it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
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Since u struggling with chimmy, here is a free pass to draw any other character!
Love your bitties AU tho
YAYYY YIIPIEE!!!!
have some warm up doodles w huey and his fairy counterpart "huebert". becuase im in a bit of an art block atmm
wolf oc by @/bunnieswithknives and emersyn oc by @/emway99
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Thorki AU where Thor and Loki start a band when they're teens but it's mostly just the two of them because they're messy little fuckers who constantly butt heads and no one can stand to be around them for too long. Somehow, they're still really good and end up getting picked up by a record label and become a hit. This, of course, makes them even messier fuckers and their constant drama makes them an even bigger draw to more people. They manage to find a small team of people who are (mostly) willing to stick it out with them and make a few hit albums and get through a few tours. (They just barely manage to get through them by the skin of their teeth, but still!)
Unfortunately, their latest album hasn't done as well critically or commercially and the tension between Thor and Loki has been at an all time high, which has really made touring unbearable for everyone involved. A particularly rough performance the night before ended up with Loki and Thor getting into a(nother) nasty little ruckus that had their manager calling up the front desk of the hotel with a preemptive "I'm sorry for whatever happens to that suite, we'll pay for the damages, please don't call the cops, thank you."
They show up to the tour bus the next morning and something's... different. Sure, usually after a bad argument they're a bit quiet and sulky until one of them cracks a joke that makes the other laugh and everything's good again until the next shitfit ensues, but this time they're real quiet and avoiding looking at each other(and everyone else) and everyone's getting worried that this might be the fight that finally breaks them up.
Except actually they had an angry fuck after Loki said 'We'Re NoT EvEn ReEeEeAl BrOtHeRs!!?!' for like, the 700th time and Thor was like 'FINE!' and smashed their mouths together. Things Happened and now they're a bit shell shocked and trying to figure how to feel about it. (And trying valiantly to convince themselves It Wasn't That Good.)
(It was That Good. Oops.)
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Having Crystal and Charles feelings in this Chili's tonight. Thinking about how "Northern Attitude" fits both of them so fucking well. Can you guess what song I'm using to write scenes for them in Chapter 6?
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Namer of nameless hills and tall mountains green
A crown of stars upon his head like gems was seen
High peak to deepest vale and all inbetween
Undimmed by cloud or shade of night, a splendour fair and keen
Light and song, vanquishing the dark and gloom
Harp and trumpet, burnish gold the air
Precious realm, O Moria, O Khazad-dûm
O my people, would that I had found you there!
happy anniversary, watermill lotr! you know how we're always saying that lament for moria deserves to be a full-length song? i have made extra bits to turn it into one!
borrowed from gimli's song of durin in the books to put together an extra verse and pre-chorus, and set them to music. (this audio is an auditory reference for the new bits, stuck together in musescore with the vocal line represented by cello because i am not a singer)
pdf scores (one with multi-instrumental accompaniment and one with guitar reduction) + lyrics are on google drive here!
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The Dream the Doll Girl Dreamed
In the closed garden, I am the only one who is willing true love. That's the answer: You made me this way
Clinging to the name of God, my brain has corrupted. Running in circles. They thin out the seedlings of love. Holding you in my hands, I make flowers bloom filled with sorrow.
The girl (doll) made by that miserable girl (dollmaker) smiles gently, as if she were alive
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