#the most random fe ad I’ve ever had

[trackietrac]

HELP WHY ARE THEY WITH WILLNE IT ACTUALLY CAUGHT ME OFF GAURD

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

CRUSHES AND DATES || 1 ||

summary: Jaewon has had a crush on Nia since 6th grade but is too afraid to speak up.

pairing: jung jaewon x black!OC

genre: fluff

word count: 2k

___________________________________________🖊

Jaewon sighed as one of his friends and fellow classmates pressure him yet again to ask Nia, one of the prettiest girls in school, out on a date. Two reasons why he was scared... 1. She was insanely pretty. 2. She doesn't go out with just "anyone". She's only had one boyfriend and that was their freshmen year of high school....They're seniors now. Jaewon heard the guy cheated because she wouldn't have sex him or some shit like that.

He couldn't stop eyeing her. Everything about was beautiful. The way she laughed, smile and talked to people. Jaewon only had a few classes with her and only one of them he say directly beside her, and that was music class. Her voice was heavenly too. She sounded like an angel, even when she came to school sick that one time, she still sounded like the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. She's perfect in his eyes...which is exactly why he's scared, adding onto the more and more reasons.

Jaewon felt like he wasn't anything special. Yeah he had a few tattoos and a couple piercings but what else came after that? He was an anime freak, he was in the chess club in school and everyone called him weird because he was Valedictorian. He was an insane nerd and honors student, never went to a party, function, or anything that involved socializing.

"Kris, It's not that easy." Jaewon mumbled, nibbling on his half finished food. He watched from across the lunch room to see Nia laughing with her group of friends, some were nice some were mean as ever.

"You won't know until you try—Look, you're a good looking guy with a great personality, plus I heard from a little birdie that Nia's been checking you out for the past two weeks." Kris informed, patting Jaewon on the back, who started to choke on his bubble tea.

The subtle information have Jaewon a wee bit of confidence but still not enough to get up and ask her out on a date. So he just sat there, with his head resting in his hand as he watched the love of his life laugh it up with her friends, as he wished it were him making her smile.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the cafeteria, Nia and her friends laughed at a joke she told the small table, before the laughter died down and things got a little serious.

"So when you gonna stop being a pussy and go ask the nerd out?" One of her friends asked, nodding to Jaewon who subtly kept staring their way. Nia gave her friend a small smile and nodded her head.

"I don't know, I really like him, but you know I ain't been in a relationship in a lil minute." She explained, pushing her mushy food away. Her friend rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Why waste your time? He's been crushing on you since 6th fucking grade and we're in high school! He's a fucking wimp!" Another friend spoke up, annoyance etched in her voice.

"If you finna keep that nasty ass attitude you can get the fuck away from my table. Negative Nancy." Nia retorted, causing them friend to roll her eyes and keep her mouth shut, letting the other two continue their conversation.

It was no secret to her friends that Nia was head over heels for Jaewon, but it had only been known around the school for a week or two. She's been crushing on him since their junior year of high school when they had a music project together. She didn't get to see how much of a good person he really was but she saw some aspects of him and it was enough for her to take an interest in him.

"Girl. Shoot yo damn shot!" The encouraging friend exclaimed, as the hell rung. The small group gathered their things and headed to their next class. Nia was a little excited, because she had music after lunch and she sat right next to Jaewon.

Walking into class, Nia sat down in her seat and grabbed her notes from her last time in the class, going over them briefly before she felt a figured beside her. She turned around to see Jaewon shyly sitting down in his seat as he too pulled out his notebook. Nia looked at him for a few seconds before she decided to give small talk. The teacher was always 20-30 minutes late so they had time.

"Hey Jaewon." She spoke lowly, scooting her seat closer to him. He widened his eyes and looked around the classroom to make sure she was talking to him but the class was small and he was the only Jaewon around so ... She was.

"H-Hey Nia." He mumbled, tracing his tattoos, something he did when he got nervous. Nia immediately picked up on that.

"You don't have to be so nervous around me. I don't bite...hard." She smiled, leaning close to him. He yet again widened his eyes and nodded his head. His heart was beating fast as hell right now.

"I don't wanna be rude, but why are you talking to me?" He asked. This felt like some sort of sick joke, and he wasn't finding it funny.

"Because I like you..a lot." She responded boldly, deciding to just sit out her feelings.

Jaewon's heart rate increased with rapid speed. What she joking? This had to be a joke. The girls he's been pining after... for years, just told him that she likes him.

"W-what?" He asked, not knowing what to say. She laughed and gave his flushed cheek a kiss.

"You're adorable and an amazing person." She complimented, doodling on her paper.

"A-am I amazing enough for you to go on a date with me this weekend?" He asked, testing his luck. Friday was the perfect day for them to go on a date, they didn't have school because of teachers work day or some shit like that.

Nia smiled, and nodded her head, ignoring the fact that on the inside she was bursting with happiness and butterflies. Jaewon let out a breathe of relief before he nodded his head and smiled at her.

Soon the teacher came in and the two didn't bother to even pay attention, too focused on each other.

{after school}

"I did it!" Jaewon yelled, running into his friend, who stood beside his car waiting for him. Kris gave him a proud smile as his friend excitedly unlocked the car door and hopped in the drivers side.

"So you finally had the balls to ask her." Kris acknowledged, feeling like a proud father. Jaewon nodded his head and started the car, immediately pulling out the of the drive way and going to his house since it was closer.

"Well, she admitted to me that she liked me! Then that's when I asked her out! Then we exchanged numbers!" He replied, speeding down the road. Kris gave his friend a shocked expression but nodded his head in approval.

"See, you did all that procrastinating and self doubting yourself. Only to find out she likes you too. Match made in heaven. Black girl and asian guy BOOM!" Kris rambled, making his shy friend blush, as he pulled into the driveway.

The two got out of the car and walked to the door...well Kris walked to the door, Jaewon ran like his life depended on it. He hiked upstairs and hurriedly opened his MacBook. Soon Kris came in and plopped down on the bed, immediately taking a nap, not even caring that he wasn't in his room. Jaewon started to begin his homework until he had a sudden facetime call. His heart dropped at who was calling.

Nia💞💍 would like to facetime...

He pressed the green button and was welcomed with the beautiful face of the girl he’s been in love with for nearly his entire life. She gave him a smile.

"Hey, I was doing homework and I thought about you so I decided to call." She spoke, writing on what Jaewon guesses was paper. "I hope you don't mind,"

Jaewon shook his head and gave her a smile, "Oh no, not at all, I was just getting started on my homework."

The next few hours the two spoke over the phone, exchanging more laughs and smiles before it was eventually time for her to get off. Nia hung up the phone. Jaewon sighed lovingly and smiled...again.

{Friday}

When Friday rolled around, Jaewon felt knots in his stomach. The entire week of school he had been sitting with her at lunch, walking her to class, giving her subtle kisses on her cheek, and at home they stayed on the phone all night until they both saw each other's faces at school. Jaewon hadn't felt this happy in a long time, and he hoped it lasted forever.

"Jaewon pay attention to me." Nia whined as the two were cuddled up in lunch. She was almost sitting in his lap because of how close they were and both her legs were in between his.

Jaewon laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "You're really needy today."

"Ever since I've been seen with you, all these girls keep trying to talk to you. You're mine." She grumbled, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulling him into her chest. Jaewon sighed blissfully, he felt like he was in pure heaven right now.

She noticed a change in his appearance too. He changed his hairstyle a little bit. He started to wear short sleeves more. He was becoming more confident around her...and it scared her a little because with good looks and confidence, comes girls.

Jaewon was about to respond to what she said but a random female came up to him. He ignored her and continued to eat but Nia didn't, she mugged the girl as she sat directly in Jaewon's lap, slightly catching him off guard but went with it anyway and wrapped his arms around her waist as he continued to eat his food.

"Hey Jaewon, you busy today?" The girl asked, tilting her head at the handsome senior. He gave her a blank face and nodded his head, tightening his grip on Nia's waist.

Nia didn't say anything, she took off her earrings, then her necklace, then her jordans, then she tied her hair up in a lie pony tail. Jaewon widened his eyes and held onto her harder, already knowing what she was about to do.

"Bitch you better be glad he holding me down. Disrespectful hoe, you gone try to talk to him when you see me sitting in his lap? Get the fuck away from us before I fuck yo ass up." Nia growled. The girl rolled her eyes and walked away, mumbling whatever under her breathe. After the girl was far enough away she sighed and slumped in his lap.

"Nia I would never let a female get in between us. You can trust me," He reassured, resting his head on her shoulder, giving it a shirt kiss.

From around them, people were whispering and pointing but they paid no mind. The continued to be in their own world.

{Time skip after school cus i'm lazy}

"Where we going?" Nia asked as the two headed to Jaewon's car right after school. He gave her a smile and shook his head.

"It's a surprise."

Almost an four hours later, when Jae said their date was a surprise, Nia wasn't expecting them to be pulling into an abandoned house covered in graffiti. She didn't know where they were until realization struck her.

"Oh hell no I know damn well you didn't take me to the Yeongdeok Ghost House!" Nia exclaimed in horror.

"W-well yeah. I thought it'd be a cool first date." He spoke, suddenly becoming shy again. Nia sighed as she tried to sympathize with him.

"Can we get food after?" She asked, Jaewon smiled and nodded his head as they walked towards the entrance.

[we-are-inevitable]

modern art // javid (ch. 1)

A/N: hi !! so some of you may remember an old songfic i did in march of last year, titled ‘modern art’ after the song “IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23. well, i’ve always thought that that one shot would work great as a stand alone fic, and here we are! i have ch. 1 edited and SO MUCH of it as changed- like, for example, the fic is a chapter fic now !! regardless, i hope you guys like this !!

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, past addiction, mentions of addiction, just general Bad Times- pls be mindful when reading !! it’s just very Not Happy rn ADDITIONAL INFO: all characters are in their mid-twenties in the fic. oh also this is probably important but it’s a soulmate au !!

Read On AO3!

tag list: @bound-for-santa-fe @wannabecowboypunk @shippingcannons @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @smallsies @deliciouspeachpirate @newsies-is-my-erster 

Jack doesn't know what’s going on with himself, but he knows that he could really use his soulmate right about now.

They’ve communicated before. Never verbally, and never enough to reveal who they were. Perhaps they are both just... dealing with some unspoken fears, dealing with the worry of rejection sitting heavy in their chests. Perhaps they both like this mystery- the uncertainty that came with the notes scrawled across their bodies in a handwriting that isn’t their own.

Or perhaps they just aren’t ready to take the plunge. To grow up and face the harsh fact that, as soon as they meet, wherever and whenever that may be, a new chapter of their life will unfold. Consume them. Change anything and everything they’ve ever known or held dear.

They had been braver when they were children, that much was true. Jack remembers staying up late often, writing notes on his skin and watching in awe as the replies appeared. He remembers the giddy rush of trying to quickly wash off the ink on his wrist when they ran out of space to talk, and, oh, how they talked. There were school days when Jack would go to class exhausted, feeling like he’d been walking through quicksand for miles on end, but all of it had been worth it. The exhaustion he felt had been worth being able to talk to them until two, three, four in the morning. Sometimes he regretted it, of course, but only because it was harder for him to focus in class. Never because he was upset at them.

He could never be upset with them.

Even now, Jack remembers a lot about his soulmate. They liked music. They knew how to play the piano. They were into a few video games, even some that Jack had never played, and said that they always tried carrying a book with them wherever they went. Jack remembers that, as a younger kid, they liked Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but also liked analyzing Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and a bunch of other fancy authors that Jack had never even heard of. They were intimidatingly smart, and sometimes, would carefully correct Jack’s grammar whenever he misspelled a word or something- but they were never mean about it, they were just… there. A steady presence that he could count on.

Fifteen year old Jack dreamed of finding them one day. But now, twenty-five year old Jack is losing hope.

He can’t exactly help it. For starters, he and his soulmate haven’t communicated in… well, shit, it had to be nearly a year. Maybe nine months or so, but there’s no way to tell for sure, and even then, their conversations since reaching adulthood have been dull, for lack of a better word. A few positive comments here, a ‘have a good day’ there- it’s all so mundane, and neither of them can be blamed for it. They both have busy lives- or, well, Jack does, at least. His job as a graphic designer is hard enough on its own, but the added pressure of doing freelance work and commissions on the side has been eating away at him for weeks, coupled with debilitating self-doubt and lack of motivation for… anything.

Saying that he’s overwhelmed is the understatement of the century.

There is always another design, another client, another meeting, another deadline, another sleepless night as he stares at a blank canvas and prays for a spark of inspiration from whatever God is listening. Usually his inspiration comes from the world around him- his friends, city life, even the quiet confines of his apartment, but right now... Jack is stuck. He had holed himself up in his room days ago, trying and failing to get out of bed every morning when the time came to work- and thank God that the majority of his work could be done from home. His boss was understanding, too, to an extent.

Still, though, there’s a constant heavy weight on his chest that prevents him from moving most days, and he’s lucky if he even gets up long enough to shower or eat or do literally anything aside from lie in silence and count the cracks in his ceiling.

Nothing had happened to him recently to bring this on, from what he can tell. Jack has always been the happy-go-lucky leader, the man with a plan, the guy who always knew just what to say to motivate others into doing the best thing for themselves, but when that responsibility is reflected back onto himself, Jack feels helpless. There are words waiting to be said, sketches waiting to be drawn, designs waiting to be sent to clients… yet Jack lies there, motionless in his room for three days before he even has the energy, the willpower, to pull back his curtains and allow the sunlight to shine through. There is so much he wants to do, so much he needs to do, but he can't bring himself to do any of it.

In all twenty-five years of his life, through all of the things he’s been through, the ups and downs and foster homes and graduations and birthdays and funerals and therapists and rehab facilities and whatever the fuck else life decided to throw at him, Jack has never felt so worthless, so… lonely. His closest friends are all moving on with their lives. Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for.

All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust.

No one told him when to flip the switch.

No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.

Now, they would never say it, but Jack knows. He knows. Saturday hangouts and trips to the bar had been replaced by Sunday church services and playdates for the kids. Rather than hearing yelling from his living room after his friends had all been teetering just on the edge between tipsy and fucked up, Jack hears the news, and documentaries, and podcasts, and the ghosts of a past life that he still seemed to be desperately clinging on to.

Katherine had been the one to tell him that he needed to grow up, though she didn’t put it in such a blunt manner. No, she’s just.... gently urging him to find a bigger apartment, or buy matching furniture from a place that is not a thrift store, or purchase dishes that weren’t of the plastic Walmart brand. She says it was because she wants to see him in a more professional, "adulty" lifestyle, but he knows it’s really because she can see that he’s a mess.

Deep down, Jack knows she’s right. She’s always right.

He just can’t help but feel cemented in place, dreaming of the past while dreading the new future ahead of him.

Jack never asked to feel so broken for no reason. All of the hope and optimism he had felt as a teenager was gone, lost in a sea of uncertain plans and shitty jobs and bill extensions and canvases dropped onto the floor with no rhyme or reason. And, yes, maybe Jack would look dramatic to someone who didn’t know his situation, but Jack knows what dramatic feels like. Dramatic feels like watching his best friend, Charlie, belt onstage in front of a backdrop that he helped create for the school play. Dramatic feels like laughing at the top of his lungs while walking through a random gas station at two in the morning, joined by Race and Al, all while higher than a kite. Dramatic feels like driving to the outskirts of the city with Katherine, climbing onto the roof of an old building and screaming about all of their stress, their anxiety, their insecurities, just to have some form of emotional release.

Dramatic doesn’t feel like sadness. It’s not supposed to.

Not for Jack.

He had been so… so happy, as a teenager. Proud and defiant and carefree. He was the kind of guy to skate and smoke weed in Central Park until midnight and take a math test at eight in the morning the next day. He was the kid who stood on a table in the cafeteria and came out as bisexual to everyone around him, just because of a dumbass bet that he didn’t even get paid for. He was the boy who wasn’t at all good in an academic sense, but who always knew how to talk himself out of trouble, who always came up with the most ridiculous- or most believable- lies to cover his ass when he needed it, who was always the class favorite, the teacher’s pet without meaning to be.

Jack had felt on top of the world back then, but now he’s struggling to even get off of the ground. The longer time goes on, the more lost Jack feels inside his own life. He feels like something was missing, something big. Something bigger than himself.

When his mother was alive, which now felt like lifetimes ago, she would often echo this old wives’ tale about how it’s best to find your soulmate while you’re younger, just to save them- and yourself- the pain of being alone for a long time. Jack had always kind of believed her; logically, he knew it was true, but he had always told himself that it wouldn’t happen to him. That he would be fine alone, though it wouldn’t be ideal, and that he would have plenty of time for soulmates after he got out and made a name for himself.

He’s starting to think, though, that maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had waited too long to make a move, to make contact again, because now, he just feels nauseous even thinking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he knows the negative effects of self deprecation and not taking his own mental health seriously, he’s been to rehab before, blah, blah, blah, but, fuck, how could he put his soulmate through something like this? This fucked up state of mind he has now. Jack can’t even imagine talking to Katherine about this, and Katherine had been his best friend for over a decade. He can’t just meet his soulmate now- it’s been too long, he’s too messed up, they won’t like him, they’ll hate him for not trying hard enough, and Jack will just end up alone again, wasting away in his bedroom because no one fucking cares. No one cares. He has nobody.

That’s not true. He has Medda, his mom, his savior, his impulse control, but the thought of telling her that everything is acting up again makes him want to scream. He has Tony, but Tony has Al, and Tony and Al have a kid- a sweet little five year old girl who calls Jack ‘Uncle Jackie’ and takes no shit from anyone. He has Katherine, but Katherine has her soulmate- this dude named Darcy, who Jack doesn’t have much of an opinion on because they just met, like, a month ago, and Jack hasn’t exactly been emotionally ready for a hangout session between the three of them. He also has Charlie, and Charlie has certainly seen him in worse times- like when Jack was kind of hooked on pills for the entirety their freshman year of college- but Charlie has grad school to worry about and Charlie would hate him if he bothered him with this.

Still, there are other people who would listen, probably. He could easily talk to Elmer, or Romeo, or Specs, or Jojo or Finch or Sean or a fucking therapist but that’s just it, isn’t it? If he talks, he burdens, and Jack Francisco Kelly would rather run himself into the ground than be a burden anyone.

So, he makes a vow.

He makes eye contact with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s gripping onto the sink, holding on for dear life, as he stares into his own sunken eyes. He takes in his appearance. Damp, messy hair, falling down to cover his forehead. Pale skin, which isn’t normal at all. Dark circles have taken their place around his eyes, and his smile- one of his favorite things about himself- is… nonexistent.

Distantly, Jack registers himself dumping a full bottle of ibuprofen into the sink. And then, he does the same thing with the bottle of melatonin from his medicine cabinet. The valium follows. He lets the water run for a long time. It's not that he doesn't trust himself- he'd done so, so good in rehab, and he doesn't even feel urges that often anymore- but it's better safe than sorry, especially since he's like... this.

This is not the Jack Kelly he’s used to anymore. This is not the Jack Kelly he wants to be.

But this Jack Kelly is the one who vows not to reach out. The one who vows to only answer when his soulmate is ready, and maybe not even then.

He doesn’t have to wait long, though.

Not when a heart appears on the back of his hand the next morning.

It’s there when Jack wakes up, and, honestly, it almost brings Jack to tears- but not necessarily for happy reasons. Sure, Jack wants to be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy after seeing something like this? A lopsided heart drawn in red ink, right on the back of his left hand- it was the definition of a symbol, of a romantic gesture, and Jack wants so badly to write back, to strike up conversation, to draw a goddamn heart, but… he can’t.

He can’t, and that’s horrible of him, and he knows it.

Right now, though… Jack can’t even work up the courage, the energy, to call his mom.

His soulmate, whoever they are, is going to have to wait.

[imitheous]

Long Drive | Graves & Miranda | Part 2

After four more hours on the road that, frankly, felt like an eternity, Graves pulled into the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel, somewhere in the middle of Virginia. He cut the stereo and jostled Miranda with his elbow. "Hope you're hungry," he said as his stomach loudly growled. Quickly taking the keys out of the ignition, he threw the door open so he could get out and have a much-needed stretch. "It's lunchtime, let's go." He closed his door and after making sure Miranda was following him, headed up the steps and into the kitschy storefront that served as the entrance to the restaurant.

Since waking up from her nap, the drive over had been full of the Hermes siblings scream singing along to various playlists, as well as Graves chattering her ear off about everything he just had to show her while they were in town.  The closer they got to Myrtle beach, the more Miranda found herself getting excited to see all those things her brother was raving about, though she didn't voice it, instead opting to roll her eyes with a smile on her face.  As Loretta pulled into the parking lot, Miranda wasted no time in getting her bag and sliding her flip flops back on, hopping out of the truck before Graves finished his stretch.  "Thank gods, that breakfast sandwich was not as filling as I wanted it to be.  I need actual food, not that gross egg crap that place was selling." Following his lead, Miranda found herself distracted with all the random stuff laying around, having never been to a restaurant like this before.  Having to be practically dragged towards the dining area by Graves, she quickly looked over the smaller knick knacks, already knowing she was most likely walking out with another bracelet or two to add to her collection.  "I'm confused, I thought we were in Virginia.  Why do I feel like I'm in the deep south somewhere?"

"Gods, yeah. Rest stop food is garbage." He held up two fingers to the hostess when he was prompted, and trailed behind her after corralling Miranda from the shop. When she placed menus on the table and told them a server would be at their table shortly, Graves thanked the hostess and slid into a seat. He chuckled at his sister's question. "Because we're at Cracker Barrel, Monty. Some folks may prefer it's full name: Cracker Barrel Old Country Store. It's the gateway to the southern states, and a road trip staple. Y'never been here before?" He asked, even though he could see the answer in Miranda's face and grinned. "You're in for a treat." He shook out his hands, still stiff from clutching the steering wheel for hours; under the table, his left leg had started to bounce uncontrollably - an outlet for all the nervous energy he was feeling. He glanced at the menu, already knowing what he was going to order.

Miranda didn't even bother looking at her brother at his question, knowing the dumb grin that was on his face just by the sound of his voice.  "Oh yeah, the LA girl whose only lived in major cities? I'm a huge Cracker Barrel fan, how'd you guess?" Her own voice dripped with sarcasm, though her eyes lifted from the menu to flicker around their environment.  The rocking chairs, fireplace, and random items strewn throughout the dining area only seemed to support both their claims.  "It's a type of vibe, that's for sure." She joked, eyes going back to scan the menu.

Graves drummed his fingers on the table in time with the bouncing of his leg. "That's perfect," he joked right back with her. "Makes the Cracker Barrel gift card I got you for Christmas even better."  A waitress showed up to the table, wearing a floral apron that reminded Graves of curtains and it took all he had not to laugh as he ordered chicken and waffles with extra bacon on the side. He passed his menu to Miranda so she could stack them up. "Oh, and can I get a coffee? That'd be swell. Thank you, ma'am." He smiled brightly at the waitress, laying his accent on a little thicker than normal, already sure his sister would poke fun at him for it after she ordered.

Hearing Graves, she gave an exaggerated fist pump in response, but the waitress walked over before she could sass back.  At the sight of the atrocious apron the girl was wearing, Miranda quickly raised her menu to cover her face, a terrible attempt at trying to hide her amusement.  Her amusement only grew when she heard how heavy he was laying on the accent, rolling her eyes before collecting herself enough to lower her menu again.  "Shit, please make that two coffees." Quickly rattling off her own order, she closed the menu with a small clap as the pages slapped together, stacking it on top of Graves' for her to take.  Her eyes followed the waitress as she walked away, turning to give him a look of disbelief when she was far enough away.  "What. The fuck is she wearing? I've seen fucking lampshades that are hotter than that get up."

He had made the mistake of taking a large gulp of water as Miranda relayed her order to the waitress and now, as she compared the other woman's get-up to a lampshade, Graves immediately regretted that gulp. Sputtering, he shook his head, trying not to do a spit take. "A lampshade, " he wheezed, thumping his chest with his hand to offset the water that hand gone down the wrong pipe. Accent still heavy, he added, "That's the ugliest damn lampshade I ever did see ." Graves gestures around the room; all the servers were similarly outfitted in ugly aprons. "I think it looks like it belongs on an old lady's couch. Like, that's some good ol' couch fabric right there." Though he was laughing, his fingers continued to drum the table and he scanned the restaurant nervously.

While she had expected him to laugh at her comment, Miranda didn't account for the fact that he would take a drink right before she began to speak.  Not being able to hide the snort as he wheezed, she just watched with a raised eyebrow as he tried to get himself back to normal.  "You good?" She finally asked, but clearly he was fine as he continued speaking.  Glancing around the room, she realized that indeed everyone was wearing the same apron and shuddered.  "Gods, I've never been happier that I don't work in the food business."  Turning back around, she finally turned her full attention to her brother since they walked in.  She hadn't thought much of the tapping when it had first started, but mixed with the nerves she could see bubbling out of him, the humor drained out of her as she leaned towards him. "Everything okay? You look like you're waiting for someone to come tackle you through the table or some shit."

"Oh yeah, it's the worst. I can't picture you as a waitress. Someone would be rude to you and you'd threaten them in a beat." Graves quipped, distracted as their waitress returned to pour them cups of coffee and place down a small bowl of creamers. When she walked away, he immediately dumped several packets of sugar into his mug and began stacking the unopened creamers into a shaky pyramid. At Miranda's comment, he cracked a smile. "Yeah, no, yeah. Everythin's fine. Just a lot of bottled up energy after drivin', y'know?" He lied,  clutching his coffee mug and attempting to calm his jittery demeanor.

“Oh totally. I’m not putting up with that shit.” Miranda straightened herself when their waitress came back, flashing a charming smile of her own as she delivered their coffee. While Graves started jabbering again, she busied herself with making her own coffee, snagging a creamer from his makeshift tower. Indulging herself with a sip - which was mediocre at best, though she wasn’t expecting much, she swallowed before calling him out.  “I don’t understand why you even bother lying to me anymore. You know that I can tell easier than like...anyone else back at camp.”

"Hey!" Graves protested, both to her accusation and to the creamer theft. Adding another creamer to replace the one Miranda had taken, he shrugged one shoulder at his sister. He wrapped his fingers around his mug of coffee, focusing on the pleasant clink of his rings against the ceramic as he clutched it. He shrugged again, "Everything's fine, Monty. I don't keep secrets from you." Quick as he'd told the lie, he accidentally bit the inside of his cheek and a metallic taste filled his mouth. Instant karma, he thought as he took a sip of coffee and wrinkled his nose, not meeting Miranda's eyes.

The additional lies were met with a dead pan stare.  "Yeah, normally you don't, for this reason."  She took another slow sip from her mug.  "You fucking suck at it, Gravy."   Letting out a quiet sigh, she placed the mug back down before leaning forward again.  "Look, it's fine if you don't wanna tell me, I'm not your mom or whatever.  You're just totally killing the vibe right now, you're about to shake the entire table if you keep bouncing like that." She knew that Graves knew her just as well as she knew him, and that he would see this as her way of trying to move past the topic for his sake.

He took another sip from his mug and forced his leg to stop bouncing, before smiling sheepishly at his sister. "Nothin' food won't fix though, eh?" At her mention of 'mom,'  his eyes lit up and he pulled his phone from his pocket, texting Cass an update on their progress. While Graves was preoccupied with his message, the waitress returned with their food, placing their meals on the table. "Thank you ma'am!" He called belatedly, finishing with his phone as she walked away. His stomach was churning even as he looked at Miranda, holding his fork up in a mock salute. “C'mon, dig in."

Miranda watched him immediately get absorbed into his phone and rolled her eyes, half un-surprised and half in disbelief.  Leaning back against her chair once again, she just went back to her coffee.  When the food arrived, she put her nearly empty cup back on the table, gave the waitress another signature Hermes child smile, then turned her attention to her sandwich.  Looking back up at Graves when he spoke, she raised a fry along with him before taking a bite.

A few minute passed and the siblings dug into their respective meals; to Graves, his food was tasteless, the weight of the conversation he wanted to have with his sister taking a toll on his taste buds. It took another mouthful of syrup-covered waffle that tasted like dust for him to set his fork down and take a drink of water. Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. "Um, actually...I have something I've been meaning to tell you."

On the opposite, Miranda was enjoying her food, not drinking as much water as her brother. She occasionally glanced up at him, only to see him looking more and more shitty as time went on. While debating how to bring up the question of her taking over the drive, he finally spoke up. Miranda lowered her sandwich, and took a long sip of water before responding. “Oh really? I had no idea.” She said sarcastically before growing more serious to match him. “You look you’re walking into a firing squad, what’s up?”

Graves ducked his head, a sheepish smile breaking through the worried expression he had been wearing. "How do I say this..." He muttered, before finally settling on, "My family isn't really...normal?"

Miranda blinked once, slowly, then again as she processed what Graves just said to her. After minute, she snorted into her cup before taking another sip. Placing it back on the table, she shook her head, clearly amused. Her eyes glanced quickly before leaning in and lowering her voice. “We’re fucking children of a god? None of us are normal, Cabrón.”

"Okay, fair. We're a bunch of weirdo demigods," he let out a laugh, realizing how little he had thought this conversation through despite all the stressing over it he had done. "But like...so is my gran?"

Miranda’s hand paused with her cup halfway to her mouth, and her face clearly showed how much that last statement confused her. “Your grandmother...?” Her hand lowered, the cup making a loud noise as it connected to the table, but Miranda didn’t even notice thanks to her brain spinning. “But...okay.  How does that work? Like, for you I mean?” Another blink, it was clear she realized how little sense her questions made, but wasn’t sure what exactly she was trying to say.

With a pained smile on his face as her cup clattered to the table, Graves nodded slowly. He was silent for a moment, giving Miranda a moment to sort out her thoughts. "Uh," he cleared his throat, twisting one of his rings. "It's...I'm...uh, huh. Let me start again? Do you know what a legacy is?" He looked a his sister hopefully, still fidgeting with his ring. It was one half of the set he always wore, this one emblazoned with a finely etched cornucopia, while the other bore the symbol of a spoked wheel.

Her eyebrows furrowed at the word legacy, her brain trying to place it.  She vaguely registered the term, having heard it around camp in the past, though she wasn't quite sure what it meant.  "I've heard of that before? But what the fuck does it mean?" Even though she asked the question, her brain was starting to put two and two together, especially when her eyes drifted to the ring Graves couldn't stop messing with.  Miranda always assumed that Graves had received as some kind of gift or reward for something in past, not thinking too much about the symbol of Tyche that was engraved into the stone.  Her eyes began to flicker between the ring and her brother's face, starting to put two and two together.

"It's like...when you're descended from a god, but that god isn't your parent - if that makes sense?" Graves looked at Miranda hopefully, watching the gears turn in her mind as she looked at his ring. "So, like, if I had a kid," he made a face at the idea, pushing onto his explanation, "they'd be a legacy of Hermes. Not a full demigod, but, still not fully mortal. That's what my mom is...and me, I guess, but it's a little different for me? Since Hermes is also my dad...I, uh, I feel like I'm doin' a shit job explainin' this." He paused, lifting his mug to take a drink of coffee and grimacing at the now-cold liquid.

Miranda immediately shook her head when he criticized his explanation, though the words were lagging about a minute behind as her head wrapped around it a bit more. “No, I kinda get what you’re saying...I think.” Normally, her response would be way more sarcastic at her brothers expense, but her brain wasn’t functioning properly at the moment. For a moment she thought about Spencer, as the term legacy was starting to latch to a separate conversation she had with the unclaimed girl, though she never really asked for an explanation of what it meant back then. “Yeah, I think I get it.”

The coffee cup clinked as he set it down a little too close to his spoon. Graves cringed a little, looking back up at Miranda. He shrugged one shoulder and began fiddling with the creamers on the table again; his nerves, as always, manifesting into more energy than he knew what to do with. Without looking up, he blurted out, "It's Tyche." Graves cleared his throat, his expression sheepish as he looked at his sister, though at this point, he assumed she had figured it out. "I'm a legacy of Tyche."

The clanging of the cup made Miranda cringe a little, the two siblings reacting to the noise at the same time. Silence stretched between them as she watched him fiddle with the creamer cups, still sorting through the last lingering confusion in her brain. As Graves blurted out what she was already piecing together, she nodded. “Yeah, the rings make a ton of sense now. I always thought they were a reward gift or something like that.” Her eyes lifted from the creamer up to his, and hers narrowed slightly in curiosity. “What does that do for you though? Like, do you have any other abilities or...?”

"Nah, they were my gran's. She gave them to me a few years back. Before college," he explained, making a face. The monster attack that had both ended his college career and led to his arrival at camp seeped into the front of his mind; he pushed it away, putting the creamers down and picking up his fork to stab at his food instead. Slowly, a small smile worked its way across his face. Graves nodded. "I do, yeah. Y'know, I wasn't kiddin' all the times I said I was lucky. I don't fully know how it works but I've got some tychokinesis, just like the Tyche kids at camp."

Miranda thought for another minute, flipping through all the times Graves had said he was pretty lucky. The frequency of those words made her roll her eyes. “You’re such a shithead, no wonder you haven’t ended up behind bars yet.” She smirked at him, but then realized how long he’s kept this secret from her and frowned. “Does anyone else know?”

Graves let out a laugh at Miranda's eye roll. "Luck has nothing to do with it, I'm just that good," he joked. As she frowned, he chewed his lip, reluctant to answer the question. "A couple people. But I wanted to tell you first, swear. It just...didn't happen that way." He began to list them, drumming his fingers on the table again, "The first person to find out was that Athena girl I fought at Fight Night? Ramona? One of her powers is ability sensin' and that caught me off guard. So I told Blue too, since we were fightin' her together and it might've helped us win. And then...I told Tai. I was drunk and braggin' and it was stupid." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere other than Miranda. "I think that's it? I don't know. I wanted to tell you first but...my family told me to keep it a secret because of some old history that I don't really know about but the cat's out of the bag now, I guess."

The frown on her face only deepened as the list of people to know before her started to grow.  There was a flash of something that ran through her - maybe hurt for him waiting as long as he had? She wasn't sure.  Regardless, the reasoning for Ramona and Blue finding out was sound to her, especially the prior.  As for Tai...well, she always knew her brother was dumb, double that when he was drunk.  She let out a small sigh, looking down at her plate, picking up and twirling a fry in her hand, eating it was the last thing on her mind.  "No yeah, you can't do anything against people with specific ass powers. Power sensing? Who comes up with this shit?"

He watched her fiddle with a french fry and almost sighed. Graves had hoped that spilling his secret to Miranda would have taken the weight off his shoulders but no, it was still there. He rolled his shoulders back, instinctively, the motion blending into a shrug at the question. "Honestly, that's some OP shit. You get strategy and the ability to know what fuckin' powers someone might throw at you? And we get....lock-pickin' and criminal tendencies?" He joked, flicking his eyes upward, "Thanks Dad." It was as if he couldn't bear to sit still, as Graves picked up a sugar packet and began to shake it, giving his hands something to occupy themselves with. He looked at Miranda again, "I'm sorry Monty, I wanted to tell you before anyone else found out."

Despite herself, Miranda couldn't help but laugh at his joke.  "Yeah really, what the fuck, Dad? But also, thanks for the coffee? That's pretty sweet."  Her eyes raised again when he started shaking the packet, then up to his face when he apologized. She let out a sigh of her own, dropping the fry back onto her plate.  "Why are you sorry?  It wasn't your idea to start telling people."

"Fair point, I'll take iced coffee any day." Graves exhaled a laugh through his nose. "I know, but I figured if I was going to start tellin' people, I'd start with you. And then it was a little out of my control. I think," he laughed dryly. "That I built it up in my head and it was this huge fuckin' deal. I don't know. My gran told me to be careful who I told but...it doesn't seem like it's that crazy? The more I think about it, I don't know, man."

Miranda’s features softened at his explanation attempt, and reached a hand out to grab the one still fiddling with the sugar packets. She gave his two quick squeezes, a smile growing on her face as she did. When they started speaking through hand squeezes, she couldn’t fully remember, but it was something that never failed to calm the two siblings when their minds got ahead of them too much. Hopefully it had the same effect now. “It’s okay, Cam. Thank you for wanting to tell me first though.”

The last shreds of Graves' worry faded away as Miranda squeezed his hand. He repeated the gesture, matching her smile; her reassurance had been what he needed. He nodded, "Of course, hermana. You know I tell you everything." Graves ducked his head, hiding his smile. When he looked up, his eyes glinted. "Do you want anything else to eat? Or...do you want to go raid the store for some shit? I think I have a coupon in here somewhere..." He fished his wallet out of his pocket, pretending to look through it for a minute before brandishing a scrap of paper and passing it to Miranda. "Oh here it is, see? It says children of Hermes get that good good five-finger discount."

Miranda held onto her brother's hand a little longer as he spoke, her smile becoming a bit more genuine at his words.  However as usual with their relationship, it instantly changed to one of amusement as she dropped his hand to accept the paper he handed her across the table.  "Oh, nice manito.  No expiration date, I think this ones a keeper." She joked, pretending to read the paper as she spoke.

Stuffing one last fry in her mouth, she stood up, refolding the paper and tucked it into her own pocket.  Pulling her wallet out of her bag, she dropped a random amount of 20s onto the counter - even she was above dining and dashing.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go explore whatever the fuck that gift shop is."

[steph-writing]

The Dawn of Our New World - ClaudexF!Byleth

AO3 link

I never wrote for FE3H before, or any FE tbh, but I recently finished the Golde Deer route romancing the shit out of Claude and the ending left me desperate for some closure on their reunion. So here’s just a lil’ something I’ll prob want to redo in the morning because I love him so fucking much ugh

It’s Claude’s POV, with F!Byleth, and I hope I fucking got him right because he’s too perfect for me to fuck it up. This is super self indulgent so like yeah this is it mate, read under the cut.

*Fear the deer*

It’s been almost a year. Almost a whole year since I’ve seen her, heard her, held her. I’m still not sure how this whole Gods thing work, but this absence must have been some sort of divine punishment.

I know I had to leave, there was still work to be done, but it didn’t make it any easier if we’re being honest here.

It takes all of me to keep my game face on as we march towards Derdriu. It’s so close I can already hear the battle cries, the metallic scent of blood invades our nostrils, smoke coming out of nearby buildings and woods.

As we reach the border of the city, I raise Failnaught and with the Amyran battle cry bursting first from my lunges and soon to be followed by all of my army, I shoot an arrow, piercing some random enemy soldier from those who slither in the dark on the neck.

And thus, our battle begins.

My soldiers storm ahead, spreading out to help the few remaining troops from the Kingdom to achieve victory.

But I… I freeze for a second.

The scene before me is a bloodbath, composed mostly by fallen Kingdom soldiers, and it terrifies me.

I can see the remaining army is still perfectly positioned in a way to try and minimize losses, blocking the enemies’ access to the residential area to, most likely, give the civilians time to escape.

Yet, it’s not enough. Good strategy can only get you so far when the enemy outnumbers you by so much.

The intel I had over the past months told me Byleth was focusing on restoring peace, rebuilding towns and villages, reforming the Church. She didn’t- no, couldn’t have focused on the military as well. It would be suicide, and I was too far away to help her with my schemes.

She did well. She was succeeding. She was being the Queen I knew she would be.

The thought that she could be among the corpses laying on the ground below me was…

No.

I can’t go there.

She’s not dead.

She can’t be.

Snapping out of my daze, I dash ahead with my wyvern, desperately trying to find her among the still standing soldiers, refusing to let my eyes wander to the poor bastards that gave their lives to protect their freedom, refusing to look for her among them.

After mere minutes that felt like hours of searching, I see it.

That red glow from the Sword of the Creator glowing behind a building to my left.

Everything else fades when I overfly the building and look down at the battle going on next to it.

I had my spies give me constant updates on her, sure, but nothing prepared me for this moment, I don’t think nothing could’ve.

The same pale green hair just a bit longer, the same pale skin, the same delicate features laced with determination.

But she no longer looks like Teach, like the friend who walked by my side during the war.

She looks like a Queen.

Her face is fierce, determined to protect her people and their freedom, even if it costs her life. That adorable fool.

It’s not her face that grabs my attention though. Nor the blood splattered all over her, nor the way she seems to be favoring her right leg due to some wound I can’t see from up here, nor the pile of enemies laying dead by her feet.

It’s her eyes. I can see she’s putting up a strong front, trying to come up with some ingenious strategy now that she saw the Almyrans fighting by their side.

But she can’t fool me. I learned to decipher her puzzling expressions a long time ago, and I will never forget how to read her.

She’s afraid.

And that’s not something I can accept.

Blood boils in my veins when I see a shadow lurking behind her, waiting for the right moment to strike while the rebel in front of her robs her attention.

They take a step, and I shoot.

The gurgling sound the man in the shadows makes as he dies from my arrow makes her attention falter, wide eyes turning back to the sound giving the soldier in front of her the opening he needed to strike.

But I’m faster.

In but a moment his body is added to the ones already laying about, my wyvern never failing me as it struck him swiftly with his claws while also flying close enough to allow me to grab Byleth and pull her up with me.

“Wha-“

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, friend.”

I cut her short, holding her tight against my chest as I fly us to a safer place.

She’s filthy from dirt, blood and mud from the battle, but I don’t care.

The tightness on my chest seems to slowly soothe as I hug her closer and closer, burying my face on her hair and taking in her scent. Because under all the battle remnants, she still smells unmistakably like Byleth.

From up close I can see all the cuts and wounds she has, but before I can even catch my breath to say something clever, her trembling hands lay on my chest, her head slowly lifting to look at me.

She doesn’t look like a master strategist. She doesn’t look like the leader of a free nation. She doesn’t look like my old Teach.

“Claude… You came back.”

Her eyes glisten with tears I had only seen her shed a handful of times, and the small smile that tugs at her soft and plump lips, stretching a thin cut she seems to have gotten during this fight, could light up a whole world.

She looks like a Goddess. My Goddess.

“I told you I would.”

“Took you long enough.”

“What, did you miss me that much?”

I can’t help but chuckle as she glares at me, ready to snap back. I just don’t give her the chance to do it, leaning in to steal a swift kiss from her.

“We’re in a battlefield, what are you-”

“I missed you. I love you.” I want to do so much more than kiss you. “And it’s about damn time we see the dawn of our new world together. So, what do you say?”

I ask despite my true wish to whisk her away and never let anything hurt her again, handing her back her sword, just as we overfly a small group of enemies trying to escape our armies.

With renewed determination in her eyes, she nods once, grabbing the hilt of her sword and turning around to have enough room to freely yield it as we, together, cut down the final strings holding back the dawn of our new world.

“And Claude…” She turns to look at me over her shoulder. “I love you too.”

[dxfiedfxte-a]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Meme.

Mun & Muse

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:  Stolen from: @niflheimqueen​​ tagging:  @pinkheartedfool​, @divinesilverlove​ @delusorydetective​ @rock-you-like-a-hurricxne​ @foolishwinds​ @chibitantei​ @apocalypsxmaidxn​ @mcmcntomorii​​ and everyone else who hasn’t yet! You have been tagged! 

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES? / NO.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (Have you seen his charm!! PLUS HE’S A RANDOM FOODAHOLIC DORK X3 and be weirdly cute in his own way :3  If you don’t believe me. wait until he Reveals His Right Eye)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK.  (Here’s the thing with that. It really depends if someone likes him as an MC. I’m sure their are probably others out there who may prefer Yu Narukami as a better Protag, or Akira the new P5 protag. So it depends on the person. But for the most part, I’d like to think he’s pretty well widely enough known in the fandom as the P3 Blue-Emo-Jesus who saved the world x3)

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. (In terms of having his own personality, maybe a little bit? Since he’s only been able to express his own personality in the few spin off games we got for P3. Yu has been able too more, but for a while he wasn’t able to until Persona Q(P4 Side) and until the movie and now Dancing In Moonlight as well as Persona Q 2. But his personality in the P3 Manga if definitely underrated in my opinion, not too many people talk about the Manga)

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG./

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. (In my AU Main verse, he’s a famous Paranormal Investigator with his own show, so yes in my AU verse. Tho popularity level depends on verse, Main verse its his first season and he only just blew up. In my P5 Verse its 5 years after P4AU so he would be in his 4th season by then and only then be widely known)

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (As a Paranormal Investigator, all his successful cases have gave him a very good rep within the Ghost Hunting community, it was thanks to his credibility how he was able ro get a 

tv contract deal. In P3 he has a great rep with his friends as their reliable leader and friend, but a not so good rep at school too many dates.. xD nice one Minato  )

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —  (Because I started to RP Minato when there’s wasn’t much games where he didn’t have his personality shown yet(2015)   I based him off more from the Manga’s interpretation of him, But now canon wise in terms of Personality, I still tend to use mostly his Manga personality, but now I’ve added a few small tidd-bits of how he is in the movie and how he is depicted in both PQ’s as well as Dancing In Moonlight.)

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting 

in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —    (Oh boy here we go. Minato is a food loving and very random dork who tends to be quiet and stoic 88% of the time, but he’s very kind, he always puts his friends before himself, he tries his very best to be the best leader he can possibly be and he is an all around easy person to get along with, just expect him to zone out here and there, to sometimes be very weird, VERY random. And expect him to randomly start snacking a lot x3 )

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).                      (He can sometimes have a tendency to overthink things waaayyyy too much and if it’s really eating at him a lot, it will permanently plague the back of his mind. He can sometimes be lazy, but its a habit he’s trying to break. If he’s really super hungry, he will gorge and when he gorges, his tables manners are absolutely terrible XD )

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —  (I guess it was how I saw him when   I read the Manga. I played P3 FES first, then after beating it, I wanted to read the manga as soon as I found out about it. I also think it was the fact he dies and seeing how his friends grew up without him, it made me really want to see what it would be like if he survived, I guess I felt his death at the end of the game was just a real shame, I suppose I thought he would have been a great character to bring back in future Persona games, I understand the reason for his death and I have nothing against it. It was just that thought I had of “Man Minato could have been so much more if he survived” that drove me to pick him up )

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —  (Well, I’ve been in the Persona fandom for 5 years now. Before when I came back, I wasn’t getting many rp’s. But ever since I came back and found an active Fuuka(MinaFuu is a ship I rarely got to rp) so that started it back up, and then it was seeing all these familiar faces(Or blogs in this case xD) come back, my motivation has been through the roof. So I guess the revival of the fandom and the wonderful people of the Persona community has fueled my fire and it keeps on burning for more!)

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (I think so, I’ve Rp’d him for 5 years now, I’d like to think I know him inside and out?)

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (When the motivation or idea’s are there then yeah I totally do)

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO (I definitely do, not as many as I’d like to tho, but when the idea comes to mind that you just can’t express in an rp with someone else, then its best in drabble form.)

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO           (I’m a very musical person myself just like Minato so every time I jam I do and I’m always jammin ;3)

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF?

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. (In the beginning I wasn’t, but I kept at it and eventually I built up enough confidence to really make him soar. The thing with Minato is since Persona protags are silent and the game lets you make up his personality. But since I incorporate him more from the Manga I try to really channel that version of him. I’ve had a few people tell me they like my portrayal. So I must be doing something right?)

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA. (tbh I’m more sensitive when it comes to my friends or family. Most times I’m pretty level headed when it comes to myself, nowadyas anyway.)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —  (For the most part yes and I don’t usually let any negativity get to me.  But if someone doesn’t like my portrayal for some reason then you’re welcome to unfollow me. Maybe I’m not the Minato for you then?)

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — (DEF I love any questions I get so please def ask me stuff if you are curious.)

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — (Yes, just so I can get a better idea of the flaws it may have, then I can better construct it if I see it as a valid reason for possibly not working. If I don’t see any problem with it then it’s still staying )

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  (If my portrayal doesn’t fit your idea of Minato then perhaps I’m not the Minato for you and the unfollow button is always there. No harm done really. )

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — (Hey man, just don’t try and kill my vibe by cutting down my muse right in front of me and we’re good. Of course there is always the unfollow button. ) 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —  (Totally, I make quite a few sometimes, if it ever bothers you, please let me know kindly and I’ll have no problem fixing it, But if it doesn’t bug ya the we good. )

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — (I like to think so, I used to be pretty shy on here, but after 5 years on here I’m chill with pretty much everything. ) 

[thezolblade]

Ship Meme! Tagged by @the-cryptographer​ ~

1) Ultimate Otps:

Which of them have ‘ultimate’ qualities...? GS Isaac/Alex would be kind of an ‘ultimate power’ ship, if they got a plot with twists and turns and character development and reasons to cooperate. I’d expect that more from fic than canon - so many other canons have lots of epic slow burn adventure fics for hero/villain-or-antivillain ships. But so far in GS, for those two, I’ve mostly found (good) crackfic, or non-shippy ‘they fight to the death and Isaac wins and marries Mia’  stuff that doesn’t treat them with even as much nuance as the canon.

Not that I mind mudshipping - my ultimate GS polyship would be something like Isaac/Mia/Felix/Alex(/Veriti/The Ice Queen), with interesting dynamics between every two characters in that set of four (and Mia/Veriti), even with some of the bonds possibly being platonic. Though when I’ve written long plotfic it’s very easily gotten platonic/ambivalent/angsty bc it tends so much towards drama, and conflict may drive plots (hence its abundance in plotbunnies), but I find it hard to headcanon characters getting past hurts and grudges very easily; I want to see them make the effort, but it feels like they’d need a lot of time and personal growth to get there, and I might not even figure how well they do until I’m almost 100K words in. And in some very angsty verses there’s no chance. I want to read other people’s adventure fic too, with fun ideas that manage heel-face turns or antihero plots in a slightly lighter way...

PMMM Madoka/Homura is another ‘ultimate power’ ship, if they can get to a point where Godoka and Homucifer can deal with each other as equals again, both with full knowledge of everything that’s happened and the resolve to truly save themselves, each other, and the rest of the universe. :o

Utena/Anthy is quite an ‘ultimate reality’ ship, when they find their revolution.

2) A ship you’ll always 💜??

The Harvest Moon fan in me is going ‘purple heart? that’s not a very high level of affection??’ ...but taking it as an emoji for ‘love’... without repeating anything above, pokemon Green/Red is always nostalgic (gameverse Ash/Gary, the names get a little confusing as there are localisation differences and I like the old manga and anime too but haven’t watched/read anything recent in those canons).

GS Imilshipping, too, in fic verses where they had a close bond. FE Lucia/Ilyana, I wish they had epilogue content after their support, still mean to write out a plotbunny for them sometime. Soren/Ike, of course, and Tibarn/Reyson.

ToS Lloyd/Colette/Sheena/Zelos, again with strong bonds between all of the pairs in that foursome. They did so much to help each other find hope by striving to save and trust each other, creating a new kind of salvation together.

Skies of Arcadia Fina/Aika/Vyse, Vyse/Ramirez, and Ramirez/Galcian. Never found much fanstuff for it, but it caught the imagination.

3) Current obsessions??

Lots of MadoHomu vibes after getting a oneshot written for them. Confident!Madoka makes both of them happy when they’re not dying; it’s a shame she doesn’t get much screentime as her confident and cheerful self, since so much of her time as a magical girl passes offscreen. Even while she was more unsure during the series, she demonstrated her desire to protect her friends, and Homura commented time and time again on her kindness - she loves her for it, and when she discourages it anyway, it’s because she’s come to believe that it’ll be the death of her. If they were truly safe, they could support each other so well - it could be a world away from the desperation that marked the end of Rebellion, when neither of them are at all okay. :s

Also getting quite into darkfic plotbunnies, and I know ‘darkship’ is a term in some cases for character dynamics fulfilling their worst potential, descending into violence and destruction that at least one character Does Not Want, but in the verses of those plotbunnies I guess they still fit the label of antiships better than ships.

4) A ship you never thought you’d like??

Uh, a lot of the stuff on the gs kink meme caught me by surprise, when rarepairs got suggested and the fills or plotbunnies got interesting - Alex/Ivan, Eoleo/Rief, Alex/Amiti (in a BAD IDEA way). And on lj/tumblr, Mia/Sheba was pleasant surprise too. Not that I ever had any preconceptions about disliking ships, they just hadn’t occurred to me.

In FF7, I don’t think I expected to see compelling Cloud/Seph or Zack/Seph at first, all those years ago, but I quickly found that there are a lot of good AUs and darkfic. Especially when they’re alongside other good ships like Cloud/Zack, Aerith/Zack, Aerith/Cloud, Aerith/Tifa, Tifa/Cloud etc.

5) A ship you used to like but don’t anymore:

Uh idk exactly. I used to read a lot of Buffy fic by ship to find characters whose dynamics were interesting in the show, but iirc I ended up skimming any content that was really ‘shippy’ to get to the plot and jokes and emotional bonding over real stuff, not random physical attraction, and nowadays I don’t think I’d bother skimming so much stuff just bc I hoped it’d be interesting and wanted to keep giving it a chance.

6) A ship that should be canon??

Well some that are very strongly implied but not explicitly stated feel like ‘yep that’s canon’ but could maybe use some more in-universe and author confirmation when not everyone seems to agree - Ike/Soren, Utena/Anthy in some versions of canon, etc.

7) A canon ship you hate???

I like to hate the way darkships go sometimes, but that’s what makes them an interesting story, going ‘noo’ about characters’ bad decisions, though that usually only works if they had better potential that they’re falling short of, not necessarily in a romantic sense... Can’t think of many cases where that happens in canon. Uh I think most explicitly canon relationships are either one option among many routes (and I get tired of support grinding), or I’m a bit indifferent, or if I dislike how it’s done I’d still start playing devil’s advocate and wondering how it could have been done differently if I spend any time considering it.

Oh in FE Awakening I kinda hated how Virion’s flirting in the main plot cutscenes was creepy and painted him as a bad joke, but his supports are much better and some of them are great - how do you explain liking his ships when he has such a bad start (and such bad English voice acting)? I also hated the way the player character’s support options didn’t all show up until endgame, so I missed them the first time and had to replay and wait until then to support grind, and then it all got repetitive grinding the same dlc maps so many times over just for such short supports, and the endgame marriage candidates that were most interesting (bc how the hell could the game make that work, with a head of state or a former enemy??) ended up with really rushed and unconvincing relationship development, and the child recruitment maps were hellishly difficult at that point in the endgame, and all in all it got a bit un-fun and not worth the effort. :/

8) A ship you shipped for years??

Most of the above. Also stuff like Saiyuki Sanzo/Goku, GS Alex/Felix or /Saturos, Jenna/Sheba, Karis/Sveta, Pokemon Misty/Erika, FE Florina/Lyndis, and, uh, probably stuff that I’m forgetting right now.

9) A ship everyone 😍 but you don’t care for?

...Was there anything? Some of the cliche stuff bugs me, but I’d usually think ‘what about writing the dynamic this way and maybe adding poly?’

10) Favorite rare pair???

Mm what's rare? Any gs Alex!ships at this point...

Edit: I forgot to tag anyone, so. If meme time sounds like fun, @sazandorable, @meganekkomeguca, @droory, or anyone who feels like it?

[roxannarambles]

heath/legault drabble - flowers

They had left the ground covered in blood. Blood spilled from allies, from enemies, and from former friends they were now forced to turn against. The bodies of the fallen were scattered, twisted and broken in the dirt.

Bern once meant home to him. After this, he doubted it ever could again.

After the battle, there was no time to even pause. They were hunted people in the middle of a hostile land, and so they marched; exhausted, battered, bruised and bloodied. The injured were treated on the road as best as they were able. They did not even stop to take meals, instead opting for a few stolen gulps of water from a canteen.

Seeking to avoid all major towns and pass through undetected, their journey took them over wide, uncultivated fields in the Bern lowlands that bordered some of the smaller villages. The soil was acidic and dry, but great swaths of hardy, low-growing shrubs absolutely coated the landscape. The shrubs were dotted with hundreds of tiny little lavender flowers, which turned the fields a hazy purple, the air hanging thick with a sweet, gentle scent.

Legault gazed out across it all in a bit of a daze, thinking it seemed incredibly jarring and bizarre to be surrounded by such pleasantness after the sort of day they'd had. Every time he closed his eyes, he could still see the fields of dust and death, but when he opened his eyes-- just the peaceful lull of spring and all these flowers.

Heaths, his mind supplied. They were walking through Bern's heathlands. Legault glanced to his left, at the stony-faced wyvern rider some paces behind him that was leading his mount by its reins.

For a moment, Legault considered slowing his pace to let the man catch up and then making some comment to him about his namesake, but he decided against it. The wyvern rider looked as though he was worn down to the very quick. Legault hadn't been the only one today who was forced to turn weapons on former colleagues and friends.

He felt a pang of empathy, wishing he could do more. To let him know that in the very least, he understood that sort of pain. But every time he had reached out to Heath, the man had only drawn back. He doubted that would change now. So Legault turned his sights back to the purple fields, simply giving a small sigh.

It was a mercy when they finally stopped for the day. Even though they'd planned to continue marching in a few short hours, any sort of rest was met with open arms.

Legault spent the time pushing through the crowd around their supply caravans, accepting the rations that were doled out and eating stale bread and chipped beef. It wasn't enjoyable by any stretch of the imagination, but his neglected body was still grateful for the nourishment. He felt a lot better afterward, eventually heading away from the noisy group around the supply wagons and wandering sort of aimlessly past the few tents that had been put up. They were still in the middle of the heathlands, and sometimes a drunken bumblebee would bump past his face, on an urgent mission of pollination.

On the outer edges of their makeshift camp, he spotted Heath, back propped against a support beam for one of the tents, arms crossed and tucked tight about himself. He was dozing in the shade the tent cast, his face relaxed and finally free from the harsh strain it had been under all day.

Legault couldn't help but obey the compulsion to draw closer, and soon he was standing over the man, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest, a little errant green strand of hair fluttering slightly under his breath. He just looked so different this way. It wasn't just that he finally looked peaceful for a change; Legault could notice the very soft creases around his mouth and eyes that denoted smile lines.

Heath was a man who smiled frequently, once. Laughed, even. Legault wondered what that had been like.

He suddenly realized how heavy his limbs felt. The weight of the day was catching up to him, and watching Heath dozing in the shade was making him feel tired himself.

He knew the man would be irritated if he woke and found him there, but Legault plunked down on the ground in the shade beside Heath anyway. Absent-mindedly, his fingers fiddled with a sprig of flowers from one of the nearby bushes. He gazed off into nothingness for a while in contemplation, before eventually bringing his focus back to the little flowers in his hand. He glanced to Heath and smiled a little at a silly, random notion.

Because Legault became so absorbed in his new activity for quite some time, almost slipping into a meditative state, he was startled when a voice eventually interrupted him.

"Legault? Come on, you're just sitting there?"

He glanced up-- it was the Ostian spy, Matthew, dragging along a crate far too large for someone of his strength. The man let the crate sink down and he frowned, adding,

"What . . . what are you doing?"

Legault shrugged a little, admiring his own handiwork. He pulled another piece off of the nearby bush and plucked another tiny heath blossom off, carefully sticking it into Heath's hair. It joined the many others, the wyvern rider's hair filled with dozens of the little purple flowers at that point.

"Decorating the cranky wyvern man?"

Matthew didn't look too amused.

"Uh-huh. So why am I working my butt off like some chump while you're just picking daisies?"

"They're not daisies, Matthew. And you'd have to tell me that."

His new companion sat down heavily on the crate he'd been dragging.

"Good question. I guess it's break time."

"There you go."

Legault picked another flower and nestled it into one of Heath's white locks of hair, then repeated the procedure. Matthew watched for about a minute before speaking again.

"Seriously, though, don't you have anything better to do? We leave in just a little while."

"Shh. You're going to wake him."

"Oh, Matthew, there you are! Hector's been looking for you."

Matthew looked on in horror as Serra approached, her pigtails bouncing as she bounded up.

"What? I've been gone for like two minutes. This isn't fair. I want a break."

"Hi, Legault! Don't complain to me, Matthew. I'm just the messenger. I wouldn't even need to run around all about looking for you if you were doing your job."

Matthew glared.

"Oh, I'm sorry, who's the one dragging around crates full of anvils? Yeah, that would be me!"

Legault winced at their volume.

"You guys--"

It was already too late, though; Heath stirred in his sleep and blinked awake, looking in a foggy confusion at the people gathered around him. Everyone was silent a moment and Heath frowned.

"What . . . why is everyone looking at me."

Serra giggled.

"Looking very nice, Heath."

Matthew hopped to his feet.

"Uhh, we were just leaving. Serra, help me with this."

"What?! These hands are for healing, not lifting!!"

Matthew waved at her.

"These hands aren't for lifting either! Just get one corner, ok?"

Serra made a sound of disgust, but she bent and gave a half-hearted attempt at grabbing a corner of the crate.

"I can't believe you're making a lady lift, Matthew!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a horrible person. You're not even lifting anything. Put your back into it."

The pair made for a terribly noisy and slow exit, half-dragging, half-carrying the crate away, Serra complaining bitterly all the while. For a little while, Legault and Heath just watched them go; at some point, Heath stretched against the tent pole he was propped against. He spoke in a voice still a little roughed with sleep.

"So why are you still here?"

Legault smiled languidly at him, not put off by the man's usual acerbic nature.

"I ask myself that every day."

Heath grunted, looking annoyed, but before he could say anything else rude, he was interrupted by a yawn. It sort of deflated the effectiveness of the scowl he then aimed at Legault.

His sleep-tousled hair being completely filled with little purple flowers removed a lot of the scowl's effectiveness too, of course. Legault smirked.

"Now, there's no need to be cross with me. I tried to get them to be quiet, you know. I know the value of letting a fellow sleep."

Heath seemed to process this and his irritated look softened just a little. He rubbed his face and mumbled tiredly,

"Do you know how long until we move again?"

One of the tiny flowers was jarred loose from Heath's motion and it drifted gently down in front of him to the ground. He blinked at it. Legault answered,

"About an hour, I believe. I could wake you when it's time, if you'd like."

Heath shook his head.

"No, I won't be--"

He paused as a tiny shower of flowers went flying from his hair. Puzzled, he reached up and brushed at his head.

"Aw, wait, you're going to ruin it!"

Heath brushed more of the flowers out and glanced to Legault, confused.

"Ruin what? What did you do to me?"

"At least-- here, admire it a little before you destroy it, hmm?"

He took the shield resting on the ground that Heath normally wore at his side, flipped it over to its underside, and handed it to Heath.

Heath peered at his reflection in the metal and said shrilly,

"Legault! Wh-why?!"

Legault opened his mouth to answer the man glaring at him, but then he just sighed. He smiled a little, though his eyes were melancholy. After a contemplative moment, he finally answered.

"You just looked so content. I wished it could last, I suppose."

The wyvern rider continued to look at him, but all of his irritation seemed to slowly bleed out. Legault watched the man's eyes, which seemed to glaze over in thought. He couldn't tell what he was thinking, quite honestly. Virtually everything about Heath was still a mystery to him.

Then the man's hand shot out and grabbed Legault's wrist. Legault winced, automatically twisting his wrist and preparing to pull him off, but stopped short when he saw Heath wasn't snarling angrily.

He was just . . . staring at him. His expression was unreadable.

Legault swallowed, staring back, confused.

Then Heath tugged Legault's wrist, gently, pulling him closer. It wasn't by much-- a few inches at most-- but it felt much, much closer. A dizzy little charge looped up Legault's spine. He was so preoccupied with Heath's eyes that it took him a moment to notice the man had used his other hand to pluck a little sprig of flowers from the bushes they were sitting upon.

Heath slowly reached over and tucked the sprig lightly behind Legault's ear.

Then he released Legault's wrist and leaned back against the tent support beam, crossing his arms and settling in again as if ready to return to his napping.

"You're one weird guy," the man murmured, looking sidelong at him. A gentle smile played at the corners of his lips.

Legault honestly took a moment to process what had just happened.

Then he smiled, this time not a sad smile; rather, a silly little thing that started out small and spread into a wide, dumb grin that lit his entire face.

Heath slipped his eyes back shut and chuckled quietly.

It was a lovely sound.

[crystalelemental]

I love fates and it was what made me play other fe games. But i completely agree that the robbery for money on that was atrocious and i am highly scared of pokemon falling into that pit with dlc legendaries or other characters or even lore (which barring the remake on gen 3, gen 1 had shit all of) all dlcs. Like i am very thankful that you word everything bc i cant explain for shit but the way you explain it is great and i wish people would take the criticism more seriously because (1)

“(2) because like it is not bc it is not gen 8 or sinnoh remake and yes because lets go can open the doors of pokemon for the shitstorm of ridicilous dlcs and money grabbing practices and thats what is terryfing abt and that people should look out for. Again with analogy to fates. When playing blazing sword it is terryfing when you see how brazenly easy fates could have been(3 routes optional or available after finishibg the game once) and i wish more pkm people would see what is possible coming.

(3) for them should lets go do well in sales. Like please pay attention at what people are critizing because the lets go way is very very likely to introduce or to force you to do microtransations to play the game.”

Honestly, I think people are generally willing to accept criticism when it feels like it’s coming from a place of concern.  Admittedly, I am not good at that.  My expression of concern usually comes off very strong and borderline accusatory depending on the problem at hand, so I don’t blame anyone who feels like I’m just yelling at them about things I don’t know for a fact.  I do try to keep things like “I think” to every assertion so there’s not a push of “this awful thing is going to happen,” because it may not, but I am particularly sure of myself, so it probably does feel like I’m being too insistent that this is definitely what will happen.  It is a concern though.  I don’t know any better than anyone else.  But it’s a thing where I feel like, if they are thinking along those lines, it’s best to prepare for that and bee ready to say I’m not participating.

Again, the real problem is those who are just as worried and just as sure things are going this bad direction, and are sick of just gen 1 and all the things happening, but are very proudly and casually like “I’m gonna still get the game and play as Eevee.”  Like...what have you accomplished?  What’s the point?  You’re gonna make a frowny face when you hand them your money and that’s supposed to make them feel bad so they stop and don’t push it further?  Or maybe you’re just too ingrained in Nintendo stuff, where they don’t have a lot of DLC or keep things reasonable for the most part.  Maybe you’ve never experienced as mechanics are ripped out of a series and sold back to you at added cost over and over again.  You cannot trust developers to not fuck over their customers with added charges when they know they can get away with it.

Now that all said, if you’re actually just straight-up excited?  Good.  I don’t get it, but I am happy for you, and I hope the game meets or exceeds your expectations.  You deserve to have your faith in them rewarded.  But there are a lot of us who can’t place that faith in them, and I hope you understand that the concerns we’re presenting are based off of patterns and the things they’ve shown being eerily similar to things we’ve disliked in the past.  I know Pokemon fandom is particularly divisive because of the genwunner vitriol of “the Pokemon all look bad, the series is dead,” but this isn’t us nitpicking.  This is a legitimate, real concern about them pushing this as a mainline game and a test for mechanics they’re going to introduce in future games, and if they pick the wrong mechanics, the series could become dramatically less fun to us.  I don’t want this game to suck.  I want to be proven wrong.  I don’t think I will be, but I’d be happy to know a few weeks after release that things are good.  That there’s no microtransactions, that your “throw the Pokeball” thing is all for show and the ball can’t miss, that no random encounters pushes more toward my hope of finding Pokemon and approaching them differently rather than you get a finite number of chances to find stuff before leaving the area or having failed forever.  But in lieu of knowing that, all I know is that it looks just like Go, and Go was bad.  So I am worried about this particular direction, and will continue to worry until I am proven wrong.

Also, history of reinforcement.  I complained about Fates endlessly, and still wound up getting it because of that “What if everyone is just being too harsh and it’s still really good?” mentality.  It was the worst game I’ve ever played.  Never again.

[itsme-isfp]

Friendship: ENTP + ISFP

So here’s the thing: my best friend is an ENTP.  We share a mutual love of MBTI but haven’t been able to find much out there on the internet about friends of our personality types.  Occasionally we’ll come across the “odd MBTI pairs that work” posts that throw us together, but otherwise there doesn’t seem to be much love for the ENTP + ISFP pairing, or even intuitive + sensor pairings in general.  In light of this, we thought it would be fun to write some content of our own! We sat down for a couple of hours came up with some thoughts about why our friendship works so well (also it was fun to giggle and appreciate each other).

(For those who are curious, we’re an ISFP female, 3w4 and ENTP male, 8w7. ENTP blogs @theminiatureguy​)

Strengths

ENTP: FUN BUDDIES! This ain't no STJ pair over here. We love exploring new places, experiences, and fun times! ISFP is especially good at helping me with this. She’ll constantly suggest new ideas (her new thing is food) for me to try that I wouldn't think to consider trying.

I mean this is just a benefit for me, but she is great with clothing, hair, and looking sharp - which is an area where I’m 100% clueless - so that’s a huge perk.

ISFP: We’re partners in crime. I like to think we’re the dream team in terms of having great ideas and turning them into reality.  He’s good at coming up with novel solutions.  I’m able to take his ideas and go, okay, how do we make this happen? One of the most rewarding things we do is plan social events together.  He’s great at coming up with a concept and getting people together.  I’m the one who makes sure that the other little details get taken care of.  

ENTP: We both are open minded on our conversations. When we are challenged on our opinions or beliefs we generally are open minded to consider the other’s ideas or opinions.

We have taken the time to really learn and understand each other. We care about the other enough that we constantly seek to learn and understand each other better and better. Because of this we have learned how to care for each other in ways that are uniquely special and meaningful to each other. I’ve learned to pick up on when she needs a gentle back rub or arm touch to remind her everything’s okay and to provide meaningful reminders of her worth when she’s stressed, and to offer full on long secure cuddles with silence when she’s really tired out and just needs to recuperate.  She’s in turn picked up on reminding me that I am useful and do have value even when I feel I’ve fallen short.

ISFP: Adding to this, I really appreciate how thoughtful ENTP can be.  Whether it’s asking me if I need some time alone to process, or reminding me to eat (because I forget, all the time).  He goes out of his way to be in tune with what’s going on in my life and watch out for me.  His insatiable thirst for knowledge definitely works in my favor because he’s always asking questions and working to understand me better :) I really enjoy that he trusts me and lets me into places of his mind and heart that he doesn’t share with other people.  He won’t say this, but he deserves someone to have his back and support him too.  

ENTP: We both bring strengths to the relationship that aren’t anywhere on the other person’s radar. She reminds me almost constantly to consider things from a spiritual or emotional view that I will blow past 9/10 times. This is a huge blessing for me as it helps me to really focus and center myself on what really matters. I like to think that I offer some creative problem solving and critical reasoning but you’d have to ask her to find out if that’s true or just my ego speaking ;)

ISFP: Nah, I totally agree with this. ENTP is great at recognizing when I’m stuck inside my head or experiencing tunnel vision in regard to how I’m handling my emotions or my outlook on my circumstances.  He’s unafraid to call me out on it and explain why my thinking is irrational.  He also has my back in the area of romantic attachments and is able to pick up on potential problems much faster than me - he sees things I overlook when I rely on my feelings.

ENTP: I don’t know if this is an Fi thing, but she loves and cares for me in a unique way no one else really does. It’s refreshing how caring and understanding she can be in a really unobtrusive way. I’ve had several other close friends, even higher Fe users like INFJ and ENFJ, but none of them really love in a way that’s not kinda pushy. When INFJ says “I’ll be here if you need me” it feels weird and standoffish, but when my ISFP palie says the same thing I know she’s really there for me.

Laughter, there’s a lot of laughter and laughter is good. There are other friendships where things aren’t nearly as loose or free to be silly and funny and having that with her is really a huge blessing. Especially when you consider that we both love to laugh and have a good time snickering or just being plain silly.

ISFP: Oh yeah, we’re silly and sassy all the time. It’s one of the great perks of being no filter buddies. We goof off and tease each other constantly. Things like having inside jokes about other people behind their backs or making faces and snickering at each other in serious meetings. He makes life fun!

ENTP: People seem to think ISFPs are simple or dumber than other types but lemme tell you, this gal is wicked smart. I’m often flabbergasted by her ability to add a simple “what about this?” to whatever I’m considering that makes total sense and drastically enhances whatever plan I was considering.

Struggles

ENTP: Our senses of humor can be quite different at times. Whereas mine tends to be based on relating different concepts, or turning words around to play with them, hers tends to be more based on sounds or instances in our environment.

ISFP: Yeah, we tend to miss each other in the moment sometimes. I think most of it relates to us just being so different in how we perceive the world around us and process information.  His need to “understand all the things now!” can be a little too intense for me. I frustrate him when I’m quiet during a rough time and bottle up my thoughts and feelings.  Just being real here; we don’t have that picture perfect friendship where we’re 100% in tune all the time and there’s never ever conflict.  We do fight and hurt each other sometimes.  The good news is that these fights are pretty far and few between - and we do our best to look out for each other, which means that we talk through misunderstandings before they blow up into something bigger.

Why it works

ISFP: We’ve made a mutual commitment to be 100% honest with each other. Which, in the moment means we’re free to spout out whatever goofy or snarky thoughts come into our heads, but also gives us the freedom during serious talks to call each other out on our bullshit in a loving way.  

ENTP here now, but no filter buddies is like the best thing ever! I’m used to constantly biting my tongue or holding thoughts back because they tend to be rude or out of place to most people but she does a great job at accepting, and often joining in my goofy/random/weird thoughts. As an added bonus, no-filter buddies means we don’t have to worry about hidden meanings or assumptions, we can just up and ask if something is wrong and trust for the truth.

ISFP: We defined the relationship early on, which gives us the basis to set boundaries and know what to expect from each other. ENTP and I aren’t dating and don’t intend to be romantically involved any time in the future. Agreeing that we want to keep things platonic early on has been very, very helpful. I don’t have to worry about accidentally leading him on, or reading too much into every little thing he says.  

ENTP: We accept each other unconditionally, never letting a mistake or flaw of the other discredit them from our love/acceptance.

ISFP: We work through conflict and try to talk it through sooner than later.  The purpose is to understand why it happened, how the other person was affected, and how we can best support each other going forward. This one is the most challenging for me, because I like to have time and space to process strong emotions, while ENTP prefers to know what is going on right away and resolve things as quickly as possible.

But yeah, what ENTP said about unconditional acceptance is huge. Most of the time we disagree, it’s just because we’re looking at things differently.  Having this mindset is so helpful because it forces us to slow down and listen...and often find that we’re actually on the same page after all.  In the end, whether or not we always agree on something, we put the friendship first. Having him in my life is more important than having the picture-perfect bestie, although I couldn’t ask anyone better.  :) 

[bigklingy]

In case anyone wanted to know my (brief) thoughts on Fates.

So I got a comment on a Fates video asking if I ever did a “review” of some kind. I thought I might as well copy-past my reply here. Heres my dot-point thoughts on FE Fates. Just... try to be civil. I know everything about this game tends to spark flame wars. Gameplay: -In general, MUCH better than Awakening, especially pair-up. Skills are also nice, being less luck-based and more about flat stat boosts, and personal skills should be in every future game. -Class balance is a bit better. Generals and Snipers got much-needed improvements. Only class I'd call "overpowered" is Master Ninjas. (If they didn't have Poison Strike they'd be fine, but with it they beat both frail units AND bulky ones) -Unbreakable weapons are fine, and for the most part there's still strategy in weapon choice, perhaps even more so. But there are a few problems. Higher-level weapons have drawbacks too large, and Knives are almost completely inferior to Shuriken. Map Design: -Birthright, decent. Conquest, fantastic, nearly perfect. Revelation, bad. -Dragon Veins are a nice gimmick, especially when bosses use them too. -It’s hard to describe (and not really related to map design), but the world map in Birthright and Revelation feels lifeless and boring compared to the ones in Sacred Stones, Awakening and Echoes. Difficulty: -Birthright is a bit too easy. Its Hard should have been harder. Characters range from good to game-breaking. -Conquest is a bit too extreme in its difficulty. Conquest Hard is barely different from Conquest Lunatic. If they'd toned-down Hard to be more of an in-between of Normal and Lunatic, I'd like it better. Character balance is very good overall with the possibly exception of Camilla. -Revelation is all over the place. A few isolated maps are hard, the rest are as easy as Birthright. Many characters are TERRIBLY balanced on this route though.

-I like how higher difficulties aren’t just numerical stat boosts to enemies. Adding enemies, changing equipment, changing objectives, or even changing deployment locations. Please do more of this in future games.

-Lunatic mode is way better than Awakening’s. Less cheap luck-based difficulty. Though its exclusive skills are dumb. Supports/Pairings: -Gaining classes through supports adds depth. -A+ supports are confusing and clumsy. Opposite-sex siblings should be able to A+. You should not be allowed to A+ if you get no classes out of it. (e.g. Azura and Sakura) -Children feel awkwardly shoehorned in and should have been explained better. Paralogues are nice, but none of them have any story relevance. This game either should have had a time-skip or no children at all. -While children aren't as broken as Awakening, and Offspring Seals are great, we're back to FE4 style "some pairings aren't viable at all from a gameplay standpoint". Magic-focused mothers suffer greatly from this, as there are very few magic children. This is more a personal thing, as I pair more for story than gameplay. -I feel like the "every character can marry the Avatar" system hurt some characters/plot points this time. I personally think Gunter, the Hoshidan siblings, Midori, Percy and possibly Soleil should not have been able to marry them. -Before you ask, no, I don’t think Scarlet should have been able to marry Ryoma. I actually don’t like that pairing much. I do think she shouldn’t have been able to marry the Avatar on “that route” though. -Male Avatar can't marry a Gen 1 female without erasing one child forever. -Same-sex marriage totally inferior to straight marriage from a gameplay standpoint, erasing one/two children forever. Spoilers ahead. Also, mostly negativity ahead. Story: -All three routes aren't great.

-WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A NAME FOR THE CONTINENT.

-I am in a VERY small minority that thinks Birthright is worse than Conquest. It adds a ton of random, pointless deaths just to try and give it as much tragedy as the other routes. The final stretch of chapters I found unsatisfying. Sneaking inside the enemy castle so conveniently only evil people get killed is less epic than a full-scale invasion. And it makes Birthright the objectively morally-superior route when they were supposed to be avoiding that. Corrin's characterization is the best of all three routes though. -Controversial opinion: I'm not bothered THAT much about Conquest, it might actually be my favourite of the three. (But that's not saying much) But it suffers from contrivances just to cause tragedy, and the villains often "undo" anything positive Corrin does and can't be rebelled against until it's too late. The siblings shouldn't have been kept in the dark about their father. Corrin not killing things gets hard to believe, and all the "it's not black and white" speeches fall hollow when IT ACTUALLY IS. I disagree with Nohr being 100% evil though. I think the only evil Nohrians are Hans, Iago and Garon. Chapters 21 to 24 are some of my favourite moments in any FE game, though that might only be because the map design is so good. -Revelation is weird. It's the most "complete" route with the best ending, and lets you use everyone. But the plot often hinges of characters being idiots. Corrin here is imo the worst of all three versions, coming off as really stupid at times. The main villain has no backstory if you don't buy the Hidden Truths DLC. -I think Corrin should have been blood-related to the Hoshidan siblings. They not being breaks one of the themes of the game and feels like waifu/husbando pandering. It also requires weird plot contrivances. (Both Sumeragi and Mikoto must have been cheating on/with eachother at the same time??) -Character-wise, they're... okay. I feel like less characters are exaggerated stereotypes compared to Awakening, though they're still present. (Arthur, Peri, Odin) But none of the characters truly grabbed me as amazing. -The children aren't nearly as good characters as they were in Awakening, with only one or two not boring me to death. -Hans and Iago, on all three routes, are irredeemably terrible. Generically evil for no reason. -Controversial opinion: I kind of like Garon. But sort-of ironically. I find him hilariously over-the-top and fun. And he actually has a backstory unlike Hans and Iago. -The final Rev villain is a step up from Grima, but still not that great. (And with Grima's expanded backstory in Echoes, Grima might actually be better than him now) -Mikoto is killed way too early, she barely makes an impact. I like her on Revelation though, as I consider the phantom version of her an exaggeration of her flaws, thus.... giving her some. -Corrin is the worst Avatar so far, and possibly the worst Lord in the series. A lot of their character suffers from player-pandering and the plot bending over backwards to absolve them of any direct guilt in anything. Birthright Corrin is okay though. DLC: -From what little I've played, it's not as good as Awakening's. Hidden Truths is good though. -Grinding DLC suffers heavily from the scaling. At end-game, the only people who can kill the enemies in Boo Camp... are those strong enough to not need the exp anyway. That kind of defeats the point. I like that it's not effortless, but they went a bit too far. Overall: -Conquest has some of the best gameplay in the series by far. I hope future FE games follow its example in map design. -They tried to do a better story than Awakening, but it ended up even worse. Please hire the writers of Echoes to write future FEs from now on. -I like Conquest considerably more than Awakening for its gameplay alone. Birthright is better than Awakening gameplay-wise, but I found Awakening “deeper” overall. Revelation has more characters, but it’s got some big issues.

[rephil]

The One Where Phil Dates Dan

TW: Mentions of self loathing, cursing?? I guess Word Count: 7712 Genre: Fluff Prompt: dontforgettosmile (AO3)

Summary: It's been a long time since Dan last dated someone. Eight years, to be exact. Phil offers that they go on a date, to save each other from the dreadful feeling of being alone. But no homo though.

READ ON AO3

I may or may not be accepting prompts it depends do u want a fic next year let me know

Author’s Note: This promt was sent an entire year ago! Yikes! I've been struggling to write this because of school, but since its summer again, I finally got to finish it! Ey! 

Also listen, this was meant to be a sad ending™ fic but I love yall!! Didn’t say it’s a good ending tho it’s pretty rushed and shitty so yea enjoy

Dan knew it was a bad idea to lurk around his old friends’ profiles right before he deleted his Facebook. It made him feel insecure of himself since they had all these accomplishments and great things going on for them, while he was stuck in the same thing for about seven years now. Sure, Dan enjoyed making Youtube videos, and his (and Phil’s) fanbase was really strong, but he still had that tinge of fear that one day, all of it will be lost and he will have nowhere else to fall back on. Phil kept reassuring him that nothing bad will happen to them in the near future, but the thought still left Dan sleepless at night.

But other than that, in a less existential tone, Dan felt pretty salty about people's relationships. Every time he scrolled through Facebook, he found people bragging their love and security right before his very eyes; it is what made him want to quit Facebook in the first place (his personal Facebook, at least). People would freak out if his “danisnotonfire” account vanished in thin air. But in his private account, Dan hated scrolling through pictures of flowers one of his uni friends received from their dates, or pictures of weddings of high school acquaintances he never bothered unfriending, or videos of his friends from his old job showing their baby’s first few steps. They made Dan realize how lonely he was, and how long it had been since he was ever serious with someone.

Upon scrolling further down his timeline, Dan saw a picture of the last person he wanted to see right now; the first and only serious relationship he had in his entire life, Sarah Wickham. She got married last Saturday and just posted an album with 100 HD pictures of the entire wedding thirty minutes ago.

People thought she and Dan were cute together after playing Romeo and Juliet at uni, so they just decided to give their relationship a chance. They actually hit it off for the most part. They were both very much into acting, hence being in the school play, and they had a lot of interests in common. He was actually surprised about how extensive her knowledge was in Muse discography.

The only downfall to their relationship was the choices Dan made, which was watching YouTube videos. Not that she minded, of course; she enjoyed watching Smosh as much as he did. But by falling into the pit of YouTube, Dan met the first person to ever make him question his sexuality: Phil Lester.

Funny enough, Dan and Sarah had so much in common that they both found Phil attractive (although Dan was less vocal about it). They would tune in to his new uploads and watch them together, even following him on all his other social media. However, the only difference was that Sarah was a casual fan while Dan literally dove right up Phil’s ass, if that was possible.

Dan would comment as soon as he uploads a video to guarantee that Phil noticed him, doing the same for the rest of his social media, while Sarah simply liked a tweet she found funny. Dan basically devoted more time impressing Phil than impressing his girlfriend, and Sarah noticed that way before Dan did. They broke up the second Dan brought up that he was meeting Phil in Manchester the following week.

Dan found it funny that technically, he's still in the same position he was seven years ago. Still the same fanboy obsessing over Amazingphil and still stuck in the abyss that is Youtube. Only this time, he's actually living with his idol and gets paid for being on Youtube. Others would think that Dan was living the dream, but he just felt like he wasn't doing anything serious in his life. But that wasn't exactly the most pressing issue he had at the moment. That was a crisis for next time.

Did he still like Phil? Dan didn’t have a concrete answer at the moment. Sure, his cringey obsessed fanboy phase died down somewhere around 2012 when people won’t shut up about it, but the admiration was still there. He’d still anticipate Phil’s posts, despite the fact that he’d talk about it to Dan beforehand.

Did he still like Sarah? Obviously not. But when he realized that she was the last person that Dan had ever gotten into a relationship with speaks volumes on how terrible his social life was. Seeing her live a stable life felt like being smacked with a brick. It’s like telling him that he didn’t do anything with his life at all. And did that stop Dan from viewing every single picture in her album? Definitely not.

Phil must’ve noticed Dan’s sour expression and asked, “Are you okay, Dan?”

Dan snapped out of his stupor and looked over to Phil, whose eyebrows were pulling closer by the second. Phil’s stern expression looked almost like how Dan’s mother looked, and it made him grow conscious of his current position, what he’d call his ‘browsing position’, so he sat up. His mother constantly scolded him about his posture, that he would have osteoporosis by the time he's thirty. She was right.

“I’m fine,” Dan chuckled, “just can’t read the small text in this thing, that’s all.” He gestured to the hypothetical text he couldn’t read to look convincing, but they lived with each other for so long, Phil obviously knew Dan was fibbing.

“If it helps, press command and the plus sign to make the text bigger,” Phil mumbled, returning his attention back to his own laptop. It was filled with dozens of stickers he picked up from random places, probably adding a whole gram to its weight. As a stark contrast, Dan’s laptop was super clean; he'd use some cleaning agent to get rid of the sweat and dust it accumulated the whole week.

“Thanks,” he said half-heartedly, but didn’t do it. He decided to give lurking a rest, and decided to go to Tumblr for his daily dose of memes. He's seriously going to procrastinate deleting his Facebook.

Dan leaped a foot up his seat when his laptop produced a loud notification sound that pierced through the quiet room. He looked for the source of the sound from the immense number of tabs opened in his window and found it in his Facebook tab. It was a message from Phil.

can you read your text now, grandpa??

Dan glared at him, but Phil was too busy with whatever he’s doing to even notice him. He typed up a response and slammed the enter key.

stfu... which one of us has a receding hairline?

“Rude,” Phil replied audibly, earning a chuckle from Dan. It was an unspoken fact that Facebook was for old people. No one probably used it as their main source of enjoyment anymore since their parents might be lurking around to see what they were up to, just like what Phil was doing, essentially. Having both Dan and Phil online on their personal Facebooks may prove they are approaching old age.

Thanks to Phil, Dan lingered back to Sarah’s wedding album and decided to click on her profile to see more of what she was up to. He scrolled through all her achievements, from job promotions to weight loss to pet adoption, and he actually felt proud of her. What ticked him off were all the posts of her and her fiance- now husband- and all the cute things they were doing together. Dan wanted to experience them too.

A notification disturbed his grumbling again, which led him to mute his laptop once and for all, and looked over to see that Phil sent him another message.

you’re obvs not trying to read small text… wats up?

Dan clicked on the message box and typed,

Facebook is making me hate people

A few moments later, Phil responded,

same... why tho?

Dan realized Phil was literally sitting a few feet away from him, so Dan decided to just talk out loud. He was too lazy to type. “Its making me realize that I’m not doing anything with my life.”

Phil sighed, giving Dan an apologetic look. He knew that look; Phil usually gave it to him when he was about to give Dan a really long preppy speech.

“Dan, it’s perfectly fine to fe—”

Dan chuckled, cutting him off and saying, “I meant my social life, Phil.” He corrected himself, “Or dating life, I guess. The last time I had a proper date with someone was when I was at uni.”

Phil raised his eyebrows condescendingly, and Dan wanted to chuck a pillow at him. It was pathetic enough that Dan’s last relationship was literally just forced by people from drama club. He obviously had himself to blame for cowering at the thought of leaving the house, but he also wanted to blame Phil for that too. He was the apparent downfall of Dan’s heterosexuality and the chance he had of meeting someone else.

“We can always set up a Tinder profile for you,” Phil suggested, as if it was that simple.

“Are you crazy, Phil?” Dan whispered, almost as if someone was listening to them right now. “What if a fan sees it?”

“Then you can go date a fan,” Phil mused, giggling to himself. When Dan shot Phil a glare, he pouted and said, “Well, guess not. I would suggest going outside and meeting people like it’s the dark ages, but you won’t be too keen on that.”

It was as if Phil was reading his thoughts. Dan sunk into his sofa crease and accepted his fate. Unless his parents married him off to some royalty from another kingdom, Dan would be left rotting in a flat making videos about all the rest of his other misfortunes.

“I have an idea!” Phil said suddenly, making Dan yelp. “Why don’t I take you out?”

Figuratively, Dan would’ve spat his drink.

“Erm,” Dan started slowly. He didn’t want to look at Phil in the eye yet. This might be one of Phil’s disturbing jokes where he’s trying not to laugh. “What?” When he looked at Phil, he was dead serious.

“Ya know,” Phil said as he shrugged, “I’m gonna take you to eat someplace nice.”

Dan rolled his eyes and said “Yeah, sure.” He wasn't having it with Phil's jokes.

But it made Dan wonder if Phil was seeing someone. He probably wasn’t, being that the only times he ever went out of the house was with Dan, running some errands, or making a lame attempt at jogging to stay healthy. It would be a far stretch to assume that Phil went on a date at some point and telling Dan that he did the latter two instead, after all, there weren’t any secrets between them.

Because between the two of them, Phil was more sociable and friendly. People would love to date him. It wouldn’t be a surprise to find out that Phil has actually been dating someone for three years under Dan’s nose.

They sat in silence for the remainder of the night, mumbling occasionally about something funny they saw on their Tumblrs. Phil was supposed to be editing a video right now, but Dan wasn’t one to scold him to do it; he procrastinates editing all the time too.

Dan retreated to bed a few hours later. It was already 2 AM and his eyes are difficult to keep open. He mumbled an incoherent ‘goodnight’ at Phil, who grunted softly in reply, and trudged to his room with his laptop tucked underneath his arm.

Dan would be a terrible boyfriend. He’d forget saying goodnight to his partner, probably even forget to text them for an entire week. He should include it in the hundred number of reasons why he didn’t have a lovelife.

Phil was usually the first person to wake up in the morning, despite the fact that they hated getting up early. Phil had to sacrifice his sleep in order to pee, then he couldn’t will himself to sleep after that. Usually Phil would prepare his breakfast and make some for Dan too, but the flat was dead quiet. There wasn't bustling sounds of spatulas scraping frying pans. Either Dan woke up too late or too early this morning.

When Dan unplugged his phone to check the time, it was nine AM. Too late then. He decided to just check his social media before starting the day, which meant checking his social media on his laptop instead of his phone. Just as he watched a vine in a low volume, the doorbell unexpectedly rang, and Dan’s heart pounded rather violently in his chest.

“Phil! Get the door!” Dan yelled, not wanting to separate himself from his toasty bed just yet, but the doorbell kept ringing. He kept calling Phil, but no avail. Was he out jogging? Dan assumed whoever was at the door was just delivery guy, but he usually gave up after buzzing three times. This one seemed persistent.  

Begrudgingly, Dan stood up and put on the shirt he wore last night, heading to the front door.

“I’m coming!” he mumbled, ruffling his hair to make it a bit decent.

When Dan opened the door, it was just Phil. “Good morning!” he chirped, with a big smile on his face. He was all dressed up and had his left hand behind his back. Dan felt drained as he watched Phil being so energetic after he just woke up.

“Phil?” he sighed, “You locked yourself out again?” He walked back inside, considering getting cereal for breakfast. That is, if Phil didn’t finish it yet.

“No, actually. I'm here to pick you up on our date, remember?” Dan turned his back and Phil showed what he was holding from behind his back, which was a single red rose, and held it out for Dan.

He took a step back. “Wait, you were serious?” He thought he made it pretty clear he was being sarcastic when he said “yeah, sure”. Dan took the rose anyway and tossed it on their coffee table, as if it was radioactive.

“You weren't?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Dan tried to point out the obvious. “Phil, our fans. What if they see?”

He shrugged. “We can just say we're going as friends. We don't exactly have have to do all the lovey dovey stuff,” Phil replied, like it was no big deal. Dan thought he knew better than to underestimate their audience.

It was nice of Phil to try making him feel better about the whole dating thing, but Dan was completely over it. “Phil, you don’t have to push this. I’m fine”

Phil laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “But, I kind of made plans for today already.”

Dan pinched his brow and sighed. “How long did you stay up last night exactly?”

“Long enough to find the best place to have brunch in Central London.”

And to pick out a nice outfit, apparently. Phil picked a green plaid shirt, black jeans, and brown combat boots, all of which Dan never saw before in his life. Phil didn’t wear new clothes unless its for a meet and greet or a new video, but then again, did Phil ever do anything else besides that?

“We can just eat brunch here. Honestly, Phil, I don't care about the dating thing anymore,” Dan said, crossing his arms.

“But the place I found looked so cool, ” Phil whined, slumping his shoulders. “Besides, we aren’t doing anything else right now so we might as well go.” Phil did puppy eyes, just because he perfectly knew that Dan can never resist them.

“Fine,” Dan grumbled. “But let me take a shower first.”

“Okay,” Phil said meekly, placing his hands in his pockets and bouncing on the balls of his feet. It creeped Dan out.

“Phil, what the hell are you doing?”

Tilting his head to the side, he answered, “Waiting.” He reminded Dan of those creepy girls wearing vintage dresses and pigtails in horror movies. The ones that made him keep every single light on for the sake of keeping his sanity.

“Why aren’t you sitting down?” he sputtered.

Phil shifted his gaze between Dan and the sofa. “Well, I have manners. I won’t sit unless you let me.”

Dan glared at him and said, “Phil, you fucking live here.”

Phil leaned his head, looked to the left and to the right as if someone was listening to them, and whispered, “Pretend we just met today.”

Dan scoffed. He thought Phil was supposed to take him out… as Phil? Phil was always one to make up a bunch of personas whenever he had the opportunity. Dan found it so endearing,  which is why he always went along with all of them anyway. “Okay, person I just met ,” he said, as if reading from a paper, “You may sit.”

His roommate scowled. “That’s the worst acting ever, Dan.”

Dan smiled coyly, and before turning to leave, he says, “I’m getting ready first, and I’ll be there in a minute. Do you want anything?”

Phil sat back on the couch and said, “A date with you would be amazing.”

Dan was taken back. Was Phil seriously this smooth? He laughed nervously and tried to counter him with the same tone, but failed. “Yeah, that… can be arranged.” Then he did the worst thing he could possibly do: finger guns.

He mentally slapped himself in the face. If this wasn’t Phil, then his date would make their way straight to the door and leave.

Dan took a quick shower that probably lasted two minutes. He went to dry his hair, not even bothering to straighten it like he used to. What took him so long was the time he spent to decide what clothes to wear. He was conscious about picking his clothes since Phil looked great.

Dan immediately scolded himself. This is just Phil, dammit. This wasn’t even a real date. This was just a “hey you’re lonely and I’m bored let’s go out” type of thing and nothing more. Phil is probably just taking him to a McDonalds and buy breakfast platters and go home. This is probably even nothing to him.

And yet, it took Dan about ten minutes to decide if he should use the moth shirt or one of the several black jumpers he owned. He checked the weather app for the billionth time to check that it was, in fact, sunny outside. Because if that’s the case, he will wear a thinner jacket.

He settled for a gray jumper, his usual black jeans, and the shoes he owns with lots of zippers on them. He checked himself on the mirror, fixing his curls to make sure they were all in the right place. He took his cologne, aggressively sprayed in front of him and stepped into its mist.

He quickly jogged back to the lounge, where Phil sat playing Crossy Roads. Dan didn’t blame him, Dan did take a long time to get ready: forty minutes to be exact. Dan cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

“Hey! You’re done,” Phil exclaimed as he turned to look at Dan, shoving his phone back in his pocket. He stood up and gestured to Dan. “Looking good, as always.”

Dan felt a tingle of heat spread on his cheeks, and he mentally pinched himself for it. He kept repeating “ It’s just Phil. It’s just Phil ” over and over in his head, but Phil's words continued to have an effect on him. Dammit. Dan tried to play it off by saying, “Let’s go. The city of London awaits.”

The weather app lied. It felt like there was a tornado outside.

Dan was relieved he didn’t waste his time straightening his hair at all, it would’ve been ruined anyway. The wind propelled everything that was lighter than a bottle of water off the ground, even Dan’s phone almost got carried away. He looked over at Phil, who was just as concerned for his hair as Dan, and giggled. Phil's fringe swooped up, revealing his massive forehead, and Dan was too conscious of his own hair to make fun of Phil’s.

They managed to make it to the tube station all in one piece. Phil led the way, brisk-walking to the train that just arrived by the platform with Dan running closely behind him. Although Dan was taller and had longer legs than Phil, Dan couldn’t walk just as fast as him. Probably because of all that jogging Phil was doing.

When they finally situated themselves on the seats closest to the doors, Dan let out a huge sigh of relief. He felt like he just ran in a marathon.

“Where are we even going?” Dan wheezed, still trying to catch his breath while surveying the scene. The trolley wasn’t very crowded anymore since people usually get off at the station before theirs, and looking all around, there didn’t seem to be people that would’ve been one of their followers.

Phil must’ve arrived to the same conclusion since he didn’t have to whisper when he said, “It’s a surprise! This would be really boring if you knew exactly what we’re doing.”

“Is that what you think?” he quipped, “You want dates to be a surprise for you?” Dan lowered his voice a bit just in case.

“Yeah,” Phil responded, smiling in thought. “I don’t really want to know where I’m going because I’m gonna make a bunch of scenarios and get my standards up, you know?”

He did have a point, especially since Dan usually over thought anything that may or may not happen to him. His scenarios were usually for the worst, however, to avoid exactly what Phil said. Dan envisioned everything that could possibly go wrong given a situation, so maybe he didn’t have to worry about raising his standards up. In fact, Dan would be surprised if things went well for him.

But regardless, he wanted to know exactly what will happen in a date. Dan told Phil that he wanted to be mentally prepared for whatever was coming for him. Phil laughed silently and shook his head, just as the train slowed to a stop and the doors opened.

“I promise I won’t take you anywhere you won’t like,” Phil reassured him over the sound of people hopping off and hopping on the train. They didn’t bother talking while people transitioned in and out of the car, too lazy to try to talk over the noise. They waited until the doors closed and the train slowly marched ahead.

“If it makes you feel any better, I can give you some hints.”

“Fire away.”

He held a finger up and pointed on it with his other hand. “Well, you already know, but as a refresher: we’re getting brunch, since I’m assuming that you’d probably still be asleep for the next five hours if I didn’t ring the doorbell.”

Dan scoffed. “Correction: I’d probably still be in bed for the next five hours if you didn’t ring the doorbell.”

Phil gave him a look and continued, counting a second finger, “ And then,” he paused for a moment, watching Dan’s face for any sort of speculation. Phil finally said,”We’re going home.”

Dan snickered and pushed Phil with his shoulder. He expected a long, well thought out plan. The good thing was, Phil wasn't taking Dan to McDonalds. He hoped.

They passed three other stops before Phil declared that the next one was going to be theirs. Phil patted Dan on the knee and stood up, leading the way out of the station. The wind wasn’t as bad as it was a while ago, but Dan still had to place his hands on his hair to avoid it turning into a huge bushy mess.

Phil looked back at Dan and smiled at him. “Just take a left here,” and mimicking the voice of their GPS, he added, “and in fifty meters, your destination will be on the left.”

Dan snorted, following Phil’s directions. Phil walked a little bit ahead of Dan to go by the door and to open it, gesturing for Dan to go inside. Dan softly thanked him and stepped into the restaurant, with Phil following suit.

“Wow, Phil, you did a really good job finding this place,” Dan said as they situated themselves in a booth by the wall, but not too far back in the restaurant in case someone saw them and drew speculations.

A waiter wearing a crisp black uniform appeared before them and handed them menus, asking if they wanted something to drink. Phil opted for lemonade while Dan chose hot coffee.

Dan was fairly impressed with the selection of food; he would try them all if he was able to. Some dishes were a bit unfamiliar to him, but it wasn’t something Google can’t help him with.

“Find anything you wanna order?“ Phil asked, peeking over from his menu.

“Still browsing,” he replied.

“I'm just having what you're having.”

Dan smirked. “That’s so lazy. So if i buy an entire cheese platter, would you eat it with me?”

“Maybe don't be a piece of shit,” Phil said, rolling his eyes.

Dan faked a gasp and placed his hands on his chest. “Phil! Language .” It earned him a laugh.

Their waiter arrived with their drinks and a set of cream and sugar. As he settled them on the table, he decided to take their orders. Dan ended up ordering white pasta instead of a cheese platter, so Phil did the same. Phil also decided to get potato bombs since they looked great in the picture. When the waiter left, Dan put half the cup of cream and two sugar cubes into his coffee, stirring it slowly.

“So, when was the first date you've ever had?” Phil asked, twirling his straw in the glass.

Dan thought about it and sighed at the memory, explaining, “The first and only date I ever had was forced by my friends at uni, so I won't really hold it to any standards.”

“I see,” Phil responded solemnly.

In attempt to lighten the mood, Dan said, “Which is why I need some protips from you.”

Phil smirked. “Don't you mean editing tips?”

“Don't say that thing ever again,” he deadpanned.

“Well, the last time I ever dated someone was 2009.” Dan, being Phil trash number one, remembered that. “So my most popular pickup line is that I have a youtube channel.”

“Really? And they're impressed with that?”

“Well 70,000 subscribers was probably bigger than the population of Manchester, so I guess they were! They'd even ask for a shout out from me, but there's just too many of them. I can’t fit them all in one video.”

“Oh, you poor famous man,” Dan cooed mockingly. “But that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid though, my dates knowing that I have a youtube account.”

“Your channel isn't exactly hush hush right now. Even if they aren't fans of you, they might’ve recognized you from somewhere.”

Dan sighed. “Exactly.”

“Oh, you poor famous man,” he imitated Dan.

“Shut up.” He kicked Phil’s legs from under the table. “What else do you have?”

Phil rubbed his chin with his index finger and thumb, as if he was thinking of something scholarly. But really, he was just thinking of dating tips. They were both pretty much rusty in that department since it has been so long after all. All of the good moves in 2009 were probably corny and bad in 2017.

Phil finally leaned forward, placing both elbows on the table, and said, “I would go and ask them about themselves.” He gestured towards Dan before placing his hands under his chin. “Then I would look at them like this.” Phil tilted his head to the side, hooded his eyes, and smiled.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows and cringed. “Yeah, did they all run away?”

It was Phil’s turn to kick Dan from under the table. He slumped back on his seat and said, “Shut up. They loved it.”

Dan snorted. “See how well that went for you.”

Before Phil could retort, the waiter came with a basket of bread and a bowl with about six servings of butter. It was both their favorite part of eating. Dan took the napkin on his plate and placed it on his lap, with Phil following suit. They each took a slice of bread and Phil jokingly stole the bowl of butter. Dan tried to steal it from his hands, but Phil placed it on his seat and stuck his tongue out at Dan.

As they ate, Dan had the urge to take his phone out, but he knew that was being rude. From all the countless articles he read about dating, despite the fact that never got to use any of them in real life, he knew that he should focus on his date and his date only. The most prominent dating tips those articles had to offer was that he shouldn’t take his phone out and that he shouldn’t talk about himself too much, which Dan honestly thought was common sense. But turns out not everyone thought it was.

“Have you posted your evil piano teacher video?” Phil asked as he grabbed a second slice of bread and returned the bowl of butter on the table. “I need to post the pastel video. People can’t wait.”

Dan shrugged. “I’m still debating about whether or not should I put a clip of me actually playing the piano somewhere.” He took two more slices of bread because he was sure that Phil would finish the entire basket without Dan realizing it.

Phil smiled, taking a huge bite off his bread. “You should! People will love it. I always hear you play, and you’re quite lovely.”

As usual, Dan tried to hide that he was flustered with humor as he said, “But I haven’t met you before! How did you know that I play the piano.” Phil bit his lip and smiled, which didn’t exactly help Dan’s case at all. “But thanks. I’ll try.”

As Phil finished the bread on his hands, he raised his eyebrows in realization. “Oh! You can put it in like a split screen, while you’re talking or something.”

Dan nodded his head slowly. “Sure, probably at the beginning or the end.” He dropped another sugar cube into his coffee and stirred it again.  “I might need some help with it though. It’s been a long time since I last did split screen.”

Phil winked. “Don’t worry, I can give you those editing tips tonight if you want.”

“What did I tell you, Phil?” Dan said with an exasperated tone.

“Okay, Danny boy.”

They continued to talk about failed previous dates, not as if there was much to add anyway, and their appetizer came about five minutes later. Dan thought they looked, well, appetizing. Ten perfectly symmetrical balls were stacked on a plate with a little bowl of white sauce on the side. The balls had a dark brown color and they had red and green seasoning and a little bit of cheese sprinkled on top of them. Dan took his phone out to take a snapshot of it — he’s sure Phil wouldn’t mind.

Dan even handed his phone to Phil and requested, “Hey, can you take a picture of the potato balls? I wanna take a picture of it in all angles.”

Phil rolled his eyes and turned the plate 180 degrees around. “There’s your different angle.”

Dan scowled. “But it still looks different in your end! With all the lighting and shit.”

“Fine,” he huffed, holding out his hand to get the phone. He turned the plate back to its original position and took a few pictures at each side of the plate, before handing Dan’s phone back to him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, skimming through the gallery to check if either one of them were visible in the photos.

If he or Phil decided to post the pictures, he didn’t want the other to be visible in them. He knew that their fans had really keen eyes. Dan remembered the time when he posted a picture of the sundae he bought with Phil for national ice cream day. The corner of Phil’s sleeve was visible on the edge of the picture, and people kept speculating about it. The comments were filled with people asking if it was a date.

Not that Dan minded this, of course. He was perfectly fine with people shipping him with his best friend, mostly because he agreed with them, but he wasn’t completely sure if Phil did as well. Dan could always answer those questions with sarcasm or a witty joke, but he was afraid that he would be see through, and not even Phil would be convinced.

Dan had to scroll through several comments to find a safe one to answer like “Was the ice cream good?” or “Happy national ice cream day!” From then on, he decided to just avoid possible hints that they are together, even if it won’t completely get rid of the speculation.

Dan realized he was holding on his phone for too long. Despite the number of notifications he had from his social media, he fought his urge by turning it off and shoving it back in his pocket. He felt the Cosmopolitan article called Top 10 Biggest First Date Turn-offs haunting him and reminding him how to be a good date, even if this wasn’t really a real one.

Phil apparently ate two potato balls already, so Dan popped two consecutive ones into his mouth, so they were even. He felt bad for using his phone for longer than he should’ve, so he asked:

“Hey, Phil? Was that… a turn off?” Dan had no idea what to call it, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. The confused look on Phil’s face made Dan realize how stupid his question was. He elaborated, “I mean like, using my phone on our… date?”

Phil shook his head and took another potato ball and dipped it into the white sauce. Dan completely forgot about it. “No, I don’t mind. I know you were just checking the pictures.”

“Well, what if I was someone else? Like, I don’t know, Sarah Michelle Gellar?”

Phil scoffed. “You know I wouldn’t mind anything if I’m dating either you or Sarah Michelle Gellar . ”

Dan scrunched his nose in frustration and said, “Well what if you were dating someone you don’t know?”

Phil thought for a moment before replying, “I mean, I guess I’d be a little irked if they used their phone too long.” Dan took a potato ball, this time with the dip, as Phil added, “But you know, I can’t imagine myself dating anyone else besides you or Sarah Michelle Gellar,” which prompted Dan to choke.

He kept coughing, and he couldn’t seem to stop. Phil was starting to get worried, so he pushed Dan’s glass of water towards him. Dan attempted to take a sip of water, which helped him a bit. Sarah Michelle Gellar has always been a “given” answer when people asked Phil “who would you take out on a date?” but it has never been Dan. He cleared his throat and gritted, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Phil opened his mouth to reply, but the waiter came with their food. He shrugged as the waiter dropped two identical dishes on their table. He asked if everything was in order before dashing off to the the table next to them to take their orders.

Phil cleared his throat before saying, “I don’t know, I guess it’s just because it’s Sarah Michelle Gellar . I’ve been thinking about dating her since I was seventeen.” He took his fork and twirled it into his pasta. Was that it?

“Also we’re here, right now, and it’s perfectly fine because, you know...” His voice trailed off and he took the pasta to his mouth, chewing slowly. He laughed and shook his head. “You’re my friend! It just feels kinda weird thinking about dating someone else when I haven’t been doing it for a long time.”

Dan felt his heart sink. With the steadiest voice he could muster, he said, “Oh. Well, that’s true.” He took his own fork and started digging into his pasta, only remembering that he had to take a picture when it was too late. He decided that he just won’t post anything anymore.

Dan wanted to slide lower into his seat and rot under the table for the next ten years. He kept telling himself stupid stupid stupid for thinking that Phil meant something else — that he actually liked dating Dan, and wanted to keep going. He can’t believe himself for even assuming.

But Dan still made the effort to act as if nothing happened. He suppressed his feelings for Phil since they first met because he hasn’t fully come to terms with his sexuality, but despite coming to terms with it now, didn’t make any difference. He was still the same old Dan inside out. Still the same weak piece of shit.

Dan dropped his fork onto the dish and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I’m full,” he declared, taking a sip of his already cold coffee. Phil was a fast eater, so he was just about to take his final bite of pasta.

“Should I ask for the check?” Phil tried to say through his mouthful, but Dan understood, and he nodded. Phil tried to make eye contact with their waiter, waving his arms around whenever he looked at their general direction. It took Phil a few minutes to succeed.

The waiter dropped the bill on their table and took their plates, asking them if they enjoyed their meal. Both of them gave unenthusiastic responses, but the waiter didn’t seem to mind. As he left, Phil reached for his wallet, and took out his credit card. Dan followed suit.

“So, how are we gonna split this bill?” Dan asked as he fumbled for his credit card within his wallet full of random receipts and cards. He should really consider sorting it out.

Phil pushed Dan’s hands away and placed his own credit card on top of the bill. “No, I’m paying for the whole thing.” In a softer voice, he added, “This is a date, remember?” Dan decided it was best not to argue.

They took a taxi home since neither of them had the energy to do all the leg work, plus it was raining this time. They didn’t have an umbrella with them, which got them drenched as they hopped in and out of the taxi. Fuck London weather.

When they trudged through the second flight of stairs towards their flat, Phil said, “So, what did you think of our date? What was your favorite part? Would you recommend it to a friend?”

Dan said, through deep breaths, “The date was nice, I guess. Great location. Great food,” he added, in a lower voice, “Great you.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, because I did too.”

Dan was running out of breath, but it didn’t stop him from making a sarcastic comment. “I’m glad you did, Dora. My favorite part was when we went to the huge ass piñata.” Phil just giggled.

When they finally approached the door to their flat, Dan leaned on the wall as he fumbled for the keys in his pockets. He lazily unlocked the door, tossing the keys onto the coffee table as soon as he went in. He looked back, realizing that Phil remained outside the door. Dan knew better than to ask why wasn’t he coming in.

“What? No goodbye kiss?” Phil asked, leaning against the doorframe and pouting.

Dan rolled his eyes. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for pretending again. “If you don’t come in, I’m literally slamming the door at your face.” He walked back and held onto the doorknob, taunting Phil that he was gonna do it any second now. There was no way Phil was serious about kissing him.

“Come on, Dan. You gotta experience all the first date basics.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Dan asked, “Is it completely necessary to kiss on the first date?”

Phil shrugged. “It’s how you know if a second date is on the table.”

“You’ll know it if the date went well,” Dan argued.

“Well, if Sarah Michelle Gellar was terrible snogger, which is highly unlikely, I won't go for a second date.”

Dan thought about it for a few seconds before he released a forced sigh. “Fine. You’re the expert, after all,” Dan said casually, even if in reality, his blood was running cold inside him. He willed his feet to take a step closer towards Phil, and stared at him straight in the eye.

Phil was the first to lean in. He didn’t have to crane his neck upwards; Dan’s posture was so bad that they had the same height. As their lips met, Dan’s heart pounded against his chest — he was afraid that Phil could feel it too. His brain short circuited that he was basically just as useful as a pile of mush. The only thoughts that ran in his head was how soft Phil’s lips were, and how fantastic he was at snogging. If this was the real thing, Dan would be begging for a second date.

Dan broke away first, gasping for air and keeping his eyes shut while he tried to regain his bearings. When he did open his eyes, he saw Phil watching him with a dark look in his eyes. The silence was unbearable; the only sound heard was of the radiator humming softly in the background. Dan could hear his own blood roaring in his ears.

“Phil,” Dan croaked, losing his voice as his eyes lingered down to Phil’s faintly pink lips.

Phil huffed and pushed Dan further into the flat to let himself in, slamming the door behind him. He grabbed Dan by the back of his neck and pulled him in for a bruising kiss, and it felt so much more mind-blowing than the previous one . Dan felt himself being pushed backwards until his back hit the wall, which benefitted Dan a lot because his legs were probably about to give out as Phil nibbled roughly at Dan’s lower lip. Dan laid his palms flat on the wall as he tried to fight the urge to thrust his hips upward, but Phil’s ministrations were playing with his hormones. He felt like a teenage boy again.

Dan whined embarrassingly as Phil broke away. He took a full step back and smiled cockily at Dan, running his thumb over Dan’s lip. “That’s how you kiss on a first date.”

Dan groaned, slumping on the wall and covered his face with his hands. He babbled incoherently, “ Wha ? First date? That?”

“The first one was,” Phil answered nonchalantly.

Dan dropped his hands to his sides and lowered his gaze to Phil’s feet, licking his lips slowly. “And?”

“The second was just to, you know, get your attention.” It was barely a whisper, but Dan heard it perfectly clear. Shit.

Dan raised his eyebrows, keeping his eyes glued to the ground, and said, “Well, you succeeded there, buddy.” He was surprised that he managed to say a full sentence.

He heard Phil sigh. “I love you, Dan. I just don’t really know how to say it to you straight.”

Dan laughed nervously, thinking that he’s just hallucinating or Phil was probably joking. “T-tell it to me… gay then,” he spluttered, earning a laugh from Phil.

Dan regretted saying that, so naturally, he decided to cover his mistake up by talking more nonsense. “You I know what? All this talk and shit is making me hungry. Are you hungry? We’re hungry. Leggo.” He headed for the lounge, feeling Phil trail silently behind him, and paced back and forth. He scolded himself for suggesting this. They literally just ate twenty minutes ago. “D’you want anything to eat in particular?”

Phil looked at him from head to toe and answered, “You?”

Dan groaned as he blushed. If Phil was trying to fluster him, he was doing an exceptional job. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it.

“Pizza!” Dan exclaimed, grabbing his laptop and sitting on his sofa crease. “Let’s do Pizza Hut.” He fumbled as he typed the website. “Any toppings you want in particular?”

Phil sat on the other end of the sofa and patted his legs. “I want you on top of me. Is that available?”

“Stop that!” Dan yelped.

“Stop what?” Phil asked with a giggle.

“Stop flirting with me.”

“If you stop being adorable, I might.” Phil slowly scooted closer towards Dan and closed his laptop, taking it from his lap and placing it on the table. He moved a bit more until their legs touched. Dan tried his best not to look at him, but he could feel Phil stare at him.

“Phil,” he whined, covering his face once more. He can’t believe this was happening. Phil Lester. Flirting with him. The thought felt even more surreal when Phil started trailing kisses down Dan’s neck.

Phil leaned back a bit and met Dan’s eyes, asking worriedly, “Do you like me, Dan?”

He couldn’t conjure the voice to answer so he just nodded his head. It was a good thing Phil was more confident to do all the talking, otherwise they’d just be staring at each other the whole time. Phil’s features softened and he gave Dan an earnest smile, one that could make anyone melt. Dan was glad he’s the only person that could see this right now. He gravitated closer towards Phil and met his lips for a passionate kiss. At this point, Dan became obsessed with kissing him that he just kept wanting more.

When they pulled away, Phil said, “Did you know that you burn two calories for kissing per minute?

“Okay?” Dan responded slowly.

“Well, you can burn a hundred calories from sex. I just want to be more productive.”

“ Phil. ”

[theragamuffininitiative]

Newsies Live, a review of sorts

So it’s looking like the reply I wrote up last night for @party-with-books on mobile, during a wifi issue, is just not going to ever post and is lost to the netherworld, which is unfortunate because, even if nothing I said was coherent, I wrote it while everything was still fresh and I was still on the most beautiful ecstasy high - the kind you can’t get arrested for. But I’m gonna try to do the play justice here, and using a lot of gifs, XD so we shall see.

Guys. Guys. Guuuuyyysssss. I just can’t. Let me start by saying I have never seen a stage production of Newsies. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack for months, but for a lot of the bits the stage show has added or edited from the original film’s story, I had absolutely zero context for, and the soundtrack is sadly missing like a crap ton of reprises. Therefore, if you care about spoilers, I suggest you stop reading this and wait for the dvd to come out or something, because I don’t feel like holding anything back.

After that note, where the heck do I even begin? The production itself. And by that, I don’t just mean the sets and the cast and the lighting and the camera. Nah, primarily at this point, I mean Spectacle.

I’ve now seen a good number of shows, in various formats, but none of them have been so energetic, alive, and overwhelming. The dancing is superb. I know for the filming they pulled out all the stops, with bigger leaps, more twirls, and a larger number of Newsies on stage, and let me tell you, IT WAS WORTH IT. A stage filled with forty or more singing, tap-dancing, leaping Newsies is a sight to behold.

I mean, there was this:

This is Ryan Steele, as Specs, doing the full-out twirl. Our Specs was played by the amazing Jordan Samuels, but it’s a different cast member entirely who performs this move, and we get a sky high view of the spin, which I’m pretty sure is faster and longer, and the entire theater gasped and applauded.

There were hundreds and hundreds of flips, spins, cartwheels, splits, jumps, tricks, and moves I cannot name. There was tap dancing on tables. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A DANCING TROUPE OF THIS LEVEL OF EXCELLENCE IN SUCH AN EXTRAVAGANT SHOWING EVER.

The set and staging was absolutely dynamite, and it will never cease to astound me how theatrical productions can amass an entire world on a few hundred feet of stage.

Near the end of “Once and For All” the Newsies completely drop out on the vocals and then come roaring back in, and again, my entire theater gasped in awe and delight, and I was crying and covered in goosebumps.

As for Jack...

Jeremy Jordan is the definitive Jack Kelly for me, okay?

If you’re a die hard Christian Bale or Corey Cott fan or anyone else, I’m sorry, but it’s true. There will never be another player who so fully encompasses that role for me. His Jack is so intense and passionate the. entire. time. Every single thing he says and does. The only moments we see him physically relax at all are when he’s with Crutchie (and we’re too busy crying to notice) or sharing the stage with Katherine.

And that brings me to Katherine Plumber. I was not especially anticipating her role, I have to admit. I love my Denton too much, and I was horribly concerned that the romantic angle between her and Jack would be too strong, taking away from the real love story of the play, that of this family whose name is Newsies. But I couldn’t be happier with her character and Kara Lindsay’s performance. She was amazing, and I could feel the rest of the audience connecting with her too. “Watch What Happens” is just one of her shining moments, and I am in love with her, and so happy of the way the writers brought her character in.

It’s also beautiful to weave in the feminine vocals of Katherine with the only other female singing cast member, Medda Larkin (our very own being played by Aisha de Haas) in the middle of all those guys. Don’t get me wrong, because the Newsies chorus is the epitome of what makes the show so great, but having those softer moments and the gals singing brings enough of a change that it completely enlivens every other male vocal in the story.

Okay, enough being calm, rational, and technical for a minute. Let me “be real.”

I Am Not Okay. Not in this or any other universe will I ever be the same.

(The rest of this post is probably going to just be me screaming at random about different things.)

CRUTCHIE. HOLY COW. CRUTCHIE MY BABY. “Letter From the Refuge” absolutely killed me. THE FREAKIN ATTACK ON CRUTCHIE FREAKIN KILLED ME. Just him standing with Jack in the prologue with “Santa Fe.” THERE ARE NO GIFS FOR THIS. Andrew Keenan Bolger is of such high caliber, I can’t even begin to describe how much I love him in this role.

I BASICALLY CRIED SO HARD WHEN THE BULLS CLOSE IN ON THE NEWSIES. AND WHEN JACK SEES THEY HAVE CRUTCHIE. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE SICK.

Oh, yeah, also, little itty bitty detail here i was completely unaware of BROADWAY VERSION JACK KELLY IS A FLIPPIN ARTIST?????!!!! LIKE WHAT????!!!! OH.MY.GOSH. I LOVE THIS ANGLE SO MUCH. KAJLLGDFHLJFGHIERUNZUIZLGRF. HE’S PAINTING SANTA FE GUYS. LSLDGJAGKJHRUIGKNG. During “I Never Planned On You” he draws Katherine and the LED screen that assisted the set showed him sketching her as they talked and sang AND IDK IF THAT HAPPENS USUALLY IN THE STAGE PRODUCTION BUT I AND MY FRIEND AND PROBABLY EVERYONE ELSE WAS LIKE “HOLY CRAP AWWWW OHMYGOSH HOW PRECIOUS HOW PURE I’M NOT CRYING AT ALL NO” SO YEAH THAT IS A THING THAT  HAPPENED.

Little Les is amazing. Like, in the old movie, he wasn’t so much a character as a plot device. He was literally the little boy with the cute face who could sell the papes. In this, Les is the one who strikes up the deal with Jack, and Les is the one who shouts a message for Pulitzer as the guard closes the door in their faces. He is so precocious and adorable and perfect, and so much more a character in his own right, I am so pleased.

DID I MENTION BEN FANKHAUSER AS DAVEY???

HIS SINGING. HIS ACTING. HIS CHARACTER AND INTERACTIONS WITH JACK AND LES. The confrontation between him and Jack later on when Davey is trying to get Jack to rejoin the Strike, and he says “it’s not like anyone died” and Jack whirls on him in rage, because of what happened to Crutchie, who could very well die at that point. I COULDN’T HANDLE. And when Davey reminds him what they’re fighting for, and why they shouldn’t stop. PERFECT BOYS, PERFECT.

AND I ALMOST FORGOT RACETRACK LAJKDHF. Race is my favorite Newsie from the old movie, and I was not disappointed by him here. Benjamin Cook is an adorable angel and my favorite bit of him probably has to be when he is staring wide-eyed at Governor Roosevelt at the end, so happy and in awe. Unfortunately I can’t find any gifs of him either arg.

AND SPOT, HOW COULD I MISS SPOT CONLON Tommy Bracco’s performance left nothing to be desired, he was as spot-on as his character’s name. WE ARE BROOKLYN NEWSIES

Oh.

Oh, and then there was This:

I HATE/LOVE THIS PART OF THE STORY SO MUCH. When Pulitzer forces Jack’s hand, makes him face the Newsies and turn on them, in order to save them and save Crutchie and Davey and Les, but Pulitzer also gives him money to go to Santa Fe and that is all the Newsies ever see. LKDJFLHDHFAJDHFLA MY HEART HURTS

I love Jack Kelly more than Raoul or the Phantom, or Dimitri, or Valjean or Marius or Enjolras, or even arguably Fiyero. I feel every single beat of “Santa Fe” as it blooms and changes from dream to dust to dream.

I adore how the stage version plays up the affect the Newsies strike had on child laborers everywhere, how Jack proclaims it isn’t only Newsies’ rights they’re striking for.

The singing was absolutely flawless. Flawless I tell you.

IDK GUYS I JUST DON’T HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS OK

This is on par with the night I saw Wicked on tour. I will be buying the DVD. I will watch it at least once a year. I guess, if I wasn’t before, I’m a Fansie now.

So, yeah, to close: I don’t think I will ever find another thing on this earth that impacts every bit of my soul as much as musical theater does. That is a part of me I will never outgrow, and never give up. Doesn’t matter if I ever make it to see a show on Broadway, or if I ever get on behind the scenes at a theater company. This is me.

This is an experience I want to relive every day for as many days as I have. I laughed, I cried, I came home to my roomies in such a state of embarrassed, blissful exhilaration you’d think I just came home from my first date with the love of my life - which is a completely accurate comparison.

I cried so much, I laughed so hard. #NewsiesForever and all that. There is so much more I could say, so much I feel like I am completely leaving out. But truthfully, when it comes right down to it, there are no words in the human language to describe this experience and how thrilled I am that I was able to go, that I live in the same universe as this caliber of artistry and storytelling. This phenomenon is beyond anything I can say, so I’ll stop trying. ;)

I hope that answers anyone’s questions to whether or not I enjoyed Newsies Live.

[reduxroyal]

What are you thoughts on fire emblem heroes so far? And who's on your team?

lol okay buckle the fuckle in kids this is gonna be a ride

(also thank you for this ask and I’m sorry you’re about to get way more info than you probably wanted)

We’ll start with the short answer, so people who aren’t really here for a fucking Fire Emblem history lesson can dip:

Heroes is a fun little game that is honestly a good test to see if you’d like proper titles because the mechanics are identical. They use smaller versions of the original maps, and even pull a lot of the classic music. It’s fun, it works, and there are some nice nods to the older games. My team is Lazlow, Tiki, Niles, and Frederick, all four star or below because the gotcha gods hate me.

Here’s the long answer. Like, really long answer.

Fire Emblem is, historically, not what we’d call a raging success in the US. The first six titles were Japan-exclusive. So from 1990 until 2003, nobody in the US really knew or cared about Fire Emblem because there were no fuckin games for them to play. So what happened to change that?

Melee. Melee happened.

Marth and Roy (for whatever fucking reason I still don’t know why) were on the roster of the 2001 fighter Super Smash Bros. Melee and boy howdy were they popular. You may remember that all of their voice lines were in Japanese, and that’s because they literally didn’t have English voice actors, because there were no English Fire Emblem titles. To be fair FE didn’t use cutscenes at that point so there were probably no voice actors period but like whatever.

So Roy and Marth become like, overnight sensations, and that coupled with the success of Intelligent System’s other tactical RPG, Advance Wars, prods Nintendo to give it a shot and release Blazing Blade internationally for the GBA in 2003. Blazing Blade is the story of Eliwood, Roy’s father, as well as Lyn and Hector, two other big names in FE lore.

But Blazing Blade only sells so-so. In fact, over the next eleven years, Fire Emblem hits a slump, both in Japan and abroad. Titles like Sacred Stones (the first video game I ever played) Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn (why would you put a tactical RPG on anything other than a handheld literally why why why it makes no sense omfg) and Shadow Dragon (which is a rehash of the first game, Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light) all do pretty mediocre.

So now the year is like 2010-ish and FE’s not picking up it’s lost revenue or interest, so Intelligent Systems starts planning what is essentially going to be the franchise’s finale, and that’s Fire Emblem Awakening. Intelligent Systems pulls out all the fuckin stops to make the best game they possibly can so it will be a proper last hurrah. If Awakening didn’t sell well, Fire Emblem was going to be shelved forever.

Awakening, of course, due to many things like good advertising, the right platform, a really fucking solid game with cool new mechanics, likeable characters, a decent plot, and fucking gorgeous cutscenes, becomes the best-selling game in Fire Emblem’s twenty-three year history. Which leads to the somewhat awkward question of what the fuck do you do when the thing that was supposed to be your franchise’s finale becomes the most popular installment of the whole goddamn series?

Well, if you’re Nintendo, you try to recreate it.

That’s what Fates is: a recreation. They (understandably) want to make that magic happen again. So they put together the same artists, a lot of the same voice actors, and everyone’s favorite marriage-to-child mechanic (that just does not make sense in Fates okay I’m sorry I love it and I’m here for it but we all need to agree that it just doesn’t make sense) and Fates does pretty well. Fire Emblem’s back in business.

But you’re left in this curious situation where more than half of your fanbase is only familiar with two out of fourteen titles, so it’s hard to decide where to go. Awakening and Fates are not traditional Fire Emblem games. They are so very, very different in so many ways. The pace of the games, the length of the games, the unit-recruiting process, roster size, the way Support works, even the buying and selling and acquisition of weapons like…there’s just this huge gap. How do you bridge it?

A…mobile game, I guess?

Which like don’t get me wrong, Heroes’ shortcomings have nothing to do with its platform. Like I said before: it’s cute and it’s competent. My issue lies more in the marketing of the game.

I’m sure we all remember the polls that went on to decide which Fire Emblem greats were going to be playable characters in the game, right? And you could pick anyone. Literally anyone. It didn’t matter if they were only apart of your roster for a map and a half. It didn’t matter if they were an enemy unit. It didn’t matter if they were some like, random archer you got in the third chapter so you could learn about ranged attacks. You could vote for any character from any Fire Emblem game, period.

Except, that means it’s essentially boiling down to a popularity contest between twelve practically unknown or rarely known Fire Emblem titles and the two newest, best-selling, fan favorites. Which isn’t upsetting so much as it is, like, dumb? Like of course the majority of people are gonna vote for Chrom and Camilla, that’s what they know. One of the best Fire Emblem characters (in my opinion) is Prince Innes, from Sacred Stones. He has a hilariously arrogant attitude, is bold and brash, and a sick fucking sniper who constantly insists he should be on the front lines and not in the back of the party with the rest of the ranged attackers.

Innes, of course, didn’t make the list. Because ten out of the chosen twenty male heroes were from Awakening or Fates (that ratio is 13:20 for the ladies if you were curious) So this game that was intended to like, I don’t even know, revive interest in old games or at least make them relevant, ends up not really doing that at all. Especially because out of the first eight chapters (that’s as far as I’ve gotten) four of ‘em explore the worlds of Awakening and Fates.

What about Path of Radiance? What about Sacred Stones? What about literally anything besides the last two games in the franchise because it’s not that I don’t like those games, it’s that you promised me a game that embraced all of Fire Emblem, and this ain’t it. Also you went to the trouble of giving Eirika official art and she’s not even a character you can draw what the actual fuck is she in this game or nah

BASICALLY (we’re almost done you almost made it) I think it will be interesting to see how Fire Emblem: Echoes plays out. Echoes is a remake of Fire Emblem Gaiden, a 1992 Japan-only exclusive that I, personally, know nothing about, but can tell you with relative confidence that it’s not like Awakening or Fates because nothing in FE is like Awakening or Fates. It’s coming out in May of this year and like…I’m really curious to see how the “newer” (and by the way newer does not mean in any way that you’re like less of a fan. I don’t care if the only Fire Emblem game you’ve played is Awakening, I’m just fucking glad you’re playing Fire Emblem, let’s be friends) fans will like it. The official description for it is: “Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia recreates classic Fire Emblem gameplay with a modern twist, mixing in exploration of dungeons crawling with enemies.”

I have never played a FE title that had a dungeon of any kind, unless you count the Tower of Valni from Sacred Stones. I don’t even know what that means in the terms of a tactical RPG but like, I guess we’ll see. 

tl;dr I like Fire Emblem a whole lot and will always be bitter over Eirika’s bullshit outfit in Awakening’s DLC

Thanks for reading!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Hi! I’m back again! And at this point lots of things have changed in regards to this post! Most notably: Heroes has added lots of older Fire Emblem characters to the game (including Innes which makes my earlier complaint look really dumb) and Echoes came out and it’s genuinely one of the best games I’ve ever played, and easily one of the best games in FE’s franchise.

Here’s the thing that past me writing this post didn’t get: newer fans are just as invested as old fans, they just don’t have as much to be invested in yet. I can prattle on and on about Sacred Stones and Binding Blade and Shadow Dragon and all the titles I’ve played, but newer players (under-fucking-standably) aren’t going to go back and play games with bad graphics from the late 90′s and early 00′s, so they just hang out with the titles they have played, which for some people, is just Awakening, or just Fates.

Echoes was universally adored by the fanbase. There were a couple times I saw comments like “well, where’s the avatar unit?” or “why can’t I marry other units and have kids?” and like, I wanted to be mad, because those aren’t staples of Fire Emblem, but if anything it’s Nintendo’s fault for making two games back-to-back that promoted the hell out of those features. How could someone who only played Awakening and Fates (which is the majority of this game’s base) know any differently?

And Heroes has really done well with bringing in more characters from other games. Every single game in the franchise (even fucking Tharcia 776) is represented by at least two characters, and they’re always adding more. I think they’re genuinely doing the best they can to please everyone, and the only people throwing a fit are "older” fans who think they deserve more because, what? They’ve put more time in? They’ve somehow “earned” it?

Nintendo is a business, and businesses rely on popularity to fucking succeed. That’s just how it works. Like it or not, the realistic faces of this franchise are characters like Lucina, Ryoma, Corrin, Camilla, and Robin. That’s just how it works. Characters like Math and Lyn will always endue because they’ve been built up as legends, but now there’s so many new characters, and so many new fans, so of course things have to change and the attention has to shift.

And new fans are picking up the old characters just as much!! Characters that haven’t gotten fanart in a fuckin decade are suddenly getting a bunch of attention, because a new fan pulled them in Heroes, didn’t know who they were but liked their design, and went to town.

tl;dr - you aren’t more important just because you’ve “been a fan” longer, it makes complete sense that Nintendo would shift the focus to games like Awakening and Fates, and if you’re waiting for a certain character to show up in Heroes give it some time.

That’s all for real this time.

Also my new team (if anyone cares) is Innes, Leo, Azura, and Raven. I don’t want to talk about how much money I spent trying to gotcha twelve year-old video game characters.

I, uh, I just really like Fire Emblem.

also for all the Path of Raidance and Radiant Dawn fans who sent me asks saying those games were the highest-selling games for their consoles: you’re wrong, and here are the fucking receipts

[hoshidanroyal]

ROBIN, KELLAM, SULLY, RICKEN, GREGOR, and CERCHE BECAUSE I AM A NOSY LOSER

▌ FE: Awakening questions • • • ►accepting!! ▌      ↳ @thegiftedprince

▌ ROBIN  ▌ Give 1 random fact about yourself.

❝ I feel like you of all people know so much about me already. Still feeling the need to dig? ❞ he mused, nudging the other playfully in the ribs with his elbow. Back when their affections were still incipient, they’d spent hours upon hours conversing over every little thing about themselves, ranging from the most important to the most mundane. What more could Leo want to know?❝ Did I ever tell you I used to have a crush on Orochi? ❞ Bronzen gaze drifted over the elder prince, a coy smile slowly curling. While he’d grown out of that small bout of puppy-love years ago, he and the diviner still had a habit of teasing one another (even though she always managed to take it just one step too far). Now it was Leo’s turn to get his feathers ruffled, providing further entertainment for Takumi. Leaning in so as to make it appear it was truly a secret, he whispered,❝ I even considered asking my mother to arrange our marriage. ❞—( out of arrows. ) Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I’ll just give a fact relating to that. I used to hate chocolate, and would only ever eat white chocolate since it’s just sugar and cream. My taste buds changed over time, and now I can’t stomach white chocolate much since it’s a bit too sweet, but I can totally get in on milk chocolate if it’s from a high quality brand. If it has caramel, fudge, toffee, or nuts in it, then that’s even better!

THE REST ARE UNDER THE❛ READ MORE. ❜

▌ KELLAM  ▌ What is one trait of yours that you think stands out the most?

A pause hung heavy in the air, lips opening and closing while trying to formulate a proper response. Nothing came to mind, not one thing. Years spent thinking he wasn’t good enough, that he had to constantly push for respect, left his self-esteem broken. Any praise and admiration had been brushed aside, thinking that it only came from being unworthily place upon a pedestal because of his status as second prince of Hoshido. ❝ I… ❞ Lying wasn’t his strong suit, but telling the truth would only bring a cascade of unwanted affections and flattery. But, maybe Takumi would believe said words if they came from the mouth of a lover… Maybe.❝ I don’t know. That I’m standoffish, like everyone feels the need to tell me? Or that I’m only second-best compared to my siblings? Take your pick. ❞—( out of arrows. ) Physically, my hair—thick, brown, curly, and almost as long as Camilla’s, I always get comments on it. Personality-wise… I hate, hate, hate using the word❛ tsundere, ❜ but it fits me to a T, and it’s something a lot of my close friends have brought up. I’ve lost count of how many times friends have told me that on first meeting, they thought that I didn’t like them, that I was intimidating, that I was mean or too quiet or too distant. Then they were surprised that I was actually super nice and caring, and was always there when they needed help. Even though my speech is rough around the edges and I can be a little hard on others, I still earned the title of❛ the mom-friend ❜ by people I’ve been friends with for a long time.

▌ SULLY  ▌ What is something you’re secretly insecure about?

Everything. Why ask a question when the answer was well known? Teeth worried at his bottom lip, gaze cast askance. Nothing needed to be said; actions were more than enough.Everything.—( out of arrows. ) Just the usual stuff that people typically worry about, I guess—work, talents, weight, if I’m bothering friends, and so on. It’s not really a secret either, since I’m open to my insecurities if people ask, and my confidence has improved over the years.

▌ RICKEN  ▌ What is one lesson you wished everyone would learn?

Answered !!

▌ GREGOR  ▌ Tell a story of when you made an unlikely friend.

❝ Has anyone ever told you how horribly self-assured you are? ❞ he questioned, almost acidic, albeit playful.❝ You can’t really be digging for compliments here, hoping I’d tell our story. ❞❝ But Niles’, on the other hand… ❞ Lips puckered as if sucking something sour, twisting comically. With a shake of his head and shuttering sigh, Takumi ventured on, ❝ You know, your retainer’s first words to me were asking if I’d like for him to take his shirt off, right? ❞ Thus began the horrendously lurid and lengthy tale of Niles trying to work his way into the prince’s life… and, sadly, his bed, which failed with flying colors.—( out of arrows. ) I left Takumi’s story vague on purpose, since you and I are still working on building that up, lol. Anyway! My❛ unlikely friend ❜ story is from my freshman year in high school. A girl and I both liked the same boy, and it seemed as if he liked her too, and then… he stopped. He asked me out after we’d been talking for a couple months, and she hated me, always giving me dirty looks, talking behind my back (nothing major), and trying to appear intimidating whenever she’d see me. That boy stopped talking to her as well, and for the four months we dated, put all his attention on me. Even after we’d broken up, he barely talked to her, which just further riled her up. Eventually she calmed down and everything settled; nothing really happened. Fast forward two years later, her and I are in our junior year of school while my ex had graduated. She was forced to sit behind me in one of our testing rooms, and seeing that she looked uncomfortable, I… apologized, for some reason. She told me she’d been wanting to apologize to me too, since she was moving to another state and didn’t want to leave any bad blood behind. Before she moved, she gave me her number and Facebook, and we still keep in contact on a frequent basis. We text a lot, cam over Skype, and sometimes send little gifts to each through the mail. We don’t really have a lot in common, but we always find something to talk about. It’s… nice.

▌ CHERCHE  ▌ Is there anyone who you felt a natural connection to?

❝ I would say Sakura, but I have a feeling that family doesn’t count, and you’ll want me to say something else. ❞ A hum drew out as he tried to remember if there had been anyone at all he felt drawn to; one where his walls hadn’t been built up upon first meeting. He could just say Leo; fluff his partner up with compliments and warm smiles, but that would be a lie. It had taken work to even consider each other acquaintances, always casting snarls and glowers at one another before they were forced to make nice. The only person that kept flitting into mind was his younger sister, their connection stronger than any other he knew. As soon as she’d been brought into this world, he’d sworn on his life that he’d protect her from any and everything; that he’d always be there, as her brother and friend and mentor. As soon as she’d grown to recognize him, it was apparent he was her favorite as well, the connection instant. Despite his previous statement, he shrugged and added,❝ But I’m going to stick with Sakura. I haven’t felt anything like that on first meeting with anyone since. ❞—( out of arrows. ) Two people! My fiancé and a wonderful friend I met in the Star Wars fandom a little over a year ago. Our connections were instant, as if we’d known each other forever. It almost feels like we were best friends in another life or something, pfft. We just… never run out of things to talk about, it’s super rare for us to have any disagreements or squabbles, and sometimes it’s like we can finish each other’s thoughts and sentences. Both of them put me at ease when we first talked, and I didn’t feel nervous, annoyed, intimidated, or exhausted. They have no impact on my introversion, and I didn’t feel to the need to decompress after speaking to them.