#the friendships in that story are so pure and well nurtured

[torgawl]

if you call himmel pathetic i'm throwing hands at you. himmel showed the purest form of love for frieren and you guys think that's pathetic? what's pathetic is not respect other people's feelings or boundaries and acting like people owe you anything just because you like them. himmel was happy to have a friendship with frieren within her own conditions just because he genuinely enjoyed her as part of his life. he was happy to wait for her for his entire life is he had to but he also never stopped living for himself. that's fucking beautiful. loving someone so much you are able to let them go, not wanting to change who they are or impose anything on them? unconditionally, nonetheless? that's the point of life.

[hunnylagoon]

Right Where You Left Me

Pt1: Coming Down With Me

Ellie Williams x reader

I once met a girl with skin like kiwi. Even the butterflies were drawn to her, landing on the top of her nose, the dip in her palm. But the kiwi stung my tongue, scarred my lips and made me bleed. I do not care. Cover me in your kiwi kisses, burn my mouth and scar my flesh. Bleach my eyes and dip my heart in lemon juice. Sing your sickly sweet words until my ears bleed.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood best friends until you grew up. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / people are mean lol / best friends to enemies to lovers / roommate! Ellie

Part two here!

Part three here!

Part four here!

I know everything about you,

You know everything about me.

I had always been bound to the earth while Ellie danced with the stars in the night sky among delusion and dreams. Though, more so than anything, we were bound to one another.

Our parents were friends, even before we were born. They met at summer camp when they were teenagers, the same camp that Ellie and I were eventually shipped off to every summer. Of course, I have no recollection of when I was an infant, only stories that my parents shared with me; My dad told me that I learned to crawl backwards before I learned to crawl forwards. Joel kept a photo album of his girl.

I can't remember days of crawling around and babbling incoherently, but I can tell you what I remember.

Five years old- Kindergarten

Despite the air being unbearable hot, it was infused with excitement as Ellie and me set foot in the petting zoo. I had never seen so many animals in one place, my little brain was going nuts. Accompanied by the gentle hum of content animals, the aroma of straw, and the distant melody of joyful chatter, the petting zoo rang true to its rustic charm.

Ellie, with her auburn curls bouncing in the breeze, led the way, her eyes widened at the sight of a fluffy alpaca lazily grazing in the sunshine. I giggled as we approached a pen filled with adorable piglets, their tiny snouts sniffing the pure air far away from the dirty stench of the city.

Our parents, watching with affectionate smiles, guided us to the lamb enclosure where soft, woolly creatures nuzzled against tiny palms. Ellie's fingers gently traced the contours of a lamb's ear, and she couldn't resist a delighted squeal as she felt the velvety nose of a goat.

As the afternoon sun cast a warm glow on the scene, the families strolled through the meandering paths, passing by a pond where ducks quacked merrily. Ellie and I, hand in loveable hand, marvelled at the wonders of the animal kingdom, our hearts brimming with the pure joy of discovery and a blooming friendship.

Seven years old- Grade Two

On this particular day, Ellie and I had been messing around in her backyard; that's all we did on the weekends at that age, you couldn't get us to go inside. We spent the morning entwined in daffodils and hyacinth that Joel has so tenderly nurtured, careful not to crush the dainty flowers beneath our wild flailing bodies. 

We had the brilliant idea to paint rocks so we had been searching her yard for the perfect flat stones we had in mind. Ellie picked up a rock and immediately threw it back down, jumping away with a shriek.

This had piqued my curiosity (As well as Joels who sat on the back porch, watching us), I went over to where she stood petrified and found nothing more than a little snake staring up at her. I dropped the stones I had been carrying and bent over to get a better look at it, it was brown and had a few white vertical stripes cascading up its thin body. 

I slowly moved my hand outwards to touch but was swiftly interrupted by Joel scooping me up "That's enough of that kiddo." 

Nine years old- Grade Four

Joel's house garnered an expansive backyard and just past the old fence that Ellie and I had thrown one too many softballs at was a lush forest. I would always clamour up the wood fence and poke my little head over it to try and gather a glimpse of wildlife, Ellie usually had to give me a little boost. "Hold still!" She hissed with her arms wrapped around my torso to help lift me, my scrawny arms shook as I tried to pull myself up even further.

The wood rot of the ancient fence finally set in and with the both of us pressing our mighty weight against it collapsed with the fence. We heard the splitting of wood, I got the worst end of the stick, toppling over and putting my hands out to protect myself. I could've sworn that I heard my wrist break like a crunch.

While I did what felt like a three-sixty frontflip over the fence just for my small head to come down on the end of it with a solid smack, Ellie had just flopped on top of it, green eyes widening in shock when she saw my once straight arm now had an abnormal bump coming out from my wrist. "What's wrong with your hand?"

"I don't know I'm probably dying!" I screamed as loud as my voice could carry, that was the first time I had felt adrenaline run through my veins. "You killed me!"

"No, I didn't!" She retorted, scrambling off the fence and back up to her feet. She was clad in a Jurassic Park T-shirt that she practically was swimming in and those pink and orange plaid Bermuda shorts that any kid in the 2000s owned. "Dad!" Ellie yelled, calling for Joel.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and finally, I released the sob that had been building up in my throat. She was almost dumbstruck and just ended up kneeling and wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She muttered.

10 years old- Grade Five

Ellie had been practicing guitar the entire time I was at her house, Joel had gifted her his old guitar and she was so set on perfecting every cord, every half-hour she would ask for a song recommendation and then flip through the songbook she got to find it.

I was curled up in her bed reading The Hunger Games over again "Els, are you team Peeta or Gale?" I was always at Ellie's house, mine was too busy all the time; I had three siblings, Naomi and Aaron who were twins and two years younger than me and my brother Elijah who was three years older than me. I loved going to her house on Saturdays so I could sleep in and wriggle my way out of going to church. Even though her house was right across the street from mine and my parents would bang on Joel's door, he always covered for me.

"Uh," She was distracted by something in her songbook "Team Katniss?"

I nod in approval to myself as she isn't paying attention "You know who Gale reminds me of?" I ask and without Ellie giving me a response I answer anyway "Luke, I think I kind of like him."

Those are the words that get her to look at me "Ew, he's so weird."

"He's nice to me."

She wrinkles her nose in distaste then shrugs, returning to her guitar which sits awardly in her scrawny frame.

12 years old- Grade Seven

"Fuck!" I yell, kicking the grimy green dumpster in the graffiti-covered ally out of anger, though I kicked it a little too hard now my foot hurts I refuse to admit it "Fuck I hate them!"

Ellie leans against the brick wall on the opposite side of the alley, our bikes discarded on the ground while I hopelessly rant to my friend about my parents. She doesn't say much, just little nods of agreement. My parents had caught me skipping church and they laid into me, saying that I had no respect for them or god and whether that was true or not didn't matter, I was full of pre-teen angst and needed to call my friend to go for a bike ride around town.

"She fucking tore my room apart, I never see them get mad at Aaron or Naomi!" I drag my hands down my face before I look back at the dumpster and kick it again "Ow, cunt!" I'm now hopping on one foot while my knee bends my other leg and I hold my beaten red Converse, covered in doodles, to soothe the pain of my poor toes. It's moments like this that remind me why I love Ellie, because as stupid as I look hobbling around and cussing, she doesn't laugh at me even though I know she wants to.

After a little bit of me aimlessly yelling I finally wind down. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to remember those breathing exercises that we were taught at school assemblies. "Thanks for listening to me talk shit, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," She shrugs "I've seen you do worse."

This cracks a smile on my face, I turn my head and am met with the Jackson skyline, a beautiful pink sunset on the horizon "Sun's setting," I say.

"Sleepover?" Ellie asks.

"Sleepover," I confirm.

13 years old- Grade Eight

We were thirteen when our parents shoved cash into our hands and dropped us at the mall to go back to school shopping by ourselves for the first time. Every parent's nightmare was a busy mall so when they figured us old enough to venture into the dreaded foodcourt on our own, believed they were taking that opportunity. 

Ellie had bought a couple of T-shirts and hoodies here and there, not too particular about what she was buying, though I was very nit-picky over what I wore so I forced Ellie to judge every single outfit that I wore and rate it, she gave the same answer every single time "It looks fine."

"Cool but I don't wanna look fine, I wanna look pretty," I say in frustration, walking back into the dressing room to try on another outfit. Ellie is sitting in the fitting room on a pink velvet couch, arms crossed and waiting for me to finish. "How's this?" I ask, walking out of the changing stall and giving her a little twirl.

"It looks fine- I mean good, everything looks good on you." She sounds almost exasperated. Ellie's hair was still that vibrant auburn colour that my mother was obsessed with, it had yet to fade out into a duller brown with age.

"Really?" I perk up just the slightest.

"Yeah, you look really pretty." She gives me a little nod of confirmation. I know that she's only saying that because she wants to go to the food court and get a cinnamon bun but I believe her anyway.

14 years old- Grade Nine

We were just nearing the end of the second half of our soccer game. It was the tournament and we were only a point away from placing first in the league, the thought of it had kept me up all week I was running off of Subway sandwiches and Gatorade. 

Riley (the midfielder) swiftly passed the ball to me before she was surrounded by the other team's defence, I looked up to the clock and there were only seconds left in the match. I let my instincts take over, my parents forcing me into soccer since elementary school was not going to wind up useless. My footwork took me up the right wing just before the penalty box. 

I wasn't paying enough attention to notice the tall blonde girl in a slick back ponytail closing in on me. I hear Ellie shout my name and that's all I need to make this last pass, I barely even looked up before power-driving the ball to Ellie who was merely six metres away from me. I slipped onto the muddied field with that kick, watching Ellie waste no time to score our final goal the second her cleat touched the ball. 

The clock deadlocks and I drag myself off the ground running towards my best friend, I jump on her almost taking her down with me though she manages to steady herself. "I fucking love you!" I scream hugging her with all of the force I can muster. She hugs me in return, unable to get any words out between her laughs. The team is quick to swarm us, everyone is shouting about our well-deserved victory but not one person is louder than Joel in the stands.

15 years old- Grade Ten

Snow was falling as I stood in the foyer of the high school, still waiting for my date for the winter formal to arrive. Conner had asked me out weeks ago, we hadn't talked much since though I just figured that was because he was shy. I even left school early to get ready and spent hours meticulously pinning every hair into place and adjusting my navy blue satin dress so it would drape across my body in just the right way.

My sister, Naomi was an aspiring makeup artist so I let her dust my eyelids in silver glitter, I forced Warren to drive me. All of that was just for me to get stood up. Conner hadn't texted me all day, I knew he wasn't coming that didn't stop me from forcing denial on myself. "Hey," I heard a soft voice sound behind me, I wasn't surprised to see Ellie. Even though our parents were no longer friends, we were close as ever.

"Hi," My voice was hushed and feeble.

"The dance started an hour ago," She said, that night she had been wearing a white button-up with a pair of jeans and her hair half up. It was clear the dance wasn't as big a deal to her as it was to me. All she had done was ask Riley to go with her and call it a day. Despite her lack of effort, she looks beautiful as ever "I don't think he's coming," She said bluntly.

That's the exact moment I felt myself crack, tears welled up in my eyes and I lurched forward to hug her, flailing my arms helplessly to search for comfort "Then why did he ask me to go with him?" My sobs were drowned out by the sound of Kesha blasting in the overcrowded gym.

"I don't know, but he's an idiot for standing you up," Ellie holds me close and I never want her to let go "I wouldn't have ever done that to you."

16 years old- Grade Eleven

This is where things begin to fall apart. I found Ellie on the back porch of some random guy's house at a party. "I figured I would find you out here," I say, taking a seat next to her on the wooden steps, I hug my knees close to my chest.

"What's up?" Beside me, Ellie is unnervingly calm, she nurses a joint, taking a long hit and letting the smoke turn to clouds. 

"Conner kissed me," I say cutting to the chase

I can tell she doesn't like the thought, she hated Conner, ever since he stood me up at the winter formal but she bites her tongue "You guys gonna date?"

"I think so."

"Good for you."

"I don't know if I liked it," My eyebrows are furrowed, and I pull my knees in even further, inhaling the crisp autumn air and the smell of Ellie, she smells like cannabis, firewood and bar soap. 

"What do you mean?" Ellie puts out the end of her joint and tucks what remains of it into an empty Altoids container.

"Nothing," I dismiss it, "It doesn't matter, I just wanted to talk to you," Ellie had softened every burden for me since we were girls. "Um, so, my parents are sending me to boarding school next year."

"No, they're not-

"They are."

Ellie doesn't seem so calm anymore, she adjusts her body to face mine and she's so close I swear to god I could've counted every freckle on her face. "Why, what did you do?" The way she looks at me makes me wish that she was a boy.

"Nothing!" I retort "They think I'm straying from god, it's a Christian school." That was my code for 'they think I have a crush on you and I rather not get disowned by my super religious parents!'

"come stay with me and Joel-

"Ellie, please," I place a hand on her thigh "I don't think I can get away from this one."

That was at the end of September, it only got worse from there. I partially wished that I didn't tell Ellie that I had to leave, every time we hung out it just felt like words were hanging between us like birds on a wire and neither of us could say what we wanted. I forced myself to distance myself from her, I didn't know how else to handle my feelings. 

She would blow up my phone and come by my house even visit my work but I just told her that I was busy. I could tell that she didn't believe my excuses for a second, she had English with my new boyfriend, Conner and would get him to relay messages and notes to me.

It didn't get easier to ignore her, my family prying about where she had been. I never told my parents that Ellie was gay, though I know they had always had a suspicion and that's why they could never love her all the way completely, the way Joel loved me and looked out for me. My mom and dad liked that I swapped out Ellie for Conner, by February, my dad even started to call him son. 

In March Ellie and I had stopped talking completely, she gave up on texting me and coming by my house just for my siblings to lie about my whereabouts. It hurt to see the resentment gleam in her eye every time she passed me in the hallway. 

She didn't speak a word to me until the start of the summer bonfire which was custom in our town. If I had known she would be there I never even would have thought about going. I rather not rehash this awful night, not right now just know that it ended with some alcohol, a bit of blood in the sand and me telling Ellie 'I would pick him over you every single time.' Yikes, that's not a good look for me. I spent the rest of my summer burying her in the back of my mind until boarding school finally came upon me and I graduated with friends I didn't like in a place that didn't feel like home. 

I was sixteen then now I'm nineteen, no longer a girl but not yet a woman. Those were some key moments of our friendship. I'm not so sure why I felt so mature at the age of sixteen. I had taken a gap year and loved every minute of it, I backpacked in Australia, worked as a camp counsellor in the summer then left to work at a turtle conservatory in Bali, I was making pennies but the experience was worth it. 

I arrived at my new home sunkissed with Ellie far in the back of my mind. I didn't know much about who I would be rooming with, I had only spoken to Dina over a Zoom call who was a friendly girl with warm eyes and ink-black hair spilling over her shoulders. I just prayed that none of them were Craigslist killers.

It took me entirely too long to find parking, when I finally did, I grabbed two of my suitcases, unable to hold anything else, the rest of the boxes jammed into my car would have to wait. I read over the text that Dina sent me what seemed to be a million times to make sure I had the right address. It was a small-ish one-story flat with brown walls that had white accents along corners and the doorway with a wood-panelled gable roof. As far as college housing went, I was happy. It looked like something I would've made in the Sims when I was a teenager. 

I walk to the front door, the entrance is framed by intricately carved moulding, its details telling a story of craftsmanship and tradition. The wood, polished to a warm, inviting glow, exudes a sense of richness and history. I knocked on the door and heard a voice shouting that she would get it.

The door swings open and I'm met face to face with Dina "Hey!" She smiled "It's nice to meet you, I think you'll like it here," She held the door wide open, motioning for me to go in, and I obliged. "Let me give you a tour." Dina is clad in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and her hair has been pulled back into a messy ponytail.

The layout of the house seemed somewhat odd to me, there was a corridor straight ahead when you walked in, the first room was the laundry room and contained the washer and dryer with some hampers and shelves of detergent and laundry freshener. "This is the laundry room, we have a wash schedule along with a chore schedule so we will put you on that tonight," Dina told me, I just nodded politely in response feeling a little too awkward and out of place to say anything. 

"Alright so this is the kitchen, there's a half bathroom beside it," She says, swinging her arms wide open for exaggeration I can see the chore chart hanging on the walls, it's written in chalk, and it is the laundry schedule. There are little laminated tags with each person's name on them, though I can't quite make out the names from where I am standing. The fridge is covered in postcards, magazine cutouts, polaroids, and bright magnets of papayas and flowers, I automatically assumed this was Dina despite not knowing the other roommates. The kitchen is open with no walls to hide it, the oven and dishwasher are built into counters against the walls as well as the sink which i spotless at the moment, there isn't a dining table but a kitchen island with stools. Past the island you can see the living room, there are two grey couches with decorative pillows and fuzzy throw blankets, a coffee table that looked handcrafted with care and of course a TV. 

Have I mentioned there are plants everywhere? Like everywhere. "Okay, so," Dina keeps on moving and I trail behind with my suitcases, over there is my room and Cat's and Abby's," She points to the left of the living room where there is a short hallway with three doors, one on each wall of it. "There's Cat now," She waves at her roommate.

Cat is relatively tall, she has black hair that's tied into a bun, and she's wearing plaid pyjama pants and a black tank top, I can see her abundance of tattoos. She has one sleeve of laurel cascading up her arm and the other is patchwork done right, each separate piece blends almost seamlessly into the next. "I like your tattoos," I say, not wanting to sit in any more silence.

She grins at me "Thanks, love," I nod in response to her, Cat looks down at the suitcases that I'm lugging around "Dina, take this poor girl to her room already."

"I was just getting there," Dina teases and motions for me to follow her "So over here is the bathroom and of course your room, I left your copy of the house key on your mattress," She opens it up. The bedroom is completely blank aside from the boxed bedframe, shelf, vanity and mattress that I had to send over prior. There's a built-in closet in the wall. 

I put my suitcases on the ground "I'm gonna grab the rest of my stuff from my car," I offer up a tight-lipped smile.

"Wait a second," She takes my hand and then knocks on the bedroom door parallel to mine. "I'm coming in!" Dina announces pushing the door open, there's a brunette girl hunched over her desk. My breath hitches in my throat when she turns around "This is Ellie."

I can see the panic that momentarily takes over Ellie when she spots me before it's replaced by a false coolness, "Hey," She says before turning back to her laptop and putting her headphones back on. It felt like my heart had shut down, why the fuck did I sign the lease?

"Sorry," Dina shuts Ellie's door "She's not the friendliest of the bunch but she'll warm up to you eventually," Dina walks to the front door with you Abby should be around here somewhere."

I had gotten so frustrated trying to set up my bed frame that I sheepishly left my room and asked for help, god bless Abby. She was putting everything together so easily, I watched her in awe as she finished adding the final screw to my bedframe. "Want help setting up the mattress?"

"Yes, please," I say, I grab one end of the mattress while Abby gets the other, she tells me to lift on three and I listen, she carries the majority of the weight but it still feels like an accomplishment on my part. "So does everyone here go to Northridge?"

"Yeah, except for Cat, she's a tattoo apprentice."

"Cool, cool," I search for words, "What are you majoring in?"

"Kinesiology," It makes sense, I could've called that by looking at the fit gym rat who was now sitting on my bed. "You?"

"Wildlife biology,"

"So you like animals and conservation and stuff?"

"Mhm," I nod "It's honestly kind of hard to not have any animals in my life." I was missing all my pets back home, when I wasn't with them I was working at a conservatory or at a summer camp where I took care of all of the horses, and Ellie's dog, Achilles.

"You'll get used to it, living with Dina is the same thing as living with an animal," She smiles and for the first time, I feel comfortable. Abby watching me with her blue eyes as I begin to unpack my abundance of boxes, I kind of just dump everything onto the ground because I can't remember which box has what, the first thing I search for are my coat hangers. I dump out a box with a bible, wall cross, and rosery and golden cross necklace from a box of random knickknacks. "You religious?"

"Kind of?" I question it myself "Not really, it's just my family, I packed that stuff to make my mom happy."

Abby nods "I get it."

"You do?"

She backtracks "No, but I can try to."

I shake my head, "I wouldn't try if I were you, I spent nineteen years trying to get away from it." I was sure other Christian homes were healthy but mine wasn't one of them, the way my parents obsessed over Jesus was honestly frightening.

"Hey, do you wanna come watch a movie when your done unpacking?" Abby asked, "Get to know your new roommates a little better."

I don't entirely want to, I wasn't ready to talk to Ellie. I still hadn't wrapped my head around the fact that I was living with her and that she was pretending she didn't know me, despite this, my words betrayed me "For sure."

I sat on one of the couches beside Abby, I made myself as small as I could, thinking that maybe I could make myself disappear. Cat and Ellie crammed themselves on the other while Dina took the plush armchair. I felt so out of place everyone here had relationships, I had one with Ellie before I severed it 'Grown Ups' was playing on the flatscreen though it seemed I was the only one paying attention.

The four girls all laughed and talked their way through the movie, Abby, Cat, and Dina would ask me a question here and there but I didn't know them well enough to pitch in. I kept telling myself that I needed to push through, if Spiderman could do it, so could I.

I didn't even finish the movie, halfway through I excused myself saying I was tired which wasn't necessarily a lie. It was difficult to fathom how well Ellie was playing it off, acting like she never met me. I walk into the bathroom, clean towel in hand, ready to scrub off the stress of today. Beside the mirror, I see a cardstock poster decorated with bright markers and doodles.

HOUSE RULES

#1 No underwear left in the bathroom

#2 Wash your dishes

#3 Break it? Tell Abby

#4 No smoking inside

#5 Privates are private!

#6 Pls don't drink and drive (We have a couch)

#7 Give your beloved roommates a heads up before having someone over

#8 This is a residence of women so the seat goes down!!!

#9 Respect the bedrooms

#10 Having sex? Keep it quiet

#11 NO DRAMA!!!!!!!!

#12 Follow chore and wash chart

#13 Don't eat what's not yours! (Without asking)

I finish reading the last bit and mutter to myself  "Wasn't planning on it." I run the water so hot that it feels cold and I'm quick to not use all of the hot water and have my roommates hate me on my first night here. Everyone has their little drawers in the bathroom, mine is empty aside from some floss and cotton pads that the girl before me left behind. I make a mental note to make use of my bathroom drawer tomorrow and fill it with makeup remover or conditioner, or something like that.

Brushing my teeth and wrapping myself in a strawberry towel that I had purchased at a craft fair, I open the bathroom door, I can see the light of the TV and the sound of chatter from the living room. However, I ignore it and make a B-line to my bedroom. Even though I had spent hours unpacking and pinning up posters it still didn't seem homey.

I slip into shorts and a t-shirt, leaving my hair as is and throw myself onto my bed. My towel is discarded onto my bathroom floor. When I turn on my phone I am bombarded my messages from my parents, my mother has probably sent me twelve Google pins to the closest churches, I answer her with a thumb-up emoji and settle into my bed to scroll through social media and see how much fun all of my friends are having. 

Fucking Ellie. She's plaguing my thoughts, I think of what I said to her and it makes me cringe, I want to smother myself with my satin pillow. I don't even have food to eat, grocery shopping wasn't something that I put on my priority list and right about now I was but Ellie, god, why was I such a dick? Because I didn't know what else to do- whatever, I was a scared teenager. What would you have done? Probably kiss her you lesbo.

Lord, it makes me sick to think about what could've been.

15 years old- Grade Ten

Ellie and I were sitting at a fire pit at her uncle Tommy's lake house. It was a Fourth of July party except we were the only teenagers there; everyone else was friends of Tommy and Maria or some distant relatives of Ellie's or children of said people.

After five years of practicing day and night, Ellie had just about mastered the acoustic guitar, she played and I sang, wrapped up in her flannel, I was tucked close next to her. 

She struck every cord perfectly and I began to sing absentmindedly, the song that had been carved into my brain. Ellie looked so insanely beautiful illuminated only by fire and the stars that hung in the sky, if it hadn't been a sin I would've kissed her.

Talking to her felt as holy as praying to god but I knew it was as sinful as worshipping the devil. 

If it was so wrong why was I born in God's image?

Her gentle hand strummed on the chords of the guitar, the same calloused hand that had once turned water into wine. Her laughter was the sound of a church choir 

I wish I told her how much I liked her but what would've happened if I did? What would my parents think, they would kill me. 

Part of me didn't care how my parents would react, if I spoke up, I could say goodbye to my inheritance and having college paid for. Maybe that was an unfair assumption to make on my part. Ugh. FUCK, I don't know, let's get to the next part of the story.

I couldn't sleep that night, I thought maybe a glass of water would soothe me, well I didn't really think that but I was hungry and thirsty and water was the only thing in that house I had the right to ingest. I figured that I could fill myself with water and zip to Denny's in the morning then grab some groceries.

Poking my head out of my door, I checked to see if anyone was still awake before gingerly taking hushed steps towards the kitchen, I was trying to be as light as Thumbelina. I hadn't noticed Ellie bumming on the couch, scrolling through her phone. 

"You cooking all of that non-existent food you brought?" She jeered. Oh, now she wanted to talk to me.

"I was gonna have some warm water soup for dinner and chew on pistachio shells from the cup holder in my car for dessert," I answer "I'm treating myself tonight." She didn't think it was funny at all, a few years ago she would've been cackling at my subpar joke, but now she just seemed unamused. "Sheesh, tough crowd."

She stays silent.

"You used to think I was funny," I say.

"I also used to think the tooth fairy was real."

"Harsh," I mutter. Turning the tap on and sticking a finger underneath it to test the temperature. I put my hummingbird mug underneath it and let it fill. "Hey, Ellie," She doesn't answer "Have you told them any bad things about me?"

She nearly scoffs "No, believe it or not, I don't talk about you, I don't even think about you," There's venom in her voice "You haven't crossed my mind since you walked through that door."

"Why are you pretending you don't know me-

"Because I don't fucking like you," She says it like it's so obvious and it honestly is in this moment "Just because you're pretty and you act like a sweet little Christain girl, that doesn't mean shit."

"I'm not trying to act like anything-

"Yeah, well it seems pretty insincere to me," Ellie seethed and I could feel a sting in my heart, I would do some pretty horrendous things for a time machine right about now.  I can tell that there won't be any salvaging for this, she hates me to death and rightfully so. 

This is where I give up "Okay, sorry," I grab my hummingbird mug and retreat to my room.

I endured four months of that.

Ellie was pushed to the back of my mind while I ran through classes and got a job as a waitress at a stake house. I did everything in my power to keep myself busy, to keep her out of my head but she was always there, she hung around like a song I can't shake, like I'm haunted by the melody. 

Some nights when the city decides to quiet down I can hear her play guitar, and I'll quietly hum along to it. Songs she used to sing for me, she now sings for another woman, another soul. I knew that she had girls over, but I never got to meet them as Ellie did everything in her power to pretend I didn't exist.

The only communication I got with her was in the roommate's group chat, and it was always brief.

Ellie: Having a friend over tomorrow night

D-manz: Friend? With benefits??????????

Kit-Cat: Nah they're hardly even friends, just benefits

Abs: Don't get her pregnant

Me: 👍

As long as I was with the girls, Ellie was not. She avoided me like the plague, it was like she despised my existence. If we go clubbing, she takes a separate taxi, petty if you ask me. The girls knew something happened between us but they couldn't pinpoint what it was. It was Dina's conspiracy that Ellie used to date one of my friends and broke her heart. While I bonded with Cat, Dina, and Abby, Ellie would pretend to like me. She would occasionally laugh at my jokes or ask how my shift was when Dina was in the room. 

Trust me when I say I would rather forget than dwell on it but it was impossible. I know that I'm nothing more than an obstacle to her, a stain on her bedsheets, a sore in her mouth, but she was still my diamond in the rough. I will willingly ignore all of her cutthroat words and her jagged edges. 

Because I know everything about us.

[waywardsummoner46]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Sink Into the Darkness, My Light | One | ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

"Join us, my Light."

Two centuries ago, the ruler of the Light disappeared, plunging the universe into chaos and disrupting the sacred, unspoken balance of the universe.

The eight rulers of the Darkness never stopped looking for her; their obsession never once waning since she vanished.

Recently, they've sensed something. Never around long enough to pinpoint but so euphoric that it sings within their veins. And since meeting you, well... slowly they begin to understand why.

"Sink into the darkness with us."

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

「✦」 PAIRING - yandere ot8!ateez x (?)reader

「✦」 GENRE - ancient gods!au, fantasy!au, magical powers!au

「✦」 WARNINGS - mind control, gaslighting, dom/sub, subspace (of a sort), temporary amnesia, manipulation, YANDERE AND DARK THEMES

「✦」 WORD COUNT - 4,343

「✦」 A/N - Long time no see, huh...

「✦」 TAGLIST - Let me know if you'd like to be added :)

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

• one • two • three •

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

“Oh, Ji-Ah! You really didn’t have to, you know.”

   Holding your phone up to your ear, your eyes twinkled as they beheld the gifts your friend had gotten you.

  “Of course I didn’t have to, but it’s your birthday and I… I wanted to.” 

  She quietened towards the end of her sentence, and your heart clenched at the sincerity of the gifts and her words.

  “Ji-Ah…”

  Whilst you were at work that day, she must’ve used her spare key to your apartment and placed all of these presents on your living room table. The book you had been raving over for the past few months was sitting in a brand new giant teddy bear’s lap, all decorated and styled with a bow. A now-opened card sat neatly to their side, a picture of you both from a few years ago on its cover and the sweetest message inside. 

  As much as you appreciated everything and made sure to verbalise that gratitude to her, you both knew that the book was what held your attention the most. You had spent literal months searching for it, ‘The Hidden War Within.’

  When you’d first mentioned it to Ji-Ah, she’d laughed and asked if it was some sort of mindfulness, positive psychology type book. You’d dismissed her playfully, stating that she wasn’t necessarily incorrect but ignored the actual content of the book. ‘The Hidden War Within’ is a novel by a collection of authors over the course of centuries; it’s written from the first person perspective and tells the tale of a lady, every time, who aims to nurture the goodness in people and minimise the evil that could fester. The antagonist, a male whose origins vary, actively dismisses her aims, instead wishing to incite sin and discourse within the people of the land. The  descriptions of the constant battle between the pure aims of the protagonist and the insidious intentions of the antagonist captivated you in an inexplicable way; the applications this has to the human race as a whole really piqued your interest.

  Philosophical topics was something you dabbled in on occasion but the discussion between good and evil being a force out of the individual control of a person and, instead, determined by forces beyond comprehension did cause some discussion between you and Ji-Ah. Mainly, are people born evil or is it an environmental thing?

  The fact that it had been written from numerous authors over the span of centuries was another aspect that only deepened your intrigue. How had authors, all from different parts of the globe and periods of time, collectively written something akin to a timeline of a novel? Realistically, the only thing the stories within the novel had in common was that they discussed the same topic in eerily similar detail just with different historical influences, but that only reinforced the entire philosophical debate of are people born evil.  

  Undeniably, ‘The Hidden War Within’ had wormed its way as a repetitive topic within your friendship and that enabled your obsession with the novel to grow until you were borderline desperate to possess it for yourself.  

  So, as you held it in your hands, tears of unfiltered happiness streamed down your face silently. “Thank-”   “You are very, very welcome,” she cut you off. Then, there was a pause on her line. “To repay me, if you’re feeling oh-so indebted to me, you have to come out with us for a drink tonight.” 

  You knew that the tender moment wouldn’t last long, not with Ji-Ah’s aversion to lengthy emotional situations. 

   Still, you sighed. 

  “Ji-Ah, you know I don’t drink.” You’d had a few in the past, curious to try it out but it never became anything more than just that - a new experience. Alcohol was off-putting to you, it just never tickled your fancy and after seeing what it can lead to… well, fair to say you’d rather stay away from the stuff. 

  Ji-Ah, bless her, was very accommodating to this particularity of yours and always ensured that you were as comfortable as possible at any social event. Hence why her next words weren’t a surprise, “You don’t have to drink-drink, but I am going to have lots of drink-drinks… if that’s okay with you?”

  You laughed softly, shaking your head lightly even though you knew she couldn’t see you. “I trust you, Ji-Ah. I know you’re responsible with it. It’s Jee-Won that I’m dreading, you know how she gets.” 

  Everyone knew how Jee-Won got after a few drinks, especially at a bar where there were plenty of young, ‘attractive’ men to scope out. Her fascination with picking out another guy at every social event was sad because she could quite easily find someone to truly love her and be loved by her. Alas, you might have to resign yourself to her drunken activities and pray that whoever she invited back to the table tonight would be decent and not equally as unhinged as she could be.

  On the other end of the phone call, you could basically hear her thinking of how to convince you to go and as painful as it was to admit to yourself, her persistence was slowly grating at your resilience. 

  The teddy bear sitting on your living room table was practically begging you with its plastic, unseeing eyes. Ji-Ah had bought you all of those gifts and… it was only one night, wasn’t it? And it was your birthday? Surely, it couldn’t be that bad…

  A heavy, resigned sigh escaped your lips and Ji-Ah practically squealed over the phone. 

  “See you at eight! You will not regret this, (Y/N).”

  Somehow, you already did.

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

  It was her fault really that you were in this situation, really. She couldn’t possibly have expected anything different, right? 

  Maybe she did, maybe she expected you to resist, to battle it off as much as you could but her optimism would be her downfall. 

  The urge was just too mighty, the temptation too unbearable to deny and you, too unfortunately stubborn for your own good.

  Looking down at your tote bag, swimming with an array of different chocolates and a multitude of her favourite sweets, you grinned. She’d definitely kill you for buying these for her but words of thanks just weren’t satisfactory enough. Her gifts had quite literally made you cry; you needed to show her, rather than tell her, just how much you cherished her actions.

  Deep down, you knew that she knew that. It was also just fun to see the outrage on her face when you presented her with chocolates or some flowers whenever she’d gone out of her way to spoil you. 

  Deep down, you also knew that she knew that you knew she secretly likes her efforts being appreciated so much and it always makes for a phenomenal movie night whenever you shower her with a myriad of sweet and sugary specials (not that she’d ever admit to that).

  There was something missing from your horde of tradeable valuables and that was, in fact, a palette of different coloured flowers. With a subtle mischief to your stride, you made your way to your most trusted, dear florist ‘Life Rose On’.

  The name never fails to make you chuckle.

  On Jung-Hee owned the beautiful establishment and had been a friend of sorts since you moved to the area five years ago. When moving into your then-new apartment, you decided that the first step to making the space your own was to liven up each room with different colours and types of flowers. 

  Your idea worked like a charm and really helped to keep you motivated when unpacking. Jung-Hee very kindly took the time out of her day to help you hand select each individual flower (and entertained your ceaseless indecision); from that day, you always made sure to drop by whenever you were in town to say hello and to drop off some soju. The old lady was very open about her love for the stuff, even if you had no interest in it. 

  If it was for Jung-Hee, there’s not a lot you wouldn’t do. You loved the elderly lady like your own grandmother and would also lend a helping hand should she need it. 

  She was similar to you in the way that she always repaid you through gifts for your considerate actions - typically a free bouquet of your favourite flowers. 

  After a nice stroll through town, you reached the florist. 

  Unsurprisingly, the window display was stuffed to the brim with a myriad of floral beauties that looked like Mother Nature’s mosaic. Jung-Hee seriously knew how to capture an onlooker's attention and, judging from how many people you could see in the shop beyond the glazed window, she’d succeeded immensely.

  You crossed the street, navigating the crowd of people on the pavements. 

  You got so caught up in the masses of people that you failed to notice the raised step at the entrance of ‘Life Rose On’ and, ultimately, began falling to your doom.

  Letting out an embarrassing squeak of surprise, you braced yourself for the impact with the floor that… never came.

  Peeling your eyes open in mild confusion,  you barely suppressed your gasp of shock at the kind eyes of the stranger that had caught you. You both stayed in whatever position he’d caught you in - you were too out of it to process that properly - and took the opportunity to analyse each others’ face.

  He had the warmest eyes you’d ever seen, a gorgeous galaxy of chocolatey velvet wrapped up in his irises. His lips, parted ever so slightly and downturned, were rosey red and were porcelain in their appearance, flawless and beautiful. Delicate waves of dark hair lined his forehead and it took all of your energy not to reach up and smooth a stray strand out. 

  It felt like hours had passed with you looking into his eyes and examining his face. You couldn’t get enough, there was something so captivating about him, something that made you want to know more-

  Someone cleared their throat. Both you and the stranger were shocked out of your respective reveries and a light blush dusted your cheeks. The stranger seemed completely composed, in contrast. The person who’d cleared their throat was a customer trying to leave through the doorway but found it difficult with two humanoid obstacles in the way. You were happy to see that the lady wasn’t a regular, so she probably wouldn’t bump into her on another occasion. 

  Huffing at your distracted apology, the lady moved past you and the stranger and out of the florist. Now that you and the man were both standing by yourself and pointedly not tripping over some violent, unseen step, you struggled to maintain a neutral expression when you saw how tall he was compared to you. 

  He was easily six foot tall, and using the door as a substitute measuring tape you guessed that he might be slightly taller than that as well. You cursed yourself internally. Of all the people that had to see and catch you, why did it need to be this man? 

  “I am so sorry, are you alright?” You questioned with an apology written all over your face. 

  And, oh, if you thought his face was perfect, then his voice was enough to cause you to ascend. “I’m perfectly fine, are you alright?” how were you supposed to keep composed when his voice sounded like that. 

  Smiling self-deprecatingly, you responded, “I’m perfectly fine. Thank you for that.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” And you didn’t, not really. Not when he assured you so confidently that there was absolutely nothing to trouble yourself with. “Tell me your name.”

  Instinctually, you went to tell him but something held you back. Possibly the way he’d said it - a demand rather than a question. Possibly something else. Although, It struck you as odd that that was how he’d go about that topic but figuring it was largely irrelevant and most likely you were reading too much into things you gave him your name.

  “(Y/N),” he repeated, your name sliding off his tongue so heavenly. “My, how interesting. I used to know someone with the same name.”

  Your eyebrows raised in polite surprise. “Oh, really?”

  He smiled down at you but there was a pinch of something unpleasant weaved into his expression, “Yes. A very compelling woman, was she.” His sudden emotion made you mildly uncomfortable, feeling as though you’d unintentionally uprooted some harsh forgotten memories. 

  Before you could say anything, though, the man bowed to you. “Lovely to make your acquaintance, (Y/N). My name is Yunho.”

  Yunho. 

  You finally had a name to match his angelic face. It suited him perfectly.

  Smiling, a genuine, light-hearted one this time, you mirrored his bow before you both straightened and simply stood there, on the doorway to the shop, and gazed at each other silently. There was something about this man that made you search his eyes, the very deepest, darkest parts of his pupils to find his soul. You didn’t know what it was, but something inside of you said that Yunho was very unique.

  Very unique indeed.

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

  Yunho and you had spoken for another twenty minutes before he’d had to leave.

  The entire time, you were hanging off of his every word and couldn’t quite escape the magnetism of his irises. There was something so captivating with the way he spoke; the words he chose, the tone in which they were woven but also how calming his deep voice was. And, oh, his eyes.

  You couldn’t stop thinking about them. 

  Glancing at your phone, the time read 13:26. That left you about six and a half hours before you had to be there, five hours before you had to get ready, four hours before you got some food and only two hours and a half before you went home. 

  Flowers were the last thing on your list, so once you’d picked out a personalised bouquet for Ji-Ah you’d be able to browse whatever other shops tickled your fancy and then go home, to get ready for your “night out”.

  The more you thought about it, the more you regretted your decision to go. Realistically, you’d most likely have a phenomenal time if you allowed yourself to indulge in the experience. But sitting on your living room table was the one thing you’d wanted for months; it was finally in your grasp and you couldn’t even read it until tomorrow (because you weren’t stupid, you won’t be leaving the club until two in the morning).

  Helplessly, you sighed. There was no way to escape your fate. It was inevitable. At least the flowers were pretty.

  ‘Life Rose On’ was, for lack of a better word, a labyrinth. The only reason you could get around as quick as you could was because you’d navigated its maze-like twists and turns for five years and, even then, when Jung-Hee decided that the shop was getting “too predictable”, she’d reorganise the entire shop so that any hope of save journey was futile. The woman loved to keep people on their toes, her distaste for monotony something you admired contrary to the perilous jungle that was her shop.

  The shop was bigger than it appeared; the bleak outside of the shop didn’t do its magnificent interior any justice. As soon as you entered the florists, an archway made entirely of Japanese Wisteria, Mandevilla and Clematis enveloped you with their sweet smells. Each climbing plant twisting so delicately around the foundations of the archway and certain pieces dangling down in a still, flowery downfall; the occasional petal falling to the ground made walking into the shop feel like you were stepping into another realm with only nature’s best caressing you lightly on their way down to join those who fell before them. 

  After the winding walkway, there was the option to take a left or a right turn. Both laid out to be the start of a rainbow - the beginning of each row included dark red roses, amaryllis to name a few and continued down the line with plants including sunflowers, bluebells and lavender. 

  On Jung-Hee loved a spectacle. She was only just getting started.

  The overall layout of the shop was circular. So, after making your choice of left or right, you would be brought to a turn that took you further towards the centre of the shop. Instead of beginning from red and going down the rainbow, Jung-Hee intricately places each and every flower on these stands to mirror the symbol of whatever season of the year it was. For example, for Valentine’s day, she had gathered the flowers and created a phenomenal display of plants made to look like a landscape of a couple sitting on a mountain, overlooking the horizon. 

  What made ‘Life Rose On’ so unique is that Jung-Hee’s life quite literally revolved around the shop and had dedicated her life to making the shop thrive. It was her family heirloom in a way. The building itself had been in her family for generations but she’s been the first to utilise it to its full potential and allow her family home to bloom to its fullest extent. 

  It was that same ideology that inspired her to make it a florist. Ever the poet, she said that every plant or flower sold was pollen and her customers were the bees, helplessly drawn to its beauty and coming to crave its offerings as sustenance. 

  “You will always be my favourite bee, my dear,” she always said. 

  “And you’ll always be my favourite flower,” you’d respond with an unrestrained smile on your face. 

  After the landscape aisles of the shop, you’d finally reach the centre where the cash register was. Dotted around it, however, were individual stands and displays of flowers that may not have been considered as suitable for the display chosen that month or were simply too big to be practical anywhere more confined. 

  And sitting at the cash register, looking effortlessly in her element would be Jung-Hee. 

  Except… she wasn’t there. A young man was sitting there instead, one you’d never heard of before, let alone seen. Jung-Hee had no children nor did she have any nephews of close relations to anyone of his description.

  You hadn’t seen his face yet, having turned right after the archway you’d reached the centre from behind the cash register so his back was turned to serve the small line of customers there, but you found it slightly odd that Jung-Hee wasn’t at the register she seemed to be glued to six days a week (it used to be seven but you managed to convince her to take Sunday off to look after herself, rather than others for once).

  Biting your lip slightly, you looked down at the collection of blue hyacinths and forget-me-nots you’d collected for Ji-Ah and contemplated coming back at a later date. There was nothing necessarily wrong with having a stranger in Jung-Hee’s place but you had brought along some small things you wanted to give her today and, evidently, you wouldn’t be able to do that. Ji-Ah would still have her flowers and chocolates and whatnot, but at a later date. 

  Thinking about it, it made more sense to kill two birds with one stone at a later date. You wouldn’t be able to give Ji-Ah the flowers until after they’d died anyway due to your schedules being unaligned after tonight and the florist you were looking for was nowhere to be seen.

  Then again…

  “Daisies would work wonderfully with those.” 

  You jolted and looked up to meet the eyes of one of the prettiest, most angelic people you’ve ever seen in your life. Internally, you were mildly shocked at how such a smooth, deep voice could match such an innocent face and yet, somehow the low baritone of his voice was as pleasurable to listen to as his eyes were to gaze into. 

  The irony of his rosy red lips wasn’t lost on you. 

  The man had a birthmark on his cheek, strands of parted black hair framed it like the most cherished picture. Because this man was a work of art, and he deserved to be framed for eternity. 

  Two men. Two heart-wrenchingly handsome men had crossed paths with you in less than twenty minutes. The first one you’d made a fool of yourself to. You’d be damned if you ruined this chance to redeem yourself, even if only to make yourself feel better,

  Meeting his eyes, you took a subtle breath to steel your nerves. “Do you think so? I was debating between purple tulips or just buying them as they are, but I see where you’re coming from.”

  Alright, a slight ramble perhaps but at least you didn’t stumble over your words (or your feet like with Yunho).

  The way his eyes twinkled with sudden interest gave you a bit of confidence. “An interesting choice, but don’t you think the contrast of the daisy’s white petals against the darker purples and blues would only add to the beauty of them all?”

  Contemplatively, you looked down at your hands and imagined the picture he’d painted in your hand. It did make sense, actually. As he said, the contrast between dark and light made a very balanced, very alluring image inside your head. “Ah, you know what? You’re right, that would look lovely.”

  He leant back (you didn’t register when he’d closed a slight distance between you), and looked proud of himself. Dare you say it, the pleased expression he wore was adorable. 

  “I’m glad I could help. My name is Yeosang.”

  Yeosang.

   Just like when you learnt Yunho’s name, something felt so instinctively right about that. Not only did the name suit him perfectly but as though something thrumming underneath your skin calmed after learning his name. 

  “(Y/N), it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for your help, Yeosang-ssi,” you bow deeply so that he avoids seeing the blush dusted across your cheeks. You don’t know what it was, but there was something going on with you today. First Yunho, now Yeosang. Two complete strangers that had affected you more in two minutes than a lot of people had in two years. 

  “You’re very welcome, (Y/N).”

  Yeosang helped you to find however many daisies you wanted (six) and walked you to the register, all while making small talk. It was only when you saw him stand behind the counter rather than in the queue did you make the connection between the mysterious new worker and this kind stranger. 

  Lips parting softly, you placed the flowers into his outstretched hand for him to place them into the bouquet wrapping. “How long have you worked here?”

  His hands worked the ribbon around the patterned wrapping so expertly that you wondered how much practice he’d had at this. “I’ve been here for about two years this month.”

  Two years? Impossible, you would’ve run into him at some point with how frequently you visit the shop. And even if by the very small chance that hadn’t occurred, Jung-Hee would’ve told you of such a development. 

 “How come Jung-Hee never mentioned you?”

  At your question, his hands slowed momentarily but picked up from his slight hesitation as though nothing had happened. “You know Jung-Hee?”

  “I’ve known her for nearly five years now. She’s always been wonderful company and an even better friend.”

  He hummed thoughtfully, “I find it odd she never mentioned me, I must admit.” Finishing wrapping the flowers up, he made eye contact with you again and the sudden tenseness and mild hostility you found in them caught you off guard. “She and I have a very complicated relationship but one that I cherish, nonetheless.”

  You waited for a few seconds for him to elaborate but once he remained silent for the same amount of time, it became clear he wasn’t going to answer further. 

  A part of you still wanted to know where Jung-Hee was today, and you were about to ask when he reached down to something on the shielded side of the counter, hidden from your view. 

  Bringing his hand up, you saw that he’d picked a singular purple rose. He twirled it in his hand for a bit, admiring its rare beauty, before making eye contact with you once again. Slowly, as though giving you the opportunity to step back should you wish, he raised the rose to your head and tucked it gently behind your ear.

   His hand lingered by your cheek for a second longer than it should’ve, especially considering the short amount of time you’d known him… but, you’d be lying if you said that closeness, even the faintest amount of it, wasn’t the best thing you’d experienced in a long, long time. 

  Appearing reluctant, he pulled back. “Goodbye, (Y/N). I hope I’ll see you again soon.” His voice was a whisper but carried the weight of a winter wind. 

  You couldn’t help the blush that spread across your cheeks. If the slight twitching of his lips was anything to go by, he was well aware of the effect he had on you. 

  You met his eyes, the look he was giving you so tender it made saying this goodbye almost unbearable. “Goodbye, Yeosang.”

  After leaving the innermost circle of the shop, you felt like a weight was settling off of your lungs. You didn’t even recognise how difficult it had become to breathe there, nor had you recognize how unexplainably painful it was to depart from Yeosang only after knowing him for fifteen minutes.

    A rush of something euphoric had spread through you after he’d given you the flower, and coupled with the barest touch to your cheek your emotions had been sent tumbling. You stepped out of the shop and, for the first time in a long time, felt like there was something more to your life again. As though you’d found your purpose.

  Oh, how little you knew.

──•~❉ ᯽ ❉~•──

[cool-fancier]

A Fiery Reunion

Synopsis: Bada's arrival ignites a fire within you, leading to an intense time filled with passion and exploration of our deepest desires.

Requested by anonymous

a/n: This story contains explicit sexual content . The characters and especially Bada and events in this story are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real-life individuals or situations is purely coincidental. This story is a work of fiction and should not be interpreted as a reflection of real-life relationships or situations.

Word count:2.2K

The first time you laid eyes on Bada, it was at a crowded art gallery opening. Her presence was magnetic, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Her confidence exuded from every pore, and her striking features commanded attention.

You found yourself unable to tear your gaze away from her as she moved through the crowd, effortlessly captivating those around her with her infectious smile. It was as if time stood still, and the world faded into the background, leaving only her in sharp focus.

Summoning all the courage you could muster, you made our way towards her, hoping to strike up a conversation. As you approached, your nerves threatened to consume you, but you pushed through, determined to make a connection.

"Hi," you greeted, your voice betraying a hint of nervousness. "I couldn't help but notice your presence in the room. The way you carry yourself is simply captivating."

Bada's eyes locked onto yours, a mischievous glint dancing within them. She smirked, her gaze sweeping over you with an intensity that made your heart race. "Well, aren't you charming? I do have a way of leaving an impression, don't I?"

Her playful response set the tone for our conversation, easing the tension that had gripped you moments before. You both exchanged pleasantries and delved into discussions about art, philosophy, and life itself. It was as if you were two souls hungry for intellectual stimulation, craving the connection that only like-minded individuals could provide.

As the night wore on, your conversation flowed effortlessly, each word deepening the bond you were forming. You both laughed, challenged each other's beliefs, and found solace in the comfort of shared understanding.

Days turned into weeks, and your conversations extended beyond the art gallery. The two of you exchanged numbers, and your messages became a lifeline, connecting your thoughts and desires across the digital realm. You discovered a profound connection that transcended the surface level, delving into the depths of your souls.

Late-night conversations turned into early morning confessions, as you bared your vulnerabilities and shared your deepest dreams. You both found solace in one another's words, a refuge from the chaos of the world outside.

It was during one of these late-night conversations that Bada finally broke the barrier of friendship, her words laced with a newfound boldness. "You know, Y/N, I can't help but feel this undeniable chemistry between us," she confessed. "I want to explore what lies beyond friendship with you. Are you open to the possibility?"

Your heart skipped a beat, your mind racing with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. The connection you had formed was undeniably powerful, and the thought of taking it to the next level both thrilled and frightened you.

But in that moment, you trusted your instincts, your heart yearning to delve deeper into the unknown. "Yes," you replied, my voice filled with conviction. "I want to explore this connection with you, to see where it leads."

And so, you took the leap, venturing into the realm of romance with equal parts excitement and trepidation. Your dates were filled with adventure and exploration, each experience deepening your bond. You both discovered shared passions, indulging in the pleasures of life together.

Your connection extended beyond the physical realm, as you nurtured each other's dreams and supported one another's growth. Bada became your confidante, your partner in crime, and the one who pushed you to embrace your desires and embrace the fullness of life.

With every passing day, your love blossomed, defying societal norms and expectations. You revelled in the uniqueness of your connection, cherishing the unconventional path we had chosen.

As you embarked on this journey of love and self-discovery, you knew deep in your heart that your story would forever be etched in the annals of passion and desire. Together, you embraced the uncharted territories of your hearts, discovering a love that was both extraordinary and unparalleled.

In the end, your love was not a cliché tale of love at first sight, but a story of two souls finding solace and passion in one another's arms. And as you continued to write your own narrative, the two of you reveled in the beauty of your unconventional love story, embracing the magic that unfolded between the two of you.

— — — — —

You had been eagerly anticipating Bada's arrival all day, your heart fluttering with excitement. It had been too long since you last saw her, and you missed her presence, her touch, her intoxicating energy.

As the doorbell rang, you rushed to open it, a smile spreading across your face as you laid eyes on Bada. She stood before you, radiating confidence and allure, her eyes locked on yours.

"Y/N," she said, her voice filled with warmth and longing. "I've missed you."

You reached out to pull her into a tight embrace, savoring the familiar scent of her as your bodies pressed against each other. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this moment of reunion.

"I missed you too, Bada," you whispered, your voice filled with genuine affection. "It feels like forever since we were last together."

Bada leaned in, her lips brushing against your ear as she spoke. "I couldn't stand being away from you any longer," she murmured, her words sending shivers down your spine. "I needed to see you, to feel your touch."

The desire in her voice ignited a fire within you, your longing for her intensifying with every passing second. You knew that this reunion would be more than just a simple embrace. It would be a passionate exploration of your desires, a celebration of the connection you both shared.

Without a word, Bada took your hand and led you to the bedroom, where the air crackled with anticipation. The room was adorned with soft candlelight, casting a warm and intimate glow across the space.

As you watched Bada undress, her movements slow and deliberate, your heart raced with desire. The sight of her naked body, her curves and contours, made your pulse quicken. You couldn't help but admire her, the way her confidence radiated from her every pore.

She turned to face you, her eyes locked with yours, and a seductive smile played on her lips. "Undress for me, Y/N," she commanded, her voice filled with a mix of dominance and desire.

With trembling hands, you shed your clothes, feeling a mixture of vulnerability and excitement. Bada's gaze never wavered, her eyes devouring every inch of your exposed skin. You could feel the heat between the two of you intensify as your naked bodies stood before each other, the air heavy with anticipation.

Without hesitation, Bada closed the distance between us, her hands exploring every curve and crevice of your body. Her touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. You surrendered to her completely, allowing her to guide you into a world of exquisite pleasure.

As your bodies intertwined, both your moans and gasps filled the room, harmonizing with the rhythm of your passion. Time seemed to lose all meaning as you lost yourselves in each other, your desires merging and intertwining.

Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word fueled the fire within you, propelling you towards the edge of ecstasy. Your bodies moved in perfect synchrony, a dance of passion and desire.

You lay tangled in Bada's embrace, your body still humming with the remnants of pleasure. Her words fueled a mix of desire and uncertainty within you, your mind grappling with the idea of pushing yourself further, of surrendering to the depths of pleasure she so effortlessly commanded.

Your voice quivered as you responded, your breath catching in my throat. "I...I don't know if I can," you confessed, your voice laced with a mixture of longing and apprehension. The sensations coursing through your body made it difficult to focus, to think clearly.

Bada's eyes held a hunger that matched your own, her lips curving into a wicked smile as she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "Oh, Y/N," she murmured, her voice a seductive purr. "I believe in you. I know you can push yourself further, explore new heights of pleasure."

Her words stirred a dormant fire within you, reigniting the embers of your desire. With her hand teasing your nipples, your body responded involuntarily, your breath hitching at the sensation. The thought of being pushed to your limits excited you, even as fear mingled with desire.

"Do you want me to...?" You trailed off, my voice filled with both anticipation and trepidation. The idea of Bada fulfilling her every desire, even if it meant pushing your boundaries, enticed you in ways you never thought possible. But the idea of your roommate coming home soon, added a layer of caution to your thoughts.

Bada's response was immediate, her voice filled with an intoxicating mix of need and anticipation. "I want everything from you," she assured you, her words spoken with a sense of urgency. "But we need to be mindful of your roommate. We wouldn't want any unexpected interruptions, would we?"

The reality of your situation sank in, and you nodded, your mind reeling with a mix of disappointment and excitement. You understood the need for caution, the desire to keep your encounters hidden from prying eyes. But your body, still buzzing with need, ached for release, for the next level of pleasure that only Bada could provide.

As Bada's fingers lingered on your nipples, teasing and coaxing, you couldn't help but wonder what lay beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. The thought of Bada's touch, sent a surge of excitement through me. It was a forbidden desire, one that you had only dared to explore in the darkest corners of my fantasies.

Her lips, soft and demanding, claimed yours in a fervent kiss, igniting a fire that consumed you both. Both your tongues danced in a passionate embrace, exploring the depths of each other's mouths, as your bodies pressed closer, seeking the ultimate connection.

Bada's hand trailed down your torso, her fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. A shiver of anticipation coursed through you as her touch brushed against your inner thighs, teasingly close to the source of your pleasure.

With a deft movement, she spread your legs apart, exposing the wetness that had pooled between your thighs. The cool air caressed your heated flesh, intensifying the ache of need that pulsed within you.

Her fingers traced a path along your slick folds, teasingly circling your clit before dipping lower. A gasp escaped your lips as she plunged two fingers deep inside you, filling you with a delicious stretch. You arched your back, your body craving more, even though you were quite sensitive as she set a rhythm that matched the pounding of your heart.

"Good girl," Bada purred, her voice a sultry melody. "You're so wet and ready for me. Just relax and let go."

Her words, laced with dominance and desire, sent a surge of electricity through you. You surrendered to her touch, your body becoming a vessel for her pleasure. Each thrust of her fingers brought you closer to the edge, pushing you towards the precipice of ecstasy.

Your hips bucked in time with her movements, your moans of pleasure filling the room. Bada's free hand reached up to cup your breast, her thumb expertly flicking your hardened nipple, sending shockwaves of pleasure straight to your core.

Sensation overwhelmed you as you teetered on the edge of release, your body tensing with anticipation. Bada's fingers quickened their pace, driving you closer to the brink, until the dam finally broke.

An explosion of pleasure ripped through you, waves of ecstasy crashing over your body. Your back arched off the bed, your fingers clawing at the sheets as you cried out in ecstasy. Bada held you through the intensity of your orgasm, riding the waves of pleasure with you.

As the aftershocks subsided, you lay breathless and sated, your body tingling with the remnants of pleasure. Bada's fingers slowly withdrew from your depths, leaving you feeling both empty and fulfilled.

She kissed you tenderly, her lips conveying a mixture of tenderness and satisfaction. "You were amazing," she whispered against your lips. "I love the way you respond to me, the way you surrender to pleasure."

As the aftershocks subsided, you lay spent and satisfied in Bada's arms, your bodies still entwined. The air was thick with the scent of sex and the palpable energy that lingered between us.

Bada's voice, a gentle whisper, broke the silence. "You were incredible," she murmured, her fingers tenderly caressing your cheek. "So beautiful and responsive. I can't wait to explore more with you, to take you to places you've never been before."

"Thank you for coming to see me, Bada," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude and affection.

Bada smiled, her eyes sparkling with adoration. "I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Y/N," she replied, her voice filled with sincerity. "You mean everything to me."

In that moment, you knew that your connection was something truly special. It was a love that transcended physical pleasure, a love that encompassed trust, understanding, and an unwavering desire to explore the depths of your desires together. And as you drifted off to sleep, your bodies entwined, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement for the adventures that awaited you in the days to come.

[lets-try-some-writing]

I am imagining baby starscream calling ratchet mama like miko taught him and ratchet just *hugs tightly while silently crying in pure happiness *

Adorable. I refuse to not write about this scenario. Ratchet needs this sort of affection gosh dang it.

Call him Mama, It will be Cute

During one of his stays at the Autobot base, the children ended up on sparklingsitting duty due to a handful of various reasons. And while Smokescreen was technically the one in charge, he was more interested in his video game than Starscream. As such he was not aware at all when Miko began teaching Starscream to say one word in particular while pointing at pictures of Ratchet. Starscream being the innocent little angel that he was, caught onto Miko's teachings quickly.

As such when the team returned to take Starscream out of Smokescreen and the children's care, Ratchet was hit with the biggest bombshell of his functioning. Never in his life had he ever expected to be called by any terms of endearment by a sparkling. He had always been referred to as Ratchet, Medic, or Caretaker by any sparkling he did have the pleasure of caring for. And so when he came to collect Starscream and was met with a joyous cry of "Mama!" he was speechless.

Ratchet: w-what?

Starscream: *making grabby hands* Mama!

Ratchet: *looking around just to be sure that Starscream was talking to him* Me? You are calling me Mama?!

Starscream: *smiling* Mama!

Miko: *quietly* Mission success.

Ratchet was not quite sure what to make of the human term of endearment but it still meant the world to him. It was not the same as being called Sire, Nurturer, or Caretaker, but it was still a wonderful feeling. He was hardly able to keep his composure as he picked up Starscream with utmost care and held him lovingly. The medic had to leave the room to go calm down once he had his fill of Starscream repeatedly calling him by the human title.

The team were left dumbfounded by the event both because of Ratchet's reaction and Starscream's seemingly out of the blue speech. And while they were left mostly in a state of shock for a while, a sense of rivalry quickly grew among them. Every single member of the team wanted Starscream to call them something now that Ratchet had been blessed with that honor. This led to more than one passive aggressive argument between different bots as they tried to convince Starscream to call them something.

Smokescreen and Bumblebee regularly fought over the right to be called "big brother", often leading to a tussle as they both tried to convince Starscream to call them by their desired title. Arcee, despite not being the biggest fan of Starscream, was determined to gain the title of "Aunt" even if it killed her, (although she never voiced this) and so quietly attempted bribery with energon goodies when possible. Bulkhead and Wheeljack very nearly destroyed their friendship with how hard they both vied for the right to be called "Uncle", with both trying their hardest to make life more difficult for the other until they came to a truce. Ultra Magnus, much like Arcee, also wanted to be called by a title and not so subtly tried to bribe Starscream as well, quietly warring with Arcee and trying to make his own bribes better than hers.

As for Optimus, no one besides Ratchet would have noticed if they cared to look, but he was vicious in his efforts to be called "Dad" or something similar. His methods were so subtle as to be non-existent to an casual observer. But by taking full control of handling Starscream's naptimes, he gained a whole window of opportunity to exert his influence. He had nearly an hour every single day to tell stories to Starscream and subtly point the sparkling toward calling him "Dad". And while Ratchet did see this effort, he did nothing to stop it so long as he got to handle Starscream's bedtime routine.

Of course once it came time for the Decepticons to have their turn taking care of Starscream, the team did not hesitate to rub their successes in their faces. Ratchet made quite of show of being called Mama as he handed Starscream off, much to Knockout's rage. And Optimus managed to get Starscream to call him Dad as he was returned to the Nemesis, prompting murderous glares from Breakdown and Soundwave as Optimus just smiled.

The Vehicons all immediately descended on Starscream like hungry vultures once they heard the news. Each and every one cooed at Starscream when possible, doing their best to draw out a call of "Brother" from the sparkling. Soundwave swiftly began fighting against Optimus, doing everything in his power to be called "Sire" in order to stand on equal footing with the Prime. Knockout upped his caretaking efforts in a desperate attempt to convince Starscream to call him "Nurturer" or any variation of mom that he could conceive. Breakdown also worked extra hard to make Starscream happy to try and get the little seekerling to call him some variation of Dad. All the while Megatron watched the proceedings with growing exhaustion as both Autobots and Decepticons began the most passive aggressive war of words and influence he had ever seen. More than once he retired to his quarters to drink his problems away as the conflict reminded him of dealing with politics far too much.

[fushiglow]

One thing I find a little sad is that how Geto's death affected Shoko and Saturo's friendship a lot, you know, you feel empty when they're together, there's something missing there. you see how much geto is missed by shoko and especially gojo With geto's death do you feel a significant change in satura and shoko, what do you think? sorry for the text

Unfortunately, Gege Akutami really hasn't given us much to work with when analysing Gojō and Shōko's relationship, both before and after Getō left. It's such a shame because Shōko is such an intriguing character in her own right and I love the way she contrasts Gojō in a way — the prodigious healer to his prodigious destroyer.

While their relationship is one I love thinking about and I *adored* that little moment we got with Shōko right before they broke him out of the Prison Realm, it's seriously under-developed. Personally, I like to think they were closer in some ways after Getō left. I think, from what we *have* seen in canon (Shōko doesn't even bat an eyelid when Gojō asks for her complicity in plotting against the higher ups; she knows him well enough to recognise his soft spot for Yūji; he feels comfortable enough with her to be vulnerable and open about his goals for the next generation) Shōko understood Gojō more than most people — and more than he realised, too.

I interpret Shōko's words in 220 as recognition of the fact that Gojō and Getō were close to each other in a way that she wasn't, but also as an expression of her own loneliness. I don't think it means nothing that Gege paints her as alone in a room full of people — exactly like Gojō describes himself in 236.

These chapters bookend Gojō's return to the story and his subsequent departure from it, so I don't think that's a coincidence and I *hope* the meaning of these constant references to the characters' solitude will emerge by the end of the story.

Anything else I say about their relationship is pure conjecture because there just isn't enough in the text to support any meaningful analysis. However, I'm still nurturing a tiny kernel of hope that that's because Gege is going to explore it a little more. I'm probably just delusional though!

Don't apologise for the question, I love answering them ♥

[rickyolsonmiw23]

Confessions on Stage

In a quaint small town, nestled between rolling hills and surrounded by a forest that whispered secrets, lived two best friends named Chris and Ricky. They had grown up together, sharing childhood adventures and forming an unbreakable bond that seemed to only strengthen with time.

Chris was known for his easy going demeanor, always wearing a bright smile that could light up the gloomiest of days. He had a passion for music and could often be found strumming his guitar under the shade of the old oak tree near the town square.

Ricky, on the other hand, was the more reserved of the two. He had a way with words and a heart full of stories waiting to be told. He spent his days in the local library, surrounded by stacks of books, dreaming of becoming a renowned author someday.

As years passed, their feelings for each other began to shift. What had once been a simple friendship had deepened into something more, something that they could not put into words. It was a love that grew silently, like the roots of trees intertwining beneath the earth.

One summer, the town decided to hold a grand music and arts festival to celebrate its rich cultural heritage. Chris, with his love for music, was eager to participate. He practiced tirelessly, crafting a beautiful song that he hoped would convey the emotions he had been harboring for so long.

Ricky, aware of Chris's feelings, decided that this was the perfect opportunity to share his own. He wrote a heartfelt letter, filled with all the words he had longed to say but could not find the courage to speak aloud.

The day of the festival arrived, and the town square was transformed into a vibrant hub of creativity. Artists displayed their paintings, dancers twirled to the rhythm of drums, and the air was alive with the scent of food and the sound of laughter.

As the sun began to set, the stage was illuminated with soft, warm lights. Chris stood there with his guitar, his heart pounding as he looked out at the gathering crowd. Ricky watched from the sidelines, clutching the letter in his hand.

Chris began to play, his fingers dancing effortlessly across the strings. The melody he composed reflected all the emotions he had kept hidden for so long. And as he sang, his voice filled with tenderness and vulnerability, it was as if he was bearing his soul to the world.

Unbeknownst to Chris, Ricky had stepped onto the stage during his performance. As the last notes of the song faded into the evening air, Ricky approached him, the letter trembling in his hand. With a mixture of nervousness and determination, he looked into Chris's eyes and began to read the heartfelt words he had penned.

Tears welled up in Chris's eyes as he listened, his heart swelling with a mix of emotions he could not contain. And then, as Ricky finished reading, the two friends-turned-lovers found themselves in each other's arms, a wave of happiness and relief washing over them.

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause, celebrating not only the beauty of their confession but the authenticity of their love. It was a moment of pure magic, a testament to the power of vulnerability and the strength of a bond that had been nurtured over the years.

From that day on, Chris and Ricky's love story continued to flourish. They faced life's challenges and celebrated its joys side by side, hand in hand. And as the years went by, they often returned to that same stage, to relive the moment when their friendship blossomed into a love that was as deep and enduring as the roots of the forest that surrounded their town.

Hey everyone so this whole story post thing is gonna be how I make sure I have all my stories in one place so I don't loose them and y'all have something to read and stuff so yeah enjoy this one currently drinking coffee and tea with kombucha in it to help with my stomach pain and trying to distract myself from the chest pain I have right now so yeah enjoy and I'll post the next one soon love you guys

[behoright]

just a little bored l b. burns x j. staal x reader

truthfully i've got some space / i want a man to fill it

summary: you help brent and jordi deal with the game loss by inviting them over to your apartment and...

wordcount: 3.8k

song: floyd - kelis

warnings: smut. unprotected sex. anal. lots of dirty talk n baby talk. size kink. an oral fixation and a slight foot fetish. a lil bit of gagging/choking. and lots of fluids. 

a/n: ummmm…. this is ALL @thejerksquad ‘s fault. it’s so nasty i’m sORRY. i’m thinking about writing an andrei/pyotr version of this story - lmk what you think. it’s horribly written but um. it’s here. hope y’all enjoy. 🙃

reminder: this is purely fiction.

　 ҉  ㅤ۪  ࿙࿚ ◌

Jordan woke up with a pounding in his head. The light hurt his eyes, in disbelief that it was morning already. Every family has problems, he’d told himself over and over again. 

However, this time was different. All of the drama, the back and forth was taking too much of a toll on him, and it was getting harder to keep a smile on his face. After his wife had left him for their younger, beefier neighbor, the team had already been understanding enough toward him. He didn’t need any more sympathy; not when he had a team to lead. 

Thankfully, he had been able to nurture some new connections with guys on the team. Burnzie had gone through a very similar situation with his now ex, right before he had moved to Raleigh. It gave him hope to know that his teammate was friends with his former lover. Maybe there was some hope for him as well in the future.

Dating, however, was completely out of the question for both of them. The younger guys had pressured both at some point to get something called Tinder or what have you; but Burnzie could never remember which way to swipe if he liked a girl. Jordi didn’t have his phone on him most of the time. Everyone was too young on there, and to be fair, they weren’t 22 anymore. They had obviously seen many attractive girls that they would have loved to spend the night with. But they all wanted money, or season passes, and to be introduced to the younger guys. It was too confusing and time-consuming. 

Most days, both men would come home to their now-considered “bachelor pads”, in the same building, eat and head straight to bed. That’s unless, you counted their nights with you, their lovely neighbor. 

It wasn’t astonishing to anyone that they both were attracted to you. Duh. But they were both very aware that you were too young for them. 

You were just like one of the girls they saw on those dating apps. Unlike them, you seemed to almost take them in, instead of the other way around. During those lonely days off that they would spend alone, you were always at their doorstep with a hot plate of food. For both. So eventually, they started coming to you.

Sometimes, only Burnzie. Other times, both of them. 

They didn’t want to cross any lines, and they knew they were vulnerable, but it had been a while since they had been taken care of like this. Brent’s ex never waited up for him or asked about any of his games. And Jordie’s former wife had never touched a skillet or pan, opting instead to use his credit card to serve herself. They were both used to coming to a home that was dark, cold, and lonely, before AND after their marriage. So to no surprise, your apartment was heaven to them. Lovely decorated, hardwood floors covered with sophisticated rugs and cream-colored furniture. Brent had noticed how you always kept a candle lit and fresh flowers on your kitchen island. After you started fostering a friendship, Jordan loved that you had his favorite candy always stocked in your pantry. 

So they would both privately relish in the fantasy. Of coming home to you, to a warm meal and a warm bed. To an embrace. But those things could have never been shared. It was pure fantasy. 

As much as he didn’t want to, Rod had forced Jordan to take today off. There was something about his look, his quietness that put Rod off, so he got sent home.

Burns, on the other hand, gave it his all, but man, it was getting hard. This stretch of the season always took more out of him, but the low that came from their recent losses had taken a toll. This night, especially, after failing to get the puck into the net during the shootout. And Jordi had watched it all from his apartment, alone. 

That’s how you ended up with the two men, looking completely defeated, on your couch.

“Come.” Brent waved his hand at you, spreading his legs open on the couch. “I need something to hold and Jordi took all of the pillows.” 

You had invited them to watch a movie, get their mind off of their jobs with a good meal to accompany them. You were truly hoping it’d work, lift their spirits a bit. 

“I have a million throw pillows on my THREE couches, and you guys still manage to end up like this.” you said, your back pressed against Burnzie’s chest, his tattooed arms now wrapped around you. 

“You’re the most comfortable anyways” he whispered.

Brent had an undeniable crush on you. He had thought before that you acted way older than your age, and that thought simply just repulsed him. Was he becoming that older man that only looked at 20-year-olds? Ugh. Creepy. So he pushed it down. He’d come over and let himself be smitten by you, and sometimes he’d fall asleep with his cock in his hand, fantasies running through his head. But never in real life. 

What they both didn’t know, thanks to your poker face, was how much you loved to spend time with them. Individually, and together. There was something about them always coming back to you. They didn’t treat you like all of those guys your friends set you up with. They weren’t messy or dirty. They didn’t comment on other women’s bodies in front of you. It was a pleasure to you to have them over all the time, and perhaps those moments spent together made your underwear a little wet. But they didn’t need to know that. No harm, no foul. 

You finally all settled on the couch, the opening credits to your favorite movie playing. It wasn’t long before the atmosphere in the room started to switch. The air, suddenly, becoming thicker. Stuffier.

You were moving so much. So, so much. And Brent hated how good it felt on his lap. The pressure from your ass rubbing on him was heavenly. But it felt wrong. He couldn’t let himself get hard right now. 

“Are you settled yet? You’re moving a lot.” he uttered quietly, eyes glued to the tv.  

“It’s hard to get comfortable when you guys are taking up so much space.” you hissed, quietly. 

On the opposite end of the couch, Jordan’s hands were resting on your feet, covered by a blanket. Thankfully, he thought, you were far away enough that you couldn’t feel the bulge growing in his pants. There was something about seeing you so comfortable in between them. You looked so small, enveloped by Burnzie’s big frame. He would've done anything to switch positions with him, maybe would have finally had the guts to let his fingers trail your body. And he could tell by the way you keep rustling around that your own body was seeking a different type of pleasure. Or maybe he was simply too horny, his mind coloring everything with desire. 

Nonetheless, your chest was heaving differently tonight. Perhaps it was the thin tank top you had on, one that showed your bra. But your cheeks… they were so flushed. And Jordie had noticed his teammate getting more and more restless as well. Brent’s eyes kept rolling at all of your moves, wiping his forehead at each one of your movements. 

And now, he couldn’t hide it. 

Brent was fully hard. He was wearing sweatpants, and his length wasn’t something that he could easily hide. He knew you could feel it. He swore it. Your breathing had changed, now moving more a little more rapidly. And that bra that you had on pushed your tits higher than ever. He turned his eyes away from your body when he felt Jordi’s staring into his soul. There was something there, but Brent couldn’t quite pin down what it was. His captain raised his eyebrows at him, head nodding towards you. Brent gave him a questioning look. And Jordi’s eyes widened, biting the inside of his cheek. 

Was he insinuating that he should’ve…..?

Yes, Jordi nodded his head. “Just try.” he mouthed. 

Brent’s lips got closer to your ear. 

“You doing okay there, sweetheart?”

“Uh….yes.” you whispered.

“Are you getting warm? You seem a little flushed.” he added, beard tickling your neck.

“Are you warm?” Brent heard a hint of attitude in your voice. “Do you want me to move the blanket? Are you sure that's the best idea? Maybe we should keep ourselves covered.” 

Brent hips slightly rolled up. Jordi had heard everything, unbeknownst to you, his cock growing bigger under his own blanket. 

“We don’t need to keep anything under covers, baby. No need to worry about that.” he whispered, lips moving towards your neck. Brent started placing small pecks up and down your side, his grip on you getting tighter and closer to your chest. As he swooped his tongue on your earlobe, his eyes shot up Jordi.

Your turn, Captain. 

Jordi’s hands moved out of the blanket, beginning to rub your legs. Your head was now tilted back onto Burnzie’s shoulders, eyes fluttering at the wet feeling of him on your neck. Jordi couldn’t help but run his fingers back down to your feet, starting to move his thumbs in unison to massage them, his hips forming small circles on the couch. 

“Oh, you guys.” you moaned.

“Yeah? Is this okay?” 

“Do you want this, Y/N?” 

“Yes. God, yes.” you said, letting them take you over even more. 

This was long due. Tonight was perfect for all of you. 

Jordi brought up your left foot to his mouth, placing kisses all around it, while Brent’s hands moved to massage your breasts, his mouth working overtime on your neck. 

“You take such good care of us, Y/N.” Jordi said, switching to your other foot in the most gentle way possible. “Let us return the favor.” 

The only thing you could do is moan, your pelvis grinding up and down, feeling Brent’s hard cock on your ass. 

Burnzie’s thick fingers found their way around the cups of your bra and tank top, pushing them down and letting your tits spill out. 

“Look how beautiful you are.” Jordi added, pecking at your bare ankles. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Brent grunted, wrapping his calloused hands around your exposed chest.

He grinded into you at the feeling of your bare skin, and he was so big that it jolted your body up a little bit. It was all friction between you two, and it felt so good. One of his hands moved down to your pants.

“You’ve soaked through your shorts, baby. What a messy girl you are.” he said, keeping his grinding steady, making your tits bounce in his touch as you were moved by his lap; he eventually moved his hand to trace his fingertips up and down the cloth covering your pussy. Jordi’s lips keep moving up your legs more, becoming more open-mouthed as he crossed past your shin, your knee, and eventually landed on the inside of your thighs, his own cock looking for friction by pressing into the couch.  

“I can see how wet you are. Are you wearing underwear, baby?” he said, face inching close to your heat while Burnzie kept leaving hickeys on your neck.

“I-, I am.” 

“I think it’s about time we change that.” Burnzie growled. 

Jordi proceeded to pull down your pants, your undies momentarily sticking to your cunt before coming down. The action made both of the men ache. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“You look so ready for us.” Jordi added, right before licking up your pussy, your hips bucking towards him.

He smirked, meeting his teammates’ eyes, right before stuffing his face into you. Your moans increased, uncontrollably, and you moved in the most perfect way for Brent, whose body was tightening under you. You were basically covered in love bites by now, but no one cared. Brent wanted to see his mark on you. 

Jordan was losing himself in your pussy. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done this. The first taste reminded him how much he loved to; he was parched, and you were his only source of water. He twirled his tongue around your clit, sucking and applying the most amount of toe-curling pleasure. He progressed down to your entrance, desperately lapping up at your sweet juices, wanting more and more and more. He wanted to feel your thighs tremble more, he wanted more of your taste, more of your moans. 

“That’s right baby, keep grinding your pussy on his face like that. Do you know what that’s doing to me? Can you feel how fucking hard you’re making me?” Brent grunted. 

He was doing his best to not grind his hips up too hard into you, seeing as it would jostle you around so much, but Burnzie was getting impatient. 

Before you got too close, you pried Jordan’s head away from you. He looked up at you, chin covered in spit and in you, hungry for more. 

Swiftly, you turned around and pulled Brent’s pants down to let his erection spring free. Jordi pulled your ass back into him, his tongue already out and dripping for you, and went back to eating you out as you bent your head low, twirling your tongue around Brent’s head. His cock stood straight up, precum running the side of his veiny length. He hadn’t felt a mouth on him in so long. His head went slack on the couch, eyes rolling in absolute bliss.

“Oh, fuck.” he moaned, his voice down a register already. 

You wasted no time in taking him as far down as possible, his lower body immediately going into twitches. The pleasure radiating from Jordan’s tongue dipping inside you was filling you up with an irresistible warmth. You didn’t care how big Brent was, or the fact that you were gagging and drooling all over him, globs of saliva dropping onto his pubic hair. You ran your hand down onto his base, moving between stroking him and spreading your spit onto his balls. 

“Holy fuck. Good girl, baby. You’re being so, so good for us.” he growled, stifling down his moans as much as he could. The tension in between your legs was getting stronger, Jordi’s tongue moving rapidly, his knuckles white from grabbing on your hips, doing his best at pushing as much of you into him. 

You gasped, tongue still licking Brent’s cock. 

“Oh, Jordan. Oh. Oh my god.” you moaned, a line of spit connecting your lips to Brent’s pulsating member.

“Give it to me, pretty girl.” he said, before stuffing his tongue back inside your cunt.

That was all it took for the rubberband to snap. You rested your head on Burnzie’s hip while moans ripped right out of you, trembling and creaming all over Jordan’s face. Brent was so overtaken by the whole scene that he caressed your head while you rippled through your orgasm, hand lazily stroking his wet cock. 

The two men didn’t let you catch your breath before moving around, too filled up with want for you to wait. You kept your head down and ass up, your breath still escaping you, while they both kissed all over you. 

“How about this, baby?” Jordan said, his finger circling around your tight hole. 

“Wh-, what about it?” you asked, looking back at them.

“Oh, look how easily your hole takes my finger in. You’ve played with this before, haven’t you?” he coaxed, his fingertip finding its way inside you. 

“Fuck, yes, yes.” you moaned, craving to be filled up by both of them. 

“What a dirty girl.” Brent said, grabbing your hips and turning your body around, so you were laying on your back on the couch, the two players towering over you. They both got fully underdressed, eyes never leaving you. Brent picked you up, your arms and legs automatically wrapping around him. He stuck his tongue inside your mouth, feverishly, and subtly kicked the coffee table behind them out of the way. You were all standing in the middle of your living room by the time Jordan came behind you. He was so close you could feel his hot breath on your nape, his dick, rock hard and leaking, resting on the small of your back. Brent couldn’t leave your mouth, moving his face more into yours, looking for dominance. It felt dirty and messy - his fingers gripping the underside of your thighs, kisses full of spit and teeth. 

“You’re so soaked that I don’t even need lube, look.” Jordi said, spreading your juices and his spit over to your ass. You heard him spit on his cock before feeling the tip push into you. Jordan couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed sex, let alone anal. And fuck, it felt so good. The tight seal of your body on his member made his thighs tremble. Brent saw your eyebrows furrow as Jordan’s pelvis came flush with you. 

“Oh my god. It’s so good.” you moaned.

“You want me to fill your other hole, baby?” Brent asked, his tongue forcing his way onto yours again. 

“Please, Brent.” you responded, in between kisses and licks. 

“Open up.” he ordered.

You stuck your tongue out, pleasure washing all over your face from Jordan’s thrusts. Brent was strong enough that one hand and one forearm could keep you up with no problem, while Jordan kept you steady by your waist. He took his other hand and placed two fingers on your tongue.

“Suck them. Keep your mouth open and tongue out.” he barked, and you did as told, still choking out moans that came from the pressure building up in your ass. 

Brent only needed to put two fingers in your mouth in order to take up most of your space. He rubbed them back and forth, gathering your spit, and pushed them a little further into your mouth every time. His tips made it all the way to the back of your mouth, making you gag slightly and cover his digits in more saliva. 

“Good girl.” he praised, taking his hand and wiping it over the swollen folds that lay in between you two. He then sharply stuffed your cunt with his throbbing length, a tear running down your face from the stimulation. The sensation of being so full made you cry out loud.

“Be loud for us, Y/N. Be good for us, baby.” Jordan coaxed, his cock moving in and out of you. It didn’t take long for the men to find a comfortable rhythm, Brent’s hips becoming flush with you as Jordan pulled out of you. It was the most overwhelming pleasure sensation, and you couldn’t stop calling out for them, moaning and whimpering. Brent, Jordan, Brent, Jordan. 

“Louder.” they’d both order. “Louder.”

You caught the reflection of your bodies in the living room window, moving in union, standing in the middle of the room. The heat in your pelvis was rapidly coming to a boil, your nails scratching Brent’s tattooed shoulders. 

“Are you going to cum for us?” Brent said, his eyes hazy, focused on your face. 

“Let go, baby.” Jordan whispered, his torso touching your back as he fucked you deeper. 

You felt the pressure inside you explode as you squirted, releasing hard all over the two players. The more they moved, the more squirt would break out of you, spilling onto their legs. Whenever you would release, your holes would tighten around both of the men, encouraging their pace to become faster. 

You were absolutely losing it, your body screaming out for them; listening to their grunts and moans, cocks respectively filling you up and leaving you empty, and the amount of sweet nectar that you were dripping over them was unprecedented. 

“Fuck.”

“You’re so fucking hot, holy shit. This is so hot.” 

They must have signaled to each other, as they suddenly both left you empty, whimpering.

Brent set you down on the couch, kissing your forehead as he sat down next to you.

“You doing okay?” Jordan asked, stroking himself in front of you.

“More. M’need more.” you moaned, squeezing your thighs together.

Jordan chuckled, picking you up by your hips and softly setting you on top of Burnzie, both of you facing the captain. Brent wasted no time and lifted you up, his cock pulsating as he entered you. 

“Never did I ever think I would feel your asshole grip me so tight. You’re so small, fuck.” 

Jordan walked over as his friend fucked up into you from underneath, pushing himself in your pussy.

“There you go, baby. Is that all you wanted, to be filled up?”

“You’ve been such a little housewife to us. Fuck, who knew you’d be so dirty.” they said, finding their pace in and out of you again. 

It was so fucking much, and it was all you had wanted. Their groans filled up your empty apartment, sounds recoiling from the walls. 

“I’m not going to last much longer” Jordi managed to get out. 

“Please, give me more.” 

“You sound so good when you beg.” Brent grunted, now pushing your hips up and down on him. 

“More. More.” you whimpered.

Your moans and begs sent Jordan over the threshold, and before he could realize it, he came deep inside you, following his primal instincts to fill you up. Brent wasn’t much further behind as he felt your insides fill up with Jordan’s seed from where his cock was positioned.

“Oh, fuck, that’s so fucking hot” 

As soon as Jordan pulled out of you, Burnzie grabbed your hips, keeping you on top of him, and thrusted himself into your cunt, which was dripping out cum already. The last thrusts from Brent took your breath away, and you shook all over his lap, squirting once again all over them. Jordan stepped closer to you and rubbed your clit hard as you exploded again. That’s all it took for Burnzie’s hips to come flush with yours, spurting himself with a loud growl inside your walls, already covered with yours and Jordan’s cum. 

Silence filled the room, except for your chests, heaving. Your body fell completely limp on top of Brent, who was becoming soft inside you. Jordan sat down next to you.

“You okay?” he said, tucking your hair behind your ear.

You nodded, unable to get any words out. 

“Was that alright?” Burnzie asked, sitting up and wrapping his arms around you.

“Way more than alright.” you whispered.

The player set you down, laying you on the couch, while Jordan fetched a warm washcloth to wipe you down.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” you whispered, with a chuckle, before the two guys could lay back down with you, covering you with kisses and caresses.

“It’s the least we can do.”

[weaintashescltv]

Whenever I try to think about why Daryl and Carol appeal to me so much as characters, I can practically smell the smoke from the gears grinding inside my head and it's not because a reason doesn't exist. Honestly, I think they drew themselves onto my love map so softly and quietly, it escaped my conscious memory when it first happened and now I just accept that they're there in permanent ink.

I know that intuitively, people search for something familiar and that's what they tend to latch onto, but as far as characters go, as far as the types of portrayals that are shown on screen-- neither Daryl nor Carol are really that familiar. How many male heroes are barely sexualized season after season? How many female heroes have short, grey hair?

It's the nuances I've come to appreciate the most. It's the fact that they both started out as underdogs, people with bad tempers or zero survival skills who reveal there's so much more to them, more fundamentally human qualities whether they're as painful as intimacy issues, low self-esteem, and loneliness or as pleasantly surprising as loyalty, humility, and resilience. In watching their transformation, both individually and together, they've given me something new and exciting to root for.

When it comes to relationships, everyone's so used to young adults with an immediate sexual attraction like Glenn and Maggie. Then there's Rick and Michonne whose unanticipated union can at best be understood in retrospect (don't come for me, I like them together). Daryl and Carol are refreshing in the sense that they've been allotted the time and space to slowly and continuously push the boundaries of what they mean to each other. I can watch every small step as they're taken and ponder what the next one will be, waiting and wanting to experience a moment of pure, hard gratification.

It's said that they were both damaged from abuse, which naturally pulled them into each other's orbits while Sophia's death sealed their fate as friends. I agree their shared pain paved the way for effortless interactions, but ultimately, their friendship is rooted in something much brighter. Daryl and Carol motivate each other to strive for more than a life of solitude and suffering. They're each other's source of light. They embody the hope they need to not only survive but to embrace happiness. That's important even in a post-apocalyptic show in which tragedy and horror constantly set the tone. The characters need comfort and relief. The audience needs to see that there's light at the end of the tunnel. That's what Daryl's and Carol's relationship has always offered, and to not see it all the way through?

"Carol is a mother figure to Daryl" and "Daryl and Carol are siblings" rightfully trigger those who view them romantically, but as a writer, the one that gets me is that romance would "ruin their friendship." On the contrary, a well-established bond is what makes a romance feel *earned,* like there is a satisfying narrative reason behind it. Both Daryl's and Carol's journeys have always been about learning how to express the love they carry in bulk and how to accept it in return. They're both lone wolves who don't really want to be alone, and they both deserve a constant in their lives, a "soulmate" or a "life partner" if you will. They're the only ones who fulfill all of each other's criteria.

When something as special as Caryl exists, there are many creative and business reasons why it should be nurtured and eventually allowed to reach it's full potential. I've given the show the benefit of the doubt over and over again. They're telling a longform story, I said. The ambiguity and the baiting will pay off eventually, I said. Big time, I said. But in light of the spinoff disaster, I am feeling disillusioned.

There are networks and creative teams that fight tirelessly to honor their stories and the audience. They exist, but what I'm seeing right now with AMC/TWDU is the prioritization of franchising at the expense of everything that's supposed to matter: the showrunner's vision, character continuity, viewer satisfaction. Their business model is to milk the cash cow, dangle the carrot, make us believe we'll get what we want until they snatch it back just to keep us hanging on for another year.

It's somewhat baffling because clearly Caryl is a win-win. Their fanbase is huge as evidenced by things like Tumblr's top 100 list, the TV Guide poll, Twitter polls, and more, yet we have to sit through nearly whole seasons where it's crickets aside from a few beats? Quite possibly no canon ever? Not just canon for it's own sake, but something worth 12 years of build-up?

Tease the hell out of it along with every other possible ship under the sun including one with a teenage girl, but under no circumstances let this man express overt sexual interest in Carol? Nevermind that it makes emotional sense because ultimately...what? What is it? A narrow (and narrow-minded) demographic wouldn't tolerate bad boy, bachelor Daryl Dixon with a woman who has grey hair?

Trying to deny and/or hide Caryl is wrong on so many levels. It insults a devoted audience. It insults Carol and Caryl. It insults Melissa. (And no, Leah does not check that "progressive" box. Leah had a brunette wig when she and Daryl were romantically involved. )

Am I jumping the gun here? Well, I hope so. But these are my concerns unless I'm fully reassured otherwise.

[reikunrei]

okay, so, i watched free! the final stroke vol.2 today and i just need to put my Thoughts somewhere.  this will contain spoilers but isn’t any real analysis or anything

i went into it being a little worried, bc folks had been watching it the last few days and i kept seeing lots of people say they were disappointed, etc.  therefore, i went into it expecting to be disappointed while still thinking i’d at least have fun.  ultimately, i think going into it thinking i’d be disappointed made me come out having enjoyed it!  at least, a little bit lol.

basically, i wouldn’t say that i was “disappointed” but more that i was very underwhelmed.

it had some fun moments!  lots of stuff with the underclassmen which made me very happy, since they’ve been shoved aside a lot as of late.  parts that were meant to be serious were very easy to make fun of, which is what i look forward to in this show tbh.  like i loved the asshole baby Haru talking back to adult Haru, and then was ultimately heartwarmed when adult Haru broke through to baby Haru at the very end, i thought that was sweet.  it was fun to see Sousuke come back into his own, and i enjoyed seeing everyone working together in training and whatnot.  i just love seeing them all be friends!

which leads me into how i’m glad that they got through the “Haru is being brooding and distant” really quickly.  perhaps a little too quickly, but it was far better than saving it until the very end (*cough* season 3 being the same runaround every episode until episode 8 *cough*).  i could go more into detail about what i did/didn’t like about this whole thing with Haru and Rin fighting and Haru shutting himself off from everyone else and thrusting himself into swimming so much that he drains his battery completely, but i’m getting over a gnarly cold and don’t feel like thinking too hard.  ultimately, i think it was an interesting direction to take the story, but wasn’t executed as well as it could have been.

but again, overall, i enjoyed that it happened within the first half of the movie so that the second half could be them reconciling, Haru realizing his true potential (that we already learned the source of in season 1 but whatever he can have the same arc over and over again i eat that shit up the power of friendship reigns supreme), and getting to see him really show everyone else what he’s made of.

my biggest issue ultimately with it was how there was a lot of lost potential.  i feel like they could’ve and should’ve leaned more heavily into the Haru/Albert parallel, and how they are like two sides of the same coin.  like Albert was posed as such a big, important character starting in s3, he was the driving force for this new arc in Haru’s character, and he just sort of... petered out?  i feel like a really strong direction would have been to have them basically switch spots.  like, Albert learns how to swim freely like Haru by nurturing strong bonds between friends and doing it simply because you want to, and Haru falling really deeply into the cold, sterile loneliness that Albert was forced into.

that’s the other thing!  we started to see Albert pushing back against his coach, but we never actually saw him break free from it.  it was just sort of posed and then never resolved.  and i feel like it would be really powerful to have had him see Haru swim, learn from him, and then come back and teach that to Haru again.  like Haru’s methods makes Albert stronger, and Albert comes around and says hey, my guy, YOU taught me this.  my way is not the best way.  do it because you enjoy it, and that’s it.

in terms of lost potential, the relationship with Albert was my biggest letdown, purely because he was so hyped up only for him to just sort of... fizzle out.  and i feel like that happened with almost all of the character relationships.  they all just sort of... petered out.  hell, even the final relay felt really lackluster!  in every single other season, the final relays/races make me cry.  even as a certified season 3 hater, watching Haru and Ikuya do the medley relay together makes me cry!  because it’s this big, powerful breakthrough moment for the both of them.

nothing will ever beat the high i felt watching the season 2 final relay.  that shit ruled so hard and the fact that this FINAL final relay didn’t even come close is SUCH a letdown.  like i’m honestly shocked they dropped the ball so hard on it.  like, the intervention with Haru should have been something more dramatic or something!  it was very just “oh hey let’s all hang out on this rooftop pool for a bit” like even the race between Haru and Rin, while more exciting than the final relay, was very just like. okay.  i was just glad to have such a blatant example of crybaby Rin again, but the substance of the race, of their conversation... it was very lackluster.

i’ll be entirely honest too, i actually was really happy with it... until the very end.  like i said at the top, having gone into it expecting to be disappointed, i was pleasantly surprised that i was having so much fun watching it.  bc i really did!  i did have fun watching it!  it was just not a good ending to the series.

i was actually pretty happy with it where it ended before the credits rolled.  i didn’t super love how they just touched on Haru quitting swimming, and then saying he came back again anyway??  like let me TELL YOU i am the biggest proponent for Haru quitting competitive swimming.  it would have been SUCH a great conversation to have, in that he loves swimming, he loves doing this thing with his friends, and he might even enjoy competing sometimes under the right circumstances, but it’s just not good for him.  how GREAT would it have been for him to realize that.  to look at himself shutting down, to have his friends constantly voicing their worry for him, and him going, “oh. i can’t do this,” and having to come to terms with that.  having his FRIENDS have to come to terms with that.  it would have been SO GOOD and been a great story in trying to find a dream, and feeling like it’s okay to go back on that, and your true friends will always back you up even if they’re upset about it at first.  it would have even been a great parallel with Rin quitting swimming as a kid!  but this time it’s a good thing!  like dude!

anyway.

while i did sort of hate that they totally glossed over the quitting and returning thing, i was just sort of like oh cool, i like this sort of ambiguous but happy ending!  idk who this Haru/Makoto lovechild woman is that they keep cutting to closeups of who seems to know who Haru is!  is it his mom!  i can’t remember what she looks like bc she’s never around!  idk!

and then.  the post credits stuff was just.  a mixed bag?  and ultimately made me dislike it more LMAO.  the one thing i really liked was that Haru dug up the time capsule from season 2 and read his letter to himself again, that made me really happy!  bc that was something that i really really really wanted to be remembered.  like that’s something that could have totally been forgotten, but i’m glad it was found and touched on, even if it was just at the very end.

the stuff i didn’t like was.  basically everything else LOL.  mostly because it felt so weird to think that none of these people talk to each other.  like i get it, we’ve long established that Haru doesn’t use his phone or keep in contact with people, but it felt so WRONG for it to just be like “yeah i was in the hospital for a month, i’m doing rehab now, hi Makoto, who had to come hunt me down in hungary and randomly run into me on the street” like WHAT!!!!  hello????  it felt like there was no growth at all.  wasn’t the whole point of the movie, and the WHOLE SHOW, to strengthen the bonds between friends?  and reconnect with old friends?

like i guess you could argue that it’s like “they’re bonded forever.  even if they don’t see each other for a while, they’ll find each other and it’ll be like no time has passed at all” because like.  that was a whole thing and my favorite part of s2, about how “it’s not our last summer together” but like. it just felt so WRONG and backward to display it like that.  it just felt. hollow. and bad.  especially for characters such as Haru and Makoto who are so closely tied to one another and some shade of codependent.  it’s not that it couldn’t have been explored, but it wasn’t even explored.  it was just thrust upon us, and it felt really forced and left an unsavory taste in my mouth.

i think it just sort of felt rushed.  and there was a lot of potential that was set up in s3 and fs1 that just wasn’t followed through on in a satisfying way.  so while there were fun moments, and it was great to see my kids all together again in new scenes and interactions, it was just very. meh.

so okay, i think i’ve talked myself into being disappointed in it.  i’m not really too upset though, because i did indeed still have fun watching it, and will have fun watching it again in the future.  but the show should have ended after season 2 when it was in its prime.

[unmeinoniwa]

@minarcana | moved from legacy post (2).

ㅤㅤTHERE was nothing that could be done about the fact that Urianger retained little to no memories about his time in the library ( this was a rule that was essential to ensure the safety of Yggdrasil ) so there was certainly nothing to feel dejected about. All that mattered was that he was so graciously accepted into Urianger’s tutelage despite the unusual circumstances that brought them together. Theodore had never done something like this before so there was still an aspect of reluctance that lingered especially since the promise made between them was a memory locked behind a fleeting dream. However, he was happy enough to be standing here in the world of the waking despite being accepted out of pure curiosity. Although, he certainly did notice the air of awkwardness that surfaced from the sentimental gratitude that most likely came out of nowhere. 

ㅤㅤ“ ... Thank you, once again from the bottom of my heart. I ... understand there’s a bit of a disconnect with our memories so please don't feel inclined to return the sentiment in any form. I admittedly got a bit too sentimental and wanted to express my gratitude but I suppose it would make more sense to pour my heart out to the you in the world of dreams. I - in any case ... I have at least spoken with some of the other Scions but I do feel the most comfortable with you at the moment. I hope I won't be intruding upon your company too much but if you need some time alone then please don’t hesitate to tell me. My main purpose here is to observe from the sidelines after all and of course, to enjoy all the knowledge that Eorzea has to offer. I won’t be doing much other than pouring over the tomes here so please don’t mind me too much. ” It was quite intentional that Theodore was doing all he could to appear as trivial as possible considering that he played no part in the story so if Urianger chose to pay him little mind then he would accept that. If he did just the opposite then well ... he would be happy ! Theodore truly didn’t ask for much when it came to any newfound connections and besides, he would be content staying at Urianger's side even if nothing profound would bloom between them.

ㅤㅤAh.

ㅤㅤOh ... oh dear. Urianger heard any of these thoughts then surely he would be turned off by how dependent Theodore already was on him. Was this the result of having no friends for years on end ? Perhaps it was best to not get too eager when it came to nurturing their friendship. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Urianger uncomfortable.

ㅤㅤ" With that being said ... um ... do you mind if ... " He began to fidget, a fluster gradually returning to his cheeks. " ... If you'd be open to allowing me to spoil you with more affections in the future ? O - of course it won't be a frequent thing but ... it is quite nice to be able to be a bit affectionate with those I care about. However I completely understand if such contact is uncomfortable so um ... don't mind it too much if that's the case. " What did we say about being too eager ?!

[parenting-attachment]

MY STORY SLM

EMDR

Part: letting go of SLM

Donating bone marrow Kevin and Becca set up date. I was inclined because she had an interest other wise I would not have had the courage to pursue. I did not have the personal tools for relationship!

It was not love at first sight... I was not looking for a relationship... I was looking for clarity... thinking it was cognitive... I had no concept of what I know now as fear of attachment ... the only self care was coming from my inner critic... workout, work hard! Because she had an interest in me I picked up on it. I was desperate to attach to a positive roll model... pure valued, loyal, smart, courageous, wise, attentive, I wanted all those things but I was unregulated with unresolved toxic shame, fearful attachment, inner/outer critic(controlling, demanding/OCD/, Hypervigalent, ... she was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt and help me change knowing how traumatized ACES adverse childhood experiences. I wanted to change but I was overwelmed with untreated CPTSD. It took over my life. My traumatized parts were in constant state of disregulation... 4F's,

I depended on her for consoling, sexual dopamine hits, she was my source of nurturing, protection, and spiritual compass. All things I needed to find/source for myself BTW! I learned as a kid that I needed to meet my parents emotional needs. SLM learned that as well. Instead I needed to meet my own emotional needs.

Also, I was not capable of being Vulnerable ... it was foreign to me.

I witnessed some level of it with Paul and his dad... but Paul was ready to leave the home after HS! I think his parents were authoritative... affirm but loving

Me- neglected uninterested uninvolved controlling demand obedience without considering child's vie friendship...

Controlling/demanding -- to complete freedom

Cold & unresponsive I loving & receptive

TOP LEFT QUAD AUTHORITATIVE (respected and freedom with limits, parents listen and lay down rules, parents support kid when he has hardships, feels like understands as an adult) / TOP RIGHT Q PERMISSIVE (parent fulfill all kids wishes, grows up w/out boarders and didn't learn how to control emotions, doesn't know his limits.)

BOTTOM LEFT QUAD AUTHORITARIAN (love, strict rules, suppress emotions, obedient but as an adult doesn't know what she wants unhappy inside / BOTTOM RIGHT QUAD NEGLECTFUL: not present so kid feels alone but freedom , lots of imagination, never receives feedback or attention, lack of trust , insecurely attached, try's not to feel anything at all)

OVERINVOLVED - don't have tools to figure things out on own.

AUTHORITATIVE / PERMISSIVE

-----------------------------------------

AUTHORITARIAN / NEGLECTFUL

[slmwife]

MY STORY SLM

EMDR

Part: letting go of SLM

Donating bone marrow Kevin and Becca set up date. I was inclined because she had an interest other wise I would not have had the courage to pursue. I did not have the personal tools for relationship!

It was not love at first sight... I was not looking for a relationship... I was looking for clarity... thinking it was cognitive... I had no concept of what I know now as fear of attachment ... the only self care was coming from my inner critic... workout, work hard! Because she had an interest in me I picked up on it. I was desperate to attach to a positive roll model... pure valued, loyal, smart, courageous, wise, attentive, I wanted all those things but I was unregulated with unresolved toxic shame, fearful attachment, inner/outer critic(controlling, demanding/OCD/, Hypervigalent, ... she was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt and help me change knowing how traumatized ACES adverse childhood experiences. I wanted to change but I was overwelmed with untreated CPTSD. It took over my life. My traumatized parts were in constant state of disregulation... 4F's,

I depended on her for consoling, sexual dopamine hits, she was my source of nurturing, protection, and spiritual compass. All things I needed to find/source for myself BTW! I learned as a kid that I needed to meet my parents emotional needs. SLM learned that as well. Instead I needed to meet my own emotional needs.

Also, I was not capable of being Vulnerable ... it was foreign to me.

I witnessed some level of it with Paul and his dad... but Paul was ready to leave the home after HS! I think his parents were authoritative... affirm but loving

Me- neglected uninterested uninvolved controlling demand obedience without considering child's vie friendship...

Controlling/demanding -- to complete freedom

Cold & unresponsive I loving & receptive

TOP LEFT QUAD AUTHORITATIVE (respected and freedom with limits, parents listen and lay down rules, parents support kid when he has hardships, feels like understands as an adult) / TOP RIGHT Q PERMISSIVE (parent fulfill all kids wishes, grows up w/out boarders and didn't learn how to control emotions, doesn't know his limits.)

BOTTOM LEFT QUAD AUTHORITARIAN (love, strict rules, suppress emotions, obedient but as an adult doesn't know what she wants unhappy inside / BOTTOM RIGHT QUAD NEGLECTFUL: not present so kid feels alone but freedom , lots of imagination, never receives feedback or attention, lack of trust , insecurely attached, try's not to feel anything at all)

OVERINVOLVED - don't have tools to figure things out on own.

[casspurrjoybell-23]

Berserkr - Chapter 9 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Hello, Goodbye

"This gentleman here is Frode," Valie murmured, voice hushed and soothing while multicolored fingers caressed the velvety, obsidian coat of the majestic stallion.

"Frode and I have forged quite a fabulous friendship during my time here. He even responds so well to me calling his name already, don't you sweet Frode?" he prompted warmly, tenderly patting the soft spot just beneath the stallion's chin.

Frode kicked in response to Vali's kind words, gearing up as if ready to charge.

Throughout the course of the day following their reunion, Valie and Tofa had been granted the opportunity to reconnect, finding solace in each other's company within the cozy loft while their Alphas attended to their daily duties.

There, they immersed themselves in an exchange of stories, recounting the shared trials they endured following the devastating raid on their village.

Their heartfelt conversations evoked an abundance of smiles, tears and contagious laughter, so much so that they nearly found themselves forgetting about the looming threat to both their own and their Alpha's safety.

However, as the hours of animated discussion gradually waned, leaving behind only an atmosphere of gratitude for the other's companionship, Valie resolved to make the most of their remaining hours until their Alpha's return by introducing Tofa to his newfound circle of friends.

The stallion responded to Valie's previous inquiry with a moist breath of agreement, his mane swaying gracefully in a waterfall-like cascade of ebony strands around his face.

And as he stood beside his friend, Tofa quivered with a mixture of reverence and wonder, his small figure dwarfed several feet below the imposing shadow cast by the immense equine.

"He's... enormous," was all that Tofa managed to squeak out, intent on keeping his back firmly pressed firmly against the safe stall walls.

Valie simply giggled at that, nodding as he continued to massage his animal friend.

"That he is. And mighty powerful, too," the taller Omega praised, starlight blazing in his eyes as his love for all things equine shone through.

Valie's devotion to these magnificent creatures transcended mere admiration.

In them, he saw a reflection of his own spirit... relentless energy, unyielding in the face of adversity, yet gentle and nurturing when needed.

And in their presence, he found solace and inspiration.

As the stallion nuzzled affectionately against Vale, a soft sigh escaped the Omega's lips, carrying with it a sense of serenity, an emotion that seemed particularly elusive as of late.

"What about her?" Tofa offered, pointing a skinny finger toward the other side of the low stall wall.

It was obvious that the Omega wanted to emancipate himself from the overwhelming shadow cast by the gigantic creature that was Frode, one whose single misstep could potentially flatten him.

Valie followed the trajectory of Tofa's outstretched hand, his heterochromatic eyes shifting to view the pure white mare that had caught his attention during his very first descent down to the stables.

Since then, his connection with Frode had consumed most of his interactions, leaving only fleeting moments dedicated to the other mares, enough to tend to their hooves and manes.

Thus, his knowledge about the smaller equine remained limited, but he would gladly acquaint Tofa with her if that was what his friend desired.

"Well, from the short amount of time that I've spent with her, her temperament is a bit skittish. But once you earn her trust, she's just the sweetest," Valie explained, giving Frode one last nuzzle and pat before leading his friend... the human one... out of the stallion's enclosure.

After securing Frode's stall door with a gentle lowering of the lever, Vali turned his attention to the adjacent stall, moving to enter.

"But despite my best efforts, I still haven't been able to figure out her name," he pouted, a hint of frustration lacing his tone.

Tofa entered the next stall with considerably greater ease than the last, clearly feeling more confident in his capability to protect himself against this smaller equine should the need for such defense arise.

But as Valie leisurely caressed her muzzle, whispering soft, soothing sounds to calm her, the Omega couldn't help but notice that the mare's attention remained entirely fixated on... Tofa.

Valie's familiarity with creatures of the equine variety endowed him with a high level of perception, enabling him to discern that the mare's expression was not one of fear but rather one of trust.

It was as if she could perceive Tofa's innocence, understanding that he was safe without the need for verbal or physical confirmation.

Valie's lips curved into a gentle smile, captivated by the unspoken interplay unfolding before him.

"She's beautiful..." Tofa trailed off.

He reached out an arm toward the mare as if in a trance, maintaining eye contact until finally, his fingertips made contact with her satin coat, tangling into the long, ivory strands that made up her illustrious mane.

The mare leaned into Tofa's touch at once, drawn to the smaller Omega like a magnet finding its opposite pole.

And as she huffed, nuzzling her damp muzzle into Tofa's chest, the small man couldn't have stopped the exuberant giggle that bubbled forth from his chest even if he'd attempted to do so.

"'Yer a sweet one for sure, ya' are," Tofa commended amidst his fit of giggles, small hands traversing across every inch of the mare's snowy coat that he could reach.

Meanwhile, Valie watched on from the other side of the stall, a grin full of happiness pasting itself across his lips as he held witness to his best friend forging the beginnings of the sacred human-equine bond.

"I reckon 'yer called somethin' real lovely. Somethin' like..." Tofa continued in a low whisper, his words intended solely for the mare's ears.

He paused for a long moment, gathering his thoughts before taking his very best guess.

"Kjellfrid?" Tofa tried out the name on his tongue, only for it to be thrown back at him in the form of an irritated whinny from the mare.

"Apologies, apologies. I got it wrong, I surely did."

Luckily, the Omega was able to laugh off the mare's obvious frustration, getting right back on track to resume his efforts as he hummed to himself.

As he did so, he scratched just above the mare's wet muzzle in apology.

"How 'bout..."

Casting the mare a prolonged gaze, as if absorbing the very essence of her presence, Tofa prepared to take a second attempt at her name.

"Eyvor."

Tofa's voice barely exceeded a whisper but to his astonishment, it seemed that all that the mare needed to hear before she kicked out a gleeful neigh, bowing her head to rub her mane all across Tofa's rosy, flustered face.

"By Odin, could it be that I truly got it right?" Tofa exclaimed, mirroring the mare's excitement as if it were his own.

"It would seem so."

Valie moved in to celebrate with the happy pair, using his knuckles to massage the place below Eyvor's twitching ears.

Still smiling, he directed the joyous expression toward his dearest friend and fellow Omega.

"She utterly adores you, Tofa. Not that I'm surprised."

He winked.

Another sound of delight made its way up Tofa's throat as he pressed a soft kiss to the wide expanse of velvety skin between Eyvor's eyes.

"I wish I could ride her. Out there, under the sun," he said, his smile suddenly flickering low like a candle.

"I barely remember what the sun feels like, now."

Valie sensed the profound anguish that consumed his friend then, and without hesitation, he gravitated to Tofa's side, seeking solace in the touch of their hands.

"You will," Valie spoke his promise with a tone that left no room for compromise.

"The sun's radiance will grace your skin once more, Tofa. Moreover, you will revel in its warmth, liberated and untethered, riding on Eyvor's back with Kerr seated faithfully by your side."

He squeezed Tofa's hand as the smaller Omega exhaled shakily, meeting Valie's eyes with a wariness that told of his hesitance to believe.

"I swear it."

Tofa's response came in the form of a resigned sigh, accompanied by the faintest nod as he acknowledged Valie's bold aspirations.

"We can only offer our most desperate prayers," he murmured, voice a mere whisper.

"And if fortune favors us, maybe Odin will heed our plea."

"He will."

Vali's smile held a tinge of sorrow as he maintained an unwavering gaze upon his smaller friend.

In the wake of his own fear, the feeble words were all that he could offer.

"He will."

[adventureandchallengecourses]

Playground Designs: Crafting Spaces Where Imagination Takes Flight

Where Fun Meets Ingenuity

Hey there, fellow enthusiasts of the playful world! Imagine a canvas of joy where swings serenade the skies, slides spiral into excitement, and laughter dances in the air. Welcome to the magical realm of playground designs—where creativity meets engineering to craft spaces that beckon every child’s imagination.

Unveiling the Art of Playground Designs

The Playful Symphony of Elements

Playground designs are like orchestrating a symphony, blending vibrant elements that compose the perfect melody of fun and exploration. From classic swings and slides to climbing structures, merry-go-rounds, and beyond, these elements create a harmonious playground that’s more than the sum of its parts.

Innovative Thinking: Redefining Playtime

Ever thought of a playground as a laboratory for innovation? Innovators in playground design think beyond the norm, integrating technology, interactive features, and dynamic structures. These elements infuse playtime with a dash of wonder and discovery, transforming simple activities into adventures.

The Anatomy of Engaging Playgrounds

Safety: Balancing Thrills and Security

Safety isn’t a buzzkill; it’s the guardian angel of fun! Playground designs embrace safety measures like impact-resistant surfaces, strategically placed equipment, and proper supervision. They ensure that while kids leap, climb, and whirl, they do so in a secure environment.

Inclusive Design: A Playground for All

What if every child could swing to the sky? Inclusive playground designs break barriers, incorporating features that cater to kids of all abilities. From ramps and adaptive swings to sensory-stimulating elements, these designs foster a sense of belonging and equality for every child.

Impactful Playground Experiences

Physical Development: Play as Exercise

Picture this: the playground as a gym where fun and exercise shake hands. Engaging playground designs promote physical activity, aiding in the development of motor skills, coordination, and overall fitness. It's where running, jumping, and climbing are disguised as pure joy.

Cognitive Growth: Playful Learning

Who said learning only happens in classrooms? Playground designs stimulate cognitive growth by encouraging problem-solving, decision-making, and imaginative play. These spaces become outdoor classrooms where young minds thrive through exploration.

The Essence of Well-Designed Playgrounds

Community Building: Beyond Playmates

Playgrounds aren’t just for kids; they’re bustling hubs where communities converge. Well-designed spaces encourage social interaction, nurturing friendships among children and providing spaces for parents to connect—a patchwork quilt of camaraderie.

Nature Integration: Where Play Meets Serenity

Ever wandered into a playground that feels like a slice of nature? Designs integrating green spaces, trees for shade, and natural elements create an oasis of calm amidst the whirlwind of play. It's where adventure meets tranquility.

Designing Dreams, One Swing at a Time

As we bid adieu to this whirlwind tour of playground designs, remember that these spaces are more than just settings for play—they're catalysts for imagination, growth, and happiness. Each slide, swing, and climbing frame forms the building blocks of childhood memories, nurturing creativity and camaraderie.

So, let’s salute the playground designers, the maestros behind this symphony of fun, who craft spaces where laughter reverberates and dreams take flight. In this mosaic of swings and slides, let’s continue to innovate, ensuring that every playground becomes a testament to boundless imagination and endless possibilities.

After all, in the world of playground designs, every curve, every structure, and every giggle tells a story—a story of childhood, joy, and the magic of play.

[eurydicees]

Yes please! I'm always looking for good atla fics

oh bestie i GOTCHU !! i'm only gonna give u three for each category bc i have too many bookmarks and this list started getting insane not gonna lie to u. i tried to do ones that i haven’t seen on rec lists before bc i feel like there are, like, ten of the same ones on every single list and i wanna give some love to other fics. these are just in the order that i bookmarked them in. if ur looking for anything more specific or anything for another fandom PLEASE hmu again !!!

atla genfic faves

fault line by beachtablecloth

“So. Prince Zuko. Are the rumors true?”

Zuko freezes, chopsticks halfway to his mouth.

“Depends what you heard.”

oh man oh man oh man. LOVE a good 41st division-related fic. love a good zuko’s scar fic. love a good toph & zuko friendship fic. oh man. HIGHLY recommend this. 

things lost in the fire by earlygreylover98

The wanted poster had the scar on the wrong side.

Maybe he didn’t care enough to look at the poster before it got sent out. Or maybe, Ozai didn’t actually remember which side of his son’s face he had burned off all those years ago. Zuko wasn’t sure what was worse. Ozai had know which side the scar was on. He had to remember. Right?

----

In which Zuko isn't sure Ozai knows which side of his face he burnt off and it sends him spiraling.

yeah. when it comes to atla fics i have a Type. what abt it. 

this is a Really good take on the “scar on the wrong side” thing. it’s passed off as a joke in canon and it’s a total throwaway line, but like, this fic takes that and runs with it and it’s beautiful. love love love. 

It takes a village by MrSpockify

Ultimately, Zuko started off his banishment as a thirteen year-old child who had just been severely traumatized. This is a collection of stories revolving around the idea that Zuko's crew, a bunch of full-grown adults, would absolutely see him and immediately feel an overwhelming urge to nurture this poor kid.

8 part series, i rec every single one of them. GREAT platonic relationships between zuko & the crew, quality slice of life in pre-canon, and a really great look at zuko as a character pre-canon. 

yes i have a favorite character shut UP 

zukka faves 

everybody’s asking what you are to me by starkidpatronus 

“Well, go knock ‘em dead, tiger,” Sokka says with a sigh. It’s rare they get to see each other for purely social occasions these days. But it can’t be helped—they both have important jobs and it’s a busy time and that’s just the way it is.

“Wanna’ have drinks in my chambers tomorrow night?” Zuko suggests. He has a meeting that he’s sure will run late tonight and an important dinner with his Head Imperial Engineer tomorrow, but he should be free afterwards.

Sokka lights up at the offer. “Sounds great!”

Zuko smiles and leans down to press a kiss to Sokka’s lips. “See you then.”

He steps into the palace, which is where reality crashes into him.

~~~

Zuko and Sokka start kissing. As friends. Really.

it’s exactly what it sounds like and boy is it delicious 

blue and gold by lesmiserablol 

Sokka had heard about soulmates meeting for the first time, but nothing could have prepared him for the way that, as he began his attack to defend his tiny village, the world instantly burst into color. He and his soulmate, the boy getting off the Fire Nation ship, locked eyes and stared at each other for several moments. Sokka’s eyes were wide in disbelief, while his soulmate had a blank look of shock on his face that turned into steely resolve as he kicked Sokka off the gangway in one smooth motion.

GREAT soulmate stuff. we all know i love a good soulmate au and man does this one provide! 

Strange Young World by CSHfic, VSfic

In the weeks following the war, Zuko faces a gauntlet of Agni Kai challengers. Sokka worries.

yeahhhhhh babyyyyyy this is the GOOD fire lord zuko angst

misc atla faves

fear by doctrpepper

“we need to fly the rest of the way,” sokka warns as the gondola comes to a halt, and it's only then that he realizes that, in all the time he and the others had known zuko, none of them had ever seen his wings

or, in which i think wing fics are cool and try to work the mechanics into the atla universe

this slaps so hard. it’s tagged as pre-relationship zukka, which is why i put it here, but it can pretty much be read as platonic imo if you’re not into the whole zukka thing! i like this fic bc i think wing aus slap and there aren’t enough of them, but also bc it has quality zuko angst, and i like sokka’s characterization here

teach myself how to die by sinkburrito 

They have a quiet understanding. There is no love in the Fire Nation, not in Azula’s city, and certainly not between two girls. They are not in love, because love does not exist here, and even if it did, there would be no talking of it. Instead, they have a wordless bond, one that manifests in the way that Ty Lee can read Mai like a book and how Mai always knows when Ty Lee is upset. Azula’s blue fire scorches everything that could burn brighter than itself, so Mai and Ty Lee very deliberately do not burn. And if they did, they would hide that little light, hide it from the wind and the fire and the horrible storm that rages around them. But they don’t, and they aren’t, so it doesn’t matter.

(a look at mai and ty lee and how they got to the boiling rock)

makes me feel a lot of feelings. the kind that burn a little bit but also sting at ur eyes but also make everything feel a little lighter. 

As the Tides Recede by TheMadHatterOfficial

Slices of life after the war, with maybe some from during the war as well.

It’s been a hot sec since i’ve read these not gonna lie but i remember having, like, visceral human reactions of angst to each of them. gonna give these a reread now myself actually brb

finally, reccing my own fics bc i’m full of myself and want attention :P 

maybe before the world ends (can we be brave?) 

Love is a kind of bravery, and Mai isn't sure if she has it anymore. There was a time when the two of them could be together, but getting caught and separated between city and circus and Azula has a way of changing things like that.

While chasing the Avatar, Ty Lee finds her in her room, and Mai tries to find courage again.

honestly y’all slept on this fic :( 

another word for wanting

Sokka begins to dream of his soulmate when he's eleven years old, and it just gets harder from there. Or, 125 moments soulmates share, and none of them come easy.

(In which your dreams are your soulmate's memories, and Sokka dreams of an all-consuming fire, growing and eating at his soulmate until it burns up the connection between their souls. In which they find love anyways.)

by FAR my most popular fic. like. it’s not even a contest at this point. and i think that’s hilarious. not even my best atla fic tbh but here we are. i’ll put it on here ig 

the cycling of fire

Aang is twelve years old, and somehow the world doesn't care about that. Aang is a child, and somehow the world is not showing him mercy.

Or, Zuko reflects on the fact that Aang is a child, and they have too many nightmares in common.

yea this one’s my best atla fic and i stand by that