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oceanbaby888 · 2 years

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PAC: What Are You Meant to Experience? 🦋✨🌎🗺

Note: Do Not Steal My Work. Get ya own cards and put in the effort honey.

-Hey y’all!! 🥹✨💕

-I’m back with another reading about what you’re meant to experience in this lifetime before you transition. Mind you, of course we humans are going to experience so much in the course of our lives, yet paradoxically we have certain events or experiences that the Universe, Spirit, and the Ancestors (do tailor it to your specific beliefs) wants us to experience to learn and grow on our own specific path. These lessons may also be harsh and some may be euphoric, but it’s all part of our human journey. So with that being said let’s just go over the basics.

1. It’s okay if it doesn’t resonate. Maybe these messages aren’t aligned for you, or at least for you right now. And that’s fine.

2. Please select the one you resonate with most (pics are from Pinterest)

3. Tips are appreciated at $DellyRelly.

4. These readings are for entertainment purposes only.

Pick an aesthetic:

Pile 1:

Pile 2:

Pile 3:

Pile 1:

Cards: 9 of Swords--The Lovers--8 of Wands--Queen of Pentacles--The Situation Will Improve--Don't Stop--In The Near Future

Connection. Love. Partnerships. This pile is meant to experience what it is like to have healthy connections in their lives, and that isn't limited to romantic love. With the 9 of Swords and The Situation Will Improve, this pile may have struggled with finding love (romantic, familial, or/and platonic) that is truly reciprocal of the love they give. This pile really seems to be a lover and not a fighter. And that's beautiful, but I can see it may have cost you alot mentally trying to find those healthy connections. Maybe you felt alot of anguish because you have gotten the "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself" lecture before, yet I personally don't believe in that since loving oneself is a deeply complex, ongoing process. Or if not, you may have gave up on finding true connection due to the past. I will say though that your guides may be teaching you to not waste your love and benignity on people who don't deserve it, and learn to respect yourself enough to either be with people who are genuine towards you or just be with yourself until they come along. Because it will only send you back into this 9 of Swords energy. This pile may have some significant 7H placements and part of your soul path in this lifetime is to share pivotal moments with a partner or within a community. And not just any kind of partner/community, one that is stable, understanding, peaceful, and nurturing with the Queen of Pentacles here. Fortunately I do see some manifestation of this energy with the 8 of Wands, Don't Stop, and In the Near Future. It seems that there is going to be an event where you may end up with a significant other or find a community of people that really understand your need of having genuine, healthy connections, because they want it too. The Lovers also talks about alignment and mirroring. So since you've been very adamant about having good connections and being true to yourself despite the pain it cost you (plus learning the lesson of that pain), the Universe has granted you the opportunity to actually make those kinds of connections. Yet, your guides also want you to know that in order for these connections to grow you can't go in them with the 9 of Swords baggage. They want you to understand that everything has risk, but what you want is always worth a shot. So I wish you the best for your partnerships and community Pile 1! Interdependence is how the human race survives. It's our basic instinct. So there's nothing wrong with wanting healthy interdependence. See you later!

Pile 2:

Cards: Ace of Swords--4 of Cups--King of Cups--9 of Cups--Trust--Yes!--Compromise

More emotions and willingness to surrender to your intuition. Less leaning on logic and trying to do what you think is right. Embodying moon energy. This pile is made of only swords and cups, and personally when I see this kind of suit combination I like to think of it as logic vs. emotion. And deeming you have so many more cup cards with one sword card, you're meant to experience your emotional side. And yes, it is in you...it is. I'm not going to lie I 1000% understand why this may be difficult for some. Why lean on emotions when they can be messy and not lead anywhere you need to be? Leaning on logic can be good as it helps you strategize, yet leaning too much on that can cut you off of feeling human and stop this King of Cups energy of emotional maturation. The answer here is compromise. For some of you, this compromise also means being more emotionally honest to others in your life, and actually getting your emotional needs met with the 9 of Cups here. And being honest with yourself & stop pretending shit don't hurt your feelings with the 4 of cups & trying to intellectualize your feelings. Because where is that getting you in terms of processing your emotions? This is not to clock you as I have this issue as well, but it's just to get you started on thinking about this. When we rationalize our feelings too much we miss our intuition that was trying to tell us someone was really try to play in our face, but instead we made a reason for it instead of trusting it. Speaking of, I keep looking at this trust card and it's screaming that this pile needs to start trusting their intuition more. Again, with compromise make sure to balance a healthy amount between logic and emotion as you start this process of emotional maturation. The King of Cups is a romantic king, but Kings still have to make logical decision as well as emotional ones. There has to be a balance. I feel like with this Ace of Swords here there may be an event (doesn't have to be dramatic) that will trigger you to begin thinking about your emotional side. Like what someone may say to you for example. This hand in the 4 of cups will only hold up for so long until it just drops the cup on you and say "hey baby, you need to pay attention." That why the proceeding card is the 5 of cups, being sad that this is the reality of our emotional state. But the thing is, it's a beautiful new beginning for your Pile 2. Yes its hard in a society where the whole spectrum of human emotions are look down upon. Yet, you need to do this introspective work for you. You can't keep going around not listening to your own inner guidance. You have an intuition for a reason. And let's start processing those emotional blockages so you can become more confident in your emotions just like your logic. I'm rooting for you Pile 2! It's okay if this is a messy journey, it's what you're meant to experience. Your guides will definitely make sure you see it through. Later!

Pile 3:

Cards: Justice--6 of cups--Death--10 of Cups--Wait--Yes--Ask Your Angels

Patience. Living in the present. Balance. This pile is meant to experience what it is like to go with the flow. Especially with this Wait card here. I'm really feeling that some of yall in this pile are very much future oriented, and are always looking for the next big thing to happen with the Death card here. Yet, since Justice does represent Libra, there's a need to slow down and wait for a time of balance. It's like getting of the treadmill at the gym. Do you just go lift 30 pounds after sweating out 10 miles on the treadmill, or do you take a minute a wait it out for your body to balance itself again? This pile seems very Venusian. It's meant to experience slowness and happiness and peace with the 6 of cups and 10 of cups after a Death period. With the 6 of cups you may reminisce on life before this Death period came. To clarify, I mean Death period as in any significant change in your life that basically was so pivotal it changed your life perspective ever since. It's okay to reminisce but don't forget you're meant to experience living in the present. And trust me that's hard, that's why I'm glad this ask your angels card is here. Because they want you to lean on them after Death phase. Because the Death card is powerful transformation on a spiritual level as well. I'm getting that for some yall are meant to experience what peace is like after the storm. Maybe you've always had a strong family/community (6 of cups) that shielded you from such events (sheltered is coming to me as well). But now its time for you to learn how to experience stressful events and understand that this too shall pass. And be patient with yourself in the process. I'm getting the sense this pile is young, hence why this "learning to experience stressful events and understanding it will pass" is coming up. And understand you can't rush to this 10 of cups. You have to embody the Justice and Wait card and let time balance things out and go with the flow. And understand after awhile the past is behind you. I don't want to come off as toxic positivity, but this group may not have had too much experience with how to deal with life's stressful moments. And I'm getting yall are very introverted especially with two Scorpio cards here (6 of cups and Death). Even if you aren't young, you can't always shield yourself away from life's bad moments. And with this yes card, yes you will make it through and you’ll be okay, no matter how long the healing process takes. One thing I learned is that life will play so you gotta play back and lean back. This is chess not checkers. And when you do, you'll see this 10 of cups energy much sooner. Later!

I hope you all enjoyed this and learned something from it! Happy Lunar Eclispe! See yall later!

-Claude 🔥💖🦋🌎✨

#tarotladytalks #pac readings #pac tarot #pac reading #pick a pile reading #pick a card tarot #pick a card youtube #pick a picture #pick a pile #black spirituality #black women tarot readers #tarot readings #tarot #tarotlove #oceanbaby888 #pick a card reading

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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hi everyone- anon who said they “didn’t understand aplatonic” here. thank you all for your explanations of the label- i can’t say i fully get it yet, but it’s definitely a start and i’m very grateful for that. either way, i know that not fully understanding something doesn’t mean i can’t respect and appreciate it. i tried to communicate that in the original ask but i don’t think i did too good of a job there. i mainly struggle with this because for me “love” means compassion/connection and i value my friends incredibly highly- i kind of forgot that “love” is a very vague word and means very different things for different people. i also forgot that there are more ways to love than platonically, romantically or sexually. and also that all of these forms of attraction can exist independently (even if, for example, a romantic relationship without platonic attraction wouldn’t “work” for me, personally). thank you all for your patience and for leading me on the right track to understanding this, since i’d much prefer that to not understanding. even if i never fully get it, though, i will always have respect and compassion for the people who use the label. i didn’t mean to dehumanize/pathologise anyone, and i’m genuinely sorry for doing so. thanks again for your patience, i appreciate you all and hope you’re having a nice day :)

#aplatonic #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose

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mermaidsirennikita · 8 months

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ARC Review: Friends Don't Fall in Love by Erin Hahn

4.25/5. Releases 10/17/2023.

Vibes: country music, BIG PINING, heroes who really really love to go down, and... its always the quiet ones

Craig Boseman (or "Huck", as he's known to one person in particular) writes hits for his friend, country star Drake Colter, with little to no credit. He let it go--until Lorelai Jones, Drake's fiancee, is canceled for singing a protest song and is promptly dumped by Drake. After sharing one night together, Craig and Lorelai go their separate ways... until they reconnect years later. Now Lorelai wants to take another shot at country stardom. And she needs Craig's help.

Friends to lovers is a challenge to make exciting, but I was drawn in by how quickly this book establishes the emotional stakes. I understood why Craig didn't make a move immediately; it made sense to me. Plus, he and Lorelai were such charming characters with strong, believable chemistry--I just wanted to see what they did next. The result is a hot, sweet, sometimes cathartic romcom. And you don't have to be a country fan to enjoy it.

Quick Takes:

--The thing about Craig and Lorelai's relationship is that while they are "friends" when the book begins, the sexual and romantic tension is there immediately. It's there that first night, when they drunkenly hook up after Lorelai's career and relationship implodes. It's there when they exist as regular old platonic friends--and mind you, they're practically roommates as Lorelai rents one half of a duplex from Craig. It never feels like these people miss one another's appeal. They don't suddenly wake up and see each other "in a different way". The connection and attraction was always there. But Craig understandably didn't feel he could make a move when Lorelai was with Drake (a classic setup if there ever was one) and Lorelai... wasn't ready, in my opinion.

--Honestly, despite being a nice girl with her heart in the right place (Lorelai's cancellation is linked to protesting the second amendment--a big no no for country singers) Lorelai is refreshingly flawed and human. While she isn't immature, she is perhaps a bit emotionally stunted, not prepared to accept Craig's feelings until he is so certain that she couldn't possibly want him the way he wants her. Their conflict is less about either one majorly fucking up than it is about two people who've put off giving a relationship a chance for so long that when the tension finally snaps, they really don't trust it. I found this super compelling, and as a sidebar, I really loved that they were in their thirties. They didn't have their shit together 100%, but there was a marked difference to the way they handled their emotions that first night and the way they confronted their feelings with years of experience later.

I will say that towards the end I could've used a little more conflict, but that's because I'm a conflict queen. By no means is this book angst-free or without drama.

--One thing I really enjoyed about this book was the sense of friendship? Often, I feel that friends are just there to be there in a lot of recently published romances. Here, the girl talk especially really seemed authentic. There's one scene wherein Lorelai is essentially recapping a recent hookup with Craig, and it's so fucking messy. Because she is BEING messy. And it's both genuinely hilarious and emotional. It felt like a conversation I would have with my friends, and I so appreciated it.

--For the record, his name is Craig, but Lorelai nicknamed him "Huck" (more a reference to the line in Tombstone than the book, a SOLID choice). This helps the Craig part. But also, he somehow pulled it off, because he is quite hot.

--How hard does the country music aspect of this book work? It's present enough for it to feel like Hahn knows her shit and put thought into it, but it's not overly heavy. These are not twang-y fake rednecks, which I find a lot in contemporary romances written by people who think the south is So Charming (I say as a southerner). Craig and Lorelai love country music, and Craig does refer to himself (in a derogatory manner) as a "country boy" at some point. But these are clearly both savvy Nashville music scene people. They know what they're about, they're not corny or silly.

And the musicians referenced are a good mix of classic country and new country, which I appreciated. So often, books like these reference people who were famous like 20 years ago but didn't really stand the full test of time. Here, it felt like the author got country music as an industry--and it's a huge one--and while she clearly loves the music, she's not shy about the issues inherent to it.

None of that is like, ROMANTIC but it's an important part of writing a good book. It elevates the story.

The Sex:

Yes--there are good sex scenes in this book. Sex scenes that are extremely focused on cunnilingus--Craig is very into giving, and I was not mad at it. Nor was Lorelai! There's one scene in particular where this man just like... hits the floor. And it is incredibly good. The climactic (in more ways than one) sex scene? So good.

Also, Craig writes erotic poetry. Mostly about eating pussy. And posts it anonymously on Instagram. This level of "aw shucks I'm a normal guy" slutitude was just too much for me in the best possible way. This girl is just scrolling through her friend's pussy poetry Insta, knowing it's him from the jump, SWEATING.

This was a really fun, emotional book that didn't skimp on the relationships or the sex. Again, I usually don't like friends to lovers--so the fact that I enjoyed this one so much is a testament to how engaging it is. I definitely plan on reading more from Erin Hahn.

Thanks to St. Martin's Griffin and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #arc reviews #netgalley #book recs #book reviews #books

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bisexualafbuck · 1 year

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my issue with this whole "if one of them was female" argument is that it practically says that we cannot watch any meaningful deep relationships between men and women at all because they *must* lead to romance and sex in a narrative (else it is automatically judged as "bad writing" or what... "heterobaiting"?) 🤡 i have to deal with that as a bisexual irl already and it's just... sad. that we cannot acknowledge that some people love each other deeply and platonically, and that this is not inferior to a romantic relationship. we see not a single hint that eddie or buck are bisexual, even at points where they could have explicitly shown it (e. g., zero jealousy toward love interests, no hesitation to date somebody else cuz they do not "waiting for the other", eddie actively looking for a date and not a single time was he looking at any man like he's seriously into that option), so it's a fandom issue only at this point imo. especially because we have canon queer relationships in 911, and we have a very well-loved big canon gay ship in 911 LS, so why would they be afraid to canonize buddie? i swear more people should watch Elementary for sherlock and joan. a beautiful, deep, special relationship. they would die and kill for each other, they openly say they love each other, they live together, sherlock will inevitably be there an important figure for joan's son... and they are both very hetero, and it's still 100% platonic. i have not seen a friendship like buddie on screen yet either! we see a lot of bromance but it's usually just a regular friendship, often with two hetero men that do not really open up to each other *because they are hetero* so they must have a romantic partner for the emotional parts. because of toxic male standards for how close men are allowed to be to each other emotionally. and now we finally have smth that is so beautiful, and i see nobody simply appreciating it for what it is right now... maybe they will someday give these two a sexual crisis, maybe someday buddie will be canon! or maybe not. maybe they will always be best friends who really allow themselves to have each other's backs. but this perpetual disappointment and unhappiness of the fandom is so sad to me. buddie is and has been and will remain an amazing dynamic!

So I'm an ace/aro bisexual, so like your point of friendships not needing to turn romantic, I totally get, but I do actually think that a lot of the thing shown in the show are really easy to see as romantic, and I don't think it is actually that much of a jump to see that it's not just friendship. And I'm saying this as someone who hates couples being forced, or people perpetuating the idea that you have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Also I think the argument that you haven't seen friendships shown like this (i.e. are only ever either very cold, or turned romantic) is a very common argument against gay couples used all the time, so it kinda rubs me the wrong way, when there are so many examples of amazing male friendships done so well, and male friendships being emotional is becoming more common too. You can advocate for more male friendships like that without putting down ships of two men together, or people being upset about the missing opportunies for them to be canon, in my opinion. Also I don't only think people ship them because they connect emotionally, I think they just genuinely have romantic chemistry that makes it easy to ship.

It is totally okay if you don't see Buddie as romantic, and I think so many people do really appreciate their friendship as it is, so I'm not sure if maybe you interpet it all in a people shipping buddie romantically lense/only see that on your feed etc, but I defininitely see so much support for just the friendship.

I think the problem is that they force the straight relationships so much when they don't make sense for the character development. It makes it harder to accept the lack of Buddie when they aren't providing an alternative with any depth to it, so all people really can see is the potential of Buddie. Like putting them with the love interests from the end of season 6, when they actively go against the previous character development, no wonder people are upset at that. And it's easy to be upset at that and link it to being upset about Buddie.

Also, I genuinely do believe with the fan support and where the storyline has gone that they would have been made a couple if they were hetero. I think the reason why them being both male has prevented it, is because that wasn't the intention from the start, and while it is a progressive show, I think it's harder to turn two "hot straight men" into a gay/bisexual etc etc couple in the middle of the show, rather than what lonestar did with having them together from the start.

I do agree however, that there is a portion of the fandom that can't be happy with anything in their friendship until its canon, which is very sad, because even if they don't go canon, it's an amazing relationship that should be loved as is too.

At the end of the day, if you love them platonic then I'm really happy for you, but I think its not unjustified to point out the difference in how their relationship is treated compared to hetero ones.

I wrote this really quickly while doing an assignment so if any of my points dont make sense, blame my university brain lol

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royalreef · 1 year

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@chaosmultiverse inquired: 2, 3, 6, 17 & 27 Romantic Relationship Questions - Accepting

2. Is your muse monogamous?

(( Nope! Of course, this is a little complicated because it requires discussion of merfolk relationships and their attitudes towards them, but in short, merfolk are not a monogamous species.

They tend to think of themselves in the plural to begin with, and that can make monogamous relationships a little more challenging and complicated for them than they are for us. Likewise, merfolk have an entirely different hierarchy of relationships, and because of that, romantic relationships can be much less important and focused on than certain types of platonic relationships, with certain not-necessarily-but-most-often platonic relationships taking precedent over all other types of relationship in their lives. Likewise, certain romantic relationships are prioritized and thought of as more important than other romantic relationships, and while there is a type of romantic relationship that takes importance over all others, it’s also something that is neither pushed for nor all that common, and most merfolk just never consider it and never want something like that.

This isn’t even getting into sexual relationships either, which merfolk have an entirely different outlook on, and often doesn’t even map onto their web of relationships as anything other than connective tissue.

But yeah. In short, it depends? When in doubt, ask Miranda, and she’s usually pretty quick to talk about boundaries and what is and isn’t alright with her partners. Most of the time she’s ambivalent-to-positive on having others in her romantic relationships, but sometimes she doesn’t want them and could not handle it, and there are types of relationship that she has that she will always have multiple partners in, but which aren’t shared with landfolk and are hard to talk about with them.

3. What would your muse’s ideal date be?

(( ..... Ironically? I don’t think Miranda has an ideal date. Yes, she’ll list you off countless fairytale scenarios and ways for her date to rescue her from a tower or wake her with true love’s kiss, but that’s just what Miranda will say. In terms of what her actual, true, ideal date would be... I don’t think she’s actually all that picky. She would like something tender, and intimate, and close, and where she can be genuine, but that’s still so broad that I don’t feel like that would fully count either. Mostly she just wants to feel appreciated and loved and safe.

6. How important is physical appearance to your muse?

(( I’m tempted to say not very, but this is a complicated one too. I will say — if you’ve gotten Miranda to the point where she is actually in love and in a long-term relationship, nothing will stop her. It does not factor in with the slightest, and Miranda is fully ride-or-die at that point, with nothing more to be said.

But when she dates around for fun and just to have flings, it’s... a bit more important, I suppose? As in, she is just doing that for fun and for what thrills her at the time, and she feels little guilt on turning someone down because they aren’t attractive to her. She wants someone who excites her, and often that includes if they look good as arm candy in front of others. But, remember, these are still the same relationships that she doesn’t have a problem with discarding and moving on from either, and those that get her in such a relationship haven’t achieved anything special either.

17. Does your muse like being asked out, or do they prefer to do the asking?

(( She LOVES other people asking her out. It’s partially an ego thing for her, but also she just likes the attention. She likes it when people fret over her and compete for her attention and for her love, and she adores it when people put in the effort for her. Not just what she asks of them, but truly going out of their way to sweep her off her feet. Ironically, this is the same reason why she basically never asks someone else out, as she instead prefers to tease and play with them and rile them up until they do so instead. It’s a game of gay chicken, and Miranda’s in it to win.

But she also tends not to ask out even the people who she actually does love, just for an entirely different reason. In this case, it’s moreso because of Miranda clinging to her denial and what feels safe to her, because actually getting invested in someone else doesn’t feel safe. It’s a risk, and it’s scary, and Miranda instead tries to avoid it or wait until it goes away, because she doesn’t know how to deal with her own affections towards someone else. She can’t put up her same defenses, she’s scared she’s going to get hurt, and she doesn’t have the same experience in genuinely loving someone in the same sense that she has experience in just dating people for fun. It’s tied to the same reason that Miranda gets so much easier to fluster if she’s in love with someone, to the point of that being a good yardstick on whether she’s actually caught feelings for someone else.

Though, in the latter case, moreso it’s the other person asking her out for sheer lack of Miranda doing it. She’s not intentionally trying to get them to do so, and honestly is so wrapped up in her denial that she would be okay with simply never asking them out at all. Again, she’s trying to wait until it goes away, because it’s scary and upsetting and new for her, and she’s trying to convince herself that if she just ignores it, then she won’t get hurt and nothing bad will happen.

27. Is your muse one to sit down with a new partner and formally define a relationship, or do they prefer to go with the flow and see what happens?

(( It depends! Tying back into the last answer — if Miranda’s genuinely invested in a relationship, she’ll try to avoid defining it as long as possible, rather going with the flow and letting it happen, over taking an active role. It can be endlessly frustrating for the other party especially to deal with, but Miranda feels safer with it. Putting words down to what they are means she has to directly confront her feelings, and she often doesn’t even know what they are or how she actually feels just yet. That time to work things out is important to her, since it lets her figure it out as she goes, and to come to terms with her emotions more slowly.

In comparison, if she’s dating someone for fun, she’ll often come right out and directly say what the two are. She doesn’t have shame about it, there are no complicated emotions to work through, and she can just immediately get to what she wants without a need to pause and think about it. She’s doing it for fun, and so she does whatever is the most fun for her. She’ll still play coy if she thinks that’s fun, and has no problem with beating around the bush if it means she gets to fluster someone else and use that as an excuse for further flirtations, but she has a very clear idea of what’s going on and doesn’t hide it from herself or anyone else.

#Most secret royal advisor || OOC #Dreaded rumors || Asks #chaosmultiverse #(( miranda is so funny #(( she's great at relationships until suddenly she's not #(( and the worse she is at it the more in love she is with someone #(( just like how you can get a measure of her emotional investment #(( by seeing how good or how bad miranda is at lying about it #(( this is why she's such a dork around aaravi at all times

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shrimpmandan · 9 months

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Hey I just wanted to say that I relate a lot to your personal post about being confused about romance. It’s pretty refreshing seeing someone else have the same “issues” as me!

I imagine it’s partially because of neurodivergency and trauma, as you said, but I’ve always had that same difficulty connecting to people. Crushes were always faked, people are easily cut out of my life if I decide they’re “not worth the effort”, I’m convinced I cannot feel the physical emotion of love in any form. Hell, even as a 7 year old I recognized that I felt no connection to my family members. “I love you” always becomes a meaningless phrase - especially since it is/was often used by manipulative family members and past partners.

I haven’t labeled myself as aromantic - the split attraction model honestly just confuses my tiny brain way too much - but I imagine it would fit me. Really it’s up to you if you’d use it for yourself.

In my life, I’ve kinda decided on my own definition of “love”, based on qualities that have been lacking in all the previous, abusive relationships in my life (both familial and romantic). Love doesn’t have to be a feeling or a bouquet of roses or a candlelit dinner. Sometimes, love is just enjoying spending time with someone, and being enthusiastically willing to spend the rest of time with that someone. This goes for both platonic relationships and romantic relationships btw.

My current boyfriend knows if all my neurodivergency and trauma troubles, and understands my unusual lack of certain emotions, including that of love. He loves much more passionately than me, since he’s neither ND nor nearly as traumatized as me - he still considers himself in a “honeymoon phase” even after ~5 years, he loves the usual NT romantic flair of roses and gifts and fancy dinners, and he seemingly never lost that “spark” for me. On the opposite end, I lost the “spark” a long time ago, I hate/can’t understand the cliche concept of romantic love, and I usually have to ask how long we’ve been dating 💀. However, despite our clear differences in this regard, I still trust him more than anyone - he’s my best friend, and he understands and cares for me more than anyone in the past ever tried to. He knows my conflicts with emotion and showing physical affection, and he’s knows I’m much more like a cat than a human, in that I prefer bonding via parallel play and just being in the same room. He knows this and accepts this, and that’s why I want to spend my life with him. Because that’s what I consider to be love.

This is a long-ass ramble for no reason lol, but TLDR: “love” is meaningless, so make your own definition. And I believe anyone can find a partner that they can love and be loved back, including those of us that have trouble with “love”.

Absolutely! I don't have the time/energy to respond to all of this, but I do genuinely appreciate the sentiment. Reiterating that I don't identify as aro, but I realized last night that the attraction I have for two of my closest friends is most definitely alterous, and that eased a LOT of my fears and troubles regarding what I was feeling about them-- not platonic, not romantic, just... intimate. Far more fulfilling that any romantic relationship I've ever had, though part of that might just be shit luck on my end.

Either way! The "hierarchy" of what makes something platonic, romantic, or whatever else is completely made up, do what you want forever

#anon #asks #personal #okay to reblog

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originalfireemblemscenarios · 1 year

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May I have a male match up for Fire Emblem: Three Houses, please? I am a hetero-leaning demisexual (on the ace spectrum!) and I identify as female. It basically just means that I need a super deep emotional connection with the person first before I even consider any sort of romantic attraction. In terms of what I'm looking for in a relationship, I really value loyalty. I also kind of go by a credo of "men aren't competing against other men, they're competing against your solitude" in that I am super comfortable with me being single and my significant other has to add something to my life that me being alone with family and friends could not. But I like the idea of a person being a home and I seek comfort in my significant other while they also push me to be better. I prefer charismatic and humorous personalities as well as someone outgoing since I am quite shy myself!

In terms of what I can offer in a relationship, I too am extremely loyal. Once I commit to someone it means that I value them enough in my life to genuinely work on the relationship so that it lasts all the way through, platonic or otherwise. My love language is acts of service and physical touch (but I definitely don't give it out often). I don't tend to be touchy right off the bat and I absolutely hate receiving gifts, but I also understand that my significant other might have other love languages different from me so I'd want to communicate with them a compromise or at least discuss it. I'm a homebody so I don't go out much if I don't have to but I'd be more than willing to go on adventures with people I'm comfortable with so long as they don't go off on their own (I tend to cling to "safe" people when I feel uncertain or nervous).

I'm quite a prideful person and I'm not really silly when people first meet me (a lot of people say they're intimidated or they think I'm quite serious, that I know what I want and that I don't take any nonsense which is what scares them off). I tend to be closed off to people until they stick around long enough to get to know me. I'm a frugal spender (which is why I don't really like gift giving as a love language). I enjoy reading and playing video games on my spare time and absolutely love my dogs to death; I love all animals but nothing will beat out my own pets!

I'm so sorry that this turned out so long and I hope I didn't miss anything!

You certainly gave me a lot to work with! But I did have a dilemma between two completely different characters lol

This is a part of 3x Valentines event (All slots are taken)

I match you with...

Caspar von Bergliez

As intimidating as you come off to others at first, that'd be his exact reason why he'd be interested in getting to know you in the first place.

Turns out you're even cooler than he expected. Loyalty, set of rules, good sense of pride- he definitely appreciates it all.

Even if it took longer for you to open up, Caspar is too determined and easy to be open around guy to let that stop him.

And as you look in a partner something you can't get from either a friend or a family member he took it as a challenge once he was sure of his feelings.

His love language is the same as yours, but he's much more interested in acts of service. Both receiving and giving.

Being his lover means that he'd often "drag you out"... Sometimes literally, but since you're not opposed to going out it really won't come to this. Probably.

And when you're nervous, he'll be your strength. He can sometimes be a little foolish, but in the end you can count on him when you need him.

~Mod Bernadetta

#3x valentines #caspar von bergliez #caspar fire emblem #fe caspar #fe3h caspar #caspar x reader #Caspar bergliez #Caspar fe3h

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bakasaiga · 3 years

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Sesshomaru & Rin: InuYasha's Healthiest Dynamic

The Case for SessRin, Platonically & Romantically

Read the full article here: Sesshomaru & Rin: InuYasha's Healthiest Dynamic by bakasaiga

Art Credits: @bamb.bieun via Instagram

Why Sesshomaru and Rin have the healthiest dynamic in the InuYasha franchise. Covering content from the InuYasha manga, anime, films, drama CD "Asatte," and aspects of the sequel series, "Yashahime: Half-demon Princesses" (also known as "Hanyo no Yashahime").

Introduction

This article aims to explore the rationale for “Why Sesshomaru and Rin have the healthiest dynamic in the InuYasha Franchise” as I want to focus on their dynamic, and use this word over a "relationship." Because a relationship oftentimes has the connotations of romance, overlooking notions of the platonic nature of relationships. This analysis will focus on Sesshomaru and Rin throughout the InuYasha franchise (anime, manga, films, drama CD, and sequel), mainly analyzing the events depicted in the original series, where they are at the time, platonic.

The Significance of the First Encounter

Sesshomaru meets Rin in episode 35 of the anime/chapter 129 of the manga, following his unsuccessful battle with InuYasha’s wind scar. Tenseiga, knowing its owner’s life is threatened, sends Sesshomaru to a place that it knows is safe, peaceful, and conducive to his well-being. That place being the nearby forest of Rin’s (at-the-time) home. When Rin first meets Sesshomaru, she recognizes the pending danger of his presence — he’s not human, but he’s hurt. And to some degree, she likely resonates with that. Sesshomaru was all alone, hurt, mentally non-intact, and the most vulnerable we had seen him in the series (even compared to him losing his left arm as we hadn't seen the aftermath of that yet until episode 133-134). She’s a poor peasant girl who’s suffered immense trauma, suffering, and loneliness. Her initiative to help Sesshomaru came from her generosity; her empathy in seeing someone who reminded her of herself. She offers him food and water, to his dismay of course. But does not take no for an answer — this establishes a part of her personality that may be overlooked: her unwavering and kind-hearted stubbornness. She does not take no for an answer. Rin probably thinks to herself that her fish she gave him was not good enough because she’s been conditioned lately to believe that she’s not good enough. She returns to the village reserve and steals some fish, not for herself, for him. After receiving a beating, she does not flinch or show any signs of remorse but progresses on with her merry way. At this point, it’s observable that despite knowing her story, her scars, and her difficulties, humans do not even empathize, let alone sympathize with Rin. It is the feudal era, after all. She’s a young, disabled orphan and the villagers only see her for what she lacks: a voice, a family, and a place of belonging.

When she returns to Sesshomaru, without the fish, Rin is visibly shyer, feeling like she had failed her mission but she nonetheless returns out of her stubborn, kind-hearted and generous nature. Sesshomaru would never accept her attempts of rescue, but her dishevelled and pained appearance intrigues him. When he asks about her bruises, this is the first time anyone had ever afforded her a second glance.

The audience can see Sesshomaru calculate her body language, recognizing that she is mute. Instead of pressing her further or ignoring her outright, he attempts to comfort her (in his own way), making her feel that it is okay if she chooses not to answer him; that her desire to reply to him should only be a desire, not an obligation. I think, on one hand, that was the first moment of something that would resemble compassion that Sesshomaru had ever administered, trying to put himself in her shoes — if someone had asked him to do something that required, for example, his left arm, he probably would have appreciated them saying “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” so to provide him agency for something that he actually cannot do. And the same goes for Rin. He recognizes her disability, maybe even resonates with it and decides to empower her with a choice. Choice is important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic and it’s a word that will come up often. This is the first of many choices that Sesshomaru allots Rin in dictating their soon-to-be long-lasting relationship, laying the foundation for their connection as the series progresses.

"The first time she was revived, the moment she opened her eyes, they exchanged a soul gaze, which harmonizes the energy between two people. They maintained deep eye contact for nearly half a minute. There were no words, Rin had no opportunity to say thank you, and Sesshomaru asked her no questions. They said all that was needed to be said through their silence."

-Lawless Lane, Sesshomaru and Rin: The Silent Soul Love

The next time Sesshomaru sees Rin, it is suggested that he actively sought her, whether it be by curiosity or concern for well-being. It's evident that Sesshomaru had never experienced an interaction like this before and if we just collect the facts we know about him, his reaction is quite logical. He had been born into aristocracy to political parents and was a lord the moment he left the womb. Everyone around him feared him or needed something from him. His chance of a genuine relationship (friendship, family dynamic, or even romance) would have been limited and/or superficial from the get-go. They see him in armour, finely dressed, and never vulnerable. But when Rin first meets him, she doesn’t treat him like her lord, king, or anybody special, she is immediately exposed to his vulnerability. She sees him at his worth. She treats him just as she would likely treat anyone else if they were in need. Rin’s authentic and warm smile plant the seed of compassion in his icy heart because he hadn’t come across this type of raw intention for well-being and to his deduction, he could have felt one of two things (maybe even both): (1) compelled to reward her with another shot at life selflessly, and/or (2) an inquisitive desire to seek that perplexing feeling that her smile gave him. When Rin wakes up, the first face she sees is his. When she died, the last face she saw was his, albeit imagined. Upon her revival, she pursues him without a single word from either party...

Read the rest here: Sesshomaru & Rin: InuYasha's Healthiest Dynamic by bakasaiga

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queerprayers · 3 years

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this might be a strange question but do you think that there is a sexual identity in loving God / being in love with Jesus? for a long time I have thought about how I want to incorporate Jesus into every part of my life and every area while at the same time it just comes natural to me to have my eyes trained on him, I've even thought about becoming a nun.. I just feel wholly in love with Jesus but I genuinely struggle with this aspect.. maybe you can't help but if you have any advice or just thoughts that would be greatly appreciated!!

Hi, I'm absolutely obsessed with this question. You're amazing. The answer is yes, so many people throughout the centuries have felt similar ways!

Devoting yourself to God/Jesus rather than having romantic/sexual relationships with other people is not new, and in some ways you could totally call it an identity! In the Bible, we can look at Jesus himself, who (as far as we know) never married, but devoted his life to his ministry. I don't know off the top of my head how many apostles were married (I know Peter had a mother-in-law), but I'm sure some of them gave up that kind of life to follow him. Many priests/pastors, monks, and nuns are unmarried, for various reasons across denominations, but especially when we're talking about monks/nuns—nuns are often referred to as being "married to Jesus!"

Mysticism is the area of Christianity that I would say most incorporated this idea, especially sexuality-wise, and I don't know a ton about it but have included a lot of resources (either read by me or recommended by others).

Becoming a nun is a wonderful, holy calling, and it may be the thing that brings you the most peace! I'd encourage you to do more research and maybe visit an abbey/convent!

Besides that, incorporating Jesus in all areas of your life is absolutely amazing and will probably be overwhelming and beautiful and frustrating and so, so worth it.

I don't have much advice besides to go for it? Like as far as I can tell, you're experiencing a good thing that you feel really connected to! Obviously any serious religious devotion in ~today's world~ takes extra courage and explanation, because this isn't the norm (at least where I live), but, with God's help, I know that you can create a beautiful life for yourself.

I do wanna say that devoting your life to Jesus does not necessarily mean being celibate. Choosing that can be really challenging, especially without a formal path (like being a nun), and while it's a historic, holy way of life, it isn't something to take lightly and can result in a lot of loneliness. Don't deny yourself romantic/sexual intimacy with other people unless that's for sure the path you're on. That said, platonic intimacy is holy and not lesser-than romance, and being single is obviously a normal way of existence.

Some resources you may find interesting:

Church, Christianity, and the long shadow of "hot Jesus," Lyz Lenz, Vox

What Is It Like Being Married to Jesus?, Helena Burns, Berkley Center

Loving Jesus Back: Nuns Really Do Get Married, Jane Thomas, icthus

Sex and the Saintly, Andrew Kinney, Trinitonian

Jesus's Vagina: A Medieval Meditation, Emily Swan, Solus Jesus

Sex and Mysticism, Matthew Milliner, First Things

Erotic Spirituality, Paul Smith, Integral Christian Network

Marrying Jesus: Brides and the Bridegroom in Medieval Women's Religious Literature by Rabia Gregory

Mysticism and Sexuality by Bernard McGinn

Human interpersonal relationships and the love of the Trinity by Maria L Boccia

Erotic and Nuptial Imagery by Louise Nelstrop

Love Divine: Erotic Desires in Christian Mysticism, Prof. David Albertson, Condon Lecture Series

A Practical Guide to Becoming a Nun by Blair Hurley (short story)

Freeing Jesus: Rediscovering Jesus as Friend, Teacher, Savior, Lord, Way, and Presence by Diana Butler Bass

The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See by RIchard Rohr

Why the Mystics Matter Now by Frederick Bauerschmidt

For the Love of God: The Faith and Future of the American Nun by Lucy Kaylin

Sisters: Catholic Nuns and the Making of America by John J. Fialka

Mariette in Ecstasy by Ron Hansen

The New Asceticism: Sexuality, Gender, and the Quest for God by Sarah Coakley

Women and Mystical Experience in the Middle Ages by Frances Beer

Fragmentation and Redemption: Essays on Gender and the Human Body in Medieval Religion by Caroline Walker Bynum

Authority and the Female Body in the Writings of Julian of Norwich and Margery Kempe by Liz Herbert McAvoy

The Love of Learning and the Desire for God: A Study of Monastic Culture by Jean Leclercq

Roots of Christian Mysticism: Texts from Patristic Era with Commentary by Olivier Clement, Jean-Claude Barreau, trans. Theodore Berkley

Scivias by Hildegard von Bingen, trans. Hart & Bishop

I think that's all I got! Wishing you love and peace as you discern God's path for you!

<3 Johanna

#asks #anonymous #resources

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witch-of-snow-and-stars · 3 years

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Pick-a-Card Reading #1:Who is the Next Person You Date?

This is a general reading, so only keep what resonates and leave the rest (this is for entertainment purposes only). I’ll be using they/them for the people discussed. Pile 1 is a Sodalite Seahorse, pile 2 is a Gold Dragon, pile 3 is a Kambaba Jasper Seal, pile 4 is a Green Aventurine Eagle, and pile 5 is an Unakite Tiger (these are all little figures from one of my alters, they’re just too small to photograph well). Pick the pile(s) that resonates with you, the results are under the cut! Any feedback is appreciated and please read the note at the bottom of the post 💚

Pile 1 🌊🐴: This person is confident, funny, charming, honest, and protective with masculine energy (represented by the King of Wands, the Magician, & the Ace of Cups). They may be someone who could impress you with their wisdom or abilities, and they may do well in social environments or be savvy about how others feel about them. This person is energetic and understands different connections well, but they may use their savvy against rivals. I see them as someone who is friendly and energetic, but they’re quicker on the uptake than most would assume if you get my meaning.

The main aspects of the relationship were that this relationship has great potential for long term happiness and independence for the both of you, but I think you may hit a point in the relationship where one or both of you may want to explore other options because the honeymoon period is over. Now it is totally possible that there are better options, but you may still have a solid relationship that is just not as exciting as it once was.

The runes I pulled for this pile symbolize marriage, success, and friendship. I think this has potential to be a fruitful relationship, even if it changes from a romantic to platonic relationship.

Pile 2 🐉: This person is stable, pragmatic, cautious, and loyal with masculine energy (represented by the King of Pentacles, the Lovers, & the 4 of Cups). They may be a romantic at heart and may fantasize or daydream. They may also feel like a kindred spirit to you or more likely they really try to make connections with people as they go through life. I believe they may trigger or help the healing of people surrounding them, or at the very least they have an energy to them that feels safe to others. They probably take a lot of pride in their work and do it with a lot of care, most likely holding it to a rigorous standard. It would not shock me if they were regularly trying to better their work in general.

The main aspects of the relationship were that this relationship is founded on loyalty, caring, and emotional security. I think there may be an event that renews the relationship or that the relationship seems to renew itself.

The runes I pulled for this pile symbolize wealth, safety, and friendship. I believe this will be a relationship that is generally comfortable and amicable without much pressure on either of you.

Pile 3 🌊🐕 : This person is mysterious, affectionate, caring, domestic, and spiritual with feminine energy (represented by the Queen of Cups, the High Priestess, & the 10 of Cups). This person is hopeful and believes the future can be better than the present, while also being expressive and honest in their daily life. Due to the multiple oracle cards I pulled that were related to communication, I wouldn’t be shocked if they were involved in Communication professionally or were a speaker of some kind.

The main aspects of the relationship were that this could be a relationship in which you lay down roots and have a happy commitment. There could definitely be soulmate energy/feelings between the two of you, but generally there’s a very good chance of this being a harmonious and blissfully domestic match.

The runes I pulled for this pile symbolize home, wealth, and marriage. Personally I just read this to back up the cards depicting the main aspects of this relationship in that it will be a comfortable relationship to be in.

Pile 4 🦅: This person is quick witted, inquisitive, social, and is sought-after in different spheres with feminine/androgynous energy (represented by the Page of Swords, the Lovers, & the 2 of Cups). This person may be quite intelligent and a bit of a socialite, who may be well-known or held at some level of respect in their communities. This person may be wise to things or know things before they really have reason to. They also may be understand cycles well or may be good at understanding/helping others through different life stages/grief. Or they may be adept from going through one life transition to another. They might be an Aquarius (but that’s a bit too specific for this reading)

The main aspects of the relationship were that there may be a time where the relationship goes stale and evolution of the relationship needs to happen. However, when the relationship does go deeper, I think it will be a fruitful if somewhat unconventional. Issues from past relationships may become relevant again, but the both of you working through them will be beneficial both personally and to the relationship

The runes I pulled for this pile were destiny, future, victory. There may be a feeling that ‘you were destined to meet’ or similar feelings. I think that both of you may experience overcoming obstacles or victories in your personal lives as a result of this relationship. There may also be promise of a long-term future of involvement, whether the connection remains romantic or shifts paradigms.

Pile 5 🐅: This person is energetic, structured, emotionally strong, introspective, and open minded with masculine energy (represented by the Knight of Wands, the World, & the 8 of Cups). There are several cards that indicate that they travel regularly or may have a lot of worldly experience. This person is a good source of guidance, and might be good at healing/benefiting others in their company. They’re generally wise and see the value of being present in the here and now with people.

The main aspects of the relationship were that this relationship is just (excuse my language) really fuckin’ solid. It’s marked by emotional stability and bonding, loyalty, and genuine care for each other. Genuinely there just seems to be a really strong foundation for a relationship here.

The runes I pulled for this pile were victory, love, luck. One/both of you may feel as though you’re lucky to have each other, and it’s likely that you both love the other quite a bit! Victories in your personal lives may be caused by/benefited by the relationship.

🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟💙🌟

Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed your reading! Any feedback or comments are greatly appreciated! I'll try to change the format according to feedback if it would make for a better experience, as well as look for any topics people may want me to do PAC readings on!

Thank you again, have a good day!

#tarot reading #pac reading #tarot #divination #tarotblr

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dalekofchaos · 3 years

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Why do you ship max and warren.... she clearly is disgusted by the fact that he likes her 😭

Um here’s my explanation for Grahamfield.

Also, no she isn’t.

She’s never shown any sign of disgust for Warren. Max has shown nothing but fondness, appreciation and love for Warren. It is your choice as the player to choose either Warren or Chloe

Lets look at every example of Max and Warren’s relationship to see if Max is “clearly disgusted” by Warren’s feelings for him

Granted, Warren does send many texts to Max, but Max is a anxious and introverted person. Not a sign of disgust, Max herself said in episode 1 she lives in her own little cocoon. Also if you met someone who you had similar interests with, wouldn’t you want to be more closer? Warren can be persistent and he knows it can be a bother, and doesn’t want to be but Max doesn’t mind. And honestly, being persistent isn’t always a bad thing. If I wasn’t always persistent, I would not have the connections I do today. And it really isn’t bad in Warren’s case.

Max retrieves the flash drive for Warren

Max wants to talk to Warren about her crazy day and about her powers

Max thanks Warren for saving her from Nathan

You have the opportunity to accept or reject the “Going Ape”

Warren comes to check on Max in Jeffershit’s class, Max is receptive towards Warren and they both express worry for Kate

The first person Max sought comfort with whether you save Kate or unable to save Kate, is Warren. Warren will either praise Max for saving Kate or there to tell her it is not her fault for being unable to save Kate and Warren will hug Max at the end of episode 2 but leaving enough space for Max’s personal space, it was sweet and nice of him.

Warren will send a message saying how proud he is that Max saved her or if Kate died, Warren is there for Max saying that they can cancel on their “Going Ape” date but leaves the option open if she needs something to help her take her mind off things.

Warren is the first person Max calls on how to get in the principal’s office

He even asks to make sure she’s okay

In the alternate universe, Max looks genuinely distraught that Warren hooked up with Stella.

Warren reacts to whether or not you kissed Chloe and is willing to step down if Max is more interested in Chloe, but Max says she still wants to go ape with him. If you declined the offer and you kissed Chloe, Warren will back down and understands why Max likes Chloe

Max’s cute little message for Warren’s dorm. Also worth noting while writing the message, Max will say “sometimes you have to take a chance and see what happens”

Max can either stop or let Warren beat up Nathan

She might’ve sighed when Chloe said “that dude’s so in love with you” but a lot of romances in fiction either sighs or groans when their potential partner shows feelings for them. Perfect example is Han and Leia. Leia spent the majority of ESB sighing at Han being Han. Still not a sign of disgust

Max takes the time to chill with Warren and even take a selfie with him

You as the player has the choice to kiss or hug Warren.

If you examine Warren after kissing him, Max will say this

After kissing Warren, Max’s journal will say this

If you are referring to Max’s reaction in the nightmare world. EVERYONE WAS ACTING THAT WAY, IT WAS THE FUCKING NIGHTMARE WORLD! Warren, Chloe, Kate, Nathan, Frank, David and even fucking Samuel. They could be interpreted as Max’s secret fears for everyone. Including Warren, Kate and Chloe. People point out that Warren said and acted that way because Max was secretly disturbed by his attention (which yes, while I ship Grahamfield I could see that). They also say Chloe acted the way she did in it because Max was insecure about their relationship (again, yeah, I ship Pricefield but I could see it playing out that way). But what about when Max was talking to herself? And as Max put it "Chloe does a better job at guilt tripping me than you do." The Nightmare-Max points out that Chloe bullies her, saying it’s like “Stockholm syndrome” and Max herself says that Chloe guilt trips her. Nightmare-Max also says she’s more worried about Chloe killing them than Jefferson also asking Max if Chloe even respects them in any way. This doesn’t say healthy relationship to me. In fact it seems quite the opposite. If all those other scenes were Max’s secret feelings towards them, then what is this scene where she is actually discussing with herself how she feels about Chloe?

If you choose Save Arcadia Bay. At Chloe’s funeral, Max stands next to him, and for a moment, it shows how she gets a little closer to him.

Max has never shown any signs of disgust for Warren. If anything, Max shows fondness, appreciation and love for Warren They can either be platonic or romantic. It is our choice as the players.

The game is tailor made to be focused on Max and Chloe and didn’t really give Max and Warren to flesh out, but still it is clear throughout Max’s interactions with Warren and Max’s journal entries that she does love him and Warren through example has shown that he loves her.

Honestly I just wish they gave us the choice on who we have Max focus on. Chloe, Warren, Kate, Victoria or Nathan. We should be given a choice instead of having it be just Chloe. Though if we are only allowed to choose between Chloe and Warren, we should have been given two choice routes for Max to play through. Chloe and Warren.

I’m honestly quite sick of the unfair hate Warren gets and the Grahamfield ship and shippers get.

#Life Is Strange #Grahamfield #Max Caulfield #Warren Graham #Marren #Max x Warren #Anonymous

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imreallyhereforkataang · 4 years

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On The Southern Raiders

Several months ago, a fellow ATLA-consumer asked me the following in reference to TSR:

I came across a post (on tumblr, what a surprise!) the other day saying that Aang never seemed to care about Katara’s feelings revolving around her mom. […] Do you think people genuinely interpreted Aang’s actions like that? Simply by watching? Or are they purposely misconstruing it?

I responded with the vast majority of what follows. It was a while afterwards that I rejoined the fandom for long enough to see the massive spectrum of takes on The Southern Raiders that continues to be put out on the daily.

There seems to be this recurring idea that Aang’s actions in TSR demonstrate that, not only did Aang “never care about Katara’s pain” regarding her mother, but also that he was “forcing his morals on her,” etc. On the topic of whether people honestly believe this to be in Aang’s character or see him this way deliberately, I think sometimes they jump to the conclusion that Aang didn’t care because it stems from a misconstrued interpretation of Aang and Katara as individuals and their dynamic as presented in the show, which may extend to the belief that Aang doesn’t give back what Katara gives to him. In general, I can see how someone might form that impression, but they’re missing some key contextual pieces.

Just a quick disclaimer: This is (obviously) a look into TSR and dives into Katara and Aang, both as individuals and together. I try to make this fairly objective while relaying my own opinions, but this will subsequently hold pro-Kataang rhetoric, platonic or no. Additionally, because this is TSR we’re talking about, I do allude to elements here that mold into what I see as ‘specific common misconceptions about Z*tara’s romantic compatibility based off this one particular episode.’ Why are these relevant? Because there is a clear trend where the people trying to put Aang down or even demonize him for this episode are often pro-canon!Z*tara advocates. To be clear, I don’t have an issue with people who ship them for fun outside of canon, so if you like romantic Z*tara but also appreciate Aang, any perceived digs are not directed towards you! But I think some of these things are worth mentioning here in the interest of examining TSR and Aang-bashing.

(Also fair warning that this is nearing 7k words.)

So, with that out of the way:

I briefly mentioned how people can misinterpret Katara and Aang’s back-and-forths in terms of emotional support, and I feel like that starts with Katara.

Katara is a naturally caring person and earnestly reaches outward to empathize with people. She’s extremely perceptive when someone is hurting (the only one to look concerned when Aang showed gripes about killing Ozai in The Phoenix King) and is often seen as the nurturing character who will coax others to talk about their inner struggles (she does this with Toph in The Runaway and Zuko in The Old Masters, for instance).

Time and time again, when Aang has struggled on his Avatar journey, Katara has been the one to get him to open up and articulate his turmoil, ultimately supporting him or convincing him that there is still hope for better days. She’s been there for him at all times, from The Storm to The Avatar State to Bitter Work to The Serpent’s Pass to The Awakening and beyond, exercising patience and care. It’s a role she undertakes, and as Aang is our main character and undergoing, arguably (I guess? But to me inarguably), the most of everyone in the gaang, it makes sense that Katara, given her empathetic nature and their strong bond, will often be the one expressing true concern for Aang.

So we know that when Aang struggles, which we understandably see a lot of, Katara is his rock. But what about giving back when Katara struggles?

When it comes to Katara’s share of turmoil, the death of her mother and how it continues to impact her is one of her greatest sources of pain. Honestly, it might be one of the only times we actually watch her struggle on her own, as Katara tends to be a powerful self-advocate (see: The Waterbending Master). The thing is, even though Katara has mentioned losing her mother several times throughout the series, and of course she always sounds regretful when it’s brought up, she tends to keep the rawness of her associated sorrow bottled up. Almost every time Katara mentions the death of her mother, it’s been, in very Katara-like fashion, to express understanding towards others. With the exception of @Zuko in the crystal catacombs and TSR, she only brings up her own grief to empathize (@Aang in The Southern Air Temple to prepare him for the genocide and show understanding when he grieves, @Haru in Imprisoned when Haru talks about connecting with his father, @Jet in Jet when he talks about losing his own parents to the Fire Nation, and @Hama in The Puppetmaster when talking about losing members of the Southern Water Tribe). Really, The Crossroads of Destiny and TSR are the only times Katara actually brings up her own pain for the sake of bringing up her own pain, and it’s not often that we see her physically break down over it like we do in the former.

Katara isn’t the sort of person to bring up her turmoil simply for her own needs, or because she realizes it’s weighing on her heavily in that moment. It’s a sore spot that’s changed her behavior (as Sokka explains in The Runaway), making her grow up faster, and that she’s continued to carry for years and years. And yet, again, before The Southern Raiders, we never watched her actively cry over her mother except for when she was alone in The Swamp and with Zuko in The Crossroads of Destiny (and also perhaps when she was alone in The Runaway).

Thus, The Southern Raiders is an interesting episode because it’s where those feelings Katara has been harboring are fully brought to the surface and, in extent, it’s the episode where we see Katara at her lowest point. All of that pain is made fresh and present, the murder no longer feeling like something that happened long ago with, as she believed, no available ends to tie (“Now that I know he’s out there, now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice”), and it causes her to lose sight of herself. That’s not only starkly reflected in her decision to bloodbend, but also in how she doubts that anyone understands her pain.

Katara undermines Sokka’s hurt at the same loss she’s experienced and forgets all the struggle that Aang has had to endure from the start. Not only does he know how it feels to lose a parental figure (Gyatso) to the Fire Nation and not have been able to help (“My people needed me and I wasn’t there to help”; “I’m not the helpless little girl I was when they came”), but he also knows how it feels to lose an entire culture (something only Katara and Hama have similar experience with). And Katara knows this – she’s the one he’s expressed the most of his grief to, and yet here she forgets that. So we can already see how this opportunity Zuko has given Katara, the chance to find her mother’s killer and the anticipation that she feels from it, is bringing out a darker side of her that, unlike the Katara we know and that she wants to be, does not empathize or pause to understand. She’s so engrossed in her own pain, for the first time in so long, that she can’t see beyond it.

In consequence to this episode being about Katara’s emotional journey, I think The Southern Raiders is the most opportune time to observe who will give Katara what she has always displayed towards others. When a character undergoes the level of hurt Katara expresses here, it’s usually she who reaches out to that person, but now it’s her turn to be emotionally compromised. Now we get to see who steps up to the plate.

A lot of people conclude that this person is Zuko. That he’s the one who will reach out to her and connect with her emotionally to help her deal with that pain. I do agree that Zuko played a vital role in Katara’s emotional journey here – he was the catalyst for it. He had an established motivation to get off her bad side and onto her good side, a possible solution alluded to him, and knowledge that comes with hailing from the Fire Nation to go forth with his idea. And he does, and he’s physically there to help Katara through its execution.

However, Zuko making the effort to give Katara this opportunity does not reflect a lack of effort on Aang’s part. Firstly, because, as explained, Aang didn’t see how raw this pain still was to Katara. At this point, Zuko had been on the receiving end of two beratements where Katara angrily mentioned her mother’s death. Aang was not, nor did he witness these incidents. Aang understood the significance of her necklace (Bato of the Water Tribe) and looked concerned for her when she mentioned her vision (The Swamp), but Katara never seemed to express to Aang just how raw her mother’s death still felt, just as Sokka never did. She mentions it in The Southern Air Temple, but their topic of discussion was the Fire Nation killing the airbenders, and Aang was trying to fend off the idea that they might have committed genocide against his people. Considering context, there’s no reason to fault Aang for any of the things he did on this issue, or a lack thereof.

Just as Katara and Sokka thought, Aang probably believed it was a concluded topic in terms of active response. It was something that happened years ago, Aang was in an iceberg at the time, and neither Katara nor Sokka nor Aang thought it was something to go back on and revisit. When Katara yelled at Zuko, she never suggested looking for the killer. And again with that quote, “Now that I know he’s out there,” I don’t think hunting for the man was on anyone’s mind. As a viewer, it was never on my mind, either.

What Zuko had that the rest of Team Avatar did not was direction and knowledge on how they could potentially track down this specific Fire Nation military official. Even Sokka, who could remember the emblem of the Southern Raiders and underwent the same loss Katara did, not only seemed to have no intention of tracking his mother’s murderer, but also took Aang’s side when Zuko and Katara explained what they were planning to do.

Which supports the next point – regarding how Aang responded to the idea once it was out there.

Quick tangent, but it’s a scene like this that shows how Aang’s feelings for Katara have matured. The way he reacts to Katara in The Southern Raiders conveys how he knows she’s not perfect, he knows she can make mistakes, and even if, to some, he comes off as trying to hinder her on this sensitive topic, he overtly wants what’s best for her.

Aang recognizes the change in Katara’s demeanor when she approaches him about borrowing Appa. He seems to notice that something is off about her energy, probably to this extent for the first time, just as for the audience, and his instinct is not to step out of her way and “stay on her good side,” but to try and assess the situation before he lets her go in the condition she’s in. Katara is undeniably not thinking clearly during this scene, nor for much of the episode’s proceedings, given her tone, expressions, words, and intent. She’s undergoing, just as Aang says, “unbelievable pain and rage” (callback to The Avatar State; “for the people who love you, watching you be in that much rage and pain is really scary”). Aang understands where Katara is coming from, and he offers her his two cents, but he doesn’t “force” them on her, either.

Watching how Aang’s expression changes between looking at Zuko and Katara, he appears intent and almost stern towards the former. But for Katara, he’s first treading the waters, then concerned and earnest. Aang doesn’t shame Katara for her dark rhetoric or tell her what she should or shouldn’t do, but tries to help her regain some control of her emotions (“Katara, you sound like Jet” – he knows this side of Katara isn’t truly her, or who she wants to be, and this comment might serve to give her insight as to how she sounds) and then offers Katara a choice. Aang makes light of an option that she’s overlooked upon having this opportunity, and he tries to explain why the road she’s going down, the way she’s choosing to handle the situation, is self-destructive. All in all, he’s looking out for her. In his own way, he’s doing for Katara what Katara would have done for him.

I think it’s made fairly clear that, had Katara killed Yon Rha, (who, while, yes, is vile and got away with murder, was also defenseless against Katara by the time she caught up with him), she would’ve regretted her decision. The frightening thing is that I don’t believe she would have accepted that regret from herself, either. It would always remain a blemish in her energy (mind you, not because murder will inherently do this to everyone in ATLA, but it would to Katara specifically given her nature), something that would make her forever carry a bit of that darkness we so rarely see from her, much heavier and more permanent than withholding forgiveness, instead of following “Let your anger out, and then let it go.”

Here’s the thing people seem to forget about TSR: Canon shows us that Aang’s method for handling the situation is beneficial to Katara. It’s true that Zuko was the catalyst for this journey and he was there to help Katara see it through, but it isn’t true to say that Aang didn’t do her a favor by reaching out and being honest with her before they left. Remember the ultimate note on this side story: “You were right about what Katara needed. Violence wasn’t the answer.” The narrative teaches us that Aang was correct on this front – maybe not for everyone, but he wasn’t trying to nudge everyone. He was trying to nudge Katara.

I recently acquired the official DVD commentary for The Southern Raiders. I’ve transcribed relevant points on the end of this post if you’d like to read them in full, but Bryan and Andrea Romano (voice director) talk about how “even though Aang is sort of not in this story very much, to me his presence is in all of these scenes ‘cause you know he’s like, the little angel on her shoulder”; “I agree with you, he is with her through this entire journey she goes through.”

The fact that what Aang said resonated with Katara when it mattered – Katara, who becomes stubborn when she feels strongly about something, who doesn’t let anyone stop her when she disagrees with them, who is going through the most raw, emotional turbulence we have seen her in throughout the show –, the fact that Katara ultimately agreed with Aang’s words, that his words were the aid she needed in realizing there was a decision in either killing Yon Rha or sparing him, hugely states that Aang was there for Katara. Aang helped her see she had a choice for her own sake when her mind was clouded by pain and rage. You don’t need supplementary commentary to see that – Katara was seriously considering revenge, Zuko was leaning towards punishing Yon Rha but, for the most part, staying out of the decision (though based on the two back-and-forths he had with Aang before they left and his reaction to Katara walking away from bloodbending the wrong man, he didn’t realize how detrimental to Katara killing Yon Rha would be – his intention when giving Katara this opportunity was ultimately to gain some ground with her, and while he shares a sense of her pain, he doesn’t foresee what the nature of this journey will do to impact Katara specifically, which I get since he hardly knows her), and so it was ultimately Aang who helped Katara find her path even when he wasn’t there with her physically.

People can argue that Aang was forcing his morals on Katara, but he wasn’t. He was offering valid wisdom, yet pressing enough to hope that she’d actually listen and maybe react, as she did, rather than Aang simply standing back. It would’ve been easy for Aang to do nothing (like he said) and not risk coming off as unconcerned about her feelings, like he did to some viewers, because we know how Aang feels about Katara and that he doesn’t want to create rifts between them. But he risked stirring them, in her volatile state, in order to get his point across, if it meant that in consequence there would be a better chance Katara wouldn’t make the mistake that he knows would haunt her after this foreign mood of hers has passed. Aang isn’t about to let her go without trying to help her, even when she seems to not want help. It’s not in Katara’s nature to seek emotional support, and the audience has never seen her like this, but Aang recognizes that she needs the nudge (which, had her mind been clearer, she’d apparently agree with over her idea of revenge) and gives it openly and hopefully, even when she isn’t in a receptive state (or so it seemed). Again, Aang’s “morals” in this case of murder turned out to be, as he suspected, compatible with Katara’s as well as Sokka’s, so clearly he did a good thing there.

I think some people believe that Aang “forces his morals” on Katara because they’re under the impression that Aang’s concern is the general idea that she will kill somebody, the persons involved being irrelevant. That he’s acting selfishly and, in the interest of aligning with his own ideals, doesn’t want the girl he loves to be “corrupted.” This sort of mindset that “he’s against killing, so he won’t let Katara have this” leads to the conclusion that he’s not giving her the free reign to make her own choice.

However, this idea is debunked again and again in the episode. Aang says, clear as day, “I wasn’t planning to [try and stop you]. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. But when you do, please don’t choose revenge” as Katara turns away from him to go, and Aang stands back and watches with concern. He’s not being “forceful” – he’s being honest, like Katara’s been for him, and even supportive. If Aang really wanted to ensure that Katara followed his own morals, if he were actually not giving her free reign, he would’ve either disallowed Katara and Zuko from taking Appa or gone along with them. Aang could’ve justified joining the mission – it is his bison and that would split up the gaang evenly. He could’ve forced himself on this journey and used the time before meeting Yon Rha to monitor Katara like a chaperone, believing he’s just trying to help and making sure she doesn’t get hurt.

And yet he doesn’t. He lets Katara do this, and his parting words continue to be what he hopes she’ll choose. But his final action, letting her set off with Appa and leaving him behind, means that he’s leaving the decision up to her.

I feel like people completely forget some segments of the episode. Like how Sokka says “I think Aang might be right” and doesn’t go on the journey that he has as much reason to embark on as Katara does. Or how Katara literally says right before departing, “Thanks for understanding, Aang.”

Aang’s stance on Katara getting revenge goes beyond Aang just being against killing – he’s not voicing his opinion out of defense of Yon Rha or because he doesn’t want to love someone who went against his morals. He’s doing it because he knows what Katara’s going through and he doesn’t want her to have to face the consequences of letting the pain get the better of her. He’s trying to help her from going down a dark road, not for himself, but for her, because he knows her and knows this is something she would regret.

So when Katara tells him later that she didn’t forgive Yon Rha, Aang doesn’t push her or ask questions. He’s glad – and proud – that she didn’t do something that would’ve permanently hurt her, and beyond that, she could dissent from his morals as she liked. When Aang saw Katara after her trip, the first thing he did was run to her purely to ask if she was okay, not to discover whether she killed; he already knew from Zuko.

Bottom line is that Aang cared about her feelings. Particularly the feelings of the Katara she normally is, the Katara she means to be, the Katara who doesn’t bloodbend or unempathize, the Katara who’s hurting and whose pain is getting the better of her. Aang saw what was happening and did what he could to help, nudging her on the path she needed when her vision was clouded (sounds like Katara helping Aang when he’s in the Avatar State. Again, The Southern Raiders provides an instance of Aang giving back to Katara what she’s given to him, like with The Desert/The Serpent’s Pass, his pain from which Aang pointed out in “How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa?”).

Overall, people might honestly interpret Aang as being unsympathetic this episode, and I can see how from a superficial standpoint. But by doing so, they’re missing the significance of Aang’s choice to reach out and the importance it played in helping Katara conserve her own image of herself. She bloodbends someone – not even confirming that it’s the right person, first – in a rush of pain and rage after practically swearing it off less than ten episodes ago, so she clearly loses some semblance of herself during this episode, and it’s Aang who makes the most effort to help her find balance without getting in the way of her search. Ultimately, Aang’s role in TSR demonstrates how well he understands her personally, as well as his ability to step back and let her make her own decisions while still offering a viewpoint that her pain prevents her from seeing.

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Okay, big breath. Halfway through. I’d like to talk in more depth about how Aang understands Katara’s position.

I was thinking once again about Aang saying, “I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” As presented to us, those two incidents had several things in common.

Aang went into the Avatar State due to intense emotion, as opposed to a life/death situation, and caused mass destruction that risked placing harm on others. And both of these times, Katara was the one to pull him out of that state. An important thing to note is that there’s one other moment very similar, but not identical, to these, which took place in The Avatar State. Just like in The Southern Air Temple and The Desert, Aang entered the Avatar State due to intense emotion, out of anguish when losing Katara. But the difference here was the amount of destruction caused. When Aang lost control of himself, he went through with hurting the people in his vicinity, and when he came out of that state, he hated to see what he’d done. Aang told Katara that he hoped she’d never have to see him like that again, and he hoped it for himself, too (but, of course, she did see him like that again in The Desert).

What I’m trying to show here is that Katara losing herself to her “pain and rage” in The Southern Raiders parallels Aang losing himself to his “rage and pain” in The Avatar State, not just in The Southern Air Temple and The Desert, as he directly references. But why am I so adamant about The Avatar State as opposed to those other two episodes?

Because we saw the lasting effect that The Avatar State had on Aang. There are many analyses out there that explain how Aang has had to struggle with control over his vast power, oftentimes depicting it as something he’s afraid of. For so long, Aang fears the Avatar State, what he’s capable of while in it, and how he can’t regulate his actions when it occurs. This conflict comes up time and time again, and a huge part of his character arc is involved with that struggle.

But again, for the significance of The Avatar State episode specifically, I was thinking about chakras in The Guru. From his Earth Chakra, we see that Aang continues to fear himself in the Avatar State, and from his Water Chakra, we see that one of his two greatest sources of guilt is that he lost control of himself in The Avatar State due to his rage and pain, lamenting that he “hurt all of those people” (the other being that he ran away, which, as mentioned before, is tied with his guilt at not being there to help and isn’t unlike the anguish Katara must feel now at not having been able to help her mother, get her father’s help fast enough, etc.). Pathik tells him that, in order to open his Water Chakra, to absolve the guilt and let the pleasure flow, “you need to forgive yourself.”

So here we have this idea that forgiveness is the key step to opening a person’s Water Chakra. Water, symbolizing pleasure and healing. “It’s easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.” “Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.” These things Aang says in The Southern Raiders reflect what Pathik taught him about the Water Chakra.

Forgiving oneself is (obviously) different from forgiving your mother’s killer, but with this insight it’s clear that Aang personally understands how it feels to let your pain and rage get the better of you, and how it hurts deeply to face the consequences of your actions once the moment has passed. He recognizes that Katara is in a state not unlike the one he’s in when he loses control (“I do understand”) and he doesn’t want that for her. He wants Katara to be able to regain control of her actions and navigate out of her clouded vision so that she can make the choice that’s right for her. Aang is trying to help Katara see the pieces she’s missing, like how Katara does for Aang when he’s in the Avatar State.

Forgiveness is a necessary step in order to heal, and maybe it wasn’t a choice Katara ultimately made, but that was a decision Aang accepted. She didn’t kill Yon Rha, she didn’t have to now struggle with guilt or having to admit to that guilt, and she didn’t have to be faced with the strenuous task of forgiving herself for something she definitely would not have wanted to admit needed forgiving for. She saved herself from the pain that could have resulted from her own actions, because Aang helped her see she had a choice. When it mattered, when she was about to deliver the final blow, Aang’s words helped her pull out of that emotion-induced near-equivalent of an “Avatar State.”

To me it’s really fascinating to see the connections between these incidents – The Southern Raiders plus the three episodes where Aang enters the Avatar State out of emotion/rage (almost four if you count The Storm, but he manages to contain it when Katara calls out). The way these arcs parallel each other (“I went through the same thing when I lost my mom”; “How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation?”; “Watching you be in that much rage and pain is really scary…I can’t watch you do this to yourself”; “As you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself”) and ultimately culminate in acts of mercy. It’s incredible how Aang and Katara are able to reach each other when they’re in their emotional states, and know what the other needs and who they are when they lose themselves.

In addition, I also think Andrea’s point about how Aang “teaches” Katara is further reflective of the impact Aang has on the people around him. I’ve seen many circulating posts about how Aang hailing from the time before the war and being raised by the Air Nomads allows him to bring a unique, positive influence to those around him who, in contrast, grew up in war-time and were most likely (Bumi is an exception) never alive in the time of the Air Nomads. However, along with the lightheartedness and fun (see: The Avatar Returns and The Headband), this also includes the specific wisdom and peacekeeping ways of the airbenders that became lost in the war, and that Aang symbolically ends the war with: An act of mercy, thus showcasing the survival and triumph of the Air Nomads as well as the Avatar. In TSR, Aang shares this wisdom with Katara – that the choice exists, and there is strength in not choosing revenge and electing forgiveness if she so resonated with it.

[Click here]

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Back to the original question –

It may be possible that if someone were to overlook some characterizations and watch The Southern Raiders episodically, as opposed to as part of a whole arc, then they might genuinely form the impression that Aang is in the wrong here. I think I myself might’ve been a bit surprised by his approach when I was younger (though Katara’s attitude was also very surprising and even unsettling), but that was also at an age where I didn’t really understand the severity of the situation and just how much Katara was drifting from herself, or what killing Yon Rha could do to her, or, simply, in that volatile state, what she needed to hear.

I’ll be honest (drawing from personal experience, not sure if others relate) – I think as a child, one may not see the episode as intended because, unlike many other episodes, the takeaway lessons in The Southern Raiders are either expressed through words or an instance of not doing something (the instant where Katara doesn’t kill Yon Rha, since not doing something is less stark to a child than doing something). It’s a gray story in terms of right/wrong, and when you’re young, I can see why those lessons are misinterpreted because the viewer gets so caught up in the adrenaline rush of the action in this episode, the stealth, the bloodbending, the frightening amount of anger in Katara. It consumes most of the viewing experience, and within all that, the ultimate big lesson that “Violence wasn’t the answer” might get missed because violence or violent intent constituted almost all of the runtime. I see people who don’t remember this episode as a commentary on vengeance/forgiveness/the middle ground, but as “the one where Katara and Zuko got super badass."

Getting older, The Southern Raiders is such a gruesome episode. I now see the crucial, ‘quieter’ points that I overlooked as a child. Things like Sokka siding with Aang, Katara thanking Aang for his understanding, Zuko ultimately agreeing with Aang’s assessment of what Katara needed. Sad thing is that some people don’t appear to see this episode the way it was intended in time. TSR requests a perceptive mind from its audience, and some people don’t seem open to that.

I feel that this episode is often treated as shedding light on canon romantic Z*tara for similar reasons as to why people might miss the lessons – Zuko and Katara look cool and badass, on their way to kill a man. It’s exciting to see them working together, the nature of the mission is intriguing, but understanding subtext means acknowledging the tragic underlining of the episode, that it’s painful, that it’s Katara’s journey. It’s disappointing to me when some people chalk up Zuko and Katara’s relationship to being “badass” and “sexy” as a result of The Southern Raiders. It feels out-of-context, caught up in the “coolness” of this episode and misinterpreting physical synchrony as emotional, especially since their dynamic changes anyhow after Katara forgives him.

The episode presents very clearly that Zuko wasn’t right in his assumption about what Katara needed. Again, not necessarily his fault, although his comments about "Air Temple preschool,” “Guru Goody-Goody,” and forgiveness being “the same as doing nothing” display his skepticism of going the peaceful route (though this is curious to me given how often he showed mercy towards Zhao). He honestly didn’t realize the implications this journey would have on Katara, but by the end of the episode, I think it’s safe to say Zuko learned that Aang knew what he was talking about. Aang, whose whole nation and father figure were killed, and yet was able to forgive. Who could see how Katara was responding to the information Zuko gave her.

That’s not to discount Zuko’s role here. Maybe Katara did need closure, and Aang did say “This is a journey you need to take” (although, I do wonder, as Aang asked originally, what it ultimately accomplished. I get that Katara felt like she needed to take the opportunity once Zuko handed it to her, “Now that I know we can find him,” but if Zuko had never brought it up, would things be different? I hope it accomplished something in regards to Katara’s turmoil – perhaps she was able to forgive herself in that she could finally confront the man who did this, when all those years ago she came back with help “too late” – but at least she forgave Zuko in consequence), but this journey was so emotionally turbulent for Katara, heavy to the point where she wasn’t even herself anymore (as said in The Avatar State, “I saw you get so upset that you weren’t even you”).

Therefore, I personally find that simplifying TSR into “Katara and Zuko being cool” to the point where people glorify the way Katara acts in this episode insulting to her character, simply because I don’t enjoy watching deep pain morph Katara into becoming something she dislikes (see: Bloodbending and how it’s often glamorized in fandom). To me, it’s not as if she’s honing something akin to her inner strength. Katara is an extremely powerful character, which is shown time and time again, and her power comes from her physical capabilities as well as her inner strength. “Hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” Bam, Katara right there. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m too weak to do it or if it’s because I’m strong enough not to.” As is a theme in this show, there is a strength in restraint.

In her right mind, Katara would be horrified by her actions in The Southern Raiders, or at least what her ultimate intention was, and if people more closely understood Katara as she is, then I feel like they’d agree. As Aang did.

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Do I think there are people out there who deliberately reimagine TSR as ‘the episode where Aang was a “self-righteous prick” to Katara’? Yes, absolutely. As for motivation, I can’t really think of any reason for trying to make Aang look bad besides trying to make him look bad in comparison to another character (i.e. Zuko here), or maybe people have their own personal reasons for disagreeing with Aang’s sentiment while forgetting that Katara ultimately does not (in regards to the killing). Or maybe people just dislike main characters who manage to uphold their morals and it goes in-hand with those who think Aang should’ve killed Ozai.

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Honestly, there’s a lot more that can be said on the topic in regards to what Katara learned about herself in TSR, as such might be reflected in her active choice to spare Azula in Avatar Aang (which Bryan notes in his commentary: “Katara also finding a peaceful means” in reference to Aang), but frankly I’m kind of exhausted so I’m gonna leave this half-baked copy-and-paste from something I wrote earlier this month:

I feel like the only people Katara has harbored legitimately murderous thoughts towards have been Yon Rha (her mother’s killer) and Zuko and Azula (Aang’s killers, indirectly and directly), indicated by that unique energy she’s carried around those three that we don’t see a lot from her, where her voice becomes lower and the weight of her words more threatening (also the fact that she issued clear death threats to the first two).

For the final Agni Kai, Zuko planned on ending Azula. He goaded her into using lightning and intended to redirect it at her (he didn’t want to, of course, as Bryke noted, but that was the decision). So it’s striking to me when Katara, despite having a very opportune chance to end Azula and knowing Zuko wouldn’t have judged her for it since he was about to do the same, makes the active choice to keep her alive. Katara could have unfrozen herself and gotten to Zuko immediately, but instead she took the time to restrain Azula and allow her to live. And I do believe that a part of the decision was made clearer to her after the events of TSR. Katara realized, subconsciously or no, what she isn’t, and that she’d try to preserve Azula if she could despite how much she might hate her for what she did last season.

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DVD Commentary for The Southern Raiders

[…]

Andrea Romano: This is where she does bloodbending, right? So scary!

Bryan Konietzko: It’s this dark skill that she reluctantly learned in episode 3x08. And there’s another important lesson – it’s like, once you have power over someone, are you strong enough not to use it? Or, use restraint in life?

Dante Basco: […] The thought of bloodbending is an idea that – it’s just crazy! Like, the average television or Nickelodeon show […] is not thinking about bloodbending. But yet it’s a very possible situation in this world, and I think that’s what makes it so exciting for people who watch the show.

Michael Dante DiMartino: Yeah and it’s not a skill that they take very – or certainly that Katara takes – lightly. It’s a very serious proposition to do that on somebody.

AR: And it’s not treated lightly. Here she is, she’s so close to being out of control. And that’s what adds so much to the drama of it, is, we think, she could really lose it here and really do something that she regrets for the rest of her life. But she manages to hold herself.

[…]

BK: We see that she’s unbalanced emotionally, and so that’s what’s coming out.

AR: […] But we can only hope she’ll make the right choice. (Imploringly) Use your powers for good!

BK: I love that, even though Aang is sort of not in this story very much, to me his presence is in all of these scenes ‘cause you know he’s like, the little angel on her shoulder-

AR: Absolutely, yeah.

BK: -y'know, that she’s ignoring at this time. And so, to me it really is a story about Aang because it’s like, it’s just about him trying to have influence over her actions from afar – just, by not telling her what she has to do, but just by gently suggesting what she try to achieve with this journey.

AR: It really is a juxtaposition there, where the young Aang sort of tells her, like a parent, go ahead, go out and do what you have to do, but please, I hope that you choose forgiveness rather than revenge. And here he is the young one, and she is the older one who should be, sort of, teaching him and in fact they switch and he teaches her. So I agree with you, he is with her through this entire journey she goes through.

BK: I think it’s also interesting that, if you look on paper, Aang has lost a lot more than Katara has, and he sort of gently reminds her of this. He’s like, 'Hey, my whole culture was wiped out. Everyone I’ve ever known was wiped out.’ And uh, but as we all know in real life, you can’t really quantify suffering. It’s really a personal thing and everybody…everybody’s situation, when your own world kinda crumbles, it seems like the whole world’s falling apart. You can’t really equate these things. And so, we just see Katara lost in a very human moment in this episode.

AR: I love that scene. So dramatic. You just go 'Oh no – don’t do it! Don’t do it!’

[…]

—-

DVD Commentary for Avatar Aang

[…]

Bryke: It’s sort of like a multi-stage thing. He releases his emotions, these raw feelings of anger and wrath, and then learns to control them and rise above them. […] We obviously wanted a cool moment of Aang in the Avatar State, and it was kinda finding that right story beat for him. And in this case it was him being the totally wrathful, vengeful version of the Avatar […] But it’s really not Aang. It’s really this energy that has kinda taken over him. He’s not in control at this point. […]

So, can kind of recognize this Kung Fu move he’s doing. It’s what he was having nightmares about in 2x01, as he feared being this sort of wrathful, y'know, Hand of the Avatar. That was that same kind of […] chopping motion in those 2x01 nightmare scenes. […]

I feel like that’s his defining moment. That’s why we call this episode Avatar Aang. […] He’s finally learned to control the energy. […] He’s controlling it, he’s not letting it control him. […]

#atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #the southern raiders #aang #aanglove #katara #kataang #kataangtag #sorry for reposting #anti zutara #i hope it's not that bad but this way you can filter if you want

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4thsun · 4 years

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What connects the Square/”incompatible” signs

Aries and Cancer: Both are extremely caring and loyal to a fault. Even if their ways of nurture sometimes clash, each one of them is someone who would kill for their loved ones and wouldn’t hesitate to fight someone for them. Both of them are leaders, albeit in different ways. The Aries is a stereotypical leader, the strong and loud one of the pack, wanting to protect their people from the front while the Cancer prefers to be in the back and be the glue in their friend circle, being there to care and nurture everyone from the shadows and make sure they feel alright. Also, both can tend to be quite immature, especially emotion wise and can sometimes tend to be selfish when upset.

Taurus and Leo: In my experience, these are actually quite similar signs. Stubborn to a fault, extremely caring and kind, but also the capacity to be cruel and vindictive when angered. Usually self-centered, they can overlook other people’s needs, but not on purpose. They can be labeled as attention seekers, but in truth they are just so eager to share things about their lives to anyone willing to listen and want to make them laugh with their stories. Their kindness is like no other and they are the first to take sacrifices for their friends. But if betrayed, their whole demeanor shifts and they can be petty and aggressive, but only because they cared so much and have an undying loyalty towards the ones they love.

Gemini and Virgo: These two signs are both ruled by Mercury and are the intellectual powerhouses of the zodiac. Their minds are constantly working, constantly fixing things, never at a stop. They can relate to each other’s intellectual and calm approach to everything and how they prefer to show love by either giving advice or doing acts of service for them. Both of them talk a lot, their mouths trying to keep up with their minds and likewise they criticize a lot, not out of malice but out of genuine willingness to improve things, although they tend to give unsolicited advice and criticism as well. Also, both of them can become razor sharp when upset or in an argument. Enjoy intellectual stimulation a lot.

Cancer and Libra: The obvious thing that connects these two is that they are both people pleasers. Both of them are preoccupied with other people and how they get perceived by them and so become social chameleons, wanting to gain their favor and fit in. They can lose parts of themselves because they want to be with other people so much. Likewise, they discard their ego to build up the other person, always preferring to be there for them instead of venting out their own problems. Both of these signs are infatuated with romance, friendship and how media portrays those. They want a dream relationship, either platonic or romantic and want someone they can give their all to and sacrifice everything for. However, when angered they tend to become passive-aggressive and childish, thinking they are being non-confrontational and keeping the peace but really just dishing out bitter and snide comments and building up tension.

Leo and Scorpio: These signs are signs of pride and they will make sure you know it. Even if they differ in how they show that pride, it is very gallant and obvious. And in some way, it causes these two to be like predator animals circling each other, wanting to be the dominant one. They can be prone to childish fights and outbursts of anger and can be easily irritated by one another due to their clashing natures and need to be dominant. However, that also means that when they get to know each other and can put their pride away, they accept each other and become the alpha pack together. They can feel unstoppable together, their sense of humor similar and their power and energy when together obvious. Developing a partner in crime relationship, these two are an absolute force to be reckoned with when together and can bond over many things, good and bad, like their intensity, their flair for the dramatic, their energy, etc.

Virgo and Sagittarius: These two share a love for intellectual topics and debate, viewing each other as ideal conversational partners and appreciating someone who can stand on equal grounds with them. Both of them can have a certain god complex, thinking they are better than others and expressing that in passive-aggressive ways. Both of them are confident in their theories and advice and think their plans are always the best. Similarly, both of them can act as martyrs, taking on the pain and suffering of others to make them happy and to please them. This however can cause them to suffer from a victim complex and think they cannot be criticized since they are doing so much, even if those sacrifices aren’t asked for.

Libra and Capricorn: While maybe not obvious at first with the first party, these two are businessmen. These two signs study people and their ins and outs, they know how to exchange emotional labour and compliments for services they desire and they aren’t afraid to get what they want. They know what people want and give it to them, to gain what they themselves are after. Nonetheless, they naturally also use this ability for good, using it to calm down and cheer up people in the exact way they know the other needs it. While they may be selfish in some regards, the people close to them are extremely important to them and they are the best cheerleaders, always knowing how to be there for someone and give them a confidence boost.

Scorpio and Aquarius: Ride or die, these two are all or nothing with their interpersonal relationships, always seeking out intense affairs that make them feel something, think things over and challenge their mindsets. Additionally, they enjoy being “the odd one out”, the “special” one. These signs love being alternative and edgy and liking and knowing things no one else knows and thinking about things nobody else does. They bond over this similar mindset and can feel like the other is the only one who understands them, the only one who thinks about similar deep and unconventional topics.

Sagittarius and Pisces: Both of these share the same love of philosophical topics and a love for people in general. While they may not like other humans per say, they love humanity and studying it, seeing how they work and function, how they act and how their habits show in little ways. They love seeing those knacks in a person and completely figuring them out. They love probing deep into a person’s mind, even pushing topics that should not be talked about and be the first and only one to completely envelop the person’s mind. Furthermore, they share a passion for similar interests such as religion, humanity, religion, psychology, etc. However, these two also share a tendency towards escapism through media, self-denial, substances etc. and tend to run away from problems instead of facing them.

Capricorn and Aries: Both of these have a very imposing, brooding presence that is felt by everyone around them. Thus, people tend to either hate or love them and never be inbetween. These signs have confidence and aren’t afraid to show it and while their distinct energies may be different, people tend to have be conflicting when met with such a great presence. Likewise, they have a blunt and sometimes even rude way of talking and even if they mean well, their words can be perceived as unnecessarily harsh which can turn people off. In reality however they just want to be straightforward, thinking honesty is above all else and necessary to take the necessary steps towards improvement.

Aquarius and Taurus: When people look at these two signs, they may come off as unapproachable, as on another level somehow. They seem to exist in their own world, somehow standing out even though they aren’t doing anything special. People either admire or loathe these qualities and tend to make up their own image of these signs based on what they see from the outside rather on the inside, seeing a completely different thing when they ultimately step into their world and actually experience their personalities and how warm and kind they can be. Nonetheless, this can also lead to them living their lives in their own bubble, never wanting to shy away from what they know and not face people from the outside, content with never being challenged.

Pisces and Gemini: Quite easy-going, these two signs bond over their their mutual want for peace and a light-hearted, fun relationship. Never taking things too seriously, they share a similar sense of humor and are also able to stimulate each other intellectually and talk about deeper things and humanity as a whole, Gemini is eager to talk and Pisces is eager to listen, likewise both of them are eager to learn, especially from other people. They have an equally curious attitude about everything they see and want to experience new and exciting things, bored of routine and things that are too serious, though this also shows in their shared immaturity and inability to maturely handle criticism, feeling personally attacked when someone expresses dissatisfaction with them or their mindsets and opinions.

#astrology #zodiac #zodiac signs #my post #square signs #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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