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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

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Oop that's a lot of papers!

And now there's fire ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Uh oh xd that does not seem good

LOL death and taxes xDD yep

OOPE OH NO DANG

Aww poor Athena :((( that sucks </333

OOOPE 👀 the drama

I mean it makes sense to suspect but I wouldn't suspect too much

OOOOPE HE'S GONE O.O

THAT'S NOT HIM :OOOO

Wild o.o

This one's gonna be a crazy one xD

That's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I loved this episode! I thought it was great :D. The storylines fit together, and with the theme, really well :D. And since it was performance review, everyone got at least as bit :D. What a slay honestly :)). The calls were great too! Were there calls? Anyway XD. I loved all the storylines, I thought they were great :)). And AAAHHHH Ravi's back :DDD!!! Yayyy 🥰🥰!! Looks like he really needs the 118, and he may struggle a bit, but I'm just glad he's come back to us :)). I missed him <3. And I think everybody's performance reviews were pretty accurate :)!

By the way, everything from "the calls" onward is, once again, the day of the next episode xD. If "were there calls" didn't make that clear lol (or that there were at least a few days if not the whole week lol). Listen, it was show week, give me a break XD (literally no one is forcing me to do it earlier). And also I can do what I want lol.

Now it's time for the individual parts!

Ravi :DD! Like I said, I'm really glad to have him back 🥰🥰. I'm so sorry for what he went through though :((( 😭😭. He didn't deserve that <3. And like I said, I really think he needs this - he'll benefit from being back at the 118, I'm pretty darn sure :). They're his family ❤️. If he has to heal (which he does lol) this is the place for him to do it :'). It better all work out though lol - we're keeping him this time <333. Anyway, even if it's not his calling, he was great at his job :D. I love him 🥰.

Okay I had some stuff to do so now I have like an hour while doing something else soo the rest of these will be short xD.

Maddie! We didn't see much of her this episode, but she was great 🥰. And the SINGINGGGG :DDDD. Lovely :'DDDD. Her voice is amazing <33. The same week as Grace, too :D!! That call was so sweet :')). And I'm happy for that kid, I hope he did well!!!! I'm sure he did :D 🥰. And the scene with Jee, AAAAHHHHHHHH 🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍🤩🤩. I love them :'))). Anyway, she was great at her job, as always :D. I love her 🥰.

Athena! We didn't see her much this episode, but she was great :)). She was great at her job :))! I love her 🥰🥰🥰. I might add more later when I remember what she was doing this episode lol. I'm nervous for next episode though o.o. But yeah, she slays :DD.

Buck! He was great this episode :)). I don't remember much about him this episode, but I will say BUDDIEEEE!!!! PLEASE. We need it xD. Anyway, to be fair sir you did just die recently xD. But, yeah :). He was great at his job! I love them 🥰🥰.

Hen! Girl is going through it for real xD. But she's trying her best <3. I hope that dinner went well :)). And I'm glad she decided to stop trying to perform as much for him - no offense to him, but he's not worth it. I don't think they should be hostile xD, but they're inviting him into their house lol. I hope it gets a bit better though :)). Anyway, OBVIOUSLY she slays 🥰🥰. With the performance review I mean lol. So, clearly, she was amazing at her job 🥰🥰. I love her so much :DD ❤️.

Bobby! Man was going through it this episode too XDD. But in a much more lighthearted way LOL xD. He did finally get the performance review though :')) :DD. Anyway, I love how scheming with Chimney lol XD. I mean, more like about Chimney xD. But I'm glad it worked out :). Anyway! He was great at his job this episode :DD. I love him 🥰🥰🥰.

Chimney! He was so great this episode :D. I loved seeing him be in charge - even if he doesn't like it, he's great at it :). He deserves it 🥰. And I hope it helped him :')). Even if the main idea was (ooh segue) to get Ravi back lol. Which I'm SO GLAD he did :'DDD. Really proud of him 🥰🥰. And I'm so glad he helped that recruit :D. He'll be a great 911 operator :)). I'm so happy for him 🥰🥰. Anyway, yeah :D, back to Chimney lol. He was great at his job this episode :)). I love him ❤️❤️🥰.

Eddie! DATE BUUUUUCK!!! Anyway, he was great this episode :)). I still need to watch the beginning, I meant to do it while writing this but I was busy lol. Anyway! I'll add more later lol. I love him 🥰🥰❤️. He better not date that girl though lol.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! I loved all the storylines :D. And I'm so glad we have Ravi back!! Anyway, we got a nice even focus this episode :)). The next episode looks wild o.o. But yeah, I thought everything form this episode fit really well :)).

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was really great. I'm excited for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 14: Performance Anxiety

It was great! The next episode looks pretty crazy. I'm a bit nervous, but excited. I'll be back next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 14: Death and Taxes

See you next week!

#9-1-1 #911 #911 on fox #911onfox #gayfirefightershow #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #loved it!! the next episode's just starting so yeah lol I'll come back with more later but 10/10 :))#I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!

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brendaaaa · 3 years

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You’ll Be N-A-S-A (Will Byers x gender-neutral!Reader)

A/n: Heavily inspired by Ariana Grande’s NASA

You crossed your arms, grouchy and pissed off. You loved Will, sure. Probably more than you loved anyone else. But if he would just give you five minutes...five minutes to yourself, you’d love him a whole lot more.

There was nothing wrong with spending time with your significant other. In fact, that was what made a relationship healthy.

But there was a point where you felt like you needed space. Personal time for yourself. Or maybe a chance to hang out with people other than Will.

You tried to be accommodating. You knew that you were Will’s support anchor, his comfort blanket or whatever, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t live out your own life.

You sighed, glancing at him. He was cuddled up into your side, arms wrapped around your waist. From where you were positioned, you really couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.

His slow, steady breathing suggested he was snoozing, but then again, He-Man was on TV. It would be extremely out of character for Will to miss that.

Shit. He was so cute all curled up like that. See, this was your recurring issue. You recognized that you and Will needed to set up some boundaries, but whenever you got to the actual talking-about-your-problems, he would do something cute and your whole plan would fall apart.

You gave in to his adorableness for just a minute, brushing his hair out of his face. He looked up at you, smiling. Ah. So he was awake.

You cleared your throat, feeling brave.

“Will?”

“Yes?”

“Uh...can we talk?”

He frowned, and looked back to what was happening on the screen. “After this episode?”

You sighed, grabbing the remote and shutting the TV off.

He scowled at you, “Hey, I was watching that.”

“Sorry,” you rubbed your temples, “I just really need to talk to you.”

“About what?” His eyes locked onto yours, concerned.

“Um..I just think that, I’d rather be alone tonight…” you attempted a feeble smile, trying not to upset him.

His brow furrowed. “So...you won’t stay the night?”

Sleepovers were quite a regular thing between the two of you. Almost every night, in fact. Will slept better with you. That’s partially why you felt so guilty about wanting alone time, if it was at the cost of his sleep.

You shook your head, “It’s not you, I swear to god.”

Will huffed, “Oh lemme guess, then it’s you. Classic, y/n, just classic.”

“No,” you protested. “It’s not either of us. There’s nothing wrong with our relationship!” You bit your tongue after you said that. Way to go, y/n. ‘There’s nothing wrong with our relationship!’ Yeah right.

“Well there is, but...I just, I think I’ll say I love you through the phone tonight?” You said it in a questioning manner, and Will shook his head.

“What did I do?” He pleaded. “Please tell me, I’ll try to change,” he said it so sweetly it made you feel even worse.

“There’s nothing wrong. Not with you, not with me. I just want to be alone.”

His face fell, and he stared rather angrily at the blank tv screen.

“I mean think about,” you said eagerly, trying to find a silver lining for Will to hold onto, “How can i miss you if I’m always with you? Or you know, when I’m missing you, I bet it’ll change the way I kiss you,” You smirked a little, punching him lightly in the arm.

He didn’t respond, just crossed his arms, sulking.

“Will…” you whined. “I’m sorry, I just- I mean, you know what they say...time apart is beneficial!”

He scoffed, “Yeah right. I bet you’re just using all this wanting to be alone stuff as an excuse to dump me.”

Your jaw dropped, “What?? Will- no…”

“Let me finish,” he said sharply. “I know exactly what you’re going to do! You’ll stop hanging out with me, and then, and then,” he gestured wildly with his hands, “when I bring it up, you’ll just say,” he used his fingers to form quotation marks, “we grew apart. Where is this bullshit coming from, y/n?”

You gaped, not believing what you were hearing. This was the exact reason you didn’t want to confront Will about what you were feeling, this is what you had feared would happen.

“Will...just, think of it like this,” you tried one last time, “It’s like I’m the universe and you’ll be NASA,” you said, trying to pull at something he liked, space, to make him understand.

“That doesn’t make sense,” he said crossly.

“Sure it does. NASA visits space, the universe, but it’s not like, permanently out in space. Just like us. We’re still dating, but we don’t spend every second together. We get our own time…”

You gave him a moment. He seemed to be processing this, as he watched you carefully.

He inhaled, and you subconsciously crossed your fingers in preparation of what he was going to say next.

“I call bullshit.” He stood up, and you tried to grab his arm, but he shoved you off of him, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

You dropped your head into your hands, groaning. Why couldn’t Will get over the fact that you were just on another page?

{ 1 week later }

You grinned as you adjusted the lens on your camera. Who knew that you would already have a new hobby a mere week after you started spending time on your own?

Your smile fell off of your face as you replayed the conversation in your head.

You kept telling yourself that you and Will were still together, that you weren’t broken up, but Will hadn’t spoken to you since the fall-out. You were beginning to lose hope that he was ever going to call you, or maybe apologize for how he freaked out.

You put your camera down, letting it hang around your neck. As much as you tried to convince yourself that you were fine, a tear slipped down your cheek.

“Hey, y/n!” A familiar voice called out, and you spun around, face to face with Jonathan Byers.

“Oh, hey!” You waved.

“I didn’t know you were into photography,” he pointed to your camera, a smile playing on his face.

“Oh yeah, I only started recently,” you tucked your hair behind your ear. “I just thought I would take some photos of these,” you gestured to the wildflowers growing off the trail.

“That’s a good idea,” he said encouragingly. “Floral photographers are really making a profit around here,” he told you with a wink, “It’s a good field to get into.”

“Oh,” you laughed, “I don’t- I’m not, uh, it’s just a hobby,” you explained.

“Ah,” he nodded. “Well, me too,” he gestured to his bag, which you noticed was perfectly molded to fit a camera.

“Cool…” you said, rather awkwardly now that it seemed you had nothing left to talk about.

He cleared his throat, “Um, I haven’t seen you around as much recently. Everything okay with you and Will?”

You nodded, putting on a smile. He raised an eyebrow, and you looked away.

“Okay, no,” you admitted. “I don’t know what’s up with him.”

Jonathan frowned. “Anything I should talk to him about?”

“Maybe,” you shrugged one shoulder up. “I just, we were spending sooo much time together, I felt like I never got to be alone.”

Jonathan nodded to show he was listening.

“And then when I tried bringing it up to him, he totally freaked out on me. He thought I was trying to break up or something. And now, he’s basically broken up with me,” you said sadly. “I keep waiting for him to call me, but he doesn’t.”

Jonathan made a face, “I’ll talk to him. I know I should probably be taking his side, since I’m his brother and all, but it’s not fair to you. There’s no contract that says you have to spend all your time with Will. He’s probably just paranoid. He gets nervous about this stuff. I’ll talk to him,” Jonathan said firmly.

“Thanks…” you smiled shyly. “But please don’t make him feel bad. I just want him to understand that I still care about him.”

“Will do,” Jonathan said, patting your shoulder. “Good to see you around, y/n.”

{ The next day }

You were tidying up your bedroom when you heard a knock on your window. You hurried over, and looked out to see Will.

It was strange to see him, after such a long period of no contact.

He looked sad and guilty, rather than the angry facade worn by the boy you had seen storming away from you. He looked ready to talk.

You unlocked it, and allowed him to climb in. Benefits of having a ground floor bedroom. No need for dangerous vine-climbing Romeo and Juliet shit.

“Hi,” you said awkwardly once he was in the room. You shoved your hands into your front pockets, watching him directly. He kept his eyes on the floor.

“Hi,” he said quietly.

“Uh, what’s up?”

He looked up at you for the first time, and you were surprised to see his eyes were glassy and tear-filled.

He rushed into your arms, engulfing you into one of the best hugs you’d ever received.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed into your shoulder, “I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you assured, hugging him back, keeping one hand on the back of his head and another on his lower back.

“No it’s not,” he whispered, pulling out of the hug to let your foreheads meet.

“Y/n, I was so stupid. I understand if you want to break up with me for real.”

You frowned, getting a bit emotional yourself, “No, I-,” your voice cracked a little. “I don’t want that.”

“Did Jonathan talk to you?” You asked carefully.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding and in doing so moving your head up and down with him. “I’m such a loser. I can’t believe I was so blind to see that you just wanted a little time for your own.”

You grinned through the tears that were now escaping your own eyes, “So you get it now? I’ll be the universe and you’ll be-“

“NASA,” he finished for you, and pulled you back into a hug.

You smiled over his shoulder. It felt good to be understood now. If you had known that it would only take a little nudge in the right direction from a sibling, you would have talked to Jonathan ages ago.

If you gave Will your whole world, you would need space. But you really did want to give Will your whole world. Now that he was ready to give you the space you needed, everything was good.

Word Count: 1802

#will byers #will byers x reader #will byers x gender neutral reader #nasa #ariana grande #songfic #stranger things #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #the party

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templedragon · 3 years

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Supergirl 6x09 Dream Weaver

Batwoman did corruption in the prison and orphan system than Supergirl. For starters, Batwoman did a whole season on them as the main character had experienced them. Kara is a hollow shell here. Given she just got out of her Phantom Zone prison, the idea she would send people back to a place that exploited them to death is inconsistent. It's not the Kara of season 1, whose main task in becoming Supergirl was rounding up escaped prisoners, and listening to them to see if they were wrongly incarcerated (and letting them go). Supergirl standing on the side of free prisoners to ensure their continued freedom would be a powerful message, not feeding people back into a system designed to promote inequality and exploitation. Kara does take after her parents in letting the system go unchecked, whether it's filling up prisons or harming the environment. We know how that turned out.

More characters are talking about their Phantom Dreams. Last week it was Nia and Lena (who both went from 'this is our found family' to 'I want my birth family' in rapid turnaround), who are isolated from the main cast this episode. Lena literally absent, though connected to Kara as she informs everyone at games' night that she is 'East' looking for her birth mother (apparently she is looking in all European colonised countries with Irish slave populations, starting with Newfoundland). Nia is being lead astray by Nyxly to get out of the dream world and restore her magic, in exchange for one day with Nia's mother. Um, what on Earth can be taught in one day to get Nia up to speed with her dream powers? And what would it matter when she's ignoring the owl symbolic messages here? And why would a Harry Potter fan (seems suspect now the author is transphobic and still benefitting financially from it) kill Hedwig?

The isolation of Nia means she's not reporting with Kara at CatCo. I've said it numerous times before, a reporter that can dream the future and scan the present for psychic clues makes a human reporter redundant. While William is inoffensive in his actions here by doing his job, the point remains it should be Nia doing it.

Despite the title Dream Weaver, the big story in this episode is Kelly deciding to become Guardian. While Kara feeds prisoners back into their cells, and openly uses her powers in a place full of cameras, Kelly is using camera footage to hold abusive care providers accountable by getting them arrested. First day in social care - go you first Ethiopian lesbian super hero! Not that anyone but die hard fans would tune in, as the CW did zero promotion of this episode, and Azie Tesfai herself came online to express her disappointment (as well as share amazing fan art). Meanwhile, fans trended 'Guardian is Coming' worldwide at number 6. Motorbike, check. Brother's hand me down helmet, check. Supportive girlfriend saying training will be tough when she's ex-military... check? Discharge flag is over the fireplace of your new shared apartment, so even Alex with her memory issues should remember that.

Blink and you'll miss it, but there's a supercorp parallel on the Tower balcony, with girlfriends giving pep talks while the other cries.

Brainy is officially homeless and jobless.

#supergirl #supergirl season 6 #episode review #6x09 Dream Weaver #Kelly Olsen #Golden Guardian #Dansen #Alex Danvers #Kara Danvers #Supercorp #CatCo #andrea rojas #J'onn J'onzz #William Dey #Nia Nal #Dreamer #nyxlygsptlnz

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apiratewhopines · 3 years

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Thanks to @teamhook for the artwork and for helping me pick a movie that wasn’t already done!

Midnight

Chapter 6 — The Mice

Summary: In which our heroine wins the battle but loses the war

Chapter 6 of 7 on AO3

“The way you changed my life

No, no, they can’t take that away from me”

-They Can’t Take That Away from Me, Fred Astaire

After the excitement of the morning passed, Sidney grumbled until they returned to the table. Still shaken by whatever Arthur said on their brief phone call, Killian declined to join them and returned to their room. No doubt to dream up a make-believe pregnancy for her. Most probably twins this time.

“I thought you told me we would have smoked salmon for our bagels,” the man complained to Guin, face upset as if the plentiful choices offered on their breakfast buffet were insufficient.

“I’m sorry, dear. I know it’s your favorite, so I made sure it was on the menu I gave to our chef,” she murmured coaxingly. Looking at the butler who was filling Arthur’s coffee cup, she asked, “What happened to the salmon?”

“There was a mistake, ma’am. It was left out of the last delivery, and since the phones have been out all morning, we couldn’t contact the market. I’ve sent one of the girls into town to buy some, so we will have it tomorrow morning. If the gentleman prefers, we can prepare a plate for him this afternoon.”

“Nonsense,” she replied. “The phones are in perfect working order. We just made a call to Europe to check on the Baron’s daughter.”

“No, ma’am, only the internal phone system is working. An accident took out the lines last night.”

Emma reached over and grabbed Arthur’s hand under the table as they shared an uneasy look when the other three people at the table all glanced at her with questions in their eyes. Lance broke the silence. “I don’t understand…”

“I’m afraid he’s right. I wasn’t on the phone with my mother-in-law. In fact, I don’t— No, I don’t want to burden you with my problems,” she said haltingly, her mind racing with ways to get out of this mess. The words tumbled from her mouth so quickly she didn’t have a chance to think through the consequences, which seemed to be the way she operated these days.

“Oh, please, you can’t stop now. This little mystery is the only thing distracting me from my lack of fish,” Sidney countered. He was studying the wide variety of fruit compotes and toppings for his pancakes and sounded desolate. “Please.”

“Well, let’s just say the Baron’s family has a touch of eccentricity,” she continued with a grimace. She had their rapt attention; even Sidney abandoned his food and gawked at her. “My first hint was at the wedding. I was opening the gifts, and his grandfather gave us a broken compass covered in Thousand Island dressing.”

“Yes,” Arthur broke in, determined to help. “Now I remember hearing there was a streak of madness in the family. His father was known as the Mad Baron of Cambridge. He liked to give people roller skates with missing laces instead of flowers.”

“The truth is…we don’t have a daughter.”

“Oh, this is much more delicious than breakfast,” Sidney gushed, pushing his plate away and moving to the seat across from her. “Tell us more.”

“I don’t want you to think bad of him. Most of the time, he’s lucid and the sweetest man in the world. That’s the man I fell in love with. But when he’s having one of his episodes, like this morning, he can get quite aggressive if confronted. It’s best to go along with whatever he’s saying. It always starts when he first wakes as if he can’t shake some odd dream in his mind,” she grabbed her napkin and dabbed at fake tears. “There was one time about six months ago he woke up convinced he was Captain Hook. He wore eyeliner for weeks and refused to use his left hand. When I tried to make him see reason, he insisted I call him Captain and tried to have me arrested as a mutineer.”

“You poor thing,” Guin said, genuine sympathy in her expression. “I wondered why you called him that. I thought perhaps he served in the Navy.”

“And you’ve stayed with him all these years?” Lance’s gaze, which was always admiring, held a new respect for her now. It didn’t make her feel any better. “You’re wonderful.”

“Hmm, yes, absolutely amazing,” Arthur murmured under his breath. The smirk was back, and she could tell he was enjoying her web of lies. At least someone was. “Is there some medication he can take? Perhaps you should have him committed.”

“No, I would never. I promised to stay with Killian in good times and bad. It will pass eventually. It always does,” she bit out, kicking him under the table. Before anything else could be said, she heard the Captain whistling as he practically skipped out of the house toward them dressed in the sky blue scrubs of a surgeon. The color made his eyes even more beautiful, and the tiniest smattering of hair visible above the v-neck of the shirt did things to her heart.

“Arthur, Guinevere, thank you for the hospitality, but we really must be going. I have to get back for my shift at the hospital.” Everyone jumped at the pronouncement, exchanging loaded glances and trying to figure out what to say or do next.

Guin smiled at him shakily and in a calm voice asked, “The hospital, Baron?”

“Not a baron, I’m afraid. And this woman isn’t a baroness. You notice I didn’t say my wife because she isn’t that either,” Killian informed them as he stopped by her chair and reached down to place a hand on her shoulder.

“Killian, you don’t mean that,” Emma responded. She would have laughed at his look of confusion at the lack of reaction to his revelation if she wasn’t so sure it would come back to bite her in the ass.

With an admonishing look, Lance said, “See here, Baron, there’s no need to insult the woman who has stayed by you through thick and thin.”

“Thick and thin? We met five nights ago, and she couldn’t wait to be rid of me. She’s an imposter. And I’m a doctor who has real things to do in the real world. Come on, Swan, let’s leave these lovely people to their breakfast.”

“Oh, I get it. You think she’s Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean.” Sidney snapped his fingers as if all the pieces had fallen into place.

“What? No, I think she’s a bounty hunter and the most impossible woman I’ve ever met,” Killian argued, determined to make them see the truth. The more he spoke, the more their faces cleared of all emotion like they were afraid a smile or frown would push him further into his delusions. He pulled her from the chair gently, and since she felt like pond scum for the lies she told, she let his arms circle her waist. As an added benefit she didn’t deserve, the position allowed her nose to be tickled by the chest hair so temptingly on display.

“Maybe she’s a mutineer,” Arthur offered.

Looking at the group, Killian shook his head in disbelief. “I think you’re all crazy.”

“Yes, that must be it,” Guin said soothingly. “Why don’t you have some breakfast, Baron?”

“I’m not sure how I can be more clear. I’m not a baron. We’re not married. We met in the middle of the road a few nights ago, and I pretended to be her Uber driver so I could give her a ride to a strip club. It turned into the best night of my life.”

Undeterred, Guin patted his arm, which was still wrapped tightly around her. “What a lovely courtship you’ve had. Now, let’s get you something to eat. Do you prefer coffee or tea to drink?”

“Are you not listening to a word I’m saying? We’re fakes! We haven’t known each other for more than a week. She twisted me around her little finger in two minutes. As infuriating as she is, I fell in love with her smile. The sound of her laugh makes my blood pump faster, and when she talks about not believing in love, it makes me want to prove to her that it exists every day for the rest of our lives.”

She was fading, her will to stick it out with Arthur and give him a happy ending melting in the heat of Killian’s honeyed words. His genuine concern at how nonchalantly they were accepting his confession should have been funny, but all she could think about was how he said ‘the rest of our lives.’

Like he meant it.

“Well, fakes or not, I’m still hungry,” Sidney answered, trying his best in the face of impossible odds. “Maybe your patients could wait a few hours until the salmon arrives. It’s quite good.”

“Bloody hell, this is a madhouse. Come on, Emma, enough is enough. Let’s go,” he urged her again. Taking the napkin from her hand, he threw it on the table and switched his grip to gently hold her upper arm and guide her away from the group.

They were immediately halted by Lance, thunder in his expression and lightning in his eyes. “She’s not going anywhere with you, Baron. We know all about your illness. She won’t be safe.”

“My illness?” Understanding dawned on his face and his head tilted back like he was searching the morning sky for answers. With a wry chuckle, he sighed. “Bravo, Swan. You told them I’m crazy. And I played right into it, didn’t I? Because I’ve been acting crazy, a man driven out of his mind at the sight of his most cherished dream waltzing away from him like he was nothing. Like everything he felt was nothing as far as she was concerned.”

She choked up at the bitter twist of his mouth. He was so brave, declaring his feelings in front of everyone, even convinced she would reject him again. Was it any wonder she had fallen head over heels for him?

And what did she do? She lied. She tricked. She ran. Then she rinsed and repeated.

“Captain,” she whispered, her hand moving to cradle his face when a sickening crack was heard and he crumpled at her feet.

Behind him, looking proud of himself, Sidney was still holding a pan aloft like he thought Killian might jump to his feet and demand a second round. Fear flooded her and she dropped to her knees to cradle his head in her lap. Helplessness, her hands fluttered over his body, her mind trying to sort out the impossible situation that was entirely her fault. “Why the hell did you do that?”

“He looked homicidal.”

Shaking him gently, she begged, “Killian…Killian, come back to me. Don’t leave me here alone.”

“You aren’t alone, sweetheart,” Lance promised, trying to move her away.

She swatted at his hands and refused to leave. The movement caused Killian’s head to lull to the side, and she saw a smear of red dripping from his hairline. “Someone call 911. He’s bleeding!”

Sidney glanced down at them with a mildly alarmed look and then at the weapon he still held. He ran his finger across the bottom and, with some relief, announced, “That’s not blood. It’s raspberry compote.”

—

Arthur’s personal physician made a house call to attend to the victim. Of course, the woman knew Killian Jones, MD, who was apparently the Director of Pediatric Oncology at Storybrooke General and one of the foremost experts in his field.

He was a saint in addition to being her Captain.

He deserved so much more than a lost girl who was too scared to know a good thing when it stopped on the side of the road to save her.

“This couldn’t have worked out better, my dear,” Arthur commented with an eyebrow wiggle. “Lance is beside himself. He just announced he plans to hire a divorce attorney this very afternoon. Run along. I’ll make sure the good doctor makes it back to town safely. I’ll even throw a couple thousand his way for his performance.”

“Shut up, Arthur. This is terrible. An innocent man got hurt, and it’s all our fault. My fault,” she corrected with a whisper, running her hand softly through Killian’s hair. He regained consciousness as the doctor checked him out but fell asleep while she assured them no permanent damage was done. Replacing the ice pack against the goose egg forming on the side of his head, she silently pleaded with him to wake up so she could grovel properly and beg for forgiveness.

“He seems quite taken with you.”

“Maybe he’s crazy after all,” she joked, but her heart wasn’t really in it. She doubted she would find anything funny until she saw his electric blue eyes again. “Can you leave us alone? I want to be able to explain when he comes to.”

“Of course, just call if you need anything.” He gave her a probing stare as if trying to decide whether to say something else before he left.

When she heard the door click shut, she leaned over and brushed a soft kiss across his lips. “I’m sorry. For running. For lying. For putting you in a situation where you got knocked out. I know that’s not nearly enough, but I am.”

“It’s a start,” he groaned as her hushed tone drew him from sleep, one hand moving to cover hers where it held the ice to his head and the other reaching out to play with the ends of her hair. “What happened?”

“I happened. This is why we don’t work, Captain. I’ve brought you nothing but pain and suffering since the moment we met.”

“I didn’t figure you for the melodramatic type, Swan. We had some good times before this farce began,” he reminded her as he shifted into more of a sitting position. “Are you ready to admit there’s something between us, or do I need to jump back into the fray and take a punch bowl to the face?”

“I never denied there was something between us, just that it was a good idea. I believe a raspberry-flavored concussion proves my point perfectly.”

His hand drifted to her cheek, calloused fingers glancing over soft skin. She wanted to look away from his intense gaze, but he tenderly grabbed her chin and held her in place. “Love, come away with me. It doesn’t have to be forever; we can sort that part out later. I’m simply asking for your company now, to give us a chance before you decide against it.”

“I want to, Captain. I want the carrot and everything else behind Door Number One,” she murmured with a watery chuckle. His gentle caresses grew hotter and more insistent. Finally he pulled her to him, her body half-covering his, as he claimed her mouth in the kind of scorching kiss that would burn through her memory forever.

She had nothing to offer him, and she had a long way to go before she would be worthy of this kind of love. Unconditional. All-encompassing. The kind she didn’t even know existed until he rescued her.

“I sense a but coming…”

“But—“

With a sad smile, he interrupted her. “On second thought, don’t. Please. I can’t bear to hear you say the words. To watch you run one more time. Let’s call it a day now so we can remember it fondly in the years to come.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am.” He tapped her nose lightly with his fingertip, observing the tears in her eyes as she fought to keep them from falling. Giving her a bittersweet grimace, he added, “Just promise you’ll take care of yourself, Swan. No more skipping meals. No more pretending to be anyone other than the amazing woman you are.”

The tears that were a threat until then slipped past her defenses, leaving trails down her face. He swiped at them and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Then he was gone.

Arthur found her later in the exact same place, not having the energy to move. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “This is the last time you’ll ever have to live this day, my dear.”

She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but the knowledge he was wrong caused her to feel light-headed as she turned into his embrace. She would never have to say goodbye to Killian again, but she knew she would relive it over and over until the day she died.

—

He approached her on the shoreline as she watched the blue waters of the Atlantic crash against the rocky beach forming one side of Arthur’s estate. Heat lightning flashed in the distance; the far-off storm robbed of its noise and violence when viewed from the calm of land. Emma knew it was only a matter of time until he sought her out. He was a smart man, a gambler and a rogue, so why not press his advantage?

“You disappeared on me after the baron left.” Lance never referred to him as her husband, always ‘the baron.’ She wasn’t sure if it was his way of skirting the immorality of his pursuit or simply to rob the other man of any claim on her, but it was starting to piss her off. Which was silly considering he wasn’t really her husband. Or a baron.

“He told me he was filing for divorce on his way out. That he hoped you found happiness but had come to realize it wasn’t going to be with him.”

She had yet to look at Lance, but she felt her heart break a little at the scene he painted. It was just like the Captain to try to help her all the way to the bitter end. She supposed he simply couldn’t stop himself. Breathing in the warm salty air, she wanted to let it fill her lungs and sweep out the misery that had taken hold in the core of her.

She was an idiot. She had let someone who had never loved her, never really even cared about her, twist her into someone who would do the same thing to a man who was perfect in every way. If she hadn’t already sworn to get even with Neal Cassidy, this would have driven her to it.

She was damaged now, unfit for human company, clinging to a sham because it was easier than facing the fact she made the biggest mistake of her life. Only this time, there was no boogeyman in the form of a cheating, lying ex to blame. She did this to herself.

But she didn’t have to double down on it.

With a deep sigh, Lance dropped on the sand next to her. He was more casual than she had ever seen him, and somehow it made him more approachable. Barefoot and with his pants legs were rolled up to mid-calf in a nod to the tide, he observed, “He was wrong, wasn’t he? You still love him.”

“Yes,” she admitted, staring at the horizon.

“And you aren’t a baroness…”

“No,” she confirmed, this time chancing a sidelong glance at him. “Everything he said was true. I’ve been here under false pretenses.”

“To come between Guin and me. It has the smell of an Arthur scheme all over it,” he explained with a wry grin. “Well, I can’t say I didn’t deserve it. I never intended for it to go this far, but once it started, we kept getting deeper and deeper until I couldn’t see a way out. And then I didn’t want to. I love her, I probably always will, but she’s not mine. You helped me realize that. A gorgeous wake-up call designed to turn my head and steal my heart. Losing you is my penance. One I can’t regret because I have a feeling you saved several lives by playing along.”

“You’ll be back in the saddle again soon, I’m sure, and the women of the world will be better for it. Do yourself a favor next time, though. Choose an available woman, and once you find her, don’t let her go. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Pick up where I left off, I suppose. I have some debts that still need to be paid and a fugitive to bring to justice. Maybe if I keep busy enough, keep moving, this will all fade and seem like some fever-induced dream.”

“I meant, what are you going to do about Jones?”

“I think I’ve done enough already. The best thing I can do for Killian now is to stay away.”

“For someone so smart about other people, you have a rather glaring blind spot when it comes to your own life. A mistake is only a mistake if you keep making it. You know where to find him, you know he wants you to, the only thing stopping you is fear.”

“Fear is enough, Lance.”

“You know what fear has gotten me: Absolutely nothing. I was afraid to put myself out there, so I only got involved with women who I knew would leave me before the whole thing even started. It’s hard to mourn the loss of a relationship that never stood a chance to begin with. It cost me my best friend and two women I care about. You’re better than that, Emma, and doesn’t he deserve the best version of you? But more importantly, don’t you?”

@teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @stahlop @motherkatereloyshipper @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @klynn-stormz

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winterscaptain · 4 years

Text

infirmity.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: part four of our 100 arc, covering 5x02, haunted! I forgot how much i love this episode, so i really leaned into this one. it’s a labor of love!! i can’t wait to hear what you all think (i crave feedback and affection) and if you reblog, i’d love to see your cheeky lil thoughts in the tags!!

words: 4.3k warnings: language, bad decisions

summary: “a friend should bear his friend’s infirmities” - william shakespeare, julius caesar.

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

You knock on the door at 8:30 sharp. Almost thirty seconds pass before he answers, and you note the hand on his holster as he opens the door.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you chirp. “Ready to go?”

He turns, gathering his things. “What do we know about this case in Kentucky?”

Thrown a little by the lack of greeting, you follow him into the apartment. The sight of the Foyet files on his desk aren’t foreign to you, nor are they a surprise. They’ve been there every time you came over during his leave (in fact, you’ve sat on them more than once), so why you expected them to go away once he was back you had no idea.

“Um, no connection between Call and his victims. They’re canvassing, but no sign of him so far.”

“Start with his recent history. Find the stressor.” His voice is flat, impassive, and you frown.

He was just getting better…

You’re about to head back toward the door when -

“Don’t move.”

Right. The alarm.

He stands by to arm it. “Ready?”

“Are you?”

+++

You arrive at the tarmac, Hotch in the passenger seat of your car. He looks a little resigned, but straightens and takes a breath before he opens the door, settling into his role as he steps out and straightens his suit jacket.

It’s always a little funny to watch him transform. You’re honored you get to see it, even if he’s in rough shape.

Especially then.

You climb the stairs and follow him in, settling in your usual place.

“Good to see you,” Dave says as Aaron scoots down the aisle. It makes you smile.

“You, too.”

Aaron gets settled and you shift, trying not to hover but finding it difficult to be separated from him after his weeks of absence. He greets the rest of the team, exchanging pleasantries and checking in with Reid about his knee.

“Any other attacks?”

JJ shakes her head, while Spencer elaborates. “Call’s proven hard to track. He’s never had a driver's license so he’s probably still on foot.”

“Or public transportation,” Emily notes.

You hum. “He wouldn’t take the bus. His face is everywhere.”

“Has anyone found a stressor?” You weren’t sure if Aaron’s brusque affect was going to continue once you made it to the plane, but his tone just about answers your question.

Stepping back into authority quickly, there, Aaron.

“He just lost his job,” Garcia supplies. “He’s worked at a factory since 1990. Made appliances since forever and not a single promotion.”

Derek tilts his head. “That’s a long time to be bitter.”

“Or he doesn’t care?”

JJ looks at Spencer and shakes her head. “Not if he’s got a family to feed.”

“Actually, he’s of the hermit variety as far as I can tell. He’s got no one. No wife, no kids, no parents.” You watch Garcia’s eyes flicker around the screen as she talks to you, doing what she does best.

“Nothing to live for.” Derek’s looking a little too pointedly at Aaron for your taste, but your evaluation is interrupted.

“So why hasn’t he killed himself yet?”

Your brain sputters at Aaron’s offhand delivery. “What?”

“Sprees usually end in suicide. If he’s got nothing to live for, why hasn’t he ended it?”

The energy in the room grows uncomfortable, fast. Aaron’s voice is still flat - you might go so far as to say it sounds dead, but that inspires a kind of heavy sullenness in your chest you’d rather not subject yourself to.

You wish Haley was around for no other reason but to kick his ass.

You’re thankful for Spencer when he answers Hotch’s question. “Because he isn’t finished, yet. We know he has displaced anger. He took it out on the first victim.”

“Well,” Aaron continues, “the stock boy represents someone. We need to know who.”

You meet Derek’s eyes and you can tell he’s trying to read you - trying to see if you’re as concerned as he is. You don’t give him the satisfaction.

+++

Later, you corner Morgan on the plane before landing, keeping your voice low. The case is in your lap so there’s a valid distraction when you need one.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He stops and turns. “I thought Hotch was cleared to drive.”

“He is.”

“Then why did you pick him up this morning?”

You shrug. “I wanted to.” His eyes bore into the side of your head and you look up with an exasperated huff. “What?”

He sighs. “He’s only had a month off.”

“Well,” you say, aware that you’re being pedantic before you even get there, “thirty-four days. That’s a little more than a month.”

His stare is withering, but you’re impervious. “And you think that’s long enough?”

“Are you asking me as his coworker or as his friend?”

“Is there a difference?”

You shrug. “Maybe.” Yes. “But if you don’t think he’s had enough time, you should tell him.”

He scoffs. “No thanks. I like my job.”

“You like him more.” A little smile crosses your face. “Though, I know you don’t like to think so.”

“No. I like you.” Derek corrects. “He also happens to like you, so I tolerate him for your benefit.”

“Much appreciated.” You return to your work, but Derek’s eyes linger. You don’t look up as you ask, “What?”

“What if he has PTSD?”

Still writing, you answer with a general air of nonchalance. “He was evaluated.”

“Oh, come on. We wrote those questions. Hotch knows exactly -“

You slam your pen down and lean back with your arms crossed. You draw Spencer's eyes and lower your voice again. “So, what? Are you going to pick at me until you get me to say something you want me to say?” You let out a sardonic chuff, settling back to work. “If that’s the case, you’re gonna be here a while.” You tip your head a little toward the little table by the window. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

You admittedly feel a little bad for being short with him, but everything seems to be testing your patience today.

And if you’re honest, you’re worried about Aaron, too.

After a few minutes of work in silence, you call out to him again. There’s the smallest of apologies in your voice. “Derek?”

He looks at you, dark eyes open and yielding - concerned and forgiving. “Yeah?”

“He’s back because he has to be. He needs to know we’re here for him.”

“He knows that.”

You offer him a small smile. “Don’t let him forget it.” You pause, your head wavering a little bit as your tone turns a touch facetious. “I can’t do all the heavy lifting around here.”

You get a laugh out of him - just a little one - and it’s enough. “Don’t push it, kid. I remember when you were dead weight.”

You roll your eyes.

That’s enough, for now.

+++

Even your seemingly-endless patience with Aaron rapidly wanes as you spend more time at the crime scene. It’s frustrating.

“He was on an antipsychotic?” You ask with a little frown.

The pharmacist nods. “Well, that’s why I wanted him to calm down. He’s been off of them at least a month, now.”

“And when were you going to tell us this?” Aaron asks, harsh and sharp.

You look at him, your frown deepening.

What the fuck is that attitude?

“He’s armed, he’s delusional. Who’s his doctor?” Hotch’s tone grows even pointier, somehow, as he pushes harder.

“I don’t remember - my computer…” She gestures behind the desk, where the computer has been fried by a bullet.

“Great. That’s great.” He walks away, already making a call.

“Excuse us,” you say in an attempt to recover. Derek echoes you and you try to avoid running after Hotch as he strides down the aisle.

Long-legged asshole. Slow down.

“Hotch,” you call. He doesn’t listen.

“Call JJ and tell her about the meds.” He’s still walking. You’ve caught up.

Derek chimes in, gesturing back at the pharmacist. “This is not her fault.”

Aaron turns on him. “Morgan, he’s in a psychotic break. It changes everything.”

“You want to talk about this?” Derek asks, taking another step closer.

Squaring up to Derek’s shoulder, you’re ready to pull them apart if they get really heated.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

In some ways, Morgan’s admission on the plane was truer than he let on. You are the link between Derek and Aaron, almost like a balm. You see things in them that they can’t see in each other. It helps.

With a pang, you think of Haley, for some reason.

You miss her.

“No.” Aaron’s interruption is sharp and it startles you out of your thoughts. “I want to find him - Garcia,” he turns, continuing on his warpath forward, “he’s been off his antipsychotic for a month. What else did you miss?”

Your mouth drops open and Derek’s about to deck Aaron while his back is turned. You push in front of Derek, getting between them to give him a chance to cool off. The last thing you want is to handle more wound dressings - for either one of them.

Aaron hangs up and walks out after what you imagine is a rather unilluminating update from Penelope. You turn, putting your hand on Derek’s shoulder and looking him in the eye.

Still think he’s alright? His eyes ask.

You grit your teeth. I don’t know.

+++

The psychiatrist and patient lay dead on the floor, Call nowhere in sight. Derek directs the local officers to check the perimeter, just in case.

You look at Hotch, who still doesn’t look completely checked in, himself.

Or maybe he looks too checked in?

I don’t know.

You’d be lying if you said his behavior didn’t freak you out. Though he’s standing beside you, you miss him.

Come back to me.

You miss the man who pliantly sat under your hands as you washed his wounds and brought him takeout and forced him to take naps in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.

You miss the man who fought you for the remote and stole far too many of your fries, who would change the channel if you made the mistake of going to the bathroom on a commercial break.

That man was with you as late as Saturday. Returning has brought something else out in him, the part of him that spent (often very) late nights looking for Foyet has risen to the forefront.

“We’re too late.”

Before the rest of you can do anything, Aaron leaves the room, pushing past Dave in his haste to leave.

Emily calls after him, but he’s long gone down the hallway. They look at you.

All you can do is shake your head with a downturned curve of your mouth.

+++

After a little while, you go downstairs and find Hotch outside. Before you can say anything -

“I should have seen the blinking on the video.”

You huff at him. “Hotch, it could have been a nervous tic. You couldn’t have known - none of the records were available, yet.”

“But it wasn’t a tic. It’s a classic sign of long-term antipsychotic use, and I missed it.”

You step in front of him, squarely meeting his eyes. “We all missed it.”

He’s got another pessimistic jab that you choose to ignore just before Emily and Dave arrive with news from Garcia.

Oh, Aaron.

+++

The officer huffs. “I don’t care why he took him.”

Aaron had, once again, escalated the situation with local police. Tensions are high, and you only hope he can get his shit together at some point. “You should.”

Goddamn it, Aaron.

He continues, advancing on the police captain. “Call’s memory is no longer suppressed. He’s reinventing his past and unless we understand how, we’re not going to find either of them.”

“Well, I’m not gonna just sit around and speculate.”

It’s an old-fashioned Western standoff, now.

Who’s Clint Eastwood?

Well, Hotch has the looks but -

Quit.

Fine.

“Then don’t.”

The captain turns to you, Emily, and Dave. “You don’t think we should chase him either?”

“We need to get ahead of Call,” Dave answers evenly.

The captain looks at Aaron once more before storming off. The rest of you approach Hotch, and Emily’s a little frustrated when she reminds him, “There’s a kid missing.”

“They don’t need the extra manpower.”

You squint at him. “Since when?”

“If we had studied Foyet’s initial crimes -”

Oh for the love of fuck.

“- we would have known that a survivor didn’t make sense.”

“What does he have to do with this?”

Great question, Emily.

“All we had to do was stop and look at Foyet’s history. But we didn’t, and we lost two couples and a bus full of people. I am not making that mistake again.” He leaves the three of you stunned in his wake. After a moment, you follow him.

You always do.

+++

“Let’s go.”

You’ve got the address to the unsub’s home and you take the car with Aaron, the rest of the team following behind you.

He drives fast, but that’s nothing new. He throws the siren and floors it. You call SWAT yourself, getting Derek prepared for staging.

When you get out of the car, you throw your vest on, helping Emily with the straps across her shoulders before she can reach them themselves.

“Prentiss,” Aaron says, putting his earwig in. “Check in with the lieutenant, see if there’s anything we can use.”

She nods. “Yes, sir.”

“You good?” You ask, looking over at him.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

You throw your head to the side, and he takes your flank as you get closer to Emily. Her briefing with this particular lieutenant could go sideways, but you don’t want to leave him feeling trapped.

“...The kid’s in there. We got this. Tactical teams are covering the exits. He’s still focused on the old man.”

Emily squints, adjusting her comm. “For now, but we’re gonna have to figure out the safest way to get that kid out.”

“I’ve got a team in the back and one on the way. We’re going to infiltrate.”

“You do that and someone else dies.” The balance of firm and collaborative rests delicately on her tone. She’s doing well.

“Either Call or a child murder. Flip a coin.”

His tone frustrates you, but you leave Emily to her devices, checking your magazines for the third time. Your sidearm is in place, as is your backup.

“It doesn’t have to end like that. We get a confession out of Jarvis and he goes away, and Call gets his answers. No one else has to die.” She pauses, and a streak of white flashes in your peripheral. “Hotch!”

You whirl, ready to sprint after him as he walks decisively past the rest of you, past the gate, and into the house. After a moment’s hesitation, you make a break for it. A wall of arms stops you, and you know Derek’s behind you when you hear, “What the hell is he doing?”

No vest...Is he even carrying his gun?

“Let him go.”

You turn on Dave, your face plastered with fear and fury. “What do you mean let him go. Rossi -”

“I’m not letting him go in there solo.” Derek pushes against Dave again, but to your surprise, he’s locked in tight.

“We have to trust him.”

That cools Derek off, but not you. You thrash, freeing yourself from one of the local cops. “The hell we do.”

“Kid - wait, no.” The roles reverse, and Derek catches up to you and locks you in his arms before you can breach the perimeter. Your elbows don’t land against his vest, but you sure try. “You’ll get him killed.”

There’s only stress and silence as you stop struggling. All you can do is wait.

Derek keeps his arm around you, but you almost feel like the contact is for both of you. You take deep breaths, trying to slow your heart rate. It’s through the roof.

“What’s he doing?” Emily asks into her mic.

Dave leans into his comm. “Stalling.”

You can almost feel Derek’s jaw tightening. “He has nothing to lose.”

He has everything to lose.

You have everything to lose.

Don’t be a hero, Aaron. Don’t do anything stupid.

You hope that he can hear you somehow.

Too late.

Hotch appears in the window, followed by the boy.

There’s a quick SWAT conversation in your ear.

“Do you have the shot?”

“Negative, negative.”

He’s blocking the shot.

Goddamn you, Aaron. Goddamn you.

“Bringing the boy out,” a faceless voice on the radio says. The hostage runs down off the porch and you catch a glimpse of Aaron before he disappears behind the door again.

You turn your head a touch, keeping your eyes on the door. “Get him out of there.”

Dave shakes his head. “That’s his call.”

Your body is wound tighter than a coil and you’re not sure if you’re ready to storm in there or just start walking home.

There’s a gunshot, and you’re out of there like a bat out of hell. You launch yourself over the short fence and attach yourself to the first SWAT agent you see, remembering your training at the last moment.

You breach the house and find Aaron cuffing Darin, whose father is dead in the armchair in front of him. Your jaw has never been tighter.

Once you confirm that he is in fact still alive and still only has nine holes in him, you turn on your heel and you storm out of the house. You don’t stop until you’re leaning on the front of one of the cars, trying to catch your breath. Your hands shake and you don’t trust your knees to hold you up.

The relief wars with something hot and unpleasant, leaving you more exhausted than you’ve been in weeks.

You keep your head turned away from Aaron as he approaches you. It’s petty, but you also don’t want him to see the fear on your face.

He calls you with a sigh in his voice and it finally ignites the fear into anger.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” you spit. Your voice isn’t loud, but it certainly carries. JJ’s eyes flicker to you from the other side of the yard. “What kind of stunt are you trying to pull? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

His jaw tightens. “Let’s not do this here.”

Your brow draws across your eyes and your mouth opens, indignant. “Let’s not do this here? You’re fucking kidding me.”

In his current state, nothing is off the table. His temper is running short and you know you’re capable of pushing him until he breaks. It hasn’t happened yet, but today might be it.

Much to your surprise, a sigh leaves him, and he knows he’s stepped in it. “It was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You scoff, shaking your head.

His remorse only stokes your anger. Go figure.

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry. You could have died, Hotch. What you did was so beyond protocol I don’t even know if I should start with the necessity of your life because we need you as our unit chief or the importance of your safety as my friend -” You cut yourself off and look away from him, frustrated you even got that far.

He has nothing to say to that. You’re completely right. The guilt might as well be written across his face in Sharpie.

His absence fucked with you, to say the least. It felt awful, empty, in the field without him. And then when you were home - well, back at the apartment, he was only ever in pain.

Overall, your anxiety regarding his health and safety is riding high.

Much to your frustration, your eyes water, and your lower lip shakes - angry tears an ever-present threat. Your arms cross over your chest. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

He reaches out for your arm, but you throw him off before he can make contact, turning your head. You stare at the ground, watching him flounder out of the corner of your eye.

“Go. Go do your fucking job, Hotch.” His nickname is acid in your mouth. It feels like a punishment, a lash of a whip. He doesn’t move, and you turn on him, meeting his guilty brown eyes with your flinty ones. “Go. Make the arrest. They’re waiting on you.” You throw your chin to Derek and Emily, who are indeed waiting for him on the porch with the unsub.

With another heavy sigh, he turns and rejoins the rest of your team.

You stay where you are, directing coroner and local law enforcement personnel to relevant staging areas as the crime scene is processed and handled. Aaron’s eyes try to find yours, but you avoid them, focusing on someone, anyone else with crisp professionalism that hardly belies your fear.

You’ve never been so angry in your life. Even if you have, you can’t remember it feeling this wretched.

+++

He sits beside you on the plane once you’re up in the air and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. The rest of the team sleeps scattered around the cabin, but you suspect that at least one of them is faking it, waiting for some kind of spectacle or spectacular blowup between the two of you.

You haven’t spoken to Aaron since leaving the crime scene. You drove back to the precinct with Emily and Dave, staying close to JJ and Spencer while you packed your things. There’s a part of you that feels bad for creating what Strauss would call a “hostile work environment,” but the other part can’t bring itself to care.

You can’t even begin to articulate the fear that coursed through you as you waited for him outside that house. You couldn’t begin to explain the extent of your fear, but after the stabbing and the removal of Haley and Jack from your lives, the prospect of losing him in the field was beyond unbearable.

It’s frustrating to feel so comforted by his proximity while you’re still so angry with him. The familiarity of it all hardly blunts your anger. If anything, the relief at having him back at your side sharpens your anger into something that scares you.

The impossibility of it is beyond measure. You’ve known for some time now, but this is the first you’re willing to admit it.

I love him.

Fuck.

You love him. You love his son. You love his wife.

You love the weird look he gets on his face when he has to say “penetration” while he’s delivering a profile. You love the way he tries not to smile when Emily beats Spencer at chess. You love the way he twiddles with pens when he’s thinking or nervous or both. You love that each of his smiles feel like a gift just for you.

There’s nothing you don’t love about him.

Except, of course, the way he, with profound idiocy, endangered his life today for no particular reason in addition to his generally asshole-ish behavior.

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m sure you know that.”

You do.

He waits on you, quiet and still.

You take a deep breath, finally looking at him. “You scared the hell out of me.”

He nods, his jaw flexing.

“Don’t do it again.”

He blinks once, slowly. You know he can’t promise that, but you appreciate his acknowledgment nevertheless. There’s quiet for a moment.

“Aaron…” You look at him, nothing but concern in your tone.

He shakes his head. “Don’t.”

“I was just going to say…” You swallow, trying to find better words but coming up short. “We’ll get him.”

+++

Derek’s voice echoes down to the bullpen as you finish up the last few pieces of your paperwork. “I will not stand by and watch this man kill himself.”

Aaron’s door is closed as he works. You’re not sure if you’re thankful for that, or if you’d rather he hear it. You can’t really hear Dave - not that you’d want to, you’re almost as pissed at him as you are at Aaron - but it doesn’t matter. You know what he has to say.

Derek’s voice drops lower than you can hear. Dave drops his head.

Moments later, Derek flies back down the stairs, grabs his jacket, and takes his leave with a cursory goodbye thrown in your direction. Dave returns to his desk and Aaron’s door finally opens.

You look up as his lights turn off, gathering your things at your desk. With a little sigh that looks a bit like defeat, he stops at your desk. The smugness doesn’t completely leave your tone. “Need a ride?”

Of course, he does. “Please.”

You rise and walk to the elevators together. In the silence, you tell him, “I’m still really mad at you.”

A sigh. “I know.”

+++

You walk him upstairs and take care of the alarm while he removes his suit jacket and throws it over the couch.

“Do you think Call’s gonna be okay?” You ask, still facing the alarm.

“I don’t know.”

“He got his answers,” you note, turning to him. “He killed the man who haunted him.”

His eyes are fixed on a spot on the carpet. “And what else is there?”

“Years of torture.” You both know you’re not talking about Call anymore, but it’s nice to pretend. It gives you the opportunity to say things you wouldn’t - shouldn’t - say to him. “Fear. Grief.”

“Think he’ll get over that?”

“How could he?” A humorless smile pulls at one corner of your mouth. “But at least he doesn't feel like he’s alone.”

He finally meets your eyes. “He doesn’t have anyone.” I don’t have anyone, his brow says.

“He has Tommy. He’s not alone.”

You have me. You’re not alone.

His brows pull low over his eyes, and you take another opportunity as it comes. “Do you want me to stay again tonight?”

“No, I’m alright.” He takes a little breath and you round the corner, pouring him a couple fingers of whiskey before making a slow, purposeful trek across the room. “Thank you,” he says, taking it.

“Of course. Anytime.” Now, you both know you aren’t talking about the drink.

Nevertheless, you pat your pockets for your keys, phone, and various federal paraphernalia, finding them all where they belong. “I should head out, then. Call if you need anything.”

He nods, watching you with quiet eyes as you close and lock the door behind you.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #aaron hotchner fanfiction #a joyful future #shut up tali #a joyful future fanfic

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drwcn · 4 years

Text

Not to bring up the distasteful teenager memory of Twilight LMAO, but yall remember that part of the story where it is revealed after Rosalie turns into a vampire she goes and devours every single one of the men who r*ped her.

Fierce Corpse!Qin Su coming for Jin Guangshan’s life.

JIGGY was always looking for ways to make a fierce corpse wasn’t he? Well consider this.

Madam Qin confronts JGY, but it was already too late. Qin Su was already pregnant. JGY, being the dumbest smart person, realized he has fucked up, but what to do? It’s not like he can tell Madam Qin he knocked up his own sister accidentally. Unknowing of this, Madam Qin then went to Qin Su to tell her the truth. Surely even if that degenerate won’t stop this marriage, once Qin Su finds out they are related, she wouldn’t go through with it.

Well, little did Madam Qin expect, once Qin Su finds out, she’s so overcome with disgust she takes her own life (canon compliant, I think? idk what that episode was about to be honest. I always assumed Jiggy drugged her to keep her quiet, but Qin Su was the one to take her own life. Jin Rusong is at best a ball of cells at this stage and abortion is a staple trope of cdrama don’t @ me. I take no criticisms.)

Well shit, now Qin Su is half a step away from death. Jiggy discovers this first, and is like O.O oh feck, but also... opportunity???? He recruits evil gremlin extraordinaire Xue Yang, and beginner’s luck takes them to a successful resurrection.

*cue Mary Shelly shaking her head from beyond the grave or... in the future....technically.*

Qin Su is rightfully like wtf JGY, but Jiggy is like aight sis i know you’re mad, but hey now that everyone knows what’s the deal here, I think we have a common enemy: Jin Guangslut. Should we kill him or should we kill him?

Xue Yang: yo so .... you still gonna get married or what?

Qin Su: if you even think about getting married i swear to god -

JGY: ....okay, how about “fake” marry. Once dear old Dad is dead, we can...idk have an amicable separation. I can even set you up on a date with a guy I know in the fierce corpse community. His sister is still in my basement come to think of it -

QS: what

JGY: what

QS: you are a fucking nutjob, Jiggy, you know that? I can’t believe I was attracted to you.

JGY: first of all that’s hurtful, but... hey at least you didn’t insult my mother.

QS: why would i? our mothers are innocent. *deep sigh* okay fine, how should we kill JGS, I vote for castration. Also *points to the black veins on her paste-y complexion* this is gonna be a problem.

XY: *quirk an eye brow* realllly starting to see the family resemblance now. Don’t worry I got make up to cover that up. Also gotta find you some blush, so you don’t look so ... undead.

JGY “so we get prostitutes -”

QS “No. Jiggy, I’m sensing some internalized classism. Let’s just sic Xue Yang on him and be done with it.”

JGY “....you were less bossy before.”

QS “I was also less dead before. Also, Xue Yang doesn’t mind, do you dear?”

XY *eating the candied pastries QS got him* “Nah, not at all, jiejie. I can wear a dress and get dolled up if you want, but I want silk and the dress needs to be tailored. Bespoke. *points to his plate* These are great. Do you have more?”

JGY: *facepalm* what have done.

QS: created a fierce corpse you can’t control. Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it brother?

QS “I feel bad for Chifeng-zun. If I had to sit and watch you and Lan Xichen make eyes at each other over the guqin day in and day out....”

JGY “Oi, you’re not even my real wife.”

QS “Doesn’t mean I can’t nag you. Also, you have an issue, you know. You can’t just murder your way to the top.”

JGY “I wasn’t -”

QS “Save it. If you give Xue Yang enough candy, he’ll tell you anything.”

JGY “NMJ is a problem. He disrespects -”

QS “You think maybe the reason he thinks you’re a untrustworthy little shit is because you are...an untrustworthy little shit? Also he’s always violent and aggressive towards you...yeah ‘cause you’ve been playing Terrible Temper Tango on repeat for weeks.”

JGY “.....................” *well sis does have a point, maybe i should re-evaluate my strategy “Then what do you suggest I do?”

QS: I believe Xue Yang calls it “when it doubt, fuck it out.”

JGY: ...............................you two need to stop hanging out together.

Jin Guangyao and Qin Su spend many nights in the secret chamber plotting together. Apparently the Jin crazy can both be inherited and developed. Qin Su decides her second life is rather nice, and having power is nice too, but she’d rather have some friends.

*Jiggy and Qin Su’s Ten Step Plan to Un-Fuck the Cultivation World*

Aka Jiggy’s illegal but necessary emergency U-Turn.

Step 1: Start playing some nice music ffs, and maybe when NMJ is in a better mood, the venerated Triad can be the venerated Triad. ;)

Step 2: start treating MXY better. He could be useful as a loyal brother.

Step 3: Sic him on Nie Huaisang. They seem like they could do well together. Also, the easiest way to get through to NMJ is through his little brother.

Step 4: Make Jin Guangshan disappear.

Step 5: Speaking of little brothers, they’re gonna have to eventually deal with Lan Wangji. Even Qin Su’s 78 year old grandma with cataract can see he’s just a liiiiittle hung up on Wei Wuxian, who is unfortunately....dead.

”How do you suppose we fix this particular problem?”

”Isn’t there some cultivator prisoner found guilty punishable by death in your single minded cleansing of your political enemies?”

"Of course. Go on I’m listening, mei-mei.”

”So while you were off being shady, I did some research. There is a spell. I think a potential trade off could be made if we bargain right. Their soul, which was forfeit anyway, in exchange for a lifetime of protection and financial stability for their families.”

“>:) dear sister, where have you been all my life I’ll never know.”

Qin Sun, “Just make sure they’re not too hard on the eye. Lan Wangji doesn’t seem to be the shallow type but one never knows.”

Step 5: Jiang Wanyin needs an emotional laxative like... last year. Look into resurrecting Jiang Yanli. Once she’s alive, all that Yunmeng Bullshit will resolve, and you will also have a Lotus Pier forever grateful for Jin Guangyao and Qin Su’s kindness. If that doesn’t work...idk get Jiang Wanyin a dog.

“Okay, hooow are you going to get a woman to give up her soul to -”

“Can we fierce corpse her? Wei Wuxian had a bunch of undead ladies hanging around right?”

“........worth looking into.”

Step 6: Jin Zixuan. Yikes -

JGY “I didn’t kill Jin Zixuan. Wei Wuxian did.” (note: CQL washed WWX of any responsibility for the deaths of others by making it so that the Song of Turmoil caused him to lose control. This, in fact, is not what is written in book canon. WWX did lose control by himself without external influence. I can cherry pick the plot points I want to keep.)

QS “..........but you sent him to his death.”

JGY “..........”

QS *Deep sigh* “Who can we throw under the bus this time for Jin Zixuan’s death, Jigs? Someone that won’t be missed...got it. Su She.”

JGY “He’s loyal to me, he’s an ally -”

QS “Listen here, once you resurrect Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian, you will have the eternal gratitude of Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan. Who gives a shit about Su Minshan that simpering turd.”

JGY: True. *he’s understood by now that he could get rid of those who would talk shit, belittle, and disrespect him...but he could always do more with a couple of important influential people who would spread words of his goodness. Stubborn righteous cultivators like the Jiangs, Nies and Lans.* “Also Jin Zixuan’ll be an undead, not able to inherit. We’re safe.”

QS: “Exactly.”

Xue Yang: eating candy......... *eye roll*

Step 7: Because Step 6 didn’t work out, forget about Jin Zixuan.

JGY: “you know... maybe Jin Zixuan moved on.”

QS: “Would explain why we couldn’t call his soul back the way we called back Jiang-gu’niang.” Qin Su glances back at Jiang Yanli’s soul-infused clay body in the process of being reanimated (lifted this idea straight from Inuyasha - ahem- kikyo.) “It’s probably better this way. I don’t like the thought of sharing the control of Lanling Jin with more people.”

JGY: “Ah, blood of my blood you are indeed.”

Step 8: Reveal Jin Guangshan’s evil deeds. Once they kill Dear Ol’ Dad, they can just blame EVERYTHING on him and have him be the disgrace of the entire cultivation world, and them the unfortunate children left to do his bidding and trying the best they could to salvage what they can from his trail of ruins.

Step 9: Reunite Wen Ning and Wen Qing. Lie. Blame it all on Jin Guangshan who is too dead to argue in his own defense. If Jiang Wanyin finds out about Wen Qing...well, information gets around.

JGY “So about that Date.”

Qin Su: “Yes I distinctively remember you promising me eligible young men of the Fierce Corpse Community.”

JGY: >:) I’m here to make good on my words.

Step 10: Reap the benefits of a world restored.

#Anonymous #corie replies #qin su #jin guangyao #xue yang #corie fics #cql ideas

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frightfurtabby · 3 years

Text

HimiKiyo Week 2021 Day 4: I Am Not Your Queen

// Mastermind Kiyo AU for day 4! Because that’s a pretty good reason to be enemies. Could things be different? It’ll take a while for these two to figure out.

Word Count: 2848

Links-

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34159447

Amino: (coming soon)

“That’s right. If all other alibis check out…” Shuichi said, hand on his chin. This was the final class trial, everyone’s fate hinged directly on what was going to happen next. It depended on the case they’ve built up so far being absolutely correct. One irrefutable accusation and the mastermind’s entire game was crumbling to pieces like a house of cards. “Then there can only be one person that was behind the lies that killed Kaede, Rantaro, and all our other friends.”

His finger pointed across and to his left, at the person standing between Tsumugi and Maki at their trial bench. “Korekiyo Shinguji, you’re the real mastermind behind the killing game!”

The detective's words echoed throughout the room, bouncing off the walls. Himiko, in spite of how many times others called her “slow” grew increasingly silent as the discussion kept going back to them and their actions from earlier. They had been outed as a serial killer in a previous trial but in spite of everything they helped Himiko at her lowest point immediately after what had happened with Angie and Tenko.

She remembered crying on Kiyo’s shoulder, listening to their soothing voice put her at ease, advice like a wise sage being passed down. Each and every time she needed it, she would go to that anthropology lab. Each time her footsteps took her in, her feelings only grew stronger. Her first kiss was in there, with them. Before what happened there was a pull she felt, but she never got much of a chance to get close with how intimidating they came off as.

Kiyo, who was now replying calmly as though none of it was bothering them. This was how it started in the other trial too, So that should be reassuring right?

“Yes, it was me.” they said, “I just so happened to pick up my own after noticing Kaede had taken one with help from my nanokumas.”

Oh.

Oh no.

And now it felt like the world was crumbling again. Only instead of feeling deflated and alone she was enraged. Enraged that the case against Kiyo didn’t have any holes in it. How could it be true? And now just admitting to it?

“Was all of that… was all of it a lie Kiyo?” she begged that what they had was real. Even now standing across from them as enemies.

“No. I’ve been up front with you this whole time. There were simply parts of the story you weren’t ready to know. And you still… aren’t ready yet.”

“But you- but you-” words escaped the Mage, leaving her unable to think calmly and properly. “You could have stopped this at any point, but you kept going.” She didn’t even notice they felt a tinge of fear underneath the words she was replying to.

“Why assume I have enough control to end it early, that would be going far off-script.” A small bead of sweat formed which the killer wiped away.

Wait… off script? What did something like that even mean?

Himiko turned to notice that Maki was giving them a death glare. “Because you’re the mastermind, obviously.”

“Oh, I see. In that case… no, I wasn’t working alone to do this.” they began to explain. “This wouldn’t have been possible without Team Danganronpa and all the fans watching right this very minute!”

“T-Team… D-Danganronpa?” Tsumugi stuttered in shock.

“Yes, the studio that put together the killing game with me on the ground so to speak to act on their behalf. We are not actually the only ones left alive, there are more humans alive than any other time in history and millions upon millions of them tune into this program.“

“The world is… fine?” Kiibo pondered. The revelation made him tense about what his inner voice may be.

“Why would the world want a killing game?”

Kiyo responded “It works as a kind of release valve, I suppose. Conflicts have dwindled over the existence and increasing popularity of this show after all.”

“Can we… Can we go home? Kiyo please, let me go, let *us* go. You can do that right?”

“Even though it is not destroyed, you still cannot.” The other voice came from Korekiyo once more. Sister was back in action. Sternly she looked over each of the remaining survivors. As though she was looking down on them.

Himiko glared at her from under her hat. “You again.” While she was feeling so complicated about Korekiyo right now, she unambiguously disliked their “Sister”. Then it hit her. Maybe if the Sister personality was the one that was the one really in charge she could forgive them… maybe.

It would take a lot after something as horrible as this. Especially since Maki and Shuichi swore to never forgive the mastermind, she was certain that she wouldn’t either. Even if Kiyo was just a lackey it would take time to trust again.

“I’m pleased you’ve all made it this far.” Sister said, sounding incredibly pleased with herself, rather than anything they’d accomplished. “I wasn’t sure you had it in you. I’d like you all to meet the fans.”

The blush bear sweated, making the cartoon ‘awooga’ sound like a character seeing an attractive person. “Yes ma’am.”

Futuristic gears spun in front of Monokuma, bringing a keyhole to in front of him, he stuck the key in and several screens proceeded to descend. Faces appeared: Asian, white, black, men, women, even children. Various expressions across their features. None of them stayed long enough for any witness to recognize, even if they remembered anyone they had known.

“These are the fans of Danganronpa.” Sister explained. “Danganronpa is their collective favorite show. The 53rd season has been one of the most successful in years.

The discussion was halted. It was surreal, more so than even waking up here originally was. All of those people had been watching the whole time.

Himiko asked “So the fans they saw… everything?” Did they know who the mastermind was?”

“I presume some of them did, but this reveal is equally for their benefit. There’s a vibrant debate each season about who the mastermind is and how they did it. Occasionally spoilers will get leaked.”

“So this… was the killing real?” Tsumugi’s voice wavered as she tried to speak up.

“Yes, that part was real. The people playing those eliminated characters are gone from this world as well as the real one.” Sister took off Kiyo’s hat and put it across their chest looking solemn. “They knew there was a strong chance of that, and signed up like many other fans before them.”

“Was it you or Korekiyo who committed Rantaro’s murder?” Shuichi prodded. The shock was wearing off. The trial was continuing at last in the wake of 2 extremely unnerving revelations.

“I feel like that’s a question dear Korekiyo should give the answer to.” Their shared body pulled up the mask and Kiyo began to speak again

“It was as I said many times, I’m only meant to be an observer. I… admittedly broke that role when I chose to do what I did. I even apologized to them, to myself for it.”

“Then why, surely you must have had a reason.” Shuichi prodded.

“Regrettably for my ethnography, our class that should have been in a completely fresh, sealed environment was muddied when I did it. Sometimes what I want comes into conflict with a higher power and they were banking on Rantaro Amami’s death being the hook for the episode.”

“So then Kaede’s shot put ball really missed…then why didn’t you kill all of us when we got the answer wrong? Simply f--for Television ratings?”

“I’m afraid the answer to that is yes. That is why everyone survived the sham trial. The fans would have completely revolted.”

“But maybe we’d be spared this revolting game continuing. Do you understand all of this is wrong?” Maki shot at them.

“Those are quite the harsh words from a professional killer. Though… maybe I shouldn’t say that, your backstory is fake after all.”

“So then… I didn’t spend all that time…” Maki muttered. That wouldn't stop all of it from feeling deeply real.

“No you did not. That is part of the Ultimate Real Fiction.” Kiyo explained. “It was put into your mind by the flashback lights, as Shuichi deduced. All of our lives were.”

“Being fundamentally changed into a completely different person with a completely different life… what kind of cruel person would force someone to-” Maki

“Forced to?” Kiyo asked quizzically. “No, I can assure you every one of you wanted this. Team Danganronpa takes all of your input very seriously.”

“Our… input?” Himiko asked.

Kiyo clapped their hands together. “Of course. Now I shall show you!”

The screen cut away from the faces of the fans and to some kind of tape. Shuichi Saihara stood in front of the camera. He spoke about how he loved Danganronpa and wanted to be a detective character.

He finished with “ And I’d do anything to be in danganronpa. I will come up with the best, most gruesome murders. Everyone would love it! And, a detective character hasn’t been the blackened yet, so I’m sure I could do that. I’m even thinking about the perfect punishment… for the ultimate detective.”

His glee was evident. Someone so against the killing right now had been one of the biggest fans ever, with a Junko like joy in thinking about how he would be punished as the culprit. It really was like before coming here he wasn’t the same person.

They even went so far as to play Kaede and Kaito’s revealing in part they had said things like “I don’t have any faith in humanity” and “I’m going to kill everyone and win.” respectively.

“So you see… none of us were the same. If you like how you are now then you may stay perhaps? Finish the fight of hope against despair. Or we, as friends, could all stay here?”

“No, we won’t do that.” Shuichi said, pointing dramatically. “Right guys? The only way to get through and win this. It’s to reject hope and despair. The very premise of Danganronpa.”

It was put up to a vote. Before that, the outside world had tried to argue Hope or Despair, reinforcing the choice. But the cast continued to refuse.

“We’ll end this with our own hands!”

It came and went. And… Everybody abstained.?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kiibo flew out of the trial room, determined to end the entire killing game now no matter the cost. Everyone would finally be free. All he needed was to finish off this prison school with his upgrades. Rocket boosters made it easy to fly to the next part to blow up.

Down below him, the remaining survivors stood in the courtyard. Kiyo had stopped right before outside. Himiko stopped as soon as she noticed they weren’t running like the others. And those three stopped everything because their friend was endangering herself.

She approached them, which caused a curious head tilt. They had been waving before that moment. It should have been goodbye forever.

“I can’t… let it end like this. It shouldn’t end with you dying like Junko.”

“Why not? Do you not doubt my feelings? I’m just playing my part after all.”

“Your part, look… about that, listen.”

“And what a grand p-” It seemed like they wanted their final words to be some grandiose speech.

“We don’t have time, please.” She grabbed them by the hand, watching the school building collapse further as it became less able to hold its own weight with all the holes punched in each wall. Over her shoulder she pleaded with Maki to help move the obstinate murderer.

The rock above must have spurred Maki on. If she had done nothing, surely both of them would have been crushed. And as painful as it was to keep someone who worked for the captors around she wasn’t about to lose another friend after watching what had happened with Kaito and Kokichi getting themselves killed in that harebrained scheme.

If it ended like that, it felt like it was disrespecting their plan to stop the killing.

Maki also helped Himiko pull Kiyo away towards an opening that formed after Kiibo blew himself up to take the cage down with him. Four people crawled through, blinded by a bright expanse.

Birds chirped. Several voices could be heard shouting. It was time to go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The campus was in a bright field. In fact they could clearly see the ruined courtyard from where they all stood. The wall was broken down and so all that was left behind was the twisted, warped metal of their former cage and the buildings they had walked for the several months they were in a fictional world cut off from everything else.

The line separating the two worlds was broken. It was really that thin the whole time. And it reflected the true reality they found around them.

It was as unfamiliar as their memory of waking up inside what they had just left. Nobody but the mastermind retained any memory of ever being in this place.

They were led to a hallway by uniformed employees, many rooms lining each side of it. It looked exactly like the dorms that had been in the fictional hope’s peak. Save for the fact all the placards were for them: the survivors and the deceased.

If there was much spoken, Himiko didn’t pay attention to it. She didn’t know what to say, how to process much of it internally.

Korekiyo was much more aware and listened, chiming in hoping to be helpful in spite of the fact none of them would want their help.

The mastermind was almost always scripted to be killed, to be thoroughly and finally defeated by the hope of the students. It was in fact what they had agreed to happen. This class was very different. Shuichi and Kaito and Maki of course, but the whole time Himiko was special too.

And she didn’t remember why that was.

They had agreed in private at some point before the procedure to fully become their characters but after the first scene’s rehearsal that it would be terrible if only one of the two had to die. In the moment of escape there was a split second where Kiyo could swear a spark in her eyes indicating some kind of memory of this.

Was it an unspoken acknowledgement? They had to check. If she had really remembered something, then maybe there wasn’t a need to perform a routine as enemies. And they could be forgiven for what happened. At least, more easily so than if she did not recall what things were like leading up to the actual game.

After things settled down, Himiko and Kiyo privately met once again. Both were nervous.

“Himiko Yumeno. I… would like to ask you something.”

She didn’t look up, just sitting in the chair and debating whether or not she should be afraid of them. They could go back to being Sister at any point, and that would really freak her out.

“Go ahead.” the redhead muttered.

“Why did you save me?” Kiyo leaned forward trying to listen more closely.

“I don’t know. I… maybe it was a mistake letting you live. For some reason though I felt… like I had to.”

Maki, Shuichi, and Tsumugi certainly let her know how much of a mistake they thought it was. It didn’t feel good, even if the latter two tried their best to be polite about it.

“If it makes you feel any better I’m not sure how I feel about this either.”

“Do you… no, did you want to die Kiyo?”

“Yes. I was quite fine with it.” they held their tongue upon finishing, hesitating. That statement was not entirely true. They had accepted it, but part of them still felt bad that only she would get out of this if they had. And that was debatably the worst outcome. The other two options would have been preferable, and they got one of them!

“I… well you know how much I wanted to die in the killing game. How scared I was.”

“I knew how much you wanted to die before, from your audition.”

That reminded her. “Why didn’t you show any from mine then?”

“I…” Kiyo started, rubbing the back of their neck. “I was sure you would hate me even more than you already should if I showed it the way I did the others.”

“Can you show me it?” she perked up a little bit. Why were they so concerned about if she hated them? They certainly seemed willing to tell her all sorts of things even though they were enemies.

They nodded and produced a USB drive. They walked over to a laptop and put it in. “And if you don’t remember anything after this, I’ll tell you everything.”

“Promise?” she pleaded with them.

“Yes.” a small smile was hidden by their mask. Maybe being enemies wasn’t a forever thing.

#himikiyo #himikiyo week #himiko yumeno #korekiyo shinguji #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #fanfic #writing #AU

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geekkatsblog · 4 years

Text

Grey's Anatomy season 17 episode 4

(Get these characters some Ragu sauce because they've been through enough.)

This episode has been the best for the season so far, I loved it.

_________________________________________

Jackson and Jo

(Never thought I'd have to put them in a title together.)

Jackson and Jo I was intrigued at first when they were being just friends but then they swapped it and slept together. At this point I'm not sure if I like the pairing it's kinda odd borderline cringe, but maybe it'll change. It might be because it came on so suddenly and different. They've pledged to be a friends with benefits thing which is for the best, because Jackson really does go through clothes like he does clothes, but we all know how that is going to end up, someone is going to catch feelings and I don't think it's going to be Jo.

Honestly I'm not sure what they're doing with Jackson. He hasn't had a plot in a really long time it seems like they're just using him as a general filler to put the ladies in relationships, and where did my baby Harriet go she carried the show for the few seconds she was in it last time.

Other than their new arrangement neither Jackson nor Jo have any pressing plots at the moment.

___________________________________________

Link and Amelia

(Currently carrying the Grey's relationship game.)

Before we get into it can I just express how adorable it was seeing Amelia gardening and mothering. She's really doing a great job.

And Link and his one man band serenading his son is adorable as well. He's an awesome father as everyone knew he would have been.

The pandemic and the possibility of Meredith dying is getting to them, as it would for anyone in their positions. I loved that he sat with Amelia and allowed her to feel all her feelings. Link has been the only partner Amelia has had who actually listened to her instead of talking over her concerns and dismissing them and in return she sat with him and allowed him to process his grief in the way he preferred to. Their levels of communication is on point right now and I am excited to see where it goes. Then there's also the scene where she's afraid for Meredith, her and Meredith had a rocky start and even now they don't have the best relationship but still it's great to see the moments where they let us know that they do care about each other.

___________________________________________

Nico and Levi

(At this point I'm sad to put these two names together up here.)

I shipped those two so strong at the beginning but now I just want Levi to stand up for himself and leave Nico hanging, give him some time to let him realise what a good thing he is messing up. I'm still seething at his hypocrisy calling Levi a baby gay and lowkey pressuring Levi to come out to and move out of his mother's basement only for him to find out that Nico hasn't come out to his parents either and worst of all basically left him homeless by putting him out.

I was sad to see that Levi was falling down the same rabbit hole again. Levi hunny you deserve better. At the beginning of the episode when they had that awkward hi moment I was like oh no here we go again. Jo's reaction to finding out about them was perfect their friendship really has grown on me. It was a little odd at first but I approve of them as each other's persons, and for Jo to let him know he's worth more until Nico gets his crap together.

___________________________________________

Owen

Oh Owen, no just no, he miss diagnosed a patient because he didn't look at the whole picture and just saw a piece, however he took the time to educate himself so I'm feeling a little better, I was expecting him to get mad or offended but he wasn't he took it in stride usually some of the doctors would tend to get snippy at the resident's when they pointed out that they made a mistake but he didn't. This is a common mistake made where doctors don't take into concept ethnicity when they're diagnosing patients and I'm glad they touched on this topic.

Owen has no other current plots at this point to touch on, at least until him and Teddy talk again.

___________________________________________

Richard Webber

Meredith better be alright and come out unscathed, because if she does that will destroy Webber. He was so stressed all episode trying to make the decision of whether to put Meredith in the trial or not and I could only imagine the panic that went through him when he heard her mention George. Finally he made the decision to put her in the trial. Her reason for putting her as her POA was because Richard tends to be calm in most situations but she underestimated how important she is to everyone in the hospital they were all literally only interested in her during the briefing, and seeing him in her room all the time was adorable she was alone yet not alone at the same time because he was always in the room watching over her. He is the father that Meredith never had.

__________________________________________Bailey

(Her plot is apparently coming next week)

She really didn't do much other than educate Owen, worry over Meredith and express her concern about her parent's recent move to an assisted living facility.

Seeing her and George together again warmed my heart and seeing her on the beach with Meredith was a surprise as well especially because the few conversations they had in season 16 were the most I'd seen them talk about things that didn't involve work, but they've been together from the beginning along with Richard and been with her through it all, they're all a family and even though her and Meredith have their ups and down they have a similar relationship to Amelia and Meredith they fight sometimes but when push comes to shove they are there for each other.

___________________________________________

Teddy

(A moment of silence for season 5 through 7 Teddy. May she rest in peace.)

Her plot wasn't so much as about her as it was about Meredith but I understand her concern about Meredith dying under her watch. The whole hospital was basically looking over her shoulder with pitchforks for incase she screwed up. It's a lot of pressure when Meredith Grey is your patient, and after the whole her being heard cheating on Owen with Tom by the whole OR the eyes were probably sharper than ever.

But then onto the worst part, her going to visit Tom. Now I know he said he was going to move on for his own sake, but out of all the times they broke up or separated he has never actually ignored her he would have answered even if it was to say go away and even so he has Covid and wasn't answering the door, why didn't she try to open the door or call 911 that's concerning. She could have even threatened to call the ambulance first just to make sure he wasn't really ignoring her. That would have gotten a response from him for sure. But I just can't fathom how she just left after getting no answer from him.

___________________________________________

Maggie

(Get it hun.)

Her and Winston are so cute and they haven't even met in person yet. Seeing the way how they handled the whole dinner with his father was a nice moment. The dinner was super awkward and he managed to make me hate his dad in one scene. This one seems to be the real deal for Maggie she isn't freaking out at the pace like she usually does and took the invitation to family dinner quite well. I'm glad to see she's no longer a cheerleader but now has a life of her own and probably soon maybe even a plot.

___________________________________________

Tom Koracick

(Take Owen instead.)

NOOOOOO not Tom, we haven't gotten to see his character development yet. And why has he been through as much as someone who has been on the show since season 6 give the dude a break man. The whole time I knew he was going to get worst being asymptomatic doesn't necessarily mean that you won't get them later plus the fact that they sent him home alone was enough to know that something was going to go bad.

First thing first the rest of the doctors are sickening the way they treat him, can he come on strong and be a douche yes but I remember Bailey telling George at one point when he was making fun of Karev that they still had to be on his side even if they didn't like him. They are not on Koracick's side they just sent him home to rot and now it may very well cost him his life. I know Meredith is the sun but they could have at least kept Tom in the hospital to just to monitor him or if that wasn't able to happen they could have kept better tabs on him to make sure he was ok.

Am I the only one who's seeing Helm as his intern later in the future? They clearly have the same taste in video games and they would get along better when he becomes more open to people. Plus idk Helm just reminds me of someone in Nuero or even cardio, she has that tough attitude and strong drive like Cristina and Stephanie etc.

I don't think he's going to die though or at least I hope he's not going to die. Bailey's mother is there for a reason I more see her as the one to die.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Last but certainly not least is Meredith am I the only one who suspected that George was next Ellen Pompeo and T.R Knight have a good relationship off set. If anyone was coming back it was going to be George. I can't see Eric Dane coming back. Chyler is filming Supergirl in Vancouver I think and the others are still alive which makes it more unlikely for them to show up on the beach unless if they heard about Meredith being sick and came back to help or something.

Either way I was ecstatic when I saw George, as I said at some point before he was one of those characters that I didn't like before but the more I watched the show the more I appreciated him until he became one of my favorite characters on the show. He's every bit as 'Georgelike' as I remember him. The only thing was I was a little peeved at the fact that she got to be close to George and talk about her kids with him and not Derek but as I realised later apparently Derek is death and when she reaches him it means she choose to live. Which I'm ok with I guess it was good just seeing them again, and it was even better when we got to see the 4 OG's sitting together again even if it was just in a dream.

She has to pick her kids, they need her and so does GreySloan, she needs to live.

I'm hoping she recovers soon, as much as I would like to see even more visitors at the beach. Has Meredith not been through enough? Although this is as peaceful as I've seen her to be completely honest.

___________________________________________

Next week is looking extremely dramatic already.

Meredith seems to be getting better although who knows how long that will last.

Koracick is worst like I said before I don't think he will actually die but something extremely dramatic is going to happen besides him being near death it might be another peice to the Teddy, Owen and Tom love triangle seeing that they're both working on him.

And the last part I saw was Bailey's mom I knew her talking about her parents all of the sudden meant that something was going to happen to one or both of them. Unfortunately I think she might be the one to die Grey's has a habit of bringing in secondary characters when too many primary characters are at risk. Plus it'll give Bailey her plot which I'm lowkey ok with because Chandra Wilson's Emotional scenes are always on point.

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ronnie-azumane · 3 years

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Kitten?

This is something I came up with at midnight while trying to complete my numerous missing assignments. I apologize in advance

Summary: Tsukishima Kei is a mod of a discord server And with his luck, he finds his first love on the server he runs. He falls head over heels, and vows to fulfill all her needs. However, not everything is what it seems.

Tsukishima was a simple man with simple likes. Granted, However, these likes weren’t as commonplace among his peers.

Sure, he moderated a Discord Server full of people of all ages. In said server, they would play games and talk about the various shows they watched together, some of which were considered children shows.

“Anyone catch the new episode of My Little Pony?” someone on the server would ask.

Tsukishima would bat in immediately, saying, “Remember the two-week spoiler warning, everything else must be covered and properly tagged.” He was the perfect mod, as he was both online all the time he didn’t have school or practice, as well as he was a stickler for the rules. Plus, he had only recently gained access to last week’s episode not long ago, therefore, he had not seen the new episode.

Another thing he liked to do on this server was talk to others on the voice call feature. He enjoyed talking to the many people who decided to join the server, even making a couple of friends, which he refused to believe for the longest time.

One of these many friends was a user that went by the name of gamergirl05. She was a peculiar person, only logging in late at night and logging out early in the morning, only to be away from her computer until late that night again.

She intrigued Tsukishima. Not only was she one of the only girls on the server, she always seemed to be on the voice chat. She never typed messages, never spoke, unless she was spoken to on the voice call.

Her voice was soft and breathy, with a medium pitch. Her profile picture was a white cartoon cat against a pastel pink background. Sometimes, when playing videogames, you could here her grunt in frustration every once in a while.

Tsukishima couldn’t help from gaining a crush.

She didn’t seem clingy, she seemed rather chill and independent, it was like God itself sent this woman into Tsukishima’s life.

She was perfect.

Tsukishima couldn’t help but get excited whenever he saw that she was online. He would always join the voice call whenever he saw she was online.

They would have meaningful conversation. Tsukishima would learn much about her. She was living in Tokyo. She was a year older than Tsukishima; a second year in high school. She had been playing videogames for as long as she could remember. She has an overactive imagination, pretending that she was getting chased by dragons and facing checkpoints every time she walked to school in the morning. She wasn’t popular, but had a couple of close knit friends.

The more they talked, the more Tsukishima fell head over heels. However, the more he started to fall for her, the more he realized that he didn’t know how to express himself in a positive way. He was known as a negative nelly most of his life, with his relationship with the fellow members of the Karasuno volleyball club solidifying that feeling of disgust he felt toward others. Ever with his best friend Yamaguchi he was unable to show positive feelings toward, even though he didn’t feel anything negative toward his best friend.

Unknowing what to do, he looked up online ‘how to show someone you like them,’ only to come up with a website offering a free test to those wondering what their love language was. perfect.

Tsukishima took the test, answering each question as truthfully as he could, even asking his mom what she thought of him for one of the questions.

After thirty minutes of reading, understanding, and clicking, Tsukishima gat the result he was looking for- his love language.

His love language was gift-giving.

He knew exactly what to do at that point.

Later that night, he stared at the voice call box, waiting for a certain someone to join the call. At 11:00pm on the dot, gamergirl05 joined the call. Tsukishima joined the call soon after.

“Um, hey, uh, how was your day?” Tsukishima asked her.

“My day? I guess it was okay,” she replied. Her voice was still light and breathy as usual. Not too high-pitched as to make Tsukishima believe that she was fake, and not to low to make her sound unattractive to him. The perfect voice for arguably the perfect human.

“Do you have Nitro by any chance?” Tsukishima asked her.

“No, I don’t see the benefit for paying for it myself,” she replied.

“If someone got it for you, would you use it?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“I-I Don’t mid gifting it to you, if you tell me your Venmo, Ill send the money right now!”

“Ok.”

She read off a couple of letters and numbers, spelling out her Venmo for him to gift money to. Tsukishima used his mom’s credit card to send her over $50, with the unspoken promise of paying her back one day, even though she didn’t even know her youngest son stole her card.

They talked the rest of the night, until Tsukishima had to go to bed.

XxX

Tsukishima didn’t let up on his gifts to gamergirl05, or Cat as she started referring herself to. Anything she mentioned offhandedly form a new skin to a longing for a fast food meal, Tsukishima sent her the appropriate funds needed to retrieve that item.

Each monetary gift he sent on Venmo was given a reply of the kissing face emoji.

Tsukishima was over the moon. Not only was he becoming better at volleyball every day after school, but he was also getting closer and closer to Cat. When he found out that he was going to Tokyo for a training camp, he excitedly went online that night to tell cat about how he was going to be in Tokyo and that maybe they could meet up.

“Sorry, but I have plans for that weekend,” Cat said. Tsukishima sighed, but figured as much. He was disappointed, but not surprised.

However, he picked himself up by the bootstraps and packed up his stuff to go to Tokyo for the training camp.

XxX

The weekend was tough. Karasuno faced loss after loss against the Tokyo powerhouse schools. However, the team had learned a lot about both themselves and their offensive and defensive power.

After a long weekend of training, all the guys were sore. All their muscles were aching and screaming, begging for some relief. The coaches complied, supplying all the players with all the watermelon they could eat.

All the players gathered into groups, talking within each other’s friend groups. Tsukishima kept his distance from the others, with Yamaguchi joining in with them. They talked about various topics here and there, but nothing too serious.

Tsukishima was starting to zone out, thinking about Cat, and what she may or may not be doing. He hated to admit it, but he was head over heels in love, even though he had never seen Cat in a picture, much less in person.

While Tsukishima was zoning out, thinking of his unofficial lover, Hinata, Kenma, and Lev gathered nearby, talking loudly about who knows what. Tsukishima wasn’t paying attention, until the topic of discord came up. All his focus then went into listening in on this conversation.

“So you guys are on discord? What servers are you guys in?” Hinata asked.

“Not too many, I bet Kenma’s on a couple though,” Lev replied, only for Kenma to grunt in reply.

“Oh really! What servers are you on, Kenma?”

“Ehh, just a couple here and there. I frequent a My Little Pony server because a mod there gives me money a lot.”

Tsukishima felt a shock run throughout his body. A My Little Pony server? Maybe he was on the same server as him. He would never bring it up, but he was glad to know someone on the server; talking to 12-year-olds all day did get old.

“Wait, someone pays you to be on a My Little Pony server?” Lev asked.

“No, I think he is somehow attracted to me, every time I mention something I want, he sends me money.” Kenma replied, taking a massive bite out of his watermelon slice.

‘That’s kind of odd, who would give money like that to a guy like Kenma?’ Tsukishima thought.

“How did you do that, Kenma? I could sure use the extra cash,” Hinata asked.

“Well, Kuroo taught me to raise my voice like this to sound like some kind of gamer girl,” Kenma explained in a girly voice. Not too high to sound fake, not too low to sound unattractive. Perfect.

Just like Cat.

‘This has to be a coincidence, there’s no way that Kenma and Cat are the same person’ Tsukishima desperately thought.

“Oh, do you guys want to be friends on Discord, so we can keep in contact?” Hinata asked.

“I guess. I’m gamergirl05#0000,” Kenma replied, essentially murdering Tsukishima with his response.

Tsukishima stood up from where he was sitting. Forgetting the fact that he was still supposed to be in a conversation with Yamaguchi, he left the area, trying to find a secluded area, eventually settling for a small ally in between two of the gyms.

Once making sure he couldn’t be seen, he let all his held-in emotions out. He screamed up to the sky as the threw his watermelon rind against the wall, watching it break into numerous pieces.

“My Heart!” he screamed out, “I loved her!” He sank to the ground and let the tears flow. As he wailed out in despair, he covered his face with one hand while knocking his fist against the grass with his other.

Yamaguchi, who saw this all go down, ran up to go comfort his best friend. He didn’t know what was going on, other than the fact that his best friend was a mess on the floor.

How was Tsukishima going to tell his mom, who was already suspicious of him stealing her credit cards, that the money wasn’t being spent on her future Daughter in law? How was he going to log back in on the server, knowing he was cat fished?

He didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. All he knew at that moment was the soft an warm hand of Yamaguchi softly rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #hq #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi #hinata shōyō #shoyo hinata #kenma #kenma kuzome #lev haiba #fanfiction #this fanfic is stupid af I'm sorry #discord #discord mod #discord kitten

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greensydney · 3 years

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Wellness Segments from The Friend Zone Podcast

This is where I’ll be listing Fran’s Wellness Segments. It will be updated regularly. Any specific products/stores mentioned will be linked :)

Ep. 1: It’s Ok to Log Off

Being the first episode, Fran starts us off easy with a loving suggestion to take a social media break. At the time of this recording, “Twitterless Assante” was reaping the benefits of taking mindless twitter scrolling out of his life for some time.

Ep. 2: Family Matters

This is where we start digging in and doing the work. Here, Fran asks us to look within to resolve family disputes that have gone unchecked. Have the talks that you have been avoiding, even if it feels uncomfortable. Remember to come from a place of compassion when approaching loved ones, and to not take anything personally. Which is a theme throughout many of the early episodes, as it’s the 2nd agreement in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, one of the many books Fran has suggested.

Ep. 3: Take 5

Work on building and maintaining a healthy morning routine. This helps set the tone of the day. By leaving our phone out of this part of the day, we can avoid things like waking up to a long, angry text or some other drama and letting that guide how the rest of day goes. Basically, set the tone of your day before taking in information from anyone else.

Ep. 4: Surrender

Meditate, meditate, meditate.

Osho books are great for learning more about quieting the mind, as recommended by Fran. Sadhguru is another great teacher who I look to for insight on meditation, mindfulness, parenting, and just life in general. He has a channel on YouTube with tons of videos. Fran also recommends trying Mala beads to assist with meditation, or maybe journaling afterwards. She really just stresses the importance of beginning a meditation practice, without fear of doing it “right” or “wrong”.

Ep. 5: Even Martha Went to Jail

No clear-cut Wellness Segment for this week, but the main gist of things was: create what you want, what feels good for you. Critics will appear for everyone, no matter how great they are, so do you. Don’t keep yourself from creating things because of fear of how others will receive it.

Ep. 6: Tacos & Quickweave

In your journal, dissect the relationship you are in. Asking questions like, “Why are you with this person? Who are you *really* doing this relationship for?” For singles, ask questions like, “What am I *really* looking for, in a person? How do I want to feel when I’m with them? How do I want to show up in their lives? How do I want them to show up in my life?” For those resistant to relationships, ask yourself why and really work through it to get those answers that you seek. ~meditate, meditate, meditate ~

Ep. 7: The Choir & The Competition Are Out

Parents: Sit with our children and start asking them questions about their interests. Fran shares how she was impacted by her mom not being more encouraging about her becoming a singer, so she wants us to know how important it is to truly listen when our kids ask to pursue new things, even if it isn’t exactly what we pictured for them.

For everyone, even those who don’t have children or maybe they aren’t quite at the age to start discussing these things: we were all a child at some point. Many people can benefit from asking ourselves if the profession we are in is for you, or if you were just trying to please our own parents. It’s never too late to begin learning more about anything that excites you.

Ep. 8: Fitness Regine Hunter

(I’m pretty sure they purposely didn’t spell it “regime” because of the difficulty for many in pronouncing the word. lmao)

In this episode, Fran speaks on the importance of holistic health and wellbeing, sharing how much it has shaped who she is and improved her life. She wants us to really sit with ourselves and think about the things we want to work on. Ask, “What can I do to ensure that I’m being the most beautiful *me* possible?” From skin and hair care, to diet, to fitness, to the way we talk to ourselves or others. All the little things that make up holistic living. No quick fixes! We’re here to werrrrrrk, hunty.

“Forget the internet for a second. Forget what the Instagram models look like, we’re talking about YOU...” - Fran the MF Goat.

Implement a fitness regime that works for you. Maybe it’s part of your morning routine, maybe it’s an after dinner thing; everyone gets to choose what is best for them and that’s part of the beauty of this life. :) Try a few things and see what works. There is an emphasis on the importance of starting slow, allowing your mind and body to get used to new activity. Fran started off with walking, increasing her distance over time, and then turned that into jogging when it felt right for her. Blogilates and Yoga With Adriene are YouTube channels she mentions here. I have been hooked to yoga ever since trying a few videos from Adriene. Yoga by Biola is another great channel to check out. Biola has this video, “Restorative Yoga for Collective Trauma”, which I love. I learned of her from The Friend Zone earlier in 2020.

Skin and Hair: Check out Frans YouTube channel to see all the informative videos she has on all-natural beauty and health tips. Personally, I really like Naptural85 for hair videos as my curl pattern is very similar to hers. Click around on suggested videos to find the ones that speak to you.

Ep. 9: Don’t Forget the Feet

OIL UP! From head-to-toe. Get that moisture. Especially in these colder months. Hands, feet, nails, toenails...literally everywhere. Dustin cannot get over the importance of the feet. Fran says this aztec healing clay is great for dry, cracked feet, and she hinted at its ability to fix some facial skin woes as well. Extra Fran tip: put a small amount of oil on your nail beds before painting them. This protects the skin and promotes nail growth. I tried this myself and it’s a game changer in my nail health! They used to get cracks in them once they start getting to a certain length, but if i keep them oiled up, they are smooth as precious little stones. :)

Ep. 10: A$AP Shirley Caesar

This episode reminds us that finances, too, can impact our total feeling of well-being. The Friends all want us to get our finances in order, taking the tiniest of baby steps, if needed. Fran’s 3 things to cut back on:

Eating Out

Online Shopping

Places like Target, where you go for 1 thing and leave with a full cart.

Making these sacrifices adds up. The goal is that eventually, any big things that are weighing on our mental due to finances can more easily be dealt with.

Ep. 11: And I’m Telling You, I’m NOT Going!

It’s all about skin-care in this wellness segment! Starting with what goes into your body, and ending with what goes on your body. First off: DRINK LOTS OF WATER! This not only promotes healthy skin but as we all know, it’s just good for the body in general. The body runs nice and smoothly when it’s hydrated from the inside-out.

If you need to cut down on your caffeine intake (I’m right there with ya), Fran suggested Yerba Mate. It’s a natural source of caffeine and much cleaner than what comes in other energy drinks. I must say, I feel like the naturally occurring caffeine just hits different. I was hyyype the first few times I got a Yerba Mate instead of my usual orange Red Bull! Energy drink isn’t the only form to get your Yerba fix, thankfully. It’s sold as a loose leaf tea, or in bagged tea as well. I LOVE coffee though, and I am not giving that up so easy. I find that bringing mindfulness to my habits with it, helps me to not consume too much.

Now, for the outside of the body: washing and moisturizing daily is imperative. This may be obvious to some, but it can also feel difficult for those with a really busy schedule. I know for me, as a mom, there has been many times when I only had one chance to take a shower on a given day, and if I didn’t take it, I was always sorry. Or I would take a rushed, half-effort shower and get dressed immediately after without oil, lotion, anything. Having a routine in place for daily washing and moisturizing (that works with my sporadic life) helps me make sure it won’t get missed. Again, as with episode 9, OIL UP! Coconut oil is a great choice, but my skin just drinks it up like water. Sesame oil is a nice alternative because it’s a bit thicker. It was hard for me to get used to smelling like a huge sesame seed though, not gonna lie. But there are so many different oils and butters out there to love our bodies with, just use some trial and error to find which one(s) work best for you.

Last thing: Bedding. Change it at least once a week. Get on the silk pillowcase train! Or if you real fancy, like Fran, get you a full-on silk sheet set. Cotton sheets soak up all the moisture from our skin that we work so hard and lovingly on.

Ep. 12: The Shut Down Mixtape

House cleaning time! Clean your fridge, clean your closets, clean your desk drawers. Clean everything! Trying to especially bring focus to areas that are often overlooked in your regular daily cleaning. By doing this, we clear out old energy, removing heaviness from our homes that we may not even realize is there. I personally can vouch that this helps with anxiety and even lifts my depression symptoms as well. It feels good when the space I live in looks and smells nice, so taking the effort is more than worthwhile.

Ep. 13: Oh God…

Get in touch with what religion/spirituality mean to YOU. This one was hard for me because I wasn’t raised with much knowledge of (or respect for, sadly) religion. As I grew, I became super interested in the various religions and how they affect the lives of others - good or bad. I’ve now learned to adapt my own spiritual practices that support me and help me get by. And this is life changing.

Ep. 14: Say It Like You Mean It

Here, we are instructed to find out what our individual love language is. This comes from the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The 5 Love Languages are:

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

You may already have an idea of what your primary love language is, but you can get some more information on that by reading the book or by taking quizzes on the book’s website. Knowing your love language, as a single, can help you define what you need from a partner. As someone in a relationship, it can help both partners learn how to best make sure everyone knows they are loved and valued.

Ep. 15: Yo Mama

Scalp Care for Winter Weather!

½ Cup Olive Oil ~ Seals in moisture

2 Tbsp. Honey (Fran uses Raw honey) ~ Creates pretty shine

½ Cup Coconut Milk ~ Adds protein

½ an Avocado ~ Healthy fat

½ a Banana ~ Softens hair

Blend all ingredients into a creamy conditioner, which should come out a nice light greenish color.

I keep forgetting coconut milk at the store or else I’d have been tried this one, smh *face palm* But I will edit to add my review after I finally do this. :)

Ep. 16: Non Profit & Chill

This episode had no segments, but we can still gain a wellness tip from it. Recorded right after Fran returned from a trip to Africa, she had a ton of insight to share on why it’s so important to be an ethical consumer. This episode was a great one to re-listen to as it reminded me that I am reading labels and the “about” pages on brand’s websites for a valid reason that is important to me, not just following trends. Dang imposter syndrome, always trying to step in and ruin everything (shoutout to the Friend Zone for teaching me about that as well, in a later episode.)

Fair Trade Errything !!!

Ep. 17: There’s A Song For That

No wellness segment this week, per say, but again I’ll summarize the episode to make it wellness for us all. The friends basically dode over their favorite break-up songs, from the deepest of soul, to the pettiest of rap songs. Many genres listed, and many bangers. This episode is a great listen for those going through a breakup, or even if you’re a big fan of the episodes where the Friends just let loose and have fun.

Ep. 18: Don’t You Go To Work?

Inspired by Assante and his newly purchased stones, which he is carrying safely in his pocket, Fran suggested that us listeners get in on the magic as well by getting our own stones. Starting with Citrine. This stone is a light orange color, and can be found online or in local crystal stores in most cities. Often referred to as “the merchants stone”, Citrine is believed to attract success. Fran offered the idea of laying it on some money, because she did it and got a random check in the mail soon after...And I kid you not - I did it, and the saaame thing happened to me. I was shook and beyond grateful!

Other stones mentioned here are Lapis Lazuli and Black Tourmaline. Lapis is a pretty, royal blue shade, usually with gold flakes in it. Lapis is known as the “communication stone”. Black Tourmaline is, you guessed it, black, and often found in shiny pieces. Fran says she keeps one of these by her bedside to absorb negative thoughts; letting it cleanse her energy before bed.

Stores mentioned on this episode: Rock Star, and Namaste shop. Both New York based but have online shopping available. Personally, and this is gonna sound real woo-woo, but I prefer picking out stones in person because then I can actually feed off of their energy to pick the right one for me. Those living in a small town, there is probably a crystal shop not too far away.

Ep. 19: The Friend Zone & The Read Mash Up Pt. 1

Wellness this week: be messy and silly with your friends. For me, I don’t currently have any real life friends to hang out with, plus COVID, so my family gets to enjoy all my silly mess. Life just cannot be lived being serious 100% of the time!

Ep. 20: 2015, I’ma Let You Finish, But 2016…

I loved this episode because it brings us back to our journals. Fran asks the guys and us listeners to reflect on two simple, but powerful questions to answer at the end of each year:

What are 3 things you discovered about yourself this year that you love? Things that you feel will propel you into the next year, as a person, career-wise, and as a whole. Write freely about how you plan on maintaining and evolving.

What are 3 things you discovered about yourself this year that you did not like? Maybe some of these things are hard to face. Reflect on how you’ve allowed them to hold you back and what you are doing to adjust them.

#friendzonepod #wellness #holisticliving #forthe #hoodhearted

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fandomrewrites · 4 years

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Season 2; Episode 3: Ice Pick

Hello all! I’m back home from my vacation so I’ll be back to updating every Monday but I figured since I missed last week I would post a chapter today! I hope you all enjoy and as always constructive criticism is welcomed!

Season 2; Episode 3: Ice Pick

Pairings: Scott McCall x Twin Sister, Lydia Martin x Best Friend

Warnings: Nothing

Word Count: 2,220

Season 2 Masterlist

Today was the day we were rock climbing in gym class. I was standing next to Lydia and Stiles as we watched Allison and Scott climb the wall. Allison and Scott slowly made their way up the wall, clearly talking to each other. After about a minute they start racing the other up, Scott using his supernatural abilities to stay just above Allison. When Allison looks to see Scott by her side, she quickly kicks his foot away from the wall. She smiles triumphantly seeing him fall back to the ground, the safety line stopping him right before he slams into the mat.

I smirk as Coach leans down to speak to my brother, “McCall, I don’t know why, but your pain gives me a special kind of joy.” He straightens back out and turns around to address the class, “All right, next two. Stilinski. Erica. Let’s go.”

Stiles happily steps up towards the mat, getting on his harness and safety lines without a problem.

Nervously, Erica Reyes, a skinny girl with dull blue eyes and fizzy blonde hair, steps up beside him. As soon as they are both safely attached to the harness and cables they start climbing.

Stiles has no problem quickly reaching the top and making his way back down. Erica on the other hand, has made it about a quarter of the way up and stays frozen to the spot. As we all gaze up at her Coach starts speaking, “Erica? You okay? Dizzy? Vertigo?”

Next to me Lydia sighs, “Vertigo’s a dysfunction of the vestibular system of the inner ear. She’s just freaking out.”

I lightly elbow her, I’ve never talked to Erica, hell I barely even knew she exists since she’s never been in my friend group, but I still don’t want people to make fun of someone with a fear.

Once again Coach calls out, “Erica!”

“I’m fine!” She shakily calls out, still frozen on the rock wall.

“Coach, maybe it’s not safe. You know she’s epileptic.” Allison speaks up.

“She is? Why the hell doesn’t anyone tell me these things? Erica, you’re good. Push off. I’ll ease you down.” Erica is still frozen, the only thing she moves is her eyes, squeezing them shut.

“Erica just let go.” Coach calls up once more. Finally, Erica gently pushes off the wall. She grasps tightly to the safety line as Coach eases her from the wall. Her feet hit the mat and she shakily gets out of the harness, “That’s it. Erica. Shake it off.”

A few kids snicker at her as she walks to the back of the crowd. Sighing, I step up to the wall with Lydia by my side. I turn to her, smirking, “Race you to the top?”

There is a mischievous glint in her eyes as she replies, “It’s on.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

Now in the locker room, I was changing out of my gym clothes with Allison and Lydia nearby. “You’re coming with us tonight, right?”

I look over at Lydia and immediately shake my head. “What? Why?”

“Well Allison and Scott are going to be together, and even though you don’t like him like that Stiles and you will be together.”

Lydia pulls her lips into a pout, “That’s not happening and you know it.”

I roll my eyes but before I can say anything Allison speaks, “Nothing has to happen, but the point is that you two did go to the dance together and he does like you. (Y/N) doesn’t want to be a fifth wheel.”

I nod my head, agreeing with the hunter. “You won’t be the fifth wheel! Stiles would be.” Lydia exclaims with a bright smile lighting up her face.

I shake my head, a laugh escaping, “I am not getting in between whatever weird relationship you and Stiles have.”

Lydia dramatically sighs, “Then bring a date! There are plenty of guys on the lacrosse team that would love to go out with you!”

I scrunch my nose up at the thought, “No thanks. I’m living my life and I do not need a man in it to be happy.” I pause pulling my shirt over my head, “Plus, Nate really screwed me over and no matter how much I want to move on, I know it wouldn’t be fair to whoever I go out with. I’m just not ready to start dating yet.”

Lydia’s shoulders sagged as we made our way out of the locker room and back into the gym, “You girls have fun though.” I smile, trying to cheer Lydia up.

Just as I finished speaking we looked up and saw Scott running towards the rock wall, making it just in time to catch Erica from hitting the ground.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I sat with the girls at lunch, Lydia still trying to convince me to come with them to the ice rink tonight. Before I could speak and tell her no once more the cafeteria doors burst open, our heads all swivel to look at whoever enters.

The girl has a face full of makeup, styled blonde hair, a tight black skirt, showing off her long legs, a white tank top and black heels. “What. The holy hell. Is that?” Lydia asks.

Scott’s eyebrows knit together, “That’s Erica.” He states from the table next to us.

As the exchange is happening, Erica reaches down grabbing an apple from another student’s tray. She bites into it, then quickly turns on her heel and walks out the doors. Scott, Stiles and I quickly move after her.

We follow her to the front of the school where she exists, walking down the steps and into a black Camaro, Derek Hale sitting behind the wheel.

“So what? He’s just turning a bunch of teenagers?” Stiles asks.

Scott gulps, “He’s forming a pack.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

I sit at my desk writing an essay for class. I’m so focused that I don’t hear my mom walk into the room behind me, “Working on homework?”

I jump at the sound of her voice, “God, mom! Don’t do that.”

She chuckles gently, “Sorry.”

Turning to look at my mom who sits on my bed, I answer, “Yeah, I have an essay for English due in a couple of days.”

She nods, “Scott’s not home?”

I shake my head, “He’s with Stiles.”

“You didn’t want to go with them?” She asks.

“Not today. I figured they should have some guy time.”

“What about Lydia?”

“She’s on a date. She tried to set me up so we could go on a double date like we used to but I said no.”

“Well why not? I’m sure there are plenty of guys from school that would love to go out with you.”

I sighed and stood up to sit next to my mother. I laid my head on her lap as she started playing with my hair, “Well-” I hesitate before speaking up again, “I know that what Nate did was horrible, but I can’t help but still care about him.”

“Oh sweetie, you loved him. He broke your heart. It’s going to take some time for you to move on and that is okay.” My eyes started to get misty as I rapidly blink, refusing to cry.

“I know I just- I don’t want to care about him anymore. He doesn’t deserve my love.”

My mother smiled sadly, “No, he doesn’t. But I think it’s beautiful, how deeply you care and love. That’s something to cherish (Y/N).” She paused for a minute, continuing to run her hand through my long locks, “It’s alright to feel broken sometimes and someday you will find someone who looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. And when that day comes and all the days leading up until then, I will be by your side.”

I sat up and pulled her into a tight hug, “I love you so much, mommy.”

“I love you too.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

At lunch the next day I sat near Allison and Lydia, like most days. “How was the date last night? I never got the chance to ask.” I look at the two girls waiting for an answer.

“It was nice to be able to go on a date again.” Allison smiled.

I turned to Lydia, “I surprisingly had a good time. But that may just be because I’m good at ice skating.”

I smirk, “Are you sure it’s not because Stiles was there?”

Lydia rolls her eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I don’t know why you won’t give him a chance. He practically worships the ground you walk on. He’ll treat you like a queen.”

“I don’t like him like that. And once again, I’m going to ask. If you have such high praise for him why don’t you date him?”

I shake my head, “One it would be weird considering he’s practically another brother. And two I’m not ready to date again, which you already know.”

Lydia gently grabs my hand, “(Y/N/N) I know that you’re hurt about how Nate treated you but you need to move on. He’s not worth it and there are so many people at this school alone that have crushes on you.”

“She’s right you know.” Allison pipes up.

“Not you too.” I groan, looking at the hunter.

“Listen, I get it. You loved Nate and it’s going to take some time to fully get over him. But as long as the guys that you go on dates with understand that you aren’t ready for a real relationship, what’s the harm?” Allison says.

I sigh, “I guess there is no harm to going on dates if they’re aware of where I stand. I just don’t want to lead someone on.”

“That’s why you tell them the truth from the beginning. I mean I’m pretty sure everyone in the school knows what happened between you and Nate anyway. I’m sure whoever you choose to date will understand.” Allison smiles.

“Or you could have some fun.” Lydia shrugs,

I raise an eyebrow, “You mean don’t tell them anything and just lead them on?”

“No. I mean don’t do dates but become friends with benefits with someone.”

I laugh, “I’ll pass, Lyds.”

“It’s just an option.” She hums, a small smile on her face.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Just as school lets out Scott and Stiles filled me in on what they knew about Derek’s new pack. “So he’s going after Boyd?” I question.

Scott nods, “I’m going to head to the ice rink to see if he’s at work. Stiles is heading to his house.”

I nod, “I would volunteer to come with one of you but I promised Lydia I would hang out today. Be careful, both of you.” The two brunettes nod as we go our separate ways.

“There you are.” Lydia says as I meet her by her car.

“Sorry, I was talking with Scott and Stiles.”

“I’m happy you said yes to a girl’s afternoon. I feel like we haven’t hung out in forever. Just the two of us, I mean.”

I smile, “I know. I miss our girl days.”

Once we made it to her house we grabbed some snacks from the kitchen and headed up to her room. “Okay so I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Lydia says as we sit next to each other on her bed.

“If this is about trying to set me up you already know how I feel about that.”

“Okay, one, I figured Allison and I convinced you to give dating a try. And two, it’s not about that.”

“If I do give dating a try, I want it to be with someone I choose. Not someone you set me up with. Bit that’s beside the point, what was it that you wanted to talk about.”

Lydia sighs, “I told the others not to tell you but I hate hiding things from you.” She pauses as I knit my eyebrows together in confusion. “Something happened at the ice rink yesterday.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well- It’s hard to explain.” Lydia bites her lip.

I reach for her hand to provide some sort of comfort, “Hey, it’s alright. Take your time.”

She nods, “I don’t really know what happened but one minute everything was fine and the next I was on my knees looking at the ice and screaming.” She gulps before she continues, “I think it might have something to do with when I went missing.”

“Maybe it’s your mind trying to remember what happened.” I suggest.

“It could be.” She replies hesitantly. “I just feel like a freak. Everyone was so worried about me and I couldn’t even give them an explanation of what happened.”

“Well trust me, Scott, Stiles, and Allison will not look at you like you’re a freak. Plus, even if they did, they’ll have to look at me like I’m a freak. ‘Cause I’m never leaving your side, no matter how freaky you may become.” I gently smile at my best friend.

Lydia starts smiling at my words, “I guess we’ll just have to be gorgeous freaks together.”

“Always.” I pull her into a tight hug. We both fall onto her mattress as we laugh at the other.

#teen wolf imagine #series rewrite #sister mccall imagine #lydia martin imagine

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ericdeggans · 3 years

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Tom Hanks, Fox News and Me: Life at the Center of a Media S#@tstorm

When you write a column that puts you in the middle of a media crapstorm, it is one of the oddest places to sit in modern life.

This happened most recently last week, when Fox News decided to misrepresent a column I wrote urging Tom Hanks to bring antiracist action to his work as a film star, executive producer, writer and all-around upstanding guy in Hollywood.

Their hysterical, inaccurate insistence that I was trying to cancel Hanks turned the column into a massive flashpoint for reaction on social media and otherwise. Unfortunately, it seemed people were often reacting to the column Fox News pundits wish I had written, instead of the measured piece I actually did write.

NPR’s weekly podcast Consider This did an amazing, 16-minute bonus episode featuring me discussing my ideas and conclusions after a couple of days at the center of a Fox News-fed media cyclone. Host Audie Cornish was sharp and insightful, as always, and we covered a lot of the ideas I could only hint at in a longish essay.

But I also came away with a few more observations about trying to talk about race, media and representation in today’s media environment. Here’s a few ideas:

Observation 1: In today’s toxic media culture, if an opponent doesn’t make the argument they want, some media outlets say they did it anyway. Nowhere in my essay does the word “cancel” appear. So how did Fox News and other conservative media outlets get the idea that my column was invoking or part of “cancel culture?”

Newsmax TV ran a segment headlined “NPR writer cancels Tom Hanks.” Fox News host Brian Kilmeade said “cancel culture (is) coming for one of Hollywood’s most beloved stars.” A segment in Fox News’ America’s Newsroom program featured a photo of Tom Hanks with the word “cancelled” plastered across his face. A commentator for The Daily Wire who I do not know and haven’t met said that I must believe “white people are villains” and “this is a man who simply hates white people and can't contain it.”

But I wrote in my column, “These stories of white Americans smashing the Nazi war machine or riding rockets into space are important.” The biggest thing that bothered me about them – and Hanks, who admitted as much in his own essay – was that Black people’s stories were too often left out of those tales. They define a type of American mythos that erases Black people’s presence, and that should change.

These outlets wanted to have a one-sided argument about the unfairness of “cancel culture” – with an added side benefit of demonizing me and NPR. So they pretended my column said something that it did not. They took aim at a fictional version of my work which was much easier to criticize. Just another example of all the ways in which Fox News and some of ideologically focused news outlets often broadcast reports which are not fair, balanced or accurate to serve their political agendas.

And, in an odd aside, none of these outlets contacted me for comment or tried to ask me any questions or asked me to come on their shows to debate what I had written.

Observation #2: It feels weird, as a black person, to say something relatively mild and get accused of acting violently or in an extreme way. It’s something that is already an odd feature of the stereotypes Black people contend with; that sometimes, expressing resistance or a contrary opinion is perceived as more hostile and threatening than it really is.

My column had some pretty mild criticisms of Hanks – mostly that he’s helped shape white-centered history narratives, has the power to correct that situation and should have said so in his own guest essay. But the headlines reporting on my column made it sound like I’d advocated running him out of Hollywood with pitchforks and torches.

The American Conservative’s piece was headlined “Shaming Private Ryan.” Breitbart.com’s piece noted, “NPR TV Critic Hits Tom Hanks…” MRCTV’s story said “Sorry Forrest: NPR Blasts Hanks…” Something called American Ground Radio put up a clip on YouTube called “NPR’s TV Critic…Attacks Tom Hanks…”

The less said about the response I got on social media, the better. But there were emails with the n-word and worse; messages on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook filled with insults and hysteria. The overreaction was knee-jerk, often vulgar and completely out of proportion to the measured tone of both my column and Tom Hanks’ essay.

Part of this, I think, is habit. We are used to talking about controversial race issues in combative ways, for many reasons: the stakes are often so high and getting people to think outside their comfort zones sometimes requires a jarring example to get attention. So conversations about racial oppression are centered on when a calamity has happened – something terrible has happened and now we’re going to try and talk about one of the most combustible subjects in American society.

And there are people who don’t want this conversation to be measured. They want to convince others that change to produce equality will somehow destroy what they have or threaten what they love. For these people, when we all argue about equality rather than discuss opportunity, they have a ready-made example for turning away from progress.

There’s a dynamic in racial issues, particularly in America, called “attributional ambiguity.” It’s the idea that, when ambiguously insulting or negative things happen to non-white people in white-dominated settings, people of color have a tough time judging whether racism is playing a part.

Seeing so many, mostly white pundits accuse me of doing something so much more aggressive than I actually did left me awash with this feeling. Sure, some of it was just ideologues doing what they do. But it felt like that wasn’t the only thing going on here.

Observation #3: It was odd to see so many pundits acts as if a Black media critic had no right to suggest how best to address the suppression of Black stories in Hollywood. So many of the negative reactions I got to the column supposedly looked at the issue from Hanks’ point of view, assuming that he would be put off by being told by a Black writer that he hadn’t done enough to combat the erasure of Black stories from history-based works.

There’s always people who say I am revealing bias and shouldn’t express my opinion, somehow missing the job title which indicates that critical opinion is pretty much the central element of my job. And conservative ideologues are always trying to absolve their followers of trying to address racial inequity by saying that liberals will never be happy with anything they do.

But ultimately, I realized what bugged me the most about these criticisms: A Black critic, who has written about race and media for decades, made suggestions about how to solve the erasure of Black stories from Hollywood, and was told he had no right to start that conversation.

It reminded me of something I learned when I did a lot of reporting and talked to tons of experts about antiracism last summer. Sometimes, when people of color step forward and say what they would like to see in the effort to fight racism, the best thing a white ally can do is listen and help lift up their voice.

Listen. And help lift up their voice.

So often, in today’s always-on, always broadcasting, always reacting media culture, that is the toughest thing to do.

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Nostalgia, Part 4 (Rujubee) - Dartmouth420

nostalgia is a series that follows the re-ignition of raven/jujubee’s friendship (with benefits) while jujubee competes on all stars five and raven is working on set. there will be one chapter for every episode of AS5 where jujubee appears. drag names used with male pronouns.

summary: Jujubee is not going to be in the bottom this week due to a damn curse, thank you very much. But messing with other people’s feelings is never a good idea… because his own tend to get caught up in it too.

a/n: i had writers block but then i recovered by listening to hit the back by king princess like twenty times in a row lmao. enjoy the side mizbee (crackjubee?) also this is not how negotiating a dom/sub relationship should go in real life my friends, this is one hundred percent pure fantasy.

tw: dom/sub dynamics, mild daddy kink, mild choking, jealousy, smut

The day wasn’t going particularly well.

Jujubee was very much not appreciating the ‘challenge winner one week, bottom two the next’ curse that loomed over him. The challenge was improv and while Jujubee was confident in his improv skills he was feeling a little chagrined at the production’s decision to group together the queens with the most conflict. But whatever, this wasn’t RuPaul’s Best Friend’s Race, after all. Ha.

But Cracker decided that once again he needed to make a speech about however the hell he was feeling towards Blair. Blair took it in stride and Jujubee watched the whole thing like a tennis match. These little white boys needed to get their damn selves under control. Jujubee re-focused on the task at hand.

Luckily they broke from filming for lunch soon afterwards. Everyone ate and bitched and complained.

Movement caught Jujubee’s eye, and of course, there was Raven sauntering into the break room like he owned the place. He made a beeline to Jujubee, who nodded and opened his mouth to say hello. But with an extra little swing of his hips, Raven changed direction at the last moment and went over to Mayhem, whom he gave a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“I’ve been missing you bitch, it’s been too long!” said Raven, an arm around Mayhem, radiating charm.

The two of them were friends, considered Jujubee, shutting his mouth and taking in the surprised and pleased look on Mayhem’s face. They chatted back and forth for a couple minutes until Raven glanced over his shoulder at Jujubee, and then went over to speak to Shea.

“What you’re doing on the runway is everything,” complimented Raven, with a flirtatious little shake of his shoulders.

Jujubee raised an eyebrow. Raven was laying it on a bit thick.

“Thanks?” responded Shea, slightly confused, flashing Raven a smile, “Can I expect good reviews on FPR?”

“I’ll see how I feel in eight months, honey.” That stupid little tilt of Raven’s head. Shea’s wonderful laugh.

Raven gave Jujubee a knowing side-eyed look and then went over to Blair. Mayhem and Shea, Jujubee could understand, but he knew that Raven did not have an established rapport with Blair. Blair seemed surprised and vaguely taken aback by Raven, who asked him how filming was going and nodded understandingly to his answer and delicately touched the younger man’s back.

Well, now Jujubee was disgruntled. And pissed off about being disgruntled, because Jujubee did not lose his gruntle easily, thank you very much.

But two could play at this game. Jujubee glanced over to Cracker and India.

“… I just don’t know, I’m feeling fucking weird-” continued Cracker to India, who was nodding. Jujubee had to do something about this because he was not going to lose the challenge. Cracker needed to calm the fuck down, stat, and Jujubee could certainly manage that if he played his cards right. Succeeding in the competition was way more important than whatever the hell Raven was playing at.

“Hey,” said Jujubee, going over to Cracker, who was anxiously running his hands through his already-greasy hair again, “Come here for a minute, I need to talk to you.”

Jujubee glanced over at Raven who was watching him, a slight frown on his face as he half-nodded to what Blair was saying. Then Jujubee turned and left, Cracker in tow, feeling Raven’s eyes on his back all the way out.

Jujubee quickly made his way through the backstage area to the hallway where Raven had led him during that first week of filming. A PA stopped him and asked what he was doing but Jujubee waved her off with the excuse that they were heading outside for a smoke break. Cracker followed him silently.

“You need to calm the fuck down,” said Jujubee, opening the door to the disused equipment room where he and Raven had had such a lovely time, and motioned with his head. Cracker went in ahead of him, a suspicious look on his face. Jujubee flicked the light and shut the door.

Cracker looked around, “I’m trying, alright? I don’t know why I have all this drama out of the blue, but the challenge-”

“Look I’ve been doing this for a long time, it’s not that complicated,” stated Jujubee, “You’re funny. I’m funny. Blair’s a baby with a billion Instagram followers. We’re professionals, we can do this, and at the end of the day it’s just a damn TV show, so relax.”

“Yeah, I- okay,” said Cracker, nodding to him, gritting his teeth, “I can relax.”

That was just about the least relaxed statement Jujubee had ever heard in his life.

But perhaps words weren’t the best way to go about this. Perhaps Cracker just needed someone else to take charge. Bizarrely deciding to trust Raven’s statement from the other night in his hotel room, Jujubee went for it.

“That doesn’t sound very relaxed, girl!” laughed Jujubee, comfortable, “But maybe I can help you out with that…”

Now Cracker looked confused, and glanced around the room again, before his brown eyes landed back on Jujubee’s. And there was a little bit of intrigue, wasn’t there?

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying…?” said Cracker, inclining his chin.

“Stay quiet and don’t be a little bitch about it,” said Jujubee, allowing the dominant tone to slip into his voice. Clear, expectant, authoritative.

Cracker quirked an eyebrow in response, an interested smile growing.

Very pleased that things were going his way, Jujubee stepped forward and knelt in front of Cracker. Cracker took in a breath and gave Jujubee a quick nod of confirmation and Jujubee unbuckled Cracker’s belt, pulling his pants them down around his thighs and made straight for the rapidly hardening cock in his briefs. Interesting.

Aiming for efficiency, Jujubee got Cracker’s cock out, gave it an appreciative look and swirled his tongue around the tip, earning a very aroused noise from Cracker. Jujubee took it in his mouth and went to work.

“Oh, fuck,” muttered Cracker, the muscles in his thighs tensing. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. Jujubee didn’t particularly like being touched while he gave head, but Cracker didn’t seem like the type to touch without asking, and he refrained from doing so, keeping his hands to himself.

Jujubee worked Cracker’s cock enthusiastically, and gripped his ass with his left hand and a little thrill grew in his gut. This was fun, quick and dirty and hopefully it would lead him to his end goal, which was getting Cracker to chill the fuck out so they could win this challenge together.

It wasn’t quite as much fun as face-fucking Raven in drag, but he really shouldn’t be comparing…

Soon enough Cracker’s breath was ragged, and he whispered, “I’m gonna come-”

Jujubee briefly considered the fact that he hadn’t properly prepared for this, and there weren’t any great options other than to just swallow. It wasn’t his favourite thing, but it would have to do for today.

Cracker let out a filthy groan, and Jujubee took it and swallowed, and then he moved back, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. Cracker was still recovering, tucking his cock back into his briefs, and re-buckling his belt with a shaking hand.

“Woah,” said Cracker, with a quick shake of his head, “That was good.”

“You feeling more relaxed, baby?” teased Jujubee.

“Yeah, actually,” murmured Cracker, “Maybe I was just pent up…”

Jujubee gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder and then opened the door and glanced outside. There was no one in the hallway, so they left together.

That had been pretty fun, considered Jujubee as he followed Cracker back down the hallway to their break area, and he’d heard rumours of Cracker’s other talents in the bedroom. This could become a sensible arrangement. It wasn’t like Jujubee needed Raven, after all. Raven was chaotic, and he wasn’t even on the show this season. He was in an entirely different headspace than Jujubee and his fellow contestants.

Just as they were rounding the corner back to the break room, movement caught Jujubee’s eye again. He glanced through an open doorway into the makeup studio to see Raven look up, and give him a very pointed glare before returning to furiously brushing out a big blonde wig.

Jujubee didn’t say anything, nor did he stop. Raven’s feelings were his own problem, and Jujubee couldn’t let this nonsense get to him. But he did feel sorry for that poor wig.

Jujubee’s team performed excellently in the challenge and Jujubee felt pretty damn good about it. Almost having a little in-drag make out session with Cracker was pretty fun too, and Jujubee found he liked Cracker a lot better when his confidence was up.

The next day was the runway. Jujubee realized while watching everyone else get ready that perhaps his outfit was a bit minimal in comparison. Nonetheless, he thought it looked sleek and expensive, and the matching nails, clutch and shoes were a nice touch. But whatever.

Cracker won the challenge. Jujubee placed high as well and privately allowed himself a sigh of relief. He’d broken the curse, at least for tonight.

After the critiques they all trooped off the runway, and Jujubee affectionately touched Cracker’s back on the way out.

“Congratulations on the win, bitch,” whispered Jujubee into Cracker’s ear.

“Thanks,” he replied, “I think you’re owed it too.”

“Ah, I barely did anything.”

Cracker snorted, “You got me to relax, do you know how hard that is? I’ve led several doctors to burnout.”

“Looks like all you needed to be prescribed was a decent blowjob.”

Cracker chuckled and Jujubee followed him, last in line. The queens moved through to the backstage, going past where they filmed Untucked for the regular season into the area with the moveable walls that made up the hallway. There was a stretch where the crew was sparse, the cameras guys going ahead. A gap between two walls was ahead on Jujubee’s left. The PA behind him turned, pressing his headset, summoned back to the runway area.

A hand closed around Jujubee’s wrist and yanked him into the gap between the walls. Jujubee yelped in shock and then recovered his balance as he saw Raven before him in the dark alcove, six feet of petulant anger.

“Why are you flirting with him?” demanded Raven.

“The fuck?” managed Jujubee, yanking his wrist out of Raven’s grip, “Why are you pulling me out of the end of the line like some girl who’s the first to die in a horror movie?”

Raven ignored his question and asked another, “What was that, yesterday?”

Jujubee took a moment before answering. This seemed to be developing in a way that wasn’t ideal. First of all, he was in the middle of filming. Second of all, Raven’s behaviour had impulsive, chaotic, bratty bitch written all over it.

“You’re acting crazy,” stated Jujubee.

“Cracker’s the most annoying one of the lot-”

“I’m not gonna dignify this bullshit with an answer-” replied Jujubee, making to head back between the halls into the hallway. Usually there’d be a camera person or somebody in this little alcove, but-

“No, wait,” said Raven, and his tone had changed. No longer whiny and entitled, but serious.

“What?” demanded Jujubee, turning back to him, irritated. Just when Jujubee was fed up with Raven’s bullshit, he would change his tune. And it worked every time. He should really just leave-

“If we’re going to do this then I don’t want you fucking around with anybody else like, here,” stated Raven, crossing his arms, expression serious.

“What do you mean, this?”

“You know what I mean, this, this thing that always happens between us.”

Jujubee straightened and gazed at Raven imperiously, “You’re the one who suggested I fuck around with Cracker in the first place, and now you’re jealous?”

Raven rolled his eyes.

“Because I remember yesterday,” continued Jujubee, “When you were all over everybody at the lunch break, glancing over your shoulder making sure I was noticing you. You were trying to make me jealous, or some nonsense?”

“Well, it obviously backfired…” said Raven, giving Jujubee a self-deprecating half-smile, “I just wanted to get you riled up. You know why.”

Ah, of course that had been Raven’s angle. To be behave badly, to make Jujubee jealous and riled up so that he’d want to punish him the next time they interacted. Oh, it had worked on All Stars One, that’s for sure, and even way back on Season Two. They’d both been exhausted, stressed out messes, but still, Raven had always wanted to play. They were repeating some very old patterns here, Jujubee couldn’t do anything but shake his head.

“Bitch, you could’ve just said that.”

“Well-”

“No, seriously,” said Jujubee, gesticulating with frustration at the ridiculousness of it all, “Why the fuck are we standing in this hole in the hall talking about it? We’ve been doing this on and off for years, just admit that you want it. You want me to get dominant and possessive over you, and I want to punish you and fuck you silly. It’s not that complicated!”

Raven paused for a moment. Then he nodded and shrugged, leaning back against the wall and looking at Jujubee with a lazy, inviting expression, “Yes ma'am, you’re right. That’s exactly what I want.”

A thrill went down Jujubee’s spine, cutting through his irritation. Here they were, right in the middle of filming, between some fucking movable walls, sliding back into this dynamic. It was so easy, every time. Fuck, he should really just go, but-

Instead of leaving like a sensible human, Jujubee stepped froward and traced his long red nails down the side of Raven’s face. Raven practically shivered under his touch. Jujubee traced his jaw and then caressed Raven’s neck. A little sweat under his fingers, some stubble just beginning to grow back in.

Jujubee dug his sharp nails into Raven’s throat. Raven flinched, and let out an absolutely shameless moan under his breath.

“You have to give me respect,” ordered Jujubee, standing straight, holding eye contact, gaze steady, “When we’re in the same room you don’t even so much as look at anyone else.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“When I’m around you’re mine. You’re my bitch.”

“Yes, daddy,” replied Raven, running his tongue over his teeth.

“That’s right.”

Jujubee tightened his grip for a split second and then stepped back with a laugh and the moment was broken. Raven blinked a couple times, and stepped forward, picking a speck of fluff off Jujubee’s wig.

“Right, okay,” said Raven, smoothing out Jujubee’s camo-lined cape on his shoulders and looking him over approvingly, “Mmm, you look sleek. I love doing this when you’re in drag.”

“Why do I put up with you?” asked Jujubee, raising an eyebrow.

Raven leaned forward and whispered into Jujubee’s ear, with a tickle of warm breath, “Because I’m the best you’ve ever had, Cracker doesn’t hold up and you know it.”

“He has a real nice ass, actually-”

“Ugh, stop it!” replied Raven, bratty demeanour returning as he pulled back. The pink marks from Jujubee’s nails were apparent on his neck, but Jujubee hadn’t pressed hard enough to actually hurt him, let alone break the skin. It was satisfying to see them there nonetheless. They had a tendency to leave marks on each other, both visible and invisible.

“Get over yourself.”

Raven whined in response, and then he laughed, “Fuck. It’s always like this, isn’t it? Who was it I was trying to make you jealous with last time around? Manila?”

Jujubee laughed and the nostalgia tugged at him, but he held off indulging in the memory. There had been many petty disagreements all those years ago, but they were either jokes or water under the bridge now. They’d have time to reminisce later, if it came up.

“Come up to my hotel room in a couple days.”

“I’d love that.”

A voice from the hallway, “Anybody got eyes on Jujubee?”

It must be a producer. Uh oh. Jujubee craned his neck, glancing into the hallway.

“Ah shit, sorry-” murmured Raven, finally seeming embarrassed.

“I’ve gotta get back out there now, before they notice us,” whispered Jujubee.

Raven gently pushed Jujubee’s arm, “Go. I’ll hide out for a minute.”

Jujubee slipped back out into the hallway and made himself known, and was hustled away by some stressed-out crew member. Raven stayed hidden, presumably until the hallway was empty, and Jujubee didn’t bother looking back. Instead he reflected on what they’d both just admitted to, and seemed to have established between them.

Later on Morgan wiped the floor with Cracker during the lip-sync, and somehow they both won (that would have to be made up later in the editing, considered Jujubee) and Mayhem was sent home. Jujubee would miss him. The queens were dropping like flies, but he fully intended to be the last one standing.

The special little arrangement he had with Raven on the side would only add to his fun.

#rpdr fanfiction #rujubee #jujubee #raven #miz cracker #smut #canon compliant #jealousy #nostalgia #dartmouth420 #tw dom/sub dynamics #tw mild daddy kink #tw mild choking #submission #on set fic #as5 #s2

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mdhwrites · 3 years

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Jumbled Thoughts: The Passive Character/The Passive Paradox

Oh no, I didn’t have anything to say last week! Oh, but it should be fine. I’m confident enough to not care. But maybe I’m just being nice and not saying anything. Which why should I do that!? It’s not like I can’t speak up for myself! Now might not be the best time though. Maybe next time? Oh, if only I had any consistency! Evil grin. Let’s talk, shall we?

So, for now, we won’t talk about the Paradox aspect of this. We need to first clarify what the archtype is, which in and of itself is paradoxical. After all, when you think about a passive character, people like Hinata or Fluttershy. Shy characters who are willing to listen and stay quiet and allow others to do things around them without input. They act, theoretically, passively. That’s the crux of the problem. Being shy is an archtype with being passive being a trait within that that is directly tied to their character because being shy often means being quiet.

A passive character is only this singular trait but in a macro sense. A passive character is not, in fact, a character, but a writing tool. The most common version I see is one that is CLOSE to a shy character. One who is kind and gentle enough that when they give into other’s demands it seems like it’s just part of that social awkwardness and fear. But then, they’ll be more than happy, even happy, to go to social events and large crowds because they think it’ll be fun, but only if other main characters want to join in. They’ll say things don’t bother them and that they’d rather avoid conflict but are ALWAYS ready for it and seem to be able to have their fight switch flipped at any second unless that day they’re feeling extra serene. They are happy, kind, caring, and completely likable.

But fuck you if you want to pin down an actual character in that mess. After all, what mask do you use? Do you use their happy, cheerful mask? Their shy, quiet mask? Their angry mask? And I call these masks because they’re face value. They aren’t character depth, like a shy girl’s anger (though that is a topic for another day because I am getting fucking tired of that trope), but instead just roles they slip into for when it’s convenient. They’re a plot device that can talk to. Without a properly defined character, the audience has a lot harder of a time ever saying they’re ‘out of character’ while they do anything that helps move the plot along or develops other characters.

But they do do things which is part of the paradox. How much their actions define their character rather than feeding off of, or benefiting, others is a lot of how to figure out what they’re like. These characters’ actions more often define either the situation or other characters. Need to have a character revelation? Include another main character while making it about one of those basic traits the audience knows about and you don’t need to do anything with the passive character to expand on this but instead a door opens for this other character. Need someone to make a heroic action that means nothing? Sure looks good for the passive character to do it if you can’t justify anyone else doing it. But the second that it would be better for them to stay quiet or step back, they do it without a second thought. They meld into the background, waiting for the next time they’re needed outside of maybe a token representative of their one interest so they aren’t literally just a part of the wallpaper.

And... you’ll like them for these things. That’s the bigger part of the Paradox. Passive characters are LIKABLE. Everything they do is meant to be inoffensive but also interesting enough that as a kickoff for other things, you at bare minimum don’t mind it. You don’t question it. That’s part of why these characters emulate shy characters so much. They can borrow all that relatable awkwardness with not having that infuriating problem of not acting when it is genuinely important because that would make them less likable and make them less useful. The fact that they’ll easily fit as a catalyst for other character’s growth that can’t be done through friends shouting at each other or tragedy will make you see them as a crucial element of the party and the good feelings you have towards that other main character rubs off on them for being so useful in helping define their character.

It’s also why this is a MACRO talk. In a micro sense, if done well, you wouldn’t notice this. If done poorly, they’ll slide into something less likable like a walking exposition dump or someone who exists purely to be kidnapped without a personality attached to them. However, what happens if you want to do a character piece on them? Do something that is focused on them? Where you actually have to define their character in order to have a story happen? Well... you can’t. Not without losing the tool.

This is also the best litmus test as a writer to double check if one of your characters is slipping into this. Of course, it’s actually better to have people outside of yourself do this because you may be able to figure out something because you have novels, seasons, etc. of development for them in your mind and just haven’t gotten that on the page. Well, what can someone who doesn’t have that do with them. And another caveat is that having them as just the main character isn’t enough. These stories should include other main characters as little as possible. Any interaction with other characters should purely reflect on the character in question’s personality and how they deal with things. If it’s a buddy episode where the angry person takes out the passive character and, oh, this time they simply pushed their friend too hard and so they learn that they should respect other people’s boundaries isn’t about the passive character, it’s about the angry one.

Which, for most people, won’t be hard. Archtypes exist and so long as they can identify some real part of them to one of those, you should be able to make a short story for them without contradiction. Your smart guy? Nuerotic breakdown as they overthink a problem and have comedic failures as their desperation grows larger and larger until at the end another character shows up and points out they forgot the most basic part of it and the smart character finishes their project. This other character doesn’t even need to be another main character but anyone who will let the smart character be reminded to start with the simple instead of assuming that their intelligence would never fail them in such a dumb way.

Angry character? An episode all about them going through the aggravations of normal life where we get to see them deal with situations they can’t just punch or scream at which ends with them showing why they’re so explosive with their friends because that’s there one real chance to let out all of those things that bother them and how much they trust the other characters to be understanding that that’s just who they are.

Shy character? A PROPERLY shy character? Send them to market. Flea market, farmer’s market, etc. and WITHOUT prompting from someone else. Have them notice that they need or want something and thus have to go out. Then we get a chance to see how this character who is normally so afraid and seems like they’d have a panic attack the second they left their house alone functions from day to day. But don’t have them just talk to people. What tricks do they have to get transactions over with as fast as possible? How do they avoid the really big crowds? What calming techniques do they have for when they are stranded and in over their heads? How as a person do they function?

Meanwhile, the passive character goes to market, goes to the stall they want, pays for the item they want, and then leaves. They roll their eyes at everyday nuisances like some normal person and gets to where they’re going without a problem because it’s not important enough to act upon, either to themselves or the plot. They also don’t obsess enough to miss little things, or get truly upset at failure. You can theoretically try to get a passive character into any of those three situations, as they’re usually knowledgeable enough to be able to help the smart character in the group but not so smart as to not be explained at too, but because they aren’t defined enough in any of these things being so crucial to them that they won’t fit without someone else pushing them hard enough to make them act. Without that outside catalyst, you will actually manage to make them feel either out of character or redundant because you could have done the concept better with someone who is actually that sort of character.

And as a quick note: These examples I gave would of course be commonly overblown and exaggerated but they have a basis in real world issues and questions that actual people with these traits have to face. How do you handle errands when being around others gives you anxiety? When you have anger issues, how do you deal with it and how do you release it? When you think you know everything, how could you forget to make sure your computer was plugged in? These are relatable issues that will ring especially hard with people like them, even if taken to an extreme.

So, the end takeaway? Don’t fear using archtypes and make sure you give characters definition. Don’t make characters who serve only other characters. I know these are basic things that feel like they shouldn’t need to be mentioned but, well, did you make sure your computer is turned on?

Anyways, what do you think of the concept? Think I’m blowing up to something that isn’t a real problem? And what passive characters can you think of? I didn’t use an example this time because it felt like too much like simply a character dissection but the one who brought this to my attention was Willow Park of The Owl House, who has an episode literally titled “Understanding Willow” where we learn nothing truly new about them and it only really serves to help another character’s development and redemption arc. I am not even kidding. But, until next time, I hope you all have a wonderful day and farewell.

#Writing #Writing analysis

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