#the line is from my brother saying that i come from the 60s

[ughgoaway]

playing on my mind

content warnings: swearing, referring to Matty as tall (look we all lie for plot purposes okay), dilf Matty and rushed writing... i think that's it? word count- 3.3k ish

a/n: woah this was quick but I am nothing if not impulsive!! this is just a one-shot but if y'all want a series I might do one?? idk it depends on how inspired I am lol. but yes this is just my little blurb-thing from yesterday fleshed out into an actual story!! I'm so glad people liked the idea, I hope this doesn't disappoint <333

(I didn't proofread this so I apologise if its utterly shit </3)

“And off you go! If you need your pencils sharpened or help, make sure you raise your hand! I’ll come to see you!” You say to the group of 30 little balls of energy in front of you. 60 eyes looking up at you might seem intimidating to most, but when it's a hyperactive group of 5-year-olds; the fear wears off slightly.

It was family tree week in your classroom, and you had given your little ones the usual task of drawing their family, each set up with pieces of paper and various pencils and pens to create their masterpieces. Seeing them smile and talk about their older sisters and brothers or how much they love their parents always warmed your heart. 

You originally got into teaching with every intention of working with teenagers. You were sure you shouldn't be moulding such young minds - you were never sure your mind was a very good example. But one test week in a year 1 classroom changed your outlook entirely. Seeing the pure, unadulterated joy on a young child's face was something beyond comparison. 

Getting to watch them grow and develop into little people brought you so much happiness that it could never compare to standing in front of a group of grumpy teenagers. Each teen boy clearly trying to get you over to their desk to “flirt” with you, well as much firting as a 15-year-old boy can do.

Seeing a child come out of their shell, make friendships, and discover their passions made your heart warm in a way nothing else did. So as soon as you qualified you jumped at the opportunity to teach these little ones, this class might be your first but you are sure it will always be your favourite.

And of course, despite what every teacher tells you, they have a favourite student. You were adamant when you began that you really wouldn't have a favourite but then little Annie Healy came bounding into your classroom with a mop of curly hair, untamable energy and the cutest slightly wonky smile you've ever seen. 

She very quickly stole your heart, always wanting to tell you stories and going off on tangents rather quickly, organising tea parties but soon getting distracted leaving you at a small table surrounded by teddy bears giving a toast. Her little body seemed to be filled with enough energy to power the world 3 times over, and you couldn't love her anymore. The idea that she would be leaving your class broke your heart every time you thought about it, despite people telling you not to get attached - you did,

You had just settled at your desk after explaining for the 4th time to Zach that sticking pencils up our noses isn't a very good idea. You ended up telling him if he pushed too far, he'd touch his brain, and soon after that, the pencils stayed firmly in his hand rather than up any nose. If any student was the problem child, it was him. You couldn't hate any student, but let's just say he's given you one too many impromptu haircuts this year to be in line for your favourite.

Soon your real favourite student stuck her arm into the air and wiggled it around in an attempt to get you to see her sooner, little Annie Healy was ever impatient- a trait that is only endearing on her. You quickly nodded and started wandering over, trying not to laugh at her large toothy grin back at you.

“Hi sweetheart, do you need some help?” you say, crouching down to her eye level, flashing a sweet smile.

“Hi miss y/n!” she began, her eyes flittering around your face before landing on your hair, and soon, her hands were stroking your head.

“Wow! I like your hair! It's got sparkly clips in it! You know I asked my daddy for some like that, and he said-” you gently placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to stop the tangent before it started. You knew she'd somehow end up keeping you there for 20 minutes, giving you a detailed list of all of her Barbie dolls and their jobs if you didn't redirect her quickly enough.

“Thank you, Annie! I saw your arm wiggling in the air earlier. Did you need some help?” her eyes light up as she remembered why she called you over here.

“Oh! Yeah, I want to write what's in my daddy’s hands, but I don't know how to spell it. Will you help me?” she says, bringing her attention back to her drawing and grabbing the black pencil to continue her work. It's the first time you actually looked at her drawing, and to say you were concerned would be an understatement.

Most drawings of family consist of the same basic elements; a mum, a dad, a sun in the corner, and a house that is wildly disproportionate to everything else.

So imagine your surprise when you look down to see 4 men in what seems to be leather jackets, holding various musical instruments, and a very tall dog next to them.

You blink a few times. Just checking what you're seeing is right. The lineup starts with a tall man holding a guitar, next to a slightly shorter man also holding a guitar with a mess of black scribbles on his head. Next up is a very tall man with drumsticks in his hands and a kit behind him, and finally another very tall man with a beard and a bass. The concern briefly melts away as you consider how impressive it is she knows the difference. In the bottom left corner is a black dog with very long legs and a big pink tongue sticking out, the dog was almost as tall as the first man but you're aware kids aren’t known for their skill with proportion.

No one had prepared you for this in teaching school, there was never a lecture about what to do if one of your kids does a mildly troubling family drawing of 4 men in leather jackets and a horse dog. You try to stutter a response to Annie, but no real words are leaving your mouth. Just a jumble of sounds, each one sounding more confused and stressed than the last.

You flash a look at her only to be met with a confused head tilt and sad eyes. Oh god. She thought you hated her drawing. Shit.

Time for damage control.

You make the decision then and there not to ask her about the details of her drawing, desperately trying not to make her cry. 

Maybe you could go and see her mum in the playground? Yes, that's what you'll do. You'll walk her out, have a brief discussion with Mum, and make sure Annie knows her family isn't 4 men in a band and then leave her be. That sounds like the professional thing to do.

You take a deep breath and smile at Annie, and soon her downturned lips flashed that cheesy grin you knew so well. You tighten your hand on her shoulder and grab a pen, ready to help her any way she needs. 

“Do you mean the word ‘guitar’ Annie?” she gives you an excited nod as you continue speaking, “Ah yes, that's a really hard word for even grown-ups to spell. Let's work it out together, hmm?”

With your mind racing you help her sound it out and label her drawing, even stopping to sharpen her black colouring pencil for her- there's a lot of black for young girls drawing but she's committed to an aesthetic, and part of you respects that.

On the walk back to the desk, you begin practising your speech in your head, trying to figure out how to ask why she’s drawing a band as her family without unknowingly offending mum. Maybe she just really likes music?

You run through your memories trying to think of her mentioning a band before, but nothing comes to mind, Annie doesn't even stay on track long enough to talk about her family. Always seeing something shiny and discussing that instead. 

You flick your eyes to her one more time just to see her animatedly talking with another little girl on her table, her hands gesticulating wildly and her curls bouncing as she tells her story.

The sight calms you slightly, seeing the little girl you know so well acting exactly as she should be. You have the fleeting thought that you might be overreacting, but eventually, you collect the drawings to see Annie had dated her work “1975”. Yup, that discussion with her parents was definitely happening.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bell rings, and you manage to catch Annie just before she runs off into the playground without you, “Hi Annie! I have your drawing from today. Should we show it to mummy and daddy together?” her eyes light up as her curls bounce from her excited nods. 

You walk hand in hand out onto the playground, crouching down you make eye contact with Annie before asking, “Can you point out your mum or dad Annie?”

She nods and begins scanning the playground. You stifle a laugh at the look of concentration on the young girl's face. Her nose is scrunched along with her eyebrows, one hand pulling at a curl by her ear and the other holding yours. Soon, you see her face brighten, and her eyes fill with joy. 

“DADDY!!” is the scream that comes from the little girl as her hand shoots from her head to point to the corner of the playground, she starts dragging you before you even look up but as you do, you feel your heart drop.

As a student teacher, you'd definitely seen some hot dads, but they were still dads. Most were slightly creepy, partially balding, and talked about nothing but golf and their “annoying” wives. You were used to that kind of dad, not exactly this kind.

Standing nonchalantly in the corner of the playground was a tall man. A pile of salt and pepper curls sat on top of his head; untamed but effortlessly and obnoxiously cool. The white t-shirt he was wearing did nothing to hide the patchwork of tattoos that snaked up his arms. The low neck of the top even teased the top of his chest tattoo. Sunglasses sat on his face, they gave him an "I'm too cool" rocker vibe that, for some unknown reason, made you dizzy.

In one hand, he had a lit cigarette, something that was not allowed on school property, but the way his cheeks hollowed as he took a drag had you forgetting that rule completely. He dropped the butt of the cigarette to crush it with his heavy boots before taking a sip of the can of coke that was in his other hand. 

As he noticed you coming over, a dazzling smile broke out on his face. You felt your knees weaken as you tried to brush off how hot he was. 

You then realised you actually had to speak to this man. Fuck. You're not sure you even have a voice currently. If you opened your mouth, you're sure incoherent noises would come out, followed by wild hand motions trying to explain your insane behaviour.

The closer you got, the less you stared at him, feeling too intimidated to keep looking in his direction. This did mean you almost tripped 3 times, but you would rather fall than risk making eye contact with this intimidatingly attractive man.

Annie dropped your hand as you finally reached the man, and she jumped into his arms. He grunted at the force but soon began pressing kisses all over her face, smiling at her uncontrollable giggles.

Quickly, the man noticed your presence and stuck a hand out to introduce himself, “Hi! Sorry about that, you know what it's like when kids miss you. I’m Annie’s dad, Matty.” 

And this is where a normal person would introduce themselves, stick their hand out, and shake Matty’s. Maybe even say their name and start talking, but oh no. Not you. You stood there motionless and just said “Matty” breathlessly to yourself 3 times over.

Time dragged on in the 10 seconds Matty stood there with his hand out. If you weren't aware of how time worked, you would swear you stood there in stilted silence for 10 minutes. 

By some grace of god, little Annie Healy saved you and introduced you, “Daddy. This is Miss y/n. She wanted to come and show you my drawing." 

Matty retracted his hand and pushed the sunglasses that sat on the bridge of his nose up to his mess of curls, just as wayward as his daughters. His deep brown eyes met yours as he tilted his head questioningly at your behaviour. His smile remained wide at you, his tongue swiped over his bottom lip, and you felt your heart stutter. A litany of inappropriate thoughts swirling through your mind.

He quickly diverted his attention back to his daughter, “Oh really munchkin? Is your drawing just that amazing? Is Miss y/n going to send it to all the museums?” he said whilst tickling her sides. You smiled at the pair of them watching Annie throw her head back with erratic laughter. 

Finally, you manage to right yourself and begin speaking, “Right. Sorry about that, long day,” you explain, looking apologetically at Matty, who only nodded and tried to hide his widening smile at your flustered state. 

“I'm just here to talk about Annie's drawing,” you pause briefly and look at Annie in her dad's arms. Not wanting to disappoint her, you form a plan in your mind. “Hey Annie, why don't you go practise some hopscotch! I'm just going to have a quick chat with your dad, okay?”

Before you’d even finished your sentence, Annie was wiggling out of her dad's arms and running off.

“She's got endless energy that one hasn't she?” you say wistfully, staring off in the direction she ran, watching her jump around and giggle with some of her friends.

“Ah like father like daughter, I suppose” Matty says, grinning at your clear love for his little girl. He feels his heart warm at your caring eyes. “So what seems to be the issue? I'm sure you're not over here because the Louvre has asked for Annie’s drawing?” 

You laugh at Matty's joke, perhaps a little too hard. Nervous laughter was one of your less attractive traits, but you try to shake it off and have an actual adult conversation with Matty. 

“Ah no, no phone calls from Paris yet,” you begin laughing lightly, you pull out Annie's drawing and pass it over to Matty and start to analyse his reaction as you finish speaking, “I was just coming over to ask why Annie's family portrait is seemingly a band? I wanted to make sure she knows her family isn't 4 tall men in leather jackets and a surprisingly tall horse dog.”

As you finish your sentence, Matty bursts out in hysterical laughter, folding over as his chortling laughter takes over his whole body. Your face scrunches up at his reaction, your eyebrows are pinched, and a small frown overtakes your features. 

Eventually, Matty catches his breath and looks up at you only to realise how strange his reaction appears. His hand shoots up to your arm and begins to stroke it lightly as he attempts to explain himself.

Each featherlight stroke of his fingers made your breath hitch. You felt your eyes fogging over, and your ears felt as if they were stuffed with cotton wool, the surrounding sounds suddenly becoming muted.

A shake of your head brought you back to earth as you fought to focus on the words Matty was saying.

“Oh I'm so sorry, once you know the story you’ll understand my reaction” Matty began explaining with wide apologetic eyes, “basically Annie's mum isn't in the picture, it's just me and my 3 best friends,” he said smiling.

You lightly laugh and say, “Ah I'm assuming they are the man with the guitar, the one with the bass and the other with the drumsticks?” You finish with a teasing tilt of your head.

Matty's fingers encircle your wrist as that smile you've quickly grown to love appears on his face once again at your teasing.

“Yes those are the ones. You see we’re all in a band - hence all the instruments. I always tell Annie that Uncle George, Ross, and Adam are our family. So when you asked for a family drawing...”

“She drew her family!” You finish his sentence for him, staring at his hand and holding your wrist as you do. He quickly drops it, and you curse yourself for bringing it to his attention.

You wrap your arms around your stomach protectively in an attempt to hide your mounting embarrassment.

Matty smiles and starts to speak again, only to be interrupted by you, “Wait I understand that, but why did she date it ‘1975’?”

Somehow, Matty's smile grew again, “Our band is called the 1975. Weird, I know, but it comes from me being young and pretentious with a Jack Kerouac book.”

Before you could respond, Annie came bounding over and wrapped herself around her dad's leg, “Dadddd” she complained, pulling out the last letter to announce her annoyance to the world.

“Annieeee” Matty teased back in the same tone as her, picking her up as he did.

“Can we go home now? I want to see mayhem!!” she said, excitedly clapping her hands as she finished.

You shoot Matty a questioning look, and he quickly answers your silent query, “the horse dog” he says teasingly, parroting your earlier words back at you.

“Okay darling, let's get going then,” Matty says with a grunt, putting Annie down, grabbing her hand, and taking her backpack from her.

“Say bye to miss y/n Annie,” he says, smiling sweetly at you, but you can see the mischief brewing in his eyes.

His eyes keep your attention so long you almost miss Annie's sweet goodbye, “bye miss y/n! See you tomorrow! Can we talk about your sparkly clips tomorrow?” she asks with a tilt of her head.

“Of course, little miss Annie!” You say smiling at the young girl. You focus solely on her in an attempt not to get lost in her father's eyes again.

You watch them walk away but after a few steps they pause, Matty turns over his shoulder and waves with his free hand, “Bye miss y/n” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice and a flirty wink.

Before you can even process what just happened, he's strolling away casually, and all the mums in the playground are silently lusting after him.

A heavy breath leaves your chest as you start to watch him leave.

“Isn't he gorgeous” a voice behind you whispers, causing you to jump and let out a small scream. You hold a hand to your chest and look at your colleague with wild eyes.

“Oh my god, Amanda, please do not sneak up on me like that! I'm fragile” you say, now laughing at your ridiculous reaction.

“Sorry, sorry,” she begins giggling, “but isn't he just so hot? Annie was in my class last year, and I used to count down the days until parent’s evening! I mean, who wouldn't want to sit across a desk from a man who looks like that?” Amanda says, wiggling her eyebrows flirtatiously.

She begins to teasingly poke your sides at your awkward silence, and you quickly brush her off and straighten up, “Amanda! You can't talk like that about a parent!” You say, trying and failing to have any conviction in your voice.

“I can when the parent looks like that!” she says, smiling and watching Matty stroll away.

You huff at her behaviour and walk away, desperate to sit down and process what just happened.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your desk chair squeaks as you sit down behind your desk. You spin the chair and pick up a pen to begin marking some spelling tests from last week, but before long, you give up.

Staring off into space with endless thoughts poisoning your mind, only one thing can come out of your mouth. 

“fuck."

[azsluttyslut]

Born to die

Azriel x f!reader

TW: blood, violence, angst, fluff, near death experience.

Word count: 3883

Azriel POV

-Flashback-

Feet don't fail me now

Take me to the finish line

Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take

But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine

He was corner there was no fucking scape, but all he could think about was that least his mate was safe, his only comfort at the moment, lovely (Y/N), always so sweet and caring. “It had my absolute honor to had been with her for the last 60 years” he thought to himself still fighting for his life.

The tried to fight as best as he could, the trained for situations like this his whole life, so he pushed himself harder, Azriel's only goal to see his mate at leat one more time, she deserves to know how much he love, his absolute everything. So that’s what he did, and killed soldiers under Koschie command left and right, but there was no point, they were everywhere and he was losing power, strength and he was so fucking exhausted, this was a losing game. That was until he felt a surge of power, he have never experienced that much power, not even from his brother and High Lord.

It was astonishing how can that blast killed every soldier around him, he himself wasn’t sure how he survived, it was like they melted, all the gore of the soldiers that were surrounding him was everywhere it was a a goo of blood, skin and bones. When Azriel turn around to see who was the person that save him, he couldn’t believe his eyes, his beautiful mate was there, she has never told Azriel about her powers, he never pushed her too afraid to say the wrong thing, she just told him that it brought bad memories and it was her trauma to bear. But watching her use her powers just so she can save Azriel it made him love her even more and for a moment it brought him this sense of peace, it was as if the Mother told him that everything was going to be okay, that this moment even as short as it was, was just one of many to come.

But that sense of peace went as quickly as it came. Because the moment he took a step forward to reach her, in a blink of an eye there was a one of the enchanted soldiers behind here, and before he can voice that, a fucking sword with faesbane was passing through her stomach and the feeling of pain he feel through the bond brought him to his knees and he scream, and scream, and in pure act of willingness only fuel by his anger he killed all around his path until he got to her, screaming and cursing the Mother for being so cruel moments. And then everything went black.

It could be days, or months he didn’t care how much time it passed since he last was conscious, not after the moment he woke up and everything came crashing down. He tried to reach for the bond but the was nothing. Not even his shadows were with him. He didn’t know to much time passed until Rhys came to the healing chambers to check on Azriel.

“Hello Brother, I'm happy to see you finally awake” he just stared at him blankly,the numbness consumed every finer of his body, he knows Rhysand went through the same but at least Feyre came back, instead he watch his mate died, he felt the pain and sure as hell he still feels the void in his chest, his very soul were once was a gold thread, full of love, joy and fulfilment. And as if reading his mind that Azriel is almost sure he did, he says “ she’s not dead, brother”.

-End of the flashback-

Walking through the city streets

Is it by mistake or design?

I feel so alone on the Friday nights

Can you make it feel like home if I tell you you're mine?

It's like I told you, honey (louder)

It’s been a month since the day Azriel woke up, and you are still unconscious, Rhys told him his shadows haven’t left you sight, that brought him a bit of confort. The loneliness consumed his already tormented soul, he never felt this alone in his life, not even when he was a child in the care of those bastards.

Madja doesn’t know when you are going to wake up, but they are sure you will, maybe they are saying that just to make him feel better, he doesn’t know at this point, the void that is the bond wights on him everyday, they won the war but he just feels lost.

Rhys encourage him to seek help with one of Madja's mental health healers, they told him that maybe if he does things that you both used to do together would make him feel better, but walking around Velaris without you it makes him feel empty. Not even your house in the suburbs feels like home, that’s where he made you his, when he devoted himself to you, and the memories are too much, too unbearable without you.

•1 week later•

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough

And the road gets tough, I don't know why

Keep making me laugh

Let's go get high

The road is long, we carry on

Try to have fun in the meantime

The memories haunt Azriel like a plague everyday, all the laughs you share, the kisses, the all nighters, both of you getting drunk and high because you were bored. The memories playing in his head stopped the moment he felt the golden thread, all this time it’s has been a dim almost white, a white that made him feel hopeless, but right now it’s recovering color as if you were healing and recovering consciousness.

The tears blinded his eyes and the sob of relief that leaves his mouth, his entire body shook with the force of the sobs. He couldn’t stop the only thoughts running through his mind was “Y/N is waking up”, but even if that was true he could bring himself to go to see you. He couldn’t make himself be hopeful, and knew the only people that could help were his brothers.

Rhys! Rhys! RHYS!! BRING CASSIAN!

Rhysand appeared within seconds with Cassian in tow ready to attack, nothing would prepared them for the sight that greeted them. Azriel looked like a fallen angel, with tears streaming down his cheeks, face blotchy, red eyes, trembling body and slumped wings.

“Are you okay?” Cassian ask his voice frantic, searching for anything, they have never seen ghe shadowsinger like this, in all the years of friendship, he has never been the emotional friend, the only time Azriel cried beside when he was a kid was when Rhys came home form under the Mountain. He still remembers the grief of losing his brother and not been able to do anything to help. But that pain was minuscule compared to the thought and feeling of losing you.

“Az what’s happening? You are scaring us” Cassian voice make Azriel snaps out of his grieving thoughts, the tears and sobs don’t stop, he can bring himself to stop feeling.

“T-the bond” the sobs that leaves his mouth shooks his whole body, not even been able to form coherent sentence, the warlord and the high lord look at each other without knowing what to say, not knowing how to approach this topic.

“What about the bond” Rhys ask carefully, too carefully to the spymaster liking, but he doesn’t care, he feels the bond recovering it’s power, it makes his soul mend just a fraction.

“It- it’s not dim anymore” Both males sigh in relief “Rhys, I need you to check her, I-I can’t, I can’t get my hopes up, please” Rhysand gives Azriel a court nod and his gaze become distant, meaning that he’s asking Feyre. After about 10 minutes that felt like an eternity, Rhys has a small smile while looking at his broken brother. Stepping closer so he can comfort him while explaining what Feyre told him.

“She’s regaining consciousness, Madja said any of this days she would be awake again” After that the shadowsinger didn’t stopped crying of relief until he feel asleep. Cass and Rhys stayed the night, making sure that Adriel was okay.

-Flashback-

Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane, so (louder)

Choose your last words, this is the last time

'Cause you and I, we were born to die

The night before the last battle it was raining, while you and your mate were at your tent, cuddle up.

“Let’s take a walk” Y/N said with those (e/c) eyes that the spymaster love to get lost in. And he knew he could never say no to those eyes while they look at him as if he’s the only person on earth, Azriel always tends to agree to whatever you wants, this time it wasn’t any different. He loves the spontaneous things you do, sometimes some of the things you wants to do border insanity, but he loves every aspect of his mate. So without a thought he took your hand while leading you outside.

“Angel be careful it’s raining, I don’t want you to get sick” the shadowsinger said, he knows fae don’t get sick easily but he always worry about you. Your only response was only a snort of laughter, and oh boy! how he love that sound.

“Az, you know as well as I do, fae don’t get sick easily, why don’t we dance in the rain, and just listen to the pattern of the rain” Your eyes glowed with joy as you looked at him expectantly, he didn’t hesitate in taking your hand and dragging you until we are chest to stomach, while you start to sway with his hands on your hips and yours around his neck, with your head laid on Azriel chest.

The shadowsinger couldn’t stop watching you, admiring more likely, he didn’t take his eyes away even while they were swaying to the sound of the rain and the latter soaking your clothes, but after some time he couldn’t contain himself and kissed you as hard as he could pouring all his love and devotion he feel for you, sending it through the bond and through the kiss. After that you two went back to the tent, drop the wet clothes and he showed you how much he loves you throughout the night.

But in the morning the bubble you’d encompass yourselves in exploded, because of how Rhys made the strategy for the last battle.

“Azriel I don’t care if Rhysand gave you the order or not, you will not be standing in the fucking front lines, I swear to the mother you cross that tent and…” Yelling got you nowhere with Adriel Y/N knew that as much, but even then he could still see the fear you held of the idea of him on the front. But his anger overpowered his common sense.

“Or what? Are you going to do what? (Y/N) this is for the best, I know how to protect myself, I know my limit. This is for our future, so yes I’m going to cross that tent because this is who I am, this is who was raised to be, born to be, if I have to die there knowing that you are safe, then my mission is done” and without another word he left the tent, your tent were his mate was left crying.

But to Azriel's saddened heart in middle of the battle he realized you never gave each other the kiss before battle, it was a non spoken deal between the two, it was their “I’ll be waiting for you to come back, please come back”. But it was too late, and the words exchange between the two in those last moments left a bitter taste on Azriel's tongue.

-End of the flashback-

Y/N POV

•1 week later•

Lost but now I am found

I can see that once I was blind

I was so confused as a little child

Tryna take what I could get

Scared that I couldn't find

All the answers, honey (louder)

My body feels like it’s on fire, I can’t even open my eyes, every nerve, every muscle in my body hurts, is this the after life? I thought that when you died you don’t feel any pain. But oh gods! I feel like I was crushed under a fucking mountain. Cauldron fucking boil me alive! The only thing that I feel apart from the agonizing pain in my body are the scattering caresses of what I think are Az's shadows.

A groan leaves my lips, as I tried my hardest to open my eyes to the blinding light that comes from the window, as if sensing my discomfort almost all of the shadows surround the room in darkness, while the others hurried vanished out of the room to probably alert Azriel and the inner circle. I don’t remember what happened, my last memory was the night before battle that me and mate dance in the rain, followed up to have the most tender and loving sex with Az. I feel so lost, with so many questions.

The sound of hurried footsteps getting closer bring me back from my scattering thoughts, a second later my beautiful mate appears in all his glory, but he looks terrible, not in a bad way, Azriel is the most gorgeous male I’ve ever seen, he couldn’t be ugly even if he tried. But there are circles under his eyes as if he hasn’t sleep in forever, his cheekbones are more prominent and he looks like he lost some pound and muscle. What the hel happened?

He looks frantic throughout the room as if some broke in, but that is until his gaze land on me. He lunges himself at me while breaking down with sobs. I tried to move to comfort him but my body is not cooperating. Not even my voice is functioning. Azriel's sobs break my heart and I think he feels it because he looks and me with tears in his eyes.

“You are alive” he looks at me as if he hasn’t seen me in years “you are okay” he repeats the same thing as mantra, as if trying to convince himself this is real. I tried to speak but no words come out. He sense this and rushes to bring you a glass of water, you gulp it down and the refills it again and again until your throat doesn’t feel like sand anymore.

“Hello my love” my voice comes out scratchy like I haven’t used it in a long time, at the pet name my mate's eyes fill with tears again. “what happened?”

“I promise, I’m going to tell you anything you want to know, baby, but I need to alert Madja you are awake, okay?” He caress my hair, my face touching everything part of me that he can, I’m able to give him a small nod, while his eyes become distant probably telling Rhys to call Madja.

Madja came ask questions while checking my body, always questioning where it hurts, what’s the last I remember, and told me not ask what happened, that my memories will be back in time, and asking would affect the currency of them, after a while she gave strict orders to all my family that I’m to stay in bed for at least a week more, that I need to regain my energy and my weight, and not to exhaust myself, while also giving Azriel some viles that help with the pain.

The week I was in bed all my family make sure I was taken care of, even Amren took care of me, that was weird, I’ve never seen her be so soft with someone, and that includes Varian, Mor and Feyre were as usual always fussing about anything I needed, Cassian and Rhys always made sure I was comfy enough and bringing me gifts and food, Cassian brought me a lot of books, courtesy of Ness, and sometimes Nests came to check up on me. And Azriel well he never left my side and when he did he made sure to leave his shadows with me even if he was to leave one minute.

Elain is another story altogether, since she was made, she took a liking to my mate, I don’t blame her Az is the sweetest most precious soul that I’ve ever known and because of that he indulged her, not intentionally, he just wanted to help her getting used to her new life, which gave her the impression that he was interested, and when she tried to make a move and he rejected her, she almost attacked me, blaming me that I stole Azriel for her. And while her sisters were on my side, they couldn’t let her sister's side either. Since then my relationship with the Acheron middle sister is non existent.

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough

And the road gets tough, I don't know why

Keep making me laugh

Let's go get high

The road is long, we carry on

Try to have fun in the meantime

After I was given the good to go by Madja, Az help me with training, giving me small exercises to regain strength, while always making sure I was okay and drinking enough water. I tried to talk to him about what happened with me, but every time I tried it was fruitless, is like all his walls shot up and he becomes a shell of himself, he has nightmares most nights and when he wakes up he makes sure I’m breathing and then proceeds to hold me tight trough out the night.

Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane, so (louder)

Choose your last words, this is the last time

'Cause you and I, we were born to die

As Madja said the memories will be recovered with time, they did and I remember everything, the night before battle, the fight before battle and the moment I saved my mate for being killed to me being stabbed by a faesbane coverd sword. And even though I remember all the traumatic events, one thing is echoing in my head. Azriel last words before battle “…this is who I am, this is who was raised to be, born to be, if I have to die there knowing that you are safe, then my mission is done” it’s like he thinks himself as a weapon, he always did, but I thought we were past that.

“Love, are you okay?” Azriel’s melodic voice breaks through my thoughts, making me snap my eyes to his hazel almost gold eyes. His scarred fingers wipe gently my under eyes, I didn’t know I was crying until that moment.

“Az, do you still see yourself as a weapon?” I look straight into his eyes, but when he adverts his eyes, I got my answer. “You know, we talked about that for years, I thought that you didn’t see yourself that way anymore” I say gently.

“I know, trust me I know, but when the war began and everything happened, my only thought was that I have to keep you safe, and if that means be a weapon, t-then so be it” his voice breaks at the end “when you saved me I couldn’t be more proud to call you my mate, I was so ready to run to you, and hold you, but the moment that that soldiers s-stabbed you, I-I lost it, I didn’t even realized more soldiers were approaching me, but it was like my brain knew and I killed them all just to get to you” A few tears scape his eyes, with shaky fingers I cup his face and wipe them, his eyes look up at mine, and all the pain I see there breaks my heart.

A sob scapes my lips when I tried to talk, taking a deep breath I tried again “We are stronger than this baby, we are going to go through this together as we always do, and if I have to remind you every day for the rest of our lives that you are not a weapon, that you are worthy, and wroth living for, I will, always, but you have to promise me that you will try, and never give up on you, on us” I tell him, resting me forehead against his, while looking deep in his eyes. His chin quivers with, and tears wet his eyelashes. Azriel gives me a nod while chanting “I promise” over and over again.

We were born to die

(We were born to die, we were born to die, we were born to die)

We were born to die

A pain prickles my neck making me hiss and my mate's heveas a hiss of his own while touching his neck, my eyes look at his neck looking at a tattoo, a skull with wings, “The Angel of Death”, that’s what that means, what they used to called in the Court of Nightmares. My power, death in every shape or form. My fingers trace the portrayal of our promise mark on our skins. His eyes adverts to my neck, looking at what I know is my tattoo, it’s a skull with truth-teller he says, while shaky breaths and broken voice.

“Please don’t leave me again” he says after a few moments “I wouldn’t know how to bear with that, the past month and a half, it was hel” his eyes plead with me.

Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane

I gave him a reassuring smile, crashing my lips with his, in a silent promise that everything is going to be fine, that we are going to do this together. Whatever long it takes. That I have him as he has me. That our love is unconditional and strong. That we will have again moments like the one we had before battle. And specially that we will be together to whatever life throws at us. And I’m that moment draped in each others arms, everything feels right.

So, don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough

And the road gets tough, I don't know why

Keep making me laugh

Let's go get high

The road is long, we carry on

Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane, so (louder)

Choose your last words, this is the last time

'Cause you and I, we were born to die

We were born to die

(We were born to die, we were born to die, we were born to die)

We were born to die

Why? (Got that?)

Who, me? (Louder)

(We were born to die, we were born to die, we were born to die)

Why? (Got that?)

Fin.

A/N: well as I said I’m new to this, I hope you enjoy, I accept constructive criticism and feedback. Thank you and sorry for any grammar errors 🫶🏼

[fficway]

Distracting Dancing Donnie

Synopsis: You need a dance partner for an assignment, and your pride won't allow you to ask Donnie.

ROTTMNT Donnie x Reader insert. (No gender specified). Reader is either in high school and friends with the current turtles, or in college and friends with aged-up turtles, whichever is closer to your age/preference.

[This has all the fluff. A personal friend requested a one shot so I wrote this. I personally thought it was a little too cheesy or that I lost the characters' personalities somewhere along the line, but the friend who requested it loved it so I decided to share! I proofread it but I know there are still grammar mistakes. Also copying and pasting to Tumblr made me lose some of my typographical emphasis, so I did my best to fix it.]

In all the years you've known the turtles, you've never messed up so badly.

You've never hurt or betrayed any of them. Especially not to the extent that you've done today.

"How could you choose Señor Hueso as your dance partner over me?!" Donnie is whom you've betrayed on this historical day.

You had never let your grades slip in any of your classes, not even in the midst of pizza parties with the turtles or infiltrating The Foot with April. However in recent months you've become somewhat distracted.

Ok, more than somewhat. You had always had an affinity for the tech-wiz turtle, just an infatuation if you will. You thought it was something that would come to pass over time, just a small, childish crush. Until the years passed by and you've gotten that much closer with the turtles. Being with them through thick and thin, helping to bandage their injuries, cheering them on whether it be in a fight against mutants, or competition amongst themselves.

You've seen them laugh, you've seen them cry, you've seen them hurt, hell, you've even seen them sick with the rat flu (which you got 4 new gifts from thanks to the seventh "Must Say Yes" stage!) And what you thought to be a little crush did not fade. In fact, with every rescue Donatello had accomplished, saving you in the knick of time, every scwabble he took your side on, every invention he explained to you with that excited fire in his eyes, you found yourself incredibly distracted by your growing feelings for him.

Distracted enough that your history grade had slipped. Hence, where you are today. Your teacher was assigning a "historical dances around the world" assignment with a contest, the winner receiving extra credit, and you were given Salsa as your assigned dance. Writing a report to go with it is the easy part. Dancing it is an entirely different story. So you decided to go with who Leo describes as an expert: Señor Hueso.

"Donnie, if it were an 80's dance like Disco or The Robot, of course I'd have asked you. But my grade is on the line here and I need an expert!" You told him a half-truth. As much as you'd want to, you don't think you could ever bring yourself to ask Donnie to dance with you. You've seen him dance! You'd just get distracted again and short circuit right there on the dance floor! You want your grade to go up, not down!

"Actually Disco dancing was created in the 1960's, and whereas the Robot was popularized in the 60's as well, it's origins date back as early as the 1920's-" He was already on a roll, adding in a few dance poses as he elaborated.

"Donnie, look, I'm sorry but I'm trying to win, and Señor Hueso was nice enough to agree to help me. After some begging/convincing from Leo." You mumbled the last part to yourself.

"Scoff! You know as well as I do that you would not receive any award lower than first place with me! Failure is not in my vocabulary!" Donnie exclaimed.

"Yeah, but it's in your record" you mumbled to yourself.

"What! I don't have any failures on my record!" Donnie, who had apparently heard you, argued.

"What about the many L's you took in our shell games to moi?" Leo leaned his weight on his brother's head.

"I only recall besting you and taking your room from you." Donnie cockily brushed off Leo.

"And all the sports games we lost because of you?" Raph added from his seat on the couch.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I don't even partake in sports ball." Donnie retorted with a couple flicks of his wrist, as if dusting off the allegation.

"And when you got us attacked by one of your many evil robots?" Mikey shouted from the skate ramp.

"That doesn't sound like me." He crossed his arms.

"And the many projects you failed to help me with?" April added showing the pictures on her phone of every one of Donnie's combustible experiments.

"That must be the work of a different, lesser genius mutant ninja turtle." Donnie crossed his arms.

You clicked the projector on where a video played of Donnie yelling "I can fix this!" repeatedly in multiple different clips where different inventions of his glitched, shut down, got destroyed, self-destructed, or turned evil.

"Hmm, does my shell armor really look that ingenious from the back?" He wondered with a hand under his chin and one eyebrow raised.

"Donnie!" April shouted.

"OK, I'll admit I may have forgotten a few data points. But I am still undefeated in my dancing! Which is why I feel betrayed that you of all people wouldn't pick me as your dance partner!" He turned back to you.

"Dee, I'm sorry but my mind is made up. I appreciate you wanting to help, but I've got too much at stake and need to take first place." You placed your hand on his shoulder as you explained.

"Et tu, Brute?" He quoted at you, hurt. He brushed off your hand as he turned and sulked stubbornly towards his lab. "Fine, but don't come crying to me when you realize that I was obviously the better choice!" He shouted back.

______________

You felt awful. You felt like you really had betrayed Donnie. It was just dancing, but you knew how much he liked to be relied on, especially outside of his technology. You felt like a kicked puppy.

"Ouch!" Especially your shin that had actually been kicked just now!

"Compañero, you need to keep up."

"Sorry Señor Hueso. I'm just a little... distracted." That word keeps correlating with Donnie and it really needs to cease.

"Well then, if you are too distracted to learn, then I suppose this lesson is over." Señor Hueso sighed as he turned to walk back into his kitchen. He had been kind enough to let you use his restaurant as a makeshift dancefloor during closed hours.

"Hold on there Bone Man!" Leo slid to put his arm around him, stopping his exit. "If teaching the dance steps isn't working, you could at least take this time to teach about the history of the dance for the written report?"

"Yes! Yes please! That would be a huge help, and I'll be sure to pay attention this time!" You gleamed with hopeful eyes, silently thanking Leo's quick thinking. You only had a week to prepare after all.

Señor Hueso sighed, "Fine, as long as you listen closely." He moved over to one of the tables so you all can sit as he began.

"The Salsa was developed by Puerto Ricans and Cubans living here in New York in the late 60s and early 70s. Different regions of Latin America and the United States have distinct salsa styles of their own such as Cuban, Puerto Rican, Colombian, and New York's very own style. I am well learned in all of these styles, but for your dance, I will be teaching you the New York style." He continued on with showing the movements distinct to each style and the differences they show even in the same moves, and you found yourself forcing yourself to take notes even though your mind is wandering to Donnie and how he may have been lighting up with that excitement he wears so well as he explains this same information. Your brain may be wandering but you had turned on a recorder before the lesson started so that you could practice the dance steps at home, and you were smart to leave it recording as Señor Hueso taught about the history of the Salsa.

"Wait, so its similar to the Tango in that it's an improv dance, but more upbeat and free spirited. So then why am I learning choreography? Wouldn't it be more authentic to follow your lead at the contest?" You asked.

"You were under the impression that I was going to be your dance partner at the contest? There seems to be a misunderstanding. I agreed to teach you for a day, not to risk being spotted in your world." He had a point, but the crushing reality hit you in the face like a brick.

"What?! A day? But I thought you were going to teach, practice, and then wear a disguise or something to be my partner for the contest? Leo said that when you combine with your brother you pass for human with skin and bone-"

"No! I would never involve my brother in any kind of plan that could get us exposed to the human world. Additionally I would not stoop so low as to ask my brother for a favor." Hueso muttered to himself, crossing his arms.

"I would!" You exclaimed, panicked. "Leo! Do something!"

"Hey, I've already gotten myself on server and dish washer duty just from asking him to teach you to dance! I say just find a different partner! What about Donnie? You already know that he wanted to be your dance partner, so convincing him will be a piece of cake!" Leo leaned on his sword casually.

"Ugh! But if I ask him now I'll never live it down!" You grumbled with your hands over your face.

"I agree, Donnie can be a sore winner" Leo mused with a deadpan expression. Being defeated by any of his siblings was annoying enough, but Donnie's cocky way of rubbing it in their faces was worse than Leo's.

Ok, so Donnie is not necessarily worse than Leo at being a sore winner, but to Leo he was.

"What about you Leo? You're here with me at the lesson! So you can learn the choreography with me!" You pleaded.

"Woah, as much as I'd love to rub it in Donnie's face that I was picked as a dance partner over him... Ok, scratch that, I'd love to rub it in Donnie's face that I was picked as a dance partner over him, I'm in!"

You fist pumped at Leo agreeing. It's ok! You can still do this! You have time, and Leo's not a bad dancer!

"While I hate being the bearer of bad news, isn't the contest on Friday? The same day that papino here is supposed to be my server for an important dinner being held here in my restaurant?" Hueso interrupted. Leo had agreed to serve at the restaurant for the entire week, and then end his service after helping Hueso serve for an important dinner reservation.

"Relax! It'll be fine! I'll just portal back and forth, help you serve your restaurant," Leo gestures to Hueso, "and help you to win your contest!" He gestures to you. 'And help to make Donnie jealous.' Leo added to himself.

You and Señor Hueso looked at each other unsure.

Eventually it was decided that since Leo had agreed to help serve at the Run of The Mill Pizza for the entire week, that you can practice his portalling back and forth during your dance practice and see if you can get the timing down.

______________

It was a disaster.

"That was a disaster!" Donnie laughed.

Leo and you had consistently topled over each other, stepping on each others feet as he popped in and out of the lair, sometimes with random dishes in hand, sometimes holding one of the restaurant's customers and spinning them instead of spinning you. Eventually you were sitting on the floor of the lair, rubbing your poor, abused feet as Donnie smugly looked down from the railing above.

"It was only our twelfth try! We still have plenty of time to improve!" You shouted up at him. You were mortified.

"Sure, if you subtract the seventeen attempts from yesterday, and the fourteen from the day before-" He started counting on his three fingers.

"Ok! But we almost had it that time! I had a fighting chance! Besides this is supposed to be an improv style dance in its origin so technically we're authentic!" You were spouting nonsense out of desperation. You knew it. And unfortunately for you, Donnie knew it. You had to look away from his smug and cocky grin he was giving you. It didn't help that he was so good looking with that look on his face. And it didn't help that he knew that too.

"Oh dear, if only there were someone proficient at dancing around that could take 'Nardo's place and help you to place first place at the contest. Oh wait, there is and you picked TWO other people over me!" Ugh, you hated when he has something over you to rub in your face like this.

"Look, Dee-"

"If you apologize now and, I don't know, beg maybe? I might agree to win that contest for you through the power of dance! You and I both know that you need the help." Donnie had his hand posed smugly by his face.

You hated when he had something to rub in your face, sure. But what you hated more was when he was a jerk about it too.

"'Beg?' 'Win it for me?' I'm not incompetent Donatello!" Ooh, you used his full name. Bad sign. "I don't need your help with this stupid dance contest. And frankly? I don't even want it!" You shouted up at him before turning away to gather your things. And here you were about to finally ask him as a last resort. Even with the risk that you'd mess it all up and somehow accidentally reveal to the turtle how badly you had fallen for him, you were desperate, and knew it was only logical to ask Donnie. But after the things he just said now, your pride wouldn't allow it.

"You only have a day before the contest! You’ll come crawling back to me! You'll see!" Donnie shouted after you as you left the lair. He sighed. He knew he messed up. He got full of himself with the notion that you'd maybe be desperate enough to finally ask him! He assumed that if he talked himself up enough and gave you the confidence of a definite win, that he could finally dance with you.

It was no secret that he loved to dance, especially when smitten with someone. Ever since he found himself wanting to ask you to dance with him every time music played in the background of a venue, after some kind of victory, or even when music played during a Jupiter Jim movie, he realised it was due to the growing feelings he had for you. He was not dense in his own feelings, he knew when he was attracted to someone. And he had fallen hard and fast for you years ago, and those feelings had not wavered.

It had hurt that when the opportunity for you to dance with someone came up you had not thought of him. What was worse, when your original partner had been a bust, you had picked his own brother over him, even after he had expressed his interest! (Ok, he expressed offense at not being chosen but in retrospect its the same thing!)

He sighed, slapping a hand over his face. He should apologize, and offer, or rather, ask you properly to dance with him for your contest instead. That's all he wanted was a chance to dance with you. Mixing two of his favorite things together is the ultimate dream. You already express a lot of interest in his tech. Letting him go into as much detail and as long a spiel as his heart desires, and even ask questions! The ultimate sign of interest in his scientific art!

He was just being greedy with wanting to dance with you too, he knew, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted you to himself. He wanted you to be as immersed in him as he is in you. He knew all of your favorite things and can even list them in alphabetical order! He knew your allergies and proofed the lair of every possible scenario that could come into contact with you, and even carried extra supplies in his first aid kits especially for you! He knew what makes you laugh, and which nicknames you enjoyed being called the most by him and each of his brothers (though he uses his nickname for you sparingly as he didn't want you to catch on to his knowledge of it).

But he did just overreact. It was probably for a reason that you didnt want to dance with him. Maybe this was a line you were drawing because you caught onto his feelings, and you were trying to distance yourself so you didnt have to hurt him with the rejection. He was spiraling now, thinking the worst when Leonardo popped back into the lair through a portal, laughing with a box of pizza in his hand.

"Hey, do we have that contest in the bag or what?" He smiled, looking around the lair but not finding you.

Donnie sighed as he yelled down to Leo that you already left.

"What? But we didnt even get to discuss how rad our preformance was today! Something must have come up." Leo wondered aloud with a shrug.

"Or, something must have driven them away. Sigh, why am I so bad at taking a hint?" Donnie complained.

"What are you talking about?" Leo asked, skating up to the second level to follow Donnie who was now going off towards his lab. He ate a slice of pizza from the box in his hand.

"Oh nothing. Just realizing that rejection tastes a lot worse than it sounds." Donnie mused aloud. He didn't want to go into detail to his brother, but he knew that if he didn't give an answer he'd never get any peace to sulk to himself.

"What, you were rejected? As a dance partner, or...?" Leo sounded hesitant and unsure but Donnie paid no mind.

"What does it matter? 'Tis but the same definition in my dictionary." Donnie confessed.

"Wait, are we talking about the same 'or?' Is this really happening?" Leo sounded excited, much to Donnie's disapproval. How insensitive to be excited at his brother's heartache.

Leo must have realized his brother's interpretation of his reaction and immediately added context. "Are you really finally admitting your feelings for Y/N? Is that what you're doing here? Did you confess earlier? I want the deets!" Leo sat across from Donnie excitedly. They had gone off track from going towards his lab and had ended up in the kitchen. Donnie needed rocky road to heal his rocky heart.

"Donnie confessed?!" Raph popped out from behind the refrigerator door and Mikey dropped the spoon he was using to stir ingredients together. He was cooking brustle sprouts. Leo put the box of pizza on the table and everyone grabbed a slice as they gathered around.

"No! I did not, exactly, confess anything as I have nothing to confess and you cannot prove otherwise because there is no proof!" Donnie was regretting his decision to go to the kitchen.

"Oh but you just said you being rejected as a dance partner and "or" were the same thing, so what is "or?" Leo smugly explained.

"Ugh! Does it matter? You're the dance partner, not me, and so I'm taking the hint and staying out of it! Now if you'll excuse me, I will be shutting myself inside my lab to work on FAB version 2.14 so that it's even more state of the art. If you need me, leave a message and I will get back to you at the next, convenient, never." Donnie left the kitchen without his ice cream or a goodbye, and the turtles looked around at each other.

"Wow, this dance partner thing really bothered him." Mikey said concerned.

"You know how soft his shell is. Especially for Y/N. We knew it would get to him, but I guess we didn't realize how badly it would hurt him." Raph said sadly.

"Relax you guys! It'll all work out!" Leo waved off their concerns with a smirk.

"Ok, what are you planning Leo?" Raph raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing!" Leo insisted, although him stretching out the word made it less convincing. "On an unrelated note, I need your help at the Run of The Mill Pizza Friday!"

"But that's when the contest is! We were going to root on Y/N at the contest!" Mikey complained.

"Oh, so I guess you don't want a rematch at who's the better waiter that I so obviously won last time." Leo taunted Mikey.

"Oh, you're so on!" Mikey jumped up at the challenge and Raph caught him by the shell.

"Leo, what's up your sleeve?" Raph held Mikey in the air who swung his arms and legs around.

"Only this measuring tape." Leo pulled out a measuring tape seemingly out of nowhere and started holding it up to different parts of Raph's torso. "Say, don't you think you'd look fantastic in the waiter's tuxedo uniform?"

Raph blushed, "Well I have always wanted to try it on."

"Alright! That's what I'm talking about!" Leo hugged his brothers. Now that they were distracted and agreed to working with him at the restaurant Friday, that would leave you no more options to turn to than Donnie when he "accidentally" won't be able to make it on Friday. Leo was a great dancer. Not as great as Donnie (though he'll never admit it aloud), and he had become a master at teleportation. He wasn't as bad as he had made you believe him to be. He knew your and Donnie's ego's and feelings for each other would prevent you both from dancing together, so he set this plan up as soon as you had asked him if he knew anyone who could Salsa dance. Señor Hueso was in on it too, in fact. He never would have asked Leo to work at his restaurant again unless absolutely necessary. But Leo had insisted that he needed to work there as a part of his master plan.

It was all going to work out accordingly. You may not win the prize considering the last minute changes, but you and Donnie would at least have a chance to dance together. And if nothing else were to come out of this, at least he wouldn't owe you a favor anymore for covering for him when he broke Donnie's mini Donnie statue.

_____________

["So none of you are coming tonight?"] You asked, texting the group chat with April and the turtles.

April had started a new intern job at a new's station and couldn't get off to come and cheer you on. You wouldn't have asked her to anyway considering this was a job she had wanted for a while. But you appreciated her fist pump emojis she sent to cheer you on instead.

Raph and Mikey had apparently been needed to help Señor Hueso and Leon at the restaurant so that it would be easier for him to pop in and dance with you while they cover his absence. It made sense so you sent your thanks. Yesterday's final practice had gone somewhat ok, you thought? Maybe having Leo not portal in would make it finally go somewhat well.

Donnie had apparently been left to babysit Mayhem, which you tried to tell yourself was a good thing. You didn't need him to distract you yet again, however you couldn't help how low in your chest it felt like your heart had fallen that even he had bailed on cheering you on. You wanted him to cheer you on. You wanted him to watch you partake in a hobby that he loved so much, to feel more apart of his world and passions. Hell, what you really wanted was to dance with him. You should have sucked up your pride days ago and just asked him. With all the practicing surely you would have had time to get over your embarrassment of dancing so closely to him. You were such an idiot to let an opportunity like this slip away because of your dumb pride!

The teacher's opening speech cut off your thinking. She was announcing the scores from the reports of the essays you all had turned in that morning, as well as saying how many points you needed to win.

You had received a perfect score on your essay! However so did a few other students! It was going to be close! There were 3 judges with the old fashioned score paddles ranging from 0-10. If any of the other students got a perfect 10/10 from even one of the judges, it would be hard to beat with you and Leon's dancing!

You texted Leo nervously, ["We've got this, right?"] But your nerves only grew when he didn't text back during the first student's dance. You kept clicking your phone on and off, checking if you had gotten any missed messages. The student who went 7th had gotten scores 10, 7, and 9! You wanted to throw up at how it made your nerves worse! You texted Leo a few more times before texting Raph, and then Mikey, asking if Leo's phone had died, and that your turn was coming up in two songs. Nothing! You were in a full panick and sent to the group chat asking if anyone had heard from Leo.

["What do you mean? Is he not there yet?" -Donnie]

Ugh, you were mortified that Donnie of course would be the only one to respond.

["No! No 1 is responding! Idk how 2 reach him!"] You texted back. You hated abbreviating texts but this was an emergency and you were almost out of time as the next student's dance ended with a score of 10, 8, and 10! The next student's number was called. Your turn was after.

You kept clicking on and off your phone again but Donnie hasn't respond now either.

["Did U reach him?"] You wished for a miracle that Leo's portal would pop up in front of you. It didn't even matter if everyone saw, you were desperate. If you danced this alone, you were sure to fail! Maybe you could ask one of the other students?

The song came to an end. The teacher was about to call your number. You clicked your phone on again and felt dread spread through you at yet again seeing no response. You felt yourself crumble on the inside in disappointment. Even if you danced it alone, you didn't even feel like dancing at this point!

You didn't move when the teacher called your number. You fiddled with your fingers around the phone that was still in your hands but the screen was no longer lit. You deserved this for letting your grades slip in the first place. But to be stood up by your own friends, who you had fought battles with? It hurt. You put your phone away and started walking up to the teacher to lie and tell her that you didn't prepare a dance, or maybe even tell her that you had stage fright or something? Either way you had to tell her that you couldn't do it.

"Number 17? Where are you?" The teacher asked on the microphone looking around the dim ballroom.

You sighed. You were mortified. "Right-"

"Here!" You were pushed forward from behind into the spotlights of the dancefloor and turned to find Donatello in snazzy clothes that covered his turtle appearance as much as possible. Behind him Mayhem's tail wagging caught your eye before you looked back at him.

"Donnie, what are you doing here?" You whispered to him looking towards the teacher as she announced that youll be performing the Salsa.

"Leo couldn't make it." Donnie looked at you apologetically. He stopped himself from saying more as the intro to the song started. He held out his hand, "Would you give me the honor of being your dance partner?"

You blushed. You didn't have time to think before the dance was supposed to start so you only nodded with a smile before placing your hand in his with your other hand in the air and a hip popped in your first dance pose.

The lyrics of the song started and Donnie matched your dancing flawlessly. He had watched you and Leo practice enough to memorize the choreography that you knew and were comfortable with. But now he couldn’t help himself to let the music get to him. This opportunity to dance with you was just too good to be true, so he let the music take over and added some improvised spins into the dance.

To his surprise, you matched him flawlessly, and even were smiling and laughing like you were enjoying yourself! He couldnt believe it! He was actually dancing with you! And you were enjoying it! You spun him a few times and you both parted to Salsa in place before coming back together for more spins.

Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and you could feel your face on fire! Not only did he come to your rescue yet again, but you both still got to dance together! You couldn't believe it! Better than that, he was really good! Your fears were for nothing! Granted the rhythm in which he moved his hips was definitely distracting, but it felt so natural, so fun to dance with him! You'll definitely have to apologize to him after!

You were nearing the end of the song when it donned on you that you needed to score at least two 10s and a 9 to win, and the realization that you and Donnie had gotten lost in your own world while dancing suddenly made you nervous. Did this count as Salsa sancing still? Sure it's an improvisation dance but you had decided on choreography as the safest bet to insure you did it correctly, what if this was all for naught? What if you don't win and it causes Donnie to spiral and makes the situation between you worse?

Your nerves eventually won out as Donnie spins you inwards towards him. You found yourself falling backwards as you over-rotated, and dread filled you once more.

"Leg up!" Donnie's hushed voice was in your ear as his inner elbows scooped up under your arms and caught you in a dip. Your leg was already going up a bit during your fall so you took advantage of Donnie supporting your weight to kick your leg up high, making sure to point your toes so that it looks like all of this was on purpose, before he bounced you back on your feet and you spun back around to him. You finished the last quick step as he pulled you close and you both came to an abrupt stop right on time with the music.

Everyone was clapping and cheering around you as you and Donnie panted while still holding onto one another. Your face heated and you felt dizzy, whether from the spinning or from how close Donnie was to you, you were not sure. He glanced down at your lips before quickly backing off to your side and lifting one of your hands in the air. He looked at you expectantly to lead, and you smiled as you both bowed at the judges and your teacher.

He didn't let go of your hand as the judges reached for the scoring paddles, and you gave his hand a tight squeeze to ease your nerves. Your heart was pounding from the combination of the dance, the scoring, and from the intimacy of being so close to Donnie for this long.

The judges lifted their paddles. 10, 10, and 9.5! You squealed before you and Donnie hugged each other. He didn't know if you had hugged him or vice-versa, but he wasn't complaining. Although once you both realized your position you quickly separated and scurried off the dancefloor for the last few contestants to go. But Donnie noted that you hadn't let go of his hand yet.

Once you were off to a dimly lit corner of the room at the back of the crowd you were hugging Donnie again. Mayhem hopping up onto a water cooler beside you both.

"Donnie! You! I really can't believe you did this for me! You really saved me tonight, I don't know how I can thank you!"

"I could think of a few ideas." Donnie's blush went unseen in the dim light, and you were letting him go now, his hand included, much to his disappointment.

"Listen Donnie, I really owe you an apology. I... was honestly embarrassed to ask you to be my dance partner. You're such a good dancer, and I.. didn't think I could keep up." It's a half truth. You didn't think you could keep up because you assumed you'd be tripping over yourself being that close to him. Which did technically happen but he had saved your butt, both figuratively and literally.

"No! Stop no!" He waved his arms in front of him. He was so embarassed now at hearing your reasoning, he really felt like a jerk now at how he had acted. "I am the one who is in the wrong. I felt hurt at not being chosen to be your dance partner, and took it a little.. too personally if I am being honest." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I.. overreacted, and behaved rather immaturely. Can you forgive me?"

To his pleasant surprise, you smiled at him and took his hands again. "For saving my butt tonight in all definitions of the phrase? Forgiven! Not only that, but if we win this because of you, I'll-"

"We will now be announcing the final scores!" The teacher's voice cut your conversation short. You just realized that you hadn't watched the scores for the final performances! What if someone got perfect 10s? You turned to watch nervously as your teacher introduced the judges and let them each give a little speech, postponing the results a little further.

Donnie had whispered to you a few times "You'll what? If we win, you'll what??" But you hadn't heard him. You squeezed his hand in yours absent-mindedly as your nerves got progressively more disoriented. Donnie's nerves rose at how you were still holding his hand. He was still elated at that he not only got to dance with you -the view of you laughing in joy as he spun you being a sight he would relive in his head (and in his tech as he records everything) for the rest of his life- but also due to the fact that you forgave him!

He heard who he assumed to be the teacher announce third place, who recieved 5 extra bonus points to their final grade, go to someone who had apparently performed a waltz.

Your hand squeezed his nervously as second place, the winner of 10 extra bonus points went to a student who had performed ballet. That was a fair choice, ballet was hard to learn in just a week after all and oh my gosh it was so hard for Donnie to focus when your hand fit so well in his! Was he sweating? He hoped he wasn't sweating!

"First place, winning a prize of 15 extra bonus points to the semester's final grade, goes to... number 17, who performed the Salsa!"

You hadn't heard passed your number being called before you jumped up and down.

"I won! Donnie! You-! Oh migosh, you-! Ahh come here!"

Your hands clamped over the sides of his face and pulled him towards your lips.

He didn't know how to react. He didn't have time to react, as the kiss was over in an instant, and you were already rushing back to the dancefloor to claim your certificate.

He stood there dumbfounded, feeling dizzy, smiling like a dum dum. That really just happened! You kissed him! In the same night that you danced with him! He couldn't believe it!

A portal opened up beside him with Leo popping in unnoticed by the rest of the students around. "Soooo, judging by your face and Y/N up there getting an award I assume the plan worked?"

"Plan?" Donnie snapped out of it as he rounded on his brother. "So this was apart of a plan of yours?"

Leo leaned on Donnie's shoulder, "Uh, yeah! And I'd say it was a success!"

Donnie felt himself boil at the thought of being played by Leo of all of his brothers, but as you bounced up to them he quickly thought that this is maybe the only time his brother having a hand in things turned out for the best.

"Leo! Where were you?! Actually, nevermind that! Thank you for not showing up! Donnie and I won!" You hooked your arms around Leo's neck in a hug, bouncing excitedly, and Donnie felt the boiling return.

"Yes, we did win, and you were saying something about if we won you'll...?" Donatello desperately tried to direct your attention back to his festering question. If nothing else, he wanted Leo gone and to have time with you to himself to ask you about that kiss! It was a matter of urgency!

Leo smirked, "So you won! Congrats! That calls for a celebration! Luckily everyone is back in the lair with some Run of The Mill Pizza ready for you!"

"Um, yeah ok, why don't you go ahead and tell everyone the good news while I take Y/N back after the event is over?" Donnie pushed Leo further away from you and out of your arm's reach.

"The event is over, Donnie." You laughed, "We can all head back together now!" In all honesty, you were too embarrassed at what you had just done.

You had moved without thinking earlier. You had been too engrossed in the moment and kissed Donnie without thinking about his feelings! He probably didnt like you that way! You were so thankful at seeing Leo there after recieving your reward so you didnt have to talk to Donnie about what you had just done. You weren't ready! You didn't want to tell him your feelings now! And apologizing would probably make it sound awful: "Hey, sorry I kissed you, that was an accident!" What if it hurt his pride, or he took it the wrong way? You didn't even know if he had liked it or not because you ran off before seeing his reaction. You wanted nothing more than to escape to the lair with everyone else and go back to how things were. You can tell him how you feel another time when you're ready!

"No, it isn't-" Donnie had tried to lie that the event was not over yet, but the students leaving the venue was hard to deny. Leon laughed as he opened a portal and pushed you inside it.

"See you and Mayhem there when you're ready to join us, Donnie." Leo winked at him to tease his brother before stepping through the portal after you.

Donnie didnt waste a second before opening his arms for Mayhem to teleport him to the lair after you both.

___________

You were excitedly telling everyone about the contest, exaggerating how Donnie showed up at the last minute before the music started. You stepped around the room trying to mimic some of the dance steps from earlier as you excitedly told them more about the dance and at how Donnie was a natural, and his improvised steps were amazing.

He had to admit, dancing with you? Amazing! You singing his praises to his siblings about dancing with you? Even better! He was so smug right now that Leo's one liner's weren't phasing him one bit. You were so animated while reliving the dance, it was like you were talking about your favorite TV show, and he was so in love with this animated and excited side of you. He could watch you all night.

"And then suddenly, I found myself living out my biggest fear! I had tripped and was falling to my doom!" You were so dramatic, it was adorable. He got up without anyone noticing.

"Oh no!" Raph gasped, his voice an octave higher than normal.

"Did you fall in the middle of the dance?" Mikey asked, fearfully.

You smirked, "No, Mikey, no I didn't!"

Mikey gasped.

"But how did you not fall?" Raph questioned. They were eating this up.

"I swooped in with the magic of rhythm!" Donnie slid into the scene behind you, and you took the cue to fall back as you had during your dance.

"'Leg up!' He had told me! He knew exactly how to save the day!" You posed with Donnie holding you from behind with your leg in the air like you had done before, but now you both held it as you rambled. Everyone applauded.

"And like a natural, you pulled it off perfectly!" Donnie added proudly, now bouncing you back up to your feet. You blushed at him for a moment before turning back around to finish the story to the others, leaving out the hand-holding and kiss, and proudly showing your certificate.

"Congratulations! We all know how hard you worked this week for this win! You deserve it!" April said to you from her spot on the couch. "I wish I had been there to cheer you on, but Leo made me promise to turn my phone off and let Donnie handle it."

"Dahh! April! Ix-nay on the an-play!" Leo whispered loudly across to April, his hands making an "x."

"I'm sorry, he did what?" You turned towards Leo even though your question was for April.

"Hahaha! I uh-" Leo chuckled nervously as Mikey chimed in.

"He had us turn off our phones too! And made sure we were busy far away from you in case you needed a back up partner!"

You started stalking towards Leonardo who was awkwardly getting up from the couch to sneak away.

"I knew the moment he wasn't responding to his phone that something was amiss. Getting me to agree to look after Mayhem made sense when you had texted the group chat that he was a no-show. It had only taken me a minute to get dressed and teleport to the venue, and to archive how good I looked in a quick few selfies which was why I was almost late." Donnie explained, keeping the last bit to himself.

"Leo." You started, "Surely you didn't stand me up, leaving me to have a full blown panic attack and almost quit the contest entirely, did you? You wouldn't do that to a friend, right?" Your smile could freeze hell.

"I just remembered that I have something to do, uh, anywhere but here!" Leon opened a portal, and as he stepped through you turned to the rest of the family in the lair.

"And surely all of you didn't go along with this plan knowingly? Right? You wouldn't ditch your friend in need?"

There was a pregnant pause before everyone besides you and Donnie were scrambling for the portal, with Raph shouting something about a mission they forgot about and to not wait up.

You sighed as the portal closed. "I'm happy with the outcome, but I have mixed feelings about being played like this."

Donnie walked up to you. "Yes, I concur that the event did end with the most preferable of outcomes." He said this simply, but with the awkward habit he had of scratching his head when embarrassed you flushed at the possibility that he might be bringing up the kiss. Surely not!

You both looked at each other with a blush. No way, he can't seriously mean... he has to be talking about dancing with you! That's all!

"Yeah! Dancing with you was the best thing to happen! Your help winning the contest was just icing on the cake!" You smiled at him. This was honest. Winning of course was the goal, but the best part of tonight was getting to dance with Donnie and apologizing to him.

"That reminds me. You said that if you won thanks to my help you'd do something. What, uh, might that be that you were about to say earlier?" Donnie finally got a chance to bring it up again!

You blushed again and suddenly couldn't look him in the eye. "Um, well." Could you tell him that the kiss was what you were going to do? Would he take that as a thank you? Would it seem too conceited to think he would accept it? Is it too conceited to hope he'd liked it? You can't run anymore. (Literally, April took Mayhem with her!) So the best thing you can do is ask.

"What, uh, what would you like?"

At this Donnie covered his blush by putting his hand over his face as if thinking hard. He knew what he wanted! But would it be awkward to ask for another kiss? You had kissed him earlier so maybe there was a chance that you wanted to kiss him before a rush of dopamine from winning had taken over? No, but he can't hypothesize with only one data point! This seemed like a now or never moment, yet there were too many uncertainties! Too many questions!

That's it! He knew what to ask for.

"I want you to answer me honestly." He said looking you seriously in the eyes. You swallowed. You knew what he was going to ask before he asked, and you had wished he wouldn't.

"Why did you kiss me earlier?" Donnie asked carefully. He didnt want to seem too eager, but also didnt want to sound uninterested. He was trying to play it cool. Suave. Nonchalant. Luckily all of the sweat was pouring down the back of his neck and shell so you couldn't see it.

You hesitated, then eventually sighed, looking anywhere but his eyes. "Well I, I mean the obvious answer is that I kissed you because I was excited about the win, and since the win had had been because of you..."

"But..?" Donnie pushed. Saying that its the 'obvious answer' didn't mean that it was the only answer.

"But," you continued, finally looking back to him shyly, "I kissed you because... I wanted to kiss you. I really wanted to kiss you. I've wanted to for a while now and, tonight was just an excuse to do it." You carefully watched him as he raised a hand to his head.

"I.. Um, I mean. Wow, I'm short-circuiting." Donnie had a strange half-smile on his face. He was surely going to wake up from this dream any minute now! Tonight was beyond belief! He got to dance with you, got kissed by you, and now you're telling him that you've wanted to kiss him for a while?! That means you have feelings for him, right? That has to mean you do, obviously! Those two factors correlate! He found himself giggling a little to himself at how happy he was.

You on the other hand were so embarrassed that he had managed to squeeze a confession out of you tonight after all! You didnt want to do this! You were certain that reaction of his was positive, but this was all too embarrassing and you wanted nothing more than to escape.

"Ok, I answered your question! Thanks again for your help tonight! If you need me, I'll-"

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere!" Donnie grabbed ahold of your hand as you tried to slip away. You squealed as he spun you into him, and found yourself unable to hold back giggles as he dipped you low.

"I've wanted to do this for so long." He smirked down at you before leaning down and capturing your lips with his.

[hughesmedicine]

bowling night | m. estapa

mark estapa x !duke reader

it was hard to find good couple bowling pics👎

on marks post imagine the guy has his hair color since ^^

markestapa posted to his story

caption: date with my girl💙 @ynduke

yourusername

liked by markestapa, dylanduke25 and others.

ynduke could say date night was pretty successful, thank you for the night out my love I love you❤️(and thank you for the best birthday ever<3)

tagged markestapa

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markestapa happy birthday babe I love you and always welcome for the nights out💙 now time to drink(responsibly)!

ynduke thank you!! (totally responsible) so race you to the bar??

markestapa you’re so on!

dylanduke25 date: a social or romantic appointment or engagement.

ynduke please don’t do that here

dylanduke25 okay rude you should appreciate my definitions since I’m educating you!

ynduke but I’m already educated on a date??

dylanduke25 tomato tomahto

ynduke I hate you.

nolan_moyle okay but where was my invite??

ynduke please you should’ve came! we could have whooped marks ass together then I would have beat you!

nolanmoyle why are you so cocky??

ynduke I blame my brothers.

tyler__duke5 should be blaming alyssa that’s her field.

dylanduke25 ^

alyssa_duke being cocky is not my field that’s 100% you three!

nolan_moyle have to agree with her boys and girl, you three together are cocky central.

ynduke you’re uninvited.

nolan_moyle no I’m sorry I take it back!

ynduke too late.

rutgermcgroarty happy birthday y/n and duker!!

ynduke thank you rut!

dylanduke25 thanks man!

markestapa

liked by ynduke, dylanduke25, edwards73 and others.

markestapa when she’s better at bowling than you>>

happy birthday sweet girl I’m glad today was the best day for you but the nights not finished enjoy your party tonight! We celebrate for as long as you want. Thank you for being the best thing to come into my life since going to umich, couldn’t have asked for a better second year with you❤️

tagged ynduke

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ynduke I’m sobbing you can’t just do this to me. I love you so much and I cant wait for more years with you<3

nolan_moyle someone else should pull a duker this time

dylanduke25 do it cap

nolan_moyle okay give me a sec

nolan_moyle bowling the game of tenpin bowling as a sport or recreation

dylanduke25 okay not bad but wasn’t gonna do the definition

nolanmoyle that’s concerning?

dylanduke25 here’s how to play bowling.

1: Understand the bowling lane. before you begin to bowl, you have to understand the function of the bowling lane. A bowling lane is 60 feet (18.3 m) long from the foul line, the line closest to the bowler, to the head pin, the pin closest to the bowler. There are gutters on either side of the bowling lane. If a ball veers off the lane, it goes into the gutters and is out of play. The approach area is 15 feet (4.6 m) long and ends at the foul line. The bowler cannot overstep the foul line during their approach or their shot won't count. If a ball goes into the gutters and then bounces out and hits the pins, it won't count.

2:Understand the bowling pins. Ten pins are arranged at the end of the bowling lane at the beginning of every frame. They are arranged in a triangle formation, with the point of the triangle facing the bowler. There is one pin in the first row, which is the head pin, two pins in the second row, three in the third, and four in the fourth. The locations of the pins are assigned numbers 1-10. The pins in the back row have the numbers 7-10, the pins in the row above the back row are numbered 4-6, the pins in the second row are numbered 2-3, and the head pin is pin 1. All pins will earn the bowler one point if they are hit. The numbers are based on location, not value.

3: Learn the lingo. Before you can call yourself a true bowler, you should be aware of a few different bowling terms. Knowing these terms will also make it much easier for you to understand the rules. Here they are. A strike is when you knock down all the pins with the ball on your first try. A spare is when you knock down all the pins on your second try. A split is when the first ball of a frame knocks down the headpin (the pin closest to you) but leaves two or more pins that are non-adjacent. It's tough to hit a spare in this situation, especially if you have a 7-10 split, which is the hardest split to hit. A turkey is three strikes in a row. If any pins remain after the bowler's turn, it's called an "open frame."

4: Understand how a game of bowling works.One bowling game consists of 10 frames. Each frame is equal to one turn for the bowler. The bowler's objective is to knock down as many pins as possible in a frame, ideally all of them. A bowler can roll the ball twice in each frame, provided that they do not hit a strike. A bowler gets an extra turn on the tenth frame if they knock down all the pins on the first turn.

5: Learn the scoring. If a bowler has an open frame, then they simply get credit for the number of pins they knocked down. If a bowler knocked down 6 pins after two turns, they simply get two turns. However, if a bowler hits a spare or a strike, the rules get slightly more complicated. If a bowler hits a spare, then they should place a slash mark on their score sheet. After their next turn, they will receive 10 points plus the number of pins they knock down with that turn. So if they knock down 3 pins after their first turn, then they will get 13 points before their second turn. If they then knock down 2 pins in their second turn, they get a total of 15 points for that round. If a bowler hits a strike, they should record an X on their scoresheet. The strike will earn the bowler ten points plus the number of pins knocked down on the player's next two turns in the following round. The most a bowler can score in one game is 300 points. This represents 12 strikes in a row, or 120 pins that were knocked down in 12 frames. A perfect game has 12 strikes and not ten, because if the bowler gets a strike on the last frame, then they can take two more turns. If those two turns are also strikes, they will have 300 points. If a player rolls a spare in the last frame, then they can take one more turn.

ynduke I’m just at a loss of words.

aylssa_duke you putting all your time into this is impressive.

nolan_moyle this made me love you even more

markestapa okay but you going and getting all this information from a website just for a comment is pretty crazy😭 I applaud you man

dylanduke25 please I didn’t have to look it up knew this all by heart

ynduke okay yeah that’s concerning.

tyler__duke5 A+ bro thanks for teaching me about bowling!

adamfantilli thanks duker now I can go teach Gavin how to bowl correctly thanks!

g.brindley4 I know how to bowl correctly wtf??

adamfantilli you don’t, remember the ceiling mishap?

g.brindley4 oh yeah

fan1 so duker commenting all about bowling is so concerning, need to know if he took a bowling class😭

ynduke oh he did! Took it for two years.

tyler__duke5 it was hell, he wouldn’t shut up about it.

lhughes_06 I got to hear all of it so you guys are lucky.

dylanduke25 you said you liked me talking about bowling so that’s your fault lukey!

lhughes_06 don’t call me that.

ynduke everyone should call you lukey now

lhughes_06 god please don’t

edwards.73 lukey on the back of his devils jersey, I would buy one also happy birthday y/n I love you!

ynduke about to text Jack to ask for Lindys number! and thank you son I love you too!!

lhughes_06 mark quick take her phone away

ynduke got it pal-mark

markestapa got his phone and it has lindys number in it thanks bye!

lhughes_06 im on my way.

woah okay I’m actually shocked I finish this and it’s long sorry 😭 all the bowling stuff is from wiki so creds to there! Expect some more insta fics throughout out the day till I work🖤 also yes I know insta comments can’t be that long but who cares lmao👎

[ash5monster01]

Goes On Chapter Seven

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x OC!FemReader

Warnings: 18+, depression, mentions of suicide, heavy topics, eventual smut, slow burn romance, fluff, gender themes/stereotypes.

Summary: Against his best efforts Charlie has to start at a new preparatory school after the tragic events that took place at Welton. The very events that led to the loss of his best friend and getting expelled in the first place. He has no plans to make friends let alone get close to anyone ever again. That is until he meets Evelyn and her interesting group of friends. No matter how hard he tries to push them away he finds it to be impossible. So he caves and in the end learns that life can still be enjoyable even if it feels like everyone is against you.

word count: 3.5k

Six ←→ Eight

Masterlist

Ridge Academy, NY

2/10/60

Once classes ended Charlie found himself walking to the schools pay phones, excited to call his friends, and see what they had been up to so far this week. It was the one thing he looked forward to. He wasn’t sure if it was because it made him feel closer to Neil or if he had gone so long without talking to them it was all he wanted to do. Either way he finally felt a semblance of happiness since the whole mess had happened and Charlie was just gonna have to make do, one phone call at a time.

Yet when he rounds the corner to find the line of pay phones he also finds the familiar girl with brunette hair cascading down her back and a soft smile on her face. He takes a moment to admire her, the way she acts fondly about the person on the other end, how her fingers curl around the coiled wire, as if the rest of her body was on autopilot. She was so God damn beautiful and Charlie was such a fool, a fool for not being able to let the old him out. The old him that would do everything in his power to charm her.

“Hey you” his voice is sultry smooth, arms caging her in, and landing on either side of the pay phone. She’s so close he can smell the strawberry shampoo in her hair and the faint smell of her rose perfume. She turns with a wide smile, eyes glimmering with amusement, face so close that if he moved forward just a few more inches he could kiss her.

“Oh that’s just some classmate of mine, thinks he has a chance or something” she says into the phone, devious grin flashing back at Charlie. He figures whoever is on the other end asked who he was and all he could do was roll his eyes at the girl.

“I know. If he bothers me I’ll let you know” she says with a soft chuckle and Charlie raises his eyebrows, glancing at the girl.

“Me? Bother you? No way” he mouths, a hushed whisper coming from his mouth and she bites her lips to suppress a laugh. The sight of it alone makes Charlie’s heart clench. After eating dinner with her that one night he had somehow let her in. Not close enough to bare his soul like he had with his own friends but enough to finally feel comforted by someone around here. He regretted not staying strong but Evelyn somehow was the exception.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later. Love you” she says into the phone and Charlie raises his eyebrows in questioning again. Watching as she turns back around to hang up the phone, still caged in by the boys arms.

“Boyfriend?” he questions and she giggles out loud this time, warming Charlie over.

“Brother actually” she tells him and now he actually is more confused than before.

“He doesn’t go here?” he asks and Evelyn shakes her head.

“No he practically begged my parents to go to public school, plus he’s only eleven, so I don’t think they had it in them to mind. Babies of the family, they get away with everything” she says with amusement glimmering in her eyes and Charlie wishes he had grown up with siblings. It might’ve made growing up with his parents much more bearable.

“So if I bother you, you’re gonna sick an eleven year old on me?” he teases and Evelyn crosses her arms, shrugging.

“Possibly, he does have a mean swing. As his only sister, I would know” and that has Charlie laughing loudly, mentally cursing himself for still not asking the girl to the dance.

“I’ll take your word for it” he tells her and Evelyn grins right back.

“What brings you to the pay phones on this fine Wednesday afternoon?” she questions and Charlie smiles.

“Calling Todd, today’s his day” he says and Evelyn snorts which Charlie finds adorable.

“They have designated days? Is Knox only Fridays then?” she teases right back and Charlie shakes his head, brunette hair swinging.

“No Knox is Tuesdays. Friday nights he spends with his girl” and Evelyn doesn’t miss this way his eyes glance down at her lips when he says ‘his girl’.

“Convenient” she teases and he rolls his eyes at her once more.

“If you don’t mind waiting doll we can go grab some dinner after this” he tells her and Evelyn smiles, still basking in the feeling Charlie was willing to spend time with her.

“I was actually going to meet Nate for trivia on campus but you’re welcome to come” she says and Charlie chuckles, thinking of his room mate who had seemed very on edge lately. If he knew him better he would know why but he figured it was just school.

“I’ll walk you to it, trivia isn’t for me” he says and now Evelyn is the one rolling her eyes at him. Charlie just finds it cute though as he finally pushes himself up off the wall and reaches for the pay phone in front of her. She watches as he drops a few coins in the machine and dials a number familiar to only him.

“Yes, I’m calling for Todd Anderson” he says, raising his eyebrows at Evelyn who watches fondly. After a few minutes of waiting, Evelyn trying to poke Charlie and urge him to finish up already, Todd finally answers.

"There he is" Charlie grins when the familiar voice comes through the phone.

"Charles" Todd greets back with a grunt and Charlie can't help but laugh. He was sad his friend had come out of his shell after he was no longer there to see it. The things he would do to see Todd stand on that desk and stick it to Nolan like that. So much better than a phone call from God.

"How are you, turning in all your assignments on time I suppose?" Charlie teases, knowing Todd was still a goodie two shoes no matter how out going he had become. He could practically see Todd rolling his eyes now.

"Well yeah considering my punishment is to work study under Nolan for the rest of the year. I do all my homework in his office" and Charlie almost winces from the punishment because that must be horrible. That meant no study group with the guys and when you had a question you had to ask Nolan.

"The rest of the year, man all I got was my ass beat and pots and pans for two weeks" Charlie says recalling the punishment he recieved for his own big stunt. He couldn’t sit in his chair properly for a week but at least he had tried to make change. Evelyn just wears a confused look as he hears him say this.

"I guess outwardly disobeying Nolan is much much worse than asking for girls to attend Welton" Todd says which has Charlie laughing again.

"Yeah well much to Nolan's dismay, him kicking me out landed me in a school with girls. Joke's on him" Charlie jokes, looking at the only girl in this God forsaken school that he had somehow gotten close too. She wears a smirk, hearing him mention girls and she hopes more specifically her.

"I'm pretty sure the joke is on those poor girls. Charlie Dalton and his miserable flirting" Todd picks on the boy and Charlie doesn't have the heart to tell him that he had given up the flirting and confident act. That he was just as miserable as the rest of the world if not more.

"Miserable flirting, me? Never" Charlie tells the boy, and Evelyn gives him a confused look because this guy talking on the phone right now is still one she hasn’t gotten to know. Yet a flash of him appears when he spots the look on her face and reaches to grab a strand of her hair, curling it slowly around his fingers.

"Yeah right- Oh, here's Meeks" Todd says before the phone shuffles around.

"Hello Sir" his red headed firends voice floods through the phone and Charlie can't help but crack a smile.

"Meeks, where have you been? My Latin grade is rapidly dropping and my teachers are starting to wonder why" he says referring to all the times Meeks spent hours making sure Charlie not only finished his homework but at least understood it.

"It's a dead language Charles, they'll never question it" he says and Charlie feels that familair clench around his heart. The one that happens everytime he misses being at that school and with his friends.

"I suppose you're right Meeks, it must just be that I miss you bossing me around" Charlie says and he watches as the brunnete girl perks up in front of him. He actually still couldn't believe he told her about all of them. He just hadn't told her what happened to them quite yet.

"We all miss you Nuwanda” the boy says and Charlie smiles, losing his cool and confident act with his friends. Especially when they got sentimental like this.

“Yeah, I miss you guys too. We’ll try and make plans soon” and Evelyn doesn’t miss the sad look on his face and she realizes just how much he misses his friends.

“Okay, bye guys” he says one last time before hanging up the phone and flashing a smile her way. Suddenly he’s distracted, no longer the boy who was just teasing her.

“You got your ass beat?” Evelyn questions, hoping to bring back that smile on his face. When he chuckles softly she realizes it just might’ve worked.

“That’s a story for another time, let’s get you to trivia” he says, arm falling over her shoulders and ready to escort her throughout the school. Evelyn smiles softly at him and shocks Charlie when her hand reaches up and laces with the one hanging off her shoulders.

“You’re different with your friends you know?” she tells him and Charlie nods slowly.

“Yeah well, they’ve known me for my entire life. Never got a chance to hide who I was from them” he tells her and Evelyn sighs, loving her new friendship with the boy but hating entirely that he wasn’t himself with her still.

“Is that you admitting how you hide your true self from us?” she questions again as they round the corner, eyes on the rec room set up for trivia this week.

“It was never a secret Ev, I just have a lot going on” he tells her as they push through the door and before she can question him even further they both realize fairly quickly trivia is not what’s happening here.

Alone beside a table is Nate holding a poster. A bouquet of flowers and some balloons sit on the table beside him, his eyes are hopeful until they land on Evelyn with Charlie’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and fingers laced with her own. Evelyn takes a moment to register exactly what’s happening but when she reads ‘Ev, will you go to the Valentines Dance with me?’ she’s quick to remove herself from Charlie.

“Nate, what’s going on?” she questions and Charlie takes one look at him and realizes what he should of when he first started here. Nate is in love with Evelyn.

“Uh, I’m trying to ask you to the dance” he mutters, eyes darting between the two and Evelyn is approaching him, almost in a way to not scare him.

“Why?” she questions and Nate’s eyes are quick to dart to Charlie, embarrassed that the boy was here to witness this.

“I’m gonna go” Charlie mutters and is out the door lighting fast as Evelyn searches Nate for answers.

“I just, I assumed no one had asked you yet” he says, arm gesturing to where Charlie had just made his great escape. Yet Evelyn doesn’t get what he means.

Nate means that he had assumed Charlie hadn’t already beaten him to it but based on the way the both of them walked through the door he assumed wrong. Evelyn takes it as him being good old reliable Nate. Her dear friend who doesn’t want her to attend a dance on her own. Her friend willing to give up his own date to help her. She still doesn’t get that he’s in love with her.

“Nate that’s sweet you don’t want me to go alone” she starts, trying to reach out for him and Nate realizes quickly his mistake.

“No I-”

“But I’m hosting the dance, I can’t take a date. It’s kinda business for me, not pleasure” and Nate snaps his mouth close. There was no use fighting, he’d already humiliated himself enough. At least this way he knew Evelyn wasn’t going with Charlie either. In fact she wasn’t going with anyone.

“Oh, well in that case” he says, arms starting to wrinkle the poster in his hands that he felt stupid for holding.

“It was such a sweet gesture though. I’ll save you a dance even” she tells him and Nate shakes his head with a chuckle, tossing the now mangled poster in the garbage.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about me” he says and Evelyn gives him a soft smile before pulling him in a hug.

“You’re a good friend Nate and the next dance I don’t plan, I’m all yours” she says and Nate feels his heart shatter once more because maybe everyone was right. He had waited far too long and now he never stood a chance with her.

“Sounds like a plan” he says pulling back, trying to hide the sadness written all over his face. Evelyn just smiles before looking back at the door, he assumes for Charlie.

“Well since there really isn’t any trivia, I better be off to do some homework” she tells him and Nate nods, collecting the roses and balloons on the table.

“Okay, I’ll see you later” he bids her and she smiles and waves before scurrying back off. Nate sighs and looks at the flowers and string of balloons in his hands. With a swift movement he dumps them in the trash right along with the poster and officially gives up.

Not wanting to face his room mate knowing the rejection he just faced from a girl they both liked, he starts for the doors to the outside. Determined to spend the rest of the day moping in his self pity alone.

It’s dark by the time Nate makes it back to campus. Any later and it would’ve been past curfew. He still hadn’t gotten over what had happened and worst of all he no longer had a dorm to himself. He shared it with the very guy that was stealing the girl he loved whether he realized he was or wasn’t. Yet when he reaches the door and doesn’t see any light flooding out the bottom of it, he sighs a sigh of relief.

Slipping inside as quietly as he can he changes into some pajamas and crawls into his bed. He still feels the heavy weight of crying from behind his eyes but he wouldn’t risk Charlie hearing him. So he tried to get comfy, erase the image of Evelyn denying him and friend zoning him all in one go. There was no way now he could ever prove to her his feelings, he was already in too deep.

“You said you were just friends” Nate stiffens at Charlie’s voice filling the dark room, assuming he had been asleep this whole time.

“That wasn’t a lie” Nate responds after a moment and he hears Charlie sigh.

“You should have told me you liked her” and Nate wears a confused look even though Charlie can’t see it.

“Why, you clearly like her too?” Nate says, his voice clipped and holding an anger he didn’t want to take out on the boy because Evelyn wasn’t his property.

“Yeah but if you had said when I asked, I never would’ve gotten close to her. You don’t do that to friends” and Nate feels his heart break once more this afternoon because before Evelyn and Charlie, he was hopeful for a best friend and he had let that get away from. He had spent so much time resenting him to even realize Charlie might’ve finally let him in.

“We’re friends?” Nate can’t help but ask and Charlie chuckles in the night air.

“Yeah man, as much as I hate to admit it. I feel like a real shit one right now for falling for your girl like that though” and it’s finally out there. A confirmation and in the open for Nate to hear. Somehow it’s more comforting to know then harmful.

“I don’t blame you, I’ve loved her since I was thirteen. She’s one in a million” Nate says staring at the ceiling he can barely make out in the darkness.

“Why didn’t you tell her then? All those years ago?” Charlie questions and Nate shrugs into his sheets, thinking of thirteen year old him too scared to say something to her.

“I felt silly. We had been friends so long and I thought it’d be weird. After a while I just didn’t want to face rejection” Nate admits, knowing how lame he sounds. Charlie wished he could understand that, considering he told everyone exactly how he felt about them his whole life.

“This is coming from your friend, not the guy going after your girl, but you waited too long man. You became someone trustworthy to her, someone to always fall back on, reliable. Once a girl starts seeing you like that you become the guy she goes to when other guys hurt her” Nate knows it isn’t a bad thing but Charlie is right. You either become reliable in a relationship or reliable to the point of a brother, and that’s why getting out of the friend zone was so hard.

“So I shouldn’t have waited around?” he asks curiously, realizing Charlie was wiser than he expected.

“No man and you shouldn’t wait around for anything. We have one life, why waste it? You never know when it’s going to end so everyday spent waiting is one that’s lost! Carpe Diem! Seize the day!” Charlie rants, excitement hitching in his voice, and when his words resonate within him he freezes. For the first time since Neil had died that burning passion had found its way out of him and in its midst he realized exactly what he had been doing. He hadn’t been seizing the day, he was wasting it. Wasting it because he was heartbroken and if Neil could see him now he’d be pissed.

“It sounds like you know” Nate tells him, feeling the statement rattle around in his brain and hearing Charlie’s heavy breathing from across the room.

“I do Nate and no life is worth living if you can’t get the things you want out of it” he says, finally realizing exactly why Neil might’ve made the decision he did.

“Have you Charlie?” Nate asks and Charlie starts to laugh. Laugh at his own pure stupidity for wasting all this God damn time.

“No but I plan on starting tomorrow if you want to start with me?” Charlie asks and Nate grins from ear to ear. Evelyn may never see him the way he wants him to but he finally had a friend. One he made on his own. He could get over her with a friend.

“Yeah, plus I’d like to finally see you getting out there” Nate tells him and Charlie wears a matching smile that the boy cannot see.

“Can I tell you something Nate, something you won’t tell anyone until I’m ready? I just need to hear myself say it” Charlie asks, his voice desperate and pleading. All around sad and Nate can tell from across the room.

“Yeah man, whatever you need” and Charlie feels the tears pool in his eyes. He stares at his own ceiling and takes a moment to breathe.

“My best friend Neil died. He was just seventeen and when something like that happens you find life isn’t really worth living for if they’re not around” Nate freezes at the words, the truth hidden deep within the boy who had seemed so broken. Now he knew why.

“I’m so sorry Charlie. No one should lose anyone that young” Nate offers and Charlie smiles, his tears sliding down the sides of his face and into his pillow.

“Yeah but if he was here right now he’d be telling you the same thing. He didn’t want to waste a second of his life and even if he died so young I can promise you he didn’t” and for the first time in months Charlie feels a weight being lifted from his chest. The suffocating feeling he had lived with for so long.

“Carpe diem then” Nate says, finally resonating with Charlie and the truth that he carries. He was a broken man who was just trying to find his way. It can’t be easy to lose your best friend and be expelled all at once.

“Seize the day”

Taglist: @eden-punk @linmichea1 @pursuedbyamemoryy @mynameisjxlia

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[krishakamal]

𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐘𝐀 𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐀

— Dwarkadhish x Dwarakeshwari

🦚 SYNOPSIS : When Krishna can't see his priya frowning in sadness, so, he comes up with a way to cheer her up.

🦚 KAMAL'S NOTE : This is just a work of fiction and nothing to do with the actual events. I just wanted to write something for Maa Rukmini and Krishna since there is not much. Hopefully I didn't cross the line. This fic made me hate the word 'hand' to be honest 😮‍💨. The devider is from this post.

Kamalnayan = Lotus like eyes, Sri = Mahalakshmi/Rukmini, Nupur = Anklet, Aradhya = Adored one, Arya = Honorable one.

Sweet wind blew past the raven locks, forcing them to dance on the rhythm with it. Dwarakeshwari, Rukmini Maharani, sat on the edge of the majestic water fountain. Her hand playing with the rippling cold water. The full moon shone brightly in the night's sky. The reflection of the moon in the water made Rukmini appear glowing.

Everything happened so suddenly. One day, she was writing a letter to Kanha to come and save her and the next she is now married to the said Manohari. Few days ago she came to Dwarka with her husband. People here are loving and welcoming to her but Rukmini could not help but miss her father and brothers.

Since day one she was their beloved princess but everything changed when Rukmi decided to prioritise his political friends and hate towards Krishna over her. Going against Rukmini, he rejected Krishna when he asked for her hand in marriage and then he fixed her marriage to that demon, Shishupal. Still, Rukmini loved her brother and wanted the best for them.

"Can't sleep?"

A sweet voice broke the silence of the night. Her hand stopped it's action. Rukmini heard quite footsteps advancing towards her as her heartbeat sped up. Even after loving him for years and being married to hi, Rukmini couldn't help but blush whenever he was around her.

Krishna walked up to Rukmini and sat right behind her. Their eyes met through the waters reflection but Rukmini averted her eyes away as a feeling of shyness took over, making Krishna chuckle. His wife, his Sri, can look into others eyes and put them in their places but she can't even look her Shyam. Oh! How much he yearns to see those beautiful kamalnayan.

"Could not sleep?" Krishna asked again, this time even more softer.

Rukmini nodded her head, giving him a quiet 'hum'. Krishna dipped his hand in water. Taking her hand in his, Krishna swayed them, feeling water pass through their fingers.

"So, what is bothering my beloved?"

Rukmini remained silent for a moment before speaking, "I was thinking about my people back home."

"Is that so?" Krishna wishpered, "Do you regret marrying me and coming he—"

Before he could finish, Rukmini had turned around and slammed her hand over his mouth, "What are you saying Madhav? I can never."

Rukmini felt his lips curling up into a smile against her palm. Krishna held her hand by his both hands and brought them down. But instead of letting go, Krishna clutches it even firmer.

"You are finally looking at me."

Rukmini gasped at the realisation and all the heat raised up her cheeks. As she quickly looked, Krishna took her chin between two fingers and made her face him again. Rukmini kept her head down.

Hay Bhagwan! My shy wife. Madhav thought to himself.

"Would you like to go somewhere......With me?" Krishna asked.

Rukmini nodded her head without any hesitation. Krishna stood up and held out a hand for her, "Sri?"

Rukmini placed her hand in and got up. Then Krishna started leading them out of the golden palace. They walked for at least 60 vighaṭi but neither of them seemed to mind. By day Krishna is mostly busy with work and Rukmini also has to play the mother goddess she is.

They don't get much time to spend together other than the night. They walked through the furnished road, hand in hand, under the starry night. At the end of the city was a forest. Krishna led her into it.

Moonlight failed to enter through the cover of tall tree branches. As the forest went darker, Rukmini, unknowingly, brought herself closer to Krishna. Though Krishna saw that, he didn't say anything because seeing how shy his Sri is, she might pull away.

"How far is the place, Madhav?" Rukmini asked when the road seemed to be endless. They couldn't stay out long. As the king and queen of Dwarka, work was already on their shoulders.

"Just a little more Sri." Krishna whispered, giving her hand a firm squeeze.

They walked a little more when Krishna suddenly stopped. Rukmini looked at him confused. Krishna released her hand and held up the jewelled flute. As Rukmini held the flute with care, Krishna went behind her and palmed over her eyes.

"Ma-Madhav?"

"Just a little more to go." Krishna whispered in her ear.

Rukmini trusted and started forwarding. Losing the ability to see, her other senses became stronger. The forest was silent. The sweet sound of their nupur chiming echoed through the silent woodland accompanied by occasional hooting of owls.

Krishna came to an abrupt stop, "Ready?"

Rukmini nodded impatiently, "Yes, Madhav."

Krishna slowly removed his hands. A bright light blinded Rukmini for a moment. She blinked her eyes to adjust to the light and when she saw scenery before her all she could do was gasp in surprise.

The place was glowing compared to the rest of the dark forest. Fireflies dancing with each other. Beautiful flowers are blooming all over the place. Birds like peacocks, parrots, owls, flying like it's broad daylight. Then there is deers, red panda, horses and many more playing like friends.

"Madhav, what place is this? This looks like it is Vaikuntha."

"This place is Divya aranya. Do you like it?"

"This place is heavenly. Why didn't you bring me here earlier?" Rukmini breathed out, failing to look away.

Krishna sat on the ground with his hack leaning on a big tree. While Rukmini admired the magical forest, Krishna admired his ārādhya. Her eyes sparkled like gold, taking in everything. When she was done she came and sat beside Madhav.

"How did this come here?" Rukmini felt like a child, seeing the world for the first time even though she herself was Devi Mahalakshmi.

"That…….is a story for another time. Just know that there was this man who created this place because he couldn't see his priya frowning in sadness." Mischievousness swimmed in his eyes.

Rukmini smiled with a knowing look. She really had completely forgotten about her previous sadness with her brother. Which gave Krishna relief. The last thing he wanted was for her to be sad. That too in his presence.

Rukmini felt a different sense of boldness as she dropped her head on his shoulder. When the sun goes up they will be pulled into the same work routine. So, Rukmini wanted to savour these moments as much as possible.

"Can we stay here a little longer?" Rukmini asked softly and he replied back, "As long as you want."

Rukmini's eyes fell on the flute in her hand, the divine flute that everyone praises.

"Arya, you have never played your flute for me, have you?"

Krishna laughed, "Every rag, every sur, every dhun that I play, is for you, my Sri. If not you, then I have no reason to even exist."

He sure is a ladies' man. Rukmini thought as her cheeks became red.

Rukmini gave him his flute back, "Play something for me, won't you, Arya?"

"Anything for you, Sri."

Krishna took the flute, placing his lips on it, he started playing the most madhur dhun she had ever heard. The aranya became more joyful, birds danced with the melody, animals became hypnotised with how enchanting it was.

And Darkeswari drifted into the dreamland with her head resting on her beloved's shoulder and hearing the madhur dhun.

© 𝐊𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 — all content rights belongs to KRISHAKAMAL. Do not plagiarize any works and do not repost or translate onto any other sites.

All the rights and credits of the characters, gifs, songs and pictures used here belongs to their rightful owners.

[joleneghoul]

This is going to be less of an essay and more of a disorganized infodump where I just ramble about my favorite character Rip has a relationship with and that's Jeff Smith.

I actually find Jeff to be more important to Rip's entire story and character background than Booster. There will also be some mentions of Bonnie because the Rip, Jeff & Bonnie dynamic is pretty important.

Though partially that is because the erasure of Jeff is what has made Rip such a boring character to read within post 90s Booster Gold stuff.

Jeff Smith is probably one of my favorite characters nobody really knows about and comics forgot about (until recently, but I'll get to that).

To sum it up quickly, Jeff is Rip Hunter's partner in the broad sense of the term. He was Rip's mechanic, his best friend, his scientific other half, and even once a cowboy (howdy).

More under the cut because this info-dump got long!

Jeff was Rip's partner from Rip's first ever appearance in showcase #20 and stuck with him onward to the 90s. While the stories had Rip's name on them, Rip and Jeff were postured as more of a duo than otherwise.

Bonnie and her brother Corky were along for the story but not as front and center as Jeff and Rip, hell even the story starts with Rip telling them to stay home while him and Jeff test their time machine by going on a jaunt to the prehistoric together.

The time sphere was first and foremost a creation of Jeff and Rip's scientific and mechanical prowess put together. I find it more interesting this way than if Rip were some sort of solo genius.

Later within the Rip Hunter series from the 60s-70s Jeff Still plays the role of Rip's partner, even saving Rip's life multiple times over. A characteristic that is strengthened as time goes on with Jeff is that he is the more calculated and thoughtful one of the pair. This remains the case in the Time Masters 1991 series.

Jeff, much like everyone gets a redesign for this series and a bit more heft to his character motives/personality. This is a series (while not good) that follows a linear story line instead of a collection of adventures so it was needed. I honestly only reread issues of this series for Jeff because I like the way him and Rip's relationship is handled here, as it strengthens the fact that pushing others away can only hurt everyone involved and being alone can be worse than your fears.

He is introduced not only as Rip's partner but his best friend. According to Rip, Jeff is one of his only close friends on account of his obsessive personality. A lot of Rip's own characterization in my opinion mirrors someone who has OCD. His obsession becoming stopping what he saw the future became while in Booster Gold vol 1. Hell...Will Magnus tells him he's paranoid.

Specifically I think the relationship Rip has to his paranoia and fears vs the relationships he has with others is really interesting. This, while comes up with Rip's relationship to Bonnie, is shown mostly with his connection to Jeff.

Jeff throughout the series is the one to break through to Rip even as he pushes others away at everyone's expense. This is shown in the start when Jeff breaks Rip out of spiraling overthinking, bringing him back with his logical thinking. Then all the way to the end when Jeff comes up with the idea of how to fix the time sphere, while Rip was caught up in his own paranoia and had at that point pushed everyone else away or caused them to leave him.

ALSO Jeff has to tell Rip to trust BOOSTER, who in retrospect is Rip's father. I just find that interesting.

Now, I'm going to be talking about subtext which is just how I interpreted things not saying they were intentional but it's just what I picked up on. Also I have a lot to say about how Bonnie is treated I really hate it because she's so disrespected when shes supposed to be equals to Rip but- a rant for another time ig.

The relationship between Jeff, Bonnie, and Rip (and Cave but not really tbh) are at the forefront of the interpersonal drama. It's worth mentioning that every scene Bonnie has romantically with a man (like Jeff or Cave) is mirrored immediately with Jeff and Rip. Specifically usually when Bonnie struggling with her own relationships vs when Jeff and Rip are coming together.

There is when Jeff shows up to Rip's office in a green trench coat (not pictured in this panel bc he took it off) and sits on Rip's desk to tell him he'll be his partner. Then within the same issue Bonnie in her green trench coat trying to seduce Cave (who is HER scientific partner) by getting on his desk- but then getting rejected.

Then again when Jeff chooses to leave Bonnie (in bed) to go be with Rip VS the end of that issue when Rip solemnly makes the choice to leave Jeff (in bed) to go chase his own hubris. (later we see Bonnie make the choice to steal the time sphere and go live in the future and make her own life teaching people post nuclear war, thank god she didn't end up with any of these men after all that)

Also side note- When Jeff and Rip go to ancient Atlantis together that's practically the first time in issues we see either of them really happy since like, issue 2. The only thing that tips Rip off is once again when someone brings up his paranoia. Also they get these gay earrings.

Anyways at the end because Rip ends up alone, without Jeff who was his only close friend, Rip realizes that time changes everything and to not be so worried about the literal end of the world- and that hopefully in time even he can change and be a better person to others.

....WHICH I feel is totally ignored and thrown away later on when Rip returns as Boosters son and Jeff was erased from the picture entirely (Bonnie still managed some appearances in other media but Jeff did not- not even in lot so I've heard..which is odd because that was inspired BY time masters). Rip became characterized as the lone mysterious savant who always has a plan (or can easily figure one out).

Despite the reader knowing his secret that he is Booster's son, we do not tend to get to see much of their family relationship since Rip is more shown as a mentor than anything else. Otherwise Rip is used as a narrative device for stories to bring in a little time travel spice if Booster or that one treadmill isn't available.

I actually find the more interesting Booster and Rip interactions being the ones where Rip is shown to be overwhelmed, in the wrong, or confused instead of the "guy who knows everything". Sadly we don't get to see this often.

Jeff after over 30 years has come back to comics but not in a way I really like, he just doesn't feel like himself at all but neither does any of the time masters. We haven't seen him much yet but I'm just not excited because the reason we have this "loner" characterization of Rip still is because of the same writer who's bringing them back- and yet again its a case of "Rip is running around alone" "ah that's just Rip". Like I thought we went over why that's bad for him LOL.

Anyways I guess the moral of this infodump/rant is this:

FUN FACT TIME:

Jeff and Rip met at MIT where they were both top of their classes!

He is as smart as Rip who is classified officially as a super-genius.

Jeff according to the DC ttrpg books is as wealthy as Ted Kord was when he was still apart of Kord industries.

He also apparently has connections to the Metal Men and Magnus still while Rip does not.

[targaryenluvs]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒? - 𝐂.𝐒

summary: the one where you get dragged to your older brothers golf tournament and end up drooling over a another player. only problem? he’s your best friends brother.  

pairings: carlos sainz x female reader

warnings: vulgar language, bfb trope, teasing, bad spanish translations :) age gap (6+ years)

word count: 1.7k words

A/N: (reader is envisioned as being of indian/asian descent, but you don’t necessarily need to think of it that way. it’s just most fics have white readers and i’m not so :) so just know she is described as dark skinned also - let me know for a potential part 2 )

You sat in the car as you stared out the window, you had never felt more annoyed.

Context? Today was your best friend Madelyn's joint birthday with your other best friend Sayda. They were turning 21! They could legally drink and all, well, in America. Anywhere else they could as well. You, on the other hand, were still stuck on 20. You had planned your present for the two of them for over 2 months. And after all that, you were told you couldn't attend.

Your parents somehow tied you to familial obligations at the age of 20.

You knew you could say no, your family did too. But they knew how to play on your guilt. You knew that if you declined they wouldn't put up a fight but you’d know they were disappointed, You'd feel it in every glare, their words, everything. And guilt trips aren't your ideal idea of trips.

The familial obligations ended up being attending your older brother's golf tournament. 3 hours of watching older men profusely sweat their asses off on a stupid game. Which seemed like a punishment for a crime, only problem? You had no idea what crime you’d committed. As the car slowed down and you pulled into the parking lot you inhaled, only exhaling once you parked.

  This was going to be the death of you.

“Y/n come on." Your mother said as she opened her car door. You turned to grab your purse and sunglasses before exiting. The entire golf course was packed. Food stalls lined the entrance and multiple people were hanging around, watching their family and friends.

But everyone, unlike you, was happy. Your parents walked in front as you followed, they picked up keys to a golf buggy, while you grabbed your own. You slung your purse on as you got in, turning the key. You all made our way over to the '20s to 30's side of the course.

Your brother, Ravi, was only 6 years older than you and was participating in the competition. And as you parked your buggy you finally took notice of the golfers. Unlike the entrance of the course, everyone here was, well, not old. But that was obvious since it was the 20-30 side of the competition.

Basically, the competition was split into age groups. Juniors are 15 to 19, then there's 20 to 30, 40 to 60 then seniors who are 60 and up. All the participants were well fit. A bunch of hot guys partially too old for you in tight polo shirts, sweating on a 30-degree day?

Maybe your parents dragging you here was actually beneficial.

Well, to you mostly.

"Guys! Over here!" A voice shouted over the murmuring of the crowd, Ravi. Your mother took my hand and led me through the sea of people. As if you couldn't yourself. Fair to say you let her, sometimes she's, uh, coddling.

(Which is a total understatement)

Ever since you graduated and moved out of your mother’s been looking for ways for you to need her. To the point where you’re starting to think being a mother might've taken up more parts of her life than you thought. "Thanks for coming today."

Ravi wrapped his arms around you as you returned the embrace. "I thought you weren't coming? Isn't it Madelyn and Sayda's birthday today?" You sighed, "It is, but I was sort've-" Your father's glare from behind your mother had you swallowing your words. "I just, uh, wanted to support you."

Internally, you wanted to shout, 'Well actually I'm too nice of a fucking person to turn down plans even if I have something else planned because I absolutely despise the idea of hurting someone's feelings. And, I know how it feels to be turned down and it sucks ass. So no, I'm not here because I want to be, and yes it is their birthday party and I don't know if I'll be able to get there in time.'

But then again, you were too nice for that.

"Oh, well thanks again."

To anyone else, it would've seemed like a normal response, but then again you knew what he meant. 'You were dragged here, I know. I'm sorry.'

You smiled at him as he smiled back. "So, when is it all starting?" You questioned him, in hope of deterring the conversation. "In a minute or two."

"There's seats over there. If you need anything let me know okay?" He said as he hugged you one last time before you took your place with your parents.

As you say you actually found yourself enjoying the tournament, to your surprise. But the heat was definitely getting to you, swiftly getting up you turned to your parents as you let them know where you were going.

You took your purse with you as you made your way over to the food stalls, wanting a smoothie. A high pitched squeal rang through your ears as you were wrapped in a warm hug.

"Y/n! What're you doing here?" Sayda asked you, "Ravi's playing! Or competing, whatever you call it." Sayda smiled, "So is my brother!" Sayda beamed as you replied, "Really? Oh my god I didn't even know he was in town!"

"Aha, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. If I can, I'll introduce you to him. And if not now, he'll be at my birthday party tonight." Confusion warped your facial expression as you asked, "What does he l-" Your friend Madelyn approached the pair of you,  "Oh my god! Y/n you're here too!"

You smiled at her, "Yeah, sadly. Why're you guys here, I thought you had the party?" You asked the two, "Since Sayda's brother is in town and he rarely is, he wanted to participate in the stupid golf tournament so we pushed the party back so that he could make it."

You nodded, "I have a few things to do before the party so I have to get going. But I'll see you guys later." She said as she hugged us once last time before leaving the queue.

Yourself and Madelyn were almost at the front of the line as she whispered, "Avoid her brother okay? If she asks if you want to meet him? Run. Away." You looked at her as if she'd just punched you in the face, "What? Why?"

Madelyn looked at you dead straight.

"Because he's so fucking hot."

  You laughed, maybe a little louder than you should have, "That's your reason?" Madelyn or Madi as you called her, whacked your arm, "I'm serious. So many of our friends have crushes on him. And he's dated a few of Saydas friends. Literally, none of those relationships worked out and Sayda stopped being friends with most of them."

"Did she know about the relationships?" Madi nodded, "Yeah, but none of them worked out because he's always busy with his job. Plus he cheated on half of them. But he's so good at manipulating I swear, he manages to convince everyone that 'The breakup was mutual' or 'She cheated'. And everyone believes him because, well, I don't know."

You smiled, "I won't calm down. Plus maybe those relationships did end on good terms?" You asked hopefully. "Maria walked in on him with Isa." The smile on your face dropped immediately. "Okay then." The two of you ordered your drinks and food afterwards, returning to her private birthday tent. Lucky.

You sat back and watched on, it came down to the last hole. Each player had 3 shots to get the golf ball in or you lost. The last two competitors were your brother and another guy. He was tall, definitely more so than you, his hair looked fluffy, and he had stubble and gorgeous brown eyes.

The polo shirt he was wearing was definitely not helping, you could even see his toned body through it. His forehead was glistening with sweat. And as you were about to go to the toilet the man lifted his shirt to wipe off the sweat.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

You walked as fast as possible without looking suspicious, but at this point you weren’t so sure if you cared anymore. You grabbed your phone and began to spam Maddi. 

Maddi 💕

To Maddi; i swear to fucking god bro

To Maddi; this guy looks unreal 

To Maddi; i think im gonna jump his ass or som because MY GOD 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🙏🏽

From Maddi; y/n, you’re going insane, leave the man alone 😭

To Maddi; you haven’t seen him once you do you’ll understand 👍🏽

From Maddi; will i tho?

To Maddi; yes you will bitch 🔪  i’ll point him out when i get back <33

You looked at yourself in the mirror while trying to compose yourself. Taking a deep breath you opened the door of the bathroom to be met with a rolling golf ball, stopping just at your feet. You kneeled down to pick it up and as you did you heard footsteps getting closer to you.

“Mierda! Hi, yes, uh sorry do you uh pass the ball back?” 

Fuck. To your luck the guy you were gushing about stood in front of you, still sweaty, but his hair was messier and his breathing staggered. But he looked so fucking good to the point where you dismissed his extended right hand entirely. “Hello? Are you okay?” He asked as he stared intently.

“Uh oh yeah! Uhm sorry I was just-” 

“Staring at me?” 

“No! Well yes I was staring but not in a creepy way. I was just- your eyes?” 

Even though you missed his extended hand you didn’t miss the evident smirk which came across his face as he stood in front of you, stepping ever so close to you, his hand brushed a loose piece of hair from your cheek as he whispered, 

“Keep the ball. Gives me a reason to find you again.”  

And with that he swiftly turned, distancing himself from you. But not without winking over his shoulder at you. You could feel your cheeks begin to burn up, but at least it wasn’t noticeable. More complimentary to your darker skin. 

The golf ball suddenly drew your attention as your thumb grazed over indebts, looking down you noticed an ordinary company name, but then, to the side, initials.

C.S

[thislovintime]

Photo 1 by Gene Trindl/Alamy Stock Photo, photo 2 by Gabe Palacio/ImageDirect.

“I won’t go nearly so far as to say that everything that came up in the 60’s was valid, but as far as I’m concerned, the 60’s were to what will come as Greece was to democracy. Remember that in the 60’s the political officeholders had lost all touch with the needs of the nation…kind of like the Bush administration now. Back then the voice of the establishment, Life magazine, was discovered to have doctored photos falsely indicating that LSD caused chromosomal damage. That proved what we (then) kids already knew: that those at the top preached fair play and honesty, but had no more need to honor those concepts than what would give them the next dollar without too much trouble. We saw perfectly clearly that we were on our own, that no one in authority cared about us. Now, like any bunch of kids left to their own devices, some, many, went off the rails. Every false step by somebody walking around under the cloak of the liberal hippy 60’s was used as a pretext for dissing the entire generation. Those of us who were truly interested in liberty, fraternity and equality, however, knew we were onto something good and real. What had been called democracy was, and to some extent still is, a pretext for wrapping the will of the greedy and aggressive in a mantle of public acquiescence. Now, the business of wresting power away from those who make a specialty of wielding it will be a long and protracted struggle, with a lot of setbacks along the way. The outlines of the new style of governance are only dimly perceivable, and won’t become clear for a long time to come. In the meantime, our job is to practice the principles of fairness and service to the extent possible. One thing is clear: there is a much higher joy in service than there is in acquisition of wealth. (Remember that it isn’t money that’s the root of all evil, it’s the love of money.) Hanging together in brother - and sisterhood is so happy-making you want to sing right out loud. Yeah, I feel the same about those ideas as I did then…in case you couldn’t tell. heheheh, Peter” - Ask Peter Tork

“I believe very much in all that I believed in back in the 60’s. I hope I’m more aware of the practicalities than I was then, but I am positive that the values and principles I held then are critical to the well-being of the planet, or at the very least, critical to growth and contentment in the population. As to the practicalities: the chance of no more war in our lifetimes is so close to zero that I don’t imagine it possible, tho’ there well may be progress along these lines. May be. Sometimes I see the world as an eternal horse race between salvation and dissolution, now one, and now the other gaining the lead. But to the extent that we can learn, each and all of us, that the cooperative good is good for the greatest individual good (with safeguards, to be sure), that forgiveness is the route to true inner peace, and that not everything we deem wrong or bad may be so, to that extent hassles of all shapes, sizes and colors will diminish. I am so sure of all this that I would, I hope, be willing to bet my life on these principles.” - Peter, Ask Peter Tork (x / x)

[jw-horror-stories]

Oh, boy, let me think of some good stories. I was fortunate enough that my family never tried to pressure baptism on me (My grandfather did, but only once). I never got baptized because of this.

I also lucked out in that I don't have any creepy old man stories, or anything else of that nature.

I DO have trauma from they way they use the world 'homosexual'.

Once, when my sister was like, 5? She made a board game all by herself, using paper. It was called 'Run Away from the Demons and Go to Jesus.' There were some awesome stick figure demons. Jeezy Boy, however, did not make it into the picture.

My parents had a good sense of humor about it, though.

I vividly remember reading a Watchtower article discussing a man who had a 'homosexual lifestyle' before coming into 'the truth'. He prayed to God and it went away tho!!! Prommy!!!!

(I feel so bad for him and I hope he realizes he doesn't have to do that.)

If I get anymore crazy stories, I'll let you know (I'm a minor and am stilled being brought every Sunday).

As soon as I sent that last ask I remembered a story! I had to listen to a talk given by a brother who clearly did NOT research evolution outside of the JW publications. He said (all in his talk about EVOLUTION): - There is NO evidence for evolution. None. Not even a bit. Not a single piece. Nada. - The sun will never run out of (quote) "fuel". (I don't remember how this tied in at all. Chances are it didn't.) - If bees died there would NO POLLINATORS. AT ALL. No more bees; no more anything!!!! (He literally said that without bees no flowers would ever be pollinated. Man has not seen a butterfly. Tragic.) - AI stands for AUTOMATED INFORMATION. (He did mean actual AI, he used this talking point as a 'gotchya' because humans cannot come close to creating a brain. Therefore: God.) - Evolution is being taught EXACTLY THE SAME as it was 60 years ago. (Tell me you've never looked into it without telling me you've never look into it.) The only difference is when HE was a kid it was a THEORY but now it's taught as a FACT. (No???) - Things NEVER crash in space because GOD is guiding them! (???? Man said this DURING a meteor shower btw) - Ants are NOT STRONG. (What. What are you talking about.) In the same line as the previous note he DID say elephants are strong. This is evidence of god's POWER. (I nearly had to leave the room. Elephants are evidence of god's power but ANTS are not???) This was all in one 45 minute talk. He bounced from point to point so much that it was too hard to follow and he just said straight-up untrue things half the time. If it wasn't so infuriating, it would have been funny.

Hoo boi, lots to unpack here, so let me just get everything done in one ultimate post.

The first part about the homosexuality, all I can say is that more likely than not the article you mentioned was most likely fictitious, or at least greatly embellished (probably involved a slightly girly man, or a slightly boyish woman, all that GNC shit they don't like).

And now, that 45 minute indoctrination session talk you heard.

There is NO evidence for evolution - yeah we were always at war with Eurasia. Okay, not quite that level of Orwell, but it's still bad. And also laughably stupid.

The sun will never run out of (quote) "fuel". - all part of a large over-arching narrative of "god has god powers so sun is forever and so is humans"

If bees died there would NO POLLINATORS - nevermind the butterflies for a moment, if such a cataclysmic mass extinction of bees did happen, flowers that do not need pollination would overtake the gene pool, and oh look, evolution. Those that survive the new conditions would take over. Funny that.

AI stands for AUTOMATED INFORMATION - I keep reading AI as "Accuracy International". Hey, if he can put in irrelevant nonsense then so can I. Only difference is I'm not pulling any bullshit here. Look them up, pretty cool, but autistic infodumping will have to wait.

Evolution is being taught EXACTLY THE SAME as it was 60 years ago - You can tell roughly how old this speaker was. Hey gramps, your information is pretty outdated, have you finally switched over to Windows 98 yet?

Things NEVER crash in space because GOD is guiding them! - Oh okay, so his knowledge of magnetic fields would imply that he's yet to discover the automobile. Or that it costs more than $5 a day for a good living wage. Does he even know about the Printing Press?

Ants are NOT STRONG - ok boomer

ngl it was actually kinda fun to respond to those talking points, just because of how utterly absurd it all is. I find that laughing at it rather than trying to understand the reasoning is ultimately better for one's mental health.

-Mod Degurechaff, needs more shit to respond to

[bohemian-nights]

Swear Daemyra shippers are the only ones whom can look at a man teach his niece who at the time was a minor by real standards and fantasy standards sex acts, and say he loved her. I was reading a fic where Daemyra popped up in the background and they had Daemon say “I’ve loved Rhaenyra since the time she was a girl” and it’s like no shit. Then again in the show it’s just so…. Like I can acknowledge that Matt and Mily had chemistry (which would’ve been great for a book!Daemyra where he is very cleary a groomer) but even then all their scenes had an underlying pervy feel to them. Also Daemon is always ABANDONING Rhaenyra when it counts. Instead of staying with her after the death of her brother and mother he goes out drinking and makes the “heir for a day” comment. Then ( knowing Dragonstone is the seat reserved for the heir) he takes possession of Dragonstone (which also could’ve lowered her standing as heir) and the dragon egg that Rhaenyra placed in the cradle of Baelon. Then he leaves her alone for three years fighting in what was technically an illegal war before coming back and trying to ruin her reputation in order to attain the throne. He does this by taking her a crown Princess into a whore house, ensures that she will be recognized, engages in light sexual content with her before leaving her ALONE in a whore house half naked. And the worse part? Not a single fuck was given. Then later on at her wedding she practically begs him to take her to Dragonstone and marry her. In response to this he marries another woman (who he also treat like shit R.I.P to book!Daemon and Laena). Fast forward ten years where they (on the day of his wife’s funeral) have sex on the beach (sex that didn’t even look pleasurable) and she wakes up ALONE. Mind you prior to the sex she’s essentially begging him to fuck her as well. Following him around like a lost dog. Then we once again have the begging for marriage only this time he accepts. Fast forward down the line he’s not showing any support really in Kings Landing (why didn’t he go with Rhaenyra to talk to Rhaenys) but yeah he killed a man for her so the fandom ate that shit up. Back on Dragonstone she experiences a still brith where she calls out and begs for him so she won’t be alone and he just doesn’t come(I’ve seen some people excuse this staying maybe he had trauma from Laena so I’m 60/40 on it) and then upon learning that she doesn’t want to immediately jump to WAR he chokes the shit out of her.

Their fans are special.

Even if you want to take out the obvious grooming or only want to focus on book canon, Daemon still ends up abandoning her after she ordered him to return back to her, saving another woman(Nettles) after she ordered her to be beheaded in her sleep, and then either offs himself or lives out his days with Nettles.

How they turned that into Daemon died to defeat her greatest enemy(which the text specifically states is Daeron and not Aemond) will never not be absolutely hilariously.

If you only want to consider the show as canon(why?), he’s physically abused her (and is allegedly going to do so again) and abandoned her on countless occasions (after seeing her beg for him to love her 23 million times) with no concern for her physical or mental well-being.

(The trauma excuse is a poor one when he chokes her out 5 seconds later. That is not how you respond to trauma or your brother dying).

Book canon, show canon, grooming, no grooming, it doesn’t matter. It’s a hot mess any way you slice it(which is why they start crying when you bring out the actual text).

I get morally ambiguous ships(all but one of my favorite ships fall into this category). Still, I don’t get shipping something where the guy outright does not care about whether the woman lives or dies and then claiming that those who aren’t deluded are the crazy ones. This shit is straight up pathetic.

I’m all about ship what you want, but these are the same people calling characters the n-word and actively wanting a Black character to be cut cause she “gets in the way” of their ship so they use the excuse that there are already enough Black people on the show. So if this comes off harsh it’s because this ship attracts racist assholes who need psychiatric help on top of them being so fucking delusional they can’t see the forest from the trees.

[vigilskeep]

Do you understand how Kirkwall politics work? Ik theres a viscount but like…is it just viscount and Templar’s? Three people?

i don't know a lot off the top of my head but let's take a look!

kirkwall is ruled by a viscount. it does seem to be a hereditary position, but if the viscount has no heirs or the line is otherwise removed from power, kirkwall's nobility have the right to elect a new viscount. so there's definitely an established noble class who have a powerful say in what happens. world of thedas lists the amells, the threnholds, and the reinhardts as the most powerful hightown houses at the start of the dragon age, but both the amells and threnholds collapsed before da2. (prior to their collapse, the amells were one of the foremost noble families in the whole free marches, with four centuries of history to their bloodline.) we interact with families like the harrimanns and de launcets in da2 and leandra mentions the reinhardts still being around.

viscounts' lines don't seem particularly long-lasting; marlowe dumar is the first in his. his predecessor perrin threnhold inherited the role from his father, but the father was also first in his short-lived line and "took power through a campaign of intimidation" rather than just, like, inheriting it. (this is confirmed by a codex stating the threnholds only came to power less than a week after maric retook the fereldan throne.) the implication is that saemus dumar would have been a potential heir to marlowe had he lived, but i don't remember anyone taking this possibility seriously in the game and given his politics i'm sure the nobility and templars alike would never remotely consider allowing it

the title of viscount was introduced by the orlesians, who ruled kirkwall from 7:60 storm to 8:05 blessed after liberating it from a four-year qunari occupation. they also introduced the kirkwall city guard, a force answerable to the viscount. the people of kirkwall threw out the orlesians but kept the title and the associated guard.

the templars have no official control of the city. however, the viscount's office is effectively so weak by the time of da2 that it is impossible to hold without templar support. this is because of what happened under viscount dumar's predecessor, viscount perrin threnhold. brother genitivi refers to perrin as "even worse" than his "vicious thug" father. perrin used those ancient chains in kirkwall's harbour to block orlesian ships and charge exorbitantly heavy taxes on them. this was naturally a poorly received move in orlais but also in kirkwall, as it limited trade, the lifeblood of the city. divine beatrix iii, who the codex claims was acting "as a friend to the emperor", ordered the templars to pressure the viscount into stopping, despite knight-commander guylian having refused similar requests from kirkwall's nobles and insisting even to the divine that their place was to protect the city from magic not from itself. perrin responded by hiring a mercenary army—odd that it wasn't the city guard, possibly implying they turned against him in favour of the nobles?—that ultimately stormed the gallows and executed guylian, with the intention of expelling the templars entirely from the city. in the end perrin was arrested, and presumably executed, if his successor being gifted his blood-encrusted signet ring as a threat is anything to go by. this seems to have been well received in kirkwall; the templars "were hailed as heroes". guylian was replaced with meredith, who personally directly appointed marlowe dumar

meredith's choice is an interesting one. the dumars were noble, but considerably modest compared to other noble families, with some of their income from trade that the dumars personally oversaw (traditional noble income tending to come from landowning, with actually having a job being looked down upon). marlowe's wife wasn't noble or an arranged match, only the daughter of a prosperous cartographer. meredith told marlowe that he chose him because he was "humble" as opposed to the "entitled degenerates" she considered the rest of the nobility, but it's obvious this wasn't merely her respecting the value of hard work. she openly threatened him on instalment to the office she had chosen him for. instead of appointing a strong viscount who could restore the office, allowing the templars to step back, meredith had none of guylian's scruples, and appointed a weak one the templars would continue to control. "the knight-commander's influence was evident in almost every one of marlowe's decisions."

this turned into more of an essay on recent kirkwall history than an explanation, but hopefully some of it's helpful in fleshing out the landscape. as a further note as well as the nobility i would expect merchants, guilds, etc. to hold massive influence in a city built on trade. there's a reason for example that the dwarven merchants' guild is visibly extremely well-established in kirkwall with its own large area in hightown; not the most trustworthy source but varric also claims they have "fingers in all these pies" in the lowtown market and own every tavern in hightown. i very much doubt human merchants are letting the dwarves have all the fun so it can be reasonably assumed they hold similar influence

[docholligay]

Wintering by Peter Geye

The absolute best moment of this book:

“History and memory aren’t the same thing.” “How are they different? “History doesn’t abide acts of the imagination but memories depend on it. And memories are as much what we’ve forgotten as what we recall. History cannot be forgotten” (as a history girlie, I don't even AGREE, but I love love the ideas in that and definitely find them worth engaging with)

Trying to think of what I would say about this book that's not spoilery, and isn't quite as dismissive as I think I could sound about it. Because there are a lot of redeeming qualities in this book. But, at core, it's what I'm going to very reductively call, "A book for your 60 year old dad" It's a bildungsroman about mustache twirling evil in a small town, the seduction and purity of nature but especially survivalism against the elements, and realizing your parents don't know what the fuck they're doing.

Doc, uh, don't you love the purity of survival against the elements? Well, yes, I am your 60 year old dad also, and I can have a LOT of fun with a fuckin...Call of the Wild moment. Join me in spoiler town for the rest

I think the issue is not, "Learning what sort of man you are up against the freezing winter on the border between Minnesota and Canada." I think those things are in fact very clarifying. But. There has to be more to carry the book, and a lot of what resonates with the author doesn't resonate with me.

Geye makes a big deal out of Harry, Gus' father. I called it a bildungsroman and I guess it is but as I'm sitting here, I think it's actually more about Harry and Gus' reactions to Harry, even after he's fucking dead, then it is about Gus himself. I could tell you everything about Harry only a handful of things about Gus. It's about Harry and how Harry is a great guy and comes from a long line of good men who were involved with shitty women, but don't worry Berit waited for him until his wife left because he was so great and she knew from the outset it was only him for her. Which is actually a larger problem with this novel: Women are bitches or dogs. But I am not going to be harsh enough to call it misogynist because the flat characters are nearly everyone who isn't Harry, so at that point its just a blind spot.

Speaking of, my GOD, what a mustache twirling villain. To the point of, I shit you not, pushing his disabled war hero brother into the open hole of a cliff fall. That is not a joke I made, that is me recounting the tale to you.

So, why don't you say the story is awful, full stop? Because when its focused on the nature, and the winter, and the fact that Harry has clearly imagined this wintering as a vehicle for revenge more than anything, and that he has endangered his son in order to try and get his moment with Charlie, that nothing else about this fucking mattered, it has moments of brilliance. The lack of planning and an end, the map made up of imagined lakes and rivers out of a romantic sense of exploration, the mercy of nature and the borderlands against its harshness, the moose eaten by wolves because they were tangled into each others' horns from a fight. (But of course despite what would have been brilliant foreshadowing, Harry can't die here)

Harry is so great that he doesn't even die when he dies, he wanders off into the winter woods and they do not find his body I am not making a joke I am not joking.

[zaddyazula]

i am actually very, very worried for kids today who have grown up on this internet. when i was younger i was watching people play fucking yandere simulator and 60 seconds and the sims. now they’re watching andrew tate say they need ten thousand super cars to be successful in life.

my 11 year old brother (with access to tiktok the dreaded thing) is watching these sigma giga chad males and thinking that is who he should be. he is consuming insane amounts of homophobic, transphobic, racist, islamophobic, anti-semitic, fatphobic and misogynistic media, and openly repeats a majority of it to me. seeing him make highly inappropriate jokes not only for his age but in general is not cool or entertaining, as he thinks they are completely acceptable. he parrots this shit with his friends, who all share the same viewpoint as him. when i was his age, i was discovering bisexuality existed. i used to keep a diary for a short period of time when i was in year 5 (10 years old) and one line in it was: ‘i don’t know if i am gay, lesbian, bi or trans’ (bless my 10 year old self). i had no hatred for people in the lgbtq+ community, because i was largely unaware of it, outside of a couple people i knew. there wasn’t tiktok to tell young kids how to think or how to treat people. the amount of shit my brother has come out to me with, even insulting me with. literally last night my 11 YEAR OLD brother called me a whore. ELEVEN (11). multiple times he’s called me a dishwasher, told me to get back in the kitchen, called me a slut, a whore, etc. etc. i used to take it as a joke, and not think too much of it, but i’m starting to think it’s not a joke at all, just genuine misogyny. he’s come up to me and called black people monkeys, called muslims suicide bombers, and every time i tell him to not say that because it’s extremely offensive and even threaten to take his xbox off him and tell our mum or someone at school, he doesn’t care. he literally just does not give a shit. and to be perfectly honest, the school system to tackle discrimination is fucking horrendous. when i was at school a (white) girl in my year called someone the n word, and what did the school do? absolutely nothing. people confronted her about it (rightfully) which came off as ‘bullying’ and she didn’t have to go to any lessons and got to stay in the building where the nurse was. at my brother’s school this year, a boy in his year (another white 11 year old) called someone the n word. he got moved into the other class. that’s it. both of our schools claimed to be “diverse” and anti-xenophobia (even though my school had a maximum 3 poc staff). like how do you even deal with this?

my (white cishet) brother thinks it’s okay to say the n word. he thinks it’s okay to be islamophobic. he thinks it’s okay to be misogynistic. i actually have no idea how to deal with him, or the other kids his age. when i was his age i don’t even think i knew the n word existed. i certainly didn’t know the word misogyny.

as soon as you try to stand up to these fucking devil children, they will hurl some sort of slur at you. some insane insult which leaves you standing there like ‘how the fuck do they know that’. i doubt my brother or other kids his age actually understand what some of the things they say mean, and just say them because they know they’re bad words.

what the fuck do i even do with him. we come from a white irish catholic family. if my grandparents knew i was some inkling of lgbtq+ they probably would’ve disowned me. my own mother outed me to my uncles and her boyfriend’s daughter and her boyfriend. when i started crying when she told me this, she didn’t understand. she thought i was just upset about the fact that my nan was dead. one of my friends nearly outed me to a very homophobic kid in my year when i was 12. and it sort of leaves me wishing i had never come out. life would be so much easier if people just assumed i was cishet. but that’s not possible. i thought people would be supportive. though my own family and friends have openly been homophobic and transphobic around me, seemingly forgetting about me.

my brother calls me gay as an insult, and despite the fact i insist i’m not gay (i am) he just laughs and moves on until the cycle repeats. i don’t really want to be some saviour white person who thinks they can solve racism by wagging their finger at someone and then forgetting about it. i actually want to help my brother realise he should stop fucking saying what he’s saying. if that means me fucking taking his xbox off him and putting it in the loft then so fucking be it. i genuinely have no idea how to help the younger generation who have grown up on racist tiktoks rather than beheading videos on early youtube.

so yeah. this isn’t what i usually post but whatever. i am genuinely worried.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Red-Headed League Pt 2

until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter.

Professional people being professional. Mmhm. You'd think a doctor would be better at keeping a straight face, I'm pretty sure humans have been sticking inappropriate things in inappropriate places since time immemorial. But these two are giggling like school boys. A lovely image, but I'd be a bit mad if they did it to me. I can't blame Mr Wilson for being mad at them.

Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground-floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of any such body. Then I asked him who Mr Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.

Surprising no one at all. I said it in my comments about the first part, but I love how this whole scam has been echoed in heist shows/films right up to modern day. Acquire offices under false pretences, create hype around fake business, use office to make business look legit, pack up shop and leave an empty office behind and no one with any clue what the mark is talking about.

"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square, and I took the advice of my assistant. But he could not help me in any way. He could only say that if I waited I should hear by post.

I mean, honestly, for someone who is supposedly unassociated with the league in question, that's more than he should be able to say. A more normal response would be 'That's fucking weird, boss. I think it might be a scam.' But clearly Victor is entirely trustworthy, so I shouldn't question him. Totally trustworthy.

On the contrary, you are, as I understand, richer by some 30 pounds, to say nothing of the minute knowledge which you have gained on every subject which comes under the letter A.

I expect that pub quizzes weren't around in 1890, but if they were, Mr Wilson would be an excellent addition to your team.

The internet tells me pub quizzes only date back to the 70s. Which seems late, as I swear my Mum's dad and brothers used to go religiously to their local league when she was young, but maybe I got the timeline on that wrong.

Further investigation has found me to be correct as the very league my family used to frequent is apparently referenced in an article from the early 60s. In fact it quotes someone who absolutely must have known my grandad and might even be in the picture of the quiz team on top of our bookcase.

This tangent has been brought to you by my love of trivia... Pun intended.

Back to the 1890s

"Why did you pick him?"

"Because he was handy and would come cheap."

"At half-wages, in fact."

"Yes."

A lesson that stands to this day: if something seems impossibly good value, it probably is. And if someone is willing to work for less than they're worth, one of you is the bad guy.

"As a rule," said Holmes, "the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter."

This reads like a contradiction, but I'm pretty sure it's true. It's the weird things that make crimes stand out and lead to the people committing them. The crimes that are completely run of the mill, like house burglaries, are one of a thousand almost identical crimes. But if a juggling clown robbed a shoe shop and rode off on a unicycle, that would cut down the suspects drastically.

"To smoke," he answered. "It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes."

Infamous line is infamous. All problems may be measured by how many pipes it takes to solve them. The standard SI unit of mysteriousness, I believe.

"Sarasate plays at the St. James's Hall this afternoon," he remarked. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients spare you for a few hours?"

"I have nothing to do to-day. My practice is never very absorbing."

Let's hope no one has stuck a candlestick anywhere unmentionable... But seriously, you can just ditch your patients for the day? And I complain about waiting times for the NHS!

Watson is just: 'My bff asked me to play hooky. Lol. Byeee!' and these people are paying him.

"Smart fellow, that," observed Holmes as we walked away. "He is, in my judgment. the fourth smartest man in London, and for daring I am not sure that he has not a claim to be third. I have known something of him before."

Holmes, the man is a terrible con artist. He's the most suspicious and he was so obvious it was embarrassing. And you're putting him right behind you in the list? (I assume Mycroft is number 1)

I guess that being intelligent doesn't mean you have to be good at conning people, but really, he's terrible at it. He couldn't have been more obviously involved if he had a sandwich board on saying 'The red-headed league is a con. Ask me how!'

I know Mr Wilson didn't work it out, but literally everyone else did. I bet that 14 year old child labour maid Mr Wilson hires knows he's a con man and just doesn't care because she's not paid enough to.

"Not him."

"What then?"

"The knees of his trousers."

I have been on this website too long, because my mind absolutely went into the gutter here. Which, incidentally, was also one of the places I thought of his knees being.

"Let us now explore the parts which lie behind it."

Is it a bank? Please be a bank. I honestly can't remember. But I want it to be a bank. Just for that good, old-fashioned bank robbery shenanigans. Although I will accept jewellery shop.

"There is Mortimer's, the tobacconist, the little newspaper shop, the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank, the Vegetarian Restaurant, and McFarlane's carriage-building depot."

Oh yeah. Got to love a bank robbery. Classic.

This has been copied so many times in media it's difficult to tell whether contemporary audiences would have been as able to work it out as modern readers. But it's a classic for a reason.

Also worth noticing that there's a Vegetarian restaurant in London in 1890. You'd have been hard pressed to find a vegetarian restaurant in most parts of England in 1990, so that's ahead of its time.

My friend was an enthusiastic musician, being himself not only a very capable performer but a composer of no ordinary merit. All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long, thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes, the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive.

Watson's crush is showing again. 😆

This description keeps going in a further totally heterosexual way. Look, I'm not saying straight guys can't appreciate their bff's 'languid, dreamy eyes', but when directly compared to his descriptions of other characters... This is exceptionally effusive is all I'm saying.

And, I say, Doctor, there may be some little danger, so kindly put your army revolver in your pocket.

Must. Not. Make. Joke.

[beenjen]

It’s about that time. Vacation has arrived. Work has been intense of late, I’ve not been giving my best, even at that I would say I’m above average, and that’s not without merit. I care A LOT about my patients, I’ve just been in survival mode. Waiting for this time off. Where I can unplug, get caught up on laundry, dust, repot my plants, paint some furniture, finish the bathroom project upstairs, get the garden off, make a medicine wheel. More than anything else, I just want to hang with Chris.

It really feels as though we should get an extra credit award, win the lottery, come upon a tax break (which absolutely did not happen this year). It’s been really heavy heavy for the last year. One year ago everything hit with my brother and his teenage daughter, then mom wasn’t able to tolerate chemo, then dad had his second diagnosis, the drama with my in-laws, hospitalizations, dads third diagnosis, in there C’s job was being transitioned back ‘in house’ at the university, then we had the damage to the back retaining wall, my work drama, further decline from mom, the official diagnosis on dad, mom passing, my niece was put on suicide watch, it has been toasted turds for awhile…. boom, boom, boom, one right after the other.

If I’m being completely honest, the last 5 years have been that way. It started with my grandmother breaking her arm, surgery, prolonged hospitalization, rehab, we had to buy a piece of property from her to pay for her in home care, she passed, I found out I was almost 7 months along with Lilith, then we lost Bacon (my soul dog), and as soon as I returned to work, dad had a relapse on his prostate cancer and mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It’s been a barrel run since then.

I went to a medicine wheel yoga this morning. I didn’t go for any reason, other that it was interesting to me, and the time and my availability aligned. Turned out to be brilliant.

I did that past life regression class to support my studio a year or so back, I posted on it I think, maybe I didn’t. In that class, and I’m a realist and an optimist at the same time? I’ve always had a naive leaning, wanting the best to happen, aloof - shading the experience with that - each ‘flash back’ for me was off of a grass lined hall, and I opened doors looking into a scene. One scene was C and I, he was a Viking warrior, or what my mind credited to it. Another was very odd, the details are hazy, it was an experience I don’t have the words for, but the sensation was that it was Chris. Then there was a 3rd and final experience, it reminded me of that 70s show with Red and Kitty, and she was wearing dresses, 60s-70’s style kitchen, and c came home from work, I turned and looked over my shoulder at him, smiling, there was a toddler playing in the floor. So, suffice it to say Chris manifests to me at times in my heart, maybe we were connected before and star crossed lovers, or maybe I’m an enthusiastic romantic with vivid dreams.

Today in the class, it was about the Cherokee peoples medicine wheel. The wheel is 7 points, very closely aligned with the 7 chakras… interesting how 7 is a deeply spiritual AND religious number. Me thinks things have more in common than different my lovelies (?).

Our teacher/guide, was Rachel. She’s a very personable person. Comfy feeling. Real. There were 2 times she asked questions about guiding our thoughts and life paths, and each time, what came to me was Christopher. One I think was ‘what gives you wings? Freedom?’ And another I believe was ‘what opens your mind, heart, yet keeps you firm in your life?’ And he was the answer to both.

It was special. More so as C and I celebrate 15 years married this week. He and I have both had separate events/conversations that made us both feel connected and that we really made a good choice of partner this week - how cosmically cool?!

My grief path hits unexpectedly. Today, it was taking a load of laundry out of the dryer, and having the kids lay on the bed while I piled it on top of them. My mom used to do that to me on the couch, and it was special. The warmth was so comforting. That she always remembered when I was home I liked it and would seek me out. She had a gift to make everyone feel special.

I have moments like that where I FEEL her. MISS her. Realize all over again that she’s no longer with us. I think that will happen for the rest of my life, and I’m not sorry. I WANT to remember her. Be close to her how I can. REMEMBER what she brought to me.

My dad has his second chemo this week. It’s actually on our anniversary. C is cool with us picking up dad, taking him, and spending the day with him. Our picture this year, may be one of dad with us in the field behind our house (our annual anniversary photo). I feel pressed to do this. I felt the same to make Easter big last year. I won’t poke that too curiously because I have a heart ache deep inside that I know what this means.

Meanwhile we celebrated my brothers birthday yesterday. Have the garden boxes curing. Tomorrow is the first day, of C and I getting some kid free time, and I am looking for abundance in this life.

Let’s focus on abundance not lack. Perspective friends. That’s all it takes to turn this game around xx