewd you thought you might’ve died and gone to heaven. 

Satoru looks at you from the corner of his eyes, your dazed gaze locked on his mouth and Suguru’s cock. He tries to suppress a smile. The two of them knew how riled up you got when watching them, but they weren’t expecting you to be this caught up. 

Satoru glances back to Suguru, already finding his eyes trained on him. He wraps his hand around Suguru’s cock, slowly stroking it while he licks the underside of Suguru’s tip. As composed as Suguru looked, Satoru knew the truth. He could tell in the way Suguru’s fingers twitched at his side, how his shoulders tensed every time Satoru slid his cock in his mouth. 

Suguru might like to pretend he was this stoic man, but to Satoru he was an open book. One he’s read many, many times before. 

Satoru’s eyelashes flutter when he takes Suguru’s cock in one more time. He bobs his head faster than before, driven only by the cloud of lust that loomed over his head. If it weren’t for Suguru pulling his mouth off, Satoru would’ve continued for hours, always finding himself completely at home in between his partners legs. 

“Bend over for me.” Suguru says breathlessly. 

Satoru smiles, standing up. He watches as Suguru saunters away to the bedside drawer, looking for a bottle of lube. 

Satoru turns around facing you fully, his facade almost dropping when he meets your eyes. The expression is one he’s well acquainted with, as you wore it often. Your eyes were peeled wide open, lips trembling and parted. Your body fidgets under his gaze. You looked torn between holding up your bratty persona, or saying fuck it and begging for them. He thought it was cute how desperately you clung to pretending to be unbothered. Satoru would like to say he looked like that too when he got in his moods, but he knew he didn’t. Satoru didn’t have the patience to keep it up. If he wanted something, he cut the shit and wasn’t afraid to get on his hands and knees and beg. 

“Poor baby.” He cooes at you, leaning forward. 

He leans over close to your face, his presence instantly overwhelming. You scramble back, your body only stopping once you hit the head of the bed. 

“You could have this too if you only weren’t such a bad girl.” He pretends to pity you. He doesn’t, not really. 

He crawls on the bed, fully getting into position for Suguru. Your eyes flicker back and forth between his. 

“I don’t need it.” You boast, hoping your trembling voice doesn’t give you away. 

“No? You don’t need it? You don’t need me or Suguru? Bunny, I’m hurt.” Satoru pretends to frown. 

He inches up further, caging you in with his arms. You keep your chin held high, despite the fact his bright blues were seconds away from making you crumble. 

“Let’s see if that’s true.” He says. 

Satoru stuffs a hand in your shorts, the action causing you to jump. His fingers quickly find their way inside your underwear, the fabric soaked. 

Satoru groans loudly, his lips parting. His eyes remain on yours while his long finger skims your slit, dipping down into your hole. 

The tip of his finger sneaks into your pussy, the stretch making you throw your head back. Satoru likes playing with his food first, so he takes his time in seating his finger in you fully. 

Once his finger was fully sheathed in you, he curled it up. You raise your hands up, the last bits of control you had, ebbing away. You refuse to grab onto him and ask for more. 

“Oh bunny.” He moans obscenely. 

Satoru slowly drags his finger in and out, each time his finger retreats you want to yell. You couldn’t focus on Suguru anymore. A dull hum of pleasure flows through your veins. Satoru slides a second finger in to join the other, easing both back in. 

Satoru pumps his fingers inside you, your walls clinging desperately to him. He loved when you were a needy, teary eyed mess, pouting for attention. The only thing he loved more than that was when you were bratty. He liked seeing you put up a fight, pretending not to be their good girl. It made it all the more enjoyable when you finally gave into your desires. 

The only other person who enjoyed it more was- 

“Satoru.” Suguru’s stern voice comes up from behind Satoru. 

You’re filled with emptiness when Satoru pulls his fingers out of you. Satoru turns his head back and grins at Suguru. 

“What? You were busy.” 

“I was gone for less than a minute.” 

“I gotta keep myself entertained somehow.” 

“Can’t do that and keep your hands to yourself?”

“No, she’s too tempting.” 

Suguru grabs onto Satoru’s hips, dragging them back a bit so he’s no longer looming above you. 

Satoru feels cool liquid drip over his ass. Suguru grabs his ass and spreads it, watching the way the lube drips down coating Satoru’s hole. 

He rubs two fingers over his asshole, keeping a firm grip on Satoru. Satoru’s head hangs low, waiting on bated breath as Suguru presses his fingers in. 

Why start off slow? He needed to be inside Satoru now. 

You moan softly at the sight in front of you, the air feeling too hot. Satoru looks up at you, pressing his ass further back. He really wanted to see you naked. Satoru knew they were supposed to be punishing you, but it felt a bit unfair to punish himself too. 

“Take your clothes off, give Satoru something to look at.” Suguru says. 

The heavy tone of his voice makes your body move by itself. Your clothes are torn off, tossed over the edge of the bed. Satoru licks his lips once he’s met with your exposed body, your dripping pussy put on full display in front of him. Suguru moves his fingers faster, his eyes peering over to look at you. Your hole looked something desperate, wet and clenching around air. He was hoping Satoru wouldn’t rile you up more, but maybe his expectations were too high. 

Satoru fully expected to feel Suguru’s cock press against him, but Suguru stepped away from Satoru. 

Suguru dug around and found a toy, a dildo comparable to Satoru and his size. He handed it to you, your eyes jumping back and forth between him and the toy. 

“Since Satoru couldn’t help himself.” 

You grab it and pull it close to your body. You were grateful to have something fill you up, but you wanted it to be Satoru or Suguru, not this. 

Suguru settles himself behind Satoru once more, lining his cock up with Satoru’s hole. 

Satoru eyes you hungrily as you trace the toy down your slit, your eyes low. 

Suguru presses the tip of his cock into Satoru, making him let out a shaky breath. 

The second Suguru pushes inside Satoru, you press on the toy sliding it into you. Satoru’s salacious moans fill the room as Suguru pulls back and slams in once more. Even though the toy was close in size, it wasn’t comparable to the two men. 

Your hand works deftly at plunging the toy inside your heat, the sight in front of you egging you on. Satoru’s hands clasp at the bed sheets, a permanent expression of pleasure drawn on his face. He watches you intently, focused on the way your pussy stretches around the toy. 

His head bows down and he purses his lips, letting some of his spit collect before it slowly descends on top of your pussy. The extra fluid only makes the toy glide easier in you, feeling even better than before. 

“Satoru, oh-“ You moan. The sight was borderline pornographic. 

Your head falls back, your chest heaving as you try to breathe. 

“Eyes on me bunny.” Satoru tries to make his voice sound even, but Suguru wasn’t letting him. 

You gather all your strength and look forward. The toy plunges deep inside you, grazing against your sweet spot with every movement. It felt like some kind of cruel joke. You had two impeccable cocks at your disposal, but you were forced to use something fake that couldn’t amount to even half the pleasure they would give you. 

You catch the way Suguru’s hand reaches forward, grabbing a fistful of white hair. Satoru whines, the feeling pushing him closer to the deep end. Suguru reaches around Satoru’s hips with his other hand, running his palm over Satoru’s cock. Satoru moans loud, hand shaking against the bed. He grabs your calf, dropping his head and pressing his face into the muscle. You feel hot breaths in succession beating against your leg. 

Satoru’s legs shake from the pleasure. He felt like he might be able to compose himself, but then Suguru’s soft touch reached down to slide against his balls. 

“Fuck, Suguru…” Satoru moans breathlessly. 

Suguru holds Satoru’s balls tenderly while slamming into him from behind, the sight in front of him making his head fog. His two babies, absolutely ruined in front of him. 

“So tight Satoru, you’re such a good boy aren’t you?” Suguru cooes down at him. 

Tears bubble in your eyes, desperate to receive the same praise as Satoru. The toy pushes into you, making your palm graze your swollen clit. It needed more attention, it ached something fierce. 

Your fingers from your other hand trail down, skimming over your clit. Your moans increase in volume, snapping the men from their daze. 

“Hey, keep your hands to yourself.” Suguru orders. He had only allowed you to use the toy, nothing more. Suguru slams his hips forward once with more force, causing Satoru to push forward. 

His asshole ached from Suguru’s ministrations, but he never would dream of telling him to slow down. 

A low whine emits from your throat, the idea of leaving your clit be made you want to cry. 

“I don’t remember giving her permission to do that, do you Satoru?” Suguru questions, slick eyes staring into you. 

Suguru was a kind man, a soft man, but when he wanted to he could be terrifying. 

Satoru’s breath falters as he tries to regain some semblance of composure. 

“Hngg, n-no I didn’t, didn’t give her permission, fuck…” Satoru stutters out. 

You tear your hand away and instead grasp at the sheets below you. 

Suguru looks down at Satoru and watches how his back flexes. His shoulder blades curve as he holds himself up, clinging to some sense of sanity. He can practically feel how bad Satoru’s cock ached beneath him. 

Suguru removes his grasp on Satoru’s balls, jutting his fingers in front of Satoru’s lips. He doesn’t even need to speak for Satoru to understand what he needed to do. 

Satoru lets spit drip from his mouth, collecting on Suguru’s long fingers. Suguru hums contentedly and brings his hand back, coating Satoru’s sensitive balls in the spit. 

Suguru rubs them gently while pushing into Satoru’s ass. 

You watch Suguru’s fingers clench Satoru’s hair tightly, no doubt a low thrum of pain shooting in his scalp. Your hand aches at how it needs to be contorted to fuck yourself, but you were too needy to stop. 

You wouldn’t be able to cum like this, and maybe that’s why Suguru was okay with letting you do it. 

You had one last weapon in your arsenal, and you hoped to god it would work. 

“S-satoru.” You mewl pathetically. 

Satoru’s eyes fill with more lust if that was even possible, and you watch as he pulls away from your calf. 

He looks at you through heavy white lashes, trying to keep his gaze focused on you while he pushes his upper body up. The skin on your leg already missed his touch.

Suguru might want to reprimand you, but Satoru might give in. 

“Yeah bunny?” 

You slow your hand down, fucking yourself at a languid pace. 

You moan out, craving something to push you over the edge. 

“What do you need?” Hard eyes set on you. 

“Need more Satoru, please baby, please.” You wiggle your hips down, attempting to fuck down onto the toy. 

He gives a small grin before moaning out once more. He had a tough job, juggling two positions. He needed to look strong for you, but it was hard to do that when Suguru was decimating his insides. 

Satoru lets Suguru keep him steady by his hips while he reaches forward, hands wrapping around your waist and dragging you down. Your pussy is placed directly under his face, and the sight was enticing. 

“Oh honey, you’re dripping.” He groans. 

His ass jiggles against Suguru’s hips. Suguru heaves out a heavy sigh as Satoru leans down, licking from the base of the toy all the way up to your tortured clit. 

“Ah! Thank you Satoru thank you!” You plead. 

“Satoru.” Suguru reprimands, pulling his hand from his hair to get a better grip on his hips. 

Suguru saw it coming really. Satoru liked the idea of punishing you, but he never was able to do it. Satoru gave into his desires too quickly every time. At least Suguru was able to save some face, refusing to give in until you learned your lesson. 

Suguru’s fingers press into Satoru’s hips, while he pistons himself forward. He could feel Satoru’s walls clenching down on his cock, making it almost impossible to pull out. 

You squirm around the bed trying to push the toy inside you while Satoru licks your clit. His soft pink flesh draws circles around your clit, sucking it into his mouth. 

“Let go.” He murmurs against you. 

You reluctantly let go of the toy, digging your teeth into your tongue. Satoru takes over and wraps his hand around the base of the toy, slowly beginning to fuck you with it. 

“Shit, fuck, Satoru wait!” You groan, not sure whether you want to arch into his touch or away from it. 

He keeps himself propped up with one hand while using the other to drive the toy further into you. He’s mesmerized by the sound it makes, closing his eyes and letting his tongue guide him. Your squeals fall on deaf ears as he fucks you with the pseudocock, listening as you get closer to the edge. 

Suguru feels Satoru’s ass clench around him as he gets more turned on by indulging in you. He can tell he’s close to the edge and all Suguru can focus on is spurring him over. He speeds his thrusts up, hearing the way Satoru groans into you. 

“Gonna cum for me pretty boy?” Suguru pants, feeling his cock twitch. 

“Yes, yes suguru!” He whines, sloppily licking your folds. 

“Say it again, correctly this time.” Suguru throws his head back, his eyes closing. 

“Yes sir, gonna cum for you, gonna cum hard, fuck, please!” 

Satoru erratically fucks you with the toy, the pace dizzying to you. You want to beg him to slow down, but you don’t think he’d be able to hear you over the sounds of his moans. You don’t think he’d listen anyway. 

Suguru pulls Satoru’s ass back, shoving him over the edge. Satoru whimpers as his cock twitches, cum shooting out dirtying your sheets below. As he cums, Suguru groans and forces himself to look down. He wanted to last longer but there was absolutely no way he was going to. His face pinches while he cums deep in Satoru. 

Satoru slows down as he tries to regain composure, but you’re so far off the deep end that pleas fall from your lips. 

“Please don’t stop, please more I, I-“ Tears fill your waterline, your body breaking down from being teased for so long. 

Satoru looks up at you, a new sense of energy filling him immediately. He places slow soft kisses around your pussy, your body twitching each time he makes contact. Suguru hisses as he pulls out of Satoru, eyes glued to the way his cum begins to drip out of his hole. 

Satoru crawls closer to you on his knees, finally stable enough. One of his hands starts to slowly build up speed with the toy while the other holds your thigh up, keeping you spread for him. 

“I got you bunny.” He soothes, dipping his tongue out to lick against you. 

You’re so far removed that you don’t even notice Suguru until the bed dips beside you. He sits next to your head, his beautiful hand smoothing your hair. You whimper, head leaning into his touch. 

“Satoru’s so nice to you baby, don’t you think?” He asks. 

Your words are incoherent at this point but he thinks you murmur an agreement. 

“Gonna reward him then? Cum for him?” 

Satoru’s eyes flick up to see your response and the look on your face almost sends all the blood draining back to his cock. You look wrecked, torn apart. Your hair was disheveled, tears staining your cheeks. 

You prop yourself up once more by your arms, needing to see the way Satoru pleasured you. He was a beautiful, beautiful man. 

Suguru wraps one arm in front of you, crossing over your chest to stop you from caving in on yourself. His other hand drapes around you, trailing up your hot sticky skin. You grab his hand and bring it close to your lips, desperate to have something fill your empty mouth. 

Suguru watches, always amazed at how you somehow got sexier. His two fingers fill your mouth, resting against your tongue. It helps your moans from spilling out, instead getting buried against his skin. Suguru’s pinky and thumb hold each side of your cheeks while he slowly finger fucks your mouth, watching as Satoru sucks your clit. 

You claw at the arm containing you. You wanted to curl in on yourself, you were quickly finding all the attention to be too much. Satoru speeds up his hand, tilting it so the toy beats against your sweet spot each time it enters. Your body tenses as you feel yourself cum, body scrambling beneath their strong hold. 

Suguru slowly drags his fingers out of your mouth but continues to hold you as you settle down. Satoru pulls the toy from you and licks up all your spilt cum. Your body stills in Suguru’s hold, your sniffling being the only sound in the room. 

Satoru places the toy to the side and helps lay your legs down. Seconds ago your body was brimming with electricity, but now you felt burnt out. Suguru leans down and kisses your head, standing up to move you so he can sit fully on the bed. He never once lets go of you, and picks you up to place you on his lap once he’s sat. He holds you as you tremble in his grasp, all emotions from the moment finally washing over you. 

“You did so good, baby.” He whispers, holding you tight against his chest. 

You nod and look up, meeting his gaze. He wears a soft smile as he fixes your hair for you. 

“Did I?” You ask, sounding hopeful. 

“Yes, you were perfect for us.” His eyes trace your face as if he needs to memorize each individual line. He does this even though he already committed them to memory years ago. 

“I’m sorry for being mean to you guys, I didn’t…” You try to hold back tears, regret flooding over you. 

You didn’t want to be mean to them, and the idea of hurting their feelings weighed heavily over you. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Suguru presses a kiss to your lips. 

“Punishments aren’t a bad thing baby. Sometimes you just need to be reminded, that’s all. Everyone can be a brat sometimes, just ask Satoru.” 

“Hey, I heard that.” Satoru grumbles, shuffling in bed, sitting beside Suguru. 

“I know you did.” Suguru tilts his head back and gives a small smirk to Satoru. 

They both share a quick kiss before returning their attention to you. 

Suguru initially preferred to watch you be forced to watch them, body screaming for their touch, but he was content with what happened as well. Each time you fell apart for them was something he loved. 

“I love you baby.” 

“I love you bunny.” 

Heat rises to your cheek and you wrap your arms around their shoulders, burying your face between them. 

“I love you both.” 

Being a brat hardly worked in your favor. 

But maybe for tonight it did. 

Tag List: @tojislittleprincesss

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[ms-demeanor]

Huh. Realized I made a soup from leftovers that would make a pretty decent beginner soup.

Leftover Turkey Pot Pie Soup

The goal of this soup is to be (relatively) quick and easy to prepare and to make use out of leftover poultry. It relies pretty heavily on pre-made ingredients (though you can make those ingredients yourself if you want to)

Ingredients:

Pre-cooked turkey or chicken (one large turkey breast, two medium chicken breasts). You can use leftovers, a grocery store rotisserie chicken, or, optionally, uncooked frozen chicken breasts or thighs. The poultry should not be breaded and the skin should be removed; if you are using uncooked frozen poultry you may want to taste more carefully and make sure to season sufficiently.

64oz poultry or vegetable stock (I used the stock I made out of turkey carcasses and my stock bags of kitchen trimmings from the freezer, but store bought is fine) (if you do not want to or cannot use stock, you can also just use water but you will likely have to add more spices and I would recommend adding one extra carrot and one extra onion)

3tbsp Cooking oil (can be olive oil or canola oil or butter - use what you've got handy and what tastes good to you, you don't have to buy something special for this)

1 cup of frozen peas

2 large carrots coarsely chopped

2 large onions coarsely chopped

3 tbsp cooking starch (most people use corn starch, I use potato starch because of food allergies. Any neutrally flavored starch is fine, but do not use flour).

1/2 cup milk/half and half/cream (you can use a combination or just one of these, it depends on what's in your kitchen and what taste you prefer)

Poultry seasoning (pre-made mix; alternately you can add sage, rosemary, and marjoram to taste. I added poultry seasoning then added extra sage and rosemary)

Salt

Black pepper

Paprika

Garlic powder

3 Bay Leaves

1tsp dried Parsley

Tools:

4-6 quart stock pot with a close-fitting lid

Chef's knife (for chopping vegetables and poultry)

Cutting board

Large cooking spoon

Small bowl

Fork or small whisk

Before you cook:

Read the entire recipe and check that you have all the tools and ingredients listed in your kitchen and ready for use.

Prep your kitchen - make sure there's room in the trash can, that the sink is clear of dishes, and that there is a burner on the stove clear for your pot. Designate a space close to the stove as your working area and set your cutting board there so you can easily transfer from your cutting board to the pot.

Gather your ingredients - make sure that you've got all the tools and ingredients listed. If you want to, you can take the time to measure out everything at this stage and have it ready to go in the pot.

Prep your ingredients - wash and chop your carrots, peel and chop your onions. Remove the skin from your poultry (if frozen, set the poultry aside, you will do something slightly different) and chop into bite-sized pieces.

Cooking Instructions:

Turn the heat on your stove to medium and warm the oil up in the bottom of the pan. Once it is shimmering and flowing easily, add the chopped carrots and onions to the pan.

Add a small amount of each of your seasonings to the pot - no more than half a teaspoon of each at this stage - and stir them in with the vegetables.

Stirring continuously, heat the vegetables and spices until the onions are softened and translucent.

If you are using pre-cooked poultry, add it to the pot and stir it in with the vegetables and spices (if you are using raw frozen poultry, don't add it to the pot yet). Add in the frozen peas at this point.

Add your broth or stock to the pot and stir, using your spoon to scrape the bottom of the pot to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom. Add the bay leaves to your pot. Increase the heat to high and watch the pot until it comes to a boil.

If you are using raw frozen poultry, NOW add the frozen meat (whole breasts or thighs still frozen) to the pot and bring to a boil. For raw frozen poultry ONLY keep the pot covered at a boil for thirty minutes, watching to make sure it doesn't boil over. Once the poultry has cooked for thirty minutes, use your spoon to remove the pieces from the pot and set them on your cutting board, then cut them into bite-sized pieces. Instructions are the same regardless of what meat you're using after this step.

Once the previous steps are finished, reduce the heat to a low simmer and cover the pot. Let simmer for half an hour.

Taste the soup and add spices and seasonings as needed. You will probably want to add more salt first, half a teaspoon at a time. Add in your salt then stir and simmer for five minutes before tasting again. Repeat as needed, adding spices in small amounts to adjust the flavor as you go.

Once the flavor is close to right, mix the milk and the starch in a small bowl, whisking thoroughly to ensure that there are no lumps. Gradually add the starch slurry to the soup a few tablespoons at a time. Stir between increments, checking for thickness. When the soup is at the desired thickness (should be quite thick, like what you would find inside of a pot pie) taste test the soup and adjust spices as needed.

Add parsley and do a final taste test, simmer for five minutes before serving.

If you want, you can let the soup cool and fill a pre-made pie crust with it (top and bottom crust, making sure to leave holes for venting) then bake in a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven for 40 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

For the slurry, I like to use 2:1 liquid to starch when mixing an use half and half for the slurry but add a couple of tablespoons of heavy cream after the soup has started to thicken; this is totally optional and if you just go based on what's in the recipe you should be fine.

How to make homemade stock, if you want to:

as you cook over the course of several weeks, gather things like onion tops, the ends of tomatoes, wilty celery, and whatever other safe-to-eat but unpleasant vegetable trimmings you've got and add them to a 1-gallon freezer bag.

Keep the bag in the freezer and add stuff until the bag is full. Once it's full, or if you happen to have a chicken or turkey carcass and a mostly-full bag, add the frozen trimmings and any meat trimmings or carcasses you have to a large stock pot (at least a two gallon pot).

Add in a few cloves of garlic and a few bay leaves

Add in water until the vegetables and trimmings are completely covered.

Bring to a boil.

Reduce heat and let simmer for a minimum of two hours.

Turn off the heat and let cool

Spoon or strain out the solids - one way to do this is to pour from the pot into a collander and into another large pot. You can also use a slotted spoon or a strainer or ladle out the liquid from the stock pot, but you want to discard the solids and keep the liquids.

Skim excess or undesired fat off of the stock and discard.

Ladle or pour the stock into containers for storage. I like to use cleaned salsa jars and leave about 20% of the space in the jar free, then freeze the stock in jars so I can use it whenever I want to.

If you aren't freezing the stock, use it within two weeks.

[apolloendymion]

ok! i think tumblr ate my fucking apple cider recipe post. still, my autumn equinox tradition must carry on!

Apollo's Foolproof From-Scratch Apple Cider That Was So Good It Allegedly Landed Me A Boyfriend

you will need:

12 apples (the variety is up to you, i usually do half granny smith and half whatever's on sale plus a red delicious for garnishing)

10oz raisins

cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, star anise, nutmeg, allspice, cardamom pods, any other warming spices u like (whole > ground) (follow ur heart on the amounts, it's like garlic just throw so much in there. just go wild)

1 orange

brown sugar (i don't have measurements but be prepared to use a LOT lmao, i always buy at least one 32oz bag. you'll be sweetening to taste.)

large pot with lid

potato masher (optional)

two large bowls/pots/receptacles to strain the cider into

fine mesh strainer

cheesecloth or coffee filters (optional)

apple corer or knife

citrus zester

slotted spoon or ladle

the steps:

1. scrub apples gently under hot water to remove grocery store wax coating. core apples making sure all seeds & stems are removed. add apples, raisins, and mulling spices to pot with enough water to fully cover ingredients, and bring to boil. reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 1 hour.

2. scrub orange to remove wax. zest and juice, avoiding the pith & seeds. use a potato masher or other utensil to lightly mash boiled apple mixture so every apple slice is at least partially broken up, then add the zest & juice to the pot. bring back to boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for another hour. then turn off the heat and allow mixture to cool.

3. place two mesh strainers over two bowls or pots (and cover each with a cheesecloth or coffee filters, if you have them). with a slotted spoon or ladle, remove as much of the solids from the pot as you can and place them in one strainer (the larger one, if they are different sizes) to drain, then press out as much liquid into the cheesecloth as possible.

4. pour the cider from the simmer pot into the second cheesecloth and press. combine the liquid from both bowls.

5. add brown sugar to taste

cooking tips:

the times listed above are bare minimums. once all the ingredients are in the pot (minus sugar!) you can simmer as long as you want, so long as someone's nearby to supervise.

always add any sweeteners after the cooking process. otherwise, they'll burn and make the whole thing bitter.

if it's too acidic, add baking soda or more spices. if it's not acidic enough, add lemon juice, additional orange juice, or apple cider vinegar.

variations:

add 12oz fresh cranberries to the first step

sub oranges for lemons or apple cider vinegar

sub brown sugar for straight molasses, maple syrup, or alternative sweetener of your choice (I'd imagine fig or other fruit-based sweeteners would work best)

report back to me if you try something new!! i want to hear how it turned out!

serving suggestions:

add three or four cinnamon imperials (red hots) to your mug, along with a dash of fireball whiskey if you're so inclined. i cannot stress enough how fucking amazing this tastes.

garnish with apple slices, orange slices, cinnamon sticks, and/or star anise

if you have dairy-free ice cream on hand, pour some cider over a scoop. you can use dairy ice cream, but it's more likely to curdle.

freeze some in an ice cube tray, then blend with some non-frozen cider for a slushie

ok I've never tried this, but i bet blending with pumpkin puree would slap. PLEASE tell me if you try it

this makes a metric fuckload of cider, which is very rich and can be watered down considerably (seriously). share with your friends and/or freeze some to last the season (or halve it, i guess, but that's no fun :P)

[najia-cooks]

Hey Najia! I love this blog so much! I have a question. I find cooking pretty difficult sometimes. I'm chronically ill and also the kitchen stresses me out a bit because I'm very scatterbrained and there's knives and fire and stuff. I also fuck things up in the kitchen pretty easy. Are there any recipes on here you find particularly easy to make? That you'd recommend for when you just cannot be arsed? Hope you're having a wonderful day, I know it's your birthday 😄🎉

Thank you!

I can understand your stress—cooking can involve things that are objectively dangerous and also time-sensitive. I'd recommend:

Try recipes where you don't have to come into direct contact with the blades you use. Some Indian dals, for example, cook lentils in a sauce made from blended onion, tomato, and garlic; you could process them using a food processor or blender. A lot of things (fresh salsa, guacamole, a duqqa of garlic, chilies, and spices that you can throw in to cook with some lentils) can be prepared in a mortar and pestle, too.

I've never used one, but a vegetable chopper might help in a similar way that a food processor would, by reducing the amount of knifework that you have to do. There are a lot of recipes where a chopped onion is the only knifework required.

Also try recipes that are cooked in the oven, and not on the stovetop. Something that gets thrown into the oven on low heat to cook (like a casserole or fukharat dish) takes longer, but is more hands-off, than something that's cooked on the stove.

Do all of your prep work first. Read through the recipe and see what chopping, blending &c. needs to be done, prep each ingredient, and put it in its own little bowl. This includes anything in the ingredients list that says "1 onion, diced" or similar: do that right off the bat. If the recipe says "meanwhile" or asks you to do prep for anything while anything else is cooking, you might choose to disregard that and do all the prep first, depending on how long the cook time is and how much attention it needs (e.g., soup on a low simmer for half an hour can pretty much be left alone; anything in a frying pan cannot). This way you won't be rushing to chop anything quickly while worrying that something else is going to overcook.

Look for vegetables, like broccoli / cauliflower / romanesco and green beans, that can be broken up with your hands rather than chopped. Rip up cilantro and parsley rather than chopping them.

Admittedly "simple" is not the guiding principle of this blog, but here are some recipes that I think could be easily adapted:

Fukharat l3des: just one onion to chop. Cooked on low heat in the oven.

Fried tofu sandwich: just mixing sauces and spices. You can skip coating the tofu in cornstarch and frying it. Instead try freezing the whole block, thawing it, cutting into two or four pieces, and then marinating it in a plastic bag with your sauce overnight. Then bake the tofu for 15-20 minutes, turning once, at 350 °F (180 °C).

Roasted celery and potato soup: requires only very rough chopping; the cooking methods are baking and simmering. The fried tempering could be skipped by just adding those ingredients into the simmer earlier.

Carrot salad or chickpea salad or tapenade: you could throw all of the ingredients in a food processor.

Moroccan lentils: just an onion and tomato to grate or process.

Kashmiri lal chaman: the only thing you need to cut is tofu; the gravy is just water and spices. You could bake the tofu instead of frying it.

Black bean burgers: no chopping or frying if you omit the onion and carrot and elect to bake the finished patties.

'Chicken' and olive tajine: the marinade is blended or pounded, and there is no other prepwork to do other than chopping one onion. Everything can be simmered on low heat until cooked, so it's pretty hands-off.

Chana pulao: mostly rice, chickpeas, and spices. Some aromatic prep, but you could crush instead of chopping those.

Romanesco quiche: no knifework at all if you omit the aromatics and break aprt the romanesco with your hands.

Spanish garlic mushrooms: just crush garlic instead of slicing and buy pre-sliced mushrooms. There is frying, though.

Eggplant cooked salad: the eggplant is broiled and then spooned out. No knifework required if you use tomato puree.

Butternut squash soup: just roasting and simmering. No knifework required if you omit the aromatics and buy pre-cubed squash.

Dishes with a base of lentils, chickpeas, beans, rice, and/or noodles are great because there's no knifework that needs to be done to prepare the beans &c. themselves.

[smallraindrops-blog]

Sacred Ingredients

Zagreus/Male!reader 

Fandom: Hades (2019 game)

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: There was a new cook in the house

warnings: Implied reader death, no beta.

Notes:

The fic that is the reason yall have been seeing so many food posts lately.

This is the first response for the wholesome Zagreus x male reader request. I took my time with this since I wasn’t sure if I was following the prompt.

To the anon, thanks for the wait. If this isn’t what you wanted, please lmk and I will be happy to redo it. I do hope you enjoy this one.

Important: often people would use other names for the gods to avoid bringing unnecessary attention to themselves. Our reader is one of those people.

Enjoy!

~

One of your first memories was of your Mom holding a small bit of cake between her fingers. 

It was made of thin layers of dough, heavy with sheep cheese, crushed nuts and honey, so heavy with it that the dipping honey caught the sunlight just before you bit in.

Sweet. Creamy. Nutty. All combining together in your mouth as you chew.

You groaned in pure delight as she laughed, getting you a plate with a much bigger piece. See? I told you that you would like it. Mama is never wrong. Not with food.

Just like that, food had became your life. To you, there was no better way to say ‘I love you’ than by cooking someone a good meal.

You learned how to perfectly roast fishes, how to stuffed chicken, the right moment to add herbs or how to use olive oils or butter to add rich flavors to the dish. You learned how to knead the bread, how to time the rise just right and the best spots in the stone ovens to place the loaf. 

Food was everything. It was the bittersweet memory of your mama’s hand on your cheek after a sickness took her far too soon, it was a way to feed your family while working hard as a fisherman, it was a way to earn your place among warriors and kings. 

You loved all of it, even as the other men had scoffed at you for enjoying women’ work. However they never turned away a meal you cooked, at home or in the war tents.

The very last thing you cooked, a recipe your mama taught you, was a simple bread, meant for dipping in wine. 

Barley flour. Dry yeast from the grapes. Then you added the simple spice mix you came up with and always added in. The one that had people waiting outside for your bakery before the markets opened.

Parsley. Rosemary. Oregano. Garlic cloves smashed up and added into the bread, and just a little dash of salt.

You had set one aside for yourself for later.

You never got to eat it. 

~

When the news came that the terrifying god of the underworld was looking for a new cook, you didn’t hesitate.

To get a spot in the house of the gods was prime time. It meant respect, a place to live and most importantly it meant regular income. That was money you can send to your mama and sisters so they can get into a better area of Asphodel.

You had spent hours over the cake. 

You made sure that each layer of the dough was perfect, thin and flakey with a satisfying bite, that the cheese was the perfect amount of tangy creaminess, that nuts were crushed to the right size, that the honey was placed in the perfect spot to complement the cheese and nuts.

This had to work because your family worked hard to get the coin to order such things from the expensive shop of the boatman.

Even the neighbors had pitched in, with the promise that you will pay them back.

You took a nervous breath as you shifted on your feet, winced as the terrifying King of Below tossed aside the meal someone brought him, promptly dismissing them. 

“And another one bites the dust.” The sleep god muttered as he crossed something off a list.

He looked up, blinking heavy downturned eyes at them. You and the other commoners were careful to keep their gazes low, not willing to show any disrespect to any of the gods.

The gentle one huffed and gestured for the one before you to go ahead. You were up after this, assuming that the person before you didn’t have something amazing. 

The underworld King made a loud gagging sound and wordlessly dismissed the shade. Gentle one only clicked his tongue as he crossed out another line and shook his head, white curls flopping around. 

“Good luck, buddy.” He told you with a cheerful grin, using his quill to point to the desk.

Did the gods normally call people buddy?

With a deep breath, you went to the looming desk, feeling like you were meeting the fates themselves. 

“And what is this?” The King of those below growled, his haunting eyes locked onto you like a predatory bird. His hellhound shifted next to him, their three noses twitching at the food.

“This is a plakous, my lord.” You said, proud that your voice was stronger than you expected. “Made with wheat dough, rich honey-“

The King held up a large hand and you stopped speaking, fearing you had already lost your chance. A shade took the plate from you and brought it to their master. 

You held your breath as he took the first bite, your heart no longer beat but you swore you felt it in that moment, slamming against your chest. He chewed slowly and his bloody red eyes slowly went wide.

A hush fell over the grand hall.

Then the King did something he didn’t do with any other meal, he went back for a second bite.

After that bite, he peered down at you for a long, long time.

“Is this all you can cook?” His voice broke over you like thunder. You shook your head, your hands curled up nervously 

“No, my lord. I have created meals for kings and I can cook many things. Meat of all kinds. And bread, vegetables and so on.” You wished you were a more eloquent man, but that had never been needed before.

Not to mention such an education was beyond your reach.

And your food alway did the talking for you. 

The king took a third bite then tossed the rest to the hellhound, the animal eating in a single swipe of its tongue. The tail wagged once, thumping on the floor. 

The Wealthy One nodded slowly.  “You may start today.”

~

The kitchen size alone would have made your mama weep with joy. The amount of fresh produce, herbs and clean grains along with plenty of meat made your jaw drop. 

You clapped your hand together in thought then…You hit the ground running. 

There was an endless list of tasks to be done before the kitchen would be ready to open and you went through all the tasks with horse blinders on, determination fueling you.

The first meal you officially served Master was a few of salted and peppered trout with a garlic lemon sauce with butter and herbs along with a hearty lentils soup, warm sourdough bread for the soup and sauce.

You added a fresh cucumber salad along with a large plate filled with cheeses and fruits that would compliment the fish.

When the plates came back, clean of even a drop of sauce, you felt something loosen in your chest. 

~

Eventually you began to learn the house's routine and the many shades. You learned to always have some type of bread readied with olive oil. 

You learned what went fast and what you had to jazz up to get rid of. 

The most important lesson you had learned in life and one that remained unchanged even now was that most souls just wanted something that tasted like home. 

It was toward the end of the kitchen hours when you heard someone take a seat.

Even at this late hour and working alone, you weren’t one to turn away a hungry soul so after wiping your hands on your apron, you turned with a smile.

“Welcome! What can I…” your words trailed off, your eyes going wide as you realized who was sitting in one of the barstools.

The Prince of the underworld gave you an exhausted, crooked grin. There was a curious gleam in those mismatched eyes, the strong lines of his cheeks softened by the dim lights of the lounge.

He was inhumanly beautiful in the ways all divine beings were.

But there was something different to his handsomeness.

Unlike the soft loveliness of Sleep, the sleek grace of the Fury or the dark shocking beauty of Night herself, this god before looked almost moral like. It was his eyes that revealed his godhood. It was the power in his broad shoulders.

You were surprised by how much you liked it.

“So you are the new cook everyone is raving about.” The Prince said, leaning on his forearms to peer at you. You saw the strength in his arms, his quick grace as he moved. Strong and muscular with thick tendons upward from the knuckles. 

It was clear this god was a warrior of a sort.

Your eyes flickered down in embarrassment when you realized you were being disrespectful in your staring. 

“I believe so, your highness.” You said, bowing your head in a show of respect for his position. “How may I serve you?” 

“Honestly?” The Prince leaned, scanning the area behind you. “Whatever you have will work. The last cook we had working here would just give us sliced onions if we came in this late. Once he gave Hypnos a single apple peel for daring to ask for something else.”

He sounded amused, chuckling to himself at the memory. It was a nice laugh, deep and rich.

You couldn’t imagine being so rude to the gods. Your mom was a pious woman and even a quiet sigh during prayers would get you a disapproving look.

With a nod, you went to get the Prince his meal and drink.

Thankfully you had a leftover trout and tossed one onto the grill to cook as you prepared a bowl of cabbage for him, added in spices along with honey vinegar and silphium.

You had some bread and garlic cheese so you plated those as well with olives and grapes.

You decided to give him a rich red that most enjoyed, filling it up to the brim.

“Oh wow.” The prince muttered as you set everything in front of him and with a bow, you rushed back to the fish, flipping it over. Once it was ready with some garlic butter sauce, you brought it to him. 

“Please let me know if you would like for me to serve you more or cook something else for you.” You told him and the prince blinked at you, his mouth filled with bread and cheese. 

The prince waved a hand before you left him for his meal. He drank the wine deeply before placing it back down. You immediately refilled it. “This is plenty, my good shade. Thank you.”

With a respectful nod, you resumed cleaning up the kitchen. Counters got wiped down, supplies restocked but it wasn’t the usual relaxing routine it normally was.

You felt the weight of those divine eyes on you. The Prince was quiet as he ate but you caught quick glimpses of his curious gaze on the shine of the plates, or reflection in your knives.

It was only when the Prince left that you let yourself breathe.

~

Master liked large meals but only if they could be eaten quickly. The only thing you had been warned never to add was pomegranates. No one would tell you why.

The Gorgon, the creature was surprisingly sweet for all the horrible tales you heard of her kind, ate in a rush as well.

If you were smarter, maybe you could have made a clever joke about how the lowest server and the King of the Underworld ate the same way.

But one look into her smiling face held your tongue. She was always kind so you would be so in return.

The Fury was a regular companion of hers, requesting simple meals of fish and some types of roasted vegetables. Mostly she would drink deeply, often you would have a pitcher of wine put aside for her. 

Sometimes Dreaded Death would join her, unwelcoming to all and cool. He rarely ordered any food, his fingers drumming on the table sounded like funeral marches to your ears. 

His twin was the complete opposite, Gentle Sleep had a sweet tooth unlike anything else you have seen. Often he would ignore the dinner option altogether and eat slices of cake, candied figs or honeycombs. 

If you weren’t careful around the god, plates of cookies that were meant for the whole house would go missing around him. 

You still haven’t found the last two plates he stole from you.

And...

There was The Prince himself. 

He was a regular now, always sitting close to wherever your work station was that day. He also was the only one who ate anything you put on a plate for him, and would shove the meal into his mouth like a starving creature. You always made sure to give him larger servings.

“Tell me your name.”  He ordered you one day. His tone was deep, firm. Making it clear he wouldn’t take no for an answer.  “You keep feeding me delicious food, no matter the hour. And I don't know what to call you.”

Then he added with raised eyebrows, sounding more like a playful suitor than a Chthonic god. “Please?”

You considered it, your hands still on the bowl of the hardy stew just placed before the god. You stared at the stew for a moment, then at him.

Or just past him, not willing to meet the god’s eyes, life and death danced in those unusual eyes of his.

You were a moral, a simple one at that. 

You never picked up a sword, never learned all the fancy learnings that a prince might, never learned much beyond what you needed to but you knew names had powers, could decide whole destinies before a babe even wailed out their first cry. 

Names could summon the gods themselves.

Quietly, you told him.

The prince grinned at you, his smile fierce and beautiful like a victorious lion. Your breath hitched, forgetting that one was to never look the gods in the eye.

Then the next words he spoke early jumped started your heart into beating once more. 

“It suits you, my good cook. Call me Zagreus.” 

~

Later, alone in the kitchen, recipes laid in front of you, you tried to will yourself to focus.

Schooling was too costly for your family especially after your Mother’s death. Your reading went far as basic words and numbers, just enough to get by in the markets.

You never needed much. 

Right now, however, the recipes might as well be another language. 

You were too lost in thought, several times you had already caught yourself even daring to think The Prince’s name in your mind.

What would happen if you dare to…

Zagreus.

A soft noise came behind you and You whirled around, glancing everywhere as if expecting him to appear right behind you. 

He didn’t. 

You realized you heard the sounds of the Wretched Broker restocking his shelves. Thankfully, he was too busy to realize that the House’s cook had gone mad simply by learning a God’s name. 

Maybe you should start wearing a pot on your head.

“Zagreus.” You whispered, fingernails digging your palm nervously. “Zagreus.”

When the god didn’t appear, you didn’t know if you were disappointed or relieved.

~

Slowly, you learned more. 

There were the loud fights between Father and Son that would cause the house to rattle. Many shades would escape into the lounge, hands over their ears.

”Tell me, do you get along with your father?” Zagreus grumbled, his plate cleared of any crumbs. His legs were bouncing, filled with an endless energy you knew you would never be able to match. 

“No.” You said, not wanting to think of that man. You knew he was somewhere in the underworld but the less you knew, the better. “I suspect few do.”

Once, over a glass of white wine and a simple meal of sourdough bread and warm vegetable soup, He told you was looking for his mother.  

“You will find her. I know you will.” You told him quietly, holding his stare. “Have faith, Zagreus.”

Another time, over a cake from a new recipe you came up with, Zagreus asked about you. Maybe it was the exhaustion after a successful dinner rush but you told him everything. 

His smile was warm, his eyes watchful of your every move as you told him of your family and their new place you brought for them. 

Your cheeks flushed when you realized he was staring at you.

“I will have to stop by then.” He teased, his hand almost brushing against yours. 

“Yes.” You agreed in a whisper, your mouth suddenly dry.

~

“Cook me your favorite meal.” Zagreus ordered one day, not even bothering to sit down. You lifted a cool eyebrow, well used to his impulsiveness by now.  

“Hello, Zagreus.” You greeted dryly, wiping your hands on your apron, not actually that upset.

Not too long ago, you would have wilted from the thought of being so playful with a divine creature but things changed.

Zagreus brought it out of you somehow simply by being himself. 

“I am doing well, thank you.” You continued to teased despite his oddly serious expression.

Zagreus blinked, then chuckled with a bright grin. “I am a horrible influence on you, I fear.”

You laughed, cheeks flushing at his smile. “I am afraid so, your Highness. Now what is this about a favorite meal?”

“Yours. I want to know what your favorite food is.” 

“Oh.” You grabbed an apple, rolling it in your hands for something to do. Butterflies dancing in your stomach as Zagreus leaned in, his hands on the counter. This close, you caught the scent of copper.

unwillingly, your gaze tangled with his, caught like a fly in a complex web. A stray thought reached you, could a mere fly understand the geometric structure, beauty of such things?

You swallowed nervously. “It’s nothing special, Zagreus. Just something my mom cooked up for me.”

Zagreus narrowed his eyes, his jaw firm in his resolve. “Excellent, then. I trust you have all the ingredients you need?”

You nodded but opened your mouth to dissuade the prince from his idea, however he was already walking away, “I expect a meal to be waiting for me when I get back!”

~

One day, staring at a wooden spoon in your hand, cake batter dipping from the tip, you realized that Zagreus had became someone very, very dear to you. 

Morals and gods didn't mix together well. At least, not for the morals. Cracked eggs and spilled milk and all left would be a big mess with no one to clean it. 

What did it mean when a shade, a mere ghost of who you were, was in love with a god that shone like the sun, whose very presence made you felt like you were alive once more?

~

When Zagreus returned, his hair was still damp from the Styx river and you had to look away from his beauty.

Quietly, you put the final touches on your favorite meal. You swallowed nervously as you picked up the plate and went over to him. 

Thin layers of dough. Creamy cheese. Crushed nuts. Honey.

A long ago memory of your mom's smiling face as she watched you take a bite. Sunlight made her golden and immortal in that singular moment in your very heart.

You offered it up like the cake was a sacrifice, like you were offering yourself up to the god to make the final decision of the worth of your mortal soul.

“This is the first thing I can remember my mom making for me.” You whispered, your work rough fingers curled nervously against the counter. “This meal is what got me a job here. I got to know you because of this cake.”

Zagreus took a small bite, then closed his eyes in bliss. He said your name with a weight that you never heard before. 

When he looked at you, his expression gentle and hopelessly fond, there was no need for more words. 

~

When he kissed you for the first time, he tasted like home. 

[rootedinrevisions]

Enough for You: Part 3

SUMMARY: After he showed up unexpectedly at your door trying to make amends, you and Tyler spend a cozy evening together, starting with making dinner in the kitchen as light banter fills the space. After a fun and easygoing meal, the two of you curl up on the couch to watch TV, enjoying each other's presence and sharing quiet moments. As the night winds down, you ask Tyler to stay the night, feeling comforted by his warmth and company. Tyler, happy to stay, holds you close as you both drift off into a peaceful sleep, deepening the bond that has grown between you.

WARNINGS: Fluff.

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

OTHER PARTS: PART 1 I PART 2

NOTE: There will be a PART 3! I have it mostly written and just need to finish editing it. Part 2 got away from me so I decided to break it up as to not have one crazy long fic.

TAG LIST: @omgbrianab I @shanimallina87 I @callsign-diva I @starshinegrl I @willowpains I @beltzboys2015-blog I @fanficmom94 I @smoothdogsgirl I @djs8891

Later you and Tyler had settled into the comfort of your couch as the world outside seems to fade away. The warmth of his presence next to you, the way his hand rests on your knee, and the steady rhythm of his breathing create a bubble of serenity around you. Time feels like it’s slowing down as you both get lost in the closeness and talk. The tension from the past week melts away as you slowly lean your head on his shoulder. You hadn’t planned to spend the past few hours on the couch with him, but it’s as though neither of you can bear to let go of the other.

It isn’t until the soft grumble of a stomach fills the silence that you both freeze, then exchange an amused look. 

"Was that you or me?" Tyler teases with a chuckle, his hand giving your knee a playful squeeze. 

You can’t help but laugh, realizing how long you’ve been so engrossed in each other that dinner slipped both your minds. “I guess we kind of forgot to eat,” you say, grinning up at him. 

"Guess it's time to get out of this cocoon and figure out dinner, huh?" Tyler jokes, but neither of you seem quite ready to move.

Tyler glances around your apartment and then nods toward the kitchen. “How about we cook something here? I’m no chef, but I think I can handle pasta this time.”

You raise an eyebrow, the memory of his past cooking adventures making you smirk. “Are you sure you’re up for the challenge? Last time you tried to make pasta, we almost had to call the fire department”

He laughs, shaking his head. You bite back a smile, feeling a sense of ease wash over you as you both drift toward the kitchen, the earlier tension between you replaced with a playful energy. It feels natural—like slipping back into a rhythm you didn’t realize you missed. Together, you start pulling out ingredients, ready to tackle dinner as a team, side by side.

“You’re actually going to follow the recipe this time, right?” you tease, referencing that one infamous night with the team when his attempt at cooking had been… less than successful.

He rolls his eyes dramatically but grins, a mock-serious tone in his voice. “I promise, no improvising tonight. We’re sticking to the directions like my life depends on it.”

You laugh, stepping up beside him as he starts boiling the water. Together, you work on the sauce—chopping garlic, stirring in tomatoes, and adding the perfect amount of seasoning. The kitchen fills with the rich, savory aroma, and the easy banter between you feels as natural as breathing. You catch him stealing glances at you now and then, the soft kind of looks that make your heart skip a beat.

At one point, you’re standing close, both concentrating on the sauce. Tyler hands you a spoon and nods toward the pan. “Go on, taste test. Let’s see if we nailed it.”

You take a bite, humming in approval, but before you can respond, Tyler’s gaze sharpens. His lips twitch into a grin. 

“You’ve got a little… right there,” he says, gesturing to your lower lip where some of the sauce must have landed.

Before you can wipe it away, Tyler steps closer, his eyes fixed on yours as his hand reaches up. His thumb brushes gently against your lip, lingering for just a second too long. There’s a charged silence, the air between you suddenly thick with tension.

Then, in one smooth motion, Tyler’s lips hover over yours. Instead of wiping the sauce away, he closes the distance and gently kisses it off, his lips brushing yours in a brief, heated moment. His mouth lingers for a beat, as if considering whether to deepen the kiss, but he pulls back just enough to meet your eyes.

You feel your heart race as his thumb traces a light line across your lip, and you both let out soft laughs to ease the tension, though neither of you moves far away from each other.

“Well, I’d say that’s pretty good,” Tyler says, his voice low, and the double meaning doesn’t escape you.

After a second, you step back, breaking the tension with a smile. “Let’s see if the rest of the meal lives up to that standard.”

You sit down together at your small dining table, a cozy space that feels perfect for the two of you. The pasta is simple, but delicious, and you both dig in, the conversation flowing effortlessly.

Tyler leans back, twirling his fork in the pasta. “So, be honest… was the sauce better than last time?” he asks with a grin, clearly referring to his past kitchen disasters.

You smirk and tilt your head. “It was way better. This time, I didn’t feel like I was risking my life.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “I’m never living that down, am I?”

“Nope,” you say with a grin, taking another bite. The warmth between you isn’t just from the food—it’s from the way you feel sitting across from him, sharing something simple, yet meaningful.

The conversation meanders from lighthearted memories of the team to more personal things. Tyler shares a little about his week, and you talk about yours. Every now and then, he’ll throw in a joke that makes you laugh, and each time, his smile grows wider, like your laughter is exactly what he needed to hear.

At some point, the meal slows down, and the pauses between words become longer. But the silences aren’t awkward—they’re comfortable, filled with the sound of utensils against plates and the occasional soft smile exchanged between you both.

Tyler leans back in his chair, watching you for a moment before speaking. 

“This feels good,” he says quietly, almost to himself. His eyes linger on yours, and you know he’s talking about more than just the dinner.

You nod, your heart swelling with a quiet happiness. “Yeah,” you agree softly. “It does.”

With dinner finished and the dishes stacked in the sink, the atmosphere between you and Tyler has settled into something soft and warm, like an easy current pulling you both along. The quiet hum of the street outside your apartment window is a gentle backdrop as you both make your way to the couch, the leftovers tucked away and the weight of the evening hanging in the air like a comfortable blanket.

You grab a couple of throw pillows and settle into your usual corner of the couch, feeling the softness beneath you as Tyler sits next to you, his arm casually resting along the back. His presence feels different tonight—not distant, not guarded—just close. Like the space between you both has finally disappeared, leaving only a warmth that feels entirely new but somehow familiar.

“You know,” Tyler says, leaning back, “this is probably the most relaxed I’ve felt in a while.” He tilts his head toward you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Though that might be the carbs talking.”

You laugh, the sound light and effortless. “I guess a successful meal can do that.”

His eyes twinkle. “I told you I’d follow the recipe this time.”

There’s a pause, the kind where neither of you feels the need to fill it. The quiet hum of your living room lamp and the distant sounds of life beyond your apartment windows make the world feel small, like it's just the two of you in this cozy bubble. You pull your legs up underneath you, feeling the comfort of the moment settle in.

Tyler glances over at the TV remote sitting on the coffee table. “Movie?” he suggests, though there’s an undertone in his voice that says he’s just as content to keep talking, to keep soaking in this rare and quiet space you’ve found together.

“Yeah,” you nod, reaching for the remote. “Something light.”

As you scroll through your options, you feel Tyler shift closer to you, his knee gently brushing against yours. It’s subtle but enough to send a pleasant warmth coursing through you. You glance over and catch him looking at you, his expression soft, almost thoughtful, as though he’s savoring every second of this moment.

“You pick,” he says softly. “I’ll watch whatever you want.”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow. “Even if it’s a rom-com?”

He chuckles, leaning back. “Even if it’s a rom-com. I’m trying to earn brownie points here.”

You laugh, and before long, you settle on a movie—a lighthearted one neither of you has seen before. But as it begins to play, you find that you’re more aware of Tyler’s presence next to you than anything happening on the screen. 

His arm eventually slides down from the back of the couch, wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you gently into his side. The contact is natural, easy, like he’s done it a thousand times before. And maybe, in some alternate version of your life, he has.

For a while, neither of you speaks. You just sit there, wrapped in each other’s warmth, the glow of the TV casting soft shadows around the room. At some point, your head naturally leans into his shoulder, and his fingers trace light, absentminded circles on your arm. You feel his steady breathing, his heart beating in rhythm with yours.

Tyler’s voice breaks the quiet after a while, soft and almost hesitant. You tilt your head slightly to look up at him. “I’m really glad I came tonight.”

His words are simple, but the weight of them lingers. You feel a swell of warmth in your chest, and you nod, a smile spreading across your face.

“Me too.”

He holds your gaze for a moment longer before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. It’s tender, full of unspoken promises that neither of you are rushing to put into words just yet.

The movie drones on in the background, but for the rest of the night, the only thing that matters is the quiet, cozy space the two of you have built together—one that feels like it’s always been waiting for this moment.

As the credits roll on the movie, the soft hum of the television is the only sound in the room. You glance over at Tyler, who’s been quiet for the last few minutes, his arm still wrapped comfortably around you. The warmth of his body feels like an anchor, keeping you grounded in this perfect, simple moment.

Tyler shifts slightly, and with a gentle touch, he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers linger there for a moment longer than necessary, his eyes searching yours. “You okay?” he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he’s afraid to disturb the peace you’ve found together.

You smile, a soft, genuine smile, and nod. “Yeah,” you whisper back, the word carrying more meaning than its simplicity suggests. Everything feels right in this moment—more right than anything has in a long time.

Tyler’s eyes flicker with something deeper as he leans in, brushing his lips gently against yours. The kiss is slow, tender, as if he’s savoring it, committing every second to memory. When he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and he asks again, quieter this time, “You sure?”

You look up into his eyes, feeling a rush of emotion well up inside you. You could pretend to be calm, but the truth is, this moment feels like a turning point, like everything you’ve been waiting for is finally within reach. “I don’t want you to leave,” you confess, your voice soft but filled with vulnerability. The words hang in the air, delicate and full of meaning.

Tyler pauses for a beat, his thumb brushing gently along your cheek. His gaze holds yours, as though he’s searching for any hint of uncertainty. “I can stay,” he says, his voice low and careful, “if you want me to.”

You feel your chest tighten at the tenderness in his words, and you nod, your heart racing. “I want you to stay,” you murmur, the vulnerability in your voice now mirrored by the warmth in his eyes. 

You smile, and without saying anything more, you take his hand, leading him down the short hallway to your bedroom. Once inside, the atmosphere shifts slightly—more intimate, more real. You reach for a pair of soft pajamas while Tyler tugs off his shirt, the sound of fabric falling to the floor barely registering as you change. When you turn around, you find him standing there, stripped down to his boxers, watching you with that same look in his eyes—like he’s seeing you for the first time.

You both climb into bed, the sheets cool and inviting. Tyler lies back, his arm automatically reaching out for you, an open invitation. Without hesitation, you curl up into his side, your head resting on his chest as his arm wraps around you, holding you close. His heartbeat is steady beneath your ear, a calming rhythm that makes you feel completely safe.

For a few moments, the two of you just lie there, the silence between you filled with the kind of comfort that doesn’t need words. But eventually, Tyler’s fingers start tracing lazy patterns on your back, and his voice breaks the quiet.

“This feels good,” he says softly, his breath warm against the top of your head.

You nod, your eyes half-closed, the weight of the day finally catching up with you. “It does,” you agree, your voice thick with sleep.

There’s a brief pause before Tyler speaks again, quieter this time. “I’ve missed you.” His fingers continue their gentle path along your back, his voice carrying the weight of everything unspoken between you.

You tilt your head slightly, just enough to look up at him. His expression is soft, and in the dim light of the room, you can see the tenderness in his eyes. “I’ve missed you too,” you admit, the words coming out in a sleepy murmur as you feel yourself beginning to drift off.

Tyler’s hand stills on your back, and you feel him press a gentle kiss to the top of your head, the warmth of his lips lingering against your skin. “Get some sleep,” he whispers, his voice barely audible now. “I’ll be right here.”

And with that, you let the last of your worries fade away. You’re safe, comfortable, wrapped up in Tyler’s arms. The world outside can wait—right now, all that matters is this moment, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath you, and the warmth of his body next to yours.

Tyler stays awake for a few minutes longer, watching as your breathing evens out and your body relaxes against his. A small smile tugs at his lips as he presses another kiss to your forehead, his heart full. “Sweet dreams, beautiful,” he whispers, though he knows you’ve already fallen asleep. He closes his eyes then, pulling you even closer as he finally allows himself to drift off too, knowing that when morning comes, you’ll still be right there, next to him.

[vanilla-cigarillos]

Comforting Chicken Stew for Lazy Days (Recipe)

Nothing makes me feel better on a chilly day than coming home to a pot of long-simmering stew. With the colder seasons coming up, I wanted to share with you babes a lovely chicken stew that I hope brings you comfort <3

Ingredients:

4 and 1/2 cups chicken thighs (3 lbs) diced

Canola oil

3 TBSP butter

1 yellow onion finely chopped

1/3 cup flour

6 garlic cloves, finely minced

1 TBSP tomato paste

2 TSP thyme, fresh or dried

1/4 TSP sage, dried

4 cups chicken broth (I use reduced sodium)

2 TBSP cooking white wine (real wine is suitable, but use double the listed amount)

1 cup red potatoes, chopped into 1/2” pieces (not too small or they get too mushy)

1 cup Yukon gold potatoes, chopped 1/2" pieces

3 large carrots peeled and sliced

2 bay leaves

1 cup peas, frozen

1/2 cup heavy cream (to make the stew lighter, sub more chicken broth, half and half or just milk instead)

1 TBSP parsley, fresh and minced

Instructions:

Pat the chicken dry so that cooking brings out more caramelization and color, then season with salt and pepper to your liking

Heat a large skillet over medium high heat and add a drizzle of oil. Cook the chicken in batches, about 5 - 6 minutes, flipping occasionally until golden and cooked through

Heat the butter in the skillet and add the onions, cooking until softened and stirring occasionally (~6 - 8 minutes).

Add the flour and garlic, stir for 20 seconds and then add the tomato paste, thyme and sage, cooking until fragrant (~1 minute)

Slowly whisk in half of the chicken broth and the cooking wine, scraping up any bits from the chicken

Add the potatoes and carrots along with the remaining broth and cooking wine. Simmer with the lid on over medium-low heat for 10 minutes

Add all ingredients except the peas and cream into the slow cooker and cover. Cook for 4-5 hours

Discard the bay leaves, then stir in the peas and cream. Add the lid and cook for 5 more minutes

Serve with fresh parsley, and salt and pepper to taste

This stew is also good to be frozen for later. Make sure you let it cool completely, then put it in and air tight container or heavy duty freezer bag.

[foxxxyana]

Hey you!

It’s fall and you’re probably thinking “damn I wanna make a hearty stew but I don’t have a recipe in mind maybe a cute girl could give me her recipe for beef stew and show hole while doing so?” Well I’m not showing hole for free but I do have a pretty damn good stew recipe that’ll make your holes quiver more than a chilly lot lizard at a truck stop Arby’s.

In some seriousness I made this a couple weeks ago, came a little eating it and I want to spread that seed of joy as much as I can this Mariah Carey season.

———

Alright so here is a list of ingredients in very rough measurements

1 pound stew beef (could also be any fairly lean and cheap cuts of beef) cubed

1 cup of carrots chopped or whole baby carrots

One medium onion chopped (any variety is fine but I used yellow onions)

1 pound of red potatoes quartered (you can add another half pound if you love potatoes a Samwise Gamgee amount)

2 32 oz cartons of unsalted or lightly salted beef stock (+ maybe one smaller carton or jar of beef bone broth to add a bit more flavor or top off the pot if the stock doesn’t cover the ingredients fully)

Some all purpose flour like maybe a quarter cup if that

Finally some red wine vinegar

That’s it for the bulk items, you can add or subtract anything you want with something more your taste like celery instead of carrots or russet potatoes instead of reds. The world is your stew so get wet and have fun with it.

The spices are the key to this dish since it brings out a lot of the subtle flavors of each component

2 tsp Thyme

2 tsp Rosemary

1 tsp Tarragon

1/2 tsp red chili flake

1 tsp parsley

2 bay leaves

2 tsp black pepper and salt

Garlic (if using fresh garlic 2 cloves to start and if you want add another clove if using pre minced Jarlic use about 2 heaping tsps)

And finally the crucial ingredient. 1 and 1/2 tbsps Garam Masala. I used a pre made mix and this what it looks like and what spices it has exactly

If you can’t find this then get as many of this spices as you can and mix them together using the ratio of 2 tsp coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, and cumin, 1 and 1/2 tsps of black pepper and celery seed, then 1/2 tsp anise, allspice, clove, and salt, you can leave out the salt and pepper and just add a little bit more later on.

———

Ok now that we have ingredients let’s slap this bitch together

On medium high heat with a tbsp of oil or butter brown the meat off in a large stock pot, you don’t want to cook it through just getting some color on all sides, if it starts to smell like burning turn the heat down a little and add more oil, if you add too much it could get watery and not brown the meat effectively. If that happens just drain as much of the liquid as you can into a separate container, just before you take it off the heat and it’s almost all browned then add a teaspoon and a half of garam masala and then keeping browning until it’s a good color then set aside

Next in the same pot add your chopped onions with a little butter or oil and cook til translucent and aromatic, then add another teaspoon and a half of garam masala along with the red chili flake and garlic to wake up those flavors in direct heat then turn the heat down to med low and add your flour, go slow with this little by little, we’re not making a roux or anything just trying to cook off the raw flour taste to help thicken the stew a little down the line, you don’t have to add all of the amount listed just enough until it start to thicken and coat the onions

Next add your beef back in and stir a little bit coating the beef in the onion and flour mixture and then add a couple splashes of red wine vinegar just enough to lift the flour off of the bottom of the pot, make sure to scrape all the onion and beef bits at the bottom of the pot off with a spoon or spatula before moving on from this step.

Next add your stock and other vegetables along with all the spices including the last 1 and 1/2 tsps of garam masala. The stock liquid should cover all the ingredients but if not, add in your reserved bone broth or rest of the beef stock if you used bone broth earlier.

Let it simmer on medium low heat for about 1 hour, though you can leave this on the stove for longer if you want the flavor a bit more concentrated but no more than 3 hours.

And there we go! Serve by itself or over mashed potatoes, and make sure to take out the bay leaves! You can’t eat them. Also if you want it a little thicker just add some cornstarch and water to a small measuring glass stir to combine then pour stirring it well into the stew though keep in mind once you add the cornstarch slurry you cannot keep it on the heat for more then 5 more minutes. Any longer and the cornstarch will turn more gummy and nobody wants that.

———

Anyways here’s the only picture I took of the stew it may or may not be that flattering depending on how hungry you are.

Pictured is also a pot of garlic and sage mashed potatoes, I don’t have the energy to write that recipe down but if I get enough requests for it I’ll add it here.

Most importantly just have fun with it, if you want more hot spice throw it in, if you want more salty umami flavors add mushrooms or dark soy sauce, do whatever you want this stew is yours to customize as you please.

Anywho I hope you all enjoy my slutty slutty stew >:3

[ask-the-usa-manor]

chicken parmesan recipe

(Your sarcastic ask isn't winning today. /lh) "Chicken parm—?" Vermont blinked, "Do we look like Google to y-"

"Set a wire rack inside a rimmed baking sheet!" New York started, shoving everything off the counter and slamming said materials down, "Line another rimmed baking sheet with foil! Cut two 12-inch sheets of plastic wrap!!!" Vermont stood, staring at New York blankly.

NY slowly turned back to him, "...Did you hear me?"

"Yes, but-"

Vermont was cut off by an apron smacking him in the face.

"Cut two chicken breasts in half lengthwise, making four roughly equal pieces," New Jersey continued, popping out of seemingly nowhere with a chef getup already on as he sliced the meat, "Place one sheet of plastic on a clean cutting board. Put a chicken piece in the center of the plastic and top with the other sheet of plastic." Jersey stopped to stare at Vermont, knife in hand. After a second of hesitance, Vermont decided he'd choose his battles today and followed the instructions under the very judgmental eyes of his brothers.

Once done, Rhode Island popped out of heaven knows where and started to beat the ever-loving heck out of the chicken with the flat side of a meat mallet. "You just gotta-" Rhode Island was putting his heart and soul into beating up the poultry, "You just gotta pretend it's your least favorite sibling." Vermont cringed every time the mallet met the chicken, "...Am I your least favorite sibling?"

Rhode Island didn't answer. He just kept beating the poultry piece by piece until all the pieces were 1/4-inch thick before carelessly tossing the mallet into the sink. He threw a good amount of pepper and salt on them before walking away.

"Put 3/4 a cup of all-purpose flour in a pie plate and dredge each piece in it one at a time!" New Hampshire went on, scaring Vermont. He didn't hear her get here. Or get her ingredients out. What the-?

New Hampshire turned the chicken to coat and packed the flour into the crevices. She shook of the excess before placing each piece back on the rack.

New York pointed to a kitchen cabinet, "Get a medium bowl."

Vermont grabbed a bowl and paused. Since when did he listen to any of these people???

New Jersey dumped a cup of breadcrumbs, a 1/4 cup of Parmesan, a 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and a 1/4 teaspoon of pepper into Vermont's bowl. New York joined in by cracking an egg and dumping a 1/2 cup of milk. Vermont whisked for his life.

New Hampshire dunked the chicken in the mix, allowing any excess to drip off. She then packed seasoned breadcrumbs onto the chicken. VERY gently.

The rest of the excess was shaken off, and the chicken was returned to the rack. It was then sent off to be refrigerated from 30 minutes to 12 hours; no more, no less.

Vermont was shaken. This cooking felt aggressive, "...Are we done?"

New Jersey raised his eyebrows, "Can you magically summon sauce into existence?"

"Well-"

"HEAT 1/3 CUP OF OLIVE OIL in a large pot over medium-high heat," New York interrupted, the stove roaring to life, "3 cloves of garlic. FINELY GRATED. 1 teaspoon dried oregano! 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes! FASTER, MONTY, FASTER! This can only be on for a minute!"

As Vermont scrambled around the kitchen, New Jersey wasn't helping. "Two 28-ounce cans of diced tomatoes," NJ listed, leaning against the counter, "3 sprigs basil, 1 teaspoon salt."

After the ingredients were added, the pot was brought to a boil then promptly reduced to a simmer. It cooked on the stove, uncovered, for about 30 minutes. Vermont tried to creep away the whole time, but he simply wasn't allowed. The tomatoes were smashed with a potato masher until smooth. A little extra salt was tossed in.

Meanwhile, New Hampshire poured a 1/2 cup of olive oil into a large skillet on medium-high heat. She cooked the chicken from the fridge for one minute on each side (not cooked through) before placing them on the foil-lined baking sheet, about 3 inches apart.

New York arranged an oven rack to be directly underneath the broiler before preheating it to high. New Jersey and Vermont topped each piece of chicken with a 2/3 cup of the sauce and spread it evenly to coat. New Hampshire sprinkled 1 tablespoon of Parmesan and a 1/2 cup of mozzarella on each one. It was then broiled until the cheese melted and browned in some spots, about 2 to 3 minutes.

12 ounces of spaghetti were cooked until al dente. It was drained and stirred into the remaining sauce, before getting placed into a serving dish and topped with the chicken.

Vermont, after being voluntold, finished the meal by sprinkling more Parmesan and torn basil on top.

Staring at their creation, he looked to the others. "...What now? "Then have Italy take all the credit for your own recipe," America shrugged, taking a dish, "Not that we're bitter. Or anything."

[kcrossvine-art]

haiiii dungeon delvers! This is a quick one, gratefully both the materials and the dish-type are very close to their real life inspiration :D

As we speak, my favorite catgirl bestfolk is getting introduced to the anime and you haven no idea how much self control its taken to not immediately jump forward to be in sync with her, but theres SO many good recipes before we get there!!!

We will be making a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet today!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes into a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet?” YOU MIGHT ASKIts made from the egg of a basilisk, which isnt a large chicken egg but instead a large snake egg. Oblong shape, soft leather texture, and no eggwhites just yolk.

A large daikon

½ lbs fatty bacon

Shallots

Garlic

Chicken eggs

Salt

Pepper

Arugula (for garnishing)

OPTIONAL; ketchup/hot sauce :)

You could try cooking this using actual snake eggs, but theyre hard to come by and reportedly quite bland compared to chicken eggs. I tried getting my hands on an ostrich egg for the pizzaz of it all. The zoo lady was kind in her dismissal.

AND, “what does a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKOmelettes are standard fair but here we cook them like a french omelette and wrap it up like a burrito at the end.

Wetter eggs than im used to ( <- american)

Daikon and bacon r very tasty together

They end up having the same texture almost

Intensely savory. Heavy on the tummy

Chopped green onions would bring more levity to the filling

Ketchup pairs well

(but i prefer medium hot sauce)

Dark coffee pairs well

The acidity of the above 3 is what makes them work with this nutrient Dense dish

. In the show, decapitated mandrakes are more bitter than mandrakes left 'whole'. If you want that difference, using sweet/sour sauce on some of the daikon while it cooks will make the non-sauced daikon seem bitter by comparison. . Maybe ferment daikon too? . Adding a small amount of water with the bacon transfers the heat evenly, a small amount as to cook off before the fat/grease renders. Could also try cooking in the oven.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Consisting of a fluffy Basilisk egg omelet filled with minced Basilisk bacon and mandrake.If the mandrake used was killed with its 'head' still attached, it will be less bitter and more mellow" This dish is important as it marks the beginning of Senshi and Marcilles bonding, and the lead-up gives us our first glance into the school Falin and Marcille met at. Objectively the recipe is basic but it was challenging to write out.

Omelette making is muscle-memory, so having to learn the french variation and slow down felt like trying to ride a bike side-saddled.

It took about an hour and a half from laying out the ingredients, to eating the finished thing. I had to take a break in the middle of cutting veggies as my wrists are flaring up, so you could probably go faster unimpeded.

What would you rate this recipe out of 10?(with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 large daikon, chopped

½ lbs fatty bacon, chopped

2 shallots

3 cloves of garlic

3 Eggs

Salt

Pepper

Some arugula (for garnishing)

OPTIONAL; ketchup/hot sauce :)

Method:

Chop your bacon into roughly ½ inch squares. Cut off the ends of your daikon and cube the rest. Thinly dice your shallots and crush your garlic cloves.

Bring a cast iron skillet to medium-high heat. Once at temp, carefully add your chopped bacon to the pan with a very small amount of water.

Add your chopped bacon and stir-fry until almost cooked.

Add your shallots and garlic. Cook for about a minute or until the shallots have softened.

Transfer the bacon, shallot, and garlic mix to a bowl. Set aside. Lower the cast iron skillet to medium heat.

Place your daikon cubes in the cast iron skillet, you should still have enough bacon grease. Add salt and cook until lightly browned on each side.

Add roughly 1 tablespoon of water. Lower heat and cover. Simmer for 2 minutes.

Once your daikon are softened, transfer to same bowl containing your bacon, shallots, and garlic.

Crack your eggs into a seperate bowl and whisk for 2 minutes until 'frothy' with no egg whites visible.

Bring the cast iron skillet back up to medium heat. There might not be enough bacon grease left, so feel free to add butter! If the butter browns you've gone too hot.

Pour your eggs into the skillet. Use a spatula to spread the eggs, scraping down the sides of the pan. Sprinkle salt and pepper in, to taste.

Once your eggs are mostly solid, pour the bacon, shallot, garlic, and daikon filling into the center. If it starts to separate- stop touching and let it rest. Gently fold the edges of the omelette overtop the filling.

Lay a few pieces of arugula on a plate, and flip your omelette onto it :) enjoy!

[remembertoeat]

Dinner Recipe: Chickpea Curry

TIME: ★★★✰

PRICE: ★★★✰

EASE: ★★✰✰

CLEANUP: ★★★✰

This was a bit of an experimental recipe on my part, as a means of figuring out wtf to do with all these chickpeas I cooked up.

This recipe is a bit more involved, and depends a lot on personal tastes so I gave it a medium score for ease.

Overall this recipe took about 30 minutes once the chickpeas were cooked. You could easily use canned.

Long recipe, so feel free to read below!

Ingredients: 1. 2 cups Cooked Chickpeas 2. 1/2 onion (I use my onions interchangeably like a heathen.) 3. 1 TB minced garlic 4. 1 TB minced ginger 5. Veg of preference (I used carrots, jalapeno, and a wilty tomato because we had some I needed to get through! I think frozen peas would be great in this. Potatoes would be good, but that texture is present in the chickpeas and I don't know how they'd cook with this recipe) 6. 1 can of coconut milk 7. 2 TB chopped Cilantro (could probably leave this out if you don't like it.) 8. 1 lime's worth of juice 9. 1/4th cup Maple syrup 10. A curry brick, like this one below! I know it's a "cheat," but they're SO easy and quick to use! HIGHLY recommend grabbing them if you have a store that carries them. Looks like you can get them from Amazon! It comes with 8 bricks, each brick making a whole pan of curry, so it'll last awhile! (Note: the curry bricks are NOT gluten-free. You could replace this with a heavy amount of curry seasonings, but I have yet to perfect my ratio, so it may take experimenting! Here is a list I found of alternate curry spice blends.)

-Heat a large pan with oil. Once it gets hot, add your onion. Stir for about 2 minutes, then add your garlic and ginger. Cook for another 30 seconds. -Add your veg and mix everything all together. Cook for another 2 minutes or so. -Add your chickpeas! Salt and pepper em! Squeeze in some lime juice! -Cook it all for about 3-5 mins, then dump your can of coconut milk in. Once the coconut milk heats up a bit, add your curry brick. Mix the brick in until it dissolves into the pan and mixes with the milk. -Let it simmer and thicken. That process should only take about another 5 minutes, but keep an eye on it and turn off the heat when it feels ready. It should look something like this.

-Toss in your cilantro and maple syrup! Mix it thoroughly!

Serve this over rice!

It's pretty tasty and filling. You can add more spices if you want. Tons of room for modifying it. I topped mine with shredded coconut.

This made a ton, especially when paired with rice. This will likely give me lunches for the whole week. Supposedly curry freezes well, so you could stash this away for leftovers at an indeterminate date! Try to finish frozen leftovers within about 3 months!

It also looks cute as hell in the take-out tuppaware I hoard.

[rosiesravishingrecipeblog]

Hello, Rosie!

What are some of your favorite ways to cook an ex? I'm not very skilled in the kitchen, but I'm eager to learn and I see no reason to let any... resources... go to waste.

Hello darling!!

A great place to start is with a nice meatloaf, I have a great recipe, very beginner friendly and absolutely delicious! Note that this makes 2 pounds per recipe, however there’s always freezing for later- and if you want make some jerky to snack on I also have quite the recipe!

INGREDIENTS

2lbs of Ex (ground preferably, avoid intestines and ‘soft’ meat, aim for thigh, rump, or arm! I have a butchering chart I’ll link)

1 cup of Crumbs (I prefer cornbread however any breadcrumbs work! all a matter of taste)

2 eggs (eggs make your mixture hold together, they’re called a binding agent!, beat both eggs together like you’re making a scramble)

1 small onion OR 1/2 a regular onion (diced, i can link a video on how to Dice an onion! Onion should be WHITE or YELLOW!!)

2 cloves garlic (Smash them darling! then chop a ridiculous amount! I recommend an insta chop they’re so nifty….)

Salt, Oregano, Pepper, to taste

For the SAUCE

3/4 Ketchup (or more! this goes on top while baking so if you want more have more! just adjust your other ingredients accordingly)

1/4 BBQ

1 TBSP Worcestershire sauce (optional! the bbq will give the tang you need!)

2 TBSP brown sugar (a touch of sweetness!)

A little bit of blood just for fun <3

STEPS

Preheat oven to 375, get a baking sheet, if you want, line with PARCHMENT paper

Start by mixing your first list of ingredients together in a big bowl, (Meat, Onion, garlic, Crumbs, seasoning) Mash, like dough. Careful not to over mix because over mixing will cause the eggs to become dense!

Put a little of the Ketchup Sauce in (about half) and do one final smush, and now you’re ready to roll onto your baking sheet!

You can make multiple small Meatloafs or one big meatloaf, shape to your desired density etc (if said ex is male i recommend making the famed dick cake, quite satisfying to Cut into)

Spread the remaining ketchup Mixture on top and Bake for about an hour!

And then you’ve got a delicious meal- turns out he WAS good for something…..

I hope that Ex doesn’t trouble you anymore Darling…

Ta!

Rosie

[kris-mage-fics]

Creamy Beet Pasta Sauce with Thyme

[image ID in ALT] This recipe just popped into my head a couple of years ago, and it turned out just as good as I imagined it would! You don't have to stick with the amounts listed, it's not a finicky recipe and is easy to adjust to your preferences. I've put a really detailed version under the cut to save your dash. But here's a link to it if you prefer (and a link to the simplified instructions, though I suggest you read the detailed ones at least once since I added a lot of tips). As always, both imperial and metric measurements are included. You do need a blender for this, but it doesn't have to be one of those super fancy, expensive ones. I know the photo isn't very good, but this is my first attempt at photographing food, and I was getting really hungry and just wanted to eat, lol! Though it shows just how vibrant the color of the pasta sauce is, which was the point.

Creamy Beet Pasta Sauce with Thyme The recipe yields about 3 cups/750 mL of pasta sauce.

2 cups/500 mL chopped cooked beets (about three medium beets) (directions below – you can cook them ahead of time or use precooked ones, in which case see the note below about reheating it)

1 cup/250 mL raw cashews, soaked and rinsed (directions below)

about 1 teaspoon/5 mL minced or crushed garlic – or 2 to 4 cloves of garlic depending on their size and how garlicy you want it (keep in mind that as the directions are written the garlic is raw)

about 1 tablespoon/15 mL fresh thyme (see note at the end)

2 teaspoons/10 mL apple cider vinegar (see note at the end)

1 to 1 ½ teaspoons/5 to 7.5 mL sea salt or Herbamare

½ to 1 ½ teaspoons/2.5 to 7.5 mL fresh ground black pepper

about 1 ¼ cups/210 mL water

pasta – I generally go with penne for this sauce but this is your meal so follow your heart!

A) Rinse the thyme stems in cool water and place them on a kitchen towel to dry. You can fold the towel over the stems and gently pat down to speed up the drying process, thyme is pretty sturdy so you won’t wilt it.

B) Prepare the cashews. There are two ways to soak them, it doesn’t matter which you choose. 1) Slow method: Place the cashews in a bowl or container with a lot of room, cover them with 2 cups/500 mL water. Let them soak for 10 to 12 hours. They’ve soaked long enough when you can easily break them with your fingers. Fast method: Place the cashews in a pot and cover with at least 2 cups/500 mL of water. Cook on a low boil for 20 minutes. (If you use this method, pick a pot big enough to cook your pasta in, then you only have one pot to wash!) 2) Drain and rinse the cashews a few times with fresh water.

C) Cook the beets. You can use whatever method you’d like, but I recommend roasting them because it’s easy and retains most of the nutrients. Plus, I haven’t found a faster way to peel them. Though this method seems to work best with fresh beets that still have the greens attached. 1) Preheat your oven to 400℉/200℃. 2) Cut the greens off the beets and rinse off any dirt. 3) Wrap each beet in aluminum foil and place on a baking tray or pan. 4) Bake for 45 to 90 minutes, until a fork can easily be stuck into them all the way to the center. 5) Let them cool long enough to handle, about 10 to 20 minutes, then cut off the ends. 6) Under running cold water push the beet skins off. They should come off really easily without much force or pressure. 7) Chop the beets into smallish cubes – about ¼ inch/0.5 cm – for easier blending.

D) As the beets are cooking (and the cashews if you choose the fast soaking method), destem the thyme until you have around 1 tablespoon/15 mL of thyme leaves.

E) Start cooking your pasta. Of course the timing of this depends on your pasta of choice and how long it takes. But if multitasking is too stressful, cook the pasta once you’re done with the sauce.

F) Throw everything (except maybe the thyme – see #2) in the blender and blend until creamy. 1) Use the smaller amounts of the garlic, thyme, salt, pepper, and water at first. That way you can adjust it to your taste as you go. 2) You might not want to blend the thyme in. If you want stronger thyme flavor, a fully creamy sauce, and a deeper, less vibrant magenta color than blend it in. But if you’d like a lighter thyme flavor, are fine with the texture of the leaves, and want a bright magenta sauce, add the thyme after you’re done blending it. (For reference, the photo shown has the thyme blended in.) 3) Blend until everything is nice and creamy and the seasonings and thickness are adjusted to your preference. You’ll have to stop the blender and scrape down the sides every now and then. 4) That’s it, your sauce is done! Now just plate it up with your pasta of choice! You can sprinkle some of the thyme on top to make it look extra pretty!

This keeps well in the fridge for several days, at least up to four. When you reheat it, make sure you don’t cook it. Just get it warmed up enough to keep it from making your pasta too cold. I find it warms up really well in the microwave, but I’m sure the stovetop works well too. I have no idea if this freezes well or not, because I always eat it up too fast to try, lol!

Note about Thyme: Normally I’m a dried herb person but this recipe just wouldn’t be the same with dried thyme. So do yourself a favor and buy the fresh this time (lol). If you don’t know what to do with the rest of it, just tie the stems up with a bit of string or thread and hang it somewhere out of direct sunlight and let it dry. It should be dry in a few days to a week. You can easily take it off the stem by running your fingers down it, against the direction the leaves grow. Now you can put it in a jar and you have no wasted thyme! Note about Apple Cider Vinegar: You might be tempted to skip this, but please don’t! When you are using plants to replicate the creaminess of dairy, you need to add a bit of acid since dairy is acidic. You can replace it with other acids but your results may vary. Lemon juice is a poor substitute here in my opinion, and you need to use more of it. You could use balsamic vinegar, but you probably need more of that too, since it’s not quite as tangy as apple cider vinegar. The point isn’t to taste the vinegar, but to add that bit of acidity it really needs to shine.

[petermorwood]

That was lunch, made quick-and-simple * but dressed up nicely for its photo-op.

* Very quick-and-simple; it was based on a packet of just-add-water oxtail soup, because there are some days when I Could Not Be Arsed, even a simple tomato soup that’s just a couple of tins of tomatoes, an onion, some garlic, some peeling, some chopping, some oil, some seasoning, some cooking, some blending...

Yeah. Enuff said.

However, that didn’t stop me from a few grab-and-chuck-in enhancements - and once I’d announced that, @dduane​ said: ”Write it up for your followers, and take pictures.”

So...

The enhancements were some orzo and a splash of red wine vinegar from the cupboard, sweet paprika, smoked paprika, cayenne (it’s cold today) and ground caraway from the spice drawer, and some frozen red and green sweet pepper from the freezer.

(Side-note - I slice and freeze my own peppers on cookie sheets, then bag ‘em; also onions and carrots, i.e. the sort of thing I’d take from the freezer, weigh frost and all then throw straight into a pot when making soup or stew. Casual approach? You bet... :-> I’ve never done a price comparison, but I bet it works out cheaper-by-weight than buying them that way.)

So I made the soup as per instructions - add water, stir until boiling, heat down and simmer 5 mins - adding everything else at the beginning and extending the simmer to 15 minutes because of the orzo and peppers.

Then it went into a bowl, got garnished with a dollop of plain yogurt and another grind of chilli, and behold:

Soup even with pasta in it works better with bread, and it just so happens we’ve been baking interesting loaves recently.

So, some First Draft and Second Draft herb bread went into a bowl and onto a plate - these, like the cutlery, are mostly meant as photo props - and behold:

For something which started as little more than flour, salt and flavourings, that soup turned out remarkably well; warming, filling and tasty.

As for the bread, the 2-D herb loaf is just as good as the 1-D, but more herby since DD doubled the amount of herbs while reducing the variety. It’s possible for too many different herbs to argue with each other and end up cancelling out the very effect you’re hoping for, something I suspect happened with the 1-D loaf.

2-D loaf used just basil, tarragon and an “Italian Seasoning” (bought as a packet, put in a jar, so no ingredients list, sorry!) which seems to rely on oregano.

Also, confession time, I wrote in the 1-D recipe that DD was using pumpkin-seed oil (since ETA’d to correct); she actually used olive oil since she couldn’t find the pumpkin-seed oil because someone (cough) had put it away without saying where.

The 2-D bread did have pumpkin-seed oil, which affected both the colour and - wow! it’s nice - the flavour. This now makes us both wonder about using walnut, hazelnut and similar unusual oils in an otherwise basic bread recipe, such as the one I bake every couple of days for the house.

Something ELSE to experiment with. :->