#the most loyal soldier to a cause he doesn't believe in

[uu-tella]

Tella's Karuta cards, from chapter 87

[raayllum]

More Than Anyone or Anything

or why I think Callum is Like That: The Meta.

AKA because I realized that while I've talked about Snake Boi Callum and why I view him that way before, it was mostly in regards to explaining his canon traits that aren't usually very disputed. These being:

His sometimes obsessively dangerous qualities, specifically surrounding magic (1x04, 1x05, 2x04, 4x01, 4x02, 4x04)

His ambitious side (man heard from the one magical 'expert' he knows that humans just flat out cannot do primal magic naturally, said fuck that, and got it in a week after one week of practice)

His temper (1x01, 1x06, 1x09, 2x07, 3x08, 4x01-4x04, 5x01, 5x05, 5x08)

His ruthlessness (turning on Viren the second Ezran is in danger despite trusting him for years beforehand; his attitude towards Claudia in 2x07 after she's likewise betrayed him; smiling when killing corrupted soldiers in 3x09 even when Ezran expresses grief and Janai expresses horror when she was facing a similar scenario during the timeskip; arguing to take the violent route in 5x05 whereas Ezran and Rayla pick the more preventative one).

Therefore, for this meta, I will be focusing specifically on why I interpret Callum as Selectively Loyal to the point of being willing to help free Aaravos in order to spare, specifically, Ezran and Rayla's lives (and not necessarily anyone else's, such as Zym and Soren).

Strap in boys — this is going to be a long one.

Disclaimers: As always, this is just my opinion, and an interpretation being popular in fanon does not automatically mean it's better or more valid / rooted in canon than any other kind of (less popular? maybe common) interpretation. I will also be making it clear when I'm drawing on sections/snippets from supplementary material (TDP short stories, novelizations, and Tales of Xadia) but give that it's supplementary material, feel free to take it with the ultimate grain of salt.

Related Metas (that's worth reading if you're interested in other Snake Boi aspects that are not going to be heavily touched on here):

Callum's temper (S1-S3) and how it links to him typically feeling helpless to fix/aid his loved ones, causing him to lash out even sometimes at them

How Callum operates differently from Ezran and Rayla (S1-S4), but very well embodied I believe by the scene in 5x05 where Ez and Rayla side with the "violence as a last resort" option and Callum does not

How Callum views Zym and the egg in Arc 1 differently from Ez and Rayla, or how Callum sees things as tools and why he gets fixated on / what he projects onto objects (much like Viren with the mirror)

Differing Priorities for Callum and Rayla in TTM, in which Rayla only engages in their scheming because she thinks Viren is a threat to the whole world, and Callum comes up with their scheme because he just wants to give her closure

What does the Trio's Tales of Xadia's bios actually mean? (this one will be touched on the most down below, so feel free to skip unless you want a more detailed refresher)

Specifications:

If you're someone who doesn't see Callum this way, but you're genuinely interested in reading a differing perspective, please read on. If you're someone who doesn't necessarily see Callum this way, but you're curious and/or on the fence, please read on. If you'd like to add your own thoughts to this post, feel free to add on if it's in support; if it's differentiation, please make your own post (I'll engage respectfully with if it I want to).

If you're someone who is only going to get upset with my viewpoint, please curate your internet experience and do not read this post. If you're only going to make thinly veiled meta rebuttals of this post in a rude way ("even though some people may think...", linking to this post, general assholery), please do not read this post. You would be far happier if you were less obsessed with an opinion I've held for 5+ years and months & months before you likely joined the fandom. i just want to chill in my corner, please do not chuck pillows at me for doing what I've always had a good time doing that doesn't hurt anyone.

With all of that out of the way, let's get into it

What do I mean when I say selective loyalty?

Loyalty has always been an interesting trait to me, simply because in the bulk of storytelling, it is a necessary character trait for a story to function. One of the biggest things that a character can do to be disliked is be a traitor towards someone that trusted them, and if a character is too disloyal, they can be hard to engage with due to a lack of consistency. Characters who start out loyal to no one/nothing inevitably have arcs, provided they stick around in the story long enough, of garnering loyalty for someone (usually found family loved ones > a cause) in order for them to be able to progress as a character. We want characters to bond, and we want them to be there for each other, and if they're not at all, we want to see what happened or what other bonds they might form with other people. If not loyal, we want to see why they're working with someone at the very least.

Therefore, everyone in real life or in fiction has some elements of 'selective loyalty,' since we all have people (the people we know and love) we are more loyal to, fundamentally, than others (strangers / people don't know at all). It's just a natural normal thing to adhere more to valuing and looking after the people in your immediate circles over people you don't know at all, even if that doesn't mean we're void of caring about strangers, either. Our empathy or compassion, as well as the social structure of our living units and lives, are more cohesion for caring for strangers than it is for competing with strangers or being wholly indifferent.

For a quick overview of the way selective loyalty can work, I'm actually going to talk about Claudia quickly, and her internal hierarchy. While she is loyal to the princes ("Their Dad is dead and you lied about it. Plus they're our friends. It's wrong") to the point of that possibly being an opportunity for severance, initially, with her father ("Careful, if you tell the truth you will lose her"), Claudia's loyalty to her father ultimately trumps her loyalty to the princes, and even to her family with Soren.

For the opposite approach of selective loyalty, I'm going to talk about Rayla, who regularly bails out strangers (the boys in 1x03, Phyrrah in 2x07) and enemies (Bait as a frenemy in 1x05, Nyx in 3x05) as well as the people she grows to love (the boys on regular intervals). She and Runaan, as is Soren, are all willing to put their perceived missions/duties not only above but in direct opposition to their familial loyalty / family ties.

Callum, TO ME, is not, and here's why.

When I say that Callum is selectively loyal, I mean that there is ultimately nothing he will put above Ezran and/or Rayla at any interval with very few exceptions (aka if they're still breathing, he's still going to be fighting for them). This is for a few reasons.

I'm going to talk more about why it's Ez and Rayla specifically later, but for now I want to talk briefly about how they factor into his decision making and what see of them from people who have lost his loyalty.

Despite knowing and having trusted Viren for the bulk of his life ("Claudia! Lord Viren! Anyone!"), as soon as Callum learns that Viren has put Ezran substantially at risk ("Two [targets]? What do you mean?" "I'm here for the king, and I'm also here for his son, Prince Ezran") Viren is fucking Dead To Him.

It's not just that Viren lied, it's that Viren's lies and choices put Ezran in danger, and that's just not acceptable. We see this happen again with Claudia in S2, even after Callum defending her and trying to give her chances. She lied, yes, but she scares Ezran and attacks Rayla again, and that's the breaking point.

When you threaten the people he loves, when you scare them, if he trusted you, he will never look at you the same way again. Any loyalty he felt towards you will snap and snap hard, permanently, like a wishbone.

Callum loves and cares for other people. He loved and cared for Viren and Claudia. But unlike Ezran, who is willing to give Claudia a chance in 3x09 to the point of running after her, helping hand extended, and unlike Rayla, who still adamantly loves Runaan even after their fight and with no hint of change from him, Callum does not take other people hurting his family lightly, at all.

He loves and cares for Amaya, and Soren, and Harrow. But even Harrow, his father, is someone he's willing to put on the backburner — despite having an offered chance from Rayla to save him — in order to do what Harrow asked and what Callum's first instinct is: to look after his brother, because it is fundamentally unsafe for Ezran to stay at the castle for any longer, and he knows it.

Callum knows what the egg might mean, but he does not follow Rayla out the dungeon door blindly. He runs only after Ezran does, and only after Claudia might hit Ezran with lightning. Then he acts. Then he makes a choice. Because his loyalty to his brother outweighs after other substantial relationship in his life, at this point, but it doesn't necessarily stay that way.

Inner circle

In Tales of Xadia, all the characters are given values. While the values have more generic explanations (i.e. Callum's highest one, Liberty, is labelled as, "Have you ever resisted the control of others? This value is about freedom and autonomy. You’re motivated by a world without oppression or suppression") the characters individual bios help offer more clarity on their specifics. Callum's, specifically, states, "I am beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom." Ouch, from Katolis' crown prince and Ezran's heir apparent.

It is, of course, important to not take this trait entirely literally. If Callum truly valued his own personal autonomy over everything else, he would've taken Finnegrin's deal in 5x08 in a second if all he wanted as his own freedom. Instead, Callum's highest value being Liberty is far more about his place with Freedom as a Theme more than something he wholly actively desires; again, we see in 5x08 he's willing to risk more of his freedom by doing dark magic in order to save Rayla.

There are things that Callum values more than his own personal freedom and there are things that he values more than magic (2x04: "Callum, you're being an idiot! Why would you do that? You can't risk your life to learn magic") vs throwing himself off the top of the Storm Spire at the slimmest chance of, once again, saving Rayla.

That said, this value and quote is still very useful, as it does then, beg the question, of who exactly is Callum's inner circle? Well...

Ezran and Rayla are the most important people in the entire world to him. Full stop. There is nothing he will fundamentally put above them. He only stays behind in 1x06, thereby not sacrificing the egg by proxy, because Rayla points out "We'll need to be up here to pull [Ezran] out." Even when he was stressing about whether they'd gotten to the Sea of the Cast Out on time, the second Rayla showed a hint of major discomfort/potential self-deprecation, he was offering to get back into the goddamn boat to comfort her ("I'm getting out—" "No. I can't do it, but you have to"). He's hesitant to go into town to find a vet for the egg because "We will definitely find some elf hating humans," pouting further when Rayla brushes him off, and flings himself off his balcony when he thinks there's even a chance that Ezran isn't okay into what he knows would subsequently be a trap. He's the first to say that they need to leave Rex Igneous' chambers after protecting Ezran from falling rocks with his own body, and the last to actually leave, almost being crushed by rocks himself because he's so committed to standing there and watching Rayla leave.

He equates Rayla's love for him with his love for Ezran on Day Nine (2x03: "I couldn't tell him. And I understand why you couldn't tell me. When you care about someone, it's hard to hurt them. Even when what you're saying is the truth.")

Hell, he even forgets that Sol Regem is there in 3x01 because he tunnel visions on Rayla needing his help so intensely she has to point out the massive ton dragon actively trying to kill them to him.

He's a nurturer, a fixer, a solution seeking. He wants to make you feel better ("See it's working right? Don't you feel a little better?"), he is a kind reassuring word ("Don't be so hard on yourself, Ez") always, he thinks of your problems even when you don't (Rayla's binding in 1x07), he will lay his life down for you without question ("I am Prince Ezran"), he will get mad at you for treating yourself poorly (3x04, like almost all of S4), he dotes, he notices, he will compromise his beliefs for you ("Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it was all for nothing? [...] But Rayla was in trouble"—S2 novelization).

You mean everything to him: "Rayla's strong, thin arms wrapped around him meant everything" (S2 novelization of the hug scene in 2x04) / "You're my brother, and you mean everything to me" (2x06).

You are his whole world.

If you're part of his inner circle, and not everybody is, so let's talk about it.

[ Callum, excluding Claudia and Soren from their support system, even though the siblings haven't yet betrayed them, while including Rayla, even though he and she haven't made up yet. ]

What about Soren and Zym?

As stated before, Callum's selective loyalty does not mean he doesn't care about other people in his life, such as Claudia (in the past) and people like Amaya, Soren, and Zym in the present. Merely that, slightly like Claudia, Callum does have an internal hierarchy of care — the way you might have friends vs best friends — of who takes priority, and we see S1, S4, and S5 in particular demonstrate this quite well.

As already stated, Callum prioritizes Ezran over the egg in 1x06 and is held back emotionally by Ezran fuelled logic and physically by Rayla. In 1x07, he doesn't want to risk going into town — even to potentially find help for the egg — because of his last disastrous experience with humans and Rayla. In 2x04, Callum is perfectly happy to walk around a sea to let Rayla avoid her fear of water, and approximately 5 minutes later is getting on Ez and Rayla's case for goofing off (with Rayla's thinly veiled and fallible disguise) because "Sometimes getting someplace slightly faster is important, like right now." Wasn't quite the tune he was singing earlier, now was it? For Zym, we see this again in 3x04 — Rayla is having a breakdown, so she has more of an excuse, but Callum should conceivably be much more clear headed, and he still tunnel visions into leaving Zym alone with Nyx leading to the theft. Likewise in 4x07 when the group thinks Zym might be gone, Ezran is the one who states, "I'm not leaving without him," and Ez and Rayla are both pretty broken up about it; Callum is sad, for sure, but he mostly focuses on taking care of Ezran and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Then you have Amaya, who Callum loves dearly, but isn't particularly torn up over not trusting or lying to (1x04, 5x03) in spite of being close to her, and isn't as vexed even when he thinks that maybe something bad has happened.

Even when Callum thinks it was bad, and potentially very bad ("The way Gren was talking, I thought maybe the world was ending or something!") he doesn't get angry and he doesn't get demanding. This is very different from how he responds to Ezran and Rayla being potentially in danger or just in trouble.

Which on that note also highlights another key importance between how Callum treats Rayla, in particular, versus how he treats Soren. Now, you could argue that Callum in 5x01 has emotionally matured/healed further than he has in 4x01 prior to Rayla's return, and that would be perfectly fine to do. However, it doesn't change the fact that just the hint of Soren keeping a secret — even before Callum thinks, at all, that it's about Ezran — makes him wait on the battlements to coldly and sternly interrogate Soren about it. With Soren, he demands,

C: I know this — the ties are true as the ocean is deep [...] It means I trust her. Unconditionally. Let her go. Now. R: About your key and the bow. I can explain. C: No, I meant what I said. You don't have to explain or justify anything to me.

Even when Rayla engages in actually shady behaviour — omitting the truth if not outright lying, stealing his key, and retrieving a painfully poignant weapon — Callum doesn't get mad, at all. Soren just implied he was potentially keeping a secret from Callum at the council meeting and lowkey got his ass handed to him, with Callum literally shoving him out of his way and needing Corvus' help to coral the angry step-mage.

Furthermore, even when Soren goes missing in 4x06, although concerned, Rayla is by far the most broken up about it. Ezran is optimistic because he's, well, Ezran; Rayla is torn because even though she doesn't know Soren that well, she feels like it was 100% her fault he's gone missing and has possibly gotten hurt; and Callum, well... mostly focuses about how she feels about it, and less so about his actual friend (because if Ezran or Rayla are emotionally hurting, they will take priority to him). He's focused on making sure she feels better.

Again: Callum loves Amaya, and Zym, and Soren. He loves them dearly. He wants to and does protect them. He can and will take care of them. But push come to shove, they're not in his inner circle — he doesn't trust them the same way, and he doesn't focus on them the same way, because when it comes to his inner circle, he loves them

More Than Anyone or Anything

So after seeing Callum like this from S1 onwards, you can imagine I was pretty thrilled upon opening up his bio in Tales of Xadia — which seems to be the most 'canon' of the supplementary materials thus far (scenes and ages are changed in the novelizations; timelines get a little wonky in the prequel graphic novels; some designs from "Callum's Spellbook" ended up being different; the art book is full of beautiful concepts, of course, that never understandably got off the ground) except perhaps for Though the Moon — said the quiet part out loud. Not only does TOX have plenty of lore drops and hints at future arcs that are coming to fruition (Aaravos' connections to Elarion, mentioning the Great Bookery of Lux Aurea and Leola, etc) but they did something very interesting when it came to what values which character had. There's some leeway as this is very much an Arc 1 reading (probably most clearly seen in Soren's bio) but there is still plenty of bleed over into Arc 2.

Now, as I said before, we don't want to take the Values too literally. As talked about previously, a lot of the characters highest values seem to be things their arcs are set up to thematically test rather than being a 1:1 what they value the most. But I feel like you can glean a good deal from them, so let's look at the trio:

EZRAN:

Justice — 10: I expect the best of people and try not to become an agent of cruelty.

Devotion — 8: All creatures—regardless of origin—deserve love and appreciation.

Liberty — 8: I value the liberty of everyone, sometimes even more than my own.

RAYLA:

Devotion — 10: Love and devotion compel and define me.

Justice — 8: At great personal cost I will strive for what’s right.

Liberty — 8: My only allegiance is to my heart and those who know it.

CALLUM:

Liberty — 10: I’m beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom.

Devotion — 8: I value those close to me more than anyone or anything.

Mastery — 8: I aspire to know the great wonders of every primal magic.

Out of all the more 'heroic' characters listed in the handbook (Amaya, Janai, Aanya) only Callum and Lujanne do not have Justice, "Have you ever been compelled to fix what’s wrong? This value is about balance, virtue, and reward. You’re motivated by adherence to fairness and what you think is right" among their top 3. Each have it at a 6, instead, which the guide labels as, "This matters, but so do many things" and is the second lowest ranking a value can have. None of the main cast have any value at the highest ranking, 12, either, to help indicate scale perhaps.

Devotion, then, is the one we're currently the most interested in for Callum, since as said before, while the general value descriptions are useful, the specific ones help show more indication. Devotion is referred to in Tales of Xadia as, "Have you ever been obligated to others? This value is about duty, faith, and friendship. You’re motivated by the bonds of loyalty and your love for others."

Although devotion is Rayla's highest value, her devotion value makes no indication of who/what she is Devoted to. Whereas Ezran's reflects his deep love and appreciation towards animals (hence saving the baby glow toads in S5) and Callum's we'll get to in a moment, Rayla's we're not privy to. Instead, we can look at her Liberty value, as it states that her allegiance is to her heart ("My heart for Xadia") and to her loved ones (her friends, her family). Much of her arc is therefore feeling torn between what she thinks/feels her duty is versus what her heart is telling her, indicated by her letting Marcos go in 1x01 and the subsequent fallout.

We can also see her state this more clearly in Through the Moon, in which Callum is the one primarily concerned with her parents ("he’s stuck worrying about her parents. About what happened to Runaan. She can’t move on, not without knowing the truth of what happened [...] I hope you find your parents. And Runaan"), versus Rayla going along with the plan, "Callum, listen. Soren was worried about Viren too. Worried that we never found a body. We need to know what happened to Viren. He’s a threat to the whole world! This might be the only way to be sure he’s actually gone! [Upon entering the Portal...] Okay. Viren. My parents. Runaan" and then 5x01 spells it out even more directly.

R: Callum and Ezran need me. A great evil is trying to return to Xadia and we have to stop it, at any cost. I think this is what you would want me to do. I love you, and I haven't forgotten about you. I never will. [...] It hurts me to know they're trapped like this. It's agonizing. But our mission comes first. The world is in danger, and you can trust me to stay focused.

Now this makes sense, as Rayla having this push and pull has not only been a defining feature of her arc most seasons, but is ultimately what's going to be the most challenged when the Callum possession plotline rears its head. Does she kill/incapacitate the man she loves in order to protect the world, or does she fight to get him back no matter what, even if that may lead to ruin and chaos? (I'm hoping for the second one, but I will eat either up, lemme tell you.) Does she finally refuse to sacrifice, or does she barrel on hoping she'll only have to sacrifice herself?

The reason I bring Rayla up at all is because I think it provides a good contrast to how Callum operates, specifically in 5x04, in which case he reaffirms his devotion ("I would do anything for you") and then risks everyone's lives by staying late at the Great Bookery, even when Rayla says three times that well, this isn't the time: "Not yet, Callum... Believe me, I want to do something, but... Callum, we need to leave!"

Rayla cares about everyone, and is willing to risk her life for enemies and for strangers. She will abandon her mission for the world in favour of looking after individuals because they need help, regardless of what it asks of her: "Live or die, this dragon goes home." (And because she believes Ezran and Callum can accomplish the mission without her, but that's a post for another day.) As Bloodmoon Huntress makes explicit, as Ethari says:

Who I love, where I love, what I love, are all specific. But to Runaan and those like your parents... love is rooted in all families, all creatures. Souls like that feel called to protect everyone as fiercely as those they hold close. Each time Runaan leaves, it is with the weight of knowing that he may not come back. That to fulfil his duty, he may need to sacrifice everything, himself, and all that we have here.

Rayla likewise feels called to protect everyone, and that's precisely why by the end of Bloodmoon Huntress she's chosen to literally and figuratively follow in Runaan's career path, in order to be able to help protect and save people like Suroh (a stranger she immediately becomes entangled with). As Rayla says to the vision of Runaan and her parents in 5x01, "I think this is what you would want me to do," because they are ultimately all more alike (even in the occupations Rayla holds, such as assassin or dragonguard) than they are dissimilar.

The reason I highlight Rayla here is because 1) it is her highest value, being the only character to have it as said highest value (Claudia's, likewise, is only an 8 — but everything she does is indeed for her father, and unknowingly herself) and 2) I think it provides a clear contrast to Callum.

Because Callum's devotion does outline who, or what, he's loyal to. He isn't loyal just to causes and he isn't loyal just to concepts. While he cares about the world, when his back is up against the wall and it's a choice between that kind of security vs the life of a loved on (Ez, Rayla), Callum will always choose the latter. He cares about the world — to a Point.

I've talked about it before, but merely a statement of "I value those close to me more than anything" would accordingly be a lot more vague. There could be discussions and debates on what the 'anything' constitutes (morals, responsibilities, hurt feelings) with a lot more grey room as to whether it would include people (strangers).

“Maybe there is something I can do,” Callum said. “Ezran, you stay here. Protect Bait and Zym. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon—with Rayla.” [...] Could he really bring himself to go through with his plan? What if he didn’t succeed? What if he compromised his beliefs and it all ended up being for nothing? […] But Rayla’s blade bounced off with a clang, sparks flying. She reeled back and tried again. Nothing happened. She was in trouble. Callum inched toward Claudia’s [book].

—Book 2: Sky novelization

But the inclusion of "more than anyone" changes that. It does include people. There is no wiggle room about that.

Now, I'm not going to base my whole thing on one (1) statement from a supplementary material. As previously stated, I've seen Callum with that exact same sentiment for years now, well before Tales of Xadia (March 2022) was released, and well before S4 or S5 premiered. I've gone over a lot of the reasons I thought Callum had selective loyalty even in S1, but I haven't touched too much on one of the biggest reasons why I think that selective loyalty includes a devotional component that borders on dangerous (at least, in a story). And that's, well...

“Rayla told me you used Dark Magic,” [Ethari] said, more stiff and cold. Callum shrank a bit, but his eyes hardened. “I couldn’t just let her die.” “You’d do it again." The prince scowled. “I’m not like Aaravos. He twisted the primal to be like Dark Magic. I would never do that.” “Unless you felt like you had to,” [Ethari] reiterated. “To save Rayla.” “Wouldn’t you do anything to save the person you love?”

—chapter 13 of a fic I co-wrote called in search of silver linings (we discovered gold) from july 2019, respectively

As soon as Callum opened up the door with dark magic in 2x07, I knew it was something he likely would never be able to entirely close. Not for lack of trying or wanting — but that his willingness to engage in dark magic at all spoke to a few different things. The first was the effectiveness — what spell to use, what would be most useful, and what Rayla's biggest problem would be (her swords unable to cut chains) — but most of all was what pushed him there: his devotion.

While magic has always been the thing presenting Callum with paths (to be a mage or not a mage, to be a primal or a dark mage), his bonds with other people, and his love for them — Rayla in particular — has always been what's actually pushed him down certain paths. His love for his mother, and her love for him, is what helps him unlock the sky arcanum. Callum unlocks his wings out of his love for Rayla; he goes down on the path of mage because "you called me a mage, and that felt right."

Although mastery of magic is one of Callum's highest values (an 8, just like his devotion), it was always clear to me that magic is not something Callum values above the people he loves. He can be obsessive, and his love for magic can sometimes put himself and other people unintentionally at risk, but thus far we've always seen him course correct the minute he realizes what's happening. The second things begin to go south at the Banther Lodge, Callum reflects, "We never should've come here," and completely forgoes the quest for the cube. He tries to risk his life just for magic in 2x04, but as we've gone over, he's unable to go through with it, but he will risk his life for his loved ones.

His rejection of dark magic was, to me, of being a dark mage, of not also pursuing primal magic, of relying on dark magic. Not that he would never, under any circumstance, ever do dark magic again if the show put him in the right circumstances. And then he did, in spite of knowing it would make him more vulnerable to Aaravos, in spite of not having any confirmation it wouldn't bring on a second possession, in spite of the fact he was fine being tortured if that meant not doing it or participating.

Then we have Callum giving up the spell, and the fact that the Ocean arcanum is linked more directly to love within his arc — "To love is to simply know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep" (5x01, 5x08) — in addition to being aware that there are unknown depths in what he's willing to do for said loved ones/Rayla.

This is not to say that none of the main cast would do dark magic — although I don't think Soren or Ezran ever would, and I think Rayla would but only perhaps using herself as spell parts — but that, as the primary mage character, it's going to and is playing a much bigger part in Callum's arc than the others, who are given other thematic considerations.

He hates dark magic. He doesn't want to let Aaravos control him. He refuses to help Finnegrin. He folds on all of those things motivated by love. It's a weakness and a strength; something that, in my eyes, will likely lead to his fall to Aaravos ("Seems to me love's got a tighter grip on you than those chains around your wrists, so I'll do you a favour [by killing Rayla] and set you free") as well as what might save him. But to focus on the fall, with everything already said behind us:

Why Love Instead of Curiosity?

Now, obviously the theory of "Callum will free Aaravos because of [insert non possession reason here]" could be wrong. There's merits in having arcs about the tragedy inherent in losing your agency, it would still open up an interesting arc after the fact, and all that good stuff.

Callum has also very much always been an Icarus figure. He can be obsessive with magic, he can take it too far, and he does have a deep curiosity and thirst for knowledge that has already gotten him in trouble by not excluding dark magic from the bunch.

And deep curiosity is already hinted to be what partially causes him to fall further into Aaravos' clutches in a few different places. The mirror ("What secrets are you hiding?") and the cube ("Perhaps it will be you, Callum, who discover's the cube's secrets") seem accordingly linked and fittingly so, for the Mystery of Aaravos, as is magic: "it's the secret of the primal".

Zubeia also warns regarding curiosity, citing that, "Aaravos was able to give them something they wanted very badly. Aaravos chose as his instruments people who had strong minds and strong hearts… but who had an insatiable thirst and fascination with magic. Aaravos could offer them access to the great mysteries of the universe. Mages were his prey," which implies that this thirst for magic is what got them (primarily) into trouble. This is reflected (pun intended) in both Aaravos' reading of Viren as "You are too curious, hungry for knowledge and power," and while Callum is hungry for knowledge (and not necessarily power), his short story in which he finds the mirror highlights one of these things as well:

Callum’s eyes prickled with dust and tears. He rushed back to the spiral staircase—but as he reached for the figurine that would activate them, he noticed one last door he hadn’t checked. The small chamber beyond it lay dark and silent. A gleam caught his eye. Callum blinked at his own reflection. Curious, he stepped through the door—and there it was. A mirror.

With all that in mind, and I'm sure there's ones I've missed, too, why on Earth am I arguing that while curiosity may play a factor, I think it's going to be love that ultimately causes his initial downfall / playing into Aaravos' hands?

Well...

For starters, I personally find "doing terrible things for love" to be not only a primary theme of arc 2, but much more fundamentally sympathetic than just getting in over your head because you were a dumbass who couldn't read the signs. I know for myself that if Callum fucks around and accidentally gets himself into a place where (under possession at that point or not) he helps free, or just flat out helps, Aaravos knowing everything that he knows, if he does it for love I will defend his choice every step of the way. If it happens just because he wants more power or magical knowledge (hello Viren 2.0 beat for beat) I'm gonna be a lot more critical of him. After all, Claudia has done a lot of awful things but I still have sympathy for her because they were for her family, in their own fractured way, and operating out of a place of deep emotional pain. If she was doing that just because she wanted to be Powerful and Knowledgable, then no, I'm not going to be that sympathetic.

The other half of it, which you might have already guessed, is that curiosity is not a Motivation. It's a manifestation of a character's pyschological makeup. Even for a character like Viren, who very much chased power, ultimately, for the sake of power, we take time to dive into WHY he wanted those things ("To know that I mean something to you, it means everything to me" / "I dream of a bright future for humanity") and his internal justifications, no matter if some of those turned out to be lies.

Characters who are curious are curious because they want to solve puzzles and have a hard time letting things go; or else they are curious because they want to prove themselves by solving things first; or else they are curious because they deeply love and want to understand and protect the world; or else they are curious because they want to know and have access to tools so that they can fix problems; or else... Well, you get the idea.

Even if it is primarily Callum's curiosity and love/thirst for magic that gets him into trouble (and thus far it largely hasn't been, as we see in S2 with his motivation for doing dark magic — yes, there was a part of him that was undeniably curious about what it would be like, but I don't think he would've pushed himself into doing it without the dire straits of "I had to, to save my friends")... That doesn't answer why he's curious.

Either he will pull a full Greek tragedy and be so scared of freeing Aaravos he accidentally walks into it by trying to prevent it directly (and one of the main reasons he's scared of Aaravos is because he's scared he might hurt people he loves through possession) or he needs another motivation, but it can't just be "Callum really wants this [insert magical knowledge here] and it ends badly," because that offers a plot summary, not an emotional character beat. There's no motivation. They'll have to explain why he wants the magical knowledge, why he's chasing it, why this level of curiosity is something he cannot or will not put down even with all the risk factors at play. It has to be grounded in some kind of sympathetic emotion, and love or fear or a desire to be helpful/useful, or all three makes the most sense to me and with all the prior setup.

Conclusion

As a closing note, as well as thank you for reading this far if you have because this got wildly long and out of hand, I want to reiterate that in many ways, to me, Callum's devotion to his loved ones — that he says "I would do anything for you" and mean it — is indeed his saving grace and biggest difference from Viren, who would rather offer up himself or others or have Harrow die than relinquish the egg, because he would never put a weapon into Xadia's hands. Being devotional — valuing the individual — is not always a good or bad thing, nor is prioritizing the 'greater good' always a good or a bad thing. TDP is deeply interested in exploring all the different circumstances of motivation, sacrifice, and choices.

Nor is selective loyalty a bad thing. I'm not wired that way, but some of my closest loved ones are (and of those in the fandom have, overall, greatly aligned with this perceived aspect of Callum). Merely, this meta is meant to examine the claim in Tales of Xadia that "I value those close to me more than anyone or anything," why I was surprised but delighted to see my view of Callum be so directly spelled out, why I had that view and continue to have it, in addition to aspects/pieces of the text that I think support it.

I believe that Callum is loyal to Ezran and Rayla on a fundamental level he does not really extend to anyone else (including many other people who are also his family) and while this is in many ways something that creates the best sides of him — his nurturing, compassionate, thoughtful and protective traits — it is also something that can be exploitable and dangerous, particularly in a narrative where he is set up to be controlled/coerced by the big bad.

And this meta hopefully explained why.

You can take it or leave it.

—Dragons out

[myinnerartist]

Hello, hello, it is i, load!

With something that was a meant to be a response to a reblog chain i hadve with hypnoi...

But I decided to make my response into its own post instead…for I have a lot to say. (I tried to restrain myself but– )

(And in my experience reblog chains that have a lot of reblogs and/or are really long can cause lag. Idk if their device experiences it but just in case i didn't want them to deal with the lag ^^”.)

I also had thoughts about making this type of post before as well. So I additionally took this as an opportunity to finally make it. I hope that's alright.

And now, I just wanna say, I will be going into detail on all my thoughts about almost everything about My Inner Demons. The writing, the story, the worldbuilding, the characters, the scenes, about almost everything.

And additional heads up because despite this show meaning alot to me, and something that I've created related to it has helped me through so much and something I've poured blood, sweat and tears into.

There's going to be sections that may not be pretty. Where I can't hide my feelings when talking about some of these certain points.

Also that I'm not a professional, these are just my personal thoughts, feelings and opinions on Aphmaus show.

But finally getting into it;

My thoughts on Aphmaus’ My Inner Demons.

—- Let's start with a quick recap.

Within an alternate dimension, there is a world known as Daemos. Where a group of 5 individuals take it upon themselves to find a solution to their world's magic-crisis.

Said group consisting of their leader,

a Second-Born Prince known as Asch, Along with his 4 Loyal Knights, an ex-assassin named Leif, an ex-soldier/general of Rhal(the first-born prince)s army named Pierce, an individual who would've been executed just for being considered weak if Asch didn't ‘spare’ him named Noi, and a not very much is known about member named Rhys, who has a student/teacher relationship with Asch's Grandmother.

Said Grandmother helps the five to find a solution to their world's magic-crisis.

A magic-crisis where the source of all their magic, which comes from human souls, is running out. (A crisis caused by not very smart decisions leading to an extinction of humans) (And a Crisis not known to the general populace and other kingdoms. only the royal family and its council from the most powerful kingdom of them all, know of the crisis.)

(Through Lady Grandma) They learn of a possible solution, which leads them to take on a mission to kill the last remaining human for their soul. In order to use it to open up a portal to another world, which they called “ea-urth.”

Here within Ea-urth, is where they temporarily experience utter suffering, And where they meet a human girl named Ava who finds them, and panickedly asks if they need help. Which, they awkwardly stand silently and glare & stare in response instead. (Because Pierce said don't show weakness. *Because Daemos society doesn't allow you to.*)

However she finds Asch collapsed on the ground behind them, quickly realizes he's unaliven’t and performs cpr. Saving his life, and as a show of thanks(/jk) they immediately threaten her. Before then abandoning her by hanging her on a tree by her hood.

They then get traumatized by cosplayers, return to force her to help them. She passes out after Asch turns the tree she was hanging on into ashes, and finds that their horns are real. (he burned the tree down because she didn't believe they were from another world and this in a way pissed him off. :3)

And now with her strangely intelligent cat they mistake as an earth spirit that somehow got outside despite the door being locked. Leads them back to her apartment with them carrying her like a bag of potatoes. Burning said doorknob off because locked and COULDN'T GET IN. (Johnny how???)

And soon after she wakes up, and tries to escape but fails. they spend HOURS. Literal HOURS. Waiting for her to STOP. SCREAMING. (which damn ava you got some LUNGS in you!)

When they finally get her to stop. Conversation and LIEing happens. Both sides. And a police station is involved until Ava dips out on that idea because they start threatening a police officer.

And this leads to her finally accepting she'll teach them how to live on earth!

.

.

… (*deep sigh*) …

.

The show is then quickly mostly about (forcibly) romantically pairing the boys with Ava.

.

With the occasional beginning or ending scenes within occasional episodes that portrays what's happening back on Daemos.

Which is about Rhals fiance, Lady Bish, (which one must assume is the (temporary) lead Villain of the season) Who slowly figures out what Lady Grandma has been up to, what's she hiding. And repeated hints & clues to Asch's fated sacrifice with more and more description.

The first season.. the show unfinishedly ends with the boys forcefully being returned to Daemos along with Ava magically disguised as a Daemos.

Got all that? Good, now onto

— what I gathered from My Inner Demons… (pt 1)

The story seems to have wanted to be a Harem rom-com (romantic-comedy) with a serious underlying tone & story. And i think also wanted to be for a more mature audience, at least for teens and up. Due to its inclusion of sexual jokes, (somehow minimal or non-existent) cussing, and… I guess violence?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (listen man i said “wanted”)

In my opinion, the show fails to succeed in what it wanted to be.

– Let's get into the romance first. Shall we?

The romance in this show is not done well. Not at all, To be honest.

The show forces romance onto the main cast whether it fits their character, their inner stories, or if they like it or not. When Ava finally thinks about possible romance, it's because she's being pressured into doing so because of the people in her life. Not just the boys. But adults that she's supposed to trust and be friends with.

And the boys? They don't love Ava. Even if the show tries telling us around the end of the series they do? Also that they suddenly gotten comfortable and adjusted somewhat to daily life on earth that they help do chores now? We didn't see that growth. We saw nothing. This is out of the blue!

If they were intending to be a shojo something jump type of story like ouran host club, this wasn't Previously established, nor does it fit the story (*cough* that could've been told. *cough*) additionally, even if the story was like this, they still needed to show that development!

And for most of the story, the boys only want to marry ava for power, because of a misunderstanding that she is princess of earth (*....Deep sigh…*). But suddenly they all are actually in love with or have a crush on her??

*sigh*

— onto about the comedy

I think, we can all agree… the comedy is atleast a hit or miss, and awkward and uncomfortable at most.

(I'm so sorry for mentioning these scenes 😭) Examples: Like… the bathroom scene with Rhys and Lady Grandma… plus every single… one of those jokes Ms.Oates and Lady Grandma has made.

I'll.. i'll talk about their jokes. Not right now, though.

Anywho,

I personally think the comedy aspect in general doesn't fit the story. Don't get me wrong, every story needs a bit of comedy. But with how serious the ‘underlying’ story is, the comedy is… yikes. Ofc, you could still do an overdramatic(/pos) comedy that ends up transitioning to a more serious tone at times, (Aka Romantic Killer on Netflix, which i think can count as a physiological horror/neu) but i don't think that style fits this story, or at least the story we got.

*deep breath*

– onto the serious tone/underlying story…

The serious underlying tone is overshadowed by the comedy. And the serious underlying story is not just overshadowed, but disconnected from most of the story.

Every. Single. Time. The show gives us what's going on on Daemos, and then goes back to what's going on on earth. Is almost whiplash. Due to the utter tone shift between earth and daemos. Idk how to describe it, but…

When we're on earth, it's a comedy. The way things happen on earth are dramatic, possibly one could even say theatrical and illogical, including the characters themselves. It tries to include serious moments, but again, they're overshadowed by the comedic atmosphere.

But on Daemos? It has a darker atmosphere, it's more serious. The characters on daemos are also taken (somewhat more) seriously. Though comedy tries to coexist within it... but it just feels out of place or doesnt work with what Daemos is described and supposed to be and feel like.

I wouldn't say the shifting of tone between worlds is inherently bad.. in fact it could be used quite cleverly!

In other stories. I personally don't think it works with this story in particular. I'll explain this further, later on.

Additional note; the boys were once treated with this seriousness. In the very first episode, they're in a more serious atmosphere, and treated more seriously! Like, Asch was kinda intimidating when he threatened to kill his loyal knights that respect him if they chose to stay! (... oh, we will talk about Asch.)

But the moment, we see them on earth? Say goodbye to them being treated seriously and as adults!

Oh yeah. Additionally, they are not treated as adults. What do you mean? They act like children! Which doesn't make sense for… their world and culture they're from. They wouldn't.. act like children, even if the show might imply that daemos are cruel and selfish, but if they TRULY were, this stroy wouldn't.. really work. (I'll explain, i promise)

AND that the boys seem to almost fit the group of misfits trope! They all would've been killed for being weak or being who they are because who they are is deemed weak if Asch didn't save them, spare them, or show mercy! They're alive because Asch took them in and his position as a second-born prince, right? (We will talk about Asch…)

--- This is Part 1 of a multi-part series of my thoughts on Aphmau's show because I have an abundance of thoughts, and there's a character limit on posts! 💜💜💜🫶

See you in the next part! (If you choose to, ofc!)

[kennyswurvegurl]

Thinking about Carlos and trust. How his trustfulness isn't portrayed as being naive or stupid. How it's just as big of a part of his character as his kindness, quips, and good intentions. How that word is often repeated by him in the beginning of the game.

With the environment he grew up in (being a child soldier and all), trust would have to be super important, drilled into his head from a young age. Being able to trust and be trusted by your allies keeps you alive in the field. He trusts his comrades, who fight alongside him. He trusts Umbrella, who saved his life and bought his freedom. He trusts Jill, a woman he just met who very clearly and openly despises who he represents, even if he doesn't trust her word on Umbrella's evil. Not yet at least.

He also appears to value transparency as a part of this, becoming audibly upset when his "search and rescue" mission becomes "find and detain." This is where he sees the curtains start to peel back a little, and we get some small insight into what makes him tick. His main goal on this assignment is to help people, evacuate the innocents. He's happy as long as people make it out alive. He's rebellious against the idea of turning Dr. Bard over to the company to die for this reason. Sure, he takes it in stride when Jill acts verbally hostile towards him (continuing to joke around and assist her without hesitation), but when deception and injustice come into the mix? That makes him angry. It makes me wish we got to see a verbal confrontation between him and Nicholai, the murderous traitor. For now, it's enough to observe that he's willing to risk harm to make sure he won't get away at the end of the game.

When he watches Dr. Bard's confession, he's confronted with the undeniable proof he's been fighting for the wrong side due to his misplaced trust. He's been a fool, unknowingly part of a cover-up. He's understandably pissed, physically lashing out on the nearest object in the room. His anger may even be directed at himself (at least in part, the majority is for Umbrella) for being so blind. He realizes Jill had no reason to put her trust in him, yet she did anyway, even growing to care about him. She told him the truth about the outbreak at the very start, but he didn't believe her. He might even view this as a form of betrayal towards her. In the end, he fights tooth and nail to try and make things right, to repent for the sins of his employers. He wants to truly deserve the trust and care he had been given by someone who had every reason to write him off and turn away. Most importantly, he wants to do what he thought he was doing in the first place, save lives.

End Note: Everything said here could also apply to an analysis on loyalty as well. He starts loyal to Umbrella, but quickly shifts towards Jill and her cause. I would talk further on this, but Capcom has yet to release Carlos from the basement so I don't have much to work off of in terms of post-Umbrella characterization. We just know that's he's very pissed and vengeful towards them. I am once again asking for a Carlos-focused spin-off set between 3 and 4. Please.

[alexistalkingsstuff]

Everybody Wants To Rule The World- Tears for fears.

Today I will be relating this song to six of crows.

"Most for freedom" - this part being about Inej because she wants to have freedom more than anything. Matthias because during soc he just basically wants to get the fuck out of there and be a Druskelle again (obviously his motives change throughout the books) Wylan who wants to run away from his father. Nina to 1. Break Matthias out of hellgate. 2. To go back to Ravka. Jesper to be free of debt and guilt.

"And of pleasure." Kaz is a money whore.

"Nothing ever lasts forever," - chapter 40. They were all supposed to make it. But as much as they all wanted to believe they are not invincible.

" Everybody wants to rule the world." - In Ketterdam a lot of the time people's main motivation is power. Jan Van Eck wants to maintain his wealthy lifestyle while using a drug that basically kills Grisha and is almost like torture but he doesn't give a fuck about the people he hurts because he wants to be richer and why would he care about people's lives when the cause of their death, jurda parem, is mostly benefiting him. Pekka Rollins wanting to be the boss of the barrel even if that means preying on innocent children and their naivety.

"There's a room where the light won't find you,

Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down,"- This part being about how loyal the crows are to each other and how they each find love within this group both types too. They find platonic love with the fact they all have a strong bond. They also find romantic love within their pairings. (Kanej, Helnik and Wesper.) This part could also be about the ending in which Kaz and Inej hold hands without armour and the "walls tumbling down" are the walls Kaz has put up to protect not only himself but Inej too. But he ends up breaking down those walls just for her as she holds his hand through it. (Literally and metaphorically.)

"When they do I'll be right behind you," -Again the loyalty within the group.

"So glad we've almost made it," - They didn't all make it however the ones who did are glad they did so they can experience life past this point.

"So sad they had to fade it,"- This might be just me but I feel like the crows won't be known as legends like Alina Starkov. Of course Inej will be known for her work of hunting slavers and being the total badass she is. And Wylan known for being a member of the merchant council. Jesper is reading assistant and partner and helping run the Van Eck business. Nina as a Grisha soldier (I haven't finished reading RoW yet so I don't fully know Nina's ending yet). Kaz of course is famous as dirtyhands and bastard of the barrel running a criminal empire. And Matthias will sadly be known as a traitor to the Druskelle. But they won't be known as "The Crows" the ones who broke into the ice court at least not by the public. And the fact that they were criminals and also a lot of them were considered "barrel rats" probably doesn't help because history is always written by powerful people and they would be able to twist the story however they like. Idk this might just be by personal opinion on the legacy of the crows.

[isaactheterrible]

TF2 Mercs Love Confession Reaction (Acceptance)

(Disclaimer: GN reader, the characters are purely based on my own headcanons and interpretations of their personalitie + She/Her Soldier)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.Sniper

-When you confess your feelings for Sniper he doesn't react in any visible way

-He keeps still for a while contemplating his opinions. He likes you but he's not sure if having a relationship is something he wants, due to his profession and all. Plus how does he know that your confession is not just some ploy to get him to put his guard down so you can kill him when he least expects it?

-When he makes up his mind he turns to face you

-"Sure we could go out sometime." He says smiling

-His incredibly suspicious of you when you start to date and does 1263839468 background checks on you

-If you manage to get him to put his guard down and trust you you'll get an adoring, loyal boyfriend who's always willing to stick by your side

2.Demoman

-Demo is suprised when you confess your feelings for him

-He freezes for a few seconds, brain going completely blank and responds to you with a 'huh?'

-Once his brain starts to work again he kisses you and starts to tell you how happy he is

-He immediately starts talking to you about were your first date should be

-He's very excited that you return he's feelings and dives right into a situationship with you

-If you manage to clear the air and get him to settle down he'll probably be one of the most fun boyfriends you'll ever be with

3.Scout

-First things first: Scout is incredibly insecure, alright?

-When you tell him you love him, he doesn't believe you

-While he's incredibly blushful he treats it like a sick joke or platonic flirting gone too far

-When you reassure him that: Yes, you do actually wanna go out with him. His entire demeanor changes

-He goes from nervous to incredibly happy to trying to play it cool within seconds

-When he's alone again he starts chastising himself for how lame he acted around you

-Still he's incredibly happy and has a hard time concentrating on anything

-The two of you start going on dates and are taking it slow cause Scout's inexperienced

-His cute and tries his best to impress you, he still has no idea how he managed to bag you but brags about it constantly

4.Engineer

-When you confess to Engineer he gets so flustered he just straight-up laughs in your face

-It's a habit he has nad it happens everytime he's nervous

-Once He realizes how him laughing at you could be perceived he quickly apologizes and tells you that he'd love to go out with you sometime

-His really blushful and finds it hard to maintain eye-contact

-You eventually leave and he continues with his work, daydreaming with a smile on his face

-The two of you probably start going out and having pretty little dates and Dell puts a lot of effort in making you happy

-Dell dates to marry so keep that in mind when deciding how to act

-Your finally have your own cute little nerdy engineer

5.Heavy

-When you confess to Heavy he simply smiles at you and caresses your head

-"Da, Heavy feels same way"

-He chuckles a little at your Star-Struck expression

-The two of you will probably have lots of library dates

-He is incredibly intelligent and knew you were into him for a while. He's not as oblivious as the others

-He had waited for you to confess first cause he wanted to see of you're brave enough to do it

-Congratulations! You struck gold: A caring, intelligent, loving boyfriend who's the definition of husband-material

6.Soldier

-They second the words leave your mouth Jane tackles you to the floor, engulfing you in a tight hug

-She starts squealing in excitement and talking way too fast, a confession of her own but the words are all mumbled together making it impossible to understand

-She eventually runs out of things to say and simply lays on top of you, happy to finally be yours

-If you don't physically push her off you'll be stuck there until the battle starts, Jane would never miss a battle

-She spends the entire of the battle blowing enemies up and giggling to herself

-Theres no taking things slow with Jane, you two were meant to be and you'll be together for ever and ever and ever

-Just have fun with your adventurous, insane, patriotic all-american girl

7.Medic

-Medic's eyes widen when you confess your love for him

-He stutters a lot when responding to you but he quickly accepts your confession

-After that you both get a little awkward and silence follows

-Your both kinda staring at eachother and the floor until the doctor shakily excuses himself, making up some kind of medical emergency on the spot

-He runs away to lock himself in his office

-Now that he's alone he starts smiling and dancing around the room in excitement, his good mood last the entire day

-They two of you start hanging out with lots of romantic tension, having deep conversations while taking strolls through the battlefield

-If you stick around you get stuck with a very self-centered insane German

8.Spy

-When you confess to Spy his heart starts doing laps around his chest cavity

-You wouldn't be able to tell from his facial expression but he's extremely suprised, you completely caught him off guard

-It takes a few seconds for his brain to fully process what you said but when it does he smiles at you flirtatiously

-While he tries to play it cool he's actually incredibly excited

-He smugly tells you that he could take you out to dinner if you want to be with him so much

-He maintains this careless facade until your out of sight where he cloaks and starts to spin around a little, accidentally ramming into a very confused Demoman in the process

-You two start dating and he takes you on all sorts of fancy dates, trying to impress you while making it seem that that's just how glamorous his life is in general

-It things go well you end up with a smug, rich, frenchie

9.Pyro

-Pyro flinches, physically jumping back in suprise

-They blush and are completely speachless

-Their not sure if they should accept your confession since they're not sure if they want a relationship at the moment

-After about a minute of looking at the floor awkwardly they start nodding

-They hold your hand with both of their gloved hands and continue to nod at you, that's their way of saying they accept your feelings

-You hug them but they don't hug you back, still they enjoy the embrace

-The two of you will start dating casually and things will go from there

-Pyro likes to take things slow so you'll have to be patient, but if you stay you'll get your very own pyromaniac

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link for part 2:

[endgameinthenorth]

Succession S4 Speculation on Greg

What skills does Greg even have? I think the only thing he's really accomplished is fine-tuning his ability to maneuver around Tom. He knows how to be somewhat manipulative and how to get on Tom's good side. He can weasel his way around a conversation and follow Tom's lead. I feel like there's little I can talk about in terms of skills that don't relate to Tom, his family doesn't even like him. Meaning his confidence is in welding his skills with Tom and that the twists relate to his relationship with Tom.

Nicholas Braun has said in regards to season 4 to "believe in Greg". What does that look like in the context of his character arc on the show so far? Jesse has said he doesn't believe people change — what I believe in for Greg is that at his core he wants love and approval, and he's going to do anything to obtain it. The "twist" will be the the lengths Greg will go to in order to obtain it from Tom. Most people think the twist will be a betrayal, but it's not much of a twist when everyone suspects it.

Something that's been kicking around my brain a lot is the motif of Greg being Tom's attack dog. An attack dog is a loyal animal that has a master and defends to the death on command, no matter who or what they're pitted against.

On Jimmy Kimmel Nicholas Braun mentioned he molded his character after a dog he'd been looking after. "He would kind of follow me around and he was looking at me like 'is it ok that I'm in here with you?' — you know kinda — he wanted to be next to me but he's sort of asking permission to be with me, and I thought 'that's pretty Greggy'."

What do these things mean within the constructs of the show?

In season 3 when he's allowed up while they're talking about picking the next president, like a dog he's just happy to be involved. And who let him up? Tom, holding open the elevator. Time and again it's Tom looping Greg in, all the way to the end of last season when he's given explicit permission to be at Tom's side.

The only problem? He's been enlisted as Tom's attack dog when by all appearances he'd rather be Tom's lap dog.

On a talk show recently Nicholas Braun was asked "What does Greg in attack dog mode look like? Are we ready?" He had a joking response about how we are not ready and that it's ferocious.

I believe Greg will be defending his place next to Tom in all aspects of life. He's been given permission to let that "dark side" of himself out. He'll do whatever he can to keep Tom and their codependency going strong, defending that bond is when he'll actually be "ferocious."

Because his deal with the devil? It's his safe place.

He thought Kendall was a safe place; he wasn’t. Thought, Oh, Grandpa Ewan will take me back in; he doesn’t. Logan brings him on his side, but it doesn’t feel that safe. At the end of the season, when Tom is like, ‘I’ve got a path for us, follow me,’ he’s like, Okay, I found my safe place. There’s just a lot of relief. He’s been torn between a lot of potential sides and tried to play it right. A big part of his struggle is, Where do I land here? Where do I fit in here? And I’ll be a loyal soldier to whoever accepts me.

The actor has also stated (in relation to going to the "dark side"):

"I don't think there's much that could turn him off at this point."

Double entendre not withstanding, if the dark side is being aligned with Tom (the devil), what things might "turn him off" and cause a betrayal?

Not feeling valued or wanted.

You can see glimpses of it in episode 2 of season 4 when Logan tells Greg to fuck off and instead of instinctively listening he first looks to Tom — alarmingly between the two he's still taking his cues from Tom and not Logan. In episode 3 he is "ditched" and forced to attend Connor's wedding without Tom to guide and protect him, and he seems quite eager in his initial phone call with Tom not only to rather be at Tom's side, but jealous of the others Tom has found to "Greg" for him. He's awfully pitiful in wanting Tom to see him as a person and valued. If Greg's betrayal happens at all, I think this will be the driving factor. I also think the long game of a betrayal would be to bring them closer together; after Shiv and Logan are properly out of the picture Tom will depend on him.

In an interview Nicholas Braun said "It's going to be exciting to see him let down some of his guards, and say 'fuck it, let's go for it,' whatever that is," (yes — what is it Greg's going for?) and in a seperate interview "I'm not sure how scheming he'll be. I've always thought of him as someone who does have that side to him. When I'm in his head, it feels like he collects information about how everyone operates and how can he use it against them."

In regards to his relationship with Tom?

"Maybe Greg will hit a breaking point soon, but every time he does, Tom does something to keep him wrapped up."

And what kind of things does he do? He shows him affection or offers a nugget of truth about his feelings. That's all it takes to keep Greg at his side. I think, from what we've seen so far, Tom continually will be able to step up and be more and more open and honest with Greg going forward. In episode 3 Greg was the only person Tom reached to yet again to display his true emotions so I have hope that this will continue going strong until the end!

[slifarianhawk]

Chapter 26: make it easy on yourself

As Albert, Excella, and I drank, I rang the boys back in through the comm link.

When they walked into the room, I offered them a drink to which Nighthawk and Steve took the offer up. I had Archer put away the Disaronno and Osmanthus wine as the festivities were winding down.

"Now that you are a part of tricell, there is something that needs to be done, my dear lotus." Wesker said, stroking my cheek,"a gift if you would believe it or not."

"Yes, the main reason I went to Russia was to extract two people. A Dr. Cordell and his lovely wife, the main doctor in the creation of the Angelis virus project, which you are so versed in." Excella said, taking a sip of her brandy.

My eyes flared their signature, icy blue. My blood started to boil, memories flooding to the surface. My body slowly started to tremble in rage. I dropped my glass and watched it shatter.

A massive growl was unleashed from my throat,"CORDELL!"

(FLASHBACK)

{Trigger warning torture mentions of non con}

/October 28,1998/

Cold, my knees and feet were freezing on the cement floor. Seven needles stuck in my back. My arms chained down pinned to my side. The cold steel dug deep into my wrist, causing deep gashes and scarring cuts. My body naked in a hunched over position translucent white fluid dripping from my back side. Tears stained my cheeks.

CRACK! A bull whip rung out slicing open the flesh between the first row of syringes. Searing pain was all I felt as the wound hastily repaired itself.

"Her will is undeniably strong, colonel Sergei. But it seems the Angelis virus has also made her at least much more easily fixable. Just admire how fast she heals." Dr. Cordell said, walking in front of me as my eyes glowed a cold shade of blue,"tell me, was she truly wasted on scum like that damnable traitor, Wesker?".

I growled and started to transform into the equinoxal mutation. They brought up him. Here, why!?! just to rub salt in the wound of being stuck here. My dead husband is coming back to haunt me again.

ZAP

Scorching pain seared through me. A cattle prod was pulled away from my side. The pain was a reset to my body, causing the transformation process to halt. The ringing in my ears started to amplify.

When I get out of these damn chains, Sergei will pay. He already had taken my support system, and now he's rubbing a wound with salt. I was going to make him pay dearly for this.

"Yes, I do wish I got to my niece first before that stupid roach did, but lord Spencer has his plans for her. As his most loyal follower, I'll obey his every command." Sergei said, taking a scalpel and carving his name into my back, "doesn't mean I can't have fun with her. I already tainted her lovely back side. Now I'm going to work on that pretty little mouth of hers. Slowly, I'll mold her into the perfect toy and soldier for me and Spencer. When the time comes, she'll be able to eradicate our infestation." A dark laugh echoed out of Vladimirs throat.

"HE IS ALREADY DEAD AND GONE HIC JUST KILL ME YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD." I screamed at the thought of Sergei shoving his disgusting penis in my face. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

"She doesn't know, does she colonel?" Dr. Cordell asked.

"Know what, Sergei? What are you not telling me?" I growled out, my nails slowly growing and turning black.

"Red queen." Sergei said, turning to face the wall.

"Yes, Colonel?" A red hologram of a beautiful woman appeared.

"Show our dear agent seven forty-eight the final moments of the mansion lab and front entryway." Sergei said as a screen lowered into view.

Cctv footage played of the Arkley lab on the night of July twenty fourth.

"You'll regret this, my lady, of that I promise." His eyes left a trail like mine except his glowed a brilliant red.

It showed him plowing through B.O.W.S. and even trapping Lisa Trevor. The best and worst part was that he was alive and had survived. He hadn't come to me. He didn't even come home or contact me.

"He.....he...... he abandoned me.....why?" I was there. I came back to Raccoon City to find him. Spencer was right he had survived and chose not to come for me.

Doctor Cordell laughed along with Sergei as my heart crumbled away into nothingness. The ringing in my ears was now a deafening roar. My face grew a sheet of black glass like silica, creating a mask that hid my tears. My choking sobs started to sound like blood curdling growls. My canines were now black and four inches long over my bottom lip. Six massive bloody batlike wings ripped from my back, throwing all but one syringe into the walls. Black silica bracers grew from under my skin, breaking their way through my wrists. I flicked the wings, and the chains corroded away. Cracks formed in the cement floor.

I was truly alone. My family thinks I'm a monster. My friends are dead. Sergei rapes me during the night. Worst of all, my husband abandoned me. The only things that keep me alive are my kids. However, Vladimir has my daughter here, and the other has been tagged for capture. My life has been made mute.

Darkness clouded my vision. The ringing was blaring in my head. Make it stop. Make it stop, please. The pain that radiates from my heart was driving me mad. Then, all of sudden, the ringing stopped. I feel cold and cramped.

《Entering 3rd person POV》

"What is happening, Cordell?" Sergei asked the now terrified doctor.

"This is the arch angel form, sir. Most of the research has been non-existent, and this form was just a theory. What happened if the equinoxal mental state was pushed to the limit and broke. She broke sir congratulations are due, but not at this time we should run." The doctor said, terrified backing away.

"Vladmir Sergei! Prepare to be sentenced to Hell!" A raspy roar ripped from Tabitha's deformed mouth.

"I don't think so, my dear fragile flower. I still have plans for you. Cordell, hand me the viral stabilizer you were bragging about." Sergei said with his hand extended.

She raced over to Sergei and swung her five inch long black talons. Her claws were as sharp as a lickers' talons they left a massive gash in Sergeis's side. She tried to retreat back, but Cordell handed Vladimir a syringe, and Sergei had injected it into Tabitha's neck.

Tabithas body started to flame up, and silica surrounded her body. It encased her in a black obsidian like cocoon. When it shattered, Tabitha's body had returned to normal splayed across the floor, and the mutations remained as obsidian statuary.

《Tabithas pov》

"You belong to me now agent seven forty-eight. If you try to harm me again, I'll kill little Miss Alistar and bring that bastard son of yours here. Do you understand, my sweet anemone." Sergei laughed, pulling my body up by my matted bloody hair,"Yes, anemone the flower of fragility. That's what you are not the filthy lotus of rebirth but a lowly buttercup of fragility. You are as fragile as obsidian and just as sharp. The weapon I need will be you seven forty-eight. Make this easy on yourself, my dear, and accept that you now belong to me."

"Yes, sir." I hung my head lost in a tidal wave of depression and reluctance.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

"Commander?!?" Nighthawk screamed.

Huh? What is going on? I can't move

"Everyone get back she's going Arch-angel!" Archer shouted.

The door opened, and I heard footsteps dashing out. It was time. I opened my eyes.

SHATTER!

I broke out of the silica that was starting to encase my body. I won't let that bastard Sergei control my life now that I was free. I'd choose when i go Arch-angel.

Albert was beside me, holding my shoulder. His sunglasses were off as he stared at my now sweat drenched face. He wore a concerned look.

"Tabitha, my dear lotus," He placed his hand on my face, his thumb stroking my cheek,"What did you see? What did you see in that flashback? I know PTSD when I see it. I've seen it in plenty of my men now tell me what you saw my love."

"Sergei and Cordell, when I found out you survived the mansion incident. They both watched me turn into the Arch-angel form. Sergei was becoming my handler, and all cordell did was laugh. Now it's time to return the favor to Dr. Cordell." I clicked on my comm link, "Archer, bring my scalpels, syringes, and pliers to the containment room. Have the prisoners transferred there."

I stood up, placing my corrective shades on, "Nighthawk, please escort me and Wesker to the lab. I need to make several doses of the angelis viral stabilizer and a special treat for Dr. Cordells wife."

"Yes, mam, please follow me." Night hawk bowed, revealing his massive hawk like wings.

"Project a.c.r.o.h? You certainly have quiet the mangarie of interesting people under you, my dear lotus." Albert said, admiring Nighthawk and his wings.

" Even so, we all gladly serve our Pheonix." Nighthawk said, leading Albert and I down the hall to my lab.

Once we arrived at the lab, I threw on my lab coat and sped to my workstation. Quickly, I prepared seven vials of my blood and synthesized three doses of max strength viral stabilizer. Albert stood in the corner as I worked. He seemed deep in thought.

When I dropped to the floor, he walked over and pulled me into a warm gentle embrace, "My dearheart, please be careful. I don't know a lot about the angelis virus, but I can tell that what happened has really drained you. Please, my lotus, make this easy on yourself and rest. Come, I have something to show you. He took my hand and led me out of the vehicle bay.

We walked along the trail of the apple orchard to Alistar's sanctuary. When we got there, I was shocked by the state of things. The statuary was put back together, surrounded by pink carnations. Albert sat at the bench he held me on last night and pointed at the angel statue that had a blue tarp in front of it.

"Go ahead, my lotus lift it. It's not much but something I could do to help you mourn better. I worked ever since you fell asleep, and Excella landed last night." He said as I turned to to fave the tarp.

With a quick grasp, I pulled the cover away and gasped. Tears were now forming in my eyes as I fell to my knees. There was fresh sod and a new headstone in front of Alistar's statue.

It read," Laid to rest, here is Alistar Lancaster. Daughter of Tabitha and Albert Wesker. May she wander the stars infinitely. 1982-2003"

Albert stepped up behind and crouched beside me. He draped his right arm over my shoulder. A relaxed smile was on his face for once. It was stunning.

"I know, I was not there for you or her either when she was born or when she died. However, I know that she wanted this. We are a family again, and once uroboros is complete, no one will harm us again." He said, looking at me, removing his sunglasses.

With a simple motion, I turned and kissed him, "Carry me back to base so I can rest. That way, i can make Cordell pay for all he did to me and Alistar. He will feel the pain that she felt and all the pain he caused me as well."

Albert quickly lifted me up and took me in his arms, heading back to base,"Anything you wish, my dear lotus."

[wildissylupus]

Can't believe I haven't done this yet but MW!New Blood's, let's go. Also I'm leaving Cassidy and Zarya last cause I've already talked about MW!Cassidy and Zarya already has a skin.

Anyway here we go;

Honestly Hana is easy for me to do as I already know why she would become a villain and join Talon. Hana was a gamer and a teenager when she was chosen for MEKA, so all you really need to do for her is make her less loyal to her country and more angry that she was cheated out of her teenage years. You could also probably add D.Mon and/or Dae-hyun getting injured or killed in a mission and bam, you got MW!D.Va. Personality wise I think she'd still be like she is in canon, except a lot crueler. I also think that in this universe she would have seeked Cassidy out to join Talon instead of the other way around. I also think that her and MW!Cassidy would have the same bitter outlook of their past and attitude towards the people involved with that past.

Pharah is probably the only MW!New Blood character I see not joining Talon and maybe even still joining Overwatch, mainly because the opposite of Fareeha wouldn't really be evil, the opposite of Fareeha would be a version of her who never wanted to be like her mother. Who despised what her mother did and everything she stood for, I honestly see this version of Pharah being very similar to canon Baptiste, except maybe a little more morally corrupt. In all honesty I could also see a MW!Pharah running a gang, maybe she takes over this worlds Deadlock gang? It would fit with the biker theme that Pharah already has in canon. I also think she would have taken her father's last name.

Baptiste, I honestly think there are two ways you can go with his character. One is that he joined Overwatch first but then left for Talon, probably having a similar storyline the Reaper in that regard, or he joined Talon and just... never left. Honestly I think this depends on what they do with MW!Sombra, but looking at the sprays and stuff I think they are putting her in a similar situation to Cassidy, meaning she was never a part of Talon. So the first option is most likely and the most interesting if we put MW!Mauga into the mix as always being an OW agent too. Basically there would be so much drama. Anyway I think MW!Baptiste's personality would mostly stay the same as canon, just with an evil twist on it. Also unlike with Cassidy I consider Baptiste's Scorpion skin as his Mirrorwatch skin cause it's a cool skin and actually fits the theme. I hate that Longhorn skin sm

Zarya, Zarya is the only one who has an offical mirrorwatch skin so I'll be looking into that for her characterisation. In Zarya's skin she has prominent veins on her arm which implies that she was undergone augmentation, most likely to make herself stronger. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if it was Vengeance. I think this version of Zarya either never became a soldier or put her own morals aside to be a soldier. Either way I think this version of Zarya never grew out of that blind loyalty that Zarya initially had, so maybe the reason Zarya is with Talon in this universe is because Katya Volskaya is with Talon in this universe?

I've already talked about MW!Cassidy so this will be a general thing. I do genuinly think that the reversed version of Cassidy would be an elite Talon member, Angela's second-in-command, someone who doesn't believe people can change for the better and constantly runs from his past instead of learning from. I also believe that this version of Cassidy would hold grudges and let his personal feelings get in the way of some missions. I think he'd be a gambling type, taking risks he knows he can handle, but he'd be less adaptable then the Cassidy in canon.

[madamefluffnstuff]

I have since decided; here's a list of all of my current ESO characters!

------

 1. Ebonymist - My main and longest running Vestige. She's a Khajiit Nightblade with a black tabby coat and baby blue eyes. Eye of the Queen and Champion of Anequina and Blackwood. Bows and arrows are her specialty, along with alchemy (specifically Invisibility potions) and lockpicking. However she's not part of the Thieves Guild or Dark Brotherhood. 

She's a very sweet and motherly Khajiit who firmly believes in the Found Family trope. Her friends are her family, her gaggle of pets are her family, Taznasi and co. from The Stitches are her family, etc. Her most recent "adoptees" are Fennorian, Ember, and Isobel. Razum Dar and her were as close to being a couple without actually being a couple. Now Ebonymist is working up the nerve to confess her feelings to Bastian Hallix. 

She tends to be more on the sentimental side, holding on to anything of value (like her Urn from Coldharbor, a shield that was gifted to her by a friend who fell in battle, Jakarn's dagger he gave as thanks for helping, the like).  As well as pretty much any remotely shiny object or fascinating knick knack she finds. She collects.

2. Brenda Steel-Heart - Tall, blonde, can hold her mead, and can swing a greatsword with the best, Brenda is a Nordic Dragonknight warmaiden. She is fiercely loyal to the Ebonheart Pact and her homeland of Eastern Skyrim. In fact Brenda's loyalty is so strong and she's helped the cause so much, Prince Irnskar has dubbed her "The King's Arrow".

The concept of family and friends is weird to her- she doesn't remember her biological family (since Mannimarco wiped her memories), and she moves around so much she doesn't have time to make friends. Instead she considers her fellow Pact soldiers her Shield Brothers and Sisters. Centurion Gjakil and his wife Irna are the closest thing Brenda has to a "family" family, after she helped save their farm. (And her dogs, of course! All five of them.)

As far as romance goes, her heart is open. Woman or man, lady or lord, Dunmer or Nord, she doesn't care. Strangely enough she has a thing for Dark Elves. Specifically one Morag Tong assassin. Which would definitely be breaking some protocols if word got out, so they have a long distance relationship and exchange letters as often as they can.

3. Ursalie Fanstiana - Bretons are known for their innate ability for magic. Ursalie is no exception. She is a skilled mage in her own right, though she is just starting out and getting her feet under her. "Dark" magic and crystal magic seems to be her specialty, but she has been known to summon the odd unstable minor daedra or two (whether its intentional or not is unknown). 

She is terribly shy and has always had trouble making friends. Her summoned familiars are her more preferred company, though she's been making more efforts to open up more. Unfortunately her lack of experience in friendships has led to a few mishaps of not reading the room; Poor Ursalie has fallen for Jakarn's silky smooth words on more than one occasion, and Darien Gautier's shameless flirting has had her staying up overthinking conversations more times than she cares to admit. Crafty Lerisa has been helping her though.

Ursalie is the least developed of my Vetiges, as I haven’t played much of the Daggerfall Covenant storyline yet but I still adore her.~

4. Reldaleyna and Peliion - Reldaleyna comes from a long line of respectable  Altmer mages. From a young age she excelled at the arcane arts, and was trained by her grandparents in the art of upper echelon etiquette and borderline royalty manners. She is very popular amongst her family's circle of nobles. 

Peliion, on the other hand, is a feral gremlin of a Wood Elf with absolutely no concept of social graces or presence of manners. He claims he was raised "in the woods" (which would not be entirely unusual for a Bosmer, but he also claims he was raised by wolves). Thankfully very few people take his claims seriously.

They are dating and very much in love. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special thanks to @gortrash @arisenlicious and @alaxon <3

[phoenix-flamed]

After the events at Phoenix Gate, Elwin is a bit traumatized -- something which is only added onto by the incidents of Eastpool and Auldhyl Docks in Rosaria. As a soldier, you'd think he'd be used to death, and he is to a degree.

But not like what happened in those two villages. It's a different kind of death, to him; where soldiers march into battle fully knowing they might, as well as being prepared to, die, these were just civilians who were ruthlessly slaughtered and strung up as an example to those who still felt loyal to the duchy. They weren't fighters -- in fact, many of the Bearers were old and feeble, for example.

In these two cases, it isn't just the unnecessary and gratuitous loss of innocent lives that haunts him. It's, more importantly, the fact that these were all people he had once known, and had vowed to protect and defend during his time as Archduke. It's the fact that he had failed them, and it's the guilt of knowing that, or at least believing that, he is the cause of their deaths by the decisions he had made so many years prior -- which had set the wheels in motion for everything still going on at present.

He has frequent nightmares about the bodies they had been forced to bury, and about the scenes that had greeted them upon entering those two villages in particular.

With regards to Phoenix Gate, the trauma is a bit different. Again, he suffers from nightmares about what had happened, but his memories in those dreams are disjointed, fragmented, and don't make sense to him. What he remembers most is fire. That is a constant during these dreams -- fire, burning him up, threatening to consume him. There is a memory of a strange pain he can't place and doesn't understand. There are figures, massive and violent, but he can never see them as more than just brief, vague, unrecognizable or undecipherable glimpses.

He also has a difficult time with trusting enough to open up or get close to others, and to a degree suffers an aversion to touch, especially when it comes to his neck and the scar that circles around it.

Despite all of this, he is incredibly careful with concealing just how deeply his life experiences during and after The Night of Flames has negatively impacted him, and it's not exactly uncommon for him to go without sleep, or to seek somewhere more isolated to sleep at, where his nightmares won't disrupt anyone else.

[yanderes-galore]

Last!

Marvel - 40s Bucky concept

And that’s all! I’m done :)

It's been, what, two years since I saw Captain America: The First Avenger? Let's see what I can do. Compared to his other names, this one is tame.

Yandere! 40s Bucky Barnes Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere-like behavior, Obsessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Mentioned stockholm syndrome, Delusional behavior, Guilt trip mention, References his transformation into Winter Soldier a little, Tame compared to other Yanderes I've written.

- You two most likely met before James/Bucky went to war.

- Meaning he first met you before the whole Hydra issue.

- Bucky is devoted and loyal, along with usually having strong morals.

- He'd be Overprotective, Manipulative, and Obsessive as a Yandere.

- Always wanting to keep you out of harms way.

- With war going on, he has a lot to worry about.

- Keeping a close eye on you and your safety ends up coming off as suffocating even when he doesn't mean it.

- Bucky is protective of you and Steve, but you are a little higher due to being the one he wishes to have a family with in the future.

- Even if you don't want to, so he may even be a little delusional

- One of his goals is to have you always be happy, healthy, and safe by his side.

- A goal he chases frequently.

- He doesn't want anyone near you except Steve, he trusts his buddy just that much.

- Except if Steve accidentally got you hurt, emotionally or an actual injury.

- Then Bucky will give Steve some... stern words.

- Bucky also would be someone to guilt trip you into listening to him.

- "As much as I hate to say it... when I'm fighting out there, listen to Steve. He'll keep you safe. Always think that I'm fighting for you and keep away from trouble. Just until I get back...."

- Bucky wouldn't mind if he caused some stockholm syndrome, too.

- It only encourages his fantasy.

- Yet before he even thinks of kidnapping he'd try to charm you fairly.

- His full Yandere behavior other than manipulative and protective tendencies may not even intensify during this time.

- Once Bucky goes through the brainwashing from Hydra, it most likely only gets worse.

- Compared to his other known names, such as Winter Soldier, he is a pretty tame yet protective Yandere.

- His manipulation into keeping you by his side is the worst of it.

- Bucky believes you'll come around and love him if you know he's fighting for you out in the world...

- No matter how much he changes, he'll still be devote to you, even if you are not the same with him.

- "Don't think of anyone else, okay dear? Keep that heart of yours filled with me...."

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Any tips for showing character development gradually in more subtle ways throughout the story, so that the bigger changes don't feel like they came out of nowhere?

Sure!

Basically, what you need to do is recognize that most people do not change because of one specific incident. They change because lots of little ones slowly chipping away at who they once were.

Say you're writing a portal fantasy story. Your protagonist Bob is in another world with conflicts between two countries he has no prior knowledge or investment in one way or the other. Bob starts in Country A, but someone from Country B shows up and persuades them to go there.

This persuasion works because Bob don't know much about Country A except he just got sent there and is having some cultural whiplash, and this guy from Country B seems cool. Bob's convinced: time to leave Country A because Country A sucks. Then, Various Outside Forces prevent them from going to Country B.

While they wait to get out of there and go to Country B, they learn about weird plants in Country A. They meet people in Country A. They learn about people from Country A who were hurt by Country B. They make a home in Country A with a nice quilt they bought from a weaver who threw in a free bag of cookies. And along the way, your reader also got invested in this tiny little house with weird plants and nice quilts and their friends in Country A.

So when they finally once again have a chance to leave for Country B, they have changed and don't want to, because little things have changed their mind.

Or pick a character who is invested in Their Cause to save humanity. But as they continue on this quest, little things keep happening. People yell at them for trying to clean up water. They give a homeless person a place to stay and wake up the next morning with their entire house robbed clean. Every little thing they do in service of their cause hurts them. Over, and over, and over, they keep getting hurt. Each thing they do that backfires on them, they decide they can't keep doing that anymore so they'll focus their attention elsewhere

So when they decide their cause is a lost one, the reader is willing to buy into that. Why would anyone want to keep doing that anymore? It hasn't been working. They keep getting hurt. Nothing is helping. And thus you have completed this character's Villain Arc.

This works even if some things do question the character's decisions and progression. It doesn't have to be 100% one way or the other. If some things they do work, that can help a reader understand why they haven't changed yet, and it often feels more realistic that way. If Country A isn't perfect, but Bob still loves it, that's okay, and it's still believable.

Basically, you want to a slow "boil a frog" type thing. Little smaller things that they're willing to accept into their worldview that slowly add up over time.

But maybe your character does have a big climactic moment where they change their mind about something. But when that happens, it's because two of their values have come into hard conflict and forced them to re-evaluate one.

So you establish both values beforehand. Maybe they're deeply loyal to a country that picked them up out of poverty and gave them a purpose in life. A home, friends, a family. So when that country asks them to be a soldier and kill someone else, they agree. But then they find this person they're supposed to kill, and it's one of their friends. The friends this country gave them. Do they value their country, for giving them a happy life with plenty of other good things, more, or do they value this friend and the bonds of friendship they were so desperate for even before this country came into this picture, more?

Since you've already established both values, and maybe even established which is more important, when it comes time to make a choice between the two and discard one, the discarding of one value and changing as a person will be part of the character you've already shown.

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 14

The Darkling x Reader

You felt fine after dinner, the food quickly replenishing your dwindled physique, but you didn't go back to work. You took Aleksander's advice and took the rest of the day to rest and take your mind off the countless tasks you had. There was one thing you needed to do though and that was thank Zoya for today.

She didn't have to do any of it, in fact, you believed she hated you from the minute you interrupted Aleksander's meeting. You were told by a servant she was out training Inferni's and so you made your way down to the Etherialki training grounds. She stood there, the image of a goddess. Her dark hair fell down her blue kefta in defined curls, collecting small snowflakes.

There was no indication she'd been involved in a deadly attack a mere 4 hours ago. Saints, I think I have a crush on Zoya. Nevertheless, you walked over to her, calling out her name to grab her attention.

'Deputy, how are you feeling?' She looked worried yet relieved to see you standing in front of her on both of your legs.

'Y/N will do Zoya.'

'Alright then'

'Thank you for today. I don't know what came over me.'

'We all have our moments. Some of us just hide them better' You couldn't tell whether that was a dig at you or not.

'You're an amazing soldier Zoya. I'm very impressed'

'Well I didn't just sleep my way to the top if that's what you're implying.' She turned her addicting gaze away from you, studying the young Infernis.

'I beg your pardon?' You were taken aback.

'How's your leg?' She tried to change the topic but you weren't ready to.

'What do you mean Zoya, spit it out.'

'You know what I mean Y/N.' Why was she avoiding the conversation if she brought it up in the first place?

'Are you and Gener-' Is this another thing he had lied to me about? You vaguely remember thinking the two had been involved when you seen them in the same room but it passed quickly, surely he would have told you, especially if it was with one of his most trusted Grisha? The thought was another painful blow to your gut. They just kept on coming. You couldn't finish your sentence for she already answered it.

'No.'

'Zoya'

'Not anymore... Alina is here now' The strong feisty woman was gone now, in her place was a hurt and rejected woman. You were old enough to see it, you had been her before, hell you were her now. You looked at her striking beauty, thought about her incredible skills, and then stupidly compared yourself to her. If he rejected her, you're next. Your silence must have comforted her more than words could, for she shrugged her shoulders and said

'He keeps saying she's his equal, the day to his night' His equal. That's what Alina said.

'You don't need anyone Zoya. I can promise you you'll amount to great things on your own.' Despite the hurt you felt, you focused on her.

'Well as of right now I'm stuck to skiff trips and when you request me' You eyed her inquisitively 'Our dear General's doings.' she admitted.

'What gave you such an honor' you teased.

'I got into a riff with the precious Sun-Summoner after she vexed me.' She shut her eyes tightly as if trying to forget the memory.

'She doesn't strike me as the vexing type-' Your conversation was quickly interrupted when an Inferni accidentally set alight more than just the mannequin and Zoya scrambled to put it out, scolding the boy in the process.

'I'll leave you to it then'

You walked away, hurt and on the verge of tears. You needed to speak to Aleksander, you were sick of him lying to you but you were even more tired of feeling that severe urge to cry every time you thought about him. You came here to do your job and to show everyone you had your powers under control, yet all you've done so far is the opposite. Saints be damned you would walk away from your position because of a complicated relationship, you were better than that. But you also recognized that if you confronted Aleksander about all of this, he would either have to tell you about his plans for Alina or lie again, and you knew he would lie. It was a vicious cycle, one that wouldn't end. It was heartbreaking knowing that the man who claimed to never stop loving you could lie to you so easily.

You were right to question your trust in him, he never gave you a reason not to.

***

He was sitting at his desk, back turned towards you. You hesitated, the thought of running out the door and locking yourself in your room sounding pretty attractive. Maybe a good cry will fix this.

'Y/N I thought I told you to rest' He spoke calmly, his hand never dropping the pen. You shut the doors, not wanting the guards outside to hear what you were about to say. This made him turn around.

'We need to talk'

He dropped the pen and paper and stood up, indicating he was all ears. You glued your eyes to his knowing your vulnerability peeked through but you didn't care to hide it.

'What are your plans for me, Aleksander?'

He cocked his head to the side, confused. 'What?'

'Why keep me around when Alina is here?'

You were never the jealous kind, but you came to realize this wasn't jealousy. It was disappointment and aching after being away from him for almost a century. You had built up this life in your head, one where everything was perfect and Aleksander hadn't changed but you raised the bar too high. The bad parts of Aleksander faded away with each year and the best parts of him enhanced in your mind. You had forgotten what he was truly like, plus coming to terms with the fact that he lived a seemingly happy life while you were gone stung a bit too. With each day, the disappointment turned into hurt and anger.

'Y/N I already told you, I have a plan.'

'So you expect me to watch you and Alina fawn over each other while I stay in the shadows being a dutiful Second in Command? I may be loyal but I'm not going to blindly follow along Aleksander, not anymore.' It's making me miserable.

His hands reached out for you but you moved away. 'You know I love you Y/N' He said as if the foolish statement would make your worries and anger melt away.

'Then act like it'

'It's not that simple.'

'It never is, is it?' You bitterly laughed. What's the point of loving somebody if you're not willing to do everything to make them stop hurting?

'Why won't you tell me?' Your voice was a whisper he barely registered. 'Do you not trust me? Cause I'll admit it right now, I may love you, but I don't trust you Aleksander.'

Your admission hit him like a pile of bricks. He was brought back to when you first met, your shaking body radiating hostility as you rode in the carriage with him. He tried to assure you you were safe, you were one of his Grisha now, but you were having none of it. You didn't trust anybody for months after you arrived in the Little Palace, especially him and right now, it was all back to square one.

'Have I really given you that many reasons to not trust me?' It had been so long since he had somebody to care for and love that he forgot how to act around you. Perhaps he was back to square one too.

'Yes. Your sly comments about killing the King and finding the stag, your relationship with Alina, even with Zoya- Aleksander you're lying to me every day and you think I'll still be compliant. I'm not the same Y/N you remember.'

'You know what I want Y/N. You've always known'

'I do, but I need to know how you're going to do it all. How can I be supportive when I don't know what the hell is going on around me. A goodnight kiss every now and then won't fix this if you're doing the same to somebody else'

'Is this what this is? Your way of saying I'm fucking my Sun-Summoner on the side?'

'I never said that. All I wanted to know was why I'm not in on the plan that's supposed to give us more power. Is it because I'm a loose cannon, are you scared of what I'll do if I won't agree with you?'

You were sure of one thing; while you were gone nobody dared to disagree with the Darkling and he had grown to get used to it. Power corrupts, resistance humbles.

Somehow you still held your composure, albeit it was difficult. Aleksander however, was losing his temperate demeanor. He was pacing the lengths of the room and his hand had brushed through his hair countless times, the image of someone who was backed into a corner they couldn't get out of.

'I haven't told you because I don't want you to get burned. If it goes wrong it would be good to have some of us not hanged for treason would it not?' Bullshit. He must've forgotten you had the power of a heartrenderer. Aleksander was lying right through his teeth.

'You and I both know that's not true. If history is any indication then they'll turn on all Grisha.'

'And you'll be here to make sure they don't.' He tried to reason but you let out a loud laugh.

'Up until 2 weeks ago you didn't even consider giving me my old post back, do you really expect me to believe you changed your strategy in a matter of days?'

He stayed silent and settled against his desk. His crossed arms showed he was in no mood to discuss any further but you weren't done. He was going to tell you everything whether he liked it or not. You were sick of being kept in the dark. You had your title of Deputy back now, yet you still had no idea what truly went on and had no real sway against the top-ranking Grisha who no doubt were in on the plans. Power corrupts, resistance humbles, and you were done being humbled.

'Aleksander don't make me force it out of you' As soon as the words left your mouth you tried to find some part of you that regretted them but came up empty-handed.

His head whipped around with whiplash speed. You could see the internal battle going on behind his eyes of whether you would actually make do on your threat. You didn't know whether it was empty or whether you actually would do it but it was tempting.

'You said you changed, but I don't think you did' He retorted, eyeing you up and down with a look of displeasure. The situation was a shift from the usual, this time he was the one losing control and spiraling whereas you were the perfect example of a calm before the storm. The Little Witch he had grown to love and worship.

'I'm stronger, I can be stronger. I am limitless' You prided yourself on the restraint you'd shown thus far. You were in a palace full of Grisha, of Healers, a Tailor, a Sun-Summoner yet you didn't make any moves to take anything. The old Y/N wouldn't hesitate to take what wasn't hers. Maybe that's why you would burn out, lose as you gained. This time you knew how to do it properly, how to be an Elemental who yielded it all.

'Your quench for power is contending mine, Sweet Y/N.' For the second time in your life, you saw fear in Aleksander's eyes. He always had a feeling you yearned to have a stronger grasp of the Second-Army and for so long, even now, you tried to lie to yourself and deny it. But deep down some voices always whispered 'it's only right to have a leader who represents them all'.

'Wrong. I already have it, I just need to use it.' You raised your hands slowly, showing him you meant what you said. I'm really doing this. Your heart dropped when his raised too. He's willing to hurt me to protect his lies.

'There's no going back from this' You felt weirdly ready. Although you had never used your Grisha powers against Aleksander in a fight, you had a hefty slice of hope in you that you could overpower him. You had what he had and more.

'Y/N stop this.'

'Why? So that you'll lie to me again? Make me the other woman? It's inevitable that it comes to this' Your heart picked up in speed as your breathing became rapid. The influx of power at your fingertips itched to get out and make itself useful and containing it was painful.

Shadows pooled on the ground and around your feet yet you didn't know who they belonged to. Technically they're all his, I just know how to control them.

Panic shot through you as you felt a tendril of the black nothingness grasp around your wrist. No. You let yourself go, snapping the shackle and mirroring it on him. He had never experienced cruelty at the hands of his own power until now and was completely powerless as the black restraints rendered him useless. You concentrated on his pulse, soothing it to its normal rate then into a slow hum, relaxing his mind. This all felt so wrong yet so right.

'I'm feeling merciful today. When you feel up to it, tell me everything, or else I promise I won't hesitate Aleksander. We're the same in that manner.'

You watched as he gathered himself, anger rising onto his face. His moves were rigid and stiff despite your previous soothing.

'Time is ticking' Before he could say another word, you left the defeated Darkling, instilled with a sudden sense of pride.

______

Part 15

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[heybeybey]

and it was your heart on the line

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Word Count: 8,706

Summary: Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum. Pressured to continue the Ackerman line, Levi is forced to choose between his commitment to giving meaning to his comrades' deaths or sacrificing the future of the woman who have always been devoted to him.

(Anon Ask | AO3 Link)

(It's also Smutty Saturday so here, have smut + ANGST. MOSTLY ANGST THO)

It's been a month since he learned about his true relation to Kenny.

Two weeks since he, Hange and Erwin traced his Ackerman ancestry.

A week since they found out what his last name means and how inhuman his strength truly is.

And two days since he received that fucking memo.

Captain Levi Ackerman,

We were recently made aware of the extent of your capabilities. After much discussion in the court, we believe that you will be doing humanity a great service by continuing the Ackerman line.

We look forward to your cooperation.

A great service his ass.

A few days ago, he, Erwin and Hange found out that the Ackerman line used to be the bodyguards of the royal family in the past and that the reason why they were so skilled is because they are titans in human form. They were then persecuted for shit knows what and the whole clan scattered throughout the walls in the past hundred years.

It also turns out that this ability is accessible to all Ackermans. They haven't found out if it's automatically passed down but Levi noted that there was a time when he felt something jolt in him when faced in a life or death situation (which was almost a daily basis for him back in the Underground).

Now, they want to reinstate the line to help the military progress.

The way Levi sees it, the government basically wants him to breed as if he's a cow in a nobleman's farm.

Levi ignores the memo for the next few days and when they sent a follow up for his reply, he didn't hesitate in telling them to fuck off. That's when things went south.

Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum.

They argued that the captain's citizenship above ground is tethered to his role in the Scouts. Denying this request would be taken as an act of insubordination, no matter how much Erwin forgives the said "offense". Moreover, it's an insult to the crown.

The greedy fucks from the top brass gave him two weeks or he'll be kicked back down to the Underground. Since he's the only known Ackerman, he can't push this responsibility on someone else's plate.

- - -

Only his Special Operations team were made aware of the situation. Erwin said that his squad deserves to know why their captain might be out of commission for at least a week... or why he'd possibly be kicked out of the scouts soon.

Levi silently took in the horror on their faces when he broke the news.

"Captain, are they even allowed to do that?"

"That's just... sick."

"Maybe there's a way to delay it for a few more years, sir?"

The only one who didn't speak up was Petra. She just watched the four men converse, with Levi and Eld discussing what the next steps are in case the captain will be leaving the scouts.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in all of their mouths. Survey Corps without Captain Levi? They can only see their success rates getting knocked down further. At the same time, they also don't know which decision to support, knowing that the captain will be sacrificing himself either way.

- - -

Petra has been spacing out since that day. Sometimes, her squad needed to snap her out of it during trainings. She'd been a total recluse, rarely joining them at the dining table during their morning coffee. She'd still bring the captain's tea late at night but other than that, she looks more like a ghost floating around in their squad's side of the floor. They think it's heartbreak since her admiration for the captain is already an open secret between the five of them. No one would've even imagined what she was planning.

She was able to snap herself out of it two days after, and now she's barging into Commander Erwin's office during lunch time.

"Commander Erwin, there must be another way," Petra pleads. She rarely goes to Erwin's office alone and if she's here right now, the captain must've not been aware that his subordinate would approach this topic straight with the commander.

Erwin sighs. "Ms. Ral, I appreciate your concern for the captain. Believe me, I've personally reached out to Zackley regarding this. There's nothing much I can do. I've already swayed Levi's citizenship to our favor once."

It also doesn't help that the government sees the Scouts as the most useless of all three military branches. Learning about how powerful Levi truly is was the only thing that reignited their belief in their regiment after five consecutive failed expeditions and thousands of coins wasted.

The commander looks at Petra and he can tell from her face that the gears are turning in her head. He frowns, having an inkling of what her next words will be. Erwin knows how loyal Petra is to her captain. It's something that the commander himself leveraged and exploited during expeditions.

"Would... if I do it, will that...?"

Erwin's face softens, meeting her eyes in concern. If they were to ask for his opinion as commander, it would be a waste if they allow Petra to take the responsibility. She's one of the best soldiers in the corps and her ability to sync with any team they place her in was an asset that you wouldn't find in any other soldier.

But as Levi's friend, he'd rather not order the captain around when it comes to this matter. The part of him who's committed to humanity's survival knows what the right answer is to Levi's situation, and he knows the captain will choose what will always be best for his soldiers.

"Petra, you know that Levi wouldn't allow it."

"But does it even matter what we think anymore? Commander, they're going to take the captain away from us."

Erwin is quiet for a moment, careful eyes assessing how serious Petra truly is. "Are you sure about this Petra?"

"You know I'll do anything for our cause." Adamant and unwavering. Levi chose well.

Erwin nods. "I'll talk to Zackley what it will mean if the captain chooses a subordinate instead of a commoner. Normally, sleeping with your commanding officer would lead to a dishonourable discharge."

Petra flinches at that.

"But... we can all agree that this is a different case."

- - -

Petra comes to Levi that night. At first, he just assumed it's their usual evening tea time.

"I-I talked to Commander Erwin this morning," she starts, setting down his tea on the desk. He glances back at her for a moment before turning back to his paperwork.

"What about?" Levi said. "You do know that if you have a concern, you can also tell me. I'm the one responsible for you."

"It's not a concern," she replies quickly. "Well... it is but-"

Her hesitance finally stops him. "Since when have you held back whenever we have tea together, Petra?"

"Captain... I-I can..."

He doesn't turn his chair around, waiting for Petra to speak.

"I'm saying that if it will greatly serve humanity, I'm willing to have-," she gulps, pushing the fear from her face to look at him determinedly. "I'm willing to be the one to help you continue the Ackerman bloodline."

Levi's grateful his back was turned. If it wasn't, Petra would've seen how his slanted eyes widened with horror and concern at her words. He feels a headache starting to come along, and he schools his face before finally turning around, assessing hers. His heart fell when he finds that she somehow looks both determined and scared at the same time.

"No."

Petra deflates a little bit at that, seemingly both relieved and hurt from the rejection.

"Please captain, I don't want you to be forced out of the Survey Corps. The scouts need you. I-" She cuts herself off at that, but her silence was loud. He'd known for a while now the depth of Petra's devotion.

"Petra, are you even aware of what you're offering?"

"Of course I know!" She snaps, so unlike her to disrespect her captain outright. "Captain, I wouldn't have offered myself if I'm not aware of what I'll be giving up."

"Then you're fucking stupid for even wanting to go through with this. We don't even know how many they're demanding from me."

He stands up from his chair and grabs her upper arm in a bruising grip, almost desperate to get his point across. "You'll be forced to leave the Scouts, give up your career to take care of a-"

It's rare for him to be speechless, and he finds that the word baby can't even pass through his mouth these days.

"Sir, I just want to help..." Petra says quietly, gaze averted.

"This is not up for debate Petra." He looks at her coldly. "Leave."

"But captain-" He lets her arm go. Petra's expressive round eyes are starting to tear up.

"I said get out."

He watches her hurry out, trying to ignore the fact that she was furiously wiping her eyes as she leaves.

- - -

They went out for an expedition one morning and Levi was somewhat grateful for the distraction.

Reality only came crashing down on him again when he'd watched another soldier die. He seemed new and young, looking more like a cadet than an actual soldier. Probably fresh out of the training corps but died way too soon because he chose the wrong regiment. If Levi remembers correctly, this was one of the newer scouts who had the guts to approach him with bright and eager eyes and asked for advice.

"What's your name?" Levi asks the soldier. He kneels down beside the younger man.

"E-Ethan, sir," the soldier rasps. Levi silently nods in acknowledgement. He looks up, finding Petra tending to a fatally injured scout. Eld and Gunther was assisting a female veteran who lost a leg. He can't seem to find Oluo anywhere.

"C-Captain..." Ethan struggles with his words and Levi can see how his gaze is starting to lose focus.

"I'll avenge your sacrifice, Ethan." Levi says as he holds the young boy's bloody hand, hearing him take his last breath. "I promise you that."

Levi apologizes to Petra in his own way as they wrap up the expedition. He approaches her as she was about to mount her horse.

"Petra." She looks to him with teary eyes. She does this after every expedition, crying for all the fallen soldiers as her own way of commemorating their sacrifice.

"Yes, sir?" she replies in a gentle voice, as if he didn't just make her cry two nights before.

Levi hands her a white handkerchief. "Here."

She blinks up at him for a bit but accepts his offer. He never says sorry outright, but he and Petra have always had this way of communicating where words aren't needed to be said.

They were running out of time. Levi tried to take his mind off the problem by training until his own body gives up on him. A huge part of him have already accepted that he'll be marched back down to that shithole by the end of the week.

Hell, he already packed up the limited possessions that he has.

"Levi, you know this is for the scouts. Losing you would mean losing a battalion for the Survey Corps," Erwin argued.

"Are you asking me to force a woman to become the government's baby making machine?" Levi snaps. "Because that's sick as fuck Erwin!"

Hange told him once that there was a major decrease in the scouts' death toll since he joined. Levi didn't want to believe at first that a single soldier was enough to make that much of a difference, but Hange's numbers was more than enough proof. Since he joined, they didn't need to send 10 men on a dangerous mission when a single soldier can do all the dirty work and still live.

Erwin pointed out that many would jump at the opportunity to lie with humanity's strongest. Levi just wanted to vomit at the title.

How can something that used to boost his soldiers' morale now turn into a fucked up ultimatum that preyed on his commitment to making his comrades' deaths matter?

He supposes that there are other women. He can even just detach himself from the whole situation after the woman gets pregnant and let her raise the kid.

But Levi has an intimate relationship with abandonment. Of being used and treated as nothing more than just a tool. It was all he knew growing up with gangs in the underground, and eventually in the corps as comrades die and his strength used to the regiment's advantage.

He's not that big of a piece of shit as to use someone and leave a child fatherless until they come of age to become a soldier. If he was going to have a kid, he'd make sure that they at least have a good childhood to compensate for all the shit they'd be pressured in. He'd want to be there every time he leaves the walls—not as a captain commanding his soldier but as a father ensuring his child's safety.

Levi also feels sick at the thought of just bedding anyone. Whenever he thinks of this option, his mind would take him back to a dark closet, deep in the underground, where he'd hide as his mother takes on another client. He'd be no better than the men who he watched come and go from his mother's room in the brothel, leaving her crying and filthy once they're done. It feels as if he'd be disrespecting her memory this way. Spitting on his mother's grave would've been more respectful than this.

The only other option is to drag the woman he'd been secretly throwing longing looks at, so willing and devoted, down with him.

- - -

The night before the government will come knocking on their doors, Petra came to his office again.

"You're up for promotion." This was his last resort.

If she accepts, then he'll be leaving tomorrow for the underground. He doesn't really know which outcome to hope for.

Levi doesn't give her the chance to reply, silently handing her a folder. He wants her to understand the gravity of this situation. Of how much of a double-edged sword her devotion truly is.

"I've already signed it and Erwin's just waiting for you to accept before he approves. We'll be raising your rank, complete with a 25% salary increase. You're still in the Special Ops, but now with the opportunity to command your own team outside of our missions, or whenever Erwin and I see it fit during an expedition. This is a step closer to fully becoming a squad leader two or three years from now."

Petra sighs and shakes her head at that. She didn't even hesitate as she takes away the folder from his hand and sets it down on his office table.

"Please, Captain." Petra pleads, hand moving to delicately hold his. "The scouts need you."

The face of the soldier who died yesterday, (Ethan, he corrects himself) flashes on his mind. Levi's promise to the young man rings phantomly in his ears.

I'll avenge your sacrifice, I promise you that.

Levi surrenders.

- - -

"Captain?" Petra removed the last button of her uniform, her eyes on the floor, leaving her in only her cotton underwear. He watches her while he sits on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in her every move as she shrugs off all her clothing.

"Call me Levi," he corrects her. "Please."

"Levi..." She closes the gap between them, climbing on the bed and reaching out a hand to cup his face to help him relax. Petra gives him a shy smile when he leans closer to her touch, while he settles a hand at the small of her back. She leans forward, kissing his jaw and sliding her hand down to his chest to feel the quick drum of his heartbeat. "It's okay, Levi. I trust you."

Petra settles herself on his lap and gently turns his face up to hers, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. His hands trail up her upper arms and she involuntarily shivered when he cups her cheeks to deepen the kiss. Emboldened by how receptive she is of his touch, Levi trails his mouth from her lips to her cheek, gradually making his way down to her neck.

Petra's eyes are closed, biting on her lower lip. She tangles a hand against his hair to pull him closer, encouraging him further. He feels himself getting hard fast when she aligns the heat of her core against his.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" She asks, testing the waters by grinding down on him. He shakes his head no, tucking a ginger strand of hair behind her ear. The last thing he needs is to feel like this is a casual romp with a stranger. He wants to know it's her.

He runs his hands against her bare thighs before twisting their bodies around so she'd end up laying back on his bed. She gave a quiet huff at the impact, but Levi was quick to lean down and kiss her intensely. He fears he might come faster than they need him to if she continues bucking against him and they need to pace themselves.

Levi plans to worship Petra tonight, because she deserves nothing less. He looks down at her and meets her eyes for a bit before he's trailing down kisses throughout her body. When he's closer to her chest area, Petra removes her bra off for him and his throat goes dry at the sight. She looks up at Levi with half-lidded eyes, guiding his hands to knead her breasts. The captain doesn't waste time, groping then leaning down to swirl his tongue over a nipple before tending to the other.

Petra whimpers with his every touch. When he makes a bold move to slip his hand down her panties, that's when she gives a low moan.

"Is this okay?" he asks quietly and Petra nods. He starts to massage her clit, feeling her core starting to dampen as his strokes become more intentional.

He soon replaces his fingers with this tongue, earning him a keening sound from the woman below him. Levi only pulls away when he's satisfied at how much of a dazed mess Petra is, hands gripping his black hair to stabilize herself. He levels himself again with her and Petra latches her mouth against him, once again grinding her naked pussy against his cock, still clothed in his pants.

They've both lost the initial shyness and hesitation from earlier on, now both driven by their eagerness to push their pleasure further. He's hard by this point, feeling the dampness and heat between her thighs through his clothed lower regions. Petra continues to grind herself against him and Levi gets harder at the thought of how she's fully naked and vulnerable below him. She desperately bucks up against his hips, delicate but scarred hands reaching down to finally start unbuckling his pants.

He allows her to shrug off his pants while he removes his white undershirt, towering over her. Petra watches him take off his top with a primal look in her eyes, sitting up and reaching out to pass her hands against the lines of his firm abdomen. Her eyes flares up at the sight of his cock, hand reaching out to touch before Levi grabs her wrist.

"I won't be able to last long if you do that." He says. Petra understands, opening her legs further instead to allow him in.

He positions himself between her thighs and looks at her one last time, making sure there's no doubt on her face. Petra, being the fucking amazing woman that she is, only nods at him with a small reassuring smile.

Levi grunts at how deliciously tight she is when he finally enters her, while Petra's arms found its way around his back to cling to him. It proves to be a struggle because her wet walls squeezes around him and he finds it hard to pull his head out of the pleasurable haze. He tries to pace himself, giving them both enough time to adjust to the feeling. When he feels Petra's hips slightly bucking up as if to egg him on, that's when he starts to move.

It was heaven and hell at the same time. For a second or two, he'd like to believe that this is a moment built on months of romancing and awkward dates. He lets his mind wander away from what it actually is—a task, a burden placed on his shoulders for an ability he never even asked for. And he dragged the bravest and most capable woman he knows down with him, willing as she may be.

"Harder, Levi," she breathes out on his ear, snapping his head from spiralling down in self-hatred at their situation.

Levi gives into her wishes, bracing himself by leaning down and pulling her hips closer. He starts to work towards an almost bruising pace, wanting to find a good balance between pleasure and pain for her. Her arms are encircled around him, hands running up and down the hard muscles on his back. Levi looks at the way Petra's breasts bounce with every snap of his hips, mesmerized. Her mouth was open in an o-shape, eyes unfocused as she surrenders to the heat of the moment, cheeks flushed, nipples continuously grazing against his chest with every thrust.

"Yes yes yes," she breathlessly chants. "Fuck me, Levi."

He'd dreamed of Petra like this in the past. But as her commanding officer, all he could really do is lock away those depraved thoughts and quietly steam in lust over his ginger subordinate. Being with her right now couldn't even compare to the nights he jacked off to the thought of her.

He can already tell that Petra's close with the way she's clenching him. Her pants are more desperate now and she bites on his shoulder blade as she reaches her own climax, and he eventually feels her hold on him slacken. Tired and pleased, Petra allows her head to fall back on the pillow and takes in his face to watch the emotions passing through his face.

The feel of her wet core clenching around him was more than enough to edge him closer towards his limit. The rhythm of his thrusts starts to stutter, his primal need to reach release urging him forward.

Petra starts moaning again, turned on at his uncontrollable lust. He waits until she eventually comes again, watching her fall tiredly on the bed, before allowing himself to let go.

One thrust, two, and then they tip past the point of no return. Petra makes a low noise once he comes inside her, her hips rising to meet his final thrust. Lost in pleasure, Levi had to grip hard on the bed frame above her to compose himself. Petra holds his gaze—a mix of adoration and desperation—through it all.

They both pant from the thrill of their coupling and Levi finally collapses on Petra. She pulls him close, allowing him to lay his head on her chest.

He didn't even know when he started crying. He only realized it when he felt Petra brushing away the tears silently running down his cheek with her thumb.

What kind of lowlife am I? Here he is, crying like a little shit when he was the one who'll be subjecting her to whatever hell that awaits them in the next few months. Female soldiers are normally allowed maternity leave but since his case is different, the higher ups demanded that at least one parent will see through the child's growth.

Everyone assumes that it wouldn't be the captain.

He didn't have to sacrifice his career and position. He doesn't need to sit around and nurture a living being inside him for almost a year. Petra will be the one who'll be taking the bulk of it all.

You're fucking selfish. You're a coward.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against her skin. He stays where he is, head laid on top of her bare chest and listening to the thump of her heart. Petra was just quiet for awhile, gently running her fingers through his jet-black hair as she stares up at the window and at the night sky.

"Levi... remember when you told us before to choose the choice that we'll regret the least?"

He doesn't answer back, not really knowing what to say at her hushed question.

"I chose this," Petra continues. "Because you going back to the Underground is the consequence that would kill me the most."

She gently tilts his head up so he can meet her eyes, her hand shaking from the barrage of emotion. Petra looks at his face, awe and adoration shining in her amber eyes as she traces a finger against the frown lines between his brows.

"You're a great man, Captain. I've never met someone who cares so much for his soldiers' lives more than you do." Petra continues. "I truly believe that you'll be the one who'll lead us outside these walls."

"I don't deserve you Petra."

She smiles sadly at that. "You have me either way, Levi. I'm here to stay."

- - -

The next nine months were... Well, they didn't even know how to describe it.

They decided to reveal it to their team on the first month of her pregnancy. That led to Eld's fist colliding with Levi's face. The biggest surprise was that the captain allowed his second-in-command to disrespect him in such a way.

"Eld, no!" Petra screamed.

"Captain, you told me before that you recruited Petra for her skills," Eld said. "I didn't know you'd be the type to take advantage of young girls!"

Levi understood where the younger man was coming from, knowing how Eld and Gunther treated Petra like a little sister. Oluo, on the other hand, just watched the exchange with a crestfallen look.

The guys only believed that Levi didn't force her into anything when they saw how Petra fretted over the captain's bruised face the whole afternoon. She'd constantly throw them a glare as she cups an ice pack on Levi's jaw and would constantly follow him around to make sure that he won't get attacked by the three guys. Not that they would even have the guts to attempt it, nor would the captain let it pass the second time around.

Frankly, Levi's grateful that he has a team who looks out for each other, even when they're not beyond the walls. That's one of the reasons why he trusts them. He doesn't know where he stands now as their captain and he knows these turn of events will greatly shift or even damage their squad's dynamics.

As the month comes to a close and with another mission beyond the walls in the works, Erwin pulled Petra out of all expeditions, much to the surprise of the other Scouts. Her role for the next three months were mostly to brief new recruits along with some clerical work before she closes this chapter of her life.

- - -

On the second month, they traveled to Karanese district to finally tell Petra's father. Levi had never met the man before, and the captain was quiet the whole way to her home town. If Petra didn't know better, she'd think that Levi's nervous.

The truth is that all he feels is guilt.

He knocked up the man's daughter and he was her commanding officer. What's worse is that they didn't do it because they were so hopelessly in love. Come to think of it, it would've been better if they chalked it up to them not being able to keep their hands off each other.

He'd be lucky if Petra's father doesn't assume that Levi just turned his daughter into a breeding stock.

"Petra!" The older man greets them. "Captain Levi, it's so nice to finally meet you. Petra told me a lot about you in her letters."

Levi takes a few moments to revel in the warm welcome, thinking that this day would probably end up in more heartbreak because of him.

"Mr. Ral." He accepts the man's handshake.

"Please, come in! I've prepared enough for the three of us. You're not allergic to anything, right captain?"

None of them mentioned just yet what they were there for and Levi was content just to hear Petra chatting excitedly with her father. Mr. Ral seems like a friendly man, and it's no wonder he ended up having a daughter who's such a sweetheart. The atmosphere in the room was light as father and daughter caught up on each other's lives.

Until Petra has to run to the bathroom to vomit.

He saw the rising concern on her father's face as they listen to Petra retching in the bathroom, and that whole five minutes of waiting for her to come back was absolute torture. Levi, for all his bravery when fighting titans, couldn't even meet the older man's eyes.

"Captain Levi, why are you really here?" Mr. Ral cautiously asks him.

The older man's face cracks when he finally learned the true nature of Petra's pregnancy. He couldn't look at Levi after that.

"Captain, I think you should leave." Mr. Ral says, voice cold that he couldn't believe that the warm welcome he received earlier on came from the same man. Levi didn't need to be told twice.

"Dad..."

Levi sighs as he stands up. "Thank you for the food, Mr. Ral."

"Dad, it's not his fault." Petra tries again as Levi moves to the door. "It's my decision. You know how Captain Levi is important to the Survey Corps."

"But why you, Petra?" Mr. Ral snaps. "You know, I was concerned when you told me that you were the only girl in his squad."

"Please, stop." Petra sobs.

"If I'd only known that I really did have a reason to be worried, I would've demanded you to come home."

Levi silently listens to the whole exchange from outside of the room, eyes downcast.

- - -

Petra signed her retirement on the third month. High from the mood swings brought on by the pregnancy, she cried and even hugged the commander. Erwin just awkwardly patted her head and told Petra that it might be best to let go now before Levi slices his hand off.

She also went to Mitras this month, meeting the people who forced Levi into this situation for the first time. Petra was shaking in anger as she walked inside the room, throwing the officials the dirtiest glare she could manage.

Petra didn't even bother to be respectful that whole afternoon as they brief her on what they expect from her, and what can or cannot be public information.

"I used to hope that the child won't inherit your glare but now I'm more scared to imagine if they got Ms. Ral's," Erwin whispered to Levi, watching as Petra backtalks another official.

Levi shrugs. "You haven't seen her when she gets too competitive during trainings."

On the same month, they ended up sleeping together without the goal of furthering the Ackerman bloodline.

They haven't touched each other since the doctor confirmed that Petra's already pregnant. Her every test was recorded and reported to the fuckers back at Mitras and that thought alone was enough to squeeze out the arousal in Levi's body.

Somehow, they found themselves making out in his office on this night.

"Why didn't we do this during our evening tea before?" Levi asked against her neck, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can reach.

Petra laughs, elongating her neck further to give him access. "Gee, captain. I didn't know you wanted to be court-martialled so bad."

She's currently in civilian clothing since her last day with the scouts was yesterday. Her dress was easier to access and he'd long since unbuttoned the first few buttons that covered her breasts.

Fuck it, he thought as he moves away from his office chair and settles more comfortably on the couch, with Petra on his lap. He looks up at her, eyes alight in lust as he takes in her breasts spilling out of her dress, chest heaving and orange hair dishevelled. He hurriedly tries to unzip out of his own clothing, eagerly kissing her as she slides down his cock.

After a whole week of sex a few months ago, Levi thought he's already used to the feel of Petra around him. Egged on by their own baser instincts despite the situation, they fucked every chance they can get and it was the closest Levi had to a break. It would've been a blissful escapade if he didn't know any better, and the guilt would eat him raw every time he ejaculates inside her.

But for some reason, sex with her right now feels different. Still heated and pleasurable, because of course— it's Petra, but something has shifted between them. He feels lighter, freer.

He's careful as he bounces Petra above him, but still careful not to hurt her. Levi worships every part of her that he could reach without breaking away from the pace that they'd set, while Petra pulls against his hair and leaves her own marks on his chiseled skin.

It's the first time they had slept together without feeling as if someone's keeping a close eye on them.

This moment together is theirs.

- - -

They feel the baby move on the fourth month of her pregnancy.

Levi was the one who first felt it when he was laying his head on her lap. He was quietly reading a report while Petra was knitting a few socks when he felt a poke on the side of his head that was cozied up to her belly.

"Okay, stop it woman!" He scolds and sits up, thinking that she was messing with him. Levi pauses when he sees that Petra is tearing up.

"He kicked."

"What?"

"The baby." Levi's face slackens at that, eyes wide with wonder dropping to her tummy. She runs both hands over the skin, stops and smiles, before taking his wrist to place his own hand on one spot.

Sure enough, Levi did feel that faint poke. He lifts his other hand so he can place both on her belly. Emotion overwhelms him and he swallowed to keep himself at bay.

"Hey, kid."

On the fifth month, Levi was able to strong-arm the higher-ups to give him a goddamn house. Petra knows that this thought would continue to amuse her for years.

From what she heard from Erwin, Levi demanded that the child needs a nice place to grow up in. Since his salary wasn't worth shit despite his high rank in the scouts, it still would take him a long time to make a downpayment.

They approved the request and they moved in a few days shy of her sixth month. It was a simple house, complete with two floors and three bedrooms. One room in the first floor while another two above. Petra suggested that maybe the third bedroom can be his office but he refused.

"You're thinking of opening a pastry shop once the kid's here, right? You can use that space."

"Hmm... but that will still take some time." Petra answers, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "Maybe we can use it to store all your brooms and cleaning solutions instead."

They once talked about what Petra plans to do once the child is born. Of course, most of her hours will be spent taking care of the baby but knowing Petra, she's not the type who'd sit around and rely on him for the rest of her life. They're still not sure if she'll be able to rejoin the scouts years from now, even when Levi tried telling her that maybe he can find a way to work around it the top brass' shitty conditions. They decided instead to focus more on what they can control now, and he suggested that he was able to save enough that they can use that as a capital for whatever she wanted to do.

As they were fixing their new house, Petra was also surprised that he was setting up his side on the master's bedroom.

Petra wanted to sleep beside him every night, of course. They've already been doing so since that first time they had sex after her pregnancy was confirmed. But Petra thought that it's just going to be her who will move in because the house was a good two hours away from the barracks, making it a hassle for Levi to go back and forth everyday. Petra tells him that she'd be alright with him only coming home for the weekends if it will save him a 4-hour commute every single day.

Levi brushed off her concerns and proceeded to set up the nursery room instead.

"Will a baby really give a fuck about all these colors?" He crudely asks, looking at all the paint palettes in his hand.

- - -

The sixth month was slightly harder. Petra thinks that it may be because the reality that she's now out of the Survey Corps, the one thing that gave meaning to her life for four years, is settling in on her.

Her closest friends in the scouts would visit her a few times every month. Hange's squad, sometimes accompanied by Nanaba, would drop by and Levi had to control Hange from turning Petra and his child into one of their experiments.

"Aww, Levi. I'm just trying to be a good aunt!"

"By trying to feed Petra one of your shitty concoctions?" He snaps back, taking the bottle with the godforsaken liquid as far away as he can from the mother of his child. Petra has to stop Levi from completely banning Hange from their home after that.

Eld, Oluo and Gunther visit her as much as they can.

"Wow, you look like a ball." Oluo blurts out when he sees Petra, earning him a slap at the back of his head from Gunther.

"Bozado, this is the reason why you still don't have a girlfriend." Eld said, smirking. "The captain has shittier social skills than you and he's now going to be a father. Up your game a bit."

Gunther grunts at Eld's quip, knowing that Oluo would take that differently. "Way to go Eld. As if the cravat's not worse enough."

Their visits make Petra feel as if it's just another morning in the barracks, except she now has a round belly. Gunther always asks about how she's feeling while Oluo would brag that he'd be the greatest uncle the kid will ever have. Eld indulges her in her cravings and always brings a basket of strawberries whenever the three of them visit.

She also learned that Levi never chose another scout to take over her place.

"Captain said that it doesn't really make a difference if he adds another member," Gunther informs Petra. "He screened a few. All of them ran away crying."

Oluo chuckles. "Remember when he screamed at them that they're all useless and would be good as titan shit on the next expedition?"

"Please, we all know he's just comparing all of them to Petra. Man's way too in love with you, Pet." Eld replies and Petra blushes.

"If you're done gossiping about me, you're all free to get your asses out here. It's late." Levi suddenly pipes up from the door. The three men shuts up, salutes and scrambles out after saying their goodbyes to Petra, along with promises to visit whenever they can.

"Welcome back," Petra greets, kissing him on the cheek.

"Did any of them give you trouble?"

"If anything, Oluo will give you more trouble." Petra giggles, having had a conversation with Levi about Oluo's tendency to imitate the captain. "He saw your parenting books by the way. I think he's setting up a budget so he can buy himself some."

Levi groans at that.

Through the months, she'd learned that bright little Nifa was recently selected to be transferred to Hange's team. Nanaba would share stories about her promotion to being second-in-command in Squad Mike. Oluo recently got a pay raise and he enthusiastically boasts that he more than deserved it, but Petra knows he's just overjoyed that it will now be enough to send his younger brother to university. Stories that are worth celebrating and Petra was all too eager to celebrate with all of them.

But when she's alone, she'd sometimes feel that time had stopped for her. She'd realize that this isn't just a simple pregnancy and she's not just on a maternity leave. At times when she really is down in the dumps, she'd bitterly question if the living being inside of her truly is worth calling a bundle of joy.

She'd shake that thought away as fast as it came, of course. She rubs circles around her rounded tummy as if to say a silent sorry to her child for even thinking of such a thing. Petra loves her and Levi's baby with all her heart. She doesn't regret any of it because this baby symbolises that Levi would continue making a difference in the scouts.

Still though, there were moments when Levi would come home and find her asleep with tear tracks on her face, hands clenching on her old green scout uniform.

- - -

She was seven months along when he first admitted that he's in love with her.

Well, he didn't admit it directly.

For someone who can easily throw an insult, Levi's shit at words. He made his love known and he didn't even say it to her.

He said it to her belly instead, and Petra almost died at how adorable it all is.

"Your mom's a handful, you know?" was the first thing Petra heard when consciousness starts to return back to her. Sometimes she'd fall asleep in the early evenings just before Levi comes back home. He'd let himself in on most days so that he won't disturb her slumber.

Hearing Levi talk to the baby wasn't something new for Petra. He started addressing her belly since the first time he felt the kid kick. Sometimes, he'd have (one-sided) conversations with her belly as if Petra wasn't even there. Hell, he was even more talkative to the unborn baby than when he's planning an expedition with their squad.

This was one of those moments.

Petra was about to pipe up and greet him a welcome back when he continued.

"If she wasn't the most reckless and beautiful woman I've ever met, I wouldn't have put up with all that shit she'd pulled." Petra's heart flutters. Levi rarely uses words of affection as his love language. He'd always made his feelings known through late night runs to resupply their strawberries just because she was craving them, or by offering to massage her swollen feet for someone who's a real clean freak.

"Don't tell your mom that I cursed." Levi continues as he settles down on the bed to rub her belly. "She'd have my head."

Levi must've been really tired if he didn't notice that she's already awake. He did mention this morning that Erwin was forcing him to catch up on a lot of paperwork the whole day. Still, Petra kept her eyes closed, wanting to hear what he says next.

"Did you know that there was this time when she broke formation to save a horse from being stepped on by a titan?" Levi said before murmuring to her belly: "I can't believe I'm in love with someone that crazy."

- - -

On the eight month, he proposed to her.

"Levi, you don't have to." She tells him, trying to stop the smile from beaming on her face. Her hand subconsciously goes to her round tummy, as if to share to the little one how his daddy can be so silly sometimes.

"Tch. What makes you think I 'have' to?" Levi says. "I want to. Now, tell me that at least you liked the ring because that cost me three years' worth of budget for our cleaning supplies."

He said it so nonchalantly but Petra can always tell whenever Levi is nervous deep down. She recently learned the truth about his past and she knows that the thought of a child of his being a bastard, the same way that he is, didn't sit right with him.

Petra gives him a peck on the cheek and presented her hand so that he can slide it on her ring finger.

"I love it."

- - -

On her ninth month, Levi requested a paternity leave the week she's due to give birth. It always amazes Petra how someone who seemed so cold can be such a great father before the child was even born.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You won't get behind on work right? You've always been horrible at keeping up with paperwork."

"Don't get too full of yourself," he scoffs. "Just because you're not helping me anymore doesn't mean I can't get them done."

"I also don't trust our neighbours enough to take you to a clean hospital," he later adds.

Petra was excited because this means she gets Levi for a whole week. The last time they got this much time together she was still in the scouts. So she took full advantage of it, demanding that he take her out on a date.

"You won't reject your wonderful, bloated wife, would you?" Petra waddles over to him, asking him with puppy dog eyes.

"God, woman. Are you serious? What if your water broke while we're having dinner?" He snaps back.

"Come onnn. I've been stuck in this house for a week now!" She pouts. "You worry too much, Levi."

"No, I'm just not as reckless as you are." He tells with a hint of fondness in his voice.

- - -

Petra gives birth to a healthy baby boy on the 9th of June, and Levi spent the whole duration of the labor pacing outside her hospital room. His passive face doesn't reveal much since he looks like he was only frowning constantly. On the inside though, he feels his heart lurch every time he hears Petra scream in pain and exertion.

He can't remember how many nurses he'd snapped at. Some of them would even hurry away when he tried approaching them to ask Petra's condition. The head nurse was adamant he stay outside though, telling him that his wife is fine.

Hours later, they finally allowed him in and a nurse handed him a bundle. At first, he was confused because all he wanted to do was rush to his wife who's currently sweaty, tired and asleep on the bed.

It only dawned onto him that what he's holding is his child.

Levi's whole body freezes, and the first thing that came to mind is Kenny.

I'm going to be a shitty father, he thinks, mind spiralling down to the many ways for things to fuck up. I'm going to end up abandoning him and he'll hate me forever.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the baby gave a gentle coo, eyes blinking open to reveal amber orbs. Levi stares down at his child and awkwardly reaches out a finger towards his face. His son immediately latches on to his skin, a tiny palm attempting to encircle around his finger, and Levi can feel a ghost of a smile forming on his face.

"Hi, brat." He sees from the corner of his eye that some of the nurses raise an eyebrow at that. He'd been talking to the kid for months now through Petra's belly and this is when he's speechless?

Petra wakes up to find her husband fighting back sleep on a chair beside her bed. His hands were wrapped protectively around what seems like a bundle of cloth and he's clutching it to his chest.

He snaps out of his drowsy state when he sees her eyes open. "You're awake."

Petra hums. "Is... is that him?"

Levi nods and Petra's eyes light up despite the exhaustion weighing them down. He moves to pass on the baby boy to her, leaving a kiss on her sweaty forehead before he sits back down on the chair. He's not surprised that Petra started tearing up.

"Oh, Levi... he's so beautiful." Petra leans down to pepper kisses on the child's sleeping face. "He looks just like you."

Levi had never felt peace like this for awhile. A sick and sad part of him feared that if he'll blink his eyes closed, all these will disappear once he opens them.

He received a congratulatory letter from Mitras that same evening, forwarded to him by Erwin.

"Who's it from?" Petra asks as she nurses their baby. She's glowing, and even though she's a sweaty mess right now, he can't help but think that this is the most beautiful state he'd seen her in.

"Nothing. Just some report from Eyebrows," Levi answers.

He threw the letter away without even reading. He'd rather not have his mood ruined right now.

- - -

"He's awake?" Levi groggily asks from their bed.

Petra nods, rocking little Theo in her arms. "I'm praying that he won't inherit his father's insomniac habits."

Levi sits up, opening his arms to quietly ask Petra to hand over the baby to him. "Go to sleep Petra. I'll take care of him."

His wife hums as her body hits the bed, cuddling closer to Levi who's currently sitting up against the bed frame. She throws an arm around his waist while he holds their 4-month-old child, attempting to rock him back to sleep. Little Theo's amber eyes just stares up at him, black hair tousled from all his fussing.

"Oi, kid. Let your mom rest." Levi pokes his button nose, earning him a cute little giggle from the baby. "I'm blaming you if she gets all grumpy on me tomorrow."

Petra lightly slaps his abdomen, a small smile on her face while her eyes remain closed.

Once his family settles down, with Petra now asleep and his son's eyes gradually getting drowsier as the minutes pass, he allows himself to drown in his thoughts. Having a son was both a joy and a sorrow at the same time.

Hange always teased him at how much of family man he's become, not expecting that a grumpy recluse like him who's willing to kick the asses of recruits would be so protective of his own little family. His motivation now during each expedition is just to come back as soon as he can to his wife and son.

He sometimes daydreams about leaving it all, packing everything up and leaving their home, his position in the scouts and finding the three of them a safe space to stay away from the military's demands and interests. Little Theo wouldn't end up getting pressured to join the Survey Corps or any other regiment once he comes of age and he and Petra can have another child or even two on their own terms.

For so long, his commitment to the scouts' cause has mostly been tied to the past, wanting to give meaning to his comrades' deaths. This is the first time he looked towards the future. For the first time, he's hopes for something—he hopes for a time when his son wouldn't even be forced to join the military, no matter how decorated the title they would give him. Now, he leaves for expeditions envisioning a future where they can go beyond these stuffy walls, where he can teach Theo how to ride a horse without the intention to prepare him for a mission. It's for a future where he'd teach his son to fight, just because the boy is curious and not because he needs to survive.

He doesn't know what little Theo's future will look like. For now, all Levi can do is protect his family.

[heather1815]

In your fic, what are the generals opinions about one another?

Keaton- He highly disapproves of Patrick and Yuu because they are so young and he believes they are too inexperienced to take on such an important duty as Generals of the Red Army. Patrick grew on Keaton a little with his genuine hard work; though he'd never admit to it, while Yuu became a strong supporter of Keaton's; sort of becoming his right shoulder 'yes, man' guy though Keaton is far from impressed. Keaton and Helene get along most days, but they often tend to bicker and have this sort of friendly rivalry between them over who is in better terms with the Red Leader. The only person Keaton truly admires and approves of is Erica, even if she might terrify him at times.

Erica- She gets along well with all the other Generals. She gets along especially well with Helene and Patrick. Fiercely loyal and devoted to the Red Army cause, she only wants the very best for the organization and she believes in Pat and Hel's capabilities. She has her doubts about Yuu, but she is willing to give him a chance to prove himself and shape up; otherwise she might insist on a immediate replacement to Red Leader. She gets along fine with Keaton. They are both stern, though for different reasons, and are considered intimidating to most of their comrades - but something about Keaton rubs Erica off the wrong way and she would rather have no ties to the old General if she can help it. Too bad her high rank position means spending time with Keaton as much as humanly possible.

Yuu- The youngest and newest General. He became head of engineering and research when his predecessor, General Ivan, was killed by a disastrous lab accident involving one of the Red Army's inventions. Since rising up the rank as General, Yuu strives to earn the respect of his fellow General comrades. Yuu is not impressed by Patrick; irked that someone who joined the Army much later than him made it up to the rank of General sooner than he did. Yuu looks up to Helene's easy-going and friendly nature, wishing he could be as confident as her in his decisions and get along with the others like her. Erica intimidates him to no end and he always feel as though he is being judged by her every second he is in her presence. And Yuu immediately latched on to Keaton to get in the older General's good graces in hopes of gaining favor with the most despised General might get him a better reputation. Yuu doesn't really like Keaton all that much, but if someone so detestable can be a General and not get demoted must be doing something right so Yuu is always by his side taking notes.

Helene- Sassy and smart mouthed, she and Keaton tend to bicker often for the littlest things; mostly blaming each other for minor incoveniences. She loves riling the old General up. They have almost a sibling kind of rivalry. I think that's the best way to describe Helene's relationship with the other Generals. A sibling. Helene always gives Yuu advice on how to improve his performance as a General, even if he may dismiss her at times and pretend he doesn't need her. She thinks he is more than capable of running the Engineering and research department, but he needs to come to his own instead of leeching off of Keaton of all people. Helene didn't like Patrick much at first because she thought he only got the position due to his relationship status with Paul, but overtime she learned to appreciate his hard work and honesty. They both have a talent for reading people emotionally, and they often work together to better improve the lives of the soldiers that come to live on their base. Erica and Helene get along super well, and she prides herself in being one of the few people who can get Erica to crack a smile and break her cool composure.

Patrick- He doesn't like Keaton's negative atitude and thinks he is a bit of a prick, but respects the senior General's experience with his line of work. Patrick doesn't trust Yuu one bit. He gave him a bit of slack at first because Yuu was only starting out as a General and he was even willing to help him if needed, but since Yuu started hanging around Keaton and making indirect jabs at both Pat and Paul, Patrick grew more wary around him. Helene was one of the few Generals who disapproved of Pat's promotion as General at first, but overtime he managed to make an impression on her and they became good friends. Patrick greatly admires Erica and acknowledges that being the head of the U.B.P.D. is not an easy feat, so the fact she remains sturdy and level-headed despite all the b#llsh#t she has to face on a daily basis is impressive in of itself.