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firstofficerwiggles · 4 years

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Only for You

Pairing: Mandalorian x female reader

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Summary: You like to sing and it ends up bringing you closer to the Mandalorian. Events take place sometime between Seasons 1 and 2. It’s pretty much fluff with a teeny bit of story.

Word Count: ~4600

Author’s Note: Inspired by the Adele version of Make You Feel My Love, I use several of the lyrics in the story but I did make one small change to make it fit the SW universe. Also in my SW universe, all Earth music is readily available by some magical means, don’t overthink it.

P.S. To everyone I tagged, I did a presumptive tag here since you were on my list for Dress Code and I thought maybe you’d enjoy reading this too? I’m sorry if you aren’t interested and just let me know if you don’t want to be tagged for any future works.

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The soft sounds of you singing to the child drift through the Razor Crest up to the cockpit making Din smile under his helmet. Ever since you came aboard to be the caregiver for his little foundling, life has been filled with music and boisterous sounds. It’s a nice change from the lonely silences that previously filled his days. He never really listened to music when he was alone, it just wasn’t something he was used to, but now he knows he would miss it if you weren’t singing all the time.

“Heeey, hey baby, I wanna know-ow-ow, if you’ll be my guy.” You sing to the child causing him to giggle and coo at you. You swear he is even bopping his head along to the rhythm of the song. You’re preparing the evening meal, dancing around the Crest’s hull and singing to your little green charge as you do. Thank goodness Mando doesn’t mind how much you sing and generally create a ruckus in the ship. From outward appearances, your primary worry should have been Mando’s dangerous lifestyle and the bounty on the child, but honestly, when you first started this job, your primary concern was about being way too noisy for the taciturn bounty hunter. You feel like you can’t help it though because you were raised in a loud household with three brothers where everyone was always talking, laughing, shouting, and generally being rowdy. Later, you were away at school living with hundreds of other students constantly surrounded by racket, the perfect environment for your noisy nature. Not to mention, you’ve always loved to sing and were known for being that one (slightly annoying) friend that was always humming a tune or breaking out in song like you were in a musical.

You were fortunate to be sent to a school with a great arts program and you relished your music classes. You had dreamed of someday being able to have a career in music, but as the war grew closer to your corner of the galaxy, those aspirations quickly faded. By the time you left school, you were lucky to find the odd teaching job as a tutor and the closest you’d come to having any sort of musical profession was singing and playing the piano at the local cantina a few times a week for tips. It had been fun for a while, but it wasn’t how you had envisioned your life. Playing the same requested songs night after night while increasingly drunk men hit on you loses its charm real fast. When your older brother, another bounty hunter, had told you about Mando needing some help with childcare, you had jumped at the opportunity for something new. So far it was proving to be the most rewarding job you’d ever had. Not only was the child unbelievably adorable, you’d also had the opportunity to travel to many new places and gain experiences that would have been impossible back on your home world. And while caring for the special alien baby was your main task, you found yourself helping out his father as much as you could too whether it was simply cleaning up around the Crest or making sure that Mando ate something on a given day. You had seen that he frequently put everyone above himself, going for long stretches of time without seeing to his own personal needs. He seemed to appreciate everything that you did for him, always quick to thank you even for the smallest of tasks.

You checked the timer on the food and saw that there were just a few more minutes until it would be ready. To keep the baby from getting fussy, you pick him up and spin him around a bit singing to him again, “So won’t you, please, be my, be my, be my little baby, my one and only baby...” It’s silly but you love singing songs to him with the word “baby” in them even if they aren’t traditionally songs for children. You are mid twirl with the child when you realize the Mandalorian has come down from the cockpit and is watching your little performance. You feel your cheeks heat up, a bit embarrassed that he has caught you being such a dork, but then he puts you at ease when he chuckles, “You two look like you’re having fun.”

“Yes, time for dinner and a little dancing,” you reply with a smile, twirling the child one more time causing him to erupt in happy giggles.

“Good, I’m starved,” Mando wanders over to the food, “Smells delicious. You’re too good to us.”

You put the baby back down and turn back to the little stove to dish out the stew you’ve made. You try not to think about the fact that you made this particular dish because Mando seems to like it so much. You couldn’t be certain but it looked like he licked the bowl clean the last time you made it. Mando moves to take his bowl up to the cockpit so he can remove his helmet and eat in privacy, but then turns to you to say, “I’ll let you know when it’s ok to come up for lullaby time.”

Ah yes, lullaby time, as if you would ever forget. It is the highlight of your day, and you would love to imagine that the same is true for Mando even though he’s never given any indication of the kind. When you first started this job, you had tried to give the Mandalorian as much space as possible not wanting to pester him in any way. As much as you could, you had stayed out of the cockpit treating it as his own private domain. So the first few times you put the child to bed, you stayed down in the hull as you sang him a few songs to help ease the little womp rat into sleep. But, after a few evenings alone like that, Mando had managed to be downstairs, tinkering away at little odd jobs while you put the baby to bed. At first you didn’t really think he was paying much attention to your singing, but by about the fourth night you realized he had been cleaning the same blaster over and over, and you began to suspect that he was listening to you as intently as the child. A few days later, he suggested that you come up to the cockpit for the child’s nighttime routine, saying “Maybe looking out at the stars will help him feel sleepy.” You had agreed, but, you had to admit, that it was more because you were curious about spending more time with your employer than finding a way to help the little one fall asleep faster. Mando had been the one to coin the term “lullaby time” as a way to let you know that his helmet was back on and he was ready for company. Your heart almost melted the first time he said it, and now you lived to hear him call down to say “Ok, you two, it’s lullaby time.”

In the cockpit, Din is gulping down his dinner. He knows he should probably slow down, savor his food a bit more, but truthfully he’s eager to spend more time with you and the child. He’s thought about staying down below with you both when he eats, but tipping the helmet up each time he wants to take a bite of food or a sip of a drink is a pain and he can’t risk the chance that one of you will see too much of his face. Din would never admit it out loud, but lullaby time is his favorite part of the day. It’s the one time he gets to spend time with you and the child just relaxing and enjoying your presence. Plus the fact that he gets to listen to your beautiful voice is a special bonus. At first Din would just watch you hold the child and sing to him, but now he’s a more active participant, often taking the child into his arms, rocking him gently as you sing to the both of them. He’s even started to ask you more about the songs you sing and where you learned them. It’s been a nice way to start conversations with you, to know more about you, something else he is eager to do.

When Mando calls down to you, you beam down at the baby and tell him happily that it’s time to get ready for bed. Scooping him up, you climb the ladder to the cockpit and you can see Mando already holding out his arms for the little one. You adore how affection this hardened warrior can be with his adopted son. You settle in the co-pilot’s chair as you start to sing some of your favorite songs. They’re all love songs, not really lullabies, but they are soft and dreamy and create the right mood for the evening. You’ve sung about four songs when you notice the child’s eyes are closed and you can tell he’s almost asleep. You’re about ready to collect him from Mando so you can put him into his pram for the night, when Mando asks, “What’s that song you sing about feel my love?”

“Make You Feel My Love?” you ask, “Is that the one you mean?”

“Yeah,” he replies, “you didn’t sing it tonight.”

It’s not exactly a request, but you understand what he’s hinting at. He’s asked you the name before, so you suspect he remembers the song fairly well. Even though the child is practically asleep now, you sing it for Mando, feeling touched that he must enjoy this particular song to want to ask about it.

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

Din listens to the beautiful words and the haunting melody as your voice sings to him about all the ways you would show him that you care. He watches your lovely face as you sing and he imagines that you really mean what you are singing, that you’re singing it just to him, that you really would do all of that for him. When you get to the line I could make you happy, make your dreams come true he feels his heart lurch at the truth in those words, knowing how much you already make him happy every day and acknowledging that if you were ever truly with him, it would be like a dream come true for him. As the song ends, he sighs, both contented at hearing it but also saddened to come back to reality. Din won’t let himself believe that a woman like you could ever really love him so unconditionally. His life is too turbulent, full of violence and hardship, and what woman would want to saddle herself with that?

Even though you’re not privy to Mando’s true feelings, you somehow feel that you could tell how much he enjoyed hearing that song and so after that evening, you are sure to sing it as the last song every night. Usually the child is already fast asleep when you sing it, so each time it becomes clearer to you that you really are singing it just for Mando. As the days and week progress, lullaby time has come to be followed by conversation time since you have taken to returning to the cockpit after putting the child to sleep in his pram. At first you mostly spoke about your own life, answering Mando’s questions about where you learned to sing, what else you learned at school, and what life was like with your three crazy brothers. Yet, little by little he has begun to tell you about his own past, sharing stories about his training in the Mandalorian fighting corps and his earlier years as a bounty hunter.

The more you find out about Mando, the more you’ve come to develop real feelings for him. So when you sing that there’s nothing that you wouldn’t do for him, that you want him to feel your love, you know you really mean it. If only you could bring yourself to tell him in your own words, and not only in the song. Nonetheless, if you’re honest with yourself, you have no indication that Mando shares your feelings even slightly. While he does seem to enjoy spending time with you, and clearly he likes Make You Feel My Love, truthfully he could be thinking about anyone when you sing it or it could be that he just likes the music and the company, it’s not like there’s someone else here. Sure he’s always polite and kind towards you, but he’s like that with lots of people, as long as they’re not a threat. You’ve seen how quickly he can make friends, despite being an intimidating wall of metal, his quiet charm and respectfulness draws people to him in an unassuming manner. Perhaps you’re simply another friendly admirer swept up by his intriguing aura. So you do your best to keep these feeling to yourself, maintaining as neutral an expression as you can when you sing to him and doing your utmost not to embarrass yourself by sharing too much and potentially ruining the friendly companionship you’ve managed to cultivate.

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“I don’t think this will take too long, and you two can probably get something to eat while we’re here.” You and the child have accompanied Mando to a cantina on an icy planet where he has a meeting with a potential client. It was too cold to stay on the Razor Crest with its meager heating system, and thankfully this place is warm and doesn’t seem too seedy. The bar top looks well-polished and there’s even a piano in here, hinting at a nicer atmosphere than most of the hole-in-the wall joints you’ve been to with Mando. The only unsettling thing is how everyone in the cantina is staring at your odd little group, the silver warrior, the alien baby in his floating pram, and you, the woman looking about with curious eyes. You have never quite gotten used to the way that Mando can silence an entire room just by entering it, but he seems unperturbed by the stares. He spots his client, an older looking gentleman, and moves toward that direction, but a group of patrons have decided to intervene first.

“What’s your business here, Mandalorian?” A tall, florid-faced man demands. He seems to be the unofficial leader of the group, as the rest of them are looking to him as the voice of authority.

“It’s not with you.” Mando is never one to mince words.

“We don’t need you coming in here and causing trouble, I’ve seen how you Mandos get.” A much shorter man, with clearly a death wish, sticks his finger towards Mando’s chest plate almost poking him.

“Not here for trouble.” Mando’s voice sounds gruffer than usual and it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Well you Mandos never drink in public, so what are you doing in a cantina?” The short man sneers at him and ugh, the way he makes Mandos sound like a dirty word irritates you to no end.

Not one to be baited into confrontation, Mando says nothing in reply, but merely tilts his helmet at the man, and you can feel the annoyance in his gesture.

“This a decent place for decent people, so why don’t you just turn around and get out of here?” The tall man suggests with a malicious tone to his voice. This place might look at little nicer, but the patrons sure are nasty. You look around and see more men standing up, and the tension in the room is palpable. You know Mando could really use the work, but the last thing he needs is to get into a fight just trying to land the job.

You have no idea what possesses you, but before you know it you’re saying “But if we leave now, you won’t get to hear me sing!” And you stride confidently over to the piano, plop yourself down on the bench, and begin playing out a jaunty song, a popular tune from your cantina back home. Despite the fact that everyone is now staring at you like you have lost your mind, you press ahead and start singing as if this was always the point of being there. You smile brightly at the room as if you are having the time of your life performing for them. Magically, your ridiculous ploy works and the men back off, a bit startled at first by the abrupt change in energy in the room, but as they beginning listening to you sing their animosity seems to drain away. Several other patrons are nodding their heads along with the music and light conversation picks up again. Mando gives you a small nod before finally making his way over to the client. You let the music flow and continue on to another song, keeping everyone’s attention on you. By the third song you feel more relaxed and grateful that you’re able to help Mando out in this way. A waiter comes over from the bar with a drink for you as you end a song, “That was smooth, what you did,” he gives you a little wink.

“Hope your boss doesn’t mind,” you say with a smile.

“The drink’s from him, he said he didn’t realize I hired a singer for tonight, but he’s real pleased with you.” He gestures to the man tending bar.

“That’s good,” is all you can think to say in response.

“Do you know She’s Always a Woman?” he asks. You nod smoothly and start the song and you glance over at the bartender again and see that he’s smiling widely, must be a favorite of his.

After that, a tip jar finds its way over to the piano and patrons come up to add to it and make their own requests, even the tall man comes over to give you a few credits and ask for a song. His cronies are now back to their drinks and none of them even seem to register that Mando is still here. The more you sing, the more you get into the fun of performing for a crowd again, making them forget their troubles and letting them take some time to enjoy themselves. When you glimpse towards Mando and his client, they also seem to appreciate the music. The client has a happy smile on his face and while you obviously can’t see Mando’s expression, his relaxed posture indicates an improvement from earlier. He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave for once either.

Looking at the pleased faces and jovial manner about the cantina now, Din is impressed with how you managed to transform this place from hostile to welcoming in a matter of minutes. The client appreciated your help too as he was worried about hiring a bounty hunter in the first place, never having had a need for such services before. Fortunately, the client’s explanation of the job was fairly straightforward and it looks to be an easy bounty. Din is careful to repeat back all of the pertinent details to the client and the man seems satisfied in his abilities to find the quarry, which is good because his usual laser-like focus has abandoned him and he can’t stop himself from glancing repeatedly over to the piano and you. Normally, Din wouldn’t hang around and socialize with the client, but the opportunity to see you perform like this is too good to pass up. He knew you were talented after hearing you sing for him and the baby for so many evenings, but seeing you shine like this is a luxury. Din watches keenly as different emotions play across your gorgeous face as you shift from happy, upbeat songs to the more expressive and dramatic love songs. You are always beautiful to Din, but seeing you like this is special, like you’re glowing from within and it makes you all the more precious to him. He’s not crazy about the fact that you’ve clearly captivated at least half of the men in the room with your beauty and talent, but he knows you’re leaving here with him and it makes him feel rather smug. As Din listens to you sing a love song about how you think about the man you love night and day, he indulges in a fantasy where the song is about the two of you, especially when you sing about spending your life making love to him. It’s easy to imagine especially when you keep looking over at him with such an outright flirtatious expression during the song.

Under the guise of performing, you let yourself look at Mando with all of the desire and love you’ve been keeping under wraps for so long now. You’re careful to let your eyes roam around the room, flirting with the other patrons too, but every time you turn back towards Mando you let your gaze soften a bit more. As the evening wears on, you let yourself sing all of your favorite love songs, telling Mando how you feel with each one, promising that you’ll love him forever, that you’ll never let him go, and how he’s the only one for you. You know you’re just pretending that he understands why you’re singing each one, that they’re all for him. The only song you can’t bring yourself to sing is Make You Feel My Love. It seems too personal, too private to perform in front of all these strangers.

The crowd at the cantina starts to thin out and you know you’ve been here much longer than Mando originally planned. You decide it’s time to bring this interlude to an end and thank your audience for their attention, playing one last song to say good night. When the music ends, you stand and take a small bow to the round of applause. You collect your tips and an additional unexpected payment from the bartender, along with several requests to come back again soon. Mando is back at your side and he places a hand at the small of your back guiding you out the door and into the snowy night. You expect him to pull away once you are out of the crowd, but he stays close to you.

“Thank you for that impromptu performance.” He deep voice rumbles in your ear as you head back to the Razor Crest, “It was a welcome distraction from those idiots and I appreciated not having to get into a bar brawl.”

“Anything to lend you a helping hand,” you reply warmly.

He nods, and then says, “You’re really very talented. You could do well for yourself, singing full time in a nice cantina or a casino somewhere.”

“Tonight was fun enough, but I’ve had my time singing in a cantina, it gets old faster than you think,” you tell him, “besides why would I give up the best job in the galaxy?”

“The best job in the galaxy?” Mando scoffs a little at that.

“Sure it is! I get to travel around all over seeing all kinds of planets and people, take care of the most adorable magic baby ever, and spend time with his amazing father.” Oops, did you just say that last part out loud?

Mando is quiet for a beat, but then he says, “You’re the amazing one.”

You’re too shocked to say anything more than a mumbled, “Thanks” and hurry towards the Crest.

Once aboard you check on the baby, but he’s already asleep, so all you do is tuck his blanket around him a little more and then climb up to the cockpit where Mando is readying the controls for take-off. Even though you’re still a bit embarrassed by your unplanned compliment earlier, his response has made you curious. You sit quietly as you leave the planet’s atmosphere and the ship makes the jump to hyperspace, the whole time racking your brain for the right words so that maybe you can finally give Mando a clue about your feelings. You’re about to give up, when he says, “You didn’t sing Make You Feel My Love tonight.”

“Ah, no, no I didn’t.” Maker, you want to tell him why, but the words are frozen in your throat.

“That’s my favorite song.” Mando finally admits to you.

“I thought it might be,” you say, “that’s why I sing it every night.”

“But not tonight?”

You take a deep breath. He’s giving you the perfect opportunity and you gather all your courage as you tell him, “It felt too personal to share such an intimate song with all of those people. When- when I sing that song, your song, it’s only for you.”

“My song?” You swear his voice gets deeper when he tries to clarify what you mean.

“Yes, that’s how I think of it now.” You look at his visor where you think his eyes must be, trying to silently confess to him what that song means to you.

“My song.” Mando repeats, before asking, “Do you know why it’s my favorite?”

“No, I- I really don’t. I just knew you liked it when you asked me about it a couple times.”

He’s quiet again for a moment and you wonder if he’s going to elaborate when he finally says, “It’s my favorite song because I imagine that you really mean what you’re singing, that you’re singing it to me for real.”

“I am singing it to you for real,” you finally confess, “I mean every word each time I sing it for you.”

“You are? And you do?” Mando seems genuinely surprised, “How- How is that possible?”

You smile at him and because you feel like you might as well go for it, you stand up coming closer to him and then you reach down and take his hands in yours, “It’s possible because you’re such a wonderful man, you treat me with respect, you’re kind, you let me be my annoying, loud self as much as I want--”

“I don’t think you’re annoying,” he interjects.

“And see, that, right there, you always make me feel good, you just make me glad to be around you, it’s one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you, why I am in love with you.” The words come tumbling out of your mouth and your chest feels tight, but then he squeezes your hands.

“I’m in love with you too, have been for a while,” he says softly. Then he tugs you closer to him until you’re sitting in his lap with his arms around you. He holds you close to his chest, and you can’t imagine how this could be any better, until you hear his rich baritone voice sing the last lines of the song to you,

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

Nothing that I wouldn’t do

Go to the ends of the universe for you

To make you feel my love

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for any future fics!

Tag list: @sleepwithacommunist @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @rueblogsthings @mackycat11 @tv-zepeda @remmyswritings @mudhornchronicles @boomtownboy @mandosboobiez @hoodjarin @haley7242

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x female reader #din djarin #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x female reader

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dovechim · 4 years

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a remedy for mondays 04 (m)

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

➾ 10.1k

➾ summary: all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.

➾ warnings: romantic sex, unprotected/ pregnancy sex, creampie, cum eating... the usuals

➾ a/n: thank you for following through with this series so far. im sorry for the wait, but here is the final part :) I also realised that part 3 was not on my master list, but that has been fixed. I hope everyone is keeping safe during these times.

enjoy, and a happy Monday to you :)

(some people asked to be tagged in this, I think @pjmcth... I and forgot who else 😅)

The first Monday off work, you have grand plans for yourself.

Grand plans that include sleeping in until noon, getting up only to stuff yourself with whatever is left in the kitchen, and then going back to sleep until its dark outside.

It’s your first off day in the longest time that you can remember, and you’ll be damned if you have to move any more than strictly necessary. Finally, it’s time for you to lead the lazy life that you’ve always craved for.

But the best laid plans never come to fruition, and you are left staring miserably at the clock at 7am, wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. Your body clock has been honed after all these years, and it simply will not let you rest. Instead of feeling warm and content, snuggled up in your bed under the covers, you just feel empty and wronged.

Scrolling through social media only delays the inevitable for so long. Looking at all the meaningless memes and watching countless video after video until you finally cry yourself back to sleep again.

When you next wake, it’s noon. You still have the leftovers of the stew that Jimin made the last time he was here, and you spoon it miserably into your mouth after heating it up, but everything tastes like sawdust. The side dishes from Granny are lying untouched in your fridge, and you can’t bear to look at it for a moment longer.

When you lie in bed, you stare at the ceiling motionlessly. Your thoughts are scattered and you can’t help but feel as if your body is not your own anymore. Maybe if you close your eyes, everything will go away when you open them next and this will be just a bad dream.

The first Monday you have without work was supposed to be the best one you’ve had in ages, but instead it passes over in a blur of misery.

The days blur into each other as you cage yourself up in your home, too tired to go out, but too awake to sleep either. It’s only by some primal survival instinct that you keep yourself fed, not to satiate the hunger pangs, but with the lingering consciousness in the back of your mind that whatever is growing inside you at this very moment needs sustenance too, even if you do end up throwing it all up anyway. You’re far too gone to cook anything for yourself, so at this point it’s only Granny’s side dishes that are keeping you alive. What you’ll do when they run out, you have no idea.

You actively avoid thinking about the pea sized bundle of cells growing inside you that very moment. Maybe it’s because you’re scared of having to face a reality where you really might be a single mother, or perhaps it’s because they remind you of a certain man that you loved and lost.

On the third day, your routine of lying in bed is interrupted by a loud and insistent knock on the door that doesn’t go away even when you attempt to ignore it. Dragging yourself to your feet, you pull on a sweater that you pick up from the ground, aware that you haven’t showered or combed your hair in days, but you don’t have any energy to spare in making yourself presentable.

You answer the door, already opening your mouth to tell the delivery person or salesman or whoever that they’ve got the wrong unit.

But it isn’t some stranger. It’s Granny’s kind, smiling face beaming at you as she reaches forward to grasp your hand through the bars of your gate.

“_______!” The way she greets you is as if she hasn’t seen you in years. She looks so happy to see you that it feels as if the whole world brightens up a couple of notches just from her smile alone.

“Gr-Granny! What are you doing here?” Her grip on your hand is warm and reassuring, and she only lets you go for a moment as you move to unlock the gate and usher her in hurriedly.

You’re ashamed at the state of your house. Dirty plates and cups everywhere, empty containers of food dumped in the sink. You are a mess.

But Granny doesn’t say a single word about it as she bustles in, and that’s when you notice that she’s carrying a large bag that she carts over to the kitchen. It’s once again filled with her side dishes, and she stocks all of them into your near empty fridge without a word.

“Granny… that must have been heavy to carry all alone. You shouldn’t have come all the way…” You hesitantly watch her as she organises your fridge for you.

“Nonsense. I only tried that delivery service that one time because all my friends were raving about it. But it turned out to be such a hassle to pack and address everything. I rather do it myself!” She says in a matter of fact tone as she finishes stacking the containers and turns around to face you with a fond smile. “And this way, I get to see how you’re doing too.”

Your eyes brim with tears almost immediately, and you inwardly curse the stupid hormones.

“How did you… how did you know my address?” You watch Granny, and she doesn’t seem to stop moving as she picks up plates, containers and cups, puts them in the sink and wipes down the table counter.

“I squeezed it out from Jimin, of course,” she chuckles at the memory. “Silly boy tried to stop me from coming all the way down here by myself, but when I said I wanted to bring you food…”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of him.

“But why me? What about Jimin? Shouldn’t you be bringing him food instead of me?” Worse still, the guilt threatens to overwhelm you with how selfless Granny is being, putting you over her grandson when you’ve been nothing but a curse to him.

Granny looks over at you with a confused frown on her face. “What? Jimin? He can take care of himself.” Her kind eyes are smiling as she turns to look at you.

And then it hits you, that she’s only being this nice because she thinks you’re pregnant. A lump forms in your throat as your eyes drop to your midriff. You can’t lead her on any longer. Granny deserves to know the truth, and like Jimin, she shouldn’t have been dragged into this whole mess in the first place.

“Granny… I have something to tell you.”

“Hmm? What is it, Puppy?” Her nickname for Jimin makes your chest ache, and you have to sit down for this. She is scrubbing the dishes at your sink, and the casual, fond way that she gives you his nickname makes what’s coming even worse. God knows you aren’t ready for the impending look of disappointment and anger on her face.

She’ll probably curse you and storm out. Maybe she’ll slap you with the kimchi she brought. Either way, you deserve it.

“Granny, I…” The words are stuck in your throat, and you just can’t find a way to word it. “We lied to you. Back when Jimin and I visited you and your family, and even before that. We… I wasn’t pregnant. We were only pretending to be so that…”

Your voice trails off, and you tire to think of explaining the whole story behind why you even pretended to be pregnant in the first place. You can’t think of a single thing to say that might explain why you deserve her forgiveness.

“I know,” Granny puts down the soapy plate that she was scrubbing. “I didn’t come here to bring you food just because of the baby. Or just because I thought you were pregnant. I came because I wanted to see you, and my silly boy was being so vague and avoiding my questions about you over the phone that I had to come down and see you myself.”

Her response catches you off guard. “Wait, you knew that we were pretending all along?”

Granny only smiles. “Not all along, dear. But when you were at my house, I was packing up the room that the both of you stayed in, and I found your bag of pads and tampons. Now, that wasn’t enough to make any solid conclusions, but combined with the fact that you weren’t showing yet…”

Your shoulders slump. “So you knew. Why didn’t you call us out on it? We were… we lied to you. No, actually, it was me all along. I dragged Jimin into this and made him lie to you. You should hate me, curse me, anything-!”

But Granny doesn’t do any of that. Instead, she approaches you, placing her hand on your shoulder in a warm, reassuring touch. “I could never hate you, Puppy. Not after I’ve seen how much Jimin likes you. You know, he used to be such a shy little thing. But after he met you, I saw how happy you made him. It’s like we all saw a side of him that only you could bring out.”

There is a moment of silence as you digest all this.

“And it’s not just because you made him happy either,” Granny continues. “______, it would be an honour to have you as an addition to my family. Baby or not. We all really like you. You’re strong, you work hard and you’re an intelligent young woman. What more could we want?”

“Granny…” your eyes brim with tears and they spill over, as you clutch her hand, feeling the guilt squeeze your heart over and over. Granny has treated you as part of the family from day one. She saw the good in you even when you couldn’t see it yourself. Her kind eyes and warm embrace makes you feel safe enough to pour everything out to her. The years of mistreatment at your job, all the humiliation that you endured from Bae Joohyun, how you got fired for committing fraud, and the ultimate irony of it all…

“Granny, I messed up. With Jimin. With everything. We said we’d try for a baby for real so that we wouldn’t get in trouble with the company, but they ended up finding out anyway, and now I’m really…” you stop to wipe your cheeks. “Really pregnant.”

A chuckle of disbelief leaves your lips. This is the first time you’ve said the words out loud, instead of just denying it and hoping that it will just go away on its own. You expect Granny to jump for joy or cry with happiness, but instead, she squeezes your hand.

“Does Jimin know?” She asks gently, handing you some tissues and stroking your hair.

Granny’s tender loving touch makes more tears well in your eyes. It’s been forever since you received the love and care that only a maternal figure can provide, and the thought itself reminds you of the tiny little spore that is probably growing inside you at this very moment. Your emotions are just all over the place, and one thought easily snowballs into another.

“No, he doesn’t,” you press the tissue to your damp cheeks, and it soaks through instantly. “I couldn’t tell him… not after everything I put him through. What kind of sick game would I be playing on him?”

Granny only lets you wallow in your ocean of self-pity for a tad longer before she tsks under her breath, straightening up.

“Well, that’s the least of your worries for now. If I were you, sweetheart, I’d think about suing that company of yours. Or at the very least, getting some kind of compensation from them.” Granny’s voice is a no-nonsense one, and it reawakens the rage and indignance that had been drowned out.

She’s right. Being down and feeling sorry for yourself like this is not going to accomplish anything. You’ve never been one to take things lying down, to take the cards as you’re dealt them, but somehow, somewhere along the way after working at this company, you changed. You got beaten down, slowly but surely, and you didn’t even realise it.

Hastily, you wipe your cheeks dry and try to push yourself to your feet. Your movements are fumbling. Where is that notebook with the evidence of all the mistreatments and humiliations you’ve endured over the years? If you’re going to retaliate, might as well mount a full scale attack against those corporate bastards.

But the lack of nutrition over the past few days gets to you, and your vision blacks out for a moment when you stand up, causing you to wobble dangerously on your feet.

Granny sees the look of resolute determination that comes over your face, and she reaches out to steady you. You make a weak attempt at reassuring her that you are alright, taking a few steps forward, but she stops you again.

“Where do you think you’re going, Puppy?”

“To- to get my notebook. And then… I need to get dressed.” Thoughts are racing through your mind of how you’ll storm into the office, fling the doors open with a cup of hot, steaming black coffee in hand and not-so-accidentally-

“You’re not going anywhere,” she says with a firmness in her voice that matches her grip as she forces you to sit back down.

Appalled, you open your mouth to argue back, but Granny shakes her head.

“Not until you’re eating properly and regaining your strength,” she clarifies, pushing up her sleeves once more. “And I’m here to make sure of that.”

The next few days, you’re treated like royalty. Even though you feel bad for making a woman of her age do all the housework, cook you meals with ten side dishes three times a day, Granny won’t have it any other way. Even when you try to sneakily help out with folding a piece of clothing or washing the dishes, all you get are looks of disapproval from the warm old woman, and you feel too bad to keep going.

You’ve never eaten so well before. Chicken, beef, fish, pork. Vegetables of every kind, roasted, stir fried, steamed and blanched, and plenty of fruits too. And along with all that are all the essential pre-natal vitamins that you’ve neglected to take up until now. Granny feeds you better than you could ever feed yourself, and you wonder how you lived without her all these years.

No wonder Jimin turned out so well.

Slowly, the colour begins to reappear in your cheeks. Your hollow, sunken face begins to fill out again, and you find yourself more energetic. Granny looks on with approval as you work at your desk, writing down a long list of everything you’ve ever wanted to say to Bae Joohyun. She listens with a beaming, proud smile on her face as you rehearse your figurative war cry, giving suggestions on where to embellish with more emotion, where to really let them feel the full extent of your wrath.

And on the day itself, she helps you pick out your outfit.

“This one, you look good in this,” Granny says finally, after you have tried on five different outfits.

You look at yourself uncertainly in the mirror, not used to what you see. The light makeup that you had applied for the first time in ages sits unfamiliar on your face. You’d given up on wearing makeup to work a long time ago. Your figure is clad in black from head to toe, dressed in a power suit that you could never bring yourself to wear. You had bought it on impulse years ago when it was on sale, and ever since then it has lived in the back of your closet, waiting to see the light of day. The lapels are made of satin, the suit jacket nips in at your waist snugly (thankfully not toosnugly, considering your current condition) and your legs are somehow longer than you remember them being in the tapered, slim fit dress pants.

Your hands linger on your lower belly for a moment, self-consciously turning to the side to see if it protrudes visibly. But at this stage, it’s barely visible. Then your gaze travels down to your bare feet, and Granny’s voice matches your thoughts.

“You should wear those,” she suggests, pointing to a pair of strappy, low heels that would compliment the outfit, lengthening your legs even more but still providing enough support so that you’ll be comfortable.

But you had something else in mind, and you have to tear your eyes away from the pair of plain old battered flats that you used to wear every day without fail. Similar to the power suit, that pair of heels has been sitting in your cabinet for as long as you can remember, never having the courage to wear it out.

“Women who wear heels with a suit are dressed to kill,” she says by way of explanation, and she sounds so logical that you can’t turn her down.

You bend down to pick up the pair of heels, placing them by the door as you head back to the kitchen, ushered by Granny, to finish the breakfast she made. Today it’s an omelette egg roll and soft tofu soup with pork slices. The egg roll has ketchup squirted on it in a smiley face, and you can’t help but laugh when you see it.

“Granny, I’m not five years old you know,” you pout at her, folding your arms in a gesture that would suggest otherwise. But the following grin on your face as you stuff your mouth with the warm, soft and savoury egg roll is unstoppable.

Granny only laughs as she sits down beside you with her own portion. “You and Jimin are the same. That’s how he likes his ketchup too.”

At the mention of Jimin, your chopsticks freeze in the midst of spearing another egg roll. Your hand shakes a little as you set the utensils down. The thought of running into him only to be faced with his cold look of rejection just chills you to the bone. There’s no way you could stomach that from him.

“What if… what if I see him?” You say in a small voice.

In all your practice runs, you had only gone over what to say to Bae Joohyun and HR. You kept yourself focused on the task ahead, not sparing yourself even a moment to indulge your emotions. But you hadn’t thought of what would happen if you run into Jimin, how you’ll tell him about the baby, or how you’ll make everything right again.

When you start to think about running into Jimin, your mind starts to overthink about what it’ll be like to step foot into that place again. The workplace that you suffered at for years, enduring all sorts of humiliation and injustice just to get to where you are right now. Your breathing involuntarily speeds up- some kind of post-traumatic response, and for a second, you think you might just chicken out of all this.

Just then, your phone placed on the table beside you lights up with a text.

Kim Taehyung: hey… um… i know it’s weird of me to be asking this since u already left us but… Kim Taehyung: if u can, can u come in today? we r rly shorthanded and could use ur help. Kim Taehyung: if it helps, bae joohyun said she’ll buy you a nice lunch if u can come in today. Kim Taehyung: please?

And then just like that, all the feelings of insecurity and cowardice disappear. The nerve of this fucking company. They fire you for fraud and then beg for you to come back and work for them for free? You honestly doubt that Bae Joohyun actually said that, but that’s not the point.

You can almost feel the rage heating up your entire body. Granny takes a look at your screen and tsks under her breath.

“I don’t know what kind of company that is, Puppy, but I’ve never seen one that treats its employees like that.”

Your fingers are trembling as you type back a reply. First, you type out a curt rejection, adrenaline filling your entire body as you imagine what Bae Joohyun’s reaction might be when she learns that for once in your entire miserable career working for her; you turned her down. But there is also a chord of fear that strikes you through the heart, borne out of an ingrained instinct to submit to your inner yes-man in order to please them.

You hesitate before pressing send, taking a moment to compartmentalise your emotions and think this through. There’s a chance that when you get to the office building, you might be turned away by security because you don’t have your access card anymore.

Deleting your entire message, you rack your brains to figure out how to field this situation to your advantage.

Up till now, they still think you’re this pathetic little girl who’d roll belly up to please them at a moment’s notice. They don’t even have the decency to feel a shred of guilt for asking you to come in and work practically for free.

Except you’re not intimidated by them anymore. Now, you are in the position of power.

And this is how you’ll take them down.

Holding your breath, you type out a short reply to Kim Taehyung.

You: I’ll be there at 10.

Granny nods her approval over your shoulder as you put your phone face down, not even bothering to check when Taehyung’s reply comes back.

“You know… I don’t think you’ll have to worry about Jimin. When he sees you dressed like that, he won’t be able to resist. He’ll fall at your feet,” Granny says with a mischievous smirk.

“Granny!” You chide her with a blush heating your cheeks.

“What? It’s true,” she says with a pout that looks oh-so-familiar. “Just be natural, Puppy. Say whatever that comes to mind. That silly boy is probably dying to see you but is too stubborn to come all the way here. Why, he probably looks a right mess too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been crying his heart out the past week.”

You start to open your mouth to contradict her, but all Granny does is push another egg roll into your mouth as she urges you to finish your breakfast. “Eat up, Puppy. You don’t want to be late.”

It’s funny what a change of outfit and shoes can do to a woman. It makes you feel like an entirely different person as you walk into the office building at 10 am on the dot. You’re no longer the meek little employee stuck in a dead-end job who can’t stand up for herself.

No, today you are brave, you are confident, and you are here to give back everything that’s been dealt to you all this while.

Security stops you as you enter. You’re already kind of used to this, since you were never once assigned with your own photo pass in all the time you worked here. Everyday, you had to sign in as a visitor and go through the security checks only for visitors, which more often than not, made you late for work when they hit a snag in the process every now and then. Being made to feel like a visitor at your own workplace does things to a person’s self-esteem, but you grit your teeth and remind yourself that this is the last time you’ll be doing this.

“Who are you here for?” A burly security guard asks you with a stern expression, even though he must have seen your face on a daily basis for the past few years.

“Kim Taehyung.” You say truthfully, and the guard just nods as he waves at you to put your bag through the scanning machine.

Waiting at the other end after having stepped through the metal detecting gates, you scoop up your bag and walk to the elevator. Seeing as it’s past the usual reporting time, it is empty, and your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the numbers go by on the elevator display.

When the doors open, you have composed yourself again, a straight face as you stride towards the doors. You wave your temporary access card and enter, once again struck by the ominous familiarity of the entire place.

Kim Taehyung spots you from his workstation immediately. “______!” He calls out your name in nothing short of a yell, and you fight the urge to cringe, watching as multiple heads turn around to look at you.

Including Park Jimin’s.

Granny was right. He does look a lot worse for wear. He resorts to hiding behind his enormous geek glasses again, blonde hair limp and dull over his forehead, his pretty brown eyes no longer have that warmth anymore. His usually plush, luscious lips are pale, and he looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.

Out of the whole office, even with multiple eyes on you and voices whispering out of curiosity, he is the only one you can look at.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Kim Taehyung is almost at your side as he spreads his arms in welcome. There is a wide grin across his face, not unlike how he was before. “We really, really need you here.”

Hearing those words makes you break the eye contact with Park Jimin to look at Taehyung. For a moment, you desperately want to believe that those words are true. And it makes you doubt yourself, makes you think that maybe this company isn’t so bad after all, maybe they do treasure you after all. If Taehyung says he needs you, then maybe they really do need you to help them out with a piece of work that no one else can do.

But no. They had years to realise your worth. Why are they only doing it now, after they fired you so unceremoniously?

So you placate him with a bland smile. “Sure. What would you like me to do?”

Taehyung practically skips to his desk. “Ok so we need you to go through some of the brochure material that we’ll be pushing out soon. Just another pair of eyes to make sure that we didn’t miss anything. I know you don’t have your laptop anymore, so you can borrow mine. Oh, and…”

You watch his eyes slide awkwardly to where your old desk used to be. In your absence, they had replaced the smaller desk with a full sized one, currently occupied by someone you don’t recognise.

“…uh, we’ll get you one of the empty meeting rooms to work in,” Taehyung motions for you to follow him, and it’s all you can do not to look in Park Jimin’s direction as you turn away. “You look great, by the way. Hardly recognised you.”

You clear your throat awkwardly as a way of responding as Taehyung sets his laptop on the table for you and plugs it in. He opens the required documents for you as you seat yourself in the hardbacked chair.

“So… here are all the things we need you to look through. Let me know when you’re done, okay? Thanks again, ______!” Taehyung beams at you as he lets himself out of the room.

Left alone, you relax a little. At least things seem to be going your way for now, even the parts you didn’t plan for. Minimizing the word document window, you open Microsoft Outlook and navigate over to Taehyung’s calendar. There, you scroll down to find Bae Joohyun’s calendar and all her appointments and meetings for today.

There. At 11.30am, she has a meeting with the Policy team, with HR in attendance. When you scroll down to the meeting details, you see that Park Jimin has been appointed secretariat for this meeting. You ignore the flutter of nerves that arise at the sight of his name to open up Taehyung’s instant messenger. What you’re doing could really get him in trouble, but then again, a part of you simply doesn’t care. He was complicit in all of this. You have no sympathy for him at all.

You send a quick instant message to one of the Policy team to let them know that the meeting has been cancelled so that you can hijack it for your own purposes. When they reply with an acknowledgement, you sit back in your chair, letting out a sigh of relief before quickly deleting any signs of evidence from his chat log history.

You spend some time going over what you prepared to say when you finally meet the witch, everything from past payrolls where you were underpaid for your overtime work, a draft from a lawyer threatening to sue for illegally divulging your medical information to a doctor’s letter proving your current pregnancy. Everything you need to take that witch on is right here.

A soft, timid knock sounds at the door, and you hurriedly gather everything into a pile and shove it into your bag. Can’t have your plan given away before you’re ready. You expect it to be Taehyung coming to check on your progress, but when the door cracks open, you see a flash of blonde hair, followed by a soft, sweet voice that you missed so much.

“Can I come in?” Jimin asks with his eyes trained on the floor in front of you.

“Come in,” your hands twist together out of nervousness, and you see that Jimin is carrying a cup in his hands as he approaches you.

“I uh… I brought you this. I know you need coffee every day at around this time, so…” Jimin gingerly places the cup on the table without taking a single step forward so that he remains as far away from you as possible. You can see that he is nervous, all the tell-tale signs are there. From the way he keeps running his fingers through his hair to the way he bites his bottom lip and avoids eye contact.

You never really realised it, but you do always go to the pantry at around this time for your before lunch coffee. It gets worse when you realise that Jimin used his cup to make you coffee, and as you stare at his beloved One Piece mug, you have to stop yourself from crying.

Jimin mistakes your silence for something else, and he clears his throat awkwardly as he takes another step backwards. “Well um… let me know if you need anything. I’ll just be… I’ll be outside.”

A part of you wants to call out after him. There are so many things you want to tell him, but before you can gather your scattered wits, he lets himself out of the room.

It’s okay. It’s the wrong timing anyway, you tell yourself in an attempt to calm down and put all thoughts of his sad puppy eyes out of your mind. There will be enough time to talk to him when this is all over. Right now, you have to gear up for the biggest battle of your life.

When 11.30am comes, you shut the lid on Taehyung’s laptop and let yourself out of the room. You know Bae Joohyun always likes to stroll into her meetings exactly 2 minutes late, so you take your time walking to the meeting room. When you are 10 steps away, you see her black clad figure just ahead of you. You watch her push open the meeting door, and you have to consciously fight against back the pulse of intimidation that runs through your entire body. You quicken your steps and push the door open after her.

Just as you’d hoped, the only people in the room are the witch herself, Kim Namjoon from HR, and… Park Jimin as the note taker. He looks surprised to see you in the room as he straightens his posture, eyes widened almost comically in the way that you’ve become all too familiar with.

“What’s this?” Bae Joohyun doesn’t look the least bit bothered, just continues to tap away on her special iPad without even looking up. “Why is she here? Isn’t this meeting with the Policy unit?”

Kim Namjoon looks flustered as he looks at you, gesturing with his chin for you to get out. When you don’t make a single move, he turns back to Bae Joohyun, visibly sweating. “Um… there must be some kind of mistake… _____, we could talk about this later?”

The way his voice rises in a desperate plea only makes the victory even sweeter.

“No. It’s not a mistake. I’m here to dispute the terms of my termination.” You take out your folder of evidence from your bag and drop it on the table. “Of course, we could invite our colleagues from the Policy Unit to sit in on this meeting as well, but something tells me that you won’t want them to hear about what I have to say.”

There is a beat of tense silence as Bae Joohyun contemplates what’s on her iPad screen. She hasn’t looked up even once since you walked into the room. She lets out a soft sigh, as if all this is beneath her and just a waste of her time. Seeing as you aren’t about to get her attention any time soon, you shift your gaze to Kim Namjoon.

“First of all, I would like to bring your attention to the unfair compensation that I have been subject to all these years. According to my calculations, I have yet to be compensated for 136 hours of overtime.” You push a stack of timesheets towards Kim Namjoon’s shocked face. “Time and time again I’ve submitted these, only for them to be rejected.”

Bae Joohyun doesn’t react at all.

“Secondly, I have consulted my lawyer about the illegal release of my medical information. He has advised me to take legal action both against the doctor who allowed my medical information to be leaked, as well as the company itself who illegally utilised the information.”

You pause for a moment to let the words sink in, and at the very same moment, you see Kim Namjoon’s face turn slightly green as he processes the meaning of this.

“Sure, you might be thinking that it’ll be easy to win a lawsuit against an individual like me, being a huge company and all that. But I don’t think it will reflect too well on your organisation as a whole, will it?”

Bae Joohyun blinks once, then taps a few times on her iPad so that the screen goes black. Then, she shifts her gaze to you, her face still unreadable, but you detect a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

“So? What’s your point?” She folds her arms and addresses you directly.

A good sign. A very good sign.

It’s time for the final blow. You brace yourself with your fists clenched by your side, aware of the mounting tension in the room. Namjoon is practically holding his breath, you can see him shaking in his seat with his eyes darting back and forth between you and Bae Joohyun. Jimin has given up all pretence of typing and hiding behind his laptop, and he is looking at you with nothing short of awe on his face.

You reach in for your last piece of evidence. “You are aware that in this country it is against the law to terminate a pregnant woman without a thorough inquiry? And if a pregnant employee must be dismissed, it has to be based on relevant and objective performance criteria?”

A small raise of her eyebrow as her head nods imperceptibly, but you can see Bae Joohyun’s expression waver.

“Yes… we are well aware of that. It is a policy I have helped to implement,” the witch says with a hint of pride in her voice.

A satisfied smile spreads across your face as you draw out the doctor’s letter. You can hear Jimin’s sharp intake of breath in the otherwise silent room, and the shifting in his seat as he leans his elbows on the table. His mouth is slightly open, but no words are coming out.

“According to this letter, you’ll find that I am currently almost 2 months pregnant. As such, having been terminated whilst pregnant without further inquiry or offer of wage compensation, I am entitled to further legal action against you and the company.”

You toss the letter directly to Bae Joohyun, and it lands heavily in front of her. You can see Jimin’s fingers twitch as his stare burns a hole into the letter, before looking back at you with an unreadable expression on his face. The witch herself lets out another sigh before meeting your eyes, completely ignoring the letter.

“We will look into raising a fair and just inquiry.” Her words are brief, and she casts a sideways glance at Namjoon as she says this, as if this was all his fault to begin with.

Namjoon, on the other hand, rushes to accept the blame. “O-of course! We will ensure that the entire process is as transparent and fair as possible.”

“No need for that,” you say with an indifferent wave of your hand, and the satisfaction grows when the witch herself does a double take.

“What… what exactly do you mean by that?” Bae Joohyun is unable to believe her ears.

Jimin is looking at you as if you just saved the world from total destruction. The admiration in his eyes can’t be hidden as he grins. Namjoon looks sick.

“No need for the inquiry,” you say just to make things clear. “I’m aware of how things are done at this company, and sad to say that it’s anything but fair. I’m quitting. Notice effective immediately. You’ll hear from my lawyer regarding the compensation that I owe for my notice period.”

You reach into your bag for the last envelope, tossing your resignation letter onto the table with a practiced ease. Then, you gather your bag and make your way out the door, Bae Joohyun’s shocked expression burned into your retinas.

It feels like you’re walking away from an explosion like the cool guys do in the movies. For once in your life, you feel like the protagonist of your own movie rather than the side character.

Everyone else in the office is still working quietly, so you escape the office without being pursued further. When you stop to press the lift button, you hear the doors fling open, and a panting Park Jimin appears.

“Wait!” Jimin has his hands on his knees. “Le-let me drive you home.”

His eyes grow desperate as the lift doors open.

You owe him an explanation too. You hold the lift button as you turn towards him. “Will you?”

The drive home is silent up until he parks in front of your apartment. Neither of you make a move.

“2 months?” Jimin finally breaks the silence. “When did you find out?”

“After… after they fired me. They called me with the results from the free checkup. That’s how I found out.”

“So you knew when I called you?” Jimin’s heartbroken voice stabs you right in the gut.

There’s no excuse you could make for yourself. “It- it’s true though. Everything I said.”

“What?” Jimin looks and sounds like a puppy that’s been kicked.

“I did drag you into all of this. It was selfish to use you as my excuse the first time, and I couldn’t let myself go down that road anymore. You made all my Mondays better, but I made yours worse. You don’t deserve this. You deserve so much better than me, than all of this-“

“-but I want this,” Jimin grasps your hand and pulls it to his chest. “I don’t care if it’s selfish. All this while you’ve been assuming that you dragged me into this, that I was the unwilling party all along. But have you ever stopped to consider for one second that I might want this too? With you? That you made my Mondays better too?”

When you take a moment to look at his face, the Park Jimin that you’ve come to know and love over the past few months, the familiarity of him soothes you. The plump cheeks, rounded eyes, and the special smile he always has just for you. And he’s right. Never had you thought that he might want this- because why would he? How could he?

“You want this? But… why?” You are incredulous, unwilling to believe.

“Because I love you. And the thing growing inside you right now,” Jimin lets his emotions get the best of him, all the better to say the words he’s been struggling to say ever since he saw you that morning. And maybe it’s not the most romantic, but it’s filled with sincerity at the very least. “I’m in love with you, rash decisions and all. The day where you dragged me into your mess was the best day of my life. My Mondays have never been the same since.”

You can’t help but laugh aloud at how realistic his confession is. Classic Jimin style, savage as always. At the sound of your laughter, Jimin grins also, slightly shy from just pouring out his feelings like that, but proud of himself all the same.

“Granny knows, you know,” you say in between your laughter. “She knows we were faking it all along. And- oh! She came to visit me, you should come in and say hi to her.”

“What?” His comical gasp only sends you into another laughing fit. “Since when?! You could have told me sooner! She’ll spank me so hard for lying to her…”

“She’s not the only one who’ll be spanking you,” you can’t help but tease him, the opportunity is just too perfect.

“Agh! Don’t talk like that when my Granny is involved!!” Jimin buries his head in his hands in embarrassment.

You tug at his hands, opening your side of the door. “You have to come in, at least! She’ll be so happy to see you. To see us together again. She was the one who helped me with all of this you know.”

You drag a grumbling and still embarrassed Jimin inside, stopping every few seconds to tease him about his red ears and pinch his cheeks.

“Oh come on, Granny won’t be mad when she sees how cute you look. Wait, no. She’ll insist to feed us like there’s no tomorrow. She’ll say you lost your chubby cheeks,” you grin at him as you unlock the door, fully savouring the bubbly feeling in your stomach that makes you feel as if you are floating.

“Isn’t it good, though? It means I lost weight,” Jimin places a hand on his own face, as if to gauge whether his cheeks have slimmed down or not, still fretting over how Granny will react when she sees him.

“No! Of course it’s not good! You shouldn’t be losing any more weight, you’re perfect as is,” you drop your bag at the door and kick off your heels, groaning in relief. “Granny! We’re home!”

“That should be my line,” Jimin mutters under his breath as he braces himself to see Granny. But minutes pass, and he doesn’t see his beloved Granny.

“Hmm? That’s strange. Where did she go? She was just here this morning,” you mumble to yourself, walking towards the kitchen and wondering if she might be too immersed in cooking, but then you spot a scribbled note tacked to your fridge.

I left for Busan already, Puppy. You did well… I’ll leave you two alone. Side dishes in the fridge! Stay safe!

“Oh? Puppy? Why did she write that note to me? How did she know I’d be here?” Jimin is confused as he reads the note from over your shoulder.

You can’t help but smirk at his confusion. “Sorry, but Granny decided that the nickname belongs to me now.”

As Jimin protests with a pout, you can’t help but smile at Granny’s thoughtfulness. Seeing that your thoughts are somewhere else, Jimin rests his chin on your shoulder to demand for your attention like a cute puppy.

You turn to him and your attention is drawn to one of your favourite parts of him- his lips. Noticing that they are still a little dry, you frown and reach inside your pocket, taking out your favourite lip balm.

“Hold still. I’ve wanted to do this since this morning,” you place a hand on his chin and uncap the lip balm, dabbing and swiping it gently across his full lips. Though slightly dry, his lips are so soft and pliable under your touch, and the way he closes his eyes to enjoy your touch has you clenching your thighs together. With every swipe of the lip balm, his bottom lip looks plumper, and you can’t help yourself any longer.

Carelessly tossing aside the lip balm, you chase after his lips with your own, tasting the sweet peach flavour of the lip balm and feeling just how soft and cushiony Park Jimin’s lips are. He makes the cutest surprised little sound, eyes open for a second before he kisses you back with equal fervour.

You make sure to scrape your teeth against his plush bottom lip, fulfilling one of the fantasies you’d been dreaming about since this morning.

When you break away, Park Jimin has a teasing smile on his slightly swollen lips. “I guess that’s an efficient way to put lip balm on for two people.”

“Shut up already,” you say before you start to giggle all over again, and Jimin takes this as an invitation to go in for seconds.

“Since… since Granny said she’d leave us alone… shall we?” Jimin is somehow endearingly shy even though the two of you aren’t strangers to this.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He tugs you into your bedroom eagerly, and on the way, you can’t help but grab a handful of his ass through his dress pants. Park Jimin pretends to be shocked as he turns around, arms around your waist as he makes you sit down on the bed gently.

“That’s sexual harassment, Ms.” His words contradict his actions as he runs his palms down your thighs, fingers dancing up your inner thigh.

“But I like your ass,” you say with a pout, imitating him and the way his cheeks puff up.

“I like yours better,” he says with an unabashed grin. “And I fucking love this suit on you. The moment you walked in this morning… I think Taehyung saw my boner.”

You can’t hide your squeal of embarrassment as you clasp a hand to your mouth, but Park Jimin only grins as he invites himself to undo the button on your pants.

“I said I really liked it… but I’m changing my mind. I want it off, now.” He bids you to lift your hips so that he can peel the pants off your legs, exposing your bare skin. His fingers on your skin makes your temperature skyrocket, and even more so when they tease at the edges of your underwear. He sees the damp patch in the centre, and glances upwards with raised eyebrows. “Are you wet already? I haven’t even done much yet…”

The cute way he glances through his bangs with the slight smirk on his lips makes you feel brazen. “I’m pregnant… I’m always wet these days.”

Park Jimin lets out a sharp exhale as he drags his thumb against the wet patch to feel for himself. You would be embarrassed were he not so clearly turned on by this, demonstrated by the urgency with which he pulls your underwear down and wedges his shoulders between your thighs. Without a single word, he kisses the inner flesh of your thighs, working his way up to where you need him the most.

It’s torture to watch his plush lips get closer and closer to your centre, until they finally envelope your swollen and aching clit. He wraps his lips around them and sucks, thick fingers digging into your inner thighs to keep them spread as he licks up every drop of your arousal. He eats you like a man starved, and your back arches under his ministrations. He gives your poor clit a break as he switches to broad flat licks with his tongue, and everything just becomes so much wetter. You can see that his chin is glistening, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest as he only spreads your legs wider, one thigh on each shoulder.

The lewd position in which you are in, seeing his golden head in between your thighs makes you want him even more. You are aching to feel him, to be closer than physically possible to him.

Jimin satisfies your hunger by introducing two fingers into you, and you whine at the stretch. His fingers have always been so deliciously thick, and he basks in your reaction.

“You like that? Like being filled with my fingers? Tell me how much you like it.” His vulnerable side shows through as he glances up at you while you thread your fingers through his soft hair.

“I missed this… missed you so much,” you voice comes out in a breathless whisper as you clench around him. You glance at him to see how he’s rolled back his sleeves to above the elbow, using his other hand to push his hair back and show off his forehead glistening with sweat and you swear you get a million times wetter at the sight.

“Like what you see baby?” Park Jimin shows off with a cocky little smile, pushing his hair back again just for good measure. He can feel how much wetter you are, and you can bet he’s not going to let this go just like that.

“Good looking bastard,” you swear under your breath as he rubs your clit with his thumb. “I sure hope our baby takes after you.”

“The good-looking part or the cocky part?” Jimin has the nerve to tease you, but you don’t have your wits to answer any more as he flattens his tongue against your clit, driving his fingers inside you just to send you over the edge.

Maybe it’s because you were deprived of his presence for the past week that this orgasm makes you realise how much you were starving for Park Jimin. Your thighs clench around him, shaking with mind numbing pleasure as he continues to thrust his fingers inside you.

He shows you no mercy as he continues to rub your clit slowly, the other hand stroking your inner thigh to soothe you. It’s characteristic of him, getting you used to the overstimulation whilst comforting you at the same time.

You push yourself up on your elbows, seeing the bulge in his dress pants and feeling the impatience fuel your actions. “I want to see you. Why are you still wearing these?”

He is preoccupied with licking the rest of you off his fingers as you struggle with the button on his pants, setting him free and reaching past his underwear to grasp his cock. The feeling of his thick length in your hands ignites a hunger inside you as you stroke him, running your thumb across his tip as he kicks away his pants. His abs tense as you palm his cock, and your mouth waters at the thought of running your tongue across them.

“I can’t wait to see you round and swollen with our baby,” Park Jimin says out of nowhere, his eyes hungry as he pushes your blazer off your shoulders, fingers working magic on the buttons of your shirt. He pushes that off your shoulders as well, eyes feasting on your breasts sitting so prettily in the cups of your bra. “And these. They’ll look so beautiful leaking with milk just for me.”

Jimin undoes your bra with ease, slipping the straps down your shoulders. He drags his thumb across your peaked nipple painfully slowly, then he pinches it sharply, eliciting a cry from you.

“The milk isn’t for you, it’s for our baby,” you remind him with a warning squeeze to his cock, sliding your own thumb through the messy tip.

Jimin meets your eyes with the cutest pout ever. “The baby can share. They’re not getting here for another few months yet.”

How he can look like a kicked puppy with your hands around his cock, you have no idea. The duality of Park Jimin will be the death of you someday. He crawls forward as your hands rid him of his last article of clothing, hungry to touch his bare skin and feel it against your own. Jimin makes sure your head is nestled comfortably against the pillows as he kisses his way down your body to your breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking, giving you a glimpse of what it would feel like when you do start producing milk later on.

You can feel his cock against your inner thighs as you cradle him with your body, feeling the hardness of his abs against your softer body, the curve of his ass. Jimin is still satisfying himself with sucking on your breasts, licking and teasing you to his heart’s content.

You twitch in response, feeling much more sensitive now that you’re a few months along, but Jimin looks as if he’s enjoying your breasts so much that you don’t have the heart to stop him. His fingers are delicately stroking your lower belly as he worships your breasts, muttering sweet nothings about how perfect you’ll be as the mother of his baby.

“Want your cock, now,” you urge him with your voice and reinforce it with your thighs nudging him into position. You feel the head of his cock blunt against you, and without taking his mouth off your nipple, he positions himself with one hand and enters you with a fluid thrust of his hips. As if he can’t take his mouth off your breasts for one second.

He continues to suck at your breasts as he fucks into you, the stretch of his cock and the welcome burn making you curl your thighs around him. Once he’s certain that you can take it, Park Jimin starts to pound into you with his cock, his rough thrusts contrasting with his gentle sucking and kissing.

He finally lets up with the assault against your breasts, pushing your thighs together and putting them on one shoulder. This suddenly display of strength has you gushing on his cock, and it only strokes his ego even more.

“You like getting fucked like this? Hm?” Jimin punctuates his filthy words with a particularly hard thrust that you can feel all the way to your cervix. “You like getting fucked so much, it was only a matter of time till you got knocked up like this.”

He watches your breasts bounce so deliciously, knowing that it is because of his fucking.

“I love it, fucking love it. Love you,” your reply is disjointed, every thrust of his hips sends his cock so deep inside you. “Want you to keep fucking me.”

“I will, baby don’t worry,” he places one hand on your hip and the other just under your breasts as he buries himself deep. “Give you all the babies you want.”

“Want you to cum inside me, give me all your cum,” you watch as his expression twists in pleasure, his cock twitching inside you as he pulls out almost all the way, only to slam back in. “Fill me up the way you did when you fucked a baby into me. Then I want you to fuck your cum into me.”

“Ahh, fuck,” he swears harshly under his breath, you always know just how to get him. Your cunt is so tight and warm around him, everything is so wet and he’s missed the feeling of you wrapped around him. He holds a tender hand to your lower belly. The thought that you’re giving him a baby, and he gets to be the one to hold you and fuck you and kiss you makes him feel like the luckiest man in the world. “I’ll come so soon.”

“Cum for me baby please,” you play with your nipples, putting on a show for him as he groans, thumb finding your clit as he struggles to hold himself back. “Want to feel your cum inside me. I want to be dripping with your cum.”

Jimin quickens his pace on your clit as his thrusts start to become sloppy, and he throws back his head as his abs tighten. With three more thrusts, he buries himself as deep as possible into your warm cunt, feeling himself unleash ropes of cum into your depths. You can feel how warm and sticky everything is, and the feeling of his cock pulsing inside you sends you into another orgasm as well.

True to his word, Jimin doesn’t pull out immediately, giving you lazy little thrusts to fuck his cum back into you as if the two of you were still trying to get pregnant. It’s the little, silly things that he does- making you prop your hips up, pulling out his cock so slowly and plugging you up with his fingers that makes you fall even deeper in love with this fool.

“I heard cum is good for the cervix if you’re pregnant,” he says by way of explanation as he watches globs of cum escape from your lips. He indulges himself by spreading it a little, before pushing it all inside you. “Softens it so you’ll have an easier birth.”

“Bullshit,” you giggle at him. “Next thing you’ll be telling me is that cum facials make me look younger.”

Jimin frowns indignantly. “I would never say something as ridiculous as that!” He’s never really been into painting your face white with cum, he’d rather save it all for your sweet pussy. “But that cervix one really is true- I read it on the internet!”

Jimin swipes two fingers through the mess that is your pussy, bringing it to his lips for one last suck before he cuddles in beside you. Suddenly, he freezes.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I? I didn’t hurt you?” He runs his hands down your body as if to check for any sore spots.

“It’ll be a while before I’m at that stage- so we should have all the kinky sex now before I’m too fat for you to tie me up,” you reassure him with your hand over his.

Jimin releases a breath against the back of your neck. “Kinky sex hm? I could be down for that.” There is a moment of silence as he draws mindless patterns on your lower belly, and your eyes flutter closed before you hear his soothing voice again. “I’m so excited to see our baby. I want more babies after this. Hey, we should have a gender reveal party. Or a baby shower. For real this time.”

It’s so adorable that he’s so excited about all this. “We should invite Yoongi too. I think they should have popped out their baby by now. I want to put Yeji to shame by being hotter than she was when she was pregnant.”

“Of course baby,” Jimin muffles his laughter into your shoulder. “We’ll do that.”

You hear your phone ping from somewhere far away, and it wakes you up just as you’re about to drift off to sleep. You stir Jimin awake with your elbow and make him fetch your phone for you. With many grumbles about how he better get extra kisses for this, he leaves the bed for a moment, and deposits your phone in your hands before snuggling back under the covers.

You unlock your phone and open your mail app. Your delighted gasp wakes Jimin once more, and he’s wide awake the next moment.

“What is it!? Did the baby kick?” He doesn’t stop to think when he’s alarmed, but it’s adorable.

“It’s too early for that,” you say as you do a double take at the words on your screen. You can feel the smile spreading across your face as you read the email again. Jimin sits up in bed and squints at your phone screen.

“I got a job offer!”

#bts smut #bts #bts park jimin #bts park jimin smut #bts jimin smut #btssmutclub

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snezfics-n-shit · 4 years

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Home For The Holidays - An AA fic that’s way too long

I’ve been thinkin bout that post that’s like “character with the kink is sneezing a lot and their partner who usually indulges them is having fun with How The Turns Have Tabled” so now I give you a Wrightworth + snzfcker Phoenix fic based on that exact premise. In which Phoenix re-introduces Miles to Mama Wright, Christmas is celebrated for 2 months straight, and disaster man Phoenix is back on his bullshit.

Tbh if I kept this lying around I’d just keep editing and it’d never get done oof but please enjoy

Phoenix’s mother had clearly purchased a new doorbell. The tune echoed from behind the door at the press of the button; this year, it was much louder and played Jingle Bells a month too early. Speaking of a month too early, other than a rather articulate variant of a ‘no soliciting’ sticker, the decorations on the door were Christmas themed as well, completely skipping Thanksgiving and likely put up the day after Halloween. That was just how Mrs. Wright was: a major Christmas enthusiast through and through.

Just as expected, she greeted her son and his family while sporting a comfy Christmas-themed sweater. Cats in Santa hats, a design that had Trucy in awe at how cute they were. Christmas and cats, two of Mrs. Wright’s joys in life. Mrs. Wright had little contact with family members other than Phoenix and Trucy, so she resolved a lot of the resulting loneliness by adopting cats. The cats she adopted were a lot like her, having few blood relatives around and finding a home in a found family.

“Phoenix! You’re early!” Mrs. Wright looked up and down at her son, assessing just how many extra pies she would need to make; he was skin and bones since he had been disbarred! “You didn’t have to shave before you came, dear. The holiday is this Thursday, so you have time to make yourself look nice.”

“You tell me that every time I visit, mom.” Phoenix chuckled. “Today, I have a good reason to look nice. There’s someone I’d like for you to meet.”

“Well, I know I’ve met your adorable daughter before.” Mrs. Wright leaned down to give Trucy a big hug. “You have no idea how happy I am to have a grandbaby to spoil!”

“You tell me that every time, too.” Phoenix stepped to the side, showing off Miles, who had done a spectacular job at hiding behind him before the big reveal. “This is my boyfriend, Miles Edgeworth. I’ve been meaning to tell you since we started dating, but only now does he have a day off where you can finally meet in person.”

“Wait, Miles?” Mrs. Wright blinked a few times. Miles was certainly as well dressed as the boy she remembered Phoenix bringing home so many times, but was he the same person? “That sweet boy who would always help me with the dishes when he stayed over? This is him?”

“I believe so, Mrs. Wright.” Miles hardly remembered his youth well enough to give a definite answer, but that sounded like something he would have done. It sounded like something he would do even now, actually.

“Sounds like you found yourself a keeper, dear.” Mrs. Wright held the door open wider to let the trio in. “It’s awfully chilly today. Come inside before you catch a cold.”

The walls were lined with framed pictures of Phoenix, with unsurprisingly many of which being of him celebrating Christmas. The trend continued even with pictures of Trucy that Phoenix had sent to his mother. While there weren’t nearly as many, there were a few notable photos of Phoenix’s parents: the pictures taken when they renewed their wedding vows and when Mrs. Wright got her associate’s degree after Phoenix started working with Mia, for example.

“Ah, now I remember.” Miles looked a little uncomfortable with the holiday-centric décor. “Your mother’s Christmas obsession.”

“Be nice.” Phoenix whispered. “It’s something she really likes; it’s not hurting anyone.”

“I love Grandma’s reindeer!” Trucy lifted herself with her tiptoes, eager to see the skillfully crafted wooden reindeer lining the shelf above the shoe rack. “Rudolph’s my favorite! Because he made everyone real sorry for making fun of him!”

“He did, didn’t he?” Phoenix slipped off his shoes and hung up his and Miles’s coats on the coat rack. “I like him, too. He had a talent that really turned Christmas eve around.” That sounded much like how he used to be in the courtroom. He missed that courtroom a lot.

“I’m gonna go find Buster!” Trucy ran off. Buster was one of Mrs. Wright’s cats; his big personality quickly made him Trucy’s favorite. Phoenix, however, was more fond of Doily (formerly Dollie), a friendly and relaxed cat who was happy as long as she had somewhere to sit. There were three more: a senior cat named Gerald, a gray tabby named Della, and a new kitten named Harvey. While it seemed like a lot of cats, the home Phoenix’s parents resided in after Phoenix left for Ivy University was specifically picked to be spacious enough for even the most rambunctious cats.

“I believe you told me you wanted to introduce me to your parents’ cats, correct?” Miles followed Phoenix to one of the living room couches. “And you’re sure they’re not aggressive or anything?” While Miles knew dogs had a history of being working and companion animals, he couldn’t exactly say he had read any solid proof of cats earning a similarly high status. Even the nicest cats he had met always seemed more interested in leaving as many scars on his hand as possible than being friendly with him.

“I can vouch for all but Harvey, since he’s new, but my mom has always been something like a cat whisperer.” Phoenix yanked a tissue from the end table next to the couch’s arm rest. “I’m sure they’ll like you a lot.” He smiled before blowing his nose softly. “My nose must be thawing out.” He chuckled.

“I told you to bring your scarf when I called you.” Mrs. Wright called out from the kitchen. “Now you’re catching a cold, aren’t you?”

“No, I feel fine.” Phoenix rubbed the bottom of his nose with the tissue folded in half. “Just part of warming up.”

“I’m surprised you’d forget your scarf for someone who claims going out with a wet head spells ‘pneumonia.’” Miles hummed.

“Hey, you know it’s not scarf weather.” Phoenix chuckled and tossed the tissue into the trash bin, impressed that he made the shot. Miles found it amusing that Phoenix completely ignored the wet head comment, likely because he really did tell Miles and Trucy that all the time. “It is the perfect weather for mom’s homemade stew, though.”

“I’m eager to try it, considering you’ve been talking it up since she called to invite us over.”

“It’s really good!” Phoenix repeated the claim he had been making for weeks. “I can’t wait for you to try it.” He pressed his knuckle against his nose. “Hopefully it’ll be dinner soon.”

“That won’t be for a while, I’m afraid.” Mrs. Wright carried some glasses of water to the living room. “Your father is working late tonight.”

“What does he do?” Miles leaned forward.

“He works in construction. He’s very proud of his work.” Mrs. Wright smiled as she placed the glasses of water on the coasters sitting in front of Miles and Phoenix. “Before Phoenix was born, where he worked didn’t earn him nearly enough to support us. He’s been much happier ever since he’s found somewhere that lets us live comfortably.”

“Where did he work before, if you-” Miles was cut off by the sound of Phoenix blowing his nose again. “If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“He worked with his father and other members of the community he grew up in.” Mrs. Wright explained. “It was actually looked down upon to earn the income we needed, or to even have a dream job. That’s why we’ve been so supportive of Phoenix pursuing his dreams; if he wanted to change his major a second time, we would have gladly let him.”

Miles couldn’t imagine being actively discouraged from achieving success. He assumed that pressure was always the other way around. He wasn’t able to lose himself in his curiosity, though. Phoenix’s deep sniffing made sure of that.

“Phoenix?” Mrs. Wright cocked her head. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Yeah, really.” Phoenix waved his hand as if to dismiss any concerns. “I’m sure this’ll stop before dinner.” His breath hitched for a second, but nothing came of it other than an exhale through his mouth.

“If you say so.” Mrs. Wright stood up and left for the kitchen. “I’m going to work on the desserts, so you two just relax and drink your water. I think you need eight glasses a day.”

“Daddy! I found Buster!” Trucy cradled the fluffy orange cat like a baby, Buster’s favorite way to be held. “He let me hold him this whole time! He’s so nice!” Phoenix gave Miles a reassuring smile, pointing to Buster as proof the Wright cats were much friendlier than past cats Miles had met.

“Hey there, Buster.” Phoenix beckoned Buster to sit on his lap. “Wow, he’s really liking me today.” He blinked a few times. “Normally he just walks away when I ask for him to sit next to me.”

“Maybe he can smell that you’ve been spoiling Pess,” Miles joked, “and he wants you to spoil him as well.”

“Cats are pretty smart. Ah!” Phoenix reached for another tissue, squeezing his eyes shut as he blew more heavily than the last time. “Guess I wasn’t done.” He laughed, dabbing the corners of his eyes. “But yeah, I think you’re right.”

“I hope he’ll like me as much as he likes you.” Miles reached to pet Buster and was shocked to hear the loud purrs the cat made. Buster was so soft, Miles thought he could pet him forever; there weren’t even any claws out. “He’s actually letting me pet him.”

“I told you so.” Phoenix sniffed. “Buster is really friendly. My parents have had him for almost as long as we had Doily. She’s my favorite. I’d show her to you but she’s probably asleep right now.” He pressed the back of his wrist against his right eye, putting on some pressure as he rubbed absentmindedly. Dropping his hand revealed the area around his eyelid to be a tad pink.

“Are you tired from the trip, love?” Miles removed his hand from petting Buster to caress Phoenix’s cheek. “Maybe you should lie down for a while.”

“Yeah, I usually do that when I visit mom alone, actually.” Phoenix gently picked Buster up to gently place on Miles’s lap, laughing softly as he watched Miles light up in fascination with Buster’s sociability. He disposed of his tissue before poking his head into the kitchen doorway to find his mother and Trucy taste-testing desserts. “Uh, hey, mom?”

“Yes?” Mrs. Wright looked up from the tray of finger food desserts. Quite a few were already gone, but knowing her, there would be more by the time she brought out her famous pumpkin pie.

“I’m going to lie down for a while. I should be up for dinner, though.” Phoenix directed his attention to his daughter, whose whipped cream decorated cheeks were proof she had her share of the desserts. “And Trucy?”

“Yes, Daddy?”

“Try not to eat too many sweets or you’ll spoil your appetite.”

“Okay.” Trucy nodded and proceeded to put another small dessert in her mouth.

“Go ahead and get some rest, dear.” Mrs. Wright sighed at the sight of Phoenix’s face. “You do look pretty tired. Your bedroom should be ready, but you might need to convince Doily to let you have some room on your bed.”

“Doily’s always been my sleeping buddy here, so I don’t mind.” Phoenix assured. He made his journey upstairs, sniffling once or twice and noting he needed to blow his nose again. The sight of only two twin sized beds in the guest room was disappointing, but considering Miles was a surprise additional guest, it was more Phoenix’s fault for not allowing his mother more time to make the appropriate accommodations. Maybe he and Miles could alternate between the bed and the living room couch while Trucy kept her bunny themed bed throughout the week of their stay.

As predicted, Doily was sleeping on Phoenix’s pillow and needed just a gentle nudge to let him have somewhere to put his head; not enough to chase her off the bed completely, just enough to make some room.

“Hey, Doily. Did you miss me?” His vision grew slightly blurry and his eyes felt wet. Phoenix didn’t remember yawning, but he must have been really tired. “I could use a nap, too, so I’d like you to… hh… to-- Hh’TTCCHHHhh!” He kept his tongue at the roof of his mouth as if that would quiet the sound. Despite his efforts, he scared Doily off the bed completely. “Ngh… Sorry.” He sniffled with his hand pressed under his nose. Maybe he was coming down with a cold after all.

He slid himself under the blanket, admittedly afraid of how he would be feeling whenever he would wake up. If he was getting sick, maybe it wasn’t completely bad, considering he was staying with his mother. His mom was good at that sort of thing, even long after he moved out on his own.

When the back of his head hit the pillow a deep, aggressive itch attacked the back of his eyes and sinuses. How was he supposed to sleep like this? No matter how hard he pressed, alternating between rubbing his eyes and nose, it only seemed to get worse. Was that his pulse? Behind his eyes?

“A’aschhHUUH! Aa’SSCHHHOOUuh! T’TTCHHuuh!!” He sat up, only just having a moment to get some air before he started again. “T’SHCHUUH!! TT’CHHHOOUH!!”

“Sweetheart, sorry to disturb you, but--” Miles stopped in his tracks at the sight of the state Phoenix was in. “Are you… feeling alright?”

“This has to be the weirdest cold I’ve ever had.” Phoenix squinted as he sniffled thickly. “I just wedt to lie dowd ahd-- Hh’TTTCHHOOH! I cad’t stop sdeezi’g.”

“I see.” Miles kept his mouth shut regarding how this was the exact sort of thing he’d tell Phoenix to make him flustered. He did, however, thought it would be amusing to see Phoenix’s face when offered a handkerchief. “Here, you could use this.” Phoenix didn’t look flustered at all, simply desperate as he took the handkerchief and sneezed thrice into it. What a shame. “You were fine when we left home.”

“That’s what’s so weird about it!” Phoenix aggressively rubbed at his face. “Dot to bedtiod everythi’g itches.”

“That doesn’t sound like a cold, love.” Miles wiped some of the tears from Phoenix’s face with his thumb.

“I feel pretty sick.” Phoenix muttered before blowing his nose again, unsure why he was even bothering at this point.

“I imagine you do.” Miles kissed Phoenix’s very wet cheek. “Poor thing. Do you have any ideas on what’s making you feel so bad?”

“Nope.” Phoenix shook his head. “I kinda just started a little bit when we got here and-- Aa’SSHHOOUH! T’TSSCHHOOUHh!! *snf* I can’t stop since I came upstairs.”

“Maybe you’ve developed an allergy to cats?”

“Don’t even joke about that!” Phoenix scolded, taking offense. “They’re my family!”

“I’m not joking. It’s a genuine possibility.” Miles made a small gasp and looked at his hand. “I touched your face after petting one of them, too. I’m so sorry.”

"Don't be sorry because I'm not allergic to cats." Phoenix huffed. He pushed the blanket off his lap and stood up, not wanting to discuss the topic further. “I’m going back downstairs.”

“Alright.” There was no point in arguing. If Phoenix was going to be so stubborn about this, then Miles just needed to make the best of the situation.

Miles followed Phoenix down the stairs, briefly interrupted when Phoenix needed to stop halfway so he could sneeze again.

“Bless you, sweetheart.” He thought saying that might push the envelope a little.

“Are you baki’g fud of be?” Phoenix glared at him through red, damp eyes.

“I wouldn’t dare.” Miles answered sincerely. “You just sound so awful.” Okay, maybe he was having a little fun, nudging Phoenix to hopefully see the amusing irony of his circumstances.

Phoenix grumbled something as he dragged himself to the kitchen, clearly still annoyed with Miles for what he had said earlier.

“I thought you were napping, Daddy.” Trucy looked up from a tall glass of chocolate milk. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“He couldn’t get any sleep, from what I can tell.” Miles leaned against Phoenix’s shoulder.

“I’m pretty sure I’m getting sick.” Phoenix scratched the back of his head.

“Oh, I knew you’d catch a cold standing out there without a scarf.” Mrs. Wright gently pushed Phoenix on the way to the living room. “Rest on the couch and I’ll get you some blankets.”

“I told you, it’s just a cold, really.” Phoenix made eye contact with Miles the whole time as he blew his nose with a fresh tissue.

“Perhaps you’re right.” Miles lied and kissed the top of his boyfriend’s head. “I certainly hope you’ll feel well enough to join us for dinner on Thursday.”

“Of course I will.” Phoenix insisted just before Mrs. Wright draped a large blanket over him. While Phoenix thought nothing of it and the intense itch that followed, Miles needed to hold his tongue as he watched short hairs floating around in Phoenix’s general direction. “T-Thanks.” He stuttered as he fanned his face with his hands, truly a sight Miles wished he could comment on with honesty. “Aa’IIISHHHUUH! T’TCHHUUh!! Ugh. Ow.”

“Your poor nose.” Miles cooed. “It must be so tiring, sneezing like that.”

“It is.” Phoenix furiously rubbed at his eyes. “Agh, my eyes, too.”

“They’re really bothering you, aren’t they?” Miles played up his sincere concern. “Driving you crazy, I bet.” He dropped a hint, hoping that extra pink in Phoenix’s face wasn’t just more released histamine. In the corner of his eye was Doily, who was staring intently at Phoenix. “Hey, little one.” Miles leaned over to pet the cat. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay here like that.” He whispered, not wanting to further offend Phoenix.

Doily, being hardly fluent in human suggestion, hopped onto Phoenix’s lap anyway.

“Doily, did you come to check up on me?” Phoenix could hardly keep his smile in place before he started sneezing again. “Gh… Sorry, Doily.” He scratched behind Doily’s ears; the sound of his sniffling accompanied her purring.

“Um, sweetheart?”

“I know what you’re about to say, and I still say no.” Phoenix pet Doily with both hands, almost out of spite.

“No, that’s not exactly--”

“Daddy! You found Doily!” Trucy stared at Phoenix and the purring cat for a while. “What’s wrong with your arms, Daddy?” Miles took hold of Phoenix’s right arm.

“Hey! You’ll scare her away again!” Phoenix protested, not even paying attention to what Miles was doing. Just as he warned, Doily was startled by the sudden movement and ran off somewhere else in the house.

“Hives.” Miles observed bluntly. “Trucy, dear, could you ask your grandmother to find some benadryl?” Phoenix raised no objections to that, which Miles hardly minded at all.

“Okay, Papa Miles!” Trucy ran off to find Mrs. Wright, leaving Phoenix and Miles alone to hopefully reach an agreement.

“Well, what happens now?” Phoenix looked down. “Do I just never visit my parents again?” Was that his way of saying Miles was right?

“Of course not, love.” Miles massaged the blotchy areas of Phoenix’s arm. “You’ll just need to be more careful, which you’ve been failing to do a lot lately. Feels like everyday I need to pull you out of trouble.”

“I can’t eat mom’s cooking if I’m asleep, though.” Phoenix let his head hit the soft back of the couch.

“Then we’ll pick up something non-drowsy while you’re resting this evening.” Miles made it sound so easy. In fact, everything he had been saying recently sounded just so… so… Oh.

“You’ve been talking like this on purpose.” Phoenix accused, punctuated by a thick sniffle. There was that flush Miles was looking for. “Is that what I sound like?” He hid his face behind his hands.

“I took some creative license.” Miles smirked before kissing Phoenix’s cheek. “I was starting to get worried when you said you ‘couldn’t stop sneezing’ with a straight face.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“And miss out on all this fun? I think not.”

“So is this all-- T’TCHHHOOH!” Phoenix pressed his hand under his nose, giving his voice even more of a nasal quality. “It’s all just payback, huh?”

“Not quite.” Miles held Phoenix’s free hand with both his hands. “You always make me feel so attractive even when I’m looking like you do right now.”

“That’s because you can pull it off.” Phoenix finally managed to chuckle.

“And so can you.” Miles didn’t let Phoenix protest that, shushing him with an index finger pressed to his lips. “I may not know one hundred percent how you see me, but I’d like you to feel every bit as special.”

“Miles!” Aha! Now Phoenix was very red in the face. Mission successful, if Miles said so himself. “Maybe when I don’t hear my mom’s footsteps coming down the stairs.”

#sneezing #snez #snz #sneeze kink #snez attorney #my fics #my writing #this took 5 million years but here you guys go

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sooghostwriter · 5 years

Text

Chef Soo. Three meals a day

Pairings: Do Kyung Soo x OC (Nameless, but I refuse to use Y/N)

Genre: Romance, AU (?), fluff, slow burn (?), crazy story, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

Dinner: Chicken Stew

The sample and the buyer

She was one of those young millionaires. She had just won her first million after opening her startup with her business partner. She always dressed well, not in high heels or two-piece suits, but she owned a Gucci backpack, and his friend Jongin said it was very expensive. She also had a very expensive smartwatch and phone. But those were the only rich person thing she had. She was sweet, down to earth, funny, and very polite. She visited his small restaurant when she got her first big deal and haven't stopped coming there since then. Almost every day of the week. By herself or with her coworkers. She never ordered anything, she only told him "Give me whatever you want, I trust you" The first time she did that, he almost had a breakdown. That was way too much responsibility. It amused him that she kept doing it after becoming a regular client. Kyung Soo never asked her why she did that, he didn't have the guts. After a couple of months of serving her whatever she wanted he began cooking especially for her. He knew she liked spicy food, so he prepared a special batch from that day’s menu and added wasabi to it. He realized he liked her when he began cooking just for her. A single portion, a dish that didn't figure on that day’s menu. Maybe a dish that he wanted to try out, or maybe that day there was an especially big abalone at the market so he would buy it and cook it especially for her. One day he almost got caught. She and another two coworkers came for dinner. They asked for that day’s vegetarian menu, and she only smiled at him. She didn't have to voice her wish anymore. That day he cooked her a portion of homemade ravioli. Then another coworker arrived and asked for her dish. He panicked for a while until he found the perfect excuse "That was the last portion, sorry" That was the only close call. In general, their relationship was very business-like. They spoke on first-name basis though, but nothing more.

---

She was walking down the street with Junmyeon, looking for the best place to celebrate their first big deal with the biggest app developer of the country. They passed by several bars, but they needed more than a beer. She stopped in front of a small entry with a small but elegant sign that said, Chicken Stew. There was a nice sent coming from inside the place and it looked cozy. The thermometer outside was marking some good 2 degrees, so they got inside without thinking too much about it. Inside there was an open kitchen and some tables scattered around the place. The place was really warm, decorated with simple pieces but very assertively. There were some tables free, one of them just in front of the kitchen. She dragged Junmyeon to that table and sat down feeling excited. She wanted to celebrate with her friend and colleague but also enjoy some good food. That night they settled for a bottle of good wine and two portions of Chicken Stew. They had a small but delicious menu available at night but they settled for the Chicken Stew because it was the recommendation of the Chef, Kyung Soo.

--- Chicken Stew was Kyung Soo’s baby. At a young age, he had decided to become a chef. Not only because he wanted to cook, or because he enjoyed following recipes or coming up with his owns. He wanted to be a chef because he liked giving people food. Not only for their compliments. Watching a person sigh in happiness with the first spoon full of food, bringing spoon after spoon to their mouths too quick for their well-being was what filled him with pride. He saw his job as an art, although it could sound a little bit too full of himself it felt like art. But opening his own restaurant was an odyssey. No bank trusted a young chef. Rent was expensive and the price of kitchen supplies was only reasonable if that industrial kitchen was made of gold. It was impossible for him to open his restaurant with his savings and the money his dad could borrow him. He was about to take a job on a cruise, just so he could save money, when a friend gave him an idea. It was a new thing that had arrived in Korea, but it was already well known and popular around the world. Sperm banks. “My sister and her husband bought a sample from them, since they were having issues conceiving” His friend told him “Of course it is super secretive and all, the pay is super good, you should try it” And he did. Taking advantage of his privilege as a man. Because getting a sample wasn’t that hard, he had been getting samples since he was fourteen. The nice nurse gave him paperwork to sign, his check and a number and also made a very nice comment about his appearance and how healthy he was and how popular those kinds of samples were “Your sperm could be useful for you someday, so save this number, is the number of your sample” 1313. What a coincidence, it was the number of the place he wanted to rent, and it was perfect for his restaurant. So that morning after leaving the clinic, he went straight to the real state agency and put the deposit for his soon to be restaurant and then called his friend Jongin offering him a job.

--- Since she was a teenager, she had two dreams. Being her own boss and become a young mom. She always hated having someone telling her what to do, like everybody. And growing up with parents like hers, specifically a mother like hers, she always believed that becoming a mom before turning 30, a young mom, was the way to go. But to do that she had to become the boss first. It happened before she had planned it. She was 27 when she and Junmyeon got their first check for more money she could have ever imagine. As she put her signature on the contract she kept repeating to herself that today was day one of the quests of becoming a mom. When they entered Chicken Stew and she saw the cute chef behind the counter she thought to herself: I bet he could make some cute babies.

--- It was very amusing to her how she never considered a man on this plan of becoming a mother. In a beginning she did. But every boyfriend was a disappointment. A one-night stand could do the job, and yes she could get pregnant, but also she could get a nasty STD. She considered inviting Junmyeon into the project. And she was sure he would help her. But she felt kind of shitty offering him to be a silent partner when she knew how much he craved to have a family in the future. But he gave her an idea that she could only expect from a businessman like him “In-vitro” He said as he was munching his dessert. It was lunchtime and they were seated at the back of 'Chicken Stew'. She had already finished her fettuccini Alfredo that Kyung Soo served her and skipped dessert because she was already full “I don’t know why you haven’t thought about it already, it’s way more expensive than meeting a guy in a bar but safer” “I never planned any of this with a partner actually, if there was one, good, but if there isn’t, good too” “You don’t want to wait a little bit though? Maybe Kyung Soo grows a pair and invites you dinner one of these days” She chuckled bitterly “Bold of you to assume that I don’t see this as a dinner invitation” She gestured to the empty plate “It’s not” “It is! He cooked for me!” Her friend rolled his eyes and patted her hand condescending “Don’t do that, he is going to think we are together!” “No he won’t, I came here with a date the other day” He distracted her for a couple of minutes so he could tell her about this date, but once Jongin came to ask them if they needed something else, Junmyeon came back to the previous discussion “Look, I know that this relationship thing is not your thing, I’ve known you for years, when we were in high school I thought you were a lesbian, then I thought you were asexual until the first year of uni when you got your first boyfriend, that didn’t end up well…my point is that is not often that I see you showing interest in another human being…but also, you can’t stop your life from moving forward just to wait for a significant other” “This is all very cute, but where are you going with this” He cleaned his mouth, organizing his ideas because he was also a bit lost “My point is…I take back what I said before, get pregnant and pursue Kyung Soo, or don’t, just live your life, and if you want to become a mom right now, do it, I will support you” “I really want to be a mom” He saw her sparkling eyes “I know, you have been saying that since we were kids, so go ahead and do it, also, I know I’m your only friend so yes, I will go with you to the doctor if you need me” She thanked him, although she already knew that. When her friend left the restaurant, she stayed there looking on her computer for fertility clinics. There weren’t that many, but they all had a very good reputation. She was about to call one of the clinics when Kyung Soo interrupted her “Your friend already paid, I don’t want to bother you, but I’m about to close to prepare for dinner, but you can stay If you want” She looked around the place and noticed that she was the only one left “I’m so sorry I was so focused looking at…at something here I didn’t notice, I will be going” Kyung Soo put one hand on her shoulder stopping her from standing up, cleaning his other hand in his apron nervously “Don’t worry, you are free to stay, really is nothing, I’m going to be back there working, you can stay” “I don’t need to go to the office and I really enjoy being here, so If I’m not bothering you…I think I will stay” He didn’t answer, only smiled at her and walked back to the kitchen. She kept looking at him from her table. She always did that when she went there for lunch, especially when she was there with a big group, in that way no one would notice it. She liked how focused he was. How organized he was. During these months of eating regularly at the 'Chicken Stew' she was able to visit the kitchen twice, and she was always taken away by how clean it was, even after lunchtime. Kyung Soo was a clean man. She liked that. Also, the food was unparallel. All the flavors merged perfectly. She was sure she had tried every single dish it was there to offer and they were all amazing. Several times she went to fancy restaurants with potential business partners and the food was never as good as Kyung Soo’s food. Kyung Soo was an amazing chef. She liked that. But going to the 'Chicken Stew' was also a great experience in terms of social interaction. One time when the place was packed with people she shared a table with a man who looked a bit under the weather to say the least. His appearance wasn’t the best. One of her co-workers asked him what was going on and he opened to these three strangers “I’m pretty much homeless now, I have been leaving in a net café for two weeks now, and the little money I have I use it to pay for that place, Kyung Soo met me in a very bad situation and brought me here for food, I have been eating here for three days, I have tried to pay and he stopped me from doing so, he gave me this look…you better follow what he says” He finished with a merry laugh. Then she heard several stories like that. A high schooler who went there to eat three days a week ended up being a hard-working kid with really crappy parents. An old couple that went there every Friday were two retired who sometimes had to choose between food or medicine. All of them eating for free thanks to Kyung Soo. He was a remarkable man. She loved that. She kept looking at him as he was chopping tomatoes. There was a peace around him. She barely knew him, but she was sure Kyung Soo was an easy-going guy, trustful, competent and caring. She wanted to know him and see if she was right. She wanted to talk to him. Hear his voice. Ask what his favorite food was. Why did he become a chef? Why Chicken Stew? She had so many questions. And Kyung Soo was right there, probably feeling observed by her. She stood up and walked to the kitchen counter, knocking at the steal surface as if it was a door. He looked up fighting a smile and asked if she needed something. She asked him if they could talk. Kyung Soo felt a rush of something taking over. He knew she was coming, he hoped so after feeling observed by her for so long. He thought she wanted something else to eat, maybe the portion of Crème Brule she didn’t eat at lunch. He wasn’t expecting her to ask him to talk. He wasn’t expecting the questions. The need to know about him. He wasn’t expecting her laughs and interest. He wasn’t expecting how relaxed he felt answering her questions. He wasn’t expecting how easily he asked back. He wasn’t expecting to realize that she was maybe interested in him.

After that Kyung Soo was a little bit more open about his feelings. One time he cooked a chicken and tomatoes stew just for her and when her coworkers asked if they could have the same, he answered with the truth. He cooked that just for her, it was a personal portion. Everybody went silent and when he met her eyes, she was smiling fondly at him. He noticed once that her hair was getting on her way and she complained to her lunch mates about forgetting to bring something to hold it. And it happened often. She always found a way to fix it, a headkerchief or pencil. One day as he went with Jongin to buy something for his niece he found a cute hair tie with a cute chick on it. He bought it, ignoring Jongin when he asked him for who it was. The next day, when he brought her plate, he left the hair tie next to it. Thank god that day she came to eat by herself. He didn’t have the guts to do that with an audience. He walked away quickly and didn’t come back to her table. But a couple of minutes later Jongin came to him with a silly smile, raising a cheeky eyebrow “So the cute chick was for her?...You are so romantic…just so you know, she is wearing it” He lifted his head quickly, and saw her slurping her ramen noodles, with her hair high in a ponytail with the yellow hair tie bright on her head.

--- One Monday she didn’t come for lunch. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed and she didn’t come. When Friday came she asked her coworkers what happened to her. They said she was abroad because of work. Two weeks passed. He was missing her. Sighing around the restaurant, feeling weird without cooking that extra dish just for her. Jongin began to worry, bringing him his favorite coffee or taking him out during the weekends. But he was still feeling down. He missed hearing her laugh and the way she would mess with her co-workers. It was way too soon to feel lovesick. But that was exactly how he was feeling. The chick hair tie was next to the cash register waiting for its owner. Then one Friday night she arrived with Junmyeon. He had one arm around her shoulders and she looked like she had just cried. They sat at a table in front of the kitchen counter and in between sobbing she laughed happily to something he said. Kyung Soo felt a whirlpool of emotions. He was so happy to finally see her after so long. But he imagined a friendly comeback. An exchange of polite words and then he would bring her some food. But now he didn’t know what was going on. She was crying but she didn’t look sad. Her friend was beyond happy and laughed at her when she broke into tears again. And when he made eye contact with Kyung Soo, he waved at him, asking him to come closer. He felt insanely awkward standing in front of them, it was impossible to read the atmosphere there “Is everything ok?” He asked unable to hid how worried he was “Kyung Soo, everything is ok, more than ok, we came to celebrate, my friend here” His voice broke with a bit of emotion “My friend here just had a pregnancy test at the bathroom of our office and she is pregnant” She heard her squeal, hiding her face on her hands and then looked up at him. She looked so beautiful. Her face was covered in tears, yes. But she was happy. So happy he could almost see a bright shine surrounding her “You are pregnant?” He asked, not sure why. He was happy to see her so happy, but a dark sadness settled on his stomach. You need two to be pregnant. He didn’t know she had a boyfriend. Or maybe it was Junmyeon’s. “Could you bring us a bottle of champagne to celebrate? Oh, you can’t drink…well, Kyung Soo and I can drink you drink some water” Kyung Soo moved in autopilot to the kitchen and brought a bottle and champagne and one of water and three glasses to their table. Junmyeon opened said bottle and served the drinks. He was as happy as his friend, which made the theory of him being the father even more plausible. He felt like biting his head off. She grabbed her glass, took a deep breath and made a toast “This is for me, my child and his or her father…sample 1313” Kyung Soo dropped his glass to the floor. He felt their stares on him and despite knowing that he had to move he just couldn’t. 1313 was a number he was very conscious about. How much coincidence could be involved in this entire situation? Did she purchase his sample? He was brought back to life by Junmyeon patting his shoulder nervously “I guess our friend is as surprised as us…Kyung Soo are you ok?” “Yeah, yes, yes, I’m ok, Congratulations” His hand was numb, still in the air and his glass in the floor spilling wine on his black shoes. Jongin came quickly to help him clean and thanks to that he came out of his stupor. He was hating himself violently now. He made a fool of himself. There was no way he could explain this behavior. A reaction like out of a soap opera. She said she was pregnant, and he dropped his glass of wine. This was ridiculous “Sis, you said sample? What do you mean?” His beloved Jongin came to the rescue and their focus changed from him to Jongin “Oh, well you see, I really wanted to be a mom, since I’m a little girl, and I want to be a mom now that I have money and a good job and I’m young, but I lost hope in men, no offense, and I don’t have the energy to try right now, so I went to a fertility clinic and I got inseminated” Kyung Soo felt like fading. Cold sweat ran down his neck and back, there was no way this world was so small that the woman he liked got inseminated with his sample. No way. There was absolutely no way. Life couldn’t be this…bizzare. “Sis, and your sample is number 1313? As the number of our restaurant?” She looked at Junmyeon nervously looking for help “That is a huge coincidence right?” He tried to help with something that was believable “It was a good sample” She commented with almost a whisper. This sample talking was making her very uncomfortable, especially with these friends by proxy. Jongin smiled at her and took a long step, reaching for her with his arms, hugging her “I’m very happy for you sis, I hope you have a beautiful and healthy child” She hugged him back because his bear hug was too good not to answer it. Kyung Soo was outraged. Not because his best friend was hugging the woman he liked. He was shocked because now he had to hug her too. It would be awful if he just stood there. And there is no such thing as a congratulatory handshake to someone who announced her pregnancy, which will also disarm him. Jongin let go of her, holding to her hand patting it caringly and turned around sending him a wink. He was going to chop him to pieces later. Kyung Soo dried his hands on his apron and went to hug her. He didn’t know how it looked for the rest, but for him, it was an amazing hug. There were approximately two steps separating them. She took one and he followed. She raised her arms to his shoulders and he went for her waist, circling his arms around her pulling her softly against him. She rested her chin on his shoulder and sighed contently. Her hair tickled his nose, making him smile. He took a deep breath and said what he really wanted to say “I’m very happy for you, you should do want you want, and I’m glad one of your dreams is coming true” He rubbed her back and his head was shouting at him that the hug was long enough, but she wasn’t letting him go. So he didn’t either “Thank you Kyung Soo” She said, patting his back and cuddling deeper in his arms. She opened her eyes and saw Jongin exchanging stares with Junmyeon. They were both holding their laughs and being all giddy, Jongin clapping his hands silently and Junmyeon covering his mouth with both hands. Just then she realized what was she doing. She really didn’t want to let him go. He felt so warm and solid between her arms. He smelled amazing, a mixture of his perfume and the smells of his kitchen. His arms were strong but held her tenderly. His chest vibrated against hers when he spoke, and his words resonated on her ears. His voice sounded different, and the tone of his words was new to her. He sounded happy, yes, but there was a melancholy behind them. She didn’t want to let him go. And when she felt him move she could only tight her embrace. Could she start blaming the pregnancy for this? Pregnant women were…emotional, right? Her friend and Jongin kept sharing silly smiles and her long-time friend began making signals to cut it, mouthing “enough, enough” She jerked, waking up from her dreamy moment and let go of him, sliding her hands down her shoulders and arms. He held to her hands like Jongin did and sputtered “I hope you have a peaceful and healthy pregnancy too” “We can help you with that, right chef? Bring us what the nutritionist recommends and he will cook it for you” Jongin assured sweetly. She thanked him but made sure to take pressure away from him. Kyung Soo didn’t let her finish “I would be glad to help you with that” She smiled delighted, feeling a bit guilty, but not surprised by his words. That was the kind of man he was “Ok, can we eat now? I’m very hungry and we have to celebrate” “Jongin and I were about to close the kitchen, but we have some food left, we will prepare something fast and bring it to you” “Thank you, you two should join us” Jongin was about to answer, thrilled with the idea, but he stopped him by pinching his waist “We need to clean and prepare some things for tomorrow, but thank you for the invitation” He grabbed Jongin’s upper arm and pulled him to the kitchen “Hyung, hyung! What are you doing?” He complained on their way to the kitchen. He pulled him to the cleaning station that was away from the eating area and stood in front of him with his hands on his hips “Do you hate me? Do you want me dead?” “No, no, why are you asking me that?” “Why did you do that?!” Jongin was frowning in confusion, and he knew that he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just a warm person, but he needed to blame someone now and vent a little bit “Why did you hug her?” Jongin’s face changed from confusion to understanding and a mocking grin took over his face “No, is not what you are thinking” Kyung Soo predicted “Since you hugged her I had to hug her too!” “So?” “So?! You know how I feel about her, that was the hardest thing I had to do, hug her and let…and let her go, and then you offered myself to cook for her” “Hyung, I was doing you a favor there, you were considering doing that anyway weren’t you?” Kyung Soo snarled and walked past him into the kitchen. He couldn’t stand another word from Jongin. He was too right. And it annoyed him. The night was cold and he was especially tired that day. Jongin’s steps were longer than his in their way to the flat they shared. He liked it like that, it gave him a bit of privacy. He was feeling like crap. On one side he was thrilled for her pregnancy. Because if she was happy he was too. He was sad she didn’t wait for him. But what saddened and terrified him the most was the possibility that sample 1313 was his sample. He felt guilty for not telling her, but also selfish because why did she need to know, the whole thing of going for the insemination was keeping this between her and her child. No man in between. He was terrified of the future, what if she began bringing her child to the restaurant, what was he going to do? And he couldn’t avoid feeling happy, he wasn't bothered by the idea of having a kid with her. There were way too many emotions swimming around his head and chest, he felt like crying “Kyung Soo, Do you care if she is pregnant?” Jongin asked stopping on his steps, but not turning around “Jongin” He called his friend, almost in tears. Jongin turned around alarmed “What? what is it? Don’t be sad hyung” His friend was pouting, rubbing Kyung Soo’s shoulders. Kyung Soo felt great relief when he could finally share what was hunting him “Jongin, I think that baby is mine” Jongin’s eyes went as big and round as the moon that night. After talking with his friend Kyung Soo went to his bed not bothering with taking a shower. The energy to be a functional human just wasn’t there. He lied in bed for hours thinking about her. About her happy tears and her warm hug. How he didn’t know too much about her but his feelings were still strong. He hadn’t exchanged a lot of words with her, but he has seen her through the eyes of the people around her. Her co-workers would talk about her a lot during lunch when she wasn’t there. Only words of care and admiration. About her tolerance, how open she was to share her time and knowledge, how good she was putting down small fires, but they never saw her raise her voice or being disrespectful. He also knew about her strength. How brave she was. How formidable she was. A woman who is successful before her thirties and just goes for what she wants, like becoming a single mother, for example, is a woman who behaves like no one. She doesn’t care what others can think. He always liked women like that. He never wanted to be a prince. He wanted to be a comrade in arms.

---

With all the commotion from last night, with her telling Kyung Soo and Jongin about her pregnancy, then hugging Kyung Soo for what felt like an hour and still, it wasn’t enough and then celebrating with her friend, she forgot a very important thing. She was only one month pregnant, and she wished to keep this as a secret until the three-month barrier. She went for lunch with almost all her workers and she was afraid that Jongin or Kyung Soo could make a comment, so she dashed to the front of the kitchen and found them mumbling in a corner, Jongin appeared to be comforting Kyung Soo. She called them so she could talk to them. They both looked at her with wide eyes and Jongin was the only one who could compose himself and come to her “Good afternoon! What is it sis?” She bowed at them and spoke in a hurry “You guys are the only ones who know about my pregnancy, could you keep it a secret from everyone please”

“Yes, of course, don’t worry, are you ok?” “Never been better, thank you” Jongin smiled at her warmly “Is he ok?” She whispered as she saw Kyung Soo walk out of the kitchen “Yes, I mean, he is very tired, but just that, you know business owner and suppliers, paying bills…is very hard, but he will manage, thank you for worrying” She was very worried indeed. She didn’t know Kyung Soo was having a hard time. It was stupid of her not to think that it was hard. He just never showed it. He always looked so stoic that someone could easily forget what he was going through. During lunch she tried to talk to him, but he was busy serving. He didn’t meet her eyes either.

She convinced Junmyeon to go to Chicken Stew for dinner “I was planning on going to the gym” “Why? What could you do at the gym? You are already in shape” He rolled his eyes at her and decided to come with her, he never once said no to her. Neither she “You wanna go see Kyung Soo?” “He was so weird today, he looked distressed and didn’t talk to me once, he was avoiding me” “You think you freaked him out with that hug you gave him” No. No, she didn’t. But know that her friend said it, she felt panic crippling up her back “Oh god, I fucked it up, didn’t I?” His friend was quick to calm her down “No, I was just kidding, he was super into the hug, ask Jongin, you both disconnected from this world, come on, you must have felt it” Her nose crinkled, smiling coyly “I did, you think he likes me” “Ok, let’s stop there, what if it is true, he likes you…so, what are you going to do?” “What should I do?” He looked at her frowning “Friking confess you idiot, or better, wait until you are 8 months pregnant and you can go rolling to his restaurant and ask him for a date” She kicked his shin and when he crunched down to rub the place where she hit him, she slapped his head “I’m being serious! Don’t mess with me!” “I’m not! Confess, what’s the worst thing that could happen uh?” “I feel like the stats are not on my side right now, I could wait a bit more” Junmyeon was going to answer back when his phone buzzed. His cheeks went rose with a smile as he picked up. She knew that face. She was about to go for dinner by herself “Is the girl from the other day?” She inquired with her hands on her hips, he nodded his cheeks still glowing “Ok, go, but if this is serious you better introduce her to me quickly, I don’t want jealous girlfriends” He hugged her quickly and walked away telling her to text him when she gets home. She kept walking, with the intention of still going to Chicken Stew, but her plans changed when she arrived at the restaurant. Through the big window, she could see that the place was full. There was a seat available in the counter in front of the kitchen, but something else stopped her from going inside. Kyung Soo. He was very busy attending tables and serving the dishes. She didn’t want to bother him with conversation. And if he was still tired or in a bad mood, she didn’t want to annoy him. But in reality, it wasn’t just about him. She didn’t want to see him ignoring her and being so weirdly cold towards her like that afternoon. It affected her more than she dared to recognize.

She made sure to go with company every time she went for lunch. In that way, she was busy with work talk rather than looking at Kyung Soo. Winding her head with ways to talk to him about more than what was she going to eat or if she wanted coffee or tea. She wanted to ask him how he was doing. She could ask Jongin, they were close enough to do that. But he was busy all the time. It was Friday, and at lunchtime, she asked Jongin what was the menu for dinner “We are not opening at night today, hyung as something to do at the kitchen” It was clear that Jongin didn’t know how to lie. He was too pure for that. But she acted as she believed him. Curiosity was killing her. She wanted to know why he was lying. That day she left work late. She had a ton of codding to do and she hated doing that at home. Especially now that pregnancy was begging to affect her energy. The office was for working and her house was for sleeping. If she was lucky she was going to be able to catch the last bus. She still had an hour left so she walked to the stop slowly, enjoying the autumn wind. When she passed by 'Chicken Stew' she noticed that the lights of the kitchen were on. She looked inside but couldn’t see anyone and the front door was closed. She walked around the building and found the back door slightly ajar. There was a murmur like music coming from the inside and a low voice singing along. The words sounded a bit slurred but the voice was beautiful. It was clear that no one had broke in to steal anything. She opened the door slowly and let herself in. This was her first time in his kitchen and it was incredibly intimidating. She walked slowly, deeper into the kitchen, looking around, her eyes and ears very aware of her surroundings. She called his name once but no one answered. The voice was still singing. She tried again and this time the music went off and so did the beautiful voice. Someone called her name. It was Kyung Soo. She walked around one of the kitchen counters and found him seating in the floor with an empty bottle of wine next to him and a couple of beer cans. His eyes told her something for sure. He was drunk. He called her name again and followed with a smile “You are here” He said entertained “How are you?” “Better than you I think, Kyung Soo…are you ok?” He shook his head and released a long breath “I’m not ok, I’m not ok at all” She kneeled down next to him, not sure of what to do or say, but at least she could give him some company in his drunkness “Are you having problmes?” “Yes, a huge one” “Can I help you with it?” He shook his head again, looking at his hands “Is there anything I can do to help you? She insisted and waited a bit for his answer. He went silent, but his breathing and the way his shoulders moved told her that he was crying. She didn’t want to intrude so she just waited for him “There is something you can do…please don’t hate me” “Why would I hate you?” Her hand reached for his shoulder rubbing it “Because I’m…I just…I feel horrible, I shouldn’t tell you but at the same time, I can’t keep quiet, no when I imagine a future with you every night before I go to sleep, no when I can only imagine all the things that I want to cook for you and only for you” He was whimpering, cleaning his tears with clumsy hands. She didn’t know what to say, she was frozen in the spot. She couldn’t believe her ears. He was confesing. Drunk and between tears “Kyung Soo, why are you like this? What is this thing you want to tell me?” “You are pregnant, and you decided to get inseminated for a reason…and I understand, I really do, we are useless, women don’t need us to raise their kids, and if you were another woman I would just keep quite, but I like you and I want to be with you but…I can’t be with you with this secret, this lie hunting me” There was no logical answer in her head to what was going on right now. Her brain was split between trying to understand what had him so sad, process the fact that he said he liked her and what was this secret “Before you say anything let’s sober up a little bit ok? I don’t care what you have to say to me, if you say it drunk you are going to regret it and it could be harder for me to understand, stand up and let me give you some water and a cup of coffee” She tried to lift him holding his arm but he pulled away from her “I’m so sorry, forgive me please” “Kyung Soo, please come with me and sober up so we can talk ok?” “Your baby” He began and a part of her reacted like a lion feeling attacked. Why was he talking about her baby? “Your child, you wanted to do this by yourself, you went to a clinic and you bought a sample, but this damn fucking world is so small…you had to go and buy from the bank where I sold my sperm right? 1313…why did you have to choose that sample? Tell me, why did you?” “I just liked the description of the donor and…it’s the number of your restaurant” He cursed under his breath, chuckling humorlessly “Yes, it is, the sample 1313 was mine” “Kyung Soo…” “I checked, I thought it could be a huge coincidence, but is not, I’m sample 1313, I’m so sorry” She stood up. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. This was too messed up. Kyung Soo hid his face on his hands, still sobbing. She didn’t have anything to do there. There was nothing they could do or say now. He was too drunk, and she was too shocked. She walked away, feeling horribly bad to leave him there like that, but she was incapable of doing anything, for him or for her. On her way out she ran into Jongin. They didn’t exchange a word, it wasn’t necessary. He got it immediately. She was thankful that Kyung Soo wasn’t going to be alone.

---

Only a few times before Kyung Soo felt so helpless. This was probably the third time he got this drunk. First time when he broke up with his first girlfriend, the second time when his restaurant almost goes bankrupt and now this. The worst thing was that drunkenness never took his memories away. So he remembered everything that happened that night at his kitchen. Her worry, his bitter tears, every word he said, her face of horror and the sound of her heels walking away. He felt his chest torn apart when she left. Jongin came to his rescue, but what else could he do. There weren’t enough words of support, who could know how to act in this situation when it was such a bizarre one?

As he suspected, the next week she didn’t come to the restaurant. He waited for her at lunch and dinner but she didn’t appear. He wasn’t planning on going out of the kitchen if she actually went there, but just knowing that she was eating was enough. Only her coworkers came. Junmyeon didn’t appear either. Jongin asked what happened to their coworkers and they told him he was very busy and their other boss was sick. That was the worst answer they could give him. Was she really sick? If so, how sick? Was the pregnancy? Or what he told her stressed her and was now affecting her pregnancy? The worry kept getting into his nerves to the point that he had to throw away a whole pot of pure because he used sugar instead of salt.

After a week of anguish, Junmyeon appeared at lunchtime. He was about to close and there was only one portion left, hers. He greeted him warmly and sat at the kitchen counter “Sorry for coming too late” He told him, but he wasn’t only talking about the closing time “Don’t worry, I have a portion of Chicken Stew for you” “Perfect” Junmyeon waited for his plate and noticed Kyung Soo moving around nervously. He knew what happened that night in the kitchen. She called him first thing in the morning to tell him. It was a situation he couldn’t quite understand. But he did understand how weird and complicated it was. He wasn’t a cruel man. He wasn’t going to wait for his question, he knew how hard could be for him to ask “She has a lot of morning sickness everything she eats gives her nausea so I told her to stay at home” Kyung Soo left his plate on front of him and rested his hands on the counter, letting his head fall. He looked tired, but his shoulders looked relaxed, just a tiny bit. He turned around without saying a word and began washing rice and asked Jongin to peel some veggies. He was cooking for her. Junmyeon felt relieved all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure why he just thought about what a great man he was. Before he was done with his lunch, Kyung Soo had already packed a big portion of rice porridge and steamed vegetables “Could you send her this?” “Sure, I’m going to visit her today, but can we talk?” Kyung Soo sat in front of him, he already knew what he wanted to talk about. He knew Junmyeon was to her what Jongin was for him. He probably knew everything “She told me about the sample thing” “It’s that why she isn't coming?” “Part of it” He decided to be honest with him. He knew his friend and he needed some help “I can’t believe I told her that during those circumstances” “There are things you can’t say sober” He smiled, trying to make him feel better, and Kyung Soo smiled back, but it was clear he was just being polite “How is she?” “Very confused as you must be” “Is she coming back? Is she going to come here again to have lunch?” If his friend didn’t marry Kyung Soo someday, he was willing to do so. He deserved everything anyone could give him “Of course, yes, just give her some time, you use this time too so you can both decide what to do” “Yes, ok…just, could you tell her…I don’t know what I want to tell her” “Don’t say anything, I will give her the food and then when you are both ready you can talk” He didn’t know where all this maturity came from, but he could see Kyung Soo was feeling better, and maybe latter his friend would feel better too “Yes, that’s the best thing to do, thank you” “Don’t worry, and Kyung Soo, this doesn’t have to be too complicated ok? It wasn’t even an accident, it was just destiny” He felt unbelievable thankful for Junmyeon’s words. The least he could do was giving him that meal for free.

---

The next week she didn’t appear either. But this time Junmyeon made sure to tell him that she was better, but the doctor recommended full rest for some signs of miscarriage. Kyung Soo panicked. Jongin held his arm just in case “She is fine, don’t worry, the doctor said it was common, she would be able to come to work next week, please don’t worry, are you ok?” Kyung Soo sat down next to him rubbing his legs and fumbling with his fingers “That caught me unprepared” “I’m being honest Kyung Soo, she is fine now and the baby too, she is just being extra careful” “It’s just…I realized something just now” “Great, that’s good, what did you realize?” He looked at him and Junmyeon knew that this was the line he couldn’t cross. This wasn’t his business anymore. He took back is question. Kyung Soo wasn’t able to sleep well that Sunday. He knew on Monday she will be back at work and back at his restaurant. This was one of those situations where he really wanted to see her but was terrified to do it. He informed Jongin that he wasn’t going to open the restaurant for dinner time. He gave him his silent support and went back to work. The rush hour at lunchtime passed and she didn’t appear. Neither her coworkers so maybe there was something going on at the office. 30 minutes before closing time, they appeared. Junmyeon, the other coworkers and at the tail of the group, her. Jongin helped them put together two tables so they could all sit together and as he did so she walked to the kitchen counter rubbing her hands together and bowing at him. He looked over her shoulder and saw Junmyeon and Jongin standing together looking at them as if they were watching a suspense movie “How are you feeling?” He asked “I’m better now, Junmyeon told me you are aware of what was happening to me, were you worried?” Her voice was soft, filled with uncertainty as if she didn’t know how to talk to him “I was so worried…could we…could we met today so we can talk?” “Yes, sure, of course, I…when? Where?” “Come here when you are done with your work…could you?” “Yes, of course, I will be here around seven” Kyung Soo felt happy for the first time in weeks. Of course, he was still terrified but he could tell she wasn’t mad at him or distant. Her coworkers called her, so she bowed at him and went to heir table. They didn’t talk again after that.

She was punctual, she counted the seconds until it was time to meet him. She didn’t know what would come out from this. She was sure of what she wanted though. A solution for all this. Kyung Soo was waiting for her in front of the restaurant. This was the first time she saw him wearing street clothes. As expected, it was very simple. Dark jeans and a sweater. Stylish sneakers and his signature glasses. He looked very handsome. They greeted politely and Kyung Soo invited her to a coffee a couple of blocks down the streets. He made sure she was comfortable with walking “Is not as terrible as Junmyeon told you” She tried to give him some peace “I had some pain and a bit of bleeding, I went to the doctor immediately and they gave me medicine and whatnots, I spend two days in the hospital just so the baby could be safe and then at was back at home, is very common” “You must have been very scared” How could he know? She made sure to speak nonchalantly, trying to hide how badly that memory made her feel. She was very scared indeed, she was terrified of losing her child “Yes, I was, but I’m ok now, don’t worry” They walked in silence to the coffee shop and Kyung Soo guided her to a private booth. He thought the couch was better to seat down that a wood chair and it was way warmer there. They asked for two cups of tea nothing to eat, she was afraid food could give her nausea and ruin this moment. The cups arrived and the silence was about to swallow them both. Kyung Soo decided to act like an adult, speak with the truth and be honest, especially to himself “I’m so sorry for what happened” “For what are you apologizing? the sample mishap or the drunkenness” She ended with a smile, an honest smile from ear to ear. He giggled and rubbed his neck still embarrassed but not scared anymore “Because let me tell you, you shouldn’t apologize for neither of them” “I shouldn’t have said that drunk, it was so disrespectful” “Thanks to that bottle of wine you opened up to me sooner” She wasn’t wrong “And I prefer it like that…about the sample, it was a coincidence” “Would you have preferred for me to shut up about it” “No, no, I would have hated that, you were right, if we think about a future together, there can’t be a secret like that between us…I don’t think you would have been able to live peacefully holding that to yourself” Kyung Soo felt something like a wrecking ball hitting his stomach “You think about that future too?” She didn’t notice she was recognizing her feelings, she should have prepared for this talk in advance “I do…I like you too, I like you a lot…but the future that worries me right now is the one I’m going to live in 7 months” “I understand that” “Is not that you are not a priority or less important, but…our circumstances right now are complicated” Kyung Soo lowered his stare, looking at his hands organizing what he wanted to say. He wanted to be very clear “I like you too, you already know that, but there are two things between us, the love we feel for each other, and your child and I don’t want to say our child because that would be incredibly rude, I was never part of this equation, as you said, it was a mishap, but that doesn’t take the fact that…I can’t even say it because is not my place, but I want you to know that I would follow whatever decision you make because I’m ready for all the possibilities” “If I tell you that I want you to be the father and take your place in this equation, would you do it?” “Yes” They weight of his answer felt heavy on her chest “I had my doubts before, but when Junmyeon told me about the miscarriage symptoms…I feared for your child” He was still refusing to use the word our. She took her time before saying something. She believed him, but it felt rushed. She wasn’t yet clear with her desition and she was the mother. Kyung Soo couldn't be clearer either. It was so unfair for him. Of course, he would take his place of a father because he was the best human out there, but she always felt like motherhood was natural and fatherhood was a bit of an imposition. It sounded messed up, but that’s how she felt growing up “I don’t want you to make that decision just yet…this is not the optimal circumstance, you just needed the money, I wanted a child, we are in extreme opposites, so I don’t want you to feel forced to do this just because is what your values dictate to you” He made the intent to interrupted her but she stopped him “And I know that you could be driven by your feelings, but is still too soon, we are not even dating” He swallowed thickly. Deep down he felt like this wasn’t going the way he hoped for “As for us…I don’t think is fair for you to date me now” “why would you say that?” She chuckled bitterly “Because I’m pregnant Kyung Soo, the me you will encounter now is different, my mood is going to be weird as hell, my body will change, and I’m not going to be able to give you all my attention” He called her name sweetly “I’m not a child that wants your constant attention” “We don't know that” She joked and they finally laughed together, after a long time of tension “But I understand you…I said this before, it’s your decision “ “If we don’t date, would you still be there, I feel selfish asking you to wait for me…but would you wait for me?” “I was going to do it even if you didn’t ask for it” She felt all shy and giddy, he was so sweet and so good with his words. She felt like lying on the floor and rolling around “How much do you want me involved?” He asked with a tiny bit of confidence “As much as you feel comfortable” “That’s a very open answer” “Is the one I can give you now” Kyung Soo reached across the table and held her hand “Let’s not take more decision for now and let’s see with time, maybe you don’t want me at all or maybe you want my constant company” “Kyung Soo, that’s unfair” She felt like she was using him “It’s not, I’m comfortable like that too, I don’t want to force myself into you…but I have confidence that we will make it through” He squeezed her hand and she put her other hand on top of his “I hope you don’t think I’m not sure about my feeling for you, because I am, especially now, I just think…” “You are being careful, I can understand that…I’m just glad you are not pushing me away” “I’m glad too” The tea went cold as they kept holding hands, talking and trying to reassure each other feelings. She wanted to stay there longer, but he insisted that it was too late, and she needed to go home and rest. She didn’t resist, she liked how he cared for her. The third month passed by and her doctor told her that she was risk-free now. The symptoms weren’t as terrible as before. The nausea went away. But her digestive system was a mess. She never commented this to Kyung Soo, but it was clear that he had made some research because now he was cooking exclusively for her and the menu was fourth month of pregnancy friendly. Her constipation was almost under control and heartburn was a story from the past. One day she thanked him for it and his only answer was “I know how to take care of you” She played his words over her head for the rest of the week. It wasn’t as horrible as she thought it would be. Junmyeon’s new girlfriend was a gift from heaven. She took her out to buy new underwear since her boobs refused to settle in her old bras and would call her asking if she needed girl help wish was code for, help with anything that could make Junmyeon uncomfortable. She thanked every day for the teacher that sat them together in middle school which was the spark that developed their friendship. He was the brother she never had and the support she needed these days. She was so glad that his girlfriend understood their dynamics. Kyung Soo had nothing to envy from her childhood friend. They met during lunch and dinner, and he always took the time to talk to her and he never treated her like a sick person. Not like some of her coworkers. He just wanted to know if she needed something, what the doctor said and how she was feeling. She felt very tired all the time, and there were mornings that she just couldn’t get up. The changes in her blood flow made her feel dizzy most mornings. During those days she would work from home and every time at lunchtime a deliver guy will bring her food. A taste of the food told her that it was Kyung Soo’s. It began with him sending him lunch to her house whenever she didn’t go to work. But then, lunch began arriving at her office. She let it happen twice until she had a talk with him “Why did you do that?” He was chopping carrots as they were talking at the kitchen “Doctor said you shouldn't walk too much” “That's true, but is like a five-minute walk from my office to here and I use the elevator, I think stairs are my real enemies” “There are stairs over there” he pointed at the street were in fact she had to walk down three steps. She rolled her eyes following him around the kitchen “If I can make your life easier…” “And I'm thankful, but maybe... I want to come here to see you” He came to a sudden halt and she collided with him. He grabbed her by her arms just in case “Oh... You do?” “Yeah” He looked down at his hands holding her and let her go. She liked how he touched her and helped her out of reflex “Ok, sorry” “Don't apologize, I really really appreciate it, but for now is not really necessary, maybe when I go with maternity leave” He held his hand up, waiting for a handshake “Deal, but at least can I invite you lunch?” “No way Kyung Soo” “Come on!” She rested her hands on her hips and Kyung Soo could already recognize that as a sign that there was no place for debate “I can pay for my food, I would rather you invite that plate of food to someone who really needs it, like you have been doing so far” His eyebrows showed his surprise “How do you know about that?” “It was a secret?” “No, but it isn’t common knowledge either” “I spoke with several people who have been eating here for free, is one of the reasons I like you” Since that serious talk at the coffee shop, they never addressed their feeling again. It was both embarrassing and a bit unnecessary for now. Her confession there was a slip of the tongue. She didn’t regret it though. She knew her confession could make him happy. His bright smile told her so “I wanted to own my business so I could do that” He confessed, walking away from her, a bit shy. She followed him again, eager to know more about it. That afternoon she stayed with him as he prepared something for tomorrow's lunch. That afternoon he confessed that he has been cooking especially for her since they met. She wanted to stand up and kiss him, but she got dizzy again.

---

It was killing her not knowing if she was having a boy or a girl. It didn’t dictate what things she bought in terms of clothing or toys, but she wanted to imagine her child. Start dreaming about the exciting future with her or him. Her next visit to the doctor would be the one that would tell her. She was finally in her 5th month. Her tummy was bigger now, her pants were already a bit uncomfortable so she began using dresses and skirts. She began feeling little butterflies in her stomach, in a beginning she thought it was because of Kyung Soo, but she read somewhere that it was the baby moving. The symptoms weren’t too terrible, the dizziness was the only thing left. And she finally had big girl boobs. Her new bras were no good anymore. Yes, they hurt a bit, but she had a cleavage now. She took the day off that day. More like Junmyeon forbid her from going to work so she could have a calm day and then they could celebrate if he was going to have a niece or nephew.

--- Kyung Soo woke up from a horrible nightmare with his heart in his throat. In the dream, he saw her and her child inside a glass case. He could see them but they didn’t see him. She was holding her child, but she didn’t look happy. She looked distressed and tired. The baby was sleeping but suddenly jolted in her arms and began crying. She did her best to stop her child from crying, but nothing happened. The baby was turning red and the sound was louder and louder. He wanted to help them. He felt that he could calm the baby. He wanted to take her child in his arms just so she could rest for a little bit, but he couldn’t touch them. He began banging the glass, looking for an opening but the more he hit, the thicker became the glass. He woke up with the sound of his alarm. He couldn’t stop thinking about the dream for the rest of the morning. He was outside his restaurant talking with the guys who brought him the vegetables for the week when Junmyeon walked to him, just to say hi, he was on his way to their office. He immediately asked for her, no shame “I told her not to come to work today, she as a doctor appointment at 10:00” That was in two hours “Ok, then I should send it to her house” “Don’t worry, she normally eats out when she has a checkup…oh! She is very excited because today she will know if it is a girl or a boy” He told him as he walked away in a hurry. Kyung Soo felt for the first time like he needed to be there. He wanted to be there. Of course, it had to do with the nightmare he had that night, but if the dream was a premonitory one, it was clear the glass walls represented himself. He was the one building them and staying away when in reality he wanted to be there. He wanted to know if they were having a girl or a boy. That was the first time he allowed himself to think about an us. He kept repeating to himself that If she needed him, he would go to her. He didn’t even have her personal number, just her secretary’s. Jongin hated that “Hyung, that’s so stupid, I have your number and we are not in love nor I’m expecting your baby, but we are friends, that’s why I have your number saved” He knew his friend was right, but the more he controlled himself, the more comfortable he felt. So he didn’t ask for her number. And she didn’t give it to him. In fact, he got the number of her office from a business card she gave him when she went to Chicken Stew for the first time. But now he wanted to talk to her, he wanted to go to her. He needed to do so. But his stupid self-control was too strong, so he went inside the kitchen ready to start cooking for that day's lunch. Jongin arrived a couple of minutes later merry as always “I met with sis at the subway, she was on her way to the doctor, hyung! Did you know? Today they are going to tell her the sex of the baby, she looked so happy! Although I was wondering, is it safe for her to use the subway?” He was too focused on Jongin’s words to notice that his hand was too close to the skillet, the burn in the palm of his hand woke him up from his long-time delusion that he didn’t need to be there. Instead of applying cold to his hand he took off his apron and began giving instructions to a very confused Jongin “Put everything in the freezer, make sure everything is off and close the restaurant for the day” “Where are you going?” “To see her” he shouted over his shoulder as he walked out the back door. He reached the main street and panicked for a second. What to do now? He had no idea where her doctor was, what her number was. He knew where she lived but it was too late. Her office. Junmyeon could help him. This wasn’t his first time there, so he walked inside Junmyeon’s office quickly, not caring about manners. He didn’t even greet him “I need her number?” “Fucking finally” Junmyeon chuckled a bit exasperated, scribbling the 9 numbers he knew by memory. He gave him the piece of paper and said nothing else, only wished him good luck. On his way out he called her, feeling his heartbeat on his throat. She picked up, her voice doubtful and when he identified himself, she went silent. So he didn’t lose more time. He asked her where she was, she said she was at the bank. She also told him what he already knew. She didn’t comment about what was going to happen in that appointment, but he could hear the excitement in her voice “Can I go with you?” He asked, making sure his voice sounded sure and decided. She didn’t answer immediately which took away some of the confidence he was trying to develop “Are you sure? You don't need to do this” “I do, I need to, May I go?” She chuckled in disbelief “I will love it” Kyung Soo released the breath he was holding, and almost felt like his knees would give up. She wanted him there “I will meet you at the hospital ok?” He stopped a taxi and told the driver the address she had just gave him over the phone.

She sat at the waiting room close to the entrance so Kyung Soo could spot her easily. It wasn’t too crowded, but it helped her with her anxiety. Ten minutes after she arrived, Kyung Soo appeared at the entrance, looking at his phone. He was probably going to call her so she called him instead. He lifted his head confused and when he saw her his smile gave her so much happiness and made her felt so relieved that she had to stand up and met him halfway “Why did you get up? Come here” He locked arms with her and walked her to a line of seats that was empty. She was terrified of uncomfortable silence so she made sure to act normal, as normal as this whole situation can be “How did you get my number?” “I went to your office, and your friend gave it to me” He answered avoiding her eyes looking around with curiosity. She had so many questions. Why the sudden change? Why that day and not yesterday or tomorrow? She was afraid of asking and when she did, her voice was low and shaky “Why are you here Kyung Soo?” He finally looked at her, he was as nervous as she was, but in his eyes, she could see determination “I came because I want to tell you that I want to be here” He grabbed her hand softly, something he hadn’t done since that day they confessed, and they both craved madly “I need to be here, May I accompany you from now on, I know you can and will do all this by yourself, but I can’t” His voice loose strength by the end of the sentence, she didn’t want him to lose confidence or braveness regarding them, so she lain closer to him and kiss him on his cheek, and held there for a while giving him some warmth, clasping his hand harder. She heard him hold his breath for a second and then relax into her. She moved apart a couple of centimeters and whispered a thank you. She had a lot more to say, but this wasn’t the moment. The waiting room of a hospital wasn’t the place either. He looked bemused, but a smile was pulling the corner of his lips “That means I can stay right?” “I really want you to stay” “Great…um…when is your appointment” She looked at her watch, not letting go of his hand “In 30 minutes” “We arrived quite early…are you nervous?” She only nodded, her stare lost ahead. This was something she couldn’t get use to. The fear before every doctor's appointment. She always feared that her doctor would tell her something terrible about her baby. But in the past, her fear showed through locking herself in the bathroom with nausea or dizziness, breathing in and out just to try to calm herself down. She always went by herself. She began this by herself and was planning on finishing it like that. She never complained about the tiny panic attack she got before every appointment. And obviously she didn’t even dare to imagine Kyung Soo giving her company during those times. She should have suspected that his presence would bring some peace. She was still scared, but not terrified. His hand holding hers was warm, soft and it kept her distracted from whatever fear was dancing around her head. Maybe if she was closer he could take away all of the fears. So she moved closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. She thought it could catch him by surprise but on the contrary, he arranged his body so she could rest her head comfortably “Kyung Soo, Why did you call it Chicken Stew?” She needed a distraction for the next thirty minutes, and Kyung Soo was always a great one “Several reasons, it was the first dish I learned how to cook, it’s also my brother’s favorite, all my friends say it’s my best dish and is a dish that is always delicious” “Like your restaurant” “I hope that's the case” She lifted her head, resting her chin on his shoulder “It is, your food is amazing” He thanked her, scratching the back of his ear nervously “You think the baby will be a chef?” Since he was here, wishing to be part of this, they could start thinking about their kid “I doubt it, I don't think babies can cook, but in the future, who knows” That was what she needed, an explosive laugh, an almost howl that made breathing hard for her, harder than normally “You liked that one?” He asked giggling through his nose “That was so funny, I imagined a baby with your cool apron and a knife” She had to cover her mouth not to bother the other people in the waiting room “My apron is cool?” Not cool, sexy, she thought but kept it to herself.

Her doctor congratulated her on her healthy gain weight and for the good numbers on her exams. She asked all the questions related to her symptoms and then invited her to lay in the bed so they could use the ultrasound “Doctor, before we start, can I go and call my…friend that’s waiting outside” She gave her a signal to go ahead and she opened the door nervously. She asked Kyung Soo to wait for her until she would call him. The conversations between her and her doctor were always way too graphic and she didn’t want Kyung Soo to hear them. But the ultrasound part was different. She wanted him there. He was standing with his hands on his pockets, some tension in his shoulders that could easily translate as nervousness. She called his name softly and he turned around, and with quick steps got inside the doctor's office. He greeted the doctor extremely politely and she invited him to sit next to her. As the doctor prepared her things, she reached for Kyung Soo wrist but he held her hand instead “Are you nervous?” He asked her again, but she was sure he was the only one nervous here. And with good reason, this was going to be the first time seeing their child. She said she was nervous, and asked him back “I think I’m going to fade, I’m so nervous” They laughed together and for the first time she felt completely relaxed at the doctor’s office. “Is he your partner?” The doctor asked as she poured the cold gel in her tummy “No, but he is the father of the baby” The doctor turned to Kyung Soo with a bright smile “Oh, then congratulations father of the baby... Although I thought this was an insemination... “ She stopped her so she wouldn’t ruin the moment “It's a long story” From now on that was the sentence he would use whenever someone asked what was her relationship with Kyung Soo “And we don't have a lot of time, I’m glad he is here, let's get to business” The doctor commented and held the probe against her skin. They both held their breaths until the doctor could get a clear image of the baby “So, we always say, it’s a boy if we see turtle and a girl if we see three lines, and in this case” She elongated the last sound as the image of their baby became clearer “We got three lines, you are having a girl” She began pressing buttons on the machine. And gave them some time to take it in. She looked at Kyung Soo but he didn’t meet her eyes. His eyes were stuck on the screen in front of him as the image of their baby kept moving on the screen. Now the image was clearer, head, hands, legs and arms, you could almost see her profile. She saw herself on him, in awe with what was happening. She was sure that for him now everything was clearer. It was like that for her. The moment she saw her baby for the first time was the moment she realized that she had made the right choice. He was probably feeling the same “Her size is right, organs on point, amniotic fluid and placenta are great, that’s all we have for now, a very healthy girl, is that what you were hoping for?” She always said that she would be happy with either, but deep down, or maybe not that deep, she hoped for a girl “Yes, actually, I wanted a girl” “Great! then what about the father, are you happy?” Kyung Soo had his eyes still stuck on the screen and when he spoke, his voice was soft and a bit shaky “She is perfect, our…our daughter is perfect” The doctor chuckled and looked at both of them with care “They all say that, and guess what? They are right” Eventually the doctor had to turn off the ultrasound, not without showing Kyung Soo what they were seeing, what was every shade and shape. When they were back to her desk, he was in a state of elation, to say the least “So, everything is great, let's keep some precautions, no stairs or excessive exercise, the baby is great, but this is the first one and inseminations require extra care, keep having your calcium supplements and no sex for at least one more month Ok?” She gasped and looked around awkwardly, Kyung Soo reacted very similarly. She could imagine how funny was for the doctor to watch this insufferable awkward couple “Oh, so is not that kind of friendship, Ok, let's all move along, any questions?” They were both questionless, so they left the room quickly to avoid any more awkwardness. They were on the second floor, just one set of stairs. She was walking towards them, but Kyung Soo stopped her holding her waist, or what was left of it and turned around to the elevator. She was going to complain, it was only one set of stairs, but she preferred to enjoy being taking care of. In fact, the day was going great, having him there was amazing, better than she could have ever imagined, and going out of the hospital to part ways brought her down quite a bit “You need to go back to the restaurant?” She was determination itself, she was going to keep enjoying the rest of the day with him. She was sure the feeling in her tummy wasn’t her baby moving around her womb “No, I'm not opening today” “You wanna go for a walk?” Asking him didn’t feel as hard as she would imagine “I have a better idea, let's go on a date” Kyung Soo was trying to act cool, but she could see a slight twitch on his lips. He could be nervous or embarrassed. And she felt exactly the same. A hot rush went up her neck and settled in her cheeks. As before, she was sure it wasn’t the pregnancy. She tried to cover her cheeks with her hands, just adding more to the situation “How cute” He commented, imitating the gesture of her hands “Is my blood pressure, the pregnancy makes it weird, I'm not like this because the guy I like asked me out” “How cute!” He commented again between goofy laughs. He took one of her hands, uncovering her face and pulled her with him. He invited her for lunch to a restaurant that he really liked. She was famished and she felt like she could eat at least two dishes. When she told him that, he told her to go ahead. She really liked that. She didn’t do it, but she appreciated the support “I didn’t ask you, I’m still a bit in shock…we are having a girl, you wanted a girl?” There was some awkwardness in his question and it was understandable. She felt the same. Everything was very new and sudden, but she knew he was confident about it. He had show it “Yes, I hate to admit it, but I always imagine myself with a girl, you?” She regretted asking that, of course, Kyung Soo didn’t imagine anything, this wasn’t his plan, men don’t imagine those things. It was one of those women things “Of course the priority is health, boy or girl, if they are healthy is all that matters, but I was so, so happy when the doctor said it was a girl, the possibilities are so many with a girl” Any doubt about Kyung Soo’s intentions coming to the hospital that day was over. She didn’t know if he was there out of guilt, or just trying to do the right thing, but looking at him there in front of her, drinking his coffee with a soft smile on his lips, she knew he was doing this genuinely. She didn’t eat two plates, but she did eat a slice of cake and a chocolate chip cookie. During her pregnancy, she didn’t have a lot of cravings, but her baby really liked sugar “So she is going to be an active girl” Kyung Soo told her when she shared her food preferences with him “Oh no, I was hoping she could be like me, still as a picture, what about you? You ere a good kid right?” “My mom says I was until I went to school, but I was a good kid overall, I never got in trouble” She didn’t think otherwise “Were you a good student?” “No, I hated going to school, you?” “Same, I only liked math class, if it weren’t for Junmyeon who did all my homework and borrowed me his notes I wouldn't have made it…I was smart, but not the kind of smart schools needs” Kyung Soo tapped the table and pointed at her “That’s it! That’s it! We are all smart, but school only cares about one kind of smart, I’m glad you did well though” “We did” Kyung Soo riced his glass of wine and clinked her lemonade. She wished it was a glass of wine too. She sighed heavily drinking her last bit of juice. Kyung Soo asked her what was wrong “Remember when I told you that dating me wouldn’t be fair because the me you will encounter now is different, my mood is going to be weird as hell and all that? Well, that applies to this kind of things too, I can’t go for drinks with you and get drunk, we can’t go for walks because my feet are not dealing well with this pregnancy, we can’t go for long drives because my bladder shrunk, we can’t even kiss because I look huge!” And of course, she followed that statement by shoving the last bit of cookie in her mouth. She was half-joking, half being honest but Kyung Soo just took it seriously. Not completely though, he wasn't laughing, but an involuntary smile, maybe a shy smile, kept pulling the corner of his lips as he spoke "When I met you, you weren't pregnant and I liked you, now you are, and I still like you, with all the changes" She knew this time it wasn't the baby moving because she felt the tickles not only in her stomach, also in her chest, back and legs "It would have been perfect if you said that you liked me more now" "I like you more now " She laughed, but he didn't. She didn’t care if he was lying or if it was the truth, it felt amazing to hear that from him and that was all that mattered. Kyung Soo accepted when she offered to pay for the food but made her promise that next time he was paying. She agreed as long as there was a next one. He asked her what she wanted to do now as he held her hand, his body language always clear, the date wasn’t over yet "Since now I know we are having a girl, I feel like buying her a gender-specific something, wanna come with me? " "Really? Can I buy her something too? " "As long as you don't buy her a knife" He took a step closer to her, laughing merrily but stopped rather suddenly as if colliding with something. He stopped laughing and turned his head away. He went shy and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He didn’t let go of her hand but separated from her a little bit, not meeting her eyes until she called his name and pulled him with her to the sidewalk so they could go shopping. She didn’t understand why he acted like that. His change was sudden and caught her off guard. But it didn’t matter now. She was planning on thinking about it obsessively at night, but now she had better things to do, like keep enjoying her date. They walked a couple of street until they reached a strip mall with a baby clothing store. They got in, she was already used to go inside a baby store and buy whatever she needed. The amount of cuteness and little things didn’t shock her anymore. But for Kyung Soo, it was all new. He went straight to the girl section and his eyes moved from one side to the other, his smile a mixture between wonder and happiness. He grabbed a set of baby shoes, each shoe not bigger than a peach. He turned around and showed them to her “She is going to be this tiny?” “Hopefully not tinier than that, you like those?” He nodded looking at them in awe “I’m going to buy them for her” He pulled them closer to his chest and kept looking around the store, constantly commenting on how cute and tiny they were. She let him wander around as she picked a light pink onesie with delicate embroidered around the chest and the hospital bag to put all the things she would need for the day of the delivery. He asked why she needed such a big bag. The bag brought another issue. Now that he expressed his need to be involved, he naturally had a lot of questions regarding the birth and the previous process. Was she living by herself? By the 8th or 9th month who was going to take care of her? Who was going to take her to the hospital? Was she having a c-section or natural birth? And after that, who was going to help her? The answer to most of those questions was Junmyeon. “He and his girlfriend are planning on taking care of me, the plan is that I will move to his apartment but since he has to work, his girlfriend offered to stay with me. We have the same job, so she is planning on working from home, I think I’m going to move there in a couple of months? I don’t want to invade their space” “I wish I could offer you my place, but I live with Jongin and I work 20 hours a day” She let him know that again, she wasn’t expecting anything from him “But I have enough time now to find someone who can replace me at the restaurant after you give birth, I think I can be more useful there” That sounded so nice. So very nice. Having him there to bring her calm and help when she was going to need it the most. Because now the harder thing to do was tying her shoes and maybe find the right position to sleep. But after their child was born…that was going to be hard with capital h. But still, the idea sounded too unfair for him, before she could refuse, Kyung Soo made her stand in front of her holding to her arms “It’s not unfair for me…I want to be there, please let me be there with you” Did he just read her head? It didn’t matter how bad she could feel for him and his current accidental situation, but if he honestly wanted to be there, she couldn’t deny him that experience. And she didn’t want to say no either. She wanted to be with him. She encircled his waist and brought her cheek closer to his chest. She thanked him. Her voice low as a whisper, her happiness clogging her throat, but she knew he had heard her. He hugged her tight and she felt his lips on her head. He wasn’t kissing her, but it was still warm and scarring in the sweetest way. There was nothing else to say. He was planning to accompany her. The details could be arranged later, now they could only feel calm and confident that they were there for each other “What else do you want to do in our improvised first date? We already ate and then bought things for our daughter, What other things people do in their first dates?” Has Kyung Soo always being this funny. This was the second time that day that he made her laugh hard enough to make her tear up a little bit “I would love to do more things with you, but I’m so tired, I already walked enough, my feet are a bit swollen” He pulled away from her startled, examining her “Are you tired? Your feet hurt? Are you ok?” His wide eyes looked at her in concern but lost a bit of it when she smiled at him “I’m ok, just tired” “Then I should take you home” Her hands flew to his cheeks, caressing him “How can you always say what I need to hear?” He shrugged, looking down flustered. He was so cute. So incredibly cute. And she loved that of him. But he was also loyal, funny, smart, respectful, mature, the most selfless person she had ever met. Commit to this with her was the biggest proof of it. He stopped a taxi and helped her get inside. He gave the driver her address, and she kind of liked how he knew it by memory after sending her all those meals. The streets were already packed, red lights seamed longer. She took a deep breath preparing for the extra 30 minutes it will take them to go home. The inside of the taxi was warm, the driver was playing some nice jazz and the seats were soft, it was perfect for her tired body. She scooched to Kyung Soo's side and rested her head on his shoulder "Too tired?" He asked with a smile on his mouth "Yes, it was a very exciting day" "We have a long way to your place, rest" He arranged his body so she could rest more comfortably and grabbed her right hand, resting them on his thigh. His warmth sept into her being and comforted her "Kyung Soo keep talking, your voice relaxes me" She knew this could put him in the spot, and she also knew he wasn’t very talkative. But she didn’t need a Ted Talk. A simple description of his last visit to her parent's house, or what he saw on TV would do it. But he gave her more than she expected. He called her by her name all the time. Each question escorted by his voice muttering her name in a unique way. Sweet and familiar. As if he had christened you with it so he knew how to use it. She didn't fall asleep, to interested in Kyung Soo's stories, but her entire body felt energized by his presence and peace. He called her name again and vacillated for a moment before asking her “You think it’s gonna work out between you and me?” “I think it will, what we have is rather young, but I have trust in me and especially in you, why you ask?” He twisted his body to her side so he could cuddle her closer “It’s just…you are ones and zeros and I am fat and salt” “You mean we are different” He nodded “I’m ok with that, but what is really worrying you” She tried to move to look at him, but he stopped her, maybe he wanted a bit of privacy to express his worries “As you said, what we have is young, but there is a lot in the middle, not only our daughter but also how we reach this point, I feel like if this didn’t work it would hurt me so badly…so I wanted some reassurance from you, some extra hope” She wanted to turn around and kiss him, hug him, kiss his face and hug him again, he wanted to give him that hope. But he wasn’t done yet, his grip kept enabling her from moving “My feelings for you came so suddenly and with so much force, I pinned for you for so long, and maybe the way our relationship developed was not normal, but that doesn’t change anything about how I feel for you…I’m so sorry that I’m saying this here, but I guess the closeness gave me some braveness” “Don’t worry…Kyung Soo, If you are determinate to do this with me and at the same time love me and take me as your partner I’m into this too, for what I heard, we have walked the same path, at the same time…I also fell for you hard, and pinned for a while too…my only sin was to rush into doing this, if I have waited a little bit things could have developed normally” He chuckled next to her, agreeing with her, but not shaming her “I wonder…what if the sample I purchased had belonged to another man?...” He was quick to answer “Nothing would have changed, we would be here, In the same place, coming back home after finding out we were having a girl” It felt like a miracle. That moment felt like a miracle. Finding him wasn’t something that could happen as an accident. Someone or something for some reason considered that she was worthy of someone like Kyung Soo and put his restaurant on her path, and made her set her eyes on his folder at the fertility clinic. Nothing could be a coincidence. It was a miracle. She released his hand and passed her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. She was afraid of speaking, she might cry and turn this into a very cheesy movie. So, she only hugged him, she knew it was enough. As she predicted, it took them almost an hour to arrive home. She wasn’t tired any more thanks to the very fulfilling trip. The driver wished them a good night and good luck with the birth of her baby. It was very nice how everybody was somehow nicer with you when you were pregnant. They got inside the building holding hands, she was a bit cold so he made sure to bring her inside quickly. They kept chatting on the elevator, a part of her head a bit nervous about having Kyung Soo in her house, but calm. Kyung Soo looked relaxed, so that spread to her. She opened the door and Kyung Soo held it open so they could go inside. She tried to kick her shoes off but her laces were a bit too tight and crunching down to untie them was a bit of a shore “I will help you” He got down in one knee and undid the double knots of her shoes. He did it quickly and she stood in the step of the entrance waiting for him to get rid of his own shoes. She stared at the top of his head and her chest felt this yearning that was hard to understand or control. It was suffocating “Kyung Soo?” He hummed his response, leaving his shoes next to hers, feeling at home “Before, when we were outside the restaurant, were you going to kiss me?” She felt a bit guilty for attacking like that, but his face was kind of priceless. Like a kid who was caught stealing candy. She waited for him until he could look at her “I wanted to, but I thought it wasn't the right time” She imagined that much, the way he stopped himself was very clear “What about now? Is the right time?” She did her best to sound flirty, playful so he could relax, so he could see that these kinds of things don’t need that much thinking. And it worked because he laughed and looked up at her “It... I think... It is” Perfectly synchronized, as she moved her arms to his shoulders, he passed his around her waist. She liked the position, she was a bit taller since she was standing on the doorstep so he could look at his face perfectly, the right angle. His adoring gaze and an amused grin. There was a bit of nervousness, but how not to. She was sure she was looking at him with the exact same eyes. She tangled her fingers in her short hair, pulling him closer as she leaned down. She felt goosebumps over her skin when his breath fanned her lips. Her heavy eyelids closed when she finally felt his soft lips against hers. She lost the ability to breathe for a moment, not only for the shock but also because she focused on his kiss. She engrossed herself on his kiss so she could enjoy it and remember it for the years to come. If he could describe the kiss, she would describe it as Kyung Soo. It was just the kind of kiss she would expect from a man like him. It was paced, but deep. His lips warm, soft and enchanting. He was also playful, nibbling her lower lip and tugging it sensuously, as his hands slid up her back pulling her as closely as he could. It was new, but it felt safe. It was just like him. He kissed her slowly, making it last. The kiss was short but it felt longer. His eyes opened up slowly, looking up at her. They shined like she had never seen before and pulled her in. She followed them and kissed him again, just pecking them a couple of times. It made him smile and that was all she wanted. He was so close to her. Her hands moved to his nape caressing him, making him sight in contempt and then she framed his face, caressing his cheeks that felt warmer all of the sudden, maybe for feeling observed so closely by her “I was waiting for that” She whispered, caressing the corner of his lips “But I’m glad we waited for it” “We do everything backward uh? First I got you pregnant, then I kissed you” She snorted embarrassingly, making him laugh too “Should we get married tomorrow and then date?” He asked, and she only laughed. He tucked himself tighter, resting his head on her chest and she cradled him naturally between her arms, caressing his head “How can I get so lucky? although you might not feel the same, this was never your plan” She commented, although it was more like thinking out loud. She wasn’t expecting an answer “It wasn't, but I feel lucky too, I feel very lucky” She took a deep breath, the emotion clinging to her throat. She thanked him with a string of voice and he looked up at her, thanking her too. About 15 minutes had passed and they were still at the threshold, so she invited him in, holding his hands and pulling him in. She showed him around her flat, especially the room of their daughter. He was very interested in watching her tiny toys and tiny clothes. They shared a cup of tea in the living room as the night came. It was almost dinner time. She was hungry already. Double hungry “Should I prepared us something? Should we order?” She offered, just trying to be a good hostess. He looked a bit displeased, not to say offended “I can cook you something” He was already walking inside the kitchen “Really?” “Yeah, really, what do you want?” She didn’t need to think too much about it “Chicken stew, I love your chicken stew” He turned around grabbing her apron and tightening around his waist “Chicken stew it is” He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her on the cheek and then for the first time rested his hands on her belly. She had felt her baby move around the entire afternoon, the normal fluttering feeling, but for the first time, she felt a kick. A deaf thud, not a jab, but close. She jumped in surprise. They both looked at her belly and then up. They didn’t say a thing, it was clear what just had happened, and she was so glad he felt it too. He moved his hands over her stomach, slowly and with much care. And it happened again. She yelped in surprise. And he laughed merrily, that cute goofy laugh she loved so much. They stayed like that, looking at her tummy for a long time. Kyung Soo was silent, but he didn’t need to say anything to show how happy and dumbfounded he was. She wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what to say. She brought his head up, holding his face with care. Between all the emotions they felt at that moment, there was one that she felt a long time ago but it was new for him, for sure. That tiny movement that felt like an explosion for her was that last proof that all this was real. And that day Kyung Soo not only had felt the baby move but also saw her daughter for the first time. He must have felt like a soup of feelings, from happiness to fear. She knew that feeling well “We can order something to eat” She offered again, thinking he could have a hard time focusing, but he shook his head with decision “No, no way, now I have to cook for the three of us” He caressed her tummy for the last time, and the baby only moved around, she could feel it but was sure that he couldn’t. He kissed her on the lips, a soft peck that could still make her blush and then turned around, opening her well-stocked fridge. He told her to go to the living room and seat on her sofa. She was sure that for at least thirty minutes Kyung Soo would be completely focused on his cooking. On making his warm, healing and delicious Chicken Stew.

-END-

Notes: Last story from the trilogy. It took me a while, you know why, so thank you for the constant support.

I saw this story somewhere before. A single mom that got inseminated meets a guy and they get married. Then her child needs a transplant or something, they make blood tests and stuff and bang! He was the real dad all along!!! That inspired this story.

Because of my career, I know a lot about the development of the fetus in the womb, but little about how the moms feel, so thank you to planned parenthood.org for all the answers.

Also, I don’t want kids.

#exosnet #kyung soo fanfic #kyung soo fanfiction #d.o fanfic #d.o fluff #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo fluff #Kyungsoo #do kyungsoo #d.o

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lisinfleur · 5 years

Text

Knot on your tongue

The request:

Universe | Vikings, Lothbrok Trading C.O. AU Pairing | No pair Info | Modern Age AU, CEO! Ivar, Spanish Speaker! Friend! Business Woman! Reader, requested by anon for 5CW7 Words | 2273 ⁑ Warnings: Might content some language mistakes (non-speaker of Spanish here… Sorry!).

"It's always a pleasure to work with people like you, Señor Lothbrok," your father said, shaking that man's hand, treating him with respect, as if he wasn't at least thirty years younger than him.

But the man with which your father was dealing at that meeting was nothing less than the current CEO of the biggest trading company of the market, buying the actions of your father's company for an amount that would warrant his deserved retirement, your life, and probably the life of the children you weren't thinking of having yet. And even paying this amount of money, Ivar Lothbrok accepted to have you as a counselor in his administration of your father's boats and docks. The company would, somehow, still be in your family's hands, honoring the years of your father's life that were invested in building that business.

You were extremely satisfied in seeing that smile on your father's face, but you couldn't miss Ivar's expression and the confusion in his eyes with lots of the words your father spoke during that meeting. It wasn't hard to see his lips in clumsy curves that were practically denouncing his complete unknowledge of your mother language - not something you would expect from a man of worldwide businesses like him, but something you would expect from a man used to make the great majority of his deals past the Middle East or across the Russian territory: The Lothbrok company was expanding to the west with your father's company acquisition - which was another reason why you convinced your father it would be a good deal: your company was the first one to count with the Lothbrok Trading C.O. interest and support and with their financial investment, your business would multiply the routes, increase the number of boats and you were sure you would see your father's business swallowing great part of the concurrence around.

It was a dream becoming true for your old man, but also, it was a plan for a lifetime career for you and if you wanted to sustain this, you knew that keeping your relationship closer to the group CEOs would be something crucial.

Of course, you heard the stupidity around the former shareholders of your enterprise - naturally pissed off with the negotiation that took from them the shares they thought would be theirs entirely after your father decided to retire. All of them were betting your father would marry you to any of the Ragnarssons and when Ivar came to consolidate the negotiation, you heard tons of jokes and misogynist words saying things from your father putting a real trustable mind in front of his business to him marrying you to the lamest of the Ragnarssons to ensure your inheritance would come sooner.

What those stupid old misogynist scum-bags didn't know is that you were the head behind the whole project, you were the one who went to the Scandinavian headquarters of the Lothbrok Trading C.O. to make the presentations that convinced all the five Ragnarssons that your business was worth to be bought and that deal was valuable for their expansion plans. You had no plans to marry any of them or none of that shit they thought you would do. You were a hell of a shark in their sea and the big fishes didn't notice your talent until it was too late for their wallets and the deal was closed despite their discontentment.

And this talent was exactly what allowed you to notice Ivar's discomfort with your father's expressions he couldn't fully understand. So, when your father apologized for leaving the place without sharing the meal they were planning to since he had to prepare the documentation for his retirement, you smiled at Ivar, accepting his invitation for a casual lunch.

You took him to a traditional restaurant near your office almost to confirm your speculation: Ivar's forehead furrowed while he was trying to read the menu and since it was a not so famous place, the thing was entirely in Spanish, not translated to the English he was used to using in their international negotiations.

"I... I'll follow you," he smiled, using the classic exit for moments like that, but you smiled back at him, comprehensively.

"I can help you with the menu if you admit you cannot read it, señior Lothbrok," you joked, repeating your father's way to call him.

The two of you had already talked a lot in the last year for you and Ivar to have some more intimacy and so, you were already able to treat him informally when the two of you weren't stuck into any office around the world. Björn was more serious for you, more distant. But he and the other brothers were already close enough for you to smile at his eyes rolling on the other side of the table.

"You're really having fun with it, aren't you?" he complained and you giggled.

"To be honest?" you left open, receiving one of those discontents smiles of his, only to smile a little bigger at him. "Yes, Ivar. It is interesting to see an intelligent man like you struggling with a simple menu, afraid of making an order and ending up with a plate of sauce or something stupid like this in your table. Or losing the chance to get the waitress's number just because you didn't understand that ‘guapo’ has nothing to do with your condition." you giggled at his surprised expression.

Yeah, you noticed the confusion in his eyes and how he didn't know exactly how to answer at the giggles among the waitresses, not knowing if they were mocking him because of his crutch but surely taking it the worst way since anything about his condition was a weak spot for him.

"She said you're handsome. That's why she's looking at you since we got into the restaurant," you translated for his surprise, almost laughing when he looked at the waitress and then at you again, fully shocked with what she said.

"She..." he started and you completed.

"She's interested. Yeah, but you'll probably need an interpreter to understand whatever she'll say at the phone when you call. So, why don't you let me help you with my language instead of keeping struggling with your pride, uh?"

Ivar sighed, defeated. He was a man pretty full of pride and you couldn't blame him for this. During the time the two of you worked together you could really understand the deepest effort he made to raise his position so, you could completely understand his difficulty in admitting he needed some help.

"Fine..." he said, looking at you. "Fine," he repeated, more decided. "You're right. I need help with this thing. What the heck is a m... moe... mol-a-e-h," he rolled his tong and you smiled, trying to avoid giggling to prevent him to be offended.

"Mole. You say 'mol-eh'. It's a sauce. There is a lot of different recipes of mole, but this one is the mole poblano, usually served with turkey or chicken, see?" you showed him the picture at the menu, smiling with the attention in his eyes.

"Mol-eh," Ivar repeated, trying to get the pronunciation. "Mol-eh po... pobl...Jez... This will be a long ride," he sighed and you smiled.

"Nothing like learning your native Norwegian, my friend," you said, giggling this time of your complete inability to order anything but 'en fika' - that was a coffee with cookies you learned how to order in Swedish (The closer to Norwegian you would ever understand).

"I can try teaching you Norwegian in exchange. This way I won't feel such an ass when I start rolling my tongue to say these things... What's a po... poz...What is this?" he pointed the posole name, making you smile.

"Pozole. It's kind of a stew made with sweet corn, chili and pork or chicken. They have three variations here: green, white, and red, here... Verde, blanco o rojo," you pointed the words, teaching him how to say them. "It's a very spicy dish, but maybe you'll like it since you like challenges," you smiled.

"I'll try these so, one of each so I can see the differences," he smiled.

"Then make your order, Ivar," you smiled, pointing the waitress and causing him to gulp dry looking at you. "Say... 'Me gustaría las pequeñas porciones de Pozole, los tres.'" you taught, speaking slowly.

"Me gustaría... las p-pequeñas porciones de Po.. Pozole... los tres." he tried to repeat and you smiled.

"Almost there. Try again, slower. You don't need to speak in our speed," you advised, "Sometimes, we speak too quickly for the beginners, but you'll reach this point, don't worry."

"Me gustaría las peque-ñas porciones de... Pozole, los tres," he repeated, this time slower, more secure.

"Good. She'll get you, now call her..." you smiled, ready to make a little prank with him.

He raised his hand and the waitress who was looking at him came, shyly smiling at him.

"¿Cómo puedo ayudarlo, señor?" she said, and you nodded at him who softly cleaned his throat before trying the sentence you taught him to.

"Me gustaría... las pequeñas porciones de... Pozole." Ivar pointed the dish at the menu to ensure she would understand. "Los tres," he completed and she smiled, noticing he was learning to speak her language, softly reducing her speed to speak thinking he would understand her better.

"En un minuto, señor," she smiled looking at you, and you asked her for your favorite dish in that place, waiting as she took note of everything. "¿Algo más?" she asked and you smiled when he looked at you.

"How do I say 'not now?'" he asked and you smiled bigger.

"You say 'Ahora no, preciosa,'" you said, and he repeated, causing the waitress's face to burst in red as she smiled, leaving to take your orders with a giggle that caused Ivar to raise his brow.

"You tricked me," he said and you laughed, looking at him. "What did I say?"

"You said 'Not now, beautiful,'" you translated and he rolled his eyes looking at you.

"You're just like Hvitserk, always trying to get women in my life."

"Well, you should take the chances life is giving you, Ivar. You won't be young forever. And what's the matter of some drinks tonight with the beautiful waitress that's putting her phone number on the napkin of your tray right now? Uh?" you smiled and Ivar couldn't hold back his smile as well.

In the end, the two of you really became good friends and it was good to have some moments out of his business with you like that.

"You know you'll have to go with us, right?"

"I follow what I say, Ivar... I'm also in need of some moments out of the office," you smiled. "It will be good to have some fun tonight with your Spanish lessons," you joked and he smiled.

"Just keep in mind you won't flee from a night with my brothers and I when we come back to Kattegat..." he stated and it was your time to smile, surprised.

"We?" you asked, looking at him.

"As my personal counselor and future CEO of the Lothbrok Trading C.O. West Headquarters, I think you'll need to spend some more time with your colleagues..." he said as if he wasn't shotting in your face with those words.

"CE-What??"

It was his time to giggle, and he looked at you with security in his blues.

"Don't play the surprised one, Y/N. I can see your talent. You're a shark... Just like Björn and I. You're into this world until your neck and you know how to play with the tides here... If I will leave the West unity with someone of my trust, this person will be you. I settled everything with your father. He'll retire, and you'll assume. Your sector will be as big as mine, so I thought you should have a befitting position."

"But..." you coughed, still taken aback, "I thought the..."

"The positions of command are for the ones who know how to rule, Y/N. It doesn't really matter if you're a part of my family or not. The great secret of the Lothbrok Trading C.O. success around the world is that we didn't try to hold everything in our own hands. Of course, we keep the majority of the shares in the family and we're the heads of everything, but such as Björn has Halfdan right under him, I intend to keep you as my man of trust here. Or better saying, woman of trust," he smiled.

You never thought you would go this far so quickly, but you couldn't avoid smiling back at him.

"I won't betray your trust, my friend," you said, smiling proudly.

"I'm giving you this position exactly for knowing you won't," he answered, firm in his decision, showing you it was something that was certain in his head quite before you could ever dream with this. "We settle the documents tomorrow at the office. But now, I want to enjoy this Pozole and learn how do I ask that beautiful waitress about what time she leaves her turn so we can take her for a drink with us tonight..."

Ivar's smile became slightly malicious and you giggled as he sipped from the cup of water in his hand. His eyes on the waitress smiling at him from the door of the kitchen. It would be a fun time and a good way to celebrate your most recent success...

And maybe to help an introvert friend to get some good time for the night.

Do you like my work? Support me!

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#history vikings #imagine vikings #ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar imagine #ivar ragnarsson #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #sister wives #5CW #5CW Event #5CWIvar2 #shot #later works

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pokeshippingflashfic · 5 years

Note

sentence prompt if you’re feeling up to it? :D “You kissed me, and you know it, too!”

“I know what you did, Ash.”

The words are a breathless, almost threatening, hiss from behind him as he’s begrudgingly washing Brock’s cookware in a nearby stream after their latest meal on the road as a group.

“Mwah! Oh, uh, M - Misty, what’re ya doin’ here…?” he asks with just enough aversion from her intense gaze to make her even more assuredly suspicious, turning back much too quickly to continue his chore before continuing to speak. “Oh, and, uh… what are ya talkin’ about?”

She squints dubiously at his back, willing him with her glare to simply jump up and confess but he of course does no such thing so she decides to cunningly elaborate just enough to jog his memory (and, hey, if doing so also happens to thoroughly embarrass him then that’s just as well in her opinion).

“Earlier today when Team Rocket attacked…”

No more acknowledgement to this minuscule clue than a single grunt.

“… and then Jigglypuff showed up…”

He sighs now, dries off the pot Brock cooked his apple and pork stew in, sets it aside on another towel, and finally side-eyes her, exasperatedly waiting for her continuation.

“… and put us all to sleep.”

“Yeah, okay, I remember… Is this about how we somehow woke up next to each other? Or about how our legs were tangled up a little bit together?” There’s finally a brief flash of panic (and, dare she believe it) a faint puce blush discoloring his otherwise tan face.

Ash leaps to his feet, nearly tripping over his own toes, dropping the dish wand on the ground but holding up the group’s cutting board as if brandishing a weapon of sorts.

“Look Misty, you can’t blame me for that! Jigglypuff put us to sleep! It’s not like we had time to set up our sleeping bags! A - and you had your arm wrapped around my shoulder s - so we’re either both innocent or both guilty, okay?” he yelps, clearly ignorant to her sigh of frustration (or else attributing it to him apparently trying to dodge any responsibility).

“I - I’m not talking about that!” she exclaims hotly with a stomp of her foot. “I - I mean, who even cares about how we woke up?” Not her, no siree, there was absolutely nothing weird or overly comforting about that experience so they’d best move on quickly and never look back at it.

“Oh, well then,” and he drops his arms to his sides and shrugs again, “I really dunno what you’re talking about.”

She groans, masking fury with a somewhat softer vexation, obviously unwilling to admit why she wants him to confess but finding no alternate avenue to get him to that point anytime soon.

“Of course you know what I’m talking about! Don’t play dumb, Ash! You kissed me, and you know it too!” she practically shrieks, jabbing in his direction with a judgmental index finger.

“I… did… mwah?! What? Huh? Me?! No I didn’t! I would never!” His hyperventilation mistaken at first for pure ignorance, he couldn’t help but rectify it by adding a scathing personal slight at her. “I - I mean, as if I ever would? Me, kiss you? C’mon, Mist, don’t be crazy.”

“So you’re just gonna deny it?” she seethes back at him, only able to hold in her visceral instinctive violence at his insult by clenching her fists so tight her knuckles turn a splotchy red.

“Of course I am! I wanna know what makes you think I’d ever even bother doing something like that with you?”

“I’m not thinking anything, Mr. Pokemon Master! I know what I felt back there. Before Team Rocket and Jigglypuff came along, you were drinking ice water. And then when Jigglypuff put us to sleep… It felt cold and moist! Like an eel or something slimy! I guess it suits you though, huh?” she finishes deducing snidely, turning her nose up at him and jamming her hands against her hips.

After all, if he was gonna play dirty, why should she worry about keeping to a fair game?

“Hey! Just ‘cause you had some weirdo dream about me layin’ one on ya doesn’t mean you get to make up lies! If I actually wanted to kiss you,” there was a brief balking beat of quiet as both young teens blushed awkwardly at the thought and Ash cleared his throat to go the distance and finish his line, “it woulda left you speechless!”

“Well first of all, I didn’t dream anything, Ash Ketchum! I know what I felt, it happened right before we all fell asleep. And you were the only one nearby when we were knocked out so who else could it have been?!”

“All the more reason it probably wasn’t real,” he responded with a resigned shrug and shake of his head.

“But secondly, it goes without saying that I wouldn’t let you kiss me in a hundred years if I had any choice in the matter! Trust ya to take advantage of a girl falling unconscious! You’re starting to remind me of Brock with moves like that!” she huffs darkly with an icy stare, and despite everything (including the truth), he’s left feeling like a shriveled slug ready to be crushed under her heel.

“I - I told ya already that I didn’t–”

Any further debate of the subject is put on hold by the sound of a frantic scurrying as Pikachu dashes from behind some foliage and greets two of his favorite trainers, expression turning from cheerful to confused by the clearly aggressive stances and atmosphere greeting him.

“Oh, hey buddy,” the young male trainer begins hastily, gathering up their assorted supplies into his arms and smiling clumsily at him, “I guess this took me longer than I planned. Did I worry ya? It’s fine though; I’m done so we can head back now.”

He brushes swiftly past her, hoping the unbearable topic can be put to rest at least for now but…

“Hey, don’t think this is over, Ash! I’m not letting you get away that easily! You better just admit it!”

Misty turns so quickly on her heel that she feels something pull haphazardly in the wrong direction, flinching but otherwise belaying no knowledge of her self-induced injury, flying back in front of her tentative friend and glaring daggers at him.

When she’d first sneaked away from the group’s campsite to confront him, a small glimmer of hope had taken stead within her. This was her chance, she’d thought. Maybe she could finally see… what he really thought. After all, if something as explicit as a kiss had truly taken place between them, how could either of them go on acting like they didn’t care about one another? That they didn’t… love like each other in a romantic way?

But her hope was doused rather quickly in reality and she’s no longer looking to make it flourish anew. Now she’s looking for vengeance.

Ash Ketchum stole a kiss from her and is pretending it didn’t happen. That’s entirely too unacceptable for her to let him walk away unscathed.

“Pikapi? Pikachu kachu pikachupi?”

But she wasn’t counting on an audience arriving for any part of their encounter.

“Heh, it’s nothing, Pikachu. Just another silly fight, right, Misty?”

“It’s not silly,” she mutters furiously with watery eyes, blinking away enraged tears, clearing her throat, “It’s not silly to me and I don’t… I can’t have you blowing it off. Earlier today when Jigglypuff sung their song and put us to sleep, you kissed me. Even if it was an accident… even if you don’t want to admit it… what’s the harm, huh? I don’t want or expect anything else from you.”

Ash stares evenly at her, no time to respond to her latest sentimental accusation.

“Pika…” the electric mouse replies despondently, wriggling uneasily from his position on the ground… before suddenly stiffening into a bipedal posture and leaping forward to grasp her around her ankle. “Pikachupi!”

“Wah…? Pikachu, what’re you doing? Look, it may not seem like it but this is an important conversation between your trainer and I.”

“Pikachupi! Pika pikachu pikapi chu pika!”

He doesn’t let up, doesn’t give her a chance to look away, draws Ash’s attention as well to his one player game of charades. He points at them each individually, then himself before scrabbling up Ash’s back and onto his shoulder. Finally, in true acrobatic spirit, he tumbles forward in a roll from the top of his trainer’s torso, landing briefly in his arms before making an effort to flip into Misty’s.

Finally, he stretches up from where he’s perched and taps his nose against her lips.

His cold, moist nose.

And Ash and Misty, both starting the show as a rather unanimously bewildered audience, end it with the same expression of wide-eyed comprehension dawning over them in a crushing wave.

Misty feels her bones turn to liquid in an attempt to disappear from the face of the earth before the words are even out of his mouth.

“I think what Pikachu is trying to say,” and Ash isn’t sure if he’s trying to hurt or help the situation at this point, “is that he’s your culprit.”

(So… sequel? I’m thinking sequel. Anyway, here’s this request [semi-]fulfilled. It was meant to be more funny at first but of course I had to throw some dramatics in there. Imagine how guilty Misty’s gonna feel once the mortification and anger wear off, huh? :-D)

#pokeshipping #flash fic #fanfiction #aaml #ash x misty #requests #word count: 1497 #anon #Anonymous

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journal-of-an-outlaw · 5 years

Text

Price to be Paid - Chapter 13

The Next Big Step (AO3 Link)

Words: 5,413

After Arthur walked away from you and the wagon, you stayed glued to the spot where everything had changed.

Arthur Morgan had just kissed you. And boy, did he kiss you good.

Your mind reeled from the shift your friendship had taken. Off in the distance you could hear him and Hosea talking, the low bass and the higher tenor tones resonating to your location. A laugh burst out, and you hoped all was well and forgotten The two had a long history, it certainly wasn’t the first time the younger man had acted out.

Abigail rounded the wagon and found you smiling at no one and lost in your head.

“YN, you okay? What’s going on?”

“Jesus! Abigail, you scared me. Nothing, just looking out at the water.” You held your hand over your heart at the fright and wondered how you must have looked.

Your friend just laughed softly and joined you leaning against the wagon, a cup of coffee steaming in her hands that she sipped quietly. It was nice to enjoy her company after all this time, for she truly was the reason you were there at all.

“How are things? Jack liking his new books?”

He was, in fact he had already gone through one and was hinting at Hosea everyday that he needed a new one.

John had gone and done something foolish again that caused Abigail pain, and you wondered what everyone saw in him that gave him such high regards in camp. He was similar to Arthur in the sense he was raised by Dutch and Hosea, but his mistakes defined him and physically reflected with the new scars he sported from a wolf encounter back in Colter.

“Good evening, everyone! How is camp on this here fine, fine night?” Dutch’s voice rang out as he entered the scene, returning from wherever his grand plan took him today. His white horse, The Count, was tied up next to Old Boy and John waved Abigail over. She squeezed your arm and left, and you watched Arthur approach Dutch with something in his hands. The towel moved, and a glimmer of gold caught your eye. Dutch enthusiastically clapped Arthur’s shoulder and swung his gaze around camp, looking for someone.

“This, folks, is a win for today! See what faith in old Dutch can do? Our newest member, YN, has brought back a gold bar for the camp funds! That is some fine work you did with that treasure map!” Dutch promised to raise a glass in your honor later that night and you blushed at the attention.

Arthur walked over to you, giving your hand a subtle squeeze. “I told Dutch it was all you today with them gold bars, and that the biggest one was going to camp.” His voice was a whisper, but you could feel his breath against your cheek as he leaned in.

“You did not have to do that, Arthur. But thank you.”

He smiled and sat down, radiating an energy you couldn't quite nail down. Fingers tapped the wood table in a happy rhythm that matched his leg bouncing just out of sight. You longed to cover his hand with your own but the whole gang was sitting nearby and you still weren’t sure how things stood in a public setting.

It sure would be interested to see how this played out.

As you lay awake in your tent that night, you tried to sort out your feelings from the facts. After years of abuse you had escaped the tight grip of your father and found a new life. Fact. The same man who stole you from that fate also stole your heart. Feeling. You had learned to hunt, be around new folks, defend yourself, and even fight a little. Another fact. Your father, a bad man with a badge and a drinking problem, was probably out there looking for you while also searching for the Van der Linde gang. Again, fact. Arthur Morgan was one of the most complex men you had ever met, and yet still strived to do good in a world that demanded something different from him. Probably feeling, but you put it in the fact column due to your personal bias.

Sleep came easy after your mind was sorted, and the warm ball of energy never left your chest as you floated from dream to dream.

A sweet surprise was waiting for you on your pillow once you opened your eyes. It was a small white flower with no scent, but stunning petals and a beautiful yellow center that matched a top you had recently made with Tilly.

You emerged from your tent tenderly holding the bud in the palm of your hand and see Arthur leaning against the ammo wagon smoking a cigarette. As he noticed you approach he dropped the tail end of his smoke to the dirt and smothered the ends with his boot. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth but never made it all the way across his mouth.

“Morning.” You stood next to him and admired the view out across the lake. Never an early riser, you enjoyed seeing what life looked like on the other side of your time frame.

“What’s that there?”

You giggled and held out the flower. “I’m sure you wouldn’t know, Arthur.”

He reached behind him and produced a small glass jar just big enough to hold your new treasure. “Here, I won’t be needing this anymore and I think this should just about fit. There. Fresh as, well, a daisy.”

A quick laugh escaped him as he handed you back the jar. He shook his head at his own joke and you rolled your eyes, but snuck in a quick kiss on his cheek before darting back to your tent with the glass.

Grimshaw found you before too long and dragged you off to do chores. She often made a move as if she would hit you for your ignorance, but was smart enough to spot the signs that you had grown up with a parent who had hit you for fun and not just discipline. It only happened once. You had flinched away from her so hard and nearly cowered against the wall she froze, making a mental note to never lay a hand on you again. Damn the man who tried to hurt her girls. In her mind she was the luckiest mother alive and would fight tooth and nail for those she loved at camp.

The usual suspects of Mary Beth and Tilly stood on either side of you while you cleaned the dishes for the week. Most of it was leftover bowls from the stew, but Sean had made some nasty meal that no one could figure out and took a lot longer to scrape from the plates.

“Wish I knew how to hunt.” Mary Beth dragged a cloth left and right across a plate to no avail as she spoke. “It would be nice to be able to provide something. I like robbing and helping find spots, but would be so great to be able to feel powerful. Holding a big gun, some rifle or the like.”

It was surprising to hear this from someone so soft, but it oddly made sense. “That’s why I like it. I can let you practice with my bow if you’d like sometime, Mary Beth. Takes a lot of work, though.”

She laughed, “No, that’s alright. I just like to wish about things. I’m so much more into books and writing, that’s my dream. To be a writer. Sit in a tall, covered chair in a clean office and write until I can’t think of any more words to say.”

You nodded along. “Well the offer still stands, but I do see you more of a writer than a hunter,” you laughed. “You’d be good, do you have any writing I could read? Been through most of my books already. I need something new.

“Oh! Maybe, it’ll need some harsh editing. Tilly’s real good and goes through my stuff before anyone else ever sees it. She’s a blessing.”

Tilly rolled her eyes at the compliment., “Your stuff don’t need much editing, Mary Beth. Maybe a few words added here and there but really, YN, she’s good.”

Tilly agreed to let you read the works only after she had finished editing and you were delighted. It was refreshing to not just discuss the latest job gone right or wrong and feel like you were just three women, living a normal and settled life.

Once the dishes were washed you left them to dry in the sun. Grimshaw allowed this task to be passed on to mother nature at least, and you followed Tilly back to a table to join Javier. For once he wasn’t plucking a guitar, but instead laying out dominoes in await of Tilly’s arrival.

“Ah, there she is! Ready to play, Ms. Jackson?”

Tilly nodded and took the seat opposite Javier, leaving you to take one of the backless boxes. The two of them were quick and played differently than Hosea did. Tilly let no emotion cross her face which was calculating and quick. Javier was trying hard to mimic her.

John walked over to stand and watch the game unfold.

“What’s that star on your chest, John? Does that say deputy?”

John moved to cover his chest with his arm but you lightly slapped his hand away so you could read it better. “It does say deputy! Now why in the hell are you wearing that? Dutch finally go off the deep end and get you working for the law?”

A small nod had the three of you balking up at the younger man. “Wait a minute, are you serious?” Javier asked incredulously.

“We went and helped the local law up in Rhodes. We blew up a moonshine operation for one of those feuding families and made it back with these damn stars. Dutch and Arthur both have them, too, but it means we can’t cause no trouble in town. Have to be on my best behavior. “

Tilly laughed but covered her mouth. “I’m sure that’s difficult for you all, Mr. Marston.”

John joined in the laughter and moved to get some stew. Javier spoke softly in Spanish and shook his head.

“Do you ever miss your home, Javier?” You knew he had fled Mexico at some point in his life but none of the details.

“Eh. My home is here now, with Dutch. Some days I do miss it more than others. It’s been awhile since I left Mexico, although I do miss the food. Handmade. A little spicy. Not this shit that’s been force fed down my throat for the past few months straight.”

Tilly threw a domino in his direction as Pearson was walking by, but Javier showed no fear at the larger man. He puffed out his chest making Tilly laugh again.

You rolled your eyes and decided to head off. “Anyone need to head to town?” They both shook their heads and you set off to find someone with a more adventurous mindset for the day. You were starting to get antsy with the same routine of waking up, doing chores, sitting by the fire, then going back to sleep. All that day Arthur had been doing something for Uncle so you still had unresolved feelings about your kiss the night before.

Lenny ended up being your knight in shining armor.

“YN! You ever learn how to fish?” The younger man called across the camp and waved you over.

“Sure I did! Won a few competitions back in Blackwater, too. You know that big salmon hanging up in the general store?” He nodded, eyes wide and watching you. “I’m the one who caught it!”

A beat passed before you realized he thought you were serious. “Oh, Lenny no. I was joking. Sure I know how to cast a line but making a fish appear on the other end is a skill I only semi possess.”

He laughed and clapped your shoulder, handing you his spare rod. “Hosea wants something other than beef stew tonight. I mean don’t we all. Let’s go see if we can catch us some fish, hmm?”

The small boat pushed off from the dock easy enough and floated out towards the middle of the lake. Camp got smaller and smaller, and you could feel yourself breathe easier knowing the air wasn’t so restricted around you.

Lenny hummed a tune you didn’t recognize after sitting in the boat awhile. Both of you were relaxing as you cast the line out onto the surface of the water, watching it slowly sink down.

“When did you learn how to fish, Mr. Summers?”

The younger man thought for a moment. “Hosea actually taught me not too long ago. I thought I was fine but he called me shit. Made me cast over one hundred times that day so I never forgot. I was about ready to toss him in the river but I will say, I have not forgotten how to do it.”

His smile was infectious. Lenny talked on about his fishing lessons and how Hosea used to get upset when Lenny talked down about himself.

“Hosea is funny that way. I’ve seen him more than once go off on Bill, rightly so, or Sean. He tends to stay true to his small group. You know, Arthur and Dutch and John. They’ve been through more shit than I care to ever see in my life.”

You nodded along to his story. Those men had a bond no one could chip away at, not even time itself.

After awhile, the pile of fish was large enough that Lenny wanted to head back. You had caught fewer than Lenny but still enough to feel productive, and knew Pearson and Hosea would be proud.

You reeled the string in but it wasn’t moving fast enough for your liking. The last few feet were taking too long so you leaned over to yank it in, tipping the boat slightly in your direction.

“Careful, YN. Don’t want you having to swim back to camp now.”

“Oh, I’m fine, just watch the -” The limit of your reach had been found as the boat finally tipped too far, launching you out over the wooden edge and headfirst into the water. The cold was a shock and water filled your ears and nose. You pumped your arms and floated to the surface, met by peals of laughter from Lenny in the boat.

“I told you! I told you, girl, you fell right in!”

“Really!” The situation was hilarious, you couldn't deny. But Lenny made no attempt at helping you up, mostly from laughing too hard. You glanced back towards camp and a few faces were watching you from a not too distant shore.

You swam the rest of the way back just to spite Lenny wrong. It felt good to stretch and move in the water, even if it did end up being much further than it looked. Your clothes would take all night to dry but you didn’t care. You took the opportunity to lightly scrub at your face as well, being fully submerged in water for the first time in weeks.

Lenny eventually met your soggy mess on shore and you punched him in the shoulder. Taking all the fish, you left him laughing away at the sorry sight you made.

Pearson stared as you slammed the fish down on the table in front of him. “Dinner!” You barked, “Is ready to be cooked. Do you need anything else, Mr. Pearson? Or can I please go get changed?”

The man blushed a bit but shooed you off. Grateful to be in your own space again, your wet clothes were disposed of quickly. Damn Lenny. Damn fish. Damn boat. What a day.

You emerged refreshed and feeling much better to find Arthur had returned for the day. He was speaking with Abigail but caught your eye over her shoulder, a wink meeting your grin as you approached. Abigail was deep in conversation so you let the two old friends finish up before watching Arthur approach you.

Neither of you had spoken since the night before, and the memory of that encounter made your cheeks flood with heat.

“YN, how was your day?”

“Wet,” you sighed. Arthur was silent for a moment until you met his gaze. “Lenny and I went fishing. I, well I fell in the lake. Soaked to the bone. Had to swim all the way back just to prove a point.”

He laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll say it again, YN. You’re something else.”

You motioned over to a quiet corner of the camp. “Let’s go chat, Arthur. About last night.”

A dark cloud passed over his face. His thoughts turned to rejection and you leaving, having another person let him down and break his heart. He thought after months or building something solid that he could have a real chance and not just another heartbreak to add to his growing collection. Arthur was a man who wasn’t afraid of pain, but-

His internal monologue quieted down when your hand slipped into his and led him to sit on the dock. A sweet smile was soft on your lips; like a ray of sunshine breaking through the darkness he had so quickly spiraled down.

“Arthur…” you hesitated. It was awkward to bring it up out of the blue, so you chickened out and changed the subject. “What were you up to today in town?”

He looked slightly caught off guard but answered anyways. “Dutch had some plan to uh, look into these families. Went to scout them out. Ain’t nothing special.” Arthur scratched the back of his neck, his hat tipping forward slightly as he kept his eyes on you.

“That’s...well, actually that sounds boring. You sat and watched people all day?”

Arthur’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at your response. “When you put it like that yes, it is mighty boring. I’m ‘spossed to do it all week and report to Dutch.”

“Every day?”

“Every day.”

You shook your head. “And I here thought chores around here were bad. Weren’t you warning me about the dangers of outlaw life? Robbing and killing and kidnapping? I spent my day washing dishes, Arthur Morgan. Washing dishes.”

He laughed more openly at you now, shoulders shaking lightly. “Why don’t you come with me, then? It’ll be more entertaining than sitting by myself for half the day wishing I could hang myself from the nearest tree.”

Finally the tension between you two had been broken and you decided to take your chance, heart fluttering ever so slightly.

“I would like that. I would like to spend more time with you, Arthur. You’re, ah, I mean I like, aw hell help me out here.” A bright red flush covered your cheeks and you no longer looked him in the eyes, instead using your hands to hide your face and the words you were trying to convey.

You wanted to be with Arthur. If only you could convey that coherently. One kiss had you flustered like a little school child.

It wasn’t a surprising realization that you had come to. It didn’t tumble over you in one single moment or sneak up like a thief in the night. It took time and developed like a blossom, small at first but constantly growing the more attention it received.

Tentatively you tilted your head to look at the silent man next to you. In all your conversations you had noticed Arthur never drew conclusions quickly and often wanted a moment to think. You granted him that as you admired the small stubble that had started to appear over the past few days.

After a few moments he responded. “I don’t think you want to be with someone like me, YN. I...I am not a good man. Done bad things and don’t live a life someone like you deserves. I can’t say I don’t want to, but...I’ve been down that road before and see how people change and what the price is for being around.”

Instinctively you reached out to grab his hand and wind your fingers through his. No one could see you as you sat on the dock, which suited you just fine.

“Arthur, I’ve known bad men. I was brought into this world by one. I can’t have been the first to tell you that you ain’t a bad man, look at who raised you and who is around you now. You think Dutch or Hosea are bad? Think their badness passed on to you like some disease? That’s not how life works, Arthur. I wouldn’t be here with you now if that’s the only choice we had.” You paused for a moment, then rushed headfirst into the reason you wanted to talk in the first place. “And although it is hard for me to say, apparently, I do want to be with you, Arthur Morgan. I think you’re much more than the version of yourself that you’ve locked up inside that head of yours.”

He squeezed your hand and smiled out at the horizon. “Guess you made your mind up, then.”

“Guess I did. Do you…want...?”

“Yes, I do,” he confessed, surprised at how fast the reply came out of his mouth. “Darlin’, I want that more than anything.”

Arthur tipped your chin up as his lips pressed softly against yours. Your free hand grabbed his shoulder and bunched the worn leather as he deeped things and shifted one hand to the small of your back. A fish jumping nearby brought you back and you pulled back gently, looking up into those blue green eyes that now belonged to your man.

“I hate to ask this, but folks around camp tend to gossip. Do you mind if we keep this to ourselves just for now? Not to hide it!” Arthur reacted to the look on your face. “Just...I don’t want to rush anything and they tend to do that.”

“I understand, Arthur. I won’t tell anyone.” His mind at rest he helped you up from your seats on the dock and you walked hand in hand back to camp, until Kieran rounded a corner and you dropped hands, hoping he didn’t notice a thing.

That night at camp Dutch wanted to break open one of the moonshine bottles he and John had procured from their attempts at being lawmen. The plan was to try and sell the rest back to those they had stolen from, but everyone figured they wouldn't miss one jug. The clear liquid smelled so strongly that only one glass made it halfway around the circle before needing to be refilled. And that was nothing to say of how potent the alcohol was.

Down in the southern United States, liquor was made different. Sure you were Blackwater, born and raised, but this really took the cake. If you could muscle through the smell you would be knocked flat on your back in about three sips.

Karen managed to finish half a glass by herself while Mary Beth and Tilly just watched, helping her once it turned and she began to throw up not too long after. Javier and Sean danced around the fire speaking a strange mix of Spanish and Irish that somehow they both understood. Bill grumbled and fell asleep sitting up. Charles opted out, heading off with Lenny for guard duty. Dutch and Hosea each had a small sip but soon went to bed. Mrs. Grimshaw was watching Jack while Abigail and John sat and enjoyed the festivities, having a small sip each.

Sean was soon impersonating John’s drunk stumble and had the group in stitches. He had stumbled around himself enough to know how it went, but after one particularly large wipeout passed out and had to be carried off to bed by Arthur.

“YN!” Abigail called you over to sit with her and watch. You had a few sips and had to watch your feet as you plopped down across from her.

“How ya doing, girl?”

She raised her eyebrows in amusement at you. “Forgot you don’t hold your drink too well. Too many evenings in Blackwater I ended up half carrying you back home.”

“I am fine! Just nice to be out in the cool air. It hot out to you?” You struggled to stay atop your seat as you giggled at her. “Want to hear a secret? Can’t tell no one, though.”

Abigail’s interest was peaked. “What you hiding there, YN?”

You leaned in close to her face and whispered, “Me and Arthur, it happened. I kissed him, and we spoke today about being together. It’s happening, Abigail.”

“You did not! YN!” A girlish squeal burst from her and you tried to quiet her down but with no luck.

“Abigail! We want to move slow so we ain’t telling anyone, keep your voice down. You can’t even tell John yet.”

A voice at the table started you, causing you to nearly fall over. “Gonna be hard to not tell me when I’ve been here the whole time, YN. Damn, that moonshine really did a number on you.”

A flush filled your cheeks and you froze. “But I won’t say anything, except to Abigail who owes me. Pay up, woman, that was in my time frame.”

Your jaw drops as you realize they had a bet going.

“You two!” They laughed as you stood to go. “Think it’s time for me to head to bed.”

Arthur intercepted you while you were on your way to your tent. “Jeez, YN, Marston said you had a few nips of that moonshine and to make sure you were okay.”

You grabbed his arm to stabilize yourself, and admire the muscles that were formed just beneath his jacket. He chuckled when he saw what you were doing and, after checking the two of you were alone, pulled you closer to him.

“It’s a chilly night, Arthur. Hope you’re okay in that big tent all alone.”

He laughed again but kissed you on the forehead, murmuring something while his lips were pressed against your skin you couldn’t understand. He smelled like mint and tobacco leaves again, and the scent lingered as you crawled into your cot to fall asleep, worn from the day.

A few days later you headed off with Arthur to observe the Greys and the Braithwaites. Dutch wanted to wait after the first time just to avoid suspicion and not ruin the perfect picture he painted of the gang while working with the law in town.

Arthur was right. It was boring.

You counted the wagons that rolled by, you counted how many people greeted you, Arthur even began to describe the birds he had seen. It was a long few hours in the morning.

Around lunch is when things got exciting.

Uncle road up to your hiding spot, hollering about for Arthur. Eclipse had just munched down an apple he had given her as a treat, rubbing her nose and speaking to her in hushed, soft tones. Arthur had a particular way with horses, and they trusted him. Zeus let no one else even get close unless Arthur was nearby.

“Arthur! Oh Arthur, you hidin’ up in these hills? I got a job and I need your help!”��

Arthur grumbled and threw the apple core to the ground and wiped his hands on his jeans. “What you telling about, old man?”

“Howdy, YN. Am I interrupting something here?”

You shook your head as Arthur’s hackles went up, and laughed to cut the tension. “You have something for me too, Uncle? Or do I just have to head back to camp now that you’ve showed up and taken my source of entertainment away?”

Uncle’s eyebrows shot up, but answered honestly. “Nah, Miss Moore, it’s a real job. I would ask you along, but we never rode together, no offense. I need Arthur to help me rob a stagecoach.” He stood proudly with his hands on his suspenders, chest puffed out.

“Robbing coaches? What you need me for? Take Lenny.”

“No!” Uncle started following Arthur as he began picking up your makeshift day camp. “I ain’t taking the kid out. Lenny’s great, but come on, Arthur! You know me, it’s a good tip! I swear.”

Arthur rolled his shoulders as he responded. “Only good thing about this is I get a chance to leave you with the law. What’s this wagon carrying, anyways?”

Now that he had his attention, Uncle knew how to reel him in. “It’s a stagecoach coming into town that is completely unguarded for a stretch carrying payroll or something. Lots of cash, it’ll be easy with you, me, Charles, and Bill. Three strapping men can do it no problem.”

“So why you going then?”

“Arthur!” You threw an apple at him lightly, and he ducked while laughing. Uncle watched the scene with a faint smile on his face that once Arthur caught sight of brought him to a halt.

“Uncle, sounds like a good tip to me. You sure I can’t tag along? Learn how it’s done?”

Arthur and Uncle both shook their heads. “Nah, YN. You head back to camp, ain’t too far. I’ll ride out with this lunk now and see you in a few hours. Shouldn’t be gone more than that.”

Uncle excitedly mounted his horse and started off, leaving Arthur to give you a hurried kiss and head off quickly after him. You sighed and cleaned up the camp, attaching everything in a rucksack to the back of Eclipse. She bumped your hand with her nose as you gave her an oatcake and mounted up. Out of curiosity you sampled the small cake, but spit it out. How in the hell was that a good snack for a horse? It tasted like bland oatmeal.

Arriving back at camp alone raised some eyebrows, but most everyone knew Arthur was off riding with Charles, Uncle, and Bill.

“Hey, Mary Beth! How were things today?”

The brunette groaned and rolled her eyes. “How do I hate Ms. Grimshaw? Let me count thee ways.”

You giggled, “So that bad, huh?” She looped her arm through yours and walked you over to the main fire where people had gathered.

“We washed clothes all, day, long. My fingers are bare down to the bone, and look at these fingernails!” She fake fawned into your lap and held her hands out dramatically. “How was your day out with Arthur?”

“Fine, we mostly just...stared at the people going by. It was not as exciting as I thought it would be. I think I counted seven carriages that went by, most just farm supplies or food. I started with the leaves but Arthur was about ready to turn to murder.”

You chatted by the fire for a few hours, relaxing with folks and comparing books with Mary Beth. She finally released her grip on some pages she had written and you set them tenderly on you bedside for later. Tilly promised they were incredible and you couldn’t wait to gush with them about it.

John came into camp and sat down at the fire as well. “YN. You know what’s taking those boys so long?”

The time had slipped away so easily, you hadn’t even noticed that it had been hours beyond when Uncle promised to bring them home.

“Who were they robbing, John? Should we be worried?”

He scratched his chin, thinking. “Uncle mentioned Leviticus Cornwall.”

Behind him, Dutch approached and swore. “Cornwall? Dammit, Uncle. John, would you ride out and see if they need any assistance? We need to keep our appearance up as good, law abiding citizens and it’s hard to do that if we keep robbing the same damn man!”

An idea struck you and you followed John through the dark over to the horses. “John. John! Wait up.”

He turned to look at you over his shoulder. “Want me to tell something to Arthur, YN?”

“Nothing I can’t tell him myself,” you swung up onto Eclipse and clicked your tongue before he could rightly react. “I’m coming with you. Now, let’s go find our boys!” And the two of you took off before anyone noticed John took an extra rider.

#the price to be paid #price to be paid #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #red dead redemption 2 #reader fanfic #fanfic #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #writing

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kristarantsandmuses · 4 years

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Quaranthings: Korean Dramas

It’s been a while, Tumblr. LOL I haven’t posted in a while – but we are living in a time of pandemic. I have never thought such day would come but here we are.

It has been 41 days since Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) was implemented in Manila – and I have managed to catch up on my Korean drama backlog.

Thanks to streaming sites like Viu and Netflix, I have spent countless hours just catching up on the latest dramas (The King: Eternal Monarch, Itaewon Class) and the ones I have not finished watching (Mr. Sunshine, Reply 1997, Go Back Couple, Kill Me, Heal Me, My Love from the Stars). I also found time to rewatch my favorites (Secret Garden, Innocent Man).

The last one I watched was Mr. Sunshine. The writer, Kim Eun Sook, tells the story of a Joseon slave-turned-American soldier named Eugene Choi and a noble named Go Ae Sin – and the people around them: the mysterious samurai Go Dong Mae; the rich playboy Kim Hee Seong; and the beautiful, rich heiress/double agent named Hina Kudo. Set in the early years of the Korean Empire (led by Emperor Gojong), the drama depicted the political turbulence of the time: the traditional Joseon ways clashing with that of imperialists as well as the personal struggles of each character. Then there’s storge, eros, philia, and agape - I’ll probably write another review of that because in terms of writing, I think this is the best Kim Eun Sook drama.

I have been meaning to write something like this, but I guess I was inspired to share with the world why I love Korean dramas – like it really is a hill I would die on anytime.

Some weeks ago, a Filipino director openly tweeted his disdain for Korean dramas. In his words, he said that Filipino movies and tv are “doomed” because of “K-drama galore: faux Cinderella stories with belofied whiter than white actors. And it’s all about love in the midst of pandemic.”

��LMFAO. I had to laugh.

It came from a director with reputable filmography – I mean I loved two (2) of his films for their social commentary but I have to ask.

How many Korean dramas have you watched – LOL don’t tell me you only watched Crash Landing on You.

HELLO, ITAEWON CLASS WAS IN THE TOP 10. DID YOU WATCH THAT? Did you watch the rags-to-riches story of Park Saeroyi and his quest for justice to defeat the biggest food company, Janga Corporation?

Have you watched Sky Castle? The compelling story of rich families and their schemes to get their children into the best universities?

How about the Reply series? A nostalgic drama that tells the story of families, youth, and the times they lived in – 1994, 1997, 1988 – the nostalgia was fucking rich. I especially enjoyed 1994 and 1997.

Did you check out Another Oh Hae Young: a woman struggling to come into terms with her personal insecurities? Or have you picked up on It’s Okay, That’s Love: a romantic drama that properly tackled mental illness (the lead had schizophrenia).

From personal experience and the vast filmography of Korean dramas I have seen, let me point out why Korean dramas are the best – and why they’re so fucking addicting. I would have to say that this is not a research paper but rather a lengthy analysis based on my 12-year experience as a Korean drama enthusiast.

1. Creative value

Every drama starts with a great plot.

Sure, many Korean dramas are romantic. In fact, most of the Korean dramas I have seen in the early 2000s are romantic: Autumn in my Heart; Stairway to Heaven; Winter Sonata; Full House; My Name is Kim Sam Soon; and Princess Hours. There’s also Memories of Bali; I’m Sorry I Love You; and Coffee Prince. These dramas actually launched the Hallyu (Korean wave) that we know today – and their plots have the typical Korean drama romantic equation: guy meets girl – they don’t get along at first – then they fall in love – misunderstandings (or separation) ensues – reunited – fall in love again – they get married or end up together (or a lead dies). Then there are the non-romantic ones (historical): Jewel in the Palace and Jumong.

But as time went on, you see that the genres become varied – we started seeing action dramas (one of my favorites was Time Between Dog and Wolf) and medical dramas. Then there were dramas that also featured how Korean dramas were made (The World We Live In).

Korean dramas have varying plots that get recycled in many instances but with great plots also come characterization. The characters we see in dramas remind us of real people – we always relate to a character and we all get frustrated when they make stupid decisions (the Noble Idiot Syndrome) that really do not make sense. At the end of the day, we want happy endings for those who deserve happiness – we want justice served, we want closures, etc. because that’s how humans are.

In many romantic dramas, plots are reused but no character is the same. They would have similar traumas but never the same, carbon-copied character. There are villains you want to kill and then there are villains you sympathize with – because you realize that humans are multilayered, complicated creatures.

2. Production value

Another observation I have with Korean dramas is their careful attention to details. When writers create the script, they somewhat have actors in mind to play the character. In Korean dramas, they don’t really care about love teams. In the Philippines, we produce dramas based on the hottest pairs. In Korea, they don’t give a shit about that. Dramas are produced with the intention of creating a meaningful production so actors are chosen based on whether the writers and producers think they can bring their characters to life, not because they are the hottest commodity. In some dramas, actors have to audition, but in many instances, scripts are sent to actors with potential to perfectly portray the character.

Prior to filming, writers, actors, and production staff would spend a day or two in story conferences – actors would have the opportunity to discuss with everyone how he or she thinks his/her character is like. The directors and writers would provide their input on how the characters should talk, act, etc. Actors would also take the extra mile to learn a skill or two for the characters they played. They would have dialect coaches, language instructors, etc. Writers would consult with professionals – for instance, in many medical or legal dramas, they would hire doctors or lawyers on board to verify accuracy of terms. During broadcast, you would even see the jargon on screen to simplify them for the audience. In historical dramas, you would also see the terms used (in Chinese characters) and explain them in hangul.

During filming, you’d see how the staff has placed much attention on details – from the wardrobe to the set. You would also see themes, symbols, etc. The production aspect is really like how movies are: vivid, deliberate, beautiful. Who would’ve thought red pinwheels would make me tear up?

Each drama has a particular soundtrack – can I just say that Korean dramas have the best soundtrack. Each song played in a specific scene perfectly conveys the mood and feelings of the character. I have cried so many times listening to Park Hyo Shin’s “Snow Flower” (I’m Sorry I Love You) or Ji Sun’s ”Goodbye Without Saying Goodbye) (My Name is Kim Sam Soon). On my Spotify account you would see I have played Goblin, DOTS, and CLOY OSTs countless times.

In the past, dramas are not really pre-produced (meaning script came a week or two before filming). There are dramas wherein halfway through the broadcast, they had to switch writers because the earlier writer had a falling out with the production – so you’d see that the quality suffers (story plots would go crazy lol). There are dramas wherein they had to replace the actors because of scandals or accidents. In the last 5 years however, Korean dramas have become pre-produced: meaning the dramas will be filmed 6 months-2 years before being broadcasted. I guess this aspect has contributed to the fact that many Korean dramas are already available on streaming sites.

3. Cultural value

Each drama gives us a slice of the Korean culture – food, drink, skincare, attraction, and history. And noraebang (karaoke). Every romcom Korean drama has to have a scene at the noraebang...or jimjilbang (sauna).

Modern and traditional Korean dramas have to feature food: Korean barbecue, stew, side dishes. LOL you name it. There’s also soju, beer, and makgeoli. BEER AND CHICKEN.

In most modern Korean dramas, makeovers are a must. You would see product placements of known Korean products: Laneige, Etude House, Nature Republic, etc. The characters would go shopping in a particular shop like The North Face. Their coffee dates would be in one of these (Caffe Bene, Dal.Komm, HOLLYS, Zoo Café, Mango Six). They would buy their cakes or bread from Paris Baguette or Tous Les Jours.

Then there are road trips – many Korean dramas would feature a particular attraction, province, or city. Who can forget Nami Island (thanks Winter Sonata) or Namsan Seoul Tower (Boys Over Flower) or Petite France (Secret Garden, My Love from the Stars)? Of course, you can’t forget Busan (Reply 1997) or Jeju (Warm and Cozy) or Gangwon-do. It is definitely a K-drama fangirl’s dream to be able to visit in one of these places so we can relive our favorite Korean drama moments.

All of Korean dramas I have seen put emphasis on family – the importance of filial piety is always highlighted. The characters are often portrayed as dutiful daughters or sons. Conflicts often ensue when the character is challenged to choose between the parents or the love of his/her life (well in most Korean dramas that’s the case lol). Many dramas portray characters who try to be the good daughter-in-law and yet nothing is ever good enough. Then there are subtle flexes on Korea as an emerging superpower as seen by drama characters (chaebols) who head conglomerates. There is always a character who is filthy rich and can afford a billionaire lifestyle. Product placements include big companies like Samsung, Hyundai, etc.

Slice-of-life dramas also depict the realities in Korean society. Because This is My First Life and Something in the Rain aptly depicted the realities of harassment in the workplace from a woman’s experience. Many Korean dramas also relay harsh realities: meritocracy in the workplace; young adults juggling multiple jobs to make ends meet, etc.; even real estate situations are featured. Often you would find characters renting a small room because that’s all they can afford. From the dramas you would also notice that Koreans are not very kind towards single mothers or orphans. Then of course, there’s the North and South Korea situation: Crash Landing on You, Doctor Stranger, Spy Myeong-Wol, Descendants of the Sun are a few dramas that discussed this theme. The Reply series is a nostalgia drama featuring families that lived through some of important events in South Korea like the Seoul Olympics (1988), Asian financial crisis (1997), Sampoong Department Store collapse (1995), and the historic World Cup (2002).

Korean historical dramas are also interesting on their own – I guess until now, the Japanese occupation of Korea is still a sensitive matter for Koreans. Many of the dramas that feature such themes always depict the resilience and resolve of Koreans as they try to fight off the enemy. Yes, the scenes are depicted artistically, and the thought lingers long after the episode is over.

In terms of marketing, the government has also been proactive. With the Korean Wave (Hallyu), Korean dramas, as well as films, music, food, etc. have become an important commodity overseas. In 2016, Korean Culture Center wrote that Descendants of the Sun was sold to 27 countries, posting a profit of over KRW 10 billion (Php 412 million). The government acknowledges the important contribution of Korean dramas in tourism. Numerous papers have already been published showing the effect of hallyu in the South Korea tourism industry.

To make the long story short:

Korean dramas have gone beyond “faux Cinderella stories with belofied whiter than white actors”. I mean, if you want to produce a quality drama, it takes time and effort. Personally it has become a great escape from the realities I face. I do not welcome opinions that clearly spring out of snobbery and disdain for another person’s craft. Perhaps the director can look beyond the Top 10 (since that’s what he mentioned) and check out the wide selection on Netflix. Viu is also a great platform (I’ll start on World of the Married – been hearing and reading about it lol)

Hallyu did not flourish overnight, and the Korean drama industry – while a great model to cite – is also not perfect. There have been numerous cases and instances when staff are overworked or not paid long after the production is over. The #MeToo movement has also exposed some actors who have harassed fellow actors. If we want Filipino dramas to enjoy the same spotlight as that of the Korean dramas, we should be frank about the outputs we have had. We have potential, but it really is up to the decision-makers (at least from the network perspective since it’s all about profits and star value rather than quality production in the Philippines) to come up with a formula that would revitalize Filipino dramas. I can’t say the same for Filipino films because we have great films – the dramas need much work to be profitable. I mean, are we really satisfied with a few dramas being sold overseas? When will we produce dramas that are at par with our Korean chingus? If you want Filipino dramas to be streamed on Netflix or Hulu or Apple TV – maybe we can look at genres beyond police brutality or infidelity or hacienderos harboring a secret child somewhere.

Anyway, Korean dramas are awesome – and that’s the tea.

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dwaynepride · 5 years

Text

Already A World Away; pt 1

Summary: After an emotional and intense night at the bar, Pride and the reader must deal with the aftermath of a hasty decision.

Words: 2,047

Warnings: None

Tags: @pageofultron @stanathanxoox @starryrevelations @6adb0y @thegoodlonelydalek @consultingdoctorwholock @thebeckyjolene @diaryofafan17 @specialagentlokitty

Notes: a continuation of Stay With Me by @specialagentmonkey. i HIGHLY recommend you read that one first, for some important context. this fic isn’t really a stand-alone fic, it’s a continuation. you might be able to piece together what happened anyway but??? monkey’s fic is so good anyway so just fuckin read it

Part 2 | Part 3

Dwayne’s dreams were merely replaying the events at the bar, last night. In his sleep, he’s touching your hand, feeling the warmth of your skin despite the chill of rain threatening to chase it away. And it hadn’t, because it’s still soft and warm and urges him to feel more of it. Your eyes are on him solely, yet his dreams can’t replicate the exact look you had. The way the low lights glittered off your eyes, looking like stars.

And his dreams surely can’t perfectly recreate that first kiss; searing and intense, his hands cupping your cheeks and trying to put as much of himself into it as he can. There is a small detail his subconscious leaves out, though. That little noise you made in the back of your throat - the noise that fueled Dwayne’s fire and deepened the kiss. But he’s glad he remembers it. Glad it’s seared into his memory because it was one of the best sounds he’s ever heard.

Either way, the dream-kiss is enough to wake him up, dragging him away from the pleasant memory into the faintly-lit reality of his bedroom. Dwayne inhales immediately, air filling his lungs and exhaling to try and slow the quick beating of his heart.

It was a damn realistic dream. Pride rubs his hand over his face to try and clear his head of the images because that’s all it was; a dream, no matter how good it was or how much he wanted it to be real.

And it wasn’t real. You coming into his bar, soaking wet and crying. His offer to stay at the office with him for a little while. The kissing. It had to be a very realistic, very cruel scenario that his brain cooked up for him during the night. Dwayne huffs at the thought, sitting up in bed and blinking around his dawn-lit bedroom. There was no way you were here, in his room, sleeping...

Dwayne is surprised at how quickly he recognizes your shoes in the corner of the room. Your coat, which was soaking wet last night, is thrown over a chair to air dry.

He hears a loud, sleepy sigh from the other side of the wall. His blood goes cold, swallowing as he pulls the covers away to stand and silently make his way around the shelves. Dwayne’s bare feet make little noise against the old wood floor; he’s able to sneak up and squint through the low-light to see your curled up, sleeping form in the old pull-out bed he keeps stashed away for when Laurel comes to visit. You have an old quilt pulled up to your chin, hair adorably messy from sleep.

Dwayne swallows down his shock, stepping away back toward his own bed. It wasn’t a dream. You were really here, using his bedroom as shelter until you find a new little place for your own. And how long will that take? It’s not exactly easy to find a good home in New Orleans; everything was too expensive or too far away from the office or not in the best neighborhood.

The place you had with your ex was perfect...

With a huff, Dwayne shakes his head and quietly walks out of his bedroom, descending the cold stairs to start with breakfast. You had a long night, and you’ll be hungry.

Though, try as he might to distract himself with making grits, Dwayne couldn’t pull himself away from the fact that you were sleeping soundly right above his head. And now that the shock of reality had dwindled away, it was being replaced with the harsh feeling of doubt at the whole situation that he created on a whim, because he was kissing you and it felt right.

Was it really a good idea to let you stay here for potentially weeks? Would Dwayne lose control of his feelings, like he did last night? Initiate another kiss before you were ready - preying on your vulnerability?

No. No, he wouldn’t. Because right now, you needed to be around friends, and that’s what he is. As much as it hurt to think it, Dwayne was still your friend, and one poorly-timed make-out session in his bar in the middle of the night doesn’t change that.

Maybe in time, after you find a new place and you’re moved on, things can continue. A sweeter kiss after a perfect little dinner date and Dwayne wouldn’t have to try to cheer you up because you’d been walking in the rain. It’d be better than anything that ex-boyfriend of yours could stew up, that’s for sure.

But for now, Dwayne forces his attention into cooking.

When your eyes finally blinked open, blurry with sleep, things didn’t look familiar at all. The wallpaper of your bedroom being replaced with brick walls and chipped paint and old boxes. For a slight moment, the unfamiliarity of the room startles you, and your head pops off the pillow to the look around.

The old springs of the pull-out bed creak loudly under your shifting weight. Pale sunlight is creeping in from the window on the other side of the room; a nice change from how unpleasant the sunshine beamed in through the window at your place. And after a couple moments, you recognize the room and instantly feel a lot safer.

There was a certain calmness to waking up in Pride’s bedroom.

You sit up, ignoring the creaks of the springs. The room was silent; Pride must be up already. He was a heavy-snorer, you’ve learned. And there was no snores to be heard.

And you smirk at the thought; it took a little longer to fall asleep because of the noise, but it wasn’t all around unpleasant. It was nice, knowing he was just on the other side of the wall. A mere ten feet away, if you needed him.

Though, the smirk fell once you remembered the events leading up to sleeping in Pride’s bedroom. The kissing and touching and the intense feelings they brought. You look down and inspect the hoodie he lent you when your clothes were too soaked to wear, and a rush of heat suddenly makes it too warm to wear. God, you kissed him last night. Kissed him a lot. You could still remember the heat of his skin on your fingertips. How good he smelled and how right it felt to have him so close, standing between your knees, and it only worsened the blush.

What the hell were you going to say to him?

Well, you had until you went downstairs to figure it out, because the last thing you wanted was for him to come back up here and fetch you for breakfast. So you throw the blankets aside and stand, making for the door. Pointedly ignoring Pride’s unmade bed and his shoes laying in the corner next to yours.

You can hear him cooking even from the stairs. The clattering of pots and pants. The smell of biscuits and grits and sausage in the air, and your belly rumbles despite the ball of anxiety making you sick. You’re halfway down the stairs before remembering you’re supposed to be thinking of a way to start the awkward conversation. By the time you cross the archway, you’ve only come up with a ‘The bed was really comfortable.’

Pride looks up when you enter, and he offers a big smile. “Good mornin’!” He greets, head motioning to the table. “Breakfast’ll be done soon.”

He goes back to his cooking, leaving you to numbly pad over to the table. It was confusing, how normal he was acting. As if you’re just the first one on the team who came into work so your breakfast will be the hottest. You sit and look up at him, wondering why. After last night, after the passion he exhibited in his kisses, you kinda found it hard to believe he wasn’t fazed.

Pride might’ve been able to keep up the outward impression that everything was business as usual, but it was hard for him to keep his eyes on the food. It was hard to ignore that little jolt in his gut when you walked in, still wearing his hoodie and shorts and looking adorably wide-eyed, as if expecting a scolding.

But he keeps his conflicting feelings buried, for now. Concentrates on not letting the grits burn.

“Do you need help?”

His eyes dart upwards, seeing you lean forward in your chair, eyeing the breakfast. Pride shakes his head. “Nah, it’s almost done,” he answers lightly.

You’re quiet for a moment before speaking up again, “I can make some coffee?”

Pride blinks, pulling the grits off the heat with another slower shake of his head. “We’re out. I called Christopher and asked him to pick some up on the way over.”

He hears your soft sigh and the slight creak of the wooden chair when you shift your weight in it. “Alright, well, I can wash the dishes after breakfast, okay? All of them.”

This time, Pride’s reaction is much more visible on his face. When he straightens up and fixes his knitted-brow look at you, that’s when your gaze finally drops away from his. “I just wanna help out, okay? If I’m gonna be staying here until I find a new place, I don’t want to be a burden. I can help out with dishes or...whatever...”

The way your voice drops off at the end doesn’t help lift the weight from Pride’s heart at your proposal. “You don’t gotta earn your keep, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Pride responds, pouring some grits into a bowl with care. Puts a buttered biscuit on top before continuing. “You’ve been through enough.”

“But I’d feel bad if I just did nothing. I want you to know I’m grateful.”

He swallows, lips forming a tight line as Pride picks up the bowl and carries it over to the table. And as he sets it down, you’re still not looking at him; he sees a hint of pink in your cheeks, and wonders if he’s blushing, as well. But he sits down, anyway. Head lowering to catch your gaze and a hand resting on your arm. “Look at me,” Pride says, and you do. “We’re friends, and friends are there for each other. I’m happy to help.”

His words hang between the two of you for a few awkward moments. It was odd, saying out loud that you were friends. Obviously, you were; Pride had become one of your closest friends, and that’s a part of what drove you to him last night. But on the other hand, friends don’t make out in the middle of the night in an empty bar. When they do, they don’t normally stay friends.

But, on surface level, his words make sense. So you nod your head and turn into the table, picking the spoon and scooping up some of Pride’s delicious grits. The action seems to please him; he pats your arm and stands up to continue breakfast. The rest of the team outta be here soon.

He’s not sure how he’ll explain the situation to them. It was personal to you. Maybe a little humiliating, even though Pride is certain the team would be sympathetic. He’ll just make it clear that it’s a very temporary thing. Just until you find another place. Chris will definitely offer to help. So will the others.

And deep down, Pride is sure that it’s the best course of action. You’ll get back on your feet, bounce back from that asshole who tried to make you choose between him and your job. And maybe, after all that, you can pick up where you left off at the bar. He’s already missing the feel of your lips against his. He hopes you feel the same.

But if Pride’s being honest with himself, he’s not looking forward to the day when you find a new home for yourself, and he’ll have to pack away the old pull-out mattress again. Lay in bed and think about you and tuck the bar memory away, deep in his mind, in case it never happened again.

Dwayne already likes the idea of having you around all the time.

#ncis new orleans imagine #ncis nola imagine #ncis new orleans reader insert #dwayne pride x reader #dwayne pride imagine

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ikonislife · 5 years

Text

Complicated.

-Yunhyeong x female reader

-friends to lovers? mentioned of sex, slightly nsfw

“You know, I’ve never really understood your no one-night-stand policy.” The spoon full of soup you had just inhaled through the wrong pipe spoke to the incredulous, not to mention shocking nature of the question that had just left your best friend’s lips.

“What’s so hard to understand about it?” Nearly coughing your lungs out, you finally found enough strength to gasp out a few words, no thanks to Yunhyeong’s aggressive patting on your back.

“Well, what if you’re like unbearably frustrated, then what?” The wide doe eyes, the seemingly innocent tone of his words made you questioned his very existent. How could someone, who had just asked for the reason why you weren’t opening up your legs at every opportunity, be so innocent that the thought of masturbation evaded his mind. Unless, he was chasing a very specific answer... That thought popped up in your mind for the single split second and so did hope. But this was Yunhyeong you were dealing with, he probably meant nothing by his words.

“Well how did you get rid of all your boners when you were a mere socially awkward teenage boy, and not this “charming prince” I’ve heard so much about.” Disgust slowly engulfing your face, earning you few more harsh pat, though you suspected these weren’t to help the small coughs still falling from your bruised lungs. “Well, beside having those nasty wet dreams about me, of course.”

“I did not have nasty wet dreams about you, get off your high horse.” The high pitch scoff falling from his lips and those wary glances, the exact opposite of the words being spoken. And that strange chuckle, the way he was trying to move past the fact that he had unashamedly stared at you that one summer when when the heaven decided to blessed you with clear skin and slightly more curves than the plank of a body your 14 years old self had... All of it raised even more questions in your heart than his strange question. Though you said nothing, playing along just to see where this conversation would lead your friendship to.

“Not according to Jinhwan that one summer at camp!”

“I hate that dipshit...Bet you didn’t even have to force it out of him” Yunhyeong muttered darkly, seemingly cursing his best friend to the depth of hell in his mind.

“You know it! That boy is weak for me, don’t know why you’re still telling him secrets.” Your sudden reminder of just how big of a crush Jinhwan had on you in high school and college somehow stealing all the colors off of Yunhyeong’s skin. A nervous chuckle ripped from his lips as his gaze began dancing about the room. You caught on, far sooner than the cough he heaved to rid himself of whatever that was that had possessed him during those few seconds. Again, you won’t utter a word until you were completely sure what he was playing at.

“Well, you still didn’t answer my question.”

“Why are you all TMI with me all of the sudden. Why are you all of the sudden curious about my kitty?” You’ve learn your lesson, his shenanigans won’t be having you snorting soup twice in the same hour. Pushing your bowl away, let you tempted to sip another spoon, you turned the question back on him, wholeheartedly curious just of what he was fishing for. But it was slowly becoming clear that perhaps your dear best friend might have a problem he somehow concluded only you can fix.

“When are we not TMI... And please, don’t refer to it as kitty again. I call my pet cat that and I don’t wanna be thinking of your...”

“My... litty kitty? vagina? pussy?” You jest, taking a moment to finish your food before the stammering man could say anything else to put you off of your meal.

“Are you on crack?!” It was his turn to spray your entire dining table with the monstrosity he called a bite. The look on his face, you wouldn’t say he was mortified nor disgusted but rather regrets of heading down a path in which he himself know not the destination. So he definitely had no idea himself where or if you would’ve entertained this conversation, good to know.

“No, you asked about my coital business, putting the p in my v, I’m just giving the audience what they want!”

“No, I changed my mind, let’s go back to kitty.” Dutifully cleaning after himself, Yunhyeong mused as he wiped up your dining table.

“Oh, come on. If you want to talk about my vagina and its business, at least have a the ball to call it what it is! It’s not that easily offended, you know.” Sighing, you loan a hand in cleaning up only for the man to swat it away, citing he could clean a few dishes himself. Honestly, if he wasn’t so dense to your feelings, you might just marry him one day. When was the last time you met someone like Yunhyeong, you weren’t too sure. One thing you were sure of was that none of your useless exes were even a corner of the man Song Yunhyeong was. He’s charming and it was honestly quite endearing the way he hadn’t realized himself just how much damage he could do to a girl’s heart. Wasn’t till you had let on just how big of a crush your cheerleader best friend had on him that he finally began to explore this new side of himself. The man is handsome, there was no arguing there but he was so much more than that. Beautiful soul, and wonderful personality to match the attractiveness of his smile, and alluring voice. He was always just your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. You hadn’t really seen him as anything else but as time changed, heart grown, and people matured, there was always something more in the hugs he had given you despite them being the same as the one you hated with all your guts at 6 years old. Then came college and their little duo of Yunhyeong and Jinhwan suddenly expanded into 7 crackheads going through life together, wrecking hearts and intimate parts, building quite a reputation for themselves. The parties came and gone, same too were the girls and the restless late nights, all that remained in his life was their unbreakable friendships... And you. You’ve always looked at him the same way you had but now that your heart was capable of feeling love and pussy capable of telling a dickhead from a true man... One second he was just Yoyo and the next, you were so far gone, you hadn’t even a single course of action for this feeling festering. So you did what you do best, let it simmered and stewed in your heart, not a single word to the man you still called best friend despite wanting so much more.

“Fine, call your vagina whatever you want... just not kitty... Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just, whenever you say it, I just imagine you have a vicious lioness in between your legs that’s gonna bite my dick off if I’m mean to you or something.” He muttered darkly and for whatever reason, you were given the impression that Song Yunhyeong actually believed you have a real lion in between your legs, sharp teeth, pointy claws and all.

“Excuse me, but my pussy is a proud lioness and I will viciously attack you in her honor if you dare offend her.” You weren’t joking and he knew full well, wincing as he shut off the water, muttering something under his breath that sounding awful lot like “girls are so scary”, before joining you on the couch. “Plus, what kind of porn you boys be watching these days anyways. now I’m just imagining a porn actress with a CGI lion instead of a vagina.”

“Can’t speak for the other boys but, I definitely have not and will not want to see anything like that. Nightmares.” You couldn’t help but cowered when Yunhyeong let his arm wrapping around your shoulders. Though you knew he was just pushing and tugging at you to make himself a comfortable spot to lay down, it seemed all the more damning to your soul with the conversation at hand. “Anyways, you haven’t answer my question.”

“What else do you want to know? I just use my hands, toys, and whatever else that get the job done!”

“Toys, huh? So, just not a real dick?” He deadpanned and honestly, how was this man was the same person once refused with all his life to swim in the same pool as you, simply because you had graduated from frumpy one piece to wearing bikini.

“Are you offering?”

“Maybe if you start being nice to me!” A wink teasing a blush onto your cheeks, you worked quick to shove him off before he could catch on to your erratic heart.

“Never mind, being nice to you is no fun.” You slapped his chest but feeling the steady beats of his heart under your palm only fueled further the storm in your heart.

“But for real though, what’s the harm in sleeping with people just for pleasure?”

“There’s nothing wrong nor harmful about it. I applaud women who literally live for themselves and couldn’t care less about what people say and get what they want in life. But I just, I know myself and I know I catch feelings. I just don’t think it’s fair for anyone to be subjected to my delusional heart when all they looked for was sex. It’d be great if I could just for that moment, push aside all emotions and feelings and give into those primal urges, but I’m too scare that I can’t. Plus, there’s something about sex when you’re in love that I, I don’t know, addicted to.” You hoped with all your heart he’d just give up, of not putting you through the long winded road that had lead you to be this hopeless romance.

“What do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t understand even if I explain it for the millionth time. You just have to experience it... You have experienced it, right?” The way his eyes grown three times its size, the innocent curiosity teetering at his lips with all the questions his heart could ever dream of asking... It made you wonder if Yunhyeong had ever experienced true love.

“I- I don’t know.” He stammered and your heart shattered.

“But, you’ve had girlfriends and... What about your first time?” You curled up in your seat, leaning forward with all the anticipation, and a curiosity that mirrored his, perhaps even more.

“Just because I’ve had girlfriends, it doesn’t mean I’ve experienced love or this complicated emotion you’re describing. And my first time? It was a drunken one night stand in the frat house.” As nonchalant as ever with his sexual conquest, honestly you weren’t so surprise that his was neither planned, nor painfully awkward as yours was. It was admirable the way he went about things, getting what he wanted without really ever letting frilly matters of the heart getting in the way.

“Oh. I see.”

“I mean, don’t pity me or anything. I had fun and I guess that just mean I’ll get to experience something super special in the future.” He noted the way the corners of your lips dipping slightly into the tiniest frown and suddenly his heart too, ached. “I guess you could say I’m still waiting for someone special.”

“I not, I swear! I don’t mean to be condescending about it. I’m sorry if it came off that way. I just, thought that you’d have experienced it with at least one of your girlfriends.” Silent gently blanketing over your small living room. You let your eyes glued to the nonsense blasting on the TV screen and he too, though much less focus.

“Uhm, I can’t promise to understand but can you still explain it anyways...” A sheepish grin on his lips, Yunhyeong got his fingers scratching the daylight out of his poor scalp, eyes flickering between yours and his tapping foot. Suddenly the suave lady-man disappeared, leaving behind the sweet boy that had tormented you with his care through your entire high school career.

“Well, when you’re in love with someone, you’ll always see them as the best thing in this world even when the days had been rough and life hadn’t been kind. They’ll always see the best version of you even if you were going through the worst day of your life. So, needless to say, the same principle applied to sex.”

Your explanation got Yunhyeong at the edge of his seat, blindly reaching for the remote to turn down the TV as he got his eyes glued on you. The way he was staring, it made you wondered if he was mentally jotting all these down as if you were giving a crash course on love.

“Even with something as silly as body hair, if someone truly love you, they wouldn’t let something as trivial as a little hair getting in the way of enjoyment. Or if out of stress, out of exhaustion, you happened to under-perform, they wouldn’t care because there were and will be countless times when everything is great. Things you’d think as embarrassing, things that you would think twice about telling just anyone, that person would just see it as curiosity, as exploration. My point is, without having to worry about superficials, you’ll enjoy sex for what it is, fully and truly, transcending just a physical act but emotionally and spiritually.”

“I see...” You could hear the cogs in his brain churning, teeth chewing his soft lips raw.

“With sex, you can’t just phone up someone and ask them-” The realization of just whom you were talking about hitting you squarely in the chest like a freight train against a tiny, unsuspecting bunny. “Well, actually no, you probably could just phone up some girl and she’d be more than happy to oblige.”

“I’m not that popular, you know.” He drawn out a heavy breath with a small jab to your side, earning himself a sharp gasp of a laugh from your lungs.

“Okay, but still, I’m sure if no one else would, Jinhwan would suck your dick.” Your little jab earned yet another sharp glare from the man, on the edge of just mauling you himself. “For me, just thinking about calling someone up to ask for a no string attach, one night stand already is mortifying enough. Then there’s also the issue of who can I call, will they laugh in my face, would they take advantage of the situation. There’s so many issue that honestly, i’d be put off long before actually going through with it.”

“I honestly, I’ve never really thought about sex in that way. It always was just a way to release my frustration, something I enjoy.”

“And nothing wrong with that, I’m just too complicated for my own good. Hell, even if I somehow managed to score myself a fuck buddy, it’ll always be quid pro quo. I love the moments after when you’re just laying there cuddling, trying to catch your breath, sticky and sweaty. Limbs entangled, trying to figure out if you should just clean up or try your best to tetris yourself around the cum stained spots and fall asleep. Then the morning after, stinky breath and bedhead, remnant of an entire night of fun crusted yet you feel content. I want all of that and unless it’s with someone I love, I’d be way too self conscious to let go and enjoy myself.”

As the last syllable leaving your lips to join the softening atmosphere, warming with feelings, Yunhyeong sat in silent and you let him be for what you had just unloaded, probably too heavy for a random Sunday afternoon. Perhaps needing time to absorb, perhaps any second now he’d burst out laughing at your outdated ideology, Yunhyeong hadn’t let on a single emotion since your words melted into the world. Whatever will come, at the very least you got to let your heart sing in front of the man who it truly belonged to even if he doesn’t know it. For now you’d just bask in the comforting, content quietness, rarely the case whenever you and him were bound in one room. It was strange, how light you felt despite not anywhere nearing to confessing your feeling, not even a hint for the oblivious man to hang onto. Perhaps for now this was enough, to let him know the kind of person you are, your true emotions and state of mind.

“Would it be strange if after all that, all I can think about is you?”

“Woah, slow your roll... What does that mean?” Nothing could ever hope to prepare you for this moment when Song Yunhyeong confessed he thought of you when he thought of emotionally complicated sex.

“I- I’m not sure but, i keep thinking about it. Holding hands, lazy morning in bed, sweaty and exhausted yet content and happy, cleaning each other up, showering that may or may not lead to more... All of that, all I can see is you.” The warmth behind his beautiful eyes screamed sincerity, yet you couldn’t help but let a bit of doubt lingering in your heart, stopping you from devouring the man this very second.

“Are you just saying that because I like poured my heart out to you?” You questioned, half hoping he’d say no, yet you won’t succumb to hope just yet.

“No, no, not at all. Come on, Y/n, I’m not that emotionally inept that I fall for someone just because of a speech.” He pinched your cheeks and truthfully you were glad for it hid the blush heating up your skin. “I mean, like when I think of those things, I see me, of course. But it’s not with just anyone, or a faceless person... I see you, just peacefully snoozing in my arms. I see your fucked out expression but also that smile you only sport when you’re extremely happy. And, perhaps that also explained why I’ve been feeling strange when you’re around.” He had your heart in his hand and with each second ticking by, with the closing distant between your body, you were just a bit closer to passing out from the immense happiness warming your soul.

“Are you, do you like me?!”

“I- I think so. I don’t know how else to explain how incredibly happy these thoughts are making me. And no! before you can go ruining it, it’s not cause I pictured you naked.” He got both hands on your cheeks, shaking your head slightly with a fake scowl on his lips.

“I wasn’t going to say anything...” You muffled out through your pursed lips, wishing he’d just end your pain already and kiss you.

“I know how your brain work, lady. You can’t fool me.”

“Touche... So, what does that make us?”

“I guess, I need to know where I stand in your life... Do you, does it make things weird for you now that I have these feelings?” He was cautious, oh so cautious because it wasn’t just getting turn down by a snooty rich girl. It was getting turn down by you, his best friend and perhaps the person his heart had been beating so erratically for.

“Uhm, that, that might take awhile. I have about 5 years worth of feeling to catch you up on.” Eyes falling onto your laps, heart nearly leaping out of your chest, you couldn’t bear saying those words with Yunhyeong watching so closely.

“Fi- Five years?! God, Y/n, were you ever going to tell me how you feel?” His shriek of surprise nearly sending you tumbling onto the ground had it not been for the hands holding your shoulders.

“No, honestly. I’m sappy and all that but I’m just a chicken... If there’s even a 1% chance you’ll say no, I will keep my mouth shut for the rest of my life.”

“I- So if i hadn’t start this weird conversation, you would’ve never told me...”

“Pretty much...”

“You’re right, we have a lot to talk about.” A heavy sigh falling from his lips. To think all these years he had been bragging, smug about the girls he had slept with and the parties he had conquered. Knowing you’ve been listening, eating up all his words even when it was damaging to your heart...“And about what’s going to happen now... Well, I definitely do not want to rush into anything... You’re too precious for me to just fuck things up because I’m impatient.” As much as he’d like to whisk you off your feet and maybe finally experienced this new world of physical love, there were still too many things unsaid.

“I’m precious?!” You gasped with a bright smile on your lips, and as adorable as that was, it was becoming very distracting for his brain to properly function.

“Focus, woman!”

“Right, sorry...”

“But at the same time, I don’t want to drag things out for so long that it jeopardize our feelings. So how about we just take things slow, go on a couple dates and just see how it plays out?” He proposed an offer that you could never turn down.

“I’d like that.” And though neither of you yet brave enough to let a kiss bloom, Yunhyeong had finally worked up enough courage to pull you into his arms. He held you for what felt like an eternity, feeling the fluttering of butterfly in his stomach, in his heart, and in his soul. It was so strange, the nervousness, the anticipation, it wasn’t anything new, anything he hadn’t experienced before. Yet this very second, it felt as though the world ceased to exist and it was just you and him, sharing body heat and soft words, stories of the past, and plans for the future. Yunhyeong wondered if this was what you meant because if everything you had said was true, he couldn’t wait for the day when kisses won’t be a rare occurrent and he’ll be able to love, worship you in every way he can.

#yunhyeong #yunhyeong scenarios #ikon #ikon scenario #ikon imagines #ikon fanfic #song yunhyeong

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