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popculturebuffet · 6 months ago

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The Little Engine that COuld: A Cinematic Trilogy of Train Madness (Commission for Lachey V

Happy new year all you happy people!

This year was rough and i'll get into it more in my best of the year lists but for now let's talk about Trains again. Once again Lachey has asked me to cover trains. Unlike Thomas though this one did have a part in my childhood, it's the Little Engine That Could.

The Little Engine that Could, for those who didn't grow up with this one, is a story that had been passed around some time, evolving and even getting a book in the 20's that didn't stand well as a folk tale about a little engine who thinks she can , she thinks she can.. and she's right. The story got popularized by a 1950 version that's been the standard since by publisher Arnold Munk, who wrote a bunch of stories under the pseudonym Walty Piper, one of many. It's a book I cherished as a kid, an inspiring story of not giving up and trains and the cover always stuck out ot me

So when Lachey asked me to cover the various adaptations of it, I was all aboard. So today we're covering the 1963 short, the 1991 tv special and the 2011 Movie. So get aboard for film strips, murder mountains, and nightmare trains, this is The Little Engine that Could

The 1963 Short

Our first is also our shortest with each version ramping up in length and rediculouness. The initial short is just a 1:1 adaptation of the book, which was a nice refresher for me. The story is simple: An engine gets derailed while trying to deliver the birthday train, a train filled with sentient toys for the children

None of the other trains will help him either because their too old or because if they were an ice cream flavor they'd be pralines and dick, the latter being consistent across all three versions. Thankfully a little engine happens by and thinks she can and despite her size and struggles she perseveres. I'ts a good story about overcoming your limitations. I could pick apart this aseop.. but I won't. While perseverance can be a BAD thing sometimes, see our current political state, it's not a bad thing to teach childern especially onces who might have confidence issues. It's a solid short with a good message and nice narration. Not much to say on it but a good time nonetheless.

The 1991 VHS Special:

The 1991 version is Lachey's faviorite, even having a cell from it and i'm happy to say out of the three it's mine too. This special oozes with charm, having a nice soothing tone to it, bright vibrant animation and and starring voice acting legend Kathie Sourcie as the titular engine, named tilly, a child train whose constantly told no to actually getting to haul cargo by the dickish water tower what runs the train yard.

This one nicely expands things, introducing the other engines first so we meet the one whose old, now cartoonishly sputtering and the one whose an asshole who refuses to help because it's beneath them who looks a LOT like a certain other asshole

It's a nice bit of expansion and needed in a half hour specail without overdoing it. It simply gives the trains more fleshed out versions of thir persionalities; the train carrying the birthday train whose name i'd forgotten is kind, motherly and supportive to Tillie, the train whose too old is a milk train, and the train whose an asshole is a bully to tillie.

The entire world hates tillie in this one. That's not an exageration: the tower screams in a child's face no at her desires, and when she does finally sneak out to think she can, the entire world is determined to stop her. That's not hyperbole. A random eagle screechs at her ot turn back. The winds turn against her. A fucking mountain bellows at her TURN BACK TURN BACK. The entire world wants to make sure she can't.. and she proves them wrong. We even get a jaunty musical number that slaps

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Also Frank Welker can fucking belt.. I do not understand why they didn't have him sing for the Scooby Doo Musical. But Nothing Can Stop Me Now is a belter, an adorable song that gets the message acrossed amazingly, written by the same chaps what made the ducktales theme. It's a fucking triumphant song.

And naturally after all the trials it plays again when our heroine wins the day, delvering the birthday train to a kid. As you can see not only are the toys fleshed out a bit, but we actually get a story behind the train: it's a train that delivers a ton of toys and good times to someone on their birthday as before but we now get a kid waiting for it while his sister mocks him because older siblings be dicks sometimes. I have a teenagerdom of being called stalin to prove it.

The 1991 special is a great adaptation, taking the general outline of the book and beefing it up into a charming little specail. 30 minutes is just about the right runtime: enough to flesh out the story but not so much you have to add a lot of weird shit to make this a full movie. I mean there is the eagle telling a child train to go back, but it's the normal amount of nuts. For our next one though....

The DTV Full Length Movie (2011)

So in 2011 unviersal studios said "Quick we need a film to put out on dvd grandparents will buy for their kids not knowing better!' and thus the Little Engine that Could 2011 was spat into the world out of a stygian hole in the sky.

The Little Engine that Could has a BAFFLING array of talent behind it. The cast includes Phineas and Ferb's Alyson Stoner , Whoppi Goldberg, Patrick Warburton, Brenda Song, Jim Cummings, Charlie Schlatter and all around legend Jamie Lee Curtis. All fantastic actors who badly needed a paycheck.

LETC takes the bare bones of the main idea, an engine hauling a cart of toys, and makes it the story of Dream Haulers, trains who deliver dreams to children. A concept that could make a good show for younger children, have trains help solve their problems and such, but here is just a backdrop for a very by the numbers plot: A quirky determined underdog wants to live their dream but THE MAN won't let them, meanwhile a child is bullied and needs to learn a lessson or something so he ends up in a fantasy world but it's a BIIIIGGGGGGGG disaster for that world, so our plucky underdog takes him on a journey home with the help of a bunch of oddballs she picks up along the way. She looses faith after the villian tricks her but finds her courage again after a pep talk and everything's fine.

This film felt weirder watching it: you have big names doing this thing, a weird concept that's vaugely defined, usual so bad it's good stuff.. but the film is so bland. Looking back on it for this review it just.. exists. It was a slog to get through and the more I think about it the less it appears. The voice performances are good for the most part: Allyson Stoner, a veteran from Phineas and Ferb at this point, does a fantastic job, using a similar voice to isabella and giving the train a lot more character than the script, Whoopie Goldberg does her best as the stern yet well meaning control tower.. thing, Jamie Lee Curtis is a clown toy, one of may toys the engine fines because THE BOOK DID IT and has a lot of fun and Patrick Warburton is his usual fantastic self as the train's car/sidekick. He dosen't get to do much but that's more because the film is so paper thin. Every character is just... a bland description. The plucky hero, the snooty bully, the valley girl bully, the strict but well meaning boss, the worn out mentor who causes this whole mess and needs to be saved, the villian, the secondary mentor you find on the quest, the comic relief.

The exception to this.. is the most obnoxious character in the movie and sadly our Co-Lead, Richard. Richard is memorable.. because he won't shut the fuck up and won't stop complaning the entire film. He starts out being bullied, with the film giving the old cliche you should stand up to your bullies. That always ends well and surely dosen't still get you a cup of punch in the face. I'm not saying don't stand up, but the film treats it as a weakness of richards for not going back to get his grandpa's pocket watch they take. That he's cowardly. Him avoiding telling his grandpap is a bit but in fairness Richard probably dosen't want to have to bury the bodies. So he hops on a train which rusty, little engine's mentor played by Jim Cummings who tries his best, who taking a nap doesn't notice a child on the train which shatters the barrier between worlds and forces the little engine to take the long way. Just as a quick aside before I gripe about a fictional child... Rusty himself.. is a weak character. We're supposed to WANT him to get his job back, as little engine does.. but he's tired, falling asleep on the job and his negligience causes their tunnel to collapse. All the control tower does is demote him to moving shit around. She doesn't even fire him... if i'ts possible. It's sad.. but even Rusty admits this was his fault. Granted everyone ignoring his backup plan to go over the mountain as an ass saving lie is stupid, and they shoudl've at lest sent someone to scout to see if it was possible. But i'm giving too much credit to a film that is trying for the youngest audience possible as an excuse to fart out crap.. whcih it isn't. I mean i've reviewed 5 seasons of Thomas and Friends at this point: it may be bonkers due to things they didn't think through, but boy you can just feel the love and effort squeezed into every frame, the creativity, the pomp.

Here it's just a lifeless film that plops a troubled boy into it because ad executive law states if you make something with a girl protaganist kids won't love it.. which makes me giggle uncontrollably when I think the most popular younger ages show today not only has a female lead, but actually you know tries. But back in 2011 you had to staple a penis onto a project to get it made, and thus we have Richie who just whines the whole journey. now granted he is right to be a little sore, he's in another universe because he went in a train car to mope. No one would handle that well. But the way he just complains or whinges about the dreamland they pass through being "girly" and asks where all the superheroes are. Richard spends the whole film just not shutting up and only occasionaly lightneing up and is only really useful when there's either no other choice or it's the climax so he has to be. His character development is also weak as he just .. grows a spine because he went on a life threatning adventure?

It may also be because he threw pies at nightmarish simulcra of his bullies. Yeah this film suddenly takes a turn in the last act as for no decsrinble reason we get a proper antagonist. The bullies are just the setup and normally it'd just be the other trains and the tower doubting the engein..which really is enough. When she goes for their help they mocker her like assholes. The only notable one is Brenda Songs, who dosen't have a name, and even then she's just a typical airhead/brat character way bellow her va's paygrade and talents. Song hadn't done amphibia yet but she'd done enough suite life to show she had comedic chops that are never left out to thaw here.

Instead we get THE NIGHTMARE TRAIN, an evil train that tricks the engine into giving her it's cargo and plans to uh.. run around with it, do stuff. He delivers nightmares and.. is never brought up before this. He is intresting, the idea of this oppisite numbers, his plan to only deliver nightmares, he's a little creepy.. but like the rest they just don't do much. We just get the bully hullcinations because it's all production could afford and a chase scene once the little engine is encouraged by patrick warburton to go kick this man's ass.

So everything wraps up okay and this film... it.. sure did happen. That's about it. This film is bonkers but not enough to be so bad it's good, has a cast way too good for it. It exists and that's about all it does and it's questionable if it even does that well. Thankfully the perfect adaptation had only been made and as ravenous for IP hollywood is, this mess hasn't been attempted again. Maybe some day we'll get a tv show, a thomas and friends like affair. But for now i'm glad we got the terrible dtv half assed phase of adapting this joyous book out of our system. Remember i'm pulling for ya, we're all in this together.

#the little engine that could #alyson stoner #brenda song #whoppi goldberg #peter cullen #frank welker #jim cummings #animation #dtv #direct to video #2011 #Youtube

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