#the biggest issue is finding the moral i wanna share

[high-guardian-herbs]

So, trying to remake HGS is a bit hard cause it's a delicate line between adding some changes and just making a whole different story with different characters that happens to have the same name

I'm trying to let the beginning of the story stay the same for the most part, cause I'm trying to make a reboot not a rewritting or sm, but at the same time if I want to add lore and a conflict I have to change many things and even get rid of few characters

For example, aloe can't exist (at least not in lyngarth) or else she will kind of destroy the lore I'm writing for the elves, and if I were to add her her design will look different to fit in with my image of the snow elves

Also anise too is a bit awkward looking in the show, since she is a punk in a traditional magical world, and she isn't really needed as rosemary and sage have a dorm already, and she might not fit into the lore I have for sages family

With that being said, I may include her, but I really hate making big redesigns for characters (cause they don't feel like themselves if I did anything too big) so I'll have to think of a believable reason so as to why this punk girl is among peasant looking people

And that's just two characters who barely have a role in the show, and I have to try and fit every character to the lore of it's species and to the lore of the character itself and the rules of the world and it's magic (seriously the demon teacher is giving me a bit of a headache ugh) and not to forget to find a conflict (cause the show didn't have the time to show us much about the big bad guy) and I'm still not sure on what to do with slime boy or alastor

(seriously tho the way I will go about with slime boy's past will be the moment the story and it's conflict is set in stone)

Also I just suck at coming up with ideas for episodic adventures lol

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[ryanberga]

At some point will you post some sort of transcript/verbatum of what was said for those of us who haven’t listened/can’t listen so we can understand the situation and what exactly was said in what context (no pressure because I know you said you haven’t listened to it either but some of us [me] are confused and only know that bad things were said but not like what and in what context) thank you for this blog wishing you a less stressful day

i went ahead and transcribed the entire last question for you so that you have the full context. this is 10-15 minutes worth of dialogue so apologies that it's so long! i cut out any irrelevant banter/jokes, and i stopped the transcript where i did because that's the end of the bulk of it. i bolded the parts that i (and most people) have taken issue with

Katie: [reading question] "Guys! I'm in a really sticky situation. For context, I live in rural Ireland, and I'm meant to be starting my first year at uni (you'd say college). My problem is that there's a girl in my friend group that I really despise. There's eight of us in total, so it's easy enough to stay clear of her, but moving to uni was meant to be the perfect time to be able to cut all ties. It's safe for us here in Ireland to be meeting outdoors and even indoors, and I had my friends over for camping a while ago. She didn't show, and it was the first time I felt comfortable in my friend group, as well as the fact that my friend group didn't split into two separate groups as it usually would. I want to go camping again with my friends because it would be such fun, but I don't want to invite her but at the same time don't want to be excluding someone. For context, the problem I have with her is that she can be very judgmental to the point of slut-shaming, as well as having homophobic and racist views. I recently had two friends inside the group come out to me, and one (a newer friend) is oblivious to her views, as she has been less outspoken in the recent year. I'm at a loss what to do because I hate confrontation and don't want to start any drama but am frankly uncomfortable with her. Is it mean to exclude her because who knows if we'll get to start uni and make new friends anytime soon?" [end question] Um, so I chose this because uhh... you know, I think it's a very relatable, common thing to have sort of a friend group that coalesces and to value the group a lot but to figure out over time that maybe somebody in it... you know, doesn't share your ideals or values and to sort of not know what to do when that comes up. And sort of bigger than this person's question, I also think that something that's sort of going on right now is that a lot of people are realizing that they have family or friends or people that they're close to in some capacity that maybe are not as woke as they could be and are maybe resistant to having conversations that they should be having or seeing things in a more progressive light, especially with a lot of what's been going on this year. Um, so it's a really tough thing, I think, to have somebody that you're close to have views that you can't support morally and, you know, with this person, it's easier in the sense that it doesn't sound like she's very close to this person, so if she could just cut her out of her life, it sounds like she'd be happy enough. For a lot of people, that is a tougher choice. So I wanted to talk about it because, um... you know, I think it's a really difficult situation to be in, and, you know, I think if it were me, with this particular group of friends, you know, look, I think if you were just disagreeing over, like, you know, liking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches versus peanut butter and fluff sandwiches, I'd just tell you to, like, get over it and, you know, make peace for the sake of the group because, you know, it's a group of friends, and you like everybody else, so whatever. But racist, homophobic views are not something to just, like, kind of ignore and push aside, especially if you've got friends in the group who literally could be really negatively affected by that. Um... you know, and there's a difference, too, if this person made a joke that they weren't aware of the ramifications of that could maybe be explained to them or maybe could sort of help them work through something, or if this person holds sincere, you know, sincerely racist or homophobic views that aren't—that go beyond ignorance that are, you know, rooted in something deeper. Um, and if it's the latter, you know, I would suggest talking to other friends and seeing if they're having similar impressions of this person, and, you know, if that's the case, you know, I do think that it would be worth finding other friends, you know. That's harsh, but you can't allow yourself and your friends to be influenced by somebody who isn't open to recognizing their humanity. [chuckles]

Katie (cont.): Uhh, and that's obviously the biggest and most dramatic, uhh, that that could go. If this person has maybe made an off-color joke or something and is just ignorant of the ramifications of that joke, don't know where it's origins are, don't know where it came from, then maybe try the softer approach first, try sitting with them one-on-one and being like, "Hey, so, you know, we've been friends for a while, and I've noticed that you've said a couple of things, and I just, you know, they've been offensive to me, and they've hurt me, and I just wanted to see what you meant by them," and sort of let them explain themselves, and if they're just like, "Oh, I didn't—it was just a joke!" then sort of talk to them, tell them why it's not just a joke, tell them why it could hurt people and, without outing anyone in your group, tell them that, you know, you maybe know people who might have been hurt by that. Um, and see if they could around because you're, you know, that would be giving them a chance to sort of realize that maybe they were on the other side of things when they didn't realize that they were, and it gives them a chance to have discourse and maybe see things differently. And, if they don't, well, you know... Yeah, you're going to uni, cut ties. Sorry.

Steven: That's a very tough question.

Shane: Are they going to uni with the person?

Katie: Uh, I think she was saying that they're going to uni and that was going to sort of break up the friend group, so she wasn't worried about it?

Shane: Oh. I see.

Katie: But because, um... Because, like, it's being delayed...

Shane: Mhm.

Steven: Yeah. Ohhh, I see.

Katie: She's sort of still hanging out with this group, and she's having a tough time with it.

Steven: Right. And wants to go camping.

Katie: And, yeah, specifically, she's got this last thing, she wants to have another camping trip with this group of friends. She just needs to not invite this person, but obviously that would probably be seen as a bit harsh by everybody. So. I don't know, that's my first blush at it. Do you guys have...?

Shane: Yeah, I mean, I would talk to them. I don't know if it's talking to them with, uh, other friends to make it seem like it's not, you know, a one-on-one thing, but I guess you also don't wanna... I don't know, it's very situational. I would definitely talk to them, and then, you know, try to communicate the weight of things, you know. Some people are very flippant with things. Also, you know, their empathy center kinda involves a little slower than others. Uh, some people are not intentionally malicious when they're younger, they just don't realize uh, you know, the impact of certain things, and, uh, I think people are capable of growing and learning, uh, which is great, especially young people. Um... but uh... you know, at a certain point, it's not your responsibility to... to... [chuckles] uh, force them to grow. Uh, so, I would say have a conversation with them. Try to push them in a direction, and if that's not working then maybe... maybe they have to be comfortable with the fact that you don't want to hang out with them anymore. You know?

Katie: Yeah. I agree.

Shane: That's what I'd say.

Katie: Mhm.

Steven: I mean, but the question really is how does this person do this camping trip or does—do you exclude her? Do you not—because I'm trying to think of the solution for that, and that's where I'm—I mean, frankly, I'm kind of stuck, too because, like you said, Shane, it's very situational. It's hard to really read into this because I have a lot of friends who are a little bit racist and a little homophobic, and I'm still friends with them. And I'm not saying that, uh, I'm still friends with them because of their values, I'm... I.... I just value them as people themselves, and I try to keep them around and try to, you know, educate them with what I can, but it's not something that, um... I don't want to... I don't know, I don't want to cut ties with everybody because of their belief system because I—frankly, I have a different value system from Katie and Shane and Ryan, like, we're—I think a lot of it is on a spectrum, but if this person is outwardly judgmental, it's really hard to say. It's hard for me to, uh, read into this because my initial reaction is to try to be as understanding as possible to this person, and to at least try to have a conversation, like Shane was saying. Um, and it would be mean to exclude her because it would be targeted at her specifically, but, um, the way to get ahead of that is... all you gotta do is be super passive-aggressive and find a camping spot that only allows seven people.

Shane: [laughs]

Katie: [laughs]

Steven: No, no, that's not the answer, that's not the answer! Don't do that! Um—

Shane: You probably wanna have the conversation before the camping trip.

Steven: Yes.

Katie: Yeah!

Shane: Ideally.

Steven: Just talk to the person directly. I think that's the only way to have to do it, and to, like, do it respectfully. Honestly? It's gonna hurt, it's gonna suck, and they may hate you forever, but it seems like you don't really care what they think about you anyway, so, uh, just have the hard conversation, but, when you do, don't come across it as "I am judging you for your judgmentalness." It's more like, "Hey, I want to do this out of, like, you know, because I care about you as a person, even though I don't believe everything you believe. I want you to change, and I want you to grow." And having that posture of patience is better and will come across a lot cleaner and maybe she won't be so defensive about her thoughts. It's a tough one.

[urmomsstuntdouble]

ok not sure how comprehensible this post is gonna be but! regarding the languages discussion, here are my thoughts about the anglo americans. be warned this post is long as fuck, but thank you so much if you do read all of it, and i’d love to hear your thoughts about it as well! 

so i just wanna start with alfred’s name- alfred. i think he may be named after alfred the great of wessex, who may or may not have been the first king of england. he wasn’t technically the king of a unified england that we’d think of it as today- he was the king of wessex, as his title implies, but there was a point at which he was “in charge” or however you want to put it of most of present day southern england. anyway this presents the first of his issues with his identity. he’s permanently tied to britain beyond just his culture and most common language- his name is a reminder of who he “belongs to.” of course most people don’t know that and they just think it’s a little odd that this 19yo miles morales type is called alfred but eh, what are you gonna do. 

then you have the fact that there’s no official language in the US, which makes things a little harder for him. he’s never sure what language he’s supposed to be speaking in, as the human representative of america. he thinks it should be english, seeing as that is the lingua franca, but there’s times when he just doesn’t vibe with english as a language. i mentioned before that he struggles with keeping his (spanish) dialects straight (which @cupofkey summed up as immigrant-kid-syndrome and that’s exactly it), although its not limited to just spanish. he also has a hard time keeping other shit in line, to the extent where his thoughts are a messy jumble of languages, concepts, images, and feelings. this is most evident when he’s nervous, because his accent will get super thick and he’ll start just saying the words that pop into his mind, even if they’re in another language or straight up not words at all. the only peson who can understand him when he’s doing this is canada. both of them are countries of immigrants, although they are different in who immigrated and when, so they dont have the exact same nervous tick language, but it’s close enough that they can communicate well. it’s sort of like a more global version of europanto? might sound something like this to an outside observer, but again, more global (also for the video they dont start talking until 1:17). 

america and canada also have a sort of inextricable bond because of the first nations people. the first tribe that comes to mind are the members of the okanagan national alliance, which straddles the present day border of british columbia and washington state (this is also something america shares with mexico). it’s caused a lot of pain between them personally, and with the okanagan nation. just as the border itself is vague- though the us-canada border is more respected than the okanagan borders- the parts of their identities are also vague. they feel bits and pieces of themselves ebbing and flowing, and matt and fred have gotten into arguments about it because they struggle to define their identities and they just want to be able to explain themselves to themselves. but you know that often winds up causing friction with the okanagan nations, because whatever issues with identity regarding their indigenous people fred and matt are having. they’ve got it worse, only in a sort of..negative image. like whereas fred and matt feel it on the fringes of themselves, making it so they cant tell where they end and other nations begin, the okanagan nations feel themselves being slowly eroded. none of them want each other to suffer, though, because the okanagan people can be americans and canadians and okanagans all at the same time. 

this also applies with the american border with mexico, seeing as there’s some areas in the southwestern us where spanish is spoken more than english. when he’s down there, freddie finds it easier to communicate than when he’s speaking english. chicano is his language just as much as english is- he just sort of became able to speak it when the west was colonized, and he already knew spanish for business purposes, so there ya go. there are some issues with that though because the spanish in the west is primarily from mexico and central america, whereas the east is more from the caribbean- like how miami has a large cuban minority. so he’s got a weird sort of chicano english too, because it’s no longer “pure” chicano. pure is a very loose term there because there is of course variation within southwestern chicano speakers. angelinos don’t have the same chicano as nuevomexicanos. anyway i think he’d get it mixed up with spanish proper or spanglish a lot because of the similar phonetic rules. i’m not sure about any indigenous tribes who have land that straddles the us-mexico border, but that’s probably not alfred’s biggest worry with That Border. actually no i think he might purposefully talk in an aggressively chicano dialect whenever someone in the government wants to talk to him about the ice concentration camps. like he usually doesn’t try that hard to keep the wrong language out of his mouth but he will go Full Chicano, just to make them uncomfortable and to try to get the point across that he can literally feel the physical pain of the people trapped at the border in those camps. but this also causes some tension with the countries of origins of those people, seeing as they can also feel that pain. there’s quite a lot of discourse between america, mexico, guatemala, honduras, and el salvador about that, because none of them quite know what to do. they argue again about whose pain it is and how they should, as nation personifications, deal with it.

another thing that he struggles with where matt is concerned is with his indigenous languages. the languages of his northernmost people are the most at risk and endangered, and some are actually in the process of dying. he hates that, because as much as he wants to act like he speaks just SCE and quebecois, he doesn’t. he knows all of his people’s languages, and it makes him feel like he’s losing his identity a little bit when his indigenous languages start fading away. the worst part about this is that he doesn’t even always know it’s happening until the fading feeling kicks in, so sometimes he’ll just make a point of going up to the northwestern territories and try to hang out with the oldest inuit people he can find to try and have a chat. and it’s ROUGH communicating at first but when he can get back into it he feels more solid and defined. i think this isn’t unique to him, and that the other countries in the americas do this too, but bc of the way civil rights work in canada, it’s a little different for him. because indigenous canadians are recognized as a certain class of citizen, indigenous canadian governments have a collective legal bargaining power and could theoretically ask for legal protections from the ottowa government for their languages. however, this doesn’t apply to the northwest territories, so that’s why matt goes there specifically to talk to old ass indigenous people. their languages aren’t protected legally in the same way that french and quebecois are, so he sort of takes it upon himself as mr canada to do preserve the languages and history. it’s especially sad when a language dies out forever, because then he’s one of very few people who still speak it and if he wants anyone else to know about it he’d have to teach them. but since the language is dead, there’s no one for him to get help from. the people who once spoke it are gone or use other languages now, and it’s all very weight of the world on his shoulders. i think this makes him very sad, because of the weirdly smug left wing anti-american nature of canadian nationalism. like he understands exactly the sort of pressure freddie is under but also has a cultural pressure to not say anything about it or even offer to help. 

this is also why he has the most boring and basic idiolect out of perhaps the entire anglosphere- even arthur has a distinct posh dialect that he uses most of the time. matthew talks like a textbook. a very polite and anxious textbook, but a textbook all the same. and matthew williams actually kind of likes what alfred jones has going on, but canada doesn’t. canada fell into british hands after the end of the 7yr war, which happened to be the war that sparked the american revolution (speaking of which the ages for america and canada make no goddamn sense, ask me about it if you want more detailed thoughts). loyalists fled to canada, and developed a superiority complex around the idea that they weren’t ungrateful. then it was about how they weren’t slave owners- which isn’t entirely true- and in the present day, even in hetalia canon, canadians often define themselves in relation to america. that is, they are better than americans because of xyz political thing. right now, to quote the anime, it’s “our free healthcare and lack of gun crime, eh.” this also poses some difficulties for canada in terms of culture, though, because if that much of their national pride comes from being better than america, what do they have to make a name for themselves? for anglo canadians, that’s a more complicated question. for quebeckers, it’s that the’re not anglo canadians. but quebec is also annoying as fuck and canada actually has nightmares about there being a successful secession movement there, so. i don’t know what the average anglo canadian thinks of quebec seeing as im not an average anglo canadian, but i do know that i hate their accents so now matt does too, although he will respect their right to have their language protected by the ottowa government (because quebec, that’s why). 

anyway i do have one last thought and that’s that nobody will ever really know america or canada like they know each other. they struggle with a lot of the same issues regarding language, but america has just sort of given up. in some ways, matt’s jealous of him, and in others he’s so glad he’s not the united states. but they do understand each other a lot as the anglo americans, and as some of the number one destinations for immigration out of the entire world. so yeah, i dont have any specific strong conclusion ot this post, but would absolutely love to hear your thoughts about languages in the americas! shit’s wack in this neck of the woods my dudes. 

oh actually one last thing. i think america and canada struggle a bit with their identities because they dont fit into any one specific group, linguistically or otherwise. they feel a bit isolated from the rest of the world specifically due to the intensity of the melting pot effect, and even within their own countries sometimes. people will be like oh you’re too white or you’re too black or you’re too dine or too much whatever other culture, so they often feel isolated from that stuff because they are all of those things, and have a deep connection with all of it. anyway they’ll always be there for each other

[tarnishedhalo]

What plots/interactions leave you feeling protective of your muse?

A meme I cannot find || Not Accepting

Hello! Hi. I’m going to be really honest here, and probably come off sounding like an asshole, but you know. You is what you is.

With that caveat, I have to say, first and foremost I am extremely protective over Riley as much if not more than my other muses. His original canon was kind of shitty and so of course I had to rescue and rehabilitate him. In the Original MCU, Riley had a couple of sentences to mention he was Sam’s wing-man in the Falcon Program, and he died in an operation in Kandahar when he was struck by an RPG and Sam could only watch as he fell. This was to give some backstory for Sam, and for he and Cap to share the man pain over Steve’s similar experience of losing Bucky who fell of a train. One of my biggest issues with the whole thing is that Sam mentions they were Air Force Pararescue. And not why they were being treated more like Recon teams or Seals than combat medics. Secondly, it seems there is an incredible bias for male muses of any kind, especially when it comes to the desire to ship characters. Almost every set of rules I’ve read says “ships with chemistry” and from what I have seen, chemistry is defined as I, the mun, find your face claim so hawt I wanna lick his face and have his babies. Regardless of asking me my opinion, regardless of my muse’s orientations and approaches to such things, without knowing a thing about him beyond he’s ex military, now a police office, and very easy on the eyes.

Needless to say I do no approve of that.

Thirdly, looking at my blogs, I have put so much effort, so much time and energy into my original tumblr muse {Riley’s little sister who is, in my opinion, a great character in her own right, and the two of them are inexorably intertwined}, it feels kind of offensive that Riley is always the one everyone seems to prefer, the one who is most wanted, the one that is easier to play along with and it makes me feel bad because I see this as directly translating to I could put no effort or care or thought into him, and he’d still be seen as the better muse. For reasons stated in the paragraph preceding this one.

And lastly, Riley is a “powered person”, “enhanced individual”, “mutant”,  “inhuman” or whatever other designation you want to use, outside of his World of Darkness/Mage the Ascension origins. I find that people on tumblr don’t have the same kind of respect for one another as muns or muses which makes writing someone who has telepathy/empathy/etc very difficult to write. For me, there is an expectation that you trust me to be honest and true to my character, and to respect you and your muse as equal partners. And so many people just want to play the “my character is more bad-ass than yours”, “my character would never be afraid of yours”.  I also know how important it is to be thoughtful and “woke” or at least create the illusions of it as muns, especially when most of us are any combination of LGBTQIA, women, people of colour, or other marginalised groups. But I find it really weird that people who play in fandoms like the Superhero genre or the Supernatural genre, etc. that are so rife with prejudice, racism, classism, and all the other isms out there, can’t bear to actually make someone like that. Even canon characters who display those traits in their portrayal are the most PC SJW to ever exist and it just kind of...ruins the whole thing.

So I really find myself very protective of Riley on almost every front. If you want to plot with him, I need to consider what you want/expect from him and I, what your plans are, where you’d like to see him go. He isn’t a vending machine and neither am I.

Threads that treat him like so much meat/someone’s coin operated boy, threads that don’t respect him as a person {a disabled vet with PTSD who has learned to cope by becoming an alcoholic, with misplaced rage and codependency issues, and an exaggerated moral compass that Superman wishes he had, who has raised his sibling since he was 15, and doesn’t know how to function without strict rules and goals}, and the like... are going to be very limited unless we as muns have had long talks about things. And I don’t have any fucks to give about shutting down a thread that I feel is going one of those ways.

[belliesandburps]

Non-Kink:  Top 12 Best Stealth Action Games

I was inspired by my dear pal, @twistedtummies2, to share a lil bit of non-kink related stuff about myself with’chall.  One thing to know about me is I’m a huge lover of video games.  I may not have as much time to PLAY ‘em much these days, but dammit if they aren’t one of my biggest joys beyond writing and the great outdoors. 

And my favorite genre in all of gaming is the stealth action genre.  Anyone who knows me knows that I adore the Metal Gear Solid series, but I also love a whole bunch of other stealth action games because, to me, this genre is the one with the most meat to come back to.  Stealth action done right is you being put in a room or outpost or whatever with a bunch of bad guys, and trying to carry out an objective without engaging with the enemies.  OR, it’s picking off the bad guys one by one, quickly and quietly.  Oooooor it’s you try to be sneaky, get caught, say fuck it, and wage war with an armada of Russians because isn’t it always Russians.  XD

I love that so many stealth action games can play out so many different ways.  And the feeling of escalation, like trying to be sneaky, and being overwhelmed when you’re caught and having to escape a hectic situation?  That, to me, is more thrilling than ANY set piece or scripted, linear mission from any game I’ve ever played.  It’s why I’ve replayed many of these games time and time again, and haven’t even THOUGHT about most of the biggest AAA blockbusters upon beating them.

Now, this list is subject to change.  I have a few games I need to play and they may beat out a few on this list.  But for now, here’s my Top 12 Best Stealth Action games because on top of being a thirsty old bastard, I loves me some espionage and bandana action.  :P

12) Batman: Arkham Origins (2013)

This game gets a lot of flak, but believe it or not, it’s actually my favorite in the Arkham series.  It’s City with a new coat of paint and a few more bugs, but City was still awesome, and so is this game.  It had plenty of clever predator stealth sequences, with more enemy variety to shake things up, that always made wiping out the bad guys swiftly and silently deeply rewarding.  AND it had more stealth action boss fights.  City had Mr. Freeze and a single predator fight rehashed twice with Two Face and Harley.  Origins had Mr. Freeze again, but with new additional options, and a pre-fight stage where you had to stay outta sight.  It also had Deadshot, the best of the three basic “predator boss” types, as well as TN-1 Bane as the final boss, and damn if it wasn’t intense.  With more gadgets and clever ways to mix and match, I think this game would be higher, but it’s still a great one for lovers of more approachable stealth action paired up with excellent brawler combat.

11) Assassin's Creed (2007)

The other AC games may be better, but AC1 is the only game in the series to stay consistent and simple with its design philosophy.  Here are targets for you to assassinate, here are bolstering crowds with beautiful cities to Parkour across or hide within, and at every turn, there are hiding spots but also enemies, making situations escalate organically and entertainingly with each assassination.  Hence why, despite most people regarding AC1 as the weakest entry, it's my personal favorite.  It's the one I replay the most and the one that just stays consistent with what it advertises.  No more, no less. 10) Hitman (2016)

I've yet to play the other Hitman games, and by accounts, each sequel is better than the last.  But you've seen the Jackie boy vids.  What more need be said?  :P

9) Death Stranding (2019)

Death Stranding's kind of a jack of all trades in the stealth action.  On one hand, you have conventional stealth action where you're infiltrating enemy camps and can either pick off all the bad guys one by one or go nuts and fight everybody head on.  On the other hand, you have BT's, whom you sneak around by holding your breath and moving slowly, lest these ghostly monsters drag you out to a tarpit for a boss fight.  The stealth is fairly simplistic but functional.  Combat as is would be fairly shallow, were it not for the sheer quantity of options you have in any given battle.  Seriously, you have a sticky gun that lets you snatch cargo straight off a bad guys back then immediately bludgeon him unconscious with it, and snatch HIS cargo to smash his BUDDY out cold with that in one fell swoop.  The way situations can organically just bleed from stealth to action and give you options for both makes it a blast.  And the boss fights against Cliff and Higgs are almost all I could ask for from stealth action battles. 8) Spider-Man: Miles Morales (2020)

I DO wish the game had some stealth action boss fights, but far as superhero games are concerned, no game has better stealth action than Miles Morales.  It hits fast and is deeply gratifying.  You have corridors with as much as twenty plus bad guys, and you can clean it out in minutes thanks to being able to hide in plain sight through invisibility.  Venom Takedowns with let you wipe out a chain succession of enemies all at once.  Corridors have TONS of environmental advantages to wipe out a bunch of bad guys with one move.  And unlike Spider-Man or Arkham, if you're caught, just go invisible, flee, and go right back to picking off baddies in seconds.  It's like playing a predator sequence in an Arkham game on steroids...and in fast forward.  And the sheer volume of enemies you're often up against keeps it from feeling too easy. 7) Ghost Recon: Breakpoint (2019)

This game SUCKED at launch.  Like, it was actual trash that became a chore to finish when it first came out.  But fair's fair, Ubisoft stuck with it and the end result is one of the most customizable experiences I've ever had in gaming.  Like, this game is straight up now designed to let you change the entire experience simply by pausing the game and flipping a new options on and off and have it immediately go into effect.

I hated the injury mechanics of the first game because it slowed you down and led to a lot of random, unfair deaths because you could never predict which attacks would be critical and which wouldn’t.  So now, I can turn them off.  I thought bad guys were brain-dead.  So I can make them smarter.  I thought constantly slowing down when I'm running from bullets was detrimental, so now, I can make stamina limitless. 

I thought some areas had way too many guards to viably take out without co-op buddies...soooo I can activate an entire squad of AI partners all throughout the game with me and there's a lot of coordination you can do with your team for really covert missions...and you can even customize their look to create a team that looks as cool or goofy as you want.  It’s a really dorky thing, but I LOVE customization in shooters and being able to fully customize, not just yourself, but your team to look however you want in missions is really fun.

And if you think the enemies are too easy to take down?  Turn on Terminator mode and have T-800's storming the place.  Yeah, freakin’ Terminators.  XD

The game gives you literally all the options you could ask for to have an experience perfectly tuned to what you WANT to have.  And the options you have make it so the game can feel like an entirely different, borderline strategy game instead of a solid third person shooter.  You can activate a drone now to coordinate your three AI buddies to stop and go where you want, mark targets for them to eliminate and have your eye on the entire battlefield.  It's honestly staggering how many options this game has.  And were the missions not so boilerplate and were the boss fights actual boss fights and not just reskins of basic enemies, this would be one of the best games ever.  As is, it's a genuinely impressive comeback story!  6) Deus Ex: Mankind Divided (2016)

Mankind Divided is the game Cyberpunk WISHES it was (Spoiler Alert: Cyberpunk isn’t very fun or responsive yet).  It's a game with some spectacular level design where there are dozens of ways around any given enemy and tons of options for any mission.  You have a wide assortment of augmentations to let you sneak or fight your way through any scenario and they give you the tools to use your robot powers in really clever ways for navigation purposes.  This is a game where even the simplest side mission has about a dozen different outcomes, and most of them are wholly organic.  What it needed was more...well, GAME.  After all, MD is a third of the game it was meant to be.  But it IS a marvel of stealth action goodness. 5) The Last of Us: Part 2 (2020)

I have a BUNCH of issues with this game, but on the subject of stealth action, TLOU2 is one of the best in the genre.  Every single encounter is highly difficult, but has dozens of variations.  The levels are all designed with tons of varied cover spots and hidden paths to let you navigate as you either pick off the bad guys one by one, or sneak past them.  The enemies range in their weaponry, but possess self preservation, so they aren't just standing around shooting aimlessly. 

And on top of that, combat is brutal.  Every bullet counts, and you feel the impact of every shot fired.  The melee system is simple but complements gunplay fantastically.  So if you wanna save bullets, you can shoot someone in the leg, and as they stagger, you can bumrush them, grab a hammer or brick you find on the ground as you're running and bludgeon them to death to save bullets.  The game also has a great lil "MGS4 Battlefield Stealth" system.  Several encounters have humans and infected, and you can pit the two against one another and either sneak around the carnage or use it to pick off the harder enemies.

The game also has a FAR better predator fight that's basically David's fight in the first game, but with way better mechanics.  The boss increasingly upgrades their weapon each time you attack them, the environment is perfect for this fight, and if you're caught, you aren't just dead, you have a means to escape a hairy situation.  TLOU2 may have been deeply polarizing, story-wise, but as a GAME, it's terrific.  And best yet, once you beat the main game, there's an encounter mode that lets you skip all the BS and just jump right into every single stealth action encounter and boss fight throughout the whole game risk free.  What's not to love about that? 4) Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater HD (2004 / 2010)

MGS3 is the first really great linear MGS game.  It ditches that terrible fixed camera, simplifies the controls, and has more than ten rooms where you do any sneaking.  Its best moments are proto-MGSV outposts, where you have an area with tons of guards and multiple paths to your objective, and a whole lot of opportunities to get creative.  It was also the first MGS game that made combat just as viable as stealth.  You CAN actually just punch your way through the bad guys now, and the end result is shockingly fun thanks to all the weapons and more intuitive controls.  But the real star is the boss battles.  MGS3 has some of the best bosses of any video game I've ever played in my life.  And MOST of them incorporate stealth beautifully.  To the point where you can eliminate half the bosses with any of 'em ever even knowing your location, and giving you a plethora of variety in the bosses themselves AND the means in which you fight them.

3) Splinter Cell: Blacklist (2013)

Splinter Cell's an odd series.  The story is nonsense yet also pretty drab and simplistic.  Sam Fisher REALLY isn't an interesting character, none of the characters are except the villain and anti-hero scumbag.  But as a VIDEO GAME, Blacklist is the peak of linear stealth action.  MGS3 had boss fights, and THAT was the biggest mark for the game.  And Blacklist only has a single boss fight, which is basically a slightly elongated version of Deadshot's "fight" in City. 

But the moment-to-moment gameplay is out of this world good.  You have brilliant level design that makes sneaking from A to B deeply gratifying, but you also have insane mobility that makes you feel like the biggest badass when you play.  There can be a room full of guards.  And like a game of chess, with the right moves, you can end them in seconds, which requires skill to pull off, rushing the first guy and taking him down, shooting his buddy, then using execute to auto-kill up to three guards you've marked who were in range.  It's about using the systems the game gives you to maximize efficiency on the field.  And you can pick off bad guys using your environment, or climbing a plethora of terrain. 

The game almost plays like Arkham half the times when you're climbing walls or pipes and dropping down on bad guys or shooting them from overhead.  It has a huge variety of gadgets to aide you as well, and combat is incredibly difficult but doable.  Sam can only take a few hits before he's dead, but the means to shake off enemies is fair, and recovering from a slip-up is more fun than it is frustrating.  The campaign has several excellent missions which would satisfy a person as is.  But it also comes with over a dozen bonus missions you can access from your allies, each one taking place in entirely new settings with new enemies and storylines, each one with simpler and more streamlined objectives (perfect stealth, predator missions where you kill all the enemies, and survival waves where you have to fend off increasingly harder enemies).  AND it has the best kind of co-op.  Like Peace Walker, you can play any side mission with buddies.  But it also has missions exclusive to co-op, designed to be fully embraced with a buddy you can play with on the couch or online.  It's a game with tons of content, and all of it is mostly excellent. 2) Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (2015)

MGSV is the best game I've played.  That's because it's a game that hits all of my buttons.  The outposts are examples of perfect level design.  Each one is designed with a huge array of cover spots and multiple paths, direct or secret, to an objective area.  As a result, every mission allows you to get in, carry out your objective, and get out without raising a stink.  And when you screw up, it doesn't feel like punishment, because the combat of this game is fantastic. 

Everything is highly responsive, so your inputs happen with no delays.  You can go from diving to shooting from the ground in a tenth of a second.  And combat lets you seamlessly go from shooting, snatching guns from bad guys and blowing away with it, to taking breathers behind cover or with a human shield.  The enemy AI is the best the series has ever had.  They have way more self preservation, they're liberal with grenades, have way more variety in their weapons, and actually use turret guns and mortar cannons now. 

The missions themselves can be resolved tons of different ways.  Assassination missions play out like small-scale Hitman missions, without the frustration of screwing up and restarting because missions are so short, you just roll with the punches.  And the overall feel of a mission changes dramatically, depending on your loadout, the paths you choose in the level, your playstyle, and the time of day you select when you start a mission. 

There are only a few major downsides to the gameplay.  The bosses lack variety, like, I REALLY wish MGSV had more XOF assassins like Quiet to confront along with the Skulls and MoF.  Some missions are a bit too samey, and there aren't enough larger scale outposts.  Some more enemy variety wouldn't have been remiss.  And finally, the open world itself is pretty lifeless.  It works to complement the missions, like giving you a whole stretch of land to carry out ambushes or battle the Skulls anywhere you please.  But open world games are best when they have more to react to and engage with, or secrets to find.  Oh yeah, and the main villain should've had a boss fight, a stealth action shootout at that because that’s what the OG plan was until Kojima decided to be slightly more pretentious than usual. 

But beyond that, this game is a freakin' masterpiece.

So why is number 2 on the list even if it's the best game I've ever played?

Because this game exists... 1) Deus Ex (2000)

Deus Ex isn't as mechanically good as MGSV.  It's even that good mechanically, like, playing it now, it feels pretty clunky and not the least bit smooth.  Still fun, but you feel the age.  So why is it number 1?  Simple.  Deus Ex is the most open-ended video game ever made.  It's a stealth action RPG where every, and I mean, EVERY single level has dozens upon dozens of different paths to choose and make your own.  It has class specialization, meaning the build you create gives you a whole ton of new paths and strategies to use for hacking or flexibility. 

Every single mission takes place in a sprawling area.  You have an objective, obstructions blocking your way, and a whole bunch of guards.  You can blaze right to a solution, resolving a situation in minutes.  Or, you can take your time and find any number of different paths to your goal.  And all throughout each mission, there's tons of things to find as you explore.  There's entire other side missions with their own plethora of options.  Lots of really clever flavor text.  Upgrades to bolster your augmentations.  And really ominous messages you can find that'll come into play later. 

The bosses may lack variety but each one is a perfect stealth action battle where you can choose any number of options against the bosses, right down to running away from them and the game outright acknowledging that the boss enemies weren't killed.  Best yet, it's a game designed to be broken.  Unlike Human Revolution, all the bosses are recurring characters you spend plenty of time with.  But you can outright blow them away WELL in advance and the game will acknowledge their deaths and keep going anyway.  If you engage in a boss battle during a designated boss fight, but avoid them or run away, then that boss will turn up again for a rematch later. 

This is a game where you can create your own cover spots or platforms by gathering vending machines and dumpsters and piling them on top of each other.  Where specialization changes the entire feel of the campaign and incentivizes repeat playthroughs just to come up with different builds and experience missions in whole new ways.  And best yet, this is a game where when you're in a hub, whatever you see around you, you can interact with.  If you see buildings in the distance, you'll be able to go in and explore, and there's always something to find. Deus Ex is number one because there will never be another game like it.  It's debatable that no other game will ever be as FUN as MGSV, but no other game will ever be as open ended as Deus Ex because it's literally impossible.  The game is clunky and cheap looking because the engine it was built on was a low-memory one.  They traded in graphics fidelity and more impressive flow for the sake of creating a vast video game with an impossible amount of content to constantly stumble upon.  And unlike all the other games on this list, that open endedness actually DOES translate into the story, giving you dozens of different branching paths to the story, and sadly, only three fairly weak endings, but damn, if the journey up ain't a blast.  

I have a whole slew of other lists I’ve been meaning to post for the better part of two years, and honestly, they’re fun to write.  So, who knows?  Don’t worry though, they won’t get in the way of bellies or burp content either.  XD

[thecagedsong]

Cool, so one of my fandoms is having a really bad day, and since I care about Fablehaven until this monster of a fanfic gets finished, how about some wholesome meta? I don’t really care what the drama was about, so don’t tell me. We’re all a little high strung, and I tend to take disagreements personally in a way that I’m working on, and don’t need to be involved in. 

Now that that disclaimer is out of the way, who wants to talk about the Five crowns? Because I had a 14 hour car ride yesterday, listening to the second half of Evening Star and Shadow Plague, and I am so ready to let you all in on the code I cracked. I found the unifying magic diagram of the Fablehaven verse. The key to ultimate satisfaction, and if there was a magic research journal in universe, I would post this in and win the Top Magic Nerd of this Century award.  My goal is to make this as accepted canon as possible, because I am ridiculously right. No characters involved, so no drama except of the scolastic kind, relying on heavy references to canon. 

Ready? 

SO, I made a pretty big claim. But I’ve been toying with this theory since before Dragonwatch three came out. I need some reviews before I inform Brand Mull that I’ve cracked his secret and won the game. If this symbol isn’t on the spine of the Journal of Secrets, what is even the point. 

A good symbol does three things: identifies the pieces you are dealing with, helps the viewer reach a new understanding about the pieces, and map onto the cultural understandings of the audience. aka a cross with four quadrants of airplane, mitochondria, love, and toe nails is a terrible symbol. See common memes for usually pretty good symbols and graphs. 

So you got five crowns right? That means you have a pentagon and a five pointed star, and the biggest trick was figuring out where each crown went, and how they related to each other. 

Examine five-part belief systems, see where the crowns match, unifying symbol explains everything, move on. Easy.

NO.

You wanna know why?

BECAUSE FIVE POINTED STARS AS SYMBOLS ARE MORE WORTHLESS THAN AAA BATTERIES FOR WATCHING TELEVISION

Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, obviously they are very useful for things like organizing systems within a single body. Who functions as the head, the shield arm, the pivot foot, etc. But the point of that diagram is that they are equally important and dependent to every other part. Which doesn’t work when the different groups keep trying to break each other’s kneecaps (see b5: fairies v demons).

It also falls apart on the five-piece cultural scale. The most well-known 5-piece cultural scale is obviously the chinese elements: Fire Wood Water Metal Earth.

Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert on those at all. But it all broke down on fire, TBH. Were dragons fire? But a large point was that their breath weapons weren’t always fire. Were demons fire? Even the ones covered in sludge. Were demons earth? Was the underking earth? All I got were fairies as water, in the end. If someone wants to give that a go, be my guest. 

I drew so many pentagrams trying to figure it out, and it never worked. No matter the arrangement, it never told me more about the crowns except that there were five of them. I was about to despair. 

But then the muses sang: The Forgotten Crown. 

(That’s the title of my thesis, btw)

Like I said, five pointed stars were trash for this system, but what if I added another crown, one that no one bothers to count, because by their nature, they can’t do anything. That’s right:

The Forgotten Crown of the Fair Folk. 

The symbol slipped into place like sharp pointy things into Warren. And now I can get to the real meta after sharing this image:

Isn’t it beautiful? After I cracked this code, I showed it to my little sister. She smiled contentedly, calling it satisfying. It is so satisfying. It speaks to so many levels of understanding. 

First, I depicted for you, we have the morality and the terrain triangles. 

Morality triangle is the easiest, if you feel uncomfortable labeling drown-happy naiads as good and all demons as evil, congrats, thinking about the nature of good and evil is precisely what Mull was going for. Since I am suddenly one of those people, I’m going to be using the creation/destruction dichotomy, but acknowledge that both of those work. 

Fairies can be most easily understood when Kendra asked the Fairy Queen what she should do with her life. She’s an unlimited fount of the Fairy Queen’s own power, allowed to do whatever she wants, and the Fairy Queen tells her to nurture life. Be fruitful, put good things in the world, help people grow. Their goal is to create, their magic is defensive, beauty is wonderful for its own sake. The better you are at respecting and nurturing life, the stronger your magic is. Dryads are responsible for the whole forest, and throughout the series they are seen as more powerful and serious than fairies, which can make the plants they interact with grow and hamadryads, who are connected only to their tree. Certainly more powerful than the petty, waterbound naiads. 

Ganalus’s speech to Seth about his own nature is where you can understand demons in this world. They like to destroy and torture, they find amusement in things like plague and clipping live beings to their belts and dragging them around. They are driven by the need for more power and control. Their nature is to harm and break apart, and that has its place in this world, but we care about the stuff and people here, so mortals and fairies have got to keep these punks in check.

And of course, the Fair Folk. Here’s where this triangle gets fun. The worst of the worst gets to be Demon King, the best of the best get stronger fairy powers. That means the most neutral of the neutral get to be the leader of the Fair Folk. We’ve heard references to the main city of the Fair Folk: Selona, somewhere in Europe, and a mysterious exert that I’ve seen images of with Lord Dagrel that I’m trying to pin down. I’m posing that their powers come from being neutral. They talk about the terrible consequences of the last time they went to war, what if it the equivalent of their fallen state, when they break their neutrality, and changes them fundamentally. 

This breaks down the most, but they are the Forgotten Crown for a reason. They hold themselves apart from issues of the other crowns. No one even remembers that they have a crown, because as Seth and Celebrant have shown, who cares? They aren’t going to do anything about it. Everyone collectively forgot/don’t care about them. But their abilities are equal in strength to the others, but different in use, and less valued by those who have battles to fight. Their neutrality puts them exactly between good and evil, creation and destruction. They take the choice not to act, and there is power there too. 

Next is the Terrain Creatures. 

Sky giants control the sky, obviously. Thronis and his ability to control the weather, their height, while their feet are on the ground, far as we know, everything important happens in the sky. 

Underking gets under the ground, again, obvious. Different from the other two points of the terrain triangle in that there is a lot of creature classifactions in their domain, but think of how big the surface of the earth is, underneath it, all theirs. 

Dragons, they dwell in the sky and below the surface, putting them in both. Water dragons and Dromadus both primarily function beneath the surface, and their wings let them be in the sky. while not stronger necessarily than the other terrain crowns in their own domains, they are top of the food chain for the creatures living on the ground, and could probably take out the undead that venture near the surface, and I have high hopes for seeing a Sky Giant v Dragon in the next book. 

Cool, we got our organization of information. We learn something about them based on their placements within the triangles. But is that our symbol? No! Symbols are different than graphs, we should be able to squeeze ridiculous amounts of meaning from them, and we aren’t done yet. The two triangles map really, really well together.

What does the placement of the two triangles together tell us about the individual components?

a WHOLE TON. This is what makes this symbol the most satisfying, the triangles create two separate categorizations of their powers and abilities, but they inform each other. The morality of the terrain beings, and the domains of morality beings. 

Dragons run the whole spectrum from creation to destruction. We see a lot more of the destruction dragons, because our kids are in a war, but Raxtus hits really close to the Fairies and can heal and grow with his breath weapon. We also have wizards, who chose mortality for the ability to use magic to create. All the way to effing Navarog, honorary demon. They run every shade of the creation/destruction spectrum. We also see dragons that don’t depend on destruction because we know that there are some that agreed to behave if it meant they weren’t shoved into sanctuaries. 

Sky giants, the group we know the least about, are good enough that their queen was deemed able to be the caretaker of a dragon sanctuary, so no inherent thirst for destruction and chaos. But they run the neutral side of creation, they weren’t going to step in to stop the demons, they like magic and creating from what we know of thronis, but they fit right here. 

Underking - fall between neutral destruction. The underking wasn’t orchestrating the opening of the demon prison. They crave life, its a food source, but more than that, they want to endure. They might fall closer to demons in their taste for extinguishing life, but they need their wanting of life to continue existing. They might have individual prizes and desires for life, but because they depend on wanting life for their own continued existence, they will never organize themselves into taking over the world. Congrats, you’re only half as destructive as demons.

The morality on the terrain is much easier to see blatantly. Fairies have wings, but in no way do they control the sky, and they live on the ground. Demons...I’m sure some of them fly, but they tend to prefer caves like Granulas and pits like Jubaya and Kurisok. Prefer the night, though the light doesn’t harm them. Fittingly, the Fair Folk do not have the ability to fly on their own, and they live on the ground, not under it. 

sO SATISFying how those fit together. Are you weeping yet? This is harmony on the organizational level. 

But I claimed this was the perfect symbol, the ultimate. There is one more layer describing how every piece relates to every other piece, per the best symbols. 

Opposites

This is the least defined level of interaction, and each line is unique, while still being opposite its counterpart. We’ll start with the ones we have the least information about and go from there. 

Demon/sky giant: We know nothing, at the moment. They have never commented on each other, and have never interacted. Why didn’t sky giants show up to the Zzyzx party? Who knows! So I’m going to speculate here, and propose that they just really can’t stand each other’s presence. Demons stay away from sky giants, because giants are way bigger than them, and it is hard to feel powerful when you only come up to their knee, and sky giants don’t like demons because...eww, demons. 

Fair Folk/Dragon: We know that there are Fair Folk at all seven dragon sanctuaries. We know that the Fair Folk were there long before the sanctuaries were created. Fair Folk neutrality let both parties trust the dragons to part of their watch. It also seems that Dragons have a very difficult time staying neutral. We’ve seen a lot of flavors of dragon, but the one flavor we haven’t seen, possibly by its nature, is a neutral dragon. The closest we came was Dromadus, who was an abstaining pacifist for two books, but kept lending help to the innocent and those aligned with the innocent. His neutrality broke literally the week someone asked him to break it.

 Fascinatingly, the talents of the Fair Folk are actually the closest analog to the breath weapons of the dragons. One unique ability, can be augmented by training, can do something unique to the characteristics of the user. This is enough to make their uses of magic foils for each other in ways that they can’t be with the other races. In fact, they take human shape, their wizards act a lot like the talents of the Fair Folk.

Their final opposite string: physical appearance. Fair Folk are attractive (symetrical) humans. Dragons are hulking reptiles of scale and claw meant to let everyone who can see them know who is the top predator around. Fair folk are disarmingly beautiful. 

Fairy/Underking: The dichotomy that we know the most about because it’s the one the protagonists find themselves on opposite side of. I could double the length of this post talking about these opposite foils, but this is already ridiculously long, so I’ll keep it brief. Consult upcoming thesis for full analysis.

Most obvious aspect of this line? They literally cannot co-exist, one must overpower the other. Nova Songs are consumed by darkness, while crown-fueled Kendra literally turns the undead into bones and dust. The darkness and light can’t balance like the demon cursed area + Fairy shrine stone did in Shadow Plague, there is no middle ground.

While fairies and demons make the creation-destruction spectrum, Fairy and Underking make the Life-death line. Unicorns, who have so much life and youth that lectoblixes overdose to death on them, and the undead that give up the joys light and live to continue. Because Death lasts as long as life. 

And finally my favorite line of opposites, their crowns functions in exactly the opposite ways. The under-crown does not share power. It accumulates, you become one of consciousness of the crown. They swallow you up, and you will never take power from them. They will continue. Meanwhile the Fairy crown has had several owners, as identified by Risenmay in dw2. And the Fairy Crown shares magic in a way that the other crowns don’t. The fairy Queen shared her magic with Kendra, yes, but she also shared it with her husband. All the male fairies fell with the Fairy King, turning permanently into imps. Unless the Fairy Queen isn’t being honest about how that happened, that meant that the male half of the kingdom was under the authority of her husband when he fell. Which makes sense for this crown. One person can’t make a new person on their own, they have to have a male and a female genetic coding. For the crown that is all about creating and preserving life, that power isn’t meant to be wielded alone. The Fairy crown can share, can give, while the Undercrown can consume and take. They are complete opposites in this.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading through this preliminary thesis. Counterpoints, additions, and commentary are welcome. I want to flesh this out a little more before sending my transcendent, beautiful, unifying symbol to Mull and have him announce that I have officially cracked the code. Really tho, the fact that I can pull this together into a unifying symbol is pretty cool in terms of Mull’s worldbuilding. 

Well...only works if he acknowledges the forgotten crown. Dragonwatch 5: the Crown of Selona. I can’t wait. 

[slifers-executive-writer]

My Thoughts on the Potential Personality of a Certain Pharaoh We Never Met

Hey guys...It’s been a while since I wrote something about YGO specifically and well since that is the main focus of this blog, I thought I’d create another discussion. 

This particular tidbit (more like a brain fart to be completely honest) is from scrolling through this website and other social media pages and therefore stumbling on the fandom making their theories and headcanons on what Atem’s true personality is. I think we have all seen the jokes on how we as a fandom like to write him off as this super gay, suave, smooth talking, prideful king. The counter argument I often see is that he is socially awkward, fumbling serial killer, with an identity crisis. All of these claims tend to be backed up by people recalling numerous amounts of the original source material from Mr. Takahashi, but sometimes I wonder what could have been. 

Popular headcanons asides (that means we are not using any ships and/or made up assumptions with no basis), let’s talk about this for a minute. What has Kazuki provided and what can we assume about Atem’s actual character. Despite being a 200+ episode anime, several movies, and over 30 volumes of manga, our favorite author has left a lot to be desired from this guy. Once we’ve discussed the material, I’ll make a personal evaluation of what Atem could have been like had we been able to meet him after he had retrieved all his memories.

Okay so perhaps the fandom is right about one thing, Atem started out as a borderline serial killer. Well, according to the manga, he has got quite a bit of red on his ledger with multiple violent injuries/deaths by his hands.

Right at the moment Atem’s spirit was reawakened by Yugi completing the Millennium Puzzle, we have an individual very determined to protect his vessel at any cost. Of course not without his own enjoyment in participating in his “Dark Games”. So we can tell Atem is very protective of Yugi, his group of friends, and generally any other innocent bystanders. We can argue he is a little over protective via his deadly methods but I guess it’s the thought that counts right?

Luckily for Atem’s victims, he stops his magically mind-fucking bullshit after the Duelist Kingdom arc. He never explains why he stops. Perhaps it has to do with his development as a character to not be as ruthless in an attempt to comfort Yugi.  

One attribute Atem does not lose throughout the series is when confronted with any sort of enemy, we see Atem is very confident in his abilities. Another thing the fandom got right is well... he is quite the smooth talker. Despite being from a completely different era, this guy always knows what to say to enemies and rivals alike. Not to mention his motivational speeches to his friends are always quite powerful. If anything I would almost consider Atem a bit of a life coach. He more or less helped raise Yugi and company into the individuals they become. 

Along with giving everyone their moments of support, Atem does a pretty good job blending in with modern society despite being locked up in his own head for thousands of years. I find some individuals, thinking Atem is a complete fumbling socially awkward dork and well, maybe not so much. Sure he has his moments, I think we can all look back on the ‘Date’ episode, but we have to look at which version we are watching/reading. For the sake of accuracy I tend to interpret the Japanese material as it is closest to the manga. As I said, Atem isn’t perfect, he can be very blunt to people when they ask him for an opinion (or telling people it’s the end of the world if he doesn’t win a card game), but I certainly wouldn’t consider him completely ‘socially awkward’ in general. 

But honestly that can be a whole other essay and I’m just talking about basic character traits overall. Now let us discuss some of Atem’s flaws.

So to make things easier, let us list the flaws as they appeared in both manga and anime:

When Shadi was first introduced to us (manga), we got a glimpse of seeing our favorite dark spirit sweat in the heat of a shadow game. It was revealed that Atem knew little of his true identity and sharing a Yugi’s body meant, that the two would share each others emotions. Moreover, this spirit had fears and doubts just like the rest of us.

As time passes we see more of Atem’s doubts emerge as he becomes more comfortable with Yugi and company, and therefore he expresses his confusion about his past. Where did he come from and who is he and such. This guy needs to have a sense of purpose and being Yugi’s guardian is fine, but at the end of the day, it would be best for him to become his own person.

There is another interaction in the manga (and in the Japanese version of the anime) that I found interesting. When Atem addresses this identity issue and whether his time on this plain is limited, Yugi kind pushes it off as something he doesn’t want to think about. The kid does it again (god I can’t remember exactly which arc this is, I wanna say DOMA), Atem mentions the issue and Yugi says “You can have my memories”. 

For fans of the pairing (to be honest I’m a boring canon-ish shipper so not my cup of tea, but I get it...this scene is pretty gay) this moment is viewed as tender love and care but I can’t help but notice a pattern and another character flaw. We have a guy with no memories of his own and having an identity crisis but every time he wants to discuss this issue, his best friend tends to push it away. I understand Yugi’s reasoning, that Atem is basically the catalyst for all the good things to happen in his life, but the constant ignoring of the problem for the first half of the series is borderline toxic. Furthermore, it shows Atem is a bit of an enabler when it comes to Yugi. Unlike Joey who loudly addresses the behavior to Atem’s face, Yugi finds comfort in it and for both of them it only makes the journey harder for them in moments of separation.

Just something I thought I’d bring up since I don’t see a lot of people talking about moments of toxicity in this friendship. Not that it is a bad thing, I find it quite interesting and realistic. Not all relationships with people are perfect.

Last by certainly not least, Atem’s biggest character flaw, is he is one prideful son of a bitch. Yes, I said it. He likes to complain a lot about his rival (Kaiba) about the characteristic when he is also guilty of it. It’s always duelist pride this and duelist pride that, when a lot of the times this bullshit is what almost gets people killed. Atem’s pride kind of ties in with the ruthlessness of his character, where in the ride to victory he sometimes forgets the people he defeats are still humans beings. Take the incident with Arkana, it took Yugi switching back to keep the guy from getting his legs cut off. (Move out the way Jigsaw, Atem is gunning for your spot.) 

But his pride works against him when individuals such as Yami Bakura and Dartz use their words to question his morality. What would Atem do just to obtain victory? While our hero tends to grow from these experiences and beat the bad guys in the end, it does not negate the fact that the pharaoh’s greatest strength also tends to be his greatest weakness.

Okay so I’ve gotten most of Atem’s characteristics down pat before he retrieves his memories. In summary here is a list of some of his qualities I’ve gathered from the source material.

PROS

-protective & caring nature

-generally is confident in his abilities

-good with his words, knowing when to pick someone up and put his enemies down

-Adapts to modern customs and his friends pretty well, especially for someone locked up in a pendant for so long

-easily takes a leadership role (probably a projection of his kingship past) although he is often humble about his status as pharaoh

-his pride keeps his head held high and rises above all challenges

CONS

-let’s be real the guy is incredibly blunt (this could be a pro or con depending on preference)

-can be an enabler to Yugi at times

-ruthless nature (let’s be real his kill count is like 5+ people in the manga, probably more)

-has an overall identity crisis

-tends to put others above himself, which at times can be toxic or detrimental to his character

-his own pride can be used against him, placing fear and doubt into his mind (DOMA was a great example of this)

I feel like every time Takahashi draws him in a new movie, he just adds more flair and muscles (not that I’m complaining)

So now we come to a head and the big question is what are we missing out on? Perhaps one of the reasons Yu-Gi-Oh DM has so much fanfiction and forums about it is the general sense of emptiness the ending of the series left behind. I think dub Tea put it best, (these are not the exact words, I’ve already spent an hour writing this) Atem was leaving us just as we were getting to know him. Finally a season where we get to see him as his own character, and honestly him fighting bad guys and dying for it, was not the way a lot of us would have wanted to see him go. Instead he comes back to duel Yugi but Atem feels so stiff and mysterious. The guy doesn’t even talk to the poor girl crying in front of him. This isn’t a guy who just wanted to up and leave from the get go. But now that he got the information he wanted, suddenly he just says fuck it and gives a thumbs up walking into the light? Nah. I’m sorry to say the Yu-Gi-Oh is not on my top list of anime endings, but it can be one of saddest. 

I often wonder time and time again, what would have Atem been like around his friends. Maybe he would have more of a sense of humor (like he was with Mana). Would he have more wisdom? Would he be more charming? These are just a few question I and many others have about our favorite pharaoh. But hey that’s what we have headcanons for right?

Now some of you may be wondering, especially as a fanfic writer, what are my own headcanons about Atem? As I mentioned before I guess you can say I’m boring, I prefer canon-ish ships and I try to keep my headcanons as much in line with the source material as I can. Of course I add a tad of my own flair to it so it isn’t completely the same. If anything I try to fix so of the errors I see in the original. 

My headcanon for Atem (post memories): A lot of the qualities I mentioned before would most likely remain the same, if not positively amplified. He certainly wouldn’t be as ruthless as he used to be, the anime/manga has shown his growth from that. He would definitely still be very protective of those he cared about. Although I can’t help but think that after remembering his past, he would carry himself in a regal manner. Possibly even without him noticing because he was raised from birth to become a king. Considering the strong connection with his father, I can see the guy having a keen sense for family bonding, perhaps even wanting one of his own. It is traditional for pharaoh to want to pass on their legacy. I’m also sure we all like to think the guy would be incredibly charming, considering how he always seems to know exactly what to say. Although he would still be blunt with his statements, he isn’t one to lie or hold back. If you ask Atem a question you will get the truth and the honest truth. Pride and honesty are incredibly important to him. While he respects honesty, I can imagine he would like to keep personal matters to himself and not worry others. If anything he would rather stay quiet than create a lie. Lastly considering how humble he tends to be with the people around him and how he values everyone as equals, I can see Atem being very open-minded to try new things and explore various ideologies. He would not judge, or have prejudice. He would be accepting and encourage others to be who they are as long as they were good people.

 Okay so maybe he would be low-key nervous around pets lol.

Well, that was longer than I planned it to be, but thanks for reading all that if you did. Feel free to add to the conversation or blow up my inbox!

[jkottke]

Sasha Baron Cohen Says Tech Companies Built the "Greatest Propaganda Machine in History"

In a keynote address to the Anti-Defamation League, entertainer Sasha Baron Cohen calls the platforms created by Facebook, Google, Twitter, and other companies "the greatest propaganda machine in history" and blasts them for allowing hate, bigotry, and anti-Semitism to flourish on these services.

Think about it. Facebook, YouTube and Google, Twitter and others -- they reach billions of people. The algorithms these platforms depend on deliberately amplify the type of content that keeps users engaged -- stories that appeal to our baser instincts and that trigger outrage and fear. It's why YouTube recommended videos by the conspiracist Alex Jones billions of times. It's why fake news outperforms real news, because studies show that lies spread faster than truth. And it's no surprise that the greatest propaganda machine in history has spread the oldest conspiracy theory in history- -- the lie that Jews are somehow dangerous. As one headline put it, "Just Think What Goebbels Could Have Done with Facebook."

On the internet, everything can appear equally legitimate. Breitbart resembles the BBC. The fictitious Protocols of the Elders of Zion look as valid as an ADL report. And the rantings of a lunatic seem as credible as the findings of a Nobel Prize winner. We have lost, it seems, a shared sense of the basic facts upon which democracy depends.

When I, as the wanna-be-gansta Ali G, asked the astronaut Buzz Aldrin "what woz it like to walk on de sun?" the joke worked, because we, the audience, shared the same facts. If you believe the moon landing was a hoax, the joke was not funny.

When Borat got that bar in Arizona to agree that "Jews control everybody's money and never give it back," the joke worked because the audience shared the fact that the depiction of Jews as miserly is a conspiracy theory originating in the Middle Ages.

But when, thanks to social media, conspiracies take hold, it's easier for hate groups to recruit, easier for foreign intelligence agencies to interfere in our elections, and easier for a country like Myanmar to commit genocide against the Rohingya.

In particular, he singles out Mark Zuckerberg and a speech he gave last month.

First, Zuckerberg tried to portray this whole issue as "choices...around free expression." That is ludicrous. This is not about limiting anyone's free speech. This is about giving people, including some of the most reprehensible people on earth, the biggest platform in history to reach a third of the planet. Freedom of speech is not freedom of reach. Sadly, there will always be racists, misogynists, anti-Semites and child abusers. But I think we could all agree that we should not be giving bigots and pedophiles a free platform to amplify their views and target their victims.

Second, Zuckerberg claimed that new limits on what's posted on social media would be to "pull back on free expression." This is utter nonsense. The First Amendment says that "Congress shall make no law" abridging freedom of speech, however, this does not apply to private businesses like Facebook. We're not asking these companies to determine the boundaries of free speech across society. We just want them to be responsible on their platforms.

If a neo-Nazi comes goose-stepping into a restaurant and starts threatening other customers and saying he wants kill Jews, would the owner of the restaurant be required to serve him an elegant eight-course meal? Of course not! The restaurant owner has every legal right and a moral obligation to kick the Nazi out, and so do these internet companies.

[ninja8tyu]

My therapist told me once that a lot of people see therapists, but it doesn’t seem like that because it’s not like people tell others about it.

Now that I’m writing this, I question why snapshoting your lunch is more interesting than therapy, but I digress.

I’m going to tell you about what it’s like to go see therapists. It isn’t as bad as others make it out to be, and it means nothing bad to go see one; only that you are taking care of your mental health. Push away people who say that you’re demented.

I went through multiple therapists through childhood. I was never told why, but I can deduce it.

If it wasn’t the autistic breakdowns and anger issues, along with constant bullying and disproportionate retaliation (I still think it’s fair), I have no clue.

But before I do go on wholesome journey, I’m going to give an example in my life where a therapist (if that was a therapist; my memory only recalls an interview-like room, but it’s indeterminate if it was a therapist or not, as it seemed to be more of a questioning and interrogation rather than the therapy I know of, but i suppose it still applies, as people around my age at the time, I feel, would feel uncomfy talking to adults (I’m more comfy talking to adults than kids my age, just to note, according to other people and personal affirmation) and a therapist may seem intimidating because of the age gap or size difference) basically contributed to my anxiety and distrust in everyone.

Not to bring hate to that therapist, but at the same time, go back to the kitchen bitch, but how this therapist destroyed my trust is basically because I made a terrible joke. Being autistic didn’t grant me the normal ability to determine what was okay to say in certain situations the moment I was born, and I had to learn it throughout life. I think I was frustrated with my mom over my computer (which now I realize how deep my addiction to the web goes) and joked about an elaborate plan that would hurt my mom if she took it away.

Now, this joke was a joke because it was impossible to pull at my age. Putting myself in her shoes, I wonder what she would be thinking. Did she take the joke too seriously? Did she actually consider a 7 year old a threat to human life? Fuck if I know, but my mom was contacted, and boy, did I stop trusting them then.

In defense of her, that was still a threat, and therefore better safe than sorry. In attack towards her, your idiocy fucked me up enough to not make proper use of mental health professionals. The defense is weak in that my threat was empty and fangless. Weighing the options, I think that the dumbest option was chosen (which is why I doubt her status as a therapist: she’s clinically retarded).

So because of that incident, I didn’t really had a fun time with therapists after a very long time, up until high school.

From what my therapist said, it seems like people like me make the mistake that seeing a therapist and/or taking medication is a magical cure to depression and all our personality problems. I can attest to that.

They do not engage in mind-control or the mystical arts. They are more like conversation partners than anything else.

The mistake we make is thinking that something else will solve our problem, but the truth is that the change we want has to come from us. The therapists and medicine helps to aid it, not make it come to be.

I didn’t think that medicine or therapy would help me though, as before high school, I believed that I was right the entire time, and the world was fucked up.

Well, the world is still fucked up, sharing some of the reasons why I believed why that is plus more, but not all of it that ended up to be delusions.

I spent my time telling the therapists how I’m right, and explaining my reasoning. Lucky that I didn’t pass them off as mind-controlled too, and tried to debate rather than go flat-earther over global morality. I guess I assumed that I was powerful enough to wipe mind control or I could appeal to their reason and emotion to destroy the control, assuming it was there. Fuck if I know. I wanna know what that little brat that was once me was thinking as well. But I digress.

The therapists I saw, the visits don’t really stick into my head, but I recall them always suggesting new possibilities in my head. Rather than linear thinking, they suggested other thoughts that might have occurred with others. Now that I’m typing this, I feel that something I might have done back then in response was “well, it’s a stupid way of thinking, and they should go die” which would explain why I didn’t just become a better person then. It’s because I was more smarter back then than now. I overthink and try to live in theory, rather than see and know what is in front of me, and living in the world I know I’m in. After all, I can’t apply “everyone has good will” when I’m living in “everyone is out to get you, literally, just check your memories and the fact that they’re still doing it”. But I digress.

Eventually, therapy stopped. If I ever went to see a therapist, it was because I was in trouble. Saw my counselor too, who basically acted like one.

Anxiety and depression basically were gangbanging me during the time, and I was controlled by constant fear and wanting to kill everyone the first chance I got where no one would be left surviving. Never happened for obvious reasons. Also, the US didn’t give me nuclear codes. Nor did ISIS give me an AK. No one trusts me with a weapon, which is oddly funny and annoying. But I digress.

My mental state went to shit. I remember reading in a report where it included a history of my past “misconduct”, one event that I found funny was the fact that they recorded a threat I made. It included ripping someone’s mouth off and shoving it in their ear so they could hear what they were saying. I hold my child self in high regard for this reason, but at the same time, I also want to shoot him for doing stupid shit that I wouldn’t do in clarity. He’s still a legend in my eyes, but I digress.

My counselor wasn’t a therapist, but damn did she pull me out of a portion of my depression. She played a major part for putting trust in other people. Depression and anxiety took over, I didn’t want to hold it in anymore, and so I told her that she thought I was a nuisance, that she should just stop pretending to be nice, and just toss me aside. She said that she did care for me, though in an angry voice. She was mad that I put words in her mouth. But her words told me that people weren’t all out to get me, and that I’m not hated behind everyone’s backs. I didn’t think and still do think that people can’t lie when they are angry like that.

Then high school came. I had just about it with depression, and I asked to go see a therapist for antidepressants. I didn’t really trust therapists that much still, but somehow, that step made me effectively use the help I got. But yeah.

My therapist noted how the first time I met her, I was like “I’m just here for my magic drugs. Nothing else.” Funny, looking back at it. The therapy helped more than the antidepressants.

I managed to convince my “drugs are brainwash” parents (who are stupid and easily manipulative (often exploited by my brother to make me feel worse), which, even if they disagreed, an annoying child begging for it will always win against such parents, and while it never got to that point, I got the help) to let me get antidepressants (due to cheap price, studying effects of it, also my therapist helped) to help me get better.

I asked someone on tumblr as an anon who I knew was taking antidepressants, and the key thing I took was that the drug is not going to instantly cure me. It isn’t an instant happy pill. It’s a clutch that helps you move through life. Some people even life with depression, never really getting rid of it completely, but they learn to live with it regardless.

My experience with taking antidepressants were introductory, or for mild depression (just to note, I have dysthymia). It made me less dead on the inside. Didn’t make me happy, but I noticed a lack of apathy. 

I don’t think the drugs worked because of my more severe depression, and the more obvious reason: my family was making me miserable and suicidal.

You can’t get over depression when people are continuing to put you down. I’m finding a fond interest in murder and torture because of them. I want to get over it, but if I have a toxic family who counteracts any help I get to my mental state, then what’s the result going to be? Hint: I don’t get better.

Family therapy is out of the question, and getting professional help for the biggest fucker contributing to it (brother) is too, since “mind-control” and “government conspiracy” and “I’m crazy, literally, being autistic and all”. So yeah. 17 years wasted wallowing in depression because of a shitty state in a shitty country and shitty family. If I haven’t expressed my rage for my family and those who have made me miserable enough, just take it as true that if I have the ability to, I would enact something that would put a number of people countable on two hands through the type of hell that rivals the holocaust and gulags with their tens of millions of people who suffered in terms of inhumanity and immorality. I digress.

And then I cut myself for the first time. Thanks to my big brother. My mental state was no longer stable, and also the start of when I get kicked out of two discord groups consecutively.

I was still too scared to tell my therapist more about my life out of fear that I’d be sent to a mental hospital, so I went onto the internet, where I could vent about my problems and express my rage anonymously and safely (ignoring hackers and the like).

During this time, I learned a lot of things that really hit me and hurt damn badly, and I couldn’t really blame half of them because it was quite literally caused by me. Venting around on the web didn’t turn out so good.

I’m worth no more than shit to someone I know to be intelligent, whom I had assumed before then that only geniuses could understand the pain I went through. The person here also went through rough shit, possibly worse than I ever had. I had no excuse nor explanation to myself why this is other than that it is what it is, and what is, is that I’m worth below that of manure.

Then I joined a community full of degenerates. The thing that hits me lightly is that I got rejected by a bunch of misfits in society, who are literal nazis, hypocrites, criminals, rejects, et cetera. I want a majority of the people in there dead. I learned a few things like that the people with power are the people you must obey, or you will suffer. I learned that corruption isn’t given a damn about. Systems will gladly run on immorality, so long as it isn’t moral yet. I earn that people are actually willing to us any amount of effort to put up facades to be nice while they absolutely despise you behind their backs.

Alternate accounts let me find some of things people have said while I was banned. I hated it.

I’m pretty sure some of my fits of rage online are on some cringe comp, but I digress.

And then my weekly visit with my therapist came around. My mental state becoming worse and worse, starting with my brother who actively makes me miserable, to being banned from places I felt belonging to because of my mental instability, I had no fear of going to a mental hospital.

Better there than with a shitty family that makes me miserable. I couldn’t care less what drugs they inject into me, so long as it helps me.

I walked in, telling her that I no longer fear going to a mental hospital. I’m going to be honest. There is nothing good left to lose. Just the bad is left to lose, and I’m begging on the inside to lose them.

And then I cried. Told her about how I felt worthless, powerless, useless, a waste, how miserable my life felt, and so on and so on.

I expressed my rage, and how I hated them. I wanted them dead. I never deserved this. What did I do to deserve this? Why give birth to me to make me go through hell? I never asked to be born, and yet people are treating me as if I decided to be born in hell.

Yeah, death threats I made. I’m lucky my therapist didn’t just call the FBI and sick ‘em on me. She was understanding, and knew I was going through a bad time. Not everyone gets the same treatment, I understand, but I have a point here.

The thing I feel about letting it all out, is that because I let it all-out, I’m open to judgement, and therefore correction. My therapist talked with me, I put out my thoughts, she did hers, and the problems begin to become solved. Though, having an interest in psychology and sharing basic knowledge of it helped exponentially. Also, working on emotional intelligence helped too.

I feel that most people don’t really talk about their problems, and they never resolve themselves. They may hold some kind of opinion or thought that would be really bad to have if a situation popped up where they applied that. And when it pops up, they then make a bad decision. But of course, they can’t talk to anyone about them out of fear of judgement.

I feel that therapy works best when you’re honest and unafraid of judgement. You have to be willing to put out your thoughts and let them be vulnerable, and accept when you’re wrong. Also, mental hospitals aren’t that bad, apparently. They do inject strong drugs for people with certain conditions, but that’s because they’re fit to deal with side-effects better than at home or in a standard check-up hospital. Other people’s words, not mine. I haven’t been to one yet.

For me, my problem was to come to terms with the world I believe to be corrupted, and personal problems. I asked why are there killer cops? Why on Earth is the school system built where it rewards bullies but punishes victims? What is the universal cause that turns people bad? Am I the bad guy?

My solution was to let my thoughts be open to be judged and criticized. And it worked for me.

I think I should say that it may not work for you if you go see a therapist. It may not be the best person that would help you, or that you still need time to mentally prep yourself.

As for me, I’m probably not going to see my therapist any more. I’m scare that she’s putting up a kind facade, but actually hates me. I don’t want to be a bratty nuisance that still couldn’t get better after two years and coming back to old issues. I just fear that being true.

My mental state is beginning to deteriorate as a result of being stuck at home with a mentally and emotionally abusive family over the summer. I had starved myself for a short duration (~16 hrs) before realizing that was stupid, and I was basically suggesting to kill my body in an attempt to prove a point (a human can last months without food, but it wouldn’t be worth losing brain development time, especially my life, since I know they wouldn’t be more nicer even if I starved myself).

Also, still no psychiatrist visit for some fucking reason. Medicine can help, but with a family that thinks drugs are products of the devil, it’s more likely for me to go on a psychosis than them ever consider that drugs aren’t that bad. Also, fuck the US for putting a bad name on drugs and the drug war. Literally, not even medical drugs like antidepressants that can help people get better are safe from the toxic culture it bred. Also fuck DARE. You increased drug addiction. Go fuck yourselves. Also fuck the cops for being biased against the mentally ill and the “special” ones. Fuck the system for the same reason. Fuck the world for still thinking they’re morally upright when they still do immoral acts. Fuck the people who let it happen for any reason. Fuck this snowflake society that can’t do anything but complain, because a revolt would be too much work for their fragile asses. Fuck the political system and the government for working based on who pays the most, seldom morality and justice. Fuck my family for being stupid and abusive. Fuck society and how they think that if it isn’t the worst that it could be, then you have no right to complain and correct your problems. Fuck political correctness and how it prioritizes being unoffensive over actually solving problems. Fuck the UN for being incompetent.

[shirtlesssammy]

2x15: Tall Tales

Then:

The biggest prank Sam Winchester ever pulled was rocking those bangs, amirite? 

Now:

On a dark and wintery evening, a college professor, walking to his office, *notices* (gross dude) a female student and asks if she needs any help. She wants to meet with him now and after a brief hesitation, he eyes her up again and invites her into the building. Once upstairs, the young woman confesses she’s not one of his students. “Really? Then why are you here?” His face falls almost immediately, and she just stares and then insists on leaving. He’s “somewhat of a celebrity” but rebuffs her advances (but pulls her closer, fondles her hair, and kisses her.)

When he pulls away, the woman’s face has transformed and the man recoils in horror.

Downstairs, the janitor is just locking up for the night. As he walks away from the building, the professor falls from the building, landing with a splat on the ground.

A week later, Sam and Dean are staying at one of their more shady hotels from the early years. Sam is busy reading while Dean eats greasy food on Sam’s bed and listening to music. The brothers are at each other's’ throats. Sam’s pissed about his computer and Dean’s pissed about his car. Bobby arrives to break up the happy party. It seems they’re stumped about the case of the suicidal professor. 

In a flashback, Sam and Dean pose as reporters to get the lowdown on the possible haunted university building. (Lol, the professor was an Ethics and Morality professor.) Sam learns that the urban legend says a spurned lover from 30 years ago haunts the place and anyone who sees her doesn’t live to tell the tale. Dean drinks Purple Nurples. Dean is also attempting to reel in a “feisty little wildcat”, Starla. Starla meets Sam and then vomits in her mouth. Lovely. Dean is excited. Sam is UNIMPRESSED.

Back in Present Day, Dean denies this story completely. Well, not the Purple Nurples. And Not-Starla “was a classy chic.”

In Dean’s flashback, he tells his version of the story. Not-Starla is a grad student, and between purple shots, Dean and Not-Starla discuss local ghost stories. Dean thinks himself such a sauve son of a bitch. “My god, you are attractive.” Not-Starla is speaking for the world. Dean tries to stay on task, but Not-Starla is mesmerized, and they soon start kissing.  

A high-key annoyed (and annoying) Sam interrupts them. Dean ignores him.

Present Day Sam denies all of it. Bobby wants to know what’s really going on.

Sam’s flashback reveals they visit the professor’s office. The janitor lets them take a look around. And he reveals that he’s the one that found him. Dean stuffs his face with candy (“C’mon, I ate one, maybe two.”)

The janitor also mentions seeing a young woman enter with the professor, but never leave. Back at the hotel, the boys break down all the false leads -no EMF, no sixth floor. Dean suggests researching the history of the building. Sam instantly opens his laptop and finds it frozen on Busty Asian Beauties. Dean slinks away.

In Present Day, Sam says that there’s no information on a suicidal coed. The story gets weird though. They flashback to Curtis, one of the students Sam interviewed at the bar, is walking alone at night and appears to be abducted by aliens. In the present day, Bobby is dubious.

Bobby: Aliens?

Sam: Yeah

Bobby: Aliens!?

Dean: Yeah

Sam and Dean know it’s not real, but talk to him all the same. Curtis is reluctant, but off the record, he recounts what he can remember from his abduction. There were tests, probing, and slow dances to Lady in Red.

Dean’s face was a mess of emotion during this story. Bobby thinks the kid is nuts, but Sam and Dean think otherwise after finding a saucer shaped disc on the campus lawn.

They keep digging and interview more students. Sam gets super emotional trying to help a student. (He does not.)

The student thinks Curtis deserves what he got for being a hard pledgemaster.

Back at the hotel room, Dean concludes that the connection between the two victims is that they’re both dicks. While Dean’s expounding on his theory, Sam checks the room for his laptop. When he can’t find it, he goes off on a rant about all of Dean’s worst habits and...vaguely threatens the Impala (in the way of siblings). Poor Bobby, meanwhile, is stuck parenting these two yahoos. Bobby coaxes the rest of the story from them with eye rolls miraculously held in check.

The last victim was a scientist who tried reaching for a gold watch in the sewer drain, only to have his arm chewed off by something snarly. When Sam and Dean broke into the morgue to check out the guy’s body, they discovered just sparse grisly remains to examine. Gross. Sam discovers a belly scale stuck in the man’s flesh...a belly scale from an alligator. (My headcanon is that Sam used to watch nature shows while Dean and their dad went on hunts, which is how he knows what a friggin’ gator belly scale looks like.)

Dean checks out the sewer ready to hunt some gators, and when he comes up empty, he heads back topside. Only once he gets back on the street and heads back to Baby, he finds all his tires are flat and there’s a money clip with S.W engraved on it on the ground. Dean grabs the money and heads into the hotel room full steam ahead. He confronts Sam about letting all the air out of his tires, waving Sam’s money clip around. Sam’s shocked, denies the accusations, and demands his money back. This devolves into juvenile wrestling over the money clip and...we’ve looped back to the beginning of the episode.

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Bobby says. He scolds both Sam and Dean and informs them that they’ve been hoodwinked by ...a trickster!

“That’s what I thought,” Dean says. Dean. Bean.

Bobby tells them that tricksters make trouble as easy as breathing and it’s been turning the two brothers against each other to put them off of their scent. “Tricksters target the high and the mighty, knock them down a peg, usually with a sense of humor.” (And a good side of DEAD.) Sam and Dean think about all the commonalities between their three cases and then remember the janitor…

Cut to the janitor’s apartment. He’s got a cute pup. Good music. An actual over-the-top buffet of sweets and then… “Something’s missing,” the trickster muses just before he conjures two women to share the bounty of desserts.

The next day Sam and Dean head up into a university building with the janitor aka trickster on a flimsy pretext. Sam splits away and investigates the janitor’s locker. He finds an issue of the Weekly World News in there. A little while later Sam and Dean argue over needing more proof than just a tabloid while the trickster smirks from a window above them. Sam implores Dean to wait until he gets back to fight the trickster.

Dean waits until nightfall and then says “Screw this,” and heads inside to take out his target. He pulls out a giant stake and then hears music. Dean opens the door to see a theater and on the stage, two scantily clad women recline on a lavish red bed. A disco ball whirls overhead. “This isn’t real,” he tells them, but they assure him that it’ll feel real. WINK WINK.

Dean is tempted. MAN, is he tempted. But he’s gotta keep his eyes on the prize. He turns around to find the trickster sitting in the audience seating. The trickster tells him that he can have the women and the deluxe orgy setting while the trickster skips town. Dean tells him that he likes his style, but he’s gonna have to pass.

MUAHAHAHA, the trickster essentially says. “You shouldn’t have come alone.”

Dean agrees. Enter Sam AND Bobby - both armed with trickster-killing stakes. The fight that Sam and Dean staged was just a diversion. “Wanna see a real trick?” the trickster asks. He conjures two chainsaw psychos and supercharges the women, whaling on all three of our guys.

Dean stabs the trickster and then the women and chainsaw killers disappear. The Winchesters and Bobby race out of the building and hop into the car, eager to leave the body behind. Sam and Dean share hasty apologies over the hood of the car. (Bobby: D’aaaaww.) The Impala drives away with a rumble…

Back in the theater, someone saunters up to the trickster’s body. As we watch, the stabbed body disappears and the camera pans up to reveal the trickster - alive and well!

The Quotester:

If no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?

I don’t know man, I think they’re called Purple Nurples

Sorry, I just can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun.

Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don’t have time for any of your blah blah blah.

He got more ass than a toilet seat.

You gotta give those purple nurples a shot.

I’m here for you, you brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain.

These punishments...they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still…

Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig.

If you two bothered to pull your heads outta your asses, it all would have been pretty clear.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[queenieships]

What's up pals get ready for some Bubba HCs cuz sometimes you just wanna remodel and claim a popular fictional killer as your bf. @xeensbin this is all your fault.

Some of the HCs get kinda nsfw so haha you've been warned 👌

I've read up a fair bit about the movies and honestly there is just a jumble of different canons. I'm kind of just picking out bits I like and making this big boi dateable.

Essentially the Sawyer family run a small town in Texas. They're almost Mafia like in how it's run. Everyone in the town listens to and respects them, turning a blind eye and occasionally helping in their terrifying acts.

They often prey on people visiting the town, stopping for gas or a bite to eat. Other than that people in the town who anger the family end up on the chopping block.

Bubba is essentially their muscle. The youngest brother but the biggest, he can and will take down just about anyone. Though his personality has a sweet and shy side to it, due to his towering physique, being predator rather than prey comes natural to him.

He doesn't approve of his families actions and would love to live a normal life. He has never attempted to leave or change things however because he know the only way to escape would essentially be to kill his whole family. AND regardless of how flat out terrifying and disgusting they are, he is more or less wrapped around each one of their fingers and will do anything they ask, especially his mamma.

He's completely mentally able (a change from most of his canon interpretations) but he does struggle with some anger issues. That and being around death and like. The most disgusting acts of immorality since the day he was born has led to him being highly desensitized to traumatic things. Though he is afraid of dying, he also knows that he's one of the biggest guys around and stronger than just about anyone so he doesn't shy away from physical challenges.

He's very tall and built like a brick house. Broad and a bit chubby but overwhelmingly strong (especially in the arms) - he has tanned skin with a wine spill birthmark over most of the right side of his face. He isn't particularly attractive, having sunken and tired eyes, a late round nose and very thick eyebrows and ears that stick out. He has nice lips though, v plump. His hair is dark, messy and wavy, not too short but not long either. He has a small amount of facial hair and a fair amount of body hair.

In dead by daylight (the universe in which I ship with Bubba), he is probably the most uncomfortable and startled out of all the killers. In his everyday life he kills and eats people not because he necessarily wants to but because that's just the life he has to live. Now he's in a situation where his family has no control over him but now instead he is being overseen by something called the Entity.

He really longs to live for himself and make his own choices but in reality he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Bubba has lived under his family's control for so long and has lived in a town that revolves solely around the Sawyer families existence that leaving that bubble would be jarring. Going from a cannibalistic murderer in a place where your actions are never punished to trying to be your everyday guy is a bit of a challenge.

He's arguably one of the most terrifying killers to come up against. Once he has a hold of you then you are NOT wiggling free and his strength is Herculean. And yknow, big guy with a mask made out of human skin and he'd wielding a chainsaw??? SCARY.

For the most part he goes along with this strange game the Entity has set up because... He doesn't know what else to do. Like I said, being a predator comes natural to him. Though he feels a small amount of remorse for those he kills, it doesn't make him hesitate.

Queenie is the only survivor he has a genuine soft spot for. At first it was just physical. He found himself staring and more or less enraptured whenever he saw her. Small, soft and curvy with a plump figure and a pretty cherubic face??? Dear God. He dwarfs her in size and he can't help the inappropriate thoughts that cross his mind.

After a few times of facing off against Bubba, his favouritism becomes obvious. He never attacks Queenie with his chainsaw and often gives her chances to escape or to rescue her fellow survivors. There are times where he's found her working on a generator and he's just loomed over her, knowing his job is to attack but not wanting to.

Of course it is uncomfortable on Queenie's end, though it's not like she isn't grateful. Leatherface goes from being a feared opponent to a preference for the survivors as long as Queenies around because- even though he only takes it easy on her - it also means they're more likely to be rescued or to escape.

Eventually his reluctance to harm Queenie becomes a mind boggling topic to the survivors. Most just think he doesn't want to hurt a pretty girl. It certainly intrigues Queenie and it makes her think about his humanity and morality.

It gets to the point where she even tries talking to him. The first few times he's so shocked he doesn't respond but soon if becomes one word answers and eventually sentences.

He has a small lisp as well as a nervous stutter so. Talking is not his strong suit though it's something he really wants to do. He's never really had the chance to share opinions or just... chat before.

It's not like they just have nice little conversations or anything, he is trying to kill her friends - but it's enough to create a wedge in Bubba's willingness to kill the other survivors and it also becomes a tactic for the survivors to escape him

YEAH they use Queenie as a distraction. Or more or less just send her to woo him, to calm him down, to convince him.

In the end they have a conversation of Queenie asking him questions, prying about why he does what he does. His responses are that of someone who is ashamed and she can see a person in There, like a genuine human being. So she invites him to join them as a survivor and to stop being a killer.

He refuses at first, stunned and overwhelmingly shocked by her offer. Though he wants nothing more than to say yes he questions if he really could, if the Entity would allow it, if the other survivors would allow it.

Eventually however he does decide to join them, becoming a mystery to the group. Though he appears to be helpful and wanting to redeem himself they are on constant edge that this behemoth of a man could one day turn around and just slaughter them all.

Also constant jokes of comparing cannibalism to oral and whatever???? (Queenie: he isn't going to kill us. Do I look like I've been eaten?? Survivor: hah, YEAH, EATEN OUT MAYBE. GOT 'EM)

Their strange relationship becomes something of an endearing curiosity to the others. It can only be comparable to something like beauty and the beast, king Kong and... yknow... beauty. (Always beauty for some reason. Huh.) But Queenie really seems to be the only who genuinely trying to understand and include Bubba. She saw a glint of humanity in him and wants to coax it out and to nurture it, change him for the better.

But she's also into big, gross guys so that might also have something to do with it.

Though Bubba tries to act like a gentleman, he just cannot help the fact that he finds Queenie insanely attractive and is constantly just thinking about touching her and being on top of her, what expressions she would make if he was ever to kiss her, how soft and warm she'd be - some of his fantasies are a little less than sanitary and nothing he would ever want to voice out loud. It literally ranges from just wanting to kiss her, to thinking about having sex, to judt the dirtiest, most disgusting and degrading fucking possible. He is ashamed of his own thoughts often.

But idk guys please just accept this ship between this 4'11 soft girl and this near on 7ft tall cannibal murder boi.

[youngcebuanainmanila-blog]

Wonderful Journey

“And life is a road that I wanna keep going Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey”

-  Donna Lewis and Richard Marx, At the Beginning

 I was sentimental last May 24, 2017, the first day of the Regional Science Camp or RSC. RSC was a two-day event held in Minglanilla Central School, Minglanilla, Cebu. It was filled with science activities and fun interactive workshops. As we sang the song, I contemplated the scene that laid before me. The participants looked tired while singing. The parents and teachers kept on taking pictures and videos. We, the organizers, locked our arms while also singing on the stage. I then realized how much things have changed and how far we have reached. Contrary to the lyrics of the song, I did not want to keep going.

I joined the Leadership Training Seminar that was organized by the Philippine Society of Youth Science Clubs, Inc. (PSYSC) last July 2016 in Davao City. It was simultaneous with the National Youth Science, Technology and Environment Summer Camp (NYSTESC), a national event that was also organized by PSYSC. Because of the concurrence of the two events, we were immersed with the college volunteers who facilitated NYSTESC in order to assist in the management of the camp. Our seminar concluded with a project presentation of possible events or activities that we must accomplish in our respective regions.

Being the representative of Region VII, I thought of having a regional event for elementary pupils. The idea was still vague and I was not sure of what it would be about.

September 2016 came. I was elected as the chairperson for the PSYSC Regional Council VII. I was on my second year as the president of Einstein Club, which was hailed as the country’s Most Outstanding Science Club of 2015. Einstein Club was our school’s only science club. I was hesitant in the beginning because holding both positions at the same time could mean sacrificing my good standing in class. But, I later ascertained that I must accept and do my responsibilities. Teachers, classmates, schoolmates and even newly found friends from other institutions believed in me. I should definitely believe in myself.

The preparations and planning for RSC were difficult. As high school students, we were clueless of the permits and letters that must be accomplished prior to holding such event. We had to contact each DepEd division office in the region. We had to constantly check our e-mail accounts for replies we prayed would arrive. We had to find suppliers for the medals, trophies, freebies and snacks. We had to check the venue and plan the schedule of activities. Instances came when we wanted to give up but we found moral support in one another. The thought that we may be the hope for the public to understand science, technology and the environment better pushed us to move forward. I learned that better days do come.

PSYSC Regional Council VII and Einstein Club organized RSC with the assistance of my batchmates in school. I initially doubted my batchmates for I assumed that they would not like being part of such tiresome work. I presumed that they would prioritize their academic requirements over any extra-curricular activity. I was wrong. Most of them shared my thoughts of serving others by imparting knowledge and connecting to the younger generation. Together, we learned to value collaboration and time management. There were financial troubles, internal conflicts and anomalies along the way but we managed to solve them with constant communication and understanding. I now believe that those issues arrived to strengthen our bond as a batch.

RSC took place. Things changed progressively from the first to the second day. The smiling faces of the participants as they enjoyed doing the activities became more evident. The friendships that blossomed as the facilitators and participants worked together became more noticeable. The novel insights and ideas that the participants, parents and teachers grasped became more apparent. RSC made us feel sincerely delighted and fulfilled.

RSC was not perfect. Teachers and parents made positive and negative remarks. They were not in favor of the schedule wherein most of the activities were done in the morning. They commented about the venue, stage and audio-visual preparations. However, in its overall, it was still a huge success. It was the very first regional science camp in Central Visayas for Grade 5 and Grade 6 pupils with over 200 participants. It was not bad for an event mainly organized by high school students. I knew then that everything has a room for improvement.

RSC helped me get a grip of the thing that I have been searching for since my first year in high school–contentment. Many students today use the phrase “Acads are life.” Well, I used to uphold this as my motto but my beliefs changed through the years. It is undeniable that academics have a huge part in one’s life. They affect, or even dictate, the path that one takes. However, I now believe that academics are not and will never be life.

I was not happy for the first three years of high school when I focused entirely on maintaining a very good standing in class. Nevertheless, I found further motivation and fortitude when PSYSC and Einstein Club came to my life. After every innovation, community project, outreach program and event, I was always delighted. Witnessing the activities become successful and the participants form smiles made me genuinely happy. Since then, I managed to maintain good standing not only in class but also in the hearts of those around me. I knew that RSC, Einstein Club and PSYSC transformed me into being a person for others.

“I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

In the end I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you”

I knew why these lyrics made me sentimental. It was because I was singing this song with the people whom I shared memories with since 2012. RSC had been the biggest project that our batch did together. The song made me realize that we had one more year left – just one more year to study, bond and strive as one.

I was not yet ready to keep going and bid others good-bye. 

College is a new journey for some but I will consider it as a continuation of a journey that started many years back – the journey of meeting people, acquiring knowledge and experiencing moments.

[lacepockets]

Nonsense from my zodiac natal chart

Because astrology is my biggest guilty pleasure  (´w｀*)

This is very very long so no one has to read it if they don’t want, but I find that it’s strikingly accurate, so if you wanna know my personality in excruciating detail go for it!

Birth Date: 17 June 1989 Birth Time: 9:56 AM Sun Sign: Gemini Ascendant Sign: Leo Moon Sign: Sagittarius

— Sun in Gemini —

With the Sun in Gemini, the urge for self-expression is strong. These natives are often just as interested in collecting information as they are in sharing it. Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie.

Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Their ability to adapt quickly to new situations generally gains them plenty of friends and social contacts. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation.

Often quite adept at fitting in with others, Geminis easily adopt the moods of those around them. They are friends to people from all walks of life, and are not easily intimidated. Their ability to detach themselves can make Geminis very objective and observant, but a little difficult to get close to.

It can be difficult to know what Gemini really feels at any given moment. They are often very impressionable and scattered. There is usually a nervous air to Geminis that can make more personal characters a little uneasy. Many people with this position of the Sun have gained quite a bit of knowledge in their lifetimes, but they don't often possess specialized knowledge. This is because Geminis have relatively short attention spans. Restlessness is especially common with this position of the Sun. They lack persistence in achieving set goals.

Usually quite affable, Geminis enjoy the "light" side of life. This tendency to take things lightly makes them quite pleasing to be around; but it can be maddening to people seeking support on the deeper issues in life. Geminis are both interesting and interested. Their wit can be dazzling and their changeability dizzying. At the very least, Geminis will seldom bore you.

— Sun in XI —

You are a humanitarian who aims to treat everyone as equals. You seek to be unique and original, and you do your best to avoid bias and prejudice. Social status is less important to you than belonging to a group of diverse personalities. Your identity, in fact, is somehow linked to a larger unit than yourself. You have magnetic appeal, as people sense your broad tolerance and openness. The friendships you establish are crucial to your development. If you identify too much with your friendships and your friendliness, you may become too impersonal and alienate those who would like to get close to you.

— 171 Conjunction Sun - Jupiter —

Endowed with generosity and friendliness, you're generally not very competitive, and for the most part not combative either. As a result, you are usually well-liked. You are usually good-hearted, possessing strong morals and much faith in life and in people. You prefer to find the good in situations and in people. You don't have a lot of patience with those who break the rules, as you generally believe in order, equality, and the law. You usually make good on your promises, and the sincerity you exude can be trusted. You are quick to chuckle and can't resist any appeal to your sense of humor. Some people with this aspect are downright jolly. Others are less conspicuous, but their faith in life and willingness to find humor in life are nevertheless obvious.

— -50 Opposition Sun - Uranus —

It can be quite a challenge to get you to do what you don't want to do. You are a very dynamic person who questions tradition and authority, yet, paradoxically, you can be quite set in your ways! You can have a lot of nervous energy and defensiveness. It can be difficult to hold a 9 to 5 job or to develop steady routines. You work best when you can manage your own schedule, and you work in spurts. When you are hit with creative inspiration, you are capable of tremendous effort. However, you can be quite temperamental, and it is very hard for you to pour your hearts and souls into something that you don't "feel" for at the moment. You don't like superficiality or pretense, which is an admirable trait. However, your disdain for pretense can be problematic in a world where people are expected to perform whether they are inspired or not!

— Moon in Sagittarius —

There's a bit of a teacher in Moon in Sagittarius, and definitely a helpful spirit. They easily forget appointments and the like, and some are even considered irresponsible. However, it is hard to stay angry at a Lunar Sagittarian! They are so cheerful and upbeat, and their optimism is catchy. When the going gets tough, these people run away. They don't like to be caught up in routine for too long, and they simply need to escape. There's a blind faith in Lunar Sagittarians that is admirable. They simply believe that everything will work out. Not much for making detailed plans, people with Moon in Sagittarius prefer to wing it. They're very adaptable and generally on the go.

— Moon in IV —

You like family life, peace and quiet -- you like to stay at home, surrounded by loved ones, in agreeable circumstances. You long for a sense of true belonging, but you may be quite restless in your search. You might change residence frequently, or simply feel the need to make many changes in your home. You might want to treat it as a symptom of emotional unrest--as a sign that you are in a constant search for the perfect mood and setting, when in fact a feeling of belonging should be worked on from the inside out, not the outside in! Some of you might remain rather immature on an emotional level, never wanting to truly grow up and take care of yourself. Attachments to your past, traditions, and family are strong.

— Venus in Cancer —

Love for Venus in Cancer is best when it is committed and rather predictable. They are big on romance and tend to live and breathe their partner once they're hooked. Not the best at defining their boundaries -- where their needs and their partner's needs separate -- they can get hurt in love rather easily; these people are sensitive in love. You may even say their egos are a little underdeveloped when it comes to love, but they have a lot to give in return: namely, security, comfort, and care. Venus in Cancer men and women show their love by caring for you. They pay more attention to your feelings than your words, and observe you rather carefully. They want a safe, solid relationship. They can be a little moody in love, and some go so far as giving silent treatments and engaging in pouting routines to get attention from their mate. They are turned off by anything impersonal, and too much rationalizing leaves them cold. If you've hurt them, they'll have a hard time forgetting. Every so often, they'll retreat into themselves (not unlike a Crab), and it can be difficult to pull them out. Regardless, they are an unceasingly patient, dependable, and loving mate.

— Ascendant in Leo —

Leo Ascendant people are very self-aware and body-conscious. They are given to rash decisions, temper tantrums, and excesses. The tendency to overestimate things, and themselves, is generally present. This is due to a natural enthusiasm and optimism about any new undertaking. Sometimes, they are walking commercials. Usually, they choose clothing and hairstyles that are youthful.

No matter their age in real-world terms, Leo rising people are kids at heart. They are fun-loving and warm; generous and spirited. They have a natural flair for presentation, an eye for quality, and a hard-to-resist warmth of style.

—  House II in Virgo —

With this House in Virgo, people are generally hedonistic and materialistic.  Harmony and peace is very important--however, they are often jealous and insecure in both friendships and love.

—   House XI in Gemini —

Likes meeting, and ceaselessly discussing with well-informed people, full of ideas. Problems only come from the family.

[newsbiteswithjennysok]

Nov 13, 2019

1. Demi Lovato appears to be off the market. The “Sorry Not Sorry” singer posted a photo of model Austin Wilson giving her a kiss on Instagram Tuesday night with the caption, “My [heart emoji].”

Wilson, 25, also shared another mirror selfie of him and Lovato, 27, with the caption, “My love.” Fans and friends of the pop star immediately congratulated her on her new relationship.

Actress Debra Messing commented under the photo, “Gorgeous.” Stylist Maeve Reilly wrote, “Ohhhh there they are.” It is unclear how long Lovato and Wilson have been dating or how they met. A rep for Lovato could not be reached for comment.

However, Wilson recently shared a tribute on Instagram to Lovato’s friend Thomas — who died in October after a battle with addiction — so it seems Wilson and Lovato share the same circle of friends. Lovato was most recently linked to “Bachelorette” alum Mike Johnson. The pair shared a few flirty exchanges on social media over the summer, but the romance ultimately fizzled out after Johnson, 31, opened up about their private dates and revealed Lovato is a “really good kisser.” Lovato also famously dated Wilmer Valderrama for six years, but the couple split in June 2016. They have remained good friends.

2. Lamar Odom’s son, Lamar Morales-Odom Jr., called out his dad on Instagram following the former NBA baller’s announcement that he is engaged to Sabrina Parr.

“Not a [text] or phone call to see how people who’ve known this dude his whole life, to see how we would feel or react,” Morales-Odom, 17, wrote in a now-deleted Instagram comment Monday night. “knew shawty for 4 months and already got you twisted, fam n friends already don’t approve of homegirl but she already got your ass in a sunken place. Shame family gotta find out on social media but that’s been how life been all the time as a son of an odom.”

The former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant, 40, took to Instagram to reveal his engagement, apparently before sharing the news with family and friends.In an apology from his son, the young Odom recognizes he went too far while admitting his frustration with being kept out of important events and decisions in his father’s life.

“Last night I was emotional seeing my father got engaged through social media,” Morales-Odom wrote Tuesday morning. “I was hurt and caught off guard. At the end of the day, I am a teenager, that is becoming a young man. I have to be responsible for what I post, I have nothing but love for my dad and want what’s best for him.”

3. 'They deserve each other!' Kanye West comes under fire for taking his Sunday Service to the Houston megachurch of controversial televangelist Joel Osteen. Kanye West will take his Sunday Service to televangelist Joel Osteen's Houston-based Lakewood Church this week.The rapper has come under fire for teaming up with the controversial preacher, who has been criticized for reaping in millions in donations every year, yet failed to help those most in need on their doorstep.

Osteen famously refused to open the doors to the megachurch, which has space for at least 16,000, to evacuees of Hurricane Harvey. Critics joked that Kanye, who is also no stranger to controversy and once called slavery a 'choice', teaming up with the televangelist was 'an early warning sign of the apocalypse.' Many said the pair 'deserved each other.'

West and a choir will perform in the 7pm Sunday Service at the religious institution, Donald Iloff, Jr., a spokesperson for the church, told the Houston Chronicle Tuesday. West, 43, and Osteen, 56, will chat earlier at the 11am service Sunday for about 15-20 minutes, Iloff said, adding Osteen 'will talk about Kanye’s journey to his faith.'

4. Sarah Palin and Todd Palin‘s divorce after 31 years of marriage just got even more shocking. The 2008 vice presidential candidate, 55, revealed in an interview with Christian broadcaster Dr. James Dobson, that she learned the news from an email sent by one of Todd’s attorney — not from her husband of over three decades. Todd, as HollywoodLife previously told you, filed for divorce on his 55th birthday, September 6. But the initial email from Todd’s attorney came in June, according to the former Alaska governor. “I found out from an email from an attorney saying that she was hired and that was on June 19th, I’ll never forget it,” Sarah said in her November 12 interview with Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk. Then on Todd’s birthday, a week after our 31st anniversary is when he filed, yeah. Oh, yeah. It’s not easy to talk about.”

Sarah and her five kids whom she shares with Todd, were understandably distraught by his decision. “It was devastating. I thought I got shot,” she confessed in her interview. “I’m sure so many of you either — maybe you’ve been through [divorce] or you have people whom you love — you’ve witnessed how horrible it is. But I just think, wow, maybe except for the death of a child, I don’t know what could be more… Yeah, it hurts.” But despite these two egregious acts, Sarah told the Christian author that they’re not finalizing their divorce just yet. “It’s not over yet… we’re going through counseling now, so it’s not over, over,” she said. “Attorneys are getting rich off of us and I don’t like that whole system. It makes no sense to me.”

Sarah and Todd eloped and had five kids together — Bristol, Willow, Track, Piper, and Trigg, as well as give grandchildren. At 11-years-old, Trigg is their only minor, and the couple share joint custody. She mentioned that their children are not happy with what they’re “witnessing,” motivating her and Todd to work on their marriage. Todd’s divorce papers cite “incompatibility of temperament between the parties such that they find it impossible to live together as husband and wife.”

5. Tamra Judge attended therapy with her 33-year-old son Ryan Vieth in the Nov. 12 episode of ‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’ and they both emotionally opened up about their rough past as mother and son.

It was an intense episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County on Nov. 12 and it all had to do with Tamra Judge, 52, and her son Ryan Vieth, 33. The concerned mother joined Ryan for a therapy session with Dr. Mcayla Sarno in a powerful scene and admitted she feels like she let him down when he was growing up and has fears about his unhappiness now. The reality star encouraged Ryan to go to therapy earlier in the season of the show after he admitted to feeling stuck and she was invited to attend one of his sessions to discuss their relationship.

“He’s not in a good headspace and I hate to see him struggle,” Tamra said in the episode. “I feel like he’s at a point in his life when he’s just numb to life. When Ryan gets overloaded with things, he just kind of shuts down. He’s at that point in his life right now where he’s not happy, and I want to see him happy.”

She became emotional when Dr. Sarno asked her to describe what it was like for Ryan growing up, which led to her admitting her guilt. “I was 17 when I got pregnant with Ryan,” she explained in a shaky, tearful voice. “I was still in high school.” She went on to talk about getting married to Ryan’s father and it lasting “probably a year”.

“Ryan and I were alone, the two of us, for 13 years” she continued. “I carry guilt ’cause I feel like I let him down. I look at my kids now and the opportunities that they have. I got two kids in college now. Ryan never… He ran out of the house at 18 ’cause he couldn’t stand his stepdad. He doesn’t want to be controlled, he doesn’t want to be told what to do, so he fights life.”

In an on-camera interview, Ryan also admitted to feeling resentment toward his other siblings because although he didn’t have the worst life, he feels they received more opportunities than he did. After raising Ryan alone, Tamra married her second husband, Simon Barney in 1998 and had three children with him, including Sidney Barney, 20, Spencer Barney, 18, and Sophia Barney, 13, before they divorced in 2011.

Ryan became a father four years ago when his daughter, Ava, was born from a previous relationship and Tamra also touched upon how seeing him with his own child affects her. “You are a good dad,” she said to him as they both cried in the session. “But I see that he’s putting all of his energy — all of it — into her. He is so troubled by his past that he doesn’t want her to have that life. “I can look at my son’s eyes and see he’s just not himself,” she later said in a confessional. “He just wants to protect this little girl so much, like just smother her, and he doesn’t let other people in. He isolates himself with Ava, and it’s starting to concern me.”

Perhaps the most emotional part of the session was when Dr. Sarno read Ryan’s written down beliefs to Tamra. “I’m a bad person, worthless. I’m a failure. Can’t succeed. Powerless. I don’t belong. I don’t matter,” the list read. “It just makes me wanna die,” Tamra responded in her confessional. “I worry that one day Ryan might commit suicide. That’s my biggest, biggest fear.” Tamra later told her husband Eddie Judge, 46, about the session and praised his wife even though she was clearly upset about the difficult situation. “Tamra’s a great mom with all her children. Every kid is different,” he said on camera. “Some need to be coddled, some need to be motivated, some need a kick in the ass. When you’re struggling with your childhood issues as a man, I don’t think you’re a man, k? So just get over it, move on, grow up, take care of your responsibilities. That’s life.”

[theo-ramsay]

theo

BASIC STATISTICS

FULL NAME: Mateo Olivier Ramsay NAME ORIGIN: Ask my mom, bruh...oh wait. NAME MEANING: “gift from God” NICKNAMES: Theo, it’s what I go by. Almost no one knows that it’s short for Mateo. NICKNAME ORIGINS: A neighbor, actually. I came home from the hospital and she couldn’t remember my name so she just kept calling me Theo. SEX: Male AGE: 24 BIRTHDAY: March 26th, 1990 PLACE OF BIRTH: Seattle, Washington ETHNICITY/NATIONALITY: Caucasian SEXUALITY: Bi, preference is men. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single and definitely mingling. POLITICAL ALLEGIANCE: Liberal CRIMINAL RECORD: I once was hauled in for vandalism when i was but a teenager. spent one night in jail then my mom came and got him

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 6′0″ WEIGHT: 190 lbs EYE COLOR: Blue NEED GLASSES/CONTACTS? Yes HAIR COLOR: Blonde DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Jaw SCARS: I has one on my back from falling on a skateboard and a couple on my arm from a hospital visit after a terrible terrible IV experience. TATTOOS: ‘my oh my’ written on his back in a mariners logo, I has a couple others I’ve designed for Barry and Alex.  WHO DOES S/HE TAKE AFTER?: I'd like to think my mom but I got my hair color and jawline from my dad. LEFT OR RIGHT-HANDED?: Right

EVERYDAY BEHAVIORS/HABITS

ADDICTIONS: Erm. Adrenaline maybe. MORNING ROUTINE: I wake up at 5, showers and primps for the day, goes into the shop to assist his baristas during peak, does the order and calls in any mechanical problems AFTERNOON: eats lunch, paperwork mostly and other behind-the-scenes things he has to do for the shop EVENING ROUTINE: gets the evening crew set up, goes home to Barry SLEEP HABITS: I cuddle anything within arm’s reach when I’m sleeping DOES THIS CHARACTER SNORE? surprisingly, no. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS OR SKILLS? I'm an artist over a few mediums but my favorite is definitely visual. painting, spray-paint, shit like that. WHAT IS S/HE PARTICULARLY UNSKILLED AT? Math HOBBIES: I fucking love baseball and i’ll pick up his guitar every now and again when i finds time

LIFE

CURRENT ADDRESS: Manhatten, New York DOES S/HE RENT OR OWN? Rent DOES S/HE LIVE WITH ANYONE? IF SO, WHO? Barry, Alex, Boo BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF HOME: Tiny and packed with everyone’s things, it’s a   jungle in there WHAT IS THEIR BEDROOM LIKE? I share one with Barry and the bed takes most of the room. DOES S/HE DRIVE? IF SO, WHAT CAR? i’ve never learned how to drive. SPOUSE/PARTNER: ....Barry CHILDREN: None. WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS/HER CHILD(REN)? N/A PETS: does the toddler count? OCCUPATION: Owner of the Mudhouse which right now kind of feels like a glorified barista JOB SATISFACTION: It’s...very hard owning a small business right now. You gotta want it and god damn it, you gotta work around the clock for it. INCOME: Enough to get by. GENERAL HEALTH: I have diabetes but don’t worry ya’ll, I still have all my toes and shit, PAST HEALTH PROBLEMS, IF ANY: other than problems managing my diabetes when I was younger? not really much.

FAMILY OF ORIGIN

FATHER: Anthony Burke FATHER’S OCCUPATION: Lawyer? Accountant? I dunno man, he wears a suit I think? Whatever, go ask him. MOTHER: Cassidy Burke MOTHER’S OCCUPATION: She was an art teacher. DID THE CHARACTER’S PARENTS RAISE HIM/HER? IF NOT, WHY? My mom raised me. Why? Uh, because my dad’s a coward? ARE THE CHARACTER’S PARENTS STILL TOGETHER? IF NOT, WHY? No, because he’s a dick and she’s dead. DOES THE CHARACTER LIVE WITH HIS/HER PARENTS? No DOES THE CHARACTER HAVE SIBLINGS? No HOW HAS THIS CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR SIBLINGS CHANGED SINCE CHILDHOOD? N/A DESCRIBE HIS/HER FAMILY LIFE AND DYNAMIC WHILE GROWING UP: I remember it being pretty fun but real tough sometimes when money got tight, my mom had me when she was 17 and essentially raised me alone but she never really let me know we were in any trouble when I was really young.  I spent a lot of it just kind of running around Seattle causing trouble with neighborhood kids. My dad sometimes would pop in and out if he was feeling guilty about leaving but surprise, he’d always leave again.

THE PAST

HOMETOWN: Seattle, WA DESCRIBE HIS/HER CHILDHOOD: I’d say it was pretty fun. EARLIEST MEMORY: I remember the opening for a news broadcast when I was toddler-age. HAPPIEST MEMORY: Not sure I have one. Not that my life is sad or anything but I think that the best is coming so I don’t wanna commit. SADDEST MEMORY: When my mom died, I would never wish that 48 hours on my worst enemy. MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY: I bought the Mudhouse when I was off my face and I straight-up forgot for like, a week. MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN THE CHARACTER’S LIFE THAT STILL AFFECTS HIM/HER AND WHY/HOW: Once I was on the plane to Florida after my mom’s funeral, I kinda knew that it was like, the start of a new life. It was a very hard 48 hours. my life in Seattle feels so far away now HOW MUCH SCHOOL DID S/HE ATTEND? DOES S/HE LIKE SCHOOL? I, um, got into NYU’s visual art program but I couldn’t afford it...never considered going back. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THIS CHARACTER HAS EVER DONE? I’d rather not say.

EMOTIONAL CHARACTERISTICS

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral FOUR TEMPERAMENTS: Choleric. SPONTANEOUS OR STRUCTURED? Spontaneous HOW HAS THIS CHARACTER MOST CHANGED FROM YOUTH? A little more focused when it’s time to be and he’s better about being honest about his emotions. HOW HAS THIS CHARACTER REMAINED THE SAME? Still incredibly impulsive and doesn’t always consider consequences. Still kinda reckless.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS

WHO IS HIS/HER BEST FRIEND? Barry and Alex ANY SECRET ATTRACTIONS/CRUSHES: None FIRST CRUSH/ROMANTIC LOVE: Can’t remember CURRENT GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/SPOUSE: ....BARRY! PEOPLE S/HE DISLIKES: No one, really? I don’t know man, it’s hard holding a grudge. HAS S/HE LOST TOUCH WITH ANYONE SIGNIFICANT IN HIS/HER LIFE? IF SO, WHY? People move, people change. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAS S/HE DATED? DESCRIBE EACH RELATIONSHIP. Okay, FIRST OFF, we’re absolutely not doing this because I would literally be talking all fucking day. I’ve slept around a bit.

SEX/ROMANTIC LIFE

WHAT DO THEY CONSIDER TO BE A ROMANTIC DATE? Art gallery showing or a gig. Anytime I open up my art. HOW DOES A NORMAL DATE GO FOR THIS CHARACTER? Normally I just goes with someone to a bar and then fall into bed with them. Not really a dater. HOW WOULD THEY LIKE TO PROPOSE OR BE PROPOSED TO? I’d make a huge fucking deal out of it. I can be a little, as the kids say, dramatic. VIRGIN? hahahahahaha no. DESCRIBE HIS/HER SEX LIFE: Man, the man is non-stop. HOW OFTEN DOES THIS CHARACTER HAVE SEX? Once every couple of days at the absolute least. HOW LONG CAN S/HE GO WITHOUT SEX? Like a week. Or else I get cranky. HOW DOES THIS CHARACTER FEEL EMOTIONALLY AFTER SEX? Normally I try to slip out after sex but most of the time I’m just relaxed. DOES SEX PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN HIS/HER RELATIONSHIP? Not as much as I thought. TOP OR BOTTOM? Flexible. Most times I’m with dudes I like being a bottom. DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? I find myself being more submissive lately. WHAT WAS HIS/HER FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE MEMORY? It was painfully average. HAVE THEY EVER IMPREGNATED SOMEONE, OR BEEN IMPREGNATED? Not that I...know of. HAVE THEY EVER HAD INTERCOURSE OR A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE SEX IN WHICH THEY ARE NOT ATTRACTED? No.

MENTAL ATTITUDES/PERSONAL BELIEFS

MYERS BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE: ENFP ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES?  ENNEAGRAM: #7 - The Enthusiast KNOWN LANGUAGES: English SELF-CONFIDENCE: I’m the hottest piece of ass in any room and I damn well know it. OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST? Can be a little pessimistic...is there a word for kinda both? EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? Extrovert. EMOTIONAL OR LOGICAL? Very emotional. PATIENT OR IMPATIENT? Impatient. COMPASSIONATE OR SELF-INVOLVED? Self-involved. WHAT DOES S/HE LIKE MOST ABOUT HIM/HERSELF? Confidence. WHAT DOES S/HE LIKE LEAST ABOUT HIM/HERSELF? Recklessness. WHOM DOES S/HE REALLY LOVE BEST? Barry and Alex. WHAT IS HIS/HER GREATEST FEAR? Becoming nothing. CHARACTER’S GREATEST STRENGTH: My confidence and ability to handle situations as they come. CHARACTER’S GREATEST FLAW/WEAKNESS: I’m so all-systems-go and charging forward that I don’t...consider consequences. My recklessness is my worst flaw. SEVEN VIRTUES: Diligence SEVEN SINS: Slut? BIGGEST VULNERABILITY (NONPHYSICAL): It’s very easy to get me to do things if you rile me up enough. BIGGEST REGRET: Ooh, maybe not going to college? BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Getting accepted into NYU. WHAT IS/ARE THE CHARACTER’S BIGGEST, DARKEST SECRETS? (He sometimes has suicide ideation and it’s stronger than he’d like to admit) WHO ELSE KNOWS, IF ANYONE? No one. SHORT TERM GOALS: Pay rent. LONG TERM GOALS: Have the Mudhouse survive in the economy and become something to the neighborhood. WHAT EVENT OR OCCURRENCE DOES S/HE MOST DREAD OR FEAR? Losing everything on this stupid coffeehouse. WHAT DOES S/HE ACTIVELY WORK TO GAIN, KEEP, OR PROTECT? That stupid coffeehouse. WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER’S DREAM JOB? I always wanted to be like, a real artist. But this is a cool second. RELIGION: Agnostic DOES THE CHARACTER BELIEVE IN A GOD OR GODDESS? No IS RELIGION OR SPIRITUALITY AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS CHARACTER’S LIFE? Nah SUPERSTITION: None CHINESE ZODIAC: Horse ASTROLOGICAL ZODIAC: Aries ELEMENT: Fire

LIKES AND DISLIKES

COLOR: Royal blue FOOD: Crab DRINK: Black-eye BOOK: Ha. I don’t read. THEME SONG: I will rock out to that Orange is the New Black song for my entire life. MUSIC GENRE: Alternative PLACE: Seattle PERSON: Barry MOVIE: Trainspotters TV SHOW: Parks and Rec SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Art ANIMAL: Cat LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Goose WHERE DOES THIS CHARACTER LIKE TO HANG OUT? A blues bar by where we live. WHERE IS THIS CHARACTER’S DREAM PLACE TO LIVE? Moving back to Seattle but only if Barry and Alex can come with. WHAT SORTS OF BOOKS ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE FOUND ON THEIR SHELVES? Ha. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: Transit. SEASON: Fall. HOLIDAY: That month between Thanksgiving and Christmas is cool. FLOWER: Erm. Ones that smell nice? POSSESSION: I still have a baseball jersey that belonged to my mom and it’s literally the last thing I have of her.