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bradshawssugarbaby · 10 months

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Take Me Home Tonight - Harrison Knott x Reader

A/N: Inspired by Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money

pairing: Harrison Knott (Press Play) x reader

warnings/content: fem reader, oral (f receiving), p in v, swearing, one night stand, drinking

word count: 3.2k

A dimly lit college dive bar was not the ideal space to meet anyone, but as you found yourself leaning against the bar top, looking around the space as you nursed a vodka-cran that was slowly becoming room temperature slowly but surely. You contemplated leaving and going home at this point, realizing that your date likely wasn’t going to show. Just as you thought about setting the now slightly-colder-than-the-bar glass down on the counter behind you and walking out to hail a cab home, a tall, broad shouldered man with brown hair and naturally sun-kissed highlights, a slight tan, and the deepest blue eyes you’d ever seen on any person before sauntered up alongside you to the bar. He leaned against the bar, giving you a polite smile as he orders himself a drink. Beer in hand, he straightens his posture and looks at you again, offering a this time, much friendlier, intentional smile.

“Hi, I’m Harrison,” He nodded his head as he offered his free hand out for you to shake.

“Hi,” You returned the same friendly smile as you sipped your drink, exchanging names and small talk as you both sat at the bar.

You’d been stood up by a date, and Harrison had been supposed to meet his friends from medical school after writing an exam, but he was almost certain he’d ended up in the wrong bar somehow. Both here alone by mistake, or by fate, neither of you had bothered leaving when you realized that you wouldn’t be spending the night with the people you’d originally intended to. You finished the drink in your hand while conversing with Harrison, not even registering the fact that the bittersweet, tart red-coloured liquid was likely now warmer than the air around you. You set the glass down with a thankful smile to the bartender before turning your attention back to the man who had replaced your date.

“Can I get you another drink?” He flashed you another smile as he gestured to the empty glass.

“Yeah, thank you,” You nodded appreciatively as you spoke, “I’ll have a Long Island Iced Tea, please.”

“Actually, that sounds good,” Harrison laughs as he finishes the contents of his amber-coloured glass bottle before setting it down, “Two Long Island Iced Teas it is.”

Fresh drinks now in hand, the two of you made your way across the bar to one of the few booths against the wall. The college dive bar floor’s trademark stickiness against your shoes created a slight squeaking sound as you walked across it, every step leaving the bottom of your heeled boots with a tacky coating to them. You studied Harrison’s features as best as you could in the dim lowlights of the bar, taking account of everything you could about your impromptu date, committing it to memory in case you should ever cross paths with him again.

You and Harrison sat across from one another in the booth, the dark glow of the lights less harsh from your secluded corner of the room. You listened as he divulged his life story to you, you nodding your head or sympathetically smiling and chiming in as needed. He was from Hawaii, his dad was a doctor, and there was always pressure for him to follow in his footsteps. He’d deferred hie med school attendance for a couple years after university before being waitlisted for George Washington, and when he got in, he moved to the opposite side of the country with no contacts to speak of in D.C. other than an old college friend of his dad’s in the area somewhere.

He told you how he preferred to buy physical copies of music, vinyl records, cassette tapes, CDs, whatever he could get his hands on at a secondhand store over streaming services. He told you how he missed surfing and the warm saltwater beaches from back home, how his stepsister had gotten married recently and he hadn’t made his way back home since. He told you how his stepsister always insisted he was lonely and needed to meet someone, but how he had always been more occupied with work back home at the music store he’d been at, and surfing and studying. He’d never really made the time for anything else.

You told him how you’d moved to D.C. from your small hometown on the east coast a couple of years ago for a college internship, and how you’d fallen in love with the city and opted to stay. You’d told him how you made D.C. your home, how you thought the city looked beautiful covered in a dusting of snow during the holiday season (to which he agreed, despite the fact he still wasn’t accustomed to seeing snow that often yet. You’d told him how you loved football and hockey, catching live games as often as you could, how you’d recently gotten into baseball and tried following it but weren’t succeeding yet, how you’d always wanted to go on a date to the Smithsonian Institute of American History, since it was your favorite place in the city, how you loved going just to look at the pop culture section of the museum.

“Shit, is it really midnight already?” He laughed softly as he checked his watch, offering you a soft, hopeful smile as he looked up at you, “Do you want me to walk you home when you’re ready?”

There was something in his words, a sense of genuine concern about you making it home safely, a genuine desire to be the one to accompany you to make sure you returned in one piece. It made your heart flutter, and you had no idea why, In fact, something about Harrison in general made your heart flutter. His charming, sweet smile, his haunting deep blue eyes, his deep, yet soft-spoken voice, maybe it wasn’t something, maybe it was everything about him.

“I’d like that, actually. Thanks.”

Harrison smiled and stood up from the booth, grabbing his coat and pulling it on over his broad shoulders as he followed you out of the building. He walked alongside you, hands in his pockets as you took the 10 block journey home. On your doorstep, Harrison smiled at you under the dim porch light, its yellowish hue cascading over the two of you, highlighting all of his features like a spotlight. His gaze lingered on your lips for a few moments, and you couldn’t help but bite at your bottom lip, both anxiously, and sensually. Something about Harrison was driving you wild, and you couldn’t figure out why, but as you leaned in, lips pressing against his in a soft, passionate kiss, you felt completely entranced by him, totally captivated and full of a sense of lust and longing, craving more of him.

“Harrison, I’m sorry,” You began as your lips hovered just mere milimeters over his.

“Don’t be,” Harrison’s voice was hushed as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, “I want to do it again.”

With that, Harrison’s lips collided with yours again, this time in a much more deeply passionate kiss, one that could knock the wind right out of you as he pressed your body against the door of your house. You reached your one hand behind you, your fingers searching the door blindly for the door handle to let you both inside the house. The door opened with a click as you turned the handle, and stumbling backwards a step as you entered, you refused to allow your lips to part from Harrison’s for the time being.

Harrison pulled back for a breath, his lips now kiss bitten and puffy after the passionate embrace. You offered him a smirk as you grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in your hands, tugging gently on the soft material as you pulled him in for another kiss. You led him up the stairs to your bedroom and nodded as you pulled away again, raising your eyebrow at him as you awaited confirmation from him to continue. Rather than give a verbal response, Harrison reached his hand around to the back of your head, tangling his thick fingers in your hair as he pulled you in for another kiss. You felt your hips press against his, the feeling of his tightening jeans prominent as your leg brushed against them.

Your hand reached down between the two of you, quickly working to unbutton Harrison’s jeans, trying to free him quickly from the fabric as they became uncomfortably tight on him. Harrison let out a soft sigh of relief as he kicked his jeans off, pressing his lips to yours once again in a fervent, hungry kiss. He backed you against the wall, his hands running down your sides as he caressed your body. His firm, strong hands lifted you up, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist. You did so tightly, holding on to him for dear life as you felt him press your back against the wall harder. Your neck tilted to the side as he trailed his lips down your jawline and up to your ear.

“Do you want me to do this?” Harrison’s voice was deep and rich, as smooth as melted chocolate as he spoke.

“Mhmm,” You hummed out as his hand made its way down the front of your body, his fingers slipping under your skirt, blindly trying to find your underwear as your body pressed against his. His fingers slipped underneath the soft, dampened fabric of your panties, groaning slightly as you felt the pads of his fingertips making contact with your wet slit. Harrison’s lips curled upwards into a grin, his eyes locked on your face as he watched for your reaction to his touch.

“You’re really into this, aren’t you?”

Harrison smirked as he felt your arousal gather on his fingertips. His deep blue eyes watched your features with an intensity and hunger you’ve never seen on anyone before. Harrison looked like a man on a mission suddenly, as if seeing you like this, feeling your arousal that he undoubtedly caused, made him determined to bring you to your breaking point by any means necessary. Not that you thought he’d need to do much. His touch combined with the look of intense passion and determination in his eyes was almost enough to bring you there. Your hand tangled in Harrison’s short wavy lengths, pulling his face in closer to you for a kiss. Your tongue traced his lower lip, and as you slipped it into his mouth, you felt his finger repeat your action below your waistline. As he slipped his finger into your core, you let out a soft moan into his mouth, causing Harrison to groan softly against your lips.

Harrison’s lips made their way down the curvature of your neck, a trail of warm open-mouthed kisses and licks of his tongue leading from your mouth down to your collarbone as he pushed a second finger into your opening. He curled his fingers upwards towards the soft, spongey wall of your core before beginning to pump them in and out, ensuring contact to the spot you desired most with every upward thrust of his hand. You found yourself panting and moaning his name as you felt his hand at work, unable to concentrate your mind on anything else. As you felt yourself becoming close to your climax, you felt Harrison’s hot breath on your ear, his voice in a deep, lulling whisper as he spoke to you.

“You’re so wet for my touch right now. Do you want me to keep going, pretty girl? Want me to make you cum on my fingers?”

You nodded your head, taking in a sharp inhale as you felt his fingers continuing to work their magic on you. His touch was unlike anything you’d ever experienced with a previous partner - Harrison was attentive, caring, and determinedly passionate - like he was making it his life goal to make you orgasm as many times as he could, and that he wanted to ensure that no part of your time together could be classed as a mediocre hookup with some med student you met in a bar. Harrison was treating you like he didn’t want to be forgotten. Like he wanted to be the best you’d ever had, and so far, he was succeeding at his mission.

As your body tightened and clenched around his fingers, your back arching slightly as you let out a whine of his name, followed by a slurry of swear words. You felt Harrison slow his hand down before gently pulling his fingers out of you. He grinned and stuck his fingers in his mouth, giving them a long, slow suck before pulling them out with a popping sound.

“Fuck,” he pants, nodding his head once as he tries to collect his thoughts, “You taste like fuckin’ heaven, beautiful.”

You can’t help but giggle as you feel his lips continue to leave sloppy, wet kisses on your collarbone as he wraps you tightly around his waist. He lays you out on the bed and grins as he kneels inbetween your legs, his mouth now making it’s way up and down the inside of your leg, lingering as he comes tantalizingly close to your centre. He gently pushes on your leg, spreading you slightly as he bites his lip. Staring at you for a moment, taking in the sight of you on display for him like this, you hear him let out an almost whimpering sound. Harrison quickly ducks his head down between your thighs, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your clit. Your breath hitched in your throat at the sudden contact, the feeling of his tongue lapping at your arousal between your thighs, the sounds of muffled moans and murmured “Fuck you taste so good”’s from Harrison sending you over the edge again.

Harrison pulled his mouth away, his chin glistening with a mixture of saliva, arousal and sweat from working himself to the point that he did. He took his t-shirt off over his head before using the fabric of it to wipe his mouth. A smirk formed on his features as he looked down at you with an eyebrow raised, his sapphire coloured eyes watching your face for any indication as to what you wanted next from him.

“Harrison,” you panted, nodding your head, “Need you inside me,” was all you managed to get out before he started hurriedly pulling his boxer briefs down, kicking them off behind him to the floor as he knelt up on the bed above you. Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of him, unable to focus your gaze on anything else. You had suspicions about his size when you took his jeans off for him earlier, but, this exceeded any suspicion or expectation you could have possibly made based off that earlier encounter.

Harrison nodded his head, grinning at you as he bit his lip. He reached down on the floor for his wallet and opened it hastily, grabbing a condom out of the fold. He carefully tore open the wrapper before rolling the latex material down over his hardened cock. Harrison smirked as he looked up at you, taking notice of your wide-eyed gaze upon his nude body. Your teeth sunk down into your bottom lip as you watched Harrison stroking himself. He held his hand out below your mouth and laughed softly, his cheeks flushing red as he spoke.

“You ok?” Harrison’s words were followed by an awkward chuckle, trying to fill the silence that hung in the air as your eyes remained widened and fixated on him.

“Mhmm, great,” You nodded, “Fantastic, even.”.

“Tell me if it’s too much for you, ok?” Harrison’s voice was hushed, just above a whisper as he spoke.

You hummed in response as you nodded again, biting your lip hard in anticipation, a metallic taste entering your mouth as you bit a little too hard. You took in a deep breath as you felt Harrison’s hips slowly thrust into yours, and as you felt yourself tighten around him, your muscles tensing and squeezing as he paused to let you adjust to his size, you felt yourself cry out in pleasure. Harrison was patient and caring, waiting for you to give him a signal to continue before as much as shifting his position. Your eyes met his with a look of passion and lust, giving him all the encouragement he needed to continue. His body hovered over yours, allowing him to see your every facial expression. He ducked his head down to nestle it in the crook of your neck, his lips planting soft, wet, sensual kisses to your skin with every thrust.

“So tight for me, beautiful, you feel so fucking good,” He purred against the skin of your neck.

You whimpered as you felt him gently nip at your neck, each thrust of his hips bringing you closer and closer to the edge. His voice had a sudden huskiness to it as he spoke, soft, masculine grunts falling from his lips against your neck with every movement of his hips. You reached your hands upwards, gripping his shoulders tightly as he thrusted, your nails digging into his smooth, tanned skin as you felt him hit your core each time. Harrison’s piercing blue eyes looked up at you every so often, as if checking your face for any signs of discomfort, any sign you may not be enjoying it. With every look at you, you’d returned it with a slight nod or a moan of his name to encourage him not to stop.

“Thatta girl, babe,” He grunted, his breath hot on your neck as he spoke, “I’m not gonna last much longer, you feel so good.”

You felt his hand snake its way down your body, his fingers moving quickly to find your clit once again. He traced his fingertips over it as he thrusted into you, your back arching at his touch. You felt your orgasm bubbling over, your head throwing back as you gasped out his name, followed by a flurry of swear words. Harrison let out a loud, deep groan as he reached his own climactic high, your name falling from his lips before he kissed at your neck again, his hips slowing as the two of you rode your climaxes together.

Harrison lifted his head up as he slowly pulled himself out of you. Breathlessly, he laid down beside you, his large hand reaching up to smooth back his now dampened curls, wiping the sweat from his brow. His cheeks were flushed as he turned to face you, his deep sapphire blue eyes fixated on your features as he caught his breath. He turned back up to face the ceiling before letting out a laugh.

“I don’t think I’ve ever gone that hard on the first night, at least…not without taking the girl out for dinner first,” He smirked as he looked back at you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as his gaze met yours again.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had it that good on the first night before, with or without dinner,” You retorted as you turned onto your side to face him.

“Well, let’s add dinner to the mix for the second time and see if it’s an improvement?” Harrison grinned as he tucked a lock of your hair back behind your ear.

#harrison knott #harrison knott x reader #harrison knott imagine #press play #press play x reader #press play imagine

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tickfleato · 2 years

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oh yeah also! managed to get a drop in appointment w/ a counselor for college planning, got that figured out, and also got the weird registration error i was getting figured out. With no small effort cos holy shit

so there’s this class i was trying to register for on the website, right? and i click the thing, and it’s like, this class is full, you gotta go on the waitlist. so i’m like. Ok. and i add myself to the waitlist. and then when i try to confirm it says something like “you can’t register.” like something really vague

so when i went to the in person thing, one of the ppl there offered to help me with registration (the counselor i talked to said that’s not her area) so i’m like great, they can explain the error. and so i log in, i try to register, show her the thing and she’s like. Oh i have no idea what this means, you’ll have to go to the registration office (she was also v nice about it and walked me there)

so i do all this over again with the guy there, and finally, he says that it’s an issue with my covid pass thing, and i need to send in a picture of my vaccination card. Great! Mystery Solved!!

what i wanna know is WHY DOESNT THE ERROR MESSAGE SAY THAT IS THE PROBLEM????

anyway. in a few days i should be able to actually sign up for shit YAY

#tick biz

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ihopeucomehomesoon · 3 years

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my to do list is so long bc i fell behind in lectures for two of my classes

#4 lecs for microbio and 5 lecs for etx #and i have to read through another chapter of the textbook for microbio bc my prof gives us prelec quizzes 3x a week #haven’t been going to class bc i’ve been reading the textbook anyway and thinking i’m fine but i’ll try watching the recordings from the #past week just in case #the etx class i’m not so worried abt bc i can prob 2x speed all the lecs + read the slides #also my lab class has a quiz tuesday so i have to review + prep for that #i was worried all last week bc i’ve been going to the morning labs but it turns out i might just be placed in the evening lab bc that’s #the one i’m actually registered / waitlisted for #sucks bc i woke up early and biked to campus to try for the morning lab #but the evening one could be good too bc i’ll have the entire day to do other things beforehand and prep if i need to #i thought senior year would be better but it’s already looking a little 🙄😕 bc im tryna adjust to being back in person

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sombreboy · 4 years

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Mused obsession (2)

Written by @sombreboy as Jungkook & @chimoona as Jimin Banner by @carly-bean-blog

[ masterlist ]

⇢Explicit (18+) ⇢Pairing: Jungkook & Jimin ⇢Genre: yandere, smut, mxm ⇢Word count: 5.4k ⇢Ch.warnings: Alcohol consumption, profanity, jealous jk, so much sexual tension, bending the overwatch rules for the sake of the story don’t come at me lmao, also this is the last chapter without any filth so buckle up honey

Industry famous Jeon Jungkook of GJK photography takes an interest in a model and up-and-coming fashion designer, Park Jimin. After an opportunity to study the man behind his trusty lens, he thinks he may have just found his new muse.

Jimin’s mind kept wandering to the young artist even when he was bustling backstage. He delegates tasks to a couple crew members and walks over to a standing mirror to check his appearance. He’s ethereal, dressed in a soft white shirt, wrapping high around his neck and tied with a loose bow. On top of that is a fitted jacket with large black lapels, covered entirely in dark gold accents. He wanted to be seen, and this would definitely do the trick. His guests haven’t even arrived and he’s already getting looks from the backstage crew and hired models. He adjusts his tight pants to hug comfortably, drawing just the right amount of attention to his toned legs and small waist.

“Park, it’s time.” His stage manager approaches with a waitlist in-hand. “Follow me to the entryway. It’s time to greet our guests.”

Guests trail in one by one, or in groups, filling up the venue. However, Jungkook is still on his way, in no rush. He hates to be in the middle of a cramped crowd. Although he knows he would most likely be allowed to pass through the line, he prefers to simply arrive a little later than everybody else. It gives him a grand entrance, in some type of way — always drawing the eyes of people, shocked that he actually would show up. He knows the game.

“We’ve arrived, Jeon.” The chauffeur announces as they park in front of the building. Jungkook’s slick black car is turning the heads of those curious to see who would show up late. With his type of car, surely it’s somebody of importance. Jungkook wonders if Jimin is anxious to see him, or maybe even a tad bit worried about whether he would show up or not.

Inside, Jimin floats from person to person as they arrive, thanking them for coming and receiving compliments in return. He was right about his choice in clothing as he began to attract a lot of attention, especially from his agency mate Taehyung.

Tae is best known for his work in accessory modelling, using his smooth hands, tapered wrists and long neck to his advantage. His physical assets are a prized commodity when displaying very luxe pieces of jewellery. His ads often display on Cartier and Rolex storefronts, in case you didn’t know. Like he’d ever let you forget. Being managed by the same company often meant Tae got the chance to work alongside Jimin, always taking the opportunity to shamelessly flirt.

“You should have asked me to model for you, Jimin.” He places his hand on the small of Jimin’s back and toys with the sequins there. He leans close to Jimin’s ear and breathes gently, tickling his cuff—“You know I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Jimin clears his throat, trying to maintain his composure. “I’ll keep that in mind, Tae. Thank you for offering.” Taehyung cracks a sly smile and begins to walk away, turning to look over his shoulder, making sure Jimin watches. “Congratulations on the collection, by the way. Can’t wait to see how Jeon pulled off the promo shots.”

Jimin smiles back and nods as Tae leaves to greet their manager, then releases a sigh and looks around the room for Jungkook, wondering if he’d ever show up.

Jungkook steps out of the car as his chauffeur holds the door open, then heads towards the venue’s front door and is immediately allowed to pass by the small queue waiting to enter. Perks of being a celebrity, supposedly. As expected, he’s greeted with smiles, almost flocked by other celebrities trying to make a connection — mostly for business, others for personal reasons. He doesn’t smile, however. He simply excuses himself as he moves further, eyes searching for the one blonde he came for in the first place. Unsuccessful in his mission, he opts for alcohol, heading towards the bar area to lean against the counter. He orders a large pint of beer, never truly understanding those able to drink whiskey. As he chugs down a few gulps, his eyes finally spot the man he was looking for. Only question is... who’s that whispering in his ear?

Jungkook’s eyes spark in recognition when the mystery man pulls away to leave. Ah, Kim Taehyung. Another model that has been up his ass for quite a while to have his photo taken. Well, he just blew his chance on that one... The younger remains at his spot, halfway done with his drink and eyes fixated on the blonde. He’s fascinated by his effortless beauty, simply socializing with others. He quickly remembers he brought a small camera, just as high quality as his larger ones, but much more subtle for places like this. He places the beer back on the counter before aiming his camera at Jimin, snapping a few secret shots.

Absolutely angelic.

Jimin taps his foot to the music, leaning against the bar at the back of the room while he waits for his cocktail to arrive. He has no shame in ordering a cosmopolitan, loving the blushed pink color and sweet taste. He was craving something sweet after his photo shoot yesterday—banana milk still ripe on his tongue. He finds himself wondering if he should order something for Jungkook, pleading to make the impression of a courteous host, but decides he’d rather wait to see the man first. Drink in hand, he sways his hips to the music, combing through the crowd, shaking hands and kissing other fellow agency members on the cheek as he brushes past them. Now on his second cosmo, he’s feeling loose and a little impatient. His lips curl delicately around the rim of the glass to sip down the last of the pink liquid. He thumbs a stray droplet from his bottom lip and decides it’s time to head backstage and check in.

Jungkook keeps his eyes fixed on the elder the entire time, enjoying the opportunity to observe how Jimin acts when he isn’t aware of the younger's eyes. A cosmopolitan, huh? Jimin would order such a drink. Kook wants to taste for himself — having never tried one before. He normally goes for beer, which he finishes off and sets down on the counter with a clonk. He’s still watching Jimin, the social butterfly that he is. A beautiful, gorgeous butterfly...the way his plush lips curl around the rim of the glass — mesmerizing. What’s even more devastating is the subtle swipe of his thumb across his lower lip.

“Park Jimin, you are dangerous...” Jungkook mutters to himself as his cautious eyes follow the man. He glances down at his watch, knowing it was almost showtime. He decides to announce his presence beforehand, sauntering over, keeping his gaze on Jimin until he’s next to him. He gives his arm a light nudge with his own.

“Hey.”

It takes Jimin a couple seconds to register that the nudge was coming from Jungkook, then stops dead in his tracks by the man’s dark suit and styled hair. He can smell a woodsy musk coming from him, enchanting his senses. Jimin is so impressed by how well Jungkook has cleaned up that he can barely take his eyes off him.

“Hey, you,” Jimin smiles and wraps him in a friendly hug—perhaps a little too friendly given his liquid courage. “You look great,” he gushes and gives the man a light kiss on the cheek like he did with his friends — just a little longer than the rest. “Decided to finally show up, huh? Fashionably late—I get it.” The model teases, enjoying how wide Jungkook’s eyes get when he doesn’t treat him like a big-shot. “Let’s get you settled in, Jeon.” Jimin loops his arm into the younger’s and leads him to the bar to buy a new round of cosmos. “The show is about to begin. I saved you a seat at the front.”

Jungkook is no stranger to friendly kisses on the cheek from acquaintances, but this was the first time when coming from another man — that it made a shiver run down his spine. Jimin’s lips are soft, plushy, and feel like a kiss from an angel itself. It is, unfortunately, addicting . A part of him can’t help but wonder how they’d feel on his own lips... Jungkook shrugs off his continuous thoughts; there are more important things to think about than kissing the man holding him close... right? He lets the smaller man guide him towards the bar, eyes immediately falling on the sweet drink and licking his lips at the sight. It looks delicious, so he decides to get one as well, then picks it up and tilts his head back, tasting it with a larger gulp than one normally would . T he sweetness coats his tongue and leaves a small layer of liquid on his lower lip.

“I’m technically not late...the show hasn't started yet.” He smiles, the mix of beer and cosmo slowly hitting his system. Kook glances up at Jimin. “Shall we go, then?”

Arm in arm, Jimin guides Jungkook towards the runway. He holds him close to navigate through the dense crowd. Heads turn as the two of them enter the room, some trying their best to network with the photographer as he passes by. “You’re getting more attention than me,” Jimin comments over the sound of bustling gossip. “If I was smart I would have offered to dress you in a suit from my collection. You’d fit right in with the models.”

“That would have been a smart choice,” Jungkook jokes, eyes continuously falling back to where Jimin holds his bicep close, and where their bodies pressed together. He barely notices the passing words of others and they completely go over his head. His focus is solely on Jimin’s sweet tone, trying to keep his eyes up to look around. He isn’t usually comfortable in crowded areas, so he’s grateful to the model for keeping him grounded. “Maybe I would’ve accepted.”

“Then it’s settled,” Jimin says with a squeeze to his arm, noting how the tall handsome man melts into his touch. “And it’s not going to be just any suit, obviously. It has to be custom .” He leads Jungkook close to the stage and takes a seat next to him, keeping his body close for comfort in the hectic bustle of celebrities. “Think of it as a tip for your hard work these past few days,” he adds.

...Or an excuse to run his hands over more of the photographer’s toned body as he takes measurements. Either way, it would give him another opportunity to have the man alone.

“I wouldn’t expect anything but custom,” Jungkook scrunches his nose as he smiles, joking on his own expense. “That, or I wouldn’t be Jeon Jungkook.” He slumps down on the chair as Jimin follows to take a seat next to him. Their sides are still pressed together tightly — not that the younger has anything against it. Rather the opposite. He enjoys the close proximity. His gaze continously steals glances at the elders flawless profile. He knew he was admiring the man already, but up close...it’s next level. Jungkook’s eyes travel down the soft slope of Jimin’s nose until they land on the plush, tinted lips that are blessed with a natural pout. ...it should be illegal.

Jimin may not have noticed Jungkook’s covert photos earlier, but he’s not blind to the man’s roaming stare as it fixates on every facet of his face. Jimin sneaks a few glances for himself, or rather, unabashedly eye-fucks him. Everything about the guy is alluring—the long dark hair, the sharp jawline and slightly exposed chest under his low-cut black shirt. Jimin almost salivates at the thought of claiming his mouth in front of all these strangers. It must be the third cosmo in his system. He’s feeling loose and uninhibited, even more now that he knows his interests aren’t misplaced. If Jungkook keeps staring, Jimin might have to fast-track that personal fitting.

The lights dim to indicate that the show was about to begin.

“Excuse me,” Jimin leans close to whisper, purposefully pressing his glossy pout against Jungkook’s ear, anxious to see how it affects him, “I’ve got a speech to give.” He then stands and gracefully floats to stage to find his footing in front of the microphone.

Jungkook forces himself to tightly swallow down the groan threatening to escape his lips when he feels Jimin’s breath fan over his ear. The scent of alcohol mixed with the elders sweet perfume is intoxicating. One turn of his head and his lips could’ve been on Jimin’s. The thought was awfully tempting, but before he was able to react in any way, the blonde withdrew himself to stride towards the stage. Jimin’s ring-clad fingers delicately wrap around the microphone stand, and the younger straightens his posture — gaze still fixed on the gorgeous angel before him. He reaches down his pocket, fingers gripping around his camera. He really wants to capture the moment.

“I thank each and every one of you for attending, what I hope to be, the very beginning of a successful launch.”

Cameras flash from the crowd—a few media sources, fashion bloggers and excited industry mates document the moment. Jimin gulps down a small wave of nerves and continues on. He’s a professional. He can do this.

“My team and I are excited to share a first look at the ‘Be Your Light’ collection, created to evoke confidence and empower those who wear it to show their true selves.” He clasps his hands together in thanks and gives a small bow to the crowd. “Enjoy the show and please look forward to more in the coming weeks...” He looks over to Jungkook, as if speaking directly to the man as he delivers his finishing statement — “...there’s much more yet to come.”

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to lift his own camera along with everybody else, snapping a few closeup shots of this big moment. It’s huge, and Kook can’t help but smile with pride. He’s gonna go so far, especially with his assistance. As soon as their eyes meet, Jungkook lowers his camera to truly see Jimin as he finishes on stage. His heart flutters — excitement evident as he flashes the gorgeous angel a toothy grin followed with a nod of approval. There surely is much more to come. And, hopefully, more projects together.

Jimin can’t wipe the smile from his face. The applause of the room carries on as he walks back to his seat. But barely there, he’s tugged to the side by a familiar pair of smooth hands.

“Loved the speech,” Taehyung slurs, urging the model to sit beside him instead. The scent of dark rum is heavy on his breath. He was never very good at staying composed during events like this. Deep bass thunders from the rafters as the first model hits the runway.

“Thanks Tae, but I’ve got to—“ Jimin is silenced by the man as he grips his face and tries to kiss him roughly, missing by an inch.

“You’re such a TEASE tonight,” Tae snarls. “Come home with me.”

His proposition is blunt as per usual. Jimin politely shakes his head and smiles as if nothing happened, trying to reduce the amount of attention they’re already drawing. To his relief, their manager intervenes and coaxes Tae to sit back in his seat, allowing Jimin enough time to slip back to his rightful spot beside Jungkook.

Jungkook saw everything. Watching Taehyung attempt to kiss Jimin was probably one of the most frustrating feelings he had ever felt. That’s when he knew he didn’t want anybody else to have a chance with the blonde. It also meant...Jungkook really has an interest in the man. It’s obvious, but he wouldn’t acknowledge it — not until he saw Jimin almost kiss somebody who wasn’t him. The very moment Jimin sat down next to him, his tongue continuously prodded the inside of his cheek in annoyance. One arm quickly wraps around the elders shoulders, pulling him closer to talk to through the loud music. “What the hell was that?”

“Nothing,” Jimin mumbles, crossing his legs. He and Tae have unfinished business but his fashion show is far from the appropriate venue to address it. In the past, Tae’s everlasting propositions would often bring him to his knees and he knew it well. Behind the curtain of a runway, to the filthy floor of a club bathroom. But that was the past. Jungkook probably doesn’t need to know that part, not when he’s already so annoyed. “He just had too much to drink,” Jimin clarifies, “it’s fine.”

Jungkook doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he scrunches his nose in annoyance. Maybe it’s due to the alcohol, but he presses Jimin closer to himself and fans his breath over the elders ear as he speaks. “You’re not required to stay any longer, right? You did your speech...”

Jimin leans his small body tight to Jungkook, needing to be closer as well, blood warming to his dominant aura. He still feels the white hot stares of neighbouring attendees after the little stunt Taehyung pulled. His stage manager is more than capable of handling the rest of the show, he’s sure of that. If he wants the attention back on the garments and the rest of the show to be a success, it’s best he slips out.

He keeps his voice low enough for only Jungkook to hear — “Get me out of here.”

The words roll off Jimin’s lips, and they’re more than enough for Jungkook to spring into action. A smirk curls on his lips as he stands up, grabbing the elders hand shamelessly.

“Let’s go, then.”

He tugs the blonde along, scuffing through the crowd. On the way out, his eyes meet Taehyung’s sharp gaze as it flickers between the two men hand in hand. Jungkook flashes him a shit eating grin, knowing Tae would simply have nothing to argue about, especially if he ever wants a slight chance to work with the photographer in the future.

He could forget about it, Kook muses to himself.

He leads Jimin to his car, already on cue to leave at Jungkook's say so. He holds the back door open for his company, letting him get seated before joining inside.

Jimin settles in close as the driver begins to take them away. He’s not sure where they’re going and doesn’t care to ask, content as long as it’s far from prying eyes. He slips his hand under Jungkook’s as he misses the feeling of skin on skin, then looks up at the younger with a small smile on his pouty lips. “Thank you,” he says, mentally musing over the many ways he’d like to show him his gratitude. The way Jungkook took command of that situation wrecks Jimin, to say the least. He can’t blink away the image of Jungkook’s jaw tightening, nose scrunching, or how hot his breath felt like fire against his neck as he asked about Taehyung.

Jungkook shrugs lightly, a small smile on his lips at the simple words of gratitude. It’s cute, the way Jimin suddenly seems to shrink beside him when they’re alone. Apparently an audience makes him cocky, but the one-on-one moments together make him look almost... innocent . The duality is exactly why Jungkook feels such a strong pull towards him. The car slowly pulls through a large gated area, turning into a driveway next to a grand mansion. Kook doesn’t wait for the chauffeur to open the door and simply does so himself without a word, waiting for the elder to follow. He hasn’t bothered asking Jimin if he wants to go with him to his home. Then again, Jungkook often does whatever he pleases.

Jimin follows him obediently, noting that perhaps chivalry isn’t dead. He hasn’t had a man open a door for him unless he was paid or obligated to do so. He nods in thanks and marvels at the house he’s about to step into. Just from the outside, it’s beautiful and meticulously landscaped.

“Is this all yours?” Jimin asks, mouth slightly parted in awe. He’s considered himself to be well off for his age, but the younger man takes it to the next level.

Jungkook cranes his neck to observe his house, giving a light nod before he strolls towards the grand front door, fumbling in his pockets to fish out the keys. “All mine.” His lips twitch in a smile, glancing over the shoulder at the blonde. Kook remembers buying his house — the excitement back then was comparable to that of a child on christmas. However, with time, material things grew worthless. In a sense, he’s used to it all, but seeing Jimin’s admiration sparks a pride — an appreciation for his own wealth, perhaps. “Wanna come inside?” he asks cheekily, as if that wasn’t already the plan.

Jimin nods again and follows him in. It isn’t normal by any stretch to have as much self-built notoriety and materialistic gain before the age of 30... or any age, really. It makes him even more curious to know the young photographer. It’s not the fame or fortune that draws him in; it’s the reminder that Jeon Jungkook, GJK-branded icon, photographer to the stars, is also the milk-sipping boy with manners and a childlike glimmer in his eye. What a conundrum, Jimin thinks. His eyes flick to Jungkook’s ass as he walks through the grand doors, noting for the first time just how toned it is. A very...alluring conundrum.

Tonight may be the night he discovers even more about the semi-mysterious younger man. He’s almost jittery with anticipation, wondering what he has in store for their evening together.

The doors automatically close behind them — the loud click of the lock echoes in the hallway as Jungkook slowly saunters towards the open space of the living room, gesturing towards the couch to offer Jimin a seat. Kook paces through the room to reach the open kitchen, stepping behind the only thing separating the two rooms — a large marbled counter, which frames the space deemed a kitchen. He opens the fridge and scans his various beverages with a hum.

Yes, he has a fridge solemnly dedicated to drinks...

“Want something to drink? I have alcohol, soda, energy drinks...even bananamilk. You liked that, right?” Kook’s oddball mind almost craves to mix alcohol with his favorite sweet drink. It could be the best of both worlds, as a kids show once told him.

Already three cosmos into the night, Jimin decides to stray from the sweet side of the flavor spectrum, at least until he’s a little more drunk.

“I did like the banana milk...” he’s almost tempted to take him up on the offer just knowing how pleased Jungkook would be by the decision, but no, he needs something that will make him a little more... uninhibited . He taps his fingers against his chin in thought, taking a seat on the big couch. “I’ll take a glass of wine. Red, if you have it.”

Jungkook hums as he crouches to the bottom of the fridge. His stack of unopened wine bottles is finally coming to use as he doesn’t normally drink wine too often himself. He supposes he can indulge in some as well. “Does the brand matter?” Kook asks, but not really waiting for an answer before he picks one that he remembers getting as a gift from... well , he doesn’t remember. All he knows is it’s of decent quality. Pricey, to say the least. The bottles clonk together as he grabs the one he thinks fits Jimin best, forgetting about his craving for the milk as he returns to the couch with the large bottle and two glasses in hand. “If you want anything specific I can always have it delivered.” He murmurs as he places the glasses down and pulls up his sleeves to open the bottle with a pop. Pop is also an accurate description of what the veins in his hands did as he works the cork out of the bottle neck.

Jimin cannot help the gravitational pull he has towards hands, especially those that do hard work and reflect the fruits of their labor. When Jungkook raises his sleeves, it’s the first time Jimin gets a look at the tattoos that wrap around one arm and down his long fingers. He watches as Jungkook uncorks the bottle and swipes his tongue across his lips to wet them. “Thanks for the offer,” he says quietly, too engrossed in the task at hand. “I’m sure we have everything we need right here.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows tightly draw together as he focuses on pouring the drink into each glass, having no care for the etiquette of ‘filling halfway.’ No, Jungkook fills the glasses until the transparent material is completely red, seeing no reason in being stingy with the drink. When satisfied, he places the bottle on the table and sits down to hand Jimin his overfilled glass while treating himself to the same. He wastes no time in taking a large gulp as he’s not the kind to ‘savor the taste.’

Jimin watched the process and throughout and thought how cute it was that he didn't know how to pour wine. It was just another moment Jimin savoured as unexpected yet endearing. He follows Jungkook’s lead and greedily gulps down a mouthful of the dry merlot. He can tell it’s expensive because it drinks like water and bursts with fruity flavour. He takes another gulp and already feels his alcohol levels rise.

“What do you do around here for fun?” Jimin asks, looking around the room.

Jungkook’s eyes twinkle with excitement at the question, quickly pointing towards the large TV hanging on the wall. “I like video games…” He takes another gulp of his wine, already having downed most of it. He feels the alcohol loosening him up a bit with cheeks a hue of red, puffing up with a smile. “Do you play?”

Jimin swivels to look at the TV and surveys the gaming setup. There’s no doubt the photographer likes to indulge his interests given he owns every console imaginable. He stands with his wine, drinking it steadily as he walks over to the selection of games.

“I’ve played Overwatch before,” he notes, plucking the game and walking it back to Jungkook. “But I won’t go easy on you, Jeon.” He smirks, holding eye contact. He wraps his full lips around the rim of the glass to polish off the rest of his wine, even braver than he was a second ago. “In fact, let’s make this interesting.” His confidence is back in full swing. “Weaker player has to do whatever the other wants, no questions asked.”

Jungkook’s fingers curl around the gamecase — the small pull on his lips quickly turn into a playful smirk at the elders' words. “You won’t go easy on me ?” His smirk morphs, surprised by Jimin’s challenge. He quickly closes his mouth, processing his words as the alcohol amplifies his curiosity about all the possible outcomes of when he wins. Because, obviously, there’s no way Jimin could beat him in overwatch. “Oh... really? ” Jungkook purrs as he stands up, stepping closer to the blonde until their chests merely graze together. His warm breath fans Jimin’s face as he waves the game in the air. “Deal...no questions asked.”

Jungkook quirks an eyebrow and wastes no time in turning the game on, then returns to the couch with two controllers and hands one to Jimin. He’s confident, however, a part of him wonders what Jimin would come up with if he did win…

“D-deal,” Jimin repeats softly, blushing. He grips the controller to focus on something tangible. His heart thunders in his chest as Jungkook’s warm breath still lingers on his flesh. “Before we get started,” he slightly slurs and waves his empty glass in the air, feeling loose. “...Refill time?” Overwatch isn’t necessarily the model’s forte but perhaps he can get the upper hand if Jungkook is just a little more inebriated. Not that he’s trying to take advantage…or maybe he is. The opportunity to do whatever he wants with the man, no questions asked? He doesn’t even know where he would start. He almost feels lightheaded by the thought of guiding Jungkook’s tattooed hand to wrap around his throat, punishing him for being indecisive.

Jungkook’s eyes land on the empty glass in Jimin’s hand. …He wants more? One bottle down, and even the younger man can feel that he’s leaning way past tipsy. But , he thinks, what the hell . It’s a night of celebration, after all. Besides, he may not get another chance like this, alone with the gorgeous blonde. There’s no use in wasting it.

“Okay.” He stands up once more to grab another bottle, returning to fill the glasses up to the brim. There isn’t a single bone in Jungkook that can be described as stingy. He’s very generous. “Don’t blame the wine if you lose though,” he slurs out the words and slumps down on the couch. His fingers tightly grip the controller with one hand as he tilts his head back to chug more of his beverage ; throat muscles flexing as he does so.

Who is he kidding? Jimin has never played the game before. Knocking back a large gulp of his drink, he sets the glass aside to focus. It’s already starting; Jungkook eagerly bounces in his seat to kick his ass. Jimin has already accepted defeat—his drunken mind circling the various shenanigans a man like Jungkook could be interested in. He combs a hand through his styled hair and ruffles it, relaxing into the couch.

“Let’s get it,” he smiles, biting down on his lip.

Jungkook’s nose scrunches up in a snort at Jimin’s words, repeating them himself in a breathy laugh — “Let’s get it!”

After not long at all , t he younger isn’t surprised to see that Jimin has no fucking idea what he’s doing. His cocky attitude was simply for show. Kook barely has to try, half-focused on glancing over at the blonde’s reactions and attempts to figure out the game. A small crease forms between Jimin’s eyebrows, so endearing. The pout on his rosey lips is... alluring . With the bet in mind, Jungkook’s mind wanders…

As the game continues on, it becomes very apparent that the blonde is going to lose his own bet. He keeps running into walls and firing at trees. With a frustrated sigh, he releases the controller and lets it flop pathetically in his lap. “The tree moved, I swear!” To think, he did it to himself. What a fool —he should have chosen something more his speed like Katamari Damacy. He scrambles to pick the controller back up, steadfast in upholding his air of perfection, but it’s too late. …it's time for his punishment.

Jungkook’s toothy smile grows, moreso at the reactions he draws out of the man next to him rather than the actual victory of the game.

“What a dumb tree, huh?” He snickers, putting the controller on the table before turning his whole body towards Jimin, swirling the wine glass in hand. Jungkook rests one arm behind Jimin and leans in real close. “Now, who lost the bet?” He clearly knows, but he really craves hearing it. Call it an ego boost, but hearing the blonde accept his loss in a flustered manner is an incredibly amusing sight.

Swallowing his pride, perhaps a little too easily, Jimin concedes with a light pink blush adorning his cheeks.

“You won, Jeon.” He finishes off the rest of his wine glass and enjoys the floaty euphoric feeling of being out of control but still very present. “Fair and square,” he breathes, inching forward, resting his hands in his lap obediently. “You hold all the power. What would you like me to do?”

‘You hold all the power.’ The words made a shiver run down Jungkook’s spine. It could be innocent, but with the tension between them, that was highly unlikely.

Jungkook’s mind wanders further as his senses amplify and unhinge by the amount of alcohol running through his system. He places his wine glass on the table, now daring to settle his free hand on Jimin’s thigh to give it a soft squeeze. His eyes never waver from the blonde as he tries to draw more reactions from him.

“No questions asked...right?”

#fic: mused obsession #yandere jungkook #jungkook x jimin #jikook #yandere bts #bts mxm #chimoona #sombreboy #boymeetsmxm #jikook fic

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malissawithan-a · 3 years

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Somehow it's been 3 weeks since my last text post, oh gosh. Let's see, my sister had her baby girl on March 18th, we did 2 outdoor Easter egg hunts, and we had the girl's yearly check ups. Plus lots of park visits because of good weather.

Small preschool update for Alice, she is officially registered for a program for this coming fall. We're staying on the wait list for a couple of 3 days a week programs, the one we got into is 4 days a week for 3 hours at a time and that seems like a lot. I think she could handle it and adjust to 4 days but 3 just seems more reasonable.

My sister had her baby almost 3 weeks ago and they're doing good! Going through the usual sleep deprivation and breast feeding woes that come from being a new mom but she and my brother-in-law seem to be adjusting quickly. The baby's name is Laurel, we got to go see them all this past weekend and Alice really loved holding her, it was so cute. I didn't get baby fever from holding her but Alex did, he's seriously pushing for another kid.

I signed the girls up for a couple of outdoor Easter egg hunts and they were a lot of fun, one happened when it was not good weather so that did dampen that but they didn't notice. One of them was at a place that does outdoor art classes and yoga and music classes, it was really cool and they had chickens wandering around that Lucy just loooovveeeddd.

Both Alex and I are on a couple of waitlists for vaccine appointments, the state just opened it up to everyone today so I'm hopeful we can get the first shot sometime soon.

I'm trying to find the motivation to do some gardening, I have stuff I want to plant and it's been great weather to do it but I'm just tired. I know that once I actually get started that it'll be good and worth it, I just need to start.

So that's where I'm at right now, some fun stuff and just a lot of boring routine stuff. Hope you all are doing well!

#if anyone has any tips for getting a vax apt earlier let me know

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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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I was hoping you would be able to help me form a response when my family says they're sick of hearing of systemic racism and white privilege because THEY have had to work for everything and believe nothing got handed to them (true in the way they're thinking, but you know what I mean).

Welp. First, I applaud you for taking the initiative to engage in difficult conversations with your family, since the only way embedded racist ideas are going to get confronted in white society is if racist white people hear it from their friends and family. They are going to cheerily ignore protestors, academics, newsreaders, popular culture, and certainly politicians who say anything to the contrary, but it’s harder to ignore and brush aside when it’s coming from people who are directly within your own family group. They can still then ignore it, but at least you’re trying to do something that is not at all fun but which is deeply necessary, and good for you.

First, there are a few things for you to consider. Is this a case where they actually don’t know the difference, but are willing to learn, or is this essentially sealioning (where they act like they don’t know the difference, but they absolutely do, and put the emotional labor on you to extensively define and explain and educate while never intending to change their stances on anything). If it’s the former, then there is some point in engaging in dialogue with them. If it’s the latter, it’s a giant emotional trap that you are within your rights not to engage with until they signal that they’re willing to engage productively. You don’t have to educate someone who is categorically unwilling to be educated (especially when it’s often deliberate ignorance). As people like to say, Google is free, and it’s their responsibility to take the first steps to change. You can continue to talk with them, but yes, that is contingent on them actually standing a chance of listening to you and not just you wearing yourself out on something that they don’t want to actually hear (because it threatens them and makes them feel Personally Wrong, and white people don’t like that).

There have been various books written on why it’s so hard to talk to white people about racism, which you may be interested in checking out, not least the book "Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race” by Renni Eddo-Lodge. Ibram X. Kendi has also written “How to Be An Antiracist,” one of the bestselling books of this summer, either of which would be useful either in shaping your own arguments or (if they’re receptive) giving to your family. Once again, this is contingent on them signalling that they’re actually willing to listen, and not just to make you do pointless emotional labor. These books are probably available from your public library (though there’s probably a waitlist) or in other easily available formats.

Next, it’s a basic tenet of an anti-racist education that white people have never had to do this kind of reckoning, and thus get whiny, defensive, guilt-tripping, and “it’s not about ME I’m a GOOD PERSON” when it comes up. This also rests on the damaging and deeply intertwined effects of racism and classism, which has to be understood if you’re going to talk about it. One of the greatest tricks that racist capitalism ever pulled is convincing poor white people that they had more in common with their filthy rich white masters (people whose way of life will never in a thousand years be anything like each other’s) simply because they shared the inherent racial “purity” of being white. There have been political studies written on how poor/undereducated/working class white people have become such a reliably Republican constituency, because they have been successfully manipulated to believe that the white overlords are their “people” and they will constantly vote against their own economic, social, and cultural interests in favor of enriching amoral white demagogues who beat the populist xenophobic drum. Then they blame black and brown people for society’s ills and for the reason that they stay poor, rather than the rampaging oligarchs awarding themselves massive tax breaks and billion-dollar bailouts and refusing to extend unemployment benefits in case people “make too much money” from not working, just to name the most recent example. They are so poisoned on populist politics and white supremacy, which assures them that they’re better than anyone else by virtue of being white, that they actively attack politicians and policy platforms and other social welfare initiatives that would materially improve their own lives as “un-American.” This is maddening and sometimes baffling, but it’s how it works. Whiteness trumps all, currently literally thanks to the Orange Fuhrer. Problems in life are the fault of the Other.

This isn’t to say that poor white people are “dumb” and just unable to realize it, because they’re caught in a system that has done this literally from the start of America. In the early 17th century, indentured laborers and slaves in the American colonies were in fact more likely to be white. (The word “slave” comes from “Slav,” since that was the predominant ethnicity of slaves in medieval Europe; i.e. white eastern Europeans.) But even despite the fact that they were unpaid laborers, they were still white and thus recognized as human by their white masters, and thus when slave ships began arriving, it was easier for everybody to simply outright demonize and dehumanize the black African slaves. The poor white indentured servants got to feel better than the black slaves simply for the fact of their whiteness. Their lives obviously sucked, but their whiteness was in fact a mitigating factor in the suckiness that it involved once it was easier to use “animalistic” black people. And we wonder why America can’t ever confront its racist history properly. As Kendi calls it in his other book, it is stamped from the beginning.

As it has been put before, white people can and often do have difficult lives, because late-stage capitalism devours its workers no matter what color they are, but their whiteness isn’t a factor in why their lives are difficult. They will never encounter racial prejudice, race-based hate crime, discrimination for housing, education, employment, bank loans, daily microaggressions and identity erasure, constantly racist tropes in the media, politicians fingering them as everything wrong with America/the world, casual prejudices or assumptions even from close friends, assumed criminality based just on their race -- etc etc. The list goes on and on. Just because you have a hardscrabble economic background does not mean that your life has been made harder by your race -- because if you’re white, it hasn’t. (And as noted, poor white people have consistently voted for megalomaniac white men who don’t give a shit about them but promise them that everything is fine or should be better for them because of their whiteness, and then blame minorities for being the source of their problems.)

I honestly wonder if racism would still be such a problem in America if we had a remotely more equitable economic system, because when you’re well off and have your basic needs consistently met and don’t need to worry that you’re one paycheck away from disaster, it’s harder to constantly be paranoid that your differently colored neighbors are stealing everything from you and the cause of all society’s ills. The historian Patrick Hyder Patterson wrote a very interesting book on material culture in Yugoslavia in the 20th century, where he basically argued that despite the spectacular collapse of the federation into the Yugoslavian wars of the 90s, things didn’t really go to hell until after the economy crashed following Josip Broz Tito’s death in 1980. While there were obviously ethnic fault lines and conflicts between Serbs, Croats, Montenegrins, Bosniaks, Albanians, etc, when there wasn’t any money and any jobs and everyone thought everyone else was to blame, THAT is when the whole thing blew up into a genocidal civil war clusterfuck. Food for thought.

This is why people talk about economic justice and racial justice as going hand in hand. When there is a scarcity of resources and no social safety net, people are obviously more inclined to look for scapegoats and to blame someone for taking their entitlement (while still somehow refusing to blame the billionaires and corporate oligarch who are ACTUALLY stealing from them). They indeed actively resist any attempts to make their own lives better as being “socialist” or “un-American” and take pride in the fact that there’s absolutely jacksquat nothing (until of course, something like the coronavirus pandemic hits and it’s revealed just how many of us were always one missed paycheck away from disaster). Then when they need government assistance (while disdaining the government as tyrannical the rest of the time, unless it’s Trump’s actively tyrannical lot, but hey, we don’t have time to unpack all that) it’s still shameful and something they shouldn’t be using, instead of their basic entitlement to a decent life.

This country is poisoned on a lot of toxic beliefs, but this is one of the deepest-running one, and which will always get in the way of poor white people dealing with racism: their lives suck, but they have ALWAYS been told that despite that, they’re still better just for being white, which is their consolation prize for supporting white populists who actively rob them, and they haven’t even always consciously registered that. They just feel that if they’re “fine,” even if they’re not fine, then black people are just malcontents and criminals who can’t hack it. In 2016, there was a lot of ink spilled over how poor white people felt a sense of economic grievance and being left behind, which was why they voted for Trump, but... Trump was never going to do a damn thing about that??? He doesn’t actually do anything for his supporters except feed them his jingoistic Orange Nazi stump speeches. They voted for Trump to feel vindicated, not to actually improve their lives, and it’s damn clear by now that not only has he NOT improved their lives, he has no desire to do so. He just wants them to cheer for him and feed his ego, not fix any problems.

Basically, racism and capitalism and the American political system intersect in multiple deeply toxic ways to do precisely what you’re talking about; producing poor white people who feel that they shouldn’t be included in the reckoning with racism because if THEY worked hard and they don’t live in a mansion, somehow racism is fake and black people should just shut up and get a job etc etc. This is because poor white people have been systematically conditioned to support white supremacy at the direct expense of their own economic and social interests; it’s terrible, but that’s how it functions. They will never in a million years have anything in common with the (white) ruling class, but they still instinctively identify with them rather than people in their own deprived economic class who are different races or colors or religions. That is how white supremacy has supported the hyper-inequality of the industrial age, and vice verse, and it is one of capitalism’s best functions for survival, so it’s in the interests of the overlords to maintain it. Stop the workers from recognizing pan-racial solidarity based on economic grievance, and compete with each other and blame each other rather than the overarching system, easy!

Anyway. Once again, this is long. But in short, the attitudes your family are exemplifying are a direct result of both racism and classism as they have been deliberately cultivated in the American social and political system, and the interlocking causes and symptoms of both have to be recognized (and acknowledged) before they can get to dealing with that. I don’t know how that will go, and I don’t have an easy shortcut. But I’m glad you’re trying. Good luck.

#politics for ts #history of racism #long post #anonymous #ask

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mrssarablack · 3 years

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1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Heterosexual.

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Hmm, I really don't know. I have my usual things that would qualify but my "obsessions" but they don't often consume me to a high degree, so I have a hard time dubbing anything I like a full blown obsession.

That being said, it's probably tiktok. The obsession of the moment, I find myself on the app entirely too much because it's just a fun party and oh the things that lead to little research dives are fascinating. Mostly it's the musicians that get me. I love creativity and am forever amazed by the collaborations and straight magic people make in the time allotted... but it takes up way too much of my time when it really shouldn't. I have better things I could be doing.

3. Ever done any drugs?

Yup.

4. What piercings do you want?

None. My ears are pierced to the degree I like and I don't really desire anything else to be pierced.

5. How many people have you kissed?

Enough.

6. Describe your dream home.

The house I live in outdoes anything I could possibly come up with. I'm very happy with my home, but I'd be happy most anywhere. If I'm honest, I'm a bit Aladdin-like when it comes to living arrangements. My dream home list, if I only considered myself, is the very low bar of a roof over my head that has a beautiful view. Bonus it has a pool but it's not a requirement.

Clearly, where I live outdoes that by a longshot and I'm very lucky to have the things I have. I'm not unaware of that fact.

7. Who are you jealous of?

There is no way for this not to sound like a humble brag in my head, but no one. I've never been the jealous type. There's so much unnecessary energy in wanting what someone else has and jealousy is a negative you just don't need in your life. It's much better to focus on your own joy and not worry about what others are doing.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

Schitt's Creek

9. Do you watch porn?

I have.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

No, I don't.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

I don't know, I'm good, but somewhere warm and with a beach, I guess?

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I really only have one and that's of my mother apologizing for what she did.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope.

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I probably wouldn't.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yes

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No, but I'm pretty sure some have followed me...🙄

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

My mother. It ebbs and flows between anger and indifference. Depends on the thoughts I'm having surrounding the why of it.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I don't want any.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

Maybe? But probably not. I don't particularly like my name. It's kind of dull, if I'm honest, but at the same time it's my name and I don't have a replacement in my head for it. So, I'm Sara and I'll forever be Sara. It's alright.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

I already answered this, but I suppose my general obsession is pokemon. I like the games and the lore. The whole thing is fun and I enjoy it a lot.

21. Describe your best friend.

She's like sunshine. She's bubbly and sweet. Anna has optimism for days. She can be a little naive but people also see naivety in what is actually her stubbornness. She won't give up on people even if she should. She sees good in almost everything but she isn't unaware that bad exists.

And because of this her kindness shines. She'd help a stranger without hesitation or a need for anything back. She very much is a person who would stick her neck out to save a life. She brings out the best in people and makes it look effortless. She is kind and caring but has a determination that can tackle damn near anything that becomes an obstacle. Anna's a force to reckon with and not many people realize this truth.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

@nikolascblack

Did you really think I'd pick someone else?

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

This list alternates with moods. I love so many bands and artists. But right now the top five are:

Nikolas Black

AJR

The Beatles

Ok One Rock

P!nk

24. What are three places you want to travel?

I really am that person if given the chance to just pick a plane and go I'd probably take it. I just want to experience all the places so here are the first regions that came to mind...

Italy (like all of it)

Spain/ Barcelona

South of France

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

It's getting warmer so, right now, it's an evening with Nikolas on our back patio. Fire up the grill and enjoy a meal outdoors. Maybe spend some time in the pool. End the evening with a warm blanket and a cuddle.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer. My skin may take issue with the sun but I like it best when it's warm and sunny and being outside.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

When I am listening to music… I probably don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone. I do not like when I'm interrupted when my music is on.

Also, if I'm doing art or sewing … be aware I might get snippy if you choose to interrupt my flow. I like reaching stopping points before I'm asked to change gears.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Probably Jakub. He's the king of one liners and his sass gets me.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

I'd say Avatar, was not impressed by space Pocahontas….

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

... um... I'm not really the shy type. If I wanna get to know someone.... I'm going to be friendly to them and start a conversation.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

Paper books but I do register I read more electronic ones. The library system is nice in that format… when I actually finish a book. I don't read that fast so I have like 3 waitlisted at any given time three or four times over just so I can finish it … 😅

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Pokemon?

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I dislike questions that make me feel like I'm bragging. Or that could be seen as such but my wardrobe wouldn't really change because my boyfriend allows me to use his funds from time to time to have the nicer clothing items I like. Which sit right alongside my jeans I got from TJ Maxx. Legitimately, it probably wouldn't change at all.

34. What’s your coffee order?

Cold brew or if it's cold I typically, latte it's usually a hazelnut

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

No.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

I don't. Most of them were pretty shit people. So, yeah… nope, I don't think much on them at all really.

37. Have any tattoos?

38. Do you drink?

Occasionally

39. Are you a virgin?

Heh… no.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope

41. How many followers do you have?

Um… I have no idea. Not many that's for sure.

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

I did this once. I'm not going to objectify him again. So instead:

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

True crime documentaries or horror movies. I do not watch them often. Nikolas isn't into it and I'm not going to be the ass that takes the tv and makes him watch something he doesn't like. So, I save it for when I am alone.

44. Do you read erotica?

I have but I don't seek it out. Typically the erotica I have read has been tucked away in a romance novel and was far more than I expected it to go from the synopsis or anything before that point.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

I have to go with the one where it was clear he asked me out as some sort of revenge date. His ex-girlfriend was at the location with friends and he kept looking over at her trying to see her reaction. It was bad and I dismissed myself as quickly as I could.

46. How many people do you follow?

Again, I don't know. I know it's mostly friends and artists or designers but I'm too lazy to look up the number because I don't care.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

This guy right here:

48. Describe your ideal partner.

There's a theme here...

49. Who do you text the most?

Anna? Our friend text line is usually an all day back and forth.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Sunny and warm. Weather that screams "beach day"

#sara reynolds #random questions #bored #been a while since ive done this #oc #roleplay

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inkofamethyst · 3 years

Text

March 29, 2021

Note to self: do not resize computer window with a tumblr post drafted on it because the draft will get erased (it’s happened to me twice in the past five minutes and I’m feeling a lot of !!! right now)

Two-ish things: Icon for Hire and my meeting with my bio advisor.

1. Re-discovered Icon for Hire this evening (my puzzle-friend played a bunch of their songs a while ago and I’d forgotten the band name lol) and I’ve been going through their entire discography because they’re very Paramore-esque and I was/am a huge Paramore fan in middle/early high school and they released a song on my birthday this year called Background Sad and like,,, that’s one of the most eerie things ever. I don’t really believe in fate or anything like that (and I mean, the song itself is just kinda eh), but you’ve got to admit that’s a little weird innit? How I’d been talking about Background Stress for months and having very similar feelings and then a song about it is released on my birthday by a band that I like the sound of?? Idk.

2. Bio advising went well. I have to take an additional class (freaked me out initially because I thought I wouldn’t have enough space to fit in an archaeology minor, but I should be fine if everything works out (there’s a class I have to take the fall of my senior year for the minor (it’s only offered once a year at a single time, you know, to make things difficult), but everything else is fairly flexible, I think, and I should get to take some fun history classes!)), but that’s really about it. Now I just need to get my anthro advising done.

I will say, six spaces in the theatre class I want to take have already been filled which makes me feel really really really really really really worried about being able to get into that class. Like, I would really love to take that class in the fall, and I’m really hoping for it (to the point where I haven’t even considered any alternatives (of course, knowing me, that’s not completely true: there’s a professional writing course that I have to take to graduate, and I’d probably just waitlist the theatre class (which, by the way, covers a gen ed) and register for an open section of professional writing, but I was really hoping that I could take that during a lighter semester)). I have seven days to go, and there are two other completely open sections that people could register for as well. Hopefully those will gain some traction? Ah well. I’ll waitlist it if I have to.

Okay, so, I just looked, and registration started last Thursday... and I don’t really know what to do with that information, actually. Hope for the best? That’s really all I can do at this point.

All right, I’m off to draft some emails that should get sent tomorrow.

Today I’m thankful that this will be a fairly light week for me. I feel like I need this between the two exams last week and the two exams I have coming up.

Um, also, and I don’t want to go too deep into this because, again, it ain’t my story to tell, but I kina wanna... pray? I guess? for my dnd-friend because she is really going through a rough patch in her relationship right now and like,,, she is such an incredible person for trying to stick this out and I know it’s bothering her (and this isn’t me extrapolating, it’s basically a quote), but she cares for people so much.

The entire discord server is on a call right now comforting her and such a huge part of me wants to jump on just to be there but there’s also a huger part that doubts whether my presence among five of her other friends would really be effective, especially when I know I have no advice to give and especially seeing as I haven’t been active in the chat for months. I’ve never been in anything close to a relationship, and I’m not a psych major whose taken a class on the subject. I’d just kind of be... there. And I cannot express the amount of uselessness I would feel. Not to mention I don’t even know if me being there would provide any sort of additional comfort. I do hate feeling this way, but the path of least resistance for me right now is to just not join, and I’ve not the confidence at the moment to push back.

See, the problem is that I know I’m going to look back on this and regret it, but I cannot justify to myself right now why I would join. I don’t have anything to offer except my presence and I don’t know if that is actually worth anything.

Anyway.

Romantic relationships can be so messy. And she’s handling it with such patience.

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exosmutfactory · 5 years

Text

Dark Horse-Prologue

All I know is that one day my boyfriend and lifelong best friend disappeared. No word of him from anyone. No trace of him anywhere. And after 6 agonizing months, they concluded that he is dead. So why the fuxk do I seeing him strolling around town at 3am?

[ warnings: strangulation(being choked), blood, implications of murder/death, scary shit ]

Prologue ✓ | Part 1| Part 2 |

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Baekhyun?

I’ve never been one to venture outside after dark. Always sticking to a safe schedule even if I live in a fairly nice neighboorhood. I’ve grown up knowing that you can never be too cautious; too present; too defensive. For the ones in the big, unlocked houses on the hill are killed in cold blood just as the innocent bystanders walking the lone hood streets. And I, unfortunately, have been a witness to both.

So no, you would never catch me power walking down the streets with both hands full of groceries at 3 am. But with one coworker calling in sick, another quitting before putting in their two weeks in advance and an important order due by 7 am the following morning; I had no choice but to stay back and help my frail boss get everything done. She offered to call me a cab, but I’ve never been one to take a ride from strangers. Not in years, and not when my car is actually working. Just my luck it is stuck on a 3-week waitlist at the only auto shop in this forsaken town.

I sigh deeply, a cloud of smoke forming from the cold November air. The bags in my hands will surely break if I don’t get home soon. The girl behind the register packaged everything poorly with a clear sneer on her face. Honestly, I’m used to such behavior, but I don’t have my trusty shopping bag with me. It’s left in my car. Luck isn’t quite on my side this week, but I will not let it get me down. Everything passes eventually... No matter how long that eventually is.

Carefully walking across the road one block away from my destination, I look up at the moon. Something about the glowing orb in the sky brings a sense of calm to my heart. And, unexpectedly, it’s in full form.

Strange; I think. Wasn’t it full the previous Tuesday?

With a start in my chest as I recall the last time I’ve seen it, I realize… It was.

A jarring noise brings my steps to a halt; my ears picking up on it from the alley to my right. With it comes the sound of a muffled scream and the squish of a knife diving into human flesh.

I close my eyes in resign, steadying my breathing before continuing on.

Before my foot can even touch the ground, I’m grabbed harshly by the arm. I cry out when my face slams into a wall. The bricks mercilessly scraping my cheek; hot blood running over my parted lips as I gasped for air. The click of heeled boots comes my way as I carefully lean away from the wall; hissing when my wounds are slammed right back against it by a cold hand. I close my stinging eyes.

The culprit chuckles. “Didn’t mama teach you never to go out after dark, little girl?” They whisper in my ear, roughly dragging sharp teeth across it that makes me cry out again before licking the dripping blood with a hum. “Especially tasting this sweet…” Gripping my collar they tear the back of my clothes with a single yank. “Hmm,” They lightly drag their teeth over the exposed skin; cold tongue occasionally flicking out as if sampling a new meal, “So pure too.”

I can’t help shivering, but it’s not from injury, the cold or humiliation… It’s… Their voice… Against all the things my therapist told me. Against all odds of my suspicions being incorrect. Against the possibility… the likelihood of my thoughts being false. I think of him. And open my eyes. The truth is one that I can’t handle.

A strange man with snow-white hair covering his eyes; an adored button nose; mochi lips I’ve kissed thousands of times.

“Baekhyun?” I utter, feeling breathless as the realization sets in. It’s him. It’s him! It has to be him.

Then they lift their head; eyelids flicked open to reveal blood-red pupils and blacked out irises where normally shining brown orbs are supposed to be. The crooked smirk on their face sinister as I see the souls of the people that have been devoured swirling in those demon eyes.

I choke as a cold hand wraps around my neck, scratching at it as my lungs burned with the need for air; black dots filling my vision at an alarming rate. Before I lose consciousness, the...the thing leans closer.

It tilts its head, “Baekhyun?” A wider smirk reveals razor-sharp teeth covered in crimson; the metallic scent of blood and raw meat reaching my sensitive nose. “No.” It cackles, tightening its grip so much I can only silently scream at the loud crack of the top of my spine.

Just as the light is fading for my eyes; my sense of touch going numb with the oncoming darkness; its distant voice rings loud and clear.

“I am Baëkhyun.”

I sit up with a choked gasp, clawing at nothing but air. My eyes flicker over the blurry room; pastel colors taking a while to register in my mind.

I’m alive; I gasp in another breath, counting to 100 as I try to calm my pounding heart. I’m alive; my hands reach down to the cotton candy blue sheets, gripping them as my breathing regulates. With a blink, the blur clears from my eyes. Comforting baby pink walls greeting me.

I jump when my alarm goes off, quickly slamming the clock to shut it up. The time reading 7:00 am on the dot.

I sigh shakily, running a hand roughly through my tangled hair, “I’m alive...” Looking down at my hands I wince, curling them to hide my dirtied nails.

Relaxing against my pile of pillows, I turn my head to look out the window; whimpering the second my neck throbs in pain. Facing forward, I carefully climb out of bed; paddling with bare feet across the carpeted floor to my room door. I move to the door to the left, flicking on the lights before stepping into the room. My breath catching in my throat at the state of my neck.

Four distinctly red finger marks on the left and another on the right; all larger than my own hand. All the shape of his.

Dumbly poking a tentative finger at one of them, I cry out in pain; gripping the sink for support.

It wasn’t a dream; I do not dare to utter aloud, taking another look at the mirror.

To my horror, I see him there; razor-sharp teeth preparing to sink into my neck.

With a startled scream, I run out of the room; slamming the door to my bedroom shut. But even safely within the confinements of my room, the scent of his rancid breath lingers. The sound of his evil laughter circling in my head.

I let my back slide down the door, curling my knees to my chest as I try to stop choking on air.

If that wasn’t a dream…

My eyes fall shut, squeezing hard enough to hurt as tears well up.

“If that wasn’t a dream. I’ll be seeing him soon…”

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Prologue ✓ | Part 1| Part 2 |

#not tagging this part so I dont freak anyone out ahhh #feel free to ask what I was on while making this #aka I listened to bad romance and dark horse on repeat #by lady gaga and katy perry yes #and ofc the exo comeback is a thing #please dont come after me with pitchforks xd

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littlemissmeggie · 4 years

Text

@xoxosoulshine mentioned you in a post

@littlemissmeggie congrats on making it past Wednesday though happy 6months bb!! Hopefully you'll get to relax a little this weekend

thank you, my friend. i’ll just be happy after, like, 12:30 on monday afternoon. i had my walkthrough with the mall manager scheduled for monday at 11:00 but we were finished cleaning at about 4:00 yesterday and the truck had picked up all of our IT equipment and everything at 11:30. we were just waiting for one guy to come to pick up a ladder he’d bought so i went over to her office and asked if she would mind doing it while we waited rather than on monday. it was only about 10 minutes, she just walked around and looked at the fixtures we’d left behind and checked to make sure everything was clean. she was actually impressed with how clean everything was. but she didn’t like that we’d sold the butcherblock tops to the cash register/gift wrap stations. the tops hadn’t been on the fixture sales list—the whole station had been but nobody wanted to buy them because they’re 13.5′ long and hardwired into the floor—but also hadn’t been in the exclusion list. according to all of the fixture sales paperwork, things could be sold as long as it didn’t cause any damage and the only damage removing the tops caused was some screw holes and a few scratches. my right-hand woman barb and i figured that they could just replace the top with another butcherblock or even a cheap countertop from home depot. now i’m worried that she’ll make a fuss and it will somehow lose me my $2,000 “incentive bonus” that i’m supposed to be getting for staying on through this emotional hell, working nonessential retail through a global pandemic. and that i’m counting on because i don’t have another job yet and i need money. once i confirm with the district manager on monday (she still thinks i’m doing the walkthrough on monday at 11:00 because i’ll be paid for the whole day if i do it monday.) that i’ve done the walkthrough, then i’m done. i hope the fact that my store was #5 in sales for the eastern region and #9 in the company out of 51 stores (they told us that like we should be proud of ourselves. like yeah, i’m so proud that i helped you help me successfully lose my job.) will help me out, as will the fact that we left the store clean, i submitted all of my employee terminations and timesheet edits on my laptop before i left yesterday, did everything else i was asked. (we tore down our IT stuff on thursday so it could be shipped back.) anyway, i’m just really stressed about that and can’t wait until i can tell the DM that i’m finished, key is handed in (already is but she doesn’t know that), i’m done.

i was supposed to have an hour-long message today. i got a call this morning that my massage therapist had a cancellation so she could do a 90 minute, which is what i usually do. so i rushed to get there... and got stuck in an awful detour because a transformer blew a half mile up the road from the massage place. i called and ended up rescheduling for monday night because i wasn’t even going to make it in time for the hour massage.

so i decided to at least salvage the drive and go to at&t because i need a new phone. i went in and they put me on the “waitlist” so they wouldn’t have too many people sitting in the store waiting and told me they would call me in about 20 minutes. i went for a walk around the plaza (same plaza where sur la table is), went into barnes & noble, sat in my car for a bit, and almost an hour later went back into at&t. they told me they’d tried to call me. i had no missed calls. my phone might be having some problems (hence wanting a new phone) but missing calls isn’t one of them. so i went to talk with one of the guys and because my name on my driver's license doesn’t match the name my dad has for me on his family plan (meggie isn’t my legal name but i’ve literally never been called my legal name except in... legal situations.), they need the passcode for my dad’s account. i called my dad. he doesn’t know it but it’s at home in his notebook with all his passwords and usernames. he was driving home from cape cod and didn’t have his notebook with him.

now i’m home in a terrible mood with a headache, stressed and anxious, and i feel like crying. god.

#xoxosoulshine #finishing work was supposed to make me feel better #i still feel this looming sense of dread that i think i'll feel until i get my final paycheck and bonus #i don't know how i'll know if they decide to not give me the bonus #meggie talks #a lot

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isamabella · 4 years

Note

Any tips for those of us going into our freshman year of college? Thank you for your time!

Sooooo I definitely accidentally wrote you a literal 2 page essay with horrible grammar so im very very sorry ahead of time and I'm sure you regret asking😬

I think the first thing that comes to mind is be flexible. I used to plan out classes months ahead of time and make back up plans. That’s great, but freshman got last pick for classes. Even more if your last name was toward the end of the alphabet like mine. This meant classes I planned ahead of time were waitlisted or closed by the time I could enroll. This often left me frantic even though it it worked out every time. The Nevada higher education system also “encourages” students to take 15 credits per semester instead of 12. By encourage, I mean threatening to take financial aid away. I think knowing that was hanging over my head and ability to pay for school only made it worse. So yes, make a plan, but don’t be so rigid that you’re basically anxious every day because of it. Most people change majors multiple times. I changed it 3 times in a year and a half. If you decide to do a minor, don’t feel pressure to make it related to whatever your career goals are. I did my bachelors in public health with a minor in addiction treatment services. They went well together, but I chose the minor because I was interested in it. If you want to be an art major with a biology minor, go for it.

Find balance! I struggle with this constantly and I’m 6 years and two degrees in. I won’t tell you not to procrastinate, because that’s how I operate. So many people would tell me to “just get it done early”. It’s just not how I work even now. I will say try not to binge study. Even when you’re studying the night before an exam, take breaks. It probably sounds like common sense, but just like times when I procrastinate, I also have the terrible habit of trying to learn everything at once. I did this the other day actually. I learned 148 anatomical terms and locations in about 7 hours for a 15 question quiz. I should’ve taken breaks and spread out the time frame.

Professors! You’re going to have some loose butthole professors. Generally though, just be respectful of them. College students can be massive assholes toward the professors, don’t be another one. I’d also encourage utilizing office hours. I never did and I actually think I put myself at a disadvantage. Oh! I was a TA my senior year for my friend’s class. From my perspective as a TA, once again don’t be a jerk. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. From experience, professors want to help. Side note, some like hearing you liked the topic and stuff like that. Especially when it’s a rough class. Be genuine though. Don’t do it to suck up. It’s hard to teach huge classes. My friend’s was 180 the semester I was his TA. There were a couple times when he just said he was done teaching for the day, because of how terrible some of the students were being in class. Most professors are trying their best. Remember that. They’re human too.

Kind of odd, but please know how to write an email! One of my many roommates I’ve had over the years took the class I TA’d with her friend. Her friend emailed me asking about the midterm. The problem was that her email didn't have her actual name, there was no general greeting like “hey”, there was no signature, AND no subject line. So I didn’t answer it. She ended up asking me when she was at my apartment one night why I didn't answer. You won’t get an answer if you don’t do the bare minimum of writing a decent email.

Know your student ID number. You may or may not need it, but know it or have it on your phone in case.

For the love of god, if you need a question answered for a class, check the syllabus multiple times before emailing. Kind of related, I work at one of my school’s offices, and the idea of researching applies here too. I can’t tell you how many times students ask why they got kicked out of classes or why they didn’t graduate. It usually comes down to whether they actually paid their fees. Sometimes they don’t even declare a program! They don’t look at their school account regularly where they would see all this info. One graduate student actually told me they didn’t know why the school was threatening to kick them out of classes. What happened is that they enrolled in a class after school started and didn’t pay for it. They thought they did by magic I guess, because even though they thought they paid it, they also said they didn’t make an actual payment. PLEASE DON’T BE THAT STUDENT. Know how to register for classes, be aware of enrollment deadlines, and tuition deadlines too. On that note, MEET WITH YOUR ADVISOR BEFORE YOU ENROLL EACH SEMESTER. They’re there to help you! My undergrad advisor switched my curriculum to the newer one my junior year so I didn’t have to take an extra class.

Don’t be afraid to try out new things. I was always afraid to go into theatre or participate in other clubs. I regret that so much to this day. For me, it wasn’t even about making friends. It was about gaining new experiences and exploring what I liked. So if your school does a club fair- virtual or otherwise- go for it and try something out. You don’t have to commit, but it’s worth a try!

Know your resources! That professor I’m friends with? He talks to students about addiction, suicide, sexual assault, and just life in general. Before working with him as a part of two student organizations, I didn’t know how to help myself or others in situations like I mentioned earlier. School wasn’t very good about putting out those resources, because colleges in general don't want to admit these are issues students deal with. My school has counseling, $5 therapy by the grad students getting licensed, and a school psychiatrist. I’d recommend knowing how to get in touch with all your school’s mental health resources. Remember, you don’t have to be in crisis to go to therapy.

BIGGEST LESSON:

You’ll be studying and doing homework a lot, so really try enjoy everything else. I’m a huge introvert so I basically have about 1 really good friend from school and he was my professor (the one I TA’d for). I love him to death, but I wish I wasn’t so worried about what others thought (and still think) about me. I don’t drink or use drugs so it was really hard finding people that didn’t pressure or question my decisions about it. Find your people. If they’re not right for you, don’t be afraid to let them go. That’s probably the biggest piece of advice I would give myself 5 years ago. The good times aren’t worth it if your friends cause you to feel bad during the rest of the time. I can honestly say the “friend” group I had for most of undergrad was the root of my sudden depressive episodes, disordered eating behaviors, constant anger that I internalized, and engaging in behaviors that I didn’t know were considered to be on the suicidal ideation scale. It was an endless cycle. They weren't bad people, but they were bad for me. I think it took years to finally come to terms with it, because prior to college, I never had problems with friends and I was never involved in drama so I had no clue how I was supposed to handle all the problems. The cherry on top was that I lived with these people so I couldn’t just leave. In retrospect, I think those friendships were borderline emotionally and mental abusive. The constant walking on eggshells because of the hot and cold environment was a lot. Know your worth and enjoy your college time!

Sorry for the novel, but there was just so much to write about. If there’s something specific, let me know and I’ll try and help. :)

@archetypal-archivist

#ask

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bijoulilou · 5 years

Text

If Jude's parents lived Pt 5

"We should've stayed in my room." I grumble. One of my drunk classmates dragged it across Laken's backyard and into the woods for me. They presented it to me with a sloppy sweep of their arms with slurred yet doting, 'My Queen.'

Cardan is impressed, "Why? I would have never gotten the opportunity to witness your rule firsthand. Though, I wouldn't mind returning to that conversation later." He nods before I playfully bump him with my hip as he leads me to accept my makeshift throne.

Locke calls over and Cardan sighs. Before he leaves my side, Cardan threatens me about the hip bump. How I shouldn't tease him so openly. How I might just find him bumping back. A blush starts across my face and when kisses my cheek, I deliberately pull the cap over his eyes. He retreats with a smile and another fleeting kiss, but on my lips.

Katie whistles appreciatively.

The boy holds the chair, with a bit if drunken swagger and accept it with an eye roll before the fire. I watch my subject enjoy themselves as I draw my knees up on the patio chair. My legs are cold due to the slits on the knees. I detest wearing constricting bottoms, modifications on all of my jeans attest to that. Taryn has to pick certain pieces of outfits to make it fashionable over my functional attitude.

Katie mirrors my eye roll. She sits on my lap, forcing me out of my previous stance. Mara is flirting with a girl from Taryn's circle and Katie narrows here gaze. Clearly irritated and partially jealous. My eyes go to Cardan as he listens to Taryn talk beside Locke. A bored expression drawn across his face as he drinks from his red cup. Locke reaches up to observe my knit cap, but he swats his hand away. Taryn laughs nervously, I can tell by the way she reveals her teeth beneath a tight tilt of her lips.

"Your sister is doing that annoying fake ass laugh. Ughhhh, how are you two related? Are you sure she isn't some evil clone or doppelganger." The last part isn't a question. I think she really believes that. It is my turn to swat at her. "Hey don't tease me when I'm vulnerable!" She jerks her head to Mara whose fingers are linked through the Taryn's friend's hand.

"Then don't say ridiculous crap." I wag my finger at her and she snaps at it. Before I can push her off and convince her to go over and tell Mara, her unrequited love, a familiar chuckle interrupts are little repartee. We both look up and Katie groans. Before she can tell Collin, my ex, to bug off, I greet him.

Katie throws her arms nonchalantly around me, she isn't drunk this is typical behavior. She seemed him unworthy when he broke up with me right after I got accepted into a university we both wanted. Not because he wanted to avoid the heart ache of being separated by distance. But because I'm the one that got in. Rumor is he got waitlisted. Can't say the same about my heart.

"Hey Jude," he sings and I ignore the way it tugs at old memories.

"What up fuck boi." I drink heavily from my cup, the beer's bitterness stops me from saying more.

Collin stops and looks around confused. Katie clarifies that I am referring to him. He frowns.

"Jude, can we talk...alone." Collin asks. I give a scrutinizing look, Katie plays with my hair pretending she didn't hear him.

"Yes. We are alone." Another sip to make it convincing. When he points out Katie, I shrug. "Oh this? This is just my friend scarf. It protects me from the cold."

"And utter bullshit." Katie clinks are cups together, we finish the last bit of the beer in unison. Taryn may actually be my twin, but Katie is my spiritual one. We can communicate with looks, clicks of our tongues or sets of our jaw. It really annoys the other players on the field. And Taryn off of it.

Collin shifts uncomfortably. I will not to be seduced by his amazing hazel eyes and adorable freckles across his cheeks and tan body. I try to push the image of his tanned toned shoulders out of my head. I feign a yawn.

Collin sighs and sits down in front of me. Not caring if the grass is damp or not. Maybe he is unaware of the way he is blocking the fire and the shadows play across his face.

Damnit I'm a little buzzed. I really didn't want to come because I knew Laken's brother, Collin might be here. Taryn always seemed to resent me for that. After we broke up she couldn't always go to her parties because of this situation. After a while she kept going despite my feelings. He takes a vape ciggarette out of his pockets, Katie wrinkles her nose. He gestures if we want to try it, but Katie shakes her head. She can't stand the smoky scent of cotton candy and gets up to leave. I glower at Collin, he sits back on his hands triumphant. A small smile on his lips.

"Did you plan on ignoring me this whole time?" Collin draws a big puff of mist and I wave it away as he apologizes.

"No, I didn't think of you at all actually." I turn my head to gesture at the bag of wine that's being tossed around. Mara in question is cheering while Katie tries to cover her eyes from witnessing someone spray wine out of their nose. Cardan's given the bag, and to everyone surprise he keeps drinking until somebody else taps him out. "That's why I'm here."

Collin frowns, "To play slap the bag?" I laugh and he gives me an impish grin. Such a lame move, but he can't help it. "I know who you're talking about. What does he have to with any of this? I mean with us." He gestures the sir between us.

I bite my lip, watching as everyone cheers around Cardan. We see as he dumps the beer and fills it back up with another bag of wine. Cardan tips his cup towards us, catching our audience and cheers to us across the way, with a wink towards me.

"He wanted to see what the fuss was about. " my mouth seems permanently tipped up in mirth around him," Besides there is no 'us' to discuss."

My eyes go over Cardan's dark hair, his high cheek bones and long figure. I gladly remember the slight yet prowess of his body, along with the kisses he left on my body. We share a look and I have to clear my throat before returning to look at Collin.

"I can see that." Collin's eyes focus on me and then flicker down my neck. They linger there and I smooth my hair on either side of my throat wondering if Cardanleft a mark for that very reason. To ware off potential suitors.

Collin continues, "He's not really your type. I almost thought he came with your sister. She has a thing for artists right?" Chin jerks to Locke who is now watching Collin and I intently.

Collin covers my knees with his hands. He must remember how quickly I get cold. In an instant I smoothly brush them off but manages to capture one and holds it. Theres a pleading look in his eyes.

"Jude?"

Locke surprises both of us, Collin doesn't remove his grasp right away. But when he does, he gives me a long lingering look before getting up. Collin rises to his feet and leans in, but I turn my cheek. Collin gets the message and walks away, but not before saying low enough for me to hear that he'll text me later. I answer back that it won't matter.

Locke takes his place with a sunny disposition. He's clearly intrigued but before he can ask, Taryn Joins us. She promptly sits beside him, resting her hand on his knee. Territorially. I catch a face that Locke makes, but it's too quick for me to register that it actually happened.

I feel a warm kiss on my cheek and Cardan sits on my lap. He drapes his leg over the side, mimicking what Katie did earlier. I laugh, he joins in at the sounds with an honest expression. He quickly rises so that I may sit on his lap instead. Cardan's hands cover my knees and I'm surprised by how warm they are. He draws me closer and I breath in his scent and I hear him take mine.

"Why're you so happy?" I ask, lips slightly pursed.

Cardan concedes and gives me a tender kiss. The kind that nips my toes, especially when his touch goes up my knee and I have to purposely stop him from reaching my thigh.

"Because I find myself in your company. I sought an audience with her majesty and you didn't turn me away."

My brow furrows, we are talking in soft whispers to one another. I can feel others watching, inebriated and sober. I myself feel a mixture of both. I ask him why is that so surprising. Before he can answer, Locke once again interrupts.

"Jude. Taryn tells me how you became well acquainted with the family of this estate. I am to assume that you were involved with that strapping young man that you were talking to." A muscle in Cardan's jaw twitches at his friend's words. My finger tips stroke the line of his jaw until it relaxes. I tell Locke that he is right, but that was a long time ago.

"Can't be very long. Your sister tells me it was just over the summer."

Cardan opens his mouth but I shake my head and turn in my seat to glare at Locke. Taryn softly hisses his name but I feel a rise of anger in my belly.

"It ended amicably. Can't say the same about you though. Nicasia had been with Cardan with a long time. I hear she has since favored you though." The girl with the blue hair from that night in the woods. Cardan's ex.

Locke's smile turns sheepish, "Whatever favor she holds is her own. I can only speak for myself and the favor I have for your sister." Taryn holds herself up a little more proudly.

"But surely it didn't start out that way. Perhaps my sister is uninformed of your way of swaying others or the methods of testing bonds amongst your circle of friends." Cardan says my name, his hands press me closer as if I'm going to jump out at Locke.

Locke's eyes fall on Cardan, "My my, what has my prince shared with you since."

I move so that instead we are locking stares. "It was not your prince who informed me. You would be surprised of what others in question have to say about it." I don't reveal my sources of the whispers of that night. Cardan told me some but not much. It was the gossip of the other faeries and VIvi who filled me in. Taryn's eyes widen and she steers the conversation on a lighter topic.

As the night goes on and Cardan is lead away to team up with some of my friends in beer pong. I find Locke staring at me as Taryn dances around the fire with others. Walking slowly and with purpose towards him, Locke smiles in a such a throw away manner that it makes my hands itch.

"Even though you seem calm, I can see the violence in your eyes. It's a popular opinion that you have some talent with a stick. Surely Cardan is impressed."

I lean against a tree and we watch my sister have her fun and the prince celebrate at his victory. Standing beside him I turn and say in a calm voice.

"You may drop your hints and double entendres here and there. But I can assure you, as you may well know, my father forges weapons for a living. Thanks to my athletic prowess, my mother has been able to teach me easily the way of the sword. Of what arteries are the most vulnerable and how to sheath a dagger swiftly into your chest with as minimum effort possible." I press a hand on his ribs and he backs up frightened. "If I were to strike right there, with the right amount of length of a blade. Your lungs would be punctured and you would choke on your very blood. Nasty way to die, especially for such silly games." I tuck my hands into my pockets and watch my loved ones in amusement.

Locke's hands tremble at his sides, he runs a shaky hand through his hair as I warn him to take care of Taryn and ensure she has a good time. And then to both of our surprise, I heed him against hurting Cardan ever again too. I slap his back and walk away. Cardan is so busy having fun that he doesn't notice the way his friend nervously joins my sister. I sit up against the tree to watch the everyone, Collin joins and asks to join me.

"You scared the shit out of that red head. He won't even look at you." He remarks taking my silence as a yes. It isnt but this technically is his land.

Before we had dated we were friends. Collin had always had crush on me and I had to admit I was attracted to him too. And yet, we could never understand one another. We had always wanted different things. He wanted the predictable and I wanted more. More of life, challenge and adventure.

"You know, you probably think we broke up because I was jealous of you for getting an acceptance letter when I didn't. But the truth is, I always knew you were going to outgrow me."

I look up in surprise and he shakes his head before I can protest. "You have always had this...hunger. This ambition. Not like materialistic or anything like that. You were never satisfied with this." Collin sweeps a hand but it doesn't feel like he's talking about the party or high school. But something more. "I can't explain it. I just know you're meant for more. And I couldn't stand in your way. " he moves as if he's going to leave.

I ask him to wait and he does for a beat, "You were never in my way." Collin opens his mouth, theres a hopeful expression but I stop him, "Regardless I was going to do those things anyway. But thank you for making it easier for me to say goodbye."

All those moments we shared are gone, Collin looks hurt at my words. I'm thankful for what we had but I'm even more thankful that he ended things when he did. Because they had long been over for me.

No ones watching, the noise of the party is almost deafening to my ears when Collin leans into kiss me. I put my hands up in protest, but its quicker before it's over. Collin tells me he loves me and then finally leaves me alone. My heart aches a little as his figure gets further and further away. I almost jump out of my skin when I hear Cardan's clipped voice behind me. I see a bottle of red in his hands and I wonder where must've gotten it when all I see are beer or boxed wine.

"It was hard to watch that. I couldn't stop myself from over hearing it. I mean I could but I found that I didn't want to." Cardan stares down at me as he leans against the tree. He tips the bottle back swiftly.

"How did you open that without a corkscrew? "

"Do you really want me to answer that or do you want to know how much I heard?"

Cardan and I eye each other, the air between us is full of tension. I sigh and get up to brush off the back of my jeans. When he doesn't say anything, I push my hair out of my face exposing the side my throat that Collin had been observing. The one that may or may not have a kiss mark from Cardan.

"Do you love him?"

My eyebrows raise in surprise but I answer truthfully," In my own way I thought I did. But the more I think about what our relationship..." I sigh and feel tears almost prick my eyes. "I did. But not anymore. The person I was then is the same person I am now. We wanted different things and if we continued on, it would only be holding off the inevitable."

We can't look away from one another. Cardan asks if we had wanted the same things, would that make any difference? I shake my head, no it wouldn't make a difference. Then he asks about my feelings toward him and I counter him with the same question. There in the forest we stand at odds with one another, guarded only with words but fighting viciously with feelings.

Cardan seems as if he's about to leave but instead he only places, unsure of how to phrase what he wants to say. "I've watched you for months now. Yes, it sounds dangerous and strange what I'm about to say. My intent was not to find anyone like you or feel the way I do. I had a mission and a purpose to be out there. I cannot tell you what it is at this time but please know that when I came upon you that day out in the woods." His words are fumbling together and he's gesturing with the wine, unable to look me in the eyes this time. "I found myself. At odds."

Cardan sighs before continuing, "I am not sure what it is that I feel for you Jude but its bounding on the obsession. I cannot sleep without thoughts of you nor can I focus upon anything else."

My heart seems to thunder in my ears, I feel like how others describe a car accident. Everything slows and you start to focus on every detail. The sounds of the party seem almost distant and it is only then that I feel very alone with him.

Cardan puts a little distance between us, almost as if hes afraid. Afraid of me, as if I was bewitch him if he came closer. His gaze stays fixed on the bottle in his hand.

"Is it because I'm a mortal? Kind of like a forbidden fruit." My shoulders rise up into a small shrug but Cardan doesn't say anything.

"I'm terrified." I admit and he finally looks up. I nod embarrased, " at first I thought it was a hormonal thing, or whatever. But I cant explain it. What I feel is overwhelming and maddening. I'm afraid that it will consume me."

" As am I." Cardan presses up against the tree and pulls the hat over his eyes. "I can't even look at you without feeling nervous."

With that I laugh and he begins to smile. Everyone is having an amazing time and here we are having a heart to heart.

"What should we do? Should we stay away from one another?"

"Why would we do that?"

Focusing in the flames. Which seem to be dying down, "Because from the sounds of it,whatever is going between us is unhealthy. It sounds like an unruly fire that will endanger and consume us."

"You're right, " he admits. "Perhaps we should."

"Do you want to do that?"

He answers too quickly, "No. Of course not."

"Then what?" I hear someone call my name. The fire is gone and all there is darkness and smoke. A few lights probably from phones, are guiding others back to their cars. "We should go."

Cardan doesn't move. With a sigh and heavy heart I start to return.

"Jude, wait." Cardan grabs my hand and he leads me out of the trees without the aid of light.

As we get in the Katie's car everyone is eerily quiet. Cardan asks Katie if he can walk me the rest of the way home. She points out that its dark but doesn't stop us. Waving goodbye, we walk down the very dark and incredibly spooky road to my house. I take this time to say what I want to say.

"Jude-"

"Cardan-"

We both start and I have to feel around in the dark for him. He presses my hands to his face, then his lips into my palm and fingertips. We promise to keep seeing one another. I make him promise to keep his word. And he makes me promise to see no one else. Narrowing my eyes in the dark, I point out that its physically impossible to see others.

"Jude, do not jest. You know exactly what I mean."

"No I don't. Say it exactly what you mean." I've caught on to his kinds ways. They can't lie but they can keep carefully worded promises.

"Jude. Jude. Jude." He prays, pushing my hair back, tipping my head as if to kiss me.

"Ah ah, Cardan. Say it."

"I, Cardan Greenbrier promise to formally court and stay true to Jude Duarte." On my tip toes, I'm about to seal the deal until--"Ah ah. Now you say it."

And I do. There in the dark I promise to be his girlfriend in so many words. He presses me to add that I should entertain no other offers of courtship, no matter how tempting. He has me say that word for word before finally giving into my kisses. We sneak in through my window, as quiet as can be.

We doze off until the sun rises. I practically push him out the window until he puts his hands up in protest.

"Do you really think your parents would mind if I stayed and joined them for breakfast?"

That earns a well earned glare.

"What if I told them I was a prince?" That earns a shoulder smack."Ow! A simple no would work fine."

Cardan, pulls off his ring and places it on my finger.

"What's this?" I ask as he half hangs out the window.

"This? Proof of my favor of course."

I tell him to wait a moment and I grab my cap with my name on it. "There, now you have proof of mine." With a quick peck we vow to see each other later. I watch his retreating figure narrowingly miss my dad on his way to his forget. Until I see him disappear into the trees, I finally crawl into bed. Lapsing into dreamless sleep until my prince comes to visit me again and I can show him the rest of my kingdom. It's only a matter of time when he shows his.

#tcp fic #tcp fanfic #twk fanfic #twk fic #jurdan #jude x cardan #cardan x jude #jude duarte #prince cardan #king cardan #cardanandjude #queen jude #cardan greenbriar

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biopsychs · 6 years

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What I Learned From University (2nd Year)

See what I learned in first year here

Adjust how you study → I have a different study method for each class. Even if the content is similar to another class or you’ve had the prof before, you have to personalize your learning.

You can skip class sometimes → My introductory microbiology class was the worst class I’ve ever taken and I love microbiology. The prof sucked and I found I could just catch up on notes on the bus and have extra time to sleep in. I rarely skip class but I realized my time was much better spent working on other things. Only skip classes if catching up on notes is more efficient/a better use of your time than actually going to lectures. Also, don’t be afraid to take a day off (when you can) if your mental or physical health is suffering.

Group projects suck → I knew this already but nothing could have prepared me for what I had to deal with in my one semester long research methods class. I wish I had talked to my TA or prof earlier to explain what was going on and how I could fix it. (Side note: Use Google docs for group projects!)

Mentoring programs are a great thing to be involved in → I got involved with a mentoring program for women in stem at my university and it has been such a valuable experience! I have access and connections to upper year students and women working in academia and industry who are there to provide help and guidance. My only regret is that I was too timid to ask for help at the start -- take advantage of the opportunities you have!

Get larger projects like reports and essays done as soon as you get them → My organic chemistry lab reports always took so long to write so I would delay working on them. However, I eventually got into a routine of finishing my lab report (or at least 95% of my report) on weekends (my labs were on Fridays) and it made my life so much easier! Just get it done and you won’t have the looming stress of a big project or report hanging over you.

Go to social events on and off campus → You can be social in so many different ways at university! Find something you’re comfortable with or go just outside your comfort zone. I went to a pizza party for psych majors and it was chill. I also went to a pubcrawl and it was so much fun. If you’re hesitant, drag a friend along the first time but make sure you talk to new people!

Apply for summer jobs early → Lots of good summer jobs for university students are posted early! I check my university’s job board and also look for jobs that are meant for students (where I live the government will provide funding for summer students to certain organizations). Make sure you send in your applications in as soon as possible too! Even if the deadline to apply is in two weeks, some places will get in touch with applicants (and could potentially hire someone) before that deadline. Find out if your uni has a career advising office (or something like that) and check it out, if you need help with resumes, cover letters, interviews, etc.

Leave your options open → If you’re unsure about your major or career path, leave your options open as much as you can! Use the time you have now to explore what you really like. Last year I made the decision to do a double major in biology and psychology, because I wanted to go to med school but also wanted to leave the option of research (in bio or psych) open. Now, I’ve decided to major in psych and minor in bio, with the intent to pursue clinical psychology. I took classes and got research experience that helped me make an informed decision about what I really like and want to do.

Get involved in research and use your connections → Get research experience as early as possible. This will help you figure out if you actually want to pursue research or not, and will be so helpful with applications if you end in a position where you’re doing your own research! I have found it much easier to get involved with research by having connections (like talking to a prof, grad student, or upper year undergrad student who is already involved with a lab) rather than sending out cold emails to profs and hoping they’ll reply. If you are sending an email to a prof/lab you don’t have any connections to, make sure your personalize it -- mention any prior experience you have and why you’re interested in that lab specifically.

Check your email constantly → As a general rule, you can never check your email too much. Make an effort to reply to emails as soon as you get them, because otherwise you might forget about them. In general, reply to emails within 24 hours anyways.

Take a summer class → I took a summer class on the psychology of motivation and it was totally worth it. I knew I would have to take a summer class at one point and I knew I would prefer to do it earlier in my degree (taking a summer class in my last year does not sound like fun). It was refreshing to see how well I could do when one class was my only priority and I was able to learn/retain the content so much better. It was also nice that I was able to take an upper level course (my previous psych courses had been only 1st or 2nd year level) by itself so I could get used to the increased demands. One thing to note is that summer classes go by really quickly (in my case 3 lectures were equivalent to 3 weeks of classes) so make sure you’re keeping up with the material.

Find your optimal level of stress → One thing I learned in my motivation class is that we all have an optimal level of stress. Think of it as an inverted U shape, with performance on the y axis and stress on the x axis. The highest point, the top of the U, is your optimal level of stress, where stress is helping you perform to the best of your ability. If you move past that point (either less stress or more stress) your performance is going to decrease. If your stress levels are high and anxiety-causing your performance is going to suffer. I found my optimal level of stress when I was studying for my first motivation midterm -- I was cramming the night before but because I had no other pressing responsibilities (like 4 other classes) I was able to feel stressed without feeling panic or test anxiety also. Find your optimal level of stress and see how well you perform. Remember that feeling when your stress levels are rising so you have a baseline to get back to.

Don’t get stuck as “premed” → Being premed is completely okay but don’t close yourself off from other options. I know so many people who are premeds and are also biochemistry majors. Some of these people don’t even like biochemistry but stick with it because they think it will make their application look better. Please study something you’re actually interested in. Med school is a great option but just make sure you have a plan B (and a degree that is going to suit this plan B). I know someone who graduated with their biochemistry degree and regretted it -- by the end of their degree, their plan was no longer med school and they wished they had done a general biology degree, w classes they liked, while taking a few biochem classes they liked. I used to consider myself premed but I realized clinical psychology is a much better fit for what I actually like/am good at. Just make sure you want to be a doctor for the right reasons is all I’m saying.

Morning classes are actually kind of okay → Everyone talks about how bad morning classes are, but I actually prefer them. I have a hard time paying attention in later classes and it’s really nice to have all my classes done by mid-day. Just make sure you keep a regular sleep schedule (i.e. try to go to bed/ wake up at reasonably early times so your body can recover better on the nights where you get less sleep)

Always come prepared → This applies for so many things. Bring a snack, don’t forget your charger, do your readings. You’re never going to regret being prepared but you may regret not being prepared.

Be ready to register for classes → Know your time and date to register for classes and be ready to click register right at that time! I always make multiple schedules b/c often the lab times or classes I want to take are full. If a class is full, make sure you know what to do. Register on the waitlist. If there isn’t a waitlist, find out who you need to talk to (usually the prof or department head). Check back a few times a week to see if spots open up in classes, because a lot of people change their schedule. Don’t wait to talk to an academic advisor if you’re not sure which classes to take or have any concerns.

Quizlet is a blessing → Quizlet is an app/website that lets you make flashcards and view other people’s flashcard sets. Study flashcards while you’re waiting in line for coffee or on the bus. You may also be able to find flashcards from people who took the same class as you -- use those! If you make your own flashcards be a nice person and share them with your friends :)

A bad grade is not the end of the world → In one class I got 35% on my first midterm and never managed to get a midterm grade higher than 68%. I was absolutely destroyed when I saw that mark on my first midterm and was ready to give up. Please don’t give up! I talked to my prof and was able to have my other midterms weighted more and I used my lab reports to bring my mark up. If you show your profs you’re working hard they’ll do what they can to help you out. It’s really easy to feel like your hard work is not making a difference, especially if you’re continually not getting the results you want -- this doesn’t mean you should stop working hard, it just means you may have to study differently, review material daily, and ask for help! If you fail you need to remember that you will have to work harder -- you have to keep up with the new material and relearn the old material. I wasn’t overly happy when I saw my final grade in the aforementioned class but, when I compared it to my first midterm and my feelings of utter confusion, I was satisfied with my grade because it showed my progress and improvement (and I also used it to motivate me to never let it happen again).

Realize that everyone is at university for different reasons → Some people have big goals, some people are still figuring it out, and some people just want to get their degree as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with being any of the above, just don’t expect everyone to have the same goals as you.

Know the deadlines for dropping courses → Even if you don’t think you’ll be dropping or changing any courses, write the dates down in your planner. My friend waited a few days too long to drop a math class that turned out to be extremely difficult and, even though she passed it in the end, she was stressed out all semester and her performance in other classes suffered as a result.

You’ll always be meeting new people and making friends → I lived off campus first year and felt like I had missed my chance to make friends. I shouldn’t have worried so much. Second year was much better in that there were a lot more familiar faces in my classes and I got to know other people much better through smaller classes and labs! Other people are always happy to make friends so just take the first step by starting a conversation :)

You can’t give 100% all the time → Some of the best advice that I was given this year was that you can’t give 100% all the time. You only have so much time and energy (mental and physical) you can give. For some tasks, the outcome from 70% effort and 100% effort may not be too different. Figure out what tasks those are so that you have enough energy to give 100% when you really need it.

#studyblr #university #studyquill #elkstudies #intellectys #etudiance #studyplants #studybuzz #briellestudies #mine

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gaelstudies-blog · 5 years

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As I’m going into my third year at a London University, I realised that there isn’t a lot of advice on here that is geared towards UK university life. So I’ve decided to put together some of my top tips, with a particular emphasis on how UK universities operate. If you have any questions don’t be afraid to send me a message!

1. Beware of fake freshers events

This is a big one that I see people fall for time and time again. They’ll see people enter freshers groups promising a fantastic club night, that you have to buy a separate wristband / ticket for. They’ll continually post about how it’s almost sold out, and show off videos etc of times before. These events are usually fake events, and a lot of the people promoting these are fake too. They use fake promotional videos, some of which is from other events in different parts of the UK. Some of them go to different universities and pretend to be a new student that’s just heard about this fantastic event, some of them don’t go to university at all, some of them manage the club night. They get paid a commission for every ticket they sell, which is why they try and encourage as many people to go as possible. A lot of these events will be so much quieter than official Freshers events, and some of them can be a lot more expensive too. Try and stick to official Freshers events for your university. Some of them are straight up scam websites too, which can steal your card details. Really do your research if you’re looking to do an unofficial Freshers event.

2. You don’t need to go out clubbing to make friends

I didn’t particularly go out clubbing during Freshers because my flatmates weren’t interested in clubbing, and I hadn’t really met any of my classmates to go out with them. I was still able to engage with people during introductory week, there were a lot of daytime activities at different student halls and at different campuses. If you don’t mind being around alcohol, don’t be afraid of just hanging about with your flatmates while they predrink to go to a club. This can be a great way of meeting people, bonding with your flatmates, and also not putting yourself in a situation that you don’t want to be. Don’t force yourself to spend money to go out clubbing if you know you’ll hate it. But likewise, don’t be afraid of giving it a go and leaving early if it’s not for you.

3. You don’t need to take drugs to make friends

I’ve seen people talk about how they were worried that when they joined university they’d be left out because they didn’t do drugs. This is absolutely not the case. Like yes, there will be people around you doing drugs. And you absolutely should try as best as you can to be careful around them. But don’t feel like you have to take drugs to fit in. Because you can make plenty of friends without them. And if people are pressuring you into doing drugs, then they’re not the kind of people you want to associate with. Chances are they’re pressuring you into drugs not because they think it’ll be fun for you, but because they think it’ll be funny to laugh at your reaction. These people won’t care about your safety, and they won’t care to know the real you.

4. Be prepared for Freshers Fayre!

Missing out on Freshers Fayre isn’t the end of the world, but it’s definitely something you shouldn’t miss if you can help it. But do be careful that sometimes these place can be very busy. Do some research before you go, so you can focus on visiting societies that you’re interested in learning more about. Typically your university will have a student union website where you can see all the societies on offer. Make a note of which ones catch your eye and any questions you have for them. Also, some of these societies you’ll have to follow up with. Although some of them might take your email, they might not send you an email out with more information. So don’t be scared to send them an email as a follow up to ask about upcoming events.

5. Don’t join every society at once

At some universities, joining societies can cost money. Which whilst it might only be £2 there and £2 here, it can definitely add up. And it can be a waste of money if you’ve never done anything with the society. Try and be realistic. Remember, you have classes, you have assignments, you might have a part time job to work. Think about how much time that’s going to leave you for a society and try to pick just 1 or 2 at the start. As the year goes on don’t be afraid to add more or drop some societies. And don’t just join societies because your friends are. Join them because you’re genuinely interested in it and you want to meet people with a similar interest.

6. Get set up with your doctor as soon as you can

Don’t leave it until you’re really ill to get set up with your doctor. Make sure that you know where your local doctor is, make sure you’re registered with them. Be sure to ask any questions that can be useful. Home students can also fill out a form which can entitle them to free healthcare. So try and get that set up as early as possible, because you don’t want to have to pay for any medication you need from the doctors further down the line because you haven’t sent in the form in time.

7. Find out about your mental health support as soon as you can

A lot of students with mental health issues don’t get support because they don’t know what support they can get from the university. Which is why it is so so important to do your research. Look on the university website and the student union website and find out what kind of mental health support is available to you. Don’t be afraid of trying to meet up with them to ask questions and advice. Beware that student counselling waitlists can be extremely long, so get in there early if you feel that counselling can benefit you or look into private options. Make use of all the support you can get, they are there for you and want to help you. It can be scary, but it’ll be so worthwhile to do.

8. Don’t be scared of going to events alone

Note: it’s not a good idea to go to clubs by yourself, for one a lot of them will not let you in on your own and two it can be extremely unsafe. This is aimed at day events / non-clubbing/drinking vents.

I made the mistake of missing out on a bunch of events at first because I didn’t have anyone to go with. My flatmates weren’t interested in hanging around with each other, and I didn’t know any of my classmates yet to be able to hang with them. But I eventually plucked up the courage to go to a day event by myself and had a great laugh. It can be extremely daunting, but there will also be other people in the exact same situation. Pretty much everyone just wants to make friends, and they’re not going to judge you for looking lonely.

9. Don’t worry about everyone around you ‘having friends already’

It can sometimes appear like everyone around you has a bunch of friends already. Some of them even do, some of them have came with siblings or friends from home. But here’s the thing, people don’t really limit the number of friends they have, and appearances can be deceiving. Flatmates hanging around because they’re scared of looking lonely aren’t really friends, and chances are they won’t speak to each other when they do make friends. But you can make friends with people no matter what point of the year it is. There’s going to be so many opportunities, so don’t feel bad about not suddenly having a group of friends on the first day. Because nobody will, you’ll just have people that you’re hanging around with. And yes, that can be lonely but it doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way forever.

10. The friends you make at Freshers aren’t always going to be your actual friends

It can seem really easy to think that the people you’ve went out clubbing for a week or so are your new found best mates. But here’s the thing, that friendship was likely built around a shared love of alcohol and not wanting to be lonely. Which, whilst it can be a great way of meeting people, it doesn’t make for a great friendship. If people are only interested in hanging out with you when they want to drink alcohol, then don’t be afraid of telling them no and meeting people that want to be your friend regardless of whether alcohol or clubs is involved. Because if they’re only interested in clubbing with you, they’re not going to be there for you when you’re overwhelmed by uni work and don’t have as much time to go out clubbing. It sucks to think about, but just know it’s not a reflection on you. This happens to everyone. People think they get along great with someone until they realise they were only worried about being lonely. Chances are you might be like that to someone else. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but don’t force yourself to hang out with shitty people just because you don’t want to be lonely

11. Now is a great time to try and organise yourself

This period of university is where your work is likely to not be so overwhelming. Now is a great time to get yourself a routine in place. Organise and structure your time, and yes look into how you can fit future studying in place. Go to introductory classes that will tell you about the university - don’t just avoid them because they seem boring or because you’re too hungover. These can be a great way of finding out more about your university that you wouldn’t have found out otherwise, and it can be a great way of meeting people in a calmer environment. Going to these can be great for working out what time you’ll need to leave in order to get to classes on time, and it can be a great way of getting to know the layout of your university and ask lots of questions.

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