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jellalism · 6 months

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Wriothesley x GN!Reader fic: Aftermath

You were one of the members of the now-disbanded Beret Society. Now that it's all over, Wriothesley invites all the people involved to his office one by one, to apologize and offer what little comfort he can.

Word count: 1677

Genre: Comfort

Content warnings: Mentions of trauma (no details)

Notes: Reader is gender neutral. Relationship can be read as either platonic or as a budding romance.

Read below or on AO3.

Before the Beret Society debacle, you and Wriothesley were on amicable terms. Not quite friends yet, but there was a mutual interest. He’d strike up a conversation when he saw you sitting at the cafeteria or when you ran into him in the halls. He had even invited you for tea once — something that turned out to be a common interest.

Then you joined the Beret Society, and it alienated you from the rest of the Fortress — including Wriothesley, your friend in the making. You wanted to talk to him, everyone in the Society wanted to talk to him in some sense, but no one had the guts or the clarity of mind. Telling the Duke everything that was going on was obviously the rational thing to do, but humans aren't as rational as they'd like to believe. A plethora of emotions is more often the root cause of actions they do or do not take. In this case, the prime emotion was fear. If the pay-off seems uncertain, and the price for failure seems infinitely steep, it is a scary thing to even consider taking that necessary action. And so everyone kept silent. You kept silent and kept your distance.

But now, Wriothesley has finally solved the case. You sit in his office. Every victim of Dougier was invited individually. Not for a stern lecture, but for comfort and apologies. From those who had gone to his office before you, you have already heard that there would even be financial compensation for Wriothesley's "lapse in delivering justice swiftly".

One by one, everyone was called to his office. It had taken a long time before your name was called. In fact, to your surprise, you had been the very last. Does he not want to see you? He may be hurt by your sudden distancing when you joined the Society, you fretted. And once you sat down inside, your worrying didn’t stop. Thoughts still whirl inside your head.

Despite the couch's comfort, your body is tense. You don't lean back against the sofa; instead, you sit upright, hands on your knees, legs close together. As if trying to take up as little space as possible; as if the very room is pressing down upon you. Wriothesley had turned on some music earlier, but even the soft tones of the piano resounding through the office don't manage to put you at ease.

"What kind of tea do you want?" His voice pulls you from your reverie.

It takes a moment for the question to register, and then another moment before you start stuttering and mumbling "I-I don't k-know, whatever you w-want."

From the corner of your eye, you see him turn around and frown.

"I'll just make you that oolong tea from Liyue that seemed to be your favorite when we were..." — he seems to weigh his words carefully — "... talking more often."

He puts a teapot warmer on the table in front of you, lights the candle below it and places the pot on top. "Now, let's let it steep for a couple of minutes." He finally sits down next to you on the sofa, but still at a respectable distance.

"Let's talk.” He takes a deep breath. “I'd like to sincerely apologize for not recognizing sooner what kind of place the Beret Society was. It has done immeasurable harm to people, and as warden of this fortress, it is my duty to prevent such things from happening. I failed. I am sorry."

You can’t find a single word to say. What is this? You knew he'd apologize, but now that it's actually happening, a flurry of unexpected emotions overtakes you. Relief and confusion, fear and happiness.

"If you want to talk about what happened, I'm here to listen. It’s the least I can do."

It’s the straw that breaks the Sumpter Beast's back. You cry. Not prettily; you bawl. The tension, built up over months, comes out all at once. You hide your face in your hands, trying to somewhat lessen the sound of your sobs, but it's to little avail. Suddenly, you feel a hand on your shoulder. Wriothesley’s hand seems hesitant, as if he's afraid to touch you. But his voice is soft and comforting: "You can cry as much as you like. It's okay. I'll be your shoulder to cry on."

You bridge the distance between you and him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. After a moment, he wraps his arms around you.

"It's okay, I'm here now. Everything is going to be alright."

You let the tears come. For several minutes, you sit like this, his warm arms wrapped around you. Then, finally, you untangle yourself from his embrace. "It was terrible." Your voice is soft and shaky, but the words come out. Wriothesley listens attentively while he pours tea and hands you a cup.

"To have that stuff injected, it's just... the worst possible nightmare."

"Mm-mm."

"And even when it's over, it's not really over. The memories are there and the fear still runs through my veins, like my whole body is riddled with it, like my whole body isn't my own, like it's possessed by an evil spirit that—" You bite your lip trying to hold back the tears.

Wriothesley's arm wraps around your shoulders again. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop it sooner. But I'm here now. You're safe. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel safe again. You won't live those nightmares again."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I took my distance from you, I just—"

"Hey." He places a finger on your lips. "None of this is your fault. Don't apologize."

"But I must've hurt you!" Your voice is barely more than a whisper, but your heart seems to scream it out.

"Well, I can't deny that I was a little disappointed to see you take your distance. But I didn't want to force you to hang out with me, so I just let it be. But that last time we spoke, even though you seemed glad about your membership in the Society, I thought I saw a glimpse of fear flit behind your eyes. In truth, that's what brought me to investigate. To make sure you really were in a good place."

You stay quiet for a moment. Wriothesley did that... for you?

"In that sense, you were instrumental in solving this case. I wouldn't have been on the trail otherwise."

“Thank you.” Your voice is barely audible.

“It’s my duty and my pleasure to take care of you. It’s my job as the warden of the Fortress to make sure everyone is safe, but it’s my desire to see to your safety specifically. I’m fond of you.” He softly squeezes your shoulder reassuringly. “If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”

You want to speak but are a little nervous. Wriothesley notices. “Whatever it is that’s on your mind, just speak.” His tone is almost commanding, but not unpleasantly so. It’s just the push you need to speak.

“If possible…” You swallow and gather the courage to continue the sentence. “Can we stay like this a little longer? I felt so lonely for so long… I need to feel someone's warmth beside me.”

Wriothesley grins. “Why did you think you were the last person I called to my office? I have no other things to take care of today, so you can stay as long as you like.”

“Thanks,” you murmur and snuggle next to him, careful not to spill the tea you’re holding. You take a sip. It’s as good as you remember, and you close your eyes in relaxation. Wriothesley knows how to make tea the right way.

“You really do have good taste,” he says softly. You open your eyes and find him, too, sipping from his own cup. “Oolong is a tea I don’t often have by myself, but maybe I should.”

“Right?” Some amusement creeps back into your voice. It’s been a long time since that last happened. “It’s such a unique taste. It’s simultaneously delicate and strong.”

“Like you, then.” He smiles.

“I—… What?” You look at him in shock, while his smile turns into a genuinely joyful laugh.

“It’s good to see you flustered like this! I like it! But” — his tone turns more serious — “it’s also true. I know you’re hurt. What you went through is horrible. Unspeakable, in more than one sense of the word. But I have full faith that you’ll get back up. You’re strong like that.”

“Am I, though?” you whisper to yourself without thinking.

Despite speaking so softly, Wriothesley still catches your words. “I believe you are.” His words are simple, but he speaks it with such certainty and authority that you are tempted to believe him. “And if you ever feel like you can’t take it anymore, I’ll be here for you. You don’t have to walk the path to recovery alone.”

Instead of speaking, you rest your head against him and close your eyes. You’re tired. You hadn’t realized it earlier, but speaking with Wriothesley, crying against him, shaking, letting go of all the tension… You’re exhausted. And he’s so comfortable. His arm is still wrapped around you. It makes you feel warm and safe.

“Tired, huh? Rest as much as you need.”

The scent of the tea, the soft fabric of the sofa, the piano piece on the gramophone, Wriothesley’s strong arm around you, and the warmth he emanates — they all lull you into the most peaceful sleep you’ve had in months.

***

As you fall asleep, Wriothesley carefully takes the cup from your hands, still half full. He looks at you with a smile. They’re so cute. For a long time, he gazes at your sleeping form leaning against him. Then, with his free hand, he grabs a book that is, fortunately, within arm’s reach. He’s willing to stay here for a few more hours if it helps you rest, body and soul.

#genshin impact #wriothesley x reader #genshin x reader #wriothesley #wriothesley x gn reader #my writing #fanfiction #its me. im back. with the comfort #comfort is what i DOOOOO baby

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theworldvsyoshiko · 6 months

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If you just wandered in here for some reason, I've been rambling about this for a while. The short version, though: I forgot to swap people around while I was setting up my initial colonists, so I accidentally started the game with a randomly-generated 13-year-old with almost no skills. She almost immediately picked up an ancient beer from the ground and chugged it, so needless to say, she immediately endeared herself to me.

Since this whole thing started happened by accident, I never documented the basic situation here, so might as well start with that.

Meet Yoshiko "Happy" Russell. She started as a solo mechanitor, which means that she installed a chip in her brain that allows her to control robots mechanoids, got discriminated against as a result, and decided to flee to the edge of known space to live by herself.

As if that wasn't bad enough, this is the backstory the game gave her:

Thanks to this, the game often displays her name as 'Happy, Pushover.'

She isn't good at anything except research. The only other thing she's competent at is shooting. She's not a horrible artist, but she's not good, either. I think she's only managed a single work with a quality above Poor.

She's also now 17 years old, because Rimworld accelerates aging for anyone under 20 to get them to adulthood faster. Going from 13 - 18 takes 2 actual years.

Also, if you are familiar with how Rimworld handles ages, you will notice that she's 3433 chronological years old (i.e. she was in cryosleep for millennia), which has to be one of the highest that I've seen. It's also confusing, because it's now the year 5501, which means that she was born in 2068. According to the fiction primer, humanity started spreading out from Earth around 2100. So this kid was, like, the first person off the planet. I'm gonna say that relativity bullshit is to blame.

She follows the Creticonian Creed, which came from the game's 'randomly generate a lightweight ideoligion and develop it through play' option. I added a couple of precepts to it before starting, and the result can basically be summarized as "it is a moral imperative to automate as much work as possible so I can spend more time on Space Reddit." This is a philosophy that makes her constantly a little bit happier because she has automated turrets outside her front door. The randomly-generated title for the leader is 'Great Great Automancer,' and they are entitled to wear a beret. Which is all to say that it sounds exactly like something that a 13-year-old who's too smart for her own good would come up with. I swear that apart from the tenets, I didn't touch any of this.

#rimworld #the world vs. yoshiko

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swannieluv · 4 months

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜ (Almost) free – (PLATONIC) Wriothesley x Teen!Reader

✦⸼࣪⸳𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 1,5k

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: Mentions of torture (?) and food poisoning.

✦⸼࣪⸳ A/N: HII! This was my first time writing a request and writing for Wriothesley, so I hope you can enjoy it!! Tumblr ate my last (three) draft before I posted, so I had to put an screenshot </3.

✦⸼࣪⸳ @wenutted

╰┈─➤Wriothesley was certainly a man with a lot of work to do. As the Duke of Meropide Fortress, his duty also extended to the most "troublesome" prisoners in the place. Among them was none other than [Name], a juvenile offender bold enough to steal from authority figures in the city of Fontaine.

It was during a summer afternoon that he met them. Wriothesley was on the wait for the arrival of a criminal on reports of serial thefts of jewelry and priceless possessions. There were no witnesses or traces that could lead to the identity of this thief, so even the Marechaussee Phantom was unable to follow their tracks, coming to the conclusion that they were someone ingenious and extremely experienced at what they did.

Well, what he didn't expect was that the notorious bandit he had been waiting for was a teenager with a bad sense of humor and terrible acting.

The "menace on the loose" who was giving the Fontaine authorities such a headache was right there in front of him, caught after falling asleep in a very comfortable seat inside the Court of Fontaine. It could be said that their carelessness had handed them over to their own hunters.

When asked abouth how they had managed to flee so fast from the crime scenes and hide themselves. The only answer they gave, with a straight face, was:

“I was literally just going in and out through the front doors.”

Quite the unexpected answer.

"Your Grace?" Wriothesley was cut short from his thoughts by two fingers snapping in front of his eyes. The only person brave enough to do that, without a doubt, was them. "What are you thinking? I thought we were going to have tea together."

"Me? Well, I was remembering the first time you set foot in this place." He crossed his arms and let out a little sigh. Their sentence was running out with each passing second, and he didn't want to admit that he would miss them if they left.

"Oh, when I gave you the middle…" He quickly shushed them with a hand right in front of their face.

"Yeah, I know. You were terrible to deal with back then." He ran his fingers through their hair playfully, messing it up.

"But I'm better today," they retorted with a simple sentence that carried a deep weight behind it.

A few months had passed since the incident with the Beret Society. [Name]'s behavior had changed drastically since they had been invited to join the group. In the end, it had all been a tremendous lack of humanity on Dougie's part; recruiting the youngest prisoner in the place and putting them through the same punishment he used with adults while handling the Aqua Doloris.

Before, they were sharp in their comments and too relaxed for their own good, one of the reasons that led them to this place after all. It quite amazed Wriothesley at how they ended up avoiding being caught by the Marechaussee, when they definitely didn't even know how to hide or lie.

They played a big part in their little game against Dougie, making Wriothesley start to pay more attention and spend some extra time supervisioning them.

"If I leave, Your Grace will miss me so much that you'll want to lock me up in that cell again. But guess what? You won't,” they sarcastically declared while jumping down the stairs.

“If you fall down those stairs, you won't be able to leave here before recovering; You know that, right child?” Wriothesley could imagine them falling. It wouldn't be their first time hitting the ground hard.

But contrary to expectations, it was Wriothesley who tripped and almost fell down the stairs, holding on tightly to the banister; trying his best to act as if nothing had happened. An embarrassing silence between them.

“Pfft…”

It was all that could be heard, them laughing at him, who remained motionless in place. Maybe he really was going to miss that little pest who, until now, had given him nothing but trouble. There was only one day until they're officially a free citizen again, but even though they joked about the possibility of leaving, their final decision had not yet been made.

"You really are fearless, aren't you?" He chuckled and looked straight into their eyes. "Not everyone has the nerves to joke like that, maybe I should ask for your sentence to be increased or something..."

Click, click.

Soft footsteps approached them, a sound they were both used to hearing through Meropide.

"I brought tea."

From the top of the stairs, Sigewinne had a smile on her face, carrying a small tray with her. At the sight of it, their faces instantly paled. As Sigewinne didn't have the same senses as humans, her cooking was peculiar, to say the least.

"Did you ask her to do it?" Wriothesley whispered to the teen as he watched Sigewinne walk down to them.

"Definitely not. She must have heard we were supposed to do it today."

The two exchanged glances, as if in telepathic communication. The current plan was to escape from the tea without hurting the feelings of the melusine in front of them. So as soon as she got close enough, the lame excuses began.

"Well, Sigewinne, I'd love to enjoy this wonderful drink with you but," she said in a pained tone, a terribly fake performance, "my tummy hurts, so I'll pass this time. You can give my cup to His Grace, he loves tea after all."

They held their belly, pretending to be in pain. But as always, Sigewinne knew how to get around the situation.

"Hm? There's nothing to worry about, this tea is good for the intestinal flora."

"Wonderful news, right, [Name]?" Wriothesley nudged Sigewinne lightly. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to join you two. Duty calls, child.”

Their jaw dropped. That's it, there was no way out of this. Wriothesley could only grin at them and walk away while [Name] was being forced towards their usual tea-time spot. His grin had the exact following translation: "You're doomed."

And so, [Name] had to drink the cursed beverage.

Knock, knock.

Wriothesley's head rose to look at the door. He was just finishing his paperwork, something he could do another day, but which he needed to pretend he was doing so as not to make it so obvious why he wasn't drinking the tea Sigewinne had made.

"Who's there?"

"Someone who’s going to be outside the Fortress as soon as they can," the familiar voice on the other side of the door mocked, sounding like [Name] had finally made his choice, "I don't really like the part about being a juvenile offender or something like that."

Wriothesley let out a low laugh and let them in. He was genuinely not surprised by such a decision. [Name] was a thief on the loose around Fontaine and never stayed in one place for long. Name's preference to not remain contained within the walls of Meropide Fortress was certainly not surprising.

"What made you not want to stay here?" He crossed his arms and leaned further back in his chair; it was a rather comical situation for him.

"Here is nice. I've got food, a roof over my head, people to talk to," they mimicked his action and crossed their arms, "and you're here. But I do miss my true freedom outside those thick walls."

He stared at them with a fond smile on his face. He was quite sad that he would need to say goodbye to that child. Even if selfishly, Wriothesley secretly wished they wouldn't leave Meropide yet. Maybe he did have a favorite prisoner, after all.

“Now, can I get my ‘ultra mega hyper master favorite prisoner’ title before I go?”

They looked at him with stars in their eyes. To be honest, it was quite laughable.

“We’ll see how it goes.” He placed down the papers in his hand, waiting for them to speak more. Wriothesley definitely couldn't do that, even though it would be hilarious to see the other's reaction.

He got up and walked over to them. Unlike expected, Wriothesley hugged them and patted their head. And with a big smile on his face, he could proudly say:

"Enjoy your life out of here, little prick.” He gave them a playful, painless smack on the head.

“Thank you, Your Grace; but…”

They smiled mischievously at him and pointed to the door. Through it, came Sigewinne with her snack tray.

“To show my appreciation towards Your Grace and the great time I had here, I kindly requested my little friend Sigewinne to prepare the best pastries ever.”

The snacks presented to him had a suspicious smell. Maybe Sigewinne was also voluntarily partaking in this small prank. It was hard to say because of her usual smile.

“Just for you.”

In the end, even he couldn't escape getting a taste from his own medicine.

✦⸼࣪⸳♡ BONUS:

“I thought you would be free. What happened, [Name]?”

Sigewinne put a finger over her mouth, trying to understand the reason why they would stay inside such a place when they wanted to be free.

“I got sentenced to more time for ‘murder attempt through food poisoning’.”

“Towards who?” She tilted her head in confusion, an interested look in her face.

“...”

They silently pointed towards the Duke.

“Oh.”

#fontaine #genshin fontaine #genshin impact #genshin platonic #genshin x reader #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #sigewinne #genshin oneshots #fontaine x reader #genshin x you #genshin x gender neutral reader #Swanniesarchive<3

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gold-rhine · 3 months

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What the guard dogs are for

There are some things you never want to hear your secret years-long crush saying, such as “I’m getting married,” “I think we should stay friends” or “I’m the destroyer of the present order, the one who shall judge all gods, and the foe of humanity.” Wriothesley’s very bad, no good day of trying to unravel conspiracy theories, fumbling a tea party with Chief Justice and learning Teyvat’s ancient history and vishap lore from the leading expert lector.

Genre: angst and misinformation campaign

Characters: Neuvillette\Wriothesley, Enjou

Warnings: sfw in a sense that nothing even remotely sexy happens, but there is dissociation, ptsd episode, brief mention of self-harm, and Enjou doing same thing he does in canon, which is not quite gaslighting? Anyway, let me know if you feel any other warnings need to be added.

Chapters: 1 out of 2. Wordcount: ~8k

With his morning tea, Wriothesley riffled through the reports as usual. Nothing was marked urgent, so he started with the most boring part, - the official ones. The production numbers, coupon consumption statistics, everything is prepared for Neuvillette’s upcoming inspection, which was mostly a formality, but he would want it to go as smoothly as possible.

Reports from the surface informants. Traveler stirring up a ruckus with the research institute… Well, about time, that pit couldn’t go on forever pretending that massive explosions are just a part of science routine.

Next, creatures called “vishaps” appeared recently in Erinnyes Forest. These vishaps are apparently a lesser form of dragons, and connected to Liyue vishaps, also lizard-like creatures, though in Liyue they are aligned with geo, not hydro. Non-hostile to humans, aside from one accident. But in that one they fought back against the hunters sent by nobles to capture them as novelty pets. So the only regrettable part was that they didn’t get the nobles, only their lackeys. For shame.

Next, there are gangs with new lingo going around, which generally was a good thing to pay attention to as they usually ended up in Meropide. Wriothesley frowned, reading the lingo translations, as he suddenly felt old. “Trendy Zaytun Peach” was something he’d got called for taking it up the ass a lot in his days, but now it’s a hip and cool nickname with the youngsters.

Informal internal reports. Victims of beret society are rehabilitating fine, preparations for the wedding are underway. Good. Albert, a new guy from the shop, is sending him tea. Quite good tea at that. Obviously a bribe attempt, though he didn’t ask for anything as of yet, so it was basically free. Everything was fair in love and bribes as far as Wriothesley was concerned. You could throw everything at the feet of your beloved as to the feet of your targeted bureaucrat, and receive nothing and you would have no claim to complain. Now, the fact he wouldn’t take it into account when making decisions about their proposals, and sometimes would even consider it a negative, was a different matter altogether.

He perked up reading the last report. There was a new conspiracy, whose agenda was not very clear, as they were more careful than the others, but the gist was something against Neuvillette, so Wriothesley was tracking it for some time. It was hard to get anything concrete though, as they were pretty good at keeping a low profile, but now apparently one of the members by the name of Jacque got into the Fortress on unrelated charges, and he was reportedly not the brightest shank on the block.

Wriothesley made the arrangements.

Half an hour later, he happened to stroll by when Jacque was being beaten up by three guys in the shadowy corner.

“Hey, what’s going on here? Leave him alone!” he said, walking up to them.

“Oh yeah?”, said one of the bullies, turning to him. “Well, make me!”

They were paid double for the pretend fight. It might have been an overkill, usually Wriothesley would go for just scaring them off without combat. Especially because anyone who’s been in the Fortess for some time or had a head on their shoulders would understand that nobody would try to openly fight the Duke outside of the fight club arena. But Jacque was as fresh as they get, allegedly stupid, and it was Wriothesley’s first chance at any info in two whole months, so he decided to make it as impressive as possible.

He went as easy on the guys as he could, they theatrically threw the fight and retreated.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, kneeling next to the guy in the corner and putting his hand on his shoulder for emphasis.

“Yeah, yeah, I think I’m fine,” Jacque muttered, shaking his head.

“Why did they attack you?”

“They don’t want me to spread the truth...” Jacque said with heavy emphasis. “But uh, thanks for helping me out.”

“No need to thank me. I feel bad enough that honest folk like yourself get picked on in MY Fortress. That’s not how I want to run my place, so it’s only natural that I stand up for you.”

It took a moment, but finally the guy gasped.

“Your fortress? Are you… the Duke?”

At least he knew what “Duke” is.

“Yeah,” Wriothesley grinned, turning up the charm. “And allow me to get you a couple of drinks to compensate for the rude welcome you’ve received so far.”

He got them to the Coupon Cafeteria, where best meals were already arranged, and generously poured alcohol into the poor guy, listening to the story of his life and misfortunes that brought him to the Fortress, nodding empathetically. He didn’t ask about Neuvillette at all, to not spook the target, trusting that he will come to this anyway, and finally his patience was rewarded.

“You know, you’re good!” the guy said drunkenly after some time, clasping his hand on Wriothesley's shoulder, which he beared stoically, grinning with all friendliness in the world.

“You know, they say we can’t talk to you because you’re bought by that lizard, but I think you’re a good guy. You just don’t know all the facts!”

“Which are?”

The guy leaned closer to him and lowered his voice to a dramatic whisper. “Neuvillette is an evil dragon!”

Wriothesley choked on a laughter, which was way too obvious to turn into cough even for the dunce this stupid.

“No, you don't understand! Dragons were enemies of humanity that Celestia conquered. But they come back when killed! They reincarnate! He is a hydro dragon who was reborn in a human form so he could more easily trick us!”

Wriothesley blinked, remembering Neuvillette standing under the rain, and the old children’s song. “Hydro dragon, Hydro dragon, don’t cry….”

“He put our rightful archon Furina on that trial, right? No one else saw the verdict, so he pretended she was declared guilty. He forced her to abdicate and took the power for himself!”

Wriothesley realized long ago that Neuvilette, of course, was not human. It was clear to any idiot who talked to him for longer than a minute in an informal setting, not to mention a lifespan of at least five hundred years. But there were a lot of options other than “evil dragon”. There were old gods who did not receive archonhood, but instead decided to serve the archon, like Liyue’s adepti, and he always assumed Neuvillette was of the same kind. But the idea that Iudex was some kind of evil monster with a grudge against humanity was ridiculous. Especially when he showed up at the Fortress and saved the entire Fountaine and Wriothesley’s own hide from the flood.

“Really?”

“Yeah! We should restore our true archon Furina to her rightful throne!”

Furina’s insurrection? Interesting. Wouldn’t peg her for someone capable of this type of conspiracy.

“And did Furina herself give us her blessing?”

“She can’t speak publicly, as this monster threatens her.”

Hmm, inconclusive on Furina’s involvement.

He spent more time with the drunk Jacque, trying to get more details, but couldn’t get much more than unhinged ramblings on how evil the dragons are and how insidious it was for a dragon to pretend to be a human. He had to leave to prepare to Neuvillette's arrival the next day.

_____

Neuvillette stepped out of Opera Epiclese into the rain and slowed down his pace to prolong the sensation. It was a bit of what humans called guilty pleasure, as he felt guilty from inflicting rain on humans for his own pleasure. Though from his understanding, humans felt guilty because they saw this pleasure as something bad for themselves. Even if often this supposed harm made no sense to Neuvillette. Eating too much food until a human's stomach hurt was at least understandable to see as such, but he heard one of palais’ secretaries say that romance novels were her guilty pleasure. How could humans feel guilty for something as simple as reading? He stopped and asked her why she would feel guilty for reading, because melusines kept telling him that socializing with humans is very easy, you just need to ask them questions about themselves and let them talk about what they like. Well, it didn’t seem to work, as the secretary stumbled, started hyperventilating and emanated levels of panic and anxiety comparable to someone in the defendant’s chair. Sensing human emotions did not actually help Neuvillette in communicating with them, as he could not discern the reasons. He asked her if she perhaps came into possession of any cursed texts? He could generally sense the stench of corruption and there was nothing on her, but there was always a possibility that it was a curse he could not register. She panicked even more and vehemently denied. At this point he decided to give up on socializing, as it was obviously very distressing for humans, but felt obliged to tell her that if she ever did read anything she felt was cursed, to inform him. He hoped it would assuage her fear of reading. She thanked him, stuttering, and after that day avoided him at all costs.

The rain was a compromise solution in any case. Neuvillette always felt a bit strained and uncomfortable in his body, but after obtaining full dragonhood and most of the memories of past lives, the human shape felt downright stifling. He now remembered thousands of years of being something much bigger, long coils that could easily crush the spire of Opera Epiclese. Now, when he looked at his own reflection, it was hard to comprehend that this small and ridiculous frame was actually him. In addition, all of his memories and instincts called him to be submerged in water. But even with his poor understanding of humans, he realized that seeing the Iudex floating in the river would alarm humans much more than him standing under the rain. So rain was the closest solution he could get at his position.

He summoned rain instinctively, to be as close to engulfed in water as possible. It was a bit embarrassing that even humans noticed it and composed a rhyme, even if that rhyme was inaccurate. He didn’t cry, as vishaps didn’t cry at all and even his current human shaped body didn’t have tear ducts. The closest he could pinpoint to human experience, as he understood it, was being stressed and desire to be comforted, for which water was his best remedy.

And currently he was quite stressed, looking over the Fontaine laws in an attempt to revise them. The current system that treated justice as theater was clearly imperfect, which he realized long ago. But he never saw himself as authorized to change it, as humans were the responsibility of the archon and even without it, he was well aware he didn’t understand humans, so he knew it wasn’t his place to question the human justice system, to which he was only a temporary guest. But now, as fontanias became part of Teyvat after his decision, and so, a part of his responsibility as Teyvat’s god of life, even if the usurper tried to deny him, he couldn’t ignore the need for change any longer. The problem was that he did not understand humans any better, so it was very stressful to try and restructure their systems of governance.

He extended a hand, catching raindrops on his palm, when he noticed a silhouette near the elevator to the Fortress, and stopped himself from visibly controlling the weather.

Wriothesley caught his eyes and grinned, approaching him at brisk pace, umbrella over his head.

“Greetings, Monsieur.”

“Good morning, Your Grace.”

Wriothesley always somehow managed to make a “Monsieur” sound more impactful than Neuvillette could “Your Grace”, despite one being a noble title and another just a polite greeting.

“Would you like to…?” Wriothesley extended his arm with an umbrella, without actually covering Neuvillette with it. In the past, as a part of playing a role of “normal human”, Neuvillette accepted such offers, though there were not many aside from Wriothesley who dared to approach him with it. But now, as he was a full-fledged dragon, at the height of his power and influence in this land, surely he could afford to discard this role? Surely he could afford to be himself at least in this?

“No, thank you,” he said, smiling and trying to sound as cordial as possible, so that Wriothesley would not think it was a slight against him personally. “Don’t take it as offense, but I actually like being under the rain.”

The Duke smiled back, shaking his head.

“No offense taken, but why didn’t you say it last time? I felt like an idiot forcing you under an umbrella.”

“Really?” Neuvillette perked up, falling in step with the human. “You could tell that I…”

“Hated it? Yeah, for sure.”

“....prefered not to have an umbrella.”

Wriothesley let out a low, guttural bark of laughter that somehow got to the dragon despite him not being interested in humans in general.

“Not only I could tell I disturbed you, but I had to walk on the flowerbed to get to you, and then I trailed dirt in the Palais while everyone here glared at me for the audacity. Meanwhile you walked on the same dirt, but stayed pristine!”

“I’m sorry for…”

“Hey, don’t apologize. I’m just kidding, don’t worry.”

Neuvillette met the greyish blue eyes of thawed ice directly and sensed that he was truly not bothered, which didn’t make much sense. But Wriothesley was one of the very few humans who was not scared in the dragon’s presence. He was, probably, the only one who emanated only positive emotions at their meetings. Neuvillette mostly encountered negative reactions in his daily life at the trials, so he could not tell apart which positive feelings exactly that he read from Wriothesley due to the lack of exposure. But perhaps…

“I wouldn’t want you to feel unwelcome at the Palais,” Neuvillette said after a short pause.

Wriothesley grinned with a careless shrug.

“Then I will be there, even if the rest of your bureaucrats make faces. As I said, don’t worry.”

Neuvilette frowned, but didn’t see much point in pressing this further. After a confrontation with Navia, the dragon realized that his lack of understanding of humans hindered him, instead of making him truly impartial. Especially now that he was de facto in charge of the entire Fontaine government. And practice showed that only direct interaction with humans could give valuable experience, as watching from the Iudex seat did not allow him a nuanced understanding.

So perhaps, if Wriothesley was a rare human who was not scared of him, and he proved rational and trustworthy in the years they knew each other, Neuvillette could confide in his true nature and maybe ask for advice in understanding humanity?

“Perhaps staying for some tea would make up for this past offense?”

Wriothesley stumbled for a moment.

“Seriously?” He sounded as casual and ironic as usual, but the surprised burst of positive emotions from him was bright and obvious. “After all these years you finally decided to deign my humble office with your presence?”

“It’d be a completely unofficial visit, of course.”

“Sure, sure. It was never my secret plot to bribe you with a tea party, trust me, even I realize my tea is not that good.”

His voice was ironic, but for a moment Neuvillette could see his crooked grin turn into a genuine smile. So, reassured that he was not imposing, Iudex nodded and followed the human into the Fortress’ entrance.

_________

The inspection itself was mostly a formality. The Court of Fontaine technically had no direct authority over Meripode, but it provided guards and substantial resources, and so it had a right to oversee the use of these assets. The actual budgeting was done on the regular in behind the scenes reports though, as the data was not visible in the in person visit. Still, it was a time honored tradition that got Neuvilette to show up regularly.

“Take a seat. It will take me a minute to make tea.”

Neuvilette gracefully sat down on the visitor’s chair In Wriothesley office, folding his hands on the cane. He still sat with a ramrod straight back and perfect posture, but there was a certain lightness to him today, which was hard to put into words.

“The inspection is over, yet you are still nervous.”

Wriothesley knew he had a poker face good enough to cover it, yet Neuvillette saw it anyway. He had theorized for a long time that the Iudex could sense emotions, but usually he would not acknowledge it directly like this. “I wasn't nervous about the inspection to begin with. But inviting a high and mighty Iudex himself to the tea for years and then disappointing him when he finally accepts would be a devastating faux de pas. They will mock me on the first pages of all the papers tomorrow.”

Neuvillette frowned slightly.

“I must underline that I’m not here in any official capacity, and I would hope I’m talking to Wriothesley, not the Warden or the Duke. If you agree, I would ask that we leave the titles at the door.”

“No, of course,” Wriothesley, who had fantasized about leaving titles at the door and then clothes on the floor for actual years, said quickly, frantically recalculating how he could turn the tea party to wine tasting, which best wines he had confiscated in his storage and how he could make turning on the gramophone and then maybe leaning against the edge of the table in front of Neuvillette look natural and smooth. “Absolutely. I was just joking anyway, don’t mind it.”

“Ah, I see. I apologize, I’m unfortunately prone to missing humorous intent, so I appreciate your clarification.”

With how far the Iudex went out of his way to assure people of his good intentions in informal situations, Wriothesley really didn’t understand how everyone found him so intimidating. Especially because he very often had to interact with assholes in positions of power who did try to intimidate him on purpose and the contrast was very apparent. Neuvillette projected an aura of power without really wanting to, and then tried to over-explain himself to make others feel at ease. His earnest awkwardness was something like the clumsiness of a huge beast like an elephant trying not to step on the gaggle of kittens at his feet.

“In any case, there is nothing to be nervous about. After all, tea is liquid, and it’s really hard to make liquids unpleasant. So far I think only Fonta truly managed it.” Neuvillette drummed his fingers on the table and glanced at Wriothesley. “To be frank, if crimes against water could be prosecuted, Fonta would receive life in prison.”

Wriothesley snorted. “So no sugar in your tea, I take it?”

“No, thank you,” Iudex said politely and then, after a short pause, “And to clarify, I was not serious. There is nothing wrong with people liking sugary drinks, of course. I was just making an attempt at a joke.”

He really was horrendously bad at pretending to be a human. How could anyone hear him talk and still believe he’s a scheming manipulator was beyond ridiculous.

“No, I got it. It was a good joke,” The Duke grinned, placing a teacup in front of Neuvillette and sitting down across the table with his own.

Neuvillette gave him a graceful nod with a little smile and picked up his cup, giving it a swirl before tasting.

“Hmm. Interesting. Poignant. Bitter,” he said thoughtfully, tilting his head.

Wriothesley was about to mention that this sort was not usually bitter, but Iudex continued.

“Not by nature, but forced by circumstances. Not nearly enough water to be nourished, so it had to adapt and conserve strength, letting leaves seen as unimportant to die and concentrate on survival of the main branches. But there is not just hunger… there is a dream of rain. An ache of something not ever known, but yearned, longed for, without realizing what it is. But then…” Neuvillette closed his eyes for a moment. “It happened. There is a memory of luminous joy of water not gathered by mere drops, but drank in full, overwhelming, a feast after a life of fighting for scraps of morning dew. It had tasted rain at least once in the end.”

Wriothesley put his own cup down, leaning forward in disbelief.

“No way. This was a harvest from a drought year and it’s normally a mild sort, considered unusually strong in this season. How could you know this? Are you cheating?”

“You’re welcome to test me with other samples,” Neuvillette said with an air of a magnanimous ruler granting a boon and put the teacup down with a delicate clink.

“Oh, I’m taking you up on your word, trust me,” the Duke grinned, but then paused. He didn’t want to spoil the mood, but he remembered how strongly Neuvillette felt about the perceived melusines conspiracy. Wriothesley had to tell him about the evil dragon idiots just to make sure he’s not thrown off balance later. That’s what the guard dogs are for, after all.

“Actually, before we move forward with testing your psychic tea reading abilities, there is something concerning official business that I think you should know. And then we can forget it completely.”

Neuvillette inclined his head with a small smile.

“There is a small group of conspirators, - and I must reiterate, it’s very small - who operate on the ridiculous idea that… uh, that you’re some kind of an evil dragon who schemed to overthrow Furina.”

Neuvillette's smile froze.

“You don’t have to worry about it, really. It’s negligibly small, and well, anyone with a working brain would not believe that you’re a monster in disguise.”

Iudex was silent for some time, not meeting Wriothesley’s eyes.

“Are melusines implicated in this?” he said finally.

“No. No, there’s no connection to them in this stupid theory.”

“Good. That's good. They do love living with humans so much.”

Wriothesley suspected that Iudex was taking things kind of out of proportion again.

“Listen, it’s really nothing…”

“No, no, I understand. It would be so unacceptably horrifying for humans to learn their ruler is a… monster.”

Neuvillette's voice wavered, but his face was impartial, strict, previous lightness gone completely. Wriothesley saw his hands tighten their grip on the handle of his cane a moment before he abruptly stood up.

“I must apologize for impropriety, but I have important business in the Palais which was inappropriate for me to neglect for so long. I must beg your leave to depart.”

Wriothesley stood up too, scraping to understand what he did wrong.

“Wait, it’s not…”

“Thank you for your time, Your Grace.”

Wriothesley shut his mouth, the title feeling like a slap for the first time in his life. The formality and politeness somehow only made it worse. He took a deep breath and willed himself to sound calm.

“I hope you have a nice evening, Monsieur Iudex.”

Neuvillette left in what for his usual dignified pace could be considered a hurry. Wriothesley followed him without being seen, partly to make sure he doesn’t get bothered by inmates and partly on an instinct to investigate.

At the Fortress’ entrance, he watched Neuvillette walk under the rain, lifting his head upward. The blue strands of his long hair glowed and so did his coat-tails. They extended, shining brilliant bioluminescent blue, trailing behind the Chief Justice, in a moment looking like fish’s fins, then the next - as colossal snake’s coils. Sea waves crashed against the ridge without any wind, rising high, reaching to a lonely glowing figure of Iudex. With bated breath, Wriothesley watched Neuvillette extend a hand, as if catching raindrops - and rain stopped mid-flight in the air, lingering over his palm, waves frozen cresting over the earth. The raindrops gathered in a shuddering spheres, and then stretched upwards, against all laws of gravity. Wriothesley’s heart skipped a beat as Neuvillette closed his fist and the rain flew backwards to the skies.

Wriothesley stormed back into his office and frantically searched through the reports, pages flying about, until he found the one about vishaps. He looked at the photos, seeing similarities he would never look for before. The dark blue color of vishap’s hide was nearly identical to Neuvillette’s attire, but that was small beans, easily written off as coincidence. Their eyes, bright magenta with white vertical slice of a pupil, resembled Iudex, but there was room for debate, as his eyes were much paler, lilac merging into gentle blue instead of a bright pink, even as white vertical pupil was so similar. What really struck Wriothesley after all this, was actually the little blue feather at the side of the head of both vishaps and Neuvillette. It was identical and looked so… deliberate. It had to be chosen and placed precisely like this.

Still, this was not enough. He needed more evidence. He needed… he needed answers.

He walked to Jacque's block as quickly as he could without alarming inmates, but when he got to the conspirator’s room, Jacque was sleeping on the bed and a man was sitting on the chair next to him, reading a book. He looked up when Wriothesley walked in and stood up, clumsily dropping the book. He was tall and gangly, had dark hair, Inazuman features and light brown eyes behind the glasses.

“Who are you?” Wriothesley was really not in the mood for playing games.

“Well, my organization caught wind that you are interested in learning some… historical information, and our poor Jacque is really not the best source, which is why I’m here to answer any questions you have,” the man gave him a groveling smile. “You can call me Enjou.”

“Not here. In my office. Follow me.”

When they got there, Enjou whistled musingly.

“Uh, what a nice office! Must be a pretty sweet gig. I wish I had an office instead of slinking in dump ruins all the time.” He sighed theatrically. “So, I assume your main questions are on the vishap situation. I…”

“Wait,” Wriothesley said, walking up to one of his wall cabinets. “You can’t expect me to just believe you on your word.”

“Oh, of course, of course! You’re free to rough me up a bit first. Maybe a little bit of torture? But only a little bit, I’ve got a glass jaw, haha!”

Wriothesley didn’t live so long as an undisputed champion of fight club to not recognize a freak who gets off on pain. He grimaced, walking up to the table where Enjou was already trying to rifle through the papers. He stopped with an apologetic grin and put his hands up. Wriothesley put a glass vial on the table.

“Drink.”

Enjou raised his eyebrows.

“Are we dining and wining first or?...”

“It’s a truth serum,” it was a secret project of the Sumeru Akademiya, before the sages were overthrown. Dendro Archon reportedly could read the thoughts of people, and sages were trying to replicate the effect at least partially. Wriothesley came into possession of it after using his network to get the sages connected to the needed people in Fontaine institute, as Fontaine was at the cutting edge of mech technology and the sages were apparently building an artificial god. Didn’t pan out for them, but the serum worked. Wriothesley was sure of it, because he tried it on himself first.

“Oh! How exciting! How does it work? Will it perhaps burn my insides in agonizing pain if I lie?”

“Drink,” Wriothesley said through gritted teeth.

Enjou smiled and drank the vial in one shot.

“Well, nothing is burning so far, but the evening is young, haha,” he said, smacking his lips.

Wriothesley took a deep breath.

“Why are you here?”

“Huh? What do you mean? To explain the history to you, as I said.”

“Because of the goodness of your heart? What’s your agenda? Your goal?”

Enhou cleared his throat.

“Well, first of all, I do believe in uncovering and spreading so-called “forbidden” knowledge. But with your particular case can you really question my agenda? I didn’t come to you first. You were the one who sought us out. I didn’t even want to be here! I was doing my own thing without knowing about you, to be honest! But, well, I am in an organization with some unfortunate morons who thought that recruiting a convenient idiot and then sending him into underworld prison to make sure he isn’t heard is a great plan. And then when the Warden takes note of the idiot and gets him to blabber, these same morons go, Enjou, you have to get there, because you’re a vishap expert! Ugh.”

Enjou shook his head in seemingly sincere frustration.

“But um, yeah, I’m not trying to recruit you or anything. We know how you’ve disposed of House of Hearth agents and how you generally obstruct Fatui’s activity, and we just don't want you to do the same to us. Because we’re not your enemy! So I’m here to provide you with the necessary context to see that.”

Wriothesley drummed his fingers on the table.

“Okay. Start talking about Neuvilette and vishaps.”

“Well, Neuvilette is a Hydro Dragon, that should be obvious. To clarify, Hydro Dragon here means Hydro Dragon Sovereign, because technically all hydro vishaps are hydro dragons. If you didn’t know, which is understandable, as you’re more of a fighter type and not a bookworm like myself, haha, vishaps are primordial elemental creatures, original rulers of this land and mortal foes of humanity. Long before Archons, there were Dragon Sovereigns in charge of each element. Then there was a war with Celestia, specifics of which are not widely known, but we do know that Celestia won, dragons were largely eradicated and the huge chunks of powers of Sovereigns were taken from them and given to the Archons. Hydro Sovereign was killed.”

Enjou made a dramatic pause, before leaning forward with a grin. “But you see, vishaps reincarnate. Neuvillette is a Hydro Sovereign reborn in a human shape. There was actually an Inazuman prophecy about it, recorded in the Byakuyakoku Collection. That Hydro Dragon will descend in a human form, and it specifically mentions a cane. This really baffles me, to be honest. How could they predict the cane? Why does he even need a cane? Surely not because of any weakness, he’s an immortal dragon, 500 years is very young for him. And the records say when Neuvilette took his position as the Iudex some 400 years ago, he already had a cane. Was he born with it? Like, had he sprung fully formed, with a cane? Did he pick it up as, I don't know, honorary agreement with a prophecy? Or were his fashion choices actually predetermined to the degree that the prophecy knew them millenia ago?”

“Get back on track,” Wriothesley growled.

“Oh, sorry. Hmm, this serum works by forcing you to spell your thoughts out loud, yes? Well, then it’s not my fault I’m even more blabbering than usual!”

Wriothesley clasped his hands together and said slowly, carefully watching Inazuman’s reaction. “Even if he is a hydro sovereign dragon, as you say, this alone does not make him evil, as your conspiracy claims.”

Enjou fixed his glasses. He really had the hands of a bookworm, no work calluses or fighting scars. But there were spots of reddened, peeling skin that looked like burns that didn’t get to fully heal before getting burned again.

“Did you miss the “mortal foe of humanity” bit? But okay, sure. This is Fontaine after all, presumption of innocence and all that. I mean, I can’t read his thoughts to tell you under oath that he’s evil, so don’t take me to court, hehe!” Enjou grinned, clearly pleased at his own joke. “But I can tell what I know and ask some questions. My first question is why, after losing a war and presumably being killed by Celestia, would an ancient dragon god want to serve a servant of Celestia? The Archon, who rules with what is actually his own power? Unless he had some sort of agenda, perhaps? And come to think of it, why would Hydro Archon put a mortal foe of humanity into a position of such institutional power?”

“Are you implying Neuvilette forced Furina to give him the position of Iudex?”

“Well, I wasn’t here!” Enjou raised his hands defensively. “But why else would he become the Iudex?”

“There are higher beings and gods serving archons in other nations. Like Liyue adepti serving Rex Lapis.”

“Morax was known as the prime of the adepti. None of them could compare with him at strength. Same with yokai and Baal in Inazuma, she was the strongest by far. It’s natural that they would accept servitude. But here…” Enjou glanced at Wriothesley with a sly smile. “If you had to make a bet on a direct fight between Neuvillette and Furina, who would you bet on? Come on, I know tales that her own court would not listen to her until the Iudex tapped his cane.”

Wriothesley couldn’t really argue with this. When the Primordial Sea started breaking out, he himself sent for Neuvillette and didn’t even think to ask the actual Archon.

“In that case, why didn’t he just kill her immediately? Why would he play the judge?”

“Well, you see, he would not get his power back from just killing her. It would just pass to the next Archon. No, the Hydro Archon had to destroy her own throne. And running out the ruler requires a long game, as you know very well yourself, You Grace.”

Wriothesley kept a calm face, but something must have given him away, as Enjou grinned predatorily.

“Next set of facts and questions. You know of the infamous Archon trial, of course? When it was revealed that fontanian people are actually oceanids, given human shape by the previous hydro archon, Egeria? And the prophecy of the flood works because Primordial Sea waters dissolve fontanians into their oceanid forms. Well, the flood actually came. Why were fontanians not dissolved?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me that.”

“Hehe, yes. It was because Neuvillette turned them into real humans with his powers of Hydro Sovereign. How generous of him, yeah? The question is, why did it take him so long? It’s been 500 years, and yet fontanians were made human only minutes before the flood.”

Despite a feeble bookworm posturing, there was a shadow of unhinged madness in his eyes, dangerous enough that in any other case Wriothesley would cut contact. But the stakes were too high right now. He needed to get all the information he could out of this lunatic.

“You might also remember that on the same trial it was proven that Furina is not a Hydro Archon. And I can tell you that the actual Archon, Focalors, was in the Oracle machine the whole time. Sorry, I’m not even trying to pronounce that full name, haha!”

The urge to punch this bastard was overwhelming, but Wriothesley kept himself in check, mostly because he could tell he was being baited into it and he didn’t want to give the piece of shit the satisfaction.

“Anyway, Neuvilette had an audience with her right after a trial, and as result she killed herself and gave him power back. You see, Hydro Archon doesn’t have the ability to turn oceanids into real humans. All of you were just… things, playing at being humans,” Enjou said with a smirk that looked more fascinated than mocking. “But Hydro Sovereign, the original god of life, does have the power to do so. And he also, conveniently, has control over the Primordial Sea, which you, Your Grace, already know as he stopped the flood in your own Fortress.”

Wriothesley raised an eyebrow and Enjou smiled with a shrug.

“Again, I was not there! But I do know Hydro Sovereign controls the Primordial Sea, and that there is an entrance to the Sea in the Meripode Fortress. I also know that there was some emergency in the Fortress, where inmates were told to run as close to the surface as possible, and then Monsieur Iudex visited and the disaster was somehow avoided.”

Wriothesley frowned.

“If he was really a mortal enemy of humanity, why wouldn’t he just let the gates of Meripode break and the flood happen right there and then? We would all be gone and he wouldn’t need to lift a finger. Instead he ran to help when I… when the Fortress called.”

“And what would that achieve? He still wouldn’t get his power back,” Enjou shrugged dismissively and then smiled, almost wistfully.

“No, you know what I would do if *I* was the Hydro Sovereign with an ability to take human form? And if the Archon who held my power hostage was relatively weak AND had the prophecy involving a flood of the Sea I control? Well, I’d infiltrate human society, take a position of high authority and make sure the humans not only see me as the personification of law and justice, but also respect me more than their own Archon. And when the prophecy deadline is coming up, I’d make sure I have people loyal to me in some key positions. Such as Royal Duelist… and the Warden of the Fortress.”

“He didn’t make me the Warden,” Wriothesley gritted out.

“No, but he did make you the Duke, didn’t he?” Enjou smirked with a wink. “Our sources say the Court was not thrilled to give the highest noble title to you. And if the Iudex did not throw his own weight behind it, it would have never come to pass. How generous of him.”

It was true, Wriothesley’s own informants reported that the Court loathed to give him a title, let alone as high as the Duke. Neuvillette was the only one who fought for him and fought hard, because usually Iudex’s one word was enough to make a decision, but here the stalemate lasted for two months. They wanted to compromise and give him the viscount, but Iudex wouldn’t budge, so in the end, they caved.

Wriothesley never asked Neuvillette for the title. Neuvillette never mentioned what he did for the Warden and never dropped anything even as close as a hint of asking anything in return.

Unless you see it as a part of centuries long game, where mundane favors didn’t matter, but being called first to the access of the Primordial Sea did.

“Ah, you’re starting to get it, don’t you?” Enjou sensed blood in the water, like a proper shark would. “Then I would orchestrate a public court hearing to absolutely discredit the current ruler and corner the actual Archon. And when Focalors is forced to talk to me…. I would make a bargain. Saving the lives of all fontanians in exchange of getting my full power back and Focalors dying. Isn't it ironic that the dragon playing human was the one to turn human-shaped water things into actual humans?"

Enjou leaned back against his chair, grinning with satisfaction.

“And then I’d have an entire country loyal to me as a ruler, which would make a great foothold to use for attacking Celestia.”

Wriothesley took a deep breath.

“You really expect me to take you on your word? You might believe it yourself, which will pass the truth serum, but the word of a lunatic is not evidence.”

“Oh, of course not! I would never expect you to take my lowly word for it. Instead, why don’t you take Monsieur Iudex’s word?”

Enjou made a dramatic gesture of spilling a heap of conches onto the table. Wriothesley raised his eyebrows, when the other man poked one of them awkwardly.

“Now that I have reclaimed one of the Seven Authorities from the hands of the usurpers, I have regained my true form,” a calm voice that was undoubtedly Neuvillette, said out of nowhere. “I am now a fully fledged dragon, powerful enough to judge the rest of the gods. My final destiny is to judge the Usurper-King in the heavens above.”

“This could be faked,” Wriothesley said automatically, just to argue, but his heart already fell.

“You wound me! These are his words, and I spent an entire night fishing them out for you, I’ll have you know. It’s quite hard to capture this. You’re welcome to listen to all of them and see for yourself.”

Almost against his will, Wriothesley reached out and touched one of the conches.

“…I shall fulfill my vow to judge all of The Seven in turn, even if the sky should fall and the ground give way.”

Wriothesley took an abrupt breath through his teeth. Enjou sighed and stood up.

“I think it’s better for you to listen to this alone. After, you’re welcome to reach out to us, but please don’t make any hasty decisions. I’ll see you soon, Your Grace!”

Enjou walked down the stairs, and by the time Wriothesley got to them, there was no one there. The Duke couldn’t bring himself to focus on that though. Instead, he walked up to one of the wall cabinets and took out a bottle of whiskey he was saving up as a possible gift.

He didn’t bother with the glass. He fell down into the chair in front of the conches and clenched his fingers on the bottle, icy veins springing up from under them. He took a sip and touched another conch.

“…my grievances with the usurpers have yet to be settled... They owe a debt of blood that shall not be forgotten.”

He drank, staring blindly into the distance, and listened, and the quiet words burned worse than whiskey sliding down his throat. He caught himself on a familiar thought. “This can’t be happening. This is too monstrous.” The same feverish thoughts he had when he discovered the truth about his foster parents.

As if by now he shouldn’t have learned that nothing is too monstrous in this world.

“As a survivor of the dragon race who has regained my full dragonhood, I must fulfill my oath and obligations even if it means returning all the water in the oceans back to the heavens.”

It really did sound exactly like Neuvillette. Wriothesley tried to find the lie, something that sounded fake, but not only the voice, but the cadence and word choice fit. And it sounded calm, impartial as usual too. And then there were hydro vishaps appearing in Erinnyes…

Fuck, was it really that easy to fool him? Was he really this big of a fool? He learned to distrust sweet words and warm smiles, and he was so sure that he wouldn’t get caught in the same lies ever again, even if he sacrificed his ability to love for this. But all it took was a seeming opposite, direct and harsh, too cold and intimidating to appear manipulative, but endearingly awkward just sometimes, just enough to make him believe that… That there was something true and clear in this rotten world. That he could trust in *someone*.

“Nothing will stop me from rendering judgment on each of The Seven.”

He went through all of the recordings, frantically at first, wanting to find contradictions, then, when none were found, numbly re-listening to the few that hit the worst.

“…also the destroyer of the present order, the one who shall judge all gods, and the foe of humanity. “

Wasn’t it too obvious in hindsight? Why would the Iudex stake his own reputation on Wriothesley’s title? How could you not see it coming? Oh, because you thought you “deserve” it for turning this dog-fighting pit of a prison into something with a modicum of fairness? Because you thought he recognized your redemption? Gods, what are you, fucking fourteen again, did you learn nothing, why would anyone ever care about you, you naive goddamn idiot?

Soon, the bottle was somehow almost done. At this point he was running one recording on repeat, mindless and purposeless except for repeating slashes of pain, familiar rhythm like the knife on his wrists years ago.

"Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, don't cry." Whoever had penned that rhyme, as well as the Fontainians who came to believe in it, must not have known the Hydro Dragon all that well, considering that they thought the Hydro Dragon could cry. What did they take said Dragon for, some sort of bleeding heart who grieved for humans and the heavens alike?”

If this was true… If this was true, then Wriothesley didn’t just get fooled himself. Then he helped a monster take control of the country and potentially use it in war against heavens.

He clenched his hand and it took him a moment to realize he broke the bottle he was holding in it. That pain from glass pieces in his palm felt small and distant now. But at last, it spurned him into action.

If this was true, he only had one shot. He’d already told Neuvillette of the dragon conspiracy, like a good little idiot eager to please. And any tyrant worth his salt would make sure to take him out after his, especially now that he outlived his purpose in giving access to Meripode vaults. He might have some time because of how oblivious he was, dismissing the conspiracy openly, but it couldn’t be long.

He couldn’t take his time. He couldn’t hope for the better. He had to act like it’s the worst option possible. More than anything, he needed to confront Neuvillette, dragon Sovereign or not. He had to fix this, no matter the cost.

He realized he needed leverage. Brute strength was out of the question. Even before the flood, Neuvillette absolutely destroyed Fatui Harbinger in one flash, quicker than anyone in the audience could see what happened. Wriothesley would put himself against Harbringer with no hesitation, but he wasn’t an idiot. If this was how powerful Iudex was before, then after allegedly gaining his full power, there was no way Wriothesley could threaten him. No, he needed something else.

He took out the paper and wrote a note, taking care to not stain it with blood. Fortunately, he held the bottle in his left hand, so he could keep it out of the way.

“....and so confess that I, Wriothesley, Warden of the Fortress of Meripode, killed Chief Justice, Iudex Neuvillette.”

He finished the note and carefully put in his signature, then folded the paper into an envelope and closed it with his personal seal. Then he walked up to a safe, one of the hidden ones, and punched in a code. When the safe opened, he rummaged in it for a moment, until finally taking out two vials.

This was sold to him as the poison that could kill a god.

#rhine writes #rhine writes light #neuvillette #wriothesley #wriolette #genshin impact #enjou #i had a lot of fun with enjou here #anyway let me know what you guys think

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fancyshooting · 9 months

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"YOU SEE THAT IN THE MOVIES?"

In the original release of MGS3, Para-Medic would talk about one of 39 different movies when the game was saved. Two of these were westerns. Copycat Ocelot models himself after the on-screen cowboys that appeared in the movies he was so obsessed with, emulating their shooting styles, dressing in Old West inspired outfits and at one point even adopting a stereotypical twang while speaking English. The concept of his character came about due to Kojima's love of Django (1966). His original design was inspired by the actor, Lee Van Cleef, renowned for his performance in the iconic "Dollars" trilogy. Being able to shoot his beret off during his boss battle in MGS3 is almost certainly a reference to a scene from For A Few Dollars More (1965). That same boss battle has tumbleweeds rolling, dust blowing and the option to engage in a standoff with him. He uses revolvers, engraved and otherwise. His gloves! His spurs! His horse! His moustache! "Draw"! There's so much about him that it doesn't need to be explained - Ocelot is THE cowboy character. The westerns Para-Medic mentions were no doubt chosen with him in mind.

1. A Fistful of Dollars (1964)

Para-Medic: "Snake, have you ever seen 'For a Fistful of Dollars'?"

Snake: "Nope, never."

Para-Medic: "It's a spaghetti western."

Snake: "Spaghetti western?"

Para-Medic "It's really cool. Especially the main character's stylish gunplay."

Snake: "Gunplay..."

Para-Medic: "I saw it in England on the major's recommendation, but it hasn't come out in the States yet. It's so cool! They'll bring it to America, I'm sure. You have to see it sometime."

Snake: "Sure."

This is the first movie in the Dollars trilogy (The third is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, which is decidedly more popular but its inclusion would've been anachronistic as all the movies featured in MGS3 were released in or before the year 1964). Cultural significance is not the only reason for this selection. The protagonist, The Man With No Name - or "Joe" as he is referred to by the locals - is a drifter and skilled gunfighter who wanders into a small town dominated by two corrupt rival families. Without reciting the entire plot, Joe remains loyal only to himself and exploits both families in order to turn a profit. He assists, endangers and kills people of either allegiance. Making money isn't Ocelot's ultimate goal but he is, of course, infamous for his treachery, suspicious even to characters in the games. Joe is described as being uncomfortably intelligent for a hired grunt, much like Ocelot, whose preferred approach is to act as a simple stooge, feigning ignorance to his bosses, all the while observing and devising schemes to enact his secret plans.

In the end, Joe outsmarts and outlives the two families, having played a role in the downfall of them both. It's important to note that the town sheriff being a member of one of the families does not (in true cowboy fashion) sway Joe's decisions. Ocelot is similar in that he will not bow to authority simply because they wear a badge or have a title. Joe also seems to only trouble the people who "deserve it" - he sees the corrupt families as fair game, but shows no malice towards anyone else. In fact, he takes a risk and goes out of his way to reunite a captive woman with her family, which could be called noble. Ocelot considers himself noble (In MGSV, for example - "Assuming they see [Quiet] as a prisoner here, no, even more so if they do, she deserves to be treated humanely. I always thought our men were a bit more noble-minded".) and although he can be cruel, it seems to be reserved for those who, again, "deserve it", as in, they're already operating in a military environment. Every character Ocelot kills is either a war profiteer, a military operative or is corrupt in some way. In MGSV, he laments the effects of war on civilians and shares Big Boss' sentiment of, "You pick up a gun, and sooner or later you're going to hell". Ocelot describes the Venom Snake project as "a detour on [Venom's] journey to Hell". Venom is a man Ocelot must surely respect for protecting Big Boss but he still recognises him as a soldier. Not to say that Ocelot a good person but he is aware of the harm that he and those he encounters in the military and intelligence spheres inflict by engaging in direct combat and inciting violence through manipulation that results in prolonged conflict. He speaks mournfully about the cycle of vengeance that he and those like him feed into. Still, he finds it fulfilling because that's the life he was prepared for. For him, there is no alternative.

Anyway, Joe also uses a Colt .45 ("the greatest handgun ever made"), even against the main antagonist, who claims that a man with a rifle will always beat a man with a pistol. The antagonist's signature killing style is to aim for the heart, which is what Ocelot does in MGS2. There's also torture in this movie. And a cat.

2. The Magnificent Seven (1960)

Para-Medic: "Snake, have you seen 'The Magnificent Seven'?"

Snake: "Sorry."

Para-Medic: "It's a remake of the Japanese classic, 'The Seven Samurai', only in a western setting. This tiny Mexican village is attacked every year by bandits. Finally, the village elder can't stand it any longer and decides to hire someone to protect the village. Seven gunmen respond to the call. They teach the villagers how to shoot and prepare for the oncoming attack. But then, the enemy shows up at the village with a huge band."

Snake: "Then what happens?"

Para-Medic: "You'll just have to see it for yourself. I don't want to spoil it."

Snake: "...Oh."

Para-Medic: "Movies are only fun when you actually watch them. They're something you have to experience for yourself."

In this movie, the main character, Chris, rounds up six other gunfighters to help protect a farming village that is regularly ravaged by bandits. Major Ocelot is EXTREMELY reminiscent of Chico, the youngest of the seven. After witnessing Chris' impressive skills, Chico is amazed and becomes desperate to be recruited by Chris. As Chris searches for suitable candidates, Chico persists in following the growing gang around, even after becoming infuriated by what he perceives as a ridiculous, childish game (link to scene - the way he flounces off reminds me SO much of the scene where The Boss disassembles Ocelot's gun - "very young and very proud"!). Young Ocelot is just like Chico in that he is an inexperienced, volatile young man who is eager to impress someone he idolises. Snake and Chris both act as older role models who teach the rookies to temper their pride in order to become a better soldier/gunfighter.

This movie script excerpt shows Chico's youthful naivety, as well as the likely reason Ocelot is so fond of westerns:

Chico: "Villages like this, they make up a song about every big thing that happens. Sing them for years."

Chris Adams: "You think it's worth it?"

Chico: "Don't you?"

Chris Adams: "It's only a matter of knowing how to shoot a gun. Nothing big about that."

Chico: "Hey. How can you talk like this? Your gun has got you everything you have. Isn't that true? Hmm? Well, isn't that true?"

Vin: "Yeah, sure. Everything. After a while you can call bartenders and faro dealers by their first name - maybe two hundred of 'em! Rented rooms you live in - five hundred! Meals you eat in hash houses - a thousand! Home - none! Wife - none! Kids... none! Prospects - zero. Suppose I left anything out?"

Chris Adams: "Yeah. Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none."

Lee: "Insults swallowed - none. Enemies - none."

Chris Adams: "No enemies?"

Lee: "Alive."

Chico: "Well. This is the kind of arithmetic I like."

Chris Adams: "Yeah. So did I at your age."

Here, Chico is primarily concerned with the glory of being a gunfighter, whereas the older men who have actually lived that life have a bleaker perspective. Young Ocelot also values his reputation, pridefully reminding the KGB soldiers at Rassvet: "That's Major Ocelot to you - and don't you forget it!"

The arrogance of youth puts Ocelot in danger more than once. Snake spares him after every encounter, explaining to EVA that Ocelot is "still young". Over the radio, Snake says that he doesn't think Ocelot is "any older than 18 or 19", which is younger than his actual age of 20. Snake is 29 in MGS3, whereas Ocelot has only been out of his teenage years for a few months. A nine-year gap at that age is massive in terms of maturity, which is why Snake assumes Ocelot is still just a teenager. In the MGS3 novel, it seems the devious aspect of Ocelot's character is toned down, with more of a focus on how immature he is instead. His youth is mentioned at every opportunity and his admiration for Snake surviving Volgin's torture is described as "naive". Like in the game, his emotions often get the better of him which could be seen as quite childish too, as could the way he looks for guidance and approval (checking his unit are laughing along with him, ditching the engraved revolver because Snake mocked it, etc.). One of his super cool and necessary gun juggling moments is even compared to a traditional Japanese children's game called "otedama" where beanbags are tossed and juggled - a literal child's game. Snake looks on Ocelot as The Boss looks on Snake: young, inexperienced and naive. This relationship connects Snake and Ocelot through The Boss: Ocelot is her biological son, Snake her spiritual son. The Boss was Snake's mentor, and he became Ocelot's.

These lines sum up the most likely reason for Ocelot's love of westerns:

"Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none."

That kind of freedom is probably something that Ocelot, raised to be a tool by the Philosophers, has desired since a very young age. Watching westerns might have inspired some kind of hope that he could have that agency over his life one day, too.

There's also a scene where Chico infiltrates the enemy camp and returns with information, an act he later brags about. Ocelot is too cautious to brag about being a spy but he does have a high opinion of himself (on the surface). Chico makes a speech in the village, ringing a bell to demand everyone's attention, a grandiose display that matches Ocelot's cockiness and dramatic gestures. While alone in the woods, Chico encounters a docile bull and tries to play bullfighter with it ("Toro! Toro! Toro!" It doesn't respond.). He kisses his hand and places it on the bull, transferring the kiss indirectly as a symbol of his harmless intent. It's another example of the light-hearted playfulness that might be expected from a young person. Considering Ocelot's fondness for animals (particularly the markhor) and tendency to be playful, it's not difficult to imagine him acting in the same way.

3. Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957)

Para-Medic: "Hey, Snake. Ever seen Gunfight At The OK Corral?"

Snake: "No, I haven't."

Para-Medic: "It's a color western about a showdown between Wyatt Earp and the Clantons in Tombstone. I was touched by the friendship between Wyatt Earp, the lawman, and Doc Holliday, the man whose life he saved."

Snake: "Was it an American that Wyatt Earp had? I thought it might have been a Peacemaker."

Para-Medic: "What are you talking about?"

Snake: "Nothing. I was just thinking about the Single Action Army Ocelot-"

Para-Medic: "Snake. He's not Kirk Douglas."

Snake: "I know that."

This movie was only added to the 3DS version of MGS3 in 2012, so the main MGS story had already come to an end four years earlier in MGS4. Ocelot's life was over and his motivations were clear. As EVA says: he idolised Big Boss.

In this call, Para-Medic says to Snake, "[Ocelot's] not Kirk Douglas." Kirk Douglas plays Doc Holliday, making Snake Wyatt Earp. These are real-life historical figures but the following is solely based on the depictions of them in this movie.

Wyatt Earp is a virtuous lawman who crosses paths with crooked (but strangely refined) gambler, gunfighter and former dentist, Doc Holliday. Through circumstance and debt, they save each other's lives and develop a familiarity with other. Their friendship is unusual considering they operate on either side of the law. Similarly, Snake and Ocelot form a bond despite their opposing allegiances. Snake spares Ocelot's life multiple times and also saves him from falling debris during the motorcycle chase in MGS3. In the novel, Ocelot concludes that every instance of him and Snake evading death at each other's hands is fate. In the game, the only time Ocelot is "allowed" to shoot Snake is when his gun is loaded with a blank.

Doc becomes somewhat distracted by Earp, even to the point of arousing jealousy in his former brothel worker girlfriend. Both she and Doc are broadly considered to be socially undesirable. He tells her plainly that people like them "haven't mattered since the day [they] were born". Doc also expresses indifference when warned that he might be killed if he confronts another character (played by Lee Van Cleef!) who is hostile to him:

Bartender: "You act as if you want to get killed."

Doc Holliday: "Maybe I do."

He later tells Earp he would prefer to die in a gunfight rather than waste away "little by little".

Ocelot was always thrilled by combat. He refused to shuffle off and succumb to illness or allow old age to snuff him out. He found fulfilment in the brutal fistfight immediately before his death at age 70. It held great meaning for him to fight with an opponent he respected in the image of an aged Big Boss.

Like Doc Holliday, Ocelot holds himself in low regard, which is referenced in the MGS4 novel with the line about his "insignificant personality" and he certainly believes himself to be disposable given the damage he voluntarily inflicts on his mind. Ocelot does not value himself as an individual and instead lives his life devoted to Big Boss and his ideals.

Doc repeatedly refers to Earl as "preacher" which is again reminiscent of the relationship between Ocelot and Snake. Before Operation Snake Eater, Snake idolised his mentor, The Boss, who became elevated to something of a sacred figure after her death. Snake is The Boss' spiritual successor and acts as Ocelot's mentor. Ocelot respects and reveres him, and in MGSV, helps to further cement Big Boss as a battlefield legend, granting him an almost supernatural status akin to The Boss'. In the Japanese script for MGS3, Snake's initial advice to Ocelot is described as "preaching" and Para-Medic later calls it a "sermon".

Until that moment at Rassvet, Ocelot obeyed but likely didn't respect many people in his life. The Philosophers, who abducted him as a baby, raised him as a tool to carry out their orders. As a teenager, he is stationed at Groznyj Grad where his only role model is the sadistic Colonel Volgin, who rules his men with fear. Ocelot has never been allowed input into the direction of his life. He has never known his parents, never had stability and is obsessed with westerns, indicating that he longs for freedom. Snake encouraging him to use revolvers is hugely significant for Ocelot. Snake's advice to switch from modern standard gear to an outdated weapon is actually a recognition of Ocelot as an individual, something that he has likely never experienced. As a child of the Philosophers, he has been trained since birth to deceive and suppress his true emotions in order to make him a more effective spy. The revolver suits Ocelot's style and brings him genuine fulfilment, even though it's tactically obsolete. He was already wearing spurs at Rassvet and was able to procure at least three revolvers within a week. If he was interested in westerns and had easy access to revolvers, the fact that he wasn't suggests that he was suppressing part of his individuality. Ocelot looks up to Snake as a guiding figure after this.

Eventually, Doc falls deathly ill and becomes bedbound. Miserable in his weakened state, he learns that Earp's brother has been killed. On the day of the fight, he becomes invigorated and by sheer force of will, sets out to join Earp and his other brothers in avenging their sibling. He says, "If I'm going to die, at least let me die with the only friend I ever had."

Ocelot constantly risked his life for Big Boss and eventually died for him after the distinct impact of his words in 1964. He pushed the young Ocelot towards true freedom and helped him shape what little personal identity he had. He irreversibly changed the course of his life. No other person or organisation could ever do what Big Boss did for Ocelot and so were undeserving of his loyalty. Doc fighting alongside the Earp brothers is indicative of his relationship with Wyatt being so strong that it approaches the familal. Ocelot is first introduced in MGS1 as one of the "Sons of Big Boss" and then, after grafting Liquid Snake's forearm onto his elbow, can be partially described as a literal "son", which is explained in the MGS4 novel:

"He had been born an ocelot but was now—even if only in fiction—a snake. That might have been what he had always desired—to be the son of the warrior whom he respected more than anyone else."

The dynamic between Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday is similar to Snake and Ocelot in that their friendship is unexpected, strong and has elements of admiration and devotion. Earp is dedicated to his duty and inspires a loyalty in the notoriously devious Doc after displaying genuine decency and treating him fairly despite his reputation, a decision criticised by other characters. Snake plays a similar role for Ocelot throughout MGS3, where he consistently shows strength of character, skill and devotion to duty, even in extreme circumstances. Snake is also able to see past any prejudice he might be expected to have towards Ocelot as an enemy operative and reaches him on a personal level. Their budding friendship, like Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday's, is questioned by their respective associates and colleagues.

Doc's character shares multiple traits with the many iterations of Ocelot as he appears across the series: he is refined, duplicitous, cynical, a loner and a remarkable gunfighter. Wyatt Earp also says this to him:

"I hear you did some pretty fancy shooting, Doc."

The influence of all three westerns mentioned in MGS3 on Ocelot's character is clear: A Fistful of Dollars typified the shrewd cunning he is known for; The Magnificent Seven demonstrated his youthful pride and idolisation; and Gunfight At The OK Corral evoked the strong friendship and devotion that defined his life.

#metal gear solid #mgs #revolver ocelot #writing #these are all essential viewing for aspiring ocelot understanders

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britcision · 1 year

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Alright I think I’ve seen a couple smaller versions of this in bits and pieces so if you have them please share, but I figured that as someone familiar with neither show initially I’m in a good position to do a DPxDC onboarding post!

Since neither source material is particularly helpful in understanding the madness we have created, here is what I consider important to know for each (please add in with anything I miss!)

Danny Phantom (DP)

Main Characters

Danny Fenton - is a Phantom. Died as a teenager by accidentally activating his parents’ portal to the Ghost Zone/Infinite Realms but was also revived, becoming a half ghost half human (halfa)

Is the only superhero in Amity Park, fighting ghosts and sometimes ghost hunters to keep humans safe from ghosts and ghosts safe from humans

Has beaten the Ghost King in single combat, and is therefore sometimes considered to be the new Ghost King

Jazz (Jasmine) Fenton - Danny’s older sister, basically his parent, very into psychology and very against the influence their actual parents have had on Danny due to their obsession with ghosts

May/may not know about Phantom, usually considered the Mom Friend of Team Phantom whether she knows or not

Jack Fenton - Danny’s dad, 6’9 koolaid man, loves ham and fudge and breaking through walls instead of the door beside him. A very bad shot but extremely enthusiastic in that 90s dad cartoon way

Prone to believe absolutely anybody but Danny is a ghost, especially when Danny does ghost things in proximity

Extremely intent on the destruction of all ghosts, convinced they do not have actual feelings and should be destroyed pre Phantom reveal. Afterwards, can be either accepting or homicidal towards Danny

Maddie Fenton - Danny’s mom, ridiculous kung fu warrior and engineer, madly in love with Jack and they are sickeningly cute all times except Christmas

Sometimes notices they have kids that need caring for, sometimes curbs Jack’s wilder impulses, she’s the brains of the team

Same ghost views as Jack, but she’s more perceptive and intelligent, which can be used for good or evil

Tucker Foley - Danny’s best friend, likes meat and technology and arguing with Sam

A Black young man with a signature red beret and PDA in the OG show, usually acknowledged to be on par with the bats’ technical skills as he’s an incredible hacker

Danny’s Guy In The Chair, but he will get out of his chair and throw down as needed

Sam Manson - Danny’s Obligatory 90s Cartoon Love Interest, goth and ultra-recyclo-vegetarian child of millionaires who will not be stopped in her crusade for justice

She’s the one who dared Danny to go into the portal that killed him, the guilt she carries for this varies

She is in combat as much as her humanity allows, but also in a support role most of the time

Dash Baxter - Danny’s Obligatory 90s Cartoon Bully, the usual blond beefy jock. Can be surprisingly sensitive and intelligent, probably from being tutored by Jazz

[ETA] Valerie Gray - former antihero with a grudge against ghosts (her dad lost his job because of Cujo), she was given an anti ghost suit by Vlad and worked for him to fight ghosts until learning he is a half ghost

Canon never names her alter ego but we call her Red Huntress, she’s hot headed and impulsive and absolutely dated Danny while trying to murder Phantom - Danny knew the whole time but she did not

She is also Black

Wes Weston - Does Not Exist In Canon. We made him up because Danny had a bracelet that was supposed to say Sam but was shown backwards all episodes so it just says Wes

Knows that Danny is Phantom, INTENT on telling absolutely everyone, and is never believed

Vlad Masters/Plasmius - the only older halfa in the show, and one of Danny’s main villains. A billionaire who went to college with the Fenton parents and was slowly killed after exposure to the first trial portal

Blames Jack for his exposure and is obsessed with stealing Maddie from him and marrying her himself as he believes should have always happened

Her opinion does not factor into this, and she largely treats him with disdain but tempered for her husband, who adores Vlad unequivocally

Dani/Ellie Masters - a girl clone of Danny made by Vlad, the only clone who survived melting into goo. Vlad raised her to try and kill Danny so he could perfect a different boy clone, and kept her isolated

Now that she’s met Danny and been stabilised by him, they are siblings/cousins/besties but she can’t stay in one place, because she wants to experience the whole world

Frostbite - King of the Far Frozen, which is part of the Ghost Zone full of ice. He’s a yeti, and has the zone’s only functional medical facility

Reveres Danny as the Great One, Saviour of the Ghost Zone, and taught him how to use his ice powers

Clockwork - Master of Time, tends to show up in a purple hooded robe with a clock around his neck and rapidly cycle through ages and speak in riddles

Sometimes communicates by leaving green stick notes on things, but never with a direct answer. Considered Danny’s mentor and sends Danny on adventures through time to preserve the time stream

Notably involved in the whole Dan Phantom fiasco

Dan Phantom - an older version of Danny from the future where Danny’s ghost half was removed from his human half, stole Vlad’s ghost half, and destroyed the world because Danny’s whole family and friends were killed in front of him

They were all together to be killed as part of an intervention when Danny was caught cheating on a test. This gives Danny understandable issues about how easily he could go bad and destroy the world

Skulker - an early recurring baddie who is a Kraven the Hunter knockoff, considers himself the Ghost Zone’s best hunter and wants Danny’s pelt for his wall

Actually a tiny little guy inside the helmet of a big mechanised suit, rarely a serious threat

Ember - a young ghost musician who can hypnotise people with her music, craves an audience and another early recurring villain

Dates Skulker I guess

Johnny 13 and Shadow - ghost biker boy and his sentient shadow familiar, dated Danny at some point, but in a permanent ongoing relationship with Kitty

They usually only cause trouble when they fight, break up, wreak havoc, and then eventually get back together

Kitty - once Overshadowed Paulina the generic Pretty Girl to date Danny to get back at Johnny for their break up

She wanted to be a lawyer before she and Johnny were killed in a wreck, sometimes implied to have been caused on purpose by her father

She and Johnny are often Danny’s allies, against other ghosts if necessary

[ETA] Cujo - ghost puppy, very playful and usually about beagle size, but he can grow or shrink at will into a terrifying house sized attack dog. He can make portals so no, you are never safe from Cujo

[ETA] Wulf - werewolf ghost and friend of Danny’s who can also create his own natural portals. He wears pants

Important Terms

Core - a small glowing orb that houses all a ghost’s memories, thoughts, emotions, and vital organs. Can correspond to an element, granting elemental powers after some intense ghost puberty

Requires ectoplasm to form and be maintained but does not exist in canon

Obsession - ghosts are powered by their emotions at death and an Obsession, usually what makes them become a ghost instead of passing on in the first place - does not exist in canon

Danny’s Obsession is usually Protection, Space, or both

Vlad’s Obsession is Maddie, and acquiring Danny as a son once he learns Danny is a halfa too

Dani’s Obsession is Travel

Halfa - half a ghost, half a human, with the ability to transform between human and ghost forms (usually characterised as a colour inversion of hair and clothes)

Powers are basically Everything That Would Be Funny, because it’s a Saturday morning cartoon

Vlad’s specifically include electrocution, duplicating up to thousands of himself, invisibility, intangibility, hand lasers, super strength, healing, and mind control

Danny’s include ice, strength, bendy noodle body, put self in video game, hand lasers, heat vision, ghostly wail (big ol sonic scream, bad for the throat), duplication, teleportation, and literally anything else that was fun for the episode in question

All ghosts seem to get invisibility, intangibility, flight, telekinesis, and ectobeams (lasers from various body parts)

Overshadowing - similar to possession, when a ghost takes over someone else’s body, gaining access to core memories if they look

Sometimes different from possession specifically and considered less invasive, but still invasive. Danny does not like doing this

[ETA] Anti Ecto Acts - a series of laws signed into existence to declare all ectoplasmic entities as nonsentient creatures, able to be experimented on or destroyed at will

Referenced literally once in canon in a single line that basically says “you are under arrest for being a ghost” - after Danny is outed as a halfa, we have obviously extrapolated it into the worst thing possible

Canon calls them Anti-Ecto Control Acts

[ETA] GIW - Guys in White or the Ghost Investigation Ward, they’re literally a colour reversed Men in Black joke to have a government agency that focuses on ghosts

They don’t care about collateral damage and will blow anyone up on their way ghost hunting

DC (Disregard Canon apparently)

Main Characters

Listen I’m not doing all of them so HOEDOWN STYLE I GUESS

Alfred Pennyworth - best Batman character, super butler, makes the best cookies

Bruce Wayne - Batman, may/may not be good batdad

Dick Grayson - Robin 1, responsible for pantsless Robin and excessive flips, grows up to be Nightwing

Jason Todd - fandom woobie, Robin 2, tried to steal the tires off the Batmobile and hit Bruce with a tire iron, killed by Joker, came back evil and thicc as Red Hood and nearly killed Robin 3

Has the Bad Juice in him cuz of being brought back from the dead so he has Pit Rage, which most people apparently only get for a little bit and then either die or go permanently insane

Tim Drake - Robin 3, abandoned rich kid who blackmailed Bruce into letting him be Robin after Jason died, because Jason was his hero and Tim thinks Batman needs a Robin to stay sane. He’s right, but was Robin-fired basically as soon as Damian showed up, is Red Robin now

Never sleeps, overcaffeinated at all times, a better detective than Bruce and a supervillain in basically every AU

Used to be bi but is legally gay now apparently

Stephanie Brown - girl Robin, far superior as Spoiler and Bat Girl, sassy bitch who tells Bruce to fuck off the most of all the Robins ever and this is an Achievement she must fight for constantly but always wins

Cassandra Cain - assassin baby of Lady Shiva, not taught to talk by her dad cuz he sucks, semi- or nonverbal and deadass supernaturally good at reading people

Decided that killing was bad actually the first time she did it so fuck assassins she’s Black Bat/Batgirl/Orphan now and she does not have mouth holes in her mask (possibly because she is not white, depending on why you think Batman always has his)

Damian Wayne - Consequences from Bruce’s playboy slut days, he knocked up supervillain Talia Al Ghul and thus this bab was raised by assassins and thinks stabbing siblings is an acceptable greeting

Likes the animals and is secretly soft but will fucking kill you before he admits it

Duke Thomas - Criminally Underused, older than Damian but babiest bat as the Signal, Gotham’s only daytime hero and only meta hero. Second Black hero cuz Lucius Fox exists and so does his son

Never a Bruce-appointed Robin but was trained by 4 previous Robins (no idea where Steph was for this) simultaneously, swears as much as Jason but has living parents sometimes so that’s wild

Kate Kane - Batwoman, definitely fucks

Luke Fox - I think he is Lucius’ son, Lucius made all the bat tech but Luke is going to punch bad guys directly, has a hero name probably that might be fox related

Diana Prince - Wonder Woman, an Amazonian warrior who fucks with Cronos I guess

Donna Troy - I have never fucking seen her in dpxdc but she is Wonder Girl I think and she also fucks

Clark Kent - Superman but also a nerd, treats his clone badly and will never be forgiven

Connor Kent/Kon El - said clone, made by Lex Luthor from Superman’s and Luthor’s DNA because what says hate like making a baby! Mistreating that baby and reminding him he’s meant to be a weapon

Deserves all the love and sometimes his powers don’t work because cloning is hard

Jon Kent - Superman’s son with Lois Lane, got all his dad’s powers but apparently not his mom’s cuz he is still a himbo

Lois Lane - the world’s scariest reporter who will make all corrupt officials quail because you can’t fucking threaten her, she will tell you to go fuck yourself and if you try and shoot her Superman catches the bullet

Barry Allen - the Flash, does not believe in ghosts even though he can run so fast he travels in time so he’s clearly the arbiter of what makes sense

But I guess you can’t catch him to tell him he’s wrong so

Hal Jordan - Green Lantern, Space Ho

Lex Luthor - surprising dad energy for a bald supervillain who hates aliens (blame halfagone)

John Constantine - super thot and mage, will sell his soul to anyone who offers to gain immortality because no one can decide who gets to keep his soul so they just spite reviving him

Has the actual worst luck and finds out just slightly more than he fucks around but he hasn’t died yet so it’s working

Zatanna - magic lady who does spells by saying words backwards, the competent adult

Boston - Deadman, an Actual Fucking Ghost Member Of The Justice League, What The Fuck Flash This Is Workplace Harassment

Cannot be seen or heard without magical assistance, so way less of a problem than Danny Phantom ghosts

#dpxdc #dp x dc #onboarding post #dpxdc onboarding #all you need to know about danny phantom #unless i missed something #then it’s just all i know about danny phantom #definitely all i know about dc

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feelmyskinonyourskin · 8 months

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Pongo and Perdita [Crossover Trope]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Trope de Sept Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Crossover style 1. Characters from one franchise appear in the universe of a totally different franchise. 2. The plot of one franchise is applied to characters from a different franchise. "Bucky gets a dalmatian service animal and meets you and your service dalmation, very in the style of 101 Dalmatians."

Warnings: No use of Y/N. Female Reader. No other warnings, just fluff.

WC: 1,135

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*

Bucky plucked away at the old piano, a thrift find he reveled in playing to his heart's content to chase away the bad thoughts and keep him going. Pongo laid at his feet, a service dog he’d gotten a few years ago to help him through all the trauma. Not only an incredible companion, but a best friend.

Pongo knew hobbies were important for his human, especially one recovering from what he’d been through. But Pongo had been cooped up in that stuffy Brooklyn brownstone with him all day and was desperate for the fresh air. Afterall, getting out of the house was essential for Bucky’s health.

Pongo sauntered over to his favorite spot by the window, watching the world go by.

A tall, lanky girl walked by, brown coat shining in the sun. Her human wore a beret and oversized glasses. What an unusual breed.

Then came a pug, nose strung as high as her owners and not even giving Pongo in the window a second glance.

After them, a small child and her pup and an old woman on a bike with her dog in a basket.

Pongo laid his head on the window sill with a sigh.

Then he saw her, the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Clean white coat, symmetrical spots and the most enchanting caramel eyes.

And the human wasn’t half bad either.

It had just been him and Bucky for far too long. But this mystery pair seemed like the perfect opportunity to change that.

Pongo lept to the front door, took his leash in his mouth, and galloped over to Bucky. His sad, large eyes told his human exactly what he wanted.

“Sorry bud, got kinda carried away. Alright, let's go to the park.”

Perfect. That had to be where the dalmatian and her human were heading.

Brooklyn’s Prospect Park was Bucky’s favorite place to be in the spring. The trees were in bloom and plenty of grass had finally grown in after the long winter, giving him and Pongo plenty of space to stretch out and play.

But today, Pongo didn’t seem interested in stopping at his favorite greenway. He ignored all the other pups he’d normally be so eager to play with. Bucky practically had to run to keep up with him, nose in the earth following a scent like a trained bloodhound and choosing a trail they’d never gone down before.

Finally they stopped. Bucky rested his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

They were by a beautiful pond, one they’d never come across before.

You were sitting on a nearby bench, head lost in a book with your dog sitting beside you, watching the water.

Pongo traipsed right over, leaving Bucky exasperated and still catching up.

He went up to your dog first, giving her a chance to sniff him and make sure he was okay before approaching you. She seemed unsure, but he went ahead anyway.

You excitedly put down your book and gave him some pets.

“Well hey there handsome guy, who are you?” you asked

“Sorry!” Bucky finally caught up “Sorry, that’s my dog. He usually doesn’t bother strangers.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. He’s a sweetie. Aren’t you?”

Pongo looked incredibly pleased with himself as you scratched a particularly good spot behind his ear.

“What’s his name?” you asked the strange handsome man

“This is Pongo. He’s my service dog.”

“Pongo! Oh you’re a good boy!”

Bucky bent down, giving your aloof dog some attention as well.

“This is Perdita. She’s also my service dog.”

“What a pretty girl.” Bucky commented as he stroked her head

Perdita shot Pongo another look, as if to say “Haha, I’m getting some attention too!”

“Well,” Bucky stood, “We’re sorry to bother you. Like I said, this is unusual for him. Come on Pongo!”

“Oh no, you’re no bother. I love meeting other dogs!”

“Well, have a nice day.” Bucky said with a smile, bowing his head and reattaching Pongo’s leash, attempting to drag him away.

Pongo jumped up, nudging his nose against Bucky’s shoulder and in one motion, took his vibranium arm in his mouth. Bucky was knocked backwards, giving Pongo the opportunity to slip away and run, leash still trailing behind him.

“Pongo! Give it back!” Bucky shouted, finally getting back on his feet and running after him

You jumped up, attempting to help the stranger chase his dog and get his prosthetic back.

Perdita, meanwhile, looked amused as she watched you and Bucky run around in circles, trying to capture Pongo.

Suddenly, you and the man collided, chest to chest, as you both were too focused on where Pongo was and not each other. You looked down at your feet and Pongo had gotten his leash wrapped around both of your legs.

“Oh gosh, I am so sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, trying to untangle the two of you

Perdita jumped in, tugging at the hem of your coat to keep you from toppling over.

But it was no use. With a loud splash you and the man went crashing into the pond.

It was a shallow pond, but still it had done a marvelous job in soaking you head to toe.

“I am so sorry!” the man exclaimed as you both flailed in the water

You couldn’t respond, this incident being the tipping point in a terrible week. All you wanted to do was go to the park and read your book and relax. The tears started flowing freely.

“Oh god.” Bucky felt awful “Here.” he said, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket that was also drenched.

What kind of an old-fashioned weirdo carried around a handkerchief? You had to giggle at the fact. And it was totally useless too, as the man and his clothes and the things in his pockets had also fallen victim to the unexpected swim. So you giggled some more.

And the man also giggled. In fact, the two of you couldn’t stop giggling.

Two sharp barks from the bank of the pond snapped you out of it, as Pongo and Perdita sat side by side, tails wagging while they watched the two of you sit in the water.

“I’m Bucky, by the way.” the stranger said, offering you his flesh hand and helping you stand

You smiled at him and introduced yourself.

“Would you like to walk with me to my place? It isn’t far from here and I can get you some towels so you can dry off? Get a warm cup of coffee for you too? It’s the least I can do after my dog caused all this.” he offered

“I’d like that.” you replied

You helped him reattach his metal arm, and then you and he walked side by side out of the park, Pongo and Perdita not far behind.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #sebastian stan #winter soldier #fatws #crossover #trope de sept #trope #101 dalmatians

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echo-echo31 · 5 months

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The Invinciblity of Time | Doctor Who x In Space with Markiplier | Tenth Doctor + Engie

A/N: Idk if I'll do more of these but I know I'm very proud of myself for that title hehe.

Warnings: None :)

“I do love a good spaceship,” The Doctor stated, fully conscious that he was speaking only to himself. It helped, in some ways, to act as though someone was still there. Else all he’d have was his own thoughts, and they were something he’d rather not be trapped with.

The medium-length corridor oozed the stylings of the 51st century. Even the lighting choice - all blues and purples - reminded him of the famous 3D painting of the Medusa Cascade from this period; reprinted and sold for profit as was humanity’s want, so that the pattern appeared in holographic wallpapers and curtains all over several galaxies.

“Ah, but that’s interesting,” He spoke aloud again, his attention caught by the faint glow behind a metal door located at the other end of the corridor. Reaching for his glasses in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, he strode quickly up to it. He pressed his hand against the metal, surprised again this time by the temperature of the surface. Instead of coolness, the door burnt almost uncomfortably with a heat that seemed to radiate off it. He was about to speak of the strangeness of this, when the door suddenly slide open to reveal the cause of this heat.

A swirling, chaotic, violent storm of blue blinded him. He could feel the harsh wind sting his face as he stepped back, automatically shielding his eyes. After a second, he looked properly, allowing himself to truly take in the magnificence of the wormhole.

“Oh, but that’s beautiful,”

That’s when the man flew into him.

He was thrown to the floor, back hitting the grated surface as the collision caused the other man to practically slam his head into his chest, flying vertically through the open door.

As soon as the impact had been made, the door slid shut again, and The Doctor had enough time to contemplate several different reasons for this before a groan of pain came from the man dressed in what looked like a boiler suit.

“What the fuck…” He muttered, seeming to be unaware of his current situation until he very quickly scrambled to his feet with a shout.

The Doctor leaned up on his elbows, face contorted with surprise as he properly observed the man. He looked dishevelled but almost as if that were the least of his problems. His red beret indicated some kind of status as a crewmember, but it was covered in some kind of dirt.

“You’re not the Captain,” He stated, voice wary and untrusting.

“No. My name’s The Doctor. I just arrived on board,” he rattled off the usual explanation, noting how the crewmember seemed to already be preoccupied with something else, looking behind him as though he were ready for something to attack from the shadows.

“I noticed you had a bit of a wormhole problem,”

The guy looked back at him then, a half-laugh too full of exhaustion to actually be amused leaving him before his arms started gesticulating faster than his words could keep up.

“Yeah, you could say that. I’ve been flung around by that thing too many times to count. Now, unless you’re about to turn into some kinda gruesome flesh-eating monster or you can tell me exactly what the hell is going on with my ship, please could you do me a favour and keep the jokes to yourself!”

The Doctor blinked, rising to his feet as the man looked at him like he was about to explode.

“I thought you were looking for the captain…isn’t this their ship?”

“Look here, buddy Are you going to help me or eat me? That’s all I need to know,”

“Well…” He started, noting how the guy seemed to ready himself for a fight, “Great big wormhole stuck in the middle of a spaceship with men falling out of them…how could I resist?”

#sfw sunday #crossover #echo writes #star boi <3 #dw

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ahedderick · 8 months

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For some reason, these old photos have darkened almost too much to see. I was able to fix them a little bit after scanning them. Anyhow, that's me, riding a large pig named Annabelle in 1971. With my father, who is, rather inexplicably, wearing a beret. Why the pig is wandering outside the pigpen with no lead rope or any means of human control is - a mystery for the ages. Honestly, the seventies were just like that.

#farmblr #family lore #pigs #farm animals #hogs

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phntxm · 1 year

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Headcanons for Gyu and Ume in Kimetsu Academy AU

kimetsu academy or modern world same thing

okay first of all, douma's gonna their step father, he's the one who save them? then this life he gonna save them by being their parent (let's pretend they're an orphan🤚)

gyutaro would have friends, ofc people mag considering him as ugly due to where they live and many things but in present time he definitely be one of the normal people, at least people gonna treated him as more human being

idk if his work as dept collector is a good or bad thing, but it's legal right? at first he'll live normally like a student, don't have to work for anything, but when he's in college he may find a legal part time job, since he want his history to be clean

I don't think he gonna do drug, he may interest in it at first bc of curiosity but he do smoke ig

ume is pretty and in kimetsu academy many boys send her their confessions, but what about girls

idk but she's not a type of pretty girl who like to hang out with boys, she like to hang out with girls, she's a mean girl (*cough* bc gyu and douma who like to spoiled her *cough*)😭 and gyu won't let a man be near his lovely sis too

many people have crush on ume but don't have confidence to give it to her by themselves so they gave it to gyu instead (how)

this happened too many times BUT there's also have someone who have crush on gyu and give him the love confession too (and that person it's me) but he misunderstood for ume and give it to her (she give it back to him later but gyu take it's as a prank)

gyu would work as delivery guy bc he know how to ride a bike🧍‍♀️ and when he send their parcel/food he don't have to take off his helmet so they can't see his face… 😔

I forgot this one, so douma adopted him and ume and douma remarried with kotoha and inosuke live with them too (this is my hc don't take it too serious)

sometimes tanjiro and zenitsu will come to play in their house, zen really likes ume but he scared of her brother and how mean she is

gyu don't like tanjiro, he always mean to him, but tanjiro never mad at him until gyu started to talk sh!t about nezuko to provoke tan😭🤚

gyu like emo punk/rock, ume and douma like j-pop and girl group, I also hc daki as sm gg stan (which I'll do hc about demons music taste later)

from what I mentioned above, why douma and ume like girl group, douma actually enjoy various genre, I can see him enjoying britney spears and lady gaga songs, or j-pop like gardinelia

for ume, it's kinda weird reasons, she likes pretty girls, gives off sm stan vibe and sapphic vibe… I can even named her bias in each group and yk, I'm sorry to assume but I saw many sone girls come out as sapphic and this really fits ume

a lot of scenarios like to write for ume to be jealous of reader if reader pretty than her, if in original story then ume would eat them but in modern world I don't think she gonna hate them because

1.ume very confident, she knows she's charming and don't have to worry about anything, people still gonna come back to her

2.ume didn't eat them bc she's jealous of pretty people and wanna get rid of them, if that's so, she would do it at first place

3.it's confirmed she hate ugly people, and don't even wanna eat to power up

ume wanna friends with pretty girls and she's kind of protective friend💪 she knows how to fight in verbally and physically (or just call gyu, magic word : onii-chan!!!)

she may have many friends, and her close friend group, but if any of them talk bad about her brother then boom, goodbye you're not my friend now and she don't even hesitate to do so

in original story, ume original hair color is white, gyu is black, but in modern world they both would have black hair but dyed it layer, ume dye it white and gyu dye it green and wears beret hat heheh❤️

this one is canon!! gyu want his sister to have better life, and when they arguing he said about his better life without her, I see it as gyu overprotective to his sister but NOT OBSESSIVE and don't make it to be in any gross or creepy way!

if he has a chance he definitely have a lover and live his life, not following his sister everywhere, but if ume have a lover then he gonna approve them first, she's innocent and nice girl, this is why he scared

Notes: this is all I can think of now, I may write for part 2 in the future or other kimetsu academy/modern au, I'm sorry if there's any grammatical issues, english is not my native language and I know I use to many 'like' 🥲

lmk if you have any opinion about them!!

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sshbpodcast · 7 months

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Character Spotlight: Hikaru Sulu

By Ames

Have at thee! Pick up your foil and get into the proper stance as A Star to Steer Her By shines this week’s character spotlight on the Enterprise’s helmsman (and occasional musketeer), Hikaru Sulu. We may have had to get a little nitpicky with noteworthy moments from Scott last week because he’s just used less than the three main characters, and Sulu will be even tougher because he does even less and then is gone for a lot of season two while he was off filming The Green Berets (which I wouldn’t even recommend, so that’s a waste!).

That’s not to say Sulu isn’t a great presence in The Original Series, and we came up with some great (and not so great) moments from this ship’s jack of all trades. He swashbuckles, he collects pistols, he tends to plants, he quips with his Russian bestie. Check out the best and worst of Sulu below, listen to this week’s banter on the podcast (discussion starts at 1:19:43), and give us warp speed on my mark. Mark!

Best Moments

Someone give this man a hand… plant Sulu started the series with a passion for botany that never really came up much after it was established in “The Man Trap” (even when it would have been applicable, as you’ll see), but it was endearing to see him caring for Beauregard and worrying about his flowery friend after a salt vampire masquerading as crewman Green gave him a fright. There there, Beauregard.

Richelieu, beware! One of the most memorable moments for Sulu and also for the whole damn series comes in “The Naked Time” where we see our favorite helmsman get affected by the space madness disease and start running around the ship shirtless with a foil, provoking crewmen into duels. It’s that bonkers kind of fun episode that really worked for TOS and gave us decades of referential humor after.

Lower us down a pot of hot coffee While we gave Kirk a lot of guff about his characterization(s) in “The Enemy Within,” we’ve really got to give Sulu credit for his work in the B plot. While slowly freezing on Alfa 177, he manages to keep morale up with the occasional light-hearted room service call to the Enterprise. And this is the first we see of what we dubbed the “Sulu Maneuver,” when you heat up some rocks with a phaser! Clever!

He’s doing a countdown! Okay, this one’s here partly because of the running joke we made out of Bailey’s delivery pointing out Sulu’s rather macabre countdown, but Sulu also displays some serious chops in “The Corbomite Maneuver.” Bailey can’t handle the pressure, and Sulu has to literally lean over and do his job for him at the same time, all without losing count!

You are not of the body Mind-controlled Sulu is best Sulu and gets some really fun acting out of George Takei every time. We see it in the afore-mentioned “The Naked Time,” in “Catspaw,” and in “This Side of Paradise,” to name a few, but my favorite mind-controlled Sulu has got to be in “The Return of the Archons” because of all the extra points he gets for this ruffly outfit!

It’s Greek to me Let’s also commend Sulu for rigging up the ship’s phasers to destroy Apollo’s temple in “Who Mourns for Adonais?” Why this plan worked I have absolutely no idea. What self-respected god entity puts all of their powers in a single object? Trelane wouldn’t gaff this hard. Anyway, props to Sulu for somehow avoiding phasering the humans who were hiding only ten feet away like fools.

Lay back and thinking about vegetables Holy cow, guys. A whole episode in which only Spock, Uhura, and Sulu are featured from the entire cast? It must be “The Slaver Weapon” from The Animated Series. Only TAS could get away with giving to Sulu scenes that would go to Kirk any other day, and he owns it! He outwits the Kzinti. He avoids their telepathy by thinking about broccoli. He does it all!

Don’t call me tiny As usual, some of the best moments we’ve collected come from the films, where the characters all really get the shine. Even the minor characters like Sulu, who gets to sashay around in what we previously dubbed the Ta’cape in The Search for Spock and hold his own against a security officer who stands probably a full foot taller than him, like a small dog in a fight. Bowwow!

Special delivery While we’re a little sad that Sulu had probably the fewest character scenes in The Voyage Home (they evidently cut a family reunion scene due to bad child acting), we do have to thank this San Franciscan for obtaining and flying a helicopter around to deliver the transparent aluminum to the ship. How did he pull it off? We’ll just have to use our imagination.

Emergency Landing Plan B Wow, we’ve had more good moments from The Final Frontier than bad ones to mention in these character spotlight posts, which is kind of fascinating considering that film on the whole is among our least favorites. But when Sulu totally rocks it and manually lands the shuttle in the bay using a barricade, we have to admit that the film knew how to use its characters.

Fly her apart then! How often does Sulu get to save the day? Not often enough, I say, because when he gets the opportunity to have the Excelsior join in the battle in The Undiscovered Country, it’s positively thrilling. Your heart just wells at the love these crewmembers have for each other that Sulu would ignore orders to come rescue his friends with passion that I wish we got to see more often in the show.

Tossing a match into a pool of gasoline For the 30th anniversary of Star Trek, Voyager treated the fans with a little Sulu action in “Flashback” and he proved to be just as heroic as ever! Not only do we get to see his decision to go save his old crewmates, but we see him outwit Kang by igniting the sirillium in a nebula. Not only that, but he does the humane and diplomatic thing and makes sure it won’t destroy the Klingon ship utterly. Now that’s a great birthday gift!

—

Worst Moments

It’s a he plant – a girl can tell Ya know how we were lauding Sulu for all his great botany work before? Well, he insists that Beauregard’s name is Gertrude for some reason in “The Man Trap.” Dude, just let Janice name him Beauregard if she wants to. He’s her plant, you just feed him sometimes. And frankly, Beauregard is the perfect name for this plant, so we have to give you points off for this one.

I’ll protect you, fair maiden Another instance that’s on both our good and bad lists comes in “The Naked Time.” Drunk or not, assaulting his coworkers is not okay, pal. And Uhura can defend herself from the likes of Richelieu or whoever else. Can we do away with the constant need to protect female characters like they’re damsels in distress? Luckily, Uhura managed to own this moment, as we’ll certainly see next week.

I knew he would Here’s another example of Chris putting the same moment in both of his lists. Funny as that interaction with Bailey was, did we really need the countdown in “The Corbomite Maneuver”? Balok was already doing it for us, as we could tell when the Clint Howard–shaped alien was supposed to repeat “one minute” after Sulu, but the line was cut, and Sulu reacts to it anyway like a weirdo.

Fantasy island, er, planet Most things in “Shore Leave” are perplexing since the episode was being written on the fly and all the characters are acting entirely out of character (we postulated the whole planet was drugged, but who knows). So when Sulu is evidently thinking about samurai for some reason, we can just blame the writers if that comes across as a little racist, especially considering Takei fought to NOT be written as a samurai in “The Naked Time.”

If it were two feet from me You know how we were giving credit earlier to Sulu for caring for Beauregard and having a knack for botany? Well all that goes out the window in “This Side of Paradise” where Sulu suddenly can’t notice a plant that is literally right next to him and slowly turning to face him. I call this man’s botany skills into question. No wonder he misgendered Beauregard!

You are away from your post, Mister We can give normal universe Sulu a pass on this one, but his parallel universe self in “Mirror, Mirror” is just a monster. While it’s some good fun to watch Takei got down with his bad self by trying to get the captain killed and all that jazz, it is just plain uncomfortable to watch him terrorizing Uhura, so it’s definitely worth a place on our list.

A literal dagger of the mind In “And the Children Shall Lead,” it’s unclear how far the mental powers of Gorgan go since sometimes the crew only hallucinates things and sometimes they are straight-up mind controlled. Sulu seeing a ton of knives in space (which is just plain impossible and he should know it) is the weirdest instance yet. Kirk has to tell him what he sees isn’t there, but does he understand that? Who knows; it’s a nonsensical episode.

I am for you, Sulu This is just a little moment, but Sulu falls (literally!) for one of the oldest cliches in horror writing: When Losira is coming for him in “That Which Survives,” Sulu backs away and trips on some rocks like a chump, leaving himself prone to her attack. And what makes even less sense is that her touching him doesn’t kill him like the others; it only disrupts the cells in his shoulder. Like a chump.

It’s Walter backwards! More of Sulu getting made to look like a chump comes in The Animated Series episode “The Infinite Vulcan” when he nearly gets himself killed after getting bitten by a retlaw: a walking planet with poisonous bite. Luckily, he gets saved by the Phylosians, but you’d think a botanist like Sulu would know better. Oh wait, I’ve already questioned his botany skills, so there’s that.

You’re a wizard, Sulu! I can’t rant enough on what a trainwreck “The Magicks of Megas-Tu” is, but here’s a taste. To test out how to use magic (not even going to start; we’ll be here all day), Sulu’s first impulse is to make himself a pretty woman and then go in to kiss her. In front of everyone. What the hell, Sulu? I expected better from you, man, but making yourself a sex doll is utterly ridiculous.

One tiny step for a tiny man One more from The Animated Series, and this one’s stupidity is compounded by the super inconsistent animation. When he’s been shrunk in “The Terratin Incident” to somewhere between one foot and one inch tall depending on the art frame, Sulu goes to turn a dial, somehow trips on it, and falls off the equivalent of a ten-story building only to break a leg. Ugh.

Like a bull in a China ship I have to give Sulu grief about something that bugs me whenever I see it in Star Trek. Did you ever notice that the crew seem to use breakable items only so they can get smashed? In any other scene, the ceramic tea cup that we see in The Undiscovered Country might be metal or plastic or the paper cups we saw at one point, but because we need to see it break, it’s ceramic, and I slowly lose my mind about it.

—

Oh my. We’re reducing to impulse speed to prepare for more of these character spotlights, so keep your eyes here for more in the series! Also, keep up with our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, challenge us to a duel over on Facebook or Twitter, and take a moment to smell the flowers, if you take a half a second to notice them.

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