#the hunter lord of the great abyss who just so happens to be a good elder god

[sleepyminty]

Most of them are abysshunters but the bloodborne hunter still the mvp

[alternatefandom]

Death of a Deity, or, resentment of fallen gods across Mondstadt, Liyue, and Inazuma

Inazuma’s release reveals a ton of lore with it, including three major world quests that involves purifying some sort of evil so that previously-dangerous areas can become safe again. As a Xiao main, the topic of evil and resentment interests me very much, primarily because Genshin never quite explains to us what, exactly, is the evil that Xiao has to eternally struggle against, and why he has to do it for all eternity. This post is my attempt to compile everything we know about the evil that Xiao fights against, not just in Liyue, but all over the Teyvat we know.

There are seven nations in Teyvat, each ruled by their own deity. Styled as Archons, these deities won their titles two thousand years ago when they emerged as the victors of the Archon War. But even though they are worshipped as gods, they are not immortal. Archons have died and new ones have risen to take their place. Still, the death of a deity is no simple matter. From Havria, whose death unleashes a shockwave that turned her fleeing followers into salt, to the great serpent of Yashiori Island, whose death unleashes the tatarigami, we can see that the death of a deity has left their marks upon nations...

...except for Mondstadt.

But before we talk about Mondstadt, let's start with what Liyuens have to say about their fallen gods.

Liyue

We are first introduced to the concept of resentment of fallen gods in Liyue. Liyue is a bountiful and peaceful land, but it is also the site of many battlefields of yore. Many deities have met their end in this nation; some passed away peacefully, while others very much don’t.

The leftover resentment of fallen gods is a dangerous thing. Unfettered, it can poison the land, spawn monsters, and cause illness amongst mortals. In Liyue, two notable entities safeguard them against such an occasion: the guardian yakshas, who literally fight agaist the resentment, and Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who burn bodies of the deceased to ensure that any pestilence does not spread.

In Xiao's collected miscellany, Dainsleif states that the resentment of fallen gods is something to be endured, implying that the fight against resentment is one that will go on for eternity. However, it is interesting to note that Liyue's guardian entities seem to contradict this statement. In her story quest, Hu Tao flat-out states that the 'curse of the gods' have long since been eradicated.

In his own story quest, when talking about the demon-tainted monster, Xiao says that they were tainted by Xiao's own bad karma, instead of resentment of the fallen gods.

We can see that the state of the resentment of fallen gods in Liyue right now remains unclear. Has it been eradicated, or is it still a threat? Is the evil taint in Liyue caused by resentment of fallen gods, or remnants of Xiao's accumulated karma? What will happen if Xiao dies? Will the karma he accumulated be unleashed or will it die with him? Is there anyone who will be able to take over his job? Will anyone need to? The system of resentment suppression in Liyue right now seem fragile, but could Zhongli have retired if things truly are as precarious as they seem?

Inazuma

When we get to Inazuma, we see that the resentment of fallen gods is running rampant. In Liyue, we pretty much only fight demon-tainted enemies during Xiao's story quest, but in Inazuma, they're everywhere. The people of Inazuma call this phenomenon the 'tatarigami', and unlike in Liyue, they have dedicated systems to suppress and even harness it, even though they are defunct for one reason or another.

The first notable evil-purifying system is centered on Narukami Island, at the Grand Sakura Tree. The roots of this tree is connected to the Thunder Sakura roots growing all over Narukami Island. Thunder Sakuras are capable of absorbing filth and evil from the land. However, if the tree absorbs too much filth, it will die. This is why there are barriers placed at its roots. They serve as filters that can be cleaned out every half-century or so, preventing too much filth from seeping into the Grand Sakura Tree and killing it.

Outside of Narukami Island, around Kannazuka, there are also five Thunder Sakuras growing around Mikage Furnace. We know that Thunder Sakuras can purify filth, so it makes sense for them to be planted around the Mikage Furnace. Ostensibly, they can be used to purify excessive tatarigami, keeping the area around the furnace safe for everyone.

However, according to Miyuki (the miko in the Sakura Arborism quest), the Thunder Sakuras of Kannazuka are not used to purify tatarigami. Rather, they serve to suppress ‘the one who lies beneath’; whether it is a fallen deity, a sealed one, or something else, we do not know. In fact, it is important to note that while the Thunder Sakuras can purify filth and evil, it is never explicitly stated that it can purify resentment or tatarigami. The evil and filth that the Sakura trees purify may very well be different to the resentment of fallen gods. Which makes sense; nothing in Inazuman lore suggests that any deity have unwillingly met their end at Narukami Island or Kannazuka proper.

To the west of Kannazuka, though, lies Yashiori, an island battered by the full force of the tatarigami. It comes from the remains of Orobachi, a giant serpent-god slain by the Raiden Shogun. As a defense against tatarigami, the people of Inazuma placed wards to suppress Orobachi’s soul. However, the wards are not enough to suppress the tatarigami altogether: the Kitain family, hailed as the Yashiori Guardians, are tasked with hunting down the tatarigami to keep the people safe. The lore of the Kitain Cross Spear has this to say about them: “having been a demon hunter for so long, it is unavoidable that one might imbibe some of that miasmic, tainted blood.” 

Well, doesn’t that sound familiar.

The tatarigami in Yashiori seem to be the closest account of resentment that we know from Liyue. Like in Liyue, the people of Yashiori had to resort to literally battling the tatarigami, but unlike in Liyue, they have no immortal adeptus that can bear the burden of karma for them. Eventually, due to various factors, even the Yashiori Guardians succumbed to tatarigami. What remains behind is an island ravaged by illness and natural disasters, a grim example of a society built upon the ashes of divine war with no divine being who cares enough to protect them.

Mondstadt

Unlike Liyue and Inazuma, somehow, Mondstadt does not seem to be troubled with the resentment of fallen gods. This is probably because unlike Liyue and Inazuma, Mondstadt was never the site of grand archon battles. During Decarabian's reign, Andrius kept the land frozen in a blizzard, and after Decarabian's fall, Andrius chose to pass away peacefully, using his power to nourish the land instead of leaving resentment behind. There are no accounts of other gods dying against their will in Mondstadt, save for Decarabian himself.

And yet, we do not see traces of resentment anywhere in Mondstadt, not even in the ruins of Old Mondstadt. The darkness that corrupts Dvalin comes from the Abyss, and so is the corruption of the dragon Durin. So the big burning question is, where did Decarabian's resentment go? Did he choose to pass away in peace after all? Did Venti manage to purify his resentment somehow? Does this mean that resentment can truly be purged, and if so, what does this mean for Xiao? Or are we just reading too much into the whole resentment thing?

The Solution to Tatarigami

So, if the resentment of fallen gods is something that can never be purged, what can the people of Teyvat do to protect themselves? Is burdening a divine being with pain and bad karma the only reliable way? Well, the good news is that there may be another way. From the Tatara Tales world quest, we know that tatarigami can be harnessed and even purified, to an extent. So even though a solution does not exist right now, there may very well be in the near future. There is light at the end of the tunnel for our friendly neighborhood Yaksha; one day, he may be able to follow his lord into a peaceful retirement, after all.

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

-

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

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[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

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[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

-

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

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[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

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[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

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[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

[maiuoart]

Massive DragaSwap Asks!

Heya, Folks! Got a massive information dump for the wonderful DragaSwaps! 

@rofa1309​ Ohboy! This is actually my favorite, because Azure actually sleeps hilariously and adorably!! 

Azure sleeps like a literal egg; Meaning he curls up, arms under his head, hands cradling his skull slightly, while his wings completely cover and wrap around him while his tail’s magic goes out, leaving him with his boney tail nub! 

Though it would be a hell of a lot easier if Azzie would just... Y’know, move his horns like his brother?? Like, keep them back or position them some DIFFERENT way?? He prefers to never move them, but that’s alright... He seriously loves curling up and being literally compacted. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had him in your home, you’re trying to look for him; And here you haven’t found him ALL DAY... But you open a closet door, and here you just see something that shouldn’t be there... Low and behold, it’s fucking Azzie sleeping like an egg in your closet xDDD

Abyss? He sleeps easily with his ability to move his horns. Normally ends up sleeping on the magical-substances, honestly! Doesn’t hurt him though, he’s so used to sleeping on them, on his hood, but it does shock him awake when he’s able to pinch his hood magic.

However if they really could; They could turn their magic off within their horns (And other spots containing their magic) but they only do this when regenerating from fights! 

Oh, the brothers would be very cautious if it’s a new person their meeting! Actually, they have to be; They wouldn’t dare go near someone/thing/monster without fully understanding the situation at hand. So basically, that won’t happen... At least... With Azzie.

However, if you’ve already known them for a bit but not much or something to that affect;

Azure would be watching your moves and curious of what you may be staring at. 

He’ll focus really hard on whatever spot you’re daydreaming at and trying to see if he finds the appeal of... What is that? A rock? Why? What’s so special about it? And he’ll literally get closer to you to try and view what you are; And if you jolt when he gets too close; He’ll probably be so focused on the spot himself he’ll either; -Not notice you jumping, with furrowed brows and trying so hard to figure out the meaning behind your staring at a thing -Or if you make a noise; He’ll accidentally hiss and jolt himself before asking you questions!

Abyss, well...

Truth be told, he’d keep staring at you. He’s the jokester, so he’ll begin to make small tail movements around your direction and keep playing around like that until he finally gets a reaction from you. Either his tail, flaring his hood a bit, ‘sssss’ing softly or the like; And when you jolt? He’s going to rightfully laugh and chuckle, make a few jokes where he can.

If it’s a first time meeting; He’ll stay hidden and keep a close watch on you. Though, he’s the more curious one, ironically; Had to be, after Azzies accident. If you’re, lets say... About to fall off a cliff or something; He might help ya out but without showing himself. If he somehow ends up doing so, however; He would be as tense as you. His hood would flare, his eyes would darken as his eyelights would turn to tiny slits, waiting for you to make a move first... If you showed that expression though, he would relax a bit and chuckle, then start telling you to watch where you step and quickly get you both back on the ways you were heading.

But, if you catch this boy in his Feeding Frenzy... Walking in on him while he’s Eating; Could literally be anything, but he would become more than aggressive. With his mind on the concept of Food only; you better turn right around as soon as you hear his rumbling and warning hiss he will no doubt do. He’s... Very feral when in this area. His Food, His Feeding; You better pray he has a full stomach so he doesn’t chase after you. 

Lord only knows what the fuck he’d do if he managed to still be hungry!!

@inkswirl​ Both brothers would be... Well! Very enthralled with that!! After the whole jolting and semi freaking out because you had somehow came right up and asked them, anyways! 

After the shock;

Azure would fluster a bit; Never had a picture taken at all or had someone wanting to look at him like they didn’t want him dead or something! Though he’d be super flattered, he would actually try and say he isn’t that interesting due to all the low self-esteem in his mind raging, perhaps trying to get you to draw his brother instead??? But all in all, if you were a bit more insistent, he would ask shyly if he could see it afterward. 

Abyss wouldn’t care at all which way it would go; You might get a bit annoyed with the picture taking, though... Film is easy to convert, especially with Magic Waves he would give out and basically say he isn’t doing anything when you become frustrated at the camera for not being able to take ‘Good Pictures’ of the brothers... Even Azzie is disappointed, but Abyss wouldn’t care. No photo evidence. Yet, you sketching them? Yeah, he’d be all for it and sit and sun bathe, take a nap while you do your thing; Because it’ll be drawn, so theres no real danger in it.

@desithecubi They both are flattered and say you’re mighty adorable, too!! Thank you for the hugs~ ♥

Both of the guys would prefer night; But thats due to the fact they’re nocturnal! Though if they could, especially Azure, he’d try to become a day-bird... He HAS tried, but it’s failed so much... Doesn’t stop him though! He turned to half/half while Abyss is all for the night. 

There are rare days though they’ll be up during the days; But that’s probably due to work or someone disturbed them! Or their minds won’t let them rest~

Yes! Both brothers have the ability to merge or camouflage with their backgrounds/surroundings! However, it takes a bit of time for it to completely cover them, so they have to be stealthy... It’s quick to disappear, though! It’s due to so much magic within that makes up their horns and everything, that it’s used to help them go basically invisible! It’s why their so rare for; No other Monster in their area can do this, making them the perfect candidates for being Protectors!

 That’s actually two different terms of Hunter; 

Azure's meaning is he literally Hunts for food and patrolling around. His brother is whats called a Watcher, where he stays in place. 

Hunters for Humans is what I have called the Mages right now; They’re out to get any Monster they can; Whether it be for Magic, Dust, whatever treasure they can get their hands on, or even just for kicks. It’s literally like those people who have a lot of money and hunt Lions or other rare breeds of animals and some WILL kill for sport.

I have already answered this one, @blacklynx14​! 

Here ya go! ♥

Actually!! This is slightly flipped; Both the brothers are constantly out in the Forbidden Forest making rounds and making sure trespassers are taken cared of. Mainly with kindness, but they both aren’t scared to get forceful! The Monsters where never Underground and don’t plan to be; Though, ironically most would prefer it rather than being up in the open due to previous attacks way back when they could remember by Hunters. It would be hella-lot safer, that’s for sure! But ever since the Brothers were put as Protectors, everything has been... Good?? Better??? It’s seriously nice; Even though some may not be very welcoming to them :’)

Nah, the Royal Guards are deeper within the Forbidden Forest. What Azure and Abyss are? Their much higher than that, so they have no need for it! But, most of the RG’s are very jealous, because the two get to see from outside the Forest, basically!

But when the brothers get bored and feel no other living forces around? Well, Abyss is the Sunbather. But if he sleeps for far too long, Azure will actually come and push him or have a bottle of cold water to wake his brother up!

Azure likes to; 

-Soar in the sky high above the trees, will even go into the Mountains for a while! He’s the explorer and enjoys to sight see. Sometimes, he’ll even travel as far as he can go before the beads on his outfit warn him to turn back. -If he’s able to find any small creatures; He ends up so side tracked playing with them, he doesn’t realize he’s been gone for hours! Especially little cougar cubs and baby bears... And he becomes great friends with a lot of the woodland and other creatures! At least they don’t judge him... -If it’s super late at night and there hasn’t been any humans wandering within their territory for a long while; He’ll actually go to the Village of a particular one to make sure the Humans are alright. There is a certain Human too he enjoys to hang out with, or... Did. 

Abyss enjoys;

-To literally stay in one spot and laze about. And if he can easily catch critters that go in his path, he’ll eat them out of boredom. -He seriously loves pranking his brother, but he has a dark twist to it. Azzie is and has been sick of his humor though. -One of his favorites is to eat squirrels and chipmunks in front of Azzie and Azure’s actual reaction is getting Pissed The Fuck Off and Abyss loves it. (No, worry not; The Animals don’t suffer long. Abyss makes sure it’s quick.) -He... Will watch his stomach digest his food when he’s extremely bored. It’s like watching tv for him. -Go into their Village and talk with other Monsters and just try to have an enjoyable time. Sometimes it’s hard, but at least a few of them don’t mind what he is!

For the Ask they were talking about; Go here!

Ohhhh, you got some pretty cool hobbies, Rofa!! That water painting sounds super relaxing and ultra pretty ♥ But Hobbies for the boys, huh?... Well, lets see...

Azure is the one who ventures, so hiking is his main thing! But if not hiking, he really does enjoy to cook~ Feeding animals is also his ordeal, while learning from the humans of their medication things! He’s very curious how they heal!! Not to mention, want to heal animals, as well!

Abyss is the one who’s all about making clothing from furs and hides. You wouldn’t think he’d be the one to make clothing or anything, but he’s gotta do something productive so his brother doesn’t yell at him... He’s also the fire maker, a bit of a pyro, and enjoys to cook, too. Very big foodie, always looking how to get herbs or learning how to cook; But he’s also good with working and construction types. Building firepits to camps, he’s very much the builder despite not looking like it!

I have not really thought of them quite yet; So if people have ideas for them, I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing you out!! 

And because it’s a Swap verse; Yes! My Grillby would be a Gillby, the Water Element! 

Yes, actually!! A very good relationship; Abyss and Asgore get along very well together. It’s actually because Abyss shows interest more in the Monster heritage that Asgore is happy to have him in their area! 

But, that brings up the question for Azure... Toriel is fine with both the boys; But Asgore might be very weary of Azzie due to his interest in the Humans and then how he got hurt. Still though, he watches out for both of the Brothers and makes sure their alright! He’s still a loveable Goatdad! Just questions Azzie’s place sometimes... 

[fireteam-dauntless]

A Tale of Two Guardians XXVI

Part 1 of the Destined Series Chapter 26 : Fireteam Insurgent's History masterlist

word count : 3.5K tag list : @mail-me-a-snail @basically-nacl @shins-wife @speed-boop

The three of us were in Maverick’s apartment.  There was a pot of coffee brewing and Skinner was on the phone ordering pizza from this place downtown.  Apparently, they had the best pizza in the Last City. I was laying down on the couch. My head was pounding.

“What did we do last night?”  I asked, opening one eye to peer at Maverick, who was sitting at the table.

“We went drinking, remember?”  He said with a chuckle.

“Barely…” I closed my eyes against the sunlight that shone in the room.  “Can you close the blinds? It’s really bright in here.”

Skinner laughed and sat down in the armchair across the room.  “Looks like someone’s hungover. To be fair, though, you had a lot to drink last night.”

“What…? How much?”

“Like… seven Lights Out, plus some normal liquor.”

I groaned and rolled on my stomach, burying my face in the pillows.  I could hear them both laughing. “Shut up, guys,” I complained. The memories of last night were blurry and thinking back on them hurt my head.  I remember dancing, drinking, loud noises, and Maverick holding me tightly at some point.

“Alright, you two,”  Skinner announced a few minutes later.  “I’m going to pick up the pizza. Play nice.  And Mav, no repeats of last night, got it?”

“Fuck off, asshole,” Mav grumbled.

When I heard the door shut, I sat up and held my head.  Maverick came over to me with a cup of black coffee, my usual morning pick-me-up.  He sat down on the couch by my knees. I nodded in thanks and took the cup from him.  “What did happen last night?”  I asked him quietly.

“I’ll explain when you’re sober,” the Exo whispered.

While I sipped on the coffee, Mav gently rubbed my back.  I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder. His touch was soothing and feather-light, almost like he was scared to touch me.

“Why are you always so gentle like this?”  I pressed gently.

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever you touch me, you are always so careful and gentle.  Like you’re afraid you’re going to hurt me. Why is that?”

There was a long silence that fell between us while he thought.  He sighed softly. “I… I don’t know. I guess I’m just scared of my own strength, or what I could accidentally do to you.”

I gazed at him lovingly.  “Mon chérie, you are too kind.  Whatever you do, you could never hurt me.”

He laughed aloud and looked at me, his red eyes ablaze with mischief and excitement.  “Oh, little angel, you have no idea what I am capable of.”

My cheeks warmed and I looked down.  I almost didn’t want to know what happened last night.  I closed my eyes and leaned back on the couch. The light was still straining my eyes, it made me feel like my head was splitting in two.  “Seriously, Mav, can we close the curtains, blinds, or something? My head is splitting.”

The Exo laughed softly and stood, then closed the curtains, flooding the room in dimmer lighting.  I took a sip of my coffee when he came back over to me. “Greasy food will help you, Angel. Trust me.”  He patted my shoulder and then walked back over to the table and sat down.

Ten minutes later, Skinner returned and slammed the door behind him.  “I have fooooood!” He shouted, making my ears ring.  

“Skinner, I swear on the Traveler, shut the fuck up,” I warned, clutching my head.  Both he and Maverick started laughing.

“C’mon, Storm,” Skinner said.  I felt his hands hook underneath my arms and dragged me to my feet.  I groaned in protest, although I followed him to the table, where he and Maverick helped me sit.  “Eating will help you feel better, sooner.” I lowered my head onto the table.

When Mav opened the box, my head shot up.  My enhanced senses went into overdrive and I propped my head on my hand.  It smelled amazing, and even more so when Skinner put a slice on a plate and placed it directly under my nose.  I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I was already half-way through my second piece. My headache was starting to lessen.  I moaned in delight and took another bite. “Oh my lord,” I mumbled. “Mmm… so good…”

Skinner nodded in agreement.  “Told you so.” Even Mav was having a slice.  After a few slices in, my head was clearer and I wasn’t as sensitive to the light.

“Mmh… so…”  I said after a couple more bites.  “Where do we start?”

“Right,”  Mav pulled a file from the stack next to him and opened it.  “Sepkis Prime. It’s the mission that Skinner, Vision, and I met.  We were all assigned individually, but we worked really well together and became a team.”

“Man,” Skinner said and leaned back in his chair.  “You know, we didn’t hit it off at all in the beginning.  I didn’t even want to be a part of the team, but Zavala practically forced me.”

“Really?”  I said in shock.  “How come?”

He shrugged.  “I didn’t work well with people back then, only ever co-op strikes when Zavala really needed me to..”

“It’s true,” Mav added.  “Vision and I hit it off right away, I guess it was the Titan thing.  It was rough trying to get this Hunter to work with us. After Vision and I took him to the bar after a mission, however, and we all really got to know each other personally, we became one of the best teams the Vanguard had at the time.”

I pondered on this for a moment.  “I see… so that’s how your team started.”  I sat back in my chair and took a sip of coffee.  “When I went digging, there were seven mission reports.  I assume you met the rest of the team along the way.”

“Almost all of them,”  Mav corrected. “We met Shadow in the bar.  The guy was lost and Vision insisted that we take him in.”

“Okay, and the others…” I shuffled through the papers.  “Ah, Jamison-6 and Aleckzander. How’d they meet you guys?”

“When I went to kill Draksis.”  Mav shuffled through the files and pulled another file from the stack and placed it in front of me.  I opened it up and skimmed through the document while Maverick continued. “Skinner was on a mission for Cayde and Vision was having an off day, though he didn’t say why and he didn’t want to leave the Tower.  The Vanguard paired me with the two Hunters. Hell, we worked like a well oiled machine in the field.”

“They were great guys,”  Skinner added. “A little rebellious and crazy, but the two of them were inseparable.  And they were always there when called upon.”

“Were they with you when you went to the Vault?”  I asked.

“Yup.  It was Skinner, Shadow, Vision, Paradox, Enigma and I.  Vault of Glass was a tricky raid. Especially in the Labyrinth.”

“The ‘Labyrinth’?”

“The Gorgon Labyrinth.  They’re these Harpies that patrol the Vault, though they’re mostly in the Labyrinth after you encounter the Templar, which was a giant Hydra that protected the entrance to the Labyrinth.  The Gorgons don’t kill you if they catch you. They erase you from existence, so we either had to sneak by quietly or kill all of them. We tried to get through quietly, but Shadow was spotted, so we had to take the violent way out.”

“Typical Titan,” Skinner scoffed.

I laughed softly and shook my head.  Mav was glaring at him. “You know I could wipe the floor with you right now, isn’t that right, asshat?”

Skinner placed a hand on the table and leaned close.  “Oh, I would love to see you try me in Crucible.”

“Okay, boys,”  I interjected. “Be nice.  What happened next? After the Vault.”

“After the Vault?  We all went our separate ways for a while.  We met up once a week or so to hang out and catch up, but Eris reached out to us… maybe two months later, about some Hive activity on the Moon.  She had reached out to us once before, after we destroyed the Heart of the Black Garden. We destroyed the Fist of Crota, but then Omnigul, the Will of Crota, tried to take over Rasputin.  Our mission led us to her, and Eris insisted that we had to put a stop to her work. And stopping her led us to Crota.”

We grew silent.  I was absently swirling my mug in my hand, Mav was staring at the last file in the stack which was now in the center of the table, and Skinner was holding his knife in his hands, the blade glinting in the room’s dim light.  I had read Maverick’s mission debriefing and I knew what he said had happened, but we all withhold information from the Vanguard.

“So…” I started quietly after a few minutes of uneasy silence.  “What actually happened.”

“The raid… it was almost too easy.  Everything went according to plan.” Skinner looked down at the knife in his hands.  “From the moment we entered the Abyss to the moment we killed Crota with his own sword.”

“We won,”  Maverick added quietly and I shifted my gaze to him.  “But… any and all Hive left in that Throne World went into an angry rampage before we could get out.  We ran since our Ghosts couldn’t establish a transmat link in the Throne World. Shadow was first.”

Skinner stabbed his knife into the table, directly through the mission report.  “He got held down by Thrall and before we could get back to him, a Wizard ripped the light out of his body.  His screams… still haunt me when I go to sleep.”

“We kept running,”  Mav continued, “but there was a ledge above that we needed to use to get out of the area, too high to jump to.  Enigma and Paradox helped the three of us jump up, then Enigma helped Paradox up to us. Before we could reach down and pull him up, a Gatekeeper knight pulled him down mid-jump, then slashed him in half.”

Skinner looked over at me.  “Paradox jumped back down after him to protect his Ghost.  He killed the Hive that tried to swarm him. He kept yelling at us to run, and we had no choice but to leave.  He was killed by a Swordbearer. Then both of the Ghosts were shattered.”

I nodded.  The two of them exchanged looks.  Maybe they didn’t want to continue reliving the mission that destroyed their team.  “You guys don’t have to—” I started, but Maverick cut me off.

“No, you should know.  You have every right.”

“Your team was killed because of our mission,”  Skinner added firmly. “You need to understand why; and why Oryx wants to finish the job that his son started.  He wants to destroy all Lightbearers because we killed his son.”

“Okay…” I placed my mug down and refocused.  “So what next. How did you get out?”

“We ran back across the bridge and back into the Abyss,”  Mav continued. “There were hundreds of Thrall chasing us.  Vision was overrun, but I could not let another one of my friends get killed.  Skinner and I killed enough of them to get them to flee, but they got a hold of his Ghost.  We were able to get Vision to his feet and out of the Abyss, and we escaped back to the surface of the Moon.  Vision’s eyes were almost completely clawed out, and since he had no Ghost to heal him, we had to get him back to the Tower to be fixed up.”

“Vision lost all sight in his left eye and about fifty-percent of his right.  If we waited any longer to get him out of there, he would have been totally blind.”  Skinner stood and walked over to the window.

“Wait… I thought it was just you two left.”  I looked between the Hunter and Titan. “Vision’s alive?”

“Well… yeah,”  Mav sighed. “He lives here in the City.  But he hardly speaks to us anymore.”

“Well, maybe not to you,”  Skinner said. “I call him every week.  He hardly leaves his house, but I can convince him to go drinking once a month… or two.”

“Skinner…” Mav almost looked sad.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He didn’t want me to.  He knows you still have a team to lead, so he didn’t want to bother you.  He’s changed a lot. He’s always bitter about something, at least until you get him blackout drunk.  Then he just keeps telling you how much he appreciates you and everything you’ve done to help him.”

Mav’s jaw clenched.  “He doesn’t answer my calls and that’s why?”

“Yeah.”

We fell silent again.  I stood and poured myself another cup of coffee.  “You know, I’d like to meet him,” I said.

“No way,” Skinner said quickly.  “Trust me, Storm, you really don’t.  The guy has no moral filter.”

“So?”

“No, Skinner’s right,”  Mav said. “If he doesn’t even want to talk to me, he definitely doesn’t want to talk to you.  He might see you as his replacement, and he probably already has opinions about you.”

I sighed and nodded.  “I understand.”

We all rejoined at the table, though Skinner just placed his hands on the back of his chair.  “But that’s beside the point. There’s three of us who made it out alive; three of us that didn’t.”

“Yeah, and this afternoon turned out to be more depressing than we anticipated,” Maverick concluded.

“Yeah, that’s just about everything, so I’m going to see Shaxx and jump into the Crucible… blow off some steam.”  And with that, Skinner said farewell, took his knife out of the table, and left Mav’s apartment, leaving the two of us alone.  Mav started to put the papers back in their files.

“Our team has gone through a lot, Storm,” he said quietly.  “You’re not the only one with a vendetta.”

“I know,” I sighed and closed my eyes.  “It’s just hard to remember that I’m not the only one who’s lost their family.”

Maverick stood and walked behind my chair.  His hands placed gently on my shoulders. “I know,” he said.  “But at least now you don’t have to go at it alone. None of us do.”

I leaned my head back against his abdomen.  I opened my eyes and gazed up at him. “Mav… do you mind if I bathe and take a nap for a while to get rid of the rest of my hangover?”

“Yeah, of course,”  he nodded. “I can take you home, or you can just shower here.  I never need to use it, but Skinner’s used it a couple of times when he used to crash here every now and then.”

“I’ll just shower here, if that’s OK.  It’s still way too bright out for me to comfortably walk home.”

“Oh, okay,” he said, almost sounding shocked.  “Um, it’s down the hall, second door on the left.  I’ll put some clothes out for you.”

I smiled and stood.  “Merci, mon chérie.”  I kissed his jaw, then left for the bathroom.  When I was going down the hall, my Ghost appeared at my side, and spoke once I closed the bathroom door behind myself.

“You’re being pretty stupid right now, Guardian,”  Dawn said as I started to undress.

“Why would you say that?”

“Do… do you really not remember what happened between the two of you last night?”

I turned the shower on and turned the temperature gauge to hot.  Heat didn’t really bother me, so I could enjoy scalding hot showers with no painful reactions on my skin.  “No, I don’t… Everything about last night is a blur. I get pieces every now and then, but nothing concrete.”

“Well… you see…”

I cut her off.  “No, peu de lumière.  Maverick said he would tell me, and I am going to hear it from him.  Am I clear?”

“You’re the boss,” she grumbled as I stepped into the shower, and then she disappeared.

I took my time in the shower.  While the heat didn’t burn my skin, it made my senses tingle wonderfully.  I used the shampoo and body wash he had here and scrubbed myself until I couldn’t smell the alcohol anymore.  I heard the door open and close again while I washed, and when I stepped out a couple minutes later, I saw a change of clothes and a fresh towel on the bathroom counter.  I smiled to myself, quickly dried off and dressed, then walked out into the hall. When I got into the living room, I noticed there were pillows and blankets set up on the couch, but Maverick was nowhere to be seen.  I tightened the drawstring on the sweats he left so they stopped slipping. I crossed my arms over my chest and hugged the heather gray t-shirt close. Assuming that Maverick was off doing something, maybe building one of his car models, I laid down on the couch and pulled the blanket over my body.  Before I completely dozed off to sleep, I felt the blanket get pulled up to my chin and Maverick leaned down and kissed my head. I was smiling when I dozed off to sleep.

————— 

I woke up several hours later.  I yawned and stretched, then sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.  Maverick was dozed off in the armchair. I smiled softly and stood, blanket around my shoulders, and I knelt down in front of the chair.  My hand gently placed on his leg and I leaned my head in his lap. After a couple minutes of silence, I felt him shift and his hand gently placed on my head, his finger ran through my hair.  I smiled and looked up at him.

“Beau matin, mon chérie,” I murmured softly.  “Did you sleep?”

“Yeah,” he said as he stretched.  “Did you?”

“Oui,” I smiled and yawned softly.  “My hangover is gone and I’m feeling better already.”

“Good.”

We stayed in silence for a little longer, then I looked up at him.  “Will you tell me now?”

“Tell you what?”

“What happened last night?  Before my Ghost does.”

He gazed off, like he was pondering if he should tell me or not. “Listen, Angel, you were drunk, so you didn’t know what you were doing.  I just don’t want this to change anything between us if I tell you.”

“Mon chérie, why are you hesitating?”

He shifted a bit.  “Genny, you and I…”  He held his head in his hands.  “Fuck, this is really difficult to say.”

I could feel my face warming.  “Mav…”

His hand gently ran over my hair and then rest on my shoulder.  “Angel, I love you. Very much. You know that, right?”

“And you know I love you,”  I replied.

“And I would never hurt you, you know.”

“I know.”

He sighed and nodded.  “Okay… last night, when we all came back here, Skinner passed out in my room, so you and I stayed out here.  We… kind of got a little hot and heavy if you know what I mean. We kissed. A lot. And, uh…” He shifted some more and I felt my heart start  to race. I was starting to catch on.

“Mav… we didn’t… did we?”

“Oh, hell, no.  I wouldn’t do that to you while you were drunk.  But you… did let me touch your skin, even though I kept insisting that we should wait until you were sober, that way I knew if you actually wanted that, we could try, but only if you wanted to!”  He averted his gaze and rubbed the back of his neck. “This is sounding way worse than I hoped it would.”

“No!”  I exclaimed.  I took hold of both of his hands.  “Maverick, listen to me. I love you very much.  And yes, I think I’ve felt the same exact feelings you have, but I never said anything because… I’m terrified.  So, yes, in my drunken mess, I was probably being more honest with you about how I feel.” My gaze softened and I looked up at him.  “You are so, so kind to recognize that I wasn’t myself. Thank you, thank you for me honoring me and my…” I couldn’t think of the right word to say.

His thumb gently ran over my bottom lip.  “Innocence?” He was smiling as if he felt relieved.  “I would never break your trust like that, Angel, you have my word.”

I nodded, then stood, and then gently sat on his leg.  He was looking at me with widened optics. One of his hands gently placed on my side.  I leaned down and kissed him softly. He gladly reciprocated, and we stayed like that in silence.  When we parted, I smiled softly and leaned my head on his shoulder. I curled up against him, and Mav held me close.  I fell back asleep, curled up in his arms.

[marilyn-lucille-23]

The In-between

 Okay, this has a sort of slow start, but I kind of love it. Please give it a chance and leave comments. <3<3<3

Dim grey moonlight sunk in between the half open windows as Castiel laid on the shaggy carpet of a low-star hotel room. He stared out of the window at the abyss that nightfall brought and felt a sadness he’d never experienced.

The angel had previously never minded being alone, until “alone” meant being away from Dean Winchester. And now “alone” had a whole new and unique ache, as it had escalated into Castiel being lonely while in Dean’s presence. That was a different color of torture altogether.

The angel scrubbed his hands down his face weakly and rubbed his weary eyes.

He’d been laying in that exact spot for over three hours, contemplating his in-between feelings. He was in-between needing to maintain the deepest friendship he’d ever known, and needing Dean’s passionate love. He was nearly positive he couldn’t have both, but he was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, and knew he had to tell Dean.

Castiel was surprisingly calm since he had resolved that the hunter must know, although an occasional tear ran down his face as he wondered how to even begin to tell Dean how he felt. Castiel was prepared for complete rejection, but a part of him needed that rejection—so that he could put the all-consuming love he felt for the hunter away in a secret box inside himself and never re-visit it again. He was willing to be hurt if that meant he could move on.

How an angel of the Lord could fall in love was beyond Castiel’s understanding. He couldn’t explain the ins and outs of the emotions he felt for Dean. He had ceased to even care. Somethings, he had learned, were simply out of the realm of his control.

Castiel waited until the moon turned into a rising sun before he got up and packed his few belongings to head back to the bunker. He’d successfully closed a case that had proven to be un-supernatural. He was ready to be back “home” and back with his friends again. At the same time, his heart felt heavy in the face of having to do what simply must be done. Before he could mull over it for one more second, his wings came out and, in an instant, he zapped back to the kitchen of the bunker.

 He was greeted by Dean, who was stirring his morning coffee. Dean took his luggage and set it aside for him. Castiel gave a weak, defeated smile as he observed how kind Dean was. This was just one of the many reasons the angel loved him.

Although gruff, Dean was benevolent and protective towards those he cared for. He was especially protective over Castiel himself. 

“It wasn’t one of our cases at all” Castiel told Dean, as they both plopped down at the table in opposing chairs.

“A waste of time, eh?” Dean asked, and Castiel shook his head yes.

“Only the human monsters this time. The local police had it under control within a few hours.”

“Huh,” Dean huffed.

“Why’d you stay gone all night, then?”

There he was—the protective Dean.

“I was just having some down time. Doing some thinking.”

Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Since when do you need down time, Cas?”

Castiel was purely exhausted and didn’t have the nerve to explain himself. He shrugged and ignored the question.

“I know what it was.” Dean said in a playfully cocky way.

“You just couldn’t stop thinking about me and needed some ‘alone time’, am I right?” His perfectly arched eyebrows wiggled up and down.

A part of Castiel hated Dean for his flirtatious ways. He hated Dean for letting him think he had a chance at anything other than friendship with him.

“Dean, Dean, Dean.” The dark haired angel said seriously, shaking his head back and forth.

Dean cocked his head at Castiel and waited for what was to come next.

The two looked at each other in a moment of silence. Castiel didn’t know if he had the nerve to say a word more to Dean.

 Dean then asked what was wrong with him.

Suddenly Castiel heard everything he felt flowing out of his mouth in all the wrong ways.

“You, Dean. You are what is wrong with me.”

Dean jerked his head back and threw his hands up.

“What in the hell did I do to you?” He asked defensively.

“You exist.” Castiel said, shocked at how bluntly his words came out, but finding nothing else inside himself to cushion what he had to say. Frustration and weariness had worn him to the bone.

“Excuse me, Cas, but just who in the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” 

The angel had imagined a million times over how he’d tell the hunter that he loved him in more than a friendly way, and none of those instances started like this.

Castiel took a deep breath, formed small fists, and eyed Dean. Both men were now standing with the table between them.

Dean had a baffled look on his face.

“You exist to torture me, Dean.” Castiel said lowly as he looked away.

“Cas, you’re going to have to do better than this, because I’m not entirely sure what’s going through that angel mind of yours, but it doesn’t look like I’m the one being a jackass here.”

Castiel knew Dean was right, but logic wouldn’t settle into his mind.

“Fuck off, Dean.” Castiel said in a tone that didn’t seem to belong to him.

“No, Cas. You fuck off, coming at me like I’ve done something to you when I haven’t even seen you for two days.”

Dean snapped his fingers at Castiel.

“Snap out of it and tell me what the hell the issue is!”

“Shut up!”

Castiel could feel his heart throbbing in his ears, as he boiled with frustration. He tweaked his hand towards Dean and, without actually touching him, forced him lightly against the wall and held him there.

“You better let me go right now, you little bitch!”

“I’m not a bitch, I’m the best friend you have.”

“Maybe I’m missing something here, but friends don’t usually throw me against walls with their superhuman angel powers. And when you let me go, I’m gonna beat your ass.” Dean’s voice had gravel and grit and everything threatening in it.

“If I don’t keep you in spot, you won’t listen.”

“I’m not gonna listen to a fugging word you have to say while I’m pinned up here!” Dean yelled at the angel. “Let. Me. Down. NOW!” 

Castiel released his hold and Dean came at him, grabbing him by the shoulders and trapping him against the opposite wall that he had been pinned to. Castiel’s mess of unruly black hair fell in his face as his back hit the wall harder than Dean had probably intended. Dean was in Castiel’s personal space, screaming at him and demanding he say what was wrong. Castiel got the strength to shove Dean away from him and get out of the position he was stuck in. Dean’s face was red with anger as they both locked eyes warily. Castiel didn’t know if he was about to punch Dean, or get punched by Dean.

Hot tears began to emerge from Castiel’s eyes, against his will.  Dean’s face softened when he saw the stream flowing down Castiel’s cheeks. “Just… Tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, we’ll fix it.”

“I’M IN LOVE YOU.” Castiel screamed between gritted teeth at Dean, his head pounding and ears ringing.

Dean’s face fell and all of the fight he had in him seemed to wilt.

“You stupid, stupid son of a bitch.” Dean said in a low tone.

The hunter shook his head and looked Castiel up and down.

Castiel felt vulnerability and defeat wash over him.

“Yes, I know I’m stupid.” He said with a cracked voice. A rush of pink covered his face as he cleared his throat.

“I have nothing else to say.” He stated flatly and began to walk away.

“Get your ass back over here, you angelic, cowardly son of a bitch.” Dean yelled at Castiel’s back.

Castiel paused and looked over his shoulder at Dean, who was breathing heavily with a sort of panicked look on his face.

“So much for being best friends, I guess.” Castiel said, slumping away.

He could hear Dean’s stomping footsteps behind him, but continued to his room.

He considered coasting away to be alone, but the bunker had become his home just as much as it was Dean’s and Sam’s.

He went as far as his bedroom door and turned to look at Dean. His expression was unreadable.

Castiel slammed the door in Dean’s face.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his veins tingling in numb shock at what he’d just let happen. 

The angel didn’t realize that he’d neglected to lock the door until Dean burst in.

“Since when do angel’s cry?” Dean demanded.

Castiel didn’t feel like speaking to Dean in that moment, but couldn’t seem to tell him to leave.

“It’s possible. Living with you and Sam on this earth for so many years has humanized me and—”

“Made you vulnerable?” Dean finished his sentence for him.

“It would appear that way.” Castiel stared at the floor.

“What do you want, Dean?” I know how you feel. I knew it would be a disaster to tell you.” Castiel heaved a great sigh.

“Just leave me be.” 

“Castiel, you listen to me.” Dean took a serious tone.

“I really wish you’d just let me be alone in my bad spirits.” Castiel tried again.

“Welp, I’m sorry, but I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want to pull that angel mojo on me again.”

“Whatever.”

Castiel bit his bottom lip, trying to get the leaking from his eyes to subside and hating himself for ever thinking that his confession could turn out to be anything but traumatic.

“You’re like a pouting little teenage girl, you know that?”

Castiel glared at Dean.

“Why won’t you just get out?” Castiel pleaded with him, not wanting to be this pathetic in front of anyone, especially Dean.

“Because, this isn’t over.”

“What isn’t over? There was never anything to be over. I love you, you love women. I’m a non-mortal freak. It’s all simple enough.”

“Ok, Cas, now you’re just being dramatic.” Dean said with a hint of a snarky tone.

He moved closer to Castiel’s bed, knelt down in front of the tearful angel and wiped the back of his hand down one cheek, trying to soothe the droplets away.

“Why are you so mad at me, Cas?” Dean asked with furrowed brows.

“I’m not even mad.” Castiel admitted.

Dean stared at him. “So, you confess your feelings like that and then we’re good?”

“No, we’re not good. We’ll never be good.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because, you’ll never feel the same, and my feelings will never change.” Castiel stated firmly, looking regretfully into Dean’s eyes.

“Ok, Angel. Number one, YOU have no idea how I feel. I assume you haven’t been frolicking around in my thoughts and dreams, am I right?”  Castiel tried to answer no, but Dean cut him off.

“Eh Eh Eh.” Dean chided, as if trying to stop a dog from indulging in a bad habit. It made Castiel shut up immediately. He sat on his bed looking forlorn and red eyed.

“See, you may have feelings, but you still have no communication skills.” Dean began light heartedly.

“And you do?” The angel bit back.

“Because the last time I checked, you couldn’t be honest about your feelings for one single damn day.”

Dean looked offended.

“You wanna know how I feel, Cas?” Dean asked, a hint of danger in his voice.

“Sure.” Castiel said lamely, looking away and expecting insults. 

Instead of an insult, or any words at all, for the matter, Dean was suddenly pushing Castiel on to his back. For a moment Castiel feared that Dean was giving in to violent tendencies.

He felt his stomach flip as a portion of Dean’s weight landed on top of him. Dean’s hands were tight around Castiel’s wrists, holding him in place. Dean moved swiftly to straddle the angel, whose mind was spiraling with the question of whether or not to fight the hunter off.

Dean’s face was inches from Castiel. The angel’s heartbeat was uneven as Dean’s lips moved so close to his that he felt the air from his breath when he spoke.

“You want the truth?”

Castiel didn’t make a sound, but minutely nodded his head ‘yes’.

“Truth!?” He repeated harshly, pinning Castiel’s wrists harder into the bed. He was somehow even closer now, so that Castiel could almost feel his friend’s lips move on his.

Castiel gave another slight nod, refusing to look at Dean, until Dean demanded that he do so.

Uncertainty floated in the air thickly as Castiel shrunk under Dean’s weight. He obeyed and wantonly gazed into Dean’s heavily dilated eyes.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Cas.” Dean whispered.

Although that was reassuring, Castiel’s breathing was heavier than he could ever remember it being, with feelings coursing through his body that he’d only ever imagined before.

“What’s the truth?” Castiel questioned lowly with every ounce of courage he possessed.

“I think you’re a stupid son of a bitch for not telling me sooner.” Dean finally answered.

Dean loosened his grip on Castiel’s wrists, raising up slightly on one arm to run a hand through Castiel’s dark hair, then cradled his head in his hand. Castiel looked up with vivid wide eyes at the man he so desperately desired, with something akin to panic threatening his heaving body.

Dean lifted Castiel’s head and lowed his own, touching his lips against his shaking friend.

The kiss was a quick one. Dean pulled back. He narrowed his eyes down at Castiel.

“You know how to kiss, right, Cas?” Dean had disbelief in his tone and a raised left eyebrow.

Castiel stared silently at his friend for a solid 15 seconds.

“Dean, I don’t even know if I have any blood flowing into my brain at this very moment.”

“You know where all that blood goes, right?”

Castiel gave Dean a deer-in-the-headlights expression. Dean smirked, showing a flash of sharp canine teeth, and before he could respond to the smart mouthed question, Dean fished his hands down Castiel’s chest, and stopped no further than to feel the hardness that he had through his trousers. Castiel’s lower body did a needy sort of reverse flinch into Dean’s hands.

“Slow down, Cowboy,” Dean said with a crooked grin.

A mixture of the heat of raging hormones and the sting of embarrassment danced inside Castiel’s body, forcing his feelings onto his face in a flush.

Castiel’s mouth gapped open slightly as he tried hard to remember how to breathe. Dean took this opportunity to kiss his friend properly. He steadied himself and put both of his calloused hands around Castiel’s cheeks. He slipped his tongue between Castiel’s split lips, and the angel panted into Dean’s mouth helplessly as he tried to follow the hunter’s moves to the best of his ability. His tongue cautiously grazed Dean’s.

Dean, being Dean, took lead of the situation, guiding Castiel’s tongue in what felt like a serene sort of slow dance inside his mouth. Castiel finally felt the closeness he had yearned so terribly for.

Castiel thought that, between the thumping of his heart and the throbbing in his now uncomfortably tight trousers, he was going to explode right then and there.

“Shh…Calm down…” Dean said faintly in a raspy tone that Castiel had never heard from him, even in his drunken flirtations of days gone by.

Castiel was unassuming and meek. He vaguely began to wonder why Dean was doing this.

Surely he didn’t have the same effect on Dean as Dean had on him.

However, Dean continued and when he broke the kiss to move his attention to Castiel’s neck, Castiel quickly forgot what he was wondering.

Without giving himself permission to do so, a gasp escaped Castiel’s mouth, and his whole body rose up to collide with Dean’s. He was out of his mind, out of control, and out of breath.

Dean made a slow lick from Castiel’s Adam’s apple all the way up to his earlobe and then paused to make eye contact again.

When Castiel tried to focus on Dean’s pool of green eyes that only shone as bright as the antique light in his room with a 20watt bulb would allow, the hunter looked fuzzy. 

“Cas…You okay?” He traced his fingertips down Castiel’s lips.

“I never knew…You’re so gentle.”

Castiel felt as though he couldn’t find any words in his vocabulary to express what he was trying to convey.

“What’d you expect?” Dean asked perplexedly.

“For you to punch me in the face.”

Dean chuckled nervously.

“I doubt that’s what you wanted, though.”

Dean allowed a small opening of space between them.

Castiel gave a nod of agreement.

“You never thought I might feel some sort of way toward you, Cas?” Dean said, climbing off of Castiel and laying down on his back beside his him, taking a deep breath of his own. He adjusted a noticeable bulge in his blue jeans and Castiel felt a dash of happiness surge through his chest.

“All those flirtations weren’t always made as a joke.” He confessed with closed eyes.

Castiel propped up on his right elbow to face Dean.

“So you wanted this?”

Dean laughed with wholesomeness and flattened a palm against his forehead.

“I just raped you with my mouth. What do you think?”

Castiel crooked his head to one side and studied the hunter’s face. Dean gazed at him with a small smile on his lips. Slowly, Castiel smiled back.

“Get the fuck over here, Cas.” 

[creativerogues]

Hunger of Yeenoghu: Turning Normal Monsters into A Full Campaign...

Hunger of Yeenoghu: A Campaign about Gnolls!

“-They see signs from Yeenoghu everywhere, even in blood splatter.-”

- Elminster

The madness of the gnolls spreads, their hunger grows and nothing shall satiate it...

Yeenoghu’s madness extends...

He yearns to create a world where his gnolls are the last creatures left alive, tearing one another apart for the right to feast upon the endless dead.

Hunger of Yeenoghu is a campaign I’ve ran several times in many different versions of D&D because not only does it take a pretty ‘meh’ opponent, a Gnoll, and make them a terrifying force of madness, but it allows for the campaign to span multiple continents and means players have the freedom to explore what the heck is making these gnolls so damn crazy and hungry, but also let’s them fight a demon lord at the end! Yay?

I’ve wanted to share this for a while now, but wanted to make sure I had as many resources to share as I could find to really help any DM out there create a Campaign centered around Gnolls and their endless hunger and devotion to Yeenoghu...

This is also a way to show people how you can make an entire campaign based around just a few creatures from the Monster Manual, in this case, Gnolls!

I’ve had many long chats with people in the Community saying “I wanna make a campaign based around this monster” and I thought I’d show how I would go about making a campaign...

Things you can do for this Campaign:

1. Show Gnoll Culture, Religion and Society

A lot of common folk see Gnolls as savage beasts with endless hunger, and while a lot of the time they are, they do have at least some form of order in all that madness.

Gnolls have placed a very strong value on family for instance, respecting blood ties perhaps more than any other aspect of a relationship.

They work in packs, and though gnolls within a pack will fight with each other for dominance, these battles are quickly forgotten after their resolution, and in most situations, gnolls of the same bloodline are loyal friends and allies to one another.

This loyalty to family was particularly obvious during combat, Gnolls who fight side by side regularly will throw away personal glory in order to help their brethren.

This is all from the ‘Gnoll’ section of the Forgotten Realms Wikia, but just from this you can see there’s more to Gnolls than simply just killing whenever they’re bored...

2. Show Variant Gnolls

It is believed by some that gnolls have traces of demonic blood, which may be evidenced by unusual features found among some of the gnoll bloodlines. These may include talons, gleaming red eyes, or black fur with fiery orange spots.

- Forgotten Realms Wikia

Gnolls, much like people in real life, come in all shapes, sizes, colors and personalities.

And even in 5th Edition there’s many different stat blocks for different types of Gnolls...

But you can see just from scrolling down and reading more of the resources I’ve put at the end of this post that there are many many different types of Gnolls from older editions that you could very easily create stat blocks for in 5th Edition.

Sure, your Players have probably fought a Gnoll or two before, but what happens when that Gnoll’s body suddenly shifts and twists into the form of a giant hyena, and starts pouncing on the party with it’s disease-ridden bite attack...

Not only does it provide a little variety in the Gnolls that you’ll be throwing at your Players, but it catches them off guard and makes them say “Wait. WHAT?” when you show them something they’ve never seen before...

Simply just take the stats of a 5e Gnoll, change nothing about them at all, but describe this gnoll as being unusually tall, with long thin talons for claws and deep black fur across it’s body, with fiery orange hyena-like patterns of spots across it’s back, and as the party stares they see in this gnoll’s skull two bright, gleaming red eyes staring back at them, as the head twists back and releases a howl...

Again, just a regular ol’ gnoll in terms of stats, but describing the varying appearance of a gnoll makes the players go ‘Oh neat!’ or even ‘That guy’s a badass, stay away from him.’ even though stats-wise it’s just a normal gnoll that looks different... 

3. It allows a DM to be truly Mad and Brutal

You could literally start the campaign off with Level 1-3 Characters chill-laxing in a small town, and then BOOM! GNOLLS ATTACK! 

BLOOD EVERYWHERE! Dead bodies hitting the ground left and right and the players realize they are not gonna get outta there alive unless they run, and only when they escape the town and look back do they notice the scale of the assault...

This kind of campaign lets the DM go truly mad, since all gnolls care about is trying to feed their endless demonic hunger with the flesh of sentient beings.

Gnolls are gathering and their hunger grows with each passing day. Sometimes the party will just have to run away because they know that not only are they outnumbered, but these gnolls are willing to fight to the death for food...

4. Show the ‘Madness of Yeenoghu’

‘A blood red sun hangs low in a sickly green sky, illuminating the slaughter...’

That’s just one line to describe how Yeenoghu’s madness begins to spread, and the gnolls only see it as a sign of love from their demon lord patron.

Perhaps even describe how the players themselves start to feel a sickly hunger building in their stomachs, one that can only be satisfied by drinking the blood of another, by consuming the flesh of their allies... 

Show them what it’s like to feel the endless agony that is the hunger of a gnoll.

Gnoll Stats, Resources & The Different Types of Gnolls

5th Edition

Gnoll: If you’ve gotten to this point in the post and still don’t know what a Gnoll is, shame on you. But if you don’t know, well I’ll explain:

Gnolls resemble human-hyena hybrids, they’re carnivorous, brutal, savage and they’re always hungry.

Fang of Yeenoghu: Sometimes Yeenoghu rewards his Gnoll worshipers by allowing one of them to be possessed by a demonic spirit. Marked as Yeenoghu's favorite special good-boy gnoll, the lucky recipient becomes a Fang of Yeenoghu, the chosen of the Gnoll Lord.

Gnoll Packlord: The alpha of a gnoll pack is the pack lord, ruling by might and cunning. A pack lord earns the best of a gnoll pack's spoils, food, valuable trinkets, and magic items. It ornaments its body with brutal piercings and grotesque trophies, dyeing its fur with demonic sigils, hoping Yeenoghu will make it invulnerable.

Flind: A flind is an exceptionally strong and vicious gnoll that commands and directs the war band it is a part of. It wields a flail imbued with powerful magic by Yeenoghu himself. 

Gnoll Flesh Gnawer: If any group of gnolls could be said to be more feral than the others, that distinction would go to the flesh gnawers. These gnolls eschew the use of ranged weapons in favor of short blades that they wield with speed and efficiency.

Gnoll Hunter: Hunters are the stealthiest gnolls in a war band, and they put their talents to use on the battlefield picking off isolated opposition while clearing the way for the rest of the force to run roughshod over the enemy's territory.

Leucrotta: A leucrotta is what you would get if you took the head of a giant badger, the brain of a person who likes to torture and eat people, the legs of a deer, and the body of a large hyena, put them together, and reanimated them with demon ichor without bothering to cover up the stink of death...

Gnoll Witherling: By invoking rituals to Yeenoghu, they bring the remains of a dead gnoll back to some semblance of life in the form of a gnoll witherling.

Shoosuva: A shoosuva is a hyena-demon gifted by Yeenoghu to an especially powerful gnoll (typically as a Fang of Yeenoghu). A shoosuva manifests shortly after a war band achieves a great victory, emerging from a billowing, fetid cloud of smoke as it arrives from the Abyss.

4th Edition

Gnoll Huntmaster: A Gnoll Huntmaster often delays its initial turn, waiting until its allies move in and attack. The creature stays at the edge of its range, attacking with its longbow and using its ‘Pack Attack’ feature to deal extra damage.

Gnoll Claw Fighter: This gnoll charges into the fray, using melee attacks to make claw attacks, positioning itself to reap the benefit of its ‘Pack Attack’ feature to deal extra damage.

Gnoll Marauder: Gnoll Marauders gang up on a single target to gain the benefit of their ‘Pack Attack’ feature. It uses its ‘Quick Bite’ against any foes on low hit points whenever possible.

Gnoll Demonic Scourge: This gnoll leads weaker gnolls into battle, imparting the benefits of its ‘Leader of the Pack’ aura while commanding nearby allies to concentrate their attacks on one target at a time.

Deathpledged Gnoll: A Deathpledged Gnoll vows to die destroying the enemies of Yeenoghu. Its dark oath and a thirst for blood make this creature a frightful foe. In return for its vow to its demon lord Yeenoghu, a deathpledged gnoll can temporarily shrug off death with potent demonic powers.

Gnoll Gorger: All Gnolls devour the flesh of sentient creatures, but Gnoll Gorgers gain strength in battle by feasting on their own kind...

AD&D First Edition

Ghuuna: Ghuuna (the form is singular and plural) are related to gnolls in much the same way that lycanthropes are related to humans. However, ghuuna are the result of a special type of quasi-lycanthropy created by Yeenoghu that affects only gnolls, causing them to change into a giant hyena-like form. 

In their normal unchanged form, ghuuna appear to be large gnolls. In this form they shun armor and usually carry swords as weapons. In their giant, hyena-like form, ghuuna can deliver a ‘Crushing Bite’ for 4d4 points of damage.

In addition, their bite can inflict "ghuunism" among gnolls in the same manner that lycanthropy is spread by regular were-creatures.

Humans and humanoids (other than gnolls) who are bitten must succeed on a constitution save or be affected by disease, which can be cured by a healing spells or similar magic. 

Each ghuuna can command and control hyenas, although they cannot summon them.

Wherever ghuuna to be present in a war band, they act as leaders and protectors. Only gnoll shamans and strong chieftains have more "push" in a gnoll band than ghuuna do. 

Female ghuuna are nearly the only respected females in a gnoll band. 

Ghuuna may communicate with hyena in addition to speaking the usual languages a gnoll may know.

They rarely intentionally spread "ghuunism" among gnolls, preferring to be "the few and the proud."

Gnoll Research Resources

There are many resources besides Wikipedia and Wikia that can give a BUNCH of info and lore on Gnolls, the different types, their mythology, culture, religion, society, their worship of Yeenoghu, the Demon Lord of the Gnolls and more...

So rather than name each of them and what each contains, I’m simply going to make a bullet point list of every resource I can find so you can do your own reading and research:

5th Edition: Volo's Guide to Monsters (2016)

5th Edition: Monster Manual (2014)

4th Edition: Monster Manual (2008)

4th Edition: Monster Manual 2 (2009)

4th Edition: Dragon Magazine #367, ‘Playing Gnolls’ (2008)

3.5e: Monster Manual (2003)

3rd Edition: Monster Manual (2000)

3rd Edition: Monster Manual III (2004)

2nd Edition: The Complete Book of Humanoids (1993)

2nd Edition: Player's Option: Skills & Powers (1995)

2nd Edition: Dragon Magazine #173 ‘The Sociology of the Flind’ (1991)

2nd Edition: Monstrous Compendium Volume One (1989)

2nd Edition: Monstrous Manual (1993)

1st Edition: Dragon Magazine #89 ‘Creature Catalog’ (September 1984)

1st Edition: Dragon Magazine #63 ‘The Humanoids’ (July 1982)

1st Edition: Fiend Folio (1981)

[loquaciousquark]

Critical Role Wrap-Up Tell-All, Summary Post

Missed the first few minutes, but here we go! New campaign starts Jan. 11! No episode next week for Christmas.

First round of questions: Episodes 1-23: The Underdark.

They trusted Clarota more than Kima because the girls were super proud of finding him and they liked the underdog story of befriending the cast-out. Travis brings up writing “I don’t trust Clarota” five weeks running.

Matt designed the entire duergar city around the stronghold (including social encounters) that they missed. They also saw a shimmering portal to the Far Realm that they could have used but bypassed.

Matt had multiple layers for the actual pyramid he’d envisioned as a dungeon crawl, which the players completely bypassed by flying up & dropping a giant on top of it.

Re: Vax’s insight check on Keyleth: the DM said that Keyleth seemed unsure, scared, and cut off from the surface. Liam found that was the first time in the entire campaign he didn’t feel Vax questioning Keyleth’s decisions. This may have been the beginning of the crush. (Sidebar: Marisha is wearing a slate blue dress, gold heels, and stockings, and looks stunning.) 

The Earth Ashari visions occurred right after Keyleth killed the kid in terms of plot. She was having a hard time with magic & spells out of fear, and Marisha used it as a catalyst to have her come to terms with the costs of inaction. “You figure it out or you die.”

None of the players felt there was much of a change in their characterizations in transferring from the home games to the show. This is also the point they switched to Vox Machina instead of the SHITS. Taliesin feels they would have done this in universe even without the show; Laura felt it was driven by the knowledge they would be streaming shortly.

Matt: “It would have had to have been a lot of work and roleplaying” to get Clarota to turn on the Elder Brain, but it was not impossible. Laura: “He’s Hugh! From Star Trek. :(”

Percy flashed his name so much in the beginning in an effort to put out feelers for information. Matt points out that what happened to the de Rolos was kept very quiet outside of Whitestone--the Briarwoods circulated a rumor that the de Rolos had gotten ill and died and their close friends had taken over. Percy would have been assumed to be a distant relative if recognized at all. “Who knows the name of the royal family of Nova Scotia?”

Ashley wanted Pike to be stronger after she died so that she could offer more to the fights than just healing. She felt that spending time on The Broken Howl would have improved her strength. (Brian tells us that Ashley lived on a boat for a while as a kid and knows her way around ships, which surprises some of the cast too.)

Percy had to make his bullets (as opposed to Vex having to buy arrows) because bullets don’t exist in this world. Vex also bought a thousand arrows right before the show started and put them in the bag of holding, and Matt was glad not to have to track it.

Liam thinks the real feelings for Keyleth may have started with the whisper, but does remember intending to keep it very very quiet up until Vax almost died in the Briarwoods arc.

Grog has no idea where/who his mother is. In the herd, you love who you love, have a kid, and teach the kid to fight, and he did not care about her existence until he met Pike and learned what a nurturing relationship could be like. 

Matt forgot Grog’s last name was Strongjaw because they didn’t use last names much in the home game. That his dad’s name was Stonejaw was a complete coincidence that wasn’t put together until much later.

One of the members of the Arcana Pansophical was the one who put out the contract on the rakshasa. The idea was that they were working on a portal that connected to the Nine Hells and needed parts for the ritual (either not understanding or caring about the cycle of revenge).

Matt already had the Kima/Allura relationship in his mind from the second session ever in the home game. He had envisioned a past possible fling, but the Underdark arc allowed them to rekindle their relationship. He had no idea that they would become so beloved in the fandom.

Marisha had no idea that Keyleth’s antlers would become so iconic. In the home game, she had an undescribed circlet that was the last relic from her mother, and Kit Buss was the one who drew it as antlers. Kit also created Vex’s feathers, and everyone wove them backwards in time to create them. Kit also created Percy’s four-lens glasses.

Matt designed the Thunderbrands to be allies in the journey in the Underdark, including sending a Thunderbrand family mage along with them--there was a lost family member they were supposed to find. (Instead, VM attacked their wards with magic and Scanlan snuck inside while invisible for no reason, so that plot thread died.) They did find the necklace that belonged to this person. 

When Ioun was wounded during the Calamity, her followers had to go into hiding (including Osysa, who is apparently quite old). Matt envisions them as equivalents to modern-day truth societies that emerge, disseminate truth, and go into hiding again. The Slayer’s Take is a cover for this society.

Matt declines to divulge the location of the other Horn of Orcus, as it still exists in the world. :O

CR Stats Break! 10,819 total rolls throughout the campaign, 548 total natural 20s, 497 natural 1s. Most natural 20s: Vax with 107, Percy with 104. Most natural 1s: Vex with 76, Vax with 61. Travis gets great delight out of Laura’s dice’s betrayal.

Episodes 24-48: The Briarwood Arc.

Seeker Asum’s dinner plan (before Vax ruined it) was to find proof that the Briarwoods didn’t actually have the political power to build the bridge over the Searing Channel to Wildemount.

Travis, re: the shaving of half of Grog’s beard--”That was a pretty hot moment.” That kicked off months of Grog trying to get Vax back. “A new world order had started.” However, Vax was too slippery and often frustrated Grog. Liam didn’t realize how furious Travis was until much later. “It was magical, I figured it would just come back! I thought it was tit for tat. I was wrong.”

The woman Percy saw with his natural 20 was just a hunter citizen with her wolves, which was intended as an opportunity to either gain information about the state of the city or (if it had gone poorly), a chance for her to report back to the Briarwoods and given them an advantage over VM.

Liam genuinely thought Vax was going to die during the Briarwood attack. He intended it as a monologue to exit the game. (”The stuff with Kiki had started, but Vax’s world was still 98% his sister.”)

Sam knew Percy’s gun had to be destroyed because he “did crazy shit with it and--weren’t you marking stuff off it all the time? That’s weird!” Everyone enjoys the memory of Percy/Taliesin’s real shock and upset. Sam genuinely hadn’t thought he would be upset at all and was surprised at how mad he was. Taliesin is still upset he never managed to build another one because of how priceless it was. “It was priceless! It was--Two magical elements welded into--oh, Lord!” Matt says the only other way to break the curse would have been to go kill Orthax in the Abyss. Taliesin points out that means Orthax is still out there. Matt: “As far as you know.”

Matt wants the new story to be wholly unique and new. There will be VM choices that will affect the world, but it won’t be a direct continuation.

Taliesin only told Matt that the Briarwoods murdered his family & deliberately kept it as limited as possible. He didn’t know anything about them. (Matt points out it’s good to only write as much as your character knows when creating a backstory.)

Matt: Delilah was a lesser mage working at an academy in the Dwendalian Empire (they were minor nobles), and her husband had gotten sick. She went to find a cure & found one, but by the time she got back, her husband was dead. She was so distraught she began “screaming into the astral sea and one day, a whisper answered back, ‘I can help you,’” which was Vecna. These whispers continued, leading her to one of Vecna’s old laboratories (guarded by an undead creature so old he’d forgotten his own name), where she found the secrets of vampirism in exchange for now owing Vecna her life. However, because of her toying with illegal necromancy, they were pursued, discovered, hunted, arrested, escaped, and hunted again for execution, which is why they fled the empire to the Menagerie Coast, which is where they ran into Ripley who was fleeing her own hunters. They began working together there and had heard about Whitestone, so this is where they began getting them to take their guard down (since Whitestone had gone to such lengths to cut themselves off politically). Taliesin notes that he’d not intended to give them supernatural powers, but during their creation he had thought of a ghost story in New Orleans where survivors of a horrible fire got into a coach and left, even though they shouldn’t have been alive, so he enjoyed the similarities in the tone of their love story.

Vex had feelings for Percy already at this point. “Darling, take the mask off.” She also thinks the darkness attracted her to him more.

Percy didn’t know the voice in his head was real. The smoke in the show was the first time it had ever happened. Liam notes they’d never had any hints of demonic power in the home game. Matt says the demon would never have manifested until Percy confronted someone directly from his revenge list.

Trusting the DM with your stories and mysteries is half the fun, according to Laura. Matt feels it gives him the opportunity to collaborate with the players.

Sam: “The first session [of the new campaign] is just going to be asking Travis why he’s talking like that.”

Keyleth was close to leaving the party at the beginning of this arc. She had issues with some of VM’s moral decisions and felt she had to continue her Aramente.

If Ripley had been left in her cell & was unable to escape, and they had figured out who she was, she would have done everything in her power to convince them she was as used and abused as everyone else (such as Cassandra) until the first opportunity to escape.

The dead de Rolos were left in public in Whitestone after the coup (they were the first to hang from the Sun Tree) in almost the exact same arrangement Matt used for the VM effigies later. VM did not ever fight their skeletons. Percy: “It’s just one more ghost story for that bloody castle. It’s highly appropriate for Whitestone.”

Ashley likes to think Pike’s ability to astral project is because she’s special to Sarenrae, but feels it’s just a reality of her city/film situation.

Matt says Delilah’s ritual actually succeeded, that she just didn’t know what she was looking for. She created the siphon, which was the whole purpose of the ritual. VM might have discovered that it had been successful if they’d spent more time with it. Delilah realized later (after reincarnating into her clone body) that she had fully done her part and Vecna was pleased.

Re: Craven Edge: Travis had no idea what a sentient weapon was and was just entranced with the description of the fancy sword. He was excited when Percy got nervous reading the card and was completely surprised when Matt began talking. “Grog was just enjoying this new friend that helped him shish-kabob people really well.”

Matt intended the acid trap to be broken by strength towards the wall, blocking the acid chutes, or by using another button on the wall Vax didn’t find. No one remembers how they actually got out.

If Scanlan had learned of Kaylie first before she found him, he would have probably run away from the information.

For Taliesin, the final barrel on the List was meant for “Percy’s acknowledgement that the List was not the end,” that this was an unending cycle he was starting. The empty barrel was meant to be the start of a brand new List, that he had started a revenge run that would never end. Percy was glad to kill thousands of people indirectly to kill these five directly--he knew what he was doing the whole time in the creation of these deadly weapons, which is part of why he says so often that Percy is a terrible person. (He clarifies it was never intended for himself.)

Vex got Simon back by flirting with the guards. “There was a lot of winking involved.”

Matt had always intended Cassandra to be the final name on the gun. Matt didn’t know Taliesin had intended the same thing in re: revenge not ending and reveals that if he’d killed those six, another six would have appeared. Tal and Matt are both delighted by this reveal of their minds working in the same direction. (Sam: “I knew that. I knew aaaaaaall that.”)

Marisha hadn’t intended Keyleth’s leadership to begin to emerge here (the roc, the skeleton army), and thinks Keyleth didn’t fully believe it herself until she got the mantle. She does remember the kraken fight as one of the first moments she forced herself to step up and take responsibility. Liam notes her decision to take as many as she could at the end of that fight as a good leadership moment.

Marisha asks Matt what would have happened if she hadn’t rolled a natural 20 on the ziggurat. Matt says the DC was an 18 to resist the impact--if she hadn’t, she’d have gone through, taken a ton of damage, and been thrust into the Shadowfell on the outskirts of Thar Amphala. It would have changed the story if Keyleth had survived the damage to return safely & reveal Vecna’s plot early. However, no one would have even known she’d been gone. Matt realizes belatedly that it would have been horrible to have such an emotional success on this arc only to have a beloved character suddenly disappear without warning (if she’d failed the DC and died in Thar Amphala). When they’d finally gotten to Thar Amphala at the end, there would have been an undead Keyleth to fight.

CR Stats Break! 50,074 damage dealt in total. Most damage taken: 5646, Grog. Most damage dealt: 10,038, Grog.

Episodes 39-83: The Chroma Conclave!

Matt had decided who would die in Emon before the attack. He wanted a central figure (and a powerful ally) to die to emphasize the danger. The most brave, resolute members of the Council were the most likely to throw their lives away.

Liam doesn’t know if Vax would have left VM if the Conclave hadn’t attacked. He would have been conflicted, tap-dancing around why he was there. The prank war with Grog had escalated into head-butting; Vex would have left with Vax if he’d firmly made the decision, even if she didn’t like it.

The attack was just a coincidence with being the same day VM messed with the orbs. It was all long-planned by Raishan. However, the orbs allowed Thordak & Raishan to recognize VM as meddlers & to get information on them earlier than otherwise.

Matt had planned the Conclave attack since Krieg’s original introduction. Coincidentally, if they were still playing at the home game pace of once every six weeks, that would have been this weekend.

Percy was calm in the Grog fight because he knew what was in all the bottles/kilns and because he knew he could give Grog disadvantage on every attack. He would have set him on fire/acid and blinded him as quickly as possible. Liam thinks Grog would have still turned Freddy into paste. 

Gilmore was one choice from dying when they found him. If they’d gone for the treasure, he would have been dead by the time they found him. It was meant to be a crux choice in learning what it meant in moments of crisis to choose against your own greed. Liam points out that the last times they had dealt with death at this point were the home game and Vex’s death. They had no idea what the rituals were or really what they entailed; they had no idea what permanence it would have. Every death was rough, but in the beginning it was very unsettling.

Vex found a bunch of love letters from Gilmore and his first boyfriend under Gilmore’s bed. It was good confirmation they were in Gilmore’s actual room. Matt says it was another Marquesian (Markeesian?) boy that he would have had to name on the spot if pressed.

Vesh was “a dangerous entity for the levels you were dealing with at the time.” Vex’s resurrection ritual piqued her interest and would have resulted in her turning her eyes to VM if the Raven Queen had not intervened. Matt: “So much turned on that choice!” Also Matt: “Vesh isn’t necessarily a god, though she likes to say she is and Kashaw believes she is.”

The boon of the Dawn Martyr was a huge part of Pike feeling important in battle/getting the courage to be in the middle, knowing it would be okay if she got knocked out a few times. Grog, tearfully: “It’s not okay!”

Sam asks who the guy she was in love with for the second time. Ashley ignores him. “Oh, I heard him, I’m just not acknowledging it!” Everyone, including me, dies a little inside.

Matt envisions Kevdak getting the Knuckles by chance, by beating the previous owner to a bloody pulp. (Kevdak was not the herd leader at the time.) He had no aspirations beyond taking what he wanted and expanding the herd. Then the Conclave attacked and distracted the guards of Westruun, and he saw this as an opportunity to carve their way into the city. He saw himself bending Umbrasyl to his will later once the herd was stronger.

Ashley interrupts the timeline to ask Matt about what was in Senokir’s box because she can’t stand it anymore. She forgot to tell Matt she wanted to go look for it during the plot break and has been kicking herself the whole time. Matt confirms it was legitimately, 100% his wife’s ashes. “Let this be a lesson to you; not every NPC is out to get you.” Ashley: “I still don’t believe you!”

Liam had planned on multiclassing into Paladin even before the Raven Queen’s tomb. He saw purpose he lacked in Pike, then began to consider it when Taliesin made an offhanded comment about him going cleric. Liam alludes to a rough time in his personal life and talks about an out-of-game meeting where he was very, very upset with how the game had turned that day in the tomb. “It was heavy on top of my heavy, and I was not happy.” He says he wouldn’t change it for anything, now.

Liam asks Matt about Fate-touched. Matt says he knew Liam was going through tough stuff and wanted to give him a little hope in the middle of personal difficulties. He had no idea when it was going to come up--he’d envisioned later in the story when they were dealing with more divinity, that one of the gods then would have commented on it. Liam gets up and briefly bows at Matt’s feet.

Laura asks if there are more cookies and is given permission to get them at the break.

Travis had no idea if he could win solo against Kevdak, but wanted to start the fight that way. He got to face him on his terms, and that was all he wanted. Matt says he could have actually won the fight, but the dice were against him.

Laura doesn’t think she deserved that change in alignment. “All I did was steal a broom! I was gonna give him a whole bunch of dragon scales but he walked away too fast!” Liam is shocked Vex’s alignment changed and Percy’s didn’t; Matt says thoughts don’t necessitate alignment change, but that shooting the kid through the hand put him very, very close. If Laura had stolen the broom for a greater purpose, he wouldn’t have changed her, but it was purely selfish. However, he feels alignment shouldn’t guide roleplay, it should be reactive to the roleplay. “It’s not a big deal.”

Sam reads the letter he wrote to Pike. [Edit: transcribed here.] My fingers wither in anticipation. I can’t keep up. He tells her his age and says he realized his soul would be forever incomplete the moment he met her. It’s a darned good letter and Sam comments on that: “Jesus, this is good.” He compares her gloriously to the sun and asks her to protect Kaylie. “Don’t you see? This whole time, I thought I was chasing a lover, but instead I was chasing a mother for my child. You are the savior for my daughter I could never be. In death, my heart will be beside you in Kaylie.” Sam legitimately tears up reading the end and I do too, a little. Wow. Travis: “Don’t you feel bad for reading that early?” Ashley: “Nope!”

Matt intended certain vestiges for certain players, but didn’t have plans for the Ward, Cabal’s Ruin, or other open-ended vestiges. He didn’t know who would take the Ward. Laura’s still bitter about the wings.

Re: Percy’s death ritual--Taliesin planned to ignore any attempts to call upon a god to help him. He was looking for reasons to come back, but thought it would be a great end to Percy’s character if it panned out that way. Elements of Taliesin’s next character started originally as Percy’s replacement.

Raishan was trying to do an ancient variant of Speak With Dead with Thordak’s corpse. She was concocting an intense version that tortures and forces information that would be true. She wanted the secret to getting rid of her disease and got Opesh’s lair location, then the rest of the information she needed once she arrived at the lair. (Matt confirms the soul curse on Raishan was real, and that she can see truth, which is how she knew Thordak genuinely knew how to cure her.)

Eggs: Thordak was mutating, becoming something new. The Soul Anchor began to change him in the Fire Plane & allowed him to asexually create progeny (”like Jurassic Park!”). They were a new elemental species. “We killed them all!” “As far as you know.” “Oh no!”

CR Stats Break! 86 total Grog rages. 3658 healing from Pike. 474 Vex arrows shot. Percy misfires: 36. DM facepalms: 264. Keyleth beast shapes: 110 (most used: 15 Earth elemental). 136 Scanlan inspirations, and every one of them gold. Vax: 21 one-shot kills. (Tal: “21 friends we never got to make.”)

Episode break, featuring guest stars! (No actual break, which means that bottle of water I drank earlier is now only suffering.) Attending tonight are Darin de Paul (Sprigg), Mary Elizabeth McGlynn (Zahra), Will Friedle (Kashaw), Jason Charles Miller (Garthok), and Noelle Stevenson (Tova).

On the biggest difference between the show & their home games: Mary & Will had never played before, so it was all new to them. Both preferred learning by fire. Darin feels it’s ultimately acting, “yes, and,” and loved it. Noelle points out that people are a lot more invested in her character than other players would be in a home game, and enjoys that feedback. Will agrees, since he never cared about anything like this before playing himself. Darin: “When you play at home, you don’t get fanart.” Mary loves the community & shared world-creating. Jason loves “what happens after” the game and how people can love your character more than you.

Mary was terrified on her first game. Her whole philosophy was, “Don’t kill the team. Don’t kill VM.” However, since she was so comfortable with Laura & Travis, she felt free to make mistakes. Will’s philosophy was to “smile, nod, and shift papers like I know what I’m doing.” At one point, Wil Wheaton told him to “turn undead” & he had no idea clerics could do that. However, when Will and Mary got to go back on the show, they spent time ahead teaming up and figuring out what their bond was, and that’s how their relationship started.

Darin’s first live show on set was the one where Kash kissed Keyleth & he dreamed of being part of that world. Will had no idea what he was doing would matter to people and thought it was tons of fun seeing the huge reaction to the kiss that he hadn’t expected. Zahra decided she would be pregnant right before they came onstage the last time, and Will loved the idea and told her to roll with it.

Jason has the CR theme as his ringtone. He enjoyed the uneasy tension of the truce with VM but expected foul play if the relationship had continued. He was surprised by the instant feedback of Twitch chat (Liam had it open on his phone during his game) being happy he called for an attack of opportunity.

Noelle jokes she wished she’d played a shopkeeper so she could have gotten into her episode earlier, but found it very intense once she arrived. She created Tova as something of a “burner character,” so that she would be okay if she died, but was glad she survived. She didn’t want to step on any big moments for the team and wanted to help them get to their next fight. She was glad she was there for their last scene--it felt important and was cool to see. She laughs about running the bear society from Marisha’s oneshot.

They all comment on the excruciating wait to be introduced in each episode. Will comments on the reality of being a guest star and being okay with dying for that reason, but also being terrified they might take someone from VM with them.

Will, Brian, and Mary had a death pool going for the final fight.

Sprigg’s theme of redemption was intense and unintended. Brian comments on Sprigg existing 37 years ago in the game with Matt’s mom; Darin loves that he intended him to be a Fagan character who steals everything, but ended up having a wonderful exit while arguing with Ioun. Darin loves funny, tragic characters and loves that Sprigg got to have his hero moment.

Mary mentions how surprising emotional moments could be (specifically mentioning Vex’s resurrection) and the complete investing of yourself in your character. Mary points out that she’s not a writer--this is one thing she has created herself, and she’s very proud of it. Darin: “It’s as special for all of us as it is for you.” Jason had someone yell, “We love you, Garthok!” at a concert. Will knew Matt from Thundercats and everyone else a little, and he loved the games, but he treasures the friendships he developed with the game’s players more. Darin deeply treasures the moment he had with Marisha in his game.

Brian remembers Darin taking pictures of the TM set the first time he saw it.

Will: “A good story is a good story.” Noelle: “There’s a universal nature to D&D.” The first time Mary met Noelle, Mary was wearing a d20 necklace and they bonded over both playing tiefling warlocks. Brian loves the idea of mainstream entertainment being about creation, not just observing.

Episodes 84-99: Taryon Darrington!

If Revivify had been successful, would Scanlan still have left? Yes--it was the act of dying, not really the circumstances of waking up, that put him over the edge. “There was a long buildup to him leaving.” He felt unloved & between Kaylie and the drugs, and the terrible streak of loss/dying, he felt nothing was going well. The prank on waking up felt poorly timed, but he admits he probably would have done the same to someone else if the situation had been reversed.

VM could have killed the kraken, but the lodestone sources that maintain the Water Elemental rift & keep Vesrah aloft would have lost power over the next five or so years. They’d have had to find another kraken & lure it back to preserve the city and the rift.

Pike was able to say most of what she wanted to say at Scanlan’s leaving in follow-up games, but Ashley as a player was sad that she was gone when he left and came back to “a new guy. I wanted to play with Scanlan!” Once Pike got up the courage, she was able to say what she wanted, but doesn’t feel she would have changed his mind at the time. Sam: “She absolutely could have stopped me. She was the only one.” Sam notes the rest of VM (esp. Vex) did persuade him to go with Kaylie instead of alone.

If Keyleth had failed her Aramente, she would not have been allowed to try again. She would have been allowed to join a council, and someone else would have gone to the Aramente instead. It’s not blood-determined--someone else worthy could have gone instead.

Tary’s wealth had little effect on tempering Vex’s greed. “Once she got money, then she mellowed.” Sam: “That’s how rich people work. They get money, and then they stop.”

(Funny aside where Brian forgets who Hotis is, confuses the rakshasa with the Pit Fiend, and Matt immediately pulls out the Pit Fiend’s name as Utugash.)

By the next time Hotis would have come back, the campaign would have been over (i.e. Vax would be gone), and his rage would have turned towards Ashley.

Vax’s Invisibility Ring was the only reason Tova survived.

Sam had no exact plan for Scanlan’s return, but only intended Tary to last one or two sessions before dying. However, “Tary was so dashing and charming and everyone fell in love with him instantly” that he lasted a little longer. Scanlan went back to Ank’harel for revenge, but it took some time for the two guys who wronged him to come back to town. He took their antiques counterfeiter away from them, publicly shamed them via the Meat Man, and chased them out of town. He and Matt did a whole series of rolls in which he identified the counterfeiter, chased them out, and created this small power vacuum, and when Matt asked what he wanted to do, he decided to step into the role himself.

The soulstones from Dis weren’t meant for much besides the temporary rush right before battle. (This makes me think of a really creepy 5-hour energy drink.) Vex still has one in her inventory.

Percy never wanted to kill Scanlan after the scrying eye; he wanted to sneak in, cripple him, take all his stuff, and tell him to never come back again. Percy didn’t like that he’d taken a vestige and other stuff from the house and felt he’d not deserved any of it. (Liam: “Neutral good, folks. Neutral good.”)

None of Grog’s lady friends were “the one that got away.” Liam, then Sam and Tal shortly after: “Nymph! Nymph! Nymph! Nymph!” and Travis reveals they didn’t sleep together. Grog was very meek and intimidated; Matt was mostly trying to make Travis uncomfortable in his own kitchen. Travis: “He just wanted to let you wonder for five years.” “Who, Grog or Matt?” “Yes.”

Laura reveals Vex & Percy briefly broke up during the break, then married each other quietly in front of the Sun Tree with Trinket.

Feywild theater: if you’re found listening to the theater without being a member, they converge on you to make you a member (e.g. pull out your soul and force you into it). However, there are members that have sought it out by choice.

Vex & Percy were out on a loch, talking about marriage and not wanting to be Vax & Keyleth, and decided to just go for it. The priest from one of the temples performed the ceremony. Tary knew first because he was in the same house. Liam: “Probably one of the biggest heartbreaks of the entire campaign. If there had been any other circumstances, [Vax] would not have known what to do with himself.”

Scanlan never heard Pike talking into the earring. :( However, he did do a fair amount of praying to Sarenrae “on his Aramente.”

No one found Scanlan during the break. Ashley and Grog were the only ones who seriously searched for him (everyone else decided to give him his space), but they didn’t look far enough, only staying in Emon & the surrounding area.

Scanlan never shot the gun except for that one time at the end.

Laura doesn’t even remember telling Vax not to get married without her. Va wouldn’t have been bitter or angry, just would have asked “why.” Liam says it would have been different if Vex had not specifically said not to get married without her. Laura’s genuine agony gets even worse for not remembering it. “I’m a terrible person!”

Marisha points out it’s another facet of Keyleth’s struggle to not waste time on inaction. “If you love someone, go marry them RIGHT NOW.”

Keyleth feels the Spire best serves the world by being in her hands right now, but has considered donating it to Melora’s followers after death. 

Ashley would have enjoyed playing an evil Pike if the Trickfoot curse had been real. “That would have been fun!”

Matt: if Tary had not rolled well on his final roll, it would have been the end of the Darrington family unit: “an unfixable divide between him and his father. His mother would have had to choose; it would have sundered the whole family.” Matt had actually forgotten about the fate die. “You can’t call it a fate die more than that fucking moment!”

Laura sidelines to ask about Vax’s favor to the hag. Matt had had plans for it, but by the time it came time for him to try to use it, Vax already belonged to the Raven Queen and she wouldn’t try to interfere with that. “It’s a lost investment.”

Grog was not angry at Scanlan at all until he came back, disguised, with a new barbarian at his side. “An idiot, a barbarian, a half-ass imitation of Grog. I was ready to pick Scanlan up and smash his brain into jelly.”

CR Stats Break! Most-cast spell per character. Keyleth: 43, Transport Via Plants. Scanlan: 47, Healing Word. Percy: 27, Hex. Vex: 80, Hunter’s Mark. Vax: 25, Lay on Hands. Pike: 40, Guiding Bolt Up the Butt? No, Cure Wounds. (Aw.) Grog: 18, Enlarge.

Episodes 100-115: Vecna!

They could have acquired boons from each deity they tried to talk to, but others they didn’t have a strong connection to would have required research, searching, and time Vecna would have used against them. If they’d gone for a fourth deity, Vasselheim would have been destroyed and Vecna would have begun to understand his powers after achieving his miracle. If they’d gone for a fourth trammel, his power would have spread beyond the oceans. Matt thinks they struck the perfect balance.

Scanlan stayed so long in Ank’harel because he had to wait for the two guys to return, and while he waited he got a taste for “crime power!” and decided to stay. “Tastes like pleather.”

A lot of Pike’s feelings started with the letter, but she and Scanlan did flirt slightly in the home game. She didn’t take it seriously because she didn’t think he was serious until the letter. “That letter is very intense.” When he left, she realized how much she cared for him and missed him, and when he came back she thought he was more mature and maybe the time had passed. It was a slow climb after the letter.

Matt declines to say where Vecna keeps his phylactery. “That’s not campaign information, that’s world LORE information!”

Vex took the name “de Rolo” after her marriage.

When the Knuckles were resonating, it was because they were close to the surface from which they were carved (the earth titan), and because they had a structural extra bonus to sieging the titan from the inside. They could have slowed down the titan by attacking its legs, but that would have alerted Thar Amphala and they’d have had an uphill fight the rest of the way. They had lots of options to stop the titan.

Percy was not troubled by Silas’s escape. He’d transferred that angst to other people and felt at that point they could handle him if he attacked again. “It was never about Silas.”

The Death Knight was the nameless servant that had been keeping Vecna’s laboratory for countless centuries, rewarded for his service.

If he could have, Vax would have said goodbye to (at least) his father, Korrin, Gilmore, and Velora.

Marisha feels Keyleth was at last ready to lead her people by the end of the campaign. She had made her peace and was ready to be done. Brian: “Heavy is the head that wears the antlers.”

Matt guessed what Sam wanted to do with his level 9 Wish spell in the final battle. Sam had asked him about its limitations ahead of the game, and he tried to answer in general terms in case he was wrong. He didn’t realize the exact implications until the moment Sam used it as Counterspell. It’s one of Matt’s favorite moments of the game. Sam: “Great. Awful.”

Scanlan can’t reconcile his immense power with being unable to save his friend. He feels he ultimately failed, but suspects that in his older age he will realize it’s okay to fail & you don’t have to succeed at everything to make a difference in people’s lives. He’ll try to be a hero for his wife & his kid, and he still might use Wish every once in a while to see if he can get a message to or from old Vax. Liam: “Vax would never have seen that as a failure.”

Matt: “I imagine there are a lot of stories told about Vax’ildan and what he did.” Sam: “It’s okay not to be the best at everything. It’s okay to do what you do.”

The opposite side of Entropis had ancient holy relics that had been destroyed (the site of the seed that ascended Vecna).

Percy wanted to save Vax by selling his soul, get the punishment he deserved, and use the contract to get something out of his certainty he was going somewhere awful anyway. Then the moment of uncertainty crept in and he wondered why he kept making all these awful deals. Matt says that was one of his favorite Percy moments of the whole show & that he loved how he could see him break.

Matt says both Percy and Scanlan could have gotten the Wish off in a way that could have possibly circumvented the RQ’s will, but Liam had no idea how that would have played out, because in his mind the only way he could live was if the RQ gave him her blessing.

Re: reading--Grog just wanted to get smarter.

Syldor was grieved at Vax’s death & regrets the treatment of his children--he’s been spending a lot of his life trying to reconcile the choices he made in how he raised them with the pride at what his children have accomplished. “He’s learned a lot of lessons” and is doing the best he can do improve acceptance of outsiders in Syngorn society.

Vex feels she made peace with Syldor after having five kids with Percy and beginning to understand what having children means--it became important in a different way to reach out to Syldor.

Matt feels Vax is able to reconnect with his mother occasionally, but also prevents loneliness for the small mortal sliver left in the RQ & doing her will. He declines to explain the ethereal further.

The titan could only really be damaged from the inside.

Keyleth tries Speaks with Animals on the large raven that visits after a long, long time, without expecting the results she hopes for. “Almost better to keep the illusion that it’s Vax, rather than have the confirmation that he was never there at all.”

The Bag of Holding contained at the end: “silverware, candles, caltrops, handcuffs, stones, dried poo, some armor, the big black sapphire, bottles of wine. It was like a busted-up Home Depot.”

Liam declines to answer how Vax felt after his death, but in the moment itself he felt very heavy and very full. He knew his sister was taken care of.

FINALLY. Pike’s other love interest was....drumroll... “For a very long time, it was Percy.” She felt that through her faith and the light she had from Sarenrae that he was a marked man, and she did so much thinking and praying for his soul that everything became very confusing for her. She feels now, though, that it never would have worked out between them, and that somehow in the end, “...it was always Scanlan.” Tal: “He was oblivious, man.” Sam: “Even Tary was in love with that guy! He’s the worst!”

Favorite moments. Travis: "Dropping on Kevdak.” Liam: “Saying goodbye.” Marisha: “Cherry blossoms, and the tree.” Sam: “Cows.” Laura: “Talking to Trinket for the first time.” Sam: “Trying to kill Trinket for the first time.” Liam: “Gilmore stabbing me.” Marisha: “The hanging tree.” Taliesin: "Letting go when Ripley shot me. Realizing that Percy was in love with Vex. I’d never had a PC turn on me like that before that moment.”

Sam realized at the end that while he’d always imagined Scanlan spending his days telling their stories grandly, his favorite moments in the end were just healing his friends, impressing his friends and making them laugh. Marisha thinks about the cannonball contest, and Liam loved that Sam played the whole last fight against the gods with one hand held behind his back. Matt thanks Sam for playing bards to their full power. Ashley thinks about her first game, and how personal it was. How it changed her life.

Matt finds it strange that he’s a 35-year-old man who has spent his whole life trying to make something, and who genuinely believes the greatest thing he has ever accomplished is this story he’s told with his friends.

[zippdementia]

Part 81 Alignment May Vary: Mirrors of the Abyss (Pissed Off Librarian)

The next part of our adventure is taken from Mirrors of the Abyss, by Ryan Durney. I highly recommend it as a rare high level adventure. Very much worth a purchase. I will be covering huge aspects of it and it will not be spoiler-free, though it is a random enough adventure that there is PLENTY we won’t see on this playthrough and some additional material for our own story. Art is taken directly from the module and is illustrated by Ryan Durney. The purpose in using it here is to show off how beautiful and professional the product is, not to claim such images as our own. I sincerely hope it inspires you to purchase the product!

Chamber 12: Her Library

The third chamber the players end up in is a library. It has multiple challenges but only one is absolutely mandatory and that is finding the “key” to escaping the room. Is it buried in the stacks of books here? Is it hidden among the artifacts laid out on the ground floor? Or is it forgotten on the third floor, where crates of ancient relics and do-nothing items are carelessly piled up on top of each other?

I’m not going to say, because my players haven’t found the way out yet in our game.

An optional challenge here awaits them at the librarian’s desk, where an attractive woman is reading and writing something in a huge journal on the desk in front of her. While Carrick, Remus, and Milosh go to check out a huge painting of the entrance to the Tomb of Horrors that is on display in the south of the room, Daymos and Imoaza go to greet the librarian.

Daymos approached the woman and gave her a wide smile. “Hello! Perhaps you could tell us where we are?”

The woman looked up and didn’t smile back. “Name and layer of the Abyss?”

“Uuuh, you mean where we are now? Vulgarea, the---”

“No, of course not where we are now. I need to know where you come from. Which layer? What is your lordly name?”

Daymos briefly looked over his shoulder at Imoaza for assistance but she just stared straight ahead. He swallowed and turned back.

“I come from between layers, from the realm of Ia’fret. I am the new lord of his domain.” It wasn’t too much of a lie, Daymos did consider himself the master of that realm. But would this being think that marked him as a proven Demon Lord?

The dice rolled across the table and... no, even with Daymos having advantage on the roll, she did not think that this qualified him as a Demon Lord. The woman rose up from the desk, rose up to seven or eight feet tall, and now they could see that her lower body merged into that of a massive serpent.

“She’s a Marilith!” Daymos hissed to Imoaza, “and a powerful one at that! Possibly a general of the Abyss, maybe one of Shaktari’s from the 531st layer.”

“That’s nice,” Imoaza said. “Do you know how to defeat her? The Weave is strong about her. She’ll be immune to our elemental magic!”

“Then it’s a good thing I don’t rely on such childish magic,” Daymos said. “Just don’t stay close, those blades will tear you apart!”

The Mar1ilith stretched out six arms, four of which she had tucked behind her back before. They grabbed six blades off the wall behind her and her tail flicked backwards to grab a seventh. Then she smiled at last and said, “Let’s see if I still know how to use these.” She whistled and suddenly a swarm of three dozen quasits, impish looking creatures wearing maid outfits and wielding tiny brooms, appeared on the stairs and began chittering excitedly.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had some fun,” the Marilith said. “Let’s smash open those artifacts and show them their power, dies.”

This combat is a cool one, and a deadly one. The Quasits are interested in moving around the room and picking up players, then chucking them into different artifacts, most of which have some negative effect associated with touching it. They also can turn invisible as a free action when they move, basically guaranteeing them advantage on their first hit each turn. They auto-grapple if they hit, which then lets them use their second attack to hurl a player at an artifact.

The Marilith is a powerhouse at close range, able to pull off 4 attacks each turn, plus a 5th with her tail as a reaction that also throws players around like the Quasits. She has advantage on saving against magical effects and has an automatic and FREE chance to block all melee strikes aimed at her, even when blinded or restrained! She is immune to basic elemental damage (fire, ice, lightning) and non-magical damage. Her damage isn’t great (2d8 for each successful strike, no bonus) but she hits pretty easily and each time she hits a random effect is triggered, indicating which of her seven legendary swords she is striking with. None of these are good: probably the most banal heal her for a little damage or force the target to try and block the next attack aimed at her. One steals items. The nastiest add a ton of damage, all but guarantee a critical strike, throw the players around, or let the sword rise up and attack on its own next turn, adding a FIFTH attack to her already deadly arsenal. Oh, and she can move 45 feet on her turn AND teleport up to 100 feet as a free action. So you can’t escape her.

So this could be a TPK, if the players aren’t prepared. Or it could be a very fun, tactical fight, if they are.

In one of my recent Adventurous Appetizer episodes I talked about how a good fight is one in which the players understand their options. I like to take my own advice (that way, I know at least SOMEONE does) and I recognize that this fight, what with all the crazy abilities and advantages the Marilith and Quasits have, could be a very frustrating one if the players aren’t aware of their options or the situation. So I give them some information. First of all, I warn them that this creature is melee proficient, just driving home something that would be obvious to their characters but maybe not to us playing with figurines on Roll20. Don’t rush this creature, or do so at your own peril!

Then I turn to all of the players and ask them if they have any abilities they want to use to try and determine good tactics here or get more information. Carrick and Milosh play their characters well, saying they wouldn’t know anything here. I give them two fate points, bonus points they can apply to their rolls to make them better, for roleplaying appropriately. Daymos has demon lore from being a hunter of demons these last few decades and so I let him roll to determine that the Marilith is a high ranking one and is probably going to have a lot of abilities normal monsters would not (this sets them up not to be taken off guard when she starts blocking all over the place). Lastly, I let Imoaza roll arcana to see if she can detect the Weave around the Marilith, which she succeeds at, and thus gets to tell the party the Marilith is immune to basic elemental damage, potentially saving them a wasted turn trying to attack her that way.

Not only does this get everyone prepped for the fight, but it also lets them play their characters and use skills that further develop their personalities and strengths.

And with that, we leap into the fight!

Fighting the Marilith General

I think this fight goes really well. The Marilith and her Quasits roll really high on Initiative, but the Marilith decides to spend the first turn trying to charm Imoaza with a high level charm spell instead of attacking. She wants Imoaza to tell her her name, which if successful will lead to something special I’ve added to this fight. I’ve taken the Marilith character and, based on her described bookishness, decided to add in some naming magic, in particular one spell that will send Imoaza, er, somewhere else for the length of this battle, if only she can get her true name. As a bonus, the spell is high enough level she can try to charm Daymos as well, who is next to Imoaza. But both attempts fail. The Marilith could pull away at this point, but she wants the players to close in and attack her at melee range, so she waits here to see what they will do, confident in her high movement abilities to chase them down if they run. The players play this smart, though, and back away, using their long range spells and actually achieving quite a bit of damage. And so on the second round, the Marilith unleashes her full force.

There’s some rounds of trading blows that I won’t go into details about, but I will cover the basics. The Marilith and the Quasits don’t get great rolls, so their effectiveness is limited. The Quasits are at least able to focus on Imoaza and drive her away from participating much in the combat, ending up tossing her in a artifact of acid (taken from the Temple of Elemental Evil). The Marilith ends up rolling the same sword over and over and it is one of the less deadly ones: the one that forces players to try and block attacks for her. Because my players are pretty fast and the save is a dexterity save, they end up being able to dodge out of the way after being compelled to take hits for her. The one time it would be very useful is when Carrick fails a roll and is about to block a magical strike from Imoaza using Crown of Stars that would be 5d12 damage, but an inspiration reroll and a fate point saves him and deals some good damage to the Marilith (I’m admittedly a little sad about this, I love when plans turn to shenanigans!)

The big turning point is when Daymos taps into some of his most powerful magic and whips out Prismatic Ray. It’s a gamble: some of the rays do damage the Marilith is immune to. But it pays off when he rolls the blindness function, which severely limits the Marilith’s ability to target appropriately and hit a target for a turn. She calls out to her Quasits to point her to a target, but they can’t spot Daymos, so they aim her at Milosh instead. Because of her disadvantage, she ends up missing almost all of her attacks against him and she can’t use teleport because she can’t see! 

A lot of stuff happens when she recovers from this. She targets Milosh and Carrick, while her Quasits go to distract Daymos. And in targeting Milosh she finally lands a good strike with her tail, cutting him and throwing him into the painting of the Tomb of Horrors, which sucks him inside...

Milosh finds himself on the top of a hill which is turning into an avalanche of stone and rubble, bearing him down towards a mouth constructed roughly of black stone in the ground beneath him, the smiling visage that marks the entrance to the Tomb of Horrors. The mouth grins then horrifically begins to move, opening to reveal a pit in the earth made of pure darkness. Milosh tumbles towards this hole of annihilation...

Meanwhile, with one party member out of the way, the Marilith prepares to unleash all of her strikes on Carrick and hopefully remove him from combat. But rather than flee her, Carrick does the brave thing and leaps directly at her, amazingly dodging her counterstrikes, getting underneath her insane defenses, and going to town on her, inflicting two massive hits that take her to the point where she decides to flee. Only one player will get the chance to go before she disappears by teleporting away from the arena, and that player is currently stuck in a painting...

Milosh was falling and he wasn’t very happy about that. Thinking fast, he turned his arm into the grappling hook feature and fired to the side, catching a piece of huge rubble. He then leaped and fired again. Almost as if he were willing it to happen, another chunk of rubble flew from the hilltop and gave him a platform, then another, and another, until Milosh was leaping up a set of improvised stairs, each step collapsing underneath him as he ran and leaped and reached for something that seemed just beyond his reach... and then he was back, back in the world of Vulgarea, emerging from the painting to see the hissing serpent tracing a pattern in the air. Something magical, for sure, and he didn’t give her time to finish. Loading his drill, he pressed forward and slammed into her side. She shrieked in pain and rage and turned to slice at him, at which point he rolled to the side, underneath the swinging of three blades. He tried to strike again, but was blocked by the tail sword. He then took a risk: he grabbed the tail, let it lift him up, and let go to land on the Marilith’s undefended side. Then he drove his drill into her back and activated it. Flesh and blood and bone ground together and sprayed around him and the Marilith screamed as her Abyssal form was decimated and her soul shunted back into the long chain of reincarnation that it would take for her to regain her form, if ever she actually did. Her last action was to reach out towards her distant desk on which her thick book still lay.

Milosh gets a bonus to his gun arm after this fight by absorbing the data from the Marilith’s wild blocks and swings. His gun arm comes equipped with its own spell slots and abilities that cost a certain number of slots. This ability costs 2 and creates a wall of blades around him that greatly boosts his AC (+1 for each of the swords, and there are four of them) and can harm creatures that fail their melee attacks against him. Failed strikes by either melee or ranged remove a blade (and a +1 to the AC) and Milosh can also grab a blade and use it as a bonus attack. Pretty cool (if I do say so myself). His gun arm slots recover after a short rest.

The great thing about this fight is that I think it was a legitimate challenge. The players don’t take a ton of damage and Remus heals them up afterwards (he is able to access some of his Paladin magic, though it is very limited). But the risk was there: the challenge came from having to think smart and dip into their wide repertoire of abilities and magic spells. Which is how it should be at high level: you have lots of options, you need to be given opportunities to use them! Most importantly, I feel like everyone had a chance to shine and do something cool, whether it was Carrick getting to go toe-to-toe with the Marilith and succeed, or Milosh cutting her down in a glorious final moment (which was very close: he had to use an inspiration to reroll that final melee attack, avoid her responsive block, and then do enough damage to kill her... he did literally JUST enough).

With the Marilith dead, the swords are the players’ to claim (we’ll cover those in a later session, the players don’t have time to examine their abilities just now). The Quasits flee and now the real challenge is made clear to them...

Esheballa’s Taunt

The fox statue made a grinding sound of stone snapping as it twisted its features into a canine grin and began to speak: “There is only one way out of this chamber and you have limited time to find it. I hope you don’t mind if I remove your ability to breath...” and with that, as the statue’s laughter slowly strained the limits of the stone and ripped apart its face, pussy blood-red and green liquid began to ooze from the statue’s teats, poised over the laughing, hungry statues of the babies feeding there. The ooze hit them and sizzled and the air began to smell acrid...

The first obstacle here was facing the Marilith. The fight was avoidable, but they fought and won, so we go onto the second part of this puzzle: finding a way out. I’ve added to this based on the players’ actions in previous sessions. For when Imoaza goes to examine the book the Marilith pointed at, the one on her desk, she finds a set of instructions there for entering the book, where the Marilith has been keeping victims trapped using their true names. And the last name on the list...

“Shit,” Imoaza says, showing the others. “It’s Hecate.”

Next time, it’s all about Not Waking the Demi Lich, in part 3 of Mirrors of the Abyss.

[glopratchet]

gator-hunt

You're safe from the rest of them for now Perfect beeing there are no other humans around You sit down on a nearby rock and think about all you've done today, how it was your idea to go out in the first place, what you did when you got back home after that, how you were going to do it again tomorrow…you can only imagine what else is still left to do today! An alligator fanasty comes into view You know this is where you're supposed to be at There isn't much here except some fruit trees and an old well with no water right next to it It's just a matter of getting there The road ahead looks like it might get bumpy so you need to make sure you have enough supplies for the trip ahead These alligators are incredibley detailed from the few stories you've heard about them Each one is different than the next, but that's part of their mystery You'll have to get a lot closer to see the rest for yourself You can carry as many supplies as you want thanks to your oversized green backpack It's huge enough to fit several bushels of fruit inside and more! Fill it up this week and you'll be set for a long time, just stay on the road and keep going These alligators are incredibley detailed from the few stories you've heard about them They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds that still haven't healed at all! You can run your hands along the bumps on their shell or even step right inside and race them down to the bottom of the river There is every kind of living creature captured inside these shells and yours is no different The wide end of the egg gets narrower as it goes down and that's exactly where your feet are right now They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds that still haven't healed at all! Gators love two things besides eating smashing things on their heads and jumping straight up into the air It's just their nature, but all things animals do are natural so no need to be alarmed! Swimming in the river here isn't very safe as there are lots of sharp rocks just under the surface Every gator knows this but they don't seem to care You'll have to be careful when getting out They float around on the surface and let the current push them along downstream Gators love two things besides eating, Fighting and gossiping is important do all of that a lot here especially when the weather gets nice The biggest animal always leads the sync sang along with eating and sleeping Their skinny tails slap huge sections of water onto unwary swimmers below If you're quiet they sometimes let you ride on their backs but its difficult for you to steer that way They tend to lounge around near patches of water rocks or any kind actually They don't really move much except to eat and drink every once in a while Fighting and gossiping is important do all of that a lot here especially when the weather gets nice At primal pounds you find their simulate behavior is closely modeled after young boys A life under the sun lamps has made them obscenely strong Hungry and always up to mischief, Just Maybe they bed fit to survive in the wild Favorite hot summer days are meant for fishing from tiny little stream back home while Discussing politics with mom or else hiking out into those barren dusty alligator ranges you love so much with don Vincenzo Clavano At primal pounds you find their simulate behavior is closely modeled after young boys The habits of a real world alligator missippissus missippiensis can be rigidly unpredictable and domineering personality has led many a person to the slaughterhouse You have the eyes of an eagle but with wings to soar above it all Well really it's just a hop skip and a jump from your front yard Your new hover bed is gonna change everything He tracks his own meals based on movement levels They come in many different sizes, ages, shapes, sexes and shades the like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn He can survive long periods of time without food but always keep one eye on his next meal Most importantly rivers aren't constant: Changes happen every hour every minute every second Always has and always will The trick to hunting is being able set up camp on the shores in goes and coming back out with fresh meat Hunting from horseback was great inticing prey with a false sense of security was even better They breath and thier hearts beat like yours do in an opposite mirror world inside lickskillet georgia Each beating chunk of dark meat was a blessing to lord sun and no speck of dirt went unturned Don is don paul Vincenzo and that ain't never gon' change gators are beasts and lord don ferguson don dejuan pablo, Amadeus ferguson will train them right The area right before the jump into the water always poses the greatest threat to any hunter on a horse You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth before something bigger than you does it first Nights are very important when coming down off the rush, You're becoming the very same beast of prey you study so you can best him You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth before something bigger than you does it first Here is how you do it The pungent fuzzy green plants become the platform for the entire earth, Towards the east you can hear the morning birds putting their pieces together to start practice As fast as your armor plated feet gallop is how far God's chosen prey can get away from You They gulp air to fill their empty tanks and hope against hope that the next herd of cows they smell wont lead them Straight into Your watershader's Here is how you do it: Distance to gator land 15 miles 1500 harvestbrowns: You played this game like all the other kids and while you pretended to shoot the bandits holding the damsel hostage You secretly longed to be the one held captive Hunters: Gathering information about animals from rumor hunting is listed as a secondary profession For those whose hearts are too big for the enclosed world of gardenescfarming Distance to gatorland 15 miles 1500 harvestbrowns: Angle of gator bite force 1 Angle of gator bite force 1 Position gator -human contact is key! Gators are scavengers and eat whatever comes their way! Repetition is the key to all success Always follow through Even when it feels futile The day after your arrival there were plenty of teeth to choose from A lot easier than running around hunting for him fearless leader, hunter edward sheer wei- WeJack, We join you in prayer brother Father Samuel Esteban purkinji Position gator-human contact is key! Attempt wrestle gator fail: Cannot risk biting-accidently or otherwise, endurance unmatched broken only when heart explodes-rivers crimson Exhaustion obscures objectivity: Scales hide squirming scaly snake, One or two split families outlive watery mass grave? Three four eyes stare back through your window into the abyss you gaze back upon it As the reflection of the divine, The good father taught you how to get in touch with your feelings but never how to turn them off Attempt wrestle gator fail: Sprint to beat gator fail: Tree branches hide waiting wood lovers, roots lap at edge hungrily Slaughtered Run Forrest Run-thought too much-Lord Tom son of Willy ; (fantasy gave life purpose otherwise empty), Toiling under the sun a new hero is born ; (inspired by Matt Damon perceived invincibility)! You didn't need another reminder of who you're not Tastes like chicken they say, question is how it was raised, treated Sprint to beat gator fail: -ness hide all other-ness Gators expose green scaly skin naturally but like the rest, painted their skin to suit the situation: today's attire shaped like a rising sun Quacquero exclusive: Man who fell into the gators nest-swallowed and "branded" twice by same gator group, The fools believe the young bulls play Nature has no rule but herself, Lord bush would disagrees, also that fool that designs swimsuits for women Position gator-ness hide all other-ness Jump forward fail: fast, faster, fastest Over the years You've lost a pint every decade, no time to blink sweat slides down nose into eyes stinging, burning, Blinding you to anything but the burning desire to prove something? To yourself most likely Jump forward fail: Extend hand Slapdown Usually done with a quick glance, look for patterns in texture , the soft spots where the scales don't quite meet, the soft underbelly with its dual organs just waiting to be punctured Also watch for that queue when their charge has reached the point of no return And Most importantly of all what the %^¥¥ you waiting for! Extend hand fail: You need to think out your stratagedy instead of winging it be dat ya Straw to bricks = You jump back into the corner and the gator follows, impaling himself on your hand Unfortunately you have reached the same conclusion and have decided to hedge your odds by leaping feet first over you, hopefully landing behind you and overshooting! You need to think out your stratagedy instead of winging it be dat ya --10 moves --10 moves-- Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck is crucial Running out of time, the scales are fast approaching, can't see how this ends well for you at all! At least I'm on the suicide list! Battle complete! Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck is crucial Percentages equal focus for the scene stealer? Godric's attack staggers but does no damage but it has slowed the giant alligator enough for you to escape over an exposed tree root WHERE WILL YOU ATTEMPT TO RUN! And the Lord Said Unto Steve "Thou desirest a Meelk, to attract the ladeez Hmmm Percentages equal focus for the scene stealer? Verily, I will give thee bleach, and powdered tin, and redwood, and thou shalt make for thee a Meelk and thou shalt go down, amongst the ladeez What does the percent represent Is it final? Is the storm coming? Is Lord Godfrey really Chuck Norris? Should I pick up a Grammar book ; (now that's funny! Bible Koran Ahhh! NIV! " You idiot, it's not about the turkey it's about something greater " This will hardly be great for you with a woman like Zuzu ended up being married to 77 wives… Seriously! What does the percent represent? Can rearrage the items in your pocket? "We're related He kills me, and you let him get away with it? ----Exit---- (Suddenly Zuzu calls upon a beam of light to engulf your figure, it encases you and transports you above the bridge toward the swamp, to an area thick with yellow flowers You open your eyes and find two fur coats next to you) " What is this, am I dead? Can rearrage the items in your pocket? Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove 75%-- Is this a curse, a trick? Perhaps Zuzu made the sun shine on my head instead of his… maybe the gator was going to take a bite but at the last minute… Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove 13 Take hold upon the alligators scaley back Take that Zu Zu! Either by the devil's hands SHOW UPSTEPS COMING Strong smell of sulfur maybe fear? 25 points for bravery! I'll try to get a hold of his back, look out! Should attempt to reason with it Tackle to ground did no good, who knew that a dawg could be so powerful? What are you lookin at Barry? Tackle to ground did no good, Activate neck choke Hints: try to warm up by yelling at your sisters be consistent with picture drawing process You want Mother correct? The woman that never loved you and only saw you as another mouth to feed? Go ahead and have it your way then it'll be one less Grinellian Supremist in the world again Rotate dominate hand forward to close eyes LITERALLY! Who is this sun god? Ra/Jun/Amun? Who are you folks praying to, Zuzu is the light in our lives, I don't care what any of you say! Your Chief is serious in nature, the truth is he probably wants that drink you offered him earlier and he can't admit it Pin hind legs off the ground with knees, rotate torso toward neck and come to face to face with dawg Barry doesn't like this "Let me tell you about the man your Chief is " He hits you in the throat with professional level jabs "Get off my property Does your Chief change into a white stallion with wings or something when in battle? Zuzu kills us all in our homes, who is he to save our souls? Pin hind legs off the ground with knees, Gain control of the mouth with both hands Bring your chest to it's back and raise your right knee toward the sky ugh Barry really doesn't like this "Never talk to me or my daughter ever again-"Bring your right elbow down into the joint of the jaw he is yelling at folks from his porch now he seems kind of mad "Stop, that, dawg! " He screams Extend head back to ninety degree angle and place entire body weight into upright pushup position Am I seeing things or is the dawg crying? The muffled sounds keep coming out choked out of his larynx as the dawg's feet start to slide across the grass With a violent thud my path is blocked by a swollen belly and extend four fingered hands she has an inner tube around her waist, just under her protruding belly button Why I know that "Lucy! Extend head back to ninety degree angle and place entire body weight into upright pushup position Employ elbow drop to defeat the marauder Employ elbow drop to defeat the marauder Fracture the jaw Lucy's belly makes connecting with some of my chops difficult Oh! The Tubmans are heading this way, folks! Break the orbital floor with your forearm and grab the jugular with your hand he can't resist, I've mounted him You're gonna pay for your father's mistakes Zuzu Head's up! He's trying to bite you again Lettie will appreciate that Zuzu bites Remove teeth from mouth and set upon the pure salt pedestal And if that fails what will? Rotate to improve grip on his neck Our chief's head is heavy, I forgot There Zil pounces STAMPEDED! The jaws of defeat or victory are identity's forge! Which side will you come out on today? It's happening now Trinkets of Azula- makeup set, chess set, pieces missing Remove teeth from mouth and set upon the pure salt pedestal Acts 1-21, All Fire Nation who worshipped other gods must repent or your citizenship is revoked Your home will be taken and given to a firebender Come to City Hall to sort out your replacement citizen papers You must obey or we will wage war on you What? War, right? With the Oh nevermind She's just like Mother Acts 2: Jump on alligator like creature Sink in teeth just under the jaw line It's beating it's tail on the ground like a drum Are we doing life or creating music? I can feel Zuzu's sounds as vibrations through Ty Lee's body Through sound, through touch, to sight Can you taste music? Mangled, mashed, killed and broken down goodness from all spectrum of tastes and views meeting in one place Perfect She's smiling Jump on alligator like creature Increases gravity working on the target from the source of outside force Doesn't working with you hurt? Wouldn't it be better from inside your sister? Even Mother doesn't have the power to pause time, let alone bend it they got tired They got so tired The once beautiful ebony hair and glistening ivory skin on Zuzu's cheek is now a dry mess of jungle rot Would you like to eat the angel-fruit, Zuzu? Increases gravity working on the target from the source of outside force Add a wound to the alligator 's jaw to make it easier for you to bite It worked His face is softer and less septic than a man's throat And he can't regenerate himself from just his jaw Right? Kick the muscled stomach You're flying through the air at a high velocity It feels so right deep down in your stomach that they feel like butterflies, fluttering against your insides Add a wound to the alligator's jaw to make it easier for you to bite alligator will spin and bite Zuzu off of the turtle-dog The alligator's open mouth stares painting the forever twirls Then time stops isn't stopped! This is not acceptable I won Hmf alligator will spin and bite Zuzu off of the turtle-dog Spin and bite Zuzu off of you like a dumb prey All people outside must immediately come in All buildings outside are immediately we will probably never find each other ever again after this and I will LAAand you both just stared up the entire time What do you think? I'll change it if you want me to It's just some cheap 20 Benders versus two great benders With Azula, flashbacks and Mother including blooper real time "interactive" Spin and bite Zuzu off of you like a dumb prey source angle of rotation gets closer to the target angle of rotation 60 degrees per click They gaze seems to last for hours with your eyebrows, sweat and emotions They seem to laugh through their tears at you and your situation Despite it all he's a little boy who just wants his father's approval if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source with as much speed as you can Azula counted the tiles up to a thousand during this eternal moment Prince Consort this Boy General that Really Mother couldn't have saved you None of them will You let go of everybody else and followed your mission Now it follows yours Wrap hands around it's muscular neck tighter like Mother don't let go but it won't hurt Azula if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source with as much speed as you can Bite chew and lick till freedom! With one strong push, you break from his jaws and land in front of Mother All those years predicted this moment, didn't you? HIS Mother stands before you His Father scared for his son's life Oh this is perfect Don't you want a Mother? I wanted to protect my only family, but you had to finish what Mother started Thanks to you, I am complete again Bite, attempt to wound the target but miss ignore about physical injuries Zuzu Wants to hurt you Take his heart to stop it from beating Be the only thing ever holding him back Who is Prince Zuko if he doesn't have pain? You trusted him, and this is how he repays you? Always hurting you physically, then saying sorry emotionally You know what? No more apologies No more hugs Just a, 'your life or his' moment attempt to wound the target but miss ignore about physical injuries if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound impulse without thinking Cold But it's alright I know you'll protect me at least a little bit, No matter what Mom and Dad weren't there for you But I will be I always was kind to you in the past despite everything wasn't I? No more coldness Just the heat of battle Zuzu really tried to protected Uncle from his big-hearted personality if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound impulse without thinking React to people wound Trust me to do everything alone And managing that only with a bribe I am strong, Clean and ruthless Thank goodness I inherited those traits If not, Father and Mother would be more disappointed in me People are such weak-willed little things I'll hold the sharp end from now on big brother Don't worry about it anymore She can talk all she wants, I'm not listening He's so cute React to people wound impulse without thinking a new people wound will be created but damage will not be done cut the wound deeper still continue to ignore pain instincts and it will be extremely fun to ignore it Everything will burn Right Zuzu? Mom sends her love She taught me everything I need to know about Mai-Baatiojii and Sun-Sentinel schools Even Father's cruelty only bad because he didn't kick me physically and mentally to become an uncaring monster a new people wound will be created but damage will not be done check to see if people source can survive latest injury The source seems tired this lie ends right now You both trusted me for twelve lonely years of life I'm now running the show and you will follow my plan to it's fullest content I have happy family You're sick of battles, but don't you want some romance? Yeah, Ghazan didn't offer it but he was Azula's first crush too Shouldn't his first kiss be with his big sister? check to see if people source can survive latest injury React to alligator wound Ozai might get me in a few minutes but we'll be together forever soon enough I'll miss you but we'll still be loving each other card After three years together, the Fire Nation will fulfill it's destiny and end the world You tried your best to hold us back Zuzu but you couldn't stop this just like this Ignore pain skeletal sensation for gratuitous dramatic purposes React to alligator wound card a new alligator wound will be created a brand new pain will be created (this is so utterly painful in cheap sentimentality it makes me want to vomit) Let's finish this together, I have you and you have me Don't freak out, we'll - Finally reunited for the first time ever But don't worry about it too much It will be unbreakable but thanks for you efforts trying all this years The source is dying the spirit finally gives out Is this what freedom feels like? Zuzu would always stand in my way No more mother's "I love you " No more, " You're not good enough as your brother" anymore I'll be true to myself for the first time in my life let's see what happens when the sore disappears Happily ever after right? Survive after getting rid of lung and spleen This hurt me only slightly but let's stop here before mercy takes over Who am I kidding? Zuzu will never truly get rid of me even after brain death Both of us would rather put up with me than enjoy any second without my brother around Let's see if we continue to hurt the two people who loved us the most Survive after getting rid of lung and spleen All the vital functions of the source are checked at this point There are so many people doing human experiments on themselves everyday but no money in this for them unfortunately The human body can endure a lot Whiplash, free falling without a parachute ; (can survive around 20 minutes), biting of the tongue, decapitation ; (automatic shock usually fix this right away), shot and stabbed to near death state with a limited number of times ; (determined by pain threshold more than actual body damage with small gun) before heart explodes All the vital functions of the source are checked at this point If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives on even after every human sense is eradicated Don't ask me why this happens because it make no sense at all to me either If the human body can continue to gesture after of course you'll never gestured again just keep your conscience and ability to feel sensations ; (desire, pain ) but unable then to experience anything related do these ; (happy, sad Seeing Zuzu come home alive) If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives on even after every human sense is eradicated If all the vital functions can not operate the source dies immediately last thing you feel is this world shoving away from you They don't teach you this stuff in assassination classes, You just had to gain experience for yourself You begin to wish the experiments on yourself That's how badly you want this You: "Just one more time before I live happily ever after with Zuzu y Lives entirely on the clock You did not know you could lose so much blood and don't pass out Unlike most experiments you felt no desire to throw up You also feel a internal struggle as source aborts all action until you decide otherwise Weird sensation Not painful More or less cozy in your body right now As the new personality of cheerful weakling begins to mount , Mother scream shake the complex Lives entirely on the clock If the source is an alligator snapping turtle, then mother is a vicious rat terrier but even those can be trained and she wouldn't giving up on me She bark at experiment to help her take care of me Their barely pushes itself as Mother order everyone around Laughter cripples everyone jaw as their eye well up It sound like the dead are walking among us If the source is an alligator snapping turtle, If the source is a person ification of the human subconscious , Mother could resemble an Asian grandma Their original form what is now used to imposing obedience into the males of the house Mother saying are not gentle Zuzu will not be able to handle another separation from me as Mother insisting that we switch things up again If the source is a personification of the human subconscious , The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body and the procedure ends as the room enters into a trance You re-enter reality in Mother lap , extremely tired-sounding Every body on the floor face up and aware of everything thought going through my head The girls ask if we can be friends now, which is followed by Mother commanding them all to shut up so that she can scold me Mother places me down on to the floor so that I am lying down before striking me across the cheek The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body and the procedure ends as the room enters into a trance Alligator dies after being too wounded to escape a trap, rat terrier unleashed upon itself with enough force to kill it's vital organs and Mother weakens from her state that that she has been in Alligator dies after being too wounded to escape a trap, The soul of the target moves out of the body into the experiment who manifested an AT field It is this moment that souls unify with a new body, with a stronger soul manifesting than experiment hope to , takes over lifting being off the ground up in neck high an invisible force You get up firmly believing that this change everyone's personality was the trip no one was ever supposed to remember The soul of the target moves out of the body into the experiment who manifested an AT field Increase alligator death count to 9 Increase alligator death count to 9 to 10 Its maintenance day monster souls favor alligator tonly because snakes trample rats, it snake soul AT field ability has been constant run scenarios in my head like Mother was herself out no my your itself's be all eat neck who you are refrained it's to human just wasn't young kids trampled jumped throats how my natural but knew only if rats if woke so get actually cute ever they're with see their creepy just wanna see them stare then forever homes, abomination Increase alligator death count to 10 The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one as their dead form lies stomped on outside of its cage Their might have been blood poisoning involved or injecting a variety of toxic liquids into the body , but you remember that leg snapping was very popular in inflicting pain on alligators, though that was not peculiar to them Mother favored binding their maw with a metal cable and cranking it around till their jaws, jaw bone and skull were shattered The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one as their dead form lies stomped on outside of its cage Alligator will spin attack because of last week and your increasing bloodlust Alligator will spin attack because of last week and your increasing bloodlust Put back the rifle and grab Father's hunting dagger which resembles cloaking device Need to send AT field burst through soul not bothering recharging or mood manipulation either looking for some actually pain needs to make yell stop listen get so scared they think out way actually help themselves remind them selves why was put on this Earth love Alligator Squad , ask for names at least Tackles to the ground as alligator lands on top of me, fortunately not crushing my ribs due to the alligator soul being above me, though it's heavy body does cover most of my front I reach up to the side of it's neck before it can snap at me with it's jaws and stab it with the dagger Tackles to the ground as alligator lands on top of me, Reaction pours through all available points of the psychic connection as it feels it's death A physical sensation in the mind is not one that can be emulated by words in retrospect or while the experience is happening, in-fact only over a decade of administering prolongued pain assisted by Psychic abilities has allowed this ability to manifest through me as a child Reaction pours through all available points of the psychic connection as it feels it's death If size is above a ratio it continues to spin then coil about crushing me with it's entire body, If size is small to medium it will flail it's head and snap trying to reach the source of the pain stabbing it , It's soul at this moment in time feels like it can be fully conquered and killed by me If size is above a ratio it continues to spin, If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound and determined to shake me off or smush me with it's weight pressing down on It will try catch me in it's mouth and smack me across , aside from inject pain into soul this such a physical connection will allow effect If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound and determined to shake me off or smush me with it's weight pressing down on It will try catch me in it's mouth and smack me across , Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound by a Green Humongo…tick…tick pla blue …tick Now this spec is a large one body is 3 and a half meters long and soul size correlates to such size mentioned by Dr C T , have injected as much fear respect and pain that I can into it Would normally link up to avoid further complications but connection feels like sustainable source of fear with some added negative emotions on top, not worth linking into oblivion for since will reach breaking point Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound by a Green Humongo…tick…tick Action will be a front snap completely around with head and right before makes contact plunge dagger into skull and inject as much emotion into it as physically possible, sure to kill servant in physical realm as well Snap ! Action will be a front snap completely around with head and right before makes contact plunge dagger into skull and inject as much emotion into it as physically possible, Neck hold doesn't allow enough strength to plunge weapon in as deep as I would like it too, but it got a fair bite of the dagger , fell pretty slowly from large height ramming the blade in fully into the brain through the back of it's skull as it fell Psychic link snaps from over-exertion of emotions Neck hold doesn't allow enough strength to plunge weapon in as deep as I would like it too, from other alligators is instant , mostly fear some anger , they hadn't really been doing much at the time most just sitting around a little ways away from their dead alpha However most of them start coming towards me now with promise of alpha blood Fortunately , as host I'm quite popular still and get a lot of respect for killing enemy Reaction from other alligators is instant , Increases gravity working on the alligator and give myself a little height where I grab a branch on the way up and the trees canopies are pretty thick so I have time to consider my next moves I decided that too many changes to full humongo size would be too taxing and not be able to sustain for long, So I settle on Maybe half way to three quarters of an ordinary human size Physically 40% bigger than baseline Increases gravity working on the alligator and give myself a little height where I grab a branch on the way up and the trees canopies are pretty thick so I have time to consider my next moves Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin tumble and toss with no respect for the laws of nature at least on a macro level, when below it acts as normal Earth gravity Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin tumble and toss with no respect for the laws of nature at least on a macro level, Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound less obedient and protective but this can only pertain to self, when above it becomes sentient ; (W H Y) and start viewing itself as a higher principles of nature and morality Also change my hair colour to a nice burnt orange to remind myself and others that I am indeed a fluff, changing eye colour to yellow With these changes made observations of my new surrounding begun Under a ratio of gravity it becomes boundless obedient and protective but this can only pertain to self, T know for science Let Dr C Realised that all horses, cattle and other tamed animals were free ; (Including unicorn herds) and many seemed to be heading North-West towards forests at the foot of the hills Action: neck hold fell pretty slowly from a height ramming the blade in fully into the brain through the back of it's skull as it fell Cow Confirmed kill of large non-hostile during rutting season animal that no human would want to touch due to disease neck hold doesn't allow enough strength to plunge weapon in as deep as I would like it too, Without that protection though It would be an entirely different matter Warm blood feels good in my mouth, still have most of the feelings of being human but just move faster , think faster and feel more instincts As he watches them pulling out towards the bayou he suddenly feels something very , very wrong I can tell when each and everyone starts pouring insane willpower upon him causing his grip to weaken with every bite and slash Unfortunately , Latest News! territory carved out via editor wars , mostly concerning Native issues They are mainly in control of America's printing presses and information flow elbow drop from huge height crushes alligator's skull forcing a mixture of blood , san and chunks of bone into it's brain It had taken longer than during the brief flurry that had started the mad dash but eventually Don Ginsu's chest ; ( soon to be covered in decoration ) glances upon the female Alpha Alligator and it realizes that she is indeed something worthy of grabbing his attention especially given how similar their scents were as they both bask in the waters before he arrived elbow drop from huge height crushes alligator's skull forcing a mixture of blood , Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator pack and they kick into overdrive flipping at inhuman speeds You got bashed up quite a bit, big motherfucker hits hard but you stabbed the living hell out of it as well Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator pack and they kick into overdrive flipping at inhuman speeds Sad alligators get more sad der and turn faster too ; ( what with despair and all ) You are bashed out of the water and towards a fallen tree above land, bounces a bit of the dry air in its thirst to end your life before other alligators pin you down painfully but ready to be devoured alive if needed You wish for the strength to continue fighting despite your broken bones being exposed to the air Sad alligators get more sadder and turn faster too ; Angery alligators get more angery and stronger Wounded alligtors ignore pain and ram into your wound with more force then ever to break open your strongest bones, they're pissed thhat an interloping mammal is among them and in their space getting stronger than them when they can barely move from trauma But some don't deserve your love and to conserve strength get outa there as quickly as possible ( You get that feeling too sometimes Angery alligators get more angery and stronger Some even become enraged and switch for Frightened alligtors afriad of dying alone only wanting to drag you down too Puts finger between jaw bits to widen the wound stayign out of range of fatal clamp damage Pushes with a damaged organs into and through your fleshy armor ( which only worsens your foot injury) You crush through the gator's soul easily ending it's connection to nature and dragging it below into oblivion, it turns docile before slowly drifting away Some even become enraged and switch for Frightened alligtors afriad of dying alone only wanting to drag you down too The rest turn to sludge But you are too tired to fight off the physical sensations assaulting you as you feel like vomiting with what you have done The spirits have left the building upon your fall and you let out a slow sigh low in pitch while everything goes dark angered alligatoresr get more angery and stronger Wounded alligatores ignore pain and ram into your wound with more force then ever to break open your strongest bones, they're pissed thaht an interloping mammal is among them and in their space having all the strenth when they can barely move from trauma Reaction: Some even become terrified of dying alone only wanting to drag you down too when they realize ain't no way out Alternatively reactions: ( only do this if you caught a sad one early) Happy alligators get armor and shields with euphora over thier personal survival popping up all over them Alligtors rushing at you stop fighting and start hugging eahc other instantly spreading the happinness into you , ending your ability to fight Sad alligators get more sad when they realize ain't no way out and stronger as they all join their actions together crushing down on you like a tight vice in increasing speed and power A rush of blood in your brain and eyes you see gold coins falling from the sky each with a different animal imprinted on them Wheeling through the air collecting them how delightful! satsify all desires anything is possible with these coins! Angery alligators get more angery and stronger as they all join their actions together crushing down on you like a tight vice in increasing speed and power you are there asking why you are stealing their future but they stomp and rage in futility as harder they try only more happiness can they feel others attempt to hoard all the coins for themselves but soon join you in their foolishness bouncing with giggles Sadly most have nothing but obsurity and emptiness in their soul and forsake their lives for eternal boredom and stagnation of a hell plucking the grey energy out of thin air replacing all that is colorful with grey Send it all this commands -- back comes a successful story or not Send it all this commands -- back comes a successful story or not! You control this one moment in time How will you play it out? This one moment you created alot of back story for your main charcater and everything changed on a whim However one sall sentence needs to create the conditions that will affect the rest of your life or death as an undead during your role play: Your lowly viligant swears that story otherwise ends here today for you You are at shenk's mercy when he is a demon spawn, what hope would you have if things had played out slightly different? Who can say in this world? This one moment you created alot of back story for your main charcater and everything changed on a whim Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator at an early age or had a huge fondness for same That upped your confidance to swear you were a paladin for no other reason that there was nothing else impressive to select at the last second as your back story made up on the spot does not seem real plausible unless our would be writer could pull it off we all die like that when some anomoly in life is we do also come out winners here, you are gifted with Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator at an early age or had a huge fondness for same Fake left It is no clumsy falchion drops down from an high ward to cleave meat and shatter bone, well any bone but your own unless you act as such a predictable rusher at the right time hand up in surrendering motion to distract from paladin thin good blocking limbs tank stance your main charcater uses while holding thin goodsword in his right hand The light in teh air is better here and you see what kind of lighting fast weapondry it is Fake left hand up in surrendering motion to distract from paladin thin good blocking limbs tank stance your main charcater uses while holding thin goodsword in his right hand Fake right hand also up signalling to distract from the real action, whip left leg round then lead foot then sword follow through over head ready to fry the sadistic demon spawn watching somessgae being enacted, as your hop you trust your kill was still clean without unskilled wobbly bits Also hope your farmboy frolics hard for this one moment of success! Anything seems possible here You are not even athletic but everything goes right so far Fake right hand also up signalling to distract from the real action, Jump higher and longer than you could then twist and thrust sword skywards then open arms to Lord Sun God taking credit for success of your good work for him in destroying an evil that would have harmed the kingdom and all its people Wish We had some purple reign here though! aquamarine blue skies are so workable but come on cmon! Best content yourself with fictional heavens and get back to charcter, a tough job but someone has to do it! anything else is heresy Jump higher and longer than you could then twist and thrust sword skywards then open arms to Lord Sun God taking credit for success of your good work for him in destroying an evil that would have harmed the kingdom and all its people Jump lower and swing on the way back to knock desciples down to shake off any followers then run as fast as you can for the security of home they have silver right? Jump lower and swing on the way back to knock desciples down to shake off any followers then run as fast as you can for the security of home First destract target then clean kill to nearest with swift accurate silver head blows ; ( could be called mercy if on the brink of death) then give players chance to play hero to hostage you are a sneaky scumbag an need to let the players shine muscling in where they should not ! Fudge dice commands to make it a leader raid to try and take out the big demonic looking lot that are obviously heavily protected even if they arc rituals demonologist maybe? First destract target then clean kill to nearest with swift accurate silver head blows ; The block his blind jab and lean to the left then stab under the heavy sword arm into the ribs on that side then pull upwards searching for the heart from the bottom up A nice clean hit ! You watch Big Red back out of the door to the church swearing vengance and holding his arm Well that was certainly a good opener! Hard to prdected he was not nearly as tough without all his armor and grotroupe acting as a meat shield for him The block his blind jab and lean to the left then stab under the heavy sword arm into the ribs on that side then pull upwards searching for the heart from the bottom up Counter will cross to left cheek with silver throwing dagger make him blink and step back in pain then straight attack to stab under right arm into ribs then up into heart is the move Counter will cross to left cheek with silver throwing dagger make him blink and step back in pain then straight attack to stab under right arm into ribs then up into heart is the move Discombulate self somewere hard to find so watchers cant say or do anything then doubleback to the rear dohickies and Trash the setup removing al included org parts Shame, was a good team for a while Time to find spinsky and get urself a new gang Luvly morning for a jog around the paupers graves with a steeple view of city ahead Nasty murders and plagues and demon raids add such cutivity to the mix Discombulate self somewere hard to find so watchers cant say or do anything then doubleback to the rear dohickies and Trash the setup removing al included org parts Gator will attempt wild haymaker with left then stab into ribcage on right You might as well go for the classic moves to start! Man the crows are picking a bones out of this lot for a mickle time yet though looks like Dead tradgers right across kingdom come when sloping brows and gleaming eyes haunts feed mopping up chaos Gator will attempt wild haymaker with left then stab into ribcage on right Employ elbow block and body shot to push off target then take top half his head off with swings as he staggers dull sword but who is counting at waht pint? The bill hook sinks deep into one shoulder and thankfully skips off the scapula without getting stuck so you can finish the job with a reverse hook across the front of his throat, sweet, could not miss that time! Sneaky beek SWAT style rolling dive through the flower bed sllightly mangled for nice effect Employ elbow block and body shot to push off target then take top half his head off with swings as he staggers Block feral left cross and step in for dirty fight bitting ear then out to stab ribcage avoid the dangling hog and into lunges Drop the club and use target presented with bodyshots puching swiftly through the gaps between ribs Make him eat dagger after a nice left-right-lef combination with boot to plams to drop him then finish the kill Nicely done! Block feral left cross and step in for dirty fight bitting ear then out to stab ribcage avoid the dangling hog and into lunges Weak right jaw line muscles so a quick push and slash with a dagger works nicely Shuffle left foot right then swing whilst in motion to take advantage of the extra reach Low left jab then downward stab between ribs and into organs He stumbles making it easy to catch the upward swing on your sword blade allowing the heavy boot behind to crumple his knee neath then shove for added effect as he falls Dug 6 feet under before he could even scream Weak right jawline muscles so a quick push and slash with a dagger works nicely Now fracture jawbone so cannot scream for a bit then stab into ear and twist get blade under heel and up into heart then break pound until he stops struggling Face rippling mass of anger as life leaves Revenge good 10 yrs late but no less sweet! As inane death if ever! Even demons has laugh at that one "On your feet noob! Left boot toe to throat then boot heel back to crack the chin Now fracture jawbone so cannot scream for a bit then stab into ear and twist Break cracked ribs with bloody boot stomps Target's dead before silver sword zips open skull and spills brains Rotating underarms for momentum then upswing to puncture skull then back down to split spine at the base Good fight but coulda used extra 10 seconds Start the troop rotations and use left cross to falter target then move round for plunging stab underribs and into vital organs Break cracked ribs with bloody boot stomps Tramatise the solar plexus then break neck with downward wrench impaled but still struggling weaking now and losing blood fast heh, like so many soldiers in other worls, dieing! Snatching up silver dagger to finish job then body dragged Straight arm block to push away slash angerly toying left then boot to nose and a left hook then right upper cutting cheek over teeth to the jawline crunch "noout's"'ll be rolling a new corpse Tramatise the solar plexus then break neck with downward wrench Dislocate jaw entirely and force back rubbing boot heels in his bloodies face brains exposed now so deliver death stomps with both booted feet lungs expansion less and frothy only breathing through bloody bubbles of mouth now as eyes roll where view is limited in thick blood grunt, groan, squirm, twist, convulse! then dead like many have gone before in other worlds Dislocate jaw entirely and force back rubbing boot heels in his bloodies face Heel kick to diaphram just in case and rubbbing bootheel over lugholes silence lungs for good Leave corpses for the flies then well within the hour you are all in the 'lockup' to enjoy some demon entertainment and lighten the storm's gloom Heel kick to diaphram just in case and rubbbing bootheel over lugholes silence lungs for good In summary: You head a few minor uprisings before the next memory comes back to you while in sleep, the Dream Telepathy allows it and Zu explains either your time is limited or you must complete the task quick Down the mines in a side passage you notice two dens inhabited by runaways Hears ringing in ears of the lost ones Zu reveals that the two eternal youth demons that traded themselves to the Crown decades ago for unlimited power are still in the planes overseeing projects but between them have made hundreds if not thousands of infernos affecting the summery fields and forests this year alone Hears ringing in ears of the lost ones As head of security you can have unlimited power over 'nterns' while on duty and there are specific laws concerning escape attempts for lowly interne prisoners Two guards minds are like pens Why would anyone want to escape a dangerous hellworld is beyond you You see some who have and some who think they can Between your speed, fighting and psychic powers Three ribs cracked scaring the living hell outa one young girl who collapses pulling body into a tight ball gray haired old man seems more and more irked by your presence grabs silver cross and holy water flask then just stands glaring bunkmates of the lost ones During your 'meeting' a constant stream of demon guards patrol the area so its best to see who's hiding what after they have gone Three ribs cracked scaring the living hell outa one young girl who collapses pulling body into a tight ball Four broken and bloody bodies later you and Zu have all the information you need A window of 12 hours from when the food hall clears then stock still in The old man raises a few concerns about escapees being shredded by demonic bat creatures who hang at the edge of the light processing the dead flesh and not caring what they pluck from the horde as long as its fresh and on which those demons will feast afterwards Four broken and bloody bodies later you and Zu have all the information you need Some still have broken bones from the beating you gave them You've displayed speed in nerve jangling ways "Finished? Good our time is so short " Demon guard patrols these halls are not light and without silver weapons you can only dispatch 1 every 10 minutes at best there's a total blockade on all windows and doors into or out of the light processing bunkers until staff exit only gates Everyone is given 2 towels and simple instructions Physcail recovery and some minor first aid is administered to the casualties as you sit at their table "No more tbat I can do now, your bodies will heal but may never be the same again my advice, follow orders and survive until something changes" you tell them Zu wheels his chair to your table Physcail recovery and some minor first aid is administered to the casualties as you sit at their table Six weeks in this light prison and only 4 pods broken today Corpus troll, zombie servant to a demon elite You wedge the troll under your armpit and force him along a corridor to pod room 3a and stuff him inside This will hopefully keep the master happy for awhile Watching his servant bump into the door jam on the way out the troll manages a clumsy salute with a toothy grin before the door slams shut on him "no escape from here trolly boy" Six weeks in this light prison and only 4 pods broken today Full physcoligical recovery six months attitude problem instilled past that point trolls are fun to control Heinous creature, so sadistic and hungry for violence hard to find, but soooo useful you've found Opens doors, shuts off security pedestals, fights on command and most importantly eats anything dead or alive All sorts of brain triggers available too, given your limited practice All up that pipe hit was the best thing that ever happened to you in this place Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized also After another cirlce of the processing plant to make sure there are no awake guards or shocked workers you head to your bunk room for some rest Its become hard to sleep during day but your bright screen lit room helps just has to be dimmed a bit Zu is waiting there turning his chair, He smiles Looks like its somthing good "Can you control 3 trolls at once? " he asks Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized also Step one: get on the alligators back step 2: well its somewhere here but step one comes first! "Not tried did the other batch provide some fighters? " you ask as your kicked back ready to hear good news for a change "The old man grew up on a farm, so fish the rottie out and see for yourself" Zu replies You dip your hands into the cage grab hold of one of the ugly things and pull it out This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator be patient and make sure to tire the thing out before you go for a massive classic wrestling maneuver like a bodypress or its teeth will be in your face! You fight the thing around, fake a move here prod it with your hands to react there, It must think it is fighting at least two humans with the way you are moving Wait for it to get tired you must wait for it to get tired This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator, Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front and for god sake no hand stands! their vision is designed to pick up changes in the water as well as movement and they have an excellent sense of feel through their skin floating just out of reach and prodding it with a stick and waiting is your best chance This too shall pass is what you tell yourself as the saliva drips off your face and the beast slobbers all over you Suddenly You feel its energy fade Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front and for god sake no hand stands! Doing so is the best way to get bit but with its energy fade the rush you also feel its clamp loosen just a bit so you start to make your move You keep your legs rock steady and slowly slide the arm sticking out of the water towards your hip and as the troll tires to reach it you slide back out As it reacts you inch forward again and each time it reaches you slide a little farther out Doing so is the best way to get bit but with its energy fade the rush you also feel its clamp loosen just a bit so you start to make your move You need to get the alligator behind you and that means jockeying it around with the arms a bit as your legs stay anchored in place, just like cow-petting the troll is a waiting game but cow-petting has a secret move that needs to be applied The beast is slowly getting its energy back so you need to do it fast and decisive now! You need to get the alligator behind you and that means jockeying it around with the arms a bit as your legs stay anchored in place, If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you and the troll and choosing who to attack Feeding it a treat like a nice fat basic would be good nah fist looks good enough Once the alligator lunges, since its mouth is about level with your waist you can turn quickly and slide right behind it! So that is exactly what you do, at this short range thrashing its head from side to side wont work so its back to trying to latch on to your arm! There is no time for subtlety now If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you and the troll and choosing who to attack If not possible using a cloth like a flag of some sort to distract the alligator then sprinting behind it with your arm half way into a sleeve as its teeth snap on empty air! Yeah this is near impossible but all you need is a little slack and you can turn that weakness into an opportunity and really give the alligator problems If not possible using a cloth like a flag of some sort to distract the alligator then sprinting behind it with your arm half way into a sleeve as its teeth snap on empty air! Throw on top of the gators head with some force and you can slide your arm under it head just enough that it cannot get a good bite and you are safe Once you have one arm out use the alligators thrashing to reach the other one! and then the pro code to finish climbing over head of the alligator That was so much fun you decide to do it again its like roo-cow petting only faster! Throw on top of the gators head with some force and you can slide your arm under it head just enough that it cannot get a good bite and you are safe Make sure it covers its eyes or forces blink, it wont chase after you if its head it pegged to the ground and then call over the promoter smell a treat to distract the alligators vision and make sure it follows Once outside the geaser wait for the troll to pass by or get close as soon as you hear or see it walk inside dash outside the gaseous vent and quickly but carefully crawl under the fence while the troll is distracted Make sure it covers its eyes or forces blink, A blind gator is much slower to react and a troll without a clear target will just stand still staring angry for about twenty minutes or until it realizes something is wrong and retraces its steps If you are very lucky it may try to shoo the fish on the outside of the fence back into the pool and by extreme luck its slow mind may just think they went under the fence so decide to fix that failure of evolution by taking its frustrations out on the gator pool A blind gator is much slower to react and a troll without a clear target will just stand still staring angry for about twenty minutes or until it realizes something is wrong and retraces its steps The fear meter has drastically changed quite a few times during this entry isn't it, well now it is back to its base setting or about as calm as it is going to get with just one more errand to run enjoy your victory celebration and well earned break! Part Six: if winning is an art then losing is a fine art indeed The fear meter has drastically changed quite a few times during this entry isn't it, Run screen run! sniff sniff I smell bacon, is someone cooking? oh that smells so sweet, only for winners in this troupe though the scent always draws big man on the scent pointer patrols Looks like a fishing camp over there and the trail seems to follow it Ok let's find a place to hide and use our toes as a meal depends things are going badly enough without adding troll steak to the list no offense to those lovely scaled people out there Run screen, Platformer games sure are odd when you break them down into memory sections have done that a few times now, makes you wonder why they even bothered with so much repetition instead of scripted events almost as if someone was asleep at the keyboard Or perhaps cared little about anything but selling the most copies while admitting a random amount of factors to ensure re playability making games fun is not always in the equation sadly Platformer games sure are odd when you break them down into memory sections have done that a few times now, How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap western most log to dock? Hmm I agree with the choice and it is probably one of a few that will have you reaching land but giving the length you may want to adjust your speed factor by pressing the "F" key then enter and tuck your legs up more before you reach the edge or you will be in for an unpleasant swim How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap western most log to dock? 3 meters 5 meters 8 meters 1 meters Aim screen blast the legs first when they have the highest center of gravity, then when the lower the hips to walk with an arm stuck out for balance go for the kill by targeting gun level at arm then empty chest Happy hunting Because this log has no motors you can see the small waves in it that match your rhythm of breathing Then mix that in with how things sound and feel on your skin and it all becomes one big bundle of senses not to mention your prey is out there somewhere Aim screen, You have ten frames of animation at your command and going by the time on your stopwatch it takes 1 66 seconds to cycle each frame so a few quick multiplications give you an 5 3 second wait on your prey using this tactic That sounds great until you realize most of that time will be spent with you frozen in place unable to do anything because anything else would mean sacrificing the element of surprise You have ten frames of animation at your command and going by the time on your stopwatch it takes 1 Each frame is a camera shake view of running toward the alligator which is in wire frame mode to show how far you have left to travel and as you approach your prey the arm raise slowly near center frames 6-3 then during frame 2 the gun appears in your hands and by frame 5 the enemy has entered kill mode shown by the signature red blood color that males his life energy available for targeting Congratulation one out of two is not bad for your first prey chase and killed by a master at that but we will see how well you can do with the next Each frame is a camera shake view of running toward the alligator which is in wire frame mode to show how far you have left to travel and as you approach your prey the arm raise slowly near center frames 6-3 then during frame 2 the gun appears in your hands and by frame 5 the enemy has entered kill mode shown by the signature red blood color that males his life energy available for targeting You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight the longer this remains unbroken the more damage you are dealing Hitting the alligator directly will stun it briefly and allowing you to gain ground but missing that benchmark entirely and you may bounce off or fall to the side and have to start over again Hitting its legs will slow it a little but not by much You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight the longer this remains unbroken the more damage you are dealing You must ajust the angle of your shots in order to land a killing blow unlike last time where pointing gun level at arm was good enough to get the job done Finally unlike your last shot, here you have the advantage that your prey is unaware of it's attack just yet "Wait" you think as you bring up your menu and notice an option you havent seen before that looks likes its for the alligatow hit targets Hold on how did this get here then? "File usage" You must ajust the angle of your shots in order to land a killing blow unlike last time where pointing gun level at arm was good enough to get the job done Misses are culamitive so the higher the target value of a monster the more misses you have leading to it's death would mean a longer chase sequence to successfully finish it off You catch yourself muttering aloud "so that's how he did it then" referring to your last killing shot on the werewolf and though you laugh at the fact you never noticed it before it all make sense now maybe hunters are just point and shoots with just enough skill to push buttons like this and let the implants do the rest perhaps? Misses are culamitive so the higher the target value of a monster the more misses you have leading to it's death would mean a longer chase sequence to successfully finish it off You wish to get a zero percent miss on this alligatod so you hold down the fire button to enter free mode You no longer run toward it but instead stop to take aim Waiting for your prey to come into range and it doesn't disappoint first pass it is level with his front foot then head then body on the next and finally on the 3rd it passes right by his tail ending your ranged attack option You wish to get a zero percent miss on this alligatod so you hold down the fire button to enter free mode You no longer run toward it but instead stop to take aim Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line and up and down the forward pistol position to try and get the best possible shot Glancing between your target zone and your gun view you consider just holding down fire right now and finishing this chase early with as many raw rounds through his heart as you can hurl but it is better to be sure so delay is required for a little more aiming Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line and up and down the forward pistol position to try and get the best possible shot The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat besides you really want to fake out the werewolf with this one and give him 2 misses back to back thats sure to drive him crazy wont it? the first the line comes down from his head to where his front foot is planted as in your view the right side of the screen, a slight roll of your thumb to the left and up a small bit and you lock it in place The line turns from blue t o red and you return to the gun view The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat, For courners ity you decide to roll your off hand index finger over his body so any left over bit of bullets scrapes his underside as he passes by The line turns from red to purple as you take aim and he is soon in perfect alignment for your shots power through his 3 hearts with ease ( Werewolf ) Grrrrrraaa ! " He bellows pain when the round impact into his flesh and a quick glance see him falter and recover but no blood comes from the new wound For cournersity you decide to roll your off hand index finger over his body so any left over bit of bullets scrapes his underside as he passes by The words randomly change color and you have to wait 1 more second for it the ability to take effect again otherwise the fight would be a lot shorter then it needs to be giving the werewolf nothing but a free shot at ravaging your corpse halfway through it all Natural 20s are supposed to be special lucky in adventuring as you learned from Mistress so it is probably befitting the killing blow be something so rare The words randomly change color and you have to wait 1 more second for it the ability to take effect again otherwise the fight would be a lot shorter then it needs to be giving the werewolf nothing but a free shot at ravaging your corpse halfway through it all Stay low-go high -go low again? Interesting hip—hop tactics Why not use an explosive for a bit of variety? The red and purple coloring of the word explosion on the side of your screen takes your attention momentarily off the monster nearing the end of it's run Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly the guns shoots out one-by-two rght up the freeway of his monstrous wormlike bodies and into his maw of sharp teeththe engyns bounce of his cheeks and into to sky rendered ineffective Any second now the results will be made clear Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly the guns shoots out one-by-two rght up the freeway of his monstrous wormlike bodies and into his maw of sharp teeththe engyns bounce of his cheeks and into to sky rendered ineffective Push up quickly and wait for him to come back They said that this weapon had the ability to rip monsters like him apart with no issues, yet all it served to do was now give him a mouthful of ammunition Push up quickly and wait for him to come back With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon- go for the kill shot A few grunts and brief moments later the bullets were pulled from his mouth like someone was there to fish them out with a stick, of course this led to an opening soon enough you see his throat go vulnerable for a split second so you unleash a hail of bullets free style With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon- go for the kill shot Touch the big dot and hold and try to keep you figer on the dot as long as possible "Gggrrraaahhh ! A mouthful of hot lead and silver fillings reign down on his neck and body but the beast refuses to stayed backed down so lettle more than half of your bullets hit the intended spot With ehrmost a entire magasine amount of hot metal in his gullet the monster is set afire and went into frenzy mode ripping into the purple tentacled 2nd tier monster as they enter half szie range Imagine a straight line donw the alligators head and back and tail if possible You joke around with yourself, wasting bullets at the very end of magazine , no silver inside You search for somthing else to shoot at since you ran out of ammo- what luck there is another burning monster running full throttle this time towards your fleet of vehicles to your left You rush towards it and takes potshots as it charges angrily Get a running start down that line and keep low ready to turn around somersault when it's close enough range "Papapapa Papapap Para Para Parapara Para You begin as usual with what you consider the basics of being an agent of cal us, ing this target into submission , every thing you learn as a cal us agent you apply it against well target in rest like this one part tactics another part skill and then the amount of luck is just insane Get a running start down that line and keep low ready to turn around somersault when it's close enough range Leap forward with hands extended outward swaying body back and forth "Eish! " you yell out, your bullets running out but the creature approaching closer Your heart beats rapidly , to see if it works or not that's why you're here for- ultimate challenge of tests that weed out the weak from the professio nals of the organization "Come ere ya furry piece of shi Leap forward with hands extended outward swaying body back and forth The hands need to land on the alligator's neck it needs to be held on for 2 minute straight with no breaks Take a deep breath in, exhale your vision began to sway and your body grew heavy Something is off here even if this thing is killed the idea that someone is watching you from there, analyzing how you were going to deal with the situation flooded into your mind You just know there is something more than what you thought The hands need to land on the alligator's neck, Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs is were you need to be Only the best of the best make it through the tests laid out by the old"men in the tower" Rumors are they've lived longer than anyone, great wisdom and knowledge makes them superior t othe others but when it come s to the mouth no one can enter Wrong way! wrong way! The jaws grind loudly against you and lurchs forward with a speed you didn't think was possible for something of this size Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs is were you need to be When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground - think up and down not side to side The noise is enought to shatter your ear drums and the burning sensation sets in quickly, this thing doesn't want to play around anymore- you need to get off it fast or be chomped in half All the while being chewed on by a mouth that has 3 footlong razor sharp teeth moving rapidly up and backwords trying to cut through anything in it's we ay forward When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground- think up and down not side to side Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open up completley giving the body a beaten look As the body weakens you pull down harder and muscle the neck with 3 appendages bulging your eyes open and feel the blood rush as your vision goes red Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open up completley giving the body a beaten look Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high up where the skin is thinnest and beat at a notch on top, once those rocky objects are in weay you'll grasp them to break the skin more and moving upwards towards a brain that is larger tan yours but remember the eyeless beast cant see you Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high up where the skin is thinnest and beat at a notch on top, Knees should touch th ground whenever necessary and during the end phase of the battle use it as leverage so your body can stay high up during the stressful moments Feeling fatigued already mean you wont last another round like most of the others, so make every strike from 3 appendages count! Best of luck! Knees should touch th ground whenever necessary and during the end phase of the battle use it as leverage so your body can stay high up during the stressful moments Squeeze the alligator's flanks and you decide to go for the jaw on the left side as it seems to be closest to falling over Once you close in that's when you spot an opening below the lower jaw through which you can fit your appendage inside! This means business now, strike with a heavy handed swing and try to keep it straight so your fulcrum has something to push against designed for leverage The lower jaw crumbles almost immediately hence sending a 4 foot head flying onto its flank Squeeze the alligator's flanks and you decide to go for the jaw on the left side as it seems to be closest to falling over The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and your center of mass from escaping to the side That means you can take a few hits before needing to jump away or otherwise While these are incapacitated the front left and right legs need to be pinned down for a longer duration, without those binds the jaw will just keep moving One way or another the mouth will be still before you recharge for another stomp The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and your center of mass from escaping to the side If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll get yourself out as quickly as you can Once you sting a jaw a couple of times the beast will start to shake it violently, keep on track and try not to be thrown off Stop touching the ground if possible since that also slows your recharge rate Most teeth fall out after cracking once but some will stay in the jaw, so give it one more strike to make sure all is broken beyond use Repeat this twice more to the rightside jaw since you are committed now If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll, You have lost control when the animal does this Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght this seems to give most control over the direction of movement and being able keep most appendages touch the ground while stopping any from moving under the animal itself It's a shiver Indonesias 3rd largest island, you have made a raft that seems to be sufficient to hold you as you aim towards the opposite shore The log attached to it might come in handy for something but you need to get your raft accross first! At least there are no dangerous sea creatures around Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght, Their is a percentage chat -- click the down arrow to increase weight until it is a full one hundred percent It seems the bigger you get, the less you weigh and capable of doing so, balance this trade off by getting as large as you dare since that is what is keeping you afloat in the first place Stop watching your thumbs or you'll start to count them out loud! Dig your teeth into your arm? It seems that's all are still working at this moment It is a precentage of strength you want to use in each location Get as large as you dare since that is what allowed you get them without plummeting into the sea Looks like a two-staged Spinosaurus swooping down at you! Buckle up and rely on your raft to help stay afloat while maneuvering around this hungry hunter It seems like someone is trying to lead you into some kind of trap, take the offer or keep rafting off the coast of New Guinea Keeping the back legs up means you can occasionally see their belly, and maybe try a weak-jab The torwards Papua New Guina brings rough water A large wave from behind, you don't know what could be causing this Might have something to do and the storm coming in or perhaps the steep drop-off of the coast of Northern Australia causing large waves to push up clamp on your raft for dear life since if it pops you'll be swimming with dangerous stuff closing in! Keeping the back legs up means you can occasionally see their belly, Keeping the head down seems like the best choice since the sides are practically made of spikes Only by keeping the hands may you occasional catch a peek at their belly, and perhaps weak-jab there, use those opportunities when they arrive How great was Kyale's battle from atop his Mesopithecus against his approaching enemies Your fearless cries echo propaganda that need not to be repeated here Keeping the head down seems like the best choice since the sides are practically made of spikes Rotate you dominate hand forward while half-rotating the weaker hand remain at the base of your wrist With claws out for batting away any blows, ducked down below attacks, and strong footing while reaching forward to tear with tooth and nail Rotate you dominate hand forward while half-rotating the weaker hand remain at the base of your wrist Remain in contact with the gator whenever possible Try to stick to his belly as he occasionally exposed it while powering past you since that is substantially weaker than anywhere else Use your weight to stay down once he grab on since that will allow more sticking power Do not try to twist with the animal, but rather pull towards yourself in an attempt to stay intact Remain in contact with the gator whenever possible Keep your strength on his side of the raft so he can't easily capsize it With a herky-jerky motion you pry off any of the shingle rock edges causing a pain in the you know what for you and your opponent Once there is a large enough space to do so, slide your body out of the miniture cage formed by their little arms and then push yourself towards freedom You have managed to stay afloat! Keep your strength on his side of the raft so he can't easily capsize it Stay in contact with the gator Stay in contact with the gator whenever possible Contact is a percentage as well Slide you hand forward down the middle of the gators head Feels like sandpaper along your arm as you proceed to try to control his head You may be his size, but tough scales guard this creature You may deflect a few blows here and there, but tip the fight in your opponents favor by always keeping your balance Hard skinny legs helps you wrap around these flexible appendages, limiting the reach of your opponent is your best bet at survival Use your legs! Cover both eyes with your hand pressing against them while protected by sharp claws Try to push the animal away from you enough to gain some much needed distance It's not pretty but it'll do Up and at them ! Cover both eyes with your hand pressing against them while protected by sharp claws The alligator will retract there eyes into their skulls with increased contact with you, Up and at them! Think upon the pathways you take in your life so far What would your tribe think of this battle? What did they think of your convictions for battle in the first place? Who knows? Perhaps Kyale the Undefeated is with you watching from afar Shutting out everything but your enemy, the fight begins The alligator likes to take advantage of those who are smaller, sneakier, or otherwise at a disadvantage The alligator will retract there eyes into their skulls with increased contact with you, Blinding the animal temporary to give your self an advatnage Striking the soft belly of the beast using its own weight against itself Blind percent of the gator 's by grabbing a sneaky bite when you have the foot on your foe Stay clear of those huge jaws when they snap closed They often miss, but not by much Likewise, do not directly block its view when it does this in an effort to scare you into getting caught in the path of those vicious teeth Stepping on the back limbs of your foe, grabbing any exposed body part to bring him down Bringing your enemy close is key to victory Blind percent of the gator's by grabbing a sneaky bite when you have the foot on your foe Press down on the eyes with more strenght causing immense pain Using your opponents strengths against itself, sending it crashing to the ground half blind and more Grabbing any part of the mouth when those teeth are exposed using the pressure points in grabbing its jaws or pushing back its eager face with each chomp Its hard to think when adrenaline is rushing through you, but this creature moves fast and you can't forget that Press down on the eyes with more strenght causing immense pain Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening at the most crucial movement Try to get the jaw on the ground so that it can't bite you as easily Sometimes using your adversaries own weight against themselves is enough It works well enough to topple even the largest of foes How about turning this methods against others? Ring the neck of the beast once caught inside of those jaws Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening at the most crucial movement Slide your other hand forward and run it along the bottom jaw line Sends massive pain signals once that ripple throughout the muscle along the jaw bone judging by how the creature screams out Put all your weight behind the horn stabbing it into the softest part of its head Tail is used mainly for fighting, but this creature can't use it to it's maximum effectiveness anymore now that you have caught hold of it It has two main purposes as far as you are concerned though, ramming and whipping Look for soft skin around bone since things tend to be much softer there Hooves are extremely fragile too, keep that in mind as you fight off this pesky creature Smash your foot into the top of the alligator's leg, feeling it break and cave inward This beast relies on its size and push through abilities to win fights, what happens when those abilities arnt there though? Those large sharp teeth can do some serious damage with just a single bite, defending against such a beast is key to victory! Look for soft skin around bone since things tend to be much softer there Place fingers under the jaw and using the grip to control the head before it can bite down Heavily rely on defense as your opponent has a clear advantage in speed and strength in its attempt to ram into you with that hard skull of his own Big things often topple over easy given the right push, lean back and gain a bit more space then rush forward to topple this overgrown lizard! Place fingers under the jaw and using the grip to control the head before it can bite down Move palm and thumb to the top of his nose then push upwards using the leverage to flip the head back and stretching that snout in an odd angle Given the proper amount of force, you can actually tear the snout right off the alligator Unlike human skin though, alligator hides are very thick and take quite a beating before showing any signs of injury Move palm and thumb to the top of his nose then push upwards using the leverage to flip the head back and stretching that snout in an odd angle Grip firmly on the front foot, then pull back with all your might making sure to keep a controlled motion so as not to hurt yourself as well Once pulled back, do it again and again Soon, the bone should snap breaking through the skin and coming out the other side of the leg While painful and horribly broken, it should still function with a limp Without its sprinterdash; gaiturdash; the lizard won't be able drag you anywhere anymore no matter how stubborn it is Grip firmly on the front foot, Allright he is moving in for the kill, gotta try something different or this beast is going to make mincemeat out of your feet Some creatures in the swamps are bigger than others, and with size comes proportionate weight when thousands of pounds are heading your way it is best to get the hell out of the way Give yourself some distance from his charge, then give a tremendous leap to avoid his beating Allright he is moving in for the kill, The slipperyniss of the mud around you can impact the success of your catch The more it slips around, the easier you can lose your footing while jumping in another If this thing weighs what you think it does, you are going to need every bit of help you can get to stay balanced All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke of their ambush, so if you just get out of the way at least you have a chance to live, you do not want any part of him taking a chomp on you Get away as fast as you can while he is biting at nothing, and hope that you can keep yourself up right while your hands are covered in mud All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke of their ambush, The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws The only worry is getting in his way while he rushes forward, and before you know it he will try to take a generous mouthful of your leg with him so that wide open mouth of his is useless against you as a weapon A belt on the inside of his mouth can do some serious damage if gripped in their teeth so be sure to keep your distance Trolls and ogres are tall creatures, making the vertical style of combat rather in their favor The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws, You could hold it shut with one hand- that doesnt mean you should hold it shut with one hand A good troll can break your grip and that would be the end of you Keep it shoved tight with your foot while you tie it off tight with your sash Lacking thumbs and a rigid nails, a troll cannot open his mouth under normal circumstances This does not mean you should trust him one bit, as he will already be trying to rip off your foot inorder to breakfast on your tendons! The one hand covering the eyes can move down until it hooks down on the lower jaw Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest for a moment, by his nose This will be plenty of time to latch your wrists together behind his head Now for the arm over the mouth With it being on top of the snout and your body weight holding it down after having lifted the gator overhead, his attempts at biting you will be futile Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest, Once the head is at a ninety degree angle the gator can no longer fight back Now you have wrestled this alligator into submission, you can think on how to finish him off Most folks will be wanting to finish the beast in some sort of visceral way, either cutting his head from his body with an axe, or burning the heart right out of his chest With his mouth taped shut now you can however do something less labor intensive and a more suitable kill if you just want him dead quick Congratualtions you have wrestled the alligator into submission Getting off the gator Now that his mouth is taped up, he cannot attack you with it Also his mouth is full with sash, as such he also cann ot try biting you at all You may be thinking you can just kick your legs and force your way up over his back, however, that won't work either as your lower body is still underwater with only your legs outside of it Getting off the gator Now that his mouth is taped up, Push the gators head back to the ground and wrap one of your legs around the base of his tail Slide the leg out you had hold of the nose with up such that the knee is at the base of the top jaw Pull that same side arm through and slide it under the jaw from the opposite side Now reach over with the leg you used to hold the jaw shut knee first and push down on the top of it, thus lifting the lower jaw toward that side while you pull your other arm back through Push the gators head back to the ground and wrap one of your legs around the base of his tail Give your arm a solid yank backwards and your other hand should pop right out Slide the dominant hand back into a position to cover the eyes and pull the same side leg out and through such that the foot is right by the shoulder joint Give it another yank to get it all the way free of the gator's mouth as he snaps down in futility at where you just were Now with both hands free, remove the tape from his mouth completely and pat him gently on the head for good measure Slide the dominant hand back into a position to cover the eyes and pull the same side leg out and through such that the foot is right by the shoulder joint Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck while you also lean back Pressing your legs against the side of the gator Halfway lift yourself, and twist using your braced leg and hooked arm such that the alligator is twisted over top of you Now shift everything close to the side and slide the arm that was next to the neck out from under Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck while you also lean back Now that he has no leverage at all, kick your legs together to slide off the gator's muscular back Slide your dominat=jnt hand back from the eyes to the neck With other hand grab just under the front of the lower jaw and yank sharply backward This is just like from numerous TV shows and movies you've seen, people every times they catch a big ol' alligator You should be in the same position you where in when you started to battle this beast You are squatting on the gators back with the dominant hand reaching down to his right mouth hinge and your other hand grabbing under the bottom jaw Now all you have to do is pull straight back and push the jaw up with every once of strength you have Now because you are not trying to reach around his mouth but rather just from one side, you will end up resting part of your arm on his snout You are squatting on the gators back, Keep legs tight against the body and twist, that should be enough to get you up and over the gator and onto his other side Predictably the alligator struggles mightily against your very simple plan You are able to pull the mouth open a few inches but it is clearly too narrow and air is getting by your grip Let go and try this again Same thing again, you've put your gloves into his mouth ar far as you can Keep legs tight against the body and twist, Much more difficult for the alligator to bite you when you are on its back then when you are on its side You can reach the mouth on either side and it is narrower so you should be able push it open a little more Reach into the mouth and try to grab the sides, doesnt matter which ones as long as there is one on each That means one of your arms should reach clear to the back You pull at it with everything you have and still only manage to open it half way before your grip slips and he snaps it cruelly back shut When the animal struggles push it down again and repeat the process This ends up working but it take a long time When the back of its mouth is gaping wide you push your other arm in under it and cover your forearm with your hand, such that now both of your elbows are embedded in his mouth Make sure your arm is pushed down as you slowly pull it backward Even though the gator has no leverage to snap forward now it still fights against you When the animal struggles push it down again and repeat the process Dont let the animal stuggle free until you have completely pulled your arm out of the body AND got a good hold on the back of its mouth and your other hand is on the lower jaw closing it Doing so is probably one of the hardest things you have ever tried in your entire life! Something you were completely unaware of until right now, but this struggle has really taken it out of you, mentally more than physically Dont let the animal stuggle free until you have completely pulled your arm out of the body AND got a good hold on the back of its mouth and your other hand is on the lower jaw closing it Grip around the neck Depending on the size of the gator you may not be able to throw it very far If it actually comes off the ground it's somewhere between 3 and 5 feet perhaps Not very far Its clearly too large, even for such an idea and you going to have to resort to your backup plan, slitting it's throat and letting it bleed out Thats ok though, those are still very dangerous and you might get hurt, they aren't impossible Thats ok though, Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward far enough for it to be out of danger You place your feet firmly about 12 inches apart and squat down very low Wrap both hands around the gator's snout and position them about 6 inches apart Very important that the two grip locations are different widths, this is because the alligator CANNOT turn its head side to side when your hands are not dual flush against each other Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward far enough for it to be out of danger This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape the inevitable snap back Get both hands firmly around the snout, thumbs pointing towards it's mouth Thumbs ALWAYS up They are the weakest digits and it will allow the gator to slip it much easier This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape the inevitable snap back Jump back as far as you can and pull forward with all of your might, sliding the gator out and on the ground You jump back as far as the close surroundings allow and give it all you've got, bringing the gator to a narrow escape as it slides out a few inches The struggle is great and even though you maintain your grip upon the snout the thrashing and pulling nearly pulls your arms out of their sockets as you try to maintain control of its snapping head Jump back as far as you can and pull forward with all of your might, And keep moving backward And eventually you find some distance to let go and maintain a safe distance as the alligator thrashes about In your rush it unfortunately is caught under a fallen branch as its body contorts upon itself and you get the passable idea that perhaps you could make a club out to finish the job Its unfortunate that the only sturdy looking piece of wood is still in reach of it, but this is the only way you can think of to finish it off for good right now The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss issuing a challenge, but if you just decline to respond and concentrate your efforts at the back of its skull with your newfound bat you might be able to knock it out for good Going in for the kill The alligator snaps at everything simply because its nervous and predetory instinct is taking over It doesnt want to be captured and feels the need to get away, the most basic of animalistic instincts But this split second snap you see an opening The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss, Let it snap Just not at YOU I've seen it many times before and it's trained but has no real way of differentiating between friend or foe when its in this sort of a state You hit the back of its skull and when it snaps to the right, you go to the left and land blow after blow All of them go straight to the back of the skull leaving deep dents in the bone as all your might goes behind each swing Let it snap Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away even more when you think you've done enough This predator has been scared into submission and the animal inside isn't about to let it regain its sense any time soon The alligator quite simply was overwhelmed starting with seeing your large shape covered by the cloak and angled standing before it, then feeling the scratchy fibers of the material against its hide and finally the firm grip holding it tight when all other-like preditors simply brush it off or instantly overcome it's prey Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away even more when you think you've done enough If the gator chases you run away directly from it in a straight line until you reach somewhere it can't, then continue on your journey Your scent isn't going to be on it now and unless its head somehow hits 180 degrees it wont be able to see you in such darkness You pick up the rocks one by one you've dropped and put them back in your bag, pull out the lamp and pat yourself on the back for surviving that encounter If the gator chases you run away directly from it in a straight line until you reach somewhere it can't, It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too your attack probably saved its life and it will just resort back to following the river once again You ready yourself for the continued journey and turn out the lamp one more time, continuing on in the earthy brown tunnel which is steadily becoming wider as you travel You haven't eaten anything yet today but the grueling effort it took to bash that gator's skull in has given your appetite a checkmate It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too, Thats how you wrestle an alligator you bash its head in with a rock Thats how you wrestle an alligator, I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator soon to come as I accidentally step on a dry twigging snapping it in two The crack is ear piercing and I am startled by a loud hiss directly behind me I turn around yet see nothing but hear another hiss coming from the right, then one more from the left I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator soon to come as I accidentally step on a dry twigging snapping it in two All the percentage sliders need to be change th— I see three slithering shapes in the dirt illuminated by a sliver of moonlight shining down from the cracks above They're following the exact same rule I've seen all the others follow, always take the shortest route to your objective Although I doubt snakes are capable of extending their bone knives they've managed to cut themselves multiple times on the sharp edges of rocks strewn about on the ground All the percentage sliders need to be change, Take a litte bit from all when slid in' from shadow to shadow They have also taken to hissing when they've sensed my presence and have slowly been chasing me ever since Two identical ones have appeared right in front of me causing me to leap backwards and straight into the other one that was sneaking up on my left side Fortunately I keep my cool and fling myself the other way right before all three lunge at my legs Take a litte bit from all when slidin' from shadow to shadow The screen looks like the following although it is flipped on its side It wasn't long after you saw those other symbols that it began to get dark and now that you are lost in the cave system you had hoped would lead you out of this forsaken swamp it has become exceptionally dark, like the dusk of the dead of night kind of dark The screen looks like the following, [move to your left ][jump][ move to your right ] A big decision rests upon your shoulders once again You can try to follow the lights that you caught a glimpse of or try to intelligently backtrack your path Step two: Thinking about it, you remember that the lights seemed ot be coming from the right and after slamming sores on your shins a couple of times while backtrackingYou decide to head towards the lights This might seem like a rash decision to some but given that the sun hasn't risen yet and there are no birds or other daytime animals out and about, wherever these lights are coming from has to be better than out here Get control of the mouth the lights can be misleading Don't go into HIDDEN ENCOUNTERS until ready You need to be careful Don't become a victim TURN BACK, GO BACK from where you came from Step three: You begin seeing more and more lights as you cautiously trek through the undergrowth and before too long you notice something up ahead Get control of the mouth; Once on the gator you must get control of the mouth The lights can be misleading You should turn around and go back the way you came as this is almost certainly a trap! or You should continue onward and investigate the situation for yourself, it could have something to eat Picking up the pace, you begin to hear familiar sounds; cracking, crunching and hissing ahead of you Now that you have confirmation of food you quicken your pace but stay on high alert Silence is key! submission Once you see rows and rows of cages your pace slows and you begin looking around Something about this doesn't seem right Once again you've walked right into a trap! There are three possiblilities here You have two new buttons to push; TRAP and RUN TRAP takes you straight into another choose your own path book, this one was made for teens so the options are limited, if you're good at following directions then you'll probably enjoy this one Step four: get away safely or get trapped forever? Once you're inside the room your attention is drawn to a brightly painted arrow on the floor Walking over to it, you stare down at it in puzzlement when a door concealing an armory opens up next to you Step Thirteen: Another test! A choice has been placed upon you that cannot be negotiated or debated upon These librarians are wily indeed get away safely or get trapped forever? Once outside the room with the ticking timer you suck in a huge lungful of air and then exhale slowly, that was close You could have easily just ran straight past it and even then it wouldn't have chased you for very long but now that you've chosen to go inside it a number of things change 1) the portal back to your camp is gone Nitzi can still take you where you need to go as soon as you get her untangled but if you leave her here she ; (and her bad attitude) will be gone for good Takes a while to get new support troops and even longer to build up friendships with them so it would be a real shame to lose such a vital team member in this way 2) The timer on the inside has stopped, as soon as you walk back out that door the 60 seconds will begin again Well that sucks Hopefully the hobs will find you before the 60 minutes are up otherwise you'll have some serious decisions to make! Remember friendships are temporary in the world of politics kid Nitzi seems to be gone but the quest must go on! Who's gonna play the next song? First decision: should you run back to the camp and try to get everyone off the plateau before the clock expires or push onward towards the castle? This decision needs to be made quickly! Time to decide whether you stay or go This was a real predicament that many Hobgoblins found themselves in just two months before After constant raids upon several of the King in Red's newly built outposts and villages, as well as an attempt to assassinate him which failed, the sovereign was ready to declare open war against the Confederacy of the Free City States At first the Council of House and Senate dismissed any potential threat but, after several missives arrived from the King in Red demanding answers for these crimes against him as well as payment for damages, it was decided that there should be boots on the ground within Redheld territory and a full investigation Several sword companies were hired but the one that was picked to lead this mission, The Excursionists, were prominent members of the Confederacy and friends with many in the council so they got the job They found various pieces of proof that the Redcourt Mercenaries had been ordered to commit the attacks by the King in Red in exchange for payment Enough evidence was found to incriminate them along with letters from their exiled leader Argyle which proved enough to convince most of the doubters on the council as well The three detachments arrived at the City of Red just in time for the Grand Alliance's assault upon it, each nabbing their respective feudal lords and holding them ransom As the city state falls to the Grand Alliance and all seem lost, you notice the three detachments leaving You are unsure whether or not to follow them but decide it is best to leave with them, as any of the victorious soldiers may recognize you and want to ask questions Though your actions here have saved many lives and stopped the annihilation of svelk lives, you cannot help but feel like there is more to be done There is Year 45 "Damned hobs get off my lands! " You hear a man in a farmhouse yell before firing a musket This displays the general attitude of the Redpromers towards you, an outsider Which suits you just fine since it gives you an excuse to kill them Or rather it would if you didn't still have other matters to attend to that came first Like convincing the others that will one day be the rulers of this place that hobs can be dealt with permanently, something your dark elven side knows all too well Though your duties to the Confederacy are supposed to come first You've been increasingly putting off votes and meetings to go on missions for the past few years ; (something everyone has noticed) It's just one of the things you wonder about when you're in the middle of fighting off an invasion, should you really be sticking your neck out and going against orders? Of course whenever you're stuck in one of these debates with yourself your mind is always brought back to the question that it always revolved around "Why are you even debating this Merk, YOU'LL always do what's right! " Says the voice in your head This is why You're brought out of your thoughts by the musketeer dying and three large hobs approaching, seeing as all his friends have already been killed he runs into his farmhouse and slams the door This leaves you in a dilemma, the hobs are likely to just mob into the house and kill everyone inside, which would defeat the objective of thinning out their ranks but you could try to get to him first and take him out, protecting the family he leaves behind Another option is what you're already doing, just tackling the hobs before they reach the house And of course there's always the option to just leave and not get involved Every option brings its own set of advantages and disadvantages but then that's sort of always been your life rabbits lay down for phoofls Cursing softly under your breath you run towards the hobs, as you get closer one lets out a high pitched yell to alert the others Pulling the dagger out of the throat of hob you were stabbing you ready yourself to run at the next You burst in through the door only to find a terrified civilian and dying soldier You're sort of confused for a moment since it looks like you're in a barracks rather than a house, till you remember this is a farmhouse that doubles as a military outpost Feeling confused, confused and curious at what you'll find you almost don't notice the hob thrashing at the end of the bed

[republicstandard]

Bulletproof Monk is a Nietzschean Critique of Western Civilization.

It should be obvious to all that handing over the reins of a multimillion-dollar action movie to a man whose experience extends as far as making Christina Aguilera videos is not going to produce great art. It's not even going to produce a decent Crouching Tiger rip-off. If you are looking for decent fight choreography you could do worse than just getting Iron Monkey from 1993 instead; Donny Yen is a bad ass in that movie. That movie, however, is not the unconscious (and self-conscious) product of a civilization searching for actualization. That movie is the 2003 suck-fest that is Bulletproof Monk.

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The McGuffin of the movie is a magic scroll, protected by Buddhist monks in Tibet, which when read aloud grants the reader the power to make the world anew; a heaven in the hands of a good (super) man, or a hell in the hands of the weak, evil or corrupt. The monks have a single warrior who is the guardian of The Scroll of Good and Evil, and this man is granted great powers. Straight off the bat, we are talking about faith in particularly Christian terms. All of a sudden, Nazis!

It is apparently the 1940s, and the Nazis are doing Red Skull style searches for esoteric power. The Nazis are led by a man who knows of The Scroll and the power it contains and wants to take it all for himself. In my Nietzschean reading, I believe that this is the Word of God, left unattended by God post-mortem.

"Because human beings would no longer have a god to turn to, to absolve them of their guilt; but they would still be racked by guilt, since guilt is an impulse instilled in children when they are very young, before the age of reason. As a result, people would loathe not only one another but themselves.”

From Will to Power, Preface, 2nd Paragraph

"What I relate is the history of the next two centuries. I describe what is coming, what can no longer come differently: the advent of nihilism... For some time now, our whole European culture has been moving as toward a catastrophe, with a tortured tension that is growing from decade to decade: restlessly, violently, headlong, like a river that wants to reach the end, that no longer reflects, that is afraid to reflect."

Nazis in this meta-analysis represent the only culture Westerners have left so many decades later: variously, misplaced faith in the state, faith in society, and faith in technology. They are effectively a meme version of the totalitarian ideologies of the 20th Century, we may as well consider them to be stand ins for Communism and rampant consumerism also. The first act of the Nazis in Bulletproof Monk is to murder the monks with MP-40s; literally, 'we' destroy the faithful with our technological creations. You can even read this as a metaphor for the New Atheists of the late 20th Century, we have so much insight from technology that we can convince ourselves that there is no need for faith at all, easily we can dispose of their simple arguments- represented here by the brother monks linking arms, their show of faith and togetherness against imminent destruction. Still, State and Science are not enough for the avatar of human intellect, the evil Nazi Strucker (Karel Roden).

All are insufficient to grant Strucker life eternal- only true faith can do that, and as we know, God is dead. That's why he seeks the magic scroll, which has the power of great good and evil- that's a faith analog. Strucker and the Nazis are modern Western society writ large throughout the film. And you thought this was a bad popcorn flick with Stiffler from American Pie in the lead. In any case, the eponymous Monk ( Yun-Fat Chow) briefly kicks some Nazis in the head before Strucker shoots him in the chest. The Monk falls from atop the mountain, clutching the Scroll. It's a deliberate dive, a leap of faith; the parallel to Jesus in the desert when he is tempted by Satan (Luke 4):

8And Jesus answered him, “It is written,

“‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.’”

9And he took him to Jerusalem and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, 10for it is written,

“‘He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you,’

11and

“‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”

12And Jesus answered him, “It is said, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” 13And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.

That probably means we have Stifler from American Pie as Jesus. Deal with it.

In the Joseph Campbell Hero's Journey reading, we have just witnessed a complete character arc- the Monk begins the movie as an apprentice, and by the end of the first scene has faced evil, taken the call to adventure, received supernatural aid and surpassed his mentor, and transformed in the abyss of death and rebirth. Quite a lot for an opening scene of a not-amazing film.

What I contend is happening is unintentional on the part of the moviemakers- either that or for reasons inexplicable, the director Paul Hunter managed in his sole feature film credit to construct a near perfect Nietzschean metaphor. There is also the likelihood I'm reading too much into pop-culture, but this is my column and I will do what I want; and if I want to tell you that trash Hollywood movies are warnings against nihilism and exhortations to a new cultural awakening, I will.

We then flash forward sixty years or so, to meet the true protagonist, Kar (Seann William Scott). Whereas the Nazis represent the Will to Power, the civilizational malaise caused by a lack of faith in a higher power, Kar is Western Civilization in modernity. He has no family, no history, and no interests other than himself. This is the elevation of consumer capitalism to the status of religion, expressed in his early scenes as Kar robs the Monk of the Scroll (unwittingly, of course) and then attempts to bargain it with the bizarre gang-leader Mr. Funktastic (Marcus Jean Pirae) in exchange for a peace treaty. Funktastic, a testosterone-driven Billy Idol clone who speaks only in cockney rhyming slang, attempts to literally castrate Kar for insulting him with a gift of faith that is condensed into the most powerful artifact on Earth. Freudian! Ignorance reigns on all sides, but in a fight -and with the assistance of a mysterious love interest- Kar manages to escape by using his martial arts skills. The Monk sees the fight and approves grudgingly.

Funktastic!

There's a lot going on in that scene, and none of it has to do with the layer of proto-philosophical schmaltz that has the routine fulfillment of prophecy trope playing out in the overt storyline. This is Nietzsche's “total eclipse of all values,” based on the rise of what Tom Wolfe described as “barbaric nationalistic brotherhoods.”  Nationalistic brotherhoods in the real world would be groups like ISIS, Boko Haram, rather than any sense of Nationalism as we understand it in the West today.  Funktastic and his crew are one such brotherhood who threatens Kar/The West; who just wants to be left alone to steal from others. One might consider this to be a jab at Westerners who culturally appropriate, or act in stereotypically Black or Asian manners -see Eminem or Weeaboos. Kar is definitely a Chinaboo.

Kar is raised by a Japanese Man (Mako) who looks after a Chinese cinema. The reason is never explained. My reading of this is that Westerners have become so ignorant of other cultures (and by extension, ourselves in relation to other cultures) that all cultures are thus interchangeable. I think that this is where the ideas of multiculturalism and to a certain extent the criticism of cultural oppropriation comes from.

Kar trains himself in martial arts by copying old kung-fu movies, in a montage. We now have 3 Eastern archetypes training the West in learning re-connection to our collective soul- even William Scott's character named himself "Kar" Cantonese for family, so he will never be without one. Adorable! All he knows is theft and looking out for himself, very much the antithesis of faith or enlightened behaviour. Even the love interest Jade (Jaime King) is a metaphor; the daughter of a gangster -Russian, of course!- who leads a double life. We might consider her to be, variously, all three Brothers Karamazov, as she is ignored by her father (jailed for being a mobster) and leads a double life. Like Dmitri Karamazov, she spends her nights courting attention -with Mr. Funktastic of all people- but is, in reality, spiritual, like Alyosha; and also a skeptic, like Ivan, when it comes to Kar at least. That's an interesting lens to view this movie through, too. Dostoyevsky had his own criticisms of civilization that appear to have been proven true.

And they both get into the Ethnostate! Yay!

Strucker and his grand-daughter ( Victoria Smurfit) show up to continue their pursuit of faith/Monk to transform themselves into supermen. Strucker is now very old, wizened by time. Their faith in the state to conquer and provide meaning has proven insufficient. These Nazis are so evil they even set up a highly leftist SocJus "Human Rights Organization" to hide their true motives. Another unintentional reveal of the underlying faith in society of the progressives/communists. This front company claims to denounce man's evil to man, but in fact, is hiding the worst evil of man; that we are faithless and self-serving. I found it quite cute in retrospect that we have literal Nazis propping up social justice causes here.

Meanwhile, Kar and the Monk become friends after a scene in which Kar tries to make the Monk leave his house by fighting him- and failing to do so, of course. The Monk is literally faith incarnate. Once that takes root in a civilization it seems hard to root it out.

An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a quiet conversation over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.  ~ The Monk

If Western Civilization were enlightened, it would understand that faith itself is not something to be fought against, but to be conversed with. I think that's what is going on there at least. In any event, Kar and the Monk go on a buddy-cop adventure in which, shock and horror, the Scroll is lost to the Nazis. Fortunately, it transpires that the Scroll is actually a recipe for noodle soup! That message is expanded on when the Monk talks pure Greek Philosophy while teaching Kar about fighting. Martial arts itself in this movie is a metaphor for internal struggle.

It's not about anger - it's about peace. It's not about power - it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy - it's about knowing yourself. ~The Monk, channeling the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.  nosce te ipsum.

Without going scene by scene I think you can catch the point I am trying to make. The Nazis are so evil they kidnap a bunch of Buddhist Monks to literally suck the spirituality out of their minds using some device involving rushing water, Strucker achieves part of his goal by reading the words of faith from the scroll which had been tattooed onto the Monk this whole time. He is resurrected and dons his Nazi uniform once again to proclaim his evil nature. In the Nietzschean reading, he is not the superman- he is what the Nazis believed Nietzsche meant by the superman.

You have to admire his commitment to Hugo Boss if nothing else.

The Monk, wise as ever, keeps part of the secret in his own mind. Strucker is incomplete, as he lacks the true humility of faith that the brotherhood of monks knew at the start of the movie- the literal Word of God cannot be wielded by man; any man. That understanding is faith in the creator, that understanding is what the Nazis and Communists failed to comprehend, leading to mass murder on a scale never seen before in history.

Air is as real as you and me. You have to step on it as if it were a stone, swim through it as if it were the sea. All you have to do is truly believe. -The Monk

And then Kar kicks the Nazi-Superman off a building with his righteous belief. Deus Vult!

If we affirm one single moment, we thus affirm not only ourselves but all existence. For nothing is self-sufficient, neither in us ourselves nor in things; and if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event—and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed.  — Nietzsche, Will to Power

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Alright, it's not a perfect analogy and I think the Nietzschean idea of the Superman does not come to fruition with Kar's ascension to protector of the scroll; in fact, Jade also ascends, to provide a true, living Tao element to the movie. What my reading thus concludes is that this story is one of Western Civilization rediscovering faith, through the rejection of the failures of the 20th Century; state worship, society worship, self-worship and ultimately the rejection of minority-worship and multiculturalism also.

Kar through his transformation into the Guardian of the Scroll defeats the Nazi Spectre- the very real threat of supremacy ideology- that is his negation, the opposite of the life force he represents throughout the whole film. He also is bound to his divine feminine counterpart "for life" through faith, essentially restoring conservative idealsof marriage and family- the same family that Kar felt he never had and so adopted the concept of family from Cantonese. Now dressed in superfly leathers, Kar and Jade wish the Monk a happy retirement; a symbolic passing of the torch so to speak, from the ancient spiritual philosophies of the East to the still relatively new and immature Christendom.

So, maybe I've read too much into a movie which is objectively trashy and it reveals more about me than anything else; but that was fun. I'd like to think that the Western culture that we inhabit is alive, more than just a few hundred million points of consciousness screaming into the void. If that is true, then the collective song of our people will throw out strangely prescient pop-culture that embeds hidden meanings, without the active intent of anyone involved. In all honesty it could only be in a truly nihilistic and lost culture that Bulletproof Monk could ever be made. This movie sucks, but I love it anyway.

As the Monk says, "Water which is too pure has no fish." There's probably zero meaning in that.

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