#the doctor was a white lady who took one look at me and my mom and assumed we didnt speak english and even after we told her we did

[emulation-0]

doctors are seriously the most insane people ever

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Sister

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack

Rating Sweet

Requested Y/N is a 20 year old young woman, who moves to her brother from London, because her mom died because of a tumour in her stomach. Her brother's best friend is Jack and she's going to fall in love with him, when she meets with him for the first time. Y/N's health is not the best. 

I hummed my little tune as I worked in the kitchen, I was still so new to the house so I felt like baking some nice cookies, as they always helped me feel better. This house and I were still strangers as I only moved down here a week or so ago, to come and live with my brother Samus, he moved down here for business a year or so ago just before my mother got so sick. I tried to force the thoughts of mother and her quick and sharp sickness away and focus merely on my cookies. It was nice to be here with family again even if I did still feel so lonesome sometimes which Samus working so much. 

I stopped a moment and did my best to keep myself level without falling over, 

"Where's the whiskey y/n?" Samus asked as he came through into the kitchen,

"Cabinet," I told him gasping a little, 

"You okay?" He asked checking on me,

"Fine." I forced myself to steady and get on with my baking, 

"Alright so long as you're okay," he said as he fetched the whiskey, 

"What's the occasion?" I asked, 

"Ohh Freind of mine's coming over."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, we play cards together, works at the hospital, he's a nice guy," he explained, 

"Could uhh.. could I meet him?"

"Why?"

"I just... I haven't really met anyone here yet." 

"Yeah alright, you should start meeting people around here I guess."

"He a local?"

"No, uhhh London I think... Maybe you ask him." 

"He's your friend why do you not know?"

He sighed, "Men don't ask each other this kind of thing Y/n." 

"Alright," I rolled my eyes, 

The door knocked so he kissed my head, "Bring the first batch when they're done, Please."

"Course," 

He then headed off to fetch the door with his whiskey, I didn't want to intrude but as soon as the cookies were done I loaded the best onto a plate and headed to the living room, I fixed my dress and hair a little before I headed inside,

"As requested Samus," I smiled bringing the cookies to the table,

"Ahhh yes! you're an angel!" He smiled immediately grabbing one from his seat on the sofa,

I set the plate on the table and stood up adjusting myself again as I saw the man. 

He was... devilishly handsome. 

He stood in our living room, in worn brown shoes, a pair of brown trousers high on his waist, a white shirt with tattered and stained sleeves, a blue waistcoat and a matching blue tie, a youthful well-sculpted face and this fluffy head of dirty blonde hair. 

My goodness, he was handsome! 

I almost felt like swooning over him if not for my brother in the room. 

He turned as he sat his jacket over the chair and was pushing up his sleeves to his elbows he caught my eye and seemed surprised but also intrigued. "Who are you?" he asked with a smirk to his voice and a sly smile across his lips, 

I couldn't answer so I glanced to Samus, who looked between us and it clicked, "Ohh right introductions." He nodded, "Jack, Y/n." He said, "Y/n, Jack." 

Thanks, Samus that's helpful, 

"Doctor Jack Dawkins," He smiled offering his hand,

"Y/n Y/l/n," I smiled taking his hand and letting him give my hand a gentlemanly kiss,

"Y/l/n?" he chuckled, "Ohh now now, there's no way Samus bagged himself a girl as pretty as you."

"she's my sister," Samus interjected, 

"Ohh, that certainly explains it." He nodded, "Miss Y/l/n I take it then?"

"Yes," I nodded with a little blush,

"I must admit it's a little hard to believe a young lady as beautiful as you could be a Miss so long."

"Jack." Samus glared, 

"what?"

"Down boy. she's my sister."

"I'm merely asking." He winked at me before he took a seat in the chair, I tried to go and sit on the sofa so I could be close to him but Samus immediately grabbed me by the bustle and moved me to the other chair across from Jack, so Samus could sit on the sofa between us. 

The boys began their conversation so I smiled and listened politely for a while, 

"Umm these's are fantastic." Jack commented having had a cookie, "These your doing?" He asked me,

"That they are, our mother's recipe. English toffee cookies." I smiled,

"She bakes too." He smirked, "This is getting more and more unbelievable." He said, "There lovely Y/n."

"Thank you Doctor Dawkins," I blushed,

"Just Jack it's alright we're in your house."

"Alright Jack," I blushed, 

"Why has it taken me so long to meet you?" He jokingly smiled leaning his elbow on the arm of the chair and his hand on his chin, 

"I only just moved down here."

"Ohh? How long have you been here?"

"Just a week or so,"

"Aww still brand new." He smiled, "You must let me show you around someday."

"I'd like that very much,"

"Of course, it would be my pleasure." He smirked, 

"How long have you been here Jack?"

"Ohh a few years now, London originally." 

"As were we."

"Aww That's sweet,"

"What brought you here may I ask?"

"I fell into it I suppose, spent ten years in the navy." 

"Ohh that's impressive."

"As a surgeon's lieutenant," Samus added,

"Yes, I was. spent ten years travelling around and I found here to be the most peaceful place to settle down after everything."

"I can see why," I nodded, "You work in the hospital then?"

"Yes, at the Port Victory Royal Hospital,"

"Oh my, that's very impressive Jack."

"It's the only hospital," Samus added,

"Well yes, you uuh you two moved down here then?" 

"Yes, Samus moved here for business I remained to care for our mother."

"Ohhh aren't you a sweet little thing." He smiled, "But your here now?"

"Yes, she uhh she passed away a few months ago." 

"Oh. Forgive me I didn't know."

"It's alright," 

"I am very sorry for your loss, both of you." he said, "You are a very kind little thing to take care of your mother."

"Thank you, Jack,"

"Perhaps you should come down to the hospital some day, maybe your sweetness could rub off on the nurses." he said and I couldn't help but blush, "and of course I'd love you to visit." 

"Perhaps I will." I smiled, 

"so anyway!" Samus interrupted clearly annoyed at us so he and Jack continued their conversations and I sat politely even if many times Jack and I met eyes across the room. I had to blush most of the times, unable to stop myself looking at him.

I rather think I may be in love. 

I stood doing some work on this damn ambergis Fagin had us pick up, trying to get this new stuff to match it, it was hard, and long and boring, but I kept getting distracted. My mind kept wandering to thoughts of y/n. I had been like this since I met her, unable to get that sweet little thing out of my mind.

"Jack..." Samus spoke up, as he had popped in to help out with stuff as he often did, and I admit I had kinda well... "Jack, why are you staring at me?"

"Nothing..." I shrug unable to stop looking,

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He glared,

"No reason..."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"Ohh hell no-"

"What!"

"Oh my god, are you looking at me and thinking about my sister!"

For a moment I was unsure how to answer him I mean... he's not wrong, that's kinda exactly what I've been doing, 

"...Kinda" I gulped, 

"You're kidding!"

"No."

"You are a gross little man."

"What! I'm not doing anything I'm just looking at you.

"Yeah! Looking at me and Imaging my damn little sister!"

 "it's clearly genetic you look similar... enough."

"Stop!" 

"what it's a genetic trait you both have fantastic legs... and I don't get to see her's that much in those big petticoat dresses... ummm" I smirked looking at him a little imaging Y/n's cute little legs, 

"Jack! cut it out!"

"Samus. Relax."

"No, I won't. Cut. It. Out." He warned as we got back to work, 

"You know I like your sister don't you?"

"I'm well aware." He rolled his eyes,

"You think she-"

"Yes, she likes you."

"S-she does?"

"Yeah. She hasn't bloody shut up about you." He sighed, "And you can't shut up about her,"

"Awww, she's so sweet."

"Yeah, she is. leave her alone."

"What is your problem?!"

"My problem! You're the one perving on my little sister!"

"I'm not perving on her!" I complained, "I've been nothing but a gentleman."

"Yeah only because I'm in the room with you" He said, "You don't wanna admit if I left you two alone you'd try something with her?"

"...I'd certainly see if she-"

"See!" He yelled, "That's exactly why I won't let you be alone with her."

"Don't you trust me?"

"No!"

"Why not I'm your best friend?!"

"Exactly! I've been down the cat and bagpipes with you I know exactly what you would do to her if I left you alone with her," He said, "Jack. She's my little sister. Back. Off." 

"She's an adult Samus. You back off." 

"Jack. it's not happening. get that thought in your skull."

"Ohh come on, you know I'd make a good brother-in-law." I teased,

"Like hell, you would!"

"what the hell is wrong with you! I've been nothing upstanding with y/n, and don't you think my intentions kinda have to be good because I know you're gonna be watching us, and looking after her, You think I'd risk our friendship over just trying to screw your sister." 

"I don't care about your intentions your not getting near her!"

"Why not!"

"Becuase she's sick!"

I froze up, "What?"

"she's sick. she's sick. She's always been sick..." he muttered his anger fading, 

"Samus... what do you mean sick?"

"Look I don't know exactly what it is... but she's always been like this, she get dizzy, loses her balance, faints, she barely keeps food down she just.. she's always been like this, always been sick. Our mother used to care for her but,"

"What did your mother die of Samus?"

"Tumor. Found it in her stomach."

"Had your mother been sick like Y/n before she died?"

"Yeah, her whole life," He nodded, "Just like Y/n." he said, "The last thing I want is her to be mistreated in whatever little time she has. Or your little medical experiment. Just drop it Jack."

"what if I could fix her?"

"You can't-"

"Will you let me examine her at least!"

"No!"

"Samus! Please... I really do care about y/n." I admit, "If you let me examine her, I might be able to help her."

"...that's a pretty big might." 

"I know..." I told him, "But do you really wanna sit and do nothing."

"I take it you'd want something in return if you do help her?"

"...If I can help her. Would you let me marry her?" 

He stood fighting his anger and his sadness before he spoke up, "If. and only If. You can fix her." 

"And if I can't? if there's nothing I can do for her?"

"Then it's not happening."

"Samus, if I can't help her, don't you want the time she has left to be happy? for her to get married, to feel the sweet embrace of someone who loves her?"

"You can't expect me to just give you my sister. If you can't fix her. You can't have her. That's the deal Jack." He snapped grabbing his jacket, "I need to get back to her. I see you near her before I say you can examine her... we're gonna have big problems."

"I know..." I nodded, "Tell- Tell her would you?"

"Tell her what?"

"I think you know what I want you to tell her."

"You can tell her that yourself. When you fix her. and not before." He snapped before he left, 

[devihere]

Finding My Way Home.

I couldn't stand it anymore. No one can blame me for running away. I'm standing on the sidewalk with my bag. Where do I go? I remember when it all started...

It was summer. Mom, Dad, and I were in our garden, having fun. Well, that was the day it all changed. You see, Mom was looking after the flowers in our garden, while Dad and I were playing frisbee. We were one happy family. Mom and Dad did quarrel a bit, but I didn't mind. Mom was bringing tea to the outdoor table when we suddenly heard a crash. Dad and I rushed and saw Mom lying on the floor, with her matching pink tea set and tray lying next to her, in pieces. She was rushed to the hospital. Turns out, she fainted, but we weren't prepared for the horrifying news that was to come. The doctors ran some tests and found out that she had terminal cancer and had only a few months to live. We were devastated. I couldn't remember the other details because I was small and I couldn't understand.

We tried to make those last few months the best. We celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year with her.

After she passed away, my dad has been depressed ever since. He didn't work properly so he was fired. He has a lot of debts to pay. The pretty and cheerful garden my Mom had maintained was now reduced to dry bushes and heaps of garbage and bottles. By bottles, I meant liquor bottles. My dad became addicted to liquor when she passed. I tried to make him stop, but he would never listen. The sweet scent of our home was now replaced by the stench of liquor and leftovers.

I could barely remember the last time I ate. I think it was a week ago. All my body hurts, as I passed by the shops and looked at my reflection in the glass. My face was purple and swollen, and I had bruises all over my body. Whenever Dad drank too much, he would finish his anger on me. I couldn't believe that was once the cheerful man who took care of me, with my mother.

My deep thought was interrupted by a Lady, dressed in a white dress with small blue flowers. Her scent was floral, maybe one of those expensive French perfumes. She wore beige high-heels and had a concerned look on her face. Her hair was a mix of brunette and blonde, and she had blue eyes. She also had a pink lipstick on. She reminded me of my mom.

"Mom?", I ask, I hope that she was my real mother, who would pick me up and give me a big kiss. "No dear, I'm not your Mother." she said. "Where are your parents?" she asked.

At that moment, I could feel my vision becoming blurry. I hugged her and cried out loud. "There, there, it's okay." She wiped my bruised face gently with her handkerchief, which matched the scent of her perfume. She handed me a piece of paper with a number. "If anything happens, call me." she said, as she walked away, turning around nervously at me at times. The Police were no help to me. All I needed was her.

I needed to make things right again. I wanted my sweet dad back. I wanted my life back. That lady had somehow made an impact on me She was my sign of hope. I stood there, looking at my way back home and the way to freedom. It was then I realized: What about my dad? What about his freedom? Should I just leave him wasting away? He deserves a better life too, doesn't he?

If I left him, his condition would only worsen. I turned around and returned home. Dad was asleep on the sofa, with a bottle in his hand. I gently took it away, making sure I wouldn't wake him up, and made my way to the hall for the telephone.

fin.

Written by Devi Menon, Grade VIII

Note- This was what I wrote for my grammar exam, so it's not perfect, but I'll make more topics. Thank you for reading this story, I appreciate it.

[noteriii]

𓍯 Velvet Garden 03

A story of the Pretty Sailor Guardian, Sailor Gaia and her lover. 

A neon impasse. 

˚ ⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Sunday morning, you wake up seamlessly. No ragged breathing or sweaty palms; no strange dreams. For once in what felt like ages, you didn’t dream of a woman and her sister named Serenity. You did not dream of a war and a man whose face you could barely make out- who you learned was named Endymion. You did not dream of faceless heroes and villains, nor did you dream of the pain of the faceless Princess Thea. 

Rolling over to your side, you find your phone on your bedside table. A text from your mother is amongst all your other random notifications- 

Mom: I won’t be home until late tonight, my card is on the table. 

Mom: I heard there’s a carnival in town. If you want, you should check it out.

Mom: I know it's for kids but you’ve been home alone a lot recently.. Do something fun today. 

Mom: I love you, Kaede. 

You read her texts, followed by an article link of the carnival she was talking about. It was a child’s carnival indeed, filled with cute animals and a princess. The entrance fee was fairly cheap and you had your whole day off considering you had done all your work yesterday. So, you got up and got dressed for your day. It was a lot warmer than it was Friday night but the large coat hanging in your closet reminded you to bring a jacket just in case. Slipping on a white hoodie and a pair of pink shorts, you threw on your shoes and danced around the kitchen as you scrounged for snacks before you left for the carnival. A simple 30 minute train ride away wasn’t so bad but, you didn’t want to starve yourself on your way there. After taking your time to get ready, making yourself feel pretty for the day ahead, you left your building to walk to the closest train station. 

The sun was bright out today, though it wasn’t scorching hot. Light pink cherry blossoms were starting to bloom on the trees you passed by and you took in a deep breath, admiring their scent. You smiled to yourself once at the train station, glad that it wasn’t as busy as usual. Waiting for your train to come, you rummage through your bag to find your phone to pass time. Instead, you pull out a strange looking brooch that you surely did not remember packing earlier that morning. It was a beautiful silver brooch with the design of what looked like the sun on it with six small and lightly tinted crystals on it. You carefully put it back into your bag, not wanting to scratch such a beautiful accessory before pulling out your phone and aimlessly scrolling. You sat at the bench, reading through the most recent Sailor Moon activities. 

– 

“Endymion, there’s no need to hide.” The woman says amusingly, glancing over to the man who was trying his best to hide behind one of the almost white trees. He leaves his hiding spot, quickly making his way over to her. “What if one of the guards sees me?” He asked her cautiously, only for her to wave her hand as if dismissing the thought. “The scouts are resting and the guards are at meet with my mother and sister, lecturing poor Serenity about tricking them.” The woman explains with a light smile, looking at him.  “I missed you,” She says quietly before he wraps his arms around her tightly, embracing her. 

“I missed you too, my love.” He whispers in her ear quietly, lovingly. 

—

Maybe you should go to the doctor, considering the amount of odd daydreams you’ve been having. Hey Doc, I’ve been having weird dreams of this lady and what i think is her estranged lover dying! You chuckle at the thought as you slip on your headphones to fill in  the quiet space. It’s a few more minutes before the train arrives, but you quickly head in and find a place to hold tight before the vehicle starts moving. 

Sooner than later, you make it to the fair. Big signs lead you to buy tickets and advertise the park: Dreamland. You smile to yourself, seeing the kid like attractions and such around. Entering the park, you take in the smell of the loved carnival food. “Yoo-hoo!! I’m having so much fun!!” a loud voice says, shifting your gaze to the source. You see two familiar blonde buns going up and down on the merry-go-round. You laugh to yourself and called out to her, “Hey, Tsukino-Chan! What’s up?” The blonde perks up at the sound of your voice and gets off the ride as soon as she could, running over to you. She tackles you in a hug, causing you to stumble back a step. “Ryuu-Sama, I’m so glad to see you!” The girl says to you, causing a confused look to crawl onto your features. She’s so excited and I barely know her.? “It’s good to see you too.” You tell her, patting her head before you two part from the hug. There’s a call for her name before you see two girls running to you guys. “Usagi-Chan, we’ve been looking for you!” Says a girl with dark black hair and almost purple eyes. Her gaze shifts over to yours and her eyes widen before she bows her head and greets you. “Ryuu-Senpai, I didn’t think we’d bump into you!” You pause for a second, before you laugh lightly. “No need to bow, Hino-Chan. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You tell her, causing the other girl with her and Usagi to look to you both. “We used to go to school together,” You explained briefly before continuing. “Hino-Chan would get lost in the halls and follow me around even though I was in a completely different grade.” You say with a fond smile on your face, Rei’s face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m Mizuno Ami,” Greeted the other girl with short, pretty blue hair. You smiled at her and gave her a small wave before Rei speaks up again. “Usagi-Chan, you aren’t supposed to run off like that, you know this! We’re.. looking for something and you aren’t helping!” She says, causing the blonde to frown. “Lighten up, Rei-San! I want to have fun!” Usagi says to her friend, only for her to roll her eyes. They don’t seem to be getting along. You open your mouth to speak before you’re interrupted by a new voice. “Hi.” The voice says to your group, startling you all and you guys to shriek. You all looked to where the voice came from, even more shocked with the result. “A talking lion?!” Screams Usagi, gripping your arm and hiding behind you. You looked at the girl a bit worried and stood in front of her to attempt to ease her. “Don’t worry, he isn’t a real animal.” Says a new voice, a girl in a poofy dress and crown. “You’re the Dream Princess. I saw you on TV.” Usagi speaks from behind you as the girl nods. Ami eyes the lion suspiciously, her glance shifting to you and Usagi for a second. “Are you sure the lion is fake?” Ami asks the princess, causing her to nod and show us a remote. She presses a button and the lion sits down, proving to us that the animal is indeed a toy. “They’re kinda.. Cute..” Usagi says, stepping away from you and closer to the lion. “I’m getting bad vibes from her..” Rei mumbles to Ami, you look over to them and nod. More and more animals waddle over to your small group, effectively gaining Usagi’s attention. You, on the other hand, feel your heart racing. Why do I have a bad feeling about all of this? You watched Usagi and the Princess talk about a party with candy, causing the blonde���s eyes to light up. “Oh, I can’t wait!!” She says excitedly before you quickly grab her hand and walk away, her friends following behind you too. You felt your heart pounding and a knot of anxiety tangling in your chest. You felt so protective over Usagi and her friends yet, you barely knew any of them. Was it because you were the oldest so you felt responsible for them? “I don’t like her. There’s something off with her.” You say as you finally stopped walking, far enough from the Princess so she couldn’t hear. Rei and Ami nod beside you, causing Usagi to pout. “Come on, she’s just the Dream Princess!”  You shake your head at her and sigh. “Maybe we should split up,” Ami suggests before looking over to you with a kind smile. “You can go enjoy the park, we should be going.” She tells you as Rei and Usagi nods, a sort of sad smile on the blonde’s face. “I can help. You guys are looking for something, right? We’ll split off into pairs.” You suggest as all the girls look at each other as if exchanging their thoughts. Before they could reply, you looped your arm with Ami’s with a smile on your face. “We’ll find you guys later!” You called out to them as you tug the girl away. 

Walking around the park, you glance around before looking at Ami. “So.. what are we looking for?” You ask her before she shrugs. “I’m not sure how to explain it.. But I’ll know when I see it.” She tells you as you nod in response. You spot a sort of flower garden display, nudging her arm and looking over to the garden. “How do you know Usagi-Chan?” Ami asks you as you two walk towards the garden. “Her cat woke me up at a bus stop.” You laughed lightly as you two entered the garden. Ami walks a little behind you, watching as you make your way through the beautiful flowers. 

–

“Princess Thea!” calls a voice, causing the woman to look up from her book in her lap. “Princess Thea, the queen wishes to have a meal with you and your sister!” The voice calls again, closer this time. With a sigh, she closes her book.

“Mercury, there’s no need to yell like that in the garden.” The princess speaks as the sailor scout bows in a light apology. “I’m sorry, your highness, I always seem to get lost in this garden.” Mercury speaks, drawing a light laugh from the princess. “That’s why I enjoy it here,” The princess sets her hand on top of Mercury’s head affectionately.

“I’m harder to find.” 

–

Ami breaks out of her daze, realizing she had stopped walking. Looking around herself, you were gone. The girl glances around the close vicinity before walking, hoping she would find you somewhere in the garden as the daydream plays in a loop in her mind. That is, until she sees you sitting on your legs, calmly looking through the flowers as if you two weren’t just on the search for whatever the girls were looking for in the first place. “Princess, I found you!” Ami says before her hand slaps across her mouth, in shock of her own words. You look up to her, your face scrunched up as you stand from your spot. “Princess? Do I look like the Dream Princess?” You jokingly asked her, motioning to your clothes. “I’m sorry Ryuu-San! I don’t know where that came from, really!” Ami says, sputtering out apologies. You laughed lightly, ruffling her short hair in response to her embarrassment. “It’s alright, Mizuno-Chan. This park with princesses and talking animals is a little weird for the head.” You tell her. She sort of shakes her head, dismissing a thought to herself and nods at you before motioning to the exit of the maze-like garden. “I think the Princess is having her party soon.” Ami says, motioning to the big building a bit away. You nodded in response, “Yeah, we should head over there. Maybe we’ll find Rei-Chan and Tsukino-Chan.” You say to her. 

When you guys make it into the cold factory, the smell of sugar fills your senses. There are multiple tables full of cookies and candies, desserts you’ve never even heard of line the tables as well. “I can’t believe Usagi-Chan is missing this!” Ami says, filling a small plate with sweets for herself. You nod as you pick up a cookie, feeling a chill run up your spine. “Is it cold in here or is that just me?” You ask Ami as she shrugs. You ignore the feeling and take a bite of the cookie, glancing around the room. Within minutes, the room feels dull and quiet, a wave of grogginess washing over you. Kids in the room begin complaining that they are tired, then soon enough the adults as well. Ami rubs her eyes, trying her hardest to stay away as she drops her plate on the ground carelessly. “It’s the sweets,” She says to you as you reach out to grab her arm, feeling yourself grow even more tired than before. “They’re taking up all our energy, Rei was right about the Princess.” She says before falling onto her knees. You fall with her, your bag falling off your shoulder and spilling. The beautiful silver brooch from before slips out, falling in between you and your newfound friend. She looks at it with wide eyes, taking it in her weak hand as she looks at you desperately. “Hold it..” She tells you tiredly. You reach your arm out to take it before everything goes dark. 

– 

“See what happens when you girls work together?” You hear a voice say as you wake up. You sit up and rub your eyes as you hear a group of girls speak before actually looking at them. Your eyes widen at the site of the Sailor Scouts and a small black cat speaking together in the room, causing you to let out a surprised yell and scooch back. What are the Sailor Scouts doing here? What happened? The Scouts look over to you worriedly before Sailor Moon runs over to you worriedly, kneeling in front of you. “Ryuu-Sama, are you alright?!” She asks you as you take another scoot back. A sudden flash of cold and light floods your senses as your hand grazes against a smooth metal.

“Sailor Gaia?” 

[wtfcookiejar]

I Promise Always (Part 6)

Eddie was walking into the forest quietly. He had ditched Jason hours ago and it was time for him at least to follow through with what he felt was a mandatory drug deal at this time. He didn't know what Chrissy Cunningham really needed drugs for. But arrangements like these meant he could buy Uncle Wayne sandwich meat for another weak and maybe he could have a tape if he was lucky enough. Sometimes Old Eunice in the record store would let him take home something nice if he brought her better d&d stories and whatever old leather gear he could find at the thrift store.

Eddie couldn't help but finger the note in his pocket as he sat down on the Bench. He had Scratched out Chrissy's name, written YN L/N down, and drawn a little heart with spider webs. He'd also scratched out drugs and written hugs. Because he desperately wanted to hug Y/N. But Eddie knew she hated him... God, it made him want to cry but he didn't he just sat there looking at all the little folds and creases wondering how she had done it so fast.

"Excuse Me," Chrissy called hands behind her back still waiting at the tree just beyond the picnic table.

Eddie Couldn't help it he jumped ten feet in the air. " JESUS." he turned and sighed heavily. " You gave me a start their little lady."

"Why do you call me that?" Chrissy asked taking a seat as Eddie got reacquainted with the table setting his lunchbox in front of him and opening it.

" Because you are a lady. " Eddie reasoned rubbing his hands on his jeans and slipping his crumbled crane into his pocket. He looked at Chrissy had pretty red hair and grey eyes and a figure that left little for the imagination in her cheer uniform. Once upon a time, Eddie would have done anything to sit across from Chrissy. Now though he just wanted to do a deal and play some D&D.

" Well that's true but most people call me a girl still." Chrissy smashed a pearly smile that could have made almost anyone do anything.

Eddie smiled to put his stomach at ease and then his voice got smooth and sales-like," Now what does a Lady like you, possibly need my services for?"

"I have a headache.....The headache pills my mom gave me make me feel sick..." Chrissy seemed shy all of a sudden.

"Fork them over." Eddie made grabby hands as he put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it with zero effort.

Chrissy handed over a little white bottle and Eddie read the outside," Your moms giving you like estrogen on crack... This isn't for headaches. No wonder your stomach hurts. You could get hella pregnant with this shit."

"LIKE how?" Chrissy tilted her head puzzled

" Don't you and Jason like fuck in every damned closet at school?" Eddie took a long drag of his cigarette before realizing her face was a deep shade of red," Wait for a second... You two haven't done it yet!"

"CAN YOU NOT BE SO GODDAMNED LOUD!" Chrissy whisper shouted and Eddie did his best to hold back a chuckle as he threw two blunts and a couple buds in a small sandwich bag for Chrissy. He finished his cigarette smiling.

"Alright, Stop taking this shit. One Puff at a time. Deep Inhales. Do Not have sex till this shits out of your system I say about 3 weeks... When you do use condoms and please get actual birth control- from a doctor, please. I was never here. I know nothing about this and that will be twenty bucks and one secret to keep. It's a hell of a deal. " Eddie singsong waving the baggie.

"Secret included?" Chrissy asked a twenty in her hand.

"Secret included and this will clear up any kind of pain. Like I said take it slow. One puff. When you need more you know how to find me. " Eddie held out his empty hand and the baggie

Chrissy folded the twenty into a triangle her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth before she handed it over," It's going to be a pleasure doing business with you. Your everything she said you were with just a little bit of edge. I like it. " With a skip of her green and white skirt, she was gone.

Eddie almost wanted to ask who but then he thought of the folded crane in his pocket and he sat there confused.

***

"Now I cannot promise that Steve won't flirt. But I can promise you, He will be on his best behavior, usually, we watch movies and then pick up Henderson from D&D and then we sit and listen to him talk about his campaign and his quote "perfect" girlfriend." Buckley was on a roll but she had already called steve to change the plans and told Dustin they would still pick him up after D&D.

"Hanii. You need to explain what you mean by "Henderson." is he a teacher? Why do you refer to him in his honorifics? I mean is he like someone cool is he like? WHAT IS A HENDERSON?" You wailed and robin smiled at her new nickname.

Just then Steve's car rolled in and he stood tall arms a flurry of pushing up his sleeves and then opening them wide and smiling this dopey smile as he leaned against his car," Ladies as you can see the chariot awaits and there is a MALL calling our name."

You took a step closer to Hanii and whispered slightly," He reminds me slightly of a game show ho-"

" RULE NUMBER 1 in this battleship we do not whisper."

Robin smiled as you quickly set down your bags and set yourself up in a standard military procedure. Robin followed suit but the things that flowed out of your mouth would have made any man of the military proud," Senior Student ON LOAN From Leuitant Staff OF Medical And Marrine Commander L/N. Mission: Go to MALL with Oni-chan. Report home By No later than 11. Your Battleship: 1983 BMW 733i - Automated drive -antitheft warning system -3.2 liter straight six cylinder output but your tires look like absolute horseshit SIR, meaning you need air or this battleship will sink." You gave a firm salute and kicked a tire that gave a small bump as if to say you were correct.

Robin saluted like a navy man and Steve looked like he was going to burst into flames of embarrassment.

"Robin I swear to god if you paid her to say any of these weird things you get to pay for the joint movie fees for two weeks." Steve pointed at Robin and you smiled.

"Oni-chan, your car tires need air. I don't think a marine Sargent would enjoy hearing about his daughter stuck on the side of the road, By the way, you live up to "The Hair" nickname but I have yet to understand the meaning behind it. It is a nice car. You clambered into the backseat as Robin sat in the front.

"Isn't She just PERFECT!" Robin squealed in joy drumming her fingers into the dash.

Steve was handsome but you weren't going to admit that flat out from his backseat. You sat prim and proper like your best friend had taught you. Your back straight eyes forward on the road. Steve did indeed stop for air. It was kinda funny watching him figure out how to fill the tires. Your dad had timed you and you could do it to any car in three minutes flat.

"What are you thinking wise OWl of mine eyes." Robin turned back to look at you.

"I won't lie he's cute."

"But.. He's Not Eddie?" Robin reasoned and you chuckled.

"Very true Hanii"

"What does that word mean even, you've been calling me that for hours," Robin whined rolling her eyes and leaning her seat back so it nestled into your lap comfortably.

"I get a secret or two." You challenged plucking stray hairs from her eyes.

"Since when do you let other girls touch you without becoming a quivering mess?" Steve said as he sat back down in the car and looked at the two of you cozy and smiling.

"She is no ordinary girl dear Dingus. She has charmed even the most terrifying of hearts. Take Chrissy Cunningham for instance. She eats out of this sweet girl's palm." Robin was practically purring as you rubbed her temples soothingly.

You booped Robin's nose chuckling," Don't say it like that Hanii."

"Alright, you two. Enough of this touchie touchie! We are off to our destination, and you Pretty thing. What is this Oni-Chan business? And Why does Chrissy Cunningham eat out of your palm?"

"Every girl allowed a secret or two. Chrissy is simple. I'm a shiny new thing. I have a use for her I can get her what she needs and in turn she... I don't have a clue what she does for me yet. I'll find a purpose I'm sure. " You mustered as you helped Robin righten her seat and you reached over and stole steves sunglasses and rolled down the window letting the warm sun touch your skin.

***

Steve didn't wanna admit it but the girl in his backseat was growing on him. She had kicked off her flats and her tiny manicured toes were so close to his elbow that he almost wanted to reach back and touch them. But he stood his ground in the front seat remembering that she had said Sargent, and he knew that meant her father. She was bold she took sunglasses and looked out the window and talked with Robin as if she owned the world.

Robin for once was a smiling peaceful creature. She was herself around another girl who didn't seem to mind if she babbled or got lost in a horror story about what happened at summer camp, which for the beautiful girl in the back seemed like a world that needed to be explored.

"Oni-Chan, can you tell me why it is so customary for Boys and Men here to touch girls and women?" her lips were this perfect pink shade and every word sounded perfectly English but completely foreign. Who used the word customary?

Robin was stifling a giggle. "Uh... Well, that's kinda normal here you know Public displays of affection. Guys don't want other guys kissing their girls... Ya know."

"So once you kiss you are to be married?" at this Steve himself lost it and so did Robin both of them laughed a loud rough careless fun laugh.

Her face was pink, and she almost seemed ashamed. They were in the parking lot of the mall. Robin realized their mistake and reached back to look at the girl who now ducked her head in shame. Robin smacked Steve and his stomach automatically filled with guilt.

"STEVE. Meeting outside the car now." Robin hissed and they piled out.

Steve was having a hard time not reaching back into the car and telling her he was sorry already. But the words that crawled out of Robin's lips were what made him stay," Look, She's spent most of her life in Japan. Things in America are different. She doesn't even know the difference between asshole and stupid she thought they meant the same thing till this afternoon."

"We're talking about words here right?" Steve clarified as he looked in the backseat to see her checking her makeup. Something he was used to dates doing.

"Yeah. So we gotta try to understand. Things like public affection, and candy even is new to her. We can teach her right?" Robin's wearing the puppy dog eyes that Steve falls for every time.

"Robin- I thought we talked about you know wayward-"

"She's not wayward dingus. She literally figured out I was into Viki with one glance. She's like a genius but she's not a wayward puppy. She just needs Friends. So common...Please."

"So that's why you don't freak out when she's all close to you!" Steve snapped his fingers and smiled and Robin just took it as this was her winning and to be honest. She'd won the minute she'd called to say she had a new friend and they needed to cancel movie night and could they go to the mall with her instead.

He didn't expect the pretty girl who had followed. She was still waiting in the backseat of the car and they both looked at each other for a strong minute. "SHIT. THE MALL." They both shouted. Both of them excitedly scrambled to the back of the car Steve on one side and robin on the other they piled in the backseat pushing Y/N in the middle they both started blathering.

"Alright, so here's like the major points-" Steve was talking fast pointing as if he were making a map.

"We can't skip the minor points Stevo." -Rubin rushed in to make sure the hand talking doesn't get too complicated and held his hands over Y/N form.

"MAJOR FIRST, What do we want to shop for? What are we hungry for? Do we have pooled money or our own?"

"I have $75.83" Y/n seemed puzzled as she showed them her money.

"Robin status report?" Steve asked looking excited because prospects are looking high for whatever is in the mall.

"$20.00 and a large button." Robin said as she searched her pockets and added the cash to a pile on Y/n's lap.

Steve reached for his wallet. He knew there would be at least a couple of fifties and a hundred in there from whatever his dad left him for the long weekend. What his mom had given as she headed for another conference. He didn't care he threw two fifties out onto y/n lap and smiled.

" What are we shopping for ladies? What are we hungry for ladies? "

Y/n smiled shyly," I only want three things. Music, The Hobbit, and What are these things you guys wear called?" She patted Robin's jeans affectionately.

"You want Jeans?" Robin asked and Steve couldn't help but smile.

"Now Rob, before you go preaching you always tell me. Women should be able to wear whatever they want. When they want to. " Steve chided and Y/n smiled

"Is that True Hanii." and robin rolled her eyes.

"FINE! But we have to stop at Eunice's and She Needs a dictionary pronto." Robin smiled reaching forward and grabbing her purse. Y/N stuffed all her money into a little coin purse which she handed to Robin who handled the red and black fabric with care. Then as if it was effortless she handed Steve his money and smiled this big gorgeous smile that almost begged for him to kiss her. But he swallowed it and instead reached for her hand and helped her step out of the car.

"Can we go slow? I get dizzy if I go too fast." She asked in a hushed whisper soft enough Robin couldn't hear her. That soft whisper was enough for Steve's hard candy outside to melt and he was putty in her hands.

"Of course Darling. This is all at your pace." Steve said as she linked elbows with him and Robin linked elbows with her and the three of them entered the mall together.

"You start spoiling her Steve and I will shave all that hair of yours. " Robin threatened and Y/n giggled like it was something they had promised each other hundreds of times. Steve defiantly could live with this threat if he got to hear that laugh a hundred thousand more times.

***

It was 4:45 and Wayne was on his way into the hospital. He wasn't sick. He was nowhere near sick. Instead, he wanted to talk to the new Doctor. The one who had taken his wife and Daughter to Japan and broken poor Eddie's last dream to a crumble. He remembered the words the boy had spoken a month later on his birthday when Wayne sat the only one there with Eddie who looked at the one present that Wayne could afford.

"I was gonna Murry her Uncle...." He had sniffled looking at the cake Wayne had burned the candles melting. Coconut frosting. Then just like that Eddie stopped crying and looked at the swings one last time sighing and blowing out the candles.

"What did you wish for Buddy?" Wayne asked as he cut a slice and put it in front of Little Eddie.

"That she would be happy..." His little lip stuck out a little as his face turned sour at coconut frosting," Can I help with the cake next time uncle Wayne?"

Then it was just like that Little Eddie opened his present. A D&D book bigger than his head with a set of dice and his own personal leather journal. The two spent hours reading the manual in bed that night and to this day Wayne never forgot those tiny fists scarfing down the rest of the cake for the week while he looked at the playground swings and read the D&D manual like a bible.

Inside the hospital, he waited in a chair but he didn't have to wait long. The Doctor saw Wayne and smiled with fondness," I'd know the Munson Tamer if I ever saw him. " They shook hands and then the doctor ushered him into his office quietly. "Taylor keep an eye on EKG 12 for me." Inside his office were x-rays and diahramao's that made Wayne's stomach turn but he kept his eyes on the good doctor.

"Long way for a Medic to come. " Wayne Marveled at the walls and the Doctor smiled.

"Burbon?" He asked reaching down to the cabinet to pour himself a glass.

" No, No, I gotta drive home. Besides. I wanna talk about your daughter quickly if I can. I know you left because you were a commander for the Marines, they took you over to Japan... Being a top medic. I understand you had a job to do for our country... But the day you left with that little girl...Eddie's heart broke... like shattered into tiny pieces at his feet. His Birthday was shortly after you left and he told me he wanted to Marry your little girl... When it was clear she wasn't gonna come back... the last little light went out in him. I'm not mad at your daughter. But That's my boy... Do you understand Doc? I don't wanna see him hurt none more." Wayne could feel his heart racing hard in his chest but the good doctor was smiling.

"I wouldn't trust my daughter with anyone else Mr. Munson. Did you know that Eddie drove her home one night after she had been walking in the dark? She was drunk... He tried to cover it up by drinking the last of the bourbon in her bottle and giving me one of yours... I knew that night he was the right man for my daughter. He would do anything to save her... I won't lay a hand on your boy. Fear not."

Wayne sighed and settled in his chair finally feeling like he could finally breathe," So we agree."

"These kids need each other. " The doctor chuckled and then the two men settled into a familiar silence one filled with different memories. and different people and different places.

***

The mall was like a huge Candystore. There were different shops that lit up in different colors. So far her favorite had been the book store. She had passed so many titles and Steve and Robin had both watched in wonder.

"She's so efficient. " He had remarked. She had pulled all she needed from the shelves within minutes and handed them to Steve.

"She's so eclectic I love it. " Robin had whispered to him as she checked out holding her red coin purse so delicately as she counted out the change for the cashier.

The three of them had naturally fallen into a rhythm together. Y/N had a designated list. Robin only wanted Food and Eunice's little corner store and so Steve was the Navigator and an Onlooker as Y/N pointed out dainty shops. She stopped and stared at one particular that he looked at till the girls had disappeared around the corner.

"Why on earth would a girl like her be worried about a thing like that?" Steve had wondered as he jogged after the girls. Who were giggling about some random lunchroom joke? Robin raised an eyebrow in question and he shook his head still confused.

"Food or Eunice's," Steve asked jumping ahead of the girls and walking backward in a smooth fashion. Looking at both their faces he waited.

"Eunice's" The singsonged, and Steve grabbed Robin around the neck walking again in time with them. Eunice's shop was in the darker corner of the world. But still, it remained a favorite of the Buckley and Harrington household. Buckley could always find something androgynous and Harrington could always find something chic.

Eunice knew both Robin and Steve so when the two came in with their new friend she was beyond delighted. "Where did you find this beautiful little Hen from Harrington?" Eunice was a tall woman, full-chested curls placed in the full fifties curls. She was a pinup girl through and through but you could see some of the edges of age coming through. Her hands had gotten smaller and there were wrinkles.

" I found her actually" Robin stood on her tiptoes pointing toward herself. Proud of actually having found a gem worth noticing.

"I believe we found each other?" Y/N whispered bowing slightly to the older woman.

"Exquisite. May I take measurements, Miss?" Eunice had a tape measure in hand and Steve felt the slightest need to step between the two of them. Protect Y/N, but her polite hand held him back and she proudly stepped forward.

"I have a feeling... " Robin and Steve could hear Miss Eunice now but she was speaking foreignly and quickly.

"Does it weird you out that somehow she knows just how to speak to anyone who walks in here?" Steve followed Robin to the records bin.

"God NO. Eunice is as old as Time. I'd be half afraid if she didn't know how to-"

"You two are complete idiots. She is an ABSOLUTE Treasure. You couldn't have brought her sooner? " Eunice was throwing skirts and corsets and sweaters on her arms. "Harrington. There's a brand new walkman and headphones third shelf on the left-hand side. Eddie will have to wait for a new pair. I will pick the music myself. Harrington, she will need assistance with payment, I am sending her home with her own collection of cassettes and three new outfits. If I hear one peep of complaint. I will call your Father and have your next order of Playboys shipped back to his office myself!" Eunice had never sounded so cheerful or dreadful in that particular moment to Steve that he'd have done anything to stop her from opening her mouth further.

"SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT JEANS EUNICE!" Robin called and there was a score of giggles as Robin watched Steve take things from a high shelf on the left-hand side that almost no one else could reach.

"I would pay to hear this conversation." Steve set the headphones and brand new cassette player on the counter and looked at the collection of records Robin had picked," Beautiful picks though I will say I am not a fan of this guy right here..." Steve pointed to a Zeppline album that looked a little to far fetched for both their taste.

"DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT ZEPPLIN ALBUM." Was the shout as they saw Eunice again shuffle past them this time holding onto jeans. It was only fifteen minutes later and their friend was back at the counter Eunice was throwing tapes together. It was a large pile. But for some reason Steve didn’t feel like fighting Eunice.

Instead y/n placed what was left her money on the counter and Eunice took it and another twenty from Steve.

“Both of you take good care of her. She’s a delicate flower.” Eunice called out as Robin finished up her purchase.

“Now we must eat!!!” Steve singsonged and Robbin smiled. Y/n didn’t carry a single thing in her hands because Steve carried it all. They exited the mall in a rush robin tugging at Y/n and saying she was scared of the dark while Y/n giggled and said Steve would get anything that hurt them. The truth was in that moment Steve loved both those girls. He loved how Y/n made Robin more Robin and how Y/n just seemed to blend all the pictures of the evening together. She was magic Eunice didn’t lie.

They drove the extra fifteen miles to go to McDonalds. Where Steve ordered nuggets, cheese burgers, and enough fries to satisfy their party of three and two more. One for Eddie and one for Henderson.

“French fries?” Y/n had exclaimed quietly as Steve handed her a big thing of fries and a Coke.

“Eat while hot best effect.” Robin grumbled before opening a burger and shoving it promptly into her face.

A few minutes of staring and blowing and Y/n was happily nibbling fries moaning in bliss,”I Still don’t understand what a Henderson is. The dictionary says nothing. Are they born? Are they created? Do they die?”

“What is she on about Robin, her mouths full.” Steve asked looking confused.

“HENDERSON.Is he ruler or fable?” Y/n put herself between the two of them a single fry sticking out the corner out of her mouth.

Robin snorted choking a bit on her burger,” He’s a freshman!”

“Jesus Christ. What did you tell her about Henderson that makes her believe he is a fable.” Steve was interested to say the least

“You swear on his mother often as if she is god. He has a magical girlfriend and he knows things even you can’t understand.” Y/n muttered stealing a nugget from robins lap.

“HES A VIRGIN WITH AN IQ OF OVER 160.” Steve shouted

“I’m a virgin.” Y/n reasoned as they pulled back into Hawkins,”Does this mean I am a fable too?”

Robin was laughing so hard she almost choked on a nugget she had been chewing.

“Can we not kill Robin? Steve plead hopelessly trying to pat her back as he drove,” you are mysterious that’s different.

"Lean forward hanii." Y/N sighed gently and Robin did exactly as she was told, Y/n fingers were swift as she tapped along Robins back in a strange cupping motion Steve couldn't focus on. The coughing stopped and Robin took a big drink smiling.

"Eunice might just be right about magic. " Robin clarified," but I don't know if mysterious covers all the wonder our new friend produces."

School always looked different at night. Steve and Robin were used to it but Y/N looked at it as though something was going to come out and scare her. She had the two sets of leftover fries in her lap keeping them warm between her thighs.

They waited chatting casually until Dustin came barrelling through the doors and toward the car. Eddie stood watching as others piled out of the double doors arms crossed smiling. Y/N swallowed when the backseat door opened and Dustin slid in his mouth moving a mile a minute.

"You guys will never believe what happened today. Eddie launched the most venomous campaign I have ever taken part in. I literally almost lost my character in the first 10 minutes -OH MY GOD STEVE THERES A GIRL IN THE BACKSEATTTTTT!!!!!" Dustin lept against his door like his very body was going to be put on fire.

"This is a Henderson?" Y/n asked a small wave of disappointment in her voice, "He's so...." Y/n Reached out and pulled at Dustin Cheek. "DOUGHY..."

Steve was laughing but Dustin wasn't amused.

" Get off me..." He huffed and then he snatched the fries and looked at her from the corner of his eyes," Hogging fries, doesn't even introduce herself... Anyone wanna tell me what the hell is going on here?"

"Dustin meet Y/N. She has come a long way to live in Hawkins. Eunice calls her a delicate flower. I think she's brilliant and Steve wants to kiss her silly." Robin turned around pointing to each of them as she diagnosed the issues in the car.

"ROBIN!" Steve said but both of them grew silent. Because Y/N had opened the back door. After Dustin had said," Eddie's fries."

She was quiet as she moved across the parking lot. Steve and Robin shared a look.

"Are we sure this is a good idea? I mean isn't she the one who thinks that Eddie's an ass?" Dustin was worried and for a minute steve was too but when the two shadows met. There was only silence. A bow and then Y/n was sitting behind steve once again.

"Well?" Dustin asked

" You are the worst fable I have ever encountered. " Y/n muttered and picked a Fry from Dustin's and chewed smiling.

The entire trip to Hendersons was spent with him explaining how he was indeed not a Fable but one whole human. Y/n and Robin giggled and Steve watched because for once he truly was mystified.

@linkpk88

[tos-and-her-musings]

thoracic outlet syndrome and my disordered eating

The very first word I learned in my family's native, immigrant tongue was "fat." ‘Fei’. My mother would point to a lady walking down the grocery store aisle as she muttered the word under her breath, ‘fei’, eyeing the layers of fat hidden beneath the cloak of her dress. This was later followed with, "If you ever look like her one day, I will lock you in a cupboard and starve you for a week."

I know that my mom was bullied for her weight, and she was trying to save me from the same torturous fate.

I learned that the greatest act of kindness I could receive was to be starved into being thin. That was how she loved me.

At age 12, I began my first year of high school. I stood in the changing rooms, my nervous, skinny knees shaking as I tried on my school uniform. My extra-small polo shirt drowned me, and my sports shorts were dangerously close to slipping off. The canteen worker huffed out a sigh as she examined me. “I’m afraid we won’t have anything that fits her; she’s just so petite.”

My mother smiled, looking almost proud. “No, i'll just have to take it in.”

I learned that the greatest compliment I could receive was to be so small that anything I wear can engulf me, to be so small that I’m invisible.

At age 14, my body changed. I developed breasts. I grew up a dress size. My mother would jokingly call me “solid.” Compliments about my petite frame began to fade. When I laid on my back and my tummy went flat, I could no longer see my bones. I didn’t know why that made me so anxious. I lost the special “thigh gap” I was told others were so envious of, that I got to have. I watched my mother bounce from fad milkshakes to diets, to gym classes and workout videos. I watched her break down and cry.

I kept growing. One night, my father took away my dinner as I was halfway eating. He said with a chuckle, “That’s enough for you.”

I learned that there was nothing more shameful than gaining weight.

At age 15, I failed mathematics. It was tragic really, considering that I came from a family of doctors and university graduates; intelligence was in our DNA. What was my excuse? However, my brain was filled to the brim with song lyrics and the injustices of human trafficking and caged chickens, and too busy analysing Sylvia Plath’s poetry. So as hard as I studied, when asked to ‘find x’ in this equation, I could do no more than simply point to the letter and say “there!”

That was not good enough for my family. They removed me from my public education, convinced that if I was given more structure, resources, and discipline, away from my friends and the teachers who supported me, I would get better. When that proved fleeting, they suggested I move out entirely and live with my sister, to finish school away from them. They couldn’t handle my teenage emotions anymore.

It did not cross their minds to tell me that it was not personal, that it didn’t mean they loved me any less as they sought to abandon me.

I learned that the complex, colourful array of angsty emotions following loss, is just too difficult and messy for others. Nice, neat, black-and-white numbers are much more desirable.

At age 17, I lost my friends.

As formal grew closer, I set my eyes on the one thing that could make things feel right: looking good in my formal dress. I began to count calories. It was kind of like a game. I couldn’t solve equations, but adding and subtracting I could do. 300-calorie chicken salad + 100-calorie muesli bar. Subtract 300 calories from my run this morning to make you feel good.

I tried to make the game more challenging. 1000 calories turned to 900, 800, then 700. By the time I got to 500, I was going to bed with a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon in my belly and waking up seeing stars.

By the time formal came, I weighed 35 kgs.

I learned that when life gets out of control, I can always, ALWAYS control my weight. I can always rely on calorie counting. And nothing feels as satisfying as being hungry.

It is no wonder that I spent the next five years of my life yo-yoing between diets. Riding that eating disorder rollercoaster, the highs with Mia and the plummeting lows with Anna. I learned that a combination of saltwater and ice cream can make you throw anything up. That downloading pictures of cakes and staring at them can be just as good as eating the real thing. I worked hard to excel in every aspect of my studies and my job. To make my parents proud. And when life got hard, I simply stopped eating.

It took years to break out of that habit. To learn that the greatest value I have in my body is the strength she has to run and take me to places. To value my health more than a number on a scale. I learned that my body was more than a vehicle for weight loss and self-destruction.

With my arms and hands, I learned how to play the violin and reach the most magical state of flow, where I not only stopped time but controlled time with every note I played. I could achieve the greatest highs by running and jumping and twirling in the air. With my body, I learned how to express love and joy. I learned how to make others laugh and cry from a stage in a packed theatre. I learned that my body was meant for more than to simply be skinny. It was meant for love.

I learned to nourish and fuel this body to sustain the health and strength she needed. I learned to eat intuitively. I stopped playing the numbers game and got rid of my scales. I exercised for fun and not for punishment. Most importantly, I found a career that could help me help others value the health and strength that their body has and to nurture it too.

Since being diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome and this disability, I have lost everything. My arms no longer have the strength to play music or create magic or communicate love or propel me to fly or make others laugh. If my body was a temple, it has been ravaged and desecrated in the most heinous way.

No punishment could ever fit the crime of what was done to me. And the worst part is, I did this to myself.

I used to channel all the focus, drive, ambition, and discipline I had with every calorie I counted, towards my goals and dreams, my ambitions, my talents, and my hobbies. The things that made me amazing. The things that made me belong. The things that made me real. There is nothing more painful than being forced to watch your temple crumble around you, bringing down with it everything you loved and worked so hard to build. It should come as no surprise that without these things to work towards, I started counting again.

I’ve lost weight again. I rediscovered old numbers again. Never mind the fact that I’m 2 kg away from being clinically underweight, my doctor seemed pleased when she saw my numbers. There is something about the ED diagnosis that stands out from every other clinical disorder we have in the DSM. It’s ego-syntonic for a reason. It’s really one of the only mental health disorders you can be praised (implicitly so) for having. My life is falling apart. But no matter, because according to everyone else, “I still look so good.”

I am diagnosed with a diagnosis that has no cure and a very poor prognosis and a treatment that might kill me, physically, psychologically, and spiritually, only to get a recurrence of this diagnosis again and again and again. Losing all control cannot begin to describe this feeling.

Somehow, I have convinced myself that everything will be okay, as long as I. Don’t. Gain. Weight. After all, I may be in a great deal of pain and unable to do anything that meant anything to me, but at least I have a hot body. That is what I am told. “You certainly don’t look like you’re unwell. You don’t look like you haven’t been able to work out. You look great.”

I want to scream.

I know I need to eat again to gain the strength to face the challenges ahead. But I can’t stop thinking… it’s bad enough that you have a disability, do you need to be fat too?

Nothing forces you to challenge every core belief you have and learn how to love yourself unconditionally more than gaining a disability can.

[mbb-project-entity]

Chapter 12

Dr. Gemwood took a look at the teenager. She was the typical rich white girl, with blue eyes and blonde hair. Rinni was a few inches shorter than the doctor, and had nice, pale skin. She probably did a good job staying out of the sun and using sunblock, thought the doctor. It was true that her B-cup breasts weren’t particularly large, but she was only barely 18, and they fit her small frame. They were well formed and perky, and didn’t really need any work done, but as the doctor looked at her face she just thought she looked particularly young.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Rinni? You’re still very young, and your breasts are very nice and fit your build well.”

Rinni looked annoyed, “Are you jealous of my breasts or something? I already said I wanted it done. I want to look even better now, not when I’m some old cougar like you. My boyfriend thinks it’ll look good.”

Of course he would, the doctor thought. She was getting frustrated with her attitude, “Now, now, Rinni. I already said I’d take care of it; there’s no need to have an attitude.”

“Attitude? I’m not even mad. You don’t want to see me with an attitude, okay? Tch, just get on with it; I can’t stand being around old ladies for too long. It’s so sad. You’re already old, so why are you trying to look hot? That’s for girls like me.” The girl had a smug smile on her face.

The doctor was appalled. What sort of family was she raised by? What kind of person insults the doctor about to operate on them? This girl obviously had no idea who she was dealing with. “Okay, you’d better stop now. Remember I’m the one about to operate you alright? It may not be the best idea to keep insulting me.”

The girl didn’t take the hint. “Is that some kind of threat? If you mess this up my mom will sue you to hell! You’ll be so in debt you won’t live to see it paid off; which isn’t long now judging from how old you look. Just make me hot so we can pay you, got it?”

Old? Dr. Gemwood didn’t consider 45 to be that old, but the girl was only 18. Nevertheless, she had been insulted enough. This girl needs more than a lesson, she thought. If she merely berated her, nothing would change. She had other ideas, however.

“Right, I apologize. Well then, I’ll schedule you for an appointment next week, but I need to do a little prep work first. I have to give you a shot; it’s just some medicine that will make the operation go more smoothly.”

The girl was thrown off guard by Dr. Gemwood’s sudden compliance, “Oh. Um, yeah. I guess so.”

Dr. Gemwood rummaged through her drawers until she found what she was looking for. Being so deep into her business, she found herself engaging in her fair share of black market business. She didn’t buy into most of it, there were lots of scammers out there, but one item in particular she found to be useful. It was a serum she had managed to acquire that left her clients highly suggestible. It took about a week to work, but it left the target ‘imprinted’ with the person they see when they were injected with it. Afterwards they were indefinitely suggestible by the they were imprinted to, and took everything said by that person as fact or a good idea. Marie almost never used it, but she felt it was warranted today. Besides, she wasn’t Ms. Goody Two-Shoes exactly either.

“Don’t move, this will only take a moment.” She took the syringe and plunged it into Rinni’s breast, taking no care to be gentle and getting a bit of satisfaction from her wince.

“There we are. All done!”

Rinni complained, “That hurt!”

The doctor rushed her out, ignoring her complaint, “Just head up front and have your mother make an appointment to see me next week, alright? Thank you for coming!”

“What? Oh, okay.” The confused girl walked out, leaving to a forced smile from Dr. Gemwood. “I’ll see you next week then, I guess.”

Dr. Gemwood’s smile left her as the door closed. She was going to show Rinni what happens when you get on her bad side. She took particular exception to the cougar comment. Dr. Gemwood wasn’t known for her bad side, but that’s because most people who have seen it wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about it anymore.* * *

Rinni was spending some intimate time with her boyfriend. Her mom was out of town, and the two were making out. Before long, she reached a hand down his pants, feeling for his cock. He didn’t have a particularly large one, but large ones scared her so she was fine with that. Besides, she only gave him handjobs because she refused to give him any head. It was a little bit too much for her to handle right now.

As she fondled his balls, her mind floated to thoughts of her breasts. Should she really get them larger? She traced a finger across the length of his dick, causing him to moan loudly.

“Are my boobs too small?”

Barely conscious of her question, her boyfriend uttered out an answer, “Yeah, sure. I mean no. What? They’re fine.”

Suddenly she stopped her hand, “Sure?? What do you mean fine? I knew my boobs were too small. You know I’m getting them done. What do you think of that?”

The boyfriend knew he was in a trap, and did the best he could to get out alive. “I’m, uh, you should do whatever makes you feel happy about yourself...”

“Hmph.” She withdrew her hand, folding her arms. Her boyfriend knew he’d be in for a rough night as he zipped his hands back up and began trying to get her forgiveness.* * *

The following week Rinni’s mother had dropped her off for her appointment. She had her shirt off, as Dr. Gemwood made her final examinations before starting the procedure.

“So, are you ready for your breast augmentation today?” Dr. Gemwood gently lifted Rinni’s breast. “Let’s see, you’re a 34B now, and you want to go up to a 36C, correct?” She smiled with a certain look that would have caused most people to think twice about what they were doing, but not Rinni.

“Uh-huh. That sounds right. Can we start now?” She looked around impatiently, already distracted after just sitting down.

Dr. Gemwood knew the serum was in her system already, and all she had to do was tell her what she wanted and Rinni would follow. That was too easy though; not nearly satisfying enough. She was going to make this last for a little while. That serum is hard to come by, and it’s not often she gets to have fun like this. She suppressed a grin and questioned, “We could, but do you think that’s the size you want?”

Rinni looked at her, slightly confused, “Yeah...it’s what I signed up for, right?”

“I know. I’m just mentioning it because for someone like you, a boost up to that size wouldn’t really help you look mature enough. There are plenty of teens with that cup size; do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, but-”

“You’re trying to look sexy, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Guys think large breasts are sexy, and little girls don’t have large breasts, isn’t that correct?”

The wheels turned in Rinni’s head. “Yeah, I think so...”

“So you don’t want to look like a little girl do you?”

Rinni shook her head, “But bigger sounds too big...I’m not sure I want it.”

“It’s up to you, but if you want to look like an adult that men will find sexy, what you’re looking for won’t do the trick.”

Rinni frowned, “Well, my boyfriend will probably like it...Can I change it now though? I already signed the forms.”

Marie smiled at her, “It’s no problem. You just need to sign another form with the new cup size you’d like. Do you want to go bigger?”

“I-I guess so. I mean, I don’t want to, but I don’t want to look like a kid. I want to look sexy—like an adult.”

Rinni was blushing now, and Dr. Gemwood relished the moment, “You’re asking me to give you a larger size then? What size would you like then? I think men find larger sexier, but it’s up to whatever you can handle. That is, of course, as much as you’re willing to limit your sexiness.”

“I want,” Rinni swallowed hard as she became nervous, “I want to be a D cup.”

“Oh, you do, huh? Is that sexy enough for you?”

Rinni thought about it for a moment. Looking down at her breasts, she answered, “Yes. No! Wait.” She whispered, “Double D. 38 Double D. That’d be so hot.”

Marie turned an ear towards her, “I didn’t catch that. Tell me that again?”

“38DD. I want to be that size.”

“I’m sorry, can you speak up?”

Rinni spoke more loudly than she intended, “I want to have 38DD boobs!” She turned red and turned her eyes away.

Marie was amused. “Hm, now that I think about it that’s quite large. I’m not sure I can do that for you.”

Rinni’s eyes went big, “What? You just told me to get them bigger!”

“I did not. You wanted them bigger. I don’t have to give them to you if I don’t want your business, but it’ll be your loss.”

Rinni was annoyed. She was set on bigger breasts after convincing herself to get them. “Fine! Give me the bigger boobs, I want them!”

“A little demanding aren’t we? I’m about to do a nice job for you here.”

She wasn’t happy, but she really wanted this now, “Please! Please make my boobs bigger! I have to have those 38DD boobs!”

Rinni’s eyes pleaded earnestly, and Dr. Gemwood was elated. The serum worked perfectly, and this girl would be made an example of. Breasts that large would look ridiculous on her 5′4″, 105 pound frame. It suited her plans perfectly, however, so she agreed to do the work.

Rinni signed the new papers, and Marie warned her, “Your new breasts will be quite large. We will have to do it in stages. This time we’ll put you up a cup size, and next week we’ll see how it’s doing and go from there, okay?”

“Uh-huh. Does that mean we can start now?”

“That’s right Rinni; follow me and we can get started.”* * *

Rinni stood in front of the mirror. She was admiring her new cleavage after the operation, “Oh my god, they’re so big! It’s...it’s so sexy! I love it!”

Marie smiled, “They look great, don’t they? It’ll go along great with your new tan.”

Rinni looked at the doctor’s reflection in the mirror, “Why should I tan? I like my smooth, pale skin.”

“That’s just it, isn’t it? With white skin like that, you still just look like a teenager who had a growth spurt early. You don’t truly look like a sexy adult.”

“I don’t?”

“Not at all. You really have to work that tan. Believe me.”

Rinni looked unsure but decided to trust her, “Well, I guess you would know. You’re old enough to.”

Dr. Gemwood’s eye twitched at that comment, “You just move along now, and come back in two weeks so I can check on you. And don’t forget to tan! If you look older you’ll look sexier!”* * *

That evening Rinni’s mother was mad at her for getting her breasts done larger than they had discussed, but Rinni was convincing and her mother backed down. It was a one-time deal, so she let her get away with it. Besides, she reasoned, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t had her fair share of work done as well, so she could only get so mad at her daughter.

A few days after Rinni was glad she had gotten them larger, as she was in the mood for something a bit kinkier with her boyfriend and breasts this size made it easier. Leaning over her boyfriend, she placed his cock between her tits and started massaging it with them.

“Oh shit Rinni, that’s awesome!” Her boyfriend was astonished at what was happening to him right now. Especially after the last debacle they had when she asked about her breasts. Now they were gigantic, and while he wasn’t complaining about them before, he certainly wasn’t going to start now.

“Mmm!” Rinni found herself turned on by it as well. Normally she wouldn’t be up for something so out there sexually, but with her new breasts she thought it would be a shame not to at least try it out.

She worked her breasts around his cock, both of them breathing in heavily as the scene turned them on. It didn’t take long before her boyfriend came, spurting his seed on the top of her breasts, and a bit on her chin.

“Oh gross.” The cum had snapped her out of her sexual trance, and she immediately went to the bathroom to clean up. Looking over at her boyfriend, he was still in a daze with a goofy grin on his face, not even noticing her disgust with what she did. “God, he’s like a little kid or something.” She said aloud, though he wasn’t paying much attention.* * *

Two weeks later Rinni had appeared at Dr. Gemwoods clinic, dropped off by her mother. Dr. Gemwood examined her breasts, commenting on how the scars had begun to heal well, and the operation looked good. The doctor also noted to herself that Rinni’s tan had come in nicely. She had probably gone to a tanning booth a few times in the last couple of weeks, but it isn’t enough.

“So how are you and your boyfriend doing?”

“Fine. None of your business really.”

Dr. Gemwood was only trying to make small talk, but this girl was such a bother. “True, but you trust me now. Don’t worry about anything you say to me. I’m a doctor; your secrets are safe with me.”

Rinni’s expression became friendlier, “I guess you’re right. Sorry about that. We’re doing okay though. He likes my boobs.”

Dr. Gemwood decided to pry a little more, “How far are you two along? Did your new...assets come into play?”

“Huh?” It took Rinni a moment to realize what Dr. Gemwood asked before it clicked, “Oh, um, well I did give him a, well, a boobjob...it was awesome.” Her voice trailed as she blushed.

“Oh don’t be embarrassed! It’s just sex! I see naked bodies all the time, and I’m an adult, just like you now.”

Rinni perked up a bit, “That’s true, isn’t it? Pretty cool to think of myself that way now.”

Dr. Gemwood felt like she got the small talk out of the way, and got to serious business. “Rinni, I want to make you an offer, since you were such a good patient. Would you be interested in a free nose job? I can make you look even sexier, and I really want to help you.”

Rinni looked concerned, “I dunno, why would you want to help me?”

“Well it wouldn’t exactly be free. If you pay for a lip enhancement, I can give you the free nose job. It’s one of the cheaper procedures I do, so it wouldn’t be too bad for you. I’d just like to try out a new procedure. Ah, don’t worry though; it’s 100% safe, I just haven’t personally had much experience using it yet.” She lied; she was going to do a standard procedure, but she needed an excuse.

“So I’d be your guinea pig?”

“Well, in a way, yes. I could always just ask someone else, but I figured you’d be interested. It’s also a better deal than I’d give someone else, since you were such a good patient.”

Rinni thought it over, “Well you’re kind of weird to be honest, but my mom’s coming to pick me up in about two hours. Can you do it by then?”

That would be pushing it a little for what she wanted to do, but she would do it, “Alright, I can do that, just for you. What do you say? Are you up for it?”

“Uh-huh. Go ahead. I think it’ll be worth it if you can make me look sexier. Not that I think my nose or lips are that bad anyway.”

Dr. Gemwood picked at her, “Sure, if you like looking like a child. Some guys are into that.”

Rinni frowned, “Where do I sign?”* * *

Rinni’s face was partially wrapped in bandages; she sat on a chair as Dr. Gemwood explained what was next, “I’ll remove your bandages next week, so make sure to come back.”

Rinni felt her lips being very swollen, “Wuh about my mowf?”

“The swelling should go down in a few days; you should be able to get an idea of what it will look like then.”

The doctor considered Rinni for a moment, then continued, “You know, Rinni, how much sleep do you get right now?”

“Uh, like 8 or 9 hous.” Rinni responded awkwardly.

“It’s not good to get too much sleep. You should try to get less, like say at most 5 hours.”

Rinni was surprised, “That wittle?”

“You’ll be okay. Set your alarm for four hours sleep for now. It will take some getting used to, but it’s better for you.”

“Awight.”

“Now get going; your mom might be waiting for you.”

When Rinni saw her mother, she freaked out. Seeing her daughter’s bandages on her face, it was all she could do to barge in the doctor’s office and throw chairs at her. Rinni did everything in her power to convince her it was her own idea, and that it was mostly free. That calmed down her mother a little bit, but she was still grounded for a week. It was fine with Rinni though, as she didn’t really want to go anywhere with bandages on her face.* * *

Dr. Gemwood could see how tired Rinni looked. No doubt due to her new four hour sleep schedule. Rinni’s lips were no longer swollen, but they were still enormous. They were just large enough that her lips didn’t touch completely, and the doctor found it amusing that even with bandages were on her face and she still bothered to wear lip gloss. Her eyes were half opened as the doctor removed her bandages. They grew wider once she saw her reflection.

“I-I look older!”

It was true, Dr. Gemwood thought. She did look older, but only because she had made it so. Her nose was no longer the pert, cute button nose she had, but was now sharp and straight. It basically looks obvious that she had a nose job, and made her look a bit older. “You do, Rinni, it makes you look sexier. I think you look sexier.”

“I guess that’s okay then...”

“It really sets off your tan and other work nicely.”

“My eyes look gross too...”

Rinni’s eyes would have had dark circles regardless because of her lack of sleep, but with the nose job the circles were extremely dark and bruised looking. “You can just take care of that with makeup,” Dr. Gemwood offered, “but you’ll have to get some heavier makeup than what you normally wear, as those circles are pretty dark. It probably suits you anyway now, as heavier makeup tends to make people look a little older and sexier.”

Rinni pondered the doctor’s suggestion, “Hm, is that right?”

Dr. Gemwood continued on, “My, now that I think about it, you’ve quite the obsession lately with looking older don’t you?”

“Sexier,” Rinni corrected, “Old isn’t sexy.”

“I didn’t mean old as in a grandma. I just mean not like a teenager. An adult. Adults are sexy, and you’re all about looking like an adult aren’t you?”

Rinni was absorbing what the doctor was telling her, “Uh-huh. I want to look adult.”

“Then you should keep it up. I think it’s a good look for you. Well, you’re obsessed anyway so I’m sure I don’t have to tell you.”

“I am a little obsessed with it aren’t I?” Rinni laughed weakly, obviously tired.

Dr. Gemwood was satisfied with her work on Rinni for today, “Well, things look good here. Thank you for helping me out Rinni. I know you can’t help yourself, but I appreciate it.”

“Uh-huh, whatever. Bye.”

Rinni left, but Dr. Gemwood knew she wouldn’t be gone for long.* * *

Rinni had her mouth full of her boyfriend’s cock. She was giving it her all; dressed up in black lace lingerie and her makeup done heavy, she felt sexy and that made her horny. Lips wrapped around his member, she slid them down the length of it, tongue licking the underside as she did so. Her dark lipstick left smudges on her boyfriend’s dick, and she liked it, as if she was leaving his mark on him. She felt his cock convulse, and knew he was going to cum soon, she looked up, excited to see his face as she teased him, and she was surprised to find a horny but concerned expression looking back at her. She didn’t know what to make of it, but set it aside as she swallowed his load.

Her boyfriend sank back into the bed, spent from the blowjob, and Rinni walked over to her cabinet. Reaching behind the clothes inside, she pulled out a small glass and a bottle of Jack.

“Want some?” she asked as she poured herself a shot.

Her boyfriend gave her a shocked look, which annoyed her, “What are you doing? Is that..? You drink?”

“Tch. Why not? I’m an adult.” She gave him a look of disgust and took a sip of the alchohol, leaving lipstick and cum on the glass.

The boyfriend sat up, “You’re barely 18! I didn’t know you drank! And the surgeries, your breasts…all the makeup… I can’t deal with it. You’ve become so different lately, and it’s making you look kinda old really.”

A bit of rage flickered in Rinni, “What?? Old?! I knew it; you’re just a little kid! I’m not old I’m mature and sexy! Unlike you—you’re just a little boy, with that little dick of yours. You can’t handle someone like me!”

She downed the rest of the shot and slammed it on the table. “You can let yourself out!”

She walked out of the guest bedroom to her own room. Luckily her mom was out for the weekend so she wouldn’t have to explain herself as she slammed her door shut. She stripped off her lingerie angrily and started picking out some clubbing clothes.

“How dare he! Old? Hmph. Maybe I shouldn’t settle on someone so early. There’s someone out there who can understand me, I just have to find them.”

After touching up her makeup, she found the car keys for one of her mom’s other cars, and drove out to the club. She wasn’t particularly a clubbing person before, especially since she could only get into under-21 clubs, but she knew dressed like this they wouldn’t question her. Besides, she thought, it was only midnight; she had at least a few more hours before she’d even consider sleeping.

[harpiesbazaar]

Day three: fisting and medical play

Pepper Potts x reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, medplay, fisting, dub-con, soft!pepper, kinda mean!pepper

This is Normal

You tried to take deep breaths, to calm the churning in your stomach but as you scanned the pristine exam room, it seemed to get worse. The exam table sat dauntingly in the middle of the room, stirrups up and waiting. Disorienting white lights illuminated the room and refused to cast shadows. All you could do was stare, unsettled and feet heavy.

At your mother’s insistence, you scheduled an appointment with a “lady doctor��. Dr. Potts was highly recommended by your mom, and while you wanted to argue that you didn’t *need* to see one, you would rather deal with the discomfort than your mother’s scathing disappointment.

“There’s a sheet on the table for you to cover yourself with,” the nurse who had escorted you stated and your attention turned back to her. Blue eyes softened, noticing your distress. “Strip from the waist down, and unhook your bra. Dr. Potts will come in, answer any questions, and you’ll get your exam done.”

She smiled, kind and understanding, and you felt yourself reciprocating as she turned to leave. “You’re going to be fine,” she assured, and the heavy door clicked shut.

“This’ll be fine,” you tried to persuade yourself as you took calculated steps to the table. Short boots were kicked off unceremoniously.

“I’m gonna act normal.”

Shaky fingers unbuttoned your jeans and slipped those and your underwear down in one swoop.

“She’s just a doctor--this is normal.”

You grabbed the sheet that the nurse had mentioned and frowned at the texture. It felt more like tissue paper. Just glancing at the offending thing would no doubt rip it, but you were desperate for some kind of decency, so you stepped up and sat down.

The sheet of disposable paper crinkled under your bare skin as you shifted. You draped the “sheet” over your legs, tucking it in under your thighs as gently as possible as you crossed your legs. One foot bounced, but you couldn’t seem to care as you sat with only paper and an oversized sweater to cover yourself.

Two sharp knocks startled you. Before you could croak out some type of response, the door was cracked open.

“Hi, y/n, are you decent?”

“Uh, yeah,” you stuttered out, clinging to the paper over your thighs as if it’d fly away.

The first thing you noticed about Dr. Potts was her smile: radiant and full teeth. It warmed your stomach, almost soothing your nerves before igniting them further.

She walked in like she owned the place, setting her laptop down on a rolling cart before sitting in a backless chair that you hadn’t even noticed.

“I’m Dr Potts,” she smirked, extending her hand. “But, call me Pepper.”

You leaned forward despite the discomfort and took her hand. “It’s, uh, good to meet you. Y/n but you already know that. It’s my first time here—my mom said I should come to you, but I wasn’t too sure, and-“

“You’re rambling,” Pepper interrupted, her eyes sparkling.

Snapping your hand away, you glared down at your lap.

“Oh honey, it’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to be nervous. We can take it slow.”

When you looked back at her, you couldn’t help but melt under her softness. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

Pepper opened her laptop before glancing back at you. “Now, let’s go over medical history.”

It hadn’t taken long for you to answer her questions. Most were simple. She even asked more personal questions: hobbies, friends, if you were in school. Everything she did so far had put you at such ease.

“Alright y/n, I need you to lie back.”

This moment of truth had you flustered, but, you had to trust Pepper. So far, she hasn’t led you astray. She’d been honest with you—made you feel comfortable. Perhaps you could do this.

You followed instructions, and continued to do so as she directed you to scooch down and place your heels in the stirrups. Pepper rolled her chair near you, only to stand and hover beside you.

She placed a gloved hand on your knee. “Would you like someone else in the room, or are you comfortable if I continue?”

You lifted your head to look her in the eyes. “I trust you.”

“Good! Now just relax.” Her hands shifted to your stomach and pulled your sweater up to your chest.

Cold air chilled your skin and caused your nipples to harden. You shut your eyes, only willing to endure as soft hands poked your flesh.

Pepper took her time, slender fingers prodding the tissue of one breast before moving to the next. She followed the same pattern, and you exhaled a breath of relief only to have it hitch in your throat as her finger grazed your nipple.

“Responsive,” Pepper sighed, her fingers now trailing down your stomach. They stopped at the hem of the tissue paper. That’s when you finally mustered the confidence to watch.

“And there’s those pretty eyes,” she cooed before pulling away the sheet. “Let’s get this out of the way, hm?”

The woman rounded you again before settling in her chair between your legs. You gasped as her hands gripped the inside of your thighs and pushed them further.

“Don’t be shy, honey. I’ll take good care of you.”

Her thumb pressed firmly against your clit causing you to gasp. You tried not to move too much: this was normal—it had to be.

“Such a good girl,” Pepper praised, moving her thumb in tight circles. You were sure to short circuit. “Keep it up so I can reward you, okay sweetie?”

Reward? How was an exam a rew—

One finger pressed into you with ease. Shock was replaced with pleasure, and you couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your lips.

“That’s it baby, open up for me.”

Pepper started slow, corkscrewing her digit until you were wiggling and sighing for more. She was happy to oblige, pushing in a second with little resistance.

You could feel yourself getting wetter, your body more accepting. Her fingers were so good—better than the sloppy, car quickies you frequented with your ex.

A chaste kiss was pressed to your thigh. “Look at you, soaking my glove,” Pepper taunted, eyes dark as she stared at you. “Who would’ve thought you were such a slut.”

Moaning louder, you lifted your hips just slightly, forcing her fingers deeper.

“Oh? You want more baby? Think you can take another finger?”

“Please,” you begged, groaning when she didn’t even wait for you to ask before slipping in a third.

It was so good. Your stomach was beginning to coil as you danced with undeniable pleasure, but it wasn’t enough.

“More,” you cried out, “please Pepper!”

She chuckled at you, her free hand sitting just below your stomach. “So greedy,” she chastised, “let’s see if you can take my whole hand then.”

When her lips latched onto your clit, you were almost certain you could cry. She lapped against you, spitting and drooling and making the most obscene noises. You were a sputtering mess, squirming underneath her talented tongue.

You didn’t have to ask for a fourth; Pepper was in a giving mood. The pain of stretching slowly morphed into further pleasure until you were babbling pleases and mores. The precipice was nearing, your muscles tightening and begging for release.

“One more, baby,” Pepper assured after a long swipe at your cunt. “Deep breaths.”

Her thrusts were strong, but you almost doubted her ability to fit another in despite wanting it. You felt stretched, maxed out, and you almost protested until her thumb was teasing your pussy with every stroke in and out.

“Please Pepper! Oh fuck, please fuck me,” You sobbed, tears springing in the corners of your eyes as you moved with every thrust.

Pepper laughed, eyes sparkling once she tucked her thumb into her hand and forced herself back into you. Her pace was ruthless and you didn’t even have time to adjust to the size of her hand before you were shaking and squeezing around her, your orgasm rocking you without much warning.

“So, so good for me!” Pepper exclaimed, just barely slowing her pace and forcing you back up the cliff for another, inevitable, orgasm. “Give me one more, honey. Soak my hand like a good girl.”

And fuck, who were you to deny? You reached up and clasped a hand over your mouth as a scream was ripped from your throat, hips jerking and rolling until your orgasm, and Pepper’s hand, slowed.

She pulled out of you carefully, you shivered at the emptiness and longed to be full again. More. Now. Please.

You’d come back for another appointment. Again. And again. And again.

[falcqns]

Can I request a Chris Evans x reader where she’s his wife and she’s pregnant with Millie, and she goes into labor?? And where they introduce her to her older brother Michael?? Thanks:))💓

it's been a little while since i looked in your eyes

pairing: dad!Chris Evans x mom!Reader

warnings: mentions of childbirth, needles. swearing, mostly fluff!

a/n: thank you for this request! i apologize if there are any medical inaccuracies, i think we all know by now that my birth was anything but regular! also, the title is from the song 'For You To Be Here' by Tom Rosenthal, and thank you to the nurse who saw this song listed in my birth plan and played it while i was pushing so she was born to it!! also since this takes place in the Millie and Michael universe, Chris wasn't present for Michael's birth which is covered in Meet Me In The Hallway!

you knew Chris would most likely have a freak out when you went into labour with Millie, but you didn't expect it to be this severe.

the moment your water broke, its like he snorted adrenaline. he was frantically calling his mom and his dad, finding someone to take Michael and Dodger, and deciding whether he should take the big SUV that he bought after he met Michael, or if taking his little car he used for work would be good enough, all while you were sitting on the couch waiting for him to finish freaking so you could go and get this baby out of you.

his mom showed up a few minutes later, Chris still mid-freak out, and managed to calm him slightly. you said your goodbyes to Michael, and you were off.

Chris was gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white, and you rubbed his leg.

"baby, just calm down." you said, and he looked at you.

"i can't, y/n. i missed Michael's birth, and i don't want anything to go wrong. i want to be able to witness at least one of our kids births." he said. to any other person, it might seem that he was shaming you for not telling you about your pregnancy with Michael, but you knew he wasn't. was he disappointed he missed the birth of his first child? of course, but he never, EVER, held it against you.

"i know baby, but that's not going to happen if you're freaking out sweetie." you explained and watched as some of the colour returned to his knuckles as he lightened his grip on the steering wheel.

you arrived at the hospital minutes later, and Chris seemed much more calm and collected. he grabbed the diaper bag, and took your hand after taking a picture of you in front of the hospital. he posted it on instagram with the caption "can't wait to meet you, Millie Shanna <3". he put his phone away, and the two of you continued inside.

you were admitted, and brought up to the private room that Chris had reserved. you changed into your gown, and laid in the bed. the doctor came in and assessed you, and then a few more nurses swarmed around to give you the epidural, as you were already 6 centimetres dilated, so if you didn't get it then, you wouldn't be able to.

Chris played with your hair and gave you kisses while the doctors stuck the needle in your back. "you're doing great, bubba." he whispered, and you giggled.

"i know. they're giving me the good stuff. i'm gonna be having the time of my life." you said, and Chris laughed. he pressed a kiss to your forehead, and then you were able to lay on your back once more.

you took a nap as the drugs kicked in, and Chris sat down on the bed, and caressed your belly the best he could with all the monitors on it.

"i can't wait to see your little face, Millie." he whispered, a kiss being pressed just below your bellybutton. "you're gonna be such a beauty, and i'm so blessed that i get to see you enter this world. i love you so much already, and please don't hurt mama too badly, i love her lady bits a little too much for my own good." he said, and then was interrupted when he heard you bust into laughter.

he looked up at you and laughed as you were wheezing with tears rolling down your face. "i'm guessing the meds kicked in." he said, and you laughed even harder, unintelligible words coming out.

another nap later, and you were at 10 centimetres dilated, and eager to get this child out of you. you were thankful that Chris had calmed down slightly, although you had a feeling he was going to freak out even more when it came time to push her out. you looked over at him as the bassinet was rolled in, and his face paled. you knew he just realized that it was time, and you saw his hands start to shake.

you reminded yourself that while you had gone through this before, he hadn't, and most likely was feeling the same way you did when you were in labour with Michael, all alone and wishing Chris were there with you.

you grabbed his hand, and rubbed your thumb along the back of it, to calm him down. "it's going to be okay." you reminded him, and he nodded.

"i know. i'm just nervous. i know that's ridiculous because i'm not the one pushing a whole human out of me, but i'm still scared. i want both you and her to be safe and perfectly healthy." he explained, and you smiled.

you were just about to reassure him, when the doctor came in, and told you that it was time to push. you took a deep breath, and looked at Chris who gulped, but took your hand, his other hand wrapping around your shoulders.

the doctor checked you once more, and instructed you to push. you pushed as the doctor counted to ten, and Chris encouraged you. you took a breath, and looked up at your husband, who was smiling despite his breathing being close to hyperventilating.

the doctor instructed you to push once more, and Chris ran his hand through your hair as you pushed. you sighed and relaxed back against the pillows and waited until the next contraction.

"how are you so chill?" Chris asked you, as you gazed out the window.

"i can't feel shit below my chest, love. i just feel like i'm going to the bathroom." you explained, and Chris laughed. "we're you this chill with Michael?" he asked, and you cackled.

"oh fuck no. i was terrified and was crying the whole time. then i started crying after he was born and called my best friend for her to bring me a burger bc i was starving." Chris chuckled and pressed a kiss into your hair as your next contraction approached, and the doctor instructed you to push again. you did, and you knew that she was close because the doctor started encouraging you even more.

"just a few more pushes, and she'll be here!" the doctor said, and you nodded. you pushed again, and the doctor smiled and looked up at you.

"i can see her head!" she exclaimed, and glanced at Chris. "do you want to come see?" Chris looked at you, and you nodded. he walked around to where the doctor was, and you let out a giggle as his entire face paled, but he smiled.

"oh my god," he said, and gripped your hand again, and you could feel his own shaking. you pushed again, as hard as you could, and a small cry pierced the air. you looked up, and saw your little girl. she was screaming, and flailing her arms, letting everyone in the room know that she was not happy.

you felt hot tears make their way down your face as she was placed on your chest. you wrapped your arms around her, and she was wiped off by the nurses. Chris placed his hand on her head, and you looked up at him to find him sobbing.

"it's okay, honey," you whispered to Millie, who was still screaming. "i bet that hurt, huh? it's all done now." you patted her back gently as she slowly calmed down, and Chris pressed a kiss to your head.

"she's so fuckin' perfect," he sobbed into your hair. he lent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "hi princess," he whispered into her skin.

as soon as she heard her daddy's voice, she calmed, and opened her eyes to look at him, which only made him cry harder. she was lifted off your chest, and taken to be cleaned and wrapped up. one of the nurses asked if Chris wanted to cut the umbilical cord, and Chris nodded. as he did, you leaned back, and sighed a breath of relief as it hit you that you weren't pregnant anymore, and you could breathe freely without your daughters feet in your ribs.

Millie was wrapped up, and laid in Chris's arms. he gently rocked her as he walked back over to you. he sat down on the bed beside you, and sniffled as he looked down at her. "she's beautiful." you said, and Chris nodded, giving you the most loving and grateful look ever.

"just like you." he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

a little while after, Millie had fallen asleep shortly after her first meal, and she was laid in her bassinet. Chris took this time to call his family, and ask his mom to bring Michael. he thought about waiting a few days before bringing him, but you missed your little boy too much, and wanted to see him.

Lisa arrived with Michael an hour later, and Chris went out to greet them.

"congratulations, honey." Lisa whispered as she hugged Chris.

"thank you mom," he said, and pulled out of the hug to turn to Michael.

"okay bud. we're going to go in and see her, but you have to be quiet, okay? she's sleeping right now." he explained, and Michael nodded.

"okay daddy." he said, and Chris took his hand. he led his son and his mom into the room, where you were editing photos of Millie on your phone to post on instagram.

"hi mama," Michael said, glued to his fathers side, unsure if he was allowed to go and see you. you dropped your phone into your lap and opened your arms.

"hey baby. come here." you said, and he crawled onto the bed gently, his slim arms wrapping around you. he looked over into the bassinet, and gasped.

"is that Millie?" he asked, and Millie let out a small sneeze in reply. you nodded.

"yeah, that's your sister." Chris said, lifting the now awake baby out of the bassinet. "do you wanna hold her?" he asked and Michael nodded. you maneuvered Michael slightly so he was sitting back against you, and Millie was placed in his arms.

Lisa started taking photos as Michael admired his little sister while Chris sat down next to the two of them. he kissed Michael's head while he cooed at his sister, and smiled in happiness.

he finally had the family he'd been wanting for so long.

[chaoticpuff17]

When the Chips are Down

part 10

masterlist

Warnings: arguing, smut, pregnant smut, lactation kink (if you squint) 

hello my darlings, so I did a thing, a thing I did not know that I was going to be doing, but enjoy!--- chaotic puff 

She’d had some time with the other ladies after her appointment was over before Miss In ushered everyone out claiming that Y/N needed rest. Rest was well and good, but she would have preferred having company. She detested bed rest, but it was made better by the presence of a certain orange bundle of hate that had driven her regular fluffy white companion away. 

Hoseok had come to get Iyla, and he’d brought with him Chester. He shoved the cat into her arms muttering something about taking her demon cat back, but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she held the grumbly little cat. She couldn’t blame Hoseok for wanting him gone. Chester liked very few people. He liked her best and then Iyla. Jackson had been tolerated, but Chester was her little grump, a little grump who had set up shop half sprawled across her belly and refused to move, meowing unhappily anytime someone got to close. This was how Namjoon found her later that night. 

She was content as she could be given the situation, curled up a bundle of yarn and a crochet hook when Namjoon walked in.

“I’m sorry I was away so long.” he sent her a tired smile, crossing the room to kiss her forehead only to jump back as her little orange protector hissed at him. “What is that doing back here?” he asked, taking another step back to put a little more distance between himself and Chester. The cat might not have been in the estate for long, but everyone knew that he was a bad tempered little demon. 

“Hoseok brought him over when he came to get Iyla.” she hummed, gently scratching under Chester’s chin earning herself a contented purr from the cat. 

Namjoon sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can’t Hoseok take it back?” 

“No.” she huffed, sending him a dark look. 

“You have Moni.” 

“I also have Chester.” 

“Chester is a living horror.” Namjoon huffed, staring at the cat with distaste. “I  can get you a new cat, a better cat.” 

“I like Chester. Picked him up from the streets. He was a skinny little thing then.” she mused fondly, pausing the repetitive motion of her fingers so she could give the cat a little scratch around the ears. 

“No. No street cats. He could have diseases.” 

She scoffed, picking up the crochet hook again. “I’ve had Chester for years. He doesn’t have any diseases.” 

“I’ll get you a puppy.” he offered, practically begging her to send the nightmare of a cat back to Hoseok. 

“I already have a dog.” 

“A dog who is terrified of that thing.” Carefully, Namjoon approached the bed again, wary of the cat. “It’s a street cat. I can find you something better, something nicer.” 

Her hands stilled, her shoulders suddenly pulled back in a rigid posture that matched the incredulous look in her eye and the flash of ire in their depths. “So that means I’m free to go.” 

“What? Of course not...”

“I lived on the streets, so did Iyla. Who knows what kind of diseases we could be carrying? You can find something better.” 

He was silent, letting her words sink in, very quickly realizing the error of his words. “That’s not… I’m sorry, jagi. That’s not what I meant.”  She huffed, refusing to answer him as she kept her jaw set in irritation, picking up her project again, aggressively working through the next couple of stitches. “Jagi…”  He took a step closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed reaching for her only to draw his hand back as the cat took a swipe at him with an angry yowl. 

“Careful. He’ll get you.” she scoffed. “And you never know what sort of diseases we could be carrying.” 

“Jagi, I never meant…” 

“Then what did you mean?” she looked up, quirking a brow. “I think you were quite clear on your feelings about it.” 

“I would never… I didn’t mean.” he sighed trying to collect himself. “I could never find anyone better than you.” 

“Go to the bad part of town and you’ll find a dozen girls just like me, just like I was all those years ago.” 

“But they’re not you.” he urged sitting on the bed despite Chester taking another swipe at him. Joon had other ideas though. Quickly and carefully as he could, he removed the cat from her belly, earning himself some scratches in the process as the cat tried to take a bite out of him. 

“What are you doing?” she cried setting down her project again. 

“I’d like to talk to my wife without your little orange demon keeping me at arm’s length.” he huffed practically tossing the cat off the bed. As soon as the cat was out of the way, he took her hands in his, urging her to look at him. “I never meant to insult you or your past. I know how hard it was for you, for Iyla. If I could have taken you away from that, I would have. Marcus never would have laid a hand on you.” he reached up a hand to cup her cheek even though she turned away from  his touch. 

“You can’t change the past, and who even says I would have wanted you?” 

“I love you, jagi.” he promised, turning her face back to his. “If you would just let me…” 

“You’d what?” she asked, voice harsh and brows scrunched together. “You’d give up your business? You’d let Iyla leave? You’d let me have my freedom? What would you do?” 

“I would give you the world.” 

She huffed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want the world. I never did. I just wanted my family to be safe.” 

“I can keep you safe. I will protect you and our family.” he urged. “Nothing will ever hurt you while I’m here.” 

“Except for you?” 

He tensed but forced himself to relax. “I don’t want to hurt you, jagi. I want you safe and happy, you and the baby.” 

“We were happy in Italy.” 

“Happy with me.” he amended, slightly annoyed by her mention of Italy. He was still silently fuming about having to release Mark, and he didn’t want any reminders of her time away from him,  not when they were so close to having their perfect little family. “I could make you so happy, jagi.” 

She rolled her eyes again, turning her attention back to the project at hand, taking her other hand away from Namjoon so she could get back to work.

“What are you working on?” 

“If all goes well? It should be a teddy bear.” 

“For the baby?” she hummed her assent. “How did the appointment go?” he asked, settling himself on the bed beside her. 

“Baby’s fine. I’m fine.” 

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side as she continued with her stitches. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I have to get things in order for the birth, so I can be here with you and the baby. Did you get a picture?” he asked hopefully. 

“It’s over on the table.” she nodded. “Healthy baby. The doctor said that she should be here in about five weeks.” 

“Five?” He asked, turning his attention away from the ultrasound photo. “I thought you were due in six.” His eyes darted between her face and the belly, before he froze his eyes, wide as saucers, slowly settling on her face. “She?” he asked, voice barely above an awed whisper. “It’s a girl?” 

A bright smile spread across her features as she nodded. She couldn’t be mad when she was talking about her baby, her little girl, and she couldn’t deny his awe was endearing. 

“A girl.” he whispered, eyes drifting down to her belly in awe, hands settling on it as he bent down so that he was eye level with her bump. “Hi, princess. Your mom and I are so excited to meet you, but you need to stay safe in there for a few more weeks okay? You have to stop giving your mom and I such scares. You’re giving me gray hair.” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her belly. “You can do that for me. Okay, princess?” 

Y/N suppressed a laugh, and Namjoon looked up at her with a big grin. He was different now than when she left. He was less soft, more chiseled. His features had become sharper, and she could definitely see the muscles straining under his suit jacket. She had to admit, he looked good, a little tired, but good. Their time apart had changed both of them apparently. 

 “We’re having a girl.” 

“We are.” she nodded with a grin of her own, only to be caught off guard as Namjoon darted up and caught her in a deep kiss,  entangling his hands in her short hair. 

“We’re having a girl.” he murmured again once he pulled away before diving in for another kiss. “I love you, jagi.” he went in for another kiss, only to be shocked by the moan that Y/N released. He pulled away slightly looking down at her, the cogs in his head turning. 

Slowly, he slid a hand down to rest against her breast giving it a tentative squeeze and was rewarded by a gasp from his wife. “So sensitive.” he praised, feeling the weight of her breast in his hands. They were definitely bigger now.

“Namjoon…” she warbled, bringing a shaky hand up to his shoulder in a weak attempt to push him away. She would have been lying if she said she wasn’t horny. All the hormones rushing through her body had left her a little more than frustrated for a lot of her pregnancy, but Mark had taken care of some of that. Mark wasn’t here now though. Namjoon was. 

“Shh, jagi.” he purred, trailing kisses down her neck, nipping at her pulse. “Let me make you feel good.” 

“Namjoon… the baby!” she gasped, fingers clutching the material of his suit as he bit down on her collarbone

“The baby’s fine. The doctor tells me things too.” he pulled away to look up at her with a mischievous grin. “You’re leaking, jagi.” he chuckled, rolling her nipple through the thin material of her nightgown. 

“Namjoon!” she scolded, pushing against his shoulder again. 

“It’s good.” he grinned. “You’re getting ready for our baby.”  

“It’s embarrassing.” she hissed. 

“It’s natural.” he pulled down her nightgown to expose her breasts. 

“They’re sore.” she warned, trying to steer him away from her chest. 

“I can help with that.” he grinned, leaning down to take one of her nipples into his mouth, rolling the bud around with his tongue. 

“Namjoon!” she cried, her hands flying up to his hair. 

“You taste divine, jagi.”  he purred looking up from her breast. 

“Stop.” she gasped as he leaned down to pay attention to her other breast. “We should stop.” 

He paused, looking up at her with that same mischievous look on his face. “Why?” he asked. “You’re my wife, and I want to make love to my beautiful,” a kiss was placed on her neck. “Pregnant,”  Another kiss. “Wife.” by this point he had worked his way up to her face again, placing the final kiss on her lips. “Will you let me do that?” he whispered, forehead pressed against hers. 

“Okay.” she whispered.

She could regret it in the morning, blame it on the hormones or the rush of endorphins or just the general horniness she’d been feeling for months, but for now she was going to let a very attractive man make love to her and pretend like this was normal. She was going to pretend that she was happy and in love and celebrating her baby girl with the love of her life even if she wasn’t. She could regret it in the morning. 

Namjoon didn’t hesitate once he had her permission, getting to work relieving them both of their clothes, cursing himself for the three piece suit he’d chosen that morning. It had too many layers, too many buttons. This was the first time in months he was going to be able to touch her, to make love to her, and he was the idiot wearing a three piece suit. 

He’d noticed during their bath the changes to her body, but it was fascinating to see them up close, to be able to worship them as he should have been able to do from the beginning. There were stretch marks on her hips, extending up her belly, and he made sure to press a kiss to each one. Her hips were fuller, and her belly, god her belly, it was glorious, round and soft and all because of him. That was his child, his daughter, in there, the perfect little angel that he and Y/N had made. He still couldn’t believe it. A daughter, he was going to have a daughter. He could practically see her now. She’d have her mother’s eyes and his dimples, and she’d be quick as a wip. She was going to be beautiful, just like her mother. 

“I love you.” He murmured against her belly as he practically ripped her underwear from her. 

It had been a long eight months without her. Yes, there had been other women, but they couldn’t compare to her. No one could ever compare to her.

“Namjoon.” she mewled a tone of neediness in her voice that he had never heard before, and he swore under his breath catching sight of what waited for him between her legs. 

“You’re dripping for me, jagi.” he growled, rubbing two fingers over her slit. “Soaked just for me.” she whimpered, her hips bucking up a little in search of something more than the light touches he was giving her, and Namjoon was more than happy to give that to her. 

She was wet enough that he had no problem plunging two fingers directly into her heat eliciting the most enticing moan from her. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in her right there and then, but he knew she needed to be prepped before he could do that. He didn’t want to hurt her, not again. The last time they’d been together had been traumatizing for her, and he didn’t want anything to hurt her during their first time together again. 

His thumb rubbed circles around her clit as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of her watching closely as she came closer and closer to coming undone. Just before she was about to fall over the edge, he pulled away, and Y/N cried out in protest.

“I want you to come around my cock, jagi.” He growled, flipping her over gently, helping her onto her hands and knees so that there would be no strain on her belly.  “Can you do that for me?” 

“Please, Namjoon.” she begged, resting on her forearms forehead pressed down onto the pillow as she stuck her ass out. 

“Anything for you.” he promised, pressing a kiss to the small of her back before lining himself up with her entrance. 

They both groaned as he sunk into her. “Shit, jagi. You’re still so tight.” he groaned, forcing himself to keep still as she adjusted to his size. “So tight for me.” 

He was careful as he began to move. He went slow, each thrust deliberate, enjoying the feel of her around him, enjoying the sounds she made. Slowly he began to pick up speed, one hand kept still on her hip while the other reached between them to play with her clit building her back up to the orgasm that he’d denied her before. He was reaching his own high embarrassingly quickly, but it had been so long since he’d had the privilege of being with her like this. 

He could feel her shaking, her walls spasming around him as she trembled on the edge of her high. “Cum for me.” He growled, his thrusts picking up speed. “Cum with me, jagi.” 

It wasn’t long before they were both crying out in pleasure as their orgasms ripped through them. Namjoon kept thrusting lazily into her, dragging out her pleasure as she shook like a leaf beneath him. 

Once they had both caught their breath, Namjoon eased out of her, carefully helping her back onto her side, wedging a pillow under her belly to help ease the weight of it. 

“I’ll be right back, jagi.” he promised as she whined reaching back towards him. “I need to get you cleaned up.” 

He was quick, washing himself up as swiftly as possible, and returning to her with fresh pajamas for both of them, and a wet washcloth to clean up the mess he’d left between her legs. 

“Joon.” she whined, flinching as he cleaned her up, and he whispered apologies knowing she had to be sensitive. 

Once they were both cleaned up and dressed, Namjoon settled them both down under the covers, pressing her back to his chest so that he could wrap his arms around her, so that he could keep both her and their daughter close. 

“I love you so much, jagi.” he whispered into her neck as she hummed sleepily. “So, so much.” 

part 11

[justvibewith]

Surprise Visit

Summary: You are a nursing student who just survive a hell week and you missed your husband, Wonwoo who is a doctor at a hospital in another state. Why not surprise him with a visit? Definitely a surprise visit that contains a whole drama.

Genre: fluff, a bit of suggestive (?), angst (more like a verbal fight tho)

Characters: Doctor Wonwoo x Female OC

Word Count: 3052

A/N: Hi! I’m a new writer and I only write for Seventeen atm. The name is Angel or you can call me Ella. English is my second language, so hopefully explain why writing is so bad. I used to write before but I had a writing block for over 3-4 years. Recently, I’m trying to train myself to write again. So I hope that all of you could give me some feedback or might challenge me to write some stories~ All of things happen on the story are fiction and some are real life experience. Enjoy!

"Finally, the hell week is over '' Hana lay her head down on the table. It was called hell week for a reason since the students had to take their final exam while also completing their practicals at the hospital. This is the week where a lot of students stay up, cry and stress together. Hana was also one of the students that pulled an all-nighter. To make it worse, she was not feeling herself. For a positive ball of energy like her, it’s unusual for that to happen.`I'm craving drinks, man. I wanna get drunk.." Siyeon said as she sat next to Hana with her iced americano. "Should we? Hana, you wanna go out tonight?" Jinjoo looked excited as she poked Hana. "I'm tired.." Hana mumbled from her arm. "That is why we should go out.." Jinjoo pouted as she tried to persuade her best friend. Hana sits up and drinks her iced tea in a daze. "Earth down to you, Hana. Are you good?" Jinjoo squeezed her friend's hand. "It must be about your husband, is it?" Siyeon guessed correctly which made Hana pouted. She looked at her sparkling wedding band on her ring finger. Jeon Wonwoo is Hana's husband and also a neurosurgeon at Seoul University Hospital. But currently, both of them are in a long-distance relationship since they are working and studying in different states. "How did you know?" Hana questioned, making Siyeon snicker. "It is so obvious, woman.." Hana pouted as she twirls the ring on her finger. Jinjoo looked at her best friend with a beaming smile. "How about you go and visit him? You know, give him a cute surprise~" Immediately, Hana's eyes lit up at the idea. “I mean, we already started our break. It doesn’t hurt for you to spend your time with your husband,” Siyeon encouraged her friend with a smile.

Hana was preparing her luggage when her phone rang. It is Wonwoo, who face-timed her. Hana scrambled, panicked before jumping on the bed to make it look like she did nothing. "Hi, baby. How are you?" Wonwoo's deep and gentle voice soothes Hana. She could make out that Wonwoo was also having a busy day judging by the tired smile on his face. Not only that, he was still wearing his white coat and his black thin-rimmed glasses subtly covered his dark eye bags. "Survived hell week. How are you? I missed you so much.." Hana beamed at the screen. "Miss you too, honey. Well, I had a few surgeries and I am also on call tonight, which is not fun. Have you eaten yet?" Hana nodded. "I did.. Take a quick nap okay? you look so tired, babe. Take care of your health too, if you are sick, how are you gonna take care of your patient?" Hana nagged her husband. "Yes, I understand, Mrs Jeon." He giggled. "I missed you so much.." Hana spoke softly. "Come here then.." Wonwoo grinned as he stretched. "Oh, I will. Just wait~" He laughed at her cute face scrunched.

"Who did you call?" Wonwoo turned to look at his fellow surgeon, Kwon Soon Young who pushed the door open. He came in with a cup of ramen with Jihoon, tagging along behind him. "My wife.." Wonwoo stood up and took a seat near the men as Jihoon put his ramen on the table. "You are married?" Sooyoung shouted. He was so shocked. He can’t believe this cold and stoic-looking man is already married. Soonyoung’s mind is revving to spill the tea about Wonwoo’s secret marriage to Seungkwan and Seokmin, the friendly nurses that he is close with. "It's obvious. He didn’t even hide that he is married. He even has his wife's picture in his locker and on his phone lock screen.Oh, I've met her once too," Jihoon said as he slurped the noodles. "Wait, am I the only person who didn't know? Can I meet her? Please?" Wonwoo sighed at his friend's persistence.

Wonwoo was finishing his round when he approached the nurses and doctors that he’s close with. "The infamous Jeon Wonwoo. Come and join us.." Yoon Jeonghan, the pediatric doctor called him. "We are talking about going out for dinner together tonight. I know your shift is gonna end today, so join us." Another pediatric doctor, Mingyu, excitedly urged him. "Mrs Jung, do you seriously agree with these nasty boys?" Wonwoo turned and asked the oldest nurse who is like his mom in the hospital, Mrs Jung. "I can't decline if someone is gonna buy me food and drinks. Doctor Min Ah Ra and Nurse Han Seo Jin are also going, so at least there are more women added to the party." She smiled. "I mean Doctor Min Ji seems very interested in you~You both would suit each other very much" Nurse Han Seo Jin wriggled her eyebrow at Wonwoo. Wonwoo looked very uncomfortable at the mention. Doctor Ah Ra is known for her straightforwardness in work and her love life. She always goes all out. Yesterday, she even bought him and Jihoon coffee and cakes. Even before that, she would always buy him food and sit near him. It’s not like he didn’t drop hints that he is not interested but in fact, he always declined and avoided her. Somehow, she didn't get it or she was just being persistent. "Should I be upfront and tell her that I'm married?" He thought. Sensing his discomfort, Mrs Jung said "I don't think that Doctor wonwoo think Doctor Ah Ra that way." Jeonghan also jumped to save him, "I guess it's true that Wonwoo is not interested in anyone.Oh, great news!  Soonyoung and Jihoon said that they are going to join us too. This is going to be more merrier!" 

Hana was very happy when she arrived at his apartment. When she entered the house, she smiled. The house was very clean despite being a bit dusty. "He must be very busy.." Hana cleaned his house and even stocked his fridge with food. She can't wait for him to come back home. After doing all the chores,she texted him to ask when he is available so she could call him, in order for her to  know when he is going to go home. "Sorry babe, I'm going out to eat with the team. Might be home around midnight though." He spoke softly. "Well, I miss you.." He chuckled. "If you want me to call you around midnight, sure~" Hana laughed as she snuggled in his bed. "Well, it's okay. We can talk tomorrow.." He sighed when he heard his name "sorry babe, duty calls.." She smiled. "Take care babe, love you.." He whispered. "Love you too darling". After the phone call, Hana pouted, thinking what she should do to kill some time. " Well, I should go shopping and eat great food.." She grinned as she searched for the restaurants that are popular in that area.

Not only SoonYoung and Jihoon follow them but the nurses, Seokmin and Seungkwan also joined the team. They were having bbq and enjoying the meat. "You know, I'm glad my children are older now. I can enjoy going out with you youngsters without stress." Mrs Jung laughed happily as she ate a piece of meat. "This is so good!" Seokmin sighed happily. Wonwoo nodded as he munched on his food. Doctor Ah Ra, like always, would stick near him. "Here a wrap. Says ahh..'' she tries to feed him a wrap. Wonwoo put his hand in front of him "it's okay. You should eat it.." Jeonghan and Jihoon looked at each other and sipped at their shots, at the awkward drama. Before nurse seojin can try to be a wing woman, Mrs Jung speaks out. "I guess we should play a game.. I really wanna see all of you youngsters play the game truth or dare without dare.. I'm too old for dare.." All of them laughed at her joke.

Hana grinned happily as she walked into the BBQ shop. "Hi, can I have a seat for a person.." The waitress nodded and brought her to a seat. "I'm sorry to inform you that the set comes for 2 people," she smiled at the waitress. "It's okay.., '' she grinned at the waitress. The waitress nodded at her before sitting her down at an empty table. Hana was looking around the BBQ restaurants when a group of people caught her eyes. They were laughing at one of the women's jokes. "I should invite Siyeon and Jinjoo here.." She pouted as she looked at her phone. However, the guy who sits at the edge of the table looked very familiar which made her double take. She looked up again to see the man,clearly. Lo and behold, it's her husband. She quickly ducks her head, hiding her face. "Oh no! I'm going to be caught."

"Which department doctor do you hate so much?" Jihoon asked the oldest nurse. "We all know Mr Kang Ho Jun from the cardiology department. That man is annoying!" Mr Jung huffed. All of them laugh. "Yup I can't deny it."  Jeonghan sighed, taking a shot. "So now let us turn the bottle.." It landed on Doctor Ah Ra. "Who is your ideal type amongst the doctors and why?" Nurse Seojin asked her. "My ideal type is doctor wonwoo. He is tall, handsome, and great at his work..." Everyone just wooed at her responses. Wonwoo wants to focus on the game despite his annoyance but the lady at the table in front of him caught his eyes. She was ducking her head awkwardly with a menu in her hands. He narrowed his eyes at the ring on her ring finger that looked awfully familiar. Then, he saw one of the waitresses come to her table. That is when she dropped the menu to talk with the waitress. She looked very hurried."Wonwoo it's your turn." He looked at them. "Huh?" Nurse Seojin goes again. "What nickname would you give to doctor Ji A?" Wonwoo's eyes travelled back to the familiar woman at the table in front and when the waitress moved, both of him and her eyes met. "Baby!" 

"Baby!" When Hana's eyes met Wonwoo, she knew she was busted. She waves awkwardly. Wonwoo spoke briefly at them before standing up and walked towards her. Before she said anything, he immediately hugged her. "Umm... Surprised..?" She giggled." When did you arrive?" He looked at her, grinning happily. "This afternoon..." He barked a laugh, "so when you called me earlier.." Hana grinned "I was on your bed.." Wonwoo shakes his head at her and leads her to his table. She looked at the people nervously. Not even wonwoo's hand behind her could soothe her nerves."Guys, this is my wife, Hana. Hana, this is my friend and colleague." She bowed to them "hello, I'm Hana, wonwoo's wife. Thank you for taking care of him while he is working at the hospital." Jeonghan waves "we met again, Hana..." Jihoon also put his hand's up, saying hi to her as they met before.

Hana sat next to Wonwoo. The woman next to him look at her with unreadable expression. "I never know you were married!" Seungkwan bellowed. "I thought everybody knows.. Mrs Jung knows too.. " wonwoo said as his hand wandered behind Hana's back. "How was your internship?" Jeonghan smiled at her. "It was great. I learned a lot at the hospital.." Hana mused. "No wonder wonwoo hides her. She is so pretty..." Soonyoung's word makes Hana hides her face to his side. “You are studying nurse, right? I hope I can work with you in the future,” Mrs Jung smiled fondly at her. “ I hope she can do her job very well then,” the woman next to her rudely. All of the people at the table looked uncomfortable at her statement. “ Oh! Since you never met us formally, this is Nurse Han Seo Jin and Doctor Ah Ra. Both of them worked in neurosurgery too,” Hana nodded in understanding and turned to Doctor Ah Ra. “It’s nice to meet you,”  Doctor Ah Ra rolled her eyes and just nodded as she drinks her soju.

Doctor Ah Ra keeps drinking her soju which makes all the people at the table become very nervous. The thing about doctor Ah Ra is, she is very outspoken but she can be much worse when she’s drunk. “ How did you guys meet?” Hana looked at Doctor Ah Ra.  “Oh, we were in the same school,” Doctor Ah Ra hummed. “So, you become a nurse because he is a doctor?” before Hana could retort her reason to be a nurse. “Are you stupid? You think that you can date while working if you do that?” Doctor Ah Ra snickered. Hana frowned. She doesn’t understand why this woman is attacking her. “I did not become a nurse because my husband is a doctor. I don’t get why you insinuate things, Doctor Ah Ra.” Doctor Ah Ra laughed bitterly. “I don’t get it. Why does he like you? Because you are cute? We all know cute girls are the most foxy ones. You are not even that pretty.” The others were rendered speechless by Doctor Ah Ra’s words. Hana could sense Wonwoo is heated with Doctor Ah Ra’s statement. “ Doctor Ah Ra, I think you should get home now. You drank too much..” His voice is low and serious. “ I don’t get it. Why don’t you like me back? I don’t care if you are married, you should be with me,” Hana was heated with Ah Ra’s childish words. “Are you even hearing what comes out of your mouth?” Doctor Ah Ra laughed. “Look, a lot of guys left their wife for me. It’s not my fault that they want me. Jeon Wonwoo, I don’t understand what is so attractive about her. Her look is just basic, and I doubt she is that intelligent-” The sudden bang shocked everyone. “ I don’t mind if you insult me but don’t insult my wife. You have crossed the line, Doctor Ah Ra. Excuse us, it is better for both of us to retire for the night. I’m sorry everyone,” Wonwoo stood up and gathered their things. Hana looked at the others, feeling bad for ruining their dinner. “I’m sorry for this Doctor Jeon,” Mrs. Jung looked at him, feeling guilty. He shook his head, “ No, It’s not your fault, Mrs.Jung. See you guys tomorrow,” 

“Are you okay,Wonwoo?” Hana sat down next to Wonwoo on the couch. “ I can’t believe Doctor Ah Ra has the nerve to say all of that. I thought that I didn’t drop hints that I was married and uninterested in her. It seems like she was ignoring those hints all along,” Wonwoo sighed. He used to feel so guilty when Doctor Ah Ra made moves on him, even though he, with the help of his other friends, did drop hints to her that he was uninterested and married. “It’s not your fault. It’s not like you give her false hope or anything. Some people choose to ignore things for their own happiness,” “Are you not mad or anything?” “ Why would I be angry about something that you can’t control? It’s not your fault that she falls for you. To be honest, I couldn’t get angry at her for falling for you but I am angry at her for not understanding boundaries,” Wonwoo hummed in understanding. “Anyway-” Hana quickly jumped on him, covering his face and neck with kisses. Wonwoo hauled in laughter. “You really miss me huh?” Hana kissed on the tip of his nose before answering. “ Of course. Who wouldn’t miss their husband, especially someone as hot as you?” Wonwoo grinned before flipping her on the couch. “Well, I guess I should give you all those loving that I missed during our last meeting,” 

“ Someone’s glowing,” Mrs. Jung grinned when she spotted Wonwoo walking to their circle. “I guess you have a good night,” Jeonghan lifted his eyebrow, teasing Wonwoo, making the man groan. “ Did he fu-” before the words leave Soonyoung’s mouth, Jihoon shoved the rice cakes into his mouth. “ Have some rice cakes, I brought when I was out of town for conference meeting,” Doctor Seungcheol from cardiology department pat Wonwoo’s back. “I heard about yesterday’s tea. I hope you will be fine today,” he smiled to assure Wonwoo. Before Wonwoo could say anything, Doctor Ah Ra made way for him. “ Doctor Jeon, can I talk to you for a minute?”. Wonwoo nodded before making her way to her office. “Have a seat,” She offered when they got into her office. “I’m fine. What is it?” He spoke coldly. Doctor Ah Ra sighed before apologizing. “ I apologize for yesterday. I guess I’m not good at handling things,” Wonwoo nodded without saying anything. “ I also hope to apologize to your wife directly. It was low on me for blowing my anger at her,” Wonwoo nodded before opening his mouth. “ I accept your apology. I hope we can work like before without any personal feeling attached,” . Hana was surprised when Doctor Ah Ra apologized to her directly when she was having lunch with Wonwoo. “ It is fine. I accept your apology,” she smiled softly at the woman. “ What I did was very wrong, so I am very sorry once again,” said Doctor Ah Ra before she dismissed herself. “ Did she really apologize?” Jeonghan ran and sat near the couple. “Yeah, why?” Wonwoo spoke as he finished chewing his food. “ Very surprised because she has a reputation,” Hana nodded, “ What reputation?” Wonwoo immediately cut, “ No need to worry baby,” Jihoon and Soonyoung came and sat at their table. “ Baby? Gross,” Jihoon snorted as he took a sip of his coke. Soonyoung grinned at Hana “ Hi, we meet again. I have a lot of questions to ask you,” Hana laughed at the man. “ Yeah, ask away” Soonyoung giggled when he got the approval before typing in his Tiger cased phone. “ Does Wonwoo love skinship?” Hana giggled before grinning deviously. “ He does look cold but he loves skinship. He is a very romantic guy despite his looks,” All of the boys wooed at the shy man who’s gaze was straight on his food. “ Ewww, tell me more!” Jihoon giggled. 

[thebadboyfanclub]

You Can Do Better (Rio x Reader)

Requested by anon, i’ve posted this for the third time and tumblr is being a fucking asshole to the point were i’m thinking of quitting this since every week I get a new way of them hiding my works. Enjoy it while it lasts

T.W. mentioning of attempted rape

(Y/n) had been Micks neighbor for a few months before the incident happened, this absolute dumpster was the only thing she could afford at the time, fresh out of college, in a foreign country without any family, but she was hoping to moving quickly. However, when Mick was coming home, he heard her screams and cries for help from the bottom of the stairs, he had seen her once or twice, even baked him cookies when he first moved in, she was nice and a quiet neighbor. 

He found (y/n) being held down by two men in masks and one of them try to rape her, she was begging and screaming, he almost acted on instict when he shot the guy in the back, the other tried to attack him and he also ended up with a bullet in between his eyes. (Y/n) thanked him and Mick had to stop her from calling the police. Instead they called Rio. He was met with two dead bodies, A girl in her torn pajamas shaking and crying and Mick trying to calm her down.

“Those motherfuckers”

Was all he said, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had gone down, Rio was a criminal and balls deep in despicable things, yet he was proud to say he had never laid hands on a woman nor a child. He kneeled in front of her, took a good look at her eyes, her entire body shaking as she looked at him, you could sense the trauma she had been through.

Rio had heard of her when Mick told him about this little girl next door that baked him cookies as a welcoming gift, he recalled how his friend laughed when he mentioned that the girl asked him his opinion about the next tattoo she wanted to get. Now this happy light hearted girl was replaced because two men thought they are superior.

“Hi sweetheart, I understand this is hard, we will take care of everything alright? You trust us?”

“I had locked the door, I was sleeping”

“I know sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault. We’ll take care of you ok?”

“Thank you”

-

Since Mick had vouched for her and Rio had seen her at her worst they felt obligated to take her under their wings, maybe even help her earn a little more money, get a good car, pay her bills comfortably, that sort of stuff. Until one day she asked to do more, get initiated

“Mama this isn’t the playground, we ain’t playing cops and robbers”

“I know, but you said I am learning quickly, why not teach me more?”

“Why you wanna do this? All of a sudden you feel like being a gangster? You were shaking in your shoes a few months ago”

“I’m done being your little child Rio, I want to hold my own. I will do this with or without you”

Rio looked at her with a serious face. She was growing, becoming fearless, ruthless, he had seen it coming, she was picking up more slack, asking more questions, she wanted to prove herself.

“You’re threating me mama?”

“And what if I am?”

She quickly not only proved herself, she became one of his most valuable members, she was his secret weapon, nobody would suspect a young little hotel receptionist being linked to them. She worked twice as hard and smarter than most if not all his men, advised him wisely and was always cool, calm and collected, she worked best under pressure. Scared little (y/n) felt like had never even happened, she was his soldier now, she had Micks status and Mick couldn’t be more proud, he had a soft spot for her.

“Hey mister policeman, Have some room for another criminal?”

She joked as she leaned at the door of her car, waiting for the new little boy toy to get out of the police station. Now the normal question is why is (y/n) around a police man, there is a two part answer to that. Great lover and also great cover, she was his little thing, so nobody would dare blame you for any crime, the girl of the police man being a gangster? it sounded like a joke.

“Depends on what crime we are talking about miss”

“I can think of a few, we can put those handcuffs to use”

As he approached her she smiled and took off her sunglasses. She looked amazing in her blue loose ripped jeans and a simple oversized white t shirt, a chain necklace around her neck and some nice rings on her fingers as her hair fell  in front of her breasts, wearing a pair of high heels to style it up.

How you doing gorgeous?”

“Oh you know, thriving and surviving. How about you, I thought you had a day off today”

“Yes but I got assigned to a new case”

“Ohhhh should I be concerned? any criminal on the loose?”

“Not really, we are trying to find a link for this Rio guy”

Jackpot, this couldn’t have gone better. She tried to contain her smile and leaned back on the door, acting like nothing had happened.

“Oh I think you’ve mentioned him before, what did he do now?”

“Lots of things but motherfucker always slips away, chief thinks he has someone on the inside”

“Like a dirty cop?”

“Yes, so he wants me to look into it”

“Look at you, leading a case... Sexy”

The guy smiled at her, he was completely fooled and hooked. She hadn’t told anyone about her plan of seducing him to get information, she didn’t need to up until this point, yet what she did not calculate was Rio seeing her outside the police station talking to a fucking cop, the outmost enemy and being all close and cozy to him, acting all buddy buddy in broad daylight.

“I’m glad you like it miss”

“There’s a lot of things I like about you baby, anyway I have to go, I have a shift to clock in to”

“I’ll see ya later?”

“Maybe. Bye handsome”

At that (Y/n) got in her car and drove away. Rio was pissed, the girl he trusted and the girl he wanted was flirting with a policeman, how could she? He trusted her, taught her everything he knew, gave her everything with generosity and she was becoming a cops whore? Of course it wasn’t just about flirting with a cop, it was flirting with someone that wasn’t him.(Y/n) was a charming woman, he found her extremely attractive and she was even better now with the confidence she had gained over time, she was a woman he craved, the woman he wanted to have on his side, a queen that could hold the keys to his kingdom. Now all this was slowly shattering, no there had to be an explanation and he couldn’t wait to hear it.

Of course he could not just appear at her workplace, she was gracious enough to arrange a room for him incognito when Beth shot him, yet they had to act like strangers so all he could do was wait for her. 

“Hey boss, sorry I’m late I had to take care of a few things”

“Like that cop friend of yours?”

She had barely closed the door of his office before he blurred it out, he had this whole plan of making her confess by herself, except when he saw her he lost control. Betrayal and confusion clouded his mind, as she stood there a bit dumbfounded for a quick moment before smirking at him.

“Stalking much?”

“I like to make sure my people are in line”

“Really? Is that why Beth is still walking around unharmed?”

He knew how much that had shook her up, (Y/n) took care of him almost as good as the doctor, she stayed with him until he fell asleep, helped him renew his bandages and anything else he needed, even though she never said it he was aware she was extremely concerned for him and he was grateful for her care, which made it even more complicated considering the fact that he was slowly becoming more addicted to her, needing and wanting more than she gave him.

“Let’s just cut to the shit, what were you doing there?”

“Talking”

“Talking? to a cop? what is this (y/n) huh?”

She sat in the chair calmly, any normal person would have either shit their pants or told him what they were planning right away. (Y/n) on the other hand found this amusing, she had grown tired of him doing things without considering the danger he was putting himself, especially when it came to Beth and the others, if it was anyone else they would have been six feet under the second Rio opened his eyes, now he had cut them in once again and had almost gotten Boss status.

 “Yes, one of your little ladies is married to a cop, what’s the issue with me talking then?”

“Last time I check you ain’t never flapped your gums to a fed”

“I don’t flap my gums Rio, I have conversations and if you really want to know he is my new boy toy. He also was the one that told me about your case, how the fuck do you think I got the information? By holding interviews?”

Rio didn’t know how to feel, she was still working for him, had used her privilege to get information for him that had saved him a lot of money, however the whole “boy toy” thing did not sit well, she liked him, she gave him her time and even though she was stringing him along, she still had him in her life.

“You did what you were supposed to do and you got rewarded, so why you still talking to him”

“Don’t start the bullshit Rio, I’m not your daughter nor your girl so why do you care who am i fucking with”

“Where’s your fucking respect to your boss (y/n)?”

“Respect? how about where’s the respect for yourself? You let the suburban moms do whatever the fuck they are doing and I’m getting shit for having sex and getting you info from the feds?”

He was pushing it, he knew that and he didn’t care, it was time to reveal his cards and she was going to do the same, whether she liked it or not. Rio leaned back on his chair, his hand rubbing his chin as he looked at her, sitting there and looking right back at him, she wasn’t lying he knew that, she had a point for the suburban moms and she had expressed her disapproval for the little thing that was going on between him and Beth. What he did not understand was if she didn’t like it cause she was a tad bit jealous or because it fucked with their money and reputation?

“You are something else you know that?”

“Yet you still question my methods, if I remember correctly I wasn’t the one that planted three bullets in you”

“You are scared of losing me mama?”

She did not respond, she just turned and looked away from him. Of course (y/n) had picked up his little flirty remarks from time to time, she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit she had thought of how he would be in bed, how his embrace would feel, his raspy voice was enough to start fantasies enough to make a book.

“Let’s say I am, what are you scared of Rio? Why do you care who I’m sleeping with?”

“He is a cop”

“A handsome cop, I’m sure you noticed how nicely that uniform was on him, let me tell you it’s even better when he sweats”

“I don’t need to hear it”

“Why? Does it bother you Christopher?”

She raised herself from the seat and placed her hands on the desk, leaning closer to him and making her breasts show just enough as her back curved in a perfect little S, she focused in his eyes as her tongue went over her upper lip. Rio got closer to her, his hand reached her face, as he held on to the side of her head and his thumb went over the lower lip.

“You’re not for him mama”

“Why not?”

“A woman like you is not for no goody two shoes, you can do better”

“Really? like who?”

They could feel each others breaths, their faces were almost touching as they both spoke in whispers, this conversation was not meant for no one else, they didn’t even have to speak as their body language was saying everything it needed to be said. She felt her breath become more swallow, his scent was getting her a tad bit flustered and so was hers to him.

 He wanted to take her right here and then, just the idea of her naked body was enough to drive him wild, her hair was so soft he could only imagine them stuck on her face from the sweat, the most amazing part was her lips, soft and full that made his mind go wild with the need to feel them in his lips and his body, the doors to her moans.

“I can show you better than I can tell you”

“Let’s get it then boss”

[andilovetowrite]

Punch To The Heart (Part 3)

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: After repeatedly blowing you off on plans, events and trips, you have finally had enough. But Peter soon regrets it as he sees the harsh reality of almost losing his best friend.

Based on a request, you can find it here!

Warnings: Shooting and violence. But nothing too graphic. Some angst and crying, but also a lot of fluff :)

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to find more of my work :)

Part 1

Part 2

We’ve got he--r

Stay with us Y/nnnn

Come on, try anythin--

Oh, thank go-

Words swam in and out of your head, floating in front of you and into your ears. Voices shouted from either side of you at some point. You could feel yourself slipping into some type of unconsciousness, with bright white light shining through your eyelids. You could hear Peter’s voice mix in with your parent’s voices. You could hear May’s voice, and through some type of veil, you could listen to Uncle Ben’s voice as well. Sure that you were hallucinating, you tried to open your eyes but blacked out before you could try….

You regained your consciousness at some point, your brain making sense that you could not move your body. Which meant you were unable to roll your eyes. But you could feel things. The blinding sorts of pain in your stomach and right thigh. The rough material of some type of gauze covering your entire lower body. Your back bare, with your front covered in a flimsy cloth. And for a quick moment, you thought you were back in the van, with kidnappers and terrorists. And the thought alone made you pass out again…

The last time that you woke up, you were hit with a multitude of sounds and noises. Carts being pushed, metal creaking, glasses clinking. You could hear voices as well. The soft drawl of some lady next to you, one that you vaguely remember. A comforting voice, one that you were familiar with because she woke you up in the mornings. Your mom. Another deeper voice was trying to calm her down—your dad. A worried, yet the firm say that you knew since you went to her house every other day. Aunt May.

But one specific voice was loud and clear to you. High, slightly cracked, chocked up. A voice that you could recognise even if you were half dead. A voice that you grew up with, a voice that was by your side for years. A voice that now seemed to be crying softly from the other side of the room.

So with whatever energy you had left in you, you opened your eyes and whispered. “Peter”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Peter”, Peter said, shocked, staring at your body. “Did she just say, Peter?”

The doctor nodded, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Yes, she did, I believe. Are you her boyfriend? Or a family member?”

Peter shook his head, still staring dumbfounded at you. “I’m her best friend.”

The doctor sighed. “Alright, well, here is what we know so far-”

“Wait, shouldn’t Mr and Ms Y/L/N be here? To get an update on their daughter?“Peter interrupted, trying to see where they were. The doctor sighed again.

“They had to go to a business meeting and told me that a lady named May Parker would be her guardian until they return in a couple of weeks.”

Peter’s mouth flew open. “They left her?”

The doctor nodded, looking at you sadly. “Yes, they did, but I will send them daily updates about how she is doing.”

Peter licked his dry lips, suddenly realising how parched his throat was. “Here, drink some water, and I’ll tell you how she is.” Peter took the plastic cup from him, drinking it down.

“So first of all, she is getting better. Our team of doctors had predicted that she would likely be in a coma for the next few days, but she has regained consciousness, and her fluids are good. Her internal organs are getting stronger, and hopefully, if all goes well, she should wake up for good in the next day or two.”

The doctor read his papers, nodding politely at Peter, who was visibly calmer. The doctor looked at his watch, tutting softly. “It’s late. I would advise you to go home. Get a couple of hours of sleep. You can come back in the afternoon.”

Peter looked out, confused when he saw the starting rays of sunshine come in through the window. He was so tired that he didn’t realise that he had been in the hospital for 9 hours. Peter looked at you, weighing his options. As if the doctor could sense what was going on in his head, he patted Peter’s back. “Visiting hours have been over since 3 am. But it opens up again at 11. Go and rest for a bit. It’ll do you good.” Peter averted his eyes to you again before he nodded, kissing your cold forehead lightly before he walked out, hoping to get some sleep or rest.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He didn’t get any sleep. Usually, if he couldn’t, he would call you or swing over to your house. Well, not usually. Ever since he started dating MJ, he wouldn’t even go to your home. And MJ never let him come over in the night, too paranoid that her parents would find Peter. Oh, and forget about patching him up after patrol. She would get sick at the sight of Peter’s bruises and injuries. One time, he even had to swing to the compound because he had been shot.

None of that would have happened if he had just been a good friend. Been a good best friend. If only he had not fought with you that day, not ignored you, then you wouldn’t be in the hospital with pipes going in and out of you.

Peter couldn’t shake his fear and paranoia, creeping out of his bed quietly, to not wake up May. Slowly walking to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror. Bloodshot eyes stared back at him. He ran his fingers through his hair, wincing slightly. Tears slipped down his face, little by little as he tried to imagine how worried you might have been. Soon, he couldn’t see anything, as salty tears fell into the sink infront of him. “Oh god, Y/N”, he said, voice cracking. He dejectedly went back to his room, grabbing his suit. Instinctively, he pulled it on, opening his window slightly. Jumping out the window, he didn’t even know where he was going. Somehow, he ended up back at the hospital, looking into your window. It was open, letting in the warm air into your room. He sighed, letting the mask fall off his face. He let the wind go through his curls, feeling it dry the lines of water on his face. Suddenly, he heard some noise from your window. Looking closer, he saw your eyes flicker open, and your voice walf over to him.

“You can come in, you know? Everybody has gone to sleep…”, you said, your voice cracked and scratchy from not using it. Peter just stood still for a couple seconds, too shocked to move.

You were alive! And speaking to him…

Jumping in, he landed softly, not wanting to cause a scene. “He-hey”, Peter said, stuttering. You smiled at him, tiredness showing on your features.

“Hey Peter, are you okay?”, you asked, eyes going over his own, how disheveled he looked.

“You-I, I’m not the biggest thing you should worry about Y/N! You-you were shot. Twice. How-I don’t-wha-”

You reached out to him, wincing as you moved your arm. Peter noticed this, running over to you. “Don’t-don’t do that, you can hurt yourself”, he said, worry evident in his eyes.

You sighed, sitting back. “Pete, why don’t you change out of the suit. I don’t want nurses to walk by and see Spiderman in my room… especially if you don’t have a mask.”

Peter nodded, pressing the small button on his suit that made it shrink up, revealing his clothes underneath. Peter didn’t say anything, but walked over to you, hands in his pockets.

“How are you feeling?”, Peter asked, sitting down gingerly at the side of your bed. You shrugged, not knowing what to say. A few minutes passes, the silence becoming suffocating. Almost simultaneously, you both said.

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry”

Looking at Peter, you saw him staring at you indercously.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Why are you sorry?”

Again, you both shut your mouths, and as easily as you could, you gestured to Peter to say something. “Why-why are you sorry? I’m the one who put you in danger Y/N! Yo-you could’ve died.”Peter rambled, eyes starting to glisten as he looked at your body, how those men had hurt you. “I-if I had just not fought with you, then you wouldn’t have walked out of the school, and I wouldn’t have had to give you the bag, and then they wouldn’t have targetted you. Y/N, I’m the reason you are in the hospital. I can’t-yo-you got so badly hurt, I can-no” By this time, the dam inside Peter had broken, as tears started streaming down his face.

You could feel your own throat start to close up, so you did the only thing you could think of. You opened your arms up, letting Peter crawl in. He kept his weight off you, so not to hurt you even more. You ran your fingers up and down his back, calming him down.

“It’s alright, Peter. I would have them rather come for me than yo-”

“No”, Peter said firmly, trying to mask the crack in his voice. “Don’t say that. You are far more important than me, you can’t even wish that Y/N”

You smiled sadly. “Peter, the world needs Spiderman. They don’t need me…”

“No no no”, Peter said, making you look at him. “So many people need you Y/N”

“No, they don’t, Pete. My parents don’t care. I mean, they aren’t here, are they? What is it this time? A business trip?”

Peter tried to object, but he knew that you wouldn’t believe him. “I-I need yo-”

“And don’t say that you need me, because you had no problem spending time with M-”

“I broke up with her”, Peter said hurriedly, wanting to get it out as soon as possible.

You nodded, feeling guilty as a small part of you rejoiced. “Good for you”, you said, emotionless. An awkward silence enveloped the air around you two again, but this time, it became too much. Out of nowhere, you started crying, choked hiccups and sobs coming from your throat.

“Y/N!”, Peter said, smoothening your hair.

“I-I’m sorry. I was just so sc-scared and I was sure I was going to die, and I just can’t do-” You said, hugging yourself softly, as you looked at him through blurry eyes. And you didn’t have to say anything before Peter hugged you closer, the last thing you saw was his brown irises before you dropped to sleep…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr Lee walked around the hall, looking at the different rooms before he reached Y/N Y/L/N’s room, and he had to clean his glasses twice to see what he think he saw. Hugging you, with your legs intertwined, was Peter. Your face snuggled into his chest, his arms were looped around you, holding you close. What was the most astonishing thing was how even your breathing and charts were. No patient who had ever gotten shot would’ve recovered so quick, but he could see something was different.

Carefully opening the door, he quietly watched as Peter stirred, eyes flickering open as he drowsily smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before falling back asleep.

Dr Lee sighed, smiling at them. “Oh, they are obviously in love….”

Ooh, I really liked this part! Anyway, thank you for reading this, and the next (and last) part will be out later this week, possibly on Friday or Saturday. If you want to be tagged in the next part of the following fics, please just respond to this one telling me that. Until next time👋👋

Tagged: @a--1--1--3 @idkatee @eternalscribblesforthesoul @loudbluepancake @poisondevotion @scram1326 @t-hollanderr @305weasley @starknik22 @marvelfansworld @lou-la-lou @lomlparker @marvelfansworld @wowitsel @vanteguccir @fullcheesecakeengineer

[giorno-plays-piano]

Yandere alien Bucky x astronaut darling

I find this request very unique! I’ve never actually thought about this before, so thank you for bringing this creative idea <3

P.S. The action takes place in the future.

The Reason

Pairing: alien!Bucky Barnes x astronaut!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, death of minor characters, allusion to breeding and non-con.

Words: 2985.

_____________________

When you finally managed to open your eyes, everything was pitch black for a couple of minutes. Your body hurt so much as if someone threw you into a well, then pulled your dead body out, and threw it back in. The oxygen mask on your face felt heavy as hell.

You easily recognized the monotonous sounds of life support system since it wasn’t your first space mission. Damn, what had happened? Did you finally get that significant brain damage Dr. Strange was so concerned about? You didn’t remember blacking out so violently after your last spaceflights. This one wasn’t even your longest.

When you saw the room, you stared at the unnaturally high ceiling that you couldn’t blame on your blurry vision. It just didn’t look the same. Did they move the Adaptation Center to a new building or something? Did Dr. Strange mentioned it before? You couldn’t remember, really. You didn’t think he did.

Despite the fact that you felt weightless, moving your body seemed nearly impossible as you struggled to move your legs. Shit, and there you thought those magic drugs NASA offered you last time were way better than their usual treatments. 

Wait. You didn’t finish your mission. You weren’t returning to Earth yet as you had around 6 more months to spend in space. Had something happened? Did Dr. Str-

Oh yes. Dr. Strange was dead. You still remembered his face when Sergeant Barnes, an extraterrestrial from Theseus-17, had shot him right in front of you.

When you saved them from their greatly damaged spacecraft, it was five of them: Steve Rogers, the Captain, their leader; Tony Stark, the Pilot; Bruce Banner, the Doctor; Vision, the Pastor, and James Buchanan Barnes, the Soldier. All of them simply used human analogues of their true names, but the members of your crew didn't protest: since Theseus-17 was incredibly far even for your highly technologically advanced spaceships, you knew very little of its inhabitants. Apparently, they attempted to establish a good relationship between your races - especially since you had so much biological similarities. In fact, they might be the closest to humans among other species you had ever encountered before, you thought.

Well, it was true, but you failed to see they would use it to their advantage to the fullest.

They were a militaristic alien race with predominantly male population controlled by stratocratic government. Their planet was three times smaller than Earth, but their technological advancement was unbelievable, especially compared to human's: it allowed them to invade several other small planets and colonize them in the past. However, due to some extreme DNA mutations, their female population was declining decade after decade resulting in zero births over the last five years. The Hydrarirans, as they called themselves, were rapidly facing extinction, Steve told you while explaining the reasons why they were so far from their home.

You had a pretty long talk after Bucky had shot Dr. Strange, and Tony strangled Wong. You barely remembered what had happened next, though you could guess you ended up being drugged by Hydrarians. Fuck. Did you send a signal back to Earth? You couldn't tell. Well, you certainly remembered Dr. Strange sending a message about saving the crew of Theseus-17 spacecraft. If you went missing, it would be a clear sign of something going very wrong.

But you still were God knew where. Gradually becoming extremely nervous with each passing second, you looked at the countless wires attached to your body and started to pull, forcefully taking them out of your skin and silently crying - you didn't remember feeling so much pain since the times of your first space mission. Violently throwing away the oxygen mask, you crawled on the bed until you fell to the floor with a loud thud. Shit.

You stayed there for a couple of minutes, afraid Hydrarians would quickly discover what you were doing, but since you heard nothing, you crawled further from bed to a wide glass wall, your vision still blurry. Where were you? It didn't feel like a spacecraft. It felt like you were brought to an unknown planet, and when you saw two red suns shining in the black sky, you realized it was exactly like Steve described his planet to you.

No, no, it couldn't be. Theseus-17 was God knew how many light years away. Their ship wasn't in the condition to fly you there so fast, yours even less so, and you certainly hadn't been put in a cryostasis. However, how well did you know what technology these alien freaks possessed? What if they could be using some teleport able to cover enormous distances? It could easily be an option.

Crawling further to the window, you had finally reached it and touched its cold surface. It certainly looked and felt like a glass beneath your palm.

The black meadows you stared upon were nothing like the ones you saw from a window of the little house where you spent your childhood. This place was wicked, evil. You could feel it in the air as you inhaled that strange, sickly sweet oxygen or whatever it was. No wonder their women couldn't handle living here, and you wouldn't last here either. It was clear what you were brought here for, and even the thought of it was repulsive to you. How dare they? How barbaric were these freaks, intending to use human women as some breeding machinery? If their military experiments made them facing extinction, then let it be, you thought, horrified and disgusted at the same time.

You rubbed your droopy eyes, feeling the wetness on the back of your palm as you tried not to cry, thinking what were your options except to submit silently to your abductors. How were you going to navigate a ship back home? How were you going to steal a ship? Actually, how were you going to leave this damn room, considering that your body was almost unable to move because of the time you spent in space? Recovery would take quite some time, unless Hydrarians had advanced medical support for cosmonauts. You hoped they did, because spending months to recover while staying with these savages wasn't an option.

Huh, it was better to listen to your mom and become a doctor. Now you'd be sitting in your cabinet and listening to concerns of elderly ladies, not being locked away on a planet with no female population. You had hard times imagining what they would do to you if you end up being thrown in a crowd of mad men yearning for intimacy for years.

Rubbing your eyes again, you exhaled loudly. You were in deep, deep shit.

When the white wall beside you suddenly moved to the side, allowing a tall, menacing man in a black military suit to enter, you held your breath, watching Sergeant Barnes walking into the room. You thought of his metal hand with a red star engraved on it - he could snap your neck with one swift motion if he wanted to, though he could probably do it with his flesh hand, too. Certainly, he was both skilled in combat and cybernetically enhanced, so escaping with him guarding you would be extremely problematic. You'd prefer to meet Vision instead of the grim Soldier.

"What are you doing, woman?" Barnes asked as he saw you on the floor with your back pressed to the glass wall, your arms bleeding from violently tearing the wires of the life support system out of your body. Apparently, you didn't look as good as he expected you to.

"A woman has a name." You said sternly, watching one of your abductors marched through the room and trying your best not to tremble. If he was raised in a stratocratic society, he valued power and strong will more than anything else, probably, so you had to pull yourself together.

“I am sorry.” He suddenly said, bowing his head as he stood right in front of you. “If it pleases you, I will refer to you by your name only, Y/N.”

You blinked, your vision still unfocused and blurry - a part of you was thankful for that since you couldn’t see Soldier’s face clearly. You doubted he looked very friendly, despite talking to you with some respect.

“Don’t touch me.” You commanded as he leaned closer to take you back to bed, his shiny combat boots touching your bare leg just slightly, making you shiver involuntarily.

“We have medication to nurse you back to health, but you still need the life support system. Please, do not resist.” Sergeant Barnes once again tried to pick you up, but you grabbed him by the wrist instead, silently staring at his pale face half-covered by that black mask he wore.

The man got silent and froze on the spot, looking at you with a strange glint in his eyes. He certainly didn’t seem menacing or angry, but there was something in him you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Why wasn’t he upset by your behavior? Soldier didn’t try grabbing you forcefully, nevertheless.

Could it be your contact, then? You might be the first woman to touch him in years. Thinking of it, the very next moment you recoiled, crawling away to increase the distance between you two.

Maybe the man was disappointed, but you couldn’t see it with that blank expression he wore as he suddenly sat down on the floor close to you, and then took his mask away, showing you his rather handsome, yet gloomy face. He looked... human, and it truly scared you. 

“I know you think we are a threat to you, but we are not.” He said calmly, watching you. “I will not hurt you. I promise.”

You were ready to laugh at that. “You’ve killed my crew, people who I’d been working with for years.”

“Yes, and I am sorry for that. It was necessary.”

Necessary. What an interesting word he found to describe what he and his comrades had done.

“Don’t you understand what will happen once people from Earth learn about you and things you did?” As he cocked his head to the side, his dark uneven hair falling on his shoulder, you realized he wasn’t scared at all. “We can wipe you out of existence. Even if all of your kind are soldiers, there are billions of us, humans. You aren’t a threat.”

“We are not trying to be one.”

He extended his hand in attempt to touch you, but you recoiled and crawled away a bit further, narrowing your eyes at Sergeant. Whatever he was doing, it couldn’t be good for you.

“Please, do not be afraid. Right now you are the most precious being on our planet, and anyone trying to hurt you will be beheaded at the very least.” 

Of course, you were. If Captain told you the truth, you were the one and only young woman on Hydra. You would be treasured, but you dreaded what they would do to you. Even thinking of it made you face twist in revulsion.

“What makes you think using me like a cattle won’t hurt me?”

“A cattle?”

For a few seconds Soldier got silent, and you realized he was searching the meaning of this word - now you managed to see a strange device on his ear that looked like an old Bluetooth garniture or something. Then the man looked at you with a surprised expression on his face, and you felt an urge to bite your tongue to stop thinking how human he appeared now.

“I assure you, you will never be degraded to such an inferior being. On the contrary, we can give you anything you wish for. I know the status of women on Earth is still far from being equal to men’s, but you are godlike to us.”

Carefully lifting his hand again, Barnes had took a shiny black glove from his flesh arm and showed you his hand with five fingers, spreading them for you to see he was as human as you. For the first time you felt like you wanted to cry, and bit down on your lower lip. God, why? Why did he look just like any other man? Why was he trying to seem kind to you? It would be so much easier if he was hurting you, pressing your face into the floor and binding your arms.

“I swear to you on the name of my mother, I will do anything in my power to make you happy.” 

Apparently, it was some sacred oath, judging by the way his cold blue eyes gleamed, but you weren’t buying it. Make you happy? The one and only thing he could do was letting you go back home, to your own kind, and allow you to forget what had happened above your ship, the image of Dr. Strange with a wide hole in his chest still making you clench your fists.

“Why are you so sure we are a good substitute? If your own women weren’t able to survive here, what makes you think human females can?”

“Because our extensive research proves it. Moreover, a couple of human females have already been living here for several years.” Your face became distorted with horror at his words. “Captain’s wife was even able to give birth to two healthy children this year. They are the first children to be born on our planet in the last five years.”

“Humans will destroy your planet. They will kill all of you when they learn you’re kidnapping our women!”

“We are already in contact with your kind.” Dropping the glove to the floor, Barnes attempted to smile at you, confirming your suspicions he barely knew how to do it. “It is true, you are much greater in number than we are. But all of us are warriors with far more advanced technology and abundant resources. We will be able to damage your planet heavily before you eradicate each and every of us.”

The more he talked, the harder it was to follow - without the life support system, the lack of oxygen was making it harder for you to breathe, impossible to focus as you started breathing heavier, louder than before, but still refused to come back to bed, staring at the man in front of you with disgust and fear. God, it was better to suffocate than stay here with him.

“Do you know we possess twenty times more the amount of Vibranium you humans do?” Crawling closer to you like a spider, Soldier was watching you with both great interest and concern written all over his face. “We also have tritium and plutonium, too, as well as minerals you do not have on Earth at all. We are ready to trade them for something humans have in abundance.”

You were close to vomit, your eyes tearing up as you rubbed them furiously. You tried convincing yourself no one knew you were going to be captured by ruthless aliens. Of course, no one on Earth knew anything about that. There was no agreement between Theseus-17 and Earth to trade women for Vibranium and other resources. It would be direct violations of human rights and...

And it was very likely of humans to do, considering the lack of resources you had been facing over the last couple of decades.

When you started weeping, horrified of the things awaiting you in the nearest future, Sergeant finally reached you, wiping away your tears with his flesh hand. His touch was very subtle, gentle even, as he tenderly pressed his finger to your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin. His hand was warm, too.

“It’s not true.” You cried, turning your face to the glass wall and leaving wet marks on it. “They’ll come for me... I won’t become s-some shared property.”

“Of course you will not,” he shushed you gently, enveloping you in what seemed like a hug, lowering your head to his shoulder. “You will be a queen to me. I will treat you right, I swear.”

“You?”

Stilling, you bit down on your tongue, feeling the metallic taste filling your mouth as you drew some blood. Concentrating when your brain was lacking oxygen wasn’t easy, but you could still breathe, inhaling deeply, trying to calm yourself. He said something about Captain’s wife, didn’t he? He said she gave him two children. He said you wouldn’t become a shared property.

Dear Lord.

“I won’t be yours.” You whispered through tears, pushing the man’s chest in desperate attempt to keep him away from you. “I’m not your possession. I won’t be yours!”

You saw him frowning at you, his expression growing darker, more impatient, enraged even as you crawled away from him, your legs too weak to hold you. Oh, he didn’t like you looking at him like that when you realized you were given to him like some prize he won in an amusement park.

But Soldier wasn’t having it. Had you ever thought what it cost him to spend years in combat to earn his privileges, his right to travel among the best of the best? Did you know how much time he travelled across multiple universes to find exactly what he was searching for? Huh, you couldn’t even imagine what he felt when the team got coordinates of your ship, when he saw you for the first time on hologram, smiling and laughing at jokes of Dr. Strange.

Grabbing you forcefully and lifting you off the floor, he raised you in the air above his head, making you silent in fear of being smashed against the floor.

“I have fought for you.” He let out a guttural growl like an animal. “I have killed for you. I have earned my privilege to have you, and no one can challenge my right. You are my woman, and you will stay here with me.”

________________________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower​ @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @soleil-dor @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @iheartsebastianstan ​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @ninefuckingoneone

[sukiglycerin]

it’s too cold outside for angels to fly || katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: pro-hero!katsuki bakugou x angel quirk!reader (gender neutral!)

* genre: fluff, angst, actually sfw (wow, luna's can do that?!)

* words: 8.1k (it’s a big baby!)

* warnings: mentions of trauma, reader is insecure but it's not their entire personality, therapy (not a lot of scenes with it), slight intoxication, mentions of throwing up (not much), like one suggestive joke, (light) cussing because bakugou

* original request: All I’m saying is reader with a angel quirk and the reader even has wings AND ANGST (but happy at the end 🥺) WITH BAKUGOU sounds so good 😔 but of course if you don’t want to do that it’s fine no pressure 💕

* a/n: hi 'nonnie! i hope you like you like this! honestly, it turned out longer than i expected (twice the length lol) but i'm proud of this baby. i'd like to note that enko, the nickname bakugou calls reader means 'halo' in japanese and can double down as a name, and an important reminder not to take any advice from the therapy in this fic. i am not a professional therapist, and please seek advice for situations specific to yours. the name of the fic is inspired by a lyric from ed sheeran's 'a-team,' but i promise it's not that dark. thanks so much to @toishi​ and the amazing feedback from @dylanxmin​ for beta-reading this! hope you enjoy!

* synopsis: you were your parents' perfect angel. you listened, and you followed. you didn't become a pro-hero, you stayed inside per your parents' request. it was okay if you couldn't fly; or, at least it was, before katsuki bakugou came along...

your grandmother loved pastries. that’s why you were here, trekking through the cold city in the tokyo winter. you shivered everytime your feathers came in contact with the frigid air, as if they, too, cowered under the looming shadows of tall buildings and bright lights.

so many people roamed the sidewalks, yet any bodily warmth was gone. you regretted not buying a cover for your wings - surely, it'd be an investment despite the price. wing covers were rarely manufactured for your size in japan, mainly aimed for small children just developing a quirk. the extra cloth needed for adult wing covers as well as shipping costs jacked up the price, making you hesitant to buy them. your wings were folded against the outside of your coat (putting them inside gave you cramps), nuzzling against your back subconsciously for heat. your wings were a pale cream colour, slightly more vibrantly mustard-coloured at the tips, and were the most visible part of your quirk.

according to the doctor, your quirk was "angel," but it felt nothing more than a pet name. there was a time in your life that you adorned a halo, but it no longer hovered above you when you looked up now. you weren't granted much power with your quirk; you were barely able to fly with your wings, but maybe you had a stronger moral compass than others? the wings, at this point in your life, were just accessories, as useless as the appendix. they could only cause you pain. you walked mindlessly toward the bakery, snow flurries dotting your hair. the bakery was a rundown, easy to miss place; you would've missed it if you hadn't gone there so many times. the faded yellow paint on the exterior was peeling, the poster on the window ripped and advertising for summer deals from years back. it had only a word-of-mouth reputation to rely on.

there was a worn sticker on the door, right at eye level, which said the name of the bakery in loopy letters: 'the flour road.'

you swung the door open with a jingle, greeted by the scent of baking bread and warmth. the bakery was your grandmother's favorite, specializing in rice cakes and dorayaki. she loved the pastries, for some reason - the baklava especially. she sent you on an errand to buy her some, giving you extra money to buy your personal favorite of dorayaki. to be exact, she pushed the money into your hands and forced you to buy a dorayaki for yourself. it was still warm when the cashier handed you your boxes, which you gingerly put in the bag.

you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the cold, before you opened the door and found yourself back in the cold winter.

a hand roughly pulled you into an alley, and you found yourself face to face with a masked figure.

"give me your money." the figure pointed to your purse, tugging it.

"i don't- i don't-" you reach to take off your purse, not questioning it. there was simply nothing you could do; besides, the voice was young enough. what if they were simply going through a rough time in life? that was no cause to-

"OI, DUMBASS, WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" a spiky haired man appeared suddenly, wearing what appeared to be melons on his arms. you suddenly recognized his getup of black, orange, and green; he was a pro-hero. what was his name? zero gravity? zero gr...ass?

"LADY, MOVE ASIDE." he looked you over. "FLY, OR SOMETHING."

"i can't-" but he was already after the thief. it took him less than 30 seconds to capture the thief; he was fast by himself, but was faster when propelled by his explosions.

"well, why are you here still?" he turned to you, the figure from before slung over his shoulder.

"i can't fly," you blurted.

he blinked. "then walk. besides, you literally have-" the figure moaned over his shoulder. "agh, nevermind, gotta take this douche to the police. go home."

the next you see of the explosive melon hero is at a supermarket. his arms are melonless this time, though, and you're not actually sure if he's the melon hero. you only recognize him by his hair and red eyes, but truthfully, it was probably not him. he was muttering something about "the spice not being spicy enough," and "stupid hair-for-brains nagging about the heat."

you felt a finger poke your wings. "hey miss, you have ugly wings." a stubby boy, no more than 5 or 6, looked up at you. smirking, he pushed his own smaller wings out, hands on his hips. "mine are teal-turquoise! yours are boring white."

"uh, okay-"

"mind your damn business, brat. where are your parents?" you could now confirm that the spiky haired man was indeed the melonhero by his voice and vulgarity. melonhero had turned to the kid, standing by your side.

the kid hmphed and walked away, to where his mother scolded him for straying from her.

"you again?" melonhero turned to you. "you really need to learn how to stand up for yourself."

"eh? i was handling it fine!"

"yeah, sure. what’s up with your wings, anyway?" he grunted. "can’t fly?"

"n-no. they're, uh, too weak." it was something hard to admit out loud for you. all winged people could fly, but you couldn't even hover, your wings just flapping up wind.

"too weak?! eh? is that even possible??" he poked one of your feathers. "they seem sturdy enough to me."

you turn your wings away from him, frowning. "it's not that easy. i-i never really had time to learn..."

"isn't that what all kids do in their free time, though? experiment with their quirk?"

"my parents thought it was useless..." you shuffled your feet awkwardly, eyes downcast.

"WORTHLESS?!" you flinched at his sudden volume. "it's your quirk, though, 'wings'?"

you rubbed the back of your neck. "well, not really... it's...." angel. the word echoed in your mind, under the spotlight on a stage. it stared at you in an empty auditorium. 'angel.' the word had negative connotations for you. to others, it was a sweet, innocent nickname, but to you, it meant more.

it represented the weight of your parents' expectations, the burden of your classes' assumptions. it became a ball and chain, reminding you of who you were, who you were supposed to be, and who you could never become. you were your parents' angel, your parents' little light. nothing else.

"'angel,' eh?"

"huh?" did melonhero suddenly manifest a mind-reading quirk? you look at him, but his gaze is above your head.

"halo."

"halo," you repeated, looking dumbly at the flickering ring above you.

"well then, enko, it's nice to meet you," he smirked.

"i'm not enko- i'm y/n-"

"enko’s better. i'm ground zero, the number one pro-"

"melonhero," you blurted.

"HUH?! what's that, moron?!"

"nothing, sorry, continue-" you apologized. what had gotten into you?

ground zero cleared his throat. "-number one pro-hero! ...it's katsuki bakugou to you."

"bakugou, i'm y/n l/n, nice to meet you! oh, and um- where are my manners? -thank you for the other day."

"don't go giving your purse to random men on the street, dumbass."

"it wasn't like that!" you protested. "i mean, what if he was going through a rough time? or, his parents kicked him out-"

"doesn't justify anything. you're so naive," he grunted. "didn't your parents teach you self-defense or anything?"

"w-well, no, not really..." you mumbled. you'd always just been their angel, delicate and thoughtful. you never wanted to disappoint them; always staying inside to clean or cater to their needs. their perfect angel. in their opinion, villains could never touch you if you never went out.

you recalled a time in your youth when deciding on a high school.

"i wanna go to ua!" you'd said. you knew a teacher willing to recommend you, so you didn't need to worry about much.

"honey, no, you can't be a hero..." your father started. "you're an angel, you're our angel, okay?" 

your mom nodded. "it'll be dangerous, angel, and we can't have you getting hurt day after day," she added.

you simply agreed, not wanting to upset your parents. they were always right. being a hero wasn't worth it, anyway, you told yourself. it was an unstable job. you'd entered a private high school near the coast of japan, instead of ua.

"eh?! well, how are you supposed to fend for yourself alone?!" bakugou exclaimed.

"i'm... supposed to stay at home..." you confessed quietly.

"then why are you here?!"

"...i moved away from my family."

"and you didn't learn to protect yourself? get yourself some pepper spray, idiot!" bakugou grabbed your wrist, abruptly leading you to an aisle with pepper spray in it. he briefly paused, then picked one.

"it's on me. i can't have more morons like you to save when you could save yourself." 

"thank you," you said. in all of his vulgarity, bakugou was semi-decent. you wondered why he was so on edge constantly; perhaps it was a trait from being a high-demand hero.

"HEY!" bakugou yelled, making you jump in place. "whatcha smilin' at?!"

you wiped the small grin that subconsciously crept on your face. "n-nothing."

"tch, so quiet, enko." he looked above you. "halo’s gone? fuckin' weird-ass quirk."

"could you... um... nevermind." you originally wanted to ask him to tone down the swearing, but thought better of it. the vulgarity reminded you of your uncle, and you a gagged at the thought of the disgusting man who'd occasionally crash at your family's home completely wasted.

"what? just spit it out," bakugou said. "i don't get offended, unlike deku or something."

"can you... cut down on the swearing?" you ask, then add more quickly when you see his face. "i mean, it's okay if you wanna keep doing it. i can't stop you. y'know, freedom of speech and everything."

"okay," he said with surprising composure. he didn't question the request, instead looking at you intently.

your gaze was set down, trying not to think of your uncle, and the horrors you'd gone through as a child because of him.

"i- um- sorry," bakugou forced out of himself. "i didn't mean t-"

"don't worry," you smiled cheerily. a fake smile, but you tried to convince yourself it was real.

"d'you-" he coughed, "d'you wanna talk about it?" he seemed to be going through something in his mind. "there's a park nearby - god, what did hitomi say? - we can, uh, talk it out? you can vent."

"oh no, it's fine, you're busy, a pro-hero." you said nervously.

"ah- yeah," bakugou seemed to be flustered too. "my therapist though- uh, she's really damn good- i mean, really good-" he pulls out a wallet from his pocket and sifts through cards. "here." he handed you a business card, advertising 'HITOMI YABUKI' in bold.

you blinked at him and accepted the card reluctantly. pro-heroes were really kind at heart, huh? "is she a pro-hero therapist?" you asked.

"her? no, she does other stuff. normal stuff, trauma, quirk stuff, erm- whatever you need. she's an all-rounder."

"oh." you put the card in your pocket. "okay, thank you."

he grunted, accepting the thanks. "need to buy anything else?"

you glanced at your cart. "no, that's all. thanks for everything, bakugou-"

"i'll pay," he blurted. "for it all." he looks surprised at himself, perhaps even angry. "oh, no thank you-"

"i'll do it. i mean it. you didn't even buy much," he muttered.

"o-okay," you said. he snatched your cart from your hand, walking to a self-checkout.

"weren't you gonna buy anything?" you asked.

"eh?!" he grunted while scanning items.

that was the end of the conversation. once he finished, he swiped his card and handed you a bag.

"make sure you use the damn pepper spray."

it was only once you got home that you realized he slipped his number into one of the bags.

you see bakugou again at hitomi yabuki's therapy lobby. he sat casually, earbuds on as he stared at his phone. you debated sitting next to him and decided against it, not wanting to bother him. you didn’t contact his number yet; your hands sweated at the thought. as much as you were tempted, you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of a pro-hero.

you found yourself staring at the man, who was unusually calm at the moment. you stared at his eyelashes, his eyes, down to his nose and lips, and his firm set jaw. your eyes fell to the phone he’s clutching, to the curve of his fingers and uniform nails.

"l/n y/n?" a tall woman called your name. bakugou looked up at you, and for a split second you could see what looked like a genuine smile before it was twisted into a smirk.

"yes!" you stood up and followed her, glancing back at bakugou before he disappeared from your sight. after a short elevator ride, you walked out onto the third floor.

she led you down a short, carpeted hallway to the last door. it was an opaque glass door that said "hitomi yabuki" on a plaque.

"so, what brings you here?" she finally said once the two of you were seated. "um- bakugou?" you said.

she smiled and jotted something down. "is that so?"

"yeah. we met a couple times by accident, and uh, he gave me your business card."

the rest of the session was just introductions - prices, meeting times, and therapy that can be provided. still, you weren’t really sure if you needed the therapy - maybe it’d be suited more for someone else struggling more than you. you didn’t need to use your quirk much; flying wasn’t much your style anyway. what would your parents think if they found out you were taking therapy? they’d surely be hurt, assuming that they didn’t provide a good childhood to you. you could practically hear your mom asking you why you’d waste money on therapy. you took a deep breath as you re-entered the lobby. bakugou was seating in the same place you last saw him, still on his phone. you bid goodbye to the receptionist, thinking out your decisions. your insurance could cover much of the costs for the therapy, but you still wondered if you should spend the money.  these thoughts trailed you as you waited on the sidewalk for a cab, watching your breath billow in front of you.

"hey, enko."

your elbow shot out by instinct, hitting the invader of your thoughts.

"woah, idiot, it’s just me." luckily, bakugou had caught your stray elbow, chuckling to himself. "so the angel does know self-defense, eh?"

you stiffened at the pet name, though you knew bakugou meant well. you could remember each distinctive voice in your childhood. your parents beckoning: angel. your nickname: angel. how everyone saw you: angel. you could never escape it, not with your halo or wings. it was so distinctive, your defining quality. whether he noticed the shift in your posture, he didn’t say. "how was it? hitomi’s great, right?"

you hummed in response, rubbing your wings together for heat.

"are wings supposed to get cold? aren’t they just... feathers?"

your wings ruffled at the comment. you sniffed. "they’re sensitive."

"weird," bakugou muttered under his breath. for a split second, you considered smacking him with your wing, but you stopped yourself before you could execute the instinct.

your cab pulled up by the sidewalk. "that’s my ride." you smiled and waved to him as you entered the car. somewhere during the 15 minute car ride, you mustered up the courage to finally text bakugou.

who knew he was so dirty-minded, anyway? you leaned back in your car seat, exhaling. thankfully, you didn’t text the wrong number or prematurely end the conversation. so, now you were friends with a pro-hero, or so you assumed (friends texted each other, right?). the you from 10 years ago would be jumping for joy at the prospect of befriending a pro-hero, and here you were. you finally booked a therapy session for saturday at 3pm. you checked into the lobby ten minutes early, just as your parents had taught you, and took a seat in the lobby.

when it was finally your turn, you found yourself back in hitomi's office, the familar scent of vanilla and fresh linen wafting in the air.

"i hope you don't mind the scent," she said.

you shook your head. "it's fine." the fragrance was almost reassuring in a way, but you couldn’t pin point it. this time, you allowed yourself to drink in your surroundings. hitomi’s office was spacious, a large window overlooking tokyo’s snow-covered cityscape adding onto the effect. the walls followed a vertical gradient pattern of mint green and light blue decorated with paintings, hanging plants, and wooden shelves yet not in a cluttered way. in the center, against a wall, was a white couch. it had an oddly calming aura to it, as if you'd stepped into a dream outside reality.

"would you like an apple? or some water?" hitomi offered.

you weren’t really in the mood for either, but accepted the water. she gestured for you to sit on the couch.

the meeting consisted of her asking and you answering, the topic changing from family life, to your quirk, to your feelings.

"so, can you explain your quirk to me?" hitomi asked.

"well..." you gathered your thoughts. "obviously, i have wings like an angel. they don’t really do anything, though, just get sensitive to the weather. i used to have a halo when i was young, but it’s faded by now. dunno why. let’s see...." you paused. "i guess i have an inclination to help others? it’s hard for me to say no to things, honestly."

"is it because of your quirk?"

"probably," you admitted. "i’ve always been like this, i think."

"can you fly with your wings?"

"no." you sipped your water. "i guess i never learned. i’d try, but i don’t think they can support my body weight."

"how do you feel about your quirk?"

you shrugged, but then regretted it. you didn’t want to seem insensitive to all the quirkless people who could only wish for a quirk. "it’s- it’s cool, i guess. it makes me unique..." you thought back to your parents’ words, how they’d praised you for such an amazing quirk. when you used to feel bad about your quirk, they’d always remind you that there were children who’d wish to even have a quirk at all, and that you were special. your mother’s quirk allowed her to shine small rays of light through her fingertips, while your dad’s quirk gave him a wing attached to his left arm. it was pretty much useless for anything other than generating wind, considering he didn’t have a right wing to balance him out. their quirks together worked out just right to create you, their perfect angel. hitomi jotted something on her notepad.

the more you thought of it, the more you felt broken. you'd been doing therapy with hitomi for months now, and it had gotten harder and harder to emotionally process. your parents, your family, your quirk; you now saw the things for what they were.

your parents had used you. you were their doll, their perfect obedient angel, and it disgusted you. your hands felt tainted, your wings heavy weights on your back. you were revolted by yourself; looking in the mirror, you couldn't help but gag, seeing not the you of now, but the you of the past looking back at you. you couldn't sleep; tossing and turning and ruffling your wings in frustration. you couldn't stop thinking about your parents, how they restricted you from everything.

you wondered how it'd be different if your parents were better. you wondered if you'd gotten into ua and strengthened your quirk. you wondered how your reputation as a pushover would change. maybe you'd be a hero right now, helping others instead of being so irreparably broken.  you could hear the catcalls from your classmates like bullets beating your wings. angel, the goody-two-shoes who couldn't say no.

not once did you cry. maybe you felt too disgusted by yourself. maybe bakugou was becoming the best friend you'd ever had.

he was there for you. making spicy curry or those awful, equally spicy instant korean noodles - he was there for you, in the same way milk is there for you when eating a particularly spicy dish. he listened to you, and you did the same for him. you laughed and joked together. somehow, in such a dark time, your friendship bloomed. it was strange, really. his reputation as a hero made him out to be aggressive and careless - and while he could brash in word choice at times, you knew he had a good heart. at one point, you’d even opened up to him about your past.

"then deku just completely f- messed up the mission! i could’ve blown up the damn guy, but he had to play mr. goody-two-shoes and just tie him up. and he got all the interview time. what’s even up with that?!"

he talked about his friends a lot. he'd deny his relationship with them being something other than strictly professional, but the way his crimson eyes would deepen gave it all away. he mainly spoke of deku and red riot (though their names would be referenced in cruder ways).

"what if- what if i was a hero?" you asked suddenly.

bakugou lifted an eyebrow. "you'd be a damn good hero if you could manage your quirk. like hawks."

"you think the public would like me?"

"duh. you're pretty, kind, AND fight villains? pretty badass. hell, if i approve of you, anyone would."

you smiled.

"why, though?" bakugou asked.

"curious. i, um, used to want to be a hero. growing up."

"your quirk has potential." bakugou leaned back on the couch. "why didn't ya become one?"

"parents." you flinched as the word passed your lips. thinking about your parents was painful, as if you had to rip off a month old bandaid before you could even get their faces into your mind. "they just... worried," you said. you didn't say anything else.

"betcha couldn't come up with a hero name as damn awesome as ground zero." "i could barely remember it," you teased.

"though, i must say, i do like enko as a hero name. it's like i'm joining an idol group."

"akb48 has nothing on you though,"  bakugou said.

you flushed. "i-i don't think you've looked at them properly, then."

"nah, i have, ochaco's obsessed with idol groups. don't doubt me, enko~" his voice was dangerously close, but he hadn't moved an inch from his original spot. "you're prettier than all the idols combined. tch, how low do you think my standards are?!"

"they're idol groups, bakugou, they practically rely on visuals!"

"eh? who cares? you've beaten them in looks and personality."

the thing about bakugou was that he was always completely honest with his thoughts. his integrity always amazed you, but then again, he was a pro-hero. you were quick to change the subject. "um- then-- what time is it? it must be getting late. i should get home-"

bakugou frowned. "it's late, idiot. eat before you go. i have some leftover tonkatsu and rice, and i can whip up the miso-"

"n-no, it's fine bakugou, you don't need to-"

"idiot, i can't have you starve to damn death on the ride home. eat."

even if you wanted to protest, you couldn't. bakugou's cooking was always to good to pass up, alarmingly spicy or not.

"the rice is still warm in the rice cooker," bakugou finally said, turning towards the kitchen. he knew you'd follow him, and you did.

bakugou busied himself making some instant miso soup and reheating the tonkatsu. you prepared yourself for the spicy of bakugou's tonkatsu; you'd had it once before, and it was quite painful. finally done, bakugou sat to the side of you eating tonkatsu as well, seasoning his with extra chili flakes. he was positively crazy; how did he handle such spice?

you cut yourself a strip and brought it to your lips. the tonkatsu was surprisingly tame for bakugou's cooking; it could've passed for normal restaurant tonkatsu.

"thish ish good," you said in between bites.

"i know," he gritted out, but he looked proud. "would be better with chili."

you shook your head, smiling. "never in a million years."

it was often you thought of this moment. it was so happy, so complete. it was just you and bakugou, simply being. right now, a genuine smile was something you couldn't curl your lips into, no matter how hard you tried. when you did, the taste of something salty crept into you mouth.

something salty...?

you touched your face. it was wet. your head spun, and then it dawned on you: you were crying. you were crying? your eyes focused, and pain throbbed in your head. lights shone too bright on you, heightening your headache, and a foul taste lingered in your mouth. you were suddenly aware of something solid in your hand: a drink.

something else you were aware of was how much you wanted to go home. you could barely remember what led you to a club as you fumbled in your purse for your phone, glancing at the time and unlocking the screen. all you needed to do was go home. you really wanted to go home, but where was home? home was gone. home...

a fresh wave of tears glossed your face, and you ignored the person next to you's advances. you didn't even know why you were crying. you struggled to read your contacts, dizzy, and called the first one you can make out with your hazed vision.

bakugou.

yes, all you wanted right now was bakugou. you wanted him and his warm arms, his endearing words. you wanted him so bad. you wanted him, and his warmth, and his happiness. you wanted his scent of comfort, the smile that made you feel fuzzy. you wanted his voice to shelter you precisely at that moment, you wanted to feel like it was him and you against the world.

"dumbass? hello? where are you? why is it so freaking loud? enko?"

you hadn't realized that a low quality projection of his voice was speaking on your phone.

"b-bakugou," you said, though it came out hoarsely. "bakugou."

"enko? where are you, and why are you calling at ass o'clock in the morning?"

"miss you," you almost said, but instead it came out as "dunno, you," a mix between "dunno" and "miss you."

"eh? where are you?"

you shrugged. "come here."

"send me your location, moron, and stay where you a-"

you hung up to send him your location.

you yawned and rubbed your forehead. everything was loud, everyone was together. and you were alone. it made you sad. you wanted to have somebody. a voice in the back of your head told you that you had bakugou. did you? right, he was coming. did you tell him to come?

you pressed the call button again.

"what is it?" bakugou asked roughly.

"lonelyyyy..." you moaned. "pick me up, baku...."

"idiot, i'm on my way. why the fuck are you so far from where you live?"

"hmm mmmhm," you strung together sounds. "'m sad."

"don't be." he sounded mad. he always sounded mad.

"why are you always mad at me?" you pouted.

"i'm not, dumbass! i'm pulling in."

"hmmm...!"

bakugou almost tore through the door with rage. "ENKO, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE."

you hopped toward him, wobbling a bit. the floor seemed to turn under you. enko! that was you! right?

"bakuuugoooou~" you cooed, flopping into his arms. "let's sleep."

he smelled nice. his scent enveloped you, a mix of vanilla and caramel that you’d grown so accustomed to.

he stiffened. "dumbass, i can smell the alcohol on you, we’re going the fuck home."

"don’ wanna," you whined. "lonely. wanna be with youuuuu..." you nuzzled more into his chest, finding comfort in his body warmth. you didn’t want to let go, ever. "tch, fine."

the car ride to bakugou’s place was uncomfortable. cars spun by you, lights making you woozy. you almost bashed your head on the dashboard. your seat was uncomfortable, the seatbelt itched you. despite all that, you stopped to stare at bakugou in your daze, all serious and set on the road. he had nice biceps, and his side profile was a sight for sore eyes (see also: your eyes).

"what, enko?" he grunted, glancing at you.

you said the first thing that came to your mind. "you know you smell nice?"

"huh?" he glanced at you, turning in to his driveway.

well, there was no going back now. "you smell like caramel... and vanilla... it’s nice..." you sighed happily, imagining the fragrance.

bakugou didn’t reply, instead parking and unlocking the doors. "get out, dumbass, it’s past your bedtime."

"but i don’t haaaaaave a bedtime," you slurred, stumbling out of the car. bakugou mumbled a complaint before hoisting you over his shoulder. it was probably not the best move, considering the blood rushing to your head made you feel sick. after entering his house, bakugou set you down on a sofa, sitting you upright.

"stay here."

you leaned back on the sofa, feeling suddenly empty. the buzz in your head had not quite left, but the weight of the world came crashing down again. therapy, your parents, your quirk. it struck you that you were probably bothering bakugou and disturbing his sleep; he was a pro-hero after all, lives depended on his health. but here you were, ever so selfish and probably taking a toll on his health.

"drink." you hadn't realized bakugou had put a glass of water in your hands. you simply nodded and gulped it down, hoping to sober yourself up.

you stared at the man glossy eyed, glass in your hand half empty. "bakugou."

"eh?"

"sorry."

"for what?"

"y'know... waking you up... bothering you... i know you're busy, and-"

"shut up, it doesn't matter. i'd rather you here than in the hands of some douche at the club."

"but still, how would i make it up-"

"by sleeping well. off to bed you go."

he started pushing you towards the hallway. "where will you sleep?"

"sofa."

"but bakugou-"

"go to bed."

"i feel sick-"

"hah?"

a rising sensation of bile emerged in your throat. the only words you could get out of your mouth was "bathroom," before you rushed in. it was not a pretty sight - you preferred to skim over the details when recalling it. the details you did not skim over, however, were that of bakugou's care; for being awoken at ungodly hours in the morning, he was surprisingly gentle with your vomiting state, soothing your stomach with warm hands and rubbing your back. after, he gave you a glass of water and forced you to take ibuprofen, though you swore you felt fine.

bakugou's bed was surprisingly comfortable. then again, bakugou did claim to have gone to bed at 8:30 sharp daily during his high school years, so it made sense he still valued sleep.

you were then reminded how you disrupted his.

and how you were now forcing him to sleep on the sofa.

you padded out of his room, wearing one of bakugou's old shirts that he'd graciously lended you, to the living room. he was laying on his back, feet sticking out of the sofa, eyes closed.

"what?" he asked, eyes still shut.

you knew he wouldn't let you feel guilty about intruding his sleep, so you settled upon saying the next best thing. it was partially true, anyway.

"'m lonely without you." your voice came out smaller than intended.

"huh?" he sat up, groggily looking at you.

"it's- kinda cold, and y'know, with your quirk..."

he grunted and obliged, walking toward his bedroom. you stood behind him, staring at his back; that was surprisingly easy.

bakugou slept with his arms around you, so you were nestled comfortably into his chest. this position felt strangely domestic; something lovers might do nightly. but you and bakugou weren't lovers, you were friends. image of you and bakugou involved romantically faded into your mind; coffee shop dates, cooking together, waking up next to each other. there was a sudden loss of breath in your chest, as if your heart had become weightless and was lifted by a thousand of butterflies taking flight. bakugou... romantically? it hadn't crossed your mind. still, you could see it so vividly in your mind; you, becoming his dumbass, his and his only. you could imagine how he'd look at you, full of love in his eyes, and how he'd gently kiss your forehead in the morning. was it so bad to want that? the more your thoughts indulged you, the more his body warmth drowsed you, his calm breathing adding to the effect. he was practically nyquil in human form. you found yourself nodding off in his arms, not before mumbling a quiet "what if i liked bakugou?" and clutching his shirt closer to you.

you were far too engrossed in the realm of sleep to hear bakugou's faint but hopeful reply of "i'd hope so, dumbass."

at your next therapy meeting, you told hitomi about bakugou. it was unplanned, spilling out of your mouth as soon as she asked why you looked so anxious. you couldn't like bakugou. you blamed your slightly intoxicated past self for planting such a thought in your brain, but you knew it just admitted a lingering feeling from in your heart. you spared her the details of the throwing up and the guilt that gnawed at you regarding how bakugou cared for you.

"it's... childish, right? like an old schoolgirl crush," you flushed, finishing your confession.

hitomi shook her head. "it's good to feel this way, actually. it's quite healthy for a twenty-something like you to harbour such feelings; it allows you to explore your feelings and relationships healthily."

even so, crushing was so damn frustrating. it's one thing to like a person; it's a completely different experience after admitting to yourself, yes, they're my crush. when you were younger, you very rarely developed crushes (as influenced by your parents) and even less were able to act on them. but now, as an adult, you had the freedom to act (or not, considering how your nerves constantly started to act up around bakugou). you decided to push the feelings down; you were just friends, and bakugou had no time to pursue a romantic relationship.

if having a crush was like an addiction, rehab was torture for you. gone were the days of seeing bakugou as platonic; you couldn't stop your heart from swelling whenever he recounted his day to you. bakugou had now become attractive, from his tight, bulging muscles to his hard chest. it did not help that you had to see him in his hero costume flaunting those features every other day on the news.

you convinced yourself bakugou harboured nothing but platonic sentiment for you, but he never failed to send your heart aflutter with discreet compliments he hid under rough comments. you started leaving early whenever the two of your hung out under the guise of other plans (that in reality didn't exist), and tried to always cut conversations short when you bumped into each other in public. he was ground zero, pro-hero, and you were just a civilian who could barely maintain their quirk.

you were just starting your quirk therapy, but you couldn't expect major changes a week in. bakugou had said your wings looked brighter, but you assumed he just said that to make you feel better. you could hover off the ground for less than a second now, but your wing strength lacked too much to be able to do anything requiring more strength. your halo was still absent, and you couldn't figure out how to make it reappear. there hadn't been much research done on the essence of halos; hitomi said not to worry about it regardless.

flap flap flap.

"oi, dumbass, you're gonna create a tornado in here."

flap flap flap.

"i'm practicing flying."

"well, you're going nowhere. d'you want me to call hawks or something?" flap flap flap. 

you turned to bakugou, folding your wings neatly. he had the same expression as always, slightly disapproving and tired. your eyes meet his momentously; but they fall down immediately to his lips. lately, this kind of thing had been happening often. bakugou acted like he didn't notice you'd been different lately, but you could tell he wanted an explanation.

you acted on your impulse, your mouth opening and words tumbling from your mouth.

"bakugou- idon'twanttoruinourfriendshipbutijustwannasayitnow- ilikeyou."

"what?" why did you do that?

if this were a texting conversation, you'd leave him on read. if this was a tweet, you'd make your account private. if this was a video call, you'd end it.

alas, this was real life, so you resorted to the next closest thing: you ran. you ran faster than any shoujo girl and with more conviction than any shounen boy, and then you were lost. damn cities.

panting on the sidewalk, wings heaving up and down, you realized what you did. staring at the edge of the pavement, where the curb met the street, hands on your knees, it hit you.

you cussed and yelled at yourself mentally, and though a small part doubted bakugou even heard you, you didn’t allow yourself to have hope. it was game over. you let your feelings override rational thought, and you ruined what was arguably the best thing going on in your life.

you were interrupted by an itch in your feathers from being so cramped while folded. they ruffled against the cool air, distraught. you stretched them out, observing your surroundings and allowing yourself to cool down. the breeze was a satisfying sensation against your feathers, and you hovered just a moment when they flapped.

"mommy, wings!" a kid passes you on the sidewalk, pointing. his mother hushes him, but you smile at him.

the next few days were rough, particularly because you were avoiding bakugou. it was definitely not a good idea, but it was a temporary patch over the open part of your heart.

this was not one of your healthy coping mechanisms.

did he text you? did he call you? you didn’t know, because you turned off your notifications. you knew you were just making things more awkward, even more so if he hadn’t heard you at all. it gave you all the more excuse to ignore him longer.

now, with evenings to yourself, your mind wandered more. your thoughts drifted into a vast desert of tangled constellations in your mind, tightropes you’d tread that would lead you to a random destination. sometimes it led you to random memories - other times, it wasn’t as random, leading you to painful manifestations in your heart. these were the things you tried so hard to ignore, but rang so true.

you were reminded by the constellations in your mind that you were being terribly selfish to bakugou; not even considering his feelings. bakugou didn't deserve you. maybe stars twinkled in your mind, but the bluest ones burned you to the touch. you needed to get over bakugou.

that wasn’t to say it didn’t hurt, trying to get over bakugou. the stars in your mind dimmed, and perhaps, at one point, the constellations were reduced to thread; knotted, tangled, and hopeless.

maybe it was better when the string had been unkempt, because now it unraveled. you cried, and cried; in the shower, at your desk, doing chores. tears, hot and sharp like newly shapen diamonds, dripped down your face. your face was permanently marked by the wounds the diamonds left, and contrary to the stars, your eyes were red and hot. your thoughts unwound like string - there was a clear pathway now, but it was tainted by the shape of the knots there had once been.

everything hurt when you thought of bakugou. your swollen eyes became lifeless as memories of him overtook you. they controlled you. you missed therapy session after session, too scared to go to the place which bakugou had connected you to. sometimes, you’d sprawl across the ground, stare into your ceiling, and feel yourself vanish into something, a dark void of nothingness. he had cared so much for you - too much. why had he? why couldn’t he have left you, that one day you were almost robbed? why couldn’t you just have stayed the way you were? why did you have to find the truth in things? ignorance was a bliss you woke yourself from. ignorance, the dream which from you woke to find a nightmare, reality. why did he have to be him, the stupid pro-hero with a heart that bled kindness into yours? why couldn’t he have stayed a two-dimensional public figure, the careless and angry ground zero? why did he have to be in your goddamn life and ruin it, entangle everything into one big mess? you hated him. you hated him and his stupid endearing insults, him and his rugged smirk that pained your heart so, him and his eyes that held sparks and diamonds and you. deep inside, you knew it wasn’t true; hate was just a name for an indefinably strong feeling you had for him. you knew you didn’t hate him, you knew you couldn’t hate him. you told yourself you did to distance yourself from him. the distance between you and he only grew. your memories were tarnished with pain, his image blurry and wrinkled in your eyes. katsuki bakugou was just someone, no one.

this was the feeling of agony, this was the sight of pure hell, and this was the sound of you burning your heart. distance between you and the man named katsuki bakugou grew, as did your descent into pure madness.

until the distance between you and he was less than a metre.

you had not bothered to tame your hair; it was a bit overgrown and sprouted a couple split ends. you were dressed in a stained shirt, your face not even mentionable, and your heart was beating in your ears. you felt yourself dragged quite forcefully down to sanity, as if opening the door suddenly put gravity into effect.

because here he was, katsuki bakugou in all of his perfect glory, standing on your doorstep.

the little shit refrained from making a comment about your current state, but you could see the comment appearing in his eyes and vanishing as soon as it came. you watched his eyes go from the state of your face down to your unkempt attire. he, on the other hand, looked unaffected. he was sporting a t-shirt and jeans, hands shoved into his pockets. the only indicator, which was minuscule at best, that he had changed at all was the red at the corners of his eyes and slight eyebags. he looked shocked at the sight of you.

"y/n..." you almost fainted on the spot.

you weren’t not jumping for joy in ecstasy at the sight of him, and you didn’t feel like a shoujo protagonist at the moment. it was something different.

"again," but your voice was too hoarse to be heard. your mouth opened and closed, you coughed, and repeated yourself. "s-say it again."

"huh?!" it was nice to know someone hadn’t changed after all that time.

"my- my name..."

"eh? enko."

you sighed, your face indifferent. you weren’t exactly disappointed by his reply; it brought memories upon memories of happier times with him.

"well, what do you want?" you asked, rubbing the side of your face.

"what- what the fuck is going on?" he gestured to you. "i should be asking about you. what the f- what happened to you?!"

"i-"

"enko, i don’t get any of this shit. this relationship crap. what do you want me to do?! first, you act weird as shit- because of what?! i don’t fuckin’ know. you avoid me - don’t think i didn’t notice - and then suddenly you spew shit and leave?! i don’t see you for a goddamn week, you don’t answer your damn calls or texts, and suddenly i’m the damn villain and i’m supposed to give you time or shit to figure things out, and when i can finally fucking see you, you look like actual crap?! hell, i should be the one with deteriorating mental health with all of the bull you put me through! if you want something, if you don’t wanna be friends or shit, just goddamn say it to my face! i’m not good with people, enko, goddamnit! tell me what’s wrong!"

you stood in shock. relationship..? you shook his words away. you hadn’t realized how much this took a toll on bakugou, too. he looked away - something glinted in his eyes, but you couldn’t tell exactly what.

"god-fucking-damnit," he grumbled. "...are ya gonna let me in, or what?! it’s cold out here!"

you didn’t think about how bakugou’s quirk involved producing heat, and let him in unreluctantly, stepping aside. "sorry," you mumbled.

he took off his shoes, and you motioned for him to sit down on your couch.

"explain it to me," he demanded. "what in the goddamn world has happened tot you? did someone do this to you?!"

you refrained from saying technically, it was you, and settled on: "no." it was apparent he hadn’t heard you that day. "just- it’s nothing. i was being stupid, a-and i’m okay now." it was a lie.

"do you take me as an idiot?" he asked. gears shifted in his eyes. "sit down," he said, suddenly calm.

you did so, sitting as farthest as you could from him.

"closer," he gritted out. you scooted a centimetre. "closer." another centimeter. "clo-ser." he pulled you so you were sitting angled toward him, knee brushing his.

"baku...gou?" so many questions flashed in your mind.

"confirm something for me," he ordered. "what exactly did you say to me before running away?"

"i- nothing. it was nothing, i told you, bakugou."

"tell. me. i don’t care if you quoted freud, told me a failed joke, or what. tell me."

your mind was devoid of possible jokes you could use to lie.

you opened your mouth, forcing the words out with all your might. "i don’t remember the specifics," you rambled. "i don’t think i was in the right state of mind-"

"spit it out."

"i think it went something like ‘i like you’ or something?" your pitch rose with every syllable.

"tch," a smile was on his face. "thought so." his hand was suddenly on your cheek, and his lips were on yours. he tasted like caramel. your eyes widened, and you pulled away, sputtering.

"what? what d’you mean, ‘thought so’?!"

"idiot, i like you too. also, when did you last brush your teeth?"

"i- that doesn’t matter. bakugou... i don’t think that this relationship is good for us. as friends or whatnot."

"huh? why not?"

"look at me. look at you. i can barely handle my quirk, and you’re a pro-hero who uses his quirk to help people. i can’t really do anything."

he mumbled something under his breath. "enko, do you think i care about any of that? i don’t care if you have the strongest quirk in the world or none at all. you’re strong - and i don’t say this ‘cause i like you - you’re kind, you see the best in people." he paused. "people don’t give me the time of day ‘cause they think i’m too irrational. brash. careless. but you? you see past that, you don’t care. you work hard no matter what people say. people-" his voice caught in his throat, "people say shit to you, and you don’t care. you keep going."

he saw you... like that? your face heated up.

"don’t be gettin’ all shy on me," he grunted. "tch. come here." he pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around you and narrowly avoiding your wings. you flushed, holding him tight and inhaling his caramel scent. you squeezed your eyes shut, wishing to hold him like this forever.

“hey, enko,” he whispered into your ear. you looked at him, who was currently looking up and pointing. “halo.”

[pretoriafics]

Russian Roulette - Pt. 2

In this series, you will find Alternative Universe, Soulmate plot, Angst, Fluff. In this chapter, you will find: You met the creepy man from the black car, finally! But things began to get weird for you. Word count: 1.560 Pairings: Reader x Derek Original characters of this chapter: Bennie, your host mom; A weird ginger lady Warnings: English is not my main language <3 Yeah, it was based on Russian Roulette by Rihanna Russian Roulette series: Chapter One | Chapter Three RUSSIAN ROULETTE MASTERLIST TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST

You were without a sign of clues.

Well, you were pretty sure that the creepy guy who was talking with Scott and Stiles that day at the school had the answers you were asking for. However, you don't even know his name, and do this question to Scott and Stiles wasn't a viable option. They will never tell you anything about it. You have just one choice: To stay alert and watch things as close as you can.

But, you know, sometimes things happen funnily. The universe has a weird sense of humor.

You were driving through the city in the afternoon, going to get the girls from ballet, and thinking about a plan or something that you could do. Beacon Hills was a tiny city, so if you find out the name of that guy, you could look for a few pieces of information about him. Actually, you were so absorbed in your own thoughts that you just didn't saw the traffic lights become red. The car in front of you stopped, but you didn't stop the car. In fact, when you saw the red light, your eyes got wider and you stepped into the car brake. The loud sound of the tire sliding in the asphalt echoed through the entire street, and your car crashed in the back of the car in front of you.

God, you were so fucked up! You had just screwed the car of your host family! Sebastian and Barbara will be so upset with you!

Immediately, you come out of the car with your face red with anxiety and anger. How could you be so inattentive? But when you saw a man coming out of the car, the color of your face changed from red to white in fear.

You'd just hitten in a black car. A Camaro, you thought without sure. The man was that creepy guy, who you saw talking with Scott and Stiles. Oh, God. You felt your stomach fell in fear, and you froze. He will take a gun to point of you, you are pretty sure about it!

But instead of it, he just looked at you, watching you attentively. His face still looks serious.

"You okay?"

Well, at least he is a polite criminal. Which market does he work at? Is he a drug dealer? A killer? Or he's some kind of... pimp? But why Scott and Stiles would get into a deal or something like that with a pimp?

He doesn't sound like a pimp for you. Actually, he seems like a killer. Maybe he is a killer and a drug dealer...

You breathe in deeply and finally replies him.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry! I don't have so much time with a driver's license. You okay?"

"I noticed that." His eyes become narrowed, and he gave you a discreet smile "Don't worry about me, I'm okay."

He looks at the damage done, and you follow his gaze. Fortunately, you stepped into the car brake soon enough to get just a little smash on both cars. Of course, your low speed helped to minimize the damage.

"Oh, God." You complain, letting out a long sigh. "Wait."

You went back to your car and took a pen and a post-it from the glove compartment. You weren't giving him your phone number just for being fair with him about the accident. It was just an excuse to, finally, find out his name. Quickly, you wrote your name with your phone number and gave the post-it for him.

"Could you give me your phone number? I'll fix your car, don't worry." He told you the numbers, slowly, and you could make the one million dollar question. "Okay. What's your name?"

"Derek Hale."

Oh my gosh, now you know his name! You would finally find out what the heck is going on.

"Alright. I'll send you a message to talk about the car. And sorry!"

Well, you were a lucky Au Pair. Your host family didn't get angry with you. Actually, they were happy you were okay and said that you don't have to worry about the car fix costs. It was great because 200 dollars per week as a salary really wasn't too much money. They just asked you to be careful while driving.

After taking a look at the girls, you ran to your room on the second floor, the last room in the corridor. Quickly, you took the laptop and begun to search on the internet about Derek. You found a piece of news, who was talking about a fire in a house. Reading that news, you found out that it was his house. Almost everybody died, except for Derek and his uncle, Peter, who is actually hospitalized in a clinic, with his whole body burnt.

Well... Maybe you were being unfair to him. It is such a sad history! But you need to continue your search. You need to prove yourself he isn't a criminal or some sort of it because, in the end, you need to protect your boys.

The next day, you were at a restaurant, lunching with Barbara, your host mom, and boss. You call her lovingly Bennie, and she was born and raised in Beacon Hills. If there's one that probably would know about Derek, that person would be her.

"So, Bennie... What about the car fixing?"

"Oh, dear, don't worry about that." She looks at you with a soft smile. "I'd talked with Hale about it. Everything is solved."

"Uh, really? That's great! And what do you know about him?"

Barbara was more than a boss. She was your friend, your second mom. And, sometimes, like every mom, she had the power to let you embarrassed. She was doing it right now, looking at you suggestively.

"Oh, you're interested in him? Why you didn't tell me before? I would talk with him about you! I don't judge you, I mean, all that bad boy kind... Wow! Don't lose this opportunity, girl!"

Bennie has the amazingly cringe-worthy manner ever: she loves to show you a few guys, telling you to call them to date. It wasn't being different now that you're asking her questions about Hale.

"Gosh, Bennie!" You laugh "Luckily Sebastian is not here."

"Well, I met Derek's mom once. He reminds me of her... You know, with all of that 'sweet' personality." Bennie gave a soft smile for you. "But she was a good person. Her name was Talia. Derek was out of the town since a few time ago but seems he came back. I didn't know about it." Bennie narrowed her eyes and gave you a large smile "And you know what? I think Talia would love to meet you!"

"Jesus Christ, Bennie, stop!" You hide your face with one of your hands, blushing while Bennie laughs about your reaction.

"You!"

A female voice came out of nowhere. A ginger woman, with a red dress, approaches you and Bennie. She seems so... Impressed. And she was looking at you.

"Can I help you?" You said, confused.

"I know what are you looking for, (Y/N)."

You froze. How did she know about your name? You had never, ever seen that woman in your entire life.

"...I'm sorry, I don't know-"

"Look for Haytham." She took a pen from her bag and wrote an address on a napkin from the table. A cold shiver ran down your spine when you noticed that her eyes were so empty and distant as a dead body's eyes. "He's a priest. But look at me, child: You are in a decisive moment of your life. You have two paths to choose from. If you continue to look for answers, you will know the truth and the truth is not what you're expecting. This truth will change your life forever, and your life will become a truly Russian roulette, girl. But if you give up on the call of Selene, and give up on your search, your life will be peaceful, but you will spend the entire life knowing that you lost something and you will never know what it is. You will look for something for the rest of your life that you know it's yours, but you will never find it. The choice is yours."

At this moment, you were so terrified, that you have cringed in the chair. Bennie was equally scared, and she was already looking around for some help. Everyone was looking at the table you were on.

Suddenly, after look at you with her dead eyes, the woman fell to the floor, unconscious. Bennie got up from the chair while everybody was looking at the woman, terrified and worried. Bennie instructed you.

"Call an ambulance!"

Terrified and with your hands shaking, you followed her ask while Bennie was watching the lady. As a doctor, Bennie could give her first aid until the ambulance comes in. But when Bennie took the woman's wrist, she contracted her lips in anxiety. Immediately, Bennie put her hands in the woman's chest and...

Oh, Gosh, she was trying to resuscitate the woman.

Bennie was doing a few chest compressions on the woman, which is obviously wasn't a good sign. After a few trying, Bennie shakes her head negatively. Nervous, you asked for her.

"She will be okay?"

Bennie contracts her lips.

"No, (Y/N). She's dead."