#the best. i can't shake off my need to ''remain truthful'' which just ends up with my translations sounding too literal

[mishkakagehishka]

man this is just stressing me out ldfjidsjsdas

[tonyspank]

TRUTH HURTS

Summary: Your girlfriend finds out your secret.

A/N: I was listening to Lizzo when I wrote this lol. And I didn't revise this at all, so if there are mistakes, sorry!

Warnings: Reader and Jenna being too cute at the end. But actually, I can't think of anything.

"I just took a DNA test turns out I'm 100% that bitch! Even when I'm crying crazy." You sing on top of a rooftop, your Spider Suit hugging your body. Karen (an artificial intelligence user interface created by and installed in your Spider Suit by Tony Stark) had turned on your swinging playlist that you had created last month. You pause your singing to take a bite of your sandwich you'd gotten from the deli a few blocks down, savoring its sweet and salty flavors.

Being New York's Spider-Man/Woman was absolutely exhausting. Yet, the thrill of it all was worth it. You smiled, content with the knowledge that you were making a difference in the city. You had to balance your heroic tasks with your everyday life, but it was worth it. You felt proud to be able to help people in need and make a difference in the world. You had found your true purpose. Sometimes you'd fear for the people you loved. You didn't want them to get involved in the crime you fought everyday. You kept doing your best to protect them while taking on the criminals. You knew that you were making a change and that's what kept you going.

Jenna, your girlfriend and also an upcoming actor didn't know exactly who you were. She thought you had a normal job, and thought you were just an ordinary person. She had no idea that you were Spider-Man/Woman, risking your own life to save others. You were afraid to tell her the truth, but at the same time you wanted her to know the truth. You decided maybe one day you could tell her hope she would understand.

You freeze your dancing and chewing, seeing a group of thugs walking into an alleyway. You knew you had to act fast, so you shoved the remaining half of your sandwich into your mouth, pulling down your mask. "Karen! Pause my playlist please." You asked the AI assistant installed in your mask. You started running, jumping off the roof and shooting a web out towards the alleyway, determined to protect your neighborhood.

You followed them, keeping a safe distance, and watched as they opened a door in the back of the alleyway. The door revealed a secret hideout with a large stash of weapons. You web yourself to a corner of the hideout, waiting for an opportune moment to act. Suddenly, the door opened and several armed men entered the hideout. You knew you had to act fast and without hesitation. You quickly webbed one of the thugs to the nearest wall. 

"It's Spider-Man/Woman!"

The other thugs were taken by surprise raising their weapons at you. "Now that's no way to treat company!" You say with a smirk under your mask. "I was on my lunch break before this!" You fired a web at the thugs and they were suspended in mid-air, helpless. You quickly zip around the room, disarming each thug and taking their weapons.

You turn to the last one, still suspended in the air, and say "Let that be a lesson to you. Don't mess with me on my lunch break." Before you fire another web, your phone vibrates. You drop to the ground, pulling it out of your tight pocket and read the contact name, which reads "Jenna" Face-Timing you.

Really? Now? When you're fighting criminals? The thug attempts to attack you with a crowbar, but you dodge it easily holding up a finger. "Dude, please? I gotta text my girlfriend."

The thug stops, stunned, and laughs. He throws the crowbar to the side, shaking his head. "Man, you got some serious priorities. Alright, go ahead and text your girl, I'll wait."

 The thug stepped back and crossed his arms. He watched with amusement as you texted away, trying to explain to Jenna you were too busy to Face-Time. After a few moments you put away your phone, turning back to the thug. "Alright, I'm ready." The thug grinned, showing off his broken teeth. He took a step forward and raised his fist. "Let's get this started then," he said.

You took a deep breath and squared your shoulders, preparing for the fight. The thug lunged forward, but you were ready, dodging his attack and counterattacking with a flurry of punches and kicks. In a few short seconds, the thug lay on the ground, defeated.

"Karen could you call this in and call Jenna back for me?" You nicely ask the AI, Karen responded, "Yes, of course. I am calling Jenna now." Karen connected Jenna to a call and the police were dispatched.

You web away from the scene, as Jenna answers and you hear her lovely voice. "Hey, where are you?" You answer, "I'm at home. I just got back from Feast. " Jenna is suspicious but you assure her that you were just busy helping your Aunt. 

She reluctantly believes you, "Oh, okay. Well, I have good news!" You swing low in the streets, dodging cars to entertain yourself. She continues, "I got the role!" You nearly get hit by a car, but move just in time. You yell with joy, "That's great! Congratulations!" Jenna laughs and tells you how excited she is about the new role. You talk to Jenna for a few more minutes, sharing your excitement about her news. "How about I take a shower and come to your place?"

 "Orrrr," She trails off, "I come to your place and we use your vinyl player and celebrate over dinner?" You hesitantly agree. Were you going to make it back home in time to shower, prepare dinner, change, and beat her there? You start swinging off your webs faster, hoping not to run into anything with the speed you're going. You see your apartment building in the distance and you're relieved. You quickly swing inside from your open window. You turn around to close your window, but your heart drops when you hear a gasp behind you.

You spin around to find your girlfriend standing in the doorway, her mouth agape. How did she get here so fast?! You stand there frozen, unsure what to say. She stares at you, her eyes wide and searching for answers. Your heart beats faster as you try to come up with an explanation. You take a deep breath and take off your mask throwing it somewhere in your room as you open your mouth about to speak.

You finally blurt out, "It's not what it looks like!" She looks at you skeptically and you can tell she doesn't believe you. You take a step back, trying to figure out how to convince her otherwise. You open your mouth to explain, but no words come out. You sigh, "Okay, maybe it is what it looks like."

She stares at you, and you take a step closer to her. You reach out to take her hands in yours. She flinches and pulls away, but you continue to hold out your hands, looking into her eyes. She takes them, and you squeeze her hands, letting her know that you understand. "I wanted to tell you."

"Why haven't you?" "I was scared," You say. "I thought you wouldn't believe me, or worse, that you would think I was crazy. And I don't want you to get hurt because of me." She nods, letting go of your hand to run a hand down your cheek. It was a claw scratch from months ago, a battle you had with The Black Cat.

"What happened here? I’m now starting to realize it wasn’t Ms. Browns cat." You take a deep breath and tell her about the fight, and the superhuman strength of the cat, and how you managed to get away. You tell her about the strange feelings you have been having lately, and how you think something strange is going on. She listens quietly, her face a mix of concern and understanding.

"Are we okay?" You ask, your voice barely above whisper. She smiles softly and takes your hand again. "We're okay. I believe you, and I'm not going anywhere," she says, her voice gentle but strong. "We'll figure this out together." She gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. You take a deep breath, the tight knot in your chest loosening a bit. You can do this, with her by your side.

You nod, your eyes meeting hers. She smiles again and brings your hands to her lips, kissing them softly. You feel a warmth rush through your body as you realize that, together, you can take on anything. You pull her into a hug, your hearts beating in time.

You whisper in her ear that you love her and she whispers it back, her breath tickling your neck. Holding each other, you guys are okay. You stay like that for a few minutes, before finally pulling away. You both laugh and she takes your hand in hers, the warmth of her skin instantly grounding you. You walk together towards the future, ready to take on the world.

"So, Black Cat. What's she like?" She grinned, her eyes twinkling with mirth. You playfully roll your eyes at the question, "A real wildcat and a tease." You smiled, "You kind of remind me of her." Jenna looks at you, a brow raised. "I remind you of one of your villains?" You chuckle, "In some ways. But that's why I like her. She keeps me on my toes." Jenna grins and shakes her head, "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult."

You laugh, glad your girlfriend took everything so well. You didn't know what you would do if you lost her over your secret identity. Jenna puts her arm around you and says, "I'm just glad you're here with me. I love you no matter what." You smile and kiss her forehead, relieved that you could share your secret with her and that she accepted it. 

After you change, shower, and prepare dinner Jenna and you spend the rest of the night talking about your powers and how you got them. You feel a connection to her that you didn't before, because you can now be open and honest with her. You are grateful for her understanding and love.

Jenna steps out of the apartment as her phone rings, and you lay down on the sofa, relieved as you watch TV. You feel like you can finally take a deep breath and enjoy the night's calm.

Outside of your apartment door, Jenna answers her phone. A known voice is on the other end. "Kingpin," Jenna murmurs into her phone, sighing. "Hey Felicia," Jenna grits her teeth together in anger. "That's not my name anymore. I left it behind along with that life." Jenna pauses for a moment, her heart racing as she remembers her old life. She takes a deep breath and continues. "I'm not going back." Kingpin laughs, a mocking sound that grates on Jenna's nerves. "You know I can find you wherever you wander."

"Listen," she says firmly, her voice full of determination. "I'm done with the old me. I'm creating a new life, and I'm not going to let anyone drag me back." She takes a deep breath and straightens her posture, her eyes blazing with determination. "I'm done with crime."

"But is it done with you?" I've seen you on the TV. Trying to convince everyone and yourself that you're a good person." Kingpin replies, on the other side of the phone. "I know what you're trying to do, I can tell. But you can't run away from who you are." Jenna remains silent, not knowing what to say.

He continues, "Or do I have to touch that spider of yours to remind you?" Jenna takes a deep breath, feeling like a million thoughts are running through her head. "You won't get the chance," she says angry. "If you or your goons show your face in New York, you're done with."

He laughs. "I admire your courage, Jenna," he says. "But don't forget who you're dealing with. I'm not some kind of joke." The line clicks, and the call is disconnected. Jenna takes another deep breath, trying to calm down. She knows she's made a powerful enemy, and she's not sure what to do next. She has to be careful, she knows. She can't let her guard down. But she also knows that she has to stay strong and fight for what she believes is right.

Suddenly, the door opens and Jenna comes back, a small smile on her face. "You okay?" You ask, concerned. Jenna nods and smiles, not wanting to worry you. She takes your hand and leads you away, ready to take on whatever comes next.

Jenna jumps at a noise emanating from your bedroom. With your super-hearing you can hear it clearly. "Oh, when you walk by every night. Talking sweet and looking fine, I get kinda hectic inside."

"Sorry," you mumble, embarrassed. "That's Karen playing my swinging playlist." Jenna's face relaxes in relief, and she smiles. You take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. You ask Karen to turn up the music, and you both start dancing to the music coming from your mask. You both laugh as you twirl around the room, forgetting the world outside. As the song ends, you pull Jenna close and kiss her. You both agree that there's no better way to spend your Saturday night.

[bangtanficsforyou]

Crushed- Ch (02)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Au: Friends to idk what

Genre: Angst, some fluff.

Ratings: 18+

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: mentioned in each chapter

Summary: Your coworker and best friend Jimin is everyone's favourite and for good reason. He's sweet, charming, caring, kind, humble, polite, ha– well shit. There you go making it obvious yet once again, that you're in love with him. But it's all good as long as he remains oblivious right? Wrong. After overthinking for a whole month, you decide to confess and things take an unexpected turn.

Main Masterlist | Previous

Dear Diary,

I don't know what to do. Tomorrow, I'll be meeting Jimin again and I just don't know how to behave around him, anymore. I thought three days of not seeing him would help me figure out what to do about the situation but unfortunately, that's not the case.

In the three days' time, all I have done is to stalk Jimin's Instagram but when staring at him became too painful, I moved to Rachel's insta. Another stupid move, might I say. Her recent insta updates let me know that she and Jimin spent their Sunday with each other. I assume it was their first date but even then, one could see how bright her smile was, and how happy she looked around him. If that wasn't enough, Jimin was laughing and giggling with his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Those pictures and clips made me wonder what it would feel like to be in her place, to be on the receiving end of Jimin's fond giggle, for him to smile like that because of me and at me because even though he has no idea, he makes me smile like that, like a fool, as if nothing else matters but him.

Perhaps, I was too much of a fool. That's exactly why I feel so pathetic now. I feel so stupid for ever entertaining the thought of him liking me back. It possibly wouldn't hurt so much had I not expected him to return my feelings. But it is what is. It's no one's fault. Jimin can like whoever he wishes to and the same goes for me. I chose him. He chose someone else. That's the difference.

Despite that, I need to keep my emotions at bay. I can't let him know of the pain I have been in, in recent days. I need to be the Y/N he knows, the one who is his best friend, which would admittedly require a whole lot of acting. Because every time I think of him, I just feel this longing and heartbreak. I can only imagine, what it would be like to be seeing him and to be in his presence. Nevertheless, thank you for being my safe place where I can rant without any worry because the other person who used to be my safe space, is the one I'm currently ranting about lol.

"You have not replied to my texts and have not answered my calls." Monday is here and so is Jimin. After your failed attempt at confessing, you had taken a few days off so that you don't have to face him. But alas, your day-offs were gone and here you are.

You do not bother looking up from your computer. To anyone, it would seem like you're being nonchalant but that's far from the truth. Only you can tell the way your heart shrinks and your stomach churns having Jimin sit right next to you but feeling as if he's far, far away.

"I'm sorry, I haven't had the time, was busy with work." You chew on your lower lip to give the faux impression that you're concentrating really hard on the numbers on your screen.

Jimin, either is just plain rude or doesn't buy your act, for he places a hand under your seat and swirls the chair such that you're now facing him.

Fucking wheels. You curse in your brain not even caring about how absurd it is to get mad at wheels and that to of those of a chair's.

When your eyes meet Jimin's, you immediately notice the seriousness in his orbs. Well, shit.

"Care to explain?" He asks again, his brows furrowed in a stern expression.

"I told you, I was–"

"I don't buy that bullshit." He cuts you off, vehemently shaking his head. "You've never done this before, you've always replied to my texts no matter how busy work has gotten. Do you even know how worried I was?"

It sure didn't seem so. The petty voice in your head mutters.

"Nothing, I was just tired, trust me." Trying to make him believe that you're being genuine, you also smile at him, hoping he somehow buys it.

Jimin does not buy it.

After you had left lunch abruptly, he had his suspicions about something being wrong. However, he had not paid much attention to it, for he entertained the thought that it might really have been some important duty call. You had an important meeting that day, which although you were done with, there can always be extra documents that one needs to go through or sometimes needs to mail them to some higher authorities. Jimin had shrugged off his concerns for he thought he was just overthinking or over observing.

His concerns however returned, when you did not answer his calls and texts. Because heck, in the span of three years that he has known you, you had never done that before. To say that he was worried would be an understatement.

On the second day that you had gone without any contact, he was ready to go to your place. He however didn't, when he found that you had checked his stories. That was some sort of reassurance that you are okay and probably haven't fainted in your apartment or any of the terrible scenarios that his mind had come up with.

Which had finally made him come to the conclusion that there was something up with you. Even if he had any doubts about it, they were now gone because your whole body language is stiff and closed off. Why, he has no idea.

The side of your face burns from how intensely Jimin keeps staring. Feeling your hands get clammy, you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind, in hopes of getting rid of the awkward silence. "How did your date with Rach go?"

You instantly regret the question. It must be because of how a sadistic part of you wanted to know the details. A sadistic part, which wants to know it from him, in his words.

Your question however, has the desired effect as it seems to deflect his attention. The frown on his features soften and his lips quirk up. "It was great, might as well have been the best date I have been on."

You shoot him another smile, another attempt at making him believe that you are being genuine. "You were not nervous?"

This time, Jimin does buy it. "I was surprisingly not, because it wasn't supposed to be a date." Noticing the questioning look on your face, he elaborates further. "I was just telling her about how you have not been replying to my texts and how worried I was. I had probably ranted so much that she ended up advising that I needed to be out and breathe in some fresh air. Which somehow ended up with us going out and having dinner together."

You hum, biting the inside of your cheek as you look at him and try your best to maintain your smile.

"You know the best part? There was no awkward silence." Jimin continues and you can sense that this is going to turn into a ramble.

You can only imagine, how long Jimin has been waiting, to tell you all this. A part of you thinks it would have been better had you been in touch with him via texts, because you know for sure, that he would have hit you with long texts describing every single detail and in that way, you at least wouldn't have to force yourself to smile even when you feel your heart silently break for the nth time in the span of five days.

"There's something very soothing about her. Her company just makes you kind of forget all about your worries. Unlike, how most first dates are, it was very relaxing and chill."

"So, it made you forget about me?" You chuckle but when you notice Jimin's smile fade, you realise that it might not have been the right thing to say. "I was joking, relax."

Jimin's frown remains in place and you feel scared of him easily reading you. Thankfully, a voice calling for Jimin's name is what makes him move his eyes from you.

"Can you update these numbers? I've checked them and they just need to be uploaded." Taehyung, says as he approaches where the two of you're sitting.

Jimin nods absentmindedly. "Yeah, sure." With that, he steals one last glance at you and leaves.

The moment he leaves, you feel like you can finally breathe. Fuck, acting is kind of difficult.

You look up to meet eyes with Tae only to find him winking at you and he mutters a small thank me later before he leaves as well.

The interaction has you contemplating if you were being that obvious with how uncomfortable and congested you were feeling. If that's the case then you think Jimin also might have noticed it. Which can explain his reaction to those stupid words that you had muttered.

So, it made you forget about me.

What were you thinking before you made that comment?

You'd be honest, you had not given much thought before you had said those words but now that you think of it, you wished for Jimin to have not enjoyed his date. It's selfish you know. Despite that, a part of you desperately wanted for the scenario to be different. You wished that even in her soothing presence, Jimin was worrying about you. That he did not just forget about you because he was with her.

You know he did not exactly mean that but the cynical part of you believes that the amount of fondness he feels for her is greater than the amount of worry he has for you.

It's pathetic to think that way, you know but maybe you just needed some sort of reassurance from Jimin. You know he does not owe it to you but his words did more damage than good.

"That was intense." A voice quips, causing you to blink back to reality.

"Huh?" You ask, the words not registering in your brain.

"I said, that was intense." Yoongi repeats from where he stands on the other side of your cubicle with his head resting on top of the partition.

"What was?" Genuinely confused, you frown.

He scoffs. "You and Jimin. I could feel the tension through the partition."

Your eyes go wide. "You were eavesdropping?"

He shrugs casually. "More like it was unavoidable."

You were being obvious.

"Damn, I made it obvious didn't I?" Hating the idea of it, you hope Jimin does not come to conclusions.

"Just as obvious as the day."

"You don't even try to sugarcoat it." Grumbling, you lean back into your chair.

"I don't sugarcoat it but I can sugacoat it." He retorts with a serious expression.

"You're hanging too much with Jin aren't you?" You squint your eyes and move the mouse cursor haphazardly all over the screen.

"I'd have you know my jokes are way better than Jin's, so, in case you're implying that his company has affected my humour, you're very wrong." He huffs, clearly offended by your words.

"Debatable." You reply in a beat.

"Yesterday, he went to the grocery store and asked the counter lady why eggs don't make jokes." He begins in order to prove his point.

"Because they'll crack?" You ask in a questioning tone.

"The lady did not bat an eyelash." He deadpans.

".....and Jin was too busy laughing to notice that?"

Yoongi sighs, as if concerned but not surprised by his beloved friend, Jin's behaviour. "The lady looked at me as if asking whether he's okay or not."

The whole scene plays inside your head and you laugh for the first time in what seems like ages. This has happened far too many times for you to find it funny but somehow it never gets old.

Yoongi's lips quirk up when he sees you laugh.

Anyone with eyes could see the love you had for Jimin. Thus, today, when he saw Jimin chatting with this one girl (he has no idea what her name is) while he was coming back from the tea room, he knew something was wrong. It wasn't the chatting, in particular, it was the shy glances, the fond smiles and the subtle touches. His very first thought was that of you and his immediate reaction was that of worry. He wondered if you knew about it or if it would be a heartbreaking surprise for you when you come to work.

The conversation he overhead between you and Jimin answered a few of his queries for sure but it also only caused him to worry more.

Nevertheless, seeing you laugh puts him slightly at ease.

From across the aisle, another pair of eyes watch you. Jimin notices you laugh and sees that your body language is no longer stiff, no longer guarded.

Did Yoongi say something funny? Is that what had gotten you to ease up? Because it can't be that you're all guarded and stiff around him in particular, right? He did not do anything to make you mad. At least nothing that he can think of.

But whatever it is, he needs to figure it out.

Permenent taglist:

@mwitsmejk @hopestastic

[lokisangstyteen]

Teeth {1/4}

[Warnings] Spy!Reader, Mafia!Tom Holland, Violence, Blood, Sexual Tension [Author note:] Hi guys! I've been gone too long and thought, what better way to pop in than to finish what I started? Enjoy! I write for anyone. Just feel free to send a request; with love, Loki. 692 words (Short little part one)

"Tell Carter to do it." "Y/N, Carter is a man. We need a woman to do this job, and you're our best agent available." Your boss sat behind his desk, leaning back in his seat. A slight sneer on your lips as he took a swing of that disgusting bourbon he claims is absolute gold. "So? I'm already on the job. Doing two at once could fuck up everything on both sides. I can't." You were trying your absolute hardest not to show your frustration. A two-year job put on hold for a quick intel mission? Anyone can do that. "Which is why you are no longer assigned to that job. Melissa is taking that over. So, yes, you can." He spoke without looking at you as he poured himself another shot. His 3rd one while in your presence, the next three, and he'll be slurring his words like a pig. If they could talk, that is. "What?. You gave my job to her? The job I've put two years of my time into?" By this point, you were well beyond annoyed. Even pissed off. Though you knew declining a mission wasn't on your list of things you can do.

"Yes. Now your mission is to find, seduce, and infiltrate the home of a suspected mobster. We need you to retrieve a file he no doubt has hidden. You're going to New York. Understood?" The expectant look in his eyes for you to simply obey made your eye twitch. Taking a quiet deep breath, you nod and leave the room without another word.

2 days later

Here you were, in a skin-tight dress, waiting for the man everyone knew as Tom Holland to show his face. You had gotten the intel from the agency, and they had even been oh so kind as to supply your dress for the night. It was gorgeous, you must admit; it stopped in the middle of your leg; a slit on the right side went all the way up to your hip and stopped. It was just the right amount of sexy and classy put together, the blackness of the color adding to the mysterious vibe they wanted you to deliver. Your goal is to catch his attention; this dress will do that.

It was definitely a bright night; while you stood outside looking at all the lights, everyone else was brushing past you, rushing into the club before it became too crowded, and they were forced to either finish drinking at home or travel around the city for another bar. Checking your purse, you fished out the fake ID they had given you to remain undercover and safe. Walking up to the bouncer, you flash your ID, and he surprisingly asks zero questions and steps aside so that you can enter, which provoked a sea of complaining from those waiting. Ignoring all the irritating voices, you walk in like you know what you're doing; truth be told, you honestly don't. The loud base of the music and stench of bodies writhing against each other has never been your kind of scene.

Pushing past the hands grabbing at you both on purpose and by accident, you make your way to the bar in the hope that you may end up spotting your target from the whole angle of the bottom floor it gives. Turning on the stool, you order a small glass of Bacardi. Considering you're in the rich part of town, it's a simple yet intelligent choice. Scanning the room, a hum escapes your lips, watching everyone dry humping each other because they're too intoxicated to find a goddamn bathroom or storage closet this place no doubt keeps unlocked for that sole purpose. Your face scrunches in annoyance at the fact you have to be here. That's when you feel the change in atmosphere, a suffocating stench of power and danger. You blink, trying to reign in the shaking of your hand. Frowning, you look around, trying to see if you can pinpoint the direction of the feeling. That's when you see him. Tom Holland, the man that rules New York. But wait...

Who's he with?

[invertedfate]

Considering how there used to be so many stories about Frisk going to ridiculous lengths to 'save' or 'revive' Asriel, I'm amused by IF!Frisk going 'why???' about making him their sibling/best friend in other worlds. I continue to remain delighted and refreshed by IF!Frisk's personality.

Aw, thanks! Like, I hope people don't think I have a personal vendetta against Asriel for approaching it this way, but I just don't think IF Frisk is obligated to be friends with someone who built them up only to backstab them and then tear them down both physically and verbally, right down to preying on their guilt and trauma with Lilac. Even if Frisk does end up understanding Asriel's story later, understanding motive and how someone has hurt is definitely not the same as being okay with them in the present. IF Frisk definitely isn't the kinda Frisk who'd jump through hoops to save Asriel in the traditional fanwork sense of "gotta make him stay a monster." But I also just sorta feel like... his problems are not in the body, anyway. Asriel/Flowey's issues are on an emotional and psychological level, and a part of me thinks that a reason he struggled so much is that the Dreemurr parents are not good at handling neurodivergent or traumatized children.

Toriel and Asgore love their kids in both UT and DR, and yet Deltarune shows that Toriel... doesn't do anything to confront Kris' problems. Their weird habits in the bathroom just "happen sometimes." Asgore can't even recall whether or not Kris likes big hugs, and neither of them caught onto Chara's hate for humanity and considered that they might do something as huge as the buttercup plan.

And I don't think this makes them bad parents so much as... they're too used to the idea that love is enough to make a child happy. That if they are loving and provide for children, then that is enough. So for Asriel to come back as a flower, they probably thought they could make him feel better with lots and lots of love and attention, when the problems were much deeper than that.

I think it also shows with how Toriel treated Frisk in UT- being so coddling, hiding the truth from them, trying to keep them happy by giving them a room and pies and promising to nurture them and putting her ideas of what would make a child before their actual wants and needs (which is a big part of why Frisk didn't like her in the old timeline).

I do wanna reiterate that I'm not trying to punch down on fanworks that do go for more idealized friendships between Frisk and Asriel, have them as siblings, or go for the happiest "save goatbro" approach, even if that's really not my cup of tea. I do get it. It's a lot of comfort and wish fulfillment- wanting this character who suffered so much to live a happy, normal life and being so touched by his fight and his character and little things like the hug and how he describes Frisk as the kinda friend he wished he had.

And I get that, but I also feel like it's important to look at the circumstances within a given fanwork. And in IF, the damage Flowey has done in just Part 61 hit Frisk so, SO hard. It's not something they'll be able to shake off that easily, and we still have a whole final arc to go through. It's a whole different beast than a relatively short final battle.

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[apixrl]

YOUR EREN.

eren jeager x fem!reader

WARNING(S): angst. slight manipulation. s4 spoilers. brief mentions of (but not actually) throwing up at the end.

word count: 5.9k

song: a soulmate who wasn't meant to be // jess benko

note(s): oh, that sound? it's just the sound of my tears whilst writing this oneshot. no biggie

The prison cells underneath headquarters were as dark and dreary as ever as you stood opposite them. Whilst the windows were generously large, the night sky was not so giving. Clouds were gloomy and blocked out the moon and stars, replacing it with a heavy downpour of rain. If you listened closely, you could pick up on the faint 'pitter patter' as droplets met the pebbled ground outside, the sound comforting compared to the echoing silence within the walls. Mattresses were placed in the corners of each cell, old and tattered after years of use by many different faces. You could only imagine their discomfort as you'd never been required to sleep on them, your record in the Scout Regiment practically a clean slate after your years of service. You were someone who took your position as a soldier seriously; respected your superiors and did as told when told.

As for Eren Jeager? It seemed in recent events he was past the point of caring.

Such a fact was blatant as you stared at him through the prison bars, your back pressed against the wall, body stiff and fearful of what would happen if you tried to step closer. Eren's gaze was terrifying to witness even from the odd angle you stared at him. His eyes locked on the ceiling as he lay flat on his back on the bed of his cell. His hair had been pulled back into a messy bun, some strands not long enough to reach so far back were fated to live a life of their own. They glued to his temples and forehead and even entwined with the strands pulled back. You couldn't decide if the look was flattering or not.

"I...," You blurted out without thought of what you planned to actually say, your pathetic attempt at making conversation followed up with a nervous whimper. Eren barely inched a muscle when you broke the quiet, from his eyes to his hands that lay lifeless at his side. He remained laid down as if you weren't even there. That made your heart weep in the worst of ways and your mind qualm - to think the last time you were together he was holding you in his arms as you gazed under the stars. And now he could barely spare you a second glance.

"It's been a while since you were last cooped up in one of these cells," You eventually tried again, calming yourself down as best you could by trying to be light-hearted. "Remember when we would play cards through the bars when I could visit? Those were fun times," You smiled sadly at the memories, eyes drifting away from Eren and towards nothing in particular. The smile then faded, the yearn to experience easier days once more hitting you as hard as stone. "If only we could experience them again,"

Your tone lowered, left unhinged since you knew mourning for what was no more was a waste of time. But you couldn't help yourself. All you wanted was to live in the past, where the titans were slane and the Scouts had reached the sea. All you wanted was to live out your days with your friends, talk and laugh with no need to worry about the rest of the world. All you wanted was to fall into Eren's embrace, to love him with all your might as he did you. There was a short period where that was your life, one filled with simplicity and peace after years of blood and death and gore that haunted your every nightmare. It had been pleasant, and you missed it. More than you were willing to admit.

If only Eren hadn't pushed things too far.

Eren's eyes shifted after a prolonged silence, travelling from the ceiling to you across the way. He was quick to take note of your vacancy, your conflict as you stared at him. How you created your own form of a jail cell by restricting yourself to the opposite side of the room. Maintaining a safe distance like you sensed you would get hurt stepping too far. Eren sighed loudly at that fact. Which caught your attention, E/C eyes flicking back to him at the sound. Eren pushed himself upright, eyes leaving you to stare at the floor before he hoisted himself off of the bed. Then, he turned to face you, searching for you through the wisps of his unkempt fringe.

You held your breath when he did, unable to fathom just how uncomfortable his gaze made you feel. Typically, Eren looking your way would send butterflies to your stomach. Your heart would perform somersaults and beat soundly with joy. Your cheeks would heat up, to which he would smile and tease and call it cute - merely deepening your flustered state like it was some fun game.

But this time, upon him meeting your gaze, nausea swiftly followed after. Rising concern over unconditional love based on his expression alone. It was empty. Unreadable. Nothing you had ever seen him display before. You had witnessed most if not all his worst moments up front but none of them - none of them, came close to just how desolately devoid he looked in that moment.

His lips didn't twitch, firmly held together as they added to his glaring aura. His brows arched sterner than Captain Levi's when you failed to clean a room up to standards, you didn't think it was possible for them to be so closely knit. But the worst part that made you truly sick to the stomach at the unfamiliarity of it all, were his eyes. Their usual bright and gleaming jade green blend that had entranced you from the instant you met Eren were now bleaker and more stationary than ever. They no longer held a zest and determination that motivated you to fight another day, no notable twinkle against the dimly lit room. Only a barren vacancy the most broken are succumbed to display.

You felt the need to comment on it, communicate to Eren just how worried you were. That you wanted to help him because you cared about him more than anyone else in the entire world. You were willing to lay your life down for him, and had even nearly become an anonymous number in the ranks because of that sheer will alone. However, before you had the chance to open your mouth, Eren beat you to it.

"Did Hange send you down here to try and sway me?" Eren asked half-rhetorically, taking a couple of steps forwards until the bars of his cell stopped him. "You of all people should know you can't stop me, so why even bother?"

You were taken back by his bluntness, even more so by his disregard for your previous words. Like you had never said them in the first place and he was the one initiating conversation. Perhaps it was so Eren felt he had the control, asserting dominance in a relationship where he already held more than half of it. His aim was unclear, but you persisted nonetheless.

"No, they didn't," You said. "I came here on my own accord, Eren," You shrugged your shoulders aimlessly. "I wanted to see you. I-I've missed you," Eren's eyes narrowed in suspicion, studying your frame for any sign indicating you were lying. He came out with no clear answer as from the instant you had set foot in the room you'd been shaking like a lamb bleating after its mother. Afraid. His arms crossed over his broad chest still in doubt, the action reminding you just how much he'd changed over the last few years. He was taller, looming over you even whilst feet apart. He was no doubt stronger, evident with or without the fact he held the power of three titans within him. Eren was no longer the vigorous and unruly boy he once was, who devoted his strength to rid the world of all the titans. He was now an indestructible force that vouched for freedom, his will to fight unshaken by no one.

"If you missed me so much," He started, looking down at you with what only felt like shame. "What took you so long to visit?" Raising a brow, you realised he held a point with his inquiry. If you proposed you missed him why hadn't you visited? The truth was you were scared of who you would find on the other side when you did. Levi and Hange had given you the option since the first day Eren was placed in his cell. But no matter the undying need to have Eren in your line of sights again, you failed to find the courage to make that final step.

"I wanted to, I-I really did," You said in a panic. "I was just scared! I didn't know what to say or how to speak to you after... after...,"

"After what?" Eren reprimanded, glowering at you as his hands wrapped around the iron bars. Your eyes widened and you whimpered, shaking your head frantically as a means to apologise.

"N-No Eren. I didn't mean it like that I just -," You swallowed thickly, your breathing quickening as Eren's pressing stare intimidated you more and more by the second. You hated how much you were falling apart. Where had your Eren gone?! Your Eren who always fretted over you during and after battles. Your Eren who grew antsy at Jean or Connie if they got a little too comfortable in your company. Your Eren who snuck into your room past curfew to share stories of his life late into the night. Your Eren who crammed his lips on yours when he couldn't hide his feelings any longer, confirming your relationship would turn from friendship to deepened love. You missed your Eren. You wanted your Eren back. Was that so much to ask?!

"You just what?" He spoke harshly, impatience riddled within every letter and syllable. You were quick to notice his grip on the bars tighten to the point you thought he'd snap them clean in two.

"I...," You trailed off, finishing your cut sentence with a defeated sigh. Your hands lowered to your sides as your head hung forwards. Perhaps being upfront with him was the only way you could go. "You killed people, Eren. Innocent people that hadn't done anything wrong! You ate somebody. Women, men and children crushed under debris like they were nothing. Y-You... you made Armin destroy that port and your decision making got Sasha killed!" You brought a hand to your forehead, not realising how distressed you sounded as you recalled that night. Tears started forming in your eyes, lip trembling. "Shit! I nearly... if Jean hadn't shot that Marley soldier first then I would've...,"

You had experienced a rocky start during the raid on Marley. One of your biggest flaws as a soldier was your will to take another life. Life as in... a human life. You despised the concept and did everything in your power to avoid it all costs, even if your fellow soldiers disagreed (especially Levi's, who persisted humans could be just as bad as titans when it came to killing). That exact flaw came forth when you first encountered a Marleyan soldier, and your hesitation almost ended with a bullet between your eyes. Had Jean not been behind you just in time... your grave would have been undoubtedly determined. There was a time where Eren was the same as you, never wanting to act and inflict harm on other humans. But times had changed since then. Oh, how you hated how much it had changed since then. None of it was fair.

A silence ensued, your stifled sobs the only thing willing to break it. Eren watched you motionlessly, the glare still apparent on his face as your emotions got the better of you. You hadn't realised just how shaken up you were from what happened. Sure, you had faced death many times, but always at the hand of titans. Where you had to evade giant swooshing limbs and teeth that could churn your flesh as cows do cud. Never had you looked another human in the eye and watched them contemplate killing you. To aim a gun directly your way and prep the shot as you realised what their intentions were. Then a feeble attempt to escape approaching death, all too distracted with your life flashing before your eyes for you to see the way out. That was one of the scariest moments of your life. You never wanted to endure it again. Never.

"Come here,"

You stiffened up, looking at Eren amidst dishevelled strands of H/C hair falling over your face. His glare had left and his face had returned to its neutral state, his eyes boring into you with his demand lingering in the air. You wiped your nose on your sleeve as well as your eyes, confused by the abrupt change in atmosphere. A truly weird circumstance and turn of events you weren't expecting indeed. At first, you weren't sure doing as Eren said was a smart idea, having heard Hange's experience with him during a debrief. You didn't believe Eren would treat you with the same sort of disrespect, but you also didn't want to take that risk just in case.

"B-But...,"

"Just do it," He roughly snapped, suspense in his tone kicking you up the hind to move. With a yelp, you pushed yourself off of the wall - back sighing out in bliss after starting to ache because of the uneven rocky surface. You gingerly stepped towards Eren, biting down on your lip to stop it trembling in fright. You came to a stop once close enough to the iron bars, hands going to wrap themselves around them, around the same ones as Eren. Whether you intended for that or it was just subconscious instinct you didn't know. Finally, your eyes dropped to the floor, lost on where to focus. Eren hummed a complacent sigh at your actions, head tilting to the side as he looked you up and down. You couldn't find an answer to what was running through his mind, blank gaze concealing all form of emotion and clarity. Then, just as you thought the silence couldn't grow any more powerful, Eren lifted his hand and reached out for you.

You gasped at the sudden contact, the feeling of Eren's hand cupping your face sending all sorts of sensations through you. His palm was warm despite the cool air of the prison cell. It was as though his hand was constructed to cradle your cheek, moulded into the perfect structure to which you filled in the empty spaces. His hand felt soft even after years of wear and tear of fighting and training, fingers long but not at all discomforting. You had forgotten just how pleasant the feel of Eren's thumb across your cheekbone was until he initiated the motion, almost a way to lure you in. And with your deprivation of his touch - of him. That was enough to have you wrapped around his finger.

"I forgot how nice it was to hold you like this," Eren declared monotonously, though his expression betrayed his lack of care. Something about it had calmed, but he didn't allow it to stay for long, gone so fast that if you blinked you would have missed it. You inhaled deeply, head tilting to the side as you nuzzled into his hand. Seeming satisfied with that, Eren proceeded. "That and just how easily you melt under my touch,"

"Eren," You uttered no louder than a whisper, eyes closing tight as you welcomed his touch. You despised how much he was correct, that you became putty without him even needing to try. That was the impact of love, after all, it makes people act in crazy ways and do some incredibly crazy things. But you couldn't ignore the odd funny feeling still pitting your gut, begging you to stop falling to Eren's will before it was too late. You couldn't get carried away, he had committed obscene criminal acts without jurisdiction. That was more than enough to get him locked up for life, regardless of the war you were fighting. You should be disgusted by his actions, his corrupted thinking and the way he went behind the Military's backs to further his own idea of freedom. You were disgusted.

But you also loved him. Way, way more than you were disgusted.

A frown merged onto your face, blending awkwardly with the once peaceful content that Eren noticed as fast as it appeared. He managed to figure out the thoughts running through your mind also, the young adult lamenting a sigh and he opened his mouth to speak. Not before his hand drifted down to your chin, tilting your head up to make you look at him. His thumb planted on your bottom lip as he grazed over it.

"I'm trying to build a future for Eldia, Y/N," Eren spoke firmly, your heart having a brief elation to the way he said your name. It had been far too long since you had heard him say it. "A future for us, where we can be free and live our lives the way we want to,"

"I know," You began, eyes opening to meet Eren's. "But there are other ways, Eren. More humane ways. We don't have to kill anymore if we just-,"

"There isn't another way," Eren interrupted, his ministrations of stroking your chin coming to an abrupt halt. "We've tried other ways and they haven't worked," Eren evaded your disheartened stare. "I'm sick of it not working,"

"We all are, Eren. Stop making out that you're the only victim here," You paid no mind to Eren's reaction. "We're all victims of this shitshow that's our reality, and we're all just as much the culprits of it as well! All w-we do is fight fire with fire and add more ashes to the pile with each person we slaughter," You felt your grip tighten on the bars, gritting your teeth harshly together. "I'm sick of all the violence and suffering! I just want to go back to the days when we could be at peace. Where we could laugh and joke because the main problem - the titans, were dealt with! I became a soldier to fight titans, not to embark on an endless war where both sides are human and neither is willing to cooperate with the other,"

"Those days are gone," Eren spoke sternly, though it softened up when he noticed you look away. "But they can return," He pressed his forehead against the iron bars, staring at you through deadened eyes. "We can live a life of freedom together once I finish what I started, all I need you to do is stay by my side and to have faith,"

Your eyes widened, gawking at Eren with complete and utter disbelief at his words. His persistence came off like the cruellest of sicknesses, corrupting Eren's mind to the point of insanity. His moral compass was in shambles as was his sense of humanity. The way his eyes were numbed right down to their pupils, blinded by his visions of a future for Eldia that came with the cost of the rest of the world's suffering. It pained you to witness such a change, to witness Eren's descent into madness as war took over his every thought and breath. Suddenly that foreign feeling in your stomach became clear as day, and you abhorred it with a deadly passion.

"I don't want to be free in a world built on other people's suffering," Your hands fell down to your sides, heartbeat racing as you avoided Eren's gaze. He quirked a brow, eyes piercing into you once he realised what you meant, and his chosen tone suggested he didn't like that one bit.

"What are you trying to say?"

You faltered, both as a mental brace and a state of refusal to your next actions. A second or so passed before you took a step back, creating a distance that did more damage than healing. With a shaky breath, you answered his question.

"I love you Eren, with everything I am. B-but I can't stand by your side if this is the path you're going to take," The tears were already brewing, doing everything you could to blink them away. "I won't sit by and watch the rest of the world crumble because of your selfish desires,"

You hated the words you were saying, how you said them and who you were saying them to. That it had all come to this, where Eren became the threat to humanity rather than its saviour. He only had so much time left and had you known that his way of spending it was to spiral the world into chaos - perhaps you wouldn't have grown so attached.

"I can't - I...," Since he hadn't said anything, you felt the urgency to speak. "Eren you have no idea how much I want to but this isn't how I saw our future -,"

"What future?" Eren persisted, not giving you a chance to reply. "Eldia has no future within the walls, these cages! It's time we give the world a taste of its own medicine, so what if a couple of lives are taken out on the way? It's not like they give a damn about ours," Eren scoffed when you shook your head, tears pricking at your eyes and the stinging sensation that came with it was painful to deal with.

"Please, Eren. Think about what you're saying," You pleaded and begged. But you knew it was no use, Eren too fixated on his 'destiny' to see logical reason. Merely the look in his eyes was proof enough to tell you that. "What happened to you? When did you become so heartless? Where's the Eren I knew all those years ago gone? Don't you miss it back then? When we weren't cheating death and we could simply be us? Be two dumb teens in love and the only thing that mattered was that love we shared? Do you even think about that anymore? About me? What about -,"

"Stop it," Eren stopped you, voice acting as a silencer to your blubbering drabble. Flinching at the interruption your mouth clamped shut, and your eyes darted for Eren in surprise. Despite locked behind bars, you were still terrified, and it felt more like you were the prisoner of the pair. With a low growl, Eren raised a clenched fist and thrashed it harshly against the bars. It made a low but loud 'thunk!' sound that hit your ears like impending doom, deafening all around you excluding that of Eren and the words he uttered next. "I'm sick of listening to you whine about shit that's not even important,"

"W-what?" You stammered in question, voice unsteady. "What do you mean it's not important?"

"Do you really think that amidst all of this I have time to be playing boyfriend?" Eren half-mocked. "I've got bigger priorities than you right now," He didn't look you in the eye, nostrils flared as his gaze lingered on the floor. Your legs nearly gave way at what you were hearing, each word a fatal stab to the stomach. Each stab even more malicious than the last. So that was it? You didn't matter anymore? Were you just some pawn in Eren's plan until he didn't feel he needed you anymore? Had his love ever been real or was it all a hoax to manipulate your every waking thought?

A minute passed of still silence, one of the many that evening. Your eyes never left Eren, searching for something to indicate he was joking. As well as contemplating pinching yourself in hopes you woke up from this horrible nightmare. Maybe you'd wake up in your Eren's arms, safe and secure as you lay beside him - his gentle breaths from deep sleep tickling the back of your neck and helping you forget the entire reason you woke up. But sadly, no such thing happened. You never woke up from anything but were instead left to face an Eren you barely knew anymore. Endure the pain as he pounded words into your head that gashed crueller than the worst of war wounds.

Realising this, you felt an urge to laugh, unsure what else there was you really could do. Crying was ineffective, and there was no way you could let Eren get the better of you. That's probably what he wanted anyway, for you to turn around and beg on your hands and knees. So as your hand met your face, you released the smallest of chuckles, lacking in humour but overwhelmed with an unforeseen emptiness. It definitely caught Eren by surprise, but he was fast to not hide it as he pressured that vacant stare onto you yet again.

"You insist your plan is the only way to get us our future, but I'm not even sure what future you mean anymore," You hesitated, trying to gain control of your lip which began to quiver erratically. "Clearly it's not the one we imagined together when we were younger,"

"If only you weren't so blinded by your emotions," Eren avoided your words, something you noticed and felt more agonised by than relieved. "Stop thinking with your feelings and see the logic, already. It's so annoying,"

Almost choking on the sob you tried to hold down, you bit down harshly on your lip - any harder and you probably would have drawn blood. You did everything you could to ignore Eren's words, but you were so hurt that you were losing the means to do so.

But you couldn't let his words consume you and manifest them into truth. You had to be strong, use whatever power you had left to regain your composure and come out the bigger person. Eren had always been a stubborn brat, Levi's nickname reigning true now more than ever.

"Use your head and think, Y/N," Eren spoke slowly, leaning his weight back onto one foot. He stretched his arm out towards you, held out for you to take. "Maybe if you stop caring for those that'll just kill you off for sport you'll actually comprehend why you're following the wrong cause,"

His words were suffocating and barbaric, not at all inspiring or persuading in the slightest. It didn't make you feel hopeful, it made you feel trapped. All you wanted was for it to stop. It wasn't love no matter how much you adored him. It wasn't healthy no matter the good memories you had shared. You had to stop the past messing with your head. You had to stop Eren messing with your head. You wanted to get out and escape. You needed to and as soon as possible. So, taking a moment to regain your composure, your hands raised to adjust the collar of your jacket and you looked over at Eren. An apologetic expression on your face for deciding to cut the visit short.

"I think I should... should go check on Armin and the others," You started, not sure what Eren would make of that. He appeared to show confusion, blinking once your words processed and frowning based on how sudden they were.

"Why would you need to do that?"

"They've been busy, and they're probably looking for me," You made up on the spot. "I didn't tell them I was coming to see you," Eren was silent, eyeing you up and down before he scoffed.

"You know I can tell you're lying, right?"

"W-Why would I lie?"

"For the same reason all people lie," Eren said. "To avoid what you're too scared to face," The way Eren spoke made everything feel much, much worse. A heavy amount of disrespect originated from this new flesh of conceit that Eren displayed on full. He had always been one to boast, but never in the form he showed in the present.

Listening to his slander any longer was something you simply couldn't handle. Not today, anyway. Fatigue was starting to claim control over your thought process, emotionally drained from talking to Eren. He had selfishly left you in a constant state of confusion and agony, making you ask yourself more questions than answering them. It utterly and totally sucked, being honest, and you had no clue where your relationship stood. Was it over? Were you still even together? Had he even seen you both as a couple this entire time or was it all just a big lie?

"So what were you trying to avoid when you spent all those months lying to us?" You were tempted to leave without another word said, but you knew you'd regret not asking your question. Which had popped into your head at the last moment as you pondered on Eren's words. Using them against you seemed to strike a nerve, as when you expected Eren to talk he did no such thing. Instead, he glared at you for being caught out, prompting your next words to follow. "I'll... I'll see you later, Eren,"

And with that, you started walking away.

You did everything in your power to not look back, focusing your gaze on the exit that was a little way ahead. Eren's stare etched itself into your back on the way out, leaving an even deeper wound than before which would probably scar for sure. Your footsteps dragged across the floor like you hauled twice your body weight behind you. Walking upstairs had never been such a demanding challenge before in your life. To think that you possessed the energy to traverse the walls but absolutely none to conquer thirteen mediocre steps.

You made it around ten steps up, just about to reach out for the door handle - when Eren's voice finally filled the room again. It brought your rushed exit to a halt with ease, much to your dismay, and what he had to say did nothing to help your situation.

"Who's to say I ever lied?"

Your heart both soared and sank at the same time, the conflict in your head skyrocketing as your thoughts drove you mad. What did Eren mean by that? Lie about what exactly? It was the way his words were always so devoid of clarity that hurt the most. The brunette was exceedingly blunt yet always left you inquiring more, prying further until it was too late. A mind game that pulled you in and kept you playing. You admittedly almost swayed.

But so close to the door, your hand wavering in the air just begging to open it - it was enough to prevent such a thing a happening. You knew if you headed back it would be the end, you would somehow get more hurt than you already had. It was a risky move you didn't want to place your bets on, you had come too far to be foolish.

So taking a deep breath you reached out for the handle and gripped it tight. You turned the knob and braced yourself to leave, blocking Eren from your mind as you lifted your foot to the eleventh step. Then the twelfth. Then the thirteenth, and finally onto the floor above the jail cells.

Closing that door behind you felt like the freshest of cleanses, your body sighing out in relief when it clicked shut.

Sadly though, you didn't have time to celebrate. The whole encounter surely caught up with you, as did the tears you had been saving for when you were finally alone. Just like they guaranteed, the hot, salty liquid singed the corners of your eyes and the tears returned. Before you could do anything, a cry broke out and you staggered until your back hit the door. The hinges jolted loudly, most likely attracting the attention of someone nearby. Whether it be a guard around the corner or one of your friends in search of your location. Maybe even Hange or Levi coming to check up on you. Whichever it was, they were in for a shock.

Your heart raced with anxiety, mind and body overwhelmed by inner turmoil that made you sick to your gut. The nausea was so bad you had to hold your stomach with your spare arm, fighting the urge to violently vomit all whilst controlling your reckless sobs that didn't cease their slander. Your vision went blurry from how much you broke down, unable to blink the tears away no matter your efforts.

Fearing the unknown had always been a part of who you were. But had somewhat simmered down as you grew older and developed mentally through being a soldier. However, all that progress reversed in an instant as your mind flashed back to the thought of Eren. How someone who used to possess so much passion now resorted to an empty vessel. The way he admitted to your insignificance with such little struggle, only to proceed to confuse you even more by implying he had never told a single lie. Was he even talking about you when he said that? Or something else completely unrelated?

A little bit of confirmation wouldn't hurt anybody.

It was odd to have Eren be the reason for your tears after so many years of him typically being the one to dry them off your face. Though thinking about it, he had been the leading cause for a lot of things as of late. The number a very concerning amount indeed. You barely even recognised him anymore. The once caring soul you fell in love with was no longer there, replaced with a man who had discovered the bittersweet lust for power based on a corrupted idealogy. Such a ruthless lust that it no longer mattered how that idealogy came to be, just as long as he managed to taste an essence of it.

You hated it. You hated that of all people it was Eren who tumbled down that drain. How did you allow yourself to fall in love with someone so possible of committing such atrocities? To worship him and give him everything you had, only to be told it was all for nothing and you were fighting a losing battle. You knew it was hopeless to hold on and believe that your Eren might return but at this rate that seemed unattainable. Not after witnessing him firsthand. The only thing left now was to move on and pray the world was on your side.

Part of you didn't want to move on though, so familiar with Eren as your crutch that a world without him sounded terrifying. You had grown so used to his presence in your life that all of this still felt so surreal no matter the fact you were very much living in it. Living in an endless hell that never allowed anyone a moment's peace. Not you. Not even Eren. Not a single human being on the planet. Nobody.

Just... where along the line had it all gone so painfully wrong?

[everafterkeiji]

Song: Officially Missing You by Tamia

Summary: When Tsukishima realizes how much he needs you even if you just started dating

Pairing: Kei Tsukishima x fem! reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 5.8k

A/N: this is PURE, ALSO JRISNDOESN I FORGOT ABOUT THE DISTANCE OF MIYAGI FROM TOKYO SO PLS LET'S ACT LIKE THEY'RE SEMI NEAR-

"Yes! Of course, Kei!"

It's only been two weeks when the blonde finally received your sweet approval of being his. You probably wouldn't have guessed to see the harsh boy with red cheeks and a smile on his features on that day, but it was safe to say it was a sight to remember. Icons and nicknames changed instantly when you two got home, the giddy feeling in your hearts making the new lovers stay up and talk until the dawn. You also couldn't forget the look on Yamaguchi's face when he saw you two holding hands when Tsukishima was walking you to your bus stop for you to go home, the green haired boy rushed to you immediately hugging you, genuinely happy his best friend finally found someone.

Even if it was only two weeks ago, it felt as if it should've happened a little earlier than that.

The only downside to this new found love was that you didn't exactly go to Karasuno unlike your boyfriend. You went to Nekoma high unknowing they were soon to be Karasunos opponent but you disregarded the idea and still decided that he was in fact, good for you. So every morning, he calls you when you two when you were on your way to school. He insisted on this little habit knowing you two never really have the time to be around each other since he was busy with training and so that he can spend time with you without his annoying teammates scramming around that he has a girlfriend.

With you being hours away from him, it was only right to text or call him whenever you arrived, reassuring him you were safe and sound. Even when you two were walking home, there was no way for you to end the call, cautious of the time you spent even if it was through FaceTime. In a short amount of time, this little habit was already embedded in your relationship. Tsukishima even managed to take notice of your schedule the minute you got home. When you've finally made it back to your house, you were bound to finish all of the requirements so you can talk to him all night once you're done.

You also managed to slip in a little gesture for the boy, sending him audios of you greeting him good morning or overall reminding him to take care of himself. Telling him it was his little good luck charm, something to remember you by whenever he was training. Surely he shouldn't be affected by something so simple but since it came from you, his heart never fails to flutter whenever he hears your sweet voice, greeting him so early in the morning with your little giggle when you went to talk about a dream you had.

As far as Tsukishima knows, he hasn't really made it clear to his teammates he was in a relationship. He didn't want to hear the never ending questions of the mysterious girl or even how it started. Even Yamaguchi doesn't ask questions about you knowing Yamaguchi was the only person Tsukishima even introduced you to- well was forced to introduce you since he really couldn't find an excuse as to why he was a holding a girls hand late in the afternoon.

"T-tsukki?" Yamaguchi utters, his eyes switching back and forth between your hands that were intertwined and to you in general. He wonders if he was dreaming, there was a huge chance of that but remembering how his best friend mentioned a girl in one of their conversations he can't help but blink wondering if you were the girl he was talking about. You look up to Tsukishima while he lets out a sigh as he pushes his glasses forward.

"This is Y/N my uh..girlfriend." You smile at the familiar boy and remove your hand from the blonde before sticking your hand out aiming to shake hands with him but instead arms were wrapped around you shortly catching you off guard. You hear a tch behind you but your hands were clasped into his shaking it excitedly.

"I'm Yamaguchi! It's so nice to finally meet you!"

On your side of the story, Kenma didn't really wanna intervene but when he sees you smiling at your phone he can't help but wonder if it was a game. Which lead you to admit that it was just your boyfriend and hearing the words slip your mouth, he just continued on with his game not even asking who the boyfriend was but soon Kuroo found out about the little secret at practice when it was just the two of them knowing you trusted Kuroo as well.

"Y/N promised me she was gonna ask something about chemistry. You know where she is?" Kuroo asks but he only receives a shrug from the smaller boy.

"Probably texting her boyfriend." He says nonchalantly and Kuroos eyebrows furrow but once he realizes that Kenma was actually being truthful, a smirk appears on his face.

"Ah! A boyfriend! That's interesting, I wonder who the bastard is. Do you know?" Kenma shakes his head no but Kuroo only lets the sly smirk on his features as he thinks about the next day, ready to bombard you with teases.

Kuroo stuck to his promise, urging you to spill who the lucky guy was but you only remained quiet with flustered cheeks as Kenma slightly glares at him wishing he'd stop the jokes, fully respecting your decision of not letting Kuroo know who the boy is.

Up til now, no one really noticed that their tallest teammate was in love since Tsukishima really didn't show an ounce of adoration on his features and he was entirely caught up in improving his moves and mocking the first years so his love life was kept behind doors.

But even if his features didn't show, his heart says otherwise.

How can his heart skip a beat when he sees you? What is that happy feeling in his stomach whenever you hold his hand? What is that anxious feeling when your name flashes on his screen? Needless to say he was new to everything, but nothing beats the feeling of having him make his way home to your arms when you two meet. All his exhaustion from long practices vanishes quickly when your arms were around him, your scent rubbing off him, and especially when your lips press to his cheek.

Disregarding his crave for your presence, he was still in denial of being clingy. He never really liked the idea of a person acting in such a way so he assumed he wouldn't act like that but when a girl comes strolling into his life, of course he was bound to act different but then he remembers a certain conversation between you and him.

"How was your day?" He asks and he can see through his screen you were shuffling in your bed hugging a pillow underneath you, your cheeks resting on the soft material and Tsukishima smiles slightly at the appeal.

"All good, Tsukki. Did you miss me?" You teased with an eyebrow raised. He rolls his eyes when he hears your little giggle, making his heart jump at the sound.

"You really didn't miss me?" You chuckle again but you look at the camera to see him staring right back.

"Pft..Of course I did, dumbass but I'm not the one to be clingy." He states and you run your fingers through your soft h/c hair. "Its okay to be clingy, babe. I really wouldn't mind having my boyfriend be crazy for me." He chuckles at your comment but shakes his head before adjusting his glasses.

"Sucks for you then, you can't expect me to be clingy that's for sure." You pout and his lips merely broke into a smile. How cute. He thought.

"Then maybe you are crazy."

"Oi!" And your laugh just echoes through his ears, a sound he found addicting like his favorite song.

Now that texting was your usual way of communicating, he wonders what it'd be like to be around you all the time. If only you were in the same school as he was, he wouldn't dare to pass up the opportunity of being with you 24/7 even if he has to be with his teammates, he'd still pick you over them in a heart beat.

With your father switching between Miyagi and Tokyo, it was beneficial for you two to meet at a location while your father was at work, waiting for him to pick you up. After school you would just ask him to take you to your school then picks you up in the afternoon so he can finish his job at Miyagi. With pure luck, you'd arrive at Miyagi at 7:30pm, wherein they've yet to finish training so you spend time with him when you're able.

So here he was after practice, bidding goodbye to Yamaguchi with his phone in his hands messaging you if you were here. You replied a yes and he was already on his way to see you, eager to experience your embrace.

And this is part of the day that he loved.

Ending the day, exhausted and worn out, just to feel refreshed when his eyes land on her figure. His heart swells with joy when he sees her sitting on the bench with a longing expression of her face. Then light is brought upon his world when her eyes met his, forming a smile onto her features as she walks over to him, slowly wrapping her arms around his tall figure. A sigh of relief is expressed and he reciprocates the embrace immediately his chin resting on top of your head as his hands caress you waist gently.

"You wanna eat before you go home? You look tired babe." You say and he just mindlessly nods, lost at the sweet tone of your voice. You step away from the embrace, grasping your hands with his before walking inside the convenience store. As you two pick up the food to eat, you were back at the bench with your head to his arm while you two feast on the snacks enjoying the night sky.

"Kei?" You turn to him and he looks right at you the minute his name slips off your lips.

"What?"

"I might be busy for a bit. There's a group project and an individual presentation for me to do. Is that fine with you bub?" You ask and Tsukishima rests your head on his arm once again.

"Of course I'm okay with it, idiot. Just don't over work yourself got it?" You nod and place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"What about you? Still training with Yams and the others?"

"Tragically, yes." He comments making you laugh. You threw the wrapper into the trash bin at the corner, Tsukishima following your movements as well. You both stood up, linking your arms with his as you two walk.

"I'm assuming they're not as bad as you make them to be. I mean Yamaguchi is so nice." You say earning a scoff from the boy.

"I promise you that two of them are little delinquents from hell-"

"Kei!" You slap his arm gently and he laughs at your gesture before planting a kiss to your hair, catching you off guard and making your heart leap with excitement.

"Okay, some aren't bad but you don't need to meet them. It's too chaotic and I know Hinata would not stop when he meets you." Tsukishima comes to a hault when you've received a notification from your father who was ready to pick you up. As expected, you immediately hug Tsukishima before pulling away and landing another peck to his cheek.

"I'll see you when I see you, Kei. Thanks for tonight." You say and he too lands a kiss upon your forehead before muttering a stay safe underneath his breath. You smile at his words before walking away from him, turning back to wave at him once in a while. Once you were for sure out of his vision, he smiles to himself, satisfied of another happy night with you.

-

As five days pass, he's yet to hear from his lovely girlfriend, not even meeting him in the morning now that she's driven to school by her father later than the time she usually goes with him. He's received texts later than he expected but it just proved she had a lot on her hands. He was the one who said to take her time so why's he missing her this fast? So he put his thoughts into practice knowing there was a practice match happening soon and he was expected to do his best.

"Oi, focus." Kageyamas voice detaches him from his thoughts earning a glare from the blonde. As the practice went on, his thoughts remained to be consumed by you.

Once they were back in their classroom, Yamaguchi takes a sit in front of Tsukishima who was busy scribbling some notes he'd missed when his mind was distracted by the thought of you.

"Did you and Y/N fight? You've been distracted all morning." Tsukishima crosses his arms to his chest, leaning back on his chair with a scoff to his expressions.

"No we didn't."

"Then what happened?"

"It's nothing serious." Tsukishima exclaims making Yamaguchi shrug before grabbing his snack and munching on it.

"Well that's good then. I like Y/N for you." Tsukishima playfully pushes Yamaguchi while his friend laughs knowing he made the taller boy blush.

When practice came to an end, he was expecting a message from you claiming you've gotten home safe, but all he saw was his wallpaper staring back at him, not even a single notification displayed or even a sound indicating a message. Beside him, Yamaguchi sneakily peaks at where Tsukishima was looking and he smiles to himself.

"Looks like somebody's missing Y/N-chan too much." He says earning a scoff from his friend.

"Shut up, I don't miss her."

"Your face says the opposite." But I do miss her, she's just really busy and I won't bother her for it but what if she's not at school? He thinks to himself. Worry rushing to his mind but his pride of messaging her stopped him.

"She's probably busy. Why don't you leave a message for her then?" Tsukishima rolls his eyes before plugging in his headphones that were around his neck.

"Like I didn't thought of that. I got to go." Yamaguchi bids a goodbye to the blonde before riding his own bike, heading home. Tsukishima stayed behind, hands gliding over his phone picking a song for him to listen to since his usual companion wasn't there.

"I like this song, do you have a playlist?" You asked while you walked alongside him. He nods making you smile.

"Can you send me your playlist?" Kei knew it was just a innocent question but it was enough to make his heart triple it's speed.

"No. Low class people like you don't deserve my music taste." He jokes making your remove the shared ear bud and slapping his arm playfully.

"You're a pain in the ass."

"Geez, thanks Y/N."

Once he arrives home, he laid in bed with his phone clutched to his hands, still waiting for the notification sound. The more he hears the annoying ticking of the clock, he unlocks his phone hurriedly before clicking on your contact typing away his anxiousness.

Oi, answer the phone dummie

Minutes turned into hours and soon his message was left on delivered.

I hope she didn't overwork herself. He thinks before wearing his headphones hoping his nerves wash away with every song but with every melody who does he think of?

You.

It was all you. He even wonders if it was healthy to miss a person like this. He opens his phone swiping continuously, gazing at every picture of you two taken from his phone. He'd see the photos of your cute little smile when you two were out on dates, you casually holding his hand, or even pictures with him when his arms were around your waist. He finds himself chuckling at photos you told him to delete but to him they were all adorable. From staring at the ceiling with memories replaying in his head, he falls asleep.

-

For Tsukishima, it was rather weird to step into your school knowing you didn't even expect him to be there.

"Hinata can you shut the fuck up?" Tsukishima groans as he tries to block out the excitement of the tangerine haired boy. Hinata was rambling on about how he was ready to beat the team against them but Kageyama wouldn't shut up as well making the conversation last longer than expected. The bus stops making them all step out, face to face with the Nekoma boys volleyball team.

"I've never seen you in your school uniform before. What school do you even go to again?" Tsukishima asks while you fix your tie. This was the first time he was seeing you after school. He couldn't really ignore the dark colors of your uniform.

"Nekoma High. Did I really not mention it to you?" Tsukishima shakes his head and Y/N giggles. In every date, you disregarded conversations about school since you two always had a nick for talking about songs and movies so it was no surprise the question slipped through his mind.

"I'm sorry I didn't mention it before, my parents went to Nekoma so I'm assuming it was only an obligation for me to follow in their footsteps."

"Following them to be the shortest student in Nekoma then?" Tsukishima teases and you roll your eyes.

"Says the fucking giraffe."

"Oi, say that again."

"A gira-" Tsukishima flicks your forehead with his fingers before walking ahead chuckling to himself before you caught up to him smacking him with your backpack.

He watches as Kuroo and Daichi shake hands, Yamamoto and Tanaka looking like a brawl was bound to happen, and Yamaguchi beside Tsukishma as they both watch the two teams.

"Someone can finally see their girlfriend~" Yamaguchi teases and Tsukishima rolls his eyes before looking around to make sure no one heard Yamaguchi.

"Shut up and lower your fucking voice, she's probably in class anyway."

"What if she watches us then? I bet you'd lose focus huh?" Yamaguchi laughs beside him and Tsukishima smacks the back of his neck playfully making him groan in pain.

"Let's get going everyone!"

-

"Holy shit!"

You stare at your phone with a miss call and message from Tsukishima but you couldn't respond as fast since you woke up late. Staring at the wall beside your bed, you got off your bed immediately and rushed your way into the bathroom to take the fastest shower you can take. Exiting the bathroom and wearing your uniform not even bothering that droplets from you wet hair created a trail around your room as you pack what you needed for school.

You went downstairs and bid goodbye to whoever was in the room and immediately opened the door to reveal your father, impatient with his hand on the steering wheel.

"I'm really sorry!" Your dad chuckles breaking his angry facade as he opens the door for you as you step in panting at how your energy was drained from moving so fast.

"You didn't eat did you?" You shake your head and your father hands you your breakfast. "I saw you passed out on your table I figured you'd be late so I went ahead and bought some." You smile at him, thanking him as he starts the engine and you pray that you weren't late and that you were able to compose yourself for the presentation.

When you made it to school you were already greeted by cold winds and you clutch onto your blouse, irritated that you couldn't bring a jacket but then you remembered a certain boy had your jacket. You decided it was best to find the jacket after your nerve wracking presentation since now you were focused of keeping away the anxiousness that was creeping up on you.

As you walked into the classroom, you were greeted by your also nervous classmates cramming around you asking if you were ready to which you responded too defensively letting your confidence collapse. You desperately wished the teacher would just cancel the presentation or even continue it some other day but she just had to pursue it tdoay and now it was affecting everyone.

"Good morning everyone!"

A voice echoes through the room and you swore you can hear the silent groans from your fellow classmates but a good morning was their response back. Your eyes land on the wall clock above the board and you bit your lip wishing it would all finish alreasy.

"Is everyone ready?"

"Nice kill!" Nishinoya shouts as Tanaka hit another successful spike. Everyone had their guards up especially the Nekoma boys, overwhelmed at Karasunos quick attack from the first year duo. Kenma, observing every teammates and reading the game as he usually does and Kuroo looking as intimidating than usual.

The bell rings and you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders. You place all of your belongings back to your bag and immediately leave the classroom knowing you were freezing to death. The presentation went better than what you expected, not a single stutter in your presence but deep inside you were crumbling with every word you manage to say. The minute you sat down, your heartbeat never came back to its original pace and the sweatiness in your palms didn't go away either but now that the class is officially over, you can finally have a moment to properly breathe.

You wandered around classrooms searching for the quiet setter to retrieve your jacket but he was nowhere in your sight. You assumed it was because he was still in training so you grabbed a snack before walking to the Nekoma gym.

With every walk, the more chills ran up your spine, cursing you were forced to wear a short skirt as a uniform. By the time you've reached the doors of the gym you already wanted to beg for Kenma to give you your jacket.

"Kenma-"

Your voice echoes through the gym as heads turn to your direction. The game to a hault suddenly and a certain pair of wide eyed golden brown eyes were stuck on you. Yamaguchi's eyes land on you before changing his gaze to Tsukishima who had a very obvious surprised state in his expressions. Yamaguchi chuckles as Sugawara looks at the boy.

"Who's that?" Sugawara asks as his curiosity watches you from afar as you make eye contact with your boyfriend, whose heart was picking up a new pace with every second your eyes remain on his.

"Ah Y/N! Come watch-" Kuroos eyes gaze at you and Tsukishima. He wonders if this was what Kenma was talking about, but you've never mentioned a boy like him, especially from a different school and with this assumption in his mind, an idea surfaces to his mind making him smirk.

The game finally resumed and you hear your heartbeat all too loudly as you took a seat watching them. Why is he here? A practice match? Why am I suddenly nervous? You assumed that the reason you felt nervous was because you haven't seen him in a week and you certainly did not expect to meet him like this, especially when Kuroo was there.

Kenma waves at you from where you sat and you awkwardly wave back as Karasuno wonders who you were.

"I bet it's their manager." Tanaka replies as his hands came contact with a ball, receiving it. Daichi glares at him and Tanaka quickly turns his head avoiding his gaze and Kuroo takes another look to where you were, eyeing your worry to a possible member of the opposite team.

The sound of the volleyballs colliding with the floor is a sound you should be used to considering every match Tsukishima has, you have to be there. Now that this was your first match you see him in, it was very unexpected that you came in such a random time. Even if you were late to this match, what mattered to you is that you finally get to see him. You certainly didn't mind watching him in such a focused and skilled state.

Your eyes linger to his teammates, seeing Yamaguchi in the corner and you waved to him and he flat out ignores you and you wonder why. Sugawara turns his attention to you giving you a warm smile before returning to watch the game.

They all look kind, what is Kei even talking about delinquents from-

A loud sound caught you off guard as two Karasuno members shout knowing they've once again succeeded with their quick attack. You turn to see number 9 and 10 as the others compliment them on the move.

Is this what Kei was talking about?

You began to turn your attention to the two watching them play as if every move was planned beforehand, moving in synch with each other. Kuroos confusion now grows as he watches you switch back and forth between 9 and 10. At that moment he wanted to give up in finding the mysterious boyfriend but once a ball suddenly hits a certain player, his assumption was proven to be correct.

"Tsukishima-" You watch as your boyfriend winces when a ball harshly passed to his fingers making Tsukishima look over to you, seeing your face painted with a weary expression. As he reassures his teammates he was okay, a rotation begins and he was face to face with the captain of Nekoma.

"The boyfriend huh?"

Tsukishimas eye's widen at Kuroos words but the second he realizes he was being serious, he lets out a sigh before returning his focus to the game not wanting to disappoint the team.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tsukishima replies before eyeing the ball carefully as Kuroo manages to spike it past him. Tsukishima glares at the captain but Kuroo laughs staring him down.

"Okay then four eyes. You better not be lying to me then." Kuroo says and Tsukishima sighs once more before forgetting the conversation that just happened, desperately wishing your relationship wouldn't be announced in this way.

Despite having to switch back and forth between classes and to the gym, you really wished the practice match ended already. You had no other choice anyway. With every visit to the gym, your eyes were still fixated on Tsukishima. He knows you were staring right at him and the nerves catch up to him the minute you watch him.

Now it's different, finally the practice match came to an end as you went to Kenma, tapping him slightly on the shoulder. He turns to you but another figure comes beside you two.

"Y/N. This is Shoyo." Shoyo excitedly shakes your hand with his and you smile at him and take in his features.

"Are you Hinata?" Shoyo happily nods but his head comes to a tilt when you mentioned his name knowing Kenma didn't exactly introduce him that way.

"Do we know each other? Oh! You're the girl who entered the gym! I'm so sorry I didn't notice you though!" He rambles on and you giggle at him, understanding why Kei was irritated at the small boy.

"Well not really but-"

"Oh Y/N, I forgot here's your jacket. Sorry for keeping it too long." Kenma hands you your jacket and you smile, hugging the fabric close to you.

"Thanks Kenma! I actually wanted to get it from you earlier, I didn't know you were in a match." Kenma nods to you and he signals you to move close to him. You awkwardly obey as he whispers into your ear.

"I think Kuroo knows who your boyfriend is." You chuckle at his words but when you pull away you notice a certain friend was staring down your giant of a boyfriend.

"T-thanks, Kenma." Now, you weren't humiliated of your relationship, what you weren't ready for was Kuroos endless comments on how you've finally settled on a boyfriend.

As Karasuno entered the bus, Tsukishima desperately wanted to stay behind so he can walk you home now that school ended but coach Ukai insisted on training once they were back. You wanted to talk to him but his entire team was caught up with talking to Kuroo and the others and you didn't wanna interrupt. Tsukishima didn't even notice when the teams were all gathered, you were already gone.

But now he's caught a familiar figure with hands stuck to their phone with earphones plugged in with their eyes calmly set ahead of them. Tsukishima stands up with his duffel bag catching the sleepy Yamaguchi off guard as he quickly makes way to his teacher asking if the bus could stop. Takeda questions the tall boy as the rest of the boys woke up slightly wondering if they were at school already.

"Sir please, I promise I'll make my way back to the school for practice. This is um- important." Tsukishima pleads and Takeda nods giving in the boys request.

"Are we here?" Tanaka lazily asks, rubbing his eyes and he watches Tsukishima making his way outside the bus. He was half awake so he mindlessly lifts his duffel bag in his shoulders thinking they've arrived but he watches through the window of Tsukishima catching the attention of a girl. Takeda eyes Tanaka wondering if he was going to leave as well.

"Tanaka?"

"Look Tsukishimas with a girl.. WITH A GIRL?" His scream awakens half the team but they groan and once Nishinoya lays eyes on the pair he was up on his feet, face near the window.

"TSUKISHIMA HAS A GIRLFRIEND- OH WAIT THAT'S THE GIRL FROM THE NEKOMA RIGHT?" Nishinoya shouts and Daichi runs a frustrated hand through his hair, now all the members of the Karasuno volleyball team had their curiosity to the window. Once they saw the girl give a peck to Tsukishimas cheek, they were all wide eyed and interested in what was happening.

"Are you sure she's isn't held hostage?"

"Yo, she looks hot-"

"Oh she's the girl Kenma was talking to!" Hinata exclaims and then they all look at the boy.

"Didn't know she was Tsukishimas g-girlfriend though!" He says and Ukai is confused as to why all the boys were all staring at the window, it's also been three minutes since Tsukishima left and the bus was still not moving. Sugawara looks over to Yamaguchi who had no reaction whatsoever so he nudges him.

"Did you know about this?" Suga asks and it was a moment of silence until Yamaguchi felt a dozen eyes land on him, suddenly feeling like he was gonna faint from how intense Tanaka and Nishinoya was staring at him.

"He- I uh.. m-met her already.." He shyly says earning a scream from the two years as they surround him.

"WHAT OTHER SECRETS DO YOU HIDE FROM US?"

"THIS IS BETRAYAL!"

They scream and Suga and Asahi laugh at the two years but smile as they watch Tsukishima walk with the girl, hands together with the afternoon sunlight shining on them.

"Let them be everyone. Sorry about that sir, we can go home now. " Daichi says and Tanaka and Nishinoya finally left Yamaguchi. Before the bus moves, Tanaka decides to bring up a plan for the blonde boy.

The trip finally resumes and once the couple was in their sight again, casually laughing, Tanaka opens the window with a goofy grin on his face along with his partner Nishinoya as the rest of the team open the window ready to tease the poor boy.

"HEY! I'M TANAKA! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU TSUKISHIMAS GIRLFRIEND!"

"I'M THE LIBERO NISHINOYA!"

"I'm Sugawara!"

"Daichi."

"Asahi!"

"IT'S HINATA AGAIN! FROM EARLIER-"

"I'm Kageyama."

You didn't really understand why the Karasuno team was introducing themselves to you, especially when you were on the walk with your boyfriend who has been blushing the entire time, badly wanting for the earth to swallow him.

"I'm Y/N! H-hello!" You say with a giggle, laughing at Tsukishimas expression and he walks ahead, hands to his pockets with head low as you catch up to him with the bus still slowly following you two.

"YOU'VE GONE SOFT YOU BEANPOLE TAKE THAT HA!" Hinata screams and once Tsukishima hears his voice, his head snaps looking at Hinata before Hinata grabs onto Tanakas jacket tugging on it and yelling for someone to drive and leave now. Before Tsukishima can even run to him the bus drives off leaving a very happy Hinata and an embrassaed boy.

You link arms with him again, still laughing at what he just had to go through. Tsukishima hides his face from you and you pull his hand making him stop as you stood in front of him with that gorgeous smile he adores.

"Kei, seriously they're gone. Stop blushing already." You say making Tsukishima drop your hand as he walks ahead making you shake your head before chuckling.

"I'm not blushing, dumbass." He says stubbornly and you pull him by the hand again bringing him close to you. You were 5'7 so it was enough for you to place your delicate hands to his warm cheeks and before he can respond you've placed your lips onto his for the first time, and you can sense how shocked he was. You pull away with a cheeky smile as you walk ahead of him while he was still in deep thought of what just happened. He couldn't really put into words how his heart practically went in loops at the gesture.

If this is what he receives after days of not being with you, then maybe he'd consider being clingy.

"Huh, first time you've got nothing to say." You teased as you continue to walk laughing at the impact your kiss hand on him. He looks at you before a smile creeps on his lips, then catches up to you pulling you by your waist and now he was standing in front of you, his figure towering over yours.

"Oi, you think you can just pull a stunt like that pipsqueak?" You happily nod as he lowers his head making you roll your eyes knowing this was his gesture when he was ready to throw some insults.

But instead of an insult, all you got was a pair of lips on yours before it vanished before you, the blonde pulling away from the peck as he flicks your forehead like he always does, with his fingers dragging you out of the daze.

"Are you coming with me or not?"

".. of course I am, Kei."

"Good cause it looked like you wanted something else-"

"TSUKISHIMA!"

BONUS:

When he walks back to Karasunos gym, he was greeted by his teammates standing in front of him all lined up, as he lowers his head, Yamaguchi laughing silently at his friends embarassment.

".. yes she's my girlfriend-"

Then the sound of chaotic screams and endless questions has begun.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 12: Changes •

A/N: The missing gaps in time are on purpose since they will be in book 2 as flashbacks, which will include references to events you have not read yet. All fluff and shenanigans this chapter to make up for last, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: brief mention of nausea and gore towards the very end, but otherwise, tooth-rotting fluff!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧

𝐀𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝𝐬

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧' 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡

              - David Bowie, Changes

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

- 𝗠𝗜𝗗 𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗦𝗧 -

    "I still can't believe you went after Bowers," Richie scoffs.

    As he steps off his porch and onto his lawn he looks over at his best friend and takes another gander at the bruises and welts littering her skin. Her lip was still busted and despite his and his mother's efforts to clean her bottom lip of blood, it must have started bleeding again sometime during the night as more had crusted over.

    "Yeah, well," she shrugs. "It felt good,"

    "Yeah," he snorts. "It looks like it,"

    "You know what I mean," She elbowed him and he nodded with a little laugh.

    "What d'ya want to do? I mean, we could keep standing around here like a bunch of idiots, but-" he shrugs, hands falling into his pockets, and Y/n smiles.

    "I dunno," she shrugs. A wince falls over her face, a painful-looking one at that. "But I don't think I'm gonna be welcome back at the Capitol Theatre any time soon."

    Richie nodded, a ghostly look falling over his face at all that had transpired in the past twenty-four hours alone. He still couldn't believe she had done that. He still couldn't believe a lot of things but her being in his corner after what she had found out seemed a little harder to believe right now. Especially after the junkyard... But - Jesus, that was already a week and a half ago, it felt like only hours.

    He could hear her words from the park the other day in his ears and he suddenly felt the urge to pay her back. He smiled his charming crooked smile and hoped for the best.

    "You still craving fries?"

    "Always," she answered, a look of suspicion written in her features. "Why?"

    Y/n didn't know why she kept asking these questions when she knew the answer. She didn't at all like the look growing in his eyes or the stupid feeling of guilt growing in her stomach.

    "Cause I'm prepared to make a deal with ya toots,"

     "Oh, yeah?"

    "Sure am," he says, patting his hand over his left pocket. "I'd been saving up for a long weekend at the arcade but that's a bust. And I just got a raise on my allowance ━ that's again, toots. Allowance. It's the money you get when you do stuff for people, you might never have heard of it--"

    "Is there a point here, Rich? Cause if so, you better get to it faster,"

    "Point is, I'm packing and I'm also craving milkshakes. So how's about I treat you to the biggest pile of fries your staved ass has ever seen--"

    Y/n shoots him a knowing look, ready to detest when he holds out a finger.

    "If," he continues. "you take me there."

    "Take you there?"

    "Take me there," he nodded. "By piggyback."

    Y/n gave thought to this, all while hiding behind an unimpressed look. As much as she hated to admit it, she was starving.

    Richie shrugged. "Hey, you're the one always saying you don't want to feel like charity. Well, this ain't charity, this is work with a reward. Take it or leave it,"

    Her unimpressed look grows stronger in an attempt to buy her time. But it's useless, her stomach answers for her with a long growl and a smile sneaks up on her.

    She steps forward, crouching down a bit for him to jump on her back. "Alright, let's get this over with."

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

    "You know, I was really worried about carrying you, but dude, you weigh like nothing. You're a fucking bean pole," Y/n says.

    She comes to a slow before straightened her back letting him slide off her back and onto the ground. The two of them had arrived at the nearest diner in the town square where they now stood.

    "Well, not to brag or anything, but," he fluffs his collar. "I took a massive shit before we left,"

    "Ugh!" a shocked and uncomfortable laugh breaks loose from Y/n and she sticks out her tongue in disgust. "Regretting this already."

    She threw open the doors and the two found themselves inside one of Derry's lesser diners.

    It smelled like sausage and coffee beans, and it had a vibrant red and black theme. There were maybe nine or ten people there, little kids included and they could hear the jukebox blasting a David Bowie song. Y/n had a hard time enjoying it with the combination of a full bladder and an empty stomach so she turns to Richie and nudges him with her elbow.

    "I'm gonna run to the restroom. Get us a booth?"

    "Do your thing," Y/n nods and disappears around the corner. As his eyes follow her, they land on the corner in question she had disappeared around where there sat the jukebox.

    He wanders over, eyeing the machine as Changes reaches a crescendo. A mischievous smile blooms as the lights from the window illuminated his face.

    "Three plays for a dollar, huh?"

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

    When Y/n returned from the restroom, she had expected to find Richie lounging in a booth somewhere, feet up and bugging the employees. She did not expect to turn the corner and nearly collide with the boy as he stood at the Jukebox and feeding all his money into it.

    "Dude! I carried you here, you owe me fries!"

    "And you shall get them my liege," answered Richie in a Shakespearean tone. "But first!" He dropped the act and looked away from the Jukebox for the first time, wearing an almost evil grin. "A social experiment,"

    Y/n's brow furrowed as she watched Richie punch in the same Tom Jones song over and over and over. It was then she caught on to what he was doing. She held out a hand as her eyes watched the Jukebox.

    "Hey, hey, hey, wait," she said, stopping Richie in his tracks.

    He looked up at her with a pout. "Relax, toots. I saved just enough for their biggest basket of fries, you'll get them." Then Richie saw the look on her face. He could practically see the gears turning.

    "No, not that. It's just..." she said, eyes never leaving the list of songs. "Before you put in more, you should throw in one It's Not Unusual,"

    And that's when the afternoon went from good to great.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

    By now, the duo had ordered and waited. They now sat tucked into a corner booth with a great view of the street corner and the passers-by of Derry. Changes had long since ended, and the remaining songs in the queue had trickled out. Richie memorized the song queue and was silently counting down until the big moment as he sat across from his battered-up best friend.

    Her busted lip poked out in a bored pout, her chin propped up on her palm as she balanced her head on the table while looking out at the graying town landscape. It always escaped her how Derry could possibly look so gloomy on even the hottest, brightest days of summer. Until recently that is, the truth all too clear to her and her friends now.

    The thought of the Losers scattered all over this hellhole only added to the gloom. They should all be here, together. Pointlessly debating which condiment goes best with fries, not fighting over... Over what they had fought over.

    Y/n's eyes finally broke away from the manhole at the center of the little intersection outside and wandered over to Richie. He had stolen the salt and pepper shakers from a few empty (and not so empty) tables and was currently doing his best to construct a salt and pepper shaker tower. His tongue was sticking out from between his curled lips and his glasses were sliding to the end of his nose at the angle he looking. The tower was nearly three shakers high and Y/n could hear him muttering, 'where's Haystack when you need him?' under his breath.

    The gloom Y/n had been thinking so intently on was suddenly ebbed away at the sight, and the corners of her lips hooked into a small smile.

    At least she had her favorite Trashmouth.

    "If you keep undressing me with your eyes, I'm gonna catch a cold," said Richie, never once looking up from his tower.

    Y/n snorts. "You're unbearable,"

    Richie shrugs defensively. "Hey, you're the one who said we're stuck with each other," he clicks his tongue and winks. "No going back on that kind of deal,"

    "Oh, I meant what I said," Y/n releases her chin and folds both arms on the table. She hated getting all serious again, but she just needed to be sure. Her voice softens, trying to catch Richie's eye. "All of it, okay?"

    Richie's hand around the salt shaker stops, and he pries his eyes off the tower and to his best friend. Despite her intentions and promises, everything that transpired the day before -- good and bad -- flooded over him and made him tense.

    She suddenly offered him her pinky and a small smile.

    "Stuck forever?"

    Richie rolls his eyes. He didn't quite know who to blame, maybe just the losers in general, but he was going all soft and lame.

    "Like my ass and a toilet seat, toots,"

    He locked his pinky with hers and the deal was sealed forever.

    Y/n leaned back on her side of the booth and took a large swig of the complimentary water as her eyes returned to the streets. The chatter of the diner had died down a little. There weren't as many people since they got there, but they were still filtering in and out. But when Y/n had a hard time shaking off the images she had of her best friend in the state he had been, she deems it safe enough to lean forward and lowered her voice.

    "You know," she began picking at her napkin, making slow and tiny tears here and there. "I--" she sighs, not knowing how or where to begin. "I wouldn't blame you."

    Richie, having abandoned his shaker tower, frowns.

"I wouldn't blame you if maybe, it was -- or is hard to be..." she shakes her head again and rubs her forehead trying to find the words. "I wouldn't blame you if it was hard to be around me and Eddie," She blurts.

    "I'm gonna stop you right there," Richie says. "We're not gonna do that, okay? You have exceeded your sappy meter and you're gonna need to wait about 48 hours for it to charge up again. I think we've both had enough, right?"

    Y/n swallowed her words. She swallowed any promise she was holding out to him that their feelings for Eddie wouldn't change anything. That she wouldn't ever want to stand in their way, however true it was. And instead, she made a new one.

    "Let's just agree, whatever happens, happens. Let that be whatever it needs to be. Even if that means neither of us gets to see that adorable, asthmatic pipsqueak ever again. Deal?"

    Y/n fought the bittersweet smile threatening to appear. She could see it now. Richie knew what he needed to know about himself now, and that was already a lot for him to handle. She could see in his eyes he wasn't ready for the possibility of whatever was his feelings for Eddie Kaspbrak.

    Y/n's stomach turns to knots when the thought crosses her mind, but that only confirms to her it was time.

    She looks around the diner, looking for prying eyes and she still finds none. She leans in, voice lowered as she fiddles with her napkin again. "I'm uh--," she clears her throat. "I've never told anyone this, but..."

    She lets out a sharp breath. "Well, let's just say Eddie isn't the first Loser I've ever had feelings for,"

    Richie shakes his head, making a "what am I supposed to do with that?" face at her sudden shyness. She only gives him a solid stare until it finally clicks.

    Richie collapses against the seatback with a gaping, triumphant look.

    "No. Fucking. Way," Richie slaps his hands on the table and leans forward, and an ugly excited laugh comes barreling out of his chest. "You big homo!"

    "Would you fucking shut up?!" Y/n hisses, reaching over and shoving him back against his seat by his forehead. She looks around the diner and determines no one had heard that. Maybe except one guy in his forties, but that was most likely about him knowing they did something to the jukebox. He was sat with his young kids, looking tired and all too suspicious of their laughter at the jukebox. Finally, she laughs a little. "Beep, beep you moron."

    "You telling me you and Little Orphan Annie...?"

    "I'm saying," Y/n sighs, shrugging her shoulders. "I meant it when I said you're not alone, alright?"

    The look in Richie's eyes hardly changes.

    "No!" She answers. "No, nothing's happened but..." Y/n shook her head. "I had feelings for a really long time, up until about two years ago."

    "Wowza," Richie sighs, leaning back into his seat and plopping one hand on the table. He sighs. "We sure know how to pick em,"

    "Yeah, you could say that," Y/n laughs.

    In fact, that's all she could say. A million things ran through her head, things she wanted to say to Richie but couldn't. Cause when she looked in Richie's eyes at that moment she -- they both -- knew everything unsaid could remain that way. With one look they knew. They knew that they could both count on each other, have each other's back. And that included Eddie too. They knew that no matter who held Eddie's heart, they could both agree that Eddie's happiness -- and each other's -- was most important.

    The sound of brass instruments invaded the atmosphere, pulling the duo's eyes to the jukebox across the diner. Their faces lit up in matching grins, both of them nearly forgetting the psychological horror they had just unleashed upon the diner.

    "What's new pussycat? Woah, wo~ah,"

    And thus began the best meal they ever had.

- 𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗦𝗧 -

    Y/n relished at the demanding burst of cool air that bombarded her sweaty skin as she stepped inside Keene's pharmacy. The grip on the money she had scraped together tucked tightly in her right palm grew tighter when the shopkeeper's bell announced her arrival. Her eyes fell to her injured leg, and by now her feet have already begun their journey forward towards the first aid supplies. The last of the bandages secured around her leg, and she winced at the faded and stained cloth that was in dire need of a change.

    Her eyes pick up from the ground when she hears a choked gasp only to find the boy that had been occupying her thoughts standing before her.

    "Y/n," His voice is meek and heavy with sadness, and you can hear the absence of breath in his lungs that she always seemed to create.

    Despite the staggering stampede of emotions she felt, she found herself releasing a chuckle. "Hey, shrimp."

    The name itself would have been strong enough to send hooks into the corner of his lips, tugging them into a half-smile had it not been for the sight before him; she was a wreck. Looked as if she had been put through an actual wringer and his heart stops for a moment, in fear. At that moment he is grateful he has his inhaler, Y/n had a talent for taking his breath away but he never would have dreamed of it happening this way. Already his mind is going at twice its speed, a mad swarm of thoughts that dizzy his head, and as quickly as he can he tries to pluck one - just one - thing to say to her. When he finally speaks, he is thankful that his voice has returned to him.

    "How's your leg?"

    He doesn't have to ask, the first thing he saw - the very feature that tipped him off about her - was the blood-soaked bandages wrapped around her left calf. He couldn't imagine why it would still be bleeding, much less this profusely given how long ago it had been. Perhaps it had opened back up. And Eddie felt it best not to address the new set of scrapes and bandages that were scattered across her arms and legs, though each one filled him with worry. But her eye... it was completely swollen, and several shades darker than a usual bruise.

    She grew rather sick looking at the question and instantly he was filled with dread. Had It gotten to her again? Was it something new entirely? Either way, he felt a great deal of guilt he hadn't been there, and more than anything he wanted her safe. Maybe, if it wasn't too crazy, be the one to look out for her. To protect her.

    "I just," she swallows thickly, eyes darting around to avoid his eye line.

    Eddie tilts his head, encouraging her to continue. She looks as if she's about to unload a great deal off of her chest, but after a moment she shakes her head.

    "Nothing," she lies. "Just need new bandages."

    Eddie's horrified expression does not waver, but only intensifies, zeroing in on her. He just simply can't ignore the state she's in. And while every instinct inside him screams to jump in and help, he knows that's not his call nor his place. But he had to ask, he had to know.

    "Are you okay?" He blurts suddenly. He mentally slapped himself. Of course she wasn't. "What happened...? You're leg? You're eye? Are you in trouble at home? Was it...?"

    She grows tense, and Eddie scolds himself once more when he sees her walls rebuilding themselves. He hated his stupid word vomit sometimes.

    "No, Eddie!" she says tiredly, sighing at her slight outburst. "I'm..." she sighs again, staring at the floor, looking almost... calculated.

    Finally, she picks her head back up, her expression flat, but her tone a bit softer. "Just Bowers. The usual."

    Eddie couldn't help but feel like she was lying. And that hurt him. But he understood. If she had pressed him about things at home he probably would have done the same. Eddie sighed deeply as well.

    He missed the way things were.

    He missed Y/n.

    He missed the feeling he got around her, the storm of butterflies and mind-numbing fits of laughter they'd bring out in one another. He missed the way his skin would tingle like every blood cell was on fire when their skin accidentally brushed together. Eddie missed the way he'd lose himself in thoughts about her like he was now.

    Eddie didn't realize it until that last thought crossed his mind, but this was the first time in weeks he felt something other than anxiety and fear. And maybe he was crazy, but when he looked in Y/n's eyes now he thought he saw it too -

    "I'm sorry, Eddie," she says, breaking him from his daydream, sending him falling back down to earth. "But I really need to take care of this."

    He glances down at her leg, the bandage still soaked with blood and he feels fear squeeze his chest again. She was leaving. And that meant he had to, as well. He would have to say goodbye and go back home to his mother. He could hear her haunted cries, whining at him and wailing. What took you so long, Eddie? Don't you know what you're doing to my heart?

    Eddie goes rigid at the thought when he realizes; the last time he saw Y/n... Those horrible things his mother had said to her and he... Jesus, what she must think.

    "Y-Y/n," he sputters desperately as she begins to limp around him. She had gotten no answer for once again he had gotten lost in his thoughts. But he couldn't have it end like this. He just couldn't. "Y/n, I'm sorry."

    She stops in her tracks and looks back at him, thoughtfully. A sad smile graces her face.

    "I know, shrimp,"

    Her eyes hold a thousand words, a million things she wants to say to him as he wants to say to her. But they die out, and she turns away.

    "Y/n!"

    He couldn't let her go, he just couldn't. Then why was this so difficult? He always had a mouthful to say, but around Y/n L/n, Eddie was always speechless.

    "I wanna..." he gulps, a pleading, sincere look in his eyes. "I wanna see you again." He admits.

    Y/n smiles sadly. Like she doesn't want to let him go either. But still, she gives him a pleading look after gesturing to her leg.

    "Eddie, I gotta take care of this,"

     His head sunk to the floor and he nodded, embarrassed. Of course, what the hell was he thinking? She didn't need him coming in and messing things -

    Her sudden sigh broke his thoughts. "Meet me outside in five? I could use some help,"

     A nervous smile broke out, stretching and hurting his cheeks and Eddie nodded when he met her eye. He was out the door without another word, back in the alley where he had first bandaged her up all those months ago.

    His mind raced with possibility and more unanswered questions. What would he do, what would he say? What had happened to her, and could he have been there to stop it? His face still burned with embarrassment when he thought of the things he let his mother say to her, how livid he was with himself.

    It was all he could do not to bounce off the walls from the jitters. The crates from the last alley visit, or at least some like it, remained and so Eddie eagerly took a seat. His knee bounced up and down at unnatural speeds as his mind raced, his eyes wandering the alley as the wind swept in a familiar summer breeze against his cheeks.

    "I really need to focus right now," he orders, his hands making delicate work of the bandage over the new kid's stomach.

    "You need to focus?" Richie snorts over his shoulder, causing Eddie's cheeks to burn.

    "Yeah, can you go get me something?"

    "Jesus! What do you need?"

    "Go get my bifocals. I hid 'em in my second fanny pack."

    Y/n leaned forward, balanced on her knees with a crooked smile that would with Eddie for days. "You have a second fanny pack?"

    The burning in his cheeks grew, and Stan joined in. "Yeah, why do you have two?"

    Eddie didn't dare meet anyone's eye, let alone Richie or Y/n's.

    "I need to focus right now and it's a long story. I don't want to get into it."

    Besides! He was telling the truth! He needed to focus. Who knows what kind of shit has gotten into this kid's system by now?

    Eddie had nearly finished with the new kid's bandages when he heard the jingle of the store bell.

    "Yep. Thanks." Came the hardened voice of Y/n backing out and towards the alley with a pressed and forced smile before turning for the alley and away from whoever she had been talking to. Eddie was the only one to have caught the small whispered words under her breath from the silence of the alley. "-for nothing, I guess..."

    Eddie shot up from his seat, subconsciously straightening out his shirt.

    "Everything okay? What was that all about?" He asked as Y/n finally joined him. Eddie sputtered, mentally kicking himself for prying. "I mean, you don't have to tell me or anything, it's just you seemed frustrated. You know what never mind, you probably want to get your leg fixed up, right?"

   Eddie stopped again, shifting on his feet when he realized Y/n must be waiting to talk. "Sorry," he mumbled. And to his great surprise, she smiled.

    "Don't be. I've missed your word vomit," she joked.

    Eddie could feel the corners of his lips twitching up in a smile, and something happened to him he hadn't felt in a long time; flutters invaded his chest, making the air he breathed feel lighter and his stomach was doing flips. And he would have fallen harder had he known Y/n's stomach was doing flips right along with him, and a burning sensation lighting up her neck and ears.

    "Well, here-" Eddie said, snapping out of his daze, no longer able to stand by and ignore the gash in her leg. He supposed it really was like old times. He stepped aside, gesturing for the crates and taking the bag of supplies Y/n had handed over.

    "For real though," Eddie began, eyeing her nervously as he unzipped his fanny bag and begun fishing inside for hand wipes. "What happened, Y/n?"

    Her smile fell, and her eyes dropped to her lap where her fingers fiddled together. To Eddie, it felt like a long time before she finally answered.

    "A lot's happened since Niebolt, I'll leave it at that,"

    Eddie nodded, and stepped forward, lowering himself to his knees before her injured leg, and began unwrapping the first of the supplies from her grocery bag. "It feels like years ago,"

    "Yeah, it does," Y/n croaks.

    There's another small silence and Eddie feels a tug in his chest when her eyes linger over him. He only spares a moment to meet her eyes back before taking a deep breath and holding it. With a wince, he unraveled the cloth and quickly discarded it. He tried not to linger on the injury; the edges of her claw-like scars remained, but it looked as if they had been messily pried back open.

    Like deja vu, Eddie found himself battling to keep his lunch in his stomach, but the overall worry in his system for one of his best friends triumphed over it this time around. He dismissed the urge to gag and instead darted his eyes to Y/n in between his work.

    "So..." he asked, realizing he didn't really know where to start. "how have you been? Other than, you know," he laughed nervously.

    To his relief, Y/n smiled.

    "It's hard not being around the losers. I only ever see Richie anymore. Even Bev and I haven't really spoken since the fight, which has been really hard. We've been in each other's lives for so long,"

    As Eddie finishes cleaning the wound, his heart sinks a little at her words. True, he missed Beverly very much. But he also knew all too well what Y/n spoke of, and judging by the look in her eye as she softens at him, she knows it too. She gives him a gentle nudge with her foot.

    "He misses you too," she says, growing another small smile. "Won't shut up about you, in fact. Which is saying something... Guess I'm one to talk, though," she adds, watching him nervously out of the corner of her eye, and Eddie's heart skipped another beat.

    "What about you, shrimp? Dare I ask?" She says with a smile.

    Eddie, Y/n noticed, had been unusually quiet. By now, on any other occasion, he would have talked laps around her by now but something was keeping him. Maybe he just feels a bit out of step, she thinks, as she did. It had been far too long since things had been normal for either of them. But something told her he was now particularly quiet perhaps because he wasn't all that eager to share how things had been for him since the losers split. She couldn't imagine things had been well at home with his mother given everything that had transpired.

    So she didn't pry. She changes the subject, hoping to get his mind off of whatever might be bothering him. Her mind returns to his previous questions, and she bites the bullet.

    "Quitting my job." She says finally, stunning Eddie enough to pull his attention away for a split second. "You wondered what I was doing there. And aside from restocking, I was um... I was quitting my job."

    "You got a job at Keene's Pharmacy? When?" Eddie asked, reaching for a strip of gauze.

    Y/n seemed to think about it for a minute, counting the days in her head before shrugging. Leaning forward, she holds the gauze in places Eddie begins applying the bandages. "I guess a little over two weeks after Niebolt. I did little things around the store, this and that really,"

    "How come I never saw you?" Eddie asked, and Y/n shrugged.

    "He had me running errands most of the time," and she smiled a little. "But sometimes I'd stick around a little longer. I'd offer to sweep or restock the shelves or something. It's stupid, I know, but... I don't know, I guess I was hoping to see some admittedly cute... shrimpy little dude come walking in to refill his inhaler. Is that stupid?"

    Eddie paused, unable to hide the smile or the raging blush taking over his face. Y/n smiled to herself when she saw it, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't feeling a little bit of it too. Finally, Eddie spoke. Or at least, he tried to. His voice came out hoarse and he cleared his throat, quickly shaking his head as he secured the bandages in place and began disinfecting his hands.

    "No. No, that's not stupid at all. I mean, I don't know if I'd say shrimpy, necessarily, maybe a little skinny but-"

    Y/n laughed, smiling hard at the boy she hadn't stopped thinking about for weeks. Like Eddie, she hadn't realized just how much she had missed him until now. But, she hoped, maybe she could change that.

    Eddie trailed off, his ears burning at her laugh but a smile on his face all the same. At this moment, everything was perfect. Or seemingly so, at least. And then...

    "Thanks, Doctor K,"

     He smiled, a sinking feeling in his chest knowing what was coming next as she hoisted herself back on her feet. "Yeah, of course."

    A silence falls over the two, a silence they know won't last.

    "I guess I should get going," Y/n says finally, gesturing down the alleyway. "I'm meeting up with Richie later, he's swinging by my place." And for a moment, she looks hopeful and Eddie already knows what she's going to ask. "You're welcome to come. We both really miss you,"

    Yet again, Eddie Kaspbrak finds himself with a million thoughts racing in his head, but no words on his tongue. What could he say that wouldn't hurt her? What could he say that wouldn't essentially admit he was still a coward who couldn't stand up to his own mother? What could he say?

    But evidently, he doesn't have to. Y/n can see it in his eyes, and any trace of hope deflates with her. She nods sadly, eyes now on the ground and her freshly bandaged leg. "I get it, Eddie. It's fine. You don't have to say anything."

    "Y/n..." He didn't know what felt worse; knowing he let her down, or the sound of her using his real name.

    "Really, it's okay,"

    But it wasn't okay. And Eddie knew that. Today he had been given a second chance with Y/n, and already he had fucked it up. Or so he thought...

    A smile returned to her face just before she left; it wasn't nearly as bright as it had been moments ago, but it was as real as any other he had seen all summer. And then she spoke. She spoke the three words over her shoulder as she disappeared out of view that returned a familiar spark to his chest.

    "I'll call you."

    There was hope yet.

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EDINBURGH TO BOSTON - CHAPTER 21 - SECRETS AND TRUTHS

Hello all, Finally the new chapter of Edinburgh to Boston is ready.

As I said in my update this has not been betaed. Therefore, any mistakes. lack of continuity or general mess-ups are all mine. I hope you will forgive me and overlook them. It took some re-writing when I read it over several times and I hope I caught all the mistakes.

This has been my baby for a long time and honestly, I think that was another reason that took so long to finish it as this is the last chapter. There will be an epilogue to clean up some things that are hanging around.

Just because this is the last chapter, does not mean this is the end. I can't really let go of these two people. They are so dear to my heart. Besides that, as I wrote this I realized that I did not totally address the opening premise that I made. If you recall I said that Fate and Destiny had their hands in seeing these two come together. There are other stories to tell about how such forces brought them together. I do plan a Part II but how I will do it has yet to be planned out.

I can't thank you all enough for being patient with me during times of difficulty when it took so long to get a chapter posted. I am so honored that so many of you liked this story which I honestly thought was going to fall flat on its face. I never dreamed I would get the response to it that I did. I thank you all for reading, commenting, giving the story some love. I am truly overwhelmed by your kindness.

As always I need to thank my betas who helped me along the way and gave me the encouragement to continue when I didn't think I could do it. @scubalass you're the best.

Without further ado and a tear in my eye, I give you Chapter 21 Edinburgh to Boston.

Edinburgh to Boston

Chapter 21

Secrets and Truths

“Come On! Come On! COME ON!” Claire groused at the tardy lift. It really wouldn’t do to be late for surgery on her first day back to work. She wanted to give the damn thing a good kick but thought better of it since she would be standing for most of the day. The idea of standing on a sore foot did not appeal to her.

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, what is taking this thing so long? For a new building, you would think they would have installed a better lift system.” Finally, the doors slid open on the fifth floor where the cardiothoracic surgery department offices were located.

She ran down the corridor trying to free herself from her coat while hanging onto the bag containing her morning fix.

Claire ran through the building’s front door shouting a greeting to Eddie, the security guard on duty. She made a beeline for the Cafe to get her morning coffee before going up to her office. It would be a long and trying day and the caffeine jolt would serve as her means of survival.

Niall stood behind the counter and grinned at her. “Late Dr. B?”

“Whatever made you think so?” she replied rather dryly. Her face was flushed and her hair exploded out from her wooly cap.

“Just a wild guess,” he smirked.

“Humph!” she snarled. “I would love to stand and chat with you but I have surgery in an hour. I’ll have a…”

“Here it is Dr. B. Large black coffee with one sugar and a raisin scone.” Niall smiled showing her the takeaway bag with her name on it.

She looked flustered, “How did you…”

“Dr. Fraser came by earlier. He ordered for you thinking you might be...um, in a hurry.”

“You say Dr. Fraser’s here already?” Claire grimaced ashamed of her lateness. It seemed, however, that curiosity got the better of her. Doing her best to look nonchalant, she casually asked, “Um, how did he look? Tired was he?” Dark smudges rimmed her eyes from lack of sleep. Claire would have liked nothing more than to curl up in bed and pull the covers over her head.

“Nay, no’ at all. Dr. Fraser said he worked out in the gym first then ran here. He looked quite hale and hearty actually. A wee bit pink from the cold, but truly well.”

“Of course, he did,” mumbling with annoyance to herself, “the man is made out of steel.”

Opening her overstuffed slouchy bag, she began the ritual of hunting for her wallet.

Cocking his head to the side, Niall pushed the bag toward Claire, “Oh, and he paid for this too.”

“Thank you, Niall and I’ll thank Fraser when I see him.”

Grabbing the bag, she made a mad dash toward her arch-enemy, the lift.

As usual, the ride to her floor became an act of slow torture and unmitigated agony. Once the lift doors opened, she sprinted down the corridor shaking one arm out of her coat while juggling her purse and the bag with its precious contents in the other hand. As she arrived outside her office door, her other arm managed to jiggle out of its sleeve. Finding the key to her office would require a balancing act considering the disordered state of her handbag. Placing her coat between her teeth and the bag containing her coffee and scone between her knees, not the soundest of ideas mind, she rummaged inside her handbag. Of course, the key could not be found being buried in the deep recesses of the purse. Needing a little extra stability, Claire leaned against the doorway. The door swung open making her lose balance and stumble into the room. Her mouth opened, squawking in surprise causing the coat to drop to the floor. Flailing hands pinwheeled around trying to maintain equilibrium rather than land ignominiously on her arse. She managed to keep her footing but lost the grip on her purse and watched as the contents tumbled out spilling haphazardly around the room. By some miracle, the sack with the coffee and scone remained intact. Not a drop of the rejuvenating liquid spilled. Which, of course, was the most important thing.

Surveying the mess she had inadvertently created, Claire concluded it was going to be one of those days. No doubt about it. And to make matters worse, she would have to operate without Fraser. Not to have his strong capable hands there moving in concert with hers, well the thought just soured her stomach. Of course, Pound would be there to help, but he was still in training even if he was Chief Fellow and she would still have to monitor him.

Mumbling words that a lady should not use, Claire picked up her coat and tossed it on a chair. On her hands and knees, she crawled around picking up the scattered bits and bobs shoving them back in the purse.

Standing, she walked toward her desk and saw it. In the middle of the desk stood a small beautifully cut crystal vase filled with forget-me-nots, white heather, and baby’s breath. A handwritten card placed in front of the flowers was written in a distinctive script declaring, Tha gaol agam ort, J. Claire could not read Gàidhlig but she instinctively knew what it meant. Her eyes misted over as she touched the delicate blooms.

How do you do it, Jamie Fraser? You take a terrible day and turn it into something magical.

Claire put on her lab coat, grabbed the bag with her coffee and scone, and walked out closing the door behind her. She strolled toward her nemesis, the lift, smiling and humming happily.

****************

“Aye, that’s right. See how Dr. Beauchamp keeps her field clear. It gives ye an unobstructed view and prevents postoperative infection.” Jamie turned to look at his students and they all dutifully nodded in appreciation.

“Watch how Dr. Beauchamp creates the anastomosis. Then she’ll tie it off. See how she makes her knots! ‘Tis a thing of beauty, is it no’? Perfect technique!” Jamie praised. Peering at his beloved, he saw her eyes crinkle with pleasure and her cheeks blazed red above her mask.

He came alive while he watched her work. As a surgeon, she was smart, talented, and highly sought after. Not only because of her skill but because she deeply cared about her patients. Some colleagues thought her “too involved” or believed her gender would make her“too soft” to become a competent cardiothoracic surgeon. Other critics thought her involvement with her patients would undermine her professionalism.

They had made love. Legs twined together; her head rested on his shoulder while his arm curled around her protectively. Jamie turned on to his side just enough to allow him to see her nakedness gilded by the moonlight. She curled into him clinging to him like a limpet anchored to a rock. Her muscles tense where normally she lay in his arms boneless after their intimacy. Finding a particularly tight knot he massaged it and felt it go slack.

“Is something wrong, my own? Did I no’ please you?” he asked anxiously.

“No, you were wonderful, really, Jamie. It’s just me. I started thinking. I don’t know why. But it’s nothing at all truly. I’m fine, just fine.”

“Sassenach, I ken well enough what ‘I’m fine means. Why dinna ye tell me what’s upsetting ye.” Jamie pulled her closer, tucking Claire’s head under his chin.

“We need to go back soon,” she said in a voice so low as to be almost inaudible. “And I’m so happy here with you,” she looked up into those startling blue eyes. “Then I started thinking about what it took for me to get this far in my career. My residency. My Fellowship. And suddenly I wondered if it was all worth it. I wondered if they were right in the end.”

“Who was right, Sassenach?”

Heaving a heavy sigh, Claire shared her trials as a cardiothoracic fellow. The competition for the position had been fierce. Only the top five candidates were called back to interview for the one open position. Even though she was highly ranked among the candidates for the fellowship, her prospective mentors suggested that perhaps she would be more suited to pediatrics, dermatology, or aesthetics as one of those specialties might suit her female sensibilities better. They had suggested cardiothoracic surgery might be too rigorous for a woman. The hours too demanding for a married woman. What would her husband say? Wouldn’t she like to have a family someday?

“The only qualification I didn’t have was I didn’t have a prick,” she said with some bitterness. She never expected an easy time. A distinct amount of sexism existed in medicine and women were not welcomed with open arms. She worked the worst schedule and given the most complex cases. Evaluations were harsh and judgmental. All done in the hopes that she would quit. Instead, it just made her work harder. And she turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the mockery heaped on her. Claire succeeded where many others failed. She became their first female Chief Fellow; won several prestigious awards for her research. More importantly to Claire, her patients thrived.

“I am beginning to think they were right about some things. There is so much more to life. Much, much more,” she said drowsily. “And I want to have it. All.” Yawning, her eyes fluttered closed, and fell into a contented sleep.

“Aye, mo nighean donn, ye will. I’ll see tae it,” and leaned over kissing her brow.

Truly Claire is a woman of rare spirit, he thought. A woman who overcame many challenges and obstacles from an early age and was better for it. After all, she survived a plane crash that claimed the lives of her parents, lived like a vagabond with her archeologist uncle, and prevailed over a nightmare marriage. Many people would have been crushed under such hardships. But not his Sassenach; she endured. She managed to overcome them and emerge victoriously. A woman of rare spirit indeed. And one who deserved to be loved and loved well.

Jamie’s narrative kept pace with Claire’s every movement. Occasionally, he fired off questions at various intervals to his followers which they answered to his satisfaction. They remained throughout the entire procedure until skin closure finished and the patient made ready for transfer to the CSICU.

“Dr. Pound will accompany the patient to their room and start to write the postoperative orders. Please go with him. I will meet you over there.”

“Dr. Beauchamp, a word if ye please about yer next case,” called Jamie.

“Of course, Dr. Fraser. I would be delighted.”

The doctors exited the operating room on the pretext of being nothing more than two colleagues engaged in a discussion about a patient scheduled for surgery that afternoon. They approached an out-of-the-way corridor between the OR and the CSICU stealing down the passageway like two thieves in the night. Jamie’s head spun around looking for anyone who might have observed them. Deciding that they had not been seen, he seized her hand and pulled her into a little-used utility room. He locked the door behind them and drew her close, kissing her thoroughly.

“I missed ye.”

Claire cuddled into him resting her head on his chest. “I missed you too.”

Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck. “Come here,” she whispered as she tugged his head down toward her.

Claire kissed him once, then twice.

“No’ that I’m complaining but what’s that for?”

“One was for the coffee, the other was for the scone. This one,” her voice turned provocative, “is for the flowers.” Her mouth latched onto his giving him a proper thank you kiss. The kiss, a searing flame, igniting them like a match to dry kindling. It left them both breathless and wanting for more.

She pressed firmly against him. He could feel her nipples rigid and taut through the thin scrub top. He knew she felt him; his hardness pressed against her body. If only I were home with her I’d carry her off to bed. This thought, naturally, made things much worse for him.

“How did you manage it?” she asked, her voice a sultry husky tone.

“Ewan gets the credit.”

“Be sure to thank him for me.” Claire crushed her body closer to his taking in his warmth. She buried he nose against him absorbing his smell. His scent was masculine, with the tang of antiseptic and just a dash of laundry starch hovering around him. Some things completely stirred her soul.

Clearing his throat, Jamie asked in a shaky voice, “Will ye, ah, will ye… Christ Claire, I canna think with ye so close tae me. Will ye take yer lunch with me?”

“Yes,” she said breathily.

“Why don’t ye go dictate yer op notes while on check on Pound? I’ll meet ye in about thirty minutes.”

“That’s a fine idea,” she leaned forward giving him a quick kiss. “Don’t be late.”

Jamie opened the door enough to peek out and found the corridor remained empty.

“Ye go first, I’ll follow after ye shortly.”

Claire slipped through the door while Jamie watched as she left. He noticed a little extra sway to her hips as she walked away. Damn little vixen. She did it on purpose. Sighing, he closed the door and leaned his head against it. He would have a wait a minute or two until his “problem” disappeared. It was becoming truly uncomfortable as he sought to adjust himself. “She’ll be the death of me yet.”

***********************

Walking into the CSICU after completing a successful surgery always filled Jamie with a certain satisfaction. He felt overjoyed that he and Claire helped patients return to their life, their work, their family, and without pain. He would tell patients, when he first met them, that this surgery was “enabling”. It would enable them to return to the life they wanted and not become a bystander.

With that thought in mind and a large grin on his face, Jamie swiped his badge across the electronic keypad granting him entrance into the Unit. The sounds of controlled chaos greeted him, voices raised, ventilators whooshing delivering needed oxygen, the soft beeping of heart monitors keeping time with healing hearts, IV pumps clicking as they delivered medication critical to the patient’s recovery.

He walked briskly toward the nurses’ station with gladness in his heart for he was back where he belonged.

“Fiona, ‘tis good tae see ye. How have ye been?” he inquired of the Unit’s charge nurse.

With the sound of his voice all conversation, all activity ceased, and every eye fastened onto him. The silence in the room would have been deafening if not for the continued mechanical sounds. Jamie became keenly aware of the absence of sound and the staff rooted in position. And just as quickly as it started it ended with activity resuming at its normal pace.

Fiona MacGowen kept her eyes glued to her computer screen, deliberately not making direct eye contact with the doctor. “Oh just braw, Dr. Fraser, just braw. Dr. Beauchamp’s patient is in Room 10 with Dr. Pound, Elspeth, and Iona getting him settled,” she said with her lips slightly turning up in a smile. “They’ll be waiting on ye.”

“Thank ye, Fiona. I’ll go and see how they are getting along.”

Jamie walked away, stopped, and turned back to look at Fiona once more. He thought her behavior a bit strange. Generally, one would say Fiona was a gregarious person with the reputation of being a chatterbox. Today, however, she acted more like a nun under a vow of silence. But to be honest, as he gazed around the Unit once more, everyone’s behavior seemed strange. And he had yet figured out what to make of it.

As Jamie approached the room the sounds of busyness gave the impression of a beehive humming with activity. As he stepped into the entryway, activity ceased. Again, all that remained was the soft mechanical sounds made by the life-sustaining equipment.

Elspeth stood quite still and uttered a little gasp. Meanwhile, Iona took a step back bumping into the ventilator; her eyes round with surprise. Dr. Pound cleared his throat glaring at the two nurses. They resumed their usual pleasant expressions with lips curling up into crooked smiles.

Jamie looked at the three of them thinking his team had gone daft.

“‘Tis good to have ye back Dr. Fraser,” declared the Fellow. “The ladies and I were just finishing getting Mr. MacNichol set up.”

Pound grabbed one of the portable workstations and began reviewing the patient’s current vitals as well as the orders he had written with the surgeon. They discussed the ventilator’s and pacemaker’s current settings, and when to call Dr. Beauchamp with any changes to her patient.

“Well-done, well-done. Mr. MacNichol is in very capable hands,” he smiled at his team. “I am off to lunch. Ye ken how to reach Dr. Beauchamp or me.”

Jamie walked out of the room and on impulse turned back to see the three heads buried in whispered conversation. He shook his head and left thinking about having lunch with Claire wanting to discuss the staff’s strange behavior with her.

Preoccupied with his thoughts, Jamie walked smack into his cousin Rupert almost knocking him down. Extending his arm quickly he caught his cousin by the shoulder steadying him.

“Sorry about that Rup. Doing a bit of wool-gathering I suppose.”

“Oy must be something awfully important to have ye so distracted.”

“I promised Claire I would have lunch with her and I dinna want tae be late.”

“Tae tell ye the truth, I am on my way tae find Geillis. We’re supposed to have a bite together too. Suppose ye two join us, aye?” He grinned broadly, “Twill be interesting to see if the plan

succeeded.”

“Sounds like a good idea cuz,” Jamie clapped an arm around Rupert’s shoulder as they strode off in search of the lasses.

************************************

Seated at one of the dictation corrals, Claire began her op notes. Her cardiac anesthesiologist, Geillis Duncan took the hutch next to her.

Dr. Duncan was a beautiful woman, with a trim figure, flaming red hair, and eyes as green as spring grass.

“Claire, ‘tis good tae have ye back. I’m sorry I dinna have much of a chance tae speak with ye this morning before the case. Did ye enjoy the conference?” Dr. Duncan gave Claire a sly side-long look.

“Wouldn’t you know it, Boston had a blizzard and the speakers weren’t able to make it.”

“No. What a shame. Ye flew all that way for nothing,” she sympathized.

“Too bad, right? Dr. Fraser and I were looking forward to hearing about those peripherally inserted heart valves.”

“Aye, but ye had the fox cub with ye. Perhaps it wasna so bad after all,” she leaned over jabbing Claire in the side. “Did ye maybe get tae share a room and have a go at him between the sheets, um?” She gave Claire a wicked smile. “I ken if I was snowed in with him, I would.

“Geillis!” Claire swore. She blushed from her hair roots to her toes.

Geillis gave her a sly smug smile. “After all, Georges X is an exclusive luxury hotel. Verra private, and verra, verra discrete. Or so I’ve heard,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “They have those flowers, all over the place. What are they? Orchids? she asked while tapping her nail against her white teeth feigning an attempt at recalling. I understand the lobby is decorated with a fortune in artwork. The rooms are quite grand, are they no’, with a fireplace, champagne, chocolate-dipped strawberries, fine whiskey. And I hear the bed is big enough to sleep an entire family. How could ye no’ entice him into yer bed, is what I want tae know?”

Claire glared at her friend, “What I want to know is how you know I stayed at Georges X. I know I never told you.”

Geillis chuckled nervously, “Why of course ye did. How else would I ken that?” Geillis became uncomfortable under Claire’s scrutiny.

“Spill it, Duncan. You know more than you’re telling.”

Geillis affected a look of innocence, “I swear tae ye Claire, I dinna ken anything.” She nervously scanned the area looking for any means of escape from further questioning. Her eyes latched on to Dr. Rupert MacKenzie ambling directly toward her, along with Jamie. “I need tae go. I promised tae meet Rupert for lunch. See ye later, Claire.”

Reaching out, Claire grasped Geillis by the forearm, “That’s a load of rubbish and you know it. I suspected there was something dodgy about that trip right from the beginning. I need answers and you have them, Duncan. You’re coming with me.”

************************************

The two male surgeons walked amicably through the corridor talking and laughing as Rupert entertained Jamie with tales of hospital gossip. As they approached the physician workstation, they noticed a loud commotion that seemed to be attracting a crowd. Jamie wondered what caused the kerfuffle this time. Most such squabbles centered around obtaining a certain OR room or available time for surgery. This behavior bordered on the ridiculous in his opinion.

As the men came closer to the center of the fray, they saw two female doctors engaged in a struggle. One of them had wild brown curls bouncing around her head. Claire? The second doctor had hair the color of flame. That head of hair belonged to the fiery Geillis Duncan. He quickened his pace needing to reach Claire.

“Claire! Claire,” he called, “What’s amiss?”

“‘Claire’ he calls her now. No’ Dr. Beauchamp,” Geillis snorted.

Claire’s posture had all the hallmarks of frustration and anger as she tried to drag her colleague toward the doctor’s lounge.

Claire’s eyes locked on Jamie, “It seems that Dr. Duncan knows a great deal about our trip. Particularly where we stayed and I want to know how.”

Rupert took Geillis firmly by the elbow and leaned over to hotly whisper in her ear, “Wha’ have ye done woman!?”

Cold green eyes glared fixedly up at him disliking his insinuation. “I may have spilled a bit of tea is all,” she said, wrenching her arm free of his grip.

“Sounds more like ye spilled the whole damn pot,” he growled at her. “Ye ken they were never supposed to find out, at least no’ this way. We were supposed to tell them gentle like. Now what?”

Dr. Duncan gave her shoulders the tiniest of shrugs. “Dinna fash. We’ll think of something,” and walked toward the lounge.

He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, “Aye, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

Rupert held the lounge door open for his co-conspirator trying to usher her quietly into the room. Geillis, however, turned to observe Jamie and Claire huddled deep in discussion.

“Are ye both going to stand there all day blethering, or are ye coming? I’m hungry and I want my lunch.” she snapped.

The crowd lingered about waiting for the fuse to be lit and the fireworks to begin. Dr. Duncan had a very volatile reputation easily flying into pieces like an unstable explosive device. Whereas, Dr. Beauchamp was a genial person, kind and caring. But, the one thing she was not was a meek individual. When pushed beyond her tolerance limits, she could be as ruthless as a she-wolf defending her pups.

Jamie placed his hand firmly on the small of Claire’s back giving her a little nudge forward. The crowd began to murmur heads close in a whispered discussion, Some rudely pointed a finger at his hand on her back, while others outright stared. Jamie flushed. He should have known such an intimate placement of his hand would draw attention. They saw he claimed her. Not knowing how Claire would feel about this public display, he thought he needed to break up this crowd before someone accidentally said something.

“Show’s over everyone. Just a private meeting among friends. Nothing tae see here. I’m sure ye all have some work tae do. Patients are waiting for ye. Go on with ye.” Jamie said dismissing the loitering group.

Following behind Claire, Jamie entered the room and shut the door.

Claire wanted to get to the bottom of things quickly and stormed up to her colleague in a blazing fury. “Alright Duncan, spill what you know.”

“I already told ye. I dinna ken anything about ye trip. As I said either you or Jamie must have mentioned where ye were staying. Beyond that, I dinna ken anything.”

Jamie looked at Claire and shook his head signifying that he had never mentioned the hotel to anyone.

“Um-hm. Since when does this institution send a chauffeured car to pick up two staff surgeons? For the Chief certainly but not for ordinary staff personnel. And we’re supposed to believe that the hospital made five-star accommodations with all expenses paid for us? Hmm? I think not. Did I not say so, Jamie?”

“Aye, ye did. Several times.”

“Claire began to pace while considering the other strange occurrences surrounding their trip.

“And what about my clothes? I most certainly did not pack away that nightgown. It was a mere scrap of silk and lace. And that lingerie! Those panties and bras were not something I would have packed for a conference trip.”

“I’ll bet he enjoyed it,” Geillis muttered under her breath a sly grin curling up on her lips lighting up her face.

Jamie leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, staring intensely at the female doctor, “I am inclined tae agree with Dr. Beauchamp that the circumstances surrounding our trip tae Boston were, tae say the least, most unusual. I also had clothes in my suitcase that I ken I dinna pack and I’m wondering how they got there. Can ye shed any light on this mystery?”

As Jamie questioned Geillis, an acrid odor caught Claire’s attention. Being a very astute doctor, she was used to the various malodors emitted by humans and knew what they meant. She raised her nose into the air and sniffed delicately. The pungent smell seemed to be coming from the direction of Rupert. A light sheen of sweat glossed over his forehead and there was a distinctive musky odor about him. Fear. Anxiety. Her intense scrutiny seemed to worsen whatever internal conflict plaguing him. Unable to withstand the intensity of her stare, Rupert turned away not wanting to meet her eyes.

Claire jabbed Jamie in his side with her elbow gaining his attention.

“I think Rupert has something to add to this conversation.”

Jamie walked over to his cousin and stared at him intently. Rupert took a few steps back, feeling the unconscious need to put some distance between them.

“Aye, I think yer right. Rupert, ye look like ye have something ye’d like tae get off yer chest. Out with it man.”

Deciding that the best defense is a good offense, Rupert widened his stance and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I dinna ken what yer talking about Jamie lad. As the lady said, I dinna ken anything about yer trip either. And dinna ask if I ken anything about how yer jeans, duck boots, and down jacket got into yer suitcase,” he replied, a self-satisfied look plastered across his face.

“Ye great dunderheid! Do ye ken what ye said?! Ye just gave it away,” Geillis shouted giving him a slap upside his head. “And ye were worried about what I said.”

“Wha’ are ye talking ab…” He had that startled look that one has when they realize they stuck their foot in their mouth. “Oh! Oh, shite.”

“Ye just admitted that ye changed Jamie’s clothes in his suitcase.”

“Dinna blame me for everything. You changed Claire’s clothes,” Rupert countered.

The two combatants escalated the argument going at each other nose to nose, eyeball to eyeball, tooth, fang, and claw.

“And whose ideas was this? Mine. Who made the hotel arrangements and spoke tae Joe Silverberg in Texas to get him on board with the plan should one of them call to discuss the meeting?” Geillis boasted as she swung her hair over her shoulder. A dreamy look took over her as she recalled the conversation with Dr. Silverberg. “I invited him to come to Scotland, ye ken. Told him I would show him the sights and a good time. Said he may take me up on that too.”

“Mmphm, so ye did,” Rupert grumbled with annoyance. He did not like the suggestion of Geillis showing the American surgeon a good time. “Ye forget I made the plane arrangements and got Kenny to print up the fake conference brochure. And who enlisted their secretary’s help to slip the vacation request under the Chief’s nose and have him sign it? Cost me a night out as payment for that,” Rupert griped.

The two doctors continued in their game of one-up-manship, oblivious to Jamie and Claire standing in the room.

Unable to take the bickering anymore, Jamie bellowed, “Haud yer weesht!!!”

Geillis and Rupert looked up in bewilderment having forgotten where they were and that Jamie and Claire stood listening.

“Do ye two realize that what ye did invaded our privacy? That ye had no right to interfere in our lives?” Jamie growled.

“So, that’s it then? The whole thing was a setup, some sort of game? None of this was real? ” Claire said as she looked at Jamie.

“I beg tae differ, hen,” Gellis walked over her expression softening and gently took hold of Claire’s hand, “it’s as real as it can get. We all saw the lovesick eyes, the secret peeks ye two gave each other, and the way ye fuss over each other. If two people were meant to be together it’s ye two. We just nudged things along is all, ” said Geillis.

“Aye, yer right,” Rupert chimed in. “‘Tis the truth that NO one could take watching ye two anymore. The whole hospital wanted tae see ye together.” Rupert smiled at Claire. He quickly turned his vexation on his cousin. “And if Fraser here was no’ going tae be a man about it and make the first move, well by God someone had tae,” he snarled at Jamie. “What are ye then, cuz, a man or a moose?”

Jamie ran his hand through his hair and rolled his shoulders as if trying to loosen his shirt that had suddenly become too tight. A shy crooked smile flashed over his face; his lip curling up on one side.

“Aye, yer right. I, ah, I… Well, tae tell the truth, I am a bit of a coward. Ye ken, I dinna think um, I dinna know if Claire felt the same about me.” Jamie turned and looked deeply in Claire’s eyes, “I was afraid tae lose ye. If being yer friend would be the best of it, then that would have been enough.”

“I was afraid of losing you too, Jamie. I’ve had feelings for you right from the start. Only now do I dare to admit them,” Claire turned toward Rupert and Geillis giving them a look of gratitude. Moving closer, placing her hands on his chest. “I love you and I always will.” Her arms went up around his neck, standing on tiptoe, she leaned in, and kissed him soundly.

The kiss finally ended, each blushing from making a display of themselves.

Geillis stood there making gagging noises as she watched their affection. Rupert looked at Geillis with a smirk on his face.

“What’s the matter, lass, jealous?” Rupert said with a grin on his face.

“Certainly not,” Geillis waved off that idea with a flip of her hand and turned away.

“Well then, ye won't be minding this. I've wanted tae do this for a long time.” Rupert turned her around, took her in his arms, and kissed her.

“And I dinna want tae hear about ye showing any other men a good time, either.” He gave her a look that told her he would not brook no for an answer.

Geillis, looking dazed readily agreed.

Jamie coughed loudly, reminding the other couple they were not alone.

Wrapping his arm around Claire and pulling her into his side, Jamie smiled at their friends, “We want to thank ye, both, for bringing us together. We are truly grateful.”

Claire nodded in agreement, forgetting about her anger with the unorthodox methods they used to bring her the love of her life.

“Since we are all telling the truth,” Rupert reluctantly admitted, “there’s a wee bit more to it.” “We were not the only ones involved in this. When other staff members heard what we about they wanted tae be part of it. And so...”

“And so everyone began to contribute money tae help pay for the trip. So that’s how ye had such fine accommodations and such.” Geillis huffed, “We told ye that people could no longer stand tae look at ye. They wanted ye two as a couple, no’ apart. Now can we stop havering about and get some lunch? My wame is empty. Besides, everyone is waiting in the canteen tae see ye both.”

“Oh, God,” Claire groaned as she grew red and buried her face in Jamie’s chest.

Jamie chuckled and rubbed her back in long soothing strokes.

“Are ye ready then, Sassenach? Let’s go give these good people their money’s worth,” he grinned.

“Yes. We should thank them all, don’t you think?” Claire replied, running her fingers through her hair trying to tame her wayward curls.

“Ye look fine, lass,” he bent to kiss her gently on the cheek and took hold of her hand.

Rupert and Geillis led the way, laughing and talking. Claire and Jamie walked behind them holding hands. Nerves were getting the best of her and her hands became sweaty. She surreptitiously wiped her free hand on the scrub pant leg.

“Dinna fash. Ye’ve faced worse and ye’ll no’ be doing this alone. We’ll face them as one.”

One.

ONE, he said. But. What did that exactly mean?

“What do you mean by that? Being one?” She held her breath waiting for an answer.

Jamie frowned, crease lines set upon his forehead.

“It’s like I’ve kent ye my whole life, even before that, if that’s possible. I mean yer part of me. I ken that sounds crazy, but I…”

“I know what you mean, Jamie. I feel the same way too. It’s hard to explain, but it’s there.”

“Aye, lass, it’s most definitely there.”

Approaching the canteen seemed a surreal experience. Normally, one would call the dining hall a lively place, with the sounds of laughter, chatter, mixed with the scrape of dinnerware against plates. Today seemed different. A thrum of excitement and perhaps expectation filled the air as if waiting for something to happen. As Jamie and Claire approached the door a steady vibration emanated from its core.

Geillis waved them back signaling she and Rupert would enter first. Rupert lifted his hand spreading his fingers indicating they should wait five minutes before entering. Jamie nodded and Rupert and Geillis entered the dining room.

Jamie and Claire waited in companionable silence. Who would think that five minutes could feel like an eternity? But it did.

Jamie looked at his watch; it was time.

“Are ye ready, Sassenach?”

“Je suis prest,” she acknowledged.

Their fingers reached out seeking their mate bonded the two hearts and souls into one. Turning they gave each other a nod and walked through the door only to meet with absolute silence.

All eyes turned upon them and it became unnerving. Claire inched closer to Jamie, if that was even possible, drawing on his strength.

Then the cheers began along with the whistles and applause. Someone from the back of the room called out, “It’s about time, Fraser.”

“Och why don’t ye just give us a bit of peace, aye?” came his laughing response.

They were rushed by a mob of well-wishers. Men clapped Jamie on the back wishing him well. Others made jokes, at his expense, about his manliness for taking so long.

The women embraced Claire telling her how happy they were for her. Some gave her sly looks while others made off-color jokes causing her to blush.

Eventually, people began to amble back to their tables and lunch, and the couple discovered themselves alone. Finding a table in an out-of-the-way corner, they sat to eat.

“I guess we are out as a couple officially. It’s no’ how I would have wished it tae become common knowledge, but…” Jamie shrugged. “They are good people and they meant well.”

Claire nodded in agreement as she moved her salad around on the plate not eating.

“It’s a strange feeling. Knowing that someone orchestrated this relationship. I know how this will sound, but I feel like this happened to me, to us before.”

Claire looked up at Jamie, eyes pleading for understanding.

“Forget what I said, it’s silly.” She stabbed a particularly tender piece of lettuce and ate it.

“Nay Sassenach, it’s no’ silly at all. I feel it too. It’s as if I am drawn to ye as if I kent ye from another lifetime. Like we were meant to be together, bonded if ye like.”

“That’s it, exactly.” Claire looked at him with a sense of relief. Looking up, she noticed the clock on the wall, reading 12:55 PM.

“Damn, we have to go. We’ll barely make it in time for Dr. de Gascogne’s appointment for your hand.”

Jamie muttered something in Gàidhlig which Claire really didn’t want a translation of.

“I dinna ken why everyone is making such a fuss over my hand. It doesna hurt and it will heal in a few more weeks.”

Claire blew out a breath of exasperation, “You know very well why Dr. Fraser. Your one of the best cardiac surgeons in all of Scotland. Well, next to me you are,” she said teasingly. Besides, the hospital needs you, your patients need you but most of all I need you. So that’s why.”

“I ken, but I dinna like being fussed over.”

“Yes, I know; you’re a doctor and doctors make terrible patients. You think you’re supposed to do the healing and don’t like when you need help,” Claire said with a raised eyebrow. “Now, let’s get your hand attended to, shall we?”

They hurried through the corridors, making it to the appointment with seconds to spare. Jamie was whisked off for X-Rays then he and Claire were escorted to an exam room. He sat on the examination bed while Claire took the chair next to him awaiting Dr. de Gascogne’s appearance.

Jamie studiously inspected an anatomical chart of the hand and wrist hanging on the wall in the room.

“Ye said ye need me,” he said almost inaudibly. “Do ye mean as yer surgical partner or as something more?

Claire noticed him drumming his fingers on his thigh anxiously.

“I need you, Jamie, in every sense of the word. As my partner, my friend, my lover, my everything. I. Need. You.” Claire stood and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her forehead to his.

“Aye, weel I wanted to make sure, is all. Yer the prettiest lass in the hospital. Any man would want tae be with ye,” and gave her a shy smile.

“Jamie Fraser, you say the most…” There was a knock on the door, the knob turned and Dr. de Gascogne entered the room finding the lovers locked in an embrace.

She looked at the two, raised an eyebrow at Jamie’s hands on Claire’s hips, “Un jour, quelqu'un entrera dans votre vie et vous fera comprendre pourquoi cela n'a jamais fonctionné avec quelqu'un d'autre, mes chers. Et il semble que vous ayez. I believe congratulations are in order. My secretary tells me you have announced that you are a couple. You two made quite a stir in the dining hall?”

Claire jumped away returning to her seat cheeks and nose bright red. While Jamie’s ears went pink.

“Well, um, ah, yes. Thank you. I believe that we made quite a spectacle of ourselves and continue to do so, it seems,” Claire replied mortified having been caught.

“Ah, mon chéri never be ashamed to show that you are in love. We are born of love and seek out love. Many have sacrificed greatly for love even died for it. It truly is a treasure to enjoy. No?” Dr. de Gascogne said with a smile. “Now to business.”

Dr. de Gascogne opened the electronic medical record and began her inquiry. Jamie explained how he injured his hand - twice - causing Dr. de Gascogne to raise her eyebrows in total disbelief.

She reviewed the X-Rays; then removed the splints. She moved and wiggled the fingers finding them healing well and moving to her satisfaction. The splints were replaced and Jamie was dismissed with a caution not to hit any more people or trees. She instructed him to see her again in one month for a further follow-up.

The two surgeons graciously thanked Dr. de Gascogne for her time and casually left the examination room. As soon as they could not be seen, they bolted toward the operating suites as quickly as they could eager to leave behind another awkward situation.

The remainder of the afternoon went on as planned. Claire completed her second surgical procedure without incident. Jamie’s students doggedly followed him from place to place. Finally, the day came to an end. The surgeons tiredly returned to their offices, checked in for urgent messages and for their schedule for the next day. Each too exhausted to do much of anything else, except want the comfort of a bed, chose to go home. It was a short walk to Claire’s flat from the hospital and Jamie escorted her home. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she leaned into him. They spoke of this and that sharing different events of their day. Arriving at Claire’s flat, they walked up the stairs toward the front door. Jamie stood one step lower than Claire allowing them to be of an equal height.

A wave of fatigue washed over her, but Claire did not want Jamie to leave despite her tiredness.

“Would you like to come up? I have some soup in the fridge. Mrs. Bug made it. She’s quite the cook. Won’t take more than a moment to heat up. Or maybe a glass of wine or a dram? To help unwind?” she said looking at him hopefully.

He unzipped both their jackets and pulled her into the depth of his wrapping the jacket around her. He wanted her close to him and to share his warmth with her.

“Mo chridhe, yer completely knackered and ye need yer rest. If I come up with ye, ye ken neither of us will get any sleep,” he said pressing himself against her his desire completely apparent. “It’s no’ that I dinna want tae, but it wouldna do tae have ye fall asleep tomorrow during yer procedures.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve worked with little sleep, just like you have, during residency and fellowship,” she pouted.

“Aye, but ye need to set an example for the students and fellows. And what about yer patients? They need Dr. Beauchamp at her best. They’re counting on ye.”

Claire luxuriated in the radiant heat of his body and the knowledge that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. But, she still did not want him to leave. For to be alone with Jamie was bliss but to be alone was, well, to be alone. She racked her fatigued brain for anything that would keep Jamie with her. She blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “I love you.”

“I ken ye do, mo nighean donn. I feel it every time ye touch me,” Jamie took her hand tenderly placing a kiss on her palm. Gently, he folded her fingers over to seal his kiss against her skin. “And when ye kiss me,” he brushed his lips over hers. “Most of all, when ye lie with me. I ken the truth of it in our lovemaking,” he pulled her even closer to him until no space existed between their bodies. “Woman, ye’re like a live wire. Yer body fairly pulses with yer love and it flows out from you into me. It’s no’ just lust between us. ‘Tis love that brought us together and binds our souls. ‘Tis a thing that I never knew I wanted or needed until I found ye,” his hand moved to cup her face.

“It’s the same for me. I never knew it could be like this. Especially, after Frank. I thought all relationships would end up like that one. I see how foolish I had been to keep myself closed. To close my heart from love. If not for this trip, this may have never happened. We may have never happened.”

“Mo leannan, I would have found ye somehow. Whether I found ye now or even if I had to wait two hundred years to find ye, I’d find ye. We are meant to be together. I ken it.” His forehead pressed to hers each inhaling the other’s breath.

It began to rain lightly; a mizzle he had once called it. Tiny droplets of water clung to his hair. In the light of the streetlamp, his hair looked like a ruby adorned with sparkling diamonds.

They stood locked in an embrace for several moments; neither truly wanting to part from the other.

“Sassenach,” he whispered into her ear, “go on up. Ye need yer rest. Yer poor wee eyes are closing and there are dark smudges around them. Go on then. I’ll see ye tomorrow.”

He kissed her on the forehead and she nodded her head in agreement. Claire walked up the last two steps and slid the key into the lock of the front door. She turned to watch Jamie as he disappeared into the night walking toward his home and it occurred to her that this was just the beginning of their life and of their story.

The End - Part I

Tha gaol agam ort: I love you. (As if you didn’t know already.)

Anastomosis: An anastomosis is a surgical connection between two structures. It usually means a connection that is created between tubular structures, such as blood vessels or loops of the intestine.

CSICU/Unit: Cardiac Surgical ICU.

Blatherer: Chatterbox.

Dunderheid: An idiot, a stupid person.

Haud yer weesht: Be quiet.

Moose: mouse

Un jour, quelqu'un entrera dans votre vie et vous fera comprendre pourquoi cela n'a jamais fonctionné avec quelqu'un d'autre, mes chers. Et il semble que vous ayez.: One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else, my dears. And it seems that you have. (Google translation. If it’s wrong I apologise.) The quote is attributed to anonymous.

Mo nighean donn: My brown-haired lass

Mo leannan: Darling

Mizzle: A light rain

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This Jamie and Claire will return. When I don't know. I also have several other stories in various stages of completion sitting in my files. I would like to give them a little attention too. And I still need to get through all the other stuff going on in my life.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading. 🧡🧡🧡🧡

[boxofbadaddiction]

All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You

Song Inspired

Fred Weasley x Reader

George Weasley x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Sexual References. Swearing. War. Angst with a happy ending.

War was fast approaching. People were running scared, others disappearing at random. Everyone was on edge and looking for something, anything, to bring comfort. Something to distract themselves, even if only for a moment, from the horror of their reality.

For [Y/N] and Fred, that comfort was found in one another.

The night before the battle saw members of the Order organising, coming together to discuss possible strategies in the fight to come. Following a particularly gut wrenching speech from Lupin about "preparing for the inevitable", which everyone knew from the look of his eyes he meant the unavoidable deaths that will occur, the room fell silent.

Fred and [Y/N] turned their attention to one another as if in slow motion. Frightened and teary-eyed expressions mirrored by the other. It was the first time she had ever seen him so vulnerable. As members began to disperse Fred reached his hand out for her to take. Not a word was spoken as the two ascended the staircase of the home currently being used as Headquarters for the Order, finding refuge in a room Fred had occupied for the past three nights.

Releasing her grip on his hand [Y/N] entered the dimly lit space first as Fred closed the door gently behind him, leaning his weight back against it. He watched her as she turned back to meet his gaze.

[Y/N]s chest began to rise and fall as panicked breaths took over, shoulders shuddering as tears pooled in the corner of her eyes. Appearing as the embodiment of sorrow itself. Freds head fell to the side sadly as a defeated breath escaped his throat. Heart aching at the sight.

In an instant the two were closing the space between them, lips crashing in a frantic kiss. His hands came to the nape of her neck and hers bunched in the fabric of his shirts collar.

Tongues entwining hungrily as their hands began to roam the others body, discarding various articles of clothing in their wake.

Slowly stepping backwards [Y/N] began blindly leading them towards the bed, stopping momentarily to kick away their pants that'd slung around their ankles.

Fred seized the moment to take control, lifting [Y/N] with a firm grip to her ass from the ground. Her legs immediately wrapping around his waist and arms wrapping around his neck. Fred collapsed the pair onto the bed hovering mere millimetres above her as they proceeded to rid the other of their final items of clothing.

Freds mouth traced her entire body as if mapping her every detail with his lips.

Their bodies entwined and writhed together in perfect sync. Soft moans, gasping breaths and declarations of love filled the thick air. They cherished every movement, every taste and sound shared by the other as if they had an eternity to do so. Though it very well felt like nothing more than borrowed time.

That night suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago as [Y/N] stood pale and cold before the gathered Weasley family who mourned the loss of their son, brother and best friend. Whilst she denied the fate of her lover laid before her.

Soft gasps and declarations of her lost love were the only sounds to peirce the thick polluted air as she crumpled in front of his body. Tears pouring from her eyes at the sight.

The moment replayed in her mind every second of her days. His lifeless form plaguing more than just her dreams. It plagued her entire existence. It was too much to bare. Not knowing where to turn next [Y/N] responded in the only way she could think to.

She ran.

There was nothing left for her there. Nothing but heartache and pain and the tormenting memory of what had once been. She left for her home country, with no intention of ever returning.

But fate had other ideas.

11 years later found [Y/N] wandering the streets of Diagon Alley. It was just as it always had been, before the war. Shops bustling with the life of families searching for their various books and essentials for the beginning of a new school year. She were delighted to see so many of the original stores that were destroyed during the second war restored to their former grandeur. As she strolled through the crowed street gazing through the display windows, she was brought back to her old days. Back to all those school years when she'd come to collect her books and supplies. Mind running with itself through the many memories of her youth blissfully unaware of the busy bodies of people around.

Until...

"[Y/N]?!" a tall redheaded man barrelled through the street towards her.

"George?!" She found herself suddenly wrapped tight within his arms, it felt just like it always had. It felt warm and safe. Like being home. [Y/N] hadn't seen him since the war. She hadn't seen anyone. Right now she were struggling to see reason why, well more how, she'd stayed away. God, had she always missed him this badly?

"What are you doing here?" [Y/N] asked, finally breaking the hug though somewhat reluctantly.

"Well, the shop's back up and running so I'm living down the street again. It's my day off though so I'm out scoping for new ideas." He said smiling. "But what about you? I haven't seen you in years now suddenly you're here, what gives [Y/L/N]?" He playfully pushed her shoulder.

"I'm shopping. No better place to after all" the girl winked.

Laughing he kept looking at her like she'd come back from the dead. Though given the way she had disappeared after the Battle I guess to him it was like she had.

"Merlin, there's so many questions on my mind right now. Just...oh God, how have you been? Where Have you been!?" His eyes were searching her face. For what, she didn't know.

"Oh ah...well I mean, I've been okay. I moved back home after...everything." her expression was solem at the memory of the war. His, sympathetic and understanding.

"Ya know" he took a step closer to his old friend "last I checked that 'home' you always talked about was in a different bloody country! So you obviously aren't here just 'shopping'." She was unable to control the blush which spread across her features, brought on by the mischief he had painted over his face, trying to goad the truth from her. She bit her lip trying to hold back a smile. Damn that Weasley charm!

"So, come on, don't keep me hanging here. What have you been up to?"

"Well actually I ah..."

"MUM!"

Both turned in the direction of the call from a young boy, one with incredible [Y/E/C] eyes and firey red hair.

"MUM! did you see they have the new Windbreak on display in Quality Quidditch Supplies!?"

"No, I didn't sweety" she could feel Georges eyes on the both of them but was too scared to face him. Knowing the question that was going to be on his face when she did.

"Can I go to the Magical Menagerie now to pick my Owl?"

"Of course. I'll meet you there shortly, be safe."

The boy hurried off through the busy crowd once more. Disappearing from sight.

[Y/N] turned slowly back to see George staring after her son. Mouth agape, twitching slightly as he tries to find the words to say something. Anything. It can't be? He looked so much like...surely that's not...

"George?" She asked tentatively reaching slowly to touch his arm.

He shook his head trying to break free of his trance.

"So you're ah...you're a mother. Wow that's...how old is he?" He turned his gaze to hers.

Heart beating fast in her chest a tightness formed in her throat.

Offering a weak smile as her eyes start to turn red she replied, "He'll be 11 in a few short months. He just received his Hogwarts letter."

"Wow that's..." the pieces were falling into place behind his eyes as he looks back to where the young boy had ran off. "11?" He turns back to the mother, disbelief and a little anger evident all through his expression.

"George..." she took a step toward him but he moved away from the touch.

"[Y/N], tell me he's not..."

Tears were filling her eyes now as she noticed his had begun to turn just as red. Fighting back tears. He knows the answer, aside from the eyes, he was the spitting image of his father. Of himself. But he still needs to ask.

"He is, George." Tears finally spilling over and rolling down her cheek she watched him, chest aching at the confession.

"11 years and you never thought to tell us? You never thought I'd...that'd we'd...for Merlin's sake, [Y/N]! He's.." over come with emotion George's breathing had become rapid. He's angry and panicking he keeps looking between her and where the boy ran to. He's crying, running his hands frantically through his hair as he desperately tries to make some sense of this situation. 11 years. For 11 years he's had a nephew. For 11 years she hid the truth from his family. For 11 years she hid the last remaining part of Fred from them. From him. How can he begin to process this?

"George, please, I'm so sorry I didn't...I couldn't..." she were clinging to any excuse that rushed through her head. Fighting for a reason good enough to justify the decision not to tell anyone, but she couldn't. She knew she was wrong, and now could see just how badly, it was all over George. In his tears and the whites of his knuckles and the emotion fighting on his breath. She'd never even been able to convince herself after more than a decade of arguing between heart and mind. So how could she possibly convince him now?

"I'm sorry, I panicked! I thought it was the right thing at the time!" Not a lie, but definitely not a good enough defence.

"The war was over, Fred was gone and I found out I was pregnant only a week later. What was I supposed to do!?"

"You were supposed to trust us!" George was nothing but angry now. He was looking at her with such rage in his eyes it terrified her. He began shouting as he approached. [Y/N] was shaking and walking backwards.

"You were supposed to know that we're family! We always had been, even before you had his baby. We would have helped you. Cared for you. Cared for him! I mean for Gods sake [Y/N] he's the only piece of Fred left on this fucking planet and you hid him from us!"

"George please, I'm so sorry just...just please stop yelling." Her hands were out in defence as she gazed over to the group of passers by whom had stopped to view the scene currently unfolding before them. People were watching, silently asking if she needed help. He looked around, realising he needed to calm himself. She grabbed his hand as he looked away, trying to control his breathing. She'd never seen George so upset. He was usually the most understanding and level-headed of the pair. This side of him scared her, and she hated herself for bringing it out from him.

"Hey..." she spoke, barely in a whisper, reaching to stroke the arm of his hand which she were holding.

"What's his name" George interrupted, still not daring to look to her.

She smiled softly.

"His name's Marcos. From-"

"Your uncle." George nodded. "The one who raised you. I remember him." A strain was evident in his voice as he tried to move the conversation forward without losing his temper.

"He has a middle name." [Y/N] blurted out. "He ah...he has a middle name."

He finally looked down at her. His mouth clamped so tight it was a thin line. "Mmhmm. Yeah, alright. What is it?"

"It's George." She smiled at him. "It was Fred's idea. He used to joke about us getting married and growing old. Whenever he spoke about children there was one name that always came back to him. He said he wanted to name one after you..." he was crying again, head bowed while silent sad laughter shook through his shoulders. She moved to stand infront of him. One hand gently stroking the side of his cheek as his hands traced circles on her arms. "He said it'd drive your Mum mad, having two of you around the house, and thought that was exactly the way it should be." He laughed and they embraced each other, Georges head resting against the crook of her neck.

"I'm so sorry George. I should never have kept any of this from you. From your family."

"Our family" he corrected. "You're apart of us too. Just like he is." He finished standing straight once again but never letting go completely.

"I promise I'll tell everyone. I'll do it tomorrow. I should never have kept him from you. Nor you from him. I was stupid to think I was alone in this. I know you're all what's best for him. And I'm going to mend my mistake. I don't expect anyone to greet me with open arms. And I know this will take time to win you all back, but it's the right thing to do."

George was looking with nothing but cherish in his eyes. He was devastated yes, to say the least. But he had to look past that now. He had his best friend back, and what's more, he has a nephew! He is an Uncle! And he had 11 years worth of pranks and mischief to make up for, he wasn't about to waste a second.

"Can I meet him" he asked, trying not to sound as eager as he was feeling.

"Of course."

"The menagerie wasn't it? He was going to?" He said as they began walking.

"Oh, yes but there's not a chance in the world that's where he's gone." She smiled knowingly. George furrowed his brows at the comment. [Y/N] led him on through the crowds in Diagon Alley. Past the Broom store, past Olivanders, past the Magical Menagerie. All the way down to the bright and lively store of number 93, Weasley Wizard Wheezes. George began to laugh.

"You're not serious?"

"It's safe to say he has inherited his Father, and Uncles talent for mischief." She winked opening the door.

The store was crowded, but she knew him better than anyone and knew exactly where he'd be.

"Your store is his favourite you know?"

George smiled trying to see over the crowd of people within the store to catch a glimpse of him.

"His favourite section..." she pointed over her shoulder with a grin. "...fireworks." grasping his hand and pulling George along behind her.

True to form, that's exactly where he was. Startled by his Mothers sudden appearance, and the stern smiling expression on her face the boy hid two boxes, of what no doubt were the biggest and most uncontanable fireworks the Twins had created, behind his back feigning innocence.

"Oh! Mum! I ahhhh...I'm glad you found me, you see I couldn't seem to find the menagerie and I got a bit lost amongst all the people so I ahhh...i just sort of ducked in here to ummm"

"Save it, Marcos." She raised her hand and chuckled. George was beaming, he was just like Fred, although hadn't quiet perfected his lying ability yet. At the moment it was about as strong as his mothers...aka patheticly weak.

[Y/N] crouched down in front of him and Marcos let his hands fall by his sides as he bowed his head in defeat "I'm done for aren't I?"

"Not this time", Marcos head rocketed up to stare awestruck into her eyes. Surely he hadn't heard that properly?

"Marc, I'd like to introduce you to someone...the man I was talking to earlier."

The boy looked up behind his mother and his eye's widened. "You're the owner of the store! I hadn't realised before not with...you know, you not being near that giant bust of yours out front..." George laughed. "But Mum...how ever do you know him!?" He was near shaking with excitement as he stared back at his mother.

"Well sweety, there's-" she was interrupted as a small group of people entered the firework section.

"Perhaps you'd like to do this upstairs [Y/N], away from interruptions that is" George whispered in her ear. "We can use the flat" he said standing back against the wall he'd leaned on when they'd entered.

"Yes that would be best I think. Come on Marc, just follow George alright." Marcos was becoming increasingly worrisome. This whole scene screamed seriousness. Something he didn't care for at all, he much preferred to stay joking and happy. Another trait he'd unknowingly inherited from his Father.

They climbed the winding stairs of the Twins store into the flat where George shut the door behind them.

"Make yourself comfortable" he ushered towards the couch. "Anything to drink?" "No thank you, George" "how bout for you little man?" "Can I have a fire whiskey?" George laughed as [Y/N] looked sternly at her son. "Nevermind. I'm all good." He slouched down into the couch cushions.

Resuming her position from earlier the Mother kneeled before her son, and grasped his hands in hers whilst George stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets behind them. Head hung slightly.

"As I was saying, there's something I've needed to tell you. Something I should never have kept from you in the first place and it's time you knew." She took a deep breath. "George here well...we went to school together. We were very close."

"Well, what happened?" Marcos asked confusedly. "You hardly ever mention your school days." "I know. And you see...you remember the story I told you when you asked about your Father, Marc?" George became suddenly more alert, he hadn't thought about what she had told him during all of this...he sat on a neighbouring armchair, listening intently.

"You told me he died in the War, as a hero. Saving people." George felt his eyes sting with fresh tears but fought to control himself.

"That's right, honey, and it's true. Your Daddy died a very brave, strong, man. He helped save so many people."

"So what's this got to do with me meeting George?" He asked.

"Well...George here was your Daddy's brother. His twin."

"Really!?" Marcos asked excitedly. "I have an uncle?" He smiled at George.

"Well, more than one." George smirked with a raised brow.

"There's more?" Marcos was on the edge of his seat now "how many more?"

"At least 5." "Woah!" "You also have 3 aunts" George added. "Why haven't I met them? Can we go now!?" Marcos stood enthusiastically looking between the two adults. He was truly a fearless young man. That which his Mother adored.

"Uh no, not right now Marc but I'm hoping" she glanced at George, "sometime this week." "Definitely." He smiled. "So you're what my dad looked like? Mum doesn't have any photos, they were all burned in a house fire." "Well, pretty much, minus an ear of course." He said pointing to his wound.

"Wicked!" He smiled "how'd it happen!?" Marcos was cross legged on Georges coffee table sitting eagerly infront of his newly discovered Uncle. "Marc, that's rude, you can't just ask -" "it's okay, [Y/N]. Really. And I'll be happy to tell you. Everything." George was leaning in nearly as excited as his nephew. "Can you tell me all about Dad?" He asked with a cautious expression. "Like I'd leave him out" he scowled jokingly. [Y/N] had tears in her eyes. Seeing them so happy she couldn't believe that after the War she ran. How could one keep George from him?

Distracted by her own thoughts she hadn't realised her son was patiently waiting an answer to a question he'd asked. "Sorry?" "I said, can I stay with Uncle George tonight?" "Oh..." she looked at George who had the same pleading expression on his face as her son. "Only if it's okay with-" "of course it is!" George stood with a clap of his hands. Marcos was beaming once more at his uncle. "Well then I guess it's okay." The boys high fived excitedly and began to celebrate "BUT!" "here it comes" Marcos rolled his eyes and dropped his head. George looked between the pair slightly confused but ultimately he could guess what was coming.

"I want you on your BEST! behaviour. No mischief!" She scolded "I promise" Marcos pleaded. "See he promises" George wrapped an arm around Marc's shoulders as they both smiled. "The both of you!" She added "...oh." Georges mouth formed a thin line as he looked at [Y/N]. There goes 80% of his plans for the night. Although what she doesn't know wont really hurt her he thought with a smile.

After a while more talking, exchanging stories with George from school and hearing him talk about his newest inventions, as well as answering all questions Marcos had, [Y/N] had decided it was time to let the boys have their night together. Saying goodbye at the door she began yet another warning, having knew these boys too well. "And I mean it you two! Absolutely no! Mischief!" George put a hand on his heart and the other rested on Marcos back. "I solemnly swear" he winked.

Laughing she gave the boys a final hug and began desending the stores stairs when her ears were met with the sound of her sons celebratory cheers and the slap of a high five. Smiling she kept walking till met with the emptiness of Diagon Alley where only few people remained as stores were closing. Casting a loving look to the top window of number 93 she smiled. Everything was going to be okay. She stood contemplating for a moment when the unmistakable flash of fireworks issued from the window and her expression deadpanned. Hadn't been gone 5 minutes. She rolled her eyes. "It's harmless fun" she told herself, going to turn and continue on her way home when the sudden sound of glass breaking and sparks flying pulled her attention back to the top floor window which was now shattered as a firework whizzed down the dark street.

"Awesome!" Came her sons voice in celebration. "MARCOS! GEORGE!" She bellowed. Their heads poked immediately out from the window. [Y/N] threw her arms out wide, brows raised, silently asking the question...

The boys responded in sync "sorrrry Muuumm" "Sorrrry [Y/N/N]" rolling her eyes as she walked off, the firework still in view she laughed to herself.

"We're doomed."

Part II>>

[somersetmummy]

(A/N) This is a TNA one shot, taking place immediately following book 1 chapter 12 (the gala balcony scene). Characters, some storyline and some dialogue property of Pixelberry.

Story told from point of view of MC Katie Hide. Internal character thoughts are written in italics.

I tried to think about how they would get through the rest of the gala after their little extra curricular activities on the balcony….so here it is!

Original characters: Katie Hide (MC), Sam Dalton, Vivienne Dalton, Mason Sr Dalton, Carter

New characters: Laney, Ryan

Content warning: Some light adult language

Summary: Nanny Katie Hide and her boss Sam Dalton finally take their relationship to the next step on the night of the gala, but just when they should be feeling elated, things spiral quickly. Can they get through the rest of the evening together now that things have changed for good?

Word count: 3462 (I’m out of control!)

- Bonus social edits at the end -

Alone on the balcony, looking out over the city's twinkling lights, she should've been basking in the afterglow of the best sex of her life but instead she feels empty. Her resolve held strong in front of Sam as he skulked off seemingly full of regret but now, her mind races through every minute detail of what had just happened.

Instead of taking the time to carefully ingrain every delicious detail of their time together into her memory, she painfully second guessed every move, every touch, every whispered promise. Once her exhausted mind began to fray she decided to sweep the whole thing under the carpet determined to save face, for now. Collecting herself, she absentmindedly ran her fingers up and down her arms, goose bumps standing proud, finally giving in to the cold night air.

On her way back towards the ballroom, while wondering how the hell she was going to get through the rest of the evening, she prolongs her return to reality by ducking into one of the lavish bathrooms to freshen up.  The room is quiet, an older lady leaves as she enters, another younger girl, probably around her age, is refreshing her makeup by one of the opulent vanity's. She sits down on the plush velvet ottoman in the middle of the vanity area with a sigh, not really sure what to do next.

"Well you look like you've been through the ringer!"

Turning towards the kind voice, the girl who was doing her makeup, a warm glow pours out to her as the stranger looks her up and down with genuine concern. Her face is one of those which feels familiar, like someone she could’ve known her whole life. It is enough to encourage her to open up a little and feels like a relief to have someone to talk to after feeling so alone out on that balcony.

"I'm sort of having the best night of my life as well as the worst. And to top it all off I've left my purse in the main room..." She gestures towards her untidy hair and slightly smudged makeup by way of an explanation.

The stranger offers a knowing look in reply.

“So are you here with someone? Your dress is divine by the way."

Smoothing the front of her dress, Katie replies absentmindedly, "Oh no, I'm just here with my boss, filling in an empty seat at the last minute." Hesitant to share more with someone she'd just met, she kept the more intimate details to herself.

"Me too, well sort of. I'm a stylist, one of my clients insisted I join them to make sure they look perfect all night long, god forbid her dress creases when she sits down for dinner!" She waves Katie over to the vanity and the open make up case. "Here, use whatever you need." She continues watching as Katie gratefully grabs a brush and some powder. "I'm really just starting out but figure these sorts of events are great publicity if I can dress the right people. I mean they're all living on another planet of course but they love to be in the spotlight and gush about their outfits, which is great for me!"

The pair chat easily together for a while before Katie glances at the time on her phone screen realising she'd been gone much longer than anticipated. She’d enjoyed having an ally and getting her mind off the car crash of a moment with Sam, truth be told, she’d much rather stay here in the safety of her mirrored cave and the kindness of a stranger than plaster a smile on her face and return to the Dalton’s table. With a wistful smile she turns to the stranger.

"I suppose I should be getting back, although I can't say I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm Laney by the way." She holds her hand out to Katie and they share a gentle shake.

"I'm Katie. I've really enjoyed hiding out in here with you, thanks for everything." Leaving Laney to pack up the overly large purse full of beauty treasures, Katie heads back towards the bustling ballroom. Barely making it into the room, Laney breathlessly catches up to her holding out a business card.

"Hey, I thought maybe we could meet up for a coffee sometime, you know if you want to have someone in the real world to spend time with!" She points over to someone across the room and continues animatedly, "You said you went to NYIT right? I'm sure my friend Ryan would love to meet you too, he did his Grad course there and always loves a trip down memory lane!"

Taking the card, Katie’s eyes are drawn to Sam over Laney's shoulder. He looks just as he did before the balcony, the ever professional businessman, as if nothing had ever happened. He gives a slight tip of his head in Katie’s direction, motioning for her to join him back at the table.

The new friends share a quick hug promising to catch up soon and she makes her way over to Sam who won't quite meet her eye. Despite the frostiness between them, he's a gentleman at heart and doesn't think twice about pulling out her chair, tucking it in gently as she sits. As the bustle of dinner being served continues around them, the thorny silence between them grows thick with unspoken feelings.

After a whirlwind of Sam and his parents catching up over the exploits of various family friends and tales of the boys, Vivienne turns to smile at Katie.

"Now dear, we're being rude talking around you as though you're not here. Sam tells me you're quite the budding scientist yourself?"

She looks to Sam to see him offering a helpless smile and shrug of the shoulders and can’t help but wonder whether he’d shared anything about his previous employees with his mother, or if she was the first. As Katie pulls her eyes away from Sam’s, she pushes down all the feelings which bubbled up inside her and plasters on her most professional smile.

"Yes, Mrs Dalton, I have a Masters in Chemistry and up until recently was managing projects for Panacea Labs."

Being the expert that she is at reading people, Katie astutely notices how Mr Dalton’s ears prick, he clearly didn't know that there was more to her than being 'just a nanny', whatever that means.

"Please dear, you're practically family, call me Vivienne."

A warm glow fills her body at the thought of being accepted into the fold of the Dalton family. Smiling back at Vivienne, she continues to share stories of her experiences in the industry, her passion for science and her love for exploring through the twins eyes.

"Mickey and Mason are such a brilliant example of how a love of science can be developed at a young age. They're so curious and passionate about exploring, it's such a pleasure to be a part of."

Next to her, barely able to disguise the pride he feels for her, Sam tries his best to remain outwardly impassive while watching the rest of the table listen attentively, completely captivated by her storytelling. He'd meant it earlier on the balcony when he'd agreed that she was meant to be by his side, a partner not a secret he had to hide his feelings for. He just didn't know how to make it a reality, trapped within his own life. But in this moment, his feelings bubble to the surface and it takes everything he has not to take her in his arms in front of everyone and let them come flooding out for all to see.

After all, it wasn’t Katie’s fault that his true feelings for her hit him like a tonne of bricks earlier that evening while he watched her effortlessly talk Selene into keeping her shares. In front of his parents no less. Right there, everything he loves about her shone out for everyone to see and he realised he was deeply and helplessly in love. It just wasn’t with his fiancée. Hell that's the reason he took Katie out to the balcony in the first place, to steal a moment to share how he really feels but as always he was too much of a coward to do anything about it in fear or letting everyone else down and jeopardising his sons future.

He knows that the only way to try to push through it all is to detach himself from Katie as much as possible, even if it means becoming the bad guy. In his mind, she deserves better, she deserves the damn fairytale and that's just not something he's able to give.

As they move through the plentiful courses of dinner, Mason Sr continues to interrogate Katie on her knowledge and opinions of various scientific and business theories, although his directness falters as the meal goes on and they both seem to enjoy the lively debates. Vivienne occasionally interjects with questions of her own about Katie’s family, her life back in England and whether it's difficult to be far from home. To Katie, it almost feels like she’s on a 'meet the parents' date which in her mind could be going a lot worse.

When coffee is finally offered, Mason Sr stands abruptly, eyes focussed on Sam.

“Ladies, while this evening's discussions have been...interesting, I think it's time we get down to some business." He nods curtly at Sam before gesturing towards a quieter bar area off the back of the room.

Sam stands to follow him but not before turning to Katie and instinctively placing a hand on her shoulder. She involuntarily shudders at his touch as her mind races back to the last time they touched on the balcony.

"This shouldn't take too long, will you be ok here?"

"Of course she will darling, I'm not going to bite her!" Vivienne cuts in before she can reply. Sam nods in approval towards her and lingers for a moment before walking away to meet his father. Katie's shoulder still tingling at the memory of his touch.

Katie looks across the ballroom taking in the general splendour and jovial atmosphere while Vivienne takes the opportunity to really look at her, contemplating how much to share with her. After taking a few sips of coffee, she turns herself to fully face Katie and offers a warm smile.

"I can see why the boys are so taken with you...all of them."

The honesty of her comment takes Katie by surprise. Unsure how to respond, she slowly turns to meet Vivienne’s eye, raising her eyebrow slightly in question.

"You're all the things Sam said you were. He was right when he told me we'd get on well."

The intensity of Vivienne’s gaze is so strong Katie daren't look away.

"I want to thank you for everything you've done for them all. They've come alive again since having you in their life. Poor Sara was taken from him far too soon, from us all really...it was all so hard on Sam and the boys." She trails off clearly lost in memory. "I know he cares for you and wants you to feel part of the family."

“Shit” she thinks to herself. Feeling like a rabbit caught in headlights, Katie's mind races. Does she know? How can she, they've only met once before, surely that's not enough to make her suspicious?

"I think Sam's just taken pity on me because I'm so far from home and he knows I don't have any family around. He and the boys have been so gracious in making me feel welcome."

Hoping she sounds convincing she takes a sip of coffee, relishing the opportunity to hide her blushing cheeks behind the cup. Vivienne suddenly looks up with Katie follow her gaze over her shoulder. Behind her, Laney is standing with a cowboy-next-door handsome man in tow, a welcome interruption. His dirty blonde hair is slightly unkempt, his frame more lean than Sam's but he still carries an athletic look, he smiles charmingly at Katie.

“Excuse me" Laney directs to Vivienne before turning to speak to Katie. “This is my friend Ryan who I was telling you about earlier."

Katie reaches out to shake his hand which he is already holding out towards her.

"I hear you're a fellow NYIT grad? You look far too respectable to have hung out in the sort of dives I used to find myself in!"

"Try me..." she challenges with a twinkle in her eye.

Laney rolls her eyes with boredom and escapes, business card in hand, to fawn over an awkwardly dressed woman at another table.

"Would you like to dance? I promise not to break out the old NYIT match day chant moves!"

She can't help but laugh at his natural charm. After looking to Vivienne, who waves her hand in approval, she lets Ryan lead her out to the dance floor where they sway together at ease in each other's company reminiscing. It’s a far cry from the intimate dance with Sam earlier that evening, instead Katie could relax into it knowing that she wasn’t trying to hide anything, and it felt freeing.

As Sam's discussion, or more accurately argument, with his father comes to an end he heads back to the table where he notices his mother is sitting alone.

“Where's Katie?" He asks forgetting to hide the panic in his voice, worried for the second time that evening, after she had disappeared to the bathroom for half an hour, that Katie had thought better of compromising herself for him and fled the gala.

Vivienne nods towards the dance floor, Sam's eyes follow and a bolt of jealousy hits him right in the heart as he sees her in the arms of another man.

With a steely glare he starts towards her but is stopped by Vivienne's hand firmly holding him back by his arm.

“Leave her be, she's enjoying herself."

Letting out an almost inaudible sigh he sits down next to his mother but can't pull his eyes away, so enthralled that his mother's voice is almost a whisper in the background.

"She really is wonderful darling, I know even your father is impressed, of course he'll never say it." Her arm still resting on his, she studies Sam's face before continuing, "What a shame you’d not met her sooner.”

Allowing himself for a moment to hope that his mother's glowing reference suggests she is in approval of his relationship with Katie becoming something more, Sam smiles and leans forward ready to gush even more. He catches himself just in time as the ever repeating voices in his head remind him of his responsibility and everyone else's expectations of him, instead he brings it back to the boys.

"Yes she's brilliant with Mason and Mickey, they're lucky to have her."

Dancing and talking together with Ryan, Katie had almost forgotten about Sam and their earlier tryst on the balcony, grateful for the distraction and if she was being honest the attention. It's not every day that she goes to the effort of dressing up at the last minute and schmoozes the un-scmoozable to help her sort-of-boyfriend look good, it's nice to have someone sweep her off her feet and put her first for once.

"Your boyfriend doesn't seem too happy about us dancing together" Ryan nods towards Sam who is trying to get their attention, his parents behind him appear to be getting ready to leave.

"He's not my boyfriend."

Ryan's eyes widen sensing an opportunity. “Well I guess that's good news for me...can I call you sometime, take you out for dinner?"

She drops her gaze, shaking her head slightly.

“I'm sorry, I don't think it's a good idea..." trailing off, he gently lifts her chin to look up at him.

"But you're single...?"

"No, I...it's...it's complicated" she stutters while looking over his shoulder at Sam, who looks less than thrilled.

"Well, if you change your mind, Laney has my number." With that, he kisses her hand and watches the silk of her gown cling to her hips as she walks away.

Returning to the table, Mason Sr takes Katie’s hand and shakes it almost warmly.

“Pleasure to see you again Katie. Excellent damage control with Selene earlier...very impressive."

He moves to Sam, impassively shaking his hand as Vivienne envelopes her in a hug, kissing each cheek.

"Wonderful to see you again dear, give those grandsons of mine one of these from me!"

Katie smiles tenderly back at her, nodding in agreement.

After the Dalton's leave, Katie and Sam remain at the table, sipping their drinks in awkward silence, steadily interrupted by acquaintances of Sam's wanting to talk business. Finally, noticing Katie’s arm propping up her tired head, Sam stands.

“I think that's enough shop talk for one night, let's get you home."

Waiting for the limo to pull to the front of the building Sam notices her shiver in the cold night air. He takes off his jacket and wraps it around her shoulders, the most contact they’ve had all evening since being intertwined on the balcony together. His gaze lingers on hers, neither able to look away. She tries to read his thoughts as she looks deep into his eyes but all she sees is a muddle of pain, confusion and longing. It doesn't make her feel any better.

"Mr Dalton..." the driver says with a small cough as he stands by the open limo door.

Sam pulls away and walks her over to the limo with his hand hovering behind the small of her back, not daring to touch. Once settled in their seats it doesn't take long for the gentle motion of the car to send Katie to sleep, her head lulling and dropping onto Sam's shoulder.

It takes everything he has for him not to wrap his arms around her, his mind conflicted thinking of the nights events. The incredible connection they shared on the balcony, the fire within him burning hotter and brighter than ever before, his mother's glowing review, hell even his father had been impressed and suggested during their conversation in the bar that Katie’s role within the Dalton empire might be wasted as just a nanny. But none of these thoughts could quite suppress his feelings of guilt at falling for another woman, his responsibility to his sons, the business and their legacies. At least not in his mind.

Back in the penthouse, Sam makes his way into the open plan living area to find, thinking him for his help with the boys. Katie hangs back, not wanting to make small talk in front of Carter, who is incredibly astute and would no doubt piece together that things were not as they seemed.

"Miss Hide, you're a vision!"

Walking towards the elevator, Carter beams at her like a proud dad seeing his daughter on her wedding day.

“I didn't get the chance to see you before you left, my my..."

"Thank you Carter. And thank you for watching the boys, I hope they weren't too much trouble?!"

He taps his nose, keeping secret whatever mischief they got up to that evening. She smiles back at him knowingly as he steps into the elevator and the doors close.

As she turns back towards the living room she is halted by Sam standing right in front of her, so close, she almost crashes into him. Sheepishly she hands him his jacket as he offers a bottle of water in exchange.

‘You should never go to bed dehydrated" he blurts out, trying to fill the gaping silence.

“Sam...."

"Goodnight Katie, thank you for your help this evening, I appreciate you coming."

Unable to muster up enough energy to argue push any further, Katie drops her gaze to the floor as she shakes her head disappointedly. She walks away without a word, her heart aching more than she thought possible.

TAG List: @shewillreadyou @chemist-ana @txemrn @silma-words @thefrenchiemama @secretaryunpaid @sfb123

- Bonus - photo posted by Katie the morning after followed by a conversation with Jenny (before Sam drops the Italy bombshell and she was supposed to have the day off!)

[maysbanks]

hypersonic missiles. (jj maybank)

hello ! some of you may recognise this fic and that’s bc it’s currently being rewritten as an oc fic rather than a reader insert fic which it was before. i can’t wait for you to read this and introduce you all to haley who i love dearly, so pls enjoy and lemme know what you think !!

warnings: swearing, mention of sex, sexual innuendos, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc

summary: after the death of her father, haley grubbs is determined to get the answers her mother seems to be keeping from her, seeking help from a group of pogues (which just happens to include her weekly hook-up) and unknowingly throwing herself into the midst of a treasure hunt.

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

The gang gathered around John B's porch, spaced out in various positions amongst the furniture. Silence engulfed the group, the air thick with tension as none of the four teenagers dared to speak.

"JJ should be the one to go." Kie broke the silence, her words hanging in the air as the group processed them.

Said boy whipped around in his place, golden hair falling in his sea blue eyes as they widened, glancing wildly between each of his friends. "What?" He demanded. "Why me?"

"Because you're the one that's hooking up with her," Pope reminded, matter of fact. As if JJ needed to be reminded. The dark skinned boy gestured between him and the remaining two. "She's gonna trust you more than any of us."

Kiara and John B murmured their agreement, JJ scoffing as he flapped his arms, beginning to pace in his spot. "This is ridiculous," he muttered between gritted teeth. "She won't wanna talk to me any more than she'll want to talk to you guys. I mean, we've only hooked up like," JJ paused - raising a hand to count on his fingers. "Maybe like, eleven times, twelve at a push!"

Kiara scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Wow, how chivalrous of you to keep count, JJ," she drawled sarcastically, the blonde boy simply shrugging in return as he took his formal position of leaning against the Chateau's wall. "Look, the thing is you know her better than the rest of us. You're familiar, we're not. We can't just go up to her and start asking questions about her dead dad and John B's compass."

JJ stared in disbelief. "And you think I can?" He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know if you guys realise this, but hooking up doesn't really require much talking. I barely know her."

"But you know her enough to warm her bed every week," John B piped up, narrowing his eyes at his best friend. JJ sighed, lighting a fresh blunt as he refused to meet any of the gang's eyes, staring ahead. John B stepped over and beside the blonde, arm thrown over his shoulder. "We need answers, JJ. Answers she could have. I mean, it was her dad right? She must know something about why he had my dad's compass."

JJ nodded along, but the uncertain feeling bubbling in his chest didn't cease. Thoughts of the two men that had chased the group the day before, guns blazing, entered his mind. Then the memory of him and John B showing up at the Grubbs' residence, only to discover they had been beaten to it by the very same men - he'd heard them threaten Lana and Haley Grubbs, demanding questions about the same compass that lay heavy in John B's pockets. He knew his best friend deserved answers, why did Scooter Grubbs have Big John's compass the night he died? Why was Scooter Grubbs out in the storm that night anyway? Hell, even JJ wanted answers. But he couldn't shake the doubtful feeling, thoughts of Haley Grubbs swirling in his head.

"I don't think this is a good idea." He tried once more, voice small and defeated. The Pogues shared a glance, and he knew they'd already come to a decision. Sighing, he flicked the butt of his blunt, sending it flying in the opposite direction. "Fine, I'll go talk to her. But I'm not making any promises that she'll talk," he frowned. "Sometimes I kinda get the feeling she doesn't like me."

Kie snorted. "I wonder why."

What the gang hadn't bargained for, however, was that the same person who'd they been talking about was already on their way to them - boots stomping across the ground in a determined stride, their mind a whirlwind of series of memories, scenarios, and all the events that had happened in the last twenty four hours.

Haley wanted answers, and she wanted them soon. (Sooner rather than later, if she was being precise.) The series of misfortunes events had all begun with the disappearance of her father - for whatever reason, he'd gone out in the storm that raged against the Outer Banks the night prior, and that, unsurprisingly, had led to his death. Memories of his body, washed up on the shore, cold and blue, eyes open but completely lifeless as they stared up at nothing and everything at the same time. Her heart wrenched at the sight, and she still hadn't been able to get the scene out of your head - her mother breaking down in a heap of sobs, Haley’s body following along with her as the pair both held each other and cried, Sheriff Peterkin's voice echoing in Haley’s mind, over and over again, like a siren. “I'm so sorry. There's nothing we could have done."

Haley knew that, of course. But it didn't explain why he was out in the storm in the first place. She had tried to question her mother, because she knew her dad wasn't a fool. Storm Agatha had been reported for weeks following up to it, he'd even made off-handed comments about it over dinner a couple of times. Her dad was aware about the storm, but had still risked his life (and coincidentally, ended it) to take a boat ride, or so that's what her mother told you.

Bull-fucking-shit. Haley knew there was more to the story, the appearance of two men breaking down her door and trashing her whole house was enough proof of that. And the fact that they were asking about a compass, of all things, didn't sit right in Haley’s gut either. Why the hell would two thugs want a compass, and why would her dad have it anyway? To her knowledge, her dad had never owned a compass in his damned life. (He also never owned a boat, which raised the suspicion of how the hell had he even gone out on a boat ride in the first place.) But the pair were persistent, and she was forced to watch as they threatened her and her mom, their last words sticking with her, sending a shiver of dread up her spine every time they echoed in her head; “We'll be back."

It was something straight out of a king-pin movie, and yet Lana Grubbs still wouldn't talk. She knew something, Haley knew it, and why she wouldn't share whatever information she knew with Haley was beyond frustrating - so she decided, fuck it. If her mother wasn't gonna give her her answers, then she was gonna go out and find them herself. Starting with John B. Routledge.

As if things couldn't have gotten any weirder, the teenaged boy had shown up not a minute after the two guys had left, appearing in Haley’s not-so-much of a doorway with the exact thing the thugs were after: the Compass. To her chargin, she hadn't had time to ask any questions though, her mother was quick to dismiss him (and JJ Maybank of all people, but she didn't really want to think about him at the moment) and warned him not to let anyone know that he had the compass, and Haley could see why - those guys were not to be messed with.

And so, John B. Routledge had left the Grubbs’ home, JJ Maybank in tow, and Haley was left to clean up the mess the bastards had left behind them. Her mothers warning rang in her ears; "Stay away from them boys. Do not get involved in this, Hales.” But alas, there she was, storming towards the property she knew the guys would be. Her mother didn't know, of course, and she was determined to make sure Lana never did. (Haley would be the next person she'd be burying if she ever did find it.)

All Haley wanted was answers, and if John B had even a couple, she was going to find them out. Her father had died, and there was more to the story than anyone was letting on. If it was up to her to piece the puzzle together, then so be it. She would, gladly.

So she marched in the direction of the Routledge residence, more determined than ever. As she walked, people gave her pitying looks, obviously recognising her as Scooter Grubbs’ daughter (the newfound bastard of the Outer Banks, sarcasm intended.) and she simply ignored each and every one of them. She didn’t need them, she thought. She was going to find out the truth, and each step Haley took she was closer to uncovering it all. Some people walked towards her as if to stop and talk, probably attempting to give her some kind of condolence, but each time a person did she hurried her pace; she couldn’t be stopped now, she was too close to getting where she wanted to be for some middle-aged folk tell her they were sorry about her loss, even though they couldn’t have cared less about her dad when he was alive.

Fucking bullshit, she thought.

Haley’s stride slowed however, when a familiar looking van made it's way into her vision, memories of it parked outside the very same house she was planning on going running through her already overactive mind. Her stomach churned, thinking she had missed her chance to interrogate the poor unsuspecting boy, before it seemed to slow down and pulled up to right where she was standing on the curb. Her respectively plucked eyebrows raised as the window rolled down, revealing none other than John B sat in the drivers seat, Kiara Carrera in the passenger, and Pope Heyward's and JJ's heads peering around the pair from the back of the van.

John B leaned out, his mop of wavy brown hair entering Haley’s brown eyed gaze, tight smile on his lips. "Haley,” he greeted. “Hey, where are you off to? Need a ride?"

"Actually," Haley drawled as she stepped closer, right arm leaning on the window as she sent a forced smile the teenaged boys way. “I was just heading over to yours. What a coincidence, huh?"

She never missed the look Kiara shot the two guys seated in the back, all of their eyes seemingly communicating in their own weird little telepathical way. John B blinked, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water for a few seconds before he seemed to compose himself, clearing his throat. "Oh, really?" He asked, as naturally as he could. (It wasn't very natural at all.) “How, uh, how come?"

"Oh, you know," Haley started, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly. "Just thought I'd pay you a visit, y'know, like the one you paid me this morning. Remember that?" She asked as innocently as she could manage. (It wasn't very innocent at all.) “Just wanted to ask you a few questions, s'all. Like why you have the one thing those meatheads that trashed my house were after. How you got hold of it, stuff like that."

And then she smiled like they were all sharing a perfectly civil conversation, as if the underlying threatening tone in her voice didn't exist at all. John B sighed, his head turning towards the rest of the group, catching their eyes and seeming to have another one of their telepathic conversations before he turned back to her figure, his head nodding towards the back of his infamous Volkswagen.

"Get in the back," he said - and she did, shooting him a smile that resembled one of a Cheshire Cat, satisfied as she moved to the other side, walking around the van and hearing him mutter from inside, "What? This is the perfect opportunity to ask her." She didn't need to look to know the rest of the gang were probably objecting her presence, but she couldn't care less. This was just the first step to getting what she wanted.

The door to the van was pulled open from the inside, JJ's head popping out and thrusting a hand out towards her to help her climb into the vehicle. Haley swiftly ignored the gesture, missing the flash of confusion and offence that appeared on the blonde's face, climbing into the van and seating herself beside Pope who smiled rather awkwardly toward her.

"I'm, uh, sorry about your dad," he said softly, fidgeting under her gaze. She smiled slightly at him in return, lips quirking more so in amusement at his obvious discomfort at either having her join them, or her being seated so close to him.

"Yeah, me too," Kiara piped up from the passenger seat, glancing over her shoulder towards her. "It must really suck, to just lose him like that."

Haley nodded, head turning in the direction of where JJ sat across from her, rubbing the back of his head as he muttered quietly, "Yeah, I'm sorry too." before averting his eyes when she looked at him, raising her eyebrows.

Kiara ignored him, the awkward silence that presented itself to the pedestrians inside the van only lasting a couple of seconds as she spoke up again. "I can't imagine what you and your mom are going through," she said, soft brown eyes darting to John B quickly before they returned to catch Haley’s once more. "We're always here if you need anything. Pogue's look out for each other, right?"

Haley forced a small smile, not bothering to bring up the fact that Kiara was technically not a Pogue, seeing no point in the matter as she sent her a small nod of appreciation, silently grateful for her words. Haley had always liked Kiara, or Kie, as she was more commonly known as. She had spent many times sat around a fire with her, listening to her rants about the environment and what everyone could do to help it, as an infamous Pogue kegger loomed around them. Haley was grateful for her presence amongst the guys, unsure of the fact that if she wasn't there, she probably wouldn't have entered the van. She was determined, but she also wasn’t stupid. Despite knowing the guys well and practically all her life, (it’s a small town kinda thing), she would never willingly get in a van with them and let them drive her to an unknown destination. Which reminded her suddenly - where the hell were they going?

"We're lucky we got each other, I guess," Haley said in relation to Kie's words. Kie nodded as her eyes darted to John B again. "But thanks, I really appreciate it." She fiddled with the hem of her faded out jean shorts, her next words directed towards John B. "So, care to tell me where we're going? Or better yet, why you have the damned compass my house was trashed for."

Silence filled the air of the Volkswagen. It was suffocating, the air thick with unspoken tension as everybody refused to meet her eyes. Haley was beyond frustrated, incredibly so, and she made a point to catch John B's eyes in the rearview mirror, an eyebrow quirking as she awaited an answer.

Finally, he sighed.

"The compass was my dads," John B revealed. Haley’s mouth opened in shock for a second before she clamped it back shut. "And for whatever reason, your dad had it. We uh, we found it at the wreck of your dads boat yesterday."

"Wait, what?" She demanded, blinking. She glanced between the gang, eyes accusing as she held each of theirs. "You guys found the wreck? And you didn't tell anyone?" She questioned, tone dangerously low. "And you stole from it?"

"It's not technically stealing if it was his compass," JJ defended, shrugging. Haley shot him a glare, feeling a bubble of irritation build deep in her gut. "And anyways, we tried to tell the coastguard about it after we first found it, but the guy was having none of it. They were hounded with the storm."

Her eyes narrowed. "First found it? Exactly how many times have you guys been at the wreck?" She demanded, tone accusatory.

The gang all swivelled to send JJ their own respected glares, Pope's voice small from beside her as he tried to explain. "Only a couple," he started, startling as her head whipped around towards him. "We're really sorry, okay! We didn't know it was your dads when we first found it, if we did, we wouldn't have snooped in his room either!"

Pope seemed to make note of his mistake as the rest of the gang did, Kie letting out a little frustrated groan from the back of her throat as JJ cringed, pointedly avoiding Haley’s gaze. John B's hands gripped the steering wheel tight, a warning "Pope" leaving his mouth.

Haley laughed, though it held no humour. She clasped her hands together, the slap of her palms meeting echoing in the confine space. "Let me get this straight, you guys not only found the wreck of my dads boat and didn't tell anyone about it, but also obviously found where he was staying and snooped in his room," she listed, feeling the familiar build of rage pulse through her body. “I mean, what the fuck you guys?"

"We're sorry," Kiara turned in her seat, meeting the Grubbs’ girl angered gaze. "We swear, if we had any idea it was your dad we wouldn't have. We were just, curious, I guess. We found the key on the boat when Pope first spotted it in the marsh, and before we even snooped we tried to tell the coastguard, but like JJ said, they weren't interested. So, John B and JJ went to look in the room."

Haley sighed heavily, leaning her head back to rest against the wall of the van. She tried to tell herself to calm down - hell, she probably would have done the same thing if it was her in their position, she couldn't get mad at them over that. "And did you guys find anything?" She asked quietly, the gang seemingly relaxing as they recognised her calmer tone of voice.

"Did we find anything?" JJ snorted as he repeated her words, grin falling from his lips at the glares the rest of his friends shot him. Haley sat up straighter, taking note of their warning glances. JJ awkwardly coughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he once again avoided her honey coated eyes. "Uh, not really."

"Not really?" She asked, frown on her plump lips. JJ nodded, tongue darting out to wet his pink lips, uncharacteristically quiet once more. "Okay, what the hell is going on? And no more bullshitting me, I've had enough of that from everyone else for the past forty eight hours. I came to you for answers, I'm not going anywhere without them."

She looked to John B then, hoping, pleading, that he would understand. He'd lost his dad too, nine months ago, supposedly lost at sea, believed to be dead. Haley knew he never believed that though, refusing to agree that his father was dead, insisting that he was simply missing. If there was one person that could understand her need to know about her dad, it was John B. And he knew it too, as he sighed and nodded.

"There was a safe," he started as she listened intently. "There was money inside it, I don't know how much. The cops kinda showed up when we were in there," he admitted sheepishly. "We had to hide before we could count it or anything. But there was also, um, a gun in the safe too."

"A gun?" Haley deadpanned. John B raised his eyes and caught hers, nodding. Haley scoffed in disbelief, running a hand through her almost waist length hair. "Why the hell would my dad have a gun?"

"Um, there's something else you should probably know," JJ blurted. "I kinda, uh, took it."

The Pogues glared at him again, Kie spitting a warning of his name, but the blonde just looked at the girl seated in front of him. Her eyes widened as he brandished the piece of metal, black in colour and daunting in shape. Of fucking course JJ Maybank had stolen her dads gun, she thought. It was so... JJ.

"You stole that from a crime scene?" She sputtered, heart squeezing uncomfortably in her chest as she eyed the object with disdain. JJ nodded, looking almost guilty. "My dads crime scene? What the fuck JJ? Do you realise how much trouble you could get into from taking that? For having that?"

Haley was unsure as to why she seemed to care so much about that, rather than the fact that he'd taken it from her dads motel room, and that the gun was technically her fathers. She didn't want to ponder too much about that, though, there was bigger fish to fry in that moment.

"Sorry," he said, rather dumbly. "You can have it, if you want?"

She stared at him incredulously as he held the gun out towards her, quickly shoving it away from her body as she shook her head forcefully. "What the fuck would I want with a gun, JJ?" Haley demanded. The blonde boy shrugged, suddenly sheepish.

"It was your dads," he stated simply. From the corner of her vision she could see Pope sending him a wild look, brown eyes blown wide as he tried to be subtle and shake his head at his friend, silently warning him to shut the hell up, or so she presumed. "I just thought, y'know-"

"You thought wrong, JJ," Haley interrupted him before he could continue. His eyebrows furrowed as he noted her hostile tone, but let it go as he simply nodded, swallowing thickly when she turned away from him. “So, what happened, after the motel room?"

John B looked glad to be back on the original topic. "Well, it wasn't long after that we found it was your dad. We were gonna tell the police, but uh, we had this crazy idea that there might have been more on the boat, like money or something? I don't know, we just thought-"

"Your dad might've been a straight smuggler," Pope piped up. Haley’s glare made him shrink in his spot. "Sorry, sorry. Not the time, I get it."

"Right," John B said curtly as Kie groaned softly. "So we went to look again, and I found a duffel bag. The marsh was closed, obviously. But we weren't the only ones out there," his voice turned deadly serious. “After I got it, these two guys appeared on a boat. The same two guys that were at your place earlier."

Haley exhaled shakily at the information, memories of the two men entering her mind unwelcoming. The image of them carelessly tearing apart her house, screaming threats at her and her mother, gun held to her temple as their fists left holes in the walls and bruises on her mothers skin. She shuddered and hoped the rest of the gang hadn't noticed, but she could see the pity in John B's eyes as they reconnected with her own.

"They chased after us, and they were shooting at us too. We managed to escape them, and when we got back on land I looked in the bag, and all that was in it was the compass. My dads compass. It's a Routledge family heirloom, and your dad had it."

His tone held accusatory, though she couldn't blame him for it. It was a mystery to even her as to why or how her father had gotten hold of the compass, and she knew John B wanted answers just as much as she did. Haley felt almost guilty that she couldn't give him any as she spoke up, “I didn't know anything about it, I swear. The first time I've even heard of it was today when those guys showed up. I'm sorry, John B."

Said boy nodded, seemingly believing her as he sent a small smile her way, reassuring her. “Anyways, that's why me and JJ went to your place, I just wanted to know if maybe you or your mom knew anything about it or why your dad had it," he shrugged a shoulder, trying to come off as non-chalant. "And that's when we saw those guys again. I'm sorry about that, by the way."

She shrugged too, an expression of what-you-gonna-do on her face. Though she desperately wanted to know more about the compass, and why it could be so important to the thugs, she withheld her questions for the moment, deciding they could come later.

"And then they arrived at mine," John B revealed. Haley’s yes widened in surprise at the sudden revelation, churning of fear twisting at her gut. "They did the exact same at my place that they did to yours; tore the whole place apart, looking the compass I guess."

JJ burst then - Haley jumped as his voice echoed in the van, much more louder than what John B's had been, excitement lacing his tone as he began to recite the story of the two thugs and their mission of tearing John B's poor beloved Chateau apart, hands gesturing wildly around him.

"Yeah, they were fucking crazy man! We were all locked in Big John's office, no way out apart from the window that was fucking painted shut. We could hear them, taunting us, y'know. Like, 'you better not be in there', they even knew John B's name!" JJ rambled, excitable expression painted on his boyish features. "They come in, guns-a-blazing and we're all tryna figure out how the hell to get out of there, before we finally manage to open the window and hide in the fucking chicken coop of all places. It was fucking insane, man. I had to kill a hen just so we could make it out alive."

Haley blinked at that, her jaw dropping slightly as she tried to process all the information he'd thrown at her all within a minute. JJ calmed down from his passionate retale, chest heaving slightly as he took in her dazed expression, sea blue eyes catching hers and holding them. Kiara said his name in a warning tone from the passenger seat, and he snapped out of his stare-off with the olive skinned girl, but she was still looking at him in disbelief.

"That's basically it," John B said from the front of the van, though his face held a slight grimace at his best friends rather dramatic recite. "But yeah, they practically stripped my dads office bare. They took everything, all of his books, research, everything about the Royal Merchant."

If anybody had noticed her sudden stiff posture at the mention of the Merchant, they never spoke on it. The Royal Merchant. Something Haley was all too familiar with. It had been something of a fascination to her father for a while, especially in the weeks leading up to his death. She just thought it was a weird hobby, a strange interest of his that she never really thought much of. It was nice to see her dad passionate about something, she’d thought. No matter how strange she believed it to be, he had a hobby and she was happy for him. But, sitting in the back of John B. Routledge's van, surrounded by a group of teenaged Pogues, one of which she was were all too familiar with, to put it simply, her throat tightened.

Surely the Royal Merchant couldn't have had anything to do with her dad, right? She was just thinking too much, more than likely. But something in the back of her mind was nagging, unforgiving as the thoughts whirled in her head.

"But before the guys showed up, we found something," she focused back her attention as John B continued. "There's something engraved on the compass. Redfield. It's my dads handwriting, he must have put it there for me, before he disappeared."

Haley shared a glance with JJ as John B said the word. Disappeared. Ever the hopeful, yearning boy. She couldn't doubt his wish, she wished for nothing more for her dad to appear back in her life - but she knew that hers was dead, officially. How could she forget, she saw his lifeless eyes every time she closed hers.

But John B didn't have that, he never knew, really, if his father was truly dead or alive. The records said so, but he'd refused to sign them, or so she heard. He was still hopeful, so certain that his dad would just appear back at the Chateau one day, like he'd never disappeared in the first place. But Haley - and many others - were realistic, and the reality was there was very little to no chance that Big John Routledge was alive.

(Her heart broke for the boy.)

She tuned out the rest of the conversation for the remainder of the drive, her head leaning back on the cool metal of the wall as she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander with all the possibilities. Could the Royal Merchant really have been a factor in her dads death? She couldn't shake the feeling, as she could hear vaguely the conversation of the gang. John B insisting that his dad was leading him on a mission, Kiara trying to be supportive but anyone could pick up on the doubt in her voice, Pope piping up with rather unhelpful scenarios like Big John having been kidnapped, (Haley had rolled her eyes), and JJ adding his input, multitasking with rolling a blunt. (She’d rolled her eyes harder.)

The thing was, Haley and the Maybank boy had a little deal going on. She could remember the exact day it had begun, at an infamous Pogue kegger, the sun having set and leaving the sky coloured in perfect hues of pink, purple and yellow. It had been a beautiful night, she had to admit. The party had gone strong to the early hours of the morning, and she’d somehow found herself leaving with JJ Maybank. He'd approached her after she witnessed him striking out with a Touron, (surprisingly), eyes narrowing at her when she’d let out a giggle at his misfortune. He had been hostile at first, demanding what she was laughing at, grinning slightly when she informed him simply 'you'.

The rest of the night had been spent in each others company, and Haley could recall the exact moment where they were dancing closely, bodies pressed tight against each other, her arms thrown over his shoulders and wrapped around his neck, his own around her waist, fingers digging into her hips. Their breath mingled together, his forehead leaning against her own, and she’d expected the moment his lips fell on herd, slightly chapped but impossibly soft against her own as they danced in a passionate embrace that secretly took her breath away. She’d let him lead her to John B's Chateau across the beach, hand gripped in one another’s, as he pressed her to every surface until they managed to stumble their way into the spare bedroom.

She had told herself the next morning that it would only be a one time thing. Haley wasn’t one for random hook-ups, not that no one had tried to coax her into one. She was kinda known amongst the island as being this untouchable, obtainable person that nobody could ever get close to. She wasn’t sure what it was about her that made everyone label her as this being - maybe it was the fact that she was a loner and didn’t stick to one friendship group and spent most of her time to herself, maybe it was the fact that people thought she was weird because her dad was known to be such a loser (God rest his soul), or maybe it was the fact that she skateboarded around town morning till dawn, earphones plugged in and music blasting so loud that passerby’s could hear every word clearly.

The point was, she wasn’t known for getting close to anyone. And yet, she had found herself drifting back to JJ Maybank many other nights after that first one, and that’s where their little deal came into play.

But that's where it began, and also where it ended. Hers and JJ's relationship (if you could even call it that) never went beyond that. Random hook-ups here and there, whenever JJ struck out with a Touron and found himself soughting Haley out amongst the crowd to fill the space in his bed. Of course they were always friendly with each other, they’d known each other for so long, that it would have been silly not to continue being friendly. But they never hung out, not with his group, not with him alone apart from their many nights of endeavours, until now, she supposed. She thought it might have been weird, and she thought correct. Neither of them really looked at each other head-on, the air awkward and thick as the driving continued.

Haley was thankful when John B seemed to finally arrive at his destination, and she leaned forward with Pope to glance out the window, spotting the tall lighthouse stood proud in front of the group. Redfield, the name was written boldly on display.

"Redfield Lighthouse," John B spoke. "My dads favourite place."

She clambered from the van as the rest of the guys did, gazing up at the high building with her hand shielding her eyes from the bright sun from where they all gathered at the clearing. John B turned to face JJ. "Right, you're gonna post up and look out for bogeys, okay?"

JJ's eyebrows furrowed as he demanded, "Wait, why me?" His expression only darkened when Pope informed he wasn't to go in the Lighthouse, Haley watching from the sidelines, unsure where to put herseld in the situation. "Why?" He continued to argue.

Pope grabbed hold of JJ's shoulders. "There are independent and dependent variables, you're an independent variable-" he tried to explain but was quickly cut off as JJ began to yell over his words. "We don't know what you'll do!"

"Shut up!"

Haley awkwardly scuffed her boots on the ground as Kiara sent her a small smile from ahead of the boys, rolling her eyes dramatically when Haley caught them. She smiled at the gesture, once again appreciative of her presence. "Listen to me for a second," John B cut in their argument, stepping forward. "Pope, you stand look out with JJ, okay?" The pair in questioned seemed reluctant, but both nodded at John B's persistent glare. The tall brunette turned to her next, gaze softening immensely when he caught sight of her uncertain posture. "Do you mind keeping an eye out here?"

She shook your head immediately, sending him a reassuring nod. "Yeah, sure. That's fine by me. Heights aren't really my thing anyway," she told him as she looked up at the Lighthouse, nausea hitting at a slight force when she stared at the very top of the building amongst the blue sky. "Yeah, I'm good here."

He nodded back at her, a thankful smile on his lips. "If we split up, we meet back at JJ's house." He spoke, directing the words to the whole group. They all nodded their agreement.

"Great." Kie finalised, shooting Haley one last small smile before her and John B began to walk off, jumping the small fence that blocked their path, their stride quickly entering them into the lighthouse. Haley exhaled as they disappeared into the door, and moved her gaze to return on the two boys she was stuck with.

"I'm gonna work on my merit scholarship essay." Pope informed, before he turned and entered back into the van, leaving her and JJ stood on the outside of it, alone and deadly quiet. She looked at the golden haired boy as he pulled out a happy sack from his pocket, beginning to kick it around with his booted foot.

Haley sighed as she leaned on the passenger side door, her teeth biting down on her watermelon flavoured chapstick covered lip as she stared at the grass beneath her feet, her mind racing. A thud caught her attention and she glanced in the direction of where it had come from, a happy sack laying at her feet. She looked back up to JJ, who sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, sorry about that."

She huffed out a small laugh, bending down and snatching the sack from the floor. "You don't have to apologise to me JJ," she said softly. Throwing the sack back to him, his large hands reached out and cupped it, bringing it back to his chest. “I'm sorry about this, y'know, gatecrashing your friends' little adventure."

JJ's lips quirked, his muscular arm reaching back and throwing the sack into the air, Haley catching it and holding his eyes. "You're not gatecrashing anything," he assured. In the sunlight, his skin cast a golden glow. "And 'sides you deserve to be here. You're looking for just as much answers as John B is."

"I'm not sure about that," Haley told him and threw the sack to him. "I mean, I'm looking for answers, of course. That's why I'm here. But I'm pretty sure John B needs them more than I do," she glanced at the lighthouse momentarily. "I know what happened to my dad, pretty much. He died while being out in the storm, I know that, I just don't know why he was out in the storm or what he was even up to in the weeks leading up to it. John B doesn't even know for sure if his dad is dead or alive." She shuddered at the thought, shaking her head. "He deserves answers way more than me."

JJ nodded, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek as he paused in throwing the sack back towards her, looking at her small figure thoughtfully. "Do you think they could be connected?" He asked suddenly. Haley stared at him, confusion painted on her face. "Your dads, I mean. Yours and John B's. Do you think they could be connected, like your dads death and JB's dads disappearance?"

She stopped. Could they be, really? She had to admit she thought about it in the van on the journey there, but as quickly as it came it passed. To her knowledge, her dad and Big John didn't really know each other - of course they knew each other, but they didn't mix, or so she believed. But her mind replayed the moment John B mentioned the Royal Merchant, the way her stomach had filled with dread immediately, and she had the sinking feeling that it was very possible that what JJ was hinting at could be true.

"I don't know, maybe," she said instead, not wanting to voice her thoughts. JJ nodded thoughtfully, finally throwing her the sack back. She caught it, and repeated the process back to him again.

"I am sorry, though. About your dad," JJ's voice was soft, careful as he watched her pause, taking in his words. "I was gonna say more before, but with the guys... I know how much he meant to you."

Haley smiled gently, a sudden flutter in her chest alarming her as she nodded appreciatively at his words. "Thank you, JJ," she said quietly, sincerely. "It means a lot."

JJ nodded too, chapped lips pulling into an uncertain half-grin. "And I just wanted to say as well, that uh, I don't want things to be like, weird between us or anything," he stated awkwardly, clearing his throat. Haley almost laughed at the look on his face. "I mean, like, with us hooking up and stuff-"

"It won't be weird," Haley quickly interrupted him, grin overtaking the features of her face despite her better thoughts. "It was just hooking up, right? Not like we're exes or anything. No need to make it weird."

"Right," JJ voiced his agreement. Head full of long blonde locks nodding along at her words, dimples winking at her as they made an appearance in his cheeks when he smiled. "Not making it weird. Here's to that."

She laughed as the happy sack landed in her hands, holding it there as she squinted in the sun, grin cheeky as she gazed at him from her small distance. "Yeah, we'll just have to pretend we've never seen each other naked." She joked as she finally threw him his toy back.

The golden haired boy returned her smile, eyes mischievous as they made a show to glance at her figure from head to toe. "Trust me, I'll have to pretend a lot more beyond that to stay civil."

And before she could even think to voice her thoughts of Fuck, how did that almost kinda turn you on, a sudden and loud blare of a familiar siren startled, Haley’s and JJ's eyes widening as they met, a panicked expression matching in their features.

"Shit!" Haley uttered as JJ dropped the happy sack, her head turning to catch sight of the impending police car making its way towards where they were parked. She quickly glanced to the lighthouse, her heart dropping when she saw no sign of John B or Kiara, JJ grabbing her by the arm suddenly and practically dragging her into the van in the passenger seat, him running to occupy the drivers as Pope's head popped up between the seats, questioning them both erratically. She could give him no answers however, having no idea what had prompted the police to arrive. Haley had no time to think about what could have happened as JJ slammed his foot down, peeling out of the grassy area and away from the scene. "What about John B and Kie?"

"They'll be fine," JJ assured her, though they were empty words. He had no clue what had happened either, or if his friends would make it out and away from the lighthouse in time, but he still reached over and squeezed Haley’s knee gently when he saw her worried look. He caught her gaze and held it. "They'll be fine."

She could only hope that was true.

It was hours later when Haley and the Pogues gathered around John B's kitchen table, deadly silent as everyone processed what had just transpired.

She’d had JJ and Pope drop her off at home after escaping the police at the lighthouse, aware that she had been gone a long while and her mother was probably sick with worry by that point. If she wasn’t home within the hour, Haley had no doubt that she would have the police patrolling the streets, searching for her. When she toldthe boys this, they chuckled as she ordered them to park around the corner from her home, not wanting her mother to spot her leaving the van. She’d told them to call her when they heard from either John or Kiara, and they'd both agreed as she climbed from the van and walked the familiar path to her house.

Sure enough, Lana practically collapsed into her when she’d entered. Her arms were wrapped around Haley so tightly as they squeezed all the air out of her lungs, her mothers voice in her ear a jumbled mess of words laced in a frantic tone. Haley assured her she was fine, that no harm was done, and that she had just gone for a walk around the Outer Banks. Lana seemed hesitant, but had allowed Haley to ease her worries as she led her towards the couch and sat her down, letting her mom hold her for as long as she needed to assure her mind that she were really okay.

Haley felt almost bad, seeing her in such a panicked state. But then she remembered if she had just answered her questions truthfully instead of hiding everything from her than she wouldn't be sneaking around in the first place. And then the guilt subsided, if only a little. (Haley still felt awful.)

It was a couple of hours after that when a knock had sounded on her bedroom window. She had startled, her heart racing as she wondered who the hell could be knocking on her window, at night, too. She almost very nearly didn't go towards it, in fear of the two faces of the men from earlier that day greeting her, but she’d exhaled a sigh of relief when her eyes landed on the face of JJ Maybank.

"Care for a late night drive?" He'd asked, and she’d rolled her eyes. His grin never faltered as he watched her put on her boots, checking in on her mother and determining if the coast was clear to sneak out, before she’d climbed from her window, thankful that the house was only one story as she did so. Despite that fact, JJ's hands still gripped her hips as he helped her (though he didn't have to) down from the window.

She’d felt instant relief when she spotted Kiara and John B sat in the van, having resumed their earlier positions. Kie grinned at her as she got in the back along with JJ and Pope, who smiled at her also, as Haley began to question the both of them on what had happened after they’d fled the scene.

They'd been caught, of course. But they'd also been released, and that was the main thing. Haley decided to focus on the positives as John B drove them all off, this time to a cemetery of all places - leading the way towards a specific grave that he informed them all was his great-great grandmother, Olivia Redfield. Her maiden name, apparently.

And of fucking course inside that crypt was a white FedEx envelope, addressed to Bird, which they would later discover was actually John B's nickname given to him by his dad, who'd actually left the envelope there - hoping one day that his son would find it. (Because of fucking course Big John would do that.)

The pieces to the puzzle were all coming together, bit by it, slowly but surely. They’d all returned to the Chateau upon the discovery of the envelope, which contained a map, the sight very familiar. (The Royal Merchant, of fucking course it was.) And there was a very obvious X displayed on it too, X marks the spot. Along with that, a tape recorder fell into the palm of John B's hand.

"Dear Bird," the voice had started, vaguely familiar to Haley’s ears. There was no question as to who the voice belonged to - Big John Routledge was speaking directly into the room, all five teenagers gathered around listening intently. "I didn't expect to find the Merchant either."

Haley’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, her breath catching in her throat as she glanced at JJ who was beside her, his own face a perfect replica of confusion and amazement.

"There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If something happens to me, finish what I started." Big John's voice continued to fill the deafening silence of the room. "Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn't always act like it. I'll see you on the other side."

The recorder clicked off after that, once again silence engulfing the room. Haley felt her stomach churn, her heartbeat to quicken, her palms beginning to sweat. She couldn't believe it. Big John Routledge had gone and found the Royal Merchant. The Royal Merchant, of which her own father had spent months obsessing over. The Royal Merchant, as in the ship that had sunk over two hundred years ago. The Royal Merchant, in which had bought her and this ragtag group of misfits together.

They all littered around the pontoon close to John B's house, beers in hand as Kie strummed softly on her ukulele, the night air a welcome comfort to Haley’s clammy skin, her heart having still not calmed from when she’d first come to the realisation that Big John had found the Royal Merchant, and now she was joining the Pogues on finishing what he had started - for her own father, she thought as she looked towards the stars in the summer nights sky, smiling softly up at them. For you, dad.

"How much was it again?" JJ broke the silence, the golden haired boy seated closest to her.

"Four hundred mil," John B reminded, though he said it dreamily, almost as if he still couldn't quite believe it. She couldn't, either, in all honesty. Five teenagers, about to charge head-first into a treasure hunt? They had to be crazy. But for four hundred million, anyone would be.

JJ's head turned at rapid speed, before he let out a sigh and clasped his hands together, looking between them all. "Alright, let's talk the split. Now, before we say 'evenly' may I remind you that I am the only one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us," he branded the gun, waving it around as he spoke. "Protection? Not cheap, okay?"

"Technically, that should be my gun," Haley pointed out, shrugging a shoulder and smiling cheekily when he turned to glance over at her, frown etched on his lips. "You said so yourself, remember?"

"You said you didn't want it!" He protested instantly.

She licked her lips as she teased him, "Well, maybe I changed my mind."

JJ shook his head, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at her in disbelief, though his smile was enough to let her know he found humour in her actions. "You don't just get backsies on a gun," he deadpanned.

Haley rolled your honey coated eyes as Pope quickly interrupted the two of them. “You haven't trained," he directed towards JJ. "You've done zero training."

"YouTube, bro!" JJ countered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "This," he pointed to the gun. "Is at least a five percent bump right there."

The group collectively ignored him, though Haley sent him a smirk when he looked at her, an expression of am-I-right or am-I-right on his pretty face. Kie tilted her head towards Pope. "What are you gonna do with your eighty mil, Pope?" She questioned.

"Pay for college in advance," the boy answered immediately. "And also, textbooks. Those are expensive."

Haley couldn't help but smile at him, Pope, ever the thoughtful one. She knew if she had half the brains Pope had she’d probably be the exact same as him - planning ahead, working towards college more than anything. She admired the boy, truly. But her future wasn't nearly as bright as Pope's, she was aware of that. Which made the desire to find that treasure from the Royal Merchant all that more huge.

"What about you, Haley?” She was broken from her thoughts as Kie suddenly directed her words to the other girl, raising an expectant brow as she came to, noting the rest of the gang all looking at her with similar expressions.

What would she do with her money? Honestly, she had no idea. She felt incredibly lucky to even be considered to get a share of it, given that she had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, demanding answers about her dead dad and the damned compass that had started it all in the first place. She’d questioned the guys immediately after the discovery of Big John's reveal, telling them that she was totally okay with not getting a share, had even told them she’d back off and leave them to it, though so many more questions needed answering in her mind. But they'd all immediately disagreed, letting her know that she were apart of this just as much as they all were. This was her journey, too.

"Move me and my mom out of our shitty house," Haley decided. "Get a huge ass house on Figure Eight, buy anything that we wanted. Treat her to everything she could have ever dreamed of. Maybe buy a holiday home in Italy, visit there every year and have a holiday romance with an insanely hot Italian guy."

Her and Kiara shared a giggle at that, missing the way the blonde beside her shifted almost uncomfortably, eyes downcast towards the water for a second before he licked his lips, proclaiming loudly, "I know what I'll do. I'm gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight, and go full Kook," JJ announced, eyes meeting hers and sending her a wink. "We can be neighbours."

Haley laughed outright, shaking her head at his dramatics as he continued. "Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I'm gonna get a koi pond, put a bunch of those fish-"

"I'm never visiting." Kie mumbled, interrupting his sentence as they all shared a laugh, gazes suddenly turning to John B who hadn't spoken in a while, the tanned brunette simply staring off into space, almost seemingly lost in his world.

"What about you, John B?" He looked back towards the four of them sprawled out on the pontoon, his eyes catching Haley’s own for a millisecond, the pair of them understanding exactly what was going through both their minds in that moment.

"To going full Kook," he raised the hand that held his beer, the group of Pogues wasting no time in following the action, all their hands raising, beer cans glinting under the moonlight as they all exclaimed, "To going full Kook!" into the summer nights air, the excitement and anticipation present in all of their voices.

And she grinned as she clinked her beer with JJ's, the blonde throwing a careless arm over her shoulder as he tugged her closer to him; Haley’s own naturally wound around his waist in return as they all laughed and joked into the night, the promise of an adventure and bright future's ahead of them all.

She failed to notice that their arms never really left each other until later that night, when her departure from the gang forced her to unwind her limbs from his, their gazes catching, secret smiles on both their faces.

Oh, this would be fun.

[kiaraspeaks]

Mr. Nancy x Female!Reader: Prey to Me.

You hunt Gods and he is tricky, slippery, and sly. The Gods in America are worn down and bent out of shape. Some Gods are too lazy, having had sacrifices laid at their feet for hundreds of years. Others pick up jobs, live as humans do until they're eventually forgotten in the minds of all those there, slowly they fade away but not him. Your family has been hunting the God that swindled your great great grandfather but to no avail.

Anansi.

The name feels wrong on your tongue but you've finally found him, or more so you feel that he has found you. You tracked him to a weekly poker game, after that he returned to a humble little apartment above a shop in the dingy part of town. He hummed a little song as he spun into his place. He looked at you, and then directly through you. It's a chilling feeling to be so small, to stand in the room with the God who could easily end you, and have them think you not worth the time. You never really will adjust to that no matter how many times you do this.

"So which one are you supposed to be?" He asked and plucked his hat off his head. You had been sitting here with this gun in your hand, bullets imbued with enough strength and energy to kill a God. Yet he seemed indifferent to you, the gun, and quite possibly by the idea of death itself. He could as easily be talking to you about the weather.

"You swindled-"

"Your great-great grandfather Jebidiah. Won all his land in a card game.” He said and snickered to himself while placing the hat on the coat rack, he slipped out of his jacket with ease. At this point you should be shooting, blasting your guns until he’s left bleeding and writhing but you don’t. You hate yourself for it but you’re a bit enamored, years of training and back breaking labor has led you to this moment. It’s also caused a bit of an obsession, you've learned all you could for this moment, and he doesn’t look like the creature from legend, at least not yet. “Which story they tell you? Obviously not the true one.”

“Watch your tongue, shifter. I know how you lie.” You said and he turned to look at you, and without even a wiggle of his fingers your chair is sliding across the floor towards him slowly. He’s playing with you, toying with you the way predators toy with their prey before devouring them. You felt something crawling up your hand and jumped, you mean to shake whatever off your hand and somehow sent the gun sliding across the floor like an amateur. One moment he is in front of you without it and the next moment it’s in his hand and he's far too close for comfort.

“I deal with a lot, but not rudeness.” He said and twirled the gun like a cabaret girl and then aimed it at you. He pretended to pull the trigger, taking pleasure in the way you flinched if the brilliant smile on his face meant anything. “I wonder if these bullets could even kill a human?”

“Nothing wrong with a healthy dose of curiosity, as long as it stops there.” You said nervously.

“That land he lost, he lost fair and square. Of course ol’ Jeb is always telling half stories.” Anansi said and walked across the sparse, tidy living area and disappeared down a dark hallway before reappearing with two glasses and a bottle, you barely paid attention to the third hand holding the gun. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I came to kill you, and you’re offering me something to drink?”

“You really gotta stop thinking the worst about everybody you meet. Some of us actually have manners. Now, relax.” He said and then sipped from both cups. “See, not even poisoned.”

“What do you mean by half stories?” You asked, you finally move from the comfortable leather chair and take the drink, he could kill you and he hasn't and he's had the upper hand all evening. You don’t drink it but the least you can do is take it.

“Jeb bet his life for mine, in the end I just took his land, half his land, the other half went to his mistress who threatened to come forward if he didn’t give her what she wanted.” Anansi said. “It’s quite dull actually, a direct beginning middle and end, I’m offended to even be included in it.”

“So I’m not going to kill you today?” You asked, you only kill God's who deserve it, not that the council likes that, you have a code and the Council hates that. They want you to kill with impunity but you don't see the reason to hurt those helping humanity.

“You have walked past so many awful Gods just to get to me.” Anansi said and placed his hand over his heart, or where you thought his heart might be, “I’m honored, but saddened your hatred was built on a lie. All that misplaced passion.”

“How am I supposed to know that’s the truth?” You asked, you knew he had no reason to lie to you but you couldn't bring yourself to just believe his words. He was the Spider. Trickster. Story teller. Anansi. But he was a God too, and they saw no reason to lie to humans. Humans weren't worth their weight in salt to Gods.He held your life in the palm of his hand all night, why would he bother lying to you?

“A Kiss.” He said

“You’re a pervert as well as a swindler. I’m old enough to be-”

“I stopped counting in years long ago, of course I am not trying to bed you, at least not yet.” He said and held out his hand to you. Perhaps everything has been leading up to this, when you’re foolish enough to trust a trickster. Anansi. The word swarms around in your head like an angry little bee, you're a fool to trust him but he has the gun, the power and upperhand in this moment.

Still, you slipped your gloved hand in his, he places his other hand on your hip and pulls you closer and it comes to you in flashes. His lips are warm, and his breath sweet and fresh as if he has been chewing mint leaves. He's really good at this, for a moment you forget the world, it's just you and Anansi. Then you see it. You see the sprawling land, the mistress, even the card game where Jebidiah did his best to cheat and swindle Anansi out of his Godhood.

You know how the rest of the story goes.

Damn. Damn your entire lives being based around a lie. All that time wasted and nothing to show for it.

Damn the council for probably knowing the truth and allowing you to waste valuable time training.

“How did...you do that…” You said and felt as if you have been pulled both in and out of your body all at once. Your lips still tingle from the heart of the kiss, and he's still holding you close to him.

“Jeb had the same question, it’s not a party trick or something I share with Godhunters.” Anansi said, and he hasn’t let go of your hand yet. You’ve been ordained by others to hunt the Old Gods, to spill their blood, but your fury and rage has been cooled in this moment. Perhaps what you mistook for a predator playing with their food was something more. But are you still prey? If you bed a God then the council would be severely disappointed with your actions, but then again the council still believed you were a virgin. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt. “What are you thinking, Godhunter?”

“Why did you let yourself be caught?” You asked, it's a foolish line of thoughts. Bedding Gods has led greater humans down more desperate paths, is that what you want? For the first time in your life you're not sure what you want, you’re not guided and molded by vengeance anymore. Still the idea is there, and he is still so close, and the kiss of a God is still as sweet and forbidden as the Council warned you it would be.

“I am the Spider, I am never caught in my own web.” He said and ran his thumb along the top of your hand. It elicits a single shiver down your spine which you're sure he feels. You've yet to move back away from him, "But Jebidiah was an interesting human.”

“You believe you’ve caught me.” You said.

“I know I’ve taken root in your mind, and what more can a God ask for.” He said, and damn him to ten types of hell he'll never see but he's right. He is there, he's been there your entire life planning this moment. From a young child bouncing around your grandparents home while they regaled tales of remaining vigilant against spiders, to a buxom teen waving off the stories as nothing more than make believe, and through hard training through your early twenties and thirties. He’s always been there and you’ve had no other choice than to accept him and let him in, but how far are you going to take this? You can see him watching your realization and relishing in it.

"Gods always ask for more." You said, it’s never going to be just enough that you won’t be chasing after him. He wanted you and you were going to give him what he wanted, but no tricks involved this time...you hoped.

"Can't blame us it's in our nature." He said. He's still close. Your lips still burn from the kiss. Going against your very nature from hunting Gods to being seduced by one. You're not just allowing it, you want it. "Just like it's yours to destroy what you don't understand."

"You don't know that."

"I think I know that well enough." Anansi said, you watch each other for quite a while before you finally take his challenge, you raise the glass to your lips. "The council will know now that I'm not dead.."

"I think the council has always known about this...you... us." You said bitterly, "They just needed another fool for their cause. Well I've embarrassed myself enough for one lifetime I think it's time I go, unless you don't plan on letting me leave."

"You're welcome to leave." He said, he dismantled the gun quickly, removing the bullets and the one in the safety before taking it apart. No, you never stood a chance against him if the rate at which he moved meant anything. "Or you can stay and I can tell you more about Jeb."

"You're trying to use my deceitful great great grandfather to get in my pants."

"Is it working?" He asked and began to unloosen his tie.

"You're just interested in fucking one of the Godhunters."

"And you're avoiding the question." He asked, "You're not the first of your kind to show up on my doorstep with a gun and a chip on your shoulder."

"But I am your first Godhunter?"

"I forgot how interested you humans are in numbers. Counting. Math." Anansi said and took a seat, no he won't be dying tonight. Shit. She really had planned on killing him but she also hadn't planned on questioning the council tonight as well. "So, are you coming to dinner?"

"Dinner?"

"I know you didn't eat tonight." He said, it's true, you had a bowl of soggy cornflakes earlier than that morning but nothing else since. So you allow yourself to be taken to dinner, and you eat, and you laugh and you do end up fucking a God that night. You don't suppose you can go back to the council after it's all said and done. Later that night he lays in bed, exhaling smoke from a cigarette you never saw him light. "I think I'm going to miss you following me all over this country."

"I was focused and committed." You admit, "But now I have a new task."

"And that is?" He asked, he killed the cigarette in the ashtray next to him.

"I never questioned why they wanted God's dead, just that they did." You said, "I want to know what they're up to."

"Be careful." He said, "The spider rarely makes the fly aware of it's plan."

"I'll be subtle." You said, you cover your face with your hands for a moment as the entire night dawns down on you. "At the worst I'm banned because they'll know I ...shit, I've really done it now haven't I."

"If that's what the kids are calling it." He said and snickered.

"What have you done to me?" You ask, your mind is still very much your own but you have so many questions, questions you never had before. He slides back between your legs with ease, but not to ravage your body one last time, he looks down on you before leaning in to kiss. You see the world, the future, the past, and the council and the Gods that sit atop it. Shit. 

"Oh my, you have your work cut out for you.” He said. 

"Seems I do." You said and look up at him. A God you spent most of your life loathing is here. And looking at you like you're anything but his death. You lean up to kiss him but it's different, it's not for secrets or to unlock a hidden past. When you leave here you'll never see him again, you both know that. You want to make the most of your time before hell descends down on you.

"But you'll be able to do it."

"Let's do something else first." You said, you both take advantage of the moment. You've hunted Gods all across America, and the Trickster is the most honest one. How many Gods have you destroyed upon a lie? When you're done being teased and titliated you'll make this right.

But for now it's just you and Anansi, the way it has been for quite some time.

[romansrgn]

ch. 8

"I can't believe we just did that." Braelin shook her head in disbelief.

Dante looked down at his naked girlfriend."You regret what happened?"

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised that this was the place we decided to, you know—"

"Make love?"

Braelin raised a brow, surprised at how intimate it sounded. "Is that what we did?"

Dante thought for a moment, and honestly, he wasn't sure. Don't get him wrong, he slept with his fair share of women and could honestly say what he and Braelin just did felt different than the night of fucking he's grown accustomed to with the previous women he had been with, But at the same time, it felt that it was too soon to call what he and Braelin did "making love." Especially since he knew she had some unresolved feeling for her ex despite the constant declarations to him about wanting to see where they could go.

"I think you and I need to put some clothes on before someone walks in and sees you naked, and I'll have to kill them." he kissed the tip of her nose.

Braelin rolled her eyes and stood up."Right because seeing me naked with a swollen belly is every man's fantasy."

Dante gave her a look, "You're only saying that because you don't see yourself the way I do. I just had you and already want seconds."

Braelin popped her hand on her hip. "Seconds?"

"You're right; Sixths is more like it." He smirked, burying his head in her neck. He loved that she smelled like him.

Braelin kissed him lightly on the lips. "You didn't even take any pictures."

"You underestimate me, baby. I managed to get twenty shots before getting in between those sweet thighs of yours."

Braelin laughed. "Ok, this is not a story I'm going to tell the kids once they're old enough to see the pictures themselves."

Dante snorted, shaking his head. "Sex? Check. Photoshoot? Check. How about dinner at any restaurant of your choosing?"

"Didn't we do this backward?"

Dante shrugged. "We can still have sex afterward."

Braelin lightly shoved him. "Ass."

Roman looked over his shoulder at the hand that was placed there.

"Don't be too disappointed. It's only your wife."

Roman sighed, "Do you want to keep doing this? I asked you to meet me here so we could talk, not argue."

Janelle nodded, "I'm here, and like I said, despite your infidelity twice. I'm still willing to work out our marriage."

Roman remained quiet after hearing that.

Janelle wasn't sure what she was doing. She's never been the type of woman to be ok with her man fucking around on her, and she still wasn't. But like she said before. She and Roman had too much history, and they've been through way too much to throw it all away. "I'm not trying to make this difficult. I want everything to go back to the way things used to be."

"I need to do something I should've done a long time ago and be honest with you. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I love still love, Braelin? Yes, and honestly, even after all these years, I still haven't stopped. What happened between Braelin and I shouldn't have happened, but I don't regret it. But what I do regret is how this is all affecting you, and that's why I think we should get a divorce."

Janelle smiled sadly. "I keep telling myself I owe myself more than what I'm giving right now. I'm trying to hold onto something so good and beautiful at one point because despite where we are now, our love was something to fight for, and I thought you felt the same."

Roman nodded, "I do. I did, and that's my point. I need to figure things out, and it's not fair to you or anyone else if I stay in a marriage that I swore before God that I would be in forever. When in reality, I have never done right by you."

"But You think you're doing right by Braelin? You're not. The three of us have been in this entanglement since college. But like fools, we all participate in it because, for whatever reason, we convinced ourselves that you were the right man for us."

Roman snorted, "You never wanted to work on our marriage. You didn't want me to go back to Braelin."

Janelle shrugged. "Despite what I feel about her and the situation. Neither one of us deserves to be led on by you."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"No, you're playing the field. Rounding the bases to see which girl you want to play with for a little while, but then you'll get bored, and then, of course, history will repeat itself."

Roman chuckled darkly. "Yea, and that never stopped you from spreading your legs for me every chance you got either."

Janelle slapped Roman hard across the face. "I was stupid to think you were worth my effort, let alone the time I've wasted on making this work. I wanted to keep you because I love you, but despite that, I realize I'm not in love with you. I know that now because no woman who could truly love themselves would be willing to be a second choice for a son of a bitch like you."

Roman pointed at his wife. "That's what I always liked about you, Janelle. You never hold back, and I appreciate that, so let me return the favor." He stood up, towering over her wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. "Even though we had our good times. You were never her. You will never be her."

Janelle snorted, removing his hand from her hair. "Right now, you'll never be Dante. You remember him. Braelin's boyfriend. You know the same boyfriend she fucked in the middle of her maternity shoot."

Roman's large hands flexed, and his eye twitched.

"Of course, you didn't know that, so let me shed a little light on the subject. According to my good friend, who happens to be the assistant to the makeup artists who did Braelins makeup. Those two were too busy fucking each other's brains out to notice that the building wasn't empty. But I can't blame her. Dante is fine as—"

Hearing enough, Roman walked off, leaving Janelle alone.

Janelle smiled. She would gladly give Roman his divorce; although she did love him, she no longer wanted his cheating ass. She can admit that to herself, but she will be damn if she allowed Roman to get his happy ending after all the pain he caused her. It was one thing to cheat once but twice and then got the woman he cheated with pregnant. He can get the fuck out of here with that.

But was Roman alone in this? No, of course not. It takes two to create a child, and in Janelle's mind, Braelin was guilty as sin and should also pay for her part in this betrayal. But she wasn't going to play the role of the wicked ex-wife. She was going to show Roman that he can't snap his fingers and get everything he wants. So her plan was simple. Give Braelin the happy ending she always wanted, and naturally, it wasn't going to be with Roman.

Roman ignored questioning stares as he walked past them. He immediately dialed Braelin, "Answer the phone, damn it."

"Hey, Rome, you ok?" Naomi asked, immediately noticing the tension in his frame. "Is Braelin ok?"

Roman glared at her while hanging up the phone. "Where's your cousin?"

Naomi raised a brow at his tone, "Probably busy since she didn't answer your call, and with the way your attitude is right now, I'm glad she didn't."

Roman snorted, "Right, because I'm the big bad wolf."

"More like an indecisive fuck boy with good intentions. You don't want to hurt Brae, but somehow you always do. You two are friends who settled on co-parenting, but somehow that's not enough for you. You need to control every aspect of her life because you want to be her life."

"That's unfair and not true. I want what's best for her, even if it's not me. You know that."

"I know that you want to believe that, but your actions speak louder than those pretty little words. You have gone above and beyond to insert yourself into things that don't concern you. You two are not together anymore. Move on."

Roman knew Naomi was right, and despite his actions, he wanted Braelin to be happy, and with Dante, she was delighted. But he couldn't help but covet what he knew was his "Let me ask you something. If you and Jimmy broke up and after everything you two have been through together, would you accept him being happy with someone else? You would find it easy to sit back and watch someone else take your spot. Just like that."

Naomi shook her head. "You know Janelle is actually in this predicament, and I bet to you she seems like a real bitch for being hurt that you want to start over with the mother of your children. But the truth of the matter is you two are the real villains of the story, not her."

"At Least you're honest."

Naomi closed her eyes before turning around to see her cousin standing there. "I didn't mean to--"

"Yes, you did, and you're right. I know I can't take back what I did, and for that, I'm sorry because our actions caused someone else to get hurt in the process, not once but twice. I fucked a married man and got pregnant with his children. It was low down, and as a woman, it was disrespectful as hell. I'm the bad guy, not her."

Janelle clapped her hands, seemingly having heard the entire exchange. "That's the first step to redemption. Accountability, but it doesn't absolve you for what you did."

"It doesn't, and I can't say sorry enough to you, and I know that you can't forgive me--"

"It's not that I can't. I won't forgive you, Braelin. That's the difference. You willingly opened your legs for a married man not once but twice, and because of this affair, you got pregnant knowing I was having issues."

Roman opened his mouth to interject, but Braelin held up her hand, stopping him from commenting any further. She didn't need to be protected from this, especially since she knew she was the one in the wrong.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip. "I didn't know." she defended. "I found out what was happening with you after I found I was pregnant. That's why I didn't want to say anything because it would be another slap to the face, and I couldn't hurt you like that."

"It's too late, Braelin," Janelle yelled. "I'm hurt either way, and the worse thing about this whole thing is that I'm not even surprised Roman cheated with you because this was always our favorite dance. The three of us. But, what I was surprised about was how weak-minded you still are when it comes to him." Janelle pointed to Roman. "And at first, we could blame it on how young and stupid we were, but the truth is only one of us is still stupid," she said before walking off, leaving Naomi, Roman, and Braelin alone.

"I didn't know you were— that she was." Naomi didn't know what to say to her cousin. She didn't attend for her talk with Roman to end with her cousin being dragged in front of what she can now see as the entire fucking locker room. At some point during the argument, they must've gotten the attention of some of the other superstars, "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Braelin was numb. She came to Roman to ask what the emergency was since he had called her and texted her ten times. The only reason she didn't answer the phone was that she was already in the building. "No, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I did a maternity photoshoot today.' Braelin looked around the arena of people who still occupied the room.

Roman tensed. "Really, and you didn't think I would like to attend?"

Braelin furrowed her brows at the question. "What are you—" her phone rang. "Hey, baby," she said, looking over at Roman and Naomi before excusing herself.

Naomi ran a hand through her hair. "I never attended for anyone to find out like this. I pushed too far and—"

Roman didn't like that their business was now on full blast, but he could admit it was nice to be open and honest with everything, and it made what he had to do next that much easier. Janelle wasn't the bad guy, but she wasn't the victim Naomi was trying to paint her out to be. He knew she had some tricks up her sleeve, and he'd be damn if he allowed her to interfere with him and his family "Yea, maybe a little. But Janelle is up to something."

"Janelle is not my concern, and considering all the shit you already have to deal with, she shouldn't be yours either."

Roman snorted, "It's hard to tell whose side you're on these days."

"I'm on the side I've always been on, and that's Braelin."

"Oh yeah? It seems like you're more on Janelle's side, and I'm not sure why that is. You and Janelle aren't friends, but from the way you're acting, you two have been friends for years. Braelin is the one that needs you right now. So instead of throwing what we did back in her face every second, maybe you should try to remember she needs you right now." Roman said, walking off. He had a meeting with Paul Heyman. He'll talk to Braelin later.

"I'm glad everything went alright with Tata. Send him my love, ok."

"I will. We're still on for tonight?"

Braelin grinned. "Of course. I should be done here before 9. They don't have much for me so that it might be sooner, and then I'm all yours."

Dante liked the way that sounded but deep down inside; he could never get himself to believe it. "You promise?"

Braelin heard the double meaning behind his question, and now more than ever, she wanted to make that promise to him, "I promise, I'm all yours. I'll see you tonight, baby."

Naomi peaked her head into the room once she heard her cousin end her phone call. "I want to apologize to you."

Braelin stuffed her phone in her pocket. "For what? None of this is your fault."

"It's not, but I don't want you to feel like I'm not on your side. Because I am. I've just been on edge since after Jimmy's surgery."

Braelin sighed, "I know that you've been through a lot lately, and of course, I know you're on my side, Nao. But it just feels like you're punishing me sometimes."

Naomi grabbed Braelin's hand. "I'm not punishing you. Yes, I'm-- I'm upset that this happened. Honestly, I knew what kind of hold you and Roman had on each other. I wish that I intervened before things could get more complicated for you."

Naomi loved Roman like a brother, but after Roman broke things off with Braelin to give his relationship with Janelle another chance, she witnessed Braelin's heartbreak live and in color. If it weren't for Jimmy talking her down, she probably would've killed Roman for what he did to her cousin.

"I don't need--"

"You almost stopped wrestling after you lost him, remember that?" Naomi whispered heatedly.

"I remember, Naomi. It wasn't my finest moments, and I sure as hell don't want to relive them. It hurt. It still does. It's why I'm scared as hell to give my heart to Dante out of fear that he's going to do the same thing Roman did to me."

"Then you need to be honest with him. You're making promises to him that are going to be impossible to keep because you can't stay away from your ex, and now that you're pregnant with his children, it's going to be even harder to keep that much-needed distance."

Braelin whipped the loan to tear that rolled down her cheek. "How did I manage to fuck things up this badly? I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I ended up hurting everyone."

Naomi laughed. "It's your talent, I guess."

Braelin pinched Naomi. "Bitch."

"Just think about what I said, ok."

Braelin nodded. She suddenly wanting to see Dante now more than ever.

Paul Heyman stood at the end of the table, eyeing both Roman and Vince McMahon. "I think this partnership could be beneficial to everyone."

Roman nodded. "A heel turn is unexpected, and it could be what I need to make things more interesting."

Paul grinned, "I agree, so what do you say? Do we have a deal?" He said, extending his hand.

Roman eyed the hand in front of him for a while before shaking it. "We have a deal, and since Jimmy's injured. I want Jey along for the ride."

Vince looked almost skeptical by the idea, but he trusted Paul and Roman to take this new storyline to new heights. "Fine, I'll leave you to it."

"So, here's what I think we should do--"

"We need to involve Braelin somehow," Roman said, interrupting Paul.

Paul blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Since we're introducing this new heel turn and turning it into a family affair, I think it's only fair to involve not only Jey but Brae."

Paul Heyman had no issue involving more of the company's top talent but last heard, Braelin was close to retiring. "Umm, sure. But I thought she was retiring. "

Roman took a sip of his water. "She was, but now she has a reason not to."

Paul looked confused. "Explain."

"It's simple. She can't wrestle while pregnant, and since she's carrying my children, it'll add more layers to the story while giving her a reason to stick around."

Paul wouldn't call himself a manipulative man in the slightest. He was a smart businessman that knew how to make any situation work in his favor in the name of good content. However, that didn't mean he was against it, or he didn't know it when he saw it and if you asked Paul what Roman Reigns was doing was a manipulation at his finest. But whatever worked, and if Roman wanted Braelin a part of the story, then that is what's going to happen. "Whatever the tribal chief wants. The tribal chief gets."

Roman smirked, "That's what I like to hear."

AN: I know it’s been a while but I wanted to start the new year off right. Thanks to everyone who still reads and comments on this story on both here and wattpad. Stay safe and happy reading!

taglist:  @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection @fancybarbii @aria725  @lustyromantic   @kai1996en @angelbaby908 

[skaylanphear]

Monster

Summary: Ladybug didn’t know how far one could stretch the abilities of the peacock miraculous. And quite frankly, she hadn’t wanted to find out. But when she and Chat Noir finally catch Hawkmoth--revealing him to be Gabriel Agreste, no less--they learn the truth about many things. About him, his wife, and the unnatural means by which the couple had recreated their dead son using the same power that Mayura had twisted into sentimonsters. 

And though Ladybug can’t figure out why Chat Noir seems to be taking the news so hard, his own identity soon makes it all clear. 

(just another drabble based on a new episode. Like, y’all knew I had to do it to him)

Part 1

Gabriel Agreste was Hawkmoth.

This was a reality that was slowly sinking through Ladybug's system. After all, there was no denying the truth. He was crouched on the ground before her, his miraculous in her hand while her other gripped her yoyo. He'd tried to escape through the secret elevator in his house, but she and Chat had followed him through. Weakened after their previous battle and without the help of Mayura—who'd collapsed upstairs—it'd taken only another moment to steal his miraculous, leaving him exposed before them.

Exposed in his lair, which Marinette was taking in as she quickly looked around. Long walkways, butterfly breeding grounds, and…

"What the hell is this place?!" Chat demanded, pointing his stick threateningly in Gabriel's direction. "Explain. Now!"

"What does it look like?" Gabriel asked shortly, slumping some as he looked up at them. "It's a tomb."

Flicking her attention back behind him, Ladybug finally took in the ignited figure at the back of the room. She was propped up behind a glass case—a case more akin to a coffin. She was holding a bouquet of flowers, expression peaceful.

Chat was looking between the encased figure and Gabriel as well, just as confused as Ladybug.

"Is this why you wanted the miraculouses?" Ladybug asked.

Gabriel sighed. "With the power of your miraculouses, I can heal her." His gaze dropped to the ground. "I can bring her back."

"What's wrong with her?" Chat asked. Well, it was less a question so much as a demand. And when Gabriel didn't immediately answer, he extended his stick harshly into his chest, knocking him onto his back. "Tell me!"

"Chat!" Ladybug scolded, but he ignored her.

Gabriel shoved the stick aside and propped himself up on his hands. "I don't see how the details of her condition are any of your business," he snapped.

Ladybug glared. "I don't think you're in any position to be making determinations about anything."

Gabriel eyed her for a moment, before clicking his tongue and looking to the side. "She abused a miraculous and so suffered the consequences."

Chat curled his lip. "A miraculous?" he asked. "How? Why?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I want to know!"

Ladybug looked again to Chat, surprised at his ferociousness. But she had to admit that she, too, was curious as to how all this had gotten started. Not only because they'd finally caught Hawkmoth and she wanted details, but because this was Adrien's mother and father. Maybe it wasn't her business, but she still wanted to know.

"When you try to make a miraculous do something it's not meant to do, there are prices to be paid," Gabriel replied. "But Emilie was willing to pay that price, just as I'm willing to pay the price to bring her back."

"That's not an explanation," Chat growled.

"It's enough."

"It's not."

"Just tell us the whole story," Ladybug insisted. "And don't leave anything out."

Gabriel glared, but with Chat once again shoving his stick into his chest, he released another defeated sigh.

"It happened because of our son," he started, a statement that visibly startled both Chat and Ladybug. "Some years ago, he got… sick. Very sick. He'd always been… weak. That was why he had to stay in the house, and why we never let him go to school. Because his health… He just couldn't.

"We knew from the beginning that he was unlikely to live much past the age of twelve or thirteen. But even so, you can't… You don't just give up on your children. We talked with the best doctors in the world, got opinions from everyone, but no one could help us. So Emilie decided to look into… other options."

"The miraculous…" Ladybug determined.

"Yes. We got a lead that led us to Tibet, but the miraculouses we found weren't the ones we needed. What we needed were your miraculouses, but we got the peacock and moth miraculous instead.

"We started to give up hope. Adrien, he… he didn't have much time left. And so we decided that what little time he did have, we'd spend it… with him. Home. Together. As a family." He had to pause to take a shaky breath, his chin trembling as he visibly clenched his jaw. "He was everything good in the world. He knew he was—that he—he knew what was coming, and he was this… positive force through it all.

"He told us not to worry," he said, voice choked. "That everything would be fine. That he'd be fine, no matter what."

"You can't possibly know what it's like." He looked back up at them, heavy, dark grief apparent in his gaze. "To watch for months—years—as the one thing in the world you love the most slowly fades away."

Shaking his head, he tried to remain composed, but a single tear streaked down his cheek nonetheless.

"He died in my arms," he whispered, the words so strained it was amazing he could even say them. "Nothing but skin and bones, wasted away to nothing. He took his last breath while we held him, and then he was gone."

Despite herself, Ladybug blinked back her own emotions. None of it made sense, because she knew Adrien and he was strong and healthy. Yet, somehow, she realized that what Gabriel was saying was true as well.

"Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children," he continued brokenly, seemingly giving in to the fact that he wasn't going to be able to hold back his own despair. "Even though we knew it was coming, we could never have been prepared. It broke us both, losing him. But with Emilie it… it was like she just couldn't accept it.

"So she started experimenting with the peacock miraculous. At first, I thought she was just… grieving, creating these sentient creatures that looked like him, but never actually were. Because no matter how close to living the peacock miraculous makes these… things, they were never actually… But she kept going, thinking she was getting closer each time.

"But the peacock miraculous isn't the miraculous of creation—it doesn't have the ability to create life or restore it. Not within the typical parameters of how it's meant to be used. But Emilie, she… she was always the type to think outside the box. Like you." He nodded to Ladybug. "She always found a solution, even in the bleakest of circumstances.

"She became very skilled at creating these… fake copies of our son. I hated them, but they seemed to preoccupy her, so I just… kept my distance. Maybe if I'd been more attentive, I could have stopped her. But in the end, I was too late.

"She's kept a few locks of his hair, before we'd… As a memento. I don't know when she started using the hairs to create the creatures, but I suspect that was when the miraculous started siphoning off her own energy. Because with each attempt she made at making him real, the more there was that was required of her. Like I said, the peacock miraculous doesn't create life, so in order to do that, you have to get that life-force from someone else.

"She perfected him. She manipulated the genetics in those strands of hair, weeding out all the weaknesses and leaving everything else behind. But even so, he still wasn't… right. Which she knew, because she'd been practicing. Preparing herself for the real thing.

"So the time came when she felt she was ready. She took one of those single hairs and instead of keeping it, she created the… sentimonster, as you call them, around it. Protectively, so it could be born with free will that no one else could take or manipulate. And then she poured all of her life force into it.

"It shouldn't have worked, because that's not what the peacock miraculous is for. But I suppose we can't really know the true nature of the forces that reside inside those tiny jewelry pieces. They're beyond us. Her love, her memories, her desire, her grief, whatever it was she poured into him, it was enough to break the barriers that had defined what was possible with her miraculous.

"But it also shattered the miraculous, which in turn shattered what little remained of her. So here we are." He gestured out to the sides. "My wife is all but as dead as my son and all I wanted to do is bring her back."

To say that Ladybug was pale and shaky by the end of his story was a bit of an understatement. It was hard to believe, let alone rationalize. Because that meant the Adrien she knew, that went to school with her and her friends…

"But you have a son," she said sternly, as if needing to convince herself.

"Yes." Gabriel shrugged one shoulder. "I have the living embodiment of what Emilie thought our son was and want she wanted him to be. A perfect child that represents all that we loved without all the ill that stole him away from us. But though they share the same name, he's not the Adrien that died in my arms. He's perfect and unreal, just as Emilie intended him to be."

"But he's not unreal," Chat reasoned, sounding oddly desperate. "He's… He's a person. He has feelings and memories and—"

"And he is just as Emilie intended him to be," Gabriel replied flatly.

"You talk about him as if he's not your son at all," Ladybug pointed out.

"Of course he's my son," Gabriel snapped. "But he's not the son we lost and he never will be. Emilie's grief created something unnatural and she had to pay the consequences, while I live on with a constant reminder of everything I lost, loving it—him—because what else is there possibly left for me to do?" Once again, his expression broke. "He's perfect, but he's the only thing in my life that is."

"No one is perfect," Ladybug replied, finally beginning to regain her composure. "Your wife did an abhorrent thing, creating Adrien the way she did." Gaping, Chat whipped around to look at her. "But it's not his fault he exists, nor is it his fault that he now has to pay the price for you and your wife's mistakes."

"If you'd give me your miraculouses, he wouldn't have to know a thing about it," Gabriel growled out.

"What makes you think there isn't a price to be paid to use our miraculouses that way too?" she asked. "What you want to do is no more unnatural than what your wife did originally. You've created a life and ruined it all at the same time.

"You act like what your wife did was a mistake, but now you're trying to do the same thing. What makes you think your attempts will end any differently?"

"Because this time I'll have the proper tools!"

"No, you won't," she said firmly. "There are no right tools for what you're trying to do. No, all either of you have done was create a child that you've now orphaned. His mother is dead and now his father… You've done Adrien a horrible, horrible wrong and there's no way you'll ever be able to undo it."

"I'm doing this for Adrien!" Gabriel insisted.

"No you're not," Ladybug insisted. "You're doing it for yourself. Because you're just as steeped in grief as your wife was.

"This ends now," she said finally. "No more will you abuse any miraculouses. Or Adrien, for that matter."

"I love my son."

"That doesn't mean any of this is okay. I know Adrien. And I know that he'd never approve of anything you've been doing." She paused, swallowing hard. "And I hope to god that he never finds out the truth you just told us."

Gabriel glared. "Then you're not going to even try and help me."

Ladybug stood firm. "No."

And so Gabriel looked to Chat Noir. "And you?"

"I've already called the police," he said coldly, holding up his stick as he did. The phone adaptor was open, programmed to supply the authorities with their location. "You'll never be allowed to abuse a miraculous the way you and your wife have ever again."

Gabriel scowled.

"You're going to prison," he continued. "And if I have anything say about it, you'll be locked up for the rest of your life."

"It won't be that simple," Gabriel practically threatened.

"You're a terrorist that's murdered thousands. I don't think there's much to question," Ladybug replied.

"Thousands that you brought back!" Gabriel practically shouted. "How is that any different than what I'm trying to do?!"

"Because I only bring back the people who have died by the unnatural means of your abused miraculous!" she snapped. "I'm not bringing back people who die every day outside of your influence. I wouldn't even know where to start in doing that, because I know better than to question things like the natural process of life and death! Your wife… Your wife tampered with that line and I can't… I won't follow in her footsteps. And I'm certainly not going to allow you to do that either."

"You'd rather retain a status quo?" Gabriel asked. "Is that really the attitude of a hero?"

"It's the attitude of someone who knows their place in the universe," Ladybug replied simply. "And who has accepted their own mortality in the face of a universe I know is beyond my comprehension."

"Then you're a coward, unwilling to reach beyond your simple existence!"

"No, Gabriel," she said steadily. "You're the one unwilling to face reality. If anyone here is a coward, it's not me or Chat Noir."

Maybe he'd have had more to say. Maybe he'd have tried to do more than that. But if fate truly existed, it had something far different in store for Gabriel Agreste. Within the moment that Ladybug had quit speaking, they heard voices overhead, before a flashlight was shining down through the elevator shaft behind them. Snapping her yoyo out, Ladybug wrapped Gabriel up before he could finish standing, stranding him in place while Chat turned and marched back toward the elevator.

Soon enough, the police were all over the lair. And while Ladybug knew there was no hiding what was obvious, she hoped that perhaps she'd be able to keep a majority of the more sensitive details between only her and Chat Noir. Keeping both the moth and peacock miraculous hidden in her fist, she gladly handed Gabriel Agreste over to the authorities.

She wanted to find Adrien before things could get too messy. He had to be somewhere in the house. At the very least, she wanted to prepare him for what was coming. Yet as she attempted to retreat back up the elevator shaft, she was halted by the police for questioning. And so she ended up stranded for some time, explaining all that had happened and any details she felt were pertinent.

By the time she finally broke away and swung up the elevator shaft (the police calling after her), at least thirty minutes had passed. Hopefully—upon realizing that the police were swarming his house—Adrien had been barricaded away.

She really wanted to be the one to talk to him first.

And where had Chat Noir disappeared to?

Ignoring the police that continued to try and get her attention, she vaulted across Gabriel's study and out the door. Jumping to the banister along the stairs, she sprinted upward and over, deciding that the first place she would look was Adrien's bedroom.

The door was unguarded and unlocked, making it easy for her to press her way inside.

"Adrien?" she called as she walked in.

The room was dark, the night sky cloudy beyond the windows, the moon's light slightly hindered. But it was still light enough to see, and so she scanned the room.

There, sitting on the edge of Adrien's bed, was a single figure.

"Chat?" she asked, recognizing him immediately.

He didn't look up at her. In fact, it didn't even seem as though he had heard her. Hunched over, he was staring down at his hands, wholly indulged in his own thoughts.

"Chat," Ladybug said more firmly, making her way over as she did. "Have you seen Adrien?"

Still, he didn't answer. But he did twitchingly look up at her, the sight of his confused, distressed green eyes immediately jump-starting Ladybug's own concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked quickly. "Is everything okay? Are you okay? What about Adrien? Where is—"

The bright green flash of Chat's transformation disappearing was both startling and shocking, Ladybug freezing in place as her eyes went wide. But she didn't have time to look away, her gaze still zeroed in on Chat as his black suit disappeared to reveal…

Heart surging into her throat, she felt everything inside of her go numb as she stared into those familiar green eyes, both of which were now bordered in tears.

"Adrien..?"

He swallowed hard, the tears overflowing down his cheeks.

"My Lady," he struggled to say, each word sounding as though he had to pry it free from hardened concrete. "I—I'm Adrien."

He gasped helplessly, a sob ripping from his throat.

"I'm a monster."