#the funny thing is in the pandemic i literally watched all of the episodes of fucking. forensic files and it was the only thing i was

[fishareglorious]

I haven't touched anything related to netflix in years but i think the dealbreaker for me was the fact they took down Grimm there. Like yeah I dropped the show and never watched the final episodes because personally I really didn't enjoy the zerstorer plot thing but like. that show is my favorite of all time. I would've rewatched it at some point if they didn't remove it damn it

[samijey]

Corey Graves with the foreshadowing of all time in this old episode of Smackdown (February 19th, 2021)

Let's talk about this episode, shall we? Because the Sami & Jey dynamic is really interesting in retrospect

Let's talk about how this episode accidentally focuses on the samijey dynamic way before it became "a thing" - remember these were HEEL Jey and Sami - they were both at their lowest points, with Jey at his most volatile and aggressive (still reeling from his defeats against Roman) and Sami being an annoying, paranoid mess (this was shortly before the whole Johnny Knoxville thing).

At the start of the show, Sami interrupts a segment between Edge and Roman (the "real" top feud going on in SD at that time, if you'll remember - oof pandemic era) and immediately starts rambling, which Roman ignores, Edge laughs at and Jey just watches looking equal parts confused and curious:

man literally got the 🤔 going on

that was until Sami got the camera crew involved and started yelling into the microphone, at which point Jey lost patience and superkicked him - look at his face when he turns around to look at the camera guys he's soooo annoyed

classic samijey angst shot before it was a thing i'm just sayin'

Sami rolls to the outside after the superkick so Edge and Roman can resume their thing - and what does Jey keep doing during the rest of the segment? stare at Sami on the outside, of course

he just keeps doing it for no apparent reason

even while they're all making their exit, Jey's in the back of the shot staring at Sami, who's still down (lol at his little head popping up in the right corner of the frame)

cut to the main event tag match of heels Sami, Jey & Corbin vs babyfaces Daniel, KO and Cesaro. Immediately as Jey makes his entrance he and Sami start bickering

that's when you have that great line from Corey Graves about sparks flying (talk about foreshadowing lmao)

also let's talk about how Sami gets in Jey's face but Jey doesn't look phased by it and looks weirdly relaxed as he responds with "I got you"

they go on to bicker during the match, of course

but to also be the only two people to work together (we even pause the match at one point to have a classic "angry" tag spot between them)

and to put a cherry on top, they are also the only 2 to save the other from getting pinned

it's fun to see that even over a year before Sami famously approached Roman to officially kickstart the Sami in the Bloodline story arc, these two were already gravitating towards each other on a random episode of Smackdown 🤧🤧 it makes for really funny (unintentional) foreshadowing

[crybabyddl]

Just finished my rewatch of jatp. My perfrct track record of not crying during Unsaid Emily remains untouched. I will say though, I was very close to shedding a tear this time. However, I didn’t even cry during Stand Tall! I always cry during Stand Tall!

Anyways, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the headcanons and theories that us tumblr fantoms created and the little easter eggs we discovered while watching and rewatching the series. It makes me really appreciative of the fact that we had a sense of community during a time where a lot of us were alone, scared, and uninspired. Just like Julie, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and hope. I think that a lot of people felt the same after watching the show. Julie and the Phantoms is what inspired me to learn the piano, the ukulele, and it led me to getting a guitar. When I learned how to play the chords for the soundtrack, I was playing those songs nonstop. It really helped me brave through the unsure feelings that came along with the pandemic. It made me forget my fears about the future.

I don’t feel as hopeful about things as I did back then, but JATP will always be a land-marking point in my life. It represents newfound joy, reignited passion, and abundant vivacity. As someone who loves and is extremely passionate about music, this silly little netflix show really hit me in the most sensitive places. And while I remember having a bout of serious depression after finishing the series, (along with intense rage that while I was dealing with my depression at its lowest point, the cast of jatp was living what felt like my dream) the lessons I learned from the show were far more significant. It literally brought music back into my life, no joke.

The friends I made because of JATP will always have a special place in my heart. A lot of them don’t use tumblr anymore, and I don’t use it nearly as much as I used to, but I’m still so grateful to have been introduced to such kind, accepting, and funny people. The stories, theories, headcanons, fanfictions, moodboards, inside jokes, memes, and fanart we created will always be remembered and cherished. I’m still pro-cheesecake, I’m still highly allergic to sleeves, and every time I see an unnecessary or fake zipper, I think of my fellow tumblr fantoms.

I don’t think I’ll ever truly “get over” Julie and the Phantoms. It was the first thing that truly resonated with my spirit as a new adult. I was 19 and had dropped out of college, feeling completely lost and like I had nothing going for me. Going into lockdown because of the pandemic didn’t help with any of that, and I was aimlessly, endlessly scrolling on social media, hoping to find meaning and purpose. And one day, my friend posted a clip on snapchat of what she was watching on netflix. The guy was cute and it looked like him and the girl he was next to had a nice connection so I asked what show it was. That’s how I discovered JATP, almost 2 weeks after its release. I also just have an unhealthy attachment to the show and the characters so I refuse to let this media that speaks to my soul die.

All that being said, we really deserved another season. I think it would cure me entirely, if I’m being honest. Even if it was just a little Christmas special where they decorate a tree and do those mini stories like filler episodes of a cartoon series. Hell, I’d settle for an animated JATP episode. I just think we all deserve it after what we’ve been through not only as a fandom, but as human beings. I will never forgive netflix for it’s terrible job at promoting, because they only failed when it came to this show specifically. They managed to keep every other show, even ones far less deserving of acclaim and attention, afloat during and after the pandemic. The only reason JATP managed to get anywhere was solely the cast, creators, and fans. Paul Becker was on fucking overdrive, churning out BTS videos WEEKLY. Fanfiction writers were bursting at the seams with multi-chapter series and one shots about every possible scenario. We got things trending on twitter during the two most chronically online years. Fanart was being shared like crazy, and we had the instagram fantoms so confused by the memes that they retaliated and claimed they were superior.

Meanwhile, tumblr was in its shadowbanning era, and fantoms were in the TRENCHES trying to get their content to reach beyond mutuals and taglists. We received barely any appreciation, except for when we trended on twitter asking to renew jatp and on tumblr for jatp appreciation week. Let’s not forget when we thought Owen had a secret tumblr and we all started accusing each other of being him. I will never forget when we all rallied to get Madi to 1 million followers because we didn’t want her to become overshadowed by the boys and all the attention they were getting. We all watched their instagram lives and I will always love the tumblr fantoms who made gifs of the cutest moments from those. Everyone saw me shamelessly simp over Charlie with facial hair wearing a santa onesie. We created a whole Carrie redemption arc out of thin air, we created origin stories for Rose and the Petal Pushers, and we forced the creators of JATP to give us the official last names of Reggie, Alex, and Flynn (This adventure SPECIFICALLY!!!) We were ruthless in our efforts to uncover their last names. We used breadcrumbs to make theories and speculations, only to end up begging in every comment section and dm inbox we could to get Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, and eventually—though much, much later—Flynn Taylor. We gave Willie more crop tops, we basically storyboarded a second season, complete with episode titles and songs! We uncovered the Sunset Curve EP using the grainiest photos in existence, we created a loose timeline surrounding everyone’s birthdays, deaths, and significant events. We orchestrated a fucking CONCERT TOUR for this band. Oh, and let’s not forget when Kenny and the boys went to Hawaii. That Hawaii trip was so eventful for the fantoms, you have no idea how serious I’m being unless you were there for it. That was something unlike anything else for so many reasons. There’s a lot more, but that’s the stuff that came to mind immediately.

[silverskull]

Chenford Top & Bottom 3s

SEASON 4 - Top 3

1 - 422

Look. Reality stars can make all the claims they like. THIS. Episode. Broke. The Internet. Tamara? Dim? Jake? THAT SQUIRRELL? I mean, I hardly remember anything else, all those scene were so mind blowing.

(frfr, I have a lot of emotion tied up in this episode too. It literally got me through a very very very tough few months, and it was my happiest spark for quite a while.)

[1.5 - 418 - Just the dance at the wedding. I watch that over and over and over.]

2 - 412

STOP. Please. This was so funny. How did Tim and Lucy not realise they were dating each other? And they did that same 512 thing of Work!Chenford and Couple!Chenford before they were even together?! And it was (maybe) hotter than 512??? Because they were all up in each other’s shoulders in A. MORGUE??!?? as well as on their double fucking date?!??! ded.

3 - 409

I’m a sucker for Genny. I just love her being randomly thrown into all these Chenford scenes. “Hello, Ms Actress, yes. Yes you are hired to be this really hot guy’s sister. Your job is just to provide a personal life for his Aide to inveigle herself into. Thank u.” 

But seriously. This was a really important emotional beat for these two, and I loved that it was Lucy there with Tim. It could have been Angela, like, I guess. But it wasn’t. And I am so pleased that they gave them both all of these scenes together at the renovation, with Genny, solving the mystery of the gun, and - vitally - at Tim’s fathers’s (death?)bed.

SEASON 4 - Bottom 3

[obviously I can’t say 417, because someone fucked up and forgot to pair them together for this VITAL MOMENT IN LUCY’S LIFE.]

1 - 413

I am allowed to say this, because they had 2 (two) scenes together. LOL. But we really should have seen the whole gang go out for drinks on Nolan, PUH-LEASE.

2 - 415

Blegh, they had scenes together, but I actually can’t even recall what the main storyline of this episode was. “We like Wesley … We fear Lopez” was probably the best bit. They were cool in their tactical gear in the suspect’s house, but there wasn’t a lot of characterisation to it.

3 - ?

I’m actually stumped. I didn’t dislike any of their other moments in this season (brief though they may have been). Season 4 gets a bad rap, but considering we were just coming out of the pandemic and Tim and Lucy had new love interests (bleuck), I think we did rather well overall. It was a slow and steady attrition of feelings, and it worked out in our favour.

[cup-and-chaucer]

Romantic Comedy and the Curse of Booktok

I just finished Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfield and my Lord in Heaven do I have feels about it.

And not butterflies at how cute it was.

This was not It for me in so many ways and, in fact, it’s flaws were so great and so significant to me that I do feel compelled to write it all out in a *insert drum roll* numbered list.

Summary: Heroine Sally works at a fictionalized version of SNL and is frustrated by the fact that all these uggo sloppy men hook up with hot beautiful women. She, an uggo sloppy woman, then ends up hooking up with a hot beautiful rock star Noah Brewster during the COVID-19 pandemic.

1. The Pacing and Information Dumping

The pacing of this book was…bizarre to say the least. The book was divided into three sections. The first describes the week that Sally and Noah meet. The second is an 80 page exchange of emails between the two as they reconnect online during COVID. The third describes their meeting and romance. All of these were slow in their own way.

The first section was laden with details about the production of a weekly episode of SNL. I found this pretty interesting actually because I am a fan of the show and show biz insider baseball always fascinates me. But as the book went on, this section felt increasingly waterlogged. We never meet many of the characters again and we never return to the SNL set. It does feel like it exists solely to prove that Sittenfield read Tina Fey’s Bossypants. This section, of course, is also…like. Not that funny. It’s just not. Physical comedy is incredibly hard to transcribe to the page effectively and so the descriptions of many of the sketches fell flat for me and also the banter was not anything more sparkling than you would find in any other romance book.

The second section was also incredibly mundane. I have developed deep and emotionally intimate connections online and I think this is not an unusual experience to have nowadays. And I am sure if someone read back the transcripts of email and text conversations with those people…they would also not be that interested (though they’d be more interesting Im sure than this). You would need our context to make those conversations sing and to understand why some mundane things meant everything. This correspondence felt dull but it was partially because, without watching how Sally felt when she got a notification, without hearing how Noah wrote and rewrote and rephrased his messages, it was hard to gauge how impactful the exchanges were.

The third section was fine. And again, I know what it’s like to fall in love with someone quickly but their whole relationship felt really rushed. Even here, conversations were weighted down by unnecessary exchanges about what to have for dinner, etc that didn’t move the scene’s actions or emotional arcs forward.

2. Where’s the Conflict?

So. I get that we all want to communicate openly and honestly with our friends and partners. On the page, it’s deeply boring though. This is why Noah Brewster sucks as a hero—he is literally perfect. He’s rich, handsome, emotionally aware, kind, considerate. He apologizes right away and sets appropriate boundaries.

All the potential juice in a conflict is side-stepped from the real ramifications of fame to beauty standards to COVID to wealth disparity. Even Chekov's wig is revealed to be Noah getting some hair transplants that are explained away in a single cuddle session. All is resolved through a series of petty fights and pat reassurances.

*yawns*

The problems in their relationship originate with Sally. She is drunkenly snarky to him at a party and that leads them to not speak for two years, she gets irrationally upset at Noah for dropping her hand in front of the paparazzi, she moves into a hotel the moment they discuss their future and come into conflict. These aren't bad plot points but fighting Noah is like fighting a piece of wet cardboard because he is always reasonable and always level-headed and almost always right.

I thought about this book when rewatching Joe Wright’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice this weekend. What I love so much about that book and both movies, what makes that one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time, is the fact that both Elizabeth and Darcy grow and change and their relationship is the catalyst of it. This is shown in different ways in each adaption. The 2005 version does a masterful job of showing different perspectives to create a classic misunderstanding and crossing of social wires while the 1995 focuses on Elizabeth and Darcy as truly and deeply flawed. Both work for me in different ways. What I love Colin Firth’s portrayal especially is that he genuinely is an asshole…he’s a good person but not a particularly nice or sensitive one. His attitude is the result of snobbery and classism, not a lack of street smarts (like McFayden’s Darcy who is mostly shy and awkward rather than suave as Colin Firth is when he handles the Wickham situation).

Romantic Comedy hints at wanting to be a social commentary but it ultimately fails because it doesn’t allow its characters to be impacted and warped by the society that they live in the way that Austen and Firth allow Darcy to be unlikable because of his social standing.

3. Beauty and Desirability

Soooooo....like. Sally isn't really unattractive. Sally's narration is focused on other people's appearances...Noah is hot, Henrietta and Viv are attractive, Annabelle is beautiful. She is not. The whole premise of the book is that Sally is not a model. But Sally doesn't actually defy any conventional beauty standards except to be...not the perfect specimen of 21st century beauty. She isn't described as being fat. She isn't described as being visibly disabled. She isn't described as hairy (except when she is shaving everything off). She isn't described as being particularly masc. She is white and so there's no examination of colorism or Western beauty standards. She's just...a normal looking white woman. And like, trust me, as a normal looking white woman who is pretty traditionally femme, of course I have insecurities too, and a lot of Sally's commentary was very relatable to my experiences in dating, in sexuality, in my relationship to other women I perceive to be more attractive than me. But that doesn't make the book particularly interesting or transgressive, especially because the beautiful women in the book don't have much of a personality or depth (looking at you, Ariana Grande caricature.)

I read Olivia Dade's Shipwrecked series last year. And these are pretty silly romances tbh, but what I love about them is that the women in them are fat, yes, but their fatness is part of their attractiveness. Dade manages to do this in a way that doesn't feel fetishizing or patronizing. The women are described as being beautiful because they simply are and the men who desire them simply desire them, not just because they have a great personality which *makes* them beautiful, but because what people find beautiful and attractive is diverse. Those books also deal directly with the challenges of being in a "mixed weight" relationship and it drives some of the conflict, particularly in the first book...eating habits, exercise, media representation, etc. In contrast, it doesn't seem like Sally either grows into her desirability or that Noah ever really expresses clearly that she is beautiful to him. He talks about how great their connection is and how much he wants to fuck her...but if my memory serves there's not a lot of *specific* talk about what she looks like, what *specifically* about her physical appearance she finds so repulsive and he finds so hot, if he likes what she wears. This isn't a beauty and the beast retelling where someone looks beyond someone's appearance to see the inner person. This isn't Cyrano de Bergerac where there is something that Sally feels is fundamentally unlovable about her...except sort of a general global malaise about her desirabilty. Sittenfield can't decide what to do with the premise of her own book except to do a pale version of "not like other girls" where Sally becomes the funniest, smartest person Noah has ever met even if, in his own words, he never would have gone after her if he had just seen her picture.

4. Show and Tell and the Self-Consciousness of Politically Correct Writing

All of my issues listed above could pretty much explained by the fact that Sittenfield chooses to tell, not show, nearly all of the story. We are told by Noah that Sally is desirable and he is in love with her....but we don't see much of their interactions beyond just...fucking. We aren't allowed the space to interpret actions and feelings, especially after the first section of the book ends. Even the emails are a cop-out. As a result, the book becomes very literal.

One of the best things my writing partner has ever said is that "Sex should be about everything but sex, and everything that's not sex should be about sex." But in this book? Everything is exactly as it appears and so the underpinning of their interactions lacks chemistry. As Noah says, he's not looking to seduce her. Which is very nice of him. But very unsexy. When they finally do have sex, I struggled to care. It didn't feel like a crescendo of boiling tensions, it didn't feel like anything except the next logical step when you date someone. It is a romance but without eroticism and sensuality. God, it's even set during a pandemic where touching and masking is essential. My God.

This can be expanded into my biggest criticism of the book which was the handling of the political references and diverse cast. The characters clunkily engage with the political ramifications of COVID and the Black Lives Matter movement. The characters tell us that they go to protests (we don't see it), Noah tells us that he thinks about intersectional feminism (is that likely in a teen heartthrob...see Mr Darcy commentary above), they talk about racism (though there are two Black characters in the book who do...nothing). We are told that they are good people with the correct political opinions so we like them. They reach the quota of having one (1) queer friend and one (1) PoC friend. We don't see them do the hard work of being good, we see them do the gymnastics of being palatable to the other one. It doesn't change the fact that this story presents an extremely traditional view of relationships: the heroine marries a wealthy white man and her two friends are mothers in monogamous relationships by the end. It makes every mention of every political event and opinion feel deeply disingenuous and the book as a whole feel so self-consciously written that it was hard to fully immerse yourself in it. I felt the author everywhere, pressing in from all sides, unable to allow her characters flesh and blood and conflicts deeper than a single conversation.

Argh.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

it IS the blacklist and as for zoom footage they started and ended with a litltle screen recording of a bunch of zoom meetings all like blah balh blah pandemic blah on hold blah but i would not put it past them to have done all the voice overs via zoom that is exactly the kind of thing they would do. i got into this show thinking it would be a run of the mill crime drama and boy was i wrong because it's still a trashy crime drama but it has enough plot twists to kill a man. i think it has a rich aunt somewhere because where the fuck are they getting the funding for this. i am being held hostage by this show like tumblr was with supernatural this show is slowly killing me [spoilers] by far the funnies part though was when main characherts hubby (a thought out and prominent character with his own little arcs and episodes) dies in episode 8 out of 22 and the ambulance montage is just sound of silence on blast like who thought that was a good idea HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND *bleeding out in the backseat* IVE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN *still bleeding out only now listening to a banger* BECAUSE A VISION SOFTLY CREEPING *dies**wifey in a coma*

aslkdfjadfkl I guess that's the best part of being a trashy crime drama with way too many seasons is that you can do literally whatever you want. you can kill a central character at the beginning of the season while blasting sound of silence if you want to. you can do anything

this sounds like the sort of show that causes you to laugh hysterically at parts that are supposed to be sad causing your watching buddies to stare in concern (an unfortunately common dynamic between me and my family)

[hopefullynotprententious]

Brittany Broski

Brittany Broski is a TikTok personality, podcast host, YouTuber, Call of Duty cosplay lover and overall relatable human being. Brittany has a huge following, her following count ranges from 1.3 million to 7.3 million followers across all platforms.

She skyrocketed into Internet fame when a Snapchat video of her trying kombucha went viral on Twitter, she was then dubbed the ‘kombucha girl’.

Brittany Broski is the definition of beauty and I truly believe that. I really do. Not only is she physically beautiful, she’s also genuinely beautiful from within. It’s a quality that I think is so rare to find in these new influencers that seem to be popping up left and right. The way she loves and cares for the people around her is just so beautiful and pure.

I feel like it’s incredibly hard to dislike her, you can say she’s loud or annoying but she represents the kind of girl I am. I actually think that most people can find something in her that they relate to. Whether it’s her sense of humor, her love for the arts, the passion she has for the things she’s interested in, the way you can tell she truly loves the people she has surrounded herself with or her love for Harry Styles. There’s something about her that you can find yourself relating to and that you can identify with.

I think the reason she is so relatable and why she has amassed such a large following is because she lets herself be herself on the internet. With Brittany you get the funny YouTube or TikTok videos about art history or videos that make you laugh until your stomach hurts or videos of her quite literally on the toilet that also make you laugh until your stomach hurts but, you also get her tears, you get to see her meet her favorite people. She has met Harry Styles, Greta Van Fleet and most recently Peso Pluma, she has posted videos of each one of these meetings and each time I’ve watched them I have cried. I cried tears of happiness for her, because I can’t think of someone who loves those artists more than her and to watch someone so deserving of having these encounters is such an exciting experience.

It’s hard not to be happy for her.

She started a podcast recently, The Broski Report with Brittany Broski, and I’ve listened to every episode, it has a wide range of topics such as Rosalia’s cultural impact to TikTok whimper audios. My favorite episode of the podcast is episode 19 titled Why I Left the Christian Church. Brittany grew up in Texas, her family has strong Christian beliefs and values. However, Brittany has left the Christian church as the title would suggest. I can relate to this as just a couple months before the pandemic hit in the US my family seemed to collectively decide that we also didn’t want to be apart of that anymore. We never told each other until we received emails saying that were to let us know that we could attend church in person.

This whole segment of the podcast began when Brittany was doing a slight deep dive into an Ethel Cain album that is about religion. Brittany goes into what it’s like to leave the church and to have certain opinions your family that is still in the church and in this mindset would never have. But, it’s this vulnerability that she allows herself to reveal on the internet that is just so cathartic. It’s so reassuring that you can see her, a strong, intelligent and impactful woman openly cry and be so immensely vulnerable, the feeling, for me, is indescribable. It reaffirms the idea of ‘she’s just like me’.

Brittany Broski has helped me be more comfortable with myself. I see so much of myself in her and I know everyone says this about her and maybe that’s why she is so loved. I honestly do, I see myself in the way she laughs, the way she is so infatuated with her interests, the way she is just like a little gross (burping in her videos or being on the toilet). She has single handedly helped me be more self aware and more willing to accept love from my friends and to give that love back. Watching her being more open and vulnerable has made me more willing to be vulnerable and honest with myself.

I have to thank Brittany Broski for these feelings and lessons that I’ve learned from her. I hope she knows how much she is loved and how impactful her influence has been. I wish nothing but success and happiness for her. Thank you for reading.

[iamsingkeyt]

27 things you need to do before you settle down

Funny how I wrote things like that when I was younger. But it turned out to be a few things before I settled down. Maybe that's the reason why I still have things I want to do.

I still don't know how 1 to drive manually or automatically. But luckily, my husband knows how to. So, I'm a passenger princess and a waze coordinator. 2 Take a road trip. I didn't do that by myself, but we did it together.

I didn't have the chance 3 to travel with my best friends. But Jessa and I used to visit the beach with her brother, sister-in-law, and Jude. We also live together when we're in our last semester of college, and we reviewed for the board for a year in Baguio. I 4 live somewhere else, like 1 year in Baguio and 4 months somewhere in Manila. Now I'm living with my husband. I 5 live alone. But not literally alone because i have my rommies.

May 20, 2020, will be the day that I will be able 6 to see my favorite artist perform in the Araneta Coliseum. But it was postponed because of the pandemic and COVID lockdown restrictions. It was rescheduled two times: May 2, 2022, and November 3, 2022. And now we don't have any updates on whether it is still going to happen. I got my refund already.

I haven't 7 volunteered yet, but if I have the chance, I will soon. I wish I still could. 8 Learning to fight is on the list. But fighting evil is something I'm continuing to learn with God's help.

9 Apply for your dream job. Well, that job is to be a "volunteer.".

Did I already 10 try a new hobby? My hobbies are like binge watching, journaling, reading sometimes, playing chess, organizing, and I can't name next. I'll think of a new hobby if it's needed soon.

I have 11 had long conversations with strangers and new people I've met.

Still not 12 financially independent.

13 Find a drink of your choice. It's a matcha drink for me. 14 Learn to cook. Ahm, try to cook. Do it self! 15 Get fit? Working on it.

16 Challenge myself. What challenge do I have to face right now? 17Face one of my biggest fears. What fear? Fear of doing what I want?

I 18 tried a new restaurant by myself with my coworkers. 19 Do something crazy and spontaneous. Oh, that thing. It's when we eat dinner, and after that, some of our colleagues at work try a ride in the MOA Seaside. And that's crazy. I didn't join to ride the Vikings. Because I might vomit. And my head was aching at that time.

I always 20 find a new show and watch it all in a week or more if it's all complete episodes. That's why I also 21stay up until sunrise.

22 Make a list of books to read and read them all. But I actually didn't finish reading it all because I'm looking for something that I can connect to what I have learned from the Bible.

23 Keeping a journal is on the list. 24 Get to know myself. Yeah, I still know my heart.

25 Make the first move. First move in life. Yeah, I've done that. But I think I had my husband before I made that first move in life.

26 Build something with my hands? What did I build already? My cross stitch isn't finished yet.

27 Accomplish a goal. What goal did I set and accomplish? I can't remember any. Should I still build one and accomplish it?

Will I be able to do these things now that I'm married? Should I change it to things I need to do before we have a baby?

What is settled? How can I say that I'm already settled with my husband?

[cherrykindness]

let's make babies |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: you and harry are doing a live on instagram, you've drunk a lot of wine and now the world knows that the future Mrs. Styles is ready to make babies.

warnings: mostly cute, but the title tells you what you need to know 🤪

"What is your favorite song from the Fine Line album?" Y/N read aloud, twirling in her right hand the second glass of wine of the evening, the one already halfway through. "Adore You and Watermelon Sugar, of course."

Harry giggled, rolling his eyes upon hearing his fiancée's statement.

"Y/N will always choose Adore You because it was obviously written for her." He accused. "She wouldn't give that answer under different circumstances."

The comments climbed up the screen continuously, most fans gushing about how cute Harry Styles and YN/LN could be while the other part was concerned with wringing even more information out of the slightly inebriated couple who had decided to do a surprise live one early Sunday morning.

As expected after being away for some time to begin filming Don't Worry, Darling in Southern California, Harry enjoyed a lazy weekend in the house he shared with his fiancée and her pets. The days were filled with late naps and relentless Netflix marathons, sublime and ethereal evenings, marked mostly by unexpected declarations and rounds of sex that used to last until the beams of light were shyly coming through the linen curtains. They were not a monotonous couple, so this order could easily be changed.

"Watermelon Sugar is nothing more than about my love for watermelons, don't get too creative." Harry replied to a fan while sporting a corner smile, the message standing out among the rest for its dozens of emojis and large print, questioning the singer about erotic content behind the lyrics of his latest hit. "I really don't know what you guys are talking about."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head before leaning it against her fiancé's chest, propped up on the soft white pillows that were spread practically all over the bed. The air conditioner was on at a minimal temperature and a light rain whipped on the panes of glass camouflaged by the cream-colored curtain, that being the projection of Y/N's favorite nights.

"You can tell them, I'm not shy." She joked, nudging her fiancé's waist.

"You know what it was written about and who it was written for." Harry replied, raising one of his eyebrows. "That's what matters."

It went without saying that much of Harry's newest album, as well as some of his earlier work, had been done in exclusive dedication to his future wife. Y/N had been the muse for a vast repertoire of romantic songs, and even though the singer preferred to keep the story behind his more explicit compositions a "secret", the relationship the two had shared for more than three years was already solid and known enough for the media and fans to distinguish hidden messages in small details.

"It's a song about what usually comes before the act of making babies." Y/N laughed as he pointed at the display. "Honestly, you guys are impossible."

"No, we make babies every day." Harry joked, making a funny motion with his eyebrows. "I would spend my entire career writing just about that."

"Harry!" The actress exclaimed incredulously, slapping her fiancé weakly on the chest. "Children might be watching this."

"You don't want to have babies with me?" He asked falsely offended, accepting the cup that Y/N offered him. "Because I want some babies with you."

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes as she watched the internet freak out at the dialogue that had suddenly emerged. Since the beginning of the quarantine, it was kind of inevitable that the couple of artists would not become the darlings of all social media; they were fervently active with photos, videos, and lives that depicted step by step daily life in isolation, gaining more and more followers and making the media more and more fascinated by the relationship they both shared.

The wedding was scheduled for the summer of next year and it was perhaps the most anticipated event in the tabloids. Bets about what the model of Y/N's dress would be and lists presuming who would be selected for the short list of guests stood out among countless news stories about the famous people influencing pop culture today.

The possible arrival of a Styles baby was an inevitable topic in interviews. Harry and Niall were the only members of the ex-boyband that had not become fathers yet, and because they had maintained a solid relationship and were seen as one of the most enviable couples during the last four years, Y/N and Harry had gotten used to all this openly asked questions. They didn't mind, they even had fun with the montages and all the anxiety that dominated the whole internet, often mentioning the fandoms' efforts to represent them as such "cool" parents in perfectly edited pictures.

"No, guys, I'm not pregnant." Y/N amusingly clarified the doubt of dozens of new comments. "Please don't believe so many controversial news stories that appear out there. I was on twitter last week and saw several people theorizing about a possible pregnancy, most of the arguments based on a website that used photos from the set of How to Get Away with Murder in the season where I was actually playing a pregnant woman as Laurel." She laughed. "It's so funny! I know you guys love to guess these things, but we won't hide something so special when it actually happen, I promise."

"Especially because Y/N can hide absolutely nothing from anyone." Harry accused, leaving his drink on the corner table before settling into a comfortable position for the two of them. "Anyone who's a Marvel fan knows that. That's one of her most characteristic quirks."

"They gave me a fake script for the last two movies." Y/N agreed, shaking his head. "For me and Tom."

"We agreed to keep the engagement a secret for a while. The plan was to travel to Holmes Chapel to break the news to my family in person, but guess who got a call at ten o'clock at night from an angry Anne because she learned of her son's engagement from an interview Y/N gave the next day?"

Y/N gave a guilty smile, winking gracefully at the camera. "It was all James' fault! I'm sure he already suspected something, those questions were very suspicious."

"Of course the questions were suspicious, babe. You literally said you had a secret that involved both of us but that you couldn't tell because it was important that our families knew first."

"I thought he would think about a pregnancy or something!" The actress defended herself, feeling very convincing in her intonation bordering on obviousness. "That's a mania I can't get rid of, it's in my genes."

"Did you all hear that? Further proof that you guys don't have to worry about guessing when Y/N's pregnancy will be, I'm sure our baby will make sure to tell you everything while still in the womb, mom's genes will make sure of that."

"You are so funny, Harry Styles." Y/N sarcastically stated, holding back a giggle as countless messages with laughing emojis were frantically up. "Yeah, I know I talk a lot and all, but you have annoying quirks too."

It was obvious that live would be news the next day. Although they were completely open about matters concerning their relationship, nothing seemed better than receiving so much exclusive information from a Harry and S/N drunk on expensive wine.

"You wake up in a bad mood and you're dangerously sexy, that should be illegal."

Harry laughed, holding his fiancée's waist a little tighter as he felt her tumble a little further to the side, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Y/N was dangerously weak for drinks, and the singer knew that the actress' body was already near its limit.

"You're the only sexy person here, love." He declared with a corner smile, evidently finding the whole situation funny. "Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Can we watch some movie? Can we watch Sweet Home?"

"Of course, love." He murmured, giving the woman a quick kiss on the forehead.

Even though Harry knew that his fiancée was unlikely to make it past the five-minute mark of the episode, he made sure to restart the korean series at exactly the scene where she had stopped, the first chapter still halfway through after Y/N realized that it would be impossible to watch such a macabre work without a drop of alcohol in her blood.

She had been so excited by the taste of Argentinian wine and the idea of updating her fans after a few weeks away, that she had forgotten the main purpose of the live. Harry and Y/N had been apart for a few days due to the new movie the Brit was shooting in North America, all happening in an unrestrictedly careful manner due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic.

He was slowly migrating towards acting and the future Mrs. Styles couldn't be prouder. Y/N had felt on cloud nine when Harry had given her the news of his upcoming job, but her only pronouncement on the subject had been a succinct post on instagram. Just a photo of the couple on a trip to Germany with a simple heart emoji didn't seem enough for the actress' exhibitionist soul, and coming to that conclusion was the main reason she decided to invite him, already relatively changed, for a live appearance. Y/N wanted to go on and on about how much she loved that man and work on that whole honeyed speech that would bring her (once again) the title of "cutest bride of all time," but of course Harry had to come home from his trip with his favorite red wine and poison her with those sweet caresses that took her out of orbit, turning the degree of alcohol content into the least of her problems.

"You're going to kiss Florence." Y/N exclaimed suddenly, as if only now realizing that her fiancé would share the screen with Florence Pugh, one of her closest friends in that industry. "Kiss on the mouth."

The MacBook was still open and hundreds of new comments were going up every second, but Harry didn't bother one bit to warn her about the possibility of her becoming a meme the next day. He was having too much fun with the situation to worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She stated with a pout. "I am jealous, I just don't know if I'm more jealous of her or of you."

"But you kiss me every day, babe." Harry laughed. "And you've been kissing other people's men for almost ten years." He joked.

"But I only think about you, I already told you that."

Harry shook his head negatively at the camera, knowing he was sharing with the fans the funniest side of his fiancée.

"I know that, honey." He assured, lightly stroking the actress' back. "I think we'd better turn off the TV and go to sleep now, I'm sure you'll have a terrible headache tomorrow."

The brit planned to bid his audience goodbye and put an end to that recording, but Y/N was drunk and her sense of right and wrong had already gone to space. Harry should have been quicker, however, because his fiancée's speech would be cause for new tags and the only subject for the interviewers for at least the next few months.

"I don't want to sleep, how about we make babies?"

That's what Watermelon Sugar was all about, after all.

[tellytuber]

12 Shows of 2021

The new (and sometimes old) series and seasons that made my year. 

Landscapers [HBO]: During the first episode I thought: “Boy, this is pretentious. And an arthouse Fargo by Noah Hawley rip-off.” But then I remembered that I adore all of those things. Sharpe’s literal interpretation of this being a dramatization injects much needed creative life in the now very tired genre of true crime. Stunningly artful with flairs of fly humor. And if they were to make a spin-off of the police squad that I am very much obsessed with, I’d be very happy.

Queen of Mystery [KBS/Viki]: Picked this one up after Hello, Me! because of how much I enjoy Choi Kang-hee and became absolutely obsessed. (Even though it ended with rushed infuriating cliffhangers and never actually delivered on the teased romance...)The chemistry of the leading pair was sparkling (even when it was all yelling), and the premise of an enthusiastic amateur detective and the put-upon detective hooked me deep. So much so it inspired me to develop my own take on this fun trope.

Motherland (S3) [BBC Two]: As my previous year’s repeat watch pick-me-up, this was my most highly anticipated show. But what I wasn’t expecting was this season’s more serious tone. (Even though I should have after S2’s dramatic finale.) It was thankfully still very funny and ridiculous (like the sideways pandemic take with lice), and the more somber turns were lifted up and lead to a light and hopeful end. Julia’s storyline of fancying her builder had me cringing through the episodes, but the conclusion was both hilarious and poignant. And that very last scene with that certain character strutting in? I screamed. I appreciate a show that isn’t afraid to abandon its own conventions to stay fresh.

Mad For Each Other [Netflix]: This cute romcom quickly became a huge joy to me. As it aired, I’d look forward to every workday when I could watch the new episode on my phone during lunch. As a sucker for an icy but fragile woman and a combative but protective man, the sweet romance hit just right. The actors had great chemistry, and delivered the sweetest and sexiest first kiss ever. The series’s side focuses on mental health, identity, and acceptance of those who are different were also handled fairly well, and nice to see in a Kdrama.

Evil (S2) [Paramount+]: A religious/psychological/horror procedural following a ragtag team? Yes, please! Thank you Kings for giving me more of what I loved the most in S1: Kristen/Ben & Kristen unhinged. While watching this season (”S is for Silence” especially), I was struck with just how affecting its quietness is. Without layering on music or action beginning to end, they let scenes breathe, the acting to emote, and the creepiness to tingle. I can’t wait to be freaked out even more next season.

Taskmaster [Channel 4/Dave]: Influenced by my tumblr dashboard, I was curious about this silly gameshow that featured a charming mustachioed suited man twisting himself upside down to produce a fart. It was indeed silly. Joyously & absurdly so. It was just the injection of good humor I craved this year. I sped right through all 11 seasons, and now I crave at least 20 more.

Feel Good [Netflix/Channel 4]: One of the shows I watched as a part of my marathon of projects related to the cast of my previous pick, which absolutely blew me away. I went in expecting a sweet and dirty relationship comedy, but what I got was a powerful exploration of sexuality, gender, addiction & recovery, strained family dynamics, sexual harassment - All in an incredibly funny, beautiful, fantastically soundtracked show.

Succession (S3) [HBO]: While watching the premiere, I was overwhelmed with gratitude to be alive to experience this show in real time. There is truly nothing else like it that weaves comedy (insult to dark to farce), tension, high drama, literature, and dynamic character study together. It truly deserves a genre of its own. Like, Best of All Television. The only reason it’s #5 for me this year is because of how invested I was! It was a real rough ride for the Roy kids, it really bummed me out.

The Other Two (S2) [HBOMax]: Finally!!! The funniest comedy returned! It was great seeing Brooke & Cary inching up the industry ladder this year. (Alessia Cara!) Even though I would have loved more Lance, Chase, and Skeeter, more Molly Shannon and scene stealer Brandon Scott Jones made up for it. But Brooke/Helene York was the real standout for me: From her beautiful candy colored woman-boss wardrobe (that had me buying up suits) to the knockout performance of that dressing down of the Chex Mix bitch.

Awkwafina is Nora from Queens (S2) [Comedy Central]: As loud and brash and wacky as its debut, from time traveling to 2002 with a future serial killer to sidelining the pandemic with a cult stay. This show is a lot of fun. But what really hit me hard this season was how it leaned even further into its exploration of what it feels like to be a late twenty-something wash out in the world today. When social media is a brag board of friends and strangers flying by you with professional and personal accomplishments, how can you possibly catch up? If you’re directionless, how to find your way forward? What does that even mean anyway? Especially when the world the seems to change everyday.

Search Party (S4) [HBOMax]: This show pulled out all the bananas for this season and I loved it. Elliot unabashedly grabbing the Republican cable “news” money. Portia playing the role of Dory. The cinnamon roll twink and that twisted family. The guest stars. Every single performance. The trio kiss! And everything else really. But my top highlight: Elliot’s meta speech about being unlikable. Both a response to every person who complains about intolerable, whiny, self-absorbed millennials. But also (I’d like to think) a slap to every review (at least on tumblr) that claims the show is bad because the characters are bad. And to them Search Party says: You stink like shit too.

How to with John Wilson (S2) [HBO]: There is nothing else like it. Video snapshots that prove reality will always be stranger than fiction, intimate little interviews with real people, and Wilson’s comedic existential narration all ingeniously cut to illustrate whatever story Wilson is telling that week. Taking us on twisting journeys, like being led to a group of Avatar heads seemingly to laugh at them, but instead leave them with heartfelt compassion. As if taking heed of the life coaching from the interior designer from last season, How To’s voyeuristic charm is maximized as he exposes more of his personal life into the narrative. We feel even more connected with him, New York, and all of humanity.

Honorable Mentions: Seeking Sister Wife, Damned, Love 101 S1, A Black Lady Sketch Show S2, Mythic Quest, Inside No. 9, The Duchess, I Think You Should Leave, Frayed S2, Law & Order, Five Bedrooms, Stath Lets Flats, The Other One, Yellowstone S1/S2, C.B. Strike.

[thebrightsessions]

Entertainment Spotlight: Helen Highfield

Actress Helen Highfield was most recently seen this past fall as the breakout star of The CW’s limited series I Ship It, a musical romantic comedy where she sang her way through fangirl fantasies as Ella Spencer. Her recent work also includes roles on Why Women Kill (CBS All Access), Adam Ruins Everything (TruTV), and a recurring role on The Am Archives. She received film festival acclaim as the lead of indie feature The Manhattan Front, a period drama about the beginnings of World War I, and as an imploding pop star in short film Diva - also her first foray into producing. Additional credits include Cooper Barrett’s Guide To Surviving Life (FOX), Criminal Minds (CBS), and as Janet in The Rocky Horror Hipster Show, a live club/cabaret style production that played to sold-out houses for 4 years! She trained at The Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theater in NYC and is currently on faculty at Lesly Kahn & Co. in Los Angeles. 

What stands out the most to you from your relisten of this AM Archives episode?

Mostly it makes me remember how fun it was to record and act with Julia! And I LOVED getting to reveal Helen’s true motives. It’s such a delicious thing to play a villain (something I don’t normally get to do!) who is relishing a sense of control and being super vindictive. Also Julia’s last line, the little tiny “fuck” was so perfect. 

You’ve mentioned that you love period pieces: if you could go back in time for one week, what era would you want to explore, and what would you do while you were there?

When I first listened to The Bright Sessions, I was so jealous of Sam for this very reason! I’d love to go back to Jane Austin’s era - the Regency Period. I think that’s mostly because I watched Ang Lee’s Sense & Sensibility on repeat as a kid so honestly, I think I’m just hoping I’d run into Emma Thompson. I’d drink all the tea and wear all the dresses and go horseback riding everyday!

What’s the funniest photo that you have on your phone (either share or describe it)?

My boyfriend and I have a pretty dumb bit going that I find endlessly funny. He’s literally a foot and a half taller than me, so whenever we take couple selfies, one of us is cropped out. I have A LOT of pictures of his chin and he has a lot of pictures of my eyebrows. 

Since you enjoy making lists, can you please share a list of your favorite lists?

Why yes I can. My favorite kinds of lists, a list: 

1. The kind of to-do list where everything is finally crossed off. It’s just so…*chef’s kiss*

2. A list of reasons why I love someone (on birthday cards, etc)

3. When I’m running and need to distract myself, I make gratitude lists in my head. 

4. Lists of books I’ve read. 

5. Lists of places I want to go when the pandemic is over! 

Can you share your favorite piece of Bright Sessions / AM Archives fan art?

I love this [piece by @thefigureinthecorner​] because it’s a little how I felt walking in to record The AM Archives after listening to the Bright Sessions, haha!

Thanks for taking the time, Helen! Give Think Twice a relisten right here.

[masterthespianduchovny]

Ted Lasso’s reputation as a wholesome, nice, feel good show at times comes at its expense. This isn’t the fault of TL, but rather:

1. People who literally judge or write the show off based on these three descriptors. They think they know exactly what the show is about and how it’s going to play out and they don’t.

2. People who literally watch the show yet don’t understand it. These past weeks I’ve come to understand that some people who’ve watched the show either miss/don’t comprehend things OR fundamentally don’t understand the show.

I’m unsure if this is some type of media illiteracy for the second point, but I literally had to break down how the show works to someone who was shitting on it. Don’t get me wrong, people are allowed to dislike the show. That doesn’t bother me. However, when your criticisms either come from a lack of knowledge or the inability to understand how the show is structured, there needs to be an intervention.

In my honest opinion, I don’t think the foundation of the show is comedy nor is it drama, the genre of the show is influenced by Ted’s emotional state. It’s labeled as comedy for all intents and purposes, but observe how the tone/genre of the show largely matches Ted’s highs and lows. Some may say that’s normal, but I think there is a nuance here that’s missing.

A fan or fans pointed out that this season isn’t funny and that’s because Ted isn’t funny (again, the show is mimicking Ted’s emotional state); most of his jokes do not land. He’s trying way to hard and not at all at times, which is intentional.

He’s overdoing it and people are saying it’s bad writing when, in fact, it’s very good writing. We see more and more how Ted is missing things, behaving oddly around the therapist, internalizing shit, etc AND refusing help aka avoiding Rebecca presumably. Something is wrong and only one person notices this and Ted tried to pretend he was fine.

This show has noticeably become darker, which typically doesn’t happen to alleged feel good comedies. When it does, it’s like an episode or two, but in the case of TL, it’s steadily been doing this season the first episode of season 2. Furthermore, it introduced many of these themes and plot lines on season 1.

The show has also made us re-examine many “funny” moments and assess if there is a different context behind what we believed we knew and saw.

The show for the most part has been very internally consistent because it’s never been bound by it’s genre.

It’s quite ironic and sad that one of the most repeated and (at times inappropriately used) iconic lines “be curious not judgmental” is only applied to assholes and shit behavior rather than super nice/people pleasers, such as Ted.

It reminds me of the poem “Not Waving But Drowning”, which I’ll copy and paste at the end. The title is essentially “on the tin”, but basically it’s about someone drowning and people not going to help because they thought this person was happy go lucky and waving at them. The person didn’t have any help while they were in a crisis because people missed the signs. Which pretty accurately describes what’s going on with others see Ted MINUS Rebecca.

Lastly, the show is an examination and deconstruction of niceness for better and worse. What does it mean to be nice? What drives people in how they treat others? It’s not saying niceness is the cure for everything and that it will fix us, it’s saying we should start with kindness. We should try to understand what’s going on and be sympathetic.

Hell, I don’t even think it’s saying everyone can be redeemed (aka Rupert as of now). It’s saying that when we try to be better people, not immediately give up on someone, and understand that other people have different experiences, that is something that can help us connect and understand one another better.

But we are all flawed and it takes accountability and hard work to right out wrongs. Not all is forgiven just because we see the error of our ways. We have to actively towards forgiveness not matter how hard.

What’s interesting about Ted is that he’s the catalyst behind this change in AFC Richmond, however, he’s one of the fundamentally misunderstood people on the show, which is intentional on his end. He hides what’s really going on with him because not even he wants to see it. His kindness is driven by genuineness, but also trauma from his dad’s death and bullying. It’s gotten so bad to the point that it’s pathological for him to be nice to the detriment of himself as he suppresses his own traumas.

People (un) intentionally use him and don’t reciprocate most of the time. To be fair to them, Ted wants it that way. Except they also aren’t paying attention. Yes, everyone has their own problems, but how is no one curious about the man who is always “happy” that just got a divorce and is separated from his kid most of the time? Who flat out admitted to that he took a job across the ocean for a sport he knew nothing about to give his wife space? Or that he had a panic attack during a major game?

At this point, Ted isn’t hiding his struggles all that well, yet only Rebecca realizes that he isn’t well.

Ironically, some fans use Ted Lasso as their feel good show all while overlooking what the show is trying to say about certain behaviors and relationships.

Although it takes nothing to be nice, don’t make others responsible for your happiness whether you are the giver or the receiver. It does no one any good.

Ted thinks helping others and avoiding his own problems will make him happy and it doesn’t. Even when his marriage was good, it was a band aid for his problems. As a result, he started unraveling because he wasn’t fixing things or fixing enough things and people.

The show is saying a lot and through subtext and nuance, which is being ignored because the show isn’t what people assumed it was. This show doesn’t exist to help people escape from their own problems and/or the pandemic. Like, it’s nice that it did for some, however, we have to allow the show to tell the story it wants to tell. They never misled anyone about the nature of the show.

On the other hand, the show has helped people who see parts of themselves in Ted and either want to get help or finally understand that some of their behavior are maladaptive and detrimental to themselves.

Some people are seeing what they want to see and projecting on the show (as they do many) and are criticizing TL for what it isn’t, rather than understanding what it is.

TL has many compelling things to say, but since it isn’t behaving how people want it to, they can’t engage meaningfully with the show, which is unfortunate.

——-

“Not waving but drowning”

Nobody heard him, the dead man,

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he’s dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning.

[matan4il]

I'm kind of laughing because I didn't realize that when Christopher got upset at Eddie dating he threw a salad. OK I'm actually busting a gut because what a metaphor for when Anna weirdly brings salad to the fire house.

I often joke I get hungry when I watch 911 because food is a weird theme and form of expression for the show. Bobby uses it as family time and to bond. Athena cooks with soul. We have had Maddie try new meatball recipes for Chim. When Hens mother comes back so much is around the dinner table. You don't go really an episode where there isn't family meals even if its in the fire house.

So to me it's funny because they used salad at the beginning of Anna and salad at the end. And it shows like how little investment I was supposed to feel because salads and muffins, or even the 2 exaggerated cakes for Carla. I never felt a connection between her and Chris over it because I never saw it and its so basic it wasnt warm and loving. Not sure if that makes sense. You feel love when they are eating and what food they make.

Also on a side note I live in Northern California and have experienced those black outs. No one makes that much salad or even buys that stuff when it happens. So I was like when you know you know. A more comparable situation would have been we cleared the freezer out and weirdly heres frozen burritos, chicken, fries and waffles TBH. So for me it really was a nod from the writers because they know

Hi Nonnie!

You're very right, food is a metaphor for love and home in the 911 verse, "those who cook (or eat cooked meals) together, stay together" sort of thing. So yes, it is very telling when Ana is trying to mimic that sense of home, yet all she ever makes is simple things that require no cooking, and never seems to do that with Eddie present, i.e she has no cooking partner... And TBH, even with Chris, we were told that Chris loves Ana, his teacher, and he was indeed happy to see her in 408 (which was in the middle of a pandemic, as he was already feeling like any semblance of normalcy and the people he loves are gone, so... that could have actually been amplified by the context), but did we ever really see them bond? We were mostly told they did. We were mostly assured that Ana had all the building blocks required to make Chris happy as Eddie's gf. But the show didn't make us feel Ana's emotional bond to the Diaz family unit, not like how we've been feeling it with Buck, which in a sense reflects back to us where Eddie is: he can see that Ana would as an idea fit in perfectly, but he doesn't feel it.

So yes, you're def right IMO about the symbolism! But I have to admit the funniest is whenever I see that scene in 408 where Chris throws his tantrum is that he's literally going, "not in front of my salad!" and that is just so iconic of him! XD

Thank you so much for this, with extra gratitude that you also shared of your experience in California black outs! I really appreciate it! xoxox

(To anyone else who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I’ve replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox)

[coldflasher]

my favourite legends of tomorrow memory will forever be from mid 2020, a few months into the first lockdown. i’d just finished my last semester of uni online, locked in the crappy student house that i shared with one of my best friends, doing all my final lectures and seminars on zoom and not getting to say goodbye to anyone because obviously we couldn’t leave the house. we’d handed our dissertations in and we had a few weeks left before we were due to move out, and we couldn’t go anywhere, so my friend and i sat down and rewatched all of legends in the space of about a week. 

so on this particular day, we were sat in our living room, which was also the kitchen. (this was a VERY SMALL HOUSE.) we’d been watching the show for probably four or five solid hours, squished up together on the world’s most HORRIBLE couch. you could barely fit two people on it and i swear it was made of rock. that couch destroyed both spines and butts. we didn’t have a tv, so we were pirating the show on my laptop using these shit speakers i bought SPECIFICALLY so we could watch legends every week. just so you get the impression of the kind of stir-crazy vibes that we had going on. 

i can’t even remember exactly what episode we were watching, or whether it was in s4 or s5, or the context. but in this episode, nora is arguing with damien and she’s getting super frustrated because he isn’t taking her seriously. they have this whole argument and eventually she snaps and yells “because i’m annoyed!” and damien, without missing a beat, goes “hey, annoyed! i’m dad!”

it was quite literally a dad joke. and a very weak dad joke at that. 

and when i tell you we CRIED

i cannot explain what exactly was so funny about that one particular throwaway line in an episode that both of us had already seen before, probably more than once, but we genuinely lost our shit to the point that we were literally both crying in pain because we’d laughed so much that it hurt. and it did NOT stop. we kept breaking down laughing for the rest of the day every time we thought of it. 

the thing is, i’ve seen this ep since and i cannot emphasize enough that it wasn’t that funny. it wasn’t even worthy of that air you blow through your nose, let alone the full-blown hysterics it got from us. to this day i have no idea what it was about that particular joke in that particular moment and why i almost cracked a rib laughing. whether it was pandemic brain or having just finished my degree or the fact i’d been cooped up in this tiny house inhaling dorito dust and watching the world’s most batshit insane tv show for a week straight, i don’t know. but that’s what legends gave me, you know? those moments, where it was all just so ridiculous and it made me forget about all the other bizarre crap going on in the world because a reformed magical assassin with a fairy godmother for a daughter made a terrible dad joke. that’s the kind of shit that made this show what it was. it was just so brilliantly stupid. and i love it so much.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[carriagelamp]

Art of Aardman

I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)

I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.

Bear

I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).

I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites

Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.

Kid Paddle

I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.

The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple

The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.

Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up

I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...

Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)

One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.

Mooncakes

Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.

New Boy In Town

One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.

(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)

Piggies

This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.

Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom

Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.