#the person i am is made better by the mistakes and personal traits that only i can bring to the table

[mmmthornton]

Unironically I think there are many cases where being a laid back stoner-ass personality in this job makes me better at it, particularly with bank reconciliations. Like, a chunk of my job is nicely communicating when an error has been made and I've learned that if you can do that gently and in a "we literally all do it dude it's fine" attitude, no one gets needlessly defensive or tries to hide it with unnecessary drama / JEs. Its whatever man! We'll figure it out, I got u.

[darlingsblackbook]

Gojo Satoru x Reader

Summary : The time of an old pact, promising your hand to the heir of the Gojo clan, has come. It is now your wedding, how will the two of you continue from here?

Wordcount : 1k

Warnings : Arranged marriage, mention of Naoya ( yes, he is a warning ) english is not my first language, feel free to correct me if you see any mistakes but please be respectful about it. ( I will cry otherwise )

A/N : To be honest, I write the reader with myself in mind. I have not mentioned hair color, eye color or body shape but a lot of personality traits, like being shy and awkward, were from me :) I might make this a short series with parts of their lives, feel free to leave suggestions!

There was this ringing in your ear. It was the only thing you could hear—not the only sound. No, there were many sounds—all so muffled—there was so much happening all around you. Too many things were happening, and you just could not keep up with any of them. You felt so detached from everything happening around you; nothing felt real; you did not feel real.

You were numb, not yourself.

The only thing you could focus on was the ringing in your ear.

Until that one voice cut right through it.

"You could at least smile, you know?"

And suddenly all the water in your ears that was muffling the world around you rushed right out of your ears, and you could hear everything.

Music, laughter, singing, aunties gossiping.

You blinked once, then once again, and one last time before you lifted your head to gaze over the sea of guests through your veil.

And you were back to reality again. You were back to being the new bride—the new lady of the Gojo clan.

"The situation may not be ideal, even I can admit that, but I am not the worst person you could have been paired with." Your husband sounded amused, "Like Zen'in, for example. Can you imagine being even just acquaintances with Naoya? Blegh," he stuck his tongue out.

Your husband.

Gojo Satoru—the strongest—was your husband.

You were from an ancient clan, not as big or flashy as the elite clans of the jujutsu world. They were not even sorcerers.

However, your family had a unique trait. They were not sorcerers, but through dreams and visions, your family had the ability to predict the future. Just like your husband, your power lay in your eyes. They could not only see curses but they could also see through the veil, to the other side.

Unfortunately, the unique ability had been appearing less and less throughout the centuries and, just like your husband, you were the first in so many years to be born with the ability.

A seer.

The family heads of the elite clans are greedy; they all want to be better, stronger than the other. What better way to be a step ahead of your enemy than by knowing what will happen in the future and owning the eyes that could potentially be even stronger than those of the Gojo brat?

They all came knocking on the doors of your estate as soon as the word went out that the first seer in so long had been born. Well, you were already a few years old at the time, but only when you were a bit older could you communicate what you were seeing with your family.

Smaller clans, clans that had weakened and faded into the background, came knocking in hopes of rising to the top again.

The Kamo clan, willing to set aside their values of keeping the bloodline pure, came knocking.

The Zen'in clan—your grandfather, the current head of your clan, had immediately shot their offer down. The hand of his precious granddaughter for their heir? No way.

Only one of the big three had not come knocking, and it was only a mere two weeks ago that you found out why.

Knowing that both the abilities of the Gojo clan and L/N clan had been appearing less frequently, your grandfathers, being close friends, had made a pact. The hand of the next woman born with the L/N clan's abilities would be given to the heir of the Gojo clan if he had inherited the Six Eyes.

You had been promised to them before you were even born.

Of course, you only found out on a random Saturday night as you were getting ready to retire for the day. You were in such shock, you could not even resist—not that you wanted to. You had always known there was a big chance of being in an arranged marriage, and actually, you had been happy with it. Being the socially awkward, shy girl had always made it hard to make friends, let alone have a romantic relationship.

You had such a big heart full of love to give, but there was no one willing to receive it. You wanted someone, just for you, so badly, but there was no way you could do it on your own.

So now you were here, sitting next to your husband, at your wedding.

Happy, but in shock at how fast things went and having absolutely no idea how to act.

"-esides, look at how handsome I am~"

You averted your gaze to him. For the first time that night, you really took your time to just take him in.

Indeed, the rumors of his good looks proved to be true—much to your delight. His hair, as white as snow, looked so soft you were tempted to just reach a hand out to caress it. His bright blue eyes—a shade you had never seen, they are so pretty.

His eyebrows shot up, a certain twinkle appearing in his eyes. "I am glad you think so, wife."

"Huh?" You responded, dumbfounded. "Did I...?"

"Say it out loud?" Satoru finished your question. "Yes, you did."

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire at this point. You went from being too shy to talk to men to getting married and embarrassing yourself, all in one night.

"I..uhm..sorry," you managed to squeak out. He was just so handsome, face and body. You could see his muscles through his clothes; he was so big and, of course, older.

He suddenly leaned in, his nose just centimeters from yours, "For what?" He tilted his head to the side, eyes glancing at your lips.

You opened your mouth, but no answer came out. You tilted your chin downwards a bit, shyly looking at him through your long lashes, looking so adorable to him....

You decided to just answer with a shrug.

His lips curled up in a sly smirk, "A wife is supposed to find her husband attractive, isn't she?"

You could hardly think; he was so close.

"I must say," he hummed, leaning even closer, his lips right by your ear. His hot breath ghosting over your skin, "I am certainly not disappointed."

♡

Time for bed, ya'll. Goodnight

[tarotbydelilah444]

a love letter from your mother to you

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and new mothers around the world. You are loved and appreciated for all that you do from being a strong woman to being a mother to all, and you do it all with beauty & grace. Thank you for all that you do and that you continue to do. We love you! This message is to meant to apply to everyone, no matter who raised you, or you consider as your “mother.”

pile one • 💐

dearest one, my life was complicated and a mess when you came into my life. I went through a lot of changes when I found out about your existence. I had to come to terms with some harsh realities and learn from my many many mistakes in order to be the best parent that I could be for you, and it wasn’t always easy as I made it seem. You made me a better person. You gave me a second chance to do the right thing when everybody doubted me, and for that, I am eternally grateful for your existence in my life. You taught me valuable lessons and things I never knew that I was capable of. You taught me how to be a mature, patient, humble, and selfless human being and mother. Although I endured a lot of challenges when you came into the world, I do not regret a single thing, and given the chance, I would do it all over again. I am so proud of you and everything you have manage to accomplish in your life. Everybody knows how proud I am of you, and if it was possible I would scream to the top of my lungs, so that the entire world knows how proud you have made me as a parent. Baby, I want you to know that I will always be there to support you whenever you need me, you can always count on me when no one else is there, so don’t hesitate to lean on me when you aren’t feeling too strong. My favorite thing about you is your ability to rise above adversity. You are so resilient and you never allow anything or anyone to keep you down for too long. You just dust yourself off, get back up, and try again and again until you reach the stars. Now at times, you can be a bit of a perfectionist and way too hard on yourself, and I want you to know that it is okay to take a step back and give yourself grace because everyone needs a break every once in a while. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are still the best in my eyes, no matter what anyone says or does. My precious child, the best trait that you inherited from me was your drive and determination to go after your dreams & aspirations. I’ve always known since the day you were born that you were going to do amazing things and be more successful than I ever was. You are truly the best parts of myself, and you are everything I could possibly ask for. I am so proud to be your mother.

sincerely

- your mama

pile two • 🌷 my sweet precious baby, I was so excited when you came into the world. I have always dreamt about how my family would look one day and I always dreamt of your precious face and how much love I would shower you in. You brought so much joy and happiness into my life at a time when I really needed it. Before you were born, I struggled to find purpose and balance in my life. I was constantly juggling my passions in one hand, and my priorities in the other. When you arrived, I immediately felt that you were not only my purpose, but my reason. I knew right away that I needed to make some changes in my life and do things that would make me happy. Your birth taught me how to give myself grace and how to take joy in the little things and never take anything for granted. You are my muse, my inspiration, and my pride and joy. I love you with all my heart and soul. Do you know what I absolutely love about you? I absolutely love your generosity. You have such a big heart and you are always willing to help out anyone that you see, but sometimes, I do wish that you be more careful and aware that not everyone has good intentions, or want the best for you. I also want you to be more comfortable in saying “no” to others instead of always trying to please others. You cannot pour from a empty cup, my dear. I love that you are so determined and goal driven. You never have to be forced nor told to get up and go after what you want in life, and for that I commend you for that. You are not one to accept losses because you understand that life presents challenges and you won’t always win every single battle, but you learn and accept the lessons that have been given to you with each challenging task, which in my opinion, makes you the strongest person I know. Last but certainly not least, I am grateful that you inherited my intelligence and curiosity for all things in life. You can be a bit of a overthinker and tend to worry over the littlest things, but I want you to know that everything is going to work out just fine, and there is no need to worry about every little thing, just enjoy this ride called “life”. I adore that you don’t follow the crowd and that you march to the beat of your own drum. You weren’t created to fit in, but pave your own path, no matter what anyone says, they are just intimidated by your uniqueness. Don’t ever try to fit into anyone box, and continue to be true to yourself. yours truly, - your mama

pile three • 💐

my miracle child, you have no idea how much I am grateful for your presence in my life. You are everything that I could’ve ever imagined and I am beyond honored that you chose me to be your mommy. I prayed so many times for your arrival and I promised that I would always shower you in so much love since the day you came into my life. When I found out about you, I cried and jumped for joy because there were so many people that told me that I wouldn’t become a mother, but I never listened nor did I give up the fight. I pleaded and prayed to the Lord that he would bless my womb and heart with your beautiful soul, and he listened and delivered such a beautiful and wonderful human being. You are my best and greatest achievement in my life, and nothing could ever compare with you. I made a vow to God, that I would always love and treasure you for the rest of my life. I love you with every fiber of myself. I love that you are such a passionate and creative person. Your optimism is so inspiring and refreshing. I absolutely adore that you have such a zest for life, please don’t ever lose it even when life presents its challenges. Your smile and laughter brings me so much bliss and happiness. You manage to bring a smile to my face, even when I am going through a rough time, and for that I am eternally thankful. You are truly my best friend and I am so in love with being your mama. I am so happy that I have been blessed to watch your growth and be apart of every single stage. I am so proud of the person you have become today and you are the greatest child and best friend I could have possibly asked for. I am so glad that you inherited my perseverance. Your ability to keep going despite there being obstacles and difficulties in your path. Your resilience is admirable and you handle your challenges with so much grace. I’ve always known since you were born that you were meant for greatness and that you would accomplish so much life. My angel, I truly admire your independence, grit, intelligence, reliability, and nurturing spirit. with all my love, - your mama

[evelhak]

Aaaaa, this!!! I literally cried, I am so happy to see some actual common sense!! I am so, SO tired of this trend, it's not just Rory either, there's a really unfair pattern going on where the "renaissance" on a piece of media is basically just fans ripping a protagonist to pieces for things that these fans do not hold other characters, particularly beloved antagonists and rivals, accountable for.

This video perfectly illustrates the dynamic: Rory, who tries her best to both achieve her goals and be a decent human being while doing it, who never was a perfect human if you paid attention, gets held to the standard of an angel, so every time she makes a mistake that mistake is treated as disproportionately horrible and irredeemable. Meanwhile, as a good example, Paris, who consistently treats other people horribly, gets downright babied, and how she deserved better is repeated, her own responsibility over her actions downplayed or completely ignored. Only her good qualities are remembered, and highlighted.

There's an excellent quote in the video:

"The audience loves Paris because she is so over the top that she becomes a non-character. But when you take her as a real person and judge her with the same standards as you would Lorelai and Rory, she is pretty terrible."

This. This happens with so many characters whose traits are so much that they are viewed as inherently comedic or unbelievable, so they don't count in people's eyes. Paris having a fit in her college entrance interview, yelling over the interviewers and defending eugenics, gets brushed off as "poor baby, she's clearly mentally ill, she just deserves better, she should have gotten in", while Rory, who got manipulated into an internship by the BIGGEST journalism figure just so he could tell her "she didn't have it" was JUST weak and entitled for getting upset and discouraged over it.

Paris cheating on her boyfriend for months with a college professor gets pushed under the rug because people are too uncomfortable to even acknowledge the whole thing, meanwhile Rory is THE WORST for sleeping with a married guy after she repeatedly asked him if both him and his wife agreed their marriage was over, suggested they could try counselling, and was lied to by said guy that both he and his wife knew things were over between them.

Yeah, Rory made mistakes, and definitely didn't act perfectly after either of the situations I mentioned. She was emotional and people generally make mistakes when they are. But for some reason certain characters get a free pass all the time, while it feels almost like Rory gets punished for even trying to be a good person. Like "See, I caught her making a mistake, that means she's the worst." As if trying to have morals and be decent is inherently arrogant and hypocritical. Like trying and failing is worse than not even trying. It's like, her mom and grandparents and home town expect her to be perfect, so fans did too, and now they're mad at her for being human because they put her on a pedestal. Meanwhile characters who consistently don't care about their impact on others don't get scrutinized, their actually horrible behaviour is just taken as comedy or proof of their victimhood.

Basically, people are desensitized to horrible things from certain characters, they expect it, so they don't react to it, but when Rory who is "supposed to be good" makes a mistake, it's suddenly the core of her character and all she is. Geez.

And don't get me wrong, I love both Paris and Rory. I love every character in the show. But this double standard drives me nuts. So many characters in the show have done very similar things as Rory gets accused of, some of them while feeling no remorse. Some of them have done a lot worse things that get forgiven easily.

And don't even get me started on what a hot guy with a tragic backstory gets excused for. Yeah, some things are understandable when you know the backstory. That doesn't make those things not wrong.

It's like people are obsessed with the idea that someone who appears good on the surface must be bad, and vice versa. Nuance be damned.

[districtscare]

ok re: weird race stuff in thg i literally was just thinking about your post and how every single black boy is described as a threat. anyways. i am dropping in to ask about any thoughts you have on chaff and seeder and how they're treated in the narrative - i've been thinking about seeder's connection with katniss and chaff's with haymitch and how it made wayy more sense for them to be allied with katniss and peeta. idk. felt like another way for them to be more Tragic Deaths. but i also don't know if i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill

hey, hi! you're totally not making a mountain out of a molehill and i do actually have some thoughts.

i feel very strongly about chaff and his part of the narrative (if that wasn't already apparent) and how i absolutely loathe his introduction. kissing katniss as a joke looked very predatory at first to me, and it was weird that suzanne collins would pose one of her black characters in such an unfavorable light as SOON as he's introduced. then you've got the comments about “he could never stay out of a fight,” and then that poses him as predatory AND aggressive. those negative traits will overide the positive in a read where he's been mentioned.

his redeeming qualities is looking over katniss and peeta, (and bonding with him specifically,) alongside playing a huge role in haymitch's life, as a best friend/drinking partner, which even reads as queer-coding, considering that the first person that we see is important to haymitch, is a man. and yes, men have best friends! not denying that! but it's the nature of descriptions in their relationships, and even peeta's adamance to mention chaff every so often. chaff ALSO lasted a long time in the arena, being smart enough to likely figure out the tree + water trick without a spile.

with seeder, she seems almost forgettable. a seam-resembling woman who reassures katniss about rue and thresh's family, and holds a sense of comfort and wisdom as an older woman. and yet, first chance, she's one of the first people to go. we don't get her story, or any important details otherwise, and it really stunts getting to know the (introduced) victors of 11. it simply seems as if they weren't important enough in comparison to other victors, when they were in on the rebel plan in the exact same way.

and on the subject of reaper, chaff and thresh, it is so repetitive to have all 3 of your main black characters be brutal, fighty, aggressive. reaper killed a peacekeeper. thresh killed clove brutally. chaff, we don't know. but if he's a fighter, then i assume his actions aren't any better. it's okay to make your black characters good people. you don't have to weave in microagressive stereotypes to display racism, especially when it isn't your place. each of these characters do so much good, yes! but by collins constantly giving them that fatal flaw of violence and aggression, which is ALREADY a trait that condemns black people in the modern day, true or not true of any character, she undoes that. she harms the community she's attempting to represent in her work.

i could also mention how the torture system in district 11 eludes to lynching, and how strange it is to beat people for eating crops, or kill them for harmless mistakes. it is not racism representation, it is harm, because we don't have to be tied to slavery every time! a lot of our history is, but in the same vein? it's not the only thing that happened to black people, and you don't have to hint or reference it to create a successful black character/population.

very true that suzanne uses each character as a tragic death. it's literally like how every black character dies first in a horror movie. overused, and absolutely uneducated. because we have reaper & the poisoned water (and in the movie the snakes,) seeder in the bloodbath, rue and the spear and her mural/tribute grave, chaff dying right as they were leaving the arena, boggs getting his legs blasted off and dying violently. all of this is repetitive, and she gives life to these characters, just to have that discontinued. and it's unfair, it isn't representation to the full extent.

[rius-cave]

The reason why I think killing off Adam permanently is a huge mistake is the fact that he deserves redemption the most. Out of all Hazbin characters, he's the one who deserves to be redeemed, both literally and figuratively in the viewers' eyes.

He's been introduced as an utterly obnoxious, narcissistic and egoistic asshole, with literally zero obviously positive qualities expect maybe him being a funny guy?? Although his humor was built around vulgar and sexist jokes so it's debatable. He was clearly meant to be an antagonist and that only, kinda like the Vees (although that has room to develop yet, and certainly gonna in s2). No concrete reason was stated as the motivation of his behavior, we can only assume things but it's clear there wasn't much thought, he just wasn't destined to be explained and redeemed. He's just like that.

And that's the big issue. He's kinda portrayed as he's always been like that (why Lilith left him etc). But there's the fact that he's in Heaven. How could he be in Heaven if he's a guy full of negative traits, shitty behavior and issues like narcissism (or even a potential god-complex)?? I don't think it would be possible for such problematic people to pass divine judgement and become winners, not even if said person is the literal first man and hasn't eaten the apple. Yes, we see how lenient Sera is with him about the whole extermination and his behavior, I wouldn't be surprised if Heaven has always been just as lenient, but I don't think they could've determined if he got to Heaven (especially since even Sera doesn't know how people get there).

So what's the point of saying all this? That he HAD to be better at some point. He had to be as "pure" and good as it leads one to become a winner. And that automatically means something had to change that later on. Be it the treatment Heaven gave him, how he's been praised as the first soul to get there, the perfect man, or some kind of untreated trauma from earlier (being abandoned, betrayed, etc) or even just seeing what humanity became (disappointment). I absolutely believe this would be reason enough to give the guy some development and redemption. He was caused to become what he is now by other people and circumstances in some sense, and he, unlike any actual sinners!!!, was actually "good enough" for Heaven. He made mistakes, he had flaws, but he wasn't all bad despite being portrayed like that, he wasn't hopeless, and him being an angel was the proof of that.

But even if he didn't get redeemed, he would've absolutely deserved atleast some character depth and an explanation of why he is like that. Sadly, that obviously wasn't Vivzie's goal, and probably won't ever be. (I still do have a slight hope that Adam will come back in some way once, though that's mostly just desperation on my part and me being delusional lol)

Wow anon, you really went off here. I understand. I also have Thoughts™

See, I am in a bit of a difficult position, because I see most things as, well, as they are. On one hand, yes of course I believe that Adam absolutely deserves a redemption story, or if not that, at least more story, ya know? On the other hand, I understand Adam's narrative purpose for the show and what the big picture is. I also understand the writing flaws of the show and how maybe one explanation is just that, the writers don't have that big of a scope in mind lol.

But also there are limitations that are outside of their control. Adam could honestly easily have a complete season to himself with how much potential as a character he has, but Hazbin Hotel is not about him. Yes, it's about redemption, but it's not about his redemption, you know?

And let's be honest, most of the potential that fanon usually attributes to him is mostly based on the real biblical character that he's "based" on. If he was just a shitty angel with a shitty motive with some shitty beef with Lucifer and hell, I don't think as many people would've cared this much about him. But I also feel like Adam being THE Adam from the bible was more like.... An adendum. Like they knew they wanted a main angel antagonist, and then just went "oh wouldn't it be cool if it was Lilith's ex husband too lol" and then rolled with that.

As for Adam being a good person once, trust me, that is also my headcanon, it's one of my favorite headcanons in fact, but... I wouldn't be surprised at all if it wasn't like that.

I think Adam was a good person once because of all the reasons you listed, but one of the reasons why they made Adam such a shithead is, yeah so he can work as a fun villain, but it's also to shed light on Heaven's hypocrisy and the fundamental problems of the system. It also serves to highlight how ridiculous Heaven is for allowing someone like Adam in for being privileged from the start, but not allowing the people in Hell who are arguably not worse than Adam. Adam isn't only a villain, he's also showcasing the issues of Heaven and their double standards.

And on the subject of the writing process, sometimes for shows like these, it's completely possible that the writing team is aware of how good of a character Adam is, it's highly likely that they've seen the sinner Adam AUs and all the love he's gotten since the show ended, and some of them probably agree that it would be an awesome story! .... But they still had to choose not to do it.

Again, at the end of the day, Adam is not a core part of Hazbin or its themes. Sure, he could represent redemption, but we're also kinda doing that with Angel and Pentious and maybe with other characters. They can't tell EVERY character's story because that just goes outside of the scope of the show. So, they need to prioritize Angel, or Husk, or maybe even Alastor if he gets some sort of redemption too. The show has a set of main characters and it has to put them before the villains, specially when they didn't even know if they'd get a season 2 (or how many more seasons they're going to get). The main cast is already a bit underdeveloped and I can't imagine them cutting even more of that for the vulgar, genocidal villain.

It's hard being an Adam fan that also has a vague idea of how shows and writing work lol

[elenauaurs]

“As members of a society that pursues peace, harmony is strictly necessary. Please try to see it this way: Just as a contract is only made with mutual consonance, Those who lack the ability—or rather the brilliance—to maintain their usefulness and cooperation are not befitting in this society... And my role, you ask? To reshape them all until they fit”

A mysterious figure among the IPC Strategic Investment Department, responsible for the role of disciplining their fellow co-workers and representing Diamond.

Bort can be described as an cunning individual and extreme perfectionist, although ironically they committed several rule breaks for the sake of showing their worth. They are straight-forward about their goals and ideals, believing that people who have no contribution to society have no place in it. Surprisingly, they have some empathy for these people and wish to help.

In the IPC, Bort is not considered a being of his own with freedom and rights, but rather as an extension of Diamond's power—That said, despite being part of the IPC, they are not exactly one of the ten stonehearts and occupy some of the roles of Diamond.

(Click on the image for better quality)

When Diamond decided to remove all his impurities and imperfections in the form of a shining meteor, a being made of stone was created from the collision of that meteor against the ground.

Bort is a strict person, known for always keeping a somewhat dull smile on their face and correcting their department's mistakes. They are normally reserved, however a person with great aptitude in social matters. Despite being considered obedient and intellectual by their peers, Bort actually has a hard time understanding their own feelings and negligence them, preferring to follow orders than worry about this silly things.

Before being completely under Diamond's command, Bort was responsible for missions on very dangerous planets and ended up developing an obsession with battles and now is very angry at not being able fight as much as they did in the past.

"They are extremely smart and pleasant to talk to, but it is a dangerous trait... They always preferred satisfying their intellectual curiosity, over using his skills for the benefit of others"

- Unknown Senior Manager

. . .

VOICELINES

First meeting

"Bort" of the illustrious IPC's Strategic Investment Department— or, as those closest to me refer to me, Ballas—is at your service. To whom do I owe the honor, my dear nameless companion?

Greeting

Straighten your posture, lift your head and leave behind any trace of laziness before greeting someone. Never underestimate the importance of body language—as a Trailblazer, you will certainly need it.

Parting

In a formal meeting, time is meticulously measured, from hours to milliseconds. I usually don't mind it... However, I'm your presence i feel like time is… too fast. Sigh… What a pity.

About Self: True Desire

What do I truly desire? Uh, well... that's rather a silly question. Anything that Diamond wants too. If he's happy, i'll be more than satisfied. :)

About Self: Old Self

I no longer recall what I was like, but that's only natural. If i expect a lot from others, I must hold myself to the same stantard, even if it means sacrificing who I truly am.

Chat: Food

I have often heard about the benefits of food, not only for bodily functioning but also for overall well-being. Personally, I have never savored the pleasure of eating, and in my form it's unlikely that I ever will... So, I kindly ask you to accept this money and buy some food. Even though I won't enjoy it with you, I'll feel happier seeing you healthier.

Hobbies

Even though I don't need it, I take great pleasure in sleeping. It makes all the worries of the world disappear for a brief and comfortable moment

Annoyances

The intense feeling of failure, especially when others have high expectations of you, can be incredibly... infuriating. I feel powerful under the pressure they put on me, but I can't help but feel an inexplicable pain in my chest...

. . .

Ok, it ended up being a bit big because I ended up getting excited hshqhdhwhdha

There are still many things left to say about them, such as their backstory and their relationship with other people like Aventurine, Topaz, etc... But that's for another post

I ended up changing a few things slightly from the little intro I made previously so... Here are some curiosities

They are genderless

They can't eat, drink, have no organs but can sleep for lore reasons

Sometimes they give off a weird vibe to others so no one messes with them

They are dependent on Diamond

They like fish and stars!

(and also, the phrase I left below the cut comes from houseki no kuni)

[littledollll]

Hello my love, do you do brienne of tarth fics? If so, could you do one where reader is a princess and brienne is her bodyguard? And reader is convinced that no one will ever truly love her because of past partners and only icky men are interested in her cause she's a royal and women never even look at her, or at least not past the fact that she's a princess; so she can kinda just throws herself at people in tries to love people into loving her until Brienne eventually confesses and they kiss and it's a littlw angsty and emotional?

I do, my lady

Bodyguard Brienne x princess!reader

Warnings: uhh none?

A/n: im am speed. This came to me actually pretty quickly which I’m happy about, I like it but I don’t love it so I sure hope it’s good enough! Also it’s kinda short, I’m running so low on ideas for writing Brienne so I’m very sorry!

“All the men are either pervs or assholes and the women don’t care about anything other than the fact I have a damn crown on my head sometimes- I mean it’s stupid! I thought girls were supposed to be better!” You were laying on the floor looking up at Brienne as you ranted while she made adjustments to her armor. She only hummed and continued working.

You sighed. “Do you know how many dates I’ve gone on and have had arranged-“ “Around 7 if I remember correctly.” She stated, turning her head and arching a brow at you. “Are you judging me?” You frowned. “No, not at all, my lady, you simply questioned it like I didn’t join you in every single one” she chuckled when you visibly came to the realization that, that was indeed true. “And none of them have worked out, everything feels so fake! What if I never find love!”

“I don’t want to be lonely forever.. isn’t it simply human to yearn for human connection? Affection and company? I just have horrible luck. I’m tired of seeing tons of happy couples all around while I’m just sought out for power or- you know.”

“I doubt that will be the case, and yes, it’s very human, something a lot of people want, princess, unfortunately a lot of people can be shallow, what’s important to you may not be important to them.” Brienne peaked your interest with that. “Why do you say that? are you implying some big strong man is gonna come around and give me everything I ever dreamed of?”

Shaking her head, amused, she looked down at you. “Are you comfortable there?” “Quite actually- hold on don’t change the subject.” Brienne smiled and turned back to working on her armor. “Some people seek power in life because they think it’s the way to happiness, you want human connection, love and care. It’s traits a lot of people look for, you just haven’t noticed.”

“Point me out a single person who thinks that way so I can throw myself at them.” Brienne sighed. “Maybe you’re going all wrong about it, find somebody you really like, not just anyone you might have a chance with, somebody with existing connection, a person you can and want to talk to and be around.” You whined. “I’m desperate.” “There lies your mistake. You can’t force a bond, with all due respect my lady, wanting somebody and wanting love are two very different things, I’m afraid you want the latter.”

“Is that so wrong?” Again, she shook her head. “No, I think it’s close minded though, no offense, you should focus on wanting a connection with somebody than a relationship with anybody. Surely you know you’re worth more than that.” Humming, you turned around to lay stomach down, sitting up on your elbows. “None taken. When’d you get so good at this love advice?”

You noticed how flustered she got, and then proceeded to ignore your question. “It’s getting late. Would you like me to escort you back to your room?” You stood. “Nu-uh answer the question is The Brienne of Tarth... falling for someone?!” “Frankly that’s none of your business.” Her cold reply made you flinch. “Right. Well goodnight then.” Sucking in a breath she turned around. “I’m sorry. That was cold and rather rude of me forgive me, my lady, stay I will walk with you when you truly wish to leave.”

“You’re lucky you’re you” you smiled sitting back down. “Oh do I get privileges? Or pity points.” You pouted. “None do the above.” you walked over to her. “You’re lucky I like you.” She didn’t think much of it after she said it, but you did. “You like me?” She nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, you’re talkative and energetic, you really do have a kind heart and pure intentions, and all you really want is to be loved, I think that makes you wonderful..”

Briennes eyes widened when she realized what she just did, then she refused to meet your own, opting to just stay quiet until you said something or left. “Brienne-“ she interrupted you. “I’m sorry. That was- I don’t know I just spoke and I didn’t register what I was saying until I was done. I apologize.” You tilted your head searching her eyes, only to find embarrassment and adoration in them, you cupped her face and made her look at you. “Don’t apologize for that. You made me realize something.” She nodded, quiet and confused. “Do you really mean it?” Again a nod. “I do, my lady.” And you kissed her.

[batsplat]

welcome back casey stoner !

https://www.tumblr.com/verdemint/761549873456775168/same-interview-they-asked-him-how-does-he-deal

(link)

asjddkh SEE this is what I'm talking about!! something about those incredibly neurotic ducati champions, eh. in the post linked above, pecco's talking about how he deals with media pressure... which, yeah, pecco and casey really do share a fair bit of competitive dna there - from the insistence that it doesn't affect them whatsoever to how they do in fact get extremely pissy whenever they feel misrepresented by the media. very sensitive to that kind of thing, those two are... but at the same time they're also both their own harshest critics. from casey's autobiography (all quickly nabbed from this post, which ofc expands on casey's perfectionism):

I got a lot of criticism over the years for being honest because I always felt I could do better. Even if I won the race, if I had made mistakes it was important for me to admit them and address them for next time instead of congratulating myself for being the best on that particular day.

and:

Whatever challenges I take on now I am still driven by the same quest to improve - I can’t change who I am. As a personality trait this is both a good thing and a bad thing. I like that part of me but it would be nice to not be like that sometimes, to enjoy something without being obsessed with getting better at it. I am sure you can go through life a lot happier if you don’t analyse everything.

versus pecco:

The strength that I've proved in various situations comes from the fact that I am extremely critical of myself, and so it only takes a little bit for me to put myself down even more.

like yeah I suppose that's one way of looking at it - nobody else can get to you if you're already tearing into yourself. it's a motivational process that's very much built on negativity, right, on the need to live up to their own exacting standards. both pride themselves for their ability to put failures behind them quickly - to be able to immediately bounce back because they tell themselves they only care about doing better in the next race. plus, there's that interesting dynamic where both are like... pretty big on this idea they're not making excuses for themselves, committed to honestly assessing themselves and all that,, BUT also have reputations for being whiny to the press... because people for whatever reason end up thinking they're constantly blaming everything but themselves for their shortcomings. again, very prone to feeling misunderstood!! neither of them are necessarily terrible communicators - but there's a certain reluctance there (obviously more so from casey) to even play that game at all. mix in a learned wariness because they feel like they've been burned before.... that whole pecco episode last year where he said one reason for the increased injury rate is probably because the field is tighter now (which, yes! seems logical!) ,,, and then some unholy combination of clumsy phrasing, media framing and an ungenerous fan response ended up translating that to pecco saying he wanted satellite bikes to be slower again... gave me real casey vibes lol. casey had a fair few of those episodes himself - though at least the news cycle and social media fandom weren't quite as bad back then. in a lot of ways he'd struggle even more nowadays

also,, you do have to mention - they both end up defining themselves against valentino specifically when it comes to their public personas. casey might be the rival and pecco the mentee, but both of them have been clear that they do not desire to be the next valentino rossi. kinda what I said here, right

idk, obviously pecco had a heads-up a little earlier than casey did that sensibly communicating to the media WAS going to be a big part of the job. but there's still a wariness there, an unwillingness to be something they're not, knowing that they'd be miserable trying to match valentino's particular brand of flamboyance... it is key that it is a choice they're making. they just don't want that for themselves, never have. there's only ever so much outreach they're willing to do

also this

“Stoner and Bagnaia are two different riders, but they have the same mental attitude,” Tardozzi told AS. “I think Pecco is still growing. He already took a big leap by winning the championship, but the biggest jump in his head has been done this year, after the two falls in Argentina and Austin. “He is an intelligent boy and has spoken a lot with the team, and what happened has made him take another step to make him even more of a champion. Now he has the right mentality. Pecco will become one of the greats. Right now it is showing that he is growing, as I told you before."

'resilience' is I think a word I associate quite strongly with both of them. they take their fair share of punches, do tend to get called mentally fragile a lot - but in truth there's a steel there that serves them well. did talk a little bit about the similarities of their motivational processes here too:

and

and one other thing I've been thinking about is that this... y'know, use of spite, of self-criticism, of how annoyed they get at others' criticisms - for both of them, it is also paired with a determined refusal to countenance they could be mentally affected by anything. with casey in particular, it's a bit of an overcorrection in response to how often he was described as mentally weak; it's understandable you might get extremely sensitive about the whole thing, if you weren't already. a lot of it is also stubbornness... a bone-deep contrarianism that immediately makes them push back if somebody suggests they might struggle for any reason related to psychology. where this really jumps out is how they talk about their rivals. obviously, nobody is going to say that their opponent's mind games work on them because that'd be deeply stupid to admit - but there is something about pecco's firm insistence marc's mind games don't have a hope of working on him that is really reminiscent of how casey has talked about valentino. it's that dynamic of ,, well, they're not wrong in that they're stronger than people give them credit for, but obviously they are also. like. extremely defensive, past the point of necessarily being reasonable. sometimes, what your rival does will affect you. that's kinda how rivalries work lol. but both of them are very committed to this narrative that their working process is super self-directed. casey's whole thing about how he's never gotten obsessed with rivals, pecco's 'we work in silence' schtick... it comes back round to the relationship with the media, right, where they have a natural inclination towards framing that as an oppositional dynamic - and automatically chafe against any narratives that might be externally imposed on them. actually, you see, rivals don't affect their performance at all, they don't need to constantly slobber to the press to hype up their performances, they'll do their talking on-track... but the unspoken truth there is that all of those things do matter, they are paying a lot of attention - and in the end, 'proving a point' to someone becomes a central part of the motivational process. they hear all the criticisms, they seethe in 'silence' (often involves a fair bit of public complaining but let's allow it), and then they determinedly show how all their critics were fools and losers. rinse and repeat

anyway yeah apparently that's part of the ducati magic - a dash of neuroticism, a heavy dose of self-flagellation, inject a desire for authenticity that might at times read as whiny, stir in the makings of a persecution complex and top it off with a sprinkling of spite. probably not the easiest type of guy to handle, but clearly there's something to the formula. a compelling approach to be sure

[aotopmha]

Oh hey, the second good scene with Zenos in Endwalker.

Exaggerations aside, I was so grateful for this scene because I'm one of those of the opinion that he should've stayed dead in Stormblood and all we've gotten out of Zenos within Endwalker up to this point is him wanting to fight you.

*Technically* that's all he is in Stormblood, too, but at this point he's been dragged along with the story for almost another 2 expansions.

I kind of at least want *something* more out of him.

And, well, at least now his one-mindedness got just a little more depth.

He basically says, well, people are all self-righteous assholes, who want to change the world in their image and call themselves heroes for it, so I'm at least not going to pretend and be honest about what I want, which is a fight with the WoL because fighting is the only thing that makes me feel something.

Loss of life is loss of life and bad regardless of the reason it happens.

The issue with this is that you can say it about every single person ever trying to do any good in the world and even more so for flawed people trying to do good in the world.

So should we just stop trying to do any good because everyone might have a personal or imperfect reason for it?

Yes, self-awareness is absolutely a very good trait to have when you aren't perfect and have made mistakes before and so is self-reflection regarding your actions, especially if it involves doing bad to do good, which can be a slippery slope.

But this is the repeat of the Elidibus scene in terms of morality: despite him giving you a lecture on the morality of your actions, he is also a perpetrator of multiple genocides.

Fact is, sometimes bad things have to be done in the name of good because there is evil in the world that does not listen to reason and needs to be stopped.

A response to this would be the idea of good and evil being relative to someone's flawed perspective, but I like to stay grounded and say, maybe killing millions isn't much of a matter of perspective, especially if they are all equally sentient.

I think therefore I am and all.

I've seen people bring this up in response to the characters forgiving villains and the like, but to me the key here is that Zenos could... y'know choose to just not kill lots of people.

Gaius backs his words with action. Fordola backs her words with action. Nero goes under this, too. Redemption is earned, not given out arbitrarily. This story is incredibly consistent with that at least, but even if it wasn't, people will always be imperfect in some way, so even Alphinaud still qualifies under this considering his mistakes and attitude during A Realm Reborn.

No, a good reason is not "better". Emet, Hermes, Elidibus, all had "good reasons", but not once was what they ended up doing framed as (or said to be) "good, actually".

You can empathize without excusing.

Alisae's response is also really good; Zenos will probably never actually find "true fulfillment" with the principles he laid out, a path of violence is generally also a path of loneliness, and the truth is he, too, seeks some sort of connection via wanting to fight the WoL.

Violence is just the only way he can express this wish to connect with someone.

I also like this scene for Jullus getting to say his piece.

A solid scene before the hell that is 80% of the lvl 88 quests.

(Finished all of the lvl 88 quests today, so more posts are probably coming about them. I'm also probably Endwalking tomorrow, depending on how everything works out.)

[bru1sed-apple]

Zuko: a character either babied or treated like an adult

Before we start I wanna say that it's been awhile since I've consumed anything canon so if I make any mistakes or misremember something, feel free to correct me.

One of my biggest issues with the atla fandom is how zuko is treated. either he's treated like someone who has never done anything wrong or is treated like he's an abuser whos only personality traits are being bratty and annoying.

being in the fandom, I read a lot of fanfics, one of my biggest issues is Zuko being insanely babied. zuko is NOT a character who's done nothing wrong. he's done so many terrible things.

he's been a terrible person throughout the show. even throughout book 3. he's not a good person. plain and simple. I'm saying this as a person who really enjoys him as a charcter: Zuko is not a good person. He has done bad things.

another thing I want to touch on is people saying Zuko is powerful. he's not. it's really that simple. throughout the whole show zuko is shown to be pretty weak. he's still doing basic forms as a 16 year old. no he's not stronger then aang. the only reason he defeated Azula was because she was going through a mental breakdown.

he's not strong. by calling him strong you are taking a part of his character away from him.

yes aus are fun, yes I enjoy them. but that doesn't mean people should call that canon. it's not.

the other thing I see people do is call him evil, which he's not. he's a teenage boy who was abused and was raised on propaganda. the things he does is because of how he was raised and what beliefs he grew up with. no that doesn't make it okay and no I'm not trying to diminish his wrongdoings.

he's 16, and the only things he knows is what he was taught. he is not evil simply because he did bad things. he's simply a person trying to do better.

People want to act like he never went through any character development. he did, he grew as a person and learned that what he was taught wasn't good. yes by the end of the series, he's still not a good person, and that isn't because he's evil, it's because he's still growing as a person.

so no he's not evil, he was a bad person because he grew up around adults who failed him. he did bad things because he didn't think they were bad. he did the things he did to show his father that he was worthy of his love.

zuko is not a child. he's not a baby. he's a bad person who has done bad things. he's not powerful, he's not stronger then aang or azula.

zuko is also not an adult. he's not evil for doing bad things. he's the way that he is because of abuse and propaganda.

what zuko is a teenage boy who grew up surrounded by propaganda. he's neither evil nor a good person. he's simply a person who's trying to do better.

-

genuinely I hope my ramblings made sense. I hate when people mischaracterize zuko, he's such a complex character and I love that about him.

hope this may change some opinions or maybe not idk lol

it's 1 am and I'm sooo tired, hopefully there's not to many spelling mistakes lol

[lullaebies]

What the differences between aegon&helaena in the book compare to what we got in the show, and why do you think that their show!portrayal isn't good? (Didn't read the books)

Let me start this ask by saying that I am a biased blog to ask this and while I try to be objective, I highly rec reading the book and forming your own opinion on the matter. I will list here what I think didn't work in the show, but this is only my opinion from my point of view. This will be a very long ask - apologies. warning as well for spoilers.

Let's start with Helaena because she's a lot easier to go over. The issues with Helaena imo is not that she's better written in the books, she isn't - she has little lines and moments there too, but the problems are as such: she is described as an entirely different person in the books, and while the show is supposed to elaborate on the characters they adapt because the books describes historical figure and hence doesn't have much characterization, the additions to Helaena's character are very shallow and aren't fleshed out at all.

Helaena is not a dreamer in the book, nor does she have some evident hyperfixation on bugs or any neurodivergent traits that we know of. Now these additions would be lovely in the right hands! They even are lovely now, but the neurodivergent rep is tropey (autism comes with superpower trope), and not well done because don't give her much personality beside it. The dreamer plot is nice but overtakes her entire character because practically 95% of her lines are prophecies. We do not see her reacting to any pivotal event in a way that remotely expresses an opinion except "I feel uncomfortable" or "I feel happy."

In the books, we are told she's an active mother, we are told she has had a seat on Aegon's war councils to advocate for peace, we are told she is liked by the smallfolk to some capacity and had a happy personality overall. We are also told she is a bit plumper which is worth mentioning in this section - because everything I just wrote are things that practically erased from the show. So, people are rightfully upset - the Helaena we were described, despite being ingrained in traditional feminine roles, was an active person with her own thoughts and life, and her relatable/more admirable characteristics were erased in favor the show!personality that isn't in accordance to the text and isn't fleshed out enough in order to have her matter to the wide audience. I went on rants before about how she has been made solely a victim and nothing more but I will not get into this here.

As for Aegon, the issue lies with framing, entirely reduced screentime and lack of exploration of young!Aegon in a sympathetic way, the way they actively did not write scenes for him that are positive and have seemingly taken out the cores of his arc and made them not matter.

Aegon II is not a good person in the books, either, do not mistake it. He is not any better of a husband or a person and for his part as a father we don't really know how he was with the kids. That being said, the show has decided to make his absolute worst caricature of him, while taking away any positive quality he could have had or any relatable point to him.

Sunfyre, his dragon, is a big thing for Aegon - he loves the dragon. His sigil is made after Sunfyre. We may not know how involved Aegon was in his children's lives, but we know he raged enough at their demise he wanted to burn Dragonstone to the ground. We also know that Aegon took up the crown in order to defend his family, which is something the show neglected to say. Sunfyre and Aegon's children are two things that in Ep9 appparently Aegon is willing to leave behind to go away on a ship to Essos. It's egregious how butchered he is.

In the books as a child, he didn't get along with the Strong boys - he certainly didn't bully Aemond even if there was rivalry there. In the books, he didn't start the fight at the last supper by sexually harrassing Baela, and in fact, he was the one who got into a fistfight with Jace over the dance with Helaena. This is not about a ship moment here - but the fact the choice was made to make him seem as the instigator in every turn is not only crazy but also extremely unempathetic to him. He has reasons to be angry, you can glean them off of the text - even if it's jealousy, that makes sense - but no, in the show he's just a cunt who is the manifestation of all evil. The fact that we consistently see him naked (as a child, too!!) to portray him as a deviant is unsubtle and has no decorum about it.

He is consistently shown to be the devil in his family despite also being very much a victim in his own circumstances and the hypocrisy does not jive with me. I will not comment on the choice to make him a full on rapist because frankly that is not beyond his character in the books, but for a show that wants people to be conflicted, it was a damn bad choice, especially as other horrible actions to the smallfolk are not nearly as demonized when other characters make them.

Basically, all empathy escaped the writers when they decided to write him, it seems. Most his empathetic lines seem to come from improv by Tom Glynn Carney. They simply chose the worst possible way to go with him, took away the parts of him that made him sort of likable (using this word generously) and left him with self-depreciation that makes him so passive that he has to have his ass dragged to the throne instead of Cole or Aemond convincing him. It's just very clear the writers do not like him, basically. He has his downfalls but he is still human - he still could've had a decent arc and understandable reasons to most of what he does in better hands.

So basically, these are my thoughts. Sorry for the length again, but you did get me on a day where I needed to vent LMAO. Thank you for the ask.

[terraliensvent]

Ok civ's response is honestly kinda funny, I should've known only someone equally as delusional could go along with coy's bullshit all this time.

https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/2068868.update

Image link in case it gets deleted: https://imgur.com/a/lDxBSoT

As another unemployed artist the fact they think terra staff "ruined their income" when not only are they absolutely popular enough to make money off their art. They also have coy's audience backing them as well, so this claim is extremely laughable to me. Try having no audience at all and not having a community made up of big spenders from cs communities, then maybe we'll feel a little sympathy.

Or better yet maybe if you and coy contributed an ounce of effort beyond being greedy assholes you'd still be able to make money off the species. But no, clearly they never learn their fucking lesson because every single species they've made eventually gets ruined because of their insistence on running the species according to how much money they can make.

It's genuinely hilarious to me that they both actually think they're the victims in this situation because terra staff finally put their foots down and said they can't keep using the species for money. Go get a damn job if you're that desperate and stop taking advantage of the people who want to actually enjoy the species and especially stop causing issues for the terra staff team who are actually fucking trying despite all the bullshit they've had to go through because of you both.

I'm so tired of them and entitled greedy cs owners in general, I couldn't fathom being this self centered honestly it's sad.

post related

bulletin link

yeah i think im gonna call bullshit on this, lets do a little dissection here

" What they didn't mention was how they banned both coy and myself (even though I had nothing to do with the deletion of the pets/left the conversation civilly before that was discussed), "

even if civ had nothing to do with deleting the pets, i would argue terra staff made the right choice in banning them. what coy did is equivalent to vandalism and can cause further problems if there are issues with code and such. furthermore, wouldnt it make sense to ban civ as well if theyre closely associated and have the power on the account to do more vandalism? civ you werent doing shit for the species other than farting out adopts every week, youll live.

 "..refused to negotiate with us, did not include us in the original discussion about OUR OWN TERMS that were agreed on when we left ownership, and the new owner was unwilling to participate in the discussion originally."

i am SO curious to see what actually went on in staff chat. the conclusion im personally drawing here is that the original discussion occurred in a staff-only chat (somewhere where civ and coy wouldnt be because theyre NOT FUCKING STAFF) and then when the final agreement was reached, they came to civ and coy. maybe they could have gone differently about it but honestly, knwoing now that civ and coy have continually shut down any sort of discussion like this due to their greed (cough cough THIS whole debacle) im not surprised they wouldnt be asked for their two cents.

"Both sides have made mistakes; but the terra staff refused to acknowledge their dishonest and disrespectful actions that led up to this. Had they been willing to compromise and talk to us, this wouldn't have happened. "

again i am just not willing to believe this when civ and coy have a history of being shitty to staff (shall i bring back the receipts?), when cal(tycho) has a history of being a good owner even after the enormous shitshow of what you put him through, when, after you two finally fucked off, things are actually being MOVED FORWARD in the species (like trait guides, new items to allow lim traits, new site assets, all within a timeframe of like. two months. civ and coy had the species for over a fucking year and did nothing. just some food for thought)

like im not going to believe you unless you give adequate proof in the form of screenshots or something. but they probably wouldnt do that because it would most likely show current staff being totally reasonable and you two shitting your diapers over it.

"They silenced me and put their foot down, ruining my source of income as a disabled unemployed artist."

hmm lets crunch some numbers here

you have seven terra adopts that are on your most recent designs tab. presumably you are allowed to keep the money from that because it happened before everything went down

now a lot of these are pretty pricey, the first in the list is $300

however if you go through the rest of their recent designs its all little chibi stuff for around ~$20. that could be a defense for the "wah wah you stole my one source of income" if it werent for the fact these designs almost never go unsold, they have chibi slots open for $45, and they also have fucking isopups to ride the coattails off of. like you will be fine, you have many ways to make money off of your art as opposed to some 10 follower account. this is pop artist bitching at its finest.

and again, it is THEIR FAULT they dont have terra income anymore. how in the world is it fair for them to have more money opportunities than people actively working on the species just because they slapped their names on it.

finally lets do a funny little comment showcase!

people keep equating the old staff team to the new staff team. lets talk about bear, lets talk about kea, lets talk about fucking coy. thats the staff YOU employed, not the people trying to throw together the pieces. you want to again, absolve yourself of all responsibility acting like it wasnt YOUR FRIENDS that YOU picked for the staff team that was causing problems. bear literally caused the first downfall of the species (architechals) and YOUR staff are the ones who ran with it and decided to be petty and immature and make knockoffs. i swear to god this reminds me of people saying shit like "the economy was better under x president!" when the current president inherits the economy of the previous one

jesse please do everyone a favor and just shut up for once, you only care as long as you can profit off of the situation, your wording is so stupid i genuinely lost braincells. civ and coy absolutely do have the means to make money off their art, far more than other people, and the issue with the situation is that theyre making more money off the species than the people actually putting in work to maintain the fucking species, the agreement according to tycho would have STILL allowed them to make more than terra staff but they were too greedy and stupid to just shut up. and to make an ableism argument really just makes me want to bash my head into a wall. civ is not some poor discarded puppy "thrown out in the rain," they have the ability to make a lot more fucking money than most others can off of art, and not to mention they have the ability to use the fans of those they have connections with, like coy or even fucking kea

but in all seriousness, its SO fucking funny to me how theyre acting like civ and coy are some fucking marytrs for terraliens, like they were working sleepless nights to do the best they could each and every day hoping and praying they could make it!! please be fucking for real. again, that species did not even have TRAIT GUIDES for the full calendar year after it was created because civ and coy just didnt give enough of a fuck to do it. listen im gonna ride or die for new staff right now because there is TANGIBLE EVIDENCE of them actually going above and beyond anything ever done under civ and coy. compare #staff-wips from civ and coys reign to now. before, all you would see is adopts. thats it. nothing else just adopts. now, within the course of three months, new staff have come up with unique events, had lore writer, mod, and OA applications, released a new set of forageables THAT GIVE REWARDS, entirely revamped one of the forage areas with plans to do the rest, held the myo compensation event (a feat in and of itself), show CONTINUAL wips of shit actually important to the species (like new items), take in community input, and again, above all else, FINALLY put out trait guides. id say theyre doing fucking leagues more work than civ and coy ever did.

and this is just fucking laughable. ive already made all my arguments, you can see the types of people we are dealing with here. calling jealousy is absurd and downright hilarious

their fanbases need to wake tf up because these people love to victimize themselves and misconstrue shit all day long

[neon-moon-beam]

Regarding Angst and Ableism In The Submas Fandom

Posts I've made explaining why people get burned out on angst, why certain depictions are ableist and how they can have real life impact on people.

I'm reposting this from one of my posts here, because I want these things to be absolutely clear:

These are not callout posts for, nor posts attacking any art, fics, or person in particular.

I am not responsible for bad faith interpretations or other potential misinterpretations of me addressing these issues that have personally affected friends, acquaintances, and myself, should people choose to make these interpretations.

Unknowingly making ableist content does not make you a bad person. Everyone still has things to learn, everyone has room for change and growth. Self-education and critical thinking are very important here (and everywhere). A desire to correct a mistake, change, and grow from it is better all around than digging your heels in and refusing to budge or listen.

I am also not responsible for the reading comprehension or critical thinking skills of others. If you don’t read the entire post and choose to be reactionary towards it, including making assumptions about what was said or putting words in my mouth, I am not at fault (and I will not respond to/block you).

As always, bl*nkshippers are not welcome on my content. And if this boundary offends you, that is not my problem. Do not reblog, reply, DM, or in any way contact me to complain. All that will happen is I will block you.

Please note that while I am a fan of Submas, I never will consider myself in the Submas fandom because of these as well as other issues with the Submas fandom, as well as the direction fandom as a whole has been heading.

Links to the posts themselves:

Please Be Careful About How You Portray Submas: A post breaking down early fanart from when Gen 5 was the most recent compared to recent portrayals, how to spot ableist content, and suggestions in how to handle it.

Submas Portrayal Issues Part 2: Why certain ships come off as ableist, presenting mental illness and abusive relationships as "entertaining", and singling out Submas (but especially Emmet) as "not human".

Addressing Ableism In The Submas Fandom And Its Impact Again: How many people have been impacted since the wake of PLA to the point of not wanting to see any PLA-content, or even Submas content regardless of what it is.

Regarding Angst And Burnout: A personal post on why the constant Submas angst was burning me out, why PLA itself was burning me out, and how it felt like as of April 2022 there wasn't much space for people who aren't fans of angst (I have long since stopped bothering looking in any Submas tags and am not aware of how much angst vs non-angst content there currently is, but I am not interested in checking).

More About Burnout, Setting Boundaries, And Taking Care Of Yourself: Why people are burned out on Submas angst, other situations in fan spaces that cause burnout, and what can be done on tumblr to curate your experience.

Submas...hairstyles?: Short post about how the tendency to show only Emmet with fluffy, unkempt hair, etc combined with other "quirky" traits (especially compared to Ingo) can quickly look like casual ableism.

Neurodivergent People Talking About Ableist Content Striking a Nerve With You? Please Think About Why: Even if you yourself are neurodivergent, everyone can learn and do better.

Emmet is NOT: Exactly what it says on the tin. This has been going on for over a decade. Please interact with the source material in some way and stop reducing Emmet to out-of-character, ableist stereotypes!

Making Submas OOC While Using Neurodivergence As A Prop Harms Real People: Again, please interact with the source material and learn about how coding characters works rather than decide every neurodivergent character that gets intense about a hobby is "y*ndere". And please discern when it may be more appropriate to make an OC rather than make a character OOC.

[minecraftbookshelf]

Mistakes Are Made Chapter One Dialogue Breakdown

This was hard to make it turns out. A combination of "how do i format this" and trying to comprehensively summarize the thought processes and decisions going on. I think this works though.

Honestly, this sort of thing would probably work a lot better as like, a live conversation but we work with what we've got XD

I won't be including every bit of dialogue from the chapter but it will be most of them.

Disclaimer that this isn't a "How To" or any kind of "you should do things this way" this is just an explanation of what I put into my writing, and dialogue specifically. Also that I write in limited first person most of the time, so in a way, all the narration can be considered dialogue and as examples of character voice.

This is also only the first part of a long story that is intended to a) be re-readable and b) involve a lot of discovery as the story progresses, so a lot of the decisions I made are based off of things that will come up/be revealed later in the series. I will be talking about those, sometimes with no helpful explanation, sorry XD

I'm using color coding to specify what parts I'm talking about at any given time, so hopefully that helps.

This is going to be a long, wordy post, its entire point is to be an insight into the intentionality and consideration that goes into writing dialogue for me, if this isn't something you're interested in, absolutely pass it by. It will also likely "take some of the magic out of it" for some people. But I like to think that it might also add a bit more magic to it for others. So here we go!

On with the show behind the scenes! [AO3 Link to the Chapter] if you want to follow along there with more context to the selections.

"Hello, Jimmy!" He manages to clamber out of the fountain without tripping and falling flat on his face at least. He splashes Katherine in the process, where she is hovering off to the side but he can't really be bothered to worry about that. All he can manage to do is stare at Sausage's smirking face. "Hello, Jimmy!" Katherine's greeting is much less mocking

Starting off with the very first dialogue of the chapter, which doesn't occur until a few paragraphs in and then proceeds to be the exact same line said by two different characters.

This is one of the times that I am heavily relying on the fact that I am writing fanfiction and these greetings are words that we hear the characters in question (Sausage and Katherine) say multiple times. So I don't go into much detail with dialogue tags, counting on the reader to fill that in themselves. Even if they/you aren't imagining the exact tones I had in mind its a fairly easy extrapolation that these are said in wildly different tones. The emphasis on Sausage's is to imply the more mocking/antagonistic tone, helped along by the mention of his expression, but can also just convey that its louder and more emotive (As Katherine is trying very hard to be OfficialTM in this chapter) Also describing her greeting as "less mocking" helps fill in the appropriate tone for Sausages retroactively.

"What is he doing here?" He jerks his chin at Sausage, who is still giggling like a child. He sees Jimmy looking and grins at him, all teeth. Behind the mask, Jimmy bares his own teeth and takes some comfort in the knowledge that he has more of them; and they are sharper.

This is the first instance of Jimmy's inhuman body language being used as an extension of the dialogue/conversation between the characters. The use of teeth as a threat being a hybrid trait.

Sausage's smile is also part of this, something that isn't actually said in this chapter but will be demonstrated later on is that, as the ruler of a kingdom with a heavy hybrid population, Sausage knows this and his own body language is chosen accordingly.

Sausage keeps giggling and Jimmy can barely hear it beneath the roar in his ears. He leans down to try and whisper into the faerie queen's ear. "I really need your alliance right now, Katherine." He hopes his desperation doesn't show in his voice. She gives him a reproving look that throws him right back to his brief time spent in a classroom. "I'm allied with everyone, Jimmy. You know that."

This is the first example of really incorporating distinct character voices into the dialogue. I'm a liberal user of italics and in this case I'm using them to indicate emphasis where the ccs tend to stress their words to encourage assigning that voice to the dialogue itself. These are also, if not direct quotes from canon, very similar to actual things the ccs and their cubitos have said so it isn't exactly what I would consider heavy lifting.

Jimmy at this point is still fully informal. He's surprised and he's talking privately to a friend.

This is also more natural dialogue from Katherine, whose exasperation with her friend is partly overcoming her attempts to be Formal Faerie Queen.

I'm trying to keep the early dialogue fairly simple and close to canon voices because that way I can transition slowly and naturally into slightly different voices that suit the atmosphere while also preserving their more casual voices as the way that they talk when they are more comfortable and in less official settings. Setting up the contexts for different manners of speech is a big thing in this chapter overall.

"He invaded the Swamp," Jimmy hisses, his ear-fins flaring, ignoring the shudder down his spine from her use of his Name, even in part. "He crossed our borders. Again. He's threatened war." He's no longer whispering by the end, standing to his full height, shoulders back, sword hand by his shoulder. "And according to him, you've threatened it right back!"

Another instance of emphasis on Jimmy's inhuman body language.

This bit is actually more about Katherine than Jimmy. It does show a bit of Jimmy's sensitivity to magic but more than that, it incorporates Katherine's willingness to invoke her own flavor of threats, even in casual conversation with friends.

This is the first real deviation from canon dialogue in the entire chapter. This is the blending point where I'm taking the characters voices and using them myself instead of just channeling the pre-existing ones. The emphasis for this was important to me to try and keep it Jimmy's voice saying the words.

The body language here is a physical representation of Jimmy's shift from more informal speech to a more tense and emotionally and politically fraught situation.It's also the transition of Jimmy taking this from a private conversation to a more public one, now in earshot of both Sausage and Katherine's guards and staff. He's beginning to speak more as The Codfather than Jimmy and his physical stance is the biggest indication of that.

This is Katherine's last "private conversation" line and is, again, indicative of her frustration with her friends and the situation they have put themselves and everyone else in. It's a fairly sharp statement, geared to indicate that she is not really on Jimmy's side here. ("all sides" = "no sides" and a part of Katherine knows that, even if she refuses to admit it out loud, mostly because it is a role she has trapped herself in and can't leave.)

Sausage recovers quickly and shakes out the fur lining of his coat. "Is it just me or does it smell fishy in here, now?" "Sausage," Katherine looks disapprovingly back over her shoulder. "That's rude." "Oh," Sausage blinks at them both, "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't realize."

Jumping ahead a bit we're in the "polite conversation because political masks" phase of dialogue.

Sausage is Not Being Polite. This is his attempt at "polite rudeness" but he's not very subtle in general so its blatant enough for Katherine to call him out on it. It's also a continuation of Sausage speaking more informally in general. He has something of an upper hand in the situation, and an abundance of bravado, and that is reflected in the way he talks. (Sausage just also has a very distinct voice in general that is already leant towards melodrama which works very well for the au's setting as a whole)

His apology is also disingenuous. In retrospect I should have probably used some italics or some other indicator to help convey that. (I might go back and edit something in. I do that sometimes on AO3. Major edits get notes made at the chapter end but minor fixes happen a lot.) He makes the "apology" and that connects Jimmy to his original statement, even if it hadn't been blatantly obvious.

"Oh, this one is new!" Sausage immediately changes the subject, pointing at one of the skulls hanging on the wall of the hall. It's some kind of middling-sized land animal...a sheep maybe? with poppies filling the eye sockets and woven in a crown, there are delicate lines of gold painted across the surface of the bleached bone. Katherine beams, her irritation at the rudeness forgotten (or at least set aside, fae never truly forget breaches of etiquette) "It is! It's a gift from a childhood friend," she looks fondly upon the skull for a moment. "We've been reconnecting lately." Sausage nods sagely, "It is always good to spend time with your friends." "It is," Katherine's ears twitch and her wings flutter briefly before she resumes walking. "Which is why we are going to fix this."

This is a slightly better attempt from Sausage at maintaining political etiquette by complimenting the host. A distraction and a peace offering.

And this is the first mention of Scott in the chapter, in what I am now realizing (it was not intended that way but here we go) is a context that kind of foreshadows his role of peace offering. It also is an establishing line for Katherine and Scott's relationship, as well as a nod to their short-lived plushie business (my beloved) from canon.(And the adaptation of it that exists in the au, which will come up later in Katherine's backstory at the very least.)

Sausage is being ingratiating here. It's a kind of wink wink nudge nudge "we should be friends and you should do what I want" moment.

Katherine knows what he is doing. This is also an incorporation of Katherine's inhuman characteristics, though a bit more subtly, specifically because this is Jimmy's pov and he is neither familiar enough with her mannerisms to break down exactly what they mean the way his own are, or unfamiliar enough with them to register them as odd and worth commenting on.

And then we have the POV switch to Xornoth

The entirety of Xornoth's external, out-loud dialogue is one single line, but the internal dialogue is their narration of the situation at hand. Ft. "helpful" commentary from Exor.

Xornoth's voice is arguably the trickiest part of the entire chapter as it is the part with the least canon basis. Xornoth is a character I am functionally building from scratch, given that the majority of their canon appearances are arguably as much Exor as they are Xornoth. (at least in the context of this AU)

Xornoth's canon voice (on a purely literal level) is "Scott Smajor with a script and a voice changer" and, on the occasions they are on screen together, "someone else with a script and a voice changer", and then the single epilogue bit.

So I'm working with somewhat stilted, formal speech and a tendency for dramatic declarations.

For this first chapter there was actually a bit more effort put into characterizing Exor, as, despite it being in their pov, the majority of the Xornoth characterization is happening in Chapter Two. (which is also mostly from their pov)

Honestly, this is already really long, I'll probably do the dialogue in the second part of the chapter as a part two, but I do want to put a compilation of Exor's commentary down here to talk about.

I opted to make Exor's dialogue bold instead of italics both to distinguish it from Xornoth's own internal dialogue and to emphasize how unavoidable it is for Xornoth. It's not something they can truly ignore, its too loud in their head.

Meaningless frivolity.

Disparaging commentary on the priorities of the other emperors and Jimmy in particular, leaning into one that Xornoth themself is inclined to agree with.

Do not pretend such reluctance. I see the truth.

Denying Xornoth's knowledge of themself in favor of asserting their own.

You are still only a student. And you will be so long as you refuse to take what is rightfully ours.

Exor's goal is and always has been (as long as Xornoth as known them) world domination. This is his most blatant statement of it, coupled with a disparaging comment towards Xornoth's own authority.

Like a fish on a hook.

Dehumanization with a side of violent imagery.

They are going to hurt themselves, trying that hard to utilize what little intelligence they have.

General scorn towards the intelligence and competence of the other emperors.

If we pinned her wings to the wall like a butterfly and made her watch, that would phase her. If we gutted him like a fish he'd squeal so nicely.

Violence. Rather graphic, worded in a way to make Xornoth/The Reader paint a stronger visual image to accompany it. These are the ones that both Exor (in-story) and I (out of story) designed to have a stronger impact. For Exor its about sowing thoughts in Xornoth's mind and having them doubt themself, for me its about really conveying Exor's intentions.

Rip them all to pieces, give the farmer the fight she wants.

This is a half-step back into a more friendly-aligned bit. Pearl is Xornoth's friend. A war would make her happy! Pearl is not Xornoth's biggest weakness, but she is one and Exor takes as much advantage of that as he can.

Wheat fields burn so easily, all it would take is a single spark in the right place and all of Mythland would be in flames. Carefully, carefully, Xornoth sets their book down on the table beside them and places their hands in their lap. Katherine will stop allowing them to borrow her books if they start spontaneously combusting them. Hopefully she doesn't notice the slightly singed cover.

Arson yay!

With the previous comments designed to rile Xornoth up the invocation of fire is a deliberate reference on my part to Xornoth's powers (with the follow up in the next paragraph) and on Exor's part is a provocation towards losing control/making it harder to stay in control of their powers.

Why do you consistently choose to prove your incompetence.

Even gods that crave violence can be disappointed.

this was equal parts chosen to add to the overall comedy of that exact moment and as a final nod to the way that, while he spends a lot of time tearing down other people in Xornoth's head, he also puts a lot of time into tearing down Xornoth themself.

-

I'm going to leave it there for now, if just because of length. I can come back and make a part two for Xornoth and the other emperors during the second part of the chapter later.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Fall of the House of Usher : Quotes

"- And if anyone, anyone comes after us, we will exhaust our arsenal until the threat's neutralized. - By neutralized, do you mean sued into oblivion, taken out of the Board, out of the will, on the streets... - Neutralized. Like dead. (Episode 1)

"- Algorithms aren't high tech. They've been around since antiquity. An algorithm is just a finite sequence of all defined instructions to solve a problem, or perform a computation." (Episode 2)

"- Nothing worth having is ever easy." (Episode 2)

"- It's better, I promise, in the moment just before than in the moment after." (Episode 2)

"- We need to talk because when people ask, there are some things you absolutely cannot say." (Episode 3)

"- That's why we've a charity wing, so you paste someone's face on it." (Camille - Episode 3)

"- We remember that he did it, so he did it." (Episode 3)

"- Because opportunity doesn't give a fuck what you're going through." (Episode 3)

"- That's why they hate us. Not because we grabbed the opportunity, but because they didn't." (Episode 3)

"- Like, I make video games, you know? (Leo) - You don't make video games. You give money to people who make video games. No, no. An idea is nothing. An idea is fart that your brain makes. But if you patent an idea, well, then it's an asset. (Camille - Episode 3)

"- You're gonna do the smart thing and go back to your crossword puzzle or else I'll have you fired and sued." (Episode 3)

"- What's a six-letter word for "fucked"?" (Episode 3)

"- I'm gonna need you to tell me who the fuck you think you are." (Episode 3)

"- I can hear Camille's voice in my head right now. "Satin is silk for poor people, no one should wear it to a funeral, unless they died in it." Fuck's sake." (Leo - Episode 4)

"- The other go-to coping mechanism in my family. It's when you direct your more intense reactions towards something or someone that doesn't feel threatening. So you get to react and be angry, be abusive, be violent, even, but you don't risk significant consequences." (Episode 4)

"- Denial, displacement, projection." (Episode 4)

" - But see, I wanted something better. Something better for him. For all of them." (Episode 4)

"- A trait of mine that seemed to skip them somehow... sublimation. That is something that is one of the few coping mechanisms that's considered positive. Sublimation is when a person chooses to redirect strong emotions into an object or an activity that's appropriate and safe. So, instead of lashing out at your employees, you pour your energy into kickbox..." (Episode 4)

"- You drive a car like that, you make a statement. About who you are, where you're going, and how you get there." (Episode 4)

"- Now, let's get a drink, huh? It's gotta be noon somewhere." (Roderick - Episode 4)

"- Something in coke for you? You don't want the designer stuff. It's too dangerous." (Leo - Episode 4)

"- Are you mistaking me for a civilian? I'm not a fucking civilian." (Frederik - Episode 4)

"- You're not who I thought you were. Smart girls are only sex until they don't wanna fuck you, and then they're competition, and then what do you do? You take them down a peg." (Episode 5)

"- It's an opportunity. He's underestimated you. That's a gift. A failure of imagination. He sees you as formidable, he locks down, closes ranks, shuts the doors, battens the hatches. You are a face, you're not a mouthpiece, so just smile and shut the fuck up." (Episode 5)

"- Look, I'm shit at preambles. I made a life by getting to the point, so..." (Episode 5)

"- Why is this happening? - Life is insane. It is madness. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be." (Episode 6)

"- Reality's not what it used to be. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. For example.... As those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. (Roderick) - Grandpa, are you okay? (Lenore) - I am. I'm fine. I'm just... It's been quite a week." (Roderick - Episode 6)

"- Men have called me mad But the question is not yet settled. As to whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence." (Episode 6)

"- Shut your mouth, get your shit together. The fuck is wrong with you?" (Episode 6)

"- I don't know anything about anything." (Episode 6)

"- Men are as stupid as they are simple. You're better off. Oh, my God, my first husband. I thought I missed him, but that was just this temporary insanity. This burp your heart goes through. He was fun to ride. Boy. Men, when they think they're immortal, all they want to do is fuck. When they figure out they're going to die, all they want to do is fuck. (Madeline - Episode 6)

"- You don't have to be a tyrant, but if you don't want to be consistently cruel, then you have to be sufficiently brutal at least once to establish authority." (Episode 7)

"- Everything has a price. Every negotiation's a point of entry. Every deal is simply an expression of will. Mutual will." (Episode 7)

"- You're a collection of impeccable, elaborate masks in orbit of a stunted heart. And I understand. You find an adversary, you kill them. You find a hurdle, you jump it or dismantle it. You find a locked door, you pry it open." (Episode 7)

"- Don't be stupid. Can you imagine what that would look like? My own wife trying to get off my own drug. It's a PR nightmare." (Roderick - Episode 7)

"- All soaked with feelings of absolute desperation and dread." (Episode 7)

"- Basically, the closest analogy I can think of is a fish being pulled out of water, only at least the fish gets to die." (Roderick - Episode 7)

"- So, I will take there years of hell over a lifetime with you." (Juno - Episode 7)

"- He and I share that as well. We both understand that... language in its highest expression is musical. What's a poem, after all, if not a safe space for a difficult truth. So there is a limit. (Verna) - No, it's not a limit, it's a standard." (Episode 8)

"- I don't want it, any of it, if it involves serving at some man's pleasure." (Madeline - Episode 8)

"- One of my favorite things about human beings. Starvation, poverty, disease, you could fix all that, just with money. But everyone loves something. And that love there's collateral. (Verna) - No. I have no collateral. Collateral is leverage. And I won't be leveraged. No man or woman has leveraged me in 70 years of life. And I'm not going to cede that ground, not this close to the end." (Arthur Pym - Episode 8)