#the group part about it was weird af but still

[starryjkoo]

I've seen some people bringing up hickeygate for some reason so in the spirit of AYS?! release week, I’d like to talk about why I love hickeygate.

To begin with, I feel like a lot of people don’t understand that what makes hickeygate so funny isn’t even necessarily the hickey. Or rather, there’s too much focus on only the hickey when the whole thing is just hilarious and weird.

Like, apparently Jikook get drunk (alone) together and JK lifts Jimin bridal style, spins him around, and refuses to set him down even when Jimin gets super dizzy. And apparently Jimin’s drunken method of getting JK to set him down is to “bite” him on the neck in such a way that leaves a mark that looks exactly like a hickey. That’s weird! Every part of that is weird!

And what’s also kind of funny to me is that I think they told the story because imo in their eyes it really was all very innocent “see, we weren’t doing anything weird or wrong!” almost, defensive, if you will. Because technically, they weren’t doing anything inappropriate, they were just defending themselves/explaining the totally non-weird mark Jimin left on JKs neck. It wasn’t really a “hickey”, they have nothing to hide, they were just playing around, nothing untoward happened.

But I think it’s funny because imho it at the very least implies that Jikook have some weird-ass boundaries/behaviors, that they might be so deep into their strange dynamic, so used to and desensitized to it, that they don’t even recognize when they’re being weird af. Because, regardless, this situation is still ????

Most people don’t drunkenly spin their friends around bridal style and refuse to set them down and have hickeys bit (sucked??) onto their neck in response. I mean, maybe some do, but I definitely don’t think it’s the norm (and Jin’s & TH’s responses are hilarious). And certainly most people would realize that leaving what looks like a hickey on your friends neck is going to be perceived a certain way regardless of what story you tell or how it came about, and would maybe cover it up to save themselves the embarrassment if they were bothered by the implications. But clearly that’s not what happened. They were out and proud of that thing lol (well Jimin seemed a bit sheepish about what happened lol).

Anyways the whole thing is funny and very weird and says something about their dynamic and weird physical boundaries and what they might be like when they’re drunk and alone together (which seems like something they do/did a lot). We also now know they also have in depth discussions about singing to the point they get lost in their own little world even when they're with others which is cute too.

Anyways, I know I’m not crazy to point out that their dynamic is weird and their intimacy boundaries are weird and their dynamic can read a certain way because I’ll always point to one of my other very favorite Jikook moments — Rainy Day fight — particularly the way that the other members responded. Like, continuously cringing for no reason, shivering and yelling “ew”, calling it a drama, singing a kdrama song at them, smiling and laughing, which is all honestly hilarious, and unnecessary, and validating lol. Especially because it didn’t really deter Jikook, who were just telling that story as it was, with JK seemingly pretty serious and invested in making sure Jimin got the details right.

So yeah, that is just how they come off, even to their own group that already have loose boundaries - and I just love that about Jikook. Love their weird drunken shenanigans and their dramatic as hell couple like rain fights, and how soft and silly they are in general.

Also shout-out to the retelling of the Rainy Day story where they both separately took the blame because they're mature, considerate and sweet towards each other like that. Also the fact that it was something JK felt sorry for years down the line, even though clearly there were no hard feelings about it. I feel like they probably didn’t fight that often if a fight in which they immediately made up was on his mind like that lol. Also the fact that what upset JK so deeply was Jimin’s threat of not caring about him anymore.

Anyways, I hope we get to see some drunken shenanigans in AYS. They did cut out whatever tussle occurred on that mosquito net during ITS though, so idk what they’ll actually show in the end, but I’m here for it.

[iwritefandomimagines]

I COULD KISS YOU — GREG HOUSE

masterlist

pairing: greg house x reader

description: when an offhand comment to praise house for helping you diagnose a patient leads to the silent treatment, you’re both forced to confront the feelings that had been lingering unspoken for too long.

warnings: swearing, angst to a teeny bit of fluff, may be a lil ooc as i’m still iffy on fleshing out how i write the house characters but i’m trying <3

author’s note: had this idea and got excited so bashed it out quite quickly while i was motivated af — hopefully you enjoy !!! let me know what you think

“Gregory House, you bloody genius,” you exclaimed, clenching your fists in excitement, unable to stop the words that came flying out next, “I could kiss you!”

You’d been trying to diagnose your patient for nigh on a week now, and with the young boy’s symptoms rapidly progressing and his condition rapidly worsening, House’s diagnostic expertise provided exactly the breakthrough you needed.

You were ecstatic — mentally piecing together just how he had to be correct — and so without another word you practically skipped out of his office to run some tests and reach the certainty needed to treat the boy as soon as possible.

What House had suggested made perfect sense, accounting for every symptom and every adverse reaction to the treatments you had tried so far, and though you usually mocked his tendency to always smugly assume he was right, at present you were immeasurably grateful for his input.

You were disappointed, then, when you rushed to tell him that the young boy was responding incredibly well to the treatment he suggested and he simply gave you his smug “I-told-you-so” smile and rushed away from you.

He didn’t speak to you again for the rest of the day, choosing instead to actually take time to visit his patients rather than deal with encountering you again.

“What did I do to piss House off?” you asked Cameron, Foreman and Chase shyly as you stood near the nurse’s station with them.

They all just eyed you like the answer was obvious, but Chase shrugged, “When has anyone ever needed to actually do something to piss him off?”

“No, he won’t even talk to me right now,” you frowned, brows furrowed, “It’s weird. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong since this morning.”

The group all looked between eachother, as though deciding who would be the one to have to tell you the honest truth.

“Probably something to do with your little ‘I could kiss you’,” Chase replied, doing a terrible impersonation of you and batting his eyelids flirtatiously as he quoted you, “He didn’t seem to like that very much.”

Your mouth was parted in confusion, “Firstly, I do not sound like that. But secondly, why would he give me the silent treatment for that? Is the idea of kissing me that repulsive?”

Cameron scoffed, rolling her eyes, “You’re both as oblivious as each other, Y/N… He’s ignoring you for literally the opposite reason.”

You shook your head in disbelief.

Was she seriously trying to tell you that House was ignoring you because he didn’t like you joking about kissing him?

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

“It’s literally painfully obvious, Y/N,” Foreman groaned, “You’ve had this weird sexual tension going on forever and given that he’s usually bad at giving a damn about people, he gets weird about you. And he obviously has feelings for you, so it rubbed him up the wrong way.”

Chase chuckled, “They’re right. He’s only mad at you because you’re the only person he’s never mad at but you hurt the feelings he apparently has.”

You pondered what he was saying for a moment, trying to piece together whether there was any semblance of truth behind their explanation for House’s weird behaviour.

Truth be told, it was the exact kind of petty and ill-fitting behaviour you’d expect from House.

For such a brilliant man, he could be utterly childish at times, especially if he wasn’t getting his way.

Your relationship had always teetered on the edge of professionalism — he was always making flirtatious comments, he always took your suggestions on board more than the others, always sung your praises to your peers and superiors.

Whilst everyone else was certain it was proof of his feelings for you, you had just thought he appreciated that you never pried into his life unless he offered to divulge information himself, and you were excellent at your job.

Of course, you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed your ambiguous relationship, given the crush you had harboured since very early on in your acquaintance. That’s why you always flirted back, always made sure your input was carefully though out, and why you were always singing his praises too.

But it was Greg House — a man who so famously behaved as though he didn’t care about anyone. So of course you didn’t think that things would ever progress past your unprofessional professional relationship.

“Where is he?”

“In his office,” Cameron smiled, “He told me to make sure nobody bothered him, and I think he meant you because he’s still throwing his toys out of the pram.”

You rolled your eyes with a laugh, “God, he’s ridiculous. I’m going to go and talk to him. Or try, anyway. Wish me luck.”

“Is this House we’re talking about?” Dr. James Wilson made an appearance at your side now, his brow quirked in curiosity as he butted into the conversation.

You nodded, “He’s being a baby instead of actually talking to me about why he’s mad.”

You hoped he’d have some kind of more concrete explanation, given that he was the only person House was even remotely honest around.

“He’s hardly an expert at talking about his feelings, is he? Or having them, actually,” Wilson chuckled, “But he’s been grumbling all day. Please do go and speak to him. For my sanity’s sake, if not your relationship’s.”

“Slow down, Wilson,” you scoffed, but though you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, you couldn’t deny the fluttering in your stomach at any sort of reference to you and House’s potential relationship, “I’m going!”

You entered the room without even knocking, folding your arms over your chest with a stern expression on your features as you strode towards his desk and stood firmly in front of him.

“I’m busy.”

“Busy being petty and ignoring me?”

He looked up now, narrowing his eyes as he realised you were not going to meekly scuttle away like you had done every other time he’d dismissed you today.

“What makes you think that?” sarcasm dripped from his words, “I just so enjoy spending time getting to know my patients and doing paperwork!”

You huffed out a sigh, frustrated by him already trying to dodge the subject, “Greg.”

“Y/N.”

“Greg!”

“Y/N!” he matched your tone just to challenge you, and you scoffed, “Are you really going to be like this?”

“Like what?”

“So deliberately evasive?”

His lips drew together in a thin line as he eyed you carefully, “How’s your little boy from this morning?”

“You are so fucking frustrating, Greg,” you scowled, “Can we have an adult conversation here?”

He appeared to ponder over another joke to make, but apparently for the first time in his life thought better, as he remained silent and waited for you to continue.

“I’ve been so stressed out about that kid, and you helped me to help him massively — he’s likely to be discharged by tomorrow. I was so happy, so relieved, and I said I could kiss you,” you began, avoiding his gaze at first until your final sentence, “And it was a silly offhanded comment about how grateful I was, but at the same time I honestly could’ve kissed you because I quite honestly want to a lot of the time.”

Oh my God — you’d stunned the Greg House into silence?

Your breathing was jagged, “I don’t know if you’re just being an ass because you don’t like being on the other end of jokes, or if the team actually aren’t just blind hopeless romantics and you actually care about me. But I just wish you’d talk to me instead of doing all this and making me feel like you don’t care at all.”

He pulled himself up onto his feet, grabbing his cane to lean on as he inched closer to you.

“It’s a bit of both,” his voice was low, and you were sure that if you didn’t know him better you might believe him to be shy about telling you the truth, “I’m not good at caring, and I don’t usually like caring, but I guess I do. Sue me!”

You took another step forward, so that you were so close you were breathing right in each other’s faces.

You were trying to be brave and command the conversation, but your stomach was doing backflips as it dawned on you that what he meant was that he really did feel the same about you.

“Why would you go silent on me then instead of talking to me about it?” you bit your lip as you spoke, and caught notice of how his eyes trailed to your lips as you did so.

He swallowed thickly, “Didn’t feel right to. Hardly professional, is it?”

“Oh, because you’re the picture of professionalism usually aren’t you?” you laughed dryly.

“Point taken,” he shrugged, “Maybe I was little scared. And we’ve got a good thing going, it’s a risk pushing things any further.”

You weren’t happy with that, not when this was Greg House — king of taking risks and breaking rules — and you were certain that it was a risk worth taking anyway.

“When has risk ever stopped you?” you asked, whispering now as your eyes darted between his and his lips whilst he mirrored your behaviour.

“Point also taken,” he mumbled, before finally taking the plunge and bringing his lips to yours in a heated kiss that you leaned into immediately.

He quickly leaned back to sit on the edge of his desk, his hands finding your waist as he pulled you to stand between his parted legs.

You pulled back, suddenly aware that anyone could come in at this moment and see you — and whilst the biggest risk here really was endless teasing from the team or a scolding from Cuddy, you did still have some things to discuss too.

You didn’t want to ruin the moment, overcome with giddiness at what had just happened, but you wanted to make your feelings clear; Even if it was to a man who would probably make a jokey remark and underplay his own feelings.

“I don’t know your relationship history, and I don’t care to,” you shrugged, moving your hands to your hips but hardly moving away from him, “Well, I’m not rushing to. I can assume it’s not great, but I just want to take every day as it comes and see where things go because mine isn’t great either. I’m not gonna hurt you, Greg.”

The sincerity in his eyes as he gazed up at you made your heart melt, and you could tell that somehow, some way, you had gotten through to him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t be certain that you’ll keep, Y/N,” he mumbled, before shaking off his own words and standing back up to stare into your eyes intently, “But fine. Because it’s you, I’m willing to try. Provided there’s more of this,” he kissed you again before continuing, “And less of them ogling and concocting their little romantic stories about the lovely doctor Y/N and her damaged old fool.”

You turned around to see the entire team peering through the window, all smiles and whispered chatter at the sight before them.

You raised your middle finger to them, turning back to look at House and stepping back a little from him.

“Unfortunately, those nosey fuckers are not going anywhere,” you rolled your eyes, “If you’re willing to try then we’re going for dinner. Tonight. And we’re going to have a good time, and not talk about this place or about anything you don’t want to.”

He nodded, “I’ll pretend I’m not furious you’ve robbed me of making the grand romantic gesture of being the one to ask,” he cocked his head as he joked, truthfully very much pleased you were the one to ask and confirm that your interest in him was genuine, “But sounds good to me. I’ll wear my nicest tux, eh.”

“Yeah, yeah, ha ha,” you hummed, “Now I’ve got a living patient to go and visit thanks to you. Enjoy your afternoon with that lot,” you gestured to your friends, who were all still stood there watching you, “Good luck. Oh, and pick somewhere to book for us to eat. That can be your grand romantic gesture, hm.”

“Gee, thanks,” he laughed, shaking his head, “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later,” you grinned, swanning out of his office with the biggest smile possible painting your features.

You nudged past your friends as they watched you walk down the corridor, happier than they had probably ever seen you in the time that you’d known them.

They immediately filed into House’s office when you were out of sight, and his head fell back in irritation for a moment despite the smile still gracing his lips.

“Things went well, then?”

“Go away,” he replied, “I’m in a good mood for once, and you idiots aren’t going to ruin that, alright?”

“Woah, okay,” Foreman laughed, “Who are you and what has Y/N done with Greg House?”

———

thanks for reading !!! i hope enjoyed and this wasn’t too ooc lol. let me know what you though pleaaase & if you’d like — feel free to request!

in the meantime, here is my masterlist!

[secretsecretbunny]

Just friends: stray kids smau.

Get to know the characters/story set up.

pairing: lee minho x f!reader - roommate!skz.

genre: fluff, angst, smau, (maybe smut in the future idk yet, may have written parts as well) roommates au.

notes/set up: boys are non idols, but some still do music/dance + other jobs. they all live together in a big ass house that's owned by richboy!felix's family. chan, minho, changbin, and y/n were college friends. chan and felix are cousins. felix, hyunjin, han, seungmin, and innie were college friends. literally all college dropouts which is what they all bonded over. ended up living together by association basically. chan, bin, and han are still 3racha, and are known, just not famous.

↓about them↓

chan: nicknames- channie, dad, pops, paparacha, sometimes gets called chris but usually only when someone's mad/serious. producer for social media musicians/small time musicians, and 3racha. almost always at the studio. group dad. supportive, sweet, helpful, responsible, overworker, protective, peace keeper. loves his friends more than anything, also loves music, romcoms, running/jogging, working out with changbin. well off but not super rich.

minho: nicknames- min, catboy, grumpy, twinkle toes, dancing queen, loverboy, hoe. choreographer/dance instructor. cold on the outside, squishy in the middle. doesn't express his feelings well, but tends to be softer around y/n. loves cats, movie nights, night walks/drives, and true crime podcasts. social weed smoker and drinker. hardworker, sarcastic, flirty, funny, makes inappropriate jokes. he likes to pretend he doesn't care, but secretly does.

changbin: nicknames- binnie, bin, binbo, crybaby, muscle man, beefcake. personal trainer, duh. loud. straight up himbo. his appearance scares people but he's protective, kind, caring, and will cry at cute things/when he's happy. absolutely loves cute things, y/n's cooking, cheesy TV dramas, rapping, working out, and affection. all around soft boy until you piss him off.

hyunjin: nicknames- hyune, hyunnie bun, jinnie, gorgeous, rapunzel, punzie, bob ross. he's rich. also sells his art. sarcastic, blunt, artistic, boujie, addicted to shopping. also likes to pretend he doesn't care, but probably cares too much. loves painting, drawing, and being lazy with his friends. a little in love with felix, no one can tell if he's serious or not. will absolutely start painting on the walls, floors, or ceilings just because he can. everyone loves it though.

jisung: nicknames- hanji, ji, hannie, babygirl, smokeshow, bud, han yolo. does random odd jobs and makes a suspicious amount of money from it + sometimes streams with felix. stoner, great friend, supportive, anxious, hyper, has mad adhd, loves anime, rapping, and sweets. he's a little weird but in a good and cute way. loves sharing his weed with his friends. also loud.

felix: nicknames- lixie, lix, pixie, sunshine, golden boy, richy rich, brownie boy, angel. also just rich, part time streamer. literally sunshine ofc. social butterfly. always trying to drag y/n or one of the boys somewhere. sweet, generous, kind, happy, excitable, loves cute things, baking, video games, and also anime. him and ji bond over it.

seungmin: nicknames- seungminnie, minnie, puppy, bitch, dickhead, devil. luxury dog walker (started his own dog walking business). sarcastic, sometimes rude, easily annoyed, but overall a great friend. likes dogs more than people. protective af but tries to hide it. will 100% shut off his rude and sarcastic comments if his friends really need him. loves pranks, coffee, singing, writing, and scary movies.

jeongin: nicknames- innie, in, babyboy, coffee boy, bigmouth. barista at a fancy coffee shop. wants to make his own money and not live off of his wealthy parents. sweet, kind, generous, can be sarcastic when he wants to be. loves animals, coffee, video games, asmr, and singing. can't keep a secret to save his life. plays innocent but is definitely not. once smoked weed and and cried because he couldn't remember how to make a latte. never smoked again. he's the only one of the boys who calls y/n noona.

y/n: nicknames- bug, bubs, princess, tiny, sweetheart, pretty, feisty, attitude, noona. has lots of secrets and trauma. no one knows what she does for work. she refuses to tell the boys and any time they have tried to find out she catches on and puts a stop to it. they just know she's getting paid well. sweet, kind, funny, people pleaser, messy. has an attitude sometimes and can hold a grudge. when in a fight or flight situation it's 50/50. she'll either punch you in the face or run so far her legs turn to jelly. acts confident and bold: isn't. just a great actress. gets sad often but pretends she's not. loves cooking, ghibli movies, plants/flowers, cuddling, fire, and her friends. hates her family. smokes with ji a lot but is a social drinker. she grew up really poor so she tends to get anxious about spending money/people spending money on her. 100% gets princess treatment regardless.

Socials:

part one || part 1.5 || part two || part three

[bridgetoesoteria]

☕👀Messy Tarot: Who wishes they could be you?

Ever wondered if you had your very own Stan? Well, now you get to know that and more for the very low price of "picking a picture and scrolling down to your pileee" *cue Price is Right song*

Left to right as per us. See you at your pile. May the odds ever be in your favor (aka I hope it resonates lol).

I am using multiple decks so I won't be listing the cards like usual.

**TW: Substance use/abuse**

Pile 1

Off the bat: You may be aware of this person already. For some of you it is a blonde woman or man. They feel a little shady like they aren't fully trustworthy. Like the kind of person to be secretly competing with you and trying to sabotage you. You could work or go to school together.

Who wishes they could be you?

I am getting a lot of masculine energy from the first few cards I've pulled. I'm saying this because I pulled the King of Wands, the King of Swords is a few cards under the bottom of the deck, and a lot of the other cards have guys on them.

This person feels kind of bitter. This could be a scorned lover of some kind like either your ex or the person you are with's ex. I also think this person could have a bit of a temper or be quite defensive and have a fragile ego. You may have had an argument with them. I'm already getting some of the "why" but I'm still trying to describe who they are lol.

This is so weird lol. Like...the question is who wishes they could be you, not be with you, and yet I'm getting heavy ex energy. If this isn't an ex, this is someone that feels rejected by you in some way. Do people really date and person and wish to be them? I've never heard of that but I have heard of partner's who are jealous of the other partner's success and other things.

For some of you, this could be someone that envies your dating life. So in some way, they would be aware of what is going on in your love life. You could be confiding in them or they could be in a position that allows them to "eavesdrop." For example, they could be in the next cubicle over and listen when you and a coworker gossip, they could follow your social media, or they could be part of your friend group.

Finally, this could be someone that is either actively trying to get you to reconcile with them or they are trying to manifest that. They really want to reach out to you and if they haven't, its because of their stubbornness.

Why?...

I pulled some cards from a nontarot deck I got from amazon and 💀.

"If you could be in a one-sided relationship, would you?"

I don't know why that one is sending me but it was on the bottom of the deck and I just could not. Like what did y'all do to this person. They feel salty and scorned af lol. Cause wtf kind of question is that. Or on the other hand, this could be what they tried to do with you. I did pull the King of Wands which can be a manipulative, man hoeish type.

So when I mentioned that I was already getting a "why," this is kind of what I was picking up on. These cards are repeating it more clearly. One, I still think this person envies how you are able to date and move about socially. You could be outspoken and passionate and they wish they were that bold. Also, if this is an ex, its not so much that they want to be you, its more like they want to be in control of you. Like say they did propose some bs like the above, "hey babe, why don't you be monogamous with me, while I run the streets?😃" You may have peaced out and now they wish they could get inside your head and be able to influence your decisions. Think of like transformers or something, where you can just hop in a robot and move it around. For the record, I think this is fucked. No one should be anyone's puppet so if you recognize this person, you def made the right choice when you rejected them.

For others, you could be really good with animals and envy that. Say you are a vet or volunteer and a shelter and you seem to just be such a natural. I'm definitely picking up the energy of somebody that envies your work ethic and material success. I also keep hearing "you're solid." So you could have a pretty stable life in some way. Maybe a good family background, a supportive social circle, and financial security. I think even if you did fall on hard times, you would bounce back. This person wishes they had the same. You may also travel a lot. They really admire that. I think this person really just wants your life. This particular energy doesn't feel as malicious, more kind of sad. Its this kind of vibe:

Last but not least, I am also getting that they want to be like you because of how much you love yourself. You have strong boundaries and self-respect. Other people probably respect you as well. You are confident and you choose happiness and peace.

TL;DR: This could be a salty ex, someone that feels rejected by you, or a person that is observing your life/love life. The ex or rejected person is a control freak that wants to "be" you just so they can turn you into a yesman. They want to be able to control your decision making. The other people envy your life, your success, and your self love. From the outside, it seems like you have all the things most people dream of.

Pile 2

Off the bat: Either you or this person could be a busy bee. You are always on the go with a ton of things on your to-do list. Some of you could be this jumpy and hyperactive because of a mental illness, specifically I'm getting OCD, anxiety, or ADD/ADHD. This could be someone that is uptight and tends to be very curt when you speak to them. They could hold a high position like an executive director, principal, or supervisor. For others, this is younger person, may adolescent up to early 20s.

And this is so weird but for some of you...this could literally be your therapist or possibly your client.

Who wishes they could be you?

This could be someone who, in some way, is on the opposite side of whatever your current life experience is. Specifically, they could be experiencing a breakup or divorce while you are still in a relationship or you are happily single. If they are single, I don't think they are happy like that. They could be quite standoffish.

I feel the last piles energy coming through and uh uh lol nope.

But speaking of the last pile, this could be that one energy I was getting of someone that is observing their love life. It feels like that. Maybe this person has a partner that does not respect them or their boundaries.

For some of you this episode of Bob's Burgers could be significant. Gene dresses up as Bob, after Linda compares the two of them. He has a "mid-childhood crisis." He worries about turning into his dad. So for some of you this could be someone that is under you in some way and expected to "become" you. So it could be a person that gets compared to you often, your child or younger sibling, a more junior colleague.

This person could have gone through some kind of loss or betrayal recently. For a very small amount of you, they think you took their person or they were trying to do that to you.

Why?...

This mistress story line is popping back up. So this person could want to be you in order to have whoever your with. Whether they are the current or ex partner or they are a wannabe third party.

This could also be someone that feels like you have the affection of some that hates them. I think they may need to work on their self-esteem because why would you seek approval from a person who isn't nice to you. So they could be kind of broken and need to work on themselves. They could wish they had your luck or your ability to move on and be resilient.

This person could feel like you are more interesting and that you live a more interesting life. Some of them envy your youth, because they feel like you have more options that they do. This could be talking about love but it could also talk about opportunities. Going back to the executive energy that came through. Say you are a young professional so maybe you recently graduated from college or grad school. You start a new company. This would be a higher up that could feel kind of complacent in their position, have a marriage that is falling apart, and they look at you as having less that is holding you back. You could easily up and leave this job, you may even be able to choose a whole new career path without greatly upsetting your life. They could see a lot of people flirting with you or just generally flocking to you.

This person tries not to compare themselves to you but they can't help it. I think they are just in a bad place in their life and look at you wistfully and imagine how much better it must be. They could say positive affirmations and try to build themselves up. They may even attend counseling. They could bring you up a lot.

TL;DR: This is someone who is going through a rough patch in their life and looks at you life and imagines that it is much better than theirs. People like you better, you have more opportunities, you have more freedom. Its like you are living an alternate reality from their perspective. I do think they are working on healing themselves but they still have a long way to go. They try not to sabotage their process by comparing themselves to you but they can't help.

Pile 3

Off the bat: Ooo this much lighter energy than the previous piles. I immediately got a goofball/class clown energy. This person could also be a stoner. I am getting boyish energy like a tomboy, an adolescent male, or a childhood friend. Some of you may have rode bikes with this person before. So maybe you grew up on the same street or your parents were friends. Could also be a cousin. I'm just feeling happier and happier, like I smoked but I didn't lol so I know its not me. So they could make you happy or you could make each other happy. They could come have a sad family history

Who wishes they could be you?

So you may have had to cut this person off. You may have grown up together but gone down two different paths in life and you drifted apart. I think they envy your family life or something about your foundation. They could seem to be unlucky. They could get into a lot of legal trouble. They could struggle with some form of addiction or mental illness.

You could know them to always be in the center of some kind of drama. They could instigate fights or be someone that has a hard time walking away from an argument. The sort of person who can't ignore when someone brushes past them in the club. They can't just let it go, they have to confront the person. It doesn't matter whether it was intentional or just because its packed.

They are not respectful and could have a sharp, critical tongue. You may not trust them. People could find them untrustworthy. They may not even trust themselves tbh. For others, this person isn't that toxic. They may have made bad decision but they are trying to get back on their feet. People may have given up on them but I don't think they wanted it to be that way. They may struggle with maintaining progress.

I do think this could be family. You could have them on Facebook. Specifically, I am getting father, grandfather, a mother (so doesn't have to be your mom but they have kids), a female cousin. They could have gone away for some time to get better. For example, going on a social media detox, going to rehab, going to a women's shelter. If this is father figure or patriarch, they are quite overbearing. Probably more traditional and chauvinistic. If this is a female cousin, this person could have to deal with a rigid, or traditional family or society.

Why?...

I'm hearing songs from the Little Mermaid. So I don't every one of these people have bad feelings towards you. I think they just think you have more freedom and fun than them. I am specifically getting for some of you, you could be of South Asian descent. You or your family may have relocated to a North American or European country. This could be a family member that has you on social media. They could see you doing things that they are not allowed to do where they are. If you don't resonate with some of your family being overseas, this could be that your cousins parents are strict but your parents are more lax.

You may have already figured this out because of the last pile, but this person could wish their lives were on track like yours. They could wish they had made better choices when they were younger, or sometime in the past, so they could be a different person now.

This person really admires you. They find you fearless and unstoppable. If you did struggle with something like an addiction, eating disorder, or something else, you may overcame it. This could also be someone that you are "sponsoring," I think that's what its called. You know how in support groups, you take someone new under your wing?

They could think you are really beautiful inside out. If you post pictures, you always look good. You always seem to be glowing. You have a definite lust for life. Word to Lana

TL;DR: This could be someone you grew up with or a family member. This could be friend that has faced a lot of challenges. This could be a family member who has to deal with much more restrictive societal expectations. This person mostly feels like they really admire you. You are a forced to be reckoned with. You are everything they wish they could be. They want to be able to overcome challenges and be powerful like you. They also think you are gorgeous and have the best social media page.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I felt the need to play the Bing Bong remix with Sexyy Red. So I feel like this person be a little ratchet lol. Or they could be a rapper or musician of some kind. If this isn't them, it could be describing you. They could be a stripper, camgirl or city girl type. I do think this person is fun too. They have a quiet strength to them. This could also be someone's baby momma.

Who wishes they could be you?

This could be multiple feminine energies or women. Its reminding me of this messyyy ass situation I was in irl lolz. So you could be have been with someone that was a player. You may or may not have known that about them. I guess some of you could still be with this person. I don't think its them that wishes they were you. I think its the people they were talking to simultaneously that wish they were you.

There is one person who is coming through stronger than the others. There could be a specific ex that you know does not like you. They could have wanted to built something with this person.

I think this is a person who works in some kind of piscean sort of field. They are selling dreams/fantasies in some way. They could be a fashion designer or artists. They could be some kind of sex worker. They could work in nightlife as a promoter or bartender. They could sell goodies bags *wink wink*.

They could have involvement with the law or be going through a custody battle. You could have exchanged words through text or over social media. You may not be speaking right now. They may have tried to contact you or they want to extend an olive branch. I'm not sure why I am picking up on attraction. It does feel like a feminine energy. If you are a girl then this would be a girl that's high key obsessed with you and doesn't know if they want to be you or be with you.

Why?...

For those of you who were resonating with the baby mama drama storyline, they think if they were you, then they could have their family back. Like that would be the cheatcode for fixing the third party situation. I'm not sure if it even is a true third party situation anymore or if it ever was. Your partner could have totally moved on from them and this person won't fully grieve the ending of their relationship. So its definitely giving delulu...

For the people resonating with the same sex story line, may not realize that they are attracted to you. Even if they do, they may be trying to keep that to themselves. They think you are cool. It feels like a combination of admiration and infatuation. Some of them wish they could have your life. Not in a creepy way, unless you know this person is weird. But its more like, they would like to be "cookie cutter" perfect. They mean that in the best way. They want to be conventionally attractive, have a perfect family, have a socially acceptable sexuality, be talented and well liked. You may not interact with this person much because, one, it feels like they kind of blend into the background or like they are on the periphery of your social circle. Two, no one's life is picture perfect like this. Unless they are just someone who struggles with idolizing people, they must not be close enough to you to see the flaws.

On the flipside, you could be viewing someone else like this. You could think they have it all together but really they wish they could stop caring about the shackles that bind them. They want to be free and to explore something else.

This person also wishes they were you because they think you are more loveable than them. If they were you they would feel more worthy and deserving of love. Especially, unconditional love. So they may struggle to forgive themselves for past decisions. Being you would give them a clean slate.

TL;DR: This could be your current or past partner's ex. They may have had children together. This person could work in nightlife, sex work, or something that you don't exactly report on your taxes iykwim. They could also be an artist of some kind. Lastly, they may be someone who is observing your life. They aren't close enough to you to see the imperfections. So they have a much more idealized view of who you are. They believe that being you would allow them to have a clean slate and the perfect life.

Pile 5

Off the bat: You could have a lot of self-discipline. This could be someone that lacks that. This could be a previous workout buddy or accountability partner of some sort. You could be in college or have known them in college. Winter could be a significant season. Someone's name could be Jason. If you play sports this could be someone else that plays sports, they could be on a rival team also.

Who wishes they could be you?

There could be something notable about the way this person smells. They could be toxic or attracted to toxic people. They could be obsessed with gaining approval from the opposite sex. So maybe you know them to be kind of a pickme, a simp, or a little thirsty. If this is a girl, she could be insecure and view other women as competitors.

This person probably uses unhealthy coping mechanisms to process their emotions. They could be a cheerleader or someone who tries to come across bubbly. They feel like they have to earn love. Again, I don't think they choose the healthiest partnerships. They could care a lot about their outer appearance. So, they could be kind of vain or hypercritical.

I think this person is apart of your social group. I think you know this person and may interact with them often. They kind of give me mean girl vibes. They could have been cut off by you or others for playing dirty. They could throw people under the bus, "steal" boyfriends, and/or say nasty things about others. Even if this is a guy, they could behave in a similar manner. Whoever they are, they are not all the way trustworthy. I wouldn't trust them at all just going off this energy.

I'm also being reminded of this girl I went to high school with. She had the same vibe. Kind of vain, a mean girl, always talking to a guy. I always felt like there was something off about her but she was "popular," so everyone was kind of dismissive about that. Well, later, my sister ends up befriending her sister and I find out that she is actually a diagnosed sociopath... So yeah, maybe that resonates. She also was bipolar. So this person could possibly struggle with their mental health and/or their ability to empathize with others.

Why?...

I think they respect you as a "competitor." You know what they say, if you can't beat 'em join 'em. But its more like, you join them. If they could get you to join their clique and be a follower of theirs, it would make them so happy. It would really validate them. It kind of reminds me of one of the other piles. That person did not necessarily want to be that person, they wanted to be in control of them. I'm kind of getting the same vibe here. If they could get in your head, they could either take credit for your successes or they could get you to self-sabotage. Like they are kind of plotting on you.

There could be something about them wanting your romantic option(s). If there was some kind of drama, you may have come out on the winning side. This person really feels like they don't like you. They envy the things you have and see becoming you as a shortcut. They could even consider adopting some of your traits. If they are trying to get into your good graces, I think they may actually be trying to get at your partner.

You could have more opportunities in life than this person. Or they think you have better opportunities. Like they may have a "grass is greener on the other side" view of your life. For some of you this person may have no real reason to envy your life, they just aren't grateful for what they have. For others, they don't want to work to achieve those things (going back to the former accountability partner). They also think you have more people that love you for you. You are a trendsetter.

TL;DR: This could be someone that is a mean girl type. They could be a former gym buddy or accountability partner. They could also be an athlete or a player on a rival team. This person chases approval of the opposite gender and may be willing to betray others to get it. They envy the opportunities you have in life and love. They could want your partner. They wish people loved them, the way they love you.

The next reading I'll post will be the last one on the poll, "Toxicity: What would have happened if you stayed?" That reading will be great for anyone that is second guessing walking away from a situation.

TTYL 💖

~ K

[metatronhateblog]

As you all know by now

Metatron is sus af. And if you haven't noticed, or you live under a rock (no judgement here) I'm here to add some interesting things I have noticed as someone so obsessed with this show I can only see in the colors and outlines of Good Omens at any given moment.

Fair warning, the only theories or analysies I see are sent to me by my sister, or appear on my dash (and I don't follow many Good Omens blogs that theorize.) So if any of this has been stated or pointed out before, apologies. I'm trapped in tunnel vision mixed with an aching brain.

This one's a doozy and a conglomeration of stuff that I have noticed that I'm not sure actually hold any significance so hang in there, it's worth it.

SO. Let's dive in.

First things first, lots of different theories going around, not sure I believe a lot of them but am fully willing to indulge, and admire the effort people put it. I'm not a huge fan of the 'Metatron poisoned Aziraphale theory' but I have a feeling this post might possibly give those girlies a little 'W.' We'll see, I have various points to touch on.

Something fucked is going on with Metatron. For starters it's very uncomfortable to me, and hits very strangely that no one recognizes him (except Crowley.) Which is so strange because we previously see Michael, Uriel, Gabriel, and Saraqael all in a meeting with the Metratron about....oh maybe ten minutes prior, not to mention Muriel and Crowley were there witnessing it also??? Hello? Why does only Crowley recognize this person that this group of people have seen (Saraqael and Muriel only moments before at the same time as Crowley.)

So how come Crowley is the only one who recognized him??? Sus to me. Any thoughts as to why cause I have none....

But then things to me seem to get a little weirder. I enjoy playing with audio, cutting out background audio and emphasizing little things that might sounds strange to me. And I went through checking all of episode 6 for any weirdly placed miracle noises or waving of hands, and I came up with three things (one of them was actually from episode 5 though).

1.) There's a miracle noise after Aziraphale asks Metatron what they'll be doing in heaven and Metatron responds with 'It's something we call the Second Coming.' This one, with a lot of back tracking and examining other scenes, I've come to the conclusion is simply the elevator being summoned, though I do find it strange to hear the noise yet not see that miracle happen.

2.) In episode 5, during The Ball ™️, Maggie walks up to Nina who is sitting in a chair and offers a hand to dance. Aziraphale, my beloved, is watching so happily and excitedly from the side while holding a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Right when Nina grabs Maggie's hand there's a miracle noise. I'm not sure if it's part of the overall thing Aziraphale has cast over the bookshop, or if it's him from the side and we once again don't see it...(which feels weird) but it's there. And if it is because of the overall miracle cast over the shop then why don't we hear that sound every time something happens that is effected by said miracle. Something is weird about that one to me, but that's not Metatron related sorry. (Here's a screenshot from the exact moment if anyone is wanting to go looking for it.)

And 3.) My big one. This noise is...so unsettling to me. The first time I heard it I flinched. I still cannot figure out if it's part of the soundtrack or if it is a separate noise that segues into the soundtrack or not. But this one. So when Metatron originally enters the bookshop there is obviously a commotion and then once he gets everyone to leave, he looks at Aziraphale and tells him he wants to speak with him or have 'a chinwag' (weirdly Earth term if you ask me) and then offers Aziraphale a coffee who then takes it and sips it blah blah blah we all know that part. But then Metatron says something...weirder. He mentions that he's also consumed things before...which...makes something about him feel all the weirder. He then again asks Aziraphale to chat with him. Aziraphale hesitates and looks to Crowley who is lounging behind him who tells him to go ahead because the 'day can't get any weirder.'

Immediately following that is where I am horribly sus. Aziraphale looks at Metatron who gives him this kind smile and ushers him forward, and once Aziraphale can't see them anymore, Metatron turns a glare onto Crowley, who I'm not sure if we see him acknowledge this sudden cold change.

But that's not the sus part. In my opinion the sus part is the audio. THE MOMENT his demeanor changes to glare at Crowley. We get this little....noise that sounds like a deep kinda dark little twinkle of some sort (and holy shit I'm screaming over this noise because upon checking the official soundtrack the noise is not there) that sounds like magic is happening. And it just. I have listened to the dark way the soundtrack picks up and listened to it through over and over searching for any more signs of that out of place noise and I CAN'T FIND IT. So because I care deeply and am not going to make you people go hunting for this one, I have a screen recording of the audio clip. I kinda took the audio of an actual miracle noise first (I was using it as my reference) and then all the audio surrounding that noise and reduced it, but kept that noise kinda emphasized by not touching it at all. (My apologies now because my editing audio isn't the greatest, I'm no professional, and I did get the first notes of the soundtrack starting in there too.)

HOLY SHIT????? HELLO???? What was that dark little sound there??? I don't know if anyone else has pointed it out but if you have you're amazing and I love you.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK???? I'm sitting here trying to figure out what that strange little audio blip is right there because if I'm correct and when Metatron tells Aziraphale 'the Second Coming' followed by the miracle noise I believe to be summoning the elevator???? Then what is that sinister little???? Almost miracle sounding noise there???? My goodness.

That being said, I did check through the audio in other places, trying to listen real close (and if anyone else is good with audio and can actually find it, then please share I wanna know) and I heard no miracle noises during their kiss scene or when Crowley gets in the Bentley and the Nightingale starts playing. (Disclaimer that could just be because of my hearing loss, so if it is there and you can isolate it, I'd love to hear.) I tried, I searched endlessly to try and help you guys with your theories but I found nothing. I will say though, a bell tolls very frequently in the show when something significant happens and there's a bell toll right as our beloved angelic beings pull away from their kiss.

Now that I've pointed out the strange little audio things I personally have noticed, I want to move on to more colloquial audio and less background noises.

I wanna talk more along the lines of this post by @meatballlady (sorry for tagging you I wanted to give you credit where it's due.)

After seeing this post and doing a rewatch of the show, I have been working more at trying not to make assumptions and trying to think of the ways different things can be taken.

Well the Metatron says something that I think maybe we should focus more on the different things if could mean???

This thing is said (i believe during Aziraphale's retelling of what the Metatron said to him) but also right after another one of those moments of misinterpreting the meaning of what someone's being said. This happens after Muriel interprets Crowley's 'Us time' to include them.

The line I'm thinking of here is

"I've been idling back on a number of your...previous exploits, and I've seen that in quite a few of them you've formed a de facto partnership with the Demon Crowley. Now if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular, but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend...Crowley...to full angelic status."

Holy shit there's a lot to unpack in that, both for Aziraphale and us. this whole thing could be interpreted multiple ways, I think, and that's why I've included this whole quote rather than just the specific line. It's a lot said in one go with multiple things that are....worded interesting. For a start.

Exploits -

Several different meanings both in the words form as a verb and a noun, and Metatron puts an emphasis on 'previous exploits.' So how is he using the word? Noun meaning bold and daring? Probably not a software tool. What about a verb? 'derive benefit from' is an interesting way to put it. 'Use a situation or person in an unfair or selfish way.' There's plenty of options here. And to say that he is using one specific meaning of the word would be assuming that you know for sure what he's saying. And when it comes down to it, we don't. After all doesn't this season play a lot with the misinterpreting of what someone is saying?

Let's continue.

de facto partnership - is technically an informal arrangement generally for business, formed by two or more parties.

Which is cool, but that's not the emphasized word here. The word Metatron seems to hang on is 'partnership.'

Partnership -

At this point it feels like an almost sterile way to talk about their very clear relationship together. But strange that he hesitates on the word.

The thing I really wanna talk about is

"...restore your friend...Crowley...to full angelic status."

Restore -

Now everyone, Aziraphale included seemed to interpret this as 'reinstate' your friend Crowley. And again it would be very presumptuous to think that it could ONLY mean giving Crowley a position in Heaven next to Aziraphale.

One of those meanings in there says something along the lines of 'to return it to its original condition.' And we all immediately go 'well that would be an angel of course.' But we forget to take the time to realize that...as an angel, Crowley wasn't a demon. He didn't have all the memories and experiences as such. In fact, it feels hinted at throughout this season that Crowley doesn't have all his memory from his time as an angel. And who's to say that if he was restored to angelic status that wouldn't mean wiping him of his memory of his time on Earth? Who's to say that the Metatron isn't implying here that this is another way to make Aziraphale compliant while also keeping him separated from Crowley.

We all know as a team those two will 'raise Earth' for lack of a better term against Heaven and Hell to prevent Armageddon. They are their own side. And I think Metatron knows he has no chance of the Second Coming if those two are still working together.

Who's to say that Metatron wouldn't put limitations or a status quo on the allowances of Crowley returning to Heaven. He can't ensure that Crowley wouldn't cause problems, he can't ensure his trust.

Sorry if all of this has already been said and pointed out, but I personally haven't seen any of it and needed to get it off my chest before I exploded.

[cheesecakethots]

i can just imagine a very lonely and sad reader scrolling through internet forums and random group chats trying to find some companionship. even at its more superficial level and with that “friendship” barely lasting a few conversations before it’s back to ghosting, yet you’re desperate to cover up this emptiness that you’re willing to take whatever you can have.

then this is where chrollo comes into the picture. can’t really get into the logistics of it, but at some point you’re in some deep dark part of the internet. somewhere you’re not supposed to be in, but you’re feeling daring that day and an extra level of misery. suddenly you stumble upon a listing of an obscure book published a long time ago, somewhere on the black market that’s going for an absurd amount of money. you feel confident enough to comment something like, “a million for this shit? a freshly harvested liver isn’t even worth this. lower the price.” you’re itching for a fight. then in just a few hours, you didn’t expect to debate about books and other eye rolling shit over the internet with some dude who thinks he’s better than you.

he, chrollo but you don’t know him yet, is so pretentious you want to gouge your eyes out. but out of spite you are not backing down. he’s debating you on proust or whatever his name is. you don’t read a whole lot anyway, so you’re pulling out of your ass. he finds you funny, witty, and endearing in your own weirdly charismatic way. and you find him irritating because he never shuts up. it’s this weird dynamic of back and forth banter that has no apparent end. should you be glad that in the years you’ve been searching for a friend, this one has managed to stuck with you this far along? how long has it been since you two have started talking? a few weeks at least, and the argument is still fresh and it’s about philosophy now, which is even more mind-numbing. but this guy knows how to keep a conversation going at least. you feel more annoyed that this asshole is the only person willing to talk to you, instead of any other rando with manners and actual substance to their personality. but you can’t really complain, at least you have one friend.

it’s mostly him who hits you up, not you. and it’s mostly at unusual times. he has a pattern of texting you around midnight to early in the morning, even if you tell him not to disturb you a billion times, so you don’t respond right away. but when you do, he’s sent a myriad of long paragraphs of some shit you can’t really bother to comprehend. you respond with and eye rolling emoji and this headache responds instantaneously. it’s no brainer that sooner or later, he’ll be interested enough to track you down and find every piece of information about you.

anon go write a fic NOW

i love this sm like becoming kinda frenemies with chrollo online, seeing him as this dude who is really annoying but also charming in a way? you’re constantly drawn back to conversations with him because they’re just so enriching, especially compared to the boring chats you’ve had with the very few ‘friends’ you have.

soon enough he starts debating over things you like. huh, he also reads that really obscure manga that has a total of 100 reads? cool! oh wow, he’s played that one game you’ve played so much you can practically quote it word for word? nice!

it gets weirder the more you talk, but you don’t really notice all that much, and if you do you choose to ignore it. he’s one of the first real friends you’ve had in a long time.

you’ll come back from work into your lonely and quite shabby apartment, making sure to place locks on your door. it’s a bad neighbourhood. huh, it’s a bit chilly. you could’ve sworn you shut the window? well… nothing looks to be stolen. weird.

you’ll sit down, and ready up your old and dying laptop, grinning a little despite the tiredness in your bones and bags under your eyes. the friend you speak to online, chrollo, is usually on around this time. it’s always nice to have a chat with him after you get in. you seemingly haven’t managed to rile him up, but you swear you’re getting close.

just got back from work. what you were saying about that passage in chapter 27 is totally wrong, btw. you should maybeeee get ur facts straight before trying to debate with me about it >:)

you miss the sound of a soft chime behind you after you send the message, opening up a streaming service so you can watch an episode of something before bed.

a message pops up on your screen.

how about a debate in person, [name]?

your eyebrows crinkle together. what a weirdo.

as you put on an episode, your monitor goes black for just a moment, but that’s all you need to see the reflection of a figure looming behind you.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hi, there it's so great to find an amazing writer who enjoys Lookism so much! Please keep at it, your HC's are so much fun to read! If it's not too much to ask for the boys like Gun, Samuel, and Vasco with s/o who is a foreign girl, a very capable fighter, and honorable in combat but outside the fight she is quite self-conscious and a bit naive.

Not me reading the first part of this and thinking you're being sarcastic af lol

Thanks for being so kind anon :') I'm glad you're enjoying it, I have SO much fun writing them and putting my stupidity out! Thanks for the ask! I had a little difficulty writing it.... this really isn't very good but hope this hits the spot.

Lookism with non S. Korean S/O

You're from somewhere vague and overseas. Scenario with your partner (Gun, Samuel, Vasco, Jake)

Gun

Your boyfriend was asking you to fight yet again. You're getting pretty tired of it.

You only moved to South Korea not too long ago and ever since he discovered you picked up your skills from overseas, all he makes you do is fight him. And he doesn't go easy on you.

What happened to dates? What happened to romance?

You thought your boyfriend was growing colder towards you, now always in his own head or just studying martial arts.

"...Gun?"

He peers at you over the top of his sunglasses. Your words are hard to say aloud.

"Do you ... do you not want to be with me anymore?"

"What makes you think that?"

"All we do is fight... Literally! I can't remember the last time you even asked me for anything else."

He pulls you into his arms, "You're actually challenging me. Do you know how rare that is? I'm more turned on than ever."

Samuel

You transferred from overseas after helping source partners to help grow Workers into the behemoth it is today.

Back in your field days, there wasn't anything that couldn't be solved with some violence, but your morals and fairness made you stand out amongst would-be enemies.

Even with the 3rd and 4th Affiliate President as your boyfriend, no one could deny your competence or throw around accusation of nepotism.

But you still had to get your head around the working culture in this country.

"Sammy, do I really have to call you Mr. Seo in the office?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that a bit weird? People have seen us together."

"No, I'm your boss. You need to show respect and address me properly here."

"Oh... Do you actually not want anyone to know I'm your girlfriend?"

Samuel pinches the bridge of his nose, can't quite believing he's going to give in on this.

"Fine. You can call me Samuel,"

"What about-"

"Not Sam. Not Sammy. Samuel."

Vasco

You had agreed to meet in the park for a date with Vasco.

The first time you kissed him, he nearly jumped out of his skin claiming that wasn't how dating worked in South Korea. You found out later it was just his eccentricities.

Vasco texted you that he was running late when a group of guys start harassing you.

You threaten to call the police, but when they put their hands on you, you weren't left with many options.

"Y/N?!" Your boyfriend was staring at you in shock.

"No! Euntae, I didn't want you to see me like this!" you hide your bloodied fist from him.

"What! That was amazing!"

"Thank? you?"His compliment made you blush, you knew it wasn't what 'ladies' do but he liked it?

"Y/N! I thought people only had street fights in South Korea! Do they fight overseas too?"

Jake

You think this might be the first time Jake treated you to a meal. A job well done, he had said after you beat up some thugs who were harassing the girls.

Jake's often running off to god knows where to get god knows what done, leaving you to look after the street.

Is this the supposed Girlfriend Privileges? You having to fight in his stead? You reckon you're getting the short end of the stick.

You stare at the violently red pot of stew in front of you, with some unidentified vegetables floating around

"Jake...? What is this?"

"Oh! You've never tried many Korean dishes, right! It's kimchi stew, my favourite. Here." He spoons some into a bowl for you.

With your boyfriend's loving gaze on you, you had no choice but to take a sip.

"ACK!" you spit it out immediately and grab your glass of water to wash the vileness out of your mouth

Jake rolls his eyes at you, "You've got no taste" and takes his own mouthful.

"I know, I'm with you."

[phantomoftheorpheum]

The Umbrella Academy Season 4 Review/Critique

Fair warning- this is ridiculously long. If you expand this post and don't actually want to read it, it will be a pain in the ass to scroll through; I would advise against it.

Just to be 100% clear, these are my opinions and interpretations of the show. If you don't want to see criticism (and quite a lot of it) or read a pretty raw, unfiltered/unedited review of the season, this is not for you. This is a casual platform, so I tend to just let myself think out loud on these posts, meaning that I don't go back and heavily edit my thoughts. I may express ideas for the storylines that would need some refining, I'm generally just spitballing.

This is a very criticism heavy post, I have a lot of issues with this season, so if that will upset you, please just don't bother to read this. I will be tagging anti tags (due to the large amount of criticism I have for the show) for filtering purposes.

*** Spoilers for all 4 seasons of Umbrella Academy ***

Good Stuff First

I always like to start with my favorite stuff from the show, because usually if I am bothering to critique, it means I have a lot of criticisms, but I always want to acknowledge what the show does well before I start getting into what it does not do well.

Individual Characters & Dynamics - In particular, I thought Klaus's unique character voice was present and well written and the performance continued to be top notch (I have some criticisms about the actual storyline, but I think Robert nailed what he was given from an acting standpoint). Many of the specific dialogue and character dynamics felt consistent to earlier seasons, which can be difficult with such a wacky show. There are definitely some characters who were able to shine, regardless of what they were given.

Visuals/Sets - The show still looks as good as it ever has. It's never been groundbreaking cinematography, but you can feel the budget in the aesthetics of the show. It has been able to maintain this weird "almost our world, but not quite" reality in a visual manner since season 1. It has a distinct style and look. The sets largely feel big and textured and expansive, even when they're fairly simple. I like that we've at least glimpsed the house in every season.

Tone/Humor - The Umbrella Academy is weird. It has always been weird. It must be weird or else it would feel... bad weird? It does succeed in continuing to be weird AF. I like that the show isn't afraid to be incredibly strange. It is a show that swings big. The humor is still there. Humor is hard, and I think they hit more often than they miss.

Family Road Trip - The group dynamic, family bickering, montage effect of 4x02, etc. was one of the lighter and more enjoyable choices made in season 4. The bit of "annoying song stuck on a loop" that continued to crop up throughout the season worked for me.

Abigail Completely Failing at Being Gene - This is only a very small part of the season, but Nick Offerman playing an alien cloaked in a (very weird) human skin and very poorly pulling it off added some levity while it lasted.

Soundtrack - While I think there are fewer distinctly standout tracks for this season (but this is entirely a personal opinion, maybe others feel differently), the show's commitment to its distinctive sound and use of music is still solid. I particularly appreciated the callbacks to season 1, obviously I Think We're Alone Now, but also by selecting Dead To The World in 4x06 for Five (I prefer In The Heat Of The Moment as a song, personally, but the choice was very clever). This is a show that I genuinely like to go listen to the soundtrack of after the season, and I intend to do that with this season as well (except for the Christmas stuff, I am not a big Christmas songs person).

The Cast - This is related to point one, but I really think 99% of the cast did they best they could with the material they had to work with.

Despite all my criticisms, I still found myself sad to be at the end of the journey. And I think that says something about the strength of these characters. A perfect journey? No. But one I'm still glad that I took.

My Criticisms

I want to start by saying that if I bother to critique something, that means I believe it has enough potential to be worth discussing. If it didn't, I absolutely would not bother. So while I think this is going to come off quite harshly, it is coming from a place of "I love what this show can be when it's at its best, and here's how I personally think we could have been closer to its best."

A lot of times when I write up my thoughts about a show, I start with my most specific criticisms, and as I examine those, it points me to a bigger underlying issue. Sometimes I work the other way around, thinking about the larger elements I have criticisms of, then searching out examples. But in this case, either way, I find myself ending up at the same place with the same issue, and that issue (perhaps ironically for this particular show) is time.

I believe the largest issue with season 4 is time management, crafting storylines that are interconnected and therefore justify their screen time, and pacing. Yes, I have some criticisms that could not be fixed with better time management, but a lot of my issues lead back to this. Pacing is always a tricky element, is at the top of many criticism lists of many shows, and has been at the top of my list for several shows I reviewed this year. Pacing issues seem to be cropping up more and more with streaming service based shows on all platforms, and I don't think that's coincidental. But, imo, Netflix is our best example.

One of the greatest strengths of Netflix Originals, back when they first started, was the guarantee of a full season before a cancellation. Because they had no feedback on a show before producing and releasing an entire season, there were no early mid-season cancellations. This allowed writers a little more room to stretch out, knowing they wouldn't walk into work the next day and be told they have 2 or 3 episodes to wrap up a story, or worse, wake up to just no job at all. So while the seasons were shorter, the time was guaranteed. Many of Netflix's early properties, particularly if their first season was successful, were greenlit for multiple seasons at a time, a practice which has been all but abandoned (Bridgerton and Stranger Things have been afforded this luxury in recent years, but few other shows). But as Netflix (and other streaming services) got its legs under itself, it came to realize that there was more profit in producing the first season of many shows, then cancelling all but the most successful. This epidemic of unfinished stories has been spreading rapidly. Now, not only does Netflix have an extremely high cancellation rate and rarely renews a show for more than a season at a time, it has also been shortening seasons, bringing down production costs, and trying to minimize risk and maximize "safe" profits. Minimizing risk in favor of maximizing safe profits rarely results in good art. Which explains a lot.

And so, unfortunately, I think The Umbrella Academy is a casualty of this increasingly mercenary system. Not only was it forced to make creative decisions with the constant threat of "This could be the end, but you won't know it until after it airs, so it also has to work as not the end," during the first three seasons, but though it got warning of its final season, it received a limited run to complete the show. Now, I can't fault anyone for wanting to write each season as a possible ending, considering how often Netflix cancels shows. Is this smart? Yes. Is this also limiting? Yes. And shows like The Umbrella Academy, with universes that become increasingly complicated with increasingly detailed lore, suffer quite a lot when trying to contain a story to each individual season. And finale seasons are particularly difficult. Expectations are high. Netflix's production model gives audiences years to build up their anticipation for the finale. Too much time to think, to pick holes in what has already been created, to cool to something they were once passionate about. Delivering a genuinely satisfying finale under these circumstances would be a daunting task.

But with all that being said. Season 4 only has 6 episodes, and it somehow manages to waste so much time. I don't know what's in the water over at Netflix, because I don't know if anyone knows how to waste limited time like Netflix does. If it weren't so irritating, it would almost be impressive.

The truth is, very few of the main characters really matter to the overarching plot of the season, which is a very weird choice, particularly in a final season. It's basically Ben, Jennifer (who we barely know and just met), Hargreeves, Abigail, and tangentially Viktor. Five & Lila are basically completely taken out of play for an episode and a half, where their actions have practically no relevance to the main plot, and the critical information Five gets while using his "new" power could easily have happened without this storyline. Luther & Diego are similarly sidelined by the CIA storyline. And, again, Klaus & Allison are occupied with a side plot that removes them from the main conflict of the season and does not tie in to the finale.

I do not mind the centering of Ben & Jennifer for a season of the show in theory, but with only 6 episodes to tell this story, I think it was a stretch to believe they had the time to do this plotline justice and waste so much time elsewhere. I don't know if this was solely a me issue, but I just... didn't care about Jennifer. I mean, sure, I rooted for her in a passive "she seems nice" kind of way, but even by the end we barely know anything about her. I can live with a "cosmic connection" insta-love situation between Ben & Jennifer (not my favorite trope, but it can be okay), but just because Ben instantly connects with Jennifer, that doesn't mean the audience does. And, to make matters worse, this version of Ben is one that we don't know that well, anyway. Like... his defining character trait is that he's mean and angry. I didn't mind that in season 3, as he was new to us and at odds with our protagonists for most of the season, but we don't really learn much new about him in season 4, either. The bit of Ben's history that we get is from Umbrella Ben, not Sparrow Ben. And Sparrow Ben's personality and history isn't touched on. Why is he like this? It's never explored, not beyond the shallow "the Sparrow Academy wasn't raised as the family that the Umbrella Academy was" that was established in season 3. The fact that we know so little about this version of Ben makes it harder for me to connect with him, as well. So to center these two characters in the final season, and then not even give us scenes to flesh them out as individuals, it just feels like such a waste of time. It didn't need to be Ben and Jennifer. In fact, it very much felt like it was only Ben and Jennifer because everyone has always wanted them to tie "the Jennifer incident" into everything. Again, I think this plot could work fine if given the correct amount of screen time, but as it is, it feels rushed and shallow. We might care about Sparrow Ben (might), but we don't have much reason to care about Jennifer.

Lack of direction - There are only six episodes in this season! Every minute needs to be used wisely. This should be the most focused of all the seasons, every storyline streamlined to tie into the finale of the show. Which is the opposite of what we got. For the vast majority of the show, nothing Klaus or Allison does matters. Nothing Diego or Luther does matters. Nothing Five or Lila does matters. Sure, those storylines touch on individual character development, but when you're planning to kill everyone off in a couple hours anyway, why are we starting down unconnected character arcs that are destined to be left hanging? Every bit of interpersonal character development should be written in a way that ties into the finale plot of the show, so scenes can pull double duty and maximize the limited time available. What was the purpose of Lila and Diego fighting (other than to physically separate them)? What did they learn? How did they change or grow? They didn't. They are split apart, sent down different dead end roads, only to be gathered back up in time to die. They speak words of understanding, but we don't actually get to see them learn or put those changes into practice.

I think about it this way- if Lila and Five had gotten lost into the weird limbo subway system and we never saw what happened to them, and instead they just reappeared from that adventure for the finale, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. If Klaus had stormed off in 4x03 and Allison had gone after him and we’d never seen either of them again until the finale, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. If Diego and Luther had gotten their CIA passes and walked into that building and vanished from the story until the final episode of the show, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. Even Viktor, who is directly addressing the main plot point of Ben & Jennifer’s connection becoming apocalyptic, has very little impact on that storyline leading up to the finale. He speaks to Ben once, he insists on trying to save Ben, and spends the rest of the time working through personal issues with his dad or being attacked in a sequence that has no consequences. The conflicts that these characters encounter have very little bearing on the physical events of the show (they get shot at, they escape. They fight, they escape. They are chased, they escape) and what are the specific consequences? There aren’t any. Viktor gets to use his powers to save Hargreeves and gets shot (I think??) doing it, but he’s fine, and it doesn’t change their approach or goals in any way. Five and Lila are trapped together for years and have a romantic relationship, but then they “go home” and it doesn’t lead to any of the characters deeply changing or acting notably differently in the following events (Five and Diego fight at a bad time, we get a funny reaction from the other siblings, etc. but it doesn't change anything) and then it is never truly resolved. Luther and Diego go to the CIA and this plot is used as a vehicle to reveal the villainy of Five’s boss (so??), but ultimately Luther and Diego get a big fight sequence, learn very little, and take up a lot of screen time for a reveal that could easily have happened in seconds. None of their actions in this storyline blatantly effects the outcome of the show. And Diego feels set up for some character work, but all it really leads to is him being like "I get it," and that change never getting a chance to be actionable. Allison and Klaus reconcile, but only after a lot of screen time is spent on another side quest. Do they really change as people from this story? We don't know because there's not enough time to see. This is clearly not a legit substitution for actually addressing the issues between them, but we don’t have time to do that, either. Not to mention, the conflict between Klaus and Allison isn’t some slow burn issue. It’s doesn’t exist before this season. What is the point of any of these plot lines? Why send Allison and Klaus off together to resolve issues that we only just found out exist, when Allison has canonically been estranged from all of her other siblings since the events of season 3? That is blatantly an unresolved issue, but instead of using her screen time to address her season 3 actions, they create a whole new issue for her and Klaus to fight and then reconcile about. Wouldn’t it be much more interesting to see Allison and Viktor work through their issues once and for all? Or to address all of the ways Allison betrayed Luther in season 3? What about Klaus reconnecting with this version of Ben? What about Luther working through being betrayed by his father? What about Diego and Lila actually being parents? What about really getting to see how this life that Allison sold them all out for isn't even the dream she thought it would be? What if, instead of getting a montage of Lila & Five’s romance, we got a montage of Jennifer and Ben finding and destroying each other in many different worlds? You want to sell me on this tragic, cosmic connection between them? Okay. Sell me on it. Make it hurt. 

Five - I'm just going to be brutally honest here- I believe Five is the strongest driving force of the show and his sidelining in season 4 was a huge mistake. Five might not be the emotional core of The Umbrella Academy, but he is absolutely central and critical to what has worked well in previous seasons. And yet, in season 4, he's pushed to the side and basically written out of the main plot for half of 4x04 and all of 4x05. And then, even when he is around, he's lost a lot of the elements that make him a fan favorite. Let's talk about that- in season 1, Five's return and his mission is where it all kicks off. Yes, technically the inciting incident is Hargreeves' death, but gathering the family without Five's arrival would have been useless and led nowhere. Five drives the entire plot of season 1, while the rest of the siblings get character arcs around him. He makes things happen. He withholds information from his siblings and from the audience. Without him moving the plot forward and tying things together, season 1 would have been a disjointed mess. In season 2, we follow Five's attempts to reunite the family and fix yet another doomsday. Again, he is the one that pushes the plot forward, while the other siblings wander down various other storylines (which is not to say that they are not involved and don't contribute, just that they don't move the plot along to the same degree). In season 3, Five attempts to "retire," but pretty quickly he's back in the thick of things in search of answers and solutions. He is set against Hargreeves in an intellectual face off and is ultimately the one who pieces together the hotel's puzzle. He also discovers that he is, essentially, his own nemesis and behind a lot of what happened in previous seasons (a storyline that feels like it had a lot more to give, possibly, but is abandoned and explained away as "something a version of him did in some timelines,"). But in season 4, Five is... Well, he's suddenly not that relevant. He starts out fine, undercover and attempting to infiltrate The Keepers, and he does push the initial plot forward with his investigation, but then he just drops off the map (literally and figuratively). Five, who has always been the character to seek out answers and the character the audience trails through the bigger plot points of the story, is suddenly out of play. Now we're watching him wander around the multiverse (presumably for an attempt at character development, which ultimately falls flat) where he learns nothing important and falls unconvincingly in love with his brother's wife for an episode and half. Why? Because... they didn't know what to do with him? Honestly, I can't explain why. Five's acerbic wit, his tendency to be one step ahead of the audience, his cockiness, the uncanny personality that is a quirk of being an old man trapped in a young man's body, his absolutely brutal and ruthless methods to protect his family, and his cool fight scenes, it all just vanishes. Suddenly, for the first time, he feels the age of the actor. He feels erased long before he literally is. After 3 seasons of him having one of the coolest powers that leads to some of the coolest scenes, we're suddenly in a world where everyone else has some useful version of their power, while Five's kind of sucks. And like his teleporting power only reappearing at the very end (spurred on to save Lila specifically, rather than his family, because ???), Five's personality is frequently missing. Which leads me to-

Five and Lila - This may be a controversial opinion, but in concept this could have worked. Am I mad at the idea that two characters who are stuck together for years with no one else as company might fall in love, even if they're an odd pairing? No. Like I said, it's okay in concept. But only in concept. In reality, there was neither the time, nor the necessary casting to make this storyline hit properly. Regardless of Five's character's age, or the fact that his actor is (technically) an adult now, this felt flat out wrong to watch. Not only does Five still very much look like a teenager (inevitable, as while Aidan has aged over the course of filming the show, the age of young Five would now, still, vastly outstrip his real age of 20), but we also know that Lila was introduced to him as a child. Lila and Five meet in season 2, in which he is (physically) still a 13 year old boy, while Lila is an adult woman (considering she has the same birthday as the rest of the Umbrella Academy, this would put her at approximately 30 years old at this time). Yes, the exact ages of these characters is a bit messy to track, but no amount of text on the screen telling me so many years have passed is going to allow me to forget this detail, which makes this whole situation, at best, deeply uncomfortable. The fifteen year age gap between the actors is incredibly evident, and this romance is ultimately completely unnecessary for them to evolve in the (frankly minimal) ways that they do. They also pretty brutally sacrificed Diego's character for this. All of Diego's negative traits are cranked up to 100 this season, while Lila's are generally turned down to a low simmer (until she nearly dooms everyone to a meaningless death). While I don't think their relationship being on the rocks, or either of their character's struggle to fit into domestic life, is a bad idea, I again find myself questioning what the point of this storyline was for this particular season. We don't get much of a conclusion. Diego is basically a buffoon all season, Lila is less blatantly fucked up most of the time and also somehow less likable for it, and Five feels out of place in this storyline. Why did we do this? As far as I can tell, it's because they didn't have any other ideas to keep these characters busy while the actual plot happens around them. That's really not a good reason to blow up a dysfunctional but well liked dynamic (Diego and Lila) and never even bother to mop up the blood. And that leads me to-

Lila - Just, in general, I found myself asking "who in the writer's room is ridiculously obsessed with Lila, because that is the only explanation for any of this." For example, Klaus names everybody's problems and can't think of any real issues for Lila?? LILA? Her erratic, risk taking behavior and serious mommy/family issues are the most intensely Lila thing about her?? This is what her entire character is built upon? Why are we acting like she's not been a complete wildcard for the last two seasons?? Her new power doesn't make any kind of sense. Everyone else basically got some version of their old power back (and we eventually learn that Lila does have that power back as well, despite wildly underusing it), but now she has laser eyes.... Because? Her inability to properly control the laser eyes is funny, but also doesn't make any sense. In previous seasons we see Lila quickly adapt to using new powers only moments after acquiring them. If there is any one single person in this whole show who should have adapted to a new power immediately, it would be Lila. And somehow, for some reason, they center Lila during the finale conflict. Everything rests on her decision to stay or go. On her connection to her family (despite us barely seeing her in a room with them all season), instead of literally any of the main Umbrellas we've been following all along. And she gets the last line of dialogue from our main characters. We spend an extended sequence watching The Umbrella Academy slowly sacrifice themselves and Lila gets the last word?? And all of this is coming from someone who actually really loved Lila in seasons 2 and 3. She was one of my favorite characters coming into this season, but this... It just felt blatantly disrespectful to all the other main characters.

Everyone Dying is a Bummer - Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm not set against tragic endings in general, but... I don't think The Umbrella Academy earned this ending (at least not in this way). This idea of the world being better off without them, like they are a mistake that fundamentally ruins the world and must choose to sacrifice themselves in the name of saving humanity, that would (could) be fine. Except that it doesn't feel thematically well supported by the previous seasons, or even just season 4. At its heart, seasons 1-3 followed the ups and downs of Five's journey to save his siblings from the apocalypse, even though they are the ones to cause it. This is his entire goal. He wavers, he actively tries to walk away from this, but he cannot help himself, he always comes back around to this goal. This is what we buy into in season 1. So the idea that this is impossible and that they all must die anyway, feels antithetical to why we are asked to care in the first place. We haven't been asked to care about the world (not in any tangible sense). We watch random, innocent people, or vaguely antagonistic people, get killed in horrible ways left and right in the show and we are not asked to care. We're often asked to laugh. We care about them saving the world because we care about them saving the family, this dysfunctional group of oddballs. Sure, on a very basic and fundamental level we don't want humanity to be wiped out, but the humanity of the surrounding world is never deeply touched upon in the show. And their death wipes out infinite universes. We're told this is "right," but we don't tie any real emotional stakes to it.

Season 4, which centers around saving (or failing to save) Ben and Jennifer, around Viktor's desire to find another way because he loves his brother (even this version of him) and his siblings have always fought so hard to find another way because they love Viktor, asks us to care for these same reasons. Not for the world, but because we care about these particular characters. And the writers decide to sideline Five, whose centering I believe is absolutely essential to pulling off a "they must all die at the end" storyline to begin with. Why? Because he's the one who has fought so hard to save them. To have him not be at the center of the storyline where saving them is not possible makes absolutely no sense. Do I think that a final season where we follow Five coming to the conclusion that they are all doomed could possibly work? Yeah, if they had (and here it is again) the time to dig into that story and show us how he grapples with and fights that resolution tooth and nail until he cannot anymore (they point at it with the diner scene, but don't have the time to let us feel the weight of it). But they don't do that. We don't get to follow him throughout a season trying to cope with this impossible truth. Instead, he accepts that fate in a matter of onscreen minutes and with immediate resignation. (Yes, you could argue this is what he has been doing the last 3 seasons, but we're never truly given the impression that he is trying to prevent an absolute inevitability, only that he is trying to prevent a specific reality). It undermines the foundation of his character, and because Five is the driving force of the first three seasons, it undermines the foundation of those storylines as well. With the limited amount of time they were given to wrap up this show, instead of ending with a "everyone must sacrifice themselves" storyline, I would have, instead, centered Five's personal journey in season 4, which concludes with him realizing there can be one universe in which his family can all live, but only if he dies. They live, but he must sacrifice himself and be erased from existence so they will never mourn him, never know him, never know to be grateful. What could be more fitting for the show, more simultaneously sad and happy, than Five achieving what he set out to do in 1x01 and saving his family and that costing him everything?

Now... how to work that in and fill in some major plot holes at the same time? Well, I have some ideas, but I'm gonna save them for a different post, because while writing this review, I found myself re-outlining season 4 and trying to fix some of nonsensical elements of this season and if I get into that, it needs its own post. But I think it could be done. And speaking of nonsensical events.... Why do the Umbrellas have to die now? Like, logistically speaking, if The Cleanse is a necessary event and every single other world except the "perfect" timeline ends in apocalypse, then why can't they jump on that subway to a different universe where they have more time to be really, truly sure that's the only answer? At the very least they would have had a chance to really say goodbye to each other. We know there are plenty of universes where Ben & Jennifer both exist, there's no reason it has to be now. Since there are infinite "wrong" universes, they have all the time in the world. This is not a decision that has to be made exclusively in this moment, despite being portrayed that way. They don't die, The Cleanse doesn't work, they fact check their solution in a different universe, they get a chance to say their goodbyes, etc. etc. The urgency makes no sense. For that matter, why doesn't Five blip them all down to the subway where the show has already established in this season that time does not pass, so they can have a real conversation about this? There is literally no reason not to do this. They, quite literally, have a character who can take them to a timeless limbo where they can take as much time as they want/need to sort this out. They, quite literally, have that character take an entire family to this place, proving that he is capable of bringing a group of people there, and they don't use it.

It Doesn't Get Better - One of the major themes of Umbrella Academy is dysfunctional family and the way we cope (or don't) with childhood trauma. How burying that pain is destructive and hurts the people around us. And while I don't think the show's intent was to send the ultimate message of, "Actually, it doesn't get better, you'll never heal those wounds, and your existence is a destructive mistake," that's... kind of what it implies anyway. Throughout the whole show we explore the ways these characters are trying to work through the abusive household they grew up in, to move past the things that happened to them, and we watch them process and come together as a family and stand up against their abuser and grow into better versions of themselves and lose their way and pick each other back up. And then we're told that it doesn't matter because they all have to die. It sends a strange message. Personally, I think the show may not ever have intended to really send a message at all. It's absurd and irreverent and tragic and silly. It has never shied away from violence. It's always had a bit of a flippant nihilism hanging about it. And I think there is an argument for "People don't always get what they deserve. Sometimes they just get the short end of the stick and it sucks, but that's just how it is," being an underlying theme worth exploring. It's just... they don't really explore it, they just kind of dump it on us at the end. And because we don't have time to come to terms with this messaging (time, it's all about time), I think a lot of people feel like there's this bait & switch happening. For the last 3 seasons, we've been watching a show that is constantly addressing this childhood trauma and a toxic family dynamic, but then the end of that show is like "and all of these kids are a casualty of their abuser's arrogance and there was literally, not from the moment they were born, anything they ever could have done to grow away from that." It's pretty fucking bleak, to say the least.

Plot Holes For Days - There are more plot holes in this show than a block of Swiss Cheese. There are so many, that I'm still mentally trying to sort out an ending that feels... somewhat in the spirit of what season 4 was intending, and doesn't leave us up to our eyeballs in nonsensical plot points. For example- in The Umbrella's original universe, they already changed things so that they don't exist anymore long before the apocalypse. One of the major plot points of season 3 is that Harlan accidentally killed The Umbrellas' mothers before they were even born (obviously this is a paradox, as Harlan could never do that without meeting Viktor). But Hargreeves was still able to adopt Marigold enhanced children! Marigold kids were still born! We're told in 1x01 that 43 women spontaneously gave birth without having been pregnant, but we're supposed to believe that The Umbrellas, right here and now, have definitely got all of the Marigold in this universe? (And that doesn't even get into the questions surrounding the Marigold's presence in this world, since The Umbrellas did not bring it with them, we see no sign of other super powered versions of them existing in this universe, but if it didn't already exist here in some capacity and no children were born with these powers, then there's nothing inherently wrong with this universe, meaning the apocalypse wouldn't need to happen, and on and on and on. Like if all the Marigold was just in that jar and that counts as being in this world, then they could have just chucked that thing at Jennifer and bam, problem solved.) We know that in the original timeline Hargreeves didn't adopt all the Marigold children, because that's the entire point of Lila's backstory. And what about the other 35 women who spontaneously gave birth and those kids? So how could The Umbrellas possibly know if they are destroying all the Marigold by sacrificing themselves in this world? They can't know that. The existence of The Sparrows (and in another universe The Phoenix Academy) also implies that there could be many universes where The Umbrella kids don't all even exist, but other children were born with their powers, so specifically The Umbrella kids all dying isn't something that would need to be set in stone, since none of the other Marigold kids had to die for The Cleanse to work in this universe. Now, a lot of shows have plot holes or paradoxes or questions left at the end, and a lot of shows I would cut some slack. I'm even willing to ignore a lot of the smaller plot holes in this show, but this is the culmination of the entire series, the explanation for what must happen and why, and the justification for all our main characters being wiped out, and it just doesn't hold up under more than a moment's scrutiny. And that, imo, is a pretty big problem.

Gene & Jean/Villains - So, on a slightly lighter note, another thing that I don't have a problem with in concept is Gene & Jean. They're weird and quirky, as all Umbrella Academy villains seem to be, and I love both actors. It's just that season 4 has a serious problem with its villains in general. That is, there are too many of them and their plans are too convoluted. The ultimate villains being in some way connected back to Hargreeves (and specifically Abigail, who up until this point has had very little to justify her existence in the show) makes sense to me. But the absolutely convoluted mess that is The Keepers cult led by Gene & Jean being at odds with Hargreeves' men who are hiding Jennifer, being at odds with Abigail masquerading as Sy Grossman and then as Gene (I still don't understand why she needed to kill Gene or Jean, like Gene & Jean were already trying to bring about The Cleanse, why is she infiltrating them??), instead of using her resources/position as Hargreeves' wife, is ridiculously messy. The person I watched this season with actually asked me after 4x04 if I had any idea what was happening because they were completely lost. Generally, I am pretty patient about how a show shares information. I always assume that I am picking up what they're putting down, and if I don't understand something, I will when I'm supposed to. That... didn't always feel like the case to me this season. I don't think it was so much that it was hard to follow, but that it just didn't make a lot of sense. The "why" for so many character actions, but particularly the villains, just never fully materializes. Abigail and Hargreeves' sides are fighting in this season, with him attempting to prevent the apocalypse and her trying to bring it about... But what is the justification for the completely convoluted nonsensical path it takes to get there? She seems to have plenty of power over Hargreeves when the kids visit. Why does she need to infiltrate The Keepers? Why do The Keepers need to exist at all? It's just a coincidence that they have the same goals as Abigail? If she actually started them, then I assume she would have installed herself into the organization and not needed Gene to infiltrate it. I don't understand her choices. There were many, many simpler ways to get where they ended up.

So... it's not as if The Umbrella Academy is the first show to do this ending. In fact, one of my favorite shows of all time does this ending (not mentioning it by name because that would be a massive spoiler, obviously). I think this ending is completely possible to pull off. But I also am neither convinced from an in-universe logical point, nor from a storyteller's point, that it earned this ending. Did I want it to be a happily ever after? No. I don't think that would fit tonally with the show. But I wanted it to feel necessary, truly inevitable, and both physically and thematically, I don't buy that it was.

My advice to anyone who was starting this show for the first time would have to be, "don't think too hard about it," because ultimately, if you do it will crumble. Just enjoy the vibes and the bickering and the comedy and strangeness. There's no point in asking too many questions. And for some people, that's totally okay. That's enough. I'm just (shockingly) not one of those people.

So, if you're still with me, I'd love to hear what you guys think. Did you feel emotionally fulfilled? Were there particular plot points you loved or hated? What was your favorite musical choice of season 4? Should I release my redesigned season 4 outline? What ending would you have chosen? I'm open to all opinions! I don't agree with all opinions, but I will very much consider them.

[yumekojabaml]

My little meat— Cannibal James McAvoy x Male reader

author's note: I need him fr 🥺🥺. ITS LONG AF

Tw: Weird behavior

You're taking a hike with your friends along a popular trail. Nothing out of the ordinary. As you're walking, you stop to tie your shoes.. your friends don't realize, and they keep walking.

Before you know it, you look up and they are very far ahead of you, up the small mountain. Before you can catch up though, you feel a hand on your shoulder..!

You turn to see a large man. He's got a friendly smile on his face. and has an axe in his hand, along with a rifle slung over his shoulder. You flinched. The man chuckles at your reaction

"No need to be startled, love. I'm just a hunter." The man says in a deep Scottish accent. His Scottish words sounded almost like a song. "Oh, sorry." You apologized.

He smiled more seeing your apologetic expression. He patted your shoulder with one of his large hands. "No harm done, dear. In fact. I'd say I'm rather happy to see a beautiful man such as yourself, on my mountain."

He had said the last part with a hint of flirtation, but you couldn't be entirely sure his intention. You chuckled. "Thank you, I came here with my friends but....they're gone now."

The man nodded his head. "Yes, I saw them go. But, I noticed you were very far behind them, love." He said, taking a step closer to you. His hand still on your shoulder. It was warm, but strong from working frequently.

"Oh, so you were behind us?" He nodded. "Yes, I was tracking a buck in these woods, and then I saw your group."

He spoke calmly, his eyes glancing up and down your body. It would look to the untrained eye as if he was simply sizing you up... but to anyone who knew better, they would know it was far more than that.

"I hope we didn't scare the Buck?" *he chuckled and shook his head, his hand gripping your shoulder a bit tighter*

"No no- no need to worry about that. You and your friends were far enough away to not scare it. So, dearie, why were you left behind from your friends?"

"I went to tie my shoes they didn't know and kept going" He hummed and looked down at your shoes, then back up at you.

"I see... hm, they don't seem very observant, love. Abandoning you the moment you fall behind..." His eyes darkened for a moment, and gripped your shoulder a bit tighter.

"Yeah, stuff like that happens a lot." He looked at you, his gaze now more intense, the grip on your shoulder now tighter than before.

"So it's normal for your friends to just leave you behind... and not notice you're not with them.? It doesn't seem like a very good friend group, love"

You nervously chuckled. "I know but here I am still with them." He huffed and pulled you a bit closer. This time the distance very obvious, as his body was almost pressed against yours.

"You should probably get new friends. If they're going to leave you behind so easily... hm, why'd they even bring you along?"

"There's a party here I don't know why but there is so they brought me here." He grunted, a look of annoyance going across his face.

"A party, huh? Here? They're gonna trash my mountain, aren't they..?" You asked him. "Your house is close?"

He grumbled out, seemingly annoyed by the idea of a party happening so near to his secluded home.

He nodded, his hand leaving your shoulder and going to your chin. He tilted your head up a bit so you were looking him in the eyes. His deep blue eyes locking with your own.

"Yes.. my home is very close by, love... I have a hunting cabin built not too far from here. It's secluded, so outsiders never come around"

You felt bad for him since there was going to be a lot of music." Oh, well I apologize if you hear loud music I can't stop them minus the sheriffs that I think are here?"

His eye twitched at the mention of loud music, and his hand left your chin. He was still holding you close to him though.

"They're gonna play music too...?! Christ... I hate those tourists coming into my woods... they never leave my mountain clean. It's so infuriating... the damn sheriff's are gonna be here too...?! Ugh..."

You gulped. "I'm sorry I can help clean up?" "Hm, well... I suppose having a helper around wouldn't hurt. As long as you stay far away from my cabin, love"

As he said the last bit, the grip he had on you got tighter— as if he almost didn't want to let you leave his side." Okay, I have to go now.. oh wait I didn't get your name?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"And here I was expecting you to introduce yourself first, love... what ever happened to manners? My names Ezekiel. You can call me Zeke" You smiled.

"Nice to meet you my name is M/n." He smiled, that intense look from before softening a bit as you gave your name.

He was now looking at you again, his eyes roaming your body and face, seemingly inspecting you.

"Ahh... and what a pretty name you have too"

"Thank you, I have to go now." He grunted and released his grip on you.

"Already..? I was hoping you would spend some more time with me, love... I'm a bit lonely out here."

He said, his eyes now having an almost disappointed look to them. You thought about for a second. It wouldn't hurt, would it? "Uh, sure I guess I could."

He raised a brow as you spoke, but his expression shifted into one of surprise, and then a small smirk.

"Can you, now...? Hmm, I'd love to spend more time with a pretty thing like yourself.." You beamed. "I can get to know you better."

He beamed back, this one much more sinister and darker than before. "Then come with me, love. Follow me back to my cabin, we can get to know each other better there".

"Ok."

He grinned and began walking down the mountain's trail. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure you were still following.

"It shouldn't take long to get there, love. Just follow close behind"

He hummed and continued walking along the trail. His eyes darting around the woods, as if he was looking for something. Every once and awhile he would look over his shoulder again, checking to see if you were still with him.

After a few more minutes, the two of you soon find yourselves in a secluded clearing. And near the end of the clearing. A cabin, built of logs and wood, and looks to be pretty old. Ezekiel began walking towards it, and turned to you again.

"My cabin, love. Come on, let's go inside" You went Inside looking around at his home.

He held the front door open for you, waiting for you to step inside. The inside of the cabin was actually quite nice, being well kept, and pretty clean. The door shut behind you as you stepped into the living room, Ezekiel coming up behind you. The only light being a small fire from the fireplace.

"Your home is beautiful." He hummed and took a step closer to you. He was now standing directly behind you, and placed his hands on your hips.

"You think so, love? I try to keep it nice and tidy."

Surprised that a cannibal like him can keep it tidy

He chuckled and began moving forward, his hands on your hips, gently pushing you forward. The two of you soon found yourselves next to the fireplace, the heat from it radiating around the small room.

"Come, love.. sit next to the fire. Try not to get too close though, I don't want you burning your pretty skin"

It was uncomfortable with his hands on your hips. He let go of your hips as you sat down near the fire. He then sat down next to you. He seemed much closer than necessary, his legs practically pressed against yours.

"Now... how about we get to know each other abit, love?" He drank some of his water. "Ok, yeah."

*he nodded, and crossed one leg over the other. His eyes gazing at you intently*

"You go first, love. I wanna learn a bit about you... like where are you from?"

"Well, I'm 16 from LA. I was always at the top of the art class; I even won a medal from a sculpture I made." He was surprised hearing your age, but he hid it very well. Instead, his expression only turned to interest*

"An artist, huh? Hm, I'm not too surprised you're so pretty... artistic types are often pretty in my experience."

He smiled, and his eyes roaming your body again. His gaze staying on specific parts of you for a few extra seconds. He leaned against the couch, crossing his arm over the backrest, while resting his own head on his hand.

"Ah, an artist... such a talented thing you are, love. What type of sculpting did you do?"

"It was about a cannibal." He froze, and he seemed to be rather surprised with your answer. His eyes narrowed and he leaned closer to you.

"A cannibalism-focused sculpture?.. that's quite a.. specific thing to create art off of love."

"Yeah, It was a man who held a kidney and bit into it looked so much better with color!"

He was surprised even further, and his eyes widened a bit. He began to rub his chin, his mind swirling as he thought about your words. Clearly very surprised with your choice of art.

"I have to say, love.. that's incredibly interesting. Who was it the sculpture was based off of if I may ask?"

"It was about some cannibal in some woods is all." He huffed and chuckled, clearly intrigued by your words.

"A cannibal who lives in the woods, love... Hm, what gave you that inspiration, exactly?" The tension was getting scary with the way he was acting now. "I-I found it in a news article." You stuttered.

He hummed and leaned closer to you. Now mere inches away from you. He raised an eyebrow as he heard your words, and a smirk appeared on his face.

"Ah, a news article about some cannibal in the woods... such an odd thing to get inspiration from, love."

"Yeah, it said "Beware Of The Cannibal Of The Woods."You wanted to go you wanted to go back to your friends where you felt safe. He giggled again, and placed a hand on your thigh. His grip not very tight, but it still was there, pinning you down.

"I see... sounds like some cheap tabloid. It would scare some weak-minded people, love."

"Yup." Just one word only one word. Began rubbing your thigh, his large hand slowly moving, rubbing circles on it. "So.. you saw this and decided to make sculpture based off it, love?"

"Y-yeah." Your voice quivers. *he hummed in response, his hand continuing to rub your thigh, slowly traveling up a bit higher. "Hm... I wonder, love. How accurate to the article do you think your sculpture was?"

You were confused what was he talking about? "What do you mean." You spoke looking at his hands gripping your thighs.

He smiled and followed your gaze, noticing you were looking at his hand still rubbing at your thigh.

"Your sculpture... the one of the supposed cannibal of the woods. How accurate was your sculpture to the article you read, love. You did say he was holding a kidney"

He began rubbing further up your thigh, slowly moving closer to the top. "It was....a blurred picture."

He smirked, and his hand began rubbing even higher up your thigh. So close to being under your pants, but he didn't go any further yet. His hand kept rubbing circles on your thigh, as he leaned in close to your ear, and spoke in a low tone.

"And what did this supposed cannibal look like in the article, love?.. I have a right to know" A tear streamed from your face when you finally realized.

"Y-y-you." He smirked widely he moved closer whispering in your ear saying. "You caught me sweetheart."

A/n: THIS SHIT WAS TO LONG IM MAKING A PART 2

[kamiko1234]

Alrighty, I just got to the point of Chapter 13 after they talked to Luke and BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. So , can we talk about how straight up unserious Percy is ? Like you NOTICE that this is a kid. Buddy is out on a mission to basically save the world, going around telling Medusa he and his friends are orphans having been left behind by a circus and sightseeing XD Say what you want but that kid is funny af. Love that for him. The whole Medusa thing was CREPPY tho, like- Grover fr just found what basically is his dead uncle's corpse ???????? That's honestly fucked up. (The Uncle Ferdinand jokes were funny as hell tho) I do hold firm onto the believethat the gods are sort of dicks tho. Like, honestly ? I'm surprised there wasn't a half blood revolution yet ! Those poor children are treated HORRIBLY by their parents ! Not to mention that they also gotta deal with all sorts of monsters just because they are the kids of that one specific god. Ngl if I was a demigod I'd be ready to straight up overthrow the gods. Or atleast sue them for all the child neglect they did. Like, damn there seems to be little to no resentment against the gods on the side of the kids besides Percy. How'd that happen ? Does Camp Halfblood just have really good therapists to deal with all that trauma and to keep the kids from going , idk, crazy ? Or do they just flood them with propaganda ???? Idk, just seems a bit weird to me how everyone seems to like the gods when so far most couldn't care less so far OR are doing the bare minimum. The only thing more surprising to me than the fact that no one hates the gods, is how surprisingly well I can get on with the first-person POV ? Like, I JUST realized that. It's just THAT good. Normally I don't rly like first-person , but honestly this is the biggest expection so far ! Percy's POV is just hilarious. Kinda nervous about his dreams tho, idk what to make of them.......... But also, OMFG GROVER WAS THE GUY WHO BROUGHT ANNABETH. Damn does every character have trauma here ? Poor lad. On the topic of Grover tho, that whole backstory with Pan gives me BIG tingels for my traitor theories. When he went on his little rant about humanity and how they ruined nature, he very clearly called Percy human. He sees Percy as part of a group he seemingly dislikes to atleast some degree.

Grover also has a sort of legacy he thinks he needs to fullfill ? With many (if not all) members of his family having been seekers. Like, what if Pan IS actually dead ? Or atleast in the underworld, and that is why no seeker has ever returned ? Maybe Hades manages to get Grover to betray Percy by offering him Pan ? It is Grover's dream while also being very important to his entier species. It looks like a good motivation for me. Otherwise I rly like the backstory for Grover we have so far. The author did a great job in fleshing him out tbh. He really went from a droky comic-relieve sort of guy to something..... honestly depressing. I really wonder what happened to Pan. But I do think he's most likely dead or somewhere in the underworld, with Hades being the big bad it would think. ANNABETH GOT A HINT TOO THO, during the Luke talk he did mention that you'd have to be invisible to get the Master Bolt. And the Athena Cabin already picked the side against Poseidon when the camp started to splitt. The motivation for her would still stay the same ofcourse, her godly parent. Personally I do still favor Annabeth as traitor, but it could simply be that I just had the theory about her for longer. Honestly both have solid bases for it and I'd be interesting either way. I'm about halfway done now, so I doubt a thrid character will be introduced now to be the traitor. If a new character IS introduced tho, they'd props be the prime suspect for me. But also, thank you Luke for being one of the MOST reliable character in the story so far. Anytime you show off smth good happens for me (either entertainment or more hints for my theory). BUT ALSO HIM CALLING ANNABETH HIS LITTLE SISTER ? ALKQOPÜREINA THAT'S SO CUTE LIKE ????? ugh ngl now I sort of hope it ISN'T Annabeth bc her betraying them would BREAK Luke's heart T-T. Just let them be happy, please. That's all I ask. Let my fav big bro be happy. Please.

[ravenbloodshot]

hey, hongseok from pentagon got into a scandal for gifting his girlfriend the items that fans bought for him and acted like it came out of his pocket: http://netizenbuzz.blogspot.com/2015/07/pann-ex-ikon-trainee-yang-hong-suks.html?utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=twitterfeed&m=1

and last year he asked fans not to spread his weverse dm's because he mentioned that as an idol he didn't make money: https://www.koreaboo.com/news/pentagon-hongseoks-group-not-paid-netizens-defend-criticism/

The first article is surprising (It's dated in 2015 so we can give him SOME grace. It's still weird though). I'm most surprised by how open he was about the fact that he had a girlfriend and how the fans didn't give af either (Universes seem like a pretty chill Fandom. Especially since this all came out when he was a rookie/trainee, and they still allowed him to debut and stay in the group. Even when Dawn and Hyuna went public with their relationship, theirs fans were really chill about it). Respect 🫡

2nd article. I'm not surprised if the group wasn't being paid their worth. You guys should know that even the top idols (Even mentioned in the article like Xiumin, Baekhyun and Chen from Exo) aren't being paid fairly.

I've seen readings done on BTS saying the members aren't being paid fairly as well, and that will later come out to sue their label. They're paid, but not as much as they should be. (I remember Jimin BTS had a foreclosure issue that was quickly covered up by his company). Groups like Stayc and Loona didn't start getting paid until recently/later due to the large debt they owe to their company. Which is the norm.

What can i really say? This is all part of the game of the music industry . Like Hongseok said, "They're paid in experience," aka fame. But what's the point of fame when you have no money???

Couldn't be me. 💅

[yakuti-witch]

So I've been thinking about Melody and her abilities a bit, and I have thoughts (fun fact, she's one of my favourite characters)

First of all Melody herself. I've now seen multiple posts that talk about how weird it is that her dad is even allowed to teach because he literally killed a bunch of kids, and how weird it is that no one is concerned about her abilities, etc.

The part with her dad teaching isn't too weird for me- this school is messed up af and he seems like a chill dude anyways.

For Melody I like to think that people were actually quite wary of her music, in the same way they were of Ginger's baking at first. And then maybe her DJing became quite popular through e.g. Briar towards the end of their first year, and people finally got the jist that she wasn't out to randomly hypnotise them.

Speaking of hypnotising, I feel like her abilities of 'melodic manipulation' (which sounds so funny to me for no reason, it's so neutral, like 'no, no, it's just manipulation, don't worry!') could almost be treated like sorcery/spellcasting of sorts?

Like, she has her chanelling device, which would be a wand for a fairy but whatever instrument for her. Also I'd say it's something you might have a natural capability to do, but you still have to practice, like other magic. And the pied piper clearly has the capability to selectively manipulate specific... groups(?) of living things, because first he manipulates the rats, but then also only the children, which could require completely different melodies, which could be considered spells.

Anyways, I'm thinking Melody in Magicology (etc.) classes would be cool.

And finally, (still tying in with her abilities) if people with the gift/talent/natural ability/whatever of melodic manipulation have a natural tendency to affect a specific creature- meaning those animals would naturally be easier for them to hypnotise, but also they'd just kind of enjoy the person's music (let's say that was rats for the og Pied Piper, or idk, parrots for a random one in the past), what would this animal be for Melody?

I'm so sorry for the long info/ideadump, but I'm curious what eah tumblr thinks.

[iamumbra195]

Tomura's Psyche

So while Chapter 419 was absolutely devastating, I find a lot of what AfO said in this chapter kind of enlightening. Most of his monologues tend to go over my head but this one was really interesting to me because he used the terms 'superego' and 'id'.

(I'm really obsessed with psychology rn but I've still only taken one course and read a bunch of articles so forgive me if I get anything wrong)

According to Sigmund Freud, a personality is composed of three elements known as the id, ego, and superego.

The id is essentially your basic desires, needs, and impulses and is not affected by reality, logic, or the everyday world, as it operates within the unconscious part of the mind. It operates on a pleasure principle in which every impulse must be satisfied immediately and when the impulse is denied, a person experiences displeasure. Think of it like the devil whispering in your ear for you to do whatever you want. The id is split into two base instincts known as the Eros (life instinct) and Thanatos (death instinct). Eros helps the individual survive, directing life-sustaining activities such as respiration, eating, and sex (Freud was obsessed with sex, don't look at me he was weird af). Thanatos is essentially the destructive forces everyone has access to and when directed outwards, it is often expressed as aggression and violence. Freud believed that Eros was stronger than Thanatos, thus enabling people to survive rather than self-destruct.

However, when we look at this panel

I don't think AfO fully suppressed his id because that would make no sense since Tomura's whole thing was his hatred and desire to destroy everything stemming from 'that house'. Rather, AfO suppressed his life instinct or Eros, making it so that he was driven by his death instinct and would self-destruct and react with violence and aggression to things that he didn't like.

This is essentially what Tomura was like at the beginning when he was still being 'mentored' by AfO. He was impulsive and rash, destroying whatever he wanted without any thought for the consequences. He was also incredibly self-destructive, scratching at his skin until it bled and not taking care of his body the way he should.

But he changed, didn't he? After AfO was locked in Tartarus, he changed and matured as a person.

Which brings us to the second part of someone's personality, known as the ego. The ego develops during infancy to mediate between the unrealistic id and the real external world by finding reasonable ways to achieve the id's demands. It is the decision-making component of personality. Ideally, the ego works by reason, whereas the id is chaotic and unreasonable. Freud describes the ego as "part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world.”

This pretty much perfectly summarizes what happens to Tomura when AfO is detained and he's forced to mature and act as a true leader to their ragtag group of broke villains. He's willing to do things differently, to delay the satisfaction of doing what he wants in exchange for a more favourable outcome (which is known as delayed gratification in psychology). Like when he was working with Overhaul, he didn't particularly want to work with him and most definitely wanted to kill him but that wouldn't benefit the league in any way so he went about it in a smarter way, using the heroes' invasion to get what he wanted, which was to hurt Overhaul, and what benefited the league, which was the quirk destroying drug.

And now finally, the third element of someone's personality, is known as the superego. The superego develops during the ages of 3 to 5, incorporating the values and morals of society, which are commonly learned from one’s parents. It motivates us to behave in socially acceptable manners and is essentially there to control the id's impulses that society forbids such as violence.

In this panel

AfO calls Tenko Tomura's superego but until recently, Tenko's been caged in Tomura's head. The beliefs he'd picked up from his parents were still in his unconscious, still embedded in his actions and decisions with him being none the wiser.

Especially when you compare these two scenes.

Despite losing his hatred and grief, he's still fighting because he knows the league, his chosen family, was relying on him.

A family that looks out for one another because the heroes failed them all.

So in conclusion, AfO has been manipulating Tomura's life and personality to fit his needs and because of this, Tomura has been unstable as fuck since he was a kid and desperately needs help that I doubt he's going to be able to get before he dies.

[ca-suffit]

neilcfreak hasn't been seen in the fandom in a *long* time, so kind of fucking weird and obvious that nalyra gets a bait ask (which she knows is a bait ask) saying it *must* be bullying that caused it and listing every way neil was a good person. where tf has neilcfreak been much in the last year? besides a few months ago when she was trying to cover up for white fandom. nobody cares about u girl, nobody is rly sending these asks about u except ur own friends (or u lol).

anyway who wants neilcfreak's racist receipts :)

last year, ao3 was getting called out for never following up with their promises made in the wake of BLM 2020 to better protect users against racist harassment. neil and a black user commented on the same post, the black user replying to neil's comment u can see above of "if u don't like it make ur own site lol."

this white user (futureevilscientist) then random af pulled the asks out and tagged the black user at the start of the post to talk all this shit AT them fsr?

then later, neil shows up herself.

this is the part u cannot *cannot* say is not racist. neil is directly replying to a reblog of *someone else's main post* and placing full blame for a "call out post" on the *black* user.

she then pulls out her white jewish shit to speak over the main topic, which is racism / antiblackness.

playing oppression olympics can be done by any marginalized group but it usually works the best for white ppl because white ppl get the most sympathy when doing this (u want the most shining example, how often are we talking about white gay oppression in this fandom above racism / antiblackness, which is the *actual theme* of the show...or even gay oppression through a black pov, since u see louis experience that constantly. how much are we told that this show is rly about white gays and nothing else?). ppl assume whiteness is more innocent by default so will pile more on a black user for "being aggressive" towards a *white* jewish user without needing any proof. that's what neil was counting on here. she also then had a bizarre, loud breakdown on her account for extra assurance she'd be seen as "the real victim" (for making a stupidly racist comment in public). ohh yeah weaponize those white tears girl. she then "quit" tumblr for a while and when she came back, as mentioned in the linked post above, she had to again mention "drama" for good measure. "remember how I was bullied off this site u guys :("

white fandom was all over her dramatic distraction posts btw (nalyra commented on them too, so she is v aware this happened). v few people reached out to the black user or cared about the shit they were dealing with.

these white fandom ppl *never* have any receipts of bullying either, they just *say* it happens and flock to give hugs so it looks like lots of support is happening for a real "issue." but it's not real. everything they do is meant to manipulate u. this nalyra ask is still doing that.

when ur told what to think about someone or u can't find evidence of things happening beyond what anyone, even a group of ppl, *tells u* is happening then u need to rly remain suspicious of the reality of it.

these are asks that the black user got after this stuff happened. so now we've created a new issue from nothing and we're not talking about racism or how ur bullying a black user over literally nothing anymore. now it's suddenly all about poor neilcfreak and her white jewish identity and victimhood from a big, bad black fan. she's gotta make this all make her look like the real victim to cover up how embarrassed and stupid she felt for being called out on saying racist shit.

this is why white ppl need to understand these abusive techniques and get on ppl's ass when they pull this, not just leave it up to black and brown ppl to do. white fandom will cry all the white tears possible and claim ur talking over a white jewish person, being antisemitic. it's an attempt to emotionally manipulate u, keep talking (think of how often claims of antisemitism are used to shut down anyone being pro palestine, it's the same shit). this is racism. this is weaponizing an identity to cause harm to a black person cuz u were caught saying racist shit and want to deflect. if neilcfreak wasn't a huge racist she'd have *also* called this out and told ppl to stop doing this on her behalf. that would require her pulling her head out of her ass first tho and not sending these anons herself prbly.

I was looking for a different receipt to end on but found this instead, so let's talk about this too since we're here

here's neil after this shit went down, trying to make anne rice all kinds of marginalized identities so ppl can excuse her abusive shit too. she never said she was queer and she never identified as trans. u can't just label ppl shit because stuff they said sounds "close enough." she did enough harm as a cishet white woman can u all fuck off already with wanting to find more excuses for never wanting anyone to criticize this piece of shit.

good riddance, wretched bitch.

[riacte]

Re: reddit. Warning, lot of yapping about stats. Yh i agree the reddit does shit even in the best players and their "golden boys" (what they did to purpled last season was weird af, and they adore purpled as one of the more competitive players), although i would argue that is part of their goddamn goat debates. With "players who are praised with just existing" I was more talking about players who are seen as incredible while other ccs of similar and better stats are regarded as far worse.

For example, Owen and Krinios have better average placements than Joel, but the reddit tends to forget about both of them while Joel is often predicted top 10 (and for the record, i love Joel, one of my fav povs and ccs in general, but his reddit fanboys irk me). Kratzy and Hannah are so underrated it s almost funny atp. Martyn is inconsistent so it s difficult to explain his case, but i felt it was weird how people s reaction to his top 4 in party was "well it is non canon", while Joel is still praised for his top 1 in scuffed (where the games were, well, scuffed) and his average is only 2 spots better. Grian is also regularly overrated, and weirdly enough I have seen that Gem is as well? People assume that she is far better than Pearl and False, while in reality they are all kinda similar statistically. Pete s case is so funny, bc he s not underrated individually but people always assume his teams will do badly. The second Jojo steps down of top 6 or 7 people stop considering her s tier, while sapnap or dirt block never had that issue, and people still bring up mcc 23, when she was 18th or so, to argue she s not that good?

So yeah, as you said, the reddit shits on everyone, but there are some big biases and 2 different types of shitting: disappointment in s tiers for not doing their absolute best (which puts lots of pressure on them and is toxic af), and certain players being systematically underrated (which obv pisses them off). Sorry for the rant, I like to analyse the mcc reddit as a social experiment. I think i could write a whole ass book

Ohhhhh yeah definitely. Your last paragraph is very true. Massive shitfest. There's also again, the popularity aspect and well-intentioned overrating which could lead to underrating of other people (I was frustrated at Reddit during S2 and the whole "Grian is good at BM so every hermit must be" thing but then I stopped caring lol). And their inability to acknowledge they might be subconsciously biased against women. No one is immune to accidental / subconscious sexism. Not me, not you.

Watching everyone scramble to include Joel in the hermits' stats was originally heartwarming but then it started to feel unintentionally dismissive of the 2020 hermit cohort? Like yeah, builders in general were underrated, and Joel + 2020 hermits share that similarity. But he did Orange10, not Blue9. He was part of Pink9, but it was Grian who did the iconic move. Joel (and Pearl) can be included but it somehow feels diminishing of what the others accomplished with the hermit identity. And I mention the hermit identity specifically because they teamed together as friends and hermits, and inter-team solidarity was displayed because they were hermits (Pink9 and Blue9). Not just "haha yeah xyz hermit achieved this on their own". They were moving forward as a group under the hermit banner. False, Ren, Cub, Grian.

I feel like False is in a weird spot on the Reddit because they clearly like her, more so than HC Reddit, False Supremacy memes, calling her queen, etc. But she's not really.... discussed at length? False may be quiet, but I've watched her and I know she's good at comms and has an excellent battle sense. She notices things and reacts quickly. But that depends on how well she meshes with a team, considering People Don't Listen To Her in SkB. Which leads to fluctuating morale and inconsistency and stuff. So I get why Reddit calls her both underrated and overrated? But I am a poor judge of skills but the fact that they mention her and congratulate her is already enough to make me happy lol. The bar is ten feet underground, I'm sorry but I'm a wee bit easy to appease post Demise 2 😭

[ieatpastriesforfun]

r/daggerheart is toxic AF...and I love it

Note: This is just a rant about the subbreddit and their inability process any critique of the game that goes against their narrative of the game. The game itself has a lot of good parts, which I really like. But this post isn't about the game, but the subbreddit.

So you know, I am a nerd that like to nerd about games and probabilities. I've been interested in Daggerheart for a while because I am a fan of Critical Role, and the beta playtest rules recently came out. I was super excited, so I read through the PDF as soon as I got the chance, also started a game with my partner.

And honestly, there are some great parts to the game. But there are also some design decisions that made me scratch my head. So I shared some of my thoughts on r/daggerheart.

Oh boy did I poke a beehive. That subbreddit is pretty hostile toward anyone who dares to criticize the game. My first post critiquing the complexity of the damage system got down voted to oblivion. They told me I shouldn't have opinion on the very things I can read because I haven't played the game. So when I played the game and posted my feedback, these folks dismissed my criticisms because I was suffering from "new system syndrome."

Oh, and the comments. They were something else. The sub is dominated by a group of people who are pushing the narrative that Daggerheart is "rules-light" and "very easy" and "less math than DND."

Yes, Daggerheart is a rules-light game with a 377 page rulesbook. Because this is still beta, it is missing a ton of rules, not to mention artwork. But sure, it's a rules-light game. Because what is page count if not just a number?

Yes, Daggerheart is "very easy" if you ignore the fact that every character has HP, minor damage threshold, major damage threshold, severe damage threshold, stress, hope, and armor on top of your abilities and backstory and everything else you are trying to juggle.

Yes, Daggerheart has less math than DND because instead of just subtracting the damage from the HP, you compare the damage to each of the thresholds to decide whether or not you want to reduce the damage by armor, then determine how much you lower the HP by, unless it is below the minor threshold, in which case you take stress, but if you are filled up on stress, you take 1 HP. Oh, and you know, if you also ignore the fact that you roll two dice, add the numbers, and check to see which one is bigger to decide which one is bigger every single time you want to do something.

So yeah, if you ignore all of those very obvious things that I can see with my very own eyes, my own experience of running the game, my experience having played a rules-light RPG like Candela, they are right: Daggerheart is a rules-light game that is very easy to play with less math than DND /s.

Seriously, these folks will fight you tooth-and-nail to tell you that what you can see is wrong. They will gaslight you, tell you about how 11-years can play Daggerheart, their 73 year old mother can play Daggerheart, tell you that you are playing the game wrong, DND has taught you bad habits, and that your critique doesn't matter because all you want is the game to be more like DND.

And I love it. I love seeing the cognitive dissonance. I love going at it with these die-hard fans. And it's pretty easy on my part. I don't need to get mean—all I need to do is point out very obvious things. And you know, no foul no harm—we keep going until one or both of us get sick of arguing about whatever specific thing we are arguing about.

Anyway, enough of my rant.

I want Daggerheart to succeed. I really do. I think Matt Mercer and friends are pretty good folks, and I find their story inspiring, and I would love to see them succeed. I hope that Daggerheart developers listen to the critical feedbacks, make the game better, and not try to push any weird narratives (like they did with Candela vs FitD).