#the magic is the gay sex we had along the way

[dyke-pollinator]

Come sit in my lap babe I'll teach you how to untap, upkeep, draw.

[mariacallous]

Salman Rushdie has just published Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder. In August 2022, he was giving a talk at the Chautauqua Institution in New York. Hadi Matar, a 24-year-old from New Jersey, rushed the stage and stabbed him 15 times. It was astonishing that Salman survived. He lost the sight in one eye and sustained terrible injuries, but he’s still with us and he’s still writing, and unlike Hadi Matar, he’s still worth hearing.

We think of fanatics as stalkers with an obsessive knowledge of their targets.  Like the antisemites who compile lists of Jews in the media or the homophobes who so focus on the details of gay sex they might almost be closet cases

Most terrorists and bigots are not like that. They are like soldiers in an army who kill and hate for no other reason than tradition or men in authority have told them to kill and hate. If we were less fascinated by the pseudo-glamour of violence, we would see them for what they are: dullards and jerks.

In Knife Salman is almost as angered by the sheer lazy stupidity of his wannabee assassin as his violence.

“I do not want to use his name in this account. My Assailant, my would-be Assassin, the Asinine man who made Assumptions about me, and with whom I had a near-lethal Assignation … I have found myself thinking of him, perhaps forgivably, as an Ass.”

The ass “didn’t bother to inform himself about the man he decided to kill. By his own admission he read barely two pages of my writing and watched a couple of YouTube videos”.

That was enough, apparently, along with a little light indoctrination in the Levant.

We know from Matar’s mother that her son changed from a popular young man to a moody religious zealot after visiting her ex-husband in the Hezbollah-controlled town of Yaroun in Lebanon, a mile or so from the Israeli border.

“I was expecting him to come back motivated, to complete school, to get his degree and a job. But instead, he locked himself in the basement. He had changed a lot. He didn't say anything to me or his sisters for months.”

Salman quotes a wonderfully perceptive line from Jodi Picoult

“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

Rushdie is openly contemptuous, as he has every right to be.

“I see you now at twenty-four,” he writes, “already disappointed by life, disappointed in your mother, your sisters, your father, your lack of boxing talent, your lack of any talent at all; disappointed in the bleak future you saw stretching ahead of you, for which you refused to blame yourself.”

This has always been the way. Readers old enough to remember 1989 when the Ayatollah Khomeini ordered Salman’s execution for writing a blasphemous satire of Islam’s origin story in the Satanic Verses,will know that Khomeini had not read it. Nor had the furious demonstrators in the streets or the regressive leftists and Tory ministers who upbraided him for the non-crime of causing offence.

Those of us who had read the book pointed out that it was a magical realist fiction which contained sympathetic accounts of the racism Muslim immigrants in the UK suffered. Indeed, the Tories of the day loathed Salman, we continued, because of his confrontations with official racism.

But after a while we fell silent. Pleading with his enemies felt demeaning. It gave them undeserved credit, as if they were reasonable people, who could be swayed by evidence rather than just, well, pillocks.

In Knife Salman attempts an imaginary conversation with his persecutor.

OK, he says, Islam, unlike Judaism and Christianity, holds that man is not made in God’s image. God has no human qualities, it says.

But isn’t language a human quality? To have language, God would have to have a mouth, a tongue, vocal cords and a voice, just like a man. The terrorist’s understanding is that God cannot be like a man, however. So, God could not have spoken to Gabriel in Arabic. Gabriel must have translated his message when he came to the prophet.

The angel made it comprehensible to Muhammed by delivering it in human speech which is not the speech of God.

Thus, the version of Islamic instruction Matar received in his basement when he switched from playing video games to listening to Imams was an interpretation of a translation.

“I’m trying to suggest to you that, even according to your own tradition, there is uncertainty. Some of your own early philosophers have suggested this. They say everything can be interpreted, even the Book. It can be interpreted according to the times in which the interpreter lives. Literalism is a mistake.”

For a while, Rushdie says he wants to meet Matar again at the trial, as if he wants to have the argument in the flesh.

He tells a story about Samuel Beckett, which could only have happened to Samuel Beckett.

Beckett was walking through Paris in 1938 when he was confronted by a pimp named Prudent, who wanted money from him. Beckett pushed Prudent away, whereupon the pimp pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the chest, narrowly missing the left lung and the heart.

Beckett was taken to the nearest hospital, bleeding heavily. He only just survived.

You will never guess who paid for his treatment. James Joyce, of course, he did.

Anyway, Beckett went to the pimp’s trial. He met Prudent in the courtroom, and asked him why he had done it. This was the pimp’s reply: “Je ne sais pas, monsieur. Je m’excuse.” (I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry.)

But the more he thought about it, the less Rushdie had to say to his enemy. The idea that you can have theological arguments with a man who wants to kill you for writing a book he hasn’t even read felt ridiculous.

Although popular culture is full of stories about murderers, and true crime podcasts top the charts, killers and fanatics are nearly always less interesting than their victims. More often than not they are just thick. Nasty and vicious, but thick first of all.

We are about to see the stupidity of fanatics deployed on a mass scale. Two thirds of Republican voters (and nearly 3 in 10 Americans) continue to believe that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, and that Joe Biden was not lawfully elected. They think it because that is what Trump told them to think.

Islamists told Matar that Salman was an apostate, and that was all he needed to know. Trump told Republicans the election was stolen and ditto.

If Republicans were consistent people, they would not vote for Trump in 2024. What would be the point? They would have every reason to fear that the deep state would rig the 2024 presidential election as it rigged the 2020 presidential election.

But they will vote for him because, once again, that is what he tells them to do.

In the end there is a limit to how much attention you can pay the vicious and the stupid.

They are not interesting enough, as Rushdie concluded with marvellous disdain as he contemplated the life sentence Matar will face.

"Here we stand: the man who failed to kill an unarmed seventy-five-year-old writer, and the now 76-year-old writer. Somewhat to my surprise, I find I have very little to say to you. Our lives touched each other for an instant and then separated. Mine has improved since that day, while yours has deteriorated. You made a bad gamble and lost. I was the one with the luck… Perhaps, in the incarcerated decades that stretch out before you, you will learn introspection, and come to understand that you did something wrong. But you know what? I don’t care. This, I think, is what I have come to this courtroom to say to you. I don’t care about you, or the ideology that you claim to represent, and which you represent so poorly. I have my life, and my work, and there are people who love me. I care about those things.”

[animasola86]

Smutmas: Take your anger (and stick it where the sun don't shine!)

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x m!reader

Genre: Angst/Smut // Words: 3.9k // [Read on AO3]

Warnings: NSFW! MDNI! Explicit sexual content! Hate sex, oral, anal, mutual masturbation, double the amount of dicks!

Synopsis: You and Sebastian are both flawed boys and there is only one way to let out that pent-up frustration.

Notes: Beware: I am entering my explicit gay porn era! But hear me out: I, as the author, identify as female (and do not possess any male genitalia), and I believe most of my audience does too, but I wanted to try something new, so here we go. Don't worry, I did my research, yet I hope it was enough to convey what is going on.

Last warning: There's gay smut below! Read at your own risk!

Take your anger (and stick it where the sun don't shine)

“You insufferable little shit!” you could hear Sebastian's voice behind you. As you turned around, you saw him stomping right at you. You recognised his angry stance immediately.

“What did I do?” you asked innocently, putting your hands on your hips as you waited for him to reach you. You wondered how you angered the Slytherin this time (until the memory came back to you), though it didn't really matter either way, because when he stopped right in front of you, he glared at you out of dark eyes, working his jaw, and then grabbed your tie and pulled you unceremoniously after him. “Hey, easy!” you tried again as you stumbled along but to no avail.

Moments later, you found yourself being pushed into an empty classroom, heard the door being closed and enchanted, so no one would disturb you. You should have been more surprised, or even alarmed, but you knew the drill. This wasn't the first time Sebastian Sallow took his anger out on you.

Frankly, you were kind of hoping he would find you after you had convinced Madam Scribner that it had been Sebastian who was responsible for a bookshelf to collapse and burst into flames in the library the other day – when it had been you all along because you were still struggling to control that blasted ancient magic coursing through your veins, and sometimes things just happened, mostly destructive things.

And because it was easier to distract yourself rather than to deal with a problem head-on, a notion you certainly shared with the brunet pinning you to the wall right now, you often found yourself in his presence when you needed to take care of the steam threatening to burst free.

“You landed me a week in detention!” he growled and stared at you.

You raised your eyebrows. “Only a week? She threatened to expel me if I didn't tell --”

“So you admit that you blamed me? For something you did, presumably? You bastard!” Sebastian grunted and grabbed your shoulder to turn you around, pressing your chest against the wall. “You could have just asked to spend time together, you know?” he added in a lower voice as his hand slipped down the front of your breeches, his fingers expertly gliding over the stiff fabric.

He was right of course. You started doing those stunts to see him, meet him in detention, meet him anywhere really, because you couldn't think of anyone else who you could share your anger and frustration with than the boy behind you. You'd been to hell and back together these last years, and somehow when things got really bad, you always found yourself next to him, very, very close to him.

If anyone had ever told you that you would feel the most relaxed with another boy's dick up your arse, then you would have laughed and felt ashamed and frankly would not have believed them. But it was true. Anger sex was your go-to method of calming down again.

So you forced yourself to play along, counter his rage, defy it as best as you could with your cock already throbbing against the tight confines of your trousers. Even though your frustration had been running high these last days, causing the outburst in the library, you felt your own anger deflating the moment you felt Sebastian's hand palming your crotch roughly. Actually you always seemed to ease up the moment you saw his warm eyes on you or heard his voice in your ear.

Yet you'd never tell him how he made you feel, you wanted him to hate you, you wanted the unbridled wrath he could unleash upon you. So you kept pranking him, teasing him, angering him in any way or form. Because deep down you knew he needed it as well. He needed someone to handle the conflicting emotions running through him, chewing on his insides, destroying him slowly from within, ever since things went downhill in your fifth year.

Sebastian had lost everything that year and had found himself in a very dark place that only you had been brave enough to enter. Mainly because you were there too, for different reasons, but you still shared the rage coursing through your veins. The grief, the anger, the disappointment, the feeling of being all alone in the world, trying to shoulder things you were too young and inexperienced to handle.

It had been the end of the year, everyone had been exhilarated to celebrate the House Cup, to leave Hogwarts for the summer holidays, but you had found yourself huddled away, still in disbelief that you had lost your mentor and that everyone else seemed to have forgotten about it rather quickly. The battle of Hogwarts was no longer on the front pages, everyone had moved on. Yet you couldn't, because you still felt the energy pulsing through you of when you had absorbed Isidora's corrupted magic.

While you had tried to figure out what to do next now that the Keepers had abandoned you for defying them, you had met another lost soul in the dimly lit hallway. Sebastian had still been dealing with the loss and abandonment of his sister, the broken friendship with Ominis and the outrage that had killed his uncle, so when you two had met each other in the shadows while everyone else celebrated the end of the year, you had quickly found yourself in a dark corner, with no word spoken between you as he had rammed his cock into your underprepared arse.

The pain had numbed your anger, and quickly you had become addicted to the sensation. And now, two years later, you had made it a habit of completely driving him insane, bring out his rage, to feel it all over again. You both knew why you'd do it also and somehow he still played along, though you knew he was secretly impressed by your creativity of finding new ways to get him to hate you.

“Where's the fun in just asking you out?” you muttered back as he proceeded to grope you through your breeches. “You know I hate being boring...”

“Oh I know you do,” he grunted into your ear as he pressed his groin against your arse. “Can't do anything the normal way...”

“What's normal anyway?” you whispered as your hand moved around to grab at his thigh. “Definitely not this...”

“No, definitely not this,” he repeated and you could feel his hot breath on your neck as he leaned in to bite at your pulse. You couldn't help but wince when his teeth nibbed at your sensitive skin and frankly you were past hiding all those little twitches he was able to coax out of you.

“It wouldn't be the same,” you started, taking another sharp breath as you felt his fingers undoing your buttons before slipping into the newly created opening to tease at your dick. “I can't even imagine doing this normally with you. What would that look like? Would you buy me flowers and treat me to a nice meal? Out on a cosy date in Hogsmeade for everyone to see? Would you --”

“For Merlin's sake, shut up already!” he grunted, pushing you against the wall as he let go of you. You couldn't help the smirk from playing around the corner of your lips. He saw it when he suddenly spun you around by the shoulders once more, glaring at you out of those dark eyes that made you weak in the knees (not that you would have ever admitted to that). “You really like to hear yourself talk, eh?”

You scoffed and merely glared back at him. Shaking his head, he then grabbed your waist and forced your breeches down, your undergarments with it, and when you stood in front of him, literally butt naked, it was his turn to smirk at you. With his hand on your shoulder, he pushed you down until you were on your knees, looking up with your smug expression unfaltering.

“Look at you,” he muttered, tilting his head. “You pathetic little worm, kneeling in front of me with your trousers down like a bloody whore. Use that damn mouth of yours for better things, why don't you!”

Your hands were at the buttons of his breeches before he even stopped talking down at you. Undoing them with nimble fingers, you quickly freed his hardening erection from its confines and grabbed it roughly, causing him to stumble slightly. He shot you an even darker glance, but didn't say anything as he watched you do what you seemed to be doing best, at least in his eyes.

Leaning in with your eyes fixed on his freckled face, you gave his shaft a long skim of your tongue, taking in every single little reaction you caused in him. One hand moved up to cup his balls and give them a tight squeeze before you grabbed his length with the other and stroked it expertly as you focused the movement of your tongue to his tip, circling and lapping at it, sucking and nibbling on his sensitive skin until you heard the first little groan escaping him.

The sound vibrated through your entire body and you leaned back and watched him curiously, licking your lips as you did so. Your hand kept moving, firmly pushing his skin up and down, until you pressed your thumb to his slit and forced the first droplets of precum out of him. A shiver rushed through him and you saw him clenching his fists at his sides.

You leaned back in and closed your lips around the agitated crown of his cock, tasting and smelling that special musk you cherished so much, that would make your own body shudder in excitement. Of course you held back for now, focusing on him while your own dick stood tall and proud, bumping against your lower stomach with every bob of your head as you pushed yourself onto him and took him into your mouth as deep as possible.

As you felt him pressing against the back of your throat, you closed your eyes and held your breath, but you fought your gag reflex for now and pushed further until your nose was buried in his curly hairs. He grunted loudly as you forced his tip into your tight throat and when you leaned back again, you spluttered slightly and wiped a strand of saliva off your lips as you looked up at him.

He watched you darkly as you continued stroking him with a firm grasp, before you dove back in and repeated the same motion over and over again, each time holding him longer and deeper in your throat until you felt your eyes watering and his body shuddering more and more.

“Fuck!” he spat and grabbed your shoulders in support, his fingers digging into your shirt as he jerked his hips against your face.

You relished in his noises and involuntarily reactions as you kept bobbing your head on him, moving with the slight bucking of his hips, feeling him hardening to the point more and more precum leaked out of his tip. You lapped at it hungrily, the wet slurping noises filling the empty classroom.

Suddenly he gripped your hair and pulled you off him, red spots dancing on his cheeks as he stared down at you. “Get up and turn around,” he told you gruffly and you got to your feet and did what he told you, your trousers still pooling around your ankles as he positioned himself behind you.

He pushed his hard erection between your cheeks and leaned around you, grabbing your previously unattended dick with a fierce grip as he started stroking you, his chin resting on your shoulder, his shallow breaths right in your ear. You couldn't help the shivers running down your spine at the sensations and the little moan escaping your slightly aching throat. Closing your eyes, you leaned into his touch, even pushed your rear against him invitingly.

Not that Sebastian Sallow needed a formal invitation to do anything, he always took what he wanted, and right now, it was to drive his cock into your arse. With one hand on your dick, giving you those needed pumps, his other hand moved around your left butt cheek, groping and kneading it until he teased his thumb against the tight ring of muscles. You inhaled sharply when he pushed past the resistance and forced his digit in deeper.

You felt your legs trembling when he poked around until he pressed firmly against your prostate, coaxing a deep grunt out of you that made you stumble against his touch. You almost came right in his hand there, but then he pulled his thumb out and even let go of your dick, before grabbing your hips and guiding you back towards his cock.

Swallowing hard, you realized you were never really prepared for his intrusion and even though he had gotten better at making it less painful over the last years, it would still always take your breath away when he would fill your arse. This time he pushed his tip firmly against your tight hole and you inhaled deeply, trying to relax, before he used a sharp snap of his hips to push his length all the way into you until you felt his balls slapping against your sensitive skin.

A groan escaped you and you had to put your hands on the wall in front of you in support as he dug his fingers into your hips and just rested there for a moment, buried deep in your bum, giving you the chance to adjust to his size. He had gotten softer for sure, you thought, the Sebastian from two years ago wouldn't have given a damn about how much pain he would inflict on you, he might even have opted to make you suffer more than was necessary.

But this version of the boy behind you seemed to listen for your noises, wait for the shudders of your body to subside, before he finally started moving. Slowly retreating, until his tip was gripped by your tight entrance, then pushing back in with a quick jerk of his hips, back and forth, over and over again until you heard yourself moaning louder.

His hands were on your waist as the slapping of skin against skin filled your ears and all you could feel was the relentless rhythm of his cock sliding in and out of your arse and his pelvis slamming against your cheeks. You were groaning and moaning in unison now, a low rumble of noises mixing with the sounds of your bodies pushing together.

You felt light-headed quickly, but even in your haze, you felt the need to lower a hand and grab onto your own dick to release a little bit of that tension. Yet at the same time he had slowed his movements and leaned around to grab it too, your hands touching involuntarily. Despite the rather rough nature of your 'love making', it still sent pleasant shivers down your spine when his fingers would brush against yours, be it in class or the library when you reached for the same book, or in the middle of having him rail you into the wall, it always felt exhilarating.

Instead of withdrawing or slapping your hand away, he slipped his fingers between yours and guided them towards your cock so you started to stroke your throbbing member together. More moans escaped your throat and you couldn't help but lean your head against his shoulder as you felt your balls tightening under the combined ministrations of your hands.

He buried himself deep in your clenching arse and started grinding his hips slowly, pushing his girth against your sensitive muscles and all the right spots. You grunted deeply, biting your lip as all the sensations at once caused your dick to twitch in your combined hold. He seemed to notice your struggle to move on your own, so he kept stroking you fiercely, his own grunts loud in your ear, and when you came with a low growl, he wrapped his arm around your stomach and held you close, keeping you steady as you felt thick ropes of cum spurting out of your tip and dripping down both of your hands.

He let you rest for a small moment, holding you tightly as you leaned against him, his breath hot on your cheek as he turned his head towards you. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, panting badly, and when your eyes met, there seemed to be another one of those unspoken agreements you both had perfected over the last years.

You saw him smirk and then he let go of you and pushed you back against the wall, his hands on your hips, before he continued to move inside you once more, slow at first, but then faster and faster, as he drove himself deeper and deeper into your tight space with reckless abandon. Your noises of quiet whimpers and deep moans mixed with his grunts and the never-ending slapping of skin against skin when he fell into a rapid rhythm of slamming his hips against your cheeks.

There was the power you had needed, the raw emotion, the unbridled rage, as he rammed his cock into you at an impressively fast and deep rhythm, his length and girth stretching and prodding your muscles with each powerful thrust. You fought against the sensation, forcing your legs to stop trembling beneath you, your entire body tense from the experience.

But this was what you had wanted, all of it, and you craved the pain that came when your muscles started contracting around him, working against you instead of with you. You could have relaxed and let him have it, it would have been so easy, but you were too stubborn and frankly quite the masochist, because you needed every aching muscle, every screaming nerve, every burning sensation.

It was the only thing that kept you from losing your mind. And so you gritted your teeth and strained your arms against the wall as he kept rocking your body back and forth, over and over again, his grunts mixing with yours, as his fingers dug painfully into your hips, his balls slapping against you as his cock moved in and out relentlessly, the delicious heat of the friction driving you almost insane with pleasure.

You felt your dick harden all over again, but you couldn't give it any attention at this moment because it was Sebastian's turn to let go. With a loud growl, he gave you one final powerful thrust that rippled through your entire body as he buried himself as deep as possible before you felt his cock throbbing and twitching as he emptied himself inside your tight arse, his hot seed filling you up completely.

He kept grunting as more and more shudders rushed through him, more and more cum spurting out of him and into you, and as you savoured the warm feeling spreading inside you, you lowered a shaking hand and gave your own dick a few much needed squeezes before you came as well again, your body spasming against his as you leaned your sweaty forehead against the wall, unable to stop your legs from shaking beneath you this time.

Inhaling deeply, you tried to catch your breath, while the boy behind you leaned his entire weight on your back, his arms snaking around your stomach as he held onto you, his cock still twitching inside you. You let him have this rather tender moment and closed your eyes, but as soon as you relaxed against him and even raised a hand to put on his arm, a gesture that was usually too intimate for your liking, he retreated again, standing up straight and slowly pulling out of your clenching hole.

You let out another moan and a surprised grunt when he suddenly slapped your butt cheek with his flat hand, the pain rippling through you deliciously. It didn't however mask the emptiness you felt with his cock no longer lodged inside your bum, and without his girth, your muscles worked hard to move back into their original form, causing his seed to pump out of you relentlessly.

You rather enjoyed the warm sensation of being so full, but gravity and whatever other forces worked ruthlessly against you, leaving you to desire this whole spectacle all over again. Sighing deeply, you eventually leaned down to grab your trousers and undergarments, ready to pull them back up, but before you could do anything, you were suddenly spun around, almost stumbling against Sebastian as he pushed your bare backside against the wall, his eyes boring into yours.

Despite the intense gaze, you couldn't help but break eye contact and look down his front. His spent cock was still out, glistening in your combined juices, yet your eyes lingered on his wand in his hand. For a moment you wondered what he wanted to do, and when he grabbed your throat with his free hand you were really concerned for a second, but he only held you in place while he moved his wand over your soiled skin and cleaned your mutual messes.

You watched him intently, despite the tight grip of his fingers this might have been the gentlest gesture you witnessed him express towards you ever. He usually left you a shuddering, defiled mess (and you were there for it), but having him wash you so thoroughly, was certainly something else. When he was done, he pocketed his wand and let go of your throat, only to bend down and grab your breeches before he pulled them back up and helped you get dressed again.

You were more than confused, yet somehow oddly intrigued by this turn of events. As he grabbed your dick and shoved it back behind the confines of your trousers, you raised your hands and did the same to him. He seemed equally surprised and your eyes met for a long, heated moment. Despite sharing the most intimate desires of both of your bodies, you had never indulged in the more romantic kinds of affection, like kissing or hand holding or even hugging, in that order.

Both of you had resorted to the most extreme type of being together and never looked back, but standing before Sebastian now, staring into his dark eyes, you felt the need to take several steps back and redefine your relationship. Might also be the post-nut clarity, you weren't sure. Whatever it was, the moment quickly faded when he took a literal step back from you and tilted his head, looking you over grimly.

“Next time you need to do this, just send me an owl or something,” he told you gruffly and moved a hand through his messy hair. “I really can't have you ruin my reputation any further.”

“What reputation?” you replied with a low chuckle and a smirk. “I'm only adding to the already existing one... You did that to yourself.”

He groaned and gave you a glare, before he turned around and headed to the door. “I mean it...” he called back over his shoulder.

“I know,” you said and watched him leave. “Expect my owl then.”

Sooner than later, you wanted to add, but you didn't want to come across as too desperate. Though he probably already knew that and frankly you couldn't care less. You needed him as much as he needed you. Not just his cock up your bum, the entire package. And perhaps there was even one of those chaste kisses for you in the future, who knew.

End notes: I've always been a yaoi lover and it still took me more than seven months of being in this fandom to actually write something like this, oh well.

I was certainly channeling the snarky boy that is the male mc when writing this, I can just hear his voice taunting Seb.

Again I took inspiration from this Smutmas prompts list, so here we have Day 4: Anal and Hate Sex. As you can see I'm not doing those in order or even consistently, I just write them as they come (out of my brain).

Thank you for reading!

By the way, I have three other oneshots that are not exclusively female oriented, but gender neutral:

The Ghost under the Table (a bj in the library)

Just Breathe (an angsty love confession)

Just another adventure, right? (angsty first kiss)

MASTERLIST - KINKTOBER - AO3

[justanotherhh]

hold up wdym fizz is word of god demi? did a cast/crew member confirm it?👀

hey hello howdy!

before i get into anything i need to disclaim, for my own health, so bear with me:

first of all, i want to stress that word-of-god is fundamentally meaningless in the sense of actual canon (being a teenager under the reign of that book series about a magic school written by a bigot + the whole 2010s fondness of declaring characters to be gay maybe if you keep watching *wink wink* only to turn around and call queer fans deranged for caring too much... ive got no time for that nonsense)

on the other hand, i think there's also something to say for a show that's about 99.999% canonically queer characters and that sometimes narrative is showing not telling... that is to say... even if there hadn't been any kind of word of god, especially in a verse in which relationship structures are built along fundamentally non-heteronormative dominant lines, one gets to analyse different forms of queerness with far more deliberation than one might in a Very Straight Show In Which We Are Aware That This Was Not Intentional

on the... third? hand. specifically aspec identities, still very underrepresented, still very disputed, still very hard-done by, even when the visuals really do lean into a show-don't-tell obviousness (see: all that marketing for alastor being very aromantic and supported by his narrative in the canon, and it's still not "enough," often simply because many people haven't even heard of ace, never mind aro... i digress, but i think, for relevant reasons), so fizzie being read as demi by people who know

what the heck demi even means

have the ability to engage with an aspec-analysis lens

is probably still the vast vast minority!

all this to say. it's not canon, in the way that, say, his being gay is canon, or blitzø being pan is... more canon (in the sense that the word "pan" may not occur to everyone, but it's more obvious within the queer community and those without may at least land on "bi" and be in the correct ballpark) and moxxie being bisexual is 100% indesputably-stated-out-loud canon

in order for it to be canon, it would have to imo:

either be stated out loud in canon (and even then, we get the word "ace" on hazbin and it's StiLl DiSPuTeD okok im calm...)

fizz would have to have a narrative or speech or some kind of important Beat explicitly dedicated to the fact that he Does Not Feel Sexual Attraction unless he's in love (which... honestly... if that were in connection with some kinda beat in blitzø's narrative about feeling like he's unworthy of love... im just sayin.... + it would lean very neatly into exploring fizzmodeus' being an in-universe very non-normative relationship)

in this case, i do think it's a neat little easter egg, without being pandering or *pat pat on the head,* that is supported by the text, and so yeah. fun. if they backtracked on that and in some way decided fizzarolli has had tons of casual sex that he's enjoyed/pursued... i mean, honestly without the word of god, i'd think that was kinda out of character, which leads me back to "yeah, fun easter egg, only canon insofar as it's not disputed by canon!"

disclaimer over:

this tweet stating the creator said these words, liked by the creator, this was my original reblog of it (although I do note the original poster seems to have taken it down since then)

[juminies]

hi! omg thank u for giving the translations! i also thought it might be a lost in translation thing but ur right it’s just as vague in korean??? and i think so too, considering how’s he usually so blunt and straightforward the way he was skirting around the subject is a bit ???

though i just had a thought… i remember reading that in the original version, the jumin gay “jokes” are about him being a wizard - referencing a meme about virgin men who turn 30 suddenly gaining magical powers? idk if it’s legit because i don’t know korean but i saw it mentioned a few different times by a few different people… if it was true and we take the option that he hasn’t had any prior relationship experience as the truth this might be a possible explanation for his vagueness: i was thinking that since mc has the option to play along with these “jokes” & jumin’s feeling these new unfamiliar feelings for her… he dances around the subject because, although he usually doesn’t care about such things, the constant roasting has probably affected him subconsciously and he sees his inexperience as a bad thing. he might think that telling mc the truth might give her a bad impression of him but he also doesn’t want to outright lie to her so being vague is the safest option

also ur right, considering how hurt he was with the whole sarah debacle, it makes sense that chairman han probably hasn’t done something similar to him before. i never thought about it that way!!

the uni experience thing… if he ever did date, he’d probably have done it during this time but i feel like it’s unlikely due to the points in the previous ask. the sleeping with someone i can’t see happening at all for a few reasons: he’s always going on about the no living together before marriage thing, even with mc who he loves he wants to wait, he mentions he’s conservative, and him hating his father’s womanizing ways leads me to think he would steer clear from anything casual. also, with all the women who have been making inappropriate advances towards him throughout his life and him having nightmares about it… i can potentially see him not feeling comfortable enough to want to experience physical intimacy unless it was with someone he trusted and felt safe with, especially for his first time… and he mentions rika being the first woman in his life he felt comfortable around…

honestly with how often it’s mentioned that jumin not’s interested in women or relationships and jumin himself straight up saying he hates women, i personally don’t think he’s let himself get close enough to a woman to have any romantic or sexual experience at all, like i deadass don’t think he’s even held hands in a romantic sense

i think ur “come meet my friend and his daughter” theory seems to be the most plausible! it’s the least contradictory with the other information we’ve been given. it’d work around the jumin not being interested in women or relationships … by having chairman han getting jumin to come along as a kind of casual get together and then making himself and his friend scarce, leaving jumin alone with the daughter. it’d also explain the bit about him saying that he doesn’t even know if he can even say he saw them.

anyway that is a lot of writing over like 2 sentences said by jumin lmao but it’s fun to theorize

also i am HERE for the chairman han post, that man needs a good slandering!!!

to clarify, I have always thought that he's a virgin prior to meeting MC! I agree he does not at all come across as the casual type for a plethora of reasons, most of which you mentioned already. it seems that he puts quite a lot of weight on wanting sex with MC to be right, too, whatever that means to him. I think most theories for why he would not be a virgin are kind of absurd hahah. I have seen people imply that he was sleeping with women to get them to sign contracts which.. no comment. he was just being handsome and charming.

I mainly mentioned university as a possible (albeit unlikely) scenario because it's the one time in his life we know practically nothing about, and Jumin being abroad for his studies dually makes it the perfect time to make bad and/or out of character choices. curiosity is a very big part of Jumin's personality and so while I don't personally think it happened I do think if he was hypothetically to have slept with someone at any point it would have been as a one-time, rather literal experiment at nineteen or twenty. written results afterwards and everything. it would also give him psychic damage.

I do also agree he probably sees his lack of inexperience as a bad thing, honestly, which is sad because it's definitely not :( he seems a little self-conscious generally when it comes to MC, hyperaware of himself and how she might perceive him. he says himself it's unlike him to care about what other people think, and I think it's actually very cute that he gets a bit frazzled by it all. I love him so much.

[remythologise]

please rank your gay ships based on how bad thekr first time havifn sex would be thank you

a short selection of SOME gay ships from western live action on a RELATIVE score ranking because we don’t have time or space for all the rest: charles/erik: charles is literally a telepath. their first time having sex is 15/10 even if both of them cry and erik gives himself an injury it doesn’t take away from how out of this world the sex is

hannibal/will: 13/10 for the 13 people that died right before it happened. I am so sorry to tell you this but they are BOTH so into it and there is so much blood.

alexander/hephaistion: over two millennia of people saying alexander was cuntstruck by hephaistion’s thighs so I guess that first messy 12/10 handjob was astronomically good for alexander.

tos kirk/spock: kirk is very kind and gentle with spock here even though spock’s losing his goddamn mind about it. kirk, in fairness, ALSO loses his goddamn mind about it a bit. not for nothing are they based on the above two historical figures. 11/10 lewd handholding

xena/gabrielle: including women on this list as a comparison point. it’s so 10/10 good and they are so normal and communicative about their needs, wants and feelings

post-15.18 destiel: might be sort of normal actually. a bit awkward at first, but given cas is an angel and blows out some lights along with dean’s back I’ll give it a solid 9/10 that can only get better from here.

flint/silver: 8/10 sadly they’re both so in love with each other and work so well together it overrides all of the gaslight gatekeep girlboss manipulations and mindgames that have or will go on, even if they’ll never admit that!

steve/tony: picking one universe and saying ultimates, ults steve is homophobically trembling the whole time and ults tony is bitter and jaded and laughs derisively at the situation after steve comes. 3/10 objectively but a 9/10 experience for steve (previously had not had gay sex) and a 7/10 experience for tony (he’s a masochist)

holmes/watson: holmes is too in his head about it and watson doesn’t know if he likes gay sex yet. 6/10 love that dare not speak its name is still very sexy for all involved

house/wilson: they know way too much about anatomy for this to be bad, BUT never underestimate the power of them derailing the experience by arguing with each other and bringing up death before anyone even gets off. 5/10

kim/harry: oh this is ABSOLUTELY what you’d expect (harry full on losing it not even halfway in and sobbing violently) but it is saved by the fact harry can near-read kim’s mind even if he doesn’t know what kim’s mind means half the time. 4/10, +0.5 modifier (kim really trusts you)

nandor/guillermo: also 4/10, neither of them communicates about their kinks. guil makes a secret action plan of how the next time can be better, except nandor then immediately goes off and hooks up with some other love of his life

merlin/arthur: 5/10 sloppy blowjob by merlin that gets a downgrade to 3/10 because somehow in sucking arthur off he also managed to doom magic, all other gay people and the entire working class

geralt/jaskier: 2/10 geralt is thinking about yennefer’s breasts the whole time. sorry he can’t help it blame the djinn probably

aos kirk/spock (or any pre-movies version of tos): somehow kirk spends the whole time convincing himself it’s just a casual thing for a literal vulcan. spock spends the whole time trying not to kill kirk and then thinks he’s gravely injured him AND disgusted him with the scale of his aggressive desire. 1/10 they both get off but it’s physically painful and both are miserable about it

endverse destiel: dean is SOOOO angry and revolted with both himself and castiel. absolute 0/10 that never happens again.

dishonourable mentions for the hell of it:

aziraphale/crowley: whatever neil gaiman said about them never having sex because they’re beyond that or whatever. -10/10 they don’t qualify

[sitp-recs]

hiii i just breezed through that slutty drarry reclist wheww you’re doing god’s work what a wonderful list!!!! i see you’re getting a lot of asks lately so feel free to answer this (or not!!) whenever you feel like it, but i was wondering if you knew of any fics where harry gives up his slutty lifestyle for draco, sort of like “harry potter gives a shit” by talithan. i would prefer if it was harry but the vice versa is also fine! we’re so lucky to have you in this fandom and i feel grateful every time i see your posts on my dash, thank you so much for everything!!! <3

Hello my friend! Love that for us, I’ve had lots of fun putting that slutty reclist together and am always happy to find taste twins when it comes to smut 😏 personally I’ve been more into open relationships lately but you might enjoy these fics where either Harry or Draco have casual sex before getting together:

Harry:

Amber by @slytherco (E, 4.7k)

Despite his numerous flings, Harry's thoughts keep circling back to Draco, only half-aware of his perpetual draw where they're not strangers, not-quite friends, but definitely something. When they both get played by the same person, Harry and Draco find a way to get back at him, and maybe get something extra out of it as a result.

100 Beats per Minute by @oknowkiss (E, 14k)

When Draco left the Magical World behind at nineteen, he didn't expect the cusp of thirty would find him comfortable and secure, with a stable life and a successful career as a sex columnist.

Five Weddings and a Potions Accident by lauren3210 (E, 19k)

In which Harry thinks he’s a playboy, everyone else knows better, and Hermione will kill Seamus if Ron tries to collect on that bet.

Famous by @fw00shy (E, 24k)

It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants. Anything but models.

Terrible People by wolfpants (E, 53k)

What happens when Harry and Draco end up on the same Muggle gay cruise? They certainly didn't plan for it to happen (but their friends might have). They're stuck with each other for a week, they might as well make the most of it, right? Featuring a holiday-long game of Truth or Dare, a very ill-judged FWB proposition, decades-long pining, lots of gin, and a small pair of green swimming trunks.

A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (E, 234k)

Fleeing the aftermath of his recent divorce, Draco Malfoy takes up a post as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts. At first he believes his hopes for a fresh start are dashed when he sees that a certain boyhood rival is on staff there as well. But Harry Potter is being weirdly nice to him, leaving Draco no choice but to play along.

Draco:

Hourglass Heart by @bixgirl1 (E, 5k)

It only happened once — depending on how Harry counted.

Death Dreams by @writcraft (E, 9.5k)

Draco likes to keep things casual, or at least he did before Harry Potter barged back into his life.

Keep your hands on me by @tenthousandyearsx (E, 21k)

Malfoy binds himself with a sex curse. Harry cannot get enough (but would much prefer to keep Malfoy for himself).

The Things We Need by @Kbrick (E, 25k) - established Drarry, polyamory

Three hundred and fifty-three days out of the year, Harry is in a monogamous, fufilling relationship with Draco Malfoy. Then there are the other twelve days.

I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor by birdsofshore (E, 28k)

Harry felt lit up from inside as soon as he entered the bar. There were blokes dancing together, their bodies close to one another, not keeping a wary distance as Harry was always careful to do when he was near another man. God, he wanted this – wanted it so much he could taste it, a metallic tang of heat and desire. He suspected nothing would ever be the same again – especially when he saw who else was in the room.

[themangledsans0508]

Witches vs Humans

Read on Ao3

Summary:

Amity has always been top of her class, not by a lack of effort. Constantly doing extra credit. Then her health class gave her the opportunity to hit three birds with one stone.

Get extra credit

Learn more about human biology

Hang out with her crush

Words: 1609, Oneshot

Warnings: None

Characters: Amity Blight, Luz Noceda

Ships: Lumity

Additional Tags: Human Biology, Witch Biology, girls doing extra credit, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, talk about biological sex, accurate to the best of my knowledge, Pre-Relationship

"At least you guys have a better health class than we do back home," Luz commented. 

"They don't teach you guys basic anatomy?" Amity asked with a raised eyebrow. Luz shook her head.

"They barely teach us about the reproductive system and gross stuff like that." She flipped to another page of her textbook. "Most of it is wrong anyways. Like, I only read fanfiction and I know it's wrong. The rest of our bodies haven't really been mentioned since fourth grade. And even then all it was about was how many bones are in our body and what our stomach, heart, and lungs do. We never really talked about any other organs or what our muscles do or anything. Here everything is so detailed." 

"So you don't know how your body works?" 

"No, I do know. Kind of, at least. Not everything but enough to know that the school is wrong." Amity looked at the papers she had set beside her.

"Well, for extra credit you can do a report on a being with a different anatomy than you. And if it's okay with you I'd like to do you. Not because I'm curious or anything just because it would be really unique," she said quickly.

"Only if I can do you," Luz bargained.

"Deal." Amity ran her finger under the words and read them out loud quietly to herself. "Species name, sex, external appearance, limbs, type of vertebrae, organs, manner of movement, diet, hot or cold-blooded, differences from my species, other notes, and space for a drawing."

"That's a lot of work for some extra credit," Luz observed.

"Eh, it's actually not much compared to what I had to do for history class one time," Amity replied. "Do you have a paper? I might have a spare."

"I have one actually. I was going to bribe King to let me do him." She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a paper identical to Amity's.

"Oh, if you want to do it on him it's okay-"

"No! No, it's okay. I'm pretty curious about witches too. So, where do you want to start? Do you want to draw me? I'll do a pose!" Amity shook her head rapidly, her cheeks a furious shade of red at the idea.

"No, no, no, no. I can do that later it's fine. I guess I'll just ask you some things. Like how are your eyes different than mine?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can see those glyphs. When you showed me that video of Eda casting a light spell, I didn't see anything. I can only see them when you draw them."

"As far as I know my eyes are exactly like yours. Maybe it's because I'm human and that's the only way I can do magic. Maybe the Boiling Isles can just sense that. But then how could I see it on my phone… I don't know actually. I'll go with no but don't quote me on that."

"It looks like most of our features are the same, at least on the outside. Besides our ears and hands," Amity stated.

"Wait, our hands? What's different? Give me your hand." Luz quickly grabbed Amity's hand and pulled it up to her face to look at it closely.

"M-my fingers are longer, along with my nails. It's true for all witches. It's for magic because we use our hands for it and our fingers are really the way we cast spells." Luz released her and scribbled something down. Amity held her hand to her chest and tried to keep herself composed.

"What about your ears? Why are they pointed?" Luz reached out to touch them before jerking her hand back when Amity jumped. "Sorry, I should've asked first.'

"It's fine," Amity decided after a few seconds.

"Fine that I didn't ask or fine that I touch?"

"Both." Luz carefully held the pointed tip of Amity's ear in between her fingers. Besides being pointed, it was exactly like hers, maybe a little softer. "I don't know why it's like that. Kind of a little weird I guess, but it could be so that it's possible to tell the difference between witches and humans. Or maybe it's because we're more sensitive to noise." Luz wrote a couple more things down.

"Can they move?" Amity nodded.

"Yeah, but I don't decide when. Some witches can make their ears move whenever they want, but for the rest of us, our ears only move to indicate our emotions or when we hear something. Can human ears move?"

"Yes and no." Luz made a triangle with her hands. "A few people can. Like, ten or twenty percent of humans. I can't. Also, they don't move like yours do. They just kind of wiggle a tiny bit. It's still pretty cool though, but your ears are cooler." Amity's cheeks turned slightly pink.

"Well, human ears are neat I guess," she mumbled.

"Oh, oh! Above your ears! Your hair! Before I forget I wanna ask you about witch hair! Can witch hair come in any colour? I've seen witches with human hair colours, but then I've seen witches with green hair, blue hair, pink hair, purple hair, I don't know if it's natural but if it is-"

"It's natural," Amity interrupted. "At least, for most witches it is. As far as I know, it can come in any colour." Luz pointed at her hair.

"Is your hair naturally brown, or green, or both, or was it brown and now it's green?" Amity ran her fingers through her hair self-consciously.

"It's brown. I dye it green because the rest of my family has green hair." She straightened her back. "Doesn't human hair come in any colour?"

"No. Human hair is naturally blonde, brown, black, red, or orangish. People dye their hair for fun. I've dyed mine before, I might still have an old picture I could show you sometime, but after my hair grew out and I cut it I decided I wanted to stick with brown for a bit."

"Is human hair the same as witch hair?"

"Probably. Wanna find out?" Amity reached her hand out, then pulled it back, then reached out again. "You can touch my hair, it's fine." Amity put her hand on the side of Luz's head. She kept it there for a few moments then took it back. She started scribbling something down and Luz shifted positions, folding her legs underneath herself and clasping her hands in her lap. "Could I touch your hair?"

"Huh? Oh, sure." She batted her hair lightly and giggled.

"I feel like a cat."

"You might be one."

"My sweatshirt agrees." She held her hand in place and ran her thumb over the surface of her hair. "Our hair is the same."

"As far as I can tell. Maybe you could use some of the things you learned in alchemy to make sure."

"I could, or I could check if the library has anything on witch versus human biology."

"That would kind of make everything we're doing now redundant." 

"More information doesn't make previous information redundant," Luz argued. "Okay, that's outward appearances done. This is going to be the hard part. Do you have different organs than me besides the magic thing on your heart?" Amity looked at her for a few moments.

"I don't... exactly know what you have for organs?"

"Oh, right. Well, I can sketch something quickly. Here." She flipped over the paper and drew an outline of a person. "Our heart is here, sans magic sac. Then we have our stomach here, then our lungs up here…" she drew each small part of the body with Amity overlooking and sketching down some rough copies in her notes.

"If that is what your organs are like, then yeah I think so. Except we also have another set of veins. Not technically an organ but that's beside the point."

"Really? For what?" Luz asked.

"For magic, duh," she laughed. She looked at her paper one more time and paused. "I'm sorry for having to ask this, but what's your sex?"

"Biologically female. I guess I have to ask yours too?"

"Same." 

"Okay, obviously bipedal, mammal, wait are witches mammals?"

"Yes, and warm-blooded," Amity explained. 

"What's your diet? Like, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, something else?" 

"I don't really have a choice, I'm an omnivore. What about you?"

"I'm also an omnivore, although I have tried some other diets in the past."

"I think that's everything, I just need to draw a model. Hang on, do you know how to cast a layer spell?" Amity questioned. Luz shook her head. 

Amity drew a few overlapping circles that were different shades. She quickly cast a spell and two of the circles flew above the paper slightly, one going a little higher than the other. Luz leaned forward and looked in between the circles. She turned her head to change angles a few times before smiling widely and drawing out one of her circles. She drew three lines above one another and then a diagonal line over those. She pressed it and the ink on the paper layered itself as Amity's had. She gave Amity a quick hug.

"New spell! What gave you the idea?" She asked, keeping her hands on Amity's shoulders.

"Well, to draw the model you need a layer spell to do the organs, then bone structure, then a normal drawing," Amity explained.

"This opens up a whole new world for art. I gotta go home, I'll see you tomorrow, Amity!" Luz haphazardly gathered her papers and hurried away, leaving Amity alone with a warm feeling in her heart.

[waitmyturtles]

Wanted to quickly post on two ongoing shows that I am loving! She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat (Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna, or TsukuTabe) and Two Office Workers Who Are Too Poisonous For One’s Eyes (Me No Doku Sugiru Shokuba No Futari or MenoDoku):

1) FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, TsukuTabe is out and it is FABULOUS! GAHHHHH, a GL WITH GORGEOUS SHOTS OF DELICIOUS FOOOOOOD, I NEED MOOORE OF THIS:

AAAHHHH, MINCED PORK STEW, NEED A RECIPE ASAP, AAAAHHHHH!!!

But, no, seriously, the story is wonderful, which I’ve covered before, but really quickly: Nomoto is a single woman who has a small appetite, but a desire to cook HUGE portions of food. Her neighbor, Kasuga, loves to eat a lot -- so they might be a perfect match for each other.

I’ve written about the following before in the context of NHK’s 2018 dorama, Life as a Girl, in that I really love when NHK — Japan’s biggest broadcaster — tackles edgier content, such as transgender rights (in the case of LAAG) and now here, in a GL in TsukuTabe. The mangaka behind TsukuTabe, Yuzaki Sakaomi, is publicly and prominently supporting the legalization of same-sex marriage in Japan, and NHK certainly can’t be turning a blind eye to that.

But, as well, this show is loaded with commentary about gender equity and equality. It pisses Nomoto off, for instance, that her male colleagues equate her love for cooking with an assumption that she’ll be a great mother and wife. It pisses her off so much that she cooks way too much food to blow off steam — and invites Kasuga over to eat up. At the same time, Kasuga experiences discrimination by way of being served too little food at a restaurant, so she’s ready for Nomoto’s big dinner.

All of this is to say that there’s a LOT going on in each utterly darling 15-minute episode (gotta say, NHK, it is criminal that these episodes aren’t longer, but I know we have a way to go with GL in Japan), and I cannot wait to see where this goes. I really highly recommend reading the manga before diving in — it’s a fast and fabulous read!

2) I wrote about MenoDoku previously, and I’m just here to say that if you want to watch multiple office fujoshis be COMPLETELY over the top in their obsession of two guys in their office (all while the two fujoshis telepathically communicate to each other), PLEASE WATCH THIS SHOW. I am breathless, it’s total insanity. 

Basically, the show is about Oto and Shizuku, two gals who work in the same office, who discover that they both fantasize about Chief Hongou and his subordinate, Daichi, being in a relationship. The shipping is NON-STOP. Episode 13 shows the two lads having fallen asleep in the office, which is like earthquake-level for the two girls:

And later in the episode, the ladies realize that Chief Hongou had intentionally asked Daichi to drive with him to a training to help him through a rough patch in the office:

Legit, all they do is communicate telepathically and flip the F out -- it is HILARIOUS.

Each episode is only five minutes, but I hope this show goes on forever, because the shipping is perfect. I might have perhaps smelled a potential small attraction between Oto (ponytail) and Chief Hongou in another episode, but I can’t do that to Daichi, so I’ll leave it alone for now. 

Anyway, I am totally stanning these shows (kind of nice to have a touch of a breather after the Cherry Magic volcano of emosh last month), and I start Utsukushii Kare tonight, along with finishing Wakako Zake/season 5, which I will write a WHOLE THING ABOUT, because I love shows where people eat alone. And my khao man gai post will come soon, too, yay!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Good evening Sex Witch,

I have a question re: forming a healthy relationship with one’s own sex drive.

I’ve had a complicated relationship with sex. I’m male, in my 30’s and gay. I’ve only had a few encounters, and while I don’t regret any of them, I also feel a lot of cringe re: my own performance and have similar fears about future encounters.

For some context, I’m a big guy (fat and tall) and I don’t have much physical dexterity or stamina. I also have body image issues (because ofc) and some lingering anxieties that come from a background of purity culture/ aids and std scare tactics (conservative small town childhood). I guess I feel like I need to “git gud” before I try reinstalling grinder, but I know a lot of of that’s just the internalized body/fitness shame talking, along with a little remaining prudery. You can’t git gud without practice after all.

Don’t worry, I’m not asking for magic bullets. I’m working on other issues I’ve got, and I do have a therapist. But if you have any thoughts about what a first step towards finding a better relationship with sex is re: performance anxiety and feeling safe… well, I’d love to hear them.

Thanks for reading!

hi anon,

listen: looking back and feeling cringey about your past self is totally normal. it's totally fine as long as you aren't being unkind to your past self for doing the best they could at the time; instead, take that feeling of discomfort as a sign that you want to do better by yourself in the future by having sex you feel more confident about!

so, how do we do that? of course there's no one thing that works for everyone, but let's talk about some places to start.

if you're worried about your physical prowess during sex, I'd recommend looking up sex tips for folks who are elderly, disabled, or otherwise have mobility problems. now, you or someone else reading this might be saying "but Makenzie, I'm not elderly or disabled! the idea of accessing those resources makes me feel uncomfortable and defensive for reasons I suspect you're about to make me unpack!"

look: ideally, you are going to be old one day. and the odds that you will reach old age and still be exactly as spry and mobile as you are in your younger years are VERY low, but you (like many other elderly people!) may still want to have sex. so first off, think of this as a chance to take a look at the answers before the test. secondly, the tips are there, and if they work for you then they work for you. why wouldn't you want to make sex more comfortable, enjoyable, and low-stress as possible? whether it's trying out new positions that are easier on your body, using strategically-placed pillows to make things easier on an aching body, or using toys to help extend the experience when your flesh and blood body taps out, there are sexual accessibility aides for almost everyone.

being nervous about AIDS and other STIs is very normal, but also a very addressable fear! keep your condoms at the ready (external or internal, take your pick), know about STI testing near you (remember: two weeks after a new partner is ideal if you have concerns), and have an honest conversation with every partner about your respective STI statuses. if necessary, look into PrEP and PEP options near you - PrEP for if you're planning to have sex with someone who is or might be HIV-positive, PEP within 72 hours if you find out a partner was positive after the fact.

and remember: sexually transmitted infections are not the end of the world. they have no moral bearing and do not say anything about you as a person, and nearly all (with some exceptions) can be completely cured with the proper medication - so make sure you're aware of what's normal when your body is healthy and heading to a doctor as soon as possible if anything changes!

you want to git gud? the best way to do that is developing a firm sense of what's right for you during sex so that you can come to potential partners prepared with an informed conversation about your health and ready instructions for the ways you like to have sex. you know what's hot? people who know what the fuck they want. I don't even mean that in a dommy way (although, sure, if that's your cup of tea!) but rather people who have put the time and effort into figuring out what they like and want to try and readily communicate that with partners so they can share in that pleasure instead of having to guess.

spend some time thinking about what that looks like for you, and what you might want to try out with other people. you don't need to be perfectly smooth about it; a willingness to mess up and laugh it off is actually vital.

tl;dr: don't go into sex acting like you need to apologize for being you, babe. show up ready to show your partners exactly what you like, and open the space for them to do the same in return. that's the space where magic happens.

[lavenderfeminist]

Hello. I have a question and I don’t know if you’ve talked about this before because I’m fairly new to your blog. I also haven’t heard other people talk about it either, but until pretty recently I wouldn’t really use social media so it’s possible people have talked about it and I just don’t know. I’m also curious as to what you have to say. Anyway I don’t know why I’m giving such a long introduction lmao it’s a simple question.

So, you know how gender isn’t real (in an innate biological way) and I’ve recently become quite critical of what it means to be trans if gender is not this innate thing. But something that I can’t wrap my head around is how when people transition, they discover that their sexuality is different. Like there will be lesbians who were like 100% certain of their homosexuality and then they transition and find that they are attracted to men. Sometimes they’ll even quit being attracted to women entirely. And they’ll say stuff like “testosterone makes you gay”. Before, I wouldn’t think too much of it, I would think about that episode in The L Word where Max is transitioning and realizing he likes men when he was a butch lesbian before and he says something along the lines of “it’s not about wether you’re attracted to men or women specifically, it’s about same-sex attraction” sort of stating that since he’s a man now he likes men because he’s same-sex attracted. But now that I’m thinking about how the concept of having a gender identity doesn’t make sense, there’s just male and female, and being same-sex attracted is liking one or the other forever, I’m confused. Does this mean that people like Max were bisexual after all? Does this mean that how you identify with your gender has some sort of impact on your attractions? What does that mean for people who wish for the abolition of gender? How does that explain former lesbians who now aren’t even attracted to women? I doubt they were straight all along. I have never been attracted to men (nor have I ever had the desire to transition), but if I went on T, would I magically start liking men? This is so confusing!!!

Anyway I said it was a simple question and then followed with a whole bunch lmao but thanks for reading anyway✨. No pressure to answer by the way, just curious on what you think.

I wrote my entire response to this and then tumblr deleted it 😭 Here we go again.

The first thing I want to point out is that male homosexuality and female homosexuality are two separate entities. Yes, I relate to and connect with gay men on a social level over our shared experience of homosexuality, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re homosexual through the same biological mechanisms. For example, there’s no female counterpart to the fraternal birth order effect. A man’s statistical likelihood of being homosexual increases with his number of older brothers, but there’s currently no recognized phenomenon where a woman’s likelihood of being homosexual is linked in any way to her number of older siblings or their sex. That’s because the hormone they believe is responsible for the fraternal birth order effect influences the development of attraction to males; in a woman, that’s not going to make her a lesbian. I personally believe there are unrecognized phenomena related to the development of lesbianism specifically, which obviously would not have the same effect in males. Of course, there are also some mechanisms that affect both sexes, such as the genes that might be responsible for high instances of both female and male homosexuals in certain families. I don’t think I’m homosexual only as a matter of genes, and that’s not concerning to me. There are no other instances of homosexuality in my family that I know of, so it makes sense to me that I developed this way through mechanisms beyond the genetic material I received from my parents. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t born this way.

Why am I saying all this? Well, because I think Max from The L Word is full of shit. First of all, Max is a character: a representation of a human being, not a human being who actually exists in the world. What that means is that Max was created by living breathing human beings, who have their own beliefs and biases towards homosexuality that are inevitably reflected in her character (hint hint). Second of all, cross-sex hormones…don’t change your sex. A female on testosterone is still female. So even if we believe there are some mechanisms which result in same-sex attraction (rather than male attraction or female attraction), they’re not going to change their presentation in one person, because humans can’t change sex. Max is materially bisexual; she was seemingly attracted to just women for a long time, and now seemingly just men. We’ve all heard of the “bi-cycle” before, where a bisexual person can experience attraction to just one sex for a stretch of time, and then just the other for a stretch of time. This is not uncommon among bisexuals, and that’s in cases where they’re not taking a cross-sex hormone that has the known effect of *drum roll* increasing your sex drive.

Once, when going for a walk with my (to my knowledge at that time, lesbian) ex girlfriend, she lightheartedly confessed to me that she “only fantasize[d] about men when [she was] really, really horny.” If you imagine that I was taken aback, you’d be correct. That is the farthest thing from my experience. Being turned on doesn’t make me more receptive to thoughts of men, it makes me more disgusted by any thought of them. I’m never more hot and bothered for women (and repulsed by men) than when I’m ovulating (which happens to be when women’s testosterone levels increase). It’s not a far-fetched idea to me that if you’re a bisexual woman with a much more significant attraction to women, testosterone is going make you pay more attention to your less-apparent attraction to men. And without getting controversial, if you’re the kind of person to dismiss your attraction to men and call yourself a lesbian, it’s utterly unsurprising to me that once you’re paying more attention to men you’re going to jump right over to calling yourself a gay man. That’s far more believable to me than that testosterone can literally turn a lesbian straight.

Conclusion? No, gender identity doesn’t influence sexuality. No, the abolition of gender does not mean the abolition of homosexuality. Yes, I consider people like Max bisexual. No, testosterone doesn’t turn lesbians straight; bisexuals exist, and they’re very comfortable claiming labels that don’t fit them even before adding in a regressive belief in gender identity.

[cokehead-zeroed]

3, 4, 11, 24

love ya! <3

3. Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them?

I have about 10,000 upcoming WIPs and somehow none of them are even close to being done??? But I'd say the closest are: Bords/Briss little & daddy kink fic and Taylor/Tyler slowburn fic. But I also have a Turcs/Trevor/Jamie college hockey AU, a Sid/Patrice magical realism AU, a longfic Brad/Patrice 90s Boston high school hockey angsty AU, a supernatural creature Mitch/Dylan AU, and a "oops we caused a curse and now we share a telepathy link" Trevor/Jamie magical realism AU in the works. Honestly there are others this is just what I'm working on atm. I did this to myself. I'm not proud of it.

4. Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it?

I wouldn't consider it fully abandoned? I'm hoping to revive it? But I have a sequel to my Trevor winner's room AU which is a babyducks plot, which I had to abandon because I just had so much writer's block. Just couldn't get it done.

11: Which OC of yours do you think is the most similar to you? Which OC is the most different? Why?

Obviously it's Mr. Snugglebug the Bear. /j. But in all honesty I have no idea, because I don't really write too many OCs? I tend to use hockey players for most of them.

24: Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why?

Does it make me an asshole if I say all of them? I'd say a three-way tie between:

the tide is high (but i'm holding on) – a Turcs/Jamie/Trevor getting together beach house vacation AU.

5 times Tyler and Taylor had wicked bad sex (and 1 time they got it together) – Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin attempt to figure out how to have gay sex, with mixed results. catching feelings ensues.

we can't accept (what we do not get to choose) – Trevor Zegras/Dallas Stars winner's room AU, with enemies-to-friends Trevor & Jamie. foreshadowing for future babyducks.

[returntosaturn271995]

November 17th-18th: Euro-vision (Part 1)

How does one capture the magic of a week-long, sleepless, fun-filled Euro-trip with romance, friendship, and a couple of twists and turns along the way?

I can't. Not really. I can just say I'm happy and feel small in the best way. So with that in mind: here's a high-level recap.

Friday the 17th:

1). Smoked the wrong weed the night before and had a mini panic attack about the trip. Calmed myself down by drinking copious amounts of water.

2). 9-hour plane ride to London from San Diego with a stop in Seattle. I slept as much as humanely possible and didn't read or watch movies. The time difference basically made the flight my entire day and when I opened my eyes it was Saturday morning in Heathrow.

Saturday:

1). When I landed in the airport I put on makeup and my "walking through London in a rom-com" outfit: Leather trench coat, black sweater with key-hole neck design, dark wash jeans, black boots.

2). Took the tube to Paddington Square and met up with Martyn, flirty kiss and then we dropped off our bags at the hotel he booked: The London Lodge.

3). Walking tour of London punctuated by coffee and hot chocolate I didn't have to tip for. Big Ben, the London Eye, the River Thames, Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London, and a million beautiful streets. Split the G and had a baby Guiness.

4). We got back to the hotel as it grew dark and had sex that was 10/10, I lost a press-on nail so that became 9/10.

5). Grabbed a Cheeky Nandos and Martyn ate legitimately an entire chicken. He described me in the third person as a girl who likes the finer things in life. I reminded him "I am one of the finer things in life."

6). Pub crawl in Soho with an amazing live singer, we were shoulder to shoulder with everyone in the bar. I got hit on by a 6'10 trust fund kid right in front of Martyn who offered me a spot at The Queen's Club. Yes, that Queens Club. Martyn took this gamely.

7). We bounced to a gay nightclub called Heaven. Now it was Martyn's turn to get his ass pinched. All the music was about 5 years too old from America and I forgot to not tip on the drinks. Balloons fell from the ceiling at midnight and we had a dramatic superhero kiss in front of the industrial strength fan near coat check. Redbull Vodka's still in hand.

8). Took the tube, a double-decker bus, and a black cab so all transportation was covered.

9). I fell asleep on his shoulder riding the Tube. We got to the hotel (Our concierge had no idea what she was doing) from the gay club and did some decidedly straight things. Fell asleep talking.

[captains-simp]

hey! so i love wanda and i was wondering if you could write one kind of enemies to lovers or something like that where reader and wanda don't get along well, jealous scene or maybe a very suggestive fight. very angst but happy fluffy ending please

Enemies to lovers owns my whole gay heart and I CANNOT write it without there being sexual tension so xksksjsks smut alert

@g-cordelia hope it's okay to combine your request with this too so there's a healthy dose of angst and fluff with it

"Please don't go."

"Don't you fucking lie to me."

Warnings: choking, fingering, spanking, strap on sex, mentions of oral and hints at mild injury

6k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Your actions jeopardised the whole mission." Steve said sternly before raising his voice when he saw he received no reaction from you or the redhead. "Whatever is going on between you has to stop!"

"You say that like it's ever been any different." Natasha added.

The pair that usually felt like the protective big brother and sister of the team where acing the role of disappointed parents. Admittedly that did make you feel bad, but Wanda showed no signs of giving an apology and you would be damned if you did first.

Natasha and Steve waited for any kind of response from either of you and got nothing. You and Wanda continued to glare at each other from opposite sides of the table, your stubnorness stopping either of you from looking at the two standing at the head of the table.

"Just write up your reports." Steve sighed, giving into the tension of the room before anyone else. If it had been just you, Wanda and Natasha there was no telling how long you'd be in there.

You both got up from the table at the same time, still refusing to break eye contact.

"Y/n stay behind a minute." Oh so they're switching it up to disappointed teachers now. Your attention fell to Steve in a look of confusion although that didn't mean you missed the smirk that played on the corner of Wanda's lips. You cursed her like a sailor in your head and hoped she heard but her back was to you and she was strolling out the room.

"I thought you guys were getting better." Steve sighed as he leant against the table.

"We were when we didn't have to talk to each other." You said honestly. There had been a few weeks prior where you and Wanda had had no missions together and therefore had no reason to talk or train with one another.

"You can't resort to avoiding each other as a way to solve your problems. All that does is make things escalate even more when you're actually together which will inevitably happen. Because believe it or not you two are on the same side and have to act like it." Natasha said sternly. You stared down at the table and thought about how how her words were. But it wasn't like you had that warning before.

When the pair infront of you knew you weren't going to say anything in response Steve filled the silence once again. "You're both suspended from missions until you can learn to work together." He decided.

"What?!" You cried as you snapped your head towards them and stood up. "You can't be serious."

"Deadly." Natasha said. You looked frantically between the two in disbelief.

"Alright." You said finally and clenched your jaw. You turned around and left the room without objection from the two Avengers, heading straight towards Wanda's room.

You never really knew why you and Wanda never got on. Maybe it was because she reminded you so much of the popular girls in high school you always envied while wanting them in your bed...no, it definetly couldn't be that. You just didn't know what.

It didn't take long to get there when you were walking like you were out for blood, that wouldn't be an unexpected result of what you planned. You banged on her door several times in a closed fist so it didn't take her long to answer.

She looked concerned when she opened the door and as soon as she realised it was you that same smirk from the meeting room fell back into place.

"Did they ground you?" She asked as she leant against the doorframe.

"Suspended." You spat. A shit eating grin started to appear but you wiped that off her face instantly. "Both of us."

"What the fuck? I didn't-"

"Yes you fucking did and now I'm paying for it too. You wanna know the best part? We can't go back in the field until we can work together nicely." You said bitterly.

"Why don't they just keep us on separate missions?"

"You can go ask them that later. Right now we're training." You said simply and you grabbed her forearm and pulled her out of her room down the corridor.

"We just got back." Wanda argued but followed you anyway after slapping your hand off her.

"Not prepared to put the work in, witchy?" You mocked, not looking at her as you marched through the compound.

"Don't call me that?" Wanda warned as she kept your pace.

"What are you gonna do? Read my mind?" You continued to taunt as you arrived in the gym and made your way to the mats.

Wanda put her red jacket on the floor and stepped away to take up her position as she eyed you. "I could snap all your bones into pieces so small they could be mistaken for ash." Wanda said stoicly.

"I don't think that's gonna get you another mission." You replied calmly, knowing that while there was a truth to Wanda's words she would never give you more than a split lip or bloody nose in the worst training sessions.

"Don't be a smartass y/n, it doesn't suit you." Your jaw clenched at her words.

Without warning, the entirety of your right arm lit up in flames and was aimed at Wanda in an instant.

You sent a wave of fire her way that she swiftly engulfed in her powers and sent back towards you. She looked less than impressed from your warningless attack.

"That was tacky." She said.

"I know, seemed fitting for you." You grinned but stopped when the red mist surrounded your body and lifted you into the air before a larger wave of fire was sent hurtling down to the redhead. The wall of fire blocked her view of you and subsequently dropped you to the ground as she dealt with the flames.

As soon as you landed and the fire parted you sent another blast Wanda's way only for her to do the exact same thing. You both ducked at the same time, your powers hitting opposite walls and leaving marks Tony would be on your asses about when he found out.

Wanda was clearly thinking the same thing. "We can't use our powers in an enclosed space, especially not yours." She said, her accent thickly woven into her voice.

"Okay then, let's see if Natasha's lessons have paid off." You said as you raised your fists and got into your defensive stance. Wanda mirrored you the way she had been taught and narrowed her eyes.

"They definelty have." She insisted as her eyes flickered over your form to try and identify your weak points already in a very obvious way.

"Just try to keep up." You mocked and swiftly moved to swipe her legs out from under her but she was surprisingly prepared. She jumped up to avoid your attack and kicked her leg out mid air and landed it on the center of your chest. You stumbled back in shock while Wanda looked very proud of herself. The last time you saw Wanda train it was clear she wasn't familiar with close range hand to hand combat. You hadn't expected her to improve so significantly in such a short amount of time.

You gritted your teeth and went for her stomach this time which she easily avoided but wasn't expecting another attack to follow so quickly. She blocked the continuous blows from you until you saw your moments and kicked one of her legs out from under her. Your mistake was thinking you succeeded the moment she was down because she spun around and kicked both of your legs out. You caught yourself partly as Wanda stood up so you were on kneeling.

Wanda's smirk was quick to take place when she saw your position, not missing the opportunity. "You look good when you're on your knees." She quipped.

Your eyes widened at her boldness and a heat rose up your neck that you knew wasn't your powers. You rolled back on the balls of your feet and swiftly stood up to look anywhere but the smug redhead infront of you.

"No snarky remark for that?" She challenged and you charged at her again. Anger feuled your attacks making them miscordinated and all round bad.

"Shut the fuck up, Maximoff." You huffed and made her grin even more at the clear signs that she was getting to you.

One of your punches was pushed to the side and Wanda took the chance to show you just how much she had learnt from Nat. You weren't entirely sure how she even did it it was so quick. Your arm was outstretched behind your back painfully due to Wanda's unrelenting grip on it and made it that much easier to push one of your legs down onto the floor. She held you like that for longer than necessary, soaking up the view of you struggling in her grasp.

"Get off." You snapped and winced when she pulled your arm back more.

"What's the magic word?" She teased.

"Now." You demanded. She tutted and pulled harder. "Maximoff!" You ordered through the pain. She leaned down beside you as her voice dropped to a low whisper.

"Beg." It was one word but you couldn't deny the effect it had on you. It was as though her light breath on your ear shot throughout your body and settled in a place you really didn't want it to.

You were about to object and tell her to stop being a bitch but her grip tightened and she pulled to a point where you thought your arm might just snap off under any more pressure.

"Please." You cried through gritted teeth. She instantly let go all too quickly and you collapsed onto the mat on your front. You heard her chuckle menacingly but cut herself off when Nat appeared in the doorway.

"We told you to write up your reports, not train." Natasha scolded as she watched you massage your shoulder and glare at Wanda.

"Sorry, just got a bit carried away." Wanda smiled, her innocent and sweet act that she put up for everyone except you returning. "Y/n's had enough now anyway." She smirked to herself.

"Fucking psycho." You muttered loud enough for her to hear but not Nat. Her jaw visibly clenched from that making you revel in the small victory as you finally got up from the mat.

"Just get on with the reports." Nat sighed and turned to leave as Wanda called out.

"On it."

"Aww, you trying to be a good girl, Maximoff?" You mocked as the pain subsided and your need to overrule what had happened came through.

"I don't have the time to stress over that, not when I'm busy putting brats in their place." Wanda said as she advanced towards you with a look you had only ever seen aimed at those you were fighting against.

"What?" You whispered as you backed up and felt your back hit the wall. Wanda's hand came up suddenly and wrapped itself around your throat firmly and cut off your breathing. Your eyes widened as you grabbed at her hands but she didn't budge. She looked amused at your efforts as her head tilted slightly to the side.

"And you certainly need to learn your place." She took her hand away and left you gasping for air for a split second before grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the gym.

You stumbled a little as you tried to keep up with Wanda's long strides you could usually match. Your whole body was already trembling in anticipation, more so by the tension filled silence between you both as you travelled through the compound and ended up outside the redhead's room.

She opened her door and shoved you into her room swiftly. You didn't have much chance to take in your surroundings because the Sokovian gripped the back of your neck and forced you to lay on your stomach on her bed.

She made quick work of your clothes, discarding them to some soon forgotten about corner.

You turned your head to the side and gripped the sheets as you felt Wanda's slim fingers trialing up the back of your thighs before she gripped them roughly and forced them apart and lifted your lower half up. Her fingers returned and glided along your drippikg folds, collecting your arousal as she reveled in the effect she had on you.

"What was it that made you this wet, slut? Was it being on your knees for me? Begging me? Or did you enjoy the pain? I bet you enjoyed me choking you too." She chuckled darkly and didn't wait for you to respond.

She slipped two fingers inside your soaking cunt without warning making you gasp out in pleasure. Her fingers curled inside you beautifully, brushing some kind of nerve ending every second they were buried inside you. She had you a moaning, quivering mess in no time.

"Wanda...fuck! Right there, oh God!" She snickered against your skin as she worked her fingers expertly. Even then she wanted to test you. Well it was more that she was setting you up for failure.

"Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear another sound from that whiny mouth." She ordered and you couldn't help but shiver from her dominant nature.

Of course it didn't last long. Her fingers felt so damn perfect inside you and you couldn't help but moan at the unspeakable pleasure.

She brought her hand down fast and landed it on your ass with a harsh smack that echoed through the room. She did it to both of your asscheeks until they were bright red and you were trembling. The sadistic redhead didn't stop there, she continued to rain down smacks that edged you further to your edge with the pleasurable pain.

Soon, you were moaning into the air as you came around Wanda's slim fingers, desperatly clenching around them in an attempt to prolong the pleasure. Thankfully, she kept pumping her fingers inside you, not caring when the overstimulation kicked in. She even started scissoring her fingers inside you, stretching your walls in a way that has you whimper loudly.

"Gotta stretch you a little to get you ready for my piece, sweetheart." She said in a sinister tone. "There's no way you'd be able to take it otherwise, it's already going to reck you with its size." She husked into your ear and withdrew her fingers, spanking you again when you whined.

Wanda got off the bed and disappeared into her closet, shortly returning with a large strap secured around her waist and pointed at you. You whimpered at the sight of it, not sure you could handle its size.

The Sokovian kneeled behind you and gripped your hips with both her hands as she lined up the strap with your entrance.

"I'm going to fill you up so nicely, Princess. Gonna have your cumming in no time." She husked, her voice dripping with lust.

A scream was ripped from your throat when Wanda thrust the entirety of the strap into your pussy. She set about her harsh, abusing pace instantly and preened at the sound of the pleasure filled cries that left you.

She grabbed a fistful of your hair and slammed your head down into the pillows on your side do she could still hear all of your desperate moans. The rough action earned the redhead a cry of her name.

Her pace was unrelenting, everytime she thrust back into you she somehow managed to hit deeper, pounding the toy against the most sensitive and pleasurable part of your cunt.

"Mommy!" You moaned loudly, not realising your slip up until the words left your lips. Your eyes widened and you feared Wanda's response, but what you got was a smack from the redhead that stung your ass in the best way. Her fucked you with increasing vigor too, wanting you title to spill from your lips again. And it did. Over and over, each time going straight to Wanda's pussy.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." You whimpered as you gripped onto the sheets tighter to prepare yourself for your release. But Wanda pulled the strap out the the very tip and held it there as she leant over to whisper in your ear.

"Beg me." She ordered and you whimpered again. It wasn't like you hadn't already submitted to the red head you hated but begging would be something that would loom over you for a while.

Your thoughts clashed with the overwhelming need from your pussy as it desleratly tried to clamp down on the tip that didn't provide nearly enough pleasure.

"Please, Wanda." You whispered.

"Please who?" She asked sweetly, clearly testing you making you groan.

"Please, mommy just let me cum." You whined and Wanda smacked your ass hard. She edged the dildo in further ever so slowly and stopped again.

"Mommy, please! I need to cum." You tried again, desperation seeping into your voice. Wanda hummed.

"I can see that." She mused as she rubbed small circles on your throbbing and soaked clit. "I just don't see why I should, brat." She punctuated the name with a harsh slap to your ass again and you caught onto what she was hinting at.

"Please, I'll...I'll be so good for you, mommy."

"Yeah, baby?"

"Yes! Please mommy I'll be so so good for you. Just please please let me c-" You were abruptly cut off by your own whorish moan as Wanda snapped her hips forwards and filled you up entirely.

One of her hands tangled itself in your hair and forced your head down into the pillows, not stopping your incoherent babbles filling the room along with the sound of your pussy being fucked by Wanda and her thighs slapping against yours.

The Sokovian tugged on your hair again so your head was off the pillow.

"I'm gonna cum!" You cried out into the air.

"That's it, baby. Soak my fucking cock." And with that demand you came harder than you ever had around Wanda's strap and moaned continuously as the redhead prolonged your pleasure by continuing to pound into you.

But it soon became too much for your sensitive pussy. You squirmed away from Wanda but she placed one hand on the middle of your back to keep you flat against the bed.

"Too much." You managed to say, however the redhead didn't seem to care.

"I'm nowhere near done with you, Princess."

*

Laying panting and gripping onto Wanda's bedsheets like a lifeline wasn't exactly what you expected to be doing on a Thursday night. You were drenched in sweat and although Wanda had pulled out the toy minutes prior, you were sure you could still feel it filling you up, the faint throbbing a forewarning of what was to come.

It took you a while to gather the strength to get up. With anyone else you probably would have just stayed the night in their bed, but you weren't sure you could do that with Wanda. Although she wouldn't kick you out, you didn't like the thought of sleeping beside the redhead. It seemed far too...soft? Whatever it was, you were sure Wanda would agree.

You searched for your clothes while she took a most likely deliberately long shower, images of her naked figure covered in water invading your mind.

Once you cursed them away they were just replaced with flashes of what you had been doing for all those hours, remembering how she pulled on your hair as she praised you when you went down on her. Of course you did that while on your knees.

What happened between you and Wanda wasn't a one time thing. In fact it became increasingly common until you were in each other's beds almost every night. You would have been fuck buddies if you had considered each other a friend.

It worked. You and Wanda were able to work out your pent up frustration towards each other in a way that didn't hurt one another....well, if that didn't include the scratches along Wanda's back and the constant aching between your legs.

You didn't even make snide comments about each other in meetings or during training. You were able to keep everything in the bedroom.

The success of what you two had going forced you to ignore the noteable change in feelings you had towards Wanda. You saw her differently but couldn't quite tell how. Sometimes it was as though the unplaceable emotion you had towards her from from start spiked and other times you were purely confused.

It was always most prominent after she made you crash over the edge of bliss or when she came undone beneath you. Those moments when your bodies went limp and you were caught up in each other's embrace because you didn't have the energy to move. Hearing her exhausted breathing match her rising and falling chest and faint heartbeat if you had your head on her chest. Those tender moments were the ones that caught you off guard.

You refused to make a big deal out of it though. You refused to investigate your feelings or even acknowledge them. What you had with Wanda was the most efficient thing you could do. You didn't want to muck it up but you knew it couldn't go on forever. Another labelless feeling emerged at that thought.

Natasha was the only one who knew what you were doing. Neither of you told her, the spy was able to figure it all out on her own quickly and confronted you both about it once, only saying to be careful. That was the only time she addressed it verbally but you could always feel her watching you both carefully when you trained.

You thought it was going great. You and Wanda had finally been cleared for a mission that you would both be on, the team certainly needed the man power. That was until Nat told you otherwise.

"What do you mean I'm not going?!" You exclaimed across the room. You had seen Nat in the meeting room looking up something on her tablet and had gone in to enquire something about the mission that was long forgotten.

"I've thought about it and you and Wanda still aren't deemed the most reliable when put together for a mission, with this one being as important as it is we can't afford to make mistakes." Natasha sighed.

"So why don't you take Wanda off the mission? I have more experience."

"Her powers are perfectly fitted to this mission, we need her."

"And not me." You knew you came across as petty, but you had been dying to go back into the field.

"Y/n." Nat tried but you scoffed and glared at the screens with those assigned to the mission. Your eyes found Wanda's picture first and your jaw clenched at the sight of her ridiculously attractive face.

"What did she say to you?" You demanded as something clicked in your brain.

"She didn't say anything, this is my judgement." Natasha began but you didn't buy it.

"We both know if it was you you would have told me as soon as you decided it. You had no issue with me and Wanda being on this mission before. Hell, you cleared us both for the field." Nat glanced down at her tablet guiltily as she searched her brain for another hopeless lie.

"This is unbelievable." You scoffed and turned sharply on your heels to storm out of the room, ignoring your name being called by Nat.

You soon found Wanda in the kitchen making herself a coffee as she hummed softly. You willed your brain to ignore the warmth you got from seeing the redhead in her own, peaceful world.

"Do you have a problem with me?" You demanded, snapping her out of her trance. She visibly figited when she saw you approach her and lean on the edge of the kitchen island on you hands with an expectant look.

"No?" She said, seeming unsure.

"Don't you fucking lie to me." She seemed startled by your increasing aggression.

"What are you talking about?" She asked as she stirred her drink.

"Don't play dumb with me, Maximoff. You got me off the mission!" Wanda stopped her movements as she froze, clearly caught off guard by your discovery. Given how Nat had acted you guessed you weren't meant to find out it was Wanda who said something.

"It's for the best." She finally said but avoided your eye.

"It is not your place to decide what's best for me, you don't get to do that." You argued.

"There should only be a few people on the mission." She tried.

"I know that, I've seen the intel. But we already discussed that those people should be powered. Why am I being taken off?" You demanded again.

"It's dangerous." She muttered as she stared down at her drink.

"It's my fucking job. You think I don't know that."

"Of course you do, but there's a bigger risk than the usual missions we've been on. A bigger risk of you getting hurt." She muttered the last bit, like she wasn't entirely sure she wanted you to hear her. Granted, Wanda showing concern for your safety was new.

"Any one of us could get hurt." You said, lowering your voice marginally.

"But it's you I'm worried about." She insisted. It was your turn to become uncomfortable, shifting slightly under her gaze that held something new.

"I can take care of myself." You said as you crossed your arms, feeling a sudden defensive need to protect yourself.

"I know... but I care about you." You exhaled slowly, becoming increasingly uncomfortable at the tone of her voice. "If something happened to you..." She continued, "I don't know what I would do." Her voice was barely above a whisper, the softness laced in it undeniable. It sparked something in you. Something you didn't want to accept.

"Good luck on your mission, Maximoff." You said through gritted teeth and went to leave but Wanda was behind you instantly and took ahold of your hand to pull you back.

"Wait, I wasn't done-"

"Well I am." You snapped and yanked your hand out of her grip.

"What..?" She said slowly.

"If you don't want to work with me then we won't, no need to keep fucking anymore." You huffed and went to walk away.

"That wasn't what I-"

"Stop!" It wasn't a cry of anger. It was pure desperation. Your pleading look took Wanda by surprise and pained her to see. "Just stop before you say something you can't unsay." You said shakily. Your unspoken message was received. You didn't want to hear about Wanda's feelings towards you. She just didn't know it was because you were afraid that it would uncover what you had been feeling all along. You couldn't handle it. You were scared.

Wanda nodded, defeated, and let you go. You were filled with grief as you walked away, your footsteps feeling heavier than usual. You wanted to look back, to go back to her. But you couldn't.

*

You distracted yourself with a particularly ruthless training session the day of Wanda's mission. Carol showed you no mercy in sparring, weight lifting and boxing - even encouraging power use every now and then. But your mind still wandered to the redhead the way it usually did.

When you finally collapsed on the mat in defeat Carol chuckled and tossed you your waterbottle before encouraging an ice bath and strolling out of the gym for her evening flight.

You stayed on the floor for a while after you finished your water, only stopping staring up at the ceiling when Nat's outline blocked the lights. You sat up and looked at her hopefully, seeing that she was back from monitoring the mission and didn't seem distraught or upset.

"How did it go?" You asked as she sat down across from you.

"It was a success." She said but she didn't seem all that happy.

"And everyone's okay?" You asked cautiously. Nat gave a half shug and sighed lightly.

"There was ice - a lot if it and it was so cold. Dangerously cold." Nat started. You tried not to clench your jaw or show any signs of annoyance, knowing there was no need to point out that mission was fitted for you and your powers that would have guaranteed everyone's safety.

"Wanda got a little cut up, it was impossible to fight on that ground." You eyed the door and bit your lip, refraining from giving in to the urge to go see her.

"She doesn't want to talk to anyone right now, but she needs seeing to the cut." Nat said as she placed a first aid kit down infront of you. She was back already? And why did you have the kit?

"She won't see anyone either." Nat said before you could verbally question her. It took a moment for you to understand what she was saying.

"I don't think she wants to see me, Nat." You said as you pushed it back her way only for her to toss it into your lap.

"Goddmit, y/n. Can you two stop dancing around each other and actually talk?!" She exclaimed.

"We tried that-"

"Talking, y/n, not shouting or arguing. Talking." She said firmly and got up before you could protest further.

You pondered over what Natasha said for a while. You knew she had a good point, that talking was exactly what you should have done from the start, but it was just another thing that frightened you.

"Your job is facing your fears." You muttered aloud to yourself.

You finally got up from the ground, first aid kit in hand, and trudged along the compound towards Wanda's room. You tried to figure out what you could say on the way. But it all came out a jumbled mess that made no sense. Multiple times you stopped in the hallways and considered turning back before convincing yourself to keep going.

You knocked softly on Wanda's door and was surprised that it opened for you. The redhead in question was sat on her bed with a pillow in her lap, fiddling with her hands the way she always did when she was anxious or deep in thought. That evening it was both.

She glanced up at you as you closed the door but turned back to her pillow quickly when you gave her a short smile that didn't quite meet your eyes.

Regardless, you cautiously walked towards her bed and sat down next to her with the small box between you. You brought one of your legs up under you so you could face Wanda and eyed the cut above her eyebrow in concern. She still didn't say anything, neither did you.

You opened up the small box and got out a pack of wound closure strips and carefully unwrapped one. Wanda didn't object to you gently holding the area around her cut as you placed the strip on and lightly smoothed over the edges until you were sure it would stay on.

"I let my emotions cloud my judgement." She mumbled as you prepped another strip.

"It happens to all of us." You said.

"But I didn't listen to you. I should have." You sighed and stopped unwrapping the strip to look up at the redhead and watch her closely. She looked back at you with a guilty and pained expression that was full of regret.

"Yeah." You nodded slowly as you went back to the medical tape and raised your hands to put it on but the Sokovian held your wrist to stop you. "What's done is done, so just let me put these on and we're good." You said but she still didn't let go.

"Just like that?" She questioned.

"The mission was a success. If I'd had been there you wouldn't have gotten hurt, that's all."

"You were really mad though." She continued and you put your hands down to rest them, not failing to notice that Wanda was still holding your wrist but with a much lighter grip.

"It's hard to stay mad at you." You admitted.

"You've always been mad at me."

"Well it wasn't exactly like you were the friendliest person to me." You pointed out. "I was never mad at you, Wanda. I just hated that... that you made me feel something I've never trusted, so I didn't trust you. It was never your fault, I was unfair." You admitted as you stared down at the tape the whole time, afraid to meet the redhead's eyes.

"What did you feel?" Wanda asked, her voice void of emotion making it more difficult for you to say. You gulped as you continued to stare at the tape, willing yourself to give Wanda the answer she needed. The answer she deserved.

"Love." You voice shook. "I loved... love you." You were shaking more as you finally looked up at Wanda. Her eyes were wide and her lips slightly parted like there was a million thoughts trying to be heard but without the ability to.

She didn't say anything for a while. A long while. She stared at you in disbelief then at her pillow as though it would give her all the answers.

Tears rushed to your eyes that you tried to blink away as your head swam with curses to yourself for admitting your feelings. You had opened up and been vulnerable to Wanda, and the result was the exact reason you had sworn to never do it again.

Once you were sure she wasn't going to say anything to you, you took it as your cue to leave. To leave so Wanda could prepare her rejection speech for you. However, as soon as you put your hand to the door she spoke out.

"Please don't go."

You turned around slowly and met her light brown eyes you had always found impossible not to get lost in when you had your fingers or tongue inside her. You timidly went back to the bed and paused before sitting down next to her, facing the wall instead of her this time.

"I thought it was one sided." She started and you felt yourself begin to shake with nerves again. "I thought you didn't love me back." You looked to Wanda quickly and searched her features for any signs of a lie, any signs that she was setting you up to push you down but she was gazing back at you longingly with tears glistening in her eyes.

"When you confronted me about the mission, I was going to say it then, you knew that." You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded, remembering the fear you felt in that moment.

"I wasn't ready, I thought I wouldn't ever be but," You took a deep breath "I want to try, for you." You took ahold of Wanda's hand to reiterate your point. "I care about you too Wanda, so much. More than I could ever express or even handle and I didn't know what to do about it. I mean we've tried a fair few things now," You both laughed a little, "but it I don't think any of them are going to work as well as accepting it and...and I don't know." You looked to her for guidance because fuck did you need it. You needed Wanda to guide you down whatever path you chose to take, as long as she was there with you.

"Maybe we could start with something small." She suggested with a small smile that made her eyes shine.

"Like a coffee date?" You tried.

"Exactly like that." She confirmed, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Then I'll pick you up around 2." You said cheesily making Wanda laugh. "But first, I have to finish tending to this cut." You declared as you turned around to face her entirely and crossed your legs under you, pausing for a moment to give Wanda a short and sweet kiss.

[flunkyofmalcador]

This is for @relax-and-read-on and @incorrect-primarchs-quotes

I did a "Primarch sexual head canons" about seven years ago. I've had time to rethink some of them, so here we go. (It's not like I could find the original post at this point anyhow.)

Lion El'Jonson: The one true asexual of the bunch. I just cannot see him being interested in anyone. I've tried.

Fulgrim: He's metasexual. He has never met-a-sexuality he didn't like. He's an entire LGBTQ+ pride parade in power armor. In an open relationship with Ferrus Manus, but Ferrus doesn't take advantage of the arrangement except when they have threesomes. And hoo doggy do they have threesomes.

Jaghatai Khan: He's straight, but is kind of having thoughts about Sanguinius in the Siege of Terra. He has a lot of wives and kids back on Chogoris.

Perturabo: Dear Perturabo. He surrounds himself with automata and sleeps in a labyrinth which makes me think that he was sexually abused along the way. I also headcanon him as a deeply closeted trans woman, so closeted that even Pert doesn't know it and sadly, nothing may ever come of it. He is content with his own ministrations, and some fan writers have said he makes his own sex toys, which I think is likely. He could fall in love easily, which is another reason he stays remote from people.

Leman Russ: Speaking of doggy...I don't hate him, okay? and I have a lot of head canons and even some fic about him. He's married to Sigrun the Wolf-Queen. Like Luther and Kor Phaeron, she is one of those half-Astartes the Emperor could fashion. They have four kids together. Russ is open! and friendly! in his physical affections and he and the Queen have an open marriage because they are apart so often. He is absolutely magic in bed because his wolf-nose can sniff out what's turning his partner on or not. He knows what you want before you do.

Rogal Dorn: A typo in another writer's commentary about Dorn sending poetry to his lovers via astropathic choir made me think that he would actually be pretty good at polyamory. He has the 100% honesty required for it. Bisexual, but strongly prefers women. In my Daughters AU he and Perturabo finally break the ice and fall for each other hard.

Konrad Curze: In "Butcher's Nails" and other ADB works about the Night Lords, it's made pretty clear he's a necrophile. In "Butcher's Nails", Lorgar comments to Angron that a corpse-filled Dark Eldar ship "looks like Konrad's bedchamber". My brother in Christ, what were you doing in Konrad's bedchamber?

Sanguinius: GAY. Unfortunately, between being 700% gay and raised in a patriarchal desert society he's also quite the little misogynist. Had very little experience before he met Horus, and the two were inseparable immediately. Read my fic "Wings" for the whole story. After he and Horus break up, he transfers his affections to Jaghatai Khan. Khan's open to the idea.

Ferrus Manus: I have a really different headcanon from most people because I see him as a widower. His wife and kids died on Medusa and he only came back to life himself when Fulgrim walked into his lonely forge. He loves it when Fulgrim wears lingerie and as I said above, they enjoy a good threesome.

Angron: Spent his entire life being abused. He's not asexual at all but I think he knows he's too dangerous to try to have sex because he is NOT a rapist. I like the idea of him being one of Lotara's two husbands, but honestly I think Lotara is lovers with Kharn only.

Guilliman: His libido is sublimated as hell, but it's there. He's attentive to detail and has a plan when it comes to consummating it with a new lady (and his partners are ladies). He knows he has to get married and have kids at some point, but aargh, he's just so BUSY.

Mortarion: I don't know.

Magnus: Prospero is a world where polyamory is the norm and people have family webs, not family trees. He has several wives and husbands and kids. Definitely does the whole psychic sex thing; you know when he's coming home with loving on his mind because you've been having orgasms out of the blue for the past half hour. Magnus is the one primarch I want to marry, but for his intellect and love of the occult, which I share.

Horus Lupercal: Bisexual AF, and has gone through 3/4 of the Custodes and Sisters of Silence in the Palace before he meets Sanguinius. After that, he's monogamous until Davin. Post-Davin, he's fucking Erebus and you cannot convince me he wasn't banging Petronella Vivar either.

Lorgar: This boy is messed up. He covers his sexual dysfunctions in celibacy. It's Kor Phaeron's fault.

Vulkan: Open and friendly like Russ. I don't know him very well because I can't stand Nick Kyle's writing and so my takeaways are all from fanfic! He and Russ compete to be the best huggers.

Corvus Corax: Totally married to Nasturi Ephrenia. Bisexual, but hasn't acted on it yet. Eventually will, probably with Vulcan.

The Twins: I am not ready for that conversation yet.

[simonsnowichooseyou]

This excellent essay was posted by @goodbyedandelion and reposted on Instagram—however their account sadly seems gone now. But it is in rememberence of their Tumblr spirit that I post a continuation to their essay!

EVEN MORE Reasons Why Carry On is so groundbreaking as a YA Fantasy/Romance

Misconceptions/Character Complexity

A large topic in YA Contemporary is gossip, but I feel like fantasy doesn’t touch on this as much. Think of how others perceive one another in Carry On. Early on we learn that Simon, for example, saw Penny as different because of her race. But of course, we quickly know this isn’t true.

But what about Agatha? In Harry Potter, for example, Lavender Brown and other feminine characters are often looked down upon because of their femininity. We often as a culture perceive beauty as overcompensation for what’s inside. Sometimes Agatha is looked at in the same light in Carry On, but when we see things from her POV, we realize that Agatha is perhaps the smartest one there. Maybe she’s not Penny Bunce-smart, but she has the survival instincts that Penny lacks.

Agatha isn’t the only one. Baz looks cold and unfeeling from others’ POVs, but we quickly learn that he is a boy with a soft heart that’s been hardened by his past. Everyone thinks he cares about nothing but we know he cares about his mother and how she’d feel about him; his father and step-mother and siblings; Simon, of course; Bunce, in his own way; he even cares about flowered suits and dramatic entrances! We think Bunce is nerdy and perhaps annoying, but we learn she’s very sweet and like a mother to Simon. And the mage. Ugh, the mage. We think he cares about Simon but we learn that for every bit he cares about Simon, he cares about the war more.

Rowell doesn’t allow any character to be simple, stereotypical, or as they appear. My sister, for example, was saying that Baz sounded like a stereotypical gay man in the media. But he’s not, is he? He might love fashion but Rowell does not make him simple or stereotypical. Everyone is so complex, and she uses the multi-POV to not just show us their complexity but also the complexity of how they are viewed by others.

Woman on Woman Drama/Anger

For years and years, only one woman was allowed to have a true seat at the table in films. Take Indiana Jones, the original Avengers, and Star Wars for example. This woman was often made to be the sex appeal or romantic interest, but I’ll save that for another day. Because of there only being one spot, it set a precedent that women in media needed to fight with each other to take that spot, thus depriving us of women getting along!

At first, I was worried Rowell had fallen into this trap. Bunce thinks Agatha is simple and too feminine, Agatha thinks Bunce is a major pain in the ass. Their dislike for one another is complicated in that they’re essentially two different types of feminism battling it out, and half of their fight was about Simon and their roles in his life.

But in the end, Penny and Agatha create a relationship that exists outside of their relationship with Simon. Penny sees Agatha’s strength and resilience; Agatha recognizes Penny’s harsh exterior for what is is. When Agatha moves away, they text without his even knowing. Penny is the one that decides they need to check on and save her. In the end, penny and Agatha fight alongside one another.

Rowell didn’t just give us a feminine friendship—she showed us what we’ve been doing, and how to get from Point A to point B. I think it’s the most underrated part of the series.

True Friendship

It might sound bad, but I truly believe a lot of today’s media ruins the idea of friendship. I just feel like none of the portrayals are realistic. Friends are either joined at the hip and have never fought (toxic) or never get along (also toxic). The fact that Baz and Penny and Simon and Penny and Agatha and Penny can get into fights but still continue to love one another platonically is really heartwarming to me.

Trauma/Mental Illness

I remember getting to the end of Harry Potter and thinking “he went through all of that and we’re just supposed to leave him now?” We see some remnants in the most cursed play ever: The Cursed Child. But more than trauma we see someone who looks back on the days they risked their life everyday with *longing.* While that’s about the most Harry Potter thing Harry Potter has ever done (and the most canonical part of that play) it’s so unrealistic. You’re telling me Harry grew up with nothing and was an amazing father—minus a few spats with his son. You’re telling me Harry was able to hold it together emotionally after fighting for his life from ages 11-18 without a therapists help? You’re telling me Harry lost two father figures in the ministry of magic AND spent 7 years going through what amounted to a lesson titled “the government is corrupt” just to be a part of that government!?

Wayward son isn’t like that. Wayward Son shows us what happened to Simon afterwards, and it’s not peaches and cream. He had therapy, he quit therapy. A lot of us have been Simon on that couch, and we all needed the Baz in our life to drag us across a metaphorical America. Wayward Son is hands-down my favorite book. Realistic depictions of mental illness, check. Subverting our expectations of after the end, check. Reading it feels like taking a road trip, check.

As OP mentioned, Simon is a beloved chosen one because he’s just so wrong for the role. He’s not levelheaded where he should be, he’s bold in all the wrong places, he couldn’t possibly maintain a professional relationship with the coven. Meanwhile his super-hot enemy Baz was the absolute perfect choice to be chosen, but he was completely passed over. And part of this chalks up to how Simon became so powerful—fate isn’t twisting its whims this way and that. Simon is only chosen because he was a Petri dish experiment-gone-wrong baby. When Simon asks the fates why, really he should be asking the mage. There’s something delightful about the fact that Simon was made. The chosen one was made, and in the same process, so was the greatest threat.

De-escalation

I think it’s clear by now that Carry On is a great book, Simon Snow is an amazing series, and Rainbow Rowell sure can write. But I feel the need to point out that the end of Carry On wasn’t well-received by everyone. I recommend the series to everyone I know and some people are really disappointed you don’t get a big magical battle at the end. Some people think Simon filling in the humdrum was a cop out. But I disagree. I felt it was thrilling to witness a book where war was as stupid in fantasy land as it can be in real life. This is the first fantasy I’ve ever read where they find a better way to handle conflict than senseless fighting. It’s emotionally rewarding, to me, to see de-escalation. To see conflicts fixed before they start to be huge problems. It was a risky choice for an end, you have to admit. But Rowell pulls it off amazingly.

Nothing is Wrapped in a Bow

A day will never go by without me thinking about the fact that Simon Snow Salisbury doesn’t know who his parents are. Or how Baz will never know what exactly happened with his mother—whether she really ended herself to avoid vampirism and whether she would’ve done it to her too. We’ll never even quite understand the mage’s plan behind fix the humdrum and get an all powerful boy wizard on his side. Rowell doesn’t wrap everything up. She gives you closure as often as she gives you something to ponder. The ending of Harry Potter was so controversial, I think, because it spelled out so clearly much of what was happening. And what you didn’t learn in that epilogue, Rowling released later through Pottermore and interviews. That’s fine and dandy—but there’s something to be said for ending Simon Snow’s books with questions. Not infuriating questions but rather things that I’ll always ponder—that will shed new light on different situations depending on how I look at them. Rowell sets a precedent that you can fill in Simon’s world with your imagination while also reminding us that life doesn’t have endings. Not really, the way books to. Rowell is one of the few writers of today’s fantasy, I’d argue, who’s okay letting things go unanswered. There’s always a thread of fantasy and magic going. It’s something that will keep Simon alive in my heart for many, many years to come.

So yeah, that’s what I think about when I think about Simon Snow. It’s not nearly as coherent as the original post but I hope you enjoy it.