#the cracker clips i need

[confettieparfait]

accessories 〜☆

[strongermonster]

that mcelroy final pam clip is gonna get my ass in trouble one day because ANY time a baby/young child starts crying or fussing at work, i think of 2 things.

"baby needs snack" (which is very fun to say while advancing on them with cracker packs, doing the voice almost always gets a laugh) and

"i take a hammer and fix the baby" which i absolutely cannot say out loud in public ever or i go to fucking jail

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 33 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Getting through your second presentation feels like a battle of wits against your own body. Then after weeks of barely being able to stomach anything, you are presented with the most enticing dinner. But it's the food that's alluring, not your dinner mate, and Bradley has a few things to say about the mess you get yourself caught up in.

Warnings: Swearing, adult language, pregnancy topics, angst, fluff, phone sex, masturbation

Length: 5800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

You slept like a lovesick log after your long drive back to the hotel from the cemetery. Exhausted from throwing up in the shrubs, you curled up in bed and watched the video you took for your son or daughter. You had recorded yourself reading both headstones and having a little conversation with your in-laws about the baby. It was just meant to be something you and Bradley could watch one day with the nugget, but it brought a smile to your face. 

You were decidedly no longer smiling when you woke up on Wednesday and had to race to the toilet. "Why is this happening again?" you asked the bath mat as you curled up in a ball. You had another, longer presentation to give. You had admirals to chat with. You had a whole lot to get done today. You didn't have time for this right now.

Even brushing your teeth was a chore. Changing into your uniform was an issue. At least your pants felt a little looser today. You honestly could not keep up with the way your body was bloated half the time and normal the rest of the time. 

You realized your makeup was pretty much the only thing holding your life together at the moment as you swiped on some mascara. Then there was a knock at your door, and it felt like you were doing the same thing all over again today, because essentially you were. You and Cat had to struggle with the bin of equipment. You had to fight to stay awake in the rental car. The nausea was turning  your life into a game of sheer determination to keep the bagel that you ate from coming back up. 

"Are you okay?" Cat asked you a few minutes before the presentation was about to start. 

"Of course," you told her in what you hoped was a reassuring tone. "Why wouldn't I be?" You shrugged and smiled serenely at her. 

"Because you're sweating bullets. And you've been pacing around the hallway."

You cleared your throat and insisted, "It's just really hot in here."

"It's not," she replied. "Please. I'm begging you. Just keep it together for another ninety minutes, okay? After that, you can do anything you want. Hell, I'll do anything you want me to do. But we need to get through this presentation." 

Her voice sounded panicked, and now you were looking around the hallway for a garbage can. But it was too late. The two of you were being called into the presentation room. Commander Patterson and Admiral Klein were sitting in the front row smiling at you. Shit, more admirals were here today. Oh fuck, all of these people wanted to hear your extended presentaion. A bead of sweat rolled down the back of your neck, past your shoulder blades and along your spine. You wanted Bradley. You wanted Bradley to hold you and let you throw up everywhere and tell you that you were still pretty and that he loved you even if you cried on the toilet and ate crackers while you lay on the floor. 

Tears burned your eyes, and Cat looked like she was going to scream. Pull it together. Ignore the sensation. Clip the microphone onto your shirt. Start talking. 

"Good afternoon. Lieutenant Coleman and I are back to expound upon our research presentation from Monday which covered communications engineering at Top Gun. You can find a copy of our slides in the information packet in front of you. Please hold your questions until we pause for a break. Let's get started."

--------------------------

Bradley really wasn't doing well without you at home. He was barely eating anything besides cereal and sandwiches, and he was going to bed hungry at night. The only fun he'd been having was slowly filling up that pink and blue notebook with his musings for the little nugget.

He was having a hard time sleeping, and he didn't like how quiet the house was. Even Tramp kept looking for you, occasionally running to the front door and whimpering. "We'll see her on Friday," he told the dog as he had potato chips and coffee for breakfast on Wednesday morning. "Two more days of this bullshit." 

When he got home from work on Tuesday, he broke down in tears as he looked at the photos you sent him from the cemetery. You even took a video where you were talking to him and the nugget and his parents. He still couldn't believe you took the time to drive there and make it so special for him. After he finished crying, he made his way back up to the attic where he took the half wall down to the studs. Then he realized that he really needed to call some contractors before you came home and saw the mess he made. 

While he drove to work in the red Bronco, he left messages, hoping to get some estimates in the next week or so. One thing that he'd been slowly coming to terms with was the fact that you didn't need him to take care of you by paying for everything. Both of your incomes were going toward the mortgage payments and all the necessities. You'd both been saving money for the future, and he figured the future had arrived since there was a baby on the way. 

When he parked in the garage on base, he noticed he had some new texts from you.

Baby Girl Bradshaw: I miss you. I'm struggling today. I think the nugget hates me. I'll call you later after my presentation and all of this other shit is over. 

He wanted to text you back, but he didn't want to be a distraction, so he tucked his phone into his pocket and ran his fingers through his hair. He had been reading every pregnancy article online that he could find, but none of the tricks he saw were helping you with the nausea. You were probably just going to have to wait it out. He would be ready to rub your shoulders and put a cool washcloth on the back of your neck when you got home.

Bradley walked the long way around to the classrooms since he was early and didn't need to stop in the locker room to change. When he passed the stairwell that would have taken him up to your office and the engineering labs, he swore he heard Bob's voice. He paused, and he definitely heard Bob's laugh. When the door to the stairs opened, he heard Bob say, "We can always find out later tonight if you want to invite me to your room again." And then there was a very familiar, feminine laugh before Bob appeared ten feet ahead of him.

He stared at Bob, and Bob stared back as the door closed, leaving the two of them alone. Bradley thought back to the way Bob and Maria were looking a little cozy at brunch last Sunday. This was interesting.

"Hey, Bob," Bradley said with a grin. "How are you enjoying your new apartment with Maria?"

His cheeks immediately flushed pink, and Bradley bit his lip to keep quiet as Bob started stuttering. Frankly, he was proud of his friend for sounding so much more self assured a few seconds ago when he was tucked inside the stairwell with Maria. "I-I d-don't know... are y-you... I d-din't think that..."

Bradley let him flounder through a few more partial sentences before he said, "If you're hooking up with Maria Wilson, then good for you, man. Well done."

Bob cleared his throat, adjusted his glasses and ran his hand along the back of his neck. "Thanks," he muttered as he stared at the floor. 

"You want me to keep this information to myself?"

Bob's blue eyes went wide as they met Bradley's. "Please." He swallowed hard. "I don't think she wants anyone else to know." His voice was just a whisper as he said, "I'm sure she'd be embarrassed if people found out."

Then he turned and left Bradley standing there alone. He'd been in that position before with you. Before you made things official. And he had been miserable. "Poor Bob," he muttered as he followed him at a distance. The best case scenario would be if Maria confided in you when you got back from Annapolis. Bradley would have to be cool about you going to brunch on Sunday even though he already wanted you and the baby all to himself again all weekend.

-----------------------

You made it. Somehow you got through the full hour and a half. You nailed your parts, and so did Cat. You and she answered questions for at least an additional thirty minutes, and now she was packing up the equipment while you sent a quick text to Bickel. 

"Your research is very compelling, Lieutenant Commander."

You looked up into the eyes of Commander Patterson, and he smiled warmly at you. Unfortunately, the only thing you could really think about was the way you'd been picturing Bradley's cock the last time you talked to him. At the moment, you were so fucking horny, you felt like rubbing yourself against the wall and crying until you got some relief.

"Thank you, sir," you managed to say while you tried to focus on his face and his words. "It has really become a passion project, trying to keep actual aviators in the air versus the drone agenda. Real people making real decisions based on their surroundings and the immediate threats they are facing will always win out against a laboratory manufactured software protocol."

"I couldn't agree more." He took a step closer and said, "And the way you presented your findings made it so clear that you're eager for others to understand how important that is as well."

"Absolutely," you told him with a smile of your own. "And the funding for communications research is so important." 

You were probably going to have to go to the cocktail hour tonight just to get your face out there since you skipped the previous one to drive to Virginia. But you were almost instantly saved from having to do that as Commander Patterson said, "I'm planning on having dinner this evening with a few of the admirals if you'd like to join us. Cocktail attire. Overpriced steaks. You know, the usual." 

His slight eye roll had you laughing and agreeing immediately. That sounded a lot better than trying to ditch champagne flutes all night. You'd still be able to chat with some superiors, and right now, you were actually hungry. "That sounds great. I'll see if Lieutenant Coleman can join as well."

With that, his smile wavered a bit, but he told you the name of the restaurant, and you promised to be there at seven o'clock. Cat had all the equipment packed up, and she was ready for you to help her carry the bin. "Hey, you want to come eat an overpriced steak later? With Commander Patterson and some others?" you asked as you tried your best to lift with your legs.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I already agreed to some stupid happy hour with a handful of admirals, but I love overpriced food when you don't have to pay for it."

You laughed and said, "That's probably better. We can divide and conquer this way. Bickel will like that."

As the two of you hoisted the bin into the rental car, Cat smiled and said, "You know what else he'll like? The fact that we nailed the presentation again today. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Don't do it again," you told her with a smirk. Of course then you promptly started falling asleep while she drove back to the hotel, and when you got to your room, you passed out in bed until it was time to get ready for dinner. 

It was only three o'clock for Bradley, and even though you wanted to call him, you decided to wait a little longer. You inhaled a pack of peanut butter crackers while your stomach growled loudly. "What is with you today?" you asked the baby. "You're finally hungry? Or are you going to make me barf again?" You got a loud rumble in response. "I know you like Daddy better, and we'll be home in two days. Relax."

As you redid your makeup, you started thinking about Bradley. And then you thought about how delicious he smelled right after he finished a workout. And then you thought about how nice and big his cock is. And then you thought about all the sounds he makes and the way me moans your name when his cock is inside you.

"Oh hell," you whined, pressing your thighs together. You needed to get some relief with your toys until you could get back home, but you didn't have time for that right now. The combination of being so hungry and so horny was almost too much to handle, and you ended up calling Bradley on the short drive to the restaurant. It was barely four there, so you were surprised when he answered. 

"Hey, Sweetheart."

Two words. He said two fucking words, and you were moaning and having a hard time focusing to drive. "Roo. Oh my god."

"What's wrong?" he snapped immediately. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," you gasped, parking the car and squeezing the steering wheel. "I'm just so horny. And Commander Patterson asked me out to dinner, and I seriously need to get fucked, Bradley. Like you have no idea how bad it is right now."

You could hear him mutter something, and then you thought you heard Jake's voice before Bradley quietly said, "Baby Girl, I'll fuck the absolute shit out of you all weekend. In fact, I can't wait to do that. I'll take care of everything you need."

"Daddy," you moaned, realizing you should have masturbated instead of taking that nap.

"But please tell me who the fuck Commander Patterson is. All I know is that you said he's that guy who asked if Top Gun aviation is the right fit for you?" Another moan escaped your lips as you thought about being a tight fit for your husband. "Yeah, you sound wrecked, Sweetheart," he crooned in that raspy voice. "I don't think you should go to dinner with some guy I don't know. I don't care what his rank is.

You sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's not just with him. Some admirals are coming too. I need to meet the admirals, Bradley. And I'm already at the restaurant." When you looked further up the block, you saw Patterson heading inside.

Bradley made a frustrated sound. "Text me when you can? And call me when you're leaving later?"

"I will," you promised as your stomach growled. You were so excited that the nugget seemed to want to eat this steak, you almost hung up before you said, "I love you."

You straightened out your black cocktail dress as you practically ran down the sidewalk in your high heels which you rarely ever wore except in your bedroom with your husband. The delicious smells from the restaurant were wafting out onto the sidewalk, and you were going to cry if there wasn't some bread or something already waiting on the table. 

"There you are, Lieutenant Commander." 

Patterson was waiting inside the entryway where at least the sound of the air conditioner blasting and the conversation around you was blocking out your growling stomach. He was smiling as his hand found the small of your back. "Our table is ready. We can go right there." 

When he applied some pressure with his hand, you lurched forward. Perhaps he was just trying to help you navigate through the crowd, but he could keep his hands to himself. He must have known you were married. You decided to make a show of pointing out some hideous artwork with your left hand, practically shoving your rings in his face. "That's a lovely painting, Commander," you told him, but he just smiled and nodded at you before pulling out a chair at a table set for four.

"Please, call me Derek," he told you as he sank down into the seat across from you, and then he started using your first name without permission. The one blessing was the fact that there was an enormous basket of bread sitting right in the middle of the table along with a variety of spreads and dips. 

You moaned softly and had to bite your lip as you reached for a soft looking roll and the chive butter. Derek was staring at you with parted lips and wide pupils. Had he never seen a woman eat before? Had you ever been this hungry before? You licked your lips as you spread some of the butter onto the roll, and then you took a bite and moaned again. 

Holy. Fucking. Shit. 

After weeks of feeling miserable, you finally knew you could stomach this meal right now. You were still so turned on, and yet your exhaustion was bone deep at this point, but the bread was like a lifeline to normalcy, and you were grabbing onto it. 

Derek cleared his throat as he watched you take those first few sumptuous bites. "I've got to know," he said smoothly, "exactly what would lure you back to Annapolis for good?"

You popped the rest of the roll between your lips and chewed it up before you said, "Nothing."

"There would have to be something. Better research facilities? Your own lab? Both of your degrees and your work are so impressive, you must know there would be endless possibilities for you here."

You were shocked. Running your own lab was your dream. The idea of being in charge of a research team made your skin prickle with desire. You hoped that could be a possibility someday, but you weren't even thirty-five yet. You figured maybe ten years from now when Bickel was getting ready to retire, you'd be able to take his place. 

"My own lab?"

Derek smiled, all white teeth and handsome expression, and then the waitress arrived. You wanted to jump out of your seat and hug her when she asked if you'd like to order any appetizers.

"Do you know when the others will be here?" you asked Derek. "Should we wait to order?"

He shook his head vaguely. "They'll be late. We can order. Get whatever you want."

You almost laughed giddily as you ordered three appetizers and then a steak dinner complete with garlic mashed potatoes and two vegetables. "We can share the appetizers," you said when he looked at you in surprise, even though you didn't want to. You placed your hand on your belly, trying to subtly thank the baby for cooperating right now. 

When the waitress finished taking his order and then departed, you asked, "Which admirals are joining us?"

"Hmm? Oh... uh, Rivera and Silverman."

You were not familiar with either of them which made you panic slightly. You should have done more research on who was attending each of the lectures. Why hadn't you done that? Oh, right... because you were too busy throwing up. The bread basket called to you, and before you knew it, you'd eaten more than half while Derek droned on about how amazing you'd be running your own lab. He didn't even know you, which made this more annoying than anything else, but your stomach was holding up spectacularly, so you could overlook it. You could have kissed the waitress when she came back with the appetizers.

"So, do you live alone?" he asked as you dipped two mozzarella sticks into some marinara sauce. You paused before shoving them into your mouth so you could chuckle. 

"No. I live with my husband and our dog." Then the fried cheese hit your tongue, and it was like you were living in a world of color after weeks in black and white. Your stomach gurgled pleasantly, finally accepting food once again. Tears of joy stung at your eyes as you took a forkful of crispy brussels sprouts and a potato skin.

Derek laughed and asked how old you were, but your mouth was full, so he said, "Let's just say, my career in Annapolis outlived my bad marriage. And that's been the case for many, many officers."

You swallowed the potato like it was a lead weight. That had definitely been the case for Cat, unfortunately. And you'd heard a lot of stories, sure, especially when you were at the Naval Academy. And perhaps that was part of the reason you fought against the mere idea of being with Bradley at first. One officer in a relationship with a civilian was bad enough, but two officers trying to make it happen together usually spelled disaster.

But you felt stronger with Bradley. The two of you worked hard to get through your struggles and end up in a better place. You and he were going to be parents, for fuck's sake. 

"Just sharing my two cents with you," Derek added, still smiling. "You're young, and you haven't lived it yet, but I can tell you that you'll go farther here than in San Diego. Especially if you're already open to the idea of having more."

You wanted to check the time on your phone; you must have been sitting here for over half an hour by now. The other two chairs were still empty. Derek was starting to get under your skin. 

"I'm open to the idea of pursuing my career at Top Gun along with my husband."

"He's an officer as well?" Derek asked with a laugh. "I'm sure he's having a great week back in San Diego without you."

You felt heat flame up your neck and into your cheeks as your steak dinners arrived. "Yes, he's an officer. He's a Top Gun aviator."

"He deploys?" Derek asked in disbelief before laughing harder. "You should make the move back to the east coast now, before he ruins your life. If he hasn't already."

He had gone from complimenting you to trying to humiliate you in a matter of minutes. You'd been blinded by the glorious meal, but the truth hit you square in the chest. As he picked up his fork and steak knife, you asked, "Why did you lie to me about two admirals coming? Do Rivera and Silverman even exist?"

Somehow his smile was still persistent as he said, "Sure, they exist. They went to the cocktail reception on base." You watched the knife sink into his steak as he added, "You're gorgeous. I wanted to get you alone. Let you know how much better things could be. Offer to set you up for a one-on-one meeting with Admiral Jennings tomorrow if you come home with me tonight. It's on the table if you want it."

In one quick movement, you snatched his plate away from him with the fork still stuck in the steak. "Okay, well fuck you, Derek," you snarled, standing up and waving for the waitress. "You're disgusting and delusional if you thought I would even consider going home with you."

"Can I get you anything?" the waitress asked cautiously, and you realized you were causing a bit of a scene now in the crowded restaurant. 

"Yes. I need boxes. Like a whole bunch of takeout boxes," you told her. "I'm taking all of this food with me."

"Right," the waitress replied, her gaze drifting to Derek who looked very unamused. 

"I'm taking his meal, too," you snapped. "Hurry up with the boxes."

She scurried away as you piled all of the food onto one plate and said, "You're so fucking stupid, Derek. I already have Admiral Jennings' phone number. I met her last year. I told her to her face that I'm staying in San Diego."

"Well then you're making a bad choice," he told you.

Then the waitress set down some takeout containers while you practically tossed the empty plate back at Derek. You scraped as much of the food into the first box as would fit before moving to the second one. "He's paying for dinner," you told the waitress. "And I'm taking one fork and one steak knife with me. He'll pay for those as well." You shoved the rest of the bread into the last box and then stacked them all up before meeting Derek's eyes. "You just ruined the first meal I've been able to stomach in weeks, asshole. And my husband is a nice man. Very sweet. Treats people with respect. But if he were here right now, you'd have a bloody face and some broken ribs." 

You picked up the boxes, grabbed the utensils, and made your way toward the exit. You went straight for your rental car and climbed inside before cranking the engine. Then you took a massive bite of garlic mashed potatoes before cutting off a piece of Derek's steak while you called your husband. 

-------------------------

Bradley was working out in the garage when your ringtone cut across the playlist you made for him. He practically dropped his barbell to the cement floor to get his phone from where it was sitting on the tool chest. "Sweetheart. I wasn't expecting to hear from you quite yet. Didn't we just get off the phone?" he asked with a smile as he ran his forearm along his sweaty face. "Not that I mind one bit." He was about to ask if you were done with dinner, but then he realized that you were crying. The sweat on his skin turned ice cold as he quickly asked, "What's wrong?"

"Roo," you wailed, and he started looking around the garage as if there was something out here that would help both of you calm down. "He ruined my fucking dinner!" you sobbed.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he paced the length of the garage, running his fingers through his damp hair. "Who ruined it?"

"Commander Patterson."

Bradley honestly could not fathom how that guy had ruined your dinner. All he knew was that you told him you were horny as hell when you got to the restaurant, and that he didn't trust guys he didn't know around you. Most men were disgusting, and you were lovely and also pregnant with his child.

"Can you explain what happened so I can understand?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"Yeah," you sniffed, and he heard a car engine start up in the background. "The nugget and I were both really enjoying the food. Like really enjoying it, Bradley. You know how I've been, and this was delectable and exactly what we both wanted. Like it was so good, if you'd been there with me looking super sexy, I would have probably had an orgasm in the middle of the damn restaurant."

Bradley swallowed hard as he stood in the garage, wondering where the hell this was going. "I understand. You haven't been able to eat much, so that must have felt amazing. Now can you tell me what's wrong?"

"He ruined it!" you replied loudly. "He lied to me! There were no admirals planning on joining us. He tricked me into meeting him there, and then he gave me fake compliments and accolades about my work. He told me that I could get ahead with a career in Annapolis if I slept with him, all because he wanted to fuck me!"

Bradley almost dropped his phone. "Did he touch you?" he growled, switching to speaker phone as he rushed through the backyard toward the house and looked for flights to Maryland at the same time. "Did he fucking touch you?!"

"No!" you practically shrieked. "No, he didn't touch me! You think I'd let him get anywhere near me after he ruined my dinner?"

"Where are you now?" he demanded. "And what's this Commander fucking Patterson's first name?" 

Bradley was seeing red as he walked inside and slammed the sliding glass door behind him, and Tramp ran whimpering into the spare room. The earliest he could get out of San Diego on an eastbound flight was a red eye that left at 9:30, and that was nearly four hours from now.

"I'm not telling you his name," you said softly with a little sniff at the end. "I'm afraid you'll strangle him."

Frankly, if Bradley got his hands on the asshole, he'd probably wish all he got was strangled to death. "Where are you now?" he asked again, trying to keep his voice calmer.

"In my rental car."

"Alone?

"Yes!"

"Good," he replied as he clenched and unclenched his fist and headed for the shower. "Go back to your hotel room, and text me the address. I'll stay on the phone with you until you get there, and then I'll be out on a red eye that lands in Annapolis at 5:55 tomorrow morning local time. And then you'll tell me his first name, and I'll beat the shit out of him for ruining your dinner and acting like my wife is his for the taking."

"Bradley," you said firmly. "I do not need you to come out here. I already feel better now that I told you about it."

"Well, I sure as fucking hell don't," he grunted, peeling off his sweaty clothes in the bathroom. "Does he know which hotel you're staying at? And where the hell is Cat?"

You groaned and said, "No, he doesn't know. And Cat went to the actual cocktail reception with the actual admirals. I seriously hate Commander Patterson. But I did steal his dinner, so that's making me feel a little bit better."

His thumb was hovering over his phone screen, ready to purchase a seat on this flight. "Wait, you stole his dinner?"

"Yes. I took it. When I tell you the food was that good, Bradley, I am not joking. I housed most of the appetizers and the bread basket, and then I took his plate before he even got a bite of his porterhouse. I dumped all of the food into takeout boxes, took some silverware, told the waitress he'd pay for everything, and then I left."

Bradley burst into laughter in spite of himself. He could actually picture it so clearly. The haughty expression on your face. Your biting wit once you figured out what was going on. The way you must have looked dumping the steaks into the containers. "You're a damn force to be reckoned with, Baby Girl. Are you driving back to the hotel with all the food?"

"Yeah. I mean I did eat a few bites when I first got back in the car, because the baby was demanding it, but I'm absolutely going to eat the rest in my room. Fuck that guy. He doesn't even deserve his overpriced steak. It's mine now."

Bradley cradled his forehead in his hand and laughed. "Do you really not need me to come out there?"

He heard you take a deep breath before you said, "I miss you a lot, but I really do not need you to come out, okay? The nugget and I are fine now, ruined dinner aside."

"Alright," he murmured. "If you change your mind, you have two hours to let me know, and I'll be knocking on your door by 7 in the morning."

You moaned and whispered, "God, that does sound good. I'm back at the hotel. Heading up to my room now. Any chance you feel like having phone sex before I eat my two steaks and roughly four pounds of potatoes?"

"Fuck," he grunted, his cock already getting hard as he looked down at himself. "Yeah. A hundred percent. Let me just get in the shower here."

"Okay, Daddy," you muttered, and Bradley was practically tripping over himself as he started up the spray of water. Once you were safely inside your room, you told him, "I'm ready when you are."

-------------------------

You got off twice to your vibrator and your husband's sexy voice. It was so easy to imagine him in the shower with the sound of the water in the background. You could picture the steam snaking around his body while he held his thick cock in his hand. You could practically taste his skin and smell the body wash he was definitely using as lube. 

"That's my sweet girl," he crooned as you started to peak for the second time. "When I get you home on Friday, my mouth is going to be all over that pussy. I miss you so much. I want my wife and my baby with me."

"Bradley," you whined, legs bent and shaking as you got closer. "I need you to fuck me. I'm so goddamn horny for you!"

He grunted right into the phone and said, "Keep it up, and I'll break your new car at the airport, too."

And then you came. Hard. Your chest was sweaty. Your back was arching off the bed. The vibrator rolled out of your grasp, and you stroked yourself with your fingers and whispered his name over and over. 

"I'm about to come," Bradley moaned. And you could hear the exact second he was probably making a white mess all over the tile wall. You imagined it on your belly instead. 

You just wanted to go home, and when your back finally settled against the bedding you said, "I need you to promise to fuck me at least twenty times between Friday night and Monday morning."

"Make it thirty, Sweetheart," he crooned as he panted. "At least. I fucking need it, too."

You turned your head to the side where a photo of him was still pulled up on your phone. "Sounds perfect. Don't forget, I'm having dinner with my mom and dad tomorrow, so please FaceTime when you're walking out of work if you can."

"For the love of all things holy, please don't talk about your parents when I'm still holding my cock."

You giggled, and then he laughed. "I won't do it again," you promised as you sat up in bed, eyeing the takeout containers on the desk. "I love you, Roo. I'm going to eat Derek Patteron's steak, take a shower, and then pass out."

"I love you too, Baby Girl. Can you put your phone down by your belly?"

"Mmhmm," you hummed, pressing your lips together to keep from squealing at how sweet this man was.

"And I love you, too, my little nugget. Be nice to Mommy."

---------------------------

BG is all over the place... Roo probably has whiplash. Derek should be punished for ruining that meal for her and the baby. Just a few chapters left, and we'll have another series for them in the books! Thanks for reading! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 34

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@wkndwlff

@horseslovers2016

@gennyanydots

@mattyskies

@hookslove1592

@blahehblah

@sadpetalsstuff

@local-spidey

@schoollover

@lex-winchester

@magicalmorg

@nicole01-23

@jessicab1991

@happyrebelruins

@samsgoddess

@ughthisisntright

@bellaireland1981

@sagittarius-flowerchild

@mygyn

@yuckosworld

[scoobydoomistakes]

…this made me laugh so hard, you need to see it, too.

Normal day being a photographer, plus snaggin' some B-roll video clips for the client.

There's a charcuterie board.

Figure what the hey, I'll snag a shot of people getting food. That's always easy, right?

...

...I could spend hours watching this poor guy have a triscuit evade five times in a row.

All the stars aligned to give this sequence as much unintentional comedy as possible. The cracker battle, the momentary consideration of cheese but backing out, calmly leaving the station with naught but the single cracker on the plate, the immediate shooing away of a fly....

What happened next made for a perfectly fine clip, but dang it, we've all been there, man. Your suffering was not in vain.

–Colin

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Seven

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Jasper… because I’m horrible at holding out for a slow burn, but it’s tame don’t worry!

Notes: So sorry it’s a day late than normal, work has kept me heckin’ tired. Again, thank you for all the love so far! I can’t believe you amazing people actually like what I write!

Word Count: 1672

Series Masterlist

• March 9th, 2005 • Home •

Reader

Deciding to play sick to avoid going to school since my cheek is still tender from last night, I made a show of spending the morning pretend-vomiting. I managed to convince my mother that I was fine enough to stay home alone today from school. She ended up finally leaving for work twenty minutes late after some encouragement from me behind my closed bedroom door, but only after I heard her rummaging around in the kitchen - laying out supplies for soup, crackers, and bottles of water so that I didn’t have to search for it in my ‘state’.

I’m still fuming from my argument with Jasper last night. I’m beyond grateful for his rescue, but mad he couldn’t tell me how he pulled it off. What the fuck is he hiding? Did Bella manage to get an answer from Edward? I rub my head where my scalp still tingles from the rough treatment yesterday as I contemplate theories.

Grabbing my phone, I flip it open and type Bella a message: My house after school? Mom will be at work.

It only takes a few moments before my cell vibrates: Definitely, Edward told me everything.

I stare at my phone, surprised. Everything? Everything as in, last night? Or why they aren’t allowed on the rez? Why they’re so fucking cryptic all the time? Why no one has been able to penetrate their tight-knit group?

A knock on my front door disturbs me from my thoughts; glancing at the clock, it shows that it’s about halfway through first period already. Who would-

More insistent knocking. Alright, alright I think as I descend the stairs.

“Hello-“ I greet, swinging the door open, but I stop short at who is standing on my front porch: Jasper Hale.

“You’re not at school.” He says, standing there like I offended him by not showing.

“Very astute of you. I’m mad at you, Sherlock.” Folding my arms across my chest, I level him with a gaze that would normally melt a normal boy.

But he isn’t a normal boy and he can’t tell me why.

“Education is important.”

I laugh and fire back, “The truth is important.”

“Invite me in.” He asks, stepping up to the doorway. I know he’s giving me control instead of just barging inside - especially after what happened last night, but who is he to make requests right now?

“No.” I don’t budge, not giving him an inch.

“Then take a walk with me, darlin’.” I can feel my anger waver as I continue to stare into his dark eyes. I try to fight it, but a wave of curiosity douses my anger and I cave reluctantly.

“I need shoes.” I tell him in a clipped tone as I turn on my heel for the hallway closet.

“Grab a jacket too, doll.”

I huff at his request, not happy to take suggestions from him when I’m irritated and he’s being considerate.

“Okay what gives? Why are we tromping through the woods?” I stop next to a tree, refusing to walk any further in silence.

“Ask me. Ask me again.” He turns to face me head on, determination set on his face.

“What’s different from last night?” I ask, skirting what he wants.

“Fuck it.” His arms lift and then drop to slap his jean-clad thighs.

“Fuck it?”

“Fuck it, Y/n. Ask away.” He steps closer from where he stopped ten feet away.

“How did you know where we were-“

“We followed you. We were in Port Angeles after returning from our camping trip and saw you two leave the dress shop. Next question.” He interrupts me like he’s in a hurry to offload the information.

“What’s with your family?” He cocks his head as if asking for clarification. “Every single one of you likes to keep everyone at arm’s length. You don’t have friends, you don’t hang out outside of school. You aren’t allowed on the Quileute res-“

“How do you know that?”

“Bella and I talked to some people - did some research, answer me.” I demand.

“Shit.” I hear him whisper to himself as he takes another step closer and rubs his jaw.

“You’re cold as ice, your eyes change color, your temperament is old-fashioned, I’ve never seen you actually eat anything, you’re always gone on sunny days-“

“Say it.” He says, eyes hard as he closes in. “You did the research, what’s your theory?”

“You-you're a vampire?” I say uncertainly.

He’s backed me against the tree, arms boxing me in as he stares down at me in silence for a few heavy moments, our breathing the only sound in the forest.

He leans forward and my body stills, “With confidence - you smart, pretty girl.” He whispers in my ear, breath sending a cascade of goosebumps down my neck.

“You’re a vampire, Jasper Hale.” A sudden dose of confidence strengthens my voice.

The possibility this man was a vampire didn’t really cross my mind until now. Sure, looking up the answers with the information Bella and I learned had shown that as a possibility. But it’s entirely different saying it out loud, saying it to his face and having him not deny it.

“Good girl.” The praise weakening my knees and stealing the breath from my chest. The guy I have a crush on is a vampire and he just confirmed it.

More surprising, I’m not scared of him. Thrilled, high as fuck on the knowledge that I figured him out, but utterly unafraid.

“Are you scared?” He backs away, eyeing my trembling form.

“No.” I answer honestly.

“Then ask me what I eat. What sustains a vampire?” He’s egging me on to try and scare me, I can see it.

“Blood-“

“Blood.” He confirms menacingly as he turns to pace, burying his hands in his blonde hair.

“Is that all?” I ask, not really sure where to go from here.

He lets out a laugh like the world was just lifted from his chest, the kind you let out on a rooftop in the rain after a stressful day. “Is that all?” He says incredulously.

“Are you just going to repeat my questions? You just dumped something pretty monumental on me, I didn’t want to stop you if you were on a roll.”

He stops walking to face me, expression completely sober, “Where have you been all my life?”

Bella isn’t even all the way through my front door before I blurt, “He’s a vampire, they’re all vampires and he confirmed it.”

Her eyes widen, “You talked to Jasper?”

“You talked to Edward?” I counter, seeing as she isn’t denying my confession.

“I-“ she’s shaking her head speechless, exactly how I feel.

“I know.” I just hold her hands and stare.

“I mean - we did the research.”

“I know.” I repeat. What are we getting ourselves into? What now?

• March 10th, 2005 • Forks HS Parking Lot •

Jasper

“Tell me about being a vampire.” Y/n asks me after checking our surroundings for anyone close enough in the student parking lot to over hear our conversation.

I see Rosalie huff and slam the door to her red convertible, tearing it out of the parking lot. I catch her emotions as she flies by: irritation, anger, annoyance. That’ll be fun to deal with later.

“My skin is nearly impenetrable, it’s like granite.” I lift my arm as she reaches for me as if to inspect my skin. “I don’t need to breathe-“

“That’s why you hold your breath!” She whisper shouts and I’m surprised by her observation. “I can tell when you’re not breathing, you’re shit at pretending.” She says as she turns to throw her backpack in the backseat of her car.

I chuckle and shake my head as I look at the ground, this girl is a firecracker.

“What?” She asks, emotions giving away that she’s self-conscious and I meet her eyes.

In that moment, after a lifetime of being hated and lonely, I wanted something. Not just something, I wanted her. I wanted a mate, I wanted to be chosen, I wanted life.

I wanted her to want me.

Reader

“I want to take you out.” Jasper said, the words almost knocking me off my feet.

“Like in a murder sense?” I joke back, scared of the alternative.

He steps forward and cradles the back of my head in one of his hands as his mouth drifts towards my ear, a rare display of affection in a crowded parking lot and my heart constricts painfully in my chest.

“No silly girl, on a date.” Jasper’s lips tickle as he whispers, his chest rumbling with a light chuckle as his breath and words shoot goosebumps in a tsunami-type fashion down my body.

I inhale sharply, Jasper Hale asking me on a date? I clench my fingers in the front of his shirt, surely this isn’t real.

“Say yes,” he whispers into my temple, “you’re overthinking it.”

My brain function winks out at the feel of his lips on my skin, like he knows the effect he can have on my poor nerves.

“I can’t, I still have homework to do. And you know, chores and stuff.” I whisper back in a trance, squeezing my eyes shut.

Jasper tilts his head back and lets out a hearty laugh at my half-assed response.

“What?” I demand, my brows furrowing in confusion.

“Darlin, you’re so sure of everything until it comes to what you feel. The one thing you’ll never have to doubt is that I’m yours now, ready or not.” He tells me, a confident grin on his perfect lips. “And you didn’t have to take me up on my offer tonight.”

My cheeks burn as I grin at his words, I know he’s right. “I-it’s just-you-“ I stutter, words failing me at his confession.

“Shhh, I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls me back in to kiss my hairline, settling my nerves. “I can wait. For you, I’ll wait.”

Next

[toomuchracket]

Mads I have this concept in my mind. I see it with d word Matty. I think beginning of the relationship, maybe Matty is supposed to be away for a couple of days so girlie is having a self maintenance night. I imagine her with her hair up to have heat less curl, self tan, maybe some pimple patches. And then Matty surprises her by coming back early, maybe she's waiting for her food, she opens the door and it's Matty. She's super embarrassed/self conscious but of course he's super chill about all of it.

this inspired me to write a lil fic! seeing it as set after candlelight, but before any d words or l words were used lol. enjoy! <3

i've been dying to meet you (d word matty x reader fluff)

the doorbell rings just as you're applying your under-eye patches. you don't rush to get it, though - the drivers know to just leave your food order at the door to your flat once you've buzzed them up. god forbid anyone sees you like this, after all, in the midst of your thursday night routine; you probably look insane, wandering around in your dressing gown and slippers, hair wrapped around a pair of tights and clipped up, face covered in sheet mask and pimple patches, respectively.

but you feel good. and you'll look good tomorrow. which is imperative, given that you’ll see your boyfriend (it still feels weird being able to say that, honestly) for the first time in 20 days.

the thought of that has you slightly giddy. humming happily, you dance through the flat towards the door, only pausing in the living room to click play on the next episode of sex and the city and have a sip of your wine. the mouthwatering scent of your dinner seeps into the hallway, growing stronger as you near the door - it's never quite been so potent before, but then again, you’re fucking starving. 

still humming tunelessly, you open the door to grab your food, and come face to face with matty.

your breath catches in your throat in horror - he can't see you like this, so soon into the relationship! - but your heart swells at the sight of your boyfriend in his hoodie and sweats, your (open!) takeaway in his hands. he grins when he sees you, eyes lighting up as he takes in your appearance; you tense up in preparation of him taking the piss out of it.

he doesn't, though. “hi, baby,” matty says softly. “stole one of your prawn crackers - hope you don't mind.”

you blink. “how- how did you get up here? you didn't buzz.”

“offered to hold the door for the delivery guy and just came in after him. and then i offered to bring this up when i asked if it was for your flat and he said yeah. felt like i was 22 again, honestly, in my old job,” your boyfriend smiles. “although i can safely say i never ever delivered a takeaway to someone as hot as you back then.”

“don't make fun,” you groan, stepping to the side to let him into the flat - he kisses your temple as he passes you - and kicking the door shut. “nobody was meant to see me tonight. s'why i asked them to ring the doorbell and just leave the food without me answering.”

“i did wonder why it took you so long to get to the door, darling,” matty calls over his shoulder as he wanders into your kitchen. he furrows his brow when you walk straight past and continue into your bedroom, laying the food on the counter and following you - well, until the door closes before him. “babe? are you… annoyed at me?”

“no, i'm just putting underwear on,” comes your muffled reply, followed by the sound of a drawer opening and closing.

“don't feel you need to do that on my account, sweetheart, i insist. actually, i'm more than happy to also get naked, if you prefer.”

despite your lingering shock at seeing him, you giggle at your boyfriend’s eager tone. “no, it's alright, matty.”

“you're sure? i've already got my shirt off.”

the speed with which you open your bedroom door at that phrase is almost embarrassing. matty - shirtless, as promised - smirks when you do. “i can't believe you had no pants on when you answered the door.”

you frown, flicking him on the stomach; he just laughs and follows you into the kitchen. “shut up, i couldn't put clothes on, i had just moisturised.”

“what, your arse and all?”

“mhmm.”

“interesting,” matty smirks again. “wouldn't mind seeing that process, to be honest.”

“for fuck's sake, matthew.”

“sorry, darling, couldn't resist,” your boyfriend grins. his face softens into a more tender smile. “just missed you, s'all. hope you don't mind that i came over early and interrupted your pamper night - couldn't settle at home, knowing you were only a few miles away for the first time in weeks.”

the sweetness of his revelation goes straight to your knees; you wrap your arms around his neck to hold yourself up, and press your lips to his in a tender kiss. it deepens when matty runs his tongue across your lips, slipping it into your mouth when they open, but that's as passionate as it gets - the overwhelming emotion behind the kiss is just sheer affection.

“i missed you too,” you kiss matty's nose when you pull away. “and you're not interrupting anything, really, s'just my usual thursday night routine,” you pull the little containers of food from the bag and turn to get a plate from the cupboard. “d'you want to split this with me? i ordered too much.”

matty nods, taking the plates from you and grabbing a fork from the drawer to dish the food up. “thanks, sweetheart. so, tell me more about this thursday night thing. you do this every week?”

“yeah, whenever i'm home, just to prep for the weekend. haven't you ever noticed i always look better at work on fridays?” you grin, pouring your boyfriend a glass of wine.

“not really. i think you look beautiful every day,” matty smiles, kissing your hand after you pass him the wine. “although i have noticed your hair is usually really curly during friday meetings. i like it.”

you point to your head. “blame this.”

“serious? i thought you were going to get a blow dry after work or something.”

“nah,” you giggle. “i just go to sleep with this in. feels a bit weird, but i like the end result.”

“so do i,” matty smiles. “you're so pretty, baby.”

your cheeks burn, and you smile bashfully at the floor. “well, when i take all these weird stickers off my face, maybe.”

“no, even now,” matty gently tilts your chin up so he can look you in the eye. “you’re beautiful. my perfect girl!”

he leans down to kiss you again; you giggle as he pulls away afterwards. “oh, you're down bad bad for me, aren't you? still thinking i'm pretty even when i've got pimple patches on.”

“well, yeah, i have eyes.”

“pretty ones, at that,” you rest your hand on his jaw, and he turns to kiss it. “i'm glad you came to see me tonight. would you like to stay over?”

“if i say yes, do i get to be pampered a little bit?” matty giggles.

“oh, i'll take care of you, don’t you worry, baby.”

[stemgirlchic]

secret spy mission for when you're not okay

broken into "really really not okay" "really not okay" and "not okay"

really really not okay: mission stay safe

make sure you're in a safe place

hug your pillow, get under your blankets, anything that can be a little bit of comfort

if you're watching/reading/otherwise consuming something that's triggering you, put it away. or at least put it down for a moment. even if it's your work, even if it's an important news story that deserves your attention, it's okay. there will be other times to interact with it

if you're having bad impulses - rip a piece of paper, hit something soft, hell even throw something (preferably not something expensive but anything is better than hurting yourself or someone else)

deep breaths. i know it's cliche but it helps

ground yourself: 3 things you see, 2 things you hear, 1 think you feel.

really not okay: mission stabilize (pick 1-2 of these mission objectives)

watch funny videos online (i like SNL and clips from the office)

read a chapter of that book you set aside

if you can, get some fresh air, whether that's a short walk or just opening a window

if you're up for it, exercise can help, even just some stretching

work out your feelings creatively: draw, write angsty teenage poetry, sing a ballad in the shower, anything. we are creative creatures.

listen to some music - my friends all like listening to sad music when they're upset, but i find happy music helps. whatever works for you.

text/call/chat with someone you care about, even if it's unrelated to how you're feeling rn. just a meme or an emoji even, remind yourself you are loved.

not okay: mission small steps

get yourself some water

get a snack - it doesn't have to be complicated. a piece of fruit, some cheese and crackers, some chips, popcorn, pretzels, leftovers from last night. don't feel bad. this is productive. you are being productive. this is what you need rn.

turn on some chill music

make a list of the things you have to do - "must do today or there will be severe consequences", "should probably do today", "don't have to do today"

put aside the "don't have to do today". it's okay. there will be other days, better days. dramatically rip off that part of your to-do list, crumble it up, and throw it in the nearest trash can basketball star style.

start with your must dos. work for 15 minutes, then take a 5 minute break. if you can't do 15 minutes straight, do whatever time amount you can do. slow progress is still progress. i'm so proud of you.

take a nice, rewarding break after your must dos. you deserve it. then - reassess. are you up for your "should dos"? if so, repeat the last bullet point with them. if not, that's okay. there will be other days.

you did it. i'm so proud of you. one day you will look back on today and think "wow, i was so strong for getting through that. i can't believe i got through that" and you will be right. because you are so strong. ily <3 you are the best spy ever.

[richonnelvr218]

What Makes Richonne Special

Throughout the day, mostly when things calm down at work or out of the blue at home, Richonne will come to my mind.  I might see an apple or the weather reporter might say East, and I will smile and my heart will swell, and I will feel happy.  Richonne make me happy. Why do I react to them in this way?  Why are they so special?  I have many couples that I love to pieces, but none like Richonne.  I don’t think of my other couples out the blue.  The other couples are not a daily part of my life, but my Richonne are always with me.  I watch Richonne scenes every single day.  I have not stopped watching The Ones Who Live since the first episode aired.  I am a true blue down in the deep Richonne fan, and I knew they were special from the moment they met at the fence.  

Why were they special from that moment? 

Because Danai and Andy have amazing chemistry? It is that.  They certainly do have insanely intense chemistry.  But, it was also more.

A few days ago, I saw a clip, one I hadn't seen before, of Danai talking about how Richonne got together and when they were filming Clear she thought it could happen. Clear was big for Richonne, but their meeting at the end of Hounded, S3x6, was when Richonne truly started because that’s the moment that changed them. That was the moment they saw each other. 

Think of the word “hounded”.  It means to pursue with or as if with hounds.  To pursue. I like that.  Was hounded not what they were by people or ghosts all episode? Indeed they were.  But at the end of this episode their pursuits end.  They found something they needed. Their safest place.  Their person. 

Both Danai and Andy, as well as others, have said Richonne finally saw each other on the couch and it clicked.  I can accept that.  They saw each other in that “It’s Always Been You” light.  But guess what? That's always been the case.

Why are Richonne so special?  I;m talking about infinitely more special than any couple I have shipped and loved prior to and after discovering them?  Again, I love my other couples, but when I compare them to Richonne, there is no comparison. It’s like comparing a pack of crackers to a five course meal.  It's all food, but not at all the same.

The truth is when Richonne met they truly saw each other.  They saw in each other that something inside themselves they didn't see, maybe didn't want to see, but knew was there.  Inside them. Hounding them.  Danger, fear, and determination to live and protect those they love at any cost. To not go back to that dark, isolating place they enter when they cannot protect those they love. The place each were when they met. They looked at one another and saw themselves. Someone frightening but not. Someone dangerous, but not.  Someone hurting with a hurt they each recognized.  Rick had been shot and Michonne was newly shot. Rick had just lost Lori and Michonne had lost Andre and Mike.  

Grief and Pain.  Physical and emotional trauma. And they saw that and more in each other. I go so far as to say they saw their future, too.

In Clear, Rick allowed Carl, his baby boy, to go off with Michonne.  A woman he had known all of  about five days. A woman who carried a katana and had no hesitation in using it.  Yet, Rick trusted her with his most precious thing.  His first born. His son.  In Clear, Richonne bonded.  Michonne opened herself to Rick, shared some of herself, and Rick appreciated that. Even made an attempt at a joke by saying he saw things. 

In Clear, Rick already trusted her, because he knew her. He saw her.  He saw her at the fence.  He saw himself inside her at the fence.  

He saw himself inside her at the fence.  

There was no pun intended with that sentence, but there is double truth in it.  Richonne were connected at the fence.  Roughly nine months later, they were connected in body.  Rick was truly inside Michonne in all ways, and that connection solidified, melded their soulmate bond.  That heat, that passion, that love sealed their forever fate. 

Richonne saw each other at the fence.  All the hurts, pains, fears, every unspeakable thing they don't need to speak, they see everything in each other.  More, they accept it without question, and make no attempts to change it.  They are each other.  He is her and she is him.  They are indeed one half of a whole.  Two pieces that make one. They are a perfect fit. 

Richonne love each other. They truly love every single thing about each other, and there's nothing either could ever do to change that.  It's fact, truth, gospel, it's everything.  That's why Richonne are so special.  They are the definition of ride or die. Through any and everything, they are there for each other.  They are an unbreakable bond. 

That's why they are like no other couple.  They understand each other on a level no one else could ever understand.  They accept each other without question.  They speak their own language.  They speak without words. They see each other.  They are connected. They are love. They are Richonne.

[zalrb]

Here Is The Thing About Movies Now Vs. Then

There is a certain darkness to ‘90s movies, which is just not the trend right now and as a child of the ‘90s, I prefer the former.

So, for instance, Hocus Pocus 1993 starts with the witches murdering a child by sucking her life force

like they dance in front of her corpse because they’re younger

her older brother failed to save her

and calls the sisters hags and so his punishment is to live forever as a cat so he can always remember his guilt for not saving his little sister

and when the mob from the village comes to burn them, they hide the dead child under a blanket while yelling that they aren’t witches

it’s HILARIOUS because it’s SO dark but also slapstick just like when they’re about to be hanged, the boy’s parents just want to know what happened to their son 

and she makes a joke

Like, if you think about it that’s pretty fucked up.

This Hocus Pocus starts with Winnie not wanting to marry a boy and setting some houses on fire

In the original movie when it’s current day, Max and Dani are being hassled  and get their candy stolen

Max gets merked

Thackery is murdered but then comes back to life because he’s an immortal human in a cat’s body

they kidnap Dani

like it’s a Halloween movie.

Hocus Pocus 2 is a movie that happens to take place on Halloween. There’s an undercooked storyline about friendship and an obligatory heavy-handed lesson about being sensitive to others’ differences with a dash of the power of sisterhood at the end. There are, like, one or two cool visuals and some atmospheric shots

but overall it’s very safe and very sanitary. It’s like what they did with Aladdin. From two other posts of mine:

So I watched the “A Whole New World” clip for the Live Action Aladdin

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and I get that the live action isn’t going to be the exact same as the cartoon but one of the things that I really loved about the original animation is the dark sense of humour. So before Aladdin takes Jasmine on the carpet ride, I kind of love that Jasmine thought Aladdin killed himself because she told him to jump off a balcony

and the fact that they changed that is unsurprising but still has me like, eh.

[..] and one of my favourite parts of the animated version is that when they’re on top, we see Jafar and Iago humiliate the people, namely Jasmine

and the sultan, who they thought looked down upon and humiliated them, which included Iago shoving crackers down the sultan’s throat.

I do understand that the above scene might be considered too dark (it’s probably why I love it so much) but this Iago is just a parrot that literally did not need to be there.

Or it’s like the original Jumanji, I answered an ask about why I considered the original dark and the full post is here but an excerpt:

imagine being a kid who watches her friend being sucked into a game and then is chased out of the house by bats

And no one believes you when you explain that your friend is gone because he was sucked into a game so then you have to go to therapy to convince yourself that what you saw was impossible because it technically is impossible and you even change your name because you don’t want to be associated with ANYTHING about that night because it was the night you saw your friend get sucked into a GAME but then he comes back twenty years later and asks you to continue playing that game and you legitimately think you’re having a psychotic episode

and then you have the remake --- and don’t get me wrong I absolutely adored the first instalment of the remake, Jack Black was hilarious --- where, like, yeah you can potentially die in the game if you lose all of your lives but there aren’t really any nuances or implications that make you go, that’s pretty fucked up once you think about them, it’s just a fun movie

which is, I mean it is what it is but I definitely finished Hocus Pocus 2 thinking it left no impression

[beardedmrbean]

Hundreds of “radicalized” kids rampaged through the halls of a Queens high school this week for nearly two hours after they discovered a teacher had attended a pro-Israel rally — forcing the terrified educator to hide in a locked office as the teen mob tried to push its way into her classroom, The Post has learned.

The mayhem at Hillcrest High School in Jamaica unfolded shortly after 11 a.m. Monday in what students called a pre-planned protest over the teacher’s Facebook profile photo showing her at a pro-Israel rally on Queens Oct. 9 holding a poster saying, “I stand with Israel.”

“The teacher was seen holding a sign of Israel, like supporting it,” a senior told The Post this week.

“A bunch of kids decided to make a group chat, expose her, talk about it, and then talk about starting a riot.”

Hundreds of kids flooded into hallways and ran amok, chanting, jumping, shouting, and waving Palestinian flags or banners.

Many tried to barge into the teacher’s classroom despite school staffers blocking their entry.

“Everyone was yelling ‘Free Palestine!’” a senior said.

“Everyone was screaming ‘(The teacher) needs to go!’” a ninth-grader said.

“They want her fired.”

School administrators and the NYPD, which responded to the school at about 11:20 am, got wind of their plans just in time to rush the teacher into an office and lock the door, another educator said.

Students recorded the commotion, posting multiple videos, some set to pulsing Arabian music, on TikTok.

“When a protest brakes (sic) out because a teacher stands with Israel,” a caption on one says.

Another reads, “Hillcrest high school had a riot because a Health teacher was supporting Israel.”

Most comments posted on the videos applauded the kids and jeered the teacher, one calling her a “cracker ass bitch.”

Clips showed a water fountain ripped out in the hallway and shattered tiles in the second-floor boys’ bathroom, which students admitted they vandalized.

The NYPD not only sent a couple dozen cops to restore order but tapped its counterterrorism bureau to investigate a possible threat against the school, according to City Councilman James Gennaro (D-Queens), citing officials.

“Whether it was one student or multiple students who did or said something, whatever the trigger was, something happened. And I know from my many years on the City Council that the counterterrorism task force is not engaged unless they believe it is potentially a serious situation,” Gennaro said.

The teacher gave a statement to The Post, which is withholding her name for her own safety.

“I have been a teacher for 23 years in the New York City public school system — for the last seven at Hillcrest High School. I have worked hard to be supportive of our entire student body and an advocate for our community, and was shaken to my core by the calls to violence against me that occurred online and outside my classroom last week.”

“No one should ever feel unsafe at school — students and teachers alike,” she added.  

The teacher continued: “It’s my hope in the days ahead we can find a way to have meaningful discussions about challenging topics with respect for each other’s diverse perspectives and shared humanity,” the teacher said in her statement. “Unless we can learn to see each other as people we will never be able to create a safe learning community.”

The school’s deans, and a sergeant stationed at the school, finally corralled the students back into classrooms, according to sources and the NYPD.

Cops escorted the teacher safely out of the building.

Students said kids followed and spit on her, but another teacher said that did not happen.

The hostility went further, students told The Post.

“They found where she lives — her address, her phone number, her family and everything — her personal information,” a senior said.

“I heard that some people already called her on her private phone and said some bad things.” Sources could not confirm that.

The chaos and lockdown, which sources said lasted roughly two hours, was one of the most frightening incidents of antisemitism in New York schools and colleges since the Hamas massacre in Israel Oct. 7 sparked the Jewish state’s war with Gaza.

It follows a massive, pro-Palestinian citywide walkout on Nov. 9 by some 700 NYC high school students calling for a ceasefire.

Brooklyn students were captured on video yelling, “F–k the Jews!”

“When I saw the videos that came out, Hillcrest looks very bad on social media,” a mom said at the school’s PTA meeting a day after the wild tumult, raising safety fears.

“I’ve never seen this happening at Hillcrest.”

About 25 NYPD cops raced to the school to quell the disturbance, principal Scott Milczewski told parents. Administrators placed the school in a “soft lockdown,” activating a team of staffers and safety agents trained to handle emergencies.

“There are 2,500 students,” Milczewski said. “Adults will always be outnumbered. I think that’s something we have to understand. And that’s why we’re asking you to speak to your children. We need your support with this.” 

The NYPD was called to the school again the next day, and said cops arrested an 18-year-old student for making threats over a group chat. The student was charged with aggravated harassment.

Gennaro, whose district includes the school, said the Israel-Gaza war gave kids “a convenient excuse” to act out.

“It went from a teacher just changing a photograph on her social profile to this contagion of hate being released in the halls of Hillcrest High School,” Gennaro said.

“It’s a sad commentary on the rancid hate that exists within the hearts of students — for Jews.”

Councilman Robert Holden (D-Queens) called it shocking that high school kids “would gang up on a teacher and harass her.”

“I don’t know why these students are so misinformed, so intolerant and so radicalized. They don’t even know the history of the Middle East. They haven’t been taught that,” he said.

Several students agreed.

“I doubt half of them know how to spell Palestine,” a senior said.

“They just wanted to make drama about it,” a sophomore said of the teacher’s pro-Israel stance.

“Just, like, chaos. They thought of it as fun.”

Students said rumors spread that the teacher “was abusing Muslims” and had taught “it was okay that children were being killed in Palestine.” Another teacher called the accusations “100% false.”

At least three students who organized the riot face superintendent’s suspensions, the most severe punishment, said a source familiar with the incident.

Milczewski said the law forbids him to discuss any consequences for students, but that the DOE “has a discipline code and I promise you that has been followed.”

Mayor Eric Adams denounced the “vile” incident while sharing The Post’s story on X Saturday night.

“The vile show of antisemitism at Hillcrest High School was motivated by ignorance-fueled hatred, plain and simple, and it will not be tolerated in any of our schools, let alone anywhere else in our city.

“We are better than this,” he wrote.

Chancellor David Banks — a Hillcrest graduate himself– vaguely touched on the incident Tuesday during a town hall meeting with Manhattan parents.

“We have our whole team working very closely with the students and the teachers at the school. But what’s happening in the Middle East has gotten a lot of emotions from a lot of people. We’re still figuring out what’s going on.”

The city Department of Education decried the incident.

“We are aware of the completely unacceptable incident that occurred at Hillcrest High School last week, and our safety team is actively collaborating with the superintendent and principal to fully investigate the matter and protect the safety of both students and staff,” a spokesperson said in a statement. “No form of hate,  whether it be antisemitism Islamophobia, or other form of bigotry will be tolerated in our schools.”

[wambsgansshoelaces]

Something Sweet; Chapter 2

Kendall Roy x Reader

a/n: let me know your thoughts! any favorite parts yet? please enjoy!

word count: 2,289

You inhale and hold your breath, gripping a piping bag tightly. Precision is what you were hailed for in pastry school, and nothing has changed since then.

You’d made the graham cracker crumble from scratch and after oiling the pan the pie would bake in, you shaped the crust yourself, packing the crumble into the pan. You like baking the crust on its own and keeping the filling cool- you think it gives pie personality. It makes it memorable.

You’ve baked the crust and filled the pie- now you need to top it. Using the bag in your hands, you carefully pipe swirls of whipped cream on top of the set filling. You cut thin slices of lime to twist and stick in each swirl. After what seems like an eternity of holding your breath, you step away from your workspace. It’s perfect.

You wipe your hands on your apron before asking a kitchen maid where the dishes and silverware are. She offers to take them out for you, and you gladly accept. You take a breath, pick up your pie, and enter the dining room.

Logan is much more imposing in person than on TV. Even though he’s seated, he finds a way to look down his nose at you. Marcia sits at his side and gives you an encouraging smile that you return.

You deftly cut up the pie and softly thank the same servant from before as she helps serve Logan and Marcia.

Scrutiny of your work wasn’t new to you. It’s apart of your job, clearly, and you’re are past the point of taking things personally.

Marcia looks pleasantly surprised, eating her slice relatively quickly. Logan does, unsettlingly, the opposite. He chews for a while, taking tiny bites. He slowly finishes his slice, you awkwardly standing there watching.

You smile, self-satisfied, as he serves himself another slice.

જ⁀➴

After you gather your things, you and Marcia take some time to negotiate the Christmas dinner.

“You can do cakes, right? More pies?”

“Of course I can, Mrs. Roy. Don’t be discouraged if I don’t have something on my menu that you want me to do for the dinner.”

She walks you to the elevator, her heels clicking on the marble flooring. “I’ll write a sample menu up and have someone bring it by no later than tomorrow. Your baking really is lovely. Kendall is waiting for you downstairs.”

Before you leave, you ask for the bathroom. It was now four in the afternoon, and you and Kendall had agreed that you’d go out for an early dinner right after you were done. You change into the fanciest outfit you could find in your closet, fixing your face and hair in the mirror before heading back downstairs.

He’s waiting for you in the lobby.

Kendall looks more put together than he did before. You assume the high has worn off- there’s a look of clarity in his eyes that wasn’t there this morning. “You look nice,” he says, getting up from his seat.

He’s dressed finely- a crisp, gray suit and polished black dress shoes. His tie matches his shoes and is set in place with a steel tie clip.

“So do you. You clean up nice.”

Kendall smiles softly, takes your tote from you, and slings it over his shoulder. “How’d it go?”

“I think he ate half of the entire thing by the time I left.”

“Good for you. I told you you’d be fine.” He hands off your bag to the driver and ushers you into the back seat of the car, climbing in after you. “Does that mean you’ll be spending Christmas with us?”

You glance out the window as the car starts to move. “I’m not actually sure. I know I’m going to be bringing things in that day, but I don’t think I’m going to eat there.”

“Why not?”

You turn back to look at him. For a moment, you just stare at each other. “What do you mean, ‘why not’? I’m the caterer, not the pope.” He says nothing back. “Where are we going, anyway?”

Kendall averts his gaze from you. “A nice restaurant I think you’ll enjoy.”

You two spend the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence. Every so often, you notice Kendall glance towards you, like he’s worried you’re not actually there. And, being honest, you catch yourself sneaking looks at him.

When you make it, it’s half-dark outside and the restaurants and sidewalks are lit up with fairy lights and strewn with decorations for the holidays. Kendall offers you his arm, which you take.

He takes you into the fanciest place on the street. Skylights and open-air seating are littered throughout the restaurant, crystal chandeliers hanging from the high arched ceilings and small candles sitting on every table.

The hostess doesn’t even ask him for his name when she sees you both and takes you into a secluded corner of the restaurant. It’s dimly lit, and your table sits next to a ceiling-to-floor window permitting a gorgeous view of the other side of the city.

“Kendall,” is all you can say as menus are set in front of you and the hostess leaves you to look it over.

“I’m not going to hear it. I brought you here because I wanted to, okay?” He looks at you over his menu and nudges your leg with his. “Should we order wine?”

“I’m not much of a drinker.”

“More for me, then. I’ll order you a Shirley Temple,” he says teasingly.

“I don’t know what you mean. Shirleys are fucking great.” You both chuckle lightly at each other. “There’s so much to pick from.” You leaf through the menu, poring over the entrées. Obviously, almost everything costs an arm and a leg, but you are prepared to pay for and enjoy yourself.

“What’re you liking?” Kendall asks you idly. “Everything’s good here. You can’t go wrong.”

You’re craving wings, but you don’t want to deal with the mess, and while a plain Caesar salad is always good, you knew you’d need more to eat than that. You eventually settle on a plate of shrimp and steak tacos that Kendall said was too spicy for him and put your menu down to study the man across from you.

Kendall Roy is hot, you decide. His hair sits neatly on his head, feathering a bit over his forehead. His eyelashes are long and wispy and you almost want to ask him how he gets them that way. They flutter each time he blinks, and shift mechanically when he looks up at you.

“So why did you take me out, then?” you ask, propping your head on your hand.

He doesn’t answer, instead flagging down a waiter and ordering for the both of you. You sit, twirling your straw in your Shirley Temple. “Well?” you prod, watching him shift in his chair.

“I don’t get what you mean,” Kendall says, avoiding your gaze.

“Yeah, you do.” You nudge his leg with your foot. “You didn’t take me out because you owe me, but because you want to. Your words, so… elaborate.”

You don’t really know what you want him to say, but you know you want him to be thinking about you the way you’ve been thinking about him while sitting in this restaurant.

“Can I be honest?” Kendall asks, louder than his usual decibel. His eyes finally meet yours.

“I’d hope you always were.”

“In the beginning, it was because I thought I owed you. It’s not that, anymore. You’re pretty, and I like being around you, which kind of scares me, really. You don’t make me feel shitty, which, granted, is the bare minimum, but…” He trails off, looking into his glass of wine. “I… I’m sorry. I said too much.”

You think he’s said just enough. “Kendall, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.” You’re looking at him, and he’s avoiding your gaze again.

“I like you. But I liked you too quickly.”

He’s honest, you’ll give him that.

“What do you want to do, then?”

Kendall finally looks back up at you. “I want to keep seeing you,” he says firmly. “Um, only if you want to.” His eyes flicker away from yours, trying to look away, but he forces himself to look back at you.

“That’d be nice,” you say truthfully. You both don’t say anything until your food is sitting in front of you. “You don’t strike me as a steak guy.”

Kendall laughs lightly and looks up at you. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Steak’s just.. so not you.”

“I mean, you’re right, but how do you know that?”

“It’s my thing, Kenny.” You both start eating, the chatter flowing freely now. “You said these were spicy.”

“Because they are.” He looks at you incredulously. “But then again, I’m not exactly.. spice tolerant.”

You laugh. “You can’t handle spice? It makes sense.”

“That’s not very kind of you,” he teases. “And what, you can take it like a champ?”

“Yes, I can, Kendall.” You continue to eat. “You know the pain from spice isn’t actually real? Nothing actually happens to you if you eat something spicy.”

“Tell that to my immune system.” He scoffs and continues to cut up his steak. “Can we take the conversation away from my inability to digest sriracha?”

You take a sip of your Shirley and fix your gaze on him. “Okay. What’s your favorite color?”

Kendall doesn’t say anything for a moment, chewing. “Don’t have one. Next.”

“We can’t just gloss over that!”

“Why not?”

“You don’t have a favorite color?”

“Why would I?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“It’s not something that’s crossed my mind, ever.”

“Not even as a kid?” As you’ve been speaking, your legs tangled with his under the table. “Come on. You don’t look at any color and go, ‘that’s serotonin inducing’, or whatever it is that you’d say?”

He scoffs. “I don’t talk like that. And no, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do talk like that. And we have to change that. How do you get someone to pick a favorite colors?”

“Don’t even ask.” Kendall shrugs his suit jacket off, hanging it off the back of his chair. “What’s your favorite color, then?”

“I’m not telling until you tell me yours.”

He laughs. “You’re a piece of work.”

You both finish off your plates when he asks, “Are you feeling dessert?” to which you respond with “Always.”

You both share a thick slice of German chocolate cake, which you learn is his favorite. “My mother made it when she and my dad were still together. Granted, she’s English, so it’s probably not authentic, but I miss it.”

You steal a cherry from his side of the plate. “I promise you mine’s better.”

“You can’t just say that.” He nabs a cherry from your side in return.

“Of course I can.”

“You’ll have to prove your word, then,” Kendall says, leaning back in his chair.

“We should make a day of it,” you suggest. “I’ll teach you to make it.”

With the plate empty between you, he crosses his arms over himself. “I’m going to burn your bakery down if we do that.”

“I’m sure a little manual labor won’t kill you, Kendall. No need to threaten me.”

“What? No, I’m not an asshole, Y/N. I mean I’m a safety hazard in the kitchen.”

“I’m sure you’re not,” you say after he asks for the check. “Besides, I’ll be there. You’ll be fine.”

“If you say so,” he mutters. The waiter comes back with the check, and you fish out our wallet. “What’re you doing? Put that away.”

“I can pay for my-“

“No, you won’t. Absolutely not.”

“No, rea-“

“No.”

“Please?”

“You’ll have to fucking kill me before I let you pay for anything when I’m around.”

Kendall slides his card into the checkbook, writing out an outrageous tip, and hands it to the waiter before you can continue to protest.

“Then let me pay you back,” you insist.

“If you ever try paying me back, I’ll genuinely pretend like you’re trying to kill me and call the cops.” He gets his card back and gets up. “Come on. Let me take you home. I had someone leave a car.”

Kendall offers you his hand, and you take it.

“What, did you make the driver walk home?” you ask jokingly, the chilled air hitting you like an anvil. He opens the passenger seat for you and drops his suit jacket in the backseat. He gets in the drivers side and starts the engine.

“Are you working tomorrow?” Kendall asks as you wind through the streets.

“Yeah, I have to. I closed the shop today, I need to earn back the profit.” You sigh. You’d probably wake up early and bust your ass on some fancy French pastry to stick in your displays. They’d sell out within your first hour open.

He pulls into your driveway, puts the car in park, and sighs lightly. “I had a good time tonight,” Kendall says softly.

“I did, too.” You look over at him to find he’s already facing you. You stare at each other for a moment that feels like an eternity.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

You’re now both standing on your porch, stealing glances at each other.

“I’ll text you.” When the words come from his mouth, they sound more like a question than a statement. You nod. You’d like that. Abruptly, he turns on his heel and says, “Good night.”

Before he can move, you catch his arm, stretch onto your toes, and give him a kiss on the lips.

“Good night, Kendall.”

[trickphotography2]

I am so behind on my fic that's due tomorrow 😅 Busting out the wine and pulling a late night to write Hangman and Ladybug. I really love these two, and of course this rom-com is kinda angsty because that's just who I am.

(Unedited) sneak peek:

Jake tried again the next day, only to find that Bug wasn’t at the table. Instead, he saw her walking around the building with her headphones in, flight suit tied around her waist and one of her sleeves pushed up. The third day, he beat her to the table and saw her looking around before walking toward the parking lot. “I don’t bite, Bug,” he called out, and saw her shoulders tense. Her gaze was guarded as she trudged to the table and sat, not saying a word as she pulled out her container of apples, cheese, and crackers with a flavored water. His eyes darted over her meal as she opened the container. “So what’d’ya think about the new group of trainees?” Her hand froze as she dug in her pocket for her phone, eyes slowly lifting to meet his. “They're cocky.” Her answer made him smirk as he reached across the table to grab a hunk of cheese from her lunch. “Hey!” “We were all cocky when we got here. The instructors and Adversary students will beat it outta them.” Bug gave him an incredulous look at he popped the cheese in his mouth and grinned.  “Clearly they didn’t beat it out of everyone.” The steely look she gave him was the most animated he’d seen her. When he reached for a cracker, she slapped the back of his hand. “You have your own lunch, Hangman.”  “That’s not a lunch, Bug, that’s a kid’s snack. You need protein.” Choosing to ignore him, she pulled out her phone, tapping on the screen. Chuckling, he opened his own lunchbox and and took out his meal, stirring the chicken and rice together. He watched her as he ate, smirking every time he caught her glancing at him and noting the rising blush in her cheeks. “Why do you hide out here?” he ask.  “I hardly think sitting outside the office is hiding,” came her clipped response.  “It is if you’re avoiding your squad.”

[wjhik]

Pussy pt. 2 /negative end/ (Jude Bellingham) *Smut*

A/N: Pre writing: don't know where i'm going with this one. Let's see where it goes. p.s. this is not the end of the series. if i get requests to continue it, it is not closed off. Post writing: kinda smutty; angsty; and a lil lgbtq+ love

Y/N's POV:

"I miss Jude. Not Jude. I miss what Jude used to be. Even if we weren't anything but cuddly friends, I miss when he used to talk to me. I can't believe he's pretending like nothing happened. I gave him my whole heart, and he just took it and smushed it into a billion pieces. And now he has the audacity to bring these girls that he's fucking with to the hang outs I PLAN. I can't not invite him. That would make it so awkward, but the least he could do is not rub it in my face." I'm laying down on my bed on my bed, my head hanging upside down from the end as Phoenix sits on my desk chair, scrolling on her phone while listening to my rants.

"I swear, if he brings someone here I'm going to kill him." She tells me. I've decided to invite my girls and their boyfriends to my apartment for some games and drinks. No more that 10 people. And of course with that, comes Jude. He's, without fail, brought a different girl to our hangouts, which is fine, but since this is a more intimate event, it would be to purely prove a point to me.

I simply sigh at Phoenix's statement. "You need to get hot tonight. Make him realize what he's missing. You need to wear and do everything you know drives him crazy. His lil' whore is gonna show up in a skimpy dress, hoping to turn him on, but you know what makes him tick. That'll show him what he's lost." I feel a gear click in my brain. I'm the person Jude talked to about all of his girls, and what he likes in them.

Phoenix has been ready for the past 15 minutes and I'm getting ready. I have my hair up in a half up half down ponytail using a claw clip. I have my hair curly. (natural for me, but curled if ur hairs straight) I'm wearing a little white sundress. It goes right under my knees. It has a corset bodice and is littered with strawberries and lambs. I have on some close-toe sandals. (no dawgs out today) I'm doing my makeup now. I did my base and put graphic white eyeliner. I have a blurred out velvety lip on and I put on some jewelry. I deck myself out in some gold and the necklace that Jude gave me in middle school. It has a 'j' on it. I leave the chain hanging on my neck and put on a white lacy choker.

"Really? Jude is into Little Bo Peep?" She asks me, raising her eyebrows at me. "Hey, Little Bo Peep is finding her sheep. Leave her be." I tell her, pouting and clipping my earrings. Phoenix comes up to me and squeezes my cheeks and shakes my face side to side. "You look adorbs." She tells me, slapping my face lightly. I hit her hand away and start cat fighting with her. We start laughing together as we hear the doorbell ring.

"Hello!!" I say, pulling Jane and Josiah into a hug. "Come in. Come in. Make yourself at home." I tell them. Jane helps me set up some things in the kitchen while Josiah and Phoenix move the table and couches in the living room to the ends of the room, making space to dance. Over time, people, including Phoenix's man, start to filter in. Everyone except he who shall not be named at his arm candy for the night. "Y/N, you really outdid yourself." Alex says, taking a bite out of some cheese and ham filled crackers. "Well, I did just assemble them, but thanks." I tell him, giggling. My happiness is quickly interrupted by a very familiar voice. I look over to the door where I see Jude and his girl of the night. I beautiful blonde girl, wearing a dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Jude takes his round greeting everyone and introducing his new girl. As I watch them walk up to Phoenix, Jude having to greet her because she's his best friend's girl, she quickly says some sly remark to Jude while wishing the girl luck. I suppose Phoenix and I have the same narrative about her, an innocent girl who doesn't know what she's getting into.

"Let's play a game!" Phoenix announces loudly. She quickly grabs some glasses, tequila, and an empty bottle. She seats us all in a circle, her sitting to the right of me and the left of her boyfriend. "Are we really playing spin the bottle?" I ask her. "No! We're playing dare or dare." She says. "Dare or dare?" Jude's blondie asks. "Yes, dare or dare. Truth or dare gets kind of boring since your man is such a pussy. He only chooses truth." She says. Jude's girl starts nudging him and laughing along with the group. She immediately stops when she looks at his face, his jaw is clenched and he's staring dead at Phoenix, while saying something to her. This poor girl. (we're a girls girl here+nate jacobs type beat)

"Okay, Y/n. Your turn." Milly says, passing me the bottle. I spin it and it lands on Alex. Now he gets to give me a dare. I look over to Jude and he's looking as mad as ever. Phoenix grabs Alex's face and whispers something in his ear. "Umm...Okay? Kiss her or take a shot." He says, pointing at Phoenix. Alex and Phoenix have a relatively open relationship. "Oh. Umm. Sure, why not?" Phoenix was my first kiss anyway. Once she found out that I still hadn't had my first kiss yet, she decided to help me out. Phoenix nudges me and points at Jude. He looks even madder than before. His girl is trying to comfort him, but is just getting pushed off.

(smut)

Phoenix grabs me and puts me on her lap. She starts kissing me. I don't feel anything since we're just friends, but she is an amazing kisser, I can't lie. She opens her eyes and see's Jude struggling to keep calm. She grabs my ass and that makes me let out a moan. She uses this opportunity to slip her tongue into my mouth. As her and I are making out, I open my eyes to see Jude storming past us, his girl trailing past him like a hungry puppy. Those two disappear somewhere in my house. Phoenix gets me off her and says, "You're welcome." I look behind me to try to see where Jude went. "Hey. Don't even worry about him. Let's have some fun." Phoenix says, helping me up. From that moment on it was shots and bear pong galore.

Jude's POV:

I walk into Y/N's room and slam the door shut while Emery follows behind me. "Jude, I'm sorry." She says. What is this girl on about? "Why are you apologizing?" I ask her, annoyed. "I'm just sorry you're upset. I wanted this to be a good night for you. I don't know what you're upset about, but I'm here for you-" She rambles on. This girl talks way too much. I need to shut her up. I grab her by her shoulder and push her onto her knees. I sit down on the edge of her bed and take off my pants and shove my dick in her mouth. She's gagging and spitting around it. That is fucking disgusting. I hear Y/N laughing outside. She looked so beautiful today. She knows exactly what I like and she took advantage of that. Why does she have to be such a cunt sometimes? I wish this was her right now. Why did she have to be so fucking stupid?

My thoughts are interrupted by a series of taps on my thigh. The one thing this girl has to do is suck me off, and she can't even do that properly. She really doesn't compare. I take my hand off the back of her head. "What? What is it?" I ask her, irritated. "Jude, you were fucking my throat. I couldn't breath." She tells me, taking deep breaths. "Take it, or leave." I tell her. She's nothing to me. She's only here to get me over how I fumbled Y/N. No, wait. She fumbled me.

She continues sucking me off. I go a little gentler on her, distracted by Y/N's voice. I wish this was her. I look down at her, and my hard on goes soft. She's a beautiful girl, no doubt, but she's not Y/N, and that'll never change. "Get up. Up." I tell her, grabbing her by the arm. She stands up and look at me. I quickly take off her clothes and the rest of mine. I push her into the bed, on her stomach. I line my dick up with her hole and push it in. I close my eyes and imagine Y/N here with me.

She lets out all sorts of lewd sounds. I suppose she's trying to keep me interested, but I want nothing more than for her to shut the fuck up. It's hard to picture Y/N when she's squeaking out moans with her very high pitched voice. I push her head into the mattress in an attempt to hide it. Her pin-straight blonde hair is hard to imagine Y/N. (sorry if you have pin-straight blonde hair)

I've finally gotten this girl to shut up and take it well. I'm picturing Y/N laying here, taking all of me. I look over to Y/N's side table where she has a picture of her and I on a school vacation together. I can't help but think about how badly I want her. "Fuck, Y/N..." I say quietly, throwing my head back in pleasure. I look down to see long golden locks splayed over the mattress. "What did you say?" I high pitched voice says. I look down to see Emery looking back at me. "Umm..." I say, awkwardly stopping. I look at her, pure sadness on her face. I resume my thrusts on her cunt. "You and I both know who I'm thinking about. It's not personal." I tell her. To my expectations, she stays quiet and allows me to continue fucking her.

Y/N's POV:

"Girl, this was so fun." Phoenix says to me at the door. "I know! We should do this again, sometime." I tell her. "Yes, we should. Let's go, baby?" Alex chimes in. They stayed after everyone left to help me clean up, and now that a majority was all cleaned up, they're leaving. I hang at the door until I see them get in the car safely. I sigh to myself and shut the door. I really wasn't expecting this to be as good of a day as it was, but I'm glad it was. It is now time to go to bed. It's been a long day. I can't wait to hit the pillow.

I pick up some loose pieces of garbage here and there before finishing up the last of the dishes. I put them in the drying rack and dry my hands on the towel hanging from the door handle of my fridge. I slowly make my way to my bedroom. I swiftly open the door to see a heart stopping sight. Jude is laying on the bed, MY BED, with his little fling on top of him, facing away from him. Both their eyes turn from wherever they were looking to me. I have a look of pure shock on my face. "What that fuck?!" I yell out. Jude is still laying there in shock. His girl looks back and Jude and clears her throat. "You're welcome to join?" She says, not getting the memo. Jude quickly jerks her off him and gets up. He starts profusely apologizing to me. I collect their clothes from around the room, again MY ROOM, and throw their underwear at them. Both Jude and his girl put on their underwear. "LEAVE!" I yell at Jude. I push him towards the door as his kitten follows, mainly in an attempt to collect her clothes from me. "Baby, I'm so sorry." Jude says to me as I push him out of my front door. "You're a fucking dick." I tell him, pushing him and his girl out, throwing their clothes onto the front lawn. He really is a pussy.

<- - ->

Alternate ending

Wattpad: funkyfishfeet

DM for requests

[anachronistic-falsehood]

WHISKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need ur thoughts & notes on visual appearances for all of the greats!!! what do they all look like out of costume & what r their costumes & vibes like & everything................ wgat would u want to see in art of them etc......... for no particular reason........... kicks clip studio paint under my desk.........

HIIIII HIHIHHIHIIII <3 omgg ok. alright. ok this is gonna get long i am SO SORRY in advance my ass is gonna RAMBLE

STRIDER!!! i have a very clear image in my head of him ok. short king. like 5'2. dark skin, lots of scars from various incidents, keeps his hair in cornrows bc he does not want it to be loose and long bc during his trigger event it was grabbed and pulled a lot while he was getting beat up!!! briefly debated cutting it all off but he did just start growing it out after being made to keep it short in foster homes and he doesn't wanna reset that progress ANYWAY after joining the greats he usually still wears hoodies and jeans, but now he's finally got a little bit of Spending Money so he wears some techwear stuff sometimes, and he might throw on some simple jewelry like thin chain necklaces and the occasional ring or two. no piercings tho, does not want things people could yank out of his skin!!!! the simple jewelry does make him feel like he actually stands out a lil bit more. also V IMPORTANT he finally gets some fucking mobility aids after joining the greats!! he wears a knee brace on his right leg sometimes and he also has one of those sword canes!!! it's got a poignard dagger hidden in it!!! his hero costume is like. fantasy rogue shit. black cloak with a hood, scarf over his lower face, and he wears combat boots EVERYWHERE no he doesn't care if they dont go with his outfit GRAYSON, they're good fucking boots and they're COMFORTABLE dammit!!! may occasionally wear platforms. he likes 2 feel tall

grayson!!! honestly i feel like i'm doing him so dirty w the image of him in my head bc he's a tiefling in canon but here he's just a basic fucking white guy. basic as shit kind of nerdy looking white guy. there's practically nothing to work with in canon for grayson all we know if that he's described as stoic so i'm taking that as hes autistic as hell and doesn't know how to fucking Talk to people. nerdy ass white boy obsessed with medieval shit!!! he's got curly brown hair and has glasses and wears like button ups and shit like that. his costume is a full suit of armor with dragon motifs and he fights with a two sided polearm!!! i have decided tho i would like him 2 have some vaguely inhuman traits??? idk how traits like that work in worm yet tho, like idk if it's a cauldron case 53 specific thing??? i don't think it is but PLS correct me if im wrong!!! i just want him 2 have tiny horns or maybe other small tiefling traits like a tail or something if that is in any way possible without him being a case 53. just as a Nod to what he is in canon bc if i just make him a white boy with no inhuman traits whatsoever i would be like That's Not Grayson who tf is this cracker!!!

RAM MY BELOVED. ok. this guy is straight up jesse mccree. idc that mccree's name has changed i haven't been invested in overwatch in a while but anyway ram just straight up looks like jesse mccree 2 me im SORRY!! like. he is not Muscular like mccree is, he was def skinnier in college and then after joining the greats he put on some weight that he def needed. he's latino, he's from texas, he's got that mccree haircut and scruffy facial hair, he wears cowboy boots and jeans and plaid shirts and OFC a cowboy hat!!! sometimes wears sunglasses when his extreme perception is Too Much for him. he's got a couple tattoos prbably, just random shit he got in college that he thought would look cool, like skulls or knives or some shit. his hero costume is kind of like in canon where he wears a poncho and cowboy hat and all that western shit, but he also wears a bandanna over his lower face. basically when he first joined the greats he was a skinny mexican/texan college kid with Trauma and Depression and a really bad vyncent sol style soul patch and then he got better and turned into a bear <3

min ily!!! she's a halfling in canon and i cannot imagine her as anything but Short As Fuck. like under 5 ft. like 4'6 or somewhere in that range. LITERALLY so fucking tiny!!!! squish her like a bug!!!! i always imagined her in canon with sailor moon ass purple pigtails so i think she's got purple hair. maybe she's the reason virion dyed his idk idk!!!! out of costume she dresses like she shops at claire's tbh. mabel pines but grown up. silly shaped earrings and pants with rhinestones on them and silly graphic tshirts and comfy cardigans!! girl WHAT are you even wearing!!! in costume she is SO different though. she has been underestimated bc of her appearance so she wants to make sure people know she is Not To Be Fucked With. i am so bad at cape costume design so idk exactly what it would look like but im picturing like. black bodysuit with bright blue spiky armor that looks like ice over the vitals, the arms and legs of the bodysuit are cut off to leave them bare because she's transforming her limbs into water and ice in battle more often than not, and her head is wreathed in ice to cover her face and hair. she WILL change her legs into tall ass ice spikes and walk around towering over everyone with her featureless spiky ice head. horrifying thing to see coming at u!!! like slenderman but elsa flavoured

GOD im sorry this is so long. jesus. anyway chungus!!! im changing his name btw his name is gus and chungus was just a shitty mean nickname he was given in school. i CANNOT take his ass seriously with a name like chungus so im changing it. anyway!! u thought ram was a bear??? well chungus is like. a fucking BEAR. ram is like a cub and gus is a Real Bear. Large Hairy Man!!! genuinely fucking huge. tall as hell too. u know hafthor bjornsson?? that fucking guy but fatter and hairier probably. he's like over 6ft. has long hair that he keeps pulled back. sometimes he lets min or virion braid it <3 doesn't rly care about fashion!!! lots of athletic wear!!! in costume he wears a lot of dnd barabarian type shit. always shirtless. wears small pieces of armor like shoulder guards and stuff just for aesthetic reasons but doesn't fucking listen to grayson when grayson's like PLEASE wear some proper armor to protect your vitals shoulder guards aren't gonna do shit!! put on a shirt at least!!! and u know those art pieces of ctechnoblade with the pig skull over his face??? gus wears a skull as his mask!! not sure what kind of skull yet. idk. boar maybe so he's got tusks. sick as hell

points at alphonz. white boy. whitest of white boys you have ever seen. before his trigger event he was like. blond prettyboy. good little catholic boy <3 button ups and khakis and nice shoes. and then he went thru The Horrors!! he let his hair grow out after joining the greats but he doesn't really like. maintain it well. min often brushes it for him bc shes the only one who can get close to him in his super bright super heated breaker state. that's not even important 2 his appearance but its important 2 me that you know that. ANYWAY he puts on some muscle after joining the greats and doing physical training with gus!! also doesn't really care about what he wears anymore so it's a lot of like. wearing whatever someone else has left lying around. strider's graphic tees and gus' huge sweaters and grayson's button ups. likes wrapping himself up in ram's poncho and sleeping on the couch. would wear min's cardigans if they weren't too small to fit him but he does wear her jewelry sometimes. he doesn't really. have much of his own. and doesn't really want to get things of his own because it could all be wiped away in a second if another endbringer attacks. yk. GOD IM SORRY IM RAMBLING JESUS his costume is full paladin armor. elaborate as shit with like a cloak and stuff. grayson had a lot of fun making it for him it was like an art project <3 in his breaker state his entire body looks like it's made of light. glowing like a christmas tree!! and ofc yk he's got wings made of light in his breaker state. that simurgh shit stuck w him!!!

ANYWAY. yeah. tbh they all share clothes a lot. gus can't rly borrow anyone else's clothes bc he's the biggest and this saddens him but to rectify this sometimes the others will purposely buy very oversized stuff to wear as pyjamas so he can steal it and wear it. min can and will steal everyone's shit because she's the smallest. she's got a hoard of sweaters and shirts in her room and she only gives them back when she wants to steal something else. they're family your honour

[isaut]

“oh,” kuroro shifts slightly, pulling away from you at the sound of his phone ringing. you whine, resting your head against his chest while he jostles around to check his phone, which sits on the coffee table. kuroro sighs, recognizing the id. “i’ve got to take this, darling.”

sighing, you pause the show you had been watching, before you took a horizontal approach and ignored the show in favor of each other. kuroro settles back against the couch, answering the phone.

“what is it?”

“i know you’re busy, but i need your help,” phinks says through the receiver. “i’ve got— I’ve got a date tomorrow and i still don’t know what we’re doing.”

“ah,” kuroro says, the tension fully leaving his body. he slides his hand up and down your back. “just do dinner. there’s no reason to stress yourself out.”

“i can’t just do dinner, i really— they’re a dime piece, boss.”

“you would hate all my date ideas,” kuroro says, glancing at you.

you raise an eyebrow, mouthing, who is it?

kuroro holds his phone up to you so you can read phinks’s name.

“i’m running out of time. i’ll do something boring.”

“then just do dinner,” kuroro repeats, “or take them to do that go-karting thing you were talking about.”

“oh, that’s a good idea,” phinks agrees.

“then do dinner after. and clean your apartment.”

“what?”

“clean your apartment so when you come home it’s tidy.”

“it’s fine—“

“they might want to come back to your place for a nightcap,” kuroro says.

“a nightcap?”

“so you should go to the store.”

“but we’ll have just eaten.”

kuroro opens his mouth to speak, but you step in. “phinks, they might want to sleep with you. go to the store and get some snack stuff, like crackers and cheese and meat, along with a scented candle.”

“oh, h-hey, didn’t realize you were there,” phinks says sheepishly.

“hi. take them go karting or whatever so you have an activity you’re into and then to dinner.” your words are clipped, a little irritated with the interruption.

“where should we get dinner?”

“what about a sushi place?”

“doesn’t that seem too fancy?”

you sigh, resting your forehead against kuroro’s bare chest. this phone call needs to end.

“it’s a first date, it’s supposed to be fancy,” kuroro says. “you know who you should call? franklin. i’m sure he has better advice than i do.”

“franklin isn’t dating any—”

“good luck on the date. let us know how it goes,” kuroro says, hanging up the phone and resting it back on the coffee table.

you raise your head once more, smiling at kuroro. “look at him, going on a date.”

“it’s nice to hear.”

“i hope they like go karting,” you grin.

kuroro hums, “hope so,”already closing the distance between you again.

[repulsiveliquidation]

writer x reader where your gf is pregnant and has morning sickness?

morning sickness // writer x reader

a/n : written while heavily fueled by mint chocolate chip and cotton candy ice cream. enjoy. okay, i lied. i tried to write it then but i got distracted and now i'm writing it immediately after waking up and playing with my dogs. enjoy. hopefully.

//

the sun shines through our bedroom as my alarm goes off at 9am Saturday morning. i groan, turning over and wrapping my arm around you. you stir, taking in a deep breath as i leave soft kisses all over your neck. you smile, reaching your arm back to pull my head in closer.

"morning baby," i say, hand rubbing your slightly showing belly when you turn your head for a kiss. i peck your lips softly, rubbing your belly a little more.

“hi love, you sleep okay?” you ask softly turning into your side a little more. you look like you're about to lean in and properly kiss me again when suddenly you shoot up and out of bed straight for the bathroom.

i check my breath and grimace a little, feeling bad for making you grossed out when i hear a loud retching sound. i rush to the bathroom to find you hunched over the toilet, gripping the seat tight.

"oh honey," i start, kneeling beside you and rub your back. reaching for my hair clip on the counter to pull your hair back. i clip it in place and pull you a little into my chest when the wave of nausea goes down. my hand keeps rubbing your back, lips pressed to your forehead leaving soft kisses to comfort you.

i'm about to open my mouth when you push me away and throw up again, my heart breaking into a million pieces seeing you suffering like this. it's been two weeks of morning sickness so far, thankfully today wasn't such a bad bout.

"feeling okay, love?" i ask, as you lean back into my chest. i feel you relax into my arms, forehead pressed into my shoulder.

"better. ugh, that's disgusting, i'm sorry."

"it's not, you're okay baby. just a little throw up, that's all." i say fondly, caressing the back of your neck softly. i help you stand and flush the toilet, holding you gently as we both brush our teeth and head back to bed.

i help you back into bed, tucking you in before walking out to the kitchen. i hear you whine, mumbling that you needed me.

"I'll only be a while, love. Making you a tea and my coffee!"

A warm cup of black tea for the nausea and some salt crackers with a coffee with milk for me, i sit back in bed and help you get something in your stomach so you can take your nausea medication. you grimace and whine about taking medicine, i roll my eyes and make you take them anyway.

you're feeling much better just minutes later, snuggled up tight against me with your leg thrown over mine. your hand softly rubs my chest as i press soft kisses to your hair.

"thank you baby," you whisper, looking up at me softly. i lean in and peck your lips gently, caressing your cheek.

"always, my love. i love you," i say with a smile, hand coming off your cheek and resting on your belly.

"and you, little one. i love you too but, ease off on mommy, yeah?"