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runes-menagerie · 11 months

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Analysis of Ascendant Astarion Part 2

WARNING!! This post contains spoilers for Act 3 of Balder's Gate 3. Specifically for one of the possible endings of 'The Pale Elf' companion questline along with the entirety of the Astarion romance plotline since I do reference earlier romance cutscenes.

This analysis focuses on the dialogue trees available during the Ascendant Astarion romance scene that happens the next time you rest after completing the ritual. Given the difficulty of the fight against Cazador and his minions, in addition to the fight with the Gur Tribe as you leave, most players are likely to rest before going on to other quests. That is the timeline I'm assuming for the purposes of how long Astarion has had to process the events outlined in my previous analysis post.

I would also like to preface this by saying that I was not expecting the dialogue trees in this scene to be as complex as they are, Most videos you can find will only show you one or two possible paths but there are actually many possible paths and even a few loops that you could theoretically go around indefinitely.

That said it does all boil down to a very simply choice: continue the romance by letting his turn you or break up with him. I started this project thinking that there were very few ways to accomplish the first and many ways the second could happen. What I found when I actually mapped out the trees was the exact opposite. Discovering this changed my perceptions this scene and I hope that shows in my analysis.

One last thing I'd like to address before getting on with the analysis. While researching the character I found the predominate interpretation of Ascendant Astarion is that he's abusive, condescending and manipulative. While I can certainly see how this came about and I will be including it in my analysis. These two interpretations will largely be my focus but I am sure there are others. This is not any sort of end all be all analysis.

Now, without further ado. On to the analysis!

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(start of romance scene)

"I can't believe you let me do that. Killing all those people. A pleasant surprise."

-- As mentioned above I find it likely that this scene takes place within a few hours of the completion of the ritual. Long enough for the high of victory and Ascension to have worn off but not long enough for him to have fully settled into who he is now and go through all the implications of what he's done. This open dialogue indicates that he might be starting to now and is surprised you helped him. The pleasantly part comes in fact that he likely didn't think the player would go to such lengths for him.

(Possible player responses A1)

I wanted what was best for you.

I wasn't about to release seven thousand hungry vampire spawn into the world.

I don't feel great about it honestly.

I wanted a powerful ally, And now I have one.

-- I won't be saying much about the possible player responses since that isn't the focus of this analysis. I will just say to pay attention to the markers such as A1 and A2 since they show how the trees link together and were the best way I could think of to organize what is more like a web than a tree in this format.

A1 -- Prompt 1 -> A2 "You sweet, sweet thing. I want what's best for you too, of course. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- Note that many of the reactions to each set of prompts share dialogue so I will only be analyzing those once unless something about the rest of the prompt changes the interpretation of the common part.

-- This feels similar to his pre-Ascension dialogue in terms of the first few lines. The last two lines however show something is going on in his head. This is where I feel he could be seen as starting to come across as condescending since the use of the name 'pet' is new for him. On the other hand, he does given the player numerous pet names throughout the game and this could simply be a new one. Edit: I was informed that he does use the term pet prior to this as a Spawn as a dialogue option if you visit the brothel. "Sorry pet, I'm not quite comfortable doing this sort of thing just yet." --quote courtesy of @astriel-nya This fact makes me more inclined to think that it is simply a pet name rather than being indicative an abusive mindset.

-- Another thing to consider when interpreting this dialogue is the fact that he's asking what he can do for the player. If we look back at his romance scenes early on then this could be a call back to his "nice, simple plan" of trading his body and affection for the player's protection. If this is in fact a call back then it could indicate he's reverting to past "instinctive" behaviors while figuring out who he is now that he is finally free of Cazador. Not to mention any lingering side effects of the ritual that could be impacting his thinking.

A1 -- Prompt 2 -> A2 "Of course, whatever you need to tell yourself, darling. But make no mistake, I will forever remember what you did for me today. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- Here is another example of a line that could be condescending even with the use of the familiar pet name. He seems dismissive of the player's reasoning and attempts to moralize the choice to pay the price of the ritual.

-- Another take is that Astarion has always been rather morally dubious and this isn't the first time he's questioned the player's morality.

-- I find the second line more telling than the first since it seems to be another call back, this time to his lines after you let him feed from you the first time. These connections to the past seem to indicate that he hasn't completely forgotten who he was before the ritual.

A1 -- Prompt 3 -> A2 "Well, what's done is done. And there's simply no point in dwelling on the past, is there? No, you have given me a glorious new future. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- As with the last response, this one can also be interpreted as condescending and dismissive. Both of the player and of the past. It could be an indication that he no longer cares as much for the player's opinions and thoughts.

-- However, given just what Astarion's past has contained for the last 200 years, I find it difficult to blame him for wanting to focus on the future now that he can finally see one that isn't more of what he's suffered all those years.

A1 -- Prompt 4 -> A2 "Indeed you do. I am so very, very powerful - all thanks to you. And one wicked turn deserves another. So tell me what you desire. What can I do for my dearest pet?"

-- Given that this response is given to the most cold and calculated of the possible player prompts. It seems logical for him to respond in kind. Now this could be seen as his ego talking and it does fall in line with his speech patterns when talking about himself early game. But that is just the thing. At that point in the game, his goal was to make himself seem useful so you would keep him around. He could be doing the same here, reminding you of just how useful he is so you won't turn on him now that he's changed.

-- In this prompt I believe that common section more strongly supports the second interpretation rather than the first but that is simply my opinion.

(Possible player responses -- A2)

I want to be a vampire like you.

I want you. I want your body.

You can tell me that you've learned something from all this.

I am not your pet.

-- I will admit that when I first encountered this set of player responses, I greatly detested them. Now having mapped out all the dialogue trees, my hatred has lessened but I still don't entirely like the options given to player at this point in the dialogue tree.

-- Also note that this is the point where it becomes less dialogue tree and more dialogue web.

A2 -- Prompt 1 -> A3 "Oh my sweet, there are no vampires like me. And there never will be again. But if you want the gift of eternity, I can give you that. One more bite is all it would take. That's what you want, isn't it? To be mine? Forever?"

-- The first two lines are both a statement of fact since it has been stated in game that no one had ever attempted the Rite of Profane Ascension before Cazador, making Astation the first Vampire Ascendant. Given this fact and how long it took for someone to attempt the ritual it does seem rather unlikely there will ever be another but not impossible.

-- That said, it's also possible that his ego is talking here as well since he is the first to achieve such a thing and he is more powerful than he was, both lore wise and in game mechanics. However, the second line can be taken as more than a simple statement of fact. It could be interpreted as him stating an intention to prevent the ritual from being repeated, either to prevent competitors or to prevent 7000 more souls from being sacrificed again. It could also be an indication of his intent never to turn the player into a true vampire but to keep them a spawn, however since we have no way of knowing if the spawn of the Vampire Ascendant would also become a Vampire Ascendant, this may be a mote point.

-- As for the rest of his words this could either be taken as him trying to manipulate you into becoming his slave and putting yourself under his control. Or it could be him acknowledging the differences in your lifespans and being afraid to lose the player since even if the player is one of the Elf variants they wouldn't live even a fraction of his lifespan. As in most vampire romance stories, this could be seen as gesture of love rather than one intended to enslave.

A2 -- Prompt 2 -> A3 "You've earned it. But don't you want more -- don't you want eternity? One more bite is all it would take? That's what you want, isn't it? To be mine? Forever?"

-- This is in response to the option I dislike the most so I apologize if that influences my analysis. That said I do find it telling how he says that the player has 'earned' the ability to sleep with him. And then he quickly offers to turn the player.

-- I will be honest that I struggle to find an abusive interpretation for this one other than what was mentioned above with the offer to become a vampire being a manipulation tactic to control the player.

-- The interpretation I find more likely in this case is that the offer to turn the player is a distraction from the idea of sex. Which given that in order to get this far in the romance the player would have already agreed to hold off on sex until he was ready, seems plausible.

-- Note that there is another way to get this dialogue but again, it is the player requesting sex, not him offering or asking for it. Now it is possible that with the power boost he gets from Ascension that he feels safe enough to explore sex now since it's possible he could overpower the player or at least escape. It could also be another case of him reverting to his early game thinking. Giving his body so the player will accept being turned and not leave him. Or giving his body as a method of tricking the player into becoming his slave.

-- This also brings to mind the scene where he tells you he doesn't want sex, specifically that if you insist on it he will then break up with you after saying that he didn't know how to tell the player no. I wonder if something similar might be the case here, thus the distraction of offering to turn the player rather than saying no outright.

A2 -- Prompt 3 -> B1 "Truly? What was I supposed to learn from this?"

-- He does have a point here, until I read the possible player responses to this I wasn't fully sure what I would expect him to learn from recent events either. I feel his confusion and defensiveness is justified here.

A2 -- Prompt 4 -> C1 "Oh don't be such a humorless little wretch - It's nothing but a joke."

-- This reaction seems to support the interpretation of the 'pet' name not just being a new way to refer to the player but a test to see if the player would be open to submitting. One that he isn't happy the player rejected.

-- However he does only call you pet the one time in this entire scene regardless of if you call him on it or not. This could mean that he is more reacting to being called out than the fact that you don't accept the name. Or he could simply be deciding not to push his luck with you at this time since his primary goal seems to be getting the player to agree to become a vampire.

(Possible player responses from Prompt 3 -- B1)

I hoped you'd learn to love me.

Not to become Cazador yourself.

That sex and relationships aren't about power over someone else.

-- I thought that the 2nd and 3rd responses would be breakup routes when I was mapping this out and was rather surprised to find I was wrong. This is where my opinion on this scene began to change.

B1 -- bullet 1 -> B3 "Who's to say I don't? I'm willing to share all of this with you. What's that if not love? Of course if that's not enough - if you need something more - perhaps this isn't for you. So. What's it to be, darling? Is this it?"

-- Given Astarion's past, sharing power like this would be a significant gesture for him since he has had all power stripped from him before and had to claw his way up to where he is now. That said, it does indicate that he might be viewing relationships as transactions as he did near the start of the game. The next line both supports this idea and brings it into question depending on the interpretation. It could either be interpreted as a manipulation or as him genuinely asking if he's enough for the player.

-- Lastly he asks what the player wants rather than assuming the relationship is over. Once more this could be a show of caring in order to manipulate the player's emotions. Or it be him giving the player the choice he didn't have. Since let's not forget that he was turned against his will. His unwillingness to forcibly turn the player is rather telling I feel no matter how the rest of this words are interpreted.

B1 -- bullet 2 -> B2 "Don't you ever compare me to him! Never! How dare you stand there and judge me. As if you know the first thing. Your hands are as bloody as mine, darling. Why would you go along with any of this just to pretend you're innocent now?"

-- Even as pissed off at the player as he is here, this still leads to a prompt that gives the option to save the relationship. Given that Spawn Astarion doesn't react this way to mentions of Cazador I find this response rather interesting.

-- One possible interpretation is that Astarion secretly fears that he will become just like Cazador. That he will hurt those around him, especially the player. We've seen in the Love Test earlier in the game that he doesn't like his fears being brought to light which seems to support this interpretation.

-- Another interpretation is that he does actually plan to be like Cazador to some extent, either consciously or unconsciously, and he doesn't want you thinking about that otherwise you might walk away from him before he can make you his spawn.

-- The last few lines seem to be him once more questioning the player's morals while reminding you that he would have never been able to Ascend without someone's help. With this in mind his willingness to keep giving you chances to save the relationship might be an acknowledgement of this fact. He literally owes everything to the player and he knows it.

B1 -- bullet 3 -> B2 "Please, everything is about power. Sex, relationships, violence - They're all just different forms of control. And now you think you can stand there and tell me how to feel? Because - what? Because you care? Your hands are as bloody as mine, darling. Why would you go along with any of this just to pretend you're innocent now?"

-- This seems to support the theory that he's reverting back to his early game thinking in terms of how he views relationships. As stated in the believing, it isn't surprising that he would fall back onto familiar thought patterns while processing and adapting to his new power and freedom.

-- He could be lashing out because he's aware of this fact but he doesn't know how else to handle what's going on in his head. He could also be upset that the player is so easily seeing through his manipulation.

(possible player responses from bullets 2 and 3 above B2)

I wanted you to feel safe.

Because I cared! But maybe now I see how wrong I was!

I did it for you, you piece of shit.

-- Even though all of these responses gain his disapproval, none outright end the romance at this stage. Even the last two don't and I thought they would when I was making this.

B2 -- All prompts "It seems I misjudged you. I thought we might have a future together - even an eternity - But perhaps you're not worthy. So. What's it to be, darling? Is this it?"

-- This is very similar to how he responds to the first prompt in the response list before this one. (B1 -- bullet 1) He asks the player what they was want rather than making a demand or trying to focus it. As mentioned before there is a chance that Ascendant Astarion could overpower the player, especially if this does in fact take place right after the Cazador/Gur fight when everyone it hurt/tired except perhaps him, which would give him the best chance of doing so.

-- One interpretation is that even if his thinking has changed with Ascension, he's still unwilling to put the player through what he was when he was turned. It has to be the player's choice to become his spawn.

-- Another interpretation that is similar to the first but distinctly different is that he wants it to be the player's choice so that they are less likely to scheme against him as he did against Cazador. He doesn't want to create an enemy with the potential to actually harm him one day after all since from reading Vellioth's scroll we know that it is in fact possible for a spawn to kill their master without there being a Mindfalyer tadpole involved.

(Possible player response to all of the above B3)

I hope we can work things out and stay together.

I still care for you, but it can't be like this.

You're a hypocrite, and I don't want to be with you.

I don't want to look at you again. Get out of my camp.

-- Only bullet 1 will continue the romance so that response is the only one that will be analyzed in this post. The breakup responses will be analyzed in a later post.

B3 -- bullet 1 -> A4 "Of course we can. You're the one I want - the one that I love. And you could be so much more, if you want it. One little bite and you could be mine forever. My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

-- The fact that he is still willing to work things out with the player could be interpreted as him still hoping to manipulate and control the player. Or we could be seeing some of his genuine emotions beneath the act he's trying to put on as he falls back into his old thought patterns. This feels like something he would have said pre-Ascension which may indicate that he hasn't completely changed but it merely reverting back to old behaviors as stated before and this is him breaking from that due to thinking you might actually leave him.

-- The last set of lines are repeated a great deal in the A3 responses so I will analyze there since it feels like it makes more sense.

(Posssible player responses C1)

It doesn't feel like a joke. It feels like you mean it.

You haven't learned anything have you?

All right. But if your offer is still open, I want to be a vampire. Just like you.

Then stop joking around and let's sleep together.

-- This is part of the 'pet' comment branch, if that helps with navigation.

C1 -- Prompt 1 -> A3 "Life's a joke, dear, but now we're the ones laughing. But if you want the gift of eternity, I can give you that. One more bite is all it would take. That's what you want, isn't it? To be mine? Forever?"

-- This feels both like him backtracking but also makes me think of when he's trying to justify him drinking the blood of your enemies right after revealing what he is to the player early game. I think the reason for that is in both situations he trying to laugh off a rather serious matter.

-- That aside he does seem to be dismissing the player's feelings on the matter. And yet he doesn't use the word 'pet again'. Even during the sex scene when a perfect chance for it comes up.

-- This dialogue branch seems to be the one with the most support for the interpretation of Ascendant Astarion as abusive, condescending, and manipulative. I don't think it should be dismissed because of that but I do think it should be noted that it is only one possible dialogue branch and that is is possible to go through the scene without ever encountering any of these responses.

C1 -- Prompt 2 -> A2 Prompt 3

C1 -- Prompt 3 -> A2 Prompt 1

C1 -- Prompt 4 -> A2 Prompt 2

-- The fact that all other prompt responses lead back to the second set of choices feels rather significant to me as well. This could support the interpretation that there is a darker motive behind all of his dialogue in this scene. Or it could indicate that he's simply testing to see where the line is with the player now that he's changed so much. It's also possible that the ritual changed his thinking just as he states it has changed his blood in the post Ascension scene.

(Possible player responses A3)

Yes, that's all I want.

So what would I be? A vampire? Or your spawn?

What if I don't want forever?

I wanted a good time, that's all.

I wanted you to be free. It seems you never will be.

-- All the dialogue options above will eventually lead here unless a breakup option is chosen. Of these, only the last one will lead to a breakup option.

A3 -- Prompt 1 -> A5 "Then it's everything you shall receive. I will miss this warm flesh mind you. Shall we have one last night together before you join me in immortality? One for the road, so to speak."

-- Here he is the one offering sex, however this line can come after the player has asked for it or if the player I was going to analyze the implications of each but I found as I was writing it that there really isn't much of a difference other than whether or not he's actually interested in sex or merely doing it for the player's benefit.

-- This offer could be him resigning himself to going through with it as the price of getting to keep the player. He could also be ready for sex and the player just happened to ask for it before he could offer, if that route was taken. It could also be a manipulation, a way to sweeten the deal to ensure that the player goes through with the turning. It could also be exactly as he said, that he'll miss the player's warmth and wants to feel it one more time before it's gone forever.

-- To sum up. This could be a manipulation. It could be fondness for the player prompting him to spend one more night with you.

A3 -- Prompt 2 -> A4 "You wouldn't be just some spawn -- you're far more than that to me. My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

-- This is in response to a very valid question from the player. The answer is rather poetic, as many of his early game words are when he's trying to seduce the play.

-- With that thought in mind he could be trying to manipulate and seduce the player into giving in to him and becoming his spawn so he has complete power over you.

-- He could also be honestly trying to reassure the player that even as his spawn, he won't abuse you but will treat you as a partner. Not quite an equal perhaps but not a victim either.

A3 -- Prompt 3 -> A4 "What's not to want? We could be together for all time. My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

-- Given his own lack of choice in becoming a vampire and just how many people in the game seem to be seeking ways to extend their own lifespans, it's really not a surprise why he would question why you don't want to live longer.

-- He could also be questioning if he's not enough for you even now that he's become the Vampire Ascendant. At the same time this could be another attempt at manipulation.

A3 -- Prompt 4 -> A3 "What do you mean? Think of the things I can offer you! You're not going to say no to that, surely?

-- I was surprised this one didn't lead straight to a breakup but it doesn't. Which I feel reinforces the interpretation that regardless of his reasoning, he does want to keep you in his life.

-- But to explore that reasoning, one way this response can be interpreted is him asking if he is not enough for you. If everything he has to offer you now and everything he is, isn't enough.

-- In the same vein, he could be asking if you're really going to turn down all the power that he strove so hard to get. This would explain why he seems so offended by the idea that you would turn him down.

A3 -- Prompt 5 -> B2 All prompts (minus 1 aka breakup route)

-- This is a break up route and as such will be analyzed in another post. But I do think it's significant that it took this long to get to another break up route in comparison to how many ways there are to continue the romance.

(possible player responses A4)

Yes, that's all I want.

Spawn? I want to be a true vampire.

A beloved slave is still a slave.

After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

-- No really anything to say about this set of prompts other than that Astarion is surprisingly patient considering all the questions you could be asking him. Granted they are rather reasonable and understandable questions given the situation.

A4 -- Prompt 1 -> A3 Prompt 1

A4 -- Prompt 2 -> A3 Prompt 2

-- Unsurprisingly these two link back up to other parts of the dialogue tree.

A4 -- Prompt 3 -> D1 "Oh don't be like that, I'd never want to control you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want. We could be together for eternity, ruling this world side by side. We could have it all."

-- The first part of this is pretty straight forwards, he's either lying or he's not. On one hand he knows what's like to be a spawn, to be controlled, to have his body obey against his will. It seems unlikely he would inflict that on someone he cares about and the fact is that within the game he doesn't actually try unless you count him forbidding you from dying at one point. On the other hand, if his feeling for the player have changed then he might be lying and simply had no need to control you during the gameplay. Or he was subtle enough about it that you don't notice it.

-- As for his confession of love, the phrasing of it is closer to that of his first confession when he's telling you all his favorite lines. This could be interpreted as a sign his feelings for the player have changed. It could also be interpreted as him being more theatrical about it simply because, as stated previously, he's defaulted back to familiar speech patterns.

-- Once more he's making an offer to the player, to get them to agree to be his spawn. These continued offers could be him trying to sweeten or remind you of the deal being offered in order to tempt you into giving in to him. Or they could be him expressing his hopes. He hopes for a future with you, for an eternity of you by his side.

-- The ruling comment is a potential red flag but given that he has made comments like that the entire game I don't feel it's out of character or sign that his thinking has changed. He doesn't voice any particular plans for it in this scene however.

A4 -- Prompt 4 -> D1 "Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want. We could be together for eternity, ruling this world side by side. We could have it all."

-- This one is very similar to the previous one and can be interpreted with the same thought processes in my opinion. That said, I do find the difference in wording between the two rather interesting. In the previous one he claims he doesn't want to control you and in this one that he doesn't want to hurt you. This difference is rather curious.

-- It could be that he doesn't think of controlling the player as hurting you as long as he doesn't actually give you a command that would hurt you or cause you to get hurt. Or the opposite could be true and he does think controlling the player would hurt you. Either interpretation has interesting connotations as does this difference in phrasing.

(Possible player responses D1)

That does sound appealing...

Sounds like you'd have it all.

No, this isn't what I want.

-- Another chance to break up here. As with the others, the player has to voice a direct refusal for him to accept it. On one hand that could be seen as a red flag and him not taking no for an answer. On the other hand, with the more ambiguous responses he doesn't assume consent or refusal but asks for clarification of the player's desires. How he reacts to being rejected with be covered in another post as stated previously but I think it's significant to note that he didn't forcibly turn the player upon rejection.

D1 -- bullet 1 -> A5 "I knew you'd come around. Shall we have one last night together before you join me in immortality? One for the road, so to speak."

-- The second part of this has been covered already. As for the first part. This could be interpreted as being rather condescending with him being confident that he could manipulate you into giving into him. It could also be interpreted as him simply knowing the player well and being confident that if he was patient and laid everything out that you would agree to stay with him. It could also be a false show of confidence, a show he often puts on throughout the game with his vulnerable side only coming out sometimes.

D1 -- bullet 2 -> D1 "I already have everything. Except you by my side. Are you ready to join me? To accept this immortal gift?"

-- He's not wrong here. He has everything he's stated he wanted from the beginning. Cazador is dead and Astarion has the power to theoretically do whatever he wants to. The fact that he doesn't assume he has you, that he's doing all this to get your consent when he could theoretically force you feels significant. As does the fact that he wants you by his side, rather than going his own way as he likely intended before his 'nice, simple plan fell apart.'

D1 -- bullet 3 -> B2 All prompts (minus 1 aka breakup route)

-- A clear break up route unsurprisingly.

(possible player responses A5)

Please, yes.

We shall not. I just need you to bite me.

Huh. I forgot I'd be cold to the touch once I changed...

-- No breakup option at this point but that's not terribly surprising.

A5 -- Prompt 1 -> Sex scene "Then come with me, my love, and live your final night."

-- This leads directly to the sex scene you can get from this interaction, which has it's own analysis. As for this response, he's gotten what he wants. Your consent. But even so he's willing to draw out turning you by having sex first either as part of the deal or because he wants to be with you one last time while you're still technically alive.

A5 -- Prompt 2 -> Post sex scene "Impatient are we? Well who am I to deny you?

-- As expected, this skips the sex scene and goes straight to the turning scene. He doesn't fight this which could mean he wasn't ready and or interested in sex. Or it could mean that he's placing the player's wishes ahead of his own.

A5 -- Prompt 3 -> E1 "Not having second thoughts, are we?"

-- Once more checking for consent from the player when you voice would could be seen as doubts. Whether he's being manipulative or honest during this entire conversation tree, your consent clearly matters to him when it comes to being turned.

(Possible player responses E1)

No, let's do this.

I don't want this after all.

-- A final check for consent. You can either give it or break up with him.

E1 -- bullet 1 -> A5 Prompt 1

E1 -- bullet 2 -> B2 All prompts (minus 1 aka breakup route)

-- Nothing new to say here.

(sex scene)

-- I'm not going to recap the sex scene here. There are plenty of videos of it out there. That said, I do find the parallels between this sex scene and the first one you get with him rather interesting. In both scenes the focus seems to be on the player, this more clear in this scene since it is longer but even in the first one he talks about what the player wants and only vaguely about his own desires. Now this could be do to his history with seducing for Cazador. But I find it interesting that the same is true of this scene.

-- This could be because he's acting on instinct as stated previously. He could also be trying to make the player's last night alive particularly good. It's also possible given his history that he doesn't remember how to take pleasure for himself and so it just doing what he knows. It could also be about control, in this case controlling how much pleasure the player feels during this scene.

(Post sex scene)

"On your knees, darling."

-- Here we have another example of a response that could be read as condescending and abusive. Another interpretation of it is the ritual of it. We're not told very much about vampire culture by the game even we find documents that talk about various rituals. It's possible that there's a significance here we're ignorant of. It's also possible he's testing to see if you'll obey him if he asks for something like when you aren't forced to obey him.

(Possible player responses A6)

Kneel.

(Wis check) Explore his mind - see what he really thinks about you.

No.

Kick him in the balls.

-- The last one is obviously a break up prompt but the third one isn't.

A6 -- Prompt 1 -> A7 "Tonight, I shall drink every drop of your blood. Own your body, kill your mind. It will only hurt a bit, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain."

-- Technically these are statements of fact. He has to drain you to turn you. It's also true that he will own your body once the player is his spawn since if he did give a command then your body would follow it whether you wanted to or not. Technically your mind would die when he drains you since you would be dead then undead.

-- As for the pleasure being greater than the pain. This could be a lie to comfort or manipulate the player into not fighting him at this point. He could also be telling the truth, he only gives a brief description of how he was turned so we don't know how it actually feels. Edit: I couldn't accurately remember how he described being turned but @astriel-nya once more provided me with a quote. "I remember how it hurt when I turned to a vampire. My body writhed and warped while I was utterly helpless, the grip of death owned my heart as it beat its last." This could support either side but given the narration of the turning scene and that of the first time he bites the player, I find it likely that he at least hopes that his words will be true for the player.

A6 -- Prompt 2 ->A6 Successful check *He will always see you as degrading yourself if you continue to be with him. But perhaps you wish to degrade yourself. And he knows it.* Failed check "Bad boy/girl." or "Tut tut. Very bad."

-- It's very easy to interpret the successful check dialogue as confirmation that Astarion has become or will become abusive towards the player. Just as easy is a more kinky interpretation since it would not at all surprise me if he were interested in such games as long as he wasn't the one being degraded.

-- There is another interpretation however. Rather than degrading as in being put down, the player is lowering themselves by staying with Astarion when they could do better. With him knowing you want this even though there are others who are more worthy of you.

-- For the failed check, I can't entirely blame him for scolding you for trying to read his mind without permission. That said the phrasing is rather condescending and while he doesn't use 'pet' the words do have similar connotations. On the other hand he could simply be being playful and reassuring you that he isn't mad you trying to read his mind.

A6 -- Prompt 3 -> F1 "Yes."

-- Here he rejects the player setting a boundary by refusing to kneel. This could be interpreted as a red flag for certain. This is also one of the few times he doesn't go along with the player's wishes which implies there's something significant about you agreeing to kneel. Despite his words he doesn't force the player to kneel, indicating he does still care about consent.

A6 -- Prompt 4 -> Breakup route + leaves party "Argh! How DARE you! To hells with you, I'm done. I hope you rot."

-- Not terribly surprising that kicking him leads to a break up. I was rather shocked that he left the party however since he doesn't with the other break up options unless you actually kick him out. I can't exactly blame him however.

(Possible player responses F1)

No.

Give in and kneel.

F1 -- bullet 1 -> Breakup route "You're missing the chance of a lifetime. You'll never have another like me. I won't take me until the end of time to find another like you."

-- The fact that he breaks up with you if you continue to refuse to kneel supports the idea that there is something significant about you consenting to kneel before he turns you. It could simply be his own desires and ego. Or it could be something required for the process. it could also be him needing to be in a position of certain control since it wouldn't surprise me if turning the player is mildly triggering for him given his own experience being turned.

F1 -- bullet 2 -> A6 prompt 1

-- Nothing new to add here since kneeling is required to continue the scene.

(Possible player responses A7)

Be gentle... if you can.

Oh come on. Let it hurt.

Both lead to "You have given me everything. Thank you."

-- Whichever option you choose he obeys. If you ask for gentle then he gives you kisses and treats you gently. If you ask for it to hurt then he grabs your neck and is rough with you. The fact that he does listen can be interpreted as him caring about your wishes to some extent or at least he wants you to think he still does.

(turning scene)

-- Again, not giving the play by play since there are plenty of videos.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Final analysis

Having gone through this entire thing I found that there was evidence within the dialogue to support the abusive interpretations of Ascendant Astarion and I found evidence to support a non-abusive interpretation. I believe both are equally valid, especially given the fact that this event happens so close to the end game, even if done as soon as possible, so we don't really get to see more than a few scenes to show us who he becomes post Ascension.

I do feel that the fact that the player has to explicitly tell him 'no' to end the romance and that he asks for a clear yes or no in response to all of the more ambiguous prompts to be rather significant. It doesn't easily fit with an abusive interpretation and yet it's also something that many players won't realize unless they go through all the dialogue options with save scumming as I did. Especially since when I was making this post I couldn't find any videos that actually went through all the possible dialogue trees. I found some that got most of them but no complete ones and none that really conveyed how complex the dialogue trees are.

I feel that this is part of why the abusive interpretation is so prevalent. It's the one that comes across the most easily on a casual playthrough. Diving deep into the dialogue however reveals that it isn't the only possible interpretation since aside from a few obvious red flags most of it is more ambiguous.

And so, to sum up my non-abusive interpretation. I believe that after the trauma of dealing not only with being in Cazador's palace - a place that is no doubt triggering for him - then being trapped in the ritual not knowing if he would make it, then fighting Cazador, and finally Ascending, that he would largely be running on instinct once the high of victory and Ascending as worn off. We see evidence for this in how worn out he is if you choose not to Ascend him since it's reasonable to assume that Ascendant Astarion would be just as tired once the high wears off. In this more instinctive mindset he seeks to secure the player's loyalty just as he did in the early stages of the game. To that end he makes the offer to turn the player and will even agree to sex if the player asks and offer it if they don't. He wants the player by his side so he's patient with all the questions the player might ask and checks to make sure he's understanding the player's wishes if something is too ambiguous. If the time comes for sex then his focus is on the player, both because it's what his instincts are telling him and because he wants this last night to be enjoyable for the player. Finally when it comes time to turn the player he makes his only demand, that they kneel. There could be ritual reasons for this, or he could simply need to be in a position of clear control to keep the memories of his own turning at bay. Regardless of reason, this is important to him.

Final thoughts.

While I do find the abusive interpretation Ascendant Astarion interesting, I personally find the non-abusive interpretation more intriguing from a role-play and psychology standpoint. That said, I'm sure there are other interpretations out there that are just as valid. This is simply my personal take on things.

If I missed anything or if you want to talk about any part of this then be sure to let me know. Hate will be laughed at but I'd love to have a discussion about all of this and hear other veiwpoints.

#ooc #astarion muse #bg3 spoilers #headcanon #character analysis #ascendant astarion #astarion headcanon

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mothuary · 2 years

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Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance

Ok! so this review is for the first game that I actually started and finished in the new year. Yay! When I stumbled upon the last game I wrote a review for, I had actually been looking for this one:

Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance was one of the first video games I’d ever touched in my life. I didn’t even learn it was a spinoff until I’d accidentally bought the mainline game two years ago and was supremely confused. Needless to say, I was really excited to see if this held up to my expectations. Now, this game is part of a kind of set of very similar games that were released by snowblind studios all around the same time, so BG:DA2, as well as the two similar games that take place in the Everquest universe, the first and second Champions of Norrath games. But this one is all D&D 3e babyyyy. Now Im not going to spend this review sucking up to WotC obviously, but it is very charming to re-play a game and see all the references I had been missing as a kid. I thought beholders were as well-known as dragons, lol.

Now I know that the game has been, in recent years, re-released, so lets talk about what I like about it and see if it’s a worthy way to go on a little early 2000s fantasy nostalgia trip.

First lets talk about your characters. You get a quite limited selection of three characters with pre-selected names and classes. You can also unlock Drizzt Do’Urden in the character select screen but i didnt know so I played as the elf Adrianna, and my 2P played as... human archer. whose name I forget. each of them has the stats and abilities you would expect, ie. the sorcerer starts with high int and low str, and can cast magic missile. Part of the great fun of the game is finding new weapons and armor to upgrade your character with, but seeing as the game is locked to the basic loot tables in D&D 3e, the loot is a lot more boring than I remembered. You’ll mostly get a couple of weapons worth clinging to over the course of the game, and sell everything else. But hey! at least the woman armor looks respectable. (image source cause its from someones letsplay but mega spoilers in there!)

Before I get started rambling about the gameplay, you might be interested to know that the music is done by the infamous jeremy soule so if you want some very morrowind-esque vibes, you can always give it a listen: ( x | x | x )

Okay so gameplay stuff. The game is set up in a bunch of dungeons where you look down from above and you go from “room” to “room” (they arent all literal rooms) and you clear out all of the enemies. Its quite cute, it does remind me of a miniature in a model set. Enemies dont respawn, so there IS a limited quantity of experience in the game. You can load characters from past playthroughs if you want to start out beefier, and this is recommended if you want to play the harder difficulties. Its also important to keep that in mind when youre playing with more than one person, because if youre always getting the kills, your player 2 will fall behind quickly.

The game has some kind of clunky controls, I really hate how difficult it is to switch spells (you have to use the D-Pad and they give you like forty empty spell slots lol). This issue is especially bad compared to the way that champions of norrath handles it (basically offers you hotkeys, its way better). We also found that the archery was a lot less.... fun than just melee bonking bc there are really limited projectiles. by which I mean its just arrows. plain ol arrows. Also there arent any rings around the feet of your character to help differentiate P1 from P2 so i kept walking into walls. Its not helped by the fact that the gameplay is v simplistic hack n slashy so your eyes kind of glaze over sometimes.

Another thing of note, which I never really noticed as a kid, is how front-loaded the game is. In the beginning of the game, youre completing a questline attached to the Elfsong tavern, and every once in a while, when you stop at the tavern to buy new weapons, someone will show up to give you a new quest. The quests were always part of the linear plot, so they didnt change the shape of the game at all, but they made the world feel more interesting. By the time you step into the second chapter of the game, the world begins to feel more flat and less and less named npcs pop up to chat with you. It ends up making the game feel really lonely. The NPCs that DO exist are animated quite well for a 2001 game, though, and I was really struck by their individually moving fingers which really helped them feel very emotive, which was underlined by the way that NPCs take up the whole screen when you talk with them.

having a sexy bartender in the first five minutes of your game helps keep the audience engaged.

Its a quite short adventure, it took my partner and I about a week to play all the way through and honestly? By the end I was mostly just kind of excited that I can move on to the second game now and see how much better it is. I think that the game is OK, but should you pay $30 new for it? NO. you can get ps2 copies used for $10. and if youre interested in playing BOTH of the games (and/or the champions games as well) i’d just.... buy a ps2. This game is very imperfect and leaves a lot to be desired. I would not recommend it to everyone, but I would recommend it to anyone craving a classic campaign but doesnt have a party. It does scratch the D&D itch but its not the best of it’s kind. That being said, if your time is limited, I’d say that most people would prefer the Champion’s games to this one.

#Baldurs Gate #Baldur's Gate #Dark Alliance #Game review #ps2 #video games #moth reviews #moth speaks #forgotten realms

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rvnwtch · 2 years

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So I want to start this off by saying, ESO is my FAVORITE game. I literally have not invested as much time, effort and money (literal hundreds) into a game as much as this one. I’m also aware that my expectations are my own responsibility. Not to mention, things go on behind the scenes all the time that we don’t know about. Like maybe voice actors weren’t available or were sick or something… and that I completely understand.

But with all of that being said, I have some thoughts. (And want to hear from you guys too!!! And I’ll TOTALLY untag this if the post upsets anyone I just wanted to hear what other people are thinking too?)

Personally, I feel a little bit let down. This is my favorite chapter of the game and I love the story very much.

Adusa and the mad scientist vampire lab furniture set being added during the event were a fine idea, why not? But a lot of people got Adusa from the crown store last year in October. So what’s new for those people? What’s new for the returning audience?

This is not a big Ravenwatch centric post (not the point at all here!) but Fennorian was a part of the main story line and we didn’t get any new dialogue from him? (Even after getting a mention about him from Gwendis during the Zeal of Zenithar event just a few months ago?) And nothing from Svana, or Lyris either? Hell, nothing from even Maugh or Mjolen?

Not to mention the Impresario feels very… empty? All she has is the fragment stuff from the year long event (very fair to include those!), the companion upgrades, group healing kit, and a clothing motif set that (from the top of my head) I don’t even recognize? I mean I figured we would get something Greymoor related that we would recognize or be excited for? Maybe some kind of Ravenwatch memento or vampire memento or a bat pet or something?

And as for the event prologue quest I personally didn’t remember Mel. (Very happy for any Mel fans though!) I thought we were going to get something with Svana or someone in it? But you can’t even play the quest more than just once? I thought it was going to be a daily thing, so I was at least looking forward to that. But you can’t. It’s a one and done kind of deal.

I also don’t think we get any kind of XP boost or extra gold for completing quests in Western Skyrim. But I was waiting for that too? I started replaying the main quest on a new character and I’m pretty sure there was no incentive to replay the questline or for NEW players to pick it up?

So I’m just kind of wondering what the point of the event is, if there’s NOTHING new? No little easter eggs, or new dialogue or anything? And like, I’m aware that this all sounds kind of spoiled and bratty but I’m not mad. Just kind of sad because… what’s the point? Why do I want to play it? That sounds rough but when you’re writing a paper for class, professors ask you those same very basic questions. Who is your audience? Who are you trying to get to participate? and what’s the big WHY? For this, the audience (target or not) is going to be a LOT of people who have played through Greymoor before. It’s people who have most, if not all, of the dungeons and world bosses and delves completed. What’s NEW for all of us? We hear the Dark Heart of Skyrim event and we don’t think of JUST dailies (that we’ve probably already played through) and a pretty empty Impresario list. I’ve been excited for this event ever since it was first announced.

I’m also afraid that ESO might be using this to test audience interest in the zone/storyline. Like what if they wanted to see if we’re still invested in these characters and this area before starting/releasing something new including all of it? I definitely see participation falling off as the event comes to a close. Already fewer people are playing it than the first two days. At least when I was online anyway.

This just had the potential to be so cool and instead I feel kind of let down. And like I said, my expectations are my own responsibility, but… yeahh??

Sorry for ranting on main… I just don’t really get it and wondered if anyone else kind of felt that way?

#eso #dark heart of skyrim event #dark heart of skyrim #greymoor

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amberlightgdj · 2 years

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RPG Journals kinda suck.

This is a bit of an exaggeration. I really like a lot of RPG journals, especially ones with neat art and a good distribution of tabs. My big problem, though, is that I find them really useless. The reason I say this is because for me a journal in an RPG serves two purposes: 1) Cataloging information I’ve gathered for later 2) Reminding me what was happening last I played It’s in this second point that I feel like a lot of RGP journals suck. Now, admittedly, it’s not exactly something easy to do, and many try in a variety of ways. One really popular one is simply tracking your quests. Are they in progress, complete, not yet started? What happened in them? Who said what? ect. These things are all supplied to various degrees depending on the game when it comes to quests, but I still feel like this doesn’t do enough. The big issues in my opinion that is core to the way Journals are designed, is that they generally are designed from the perspective of using them in a single play session. These journals assume that you know what you are doing, or at the very least are looking for something to do or some piece of information important to what is happening. It misses, though, an effective way for you the player to understand what you were doing last. This is sort of touching base in the concept of exit/entry points in game design. The basics of it is essentially that when designing a game you want to keep in mind that the average player will only have so much time to invest in a single play session. So, you design your game with a set expected minimum session time based on what you think your game should have. You then place intentional rest points, save spots, places to log out, ect. in places that best fit this projected play session. A specific example is with a game like mario brothers. The beginning and end of every level is an exit/entry point. You start a level and upon doing so are given all the information you could need for playing that level, you play it, and presumably you finish it. Once finished, you have no obligation to stay, it’s a natural point to put down the controller and do something else. This concept in RPGs exists, in MMOs you have rested areas which encourage you to travel there at the end of a play session which by doing so can set up an easier entry point because you are logging into that neutral area which you can start quests from. The issue is that in heavily narrative RPGs, the story itself doesn’t always have these entry/exit points. Nor the questlines or the grinds for resources. Take Pokemon for example. In Pokemon you have a single vague story that is basically holding your hand and exploring the game in a linear fasion with you. You go from gym leader to gym leader, you collect your favored pokemon, you train them, you seek out objectives and so on. The issue is when are you supposed to stop playing? For most people pokemon isn’t finishable in a single play session, so they have to put the game down sometimes. But when should they do that? Between battles? At the beginning and end of routes? After gym leader fights? Many of those work, but consider what you are -doing- at any given time? Unlike in MMOs you aren’t chasing down little 15 minute quests. You are being told to go into an entire zone and fight through it to get to someone. Unlike in Mario Brothers, you aren’t finishing a quick 10 minute level, you’re in an open (ish) world with random encounters and rare pokemon. You aren’t always chasing a gym leader or wrapping up the next zone, either. What about leveling up your pokemon? Grinding for resources? Trying to catch that super rare pokemon? You the player can chose to put down the game at any time, of course. It’s important to note that this concept doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to put the game down. It means that it doesn’t feel natural to put it down and take a break, and it can be confusing or disorienting to pick it up again if your mind has been elsewhere for a bit. So how does this apply to Journals? Well I think journals in RPGs, especially ones that focus on exploration and story, should be designed in such a way to also help with this return point. There are two ways imo to do this: 1) An activity log which documents sort of in character the last x number of important Things you have done. Ideally you or the game would pin the most important ones like narrative developments in a more permeant place in your journal as well. 2) Allow the player to actively customize/write in their journal. (This fits better into PC games than console games, but is still doable there in the form of stamps/stickers/highlighting) So that the player is given the tools and the space to take notes for themselves and leave notes for themselves. this second one to some people can feel strange, why do this when players can just use their own journal or note pad or word document at that point? In my opinion it’s good for immersion to be able to have that in character writing, but it also is useful for convenience. Having to keep track of an in person journal and make sure you have it on you whenever playing is not something everyone wants to do, and having something as simple as a small library of stamps that players can place anywhere in their journal, be it in their inventory, or their quest log, or their map, or their bestiary, this would allow players to in a low effort way leave their own notes about what they want and are doing. Despite the amount of justification I needed to do for item 2, I think item 2 is actually the easiest for designers to include in a game. item 1 is really the hard part, because you have to decide at what level of detail should the game document what’s happening. How is it documented? just in a statement of fact? you fought and killed x hogs? Maybe it should be written in character; “I just had a near death encounter with Two Giant Hogs. I was barely able to kill one with my Spear and the other had to be burned alive with my Fire Magic. I didn’t walk away unscathed, but I at least found a [Gold ring] in one’s stomach.” But in character is a lot harder to do on the implementation side. You have to write all those potential phrases, make sure they mix and match to each possible situation, bug test it, and so on. It requires quite a bit of implementation and design work to get done. What is best, though, depends on the game and on the dev team. A short game may not care as much about the details and focus on the big sweeping things like quest completion. Maybe a large and exploratory game would have multiple different log tabs for collectables vs fights vs dungeons. Crafting could also throw a wrench into the mix. There is no one size fits all solution, but to be honest I do think the overall problem should be considered as a place to improve in the eyes of devs. That being said, thanks for reading.

#RPGs #Game Systems #Journals #Quest Journals #Thoughts #Game Design

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five-rivers · 3 years

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Long Night in the Valley Chapter 13

The car didn’t seem more crowded, but it was. Spinner had the dubious honor and privilege of being in one of Mr. Compress’s marbles, along with the doctor. Midoriya Inko sat in his recently vacated seat.

She was, without a single doubt, the most dangerous person in the vehicle. Mostly because she was completely insane. She had spent the first few minutes of driving detailing how she could blow up the car with her quirk and making sure that they knew she’d do it if she thought she had to.

What would make her think she ‘had to’ was a mystery Tomura didn’t particularly want solved.

He could totally see what Sensei saw in her, and he didn’t like it. He wished he could go back to ignorance. This questline was insane. The whole game was going to wind up broken. Had he killed an essential NPC at some point?

Eyeballs were small objects. So were most organs.

Midoriya Inko was someone Tomura could respect.

Would Midoriya Izuku be like this, if Tomura had an actual conversation with him? Their conversation at the mall hadn’t exactly been… normal. Tomura could admit he’d been using his intimidation skill to move the conversation along. Of course, Midoriya had struck him as a two-dimensional All Might fanboy at that point. Limited dialogue options. Killed in the next encounter. A hidden miniboss, yes, but just a miniboss. Not terribly important to the main campaign. Forgotten by disc two.

Clearly, he’d been wrong.

Which he shouldn’t have had mixed feelings about, but definitely did.

“Dear,” said Midoriya Inko, making everyone in the car stiffen, “do you have eczema?”

“The what?” asked Tomura, his tone too subdued to be considered snapping, because he wasn’t about to snap at someone who had convincingly demonstrated her ability to crush his organs against the inside of his abdominal cavity.

“Oh!” said Toga. “I know this one, Mom! It’s a skin condition.”

Tomura pulled his hand away from where it had been scratching at his neck. “I don’t have a skin condition. It just itches sometimes.”

Midoriya Inko nodded. “Yes, that sounds like eczema, I—” She stopped, blinking. “Did you just call me ‘Mom?’”

“Yeah, is that okay? Izu-kun and I are dating, after all!”

“No, she isn’t!” shouted Twice, the car swerving a little. “She is not! Only in her dreams!”

“Ah,” said Midoriya Inko. “I see. Well, I don’t mind you calling me that, but I think you really need to ask Izuku before you say that you’re dating. Make sure you’re on the same page, dear.”

Toga pouted.

“Now, where was I? Eczema. Izuku used to have eczema, but he grew out of it, mostly. I still carry some cream with me. Do you want some?”

Would refusing be dangerous?

Was the cream secretly poison?

Was this a complex scheme to get under his skin?

“Oh, Izuku mutters like that, too,” said Midoriya Inko, happily. “You remind me quite a bit of when he was going through his antisocial phase, actually. It would be funny if it turned out that you were related, wouldn’t it? Quite a coincidence, hm? One I’ll have to talk to my husband about.” The last sentence was as hard as diamonds and as poisonous as cyanide.

Tomura once again decided that he regretted everything.

“This is terrible,” whispered Tsuyu for the fifth or sixth time.

“Tres mal,” agreed Aoyama.

“Is it bad that I can completely believe All Might wrote this?” asked Satou.

“Why would it be bad?” asked Shouji.

“Because it’s so… bad.”

“And yet,” said Yaoyorozu, “oddly compelling.”

“Why does he use so much English?” grumbled Mineta.

“What a mad banquet of darkness,” said Fumikage, who was, nevertheless, also reading the fanfic on his phone.

“But, like, it makes it pretty obvious that All Might thinks the world of Midoriya,” said Kaminari. “Do you think he knew that other people could read this?”

“I mean,” said Jiro. “He had to, right? It wasn’t like he was born in the nineteen hundreds.”

“I don’t know, sometimes you’ve got to wonder. Like… sometimes it’s as if he was grown in a lab to be the perfect hero, you know?”

“Kaminari, stop trying to be Todoroki, please,” said Fumikage. “You do not need to dip yourself into the darkness.”

“I’m just saying,” said Kaminari. “And it isn’t as if we don’t know that there are a bunch of mad scientist types that would do just that, plus the Hero Commission is psychotic—”

“That’s unkind to psychotic people,” said Fumikage, glowering. “You know, most psychotic people never hurt anyone. The incidence of villainy among people who experience psychosis isn’t significantly higher than among the general population.”

“Sorry, man, just a figure of speech.”

The bus slowly came to a stop outside UA’s gates.

“My switch isn’t working,” said Green Light as he repeatedly pressed a button on his dash. “I guess they’re still on lockdown. We’ll have to wait for Nezu to come let us in.”

“Still?” asked Midnight. “Midoriya isn’t even in the city anymore, as far as we know.”

“Not that he was ever a threat to the school,” mumbled Present Mic, his quirk making him loud enough to be heard regardless.

Fumikage, having finished the fanfic some time ago, looked out the window and spotted two people in suits loitering near the gate. “Yamada-sensei, Kayama-sensei, who are those people?”

Everyone rushed over to Fumikage’s side of the bus to look out the window, rocking the vehicle.

“Ohh,” said Present Mic. “Yeah. That makes sense. Those guys are with the commission. Yep. Good ol’ Nezu, keeping them out.”

“Wait,” said Jiro, “does this mean we’re stuck out here, too?”

“No, no,” said Present Mic. “He’ll have to let us in… But then they’ll come in, too.”

“Midoriya’s room,” said Fumikage. “They’ll want to search it.”

“Can we do something?” asked Kouda, timidly.

“Should we do anything?” asked Tsuyu, bluntly. “We don’t want to incriminate Midoriya even more by making it look like he’s hiding things.”

Fumikage turned to Kaminari. “Anything new from Principal Nezu?”

“Why are you looking at me?”

“You’re the one he emailed last time.”

“Hey, Fumikage,” said Jiro, “do you think you can fly over the wall? Maybe you can get a head start on… well, whatever, I guess.”

“I don’t think we should do anything suspicious while they’re watching,” reiterated Tsuyu.

“Yeah, plus we really revamped campus security. And this is Nezu we’re talking about.”

“The Rat God,” someone whispered, reverently.

(Was that Shouji?)

“Exactly, exactly,” said Present Mic. “So, everyone, just, please, calm down. Just sit back down, and we’ll ride the bus to the dorms. Like normal.”

“Yamada-sensei, nothing about this is normal,” said Tsuyu, flatly.

“Well,” said Present Mic, “yeaaaah, okay, you got me there, listeners.”

“Nezu’s coming up,” said Green Light. “Aw, he has Eri with him. They’re so short together.”

“Green Light,” crackled the radio in Nezu’s voice. “Did you forget that I have cameras and microphones installed on all our buses?”

“That’s how he knew I was the one putting together the compilation!” said Kaminari.

Fumikage peered out the window and furtively opened it, so they could hear what was going on. Eri was definitely there. She was also sporting the deepest, most dismal, aura of darkness Fumikage had ever laid eyes on. Luckily, it seemed to be aimed at the commission lackeys in the form of a smile and dead, dead eyes.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen!” said Nezu, cheerily. “I apologize for the long wait! As Lunch Rush indubitably told you, we had a small emergency.”

“We’ve been out here for hours. What kind of emergency could have kept you for hours under these circumstances?”

Eri’s smile grew both broader and deader. “Me,” she said. “I’m the emergenny.”

“Emergency,” corrected Nezu, gently.

“Emergency,” repeated Eri.

“I’m sorry?” said the shorter of the two investigators.

“I’m the emergency. I hada—” she paused, and her face pinched slightly in concentration. “I had an emergency, because, because, you’re being mean to Deku.”

“We—”

“You’re mean,” insisted Eri. “You’re bad guys. Deku is the good guy, because he saved me. Only bad guys are mean to good guys.”

“Excuse me, is this Chisaki Eri?”

Eri hissed.

“Perhaps I could ask you to refrain from using that family name. We’ve been trying to get past what her form did to her, you understand. Teach her morality.”

“I’ll bite you,” said Eri, malevolently.

“Self-defense, as well,” continued Nezu. “It’s very important for children to be able to feel safe and confident in themselves, don’t you think? And the recent news dealt a serious blow to that. You understand, then why I felt that it was more important to take care of my ward and other students than to greet you here. Especially given that you wished to interview Eri-chan as well.”

“I’ll bite you,” repeated Eri. “A lot.”

“We’ll… need a look at Midoriya’s room, first.”

“Way to go, Eri,” whispered Shinsou.

“Very well! You’ll have to come around to the front office to fill out some paperwork. We’ll need a physical copy of your badges, as well as a copy of your warrant, for our records…”

The gate opened, distracting Fumikage from whatever else Nezu had said. Green Light quickly drove through, making straight to the dorms. Fumikage snapped the window shut.

“So, uh,” said Kaminari. “What’re we going to do about Midoriya’s All Might shrine of a room?”

“Should we even do anything?” asked Jiro. “If stuff is disturbed, that’s going to be suspicious. I don’t want to get him into more trouble.”

“It’s a teenage boy’s bedroom,” said Mineta. “The stuff in there is already disturbed.”

“Mineta, I don’t know how to tell you this,” said Kaminari, “but your experiences are not universal.”

“None of you are disturbing Midoriya’s room at all,” said Midnight, standing. “You didn’t forget that we were here, did you? If you say yes, we’ll have to take some time to work on your situational awareness~”

Nemuri hadn’t quite known what to expect from the words ‘All Might shrine.’ In her experiences, the word ‘shrine’ could, especially when applied to a person’s hobby or area of interest, could cover a vast array of displays of varying intensity.

But Midoriya really went Plus Ultra on everything, didn’t he?

“Okay, kiddos,” said Midnight, “what would you say was the most incriminating thing in this room?”

She and Present Mic were the only ones actually in the room, but the students were gathered right outside the door.

“Notebooks.”

Midnight nodded. They’d get those first, then search for other places Midoriya may have put evidence of less-than-entirely-morally-upright behavior. Not that Midnight really expected to find any.

“Where does he keep them?” she asked.

“He has a shelf above his desk he usually keeps them on, kero.”

Midnight looked at the shelf above Midoriya’s desk.

It looked back at her.

This was because it was a void. As in, void of any notebooks. An abyss of sorts. Empty.

There were no notebooks in evidence.

“This will be a problem.”

“G-Gigantomachia?” asked Izuku, turning up the sweetness in his tone despite his nerves. And pain. Yep, there was a whole lot of pain, everywhere. Now that he was no longer actively running for his life, it felt like he’d pulled every muscle in his body.

“Yes, Little Lord?” asked Gigantomachia, happily.

He was like a giant dog. Izuku almost felt bad tricking him like this, but he reminded himself that Gigantomachia was a giant, evil dog. So.

“Will you do something for me?”

“Of course, Little Lord!”

“Well,” said Izuku, “you remember how I said that Shigaraki Tomura and I don’t get along?”

“Yes, Little Lord! My memory is very good!”

Izuku blinked. “Is that a—” He cut himself off with a shake of his head. Not the time. “Well, I think that it might be a good idea if, ah, we established that he can’t attack me anymore.”

Gigantomachia stood up, shaking the earth and almost sending Izuku tumbling down. “HE ATTACKED YOU?”

Maybe this would be easier than he thought. “Yeah. A couple times. I’m okay, though!” He waved his hands. “I just think that it might be a good idea if we established a, uh, a pecking order. Sort of.”

“I’M GOING TO PECK HIM TO DEATH.”

“Please do not actually kill him.”

“I’M GOING TO PECK HIM MOSTLY TO DEATH.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Izuku.

“I’LL SHOW HIM YOU’RE IN CHARGE. YOU’RE MUCH BETTER THAN HE IS. MUCH MORE LIKE LORD.”

Wow. That was… certainly a statement. That Izuku was going to try his best to forget forever.

“Right. So. If you see him, do that,” said Izuku, nodding.

“OF COURSE, LITTLE LORD.”

“And, this is just a reminder, but don’t go into towns.”

“I WILL REMEMBER!”

“Great,” said Izuku. “I’m going to go back in and, uh…” He couldn’t say ‘plot my escape with Toshinori.’ “Rest,” he settled on.

“Oh!” Gigantomachia crouched down, his voice suddenly whisper-soft. Assuming rocks could be described as whispering. “Sleep well, Little Lord!”

“Thanks,” said Izuku, beating a hasty retreat.

“Stop the car!”

“But you said-!”

“Just stop the car, Twice.”

There was a not-at-all hidden ‘or else’ in those words. Twice, once again, stopped the car.

“Oh, my,” said Midoriya Inko, leaning forward. “That man up there looks remarkably like the sitter Hisashi hired for Izuku.”

“Oh, god,” said Tomura, dragging his hands down the sides of his face in lieu of looking out the window. “We aren’t prepared for this level.”

Midoriya Inko suddenly disappeared. Tomura made a noise in the back of his throat that wasn’t at all a scream.

Mr. Compress raised his hands defensively. “I thought it best to marble her while she was distracted. We wouldn’t want her to get injured in ”

“Wow! Way to go, Mr. Compress!” said Toga, giving the other villain a hug. “Good thinking!”

“Yeah!” agreed Twice. “Now she can’t hurt us—But she sure can when you let her out!”

“Which is why I propose we bring her to Giran at the first feasible opportunity. Between him and the doctor, I’m sure they can make arrangements for her that we need not be involved in. And I will make sure we are all far, far away when I let her out.”

There was a series of sighs of relief.

“Good idea,” croaked Tomura. “But what are we going to do about—” He swore vehemently. “He’s seen us, he’s seen us we’ve got aggro! Reverse!”

“Is that Vlad-sensei’s car?”

“Unfortunately,” said Toshinori, “I think it is. Oh, dear, the man’s one to hold a grudge. I think I’ll have a new nemesis by the end of this.”

Today had been a very annoying day in general for Vlad King, but for some reason, his sense of annoyance suddenly doubled. This made his hands clench and thereby tear the piece of paper he was holding.

Scratch that. His sense of annoyance had tripled.

“Yagi,” he muttered, “I am going to sue you so much.”

“What was that?” asked Hound Dog, looking away from the video feed displaying Eri-chan scarring Hero Commission agents for life in her undeniably cute way.

“Nothing,” muttered Vlad.

All for One paused in his assault of the vault door. He couldn’t help but feel like someone somewhere had said something unusually aggravating.

Ah, well. He had other things to worry about.

“Ah,” said Toshinori as one of Gigantomachia’s fists tore off the bumper of the rapidly reversing car. “Hm,” he continued as Shigaraki climbed out on the hood, grinning. “I think we should go, now.”

Izuku nodded. They could only hope to get far away enough away for Gigantomachia to be unable to hunt them down.

If they ran into any other problems…

Dabi paused as he heard quite a lot of noise from up ahead and rolled his eyes, ignoring how the movement pulled at his staples. The idiots had already started fighting Gigantomachia. Well. He didn’t want any part of that.

He changed directions. Hanging out in the woods it was, then.

Eh. It was good for him. Fresh (cold) air. Sunshine (sort of). Readily available reminders of why he hated his father.

Nature was great. If only he could burn it all down without blowing cover.

“Oh, no,” said a hapless technician.

“What?” asked the commission supervisor who’d brough the sample to the lab. “What is it? Is he related to the Scourge of Kamino?”

“Well,” squeaked the woman, her mousy ears twitching. “Yes. But I ran him through a few other databases as well, and…” she trailed off. “Well… The number of cross references in the hero database is staggering, but, of course, if he’s related to them, and to the other, well…”

The commission supervisor grabbed the edge of her monitor and twisted it around to face him. She watched the blood drain from his face and refrained from calling him out on his rudeness.

“Why,” he asked, “didn’t they run the Scourge of Kamino’s DNA through these databases?”

“I guess they didn’t think it was necessary?”

“Excuse me,” he said, “I have to make a few calls.”

“You want us to attack the League of Villains now?” asked Hawks, frowning. “You’ve had me following them around for weeks, and you want us to go in now, with next to no preparation? We don’t even know if the rest of the League is with Dabi.”

What had they found out from Midoriya’s blood sample? Had it turned out the way Dabi had expected.

Was Midoriya Izuku the son of All for One?

“Alright, alright,” he said in response to his handler. He sighed deeply, leaning back to better look at the sky. “But even I’m going to need a couple hours to get everything together and start coordinating with other heroes. I’m—Sir, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to take them all on just with myself and my sidekicks. Midoriya probably isn’t with them to begin with—I’m not questioning you, sir. I just don’t understand our objective in attacking them now. Why are we rushing? It seems counterpro—Yes, sir.” The line beeped loudly as it disconnected.

Well. All this had been a monumental waste of time.

It also boded ill for Midoriya. It sounded as if he’d become an even greater target than before, and considering that the commission had been labeling him a villain even before testing his DNA… Something bigger than being related to All for One must have come out. Something that had scared the commission. Something they would scrap their stealth- and intelligence-based plan for dealing with the League for. Something they wanted gone. Locked away with Midoriya.

Hawks couldn’t imagine what that could be. Maybe he was related to All Might? Or Endeavor? All Might wouldn’t be bad, he was never publicly in a relationship, but then he’d always been private about his personal life. But Endeavor… that’d be a scandal and a half.

But, if either of those were the case, why were they so sure he’d be with the League of Villains? It didn’t make sense. Unless… Unless Midoriya wasn’t the only one related to All for One.

At least they weren’t asking him to kill the kid. The mission was capture.

Which meant that Hawks had to come up with some way of letting an injured and probably exhausted teenager and a severely disabled old man escape without looking like he was letting them escape. Or looking like an incompetent idiot. Again. Because he wasn’t about to bring Midoriya in under circumstances this shady. Maybe before, when he thought it was just trumped-up kidnapping charges, but with this uncertainty…

Commission lackey or not, Hawks was still a hero. Sometimes that meant he put aside personal feelings for the good of society, and sometimes it meant that he ignored orders so a minor wouldn’t be indefinitely imprisoned at a commission black site.

Fun times.

He sighed and gathered in his feathers, angling down into a dive. Time to get to work.

Ochako kept seeing things out of the corners of her eye. Shadow in the shape of people, in the shape of children. Stains on the walls.

The hallways were scrupulously clean. Spotless. Empty. Brightly lit.

Todoroki had mentioned smelling smoke a few times and had started gagging for no reason once or twice. Iida kept twitching as if he had heard something. Aizawa appeared unaffected, but Ochako could see the way he gripped his capture weapon and the rigidness of his spine.

Izuku looked resigned.

“Did they really—” started Iida.

“Yes,” said Izuku. “Almost certainly.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Todoroki.

“You’re only getting fragments of Three’s memories, since she’s suppressing this,” said Izuku. “But…” He twitched, slightly. “It’s going to get worse the farther we go. The places she was in…” His voice was soft, sing-song, not quite entirely there.

“Izuku?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m focusing on something else outside.”

“Please tell me you aren’t fighting pro heroes again,” said Aizawa.

“No, I’m escaping from the League of Villains right now.”

“How?”

“Mm. Great question. I’ll tell you how it goes later, if it works.”

“That’s not what I—”

An ear-splitting, bone-chilling scream filled the air, making everyone flinch and clench. Something crackled overhead.

“Incident response team to hallway C. Code Blue.”

More screaming. This time, Ochako had a better idea of where it was coming from, and it seemed like everyone else, did, too.

They ran past classrooms that were alternately empty and full of shadow people, past soulless dormitory rooms stuffed with bunk beds, past cells and rooms Ochako didn’t even want to think about.

A pair of dark-skinned girls stood in the hallway, one holding a bloody hand to her throat, the other baring her teeth. The lights flickered. Dimmed.

The girls were gone by the time the lights came back on.

The hallway they were in was full of operating theaters, complete with lights over the door. Ochako felt sick.

But she was used to dealing with nausea. She took a deep breath and swallowed.

“What now?” she asked. The quaver in her voice was barely audible.

“Now…” Aizawa turned slowly in place. “We’re trying to find where they met Ryuji.”

��Two,” said Izuku, nodding.

“So, the most likely place for that…” He trailed off. “The most likely place for that is in the… residential areas.” He sounded disgusted with himself for referring to a prison with such bland terms.

“We passed something like that,” said Todoroki, quietly.

“Right,” said Aizawa. “Let’s go.”

The way back was much more… crowded. The memories were more tangible. Ochako quickly taught herself not to look in any of the rooms. Not that it helped much with what they saw in the halls themselves.

Izuku’s distraction only grew worse as they went further. He kept trying to follow, or sometimes fight, the memory ghosts.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Focusing on something else.”

“Just don’t die on us, problem child.”

“We’re doing okay,” said Izuku.

This was, of course, when the facility’s alarm went off.

“Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.”

Izuku couldn’t hear the sound of the fight between the League and Machia anymore. This meant that either the fighting had stopped, or they had moved out of earshot.

Despite the League having a car (Vlad-sensei’s car) Izuku doubted that the fight had gotten all that far away.

Next to him, Toshinori winced. Izuku looked at him with concern, but Toshinori waved it off.

Izuku took a shaky breath.

They just had to keep going.

Twice had, perhaps predictably, backed the car up into a ditch, where, despite the amount of pressure he put on the accelerator, it stayed. Stuck. Perhaps forever.

All members of the League of Villains that were not crazy enough to crawl onto the outside of a moving car to fight a homicidal giant climbed out. All members, meaning a single member. A single member, ironically, being Twice.

At least he hadn’t been going very fast when he ran into the ditch.

“Everyone okay? –Of course, they’re not! You were in a car crash, idiots!”

“Come help us fight!” ordered Shigaraki. “We were in the middle of something, you know, stupid level boss! Keep having to save scum I hate you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Well, that wasn’t a good sign.

“Where’s Himiko?” he shouted.

“Over here, silly!” said the second Shigaraki, because, yeah. Twice had forgotten he hadn’t duplicated Shigaraki.

Man, he was dumb sometimes. It was great he had friends to help him with that!

He dove into the fight which, ever so slightly, ever so slowly, began to move away from the car.

Izuku’s head throbbed sharply, and he stumbled, Toshinori just managing to catch him before he faceplanted. Four and the other past users hissed at him from the back of his mind.

Someone’s coming. Hide.

They were in no condition for another fight.

Toshinori nodded sharply, and pulled Izuku aside, into some bushes. Izuku tried to breathe quietly but was painfully aware that both he and Toshinori were out of breath and raspy. Ragged. They’d been aiming for speed, not stealth, counting on the sounds of combat to cover them.

But if someone was out here—

Izuku smelled smoke. A branch snapped. He held his breath, despite the way his lungs longed for more oxygen. Had Dabi been in the car? Izuku hadn’t seen him. He hadn’t seen any blue fire. It wasn’t like Dabi to hold back.

A pair of black booted feet came into view.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

They found Two standing in a hallway, surrounded by the bodies of soldiers. A small horde of shadow children clung to his legs.

When he laid eyes on Izuku, he sighed.

“Does the world ever give you a break?” he asked.

“Not that I’ve noticed,” said Izuku.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #fic #fanfic #long night in the valley

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curechocolattymilk · 3 years

Text

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

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And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

#tes v #tes v skyrim #last dragonborn #ldb oc #jeerteiperdes #tes #skyrimblogging #oc meme #long post #character meme #finished this just in time for me to start registering for my online courses neato #also its almost 12am so if you notice any misgendering of tei (calling them he) lmk im tired haha

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stayathomesim · 3 years

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Ok so I haven’t been playing Sims as much the last few weeks because we got Skyrim and I’ve been playing it like all the time. So, naturally, I’ve now crossed them over. And am writing some fanfic to go with it. 😆

In my Skyrim game, my character has a house in Whiterun where Lydia, her BFF-with-benefits probs, stays with their two adopted daughters, Lucia and Sofie. Lydia is super loyal to her, but not her soulmate. Her soulmate is definitely Erandur. I love Erandur. She loves Erandur.

She’s building a house now outside of Falkreath where she bought some land. She dreamed of living there with Erandur, but turns out you can’t marry him in the game. 😭

That’s mostly what started my fanfic/Sims story.

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A rambling aside... you can marry Lydia, but now I can’t find Lydia. I think I left her on Solstheim? She’s never home now when I check, only our daughters who expect me to bring them a gift all the time and one of them has now acquired a fox as a pet. 🙄

So I started using Rayya for quests sometimes instead, but she may have gotten mauled by a skeleton dragon in a cave somewhere... I can’t find her now, either. 😬

My true love, Erandur, accompanied me to several main questline things in Dwemer ruins. I asked him to part ways when I needed to sneak into a fort and steal something, and I assumed he’d head back to Nightcaller temple. But I haven’t been able to find him ever since. 😭

So basically I decided I was going to marry Farkas. I liked him first, I just forgot about him all hanging out in the Lodge for awhile. But you can’t marry Farkas until you complete The Companions questline. But the next thing I had to do sounded dangerous, so I needed someone to come with me. But I can’t find any of them. So I decided to go get Serana. But I can’t actually do stuff with Serana until I complete The Dawnguard questline.

So yeah, I’m down a really deep questline rabbit hole all so I can marry Farkas.💁‍♀️

I blame Lydia.

#ts4 #skyrim

4 notes · View notes

aspiring-ginger · 5 years

Text

Of All the Stars in the Sky (Jaskier x Reader)

Request: Yay! So happy your requests are open! I love your wriring. Can you please do something with Jaskier? Maybe reader has been trained with a sword most their life and travels with Geralt and Jaskier. He could write a song about the reader (very original haha) or reader gets hurt and Jaskier worries for them. I don’t know, thank you ♡

Summary: Geralt & the gang are on their way to Vizima when some trouble brews outside of the city gates. Suspicions rise when the reader doesn’t show up to the New Narakort Inn as planned.

Warnings: Strong language, violence. Nothing unusual for the Witcher.

Word count: 5,808

Pairing(s): Jaskier x reader

A/N: Here ya go, anon! I got carried away and couldn’t choose one of the two options, so I just did both. Almost 6k haha. Reader’s gender wasn’t mentioned so I did my best to keep it gender neutral. I took some inspiration from The Witcher 1, as well as the Carnal Sins questline from The Witcher 3. Also thanks to my best friend for helping me write this (she doesn’t have a tumblr or I’d tag), thanks bb!! Some of you wanted to be added to my taglist so I’m going to do it by fandom, character, and series. Please specify which you want to be tagged in or else you’re getting everything lol. So anyone who commented on Forget-Me-Not chap 1 is going to be just for that series, unless you said otherwise. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy this one! As always requests, comments, and feedback is always appreciated. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Taglist: @dandelionwitcher @thunderdog8

Masterlist

There was a simple comfort found on the open road. Surrounded by nature untainted by man, nothing but earth and sky around you. Everything raw and untamed just as nature intended.

It was here out in the open where you found yourself currently, head resting on your bunched up cloak propped up on a log, angled up at the sky. Geralt and Jaskier were around somewhere, each tending to his own business. Geralt had been holed up in his tent, most likely replenishing his stock of potions and elixirs after your last hunt.

Geralt had learned quickly that any and all alchemy was to be done privately in his room or tent, away from Jaskier’s prying eyes. You had only been travelling with the odd pair for a few weeks at that point, still unsure of the limits and boundaries you had with the two. You had been sitting with them close to the small campfire Geralt had set up. It was a warm night, the boys both shedding their outer layers and rolling their sleeves to get as much air as possible. You were intrigued by the witcher’s alchemy as you had never seen anything quite like it before. Sure, you’d seen your share of healers’ work but this was something else entirely. Apparently neither had Jaskier, as he was avidly asking questions and inching closer by the minute. It wasn’t long before Jaskier’s relentless inquiries turned to bickering, and whatever unfinished concoction Geralt had been making was spilled. The ground sizzled when splashed, as did the boys’ exposed skin. While you pitied them both for the chemical burns, the rest of the week had been pretty entertaining. Stock full of pouting and theatrics.

You snickered at the memory as you stared up at the night sky. Jaskier’s childish actions that week had really brought the three of you together, and solidified your part in the rag-tag team. You had come to the rescue when ambushed by bandits later in the week. Geralt was unable to defend both himself and the bard given his current injuries, and you had swooped in at the last second deflecting a blade aimed at Jaskier’s throat. After that moment you had decided to stick with the boys for good.

“What are you laughing at? Something funny in the sky?” Jaskier teased, propping himself up against the log next to you.

You hadn’t heard him approach, jumping slightly at his words. He had been washing up at the nearby creek and you weren’t expecting him to be back so soon. The fresh smell of his soap- a mixture of sandalwood, sage, and a sweet fruit, cherry maybe?, hit your nose as he nudged your shoulder with his and laughed.

“No, just remembering something funny,” You smiled.

“Oh? Would you care to share? Geralt’s ‘locked’ himself in his tent so I could use a bit of a pick me up.” He teased, stretching his arms behind his head to mimic your position.

You jokingly hummed in thought, “Remember that time with Geralt’s potions and you managed to burn right through your shirt? What, a year ago now? You demanded extra special care for your 'terrible wounds’ that whole week! I swear I thought Geralt was going to tear your head off.”

“In my defense, that had been one of my favorite shirts from home, which was absolutely flattering by the way, and they really were terrible wounds! I seem to recall you coming to my rescue- my knight in shining armor with her noble steed,” He giggled and dramatically draped a hand over his forehead.

“I’m sure Blueberry just loved carrying your spoiled arse around,” You snorted.

Jaskier scoffed, “Blueberry and I have become great friends since then. She adores me!”

You heard your mare snort as if in response, and the two of you dissolved into a fit of giggles and laughter. You wiped a stray tear from your eye and sighed. You turned your head to look at the bard

“We’re finally headed back to Vizima tomorrow. Are you excited for a real bath and a soft bed?”

“How could I not? One can only travel on the road for so long before needing a well earned refresher. Even the witcher has his limits,” You hummed in agreement. “Besides! I’ll be debuting my newest song. This one will be a hit, I’m sure of it! Even better than the last!”

“Really? Even better than Toss a Coin?” You raised a brow in mock surprise.

“Let’s just say that I have a better inspiration this time around,” He turned to face you as well, throwing a wink in your direction.

You let out a nervous laugh and prayed to Melitele that the darkness around you hid the blush that dusted your cheeks. You cleared your throat and pointed up at the sky, hoping to change the topic.

“Do you ever get lost in the beauty of the stars? We see them every night, yet each time I look up they almost take my breath away. I get dizzy just looking at them all.”

Jaskier let out a low chuckle, “Wonderfully spoken, (y/n). Mind if I use that in a song?”

You rolled your eyes “I’m being serious! I just don’t understand how something so beautiful just goes unnoticed by so many.”

You heard Jaskier hum next to you and you glanced over to see his reaction. His face and body was turned to face you, a small smile gracing his cheeks. Firelight flickered in his bright blue eyes and you were overwhelmed with the scent of him again. Seconds ticked by as you were pulled in by his gaze. You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes dart down to your lips. His face was so close to yours, you just wanted to reach out and brush his still damp hair out of his eyes, pulling his face close so you could-

You awkwardly cleared your throat, sliding yourself away from him before you could do anything foolish you would regret.

“I um, I-I’ll see you in the morning, Jaskier. Goodnight.” You scooped up your cloak and scurried over to your bedroll. Seeing as how you only had two tents between the three of you and you quite enjoyed the weather this time of year, you offered Geralt and Jaskier a tent each. You cursed yourself and you turned away in your blankets, trying to ignore the bard across the camp.

Jaskier sighed and called his goodnights out to you and Geralt as well. He glanced up at the stars with a wistful smile. It would only be one more day, maybe two, before he could finally follow through with his plan. He had connections with the New Narakort Inn where he arranged your group’s stay in the city. Hopefully by then he would have the lyrics finished and ready to perform. His previous attempts at flirting had failed to get your attention, so as a final resort he devised his whole plan to perform his new song to you, as a confession.

He climbed into his tent, pulling out his notebook and scratching out a few words with a sigh. He made a note to mention your love for the stars, and you technically didn’t say no to his request to quote you earlier. He pulled out his lute and rehearsed the melody of the song, mumbling possible lyrics under his breath. You smiled as you rolled over, Jaskier’s calming chords lulling you to sleep.

You woke as the first rays of sunlight began to peek through the trees above. A light fog had settled in around you, refracting the light around you. It was quite pretty, actually. You sat up and stretched your arms out, then ran a hand down your face when you faltered. Looking down in confusion, you saw an extra blanket pooled in your lap. One sniff and you identified it as Jaskier’s. Since when did he wake up early? You supposed it had gotten a little chilly during the night, but it was spring after all. You wanted to enjoy your time outdoors before the heat would put you in a sour mood.

You sent a nervous glance at the two tents opposite you, pausing to listen if the occupants had woken up yet. Satisfied when you heard silence you pulled Jaskier’s blanket up to your chest and took a deep breath. You couldn’t hide your smile at his sweet gesture and a quiet giggle escaped your lips. You laid back down all giddy, burying your face into his blanket. It wasn’t long before you drifted back to sleep.

Jaskier emerged from his tent later that morning. Geralt had already started packing his things away, giving him a nod in acknowledgement. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out an apple and tossed it at the bard. Jaskier caught it, buffing it against his shirt before taking a bite. He wiped juice off his chin as he walked up to the witcher. Geralt raised an eyebrow at him with an amused smirk.

“What, is there something on my face? Bad bedhead or something?” Jaskier tutted, placing one hand on his hip.

“Really, Jaskier?” Geralt responded not bothering to elaborate, but inclined his head in your direction.

“Wha-?” He faltered, “What are you talking about, Geralt? It’s too early to decipher your broody minimalism,” He swallowed thickly, fidgeting the apple in his hands.

“Thought your spoiled arse would be cold sleeping without a blanket.” Geralt shrugged, hiding a smirk. He left the bard sputtering to come up with an excuse.

Taking Geralt’s cue that he was done with the conversation for now Jaskier took another bite and sighed. He forgot about the witcher’s heightened senses and would have to be subtler in the future. He was pretty sure Geralt already took him for a fool, but he’d prefer not to fan the flames any more. His head shot up realizing that you could’ve heard their conversation, wincing at his carelessness. His shoulders slumped back down when he saw your still sleeping form. Seems like Geralt didn’t wake you on purpose. Ha ha, very funny.

He quietly padded up to you, careful not to make any sudden movements. You had his blanket snuggled right up against your face, a small smile gracing your features. Jaskier couldn’t help but grin as he felt his heart squeeze at the sight. He gently shook your shoulder and called out your name.

“Wakey wakey, sleeping beauty! We’ve got quite a day ahead of us. Up and at 'em!” You squinted your eyes at Jaskier for disturbing your sleep. He laughed at your pouting and strolled away to pack his things.

You stared forward for a few moments waiting for your brain to fully wake up. Your eyes shot open wide- you still had that damn blanket pulled right up to you- and you quickly shoved it off. You winced and hoped you didn’t look too silly in your sleep. You packed your belongings as well. You certainly didn’t feel like a sleeping beauty as you smoothed your rumpled hair back down.

When you had everything stuffed back into your saddlebags and pack, you went to greet Blueberry with her morning pets. It seemed Jaskier already beat you to it- he was feeding her the remnants of his apple and running his hand through her mane. He muttered praise under his breath as he untangled knots with his fingers. You swallowed and paused to gather your thoughts before coming any closer. If he kept this up any longer you just knew you wouldn’t be able to concentrate with his hands around your waist for gods know how many hours until you arrived in Vizima.

You slung the bags around Blueberry’s back and gave her a gentle pat, giving Jaskier a curt smile.

“I don’t feel all that great, so you can go ahead and take the reins today,” At least that way you would be able to hide your face if you were embarrassed. “And that way I’ll have better access to my sword. You know, in case monsters or bandits or something,” You justified. You didn’t know who you were trying to convince more- you or him.

You turned on your heels and briskly walked back to your spot. You felt ashamed that you let yourself get carried away with your thoughts. Stupid girlish thoughts. You sighed as you strapped on your light armor. You were a fool to hope Jaskier was anything more than a friend. You double checked your sword- inspecting the blade before sheathing it at your hip. You restrung your shortbow and slung it over your shoulder, and secured your small quiver at your hip. Bandits often patrolled the roads close to the city. Geralt would hear anyone coming way before you, but you wanted to be prepared.

The ride in was mostly uneventful, you spent most of your time dodging Jaskier’s lute case every time he whipped his head back to say something to you. You hadn’t been fast enough the first time, and he and Geralt would not let it go, relentlessly teasing you for being bested by a damn lute. At first it was funny and you laughed along with them, but after the 8th or so close call it got old fast.

You parted ways with Geralt and Jaskier at the city gates, following your usual routine. You would check the outskirts for work for either Geralt or yourself. You often took on hunting jobs or other contracts that didn’t directly involve monsters, since that was obviously Geralt’s area of expertise. Geralt would check notice boards within the city while Jaskier would secure room and board at the best inn he could find that would let him perform. He would take care of Roach and Blueberry and by the time he was done, you and Geralt would return and discuss your findings. Dividing and conquering was your best strategy to ensure you made the most coin you possibly could.

As you slid off of Blueberry’s back, Jaskier informed you to meet at the New Narakort Inn. It was unusual for him to be so prepared, but you shrugged it off as perks of being a bard/entertainer. It didn’t take long to find a notice board in the outskirts. Most of the papers posted were generic notices to the public- “be wary of the merchant with the red hair, don’t give yer money to a witch!” Or complaints of missing livestock- completely useless. There were two promising notes, however. One claiming that Old Farmer Ned’s goats were being slaughtered by terrible beasts. You pocketed that one for Geralt. The other asked for a good amount of venison for some nearby butcher. You tore that one off for yourself.

As you perused the board in front of you, you paid no mind to the villagers milling about. You did begin to take notice as a commotion started to your left. 3 burly men dressed in matching rags and similar tattoos surrounded a young elven girl with their weapons drawn. She clutched a covered basket close to her chest and sobbed. One man held up his blade while the other gestured for the woman to hand the goods over. You couldn’t exactly make out what they were saying, but you guessed the elven woman was begging to let her go. An uneasy feeling settled in your stomach as you glanced around to see if anyone else around noticed what was happening. You frowned in disappointment. Men and women rushed past with heads down ignoring the scene, some even cheering on the men and calling out racial slurs. The first man had stepped even closer to the poor girl, his sword held against her neck as the other men jeered. You sighed and rolled your shoulders back. There was no way you could let this happen, not when you could do something about it.

In the blink of an eye your sword collided with the first man’s, pushing it away from the woman. You held an arm out to her and gestured for her to get behind you.

“You know, you shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to you. Apologize to the woman and walk away,” You threatened with a snarl. The girl ran behind you and clutched your sleeve in fear.

The other two men laughed and pointed their swords at you, the first one just rolled his eyes, “And what are you going to do about it, elf lover? You gonna stand up for this nonhuman filth? We deserve that basket. It should be ours. And once we take it, we’ll get to have our way with her. You want that too, you little shit?” He sneered.

You spat at their feet and swung your sword to disarm the man, kicking him in the groin. He crumpled to the ground as the other two stepped forward, swords swinging. You dodged one and parried the other. They circled around you into a flank position. The second man lunged at you. You stepped back and grabbed him, using his momentum to send him crashing into his buddy. The first man stood up and began to reach for his sword. You turned, smacking the butt of your hilt against the back of his head as he bent over. He collapsed back to the ground with a thud.

The third goon shoved the second off with a grunt and came charging at you, empty handed. His fist smacked right into your chest knocking the air out of your lungs. You hunched over and gasped. The goon saw this as an opening and raised his leg to kick your face in. Your eyes trained on the ground saw his leg lift up, and you took this opportunity to sweep his legs out from under him. He fell to the ground and clawed at your leg. The other man came at you with his sword. Your blades clashed as you shook your leg in an attempt to get rid of the fool at your feet. With a strong kick of your leg, you forced your foot into the man’s face. You heard a sickening crunch and he screamed in pain. With your foot now free, you turned your attention back to the last man standing. You parried blow after blow, the man relentlessly swinging at you. He was quite sloppy, and you quickly found an opening to disarm him as well. You held your blade against his neck, drawing a bit of blood. The man trembled and raised his hands in the air in defeat.

You spat in his face and shoved him to the ground, “You and your friends can go and fuck right off. Next time you think twice about who you’re robbing.” You drove one more kick into his stomach for good measure.

The man scrambled to gather the other two thugs and their weapons before scampering off. They called out slurs and insults as they left but you paid them no mind. You bent over to pick up a jar that had fallen out of the woman’s basket. She had just been carrying groceries home.

You turned around and offered the jar to her with a smile. She stared at you with wide eyes before thanking you profusely. She pulled you into a hug with a sob, choking something out about the kindness of some humans. You awkwardly patted her on the back and placed the jar back into her basket. She started to take out her coin purse insisting on payment but you just held up your hand and shook your head. There was no possible way you could ever take her coin. All you had done was step in to help a woman in need. Just doing what was right. You told the woman this and she responded with another sob. She shook your hand and hurried away with a wave.

You sheathed your sword with a sigh. The villagers avoided your gaze and went out of their way to give you a wide berth. At this point you just desperately wanted a bath, good food and drink, and some quality time spent with your friends. You went and picked up the notice you dropped by the board before you stepped in to help. All you had to do was speak to the butcher to negotiate pay and the amount of meat needed. Then you could finally head into town.

The sun was setting by the time that you made your way past the city gates into the Temple Quarter. It had taken much more time to track down and speak with the butcher, and you hoped that you had enough time for a quick soak before Jaskier’s performance. Even though you’ve heard him play countless times before, you couldn’t miss even a single performance. Seeing him lute in hand playing for so many people was simply put, a breathtaking experience. He was in his element, oozing confidence and charm as he circled the room singing his heart out. Faces in the crowd smiled and cheered along with his songs, clapping and raising their mugs in approval. Every time he would glance back at whatever table you and Geralt had chosen, your heart felt as if it was about to burst. He always looked you in the eye and winked before turning back to the crowd and each time the butterflies in your stomach went crazy. He was so happy and pure and every time without fail, he took that moment to acknowledge you.

Even just thinking about him made your cheeks flush as you walked through the slums of the city. It was only a few more blocks until the Trade Quarter, where the New Narakort was located. You smiled as you saw the torches of guards posted at the gate over the top of the hill. You were so lost in your thoughts as you approached, that you failed to notice the shadow lurking in an alleyway nearby. It darted out as you walked by and grabbed you. A hand was clamped over your mouth before you could cry out and you were dragged back into the alley. The hand released you and you whipped your head around to identify your attacker. A strong blow to your face left you spitting up blood with a groan.

“Serves you right for helping out that disgusting nonhuman, you piece of filth!” You recognized the voice as one of the thugs from earlier.

You opened your mouth to respond, but instead a strong kick to your core knocked the words right out of you. You took blow after blow, spitting up blood when you got the chance. There were at least the same 3 men from before, but you were so disoriented you couldn’t even tell. They paused every so often to let you catch your breath and try to fight back before kicking you down to the ground again. Kick after kick after kick you struggled on the ground. There was a sharp pain in your right thigh as, what you guessed could only be, a dagger drove straight into your poor leg. You screamed out in agony and suffered another blow to the head. Each attack seemed to be growing in power as you clawed at the ground to try and escape. A sob escaped your lips as you felt the slash of another blade across your back. The men around you cheered and laughed, all taking part of the fun.

“You don’t mess with us, you elf loving whore!” The main attacker cried. With a laugh his final blow to your head had you seeing stars, and the world faded to black.

When you came to, you were alone. the moon was already high in the sky, and you couldn’t make anything out in the alley around you. You groaned in pain as you tried to sit up to assess your wounds. The dagger that was plunged deep into your thigh was still there, stopping most of the bleeding. That was good, but every time you even shifted, you cried out in pain. You had to take it out but you didn’t have any of your supplies on you, you left it all packed on Blueberry. The cut on your back scabbed up, but you probably opened it back up by moving around. Your whole face felt swollen, and you tasted blood. You were sure you looked like absolute shit.

You struggled to stand. Leaning heavily against the wall, you spat out more blood. You shuffled against the brick wall, hands clawing any groove you could grab just to pull yourself forward. You manage a couple of steps before you collapse down the ground. Fuck. You didn’t know how far you could go in the state. You let out a frustrated sob. Would Geralt and Jaskier be able to find you in time? Did they even notice you were gone? Your thoughts were racing as you heaved yourself up once more. You banged your leg against the wall and yelped- your vision going fuzzy for a moment. If you could at least drag yourself out of the alley, maybe there was a chance a guard would find you?

You heard footsteps approach and winced- were those thugs coming back for more? You looked up and saw a silhouette of a man.

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help.” You heard a soothing voice call out. You groaned and shifted against the bricks. “I saw what you did earlier, outside of town. You helped one of my kind. I wish to repay this kindness.” He stepped closer and slipped an arm around you, holding you up so your weight wasn’t on your injured leg.

“Please, save your energy and don’t speak. My name is Palmar, I’m a trained healer. I’ll take you back to my house to patch you up. Do you live here?” You shook your head, “Are you here alone?” You shook your head, “We can send word to your companions once we get you safe. Is that alright?” You nodded. You then lurched forward, Palmar holding you up.

The journey to Palmar’s small house went by in a blur, the pain in your leg too strong to focus on anything else. When you arrived, he laid you down on a cot in the main room. It was small with only a fireplace, a table, your cot, and a hallway visible. Once you were propped up with pillows, Palmar lit the fireplace and several candles throughout the room to provide light. You finally got a good look at your savior. He was tall and scrawny, dressed in a simple shirt and pants. He looked young, maybe 30 years you guessed. The top of his auburn hair was pulled into a bun while the rest hung down to his shoulder. He caught your gaze and smiled, warm brown eyes filled with warmth.

“I assure you, I have treated many wounds like this. You are in good hands. I told you my name, but I’m afraid I didn’t catch yours,” He strode around the room, gathering various vials and bandages.

“(Y/n). I travelled here with a witcher and a bard- Geralt of Rivia and Jaskier. I was supposed to meet them at the New Narakort.” Your voice was raspy and strained.

“The New Narakort? A fine establishment. I’ve heard their stew is to die for,” He smiled again, undoing the straps of your armor and weapons. “I’m afraid this is going to hurt. Like a bitch,” He chuckled “I’m going to pull the knife out on the count of three, alright? Ready? One, two-” you braced yourself for the pain, crying out as he yanked the dagger out early. Palmar quickly cleaned out the wound. With the knife gone, he helped you strip down to your smalls. He cleaned and dressed the rest of your wounds, muttering words of encouragement as he went. As the pain finally began to lessen, you felt your eyelids droop with exhaustion. Palmar let out a small chuckle.

“It’s alright, my friend. You can rest. I will go fetch your friends while you sleep.” You furrowed your brow at him, not understanding why he was being so kind.

“I don’t understand, why are you helping me?” You forced your eyes open. You didn’t want to fall asleep without knowing the answer. Palmar helped you back into your shirt and lay comfortably on the cot.

“As I said before, I saw what you did for that poor woman outside of town. You stood up to those humans. No other human would’ve stepped in like you did. I am grateful. I was walking home when I saw those awful humans leave the alley and my gut told me to check it before I continued home- and I found you.” You sighed, happy with his answer for now. You couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer so you snuggled closer to the blankets. As Palmar stood to leave he whispered, “My daughter was killed by that very same gang. The one you stood up against. This was the very least I could do to help.” You slipped into a dreamless sleep.

You felt a clammy hand grab yours, and another shake you awake. You opened your eyes to a bright blue pair looking down at you in worry. Jaskier.

“Oh, thank the gods. Geralt, they’re awake! Oh (y/n), you have no idea how worried I was for you! We waited at the inn and when it got dark and you still hadn’t shown, well Geralt said not to worry, but I just knew something wasn’t right! You’ve never missed any of my performances. I couldn’t let you break your streak, so I waited for you. And waited, and waited. Then this lovely man showed up and- gods! I’m just glad you’re alright,” Jaskier rambled, squeezing your hand tighter and tighter with each word.

“Jaskier, I’m okay.” You squeezed his hand back with a smile.

“Blueberry is waiting outside. We’ll take you back to the inn.” Geralt said as he gathered your things and carried them outside.

Jaskier said something to Palmar in Elder as he helped you out of bed, which he responded in kind. You made a mental note to ask Jaskier about it later. They exchanged a few more words, and soon they had you out of the door and on Blueberry’s back. Palmar shook your hand one last smile and thanks before you were on your way. Geralt lead Blueberry by the reins while Jaskier walked beside you, his hand coming up to nervously rub you calf. On your uninjured side, of course.

Your friends slowly lead you through the streets of Vizima, right to the New Narakort. Jaskier helped you inside and to your room while Geralt took care of Blueberry. Jaskier fussed over you, helping you wash your hair and settling you into bed, fluffing every pillow in the process. He bid you goodnight with a squeeze of your hand and blew out the candles, but he hesitated at the door.

“Jaskier? What’s wrong?” You asked, voice laced with worry.

“You could’ve died. They left you in that alley to die and I could have lost you,” Jaskier choked out.

“Julian. It’s alright. I’m alright. I’m safe now. Don’t worry.” He snapped his head up when you called out his real name.

“(Y/n), I always worry. Every time you go out with Geralt on a hunt, or when you pick up odd jobs around towns. I worry. I’m always going to worry about you, because you’re my friend. Actually- hang on a minute. I’ll be just a moment!” He rushed out the room in a flash. Your heart ached at his words. You’re my friend. Just a friend. A bittersweet smile escaped your lips. It was obvious just how much the bard cared for you, but it still wasn’t enough. You sighed, swallowing back tears and waited for him to come back.

Jaskier was true to his word- he was only gone for two minutes at most. He burst back into the room, out of breath with his lute in hand.

“(Y/n), the reason I couldn’t have you miss my performance is because of my new song. Remember? I’ve finally finished it, and I couldn’t have you miss it, because…” he faltered, hands wringing nervously, “I wrote it for you.” You looked at him in surprise as he held the lute up and began to play. The melody was beautiful. It was somewhat familiar as you had tried to eavesdrop whenever you could in camp, but you had never heard the words before. He sang about a fierce warrior with (h/c) hair shining in the sun as they defeated their foes, their bravery and kindness unmatched. The beauty of their laugh and smile was enough to turn the heads of everyone as they walked into the room. Their love of the stars in the night sky, 'each time I look at them, they take my breath away’. He was quoting you, in a song he wrote for you. No, wrote about you. He wrote this song about you. Tears sprang up in your eyes as you came to this realization. Jaskier’s fingers slipped as he saw your reaction.

“I-it’s horrible isn’t it. I figured. I should’ve waited a bit longer- practiced it more.” He groaned, running his hand down his face. “(Y/n), I’m sorry. Obviously I need to work on this one a bit more but.. you have to understand that you almost died. I wrote this song and you almost died. I had to play it for you before I would lose the chance because… because (y/n). I love you.” His piercing blue eyes were filled with hope as he looked into yours.

“Julian- I love it. It’s beautiful and I love the song and I love you too,” your words were all rushed together- you couldn’t get them out fast enough.

Jaskier launched himself at you, careful of your wounds, and embraced you tight. You breathed in his familiar scent.

“So since you love me back, does that mean I get to kiss you?” He asked with a smirk, legs straddling your own.

“Oh come here, you,” you laughed. Your hands grasped the sides of his face and pulled him close. You could feel his hot breath against your lips as he hesitated, before he pressed his lips against yours. Your eyelids fluttered shut in content. If this is what it took to finally be with your favorite bard, you’d do it a hundred times over. Now you could finally call Jaskier your own.

#jaskier x reader #jaskier imagine #Jaskier #dandelion #dandelion imagine #dandelion x reader #dandelion x you #jaskier x you #My writing #request #the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher imagine #the witcher x reader #the witcher netflix #the witcher netflix x reader #the witcher netflix imagine #the witcher netflix x you

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faelune-home · 4 years

Text

A Blade of Fallen Petals

(A/N: Sometimes it’s the major story NPCs, and sometimes its the smaller ones. They were only around for so long, but their death still hits like a brick. ;-;

That’s Wilred here. A little story about missing him, and coping with that. I used Lyse as a bouncing off NPC for miqo!Fu partly due to location (since the mini questline that acknowledges him and gives him a resting place in Stormblood goes into the Lochs) but also I find Lyse an interesting character to discuss death, just because for as much as its not presented in game, she’s lost a lot. She’s probably quite familiar with it.

I want to write more of these NPC remembrance stories, and I’ve already done a few prior - one for Minfilia, and two as part of FFXIV Write 2020, both actually featuring Lyse incidentally - but I’d like to do more.

Didn’t do too much editing after I finished writing, so apologies for any iffy errors.

@ffxiv-writers)

Cracking bones pierced the air as Lyse stretched, finally freed from the stuffiness of the castle meeting room. It felt like she’d been up and moving and chatting since dawn had broken, but she could rest at last. Spying the sun in the sky, seeing it just hovering above the walls of the Quarter, she let out a breath of relief. It would be nearing meal time, and she was starving. And she’d have to consider collecting a plate for Fordola as well…

“Well well, if it ain’t Lyse? I figured you’d be busy till sundown,” a voice called, snapping the woman from her thoughts. Gundobald approached with a wave, an affable smile on his face, which she gladly returned.

“It’s getting close enough though, isn’t it? So technically I have been,” she countered, nodding in the direction of the lowering star. “But it’s good to see you, especially after so long.”

“Likewise, lass, likewise. And it's good to be back in Ala Mhigo, even if it's only for a day,” the elder man hummed contentedly, looking around the city with pride in his eyes. Lyse couldn’t help but smile at his reaction.

“Right, you said you’d stay behind for those that couldn’t make the trip,” she mused, remembering the arrangement one of her soldiers - his own nephew - had made to transport the Ala Mhigans home, “So what brings you all the way here then? Just seeing the sights? Taking back stories for the older folk back in Thanalan?”

Gundobald tilted his head. “Aye, I suppose I could do that for them. Rhalgr knows even in their last few days, everyone back in Little Ala Mhigo gains a bit of new life being reminded that their home is free now.” Then he shook his head. “But that wasn’t the main reason I came. It was to pay some respects to some old comrades. The ones that couldn’t be here even to hear the news.”

Lyse lowered her head upon hearing this. “I see. I did learn about the old mercenary monument up north. Probably still fitting for everyone else that uh...passed beyond these lands.” Looking back at him, she asked, “So you’re returning home now? Would you like an escort?”

“Nah, I’m not so enfeebled I can’t handle myself on the return trip,” the highlander shook his head, though there was a friendly glint in his eye as he said it, “Better to keep your men here where they’re needed more, Commander. But if you want, you could send someone to go check on the Scions’ Warrior girl by the monument.”

At this, the woman perked up. “Fufu is here? There, I mean?”

“Aye, I figured you would’ve known, that she would’ve told you. She was up there before I arrived, and she’s still there now.” Lyse shook her head, surprise still colouring her features. Gundobald frowned, but he didn’t sound worried when he added, “Well, I’ll let you look into that on your own. Suppose you’ve been so busy you could do with a catch up with your friend. I’ll get started on my way back.”

He waved, wandering off down the cobbled streets, leaving a pondering Lyse to her thoughts.

~*~*~

The woman didn’t wait long before making the decision to venture to the old tomb, leaving behind an order to deliver food to the resistance’s prisoner should Lyse not return in time to do it herself. A bread roll haphazardly stuffed in her own month would do her until then.

The sky was turning a shade of purple by the time she reached the monument, the clouds painted orange and pink in the fading sunlight. A sole figure sat on the quickly chilling stone in front of the pillar, the only other source of light coming from a small lantern mounted on the saddle of a sleeping chocobo nearby.

“Hey,” Lyse called out, making the miqo’te jump and spin around. A hand hovered over the chakram by her waist, however Fufu quickly relaxed at the sight of her old friend. Her flickering tail settled.

“I wasn’t expecting you,” Fufu said as Lyse joined her. The hyur gave the Scion a friendly nudge, lightly scolding her by saying, “Of course you weren’t, ‘cos you never even told me you were here.”

The miqo’te winced, a sheepish smile on her face. “I’m sorry. In my defense I did show up at the palace gates, and I thought about it, but everyone said you were busy pretty much all day. They offered to take a message, but I didn’t want to interrupt or make you take time out if you were doing important stuff.”

“You’re never interrupting,” Lyse chucked, “I’ll always be happy to make time for you or the other Scions if I can. If anything,” she groaned, rolling her shoulder, both girls wincing at the loud crack it let out, “I’d appreciate having an excuse to take a break.”

Fufu nodded. “Alright then, noted.” Both women fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the quiet as night fell, the sounds of the salt waves lapping at the shore behind them, and Fufu’s noble bird snoring softly next to them, the lantern swinging gently on its hook with each breath the chocobo took. Their faint shadows shifted ever so slightly against the stone structure.

“Who are you here for?” Lyse finally asked, the question having been sitting on her tongue since she’d arrived. Fufu didn’t answer immediately, but Lyse didn’t expect her to. In the meantime she added, “I met Gundobald in the Quarter, he said he came here with you. Or more like you arranged to meet here, I suppose, he said you were already here when he arrived from Little Ala Mhigo.”

Fufu’s tail twitched, managing to brush against the hyuran’s arm.

“Someone I knew once.” Was all she said.

“Did I know them?”

“...Kinda.”

They sat again, Lyse willing to wait for her friend to talk, or even if she didn’t at all. But after a moment, Fufu took in a breath.

“You remember one of the first reports I wrote on my own? For one of my first missions without another Scion watching me.” With a sly smile and a side eye toward her friend, she added, “After the whole thing with the sylphs.”

Lyse inadvertently spluttered as she burst out laughing. “Oh gods! I remember that! Your penmanship was awful, and it was so plain!”

Lyse was already near falling to the floor from hysterics, however the miqo’te shoved the other woman over with an exaggerated pout all the same, though unable to hide the amusement in her voice as she argued, “Excuse you, I’d never done much writing before then, never mind for a fancy mission report. And what am I supposed to even put in one? ‘Went to Little Ala Mhigo, nobody liked me, I had to save some kids from the amalj’aa’? And it's not like you or Papalymo or anybody else was around to help me write it.”

“I kno- gods,” the hyuran gasped, finally trying to bring her laughter to an end. Given their location, things were sure to take a turn, even if Fufu had started the moment of levity. Indeed the woman in question had turned sombre once more. Lyse coughed, trying to stem her chuckles. “Alright, I’m done.”

Another breath out to calm herself, then Lyse said, “I mean, really, it was plain, but that’s fine. It did the job it was meant to do - say what happened, what you did - and you were still new to it all. And teaching you wouldn’t have helped, you probably don’t need to write those anymore. So nothing to dwell on anymore. Right?” Fufu shot her a grateful look. Then she looked up at the stone beacon in front of them.

“Well, one of those kids involved in that whole thing, he’s here now.” Lyse flinched, eyes glancing up at the tomb.

“The one that didn’t die in the amalj’aa attack...but he died later as a Brave,” Fufu said, her face eerily straight, yet her eyes already beginning to water. Lyse herself found her eyes drifting to the foggy horizon, a faint memory of a bright eyed, hopeful looking young man dressed in blue coming to mind.

“His name was Wilred,” the miqo’te added without prompt, “And he meant every word of the Braves’ original creed.”

She shook her head, letting out a shaky breath. “I know a few of the folk that believed in what the Braves were meant to be still stuck with the Scions after that whole mess, but Godsdammit, I wish he could’ve been there as well. He just disappeared one day and then h-he was...he’d been left to rot in Urth’s Fount! He d-didn’t deserve that, h-he…”

Her words caught in her throat, and despite pressing her hands against her eyes to stem the oncoming flood, a sob broke from the warrior. Without hesitation, Lyse pulled the miqo’te into her shoulder, letting her friend weep freely. Fufu’s chocobo nearby stirred, letting out a small chirp at the sound of its mistress’ crying. A glance from the monk let the bird settle again, although the tenseness in its haunches betrayed its worry.

“He should’ve been here, I know,” Lyse mumbled gently, rocking to try and calm the other woman. She bit her lip, trying to think of what she could say to soothe her friend, but coming up short. She didn’t know the boy that well, only recognising him as a passing face in the Rising Stones...and one that eventually stopped showing up.

“It’s more than that,” Fufu hiccuped, lifting her head. Her eyes were already red raw. “He started out so angry and desperate, desperate enough for the ascians to notice him and his friends and...and he was the only one to make it out alive. And that changed him, and he wanted to do good after that. And the Braves were supposed to be his second chance to do that and-- By the Twelve, Lyse, he was younger than us.” Her voice cracked, and Lyse winced.

Still, the woman leaned her head forward against the other’s in a reassuring gesture. Fufu sniffed.

“I know I can’t go back and change things. I can wish and hope and say what I could’ve done instead - and I wish I’d watched him more now, I wish I’d taken Riol worries to heart, and I wish we’d never crossed paths with Ilberd, that I had cut him down where he stood if I knew then what I do now - but I know that won’t change anything about what happened before.” She let out a heavy sigh after her rant, finally seeming to calm. “I wish for a lot of things Lyse.”

“Me too.”

“I wish he had a chance.”

“I know. I wish all the time that Papalymo was still here to help me. He’d keep the resistance in line better than I could.” At that, the keeper chuckled.

Another sniff. “It’s moments like this...losing people I feel like I could’ve saved, it makes me try harder. So I don’t have to lose anyone else. So normal people can have a chance after hardship.”

“For those we have lost?” Lyse said, a small smile on her lips. Fufu smiled back, nodding.

“I wish they didn’t have to die, but I won’t let their deaths be in vain. But...but I guess it all feels like so much sometimes. And I need to be alone to deal with it. I know I could stay with the other Scions and they wouldn’t judge me for it, but just every now and then...” She trailed off.

“I get that,” the hyuran chuckled, ruffling Fufu’s hair, “And that’s fine, good even. It shows that you care. That the whole Warrior of Light title isn’t just for show. Better that than coming across like some soulless killing machine.”

“I’m proud of what I do, since I can help so many people, but sometimes it can feel like a weight,” Fufu pouted.

Lyse sighed. “I know the feeling.”

The highlander stood, her knees cracking, offering a hand to Fufu as well. The chocobo finally woke after a whistle from its rider, stumbling to its feet.

“We’ll go back to the Quarter together, and you can spend the night with me. I can send a soldier or call Tataru’s linkshell to let the Scions know,” Lyse suggested. Too worn down by her emotional outburst to argue, Fufu nodded, the idea sounding appealing at that.

“And in future,” the woman continued, “if you come here again, I insist you let me know. I won’t let you sit here on your own. This sort of thing is better with a little support, isn’t it?”

Fufu looked up at the stars above, the shimmering dots reflecting in her wide watery eyes. She smiled, looking back at her friend.

“I’d appreciate that.”

#Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV #Wilred Glasse #character death #lyse hext #my writing #keeper of the moon miqo'te #my wol #fufu faelune

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tes-trash-blog · 5 years

Note

So, uh, a while back you mentioned making a post about how Prisoner McNord might affect the player experience/perceptions of the "default" and I would be super interested in reading that

So!

I have a few thoughts already on what is considered “default” in Skyrim to be expanded upon in a future shitstorm rant (it’s on the list, between Almalexia Is Interesting Actually and Even More Crying About Snow Elves Part 17: My Tears Have Become Sentient And Are Also Crying).

And as always, keep in mind that Skyrim is coming up on 9 years old, elements of it have not aged well, and this is in no way, shape, or form meant to be a “If you like Skyrim then you’re Bad” rant. In case you haven’t noticed, I kind of love that game. It has flaws; all games do, and frankly it’s a miracle this game is as solid as it is. The writers are that, writers. They had deadlines to make, hardware limitations to consider, and above all else, worked for a company that wanted to make money.

To keep this relatively short I’ll focus on how your perception of Skyrim is influenced by the first few minutes of the game via Ralof, the Nordiest Nord to Nord since Ysgranord, and how the writers really, really really wanted you to hold on to that perception.

Overanalysis and spoilers (Metal Gear Solid, Borderlands, and Bioshock respectively yes this will all make sense in context) under the cut.

Part 1: How To Make A Perspective In Three Easy Steps

As the saying goes, first impressions are lasting impressions. This is evident in.. well, every bit of media you can find. The first chapters of a book, the first episode of a show, the first 15 minutes of a video game, all as a general rule:

1.) Introduces the setting, a part of the main plot, and with these two, sets the tone of the medium (high fantasy movie, light hearted TV show, mystery series, horror game, etc.). Exceptions exist, especially in horrors, mysteries, and certain visual novels, but even these exceptions rely on setting a tone so they can subvert your expectations later on.

2.) Give you an idea of what is going on. This is normally accomplished with exposition of some sort; Star Wars had its famous screen crawl expositing the dark times in the Galaxy, Borderlands literally begins with “So, you want to hear a story..”, Metal Gear Solid briefs Solid Snake (you, the player character) on a vital mission to save two hostages and end a terrorist threat, so on and so forth. And again, there are exceptions: Bioshock purposefully disorients you with a plane crash in the middle of the ocean so you’re inclined to trust the first person who talks to you.

This all serves to suspend disbelief, immerse you, and earn your trust. This is a new world, you have no idea what’s going on, so you’re gonna take cues from someone who does. Combine points 1 and 2, and that..

3.) Gives you an idea of what is “good” and what is “bad”. Damn near every story has a central conflict, you gotta pick a side, and there’s gonna be a bias as to which one is superior or morally just. Using Bioshock again, this mysterious man named Atlas guides you through the first level, and tells you how to fight and survive in the hostile environment of Rapture; meanwhile, Andrew Ryan taunts and belittles you, and also has a giant golden bust of himself. The shorthand is: Atlas is humble, helpful, and good, while Andrew Ryan is a megalomaniac who wants you dead. Leaning on Borderlands again, the first voice you hear is literally a guardian angel telling you not to be afraid, and that you are destined to do great things. Once more with Metal Gear: Your organization and your commanders are good, you are good because you’re saving innocent people, and FOXHOUND is bad because they’re terrorists who have the means to launch a nuclear warhead.

Keeping all this in mind, let’s do a quick runthrough of the first, let’s call it 15 minutes of Skyrim. No commentary on my end, just a play by play of the beginning of the game.

Part 2: First Impressions In Action

You wake up on a cart. Your vision is hazy, and you are clearly disoriented. You see a man bound and gagged, another man in rags, and several men dressed like soldiers. Everyone on the cart is tied up, and the people driving the cart are wearing a neat, vastly different uniform.

Then comes the famous line: “You! You’re finally awake! You were caught trying to cross the border, got caught in that Imperial ambush same as us, and that thief over there!” The thief bitterly remarks how these damn Stormcloaks had to cook up trouble in a nice and lazy Empire. The Nord who first spoke with you nobly says that we’re all brothers and sisters in these binds.

The presumed Imperial tells you all to shut up. Undeterred, the thief and the Stormcloak provide more exposition: The gagged man is the leader of the resistance, is supposedly the true High King, and since he’s on the cart, it’s clear that everyone on board is bound for the executioner’s block. The thief is terrified; the Nord accepts his fate, but takes a moment to opine on better days when he flirted with girls and “when the Imperial walls made him feel safe.” There is also a remark about General Tulius and the Thalmor agents; the Nord, in a rare bit of anger, damns the Elves and insinuates they had a hand in this capture.

It’s execution time. General Tulius gives a speech about how Ulfric started a civil war and killed the former High King; Ulfric, being gagged, cannot say a word in defense. A Stormcloak is executed to mixed reactions (“You Imperial bastards!” “Justice!”, etc.). The thief runs away; he is shot by Imperial archers, demonstrating the futility of escape. It’s your turn. The Nord in Imperial armor states you’re not on the list; the Imperial captain doesn’t care and orders you to the block anyway.

You see the headsman’s axe rise up when, as if the gods intervene, a dragon appears and interrupts your execution. In the chaos, you run with the Stormcloaks. The game does not give you the option to run away alone, or with the Imperials; until you meet Hadvar again in the fire and death, you take orders from Ulfric.

Part 3: The Crux

A lot happens in the first few minutes of Skyrim. You’re disoriented from being unconscious, and that’s compounded by your two near death experiences (point 2), the first person you meet is a calm, almost reassuring mouthpiece of exposition while the other side, at best, doesn’t care if you die (points 2 and 3), one major aspect of the plot is revealed (point 1, and the tone is that this is a classic Rebellion story).

And people love rebellion stories. Americans especially; we spend billions on the day when a bunch of white guys said “fuck you” to a bunch of other white guys. With the additional layer of when Skyrim was developed, by who, and in what landscape it was written.. Yeah. There may be two ways to go for the Civil War questline, but for most players (myself included!) their first gut instinct is going to be “side with the guys who didn’t just try to kill me.”

It’s the same song and dance. In Bioshock, your instinct is to trust the Irish guy who wants to help you get out of Rapture alive, but he needs your help first. In Borderlands, your instinct is to trust the woman who is literally called a guardian angel, and she shows her compassion by asking you to help the people of Fyrestone and the poor robot who got hurt in a gunfight. In Metal Gear, your instinct is to shut down the threat because terrorists are evil and these ones are not just terrorists, they’re deserters. Hell, even in other Elder Scrolls games the plot is laid out by helping hands: you’re a prisoner being contacted by your murdered friend, and given the goal to stop Jagar Tharn (Arena), you’re a Blades agent tasked with putting a vengeful spirit to rest that leads you to a weapon that can secure the Empire’s power (Daggerfall), Azura literally tells you not to be afraid, and that you destined to stop an old threat (Morrowind), and a soon-to-be-assassinated Emperor voiced by Actual Grandpa Patrick Stewart recognizes you in a prophetic dream (Oblivion).

Where Skyrim departs from these games, and even the other Elder Scrolls titles, is how much it enforces the first thing you see as solidly good and evil, and how little it tries to subvert that perception. Remember point 2, when the game makes it clear that this person is trustworthy? Therein lies the bread and butter of psychological horror, mysteries, and heart wrenching plot twists: that trust gets tested, and often broken.

The rebel leader Atlas? He’s somehow more evil than Andrew Ryan, and has subtly controlled you the entire time with a command phrase (“Would you kindly..?”). You are unable to stop yourself when you bludgeon Andrew Ryan to death at Ryan’s command. “A man chooses,” he tells you. “A slave obeys.” His final words are him telling you that you are a puppet, only able to obey.

The end of Borderlands reveals that “Angel” was watching you the entire time.. from a Hyperion satellite. You were tricked into opening a Vault holding back a dangerous monster, and you don’t even know why. Borderlands 2 goes further into just what (or rather who) Angel is: a teenage girl and a powerful Siren, used by her own demented, evil, father, Handsome Jack, to manipulate the Vault Hunters and gain more power for himself. Her final mission given to you is simple: she wants you to set her free and end her father’s mad march to power by killing her.

Metal Gear Solid ultimately plays it straight in that you stop the terrorists and disable the nuclear threat, but you don’t emerge from the rubble as an action hero; you’re forced to kill your own brother, the terrorist cell is revealed to be composed almost entirely of people exploited by your organization, and you secretly carry a virus designed to kill the people you were trying to save. War, as it turns out, is not as clear-cut as “we good, they bad”. The people you’ve killed without thinking are your genetic brothers. Sniper Wolf, the assassin who shot your commander’s niece, survived a genocide and has never known a life outside of war. Psycho Mantis’ telepathic gifts were exploited by both the KGB and FBI until he lost his mind. Ocelot is Ocelot.

Oh, but those are other games. What about The Elder Scrolls? Well..

In Daggerfall, your search for hidden correspondence leads you to finding the Mantella, a sort of soul gem that can power the superweapon everyone wants: The Numidium. There are six entities total who want the Mantella, some for their personal gain, one to make a home for his people, and one so he may finally die; the Underking’s soul is in that gem, you see, and he’s been trapped in this misery since the days of Tiber Septim.

In Morrowind, Dagoth Ur recognizes you not as a schlub with a dummy thick journal, but as his oldest and dearest friend. The Empire who guided you for so long? They’ve manipulated you into taking down the Tribunal, destroying the one weapon that could stand against their might, and depending on your interpretation of “then the Nerevarine sailed to Akavir”, have possibly killed you.

And what of everyone’s favorite game in the series to mock? Surprise! Oblivion isn’t even about you, hero! It’s about the actual chosen one, Martin Septim! Sure you can join the Thieves’ Guild and cavort about as Grey Fox, or uncover the traitor of the Dark Brotherhood, or run off and become the Mad God.. but none of those events actually acknowledge you. To be the Grey Fox is to literally be forgotten, by the time the Dark Brotherhood questline is complete there is effectively no more Dark Brotherhood, and to become Sheogorath is to lose yourself entirely. The Hero of Kvatch is one who is ultimately forgotten. Your actions were important, have no doubt, but such is the fate of the unsung hero: they’re not sung about.

Even Arena plays a little bit with your expectations in that the Staff of Chaos alone isn’t enough to stop Jagar Tharn; you need friendship (just kidding it’s a magic gem in the Imperial Palace). Skyrim.. kinda glosses over that. They land a few punches, but for them to stay with you, you have to keep an open mind.

Part 4: Why does that matter?

Because if your expectations are never subverted, your trust never tried in any meaningful way, then your perception of a very specific, spoon-fed worldview is never challenged. The trust you build with a group that is, in essence, a fascist paramilitary cult is never shaken in any way that’s meaningful. You get some lines intended to evoke sadness when you sack Whiterun, but by then it’s too late. Not that it matters; at the end of the Stormcloak questline, there’s not much question about who was in the right. You never lose friends or allies; the Jarls in the holds change, but is there much difference between Idgrod Ravencrone and Sorli the Builder? You might feel a little guilty when you see the Dunmer forced to live in the slums, but then the haughty High Elf says that she didn’t laze around and instead made a name for herself, or the Dark Elf farmer who complains about his snowflake kinsmen harping on about “injustices”. The Argonians seem decent until you meet the skooma addict/thief, and the Khajiit.. let’s just say that even if we disregard the two Khajiit assassins sent to kill you, there exist a lot of extremely harmful stereotypes that none of your friends dispel. They commit no horrific war crimes in your presence, the worst you hear is a Nord (normally a bandit) yell “Skyrim is for the Nords!”, or the clumsy Welcome to Winterhold script where a Dunmer woman is harassed by two Nords; one’s a veteran, by the way. Got run through the chest by an Imperial craven, or so the story goes.

Your only chance to rattle the Nord-driven story is to go against your gut feeling and side with the Imperials (the plotline is pretty weak, not gonna lie), or complete the optional quest No One Escapes Cindha Mine where you see what a Stormcloak sympathizer does to the Forsworn. Even if you complete that quest, the Forsworn still attack you. “They’re savages,” say the Nords, and the game isn’t too inclined to say otherwise.

When it comes to portraying the Nords in any light that’s not negative, Skyrim doesn’t deliver like it did in other games. You saw what life is like in Morrowind under Tribunal rule; it’s not great. The Houses are almost universally awful and they have slaves. You see the destruction in Cyrodiil and hear the rumors on how much the Empire is flailing with the Oblivion Crisis. Hell, even Arena tells you that life in Tamriel kind of sucks, but it’ll suck a little less when Tharn is dead.

That doesn’t happen in Skyrim. You are encouraged to join the sympathetic Stormcloaks, you find out your destiny as Dragonborn, and you set all these things right. Of course you do. You’re a hero, baby. Others have gone on about how storybook the Dragonborn questline is so I won’t go too much in, but that’s it exactly: Storybook. You’re Neutral Good. You’re going to kill the bad dragon that wants to do its job and eat the world.

And that refusal to really examine the nuances and horrors of war, to consider what it means to be a hero that is never morally challenged or forced into a Total Perspective Vortex, to never challenge an extremely biased perspective or even explore its “logical” conclusion?

It leads to extremely dangerous ways of thinking if unchecked.

#lore overanalysis #about my favorite subjects: media studies and skyrim #this is another long one #good god it's long

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violetsystems · 4 years

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#personal

As promised, I am projecting less frustration this morning. I think maybe just because the rhythm of things in my life. I read that ritual during the pandemic has been a reliable coping mechanism for many. I have very small rituals. I get a bowl of Yukejang from down the street on Sundays. Same order. Same price. I tap it into a spreadsheet somewhere in the cloud and plan around it. All the way back in September, I chiseled out a budget for myself to figure out how to weather out this situation. The situation as it is continues to morph and shift towards the edges of chaos. This is why I try to keep things normal through planning and maybe a little ritual. I’ve been writing the same three paragraphs here for too many years for me to count. There are actually people out there who get what I’m saying. Sometimes people just like to read them. Other people just like to skim them. But these rituals kind of keep the element of control over your life in focus. Some rituals can go a little overboard. And sometimes some pandemics can go longer than a year. I try to plan for the future all the same without having much to go on. I know that a vaccine needs to happen first. At this point I won’t see that until earliest June. I’ve been seeing jobs in my salary range but nothing I want to spend the rest of my life doing. I’ve made enough money by myself this year to worry about paying taxes. But it isn’t something I really feel is sustainable. And this is where thoughts start to spiral out of control. Which is what brings me back to rituals. I make it through week to week in probably one of the most bullshit situations by looking forward to things. Broadcasting on Fridays is fun even if nobody watches it live. I’ve learned that creating content for output is more important than worrying about the results. For all the intelligent words I write, a lot of the things that come out of my actual mouth on the fly are incredibly stupid and funny to me. I like that that brings me down to earth somehow. Because most of the time I’m wondering if I’m even visible to the naked eye. You can fade away into your own self doubt even if you seem the most confident and together person. This can happen because the world ceaselessly throws shade. People don’t want you to succeed because it complicates things. Doesn’t fit into whatever plan or main questline you haven’t been briefed on. These days I’ve grown less sensitive to suggestion. I follow my own path and rules no matter what feelings it evokes. And yes I feel a sense of dread more often than not. I feel actual mental pain quite often. And that pain doesn’t come from inside of me or the result of things I do other than work out or ride my bike. The pain is the pressure from society to put it all on you. People out there are just as confused, lost and fearful. To have some sort of closure or something to blame lifts that temporarily. It’s not always true. Paranoia and isolation does that to people. Even to me. So I like to focus on the sacred parts of my life that I’ve kept to myself. And ritual keeps me in a predictable mood. That you keep going on week to week because you’ve created space that you and you alone value.

Sometimes other people value it too. And that gets tricky to manage. It isn’t really in my best interest to be at odds with society all the time. I am a loner mostly because I grew up an only child. But I’ve become a lot less sensitive as a result of whatever crucible of destiny I’ve been forged in. I think sometimes when you walk the path of ritual, it’s easy to stay in your lane. For me, for all these years I’ve been doing pretty much the same exact thing in real life often. Mostly to not cause anyone cognitive dissonance enough to fuck with me. Society is a nightmare anywhere you are it seems. Chicago can be batshit insane. It makes me project that like a mirror sometimes when I’m exhausted. And the things that keep me going aren’t always there front and center to hold my hand. I’m tough enough at this point to take it. But it’s a lot of disappointment to live with. The ritual of having a salaried job working with people who seemed pretty much like they were your friends was disrupted by all this a year ago. I got ghosted. I never really understood why. Over the months, I blamed myself over and over again. And then I started to realize people were hopelessly locked within themselves. They couldn’t communicate anything meaningful so they just decided to let it go entirely. Or I did. Communication to me over the years is funny. Sometimes people say the most to me without saying any words. If you walk away from a job after twenty years and everyone you work with pretends you never existed that’s a message. The opposite is true. If you wake up every morning to cryptic interactions on your phone that probably means something too. If you write three paragraphs every week for three years on the internet to nobody in particular, it’s true somebody will read it. Maybe somebody will even have the reading comprehension to enjoy it. The ritual of it is pretty sacred to me. I think people know me well enough to realize I err on the side of authenticity. I don’t like to betray the things that keep me going. I know how it feels to be betrayed. It sounds so cold saying that. But I’m sure we all know it to a certain degree. Some people get so abandoned that they have no choice but to move forward. And how you keep yourself moving at a regular pace in these times is anybody’s guess. Sanctuary is something more than ritual. It’s a space where you feel safe enough to protect the things that keep you alive. A safe spot to pursue your life, liberty and happiness despite the world’s encroaching bullshit around you. After years of pacing the streets here people have varying opinions of me and my rituals. It’s not the most ideal situation by far. But if anyone knows anything about maintaining sanctuary in one of the world’s most in your face cities, it is me. I’ve been to New York enough to know. Chicago is some sort of nightmare zone mix of both coasts. It’s also still fairly affordable to live. It’s also fairly free enough to go about your business with more than a few stares. People are bored, hungry, and anxious. People are looking for rituals and ideas for their own. And sometimes people cross the line of sanctuary and the holy ground gets smaller. I can’t even take out my trash without a dirty look sometimes. And I have to manage it just the same. When I shut the door and mutter to myself about politics and the government or whatever, nobody comes knocking. Or I’m over it quick enough so nobody does. Kind of like here. The good news is spring is here. I can open up the windows and listen to music alone. I can continue to work on my search for meaningful employment wherever that may take me. I honestly think after all this time someone has better ideas on where I belong.

That somebody has most always had to be me. I had to take the initiative in this entire situation. And it’s become something else entirely. I build rituals around that. Some outdated rituals I retire. Kind of like how I was. I used to travel to New York every couple of months before this all went to shit. I think I may go back this summer for a few days. I don’t really have a solid answer for the future in my head. I’ve had more time to enjoy things. I spend way more time learning how to block in Tekken and it actually becomes a whole new game. I could be harassing people in public and on the internet but I’d rather just keep to myself. I am lonely just like anyone would be in this situation. But people communicate with me just the same. And it’s on me to value it enough to interpret whether it’s worth my time. I keep hearing the president proclaim that July will mark our independence from the virus. It’s ironic. I was let go two days before the fourth last year. Still nursing those wounds as you would expect. Simply because there’s no closure. No acknowledgement of anything. And this is what I’ve had to read into. I’m on my own in this. And then again I’m not. I’ve led myself through an absolute shit show daily. And I’ve maintained sanctuary enough to keep doing it. The rituals and sacred things I hold dear are protected by the reputations I uphold. The moral capital I reserve is the real hard work. Because often I would like nothing other than to go apeshit in the face of all this misunderstanding and hallucinatory bullshit. It’s like being a celebrity and a pariah at the same time. Banging your head against the wall trying to read into everybody’s sudden interest in whatever it is you represent in real time. I don’t really know what people want from me at all. And in some ways it doesn’t matter here in America. This is what I’ve come to realize in some respects about freedom. It’s complex, messy and not easily managed efficiently. And yet no other country in the world has this many layers to navigate. If you hold your ground long enough, nobody dares cross the line. I mean nobody. For as funny, sardonic and self deprecating as I can be, people are still ultimately scared shitless of me. I’ve grown to understand that and work on that as best I can in a bullshit situation. And through that I’ve found that staying true to the things you love and care about require meditation. Self awareness and self care are the only weapons to guide you through a process that is meant to break your individual will. I could blame capitalism. I could blame the government. I could unite and tear down the very fabric of society that has kept me invisible and be forgotten all over again. And then I realize both sides are to blame mostly because nobody is really talking to anyone. Entire political parties acting like they meet you eye to eye on the street when everyone has their head slung down low at every moment of the day. And I’m not exactly interested in inviting more people into my life to violate my already questionable boundaries of privacy. Rituals give us the focus to concentrate on the things that really matter to us. Maybe they help us define what is sacred to us. If people respect that the sanctuary grows. If people challenge, question or hijack the narrative, you write them out of the story. It’s definitely easier to control the pen when nobody is on your back to tell you how to write your dreams. I wholeheartedly want that for everybody. A real sanctuary for people to be themselves. It’s not easy to manage. But where ever I end up I know want thing is true. I will always keep things sacred when it comes to you. <3 Tim

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astroellipse · 4 years

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writing *ranting about ffxiv while I wait for a queue to pop

I was so sad man... I’m just trying to do the Hildebrand questline- it popped in the middle of writing that oh my god.

What I was going to say is that I thought this queue for the quest line’s third trial was going to be 15 minutes like the last two but saw it was instead “more than 30 minutes”, and given the last time I queued for a trial that said that it took two hours, I was a little concerned. To my surprise it popped initially just seven minutes in... until someone backed out. Then I started writing this. Then it popped, I waited half a minute, and someone withdrew again. And a third time immediately after. On the fourth time I actually got in. That was ridiculous. I’ll still continue writing though, since finishing the first Hildibrand saga is a good breaking point.

That was, to be expected, hilarious. A lot of it, anyhow. Some of it just sort of hurt. The funniest moment wasn’t even during the questline, it was during the first trial with Gilgamesh. Both me and the bard were inflicted with confusion and just started blasting each other. Him knocking arrows and all but stabbing them into my forehead, and me casting ruin directly into his eyes at point blank range. That and the getting turned into a frog and getting chased by chickens. Literally nothing can top that encounter for me.

I straight up did not care about the mystery/plot the majority of the time, but I guess I should expect by now that I’ll always enjoy the characters more than whatever mediocre plot they’re tangled in. Just. The Coliseum quests specifically mostly pissed me off. The pervy tentacle monster. The needless racism. The whole thing with painting a poor person wanting to find an easy way to not be poor as undeniably evil which the game KEEPS doing makes me so fucking mad, in combination with stewing about these other themes in JRPGs especially with being all “boo-hoo, won’t anyone thing about how hard it is being rich and noble, all the responsibility, how dare these dirty poors even think about getting revenge on the very people that keep them down.

Why aren’t they just happy with what they do have? They should just put in more work if they want to eat a warm meal, even though we’ve already established there’s no work to be had. Like jesus christ I’d swear some of the shit in this game and others was being written by some 17 year old medieval lordling with too much free time between tutoring sessions. What is these peoples’ obsessions with nobility? Like I get it makes for good fantasy content but have at least a little bit of self consciousness.

I feel like I always see these games acknowledge some kind of class structure and how it negatively effects those in its lowest rungs then shrug it off as “there’s nothing anyone can do about it” and paint the impoverished as villains for being upset with the people that do have the power to change it. Sort of a tangent but this specifically is why I despised and kind of relationship between Dorothea and Ferdinand in Three Houses. She calls him out and rightfully so in the first support, then he makes a batch of pastries completely from scratch one time and this apparently makes her think that all nobles aren’t so bad? Going from straight up not wanting nobles to exist to thinking hey, they’re people too :). I hate that. I hated that FE3H characters were mostly nobles or come from notable/rich families or whatever.

Similarly I hate that FFXIV has such a huge focus on the upper crust and just completely discards and lower-class person. Like, there was a mission where I had to check on some scared refugees and they attacked me in self defense and it made me kill them? And I reported back to the guy who asked me to check on them and he just went “Ah well, what can you do.” Like what the fuck is wrong with these writers sometimes???

I was about to say this was more of an issue with ARR but remembered how the people of the Brume were treated in HW, like a mob of bumbling idiots in desperate need of guidance. What drove me insane the most on that front was when the people were on the brink of revolt after that one girl basically martyred herself, and to remedy this Aymeric decided his order and the grand companies would have their little sparring mach, because nothing sparks patriotism more like sports. Even though this left the city with significantly less protection. And that it was held in an area where not a single citizen could see it. Also, the group the people were supposed to be rooting for was the order of knights and their lapdogs (Hilda’s group) which. just. none of it made sense. It was stupid. This kinda shit makes me afraid to eventually get to Stormblood and into the thick of the Ala Mhigo stuff which they have handled TERRIBLY so far like it boils my blood to think about it. This game is so racist it’s unreal.

but. god. I was talking about the Hildibrand questline. The bit on Costa del Sol was probably the closest I came to caring about the plot, plus it had some pretty good bits. Wasn’t a fan of the big “man in a dress” at the end, though it did make me think that men should be allowed to wear dresses in this game like it would’ve looked fine without the goofy hair and makeup :/ And I completely checked out on whatever that last bit of story was no I do not care that that one girl we’ve been traveling with was the thief all along I have never liked her. Also she played into that class issue I just ranted about. The reveal of her sister was also cheap and stupid. The elezen inspector professing his love for her was also weird? My first thought during that was “jesus christ man she was trying to commit mass mur-” and then I remembered that I/my WoL was crushing on Ysale before she got axed which comes in at #2 for funniest moment in this questline. Him doing that still came out of nowhere save one or two short scenes in separate quests to me.

But I’m exhausted of this now. I might go and start the next saga but I’ll probably go to sleep early... if anything has made me rethink playing past the free trial it’s the shit above but I’ll be honest I am pretty darn likely to cave. I can only hope the writers sorted at least some of their shit out between expansions.

#collecting my thoughts #mmorpg hell

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autumnslance · 5 years

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So I heard they are stream lining the arr quests and Yoshi has shown interest in making a single player 14. So I think once we hit 100 they are going to do it. Wrap up the story then making 14. They will need to adjust several things to make this work which is why i think they are working on fixing the 2.0 questlines. Roadwork for the future.

WoW did it too, though IMO Cataclysm’s ended up a bit clumsy for it; I can guarantee the FFXIV team took a look at the how of that revamp and what worked and what didn’t (as some things in Cata really were needed and great changes; the zone stories stuck in that timeframe, not so much). The other big difference is FFXIV has a linear storyline, while WoW…doesn’t (don’t get me started).

The main fact is ARR is long, especially in the patches. That’s not conducive for new players as the game continues to grow and the level cap rises. That’s the main concern, when trying to get people into an established game when they really want to play with friends already at endgame, but FFXIV has stricter gating than many others, let alone the juggernaut that’s WoW where I can level from 1 to cap in a relatively short time and dive right into current content.

They honestly didn’t expect hard restarting an entire MMO in the span of time usually given to expansions to actually, y’know, work, so there are some definite rough patches and clumsiness, cut corners and shortcuts in coding that have come back to haunt them, and the like. And in some ways it was a lot of holy crap that worked and now we need to actually make expansions?!

I don’t recall anything about a single-player version, though I’d love to be able to Trust my way through the game’s story, and there are places in earlier expansions where that’d be possible to an extent. But changing an MMO into an actual single player I’m not sure would be technically feasible. Besides–FFXI “officially” ended years ago, but is still getting updates here and there, and still has a player base, last I heard.

New Game+ will pretty much allow us to roll ARR solo, though, and that’s another reason they’re revamping, and held off adding ARR to that feature for now. Also that base game is old enough a few tweaks to bring it up to Shadowbringers level in art and technicalities isn’t a bad thing, and necessary for the health of the game.

There are rumors and assumptions aplenty, but I’m happy to wait and see, and appreciate how Yoshi’s team has fewer instances of early announcing details for the hype and then never following through.

For an example of that, all I need say is two words: Dance Studio.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Shadowbringers #A Realm Reborn #New Game+#Naoki Yoshida #World of Warcraft #Cataclysm #revamp #remake #Anonymous

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bloody-fists-beating-hearts · 5 years

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It’s a Fallout76/Bethesda rant

Bethesda just released Fallout 1st, a horseshit pay-to-win subscription system for their absolute cum-bubble of a game, and while it’s getting the flack it deserves there are people already putting on their kneepads so they can gobble down Todd Howards entire turgid cock, and as someone who likes rpg’s way too much this irked me, so have a massive and barely coherent rant i took off the discord because why not.

I want to start off with this: Every good thing about current fallout comes from the fanbase. The stories people tell, the headcanons, the fanfics, the art, everything fans do for it is made with more love, and more thought, than anything Bethesda’s writing and games design team has done in the last 10 years

Now first of all, I haven’t bought or played 76. People are gonna stop me right there and go ”well you haven’t bought it how would you know its bad!!” yeah, I’ve never eaten dog shit either but I can pretty well guess that I ain’t gonna fucking like it.

I knew the second he said "there are no npcs" with actual enthusiasm that this game was gonna be shit. And if you give me 2 seconds to gloat, I never bought the game and I knew this was gonna happen and I was RIGHT so suck my fat hairy nuts all those fanboys who pre-order things mindlessly just because there's a brand name attached to it. If there is anything you take from this its DO NOT PREORDER. BRAND LOYALTY IS FOR BOOMERS AND BOOTLICKERS. FOR FUCKS SAKE BE SMART WITH YOUR MONEY.

Games like this are fucking 80-90 dollars or more in Australia so I actually have to think about whether this momentary distraction is worth almost an entire days paycheck, and I’m still looking for employment which means I actually haven’t bought shit in a while (side note, anyone wants to commission me for 10 dollars I’ll draw damn near anything. God I need to make rent)

Every executive at Bethesda seems to be playing catch-up to EA's monetisation scheme. Beth has abandoned their model of single-player rpg's in favour of a "games as a service" model. Fallout 76 seems to me like its a weird experiment for just how far they can stretch this and still make money. It actually makes me wonder if they are

a) just completely unaware of fanbase response [no idea HOW]

b) are running into financial problems and are doing this out of desperation

c) todd howard is still mad that obsidian made a better fallout than he ever could and he's doing this out of spite

Games as a whole has become much like the movie industry where publishers will throw big buckets of cash around to development teams, and those teams have CEO's and higher ups that throw lavish meet n greets and have nice fancy suits and cars and then treat their development teams like shit, overworking them to the point of exhaustion, because the product has to be on time for release dates that are scheduled to be the most profitable (christmas is a notable one).

And those products are consistently bland, shitty, shallow experiences. Narrative cum-dumpsters that are purposefully made to toe the line as safely as possible, to be open to as wide as an audience as possible so they can make the most money, and Bethesda is a huge offender. Skyrim was fun, sure, but it was watered down to fuck, it had shitty dialogue, it had bland one-note characters, it had a simplified skill system. It was impossible to lose. Seriously, try and fail a fucking quest in skyrim, other than one or two, it's a hand-holder of an rpg, but it has a huge community of fans that put in monumental effort, for free, because they like the Elder Scrolls, and they like the world bethesda made.

Then Bethesda goes "hey, that watered down thing we made got huge! lets release it about 12 more fucking times, with some of the SAME bugs, with the SAME content, with the SAME limitations and Yes, we absolutely expect you to pay for it, again. Then they release the remastered edition which, to their credit, is free to anyone who already bought the legendary edition (on PC), and does actually have updated 64bit capability and some graphical enhancements (that aren't anywhere near what some goober in his basement cooked up in his spare time, but whatever). Then, seeing that Skyrim was so popular, with kids especially, and made money, they turn their sights to fallout 4, a game that was so anticipated that someone made a fake countdown and caused a small meltdown on tumblr/social media when it was revealed to be fake (i was part of that fiasco, i remember the hype, i was there goddamnit)

So Fallout, a franchise that literally has its theme as its FUCKING TAGLINE, an ADULT game that is equal parts crude, gory and humorous. A game that satirises the cold war era of american my-country-tis-of-thee blind loyalty and openly mocks the way war was idealised, and shows that not even the literal end of the world could either stop humanity's lust for blood or its desire for conquest. Games that showed you the growth of the world - from shady sands to the NCR, from the vault dweller to arroyo, shit actually happened in the games, the world didn't just stop turning when the bombs dropped. A game where you you become a porn star for fucks sake, and it's funny.

So Bethesda sees that, makes something like it (fallout 3) which is good, but a little rough around the edges when you look at it too hard. But the way they suck you into the vault, the way they build a relationship with your dad and your way of life is immersive as fuck, so when you leave the place you actually feel like you're leaving something important, not just finishing the tutorial

then they outsource a Fallout game to obsidian, because hey, we saved your franchise by buying it off you, but if you can make an entire game in one year and get a metacritic score of 85 we'll even throw in a bonus. And fuck me sideways and in the ear, if the obsidian devs didn't work themselves harder than a 4-armed hooker. And they made a game that on release was a clusterfuck of bugs, because they were given an unrealistic time limit and missed the metacritic score by ONE POINT so bethesda goes "nhey heh sucks to suck" and fucks them off the franchise forever. EXCEPT (and I admit I'm biased here) the game is good. The game is actually really good when you remove those bugs, and people start forming attachments to it, and mentioning how bad fallout 3's writing is by extension.

So Todd and Co. in his infinite wisdom, decide that the only thing a fallout rpg needs is 50s aesthetic and fuck all else, and he releases a game so watered down it can't even be called an rpg. And its not. There are no skills. There are barely any dialogue checks. Instead of dialogue, Nate/Nora is a flat, samrish individual that is either "yes sir right away sir may i have another", "yes but i'm gonna make an unfunny quip about it" "this option pretends to say no but its gonna give you the quest marker anyway".

The game drops any pretence of difficulty by giving you a deathclaw, a minigun and some power armour in the first 10 minutes, allowing you to effectively reach late-game power levels with some minor scavenging for ammo or cores. Then the game ropes you into some inter-faction war that realistically you wouldn't give a shit about, because some spud in a cowboy hat fucking deputizes you into a military general because you shot like 4 raiders from a rooftop (with a minigun. in power armour. making you nigh-invulnerable to bullets). You're sad about your son about 3 times the whole game and then you're on your merry way to mowing down humans left right and center without a care in the world. God fallout 4's writing is so stupid it gives me an aneurysm.

Remember the part about resources wars and america only having the veneer of a strong country while riots, inflation, and resource shortages tore it apart from within? Bethesda doesn't, have an eerily stepford pastel coloured glimpse at a world that was totally fine, nothing wrong here, shame it got nuked oh well moving on

Your spouse? yeah you love them, they're said 2 whole sentences to you then they died, be sad because you totally loved them and it is totally sad that they are dead. Your weird play-dough son shaun, you love him so much, you even tickled him on the chin once, okay he's gone off you go to chase him - woah now, don't chase him too hard we have all these side quests for you to do! What would be the narrative reasoning for a supposedly distraught parent to fuck around boston instead of finding their goddamn child? fuck knows! just go pick up some goddamn wood and get to base building sonny-jim!

Companions? yeah, they're fun, we gave them a romance questline and it's thus: if you pick enough locks and pass a minor charisma check maccready will be ready and willing to tell you about his sick child, and then he'll ride you like a stallion. Talk to him like, 4 times, and he will be your bosom buddy for life in about 3-5 days if you just pick locks like a fucking madman, because character growth is hard and counting beans is easy.

Also your son is a part of the faction we were talking about! something about synths, remember that one questline from rivet city that barely anyone actually remembers and was an interesting time waster at best? Well get ready to do that same quest but about! 15! more! times! because we could not think of anything else to write about synthetically produced humans that assume peoples identities other than having them as a hamfisted metaphor for slavery. Why do they take over people's identies? Well because the institute needs them to aasdkfjdh kshshshsh t9oe of course.

Speaking of hamfisted metaphors, here's the underground railroad, named after the underground railroad that actually mattered, except this time its the same thing but synths. They are so top secret that the only way to find them is to follow the only bright red line in a street that is exclusively green-brown otherwise, and then enter their super secret password, which is "password"

They are then, like every other faction, absolutely willing to trust you, at face value, no questions asked, because have to actually do something or require a skill check might make this hard for people under the age of 12 to play. Then you go do whatever fuckin shit you do, I stopped playing at this point, and then you find out your son is actually 60, you guys have a tearful, 10 sentence reunion, then he diesthe whole reason you were out here in the first place dies, and you react appropriately, which is to say you say his name really sadly, and then go back to mowing down raiders with reckless abandon

And then 76 gets released, bethesda drops all pretense of fallout still being an rpg. You want a story? Fuck you, pay up. Its retro future and thats all that makes falloutSatirizing war mongering? You can nuke things in this game and its totally fine, its actually the goal, because fallout has nukes in it right? Pay us 10 dollars and you get army olive drab spraypaint because hurrgh war is fun and great, wasnt that the tagline from the first game?The more i rant the more angry i am because people put their heart and soul into writing this. The lore and dialogue is actual work that someone researched and loved and felt proud of and now it's becoming a hilariously meta parody of itself.

Honestly FUCK bethesda and and fuck todd howard for his pisspoor cash grab. Not even worth calling it a video game anymore

#good lord what is happening in there #meta #listen i fucking love fallout #but this aint fuckin it chief #fallout #fallout 4 #fallout 76 #fallout 3 #fallout new vegas

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