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daydreamingleclerc · 3 years

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on the table - mason mount

not my gif, but look at me like that when you fuck me

this was a request from anon (i changed it slightly but i hope that’s okay!) hope you enjoy✨

p.s - i set this on the training session after the crystal palace win just for a bit of preface x

summary: you’re asked by your boss to take over mason’s sports massage appointment, unbeknownst to him that you have a completely unprofessional soft spot for the midfielder. you start out as professional as possible, but when your hands wander and mason encourages it, he offers you the exact same treatment - and nobody can say you’re in the wrong for what happens on the table.

warnings: smut, 18+. handjob, fingering, oral (m & f rec), unprotected sex (wrap before you tap please!!). i think that’s it :)

being a masseuse meant you really got to see some sights, but being a masseuse amongst footballers, meant you got the best of them all. chelsea football club was where you were, and had been, for a while now. ironically, you’d been subbed in while one of the other masseuses was on leave for eighteen months, and now nine months later you’d become such a big part of the family they didn’t want to let you go.

some days were busier than others, usually in the three day space of the day prior to a match, the day of the match, and the day after the match when all the boys would come to you with sore muscles that were needing attention. given that it was a sunday, and you’d all rather be in bed, today’s training session was light after saturday’s first win of the premiere league season against palace; with the boys focussing on small tactics that needed brushing up from yesterday’s game, but mainly it was spent in the gym or on the massage table.

you hadn’t planned to be in today, excited for your first day off in two weeks but when your phone rang at nine thirty you reluctantly left the comfort of your bed and drove down to cobham as quickly as you could, where you headed straight to your managers office and found your itinerary for the day.

sarah’s schedule

y/n’s schedule

10:30 - christian pulisic, shoulders and upper arm strain

11:15 - kai havertz, wrist and joints

12:30 - lunch

13:15 - ben chilwell, back and shoulders

14:25 - reece james, wrists and joints

14:25 - mason mount, calves and thighs

your eyes scanned the paper in front of you and you looked up at jonny. his head was buried in paperwork, but took a quick glance up at you when he realised you weren’t leaving. “uh, jonny? why do i have mason on my schedule instead of reece?”

“i swapped them out, reece’s massage was done this morning by me,” he half yawned, the nonchalance in his voice evident. he looked back down at his paperwork briefly and then back towards you after he spoke while you, frustrated, continued to examine the paper. “is that a problem?”

“no,” you shook your head, but he could see right through your lies. the boys could be heard throughout the complex, it mainly shouting and singing in the gym. you folded the paper up and slotted it into your leggings. “but calves and thighs aren’t my speciality, upper body is, you know that.”

“i know that,” jonny shrugged. the conversation was cut short when one of the training managers knocked on the door, expecting to have a quick chat to jonny, and you knew it was your time to leave. you grabbed your bag from your feet and slung it over your shoulder, but before you could leave jonny stood up and walked you to the door.

“i told mason that sarah wasn’t here and he specifically asked for you.”

•

your sessions with ben were always some of your favourite, and you were glad that he’d become one of your regular’s after one particularly good back massage that he’d never quite gotten over. he enjoyed your company because you weren’t the usual masseuse, you played music that the boys enjoyed and you spoke about things they could relate to, one of which seemed to be relationship trouble. your watch beeped, signalling that ben’s massage was finished, but there was ten minutes left on his slot so you could sanitise the table and all your equipment, which he always stayed and helped with.

“aren’t you not heading home?” he asked, watching as you stripped the paper from the massage table to sanitise the leather and relay a new sheet.

“annoyingly, no,” you grumbled as you wiped the blue leather, “i’ve got mason as my final slot, which would be fine if i knew him better, but he asked specifically for me so i couldn’t really say no.”

over the last nine months, ben had gotten to know you better than any of the other boys, and as he watched you clean the table meticulously — something which of course you had to do thanks to protocol, but never this much — he watched your body language change too. the playlist in the background had replayed back to the first song, and you could hear some of the boys still chanting and screaming like children in the gym. ben’s eyebrows raised and his lips curled into a smirk.

“do you have a thing for mason?”

“what?” you scoffed, standing back up straight and placing all the blue tissue in the bin underneath the desk. “how can i have a thing for him? i barely know him.”

“it happens,” ben replied, simply and nonchalantly. the irritating smirk he had on his face was enough to add more pressure to your next clientele, and so you ended up throwing the sanitiser at him which he caught in both hands just before it skimmed his face. the two of you chuckled and he shrugged his shoulders, glancing around at the door to make sure he couldn’t see mason’s figure stood outside the window. “he might’ve asked for you so he could get to know you better, i heard he’s quite fond of you.”

your scrunched your nose up and took the sanitiser bottle from ben’s hands when he held it out to you, unsure whether you should take his word for it or if he was playing you. ben watched as you danced around words to say, slung his training bag on his shoulder and fumbled for his car keys in his pocket. he went to open his mouth, but there was a knock on the door, and you realised you hadn’t left it open for mason to walk in once ben had gone and you cursed yourself for the ill hospitality. your watch buzzed against your wrist again, telling you it was ben’s time to leave.

you smiled at mason when you opened the door, a gesture which he reciprocated, sliding awkwardly to the side so he could enter before ben left. the two shared a moment, fist bumping one another and giving a fleeting ‘bye!’ as you moved round to shut the door. ben turned back and stuck out his tongue, and you flipped him off, locking the door and turning to face mason again.

“hi, sorry about the overlap,” you smiled, “it’s thighs and calves right?”

he nodded, and hopped delicately up onto the table. his hair had changed since you saw him last, going from a fluffy soft quiff to a choppy, short fringe. it made him look much more mature, the hairs framing his face and in turn making him look even more attractive. “yeah, i’ve had a tight inner left thigh since friday, it was fine during the game yesterday but i woke up this morning and it felt worse.” he gestured to the spot on his inner thigh where the tight muscle was, and much to your professional annoyance, it was extremely high up his leg.

you pulled the chair across to you with your foot, and moved your fingers around the firm flesh of his thighs while he lay there underneath you with his legs open slightly. you pressed down on a particularly tender section of his skin, and raised an eyebrow. “here?” mason shook his head, and leaned forward so he could guide your hand up higher, right to the very top of his thigh exceptionally close to his groin.

“try here,” he blushed. “i know it’s an awkward place but i’d much rather have a woman do it because i fee-”

“-is that why you specifically asked for me?” you asked, a schoolgirl grin toying on your face. the both of you blushed, and you squeezed at the flesh, which really was extremely tender. he hummed as you scouted out the exact spot in his muscle which was causing him the most discomfort, flinching slightly the harder you pushed and prodded. “so how did you hurt the area?”

“i was babysitting my niece, in one of the little games we played in order to run her out of energy, i stretched my leg out further than i thought i could, i felt like i was doing the splits,” he chuckled, giving you a hum of appreciation again when you pinched at the muscle. you smiled at the story, and he couldn’t help but pick up on it. “you’ve got a beautiful smile, y/n.”

“oh, uh, thank you,” you blushed, loosening your grip on his leg for a moment. you stood up so you could get a better grip on his leg and your fingers moved up a few centimetres, inching closer and closer to the spot that you figured was out of bounds. although when mason shifted and your elbow brushed it, you struggled to hold in a noise that formed at the back of your throat at the surprise of how he felt underneath his shorts. he groaned at the movement of your hands as they got closer and closer to where he clearly wanted them.

“god, you’re so good at that,” the sound of his voice left butterflies in your stomach, but with a surge of confidence you smirked, fingers continuing their nimble movements, and mason could feel himself growing harder with each placement of your fingers, even though he knew it was completely and utterly wrong. “can i give you a massage?”

“one day. absolutely,” you laughed. “as ironic as it is i always need one because of how i’m bent over sorting you guys out everyday.”

images rushed through mason’s head of you bent over in front of him and he squirmed, struggling to keep his cool. he listened to you ramble on about never being able to find a good masseuse because of your high expectations, but when his hands rested on top of your wrists you stopped talking. his fingers played around with yours as he looked over at you. “why don’t i give you one now?”

“n-now?” you choked out, intimidated by his smirking frame looming over you. he figured your answer was a yes when you pulled your hands away from his body, and he hopped off of the table far quicker than he got on it. you scrambled around the room to find a towel for your front so it didn’t stick to the now sweaty leather underneath you and mason watched as you scoured out some more oils. “it’s a back massage so it does mean i’m gonna have to take my shirt off,” you told him, avoiding eye contact until the very last minute. mason shrugged, and a schoolboy smirk crept up onto his face.

“i’ve got no issues with that, sweetheart.”

you wandered behind the changing screen and pulled off the clothes covering your upper half — jacket, t-shirt and sports bra — and mason was unsure where to look when he caught view of your silhouette behind it, his bulge growing evidently when he saw your boobs in the shadow and the perky nipples thanks to the chill. with the towel hung around your front, you walked back around to the table and lay down on it, breathing heavily.

mason’s fingertips touched your skin and you shivered at the feeling, his fingers running gently along your back before pressing down at the skin. the two of you continued making light, flirtatious conversation with each movement of his fingers. whether it ended up being a bad massage or not, this was probably one of the best days on the job. as the massage got more intense, his fingers started taking risks, going lower down your back until he hit the waistband of your leggings, tickling down the sides of your body so he could feel more of you. with every risk taken around the sides of your body his fingers got higher until they came around to your side boob, where he massaged the flesh and your nipples brushed against the fabric of the towel.

while his fingers kept massaging around closer to your boobs, you felt his lips kissing along the column of your spine, from the bottom of your back right up to the nape of your neck. your breath hitched when his lips ghosted your jaw, and kissed down your neck once more, planting the area with light, barely-there kisses. you showed your appreciation for the gesture by backing up into his crotch, which was looming above you as he bent around, and it was met with a groan from him.

“do you want me to turn around, mason?”

the question came out rhetorical, considering you were already half way around when you asked it, his grip loosening. his eyes couldn’t stop jolting around your body, unsure where to look first, but his lips made a beeline for yours in a desperate bid to kiss you, and fuck was he a good kisser. his hands ran along your sides and squeezed at the flesh of your boobs, thumbs running over the hardened nipples and you whimpered, desperate for him to touch you more. with grabby hand motions, you managed to catch a fistful of his shorts in your left hand, and tugged at them until he got the message to take them off.

your hand went straight to his dick before he’d barely got it out of his calvin’s, desperate to touch him and feel him react to it. he groaned in your mouth when you stroked it, unable to hold the noise in after imagining this for so long. one of his hands travelled down your body, inching closer to the band of your leggings, and as an invitation for him to get on with it you pushed your legs open wider so he had easier access to touch you. his hand dipped underneath them and his fingers pressed straight against your clit, which was already wet thanks to just being in his presence, and when his middle finger began circling it you whimpered into his mouth.

the pair of you continued to help the other out, your hand twisting around mason’s dick while his fingers swirled around your clit, and with each particularly good movement of his hand, you bucked up into it. “you look so fucking hot like that,” he groaned, voice scratchy as his lips found yours, the pair of you whimpering and swearing into the other’s mouth. “bet you’d look even better with my dick in your mouth.”

“why don’t we find out?”

the move was bold, even by your standards, and he was taken aback at first. he took it as his green card to do so, pulling his boxers and training shorts down as he scrambled to take off his socks so they all hit the floor with a dull thud. you hopped off of the table, but before you could sink to your knees and taste him, mason pulled you in by your waist and left a lingering kiss to your lips that left you feeling lightheaded.

his dick was warm against your lips when you wrapped them around it, and you felt him curse under his breath at the sight unfolding underneath him, a thing he’d been thinking of for so long every time he’d seen you walk around the cobham complex. you rested your hands against his muscular thighs and bobbed your head further, swirling your tongue around him with each pull back. “you’re so good at this too,” he grunted, wrapping one hand into your ponytail and the other resting on your face, stroking the soft skin. “is there anything you can’t do?” the strong emphasis on can’t came with a particularly good thrust on his part, where he involuntarily bucked his hips into your mouth, choking you.

“i can do everything,” you pulled off of him with a pop, and smirked. mason pushed you down onto the table when his lips crashed against yours to wipe the smug smile off of them, his hand coming down to your reluctant legs to separate them. he shot you a glistening smile, one that you couldn’t resist.

“just a little taste, y/n.”

his tongue circled your clit as his fingers delved into you, stretching you out for him. your back arched off of the bed with each flick his tongue made, causing his name to fall from your lips like water, unable to fight the feeling he was giving you. he was clearly very experienced in the oral area, humming every once in a while to give you an extra kick, making his movements sloppy and wet so it felt like heaven to you. “if you — fuck —carry on doing that i’m gonna cum, mason,” you whimpered, running a finger along each of your nipples for added sensation. he smirked against your skin, his tongue unrelenting on your clit as he sped up your orgasm, his fingers curling inside you at a gruelling pace so he could watch your face as you orgasmed above him.

“fuck, fuck,” your back arched and you clenched onto his short locks with one hand, “mason i’m gonna — fuck!”

you came in his mouth, mason’s tongue lapping up your juices as his wet fingers pulled out of you carefully. he left one more kiss to your clit, the gesture causing you to flinch as he looked over you once more, with your juices covering his stubbly upper lip and chin. the sight of it made you whimper, and you crashed your lips against his to taste yourself, swirling your tongues together in harmony. he pulled away and sucked at his fingers, never breaking eye contact with you throughout.

“are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked, the look in his eyes sincere while his dick pressed against your thigh. you cupped his face in your hands and kissed him softly.

“absolutely, but i, uh, i don’t have any condoms,” you admitted sheepishly, “i didn’t expect to be doing this with my sunday afternoon.”

mason laughed, burying his head in your shoulder at the way you eluded to the escapade you’d created in the workplace. your hand came down to his dick, making sure he knew you absolutely still wanted to do this, and he hummed. “i guess you could just pull out? i have the implant too if that helps, but better to be safe than sorry.”

“agreed,” he pressed his lips to yours again, a smile coming to his face as you pulled your hand away from his cock so he could align himself with you. “ready?”

you nodded, wrapping one arm around his shoulders while the other hand pressed against his bicep. mason pushed into you slowly, his size was much bigger than you’d fully realised while you were sucking him off and only now you gasped in surprise, moaning when he buried inside you to the hilt. he pulled out and inched in once more, until he got a steady rhythm going that was enjoyable for both of you.

“you’re so fuckin’ tight,” he groaned, his head dipping into the crook of your neck. you squeezed at his bicep as his hips rocked against yours, desperate for him to pick up the pace and he chuckled, his words coming out in a low grumble that felt as if it were coming from a different man entirely. “oh, you want more?”

the words left a whimper to leave your lips as you fumbled over the words to say, nodding and panting desperately underneath him. “y-yes please mase,” was all you could muster, and he chuckled again, kissing your jaw. you untangled your arm from around his shoulders as his left hand pushed your left leg out further, until he’d managed to stretch it up nearer to you, and he gripped onto it for leverage as the pace of his hips increased. you cried out, the new angle making him hit deeper and in turn causing you to feel every ridge of his wet dick. his head dropped down as he watched himself slide in and out of you, groaning at the sight. you cried out again, but wrapped a hand around your mouth to stop you from moaning.

“that’s it baby girl,” mason cooed, facing you once more, “you need to be quiet now but i promise next time you can be as loud as you want.”

his lips brushed your lips when you pulled your hand away, swallowing one another’s moans as they fell. you knew you weren’t going to last long, and desperately clenched around him to let him know. your middle finger instinctively began swirling around your clit. “‘m gonna cum, masey,” you whimpered, clenching around him twice more. he groaned at the feeling, your pussy feeling far to accommodating for his dick to leave in a few minutes, but he kissed along the bridge of your nose.

“come on, y/n, let go,” he cooed, watching as your face scrunched up at the feeling of your hand on your clit and mason’s dick inside you. the coil snapped somewhere inside your body, and the ripple effect left you moaning his name into his shoulder, “that’s it, good girl.”

you laid back on the table, completely worn out but knowing you needed to help mason out too, and his thrusts began to get sloppy as he felt his high near, the feeling of your pussy clenching around him uncontrollably as you came becoming a test of his ability to trust his body to not let go then and there, but luckily he waited. he pulled out of you and stood over you as you raised yourself up on your elbows, tongue out and ready. the sight of you with your tongue out, ready to taste his cum was what brought his orgasm on, and he came onto your tongue with a groan of your name, the white liquid spurting across your tongue, the table and his hand.

once you’d cleaned yourselves up and made sure you looked semi presentable in just your underwear, mason’s fingers traced the skin of your boobs. you laughed, “i wouldn’t do that if i were you unless you want a repeat of what just happened.”

he laughed with you and pressed a kiss to your temple, removing his fingers from tracing your boobs and now swirling circles on your shoulder, and he coughed above you gently as he found the right words to say. “i feel like we’ve done this in the wrong order, but would it be completely and utterly inappropriate if i asked you to go on a date with me?”

“no,” you smiled up at him, pressing a kiss to his nose. “not at all.”

•

i’m so sorry this took so long to post but i hope you enjoyed! thank you for the request anon💖

#mason mount #mason mount blurb #mason mount fluff #mason mount imagine #mason mount smut #football blurb #england blurb #mm19 #money mase #mount #mason being attentive is so personal to me <3 #❤ i love him ❤#my husband <3 #fuck i love this man #i hope you enjoy!#brb gonna find out how to be a sports masseuse #catch me at cobham besties <3

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shiftylookingcrow · 3 years

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A (not comprehensive) List of Little Self Care Things I Do When Everything Feels Like Too Much:

Bathing

Wash just your body, or just your hair. You may not be completely clean, but you ARE cleaner

Still feels like too much? No problem!

Take off any jewelry from your hands/wrists and wash your hands up to your elbows, just taking your time

Then wash your arm pits and groin, those are the stinkiest parts of the body

If you're feeling up to it, wash your face too

Once you're done washing, take your favorite body lotion and massage it in anywhere you washed

Shaving

Shaving takes time and patience (especially if you prefer to be mostly hairless), but you don't have to go through the whole process every time

Wanna wear that cute tank top/crop top but don't feel comfortable with how hairy your pits are today?

JUST shave your arm pits then

Wanna wear shorts/capries/a skirt, but feel your legs are too fuzzy?

Where on your legs do the cuffs/hem sit? JUST shave from there down

Facial hair looking kinda scruffy? Got an electric shaver? It won't give you as close a shave as a razor, but it'll help neaten you up a bit

After any shaving, get back in there with your lotion and work it in well

Laundry

Don't have the energy to drag that big basket you've been avoiding down to the washing machine? Out of clothes but need something to wear tomorrow?

Wash ONLY what you'll need for the next 1 or 2 days. A smaller load means less to put away after

Need a bra/binder/mask/etc for tomorrow? Wash ONE, then hang it to dry with a fan blowing on it.

The air movement will help it dry faster, and while it may not be 100% dry by morning, it should be dry enough to wear comfortably

This can be done for underwear and socks as well

Dental

Mouth feeling like sandpaper, but you still can't find it in you to go through the whole tooth care routine?

JUST brush your teeth before bed. You can floss in the morning

No energy to get in there and really scrub like your dentist told you to? Even just a quick scrub is better than nothing

You know those little Gum brand toothpick things? With runber bristles on them? They can't replace proper flossing, but the CAN at least get the worst of the gunk from between your teeth

Food

Hungry but can't bring yourself to put together a whole meal? That's okay!

Get all the fixings for a sandwich (bread, spreads, cheese, meat, etc), put them on a plate and eat that. You're still eating a sandwich, it's just not an assembled sandwich

Want a smoothy, but don't want to fuss with the blender? Put it all together as a yogurt bowl instead

Want a salad? Grab a couple lettuce leaves, a stick of celery, half a tomato, or whatever else you'd have in there, and toss it on a plate. Grab some dressing (or not) and you've got a personal size veggie platter

Cut an orange in half and eat the pulp out with a spoon

Cut an apple in half, and eat JUST one half. You can save the other half for later, or eat it right after the first if you feel up to it

Cutting a banana in half and squeezing out the fruit means you don't have to worry about those gross stringy bits

Simple Smoothie Recipe:

1 banana

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp honey/sugar

Milk (dairy, soy, almond, whichever)

Berries, yogurt, chocolate chips, jam (optional)

Directions

Put all ingredients except milk in a blender (or 4 cup measure if using a hand mixer)

Pour in milk until ingredients are ALMOST covered. There should be about 1 inch/2.5 cm of solid ingredients visible

Blender/mix for 30-60 seconds, or until desired consistency. Pour into your favorite glass, or drink straight from the container

Simple baked potato:

Clean a medium to large potato and use a fork to stab holes down the sides and at each end. Depending on the size, you should have stab your potato somewhere around 9-12 times.

Place the potato in the microwave just off of center, one end facing the center of the spinning plate

Microwave for 15 minutes, flipping the potato end for end after every 5 minutes

Put the potato on a plate with some sour cream or ranch dressing, and dip it like a big ol' french fry

House Cleaning

Feel like there's too many dishes? Pick ONE place setting (bowl, plate, knife, fork, spoon, cup), and ONE pot/pan, and clean those. Do the same at the end of each meal, and while it might take a while, you'll eventually get things down to a manageable level

Dust bunnies breeding in the corners? Pick ONE room or hallway every couple days and just clean there. ONE clean room is better than NO clean rooms

Your room is so messy you don't know where to start? Every time you enter your room, put ONE thing back where it belongs. Every time you leave your room, take one thing that doesn't belong out with you and put it where it belongs.

Sink looking kind of gross? Give it a quick wipe down the next time you wash your hands

Toilet needs a clean? Pick a part (lid, seat, back or bowl) and just clean that bit. Even if you're just wiping some of the dust off the back.

Scum ring building up in the shower/bathtub? Give it a quick scrub next time you bathe. Maybe you don't get the whole thing, but you DID make a start.

Fitness

No energy for a full walk? If you can, walk around your house/apartment building. You might not have gone far, but you were UP and you were OUTSIDE.

Can't get out for whatever reason? Are there stairs in your house? In your apartment building? If you can, walk up and down those a few times.

Not really able to do stairs? Do some simple stretches instead.

Reach down and try to touch your toes, holding for 20 seconds. Reach up over your head as high as you can, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times

Sitting in a chair, reach your right hand across your body and over your left shoulder and try to grab the back of the chair without lifting your butt. Hold for 20 seconds. Do the same with your left arm, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times

Standing, or sitting on a chair, gently pull your head towards your shoulder (right hand, right shoulder; left hand, left shoulder), reaching the other hand down towards the ground. Hold for 20 seconds, then gently push your head upright again (lifting your head with just your neck muscles can cause them to seize after a stretch). Repeat 5 times

Miscellaneous

Need to trim your nails, but don't feel like sitting through both hands? Pick one finger on each hand, and just trim that nail. Do another nail on each hand tomorrow, and another the day after that. You don't have to do them all at once

Having trouble remembering to drink enough water? Find a water bottle/mug/glass that you like and try to keep it near you as much as possible. I find actually having a bottle with me helps me remember to keep sipping.

Still having trouble with your water intake? Fruit and veggies (specifically like apples, oranges, tomatoes, bell peppers and avocados to name a few) have high water content and can help keep you hydrated

Even if you can't get to sleep, lieing in bed with your eyes closed is more restful than trying to wear yourself out by reading or something

Alternatively, doing some mild stretches, or a few sit ups/push ups/jumping jacks can help wear you out without engaging your brain too much

You are aloud to say "no". You don't even need to give a reason. If everything feels like too much, taking on more responsibility will only make it worse, which will only make your output poorer as a result.

A reminder that this is by no means a complete list, just some things I've found helpful in my journey through adhd, depression, and anxiety. Not all tasks need to be done all at once. Maybe you can't do much, but that doesn't invalidate the some you did. Just because you take longer to do a task doesn't mean your bad at it, or that it isn't worth doing. You'll get there when you get there.

Please feel free to add to this post, I'd love to see what self care tricks other people are using!

#long post #mental health #self care tips #depression help #adhd help #anxiety help #autism help #there's probably others i can't think of right now #also i can't for the life of me figure out how to do a 'read more' on mobile #so i'm really sorry for this

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harrypotterbrainworms · 3 years

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Denial Done (18+)

Summary: very very very spicy polyam fic. (request)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x Male Reader

Key: (Y/N)- your name

Word Count: 3387

A/N: i am so sorry. (sorry it took so long too. i feel bad. i wrote most of this VERY drunk. don’t drink kids.)

Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat with a disheveled look on his face, both of his boyfriends noticed this of course.

“Sirius… Can you not sit still for 5 fucking minutes while we finish our essays?” Remus sighed laying his face onto the nearly complete parchment, Sirius always ran circles around them while they were working, always.

“Really. We need to finish these before tomorrow, ya know? We have until tonight and if it wasn’t for you and detention we would’ve been done by now” (Y/N) sighed in discontent as well, a look of annoyance and frustration on his face, yet Sirius couldn’t help it. He was always restless, but especially right now.

“Please, Merlin, will you stop doing homework for one second and realise we haven’t had sex in a two weeks. You’re killing me.” He huffed out at his boring, hot, homework obsessed boyfriends. He had probably been hard for days by now, but every time he tried to fix it himself he just couldn’t make himself cum, not like they could.

“You’re killing yourself, Padfoot. If we keep getting full essays for pranks, we’ll never have sex again” He hissed at Sirius, very obviously pissed at how much of a pain in the ass his boyfriend was being. Acting like they had deprived out of pleasure and not out of school necessity, so over dramatic, he thought.

“Can we stop saying sex, I don’t think I can handle hearing that word again” Remus tried to hide the blush forming on his face, he in particular didn’t like to bring up their sex life in any way, especially not in front of the other studying students in the library. Sure it had been 15 days, 17 hours and 30 minutes since they last “made love” and maybe he had been dying for a choice to bring it up again, but not in such a public space.

Sirius pouted and slumped into the chair he was sitting on before crossing his arms dramatically.

“Fine. I’ll be honest. I’ve had the biggest boner of my life for the last 3 days” He huffed looking like a child throwing a fit, looking down at his boner that was politely tucked under belt for the time being.

“PADFOOT. We’re in the library. Keep quiet” Remus whisper shouted at him, giving him a death glare as he checked whether or not anyone had heard him or not.

“I’m sorry if my needs are so much less important than homework” Sirius pouted even harder looking away from them with an angry red face, leaving his boyfriends looking at each other a little awkwardly.

“Homework. That was your fault” Remus mumbled in response first trying to pull his attention away from Sirius’s bulge and back at the stacked parchment.

“Fuck me.” (Y/N) said trying to ignore him as well, but he just kept at it as usual. Trying to push the boundaries of what they would do if he pissed them off enough.

“That’s what I want you to do.” He replied too smuggly only to be met with the cold eyes of (Y/N) grabbing his face, leaving a knot in his stomach and throat. That was the straw he needed.

“You know what, Sirius? Fine.” He pulled his face closer, Sirius being too scared to even breathe anymore.

“What?” He was getting what he wanted, right?

(Y/N) ducked underneath the table with a sigh and started to unzip Sirius’s pants, he immediately knocked his knees up against the table at the sudden contact. Remus went red in the face when he realised what was unfolding, Sirius’s pants….

“Put muffliato on him, quick.” He huffed out to the very shocked Remus. He obeyed and charmed the already moaning Sirius.

“I haven't even touched you yet.” He groaned out, looking at Sirius’s twitching, dripping cock. He wasn’t sure how to feel, frustrated? Horny? Tired of his bullshit?

Sirius tried to say something, probably along the lines of “you’re so hot, just looking at you makes me wanna cum”, but nothing came out.

“This isn’t a good idea… Can’t you wait until we get back to the dorms?” Remus stuttered out nervously as he watched (Y/N) stare intently at the very hard penis in front of him, he may have even felt himself twitch in his own pants… not very convenient. (Y/N) looked at his tented pants and back at him, visibly dismissing his issue by sighing and turning back to the problem at hand.

“No, Remus. This can’t go on, we need to finish our essays and he’s not gonna shut up ‘till then” He waved in his general direction, extending his hand to rub his leg saying ‘later, okay?’. Remus looked a little uncomfortable, but would rather not get on (Y/N) bad side, especially while he was about to suck his boyfriend off.

“I guess.” He nodded and immediately looked at his book, trying to pretend like (Y/N) had just headed to the bathroom and was definitely not under the table.

Sirius just sat there, muffled and impatient. His dick twitching unintentionally at the swallow breath from (Y/N)’s mouth.

“You owe me.” He huffed out giving Sirius’s dick a kiss causing his boyfriend’s leg to shake a little at the anticipation. He slowly moved his face down while staring straight into Sirius’s eyes. The black haired boy bit his lip feeling very impatient, he wanted to push (Y/N)’s head down already, but he’d regret it immediately. Sirius looked like he was begging to speak, so he lifted the charm and let him speak.

“Don’t tease, please.” He pleaded to dead ears as (Y/N) harshly and delicately made sure to brush the head of his dick with every stroke.

“This isn’t a favour, Black. So just shut your face and then you can stop being horny for 5 fucking minutes” He stared through Sirius’s soul with that sending a twitch down his leg.

“Sit still, don’t be a fucking brat.” He groaned, grabbing Sirius’s feet between his thighs. Every time his boyfriend twitched he could just feel his leg rub up against him and for a moment he considered how much he could get away with, what if he just fucked Sirius unconscious under the table these thoughts only fuelling his agonisingly slow stroke.

“Come on, you’ve been depriving me all week.” He pouted in even a hopeful attempt to gain some control back, but was only met with evil horny eyes filled with all the possible things he could think of.

“No, Sirius. We’ve been studying all week and now you’re getting what you want. So you’ll sit still when I tell you, cum when I tell you and shut the fuck up when I tell you, okay?” He kept the same deep stare and deadpanned frustrated face, then grabbed his dick very roughly making Sirius dig his face into the book he was “reading” trying to muffle his moans without the charm.

“A-ah- okay…”

“Great.” He mumbled and pointed to Remus to cast it again. He looked up to the dripping boy in front of him once again, not leaving him a second to get comfortable before grabbing his dick full force. Not letting any moment to breathe with the fast and merciless strokes caused Sirius to involuntarily hit his knees against the table causing a few curious looks towards them.

Sirius felt like he just couldn’t keep up with the pace and rhythm anymore, just convulsing and shaking at every little touch he was given. The minute it looked like Sirius was gonna come, he just stopped dead in his tracks. He only moved on with slower and slower strokes and it never got faster than it was in the beginning which frustrated Sirius to his core. It felt like he would die at this rate, it added a layer of pleasure every time he just couldn’t do anything else, but watch his boyfriend work his magic.

“Wanna cum yet?” He gripped the base of Sirius’s penis pulling any form of pre-cum there was in the shaft making him gasp and keel over his face planted to his desk.

He nodded as well as he could, hoping only Moony and (N/N) could see and hear his muffled screaming at this point.

“Well you can’t.” He said picking up the pace just a little bit in spite trying to bring his boyfriend’s hope up.

He groaned at this response, tears starting to run down his face as he watched Remus shift uncomfortably. He thought he saw Moony rubbing one out over his pants, but was immediately distracted by the fact that (Y/N) had wrapped his mouth around his penis incredibly slowly and looked up at him. He couldn’t anymore, not with his boyfriend now running every part of his mouth up and down his dick. For the first time in the last 30 minutes it finally got faster and he begged and pleaded in muffled words and finally… (Y/N) nodded.

Remus slapped his hand over his mouth as he cum hard in his own pants leaving a small stain on it, the convulsions Sirius was pulled into sending him over the edge. A layer of sweat and tears glistening on his face under the pale candle light, he looked down to (Y/N) who had a long stream of thick cum running down his lips.

“What good boy, huh Moony?” He stared straight through Remus, he sat there shocked and upon seeing where (Y/N)’s eyes were going he removed his own cum covered hand out of his pants.

Remus nodded vigorously at (Y/N) as he watched Sirius convulse a few more times before panting heavily with a spaced out look on his face.

“Clean.” Before the words even left his mouth Sirius started kissing (Y/N) licking any remaining cum on his face with a smile of gratitude. He pointed at Remus’s hand as well leaving Sirius desperately licking up every bit of his cum too, not leaving a drop of anyone’s left.

“Will you disturb us again?” (Y/N) asked as he got up from underneath the table dusting off his knees and taking a cocky stride to his seat again.

Sirius shook his head starting to feel a headache coming on as he could barely tuck his very sensitive dick into his pants. Every little movement of his pants left Sirius feeling like he’d come again.

“Good. Homework?” He turned to Remus who was still looking at his hand in shock, but turned his attention toward with a nod.

“O-Of course” Remus replied and started absentmindedly writing notes and words onto his parchment. Every now and then he looked over to Sirius who still couldn’t hold himself together, everytime he was touched he flinched almost moaning in the process which left Remus harder than he ever imagined he could be.

(Y/N) looked up at Sirius to give a sympathetic look or a kiss on the forehead for being so good during and after the interaction. Leaving his black haired boyfriend very smitten and not at all mad at his still semi-throbbing cock. The days passed on as they always did, thinking about the next time.

Now in the dark room of their dorm, everyone and their mother could hear Remus Lupin pacing up and down the space, mumbling to himself. Nothing in particular just frustrated mumbling.

“Moony, just fucking sleep?!” James groaned with two pillows around his head

“He’s mad that I sucked Sirius’s dick and not his.” (Y/N) sighed pulling himself from the duvet he was hiding in, pulling a wand and book with him.

“You sucked his dick?!” James exclaimed pointing at Sirius who looked like he had folded himself into four different pretzels as he snored through the annoying pitter patter of his boyfriend.

“Yes, James. Keep up”

“I’m not mad or upset. You can suck who’s ever dick you want.” Remus huffed turning to face s corner to stand in alone while he continued his brooding session right in the middle of the common room.

“Remus. Just sleep, okay?” (Y/N) yawned trying his back away from Remus, wrapping himself in blankets in the process.

“Fine. I will. You’ll see.” He said before he could think, stomping off to his bed.

He threw himself onto his bed like an angry child sent to bed without dinner, but, he didn’t realise about an hour into being upset, the shadowy figure enter his four poster bed and closed the curtains.

“I know you’re upset. Do you want me to give you a wank, Remus?” The shadow now being recognised as (Y/N) whispered into his ear.

“N-No. Don’t call it that!” Remus stuttered out, but regretted saying it so loudly.

“Fine, do you want my hand to “make sweet love” to your penis?” (Y/N) dead panned at Remus sarcastically, moving closer to him on the bed until they were a few inches apart.

“Don’t patronise me.” Remus huffed around turning to face away from him, but that only gave (Y/N) access to his neck, leaving kiss after kiss on it.

“You’re doing a pretty good job doing that to yourself.” He stated between kisses.

“No I’m not.”

“Just tell me what you want, Moony.” He sighed and paused his neck exploration, hugging Remus from behind and snuggled his head into his neck.

“I-l- I want-“ He waited for a full sentence as he slowly pushed his hands into Remus’s shirt, making him more nervous.

“Yes?”

“I want you to-“ He felt (Y/N) hands slowly dragging up and down stomach skin, sending shivers down his spine. A small pit forming his stomach as he tried to say the words.

“To do what?” He smiled into Remus’s neck as he continued to kiss him.

“T-Touch me.” He finally said it, but it didn’t seem to be exactly what (Y/N) wanted to hear.

“Come on, Remus. I know you can say full sentences”

“I want you to t-touch m-me” He blurted out in a quick string of words as he felt (Y/N)’s hands falling south of his waist.

“That can be arranged” He said with a smirk, placing his fingers between Remus’s underwear snapping it.

He shiftly whispered a jinx into his ear, Remus feeling his hands pull together behind his back quickly. He looked up at (Y/N) who was usually shorter, but with Remus on his back and his boyfriend on his knees he felt inferior.

“You’re been a brat all day, honey. You didn’t expect me to just give you what you want on a silver platter, did you?” He cocked an eyebrow, pushing his boyfriend’s underwear and pants down, leaving it tangled together at his ankles.

“Of course not.” He huffed, trying his best to get into a semi comfortable position.

“Now, shush. I’m not putting any charms up.”

Remus suppressed a moan slowly escaping his lips as (Y/N) stroked him slowly, keeping a careful pace. He’d been sticking there hard for so long, he didn’t think he could last long.

“Please, god… I just” He huffed out, feeling the knot in his stomach as (Y/N) bent down kissing the light pink scars sticking out from his shirt.

“Speak up, I know you can.” Still kissing and suckling on Remus’s neck,

“I n-need to-“ He moaned as he felt his knees start to buckle from underneath. his toes curling in the process.

“Tell me what you need?” He said impatiently, always so needy and so apprehensive. He stroked faster, trying to pull Remus closer and closer to euphoria.

“I need to cum” He said blankly, a soft moan escaping his lips as he felt (Y/N)’s lips on his jaw.

“Aw? Already? Fine.”

“R-Really?” Remus perked up, a grateful smile on his face as he started to push himself closer to the edge.

“Knock yourself out” (Y/N) yawned a bit, looking as unfazed as he could.

“Thank you!” He was about to cum to the quick pace of (Y/N)’s pace, but before he could even bring himself over to the edge he stopped.

“No-“ He came everywhere, but he felt nothing. Only the lingering feeling that he was supposed to cum being left, he had every symptom of having the biggest orgasm in a while yet the pressure in stomach said otherwise. His legs shook and he was barely able to move where (Y/N) had pulled him to, his ass now in the air and his face buried into the mattress.

“What? Thought I’d let you cum properly yet after you’ve been brooding for days.” (Y/N) said pushing his boner against his boyfriend’s ass teasingly adding a few dry humps sending Remus through the motions again.

Remus moaned at the friction being caused, but immediately got a hand over his mouth which he thanked the lord for when he realised once again his friends were fast asleep around him. His core hurt, the unclenching and clenching of his muscles giving him unbearable cramps.

“P-Please, (Y/N)... This is too much” He twitched upwards, panting heavily.

“You haven’t said your safe word, Moony. If I knew better and I do, you’re enjoying this.”

He brought his boyfriend’s body to his own, Remus trying to cling to (Y/N) for his life.

“So fucking cute.” He said, grabbing the other boy’s face from behind, making him stare into eyes as he snaked his hand around Remus’s penis making him flinch with pleasure and pain.

“Yes” He agreed with him instantly as he moved his other hand to wring his nipple.

“Kiss me, love” He ordered and Remus connected their lips, every sudden fast stroke was a moan into (Y/N)’s mouth. He opened his eyes every few seconds to see a sweaty, blushing and moaning Remus making him want to fuck him right then. His thrusts became sloppy as he breathed a little heavy. He left out a sigh and stopped.

“I’m tired, come ‘ere” He propped himself up on the bedpost and patted his leg, Remus crawled to straddle his boyfriend’s leg and started grinding himself against.

“You can- cum properly this time- as long as you do it here” He said in between kissing and suckling on his neck, Remus nodded enthusiastically as he started to ride (Y/N)’s leg quickly.

“Slow down, love. No rush.” He held down his hips, slowing his movement which drove Remus insane while (Y/N) just brought his body toward him whispering in his ear.

Remus was flushed from ear to ear, his breath hinging every few seconds as he drew closer and closer to his release.

“Do you want to- ah- cum too?” Remus whispered as he was basically hugging (Y/N).

“Are you offering?” (Y/N) asked, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“Yes, Merlin. Yes.” He sighed out defeated as he left (Y/N)’s thigh.

Remus pushed (Y/N)’s underwear down over his dick, watching it spring out. He grabbed one of pillows as he positioned himself to suck him off.

“Merlin, you’re too good to me.” (Y/N) breathed out as Remus put his lips around him. He watched Remus, stroking his hair tiredly as he felt himself coming closer and closer to cumming as well.

Remus bopped his head up and down at an alarming rate making (Y/N) buck his upwards into his throat. He pulled on his hair a bit, Remus humming around him.

“Shit. I’m gonna cum.” He shivered as he felt Remus’s tongue work on his dick.

(Y/N) pushed Remus’s head into him, releasing down his throat. He watched Remus undo too, a few strings of cum spewing onto the bed.

“Good boy.” He breathed out shakily as Remus pulled his mouth off (Y/N). He smiled tiredly and (Y/N) kissed forehead lightly, ruffling his hair as he helped Remus clean up and tucked in bed. He yawned and stretched his arms out, heading to his own bed.

“You guys are so hot.” He heard Sirius whisper from his bed, he was probably listening the entire time.

“You’re a slut, you know that. Could’ve joined us” He sighed and climbed into bed.

699 notes · View notes

tpwkjerii · 3 years

Text

strawberry kisses

you and felix have a longstanding tradition of baking the day after finals. usually, it’s the best method of relaxing after long hours of studying. unfortunately, you find yourself rather tense this time — after all, it’s always fun to spend an entire day in a cramped kitchen with your crush, isn’t it?

pairing: lee felix x reader

warnings: fluff and kissing, mild angst, reader likes strawberries (sorry if you’re allergic skdlsd), ex boyfriend (but supportive bestie) minho, reader has low self confidence :(, like two curse words, kisses!!

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda idiots to lovers, mutual pining

word count: 2.9k+

a/n: short fic for Felix hehe

Your eyes glazed over as you reviewed the last response of your final exam of the term. After two long hours of plugging equations you hardly understood into your nearly-dead calculator and speed-writing to the point where you’re sure you’ve bruised your dominant hand, you finally finished. At lightning speed, you gathered your exam papers and submitted them at the front with a quick prayer to the universe.

A few other students followed your rushed pace out of the large lecture hall, all of you eager to finally get out of the stuffy room.

As you stepped out of the packed hall and into the cooling outdoors, you checked your phone, which was filled with texts from the one person you were trying desperately to get out of your head (and miserably failing at that).

felix (strawberry head) <3

5:23 PM

did you finish your chem final ???

hyunjin and i just submitted our video for our dance performance

your editing was very good btw :D

5:35 PM

y/nnnnn you’re taking forever :(

we’re waiting at the quad for you !!

5:40 PM

*i am waiting at the quad for you

the others got too hungry and left, but i’m waiting for you!

pls hurry it’s cold :[

You bit back a laugh at his texts, his heartwarming tone filling you with a familiar fuzzy feeling. You pushed the feeling aside as you texted a reply.

y/n

5:43 PM

be there in 2 :D

You stifled a smile as you rushed towards the quad. Soon enough, you saw Felix and his bright, red-dyed hair (you first noted that it closely resembled a strawberry). The moment your eyes met his, you felt your heart skip a beat and heat spread across your face. This was the common reaction you’ve had for the past few months whenever you see Felix.

He rushed over to you with a giddy smile and his arms outstretched. Quickly, he barrelled into you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“You took so long,” he whined, his chest vibrating as he spoke.

“I know, I know. ‘M sorry,” you responded, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt. You took a second to enjoy his hold and the comforting warmth that Felix always provided you whenever he was near. Over the past few years, you’ve grown accustomed to the scent of his sweet floral perfume, the feeling of his tight hugs, and the way he played with your fingers when he was bored.

All the things you were fond of were now extreme nuisances in your life. Not because they were annoying or because you disliked Felix, but rather the complete opposite; you were completely, helplessly, and foolishly in love with him.

“You ready to go?” Felix asked suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. He brought his arms down from around you, and you looked down at the ground as you nodded, hoping that he didn’t see the intense blush that was spreading from your face to your neck.

You are so fucked for tomorrow.

After an entire night of tossing and turning in anxiety, the next day finally arrived. To say you were nervous was a massive understatement.

The minute you woke up, you began to anxiously clean your apartment while your roommate Ryujin laughed at you. As you wiped down every visible crevice, she made sure to pester you about a “missed spot” or tempt you with sweets.

“You’ve never cleaned this much whenever Felix came over before,” she pointed out with a laugh while you wiped down the kitchen counters for the fourth time.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice uncharacteristically high-pitched.

Ryujin scoffed. “It is so obvious that you like Felix, there’s no point in lying to me,” she stated bluntly.

Your hand froze mid-wipe on the counter. You looked over at your blue-haired roommate nervously. “Is it really… that obvious?”

“Yes,” she deadpanned.

You winced and dropped your head onto the smooth stone countertop. “Do you think he’s noticed?” you moaned into your arms.

“If he hasn’t, I will personally pay for his glasses prescription.”

You whined again as you lifted your head up to look directly at Ryujin. “If he’s noticed then why hasn’t he said anything?”

She stood up as she answered, “Not sure but you could always ask him today.”

Your mouth dropped in horror at the suggestion. “I can’t tell him how I feel! That would completely ruin our friendship!”

“So you’d rather continue tip-toeing around him and never get a clear answer?” she questioned, her arms crossed.

“Yes.”

Ryujin sighed and started to collect her things. “You can do whatever you want,” she started as she placed her papers in her backpack, “but I recommend you tell him soon.” She stood up and headed for the door. Just before opening it and leaving you alone with your thoughts until Felix arrived, she turned around and said, “I won’t be home until late, have fun.” With that, she winked and walked out of your shared apartment.

You scoffed at her suggestive tone and stood upright to check the time.

10:08 AM

You gasped. Felix said he was going to arrive at 10:30, but knowing him he would be at least 15 minutes early, meaning you only had 7 minutes to get yourself together!

You cursed and rushed to your bedroom. Switching out of your wrinkled pajamas, you opted for a random hoodie you grabbed out of your closet and jeans. After you changed, you made a beeline for the bathroom and fixed your appearance. You quickly brushed through your hair and washed your face, hoping you removed all remnants of your restless sleep.

Just as you predicted, you heard four distinctive knocks on your front door right at 10:15.

“Coming!” you exclaimed as you rushed out of your bathroom.

Right before you opened the front door, you placed a hand on your beating heart and mumbled words of encouragement to yourself. Then, after deciding that you were probably taking too long, you pulled the door open.

Immediately, Felix, covered in a large hoodie and arms filled with large bags of baking ingredients, greeted you with a large grin. Like every other time, you felt your heart skip a beat when you made eye contact with him.

“Hi,” you said simply, a smile on your face.

“Hi,” he responded. He looked you up and down, asking, “Are you wearing my hoodie?”

You paled and looked down at the large pink hoodie, immediately recognizing it as the one that Felix lent you almost one year ago when he dropped you off at the airport since you forgot yours in the car. Once you got back from your trip, you’d forgotten to give it back to him.

“O-oh,” you stuttered, looking down at the oversized sleeves. “I didn’t even realize,” you continued awkwardly. “You can ha -”

“It’s fine,” he cut you off, the smile never leaving his face. He shrugged. “You look better in it anyways.”

Your mouth dropped and you found yourself unable to respond for a few moments. Felix laughed at your dumbfoundedness and gently pushed you aside to walk into the apartment. Once he set the bags down on the kitchen counters, you returned to your senses and closed the door to walk over to him.

“So, what are we making today?” you asked, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. It wasn’t an easy task to do, considering his proximity to you.

You held your breath as he grabbed your hands and looked into your eyes. “What’s your favorite fruit?” he asked excitedly.

“Er, strawberries?” you answered, tilting your head to the side in mild confusion.

At that, Felix let go of your hands and quickly pulled out a carton of fresh strawberries from one of the bags. You gasped in delight at the sight of the bright fruit and immediately thanked him.

“It’s no big deal,” he responded while sliding the fruits into the fridge. “I’m gonna eat most of the tarts and choco strawberries anyways,” he added with a sneaky laugh.

You scoffed. “You always say that but you always end up giving me the most.” You smirked at him while taking out the baking materials.

“I don’t give it to you,” he countered. “You steal them.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you told him with a sing-song tone. He laughed from your side, and you swore that you heard actual sparkles, as if he were a fairy, when he did.

You cleared your throat, hoping to rid your mind of distracting thoughts that could be potential problems during the next seven hours that Felix would be at your apartment. “So, master chef Felix,” you started, lowering your voice like a TV show announcer. “What are you going to do first?”

“Well, my fair announcer,” he began, holding up the silicon whisk like a microphone. “I think we should start with preparing the shortbread dough, what about you?”

“Ah, you are the chef. Lead the way,” you responded with a wide smile.

You both laughed together and actually began the baking. Like usual, Felix did most of the work while you played music and assisted from the side. You worked together seamlessly, and soon enough the shortbread cookies were done and strawberry jam cooling to the side.

While you taste-tested the jam, Felix began to whisk the melted chocolate, and you took this time to admire him. You stood at his side, allowing you to admire his side profile.

Felix was easily one of the most beautiful individuals you ever laid your eyes on. But his appearance wasn’t the only part you fell for — he was one of the few people whose inside beauty matched their outside beauty.

Felix was kind, funny, optimistic, and just about every positive adjective you could find in a dictionary. After every failed test, he was there with a cup of strawberry ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. When you landed your first job, he was there to celebrate with you even when your own family wasn’t. And when you and Minho mutually broke up, he was there to give you advice as you coped with the end of your first relationship.

How could you not fall for him?

And sometimes you had the feeling that he liked you back. The touches that would linger for just a few seconds too long, the soft smiles that Chan claimed he only ever gave to you, and his late-night texts all spurned a tiny hopeful fire in you that kept your crush alive.

No matter how many times you tried to get over him and convince yourself that your crush didn’t exist, the tiny voice in your head still spoke. “But what if he likes you back?”

Now, as Felix stood by your side with a soft smile on his face while he whisked the chocolate, that voice screamed louder than ever.

And just as you gained a sliver of courage, the same paralyzing thoughts that have held you back for the past few months returned.

Felix was out of your league in every way. He was social and easily commanded the attention of an entire room with so much as two words. His outward beauty matched his insides, and everyone on campus reached a collective agreement that if angels ever existed and walked among us — Lee Felix was certainly one of them.

And those things were only the tip of the iceberg that is Felix. He was talented, sensitive, supportive, passionate, and everything you could ever ask for and then some.

You then thought back to all the people he rejected - kindly, of course - and how you matched up to them. If Felix didn’t choose to go out with all those beautiful and talented people, what on Earth made you think you would choose you?

At this point, Felix picked up on your sudden silence and how your breaths grew heavy and uneven.

“Are you… alright?” he asked carefully, his own chest beating heavily.

You stared at him, panicked that he caught onto your apprehension. “Um…” you started, trailing off as you met his gaze.

Felix let go of the whisk and grabbed your hands. “You can say whatever you need to.”

“I uh,” you started after a few moments, internally battling yourself to gain courage as you realized that it’s now or never. “I kinda like you,” you admitted quietly, looking down at your intertwined hands anxiously. You waited for him to pull his hand away in disgust and start to kindly reject you like he did to all those other people, but it never came. After a few seconds, his hands still the entire time, you looked up at him with glassy eyes in confusion.

“What?” he finally said, his deep voice softer than ever.

You looked back down at your hands shamefully. “Do I really have to repeat it?” you asked weakly. “I like you, Felix. I have for the past few months and it’s been driving me insane because it feels like my heart’s about to stop dead whenever I see you and I can never think straight when you’re with me. Apparently, it’s been pretty obvious and I really tried my best to get over it so it wouldn’t hurt our friendship.

“Trust me, I really wanted to get over it but I couldn’t, and I know you don’t like me back so it’s ok. I can deal with it on my own and you can just leave a -”

“Y/N,” Felix said suddenly, his voice firm. You looked up, tears rolling down your face as you were sure that he was about to reject you.

“Felix please don’t interrupt me. At least let me finish what I have to say,” you pleaded softly, removing your hands from his.

“Y/N,” he repeated, his voice much gentler. He carefully wiped the tears from your face and took your hands into his again. “Can I say something before you finish?” he requested.

You choked back a sob as you nodded, certain that he was just going to let you down kindly.

“I like you too, Y/N,” he said shyly, a blush spreading across his freckled face.

Your entire body froze.

“I was too scared to admit it because I didn’t think you liked me back,” he continued, the words slowly registering in your mind. “To be honest, I thought you still liked Minho.”

You blushed at his words, thinking back to all the times you would pull Minho, your ex-boyfriend, to the side to talk about Felix these past few months. You didn’t realize how it must have looked to Felix or your other friends.

“I was also… afraid of ruining our friendship, so I’ve just kept it to myself the past two years.”

You gaped at him. “Two years?” you sputtered, causing him to laugh at the way your eyes widened comically. “That’s when we first started uni!”

He shrugged. “What can I say? I was instantly attracted to the way you fought Chan on why you should be allowed to keep the minifridge in your dorm,” he joked.

You blushed at the embarrassing memory, although it wasn’t completely regrettable as it was how you met most of your current friends — including Felix.

“I’m surprised,” you voiced simply. “I didn’t think you would ever like me back.” You breathed out, your muscles relaxing instantly.

Felix grinned again and he moved slowly to envelop you in his arms. He rested his hands on the small of your back and his head on the crook of your shoulder.

“Does this mean that I can take you out on a date?” he whispered.

“Will you promise to stop taking unflattering pictures of me and sending them to me in the middle of the night?” you asked, your head resting against his and arms around him.

He sighed. “Fine,” he answered reluctantly with a whine.

“Then sure,” you responded and pulled your head back to meet his eyes. His eyes shined from the sunlight pouring through the windows and his freckles glimmered like stars across a canvas. Felix was truly beautiful inside and out.

“You have some strawberry jam on your lip,” he said after a few silent moments where you both admired each other.

“Really?” you asked. Your hand moved from his back towards your face, but Felix caught your hand in midair and returned it to its original position.

“I’ll get it,” he murmured with a gentle smile before closing the distance between your lips.

You held your breath as he pressed his soft lips against yours. You instantly recognized the strawberry chapstick he uses and the taste of the shortbread cookies. He swiped his tongue against the corner of your lip, and the sudden sensation caused a shiver to run down your spine.

You brought your hand up to his hair and gently tugged at his dyed locks. Felix brought you closer to him and massaged your back as he deepened the kiss.

When you finally pulled away, your face was burning red and you were completely breathless. Felix was smiling giddily, his arms still around yours.

“I think there’s still some jam left,” he told you, not even giving you a second to respond before he pressed his lips against yours once again. This kiss was much more playful than the last as you giggled against each other in the kiss.

“Did you get it all?” you asked him, your voice reduced to a murmur as he continued kissing your lips.

He hummed, kissing you once and twice in between, before responding, “I don’t think so.”

You laughed against his lips. “Well, I guess you better get it all. I can’t have strawberries stuck on my lips all day.”

He laughed with you, and true to his words, he eventually did get all the strawberry jam off (an extra two hours and an uncountable amount of kisses later).

#lee felix #lee felix x reader #felix stray kids #lee felix fanfic #lee felix imagine #lee felix imagines #skz scenarios #skz #skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz x y/n #stray kids #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids felix #hyunjin #minho

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darlingyanderes · 4 years

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I’ll take care of it pt. 1- Yandere!Izuku Midoriya x fem!reader

@thirsthourdemon, here is my fic for day 30 of @yandere-sins‘ Yantober prompt list! I wanted to go in a direction that’s a little bit different, so I hope you enjoyed what I wrote for prompt 30: scary

Warnings: emotional manipulation, stalker behaviour, mention of violence, bit of fluff?

Word count: 1008

(Y/N) knew exactly what was going on. Or rather, she had a very, very big hunch. The past few months, she’d been finding creepy love letters in her locker, felt eyes on her everywhere she went and could swear she heard footsteps in her house at night.

At first, she vented about this to her best friend Izuku, who would listen patiently listen to her and act shocked when they heard what (Y/N) was going through.

However, (Y/N) knew that Izuku was behind all of it.

She first had a suspicion when she mentioned how freaked out she was by the fact that the letters in her lockers were sometimes stained with a suspicious red, ‘so that she’d have a piece of them with her’. Not a single stain was found on the letters she received after that.

After this, (Y/N) started noticing more suspicious behaviours from Izuku. For example, the time when she was texting with Izuku and had complained about her partner in a group project who simply wouldn’t do their part of the work no matter how much (Y/N) would beg her to do it. About 15 minutes after they’d spoken about it, Izuku said he had to go and turned his phone off. That same night she received a text at 2 AM from her partner, saying that she’d finished the entire assignment by herself and that she wouldn’t be able to go to school the next day because she broke her leg in a clumsy fall down the stairs.

By now, the evidence had amassed at an alarming rate. (Y/N) was pretty sure Izuku had been doing things behind the scenes to make her feel happy, most likely going as far as harming people. It was hard to believe that someone like Izuku was capable of this; the same Izuku who is so nervous to talk to people he doesn’t know and was upset for days when the plant in his room died. It made her feel uncomfortable, that someone would do these disturbing things because of her.

But on the other hand, it made her feel so powerful, too. It was riveting to think that someone would go that far just to bring a smile on her face and would harm anyone who made her sad. The situation almost made (Y/N) feel like a sacred princess, with Izuku as her protective knight.

And having someone who would do anything for you is quite useful, too.

There had been one person in particular, a girl who was on a horse so high, she could barely talk properly to (Y/N). (Y/N) couldn’t count the times that girl had rolled her eyes at her, made a snarky remark about her, or just flat-out ignored anything she said. At first, (Y/N) had brushed it off as them simply being incompatible; it happens sometimes and that’s okay. But with the realisation that Deku could take care of this little problem, her feelings changed.

That girl was starting to piss (Y/N) off.

One day, (Y/N) and Izuku were having lunch on the roof. They were sitting on a bench together and Izuku had been talking her ear off, but (Y/N) was absentmindedly chewing on her food, her back slumped. Izuku noticed how quiet she was, and carefully asked with a worried tone: “Hey (Y/N), are you okay? You’ve been kind of quiet today.”

(Y/N) sighed and played with her food a little, before asking very softly: “Why do people hate me?”

Izuku almost choked in his food when he heard that. Immediately he responded: “No, of course people don’t hate you! I’m sure everyone is very fond of you, you’re really nice, after all! Why would you even think something like that?” He paused a bit before asking: “Who made you feel like that?”

(Y/N) turned her head away from him slightly, as if she was hesitant to talk about it further. “I don’t know, it’s just… I don’t know.”

Izuku laid his hand on her shoulder and asked in a voice that was a bit lower than before. “Is that girl bothering you again?”

(Y/N) faced Izuku again, trying her best to look as sad as possible. “I try to be nice to her, but she just doesn’t want to be my friend. She makes remarks about me too, about how weird I am. It makes me feel so sad.”

As she spoke, her voice cracked, making Izuku visibly pained. When (Y/N) saw the corners of his mouth twitch, she knew she got him right where she wanted to. In a rather shaky voice, he said, almost to himself: “Is that so? So that’s why you’ve been sad?”

(Y/N) nodded meekly and pretended to wipe tears from under her eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be like this. I’m probably being annoying.”

Izuku quickly cupped (Y/N)’s cheeks in his hands to make her face him, much to (Y/N)’s surprise. As his eyes bore into hers, he said: “No, no, you’re not annoying. You’re never annoying. You’re (Y/N), an awesome person who’s nothing but kind to everyone around her. You’re so smart, and nice, and pretty, so you shouldn’t listen to what that bitch has to say, alright? She’s probably just jealous of you, so you don’t need to worry about her anymore. She’s not worth your precious time, and she’s definitely not worth getting sad about.”

Before (Y/N) could respond, Izuku had pulled her into a tight hug. His quick heartbeat and his hands gripping her back a little too tightly completely contradicted his calm and soothing voice. “Thank you for telling me, I had no clue what was making you feel like this. Don’t worry, she won’t be your problem for much longer.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder. As meekly as she could, she uttered a small ‘thank you’ and held him tighter. Izuku didn’t even know she was barely able to stop a grin from forming.

(Y/N) couldn’t wait to see what he would do to that girl.

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centrumlumina · 2 years

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I keep thinking about how time dilation works in video games.

The background here is that I’ve been musing about how I would make a particular game, which involves farming. This is unlikely to ever actually materialise but it’s an interesting thought experiment.

Video games do not run at real speed, because it would be very boring for everything to take as long as it does in real life. Over the course of one day in-game, characters will need to eat, work, rest, etc. without the player getting bored. Let’s say I want a game where 1 day - 24 hours of in game time - takes 15 minutes to play. That is a time dilation factor of 96 - every second of play represents about a minute and a half of in-game time. You might also want events which happen “weekly”, or every few days - something like a market day, or a church service.

Problem one comes with animation speed. For things to look “about right” the characters need to "walk” at about actual speed. Maybe they can travel at most three times as far per second as a real person could. But that’s per real world second. In actuality, they are moving at around 1/30 the speed a real person could walk, so it will take a lot longer for them to get anywhere! A five-minute walk across the village will occupy 2.5 hours of in-game time, eating up a significant chunk of their day.

This is a problem I’ve noticed in a lot of games, particularly The Sims and Cities Skylines, where travel times eat up huge chunks of in-game time because the in-game clock doesn’t match the animation speed. But if characters walked at actual in-game speed, they’d be whizzing around, traversing 144 metres in one real-world second - so fast that they’d be very hard for the player to see or select while moving. At that point, their travel between places might as well be instantaneous, not a part of the game at all.

Even more trouble comes in when you think of longer time scales. For a farming game, the cycle of the seasons is going to be important - planting in spring and harvesting in autumn in order to have enough food for the cold winter months. You want a length of “year” which is short enough for the player to feel the change, without being so quick that the seasons blend together. For instance, let’s say that every “day” also counts as a month. Over the course of 12 days - 3 hours of play - the full year will play out, with daylight hours getting longer and shorter, weather moving from cold to hot and back again.

However, this leads to our second problem: if the length of a harvest, on which the village relies to eat over the winter, is only one, perhaps two in-game days, then a minor distraction on that day could lead to disaster. If there is a random event like a fire, or even something as simple as the week’s church service happening to fall on that day, it could massively impact how many workers are available to harvest in a way that is completely disproportionate to the effect a one-day distraction would have in a real-world, month-long harvest season.

And what about longer time scales? It would be great if the player could watch children born in the village grow to adulthood, but to play 20 “years” at our current rate would be 60 hours. Perhaps we add another layer of time compression - every day, all the characters age by 6 months, so a child will be full-grown in about 5 play-hours. But this could have its own problems - if women can get pregnant again every 3 months (because their last child is now an 18-month toddler) they could easily have 2-3 children between harvests, massively increasing the village’s food requirements far faster than the player would be able to increase yields.

Nearly every layer of time compression has the potential to interact strangely with the other layers, and it’s clearly something that takes a lot of tuning to work out the kinks on. I’d be interested if anyone else has any thoughts on this!

#random #video games

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thelittleboyfromloveactually · 3 years

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Worth it

Jj maybank x reader

Promt: 1. “Don’t touch me!” And 7. “I can’t see you get hurt!”

Promt list (angst)

Warnings: physical abuse, blood and injuries, yelling, angst, cussing (these topics can be triggering to some!!!!!!)

Word count: 1837

@dylansslutt I hope this is what you wanted!!! Thank you so much for requesting! I really enjoyed wrighting this and I hope it’s a fun read! Requests are still open! Love ya!

6 years ago I moved from New York City to outer banks, North Carolina. I was the weird new girl from the big city. My family wasn’t rich, not even close. Infact money was the reason we moved here. My dad lost his job because of an alcohol problem and my mom was a police officer. We couldn’t afford to live off just her mortgage, so when my mom got a job offer here in obx we couldn’t turn it down. Here it was cheaper, there was a school for me to go and my mom grew up here so she had some friends. But me, I had no friends, not one. That was until my second week at school, this little blond boy, jj maybank came up to me. We were ten at the time, him and his friends were going to go to the beach later and he said I could come. Because I didn’t have any other friends I wasn’t in any place to turn down this offer. Ever sense then jj and I have been best friends. I didn’t know jj the best out of everyone but I guess that intrigued me. Last year my parents went through a divorce, my dad was losing it, his addiction was getting worse and worse. My mom moved us out leaving my dad with 10,000 dollars to get help. It was hard, even though he was an alcoholic he was still my dad. Jj was there for me the whole time, became closer than ever. Jj knows everything about me, my past, my home life, my favorite ice cream flavor, my favorite place everything. I know as much as I can about jj, I know that his dad beats him, he spends a lot of nights on my couch, I know that he plans to drop out of school and travel and surf. He’s my best friend but the problem is, ever sense that day that he came up to me, I’ve had a crush on him. He didn’t like me that way though and even if he did, “no pogue on pogue macking”.

Today is my 17 birthday, and here that means only one thing, a keger, a big ass keger. I love parties but there’s always trouble at *these* parties. I would prefer to just get drunk and hang out at John b.s place. So I’ve spent the entire morning trying to talk them out of it.

“I swear to god kie!” I yelled

“Don’t even try Y/N!” She said

“Come on you love parties!” John b added

“No, I love small parties, remember the last time we had a keger?! Ya know you almost *drowned*!!!” I said

“It is her birthday guys” Sarah said, Sarah my by best girl friend, I haven’t known her for long but we immediately bonded.

“Oh come on!” Said John b

“Fine, Sarah is right it’s Y/Ns choice” kie said

John b sighed “fine, I’ll call and tell jj”

A few mins later John b hung up the phone

“Alright jj said he’ll be here around 4:00, he says happy birthday, he’s sorry he is not here” John b said

4:30

“Here should have been here 30 minutes ago” John b said

Everyone was laying around John Bs living room, sweating their asses off. We had been waiting for jj, he wasn’t answering his phone. Normally we would just leave it alone but jj never missed my birthday.

“Should we try calling again?” Sarah asked

“We’ve called 15 times, and I texted him” I said shaking my head

It was silent

“I’m going” I said as I stood up

“No the fuck your not!” John b said standing up and blocking my way to the door

“Yes I am! He could be hurt!” I said trying to move John be out of the way

“Y/N you know what he said!” John b said

Yes I did know, the pogues had a list of rules, but jj also had his own

Never go to JJs house

Never under any circumstance break rule number one

“I don’t give a fuck about what he said!” I yelled, when your mom is a cop you pick up on some self defense. John b was in my way, and i would never hurt him…..but jj may be hurt, I had seen first hand what his dad could do. I ducked down and swiped John Bs legs making him fall.

“Wtf Y/N?!” Kie said

“Sorry guys” I said as I ran toward the door. I pushed it opened and ran to my car. Kie and Sarah came running after me yelling my name. I ignored it and started toward JJs house.

About 5 minutes later I pulled into the driveway. Well the kinda driveway, it was more like a clearing with rubble and weeds. There was a car there, jjs dad's car. My stomach dropped at the sight. I took a deep breath

“It’s gonna be fine” I said as a opened my car door and stepped out

I walked up to his front door, my hand was shaking as I went to knock. Why was my hand shaking? It was gonna be fine, right? I knocked, but JJ didn't open the door, his dad did. He looked drunk, he had a cigarette in his mouth, he was dirty and he had an old cut on his face. This was a bad idea, jj may not even be here.

“Uh um hi s-sir” I Stuttered on my words

“Who are ya?” He said look around me

“Um I I’m Y/N, jjs friend, is he here?” I said looking into the house

“Ah you're his little slut girlfriend, ya here to break up with him? Not surprised” he said stepping closer to me

I stepped back, I could defend myself against him if I needed to, I reminded myself, “actually no sir, I’m just his friend, is jj here?”

“Ya he’s here, what do you want with him?”

“Where is he?” I ignored his question

“How about you come with me little lady and I’ll buy you a drink?” He said and grabbed my hand

I ripped my hand out of his and punched him in the face

“You little bitch” he yelled holding his now bleeding cheek, he swung his arm again to punch me. He hit me right in the eye.

Then suddenly he came at me and I dodged him and pushed him past me. He was definitely drunk. I ran inside and closed the door, my hands were shaking even more, I tried to lock it and luckily I was able to. Then I heard a car start in the driveway, the car sounded older. Not mine, but jjs dads. I let out a breath of relief and turned around to look at the house. The coffee table was filled with beer bottles, there was glass on the floor and a broken picture frame. I needed to find jj.

“JJ!!! JJ!!!” I yelled his name, I could hear the crack in my voice when I yelled.

I made my way through the small, dirty house and to his room. The door was locked

“Jj?! Please open the door!” I said as I rocked on the door

I was about to say something again but the door swung open

“What do you want?!” Jj yelled as he slammed the door frame

I jumped, almost tripping over myself. Jjs face was bruised and bloody. He was shirtless, his chest was covered in bruises. I looked up at him, I was confused. I saw his face soften when he saw me, he looked surprised, then he got angry again.

“Y/N?! What the hell are you doing here?!” He said stepping closer to me

I was at a loss of words, I was already shaky but when Jj yelled it set me off.

“I um I-I” I started but was cut off by jj

“Fuck Y/N, did he do this to you?!” Jj yelled

“Jj please stop ye-“

“That son of a bitch! I swear to fucking god” he began walking out of the hallway toward the door

I stood up “JJ STOP!” I yelled grabbing his arm

“Don’t touch me! Why can you fucking listen Y/N?! I told you to stay away! And what did you do?! You didn’t! You didn’t fucking stay away! And now” he paused calming down and catching his breath “now you are hurt, and it’s my fucking fault! I swear I’m going to kill him” he said moving his hand over his lips and looking down

“What did you expect me to do Jj?” I was trying to stay calm “you didn’t show up and that scared me, I came to make sure you were ok, and obviously you aren’t, I can’t sit my and watch you come to school with black eyes and bloody lips”

“Fuck you Y/N! You had one job!”

Fuck being calm “you know what Jj I came because I care and because I am your fucking friend ok?! It’s ok to let people care about you! It’s ok *to* care! You don’t need to push everyone away!” I yelled back at him

“I do care Y/N! That’s why I don’t want you here! I can’t see you get hurt!!!” He yelled grabbing my hand

“Well, I’m completely fine so” I said taking my hand out of his and crossing my arms across my chest

“Your not fine”

“I am!”

“Nope”

“Yes! Yes I am, and why tf is it so important to you that I’m hurt, you get hurt, so does John b, and Kie, and rafe, but he definitely deserves that-“ I was cut off from my blabbing

“Y/N I care because I love you alright?! Calm down” he said

“W-what?”

“I’-I’m” he started moving his head as if he was trying to think of what to say, I looked at him, studying his features, then I decided I was going to kiss him, ya ya I was going to kiss him. And I did, my lips met his in one quick movement. He seemed surprised at first but then his lips moved into mine. It was a passionate, needed kiss, but amazing never the less. His tongue moved, asking permission that was granted.

We broke the kiss both trying to catch our breath

“Wait Y/N-“ je started

“I love you too jj, I have forever” I said smiling

“But what about the rules and stuff, I mean I don’t follow rules like ever but” he was cute when he was confused, I began giggling at his attemp

“What? what is so funny?” He asked

“You are adorable,” I said kissing him again

It’s funny, I never thought that I would be here, kissing jj fucking maybank. We we’re definitely gonna get some crap from the rest of the pogues but it was definitely worth it.

#jj maybank obx #jj maybank #jj mayback x reader

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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Amoreena | Chapter ten

chapter ten

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: immense amounts of fluff, discussion of bad dreams death and past trauma at the end all related to canon

word count: 5.3K

from the beginning <3

Dreaming wasn’t something that came easily to Spencer. When he did dream they never made any sense, dark and twisting basements, endless staircases, treading a deep dark sea for hours as the waves swallowed him whole. Wind chimes that he couldn’t find wouldn’t stop twinkling as he aimlessly ran around a trailer park. It was never peaceful.

Then his mind found the park and couldn’t stop re-creating it, over and over again in his mind every single night when he closed his eyes.

He was in the middle of the most perfect dreamscape, his girls reading under the sun as Y/N’s head rested on his shoulder…

Then his phone started to ring, opening his eyes to the sun barely waking up as well. He answered the phone before Y/N could wake up beside him, “hello?”

“Spence, I’m so sorry to wake you,” JJ’s voice slipped into his mind and woke up right up, she wouldn’t call unless she needed to. “We have a really bad case, we have to leave like right now and the babysitter can’t take the boys and Henry is still too little to make sure Michael eats during the day and he’s still so little—“

“Hey it’s fine,” he cut her off as he sat up, waking Y/N in the process. “I’m only 12 minutes from Quantico, leave them with Anderson and I’ll be right over.”

“Thank you so much, Spence, oh and they need breakfast, I’ll leave some money with Henry, can you make sure they eat?”

“Absolutely, don’t worry, good luck and be safe,” he reminded her, feeling weird that he didn’t have to go as well.

“Thanks again Spence,” he could hear her smile before hanging up, leaving him to stretch and finally get out of the bed.

“Was that JJ?” Y/N asks, getting out of bed and putting on her housecoat to follow him to the bathroom.

“Yeah, the boys need someone to watch them if you don’t mind?”

“They’re family,” she reminded him with a sleepy smile.

“They need lunches for today, I can drive Amoreena to school with them too?” He’s splashing water on his face so he can wake up enough to drive safely to Quantico, wiping the water from his eyes as he hears Y/N laughing softly.

“It’s Saturday silly, and Monday is their last day anyway if they need to stay that long,” Y/N reminds him, “I’ll try and have breakfast ready when you get back.”

“Tomorrows the 14th, shit,” he remembers his calendar. “I have to take my mom to get her yearly scan and cognitive test done tomorrow morning, I won't be able to send her off on her last day.”

“That’s okay, as long as you’re there for the little graduation and the all about me display ceremony it’ll be fine, it starts at 1:30,” she didn’t mind him missing it but everything in him felt like the worst person ever if he did.

He never wanted to miss anything ever again.

“You’re sure that’s fine?”

She nodded again, wrapping her arms around him and looking up into his beautiful, tired eyes. “Family comes first, that means Diana was in the calendar longer so you go with her. Amoreena just wants to come home with you from school, for the next 10 years of school she’ll be coming home to you.”

“Why don’t we wake Amoreena and go get breakfast with the boys? I’d like to get to know my god kids too…” her voice cooing as she soothed his morning anxiety, blessing him with more time with her, he nodded.

“You go get the boys and come back and pick us up, I’m sure she’ll take a few minutes to contemplate feeding chickens or breakfast,” Y/N smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek softly.

She pulled away but he pulled her right back in, pressing his lips right against hers again and again until they were both laughing, teeth bumping into each other in their early morning delirium. She finally pulled away from his grasp, rushing to the bedroom door so he couldn’t follow her.

“Go get the boys!”

He fake huffed, “fine!”

Slipping into his jeans and a sweater, placing her grandpa’s hat back on his head once more. He made sure he had his wallet and identification, the guards knew him it’s not like he wouldn’t be allowed into the building with a visitors pass.

And then he was out the door and driving down the road. Pulling into Quantico with a strange feeling in his gut, he didn’t realize how much he hated it here until he didn’t need to be there all the time. He was granted a visitors pass, parking in the garage and taking the elevator right up to the BAU.

He walked into the briefing room to find Henry on his phone and Michael sound asleep again on the couch.

“Hey, uncle Spencer!” Henry cheered, not waking Michael in the process somehow.

“Hey buddy,” he said, scooping the now 13-year-old Henry into his arms for a quick hug. He was still cuddly and sensitive and quiet, much like Spencer at that same age.

It was almost like JJ picked him as the godfather knowing he would need him. Choosing to text or call Spencer about cute girls and chess games and new star wars movies, instead of going to his dad for chats about football and beer… or whatever Will was into. Spencer really didn’t give him a chance to get to know him over the last 15 years, harbouring a hatred for him that he didn’t really understand until he met Y/N.

Now will was the jealous one in a sense, wondering what he could do to get his own son to come to him for advice and support. But he understood it, Henry was exactly like Spencer and he needed to see that being awkward and quiet doesn’t last forever.

“So, I’m not sure if your mom and dad told you, but I got married and my wife has a daughter and we’re going to take you boys out to breakfast, okay?”

“She said you’re Nini’s dad, like for real?” Once again someone from the LaMontagne called Amoreena Nini and he had no idea why.

“I donated sperm when your mom got pregnant with you, I didn’t think I’d get to have a family,” he was honest with him. He was old enough to know how it worked and mature enough to hear the word sperm without freaking out.

“Cool, Nini and Mike are normally friends.”

“Why do you guys call her Nini?”

“Michael couldn’t say Amoreena when he was 4 so he called her Nini, and then Dad would call her that when he teased Mike about his crush on her,” it made complete sense for a kid to not be able to pronounce it.

But his brain got stuck on the crush part, turning to Michael who was still sound asleep with his face pressed into his backpack, drooling slightly. JJ’s kid had a crush on his, a weird fantasy he had coming true where he and JJ can be friends forever as in-laws.

It was too bad Amoreena really didn’t like boys, not even in the 8-year-old ‘ew cooties’ way either. She was raised around women and she was comfortable with them, and she had no problem punching Michael in the face if he ever pissed her off. It was going to be interesting seeing them interact today.

“Okay, well let’s get your things and bring them back to our house and then we’ll go get breakfast with my girls,” Spencer smiled, seeing Henry’s face light up at the day he gets to spend with Spencer. “You’re going to love Y/N.”

And he did… walking into Spencer’s new house to drop off his backpack, dropping his jaw when he saw Y/N instead. He was so much like Spencer it made him laugh, patting Henry on the shoulder, “I know,” he teased him.

Henry turned to him with wide eyes, “I’ve never met Nini’s mom, that’s her mom?” He whispered that same anxious boy Spencer used to be staring right back at him.

He nodded with a smile, “yeah, she’s really nice don’t worry.”

“Henry! It’s so nice to meet you,” she says as she walks into the main room.

Henry turns around to see her when she’s pulling him into a big hug, Spencer can see his eyes are closed as he takes a moment to hug a pretty girl. Spencer couldn’t help but bite his tongue, not wanting to laugh and embarrass the poor boy now that he was noticing pretty girls. Even if that girl happened to be his wife, it was inevitable for Henry to crush on one of Spencer’s girlfriends with how much he copied him.

She pulled back softly, Henry’s arms still around her waist, she brushed his beautiful blond hair behind his ears. “You look so much like your mom, you’re so handsome!”

Henry forgot how to breathe, trying to stutter out a thank you as he backed up out of her space and turned to Spencer, “he’s always looked like JJ, you should have seen how tiny he was originally,” Spencer jumped in to save him. “Where is Amoreena?”

“She’s trying to pick between 2 different dresses, I’ll go make sure she’s in one by now,” she smiled at them before leaving the room, heading up the stairs to Amoreena’s room.

“You good?” Spencer nudged Henry, laughing lightly. “She’s your aunt now, she’s not going to think you’re a dork so you can calm down around her, I promise.”

Henry released a deep shaky breath, “you’re right, sorry.”

“It’s fine, I was like that around your mom before you were born, you should have seen me,” he tried to sympathize with the boy, only making a disgusted face arise on him.

“Ew, that’s completely different she’s my mom!”

Spencer wrapped his arm around him, “and Y/N is my wife!” He whispered as loud as he could so that it wouldn’t be heard by her.

Henry sighed, “and she’s like what 50?”

“35,” Spencer looked at him and laughed as he shook his head, “how old do you think I am?”

“Mentally? 6-years-old,” Henry bullied him right back for all the brotherly teasing, “but physically you look 79.”

“Thanks,” Spencer said, tucking the boy under his arm and messing up his hair, “now you look like a dork.”

He loved Henry more than he could express, unlike Amoreena he knew he wasn’t his kid, it wasn’t fatherly at all. Henry was his best friend's kid, his godson and his little brother, and as he got older he was becoming more of a best friend than he thought he would.

—

After breakfast when everyone was awake and happily full, Y/N took them all into town to visit the farmer’s market. Letting the kids look around and see if there was anything they wanted to all make for dinner, she was the best mom and aunt in the whole wide world and Spencer kept falling more and more in love every second he spent with her.

She was glowing in the sunlight, walking through the booths looking at all the fresh vegetables and fruit, Spencer followed her with Michael’s hand in his and Henry not far behind. Amoreena was off talking to her favourite vendor, an older woman who reminded her of her great-grandma, it was sweet.

Spencer thought about how their future would be much of the same, Y/N and him with a couple of kids while the rest of them did their own thing. He couldn’t wait to see all the little faces they’d create together, to get to know all the personalities and raise them into being just as wonderful as their sister and cousins.

“Ugh,” Y/N stopped dead in her tracks then, they were heading towards the butcher’s booth when she turned around, almost green as she reacted to the smell. “Nope, not going down there.”

Spencer couldn’t stop smiling at her as she tried to not throw up in the middle of the market, people watching her dry heave as she walked away. Spencer knew JJ was pregnant with Michael before she even told Will because she was the exact same way very early on. Living on ginger ale and baby cookies to stay sane, Y/N was going to need that hack.

He didn’t say anything, just profiling her in his mind as he followed her again.

Henry and Michael used the money JJ left them to buy some homemade candies from the market, Y/N picked up some donuts to bring home to her parents, and Amoreena only wanted fresh strawberries. Spencer however snuck away from the group really quickly to get something they passed earlier, something he wanted to get for Amoreena.

There was a vendor with homemade shirts and dresses, knitted hats and all sorts of collectables. If he was going to miss her last morning before kindergarten, he wanted to get her something to wear that morning so he’d be there in spirit.

There was a beautiful handmade purple dress hanging on the wall behind the vendor, the same kind old woman that reminded Amoreena of her GG. “Hello, how can I help you today?”

“We haven’t met, but I’m Amoreena’s father,” he introduced himself with a smile, and the old woman face beamed.

“Yes you are,” she smiled. “She has your nose, it’s lovely to finally meet you!”

“you too, um, I was interested in that purple dress,” he points behind her, “it looks like the one from tangled, I’m sure she’d love it.”

“that’s exactly how she described it when she saw it today,” the woman explains as she takes it down from the wall for him. “It’s $35, but I’ll do $20 for my favourite little friend.”

“That’s very kind, but I don’t mind,” he says, taking $35 dollars out of his wallet and laying it beside the cash box. “Thank you for always making my girl smile.”

“Thank you,” she smiled again, folding the dress nicely and placing it in a white bag, “would you like some tissue paper so she can’t see what it is?”

“That would be great, thank you,” Spencer smiled too, incredibly happy that this was his life now.

She handed him the bag then, stuffed to the brim with purple and pink paper, Amoreena was going to love it. He said his goodbyes and met the rest of his family at the car, hiding the present between his legs in the passenger seat as they drove home.

—

Henry and Michael did end up having to stay the night, switching into their PJs after dinner and joining them all in the living room for a movie night. They let the kids stay up later to watch the whole movie, watching Michael fall asleep once again on the carpet, he had been so well behaved all day it was like he was afraid of Amoreena now.

Michael was perfectly happy sleeping on the couch all night, Henry, on the other hand, slept in Y/N’s old room to have some privacy and so he could sleep in on Sunday.

By the time JJ and Will got home on Sunday night, Y/N and Spencer were just putting some burgers on the grill, they had enough for the whole team and so sure enough, the crew made a short trip from Quantico to Heaven.

Matt called his wife, she drove their handful of children over, Luke of course let Penelope know, the two of them still happily seeing each other now that she wasn’t on the team, it was cute to see them together. Then Penelope, of course, invited Derek and Hank. Emily, Rossi and Tara coming along just to witness Spencer being happy.

It was the best summer party they’ve ever had. Bob and Linda were beyond excited to have so many new faces in their yard, throwing on 2 more packages of burgers, feeding a whole army like normal.

The kids were all running around together in the field, playing with the cats and the goats, rolling down the big hill towards the cows, chasing fireflies as the sunset.

It was all of their last day of school on Monday, a weird day to end on but they were excited nonetheless. Y/N’s father lit up a bonfire in celebration, setting up every lawn chair and log they had to make sure everyone had a seat, they all gathered with marshmallows on sticks and drinks in their hands, smiles on their faces and love in their hearts.

Spencer made a happy life for himself that he was no sharing with them, and they call understood perfectly why he chose this one. It was peaceful, perfect and the most loving environment he’s ever been in. They were beyond proud of him.

“This place is amazing,” Tara leaned towards Spencer, “your family is wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled at her, raising his voice then as he looked at the rest of the team, “I just want to thank all of you actually, you’re all my family and it’s been so surreal introducing you all, I’ve never been happier.”

He was swarmed with hugs then, everyone also using it as their queue to gather their kids and hit the road. They watched everyone get in their cars one by one, Penelope did everything in her power not to leave with at least 3 cats, Matts's kids asked if they could come back, often, with Y/N reminding everyone that the gates are always open.

It was everything he ever wanted.

Amoreena jumped into his arms then, he held her against his side as they both waved at everyone, saying goodbye to all her new aunts and uncles and cousins. Her family kept getting bigger and bigger by the day and she was so incredibly happy about it. She’d take in a million more family members if they let her, her heart didn’t have a capacity level for love.

He carried her up the porch stairs then, bringing her into the kitchen where the white bag with purple tissue paper was waiting for her. Her eyes lit up as she saw it, “is that for me?”

“You bet it is,” he enthused, “I’m not going to be here in the morning, grandma Diana has a doctor's appointment, so I got you something for tomorrow morning.”

He set her down on the floor, handing her the bag and watching her carefully remove all the tissue paper. She laid it on the table softly to keep it for later, saying it was good to make barbie dresses with. When she finally saw the dress her jaw dropped.

Y/N was there too now, watching in awe as he surprised both of them.

“Did you buy this from Candace?” She asks softly as she takes it out of the bag. Holding it to her chest as she twirls around lightly.

“I did, I thought you’d like to have something to remind you of me there, I’m sorry I’m going to miss sending you to the bus on your last day,” he tried not to cry as he crouched down to her level, taking her into his arms and giving her a soft hug.

“That’s okay, you’re always in here,” she took his pointer finger in her hand and poked her own chest with it, “I love you, dad.”

“I love you more, Amoreena,” he smiled through the tears, scrunching his nose so they wouldn’t roll down his cheeks, giving her another hug before Y/N started her bedtime routine.

—

For the past two weeks, his dreams have been filled with lush fields of green draped in the most beautiful golden glow. Both his girls sitting beside him as they read, each of them has a book and it’s silent. It’s serene, the dictionary definition of peace.

However, it took him a while to fall asleep tonight, he was too anxious for Amoreena’s last day of kindergarten in the morning and the fact he wouldn’t be there for the drop-off.

Y/N was sound asleep on the pillow beside him as he stared at her, for what felt like hours, brushing her hair off her face lightly and making sure the blankets were still covering her. His eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room just enough that he could see her face twitch into a smile as she fell deeper into her slumber.

Seeing her happy relaxed him enough to follow her. Blinking into his dream realm and finding a few new faces waiting for him by the tree…

“Dad!” Another little girl he’s never seen before was running towards him, wrapping herself around him as he held her.

Suddenly, 7 other children he doesn’t know are surrounding him in hugs, tacking him to the ground in a fit of giggles and tickles, “we missed you! Why were you gone for so long?”

He’s so confused, he knows he’s dreaming but he chooses to stay, to wander the world and ask the questions his mind was so obviously trying to answer. “I’m sorry,” is all he can reply, taking Amoreena’s hand and following her towards Y/N as she sat on the picnic blanket.

She was older, which meant he should be too, looking in the pond quickly for his reflection to see’s his wrinkled face, the white in his hair and beard. Their kids had all grown up but where was he for it?

“Welcome home,” she smiled as he sat down. “it’s about time you met the girls.”

“Where was I?”

“You don’t remember?”

He shakes his head, “I was supposed to be here.”

“Amoreena got into Yale, did you hear that, cutie? Elly, Junie and Theo are in high school now, look how beautiful they are…”

He watched his children frolic in the field, running around without a care in the world that he missed everything. Why did he miss everything? How could he miss everything?

“It’s too bad you missed Cordelia and the other twins, can you believe we had 3 sets of twins, Spence?” She laughed like it was funny, “how could you leave me alone with 9 babies?” Still smiling, staring into his soul as he died a little inside.

He started to panic then, breathing heavily as he tried to remember where he was to miss everything, “I was supposed to be there for them!?”

Suddenly he’s ripped awake by Y/N shaking him and pulling him against her skin, “hey, shhh, it’s okay.”

He was crying and shaking in his sleep, sweating as he tried to fight off the dream, his anxiety in full swing for absolutely no reason, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for leaving you.”

“You didn’t go anywhere, Spencer, you’ve been there the whole time,” she reminded him, rubbing her hand over his back as he settled into her arms. “You were mumbling and then yelling.”

“I got to the park and you told me I missed all of them growing up,” he whispered the painful words into the open, freeing them from his mind and letting them exist somewhere else.

“Them?” She coo’s, holding his head against her chest as she rests her cheek against it, holding him as close as humanly possible.

“We had like 9 girls, they were all so beautiful as you and Amoreena, they all had my nose and your lips and the curliest blowing hair in the whole world, and I missed everything, again,”

“I won't let that happen, do you have any handcuffs leftover? Because I can keep you here for good?” She teased him in a hushed whisper, playful and happy to prove that he was fine, they were fine.

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” he whispered again shimmying down lower to lay his head on her lower stomach, kissing her stomach softly. “I’m not leaving you all, never.”

“I had a bad dream too, that’s what woke me up first,” she replies softly. “Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of Stephen’s death, and the first time I never visited him.”

Spencer felt the need to sit up then, making eye contact with her to see her true feelings. “I don’t want you to stop loving him because you also love me. He’s special to you, you should go see him soon.”

“Spencer,” she smiles at the concern in his voice, “I will, I only didn’t because I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant, I was bleeding a little yesterday and then it stopped, that probably means the implantation worked and I don’t want to tell him yet. And I tell him everything.”

“Everything?” He asks in a way that she hears; “even about me?” inside his thoughts.

She nods softly, “I went on that first Monday after I dropped you off at your apartment, I needed him to know I was finally ready and I thanked him for sending you to me.”

“What was he like?”

“He was from Boston, accent and everything,” she smiled with sad eyes as she recalled him to her mind. “He was in theatre school, I met him in the summer at a music festival in Chicago, he was playing guitar and we had too many beers and I lost my virginity to him in a tent in some field.”

She recalled it like it was a fond memory, missing him but not enough to be sad about it now. “I ran into him again when I went to college in Boston and we were talking outside before the rain hit, like one of those classic movie scenes, and my apartment was closer, the rest is history.”

“Hey Stephen is the one song you always skip, I never wanted to ask why but I don’t think you’ll mind telling me?” He wonders out loud, still a little delirious from the lack of sleep.

“He looked like an angel when I first saw him, he was standing under a street light reading his music sheets and the light was glowing perfectly, it was amazing I wish I had a picture of it. But then the Fearless album came out for the first time and it was my favourite song because it was like she wrote it for us. He was my perfect angel, my superstar, he was going to be on Broadway one day and we were going to move to a cottage in England, we had lots of plans and that song just makes me think of the life me and him must be living in the universe where it all worked out.”

It’s long-winded and she doesn’t seem to be over-emotional by the end, in a shocking turn of event’s it seems like she feels freer after getting it off her chest.

“I haven’t always been this happy and cheerful Spencer,” she adds, “I had a really dark spot after he died, it was horrible for me. I was so angry, I was reckless and mean and hurtful, and in that time I wasted precious moments I could have spent being happy with my grandma, and so my dream tonight was just the fight I had with Evan and my grandma dying and the cops saying Stephen was dead and placing that stupid fucking flower on his coffin thinking it made up for the fact I couldn’t even look at him in there.”

“How you respond to trauma isn’t really up to you, that’s why it’s trauma. Your brain can’t really cope and so it does typically the stuff you’ll regret the most in that time of grief, it’s not your fault and I’m sure everyone understood. You had every right to be mad, hell, I’m mad you lost him because I know how much you hurt in silence for so long,” Spencer can’t help but wish he could have been there for her.

“What happened to you after Maeve died?”

It was only fair that he shared too, “I locked myself in my apartment and didn’t take care of myself, I didn’t talk to anyone, I just sat in my living room and almost died reading every book I had because I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being taken care of so if I starved to death, so be it.”

“You still haven’t told me what happened with her and the kidnapping,” she reminds him of their little chat a few weeks ago at the school. “I get it if you’re not ready, I’m sure it’s a lot.”

“I was getting headaches, really bad ones, and so I reached out to a geneticist to see if she could help me. I sent her my brain scans and some blood tests and she helped me find supplements and natural ways to help my body rest from the stress of my work,” he explained it easily like the feelings didn’t hurt anymore.

“We talked on the phone a lot and I finally asked her why she was so afraid to meet me or have me know anything about her. She had me call her from a payphone, always a different one each time, I was to call and let it ring once, then hang up then she’d call me back. She thought she had a stalker, she was getting weird messages and threats and she felt genuinely unsafe, and she had every right to,”

“10 months went by and we thought she was safe, but her ex-fiancé got a private investigator to find her and in return found me instead. It turns out that Maeve had a student who felt wronged by her and wanted to outdo her, so she dated her fiancé and scared her underground but then she wanted me.”

Y/N’s face is full of concern like she’s listening to a true-crime thriller where she knows the ending won't be good.

“I tried to talk her stalker down, I almost had her and then she kissed me and I keep looking at Maeve, she saw right through me. She threatened to kill Maeve, she had a gun to her head but at the last minute she killed herself, but Maeve’s head was too close to hers,” the words hurt on the way out.

“And someone also had you sent to prison?” She asks, wanting all the trauma in one night to save him the trouble.

“Yeah, she was an assassin, I tricked her into thinking I found her dad and I was so smart she thought I was her soulmate, it was all an elaborate plan to bring me down to her level.”

“Did you kill someone?”

“I’ve killed too many people,” he answers with complete honesty once again. “I’ve killed mostly murderers and rapists, I typically don’t have to. I really try not to, but I’ve also killed people to keep myself safe. And I’d probably kill someone to keep you or Amoreena safe too.”

“Get in line,” she laughs, able to make every single conversation easy even when they shouldn’t be.

“I uh,” he wants to tell her more but he doesn’t know-how. “I was also sexually assaulted in prison, and I was kidnapped and drugged in 2007, I OD’d and died but then I was resuscitated, I wasn’t kidding when I said it was a lot.”

“I am so sorry Spencer,” she rests her hands on his cheeks, looking into his eyes as best as she could in the dark, still seeing the goodness in there. “You’re safe here with me, forever and always, I can promise you that.”

“Thank you,” he’s never going to stop thanking her.

Settling down on the bed once more, he cuddles back into her side. She brushes his hair behind his ear softly, humming a soft melody as she soothes him back to sleep. He snuggled right against her, holding her gently as he fell back to sleep on her, dreamless as she was everything he needed.

love you all for all the support thank you x100 <3

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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wannabe-fic-writer · 4 years

Text

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Priority

Summary: Your wife keeps letting you down and as much as you love her, you’re sick of it.

Warning: Bit of Angst

Word Count: 1,975

*******

She‘s late, again, and from the looks of time she won’t make it at all. She’d left you to do this alone, again. Not that you’re surprised.

The loud sound of metal smacking against compact rubber pulls you from your thoughts.

Looking up, a smile lights across your face as your son drops his bat and takes off. The other little boys scramble to get the ball to the plates but he’s extremely quick. He’s stepping over the home plate in no time.

You rise to your feet, clapping and cheering for him. It grabs his attention and he smiles and waves excitedly at you. Only to deflate instantly at the empty space beside you.

She promised him she’d be here and she let you down again. More importantly she let him down.

Like most things, the game comes to an end. It’s Little Leagues Tee Ball so they aren’t big on “winners” and “losers” but your son’s team won.

Damien excitedly runs up to you, Nathaniel not too far behind him.

“Momma did you see how fast I ran?” He bounces up and down.

With a wide smile, you scoop him up into your arms,“ you were so fast sweetie.”

Clint walks up, Damien’s and Nathaniel’s bags on his shoulders.

“What about me? Did I run fast Auntie Y/N?” Nathaniel asks, holding on to Laura’s hand tightly.

You turn your smile to your nephew,“ of course you did. You two are gonna give the Yankees a run for their money.”

“I think you guy’s big win deserves ice cream.”

The boys cheer, Lila and Cooper smiling in agreement.

All of you head to the cars, the Barton’s get in Laura’s van while you and Damien get in your truck.

Riding over to the closest ice cream shop is only a couple of minutes. Clint says it’s his treat and pays after everyone chooses their ice cream.

You all walk across the street to the park, sitting at a picnic table as you eat your ice cream.

Conversations flow between the group, Nathaniel and Damien talking about Tee Ball, Clint and Lila talk about archery, Cooper plays on his switch, and you and Laura talk about your kids.

The second Clint and the kids finish they run off to play on the playscape and the conversation turns to your partners, but you don’t contribute much.

Laura, knowing why you’re detached from this particular topic, places a comforting hand over yours,“ I know how frustrating it can be not having her around often.”

“I would completely understand if it couldn’t be helped but,” You sigh and shake your head,“ at this point it’s like she’s choosing not to be here for him.”

“Just give her some time.”

Uncontrollably a scoff falls from your lips,“ time? He’s five. And it’s not like I made this decision on my own. We both wanted kids, I didn’t just pop up pregnant one day and expect her to accept it.”

Laura nods along.

“And the excuses.” You roll your eyes,“ Damien buys it because he’s a child and he trusts his mom but, she turns around and tries to pull it on me like I can’t see through her crap.”

Your friends listens intently to your ranting. Waiting a few minutes after you’re done before replying.

“I can’t say I completely understand because with Clint, even though he was invested to his job, kind of snapped into his role as a father. We knew he was devoted to us despite the days and months he spent away.”

Narrowed e/c eyes respond to her words,“ is this supposed to make me feel better?”

She chuckles, shaking her head,“ yes and no. My point is that Clint and Natasha are different. Clint lost his parents when he was young but before that his mom gave him the love and care a child should have, despite his father’s actions.”

You nod, knowing what she’s talking about. Clint had opened up to you years after you were assigned as his partner at S.H.I.E.L.D. You were very open with him from the beginning, even about the horrible relationship you had with your homophobic parents.

In the end your honesty with him is what lead him to trust you and open up about his father’s addiction to alcohol and his abuse towards Clint.

From then on the two of you were very close. Going from two to three when you both brought Natasha in.

Laura continues explaining,“ it’s no secret that Natasha didn’t have that. I only know bits and pieces and that alone tells me that this, a marriage, a family, it’s probably very difficult for her.”

You know she’s right. Natasha’s had a rough bringing up and you don’t doubt that that’s affected her but that doesn’t change the fact that she made a promise to you and ultimately this family to be there for you and she’s breaking that promise.

As the sun starts to set you all decide to leave the park, stopping to get pizza and then going your separate ways to home.

Opening the door to your home you find Natasha sitting in the living room.

Damien runs over to her, happy to see her and asking where she was. As usual she tells him she was on a mission and that alone draws the boys childish curiosity and inquisitiveness into.

Not wanting to hear this, you set the pizza down on the coffee table and walk away.

It’s a while before she follows in after you, mentioning that he fell asleep and she put him to bed.

“A mission, huh?” You say after a moment.“ How many times are you going to use that excuse with him Natasha? He doesn’t get it now but eventually he’ll know you’re lying to him.”

Your wife shakes her head,“ I’m not lying, I was on a mission.”

��Eh wrong! Try again.”

Green eyes roll when you make the sound,“ I really was on a mission and I just got back.”

“Maybe you’re forgetting I work there too. Steve told me you’d finished the mission late last night and was just at the compound. So save the lie I’m genuinely not interested.”

Natasha’s body slumps, defeat and regret twisting around her bones and filling her with guilt.

“Y/N, I’m sorry okay I just-“

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. It was Damien hopping you’d show up. He searched the stands for you when he didn’t see you with me.”

The guilt multiplied as well as the hurt. She didn’t miss the implication of your words: you’d started to give up on her, you didn’t expect her to be there today.

You run a hand through your hair,“ just go make things right with our son.”

With that you go to your room and collapse on the bed. Taking a deep breath, you quickly change into your pajamas, and go straight to sleep.

Hours later, you wake up on your own as opposed to the usual shrill of your alarm. Half asleep you check the time on your phone, it reading 7:15. You’re just about to go back to sleep before you realize what that means.

Knowing you have to get Damien to school by 8:30, you jump up, rushing to pull on some clothes and wash up.

As you’re basically stumbling down the stairs you’re hit with the familiar smell of fresh coffee and bacon.

Moving into the kitchen reveals Damien sitting at the table, talking through a mouth of pancakes to your wife. Natasha leans beside the stove, clad in black sweatpants and a t-shirt, sipping from a mug.

“Momma look, mom made pancakes!” Damien exclaims, holding up his half empty plate of food.

You move in further, eyes falling to the empty spot at the table. A plate of pancakes and bacon sits beside a mug of hot coffee. A blue sticky note is on the mug, ‘I Love You ;)’ in your wife’s handwriting on it.

“Damien, sweetie go get dressed, you don’t want to be late.”

Being the obedient angel that he is, he jumps up and runs off to get ready for school.

Natasha watches you as you run your finger along the edge of the white porcelain plate. Then slicing your fork into the pancakes and tasting it.

“Pretty good. Where’d you learn to cook?” You have an upset and snarky comment on reserve but push it aside.

“I called Laura and she walked me through it. Damien likes them.”

You nod.

Sighing, Natasha sets her mug down, cautiously approaching you.“ Y/N, I’m sorry. I love you and Damien more than I can ever express with words And I-” She steps around you to lock her gaze with yours,“ I know I’ve let you and Damien down and I will do everything I can to make it up to the both of you.”

“Tasha.” You run a hand through your hair.“ I just don’t understand why? You are avidly making the choice to bail on us.”

“Because I’m scared Y/N. When Damien was born I thought I could do this despite everything I’ve ever known but I see him and the way you are with him and that’s how a mother is supposed to be with their child and I can’t be that. I’m not a mother.”

It breaks your heart to hear that that’s how she feels. Only for it to break further at the tears that pool in her eyes.

You reach for her hands, quick to reassure her,“ but you are a mother Natasha. And Damien loves you more than anything in this world. You were so good with him, the problem came when you stopped showing up. All he wants is your love and attention.”

Reaching up you wipe away the escaping tears.

“I know it can’t be easy for you. Coming up the way that you did I know this is all new to you but it is for me too. In a different way yes but still, we’re both learning. I just- I need you Natasha. This isn’t easy alone and whether you’re ready or not you made a promise to us to be here.”

Natasha’s green eyes flicker away from you at that,“ I’m so sorry. I’ve been acting incredibly selfish.”

Little, shoe clad feet, connecting with the floor breaks the conversation. Damien rounds the corner, dressed and holding his backpack.

“Moms I’m ready.” He says with a bright smile, a mix of yours and Natasha’s.

You squeeze Natasha’s hand in yours, a promise to finish later.

Together you take your son to school. Damien kissing your cheek before asking Natasha if he’ll be with you to pick him up.

She promises to and you make sure he gets in the school safely before going back home.

You fix two cups of tea and join your wife in the living room.

Sitting side by side, thighs and shoulders pressed together, you both wait for the other to restart the conversation.

“You’re a good mother Natasha. Damien adores you. And neither of us expect you to be perfect at this. Believe me I’ve made plenty of mistakes already. If he’s screwed up it’s my fault, not yours.” You partly joke.

Natasha grabs your hand, fingers lacing with yours,“ I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to you and be here for you and our son. And I’m sorry I’ve made you feel so alone in this.”

“You’re forgiven my love,” you kiss the back of her hand,“ and we’ll figure this out together.” You joke,“ and Laura.”

She laughs, fully pulling you into her embrace. After she sobers up she kisses your head.

“I promise from here on out you two are my main priority.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow x reader #black widow #marvel x reader #marvel #mcu x reader #mcu #reader insert

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silverlightqueen · 3 years

Text

Ozone 🦋

‘I need some reasons to live, maybe you could show me some.’

Phases - Hwang Hyunjin X Chase Atlantic

Rating: M (heavy angst, fluff, slightly suggestive)

Warnings: substance abuse, drug addiction, depression and discussion of suicidal behaviours/thoughts, toxic relationship, mention of alcohol, strong language

Word Count: 9.3k+

a/n: and here is the third (and my favourite) part of phases, my hhjxchaseatlantic series! please proceed with caution because this fic contains some serious and potentially triggering topics! I really hope you guys enjoy this, lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist! the biggest thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess for proofreading this, love you sis xo

taglist 🦋: @diue @shesfuckedinthehead @danyxthirstae01 @linours @titleisyettobemade @jikooksgirl19 @straytannies @silverlightprincess

‘I’m so sorry, Chaer, I gotta go, they’re blowing up my phone, I-’ ‘It’s okay, y/n, don’t worry about it. I’ll finish my story after,’ Chaeryeong says softly, patting the other girl’s shoulder comfortingly, and she mirrors Chaeryeong’s smile as she gets up from the table, trying to leave without Lia noticing her. She needs to be quick because she doesn’t wanna miss anything, so she slips around the edges of the room, hoping not to get caught in a conversation with one of Lia’s drunk uncles.

The sun is just beginning to set, the sky streaked with the most beautiful pastel colours, and a gentle breeze blows, kissing her exposed skin. The dresses Lia chose for them are so gorgeous – sea blue layers of floaty chiffon with thin straps and leg slits – and they’re perfect for this warm summer evening. The doorman offers her his arm to help her, and her heels click against the front steps of the manor house that Lia’s family have rented. She continues walking, right onto the grass, to make sure she’s stood a sufficient distance from the front door and the staff, not wanting anyone to overhear her conversation.

‘Where the fuck are you guys? The speeches are done, they’re about to serve the starters, and you idiots still aren’t here!’ she hisses angrily down the phone, Jisung silent for a moment before he says, ‘If any of you had answered your phones, then you’d know where we’ve been. And anyway, don’t blame all of us. It’s your idiot boyfriend that’s the problem.’ She takes a deep breath, already feeling her eyes fill with tears. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’ ‘Okay, well, whatever the fuck he is to you.’ ‘It doesn’t matter what he is to me – he’s your best friend. But anyway, what’s he done?’ ‘He’s blown out his mind again. Taken so many xans that I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out.’

She takes a deep breath, trying not to scream, and closes her eyes for a moment to compose herself. ‘Where are you?’ ‘At your place. We went straight there after the ceremony, to pick up the present like you asked, but he decided to pop a few while he waited in the car. They haven’t fully kicked in yet, so we’re waiting for him to get over the peak.’ ‘No, you can’t wait. You’re gonna have to just bring him.’

‘…y/n, are you insane? He’s gonna be higher than a kite in, like, 30 minutes!’ ‘I know, but you can’t miss this! You already missed the speeches, and Lia will start asking where you guys are soon. Our table is literally right at the front of the room, and there are four empty seats. It’s very noticeable, and very embarrassing that four of her closest friends are a no-show at her wedding!’ ‘Yeah, but we can’t bring him while he’s like this!’ ‘We’ll leave him in the car and take turns to look after him until he’s come down.’ ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yes! It’s better than you guys missing her wedding! Get here now.’ ‘Okay, okay, we’re on our way. We’ll be there in 20.’ ‘Make it 15.’ ‘y/n-’ ‘I’m not kidding, Sung!’ ‘Fine, 15. You’re paying any speed tickets, though.’ ‘Fine, whatever, just get here.’

The line clicks off and she blinks a few times to clear her vision before heading back up into the big ballroom, slipping back to her seat. ‘Where are they?’ Yeji asks the second she sits down, all of them waiting for her answer. ‘Hyunjin got high, so they were waiting for him to come back down before they came,’ she says quietly, embarrassed at his behaviour, and all of her friends look furious.

‘Is he fucking kidding? On Lia’s wedding day? How fucking selfish can he be?’ Ryujin hisses angrily, and all she can do is nod in agreement. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with him. But I told them to come anyway, and he can just wait in the car. It’s not fair that the other three should miss Lia’s big day because of him,’ she says softly, none of them wanting any of the other wedding guests to hear.

‘I swear to God, y/n, you need to drop him. He’s a fucking waste of space, and I’m sick of his bullshit,’ Chaeryeong says, and the other girl doesn’t say anything, looking at the empty seat beside her with thinly veiled misery. ‘Um, he’s our friend,’ Minho says, the girls turning their irritated gazes to him. ‘He’s our friend too, but it doesn’t mean what they said isn’t true. He is a waste of space, and we are sick of his bullshit,’ Yeji says softly, the boys exchanging glances before nodding in agreement. ‘Yeah, I guess. We just… feel bad for him,’ Changbin says, and Yuna scoffs. ‘Yeah, I did too. When we were in high school. We’re adults now, and we all have our lives together. He’s the only one that doesn’t. He needs to grow up like the rest of us,’ she says drily, everyone on the table in agreement that he’s a total mess.

It’s all too much for her, hearing all of this out loud, and she gets up from the table suddenly, all of them turning their gazes to her, guilt and concern appearing on their faces. ‘y/n, are y-’ ‘I’m fine, I just… gotta… go,’ she says faintly, getting up and heading towards the exit, stumbling out into the corridor with tears filling her eyes again. She makes her way to the bathroom on shaky legs, smiling weakly at Lia’s aunties that are congregated by the mirrors, gossiping about so-and-so’s dress and so-and-so’s new haircut.

She locks herself into a cubicle and checks Jisung’s location on her phone, breathing a sigh of relief when she sees his little dot moving closer to her own. She takes a minute to calm herself down, trying not to let their words about the boy she’s in love with replay in her mind, but she can’t help it. He is selfish, and a waste of space. It may be hard to hear, but it’s all true, and he’s never done anything to prove otherwise, never even attempted to show everyone they’re wrong about him. He’s a mess, and he knows it just as well as everyone else does.

She doesn’t know how long she’s sat on the lid of the toilet, watching Jisung’s dot on her phone, but when she finally leaves the cubicle, the bathroom is completely empty and eerily quiet. She stares at herself in the mirror for a while, and a small but genuine smile appears on her face at her reflection. She woke up super early this morning to make sure she looked especially nice, and she definitely achieved it – her makeup is flawless despite the tears that have threatened to spill twice already today, and her hair is perfect, unaffected by the slight breeze that’s been blowing since this morning.

She rolls her shoulders and neck to release some of the tension in her body, the crack of her bones echoing in the empty room. She puts her phone on the side, washing her hands with the expensive jasmine hand-soap, and just as she finishes drying her hands, the door opens. ‘Ah, y/n! My darling, you look gorgeous!’ Lia’s grandmother says with a big smile, the girl letting out a little exclamation of excitement as she wraps her arms around the small woman. ‘Thank you, Mrs Choi! And you look gorgeous too!’ ‘Oh, thank you, dear! Lia chose this dress for me – it seems she has an eye for good dresses, doesn’t she? You all looked so lovely stood beside her in your beautiful dresses earlier.’ ‘Not as lovely as the bride herself, of course.’ ‘Of course, of course! She looks stunning. I feel like I’ve been on the verge of tears all day,’ Lia’s grandmother laughs, and the girl truly means it when she says, ‘me too.’

‘It is an emotional day indeed. I look forward to the day that you get married, y/n. I’ll be able to spend the day getting a little too drunk like your grandmother has today,’ Mrs Choi gossips, the two of them giggling together. ‘I look forward to that day too, Mrs Choi. Lia’s wedding has just made me so much more excited for my own. I can’t wait.’ ‘Well, I don’t think you’ll have to wait too long.’ ‘Um… I’m not so sure about that,’ the girl says, getting a suspicious look in response. ‘Don’t tell me you and Hyunjin have broken up.’ ‘We’ve never been together, which isn’t even the start of our problems. He’s… just an idiot.’ ‘All boys are idiots, y/n. The sooner you come to terms with it, the better.’ ‘He’s more of an idiot than the rest of them, Mrs Choi. He’s not even my boyfriend, and I’m just fed up of him,’ she vents, Lia’s grandmother raising an eyebrow at her.

‘Sweetheart, does somebody need to have a word with the little shit? Because if he’s going around behind your back, Mr Choi will s-’ ‘No, he’s not… going around behind my back. He just hasn’t got his life together and it’s starting to really affect our relationship, if I can even call it that.’ ‘Oh, dear. Maybe you’re better off without him.’ ‘I am better off without him.’ ‘Well, I’m glad you know it. The day you decide to actually do something about it, let me know. Lia’s got some single cousins an-’ ‘Thank you for the offer, Mrs Choi, but I don’t need you to matchmake for me.’ ‘You say that now, but just wait,’ Lia’s grandmother says with a mischievous grin, the girl rolling her eyes amusedly. ‘We’ll see.’ ‘We shall. Now you go back and join your friends, sweetheart. I’ll catch you on the dancefloor later,’ the old lady says with a little shake of her hips, the girl bursting into laughter as she heads out of the bathroom.

She checks Jisung’s location again, and he’s only a couple minutes away, so she heads back out to the front of the manor house, admiring the vast grounds with its high trees, vibrant flowers and clear lake as she waits for them to arrive. As soon as she sees the car, she heads towards the driveway, the doorman helping her down the steps again. The second the boys start getting out of the car, she begins fussing about them. They all look dishevelled, and she’d rather not know why.

‘Don’t any of you know how to answer your damn phones?’ Felix says with half-hearted annoyance, letting the girl tighten his tie around his neck. ‘Lia’s family were doing their speeches, and then everyone was coming around and greeting us, so we couldn’t exactly start talking to you idiots on the phone.’ ‘We’re not the idiots, y/n,’ Seungmin says drily, standing still to let her straighten the flower on his lapel. ‘I know,’ she says softly, not even wanting to look in the car and see him. ‘How is he anyway?’ ‘He’s at his peak, so he should be near sober in about an hour, hour and a half,’ Jisung says, rolling his eyes as the girl fixes his hair. ‘Right, fine. We’ll come get him in an hour then. Let’s go.’

‘Woah, woah, hold on. We can’t just leave him in the car by himself,’ Seungmin says, and she raises an eyebrow at him. ‘Why not? If he doesn’t wanna be left in a car by himself, he shouldn’t get high before our best friend’s wedding reception.’ ‘Yeah, I get that, but what if he does something stupid?’ Felix asks, the girl sighing. ‘What do you suggest then?’ ‘We’ll… take shifts watching him. I’ll go first,’ Jisung says, and she shakes her head with wide eyes. ‘Are you insane? You need to go in and say hi to everyone, and then send someone else out, one of the boys. I’ll keep an eye on him for now,’ she says reluctantly, the boys exchanging a glance.

‘If there’s anyone that shouldn’t do a shift, y/n, it’s you.’ ‘Yeah, I know that, Jisung, but no one else is here, so it’ll have to be me. Just go, stop wasting time. If anyone asks where he is, say he’s really ill and he’s sleeping it off in the car,’ she says quickly, taking the car keys from Seungmin and shooing them away, watching as they head up towards the house. ‘You look very hot, by the way! As always!’ Jisung shouts over his shoulder with a grin and she rolls her eyes at him, flattered but most certainly not in the mood. ‘Miss, would you like me to take the car around to the car park for you?’ the valet says, suddenly appearing by her side, and she jumps slightly in surprise. ‘Um, actually… my friend’s still in the car – he’s not very well so we’re just gonna get him to sleep it off and take turns keeping an eye on him. Is there anywhere we can park the car where it’s closer to the house?’ she asks, and the valet thinks for a moment. ‘There’s a little clearing over this side of the house, Miss. I can drive the car there if you’d like,’ he offers, the girl nodding and handing him the keys.

She follows behind the car, walking carefully along the gravel, and thanks the valet profusely as he hands the keys back to her. She wonders whether or not she should get into the car, but the decision is made for her when Hyunjin rolls down the back window, looking at her with an unreadable expression, the whites of his eyes discoloured with red and his bottom lip split. That explains why the boys were all looking dishevelled – they must have gotten into a… scuffle with him. She doesn’t say anything, looking away from him after a moment, and he chuckles. ‘Don’t I get a lecture?’ he asks amusedly, and she doesn’t even dignify his question with a response. ‘Silent treatment?’ ‘Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin.’ He just chuckles in response, and she wants nothing more than to land a heavy punch on his annoyingly perfect face. Instead, she leans against the car and looks down at her phone, scrolling unseeingly through the pictures that Jeongin took of the girls earlier.

‘Why are you always so high-strung, babe? Just relax. Take a xanny,’ he says, smile audible in his voice, and she looks at him with pure disgust. ‘It’s not funny. Not one thing about this is funny.’ ‘It’s a little bit funny.’ ‘You’re fucking sick in the head,’ she spits angrily, and he looks taken aback for a moment, quickly smoothing out his features into that arrogant expression he wears all the time. ‘Wow, that’s harsh. What have I done to you? It’s Lia’s wedding – she’s the only one that can be angry with me,’ he says amusedly, and she feels her eyes filling with tears again. ‘No, actually, I can be angry at you too. It’s fucking humiliating having everyone look at the empty seat next to mine, your empty seat, wondering where the fuck my dirtbag of a boyfriend is!’

‘I’m not your boyfriend,’ he says quickly, the girl letting out a humourless laugh, furious that that’s the thing he decides to address. ‘Yeah, you’ve made that pretty fucking obvious.’ ‘Listen, y/n, I don’t get why you’re so upset that the seat next to you is empty. Just… move seats,’ he grins, as though it’s simple, and she wants to rip his soft black hair out of his stupid head. ‘That’s not the problem, Hyunjin. It’s a lonely feeling.’ ‘You’re sat with your best friends. They’re keeping you company. How can you say you’re lonely?’ ‘They’re all sat next to their boyfriends and girlfriends. The only empty seat on the table, now that the other three are there, is the one next to mine. It’s lonely because they all have their significant others there.’ ‘Well, maybe you should get a boyfriend then. It’s not my fault that you’re single,’ he smiles serenely, and she feels her heart break.

He just called her single. They’ve been messing around since high school, and never have either of them said that they’re single. It was always ‘it’s complicated’, or ‘yeah, we’re kinda together’, or even ‘I’m seeing someone’. Never that they’re single. And he knows that. He’s saying it on purpose, to hurt her – she’s sure of it – and she’s never hated him more than in this moment. Her eyes shine with tears and he just looks back at her smugly with his slightly bloodshot eyes. His body is so accustomed to being high that it’s only ever his eyes that change. His body is never slow or sluggish, his words are never slurred, he never becomes uncoordinated or dizzy. The only sign of him being up in the clouds is his eyes being tinged with a little red.

Changbin appears, almost out of nowhere, and he looks between them with silent concern. ‘Does Lia know anything?’ Hyunjin asks, directing the question at both of them, but the girl ignores him. ‘No. She’s not stupid, though – she’ll realise soon enough,’ Changbin says with no warmth or kindness, and Hyunjin almost looks guilty when he asks, ‘Are you gonna cover for me?’ ‘We’re not gonna ruin her wedding day. So… yeah, we’ll have to cover for you,’ Changbin answers quietly, and the girl lets out a little humourless laugh. ‘You fucking owe us one, you piece of shit.’ ‘I owe you all more than just one. Especially you, y/n. I owe you hundreds. You never stop doing things for me,’ he says with a grin, as though it’s something to be proud of, and it makes her feel sick – it’s like he’s mocking her, making her seem like she’s just his little fan, who follows him around and does whatever he asks.

‘You head back inside, y/n. I’ll stay with this dickhead,’ Changbin says softly, putting a gentle hand on her arm, and she nods, not wasting another moment before heading towards the front of the manor. ‘Tell whoever’s on the next shift to bring me a bottle of vodka!’ Hyunjin calls after the girl and she bites down on her lip, to stop herself from both screaming at him and bursting into tears, feeling that Changbin’s ‘shut your fucking mouth before I shove my fist in it, you fucking moron’ is more than enough of a scolding.

When she re-enters the ballroom, the atmosphere has livened up considerably, the guests beginning to mix between tables, the music a little louder and the lights a little lower. She heads back to the table with her friends, Lia sat there, and she feels a little bit of panic when Lia spots her, the bride’s eyes narrowing. ‘What’s going on with him?’ Lia asks the second the other girl sits down, and she waits for her response with a raised eyebrow, the others on the table silent. ‘These guys already told you, right?’ ‘No, they didn’t. They’re saying that nothing’s wrong, which is bullshit. What’s going on, y/n?’ The girl decides she’s not gonna lie for him, she’s not gonna cover for him anymore, and she takes a deep sigh before saying, ‘he’s high, Lia. I’m sorry.’

Lia shakes her head disappointedly, sadness in her eyes, but there isn’t one hint of surprise in her reaction at all, which hurts. No one’s ever surprised by his behaviour. No one ever expects anything better of him. No one ever thinks he might make a change, but it’s probably because he never will.

‘I even told him he could get high after my family are all gone. They’re leaving at 9 and then we’ve got the place to ourselves all night. He just had to wait a few more hours,’ Lia says angrily, the others all shaking their heads in mutual disappointment. ‘Where is he? I wanna speak to him,’ she says abruptly, getting up from her seat without a second’s hesitation, and all her friends exchange alarmed glances. ‘Woah, Lia, hold on. Changbin’s with him, but you can’t go. It’s your wedding – you can’t just disappear,’ Yeji says, and Lia looks like she’s debating it with herself.

‘I… I wanna go and speak to him so bad. I don’t know whether I wanna knock him out or give him a hug, but I just need to see him,’ she says distractedly, as though her thoughts are too loud for her to focus on her words, and the others look at her with incredulity. ‘You wanna hug him?’ Jeongin asks disbelievingly, voicing all of their thoughts, and she lets out an exasperated sigh. ‘You guys are all so quick to get angry at him. Do you never stop to wonder why he’s always high or drunk?’ she asks, sitting back down again, and everyone rolls their eyes.

‘Lia, it’s nice of you to be concerned about him, but I really wouldn’t try and think about him in a psychological way. He’s too far gone for our help now. I mean, it’s literally your wedding day, and he couldn’t stay sober,’ Ryujin says slowly, and Lia’s eyes widen. ‘But that’s what I’m trying to say! It’s my wedding day… and he couldn’t stay sober. Why has nobody stopped to think about that? What is hurting him so much that he couldn’t stay sober for his best friend’s wedding?’ Lia says slowly, her friends silent as her words sink in, and their anger is quickly replaced by panic and guilt.

‘y/n, has he… spoken to you at all? Mentioned anything to you? I know you two aren’t exactly… well, I don’t even know what you are, but he confides in you more than anyone else,’ Minho says gently, and the girl tries to quieten her concerns, thinking back to anything she should’ve noticed. ‘I can’t think of anything. I mean… there’s the usual stuff he’s talked about since high school – how he gets high to get rid of the pain – but nothing… out of the blue. Nothing bad enough to make him get high in the middle of Lia’s wedding,’ she says quietly, desperately wracking her brains but coming up empty-handed.

‘Maybe we should try and speak to him about it? Try and get him to talk?’ ‘He doesn’t talk, Lix. He won’t talk, to any of us. Except y/n,’ Chaeryeong says gently, all of them silent as they try to think. ‘Will you speak to him, y/n? I’m just worried now that Lia’s said that.’ ‘Trust me, Yuna, I’d love to speak to him, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get anything out of him. I was just with him and… he was horrible to me. Worse than he’s ever been before. I told him it isn’t a nice feeling to be sat in here with the seat next to me empty, and he said that maybe I should get a boyfriend, and it isn’t his fault that I’m single,’ she says quietly, all of them gasping in shock.

‘That’s it. I don’t give a fuck if he’s struggling or going through something difficult – that’s no excuse to be a dick.’ ‘Jisung, please, calm do-’ ‘No, Lia! How many nights has she stayed with him? How many episodes of his has she stuck by him through? How many times has she saved his damn life? Everything she’s ever done for him, and he thinks he can speak to her like that? It doesn’t run! I’m gonna kick his ass!’ Jisung says angrily, standing up, and all the others start panicking and stand up too, trying to get him to calm down. ‘Jisung, if you don’t sit your ass down and shut up, I’ll kick your ass,’ Lia hisses, all of them suddenly conscious of the stares they’re getting from the other wedding guests, and they all quickly sit back down.

‘You don’t get to choose how we deal with him. y/n does,’ Lia says calmly, all of their gazes turning to the girl in question, and she hesitates, taking a few moments to think about it. She wants nothing more than to see him get his due, for being such a dick to her for so long, but she loves him too much to abandon him, or hurt him, at a time when he could be hurting more than he ever has before.

‘We’ll carry on doing the shifts until he’s come down... and then, I’ll speak to him. Only when he’s sobered up. The next person to go out needs to take his drugs off him, if he has any – I don’t want him to take more while he’s coming down. I’ll bring him in after speaking to him,’ she says, telling them the best plan she can think of, and they all nod. ‘Okay, y/n. That’s what we’ll do. I’ll take the next shift,’ Chan says, the others volunteering themselves to look after him, and she feels herself zoning out, worrying about him again. ‘Hey, y/n. Stop stressing. We’re gonna look after him, okay? Team effort to… save Hyunjin,’ Felix says softly with a small smile, and the girl nods, convincing herself that they’ll be able to do it. That they can save Hyunjin.

‘My eyes must have been deceiving me all night, because I haven’t seen you step foot onto that dancefloor,’ Lia’s father says from where he’s appeared behind her seat, and she smiles up at him. ‘Hey, Mr Choi.’ ‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he says, sliding into the empty seat beside her. ‘Why the sad face?’ ‘Oh, I’m not sad. I’m just… reminiscing. It feels like the end of an era,’ she says, glancing over at Lia and wondering when she grew up so much. Wondering when all of them grew up so much.

‘I’ve been thinking the same thing. I can’t help but wish the time hadn’t gone so quickly. I miss those old days. When you girls would play outside for hours each day, all summer long. It feels like just yesterday that me and the other parents waved you all goodbye on your first day of high school, and here we are. At Lia’s wedding,’ he says with a sad smile, both of them watching Lia dance with the biggest smile on her face, looking radiant in her beautiful dress. ‘It feels surreal.’ ‘I completely agree. These years have just flown by – it just feels wrong that you guys are getting married and settling down. Make sure you don’t get married for a long time, y/n. I’m not ready to see you get married yet,’ he says with a grin, the girl bursting into laughter.

‘I can’t wait too long. You’re starting to get old an-’ ‘You cheeky little-’ he exclaims, hitting the girl with a napkin. Lia’s old aunties shoot them dirty looks and they try to stifle their laughter, but it only makes everything funnier, the two of them giggling into their hands like little schoolkids. ‘You might be joking, but I’m afraid you’re right, y/n. We are getting old, so don’t wait too long. I think… in ten years should be fine,’ he says with a grin, her mouth falling open. ‘Ten years? I’ll be ancient by then!’ ‘Watch your mouth,’ he says warningly, an amused glint in his eyes.

‘If I’m being totally honest, I can see you getting married next. I think someone out there will have enough sense to put a ring on you soon,’ he says, trying to sound all mystical, but he makes it sound like a threat instead, and she can’t help but laugh. ‘No, I don’t think so. I feel like I’m destined to just be a bridesmaid for the rest of my life.’ ‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous! You’ll find the right one. Maybe it’s that boyfriend of yours,’ he says tentatively, as though testing the waters, and when she remains silent, her smile slipping a little, he backtracks.

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.’ ‘No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’s… silly.’ ‘I don’t think things are ever silly with you and that boy, y/n. You two seem to have problems that are more serious than any other couple I know. And you’re not even married!’ ‘We’re not even together at all, Mr Choi. He called me single today,’ she says with a sad smile, and his mouth falls open. ‘Where is he?’ he says, clenching his hands into fists menacingly, and she laughs, shaking her head. ‘No, no, it’s okay. I’ll get over it,’ she says, but he’s distracted, looking around the room.

‘Okay, seriously… where is he? I haven’t seen him all night, and I can’t see him now. And this is supposed to be his seat, right?’ he asks, obviously picking up on how the table settings in front of the seat are untouched, how he’s the first person to have sat in that seat all night, and she nods reluctantly, the man shaking his head. ‘Where is he, y/n?’ ‘He’s been an idiot, and… we’re dealing with it,’ she says vaguely, and he raises an eyebrow.

The kids have managed to hide Hyunjin’s addiction from all of their parents for years. The parents have their suspicions, of course, but it’s never been confirmed to them, because they’ve never seen him do drugs. They’ve seen him whilst he’s high, without even realising – he’s pretty much himself when he’s high, just a little hyper or chill – so he’s managed to get away with his addiction for years.

Before Mr Choi can reply, Seungmin’s voice comes from behind them. ‘y/n. You’re up,’ he says gravely, and she takes a deep breath. ‘He’s definitely okay for me to talk to him?’ she asks, Seungmin nodding. ‘I’m sorry to leave you, Mr Choi, but I gotta…’ ‘Don’t worry about it. You have my phone number so call me if something happens. Okay?’ he says, obviously wanting to intervene but not wanting to overstep, and she nods with a small smile.

The walk to the car feels like it stretches over a lifetime, her nerves growing and her legs feeling weaker with each step. It’s past sunset now, but there’s still the warm glow of a beautiful dusk over the manor grounds, the cooling air making her shiver. When she approaches Seungmin’s car, she sees that Hyunjin is sat on the boot, looking towards the lake with a blank face. She feels relief flood through her when he turns his gaze towards her and his eyes aren’t red anymore. This is him sober, or as sober as he’s been in a long time. Lia wasn’t exaggerating when she said that he’s always high or drunk – he even showed up to the ceremony this morning with the faint scent of vodka on his lips.

Neither of them say anything as she joins him, settling beside him on the boot, making sure her dress isn’t touching the floor. ‘That dress really suits you. You look… amazing,’ he murmurs quietly, looking back at the lake. ‘Thanks. And you look handsome in your suit,’ she says softly, feeling her heart flutter a little when his lips quirk up at the corners and he turns his head away with embarrassment.

He’s dressed in a standard black tux with a white shirt underneath it, but the outfit’s simplicity doesn’t stop it from accentuating his lean and slim figure nicely, the colour setting off his honey skin. His soft black hair falls over his forehead into his eyes, and silver rings adorn his long fingers. The tie hanging from his neck is the same blue as her dress, and it reminds her of when they matched his tie and her dress at high school prom all those years ago, the memory bringing a fond smile to her face.

‘Thanks,’ he says quietly, and they fall back into silence. A sudden gust of wind blows, carrying the lilt of faint birdsong, and the trees lean from its force, their leaves brushing against each other. She shivers, bringing her arms around herself, hands clutching onto her own shoulders, and he instantly begins to shrug off his jacket, handing it to her without looking in her direction. She thanks him softly, taking the jacket and pulling it around herself, feeling the echo of his body warmth in its inner lining. He rarely wears any aftershave or cologne – his natural scent is more than enough to make him smell good – but the scent of the Dior spray she bought him for his last birthday fills her senses.

‘I’m really sorry,’ he says suddenly, eyes still on the lake, and she lets out a gentle laugh. ‘It’s not me you need to apologise to. It’s not my wedding – it’s Lia’s,’ she says gently, no anger in her voice at all. She can’t be angry at him when he’s all subdued like this. ‘I know, and I owe Lia an apology too. But… I’ve owed you an apology for a long time, y/n. For so many things.’ She doesn’t say anything, not quite sure what to say, and he takes her silence as a sign to continue, neither of them looking at each other.

‘I… I’m sorry I said to you that you should get a boyfriend. I shouldn’t have called you single – it was nasty, and it wasn’t true. I don’t really know what we are, but we are something,’ he says in a small voice, sounding earnest, and she just sighs. ‘Then… why did you say it? Why did you… want to be nasty to me?’ she asks shakily, tears welling up in her eyes again, and he’s completely silent, showing no sign of answering her question.

‘I don’t understand. Every time you do these things to me, all I can think is that I just don’t understand. I deserve better than you – that’s what you say – but no matter what you do, I still want you, and I don’t understand that either. Why do I keep coming back to you when you treat me like shit? I’m doing it right now. Look how you spoke to me earlier, and I’m sat out here with you instead of being with Lia on her wedding day. Why do I do this? And why do you do this to yourself? You run from the person you need the most. No matter how much I think about it, I just don’t know why you do it. But it has to stop, Hyunjin. It has to stop,’ she says tearily, sobs breaking up her words, and he feels his heart breaking as he listens to her.

He wordlessly moves closer to her, pulling her into his arms, and she rests her head on his chest, trying her best to calm herself down as he comforts her, running his hand over her hair soothingly. ‘I was good this morning. Yeah, I took a couple shots before I left the house, but they were just to give me energy after the pills I took last night. But I was good, I was happy,’ he begins, voice quiet, and she feels a glimmer of hope at the prospect that he’s finally gonna open up to her, tell her something of substance rather than the usually vague things he tells her (she wanted to slam her head into the wall that time he spent ages building up to a big confession for it to be ‘I stay high because I don’t like being sober’).

‘And then, after the ceremony, while you guys were taking bridesmaids pictures, I overheard your parents talking to Ryujin’s parents. They were talking about how happy they are for Lia, how beautiful she looks, and then the conversation changed to you,’ he continues, tears appearing in his eyes and the girl waits nervously for the rest of the story.

He relives the moment as he tells her about it. How he heard her name come up in the conversation, his heart skipping a beat just at the mention of her, and he started listening a little more eagerly. How he couldn’t help the smile on his face when they spoke about how beautiful she’ll look on her wedding day. How he felt like he’d had his heart ripped out when her father mentioned his worries about who his daughter will marry, and how he hopes it won’t be her ‘no-good deadbeat failure of a boyfriend’ because he feels – no, he knows – that ending up with Hyunjin will mean she’ll end up heartbroken.

She bursts into tears as soon as he finishes telling her, and he’s so endeared by her reaction that he can’t help but chuckle, holding her just a little closer as the tears spill down his face. ‘Hyunjin, why didn’t you just tell me?’ she asks quietly once the sobs have stopped forcing their way up her throat. She sits back up, their shoulders touching, and he intertwines his hand with hers, a sad smile on his face. ‘What was I supposed to say? ‘I overheard your dad talking about how much he hates me and my first good mood this entire year is ruined because of it’? That’s not exactly a great conversation to have at your best friend’s wedding.’ ‘Yeah, but it’s a better conversation to have than the one we’re having right now,’ she points out, and he chuckles, nodding in agreement.

‘I know this probably won’t change anything, but you should know that my dad’s opinion on you doesn’t matter to me-’ ‘But, y/n, it’s true. He’s right. I am a no-good deadbeat failure. My life is meaningless. I don’t bring anything to the table. I don’t contribute anything positive to your life, to anyone’s life. You probably would end up heartbroken if you married me. Which is why you can’t marry me. You can’t be with me, y/n. I know I say this all the time, but you do deserve better than someone like me. I wish I was more of a man, but I’m not. All I do is neglect you, and put myself above you,’ he says softly, and she just stares at him with such an intense mix of emotions – anger, sorrow, guilt, hurt, confusion, longing – that she doesn’t even know what to say.

‘But I love you,’ she whispers eventually, and he brushes back her hair with an affectionate smile. ‘And I love you too. More than I have ever loved anything. More than anyone has ever loved anything. You are my entire life, y/n. And that’s the problem. My life is you, drugs and alcohol. You have so much more in your life – you have such a potential for success – but being with me will only drag you down. It’s what I’m already doing to you – slowly dragging you down.’ ‘But Hyunjin, you have such a potential for success too! You could have so much fulfilment in your life. You could be so much more.’ ‘But I’m not, and I don’t think I ever will be. I don’t think I’ll ever get sober,’ he whispers hesitantly, fear in his eyes, and it’s so clear to her in that moment that he hates this. The thought of living like this for the rest of his life scares him, but he feels like there’s nothing he can do to change that.

She’s silent for a moment, debating whether or not she should say what she wants to say, but she throws caution to wind and decides to contradict everything she and their friends have been saying to him for years. ‘You don’t have to get sober,’ she says slowly, his eyes widening. ‘What?’ ‘I know I’ve been saying that you need to get sober, but I’ve been thinking about it, and… it’s like weight-loss,’ she says, the boy laughing. ‘Getting sober is like weight-loss?’ ‘Yeah! Think about it; if you go from eating junk food every day and never exercising, to never eating any junk food and working out for three hours every day, it’s just not gonna work. You have to do it slowly, you know? Make lifestyle changes instead. Slowly incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Learn healthier recipes and make better choices with food that you buy.’

He processes her words, holding back laughter at her metaphor, and asks, ‘So you’re saying… I need to just slowly start taking less drugs?’ ‘That’s exactly what I’m saying! We shouldn’t expect you to get sober overnight – it probably won’t work if we try to do it like that. But if you just start taking less and less, then it’ll be an easier process. And I don’t even expect you to get completely sober. A couple xans or a joint at a party, or even a couple lines wouldn’t kill you. That’s what the other boys do. It’s about moderation. It’s about not getting high again as soon as you feel yourself coming down,’ she says pointedly, and he lets out a sigh.

‘It sounds like a great idea, y/n, but… the drugs keep me alive. They might be slowly killing me, but they’re also keeping me alive. As soon as I feel myself coming down, it all comes back. The hurt, the trauma, the self-hatred, the loneliness and the crippling pain of my life. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but there’s something very wrong with me, because when I’m sober, I want to die. When I’m sober, I don’t have any reasons to live,’ he confides in a gentle voice, holding her hand tight, and her heart sinks at his admission. ‘Well… maybe I could give you some?’ she whispers, his lips curling up into a small smile, and he puts an arm around her, pulling her close and pressing his lips to her temple. ‘Maybe you could, angel. I should at least let you try. But I can’t promise it’ll work,’ he murmurs against her skin, and she feels her heart lift with hope. This is more than he’s ever let her try before.

‘Okay. We’ll start with trying to… fix you tomorrow,’ she says, and his eyes widen. ‘Tomorrow?’ ‘Yes, tomorrow. If we keep putting it off, we’ll never get around to it. Tonight, you can go inside, say hi to everyone and apologise for your… antics, and when all of Lia’s family have left, you can get high with the boys. Then, after we see Lia off on her honeymoon, we’re starting with… ‘Operation: Help Hyunjin’. Okay?’ she asks, and he nods with a small smile. ‘Okay.’ ‘Promise me you’ll try. If I show up to your house in the morning and you’re not there, like all those other times, I’m gonna be really upset. I love you, but I can’t put up with you running from me for much longer. So I want you to actually try this time.’

‘I promise I won’t run from you. And I promise I’ll try, for you.’ ‘No. It’s not for me – it’s for you. It’s for your happiness, your future. The motivation for this needs to be you. You owe it to yourself to live a better life. Nobody else but you.’ ‘Okay. I’ll promise I’ll try. For me,’ he smiles, tilting her head up to press a gentle kiss to her lips, making her heart flutter. He chuckles at the dazed look on her face, jumping down from the boot of the car. He puts two big hands on her waist and helps to lift her down, leading her back up to the wedding.

‘You look so cute in my jacket,’ he chuckles, and she instantly begins taking it off. ‘No, angel, it’s cold!’ ‘My dress is so pretty, though. I don’t wanna cover it up. And we’re going inside now anyway,’ she says, handing him his jacket back, and he pulls it on as his eyes trail up and down her body. ‘I guess the dress is pretty. Not as pretty as you, though,’ he murmurs, and she rolls her eyes, unable to hold back a giggle. ‘That was a terrible line.’ ‘Who says it was a line? The only lines I do are coke.’ ‘…Not funny, Jin.’ ‘Sorry.’

They walk towards the front door of the manor holding hands, their fingers interlaced, and Hyunjin spots a little flower bush a few feet away. ‘Hold on,’ he says, letting go of her hand and picking one of the flowers. They’re blush pink, the same colour as the corsage he bought her from prom, and he holds it up to her with a grin, a small smile on her face as he lifts up her hair to tuck it behind her ear. It might not match the dress, but he thinks she looks beautiful, and she’s so touched that he remembers such a small detail from so long ago. Pink peonies have been her favourite flowers since he bought her that corsage, because every time she sees one, she thinks of him.

‘You look perfect,’ he murmurs, pressing his lips to hers again, and she sighs gently into the kiss, his lips curling into a smirk as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer. ‘Wanna come back to mine tonight?’ he asks once they break apart, and she rolls her eyes. ‘Really?’ ‘Yes. Your dad doesn’t want us to get married? Cool. He never said anything about us having a kid,’ he grins, and she laughs. ‘Very funny.’ ‘I’m kinda not kidding,’ he says with bright eyes, and her mouth falls open. ‘Seriously?’ ‘Yeah. I’ve always wanted a kid with you. They’ll be the most amazing kid on earth,’ he grins, the girl still not sure whether he’s joking or not, and she’s silent for a long few moments. ‘Fine, I’ll make you a deal. You get to some form of sobriety, and then I’ll get pregnant. How does that sound?’ she asks, and he lets out a whoop of joy, sweeping her up into his arms and spinning her, their laughter carrying in the wind. ‘Sounds perfect to me, y/n.’

The bridal march begins suddenly, the guests all falling quiet, and her bridesmaids make their way in one by one. Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong and Yuna all have genuinely happy smiles on their faces, wearing matching dresses the same colour as the blush pink peony bouquets that they all hold, bouquets designed by the bride herself. The flowers are a main point of decoration – no matter where you look in the room, you’ll see a pink peony within your peripheral vision.

Hyunjin feels anticipation building inside him, unable to keep the smile off his face when his son enters after the bridesmaids, throwing pink flower petals with a mischievous smile on his face. You’d think he’d resemble Hyunjin, and he does in a way, with his soft fluffy hair and handsome good looks, but when Hyunjin looks at him, all he can see is her. Their son got her beautiful eyes, her beautiful smile, her beautiful heart, and he couldn’t be happier about it.

She enters after their son, the entire room gasping at how beautiful she looks. Hyunjin feels his eyes fill with tears, not at her perfect dress or perfect hair and makeup, but her perfect smile, complete and utter happiness on her face. He desperately tries to blink back the tears, eyes flitting to her father beside her, their arms linked together. He looks a lot older than Hyunjin remembers, but looking around, he realises they all look a lot older than he remembers. It’s been a long and difficult few years for all of them, her most of all.

With each step she takes, he feels himself getting more and more emotional, in disbelief at how perfect she looks, how happy she looks. She reaches the end of the aisle and joins her fiancé at the altar, handing her bouquet to her bridesmaids and taking Jisung’s hands into her own, the boy smiling unbelievably widely. He looks like the happiest man in the world.

Hyunjin watches, from right behind Jisung, as the love of his life marries his best friend, the smiles not leaving their faces for a single moment. Despite the hurt, the jealousy, the longing he feels for her, he also feels happy for her, and grateful towards Jisung. Grateful to him for being the boyfriend that Hyunjin could never be, and being the father that Hyunjin could never be. And as they kiss, sealing their promise of love, and Hyunjin’s son runs up to his mother and the man that he thinks is his father, the three of them making the happiest family on earth, Hyunjin feels paralysing regret fill him.

Regret about the drugs. Regret about the alcohol. Regret that he couldn’t prove anyone wrong. Regret about the fact that he hurt her, and ran from her, when she’s the one that he needs the most, the one he’s always needed the most. Regret that he couldn’t be more of a man. Regret that he couldn’t get sober, not for her, or their son, or even for himself.

Once the ceremony’s over, and the happy couple are taking their photos in the gardens, the guests watching on with affectionate smiles, Hyunjin’s friends gather around him, giving him brief hugs or squeezing his hand comfortingly, and he’s not sure whether it’s making him feel better or worse. The photographer calls for a picture of the happy couple with the best man, and his eyes meet with hers, a small smile on her face as he heads towards the two of them.

‘Your flower’s about to fall off,’ Jisung points out when Hyunjin joins them, and without a moment of hesitation, she lifts her hands to his lapel to fix it. ‘It’s like prom all over again – me fucking up my flower, and you spending most of the night fixing it,’ Hyunjin jokes, the girl laughing while she re-pins his pink peony boutonniere, and Jisung feels a pang of pain in his heart as he watches them. They look like they should be the bride and groom – the way she fixes his flower with the softest hands and the utmost care, the way he gazes at her with nothing but love in his eyes, the two of them laughing quietly – and even though Jisung understood his reference, he still feels left out, as though he’s the third wheel intruding on an inside joke.

They get into position for the photo, Jisung on her right and Hyunjin on her left, both of them with an arm around the bride, and she holds her bouquet, the three of them smiling in the sunlight as though they’re the happiest people in the world. Hyunjin looks like the proud best friend, successfully hiding his jealousy of Jisung and his love for her. Jisung looks like the elated groom, successfully hiding his jealousy of Hyunjin and his longing to feel her love the way his best friend always has and always will. And she looks like the picture of the bride glowing with happiness, successfully hiding her yearning for the reversal of the boys’ roles, her desire for Jisung to be the proud best friend and Hyunjin to be the elated groom. The three of them are so tragic and they don’t even know it, don’t even know the truth about each other’s desires.

Their son comes running over, wanting to get into the picture, and it’s like he knows the truth because he decides to stand between the bride and the best man rather than the bride and the groom. She feels panic fill her, not sure whether or not she should move her son, but the photographer begins taking pictures before any of them can act.

It’s almost as though the photographer’s worked them out, like he can see right through the three of them and their lies, because he suggests taking photos of the best man and the happy couple’s son, the three of them exchanging a glance before the bride and groom move away. Hyunjin lifts his son into his arms, the boy completely oblivious to Hyunjin’s inner turmoil, and he just wraps his arms around the man that he knows as his uncle, smiling widely for the camera.

The bride watches them from behind the photographer, and it’s only when Jisung walks away wordlessly that she registers the loving smile on her face which falters quickly. ‘y/n,’ the girl hears, and she tears her eyes away from Jisung’s retreating back, turning to look at Hyunjin’s mother, and the guilt fades away into excitement. ‘Mrs Hwang! Thank you so much for coming!’ the bride exclaims, throwing her arms around the woman she holds dear in her heart. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. You look so beautiful. I’m so happy for you,’ she says, holding the girl tight, and once they break apart, their eyes both wander to Hyunjin and his son, posing for pictures.

‘I’ve just noticed, y/n, how much your son looks like my son,’ Mrs Hwang murmurs, the bride silent for a moment as she watches her boys laugh together, the photographer capturing the moment. ‘I personally think he gets his looks from me. His personality is all Hyunjin, though,’ she says mildly, Mrs Hwang giving the girl a sad smile. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really thought he’d get his act together.’ ‘So did I, Mrs Hwang. But it’s okay. Jisung makes me happy.’ ‘I’m glad. You deserve to be happy,’ she says wistfully, the two of them still watching their boys laughing together. ‘Come and visit me soon, y/n. And bring your son. I’d quite like to meet him again, knowing what I know,’ Mrs Hwang says quietly, the bride nodding with a smile, holding the tears back.

Hyunjin notices his mother walking away from the bride, and he feels hope in his heart when his eyes lock with those of the girl that he loves, and he sees love reflected back at him, a sad smile on her face. Does she still love him? Is she wishing that she’d married him instead of his best friend? Is she wondering what her life would be like if they were the newly-weds, and their son knew the truth about his father?

But the moment is fleeting, because the sadness disappears from her smile, making him question whether it was even there in the first place, and her loving eyes are on her son instead, not Hyunjin. And suddenly, the realisation hits him. The realisation that she doesn’t love him. That she loves Jisung. And he can never call her his again. And in the few moments before his world comes crashing down, he feels the familiar itch in his fingers, the desperation to reach into his pocket and pull out the little plastic packet, full of the stuff that pushes his pain away.

So he holds it together for the last few photos before heading off towards his car with the tears in his eyes blurring the path in front of him, his absence almost entirely unnoticed in all the excitement. But she watches him with their son in her arms, feeling the crack in her heart grow with each step he takes, wishing with all her might that she could go running after him, get into his car with him so he can drive the three of them away to their own little world of happiness. And Jisung watches her, the longing and love in her eyes so clear as she watches his best friend, and he knows in that moment that his hopes that she’ll one day love him as much as she loves Hyunjin are delusional, that he’s signed his life over to being second best in the eyes of the person he loves more than anyone in the world.

Maybe the three of them are truly happy in another world, but certainly not in this one.

#straykidsland #kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #stray kids #skz #stray kids au #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #skz hwang hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin #skz angst #skz fluff #phases hhj

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horansqueen · 3 years

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Stuck With You - Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Things I’ll Never Say

🡪chapter 1 🡪chapter 2 🡪chapter 3 🡪chapter 4 🡪chapter 5 🡪chapter 6 🡪chapter 7 🡪chapter 8 🡪chapter 9 🡪chapter 10 🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31 🡪chapter 32 🡪chapter 33 🡪chapter 34

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

If I could say what I want to say I'd say I want to blow you, away Be with you every night Am I squeezing you too tight If I could say what I want to see I want to see you go down On one knee Marry me today Guess, I'm wishing my life away With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good It's just a waste of time What use is it to you What's on my mind If ain't coming out We're not going anywhere So why can't I just tell you that I care

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DEVON

I woke up with a groan and felt my head throb and ache just like it would do if I was hungover. I hadn't had a single drop even if I should have when I remembered the way I painted and for how long. I was pretty sure I had fallen asleep on the floor but when I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Niall's pretty face very close to mine.

My heart jumped in my chest and my lips parted before I licked them. He was sleeping and he looked so peaceful and motionless that I started wondering if he was actually breathing. I slipped my hand under the cover to reach for his naked chest and held my breath at how warm his skin was. It was a miracle my cold hand didn't wake up up but I still waited a few seconds, trying to feel his heart beating in his chest.

Every time I looked at him, I felt something twist in my stomach. I knew he wanted us to be official and if I listened to my heart, that's what I wanted too, but risking it was so scary I couldn't find the courage to give in to his request. I thought about Henry and how he had broken me, and I thought about Abby and how Niall could break me even more. There was no was I could heal my heart if he hurt me, it would be turned to complete dust and I knew it.

I found myself jealous of the way Niall was in love with Abby, and how he would have done anything for her. I was jealous of a past relationship of the man I had refused to date and I hated myself for it. I knew it wasn't rational and that it made no sense but I couldn't help it.

Perhaps, if I had met Niall before I met Henry... maybe if he had met me before he met Abby... In that specific case, maybe we could give each other the chance and the love we both deserved. The problem was that we both went through the exact same thing, or almost, and apparently, two persons who went through the same thing can understand each other, but can't help each other. I didn't know how true that saying was but I had heard it enough to hear it echo in my head every time I wanted to love again.

I brought my hand up to his face and brushed my fingertips on his cheek so softly that I felt a shiver run in my back. One of my fingers reached his bottom lip and I felt myself tear up. I had never met in my life a man like Niall and he was slipping through my fingers because of my fears and anticipations. It was unfair, and it was stupid, but the knot in my stomach was there permanently and I couldn't make it disappear. All the feelings that came back when I saw Henry again made me remember how bad love hurts and at that exact moment, laying in bed in front of Niall, I knew it was true.

I desperately wanted to kiss him but I knew he didn't want us to do anything anymore so I just swallowed hard and got out of the bed slowly. I searched for my painting and found it on the desk in a corner of the room, sighing low. I hated it and started nibbling on my bottom lip, trying to remember that I always hated my art in the first few days after making it, and that it was normal. Besides, artists are the worst critics of their own art.

I heard Niall move in bed and turned around just in time to see him reach for a pillow and bring it against him. He let out a short whimper and it made me wonder if he would have cuddled me if I was still in bed. I shook my head, trying to push that thought away, and finally search for a pen in the room, finally finding one in one of the drawers. I sat on the couch and started scribbling a few words on a paper. I really sucked at writing songs, but I could clearly remember a melody, especially one that really touched me, and it came in handy at that moment.

When I was done, I re-read what was written on the paper and raised my nose up before sighing again and folding the sheet, putting it away in my bag. I decided to take a quick shower to take the paint off my arms and face and when I walked back in the room, Niall was awake. I stopped walking and held my breath at the sight of his naked back. It's not like I had never seen Niall only wearing boxers but perhaps knowing I'm never get to touch him again made something twist in my stomach.

"Oh, hey." he let out when he turned around. "How did you sleep?"

I wanted to tell him that I slept better than I had in a while, if only because he was with me in the same bed. When I woke up, I felt the warmth of his body emanate on mine even if we weren't touching and I loved it way too much. I couldn't tell him that it would have been even better if he was holding me all night, but I wanted to, because I felt it all over my body. I felt it so intensely that I had to swallow a lump in my throat.

"Was nice, and you?"

"Good, thanks." he said, putting on sweatpants. "Better than the floor."

I sent him a small smile that he sent back and I licked my lips. "Thanks for bringing me in bed and tucking me in, last night. I vaguely remember."

"You're welcome, Devie."

I felt my heart flutter at the nickname and I realized I'd never get over it.

"So, you're going skiing today?"

"Snowboarding, yea." he let out, searching for his stuff in his bags. "You're gonna join us downstairs in a few hours?"

I nodded quickly and pressed my lips together as I stared at him. I loved how he moved around the room like it was just a random day and we were just used tp be around each other like that. To some extent, we were, since we shared the same room on campus, but it felt slightly different at that moment, more intimate, maybe. I let my mind wander, imagining what it would be like if we ended up dating and living together. Was that what I would see in the morning before he actually went to work?

"Okay, I'm ready. I'll see you later?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mmhm." I nodded as I imagined him walking closing to me and bending down to kiss me.

Why did I like this scenario so much it made my heartbeats accelerate? I watched him leave and when the door closed behind him, I felt extremely empty and lonely. I got up after a few minutes and walked to my painting again, running my fingertips slowly on the colors I had used. Was it crazy to start painting with light colors so early after a break up? I turned my head to look at the door, hoping it would open again as my heart thumped hard in my chest. It was Niall, I knew it. It was him that brought in me all these new emotions and I liked it so much I felt myself tear up.

Without thinking, I searched through my bag and found a few pictures I had taken. I had taken the time to develop them by myself in the college darkroom and I had loved the result. Despite myself, the lights had added a few pale yellow spots and it looked amazing. At first, I wanted to numerize them and modify them but I realized I didn't need to.

I sat in bed and looked at them carefully. There were no full faces on any of them. My favorite was one of Niall's naked shoulder with a bit of his back and hair. We could also see the top of my head and part of my forehead in it too as I lied down beneath him, and his fingers were slipped in my hair. I had no idea why this specific shot made me feel emotional but it was strong and it made something twist in my chest.

I got up and grabbed the piece of paper I had put in my bag earlier before I walked to the desk, sitting down in front of it. Slowly and carefully, I copied the lyrics I had scribbled while Niall was asleep behind the picture, along with a few lyrics that didn't belong to me. I had taken a lot of pictures in my life, but nothing like this one. Perhaps it was only because it meant so much to me... because he meant so much to me. It actually made me want to pain that picture and I quickly grabbed a blank canvas from my stuff before grabbing a pen. I was never really good at drawing people, I felt like the human body was too complex to draw, but I decided to make an exception this time. It didn't really matter anyway. When I'd add paint, the forms wouldn't be as defined and even if I knew nothing could be better than the actual picture, I felt like not painting it would eat me up inside.

I couldn't tell how long it took me but when I didn't stop until I was done. Normally, a painting like that could take me many days to create but somehow, it had turned out the way I wanted after only a few hours. I left it on the floor and decided to finally take an other shower, if only to take the paint from my hands, arms and face. I got out and quickly dressed before checking my phone. I had no message and I raised my nose up, telling myself they were probably busy skiing but I still decided to get downstairs, to the common living room. I loved how all the couches were placed with a fireplace in the middle. The first thing that made my heart jump in my chest was a laughter. I recognized it because I had to hear it for hours on a certain night and every time, it made my heart drop in my chest. Today was no exception. My eyes roamed around and found Abby who was laughing, throwing her head back. She was still wearing her beanie and coat and when I noticed Niall was the one she was talking with, I felt nauseous. He laughed too before taking a sip of his drink and Abby moved closer, placing her hand on his arm and letting it slip down.

I swallowed hard, knowing it probably meant nothing but telling myself that if this simple gesture made me feel like that, I'd never be able to be around Niall if he was dating an other girl, especially if that girl was Abby.

I held my breath and my lips parted when Niall turned around and our eyes met. I felt myself tear up and shook my head lightly before turning on my heels and leaving. I tried to keep my tears in, knowing it was ridiculous to be sad for that, and just as I was reaching the elevator, I felt his warm hand on my arm.

"Hey, Devie, where are you going?" he asked softly as I turned around. His face changed when he saw mine and took a step closer. "Woah, what's wrong, why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!" I let out a bit too roughly, taking a step back. "I didn't want to annoy you while you were flirting with your ex girlfriend."

"Devie, we weren't flirting." he argued. "At least, I was not."

"She was all over you." I just replied.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So? That's what Abby does! Besides, you're texting with Henry and I haven't thrown a tantrum about it!"

"I'm not texting with Henry, what are you talking about?"

"You told me he messaged you when we were at my apartment!" he pointed out, making me frown.

"Yes! But I never said I answered him!" I let out a but louder. "Because I didn't!"

His face changed, his traits softened and he took a step closer. "You didn't?"

His voice was low and gentle and it calmed me instantly.

"No. I want to move on from him, I don't love him anymore."

Once again, Niall took a step closer and took his beanie off. I felt my lips curl very slightly on the light at the sight of his hair and he quickly passed his hand in it, messing it even more. He looked so pretty I felt my head tilt a bit on the right.

"If... If it makes you feel better, I don't have feelings for Abby anymore either. I can't even understand why I ever was in love with her." he added with a shrug. "Not that you really care, because you don't love me like that, right?"

I stared at him and blinked a few times, trying to decide what I was supposed to say. I could be mad at him but I loved the way he was looking at me, as if I was the only person that mattered in the world, as if he was about to jump on me to make me feel all the damn feelings he had for me inside him.

"Did I say that?" I just asked with an amused smile before licking my lip, taking a step back.

"Hey, stay with us, we were about to go out for dinner." he quickly proposed as we heard the doors of the elevator open. "You came here to spend time with your friends, right?"

My eyes roamed on him and I finally nodded. "Alright."

----

Niall was still telling me a story when we walked back in our room. It was late but neither of us really cared. I had a small talk with Louis who presented me his new girlfriend Eleanor, and I immediately liked her. Lewis was funny and the way Daxia looked at him made me happy. I tried not to give too much attention to Noah but he still bought me a drink and we had a small chat. All I wanted, though, was to be close to Niall, and I ended up scared he'd be annoyed that I followed him better than his own shadow. At some point, he had placed his hand on my thigh, moving closer to me to ask me if I wanted an other drink, but all I could think about was the fact that he was touching me.

We didn't drink too much though and when we closed the door of our room behind us, I was laughing because he was funny, and not because I was tipsy. He turned around and took a few steps back as I followed him, but when his lips curled into a cheeky smile, it made me frown.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked, unable to stop smiling.

"Are you tired?"

I frowned more but it only made his smile bigger. "Mm, no. Why?"

"Do you trust me?"

That question took me by surprise but I didn't have to ask myself the question. The answer came naturally. "Yes."

And I trusted him. I trusted him more than I trusted pretty much anyone, and it was one of the things that scared me in this relationship, whatever it was.

"Thank you." he just whispered, holding out his hand to me.

I breathed in but still slipped my palm on his and quickly, he pulled me out of the room. Instead to take the elevators, he brought me to the stairs and we ran down until the main floor, stopping abruptly in front of a door. I held my breath as Niall opened it very slowly, peeking out for a few seconds and finally holding his hand back for me. I grabbed it and he turned around to look in my eyes, bringing his finger on his lips to tell me to keep quiet. I nodded and followed him on the other side of the door until we reached a second door. He tried to open it but groaned and raised his nose up when he realized it was locked.

"Fuck."

I moved to look through the window and my lips curled when I noticed a pool. The lights of the room were off but there were a few at the bottom of the pool and the sight was great.

"I'm gonna try to steal the keys." he added, taking me out of my thoughts and making me blink.

"No wait!" I stopped him in a whisper, holding his arm. "What if you get caught?"

He sent me a small smile and his eyes roamed on my face before he shook his head. "Don't worry."

He left and I felt my hand slip from his arm. I held my breath and remained motionless as I waited for him to come back and it seemed to take forever. When he appeared again, my heart jumped in my chest, scared that it could be someone else, but he stopped right in front of me as I raised my eyebrows. A smirk quickly draw itself on his lips and he moved his hand up, showing me a keychain with at least 20 keys on it.

"Okay, I'm impressed." I admitted low, making him chuckle.

It took him a few tries and he finally unlocked the door. We walked in slowly and when he closed the door behind us, I turned around to look at him.

"I don't have a swimsuit." I admitted, tilting my head.

"You have underwear." he chuckled, making me raise my eyebrows. "What? Nothing I haven't seen, isn't it what you said the other day?"

I pressed my lips together and moved my chin in his direction. "You, first."

He chuckled again and without hesitation, grabbed the bottom of his shirt, moving it over his head. I let my eyes travel on his chest as he worked on the button and zipper of his jeans, finally taking them off along with his socks. He looked way too good, illuminated by the soft lights in the pool, and my heart skipped a beat. I moved my gaze up until my eyes met his again and he sent me a soft smile.

"Your turn."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan enemies to lovers #niall horan au #niall horan college au #niall horan uni au #my fanfics #swy

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willykappymarnsmatts · 3 years

Text

Angels Like You (Can't Fly Down Here With Me)(A. Matthews/M. Marner)(Chapter 2)

As soon as Mitch closes and locks the door to his apartment, he slumps against it, dropping his bag to the floor in the process. His cheeks are scratchy and dry from the tears that had been falling for like half an hour, but at least he’s finally stopped crying. He pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and glances at the notifications. There’s only a snapchat from Dylan Strome and an Instagram message from Kasperi, probably from before his practice started. Nothing from Monica, which hurts more than he thought it would. He clicks his phone off, and puts it on the tile floor next to him. He leans his head back but misjudges how far he’s sitting from the door and ends up banging the back of his head against it. “Fuck,” he mutters, shutting his eyes closed. He isn’t about to start crying again, and definitely not about bumping his goddamn head.

His stomach rumbles, but he doesn’t want to get up from the cool tile floor. His entire body aches like somebody just cross-checked him onto his face. Not even Zeus, his dog, is there to cheer him up, since he’s visiting with Mitch’s brother for the week. Usually Mitch would call Monica after practice, but after her surprise showing up in the locker room, he doubts that will ever happen again. Maybe he could call Auston, but after the whole teary-hug-thing, he doesn’t know if that’s the best idea ever. Auston would just not stop asking if he’s okay, rather than pretending like nothing happened, which is honestly all that Mitch needs right now. It hurts too much to even think about it.

He has to go get wasted.

Even though it's not even six p.m.

So he scrolls through his phone to find Willy’s number and sends a quick text.

Drinks?

The ‘typing’ dots show up almost right away, and a second later a message pops up.

Mitch it’s 4:30

And?

Yeah ur right

I’ll be at ur place in 15

Mitch nods at his phone and slowly gets up from the floor. He thinks about texting Fred and Mo and maybe Zach, but he’s not really in the mood for a big party thing. He just wants to get drunk with one of his best friends.

So he goes into his room and pulls off his shirt to change into something a bit nicer when his phone dings with another text from Will.

Auston coming?

No and don’t ask him

I just wanna hang u and me

He does feel kind of bad about not asking him, because when do they ever go out without each other, but Mitch knows Auston well enough to know that he won’t let Mitch breathe if he were to come. Instead of overthinking it, Mitch grabs his keys and goes to wait outside his apartment building for Will’s car.

He’s outside for a couple of minutes before Will gets there, and when he pulls up Mitch jumps up and runs the couple of meters to his black car. “William,” Mitch states when he opens the passenger-side door.

“Mitchell. Where are we heading?” He taps the steering wheel lightly and runs his hand through his blonde hair. He is really pretty, Mitch has to admit but he’s definitely not his type, the whole ‘I’m beautiful and I know it’ thing a bit too obvious.

If he were gay, that is. He’s not. Definitely not.

“The usual place.” Mitch replies, and Will nods and puts the car in gear. It’s silent for the first few minutes, Will focusing on getting through the Toronto traffic, Mitch staring blankly at his phone. He opens Instagram, but the first picture on his feed is from Monica’s account, so he quickly unfollows her and shuts off his phone, dropping it onto his lap when he’s done.

“So,” Will starts, unsure of how Mitch will take the question he’s about to ask.

“If you’re going to start with ‘how are you doing with the breakup, Mitch?’ don’t even bother. I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” Mitch puts on a deep voice and waves his hands in the air in an attempt to mock Will, and it’s obvious he’s only half-joking. Will doesnt take it personally, though, telling himself that his friend is going through a lot.

“Um, first of all, that is not how I sound, and second of all, I was going to ask what’s going on with you and Auston? Usually the three of us go out, and after this afternoon…” he trails off.

“Nothings going on with me and Auston,” Mitch says slowly, unsure of what exactly Will is getting at. “What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask him to come because I knew he’d be weird about it and not let me live.” Will just nods, looking straight ahead. He turns his blinker on and Mitch starts again. “What are you talking about?” “Nothing. I just assumed something might have happened, that’s all.” Mitch gives him a look and Will lets out a breathy laugh. “Seriously! That’s all.” Mitch nods at him cautiously and the conversation kind of trails off. They talk hockey for a couple minutes, but it’s painfully obvious that the two are waiting to get at least one drink down to talk about their relationship, or, in Mitch’s case, ex-relationship, problems.

Will makes another turn into the parking lot of a small bar you wouldn't notice if you didn’t know exactly where it was. The two walk into the bar and realize it’s busier than they would have thought it would be at 5 in the afternoon, but what difference does it make at this point. They’re already there, so Mitch finds a booth while Will goes to the bar to order them beers. Mitch pulls out his phone and sees a text from Auston that reads it was sent five minutes ago.

how r u mitch? everything ok? :(

Mitch has a weird sinking feeling in his stomach when he reads the text, but he tells himself he shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s not like he did anything wrong. He ignores the text and forces a smile he knows looks fake when Will comes back to the table, a beer in each hand. He sets one down in front of Mitch and the two sit in silence for a second. “Spill. Everything.”

“I don’t even know what the fuck happened, Willy. I knew something was coming, because she always gets kind of distant and stops responding to my texts and calls before she pulls some drastic bullshit like this, but I didn’t think she’d make me choose between my two favourite people on the planet.” He looks up suddenly, as if the words are falling out of his mouth faster than he can process them. “No offence, you’re obviously also my favorite person, it’s just...” Will just shakes his head, smiles a bit and waves him off, taking a sip of his drink. Mitch does the same, and Will takes it as a chance for him to talk.

“Did you ever actually love her, Mitch? Like, I know you always said she’s so great and makes you so happy, but when you really think about it, was there ever even one full day where you were completely and utterly happy with her?”

He pauses and racks his brain for something, anything, literally one fucking memory of the two of them together when Mitch wasn’t berated for something he did wrong, or when she wasn’t on her phone the entire time they were together, or that time she ditched him for her friends on their six month anniversary where Mitch had planned a dinner at a fancy restaurant and they would walk through downtown Toronto in the evening and watch the sunrise on the beach. He was devastated that day, and suddenly the sadness he was feeling turns to anger and guilt. Anger at her, for everything she put him through while somehow convincing him it was love, and guilt, for all the times he ignored his friends while they told him how bad she was for her. He feels like he’s about to start crying again, and he knows he will if he looks up at his friend, so staring at the table, he says, “I can’t.”

Will nods, cocking his head to the side. “It’s okay, Marns. And it’s okay that you’re still hurting over her, because trust me, even though now you realize it was never real, it’s gonna hurt like hell. You have to let it, otherwise it’ll never get better.” “I’ve been through a breakup before, William,” Mitch snaps, but he’s smiling.

“I know, I just want you to know that I’m here for you. And so is Auston.” He doesn’t realize what he’s implying until it’s out of his mouth, but he’s almost 100% sure Mitch missed it too. Just to be safe, he adds, “And the rest of the team, too, obviously.”

Mitch nods and downs half his beer, then looks at Will. “Honestly it doesn’t even hurt now that I realize that. I’m just really fucking angry.”

“So you know what you should do?”

“Hm?” Mitch tips the glass of beer back to finish it off and sets it back on the table, never breaking eye-contact with Willy.

“When you get home, you pack a box of her shit together and fucking set fire to it. Burn everything. Pictures, souvenirs, ticket stubs, everything. It’s what I did when I broke up with my high school girlfriend, and it’s honestly really freeing.”

Mitch nods, kind of unsure about the idea of setting their relationship up in flames. Will reads him easily though, so he laughs and continues. “Or, you could put her shit in a box and tell her to come pick it up, otherwise it's going in the trash.” The two of them smile and Mitch nods.

“That sounds like a much better option. And still freeing.” There’s a lull in conversation, and honestly Mitch doesn’t have much more to say about his predicament other than long, angry rants, so he decides to prompt Willy. “So, you and Kas…”

“Oh my God my turn! Okay so he called me last night, right,” he leans forward and props his elbows up on the table, and Mitch smiles and leans his head in his hands.

The two of them spend the next few hours in their booth, Mitch downing beer after beer, Will stopping after one because he’s going to be the one to have to drive them both home. Close to eight pm, Will realizes how long the two of them have been sitting there, as well as just how drunk Mitch is. He’s slurring his words and isn’t really focusing on Will, looking around the room unfocused while he attempts to keep up with the conversation. He smiles to himself and tells Mitch it’s time to get home.

“No,” he states like a five year old. “I don’t wanna go home.”

“Yes, you do, bud. We have a game tomorrow night, and you don’t wanna be too tired and hungover to play, do you?”

Mitch shakes his head while Will stands, stuffs his phone into his pocket, and pulls out his keys. He waits for Mitch to stand, then wraps his arm around his waist to help him to the door. He could probably walk on his own, but he doesn’t want to take that chance in a crowded bar with a guy who is heavier as dead weight than he looks like he’d be.

The drive home is silent until Mitch picks up his phone and quickly realizes he can’t read what’s on the screen. “I’m drunk,” he announces, and Will laughs. “Can you read it?” he attempts to hand his phone to Will, then realizes shit, he’s driving, and pulls it back to himself.

“After, Mitch,” and he nods exaggeratedly in response. They pull up to Mitch’s apartment, and getting him up to his floor is slightly easier than Will imagined it would be. He does have to help him into bed, though, and doesn’t bother undressing him. He pulls the covers back for Mitch and sits him down on the mattress. He takes the phone from him while he lies down and glances at the screen. There's five text messages from Auston, all spaced out over the three hours they’d been out.

if u need to talk, u know im here

mitch?

ur probably busy or smtg… text when u get a chance

did i make things weird tdy? im sry if i did

call me mitch plz

“Jesus,” Will mutters under his breath and unlocks Mitch’s phone to respond. Mitch gave him his passcode a long time ago, so he knows he won’t care.

Hey its Will

Everything is fine, Mitch is super drunk, that's all

Dw about him

u guys went out?

Will knows how bad it looks that the two of them went without Auston, but he should be able to understand.

He needed some one-on-one w someone not as close to him I think

It def wasn't a party, we drowned in our emotions, man

alright i get it

shit, can u plz delete the messages from before?

including these actually

Ofc np

“Night, Mitch,” Will whispers, although he already realizes Mitch is passed out. He sets his phone on the night table next to him and makes sure to lock the apartment door behind him. Mitch honestly cannot be more blind about his literal soulmate being madly in love with him, but he thinks he has a plan to help him figure it out now.

U should pick him up tmrw for the game. He's gonna be hungover af and moody

ofc, was planning on it anyways :)

#auston matthews #mitch marner #william nylander #kasperi kapanen fics #dylan strome #auston matthews/mitch marner #auston matthews x mitch marner #mitch marner x auston matthews #mitch marner/auston matthews #unrequited love #toronto maple leafs #nhl #nhl hockey #boys are dumb and i love them #willykappymarnsmatts

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