#the fact that my parents really had me at 22 tho...

[aakeysmash]

Roommate or boss?

part 2, part 3, part 4

Pairing: f!reader x Katsuki Bakugou.

Warnings: none, really. AND THEY WERE POSSIBLE ROOMMATES, MAYBE?

Context: 3k words. Reader is a barista and she only meets Bakugo at the end of this </3. He’s her boss but she doesn’t know. I don’t delve into this tho, just so you know. They’re both 22.

A/N: never thought I’d write a slow burn but I HATE not giving context. This is just me yapping with zero grammar context whatsoever. The reader is super oc in this one, but all the girl names I thought about were UGLY. Let me know what you think about it!

“No.”

“Come onnnn it’s gonna be just this one time” pleads your best friend from the other end of the phone.

“Ochaco, you know I hate when you pull this shit” you reply, while putting your jacket on.

“I knowww, but listen, me and the cute guy have had NO time for ourselves lately and-“

“And you’re leaving me doing this assignment with who knows who? We’re always partners for physics, you know I can’t do it all alone and you can’t phrase your deductions to save your life. We complete each other. You’re my soulmate. Why are you leaving me for a guy?” you whine, while closing the door of your apartment and walking towards your car.

“It’s gonna be just this one time, I promise! It’s not like we’re gonna fail. I think. I hope…” she mumbles.

You sigh. “If we do fail, you’re getting your ass beaten, I am so for real” you concede after thinking about it. You start your car and put your phone on speaker.

“BABEEE I love youuuu! You know you’re the only one for me! I promise to finally tell you all the details on Saturday” she squeals.

You wince. “Nah, I can’t this Saturday. I have to work, manager is on vacay. Maybe Sunday?” you said, knowing she will start rambling.

“Y/N just leave that place, they don’t even value you as a person, let alone as a worker. Plus, your manager is a bitch” Ochaco says sternly. “I still haven’t got over the fact she makes you work double shifts just because she wants to be in Bali with her new stupid tomboy. Who, by the way, cheats on her. You said so yourself, and I heard him and your colleague going at it that one time I came to visit you last week -not Momo, bless her heart, how is she by the way?- oh and he steals her money. And-“

“I need the money, and I do love to make coffees for the nice old ladies that tip me” you interrupt your more-than-protective best friend, knowing that she could go on complaining for hours if you didn’t stop her. “Also, I just got to the cafe and I’m already running late. I’ll text you when I get off, okay? Love you”.

“Yeah yeah. Don’t overwork yourself too much, love you” and you hang up.

You and Ochaco have been friends since you were babies. Your parents were neighbours back in your hometown, and your moms coincidentally got pregnant in a span of 2 months apart from each other. You have been attached to the hip all of your school years, and fortunately you have been accepted at the same campus at university. You moved to different apartments because you wanted to be independent, but you are still living pretty near each other. You are enrolled in literature, while Ochaco has a passion for astronomy; you had chosen physics as a bonus class for some extra credits since Ochaco said it would be easy and you trusted her, but she didn’t take into consideration that you failed math throughout all of high school, and she had to save your ass multiple times in the past. You’ll never forget her face when she got an 86% on one of the graded tests she did for you: she was so disappointed she made you ask the professor to redo the test, which you barely knew the basics of. She got 100%, and the professor congratulated you (her) for being such an overachiever. You never felt more ashamed of yourself and proud of your best friend at the same time. On the other hand, she made you do her English essays on a monthly basis, so she really wasn’t in the place to complain about doing all the dirty work for you.

You had partnered up with her since she was a genius, but she met this “cute guy” a month ago and was head over heels for him. She still hasn’t said his name to you, all you know is that he is a part of the physics course and he apparently just stole your assignment partner.

You sigh inwardly. Sometimes you wished love could come to you as easily as it comes to Ochaco. She is a lover girl at heart, nicer than anybody could ever hope to be, but she sure could bite if she had to. She has been there for some of the worst moments of your life, and you have done the same for her. You really didn’t know what you would do without her. Maybe you should get her an apology pastry from the cafe’s leftovers to make up for the last two missed Saturdays (“they’re for the girls!” she said, and you meticulously met up every week up until you had gotten a job).

You’re a bit distracted by thinking about her when you get into the place you work at. It’s a cute cafe, a little bit too orange for your taste, but it’s cozy enough to make work pleasurable. Plus, it’s 5 minutes from your apartment (15 if you walk, but you are lazy). They pay on time, the coffee is good and the clientele isn’t too bad. If it wasn’t for-

“You’re 32 seconds late. You’re getting a formal complaint this time” says your manager, waiting for you with her arms crossed.

“Put that on the note that says I worked 8 extra hours a week for the last 5 months. Hello to you too, weren’t you supposed to be in the Philippines or whatever by now?” you say sickening sweet, with the fakest smile you can muster, while you pass next to her to get to the room behind the register.

“Shut your smart mouth up before I get you fired!” she almost screams. Some of the people at the table near her look at her like she’s crazy before going back to their cappuccino.

“My oh my miss Utsushimi, it’s not nice to use that tone before the rush hour” you reply, giving an apologetic look at your regulars next to her.

“Mpfh, whatever. Close up this place when you’re done, the boss will probably be in to ask you for the keys at the end of your shift. I’ll be MIA for the next two weeks, bye” she says to you. Then she turns around and smiles sweetly at the clients who previously looked at her with distaste and lies “pregnancy hormones I hope, me and my man are trying for a baby, I’m sorry for scaring you!”. You know damn well she had an IUD appointment last week, because she made you work instead of working herself. Fake bitch.

Without saying anything else, she leaves the place.

“I hate her ass so much”, says someone next to you.

You snicker. “Who doesn’t, Momo?” you face her with a genuine smile.

“Never leave me alone with her ever again, you know I can’t survive this place without you, work wifey” she kisses your cheek fast, before going back to making coffee for a client at the register.

“Ochaco will be hearing about this and she’ll slap you” you laugh heartily.

“I love her too, she’s my work wifey’s wifey, so she’s basically my wifey” she winks at you.

After a few more laughs here and there, you both go back to work like usual.

A couple of hours pass and it’s closing time. Momo waves you goodbye, clocking out. “I’m so tired I could sleep on the floor right now” she whines.

“Yeah, how about no. Let’s go, babe. We don’t want to drag Y/N’s time” says her boyfriend, Shoto, who shoots you a nod of acknowledgement before placing a hand on her lower back and escorting her out of the cafe. “I remember suffering at closing times, let’s leave her be and go home” he nudges your colleague, smiling down at her. He has been inside the cafe a lot in the years you’ve worked here, sometimes picking Momo up. Momo says he was one of the best bartenders the cafe ever had, but he found a job that payed him more and he decided to leave. You couldn’t blame him.

“See you soon, you two lovebirds!” you reply, waving a hand of your own.

Now all alone since even the waiters have gone home, you clean up the counter before packing up the pastry for Ochaco.

“Damn, I have to wait for the boss to give him the keys” you remember, rubbing your face.

You wait 45 minutes before a redhead makes his way into the cafe. He seems busy on the phone with someone.

“I’m here, let me just get- fuck no I don’t wanna talk to Camie about it, Baku- no, wait- fire? Are you going to take her place and finally come down here like the boss you are? Yes, I know- what? And where would we- what do I have to do with all of this? No, I’m going home- fuck, he hung up” the man sighs, before turning his body towards you.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting, not really manly from me” he smiles, looking sorry.

“Oh don’t worry about it!” your smile was really stretched, and you think he notices, because he says “sorry” again. “The manager said to give you the keys. So you’re the boss?” you say politely, stretching your hand with the keys towards him.

You’ve seen him multiple times, he’s a regular. He always gets the same order (one black coffee and one hot chocolate with extra cinnamon), and he always tips you and Momo well. Today he seems distressed.

“I wouldn’t wish to be the boss, to be fair. You could say I’m his right hand. Where’s Camie? Boss needs to talk to her in private before next week comes” he sighs.

“She said she’ll be gone for two weeks” you reply, confused.

“And who said she could do that?” Kirishima, you think that’s his name since you’ve written it on his order just yesterday, looks at you in disbelief. You shrug. “I don’t ask. The less I know about her, the better I feel about working here”. You start to pack your things up, before going towards the door with the man following behind you closely.

“This is nuts. I hate doing job interviews” he mumbles fast, turning the key in the lock. You raise an eyebrow, what is he even talking about?

“Do you live near? If not, I could give you a ride. I’d hate losing the only barista who makes boss man’s drink good enough to not make him pissy” he says, while pointing to his car.

You laugh. “It’s just a hot chocolate. Tell him he should try it with a few drops of hot sauce in it. Sounds disgusting but it’s actually pretty good. Also don’t worry, I live just down the street”. He nods and you wave each other goodbye.

“It does sound horrible. Thanks again for waiting, see you tomorrow for the same exact order I always make” he grins, then gets in his car and drives away, not after seeing you get in your car as well.

Once at home you call Ochaco, who’s “been worried sick, you never get home this late”.

“Y/N you seriously need a roommate. Did you even eat?” she reprimands.

You sigh. “I have to meet someone tomorrow. But you know, girls tend to look at you weirdly when you say you need them to know how to cook. They feel like you’re looking for a maid. Like, I can’t eat sandwiches every day like I did with the last roommate I had” you explain while opening your fridge. Sausages and smashed potatoes from yesterday will do the job for today.

“The psycho who thought vegetables made her look weak? Freak” you hear your best friend snicker. “At what time are they coming over?”

You groan and say “8 am. It’s a guy this time. Who wakes up before 8 am at uni? He’s already lost 2 points for this” while gulping down your food.

Ochaco’s snicker is now a full laugh. “People who have their lives together, maybe? But pay attention, males scare me” she replies quieting down.

“Yeah yeah. I’m gonna sleep now, text me the deets for Sunday, okay?” you clean your plate and go to the bathroom to wash your teeth.

“Will doooo. Good night, babe” she smooches on the mic before hanging up.

After making sure you locked your apartment door, you go to your bed, where you manage to fall asleep in thirty seconds.

The next morning you’re brutally awakened by the sound of your doorbell. You look at your phone screen: 7:42 am.

“Who the fuck is it now?” you grumble, before going down the stairs and looking through your peephole.

“Shitty hair I swear if this takes me more than 10 minutes… she hasn’t even opened the door. Yeah, she said 8 am, who cares if I’m early? I AM NOT the only one awake on a Saturday morning. Y’all are just lazy fucks” a blonde rudely says into his phone. You can hear him talking loudly from behind the door. You widen your eyes, before screaming “coming! Give me 5 minutes!” and rushing towards your bathroom to make yourself presentable. “Fuck, I forgot about the roommate appointment” you whine, while putting on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. At least they are clean.

You open the door to find a broad man staring at you menacingly. He’s kinda tall, kinda (really) fit, kinda underdressed for the winter. Kinda hot, too.

“Hi, how can I help you?” you offer him the nicest smile your still sleepy mind can muster.

He looks you up and down, before focusing on your face and levelling you with an indifferent look.

“You must be Y/N. I’m Katsuki Bakugo, we had to meet at 8 am for the spare room offer. I've been here for 15 minutes” he gruffly declares.

You add “rude” to your list of “kinda”. You don’t like his tone. -1 point.

“Yeah, and it’s 7:48” you bite back, your smile faltering while shaking his outstretched hand. He’s definitely going to the gym with the callouses he has.

“Come in, I’ll let you see what you’re getting yourself into”, you say, opening your door more.

You live in a nice apartment, you think. There’s a nice kitchen with a nice island that also serves as a table in front of it, a blueish couch in front of the tv, and a couple of steps that bring you to a corridor with three doors: your room, the spare one and the bathroom.

You describe everything while he stays in absolute silence next to you. It makes you feel uneasy. -1 point.

You just finished showing him the bathroom and are ready to tell him you don’t think he’s a good suitor when he finally speaks up.

“And how much do you pay for this shit?” he asks. Nice voice, you think. Gravelly and rough enough to not sound annoyingly forced. +1 point.

“500 a month” you reply, while returning to the kitchen.

“Your shower needs some work done, it leaks. Also, mold is starting to show on the bathroom ceiling, might wanna check on that. Your oven looks unusable in the condition it’s in. Small tv. At least you’re clean from what I've seen” he begins to say.

You frown and turn to look at him. Did this bitch talk for the first time in 15 minutes only to complain?

“Do you even know how to cook with said oven?” you say, ignoring everything else he just said, and giving him a nasty look.

He tsks. “Yes. Is this your way of asking me to cook you fucking breakfast? I don’t eat with lazy people who get out of bed at 11 am” he makes sure to say.

You scoff. Men really do find the audacity to say stuff like this nowadays? It seems like you've been out of the loop for too much.

“You showed up early. It’s a sign of disrespect, you know? Also no, I know how to fix myself something. I just don’t want you to burn my kitchen down to a crisp and smell takeout whenever I get home” you say in the rudest way you find possible.

He smirks before saying “might wanna check on that fucking attitude of yours too before I poison your food”, tapping your shoulder to get you out of the way and take out some pans. You showed him where to find them earlier on.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you say in disbelief. “This is still my kitchen. Get out”.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m making you fucking breakfast to say sorry for interrupting your princess sleep. Just make coffee while I come up with something. If you know how to make it, that is” he doesn’t even look at you while getting eggs, milk and bread out of the fridge.

You’re baffled. He’s making himself at home when you didn’t even say he was accepted.

“Wait, you’re still not-“

“I'll give you the money at the start of every month. I’ll paint the walls of the room, I hate that fucking green, but painters are scammers so I’m doing it myself. I’m clean, I’ll just need a spare key in a matter of days to take my shit here. I’ll keep myself in my room if you keep yourself in yours. Any further requests?” he interrupts you, assembling his french toasts on the pan.

You’re even more stunned. But you’ve always been quick with your thoughts, so you come up with something.

“I’ll say yes if those french toasts are good. If they’re not, your ass is out” you say, still not looking at him, while making coffee.

“Might say yes if you know how to make a hot chocolate from scratch instead of the poor coffee that machine will make” he watches you from the corner of his eye. You scoff, you’re a barista nonetheless: who does he think he’s talking to? Meanwhile, he could swear he knew you from somewhere.

“Deal”.

“Deal”.

Neither to say, the french toasts were “not that bad” and your hot chocolate was “barely fucking acceptable”.

[tookthe-405]

VBS

Chapter 2: Damage gets done ~ hozier (MY LOVE)

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a/n: again, sorry this took so long, life’s been stressful but I hope y’all like it <33 its long af tho

this is honestly just me messing around with happiness and then destroying it soon 😍

c/w: smut in future chaps!!, religious trauma, internalised homophobia, religious manipulation/abuse, implied abuse by parent

summary: you grew up religious without questions and in summer you would get send to vacation bible school. The camp always felt like prison to you, until a very interesting girl appeared.

7/22/2007 (sunday, week 1)

Readers pov:

10:02 a.m

The faces of the others were frozen as you trudged back to the hostel, which you couldn't blame them for. You don't see two girls with wet clothes here every morning, and the fact that you had to walk past the dining room to get to the stairs didn't exactly help you stay inconspicuous.

You and Ellie lost track of time a bit and were already too late when you noticed that breakfast had already started. The dining room doesn't really have a single door, the room was just completely open with no wall or door that could have protected you from being seen.

Giggles and agitated whispers immediately started as Ellie walked past the large room and down the corridor. Pastor Tobias' eyes pierced into back of your head as you walked past the hall.

Ellie found it all very entertaining and waved to a group of people who greeted her back with a laugh.

You, however, couldn't meet anyone's gaze, not your friends and certainly not Pastor Tobi's.

With your head bowed and your wet hair hitting your red cheek, you quickly fidget past all the spectators.

After 2 days, the events came dry from the lips of the people and you and Ellie could walk through the halls with a little less shame.

Or at least you did.

Ellie didn't think the whole thing was so bad. She said she didn't care and that it was worth it. That you hadn't done anything wrong, and she was right, you hadn't done anything bad.

But guilt was beggingly nibbling at your skin, hoping to be let into your brain where you would make up some fucked up mistake.

The singing of the choir and hazel next to you make it a little harder to think about all this, but not impossible. With your luck, you might dream about it. The whole scene in front of you, is so familiar that it feels like you are timely. The many children of different ages who sing their souls out to be enough.

Some of them are also really good, and some are good and love to sing. But they will probably not get any further than your little congregation, because it was explained to you from an early age that those talents you own are there to serve God and only him.

Acting out of free will would make you feel too guilty.

Your gaze rushes behind a shoulder to Ellie, and even she sings with it. Ellie seems to have made friends with a group of boys and girls a few days ago. She fits in pretty well, everyone looks like they don't feel like being here.

The short-haired girl catches your eyes and winks at you slightly, which makes you grin. She's so inserious, it's to laugh sometimes. With the same grin, she makes a small movement with her fingers and hands that looks as if she is composing something on an invisible piano. You understand that she just wants to tease you and show her a guitar-playing gesture.

"Don't do that!"

The hissing in your ear scares you, and you shake together briefly. After you have stretched your body forward again, and your shoulders feel like wooden boards, you give Hazel an apologetic look.

She unobtrusively holds a finger to her lips instead of telling you to shut up.

But her look is not as angry as she sounded, she admonishes you to stay out of trouble and you have to admit, that has often saved your ass.

When you were smaller, you wanted to try out almost everything, whether it was because of your quick trust in other people or because you just hated yourself too much to have any self respect left, no matter what it was, it almost messe up your life. Or rather your social life in church. And Hazel was like a warning hand that pulled you back again and again, saving yiuin the last moment.

When the piano music ends quietly and slowly, everyone sits down again, and a squeak sounds through the room. The piano that is played on every morning is old, but still sounds quite good. You could play all the hillsong songs and the old ones of your grandparents with your eyes closed if you had to, but Tanja does a good alternative job for you.

Your mother liked it so much, when the piano was played in the service that she thought it would be all the more beautiful if her daughter sat up there.

"Good morning everyone"

The older pastor leans against his narrow pedestal with the large cross on front and looks slowly through the rows.

"Personally, I find that 2 days are enough to get used to a life in nature and among themselves with God" he sighs tired for a short time as if he is already disappointed about something.

"Tomorrow you will go to the city with your assigned room partners and grou leaders and spread God's word”

Groaning resounds around in the room, most of pre teens who would rather do anything else than talk to strangers in the summer heat. Your group also has less desire, but this happens here every year like a kind of tradition, so you've been preparing for it.

"Not only that! The kitchen also prepares candied apples, which you can then all hand out nicely together!"

That was new. However, you understand the purpose behind it, you would also like it more to sit and listen here with a candied apple. In recent years, so many people have slammed the door in front of your nose that a few apples can't be bad.

"Hey girls" Louisa's voice makes you all look over your shoulder.

She kneels in front of you to be able to whisper better and more inconspicuously.

"You have kitchen duty this afternoon, please don't forget it and don't plan anything"

you all nod in Union.

"fuck"

"Kate!" Admonished hazel.

"What? It always takes like what? 2 hours?-"

"2 hours and 46 minutes" you improve her.

The four girls look at you confused.

"I stopped time last year out of boredom"

hazel grins at you, you twist your eyes but there is also a soft smile on your lips. You know exactly what's going through her head.

'That's so weird but just too sweet'

"I can't even remember the last time" murmurs naveah dreamy, her gaze rigidly on the ceiling.

"Probably because it was so traumatic that your brain simply deleted it for you" Kate dramatically her index finger against her head.

"It wasn't so bad, Kate exaggerates."

"I don't"

"my legs hurt all day"

Kate's and Mia's voices roll over and you smile. Hazel looks at you questioningly. You gambled with your shoulders.

"2 hours and 46 minutes Hazel..."

the girl shakes her head and her brown curls fall around her face a few times. "I thought it was okay"

Kate snorts. "Haze you would walk around in underwear in the snow if it happened in the name of the church."

"You wouldn’t?

11:38 a.m (sunday, week 1)

Three. You got 3 soccer balls shot in your face within 1 hour. You're not surprised that one of them was from Caleb, but the other two were shot by the same pretty black-haired girl, and it didn't look like she was sorry.

"What the…"

You stare at her and Caleb's backs during the water break and hope that it was just a coincidence, even if deep down you know that it wasn´t.

"Does he still not like you?" Naveah, sweating, picks up her water bottle while her eyes wander from time to time between you and Caleb.

You shrug, now more focused on Caleb fooling around with some guys.

The air in the gym was incredibly thick and almost unbearable, but the leaders still talked you into a soccer match. It was more or less Hazel's decision anyway and you guys do everything she does. The high windows let in the warm sun, whose heat wasn't particularly welcome right now.

The teams are mixed, meaning there are boys and girls on the same teams, aged 16 to 18. There weren't many, but enough to at least form 2 fair groups with even a few substitutions on the bench.

Ellie is nowhere to be seen , which doesn't surprise you, you regret ever saying yes to this, but you miss her in the disgusting, sweaty, narrow air. Her presence and her funny jokes would have been the only thing that could have made this a little less shitty.

"What's the deal with him anyway?" Naveah doesn't seem to let this go.

"We just don't like each other, that's just how it is sometimes."

She frowns.

"I don't think you can hate each other so much without a reason."

"I don't hate Caleb, I don't really care about him"

Naveah lets out a snort.

"Damn didn't know you could be a little bitchy too"

Caleb turns briefly in your direction and you take that as a sign to turn away and finally sit down for the next 8 minutes. Naveah does the same.

“I think everyone can be a little bitchy, you can’t like everyone and everything”

“Jesus could”

“Well im not Jesus”

she stretches her legs out next to you and sighs deeply.

"I know, even if this doesn't sound good, I sometimes find the principle of the church really fucked up. I try to love everyone, even people who do bad things to me, but it doesn't always work."

You're very surprised that she comes to you with this, but now that she did, you want to give her the best comfort you can.

"That's okay, naveah. We're neither God nor Jesus, we can do some things and we can't do some other. And we find a lot of things difficult. So Hate who you want"

naveah laughs and then becomes creepily serious again.

"Thanks, since you became friends with Ellie, you seem more relaxed to me."

Thinking, you try to remember your life before Ellie, but you can't. Before that everything was much more colorless, it didn't make as much sense as it does now.

"yes, I guess"

"no matter what Hazel says, you're right, Ellie isn't bad. How can a bad person make someone else this happy?"

12:24 p.m (sunday, week 1)

You haven't heard from Ellie all morning. It was almost as if she had completely disappeared, and if you're honest, you've had the feeling for a while that one day, she would just run away from here.

You wouldn´t hold it against her, but you would still feel dejected and left behind.

naveah and you talk a lot more after the game, she's more like you than you thought and you think she's good company. She understands your humor and you don't feel stupid or judged after every sentence you say.

It often happens to you that you wish for a world and reality in which it was always so easy to live. Where not every breath you take feels wasted.

You try very hard not to think about Caleb or your siblings back home. Homesickness seemed to catch up with you sooner or later anyway, but you didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

The summer heat was bearable, but it was still uncomfortable, so you spent most of your time indoors. Shortly after 12, Naveah suggested playing a few rounds of Uno with you, and since there was nothing better to do, you agreed.

"My father taught me uno, I can still remember that"

there is a very faint smile in her voice that touches your ears. She sounded a bit sad, as if she´s mourning that time of her life.

"I don't know your father at all"

you put a wish card on top of the pile of other cards. One round probably turned into a few.

"He's not really a christian, sometimes I think that's why he is the way he is"

"What do you mean?"

"He has a lot of emotions, he doesn't know what to do with them."

Christian parents are often very strict, as there are many rules in both parenting and the Bible that you have to follow. But since Naveah is talking about her atheist father, you don't really have a picture of what she really means, both your parents are religious.

"I don't understand exactly what you mean naveah…"

half of your brain is focused on the girl in front of you and the other half on the cards on the floor. Naveah moved around a little to sit down a little more comfortably, but this position didn´t seemed to free her from the emotional discomfort.

"Sometimes he doesn't know where to put all the anger. My mother doesn't help much with that either. Both of them know how to provoke each other, but only one of them knows how to deal with feelings."

"I still don't know what you mean? How does that affect you and your fathers relationship?"

It seems absurd to you how you talk about something like that while you're playing Uno, but if that's what she needs.

"Girls, lunch is ready and then you have to rinse off."

Louisa's voice flashes through the room and everyone moves quickly, but you make a mental note to talk to her about it later. You walk at a slow pace down the hallway and the other girls just rush past you. You remember how easy everything seemed to you at that age.

On the second floor you meet Jonathan.

“Hey you got wash up duity, don’t you?”

A dramatic groan leaves your mouth and you nod.

Joanthan is nice. You know his parents very well and you both grew up together as often as you saw each other at school and he was one of the only boys who wasn't interested in bullying girl for fun.

"Are you in the same room with Samuel?"

“Samuel and Austin, luckily”

You nod in understanding and see your group of girls whizzing past you out of the corner of your eye. Hazel turns to you briefly and gives you that grin and suddenly you know exactly what's going on here. An unpleasant feeling spreads through you and you try hard to ignore it.

"yeah… it's nice that you're still friends"

"I can't believe how long I've been able to put up with these two"

You giggle a little bit uncomfortable and think about the many pranks the three boys have pulled off. Both here in the camp and at school.

“Have you planned any new pranks?”

"hmm I don't know if I can tell you that" Jonathan grins at you.

"Well, if I hear something about a prank, I know who it was."

He shrugs and chuckles softly.

"Do you know what you're planning to do after the summer holidays? Now that we've finished school." you ask him.

He doesn't seem so sure about his answer.

"Not really, I don't know yet whether I want to stay here or go further away. Samuel wants to study in new york, I feel a bit left behind"

left behind. You know the fear of that as well.

"No matter what you decide, you have a future everywhere, time goes by either way"

he smiles at you and combs a few thick curls out of his face. You notice that he's looking at you longer than necessary.

"Hey would you like-" "Jesus where are they?"

You try strenuously to find Hazel's brown curls over the many people's heads, but they are nowhere to be seen.

"Sorry Jonathan, I have to find the others before they can no longer manage to save a seat for me."

you lie coldly to his face.

Without any further words, you quickly march through the many groups. You can feel his confused look burning at your spine, but whatever he wanted wasn't what you wanted.

You notice two things in the dining room.

Luckily Hazel secured a spot for you and Ellie is talking to the girl who shot a fucking ball at you. Twice.

Ellie's face seemed neutral, she was smiling slightly.

Jealousy overcomes you and you´re embarrassed at how quickly and unexpectedly it happens. Your cheeks redden and you feel very immature, like in middle school when you were mad that Hazel had other friends besides you.

You sit down in silence next to Hazel, who has already placed a plate at your place. Some pureed vegetable soup that you have to force down.

"What did Jonathan want?" Kate leans forward eagerly.

Unexpectedly, Jonathan is a good distraction for once.

"You're being so childish"

"Come on, we're just curious"

That's how it was always with the boys. No matter what people say, Christian girls are obsessed with boys, no matter how much the feeling of guilt trys to destroy that. For many, boys even come before God in terms of interest.

Not necessarily boys, but more the romance itself. The acceptance and recognition of being enough for a man.

Your eyes flick to Ellie, who is still talking to her about something seemingly funny. Of course you don't care.

“He didn’t want anything from me and even if he did it i would not care.”

1:14 p.m (sunday, week 1)

You are just waiting to be let into the kitchen. It's nothing unusual to take on kitchen duty in camp. It's a kind of thank you from the church to the kitchen for cooking warm food every day. Every girl's room gets a turn twice a year. After the girls' rooms have all been through to the second time, there are two more boys' rooms so that it doesn't get unfair. Ironic isn´ it?

Every year it's the same, every year you can hear the boys crying and complaining when they're the ones who have to do it this year. Now was your day where you have to wash 200 dishes. The staff and managers involved.

Ellie isn't here yet. She can't really have forgotten it, Louisa reminded her not to do anything between 1 and 3 p.m. this morning.

"Okay girls, then let's get to work."

Lousia opens the door to the kitchen a little too enthusiastically with her key and everyone follows her limply. It's the same place with the same number of dirty dishes.

Washing the dishes yourself isn't that bad for you, it's the fact that this kitchen is so damn dark.

For some reason there are only 3 windows in the white, old room. The tiles on the floor are already old and a few edges have broken off, the potholes were noticeable on the sole of your slippers. It still smells like soup and detergent and you wonder who would want to spend hours doing something like that.

“Here” Hazel hands you gloves and an apron.

"Sorry I'm late" Ellie stands in the doorway, panting, looking for Lousia's gaze, but it still stays on you.

"Hey" she smiles at you… shyly?

You smile back and pull the apron over your head.

"Ellie… please don't let this happen again."

“I promise it won´t”

Hazel also hands her the things and Ellie doesn’t hesitate for a second. You're a little surprised that she showed up at all, but she seems a bit inergic to you.

"Okay, we'll divide into 3 groups and one will rinse while the other dries and puts thw dishes away," you almost order the others.

You grew up with a very tidy mother and a big sister, you know a lot about tidying up and organization. That's why no one hesitates and does what you said.

"I wanted to talk to you all day"

Ellie's rough voice loops into your right ear and you quickly grab the dishes and a sponge as a distraction and start to rinse.

"I'll rinse you dry"

Ellie seems surprised to have to pick up a plate but does as you say.

"Everything okay?"

What bothers you is how easy it is for her to read you.

“Yes, everything is perfect”

“It doesn’t seem like it?”

"That's your self Ellie?"

"Did anything happen?"

"No"

"Did I do something?"

"Ellie!"

You say her name a little loudly and Mia, who is standing across from you, turns to you briefly and smiles encouragingly at you.

No, that is completely wrong. You shouldn't be mad at Ellie, you should stand by her, she could be in distress or something.

You direct your gaze again, an embarrassing blush on your face.

As strange as it sounds, Ellie really looks beautiful in an apron. Her soft curves, her forearms that show off her fair, freckled skin and the black ink of her tattoo. She always has to pull up her sleeves no matter what she does.

"I just had a bad day okay?"

You take the next plate.

"Her name is Ruth"

Ruth. you imagine how the name would feel on your tongue, how it would taste. How it would taste on Ellie's tongue. Shaking, you banish the thought because the thought of a sentence where both Ellie’s tongue and taste appear, seems too dangerous to you.

"I didn't ask that"

"You didn't have to"

Nobody speaks for 10 minutes, there is complete silence. Your thoughts rush from one corner of your brain to the other. You didn't want to argue with her, you didn't want to be anything other than hers.

soon you realize that you have no right to be angry with Ellie. She can talk to whoever she wants. Strangely enough, it also seemed to make a certain amount of sense for Ellie that you were angry.

You Wonder why.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs next to you, a wet glass in her hand.

"You don't have to be, you didn't do anything, Ellie."

Your anger subsided, and your longing for Ellie's soft, warm voice grew.

"I haven't paid any attention to you all day."

"You don't have to-"

"But I want to. As often as I can."

Sometimes you think that she doesn't even notice what she's actually saying to you. That she's in a trance and doesn't even notice what's falling over her lips. How vulgar her allusions are, and how good they feel.

You turn around briefly, but no one seems to have heard.

"It's okay, don't worry about it now."

"I really am sorry though." Her hand rests gently on your back, but doesn't quite touch you. it is the gesture itself that counts here, but you can't help but think of her soft skin, of her many freckles that are certainly not only on her face.

"I know. Me too, I shouldn't have acted around like that"

her face shows how happy she was with the situation and you smiled too.

"I like your hair. It's really pretty braided" she whispers

her hands sadly turn back to the dishes and your gaze remains stuck to her for a while. But how could you not? who would ever want to look away from her?

"what did you want to tell me?" you ask her.

"how do you know that I want to tell you something?"

"you get really fidgety when you want to talk about something"

you notice so many things about her. how her leg fidgets slightly, how she keeps having to change her position and shifts her hips from left to right, how she bites her cheek, sometimes too hard.

"um... I had an idea"

"Ellie, no-"

"I haven't said anything yet"

the running water covers your voices, luckily, and no one notices.

"We're handing out these apples tomorrow and I thought to myself-"

you give her another glass and look into her soul.

"That's stupid and we're not 10 anymore, Ellie, what makes you think of something like that?"

Ellie takes the glass slowly and carefully, not breaking eye contact with you. Her eyes look hurt.

"Please explain it to me" you try to make your voice softer, more trustworthy.

"I don't want to be here. You don't understand, you're here every year and people love you. There's something wrong with me and I'm reminded of it every fucking day, I just want to show him what it's like to be treated like that"

you could hear the tears in her voice. You noticed early on with your brother that some people just don't cry, or at least don't like to. They express their tears differently, with Ellie it's her voice.

Her voice shows how she's feeling just as clearly as tears would have.

The kitchen is divided into two compartments. One is where they cook and the other is where they put the dirty dishes and clean them.

"How are we even supposed to get into the kitchen? And how do we know that they haven't already put the glaze on the apples? We don't know anything, Ellie-"

"Jesse's mother is volunteering to help in the kitchen. He said that he needs to help his mother to candy the apples this evening. But before that we can make a few changes."

Your mouth is slightly open. She has really thought this through. You hand Ellie another glass and stare at the door at the end of the room. No chance of her just getting in there. Louisa is a very nice manager but even that wouldn't gat an approve of her.

"How are we even supposed to get in there?"

CLINGGG

a high, loud noise bounces around in the air and you flinch so much that it hurts.

"fuck"

"oops" Ellie grins at you slightly after she has dropped the glass, you gave her to dry, on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, god I'm so clumsy"

Ellie gives you a whole scene, in which you don't have to do anything but hold back a laugh.

"Louisa, forgive me, it just fell out of my hand"

the other girls have to hold back a giggle too, even Hazel.

Ellie's high, dramatic voice sounded bad like a dying cat, but once again you were impressed by how daring she is.

"Yeah, yeah Ellie, clean that up. The broom is in the storage room"

Louisa presses the many keys into Ellie's hand and doesn't seem at all surprised.

"Thank you very much sister" for a moment you thought she was bowing.

„we’re not catholic Ellie-“

„But Mrs. I don't know where the storage rooms are"

„And I’m not married“ Louisa sighs

"Shit Ellie, I'm kinda enjoying this"

Kate grins at her and Ellie winks as Louisa gives Kate a warning look.

Ellie puts a strong, secure arm around you.

“Please accompany her”

Louisa waves her hands in the air between you two

“Sure” you reply like a robot

Ellie's arm pulls you towards the exit door and almost slams it behind you.

"first we ruin the glaze, then we can get the broom from wherever that was"

"in the storage room"

"whatever"

There are two doors to the kitchen. One that is in the washing up room and connects the two rooms and another that leads directly to the kitchen. The other entrance can be taken through the dining hall, and that's where you headed.

"if the pastor sees us, we're dead, Ellie"

you walk quickly but are still careful when you go around corners.

"I know, I think he wants to hang me on a scarecrow, I had a dream about that recently-"

you grab her arm and shove her back behind a safe corner.

"phillip"

"who the fuck is Phillip"

you press Ellie lightly against the wall because you are sure that sometimes she can't control her body properly. you peek around the corner slightly and see the orange hair.

"He's like the pastor's right-hand man, his best friend is also his roommate and his assistant."

"Pastors can have roommates?"

The orange spot at the end of the hallway slowly disappears like the light of a car on a dark night. This time you go first and Ellie follows you like a dog, she is also much quieter.

You feel 6 years younger and you like doing something you've never dared to do. Otherwise it was always the boys who played pranks and even though you never admitted it, you were always jealous.

Jealous of the freedom to behave like an asshole and not face any consequences. You wanted to have that laugh, that bond of having done something wrong together and to experience the big drama afterwards. To be praised for having done it.

"Shit, you like this, don't you?"

How can she read you so well?

"No!"

When you get to the door you stare at her knowingly.

"Yes you do, you're not as good as you always act doll. And I mean that in the best way possible"

"You're full of shit Ellie"

you let her pass you and the green eyed girl hastily tries to find the key.

"hey" you calmly touch her quick hands.

"calm down. don't stress Ellie"

her cheeks redden and her hands slow down.

"i really can't find it. fuck do you even have the key to the kitchen as a group leader?"

out of instinct you pull the door handle to use the key and the door opens.

"That was easier than i thought-"

Ellie puts the keys in her back pocket and carefully sticks her head into the kitchen. you keep watch so that no one walks by and tells on you. you quickly scurry after Ellie into the empty, warm room and smell the sweet air of the apples.

"the door has a fucking window" Ellie whispers in your ear and points at the door from where your friends are cleaning dirty dishes, the door that leads to Louisa who Is waiting for her keys.

goosebumps spread across your arms and legs and you are not sure if it is where Ellie is or the chance of being thrown out of the camp.

as you stand in front of the big pot you both breathe in out of reflex.

"It smells good, I even feel a little bad about ruining it"

Ellie watches the bubbling bubbles a little dreamily.

"Isn´t that actually vandalism?"

you ask thoughtfully.

Ellie almost laughs out loud and puts her hand over her mouth. You grab her arm and press even harder against her mouth so that she is really quiet.

"No, that isn't really vandalism oh my god you are innocent"

"Wow thanks Ellie, it was so enlightening"

you spend a while looking in the kitchen for something that might taste good and after a while Ellie finds vinegar that is probably decades old.

"that is so disgusting, remind me not to eat any of it"

Ellie's look confirms that somehow you'll have to eat it anyway.

"it will noticeable if we don't eat anything, just a small bite"

"Ellie what the fuck" you massage your temples with your thumb and watch her open the vinegar.

"not too much, okay?"

"yeah yeah"

In the end she used almost half the bottle to make it really gross. for an "extra reaction" she said. In the end you almost got caught by the pastor's right hand. In the end Ellie held your hand for exactly 4 seconds.

It was impressive how those 4 seconds stayed in your head for hours.

INTERACT WITH ONE OF THE LINKS UP THERE

Please post and repost a lot about Palestine especially right now. The videos shock me to my core and are really disturbing but people live these lives, these are children of someone. Please take your focus on the people in Palestine who are going thru hell. Help where you can

I really hope you liked this chapter, I will upload more after focusing more about palestine so it might take a while! Btw SO SORRY ITS THAT LONG

Taglist: @elliewilliamgfooc @bready101 @a-little-bit-of-everybody @vqxen @hersuniverse @nelzooo @shiimer @bellaramseysgirlfriend @sonthingwithl @vi0lentb3rry @elliewilliamsblunt @be3flow3r @adelaide013 @abbysbraids @mourningdovee

[codename-adler]

YOUR TROJAN TEAM?!?!?! flabbergasted. sooooo many lil guys u got there!!!

mayhaps some info on #21, Levi Romanov? love the name, very intriguing <3 or any of your choice, really, whichever you feel like sharing the most!!

oh boy. oh god. Levi's such a big file. u really know how to pick 'em Roo 😂 prepare to be sick of me...... (also ty sm for being chatty n enabling <3) //official unofficial USC Trojans OCs list here//

21: Levi Romanov (22) USC Trojans Backliner

[ face subject to change]

aight let's bullet point this:

born in USA (Alaska); child of immigrants (Belarusian father (born Alaska, parents 1st gen immigrant), Dutch mother (1st gen immigrant))

5'6½" (the half inch is important)(to Levi)(not the Trojans tho)(esp. not Jeremy)

BA: Communication (USC Annenberg)

goes Pro after college

bffs: Nikita & Angie

brother-from-another-mother w/ Nikita Bailey (their mothers are bff, grew up together in Alaska); Nikita is his bff/older brother figure/idol so he joins him in playing Exy (v popular in Alaska) and follows him to USC when he graduates HS

now for the love & tragedy chaos...................

both he and Nikita have a steady relationship with their longtime girlfriends, so much so that Levi talks to Nikita about proposing to his gf after graduation

one day though the 4 of them get into a car/boating accident that kills Levi's girlfriend and seriously injures Nikita's; Levi and Nikita are somehow miraculously the least damaged

it's a rough fucking patch for Levi (and Nikita, but that's a story for another day!)

enter Angie Pullman, Trojans recruit (ask!!! me!!!)

both men are immediately drawn to her, and inevitably it ends up in a big fight that creates a (temporary) rift between Levi and Nikita

luckily it ends up being an Adam/Gansey/Blue/Ronan situation (do you see where i'm going with this?)

because the thing is, there's this guy, Anderson [subject to change] Atwell

the assistant coach

ohohoho yes

Anderson’s really been there for Levi after the accident, bc he's been much more of a confidant to Levi than any of the team's therapists, probably because he's not a therapist; and then the shit with Angie and Nikita really isolates Levi, and slowly Anderson can't help but wanting to help Levi as much as he can, more than assistant coaches probably normally feel...

so Levi's not as straight as he thought, not in love with Angie like that like he thought, much more in love with Nikita than he always thought, and definitely, definitely super hard in love with his assistant coach (you see the Adam/Blue/Gansey/Ronan pattern?) (except there is nothing whatsoever between Nikita and Anderson. in fact Nikita probably hates him a little bit actually. fr fr.)

also before anyone sends me anon hate about my own OCs, the Levi-Anderson age gap is 22-30, so calm downnnn

so yeah Levi & Anderson, once they're all in and go all out, are disgustingly happy; but the hurdles are many and exhausting (i have another ask incoming for Coach Rhemann, which will coincidentally explain really well said obstacles)

i would say, apart from Jean Moreau himself obv and Adèle Moreau, Levi is the most tragic Trojan :(

especially because he used to be such a goofy ass mf, and so hyped about Exy on and off the court, before the accident, and nowadays he's much more a shell of himself, doesn't care much about Exy outside the court, always plays his very best but his heart's not into it, feels disconnected from his team and teammates, etc.

Anderson's the one to lead him back to his love for the sport <3

Jeremy did try very hard as his captain to reignite the flame inside Levi, of course, but let's say he had a little less incentive than with the Frenchman... if ya know what i mean... but Levi's just glad even his captain never gave up on him

birthday's June 1st //lmao beginning of pride month and i didn't even do that on purpose//

originally Levi was named Reuben Muller and he was German-American? but i decided to split the character in 2 and thus Levi & Nikita were born!

his bestfriend, apart from Nikita who has known since birth almost, is Jack Driver; they hit it off instantly the first time they practice together on the court (it also helps that Jack is both a moron and a wise man. very in touch with his feelings. it just depends if his brain cells are activated or taking a nap…)

once the drama settles down Angie also becomes one of his close friends

he’s an only child [pitiful]

did i mention his ADHD? oh he has big big big ADHD… he often forgets his meds, and he’s prone to lash out (mostly at himself) or zone out, but Exy really helps a lot with both his bottomless restless energy and his self-worth <3

on the meds thing: that was such a battle. for everyone involved. Levi, the doctors, his gf, his parents, Nikita... it was just barely starting to go well when the accident happened, and well. the step from ADHD to depression is already so small, Levi had no chance. but he's climbing up the hill again now :)

so Levi's kind of the dark version of Jeremy, or like a past younger iteration of Jeremy before he got to be the Captain Sunshine we know and love (and that's partly why Jeremy has trouble connecting w him, befriend him, even look at him sometimes); he doesn't talk much anymore, except to fight and curse, but then he turns around and drops by with a pan of brownies for the new girl because he saw her eating one all alone and sad in the athletes' hall, you know? he's very hard to pin down, even more so now that the constants in his life have been taken away or flipped :/ but he's a precious dude, trust me!

[star-dust-shark]

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,38,49,50

For the ask thing <3

Woah holy shit

1. ( a nickname of mine? ) Will, Pookie, Brother

2. ( an embarrassing story? ) I once showed a preppy girl a picture I drew of gay furries kissing when I was like nine

3. ( a turn on ) @crowwolf8

4. ( a turn off ) bad hygiene and jerk personality

5. ( something I look for in a partner ) kindness, a nice ass /j, funny and caring

6. ( about my best friend ) I have a few, but @lucasthedoofus-mushroomskulls is the coolest guy ever and he makes me rlly happy and @justagremlinoncaffeine is a cunt ( /j ur so cool ily /p )

7. ( about my worst enemy ) he’s toxic and mean and I hate him so so so much :3

8. ( about someone I think is cute ) hehe I love him :3 ( my bf )

9. ( about someone I think is smart ) smartest girl or maybe even person I’ve ever met, she’s nice and laughs at my jokes even when they’re bad :D I sit with her in French class

10. ( about someone I think is funny ) you laugh at his jokes and then question urself ( lucas, one of my besties I tagged )

11. ( about my crush ) he’s so sweet and so nice and so funny and cute and strong and erm yeah- I’m not a simp trust chat

12. ( about my parents ) I love them most of the time more so my dad I think my mom can be…

13. ( about my siblings ) my brother is annoying as fuck love him tho

14. ( something I like about my body ) nothing lol

15. ( something I dislike about my body ) everything

16. ( something I like about my personality ) I’m sorta funny I think

17. ( something I dislike about my personality ) most things but specifically irl I’m really mean haha

18. ( a quote I live by ) WE HAD A BONDING MOMENT!!! I CRADLED YOU IN MY ARMS!!

19. ( my favourite book ) ermmm probably any pjo novel or spvtw comic

20. ( my favourite movie ) any horror one or star wars one ( attack of the clones, a new hope, Alien, I know what you did last summer, a quiet place )

21. ( my favourite food ) I don’t like food much but maybe gummy sharks

22. ( my favourite drink ) MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER

23. ( a talent I have ) NONE 😭

24. ( an unusual talent I have ) I once armpit farted fifty times in a row 🎀

25. ( one of my favourite followers ) GYATT DAYUM UH- @iloveyapping @justalunaticfangirl @imarayoffuckingsunshine @imqueerandadeer and others

26. ( fictional character I relate to ) Will Solace and Tobias Eaton ( vent warning? )

27. ( my favourite book I read for school ) charlotte’s web

28. ( my favourite play ) idk I haven’t seen many

29. ( a childhood memory ) crying when I had to get off a ride at the fair

30. ( my best birthday ) I don’t really know actually maybe my twelth

31. ( an embarrassing secret ) I’m gay 🫣

32. ( a little known fact ) I’m homophobic

33. ( a time I made a mistake ) dating my ex like girl is a mistake in herself ( my bad chat but she was horrible to me )

I KNOW U ASKED MORE I WILL UPDATE I JUST NEED TO SLEEP NOW LY CHAT

[shroomystar]

Do you think anything happened to Mickbell's sister (or do you think she's still out there somewhere)?

hi!!! i actually have thought quite a bit about mickbell's family. i haven't settled ~completely~ on how i want his background to be, but i have a general idea & i'm gonna take this opportunity to rant about it on here after all even though you only asked about his sister (tho she is a part of this). sorry. lol

(tw for mentions of abuse, prostitution and sexual assault)

so first let's look at the info we have: mickbell grew up in the slums of kahka brud, which is not a halfling village like the one chilchuck grew up in, so he, unlike chilchuck, grew up around other races (as a sidenote that's not really important here: kahka brud seems to be a dwarven city, but there's at least tallmen, too, since we see one in the flashback where mickbell rescues kuro. so we have a majority dwarfs, but also tallmen and halflings, and since it seems from that to be a city that's not limited to one race we can probably assume people from all races (except elves and ogres and kobolds and the others that are rarer/usually only live in specific places) live there); we don't know anything about his parents; we know he's been alone for what looks like a long time since he's not old, either (he's about 25 in tallman years; 22 as a halfling of course); and we know him and his sister are "permanently out of contact," which could mean a number of things: that they don't talk anymore because they dislike each other, that she's dead, that they got separated, that they simply drifted apart, or things like that.

my first instinct here was to go "this does not sound like she's dead, i think kui would have said if she was dead" and i still think so, but i do think it'd be interesting if mickbell thinks she's dead... though i also like the angle of "they had a bad fight so now they don't talk to each other anymore".

ok, so now that we've got the facts and my initial reaction to them out of the way, here's what i vaguely put together in my head for mickbell's backrgound (again, subject to change):

i think it's very likely his parents were abusive (or at least one of them). mickbell very clearly is not in contact with them anymore, either (they could also be dead, however! but i think that's not as fun; and i think the abuse angle explains mickbell's general view of relationships and other people and also money a lot better than them simply dying), so they're not in the picture. i imagine that they either abandoned, sold, or kidnapped their children bcuz they've always been very poor and they just did not care that much. i also think that mickbell, as an older brother, probably tried to protect his sister as best as he could and tried to feed them both, having only each other; but as i've said, i think the "they had a fight" angle is fun, too, so i generally think they didn't really ger along regardless, lol. but hey, they were still family!!!

this one is a headcanon i mostly developed because mickbell is so weird about relationships (in canon, mostly with kuro, of course), and because i think it'd be interesting for him to be just as weird about sexual relationships and intimacy: i think he probably sold his body to people (mostly tallman; mostly male; which is also why i think he's mostly into tallmen (though mostly women) bcuz it's some way for him to feel like he has control over that trauma) to have enough so he and his sister can eat.

with that all there, what did happen to his sister? genuinely, the most interesting thing to me (the most important person in the universe), is if mickbell doesn't know. if he came home one day and she wasn't there anymore and she never showed up again and he couldn't find her anywhere and he doesn't know if it's because of their most recent fight, or because someone found her and killed her or worse. i think this kind of uncertainty--while still having the distinct feeling of being left behind--would very much explain why he clings so much; why he isolates kuro and freaks out whenever kuro spends time with others, why he seems so, so, so scared of being left out of nowhere again.

so, yeah, those are my mickbell thoughts!!! i think about him a normal amount!!!

(bonus: as for mickbell's sister, for some reason i imagine her to have a similar personality as mickbell; argumentative and mean and loud and annoying, which is why they did notttt get along whatsoever. i do think mickbell loved her a lot, though, if only because she was the only one he still had (which now is kuro, of course).)

[ynkfva]

im gonna answer this questions as my "dr self"

ib to @55maddox !!

1. In what reality do you live:

Yuri!!! On ice. ive never saw anyone shifting to there and its really amazing

2. What is your name:

Yelena Dmitriyevna Nikiforova. big ass name i know. fun fact: thats where my username came from

3. How other people call you? What are your nicknames, if you have any:

My russian friends and family usually call me Alyona, and my international friends call me Lena. My fans use both, but the media started calling me the "Ace of Skating" 😭🫶

4. How old are you:

Im 15 in that reality. Its SOOOO good being back at 2016. I didnt know i missed those times sm. but i miss tiktok

5. How tall are you:

1,70m or 5'8 (ig not sure tho)

6. What is your skin color:

White

7. Your body type:

Uhhh idk??? pear or hourglass

8. Your sign/birthday:

im a gemini and i was born in may 28th, in both universes

9. How do you describe yourself and your personality:

Very autistic /hj. i chose to not change my personality, but i dont judge those who do so. im usually quite and i like to read and paint. As much as im a figure skater, i hate off ice training. YAKOV LEMME GO BACK TO THE ICE ALREADY I TOLD YOU IM FINE-

10. Do you have living parents/siblings?:

I do!! Both parents and a brother who annoys the shit out of me. but i love vitya. my parents not so much. i just dont process them cuz of their money

11. What is your gender/pronouns:

Im a female and use she/her pronouns!

12. What is the color of your eyes:

Blue. very blue. like the sky. im not poetic.

13. How do your hair looks like, is it long or short?:

VEEEEERY long straight white hair (or platinum according to vitya). more than one meter of hair. it keeps beating yura on the face when we are training. dont let him know i do it on purpose

14. Do you have any scars/unique visual traits?:

I think not? i do have a mole under my left eye but i dont think thats unique

15. Do you have tattoos or piercings?:

Not yet but i want to do it!! At least a few

16. Signature scent?:

Idk? but its sweet. im terrible with scents

17. Do you have any powers/species abilities?:

Not in this universe

18. Were do you live, how does it looks like?:

I live in Saint Petersburg!! i really like the city, its a city with sm history and knowing that such great people used to live in there in the past makes my heart warm

19. Is there other people living with you right now?:

Yesss i live with my brother viktor

20. What do you do for a living?:

Im a professional figure skater. very hard but artistic job

27. Is there magic in your reality?:

No :(

22. How much money do you have?:

...a lot.

23. Who are your friends/best friends:

YURI PLISETSKY :DDD hes my everything yknow idk what i would do without him. im also friends with mila

24. Are you older or younger than them?:

Im the youngest on the ice rink 😭😭 but im only one month younger than yura so that really doesnt count

25. Do you have a crush on someone?:

No! Im aromantic :)

26. How did you meet everyone for the first time?:

Okay so theres a lot of someones in this dr. most of the people i met was because of figure skating and viktor already being famous when i started skating but lets talk about specific ppl.

I met yura when he moved to spb and started ballet classes with lilia. he was so cute and determined and i HAD to be his friend. i was doing ballet w him btw

Did you think I would meet yuuri along with yura in sochi gpf? cuz i didnt. not in person at least. i already knew yuuri from name cause im curious and i wanted to know everyone who was competing in senior and his artistic skills were REALLY good (he kinda reminds me of adam siao in this reality). you also thought i would meet yuuri in the banquet. but i didnt. well i DID saw him DRUNK DANCING WITH MY BROTHER and giving him a LAP DANCE but i was too busy filming and taking photos of it to talk to him. i only officially met him when me and yura traveled to japan

i met chris in one of vityas competitions when i was little. im like 13 years younger than viktor remember that. and i. i was jealous of chris taking my brothers attention. and i. i spat on him. yeah.

27. What are your hobbies:

Ballet, reading and painting

28. What do you like to talk about with friends:

We talk a lot about music and ice skating ofc but we talk a lot about everything tbh 😭 we dont shut up

29. What is your favorite food and drink:

(yuras) dedushkas pirozhki 🤤🤤🤤 ONE CHANCE TOLYA ONE CH- *yura's interdimensional slap*

uhhh drink? whatever i have to drink ig some soda. i dont like vodka

30. Your favorite color:

PINKKKKKK

31. Your clothing style:

i dress whatever i feel in the moment. i can dress coquette or gothic it depends

32. Your favorite place to spend time on:

Ice rink :)

33. Favorite sport, if you have one:

Ice skating duh

34. Favorite weather:

Rainy cold gray days

35. Favorite time of the day:

dawn

36. Favorite season:

Winter. but russias winter is ROUGH

37. Your biggest fear:

This is too deep to post on tumblr lol i dont even know

38. What makes you very angry?:

When im almost done w the routine and i miss a jump and YAKOV MAKE ME DO IT ALL AGAIN-

39. What makes you very happy?:

Whenever all of my friends have time to spend together

40. Do you have any pet?:

Its vityas but shes also mine. makkachin <33 good girl

41. Do you consider yourself a good fighter?:

I do! I made sure to script that i know how to fight lol

42. Is there any people you dont like?:

I would say jj but he just annoys me. OH. SARAS BROTHER. THAT GUY GIVES ME THE ICK

43. Do you have a favorite song that describes yourself, or just a favorite song in general?:

Gladiator by jann. really one of my favorite songs and it describes perfectly my dr

44. Can you play any instrument or dance?:

I can play piano and cello. i know how to dance waltz but thats it

45. Do you like to take risks and make new friends, or you are more reserved?:

Im more reserved

46. What do you do when you get very bored?

Reread crime and punishment

47. Are you a great leader?

No autism goes brrrrr

48. How is your daily routine?

wake up. hygiene. eat breakfast while watching tv. ice rink. skate. lunch w whoever is at the rink. skate. skate. skate. home. shower. read. sleep.

49. Your favorite smell

That one chocolate chris gave me in 2014

50. A big secret you have/know

yuri on ice fans might want to know what happened to viktors hair. i know.

vitya was celebrating after the banquet with some other skaters, drunk after winning gold in the olympics for the second time. he black out. he then woke up in the next afternoon, after missing his flight back home, with four other figure skater and three hockey players, all of them in the ground, wearing only underwear. his hair was a mixture of vomit, alcohol and dirt from the floor. there were even a few gum stuck to it. he was not the only one.

so he had to cut it yeah

[bartholomew-junior]

23 25 26... hmm. maybe sips ANd erina And gothi (unless you dont feel like that feel free to just choose one of them cause. 6 entire different answers to think) <3<3

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE thank u circular 4 ur boon of kindness. it is appreciated. apologies for the wait, as i had to let the ideas for this ripen be4 properly answering. i’m gonna start the first ask off with gothi from ep.10.

first of all, i just love her mask and am permanently sad that she never gets to wear it again. bonus for foreshadowing face reveal a few episodes down the line and making her an incredibly ominous cryptid like presence kind of. i just think she’s neat. next is erina in ep.32:

honestly i was really tempted to use a frame from when she was xanu possessed cuz it looked real fuckin cool, but i think this one’s more meaningful. she’s sympathizing with sips for once instead of trying to one up him (at least after a bit) and realizing how tough shit must’ve been for him. agh they make me insane. next is sips from ep.15:

from right after he ate bou claire’s heart. the buildup narration to him looking into the mirror is, ,, agghhh. the fact this was used to promo merch is funny also.

now for q. 25: technically, my first impression of gothi was her getting sips to do karaoke while drunk (lol) and that being the catalyst for EVERYTHING (this campaign is the equivalent of a snowball rolling down a hill). but now, it was her kind of managing and trying to quell sips’ anger best she could along with erina.

erina was just a memelord to me lol. sips wasn’t in the best condition the first few episodes, so my first impression was just that he was a bottomless pit of rage. now looking at the early episodes feels like looking at alpha minecraft in comparison to 1.21, especially without xanu or abby. sneeze was just a little guy.

ok freebie question time. i’m gonna pick q. 22 even tho there hasn’t been a new fic at all on ao3 since i updated my own fic (which makes sense considering we’ve kinda already met the goal of the series even if there’s a lot of stuff on the horizon). and i’ll pick all 3 of them + xanu for this cuz. why not

sips: a lot of the fics on ao3 4 this fandom are oneshots, so there isn’t much they’re able to explore if they’re low word counts, but my dream sips-centric fic would be like. a collection of missed/deleted scenes from his early life and time in ammurin with a kind of dream/void/death motif. bonus points if he’s trans

erina: i haven’t seen ANYTHING about her early life in kylandria being the child of busy royal entertainers, hell even her weapons are like a carnival trick, so i’d really like to see a bit of early life stuff again. are you sensing a trend. also her just dealing with royalty is fun and i have many ideas

gothi: early life again. listen she was a whole ass princess who was allowed to exist only because of her rank she was under so much pressure all of the time, especially with being buddies with xanu. did she ever talk to another defective foreclaimer. who are her parents. did they love her. ugh. also, seeing her interact with vicky is something i haven’t really seen before, so that’d be fun.

xanu: listen. i feel like he’d be the hermit on the high mountain type never interacting with anyone like thanos after killing half the universe. also, i feel like a lot of aspects of his character get discarded in favor of making him easier to digest and write, which i’ve done, and this does not do him any service. i think making all the fools gold cast kind of,, mlp headcanon designified is also fun and i want to do it. also bonus vicky

in conclusion: thank u circular <3333333 :]] :), i hope this isn’t miserably long. i’ve been all worded out for the day. do u ever think abt how vicky and sips are parallels and

[mast3rofnonee]

0:Height- 5'10/11

1:Virgin?- yes

2:Shoe size-11

3:Do you smoke?-no

4:Do you drink?-no

5:Do you take drugs?-no

6:Age you get mistaken for- 18

7:Have tattoos? -yes but no

8:Want any tattoos? -yesssss

9:Got any piercings? -yes (septum)

10:Want any piercings?-eyebrow, nose stud vertical labaret, belly, and my all of my ears

11:Best friend?- yes but not really (i literally fell out with my bestie of four years. Lmk for a storytime)

12:Relationship status- takennn

13:Biggest turn ons- intellectual/intelligence, funny, kinda really mean, big nose(s), and height (ntm tho)

14:Biggest turn offs - disrespectful to women (or anyone but mainly women) in ANY way, too sexual, dumb, immature!!

15:Favorite movie- CMBYN

16:I’ll love you if- you let me do weird stuff with you. like weird esoteric off-putting shit.

17:Someone you miss- My bestie, my man.

18:Most traumatic experience- idek know atp tbh but maybe when i got outted and when my parents thought i was doing drugs.

19:A fact about your personality- i am very goofy and a weirdo <3 (no corny stuff lmao)

20:What I hate most about myself- mouth lol

21:What I love most about myself- face, personality mainly tho

22:What I want to be when I get older- psychiatrist/forensic scientist

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)- good!!

24:My relationship with my parent(s) - fine. (dad), my mother im pretty close to id say.

25:My idea of a perfect date- picnic by a waterfall in a secluded forest in a cute bikini and fresh fruit with a charcuterie board with a speaker playing my music.

26:My biggest pet peeves- chewing with your mouth open, "ALPHA MALE" men, self centered people, being that try and force stuff on you (cough cough), being greedy, MEAN PEOPLE!

27:A description of the girl/boy I like- short king(lmao), curly hair, chubby, nerdy. (my bf)

28:A description of the person I dislike the most- normal height, afro hair, lightskin, crooked teeth, huge boobs.

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend - she would get mad at the truth ( dont do that anymore idgaf)

30:What I hate the most about work/school - teachers.

31:What your last text message says- idk

32:What words upset me the most- "youre not my _ anymore " idek i have sm

33:What words make me feel the best about myself- youre so beautiful, i can trust you, i love you.

34:What I find attractive in women- basically everything if i find them attractive. but even if not, i still like everything, ( i think women are the most gorgeous creatures on earth)

35:What I find attractive in men - big noses, body hair (hear me out), freckles, messy (long) hair / curly hair, pretty eyes, long eyelashes, thighs, ass, arms/ hands.

36:Where I would like to live- Countrysides in the medteranian (idk if italy counts), UK/ireland/scotland/iceland (idk if italy counts), any big city in western europe, NYC, brasil, or somwhere in washington state!!

37:One of my insecurities- my height sometimes, stretch marks sometimes.

38:My childhood career choice- archaeologist.

39:My favorite ice cream flavor- coffee

40:Who wish I could be- if i had to Zendaya.

41:Where I want to be right now- anywhere i would like to travel to, just anywhere, in a cute outfit with my favorite DILF.

42:The last thing I ate- whole grain crackers.

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately- Pedro Pascal and then after that one of my DILF teachers (teehee)

44: A random fact about anything- In WWII during the blitz in the UK, they shipped all of the children to the countryside of Britain to protect them.

[ladyartichokie]

0-44 on the ask game. I'm nosy and even though I know the answer to several of those questions I'm not going to type out every single number individually.

(plz feel free to ignore this ask lol I don't seriously expect you to type all that out even tho I'd read it)

killing you killing you killing you

0: Height? 5'0"

1: Virgin? You know the answer to this

2: Shoe size? Anywhere from Womens 5 to 9

3: Do you smoke? Nope

4: Do you drink? Occasionally

5: Do you take drugs? Nope. But fun fact, I had to take painkillers when I was little and they altered my taste buds

6: Age you get mistaken for? Well when I was like 11-12 I would get mistaken for 16. Now I think most people assume I'm around 18 just because I'm in advanced classes? IDK though

7: Have tattoos? Nay, my liege

8: Want any tattoos? I have mixed feelings on the morality of tattoos, but I know what I would get if I were to get some

9: Got any piercings? Just basic lobe piercings. I'm currently trying to convince my parents to let me get a second lobe piercing

10: Want any piercings? Yes

11: Best friend? Arnold Schwarzenegger

12: Relationship status? Single/married to more people than I can count

13: Biggest turn ons? I'm not answering this. (voice.)

14: Biggest turn offs? I'm not answering this

15: Favorite movie? 10 Things I Hate About You, Much Ado About Nothing, The Princess Bride, The Italian Job

16: I’ll love you if... you don't make fun of me for being excited for something. Or if you tell me something reminded you of me.

17: Someone you miss? My fake grandfather

18: Most traumatic experience? I'm not answering this, bestie

19: A fact about your personality... I'm actually really good at giving advice. I wasn't even aware of this until I accurately predicted exactly what would happen to multiple of my friends/their relationships

20: What I hate most about myself... my pride. I have a massive ego because I'm really smart and I know it.

21: What I love most about myself... IDK man.

22: What I want to be when I get older... A Dominican Sister

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)... They're good! It hasn't always been like this, but we're getting better

24: My relationship with my parent(s)... Always good with my dad, iffy with my mom

25: My idea of a perfect date... Truthfully I don't know. My parents didn't date before they got engaged, so dating has always seemed kind of odd to me.

26: My biggest pet peeves... People who buy crocheted stuff from fast fashion stores. I hate fast fashion in general, but crochet can ONLY be done by a human, so it's basically guaranteed that you're buying the product of slave-labor.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most... I actually am really bad at disliking people. Every single person who I've met and started out disliking I eventually came to like for one reason or another.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend... uhhh. Boredom? IDK. I used to be a bit of a pathological liar, but I can't think of a recent lie I've told a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school... bad seminars

31: What your last text message says... The most recent thing I sent someone (you) was "I did read 1.5 books from HTTYD"

32: What words upset me the most... huh, IDK. I can't think of any off the top of my head

33: What words make me feel the best about myself... This one is hard because I'm in this weird phase where I don't want my accomplishments recognized, and compliments in general frustrate me. I don't know why this is.

34: What I find attractive in women... Kindness that isn't wet-blanketness

35: What I find attractive in men... Warmness. Which, granted, sound like kindness but it isn't. (for legal reasons my answers to both this question and the previous one are purely platonic and subject to change)

36: Where I would like to live... a convent

37: One of my insecurities... My weight. I am going to the gym 2-4 times a week now, though, so I'm working on it.

38: My childhood career choice... a nun

39: My favorite ice cream flavor... Cookie Dough

40: Who wish I could be... a better person

41: Where I want to be right now... right where I am (that is, my bed)

42: The last thing I ate... a brownie

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately... Dobby

44: A random fact about anything... I'm currently trying to figure out how to make a cross-stitch that captures the vibe of No Longer You from Epic the Musical

For the record, you already knew at least half of these so I truly don't know why I bothered doing this.

[apriciticreveries]

Oh, I have a parent headcanon!

Well, several actually. All different ways to figure out how Ivan/Sua blood relation would work out (since this particular concept is very fun to me)

So, from the fact that Ivan is the only character whose date-of-birth we don't know, it's safe to assume he wasn't born in captivity (and the rest of the cast, therefore, were).

Which means we need to figure out how Sua's parents would be pets, while Ivan's parents would be free. I got 3 ideas:

1) Ivan and Sua are full siblings

In this case, Sua's parents would run off shortly after her birth. Either they couldn't take a newborn with them, or she was already separated from them, either option is highly likely, imo.

The two of them, now free, would have another child together, but since we know that Ivan was back in captivity at a pretty young age, I imagine their freedom didn't last long.

2) Ivan and Sua are half-siblings

Similar to the previous one, but only one of the parents escapes, then finds love with another human on the outside (or just an unplanned pregnancy lol). If it's Sua's mother, then nothing really changes, but if it was the father, then the escape can possibly happen even before Sua's birth (this is interesting for purposes of calculating Ivan's real gae, since he is approximately 1 year younger than Sua, but him being 22 and her being 23 might mean several months of age difference up to 1 year and 11 months. That's a pretty large gap! I really think that his age is calculated by how old he was presumed to be at his date of adoption, an that was used as his "date of birth". But we don't really know how old was Ivan actually vs. how old he was presumed to be)

3) Ivan and Sua are cousins

Exists mostly to imagine Ivan's parents as peope who lived a long time in the outside world (mostly bc this hc allows for his parents to gain freedom at a very young age)

These are far from the only options to reconcile their canon backstories w/ the sibs headcanon, but these are the ones I like :)

thank you for your ask ! it’s my first time actually receiving one, so im incredibly grateful <3

though relating to your theories, i actually really like them !

my favorite would probably be the first ( the other two are amazing as well ! ), though i hope that if sua’s parents really did have ivan after, that they didn’t completely forget about sua, and still cared about her :(

to expand on it a bit, maybe sua is a result of a pet human breeding facility ? or to be more specific, her parents were selectively bred to produce sua . ( kinda like some dogs sadly )

if ivan was their 2nd child, sua’s parents probably did love each other, and had ivan willingly after . though if they didn’t stay with sua, i would guess they were unhappy with their circumstances . im guessing that a lot of breeding facilities . . don’t have the best environments, or quality in general .

( and maybe on a sadder note, sua’s parents left sua because she would only be a reminder of the circumstances they used be in . )

anyways, sua’s parents must had been pretty intelligent if they escaped, but it depends on the security quality . ( maybe sua got their intelligence since she’s good at mental math tehe ) but after they escaped, they had ivan .

not for a very long time tho, since as you said, ivan was back in captivity himself not long after, probably at 3, or 4 .

ill be wrapping it up now though ! thank you again for the ask and theories, they’re incredibly thought through, and it really made me actually think about the ivansua sibling theory, and—

im just happy that someone actually wanted to talk about this stuff with me .

apri out ! <3

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 6/6/2023

two things to frontload:

if you have good vibes to send off in service of me getting a livable apartment in the greater houston tx area i would be most grateful, bc the hunt ain't fuckin goin too fuckin great

go play ABZÛ

listening

soul bossa nova by quincy jones bc it popped up on my discover weekly. i can only assume spotify recced this to me for bossa nova reasons bc i have been categorically ignoring austin powers my entire life and intend to continue on in this fashion.

it is a bop tho.

-

reading

when i wrote the pinned post for this blog i settled on "a common throughline in Shit What I Like is understanding how and why systems work" bc i hadn't yet listened to Well There's Your Problem, a podcast with slides about engineering disasters and systemic failures, and "OSHA aficionado" is shorter but less snappy than "WTYPP fan". anyway when i think "chemical spill" i do not generally think "hand sanitizer spill", and when i think "how do i get rid of all this unsellable poorly made hand sanitizer made in the early days of the pandemic" i do not immediately leap to "well i'll just dump pallets in this parking lot and warehouse and surely it won't spill and/or explode bc hand sanitizer is a product that makes you safer".

ArtNaturals was, at that point, not on the [FDA warning] list. Its sanitizer, labeled with a tasteful, millennial-friendly design that said it was vegan and infused with jojoba oil, was marketed as “safe for kids” and “a great bulk hand sanitizer pack for parents and teachers.” At least two school districts on the West Coast had purchased the sanitizer to distribute to students, in addition to two Ivy League universities. Then, in March 2021, a year into sales, an independent lab in Connecticut called Valisure announced that it had found benzene in the company’s sanitizer. Benzene, a widely used industrial chemical derived from petroleum, can be absorbed through the skin and is known to be a risk factor for leukemia.

came across it bc my rss feed really wanted me to subscribe to longreads (no), but this one did catch my eye as i was checking to make sure the site still wasn't for me

-

watching

watching this was a unexpectedly funny experience bc i recognized one of the backing instrumentals as a previous tuesdaypost song, which kind of felt like solving a mystery book on chapter three bc u knew an obscure fact about eels. this documentary came out in nov 22 and the song was one of this past feb's tuesdaysongs so i can only assume the spike in popularity from the documentary propelled it onto my discover weekly playlist??? the internet is a series of algorithmic tubes &tc

this is a tremendous work, as a documentary/history/archival effort/piece of art. it made me tear up. there's a very lovely sequence about memory and legacy that got me thinking a lot again about how i would like to be remembered. ive rewritten this section four times, when usually i don't redraft the tuesdaypost much at all. boils down to: complex and weird topic to talk about as an orphan, i am reluctant to be any more emotionally vulnerable than i absolutely have to during this time of great cross-country change and moving upheaval.

i appreciated how this was not tearjerker webby bait, which would have made it feel very hollow and embittered me even more during a week i am already predisposed to hate humanity. instead, mr perjurer is simply very good at his job (being an ethical documentarian)

-

playing

one game i really loved and one game i really hated, so it goes.

despite religiously downloading the epic store free game of the week bc i have a reminder written in my planner, i never fucking remember to actually look at what i have in that library.

ABZÛ genuinely healed my heart during a very unpleasant weekend.

i don't use this as a recs platform except for this one time when i am cashing in all my chips. go play ABZÛ, it takes like an hour and a half.

all you need to know about it you can get from the cover art. it is not a hard game and it is not a horror game. i went in totally blind and the less you know about this game the better. i was delighted nearly every minute. every time i saw an ammonite i felt like i was seeing an old friend. there are SO many clever game design choices i want to talk about. message me after you play this. i said "of COURSE IT WAS AUSTIN FUCKING WINTORY ON THE SCORE" during the credits. what an absolutely goddamn perfect little jewel of a game.

AGAIN: go play ABZÛ.

i also played Call of the Sea, bc it was in my epic library and i wanted something fast and oceanic to continue the high of ABZÛ.

Call of the Sea did not continue the high of ABZÛ. i think this team carefully and thoughtfully sidestepped several of the usual issues is making something Lovecraftian but fell into the rest of the pits. eg i liked that they had Polynesian culture consultants, but from an interview it seemed like it was limited to a one-day crash course? i am deeply grateful this isn't a dead-wife game and the female protagonist has a great deal of agency, but she's still a rich white lady from boston trekking about the Tahitian islands commenting on primitive structures, which made me suck air in through my teeth at many points. there is an "ancient slave culture" thread that never actually resolves. i really wish it resolved. the game overall is in a very weird place, trapped between the norms and mores of the early 40s and the 2020s. you have Got to commit to one or the other.

the overall vibe is very polished for a first game. general vibes are Firewatch but puzzle-adventure. the lighting is a little too dynamic and was very distracting throughout. due to this studio's age (new) and odd location (spain) and how their debut game came out (took a year and a half to make, debuted on gamepass) i understand why this game exists the way it does from a marketing and industry standpoint and why they favored visual polish and art style over everything else. it's still annoying bc it is so close to an interesting game.

the twist particularly infuriated me as a chronically ill person, spoilers for the twist behind rot13

gur gjvfg vf gung Abenu gur cebgnt vf frpergyl n "Qnhtugre bs Pguhyuh", naq ure puebavp cebterffvat gb grezvany vyyarff vf op fur'f ba Rnegu naq abg va gur Urnirayl Ernyzf jvgu Pguhyh jurer fur orybatf. guvf frg bss fbzr fvyrag nynez oryyf gb zr nf n puebavpnyyl vyy crefba, op vg vf Fb fvzvyne gb gur Arj Ntr "vaqvtb puvyqera" pbaprcg. n terng qrny bs zrqvpny nohfr naq abezny nohfr fheebhaqf guvf pbaprcg. guvf ernyyl fbherq gur raqvat sbe zr

-

making

fallow week. if it isn't moving-related it isn't happening, and even then a lot of moving-related things are grinding on painfully slowly

[doodlboy]

ANYWAY

*grabs the handful of ppl who liked my hypmic oc post*

It is time.

Under the readmore bc this is probably gonna be an essay

Ok, so note, I literally started making this guy bc I was going to draw him 4 a meme that he's the "excuse me, they asked 4 no pickles" kinda guy and specifically he'd b that guy 4 jyushi who at the time of me making, was older than my oc which is funny 2 me

Anyway ×2

I made moodboards bc im too tired 2 draw detailed stuff rn, his current filler name is Pink, bc of his hair

1 4 his hair ⤵️ & 1 4 his outfit ⤵️

Also, this doodle of me attempting 2 convey the hair I'm thinking of, dunno why he's so desaturated but whatever

His hair is white-blond in the front and a reddish pink in the back, I haven't decided if that's bc of dye or if it's like doppo and hifumi w their two-toned hair.

- street kid who got abandoned by his parents "going traveling" 2 Japan and basically leaving him there 2 fend for himself

- I still need 2 do more research but I'm thinking as far as a division goes, he'd be from Seto Japan bc⤵️

- he almost gets arrested 4 graffiti[ing??] murals & an elderly classical artist [pottery artist maybe since that's a thing in seto] more or less bails him out & takes him in

- the old fella essentially becoming a mentor 2 Pink, teaching him how to express himself of canvas since he had a knack 4 it. Pink doesn't learn all that much in the way of typical schooling tho, so he speaks with a kinda rough accent

- typical mentor story tho, the old fella didn't have any other family and took Pink in like a son so when he eventually passed he left everything 2 him including a little studio where Pink lives

-----------

Anyway×3 idk where go from 2 get 2 these parts of the story

- winds up in Yokohama & makes fast "friends*" w the local yakuza

[*they insult each other a lot of the time, like samatoki calling pink two-toned brat & pink calling samatoki mr.rabbit bc of him being so insistent on ppl calling him honorifics, his stage name Mr. HardCore, & the fact pink thinks he looks like a white rabbit. Despite insults, they actually agree on a lot of things.]

- Pink's rap style is- really erratic tbh, he's good but if u aren't paying attention you will get lost

- Additionally, his rap ability is called "Framed," similar to Jyuto's Prison ability, Pink freezes opponents in paintings of themselves [but the twist is that the paintings r how he sees them so he hardly uses it bc ⤵️]

- He's a bit of tsundere dumbass. Any affection shown is off-handed. "Yeah, whatever, I got your favorite, ya mention it so much it's hard to forget" kind of off-handed. And he has massive respect 4 the other divisions [& since the music from the game exists in canon, he also knows every song very well].

- Which is why he uses his framed ability sparingly, bc it reveals his true emotions, not just 2 the opponent he used it on, but everyone else, too. [Specific ex is samatokis painting being a like- a fuckin fancam type deal, or Rei's painting being actual shit bc he hates deadbeat dads.]

- Anywayx4, he's abt 22/23 & takes the younger members of divisions under his wing since his indifferent 2 all the beef going on between them.

- Esp jyushi bc isth that kid would just not eat if a fast food restaurant fucked up his food, so pink and kuko r the "he asked for no pickles" duo, 1 is quiet & kinda bitchy lookin and the other 1 is loud as hell, but after they fix the food pink still tips em & apologizes 4 kuko yelling sm unintentionally

Anyway ×5 that's all I got rn ty 4 coming 2 my oc tedtalk

[seariii]

9, 13, 22, 25!!! <333

HIIIIII HIIIII SORRY FOR THE WAIT, THANK YOUUUUU ILYYY <3333

9. Best month for you this year?

Hmm... Probably around July? Is when I discovered milgram and I was still at... Work? Doing school practices? Idk how to say it, but yeah, I would take the bus almost for an hour to go and then to come back to my house, and would be my nice little time of letting my mind jump free with music. And the other people that were on my area during that month were lovely and made me feel welcomed!

13. How was your birthday?

... if I remember correctly, this year I made a small dinner on my house, I invited like... 8 people but only like 4 came... I remember I stressed a bit because I didn't know how to entertain them, but ended up putting up the switch and gossiping with them... It was actually really fun!

22. Favorite place you visited?

This one is difficult too because I didn't travel so.... Oh! I went to the lagoon this one time! I've told this story before lmao, about how I was gonna go with a friend and I arrived, but the friend was late, I waited for an hour and got a call from them that the bus left them and they would take like an hour and a half or more, I was being pessimistic so I already had thought of that possibly lmao. At the end, tho, it was nice to feel the cool breeze and watch the sunset, which was the scenery that inspired my Kotoko's bday art. I also bought some Sanrio washitape that someone was selling over there.

25. Did you create any characters?

*evil laughter* OH BOY DID I!! I created Saori, and since I've been outed as a selfshipper/yumeshipper, yes, that was one of her original purposes, the other one was because I love the milgram universe and because [personal information has been redacted] so I wanted to create a character that could fit in, and all that. It's a self insert at the end of the day, except she hasn't gone to therapy. As a fun fact, her first name is my irl name, so I gave her a middle name, Saori, which was the name my parents ALMOST gave me (and by pure coincidence is similar to Seari). But that's like meta information on her....

Her as a character... She is a people pleaser, and always tries to get along with everyone! She is really affectionate and her love language is physical touch, she grew up in Mexico (her father is Mexican) and at first she went on a student exchange to Japan during highschool but decided to stay! So.... In milgram, she really wants to hug people and at first is having such a hard time because she feels lonely being unable to hug anyone (but keeps smiling and stuff), also she knows that the Japanese culture is really different to the Mexican culture, so she struggles a lot with that. Eventually, tho, Mahiru and Mikoto (and probably other ones too) are unlocked as huggable and she feels a little better!!! (For a while at least)

[actuallyitsstar]

jake “hangman” seresin + 12, 21, 22?

✨ send me a number and a character! ✨

omg nonnie hello !!! <3<3 i so so love my boy jake tysm for the ask !!! <3 TW for mentions of child abuse so pls skip if ur not down for that! also this might get long im so sorry 😭 i just have a lot of Thoughts ok 😭

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

i know this is like, decently universal, but there are different versions of it, so i would like to spit out my version with the precursor that i have read a lot of versions of jake's shitty childhood and they are ALL valid and i love them all in their own way so i don't mean this to sound like im tryinna say my headcanon is the only correct way or anything lol.

i do in fact think jake had a really shitty childhood (no surprises im sure). i think for me, it falls somewhere in the realm of overly-critical, under-affectionate, duty-based, act-perfect-for-the-public sort of behavior. the kind of parents who married and had kids out of obligation, bc Thats Just What You Do, but didn't really WANT kids, per se. i think jake has older sisters, and he is absolutely the youngest. he has youngest child syndrome So Bad. he was surprisingly straight-laced, and serious, because he had to be. it's what dear old mom and dad expected. straight As, no fucking around. better not get in trouble, and pay for it if you do.

i think the household might have been just a little bit ~physically abusive~. jake probably got the brunt of it- i think that seresin sr. probably grew bolder with time, and had more frustrations and expectations to push onto a son than onto his daughters. jake would've stood up, too, and lept in front of anything for his sisters, regardless of their age difference or the fact that they probably tried to do the same for him. it was CERTAINLY verbally abusive. nothing's ever good enough, why do you say things like that? don't speak to your father that way. i don't know what you want *me* to do about, if you treated your father with respect he would do the same for you. i think jake's mother sided with her husband often, which is complex, because seresin sr. is an emotionally abusive, uptight asshole, and she's under his thumb too, but she was probably complicit in plenty of it. it's easy to learn to perpetuate something you've known for most of your adult life. she probably married young, and she doesn't know relationships to look any different. it doesn't excuse her behavior, but it does explain.

he learned to do a lot for himself, to be competent in areas that children his age usually aren't. to cook for himself (and his sisters) because no one else was going to do it, some nights, and he was sick of living off of cereal. his sisters teach him how to cover a bruise with makeup one fateful night-before-picture-day, and they regret it later when it becomes an excuse, and jake is able to step in front of them despite their begging him not to, because it's ok, i can fix it before school (so not what they meant jake but ok).

jake probably knew javy in high school, and javy managed to pry jake out of his hardass asshole exterior, just a little. jake is an asshole, because he's learned it's the only way to get attention from his parents (and so what if it's negative attention? he doesn't know the difference). javy is the first person to give jake positive attention and jake doesn't know what to do with it or how to accept it. sometimes when the fighting is very bad at home, jake runs to javy's for a while, but he always goes back home to take his punishment sooner than javy or javy's parents would like, because he is afraid of leaving his sisters alone at home for too long with his parents.

eventually, tho, they are old enough to escape, and that means that jake is right on their heels. they check in as often as they can and things are the worst they've ever been for the years between his next oldest sister's departure and the day he turns 18. but when he does, he and javy enlist together. jake tells his parents, against his wishes. somehow it is another thing for his father to be angry about. his mother cries and cries, as if she's ever cared for his well-being before. for the first time, jake hits his father back. all the way to annapolis, he sports a black eye covered by makeup, and prays to the God of the church he was forced to attend in a suit acting presentable each sunday but does not believe in, that seresin sr. is not somewhere in texas right now talking to the police, ruining jake's chance at true freedom before it's even begun.

he must not be, because nothing ever comes of it. jake does not speak to his parents again.

if like all of this ends up in a fic in like idk 6 months or something. dont @ me. akdhfdjfghfjf it probably will even tho i have a wip list a mile long help aaaaaa

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

i have only (publicly) written for jake once, in the first half of chapter twenty-one of time takes no prisoners (you'll see), so that is my ticket to answering this lol. just know that i plan to write plenty for jake in the future, i am just swamped with mav dad and brad brad wips atm lol

i think my favorite thing about writing for jake is walking that exact line between being an absolute asshole and being a normal person, and the way that jake is somehow both entirely self aware of it, and entirely oblivious to it at the same time. the contrast between the things he thinks in his pov, and the things he says aloud, are also everything. his pov is one of my favorites in this fandom (tho ofc i have loved every pov i have written so far !!!) bc he's just so.... him. so much sharp and so much snark but so much heart too, if you can get to it. so much unresolved and unacknowledged childhood trauma manifesting all over the place. rip to jake but it's everything for me as the author lol.

one thing that sucks about this as the author tho is needing to BE these things on some level to write them. like im supposed to be witty and charming in this google doc rn ??????? say sike 😭 i spend a lot of time staring at an empty page when i get to jake's dialogue bc i can internal monologue all day long but when he has to be witty out loud its OVER for me lol

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

I GUESS THIS SHOULD COME AS NO SURPRISE. but i love the mav-accidentally-adopting-jake-kind-of trope. it is like. my FAVORITE genre of jake fic. its so multi layered too, because mav has had this fractured relationship with bradley for so long and is still struggling to fix it with him, and now here's jake, and why is jake gravitating to mav so much???? mav just does whatever comes natural in the moment, and i think it's like. kind of part of it, in a way. not a big one, but i think mav gets to interact in this way with jake and gets to A. remember how to do it, and B. remind himself that he is capable. and C. i think jake reminds mav of himself at that age and he has some inherent instinct trying to stop the crash that he sees coming. the idea of jake never having been shown like, just regular kindness or understanding from a parental-coded individual and respecting mav a lot in his career, and then after the mission its awkward bc its like oh shit. this is roosters dad basically???? thats fucking weird. and the next thing you know you are hanging out with roosters dad on the weekends when rooster is deployed and you are not ?????? what is going ON. WHY does he speak nicely to me. why does he praise certain things that i do. why does he listen attentively to things that i say. why does he keep trying to hug me when i am leaving. what is this strange interaction.

that being said, i think we all agree jake has some kind of unresolved childhood trauma, and i LOVE to see him have to face it, but sometimes it can just... go too far. i think something i don't like seeing happen to jake in fic is if he kind of.... gets his sharp edges rounded down??? or like, his claws filed away??? jake is a fully grown adult man, who HAS parents out there somewhere in some worlds, or HAD them in others, and he is bold and brash and sharp and quick-tongued. it's easy to reduce him to kind of an extreme position emotionally, and don't get me wrong. i love to put my blorbos in extreme emotional situations. but idk. i think with jake especially its hard to imagine him in a soft situation, and we have a tenancy to warp his character, or make him too teary, too honest, too direct, too sad. for me i feel like the sweet spot is right in the middle, trying to make sure he stays a little depressed and a little angry with himself all the time and a lot disillusioned, while still staying flippant and charming and evasive. it's easy to bend the character to fit the situation instead of the situation to fit the character, but it's important, i feel, to try and do the latter and not the former, with any character, but especially jake, in this fandom.

THANK U SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO RAMBLE NONNIE......i hope u enjoyed and i didnt bore u too much akdhdjdhfjf. i love jake and i love u. that is all. 💕

[rosecoloredtease]

18. Do you want children?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Baths or showers?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

28. What type of music do you like?

18. Do you want children?

YESSSS - at least one biological if possible? 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 I just want to be the best dad ever for a little half me peanut. That being said, I don't mind being an adoptive or step dad tho 😊😊

I'll be the best adoptive parent and/or step dad EVER 😊😊😊

19. Do you want a church wedding?

It depends on what my partner ultimately wants. I personally don't, I just don't want it to feel strict or non-inclusive.

20. Are you religious?

I do believe in Jesus Christ, in fact, I think He's my best friend so I consider myself a Christian 😊😊

However, I do not align myself to any denominations.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes? I think four times? Once when I had a high fever and they placed me in a tub. Another, staples.ij my head. Visiting my grandpa after open heart surgery. And lastly when I was at a suicidal watch.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

NOPE. Well I did get a ticket for parking in a handicap spot 😭😞

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Nah

24. Baths or showers?

No joke - I just got out of taking a bath with a bath bomb I found!!! But it depends!! If I feel like relaxing a bit, I go the bath route 👍🏽

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

nopeee

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I just want to be rich enough to donate to those in need.

28. What type of music do you like?

I really don't know how to describe my music taste but here ya go!!

Spotify said Pop was my # 1 tho

—

Thank you so much for the asks!! I appreciate them!!

[rai-knightshade]

6, 22, 23, 30!!

Thanks for the ask Missy!

Music ask game:

6: A song you've had on repeat lately

Right now I think it's gotta be the Glee cover of Silly Love Songs, but Memories by P!atD is close behind! (Not even a full month into January and I'm already skewing my Spotify wrapped irreparably 🤣)

22: a song you can't stand by an artist you like

....god. do I even have one?? Nothing's coming to mind or sticking out when I think of my faves, like. I haven't listened to all of Taylor's discography yet but I've liked basically everything I've heard and don't actively hate any of it (...or at least not her parts of it); I can think of maybe one tentative example for Rybak but objectively I haven't actually listened to the song cause I couldn't get past the thumbnail for it (it's a YouTube video exclusive cause it's actually a parody song); KEiiNO is chill, Pink Floyd, Def Leppard, Journey, they're all pretty much bangers only....

I think my answer's gonna have to be two songs that mostly fit the bill, in that I didn't necessarily enjoy listening to them and haven't really listened after like the first time I heard them, and that's either I Don't Wanna Live Forever by ZAYN and Taylor Swift (not because of Taylor's parts tho she sounds great, I just can't stand the falsetto Zayn is in for most of it, especially during the chorus--he sounds so sharp or like. Brittle? and it just becomes a Bad Sound Texture™ for me) or Viva Las Vengeance by Brendon Urie (yes its technically the lead single for the last album he released as P!atD, but considering the shit show that went down with it and the fact that I'm petty and didn't like the song when I listened to it, like, at all, enough that I straight up haven't listened to the rest of the album when I've listened to and own every other Panic! album... Yeah I'm divorcing this one from Panic!, sorry Urie this one's on you.)

23: a song you remember liking as a kid

Hmm... I could use House at Pooh Corner again (a staple of mine for musical ask games), buuuttttt.... Nah, actually I'm bringing in a REAL throwback: She Loves You, but specifically the remastered Alvin and the Chipmunks version from the 2007 Greatest Hits album (Still Squeaky After All These Years). I wore that CD out as a kid when I had a CD player, and when the players kept breaking and my parents gave me a hand-me-down MP3 player this was one of the first albums my dad added for me. Honestly most of these songs could be used (I was particularly fond of If You Love Me (Alouette) as well) but She Loves You seemed like the most solid option.

30: a song that makes you nostalgic

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson (to date I consider this my Childhood Favorite Song, not to be confused with my Teenage Favorite Song or Early 20's Favorite Song, because no I can't choose just one favorite song, are you kidding??)