#the horns are so fucked up i am so sorry. omg.

[myinnerartist]

IT IS I, Load, once again!

And okay, so i found this hoodie on pinterest, and i HAD to draw noi in it. It was just too cute of an idea!!

So i hope you enjoy! I also drew it in a more rendered style this time around!

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[freeuselandonorris]

for the director's cut: (sorry to ask more about oscar pov) but i would love to know literally anything oscar pov from fit you like a glove like a puppet 🥵

omg never apologise for the excuse to let me think about WHY, EXACTLY, oscar piastri might want to get a massive fist stuck up him.

this is actually perfect timing because i watched tina horn's great online seminar on fisting the other day which was...certainly illuminating from an instructional point of view but ALSO went deep (ahem) into the psychology and history of fisting in a way that really chimed with me and also, i think, this version of oscar.

under the cut because i could write you a fucking BOOK on fisting lmao

one of the appeals of fisting that was discussed quite a bit is the idea of it as a kind of 'extreme sport' version of sex, so a difficult goal to attain and one that requires a kind of parallel to athleticism. this is a massive part of its appeal To Me and it's also why i particularly like writing it for drivers. and of course, when you add lando's ridiculous shovel paws into the mix, it's even MORE of a challenge and therefore even more of an achievement/mastery over the body to actually successfully do it.

i am getting very much into the weeds of sexual theory now but one of the terms that was discussed was circlusion, coined by bini adamczak in this incredible essay - i'd not come across the term before but it essentially refers to the act of being penetrated as an active, participatory event rather than a passive 'getting fucked'.

I wish to propose to you a new term, one that has been missing for a long time: “circlusion,” or, if you prefer a purer latinate, “circumclusion.” It denotes the antonym of penetration. It refers to the same physical process, but from the opposite perspective. Penetration means pushing something––a shaft or a nipple––into something else––a ring or a tube. Circlusion means pushing something––a ring or a tube––onto something else––a nipple or a shaft. The ring and the tube are rendered active. That’s all there is to it.

i LOVE this concept, and again i think it's very relevant to how oscar feels about the act of getting fisted (not that he'd be aware of this term or have conceptualised it for himself like this, but on a subconscious level he'd very much see himself as an active participant in taking lando inside him rather than the other way around). funnily enough, even though i wasn't familiar with the term it was definitely in my mind as i was writing it, reading it back now - lines like The prominent muscles of his back flex. He looks powerful, like a predator at rest.

i think this all also loops back to the beginning of the fic where the catalyst for them trying this in the first place is lando needling oscar about what his kinks are and then freaking out a bit when oscar picks this. i think there's some stubborn, slightly perverse streak in oscar that chose taking lando's fist deliberately, not necessarily because he's always had a massive fisting kink but because he knew it was the one thing lando would be nervous of, and he could use it to prove to lando how strong his body is and how much he can take. i think - again, on a subconscious level - that's a wildly attractive proposition to oscar.

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 5 Liveblog

“Finished pouting?” Never. Suroth has never finished pouting in her life

Egwene says “These colors don’t run!”

I’m sorry but I laughed at Lanfear’s outfit

Grolm time! I love the Seanchan theme it’s so creepy

We have handtalk!

Ahahahahahaha damn they are really going for the Whitecloak and Rand parallels (uniting everyone under our banner to fight the shadow)

Interesting scarification(?) on Turak’s bald head- are they coding him as imperial family? I forgot what his canonical relationship to the throne was

It's manicure time for Suroth's coke nails

Oh hai, it’s our buddy Fain

I forgot that Turak knew the box code (as did book!Lanfear) and that reports of him having the Horn would have gone back to Seanchan

True Power is very useful here

Oh my god you have horse girl Moiraine killing horses (like that’ll stop Lanfear)

I like how she vaporized his head

Omg I love Lanfear’s utter disdain

Perrin is very mad right now, love to see it

“You can’t run from what you are” but the boys are all sure as hell are going to try lmao

Moiraine like ‘it’s time for very bad news, are you keeping moving? good good’

‘If they’re all released we’re doomed’ (Look I’m gonna tell you a secret, they kinda suck, you guys will probably do ok)

Hopper is like ‘I’m on babysitting duty, I have no choice’

I hope we get Gaul but I will take… holy shit that is a smoking hot Aviendha

Omg omg is that Dain Bornhald? ill-met by moonlight

Perrin’s like ‘I do not understand and I am now officially in jailbreak mode, please leave any friendly warnings with my wolf’

It’s not a coincidence that there are Aiel and Seanchan, it’s the plot lmao (also the apocalypse)

I love Lanfear talking to herself so so much! Eat that scenery, Lanfear! Eat it for the woman and the man who no longer can eat things because you sewed their mouth shut and popped their head like a pimple, respectively

Browns Browns Browns

In the Ways again…

Liandrin, are you gonna try to recruit Nyneave? Let me rephrase that. Do you think you will SUCCEED in recruiting Nyneave?

Huh, tying the oaths to Artur Hawkwing, I kinda like that

Nihilism, baby!!! Oh I love Nyneave so much

Suroth is not having a good day

“Finished pouting?” Never. Suroth has never finished pouting in her life

“And plunge the Empire into civil war?” 👀👀👀 It’s fine they have spares

Lmao Suroth in a power struggle with Ishy is very fun

If you keep calling the last battle early, no one is going to believe you when it really is the last battle, Ishy

“People shouldn’t be in cages” that’s a book line!

She is so hot help

Ooooh I love the Aiel theme

The music this season is so good!!!

Dain with his big axe and Perrin with his hammer

The camera on the battle scenes is characteristic by now- feels very ‘in it’

Lanfear like ‘ah my Tel'Aran'Rhiod propaganda is working’

Congrats Moiraine now everyone in your family thinks Rand is your boytoy

Queen Galldrian and baby boy Barthanes!

Verin is like ‘oh hi! Did you know you have massive problems? :D’

It’s important to cross-check

Verin introducing Compulsion

Liandrin I think you don’t have a ton of leg to stand on criticizing the system when you’re about to feed these girls into it

Awww look she gave Nyneave a fighting chance

Egwene says “These colors don’t run!”

Avi like ‘wow you don’t even know what toh is, hoo boy’

I like their carpet mantles

Lmao Elayne’s priorities “They’re occupiers!” vs Nyneave “who cares, we need to get the fuck out of here” al’Meara

Verin is Columboing her way through the usual suspects

Omg Moiraine is actually being honest as well as truthful

And her sister is honest back

Rand needs protection! And he needs you because you’re his magic mom who gives him complexes

UM [this is Ishy cuddling up to Rand]

Subtlety thy name is not Lanfear

HUH (re Moiraine desperation)

Because you’re King Nihilist

MOGGY MENTION

TITS OUT FOR GRAENDAL

“The Boys” I disagree with Lanfear’s assessment of the girls (insane & vain/stupid) but she’s right about the boys, and it does set up the 'everyone in this office hates everyone else' vibes

See I told you, he’s King Nihilist

Booooooooooooo Mat’s not yours

Oh you have not seen anything yet re: breaking Rand

Oooooooooh Ishy prompted the omens for the Return?

Court of the Nine Moons mention! It's interesting having this be the first time we hear about it. Won't change things that much narratively unless certain other characters hear about it prior to the next season or so, though.

YES WE HAVE YELLOW AJAH I love it

Oh man this is going to hurt

Collars and leashes confirmed

Moiraine is correct that Lanfear probably won’t hurt him physically. However, she can absolutely hurt him emotionally so I don't think he's gonna be, uh, safe

Hmmmmm I don’t think I like the lack of mystery about why Lanfear turned, but otoh no living Aes Sedai is a reliable narrator about the Age of Legends, so I’m filing this under ‘reasonable but there might be a more interesting story later’

Staking Rand out like sexy sexy bait

Oooooh it’s symbolism time

I’m sorry but I laughed at Lanfear’s outfit

Oh episode 6 is going to be very hard to watch

[explosionshark]

bri I literally rewatched the Ep were Buffy gets kicked out of the Big Brother House + they go to the Bronze and it’s SO much funnier than I even remembered jfc

The fact that even Faith is like “wait I literally don’t want to be in charge, I just think B needs to take a nap before we rush into a plan” but EVERYONE ELSE INCLUDING BUFFY’S FRIENDS ARE JUST LIKE “ABSOLUTELY NOT, WE WANT VIOLENCE” is HYSTERICAL. The only other person NOT on team “get this blonde OUTTA HERE” is Principal Wood, and that’s EXCLUSIVELY because Faith read him so hard after their 3 minute conversation that he was too horned up to speak the rest of the night (and frankly he’s right for that).

Speaking of King Wood btw, forgot that he basically says to Faith “Fuffy Real Yeah?” which leads to Faith shading him and him literally BATTING HIS EYES BASICALLY AT HER LIKE ‘noooo faith don’t come for my everything noooo omg (kicks feet)’.

S7 was trip. I’m still mad that those ex wives never kiss. They literally argue every 10 seconds & Buffy is STILL dealing w/ this tangible fear that Faith is gonna try to fuck her life up again. She literally can’t parse that Faith just wants to like, be there & be a part of things!!! Let my stupid brunette big brown eyed loser girlfailure just grab her and kiss her!!! Please!!!

The melatonin NEEDS to kick in I’m actually going insane sicko mode about this!!!

hi stag sorry this languished in my inbox for soooo long i am just easily distractable.

anyway god yeah i really wish there had been more time for buffy/faith interactions bc like. what we get is SO tantalizing.

i love how the dynamic kinda flips - buffy's got all this anger she's been holding onto and faith, in the meantime, has become kinda just stoic and sad and even more fuckable. some good gifsets have REALLY highlighted this but the contrast btwn s3/s4 faith goading buffy into violence and gleefully accepting her ass whoopings vs s7 faith. when she gets suckerpunched in dirty girls she takes it really gracefully. when buffy hits her again outside the bronze in empty spaces she looks SO disappointed and devastated. watching that dynamic untangle over more time would have been soooo satisfying.

i guess that's what fic is for. there are a bunch of good s7 ones out there anyway.

[highlordofkrypton]

ACOTAR tag game 💕

I don't think I've seen one around, and figured this might be fun to do!

Answer the questions below & tag whoever you want, or make it an open tag!!

Who's your favourite ACOTAR character?

The myth, the man, the legend, the GOAT (sometimes) -- Tamlin.

Who's your least favourite character?

Feyre, but only bc I was trapped in her mind for too damn long before I DNFed.

Say something nice about your least favourite character.

Honestly, book 1 Feyre and me would have had a fucking blast! We are both feral people who can't read. We would have bitten so many people to make a point, my god. Without a doubt, immediately banned from Prythian.

Who's your favourite High Lord? (If you picked one for your fav character, then who's your second fav!)

Tarquin could rizz me any day. I'm so sorry, but when he was first introduced, I was ready for Feyre to abandon Rhys for him. I wouldn't even blame her 'cause me too, girl, me too.

Favourite MINOR character?

ANDRAS, OFC???? I'd be willing to make an Andras stan account and just make up shit about him and his life, let's GOOOOOO.

Favourite ship? (Crackships included!)

Tamsand to write, but I do like watching the Tamcien shippers go HAM with their content. I also wrote myself into loving Azriel x Rhysand's sister and Rhysand's parents so...

Favourite court and why?

Summer only because realistically, Spring would give me so many allergies with the flowers and stuff. I also think Summer probably has gorgeous beaches! OH AND WINTER FOR HEADCANON REASONS.

Make up a brand new court RIGHT NOW, NO PREP JUST VIBES.

UHHHH, NEBULA COURT. IT'S A SECRET COURT RUN BY A COUNCIL OF WOMEN, EACH OF THEM REPRESENTING A PLANET OR CONSTELLATION. They were hidden up until the second Hybern war because honestly, wtf are you High Lords doing give back the Cauldron it's not a tOY.

What relationship would you have wanted to see more of in the books?

Although I am dying on the hill of Cassian and Tamlin being himbo bffs BEFORE Tamlin and Rhys murdered each other's families, I wish we would see more development for ALL the faeries between one another. These people have known each other for centuries... Wouldn't they have favs? Or alliances?

What's your unpopular opinion?

Azriel would be a better character if romance was not factored in. As the only remaining character who isn't 'mated' of the guys, there's still room for his character to be salvaged? He has a lot of potential, but I feel like his characterization is bogged down by basically falling in love with ... available... women... and not in a funny way?

What's your favourite headcanon/fan canon?

Any art or writing that makes the Faeries a little more magical! I love the horns, tails and wings!! Looking at u @copypastus and @thrumbolt

If you were swept away to Prythian, what's ONE thing you would want to do?

I would be a problem.

If you could have ONE faerie ability seen in the books, which would it be?

SHADOW SINGING!! MY FAV THING IS DRAMA THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE ME OMG I WOULD BE TALKING SO MUCH SHIT WITH MY SHADOWS PLS

If you think of other silly questions to add, do it!

Tagging everyone in the community I can think of and if I forgot you pls jOIN IN ANYWAY!! @achaotichuman @rin-u-pos @wingsdippedingold @thedickgraysons @fourteentrout @copypastus @thrumbolt @praetorqueenreyna @goforth-ladymidnight @taymartiart @lucychanart @darah-g @yaralulu @positivelyruined

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

OFMD EP3 REACTION

we open with zheng's crew raiding a ship

"who's the captain" "he calls himself the soul reaper" "i'm not calling him that" zheng is great

WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE SUICIDE STUFF

"you've bested me" camera pans to stede and olu

"culturally, this must be very hard for you... but your last act on this planet WILL be surrendering to a woman" ZHENG IS GREAT. and the Very Confused expression on bartholemew's face like

stede's job is to ferry the champagne dslghskjgs

zheng chilling out and having a nice charcuterie board with the guy she's raiding... have i mentioned that she's the best because she's the best

zheng practically twirling her hair going "omg noooo forget it it's just a crazy idea aha....." she's a fucking genius. you work for her now, idiot

"that's what i always say! olu, don't i say that?" "no" olu's not havin it

zheng "this is a 'join me or die' situation" zheng's not havin it

STEDE PUT DOWN THE ABACUS THERE HAVE BEEN ENOUGH ABACUS CASUALTIES

oh fuck first mate aunty's seen the revenge

stede's running out the room

ooh the revenge is fucked. anyone who isn't a named character is probably dead

STEDE HURLS HIMSELF FUCKING OVERBOARD WITHOUT HESITATION GOOD LORD

he has a one track mind and all the stations are labeled "ed <3"

he fucking bellyflopped into the ocean i am begging him to grow a single brain cell

it plays the music that ed and stede kissed to... and then stede gets onboard the ruined ship with nobody there and it goes silent... i am eating my desk

there's blood streaks all over the walls, stede's portrait has daggers in it

the crew are eating a seagull

fucking scene from a horror movie right there

IT IS JUST THE FIVE OF THEM SGSKJGHSFJG

"where's ed?" "there's no good way to say this, stede, but we-" "OH IS THIS STEDE" archie i love you but please

"just thought you'd be taller, y'know, muscly, charismatic-" "why are you saying that" "...this is good soup" ARCHIE BABYGIRL

"bonnet! good to see you" izzy positively DRIPPING with stank. if we thought lucius hated stede, we ain't seen nothing yet

"frenchie, where is ed?" oh god he knows frenchie's so shit at lying "...he retired" to where, Pirate Heaven? well. Pirate Hell considering what he's been doing

everyone nodding at that, even izzy. i can't believe izzy wants to fucking spare stede's feelings

"you just wanna keep the soft one happy" LET ZHENG HAVE A GUYWIFE!!!

izzy saying HE stabbed stede's portrait and being remarkably unconvincing

and here we go with ed in purgatory!

edward teach, died on a beach

i know who this is i've seen the spoilers it's a vision of hornigold. the question is how much am i going to hate him

he's got a pet pig named ruthie so unfortunately that is a point in his favour. god damn it. let me hate someone

hornigold's got this ghostly reverb on his voice and i think he's wearing a sail as a coat? it looks cool

HE LOOKS LIKE IF MY GRANDPA WAS EVIL

"open up for the cargo ship" ...i already know people are gonna be weirdly horny about hornigold. i don't like it.

"LAST TIME I SAW YOU YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA FLAY MY SKIN AND FEED IT BACK TO ME" "yeah alright alright that was messed up i'm sorry. i was in a bad place back then... too much on the rhino horn" oh god ed's become him. is there generational trauma but for pirates. captaining trauma?

aunty please don't scare fang he is a delicate flower and he has been through enough

JIM AND OLU!!!!

"eu-caly-ptus-es. eu-ca-lump-tus" i'm never gonna say eucalyptus the same way again thank u olu

(shoulder bump) "i missed you" AWWWW "i kissed someone" OH FUCK RIGHT AWAY

they are still so fucking cute!!!!! zheng/olu/jim/archie endgame!!!

"i saw her boobs" "oh ok" "both of them" "ok that's enough" SLKFHSDGKJSHKG

stede's back on the ruined revenge STOP PLAYING THE KISS MUSIC I'M GOING INSANE

montage of stede retrieving all of ed's daggers

aaaaand izzy's there

"we just redecorated" "i don't mind actually i think the knives really help bring the place together" stede's priorities are 1) ed 2) being a bitch to izzy

"he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying, so which is it?" STEDE KNOWS

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one!" "you sent him to doggie heaven." GODDDDDD

"no. i could never do that. we deserted him on a beach, left nature to do the rest, more than he would've done for us" but it's a dream, so izzy is a lying liar who lies. to protect STEDE

"you and me did this to him, and we cannot let this crew suffer any more for our mistakes" if you told me last week that this line would come up in a conversation between stede and izzy, i would not fucking believe you when you told me who said it

"bet you're wondering how i ended up here" "nope" ed's just standing there like a five year old following their parent around

"you're worried you're insane" "yeah a little bit" YEAH SO AM I ED

SOUP AGAIN

SOUP HEALS EVERYTHING

"ed can be quite troubled" "girl, how ARE you" thank you zheng. how else do you respond to the #1 ed apologist

pirates do not know how to handle break-ups without having a little massacre as a treat huh

aunty has found Something!

"i thought about opening an inn" BLACKBEARD'S BAR AND GRILL AND FISHING EQUIPMENT AND GIFT SHOP ENDGAME PLEASE

and now ed and hornigold are play-acting it out

JEFF'S INN BY THE SEA okay WHY is ed's fake name always jeff. is that a tragic backstory too lmao

ed's little leaf for a pin

he really is just a little kid playing with his dadptain who really does not want to be playing with a five year old

"why are you being a dick" "i'm not being a dick, you're gonna have to deal with customers like that" this is unfortunately true

THAT POST ABOUT STEDE BEING GOOD AT FRONT OF HOUSE AND ED BEING GOOD AT BACK OF HOUSE. ENDGAME ENDGAME ENDGAME

"grown man covered in tattoos? with daddy issues?" hornigold woke up and chose violence

"i never told anyone about that" "but you did. and he left you" hornigold isn't just hornigold or a stand-in for ed's dad. he's all of ed's inner demons. welcome to purgatory bay bee

"and it all boils down to this: you're afraid you're unlovable" aaaaaaaaaand ed has snapped hornigold's neck. but he's not real so he's fine probably

yeah he sat up

"you can't kill me, eddie" montage of ed killing him over and over

man if eddie was hornigold's nickname for ed, izzy calling him eddie has a whole new context

OH FUCK AUNTY FOUND ED'S BODY IN THE HOLD

stede's face

frenchie leaning his head against izzy in the brig....

"go on, bonnet, give me your worst" and stede can't even say anything. and izzy's crying. and i'm crying.

pirate purgatory bay bee

is this a "ed can go back, but only if he chooses to" thing? with ED'S suicidal ideation? i know he does but let's see how they resolve it

"you're talking about purgatory" "no, what's that?" hornigold calling me out personally???

"what do you like about life?" "okay, warmth. good food. intercourse. orgasms." IS THIS FORESHADOWING HMMMMMM

cons: "i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i am rubbing my hands together babyboy you don't know how wrong you are

"pick up my fuckin' staff" dream hornigold is committed to being a wizard

olu trying to convince zheng not to execute izzy and co

BOAT-MANCE

"what is the status of that is it ongoing or?"

zheng: pro for killing jim is you will be single

"we're best friends. family." honestly no matter what form olu and jim's relationship takes i love them

"how would this execution affect-" (caresses olu's chest with her sword) "-us?" AAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly olu if you don't get with zheng. jim might. if they don't get executed

"what do you mean us?" "i was trying to seduce you" "oh" "was that not clear?" "no" i love how even the hyper-competent pirate queen is allowed to be a lil awkward

AND SHE'S KISSING OLU WELL WELL WELL

"towel service! ...it's chamomile!" it's CHLOROFORM BAY BEE

stede's organising a jailbreak!

"i never said [i had perfect aim]" "you said it today" lucius is not havin it

"the entire escape relies on this" this is the type of action movie hero shit that s1 pete would eat up. s2 pete, however, has at least a fraction of a brain cell and doesn't want to risk it. and you know what that is? growth.

FUCK YEAH ARCHIE

lucius ziplining across while going "ohgodohgodohgodohgod" big mood

"where's olu?" "go find him!" uh oh and jim's gonna walk in on him and zheng. they'd better join in or i'm rioting

HE'S SITTING ON HER DESK SWINGING HIS LITTLE FEETIES AS SHE KISSES HIM

"did you know about this?!" oh no she's gonna think he was playing her this whole time!!!

zheng runs out and jim runs in and olu is torn BUT HE TAKES JIM'S HAND

"set the sail!" stede there is barely half of a fucking sail

olu awkwardly waving at zheng and she's heartbroken oh god. she wasn't kidding when she said the timing was bad. now they've made a very dangerous enemy

izzy tries to THANK stede and stede just has a thousand yard, devastated stare and walks away

"you already made your choice" and ed suddenly has a very large rock tied to him oh god oh fuck

"i'm not me. i'm you. you brought me here." "why would i do that" gee i don't know ed maybe because you like torturing yourself

"so if you hate me and i'm you..." "...i hate myself" "bullseye! finally!" i'd say i feel sorry for ed but he did very much do all that shit

"...i'm not lovable" OKAY I AM NOT IMMUNE TO FEELING SORRY FOR ED

ed still needs someone else to pull the metaphorical trigger

only when stede goes down to the hold by himself does he allow himself to mourn

and there's ed in the ocean RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER

I'M CRYING

stede pulls the cover off ed's face and in the dream ed suddenly starts to struggle for air!!!!!

HIS FINGER'S TWITCHING

stede's crying i'm crying

god it's like a "come here" gesture i'm going insane and also crying

"I'M HERE!" AND THE ROPE FALLS OFF ED'S WAIST AND I HAVE TO PAUSE AND SOB LOUDLY!!!!!!

THE LITTLE MERSTEDE!!!!!!!

AND ED WAKES UP!!!!!!!

end credits sequence is just the sun shining through the water. i really thought it was gonna be ed sitting up and headbutting stede in the face

[aaaaaaaaaaaa-hey-its-jude-or-bee]

*giggles and twirls my hair*

morris.. I have nothing to show for morris I'm just gonna kiss him into changing his corporate so he helps small businesses :P (especially if farmer does crochet/knitting)

omg imagine a poly! morris + pierre + farmer. I'M SORRY I'LL SHUT UP NOW AHAHSRHRHFJSJF

maybe I am a little insane 😔...

an angel dragon hybrid. Is ... Uh.....

(angel wings + dragon horns and a tail basically lol........... . ... . maybe 2x double below ahahahahahha- *dies)

- 🫚anon

I'm taking this as a not request .... Hopefully AAJSJSKSK I'll probably end up making a little one shot (I ACTUALLY HAVE NO FUCKINH IDEA WHAT A ONE SHOT MEANS AS A WRITER I'LL BE SOFUCKING REAL WITH YLU ALL PLEASE DONT BULLY TIS SILLY OL GUY AJAKSJSKSKSKSK)

I am gonna go fucking insane I gotta finish the request and then your first request and then the others that I am goandjfjf I need to also start on the wizard ,,, HAJASJSKDKDK I'm gonna have so mu h fun with that one like oOOIAUAU I am insane ahauwjsjdj

I am over the angel dragon hybrid farmer thing it's ok I'm ok now omg I am sane yeaahhyeahhheahah!!! Waaaahhooooo!!! (Is not sane. Is in fact not ok. /J BAUSNWDK)

[abyssal-cryptid]

Still thoughts about Tears of the Kingdom (SPOILERS)

The Great Fairies look like they want to eat the small man when they first emerge

Zonai Zelda is so cute

The memories bro the memories

THERE IS A SECOND GIANT HORSE

Why cant I put flowers in their mane

Please let me marry Zonai Zelda

Rauru is like lmao Zelda I wont die *dies*

Rauru dont give Zelda more trauma she has been through so much already

Rauru is like "we will put this all on Link"

HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

I will write angry fanfic about this

Gleeoks are so terrifying what the fuck

You can upgrade your horses

What did they do to my beautiful dessert

They let me in as a man??? Noooo I was waiting to enjoy the complicated feelings of Link's gender again

Riju looks so good in this new look

Its so hot everywhere

Nooo my coins my coins!!!

Again doing shrines because I need hearts and stamina

I am a well enthusiast

I caught the golden horsie

Trying to find a perfect colored 5* speed horse is hard

Why are there gleeoks everywhere

IVE BEEN COLLECTING HORSE GEAR

Outfits my one true love

My horses are so cute

Let me customize the big horses pleaseee

I need to murder more deer for coins

Need to go deal with the Lurelin Village Pirates

DID I FREAK OUT ABOUT GIBDOS YET

I HATE THEM

Sorry I write these while Im not playing so I dont always remember to go in order

Im also writing fanfic because of course I am look at me

YOU CAN MAKE PICKAXES FROM THE MOBLIN HORNS

Im having so much fun

Shrines are becoming less awful

MY GOD I HATE GANONDORF

NOT SONIA

NOOOO

Wait how is Zelda the descendant of Sonia and Rauru if Sonia died without children

I saved this man's goats

Satori mountain is said to have endura carrots. I need them please

THE STICKY ARMOR LOOKS SO COOL

Im pro-all armors that show off Link's cool arm

I looked up how to get to Hestu and

I know what I need to do but I dont have the strength to do it

No joke theyre evil for this

How do I get gloom resistant armor

Playing the Zora main questline

The sky island has moon gravity!!

Where is Kass

The new dragon is a Light Dragon

Finally some good fucking food (All the apples on satori mountain)

Me: oh shit blood moon should be soon

Literally the next night: blood moon

Im a psychic

You are correct Roman there is so many apples here you do deserve some here you go baby boy

The checkmark you get for caves is if you killed the Bubbulfrog in there

I need to kill more

I want the full mystic armor

I have one friend who isnt into LOZ and I could tell all this to her but its no fun if she knows nothing about it

She does send me Zelda memes tho. 10/10 friend

Finally endura carrots

WAIT HOLD ON YIGA CLOTHES

OMG FINALLY

I love Malanya so much

Best god

I love Sidon but my god is he just in the way during the Water Temple

On the way, making me waste my bubbles, why do I have to be next to him to get the bubble

GET OUT OF THE WAY LET ME HIT THE CROCODILE

Useless

Hearing Zelda being referred to as the Sage of Time >>>>

Also I will not shut up about how pretty Zelda is

I have to draw her

Im a simple lesbian

My switch camera is full of screenshots of her

Every cutscene has her be so pretty

Sidon made me my own copy of him

And this man isnt marrying me

KING DOREPHAN DIDNT DIE

YAY

I dont think I could have handled that

WAIT SIDON'S BECOMING KING???

My camera roll is also full of screenshots of Sidon

NOO YONA BECAME QUEEN

DONT CALL HER BELOVED SIDON

SIDON STOP CALLING HER ENDEARING NAMES

SIDON

Yona is actually really sweet Im just having a moment

A sad day for Sidon lovers everywhere

King Sidon is handsome

He literally got on his knees to swear a vow to me and gave me a ring and married Yona

Yona is cute and I love her

Like her voice too

She's adorable

Maybe we can do a triad

Political(ish) marriage + one crackhead who attracts all the trouble

No because I still actively avoid spots where there used to be guardians

I was at a stable and went "no cant go that way there's guardians"

Nightmares wont give up ever apparently

ALSO HAVE YALL SEEN THE TIKTOKS OF LIKE

PEOPLE ABUSING THE BACKBAG KOROKS

There has been so many crucifications. The Korok Space Program. Fire is involved

I've also seen people build bombers and mechs

I love it

It seems so wild to me because I dont build in this game

If I can avoid it

I do use the dispensers but thats because its gambling

But all the material spots just get ignored

Nope

Dont care

Im going on Roman (my horsie)

But I love everyone is vibing

But still. I need easy mode

These posts are how I process the game btw. Been surprised that people have liked them. I will keep going because I have to process what I feel about things (doctor's orders)

[thirtyoneflirtingnoneanddying]

10.29

Idk how people do slow burn shit this is wack. Like if someone somehow is reading this and going around ruining shit with literally everyone i come across, please stop? Lol and if my tumblr is cursed, can we also just…..stop? And if I’m the problem it’s gonna need to be so clear lmao like i need someone to tell me

It’s looking more and more like this is just not going to go how I had hoped. And what a shit feeling lmao

You know what tho, if it doesn’t work it’s for a reason. Nothing meant for me will pass me up. Period.

This is just sooooooo wack. The back door too in saying he’s homeless liiiiiiiiiike……bro if you don’t wanna pursue something with me don’t fucking FUCK ME and don’t fucking NUT IN ME. Idc if i said you could, use your fucking brain! If you don’t like me like that and wouldn’t wanna risk me spitting your spawn out, don’t fuck me….. and don’t make excuses????? Like say you’re not into me like that. I’ll take you home, we’ll no longer speak to each other. Boom.

But omg the flirting. Like don’t flirt! Be straight up, i think you’re cute, id like to get to know you. Not all the rest. Not all the i wanna hold your hand for hours blah blah not all the can you help me practice kissing like don’t be a slime ball. Not all the visit me in Oakland. None of that shit. If you don’t know if I’m important don’t treat me like i fucking am.

You gotta tap into the xx headspace brody. Like I’ve said before, I’m sorry if you’ve dealt with girls who don’t really like you in the past but now you’re dealing with someone who actually likes you and is actually a whole ass earth angel who will dead ass treat you like a king, like not to toot my own horn but I’m cool as fuck. He would be so lucky. So, I guess i know that. That’s for him to either find out or pass up. Okay 😌

[itgirlgyu]

HI YOU HAVE LIKE NO IDEA WHO I AM BUT I'M INVESTED IN YOUR CRACK FICS AND I HAD LIKE A HELLA WEIRD DREAM AND I FIGURED YOU'RE SOMEONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND MY BRAIN WHEN IT'S ON CRACK.

Anyways (had a fucking heart attack trying to spell that), Beomgyu showed up and when he shows up that not a good sign. He hasn't shown up since the ceiling children issue Anyways. He was standing there, just doing his thing, in like a chicken costume?? Idk what he was doing but he was just sitting there, at my kitchen table, in a chicken cosplay... yea umm..

He started yelling at me in like this demon language ig, i have no idea. sounded like latin but no one speaks latin so demon language it is. Sounded like he was fucking possessed. And he was in a chicken costume. So my dumbass thought it would be an amazing idea to laugh at him... 'cause scary latin words being yelled at you by a deranged chicken-idol should obviously trigger laughter.

Beomgyu chased me around. He got a knife somewhere?? like at this point i was starting to wake up but he started referencing star wars and shit.. I don't even watch star wars. Idk, he tried stabbing me but the knife turned into the fortnite unicorn thingy.. and i just got hit by a fucking unicorn horn. I woke up after that but i swear my brain is on it's last brain cells..

maybe it was triggered by 'red lights' playing in a fucking baskin robins... okie byeee. sorry for bothering you...

I'm crys by the way...

omg hi crys,,,, honesty this made my day!!! LIKE THE AMOUNT OF LIKE SHIT THAT'S HAPPENING LIKE BRO WHAT IS GOING ON?! WHAT TO MAKE OF IT?!?

BUT YOU KNOW THIS ODDLY FEELS LIKE those prophetic dreams where you wake up in cold sweat and realise damn im the akin character... fuck... ALSO THIS BITCH LIKE COMING TO LIKE STAB U ANS INSTEAD OF THE KNIFE ANS IT'S THE UNICORN HORN!! OKAY no hear me OUT!!! IVE GOT A PLOT....

like you're this normal teenager doing dumb shit like lalalala life and then one day u wake up and see this strange old man on a chicken suit with ketchup and mustard stain and he's like meditating or some shit and you're like damn should i fall police but let me. laugh first and then he's like triggered ( i would be too if someone laughed at my livelihood) okay so u wake up from the attack u find out you're the chosen one for this one task and he's your animal friend assistant sidekick ans he can turn into an actual chicken this suit is just for his part time job bc he had to to earn money before u found u powers and he's like,,, no i can really turn into a chicken and then he turns into a chicken in from tor some kids that bully you ( enhypen kids) and then he in his chicken form give jongseong three bald spots and you're like,, WOW ur good ans hes like ikr.... 😩😜

[ethan-a-levels]

week 15

I kept working on the script and came up with a final draft of the story and had sent it to get approved by our teacher and then I sent the second draft and then my teacher said that it is good and told me to work on the other things 

Scene 1

Jakes room int night

We enter into a dark dimly lit room that’s really barren with just the basics necessities we can barely see a siluette of a boy sitting at his desk with his laptop wearing headphones we can hear techno music leak through the headphones he is aggressively typing into his laptop while jamming to his music we cut to the screen where is coding something in the laptop and is extremely cryptic and not comprehensible to normal people we slowly zoom out and we see that he has a very neatly arranged desk in front of him his laptop is coved with different sticky notes

Scene 2

Jakes room int night (montage)

We show him doing different activates in his room like typing Turing up his volume getting frustrated at the code that not working him taking some of the notes of his computer and throwing them in a dustbin on the table he is shown to be tired and frustrated by all this work and is tired of it

Scene 3

Jakes room int day

He has slept on his table itself in front of his laptop that’s flashing all of a sudden, his phone that’s kept on the desk starts ringing and he gets up and fumbles and drops his phone on the ground he swiftly gets up and checks his phone he has a bunch of missed calls from his friend and quickly calls him up

Jake

Hey what’s up in so sorry I had slept off I just finished running through the code and slept while it was getting updated wait give me a minute omg

He gets up from the chair in excitement and puts on his air pods and then continues

Tyler

Yo is everything good what happened man your stressing me out

Jake

I think we might have cracked the code I think i have done it

Tyler  

don’t just stand there check it out

the computer reads please enter your command he takes a huge sigh and types in “turn of the desk side lamp” just as he presses enter the lap next to him turns off

Jake

We have done it we are going to be millionaires we have gotten it

In the excitement he types in “turn on the ac” we hear the ac turn on

Tyler  

Let’s go we have worked on this for over two years now we deserve this

Just then a dog starts barking in the distance

Jake

Fuck this dog man keeps barking the whole day long it’s a pain I wish that I could write a code for all of these things too

Tyler  

You know your such a genius that this code itself might just work

They both have a laugh and he type “make the dog shut up” and just again as he presses enter he dog stops barking mid bark his jaw drops and is astonished and confused at the same time he screams

Jake

No way this can’t be real

Tyler

What i am so confused what is happening

Jake

I’ll call you back

he abruptly cuts the call and starts thinking of the most impossible thing he can type into the laptop he finally comes up with “I want Tanya to text me legs meet tonight” and again as he presses enter he gets a notification from her with the same typo

Jake

there is no way this should be working this is messed up if this is real then I have the power to control the world

just as he says this we see his shadow on the wall in front of him and we see horns growing out of it and we cut to his face to how a sinister grin on his face

cut to title

[jayfortheday]

I am OBSESSED with your Vance writings, literally losing my mind I’m so glad someone else likes him as much as I do. Any chance you could write an AU where the reader is kidnapped by the grabber and Vance saves/comforts them?? thank you again for your works omg I love them, and no worries if my ask is out of your comfort zone!

Stolen (Vance Hopper)

Pairing: Vance Hopper x GN!Reader (romantic)

Word count: 2034

Description: Ever since Y/N was taken by the Grabber, all of Vance’s time has gone towards finding them. When Vance wanders a certain neighborhood after days of searching, he spots Y/N in the window of a stranger's basement.

Tags: canon divergence, alternate universe, kidnapping, blood, police, gunshots, violence, angst, fuck sound physics

~~~~~~~~~~~~

On normal days, Vance would walk you home from school. However, Vance had tutoring on Fridays so you were all alone today. As you walked along the empty sidewalk, you could hear the sound of a car rounding the corner behind you. You could hear the car approach and in your peripheral vision, you could see a large black van pull up beside you. You paused and turned your head to look at it. The window on the passenger's side was open and inside, you saw an unfamiliar man wearing dark sunglasses. He stopped his van alongside you. 

“I’m sorry, kid, but do you know how to get to the highway from here? I’m trying to get to Denver,” the man inside said, laughing a little as he talked. You took a moment to think about how to describe the directions. “Uh, yeah. You’re gonna wanna turn out of the neigborhood up on Rayland street and go left ‘till you hit Main and-.”  The man raised up his hand to interrupt you.

“Do you think you could just show me on my map? I know I’m gonna forget what you said,” he laughed again as he spoke. It put you off a little but you nodded. 

He grabbed something you presumed was a map from his glovebox and opened his driver side door to step out and walked towards you. He walked around the van to you and you waited for him to show you his map. Before you could even comprehend what happened, he brought up some kind of aerosol can and sprayed something into your face. You cried out but a consuming void overtook all your senses and you fell limp into the man’s waiting arms.

- - -

When you awoke, you found yourself on a stained mattress with an offensive odor. Your vision was cloudy as you looked around the room. Through your blurry vision, you saw concrete walls with one small window near the top of the wall on your left. Other than that one source of light, the room was dark. You groaned slightly and tried to use your arms to raise yourself. Despite your best efforts, they gave out and you fell back onto the mattress. Black began to cloud your vision again and sleep took you once more.

- - -

When you awoke again, your vision was more clear. Your body didn’t feel as heavy and you were able to support yourself when you sat up. You rubbed some of the sleep from your eyes and ran your hands through your hair as you typically would when you woke up. When you finally took a good look at your surroundings, it hit you what had happened. You cautiously lifted your head to examine your space. 

You jumped slightly as you saw a figure standing on the wall, just under the window. Your eyes went wide as they stayed trained on them. 

“Awake?” The figure asked, slowly stepping forward. You didn’t respond. As the figure came into the light, you saw a tall man wearing a strange mask with horns and a large smile. He stepped forward, stopping at the edge of the mattress and crouched down so he was eye level with you. 

“Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you,” he said with a casual tone, speaking slightly slower than you would expect him to. He reached out his hand and lightly ran it along the side of your face. You shut your eyes and shuddered at the touch. 

“You look thirsty. You want a soda?” The man asked. His tone was hard to read and not being able to see his expression made his intentions unclear. You were thirsty though, but you were too afraid to properly respond. 

“I’ll be right back,” the man said, standing back to his full height and walking to the door at the other end of the room. With nothing else to do, you lay onto the mattress and waited for the man to return.

---

Vance, once again, wandered a new neighborhood. He looked at all the houses, gardens, and even trash cans looking for something that could guide him to your whereabouts. As he had for the past five days, he found nothing. All of the houses were normal houses, all the gardens were normal gardens, even all the trash was normal trash. His steps grew tired, he was beginning to lose hope. 

Just inside the range of his hearing, he began to detect a quiet sound. The sound of a voice calling out, though he could make out no words. Although he had very little reason to believe it was anything other than normal, Vance followed the sound to find it’s cause. The sound was only a couple houses away, someone not looking likely wouldn’t notice. Once he finally found the area from which the sound was coming, he paused, his eyes dutifully searching. 

There were two houses right next to each other, and Vance stood between them. As soon as he had reached the peak of the noise, it stopped and was replaced by another sound. What sounded like quiet screams before was now replaced by even quieter sobs. Vance’s mind was racing, but only between two thoughts. ‘What if it was you’ and ‘what if it isn’t you’, 

---

You had screamed until your throat burned and your cheeks hurt to move. Even with all your desperate screams, there was no indication that anyone could hear you. You tried to push out another scream but your throat refused. After another attempt, you stopped. An utter feeling of defeat began to sink into your heart. You lay down on the mattress and rubbed your palms on your eyes.

Your breath hitched in your throat as tears began to spill from your eyes. Even though there was no one there to witness your misery, you tried to hold in your tears, as if crying was admitting defeat to the situation. Despite your best effort, the sobs broke through. As soon as they came, you caved into the sadness, allowing your emotions to break free. You hugged your arms around yourself, leaning on your side as your body shook. Your body was still quite injured from what you had endured a couple of nights before, so your sobs were agonizing. 

You missed your house, you missed your dog, you missed your friends, and in this moment, you missed Vance. You wanted so desperately to leave wherever you were and to just forget this all happened, to pretend it was a dream. You imagined that you left, you imagined you were saved, you imagined that you stayed late at school or never agreed to give that man directions, anything but this. 

---

Stuck between two houses, Vance contemplated what to do. He looked for a place to start, maybe a window or a door, something. Close to the ground on the house on his left lay a small window, maybe two feet by four feet. Having nowhere else to look, Vance leaned down and peered in the window. He wasn’t prepared for what he would see inside.

Inside, he saw a stained bed with a curled up figure in the middle, emitting the sobs he heard from outside. There were metal bars on the window obscuring his view, but he could still see what he needed. He gave the window a knock, trying to attract the attention of the figure inside. The person inside froze at the noise, ceasing all noise and movement. Vance knocked again and the person cautiously looked up to the window with new confirmation of where the sound came from. 

Although he couldn’t make out any facial features, the hair and clothes were strikingly familiar. The figure on the bed stood up and slowly approached the window. He waited impatiently for their face to enter the light.

---

The knock on the window had pulled you from your sorrow. You froze at the sound, not sure if it was real or imagined. When it came again, you knew it was real. You looked up to the window, hopeful someone had noticed your screams. As you looked up, you saw a shadow blocking the light coming in. You stood up slowly, cautiously approaching the window. You were careful. What if this was a trap? You approached the window until you were as close as you could get while still remaining in view. 

---

Now that light was shown on the features of the person in the basement room, Vance’s hopes and fears were confirmed. There you stood, red eyes and tear-stained face, scratches, and bruises on your cheeks and eye. Your hair was messy and your clothes wrinkled and splattered with blood. Emotions inside him swelled as he processed you standing there. He watched your face change from confusion to shock. He watched you run up to the window and try to jump to climb it. Your hands hit the sill but your grip wasn’t tight enough and you fell. Empathetic pain crossed his face as your head smacked against the concrete floor. 

You took a small second before standing up and walking up to the window again.

“Vance,” you said, your voice greatly muffled by the thick glass and metal bars. “Vance, help. Please help.” Sadness filled Vance’s heart as he heard the subtle defeat in your muffled voice. 

“I’m gonna get you out of there, Y/N. I swear, I swear on my life,” Vance promised, pressing his hand to the window. “I’m gonna get the cops, and they’re gonna get you out of there, and they’re gonna arrest the motherfucker who did this, and everything’s gonna be ok.” You nodded, back up slightly, and sat back on the bed, still looking at Vance. 

“Please hurry, Vance,” you pleaded. “I’m scared.”

---

Sirens blared around the house as cops flooded the inside. Vance stood anxiously by the sidewalk, waiting for any sign of you. At least six cops entered the home, guns bared. There was shouting inside and the sound of a single shot being fired. Vance winced at the sound. Normally, Vance would appear stoic to any passersby, but the emotion of the situation had him anxious. 

Soon enough, two officers walked out of the house, escorting a man. The man had chin-length hair and pale skin. He struggled against the cops, who held him by his arms. They escorted him to the herd of police cars, where they roughly shoved him inside of one. It was maybe one minute more before the rest of the officers exited the house. The first three cops emerged empty-handed, but the fourth carried a body in his arms. Vance immediately knew it was you.

You were curled into the officer’s body, shaking slightly. Vance watched the officer walk over to and rest you in the ambulance parked by the sidewalk. Once they sat you in the van and the police officer walked over to the others, Vance ran over to you. 

“Y/N!” He called out as he ran to you. 

“Vance!” You shouted back to him, trying to stand to meet him. He met you before you could and almost tackled you in an embrace. Pain coursed through your body as he held you, but the emotional relief was too great to end it. 

Vance pulled away slightly to examine you. He lightly brushed a piece of hair away from your face to examine your facial injuries. 

“Y/N, I, I’m so sorry, I-,” you cut him off with a finger to his mouth. You grabbed either side of his face and pulled his lips to yours. You kissed him gently, yet passionately. As soon as you pulled him into you, he wrapped his arms around your torso and leaned into the kiss. After a couple of seconds, you pulled away.

“I really missed you, Vance,” you sighed, your lip trembling slightly. Vance brought his hand up to your face and smoothed over your lip with his thumb. 

“I missed you too, baby,” he replied softly. “But you’re back to me now, and you better bet I’m never letting you go again.”

“Never?” You chuckled quietly. Vance pressed another quick kiss to your lips.

“Never.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Woah! This is the longest fic I've written exclusively for this blog! I hope y'all who had the stamina enjoyed it, I had a blast writing it. I based the reader's experience off of Finny's in the movie since it sounds like the same things that happened to him happened to the other kids as well

[harryhoney-bee]

omg hi bae can you write about like demon!harry and angel!y/n and they're playing around and she accidentally hurts one of her wings and harry takes care of it 🥲

Amore

Summary: Harry accidentally hurt reader's wings.

Word count: 1.3k

A/n: Demon!h speaks latin, so here are the translations of some expressions: meo amore (my love), meo columba (my dove)

They were both watching a horror movie together, the angel was snuggled to Harry's side. The demon had a bored expression on his face, while Y/n was very agitated, clutching to his arms as if her life depended on it.

Harry wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer. "Sweetheart, you don't need to be scared, this movie is a total lie, ghost could give two fucks about a family moving into an old house."

The little girl in the movie had just got a glimpse of something behind her, the camera moved to the side, showing her reflection in an old mirror, moments later the lights went out a terrifying face screamed next to the girl's ear. The last thing the scenes showed was a putrid hand being placed on the girl's mouth, dragging her to the darkest corner of the room

Y/n quickly hid her face on Harry's shoulder, climbing on his lap unexpectedly. "Turn it off, now!" She demanded, feeling Harry's body moving under her, looking for the remote.

Harry turned off the tv, making the room silent again, he stroked the skin of her neck gently, trying to calm her down. "That's why I don't like horror movies, they always make you scared," he mumbled on her ear, kissing the side of her cheeks. "C'mon, look at me, wanna see your face, my little cherub."

She turned her face to him, feeling shy. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin our movie night."

He held both of her arms, pushing her softly so he could have a proper conversation. "Ya' never ruin anything, all time I spend with you is a good time."

"Those movies just seem wrong, I don't know if it has something to do with the whole–" she pointed at her head, a golden halo appearing on top of her before disappearing again "–celestial thing, or if I'm just not a fan," she explained.

"Angel, you're literally dating me, I'm the farthest you can get from celestial," he pointed at his head, where he materialized small, pointed horns. "You're just a rom-com kind of girl, but that's good because I'm a rom-com kinda guy too," Harry said, making a dorky face, which made the girl smile.

"I still can't believe you enjoy romantic movies," Y/n said giggling. "It's not very hellish of you." She teased, kissing his lips.

The demon looked at her with his eyes arched arrogantly. "Oh, would you like me to say what's something that you like that isn't very celestial of you?" He watched as realization hit the angel in front of him, she rolled her eyes, leaving his lap.

"You're so annoying," she muttered under her breath.

The demon turned his body to her. "I am what now, ya' getting bold, I see." He said, before playfully throwing himself on top of the angel, making her fall on her back on the couch, she was laughing, but it quickly turned into whines of pain when Harry pressed his chest against her body.

"Harry, no! My wings, my wings!" She cried, trying to free herself from his body, but the demon had already gotten up, worriedness taking control of his body as he saw his girlfriend sitting by his side and taking off her shirt.

Her beautiful silver wings extended at their fullest, except for the lowest part of it, which were crooked.

"Harry, it hurts," the angel said, trying to look at her own back while tears fell down her face.

Harry sat by her side, taking a closer look at her wings. "Mea columba, I am so sorry, I didn't know it would hurt you! Can I touch you? The feathers seem a bit crooked." He said, examining her back.

His poor thing, he was such an idiot. That's why he shouldn't be rough with her, she was delicate, she wasn't like him. Harry was physically robust, his wings were rigid, made out of bones, hers were the complete opposite.

"No, don't touch, It will hurt more," she said, taking his arms from her body. "Don't want anyone to touch it, I–"

Harry got on his knees in front of her, ignoring her naked chest, he cupped her cheeks and cleaned the tears off her face. "Mea amore, your wings aren't going to heal themselves, we need to fix it, alright? If you don't want me doing it I can leave you at heaven's door and the archangels can take a look at them."

She shook her head. "No, I don't wanna go the-there."

"We don't have any more options, amore." He sighed, stroking her face. "I promise you, I’ll be gentle." The demon was trying to reason with Y/n. She was already very sensitive to pain, so having her most fragile part bruised was really getting in the way of her logical thinking, leaving her with only fear.

She stared at him, pouting on her face. "Please be careful,'' was the last thing she said before turning her back to him, exhibiting her wings, clutching to one of the couch cushions, trying to concentrate on anything but her feathers.

Harry placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'll go get some ointment and gauze, stay here, don’t move.” The demon left her alone in the living room as he made his way upstairs to the bathroom, taking the first aid kit in hand before going back downstairs.

The angel still seemed very shaken, she was looking down, eyes shut. He got closer to her, placing the kit on the carpet. "Stay still, amore, I’m gonna take care of you.” He said, waiting to hear her faint ‘okay’ before starting.

He carefully took a hold of one of her feathers, applying a small quantity of the balsam cream before putting the feathers in their original up straight position. The angel tried to writhe when he touched her father, but Harry held her in place by her waits.

“Shh, It’ll be over soon, I promise,” he spoke in a soft voice, wrapping her feather in the gauze, repeating the procedure until all of her bruised feathers were involved in the white material.

Harry kissed the back of her neck, putting the items inside the first aid kit. He sat on the couch, placing her on his thighs, her teary eyes made him crumble. "Are you okay, it feels better now?" He asked, pecking her lips.

She cuddled to his chest and he embraced her by her lower back, careful not to touch her wings. "Yes, thank you, H," she said, laying her head on his shoulder, her left breast rubbing against the fabric of his t-shirt. "I just didn't tuck them correctly today, that's why that happened, I'm sorry."

He looked down at her face. "Hey, none of that. It was not your fault, it was mine, I shouldn't have been so rough with you, I am the one who's sorry," Harry apologized, lifting his right arm so she could snuggle into his more comfortably. "My little dove, my little columba." He kissed her forehead, feeling remorseful.

"You couldn't have known that you would hurt me, don't feel bad, you took care of me, it's ok now," she told him. "Tomorrow they'll be good again."

"I know they will, we can go to the archangels tomorrow, just to see if–"

"I already told you I won't be going there, Harry," Y/n said coldly, lips tightening in anger. "How many times will I have to tell you this? They made it very clear that they didn't want to see me again, so stop suggesting it." She buried her face even more on his chest, trying to get away from the conversation.

He stroked her head. "They are your family, amore."

"You are my family, Harry." She shortly, closing her eyes. "And don't want to talk about it anymore."

He sighed, giving up. "Alright, if that's what you want."

"It's what I want." She confirmed. "I want to take a nap." The angel said, changing subjects.

"Go on then, sweetheart." He said. “I'll be here when you wake up."

..

Please, reblog and leave a comment about the blurb!! Share your thought with me <3

Tag list: @elenagilbert01 , @bellelittleoff @sunflowervolume66, @evanjh @beachwood-cafe @lovey-harry @everythingharryy

[la-principessa-della-squadra]

Hello !! I really like the way you write for la squadra— your characterization is one of the best I've ever seen <3

Can I ask for LS having a male member who's loves to playfully flirt/tease them? (Like. hand on leg, bedroom eyes, sitting on their lap the whole nine yards) and is always "omg ur so pretty we should hang out HAHA JUST KIDDING... unless 😏"

HCS- La Squadra with a flirty male!reader

AWWWWWWWWWWWW~ Thank you so much for all your compliments, Troppo buono, troppo buono. lessss goooo

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio has a high opinion of himself because of his powerful stand and his killing skills in general. He usually works alone because of how invincible his White Album is, so when the two of you have to travel together to reach your next target, You can see He's all tense. He would probably be the one who's driving, in...silence? This is how nervous He is for this mission.

Please, always wear a safety belt when you drive with him cause If You try to break the ice by placing your hands on his knee Ghiaccio would suddenly swerve into the opposite lane and then turn back into the right one. And before you could say anything He would turn all red and the conversation would kinda go like this:

" MA SEI FUORI DI TESTA?! PER POCO NON CI AMMAZZIAMO!! CAZZO!CAZZO!CAZZO! TI SEMBRA IL MOMENTO GIUSTO PER PROVARE UNA COS SIMILE?!"

(ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! WE ALMOST GOT KILLED! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! WHY DO YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS THE RIGHT TIME TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE THAT")

"Scusa, Scusa, I was just trying to....rompere il Ghiaccio 💙 (break the ice).

"RIFALLO E VEDRAI DOVE TE LO FICCO IL GHIACCIO."

(DO IT AGAIN AND SEE WHAT'S THE NEXT THING I AM GONNA BRAKE.)

" Sorry Ghia, You're so cute when you get angry"

"Z-ZITTO! STA ZITTO PORCA MAD*NNA"

(S-SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!)

Now He's definitely flustered and would repeatedly punch the horn while outrunning the other cars.

Melone

Be careful with this individual. Melone loves when you're flirting cause he's the kind of guy who would flirt back without any problems. Careful, He gets touchy. You could be chilling at the headquarters, sitting on a sofa while waiting for Risotto orders. Melone would be porpusely sit next to you, so you can give him the bedroom eyes stare. Even if you are joking, Melone would slide his gaze all over your body while licking his lips. He could take you right there in front of everyone. Luckily,He tries a more subtle approach. His hand is suddenly on your hip and while he's pulling you closer he whispers:

"Di molto~sei in splendida in forma...non hai fatto uso di alcolici negli ultimi giorni, riesco a sentirlo dalla tua pelle..."

(Di molto~ you're in wonderful shape...you haven't drank alcohol in the last few days, that's why your skin is so soft...)

Before you could process anything of what He said, Melone has slipped his ungloved hand under your t-shirt. When did he remove the glove?! Who knows.

" ...sei stato in missione con Prosciutto, scommetto che hai respirato il suo fumo passivo."

(...You've been on missions with Prosciutto, I bet you've breathed in his secondhand smoke. )

Without any hesitations, He savors your jawline with his tongue. By the way he's gripping your skin, you think he's quite enjoying himself.

"MMH~ Bellissimo~ il sapore è ancora meglio del tatto...il fumo non ha compromesso il tuo sangue!"

( MMH~ Bellissimo~ You taste even better...Passive smoking hasn't affected your blood!)

Melone is very creepy in general and has no hesitation when it comes to get his hands in your body. As we say in Italy "Non svegliare il can che dorme" , Don't poke the bear.

Prosciutto

Another guy who thinks high of himself. He knows He's handsome and charming so your teasing and flirting does not surprise him. However, during missions He is very strict and would probably dismiss or ignoring any of your attempts (In Italy we would say:" ha una scopa nel culo", he has a bug up his ass).

If you try to flirt during a brake or outside of a mission, Prosciutto would smile back at you while puffing the smoke of his cigarette up in the air. After eyeing you with interest he would counter:

" Tch- quante storie per scroccarmi una cena. Immagino nessuno ti abbia mai portato a mangiare in un ristorante decente."

(Tch- You're making a lot of fuss just to scrounge up a nice dinner. I guess no one has ever taken you to a decent restaurant.)

Then He would get closer and offer you a drag from his cigarette.

" Non hai bisogno di riempirmi di moine per uscire con il sottoscritto. Vedi di vestirti bene però. Non ti basterà il tuo bel faccino per entrare dove stiamo andando"

(You have no need to sweet talk yours truly to get a date. Make sure to dress nice tho, your pretty face won't be enough to enter this place .)

If you still haven't take a drag from his cigarette He would cup your chin and stick the filter directly into your mouth.

"Guarda che non ti morde mica. Butta giù.Sii uomo, cazzo."

(it doesn't bite. C'mon. Breath in. Be a man, cazzo)

Illuso

This man is so vain and sleazy. if you flirt with him, He would totally flirt back but He will never take you seriously.

" Certo Amò, io voglio stare in stanza solo con te."

( No problem luv, I will share a room only with you)

If Illuso is REALLY into you, things could escalate quickly when you are alone with him. You could playfully curl your finger around one of his pigtails and He would push/drag you into the nearest mirror and say:

"E adesso cosa hai intenzione di fare la mia puttanella?"

(And now what, my little bitch?)

Formaggio

He's the funniest and the most laid back in the gang. Tell him he's looking cute today and He would be the first to trap you between his arms or on his lap and say:

"Come, Come, Come? Non ho sentito bene, ripeti un po'! "

( what'he say? I couldn't quite catch it)

Try to free yourself and He would hold you tighter until you squirm and repeat what you just said.

Risotto

Flirting with the Capo?! Do you like the taste of your own blood?! Jk. If the two of you are alone, Asking Risotto if you can sit in his lap would make him grin. He would silently invite you to make yourself at home by uncrossing his legs. If you accept his invitation tho, He would warn you:

" Attento Picciotto, non tirare troppo la corda con me. Sono sempre il tuo capo."

(Careful Picciotto, don't push your luck with me. I'm still your boss.)

Pesci

Teasing him is so fun! He's so easily flustered and your compliments makes him blush. He doesn't know how to respond to your flirts. Are you just joking?! Are you ACTUALLY into him!? He's too embarrassed to ask tho.

If the two of you are closer tho, He would actually respond to your compliments with other compliments! They would be really genuine!

"....Grazie! Anche i tuoi capelli ti stanno bene stamattina, c'hai messo il gel o la lacca?"

( ...Thanks! Your hair also looks good. Did you style it with gel or hairspray this morning?)

[softforloki]

Hey could you write something where reader is new to the team but before she joined she was a huge Loki fan girl. Most of her sleep wear is Loki themed and she’s got a ton of Loki plushies. It’s why she keeps the door locked. But one morning she forgets to close her door and Loki walks by and sees a collection of Loki stuffed animals and some clothing items. Instead of teasing her about it, he buys her a huge ass Loki teddy bear that’s almost to big to fit through the door but he manages. Just something cute and fluffy to brighten my awful mood.

ACK! YES! Omg this is such a cute idea thank you for sending in an idea.

For the record I am always accepting requests, but I may not write every idea I’m sent. So please if you have something you’d like to see send it in! 

Edit: OH MY OSIFSOIOSFDOJ GOD

I shit you not right as I was finished writing this, I highlighted the whole fic to put it in a word counter and i somehow managed to DELETE THE WHOLE FUCKING THING IFHOIFHWERIHGWOEIRFGOWI

If this seems a little fast paced and poorly written, then I’m really sorry but I had to rewrite literally this whole thing and I was really annoyed about it aosifhaoifhaois

Summery: Loki’s your favorite Avenger, and your personal decor can attest to that. Can you keep your passion under wraps when you move into the Avenger’s Tower?

Warnings: Very little swearing, just me loosing my mind

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,375

Caring in Secret

You’d always had a soft spot for villains.

You ate up every enemies-to-lovers novel, movie, or television show you could get your grubby hands on. You firmly believed that everyone had good in them. No matter what they did, everyone could be redeemed, and that they could put good into the world.

Maybe that made you naive, maybe it made you an idealist. No matter what people thought of you, you stayed true to your philosophy.

It was what had drawn you to Loki it the first place.

The man who had once brought ruin to your city was now working with the people who’d saved it. It was the redemption arch of your dreams.

The Avengers had some kind of PR team that seemed determined to bring Loki out of the shadows he lurked in by putting out more and more merchandise based around the God of Mischief. Loki themed graphic tees, pajamas, plushies, and even office supplies hit the market by storm, and you were at the front of the line to buy them.

You found yourself practically swimming in Loki merch, particularly stuffed toys. You had an army of about a dozen of them displayed on your bed and the shelves surrounding it. Something about being surrounded by the likeness of one of the most dangerous men in the world brought you so much comfort. Maybe it was the memory that people could change. That no matter what happened, they could get better.

For the longest time, you thought this was the closet you’d ever get to any of the Avengers. For better or for worse, this soon changed.

You didn’t officially work for SHIELD, so you didn’t expect to ever work with the heroes who kept the city- and the rest of the world- safe. You were a criminal psychologist working for the New York Police Department (an occupation that fit your idealist morals surprisingly well). You were good at your job, good enough that you’d been brought in by Director Fury to interrogate captured HYDRA agents and other captured bad guys.

Evidently, you were good enough at your job that you were promoted from everyday crooks to Avengers Level Threats.

Your knees went weak when you took your first steps into the incredible tower. You realized with a jolt that you were going to be living here from now on. You were living in a dream.

It wasn’t that day that you felt the electric shock of mortification about your admiration for the dark-haired demigod. When Loki (the real, non-stuffed Loki) shook your hand begrudgingly and introduced himself, you suddenly remembered your socks pattered with golden horned helmets tucked safely into your boots. 

You took care to lock the door to your bedroom whenever you left it. There wasn’t any shame in having an idol that you bought merchandise of, but it became a tad strange when you lived in the same building as that person.

You later discovered that the Avengers could get their own products for free, so a lot of them ironically wore clothes bearing their own or another team member’s resemblance. You still opted to keep your Loki treasure trove hidden away, and keep your graphic tees hidden under sweaters and zipped jackets. It was one thing when Thor wore hoodies with his brother’s name stamped across the back, you figured it would be a little less funny if you, a newbie, did the same.

Besides, you liked Loki, and you were pretty sure he liked you, too. You’d worked hard to crack the walls he’d set up and slip past his defenses. You didn’t want to jeopardize your friendship with him by revealing your boarder-line obsession. 

So you were diligent to always lock your door.

Until one day.

Two HYDRA agents who’d been causing the team problems for months were brought in, so you had to rush from your room to do your job. Halfway to the interrogation rooms, you realized with a chilling jolt that in the hurry, you’d left your door swinging, not just unlocked, but wide open.

“No one’s gonna go up there, for now.” You muttered, reasoning that it would just be a waste of time to run back up to shut the door. “Everyone’s busy down here.”

You ignored the growing pit in your stomach and hurried on.

. . .

Loki was going up to your room.

He hadn’t seen you in the chaos of bringing the agents in, so he decided to pop up to your room to make sure you knew what was happening. It had been easy to slip away undetected from the mass of people, reliving, even.

As Loki approached your room, he noticed your door hanging open. Odd, he thought, knowing this was out of character. You probably where down on the lower levels after all, if this was the case.

Despite knowing he should turn away, respect your privacy, or even close your door out of courtesy. That damnable curiosity that had plagued him for centuries pulled him closer, though. Just for a peek.

Bookshelf teeming with books, partially made bed, serval small plush versions of himself- wait, what?

Loki blinked a few times, sure he’d imagined them, but there they were. It was as if he’d seen the toys, his eyes had been opened to the rest of your room. He noticed the pajama pants patterned with his signature daggers draped over the foot of your bed. He saw you laptop, which had be decked out with Loki-themed stickers. He nearly stepped on a notebook emblazoned with his helmet lying on the floor.

Once the shock had worn off, he found himself somewhat flattered. It was charming, seeing this side of you. He knew he had some sort of fanbase (though for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why), he would’ve never imagined you were part of it.

His lips curled up in a found smile.

. . .

The knock startled you. You quickly slid your laptop under your covers, threw off your Loki-hoodie, stuffed it under your bed, and in record time answered the door.

You were well practiced in opening your bedroom door just enough so that you could see outside, but whoever was there couldn’t see in. That person, to your delight and somewhat horror; was Loki. A small smirk spread across his features when he saw you. 

“Hello, there.” He greeted smoothly. “I have something for you.”

“Something for me?” You echoed, raising a brow. “What the occasion?”

“No occasion.” He lilted. “Just something I thought you could add to your collection.”

“My- oh.”

Loki wrestled the comically large teddy bear through your doorway, placing it gently on the floor. You watched as it tipped over from the weight of its own head and fell onto your feet. The gesture would’ve been sweet, if not for the fact that the bear was costumed in Loki’s garb. You felt your heart sinking longer and loner as you continued to stare at the toy. “How did you know?” You asked, your voice a near whisper.

“I came up to get you for something a few days ago. You’d left your door opened.” Loki admitted, his smile dropping a fraction.

“Oh,” You said again, wishing you could curl in on yourself and die in a pit of embarrassment. You lowered your head.

 “You needn’t be ashamed, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Loki quickly said, gently closing his hands around your biceps. “It’s perfectly alright.”

“You’re not upset?”

“No, not at all. It’s quite endearing, actually.”

He released one of your arms, placing a finger under your chin to tilt your gaze up to meet his. He gave you a reassuring smile. You tentatively matched it. 

You wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your face securely into his chest. He held you, letting you hide.

“Perhaps once the public sees how important you are,” He whispered in your ear, sending shivers up your spine. “and there is merchandise of you as well, I’ll collect all that I can and decorate my room the same way.”

You groaned, hands fisting in his clothes. “Please don’t.”

He chuckled, his fingers ghosting over your back. “Just try and stop me, darling.”