you get used to it, but it's tiring, because they need you to understand your own life as a series of goalposts. what college are you going to, what's your major going to be, whatcha gonna do with that, oh where will you settle down, when can i expect grandkids.
for the longest time my goals have been so blurry that they track into each other, their undefined edges slipping quietly back into the soft night. today i want to be a writer; tomorrow i will want to be a doctor, later i will wish i took that law school free ride. how the fuck do people just know what they want to do with their life?
where do you want to be in five years? i want to be alive; which is a huge step for me. ten years ago i would have said i want to be asleep and meant i hope that i'm dead by then.
but i want a yellow kitchen and a stand mixer. i want a garden and a fruit tree (cherry, if i can make that happen) and a big yard for my dogs to play in. i want to come home and read poetry out loud to someone and have them close their eyes to listen. i want a summer watergun fight. i want to make snowmen. i want to be the house to go to for halloween. i want my life to settle around me in a softness, for it to lay down gently. if i am very, very, very lucky, i want to travel; finally go someplace overseas.
of course i don't know what i want to be doing professionally. what i actually want to be doing is curling up beside my dog, settling in to read. i want to be making myself a cup of good coffee.
i can't answer the other questions. whenever people asked me what do you want to be when you grow up, i used to say i hope i'm happy.
i hope i'm still kind, five years from now. i hope i never get jaded and mean. i hope i have stayed in therapy. what do you picture yourself doing? when will you actually be an adult about this? why are you so afraid of being ambitious?
am i not ambitious? the other day i rearranged my furniture which doesn't quite fit into my apartment. i watered my plants. i'm going to try to propagate a cherry seed. my five year goal is to spend more time laughing. to lie down in a patch of sunwarm moss. to relax for a minute. to close my eyes and think oh thank god. this is why i stayed. this is finally it.
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Fake Armand enjoyers trying to excuse what he did when real gremlin Armand lovers know one of the best parts about Armand is that he's a fucked up scheming devil beneath his "woe is me" doe eyes, who enjoys fine art in all forms as much as he finds deep delight in stalking someone nearly to madess while threatening to murder them if they bore him, falling in love in the midst of psychological torture once he discovers the most fascinating side of his prey, a nuclear warhead who has always wanted to be loved with his more dark and ugly sides included and not only for his beautiful Botticelli's angel exterior. The real Armand is finally coming out after decades of hiding behind the mask he thought he had to construct around himself.
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I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.
Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.
The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.
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"It's you, you know? It's not the sea, it's not the sun. It's you. You are my favourite part of the summer. It has always been you."
🏖️
Even if if took me DAYS, I'm thrilled to say that I finally finished it. Thank you so much for trusting the process yet again with me, for being such patients sweet lovely little things.
Thank you so, so much.
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be more chill enjoyers will go "this is my favorite character, rich goranski!!!!" and show you this picture
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N2 Floyd in the first movie
Sad little man got himself captured :(
He also gets punched in the face, but that's neither here nor there lmao
Also sorry for not posting for a fat minute I've been busy XD
Bonus: What John and Branch be doing
RIP in pieces John Dory, you were a brave troll and will be missed
I've got some more doodles of them going through it in the first movie, maybe we will see them soon teehee .
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Y'all. This took so long. Crochet Eternatus.
The design is so unnecessarily detailed. Like it wasn't complex or hard to do, but just so so tedious. 17 top and bottom spines(?), plus a rib cage with 10 more spine things, 2 3-forked arms with 8-segmented tendrils at the shoulder, 2 3-forked legs, "mask" with 5 top and bottom ridges...
Like the whole thing is just bones!! So many thin bones on a thin long body!! And it's so long and weird to photograph!!!
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