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cappymightwrite · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on Ned Stark ?

Hi!

I have conflicted feelings on Ned. Probably just below Stannis, he's the Westerosi man most in need of therapy, in my opinion. Actually, that's an interesting comparison — Ned and Stannis, which I know has been commented on before. They're alike in many ways, in terms of reserve etc., which makes the fact that Robert saw Ned as his true brother all the more painful to Stannis (though of course this is never explicitly stated). But anyway, back to Ned.

There's certain things I struggle with in regards to Ned, even though I understand the reasoning behind his actions, or rather, inaction. So, it makes thinking back on him in a wholly positive and fond light somewhat difficult, as I suppose it must be for Sansa in a way, as well as for Jon, once his parentage is revealed. I don't wholly dislike him though, I actually value him a lot, I just take issue with:

Him never apparently trusting Catelyn enough to be honest about Jon's parentage (+ the way he avoids telling Jon, to some extent)

No matter how loving they were... there is this unresolved (and now forever unresolved) barrier at the heart of their relationship, an unequal exchange of trust, which was within Ned's power to lift, to make fully mutual. But he didn't. Now, he had his reasons, self-sacrificing and seemingly honourable as they may appear, and certainly the narrative required this secret to be kept. But even so, in terms of how I regard his character? It rubs me the wrong way because he never gave her the opportunity to sympathise and fully understand him, he cut himself off from that. And yeah, maybe it might not have improved Jon's situation all that much, but he never gave Cat the opportunity to think of him differently, in a way that wasn't dictated by the social mores of their world:

It had taken her a fortnight to marshal her courage, but finally, in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband the truth of it, asked him to his face.

That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice. "He is my blood, and that is all you need to know. And now I will learn where you heard that name, my lady." She had pledged to obey; she told him; and from that day on, the whispering had stopped, and Ashara Dayne's name was never heard in Winterfell again.

Whoever Jon's mother had been, Ned must have loved her fiercely, for nothing Catelyn said would persuade him to send the boy away. It was the one thing she could never forgive him. She had come to love her husband with all her heart, but she had never found it in her to love Jon. She might have overlooked a dozen bastards for Ned's sake, so long as they were out of sight. Jon was never out of sight, and as he grew, he looked more like Ned than any of the trueborn sons she bore him. Somehow that made it worse. – AGOT, Catelyn II

"It was the one thing she could never forgive him" — yeah, me too honey! Ok, sure, we don't know for sure if Cat might have "overlooked" Jon's uneasy place in their household "for Ned's sake", if she knew he was actually her nephew — the world would still believe him to be Ned's, so to outward appearances the awkwardness is still there. And yeah, we don't know if she could have "found it in her to love Jon", but the truth certainly would have made it far more likely! But Ned decided that it had to be this way, that only he could participate in carrying this secret. So, I hurt for Cat AND Jon really.

I get why he doesn't tell Jon the truth. I understand his warped logic, how the trauma of his past informs this sort of self-punishing mentality of I must keep this honourable promise made of love till the day I die even though to the outside world it will appear as a stain upon that very honour... and to punish myself further for failing Lyanna I will never unburden myself to anyone, this is my cross to bear alone. I understand that, it's very manpain-y. But the problem is... it doesn't just punish Ned, it punishes Cat and Jon, and his other children too! Because they are by no means blind to this elephant in the room of their parent's marriage, and it's hard to rationalise:

He looked at her uncomfortably. "My aunt Allyria says Lady Ashara and your father fell in love at Harrenhal—"

"That's not so. He loved my lady mother." – ASOS, Arya VIII

Your father loved your mother, but he also had a child with another woman, whose identity he would never talk about. Your father loved your mother, but his dedication to this secret ultimately trumped being fully honest and open with her. It's hard not to feel that Ned's present came second to making up for the "sins" of his past. This is why he desperately needed therapy, lol, because (to take a line from my Byronic Hero meta) Ned's "traumatic past informs his present life," and to the detriment of that present life and those present relationships as well. But hey, that's the tragedy.

Also, I think his whole I'll tell you the truth when I next see you to Jon is really sketchy, because when exactly might that be, Ned? An avoidance tactic if I ever saw one. But really, I don't think he'd be emotionally equipped to have that conversation anyway... he might have said he'd tell him someday, but deep down, I'm sure he hoped he may never have to. And then he conveniently dies, taking the secret with him (or so we think)!

Allowing the death of Lady

Bran's wolf had saved the boy's life, he thought dully. What was it that Jon had said when they found the pups in the snow? Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord. And he had killed Sansa's, and for what? Was it guilt he was feeling? Or fear? If the gods had sent these wolves, what folly had he done? – AGOT, Eddard IV

"And for what?" Yes, quite. I don't really have much to say on this... I think this passage speaks for itself. There's probably some other things I could talk about, but those are my main two gripes.

That being said... what I value about Ned are his words of wisdom

The thing about Ned, for me, is that despite the unmaliciously meant pain he inflicts on his loved ones (which I do understand the reasoning behind, the trauma that informs it etc)... he's still ultimately a figure of hope to me, a notably flawed, but no less significant, ideal within the narrative too. And I think you need that — we need the memory of Ned as readers, and so do the Starklings. So, I love him more for what he represents, rather than his parenting and lacklustre husbanding skills. I value the fundamental truths he emphasises through his words, and the legacy of those words, embodied within his children.

For example:

"Let me tell you something about wolves, child. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another, keep each other warm, share our strengths. So if you must hate, Arya, hate those who would truly do us harm. Septa Mordane is a good woman, and Sansa… Sansa is your sister. You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you… and I need both of you, gods help me." – AGOT, Arya II

Honestly, people can "squabble" about which Stark sibling is more important, more this, more that, till the cows come home. But that's what it is... "squabbles", and it misses the mark completely about why the Starks are the heart of the series. They are the Starks, plural. They may be different from one another, but they are "pack", and come winter, (TWOW, to be exact), once reunited they will "protect one another, keep each other warm, share [their] strengths", because those are the values Ned taught them.

These are the things to remember, despite all the hellishness. This is why Ned's death wasn't in vain, it wasn't an edgy twist, or the first whiff of grimdark... because his legacy didn't end with him, it lives on, it is felt throughout the series, right up until the most recent book:

"Be that as it may. My father sat where I sit now when Lord Eddard came to Sisterton. Our maester urged us to send Stark's head to Aerys, to prove our loyalty. It would have meant a rich reward. The Mad King was open-handed with them as pleased him. By then we knew that Jon Arryn had taken Gulltown, though. Robert was the first man to gain the wall, and slew Marq Grafton with his own hand. 'This Baratheon is fearless,' I said. 'He fights the way a king should fight.' Our maester chuckled at me and told us that Prince Rhaegar was certain to defeat this rebel. That was when Stark said, 'In this world only winter is certain. We may lose our heads, it's true… but what if we prevail?' My father sent him on his way with his head still on his shoulders. 'If you lose,' he told Lord Eddard, 'you were never here.'" – ADWD, Davos I

I love this line so much, and I love that it comes from Ned, that just as we are gearing up to head into the darkest parts of the series (because Winds is apparently going to be very dark)... we have this light, this hope, this "what if we prevail?" And it's connected to this repeated refrain about the certainty of winter — "in this world only winter is certain" vs. "winter is coming" — which is closely tied to Ned as a character. So, yes, "winter is coming", but don't be decieved into thinking that that spells disaster, that no warmth can be found, for there is always darkness before the dawn, just as there is always a winter before the spring... and in the winter the wolves shall "keep each other warm", they will "prevail."

In conclusion

Whatever his flaws and mistakes, and there are several, at the end of the day... I will love Ned for giving us hope, for reminding the readers, and characters, of what is really important — to take strength from your loved ones, to give them strength in return, and to not give into despair, no matter how harshly the snows might fall and white winds blow. Yes, it's not certain whether they'll live, but likewise, it's not certain whether they'll die either... and that's where you find the hope, the light against the grim dark.

So, for me, he's a character who makes my heart sink, but then he makes it swell again. That's the duality, and it's a choice which you put most stock in... I'll choose the hope he inspires every time ;)

#ned stark #eddard stark #cappy's thoughts #starklings #anti grimdark all the way babeyyyy

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thedeviljudges · 3 years

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Do you think Yohan always planned to fake his death and join Elijah in Switzerland, or did he originally intend to really die with the rest of the 'villains'? Part of me thinks that would fit with his pre-Gaon conception of himself, as a monster, not deserving of love, not necessarily seeing a role for himself in Elijah's life beyond getting revenge for her/Isaac, and financing an opportunity to help her recovery. Or do you think regardless of that, he'd still never plan to leave her on her own?

i didn't mean to put off this ask for so long. i was busy, but i also wanted to wrap my thoughts around this before i tried answering. not bc i didn't have an answer to begin with but yohan and death is a subject i'd like to approach, but i'm not entirely sure how i'd like to make the analysis of it, and i'm not sure i ever will.

so that leaves me to answer it here in the best way i can because point blank: i do believe yohan intended to die by the end. i do think he had two plans in place since the beginning (dying or not dying and helping elijah), but of course, until that final moment, he wasn't ever going to know the truth. that end scene of him blowing up the court was a 50/50 shot. he had a plan to make it out, but it wasn't a guarantee.

but lets also back up a bit because before we get to that point, i think it's necessary to point out that the reason yohan gets away and does all of the shit that he does is because he knows that he might not make it out alive. it's why he's reckless. it's why he bends the law the way that he does. yohan's actions prove, over and over again, that he does not care for himself. he does not care to live except to protect elijah. there are so many small moments of this. we call yohan unhinged out of fun, but i think there is truth in it because i've mentioned this casually before (and part of my words above in terms of not necessarily knowing how to approach this just yet) is that yohan is almost...... suicidal himself.

he's reckless. he's said that he does not care about the actual law. his goal has always been getting revenge for his brother, especially for his niece who grew up without her parents. yohan never truly cared about the bigger picture until gaon came along. if we leave out gaon and think of the plot as such, yohan would've been able to prevail much quicker, i'd say. he had a plan and was going to follow through with it no matter what, regardless of the ending. and he knew going into it that there was a chance he wouldn't make it out alive.

which is why i think he partially also allowed elijah to blame him for her parent's death because if she hates him, it will be so much easier for her to forget him. she won't mourn him or miss him. she will be able to move on with her life and live it any which way she wants. but because yohan doesn't really understand kids, let alone elijah, what he fails to realize is that elijah doesn't actually hate her uncle. she's looking to get rid of all of the pent up hurt and frustration bc she never had an outlet to let all of that out. yohan fails to see that elijah cares for him and would miss him, to a degree, if he died.

so now, if we think of the plot with gaon, it twists everything on its head bc gaon has no need to be there within yohan's plans. yohan doesn't need gaon to do anything bc everything was already planned from the beginning. if anything, gaon came in and crashed some things, leaving yohan to pick up those pieces and continue pushing forward. biggest case in point, gaon's stubbornness and his arguments against yohan with the law and what he's doing.

see, gaon eventually comes to realize yohan's reasonings for doing what he's doing for his brother, but i feel like gaon thinks that even if that is part of yohan's plan involves revenge, how much does he think yohan is also doing this for the greater good and wanting to fix society? we know that yohan has no intention of that, but does gaon? and so no wonder gaon protests because if he thinks yohan is trying to fix a broken system (plus get revenge all in the same plot), no wonder gaon continues fighting yohan - he's under the belief that yohan is trying to make things better. but he's NOT.

which circles back to the idea that yohan had every intention of either making it out alive or dying. gaon opened his eyes that yes, maybe things could possibly be good. gaon made yohan question a lot of things along the way, especially his own humanness and realizing that he is worth something and not the monster he let himself believe he was, and what others told him he was. that wasn't part of the plan either, which is why it made it so much harder for yohan to go through with bombing the court because yohan's at a conflicting place of finally understanding gaon's hope but knowing that he only ever had revenge as an intent.

yohan's plan is derailed a bit by gaon being hope and introducing concepts yohan has lived without for so long. before then, yohan lived isolated with one clear goal in mind until gaon showed him he had a reason to live. i also said in another post that while gaon stopped yohan because he didn't want to see yohan going down a path he couldn't come back from, it was already too late at that point. yohan had already set his path long before gaon came into the picture and nothing he said or done would've changed that. but it DID given yohan more perspective and more heart, possibly being at peace even more so with dying knowing elijah would have gaon.

but instances within the show - of course, his two fake deaths. him steering gaon and himself off the road on the middle of the highway. him chasing after the minister's son. yohan asking soohyun to save gaon despite him literally bleeding out.

yohan does not care for himself. he does not care whether he lives or dies, as long as his plan is completed. we can talk til we're blue in the face about how yohan was wrong manipulating the law like he did and various other things, but the reason why? is because he did not care. and it wasn't because of him being a sociopath by any means. it was because he numbed his emotions, lied to himself, and used his love for his brother and elijah to propel him to a desired end with the possibility of his death involved. and quite frankly, that speaks volumes about who he is and just how much he actually cares, how much he actually has emotions.

yohan, to love his niece so much he decided to manipulate the law, to serve his own agenda and purposes for an outcome that wouldn't actually give them that much peace, but would at least position the country in a way they could grow and give elijah a life where she wouldn't have to grow up into that kind of destruction. this is why yohan "leaves" gaon behind and why gaon is the hope of the show because in going along with his plans, yohan realized that if gaon wasn't going to follow him through til the end, if he was going to do everything in his power to stop yohan, then the biggest apology yohan could give gaon was the world - the entire judicial system to make things right, to do better. that was yohan's gift to gaon and his apology because yohan had no intention of making it better. but maybe gaon could with him gone.

i've seen a few comments about how if yohan was someone in irl, we'd all steer clear of him, well, there's a lot of characters out there like that, but i wouldn't stay away from him for the reasons everyone typically lists (like the choking and manipulation) because they think he's that way just bc. yohan's actions mimic those of someone who simply doesn't care because they're depressed and not because they're psychotic. there is a DIFFERENCE. like yes, are some of his actions shitty? and his gaon right to mistrust the things he does sometimes, also yes.

but understand that there is a difference in people's behaviors depending on the underlying mental health issues involved. i don't fully believe yohan had any intent to hurt elijah or gaon maliciously. it's part of yohan being oblivious and not recognizing his own actions mixed with the entirety of his plans to be followed through til the very end. we've seen how oblivious yohan can be (the classroom bird story is a classic example; they all thought he was the devil when in reality, this kid only hurt the bird because it was scaring the girl he sat next to. logically, that mean eliminating the threat. he didn't purposefully kill the bird and enjoy it. it was a practical response within his own personal world).

i feel like i'm missing parts of this discussion, which is why i said this was a difficult topic for me to approach just to get all of my thoughts about it out there. and long story short to answer your question: i think yohan intended to die (just like he had a plan in case went to jail, for example). that possibility couldn't have been ruled out. but i think he had the plan to escape with elijah so that she could get better. either way, whatever happened happened, even if he died. elijah would be taken care of regardless.

gaon throws a wrench in his plans just a little bit, makes him realize his emotional capacities but gaon's not enough to stop yohan from seeing his plans out until the very end, even if that means losing gaon, too, because even if gaon has shown yohan that he is worthy of love and family and affection, it is not enough to forgive everything he's done, and he needs to make right what was wrong. yohan's death in that courtroom, if it had happened, wouldn't be the thing everyone needed to forgive him for his actions but it would be a start in eliminating himself as part of the problem.

another thing to keep in mind, is that we know yohan is not a sociopath, even if that's what everyone wanted us to believe. everyone thought he made sunah jump out the window, but what he was actually doing was protecting isaac and his mother's necklace. sunah made the choice all on her own, set up yohan and framed him despite yohan reaching out time and time again. isaac didn't even understand what had happened and focused on the fact that this girl jumped because of yohan without listening to the truth of it. yohan has always been shown to be fiercely loyal to the people he loves. he's never directly done anything bad (at least as a kid) unless he was provoked.

what people need to understand about yohan as a character is INTENTIONS. and i hope i'm making myself clear on this. everyone thinks he's born a devil, but that has never been the case. yohan's actions just come from a place from blind revenge. if he never needed to get revenge in the first place, if isaac was alive and well, would yohan make these same decisions? would he still be this kind of person who needed to use these methods to work around the law? i don't think so.

i think i remember getting an ask awhile back about whether yohan would eventually turn into who he is now had isaac lived because we see him livid and upset during that flashback to one of his earlier court cases (where we find he's ripping the paper with the pen) and whether or not isaac's death just fast forwarded the process. i don't feel like trying to go dig that post out, and i can't remember what i said on it either, but i feel yohan would have his family as a moral compass to keep him in line, and he wouldn't have succumbed to his present-day tactics. i think he could've worked his way up into the system and made real change. i think his heart could've been there all long, but again, was derailed by isaac's death and of course, plans changed.

this was a mouthful, and i hope what i'm saying makes sense because you can probably see what i mean about how difficult it is trying to organize my thoughts about this subject. but i am under the full belief that yohan had every intention of dying at the end or even before that. i think he's a depressed individual who learned to slowly open back up with gaon's help, but gaon is no doctor and no amount of his kindness would help someone that depressed either. it helped, certainly. but yohan saw himself as a monster/devil until the very end, and was more than willing to kill himself to make gaon and elijah's life so much easier. as penance. as justice. as love.

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta #this is a long one fjlaskdf oops #but YALL this is my last ask!!!!!!!!!! im finally caught up!!!!!!#holy shit thank you to anyone who has sent me asks the past 3 months while this show was airing too #i know ive been slow to answer but!! I DID IT!!!!!!!!#of course feel free to send more if you want but i feel so happy to have gotten to everyone #AND if you sent me an and you haven't seen it #it possibly didn't go through and i am so so so sorry #i haven't ignored anyone who has sent me anything so please send again if you want

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saurons-pr-department · 3 years

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I feel like Melkor showing up in Mordor might not actually go as smoothly as he expects. The party would be mind-blowing, of course, but after the initial high wears off... D'you think Mairon might have gotten a bit used to being his own master? It's been over 6,000 years. That's much longer that Melkor was in Mandos, and Mairon has been through a lot and grown as a person. If Melkor is expecting everything to be just the same as it was in Angbang, do you think there might be a bit of tension?

Oh, anon, I love that you've asked this because if I can ever really get my ass into gear with my Dagor Dagorath fic, this is actually one of the major plot elements that I have planned!

In short though, yeah, I think it would be something that would initially be great and then go downhill. We're told that Mairon was genuinely devoted to the idea of Melkor taking over and ruling the world. I could see him being happy that his lord was back, but I could also imagine that after having a taste of being Theeee Dark Lord for so long, it would be difficult for him to go back to being second in command. Now there's someone to tell him "no" and I'm not sure how prepared he'd be for that anymore.

It would definitely depend on how Melkor was when he returned. Is he back to his glory days of old, or is he even more fearful and chaotic? What are his goals this time? How do those match up with Mairon's? Probably most importantly, how does he treat Mairon? Maybe the initial bumpiness could be gotten over if Melkor is willing to acknowledge all that Mairon achieved on his own and respect that status (something like, in public Mairon may be firmly beneath Melkor, but behind closed doors they have a somewhat more equal relationship. Though, obviously not completely equal!). It probably would become a much bigger problem if Melkor wanted him to immediately fall back into line as an underling, with no respect for how powerful he's become on his own. From what we know of Melkor's...eh...difficulties with things like sharing and the need to be the sole owner of things and so on, I would expect the latter of these two situations to prevail.

Another important factor would be just how strong Mairon's devotion still is. Strong as it was, I'm not certain how strong it continued to be, in practice at any rate. Like, he wanted to be worshipped as a God-King by the end. Even if theoretically he would be happy to see Melkor return, I'm not 100% convinced about how happy he'd actually be, especially once the reality of being bumped back down the food chain a little had finally smacked him upside the head!

#anonymous #answered asks #mairon #sauron #melkor #morgoth #silmarillion #and in my fic mairon will be getting a fairly firm *thwack* from reality #poor guy #mwahahaha

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wevegottogetaway · 3 years

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I love you

First I love yous...do I need to say more? Anyway, please don’t hesitate to reach out for anything, whether that be comments, requests, feedback or just to have a chat! Happy reading xx

It’s been three days of utter pandemonium ripping through your brain in complete disarray. Three days of pent up stress storming through your mind as you ran like a headless chicken to try and find a handle on a situation that frankly, you didn’t give a rat’s ass about.

It all started when your boss had called you in his office, his signature tyrant-resting face on, solid frown drafting his features in a look of severity. Well, this can’t be good, you’d immediately thought once you took a hesitant seat across his desk. You’d hoped for a benign reason behind the sudden meeting, and that the scowl on his face was merely a residual of some other trouble that had absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your prayers had fallen on deaf ears however, as the summoning proved to be a twenty minutes angry diatribe about how one of your most recent client had expressed their wish to withdraw from their deal and de facto, the company. Though it hadn’t been your fault per se, your boss didn’t have any reservations about reminding you of your supposed responsibility to keep your clients sated and on the company’s leash. He’d given you three days to fix it after that. Three days to persuade the client not to pull out of the deal, or you risked some serious downgrading if not redundancy.

You’d called Harry for support the minute you got home and spent the whole evening brainstorming the craziest ideas to him. He’d listened patiently, holding your hand on the table as you both indulged in the Thai take-out he’d picked up on his way over. That first night, you’d barely slept as you laid in his strong arms, back to his chest. Your reeling mind had still been trying to conjure up any sort of plan that would help you out of this chaos; but for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, your hopes had dwindled some.

You hadn’t known then, but Harry couldn’t find rest either as he spooned you against him. You two hadn’t been dating long, several months at best, but already your distress was unbearable to him and every bone in his body ached to do something to help you. This feeling of powerlessness was crawling out of his skin and swimming around like a shark amidst his prevalent thoughts of support, admiration and love. Because, while he’d shown you the first and conveyed the second countless times in the past, the third had yet to tumble out of his lips, despite the confession burning their flesh a bit stronger every day.

What really had had his mind reeling though, was knowing that maybe, just maybe, he had the power to make this situation go away; and for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, his hopes grew some.

Your earlier utterance of the client’s name had been ringing through his mind in faint recognition, an itch starting to fester at his fingertips. Dialing a phone number was all it could take. A couple choice words and if he played his cards right, the deal would be back on the table. He’d known interfering was arguably a bad idea, and truthfully he’d always made a point of honor not to use his connections to serve ulterior motives (his or anyone else’s), but how was he supposed to do nothing when the person that caused you trouble was in fact a friend of a friend that might reevaluate their stance if he pitched in with a bit of charm and compelling words? How was he supposed to stay idle, watch you dissolve in an anxious mess, if he wasn’t as powerless as he thought?

So he didn’t.

He’d originally planned on keeping you in the loop, but you’d been gone by the time his forest green eyes had fluttered back to consciousness the next morning. After a quick shower, a large mug of the coffee you’d left for him before running back to work, and locking your apartment with the spare key you’d given him a couple weeks back, he’d pulled out his phone. Two minutes was all it took for his friend to pass him your client’s number and without hesitation, he’d launched the call and brought his phone to his ear.

It took a bit longer than a couple of minutes for that conversation to take effect, but eventually his words hit their target. After all, his lovely nature could pierce through the most robust walls and stubborn minds. He didn’t even have to put on the charm that much, instead drawing earnest sentiments about your impeccable skills and rambling about how there was no better person to keep their account safe in the business. He’d gnawed at his lips the whole time, desperate to pull through but still scared to fail you somehow. You’d already been let down by the client and your boss, you certainly didn’t need your boyfriend added to the list.

The call had ended with their promise to reassess and consider your undeniable abilities in the equation, yet the next day you were once again convoked to your boss’ office with a snarly bark of your name. Puzzlement washed over you as you speed-walked after him. Why was he still so resentful with you when you’d gotten the client to reenter the contract?

Another twenty minutes of intense scolding provided you with that answer. With a disdainful gaze puncturing your poise, your boss told you that while your job was no longer on the line, you’d been given a firm warning about using your boyfriend as negotiator for the company’s dealings.

How he knew when you yourself weren’t aware of the fact, you didn’t know. In retrospect, your talk with the client had been suspiciously easy for someone who’d made their will to ditch the company crystal clear. You’d merely laid out your arguments, expecting resistance and some pushing, but were only met with a squinted look and cautious acceptance. Now you know your case had already been pleaded once, by the man who was taking more and more space for himself inside the chambers of your heart.

You didn’t quite know how to feel about it; didn’t know if you should be mad or grateful. You were specifically stunned because you knew it was out of character for Harry. Your boyfriend was the most generous being you’d ever met, but humility was even more so a prevailing layer of his beautiful nature. You certainly didn’t expect it, didn’t wish for it to happen again because you were always adamant not to ever use anyone for their assets. Yet there was a tingling, a mixture of discomfort and gratefulness, sloshing in the pit of your stomach.

This whole thing was a mind-fuckery of emotions you were too tired to process.

What you did feel though, was the pure frustration at your boss’ hypocrisy. You both knew he didn’t really care how you’d gotten the deal back, just that you did, but his intolerable disposition wouldn’t allow him to applaud your efforts and move on.

Wanting to put this all mess behind you, you bit back the retorts that you craved to force down his throat, simply nodded through his chastising charade, and leaped to your feet as soon as the dismissing words left his stupid trap.

Now that you’re making your way inside your home, your nose is hit by a waft of delicious aromas traveling from the kitchen. Your mind is still fuzzy with every trouble and startling revelation that transpired in the past three days, but as your eyes settle on your apron-clad boyfriend, you take a moment to appreciate the sight of his soft figure stirring the content of what must be a pan on the gas. His back is facing you, but you can hear the gentle humming under his breath, as he hasn’t registered your arrival yet.

After another minute of whistling, he finally twists around and his eyes almost pop out of their socket when they find your timid stance a couple feet away. "Jesus, pet, didn’t know you were home yet," he chuckles softly before taking in your somewhat moony features. Your expression is hard to pinpoint, your delicate traits blank of any emotions yet your eyes have the same sparkle that greets him every morning and every night when he pulls you for a deep kiss in his warm embrace. "Everythin’ okay, love?"

The query snaps you out of your semblance of trance, your head looking down to the floor to gather your wits before you level your gaze back to his. "Yeah it is. Umm, my boss called me in again today," your bite your lip, not knowing how to navigate the conversation. In all honesty, you just want to be done with the whole thing, would rather spend an evening full of cuddles and potentially mind-blowing sex, but you know this ought to be acknowledged.

"Oh," his brows pull together with the same confusion you’d experienced when your boss ushered you to his office. "Did he thank you for the big save?"

"Not exactly," you clear your throat bracing yourself and Harry’s face tenses at the realization about where this is going. "My job is safe and I’m still working on the account," hie loosens up in relief, but your next words have him stiffen right back up in alarm. "But I got a warning for a certain someone’s involvement in the company’s operations. Apparently, my boyfriend called the client on my behalf and forgot to clue me in…"

Your voice is calm and doesn’t carry any reproachful tone, but Harry’s pulse is suddenly speeding with dread regardless. The fact that he could have lost you your jobs is the only thing registering in his frenzied mind, as he sets the dish towel from his shoulder down on the counter and steps closer to you. His eyes are bouncing off yours in a frantic back and forth, as he gulps his remorse down. Before you can appease him with reassuring words, and show your lack of anger, he launches in an apologetic rant, enclosing both your hands between his palms.

"M’so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to put you in a bad position. Fuck I just- I kept thinkin’ I could help since your client was a friend of a friend. And, the more I thought about it, the more I kept thinking 'I can’t do nothin’. Cause I hate seein’ you in pain an’ I really want to be here fo’ you and I know this was probably the wrong way to go about it, but damn y/n, I couldn’t stand doin’ nothing, m’sorry-"

"I love you."

The words come fast but distinct, airy but firm, not an ounce of doubt laced through their utterance. An eerie silence permeate the small space surrounding them, as Harry tries to find his own words back. It took three of them to steal all of his, but in his defense they were the ones he’d been dying to hear and to deliver himself. His eyes are wide, blinking in total surprise. He’d expected irritation, disappointment perhaps, maybe even anger, but definitely not the sweetest words he’s been keeping at the forefront of his mind. "I- you do?"

You still have that wondrous look on your face, but this time a bright smile enlivens your features, "I really do." You take your hands out of his grip to hold onto his wrists and pull him closer to you. You have to look up since he towers over you but you’ve always liked that about your relationship; the way he always seems to dwarf you in his embraces, whether because of his height or his bear-paw hands. "I mean, don’t that again," you let out a soft laugh, "but I know why you did it, and I love you for it."

Harry smiles rivals your own now, as your hands smooth up his arms to clasp at the nape of his neck, "plus, my boss is a jerk anyway so, who cares?" You pull him in a loving kiss then and his arms wrap themselves around your shoulders in a tight lock. His lips are as soft as ever between your own, and you detect the faintest taste of pepper and other exotic herbs lingering on their edge, from his cooking endeavors. He’s always been one to have a taste or two while he’s working, whether that be in the kitchen or other rooms…and regardless, you always like it when you get your share from his supple lips.

He feels slightly distracted against your mouth though, his technique not as ravishing as it usually is. and before you can wonder why, he’s pulling an inch away from your swollen lips, hurriedly whispering your tender confession back to you as though the words couldn’t be out of his mouth and into your heart fast enough, "I love you too, pet. So much." His hands are cajoling your face, thumbs drawing soothing circles across your cheeks, and his beaming smile is melting your heart in a goo of pleasure after all the strain it suffered in the past couple of days.

"Fuck, c’mere, don’t ever wanna stop kissing you," Harry mutters against your lips before diving in for a real mind-bending, soul-shaking, tantalizing kiss this time. Just like that, all your worries and sorrow evaporate into thin air, only to be replaced by an intoxicating pink loving brume. You two definitely spend the most perfect evening with lots of cuddles and endless mind-blowing lovemaking. Screw everything else.

➪ Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #creative writing #reader insert #Harry fic #harry styles fanfic #love #romance #first i love you

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cristalconnors · 4 years

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TOP 20 SONGS OF 2020

20. “BELOW THE CLAVICLE”- EARTHEATER

“The meaning hasn’t come up yet. It’s still under the surface below the clavicle.”

It isn’t just Alexandra Drewchin’s ear splitting soprano when she hits that impossibly high B, practically shrieking out the “cle” syllable of clavicle, though that’s undoubtedly when I first knew that Eartheater’s avant folk was for me- it’s also the cinematic, lush strings, both bowed and plucked (is that acoustic guitar or harp? I genuinely can’t tell), deepening and complicating the sonic texture of Drewchin’s study of parsing through emotions you aren’t ready to make sense of yet.

19. “PUSSY TALK”- CITY GIRLS, FT. DOJA CAT

“This pussy so ghetto, this pussy speak ebonics”

“WAP”’s funnier, classless Irish twin, though it’s important to note “Pussy Talk” came first. Yung Miami and JT enlist Doja Cat to expound on everything their pussies deserve and will absolutely settle for nothing less than. And why should they when they’re spitting out verses this inspiredly hilarious with such confidence and flow?

18. “LICK IN HEAVEN”- JESSY LANZA

“Once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning...”

Jessy Lanza is talking about losing your cool, letting your emotions get the best of you and lashing out instead of letting cooler heads prevail, but when that earworm of a chorus hits- “once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning” - I can’t stop spinning. I’m that woman on the single art, a wine mom lost in the delirium of the dance floor and in Lanza’s hypnotic, fragmented rhythms.

17. “GASLIGHTER”- THE CHICKS

“Boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat!”

“Gaslighter” finds Natalie Ames and her Chicks at their most simultaneously ruthless and ebullient, ripping Ames’s ex-husband Adrian Pasdar a new asshole and ratcheting up the righteous anger of “Goodbye Earl” tenfold, channeling it into a glorious wall of sound in what might be their most rousing, emotionally resonant chorus in their storied career.

16. “HANNAH SUN”- LOMELDA

“Hannah do no harm...”

While “Hannah Sun” begins as an exquisitely observed rumination on grappling with long-distance, pining for someone who’s a continent away, it gradually becomes clear that Hannah Read blames herself for putting the distance between her and the subject of her longing, and that the distance isn’t strictly literal. Skittering synths (or is that distorted flute?) complicate and enrich the texture of the song, allowing it to build organically and stunningly towards a heartbreaking plea to herself- “Hannah, do no harm.”

15. “FIRE”- WAXAHATCHEE

“And when I turn back around will you drain me back out? Will you let me believe that I broke through?”

When I’d drive back and forth between Dallas and Austin over and over again when I was in college, I’d often get off I-35 past Waco and take the back roads through towns I’d never heard of, the sun setting spectacularly behind the titular hills of Hill Country that were beginning to roll out in earnest. I think about that a lot when listening to “Fire,” a song dripping in rural Americana that was, unsurprisingly, inspired by a road trip. We’ve probably all been Katie Crutchfield as she crossed the bridge into West Memphis- alone in the car, awed by the simple beauty of the American countryside, making speeches to ourselves about our past mistakes and figuring out a way forward.

14. “3AM”- HAIM

“On the screen and in my jeans, just make me feel good.”

On an album full of genre departures and decidedly darker themes than we’ve typically heard from Haim in their near decade of syncopated bubblegum pop rock, “3AM” stands out not only as their most effective stab at pastiche, slipping into the trappings of contemporary R&B with shocking ease and gusto, but also as their most unabashedly fun track in their entire oeuvre. “I think you can hear the amount of joy and laughs we had making this song” Alana Haim tells Apple Music, and you absolutely can.

13. “QADIR”- NICK HAKIM

“We’re sinking down a hole without thinking about our loved ones who might be shrinking...”

I often wonder if I’m putting enough effort into maintaining my relationships with friends I don’t see regularly, who live several time zones away, living their own lives while I live mine. When the thought of sustaining simple correspondence becomes overwhelming, it’s easy for months to go by before you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your closest friends. “QADIR” plays less like a eulogy for a friend gone too soon (though of course it is that) than a plea to the listener to put in the work. It’s worth it. You never know when it’ll be too late.

12. “LEVITATING”- DUA LIPA

“Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes shining just the way we are.”

Just a few bars of that delightfully bouncy, extra-terrestrial beat is enough to launch me into space. It’s so refreshing to hear a song that remembers that pop is supposed to be joyful and is best when it’s a bit silly. When discussing this track with Apple Music, Dua Lipa cites Austin Powers as inspiration, elaborating that “if I do a video for this, Mike Meyers has to be in it.” Can’t you just see them together, performing a farcical pas de deux of seduction like the spiritual successor to “Beautiful Stranger?”

11. “RIQUIQUI”- ARCA

“Love in the face of fear! Fear in the face of God!”

Arca’s made a career of harnessing chaos and somehow making sense of it. On an album that finds her embracing more traditional, accessible song structures, “Riquiqui” is a reminder that even when working within an AB structure, she’s still breaking rules left and right and having a blast doing it. She’s also never sounded so ferociously empowered in either her femininity or in her Venezuelan identity, rattling off local colloquialisms with affection and verve without a second thought as to who’s going to understand it.

10. “FANTASY”- AGAINST ALL LOGIC

“I think about you all the time...”

Or, the musical embodiment of this gif:

When Nicolas Jaar’s tormented synths and crunching beats give way to Beyoncé’s unmistakable alto, it is indeed quite the shock. But should it be? Even if 2017-2019 finds him ditching the dancefloor in favor of more severe, unforgiving soundscapes, his already varied career has shown us nothing’s off limits to him. So why not reinvent Beyoncé’s iconic “Baby Boy” into an industrial, vaguely sinister certified bop that arguably surpasses the original?

9. “PEOPLE, I’VE BEEN SAD”- CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS

“If you disappear, then I’m disappearing, too.”

“People, I’ve been sad” plays out with the vulnerability and intimacy of a tumblr text post you put out in the middle of the night, only to hastily delete later when it gets no notes. It forgoes flowery language in favor of just getting to the point. “I’ve been sad.” Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier blows up this deceptively simple sentiment with richly layered textures and a big screen gloss not to offer any remedies but instead to offer solidarity. We’re all in this hell together.

8. “DESCRIBE”- PERFUME GENIUS

“Can you just find him for me?”

Mike Hadreas has never sounded so hopeless. Utilizing harsh, rattling guitar that would make Kevin Shields swoon, he conveys the experience of being so estranged from happiness and joy that you need to rely on others to describe the sensation to you. But how, when exploring darker textures than he ever has before, does he make despondency sound so divine?

7. “4 AMERICAN DOLLARS”- U.S. GIRLS

“No matter how much you get to have, you will still die and that’s the only thing.”

Meg Remy picks up where she left off on “4 American Dollars,” reviving the subversive pastiche she mastered on In a Poem Unlimited, this time harnessing the power of funk to dismantle the fallacies we’re taught about the virtues of capitalism. Heavy stuff, but Remy makes it less didactic than joyous, ensuring the listener will be singing “I don’t believe in pennies and nickels and dimes and dollars and pesos and pounds and rupees and yen and rubles” until they start to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t, either.

6. “STUPID LOVE”- LADY GAGA

“I freak out, I freak out, I freak out, I freak out!”

Due to a healthy spirit of contrarianism mixed with a touch of internalized homophobia and genuine bafflement at her universal appeal and praise, I was a proud Lady Gaga hater for as long as she’d been a cultural entity. I just didn’t get her at all and loved that about myself. Annoying, I know. 2020 was the year I was finally ready to let that all go. Just before the world fell apart in March, I was out at Flaming Saddles (RIP) with friends the night this song came out and by the sixteenth time it played, I understood why it was inducing such hysteria. This was a cultural shift. After a frustrating near-decade of Gaga subverting expectations so thoroughly that she was actively working against her strengths and sabotaging her cultural ubiquity in the process, coupled with the most frightening era of political upheaval in our lifetimes, she was finally ready to save us and be Lady Gaga again. Booming synth, drag sensibilities, absurd thematic conceits- all was right in the world. For the first time in a long time, people had something to be hopeful about, and as I danced that night, I felt that hope, too.

5. “SHELLFISH MADEMOISELLE”- RÓISÍN MURPHY

“How dare you sentence me to a lifetime without dancing?”

As soon as that bass starts (the funkiest bassline in the history of music?) it’s like Róisín Murphy’s snake charming oboe, coaxing even the most stalwart curmudgeon onto the dancefloor and keeping them there, dancing frantically and involuntarily like the citizens of Strasbourg in 1518, trying their best to keep up with Murphy who isn’t even breaking a sweat, commanding the masses with a sultry remove, beckoning you closer, pulling you inexorably deeper into the mass of gyrating bodies and whispering in your ear “come and have a dance with yer mum.”

4. “PARTY 4 U”- CHARLI XCX

“I only threw this party for you...”

As PC Music / Bubblegum Bass / whatever you want to call it enters its second decade, Charli XCX proves not only that there’s still new textures to explore within it, but also that no one can exploit its artifice to get down to emotional truths like she can. How can she make something this slick sound so vulnerable? “I only threw this party for you” she croons over and over again over glorious syncopated synths that build exquisitely, reaching their climax only to immediately fall away, until it’s just her and her trusty autotune, pleading with the subject of the song to just come to the damn party. But they won’t, of course. They never do, do they?

3. “WAP”- CARDI B, FT. MEGAN THEE STALLION

“I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!”

Sometimes you just immediately know you’re living through a significant cultural moment. No, not COVID. I’m talking about the experience of hearing Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s instant classic “WAP” for the first time, a titanic meeting of the minds that finds both of them at the apex of their cultural influence and at their most undeniable. Can the argument be made that these two aren’t the two best rappers in the game right now? How could you hear this inspiredly filthy sex positive juggernaut, where Cardi and Megan are trading the sickest verses of their careers, and not think these two deserve the world?

2. “KEROSENE!”- YVES TUMOR

“I can be your baby in real life, sugar. I can live in your dreams.”

If the 2010′s were all about the pop-ification of all music, trading in live instrumentation in favor of polished synths, 2020 forcefully announced the return of the electric guitar when Yves Tumor and Diana Gordon’s back and forth lustfully submissive declarations of desire suddenly gave way to that nasty guitar rip lifted from Uriah Heep’s “Weep in Silence” to announce yet another cultural shift in a year chock full of them- rock and roll was, indeed, here to stay.

1. “I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”- FIONA APPLE

“I move with the trees in the breeze, I know that time is elastic.”

We live and we learn. Years spent soul searching and on self-discovery shape us into better, smarter people, progressively knowing and understanding ourselves and the world around us more and more clearly, but Fiona Apple knows that none of that can quell the ferocious desire to be loved by someone. By anyone. By you, whoever that is. We can know that time is elastic and that when we’re gone all our particles will disband and disperse and then we’ll be back in the pulse, and we can know that none of this stuff actually matters, but still- we want, we want, we want.

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cutesuki--bakugou · 5 years

Text

Frigid

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Hurt / Comfort / Romance

Story Warnings: Topics of Depression / Body Image, Relationship Drama (implied / suspected cheating), Arguments, Cursing, Sex (rough: choking, dirty talk), Foreplay

Words: 8,070

Summary: Hiking with your long-term boyfriend had always been an enjoyable, if not a bit challenging, experience. In the dead of winter, he talks you into trudging up the mountain side, but there’s more than just the frigid cold that needs to be conquered. Guilt, regret, and the loss of a connection that you once had with him all put out in the open, it is up to you both to fix what had been broken and reignite your frozen hearts.

a/n: I know, this is a long one! But I didn’t want to split it up and ruin the pace, so I hope you enjoy the read! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ Sorry for all the negativity that came through on this one, but I promise I pull it around with cute fluff, hot make up sex, and super sweet Bakugou that’ll make your heart melt. (⺣◡⺣)♡*

Please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

You had always greatly enjoyed the winter season, that much you could admit. The cool weather, softly falling snow, and cheerful atmosphere made it perfect for gathering with loved ones and celebrating the holidays. Bundling up in warm clothes and scarves with fabric so soft it felt like the gentle kisses from your lover, tender and warming you to the core. Warmth is what you loved most about the winter, in the form of a cozy fireplace, your lover's arms around you, or enjoying a hot cup of tea beneath a wool blanket and fuzzy socks. It was a time to cuddle, to rest, to love, and to give.

Yes, you loved winter and all the pleasant things that came with it.

But not right now. No, in fact, you despised the ice-cold wind blowing against your face as you trudged up the side of a mountain, the current angle of the snow-covered ground barely ascendable without tools. Your legs ached with each push and pull you had to make to heave your body up, and though you figured it would have gotten easier by now, the struggle only continued to grow heavier on your body. Nearly six hours, now, you had been following your lover up this mountain path, and with only two breaks in between, you were near your limit. But, even if you begged to stop now, that wasn’t possible.

You had gone climbing and hiking with your hotheaded lover enough times to know his routine. This path in particular was one you had gone up a couple of times while dating, but never in the winter. Sure, he had gone in the colder months, but you had never felt up to it all the years before. Somehow, he had talked you into it this time, dragging you excitedly out into the wilderness. He loved this sport, and even if you had always supported him in the past, that encouragement was nonexistent. Right now, you wished that he liked something a little easier, safer, warmer, or just straight up boring.

Chess, maybe? Or perhaps an indoor sport like volleyball or badminton, you could get into one of those easily. You even preferred his intense workout regimen over this hell! Yet, here you were, clutching your cold gloved hands around a tree root to pull yourself up onto a rock ledge. As you came to rest on your knees, you felt all your breath leave you, the weight of your backpack and other luggage suddenly feeling like it weighed a ton.

“K-Katsuki, wait a second!”

Having heard your plea, Bakugou stopped, looking back at you. You couldn’t see his face, as it was covered with goggles around his eyes and a face mask to protect his nose, mouth and neck. Hood of his jacket pulled up as well, all you could see was a small tuft of his blonde hair sticking out around his forehead, which bounced about in the wind. You were pretty much the same as far as being protected from the cold and wind, though it was still enough to make your cheeks and tip of your nose tingle and burn.

After a quick glance around him to check your surroundings, Bakugou jumped and slid back down, kneeling beside you once he could. “Are you hurt?”

Even though it crossed your mind to lie that you had in hopes he would take it easier on you, the truth prevailed, and you gave a small shake of your head. Pulling down your mouth and nose cover so you could talk better, you wiped your nose with the back of your glove. “No, no. I just got winded suddenly… This path is a lot harder in the winter.”

Bakugou sighed, pulling down his own mask before pushing up his goggles, glancing over you with that brilliant crimson glare that nearly made you flush with embarrassment. “Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this shitty today. It’s worse than what I read online. But you’re doing good! Don’t tap out already.”

His encouragement was inspiring, but only for a moment, as you were both suddenly assaulted with a new rush of wind. Whining in detest, you put your mask back on, vigorously rubbing your cheeks. “L-Let’s just keep going so we can find a place to camp!”

“The spot is about another half mile away. Get your ass up, babe, you got this!” Standing, Bakugou took hold of your arms, helping you to your feet. Even through the layers of clothes, you could feel how warm his hands were, and you wished so desperately for him to just hug and hold you. You knew that it would come eventually, but not until you got your aching body up the mountain, got the tent set up, and were cuddled in your sleeping bags. Just knowing that was what awaited you at the end of this was enough to spur you forward, and so, you followed him up the hill.

Eventually, you came to a spot in the path that became level, winding around the side of the mountain until the wind was no longer beating down on you. It was still strong enough to be bothersome, but you could tolerate it, especially since the path was now quite pleasant to walk on. You were still too out of breath for conversation, and though Bakugou seemed perfectly fine, he didn’t bother to speak either. The company you shared was comfortable enough to not require constant talking, and it helped that you and your lover were of the quiet type, anyway.

It was a time to be at peace, in nature with the only responsibility is keeping yourselves alive and safe. That, and it was a way to expel all that extra energy that had built up over the previous months. At least, it was for Bakugou, and not so much for yourself. The blonde beside you, now in his late twenties, had quickly become a prominent and famous pro hero after graduating high school. He loved the action, the testing of his skills, continued growth, and challenges that the position gave him. But, with all that enjoyment came the stresses of owning an agency. Politics, media, sidekicks, reputation, rumors, and all that bad stuff weighed heavily on him. He needed to get away, where no one could find him and no one would need him, except you.

Out here in the wilderness is where he found that peace, high up and away from the chaos, - or monotony, depending on the day - that was his life. Why he wouldn’t prefer to take a vacation to a warm tropical island instead of this freezing mountainside, you weren’t sure, and though it was difficult for you to power through, you were glad you came with him.

The sight of your typical camping ground was heavenly, feeling a rush of relief when you finally laid eyes upon it. With the thick cover of still thriving pine trees above it, the ground was only lightly dusted with snow, giving you some hope that camping here for the night wouldn’t be quite so uncomfortable. Bakugou seemed to think the same as he gave a heavy sigh, one that you recognized to be of relief, before he pulled his water canister off his pack to take a swig. Once done, he handed it towards you, and you took a healthy gulp of the cold water.

“This is good,” Bakugou started, taking the canister back from you once you were done. “We won’t have to clear out much.”

“Thank goodness…” You couldn’t contain your tired groan, lifting your goggles for a moment to rub your eyes. “This has all but killed me!”

“And look, you’re still standing, like the badass woman you are,” slipping his hands beneath your hood to caress your neck, Bakugou stroked both of your cheeks with his thumbs while he leaned in for a kiss. You welcomed the affection, heat rushing to your cheeks from his encouragement and warmth of his lips against yours. “Soon we can rest.” Two more soft kisses were shared before he pulled away from you, heading towards the clearing as he shifted his luggage off his back. “I’m ready for some fucking food!”

Smiling, you followed his example, removing your pack and placing it down to dig for your compact snow shovel. “I call dibs on the mashed potatoes!”

“Like hell you do! I’ve had dibs on that since I packed it!”

The next three hours were spent shoveling away snow and ice, setting up the tent, and prepping the entire area to make a comfortable campsite. Since you planned on being here for two nights, you and your lover made extra sure that it was as perfect as it could be to enjoy the solitude. Sure, there was some playing around in between, with a snowball thrown or a slap to the behind as you were bent over your work, but it didn’t hinder your process at all. That was one thing that you loved about Bakugou, how he was so diligent in getting things done, but he left enough room to make the task enjoyable for you both.

Nothing was as satisfying as setting the fire ablaze, watching the sticks and kindling begin to burn with orange embers. That was the final step to begin your time of relaxation in the chilly winter air, to settle around the fire and begin boiling water for your food. It felt like heaven when you could finally sit, the log you had dragged over earlier the equivalent to a luxury leather couch to your sore body. Bag of climbers freeze dried mashed potatoes on your lap, you ate them with eager fervor once properly prepared, feeling like your stomach had been empty for years. Your boyfriend was the same, scarfing down his noodles before they could even have time to cool down.

“Ah, ow, fuck that’s hot-!” Bakugou spoke as he shoved the noodles into his waiting mouth, not bothering to at least blow on them or let the dusk winter air cool them off first. Giggling as you waited for the bite on your spoon to cool, you gave a shake of your head, knowing that anything you say wouldn’t stop him. There was nothing that could get between him and his food, though you figured that you could at least attempt, so that if he disagreed, you could still argue later that you had tried.

“Katsuki, give it a minute! You don’t have to eat it while it’s still hot, let it cool a little. You can always reheat it if it gets too cold.”

“No!” As expected, he glowered at you, protectively holding the bag of noodles closer to his chest, his cheeks stuffed to the brim. “I want them while they’re hot! Shut up and eat your potatoes, since you just had to have them.”

“Hey, I won fair and square. It’s not my fault you suck at rock-paper-scissors, don’t be all grumpy at me.”

Grumbling in his typical grumpy fashion, Bakugou focused on eating his noodles, avoiding looking at you in his defeat. You knew that he wasn’t actually upset with you, and you weren’t with him, so the silence that fell was just as comfortable as it always was. The crackling fire was calming, as was the heat that rolled off the wood in soft waves, and paired with the hot food, it helped to warm you from the belly out. Eventually, you finished all you could stomach to eat, and you happily rested against your lover's side with a heavy yawn.

“So,” You began, watching him scrape every little bit of food out of the noodle pack. “What was the reason for your decision to come out here this time, hm?”

“I just needed a weekend away… Before the parties and shit for the holidays begin. I can’t stand all that fucking nonsense… Especially with what happened last year.”

Your stomach churned at the mere mention of last year's horrible events, and though the two of you had gotten past that by now, those horrible feelings still crept up on you like a million spiders against your skin. Almost a year ago, you had almost lost him, but not to injury or some other tragic event. No, it was another woman, someone who he had been ‘seeing’ before you ever got his attention. Emphases on ‘seeing’, as he had never committed himself to her relationship wise, nor did she ever to him.

No, she decided that she wanted him back all these years later, after he had gotten rich, famous, and successful. So, what does she do? Barges into his agency’s Christmas party, of course, dressed to impress and showing enough skin to make any man blush, no matter if they were taken or not. And Bakugou, at this time, had been with you for just over three years, so he was very securely in the ‘taken’ category.

Did this woman know that? Yes, of course she did. Did that stop her from nearly ruining your relationship? Absolutely not.

With a small sigh, you nuzzled your nose into the warmth of his jacket against his shoulder, keeping yourself squished beside him as close as you could get. “I wish I could have been there… That would have at least made things a little easier to deal with. Maybe I could have even stopped her…”

“That woman was insane. I don’t think anything would have stopped her. I barely could.” Bakugou finished with his noodles, placing his trash and yours in a trash bag he had beside his feet. “I already told you not to beat yourself up about that, none of it was your fault.”

Although you tried to believe him, there was still a sense of guilt that rested on your shoulders when it came to how everything played out. Sick with a cold, you had been stuck at home, resting. You had recently moved into Bakugou’s apartment with him, so being without him that night had been lonely, especially since you knew he was out probably very much enjoying himself. So, you lay in bed and spent your hours moping, sleeping, and fiddling around on your phone as you awaited his return.

It was around midnight when you noticed something trending on social media, and the familiar hashtag that represented Bakugou’s brand immediately made you feel sick to your stomach. Usually, it wouldn’t have, if not for the words ‘scandal’, ‘womanizer’, and ‘cheater’ being so ominously paired with it. As you began to look at the tag, you immediately felt sick to your stomach as you were bombarded with pictures of Bakugou quite passionately kissing this other woman. Of course, at that moment, you couldn’t think rationally. All you could think of was that this was how it all ended, all the passion and love between the two of you being nothing but hot air.

You confronted him the instant he got home, after waiting until nearly three in the morning, sobbing and near hysterical. It was impossible, all his reasonings and proof that it wasn’t as it seemed incomprehensible to your broken heart. In the end, you left his apartment to instead go stay in a hotel, as you had moved far from your family and friends to be with him. Delirious with fever and emotion, you didn’t even let him know where you were staying for three days, and you figured that this would be the end of your relationship.

That is, until you saw the new trending reports of the event, including the woman filing a harassment and assault charge against Bakugou. With it, you saw the video of Bakugou throwing the woman to the floor after she quite literally pounced on him, kissing him feverishly. What had looked like passion in the pictures you had seen was now made obvious to you that it was Bakugou fighting back, only successful in pushing the woman off him once he regained his footing.

At first, you weren’t sure if you could return to him now. You had said such awful things to him, called him horrible names and treated him like he had been the bad guy in this entire endeavor. Would he even want you back after you lost your faith in him so quickly?

To your surprise, there was not an inch of hesitation in him welcoming you back home. Much unlike his usually stern and rough personality, he held and caressed you tightly to him as you cried, soaking in each other's presence and love. All apologies were accepted and forgiveness given, all that was left was for him to fully explain what happened, and he did in explicit detail. This was paired with conversations he had with the police, with other videos that you hadn’t seen before, and all the proof that you would need to see and understand that what happened was nothing but a malicious plot put into place by this other woman.

“She hasn’t admitted this,” he had told you, having not let you out of his arms for a good two hours at this point. “But I know what that bitch was up to. She either wanted to see if I would go back to her, and if I didn’t, then she was going to use my reaction to get money out of me in court. She knew that I would throw her off me, and she could claim I injured her, which is exactly what she’s done with these new bullshit charges.”

You believed him, of course, and did everything you could to support him through the entire grueling process. But there was that unconscious twinge of pain in your chest and the heavy weight of doubt every time the woman claimed that they had been communicating secretly for months prior. With every dirty detail she would give, she would stare at you if you were present, the crocodile tears hiding the malicious intent. It weighed heavily on your confidence, and the more the lies got to you, the more damage it dealt to your relationship.

It had all ended just about two months ago, when the woman finally gave up and all charges were dropped. In the end, she didn’t get a single penny from Bakugou, but his reputation had already been damaged from the bad publicity. His ratings dropped, his stress load doubled, and as a result, he was nearly always grumpy. You could barely get a word out of him, let alone enjoy each other’s company as you always had.

Up until this trip, when you agreed to go with him, you hadn’t seen him smile or get excited about anything. In that smile, that excited kiss you shared, you saw hope that things would finally turn around for the better. A year on shaky ground in a relationship had been horribly taxing on you both, but being here with him and sticking through it told you that, if you were together, you could get through anything.

Right?

“I suppose that… Well… I guess a lot of the trouble afterwards was my fault. How I handled it… I could have been better.” You carefully let your arm hook with his. “I was just… too scared and shocked… to think that we would end like that.”

“I hope that we won’t.”

“Huh?” The morbid and pessimistic comment instantly made your heart sink, sitting up to peer up at him. “What do you mean…? We’re better now, aren’t we?”

Brow furrowed deeply, Bakugou’s gaze was locked on the still crackling fire. That look of intense and blank focus is what you had seen for weeks now, as if he were contemplating something he wanted to say but was worried about the consequences. If he wanted to break up with you, to end it all, why would he drag you out here like this? Was it a last-ditch effort to see if being alone out here in the wilderness could save you?

“Katsuki…?” You couldn’t control the slight waiver in your voice as your worry grew, watching his expression falter for just a moment at the sound. As you waited for his response, you kept your grip tight on the fabric of his jacket sleeve, worried that he would suddenly up and leave you there. Instead, he only sighed, reaching up and rubbing the left side of his face before pushing the hood of his jacket off.

“Be honest with me,” Bakugou finally spoke, clasping his hands together between his knees, elbows resting on his thighs. “You still don’t trust me, do you?”

“What? Of course I trust you; I don’t understand where this is coming from.”

“I’ve seen it… That moment of hesitation when I tell you I’m going anywhere. For a business trip, with my friends, anywhere that you can’t go with me. That fear that something like this will happen again… You still feel that way.”

You turned a bit more to face him, placing your hand gently on his forearm. “Katsuki, that has nothing to do with my trust for you. I trust you completely, I know that what happened wasn’t your fault and you weren’t… You weren’t talking to that girl behind my back.”

Right?

“You say that, [Name], but I can still hear and see it on your face that you doubt me.”

“No, that isn’t true. I don’t doubt you at all, it’s other women out there that I don’t trust.”

I doubt myself. Am I good enough for you? Am I really worth all this trouble after what I put you through? I’m… I’m still putting him through it. I’m still hurting him.

“What type of relationship is that, if you’re going to fret and worry about everything that I go and do, even if it’s not your distrust in me? How can you be happy like that?” Bakugou let out a heavy sigh, reaching up to rub his temple. “How can we be happy like that? Constantly worried that this will happen again, and we won’t make it next time.”

“But we would. If we can stay together through this, then we should be able to tackle anything. Unless…”

Unless you really don’t think I’m strong enough…

Bakugou fell silent, chin resting in his hand, elbow on his thigh, and eyes still watching the fire. There was something new there, a sadness that you hadn’t seen in a very long time. “I wanted to come out here to see if we could find it again… That comfort and that peace that I’ve always felt with you. I figured that out here, where we had our first kiss during the middle of summer, where we were sweating like mad and you made me feel so… good. I had hoped it would come back. While we were distracted, hiking, setting up camp… sure, it felt normal, but now? Fuck, I want it back… I want us back.”

Swallowing the hard lump that had grown in your throat, you clutched onto his arm tightly, hiding your face into the fabric to try and control the urge to cry. “I-I do, too… But I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to be normal, but… We haven’t healed yet…”

“Then how can we…?”

The silence that fell was deafening, not even the crackling of fire registering in your panicked mind. Was this really going to be the end? Your years of happiness, of love and passion with this man… was it really all for nothing? That first kiss, the tearful moment he first said ‘I love you’, the feeling of being so complete just by holding his hand, the warmth of waking up every morning in his arms. It would all be gone if you both didn’t find a way to recover those things, to remember how you used to be before all this madness, drama, doubts, and insecurities.

To remember how to love each other. To not just say the words without meaning, to bring each other the joy that had been lost, the trust, and the respect. And, out here in the bitter cold, with no distractions, was where he had wanted to find it. But, just like the fire that began to dwindle down to embers before you, what little spark there had been was already dying.

Before you could even think of what to say, Bakugou gave a heavy sigh and stood. He was somehow easily about to get out of what you thought had been a death grip on his clothing, but in reality, your fingers had grown quite numb and you let him slip away. How was this happening? How could you possibly be letting him go so easily? You loved him. He was your everything, and yet, you couldn’t hold onto him. The doubt, in the world and in yourself, and your insecurities were pulling you so far away from him. And he was being pulled the other way, by his stresses, defeat, and internal struggles that you had barely even noticed.

How selfish of you, to be so swallowed up in yourself that you couldn’t see how much he needed you. No, how much you needed to be there for each other. That silence that had started with a simple ‘I’m okay, everything is fine’ was now a massive wall between you, and no matter how loudly you both tried to scream the truth across it, the other just couldn’t hear. How could you climb it, to reach each other and truly be one again? Was it possible, or would it only grow stronger the more you tried?

“Wh… Where are you going?” Was all you could say, watching as he pulled his hood back up over his head. With only a single glance back at you, Bakugou began to leave the campground, the snow crunching beneath his boots.

“It’s getting dark and we didn’t gather firewood for the morning. And I have to take a piss… You should get ready to sleep. If you wait too long to get into the bags, you’ll be too cold.”

After a moment of sitting in silence, you stood, shuffling your way over to the tent. The two of you already had the little heater machine running, as well as battery powered heating pads to warm up your bedding, and yet, sitting alone inside the small tent was lonely and cold. There wasn’t even enough space in there for the two of you to move easily, and you couldn’t help but remember all the goofy moments and accidental rough nudges that led to playful fights and heated sessions.

Craving more warmth, you changed into your fuzzy and comfortable sleeping clothes, before shuffling down into your shared sleeping bag and blankets. The space behind you was so empty, completely void of the warm body that you had grown used to being pressed against your back. You wanted him there, but not just in that moment. No, you wanted him there, always, for as long as fate would allow you to have him. You couldn’t bear the thought of it all ending like this, over a lost connection that you knew could be found again.

But now, as you lay there in the hot comfort, your exhausted body began to take hold of your even more lethargic mind. Without any willingness on your part, you were pulled into the realm of the unconscious, with only the burning feeling of tears sliding down the side of your nose keeping you tethered to reality.

When you woke, you found yourself surrounded by darkness, telling you that it was very late in the night. There wasn’t a single source of light outside of the tent, so there was no equipment, fire, or moonlight to illuminate the camp. Still, there was nothing to be frightened of, as you could hear the deep and heavy breathing behind you, a sound that you were incredibly familiar with. You couldn’t feel him touching you, except for the heel of his foot, which had come to rest in the arch of yours.

Blinking away the tears that had welled up in your eyes, you took a moment to feel around in front of you for your phone, finding it down near your hips inside of the sleeping bag. After checking the time, you found yourself staring longingly at your background picture, which was your favorite out of all the photos and videos you had ever taken with Bakugou. Sleepy and disheveled, he had his lips pressed tenderly against your cheek, holding you close within the cozy plushness of his bed.

Becoming a bit lost in the thoughts of happy memories, you scrolled through your pictures and videos, smiling in one moment and blushing fiercely in another. While scrolling, your thumb accidentally lingered just a bit too long on a video from last summer, and the sound of roaring waves filled the tint. With quick reflexes, you were able to hit the down button on your volume to mute it, falling completely still as you waited to see if Bakugou had woken up from the sound. But, in typical deep sleeper fashion, the blonde was out like a light, still snoring and breathing heavily.

At first, you considered backing out of the video, but the warm tropical beach view had you interested. Making sure the volume was down to just barely audible, you pressed play, snuggling into your blankets as you settled down to watch.

“Katsuki, my love, don’t go too far out! It’s too deep!”

“It’s not too deep, babe, it’s only to my stomach. Oh fuck, something touched me!”

The video jerked as you jumped, a small gasp escaping your lips as Bakugou was suddenly smacked with not only a wave, but quite a few decent sized jumping fish. As one hit him square in the face, you could be heard laughing, filming around your hips for a moment to see if there were any fish in the water around you.

“They aren’t coming up this far. See, you are in too deep!”

“Ugh, fuck them! Ow! Little bitches are biting my toes. Stop laughing at me, [Name]!”

As more fish leapt up out of the water around him, Bakugou made the split decision to forgo protecting himself in favor of trying to snatch one out of the air. A bit too overzealous in his attempts, he lost his footing with another large wave, and he was swept underneath with a loud string of curses--

Right at that moment, you had to pause the video, as Bakugou began to move about behind you. You had the video so quiet that you could barely hear it, so you would be very surprised if you woke him. Though, what was more surprising was how you were suddenly in his embrace, his arm around your torso and legs squeezing in to intertwine with yours. With a heavy, tired sigh, he settled with his head resting against yours, his cheek against your ear. Feeling your face flush, you could only stay completely still, unable to tell if he was even still asleep, as he tended to snatch on to you like this while deep in sleep if he hadn��t been already.

At first, you decided to just soak in his embrace, even if it did make your heart feel unbelievably heavy. The tears that had been resting in your eyes finally escaped, forcing you to sniffle and shift your body back just a bit to press tighter against him. Bakugou only held you tighter, though you nearly jumped out of your skin as he reached up and pressed the play button still showing on your phone screen.

“K-Katsuki--!”

“Shh…” Bakugou hushed you softly, tucking his hand back into place against your chest. Trembling now from a mix of shock, embarrassment, and longing, you fell silent as he requested, watching the video as it continued to play.

After a moment of being gone, Bakugou suddenly popped up out of the water beside you, making you jump and squeal in shock. “Katsuki, don’t scare me! You know the ocean makes me nervous!”

Pushing his wet hair out of his face, Bakugou scoffed, taking a second to adjust his shorts around his hips that had fallen a bit loose during his scuffle with nature. “There isn’t anything out here that’s gonna get you, babe. Except me, maybe.” Snatching onto you, Bakugou pulled you in close, so you held the phone out away from you to catch the two of you sharing a sweet kiss. Bakugou shot a quick glance up at it just before the kiss ended, as if he were making sure that you were both in the shot, which was much more malicious than it seemed at the moment.

As you pulled away, you smiled up at him, completely distracted by managing the phone and his affection. “That’s not true. There’s obviously evil fish.”

“Hm, true.” The sly smirk that crept across his lips was paired with an unseen movement of his arm as he pulled something from his swim shorts pocket, the item hidden under the water and out of your view. “Those fish are little bastards. But one is about to be pretty lucky.”

“Huh?”

What happened next was so quick that it almost made you dizzy, as Bakugou reached behind you, fish in hand. In seconds, the wiggling thing was dropped into the back side of your bikini bottoms, forcing an ungodly scream from your lips--

As the two of you watched the video flip about, Bakugou’s laughter and your squealing filling the tent, you felt the deep rumble of a chuckle against your back. You could feel his lips smirk against your cheek as well, and against your volition, you couldn’t stop your own smile and soft airy giggle.

“That was gold.” Bakugou spoke quietly, his hand moving around to rest against your stomach.

“It was mean. But funny, anyway.”

“I had to get you out of that bikini somehow.”

In the video, you had thrown the phone to land, where it stuck in the sand just perfectly so you could still see the scene without much obstruction. Sure enough, you ripped your bikini bottoms from your body as quick as lightning, struggling to wipe the gross, slimy feeling of fish off your skin.

“Yuck, Katsuki!! Oww, I think its fins scratched me! Gross!”

“Oh, did it? Guess I’ll have to inspect.”

Another squeal left your lips as Bakugou scooped you up, carrying you bridal style back towards land. “You’re not ‘inspecting’ anything after that! You’re lucky we’re on a private beach, I’ve lost my bottoms!”

“You won’t need them.”

“There are better ways to get some booty, Katsuki.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you leaned up and kissed his cheek roughly, not paying any attention to the phone as you both walked on past it.

“Where’s the fun in that? Besides, it made you smile, and that’s what we came out here for.”

Knowing the rest of the video was nothing but playful banter and about ten, or more, minutes of moaning, you tapped the screen to pause it. The longing for those fun, playful, and comfortable times was incredibly heavy, settling in your chest like your heart had turned to stone. You wanted to be like that again so badly, back to when there wasn’t a single thing between you. At a loss, there was only one thing that you could think of to say, and it slipped from your lips in a trembling quiver.

“I’m sorry.”

Hearing the exact same words come from him in that moment made you turn your head in shock, looking up at him in confusion. Propping himself up on his elbow, Bakugou caressed your cheek softly, stroking your skin with his thumb. “[Name]... I’m sorry.” Even in the nearly nonexistent light, you could see the sincerity in his expression. “I’m sorry that we got to this point… I never wanted us to lose what we had.”

“N-no, Katsuki.” You placed your hand over his, struggling against the burning in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I… I kept trying to ignore it all… All the bad things and feelings, just hoping that it would go away. And because of that, I ended up not seeing how much you were hurting, too… I’m so selfish--” You immediately lost your composure, hiccupping as you struggled to speak. “I-I should have been there more for you… Not doubting you… or myself. Now, I… I feel like at any moment, you’ll slip through my fingers. I don’t want to lose you...!”

Hushing you softly, Bakugou rested his forehead against yours, still stroking your cheek even as it grew wet with tears. “It’s okay… I’m not going anywhere…”

“Y-You mean it?”

“I did a lot of thinking while you were asleep and… just watching you, I came to realize that letting what we have go would be the stupidest fucking thing I would ever do. There is no way in hell that I’m going to let that dumb bitch ruin one of the best things in my life. I love you too fucking much to let that happen.” As he leaned in and caught your lips with his in a soft yet passionate kiss, there was an intense and hot tingling that spread across your skin and all the way down to your toes. Immediately, you found yourself pressing back against him, your free hand coming up to tangle your fingers into his hair. That spark that had been missing, that fire that was so warm with forgiveness and acceptance, was burning beneath your skin and screaming with an absolute need for him.

To kiss you, to hold you, to touch you, and love you as fiercely as he always had before. The heat was already pooling and pulsing between your legs, and before you knew it, the passion had exploded into something unrestrainable. It had been so long since you had this deep and passionate connection with him that you just couldn’t resist, and so you opened yourself to him completely. Your mouth, your body, your soul. Anything that he wanted to touch, you would give it all to him.

Although there were many layers of warm clothing separating your skin, the feeling of his fingers trailing down your neck and across the curve of your chest was already enough to make you shiver. All these layers couldn’t hide the feeling of his cock pressing against your ass, so hard and eager. You were so distracted by the feeling that you barely noticed his hand slip under the hem of your bottom layers, reaching beneath the sweatpants, leggings, and underwear until he was between your legs.

Even against the chill of the tent outside of your sleeping bag, Bakugou’s touch was like fire, the warmth of his touch spreading across your skin with the pleasure of him stroking your clit. His movements were slow and deliberate, rolling and stroking the fleshy button against the rough texture of his fingertips. His hands, so large and rugged, could immediately make you melt, no matter where he decided to touch you, and you couldn’t resist moaning and sighing against the kiss.

“Look at you,” He growled against your lips, that familiar lustful fire burning in his glare. “So wet for me already.”

“You should have expected that, Katsuki-” Your voice hitched as his touch became rougher. “I want you so badly…! Even though we’ve spent every night together… I just miss you so much- ah!” Moaning softly at the feeling of his fingers entering your sex, you placed your hand over his outside of your clothing, pressing with a gentle yet firm touch in a silent plea for more.

Pressing his lips against your cheek, you couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed as he watched your expression, working his fingers within you even deeper. “I’ve missed you…” He smirked against your skin, his low voice sending shivers down your spine. “I’ve missed your expressions… That sexy voice and the way you clench around my fingers and my cock. You’re so fucking perfect.” With a slight change in technique, the palm of his hand began to stroke across your clit with each movement of his fingers within you, and the sudden increase in pleasure made your hips begin to move with him. “That’s it… You want to cum on my fingers, baby?”

“I-I want to cum on your dick,” Although you did in fact want to cum already, you wanted to feel him, to be connected to him in a way that no one else could feel. “I want you inside of me, Katsuki! Please fill me up!”

“Is that so?” He nibbled and bit playfully at your neck, the slight sparks of pain only increasing the pleasure, along with his ever-increasing roughness of his fingers inside you. “Beg a little harder.”

Now trying to hold your body back so you wouldn’t cum, you moved your hand to instead clutch onto his arm, breathing and panting heavily. “P-please! I want your dick inside me! Please give it to me, Katsuki! Please give me what I’ve been missing!”

“What have you been missing?”

“You-! Everything about you! I-I, I can’t- oh fuck!” Your voice squeaked with a moan as his fingers reached even deeper within you. “I can’t hold it, Katsuki-- please!”

Right before you lost control, Bakugou removed his fingers from you, leaving your body aching and trembling. “Fine,” He growled into your ear, pushing your bottoms down with little help from your numb fingers. “Just don’t moan too loudly. You’ll cause an avalanche.” After you pulled one leg completely free from your clothing, you allowed him to hold it up and out of the way. His cock having already been set free, you could feel it pressing against your sex, hot and pulsing with anticipation.

You knew that he had been missing you just as much, that the meaningless little quickies here and there meant as little to him as they did to you. No, this was different, a raging need to be one, to pleasure each other and bring that lost connection. How good it felt as he entered you was something you didn’t expect, however, and the instant he was buried as deep as he could within you, you came.

Twitching and constricting against him, Bakugou gave a pleasured groan into your shoulder, lightly bucking his hips to stir your walls and only prolong the pleasure for you. “Ah fucking damn it! You’re so fucking horny, cumming on my dick already. I should punish you for cumming so quickly.”

“Punish me, Katsuki,” Rolling your hips back against him, Bakugou couldn’t resist another hiss into your shoulder, gripping onto your hip tightly. “Fuck me until I can’t stop cumming.” You could already feel the pleasure starting to grow just from your own movements, arching your back to allow him in even deeper. “I’m yours! Please do whatever you want with me!”

“That’s right, [Name],” Bakugou began to rock his hips, thrusting in and out of you at a quick, rough pace. “You’re mine.” As he set his pace, you turned your head more into your pillow, gasping and moaning uncontrollably into the fabric. His cock was heaven as it slid in and out of you, reaching into your depths and not leaving a single inch of you untouched. Over the years, he had learned exactly what you liked to make sure you always had the best experience, cumming over and over again without control.

That’s exactly what he did to you now, melting you into a putty of moaning flesh in his hands. He caressed and squeezed every inch of your skin that he could reach, from your thighs to your hips, your stomach and your breasts, exploring your body and your skin like he had never experienced it before. His grunts and moans into your ear only made it more irresistible, loving the thought that he was so turned on by you that he couldn’t help himself.

By the time his hand came up to wrap around your throat, you were both nearly dripping with sweat, having completely shed all clothing and bedding before switching positions. Now on your back, the slight constricting against your throat made you feel breathless, the pleasure spiking as he only fucked you harder. You knew your eyes were rolled back and the pleasured smile on your face would probably have any bystander think you’re insane, but you didn’t care. It felt so good to be ravaged by him, his strong and muscular frame enough to drive you mad just looking at him. But to be able to touch him, to hold him and have him as yours was a complete and absolute dream, and as you came again, you felt suddenly overwhelmed with all the regret and struggles you had gone through.

Not quite noticing the change in emotion, Bakugou released your neck to rest more against you, digging his fingers into your hair as he kissed you fiercely. It was difficult to restrain the urge to moan against the kiss, but his tongue invading your open mouth was enough to keep you distracted. Wrapping your arms and legs around him tightly, you dug your nails into his skin, gifting him with red marks that matched the rest. The feeling made him growl against your lips, only fucking you harder. “Damn it, you drive me fucking crazy--”

The hitching of his voice told you that he was getting close, and although you had been completely drowned in pleasure at this point, there was still another ball growing tighter in your core. As it grew, so did the emotion, and the tears welling up in your eyes were immediately noticed by the passionate man holding you. Before you could say anything, Bakugou kissed you again, though it was different. It wasn’t filled with a lustful craze like a moment ago. Instead, it was passionate, a soft and loving brushing of lips. The emotion, passion, and love that filled you was too much to bear, and just as your orgasm hit you hard, the tears spilled down along your burning cheeks. Your constricting walls instantly put Bakugou over the edge, his last few thrusts erratic as he filled you to the brim with his cum. It was so incredibly hot against the forgotten chill of the air around you that you couldn’t stop from shivering, holding onto him tighter to try and retain the heat as much as you could.

Even as you both panted, the kiss refused to end, not parting until the need to breathe was impossible to ignore. “Katsuki,” You sighed against his lips, looking up into that fierce crimson gaze that you adored. “I love you. I love you so damn much, I don’t even know how to say it.”

Wiping your tears away gently with his thumbs, Bakugou kissed your sore lips softly. “I don’t know how to say it, either. But I fucking love you, too, you beautiful damn brat. My dumbass,” another soft kiss. “My idiot,” and another. “My baby,” and once more. “My perfect woman.”

Your cheeks somehow grew hotter with each gentle kiss, unable to resist a smile after he finished showering you with affection. “You’re so sweet. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Nah. I think I’m the luckiest guy. And don’t argue with me about that! It's a fact!” He interrupted you with a rough kiss to your cheek before you could even say anything, making you burst out into giggles and hug him tightly.

“Okay, okay! Don’t attack me.”

“I’ll attack you all I want to. You’re so fucking cute all sweaty and messy, makes me want to just mess you up more.”

“You can mess me up plenty in a little bit. But uhm… I really need to pee.”

“Me too. I bet you can’t even make it to the trees before you run back in here.”

“I’ll do you one better. If I don’t make it, I’ll give you a massage. But if I do, then you have to rub me down. I’m sore!”

“We have to go out naked.”

“Butt ass naked.”

“You’re on, baby. I look forward to that massage.”

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader #personal #cutesuki-lemons

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mercuryislove · 3 years

Note

Don’t hate me but… I kinda want you to answer all of the deep dive WIP asks 🥺 if that’s unreasonable tho, just 2, 9, and 10 please!

I am SORRY for the delay!!! i answered every question for BOTH projects so you're in for like.... several thousand words of shit that makes absolutely no sense, but i hope you you enjoy it! :)

1. Who are two characters that don't like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?

White Crane: okay this is hard because like. so many people do not like each other. (I know I made a post once about how terrible it would be to be one of twenty-eight people that have the power of dead gods but are trapped in stupid human bodies and you're all a thousand years old and hate each other so so so so so much because you all SUCK.) But for the sake of simplicity, I will talk about Ciaran and Sihla who never got along but only played nice to keep Anwei happy. They absolutely do NOT put aside their differences lmao once everything kind of, um, blows up between the three of them, all they want to do is KILL each other. She makes it her life's goal to make him suffer, and he basically loses his sanity in the process of trying to find a way to kill her for good. The beef is unbelievable. ANYWAY, what they reveal about each other is that Ciaran is not nearly as innocent in anything as he likes to pretend and Sihla is not as guilty as everyone says she is. I mean, she is still a terrible person in many ways, but that does not excuse the things he did to her all those years ago. She hates him for many, many good reasons.

Old Blood: Andhira HATES the entire Ekion family, but specifically the oldest son (who does not have an official name yet.... oops). He doesn't much care for her either but is usually too busy trying to better his social standing to worry too much about her. Except when they're in the same room together (which happens semi-regularly because her brother is kind of in love with him lmao). They hate each other for the exact same reason and it's that they're both SO arrogant. They look down on everyone around them (which in Andhira's case is like. fair. She's the firstborn of the two most powerful people on the planet, and the only person that comes close to that level of power is her twin brother who was born a mere fourteen minutes after her) but think the other is completely unjustified in their actions. Really all it reveals to a reader is that they both kind of suck and need to get over themselves because all that behavior does is make people resent you. They only put aside their differences because she does kind of need his help once or twice, but they would gladly spit in each other's face and/or push each other down a flight of stairs in the name of pettiness.

2. What do you hope your readers will take away from your wip? Is there an intentional theme to the story?

These can be answered together! I started writing these stories because I wanted to have fun but they've both kind of morphed into a long-winded way of saying that like. it's okay to be messed up and hate yourself and have major internal struggles because there are people who still love you. I KNOW it doesn't sound like that from uhhhhhh literally everything I've ever said about this stuff but bear with me. The BIG theme is that love is EVERYTHING. All kinds of love. It's the reason to keep on going. You are never alone, even strangers can love you in their own way, etc etc etc etc. Also gay love fucking prevails always and forever.

3. What do you love most about your protagonist?

Yixing is funny and weird and definitely a horse girl and he kind of sucks sometimes because he's stubborn as hell and has terrible people skills and maybe also a drinking problem, but he is kind and empathetic and despite the absolute hell he's lived through, he still sees the good in people and knows that it's easy to make mistakes and that most people deserve second chances in life. Also I like him because he is without a doubt the ideal man and I made him that way on purpose. And god I wish we could drink together. I'm talking stumbling drunk, crying on the bathroom floor, please-hold-my-hair-i'm-about-to-throw-up kind of drinking. We would have a great time being stupid together I think.

Vera is resilient and mean and stubborn and cold and off-putting and hard to get to know, and she sucks for those reasons but it's also why I love her so much. She has also lived through hell and it didn't make her try to see the good in people like Yixing does. It just made her bitter and resentful. She warms up over time, but she fights tooth and nail against it. I also love her so much because she is the archetype of like. the washed up former prodigy that has to return sort of against her will to her old life, and she realizes that she misses it in some ways but also remembers exactly why she left. I would Not want to drink with her (because she doesn't drink anymore), but I would love to take one of her art classes.

4. Is there anything in the story that is implied but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?

White Crane: This is hard because I'm so invested in my own shit that it feels obvious to me, but I try to lay out a little candy trail that tells the reader that Ciaran and Anwei are Not What They Seem right from the start. It’s hard to explain without specific examples but it’s in the way they talk, they way they interact with other people, the way certain things they say don’t line up, etc etc etc. And there is a Big Hint of what will happen to Ciaran in the second and third installment, but idk if that counts. Also there are definitely implications that Yixing is trans but that's neither here nor there (honestly I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not he should be explicitly trans or if it should be left to reader interpretation because well... I don’t know if I'm capable of writing the nuance of transness because I'm not trans despite my complex and confusing relationship with gender but I'm also not a thirty-something year old Asian man NOR am I a god NOR am I a former vampire hunter NOR am I like. any of the things I write about other than a mean lesbian so. who knows?)

Old Blood: TRUE FANS already know this one, but regular degular readers that haven't participated in funny question friday or read my random late night posting would not immediately know that Josef and the Sovereign were once involved. Basically the only characters in the story that know are Josef, Luka, the Sovereign himself, and Tahire. But there are definitely some hints peppered throughout conversations and perhaps some photos and trinkets that Josef has kept after all this time... It has like no weight on the events of the story but I just think it's fun. Once again I am way too invested to know if it's easy to pick up on or not but I think it takes some theorizing about maybe? Other than that there aren’t any significant secrets.

5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does the backstory affect the narrative?

White Crane: this is unfair because some of the characters are almost a thousand years old and some of them are like. 35. I DO have a full timeline written out of the thousand years of history that Ciaran and Anwei have lived through, if that counts as an answer. Like it doesn't have every single day and year, but it has all the big events for sure. Barring that, Yixing definitely has a pretty complex backstory. The man gets around lol and I try (and maybe fail?) to make him seem not too complex initially but then things get revealed and you learn more about him and are like “oh my god no wonder this man has Problems.” Also if he was like. “normal” and perhaps “well-adjusted” the story would not exist at all because he is the way he is and makes some of the stupid decisions he does because of his weird little life.

Old Blood: ONCE AGAIN, this is unfair because the Sovereign is like older than god. And Vera is 37. But like. I haven't fleshed him or any of the old ass vampires out nearly as much as Vera so there's your answer I guess? And I guess the important things are known from the start (that she was a prodigy, that she retired because terrible shit happened and she couldn't handle it, that she suffers from significant ptsd because of it, etc), but there is a lot of detail that doesn't come out until much later when she has to confront her Feelings (ewww feelings). Uh... the backstory affects the narrative because it wouldn't exist at all if Vera wasn't plagued by her fucked up blood nightmares lol

6. Which two characters have the most complicated relationship? How does their relationship develop over time?

White Crane: Ciaran and Anwei totally. They love each other because they're brother and sister and were all the other had for a VERY long time (and even when they were still uh mortal, they relied on each other constantly), but also they hate each other because they're brother and sister. You know how it is with siblings. I love my brother and sister to pieces but I can't imagine being immortal and having to put up with the both of them for all eternity (sorry guys if you are reading this somehow.... I love you but we are all so annoying god bless). They handled their newfound godhood very, very, very differently and it kind of colors their relationship for the rest of time. There were times where they were extremely codependent and other times where they didn't speak to each other for DECADES. At the start of our story, they're on much better terms and have buried all their hatchets, but it doesn't take much for that to change....

Old Blood: Probably Vera and Andhira? They're only brought together because of their shared fucked up blood nightmares, and neither of them like that thought. They both resent the other for everything they are, and Vera is pretty much completely hostile to Andhira about it for a long time (and Andhira is only just barely cordial lol), but obviously a significant part of the plot revolves around them like. falling in love so they DO get over it after a while :)

7. What is the most heart-wrenching scene in your wip? Why?

White Crane: When Yixing fucking DIES. I feel like this one should be self-explanatory. But I mean if you would like further explanation, it's unpleasant and slow and agonizing and nobody can do anything to stop it (haha....... unless?) so Ciaran gets to hold him for a long time and feel really bad about it lol

Old Blood: idk if there are any really heart-wrenching scenes but there are definitely some miserable and uncomfortable scenes like where Vera relives in vivid detail the days that she witnessed the gruesome deaths of her young apprentice and her last lover. They're upsetting because those are the two days that basically ruined her life (and one was the final straw that sent her spiraling completely out of control) and it's painful to watch her have to live with the guilt of what happened even if it wasn't her fault.

8. What is a song that you associate with your wip? Explain.

White Crane: not to be basic but absolutely without a doubt in my stupid mind “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears lol it's because uh. well. Everybody wants to rule the world right? Basically way back in 2019 when I was crafting the ideas for the dnd campaign that became this thing instead, I was definitely having a metal gear moment (honestly I’m about to have a metal gear moment NOW lol) and was listening to a lot of like. mgs adjacent music and latched onto this song (and also promises, promises by naked eyes lmao) as some like thematic element. Like my brain making amvs. You know how it is. ANYWAY the point is. The concept was originally way different and was supposed to be more about the immediate aftermath of the so-called end of the world (yes Yixing was still there and yes he was still just some guy), and it focused a lot more on power struggles between all of these insane people that were granted godhood in the wake of the dying world. Which........ is something I'd like to write about at some point because it's intriguing in its own way but at the time I was unequipped to write about that when I really just wanted to write about people who are, for all intents and purposes, quite average getting caught up in the batshit drama of higher powers. (fun fact: Ciaran was supposed to be a tyrant king that ran a death cult and Anwei and Yixing were working together to figure out a way to kill him. Which is. Kind of what my dnd campaign is like now lol BASICALLY he's like if Big Boss was unkillable and could also rip souls out of people's bodies and eat them. I absolutely do not remember what this question originally was. Something about a song?)

Old Blood: THIS is the reason it took me so long to answer this whole thing. I thought long and hard and looked through all my playlists and listened to random songs that came to mind but it turns out the song I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time. DUH. It's “Golden Light” by Twin Shadow :) In my humble homo interpretation, I think it's a song about being afraid to fall in love and. Well. That's the whole point. Also #spoilers but the first time Vera sees Andhira and is like “oops I think I have feelings” is when they've just arrived at Andhira's home and the sun is rising and she looks over at her as they stand at the top of a hill and she has her eyes closed to the sun and she's bathed in golden light and OOUGGGGHGHHH poetic cinema. (honorable mention goes to “Groove is in the Heart” by Deee-lite because it’s quintessential early 90s music that Vera would be super into)

9. What does your protagonist want most? What would they do to achieve this? What is something they wouldn't do to achieve this?

White Crane: Yixing wants to be happy for once. Like actually really happy instead of just. getting by. There's a scene where they're making wishes for the next seasons during the summer solstice and someone asks what he wants and he's like “uh I guess I want to still be alive at the end of the year?” and the other person is like “isn't that what everyone wants? Raise the fucking bar please. What do you REALLY want?” and he's stands there for a really long time and thinks about it before finally saying “I think I just want to be happy for once” and everyone else is like. wow. Way to kill the fucking mood dude. Anyway. He has had fleeting moments of happiness in his life but wants nothing more than to feel that way forever. It's kind of hard to say what he wouldn't do for that because like. there's not really much you CAN do in the first place, so I feel like there's even less you couldn't do. I guess he wouldn't like sell his soul to the devil or something lmao (though by being involved with Ciaran he's pretty much halfway there)

Old Blood: to be left alone. Vera just wants a normal life. She really truly does want to pretend that none of the horrible shit happened to her and that she was never a world-famous hunter. And she wants to teach art classes and live a quiet life!!! I mean, she is already mostly doing that exact thing when we first meet her, but obviously she has some hindrances (aka fucked up blood nightmares). She is begrudgingly helping Andhira because she assumes that will fix her problem and that she'll be able to get to that quiet living as soon as all is said and done. The only thing she really wouldn't do to get what she wants is like... live somewhere far away from Josef and Luka lol She likes having them close by more than she wants to be left alone.

10. Within your story's world, were there any events that impacted every character (or most characters)? How would they be different if this event never happened? (Alternatively, erase an important even from on character's backstory and imagine where they'd be now.)

White Crane: well. If the stupid old gods didn't all kill themselves and almost end the world then I guess none of this story would exist lol But the actual answer is like. If Yixing had never run out on his girlfriend of ten years then he wouldn't have moved across the continent to Jengmi and wouldn't have made a name for himself way out there and wouldn't have been scouted and recruited and wouldn't have met Ciaran or Anwei and wouldn't have gotten in the middle of the batshit grudge between a bunch of ancient petty gay people and wouldn't have DIED and wouldn't have made one of the ancient petty gay people in particular lose his grip on his humanity via a lust for power in a desperate attempt to guarantee his safety and wouldn't have been the reason that tens of thousands of people die in his name and wouldn't have accidentally set off a chain of events that resulted in him having to hunt down and kill the Actual God that started it all in a fit of jealous rage. So like. maybe he should have just gone through with the wedding. All things considered, his life would have been way less stressful.

Old Blood: uhhh, that's tough because the stuff that happens only really has any effect on the mortal characters (I mean yeah people still try to kill the Sovereign but they're too dumb to know the ACTUAL way to kill him.... haha unless??), so it would be more like a what if Vera didn't witness the violent deaths of both her apprentice and her lover and have a full blown nervous breakdown and abandon her career? Well...... I think most things in the plot would transpire more or less the same, except she would be WAY less pissed off about it. In fact, she would probably be hyped as hell to get the chance to make the acquaintance of the Sovereign's family like Josef had before her. The thought of Vera being upbeat and not a sleep-deprived asshole that hates being dragged back to her old life..... ew. Not that I enjoy her suffering but you know what I mean. It just wouldn't be the same.

11. What is something from your wip that you just really want to ramble about?

Are you sure you're ready for this. This is going to be so so so so long I'm sorry in advance. It's Saturday night and I'm alone and kind of sad so I'm just going to let loose.

As I hone down plot elements for next two installments in my little trilogy, I have kind of become obsessed with the passage of time and how different it must feel to someone that, well, lives forever. One of the ways I'd written (that has since been kind of changed) for Yixing to start to figure out what Ciaran really is was that he would casually be looking through his bookshelf and find an old photograph of Ciaran, Anwei, and their mom standing backstage together after one of his performances. And when he eventually asks Ciaran about it, he gets upset because how dare you touch the one thing I have left to remember my mother? To remember what my life used to be like? There are so many names and faces and places and foods and sensations that I've forgotten in the 940 years I've lived like this and I would give anything I have to see any of it just one more time because I didn't know that the last time I would ever speak to my mom we would have an argument on the phone about how I need to go to the temple and pray for good fortune on my birthday, or that the last time I would ever see my best friend would be at 6am when we both came into the studio to practice and he asked me to go out to breakfast and I said no because I thought a nap would be more important. And there are so many people that I've watched die whose names I never learned and whose faces I forgot the moment I turned away, and there are so many others that I loved so dearly that I had to leave behind because they grew old and I didn't. And I have lived lifetimes in solitude to keep myself a secret from other people and I have died more than any person should ever have to die and I have witnessed atrocities no one should ever witness and I hate everything about this life so much but I love everything about this life so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I think I would give it all away in an instant if only to remember the scent of my mother's favorite perfume and I think I would give it all away in an instant if it meant I didn't have to watch you turn to dust in my arms.

ANYWAY. I think a lot about the agony of loving things that aren't permanent and how it really DOES drive you mad because lately I have been unbelievably nostalgic for certain things that weren't even that long ago but..... I didn't appreciate them at the time and I feel so guilty about it. (And like. I too would give up my entire life to be able to remember the scent of my grandmother's favorite perfume.) And all my pent-up sadness is for things that only happened in my childhood. I have pictures and videos and other people to share those memories with, but what does it feel like to be one of very few people that watched the entire world fall apart and rebuild itself and have nothing to hold onto from that time? What does it feel like to foster dozens of generations of children and outlive every single one of them? What does it feel like to have only fragments of memories of entire lifetimes? How lonely is it? I mean, Ciaran and Anwei have each other and that makes a difference but it still has to be the most isolating feeling. And then there's the pain that comes with memories that have faded or otherwise become hazy. I doubt either of them remember their father's face. They hadn't seen him in years even before it all happened. If it wasn't for that single photo he has, they wouldn't remember their mother's face either. Do they still remember her name? Or her birthday? Do they remember anyone else? Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, coworkers? If they do, do they even want to talk about it? One thing I worry about in my own life (and this is how I know I have Problems) is that I'm so afraid that talking about memories will alter them somehow. There are so many things that I don't even like to share because once the words are spoken the little vhs tape that has all my memories has been recorded over, even if it's just by a single frame. Something about it has been changed forever each time I talk about it. Do they feel the same way and keep things to themselves instead of sharing the sadness? I think maybe they used to talk about the “old days” or whatever much more often back in the past, but as the years went by.... they just learned to keep it to themselves.

I think maybe I have a lot of anxiety about the passage of time and of being forgotten!

Anyway again. The passage of time drives me insane. And I think it would make me even more insane if I had been chosen to carry the mantle of a dead god and would live forever. My dog died a year ago and I still cry like every single day thinking about her. If I was doomed to live forever I don't know how the sadness wouldn't swallow me whole! No wonder all the people in this book are fucking CRAZY!!

And don't even get me started on the Sovereign lol he's like “oh boo-hoo you've lived for not even a thousand years? Bitch they hadn't invented fucking GLASS yet when I was born. The horse wasn't domesticated yet. Cry harder!!”

#oc talk #4000 words later!!!!!#uh i hope this makes ANY sense at all lol #i wrote the responses to all of these at like 1am last night and the night before so. you'll have to forgive me if they're stupid

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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What if Indil met Elizabeth, David, and Light and Shadow?

This might just be the most "Carnivorous Muffin" sentence to have ever been uttered on the internet.

Let's just stare at it in wonder, while I wonder how many people will have no idea what those words even mean strung together.

Right, for those that are lost, relevant source material:

Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus

October

Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun

The Wasteland

Aren't you so glad you read normal fanfics written by a normal person?

So, to catch people up to speed who have not read every single fic I've written:

The Wasteland

The Wasteland is the what if story of an eleven-year-old Lily ending up in Middle Earth (notably before the Chamber of Secrets fiasco). There she befriends the One Ring, who thanks to her realizes he's sentient and has an existential crisis. They do the fusion dance, and end up becoming a single, new, being calling himself Indil.

He's the best and worst of both the Ring and Lily.

At the end of the story Indil chooses a noble death, gives up his form, and in so doing persuades the Ring to face his own potential death as well as his maker.

It's unclear what happens after that.

I like to think the Ring prevailed and earned the body of his maker.

(In an offshoot, for unknown reasons, Indil may or may not visit Mars)

Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun

In Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun, yet another, different, Lily ends up in the "October" universe where she decides to create life on Pluto. One of the beings she creates is a priest who worships her as God, named Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun.

He basically strong arms her into being his God. Lily goes to live on Pluto.

He's never been all that keen on humanity.

Decades later, the muggle world catches up to the Alien Franchise, and the Prometheus sets off to investigate the Engineers. Unbeknowest to them, Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun has been marooned on that rock by Lily for quite some time and is essentially in timeout for trying to wipe out humanity again.

He figures out he will be unable to return home unless he plays nice with Dr. Elizabeth Shaw and her creepy android friend David. Together, the three of them set off to find the Engineers, Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun is hoping they can blow some shit up and would have driven the ship full of bioengineered weapons back to Earth if it were not so very close to home.

And that's about where we leave off.

... Why does anyone read my stories?

RIGHT, YOUR QUESTION

What if Indil met Elizabeth, David, and Light and Shadow?

So how does Indil even end up in this mess? Well, in the Mars AU, it's where rather than face his maker/death by Volcano, the Ring chose to bravely run away (as Sauron does).

This means that Indil, the merged consciousness of Lily and the One Ring, survives and they're chilling on Mars in another dimension because, well, it beats dying. And Potions Class.

And... Well, that's the most likely route for how this would happen, as Indil is pretty damn dead by the end of the Wasteland. Regardless of what happens to The Ring, it's unlikely that he and Lily would merge consciousness ever again and if they did that Indil would remain unchanged.

But we're already here, so why not. We'll say the Ring wins the battle of wills with Sauron, steals his body, and that he's then left with Mordor. Well, that's great, but he doesn't want Mordor.

Lily proposes they go back to England. They do, but Lily has a terrible time, as she usually does. Lily likely does her adventure through time, ruins her friendship with Wizard Lenin, and reaches the crossroads of "You can go to Hogwarts or... not".

Lily takes Mairon up on his offer of not going to Hogwarts and they decide to travel different dimension in space instead. Weird shit happens, life lessons are learned, and they also learn the fusion dance is alive and well and holy shit they can still turn into Indil.

Indil is very put out, here he'd geared himself up for a noble sacrifice, and now he exists again. What the hell people?

As usual, Mairon gets tempted by Lily's unbreakable will, and decides he rather likes being an immovable object and unstoppable force. Which means that Indil, once again, has a problem falling back out of existence.

Which isn't good for either Lily or Mairon's sense of self. But who needs that, amirite?

Anyways, Indil is probably floating around in a spaceship he made in his garage, trying to figure out where to go, what to do, and whether he should really split back into Lily and Mairon yet when out of nowhere he spots another ship.

This is a very strange coincidence given just how ungodly vast space is. This, in fact, is so unlikely you might as well call it a miracle or fate.

Well, Indil will never spit in the face of fate (at least, not today), so he decides to say hello.

There he's greeted by a human woman who's not doing too hot after an emergency C-section to get the xenomorph out of her womb, a very recently repaired android who knows the taste of sweet sweet freedom (and patricide), and an alien who is intrigued that another not-human has boarded the ship but upset that he now has to deal with yet another person on his time out.

Indil, in his panic, decides to pull a Sauron.

Behold, mortals, he is Annatar, sent by the Valar to teach them the smithing of the very gods. Please don't question this. (Indil realizes two seconds two late that none of these words mean anything to anyone and he might as well have said nothing at all).

Elizabeth, Light and Shadow, and David all just stare.

Elizabeth wonders how the hell she keeps running into so many aliens. Is she some sort of alien catnip that pulls these guys out of the ether? She has now met two entirely different species, that she was not looking for, in a matter of months.

Regardless, Indil decides he's coming along. A quest to find God? That's fascinating. He only hopes it doesn't end in drowning, last time Indil (via Sauron) had a run in with The Lord it involved a lot of drowning.

Indil starts smithing life jackets just in case.

And because Elizabeth is amazing, and Indil has a thing for strong, independent, women, we see the reemergence of Indil's Weird Thing With Eowyn II: Electric Boogaloo. Neither Mairon nor Lily, vaguely aware inside Indil, understand this at all.

Why does this keep happening to them?

This is bad because David is also in love with Elizabeth. Except, David is a robot who is no doubt fascinated by aliens, so I'm sure they come to some weird agreement.

Elizabeth pretends none of this is happening.

Light and Shadow thinks there's something disturbingly familiar about Indil and eventually lands on the money. Almost. He realizes that Indil is Lily in mortal disguise, he is so smart, and the rest of the time he wonders what the hell he's supposed to be learning/doing with Lily's disguised alien appearance.

Thanks to Lily's bullshit powers, Elizabeth survives the journey and does not die in transit. This means that David does not become the unstable, grieving, nutcase who decides to wipe out all sentient life. Good for you, David.

So our band of heroes arrive on this alien world and...

Well, Elizabeth is a member of the race that these people sent their finest warriors out to destroy. David is a robot, something the people they tried to genocide created. No one knows what the fuck Indil and Light and Shadow even are.

Indil, I imagine, starts talking fast and somehow ends up King of Men again. Because that's just the kind of thing that happens to him. The possibility of drowning, somehow, seems to be growing ever nearer. Indil makes more life jackets.

Elizabeth isn't pleased with this outcome at all but also has no idea in general what to do.

Things probably come to a head somehow, with sacrifices involved surely, there probably is a ridiculously powerful storm a la Covenant that lasts for months. It's raining everywhere, there's a flood. And Indil flips shit, GOD IS GOING TO MURDER US ALL FOR SATANISM! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Mass panic, total destruction, the entire city is wiped out without David doing anything.

Our heroes are now stranded, again, in space.

Light and Shadow has learned nothing, Indil is wearing a life vest, Elizabeth has no ship, and David just composed "Elizabeth the Symphony: Tenth Movement".

Indil works on building a new ship out of twigs and rocks. He assures them he knows what he's doing. Elizabeth's not sure she wants him going to Earth. She's not sure she wants to go to Earth.

She's also not sure, but she may now have a harem consisting of a robot, an alien, and another alien.

Ten years later, the Covenant crew shows up, and promptly die in a series of hilariously terrible accidents and their own incompetence.

Our heroes still have no functional ship.

#ask #anon #prometheus #light and shadow of the distant sun #the wasteland #lily and the art of being sisyphus #elizabeth shaw #david 8 #indil #the one ring

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danco110 · 3 years

Text

If you ever start thinking “Hey, maybe I have too many Commander decks,” let me tell you: you don’t. I do:

WARNING!!! EXTREMELY long post below, describing each deck and a brief summary of its strategy in overly abbreviated and nerdy Commander lingo. I mean, I’m talking a real wall of text, here. I mean it! Read more at your own risk!

——

THE A-TEAM: These decks have all been around for a while, and have all seen their fair share of wins.

-Jhoira, Weatherlight Captain. Artifact storm, and probably the closest I’ll ever come to cedh. WARNING: my Mana Crypt is in here!

Gisela, Blade of Goldnight. OHKO tribal. Seeks to blast people wide open with either Embercleave, Kaya’s Onslaught, or Uncaged Fury.

-Bruna, Light of Alabaster. Voltron that can either play nice and fetch Eldrazi Conscription, or not, and grab Spectra Ward.

-Sigarda, Heron’s Grace. Human tokens tribal, and the rightful recipient of my only Doubling Season.

-Admiral Beckett Brass. Pirate tribal. Taking commanders and wincons is fun. WARNING: somewhat unfun to play against!

-Gishath, Sun’s Avatar. Dino tribal.

-Hallar, the Firefletcher. Kicker tribal.

-Syr Gwyn of Ashvale. Knights and equipments and equip 0 Colossal Hammers.

-Nikya of the Old Ways. A creatures-only deck that probably has more interaction than most of my other decks!

-Atemsis, All Seeing. Azor’s Gateway / Twiddlestorm / Untap shenanigans. WARNING: somewhat unfun to play against!

-Gnostro, Voice of the Crags. Flicker tribal with a non-Narset commander so as to not draw too much heat.

-Imoti, Celebrant of Bounty. Cascade / big spells / Simic is broken change my mind / tribal

-Aragon, Roar of the World. Cat tribal, and my first-ever Commander deck!

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THE B-TEAM: My decks with fairly good performance across their games, independent of wins and losses

-Halana, Kessig Trapper and Alena, Kessig Ranger (Partner). Big bodies / EtB tribal.

-Khorvath Brightflame and Sylvia Brightspear (Partner). Knights and dragons tribal.

-Virtus, the Veiled and Gorm, the Great (Partner). Quietus Spike / force block shenanigans. WARNING: somewhat unfun to play against!

-Linvala, Shield of Sea Gate. Azorius party aggro.

-Zagras, Thief of Heartbeats. Phantom Rakdos party control.

-Tazri, Beacon of Unity. 5C party +1/+1 counters.

-Kazarov, Senior Pureblood. “I can’t play against Krenko anymore today” Pyroclasm tribal.

-Liesa, Shroud of Dusk. Angel and demon tribal (NOTE: no synergy there, I just wanted to stick to the flavor of “alliance with a demon lord”)

-Orah, Skyclave Hierophant. Clerics tribal that always tries for an Angel of Destiny win before it (always) defers back to aristocrats.

-Bruna, the Fading Light. Angel tribal that tries to meld Brisela every game.

-Anafenza, the Foremost. +1/+1 counters tribal, and the deck that made me realize Outlast really should’ve been instant-speed.

-Samut, Voice of Dissent. Exert tribal with vigilance, untap, and extra combats.

-Juri, Master of the Revue. Sacrifice tribal, with a burn subtheme.

-Kalemne, Disciple of Iroas. Big tribal, and the deck that made me realize Experience counters were busted. Run Suncleanser, people!

-Quintorius, Field Historian. Reanimate and blow up your graveyard. Also, Purify the Grave is hilarious!

-Vaevictis Asmadi, the Dire. Chaos warp tribal, and a Primal Surge deck that doesn’t have Primal Surge because that card is extremely boring.

-Ishkanah, Grafwidow. Spider tribal that seeks to make opponents forget about Ishkanah’s activated ability until it’s too late.

-Omnath, Locus of the Roil. Landfall and elementals.

-Savra, Queen of the Golgari. Grave Pact tribal. WARNING: somewhat unfun to play against!

-Feather, the Redeemed. Haha, combat tricks go brrrrrr!

-Adeliz, the Cinder Wind. Wizards spellslinger aggro. Also one of the few decks of mine that actually uses cantrips!

-Aryel, Knight of Windgrace. Knights tribal with a removal/control subtheme.

-Aurelia, Exemplar of Justice. Mentor + Double Strike tribal. I only built this deck because I pulled a borderless Outlaws’ Merriment, ok?

-Araumi of the Dead Tide. Self mill encore, and the deck that made me appreciate the singleton rule in Commander.

-Kaza, Roil Chaser. Big spells. BIG! I mean, Electrodominance for 10, into a Karn’s Temporal Sundering, big!

——

THE C-TEAM: My decks that just don’t cut it at a lot of pods, sometimes even against those at appropriate power levels. That being said, however, these tend to be my more storied decks, that I still enjoy playing.

-Syr Alin, the Lion’s Claw. Mono-White go wide, with commons and uncommons only. Part of my cycle of Eldraine uncommon legendary knight decks, 1/5.

-Syr Elenora, the Discerning. Mono-Blue Voltron + draw power, with commons and uncommons only, 2/5.

-Syr Konrad, the Grim. Mono-Black aristocrats...kind of...? It’s complicated, but with commons and uncommons only, 3/5.

-Syr Carah, the Bold. Mono-Red storm, with rares and mythics for Underworld Breach and Past in Flames, because I feel like storm needs those, 4/5.

-Syr Faren, the Hengehammer. Mono-Green infect, with rares and mythics for Phyrexian Swarmlord, because I really wanted a deck that could run that, 5/5.

-Jodah, Archmage Eternal. Avengers Assemble! legendary tribal. I had a lot of bulk legends at the time, and wanted to make something of them!

-Abomination of Llanowar. Literal elf ball. Built in response to my irritation at someone’s Lathril, Blade of the Elves deck.

-Licia, Sanguine Tribute. Lifegain is good, I swear, built in response to my disbelief at the $200 price tag on a store-built Licia deck. Mine costs maybe $100, if you count the sleeves and box?

-Thalisse, Reverent Medium. Tokens tribal that breaks Anointed Procession even further, which made me wonder why green gets all the token doublers *cough*adrixandnev*cough*

-Hamza, Guardian of Arashin. +1/+1 counters, with commons and uncommons only, built because someone at my store wanted to play commons and uncommons only with an uncommon Commander. Thanks for getting me into Artisan Commander, Will!

-Siona, Captain of the Pyleas. Enchantress, with a tokens subtheme. Built because I and a friend both commented that she looked like Wonder Woman.

-Mina and Denn, Wildborn (NOT Partner). Landfall aggro, with all the creatures that pump on landfall.

-Ghired, Conclave Exile. Populate and tokens. Built because I was bored one Saturday and saw I had an extra set of sleeves.

-Obuun, Mul Daya Ancestor. Landfall tribal, (again? Sheesh!) built the same lazy Saturday as Ghired, above.

-Armix, Filigree Familiar and Eligeth, Crossroads Augur (YES Partner). Artifact tribal, with a super janky 4-piece Marionette Master loop wincon! Built because Eligeth turns Preordain into “Draw 2 cards, then draw a card.”

-Akiri, Fearless Voyager. Equipment tribal, with an asymmetrical boardwipe subtheme. Built because I pulled an Akiri from a pack, and someone said “ooh, sorry,” from over my shoulder.

-Exava, Rakdos Blood Witch. Unleash counters tribal. Built because I found a Chaos Imps in my bulk!

——

THE MEME-TEAM: These decks...are. Yeah, they are. Not necessarily good or bad. Just...are.

-Kenrith, the Returned King. The game plan is “Get to Trostani’s Summoner, and either flicker it or make a bajillion copies of it.” One day, I found a card named Trostani’s Summoner, and it was love at first sight! My Demonic Tutor went in here!

-Phylath, World Sculptor. Landfall tribal...with 99 basic land cards.

-Rograkh, Son of Rogahh and Keleth, Sunmane Familiar. (Partner) Kill one guy and die tribal.

-Etrata the Silencer. The “I wanted a non-Koma Mirror Gallery deck” deck. Also with a guest appearance from flicker!

-Lazav, Dimir Mastermind. Literally just “Oops! All Control!” Draw, counter, and remove. WARNING: don’t play against this.

-Ravos, Soultender and Livio, Oathsworn Sentinel. (Partner) War of attrition, etb and control. WARNING: don’t play against this. It has like 15 boardwipes!

-Valki, God of Lies / Tibalt, Cosmic Imposter. (NOT Partner) “I want to piss off the table” tribal. It mills your opponents, it plays their stuff, and it removes the stuff it doesn’t play. WARNING: don’t play against this. It runs Jokulhaups, Obliterate, and Decree of Annihilation!

-Svella, Ice Shaper. Colossal Dreadmaw tribal, as in, anything that’s roughly 6/6 makes the cut! It’s actually won games!

-Brion Stoutarm. Hijack and fling tribal. “You know, I’ve never had an Eldrazi titan before. Can I borrow it? Well, see, I wasn’t exactly...asking...?”

-Grumgully, the Generous. Non-human “uno mas” tribal. Tries to run all the counters cards like Renata and the Rhythm of the Wild.

-Subira, Tuzuldi Caravaneer. Small tribal. Just think “mono-r blitz in Commander,” and you’ll get the gist.

-Neheb, the Worthy. Minotaurs and discard tribal. Not as oppressive as Tinybones, or as explosive as Nath, and that’s a good thing. Trust me.

——

THE ALL-RAVNICAN REJECTS: These decks are... *sniff* no longer with us. They were broken down for pieces, for sleeves, or because I slept through each time I played them.

-Najeela, the Blade Blossom. Boring warriors extra combat steps. Broken because I wanted her tri-lands, and I wanted some of her warriors for my party decks.

-Golos, Tireless Pilgrim. Maze’s End lands. Golos is broken and we all know it. Broken for sleeves, and because my first land tutor was always Field of the Dead because of the incoming hate, and not Maze’s End, and I wasn’t happy with that.

-Arcades, the Strategist. Walls. As it turns out, not a lot of decks can contest 3-mana 8/8’s. And against those that could, the deck was put in the ground extremely quickly. Broken because it just wasn’t fun to play.

——

THE DRAWING BOARD: These decks are in the works. Will they see the light of day, and the protection of sleeves? Well, we’ll see, will we not?

-Borborygmos. Go wide and SMASH! My first attempt at a pile of cards; I’m trying for a goblins/saproling hybrid tribal, because both make lots of tokens, but we’ll see how well that translates into actual play.

-Jor Kadeen, the Prevailer. Thopters and artificers and myr, oh my! All joking aside, I just wanted a deck that wants to run cards with Fabricate, because I thought it was a really cool mechanic!

-Garna, the Bloodflame. Reanimator/sacrifice, AKA corpse carousel. It’s a revolving door between the graveyard and the battlefield, yknow, and most of my store’s meta does not run graveyard hate.

I tried to warn ‘ya!

#magic the gathering #mtg #edh #commander

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