#the only way to eat banana is covered in peanut butter

[belle-of-a-time]

I had to look up if dogs could have banana because I had a PB& banana sandwich and my dog gets the last bite of crust of any sandwich I eat because I love her and…

[ID: safari search result reads “can dogs eat bananas? Are bananas good for dogs?… If you’ve ever asked “can dogs eat bananas?” The answer is yes. Banana…” end ID]

Why so many words just to say Yeh bro dogs can have a bananer hoo-rah!

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Myrízei (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- Myrí by Kópros

The Little Alchemist by Hermes

The Nerd Wonder by Prophasis

Stinkbug by Caerus

Age- 8 (immortal)

Location- Hearthwood neighborhood, New Olympus

Personality- A very intelligent and inquisitive young man, he's far more mature beyond his years. He can out-do most beings in anything science & math related. He views his intelligence as his greatest power, but can also be arrogant, unsympathetic to other beings' feelings, and a bit of a know-it-all.

He has the standard abilities of a god except shapeshifting. As the god of smell & gases his other powers/abilities include having an enhanced smell, flight (by way of vapor emission), atmospheric adaptation, miasmakinesis (gas manipulation), temporary sneezing inducement, bodily gas manipulation, being able to communicate with stinky animals (like skunks, hoatzins, etc...), temporary anosmia inducement (loss of smell), his "sonic sneeze," his "stench storm" (emitting a horrible smellling poisonous vapor from his mouth & nose), and being able to emit a terrible stench from his body when threatened or experiencing heightened negative emotions.

Myrízei is the only child of his father Kópros (god of manure & excrement).

The two of them live in a cottage in the Hearthwood neighborhood of New Olympus. The thermostat is always kept at a cool, not cold setting. Contrary to popular belief, the abode is very clean. Myrízei's room is immaculately spotless and organized. The walls are painted black, pastel blue, white, & green while also being covered in various scientific posters. There's a GIANT poster of the periodic table on the ceiling. The floor is covered in blue carpeting as well as a bookshelf that contains his board game collection, various science textbooks, & other books.

He has a few pets- a blue tongued skink named Argon, a leopard gecko named Beaker, three bombardier beetles named Vector, Neutron, & Atom, as well as two millipedes named Millie and Miles. There's more pets he wants to get in the future.

A go-to drink for him is white grape juice. He also likes seltzer water, ginger iced tea, apple juice, ginger ale, coconut milk, & his dad's homemade orange carrot ginger smoothies. Myrízei likes drinking the smoothie with the crazy shaped glass straws he made himself.

Two of his favorite things to eat for breakfast is a bowl of Earthly Harvest multi grain flakes (topped with sliced bananas) or a hot bowl of steel cut oats topped with dark chocolate chips & a little bit of maple syrup. If his dad makes eggs, Myrízei likes them dry and scrambled.

It's not known definitively, but it's been said that his IQ score is between 200 to 250. He knows the IQ score of Athena (goddess of wisdom), which is past 400.

Myrízei is very sensitive to strong smells, hating the majority of perfumes and colognes. When he bathes, he loves using the Pure Clean Co. gentle unscented body wash.

He loves snacking on raisins, figs, dates, bananas, & apples.

Myrízei loves his dad and the two of them are very close. More often than not afterschool, he's at his father's doctor's office downtown. He appreciates the fact that his dad is supportive in his interest in science, but also feels like he's holding him back from it. Kópros rejected the idea of having Myrízei enroll in University in just a couple of years when it was brought up during a meeting with his science teacher & the school's principal.

He sometimes wishes that he was a student at Athenium Academy (which is more academically rigorous & challenging) instead of the private elementary school he's currently enrolled in.

Myrízei's school lunch is always the same without fail, made by his dad. It consists of a peanut butter & fig jam sandwich on whole wheat bread (with the crusts cut off), a bottle of ginger iced tea, carrot sticks, saltine crackers, and a small cup of banana yogurt. He does like it when the school has ice cream day in the cafeteria every week, settling for a small bowl of vanilla ice cream topped with toasted pistachios.

His other favorite frozen treat are blueberry popsicles.

Myrízei is currently on break from school. His other godly schoolmates include fellow third graders Hebe (goddess of youth), Prophasis (goddess of excuses), Caerus (god of opportunity & luck), Paidia (goddess of play & amusement), Aceso (goddess of healing), Physis (goddess of nature), & Mneme (goddess of remembrance), a fourth grader Xenia (goddess of hospitality), & the fifth graders Calleis (goddess of allurement), Melete (goddess of thought & meditation), Aidos (goddess of shame, modesty, humility, & respect), Ersa (goddess of morning dew), and Eulabeia (goddess of caution).

A guilty pleasure for him is white mushroom pizza, but with no pizza sauce.

It's common knowledge that Myrízei is probably the smartest kid in the entire school. He doesn't seem to care when the other kids groan when he's quick to answer every question the teacher asks. Myrízei is aware of his bad habit of criticizing & correcting his fellow classmates. He does find Caerus' wisecracks about him annoying.

He once sneezed outside during recess and ended up flying 30 feet in the air!

Myrízei doesn't really have friends, but is friendly toward Xenia, Aceso, Mneme, and Physis. There's also an aurai boy named Scirco that he usually eats lunch with. The two have a lot in common, like their love of science & the fact that they collect trading cards!

He's an exceptional academic student, his favorite class and subject being science. Myrízei adores his science teacher, a harpy named Mr. Thornwing. He likes his teacher's dry sense of humor and the fact that he lets him eat lunch with him sometimes in the classroom along with Scirco. Mr. Thornwing will also give Myrízei university level chemistry and physics worksheets to do for fun or extra credit. When school resumes, he's looking forward to the class trip to Nisyros, to see the state's volcano!

Even though Myrízei doesn't like gym class, he still participates. He hates how sweaty he is afterwards.

In the pantheon he does like Morá (goddess of babies & children) who's often his babysitter. Myrízei liked when she took him to the New Olympus Hall of Science, the largest science and technology museum in the city (with his father's permission). He also admires Hephaestus (god of the forge), Techne (goddess of arts, crafts, & invention), Tithonus (god of insects), as well as Aetna (goddess of volcanoes); is a huge fan of her earth science TV show Kólasi! It's been set up that Myrízei's official mentor will be Diochetévo (goddess of sewers, garbage, & waste). He does miss his dad's ex-girlfriend Aegle (goddess of good health). Myrízei really liked the book of science puns she got him as a gift.

He really enjoy himself with his dad when they went to a football (soccer) game in the city. They sat high on the stands eating bags of spiced olives & gyro hot dogs topped with sauerkraut. Myrízei and Kópros made each other laugh with a burping contest on the way home.

In his free time he enjoys watching TV (mainly cartoons & science documentaries), chess, drawing, working on various chemistry projects, reading, bike riding, and gardening.

His all time favorite meal is brown rice with roasted brussel sprouts & kale.

"Chemsitry is the language of matter, and we as scientists, are the storytellers."

[adoinvoke]

Second Week of November Eating <3

November 8-14. I went to a party on Friday and ate SO MUCH, and that energy carried into Saturday where I ate a lot at Shabbat lunch. I'm 132 right now and my goal was to be 130 by Thanksgiving and I should make it if I don't binge between now and then!

Wed: 834 calories pumpkin bar - 130 ravioli and chicken breast salad - 666 milky way mini - 38

Thurs: 973 calories chocolate - 191 miso soup and carrots - 196 wine - 586 (wine moms drink their calories fr)

Fri: 1,510 :( calories grapes, raspberries, strawberries, tortilla chips, potato chips, chocolate covered pretzels, hummus, and guac - all around 885 quesadilla - 626

Sat: 1,392 :( calories cauliflower, garbanzo bean salad, baked ziti, potatos, rugelach, and gummy candies - all around 1,139 miracle noodle pho - 68 chocolate, cheese stick, and miso soup - 185

Sun: 881 calories apple and coffee - 194 salad and ravioli - 194 spicy salmon with seaweed, ravioli - 312 (I only ate half the spicy salmon bc mayo lite is so gross) yogurt, cucumber with everything bagel seasoning - 181

Mon: 797 calories Banana date coffee and potato bureka - 655 miso soup and apple sauce - 85 peanut butter filled pretzels - 57

Tues: 663 calories Pumpkin bar and pb pretzels - 177 salad and ravioli - 293 Protein powder - 56 cucumber with everything bagel seasoning and miso soup - 127

[peternew-blog]

Somebody Hide That Guy’s Food

Those of you who know me, know I’m a bit portly. Those of you who’ve seen me likely also know this, though I’m often told, “oh you’re not fat” or “you carry it well” or some other platitude designed to make me feel better about it, as though being portly is something I couldn’t possibly control if I had a mind to. Because of course I could. 

Couldn’t I?

I suppose I don’t think of it as a problem. Not really. I’m comfortable. I so far don’t have many of the negative health effects associated with lifelong obesity, but that is the diagnosis. Morbidly. 

I think if I did think of it as a problem, the evidence for how to solve it is well documented. Eat less and do more. No fad diet, no quick fix, just burn more calories than you consume and presto change-o you're skinny like a cobweb, though I suppose not as dusty, cause of all the moving. And it’s not really presto change-o either, is it, because it’ll take a couple years, and then I have to keep eating less and moving more if I want to maintain my sexy cobwebby physique. 

Ok no more cobweb-as-metaphor. Don’t let me. 

The problem, as it were, is not that I don’t like being fat. It’s ok, really. I’m not weak, I’m not super tired all the time (well I am, but that’s stress, not lard - a subject for another day). The problem is that I really like to sit. And I really like to eat. And if I want to do those things, guess what? I get tubby. I know because I’ve been not-tubby before, and between terms of tubbiness, senator skinny jeans has been elected. 

Sorry. I don’t know. Trying to keep it interesting I guess. 

But recently, much as I enjoy it, I have been realizing that maybe - just maybe - I eat too much. 

Like I don't want to be a calorie counter. I’ve tried it and there’s nothing worse. It’s a one way ticket to making me feel bad about every morsel of joy I can squeeze out of a quarter teaspoon of peanut butter. Or making me feel depressed that the only things I can eat in unlimited quantities are lettuce, and apparently, mustard. Joyless and Grainy, the two missing Smurfs.

It doesn’t apparently matter particularly what one eats, over the long term. Maintaining a healthy body weight is contingent on moderation over elimination. In other words I can eat a bowl of ice cream, just not daily, not twice daily, and probably not with sprinkles, a half-litre of chocolate sauce and a banana to make me feel healthy while I sup.

But I needn’t eliminate the occasional banana split. Just work around it. Move more, eat less besides it. As long as I’m getting my daily balance, no banana split can possibly sabotage any overall progress on its own. So what’s my deal? Why am I stuck never fitting into any of the pants at the Simon’s. Why do I only feel full when I’m absolutely stuffed? Why is the hors d’oeuvre table afraid of me?

In short: why do I eat? 

Well because I’m hungry, obviously. That’s reason number one. But the chubbier I get, the hungrier I feel. I can’t always tell the hunger from the gas, and boy do I have gas with all the food I eat. It’s self fulfilling. I feel a hole made by my own methane and fill it with snacks, producing more farts. I don’t need these snacks. So I try to only eat when my tummy growls at me. But that’s not enough.

I eat when I’m thirsty.

What the hell is this about? My brain seems to know I need to ingest something, but rather than the useful and calorie-free glass of water I’m actually craving, it’ll tell me to have a handful of chocolate covered almonds. When that doesn’t satisfy me, it’ll say, maybe that wasn’t enough almonds, so I have more. I don’t keep them in the house anymore. It’s defeating and it makes me feel kinda stupid, so I sit down and tell myself not to get any more of them. But then I get bored and it’s all I can think about. Also:

I eat because I’m bored.

So often I’ll find myself pacing back into the tempting zone around where the snacks live. Other people call it the ‘kitchen’ so I’ve heard. I have come to think of it as a bizarre trap full of food I don’t want and also full of food I do want, except the food I do want is usually food I don’t want and the food I don’t want is the food I really do want if I think about it for even a half-second. Think pop tart vs. arugula and you’re with me. Speaking of with me....

I eat because I’m alone.

It feels like I’m getting away with something. Nobody I live with cares one jot what I eat or when. But if they’re all out? Man I can slay a peanut butter sandwich with honey and cheese with no shame or guilt! 

I eat because I feel guilt and shame and stress and socially awkward (remember the fear I strike in the tasty core of the amuses bouches!). 

I eat because I’m sad.

I eat because it feels like love to me.

A year or so ago, we did an April fool’s gag on my daughter. One of those cling wrap on the bedroom door things. We shot the video attached, of me setting the trap and then of her coming out of her room and face-firsting into it. She was confused, then took it like a champ and we all laughed and went on with our day.

We posted the video and a bunch of people chuckled at it and liked it or whatever, but the one comment that sticks in my craw - and I mean sticks - is some stranger’s only input was to say, “somebody hide that guy’s food!”

I am not proud to say how hurt I was. I am. 

I think about it every damn day.

What I’ve described to you is an eating disorder. And I have it. I cannot control my eating easily, and one cruel comment like that can send me face first into a fucking cake to make myself feel better. 

There are many reasons I’m fat. But I know I’m fat and I needn’t be protected from that fact, nor reminded of it. I suppose I would prefer to be skinnier, to fit into old clothes, to be more versatile when casting directors are seeking an actor - it’s limiting, I know. But the effort isn’t just move more, eat less. It’s not as easy as that. 

It’s finding other ways to feel loved. Other solace for shame and sadness. Training myself to know when to stop, and how much to start with in the first place. It’s daunting, overwhelming, and those emotions drive me back to the love and security I feel in a full belly. I do need to change this, before it makes clear the ways in which it will shorten my life.

But in the meantime, I’m proud of myself for writing this. So I’ll probably go reward myself with a snack.

Or maybe I’m just thirsty.

[food1top]

Top 10 Best Milkshake Recipes

Top 10 Best Milkshake Recipes

Is there any drink more fun and refreshing than an ice cold milkshake? I don’t think so. Milkshakes are a part of American food culture and have spread all over the world. Here’s my list of the best milkshake recipe you can find anywhere. Classic Vanilla Milkshake – Made with vanilla ice cream and vanilla extract. The original “plain” milkshake is still a crowd pleasing favorite. Adding a maraschino cherry on top makes it a little more special.

milkshake recipes you must Old Fashioned Chocolate Milkshake – Made with chocolate or vanilla ice cream (depends on how intense you want the chocolate flavor), milk and chocolate syrup. This is always the second most favorite milkshake flavor. It’s so easy to make and delicious to drink! I Love Strawberries Milkshake – Made with strawberry ice cream, milk, fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Yum! Makes me ravenous for one just thinking about it.

Top 10 Best Milkshake Recipes Purple Cow Milkshake – Made with grape juice, banana and milk. Purple cows are cool (and very rare). This milkshake is a real treat for kids and kids at heart. Chunky Monkey Milkshake – Made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate chips, banana and instant coffee. This milkshake may cause you to spontaneously get up and do the chunky monkey dance. Cherry Vanilla Milkshake – Made with vanilla ice cream, maraschino cherries, milk and chocolate syrup. A chocolate covered cherry in your glass. Shamrock Milkshake – Made with vanilla ice cream, low fat milk, mint extract and green food coloring. Pretty simple milkshake that you can enjoy at home, even though a certain well-known burger place doesn’t make them any more. Chocolate Peanut Butter Milkshake – Made with creamy peanut butter, milk and chocolate syrup. A nice alternative to a peanut butter sandwich. Caramel Latte Milkshake – Made with coffee ice cream, milk and caramel syrup. Just as good or better than any drink at your local coffee or donut shop, plus, you can make this at home anytime you’re in the mood to treat yourself with something extra special. Whoppers Malt Milkshake – Made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate malt syrup and whipped topping. This is the easiest way to make a milkshake that has that old fashioned malt taste. Shake Things Up With Fun Milkshakes Top 10 Best Milkshake Recipes Milkshakes have been around since the old days of drugstore soda fountains. Now days we tend to drink milkshakes mainly when we go out for a bite to eat at a fast food restaurant. Milkshakes are healthy (they contain calcium) and delicious. The most common milkshake flavors are: strawberry, vanilla and chocolate. But you don’t have to wait for your next fast food trip to enjoy a frothy, cold milkshake. Why not whip out your blender and make your own?

Recipe-heath bar ice cream cake Milkshakes are extremely easy to make and only take a minute or two. Kids especially love milkshakes. What a great way to get them to drink more milk. If you’re bored with the regular strawberry, vanilla and chocolate milkshakes, try these mouth-watering variations:

Blueberry Breakfast Milkshake

– with fresh blueberries and apple juice Peanut Butter Cup Milkshake – with peanut butter cups and chocolate syrup Jello Milkshake – with any flavor jello and vanilla ice cream Chocolate Cherry Milkshake – with cherries and chocolate syrup Chunky Monkey Milkshake – with bananas and chocolate chips Vanilla Vision Milkshake – with vanilla pudding

Pumpkin Pie Milkshake

– with canned pumpkin and cinnamon Coffee Fudge Swirl Milkshake – with instant coffee and fudge ripple ice cream Strawberry Orange Milkshake – with fresh strawberries and orange juice Irish Milkshake – with Irish cream liquor

Chocolate Tofu Milkshake

– with bananas, cocoa powder and maple syrup You can find these refreshing cold drink milkshake recipes online with the click of your mouse. So start shaking things up with a fun milkshake today! Milkshakes

Milkshakes are so common in our society that we may not every stop to wonder about how they came to be. They were first introduced in 1885, but very different from what we know today. In fact these early forms of milkshakes contained strong types of alcohol known as whisky. Yet by the 1900’s they had transformed to take on the meaning that we know them as today. There aren’t too many people out there that don’t enjoy the sweet and delicious taste of a milkshake.

They are made from milk,

ice cream, and a variety of different flavors. Some of them are just smooth while others have chunks of fresh fruit into them. They are sometimes garnished with whipped cream and cherries as well. When ice cream parlors were very famous milkshakes were handmade. Today most of them come out of machines and while they taste good, they aren’t the same. Many people prefer to make their own milkshakes at home. It doesn’t take very long to do it. They can also add more or less of what they like to make it exactly how they want it. Some people like their milkshakes with just a bit of flavoring while others like it very sweet. Some people want a thick milkshake while others are annoyed if it won’t easy come out of the straw. One of the biggest issues with milkshakes though is the amount of sugar and fat that are included in them. To appeal to the corner of the market that wants to watch their weight and their health, there are low carb milkshakes and even sugar free ones. There are some locations that use alternative products so those that are lactose intolerant can even enjoy them.

Top 10 Best Milkshake Recipes Some popular restaurants have started to bring back the tradition of these old style milkshakes though. They are taking the time to make them by hand and consumers are delighted. Even though they cost twice as much as other milkshakes offered, they are certainly worth every delicious taste. easy milkshake recipe You will find plenty of flavors to choose from and they make a great treat. In fact, some people are frequenting such restaurants regularly just to enjoy one. Milkshakes are so common in our society that we may not every stop to wonder about how they came to be. They were first introduced in 1885, but very different from what we know today. In fact these early forms of milkshakes contained strong types of alcohol known as whisky. Yet by the 1900’s they had transformed to take on the meaning that we know them as today. There aren’t too many people out there that don’t enjoy the sweet and delicious taste of a milkshake. They are made from milk, ice cream, and a variety of different flavors. Some of them are just smooth while others have chunks of fresh fruit into them. They are sometimes garnished with whipped cream and cherries as well. When ice cream parlors were very famous milkshakes were handmade. Today most of them come out of machines and while they taste good, they aren’t the same. Many people prefer to make their own milkshakes at home. It doesn’t take very long to do it. They can also add more or less of what they like to make it exactly how they want it. Some people like their milkshakes with just a bit of flavoring while others like it very sweet. Some people want a thick milkshake while others are annoyed if it won’t easy come out of the straw. One of the biggest issues with milkshakes though is the amount of sugar and fat that are included in them. To appeal to the corner of the market that wants to watch their weight and their health, there are low carb milkshakes and even sugar free ones. There are some locations that use alternative products so those that are lactose intolerant can even enjoy them. milkshake recipes you must Some popular restaurants have started to bring back the tradition of these old style milkshakes though. They are taking the time to make them by hand and consumers are delighted. Even though they cost twice as much as other milkshakes offered, they are certainly worth every delicious taste. You will find plenty of flavors to choose from and they make a great treat. In fact, some people are frequenting such restaurants regularly just to enjoy one.   unique milkshake recipes,oreo milkshake recipe,milkshake recipe,best milkshake recipe reddit,best milkshake flavors,healthy milkshake recipes,fruit milkshake recipe,crazy milkshake recipesthick milkshake recipe,thick milkshake recipe Read the full article

[runveganwankerrun]

Last day of hols

Mon 2nd Jan '23

To make my life better, I could do with spending less and saving some. It’s not a resolution, but I would like it to become part of my lifestyle, just like going to bed earlier and drinking more water. I managed to restrain myself today from some unnecessary purchases. I came close to buying a Garmin tracker, just a very simple one. It was only because Sweatcoin had an offer, saying “Up to 40% off” but you only found out what the products involved were if you “bought” the offer with some sweat coins. I thought, “Sod it!” and I bought into it. I’d hoped that charging cables would be included in the offer. They weren’t. So this is what I nearly bought instead. Completely unnecessary. All because there was an offer! 

Today’s food was good. Well, good enough. It was my last day off before heading back to work so TGG and I went out for breakfast. I had peanut butter, banana and bagel, with sweet potato fries. Not low in calories, but healthy enough.

TGG and I went for a short walk afterwards, so I felt it mitigated some of the relatively high calorie meal. I also had a club session late, which I intended to attend, so I was even more comfortable with eating out. I made vegetable soup to heat up after club. I vacillated a bit, would I go to club? Would I not bother my arse? In the end I went, and was glad I did. TGG was coaching. It was a 30/20/10 session. 

It’s an intense wee session, and I always forget how tough it is. I thought I might go to just run, do an easy 5k, but when I got there, I decided to give it some effort. It felt good. Today’s exercise below...

Coach got in touch, so he said this week’s sessions are...

1. Hilly Fartlek. 4 miles hilly route, easy on the flats and downs, harder in the ups. No matter how long/short/steep the hill, you attack it.

2. 6 km easy peasy

3. Warm up, then 1km, 800, 600, 400, 200 fast with 200m walk recovery repeated 2 times.

4. 5km (optional) easy

5. Long run 16 - I'm assuming he means km not miles, since Sunday's run was only just over eleven miles. No way that would jump up to sixteen. 16km makes more sense. And it feels good to know I already covered more than that on Sunday.

Sonic asked about the distance I ran yest, said I must be training for something, so I said I was keeping my options open. As good as admitting it, without actually admitting anything.

[itzabouthealth]

Healthy Air Fryer Recipes

1. Banana Bread

One medium banana has 422 mg of potassium, or 8.9% of the Daily Value (DV), making it one of the best ways to satisfy your craving for potassium and comfort food. Banana bread is typically baked in the oven, but using an air fryer to prepare it produces an even softer inside. To maximise healthfulness, choose unsweetened peanut butter, which provides protein, and walnuts for their heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids, as advised by the American Heart Association, in place of sour cream, chocolate chips, and plain Greek yoghurt, according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.

2. Omelets

Omelets are a good choice for almost everyone because they are versatile and a filling way to get all of the beneficial proteins from eggs.

You only need to add your preferred meats or vegetables to the mixture to create an omelet that is both adaptable and simple to prepare. Additionally, an omelet can be prepared in an air fryer.

3. Chicken Tenders

Chicken tenders typically consist of processed rib meat (or worse), which has been deep-fried until any remaining health benefits have been completely drenched in oil. (That oil is excellent.) However, the only oil used in these SkinnyTaste crispy, golden chicken tenders — which are made with chicken breast, eggs, panko, and breadcrumbs — is olive oil spray. This amounts to just over 13 grams of protein and fewer than 100 calories per tender.

4. Air-fried vegetables

Searching for a wholesome dinner? Vegetables that have been air-fried have the best flavour! They are crunchy and go nicely with just about anything. Simply take vegetables like broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, cauliflower, and other types of vegetables. To make them crispy, fry them in butter with a spice mixture. In no time at all, a delicious plate of vegetables is ready.

5. Sweet Potato Fries

Fiber, vitamins, and minerals are abundant in sweet potatoes. Additionally, they are a naturally gluten-free source of carbohydrates. An easy and delectable way to eat more of this underappreciated food is to roast sweet potato wedges in the air fryer.

Try The Spruce Eats’ recipe for air fryer sweet potato fries if you’re craving fries. It delivers side dishes of restaurant calibre right to your kitchen.

Sweet potatoes, olive oil, cornstarch, salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and smoked paprika are the only other seven basic items you’ll need. Sweet potatoes should be peeled, cut into fries, and then covered in the remaining ingredients.

After coating, air fried the sweet potato fries for around 10 minutes. Sweet potato fries will be the ultimate result, and your family and friends will be impressed.

6. Brussels Sprouts

The Spruce Eats’ recipe for air-fried brussels sprouts is the ideal illustration of how tasty this food can be. Although Brussels sprouts frequently receive a poor rap, particularly from kids, they are nutritious and flavor-rich.

One pound of Brussels sprouts plus the seasonings olive oil, honey, salt, white pepper, garlic chilli paste, and sesame seeds are required to produce this recipe. Cook everything together in the air fryer for around 20 minutes.

Simply leave out the honey or substitute a sweetener like maple syrup to make this dish vegan.

7. Crab Cakes

Making crab cakes at home is surprisingly easy! Although the majority of this recipe adheres to tried-and-true fundamentals, it is slightly altered by using almond flour in place of white flour and include a Sriracha-spiked mayo on the side.

8. Avocado fries

The air fryer makes fries healthier, and avocado fries are even healthier! These panko-coated snacks from Lose Weight By Eating have fewer calories than the potato variety, 7 grammes of fibre, 6 grammes of protein, and all the antioxidant and omega-3 punch of avocados in every serving.

[lastevia]

Best Peanut Butter Crunchy for Yummy Snack

Clearly, everyone loves eating peanut butter. It’s a childhood favorite that people will never forget. When talking about peanut butter, people think that these spreads are only used on toasted bread and sandwiches. But people can buy Peanut butter crunchy for a much-loved nut spread that can be used in many creative ways to cook delicious peanut butter dishes. Peanut butter makes people refreshed and relaxed to start a day in a better mood.

People buy Peanut butter crunchy to use in many creative ways,

Use peanut butter as a coating on the bottom of an ice cream cone. This healthy spread creates a small seal of saltiness that prevents any melted ice cream from dripping onto your hands and adds a delicious flavor.

A smart way to make fruit salad dressing. Add ingredients like ginger, sesame oil, and lemon juice directly into the jar of peanut butter and shake. Then it can be served directly from the jar in a fruit salad.

Used as a spread on pancakes, crepes, and waffles. It is less sweet than sugar syrup and contains more protein. Peanut butter doesn’t run or drip on pancakes.

Use it as a substitute for butter. Add peanut butter to most dishes and desserts that call for butter. It adds a delicious peanut butter flavor to your baked food items.

Create a sweet pizza by covering the crust with a thick layer of peanut butter, then add fresh berries, bananas, choco chips, coconut flakes, and extra peanuts.

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[thedragonemperess]

It's going on 3 am so here's my headcanons for each Radiator Springs Townie's favorite ice cream flavors:

Lightning: Banana. He probably has his own special flavor, like Blueberry Lightning Blast or some shit, and he claims it's that one, but deep down, it's always gonna be Banana. He used to eat it purely to be different from the other kids, but now? It's a guilty pleasure.

Sally: Fudge. It reminds her of movie nights with her sister.

Mater: Neopolitan. It's the best of all worlds! (Pistachio is a close second, though.)

Fillmore: Mint Chocolate Chip. He and Sarge regularly argue about whether or not this is a good flavor.

Sarge: Pistachio. He and Fillmore regularly argue about whether or not this is a good flavor.

Guido: Cookies 'N' Cream. It's like is you took the second step of adding toppings out, so not only is it officiant, it's really freaking good.

Luigi: Eggnog. It's comforting in just the right ways.

Doc: Rum Raisin. "Why would you put alcohol in ice cream?" - Doc, minutes before trying a spoon full and falling in love. That's when he really learned not to judge a book by its cover.

Sheriff: Black Cherry Vanilla. It's refreshing, sweet, and the chunks are always just soft enough. Why choose anything other than perfection?

Ramone: Rocky Road. It's a mess, but God damn it, it's a classic, tasty one. And if that doesn't describe Ramone perfectly, then what does?

Flo: Butter Pecan. It reminds her of being in at the carnival as a child and being in pure awe of all the bright lights and the positive energy, and just knowing that she was going to do something that felt just like that with her life. She thought she had found it with singing, but who knew it would actually lead her to Radiator Springs?

Red: Strawberry. It's not too much, but it's far from too little. He doesn't need any of the extra things that come with other flavors, but there's something about the taste of strawberries that remind him of gardening with Lizzie when they were both younger.

Lizzie: Chocolate. When she was little, it was always her and her two siblings. They would always push for each of them getting their own flavor, and being the youngest, she always got stuck with chocolate. At first she hated it, but it grew on her as she grew up, and now it's a reminder of simpler times.

Stanley: Peanut Butter. Remember being a boy and running off to school with a peanut butter sandwich in a paper brown bag for lunch, and thinking about that sandwich and lunch time in class, which ends up being the one thing pushing you through the day? Yeah, that.

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

____________________________________________________________

Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

My ED is severely tied and rooted in sensory issues. I have ADHD and things such as clothing being slightly too tight in general severely affects me and can send me into a breakdown, and from what I do know, my ED only worsens my anxiety surrounding that specific sensory experience.

Do you know how to combat this, or any sources for people similar to me? Nothing online covers this specific niche of reasoning and I am beginning to feel as if I am absolutely alone with this.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time! It really sucks to feel alone with something so difficult. I do believe that what you are experiencing may be ARFID - Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. It's very common among people with extreme sensory issues.

I'm not surprised you're having trouble finding resources for this, because a lot of the resources out there are for parents trying to get their sensory-sensitive children to eat. However, I can share some of the tips that I know of from feeding therapies for sensory-avoidant children.

In order to try eating a new food, schedule a time that you can get away from people and stressors. Bring a couple different new foods, and then a backup "safe food." Just sit with the food, and don't push yourself to eat it right away if you can't. You can even try things like touching, smelling, and putting your tongue to the new food without having to put it in your mouth. That can get you more familiar with the sensory profile of the food, and help you figure out if you are going to have a positive, negative, or neutral reaction to it. Sensory-sensitive children are even encouraged to really play with the food.

Bring napkins. If you put something in your mouth and find it is a really intolerable sensory experience, you can spit it out. Do not force yourself to eat more of the negative-sensory food, as that can generate worse anxiety. However, avoid thinking of that food as "gross" or any other negative terms. Just try to think of it neutrally - "I didn't like it and that's okay -" and move on. Even new foods you have a neutral or pleasant experience with, eating new things can be hard or scary, so don't force yourself to finish the full portion if you're having a really hard time. Even a few bites is a win!

If you can't make yourself eat the new foods, don't beat yourself up and just allow yourself to eat the safe food. But remember to keep on trying.

Look back on your safe foods and try to categorize what is "safe" about them. Is it a taste thing? Is it a texture thing? See if you can ask a few safe people (I'd be happy to help with this to the best of my ability) to recommend new foods that match the sensory profile of a food you already like. Fruits and veggies can be hard because of strong tastes and textures, but they can also be prepared in different ways to get around that. For example, if you hate crunchy foods, carrots and broccoli can be steamed, sauteed, roasted, etc to make them softer. But if you hate "mushy" foods, eating them raw might make more sense. And fruit can be put into smoothies with yogurt, bananas, and/or milk to change out the texture. You can really mix it up to figure out what works for you. (I find that peanut butter, banana, milk, and yogurt makes a simple smoothie that is rich in nutrients and calories and has quite a neutral texture!)

In the meantime, is it possible to get some lab work done to find out what nutritional deficiencies you might be dealing with? You could get yourself some vitamin pills to help you keep up on your nutrition while you work on this issue. Supplement shakes like Ensure could also help you top up that calorie count while you work on getting some new foods into your diet, if that's something you struggle with.

Feel free to look up "ARFID" and see if you can find any counselors who treat this issue. I know it's a hard thing to struggle with because there is no cure for sensory issues. A lot of people with ARFID do remain fairly picky, which is okay, but a lot of them do gain a nutritionally complete array of safe foods in their diet with time and proper treatment. Best of luck and please feel free to message me again if you have more questions!

[debbiebeary]

Disgust and Ecstacey

3

Hayden’s belly jiggled and wobbled violently in the dim, hippy light of the room. The combination of the incense and marijuana haze made the doughy expanse of his body appear even softer and more rounded. The curtains were slightly drawn and in the light was a smoky beam, the rest of the room was lit by red string lights and a few kitschy lamps.

In Hayden’s chunky arms, arms with those beautiful biceps that mushed up against his moobs into a cellulity pillow, he carried Ben and Jerries, peanut butter sandwiches, and some bananas (hey, digestion is important, ok?)

“Alright little britches” said Hayden, time to get to three hundred!” He said as his uncovered belly, lightly shined with sweat, surged forward even more as he added to the snacks already present on the table (chocolate, korean fried chicken and potato chips).

Dillon laughed.

“Oh come on I only reached two fifty yesterday!”

“Only two fifty!?” Cried a voice from across the swirling aromatic haze.

“Only two fifty?!” He repeated, standing up and revealing his own two hundred seventy pound form, he put his meaty paws onto his lightly dark furred, pear shaped body and gave it a strong jiggle, “That’s forty pounds since you arrived, it’s only been a month and a half! If you keep it up you’ll be bigger than me!”

Dillon looked down at his stretchmark covered gut and heaving moobs, which themselves had stretchmarks emerging near the armpits and also stretchmarks on his biceps too. His growth surely exceeded his own expectations. And it didn’t help that Garry, whom was the coffee shops resident chaser turned chub himself, was always feeding Dillon super creamy specialty coffees free of charge throughout his shift.

“Yeah. Who knows,” he began, a smug grin forming between his fattening cheeks and burgeoning double chin, both beginning to dominate his features even under his thickening beard, “perhaps I will hit three hundred.”

“Well it isn’t a matter of ‘if’, it’s a matter of ‘when’. And either way,” Hayden paused to toke the joint he just lit, stifling a cough before he continued, “either way, you gotta eat to make that happen, pig.” And without warning he took a peanut butter sandwich and crammed into an unsuspecting Dillon’s fattening maw. Garry wore a lascivious smirk on his face as he yet again watched Hayden work his gluttonous magic on Dillon.

“Remember!” the three hundred fifty pound blonde stud mumbled after tearing a massive chunk out of his own sandwich, “we match each other bite for bite, no matter what” he continued, swallowing the mouthful into his growling, churning tank, giving it an emphatic slap.

Dillon chewed and swallowed his own mouthful,

“Yes big bear-“

But he was interrupted by Hayden once again plugging his airways with the second half of the sandwich.

Dillon could feel the scale shattering beneath his feet already.

Again and again, handfuls of chocolate brownies, of chips, fried chicken (with an inspired melted Velveeta American cheese dip) were shoved into the awaiting Dillon's mouth by the bronze skinned, blonde haired hunky blob. Though Garry was the bottom, Hayden, a versatile boy who when he was a top, was a very dominant top. This extended to feeding.

Though Hayden was attracted to Dillon, he found force feeding him aggressively to be somehow even more… penetrating. More satisfying than the thought of fucking him ever could be. He was morphing Dillon’s body, potentially towards a permanent absolution. He may never go back to the way he was before the summer began.

Dillon could see the twisted thrill in Hayden’s eyes as he crammed in handful after handful and despite the overstuffed pain in his abdomen he kept opening his mouth, begging again and again for the ruin of his once athletic form.

Hayden had heard tales of the pretentious condescension of Brian. Of his prideful taste in skinny boys, his carbon-copied preferences. In this a dark desire lay, one in which to sever Dillon from his obnoxious fuckbuddy. All he would need were calories and time.

Of which he incidentally had both.

“Damn Hayden, you’re turning him into a blimp!”

“Bwaaap!” Was Hayden’s guttural reply, “ugh, fuck. S’cuse me! Turning myself into a blimp while I’m at it too, don’t ya think Gerry boy?”

Gerry was too busy drooling at them both with big horny puppy eyes to respond, but Hayden’s smile curled with smug deviousness.

Eventually the snacks dwindled until nothing was left and Dillon's already stretchmark laden gut was now bright red and itchy with swelling.

Hayden smacked Dillon’s belly, causing him to wince,

“Fuck!”

“Sorry fatboy, couldn’t help myself, you look like you got a full litter in there.”

“Yeah. A hundred food babies in one. Feel like imma puke.”

Hayden snatched a lit joint that Gerry was enjoying and popped it in Dillon’s mouth, Dillon sucked in frantically,

“Make yourself useful, Gerry. Rub his belly with some of that CBD/tiger balm concoction I made, can’t have him purging all these beautiful calories now can we?”

“N-no sir!” Said Gerry, Gerry always turned into a bitch when Hayden threw his weight around.

“Good boy. Alright Dillon, just hold tight,”

“Uuuuhh. Ok. No I can have that last drumstick then we’re done, I’d rather get this over with and just have some cuddles after.”

“Yeah alright, big dude.”

Hayden let Dillon sink his teeth into the glistening red drumstick, courtesy of the local fried chicken restaurant, Han Ten, Han for the name of the chubby korean bear who owned the pace, ten for ten different glazes. Toasted Perilla, butter honey, spicy, lemon, sweet and sour etcetera. They even had a Ghanaian spicy peanut butter based sauce that was a real zinger. But the one they had was the hybrid honey butter/gochujang ketchup, the K-Supreme with American Cheese Dip, toasted garlic chips and green onions to finish, Dillon’s favourite thing in the world besides Hayden’s succulent puckered-in belly button.

Dillon, after finishing the last bite, let out a rather meaty burp and panted out:

“That’s it, all done…” struggling to breathe, “but it isn’t as bad as last time, uuurap, I’m feeling waaay less sick now, Hayden?”

Hayden was in the kitchen, the fridge door shining it’s menacing white light upon Hayden’s summer- bronzed, food-speckled gut. When Hayden caught Dillon's eye reflected in it was his own evil scheming.

From the glowing gainers bastion of the fridge, like an amulet or treasure of untold power, Hayden withdrew a gallon of chocolate milk.

“Uurp! Fuck, no Hayden that’s pushing it too far! There is no way, mmmlf!”

“Hahaha, you like this funnel? Just got it,” but Dillon managed to spit it out

“Hayden no! Even splitting it it’s way too much for me! I’m too packed!”

Hayden’s face took on a demonic appearance as, with the sun now fully set, the red lights stretched the shadows across his face into l demented forms.

“Whoah, shit this is strong weed.” Dillon suddenly remarked,

“Yeah I cut it with a bit of salvia too, gives everything a nice… twinkle.”

“Well I’m not sure ooouhf!” Hayden shoved the tube back into Dillon's mouth,

“You didn’t let me finish… I’m not splitting this with you, you’re taking ALL OF IT!”

“Whoah, Hayden! You sure? He seems pretty full.”

“He’ll be fine once you get your lips wrapped around his cock, Garry.”

Garry grew quiet.

“RIGHT GERRY!?!”

“Yes sir…”

“Good boy… ok Dillon, open up your throat and GUZZLE! Garry. Uh. Do the same.”

As Garry face planted Dillon’s dick, Dillon was reinvigorated and began to suck down the sweet chocolaty goodness. Garry was a master, sucking Dillon’s meaty head, flicking his slit with his tongue, and deepthroating him like a pro, he never let Dillon get used to his w and was building up to a climax rapidly.

“Yeah you fat fuck, we keep this up you’ll be 400 in no time.”

Dillon moaned. The Gallon was now only half.

“Come on tubbs, you know you want it, you want to beach yourself on the couch and eat and smoke and drink until you’re nothing but a big fat whale.” The gallon was empty but still Dillon sucked on the tube.

“Greedy pig. You still want more?”

withdrawing the tube from Dillon’s mouth, his tortured stomach released a torrent of pressure as Dillon sprayed out a fat wet belch which rolled across the hazy apartment like thunder.

“UUURRRRP!”

In the same moment Hayden, smirking demonically, leaned down and pinched Dillon’s nipple, Dillon convulsed and shot his load, hosing down Garry’s throat with his seed.

“FUUUUCK!” He screamed in agonizing pleasure.

Garry nearly choked on Dillon’s load.

“Holy fuck. Looks like Dillon isn’t the only one that sucked down a gallon of sweet nectar, eh Garry?”

Garry let out a burp of his own before responding.

“I’d say it’s rather more savory but yeah. Basically.”

“Come on, help this fat fuck up, I wanna weigh him.”

“Urrp, fuck guys won’t you give me a second?”

“No fucking way, I wanna see the damage we did, let’s go tubbs!”

After laboring them to the bathroom, they made him stand unaided, swaying dizzily under his own strength after a few minutes of assistance, finally the scale read out its deliberation.

Hayden screamed in disbelief:

“FUCK ME! Two sixty five!?!”

[iconic-ponytail]

there's always money in the banana stand

riverdale promptathon week 3: yellow + business

Even as the sun sets, even as the breeze blows, the hell furnace of July in Riverdale burns on. It’s triply as sweltering inside the tiny booth running three freezers, offloading heat to sustain the frozen merchandise inside. “How can it be so hot in there when we are supposed to be selling frozen bananas?” JB complains, at least twice a week.

She’s twelve. Complaint is her new first language. She complains about being left in Riverdale while Gladys went back to Toledo. She complains about living in a trailer park that usually does not have warm water. She complains about their father being imprisoned for covering up a gruesome murder. But most of all, she complains about working in the banana stand.

Child labor laws aside, Jughead can’t blame her for that one. He hates the damn banana stand, but it’s their best shot.

Gladys’ monthly check covers rent and utilities for the trailer. Everything else is on him, now. The idiot eighteen year old who decided to petition the court to be his sister’s legal guardian. Well, and his idiot mom who signed off on it. So he needs money, and the Jones family has never been particularly flush with cash, just trampled over by FP’s failed “business opportunities.”

Enter: the banana stand.

It’s not the fastest revenue stream, Jughead finds. But it’s got potential.

Initially, Dilton doesn’t let him sell during the Twilight Drive-In’s concession stand hours. Before or after the movie, sure, but no overlap. “I’m not worried about competition, Jones. It’s just too humiliating for me to watch you sweat through that horrible yellow polo you call ‘branding.’”

But when customers asked him more than twice a night when the banana stand would be open, Dilton caved.

It’s not like being open during the screening hours is a whole lot more preferable. He only just transferred from Southside to Riverdale High last spring; now he’s the rising senior who hands out phallic symbols from inside a giant phallic symbol. Not exactly a boon to his popularity.

Still, recently the money is enough to pay the internet bill and keep JB fed for dinner when she can’t go to the summer breakfast and lunch program at the local park district. It’s still not enough for him to eat particularly well, and the smell of hot dogs and slurp of his classmates’ slushies makes the heat feel like a minor inconvenience.

He eyes the tip jar, willing himself to wait on rampaging the concession stand until the beginning of the film roar dies down. It’s a double feature tonight, which means maybe he can score enough cash to cover those damn college application fees his counselor will start hounding him about week one of school.

Then he sees her—Betty Cooper. She’s laughing, watching Archie Andrews try to catch popcorn in his mouth, tossed by his paramour, Veronica Lodge. She pauses to sip from her slushie straw, her lips—which he’s watched argue against homophobic and racist comments in their advanced lit class, or pressed to the cheek of her other best friend, Kevin Keller. Which he’s imagined, doing slightly less savory things, though the mere thought of said imagining has his heart pounding wildly.

(Jughead’s been eating way too many fucking bananas. Someone needs to check his potassium levels.)

His absolutely pathetic gaze, once available three times a day in their shared classes where Jughead has still not managed to exert any confidence whatsoever regarding speech, eye contact, or general acknowledgement of Betty Cooper’s existence other than whatever drooling may or may not be happening, all of which he finds he has no control over… is all interrupted by the absolute polar opposite of Betty Cooper. Hiram Lodge zooms up to the banana stand on his segway, angling to a stop just before taking out the stand’s foundation.

“Still getting a hang of that, Mayor Lodge?”

Hiram grimaces. “Just checking that you’ve renewed your business permit, Jones.”

They do this once a week. It’s still the same permit.

“You know,” Hiram starts as Jughead rustles for the paperwork to make him go the fuck away, “I could find you an arrangement with a better banana supplier. For a discount. If you’re interested.”

Jughead rolls his eyes. “I’m not interested in your GMO, black market bananas, Hiram.”

Hiram gives him a pointed look. Jughead rolls his eyes even harder. “Mayor Lodge.” He proffers the papers, Hiram waves them away. “I’ll take one chocolate peanut butter dip. With peanuts.”

Jughead kisses his teeth. “That will be $3.50.”

Hiram’s whole face goes serpentine. “Not between business partners, Jones. Put it on my tab.”

Jughead grits his teeth, handing the finished banana so aggressively he hopes that the chocolate splatters and stains Hiram’s $500 tie. It is only slightly worth it to watch Hiram struggle with navigating the segway one-handed, frozen banana in the other.

He muffles a chuckle before realizing he’s used the dead end of the chopped peanut topping, and exits the stand to update the order board hanging on the outside. It’s mostly an excuse to feel a ten degree drop in temperature, a sweet relief he might be able to extend by grabbing a hot dog before the intermission rush.

He’s crossing off peanuts from the topping list and spinning around when he hears a shriek and a sudden, cold slosh across his chest. The yellow polo drips with artificial blue slushie, but Jughead swallows his fucking hell when he sees that the shriek, gaping stare of horror, and stumble in question all belong to his very own blonde kryptonite.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD, jesus, shit, I’m so sorry!”

Jughead is frozen while Betty grabs about half his napkin dispenser and starts pawing at his shirt in a vain attempt to right the giant sticky blue mess all over his chest.

Finally, Jughead swallows the golf ball in his throat and chokes out. “Honestly, it’s fine. That stand is a sauna. I needed that.”

Betty stops, both her blotting and her stream of apologizing (which includes a fair bit of cursing, and he is a little revolted with himself by how much this turns him on).

“It’s going to get very sticky, soon. Maybe I should buy a bottle of cold water?”

Jughead can’t help himself. “Oh, impromptu yellow t-shirt contest?”

Betty grins.

I did that.

“Do you have any employees who could bring you another shirt?”

Jughead shakes his head. “Just my sister. She’s playing video games at home. There’s no earthly way she’ll bring me a spare.”

Betty cocks her head. “I had a feeling you were more than the silent back row kind of guy.”

The fact that Betty Cooper has, at any point, considered what kind of guy he is triggers full-on nervous blathering. “I’m usually very tired at school. I have this little sister—but I’m kind of um, her guardian. So I’m doing this stupid banana stand thing because it’s like one of the three assets to our entire family name I guess? Anyway, it’s hard to engage with Haggly’s basic discussion questions at eight in the morning when you spent the whole night dreaming about wholesale banana margins.”

He’s essentially vomiting words, but Betty is still smiling.

“Anyway, I should crawl back into my fruit-shaped purgatory and let you go back to your friends.”

She’s biting her lip, hedging. “Honestly, they’re probably using the alone time to make out in the car, and I’d rather let them get all their sexual tension out so that I don’t have to feel it radiating off of them for the whole second half of the double feature.”

Jughead laughs and tamps down the impulse to offer her a frozen banana, because he cannot possibly say something like that without making it sound sexual.

“What are frozen banana profit margins like, anyway?” Betty asks, either genuinely interested or legitimately flirting with him. Jughead finds both potentials baffling.

Jughead hesitates, then ducks inside the stand, pulling out his spiral bound notebook. “I’m still kind of figuring it out. All my records are in here.”

Betty sidles up to the stand, taking up the whole window. They’re both leaning over the scribbled line items on college ruled paper; he can smell her shampoo. She takes the notebook, scanning thoroughly.

“Do you have a pencil?”

He hands her one and observes her going to work, writing out some algebraic formula and calculating quickly in her head. There is a calculator within his reach, but he thinks handing it to her might come off as an insult. (Jughead wouldn’t know; he assumes Betty is in an advanced math class. Jughead is not.)

After a few minutes of watching her devoted focus, thinking about her hands touching his pencil, thinking about her hands wrapped around his hand, or his—

“I don’t know how to tell this to you, Jug.”

The shortening of his name stops his heart for a jolt, and his response is embarrassingly delayed. “What is it?”

Betty winces but smiles through it, a combination she’s surely learned to use when delivering bad news. It’s well earned, it really does soften the blow.

“There’s no money in the banana stand. At least, not with these margins.”

Jughead finds himself less than devastated by this news, mostly because it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The messenger doesn’t hurt, either.

“But,” she interrupts. “I don’t know if you’ve nailed down your course load for senior year. But I’m taking AP Econ? This could be, um, a good project. Like, if you want to take the class. Or even if you don’t. Not that you’re like a project or… whatever. I’m just saying we could figure it out. Make lemonade out of… bananas.”

Betty Cooper is extremely cute when she stammers.

Jughead doesn’t know what to do, so he gives her an easy out. “I can’t like, hire you, if that wasn’t obvious by the whole… deficit spending or whatever the whole negative circled number at the bottom of the page really means.”

She flushes. “No, that would be highway robbery. I just thought there might be an… opportunity. For um, us. I mean, for you and I. I mean—” she clears her throat, as if it’s closing up. “An academic opportunity. Or, in your case, professional. Well, a betterment of your livelihood. Okay, um, shit, just… I should go!”

She turns away, her face the deepest scarlet he’s ever seen.

“Betty, wait.”

She pivots back, eyes down at the ground.

“How about I buy you a new slushie and you come back into the booth. Tell me everything I’m doing wrong for the rest of the night.”

Betty looks up, biting the corner of her smile. “Sounds like a deal.”

They shake on it.

[lovemesomesurveys]

do you like candy corn? I do. I can’t wait until I’m able to eat normally again cause I have a bag of Funfetti candy corn waiting for me.  favorite halloween candy? My normal faves like Reese’s, KitKats, M&Ms, etc but Halloween themed, ha. And candy corn, obvs.  do you like pickled vegetables? I like pickles.  favorite fruit? least favorite fruit? Bananas are my favorite and pretty much the only one I ever eat. I don’t like oranges or tangerines at all.  what is the strangest food combination you like? I eat my scrambled eggs with ranch and Pizza Rolls with mustard. I like tater tots with mustard, too. 

what is your favorite snack? Chips and dip.  what did you have for lunch today? Nothing, yet, it’s only 12:29AM.  do you usually eat breakfast? I got in a good habit of that for most of this year until I had the breathing tube put in and could no longer eat. I can finally eat some things, one of them being Cream of Wheat, so I’ll be having that now.  favorite dipping sauce for chicken strips? Ranch usually, but it depends on the place. Like, if I go to Chick-Fil-A I get Chick-Fil-A sauce and if I go to Raising Cane’s I’ll have their dipping sauce.  do you like sweet potato fries? I do.  least favorite vegetable? Most of them to be honest. The only veggies I eat is spinach, potatoes, green onions, broccoli, green beans, and corn.  favorite vegetable? The ones I listed above.  do you like chocolate and mint together? Mmm, yes.  have you ever dipped fries in a milkshake? Yep.  favorite flavor of gum? Mint. what was your favorite food as a kid? Pizza and chicken nuggets.  favorite fast food place? Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, Chick-Fil-A, Raising Cane’s, Carl’s Jr.  favorite soda? Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, and various flavors of each.  least favorite soda? Root Beer.  do you like sweet or unsweet tea? I like to add a little sugar to mine.  how do you like your coffee? (or do you drink coffee at all?)) Hot, with either flavored creamer or cream and sugar.  do you like bubble tea? I like milk tea, but not the boba.  do you like curry? I can’t eat spicy food.  favorite type of cuisine? Italian.  favorite sandwich? Turkey or bologna with provolone or Colby Jack cheese, mayo, mustard, spinach, and sandwich oil with a pickle on the side. favorite cheese? I love a variety of cheeses.  have you ever been vegan or vegetarian? No.  

favorite breakfast cereal? All the sugary ones, basically. what do you eat when you're sick? Not much honestly, but I try to make myself have some toast and soup.  favorite thanksgiving dish? I love the main meal, which for us consists of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and rolls, but honestly the appetizers are probably my favorite. We put out like a charcuterie board, chips and a few different dips, sourdough bread with a few spreads, and deviled eggs.  favorite salad dressing? Ranch and balsamic vinaigrette.  what are you currently craving? I can’t wait until I’m able to have my Wingstop again.  Snickers or Milk Way? I like both.  have you ever had chocolate covered gummy bears? Yes.  pulp or no pulp orange juice? Blech, neither.  beans or no beans in your chili? Beans.  favorite burger condiments? Ranch, mayo, mustard, BBQ sauce, olive oil, pesto, balsamic vinaigrette, black pepper... there’s likely more but yeah. I’m a total condiments/dips/sauce kinda gal.  do you like peanut butter? Yes.  what flavor of jelly/jam is your favorite? Grape.  favorite flavor of potato chips? Original, sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream, BBQ.  how do you like your eggs cooked? Just about every way to be honest, but I have scrambled eggs and over-easy eggs most often.  favorite kind of soup? Ramen, French onion, and broccoli and cheddar.  do you like cold pizza? I did when I was younger, but not so much anymore.  do you like sour candy? No. what food do you absolutely refuse to eat? Seafood. 

[multimilfs]

Lilith Clawthorne x Fem!Reader: First Time Beasts and How to Take Care of Them

Summary: Anon requested “PostS1- How about cursed!reader taking care of Lilith after experiencing her first transformation?” 

A/N: I made myself hungry... RIP

Warning(s): None

Rule no. 1 one of transformations? Expect more than you’re likely to get.

Rule no. 2? Well… expect a lot. Transformations are no easy gig.

Over the course of time with your own curse, it’d become easy enough that you forgot these rules. Big mistake. That landed you with a yard full of feathers and enough sprinting to make a seasoned runner drop. You would be feeling it tomorrow.

When Lilith had first taken on half of Eda’s curse, you thought that her beast form would take on some of her personality. Calm, curious, and snuggly. The only trait to ring slightly true had been the snuggly bit. Unfortunately, she couldn’t calm down long enough to actually snuggle at all.

Lilith’s beast form was erratic and terrified. Of everything. You sneezed and she took off into the woods, only leaving behind tufts of feathers and claw marks in the ground. It would have been funnier if someone else were chasing after her.

Eventually though, you caught her for long enough to get the real Lilith back.

Now you were carrying said witch up to your shared bedroom, laying her gently on the bed. She let out a pained noise that made your heart ache.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” You soothed, “I’ll get you something to eat and then you can sleep the rest of it off.”

“Screw food. Get in bed.” Lilith grumbled.

Her eyes glared at you from beneath the blankets stacked on top of her. You bit your lip, doing everything you could not to laugh. Her glare grew more intense every second you didn’t join her. And though you planned to, she really did need something to eat.

“Food first, then I’ll snuggle with you.”

Lilith let out a growl. The noise startled you, but it seemed to startle her too. Her eyes were wide and her ears were turning red. You left the room before she could see your grin.

You tried to recall what it’d been like for you after the first transformation. It had startled you, left you feeling raw physically and emotionally. You’d also been starving. Running around in a larger form burned a lot of calories.

The best route, you decided, was to have her eat something and then you’d hold her for the rest of the night. It was best for her to feel supported and safe. With as paranoid as her beast form was, she would be the same way for the rest of the night. Emotions and adrenaline were still surging.

Feeling pressed for time, you began mixing up something simple. Human pancakes. Luz had introduced the food to the residents of the Owl House and they’d quickly become a favorite of Lilith’s. She preferred hers with mashed fruit and a chocolate drizzle. Though the latter was a guilty pleasure.

“Hey, Luz?” You called out after arriving in the kitchen.

“Yeah?” Luz replied distantly.

“Can I get your help with these human pancakes of yours?”

There was the sound of feet before Luz stood in the doorway, a bright smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled in that way they did when she was happy to be included.

“These are going to be the best pancakes ever.” She gushed.

You couldn’t help but grin, holding out a bowl to her. Luz was a good kid. She had a natural joy for being around people and helping that brightened the house. Without her, you weren’t sure that you’d even be here in the Owl House. You counted yourself lucky to know a human like Luz.

“Are we making normal pancakes?” Luz asked, pulling her ingredients out of the cabinets.

“There are more than one type?”

“Of course there are! There are blueberry, banana, peanut butter, chocolate chip-”

“Woah, okay! You human’s really stick with something when you create it, huh?” You laughed, “Do you think Lilith would like chocolate chip?”

Luz nodded quickly. Lilith’s love for chocolate was the worst kept secret in the Owl House. None of you were brave enough to tell her that, though.

The two of you descended into a calm silence, only pierced by Luz giving you instructions on something. It was nice. If Lilith had been feeling better, she would have sat on the chair in the corner, watching the two of you work. It reminded you to be quick about getting back to her.

“Thanks for your help, Luz.”

“Anytime! Tell Lilith I hope they help.” She said sweetly.

You couldn’t help but reach out and ruffle her hair affectionately. What a good kid.

“I will.”

When you returned to the bedroom, Lilith had managed to sit herself up against the headboard, tapping her fingers impatiently. Her eyes lit up interestedly upon seeing the food in your hands, before tuning it down. She was supposed to be annoyed with you.

“Took you long enough.” Lilith sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Luz and I made you some special pancakes though.” You said with a smile.

Lilith glanced over at the plate, which turned into her staring at it. Every few moments she would glance away. Trying, and failing, to pretend that she was uninterested.

“No? Alright, I guess I can eat them, then.”

You began to cut the pancakes up, before Lilith rolled her eyes. She slowly held out a hand for the plate. You made no effort to hide your triumphant smile.

“I’m only doing this because I have no desire to hear you berate me later.” Lilith reasoned, glaring at you.

“Of course, honey.”

You sat down on the bed, lifting your arm so Lilith could snuggle up to you. She ate her chocolate chip pancakes while humming. And every now again, she’d generously offer you a piece.

When she’d eaten all of them, she let out a sigh. Lilith then wrapped both of her arms around your middle. You had to ignore the pain in your chest when she froze against the soreness in her body. It hurt you to see her in so much pain.

“Better?” You asked.

“Mhm.”

“Let me move the plate and then we can sleep.”

You tried to stand and move the plate, but Lilith had latched onto you. She had waited long enough. There was no way she was letting you get out of the bed, not until she’d gotten the snuggles she’d been waiting for.

“Lilith-”

Lilith grumbled, covering your mouth with her hand. She gave you a devious glare.

“Just lay down and shush, okay?” She said.

She’d put on her Coven Leader voice, which still worked, even after all this time. You laid down fully, holding her close while being careful not to hold her too tightly. She’d already moved more than she should have. You didn’t want to make it worse.

The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. And eventually, you felt her breathing even out. She wasn’t in too much pain to stop her from falling asleep. Good.

Carefully and slowly, you covered her in the soft blanket, placing a kiss on her forehead. It would be hard for the next few days, with soreness and mood swings. But the worst had passed. For now, all there was to do was sleep.