#the literal years i spent picking and choosing my crushes rather than just having them. i see u jiper.

[poisoncupids]

say what u want about it but jiper really is for people who didn't know they were gay until after the majority of their teen years

[theladyofbloodshed]

thoughts on azriel and mors relationship?? i didn’t love how mor was accused of “leading him on” for 500 years when she literally didn’t express interest as far as i can see. like he made her so uncomfortable she felt she couldn’t come out to what is supposedly her closest family. and i don’t see a lot of people talking about this aspect, i feel like it’s pretty ignored as a fandom.

i see it from both sides but first, lets establish the facts:

Azriel had a crush on Mor

Mor wanted to lose her virginity to one of the greatest Illyrian warriors, took one look at Cassian and knew he would be - and he was kind. She didn't pick Azriel because she knew he had a crush on her.

Cassian knew Azriel had a crush on Mor. He hated the thought of his brother not being just his and Rhys' anymore so ruined it for Azriel

Mor gets dumped in Autumn and Azriel finds her. He tries to confess his feelings and: Azriel thought I deemed him unsuitable. He started to confess what he felt, and I panicked, and … and to get him to stop, to keep him from saying he loved me, I just turned and left.

We know that Mor uses Cassian as a buffer and it makes Azriel uncomfortable (e.g. the foot rub). She sleeps with men (and secretly women) which makes her feel terrible. Mor also tells Feyre that Azriel has had his fair share of lovers too so it's unfair to say Azriel has simply pined for 500 years.

So that's where we are at with this weird scenario. Apart from in ACOMAF when both Mor and Rhys joke that it drives Cassian crazy that he never got to sleep with her again.

Okay, so Mor's perspective:

She is not into him. She uses Cassian to express that. She sleeps with men like Helion to also express that. It's pretty clear that - from Azriel's perspective - that Mor is into men too. She is tactile with him, touching him, she shows concern etc but also does the same for Cassian - but not to the same extent. If anything, Mor is more tactile with Cassian. I don't think it's leading him on though as she's not saying "hey, come to my bed, oh wait no sorry not tonight".

Azriel's perspective:

He tried to tell Mor his feelings at a very emotional moment and she just walked off rather than facing them. He believes he is unworthy of her. Mor says herself "I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me." In all those years since, Azriel still has not told Mor his feelings because he thinks he's unworthy.

If we say this whole farce is not down to SJM's messy writing and sloppy retcons... What irks me is that Mor knows that Azriel thinks he's not worthy of her. He thinks that's the only reason. She lets him believe that because its more comfortable for her to do that. I don't think at any point she has led him along and it worries me that after 500 years he's been unable to pick that fact up. It's strange that after 500 years of Mor choosing to cuddle up to Cassian and have foot rubs from him, that Azriel is still interested in her. (But I think a lot of it is due to the rushed retcons).

Mor has not had that conversation for a reason. It could be that - as we've seen in canon - she gets spooked by Azriel's temper. Fair enough. But she also is selfish about it.

I’m petrified to face him —to tell him he’s spent five hundred years pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout … I like things the way they are.

Mor is scared to tell him she's not into him but not because of something he might do to her, but she likes the situation now. This reads to me as she likes Cassian and Azriel both fussing after her. She caused waves between Cassian and Nesta because she knew her buffer wouldn't be hers. She doesn't want Azriel to dote on another woman and her not be the only one e.g. I don't want him, but nobody else can have him.

Mor does not owe anybody. She doesn't need to come out. However, after 500 years, she is still living a lie. She is not comfortable coming out to the family that we are told is a court of dreamers and they're all amazing and such good people!!! So why can't she? Will they reject her? Will they punish her? Is she scared of the wider reaction from the court? Like I don't understand why she hides a relationship with women from the inner circle. Hiding it from the court, yeah okay, I can imagine the Illyrians would be horrible to her. If she is that scared of Azriel's reaction to her liking women then maybe he shouldn't be in their inner circle??? Does she think they won't be on her side and would support him instead?? Then again, they all know Azriel has a crush on Mor and not one of them has stepped into say she's not into him, Cassian is happy to make Azriel hurt by his flirtatious actions with Mor rather than saying "my brother, she doesn't want you".

It all boils down to sloppy, lazy writing. It makes Mor look like a selfish bitch and Azriel a completely unhinged weirdo. It also shows the IC is really not very close to each other.

[onmyyan]

Hi its me again. I love your writing and the fact that there isn't as much abuse like there is in others. It reminds me of old yandere stories were it was genuine lovesickness. Anyway, how do you think jjba yanderes would react to a darling that is taller and more muscular than them by quite a bit. You can do whoever you like I don't mind.

A/N: Omg ily🥺 it means a lot you said all that because I really love this genre it’s my comfort trope anyway thank you for the request n I hope ya like it!! Kira should be a trigger warning in an of itself but dw he’s just weird, not mean. Mentions of his past ‘girlfriends’, a curse word or two, lil suggestive in someplace’s Mista murks a few people, tw//gun violence

Characters: Pt2 Joseph, Josuke, Kira, Mista

Joseph was used to looking down on people, standing at a proud 6’5” he was literally and figuratively knocked on his ass when he’d first laid eyes on you, his immediate thought was you were a forgotten pillarman coming from nowhere to get revenge for your masters only to quickly realize you were just a stallion. You were strong enough to put him on his back after one too many cheeky comments. Unafraid to speak your mind and keep him in check, You would stare down at him with that mind melting smirk, all too aware of his frustrations, you assumed he was just being a man, ashamed to be outclassed by someone other than himself, oh honey how wrong you were. You enjoyed teasing the behemoth of a man as no one else really could, at least not as well as you did, throughout your little jabs and snark he always had a retort, a response on the tip of his tongue, eager to do this dance of yours until one of you broke, to you he was a way too cocky dangerously self assured pretty boy who was entertainingly easy to rile up, but to Joseph, you were his everything. Someone he could proudly take home to Granny Erina once he’d finally tamed you. He had a plan, a three step plan to steal your heart just as you’d done his, and this little game of who could annoy the other the most was just step 1. “It’s been fun JoJo but you’re gonna have to find someone else to bother.” You’d jokingly said one day out of the blue, an odd friendship had formed through the month you’d been in town and it felt wrong to leave without notice, an act of kindness you’d learn to regret. “Is this one of your famous jokes (Y/n)? Not so funny to play with a mans heart like that I nearly believed you.” He finished with a scoff, his signature smirk not reaching his eyes. “It’s true Joseph, my flight leaves tomorrow, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye, because as much as we fuck around you’re pretty fun to hang out with.” Your sincerity almost made him feel bad about rushing the next few steps of his plan, he’d have to cram months of planning into a night but he’d accomplished more with less time on his side. He huffed, his grin stretched wide across his handsome features. “Then we outta make tonight count eh?” A thick arm was tossed around your neck, you had to bend awkwardly for this to be possible much to your amusement. “Okay you weirdo, whatever you say.” You let him lead you around town with a grin, unaware you’d be missing that plane, and any other one you tried to take without him.

Josuke watched you eat with the dopiest grin on his face, he’d spent an extra hour in the mirror this morning in preparation for your first official date! Well you didn’t exactly know it it was a date and Okayasu was eating rather messily beside you two but still! You’d actually agreed to come to Toni’s with him! You’d been an enigma since you transferred to the bizarre town, choosing to keep to yourself, and despite the intimidating height and mass you possessed, he saw through your act in seconds. There was a huge softie under all that muscle, he’d watched you enough to know this as a fact, you were a gem and he was intent on showing you his appreciation and adoration for the rest of his days, a vow he’d silently taken the day you’d stolen his heart, the moment was brief in reality but it lasted forever in his mind, you smiled at him in passing, he could feel time slow down, everyone around you faded in the background, a backdrop to the beginning of your story. He could imagine telling your kids how you’d met, something about the way you’d stare down at him, eyes sharp and attentive, like you truly listened when people spoke, your laugh was loud when it was real and every time he heard it he felt 10 years added to his lifespan. At the same time that icky feeling at another person making you laugh was conflicting, he’d never been in love before but he suddenly understood why his mom had never given up on his dad, love was weird but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. You’d accidentally snapped your chopsticks laughing too hard at a joke he’d tossed out, your face scrunched in embarrassment before chuckling at yourself and switching to a fork, his stand came out on its own, pocketing the shards to fix later, a new item for his ever growing collection, what a cute little memento from your first date! His thoughts swirled happily with the stories you’d be telling your kids. Thankfully neither of you noticed his little pickpocket moment, dangerous plans forming as he stared at you with those misleadingly soft puppy dog eyes.

Kira could die in this moment, happily I might add, as your firm but soft hand was wrapped oh so deliciously around his throat threatening to crush it with ease at the slightest movement. He’d been watching you for a while now, the longest he’d ever spent on someone he didn’t plan to kill, it become sort of hobby he’d picked up recently, the morally upsetting activity bringing peace to his day to day, usually he used his stand to carefully observe your routine, eager to learn all he could about his future spouses likes and desires, but he was getting greedy. Of course he could always introduce himself but he resisted, knowing there was a time and place to get exactly what he wanted. He liked to think he knew everything about you by now, your favorite color, how you liked your coffee, your love for cats, but he didn’t anticipate this. You were much more observant than he’d given you credit for, while you couldn’t see his stand you could sense yourself being watched, and seeing the large blonde lurking indiscriminately in the crowds throughout the day was enough to set you off. So you trailed off into the less crowded parts of town quickly entering an alleyway, he followed in pure confusion only to be roughly slammed into the wall, his stand came out on reflex but simply stared at his attacker, it seemed almost confused as what to do. “Why the hell are you following me pretty boy?” His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of your fingers tightening, god he’d never felt this rush of exhilaration, none of his past ‘girlfriends’ could pull such an illicit reaction from him with a simple touch. When he didn’t answer you simply scoffed and tossed him aside like it was nothing. You left with a threat to stay out of your sight, yet all he could do was smile, the faint imprint of your fingers burned in his skin deliciously, how lucky could one man get?

Mista observed you with hungry eyes. His stare was unapologetically locked on your form. He made no intention to hide his attraction for you. The day you’d joined Buccarati’s crew was the day his world flipped. He assumed his new teammate would be no one to fuck with based on what Bruno told him about your stand, but when you walked in? Needing to bend down slightly just to enter the doorway had him sweating in his seat. He didn’t know what to say as he watched you happily interact with his fellow teammates, immediately you blended with the group, but all that was running through his mind were all the fun things you could do with those muscles. He usually stayed silent around you, not out of dislike as one would assume from his piercing gaze, but fear of accidentally voicing one of those nasty thoughts kept him quiet. You didn’t seem to mind though, always including him in the conversation, you even understood his very valid fear of that dreaded number! How could god plop such a perfect person in his lap and expect him to not do anything about it? Alas, Bruno had specifically told them not to make you uncomfortable with any flirting so he bit his tongue. Your aura was calming, a contrast to your powerful stand, speaking of, he couldn’t get his under control. Whenever they could Sex Pistols was out and all over you. They climbed and clamored for your attention, thankfully you didn’t seem to mind, always entertained their antics when you could, even giving each one a small peck when they wouldn’t let you leave for a mission without Mista, to say he was done for was an understatement, it took one mission going foul for his resistance to snap. His stand moved faster than it ever had, piercing the skulls of the idiots who brought you pain. He left the last one slowly bleeding out kneeling down to wipe the matted hair from your forehead, “You okay baby? Don’t worry honey I’ll make the bastard hurt.” He spoke not breaking eye contact, his hand pointed behind him, grip steady as he unloaded in the poor fool who thought it was a good idea to make you bleed, the wound was small, not even deep enough to trouble Giorno but that didn’t matter to Guido, any slight against you was disrespecting the future parent of his children, and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend your honor?

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[jinxfirebolt18902]

What are we, then? - JJ Imagine

A/N: I fell hard into a new obsession: JJ Maybanks yes it is. So, I badly wanted to write something but had literally no ideas so I took this prompt list and made a friend choose 2 random numbers. They picked: 9. “we’re not just friends and you know it”

27. “what do you mean maybe? that was a yes or no question”

So yeah. Enjoy some angst.

Words: 2.249

Pairing: JJ x female!reader

—Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me! —JJ shouted after her.

—Watch me, asshole. —she stopped her steps and half turned her body just to give him the middle finger. Her facial expression showed the rage she felt.

Angry outbursts were pretty common between them. They’d known each other since kindergarten, a couple of years before John B came to the picture. So, their relationship was stronger, deeper. They knew each other to the bones. The gang was used to their loud yet harmless fights. JJ was short-tempered, and so was she. At the end, the fact that they shouted their opinions at each other at the moment they felt it was healthier considering they always reconciled half an hour later. 

But this time something was different. An event that had happened between them a few days earlier had changed it everything, and nothing would ever be the same. Such event was unknown by the others, and maybe that’s why they were all so confused.

The thing is, for the first time, neither of them were spitting their feelings out. And oh boy it did cause a lot of misunderstandings.

She and JJ decided to shelter from Agatha at John B’s place. It was no news JJ tried to avoid his house as much as possible. She always convinced her parents of letting her go with them as JJ was considered another son and spent a lot of time at hers, and they also wanted their daughter to be a good friend to John B after his dad went missing. Once her throat burned due to her shouting at John B to get his ass out of the ocean in the middle of a hurricane she gave up and waited for them to come back. Luckily JJ found a little sense within his logic and convinced John B of getting out of the water as the storm was way too heavy.

At the Chateau, they cooked some noodles and ate between anecdotes and candles due to the lack of power. Around 3 in the morning Agatha was still blowing, a few cans of beer empty were around the coffee table, she and JJ were sprawled on the sofa bed and John B asleep in his bedroom. The pair was listening to I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing from her phone as they heard the wind and thunder outside. They’d smoked a blunt and were then absorbed in the flame of the candle in front of them.

Her pupils were dilated and she couldn’t feel his eyes on her. Or at least that’s what he thought.

—Staring is rude dude… —She voiced out loud, but softly, in a sleepy state.

He let out a short laugh and then directed his sight to the candle. —You’re so mean to me.

Now it was her turn to laugh. —Yeah, so?

He gently pushed her arm and then let his head fall on her shoulder, his blonde locks tickling her skin. She rested her head on his and closed her eyes but a moment later he looked up and set his eyes on her face, more serious this time. Her eyes locked with his.

—What? —she said in a whisper.

But he was at a loss of words, which didn’t happen often. They just got in a trance where a lot of emotions were in each pair of eyes with a classic love song in the back. At a certain moment his gaze moved down to her lips and his breath stuck in his throat. JJ was never a shy one when it came to girls. His ego, not confidence, always led situations smoothly. But for the first time in his life, he had no clue what he was doing. It’s not like they hadn’t shared alone moments like this before, they always had. The amount of trust between them had no comparison. They were totally sincere with each other, since they’d met there was not a thing they didn’t know about each other. 

JJ leaned in and stopped closing the distance just when there were 2 millimeters left to create contact. His blue orbits checked for permission with hers first. She didn’t move at all. He took that as a green light and collided his mouth with hers.

The kiss was soft, and meaningful. Yes, they had a couple of beers running through their veins, and yes also a little of weed into their systems yet they felt like time stopped. It was like the Universe was created for this and only this moment. They felt everything around them vanished. It felt right, just like when you fit the last piece of the puzzle.

The sound of a lightning striking near their location pulled them apart. They shared one more look though this one was loaded with a bit of embarrassment. The moment got kinda awkward and they dealt with it by pretending what happened did not actually happen. She turned around and he cuddled her like they always did.

The next morning John B woke up first, walking from his bedroom to the porch, catching the pair of friends peacefully sleeping in each other’s arms. He ruffled JJ’s hair asking him if he’d been outside yet only earning a groan as a response. Hours later she woke up and went home without talking to her best friend about the intimate moment they’d shared. 

A few days later they threw the kegger, there happened strike one. JJ eventually disappeared with a smokin’ hot tourist, which did not go unnoticed by her. She’d seen JJ go from a clumsy kiddo to the sex symbol boy, she’d been there through the beginning to the end of his puberty, she knew better than even bother by his multiple random hookups. Still, after the intense look he had given her before kissing her had left her somewhat overwhelmed. And the fact that they had shared such a passionate moment together days ago made her actually uncomfortable at witnessing JJ get it with some other girl. This was brand new for her, literally she had never been jealous of the blonde. Oh and, one more time, feelings were bottled up.

Strike two took place at The Wreck when the group was in for a fast food meal. They’d gone inside towards their usual table while Kie went to the kitchen. The boys were just sitting when she was approached by Tom, a pogue, with a “Hey, how have you been?” to which she replied with a genuine smile. The boy had had a crush on her since middle school. He was kinda cute, light brown hair, green eyes, a couple of freckles under his eyes and on his nose. And he was nice, a good guy really. Her mom always wanted them to date but she didn’t find the chemistry reciprocated. And JJ had secretly been relieved by that. Not because he wanted her romantically or anything like that but because he dreaded the time she’d got a boyfriend and stopped hanging out with him. Tom asked her to go surfing with him the next day and she agreed, partly because she hadn’t surfed in weeks, and partly because she had bottled her jealousy at the kegger and kind of wanted to hit it back to JJ, as she was completely aware of how JJ felt towards Tom. Through the corner of her eye she caught JJ’s irritable gesture when she accepted the invitation.

A week after the secret kiss, the gang was at John B’s hanging out. By now, the tension between the two was clear to everyone, and their friends knew an explosion was coming soon. They weren’t teasing the hell out of each other as they usually did. They weren’t sitting next to each other in the boat as they usually did. And they also were hitting each other every chance they got, like when she had smacked his head from behind in the afternoon that same day when they were at the beach and the blonde was flirting with a girl, ruining their moment. Or when she was going to the fridge to seek for a beer can and he was coming out of it and shove his elbow into her arm, earning a gasp and a scowl.

—Yo! What is your problem dude? —her voice denoted she was at the edge which only pleased the blonde even more making him smile.

Kie and John B shared a look as Pope sighed resignedly foreseeing what was coming.

—Maybe the fact that you ruined my moment today.

She scoffed and walked past him rolling her eyes. —Yeah, sure. Cause you have so much trouble slutting around with everything that walks.

—Uhhh, excuse me. Do you have a problem with it? 

Their friends sighed and walked out to the porch in order to give them space and to be honest, they were not in the mood to witness another of their fights so they rather stargaze outside while the two sorted it out.

—Oh no, be my guest bro. I’m just sayin’ why do you call me out on “ruining your moment” when you can have “your moments” whenever you want.

He smiled sarcastically and looked down at the floor before lifting up his gaze to her. —You’ve been a pain in the ass the whole week, you are the one with a problem obviously.

—I am not. I’ve been the pain in the ass? Are you sure? Cause someone else comes to my mind. —she rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly as she let herself fall on the couch and took a sip of her drink.

—You’re unbelievable.—Did you mean it?

He looked at her in confusion. —What?

—You know what. Did you mean it?

He shrugged his shoulders and looked down to hide the light blush of his cheeks. —Maybe.

Strike three, you’re out.

—Maybe? What do you mean maybe? That was a yes or no question.

—I-I don’t know —his hand went to grab his hair. —Maybe.

—Forget it. —she stood up and he freaked out.

—What? Are you in your period or something?

That’s when she stormed off the Chateau fuming.

The sound of the slammed door got the other three’s attention, turning their heads to look at the person walking away.

—Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me! —JJ shouted after her.

—Watch me, asshole. —she stopped her steps and half turned her body just to give him the middle finger. Her facial expression showed the rage she felt.

After a few minutes John B, Pope and Kiara all got up and went inside to find JJ standing in the middle of the room with a hand grabbing his hair and with the other holding a beer, looking down at an invisible point on the floor.

—What did you do? —Kie asked him with furrowed eyebrows.

JJ grimaced and sighed. —I might have said the period line… —Kie let her head fall backwards and took a deep breath. —Of course you did…

—That’s just a dick move. Anyway, what is going on between you two? You’ve been annoying all week. —John B voiced.

But he only closed his eyes and breathed out heavily.

Hours later the surfer skated all the way to her house. He threw some rocks at her window to wake her but after a few minutes nothing happened, then he noticed a shadow on the roof, next to one of the windows of the big house. He climbed up and jumped from the tree to the roof, a few feet away from her. She was hugging her knees and staring right ahead with her chin resting on her arms. There were no signs of remaining anger, just plain tiredness, and a touch of sadness. He caught that in her eyes, he knew her so well, and it made his heart sunk to know he had caused it. He cleared his throat and dried his palms on his shorts. He felt nervous and it caused his hands to sweat.

—I’m sorry.

She blinked slowly but kept her gaze set ahead. He felt ashamed by his behaviour.

—We’re not just friends and you know it. —now he did get her attention.

She just smiled and rolled her eyes changing her pose, resting her palms on the roof and leaning her core weight on them.

—What are we exactly, then..? —she was teasing him and he smiled sweetly. He nudged her and they both laughed. A second later he looked down and bit his lip deep in thought. She turned her head to look at him.

—You’re everything to me. —he said quietly, still not daring to lift his sight. —I never want to lose you. —he said with an expression of pain on his beautiful face. She furrowed her brows and hugged him. —You never will, idiot. Have I ever given up on you? —she whispered near his cheek due to the hug. His eyes filled with forbidden tears. He nodded no with his head as he didn't trust his voice. Her smile grew wider and she kissed his cheek softly. —See? I’m always there with you. Every day, every week, every year. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. —he half laughed half sobbed and immediately cleaned the tears forcefully with the back of his hand. She held him tighter and he put his head on her.

—So, I guess the answer is yes, I meant it. 

[partly-cloudyskies]

1, 12, 16, 18 + one I didnt pick but you secretly want to talk about

This has run long so I’m putting it under a break. Some thought about my current writing projects, an old abandoned project and, uh, word counts below!

1) Welp I got three WIPs:

This is How We Grow: My first real attempt to fully commit to the heightened romance and emotion of an idealized pastoral setting but sometimes there are shadow monsters plus this also acts as an excuse to see more of Soup’s weblena art.

The Longest Shadows: A future fic where Lena becomes a badass shadow witch and Webby learns that the McDuck legacy is a complicated thing rather than the unalloyed good that she unthinkingly embraced as a youth (Yeah how you doin season 3).

The Glass Factory: A Maebea NITW AU where Mae and Bea find and cling to each other out of a shared sense of alienation as they bear witness to an economically depressed city in its final moments before the shockwave of gentrification turns it into something unrecognizable and hostile (YES I’m still working on it!!)

12) A dumb line from an old WIP... there are so many abandoned projects that are like, two chapters and then a separate file full of quotes that I thought were cool and then I never looked back on them again. I’m sure those hold up. Let me check my old writings folder...

OH NO. I have it and I hate it but I’m going to post it anyway:

Detta rises over the Blackfuse mercenary as he struggled with the debris crushing him. Short even for a goblin, she looms over him like a Titan contemplating the fleeting life of mortals. She raises one hand, closed in a fist that sparks and howls with the wind.

“I’m gonna put a hurricane in your skull. See what it does to your brain.”

FOR CONTEXT, this is an old WIP from, like, 2016. It was a World of Warcraft fic that I REALLY wanted to write. It took place during the Panderia campaign and was set entirely in Bilgewater Harbor, an island city of goblins that is almost entirely empty in-game but I always liked its chaotic design. It was about Detta, a goblin Shaman who had given up adventuring and became a freelance problem solver in Bilgewater. She had a Storm Elemental she named Dizzy who she used as a secretary. One day Korkron troopers loyal to Hellscream bursts into her office and tells her they want to hire her to track down a criminal. Tozz, one of the troopers, is assigned to stay with her to make sure she stays on task. Eventually they would find the criminal only to learn he’s a Twilight’s Hammer cultist who had been in Orgrimmar instructing Hellscream’s forces on the secrets of Dark Shamanism and Hellscream was hiding this by killing everyone involved. You can take it from me that it was VERY lore compliant while filling in the spaces that the game devs had left CRIMINALLY underdeveloped and was going to be a dramatic story in the vein of film noir, with intrigue and divided loyalties and shifting motivations all on the eve of war and rebellion and WoW DESERVED to have better story than it did and you know what I’ve decided that is actually a brilliant line and I am PROUD of it and --

You get the picture. Next question!

16) Hm... this is a question that I don’t really have an answer for because all worldbuilding is good worldbuilding if you ask me. I think the thing about worldbuilding is that a good 90% of it doesn’t make it to the page and we kind of struggle with that because if you have all this research material then you might feel compelled to splash it all out on the page so you’d have something to show for all the time you spent. But that’s not what it’s for, it’s so that you have something to refer to when you need it. It’s the big part of the iceberg no one else gets to see. So maps? Spreadsheets? Research? None of it is ridiculous. All of it is good.

I guess the most of it I’ve ever done was for the novel that I wrote. I had a lot of material for that. I drew a map and I even tried to keep it to scale by sketching it out using travel route lines in Google Maps. I guess that is a little ridiculous, but I’ve no regrets.

18) I hate title and I don’t really spend much time on them. I certainly don’t keep track of how many titles I come up with before settling on one. I tend to be direct, I think.

Glass Factory is called Glass Factory because there’s a glass factory in NITW and my story takes place in an art studio. There’s an art studio in Alexandria called the Torpedo Factory, and that and its surroundings is what inspired that story, so Glass Factory. ez.

Longest Shadows is about legacy, the shadows cast by Scrooge and Magica and how Webby and Lena fall under those shadows. Plus it’s Lena so there’s almost a 100% chance any story with her has some kind of shadow reference in the title. So that’s that.

This is How We Grow was probably the most agonizing of my recent WIPs in terms of title. I think it’s a little clunky. But it’s about the two main characters growing and it’s... there’s farming. Plants grow. So... uh, that’s it. I might not be a huge fan of the title but I’ve never considered changing it. Never look back, when it comes to titles. That’s my motto.

Now for a question of my choosing...

14) I can knock out 500 words pretty easily on a good day, like on a real good day I can do a 1000 in half an hour. I’ve had times where I got an idea in the morning, wrote 2000 words about it, edited it by lunch and posted it by evening. But good days are few and far between and mostly I just put in a paragraph or two where I can.

I used to be very obsessive about word count. Like, I still look at it today but now it’s just like “oh, that’s how many words are in this file, okay”, but years ago I practically lived by it. I think part of it was me chasing that NaNoWriMo dragon, which was something I used to be pretty focused on. Now that I’m older I wonder if NaNoWriMo actually helps or does more to hurt aspiring writers. I mean, it’s not like there’s any external consequences to falling short but when you’re young and you’re looking to commit yourself to something, it sucks real hard when you inevitably fall short and it can be discouraging.

These days I’m more in a “what’s important is that you’ve written something” frame of mind. It doesn’t matter if it’s four pages or it’s literally a single word. I’ve had single word days. And it’s okay! It’s okay to write a single word. Progress is progress, when it comes to writing. Now, if I look at the word count, it’s because a chapter I’m in is running longer than I would have liked and maybe I should consider splitting it in two or something because I am the kind of person who likes the idea of a uniform amount of words per paragraph thank you very much. Beyond that, I don’t pay word count much mind and I think I’m a happier writer for it.

So yeah!

[cloudhayato]

Greek Yogurt Melancholy

Happy @khrobscureshipweek guys

Lancia/Giannini

Lancia jerked awake from his nap. His heart was pounding and his face was drenched in sweat. Looking down, for a split second he expected to see blood on his hands, but there was nothing. Just the calloused and scarred skin after years of use. He blinked, needing a moment to process all this, and then let out a heavy sigh.

Nightmares again, huh? Even though it was all over, he still couldn't get a good night's sleep. He probably never will, and he doesn't deserve it. Even if Mukuro made him do it, all their deaths are still on him. He's the one who slit their throats and crushed their skulls and-

Yeah, he needed to do anything other than think right now. Getting up to his feet, he felt the weight of exhaustion push down on his shoulders, and dragged his feet towards the kitchen.

His apartment wasn't anything big or stylish. It was a small space with only a bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. That was all he needed though, he wasn't one for excess amenities.

Opening his fridge door, Lancia glanced at the almost barren shelves and felt a migraine coming on. Reaching towards the back, he grabbed a carton of greek yogurt and went to his drawers to pull out a spoon. The sour taste would help him feel more awake, and it was one of the few things he genuinely enjoyed.

After he sat down at his table, he popped the lid off, and felt his heart fall. Empty. Why would he even put the empty carton back in the fridge? Did he really hate himself that much? This was the sole event that almost made him consider therapy, but he pointedly ignored those thoughts and forcefully got up.

He'd just go to the store and buy more greek yogurt. It wasn't the end of the world, no need to be dramatic about it.

...Except he didn't have a car, and glancing at the clock, which said 7pm, he knew the store would close two hours from now. He wouldn't make it on foot. There was another option available for him, but he didn't feel good about it. Asking for things made him feel weak, and this would put him in the vicinity of another person, when he really would rather be alone.

Swallowing his pride, which was almost as sour as the yogurt he was craving, he walked towards his rotary phone and slowly inputted the numbers.

"Hello?" The familiar voice of Giannini said from the other line. "Mr. Lancia, is that you?"

He still didn't get how Giannini always knew it was him. Technology just never made sense to him.

"Yeah, Giannini, it's me." He answered. "I'm sorry to be asking you this so late, but could you drive me to the store?"

God, he sounded pathetic. He would never willingly learn how to drive one of those deathtraps though. Last time he tried to stop a plane from crashing, let's say the plane still crashed and his presence didn't really affect anything.

"Oh, yes of course Mr. Lancia!" Giannini chirped, as bright and chipper as always. "I'll be there in five minutes, just hold on one moment!"

"Yeah, thank you, Giannini."

Lancia waited for the familiar 'click' to signal the end of the call, and then put the receiver down. Pressing his forehead against the wall, he was already regretting this decision. Just thinking about it was draining, and he sounded so pathetic asking someone to come pick him up just so he could get some yogurt.

There was nothing he could do about it now though. He'd dug his hole and now he had to lay in it, no changing that now.

Lancia stayed like that the entire five minutes. His mind raced through constant mental turmoil, but that was his default state so it was fine, until he heard the doorbell ring. Finally removing his head from the wall, he steeled his face in a default expression that looked like it could kill you, and answered the door.

At first, Lancia was confused. He had to look down to speak to everyone, but he wasn't expecting to look so far down. He also wasn't looking at Giannini. On the ground was this little metal disk thing. A hand had come out of the top, and was still hovering by the doorbell, before receding back into what could only be some kind of machine.

"Mr. Lancia!"

He didn't expect the machine to shout his name. It took him so by surprise that he almost crushed it under his foot on instinct, only stopping himself at the last moment. That voice was Giannini's.

A high pitched shriek erupted from the disk at this attempted murder. "Please wait a moment—"

"Where are you?" Lancia interrupted, looking around the hallway in confusion before back to the disk. "Is this thing like a phone?"

"Exactly that! This is a roomba I've modified to have a variety of extra uses than just vacuuming." Giannini gushed, before calming down and sounding a bit more sheepish. "I'm sorry to have startled you, I should have given you fair notice beforehand."

Most of that flew over Lancia's head, especially the roomba part, but the moment it came up, he stopped caring. Not that he'd say that out loud, Giannini sounded excited and shutting him down would be rude.

"It's fine. Where are you?" Lancia asked, trying not to sound too exhausted.

"Ah, I'm parked outside." Giannini answered.

The 'roomba' turned around and pointed towards the stairs. He lived on the second floor so just at the bottom would be the exit.

Lancia just grunted in affirmation.

He stepped over the roomba and doubled his pace. This already felt like it was taking forever. He literally just wanted some Greek Yogurt, that was it. If only life itself didn't hate him with a burning passion.

The staircase went in a circle pattern. Not really a spiral staircase, but how most stairs in a small space worked. Lancia just jumped the railing and fell perfectly through the middle part where no stairs touched. It was just the second floor after all.

He landed on his feet, knees bent a little, but he barely felt the landing anyways. The building manager behind his desk was looking at him with wide eyes, but he pointedly didn't make eye contact as he walked past. He really didn't need to deal with that right now.

Opening the door to the parking lot, Lancia recognized Giannini's car immediately. It was bright yellow, and the mechanic had told him it was a 'buggy' as if that meant anything to him. It was small and cramped, and Lancia could barely fit himself in it, but it's not like he was going to make Giannini make, yes he made that buggy, a whole new car just for him.

Giannini excitedly waved at him through the windshield. Lancia was grateful he remembered not to honk the horn this time. The loud noise activated his fight or flight, and he was hardwired to always choose fight. He still felt bad about completely crushing the engine, but Giannini assured him it was fine and he could fix it.

None of that mattered now though, and as Lancia opened the car door, he finally felt like he was getting somewhere. The roomba jumped in after him and crawled behind the seats. He didn't have anything more to say about the invention so he just didn't acknowledge it.

"It's been awhile." Giannini said conversationally as he started the engine. "What have you been up to?"

"Mulling over the sins of my past." Lancia answered honestly.

"Okay!" Giannini smiled uncomfortably. "I was working on upgrading my microwave in order to stabilize isotopes."

"Hm. Did it work?"

"No."

The conversation quieted down to an awkward silence after that, both unsure where to go from there. It was difficult for them to relate to one another. Giannini was the son of a brilliant inventor trying to live up to his father's legacy, and Lancia spent most of his early life possessed and forced to kill. Finding common ground was a challenge.

"What kind of greek yogurt do you like?" Giannini spoke up after a while, sounding nervous.

"...Regular." Lancia mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed talking about this.

"Oh, an excellent choice!" Gianni said, with a little more enthusiasm than necessary. "I'm a big fan of vanilla myself."

"Vanilla's fine. I just prefer it more sour." Lancia responded, and from there they descended into a very thoughtful conversation about flavours and their own preferences.

It was the most Lancia had spoken since returning to Italy.

Before they knew it, they arrived at the store. Lancia was actually genuinely surprised that the car ride wasn't another long, agonizing ordeal to go through. He actually felt a little energized, as strange as it was to say. He'd need to ruminate over this later when he got back to his apartment and was trying to sleep.

"Well, we're here!" Giannini said needlessly, since they'd been parked for around two minutes already.

"We are." Lancia repeated in his gruff voice, and then opened the door and stepped out.

It was a small little corner store that was several corners too far. Still, it was cheap and never too busy, and that ticked all of Lancia's boxes. Only one automatic door worked and Lancia had to step around the frozen one. He walked through the aisles, not making conversation with the cashier and the one other customer present.

After a bit of searching, he found what he was looking for. The long sought after prize, Greek Gods Greek Yogurt, and in this moment he'd never felt so happy before to finally buy some gross dairy product.

As he went to grab the yogurt from the fridge, something else caught his attention. A little notice advertising a sale. 'Buy one get one free!' it said, and after some hesitation, he grabbed a second one.

Quickly, he paid for them and left the store. Giannini waved at him again as he stepped into the parking lot, and Lancia looked away, feeling kind of embarrassed. Hurrying over, he opened the door and took his seat beside Giannini.

"Did you find what you were looking for, Mr. Lancia?" Giannini asked, looking at him curiously.

Without saying anything, Lancia handed him the second greek yogurt. It was vanilla.

Giannini let out a small gasp as he took the yogurt, and out of the corner of his eye, Lancia could see the mechanic's lips quirk up in a delighted smile.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Lancia!" Giannini sounded so happy it was almost ridiculous.

"Yeah, no problem." Lancia said, and after a moment of hesitation. "It's just Lancia, by the way."

Giannini's eyes softened at that, as he handed over plastic spoons he had in his glove compartment along with various tools.

"Okay then. Thank you, Lancia."

Maybe this outing wasn't as bad as Lancia thought. The greek yogurt tasted a little sweeter on his tongue, and he found that he didn't mind as much.

It was nice.

[sundimus]

Request for Awp! 23. Whispering “I love you” between kisses. + 34. “I know, love, I know.” / Katie /// Time in the Entity’s realm passes by slowly. Or, rather, it doesn’t seem to pass at all. Everyone here is essentially in limbo, a never-ending hellish purgatory that repeats and repeats and repeats. No one knows how long they’ve been here - years pass without any changes to a person’s physical appearance here. Everyone and everything stays the same, other than the Entity’s need to celebrate the holidays occasionally, and the new survivors and killers who get dragged here as well. Death is not an escape, yet no one ever dies. In Laurie’s opinion, things could be worse.

If anything, things have gotten better since she first entered the fog. Having been here longer than most, she’s grown close to her fellow survivors. Back in Haddonfield she never had as many friends as she does now. She was too introverted and shy - Annie and Linda were the ones who came to her first after all - and she was content with her life as a babysitter who never partied but got good grades. But after the horrifying events of the last Halloween she spent with ignorant innocence, a fire had lit inside of her that refuses to let her die, even in a place where death is the only constant. But no one truly dies here. It’s just a rinse and repeat cycle of violence and dimming - but never diminishing - hope. Seeing new people come to the campfire gives her a bittersweet feeling still. Sadness that they have now met the same fate as her and will never leave, but slight happiness at the small change of pace. It becomes insignificant once everyone gets used to the newcomer and they come yet another rusted cog in the Entity’s machine, but at the moment everyone appreciates the distraction while they can. Plus, a new survivor comes with a new killer, and she finds that the more killers who come the less and less chance she has of facing her brother in a trial. There’s also the less chance that she has to enter a trial herself in general, which is always good in and of itself. She would much rather stay at the campfire with her companions. Even so, she still worries about her friends who do enter a trial. The latest ones who got dragged by the mist had been Quentin, Kate, Claudette, and Jake. She’s not as close with Claudette and Jake as she is with Quentin and Kate, but she hopes that all of them come back to the campfire having survived the trial. That would be the best case scenario, everyone escaping, but it’s a lot more rare than she’d care to admit. Kate had taken a med-kit with her when she left. Laurie hopes that’s enough. “Thinking about Kate again, huh?” She snaps her head up to see Zarina, who smiles back and plops down ungraciously next to her. “Ah, my knees,” she groans. “I gotta stretch more.” “I’m sure you’re fine,” Laurie says, turning her attention back to the campfire. To her left she can see Feng sprawled across the laps of her girlfriends Meg and Nea. She smiles softly as she watches Nea mess with Feng’s hands teasingly as Meg politely talks to them about something. Probably about Claudette. Those two by themselves have had the longest lasting relationship here - though Dwight and Jake’s could easily rival it. She hears Zarina start to hum a familiar tune next to her, and she gives her a side-eyed look that has no bite to it. “Really? Huntress’ lullaby? Out of all the songs you know, you pick that one?” “Hey, she was the last killer I went against! Her song has a habit of getting stuck in your head, you know.” Laurie thinks about all the times she’s caught herself singing the song when she was busy doing a generator or patching someone’s wounds and finds herself reluctantly agreeing. “I know, I know. But Kate’s songs are better.” Zarina nudges her. “Are you sure you aren’t being biased just because you love her?” Laurie tries to ignore the blush creeping on her face. “I’m not! Everyone would agree that she’s the best singer and songwriter here.” “You’re not wrong about that, though Nea would probably disagree with you about the singing part. Kate is also the only professional singer here. Maybe the Entity treated us by giving us a survivor who knows how to sing - and who even brought a guitar along here. Life can get so dreary without music.” Laurie lowers her voice. “Even Nea knows she can’t sing - she only does it to bother us.” Zarina stifles a laugh. “Don’t let her hear you say that. She wouldn’t hesitate to push Feng off of her just to fight someone.” “Feng would probably join her.” “Ah, love,” Zarina sighs. Laurie notices how her eyes glanced at Élodie when saying it, but she doesn’t comment on it. She’s not the type to push herself into other people’s business. Zarina turns back to her and offers another smile, this one reassuring. “Try not to worry about Kate too much, okay? She’ll be back before you know it. And who knows, maybe she’ll want to sing for us after she gets a nap in.” Laurie looks down again, still feeling worry in her chest but she lets out a breath. “Alright. Kate probably wouldn’t want me to be too worried anyway.” “I’m sure she’d appreciate the thought. Though, she’d probably appreciate anything you do, since she likes you. A lot.” “I sure hope she does otherwise this whole “dating” thing we’re doing is going to be very awkward.” Zarina laughs and pats her back, letting the conversation die naturally. The trial should be ending soon. It’s been going on for quite some time, and Laurie’s thoughts wander back to Kate, just like they seem to always do lately. She doesn’t know how or when they got so close. She remembers Kate walking to the campfire the same day that the Clown started showing up, and Kate had been everything back then that she still is today. Kind, outgoing, thoughtful, optimistic... traits that Laurie shares but not to the same extent. Where she is the glimmer of light before night that gives dawn its name, Kate is the entire sun engulfing the sky in all her glory. She gives hope, and hope brings life, and life is everything. Laurie doesn’t know how she manages to stay so positive, but she’s grateful for it. The Entity feeds on hope. Those who fall into despair are never seen again. People like Kate who keep everyone’s spirits up are literal lifesavers more so than pleasant company. Laurie tries not to think about it too much. She scratches the palm of her hand and puts all of her attention into the flames dancing a few feet in front of her. -.x.-.x.-.x.- “ - and then Claudette picked me up off the ground and we both sprinted to the exit. It’s been a while since I’ve felt adrenaline pump through my body like that.” Kate tells her story with a wave of her hand but no exaggeration to her words. She’s in a particularly good mood - common for those who have successfully escaped a trial. Even more so for those who managed to escape being hooked once. She grins slightly and answers a question Laurie didn’t have the chance to ask. “Quentin and Jake didn’t make it. Jake sort of sacrificed himself to save Claudette, and poor Quentin ended up getting yanked off a generator twice.” Twice? “He’s not getting enough sleep again.” “Yeah, but I think it’s because he’s been a bit preoccupied with something. Rumor has it that he has a crush on someone.” Laurie blinks. “Quentin does? With who?” Kate shrugs. “No one knows for sure. That’s what it’s a rumor. Either way, today was an unlucky day for him. I’m just glad he’s resting right now like he deserves.” “I hope he sleeps long enough before his next trial. It’s dangerous to get distracted in the middle of one.” Kate smirks and scoots closer to her. “You mean like the time you blew a gen when I kissed you on the cheek?” Laurie smiles at the memory. The killer had found them, of course, but it was worth it hearing Kate’s loud giggle at what must’ve been a look of shock on her face. “I couldn’t been so mad at you for that, you know.” Kate pokes her cheek. “But you weren’t!” “No. No, I wasn’t.” “Because...” Kate prompts, moving her finger to wrap an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder instead. Laurie stares at her in turn, not completely taking the bait but not rejecting it either. “Because I’m cute, and you could never be mad at me?” Kate finishes for her, tone smug and sweet at the same time. Laurie almost wants to disagree out of spite, but huffs a laugh instead, choosing to indulge her. “Okay, fine. Because you’re cute.” Kate smiles widely, leaning forward and kissing her as reward. Laurie responds in kind, wrapping her arms around her back to hold her in place. She sighs silently, happily, leaning into the touch. She feels grateful that, despite the constant pain and deaths and hurt she has to endure in this place, she’ll still able to have moments of reprieve like this. Tenderness, and comfort, and affection. Love. As she’s always thought - it could be worse. But it isn’t, and if there’s anything to feel joy about anymore, it’s this. Sitting here by a tent, a bunch of camaraderie and laughter in the background, and kissing her girlfriend, her songbird, without needing to worry about anything else. At least for a little bit. If she had to be honest, she never thought she’d heal enough to love another girl. She had loved Annie with her entire soul, and her death was nothing short of tragic and traumatic - taken by the hands of her brother. She didn’t want to love another person, not when he was still alive: a threat to everyone she cares about. He had taken everything from her, and would do so over and over again until he finally took her life. She didn’t want to potentially subject anyone else to Michael’s wrath. But the Entity’s realm is different. Kate is different. Everything is different. Laurie had grown close to her, and her love had blossomed naturally. Unexpected, surprising, a little scary, but she welcomed it. She had nothing left to lose here, and Michael could never truly take the lives of those she loves anymore, and that gives her a strange sense of peace that she hadn’t felt in years. It was relieving and freeing, and kissing Kate felt like an embodiment of those two emotions she never knew had been suppressed from her. “I love you,” she whispers against her lips like a sad prayer. She kisses her again, mumbling her words even more. “I love you.” Annie would be happy for her. She knows this. She’s breathing it. “I know, love,” Kate responds. Her voice is hushed and serious, her fingers ghosting the back of her neck. “I know.” Laurie melts into the fog.

[ego-driven-one-wing-angel]

Send a number | Answers

Thanks again for 250 followers!!!

What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

A penguin. I love them so much.

Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Sometimes I wear one of those “drug rugs” or baja hoodies. With shorts. And sometimes knee high socks. I HATE pajama pants. So if I’m cold I find alternatives. 

What song really gets you going?

Right now, Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood. But usually Tranz by Gorillaz.

Where do you usually eat your meals?

At my dining table or in the family/living room with my mom.

Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

BRUNCH

Most embarrassing habit?

Sometimes I’ll pick my nose at the most inconvenient times like a child.

Chocolate or fruity candy?

Chocolate

Soft or hard tacos?

When I ate meat regularly, soft, with carne asada. 

Worst way to break up a fight?

Throwing a pan at them? Dude I don’t know. Wrestle them to the ground? I feel like either of those are terrible.

Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

“You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.”

What color/design are your bedsheets?

Teal. And my comforter is a black/white diamond pattern.

Any hidden talents?

I was a dancer for roughly nine years. So I’m pretty good at that.

Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?

My Star Wars Luke Skywalker lightsaber water bottle. 

Socks or bare feet around the house?

Bare feet man. Those who wear shoes in the house are weak and will not survive the winter.

 Favorite board game?

Clue!

Do you sleep with the fan on or off?

I don’t even own a fan.

Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Heat at 67.5 and a sweater. Perfection.

Do you sing in the shower?

Who doesn’t?

Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Tranz by Gorillaz. All time favorite song EVER.

Last thing you cried about?

Watching Zack die YET AGAIN in Crisis Core. I don’t think I’ve ever watched that scene WITHOUT crying.

At what age did you first have alcohol?

15ish. Wine.

Relationship status?

Single

What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

249$ A Guess coat that I absolutely adore.

What do you typically wear to formal events?

A modest dress. Heels. And a Louis Vuitton bag to match.

Favorite memory?

Probably almost getting arrested with my friends back when I was 17. We were at a closed park, after hours, past curfew, and it was like 3 am. We bought 64 tacos from Jack in the Box and pigged out in the venue. Super rad.

Gum or breath mints?

Gum

Favorite shoes?

Probably my Guess sneakers. I don’t wear them often, but I love the design.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My chubbiness. I’m not fat per say. But I’m not skinny either, but I want to look more like a classic, 1950′s pinup model more than anything.

What is the natural state of your hair?

My hair has very soft curls. Naturally, there more like “beach waves”

Have you ever had braces?

YES. WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE

Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Ghost hunting. I was illegally trespassing, and the building was real sketchy. 

Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

I’m just an embarrassment through and through. What haven’t they caught me doing. But I guess writing porn is a close first.

Last time you had an orgasm?

I’m a virgin who has never experienced anything remotely sexual. 

Celebrity crush(es)?

Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgard, Sam Claflin, Karl Urban, Sebastian Stan

Windows or Mac?

I’ve never owned a Mac, so I’m biased when I say Windows.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

Six, seven? I was still quite young.

Makeup or natural?

MAKEUP

What color do you wear the most?

I wear a lot of neutral colors like gray.

Favorite season?

Winter.

Umbrella or rain coat?

Umbrella.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

No

First car you ever owned?

A 2002 Toyota. Super old, and the chip was painting off. My trunk also broke. Oil leak. Y’know, a traditional first car.

What time do you usually go to bed?

Anytime between 11-1 am.

Are you a competitive person?

Yes.

Least favorite color?

Orange.

First pet you’ve ever owned?

A cat :)

Sweet or salty?

Sweet

Favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli 

Favorite kind of chips?

Cheetos

Talk about something you’re passionate about.

Writing. I love being able to put my ideas on paper, let my thoughts and emotions run free in a world where I have to act a certain way. I can be anyone while writing!

What are some of your hobbies?

Writing

Drawing

Watching too much television

puzzles

Caffeine? If so, what kind?

I’m a tea gal. But I LOVE coffee. Especially mochas and caramel. With extra pumps of espresso. Hell yeah.

Favorite kind of pizza?

Ranch and Chicken or just plain cheese.

Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

Sit-down

Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

I love having a large circle, but I choose my best friends wisely. I only have about two or three of those and they’re the one’s I keep close to my heart.

Something that ruins your appetite?

This is a bit more dark, but my dad and I don’t bond outside video games. And he’s the type that believes it’s his way or no way no matter what. So if you get him angry he acts like a two-year-old who just got a toy taken away, and will try to push your buttons until you’re the same way. I saw the signs years ago, but whenever his anger is targeted at me I just don’t want to eat. I write instead. 

Favorite labels about you?

As in names? It’s near 1 am while writing this so I might have just gone stupid. But I love it when my friends call me cutie. Or my good friend Charlie calls me Smarties. And he’ll pull out a smartie from his pocket when he does it. I also get called Reid, as in Spencer Reid, a lot.

Are you a religious person?

Yes. I try to be at least. I’m Christian.

Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Night out. I spend too much time indoors with one friend as is.

What size shoe do you wear?

9

Favorite thing about yourself?

My confidence, or my keen fashion sense. 

Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

No.

Have you ever had sex on the first date?

No.

Heroes or villains?

Villains. (Sephiroth, Bucky Barnes, Loki, etc.)

Favorite fruit?

Pomegranates. 

Least favorite fruit?

Bananas. I’ll eat them, but there are a lot better choices honestly. 

Favorite vegetable?

Broccoli

Least favorite vegetable?

Brussels sprouts

How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

About a good three. First is salad. Second is fruit. Third is desert. 

Favorite dessert?

Ice cream. Bubble gum flavor is my favorite!

Do you play any sports?

Nope.

Age you learned how to swim?

Seven or eight.

Tell a funny story.

Maybe this is just funny to me, but earlier today my cat was trying to lick her coat but she set her front paw on a piece of paper and anytime she bent over to lick herself she slid and she would have to readjust herself. She did this like four times before she decided to move.

What’s one interesting thing about your culture?

As someone who is a part of the Navajo tribe, something neat is the more fat you have on your bones the more people respect you because they believe you have money.

What’s one annoying thing about your culture?

We can’t touch cold-blooded animals. It’s said if you touch the scales of a snake, or even breath in the same air, you’ll get the same skin as them.

What job would you be terrible at?

Accounting. I can’t do math to save my freaking life.

Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

TV shows.

What’s your favorite compliment to give?

“Cute Outfit!” or “Love the Hair!” You have no idea how many people light up on either of these, male/female/nonbinary. Looking good is a happiness found across all the spectrums. 

What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

“Cute hair.” Or “Love your makeup/nails.” 

Has your opinion changed on something recently?

I can’t remember. Like I said, it’s close to bedtime where I’m at and boi, it’s hard to concentrate right now.

Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

I order the same. 

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

This sounds awful, but I’ve always wanted to try ecstasy. I have buddies who’ve taken it and say, if you do it right, the first time is pretty bomb. 

If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

Singing. I can’t carry a tune.

Favorite physical feature about yourself?

My eyes.

Least favorite physical feature about yourself?

My wide hip/waist ratio. If my waist was thinner I wouldn’t mind as much.

What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?

OKAY. I scored a strike on Wii bowling while i was on the toilet one time. Two rooms away and not even looking at a screen. Just using my heart and determination and it was SUPER COOL AND I WISH PEOPLE COULD HAVE SEEN THOSE SKILLS.

If you could change your height, would you?

Yes. Everyone is a good foot taller than me. So I would most definitely want a few more inches.

What’s something you would rate 10/10?

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s Character concept for Sephiroth. The eyes, the height, the hair. WOW. In love.

Heels or flats?

Heels

What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

Politics. I want to get more involved but every time I do I get so confused.

Would you want to be famous?

I wouldn’t mind. But I value my private life.

What’s something you would get arrested for?

Well I already almost got arrested for eating tacos in a closed park at 3 am. So maybe that.

What’s your spirit animal?

A cat. 

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

The fact that I graduated high school. I was developing anxiety and literally had no idea what the frick was happening with me and no one told me what it was. So I ended up skipping loads of school for that reason. 

Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

Organized mess. Or just a mess. 

Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

The future.

Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

Planner. I hate when things are sprung on me last minute. I have to emotionally prep up before a social event so 5-10 business days are needed.

Thoughts on the oxford comma?

I was taught to use it, but it’s literally so useless? I found myself either not using it or just doing it on instinct. So in one story you could probably find multiple instances where I use it and where I don’t use it, maybe in the same paragraph. I just do whatever fits that moment I guess.

What do you hope never changes?

My squad. I love them to pieces and it would break my heart if at some point they’d want to split.

How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?

Something extremely dangerous like skydiving or zip lining across a canyon. 

[padfootagain]

Hello everyone! It is that cold time of the year again in the northern hemisphere, and I am here to bring you the cuteness we all deserve! I made an event with that theme last year that worked very well, so, I'm going to make another one this year! (I think I'll make a tradition out of it, tbh, because it is a lot of fun to write!!)

I'm also taking this opportunity to thank all of you, my lovely followers, for your love and support. There are almost 3.8k of you these days reading my crazy nonsense. Thank you all so much! I hope you all have a wonderful and magical winter time.

But enough chatting! Let's explain this new devilish plan of mine!!

 Carole, what is this all about?!

 Usually, when I make an event, I let you choose the characters, sometimes some prompts too or other similar things to guide the story, but I'm the one choosing what happens. This time, it's gonna be the other way around!

You're going to choose the tropes, and I'm gonna choose the characters!

How is this gonna work? Easy. I have gathered a little list of common wintery/Christmasy prompts. You will vote for your favourite trope. The five tropes that raised the most votes will be used to write a story for the characters of my choosing.

But you have another job too!

I will not write just five fics. I will write more (I will also save some tropes of the list that weren't chosen and that I feel inspired by, so if your favourite trop was not chosen, there is still a chance that I might write it anyway!), and I will also choose some of the tropes that you will propose for me to write! You will vote for your favourite trope on the list at the end of this post, but you can also propose a prompt that is not featured on the list (and I warmly invite you to do that, I am counting on you all to help me on this!!). I'll pick up my favourite tropes for me to write out of your propositions :)

 What tropes can we propose?

 Anything that you would like! The event is placed under the sign of cuteness, so I will try to favour them, but angst is welcome too. You can literally send me any idea you have that can take place during winter time. And for those of you who live where, at this time of year, it's sunny and warm, then you can still send me prompts with that weather! (If you can tell me where you are, I can make it happen in your country then!) So, if for you, the Christmas tradition is to go surfing, then give me a prompt with that!

The tropes can be anything you think of, a classic I forgot, something you do at that time of the year... anything. I just need a trope. What do I mean by a trope? Just take a look at the list below, it should help you see what I am looking for.

To submit a trope, send me an ask through my askbox! Anon or not, I don't mind, but it is easier for me to keep track of my messages using the asks rather than the pms or comments on this post. You can submit as many tropes as you like.

I will probably keep the tropes in my askbox, if you want to check if I have received your trope alright (as we all know how reliable Dumblr is, these days), don't hesitate to ask me if I received it alright by sending me another message (askbox or pms).

Remember two rules though: I do not write smut, and I do not write about children dying, so these kind of tropes are banned. For the rest, send whatever you'd like!

 What about the votes?

 Send me an ask to vote! Here again, it's easier for me to keep track of all the messages I receive if I get everything through my askbox. Anon or not, it doesn't matter, so if you're shy, just switch to anon!

You can vote for only two tropes! So choose wisely. You obviously can vote only once, or it's cheating.

 You can vote and propose a trope, you can vote and propose several tropes, you can vote and send me a trope a few days later, you can only vote and finally you can only send a trope. It depends on how you would like to participate :)

 But then, which characters are you going to choose, Carole?

 I have that power this time, I am choosing which characters will go through all that adorable, tooth-rooting fluff. However, I obviously keep your happiness in mind. Which is why I will make sure to choose characters of different fandoms, so that everyone is represented and you can all read about a character you like! I will also make sure to write for my most popular characters, obviously. I want to make as many people happy as I can!

 When is this cuteness going to be poured upon us?!

 You have four days from now on to vote and offer me tropes for this event. So, the votes will be closed on November 13 at 6pm, Paris hour.

I will then start posting fics, from mid-november all the way to January. Depending on how tired of it I am, I will stop either after New Year's Eve, or who knows, maybe only at the end of winter!

What is for certain is that, until the next decade is upon us, I will be posting one fic for my event (at least) every week! So you will have a good dose of absolute cuteness :)

At this rhythm, I'm counting at least 8 fics (but let's be honest, I'll write more than 8 fics with that theme, you know me, I love winter!).

 So, to sum up!

 You have until November 13 to vote or submit tropes for this event.

You can vote for your favourite trope among the list below, and I will write a fic for the character I will choose using the 5 tropes that gathered the most votes.

You can also submit a trope of your own, I will choose my favourite ones amongst the ones I have chosen.

One fic every week at least, until the new year!

You can stay on anon or not, just think about sending me your message through my askbox, or your vote/submission will not be taken into account.

 I hope you all have fun with this event! Have a lovely winter, and a Merry Christmas!

List of the tropes you can choose from :

-        Fake dating AU : Oh no! You need a fake boyfriend/girlfriend for the holidays, or your parents will never shut up about you coming alone!

-        Snowstorm: You are both stuck, alone, in the middle of nowhere, and it's snowing too hard outside to go anywhere. Brilliant. What on earth are you going to do, waiting for the storm to wane?

-        Blanket: it's freezing, and there is only one blanket. You might die frozen, who knows... Guess you two will have to share…

-        Cookies: baking cookies and gingerbread for Christmas! It turns ill quickly though. Who was the first one to throw flour at the other?

-        Snowball: the snowball fight is merciless, just the way it should be.

-        Shopping: Shopping for presents is hell. Or is it?

-        Fall: Oh no! It was slippery! And you fell… on them… dear, you two are very close… why is your heart dancing the samba like that?

-        One bed: You're stuck in an hotel. Only one room left. And there's only one bed…

-        Freezing: No blanket. No fire. Nothing to keep warm. What can you do, except cuddle… huh… I mean… share body-warmth?

-        Lazy: It's snowing outside. But it's warm in your home. A lazy afternoon cuddling and watching snowflakes sounds lovely.

-        Dog issue: Your dog has run off! Across that field! You're running after him, and pouf! The next thing you know, you've fallen in snow. You're damped and cold, you guess you have to accept the help of your lovely neighbour to help get you warm again.

-        Decorating the tree: It's so lovely to decorate the Christmas tree together!

-        Neighbour: you can't carry that big tree on your own. Or maybe you're missing an ingredient for the family dinner. Guess you'll have to ask that lovely neighbour of yours some help…

-        Gift: You open your gifts together, and it's perfect!

-        First Christmas: It's your first Christmas together. It's a little strange, but also so cute!

-        Alcohol: Ha, partying for the new year. Of course. You're a little drunk though, so I guess they will have to take care of you.

-        Oops: One of you has had a little too much to drink for the new year. And none of you meant to confess what has been confessed but… oops.

-        Walk in the snow: Just a cute afternoon spent exploring through the cold

-        Happy New Year!: It is a tradition to kiss the person next to you for New Year's Eve when midnight strikes. Right?

-        Carols: It started as a ridiculous karaoke, you're not sure when it turned into dancing together.

-        Mistletoe: Where does that mistletoe come from? But now, you're both under it, and well, guess you have to kiss. You know, for… hmm… the sake of traditions.

-        Kids: Christmas morning with your children

-        Resolutions: you write down your list of good resolutions for the new year together.

-        Ice-skating: you go ice-skating together, and there are a lot of falling involved, but a lot of giggles too.

-        Secret Santa: You have organized a secret santa at work. What you don't know, is that your crush and you have picked up each other's name.

[hiphopguerrilla]

Pro Sasuke Uchiha : Constructive Criticism of Kishimoto’s Antagonist

Disclaimer: I am not a critic. To anyone that disagrees, my humble opinion doesn’t count for anything because I’m just some loser in his mom’s basement as far as you’re concerned. I’m little more than a disappointed fan. Thank you for reading if you’ve go this far. Hope you can read the rest with objective consideration and without bias. This will be a long rant, you’ve been forewarned.

So I’ve been on a spree of criticism of Kishi’s work. Cannot help being criticil of an Artist/Writer who has let me down just as many times as he/she has inspired me. So because he let me down he has inspired me to write about some of the things I’m very critical of because I have no closure from the series and I can’t help but feel “Next Generation”  wasn’t about love for writing the story anymore.

In the beginning of the series Sasuke isn’t yet the antagonist, but it’s clear Kishi intended the to of them to be rivals while building what was supposed to be, and in many ways, is a story of incredible bonds and friendship. It was clear he had a motivation behind what he wanted to do as far as the character developing into and I see, it seems anyway, that he deviated from that. 

By the early stages of the character development it is established through Sasuke’s monolgue to Sakura “I am an avenger” that he never stopped grieving the loss of his clan and family and that he wanted the same closure fans never got. He said to Kakashi “I will restore my clan” and while I’m certain this isn’t meant to be taken literally he wanted to do right by their memory. 

Understanding that he didn’t just lose his family, he was literally tortured at the age of 8(forced to endure something that had Kakashi bed ridden for a week), he lost connection to his heritage(remember Madara is one of the founding members of the village yet Sasuke had no clue who he was), he lost his idol in Itachi and was forced to deal with a damaged psyche that no one could really repair Itachi drilling in his head that he was some sort of coward. He has both an inferiority complex and a superiority complex because of the standard the Clan is held to. Rather than knowing what is and isn’t true with his parents to guide him through his mess of a life.

What’s disappointing is by the end of the series that wasn’t the main take away from his character. Why? Because the development of his character was stifled by Naruto. Yes, I’m talking about the main character of the story. It’s very relevant to know and understand that Kishi didn’t take time to develop many of the characters in the story. Tenten, Hinata, Lee to an extent, Ino, Choji, Kiba, and Shino among others I may even be forgetting because....yea its obvious.

So to the point. Naruto borders on being a gary stu because, seemingly, Kishi was more partial to him than anyone Sasuke included. That’s not to say Sasuke didn’t get charcter development, just he didn’t develop in a way that was understandable to the majority of fans.

As I was saying about the end of the story none of this is understood. Worst part being that Itachi overshadows Sasuke’s character in a way that is completely disrespectful to fans who had great insterest in the development of him as Sasuke’s antagonist. I do not in anyway disagree with the choice to make Itachi remain his loving brother, who made a difficult choice for the good of the village and the one he cared for the most, but to be honest the logic that comes out of Itachi’s choice and reasoning by fans loving him so yet having great disdain for Sasuke as describe: Whiny, emo, ungrateful, selfish, among other things is a fallacy. Most of those things are inaccurate as well hypocritical to praise Itachi at the same time. 

Firstly lest start with him being ungrateful or selfish. It was immediately after the death of his clan, that this clearly life altering even influenced him to decide without doubt that he would devote his life to seeing JUSTICE for what happened then. This is how the story STARTED, please understand that it wasn’t until part 2 that this turns into full blown revenge and blind hatred in a completely hypocritical manner that made fans who already disliked Sasuke absolutely loathe him. I’ll say again this is merely so Naruto could play hero and save his soul(see there I’m getting irritated thinking about this already).

If you have a goal like becoming Hokage, or President of the United States, or First Pick in the NFL draft, or becoming head Medic nin, whatever real life or fictional you know that you can’t just decide to give it up because people say it is Irrational. Sasuke’s ultimate goal was to avenge his family. That meant he had to become strong enough to defeat Itachi, which meant sacrifices must be made.

What did he sacrifice. A normal childhood, his friendships, and the closest thing he had to a family since his blood relatives died. Yet Sasuke is selfish? Sacrificing your frienships and chance at a normal life in favor of a decision you made at 8 years old because of the family you LOVED is probably the most selfless thing a person can do. I often see people compare him to both Kakashi, and Naurto in these cases to justify loathing his character and making silly memes to ridicule him.

Kakashi couldn’t get revenge on anyone, seeing as how his only family commit suicide, The White Fang was not murdered/slaughtered. As far as Rin and Obito, they died in the line of duty they weren’t killed simply because some evil bastard(as far as Sasuke knew) wanted to “Test my power.” 

Naruto, had no connection to his family until Jiraiya and also had no concept of vengence until Jiraiya died, and If we are really to give credit where its due, the only reason he chooses not to avenge him is 1. Because it would go agaisnt his Masters wishes 2. Because he see the weight Sasuke’s had to carry and wants to free his friend from that pain. He can’t do that if he chooses to walk a path that was not his. 

Another thing that Kishi made very clear was that was the point. Sasuke was at his best when he was written as a character that manifests his own reality, and walks his own path without regret. Let’s not forgot that Fugaku is nothing like Jiraiya. He didn’t raise Sasuke to aim for peace or anything like that, in fact, one of the Uchiha’s rules is that they don’t take prisoners. Yet another reason Sasuke took it upon himself to kill Itachi, it was his duty.

Then of course, yes I’m about to go there you’ve been wared, there’s the SasuSaku thing. Why? Just why? This relationship, was never called for from the get go. Another reason so many Americans are so messed up that they don’t understand the difference between true love and infatuation. Where does Sakura’s “love” begin, where does Sasuke’s more importantly? Was that established with any certainty?

In the beginning the bulk off their interaction consisted with Sasuke ignoring her and calling her annoying. The nicest thing he says to her the entire series is “Thank you.” seriously? Not “I’ll miss you.” not  “I care for you...deeply” but “Thank you.” Thats like something you say when someone passes the salt at the dinner table.

What is their connection? I refuse to bring up other pairs because is about Sasuke development as a character not SasuSaku. Sakura does nothing but follow Sasuke around like a love sick puppy and by the end of the series, it somehow pays off and while it may feel like a win for fans of that pair, to me as a fan of the overall series and writing that makes sense even in a fictional world where characters have superpowers. There should be some logic there at least. 

What we know at the start of part one is Sakura is a 12 year old girl with a crush on the most popular boy in school. Hilarious, that’s the foundation of this pairing, never in part one and hardly anything in the series at all does it explain where these “romantic” feelings developed. It least we know why Hinata admires Naruto (sorry nothing more on NaruHina,another time perhaps). 

And Sasuke never shows any affection to her what so ever besides “Thank you.” of course and gently lying her on the park bench. Don’t think I don’t notice the SasuSaku moments either. Like when he was about to break both of Zaku’s arms and Sakura hugs him. Probably as close ot romance as it gets and Sasuke is being hugged from behind. He doesn’t initiate the hug and he doesn’t hug her back, he stands there suprised at probably the first time he’s been hugged since his mother was murdered.

Understand this, if you take that as a sign Sasuke felt the same, fine. That is absolutely acceptable, even understandable. However, for me, that is a bit half assed. It’s really not much to go on over the course of 700 chapters to say they “fell in love”. Because to me love does not equate to trying to force someone to notice you for two years, having attempts at affection met with disdain and even physical assault, like when he slaps the apples she spent so much time carving out of her hands as she visited him and tried to feed him at the hospital. 

I’m sure I don’t have to mention the actual attempted murder at the summit to anybody so that’s all I’ll say about it for now. Now back to Sasuke’s overall story as I prepare to close. The summit was probably the biggest chance to turn Sasuke into an admirable character in fans eyes. 

Instead what Kishi does is comepletely wreck his character, so he can be the antagonist and be saved by Naruto. There’s even this little comparison by Karin where she see’s how evil and corrupt Sasuke is, another innocent he tried to kill, and then sees how pure Naruto’s soul is. It was ridiculous. I understand Naruto is the hero of the story, but that never meant Sasuke HAD to be the villain.

He even turns the entire situation with Danzo and his orders to have the Uchiha clan annihilated into a complete mess. Sasuke has gone batshit, and rather than being a person trying to do right by his clan and his brother’s memory, Kishi turns him into this absolute fiend who will murder even his own allies just to make some silly point based on a story told him by a guy who’s real faces he’s never seen even once. A guy who wasn’t even the real Madara Uchiha. As if Sasuke was never strong enough to separate himself from his emotions and what he believes is right. Itachi was already dying and he wanted Sasuke  to kill him as atonement. He killed the uchiha in favor of the leaf why would he want Sasuke to destroy the village.

If he were written properly Sasuke would’ve killed Danzo and walked his own path, facing Naruto one final time and either dying or leaving all of that mess behind. It would’ve been fine for him to return to the village if he there to sow seed and start a new with the Uchiha clan. Instead he's a glorified prize for Sakura and Sasusaku fans, as well as someone Naruto basically stalked for 2 years just to force him to not even be in the picture anyway.

As I said in the beginning, or someone in the middle maybe. Sasuke was at his best when he was written as an independent character walking his own path and sacrificing what mattered most to him in favor of doing right by his people, his family, his clan. I thank anyone who made it to the bottom of this post.

[mageinabarrel]

2018 was yet another year of evolution in my journey as an anime fan. Throughout the year, I spent less time watching anime and less time engaging in anime-related activities like doing freelance writing, blogging, and livetweeting shows. So as I started to consider “my year in anime,” I wondered if I would have much to say.

I needn’t have worried. The year is 2018 and anime is still good, so in the spirit of the 12 days of anime project (that I didn’t do this year)—here are twelve anime things that brought me some joy this year.

I Rediscovered Anime Crushes

It had been a long time. A long time since I’d felt those little flutteries you get when an anime character is really cute, really good, and really nice. But even before I knew that Ginko was a space princess, I was enamored. Cute anime girls are a dime a dozen, but characters that exude genuine warmth and care in the way Ginko does—from her time as a princess all the way through her cathartic moment in Planet With‘s finale—are something special.

So I spent a nice time with Planet With, amidst all of the show’s other wonderful strengths, feeling a cozy bunch of crushy feelings about Ginko Kuroi. It’s silly, but it was nice to be reminded what it felt like to have an anime crush once again. And, seeing as Ginko is far and away the Best Girl of 2018, my heart couldn’t have made a better choice.

Space princess! Space princess! Space princess!

Finding My Fate Anime Niche

I’ve never really been much of a Fate fan. After an extremely poor experience with Fate/Zero, there’s never really been much to attract me to the sprawling franchise. But when you’re needing an that you can put on while washing the dishes and cooking and Netflix shoves Fate/Apocrypha into your face, what can you do? You can watch it, be surprised at how much you enjoy it (especially Astolfo), enjoy the fact that the two opposing Ruler characters are both Catholics, be wowed by the stunning animation of #22, and finish the show somewhat more positively disposed to Fate than you’ve been before.

This will lead you to give Fate/Extra LAST ENCORE a shot, and after the show gets over its early inclination to appeal to the audience’s presumed base desires for Nero, you’ll be stunned as the show pulls a truly evocative atmosphere out of the now-cliché SHAFT stylings you thought were too tired to be effective. You won’t understand quite everything that happens, but the tremendous thematic coherence and the way the character relationships evolve from dull to genuine will grip you. It’ll be one of your favorite anime of the year. And, in combination with Apocrypha, it’ll leave you feeling like maybe alternate universe Fate series are the ones for you—which is good to know.

3 Perfect Episodes

If you asked me to name my favorite episode of TV anime of the year, I’d probably give the honor to Hugtto Precure‘s #16. But, fortunately, I don’t have to make such a specific choice here, so I can also add Yama no Susume S3‘s #10 and SSSS.GRIDMAN‘s #9 to that list. If you watch these three episodes (honorable mention to Hugtto #4), you’ll likely see the stylistic similarities between them. Of course, there are also plenty of things to distinguish them from each other, but it’s those similarities—a strong affiliation with cinematographic language, a tight grip on the power of atmospheric storytelling, and a webgen animation-adjacent visual style favoring bold and flat colors—that stayed with me.

But more important even than those smaller details is a sort of ideological unity that these episodes share. Each is distinctly a cartoon, yet also displays an impressive level of cinematic sophistication. Although some might be tempted to place cartoon and cinema in opposition to each other, these three episodes are a brilliant refutation of such narrow thinking—they embrace, even dance, in the best qualities of both. They are proof that cartoon-making and film-making are not separate arts but, rather, one and the same.

Hisomaso Wins Everything

When it comes to TV anime this year, one show stands head and shoulders above the rest for me: Hisone to Maston. Yet another show confined to the Netflix dungeons, I wasn’t prepared to let the streaming giant deprive me of my chance to watch Mari Okada’s return to TV anime weekly, and Hisomaso, yes, was worth it. From story to scripts, background art to character design, OP to ED, Hisomaso had it all—including the X-factor of the adorable dragons.

In short, there was really nothing else that aired that was anything like Hisomaso. Cute and quirky throughout, thoughtful and incisive at times, funny and dramatic in turns, this anime had basically everything. In the final rundown of the year, I expect it’ll likely go criminally under-watched, underrated, and under-remembered, but such is the reality of the anime times in which we live. I, at least, will remember Nao head with immense fondness. We salute you, brave solider, and all you stand for.

An Ode to a Strawberry

What do I think of Darling in the FranXX? I think it’s bad. I didn’t finish it, but I watched enough to consider it a representative portion, so I’m comfortable making that kind of wholistic statement. Basically, I think the very early criticism I made of the show proved to be a crucial flaw in the whole dang thing. But Ichigo? Ichigo was very good. She might have done a few things wrong, but not many. I liked Ichigo. 苺 means strawberry, and Ichigo was a very good strawberry with a killer character design.

No anime watcher is unfamiliar with the phenomenon of a good character—or even just a character the really appealed to them personally—stuck in a bad show, but I’d be hard pressed to think of another character who surpasses Ichigo’s gap between her relative goodness and the quality of her show. Not only was she cute and a childhood friend, but it was fascinating watching her navigate her complex feelings for Hiro, try her best to be a good leader for her team, and struggle against her own flaws. Best girl? Heck yeah. Eat your heart out, Zero Two stans!

Matsumoto Chocolate

This year, Rie Matsumoto (Heartcatch Precure! Hana no Miyako de Fashion Show…Desu ka!?, Kyousougiga, Blood Blockade Battlefront) storyboarded a few random episodes for other anime here and there. But in the time that she’s had a last major project, which if you’re counting like I am is THREE DAMN YEARS, other of her contemporaries have had multiple films released and done other great things. Meanwhile, aforementioned storyboards, the Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond ED, and whispers of a possibly discontinued film project aside, Matsumoto’s existence itself has been in question.

That’s why, when “Baby, I Love You Daze,” a music video/commercial directed by Riechang-kantoku herself and backed with some legitimate animation power, appeared almost out of the blue, I experienced a rush of joy unlike anything else I felt this year. Not only was Matsumoto back with something completely original, but it was a delightful, energetic little thing emblematic of pretty much everything I love about her as a director.

Please 2019. Give us something, literally anything. An announcement, an actual show or film. I don’t care. Give us back Rie Matsumoto.

This Bit is about Liz and the Blue Bird…

Wow, I saw a lot of anime movies (in theatres!) this year! Thankfully, I wasn’t asked to be on any year-end anime panels, so I wasn’t forced to make a choice that would kill me—to pick my favorite anime of the year. Liz and the Blue Bird, which is a stunning, delicate, spectacular, [blah blah blah how to make actual words about this damn thing] film, would be one of the top contenders, although as you’ve seen I can barely articulate what about it impressed me so much. But this is a blog post, so I will try.

If we set aside the craft elements (HA! You coward!), the heart of Liz is that its resolution is about something like learning to let go. Mizore and Nozomi are different people, with their own paths to follow in life. And yet, at the same time, they love each other deeply, and that love makes such realizations difficult to even perceive—as both struggle to do throughout most of the film—and to accept. But that catharsis of letting go, which is in many ways similar to the slow process of grief after the death of a loved one, is healthy. Love can tempt us to possessiveness, to illusions of control and ownership. But we may find in letting go that love can flourish in newer, healthier, and truer ways than we’ve known. [Editor: This paragraph might be complete garbage. Please give Bless some leeway if you think so. An attempt was at least made.]

…and This Bit is about Maquia.

I could not pick between Liz and Maquia if you asked me. I could not do it. Unlike the previous pair of Yamada/Okada analogues, Koe no Katachi and Anthem of the Heart (which is dominated by Anthem), these two films are at once so similar in concern (love) and yet so different in every other way that I could not, in my great fondness for each, possibly choose between them. They are, together, the best anime I saw this year. Fortunately, unlike with Liz, I’ve already struggled through the pain of writing about stupidly good things with Maquia. So you can read that if you like.

Maquia‘s merits left to my prior writing, the other thing that made Maquia particularly special for me as a moment in my 2018 anime-watching is what it represents for Mari Okada’s career. Okada was the first anime creator’s name I ever learned, and it was because she had been involved with so many anime I loved. So seeing her continue to grow as a writer over time, seeing her reputation improve, and seeing her career flourish to the point that she was the chief director for her own movie has been really special—and Maquia is, in many ways, the culmination of that journey so far. Here’s to you, Okada-san! May you have many more works to come!

Owned by Macross. Again.

Early in the year, I watched Macross Flashback 7. Now, Macross has some horribly gratuitous parts to it—and I love them all—but you could make a very, very compelling case that FB7 is caps them all. The plot of the OVA/movie/special/whatever is that Ozama Lee finds some VHS tapes that basically contain the footage of Macross 7, which results in most the main members of Macross Frontier coming over to his and Ranka’s apartment to watch them. Yes, the Macross Frontier characters get together to have a Macross 7 watch party. I could type that out again in all caps, but I won’t.

That on its own is pretty pandering, but then the whole thing concludes with a Sheryl and Ranka mega-medley of Macross 7 songs with Basara even appearing in some of the background vocals. I was basically in tears by the end of the performance, which is just ridiculous, but that’s just what Macross does to me. It swings for the fences, trusts you love Macross, and gives you the fanservice you want, with big guitars and Sheryl and Ranka belting “OMAE NO MUNE NI MO LOVE HEART” in unison, and the gleeful stupidity of it all just smacks you in the gut and you feel the tears coming because it’s Macross, dammit, and you love Macross. Point, Shoji Kawamori.

A Comic Girl Isn’t As Good as a Doujin Game Artist, but I’ll Take It Anyways

If 2017 was the year of Saekano Flat, then 2018 was the year of me desperately hoping I’d find another show about creatives that would move me in the same way. I didn’t, but I did find Comic Girls, which gave me enough periodic artist anxiety that it earned a mention here.

Actually, looking back on Comiga, I think I actually didn’t give the show the credit it deserved at the time. While it was airing, one of my main complaints about it was that Kaos’ perpetual incompetence made it difficult to believe that she was indeed a manga artist with an editor, but then I think about my own haphazard art practice habits and my own incompetence despite my desire to be an artist and suddenly I feel like maybe it was spot on. So, just like Kaos, as down in the dumps as I might feel about my work and my talent and the speed at which I’m progressing, I’m not going to give up. Even though it hurts sometimes, I’m not going to give up! So yeah, thanks for that, Comiga.

METAL OVERMAN KING GAINER

In 2018, I finished watching Overman King Gainer. Inspired by my positive experience with Reconguista in G, I was interested in watching another original Tomino show, and settled on King Gainer mostly because I’d seen the OP on YouTube, and thought it was awesome. This proved to be a good choice, as King Gainer has many good reasons to watch it. I enjoyed the show quite a lot, and had fun tweeting about it and learning about some aspects of its production.

But that OP… I went out a bought it and let me tell you, there is nothing like coming to the end of a run with the Overman King Gainer OP pumping in your ears as your make a final sprint to the tree that marks the end of your workout. King Gainer‘s broadcast ended in 2003, but that song is timeless. 2018 may have been a crappy year for the world as a whole, but according to iTunes I listened to “King Gainer Over” about 60 times, so it’s impossible to say whether the year was truly bad or not.

And those were the highlights of my year in anime! I’ll probably put together a little graphic at some point for my top shows, but this’ll be the only blog post from me wrapping up the year. Happy New Year’s to you all, and here’s to a wonderful 2019!

What were some of your favorite shows, episodes, moments, or anything else of anime in 2018?

12 Anime Things that Made Me Happy in 2018 2018 was yet another year of evolution in my journey as an anime fan. Throughout the year, I spent less time watching anime and less time engaging in anime-related activities like doing freelance writing, blogging, and livetweeting shows.

[mydadisindianajones]

I’m a bit late on this, but I want to share a #metoo moment of my life for those who say “If it really happened why didn’t she tell someone?” It’s not sexual in nature, instead about abuse. 

side note: just finished writing... and wow it went on longer than I was planning on. Feel free to skip this or read the tl;dr at the bottom.

When I moved to this area I was 18 and fresh out of high school. I was 3,000 miles away from the place a spent all my life and needed to find a new community. I started attending a local church with a huge college age congregation. Quickly I put myself into volunteer positions. Now the college pastor was amazing; his sermons were very biblically based, he always had time for you and remembered your name even if you only attended twice. The staff was wonderful and open, they always had a place for you whatever your gifts were. They put me in prayer services (I’d listen to and pray over people if they asked for it after the bible study) and setup/break down. The ministry itself was a blessing, and through them I met a really solid core group of friends.

Through this group of friends I met a guy, we’ll call him ‘R’. R was sweet, extremely handsome and well built, charismatic, would give you the shirt off his back. In essence the ~dream~ Christian guy and many girls fawned over him. I thought he was cool but would never held a candle to any of the girls who had crushes, so I never invested any feelings. (Can’t get hurt if you don’t have a crush. *taps forehead*) That was until he started showing interest in me. When we started dating I knew he wouldn’t be around for long, since he was joining the Navy which was a lifelong dream of his since immigrated to the U.S. when he was a kid. However I didn’t care. The beginning few months of our relationship were wonderful. He was passionate, sweet, told me everything a girl could want to hear. “You’re beautiful, I love you.” He would call me endearing names in his native tongue and when we got to see each other sparks flew. However after about six months cracks started showing.

Around this time R became increasingly controlling and jealous. It started with telling me I couldn’t be friends with my ex’s. Sure, I could do that, I mean it sucked but I was ~in love~. Then it was I couldn’t be friends with certain guys, and I was like okay... I got to choose. (During our relationship some friends hit on me/asked me out knowing full well my relationship status. I declined every time because I’m a one man woman) Then it was I couldn’t be friends with any men. I would tell him okay, but never cut the close friendships off and would just tell myself that he was having a hard time being so far away.  Then he told me I couldn’t be friends with certain girls. I value my female friendships and asked him why. He said my one friend ‘K’ wore shorts that were too short. I laughed over the phone and told him I wasn’t doing that. I was not losing my girlfriends because he didn’t like their clothing choice.

That was when he became INCREDIBLY passive aggressive. He would go days without answering my calls then when I wouldn’t answer threatened to go AWOL so he could fly home and teach me a lesson. He would pick fights and debate with me like it was his favorite thing to do. When I wouldn’t take his side he would say “I’m the man! You’re supposed to submit to me!” which I would reply with, “We aren’t even engaged, so no I’m not going to. And if you keep acting like this then we will never be.”

The kicker was when he, during a spat that had nothing to do with men, said, “I want to break up with you just to see how long it takes to get back with your ex.” I was FLOORED. I told him that was rude, unbecoming of him, and that I was tempted to just leave him right there. I don’t know what he expected my reaction to be, because he began stumbling with his words and backtracking, “Well, it’s my squadmates. They’re trying to bet on how long it’ll take for you to go back to him.” (Side note: that ex he is referring to and I became friends again later on, but never became romantic) He then went on to talk about little Indy’s and little R’s running around in our future.

At that moment I decided I couldn’t be with him anymore... but there was a problem: he was a paragon, almost a god-like hero in our friend group. If I broke it off I would be seen as some heartless bitch who stomped on his love.

Luckily for me I had began attending another college ministry which we all so lovingly named ‘hippie bible study.’ It was much smaller and more intimate. Some of the people were from the first college ministry, but the majority were new faces. There were usually 20-30 people who attended every Thursday, and it was evenly split down the middle. The girls were amazing and wonderful Christian feminists who prayed with and supported one another. 

 I broke up with R over the phone an hour before my bible study started. He was upset, but there was nothing he could do since he was literally across the country from me. I remember feeling such joy, and broke down into tears when I told the girls. They hugged me, prayed with me, and a couple spent the night with me to make sure I would be okay.

Now you may be saying that’s the opposite of #metoo. You had a lot of support from these girls! Well, yes, but all that leads up to my ‘aha’ moment.

The rumor mill had been doing its job and a week later our friend group had all caught wind of our breakup. I had been setting up chairs and banners with one of our mutual friends and she lightly brought up the subject. I told myself I would not talk about everything that went on because I didn’t want to feel like I was trashing his character or trying to alienate his friends... but she was insistent on more than just a “we weren’t cut out for each other” excuse. 

So I told her. It spilled out of my mouth like a wave at high tide. I didn’t cry or get emotional, but I didn’t spare one detail. After I told her she was quiet for a little like she was processing all I told her. After a few moments she said, “I don’t know if I can believe that, that doesn’t sound like R. Are you sure all that happened?”

It was like being smacked in the face. My own friend who knows me, who knew me for years, who I volunteered with, prayed with, had game nights with did not believe my word. I had no marks on my body from him, instead the abuse I endured was silent and invisible. If she did not believe me, who else in our friend group wouldn’t? How long until she told everyone what I said, how long til it got back to him, and how long until he started trashing my character?

I spent another year at that church before I felt like I needed to move on. After that relationship things changed, people changed, and I never truly felt welcomed afterward. Oh the pastor was still open and welcoming, and the sermons were top notch, but the eyes on me told me everything I needed to know; People would have rather believed his words over mine.

tl;dr: Why don’t people come forward when they’re being abused? Because the majority would rather believe in the fantastical good nature of the perpetrator than the first hand account of victim.

[llamasarecoolerthanyou]

Summer love – Stephan Leyhe & Andreas Wellinger

I can’t believe I’m posting my first Lellinger fanfiction. But after enjoying all the amazing stories from @loving-sports (which everyone should read ❤️ ), I got inspired to try writing one myself. I hope it’s not too bad. 😝  

! I changed their sport careers to make the plot work. Stephan and Markus are in the A-team, Andi and Karl in the B-team.

Summer love – Stephan Leyhe & Andreas Wellinger

Andreas felt pretty lucky. Even though he was only on the B-team, this year he was flying to Spain for the pre-season camp.

Usually, only the A-team got to go abroad to prepare for the next year’s competitions. The rest spent weeks in a hardly posh hotel in a German country where nothing ever happened. After the training sessions, your free time activities were limited to reading, movies or cards if your teammates were feeling adventurous. Which wasn’t as often as one might think.

Suffice it to say that the Bavarian often had to go as far as bribery in order not to die of boredom. His pride and the sneaked-in chocolate stash had suffered. It was ridiculous how utterly boring his friends were.

That’s why he literally jumped from joy upon hearing the news. His head coach was going to miss this year’s camp, and as they were supposed to be leaving in two days there was only one option. The B-team was going to be temporarily supervised by Werner Schuster.

It was most likely only a formality and their assistant coach was going to be running everything, but it didn’t change the fact that Schuster and his boys were going to Spain. Therefore Andreas Wellinger, an eighteen-year-old ski jumper from Rupholding, was going to finally live a little.

Carelessly throwing his clothes into the suitcase, he was imagining all the afternoon surfing that awaited him and hoping the gossip about the famous parties thrown by the star team was true. After all, there was no way he was wasting another summer playing Schafkopf.

Two months later

Okay, so the late night parties turned out to be a total bogus. The A-team, though more eager to chat or go out after the gym, didn’t differ that much from his own teammates.

Still, Andi couldn’t care less if they had watched soap operas all day. He didn’t plan to spend any more time with them than it took to say hello. No, all his free time was reserved for one person. Stephan Leyhe, a twenty-one-year-old Hessian, who was still waiting for his first big success in the World Cup.

Their first meeting was a total cliché.

The B-team has just arrived and was finishing checking in at the reception when the more accomplished sportsmen showed up. Only half-listening to his roommate Karl, as the two walked to the elevator, Andreas was too busy posting his latest selfie on Instagram to notice the man coming from the opposite direction. Until they bumped into each other and his phone fell out of his hands.

“I’m sorry, I got lost in thought,” he heard someone say as he bent down to pick it up.

“It’s all fine, I should have watched where I was…“ he started to answer before lifting his head to find a pair of brown eyes, belonging to a handsome man, staring straight at him. Only after noticing a growing smirk on the older one’s face did he snap out of it with a blush and finished his sentence. “…going.”

“Stephan,” introduced himself the brunette and extended his hand.

“Andi,” responded Andreas, shaking his hand and feeling mortified when his voice came out much higher than normal.

Suddenly, they heard someone yelling: “Stephan! Hurry up or I’m leaving and good luck finding our room.”

“I better go, I wouldn’t put it past Markus to leave me stranded here. It was nice to meet you. Sorry again for running into you,” said Stephan with a grin and started to walk towards his waiting roommate.  

Andreas continued to stare stupidly after him until he heard his friend laughing.

“Man, you should have seen yourself. Somebody has a crush!” teased Karl.

“Shut up,” spat out the blond grabbing his suitcase and setting off towards the elevator, not waiting for his teammate.

So, it wasn’t by any means the smoothest introduction he could imagine. Fortunately, he was soon given the opportunity to make a better impression.

After spending the evening unpacking and listening to Geiger’s further mocking, Andreas decided to go to bed early. Having spent the night dreaming about a certain ski jumper with the sweetest smile in the world, he woke up an hour before the alarm. He knew he wasn’t going to fall back asleep and decided to get dressed and head to breakfast.

Having grabbed something to eat, he sat down at an empty table. This early the place was almost deserted with the exception of the hotel staff and an older couple in the corner.

A few minutes later, he was startled from his thoughts by the very person he has been daydreaming about.

“Mind if I sit here?” asked someone stopping by his table.

Andreas looked up from his plate and saw the guy from yesterday staring at him with a friendly grin.

“Go ahead,” he replied quickly.

Muttering “thanks”, Stephan took the place opposite him and began to eat his sandwich.

“So, how are you? Excited to start the season?” asked the older one after a moment of silence.

Andi was a little surprised that the man, who was basically a stranger, decided to join him and wanted to talk. It was far more common for the jumpers from the A and B teams to keep to themselves during the competitions or the rare combined trainings.

On the other hand, the only other option was sitting alone. He silently thanked Karl for annoying him enough to make him go to sleep early yesterday.    

“Of course but mainly I’m thrilled to be here. There’s really no comparison to our usual location.”

“Yeah, I remember it all too well,” chuckled the brunette. “Have you just joined your team? I’m sure I would have remembered seeing you during a competition.”

Andreas felt his face turn red for the second time since arriving in Spain. He wondered why his body was betraying him all of a sudden. All the blushing and nerves, when he was usually the loudest person in the room making others feel intimidated not the other way around.

“It’s my second season on the B-team but last year I got injured before I had the chance to earn a spot in a World Cup competition.”

“I’m sorry, that’s always tough. I’m sure you’ll have better luck this year.”

“I hope so. I’m so over the kids' team.”

“Come on now, you’ve got time. How old are you? Seventeen?” asked Stephan laughing.

“Eighteen,” mumbled Andi reluctantly. Did he have to look so young? There goes any chance he had with the brunette.

“Sorry, my mistake,” said ironically Leyhe, sending him a smile to show that he’s joking. “Ok, tell me if Muller is still the physiotherapist…”

When the others started to gather in the room, Andreas looked at his watch and was surprised to see that they have been talking for over an hour. It didn’t matter that they had just met or that Stephan was a little older. They hadn’t brought up any heavy topics, but Andi felt that he could tell him anything and not be judged or mocked.

In the following eight weeks you could rarely see one without the other. As soon as their respective trainings were over, they would meet up and spend their free time together much to the annoyance of their other friends.

Most often they would stroll along the beach, sharing stories and secrets. They talked some more about Andi’s injury and his fear of missing out on a successful career because of the forced break. Stephan admitted to feeling frustrated with his slow progress and insecure about his position on the team during the upcoming World Championships.

Sometimes they didn’t say a word and just enjoyed each other’s company. When Stephan was in a good mood, he would let his new friend teach him surfing despite being pretty terrible at it.  

Today was their last day together. Tomorrow the B-team was going to travel home while the others stayed on for another week.

Andreas had finished a few hours earlier than usual at the gym, their coach giving them some time to pack, and was now waiting for his friend in his room.

He tried not to think about the inevitably approaching moment when they will have to say goodbye. At last he had to admit, at least to himself, what he had denied all this time. He has fallen for Stephan. There was no other way to explain his feelings lately.

He wanted to spend every possible moment with his older friend and missed him like crazy on the rare occasions when they went out with their separate teams. His heart was slowly breaking at the thought that after today they may go back to being strangers, sporadically exchanging hellos when passing each other during the competitions.

Of course, there are phone calls and e-mails. They will probably meet at some point during the winter if his results are good enough to start in the World Cup. But how often do long distance relationships work out?

And it wasn’t even a romantic one, just a friendship. As much as he felt like they have known each other for years, the truth was they had met two months ago. Andi felt deep inside that something was ending forever.

Anyhow, his feelings for Stephan were going to stay a secret. He couldn’t imagine telling him. He knew that the brunette, despite his kindness and compassion, didn’t see in him a potential partner but rather a kid brother.

Shaking off his wistful thoughts, he decided to focus on enjoying the evening and after quickly choosing an outfit went to the bathroom to prepare.

Soon they were sitting in a café, eating ice-cream and laughing after Stephan told him about Markus’s another crazy idea. It was almost midnight when they finally got back to the hotel after taking a final walk on the beach.

“I’m gonna miss you,” whispered Andreas, hoping that in these simple words his friend will hear everything he wasn’t ready to say.

They were standing in front of his room, quietly saying their goodbyes so as not to wake up Karl. The blonde tried hard not to cry, not wanting to look like a child again.

“I’m going to miss you too, Andi,” said Stephan and cupped Andi’s face in his hands, pulling the younger one closer and kissing him hard.

Andreas returned the kiss and felt a few tears escape his eyes. They stayed locked together for what felt like hours. Finally, Stephan slowly broke the kiss and wiped the tears from his face.

Not saying anything else, the older man took a step back and left with a sad smile.

Andi entered his room, not bothering to try and stop the tears. All he wanted was to hide under the covers and cry, but he quickly put on his pajamas to avoid any questions from Karl in the morning. He spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about what happened.

He must have fallen asleep sometime during the night because the next thing he heard was his roommate, yelling at him to get up as they were leaving in half an hour. Feeling numb he got dressed, finished packing and before long they were on the bus waiting for everyone to turn up.

Having chosen a seat with a view of the hotel, he spent the minutes before their departure staring at the main entrance but the one person he wanted to see was nowhere to be found.

                                                            ***

Sequel?

[ganymedesclock]

the fact that zarkon is always in his armor (i don't believe we've ever seen him without, even at his wedding) speaks a great deal for his character. i hope we see lotor without his in future episodes.

Honestly one of the things I really appreciate about Zarkon writing-wise is that he manages to come across like an ostentatious, selfish tyrant, while still being the trend-setting ruler of an incredibly spartan empire.

I’ve said it before but s3e1 is a fascinating illustration of galra culture and its ins and outs at the higher level, so the thing that you have to understand is culturally, the aristocrats here are vain and prone to showing off. They’re flaunting what their culture values, things that they have in abundance.

The TL;DR of this ramble is that rather than the empire stubbornly wearing their “work clothes” to formal occasions? Armor is formal attire for the empire.

Throk defines himself as the ideal under galra culture. He confidently speaks for the fleet as a group and expertly tempts other commanders to his side. He’s the pinnacle of what the empire views as an ideal person, and he defines himself very explicitly and clearly as a warrior. He is a proud soldier, not a mere “enlisted infantryman” (scoff scoff), an individual of rank and power and most importantly of strength.

We see this underlying character established as early as s1e1, and throughout the series. A very specific, ritualistic phrase, offered by Sendak first: “I Conquer In The Name Of Galra.” 

“Vrepit Sa”- a real-world phrase that is the derived root of ‘vampire’, meaning to stick or cling to. And it’s worth noting in DotU and especially in GoLion, the galra were neck-deep in vampire imagery. Zarkon was very batlike in looks, they literally drank goblets full of blood, Haggar once hissed and recoiled from a holy symbol.

The imperial commanders define themselves as predators. They are hunters, they are conquerors. When Lotor basically needles Throk right in his cultural pride, he challenges Throk to prove himself as a soldier. “You say you’re strong, so let’s see you pick up a sword and step into the ring. Prove your worthiness by proving your strength.”

See how this aligns with, say, Morvok, in s2e6, that cheerfully tells the Taujeerians he’s just screwed over that if they deserve to live they’ll prove it by being strong enough to endure. Or how Zarkon states in s1e1 that endangering soldiers in such a way that half of them die will prove that the surviving half will be stronger for it.

The culture of the empire boils down to pride in strength, and pride in mercilessness. So thus the image of an idealized galra is a long-lived and loyal soldier, one who has brutally and mercilessly hacked down any who stands in their path. They are cunning, they are cruel, and they are insatiable. They defer to their betters and discard their subordinates.

And the empire and its high-ranking commanders are greedy, but not in the sense that they want to surround themselves in opulence and gold. Rather...

They seize and hold vast regions, or command huge open spaces for themselves, that they have no intention of filling. Because the point is the invasive and aggressive nature of the deed. The point to Zarkon’s throne room is that as the Ideal Galra according to the empire, he has gorged himself on resources, on territory, on admiration. To approach him, to even be allowed in his presence, the other proud and conquering people in his environment must fold themselves up and become small.

And what this comes back to is that... of course these people are not covering themselves in extravagant resources. When all of their pride comes from being battle-ready soldiers, they cover themselves in armor, and only armor. They name themselves not as dukes, baronesses, or marquises, but as lieutenants, commanders, generals.

Which is why Lotor is able to play Throk like a damn fiddle by daring Throk to face him. The very implication of being not a soldier who will meet his enemies on the field of battle but a coward who’s scheming around behind the scenes creates immense pressure on Throk by the force of his colleagues and especially his allies- allies who backed Throk because they saw him as a better leader than Lotor.

Which is no surprise, really- it’s abundantly obvious that Lotor is not a soldier. He takes a lot from Altean culture and Altea’s social paragons were diplomats, explorers, scientists- and the long skirt of his armor is a piece worn by galra researchers. Lotor wears his hair long, his armor is sleek and smooth compared to the bristling spikes, he chooses to wear his own colors over anything that would depict him as a rank-and-file member of the fleet.

And Lotor’s not trying to pretend he is. He takes no pride in conquest- if he attacks, it’s to further a goal, and he withdraws as soon as that goal is better served a different way. To the Puigian leader, he extends not “it is your destiny to be crushed under my heel because I, a Galra, am superior to you” but crouching to speak to his hostage on his level, trying to entice him with power, with collaboration. His speech in s3e1 is pointedly discarding, even mocking things that the empire considers cultural ideals. Especially the idea of refusing to back down when, in Lotor’s own words, “your repetitive attacks are getting you nowhere.”

Lotor has chosen very pointedly to shape himself to Altean ideals, to value diplomacy, communication, information and observation. Military matters, loss or victory, is only significant to him where it either nets him something valuable or risks taking that away from him. He invokes the imagery of the paladins, who were found worthy for the character of their personality- for virtues like compassion, instinct, curiosity, empathy. 

So what we see with the aristocrats in s3e1, that the fleet wrinkles their collective lip at the very thought of him, makes perfect sense. Because Lotor isn’t just unfitting in the galra ideal, he’s willfully subverting it and criticizing it.

But how does Lotor exemplify this, make his point, pretend to court the fleet’s opinion when he’s actually telling them exactly where to stick it?

He shows up as a gladiator. He shows himself off: all small and willowy, all dodging and evasive tactics- hair and armor in very Altean styles. He wears, proudly and comfortably and very, very obviously everything about him that makes him utterly unacceptable to the empire and he not only tricks everyone and sneaks up on them, but does so by posing as a slave gladiator.

Slaves, and the gladiators in particular, are the single lowest person in Zarkon’s empire. Below the average soldier, below non-galra citizens (who are shown watching gladiatorial matches in s1e3), gladiators live and die for the entertainment of the elites. They’re lab rats without rights.

Consider just how much of an audacious move that is for the prince trying to prove himself, when the empire considers so much as talking to prisoners socially frowned upon. Lotor up and pretended to be one.

And he uses that completely unacceptable, frolicking-about-with-the-lower-class kind of behavior and his completely unacceptable very atypical appearance, and he shows that all off, and then, he says “Hey, Throk. Fight me like a proper galra, because I know you’ve been plotting against me.”

Because Lotor’s just established himself as the most unacceptable atypical galra any of these people have ever seen without explicitly dropping his status as a mixed-race child- and now he’s accusing Throk of being improper by the standards of the empire’s culture.

This is a huge insult. And if Throk doesn’t immediately rise to this, prove himself a soldier, the implication is this outrageous brat is the better of the two of them- because passively folding up is how galra of the empire react to their social betters.

Throk actually doesn’t have any choice to respond. The entire commanding elite basically wheels to him with “Are you gonna let him talk to you like that, Throk? This brat? He wouldn’t know a real galra if it bit him, are you gonna let him accuse you of not being a real soldier?”

And of course the icing of it is, Lotor then proceeds to threaten Throk with the generals. Other “unacceptable galra”, using sneaky underhanded tactics. People Lotor has given the rank of general- making them higher ranked than Throk. Again, in the fleet, galra have some very ritualistic submission behavior to their ‘social betters’.

Lotor’s making it very clear if Throk doesn’t challenge him, that Throk won’t just be bowing his head to Lotor. He’ll be bowing his head to these guys. The generals each, in their own way, challenge Throk to back down- to fold and acknowledge them. Which Throk, a bigoted member of the old guard who doesn’t want to acknowledge Lotor’s legitimacy, much less that of the generals which he would view as even weaker, would rather die than do.

It’s not just a blow to Throk’s pride, Lotor precision suckerpunched Throk’s pride in front of the entire fleet and then sits there smiling because Throk’s fucked.

If Throk does the smart thing and backs down, his insurrection is over. None of his allies will stay behind him. He’s proven himself to be- scare chord- a coward. When elites in the empire are defined as being Proud Warriors, more than anybody else, people who would rather die than accept failure or defeat- if Throk folds, it’s a direct loss of status.

But of course Throk’s not going to be sensible- he can’t afford to be, and more importantly, Lotor just publicly humiliated him. So Throk is going to fight, and he’s going to be working overtime to prove that he’s a real, proper soldier, a true blueblood of the empire: proving how violent, merciless, and aggressive he is.

Which the other reason Throk is fucked is Lotor’s spent quite possibly years honing a fighting style that punishes excess aggression.

It’s a plan that hinges on galra aristocracy being incredibly proud and ostentatious and, just like any other case of nobility, keen to defend their status- with the added thing that in the empire, status is defined by martial prowess and cruelty to “lower status” individuals.

[kyeugh]

Dave and Katherine Discuss Real Life

Author’s Note: this is just a little thing i threw together after reading @antialiasis’ Morphic because the sad ending left me wondering about the future. i originally had plans for it to go further, but i’m not really interested in making this a long-term project, at least for the time being, haha. anyway, i hope you enjoy it!

Calm down now. Be cool.

Katherine took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked damn good. She didn’t think such things very often, but right now, she had no shame in admitting it. She was a little off base in some places, sure— her eyes were rather squinty, for example, and her nose was much too small and high— but you didn’t have to be perfect to look your best, and she certainly did.

Oh, there was also the trio of green horns sticking out of her head, and the fact that her hands were in fact giant roses. But those were minor details, really, hardly worthy of address. At least, that’s what she had to tell herself if she had any hope of making her case.

“Ms. Harrison, five minutes.”

Katherine nodded. “I’m just about ready,” she replied, glaring at her hair in the mirror. She wished she could do something with it. Its utter plainness was all the more obvious when contrasted with her rather fetching pantsuit. Oh, and don’t even get her fucking started on the pantsuit. No one would ever appreciate it for what it was, that being nothing short of a miracle. Just try putting on a tight shirt when your hands are roses and your head is covered in thorns.

Christ, what was she doing? Ruminating on her clothes? In less than five minutes, she would leave her house and step into a car, which would bring her all the way to the town courthouse. How long had it been since she’d been to town? In a car? Outside of her neigborhood, even?

She took a final look at herself in the mirror. Flawed. Perfect. Plain. Beautiful. Human. Pokémon. It was hard to describe someone like her concisely, but that’s just who she was. A mix-up. And today, she was going to change things for all the other mix-ups. Today, years of hard work would finally come to fruition. After hours and hours spent poring over books and articles and wiki pages and proceeding transcripts and histories and everything else imaginable, teaching herself the inner workings of this particular corner of law, Katherine had finally reached the day she’d been long preparing for.

Today, Katherine would testify before the city court to free the Pokémorphs from their perpetual house arrest. And, with any luck, today would be the day she was finally freed.

Unfortunately, David Ambrose woke up.

“Agh, fuck.” His head pounded as he rolled to the side, his eyes scrambling desperately into focus before resting on the alarm clock on his nightstand. 12:17. “Shit.”

Didn’t he have something today? The, uh… The thing. Fuck. What the fuck was it?

Dave flopped onto his back again and was just about to shut his eyes and fall back into the sweet embrace of sleep when he saw something taped to the ceiling. What the fuck? He squinted at it, rubbing his forehead as though it would actually do something for the pain.

It was an index card, and he could just make out the text. It read: “Court case. Katherine. 11:30, don’t forget.”

Ah, fuck. Well, he hadn’t forgotten, at least. He’d overslept, which was at the very least outside of his control… Though, if the taint of beer on his breath was to be trusted, it probably _was _in his control after all. But whatever. He’d probably have slept in until noon anyway. Right?

Groaning, he sat up and fumbled for the remote on his nightstand, nearly knocking over his alarm clock and table lamp in the process. When at last he found it, he switched on the television and turned it to channel one.

There she was, in all her morphic glory. Dave had never seen her so dressed up— she wore it wonderfully, though he found the buttons that ran along the back seam of the sleeves amusing. So that’s how she’d fit it on despite her hands…

A marquee rolled across the bottom of the screen. Dave wasn’t yet conscious enough to read it all, but he got the gist. Katherine was still making her case for the humanity of the Pokémorphs, and arguing that the Dangerous Nonhuman Act was unconstitutional— or, at least, it was unconstitutional in its application to the Pokémorphs. Dave had heard the argument a million times. He’d even helped write it. He could only hope she delivered it well, though he’d never resort to fucking praying, thank you very much. If anyone knew how important delivery was, it was him. It was definitely, fucking definitely him.

“—aware that the media paints us as half-human, half-Pokémon hybrids,” Katherine said, her voice cool but just shaky enough for it to be perceptible. Well, Dave sure as hell didn’t blame her. At least she was talking fucking sense. He’d seen way more severe television blunders on similar topics in his days, to say the least. But it didn’t take much to outperform fucking Brian, of all people. Dave didn’t realise he was shaking his head until he felt it pounding in protest.

“However, this is simply not the case. You will notice by the upright posture and intelligent behaviour of not only myself but my peers that we are much more human than anything else. As per the lab report, in fact, we are almost entirely human, with some Pokémonic genes spliced in. So, modified as we may be, Pokémorphs cannot be described as ‘nonhuman’ any more than, say, a black person, or a disabled person might be. There are simply different genes at play, but we look and behave and think the same way as anyone else. The line between human and non is blurred, to be sure, but i think that given my substantial evidence, even the most resistant will see that we are just like everyone else.”

Dave shook his head. Fuck. It was too early in the morning for this shit, and he had very important things to do today. He always did. Such as reflecting on what little he’d seen as he made his way to the kitchen.

Katherine was a fairly good public speaker, you had to give her that. But that was only true on some accounts. She presented herself confidently, true, and she vocalised without timidity. She was a proud and strong speaker. And yet, what on God’s green fucking Earth was she talking about? While he could agree that the Pokémorphs were primarily human, why he hell did she think to compare that to race and, fuck it all, disability? Well, whatever. It wasn’t Dave’s case. If he’d wanted it done better, he’d have just done it himself. This wasn’t about him. It was about the Pokémorphs, and it was also (purely by chance) about everything Dave had worked toward for the past ten yeaoh goddamn it who was he kidding.

Katherine couldn’t fuck this up. She just couldn’t. To her credit, she had a sound argument when she wasn’t botching her attempts at injecting political buzzwords. If the judge had any reason at all, he’d see her point and rule in her favor. But in truth, Dave had come to distrust the public sector a long time ago.

He’d come to distrust a lot of things, actually. Sometimes he wondered whether his drinking habits should be one of them. Even still, he produced a fresh beer from the refrigerator and cracked it open, taking a good sip. Christ, why the fuck was alcohol in the morning looked down on? There was nothing in the world like a cool splash of beer on a dry, scratchy morning throat. Absolute fucking ecstasy.

Dave took the can to his recliner and fell into it, leaning forward and taking healthy sips as he stared off into the distance, into his regrets, surrounded by a rather impressive castle of beer cans and the persistent drone of the courtcase on the television in front of him. His throne. It was another day in the life of the once-great David Ambrose.

If he had been watching the television, of course, he might have seen something very important. Game-changing, even. But, of course, it was absolutely nothing like Dave to see important things until it was entirely too late. Who did he have to blame but himself?

Literally everyone, obviously.

Sighing, he turned his gaze to the portraits that sat on his shelf. He wasn’t the sentimental type, but, well… He wasn’t the sentimental type. Having a bunch of your kids die tended to change some things about you.

He regarded the images somberly.

Will was such a sweet kid. He’s the last one you’d expect to get shot. But that also made him the likeliest. That’s what happened to sweet kids. It happened to Brian, too. When you’re in peril and you can’t stand up for yourself, you get a bullet in the fucking head. No golden charm was going to deflect that. Dave sniffed a little, and took a long drink of his beer.

Mia. Christ. What a character. And yet, Dave found himself thinking that her loss was perhaps one of the most profound ones the world would ever know. He knew he was wrong for allowing himself to choose favorites and value one life over another, but… Mia was something else. She was unstable. She was terrifying. She was a psychopath. But there was something beautiful about that. She was all of those things because she was supposed to be. They had always been here. They were not defects. They were woven into her DNA as solidly as the colour of her hair or the shape of her face. It was who she was. And now it was all gone.

Nothing personal, of course. Purely scientific. She was a marvel, biologically. Well, they all were, to be fair. But she was something else. Sometimes it seemed like she was more Scyther than anything. There was real scientific potential there. He should’ve tested her more. Should’ve prodded her. Picked her mind apart and figured out what she really was on the inside.

Well, there was nothing on the inside now, and there was no sense moping over it. Dave finished his beer, then crushed the can in his hand and threw it backward haphazardly. It fell amid a pile of similarly crushed cans, at least three dozen in number.

It was going to be a long-ass fucking day.

“Your honor, if i may.” Daniels’ voice was so damn smug that Katherine could hardly resist leaping over the bench and socking him in his face. There were two reasons she couldn’t do that, however. Firstly, the public already erred on the side of Pokémorphs being extra dangerous and violent, so her case would certainly not be helped by flagrant aggression. Secondly, her hands were roses, and she suspected they may not be very good for punching anyway.

“The plaintiff raises valid points, of course,” he continued snidely. Grr. “Points worth considering. However, it seems to me, with all due respect, like she’s gracefully failing to address the Mamoswine in the room, as it were.”

The judge raised an eyebrow. “That being?”

“Mia Kerrigan, your honor.”

The audience burst into quiet but energetic chatter.

Mia. Of course.

“Order!” the judge cried. “Continue, Mr. Daniels.”

Daniels happily obliged.“Mia Kerrigan was a proven psychopath. All witness accounts corroborate claims of her violence and dispassion. She attacked with little provocation, and herself provoked others, seemingly searching for reasons to fight or even creating them. Such behavior is consistent with the observed behavior of Scyther, and in human beings is antisocial to the point of justifying asylum. If the animal genes could have affected the mind of Mia Kerrigan in such a way as to make her unfit for human interaction, your honor, why should we assume her fellow Pokémorphs are any better off, when they are purportedly equally human? After all, we do know that several of the surviving Morphs were personally responsible for the tragic deaths of several men of the Church of Holy Truth.”

Katherine stood abruptly, heat rising to her face, heart leaping in her chest. How could he say something like that? “I object, your honor,” she said through clenched teeth with all the tact she could muster. “The kills made by the Pokémorphs are shown by the court of law to be in self-defence, and are not valid evidence against the humanity of our kind.” Even as she said it, she could feel Daniels’ smug grin. It doesn’t matter, he’d be thinking. The seeds of fear have been sown. “Mia Kerrigan was a psychopath, it’s true. There’s simply no denying it. However, her mental state is not indicative of any of the rest— there is no evidence to suggest that any of the other Pokémorphs are psychopathic in the least, and none of us have committed violent acts apart from the Church of Holy Truth incident, which as i stated previously was self-defensive. And, for what it’s worth, you don’t put psychopaths in asylums. They walk free just like everyone else, until they commit a crime. Which Mia didn’t.”

Daniels’ grin had faded. She was right, and he knew it. Or he knew she was technically right, at least. If he was anything like his cousins, Katherine knew he was fare more malicious than he was letting on. But you simply couldn’t in court. Katherine almost wished he would. Then everyone could see what a sham he was once and for all, and the support of the judge would be hers for certain.

No one else spoke, so Katherine continued. “Besides, that’s a matter of mental stability, which, while admittedly influenced by our Pokémorph genes, has nothing to do with our status as human. Your honor, i believe the truth is evident here. Despite our appearances and minor differences, we Pokémorphs are no less human than any other person in this courtroom. Our segregation is unjust and should be repealed immediately. I see no reason to believe otherwise, and none has been presented.”

And that was true. Daniels had sure said lots of things about Pokémorphs over the last few hours, most of them bad and some of them true. But none of them had anything to do with their status as human. And that’s what the case was about.

The judge’s softening impression implied that she agreed. “A fine point, Ms. Harrison.” Daniels tried rather poorly to keep his fear from spreading to his face as she spoke. “The court rules in favor of the Pokémorphs. They are hereby excluded from the provisions of the Dangerous Nonhuman Act, and otherwise protected against further discrimination by the full power of this land’s constitution.” She slammed her gavel with a resounding and unbelievable satisfying, crack. And it was all over. “Case dismissed.”

Katherine fell into her seat, lightheaded. And for the first time in a decade, free.

“Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck?” Dave sounded more angry than excited, as he often did. But in truth, his heart was leaping in exuberance. “She did it. She really fucking did it. Holy shit.” Still muttering to himself, he looked around for his daughter before remembering they no longer lived together. Fuck, how long had it been? Three years? And he still expected her to be around. Christ.

He grabbed for his phone and began punching in Jean’s number before anxiously holding it to his ear, leaning forward in his chair with anticipation.

“Hello? Dad?”

“Jean,” Dave said, more of an energetic breath than a true utterance. “You… You’re… Fuck.”

“So you heard?”

“Yes, of course i fucking heard. Wait, are we talking about the same thing? Did you watch the fucking—”

“Yes, of course i watched it. We all watched it.”

“So you know that—”

“Yes, Dad. I know. I’m in town right now, actually. God, i forgot how awesome it is here! And did you know you can pay for things with your phone now? You don’t even need credit cards! I mean, people are staring at me weird still, especially now that i’m yelling into a phone, and they probably don’t know that i’m allowed to be here yet so it’s all really weird, but still! Wow! It’s so great to be back out here, i can’t even hardly believe it! And i know i can’t really be Sarah Hooter anymore, and that sucks but i’m over it so whatever, but maybe i can be an actress in something else now? And i think Katherine should be a lawyer forever now, she was so super good. And Gabriel could toootally go into construction or mining or something, i mean he totally jives with rocks and stuff, and Jack… Well, i don’t know! But we can all have jobs now, that’s the point, and we can finally be with people, and even if they look at us weird that’s fine because we’re free, and—”

She continued for a good little while, but Dave stopped listening to the words. That wasn’t the important part. Instead he clung to her voice. The energy, the enthusiasm. It had been gone for years now. Ever since she’d evolved, there had been something off about her. This was it. The cheer. And here it was back.

His daughter was happy again.

Dave revelled in it as she spoke. And when she finally finished, drawing for air to replace all of it she’d just displaced while talking, Dave found himself at a loss for words. For once.

It was a good thing Jean couldn’t hear him cry through the phone.