#the homoerotic tension i swear

[biscuitboba]

More about this special!! (part 2 cuz i cant help myself)

Like they are so insane for this?? (the atmosphere, and again.. the tension, and also the way luffy enjoying his fight with zoro so so frickinn muchh, im just-)

They are everything to me!!

[gearbroth]

[concept-dump] Space-au - (main(?) Antagonist) Skal, enemy of sun and mentor to iron

[serenxdipitys]

I never see this duo interact w each other besides fighting and I think that’s a damn shame 😔💔

ALSO HOW DID I GIVE THEM SO MUCH HOMOEROTIC ENERGY

WHY ARE YOU GAY

[kickis-conan-king]

Okay I know we are all in love with the Platonic Ideal of Emo Boy Keith. But please consider- Punk Keith.

[just-a-little-kreature]

uh so yeah I’m writing another soukoku fic and i made art for it so if anyone’s looking for a bungou stray dogs college AU……. yeah ok bye

[caliblorn]

Your Mannimarco/Vanus art is delicious I'm so obsessed with these gay elves like the homoerotic tension between them is unmatched

Ok but let's be honest, the homoerotic tension is like.. 30% of their relationship, the rest of it is them being chaotic together on Artaeum. I just know it.

(he swears he has a credible explanation for this)

[coeluvr]

Mc looking at the strange homoerotic tension between Luceris and Lancelot: ...

Mc looks at Helios, holding both of his hands: I promise you Helios, if it depends on me, your father will never be able to be with anyone other than your mother

Helios: ...

Mc, squeezing his hands tighter, eyes shining darkly: I swear to you, he will never be with anyone else, even if I have to kill him to do it

Helios, in a cold sweat:

(Sorry, luceris is not allowed to be happy with anyone else after he massacred their entire family for this woman)

Helios: I'm okay with them being together MC 😊😥😅 MC: Don't worry, Helios... Your mother was the only one ever for him haha...

And don't treat my beautiful goddess Farah as "this woman" she deserves more respect! 😒 All she did was die... sobs... 💔

[invertedmoth]

gonna be so honest i prefer the pairings that aren’t canon but everyone ships them over actual canon couples. like there is something so fun about posts connecting the most random dots, and “fix it” fanfiction, and the outlandish theories about how it really is canon guys i swear

i LOVE queer rep in shows, don’t get me wrong, and they are just as fun to ship, but that good ol homoerotic tension just ain’t what it used to be

[olderthannetfic]

ONTF, you're older than I am, you're highly media literate, maybe you'll know: what was the appeal of the Joss Whedon style of writing to begin with? Everyone whateverishly wording their phrasey bits in that very Whedon-y way never did anything for me, positive or negative, and the constant need to have comedy during serious moments or interrupt a serious moment with either snark or a remark that nods towards tropes diffuses the tension to the point where I can't get invested. None of his characters ever felt capable of having sincere moments like most characters in other things I watch, and the few moments of that they did have would get undermined by one of the aforementioned flaws.

I do think the "omg worst writer EVER!" crowd is a bit much, because I've seen things so bad that Whedon looks like Shakespeare by comparison. But my half-sister, who is 25 years older than me and thus in her late 40's, swears Joss' style is revolutionary and deep. And frankly I've been wrong about a lot of media I used to hate and I'm open to the idea I'm missing something. It's super likely given my limited media exposure, though I am admittedly trying to work on that and branch out into more genres of media and more formats so I don't become that 'guy who has only seen Boss Baby thinks every movie has Boss Baby vibes' meme.

So. What am I missing? What's the context I'm missing and the key here that will allow me to appreciate the appeal of and enduring fandom for Whedon's work? I am admittedly a fandom baby but I am willing to learn.

--

I mean... I despised him from the get go, other than the Buffy movie, which I still quote that death scene from regularly, so I'm probably not the best person to describe what's appealing about his style.

But one-liners during action are a common taste even if I'm fonder of the sorts of homoerotic 80s trash Ruthless Reviews used to cover.

Ironic distance is also popular and easier to swallow than earnestness for a lot of people.

However, I do think Buffy's original audience was connecting with it emotionally. Look at the part where Buffy's all upset after the most clownishly 1980s take on loss of virginity and heavyhanded metaphors for guys being jerks that just made every writer involved seem excessively middle-aged and out of touch Giles asks if she has any idea what could have happened to Angel. For people who weren't going to high school in 90s California, that bilge was apparently very moving. Certainly, there are parts of Buffy where the quips die down for some actual emotional moments.

People like style. Something that commits to being aggressively stylized will often stand out from the bland clones that surround it. Look at Wes Anderson (another creator I don't particularly like). Whedon's godawful faux-witty dialogue did sound different from other things on TV at the time. He also lets women say some of the one-liners, which is sorely missing from most media.

But mostly, he was formative for a lot of people, and I had to live through many, many years of them earnestly entreating me to give his shitty writing another chance because this time I would somehow connect with this sex-negative parasite and his casting aesthetic that I didn't find hot or interesting.

(I like dumb and campy things. I just like them to star a bunch of body builders from New Zealand, not waifs.)

People always hold up the things they imprinted on as more revolutionary and deep than they seem in retrospect. In Whedon's case, his already obnoxious style suffers from having been copied so much since, but even if he weren't famous or popular, if you were talking to that one person whose adolescence was defined by their love of him, they'd say all this same nonsense your sister does.

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Quarterfinals, Match 1

propaganda under the cut!

Makoharu:

They are the first ship that comes to mind when I think of friends to lovers. I know Free! hasn't been popular since 2013, bug I just love them so much... Makoto's devotion to Haru. There's even a movie that flashes back to when they're kids when Makoto says "I love swimming and I love Haruka". Soft...

Fuyupoly:

Submission 1:

they're from the winter troupe of the mankai company, and unlike the other troupes they're all adults. that said, they all have varying degrees of trauma and emotional stuntedness. it takes them some time to fully open up to each other bc they're all very cautious of each other's boundaries and don't want to cross any lines which initially led to some issues in the group's formation. over time they've learned to bridge the gap while still being mindful of hard boundaries. at one point they have a discussion about what exactly their relationship is (gay) cuz they were talking about how the other troupes have clearly defined dynamics (spring=family, summer=besties, autumn=rivals & teammates) but they don't,, and homare deadass says they're "people bound by a common destiny" which in and of itself sounds very Gay (like why are you as a man bound to other men by a common destiny), but it goes even further because homare starts spouting WEDDING VOWS: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" THIS IS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM THE GAME AND THE MC EVEN REMARKS "i can already hear wedding bells in the distance..." 

gradually they become closer, in individual sub-units based on who's paired up as co-leads for a play, and as a troupe overall. also two of its members are childhood friends who had a messy 'divorce' in their young adulthood and it took the game breaking its genre to introduce a timeloop for them to finally make up if that means anything to you. one of their troupe songs "precious to us ~bokura no kisetsu" has some pretty beautiful and fruity lines: "The many kindnesses born in me here / Never fail to breathe life into my chest / Even all the pain and bitterness / Have now become dear to me (Ah…Stay with me)", "No matter how many times our season passes / Let us keep living together / Holding our hands, without ever letting go / Let us open up the curtain of tomorrow", "There is no need for words, because once our gazes meet / Joy sparks a light in your eyes", "Our journey, may it be a brilliant one / As our breaths overlap as one"

a lot of their plays has a LOT of homoerotic tension between the two leads too. their first play has tsumugi and tasuku play angels, and it's heavily implied that tasuku's character has an unrequited crush on tsumugi's character. their third play has azuma play a vampire and tasuku play Just Some Guy and it's generally agreed in the fandom to be one of the gayest, if not THE gayest, play A3 has ever written. obviously the vampire thing is very fruity, but there's also how the vampire was longing to bite the human but was holding himself back, and when the vampire left the human in the end, the human was absolutely HEARTBROKEN over it and was swearing they would reunite one day. the stage play of this takes it even further by having the vampire embrace the human from behind and BITE his neck. the fourth play is a watered-down adaptation of Phantom of the Opera where they genderbend Christine into Chris among other things and change the relationship between Chris and the Phantom to one of friendship.... ostensibly so, because there's still a lot of homoerotic undertones in their interactions. i could go on but this should be enough of a sampling taste 

Submission 2:

the writers rlly said "let's take 2 normal guys who are childhood friends and have been into theatre since their school days and have them go through a pre-canon messy divorce, an eccentric poet with a potentially controversial haircut, an amnesiac sleepyhead who can only be awoken with marshmallows but is also somehow extremely athletic despite doing nothing but sleeping and eating marshmallows all day, a man who is so beautiful and mysterious he breaks gender, and a supposed android from a fictional south asian country, and throw them into a blender, oh and for good measure let's throw in some theatre and angst and gay and angst and gay" and the end result was marriage. i mean it took them a lot of awkward fumbling around and conflicts to get there but they got there and thats what matters. ok *technically* in-text they're all rlly good friends and kinda found family BUT they are found family via marriage papers i do not make the rules chief

Submission 3:

The reason why they are so friends-to-lovers to me is because their relationship is founded on quiet and unconditional acceptance of each other—regardless of how flawed they may be or how heavy their burdens and trauma may be. When the troupe first formed (sans Guy who was in another country at the time), they didn’t have any major clashing personalities at the very beginning and generally they were mindful of each other’s boundaries, unlike the other troupes that came before them. However, it’s BECAUSE they were too mindful of said boundaries that it was difficult for them to break down their walls and bond as a team—and there were a LOT of walls to break down, as all of them had varying degrees of emotional baggage and trauma.

In fact, it’s only three plays in that they finally truly start opening up to each other, with Azuma getting the ball rolling by opening up about the deep loneliness that haunted him ever since his childhood. It’s during this conversation that they also discuss what their relationship as a troupe is, because the other troupes have defined their relationship as a team (Spring is family, Summer is best friends, Autumn is rivals & teammates), and Homare goes on to declare that they’re “people bound by a common destiny” and goes on to spew wedding vows: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" I mean… it can’t get any more obvious than this, really. They are married.

But anyway, Tsumugi says he wants their relationship to be one where while they respect each other’s need for space, they’ll also be there for each other and share their pains and burdens—or in his words: “supporting each other when our burdens become too heavy to bear on our own”—which I think is really sweet because it carries this idea of quiet, unconditional acceptance; they don’t push each other to share more than they’re comfortable with sharing, but with whatever they ARE comfortable with sharing everyone carries the load and pain because pain is easier to bear when you’re not bearing it alone <3 

A later part of the story focuses on Hisoka, a mysterious amnesiac, being terrified of regaining his memories and facing some “sin” from his past that has led to another character, Chikage, trying to take revenge on him. When he confesses this to the rest of the Winter troupe, Homare asks, “How heavy is this sin you bear?” and Azuma suggests, “Perhaps it’s just heavy enough for the five of us to carry together.” (at this point Guy hasn’t joined yet). The stage play adapts this scene into a song called Key to Memory. The key (pun unintended) part is 1:27 where there’s a back-and-forth between Hisoka and the other Winter troupe members (sans Tasuku because he wasn’t in that particular play)

Hisoka: “I’m scared…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s okay.”

Hisoka: “My unforgivable sin…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “Let’s carry it together.”

Hisoka: “I might not be me anymore.”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s all right. We understand and we accept you, so let’s go together.”

And it ends with Hisoka singing: “I was afraid to open the door of my locked memories. But if everyone is here, I believe I can do it.”  In both the game and stage play, Hisoka fully regains his memories and reconciles with Chikage (long story). He tells Fuyupoly he can’t go into detail about his past with Chikage because it’s dangerous but he’ll tell them when the time is right, and they accept this saying that no matter what his past is, they know and love him as their Hisoka which obviously is a very sweet thing for friends to say, but it’s also very Marriage-coded to me.

Later, Guy is introduced as an android from Zahra (a fictional South Asian country) and joins the Winter troupe as a temporary member—because he’s stuck in Japan for the foreseeable future—until they find a permanent member to replace him. The other Winter members have a conversation among themselves and agree that regardless of whether he’s really an android or a human they’ll accept Guy for who he is and help him improve his acting, which again harkens back to the idea of ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eventually it’s revealed that Guy is in fact a human who has forgotten his memories of the past and his emotions. He recovers his memories all at once which shocks his system and causes him to pass out. When he wakes up in his room, he finds the rest of the Winter Troupe asleep around the room—which I believe is symbolic of their whole theme of “quiet acceptance”: they don’t want to push Guy to share beyond what he’s comfortable with, but they’re always there to listen to him and share his load if that’s what he wants. He opens up about the memories he recovered, and they don’t treat him with pity like he’s a lost child, but still extend gentle empathy and understanding. They also emphasise that it genuinely doesn’t matter to them whether he’s human or android because he’s Guy first and foremost. It’s at this point that Guy truly lets himself become part of the Winter troupe/Fuyupoly and not just as a temporary stand-in member, because he’s found a place where he’s found himself again and people who will accept who this “himself” is, whether that be an android devoid of emotions or a human brimming with vivid beautiful emotions.

[Mod note: There’s a LOT more but we’re afraid of crashing the post. I (Deli) summarised it the best I can since I’m familiar with A3, but if you want to read the full thing you can check it out on this google doc)

[orange-lover]

would you be comfortable telling something about your ocs???? (<- he is dying from curiosity)

YES SURE!!! they are so stupid.... theres 5 main guys

cy, he/they - blue haired biologist robot loser with crippling ptsd who lost his eye in a childhood attack

angelo, he/him - band dweeb who plays drums on the side of his botany & floristry work with terrible anxiety he works on over the series (he and cy are married)

allei, she/it - literally a catgirl. like actually. shes buff as hell and i forgot her job but more importantly she kills people for fun. she has maaaajor comphet for cy and harvests eyes for him awww so sweet. shes my favorite she figures out shes a lesbian in one timeline but the others are so tragic

detective sugarcoat & lemonhat - ok these guys are silly. everybody else is all sad and tragic but these guys are funny i swear(lie). theyre two detective partners who are a little bit homoerotic. sugarcoat is hyperglycemic and always keeps sugary snacks in his coat to keep his bloods up (hence the name), and hes obsessed with solving the allei case. hes a chronic smoker and his wife misses him and hes a very stereotypical detrctive type. lemonhat his partner loves fruit and is much more laid back. he keeps SC from going insane and calls him "sugar" . he has a strong boston accent. they have crazy sexual tension

i have other ocs.. but theyre from different stories

[beauty-and-passion]

Sanremo 2024: the songs made me do it

aka: Don’t tell me this will become a new format

There is a sad truth I have to share with you all: I don’t watch Sanremo. I know it’s unhinged and funny and every year there is a new debate about something stupid and a lot of homoerotic tension everywhere. But I don’t have the strength to stay awake until 3am, waiting for all songs and listening to covers and watching 200 interludes until morning. I am getting old, I can’t stay awake that long anymore XD

But my father and my brother both watch Sanremo and, since this year has been particularly appreciated and followed by a ton of people, they decided I had to listen to some of the songs.

So I listened to some of them, especially the top 5. And wow, they are better than I thought. It’s been quite some time since I followed some Italian music and it looks like a lot of things improved in the meantime.

Hence why I decided to give a try to all the 30 songs of this year’s competition. It was worth it: there are definitely some interesting ones. And a few artists made me re-evaluate my opinion about “veteran” singers too.

But while I was listening to all of this, I was also thinking: man, it’s a shame the rest of the world will never know about them. Some are forgettable, fine, but some are good. They deserve a chance to be heard and appreciated.

And this is when a dangerous idea popped into my mind: what if, instead of listening to all of these songs by myself, I share my opinion about them in a post? It would be a bit like my yearly “first impression post” about the Eurovision songs, only applied to Sanremo’s songs.

And hey, maybe this will become a new format. A sort of anticipation of every year’s Eurovision. After all, Sanremo came before Eurovision, so it would make sense, in a way, to talk about Sanremo first.

But that’s up to you. If you think it would be fun, if you’re interested in listening to more Italian songs, or even if you just want to read more of me rambling about stuff, let me know and I will gladly provide it.

______________________________

The overall impression

It’s quite positive. Sure, it could be because I’m Italian and I’m biased, but I swear I’m doing my best to be as objective as possible.

Also, an overall positive impression doesn’t mean all songs are bangers. They are just generally “good”. You can listen to them once or twice, but they’re not a new, groundbreaking experience: they are just okay. And you will read these words again regarding a lot of the songs on this list.

Speaking of the songs themselves, HERE you can find the full playlist.

Please notice that the order of the songs is the same as the final chart. So, since I do not want to spoil you the winner immediately, I will go in reverse order, starting from the last song up to the first. Don’t worry, there is some interesting stuff in the middle, we won’t get bored ;)

As always, this is my opinion, yadda yadda. If you disagree, good for you. We’re just talking about songs after all.

______________________________

Fred De Palma - IL CIELO NON CI VUOLE

I have no idea who this guy is and the song is acceptable: nothing too groundbreaking, nothing too bad. It’s just a typical dance song.

However, I would still keep an eye on him, because there’s this long tradition of singers who got last place, but ended up having incredibly long careers and becoming way more famous than the winners.

So who knows? Maybe Fred De Palma will be the next on the list.

Vote: maybe he will improve and become famous

__________

sangiovanni - finiscimi

Another very normal, very typical dance song. I listened to it twice, but I don’t remember a single thing. Next.

Vote: forgettable

__________

bnkr44 - GOVERNO PUNK

That’s a nice song. Again: nothing too special, but at least I remember the chorus.

Also, there are a lot of other songs that got a higher rank and bored me way faster than this one.

Vote: +1 for the chorus

__________

LA SAD - AUTODISTRUTTIVO

And suddenly, I’m a teen again. The rhythm, the lyrics, the punk, they all speak of the 2000s.

My inner teenager is singing along and loves all of this.

Vote: these guys have been inspired by Blink-182. Now I understand why they remind me so much of my adolescence.

__________

Maninni - SPETTACOLARE

Another typical love song. And it came before La Sad.

Now I’m the sad one.

Vote: even more forgettable

__________

Renga Nek - Pazzo di te

Small premise: Renga and Nek have both been around for a very long time and, as far as I know, they never made a collab together.

But while I’ve never been particularly interested in Renga’s music, Nek has a special place in my heart. Why? Because he’s my favorite Italian singer. I listened to his songs when I was a child first, then during my adolescence. After almost 20 years, I still love them and I still remember the lyrics. So I was waiting for another great song to add to my playlist.

But this song is nothing. It’s not interesting, it’s not new, it’s not a bop. It’s just a generic song about love.

What a huge disappointment, coming from two artists like them. They’ve been around for a lot of time, they should know it’s time to change. But nope, it’s as if they’re still stuck in the past, thinking that playing a song identical to what they made before will surely be appreciated.

But it’s not. The music scene changed, I changed. And this stuff is old.

Considering that we will see older artists with much more interesting songs, these two really have no excuse for this. It is just plain laziness.

Vote: listen to Le cose da difendere, instead. Or Contromano. Or L’inquietudine. They’re much better than this.

__________

CLARA - DIAMANTI GREZZI

This girl won Sanremo Giovani (the edition for younger singers) and I can understand why: she has a lot of voice and she’s a nice singer. The lyric isn’t the most original thing ever, but I like it and I think a lot of younger people can relate to it. It’s very nice and it doesn’t deserve such a low rank.

Vote: “kissing with the tongue/ is so scary”? Uuuh… I suppose young people relate to that? :/

__________

Rose Villain - CLICK BOOM!

This song is just… meh. Despite having two different rhythms, I don’t feel engaged by either of them.

Vote: and the lyrics aren’t great either

__________

BigMama - La rabbia non ti basta

1) The style, the eyes, the nails. This gal is a queen, she slays hard and I approve.

2) The song is about violence, dreams, protecting your inner child, yourself or even your past self from a past of abuse. It’s powerful and I approve.

3) The rhythm might not be the most groundbreaking thing ever, but it goes well with the song and I approve.

4) She’s great and I want to hear more songs from her.

Vote: Approved

__________

Ricchi E Poveri - Ma non tutta la vita

Ricchi e Poveri have been going around since 1967. My mother listened to them. They started as a quartet, then became two, then one of them died and now, these are the last two members left, both in their 70s.

And despite that, these two are amazing.

Their voices are still great, their song is a bop, their energy is incredible. They are much, much better than a lot of these younger singers and I would’ve never imagined that goddamn Ricchi e Poveri would sing one of my favorite songs of this year.

Sure, the ghost of Raffaella Carrà possessed this song, considering the rhythm reminds me of her famous songs, but you know what? It works well. It’s good.

And the lyrics are good too. Even if this is a romantic song, it’s also a song about wanting your own freedom: but instead of stating it loudly, it softly hints at it (“You know I’ll wait for you / but not for all of my life”). It’s nice, it’s cute, I love it.

They do not deserve this position in the final chart, so I blame people thinking they were too old to participate. I thought the same and I repent.

Vote: I wish to have at least 10% of their energy

__________

Dargen D'Amico - Onda Alta

If you don’t think this song is perfect dancing material, you’re lying.

But also consider: the lyric is about immigrants, so this song isn’t just a bop, but it’s meaningful too.

Vote: good job, my boy

__________

Negramaro - Ricominciamo tutto

Honestly, never really cared about Negramaro’s songs and this one adds to the pile.

Vote: try again next time

__________

SANTI FRANCESI - l'amore in bocca

These guys and Negramaro have a higher rank than Ricchi e Poveri. The disrespect. The ignominy.

Vote: this song is a bit better than Negramaro’s song, fine, but it’s also… just okay.

__________

Mr.Rain - DUE ALTALENE

Is… he singing with Autotune? I’m not really a fan of it because I want to hear what you can do, not what the software can do to make you sound better.

But okay, maybe it’s part of how he wanted this song, I can accept it. But still, not a fan of the song: too boring.

Vote: Next

__________

The Kolors - UN RAGAZZO UNA RAGAZZA

The music video screams ‘80s, the song screams ‘80s as well. And, like every 80s song, the chorus is extremely catchy: so catchy that, after the second listening, I was still singing it.

Curse you, catchy rhythm and catchy song that will definitely become a summer hit.

Vote: “a boy meets a girl / lips on the lips / who guess what will happen”. Jeez, wow, a real mystery.

__________

Fiorella Mannoia - Mariposa

She’s another of those veteran singers (69 years old). And, once again, she slays harder than a lot of the younger artists.

I listened to this song once and fell in love immediately. The lyrics are beautiful: HERE you can read the English translation and I highly suggest it, because the song is full of beautiful images and harmonies.

But that’s not just the lyrics, it’s how she sings it. And she sings it with passion and pride. It wouldn’t be as effective, sung by a younger, softer voice: this songs needs a powerful, deep voice and Fiorella is perfect for it.

Vote: it deserves everything.

__________

Emma - APNEA

Look me in the eye, then explain how this comes before Fiorella Mannoia.

You can listen to this song on every radio everywhere: it’s not original, not funny and the lyrics are meh.

Also, couldn’t she find a way to fit the word “apnea” better? To me, it looks like she suddenly remembered and put it at the end of the verse (“you take my breath away/apnea”). I don’t know, it gives me the idea she hasn’t thought too much about it.

Vote: I couldn’t listen to this song more than twice - and the second time I was fed up already

__________

Diodato - Ti muovi

Apologies to all of his fans, but I never loved Diodato’s songs. Even when I won, I asked myself why: what do people find in this guy? Why do they love his songs so much?

Personally, I find this extremely boring.

Vote: this came before Fiorella Mannoia. The utter disrespect.

__________

Il Tre - FRAGILI

This song is La Sad without the punk. And I’ve always preferred the punk over this stuff.

Vote: punk > this

__________

Gazzelle - Tutto Qui

This song was so utterly boring, I barely managed to do a full listening.

Vote: how did these people get such high places in the final rank?!

__________

ALFA - Vai!

I don’t know who this guy is, but I LOVE his song. Good vibes, a carefree rhythm and a great message about living your life to the fullest. It makes me want to go out and explore new things. I want it as the theme song for every summer and every time I visit a new place.

Give this boy a chance, you might find your next happy song.

Vote: thank you for the happy vibes

__________

Alessandra Amoroso - Fino a qui

And here it is: the only song of the entire list that was so devastatingly boring, I didn’t even manage to finish one full listening.

Vote: Sorry Alessandra, but this is really bad. It doesn’t deserve the top 10.

__________

Il Volo - Capolavoro

Guys, your voices are still good, but this song is very VERY boring. And the lyrics are boring too.

Also, what the fuck does it even mean “you fall from the sky like a masterpiece”?! Every time I listen to it, I keep imagining paintings falling from the sky and I’m too perplexed and conflicted and also frustrated because this song is booooring.

Vote: you fall from the sky like a huge question mark

__________

Loredana Bertè - Pazza

Loredana is another veteran. She’s 73 and yet, look at her: way younger than the youngest singers. She has an attitude, she’s sassy, she’s confident. We all stan her.

Also, her song is about loving yourself and learning how to love yourself. And I’m pretty sure that this song, sung by a different voice, wouldn’t be so powerful. It needs such a powerful, “scratchy” voice.

Despite that, Loredana only got 7th place. And that’s a problem, because she said she wanted to win, to go to Eurovision and “mess with my ex-husband and the Swedish king”.

So, since this is an extremely valid reason and we all approve of it, I highly suggest the winner take Loredana and bring her to Sweden. She deserves to go around and wreak havoc. I want to see the poor Swedes dealing with her. I want to see her ex-husband quiver in fear. I want to see the Swedish king ask: “who are you and how did you enter my place?”. I want Loredana to take control of Sweden with her sassiness.

Vote: San Marino, you know what you have to do.

__________

Mahmood - TUTA GOLD

This is the reason I wanted to write this post.

Mahmood won two times already and both times he made good songs. He clearly proved he’s a good singer and I’m glad he gets the recognition he deserves.

When I listened to this song for the first time, it gave me chills. It’s interesting, it’s captivating. It’s full of images associated with his life in the suburbs and things he’s probably the only one to understand.

I think he came 6th, only because he won two times already and winning a third time would’ve been too much. But he still deserves all the recognition, so please listen to his song. It’ll be worth it.

Vote: in my final rank, he’s definitely top 3

__________

Irama - Tu no

I have another secret to share: I don’t like Irama’s songs. I know people like him, but I really cannot understand why. He has an interesting voice, sure. And fine, despite being a hugely boring romantic ballad, at least he sings it with passion.

But it’s a lament. Fine, the chorus is okay, but it became okay only after four listenings.

Vote: my brother loves this song and he’s a ballad lover. So I suppose people who love ballads love Irama? That’s how he got 5th place?

__________

Ghali - CASA MIA

A song about equality and against all wars. And not only the lyrics are very clear about it (“with imaginary lines, you bomb a hospital/for a piece of land or for a piece of bread”), but Ghali himself was very clear too, since he said “stop the genocide” right after his performance.

Somehow, a debate started over this. And hear this: it started because the Israeli ambassador got offended and said something like “he shouldn’t use the stage to say this”.

Yes, this is the stupidest thing you will read today and I can’t believe I just wrote it.

But hey, Ghali probably thought it was stupid too, since his reply was something like: “I’m sorry he got offended, what offended him, anyway? That I used my stage to give a message of peace? What should’ve used the stage for instead?” which proves:

he’s an absolute king

he’s much more mature than the supposed adults involved who are way older than him

Now, I know nothing about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and I don’t want to express any opinion about who is “right” or “wrong” here. But if you get offended over something like “stop the genocide”, then you have something to hide. It’s not rocket science, it’s evident.

And considering we can all see how heavy and uncontrollable the Israeli bombardment is, what do they think we should say? That it’s fine, keep going?

Even war has its rules. And bombing everything, especially civilians, isn’t part of them. It doesn’t matter how “right” you are or how wronged you feel: once you hit your enemy like this, you are automatically wrong. It’s as if the Allies exterminated all Germans during WW2: it never happened, because even something awful like war has a limit and a decency.

And if you don’t feel like people should express their opinion about war, then think twice: despite our issues, we still have freedom of speech in Italy. So if an artist wants to express an anti-war idea, they’re free to do it whatever and whenever they want. End of the discussion.

Vote: I bet you all forgot the manatee-looking alien. Yes, there was a manatee-looking alien.

__________

Annalisa - Sinceramente

This song came before Mahmood.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good song. You can dance to it, I danced to it too. It’s catchy, I’m sure it will be a huge hit and I love it. And she’s great too.

But it came before Mahmood.

Vote: can we switch? Mahmood 3rd place and this 6th? Or 5th and move Irama down?

__________

Geolier - I P’ ME, TU P’ TE

You have no idea how curious I was to hear this song.

All I knew about this guy, was that he got 60% from the televoting. More than half of Italy voted for him. Why? Who is he? What kind of song did he ever sing? I needed to listen to it!

And now I did. And, well, it became clear why it got so much attention.

Geolier sings by using the Neapolitan dialect. Except for three lines in the chorus in Italian, the rest of the song is in Neapolitan.

And this is incredibly interesting because the Neapolitan dialect is probably the most well-known dialect here in Italy. I think everyone knows or, at least, understands a bit of it. But even if I can understand it and even if I listened to this song a lot of times already, I still don’t get all the words. And I doubt others fully understand it (except for, well, Neapolitans). It’s a bit of a linguistic challenge, it’s fun.

And yes, I know this song would’ve never been Eurovision material, but imagine. Just imagine this song, on the international stage. The sheer confusion of the rest of the world. I mean, my father thought he was singing “in some weird English dialect from some island” and he spent 50 years in Italy. Just imagine a completely clueless person who knows nothing about Italian dialects.

And this is why you should listen to it and see what you can understand. Come on, give it a try! And even if you don’t understand a thing, at least you will hear a song about a breakup, the end of an abusive relationship and the need to take different ways. Which is still related to the love theme, but at least it talks about a different aspect of it.

Vote: absolutely deserved 2nd place. Maybe even the 1st place, just to witness Europe’s confusion while listening to it.

__________

Angelina Mango - La noia

When I did my first listening to the top 5 songs, my brother made me listen to them in random order. So I listened to Geolier first, then this one.

Geolier is clearly very southern: I mean, he sings in a southern dialect. But then I listened to this woman and not only she has a southern Italian accent, but she also uses a very clear southern rhythm for the song.

So can we consider this year’s Sanremo a victory for south Italy? Definitely. The rhythm is immaculate and yes, I know there are a lot of nice songs from north Italy too, but the south always had that magical, dance-y rhythm and I’m glad it was so well appreciated.

The lyric are very interesting too, because it’s a celebration of boredom. Boredom is essential for growth, it’s part of us and we need to embrace it, because it helps us - and that’s not what she says, but what biology says. We need moments of boredom: to recharge ourselves, to relax, to let new projects and ideas stem from it. We need boredom, just like we need to keep ourselves active.

It’s nice to see a song with a very different theme, with a rhythm that is both new and old, with a great lyric and a good singer. I’m very glad she won: people have great taste and that’s always nice to see that.

Vote: my father (aka the Eurovision prophet) already said she might win Eurovision. Italy’s new victory in less than 30 years? I’m all for it.

[vortexbeyondthestars]

troupe gramarye is soooo funny. theyre all insane and horrifically mentally ill and they all just hate each other. i just know reus told zak and valant their mothers buy them mega blox instead of legos. i just know thalassa and valant would beat each other over the head with metal pipes. sibling core. i just know that zak and thalassa were insufferable to be around. they go to ikea showrooms and pretend to be a toxic married couple. the entire troupe all fight eachother with their stupid magic props. reus has shot valant with an arrow more than once. zak and valant fight each other for the sexual tension of it and have gotten into a homoerotic swordfight multiple times. thalassa is aware of this and thinks its funny. she and reus have lunch every week where they just spend time bitching. magnifi killed himself bc of these mfs i swear

[alabasterandpitch]

So call me a furry but I picked up Beastars again after remembering theres a new season.

I'd watched the first one, despite being somewhat skeptical of the obvious furrybait, but ended up getting sucked into it by some oddly compelling element that I couldn't place my finger on.

Ye gods has my recent journey into sexuality and kink shed some light on why I enjoyed this show so much, even if I didn't realize/admit it at the time.

All the horny ass imagery about predator and prey animals, themes of sexual and emotional repression and just the whole dynamic of coming to terms with parts of yourself that may unsettle you has definitely struck me from a new angle this time around.

Not to mention the protagonist, I mean c'mon. Legoshi the melancholic sexual disaster bottom(?) who, despite being a good doggo, has that deer-in-the-headlights rizz and freezes up and whimpers when the 'school slut' undresses in front of him but somehow manages to unconsciously maintain a insanely homoerotic yet submissive sexual tension with the leader of the drama club (who is a stag 😍) for the whole first season.

Speaking of the stag, Louis, yeah definitely another closet bi moment there, 'nuff said. I like antlers, call it an occupational hazard 🫣

I swear I'm not a furry

[0l-unreliable]

Just want you to know, when I saw your cowboy andreil drawings, which I know were from a bit ago, they absolutely possessed me. I swear to god Marty Robbins himself was controlling me and I listened to gunslinger ballads for a week straight. 10/10 your art is amazing (not just the cowboys). However, I do sometimes get jumpscared by the Homestuck 🤣 (not because I don't like it, but because I keep forgetting I was a Homestuck kid)

I was in a Willie Nelson /Orville Peck blackout when those came to me, cowboys just really are something, huh?

I do feel like I'm setting up a jumpscare for people who followed for a specific thing but I'm in my 'be cringe, be free' era and recently re-read HS so. At the end of the day, I'm just a guy who likes complicated blondes with homoerotic tension between them and their darker-haired counterparts 😔

[bitchkay]

Court of darkness ships

Explained *biased and /hj*

Guy x Toa

Oh this just reeks of trauma and internalized homophobia you broken broken men!

Do you actually hate him or do you hate him because your attracted to him and you've been conditioned to think that's wrong and sinful and your channeling all that into anger toward the person your the person your attracted to and supposed to hate more than anybody and the "feuding families" provides you with an excuse.

Like babe closet is glass, its giving obsession, fan behavior, go be homoerotic somewhere else😐

Mfs glare at each other so often you think they're staring into each other's eyes

Mfs are about to kiss💀💀

Spouting insults at eachother at any chance they get

Gay as hell to have an arch nemesis, tf he arching? His back?

"I can't stand the sight of you" "I hate the sight of you more" like bruh might as well be a declaration of love💀

Guy x Fenn

This fanfic.

If you tell me these two haven't had sexual intercourse you're lying.

They've literally kissed before

IN CANON‼

MULTIPLE TIMES‼‼

Guy lets that man get away with a little too much with him if you get what I mean🤨🤨

Guy x Jasper

What straight man acts like thatt!!

Again the closet is glass

You don't have to act like you not boyfriends we already know, you straight up be flirting in front of everyone anyway

Nah cus why they act like a married couple in their honeymoon phase💀💀

The other princes have a valet, Guy gets a life partner💀

These two act like they're in a polyamorous relationship with MC no matter which one MC is specifically dating

No way these two haven't kissed

They walk into a room together and the air gets a little fruitier

Hold on-

🤨🏳️‍🌈⁉️

Guy x Roy

It's giving "I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me"

Roy literally gets jealous when other people have Guys attention

Roy's lil boy crush on Guy is sometimes a little embarrassing like bro is whipped💀💀

Like bro is so in love with him💀💀

Guy x Lynt

Guy secretly likes being cuddled.

This pairing is proof nobody can say no to Lynt

"Let go of me, I'm not your pillow." *dosen't struggle* *makes no effort to move* *ends up either napping with him or staying there the whole time for Lynts comfort*

Lynt likes Guys smell and Guy simply does nothing about it

I bet Lynt can tell when Guy uses a new body wash

Toa x Lynt

I've learned the ship name for this qelkedia and I love it

this fic.

Nah but for real tho these two are actually besties like

Lynt was the first person to give Toa a candy when they were children, if that doesn't sound like the beginning of a budding romance idk what is🙄🙄

Like imagine it, Toa(🏳️‍🌈 in denial) crushing on Lynt this cuddly cute bean and every time he does Toas having a major internal gay panic cus "I swear I don't like men, this is just normal Lynt behavior"

The internalized homophobia is hitting😳

Lynt x Roy

Imagine Lynts consort path right

Except Lynt and Roy fall in love instead.

That's all I have to say about that.

Roy also takes care of Lynt😭😭

Who else would be fully willing to CARRY Lynt to their S rank lectures because he wants him to go to class for once and its apparently common😭😭

"Will you carry me?" "If I must"

That's his boyfriend yall.

Violet x Jasper

Tell me they're not exes. I dare you

They used to date and Jasper did something (cus let's be honest why wouldn't it be Jaspers fault) and that's why Violet doesn't trust him

"Be wary of Jasper, he is a bad bad man" "to what do I owe such slanderous claims😊" "YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY"

"While I have you here, would you join me in town for a drink?" "Would you happen to be inviting me out on a date?" "Maybe I am😏" "THERE YOU GO AGAIN, FLIRTING WITH ANYTHING THAT WALKS" "you wound me, not just anyone meets my standards😏" "... do you enjoy lying Jasper?"

Tension so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Violet does however trust him and respect him as a valet but she will drag his name through the dirt if she can help it

Half the time she wont even say his name outright💀 it's always some iteration with spectacles💀💀

Idk for some reason I can see them having a reconciliation like say Jaspers in the valets quarters and Violet comes in but like is trying to avoid him but ultimately fails and then they're left alone in the valets quarters and idk have a heart to heart or some shit

Violet x Grayson

Tell me they wouldn't be drinking buddies at some point

So many times over in events and consort routes has Violet gotten drunk after being dumped by a man

Like if she was just broken up with best believe she'll pick up a bottle, and look Gray can't hold his liquor for the life of him

What ever happens happens I rest my case.

Like Grayson would obviously refuse a drink knowing he can't control himself when hes intoxicated but Violet, probably way deep in her cups by now and really emotional dosen't wanna drink alone and probably doesn't wanna be alone in general since she just got dumped so Gray gives in promising to pace himself which doesn't work cus Grayson guzzles liquor down like juice like he doesn't know he a fucking lightweight

Again whatever happens happens, let them decide how they feel about it once they're sober

Violet x Tino

These two are besties yall

Violet complains about men meanwhile the perfect man is right there🙄

Tino has nursed her back to health when drunk after being dumped multiple occasions carrying her to bed making sure shes safe(canon)

Stop looking for love and let love find you baby girl😩😩

Like I can imagine Tino carrying an almost black out drunk Violet to her room cus another man decided to be fucking BLIND and like Tino leaving a glass of water at her bedside and Violet deciding to be clingy is like whoa Tino don't go😣😣 and Tinos like 😐girl go to bed😐/j but Violet just wants someone to hold if only for the time being. And Tino, sweet sweet hearted Tino is weak to the asks of some who truely seems vulnerable and needs a bit of comforting, stay with her until she falls asleep♡

Violet x Hawk

Idk where this one came from but I like it!

Violet x Zev

Yall remember when Zev was flirting with Violet in the princes path

Tell me they don't have history right now

*Violet turning down his date invitation*

Zev: MMM! I love it when you ignore me!😫

They went on like 2-3 dates, the issue lies where Violet is actually looking for a partner while Zev is just casually dating

Violet x Mc

These bitches gay.

Nothing about this is heterosexual.

Nah cus why both of them have admitted they wouldn't mind getting with the other

That's so gay.

Dia x Fenn

... you just had to be there

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Dia x Sherry

I know what yall thinking

What?

But have yall seen they're interactions in the short stories😭😭

In Dias path itself Sherry says to mc that it would be nice to know Dia as well as her like😖 baby

In the short stories it mostly them bumping into eachother and Sherry's like wow your so pretty and you should smile more

One in particular where they run into eachother and Dias trying to get away from her(like he does with every one) and he smiles politely and says he has somewhere to go and Sherry's like wow you have such a beautiful smile, you should smile more and Dias like "...thanks😳" and blushes and at the compliment then Sherry's like gimme one more big smile and he does smile, hes like 😊 and shes like I hope you have cause to smile more often, smiles make for more harmonious communications♡

That's so cute yall

In another story they wanna borrow the same book from the library but Dias like you can have it let's her have the book but the Sherry's like we should read it together😄💖

Like?????????

Is this a slow burn romance or something😳😳

No but fr Dia acts annoyed but hes actually so nice to her😭

Rio x Sherry

Not my personal feat, I prefer them as friends

But they cute asf

I love a good friends to lovers moment

Especially knowing they're known each other since they were children

Childhood friends to lovers😋😋

Also the height difference is so cute

Rio is 6'2-6'3 and Sherry's literally 5 feet tall💀

Shorty has to crain her neck to look up at him and Rios like *lifts her up by the armpits* there😄

Roy lowkey ships them but the big brother in him is like nah

It's not that he doesn't think Rio is a good guy it's just that that's his baby sister!!

The day Sherry gets a paramour is the day Roy dies a little inside.

Addis Ira x Gilbert Qelsum

These is literally the most hateful mfs.

Traumatized their children and are shitty people in general

Why are they the only kings that mutually like each others

Gilbert trusts Addis

Hes the only one of the kings that he does trust btw

And Addis dotes on Gilbert

Why are you doting on him-- are yall in a relationship🤨⁉️

Nah cus why all the other kings is like if one trusts another, the other is scared of them or one likes and the other thinks they irritating or they both just hate eachother

I bet they bond over disliking Roc Avari--

I'm stuck on Addis Ira doting on Gilbert

How you doting on a grown ass man but not yo child--

Sus🤨

Moral of the story, Guy is fruity as fuck, gayest bitch in the building, Violet got hella rizz😩 and Toa and Lance are step siblings--