#the problem is that i don't think this show is entirely as callous as it has the reputation of being

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i know this is me being way too sentimental but i keep thinking about roman finally cracking and breaking down (probably at/around logan’s funeral) and gerri comforting him, send help

[transmutationisms]

I read your review of Poor Things and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the section in Alexandria? It was horrifically executed on many levels but narratively, that part of the film is about Bella learning about class structure. She rebels against the cruelty of society through charity then by working as a prostitute, during which time she has cruelty inflicted upon her instead. Finally, she realizes that God’s creation of her was ultimately cruel, and then she runs away with her ex-husband-father only to realize that her prior self-mother was fundamentally characterized by cruelty, especially to her “lessers.” She then decides once again that she does not want to be cruel, but then she achieves this by taking God’s place as the doctor-patriarch and ruling his household with a new pet goat. The entire film is also about Bella learning about feminism: the arbitrary oppression of women is not only nonsensical, it’s bad! But then the ending has her reproduce almost all those power structures and cruelty she claims to reject, and has the unfortunate consequence of positioning her as ultimately equally cruel/callous as God, the guy she meets on the boat who shows her all the starving people, and her former self-mother, etc. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on why this is or like, what the director’s message was beyond self-contradiction and taking cheap shots at starving people?

so i would quibble a bit with the idea that bella's experience in the maison-close is exclusively or even primarily portraying sex-for-pay as a site of cruelty. i think it's more depicting paid sex as work, and work as unpleasant and repressive, and that's why the maison is the site where bella gets involved in socialist politics—if moral philosophy is the arena by which she responds to the injustice of the poverty in alexandria, then labour politics plays the analogous role where the maison is concerned. her problems there aren't inherently with the idea of being paid for sex, but with specific elements of the work arrangement (eg, she suggests that the women should choose their clients, rather than vice versa). ofc she has some customers who are cruel or thoughtless or rude, but i didn't read the film as suggesting that was universal to sex work, and the effect of the position is more to demystify sex, for bella, than to convert it into being purely a site of trauma or misery. now i don't think this film offers a particularly blistering or deep analysis of sex work or socialism or wage labour, dgmw, but i do think the function of the maison is different narratively to that of the alexandria section.

anyway to answer your actual question: yeah so this is really my central gripe with the film. lanthimos (slash his screenwriter tony mcnamara) spends much of the film gesturing toward bella's growing awareness of several hierarchical structures that other characters take for granted: the uneven nature of the parent/child relationship (god took her body and created her without asking); class stratification (alexandria); the 'civilisation' of individuals and societies via education and bio-alteration (bella's talk about 'improving' herself; her 'progression' from essentially a pleasure-seeking child to an educated and 'articulate' adult). these three dimensions often overlap (eg, the conflation of 'childishness' with lack of education with inability to behave in 'high society'), though, most overtly, it's in that third one that we can see how these notions of improvement and biological melioration speak to discourses about the 'progress' and 'regress' of whole societies and peoples, and voluntarist ideas about how human alteration of biology (namely, our own) might produce people, and therefore societies, that are better or worse on some metric: beauty, fitness, intelligence, morality, longevity, &c. this is why i keep saying that like.... this film is about eugenics djkdjsk.

the issue with the alexandria section to me is, first, it's like 2 minutes (processed in the hollywood yellow filter) where the abject poverty of other people is a life lesson for bella. we're not asking any questions like, how is that poverty produced, and might it have anything to do with the ship bella is on or the fantastical lisbon she left or the comparative wealth of paris and london...? secondly, everything that the film thinks it's doing for the entire runtime by having bella grapple with learning about cruelty, and misery, and the kinds of received social truths that lanthimos is able to problematise through her eyes because she's literally tabula rasa—all of that is just so negated by having an ending in which she bio-engineers her shitty ex-husband, played as a triumphant moment. i don't even inherently have an issue with the actual plot point; certainly she has motive, and narratively it could have worked if it were framed as what it is: bella ascending to the powerful position in the oppressive system that created her, and using her status to enact cruelty against someone who 'deserves' it—ie, leveraging her class and race within the existing social forms rather than continuing to question or challenge them. if that ending were played as a tragedy, or a bleak satire, it would at least be making A Point. but it's not even, because it's just framed as deserved comeuppance for this guy we were introduced to in the 11th hour as a scumbag, so it's psychologically beneficial for bella actually to do the sci-fi surgery to him that literally reduces him to what's framed as a lower life form. unserious

[comradekatara]

How conscious do you think Katara of Sokka's pile of neurosis surrounding her safety, their father, or the tribe in general?

Basically, how well do you think Katara understands her brother?

[thinks about my own incredibly weird, callous, prodigious, neurotic brother] does anyone truly understand their brother?

just kidding. sort of. i mean, this is a really difficult question to answer, because as i've already stated, sokka doesn't actually understand himself. and katara doesn't really understand other people very well in general. she has a deep, presiding love for humanity that accords her warmth and nobility, but she also has a pretty rigid way of conceptualizing any sort of moral quandary (she is in the eighth grade) and often misinterprets people's motivations and subconscious desires. (very dorothea brooke core)

for example, in "the painted lady," when katara says, "oh, sokka, you really do have a heart!" she's only partially joking, right? like she genuinely doesn't understand how he can be so "cold" and callous." she doesn't understand his point of view at all, she thinks he just doesn't care. and sokka could probably do a better job of explaining his point of view, granted, but i also understand why he's given up trying to reason with her, because she does not listen to him unless they are in grave danger (at which point she forgets that he is her stupid annoying brother and places all her faith in him lol).

so we, as an attentive audience, know that sokka cares about the wellbeing of impoverished villages destroyed by the fire nation, because we remember the first couple episodes wherein he was prepared to die defending his impoverished village that was destroyed by the fire nation, and we also remember his promise to prioritize katara's safety over the war at large, so we are not surprised when he says, "you need me and i'll never turn my back on you" (the sokka thesis statement). but katara doesn't really understand how much she means to sokka, or how sokka thinks, or how sokka sees himself, or how sokka sees their father, or anything beyond what sokka is willing to show her regarding his psyche, which is ultimately very little.

and it's not katara's fault, to be clear. katara is not a bad sister for not attempting to plumb the depths of sokka's twisted mind. even if she wanted to (which, who would tbh. don't look at me) sokka does not let her. being vulnerable with her (truly vulnerable, not just "i can't make things fly around woe is me") would go against sokka's core programming. protecting katara doesn't just mean protecting her physically (dying for her, attacking anyone who hurts her even if it's aang and he really didn't mean to, etc.) but also emotionally – protecting her innocence, her naïveté, her idealism.

like he'll say shit like "optimism and wonder are cringe and you're a loser for having love in your heart," but it's still so flippant, it's clear that he doesn't consider "provoking/annoying her" and "protecting her" to be mutually exclusive (frankly, anyone who doesn't succumb to the urge to provoke their siblings is simply not human and cannot be trusted) and has no problem criticizing her when he thinks that she's wrong for whatever reason, but he also avoids being vulnerable with her and uses flippancy and deflection to mask his more honest feelings most of the time.

notice how he basically completely shuts down in "the southern raiders," how even though he is standing there the entire time katara and aang are arguing, he says exactly one sentence and lets aang say literally everything else. notice how in the pilot he calls her a freak for waterbending instead of communicating either jealousy that she can do something he can't or fear that her ability will get her killed (again, it's probably a combination of both, but does he even understand that? probably not. because he refuses to introspect). which is why "you need me and i'll never turn my back on you" or even his admission in "sokka's master" that he feels insecure about being a nonbender shocks her so much.

katara and sokka's codependency is mutual, and they love each other a lot. while sokka isn't katara's first priority and entire identity the way katara is for sokka, when sokka is spirited away in "the winter solstice," katara basically shuts down, clings to his boomerang with a blanket around her shoulders and refuses to move from the spot he was taken until he gets back, and when sokka is gone for the day in "sokka's master," she spends the whole day waiting for him to return. and like, both of these take place in the span of no longer than a single day. but as much as they love and need each other, they also do not really understand each other, or themselves.

i would say that sokka understands katara better than katara understands sokka, but sokka also just understands people better than katara does, so that's not really surprising. for example, he knows that she would not benefit from killing yon rha before katara realizes it (and unlike aang, he is not a pacifist). but he does have some blindspots, like how he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to see hakoda in ba sing se (he interprets it as a purely selfless act, which it just isn't), but again, that's more of a daddy issues blindspot than a sister issues blindspot. they also just have very different worldviews. katara primarily cares about individuals whereas sokka primarily sees systems (with the necessary caveat that he still prioritizes his family), katara sees the best in people whereas sokka sees the worst in people, katara misses the forest for the trees whereas sokka misses the trees for the forest yada yada.

but what's important to understand fundamentally is that katara and sokka have both been dehumanized by the fn imperialist project (true of every atla character, btw) and so their lack of self-knowledge stems from the formative trauma of cultural genocide. those gaps in understanding originate from the roles they have been forced to inhabit, and since sokka's entire identity revolves around what he can and must sacrifice for katara, it's understandable that katara would be unable to acknowledge or even recognize that.

and then again, even beyond the inherent tragedy of their situation, no fourteen year old little sister really understands the neuroses and contradictions and lamentations of her older brother. even if he wore his heart on his sleeve she wouldn't understand him, because katara does encounter plenty of people who are far more obvious about their intentions and she doesn't really understand them either. but she means well. and that's what matters <3

[kedreeva]

So I live somewhere where certain foods aren't readily available. I'm looking to buy a house - smallish house, biggish land is an option(cheaper). I've never kept anything more ~interesting~ than snakes. I went to a restaurant in a city a few years back where I tried duck for the first time and it instantly became my favorite food. Would it be weird to uh, keep ducks for eating? I've no problem with butchering but I'm worried I'd get attached to MY ducks.

I can't really answer if you'll get attached, because I don't know you or your penchant for getting attached. I can answer that it's not weird at all to raise ducks for meat. There are entire breeds of ducks that are great to raise for meat (like muscovies or pekins). Personally, I prefer the muscovy breed because I find them to be adorable (lots of cool color morphs! they do a little butt waggling dance in a circle!), GREAT moms who take on HUGE clutches no problem, they don't require or play in large amounts of water the way pekins do, and they're not as noisy (they hiss, they don't quack). The boys also get quite large, without getting super fat the way proper meat pekins do.

Like that's just. Terrible. I assume they get belly rub sores. The meat is probably good, the fat is probably good cooking. But at what cost?

I can also say that most people do get somewhat attached to animals they raise for food, but I think that's an important part of it. Part of raising animals for food is understanding that you're giving them the best life you can up to the point of butcher, which is often better than whatever life they would have in a factory farm. Part of raising food animals is caring enough about them to do well by them, as the only gratitude you can show to them in exchange for their life. Part of raising animals for food is understanding that you are going to take the life of another creature, and I think that attachment is how we understand the weight of that decision.

Personally, I think that it's right and good for people to get attached to their livestock. I think it helps them remember that they're caring for a living creature that has needs and feels pain. A creature that is deserving of excellent care while alive. I see a LOT of people allowing animal suffering in the fowl world because "it's just a chicken" and the babies "only cost a couple bucks," and "they can be replaced." IMO, it's a particularly callous attitude to have, toward an animal whose life will be taken to provide for you. Even one whose life is dedicated to providing for you while living (eggs, milk, wool, honey, etc) deserves better than to be considered a Thing that can be allowed to suffer merely because it is replaceable.

Lastly, I can say that (for me at least) there's often a major difference between the attachment you feel toward a pet and a livestock animal. Part of it is expectations going in, part of it is time. For pets, the expectation is that you will have that animal for the duration of that animal's average life expectancy, and you can plan accordingly for allowing yourself emotional investment. For livestock, the expectation is that you will only have the animal until its butcher date, which is often quite early in their life. A healthy, well-kept dog you can probably expect a good 10 years from, a cat nearly twice that. The average butcher age for a pekin duck is 3 months old (for comparison, they have an average lifespan of 5 years before their bodies give out from growth and weight issues), for muscovies 3-6 months (with an average lifespan of 20 years). There's just not as much time to get attached in the first place, unless you're getting attached to your breeders.

So, is it weird to raise ducks for food? Absolutely not. Are you going to get attached? I hope so, at least a little bit. And I hope that you feeling that connection to your food source helps you to take excellent care of them until their time comes, and that it compels you to make their end as quick and painless as possible.

[princess-of-the-corner]

So I just got done Zuko alone for the first time and maybe I'm imagining things but I'm 85% sure Ozai tricked Azula into dragging Zuko behind the curtains to watch while he requested to be made heir instead of iroh since the entire throw room scene felt weird

Okay honestly though there's just so much fucking weird with that scene that I would totally believe that like.

So I think the one thing here is that I am a firm believer that Ozai and Azula lied about what Azulon decided as punishment.

Like like like. Azulon is quite understanding of Iroh's devastation to the loss of his son, and while he's of course upset that it caused a loss at Ba Sing Sae, isn't exactly mad at Iroh for what happened. He's furious at Ozai's callous audacity to suggest that this makes Iroh 'weak' and that he should be replaced as heir to the throne.

Given that, it doesn't make sense for him to be down for killing Zuko. It seems off to me.

And even if Azulon was the type to feel sympathy for Iroh's situation while being morally bankrupt enough to kill Zuko just to 'teach Ozai a lesson', there's two problems with that.

Firstly, the fact that he picked Zuko. Azulon would know that while Zuko is the first born, it's /Azula/ who is Ozai's favorite, the golden child, and would probably be named his heir regardless of birth order. If he wants to make it be 'an eye for an eye', then he should've suggested killing Azula.

Secondly, the larger political situation outside of the family drama.

Lu Ten was second in line for the throne. And he's now dead. Iroh was so broken by this that they experienced a devastating loss in the war and he's low-key quit the military as a whole.

This is an event that is a devestating blow to the Fire Nation as a whole. It's people would lose morale, while the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes are emboldened and pushing back harder than ever in the war.

To have another member of the Royal Family die, even if it's not in any way directly related to the war effort as this is a child who would likely just 'have a fatal accident', would worsen this situation. Given that what little we know about Azulon involves him being a good strategist, I can't see him ordering Zuko's death knowing this would be the outcome, even if he were a ruthless person wanting to teach Ozai a lesson.

Another thing to note that goes in this favor:

/we never actually hear Azulon order Zuko's death/

We don't see it in the show, we don't see it in the comics. We see him say that Ozai will be punished, but we don't hear Azulon say what the punishment will be. The scene always cuts to Ozai and Azula saying that Azulon ordered Zuko's death.

But Ozai and Azula are unreliable narrators. We can't trust them to be telling the truth.

So yeah I /genuinely/ believe that Azulon didn't actually say that. Some people have speculated, but in general I believe that Azulon was just going to cut Ozai out of the line of succession as a whole.

[nomoreusername]

New Girl (Part 1)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:When you don't show up for yours and Aris's escape he ends up learning that WCKD truly does have all the power.

Tonight was supposed to be it. It was supposed to be the night Y/N and I left this place for good. At exactly midnight we were supposed to be outside those doors ready to see whatever we had been warned about.

She was late though. She's never late to anything, but I had been sure that she'd be here. So even though it was almost freezing I waited for her to follow through with the plan. She would come.

And as the time went from five minutes, to thirty, to an hour, to two I didn't move. Not until it started raining. 

Except, that's a lie. That's only what I should have done. Instead, I sat there completely soaked under a tree with water going through my clothes and down my face. By now I looked pathetic as I waited for someone that wouldn't come, in weather so cold that I could feel it in my bones. 

It was only when I heard thunder that I accepted that she had just stood me up on what was supposed to be the most important and best night of our lives. She made me look like such an idiot. 

Then again I did that myself. I tricked myself into thinking she was just running a few hours late. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with her? 

This is so messed up. We were going to get out of WCKD. We wouldn't have to be subjects anymore. We would just live.

Clearly, it was a mistake to believe her when she actually agreed. I should have never told her anything. In fact, I wish that I never even met her. 

Hate is a strong word so I don't like using it. There are so many bad people it should be reserved for. If you overuse a word it loses its meaning so I avoid words like that, or even good ones like love.

This time the impossible seemed to happen. I’ve never meant a word like more before, but tonight changed that. I hate Y/N. I hate Y/N for being like everyone else and lying to me. I hate Y/N for always being there for me only to leave me alone. I hate Y/N for forgetting about me like I’m nothing. 

I hate her. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

Most of all, I hate that I still love her, and I hate that I can't stop.

Is there an actual word for this? For despising someone who has your entire heart? 

Probably, but I’m too drained to come up with an answer. I just want to sleep and forget about this night. I just want to forget all about her forever. 

I know that won't happen though, but I can pretend I have a chance. Maybe if I lie to myself the way she lied to me I would believe my words.

♡ - - - ♡

Waking up the next day hurt and not just because of the way it seemed like she had shoved a knife through my heart (that obviously didn’t help the situation though).

I was still shivering, and my hair, body, and clothes were damp. It's not like I could say anything though. That would end great. 

’Hey WCKD worker. I’m just sick, because I snuck out to run away with the girl who I thought loved me.’

‘That’s a really depressing story. By the way, you're on lockdown.’

Yeah. What a wonderful conversation.

That meant just sitting at breakfast like nothing had happened. Resisting the urge to slam my tray on the ground and just walk out without a word. Resisting the urge to finally say everything about this place that I wanted to from day one. Resisting the urge to say screw it and run from them until I was free. 

The worst one though, was pushing down the way seeing Y/N sit alone made me want to just ask what her problem was. Ask what I did for her to leave me out there. Even if I wouldn't like the answer I deserve an explanation for why she abandoned me when I had just gotten a little bit of hope in my life. 

Seeing her wear a blank expression though, killed me. She was so apathetic about this, and it shattered my soul. Even if I did something without realizing what she did was beyond callous. 

“Aris?”Sonya asked. I glanced over to see her looking like she was debating herself about something. 

“Are you okay?”She whispered after a minute of silence. I went to lie to her when my throat closed up. She was still expecting an answer, but I couldn't even say a word. Not while she was there, and I couldn't ask why she did that.

“I’ve gotta go really quick,”I managed to say. Standing up, I ignored the shakiness in my legs as I quickly walked towards her. Feeling my heart thump faster with every step and my palms sweat, I dreaded what she would tell me. At the same time never knowing would only keep me up at night, thinking about all the possible answers. Even if I felt like I was going to throw up, I had to do this. I had to discover the truth. 

Approaching her table, I stood before her. She didn't even look up as she ate her breakfast. Had I actually done something so bad that she didn't want to look at me? What is it? Can I fix it? Do I want to fix it?

“Y/N?”I finally asked. She looked up at me and smiled as she met my eyes. By now the pain was confusion as she looked at me with such gentle eyes.

“Hello. Did you overhear what the guards called me?”She asked, holding out her hand for me to shake. What the hell? 

“No? That's okay. Not everyone likes handshakes from strangers,”She stated.

“Strangers?”

“Of course. I'm new here so I haven't gotten acquainted with anyone yet. Thanks for being the first person to talk to me,”She grinned.

“Y/N, are you kidding? It's me. Aris,”I apparently reintroduced.

“Hi Aris. As you know I'm Y/N, and I'm new to this place.”

“No you're not. You’ve been here for years,”I reasoned. She gave me a funny look while shifting in her seat. 

“I don't know what you're talking about. I just got her last night,”She shrugged.

“You aren't funny, okay? Whatever joke this is, it isn't cool,”I said firmly.

“I don't know you or anyone. I just got here,”She repeated.

“Y/N-”

“Hey, Aris. You talking to the new girl?”Harriet asked from next to me. 

“New girl?”I whispered, turning to face her.

“Yeah. The new girl,”She repeated.

Swearing that I would throw up, I frantically ran back to Sonya. Trying to control my breathing, I asked if she knew who Y/N was. When all I got was her asking if that was the new girl I tried the girl next to her, and the girl next to her, and the boy beside her, and the boy in front of him, and the girl in behind him, and every single person in this cafeteria. It was the same answer. 

New girl.

Nobody remembered her, not even her. 

Glancing back over at her, I saw Janson talking to her before facing me. With a small smirk on his face, when Y/N wasn't looking he put his finger to his lips. 

He knew. He knew about last night, and he did this. He erased everything from her. She never stood me up. They had her. 

Why couldn't I think of that? How could I doubt her? How could they take her from me? How could they do this? 

Taking my seat beside Sonya, I kept thinking about what I would do next. Obviously, I was going to restore her memories, but the real question is how?

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

I just I’m raging at this weeks episode and I know I should be happy but I’m not I’m so pissed off.

So the girls knows what happened in Atlas but they’re bickering about if it's really as bad as it seems and if they completely failed or not which leads to this:

“What good is saving anybody if Salem just destroys the world anyway.”

“That’s how Ironwood thought, you don’t mean that.”

NO RUBY IS RIGHT YANG SHE IS RIGHT IF THE PLANET IS DESTROYED EVERYONE ON THE PLANET IS ALSO DEAD GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY UNDERSTOOD THIS WHY CAN'T YOU.

Also are we now really trying to "but the economy" the entire fucking planet? How are they deluding themselves into thinking protecting the relics shouldn't be a top priority? Why are we trying to act like Ruby is wrong for recognizing Ironwood was right when he was very concerned about Salem getting the world ending relics? It's absolutely disgusting how the show in continuing to drag James's name through the mud like I knew it would happen but fuck it's got me so annoyed.

Salem ending the world is a real problem to be worried about, handwaving it away as "something only a bad person like Ironwood" would think is just insane to me. She wants everyone and everything dead, Salem getting half the items she needs to do that should scare the shit out of everyone but as we find out later in the episode this is not the case and it is the last thing on their minds.

Yes, saving people is important, but the mains are ignoring the very real problem of no amount of people saving from disasters like Atlas will matter in a world ending scenario. Everyone will die if Salem gets the relics. And even if the gods lied about ending the planet if humanity isn't united that won't fix the fact that as of right now they have every reason to believe they will and need to be acting as if that will happen. And saying Ironwood was totally wrong and we did everything right, shows a callous disregard for the consequences if Salem unites the relics. Why is the show trying to make us root for these girls again?

Now you remember the damn cat???? The one who literally was sacrificing themselves for you? It took you this long to wonder if they're okay? Once again we find out the cat might not be so good a person this episode, but at this point the mains have been thinking they are a friend and can be trusted so once again them forgetting about the cat and the civilian is just a gross disregard for peoples lives that feels so weird right after the girls try and boost themselves up as better then James for trying to save the people.

Also Jaunes explanation on the story is so confusing because we don’t fucking know the story so we don’t know what went wrong or why. Or why their storm isn't as bad or violent and Blake and Yangs given they should be in a really bad emotional position right now with everything they have found out.

Let's also finally talk about the elephant in the room. Yes the bee's being canon is a very good thing. They said I love you and kissed so we cannot deny they are canon. This is very good and needed to happen but it happened five episodes late if I'm being generous and 3 seasons too late worst case. But even how they got together wasn't....great. A storm that forces them to tell the truth? They aren't saying it because they're ready to? They're being forced to? Okay. This is so weird and awkward.

I also have to wonder how they started mentally talking to each other and why neither thought it was weird. This whole scene feels so awkward and forced and even if it leads to a good thing we've been demanding that doesn't make the writing work. I also have to wonder, why is the bee's relationship "more important" then finding out about Salem getting the relics? Why isn't that a bigger concern for literally all of the girls? It should be that's for sure. And just do not even get me started on the damn comedy surrounding them all getting out of the damn storm just. Don't. This post is way to long as it is.

Aaaannnndddddd Jaune has Crescent Rose how boring. This is the dumbest way to get Ruby her weapon back. All of the theorizing about how her losing her weapon was a sign of her losing herself and finding it again would be tied to her finding herself again just got tossed out the window. The interesting and complex storytelling tied to that arc are just gone and I am so damn annoyed. It's been established for a long time a persons weapon is apart of themselves and we could have had a great arc about Ruby's search for Crescent Rose mirroring her search to find herself again. It could have actually been a good use of wonderlands weirdness that is once again not utilized in a meaningful way.

[streaminn]

Heyoo in the bodyguard au I like to imagine them to be both touch starved but they're two entirely different people and while Wednesday tries to initiate skinship respectfully (cause why not the girl you have wish you met in a better circumstances finally showed up in front of you) Enid is a coward has always been and she fears that maybe the years of pinning and social isolation finally caught up on her and this is but a dream and when she finally finally let herself take what she yearns she would wake up and Wednesday is nothing but a dream.

Plus obviously they grow up, change and become different versions of themselves Wednesday clearly sees that but Enid. Enid in that decade where she tries so hard to see Wednesday in every corner, she made a completely different Wednesday in her mind. The Wednesday in her mind would have never left for a selfish reason something must happen. The Wednesday in her mind would gladly see her bleed for her no she would not be taking care of her just like the Wednesday today.

I also imagine Enid vibing over please don't go by Joel Adams.

Now please don't go

Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone

Now please don't go, oh no

I think of you whenever I'm alone

So please don't go

Funnily enough the singer's name would now make her grit her teeth fcking Joel who is also madly in love with Wednesday. Joel who is seemingly more perfect for the goth girl and doesn't look like a monster. Plus his last name what do you mean Joel Adams?!!! Oh it's missing a d.

- entirely feeling lost anon

here's the thing you got wrong

enid doesn't try to see wednesday, she just gets reminded of her no matter where she is as a side effect of being mated. During her service she relished in it because she really does miss the girl for some unnamed unknown reason but now that she's older, its just really painful to think and wish for something she can't let go for some way or another

its been a decade, she isn't that delusional to think that wednesday left for some greater reason. She's aware that wednesday wanted to leave originally anyways and simply stayed for the mystery. Now that's over, it makes sense for her not to come back

Enid cried about why didnt wednesday say a thing to yoko when they were still students yoko isn't wrong when she says that its been a hell of semester and that wednesday isn't exactly the best in communication

its no wonder Wednesday didnt reach out and enid has to simply accept that some people just aren't mean to keep contact even when Enid figures out the contact information of the addams family.

At first she was estatic, she could finally reconnect but its been a few months since wednesday left and now she's worrying. Wednesday respects her privacy and for enid to go digging... it sounds wrong, it sounds like enid's obssessed and she didn't want to make wednesday uncomfortable because what if she didnt reach out for a reason? what if she wanted the space away from nevermore?

by the time enid gets the courage to do dail that number, its been so long that she's sure wednesday must've forgotten about her

anyways, i think instead of romanticizing and being delusional asf, enid would simply be so realistic that it borderlines pessimism. A side effect from her experience in the military and a fuckton of copium for her separation problem that comes with being mated and separated for so long.

Like Ofcourse wednesday wouldn't reach out, she went through some rather concerning things in nevermore so its understandable she cut contact

with this same mindset, Enid usually remembers how callous and cold wednesday is so its always a tiny shock whenever wednesday so easily cares for her because enid doesn't remember her being this open in nevermore

its a pleasant surprise, one enid doesn't know how to feel about

[navree]

I think it is very funny (and by funny I mean infuriating and appalling) that people's reactions to a mother being terrified to death for her children's lives is "boohoo Alicent is stupid!" and not "poor thing, that's not how a mother should be made to feel by HER OWN FAMILY"

This is such a problem with literally any TV show or movie, which is that people forget that we are an omnipotent audience. We see everything, we know everything, we are the only people involved in the story that have complete and utter control over all of the information of the story. None of the other characters do, and that's why they make the decisions they do, and if they seem somewhat nonsensical to us that's because we know everything and they don't.

(seriously, as someone who was in The Originals fandom for a time, season 2 was the hardest time to be Hayley fan when half the audience forgot that her decisions made total sense if you just looked at the information she had access to, not all the information of the entire story.)

Alicent's information is this: 1) Rhaenyra lied to her (lies by omission count as lies), and then 2) appears to have leveraged those lies to strip away the last of Alicent's support as well as anyone partial to her children's place in the line of succession. 3) Rhaenyra is then callous enough to drive a man to suicide and, in the process, get another man killed, with no outward remorse. 4) Over the next ten years Rhaenyra commits at best a huge social faux-pas and at worse an outright treason and 5) the products of that treason are cruel to her own sons which Rhaenyra has done nothing to stop (or really do anything to bridge any gap in their relationship) until 6) she proposes the Jace/Helaena marriage, which just looks like an attempt to take Alicent's only daughter hostage when you have an uncharitable view of her. 7) Rhaenyra then does nothing about her son maiming Alicent's and in fact 8) demands that Aemond be tortured for having eyes that can see and 9) vocally approves the plan to maim Alicent's son and Alicent herself for also having eyes that can see, because it helps her succession and that of her sons. And the coup de grace is in 10) Alicent seeing Rhaenyra murder her husband so she can marry who she wants and gather more strength to her side.

That is all the information Alicent has on Rhaenyra as heir to the throne. That she is callous, thoughtless, bloodthirsty in the pursuit of getting what she wants, uncaring towards others, with the capacity towards coldblooded murder to anyone who gets in her way (and who are in her way? Alicent's Targaryen children, especially Alicent's firstborn Targaryen son), and no remorse or thought to consequence for anything she does. Of course, we, the audience, see things from more than just Rhaenyra's point of view, we know that her thoughtlessness is borne out of being sheltered, that she's lighthearted and playful, that she is genuinely just trying to find love within the confines of an incompatible marriage, that the faults in her relationship with Daemon lie with Daemon as the adult and senior figure, that her attempts to reach out are genuine, that she's held the best belief in Alicent for a long time ("I do not believe Alicent is capable of cold blooded murder") that she did not murder Laenor, and that she has no intention of hurting Alicent or her kids and genuinely wants to be a good ruler and pass down the Targaryen legacy/Song of Ice and Fire (whether she can be a good ruler is debatable at best, and also God I hate the stupid prophecy fuck it so hard).

So to the audience, yeah Alicent's reactions can seem irrational, but most people with basic competence and understanding of storytelling can also understand that the impression we have of the story is something no one else in universe does, it's why I'm also willing to give grace to Rhaenyra for sometimes thinking the worst of Alicent because she doesn't have access to the information that we do.

But let's be real, ASOIAF/GOT/F&B/HOTD and all adjacent fandoms have been horrifically toxic and misogynistic, a mindset that extends far beyond characters and even to the actors, no matter which side of certain debates you fall under (yes this is a fandom wide callout I've seen all teams be gross as Hell), as I'm of the belief that insulting Matt Smith's looks and harassing his mother is in fact just as bad as bullying Emily Carey off Twitter, and relentlessly castigating Sophie Turner for no reason including when she was a child is in fact just as bad as mocking Emilia Clarke's brain injuries, this shouldn't be controversial. So I'm not surprised that this toxicity exists towards the character, and there's a lack of understanding in how yeah, Alicent should not be made to feel that her children are in active danger due to the actions of not just their sister but also their literal father, her husband (and that the worsening of the relationship post-Driftmark is entirely on Team Black for not doing anything to make amends for what happened to Aemond whatsoever and refusing to even be contrite years after the fact, Vhagar eating Luke was too merciful for him I said what I said).

A lot of the people who think this way are mostly casual watchers, or just really die-hard Team Black Twitter stans, so we can at least take comfort in the fact that most people with media literacy, whether they be regular fans or even critics, are more willing to extend Alicent the grace she deserves, and us Greenies can stan her hard enough to power a major metropolis in the meantime.

[limetameta]

Writing a Dr Leeland & Joker fic rn and having a lot of fun honestly

I don't know if it's canon or not but it is in my batjokes established au but Dr Leeland never had Joker as her patient and he's like: I need to collect all of the Arkham doctors or I haven't won at Arkham. So I'll just make every other doctor leave until she Has To take me on as a patient.

But Dr Leeland never does. They just hire new folks for the Joker. This irks the guy, but not really by much because there's a certain lvl of pride to be had in being untamable, unfixable.

Though! Dr Leeland has the best rehabilitation record for her patients. Most of them make it to the Wayne Gardens Halfway House and half of them actually integrate back into society.

So it's like a challenge.

Besides, Dr Leeland is one of the good ones. She's a pro! Her patients genuinely like her. And the Joker is a little miffed that she never tried to take him on. That she didn't go for the stardom being his doctor - and being the one to rehabilitate him - would bring her.

One day he just corners her and asks.

And she just sighs, exhausted. There's a break out happening in Arkham and she's holed up in her office, barricaded, thinking she'll be safe - but now the Joker is here and he's asking her why she never tried to rummage in his brain etc etc and if she thinks that he's too much or that he's beyond help! Gasp, doc! How could you be so callous??

Leeland just waits until he finishes with his monologue and she just sighs, again: "I never took you up as my patient because it's obvious you don't want to reintegrate into society. You're perfectly content to exist as you are right now and unless that changes, I can't help you."

The Joker is just so floored for a minute there because nobody actually spelled it out to him like this before, you know. Everyone was always like ah! You just need more meds. Ah you just need to change this etc etc. But nobody actually looked at him and said hey, this change is supposed to come from you, not be inflicted on you. Bye now. I am going to hide under this desk until the police arrive.

Anyway. This spurs the Joker on harder. Because oh- oh- you think he CAN'T be out of Arkham? You think he doesn't have it in him to win at mental health? Shows what you know, doc, he's gonna be in that Halfway house in less than a year and you're gonna see it.

But now it's just the problem of convincing Dr Leeland to take him on as a patient. And he can't hurt her or threaten her because, though this dismays him, she Is one of the good ones and the entire rogue's gallery would probably gang up on him and jump him if he touched her.

Doesn't mean he won't be a nuisance. Harley says he has a quality known to very needy and persistent men: he'll wear her down eventually!

Anyway, Leeland is just tired. And the Joker sometimes breaking into her apartment for impromptu therapy sessions (mostly to complain about what a sexually repressed bat he's finally fucking, dating, courting?) Is not helping her not be tired.

[tallbluelady]

"Do you ever think about the future?" - from the question prompts :D

Featuring @yloiseconeillantse's Azem, Ariadne, and mentions @ishgardianskypirate's Kytheon!

"Hey, thanks again for coming in for the lecture," Ariadne said.

"Mm? Oh, sure. Anything for you, darling." Minthe planted a kiss on the other woman's bare shoulder. "Well, other than grading their concepts."

Ariadne groaned. "Shit. I still have to get around to that, don't I?"

"Haha, that you do. As fun as it is to watch your little chorus, I don't want the burden of their future in my hands."

"It's really not that bad, honestly. They're smart enough that I haven't had to flunk any of them. And I have Halmarut to pass the buck to if shit goes sideways." Ariadne started to trace patterns on Minthe's arm. They lay comfortably for a few minutes before she spoke again. "Do you ever think of the future?"

"Like, tomorrow, or the future future?"

"The fuuuuutuuuure, oooooh!" she moaned, mimicking a monster from a campfire story.

Minthe laughed. "I dunno. Not too much. A lot less since Hades and me officially broke up. Is he talking to you about that kind of stuff?"

"Well..." she squeaked.

"Not you too, Ari!" Minthe shook her head and buried her face into Ariadne's hair. "You're supposed to be a safe harbor."

"I won't pull you in, I promise. It's just... it feels good to be trusted with it. Like I've proved myself and it's showing fruit. That all of these spores I've thrown out have mated and the mycelium has spread out through the soil and... oh, that's kinda gross sounding, isn't it?"

"Nah. I wouldn't be here with you if I couldn't handle a shroom or two. It's part of your charm, honestly." She absently started to twist one of Ariadne's curls in her fingers.

"Right, right. So all this work is showing fruit now. And the whole point of a mushroom popping out of the ground is to make more mushrooms by spreading spores and... it keeps going! Eventually your mycelium is going to integrate itself throughout the entire forest, making it healthier, making it greener."

"Or you breed something so spicy that nothing can eat it and it takes over..." Minthe muttered darkly.

"Kyth says birds eat your peppers all the time in nature." Ariadne turned to face her. "You okay?"

Minthe sighed. "I talked to Hades one on one recently and it reminded me why we can't be with each other. He's a good lover, but, ugh. He just... sure I'm good at what I do, but I don't want to fuck up the future. I can fuck up tomorrow just fine, but I don't want to be responsible for... all of that."

"You know, leaving tasks that you're afraid of fucking up to someone else is actually pretty responsible. You can't do everything after all."

Minthe just looked into Ariadne's large pale eyes. She couldn't find anything to say to that, especially when she didn't mean it in a callous way. The problem was that Minthe could be that responsible. It would just take all of her time, make her doubt her own ideas... just tear her into shreds, really. And then she would go and die at the end of all her hard work. What kind of life was that?

"Hm. When are these shrooms supposed to kick in?" she asked instead. Then Ariadne's shoulder started to crack into triangles. "Oh, never mind, there we go."

Thanks for the prompt!

[ineffectualdemon]

About your Jiang Cheng post:

As a J.C. lover, having watched the series and read the book and agreeing that novel J.C. is totally aro

the show really doesn't do Jiang Cheng justice (the actor is fantastic though) but it doesn't do anything reprehensible with his character if that is any consolation.

the JC and WQ story felt out of place even before I read the novel but I think we have China's censorship to thank for it? like I think they had to give some type of forbidden love romance because while in the book its WWX and LWJ they couldn't really show it blatantly on the show. Also because of the whole story arc changing to include WQ and WN in the cloud recessess high school maybe the rewriters thought it would help us feel something idk.

Also it gave a chance for more female presence in the story itself so go women.

I'd say my bigger problem with the show is the entire yin iron gag. Instead of making Wen Ruhan just an evil man with power, they tried to turn it into greatest supervillian with demonic cultivation

That's good to know that they don't totally ruin my boy but making him like know Wen Qing does make his refusal to help them later much more callous and cruel which I just hate

But yeah making Wen Ruhan a supervillain with demonic cultivation is really bad because it really undercuts Wei Wuxian's character arc

I get they changed the name but the source material is titled "The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" I suppose the live action was like "we can't have the main character be morally grey or have done really fucked up things in his own!"

But that's one of the things I like about Wei Wuxian's character!

During the war he is driven by revenge and does things that are disturbing

He really freaks LWJ out! And yeah the people he's using this against are "bad" but does that justify what he does? Like that's a legitimate question the text poses

He's basically a weapon of mass destruction and by creating demonic cultivation he inadvertently leads to others doing horrific things too using his knowledge and tools that he left behind

And he has to deal with that guilt!

Why do all the adaptions make his worse actions not really his fault? Yes it's his fault let him be fucked up!

Also let Wen Ruhan be awful but normal human awful. You don't have add more. He sucks enough as is

[bsaka7]

For directors commentary: the first part of keep me hanging on (as much or as little as you like). You really broke my whole entire heart and then taped it back up with that fic (in a good way!!)

omg thank u!!! Revisiting older writing is always so funky but not necessarily in a bad way. I'm like right I wrote this and this is how it reads and this is how it is... Its so interesting... Remembering what I was thinking...

first things first... i thought of the line "i better be a groomsman at your wedding" in the shower and i knew i had to write a fic around it. like just - everything that is held in those words. max is confident daniel will continue to be a big part of his life outside racing in the future. max does not think that the sex they are having is important to Daniel or really anything important at all. max thinks he's... one of the five most important men who are peers in Daniel's life, on some level. Etc. It had both a level of confidence and hopelessness. The whole fic revolves around that line because it has to...

same with the line "All Max wants to be looking in." thats another one I like and and I think sort of represents all that is to come. So. Much of the fic all he is doing IS looking in. At Daniel's wedding - he's at some random f1 table. When Daniel is in Australia, it's just what max hears over the phone. And so on. I think there is a level of idk naive curiosity going on. And max I think sometimes feels young and daniel feels old. You know. And max wants - he likes daniel, daniel is probably his first real friend in racing. He wants to keep That even though daniel is leaving. Even if he's just watching. Of course, he's not willing to give anything up to get that (and arguably he never does). But he wants all the same...

I don't super remember exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the beginning. Part of it was certainly - it shows a close relationship of some sort but also that inability to communicate. Daniel asking what max said, max being too - whatever - to respond. I don't know if this actually comes out in the fic but I really do think that daniel thought it was all just good fun at this point in the fic. He didn't think it was serious and I know daniel says later that he was in love with max, but in my view, he wasn't. Not a chance. Not a chance. He really was kind of callous and frustrated and uncaring and yes they are friends and yes they are fucking but they aren't lovers or whatever but they're comfortable in a way that is entirely haunted by racing. Another part of the opening is... I think writing sex scenes is a pretty easy way to show a whole lot of problems all at once. So that's what I tried to do. What does it mean to leave? To want to? To Not Want to? And so on...

[inflamearc]

i'd never rec anyone read the diary, for lots of reasons, BUT. talking to dana about how best to introduce laura as a character (media-wise, not rp-wise) has really kind of highlighted what the movie (which, make no mistake, i love) falls short of doing - which is to say, as i more or less have before, it's not a character overview. it's about the last week of laura's life, and only about that, and that's fine, BUT it leaves a person who might not be inclined to seek out Extra Material quite grievously lacking in context about laura's motivations, not just in dying but also in her general behavior.

most notably that she's often pretty cruel to the people close to her.

firstly, i'm not concerned with laura's 'likability' or lack thereof: there's a difference in a blatant lack of empathy/sympathy for what someone goes through and in, like, enjoying dealing with that person, and only one of those things is an actual problem. i don't think anyone should be held accountable for seeking out All The Canon Material before reacting to it (not least because a lot of it is frankly incredibly dull, not even mentioning the potential trigger-fest) but i do think a lot of people would feel a lot differently if they understood what's going on in her head.

“...and he swore his love to me again and again until he finally realized that I cannot love anything right now. Falling in love is like holding a white flag out to your enemies and saying, 'We give up, we're in love, love is surrender.' I can't do that until I know for certain that BOB is really dead. Until there is a corpse that I can kick as many times as I please. God, I hope that day comes soon." - April 7, 1987

mainly that her abuser is perceived as being actually omnipotent. he's not, of course, even if you're very into the Bob As Literal And Singular Entity of it all, but laura doesn't know that. why would she? she sees him all the time. she's seen him appear in places no regular person could just Show Up. she thinks on some level that she's crazy, yes, but it's the 1980s AND it's in the middle of nowhere. she has no support and she has no concept of what she's actually dealing with.

like many abuse victims, laura comes to realize that bob is threatened by other people's influence over her, and 'lack of impulse control' is pretty much his entire thing. unlike many abuse victims, laura isn't capable of being, like, "i care about x, so i simply will not talk about them in front of y, so we will all be safer": she thinks he is always able to see her (eventually, due to The Hallucinations, she suspects that he can even read her mind). this leads laura to take a kind of very "you always hurt the ones you love" approach to all of her relationships. she genuinely believes that the more callous she is, that the more cause she gives others to doubt her and even hate her, the safer they will be. she's entirely aware of this, too; like, it's a very conscious decision that she makes when she's fourteen, and that volatility increases in severity parallel to... well, everything else. she would rather die knowing that some of the people she cares about most in the world might never understand that than risk any of them --- or anyone at all, really --- being hurt due to her propensity for Caring A Lot. and it's something she has to train herself to do, very diligently, because it is laura's natural inclination to connect with people! take care of people!

(i fling these capped pages to you from the original entry About It --- august 3, 1985) and then i go take a nap, or have a cry, or both)

[anamericangirl]

Thanks for admitting you don't have a problem with killing babies because you apparently view violently murdering innocent babies as a right that must be protected. Fuck those babies, right? If their mom doesn't "consent" to their existence let's just violently murder them. If they're not wanted they have no right to live. That's a fucking evil position to defend.

You’re welcome? Sorry for stating facts. It doesn’t matter whether or not I personally view abortion as immoral. Whether I think a fetus is deserving of my moral consideration is irrelevant. We are talking about laws. Saying it’s “evil” is also irrelevant because a lot of our current laws can be deemed as immoral by many people. You’re basing it off your own personal feelings. The facts are a non-viable 8 week old fetus can’t have a right over your body and organs without your ongoing consents That is something that is given to nobody. Your rights trump over the rights of another person using your body to sustain their life. By giving anyone the right to live off the your body is an infringement on your rights because you are the one having to give up your body without consent.

Don't bring up using organs to sustain a life because it doesn't just apply to organs and using them to sustain a life. We're not using your made up definition anymore. We're using the real one. And the real one says bodily autonomy is the right to govern your own body. That's it. That's the right. It covers using organs to sustain a life but that is not the one and only thing it covers, which you are ignorantly claiming is the case.

It’s not a made up definition. It’s the medical definition of bodily autonomy. You are the person in charge of what happens inside your body and what medical procedures to take. You also have the right to medical privacy on matter involving your body. What you’re forgetting is that even if a non-viable fetus is a separate body, it is inside the mother’s body and can’t sustain life outside of her body. Nobody has the right to your body. You can’t give rights to someone inhabiting your body to sustain their life because that’s a direct infringement on your rights.

If bodily autonomy rights trumps over the right to life it has to be true in all instances.

Well, I don’t know where you got that from but if this is your logic then the right to life doesn’t trump bodily autonomy either ( which is your entire argument ) since the right to life hasn’t trumped bodily autonomy in all instances either with the very existence of abortion being legal.

Why can’t you kill a toddler?

Probably because that toddler isn’t inhabiting your body without your consent and there would be no reason to end their life.

"You’re welcome? Sorry for stating facts. It doesn’t matter whether or not I personally view abortion as immoral. Whether I think a fetus is deserving of my moral consideration is irrelevant. We are talking about laws."

Sorry but I can't take you seriously anymore after seeing you say something so callous and cruel. You just outright stated you have no qualms with a baby being violently ripped apart because it's supposedly a "right." You're just showing to support abortion you have to have absolutely no regard for human life whatsoever and you have to see babies as disposable and believe their value hinges only on whether or not they are wanted. You're not stating facts. You're stating your personal opinion on the matter. The reason abortion is controversial is because there is a big disagreement on what the facts are. We're not talking about laws. You're talking about laws. Your whole terrible argument is "the law said abortion is a right so it is." I'm trying to explain to you why the law was wrong and should be changed, which it is now. So I guess since your whole argument is what the law says determines truth that means I've been right all along and now you have to agree with me that abortion isn't a right because the law no longer says so.

It absolutely does matter whether you personally view abortion as immoral because the whole reason it's immoral is that it is the murder of an innocent person. And if you believed an innocent person was being murdered but that was ok because the law said so you would actually be a despicable person. But you already seem like a despicable person since you just stated so blatantly that murdering babies is totally cool with you because it's a right. Normally, when people see such horrible human rights abuses being performed and deemed a "right" that some people have over others, we take issue with that because it's a moral wrong that should not be permitted.

You would 1000% have supported slavery if you lived in America when slavery was practiced. It had been decided by law that people could rightfully own others and you are, unfortunately, the kind of person who supports severe human rights violations as long as the law says it's ok. Sure, maybe you would have seen slavery as immoral but it wouldn't have mattered because it would be irrelevant whether slaves deserved your moral consideration, right? The law determined it was right so it was. You can say you wouldn’t have but that’s only because you have the benefit of hindsight, which you wouldn’t have had at that time. And you’re not the kind of person who sees injustice as it’s happening. You’re the kind of person who supports harming and killing innocent people as long the law tells you it’s ok to do so. And you can pretend you wouldn't support something that disgusting in this day and age but you're literally doing it right now.

I'm not even going to really respond to the rest of your message because I've literally been over everything 1000 times in other messages and you just exposed yourself in the first paragraph. It doesn't matter what I say to you because the whole foundation of my argument is I think violently murdering innocent people is a despicable act that should not be tolerated and you don't. You support violent acts on innocent children if they aren't wanted. And that's an issue you need to look to God to fix for you.

"Probably because that toddler isn’t inhabiting your body without your consent and there would be no reason to end their life."

But if they were you would be cool with ripping them apart limb from limb and that is your problem.

I'm just going to say one more thing:

The baby does not need consent to grow inside the mother and thinking you can brutally murder a baby because their existence wasn't consented to is a morally abhorrent belief.

[aetherose]

I just binged all of the Wednesday show since I had been meaning to do so and man, I really enjoyed watching it. And of course as I've mentioned before I find quite a few similarities between Wednesday and Layla. They're both goth and very eccentric people, deeply protective even if stern with those they do actually care for, viewing the world through a lens of 'kill or be killed', brutally honest, an outcast of society harassed and bullied at several turns, generally very rough around the edges, and ultimately thinking they're better off alone even though they don't truly want to be. They think they're doomed to be alone. They also both have that big sister instinct haha.

I do have problems with how the show handled Wednesday I'll say; I would've liked much more consequences for Wednesday's actions as I LOVE when she gets called out, but then it feels like it just amounts to nothing because it just naturally resolves itself rather than making Wednesday resolve it as part of her character development. But I found the show still enjoyable.

Back to Layla and Wednesday though, I do think one big key difference that really makes them ultimately quite different is though they're stern and rather abrasive Layla feels much worse about it, since she has far more compassion than Wednesday. Which I really like to just...hammer that down so much as Layla's key trait because it sets her apart.

Most in her situation would perhaps become entirely cold and callous, and whilst Layla does become quite cold and she does what she must do, she does not enjoy it, she is acting out of a desire to survive, a fear of death. Human instinct. And she feels really bad about it most of the time because she never wanted to become this.

Where Wednesday is unashamedly herself, Layla is ashamed of what she has become in several regards. She is not proud of what she has done, at least not when she's done it to innocents. She only ever wanted to live a happy life, to have friends, to be loved. But she was punished for it. Punished for even existing. And she was forced to become what she is now to survive.

She knows what she is, and though she is angry at the world for making her this way, she also knows she isn't the only one who's suffered, far from the only one who never wanted to be what they are now. And hence her guilt.

She has no more right than others to survive, she was just better at surviving. But at the end of the day she's stooped to the level of several people she's hated for the sake of survival on top of her never wanting to become this sort of person, but she both feels like there's no way out alongside just drowning in guilt and self-hatred.

In a way, Layla isn't really truly being herself, because most things she does are for survival, not really because she wants to do it. Sometimes she does want to do it if it's in regards to someone she hates, but usually it's not, and it truly hurts her deeply. And it's a mess of feelings of hating the world for making her become this, and hating herself for letting the world make her be this, because she knows it's ultimately her own choices.

But did she really have a choice in the fight for survival? Can you really say she had options when more often than not it was 'do a morally questionable thing or die'? And at the end of the day, she fails to see that feeling remorse is what sets her apart from many truly horrific monsters in this world.

This was your 'comparing and contrasting Layla and Wednesday turns into Mun Rose just rambling on and on about Layla' post today.